#i think i should get paid to do nothing but my hobbies actually. i think ive earned it

[ardate]

I want to draw and write and not work!! AAGH!!!!! biting furniture

[1979semifinalist]

Hi Kelly! Love all your stuff! I was reading Absolute Wonder Woman and thinking back to your run of Black Widow (which is fantastic btw) and I was just wondering, what made you want to write comics? How did you get started?

I have wanted to write since I was little -- some of my earliest memories are around trying to not only write and draw but create physical objects that people could read. And though I loved Archie Comics when I was little (they were my first exposure to comics) -- I didn’t really know or understand there was a whole big world of comics -- they were just these cool books I used to beg my mom for at the grocery store check out line. But when I was a teenager my younger brothers Scott and Dave and I (though Dave was more casual with it) discovered comics and became huge obsessed fans. And it was then that I realized that comics were maybe this perfect merging of the things I loved -- words and pictures. Initially I definitely wanted to write and draw, but I eventually gave up the draw part (not good enough, not willing to devote the time to get better, impatient, blah blah blah). But I was very sure “making comics” was the thing I wanted to do -- comics and making them became my #1 hobby.

When it came time to go away to college I picked a truly baffling choice (don’t ask) and was thinking I’d probably study English and/or Art. English fell apart right away in my first semester (a bland uninspiring teacher who was equally uninspired with me). Art in the second semester was more promising (but I still knew I did not have what it takes to be excellent in that field). In my sophmore year I had been considering a transfer to an art school (SCAD was at the top of my list since they were the only college at that time that had an actual Sequential Art Degree). And some interesting things happened in my second year at college that really showed me that I was on the wrong path and that I should at least give SCAD a try, because maybe THAT would be the right path. So I left school at the end of my sophomore year, moved home, took a year off to work and earn some money for school and a car, and to take some additional classes at the community college that I knew would transfer to SCAD. And then applied and got a (very small) scholarship. And that was it. I loved it there. Whereas I had ached to be home with my family most of the time that I was at my first college, I loved this so much I didn’t even come home over the summer anymore. It was the first time I felt like I was finding my place in the world and maybe would do something interesting.

But I do things slow.

So after I graduated I took a normal day job and just tried to work on my stuff on the side. I did that for years and eventually... like 10 years later (oof).. it started to become something.

I don’t know if you’re trying to break in, or thinking about trying to do something really hard, but in case you are, here are my advice bits:

1. Everyone hates this advice, but it’s the advice everyone gives it because it’s true: To get noticed and get paid to make comics, you first have to make some comics. You have to show people you can do this, that you have something to say, and the only way to do that is to make some comics.

2. And this: Don’t give up until you’ve succeeded. Trite, but also true.

3. And this one is tough but: Finish your project. An 80% finished project is nothing. A 100% finished project is everything. Getting to the finish line is the hardest part, but if you can manage that you’ll be ahead of almost everyone. Which is encouraging... in its way.

If you are indeed trying to do something, whatever it is... good luck, and don’t give up!

[deesseshesca]

Why am I emotional ?

And suddenly it was just me… FUCK it is just me. 

Good evening, pretty souls, today we are checking on your emotional scale. What is affecting you now, how can we fix it and how to minimize the damage in the process of doing so. 

ANNOUNCEMENT 

I will be giving full reading for a very affordable price (almost free) but there will only be 3 spots available. Stay posted on my blog, so you don’t miss this opportunity. 

Choose the image that’s speak to you and allow yourself to soak ONLY what’s reasoning with YOUR SITUATION 

Rules and Disclaimer 

I am the type of tarot reader to say as it is. Nothing is sugar coated but everything is send with good intention. If you are not ready to face some truth, you should vagabond somewhere else. 

TW: R@pe, S@cide

MINOR DON'T INTERACT WITH THIS POST 

MINOR DON’T READ THIS POST 

CHOOSE AN IMAGE

PILE 1

Two wands, Ace swords, Justice, Queen wands, ‘’Please unblock me … Yeah, that’s me calling you from an unknown number’’, ‘’ I have abandonment issues ! I grew up in a single parent household ! I had a rough childhood”

HEYY !!! Spiritual girly. I’m talking to earthy aesthetic girls. The one that smells like coco butter and vanilla walking around in a long skirt, crop top and too many jewels. When it comes to you, the cauldron told me about an opportunity that finally touches your hand. When I dive deeper into the message, I’m sensing something that took a lot of hard work and a lot of faith. For a long time it was just an idea in your mind for which you fought for it to materialize into the 3D. Congratulations babes ! A lot of obstacles came in the way but you stay resilient. That also was not easy since your faith was often tested in the meantime. I’m getting a new opportunity, a new career field opening, and the start of a new hobby/business. You finally have the time and funds to dive deep into a project. I’m hearing: ‘’I’ll be dammed if I let you fuck me up’’. At the moment, you feel a bit overwhelmed. Now that the gift is sitting on your porch, you don’t actually know how to approach it. What do you want VS what you need ? Your desires or your needs, first ? One is all about the action while the other path is all about trusting the process called ‘’life’’. A lot of people all of the sudden seem very worried about your actions. Acting like the decision you are making has a huge impact on their destiny. If I may, girl f them. If they paid attention earlier, they would have noticed you were not happy with your life . Now all of the sudden they care so much about what's happening to you. Like…Let’s be frl. You have to stand up for yourself. Whatever decision you make regarding that situation, you will NEED to voice it. Is insomnia keeping you up at night ? Well let’s start to implement some meditation before sleep. So you can be less in your head. Try to be more practical with your way of living. Rn I feel like you always looked like a baddie but it’s only recently that you actually felt like one.  Advice: Don’t slow down. Is easy now since you finally receive what you pray for, to relax and enjoy but it is only the beginning. Don’t try to accommodate or to one. Put yourself FIRST. 

Love 

The ex of your dude ( the fact that i did not choose a lover, sneaky link or even crush. Girl why are still holding on for. LOL. ) Is trying to get him back. And you really don’t give a damn. I feel like you don’t even want him. But he is stuck on you like glue. I think the thing that completely broke the bond between y'all is that he doesn't want you to be better. Like you announce him the good news and he knew you really wanted it. Now he wants you to let it go. BOY BYE ! BYEEEE! You don’t even hate him, you feel disgusted that he even thought his opinion mattered that much. Plus he keeps mentioning you change. Babe you did ! Don’t let him bully out of your shit. Now you are more sexually confident with yourself and bold with your boundaries. Him: You were more submissive back than. You: Now I have shit I care for. Advice: STAND ON BUSINESS. If he is block let him stay there. Yes, he is the unknown number that is trying to reach you. 

PILE 2

Hanged man, Moon, Ten pentacles (reverse), Tower, 1111, 777, ‘’I want a second chance ! Not being with you is killing me !’’ 

Heyy… pile 2, you are my TW pile. Before you get deeper in the reading just know it is completely fine for you to take another one especially if you are not ready to talk about it. To beginning , when I was channeling, I first sang a very happy song. Then a faint voice called for help. At that exact moment the card fell out. First let go of the struggle especially if you try everything and nothing is working. Take a moment to breathe. Is time to surrender to life and believe that it will actually bring you to a better place. Let go of the victim and become the warrior you needed from others. Start your healing journey, go to therapy, take your pills, do some journaling. I know when you are reading you probably smirk. I’m speaking with experience, babies. Is not going to change overnight. But as I am channeling, I'm picturing you in a very messy room with molding left over surrounding you.  I keep hearing ‘’ I was NEVER like this before’’. I know babies, I know how such experience can change you. You are FUCKING powerful. I’m not saying this because of trauma, that’s what I channel. You were always standing on your power and someone tried to knock you off your throne. One small change at a time, like cleaning your room once a week. Drinking one water bottle a day. Eating at least 3 times a day even if it is a snack is going to get you going. Right now, you must be feeling fucked up. Like he hurt you. He took away your spark,  why should you try to get it back. When such an event happens in people's life, it is re-birth. Is time to re-learn to live again. Choose your pace and take it day by day. Nobody truly heals from it, I can assure you that. But you can learn to live a thriving life despite it. Instead of going on the hunt for the old version of you, learn about this new you. Pay attention to your dreams, there is a message in them. Reflect on your inner voice. Don’ t allow others to dictate how you are supposed to heal even if what you feel right now is numbness. Stick to your guns since you are the only one that knows you best at the moment. A good opportunity or news is going to present itself in divine timing. You will be sitting in the right place and right moment. One of your wishes will come true. Something worth living will come out of this situation. There’s good luck heading your way. All wisdom gain from this journey would be very helpful to the community if you ever decide to share it one day. 

LOVE 

You are with someone that your friends and family don’t approve of. And the icing on the cake , you don’t like them either. You don’t want to be alone and you are too ‘’broken’’ for a healthy relationship so you are distracting yourself with that. Let me be the bearer of bad (good) news, this relationship will end. Your distraction will leave and reality will hit. One thing I see, they will play games in front of your face. They will even threaten to kill themself, just to keep you sucked in. Text them number phone for help online and move on. Don’t engage more than that. What is more fuck up, is that they keep you close just have sex with you. 

Song: Praying-Kei$ha

Loves classic English literature, read the bible just for fun, future witch

PILE 3 (18+) 

Lovers (reverse), Page Wands, Strength, Hanged man, ‘’I love your swag ! You are the whole package !’’,444

Hey…beyhives. I feel like, I’m only speaking to Beyonce stan at the moment. You guys are still bumping the country album of Queen B, like it came out yesterday. You guys are weirdly connected to my spiritual team because it feels like I was meant to read for you. Let’s get into it. People don’t realize how kinky you are, they know you are freaky. But nah… y’all are KINKY. You are a person that is aware of your sexual power and don't mind using it to your advantage. Your manners , your body, your sensuality, attract and please other people. You know what button to push. You are a very experienced  and sensual lover. Not shy at all, actually very confident. 

LOVE 

I feel like you are looking for a confirmation. Let me be. Your relationship has run it’s time. I don't even think y’all ever loved him. But he was the only one that allow you dual nature. I’m getting from the outside y’all are super cute, but in the bed a pure beast. You guy LOVE sex. You are scared that you are never going to find someone that will get you stamina without judging you by calling your names, especially if you identify as women. He cheated. Which made you extremely possessive and jealous. So you use sex to control him. I’m hearing: How DARE you think you can find better than me ! Advice : Start something new take a break from your love life and slowdown on sex for a minute. Usually if you have more sexual energy than usual it is because your body's calling you to create. Think about it: to create life we need to get nasty in the bedroom. Imma need you to get nasty in your career. Find something that is passionate about you  and go hard (ahahaha). Look at the bigger picture, you are way to focus on him. Feel the fear and do it anyway. You are fearful of rejection. That’s why you allow this man to take the best out of you. Find a new source of inspiration and shake off the blues. Right now contrary to what you might think, you are not sitting in your divine feminine energy. Since you are in such war mode, it is almost completely masculine. Plus, he doesn't care for you at ALL. But he does know that they will never be another woman like you.

Song: Haunted-Beyonce 

Platinum blond hair, very fair skin, very light blue eyes, luscious lips and round face. Face card is LETHAL. 

[miodiodavinci]

anyway as for the long and short of how i'm doing currently (mostly the long)

so two weeks ago i sprained my wrist at work lifting boxes, and it's been a slow recovery even with the help of a brace, stretches, rice buddies, and ice packs. i've had to basically put a lot of my hobbies on hold because i've been saving what little i can do with my wrist for all the job prep i need to do on the weekends (i.e. making flyers, updating spreadsheets, creating presentations, moving more boxes, etc...)

hobbies are even further on hold at this point because this last week i injured my shoulder as well, and i can feel that my ankle is getting ready to go with it. i'm doing what i can to minimize the damage (i.e. got a work cart, have had coworkers come with me to storage, actually sitting down and resting when i'm on break, etc...) but there's not a lot that can be done considering these are Core Aspects of my job and my contract goes until spring (and also like. whole complex situation where i can't leave without screwing over myself and a lot of people i care about)

it's a shit situation all around, but at the very least i'm getting paid a reasonable amount and it's covering my expenses jfgjksdhkfg

(though for all the work i do, god oh god i wish it was doing more than just covering my expenses)

having to take a break from my hobbies has put me in a weird headspace, though. or like it's less of a weird headspace and more that there's finally this pause that has me reevaluating what i want to do in my spare time

i've been consumed by work for the past like four years of my life, this last year was kind of the culmination of that. between completing my internship, finishing my degree, surviving The Horror (read: had a really, truly horrifying cancer scare last year), doing the yamaha collab, and taking care of the flurry of job-hunting stuff that needed to be done post-graduation, i don't know if i actually got a chance to so much as breathe until august

. . . . except in august i immediately collapsed and rotted the entire month away skjdfhgkhsdf

i'm burnt out, i think. like. genuinely, really severely burnt out. the more i think about it, the more i feel like i just need a year of doing nothing.

just. absolutely nothing.

which i've told myself in the past. several times. always in a big showy way. so much so that i feel silly saying it now because i've been saying it for years in the descriptions of my videos and in posts on my blog.

"i'm tired of being beholden to past me!! this year, i'm letting go of my expectations for myself and just doing what i want!!" (<< this user has said this at least 7 separate times and has failed to make good on it every single time)

but i think why i've never been able to follow through is because in spite of all the dropping projects that no longer interested me and not feeling obligated to see everything through, i still held on to the expectation that at the end of it, i'd still post something. but like.

i think posting doesn't really matter to me as much anymore??? if at all???

which isn't to say "i'm putting my foot down and never creating any new vocaloid work ever again," but it's also like. i can't let myself sit with the expectation of "yeah i'll just make things for fun!! and when they're done, i'll post them!!' because that changes the focus from making something for me into making something for others to see, which is. a different beast to care for skdjfgklhsdlfg

i keep seeing a lot of things where i have the opportunity to keep building on what rice and i were able to make as part of the yamaha collab: alternate box arts, matching galaco design, cool new english covers featuring bespoke cover art of the new designs but when i think of starting those, i feel utterly drained, and when i think of how i'll feel once they're finished, i imagine it'll be akin to "alright, i've checked that off the list. what's the next thing i should do not disappear and be a failure?"

. . . . . which is really, really separate from doing things as a hobby because they make me happy OTL

this past year i've really reconnected with my close friends (in part because i stopped having time to scroll online and didn't want anyone to know when i was online because i legitimately did not have the energy to respond) and i've noticed i really truly enjoy just batting around our ocs with each other so more than i've enjoyed any of the vocaloid work that i've put out in the past five years skjfghldkfg

i've been doing vocaloid things for over ten years now, and the collaboration with yamaha was quite literally something i couldn't have even dreamed of, much less imagined it would have just fallen into my lap the way it did. coming off the end of it and my internship though, there's this feeling that's been building for years now where it feels like the effort i put in is just not proportional to the satisfaction i get out of it. it feels more like something i'm supposed to do otherwise i'd just be squandering all the work i've put in and all the attention i've gotten.

. . . . . . i just want to live man 😂 i'm caught in a mental tangle that feels difficult to unravel. spring mio was at the end of his fucking rope, but fall mio is finally has the time to sit down with the slack and is wondering if it's worth it to keep pulling for all i'm worth when i can always just go over to my friend's house and have a funny little sleep over (metaphorical or literal both apply)

i'm not decided by any means but i'm definitely thinking about it.

it's the fact that it's been 2 years since i've released salvador, and i went into it thinking i'd be cool and professional about it, with lots of covers and frequent updates because i used to make lots of UTAU covers in high school, but then i got paralyzed by all the "shoulds" wrapped up in the process and i just. stopped working.

when i say i want to make X cover of Y song, am i really saying that i want to go out of my way to do all these things?? or am i just imagining what momentary satisfaction i'll feel to see another thumbnail on my channel??

...

(face in hands) this ended up being. a lot fucking longer than i meant for it to be jksdfhlkghsdkfg

hopefully most people have clicked away by this point w

it's the tear between the things i genuinely want (making things with friends that stay between us friends) the things i kind of want out of necessity (opening up commissions so i can supplement my income), the things i said i'd do and can't back out now on, and the things i told myself i would do but can't really must up plenty of positive emotions about (but can feel plenty of frightful, guilty emotions when i think of not doing them)

i'll figure it out eventually. even in the worst case scenario, i plan to keep my accounts up as archives, so it's not like my work will go anywhere w i'd still want it to be there once i decide i'm ready to come back to it w

[livelaughghoul]

Lewis Hamilton - Birth Chart Analysis

Disclaimer: This is for entertainment purposes only, nothing observed or taken away from this should be considered fact. As a reminder, I know fuck all about Formula 1, I just like fast cars (DALE EARNHARDT LIVES ON IN MY DREAMS, GOD BLESS AMERICA). 

Additional disclaimer: I am fucking tired y’all. My week at work has been actual hellfire, and I started my summer classes so I am back to averaging like, three hours of sleep a night and I am overworked, underpaid, and barely surviving (I am NOT thriving). I did NOT dive into the aspects of his chart, honestly, I am exhausted and posting this literally in the middle of the night. As soon as I finish this, I am knocking out for the foreseeable. If anyone really wants, I will look at the aspects, but my eyes are starting to hurt. I’ll get to his tarot reading sometime after I wake up. 

Anyway, here is my look at Lewis’s birth chart, since there seemed to be a lot of interest in his overall chart, I went ahead and dove in much deeper than I have on the others. If there is more interest in this, I am happy to do this for others as well. Unfortunately, I am not able to promise the accuracy of these, as a majority of the charts will be done using UTC unless there is a reliable birth time provided anywhere. 

THE PLANETS:

Sun - Capricorn 

A Capricorn Sun to me is like a warm summer day with a perfect breeze, a feeling of coming home after a long day at work, and a perfectly baked apple crisp. It’s reliable, strong, and levelheaded. With this placement being ruled by Saturn, there is a lot of attention paid to time, how long it has taken to accomplish goals, the milestones, etc. I have no doubts that Lewis is the type to remember those important dates and want to make them important. Lewis has a long-term plan and has it planned out in an incredible amount of detail. The goat is applicable in all terms, steadfast, balanced even in the uncertainly, and stubborn.

Moon - Cancer 

I get the sense that Lewis opens up slower, but when he develops trust with someone it takes a lot to break it. There is so much protective and loyal energy with this placement, I have no doubts that once Lewis finds his people, he does everything in his power to ensure they feel valued and protected. Lewis has a gentle heart, and he loves deeply, like DEEPLY. There is a lot of emotions there, and with a Cancer in Moon there is a a tendency to almost be afraid to feel these emotions because they can be overwhelming. I think that Lewis has done the work necessary though to embrace being as emotional as he is, and there is a sense of power in the emotions he feels. 

Rising - Scorpio 

This is such an intense and petty rising sign, I love it. I also just have a soft spot for literally any Scorpio placement (even toxic men with a scorpio sun). In terms of rising, it’s a lot of resourceful placement, Lewis probably feels a sense of calm when he is in charge and feels that he has control. The one downside to a Scorpio rising is that there is a bit of a temper, like, it takes a lot to set it off, but my god, when it gets going, it’s a verbal tearing down that you would not expect. It’s got people walking away thinking about the things said for hours. 

Mercury (Planet of intelligence) - Sagittarius 

This is really nice placement, but it tells me that Lewis absolutely hates any sort of censorship or PR training. Real big jack of all trades in terms of hobbies, and a natural ability to just pick things up and be absolutely amazing at them. Knitting? One youtube video and hes a professional. Baking? No problem, practically a professional from the one time he read a blog online. Lewis is always open to learning new things and challenging himself. I have no doubts that this man is full of wisdom and grace. 

Venus (Planet of love and pleasure) - Pisces

Again, Lewis is in-touch with his emotions, and is so devoted to those that he deems worthy of his heart. While his chart does indicate that there is a tendency to have a bit of a temper, I have no doubts that once there is a spark there, he is the most gentle and kindhearted man there is. He is devoted and will cherish you with his everything. Unfortunately, there is sometimes a lot of self-sacrifice that comes with this placement that can make relationships difficult in the long run. 

Mars (Planet of physical energy) - Pisces 

I personally find this to be a pretty intense placement. It’s not necessarily due to the physicality of it, I just think that there is a lot of emotion that comes with Pisces, and when it clashes with the physicality of Mars, it can be hard to balance them out. I think that there is a tendency to shoulder others' issues and make them his own. Since Lewis is so in touch with his emotions, I think that there is a deeper and better understanding of what he needs to feel stable in a relationship.

Jupiter (Planet of luck, optimism, and success) - Capricorn 

This is an interesting placement, for a few different reasons. It’s one of my less preferred placements, but it’s definitely not the worst out there! The success in Lewis’s life can truly be attributed to his hard work and dedication. This also tells me that there is going to be longevity to the success, it isn’t just going to end. 

Saturn (Planet of responsibility)  - Scorpio 

Saturn here brings a lot of obstacles, but a lot of them tend to be on the emotional side of things rather than physical. Either there is going to be a huge disagreement between him and someone close to him that blows up into public attention, or this has already happened. This brings back some of that stubborn influence that we see in some other placements, his career is going to be something that lasts well past retirement, it isn’t just going to fizzle out. Retirement isn’t going to be traditional at all, his career is going to extend well past his driving days. 

Uranus (Planet of change and originality) - Sagittarius

Even when faced with change, Lewis is going to handle it with grace. We start to see some of the more unconventional beliefs here too, this tells me that there is a lot of spirituality and reliance on the self and manifestation. 

Neptune (Planet of mystery and illusion) - Capricorn

Lewis, the man that you are. I love a Capricorn Neptune because it is whimsical, driven, passionate, and truly in touch with the natural world. There is a lot of dedication to the self and others with this placement. There is so much hope and desire to understand the world at large and how it works with this placement. With Lewis being so connected to his emotions, I think that there is a lot of emotion tied into this placement as well. There is a lot of balance and self-soothing that can be done through this specific placement. 

Pluto (Planet of death and rebirth) - Scorpio 

Pluto is interesting. I definitely think that there is a lot of passion here, like a lot. Going back to everything else in his chart, this really kind of ties it together really well. I think that there is a lot of balance here. I mean, there is a lot emotion and passion everywhere in the chart, and then we get to this? Where it kind of becomes this overwhelming desire and passion to get their own way. 

THE HOUSES:

First house (House of Self) - Pluto, Saturn, and Southern Node

Saturn in the first house tells me that there is a lot of weight placed on Lewis’s shoulders, the majority of it being there by his own doing. Lewis values hard work, and it really shows through his entire chart. Pluto shines through in more of the personality than the work ethic, Pluto in the first brings this natural charism and charm, that welcomes people in and attracts them naturally. The Southern Node here is pretty brutal, and I think a lot of it comes down to how much emotion is carried through the chart. With the Southern Node here, it can be easy to inadvertently hurt others through words or actions. 

Second house (House of Possessions ) - Uranus and Mercury 

I love Mercury here because we are literally seeing it in real time. There is a luxury to it, an ability to continue pushing the boundaries and just build more financial security and comfort. If it’s something that he believes will make his life easier, he has no problem dropping a pretty penny. I also love Uranus in this placement, because again, we literally see it. It’s typically seen in making great finances in an unconventional career (I would argue and say professional motorsports is unconventional). I wouldn’t be shocked to find out that he has an antiques collection or at least an interest in the vintage or antique world. 

Third house (House of Communication) - Neptune, Sun, and Jupiter

Lewis will have a natural talent for being well-spoken and eloquent in his speech and finds it easy to build a connection with others. There is a lot going on in this house, so I think that there may be a tendency to be disorganized in thought more so than anywhere else. Since Jupiter is the planet of luck, I definitely think that Lewis could talk himself out of any sort of trouble. He just needs to find a mutual connection and it’s game over. I don’t think Lewis would be the type to take advantage of this natural ability to charm others, but I do think there might be a tendency to weaponize it when he is feeling wounded. Neptune brings a lot of balance here, and really furthers the belief that he is a spiritual babe! I have no doubts that Lewis finds the occult to be interesting! I would literally give anything to have a chat with him over some occult ideals. 

Fifth house (House of Creativity and Sex) - Venus and Mars 

LITERALLY THE BEST FUCKING PLACEMENT. We have the planet of pleasure and love in the same house as the planet of energy and assertiveness. Venus tells us that Lewis is a natural romantic, and he knows how to make someone feel like they are the center of the universe. Paired with Mars, we see that there is almost an impulsivity to this romantic aspect of things, and that competitive nature comes through. He is going to be the best thing that has happened to someone, he will make damn sure of that. 

Seventh house (House of Marriage and Partnership) - Northern Node

I love the Northern Node here, truly. I’ve said it already, but I’ll say it again. Lewis Hamilton is willing to commit, to his career, to friends, to partners. He is not afraid of commitment at all. This natural charm that he carries is so infectious. He absolutely is going to be the best husband out there, like holy shit. 

Eighth house (House of Death and regeneration, and legacies) - Chiron 

I don’t love the wounded healer being in this house, like at all. To me this symbolizes holding onto things that he should not, likely leading to a festering rage. As I stated earlier, it likely takes a lot to get to the point where Lewis feels that it is necessary to end a relationship in any capacity, it is going to cause a lot of personal pain and bring up a lot of challenges. 

Ninth house (House of Mental Exploration) - Moon 

Lewis is a philosophical man at heart, I have no doubts that when he gets on a topic he is passionate about, he gets deep. I love this placement for him, because it usually means a lot of success in travel, and it’s my understanding (I am sorry for my lack of f1 knowledge guys), that he is constantly traveling. 

[thatbadadvice]

Help! My Girlfriend Bought Me A Million Dollar House And Raised My Kids And All I Got Was This Million Dollar House And Someone To Raise My Kids, When Is It Finally Going To Be My Turn To Get A Break??????

Pay Dirt, Slate, 17 April 2023:

Dear Pay Dirt, My longterm girlfriend and I disagree about whether a $30,000 inheritance left to her by her great-aunt should be “her” money or “our” money. She wants to spend a large part (almost a third!) of it on expensive supplies for her hobby. I think that we should save most of it and use some of it on a vacation since we both find traveling extremely romantic. My argument is: 1) I don’t care about her hobby, but we’ll both enjoy a trip abroad; 2) we’ve lived on only my (admittedly low, since it’s academia) income for over a decade, so according to her own rule about entitlement to “her” windfall, shouldn’t she technically have been entitled to none of my wages all these years? Her argument is: 1) she had to put aside her hobby for many years to raise our children (it’s not a safe art form for young kids to be around) and yearns to return to it; 2) she paid entirely in cash for our $950k house at the beginning of our partnership (though my income pays the property taxes and maintenance costs), therefore she alleges that we haven’t actually been living on solely my income because I’ve been saving on rent all these years. I feel resentful of the double standard about control over finances and hurt that she would rather prioritize her own joy over our shared joy. She feels impatient to reconnect with her hobby and hurt that her contributions to our lifestyle are unseen. How do we reconcile our different viewpoints? How should the money be allocated? Is there something that we’re missing? —I’m About to Glass(Blow) a Fuse

Dear About to (Glass)Blow a Fuse,

I hope you don't mind that I corrected your very clever parenthetical sign-off! You're understandably dealing with a lot of hurt right now at the hands of the cruel and self-absorbed girlfriend who bought you a million-dollar home and abandoned her beloved hobby to raise your children, so I totally get why a brilliant, overworked, and under-appreciated academic genius such as yourself would fuck up something so incredibly simple and obvious, you poor thing. Really speaks to the distress you're in as the victim of this woman's sordid scheme to steal every ounce of joy from your life by experiencing some of her own after decades of managing your household for you for free.

Great relationships are built on the exactly equal division of all resources, and it sounds like your girlfriend has trouble grasping this because she seems to believe that the home you live in and the time she has invested raising your children for you have value, when of course they do not. The only thing that has value in this world is cash money, which is why we call it money. If parenting were valuable, you'd be able to trade it on the stock market! And what was your girlfriend going to do, not live in a house? These are things she'd have done with her life anyway, and they don't get to count toward her contribution to the household just because she did them for and with you instead of expressly and specifically pursuing her art. Whereas who knows what you could have done with your life if you hadn't been locked into a free house and a partner dedicating herself full-time to keeping your children alive for you?

Now, after all these years of being nothing but a worthless freeloader whom you support out of the generous goodness of your kind heart, your girlfriend has finally acquired something of value, and she wants to keep an entire third of it for herself? To do something that doesn't directly benefit, enrich, or entertain you personally? That's not equity, and it's certainly no way to repay you for periodically writing checks to the plumber. Isn't it about time you finally got something out of all of this for your trouble?

What benefit is there for you in having a partner who enjoys the sweet satisfaction of creative fulfillment after years of yearning to express herself? What kind of weirdo wants their girlfriend to have her own interests? And what kind of ungrateful hussy doesn't jump to spend thousands of her own money on a romantic vacation with someone who actively resents even entertaining the possibility of the idea of her doing something that makes her artistic spirit sing?

The balance sheet of this relationship is indeed all out of whack, and it's too bad that it's taken this long for your girlfriend to see just how uneven your bargain has been. If we're going to get technical about what has "value" in a relationship — and it does seem like your girlfriend is an inveterate bean-counter in the worst way around this stuff — the best way to reconcile your mutual account, as it were, is to present your girlfriend with an itemized bill for all the services you have provided her over the years, such as allowing her to buy you a home, permitting her to forego a wage-earning career, and gifting her with the opportunity to abandon her favorite hobby. That should pretty swiftly put everything you're "missing" in stark relief, and solve the question of how she should allocate her money in the future.

[revasserium]

Do you ever feel like writing Fandom content is a waste? 😭 I started with writing original content but I fell into writing Fandom and fic works years ago. At first I was like cool with it because I saw it as practice but I made ocs for the fandoms and I'm invested lol now I've been feeling like I should be putting this time and energy into original things. I know I won't ever get published but like still 🤣

hmmm i think to a certain extent, it depends on what your "end goal" is -- but even then, i don't think it's a "waste". writing is one of those things that you have to practice to be "good" at (like most things), but it also requires a degree of life experience. and not to say that you can't produce good writing when you're younger (there are lots of super talented young authors out there!) but for the most part, it's always more "true to form" if you write based on things you've experienced. and those experiences tend to only come with time.

i think the cool thing about producing for fandom is that it does several things at once: it hopefully gives you joy (if writing is a hobby of yours and the fandom is one that you like), it allows you to try your hand a bunch of different writing styles without any kind of "personal commitment" to a style, and it gives you super valuable practice.

if you enjoy writing for fandoms and ocs, then i don't think it's a waste of time at all. any time spent being happy or joyous in this life is time well spent. and there's many many proper scientific research papers out that there prove your brain and body need this kind of "down time" to indulge in the things you love, that have no sort of monetary-tie.

even IF your end goal is to be published someday, there's nothing to say that one of the oc's you've created now can't make it into original work later. or that a storyline you've been thinking through and building out can't become the plotline to your debut novel. i think the super cool thing about "the arts" as a genre is that aging is actually seen as a great benefactor. because the older you are, the more you do it, the ultimately better you'll get. because unlike sports where you're trying to do the thing before your body can't anymore, your mind continues to grow and get better as you age. and so does your writing.

as someone who writes for pleasure, and at one point in time was a paid writer (that was my full time job), i can tell you that it definitely changes things when you start to get paid for it. it takes some of that enjoyment out of it. and it felt so nice to write for myself and for fandom again after leaving writing as a temporary career.

and you shouldn't be so sure you'll never get published! look at all those wattpad fanfics that get turned into movie-deals!!! do i think they have the best writing ever? no! but does it prove that regardless of what kind of writing you do, if you're able to harness an audience, people are bound to take note? yes! and even if, again, you aren't able to get yourself a netflix movie deal with the fanfic you write, the community you build and the happiness it gives you is i think more important! it'll make whatever your actual money-job is more bearable :) it def does that for me!

tl;dr -- just bc it's not making you money, doesn't mean it's not important! in fact, most of the time, the stuff that you do for yourself and your friends, for your fandom, for the things that you love are the things that make life worth living! the things that make you you. so keep at it!!!! <3 and if you DO want to publish a novel someday, it's never ever too late to start. you'll have just as much of a leg up on the writing part, because you've been practicing while writing for fandom too! :)

[hcfiles]

Let's see if you have the guts to answer me. Why? I just wanna know "why" are you doing all this? What motivates you to open 3 accounts to shit talk a celebrity you never met? Did he do something to you on a personal level? If not why do you care about his personal Life so much? You call him all kind of ugly things from weak/insecure/immature to idiot/emotionally damaged while stalking/harassing him and his gf for what? 3 years? You call them bullies but the only bully I see is you. You are insecure about your "opinion/assumptions"...that's why you open a new account every time your last got reported, you obviously need validation from other people. You need them to agree with your crazy little rants. So who is the insecure one? Your entire page screams "I have too much time on my hands....Im going to create a hate page for a celebrity because I lack self confidence and a social life myself"! And btw Im not saying you cant have your opinion on him, hes a public figure but some people go way too far and you are one of them. We live in turbulent times, why arent you putting your focus on more important things? If you hate Henry now, cool let him go and move on. There are way bigger issues in the world than Henry's dating life...let the man do whatever he wants, its really not your business. And when people want to support him, let them. We dont care about bs rumors with zero proof, what we care about is his work.

Henry himself admitted he has issues showing his feelings btw, he is a introverted Person! He doesnt hide it. And yes I believe he has anxiety just like many many other people and you shaming and belittling him for it is disgusting. Idk why you do this but maybe start looking at your own behavior before you point fingers at Henry and Natalie. I would suggest you to find happiness for yourself, get a hobby, go outside...let things go that no longer make you happy. There are so many celebrities, go find a new one to obsess over. But you know Hollywood is a toxic business dont you? With the Diddy files coming out and many celebrities getting exposed...there wont be many celebrities left to stan. Henry is a saint compared to them. But why arent you exposing them? the real criminals, s3x trafficking, child abusing satanists/p3dos...doesnt matter to you I guess. Get your priorities straight Girl because even if you are right in some ways what does it matter? Henry is the one who has to live with it not you, not me or anyone...him. There are many PR relationships in Hollywood, nobody in the Business cares if his relationship is real or fake because Hollywood is fake as a whole, its run by p3dos and criminals. The fact that Hollywood doesnt like Henry much should tell you everything you need to know.. he's not one of them. He didnt sell his soul, didnt lose his values ( according to someone who knows him) He stays out of there as much as he can. Im not saying hes perfect but people who actually know him, people who work or have worked with him only have good things to say about him. He has done so many good deeds.. He donated 1 million to earthquake victims, secretly paid for an actor and his friends meal, he saved a co-stars life from drowning, he sends wrap gifts to everyone on every single project he works on and much more and he never brags about these things. You obviously dont see other celebrities do you? because many of them brag about everything they do on social media. And last but not least, you dont work in a toxic business like Hollywood, you dont know what its like and what he's been through. I have seen the Witcher smear campaign thrown at him but nothing with substance or actual proof, the sources are always anonym. The cast and crew came out praising Henry debunking most of it. There are higher up people who would love to see Henry getting cancelled in order to save their own a#$es. They have been trying but obviously cant find anything on him so why do you think you can? When even Hollywood insiders cant? Have you ever seen someone directly accuse him of something? Mistreatment? Abuse? Ever? And im talking about a legit source not the anonym bs....! Gina recently spoke about him and she only confirmed what we know since years.. that he is a real Gentleman, a beautiful, passionate, kind Man. Go ask anyone he worked with, ask them what hes actually like and they will tell you he's a great Guy!

Wow! I see I touched a nerve. Apparently, I'm in the right direction to have you write a manifest. Well, to answer some of your questions, so it's OK to do what I do, as long as it is with another celeb? And, Henry is untouchable? Hum. Interesting. You suggest us to find something else to entertain us. Well, this shenanigan entertains me. This is how I chose to spend my free time, entertaining with the circus Henry is performing. But, you seem hurt to have people disagreeing with you. Different opinions threaten your beliefs. So much, you wrote a manifest. Who is the insecure? If all I write is bullshit on a personal blog, that won't make any difference in Henry's life, minion.

[donnerpartyofone]

We are now entering the holiday season, more or less, which starts early for my family due to a birthday, and I wish this didn't fill me with ambivalence. I like my family, they have interesting things to say, they're great hosts, they can create an idyllic sort of environment; but meanwhile, there is the exhausting obligation to somehow promote oneself, to find something to take to market, and I don't have anything like that and it causes problems. I'm the only person in my family who isn't outrageously accomplished. I had all the same opportunities as everyone else, it was just never going to happen, I'm not good enough. Which sounds self-pitying but honestly it only sounds that way because our ears are conditioned to hear it as some kind of criminal admission of an unacceptable circumstance, instead of a casual acknowledgement of a completely normal circumstance. I think I would feel a great, cathartic relief if it were socially acceptable to just concede that you're a loser, that you're not going to amount to anything due to personal limitations. I mean, I feel like this should not be controversial actually, but it seems to make people feel frightened and confused and angry and if you even come close to saying "This is about it for my personal potential, nothing really worked out"; anyone who hears this will immediately go to great pains to try to force you to take it back, even if they believe it themselves.

I think this might be more true than usual in my family. I think they're embarrassed to know me, but admitting such a thing could make anybody feel like a bad person even though they shouldn't, they have a right--but to avoid feeling guilty (about something they shouldn't feel guilty about), there has to be this endless, exhausting game of make-believe where we all pretend to like me and to be interested in what's going on with me. So I have to like "bring something to the table", I can't just say I have nothing going on; I have to describe one of my dumb little hobbies that I kind of just nominally get paid for once in a while, and they don't understand what it is or what is the context or why any normal person would care, is so I have to describe it in a lot of boring detail, and then by the time I finally get through clarifying what the service/product is everyone's eyes are totally glazed over but they still have to find the energy to respond as if they are somehow impressed. And then the next time it comes up, we have to do the whole entire process over again because no one ever remembers what I said because they didn't really get it the first time, and it's really something they wouldn't even have to know about if it weren't for me, and it's at least as exhausting if not more so.

Recently I tried out a strategy of just saying less. I thought that if I just clammed up and didn't draw attention to myself, then that would put everybody at ease. (Asking other people about themselves only gets me so far, they always seem a little annoyed, like when you're trying to explain fashion to your uncool aunt or something) Sometimes it's like I'm not really there anyway; when I got engaged they threw a dinner for me, and there was about twenty minutes of discussing the wedding before the rest of the evening was devoted to someone's restored, vintage BMW and the drama of where to park such a beautiful and valuable object. Then there was the birthday outing where nobody asked me any questions, the whole afternoon was devoted to someone else's brand new Audi, which distraction prevented them from attending a super important professional event I had actually-on my birthday. The deflection to someone's fancy car whenever I require attention has become a private joke between me and my spouse, who frankly I sometimes think they are not nice enough to because he's married to me. He's an interesting person with a serious career that tells him a lot about how the world works, but sometimes I think they kind of see him as another stunted child because marrying me reflects poorly on him.

Which could totally be a projection on my part, but anyway. The point is I tried out my policy of only speaking when spoken to, or at least not saying anything personal, and everything indicated that this should have worked out, but it seemed to just make people even more mad at me. Admittedly there was an extenuating factor, that someone's famous friend came over and immediately challenged me to say that I was a professional writer like everyone else, and when I confessed that I was just unemployed, he kept trying to put words in my mouth about how successful I must be in some other way, and it was mortifying for me but more importantly it was mortifying for him that I couldn't reward this behavior. Meanwhile, another relative asked me exactly one question about myself--a career question--and when I didn't have an answer, that was the end of all conversation until we were all departing and she accused me of refusing to commune with her even though she missed me and was dying to talk to me. I don't really know what I'm supposed to do.

I feel the need to defend these people. I'm certain it's true that they care about me in that deep-down, fundamental, blood ties way. That's a lot more than many people get from their families. And it's mostly true that they have not been openly hostile or insulting; I mean this is absolutely not true historically, some pretty fucked up things have been said to my face and in front of groups, but this hasn't happened in long enough that I think it's right to try to let it go. In some ways it would be easier if everything were just bad enough that we could all give each other the finger and part ways. What I'm grappling with is this feeling that if I don't work really hard, I'm going to become estranged, which I think would be bad both spiritually and strategically, if you have a family who doesn't actively harm you I think you should keep them around for many different reasons. But it's an established thing that if one family member pulls away, there's a loving conspiracy to draw them back, whereas if I seem to become a little distant, I'm going to get accused of something, like even in writing sometimes. So I have to be on my best behavior all the time, and I have to keep playing this game where I pretend that big things are happening for me and I have to do a whole marketing presentation on this total lie even if everyone is bored to death and not a little embarrassed. I don't know, I guess it's nobody's fault. There's no way we would ever know each other if everybody weren't forced to be related to me, I might as well try to make it easier for them. It's just hard because there is nothing about me that would make it ACTUALLY easy for them to be associated with me, so I'm dutybound to kind of just laboriously smile and make shit up for the rest of my life in order to keep clinging to the fringes of our existence.

It just sucks because I love the fall, I love Halloween and Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Year's. And it's not NEVER fun to be with my family. But the season I love is just tainted with this anxiety because it's like illegal to admit that you're just sort of a loser, and my family could never admit that they just basically kind of dislike untalented, unsuccessful people, because there's a cultural prejudice that that's a moral failing--which it isn't, it's just a personal preference, but I guess we're all saddled with the same baggage. Everything would be so much more relaxed and intimate if we could openly accept the way things really are, but it's definitely never going to happen. Stress.

[the-jesus-pill]

Is there a word for missing being in a shitty religion because it made you feel like you had a purpose? I dunno, it's just. I know it's a cult now, I never want to go back, but fuck if I don't miss actually Knowing who I am and what I'm supposed to do and feeling like I belong somewhere. Is that a thing that usually happens? Do you have any resources for dealing with it? I hope this isn't an inappropriate question.

This is normal! I haven't been a part of the church for probably more than a decade and sometimes I still wonder if I'd be happier being part of something where if you say the right things and make the right decisions you will be accepted, praised and loved.

It's both the positive and partially the negative of leaving - now you can decide who you want to be, what you want to do, who your friends are.

I think everyone who leaves a community, whether that community was religious or otherwise, whether it was healthy or not, experience this feeling of 'well, what do I do now?'

But the good news is that there will always be another group for you, whether you find them right away or not. Humans are social animals, and there are people who want you in their lives as much as you want to be in theirs. Finding them is the difficult part but it's so rewarding when you do.

My advice is find out what you like or what you want to learn and see if there is a community for it nearby!

This can be paid lessons like dancing, yoga, hiking groups, learning music or other languages, or it can be hobbies like cosplay, table top roleplaying, crafting, theater, etc. Learning a sport or doing local activism can also be a good way to get to know others (although be careful with activism, while it's a very good cause, it should not be a hobby and it can have its own complications)

If there's nothing in your immediate local area, try online communities! Online book clubs, writing groups, fandoms and roleplaying, music appreciation are good examples to start, lots of people there and many of them looking for newcomers to share their passions with.

Check out your local library or fandom stores (like comic book or cosplay shops) for smaller events - and Reddit has a lot of communities for basically anything you can come up with.

Feeling like you don't have a place is a very common feeling, even amongst those who aren't apostates. Everyone feels self conscious about not having enough friends - or not having ANY friends. We're told we need to belong somewhere to matter.

But in truth you have all the time in the world to find your people. You might find a group of friends and then it doesn't work out - friends leave or there are falling outs and it can feel like you're not cut out to have relationships. It's normal to not immediately find your soulmates, your BFFs, your found family on the first try. Keep trying! They are out there.

Edit: I recommend reading this article! Ask Polly: How Am I Supposed To Make Friends In My Late 20s?

[greetings-humans]

this has already been said a million times but ig some people never got the memo so here I am.

when a fic updates and it's been a while (be that a month, a semester, a year, multiple years, a fucking decade or maybe several of those) YOU DON'T SUDDENLY GET A FREE PASS TO BE AN ASSHOLE TO THE AUTHOR

some things for your consideration:

the fic author is not paid for this creative effort and also needs to spend time actually supporting themselves financial

the fic author is not a robot that cranks out creative material. breaks are needed, sometimes people leave fandoms and come back much later. it is human and it is natural. some people can't completely obsess over one single fic consistently and also write stuff for it, and thus cannot consistently give you chapters. sometimes, "consistently" also means not as soon as you'd like. please find your brain from the lost and found and realize that if someone is updating and has not abandoned their fic, that is an absolute win and definitely not a given

the fic author is a human being that just so might wanna engage in hobbies and relationships (platonic and/or romantic), which takes time

you should keep in mind that it takes a lot of fucking brainpower to have an idea, like the idea, decide to write the idea, find the time to write the idea, find the inspiration to continue said idea, ACTUALLY FUCKING WRITE THE IDEA, and find it in yourself to publish it

you are entitled to nothing. actually, since I'm a nice, empathetic person, I'll ammend that. the only thing you might be entitled to is an edit at the tags saying 'fyi next chapter is gonna take a while'. you deserve no explanation. I deserve no explanation. if the author comes back after years to update I will go to the comments and tell them how surprised and happy I am and then talk about the fic. be a bit more like that please

if you don't like the updating frequency, consider DOING IT YOUR FUCKING SELF (and talking about it with the fic author if you got inspired by said fic, and definitely giving credit).

if you don't like the updating frequency, consider NOT READING OR COMMENTING ON THE FIC or just maybe READING A DIFFERENT FIC (don't like don't read is always in effect babes, this is fanfiction, if i started saying shit under every fic with a premise that made me grimace I'd have made so many people and myself so upset)

this is not one of those cases where you can make it other people's problem. the author has every right to take as much time as they fucking want. I don't see you writing this exact fic in their exact circumstances, so kindly shut up

okay, for real, though. you can't know. the author could be going through anything, including but not limited to childbirth, divorce, grief, mental health issues, physical health issues, schoolwork (not everyone is an academic genius samantha, let people take their time), friendship/romance drama. they could also, fyi, just wanna take a break. nothing wrong with that. it's actually the recommended course of action to avoid burnout in case you hadn't heard. literally who do you think you are to take an issue with that? their fucking publisher? do you have a deadline to meet harold? is your pay based on this? what was that? no? okay cool then shut it.

how fucking dare you complain about how fast a literal human being with an entire life outside of fanfiction can write literally so many words about something new.

btw this is what inspired all of this

one of my favorite fics updated after... well three months maybe? and I spot this in the comment section as I go to drop my own comment. literally how dare you. do you understand how discouraging and infuriating it is to see some random person say this about your brainchild?? im glad you're liking the fic berryl but if you have an issue with the time between updates, keep it to yourself, read another fic, or write your own fic.

[thosearentcrimes]

I feel like FOSS should probably split definitively into separate "we would like to make usable free software to empower users to get the most out of their computers and to undercut rent-seeking software companies" and "computer touchers only, normies fuck off" factions, would probably resolve a substantial amount of confusion!

Like, there's absolutely nothing wrong with the latter point of view! It's not like anyone expects guys who work on classic cars or constantly have three motorcycles taken apart in their shed and zero operational ones to do free maintenance for them. Well, ok, maybe their friends and family might, I've never owned a car so I'm not really familiar, but at the very least they shouldn't. Even for ostensibly utilitarian tools, there are hobbyists or specialists whose interests and preoccupations are drastically different from those of general users, and they will develop communities and jargon and so on, and they will feel alienated from (and perhaps even hostile to) the general public, even see themselves as naturally superior because of their deeper understanding of the tool. That's normal and there's basically nothing wrong with it. Power tool guys are like this too I gather.

But it's inconvenient for this conception of the computer, as a niche hobby or skill with its own insular community, to coexist with the concept of FOSS. I'm not a computer toucher myself (though I have them among my friends and family) but I really appreciate that there is this huge community which does insane amounts of work and coordination and it all allows me to use a computer without having to worry about being trapped in Microsoft or Apple or Google's walled gardens, that maintains a lot of software that is competitive with (and sometimes superior to) paid alternatives, and that pays attention to accessibility so that I have this ability without having to learn to be a sysadmin (and in fact with less effort and specialized knowledge than making Windows usable would take, though I do also have the aforementioned computer touchers who I can ask for help in a pinch). It is an immense boon to my life and I think it would be one to a lot of people currently stuck using proprietary software and hating every minute of it. If that's someone reading, then trust me, it's not that tricky, for the most part it just works and it's really user friendly these days.

The problem is that when both of these groups can be identified as "FOSS" and run in the same circles and have the same culture to the point of being indistinguishable (and in some cases, the same person but on a good/bad day), the former group are inundated with normies and the latter group are starved of new users, on account of how the aforementioned normies take one look at FOSS, see someone who seems personally aggrieved that they have dared to use a computer, and retreat to the walled garden.

Also if installing that program really had been just a matter of running three console commands in sequence it would have been easy to make an "executable" shell script, right, but it's not that simple is it. There's actually a lot of complexities involved (python environment) that make it impossible to reliably just run three commands in sequence and get it working, aren't there. Complexities that might frustrate someone used to simple executables, perhaps. The developer is not obligated to do the impossible and manage builds for every environment for a random side project they're sharing out of good will, and the user shouldn't be a pissy bitch about the way things are without having any idea of why they are that way, obviously. Ideally people would be taught what computer is and how to use it.

[karliahs]

1 & 10 & 22 !!

from the weird writer questions asks

ty anon!!!

What font do you write in? Do you actually care or is that just the default setting?

i have never once changed the font from whatever the default is, so currently i write in (checks google docs) arial

i do always think that i should try the comic sans trick next time i am stuck. and then never remember that exists when i am actually stuck

10. Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?

oh man. all the time.

for other people's writing: my primary hauntings are sadie by courtney summers and idaho by emily ruskovich. i kind of don't want to even say anymore bc i think everyone should read those books while knowing as little as possible about them (minus content warnings bc there are some extremely heavy ones). if you're not gonna read them: the fates of some characters are left ambiguous in both, and both absolutely haunt me. i think about them all the time

i am definitely haunted by other people's fics also. scenes/lines will become part of how i think about that character and will play on repeat when i am walking around listening to music having my character thoughts

with my own writing: also big yes!! some fics haunt me as i am writing them. sometimes scenes are so vivid it feels like they are writing themselves inside my head. ten of swords felt so much like a haunting. i was mentally writing it as i was falling asleep and then i woke up in the middle of the night and it truly just carried on as though nothing had happened.

things i've written can also haunt me after they are written. i reread my own fics a lot and sometimes i get kind of...stuck...on a particular work. there were weeks when i read the same fic like....10 times? at least? sometimes specific paragraphs even. there was a period where i just kept rereading this one bit of repeat:

Don’t tell him that you’re tired too – not of him, not from lack of sleep, just bone-deep tired of every good thing being so fragile and temporary. Tired of running on a wheel every day, every day, and knowing you can lose these kids anyway. Suspect that he’s noticed anyway, since he’s visibly trying to find a non-impertinent way to ask if you’re alright. Every year they’re kinder and more breakable.

i think it happens when there is something buried in a thing i've written that i don't fully understand yet. or don't understand why it's hitting me the way it is.

i like it. i'm in favour of being haunted

22. How organized are you with your writing? Describe to me your organization method, if it exists. What tools do you use? Notebooks? Binders? Apps? The Cloud?

ha. not organised at all. it's me and 50 google docs against the world. which is mostly fine because i don't write particularly long things, or have long projects to keep track of.

about the only organisational things i do are putting a . at the front of file names if that fic posted to help me mentally skip past it in the list, and putting the fandom in square brackets at the beginning...sometimes. very inconsistently. it's most useful for fandoms where i'm not currently writing for them, so again it's helpful to mentally skip over those

it's funny bc i worked admin for a long time so one of my like work skills is organisation, and i think that makes me less inclined to do that with hobby stuff. being organised is for when i am being paid to do it

[nicolestamas]

Paywall CC and Micro-Transactions Are Basically The Same Thing: An Essay

EA/The Sims 4 recently announced and implemented Daily Login Rewards which a number of players aren't thrilled about, as it appears to be a precursor to the introduction of paid micro-transactional content. There's a poll on The Sims Community (bottom of the page) where over half of respondents say they do not like this new feature. Players are tired of having every penny squeezed out of them that EA can manage, and with the sheer number of paid DLCs out there now I think we can all agree that it's too much.

On the Custom Content side, however, it seems users are incredibly divided over the notion of charging for making CC. Many players argue that creators spend a lot of time and energy in creating content, and that it's not unreasonable to want to be paid for those efforts. And I can understand that. These days it seems that every time someone has a hobby or side activity they do, they're encouraged to try and turn a profit from it if they're reasonably good at it. There are custom content creators out there who have fundamentally changed the way The Sims 4 plays and I have no doubt in my mind that the contributions of the CC community is a large part of why the game is still so popular despite it initially launching almost a decade ago.

One of the few, or maybe the only, ways that EA has actually behaved in a pro-customer fashion is by making it part of their EULA that creators can't charge a bunch of money off of creating CC, I believe due to the .package file type being their proprietary creation. I doubt it was their intention to protect consumers with this rule but nonetheless, we benefit from such a policy. As the years have passed though EA has begun allowing creators to profit off of CC creation by offering "an early access incentive for a reasonable amount of time" and while there's no hard time period given I did see on one EA page (which of course I can't find now) that the Early Access period should be around 3 weeks. I personally feel like 1-2 weeks of early access is reasonable, but can deal with 3-4 weeks. Anything over a month is unreasonable to me.

I say this all to preface a story I want to share that happened to me yesterday. There is a creator (I won't say who) that has had a CC collection in Early Access for over a month with no stated release date. I've been eyeing it specifically to write about for my work at Snooty so it's something that all users should be able to acquire, and while I personally have no problem finding alternate sources for overly paywalled CC I acknowledge that not everyone is comfortable doing that, especially in light of the recent malware attacks that have hit the Sims 4's CC community.

I wanted to report this creator to EA, as they've told us to do for such circumstances, but was frustrated to find that all the steps EA has previously outlined for reporting these EULA violations no longer work. I made a post about it on Reddit to r/TheSims and while I got plenty of likes on the post I ended up deleting it after a few hours because so many commenters were too focused on the creator I was complaining about not being "bad" compared to others out there, and calling me entitled for not wanting to wait for their CC set to release. And I get it, I'm not entitled to anybody's creations. None of us are. But it really surprised me how so many people were coming to bat for this person who was doing a wrong thing, and being upset with me who did nothing but call out that said person was doing the wrong thing. For the record this person charges $5 for their lowest Patreon tier and they have over 45,000 members.

Which brings me to now. I've been thinking about it all day and comparing the reactions from these Redditors to the reactions people had when the Login Rewards stuff started. People who are very anti micro-transaction don't seem to realize that paying for custom content is, essentially, the same thing. On the subject of entitlement, just as I'm not entitled to a creator's CC they should not be entitled to my or anybody else's money. And here are my reasons:

It goes against a policy that, intentional or not, benefits the consumer over the corporation. We don't get many "wins" like that from giant companies like EA. Everything is expensive nowadays and there are players out there who only have the base game and whatever freebie DLCs have come out, relying on CC to make their games more fun. Overly restricting CC access to these players is essentially punishing them for being poor, and that's uncool.

Unless a piece is specifically being commissioned by someone, creating custom content for The Sims 4 is not a hardship on creators. Typically when people are paid to perform a task it's a specific task someone else wants them to perform. Many CC creations are things the creator themselves decided they wanted to make regardless of whether they expected anybody else would use it.

Paying for CC is not at all a guarantee of quality or originality. I know of at least one creator (who was part of the big CC doxxing scandal a few years ago) that got caught straight-up stealing meshes from another creator, and had the audacity to charge money for what they stole. I've also seen examples here on Simblr of paid content that doesn't actually work because the maker never tested it in-game and just went by what they could see in blender.

Some creators try to circumvent the policy by hiding their stuff behind ad links, where they put users at risk of infection by malicious content from less-than-savory advertisers.

There's no transparency with CC makers. Lots of people are anti-CF right now because of where they're funneling some of their profits but for all you know, the creator you paid for that content is doing the same thing and they don't have to tell you about it. Once that money leaves your account you have no idea what it's going towards.

I do think there are ethical ways to make money off your CC. Have a reasonable Early Access period of no more than a month at most. Offer commissions. Provide piecemeal content for free and charge for the option to download in bulk. Request tips. You can still profit from your creations without barring users who cannot afford to pay for them.

And some might say "you work for a website that charges Early Access for content!" and you're right. But here's the thing: none of that is my content. The little CC I have made is and will always be free. If it were up to me they wouldn't do Early Access at all, but everything goes free in 2-3 weeks anyway.

All of this is to say that players need to stop and really think about what they're contributing to when they side with extended paywallers. They violate the EULA, often expecting payment for content nobody asked for, with no quality control or safety measures in place for the consumer. It's not unreasonable to want to profit off of a hobby but you're no better than EA by barring your shit behind a perpetual paywall or locking it for an unreasonable amount of time. I'm not entitled to the things you make and you're not entitled to get paid for making content in a proprietary file type you didn't invent for a game you didn't create. And if you think EA doing micro-transactions is bad but paywalling CC content isn't, you need to rethink what you actually support.

Lastly I want to thank the CC creators out there who release their content for free. There are many insanely talented people out there creating amazing stuff for this stupid game that they don't charge for, and a lot of it is far better quality than some of the shit people expect you to give them money to access. I love that I can share some of these creators for my job, so more players can learn about their incredible work and enhance their games at the same time. YOU are the reason the CC community is thriving and YOU are the reason they game is still going strong.

[higurehige]

hi hello. been 5000 years since I have been tagged in much. uwu thank you @spadefish in return i slaaap uuuuh @duskdragonxiii @etakeh @vampiremasochist annnd @ponyacci (chose 2 of these based on activity feed but still important non-the-less! I hope you guys are all well even if we are but strangers in this wide blue world. Obvs feel free to ignore if you want to)

1. Are you named after anyone? A country singer. Course no one really thinks of her when they hear my name.

2. When was the last time you cried? Hrmmmm. Iunno probably 2 months ago over cirque du freak book series. I cry over books a lot.

3. Do you have kids? I am the kid. Do the 9 cats in my house count? On a serious note - no and I don't plan to. I have far too many problems and raising a kid would just wind up with me placing at least HALF of those problems on them. No. This curse ends with me. I don't think I'd even feel comfortable helping raise someone elses kid if we were in a relationship.

4. What sports do you play/have you played? I picked up archery recently! That's cool. I don't go as often as I should bc it's a bit expensive...but...yea! Archerys cool. Working on learning both recurve and compound. recurve for funsies and compound for hunting. (I just want an excuse to go sit out in the woods for hours on end doing fuck all and maybe, possibly bringing home some meat too)

5. Do you use sarcasm? Not often. I'm pretty blunt and no matter how hard I try to control myself I end up sounding like that one guy from guardians of the galaxy "Nothing goes over my head. I would catch it"

6. What is the first thing you notice about people? -shrug- Their face? I guess? Or whatever color they're wearing. Maybe their shoes. Idk...I'm terrible at facial recognition so I go ape trying to compensate for this.

7. What's your eye color? Green

8. Scary movies or happy endings? (both good but probably horror lean)

9. Any talents? Depends what you count as a talent. Born with? Insane observational skills? Uh I can eat actual rotten and moldy food and not get sick? Uuuuuuh. Hmmm....I can dilate my pupils at will? I can bend my legs freaky directions but not freaky enough to look like a contortionist. naturally good with animals I guess? Idk, nothing to write home about.

10. Where were you born? South Haven Michigan

11. What are your hobbies? Reading, drawing, writing (lol to both of these), gardening (i live in an apartment so I cant really do like...vegetable gardening but, I got plants! =3), studying various animals (and bugs), studying plants, photography, I come and go out of other hobbies, honestly. Adhd moments of "wow that looks cool" doing it once and never again....I'm trying, chief.

12. Do you have any pets? Avery (black cat), Diva and squeakers (twin solid gray cats), Baguatte (orange boi), Tiny man (gray stripy fella), Shaggy (not really MY cat, he's just some stray but....-sigh- he is sleeping in my house rn so I GUESS. (brother to Tiny man I think. very similar appearances). then there's weasle and skunk. (also cats) Do the assassin bugs i just bought for my garden count as pets? bc I have assassin bugs in my plants now =3

13. How tall are you? 5'4 ish and built like a brick.

14. Favorite subject in school? Didn't have a good time in school, so I hated all of it. Excelled at English and reading classes.

15. Dream job? Biology field. I want to get paid to study animal/insect behaviors and write papers on them. As it is I am just doing this shit for free lol

[eowynstwin]

I woke up, checked Tumblr, and now I want to kick all these Low Reading Comprehension anons in the face. What a start to the Saturday.

alright I have some Opinions too, if I may.

(1) creators are not talking about monetizing fanfiction. They're talking about monetizing THEIR SKILLS and time (and figuring it how to do so) .

(2) there's nothing wrong with someone monetizing their skills. People have to eat. There's also nothing wrong with creators suddenly realizing they can monetize something, and that changing their worldview. I had a similar realization in my career earlier when I realized cis white male coworkers were getting paid more than me. So actually in fact you know what would be even better to me... if EVERY DAY A CREATOR SUDDENLY REALIZED THEY CAN MONETIZE THEIR SKILL. This is the fandom equivalent of "talk to your coworkers about how much you all make".

(3) just because something is a hobby doesn't mean it can't or shouldn't be monetized. What kind of stupid cult/ victimizing/ keeping-people-down mentality is this. Hobbies are not mutually exclusive with making money (if a person does choose to do so). If you are a teenager and have been given this message, please start changing your worldview so that the world doesn't victimize you in the future. If you are an adult and you still believe this, girl I need you to reevaluate whether you could honestly be making your life easier/ better in some way.

(4) people who aren't creators need to honestly ask themselves why they're so against creators making money. Is it because they're afraid their free source of content will dry up? (**faux stage-whisper** YES) BTW I am not a creator myself.

In my opinion the bottom line is that there's a bunch of stingy people who don't create, don't spend time and energy creating, who have been sucking up content for free for years and years and ingrained it into fandom culture, and they're freaked out.

I'll address each point because I love that you numbered them, it makes my brain happy.

DEADASS

ALSO DEADASS. It is wild to me that artists are allowed to monetize and writers are not. We allow both, or we allow neither. Sidenote--I think screenarchers and gif-makers should be included in this list of fan creators who deserve to monetize.

I would also add, just because one creator decides to monetize does not mean all creators will decide to monetize. Not everyone will want to profit off of their work, either because they don't need to, they don't want to, or they are passionate about the accessibility of their work. Both types of creators--for free and for profit--have a place in fandom.

I suspect you're exactly right, but I must note, I do feel compassion for people who balk at the idea of monetized fan content, because the model we have for that is subscription-based. That is FAR more to ask of someone who might already be paying more than one subscription for entertainment. Unfortunately, it is also the most viable form of income for creatives. I'm not saying it's a perfect solution, but I am saying it would be the most effective one for creatives to be compensated fairly.