#i think i scared my roommate it made me so sad

[raddestrose]

I made these to cope

[lightblueminecraftorchid]

My roommate and I had a conversation last night and I keep rotating it in my brain and I Don’t Like It

[m3l0nfl0at]

tell your friends - t. kuroo

kuroo tetsurou x gn! reader ; secret relationship, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, relationship problems, misunderstanding, insecurity issues on kuroo’s side, happy ending, and readers issues with their parents pops up for a second, 3.2k words

summary: this is a mini fic based off of my fic here, just say yes but this can be read as a stand alone! after you and kuroo make it official, you decide to hide your relationship from your roommate kenma. what happens when kenma confronts you about how you’re acting around kuroo? (aka reader is conflicted about revealing their relationship to roommate!kenma)

melon’s recommended melody: coward - matt maltese

Ever since Kuroo and you got together, you both decided to keep your relationship a secret from your roommate, Kenma. Now, don’t get me wrong you love your roommate but knowing you’re dating his best friend obviously puts him in an uncomfortable situation between you two. So for now, every time Kuroo comes around to you and Kenma’s apartment you pretend like nothing between you ever happened. That big fight you and Kuroo had that caused you to sleep at Alisa’s for the weekend, poof, doesn’t exist. Kenma notices the weird shift in energy between you two lately, due to his observance but doesn’t want to comment just in case it’s still a touchy situation for you both. Something’s Kenma has noticed between you two includes you blushing more than ever at any mention of Kuroo, Alisa’s playful elbow nudge and teasing eyebrow waggle towards you when Kuroo comes over, and most importantly Kuroo’s silence around you. Kuroo wasn’t usually loud like their friend Bokuto but Kenma would never use the word quiet and Kuroo in a sentence to describe him.

It wasn’t until Kenma noticed your absence in the apartment getting more frequent, every weekend he would knock on your door to find it completely empty and cold. Kenma felt a bit sad, he didn’t want to keep you in an environment you didn’t want to stay in. However, he also felt conflicted. One part of him doesn't want his best friend to stop coming over completely but he also doesn’t want you to feel uncomfortable by his presence. Kenma got worried about you when the weekends of you missing turned into weeks, he knew he had to address this situation somehow without it turning into a dumpster fire of drama. Kenma needed you to know you were not only his roommate but you were also his friend first, he would never want to hurt you or make you feel unwanted. Midthought Kenma hears the door click, signaling that you made it home safely. Even though you think he’s probably asleep, he feels more awake than ever seeing you with a large duffel bag at the door.

“Can I ask where you’ve been?” Turning around you jump, met with Kenma’s striking cat-like eyes. “Ken, what’re you doing up? You scared the crap out of me!” Kenma notices you dodge the question, feeling more suspicious than ever. “So, I’m guessing I can’t ask where you’ve been?”, you feel sick to your stomach. You never wanted to lie to Kenma, you’re only doing this to protect him, right? “I was at Alisa’s, that’s why I have this big bag!”, you sputter out your words fast. Kenma lets his head hang, feeling his hair cover his face before stating the obvious. “You’ve been weird ever since you came back with Kuroo, is everything okay with you two?”, palms sweating, knee’s shaking, and fingers fidgeting as you respond. “Yeah, we’re fine. We’re two peas in a pod, me and that guy!”, you smile obnoxiously wide trying to sell your lie. Kenma laughs, seeing right through you, “If he’s intolerable, you know you can tell me right? You don’t have to run away, I miss you being here. I don’t know what happened to you two after that weekend but obviously it was bad.”

Tears well up in your eyes and for a moment you consider if you’re keeping this secret from him for a selfish reason or truly to protect him. “No, Kenma there’s nothing going on between Kuroo and I, okay? What happened between Kuroo and I that weekend means nothing, so don’t feel that you can’t invite him over. That’s your best friend, and it would kill me if I found out that I caused a rift between you two. I just stay away because he’s a teasing ass, he was like that even before we went away.” Kenma knows you’re being truthful due to you taking your time with your words wanting to convey the message clearly to him. “Well if you don’t mind, I’ll invite him over tomorrow. Is that okay with you?” You nod telling him that you had work tomorrow so you might not come home till later, leaving the conversation with the problem patched up.

The next day Kuroo ends up coming over to talk to Kenma. Various topics come up in the conversation from Kenma’s upcoming stream to how the volleyball season is going for their friends in the league. Yet Kuroo can’t help but notice your absence, questioning Kenma mid conversation. Kenma brushes off saying you had an impromptu day of work ahead of you, wanting to continue the conversation about his upcoming stream till Kuroo interrupts him yet again. “Haven’t they been working a lot more lately? I mean I get work is every day but even on weekends they’re gone? Are they not working themselves to the bone?” Kenma huffs feeling tension arise in the conversation at the mention of you, “Yeah well maybe you should talk to them about it. They were being super weird when I mentioned you yesterday.” Kenma lays himself flatly on the couch suddenly feeling fed up. “What do you mean weird? Everything between us is perfectly fine?” Kenma hears Kuroo’s tone of voice raise slightly at the end of his sentence.

He’s lying, Kenma repeats what he did with you, feline like stare aiming right at Kuroo. Hoping that he would break and tell him the whole story that you failed to tell him yesterday. “Ok well if you were both “perfectly fine” then why did they get all fidgety when I brought you up? I mean I believe them more than you. Since they said what happened between you two that weekend meant nothing but I know you’re both leaving something out.” Kuroo’s ears hear a high monotone pitch, speeding up Kenma’s last sentence and putting it on a constant loop in his head. Kuroo frantically gets up, it means nothing huh? Did you really think that way or were you just saying that to get Kenma off both of your guys’ back? Kuroo gets that you wanted to hide your relationship from Kenma but going to the extreme and saying the weeknd that cemented your relationship meant nothing? Why couldn’t you just tell him, was he embarrassing, did you think he wasn’t worthy enough to be your boyfriend? Kuroo needed to get out of your apartment fast, he needed to talk to you before his head started spinning with false truths.

“Kenma, I’ll talk to you later. I forgot I had a meeting today with MSBY. I’ll tell Shoyo you said hi.” Kuroo doesn’t even give Kenma a second to respond before going outside to get some fresh air. Immediately calling you up for an explanation, only to be met with your voicemail. “When you’re done with work can you head over to mine. I need to talk to you face to face, please.” Hearing Kuroo’s voicemail when you left work felt like you were listening to Kuroo having a panic attack. You knew you had to drop everything to make your way to him quickly before anything else bad happens to him. Shooting Kenma a text that you were going to run an errand before heading to the apartment today. Taking the train to Kuroo’s, you knock on his door opening up only to be met with Kuroo’s blank stare burning a hole into you. “Tetsu, what’s up? Are you okay, you sounded troubled on the phone?” You place your hands on his face, caressing it softly.

Your heart drops when Kuroo takes your hands off his face, “You can’t do this. You can’t run to me and call me sweet names then tell Kenma that what happened that weekend doesn’t matter to you. How long are you going to keep us a secret?” You were silenced knowing Kuroo was speaking the truth, “I’m sorry Kuroo, you’re right. It’s not fair of me to want to keep you a secret knowing that we’re together almost everyday.” Kuroo falls silent still feeling hurt by your actions deciding to let his insecurities take over, “Do you regret being with me?”. You quickly look up baffled, “Tetsu, no absolutely not! Everyday that I wake up to you I’m reminded of everything I did right in my life to be able to be with you. I’m so sorry Tetsu, from here on out I will prove through my actions and my words that you truly mean a lot to me.” You go up to Kuroo to hug him as tight as possible, not wanting to let go of him at this moment. Whispering sweet nothings in his ear to reassure him and ease all of his insecurities.

“I was scared to tell Kenma not because of you but because I’m scared something will change between Kenma and I or even worse something will change between Kenma and you. I would never forgive myself if I was the reason that something bad happened in your friendship. However, what I failed to realize is that by doing this I was causing a rift in our relationship and I’m truly sorry Kuroo. I’m scared of what’ll come after we tell Kenma about us but that doesn’t give me the right to dismiss your feelings and our relationship.” Kuroo stares at you before grabbing your hand, “Well whatever comes we’re going to go through it together, remember?” Kuroo grabs you before pulling you into the couch tickling the sides of your stomach, “Promise me you’ll tell me what’s going on in that big overthinking brain of yours next time.” Your laughter echoes throughout his living room before you shout that you promise in hopes that he’ll stop tickling you.

Kuroo’s reminded that this was just an obstacle in your relationship, the first of many but he’s glad to have a partner that’s as understanding as you. Just as you both stop laughing he’s met with a harsh knock, you both exchange glances at each other than at the door, questioning who it could be? “Kuroo, it’s the weekend you do not have a meeting today liar. I heard you laughing too, so I know you’re in there.” Hearing Kenma at the other end of the door Kuroo shoots you a glance before you grab his hands squeezing them, “In this together, remember?” You get up wanting to show Kuroo you were ready to take initiative for your relationship. Opening the door you greet a confused Kenma, “Hey Ken, what brings you here?”. Kenma’s brows furrow, unsure that you’re even real and standing in front of him right now, “That’s weird because I could ask you the same question? Is this the errand you were talking about?”

You open the door wider showing Kuroo sitting on the couch, Kuroo pats the cushion next to him to get Kenma to sit down. Kenma points at him then to you, still confused as to why you were in Kuroo’s apartment. “Come in Ken, we have some explaining to do.” you shift the conversation knowing that Kenma might need some time to process everything. Kenma sits slowly, not feeling the weird tension he’s felt these past couple of weeks between you and Kuroo. You take a seat right next to Kuroo, grabbing his hand to begin fidgeting with his fingers before he decides to intertwine them. “Ken, Kuroo and I are together, we’ve been together ever since that weekend we came back together.”, looking up you see Kenma’s eyes return back to their relaxed state. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” Kenma looks up at both of you, not showing any signs of anger more so confusion.

“To be honest Ken, I was the one who didn’t want to tell you. Kuroo just wanted to do what felt the most comfortable to me. I was scared things would get awkward between us or you two, I didn’t want anything to change.” Kenma notices how softly Kuroo looks at you while you explain your doubts, “I would never hold anything against you two, you’re both old enough to make decisions. As your friend, I’m happy for you both and thank you for telling me. Just next time please tell me sooner, I thought something terrible happened between you two and you were on the verge of moving out.” Kenma knows you always had a hard time opening up due to the problems your family put you through. Yet seeing Kuroo being next to you, caressing your hand making sure you felt safe while opening up hit a soft spot in his heart. Yeah, you guys were going to be together forever and Kenma would never doubt that. Kenma’s never seen Kuroo so soft with someone before, sure Kuroo was a patient person due to his teacher like qualities. However with you he was so careful like you were made out of glass. He looked at you like you were so beautiful yet something that could be broken if not taken care of properly. He knew if anyone was going to go above and beyond for you romantically it would be Kuroo, the guy’s been crazy about you ever since you moved in with Kenma.

Kenma remembers how you used to dislike Kuroo teasing you but what you didn’t know was that, that was how Kuroo showed his affection. You thought he liked Alisa for the longest time because he never teased her but Kenma always laughed at that conclusion. He never teased Alisa because he wasn’t comfortable enough with her, it was always going to be you. Everyone around you knew that one way or another you two would end up together and he’s glad you see it now too. “Is that why you’ve both been acting so weird? I knew something was off, you started blushing whenever Kuroo came over and Kuroo became super quiet anytime I mentioned you.” Kuroo and you looked away from each other feeling suddenly exposed by Kenma analyzing your offbeat yet longing behavior. “I mean Kuroo would never shut up anytime I mentioned you, talking about how cute you were, how you were so caring, and how amazing you handle yourself! So for him to shut up? You must have him in a chokehold.” Kuroo coughs loudly, “Okay that’s enough out of you Kenma. No need to mention the past.” You laugh gently nudging Kuroo aside, “No no, Kenma tell me more.”

Kenma takes a while to remember Kuroo’s strange behavior towards you, “Well after we moved in together Kuroo came over everyday for a week straight because he was trying to work himself up to talk to you. You should’ve seen him, he was practicing talking to you in our bathroom mirror but when you would come home he would suddenly forget everything he practiced.” Kenma and you giggle, Kenma remembering Kuroo’s fake confidence while Kuroo rolls his eyes. “Well that doesn’t matter because they’re mine now, isn’t that right sweetheart?” Kuroo kisses your cheek. Reminiscing on the sleepless nights where you helplessly consumed all of his thoughts, oh how lucky he was now that you’re actually his. Now, he could scream from the rooftops that you were together, post those cringey pictures on social media flaunting his relationship, and he would tell anyone how amazing his partner was to anyone who would be willing to listen.

Kenma grimaces because even though he was happy for you two oblivious idiots, it didn't mean he had to get used to you guys’ PDA. “Well Kuroo they aren’t innocent either.”, you look over at Kenma, laughing. “Ken no offense you have nothing on me, I just thought Kuroo was a teasing jerk.”, Kenma looks over at you while his face says really? “Ok then why would every time I mention Kuroo to you you would start stuttering your words? Or that one time we got drunk and we played truth or dare and you said you wanted to kiss Kuroo even if it was just once?” You rush over to Kenma covering his mouth, “How dare you? You said you would never tell that story!” Kuroo is the one laughing with Kenma, “Aww bunny, you always had a soft spot for me didn’t you? I knew you never hated my teasing you masochist.” You cover your face with your hands feeling more embarrassed than ever, “I hate you both now. You’ve both been demoted from best friend and boyfriend to roommate and boy I tolerate.”

“Kuroo, since I’ve been demoted to roommate, that reminds me. No, you can’t steal my roommate from me. When they’re gone for too long the apartment is eerie and cold.” You slightly pull back from your hands to face Kenma, “Ok Ken from now on, Kuroo will come to our apartment instead of me going to his, so now we’ll both be there.” Kenma nods feeling a bit better that you won’t be going missing from the apartment for so long. “Do I have any say in this?” Kuroo questions before you shake your head jokingly and begin to pet his head. Kuroo deflates knowing he was never going to win in an argument between his two biggest weaknesses, you and Kenma. “So you’re telling me every time you stayed at Alisa’s you were really at Kuroo’s?” Kenma's face scrunches in disgust. “Don’t think like that Ken, gross!” Kuroo, offended, places a hand on his chest. “Plus Ken, we were just going on date’s and having movie night. Nothing like that!”, you shake your hands while Kuroo smirks. “Yeah Kenma, most we did was make out.”, you smack Kuroo’s chest while Kenma makes a bleh noise.

“Well, I’m going to head back to the apartment. Are you guys coming over too?” Kenma looks at the both of you. “Yeah, well I have to grab a bag to stay the night but we’ll meet you there!” Kuroo gets up to go pack for the night ahead while you get up to go bid him farewell. As soon as you reach for the door Kenma stops you, “I’ve never seen Kuroo look at anyone the way he looks at you, you deserve each other.” Kenma closes the door while you stood starstruck, in awe that someone who’s known Kuroo for so long would say that he’s seeing something he’s never seen before. Just as you’re stuck in thought Kuroo comes up from behind you, “You ready baby?” You turn around grabbing Kuroo and pulling him into a deep kiss.

Kuroo pulls back, “Well I was only gone for a couple of minutes but hello to you too, I guess.” Kuroo smirks as you send him a wide smile, “I love you Tetsu, I love you so much.”. Kuroo pulls back shocked that you said you loved him first, stuttering he finds himself speechless at your bold actions. “Close your mouth Tetsu, now let’s go before Kenma leaves us.”, you start taking off but feel a strong tug pulling you back. “I love you too bunny. Now let’s go.” Kuroo pecks your lips sweetly making sure to get the last word just to tease you, that is how he shows his affection after all. Both of you leaving towards your apartment feeling better than when you arrived, you loved Kuroo and that will never have to be kept a secret ever again.

divider credit to @/vase-of-lilies, @/bunnysrph, and @/thecutestgrotto

@m3l0nfl0at on tumblr. All Rights Reserved. Do not steal, copy, or translate any of my works.

[that-basic-simp]

Wasted

Mizu x Fem!Reader CW: Overuse of alcohol WC: 1.4k+ A/N: Uses he/him and she/her pronouns. Depends on who is around Mizu.

"I thought you didn't drink," Akemi said to Mizu.

Her arms were folded against one another and her forehead was resting on her forearms.

"I don't," she hiccuped.

"Then why do it?" I asked, nudging Mizu with a chopstick.

"Stop that, Y/N," she slurred.

"Just making sure you're alive."

"I am," she breathed in deeply, exhaling loudly. "Slowly dying and regretting this decision."

"Looks like you found something you could beat Mizu at," I looked over at Taigen.

"He should know better to not challenge me," Taigen smirked.

Mizu, without raising her head, raised her hand and flipped him off.

"I'm going to have to drag you out of here again, aren't I?"

"I'm sorry, Y/N," she said.

"It's fine. Not like we're not dating or anything."

Her head lifted up and she squinted at me, "We're dating?"

"Yes," I said smiling, seeing her flushed face. It was always cute whenever her face is either pink or red. It's especially cute with her Rudolph nose on cold days.

"How did I land someone like you?"

"I was about to ask the same question," Taigen smirked once more at me.

I shot him a glare and grabbed underneath Mizu's arm, hoisting her up.

"Thanks for the night, guys," I waved to Akemi and Taigen.

Walking out of the bar, I made sure one of Mizu's arms was wrapped around my shoulders while I held her by the belt she was wearing.

"Come on, Mizu. I'm not strong like you, but you need to help me out here."

"I'm trying," she hiccuped once more.

"Should I call Ringo?"

"N-No," she shook her head. "It's not like our apartment is far."

"I know. But I hate walking all that way when you're barely standing. You need to know your limits when it comes to alcohol. And Taigen."

"He just wants me drunk so he can fight me. That's the only way he can really win and he knows it."

"Then why do it?"

"Because I know you'll step in and prevent it."

"That is if I am with you. I can't help you out if I am not there, Mizu."

"I know."

I hoisted her up a bit before walking towards the apartment. We lived together with Ringo, as they are roommates. I know Ringo is not going to enjoy this. Especially since this is the second time she has gotten drunk like this within the week. Reaching the apartment building, I grabbed my key and headed inside, making my way towards the elevator. There was no way I could carry Mizu up the stairs in the current state she was in. She could barely lift her feet. Standing by the elevator doors, they opened up and I stepped in, pressing the button.

"Y/N?" Mizu asked.

"Yes, Mizu?"

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For getting like this," she said, tears dripping onto the floor.

The worst thing about Mizu being drunk was she got sad. She was a sad drunk. I think that's why she doesn't touch alcohol in the first place. Unlike Taigen who gets loud and celebrates, Mizu's past comes back to her and she begins to do things that I worry about. Such as mumbling about how she was seen as a monster and how she would be better off not here. It scared me, but I'd always keep a close eye on her.

"Mizu, there's nothing to be sorry about."

"But you have to take care of me when I get like this. Make sure I don't do anything bad to myself."

"I'm always going to look after you, Mizu. No matter what state you're in."

"I don't deserve you."

"But you do," I said as the elevator doors opened.

Stumbling down the hall, I found our door and unlocked it, announcing myself to Ringo who was in the kitchen.

"Drunk again?" he asked.

"Unfortunately," I said, tossing my keys onto the counter.

"I'll start getting something made for her hangover."

"Thanks, Ringo," I walked over to the couch.

Removing her arm, I slowly lowered her to the couch and she laid down, her eyes blinking like a frog's.

"Get some rest, Mizu," I said, rubbing my hand up and down her arm, kissing her forehead.

"You're pretty," she smiled at me.

"So are you," I said and walked towards Ringo.

"Was he planning on fighting Mizu again?" Ringo asked as I helped him.

"Yes."

"That's the second time this week."

"Well, Mizu did kind of hand his ass back to him in their last sparring match."

"Rightfully so. Mizu is better than Taigen will ever be."

"But Taigen can't let that go. That there is someone out there who is better than him."

"Do you think it's because they once knew each other?"

"Maybe. Either way, he needs to let go of his resentment towards Mizu. Even if he does act friendly around her, I know the minute they're alone he would take any chance to rip out Mizu's throat."

"You do a lot for her," Ringo said.

"So do you."

"But you're her significant other."

"Yeah," I said.

"Do you find it tiring?"

"No," I said without hesitation. "I love Mizu. And Mizu, while she has trouble showing love at times, she does love me."

Ringo handed me a bowl once he had finished. Walking over to where Mizu was, I knelt down beside her. Shaking her awake slightly, her eyes blinked open.

"Here, drink this," I handed her the bowl.

Lightly placing her lips to the rim, the broth slipped down her throat. She lurched forward and spit it out, coughing slightly.

"Too much?" I asked.

She shook her head, "H-Hot."

"Sorry, Mizu."

I waited a few minutes until we repeated it. This time it was a bit colder for her. Once she finished, I walked over to the kitchen and placed the bowl in the sink, since Ringo had gone to bed. Grabbing a towel, I cleaned up the mess as Mizu was laying on her back now.

"Feeling any better?"

"Kind of," she mumbled.

Once I had finished cleaning up, I walked over to her, sitting on the edge of the couch. Tears were filling her eyes and they slowly rolled down her cheeks. Reaching over, I wiped a few of them away.

"Why do you do this?"

"Do what?"

"Take care of me?"

"Because I love you, Mizu."

"Why?"

"Why? Why do I love you?"

"Yeah. Sometimes I ask why you love me. How you could have fallen in love with someone like me."

"Well, at first it was your eyes that drew me in. Then it was your strong and sometimes ill mannered temper. Then it was your strength. Both physically and mentally. Y-You're someone I always wanted to be, Mizu."

"A monster?"

"In control of your fate."

"How am I in control?"

"You could have let revenge overtake you when Taigen was trying to be friendly towards you. I know you have a bit of a rivalry going on, but it makes you stronger. It just shows you're more in control of your emotions and everything. Mizu," I reached down and intertwined my hand with hers. "I love you for who you are, not what you are."

"You love a monster, Y/N."

"I love you, Mizu. I don't care if you view yourself as a monster, because you're not one to me. You're not one to Ringo. You're Mizu to us."

She let out a sigh, a small smile tugging at her lips as she turned and faced me.

"I love you, Y/N."

"I love you, too, Mizu," I leaned down and pressed a kiss to her cheek. "Let's get you to bed."

I helped her get up, since she was still a bit hungover. We didn't even take one step when she tripped, causing me to fall and she fell on top of me.

"M-Mizu," I tried to get her up, but she was passed out.

I let out a sigh, trying to think about how to get out of this situation. Mizu was heavy, in terms of muscle mass, and I couldn't dead lift her even if I tried. Sighing, I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around her, holding her tight.

"Goodnight, Mizu."

In the morning, I blinked my eyes open and found Mizu resting on my chest, looking up at me, a smirk on her face.

"Morning to you, too, Mizu," I said.

"Morning," she said.

"What's with the smirk on your face?"

"Nothing," she said.

"Mizu," I said sternly.

"Alright, fine. I was awake when I fell on you last night."

"You were?!"

"Yep."

"How come you didn't get up? I slept terribly on the ground with you on top of me."

"Figured it was cute," she smirked.

"Ha-ha," I said, shoving her off of me.

"Hey!"

"Maybe next time I'll let Taigen beat the shit out of you."

"You'd never let that happen," Mizu stood up, stumbling slightly.

"You never know," I said.

"I know you too well, Y/N. The minute he'd come too close to me while I am drunk, you're getting me out of there."

"Next time I won't. Maybe you'll learn your lesson," I smiled cheekily at her.

"Asshole," she said in a flat tone.

"Dipshit," I said.

We both smiled at one another, knowing it was a term of endearment for us.

[trashmouth-richie]

for the hih bonus features can we get eddie x tooty first fight after everything happened 🥹💗

anon🫡🫡 i have been wanting to write something like this for such a long time, i hope you like it. ❤️

masterlist — one year of hih anniversary

you weren’t used to this. 

  the doting, the constant reassurance to see if you were okay. more doting. always a calm voice. Eddie cared—loved you bigger than anyone ever has, and you loved him equally as much.

  but something dragged, crawled against your skin in piercing talons when he treated you as if you were helpless, as if you weren’t capable of doing things on your own. 

  it came out in a snap. a bitchy tone that eddie hadn’t heard since the early days of being your roommate. 

  it startled him. and he froze, not sure if you were serious. so he looked at you with hurt eyes. “what?”

  “i can cut my own fucking steak, eddie.” 

  steve stopped with his lips pressed to his wine glass, scared to move, eyes wide bracing for the car crash that would take place across from the dining room table. 

  eddie sets the knife down, slides your plate back over to you, “just trying to be nice, baby.” 

  with a huff, and a screeching scratch of the chair carving the wood floor under your weight, you throw the cloth napkin onto the porcelain plate, leaving the room in a quick stomp. 

  steve whistles low, “i know those stomps, you’re in the dog house man,” he takes a generous sip of his wine, wiping his face with the back of his hand, “sleep on the pullout in the basement tonight… it’s not too uncomfortable.” 

  eddie rolls his eyes, throwing a dinner roll into steve’s chest, “you’re not helping dickwad.” 

  “easy” steve tries, “better go find out what you did wrong.” 

  “fuck.”

  he finds you fuming, wearing a path in the carpet in your shared room at steve’s, tears welled but not ready to fall. 

  “babe?” eddie asks, shutting the door quietly, unthreading his chain wallet from his jeans setting it on the dresser, “are you… okay?”

  “jesus christ eddie!” you snap, “i’m fine— more than fine!” 

  eddie looks at you blankly, “you don’t look fine.” 

  “oh yeah? of course when it comes to me, you have all the answers, huh?”  

  “the fuck is that supposed to mean?” 

  im okay eddie! i don’t need you to constantly ask if im feeling okay, or if im comfortable or if i need anything!” 

  “thats what boyfriends do, babe.” 

  “No— no no no no!” you say pulling at your hair, frustrated beyond recognition, angry tears falling, “you treat me like i’m made of glass, like one step the wrong way and i’ll break! ever since i’ve gotten out of the hospital you’ve treated me like a fucking porcelain doll!” 

  “you almost died, remember that?” eddie says defensively, peering down at you, “i’m never going to forgive myself, or forget what happened, tooty—” his voice breaks but he swallows it down. 

  “we can’t keep living in the past eddie! it happened, it’s over with, i’m not a fucking little kid!” 

  he’s yelling now, voice angry and filled with sad rage, “i won’t forget! every single day— every time i look at you i think of what would have happened if i was there… how i could have stopped him!” he runs a hand through his hair in defeat, bottom lip trembling.

   “Fuck, i’m sorry for coddling you, baby, really i am— but right now.. the only thing— the only fucking thing— that keeps me from breaking down and wondering what a loaded gun tastes like—is taking care of you.”

  he grunts at the weight of you flying into him, holding him tight and sobbing into his chest, he kisses your head, his own cheeks wet, as he whispers, “ i’m just trying to makeup for what I couldn’t do that night, baby. ” 

  you kiss him deep smashing your lips to his, peppering i’m sorry’s all over his skin, pulling him onto the bed with you. 

  he’s silent when he cries, sniffling every once in a while as you comb through his hair, his body on yours. 

  you’ve been rubbing slow circles into his scalp. and his tears turn to small kisses

  “it wasn’t your fault eddie, it never was,” you whisper lifting his head in your hands and looking him in the eyes, “i love you.” 

  his face is red, eyelids swollen, “how? how can you love me after that?” 

  you press your lips to his, speaking the only truth that kept you from screaming into the void from wanting to let the grief swallow you whole,  “because you showed up.” 

[pinkthrone445]

hi my love! I hope you are well. <3

can I suggest a smut + fluff where the reader is insecure about some scars she has on her body, and the poor girl is scared that Melissa won't find her pretty? And when Mel finds out about this, does she show how beautiful and precious Y/N is to her?

Thanks for the sweet request! I'm good and I hope you´re too. I also hope that you like this💕

🎄Happy holidays yall! Smutsanta it's bringing hot requests for naughty people and your names are on my naughty list! Enjoy!🎄

~Let me remind you~

Pairing:Melissa Schemmenti x Reader

Gender: Fluff - Smut ⚠️

Warnlings : (+18) strong words, fingering, vulgar language. Age gap(legal)

Summary:The thought of being intimate with the redhead was scary and your insecurities played tricks on you, but Mel takes care of chasing away all your fears.

Tired, that's how you felt. Your mind anywhere but where you should be paying attention, on the professor who was talking in front of you explaining the important topics that would go into your next exam. In your mind, the last conversation with your girlfriend, Melissa, kept playing

-"I can't believe that this is your last exam and you'll already be an elementary school teacher, and it's so good that you're already assured of a position at Abbott when you leave here from college. We should celebrate this! What do you think about renting a cabin for the two of us for the weekend? We could have a relaxing soak in a hot tub, go to a restaurant, spend a lot of time together..."-Spending a lot of time together, that played over and over in your head. You and Melissa had been dating for a couple of months, because of her schedule and yours, you had never been together too much time like a whole weekend, a weekend dedicated just to you and her. While you were excited to spend so much time with her, it also made you nervous to think about how intimate it would be. The times you and Mel had been together before, it had been in a hurry, a quick visit to the dorm room at the university, where she didn't have time to completely undress you and only took off your pants to put her hand inside to make you cum before your roommate arrived, or a quick visits to her school, where you went to her car to do it, where there wasn't much room and she couldn't see you well.

But this time would be different, Melissa would have all the time and space in the world to be with you and see your body, see every inch of your body. See every imperfection on your body. A sigh left your lips, you felt sad just imagining her seeing you completely naked, and if she didn't like it? What if she regretted being with you? What if she was disgusted? It would be hard to go to the same school to work if you knew she was disgusted by you or if she couldn't stand to see you.

The sound of your teacher ending class and your classmates getting up to leave, took you out of your thoughts. After taking your things, you went back to your room. A couple of hours later, your cell phone rang, it was a message from Melissa, to know if you would go out together, to book the cabin. Although you weighed in on a thousand excuses, none of them carried enough weight to tell her that you wouldn't go, so you ended up accepting your girlfriend's invitation.

As the weekend approached, your nerves grew bigger and bigger, the knot in your stomach hurt more, and you had more and more doubts about whether you would be able to do so.

The day arrived and Melissa excitedly picked you up on campus, helped you carry your bag to the car and let you choose the playlist while she drove. When you arrived at the cabin, it was a beautiful and very decorated place, it was a romantic and delicate house, so romantic that the only thing it did was make your nerves grow.

Melissa had made many plans to make the most of the weekend, romantic dinners, evening walks on the beach, brought movies to watch, and asked to be left with groceries at the cabin so she could cook your favorite meal for you. But your mind only traveled to the same moment, the moment when you're in bed together and she sees you completely naked. You tried to avoid it by doing it somewhere else where she couldn't completely see you. When you were in the restaurant having dinner, you proposed to go to the bathroom because you knew that they would have little room and it would have to be fast, but the redhead denied saying that she felt too full to move. When you walked along the beach you proposed it to her again, since there was little light and she couldn't see you very well, but Mel shook her head again, saying how uncomfortable it was after having to scoop out the sand that sticks to every inch of your body. With no other ideas, you sighed and didn't keep trying.

Arriving home, while Mel was putting down her coat, you went upstairs to the room planning what to do, but you were startled when you felt the redhead's hands on your waist as she kissed your shoulders

-"Don't panic, it's just me... Let me tell you, that dress looks beautiful on you and I'm so happy we were able to go out together, it feels nice to spend time with you without hurries..."-She spoke in a soft, loving voice, and you smiled

-"You look beautiful too... Thank you for everything you planned..."-You replied smiling but a sigh left your lips and the redhead looked at you worriedly

-"Are you okay hon?"-Mel asked turning to see you face to face and you nodded not very convinced, your eyes were a little watery from the fear you had and that did not go unnoticed by her, it only worried her more and she hugged you tightly-"hey hey, What's going on? You know you can trust me"

-"I know, it's just something very stupid..."-You whispered and she frowned

-"It's not a stupid thing if it makes you want to cry"-Mel kissed your forehead and you sighed hiding in her neck

-"Can I ask you something?"- You whispered against her neck and she nodded, gently massaging your back-"I know this weekend is just for us, to enjoy and have a good time, but when we do, sex I mean, can it be with the lights off?"-Your voice was just a whisper, like the voice of a frightened child, or like when you try to scream in a dream and your voice doesn't come out. The redhead looked at you confused, stopping her caresses

-"Why are you asking for that hon? It's not the first time we'll do it, plus if you don't want to do it you could have told me, you know I would never force you to do anything, it just confuses me that you were quite insistent on doing it in different places earlier tonight...If it's because you're not waxed, I've told you before that I don't care"-Melissa looked at you trying to figure out the reason and you sighed

-"It's not that... The previous times we've done it, you haven't seen me, you've only touched me, you never took all my clothes off... And I'm embarrassed... I'm ashamed and scared that now that you'll have time to take a good look at me, you won't like what you see"-You responded by avoiding her gaze and she gently grabbed your cheeks to get you to pay attention to her

-"You have a perfect body, what are you talking about?..."- she asked with concern in her voice

-"It's not perfect... You only say that because you haven't seen it, but it's full of marks and some scars... My previous boyfriends and friends made it very clear to me how ugly my body looks with that..."You answered and now it was her turn to sigh shaking her head

-"My love... No one it's perfect, we all have our flaws, I mean, look at how many wrinkles I have or how the skin on my arms hangs a little... And let's not start talking about how the years had left my crotch... But, when we are with the right person, it doesn't matter anymore how ugly we see ourselves, we can be perfect in someone else's eyes. The things you are ashamed of, will only become reasons to love yourself more in the eyes of the right person. Where you see scars that embarrass you, I see reminders of how strong you are, it should never be a reason to feel ashamed, but to feel proud. The marks on your body show life experiences, no one would ever complain about the words and marks we find written on the pages of books that tell us a story, no one should ever complain about the marks on your skin that tell your story. Your body is yours and you shouldn't let anyone say anything bad about it, nor believe them when they do... But when you have doubts and don't feel pretty, I'll be there reminding you every day how perfect you are. Okay?"-Melissa spoke in a soft voice and you nodded still hidden in her neck. She carefully grabbed your blouse-" I want to see you... Can I take off your blouse?"-She asked and you nodded again, pulling back a little so that she could take it off-" Can I take your pants off?"-she asked again and you nodded, letting her do it. Mel very carefully and delicately removed your bra, knelt carefully at your feet, and also removed your underwear. A shiver ran through your body and you tried to cover yourself with your hands when she stood up in front of you, looking at you very intensely, but the redhead didn't let you. She took your hands gently, kissed your knuckles and then took your waist carefully, you thought maybe she would start kissing you, but instead, she carefully turned you around making you stand in front of a very large mirror in the room. Seeing yourself so exposed only made you embarrassed and you looked down. Mel clung closer to you, hugging you from behind and resting her head on your shoulder, with her hand she grabbed your chin and made you look in the mirror-"Look at yourself sweetheart, there's nothing wrong with you"-Her fingertips rested gently on your scars, running very gently over them-"Nothing wrong with you, just reasons to love you more... Do you believe me?"-whispered against your ear and kissed your neck

-"I'm trying"-You responded smiling when you felt her kisses

-"I'll kiss you until you believe me"-She replied and you felt how her hands caressed your waist and legs, her mouth leaving kisses and marks on your skin. The whole situation was very intimate, very intoxicating, her perfume and her soft skin surrounding you, her hands running over your body, her soft words and caresses in places that even you wouldn't touch. The shame you had turned into desire, a desire to continue listening to her sweet voice, a desire to continue to feel her caresses, a desire to be in her presence forever. But even so, you were still finding it hard to look at yourself in the mirror. Melissa's hands gently moved to your crotch, parting your folds with one of her fingers, while her other hand massaged one of your breasts, that by the desire and the moment, your nipples were very stiff and hard, very sensitive to her caresses.

A groan left your lips and you closed your eyes resting your head on her shoulder, but that made her stop all her movements. Confused, you opened your eyes and saw her seriousness in the reflection of the mirror

-"I want you to see yourself, or I'll stop my movements... I want you to see how perfect you are and get used to seeing yourself the way you are, I want you to see how I touch you, I want you to see yourself react to my caresses, I want you to see yourself until the moment you come on my fingers"-Mel bit your ear and you let it out a quiet cry. When she saw that you were still looking at yourself in the mirror, she resumed her movements. Her index finger began to caress your sex gently in circles, slowly but firmly. Your hips began to move involuntarily against her hand, wanting to keep up with her, but she pulled you closer to her body. Her crotch brushing against your ass only made you desperate and move more against her. The redhead moaned in your ear and her movements picked up faster. You were overwhelmed by the delicacy of the moment, how could she say such sweet words while her fingers opened and touched you like that. Her touch felt hot and addictive, like the warmth of a campfire when you're cold, her heart beating on your back, heaving and uncontrolled like yours, her breath hot against your neck, her lips giving little kisses and bites on your skin, one of her hands holding you against her crotch while the other hand caressed your button desperately. Feeling and seeing all that in the mirror, made your body start to spasm. But seeing how your breasts began to bounce and your hips moved uncontrollably against her hand made you orgasm on the redhead's fingers. A moan in unison left your lips and hers, with her free hand she took your jaw and kissed you gently while her fingers were still making lazy circles over you clit.

With your body tired and agitated, you turned around hugging her and hiding in her neck again, not out of embarrassment this time, but out of lack of strength. Mel kissed your head and carefully guided you to the bed, still hugging you.

After a couple more rounds and sweet words, you fell asleep on her chest, both of you completely naked and your legs intertwined.

The next day, you woke up when the sun had already risen a couple of hours ago, you were confused by not seeing Mel next to you, but when you heard the noises from the kitchen, you knew that she was surely making breakfast. After stretching a little, you got up to look for something to wear, but you stopped in front of the mirror looking at your completely naked body with a smile, you were full of delicate and soft marks, but especially, Mel had taken it upon herself to kiss and highlight with marks all the contour of your scars, with your fingertips you ran your scars smiling and then you got dressed.

Going down to the dining room, you smiled at all the food on the table and the amazing smell, carefully approached the redhead and hugged her

-"Good morning beautiful, how did you sleep?"-she whispered against your hair and then kissed you

-"So good... I wish this weekend would never end, I don't want to forget everything that happened last night... I appreciate it so much..."-You whispered. Melissa walked away from you and turned on the stereo, smiling as you looked at her in confusion

-"You know, I read an article that said that when we associate a song with a moment, it makes it stick more etched in our memory, I'll put a song, so that every time you hear it or every time you doubt how beautiful you are, you remember this moment, how much I love you and how perfect you are"-She smiled before putting on the song and starting to sing it for you as she hugged you.

(This is the song that Mel it's singing, I dedicate to all the soft souls out there❤️)

[kalechipswithasideofkale]

my adrenaline has gone down finally so i feel i can give my thoughts on this season

no more faks! no more! please!

i think the series is taking inspiration from different art movements and genres. season one - surrealism?, season two - modernism?, season three - baroque? im not well versed on this stuff but i definitely noticed they use different forms of art to make the seasons feel different from one another

piggybacking off the earlier bulletin; i think thats also why this season feels like all flash and no substance. whatever movement or era they decided to do with season three is very ou la la oui oui i zam an artist bonjour /nm its very different from the movements they went with in the past seasons. this one feels serious and fancy smancy

i still think they’re going to go through with sydcarmy and this season just solidifies it. syd and carmy are severly mentally ill with issues they need to work out. they dont handle stress and expectations well if at all.

i think some of the things being said by the characters are being taken at face value specifically carmy calling claire peace. i dont think the writers are writing claire to be a source of peace for carmy; hes just so in denial and confused about his emotions he knows he supposed to feel peace from claire but cant figure out why he doesnt

i missed marcus sweeps and tina in this season so much. and syd! i was excited for sweeps to go to wine school only for it to be a one off thing. the tina episode was good but thats the only thing i can think of from the top of my head that she stood out in. marcus’ mom died? but it feels like she didnt die at all? like the weight of his moms death isnt being felt in his character and that made me really sad. i wanted a little more with syd and marcus with their moms :/

im not angry at carmy somehow? i just feel this deep sadness because he is so unlike himself. my initial frustrations with the season made it hard for me to look at his character. now that ive calmed down, he just makes me sad. like thinking about him makes me feel like a wet sausage dude he needs serious help and im scared he’s gonna do something very bad in this next season/part

i was really hoping there would be more parallels between new york carmy and current syd. they might explore it in season 4 and i really hope they do!

where tf was everyone else in the emergency room and why was it the two faks. there is no dissection in the world that will make me okay with those losers being there im sawry

syd being the first person sugar called and claire being the last mhm yup 🙂‍↕️

a good chunk of claire and carmys scenes being muted or cool colors once again!

RICHIE AND HIS DAUGHTER AA!! i wish they had an entire episode dedicated to them theyre so cute!

theres something to be said about loneliness and isolation this season? again i would need to rewatch the season. something something carmy pushing syd away something something nat fearing giving birth because of her mom something something syd having a breakdown and isolating herself from the rest of the fam something something

pete ❤️

chris you have reached ur limit on white male characters enough is enough theres NO MORE ROOM

ngl i actually liked seeing john cena on my screen yall pls

why are we so close to everyones face i zont like zat at all

i thought they were going to bring louis back and got so excited!!! BRING BACK LOUIS

they wrap up the claire storyline by season 4 or part three?? whatever theyre doing idk

LUCA!!!!!!

as much one sided beef i have with jlc she delivered i crode very hard

backseating the characters of color is very lame and bogus! i hated it! what happened to tinas friends she met at school? does ebra not have family? syd and her dad? marcus and his roommate? so many characters they could introduce from sydney marcus tina ebra fuck even angel and manny but they insist on introducing characters that have ties to the berzattos. i hate it! i really do!

syds apartment? where did you go fren….

i wish they were more artsy fartsy with carmys internal struggles give me cringe film student vibes please ill take anything

FUCK CICERO he didnt do anything but PISS ME OFF >:(

why didnt they have syd work out the economics (or whatever tf that computer dude did do). didnt she do something like that in season one? i guess since cicero called him it makes sense

richie and nat are so adorable i love them!!!!

overall pretty mediocre season. it was okay for a show like the bear. i don’t agree with having an entire season dedicated to build up! or atleast in the way they’ve done it in season 3. season 1 was a prologue for the entire show yet it still felt like a complete season. alot of the things that went down in season three either could’ve been compressed into a shorter span of time or they could’ve gotten more episodes (as if its that easy lol but the pacing wouldn’t have suffered as much if the season was longer). um decent season? i dont hate it! i dont love it either. like i said it feels soulless and maybe thats the intention? idk man 😔

i will most definitely be seated for season four TRUST

[flooffybits]

Such A Cliché

A soulmate is a person's other half, so the pain that one feels is a pain shared with the other. However, when circumstances aren't quite agreeable, hurting your soulmate is what you end up doing anyway.

Word count: 6.2k

Warnings: getting burned, yn is an ass, yoohyeon is scared of you, sad jiu, hospitals

A/N: lmao should have been done when I told you guys about it but I wanted to add more but here you go! also please tell me if i made a mistake, i had asked a friend what is unnie in chinese because i thought it would be nicer since dongie is yn's younger sister here

☕buy me a coffee☕

Gahyeon is understandably the last to get out of bed by the time morning comes. She knows that Dong had checked in on her a while ago, but she was too sleepy to even try opening her eyes, and instead batted the older woman’s hand away, grumbling about another five minutes.

So when she finally does decide to get up and get ready, the maknae was confused to see her roommate fussing around the dorm, perfectly dressed like always. “Are you heading out, unnie?” She asked while taking a seat, welcoming the quick peck Siyeon pressed to her cheek as a good morning greeting.

The Chinese woman hummed, smiling as she grabbed her bag and then began to put her hair up into a messy bun. “I’m picking my sister up from the airport today. I thought I told you last night?”

She did. Gahyeon was just too sleepy to retain everything the older woman told her.

“I don’t know why you expect her to remember after just waking up.” Bora teases, also dressed up and ready to accompany the latter. Though her comment did earn a pout from the maknae as she glared at the dancer. “I remember! I’m just still half asleep.” She argues, earning a laugh from the woman next to her before Siyeon pulls her to a hug. “Oh, no need to be so grumpy.” She cooed and Minji finally exited her room in time to see the pair putting their shoes on.

“Oh, you’re leaving already?” She questioned, smiling when she saw the now awake maknae. “Remember to be careful, alright?” She reminds them and Bora grins while giving her a thumbs up. “Like I would let anything happen to my princess.” She says with a puff of her chest and Dong only rolled her eyes in good nature before taking her girlfriend’s hand and tugged. “Let’s go, I don’t want to have her wait too long.”

Bora allowed herself to be pulled out of the dorm, waving goodbye while Dong shouted a quick ‘be right back’.

Once the door closed behind the pair, Gahyeon turned to the leader with her brows pinched together. “I forgot that Y/n unnie was coming.” She suddenly said out loud and Siyeon chuckled while she sipped her coffee. “We figured.”

Still, Gahyeon couldn’t wipe the frown off her face as she sank further in Siyeon’s arms. “Is she going to stay here?” She mumbled and Minji sent her a sympathetic look. “I don’t think so. But Dongie wants us all to hang out.” She explains, making the maknae grimace. “Come on, I know that she isn’t too fond of us, but let’s do it for Dongie.” Siyeon coaxes her before Yubin and Yoohyeon finally come to join them in the main room.

“Dong unnie and Sua unnie already left?” Yubin noted and Minji hummed in confirmation. “I don’t know how Sua unnie is going to adjust, now that Y/n unnie is moving here.” Yoohyeon muttered before Minji gave her a meaningful look. “I know that we don’t get along with her too well, but who knows? Maybe getting to see her often now could help.”

“I hope so.”

..

“Is it obvious that I’m nervous?” Bora blurted out as she scanned the crowded building. She’s been to the airport numerous times and she’s not really antsy with having this many people around her. But it was the fact that she would be seeing you again that had her fidgeting in place.

Dong gave her hand a reassuring squeeze while smiling under her mask. “Relax, unnie. It’s just my sister.” That didn’t help the dancer’s nerves at all. “It’s your sister, the same one who does not like us, by the way.” She reminds and Dong resisted the urge to sigh, her smile slipping away as she looked away.

“She’s just… not adjusted yet. My parents are warming up to me being away and being an idol but Y/n, you have to understand that we were inseparable as kids.” She explained, causing Bora’s lips to purse when she felt the tension her girlfriend was feeling through their link.

She hated that she had to be put in the middle of it all.

You weren’t a bad person, you were just indifferent because of the fact that you had your only sibling stripped away from you at such a young age. You had grown up together until she moved to study in South Korea and eventually became a trainee, going against your parents’ wishes, and leaving you feeling abandoned.

You tried to be supportive of her, but everytime you would see her with her group members, it always felt like you were being reminded of how you had lost your sister to seven people you didn’t know.

It was childish, you had to admit, but you missed her dearly. Dong was your best friend and you protected her at every given moment. So, after a promotion at work, you were given the opportunity to move to a different country. And seeing that South Korea was among your options, your answer was clear as day.

“There she is.”

Bora didn't want to bring the topic up again, knowing how it was a sensitive subject. So she bears the usual grin she always wore before waving her hand in an exaggerated manner, enough for you, and a handful of strangers, to notice the dancer.

You suppress the urge to roll your eyes as you head over, forcing a smile for your sister, and you notice as she lets go of her soulmate's hand to welcome you into a warm hug.

"I can't believe you're actually here." You hear her voice muffled against your shoulder, and your smile becomes more genuine as you pull back to give her a proper once over. "I can't either, but I'm sure you're gonna get sick of my face one of these days now." You joke and Bora smiles from the side, witnessing your true self around your younger sister.

Though as your eyes drifted to her, the dancer smiled and her wave was more tame this time around. "It's been a while. I hope your flight was fine." She attempts and you nod stiffly, expression now blank that Dong has to nudge you. "It was alright, though I think my legs would appreciate the walk."

She's a little surprised, considering you were a little more civil compared to your first meeting years ago. But she takes it either way.

"Well, let's get you to your apartment. I want to hear all about the promotion." Your sister pipes up as she takes your arm and Bora trails after you as you speak, respecting both of your privacy.

Though she does notice how you keep a slow pace to make sure that she isn't too far behind.

..

"You mean she's actually civil, now?" Siyeon asks in disbelief as she sets her cup aside. Her eyes were so wide, it looked like they were about to pop out of their sockets.

"I was expecting her to ignore me the whole time. But she was trying." Bora explained, her face showing how she was also having troubles coming to terms with your new personality. "Then again, you are Dongie's soulmate. It's possible that she's still not too happy with the rest of us but tolerates you." Yoohyeon piped up and Bora turned to her. "I know, I thought of that, too."

Currently, Dong decided to spend a few nights with you to help you adjust, which Minji allowed.

"Dongdong actually told me that they had a serious talk when she went back home." The dancer stated while leaning against Yubin's arm. "But at least she doesn't resent you. She's trying for Dong unnie's sake."

"Dami is right. I'm sure none of us want to have Dongie pick sides. I'd probably do the same if my brother ever finds his soulmate." The leader commented and Gahyeon crinkled her nose. "Unless you find yours first." She teased, making the eldest playfully roll her eyes. "Very funny, but you know I'm not rushing into finding them."

Siyeon hums, already knowing the leader's stance after all these years. "Wouldn't it be funny if your soulmate ended up being Y/n?" Yoohyeon made a sound of protest, looking scandalized as Gahyeon laughed. "Don't say that! I can't imagine Jiu unnie with someone like Y/n unnie."

Bora rolled her eyes this time. "She isn't that bad. We don't even know what she's like aside from that one time and all the stories Dongie told us." She defended and Yubin shrugged her shoulders as she laced her fingers under her chin. "That's true, but all of unnie's stories are different from what Y/n unnie showed us."

"She's a protective older sister who had to let go of her only sibling. I'm sure you can understand how painful that must have been."

No one says anything to counter that. Even when Gahyeon was an only child, she's grown to love all the girls as though they were her own family, so she can't imagine having any of them taken away from her.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, Bora spoke. "Dongie said Y/n was offering dinner for tomorrow." She looked up from her phone, the question in her eyes and Minji struggled a little to find an answer before she took a quick look around.

If Bora said you were fine, then maybe it would be alright.

"Sure. Tell them we'll meet them there."

Maybe that was her mistake.

Minji isn’t sure why, but given that you would be around more often now, she realized that you had to have some sort of civil relationship for your sister’s sake. Dong was as precious to you as she was to all of them. With you much closer now, there was no doubt that you would be around them, whether you liked it or not.

When dinner came around, Dong was leading the group through the restaurant, giving her name before they were brought to the table you had reserved for everyone, though you were nowhere in sight.

“I thought you said she was already here?” Yoohyeon asks cautiously, taking a seat and then looking around the fancy restaurant. “She sure does know how to go all out.” Siyeon comments when she looks at the various decorations and the expensive looking furniture.

Dong laughs at that, but a voice beats her into responding. “Work hard and you get rewarded, I suppose.” All heads turn to you when you finally join them and all but your sister and her soulmate straighten at your appearance.

With a nod, you take a seat beside the pair and then eye each girl. “I’ve already asked Dongie what you girls would like and ordered ahead. Though if you want to add anything, feel free to ask.” You explain, gesturing to the food that was already present on the table and answering Yubin’s silent question.

Minji shifts a little, the tension suffocating, before she decides to speak up. “It’s nice to see you again. I hope your trip was fine.” She says carefully, a kind smile on her features as you raise your eyes to meet hers. “It was alright.” Was your curt reply and Dong rolled her eyes before giving you a nudge on the side.

You give your sister a small glare before clearing your throat. “Right. Well, there was something I’ve been meaning to say.” You tell them and all eyes are on you, all of them listening very carefully while you keep a calm look on your face. “I am aware that my actions towards you all have been very childish and unpleasant.” You begin, and they aren’t sure if you notice the silent exchange they send each other or just chose to ignore it. “I didn’t make the effort to get to know any of you and merely aimed my anger and selfishness towards you all. For that, I’d like to properly apologize.”

The table is quiet for a while, the six girls looking at you in surprise and disbelief, and while you didn’t show it, you were a little nervous.

Thankfully, Yubin manages to recover before offering you a smile. “I understand why you acted the way you did, and it’s okay. I’m sure I would feel the same if I were in your shoes.”  She assures and it’s like a chain reaction before everyone starts talking. “We get it, really. Family is really important to you.” Yoohyeon is the one to say, and while it was different for her, she does understand being separated from a loved one.

Slowly, the tension starts to melt away. And while it was still a little awkward, the girls found a little bit of comfort in your presence the longer you all spoke to one another. Much like Dong when she first arrived in South Korea, you weren’t too talkative.

You were still quietly gauging each of the girls’ personalities, though you knew enough about Bora to know she would take care of your sister, soulmate or not.

They all cared for one another and you could see that your little sister was, in fact, happy where she was. This was her home away from home, and you didn’t have the heart to keep blaming these girls when they made sure she was loved and taken care of.

Resigning to that fact, you decided that maybe this was for the best. You couldn’t cling to your childhood forever and it was probably time to move on.

While you're so stuck in thought, you failed to catch how Yoohyeon had accidentally knocked a bowl with her hand, effectively spilling its contents. Unfortunately, the soup in it was still hot and you were quick to wince when it came in contact with your skin.

What no one was also expecting though, was the yelp that came from across your seat. Minji had clutched her left hand in an attempt to soothe the sudden ache and Dong looked more than surprised as you cradled the exact same hand.

“Unnie, are you alright?" Gahyeon’s question caught your ears and Siyeon’s eyes widened as both you and the leader answered at the same time.

“I'm okay."

The table grew silent as the two of you finally looked up, Minji’s face growing pale when she realized what was happening. She had kept her soulmate link open, and by doing so led her connection to experience the same pain her soulmate was experiencing.

That soulmate… was you.

“I'm, uh, going to ask for more napkins." Yubin quietly muttered as she swiftly left the table and Gahyeon squirmed as her eyes shifted from one person to another. The silence was deafening at this point and Dong wasn't sure how to proceed as she looked towards Bora.

The dancer looked worried above all else, but the disbelief still showed. “I think-”

"Excuse me.”

Dong made a sound of protest as she watched you get up and leave the table. "Jie!” With a quick nod from her girlfriend, your sister quickly followed after you while the rest of the girls did their best to process what just transpired.

"So Jiu unnie’s soulmate…" 

“I can't believe you jinxed it!" Yoohyeon squeaked while Siyeon tended to the leader’s hand, making sure it didn't hurt too much. “Oh god, Jiu unnie is… no, I can't even think about it.” Bora rolled her eyes at the maknae’s antics before she took the napkins from Yubin’s hands and began to wipe away the spilled soup. “Stop acting like Y/n’s some sort of disease."

“But she hates us!" Yoohyeon protested. “How can she be Jiu unnie’s soulmate?" Minji, who had been quiet the whole time, finally snaps out of her daze before looking around to assess what was happening.

She took note of the absence of you and Dong, so she's quickly on her feet and catching everyone off guard. “Unnie?" 

“Where are they?" She almost feels panicked at the thought that you’d left, but Siyeon gently tugs her back down to sit. “Unnie, I think you need to let them talk and let Y/n calm down." She says softly and the leader purses her lips together. "But I… we…"

Bora frowns at her friend before shaking her head. “Just let them talk for now, okay?" And as much as Minji wants to go and chase after you right now, she reluctantly obliged, sitting stiffly in her seat while the others did their best to try and distract her.

It takes around ten minutes before Dong is walking back, a regretful look on her face, and Minji’s shoulders tense up when she doesn't see you anywhere. “Unnie went home." Oh.

Instantly, there's sorrow in the leader's chest with knowing that her soulmate intentionally chose to leave after finding out who she was. While you may not be on the best of terms, she at least hoped that you would open up to the idea and talk to her. Since you were now living in South Korea, she thought this might be your chance to repair the relationship that you had and maybe work on your bond.

But that didn't seem like the case.

“The food’s been paid for but… do you guys still want to stay?” Dong asks with a frown and Minji looks at her with pleading eyes. "Did she leave already?” She can't help asking and Dong gives her a look, analyzing her friend, and she's not sure whether or not she wants to answer.

But she knows Minji.

"She's waiting for her ride.”

That's all it takes for the leader to shoot out of her seat and out of the restaurant in hopes of catching you before your ride gets there. While Yoohyeon and Gahyeon wanted to protest, their respective partners both stopped them.

By the time Minji’s out the door, she feels the chill bite at her skin for a split second before it's mellowed down. Her heart skips a beat at the thought but pushes it down as she focuses on the task at hand. It doesn't take her long to find you though because there's only a few people there. She sees the way you rub your burnt hand and her own skin tingles at the slight pain that lingered.

"Can we talk?”

“You and I have no business with each other that would require-”

“You know that’s not true… not anymore at least.” You were stubborn, Minji knew that. But she wasn’t about to give up on a chance that allowed her to connect with someone on such a deeper level that even her words were no longer needed.

But you were having none of it. Soulmates be damned. You were not about to do that, not with her.

“It’s a stupid connection. It doesn’t mean anything to me.” You turn to give her a sharp look. “It shouldn’t mean anything to you either.” All words die in her throat when a car finally pulls up and you open the door, stepping inside without saying anything more than you already have.

Minji all but watches as you slip from her fingers and disappear into the night, leaving her with an aching heart and shattered hope.

..

“Unnie, are you sure?” Dong pants when she hunches over, hands on her knees while she tries to catch her breath and Minji puts away her nearly empty water bottle, blinking up at the rest of her team with an apologetic look on her face. “I’m sorry, I just keep messing up this one part.” She says regretfully and Bora gives her a look that basically screams “shut up or I just might strangle you”.

“It’s only just a little bit more practice and you girls will be free to go so don’t worry.” Sooyeon promises them and Yubin shakes her head with a grin. “It’s okay, unnie. We can handle it.” However, no one is able to pick up on the wince that the leader shows after finally stretching her arms and legs. Siyeon had only spared her a questioning stare before she’s being bothered by the overgrown puppy of the group as Bora marches in their direction.

“You alright to keep going?” Sooyeon asks her when she sees the leader staring, but Minji is quick to snap out of her thoughts and flashes a grin, nodding her head and calling everyone to attention.

The pain lingers, but she manages to push through until maybe the week after.

She quietly asked Siyeon to get her some hot packs to put on the sore area along with her legs one night before she’s just about ready to call it quits.

“Handong?”

The familiar voice meets everyone’s ears when the door opens and a dancer is quick to point to your sister, who spins around in surprise. “Jie jie! What are you doing here?” She asks when she walks over. “Actually, how did you get here?” She adds with her brows pinched together and you frown before handing her the plastic bag you were carrying. “I have a phone, you idiot.”

Bora walks over to join you, given that you were a little more welcoming of her now that you were living here and managed to get to know her on the few instances Dong had forced you to spend time together. “What’s that you got there?” She inquires while your sister finally looks at the contents of the bag, her face lighting up when she sees a few familiar names inside. “Aww! You didn’t have to come here and bring us food!” She laughed when she noticed the embarrassment on your face.

Minji blanches at the sight of you and basically shrinks next to the maknae who looks worriedly at her. “We can go out if you want, unnie.” She whispers, but the eldest only offers her a smile before shaking her head, letting out a shaky breath. “It’s okay.”

“Anyway, shouldn’t you be at work right now?” Dong asks when Bora takes the bag to set aside, telling everyone that you had gotten something for them, too. “I clocked out early. I wasn’t feeling too good.” You mumble before your sister raises a brow. “So you decided to come here instead of going home and resting?”

“I wanted to be more involved in your life.”

Your sister pauses at your words before a smile blooms across her face and a poke landed on your cheek. “You’re getting soft.” She teased and you crinkle your nose while swatting her hand away. “Shut up and go back to practice. Everyone is looking at us.”

“You love me.”

“Unfortunately.”

With a laugh, Dong skips over to join the rest of her friends while you take a seat on one of the chairs to watch them do their work. While you were someone who worked in the world of business, you were honest when you told your sister that you wished to be more involved. So you pay attention to their choreography with rapt attention.

And while you don’t intend on doing so, your eyes gravitate towards the woman who was, in your opinion, a little more sluggish than she should be. It caused your brows to raise before pain flared throughout the entirety of your left side. Immediately, your hand reaches to try and soothe it, but the pain is persistent so you’re quick to look at the raven haired woman who is trying her best to power through whatever pain she was dealing with without realizing that she still kept her soulmate link open.

Looks like you were more tired than you let on because you did the same.

However, when you began to feel the sudden influx of her pain, your frown only deepened before you decided to slowly absorb whatever it was she was feeling, feeling a little relieved when she starts to move a lot more comfortably than when you arrived.

It’s like that for the rest of their practice as you quietly watched and accepted your soulmate’s discomfort without her knowledge.

“Will you be coming over tonight?” Dong asks when she comes back to you, candy in hand, and you shake your head, wincing when the nausea hits harder. “I just wanted to watch.” She scoffs before lightly punching your arm and you almost curse at how much that hurt. “You could have just gone ahead, dummy.”

Your brows knit together and at this point, Minji was already looking at you from where she stood. “I just felt like it. Now, shut up.” You grumble before swiftly walking out of the room and your sister laughs as she chases after you. “Jie jie, come on!” But your only goal right now was to escape and hide the fact that you had used your soulmate link to help Minji despite how you’ve been ignoring her.

Hell, you’ve been making her feel like utter shit with the way you talked to her since finding out she was your soulmate, but you had no idea that she was dealing with something like this.

“Be sure to eat when you get to your dorm and don’t stay up late.” You instruct as you reach your car, a pout forming on the latter’s lips as she crosses her arms. “Since when did you turn into mom?” She asks and you give her a look before getting inside. “I mean it, Dongdong.”

Sighing, she nods her head before giving you a quick hug and then shutting your door. “I will. Get some rest, okay? You look like you’re about to pass out or something.”

Shooting her a smile, you nod to the rest of the girls over her shoulder, eyes meeting Minji’s before you finally bid them all a goodnight and drive off.

As soon as you’re out of sight, Dong just stands there, but her smile is nowhere in sight as she lowers her hand and frowns in the direction you took. “Dongie?” Bora is quick to her side, noticing the sudden shift in her mood before her girlfriend shook her head. “I’ll check on unnie tomorrow.” Is all she says before she’s leading the two of them to the van that was waiting for them.

..

While you did avoid your soulmate like the plague, you do show up to a handful of their practices ever since then. Minji obviously noticed due to how her eyes would immediately gravitate towards you whenever you entered the room. She didn't mean to, but knowing that you were her soulmate had shifted something within her and she's a little frustrated knowing how your relationship was.

But since the first visit, Minji did notice how she was slowly feeling better. And at one point she did believe that she was finally well rested without knowing that you were the actual reason that she was better. Maybe the only time that she got a hunch was when you didn't come to their practice and she could feel the same throb on her side as before you had come to visit them.

“Y/n isn't here today?" Bora voiced out one time and Minji looked up to see your sister shaking her head in response. “She hasn't been answering any of my texts either so I think she's busy at work.” Dong tells them and Minji can't help but frown.

While you were a busy person, you always had time to text your sister on your whereabouts even though you’ve been living in South Korea for a month now.

"Doesn't unnie usually still text you though?” Yubin voices out Minji’s original thoughts. Even though she's admittedly still intimidated by your presence, Yoohyeon did show concern when she notices a difference in your usual routine. “The last message she sent me was three hours ago. She should be done with work by now.” Dong mumbles while she tries to send you another text. However when there’s still no response from you, she purses her lips before finally dialing your number.

“Maybe she’s just asleep, unnie.”

“She would have told me that she was headed home at least." Dong bites her lip as she anxiously waits for you to pick up the phone. However as soon as the line connects, she breathes out a heavy sigh of relief. “Yah! What are you doing? I've been trying to contact you-"

Everyone watches as the resident cat went quiet, her expression hardening as she listened to whoever seemed to have your phone at the moment. “What room?" Is all they hear before she's thanking the person and then quickly reaching for her bag.

“Unnie, I need to go to the hospital."

Bora and Minji’s faces were both of surprise and shock, but the former says nothing more as she follows after her soulmate while the leader and the rest of the members hurried after them. "Y/n unnie is at the hospital?” Yoohyeon asks while she did her best to avoid tripping over her own feet. "What happened?”

"That's what I want to know, too.”

As everyone huddled inside the car, Dong stares at her phone with Bora gently coaxing her into talking to her. Meanwhile, Minji’s mind can't help but run around at the possible reasons as to why you would be in the hospital.

For some reason it saddens her how she can't even feel anything that you may be feeling at the moment and all she can think of is how you've cut your connection off. It stings, but she refuses to be selfish right now and focuses on keeping her member calm and the rest in check.

As soon as they get to the hospital, Dong is the first one out and is quickly asking for directions to your room. She has no room for anything else at the moment. She just needed to see where you were. So she skips the elevator and opts for the stairs, taking two steps at a time and ignoring the protests of her roommate and soulmate.

“Uh, do you know where we're going?" Yubin can't help but question. Still no response. “Dongie, slow down or you might trip." Siyeon warns, only for the said female to abruptly turn down the next corridor, causing Yoohyeon to nearly crash into the dancer’s back.

Your sister would apologize to them later, probably. Right now, she was more concerned about your condition. When her eyes spotted the room number you were in, she quickly reached for the door before pushing it open.

“Jie jie?"

Inside, she immediately finds you sitting on the hospital bed. She's quick to give you a once over before she notices the bags under your eyes and that your skin lacks color. Her brows pinch together in worry as she comes closer and you turn your head when you hear their group.

“Dongie, what are you doing here?" Minji frowns at the question, but Dong merely scoffs as she crosses her arms across her chest. “What am I doing here? What happened to you?" She all but seethes. “You weren't answering any of my texts and when I call you, it's someone from work telling me that you're at the hospital?" Your frown deepens when the guilt stems in your chest the more your sister speaks. “I told you not to overwork yourself."

The rest of the girls are a little surprised, but then again this was her sister. It was understandable that she was upset right now.

“Dongdong, calm down." Minji gently soothes as Bora grabs her soulmate’s hand. “I know you're upset, but Y/n needs to rest right now, okay?" You watch as the leader tries to coax your sister but the glare she has is still fixed on your face as she waits for an explanation.

“It's okay." You finally interrupt. Looking around, you breathe out a sigh before gesturing for everyone to take a seat. “I suppose you'll all be here for a while so please have a seat somewhere."

“Jie-"

“I'm sorry." You cut your sister off with a heartfelt apology. “I didn't mean to worry you. In fact, I didn't think this would happen in the first place." You tell her, leaning back against the bed. “What exactly happened then?”

You're quiet for a moment, carefully considering whether or not to tell the truth with all of her members present. But then again, you were seeing them in a completely different light especially after you've been experiencing how exhausted Minji’s felt ever since you arrived.

"Jiu-ssi.”

Everyone looked surprised when you called their leader, but your soulmate only looked at you as your eyes met hers. "You haven't been feeling anything for a while, have you?” It was a simple question, but Gahyeon only frowned at the implication. "Why are you asking Jiu unnie?” But Yubin had placed a hand on the maknae’s knee while Minji shifted in her seat. "Not… really. I only got a little sore after some of our practices but they pretty much went away after."

She doesn't understand why this was relevant. You'd severed your connection with her ever since you found out she was your soulmate. It was why she couldn't feel an ounce of the pain you were feeling.

“As it turns out, the pain that you've been feeling for the past month has only been accumulating."

What?

“You were experiencing some pain on your sides the day I first visited Dongie at your company. I noticed that you weren't exactly comfortable when you were dancing so I tried something.” Wait, did that mean… “When I had reopened our soulmate bond, I was able to take that pain away, along with every other discomfort you had been feeling at the time." 

Minji’s eyes widened at the admission and her back grew stiff. “I also noticed how the pain was becoming more frequent so I opted to just leave the link open." You then shake your head when you remember where you were. “Unfortunately, it looks like I've overestimated myself.”

“But I thought…”

"How come unnie never felt anything from you?” Siyeon asks when she notices that the leader was unable to find her voice. "A soulmate link can be made one way. So I opted to keep her out while letting her pain in.” Dong took your hand in hers when she took the seat closest to the bed. “You should know how exhausting that can be. You should have said something.” Your sister scolds and you only smile while squeezing her hand. "After what I said to her…" You tear your eyes away from your sister to look at your soulmate. “I thought maybe this was my way of possibly apologizing." 

Minji couldn’t believe her ears, but at the same time, she was deeply moved with how you had decided to take all of her pain away even when you had told her that it all meant nothing to you. All this time she believed that you had no care for her and yet… you had been taking care of her without her knowledge.

“I know that I overreacted when I found out, but the truth is that I’m afraid of what this link may bring me.” You finally admit with a heavy breath. “I didn’t want to have another thing possibly be taken from me again, so I opted to just push you away rather than accept you and the bond that we have.”

Sensing the sensitivity of the conversation, Dong quickly gestured for everyone to get out of the room. And while Yoohyeon wanted to protest, her soulmate placed a hand over her mouth and merely dragged her outside. Bora sent her best friend a look while Dong gave you a smile before they both closed the door, leaving the two of you alone.

“I’m sorry, Jiu-ssi. I know that you’ve been miserable since we last spoke but I guess I was too prideful to admit that I was in the wrong in the first place.” You tell her and Minji forced herself to stand back up before slowly approaching your bed.

“I… can’t say that it was okay but… I do understand where you’re coming from.” She finally says while gripping her own hands. “Your sister left, you were hurt. So now that there’s something else to lose, you’re afraid.” She had hit a nail on that one as you dropped your gaze down to your lap and Minji felt her heart skip as she stopped at the edge of your hospital bed. “But Y/n… you need to know that I don’t give up on the things that matter to me.”

You lift your head in surprise to see her already staring at you, a warm look on her face as she assesses you and you wonder deep down why she isn’t screaming at you, cursing you for hurting her. “How can you possibly forgive me?” It comes out of your mouth before you can even think, and she only gives you a smile.

“I’d like to think that I’m not like most people. And if you give me a chance… maybe we can get to know more about each other's soulmate better?”

[fuxuannie]

could you do headcanons where the reader is ganke's cousin and miles fell first but she fell harder? tysm if you will do it<3

╭₊˚ ๑︰he fell first, she fell harder ♡

:★: relationship : miles morales x fem reader

:★: warnings : none, crack & fluff! no atsv spoilers

:★: a/n : suopr old req that i figured i should finish (ㅅ´ ˘ `) huhuoa RAAAGH pls dont be scared of me someone said im kind of intimidating PLZ im just a little guy

"What did I tell you to not do??"

"Fall inlove with your cousin.."

"What did you do???"

"Fall inlove with your cousin..."

"Morales I'm gonna KILL YOU."

I think that it was a sort of love at first sight moment, you walked through that door and his jaw was on the FLOOR. You were so pretty, you immediately smiled and waved at him once you noticed his presence and he was PANICKING in his boots trying to hold himself together.

You and Miles were mostly together when Ganke first brought you over, (of course with some complaining here and there from your favorite cousin) and Miles had the time of his life watching you rant about the smallest things as if they made a big impact in your life.

"POCKETS, MILES! MY DRESS HAS POCKETS!!"

He loved seeing you almost every other day, and after you left the dorm room of him and Ganke, the door closing reveals said roommate standing behind it with crossed arms. "How long have you been standing there..?" Miles raised a brow. "Not important."

"I can tell you've taken a liking to her."

"Have you ever heard of keeping a secret??"

"I don't plan on telling her, infact I wanna help you out. They've been single for so long that it's kinda sad." Ganke shrugged unapologetically as Miles blinked at him in disbelief. "You talk about your cousins like that?"

"Nope, just her."

And so the next 5 hours was Ganke telling Miles all about what you liked, going into detail about the endless date ideas you once rambled to him out of boredom and admittedly he took note of for times like this. Your favorite food, perfumes, type of gifts.. everything was discussed in the span of 5 hours.

If you can imagine Miles taking down notes with visual drawings thats because he can and WILL!! He's a dedicated man, just for you. <3

So for the past year, he's been trying to get you to fall for him. All through little hangouts, messages, calls and the sort.. Blissfully unaware that you had already liked him, just waiting for him to ask you out.

Miles' little mastermind plan was just an addon plus, you had feelings for him after a few weeks of knowing each other. Sure, it started off as a fun little 'happy crush' type of thing till you were up at night staring at your ceiling thinking about Miles' smile till 3AM.

You weren't going to ask first nor make the first move, but you didn't know how much longer you could pretend a mere brush of your shoulder against his doesn't have you thinking about him 24/7.

[strawberrykisseslia]

"I wish you were a boy..."

Vanessa Shelly x F! reader

Content: Angst, falling in love with a straight girl, no happy ending, slight homophobia?

A/N: idk why but I just love angst, also I cried while making this bc it reminded of myself when I fell in love with a straight girl 👍🏻 (canon event)

A/N#2: Should I write a second part for this? :3 I'm not sure what to put in it though but tell me! ♡

A/N#3: I apologize with the Christmas special one tomorrow or on sunday. ♡

Words count: 674

Since high school you have been best friends with Vanessa and since then you were roommats. She trusted you more than anyone else and she told you about her horrible past.

As time went by you started to catch some feelings for her. You were scared cause even yourself didn't understand these feelings and you would've never guessed it wouldve been love. You were always there for each other, you always found time for her and she did the same thing. You though these were just some normal feelings and you were just comfortable around her but no, the thing you felt wad indeed love.

~~

It was late at night. You were still up, sitting on the couch with a glass of your favorite wine in your hand. It was quite, you only heard your thoughts and the only thing you were thinking about was you and Vanessa. Was this actually love that you were feeling? Should you tell her? What her reaction would be? The questions that were racing in your mind but... firstly, did you accept yourself that you might be in love with her? However, you knew she liked boys, she had one or two boyfriends during highschool and you always had that weird jealous in you. No, you were not jealous of Vanessa that she gets boys, you were jealous of the boys that they get Vanessa's attention the way you didn't.

As you were deepening in your thoughts you heard the front door open and saw Vanessa with a tired smile on her face. "Hey." She greeted you as she took her jacket off. She made her way to the kitchen and saw that there were some dinner left overs. You also went into the kitchen and smiled at her. "How's your day?" You took a sip of your wine. "Tiring." She chuckled. "Yours?" You nodded. "Honestly, same." You leaned against the counter and took a deep sigh. "Do you want some wine?" She shook her head and chuckled. "Why are you even drinking?" She asked with some light laughter. "Helps me gets some things off my mind." She looked at you curiously. "Really? What have you been thinking about?" She took a step closer to you. You shook your head. "Nothing special really." A small smile grew on your face. She got even closer to you and so you did. You looked down at her lips and leaned even closer. Your lips brushes against each others and you decided to let your heart control you and pressed your lips against hers... she didn't pull away to your surprise and kissed you back.

After some seconds she was the first to pull away and looked at you with slight shock. You felt worry hit you slowly. "I-I gotta go." She sounded frustrated and quickly wanted to rash away. You grabbed her arm and with shaky voice spoke up. "V-Vanessa? Are you alright?" She looked down before her with shame. "I can't do this." You were confused and it was noticable in your voice. "What.? Can't do what...?" "This!." She turned back and snapped at you. You flinched slightly at her loud tone, she was never like this before. "This is not right!. We can't do this!" You let her wrist go and looked at with confusion and sadness. "L-Look... I'm sorry, okay?" She sighed and lowered her tone. She took a step closer to you but you stepped back. She sighed heavily again. She turned around and started to walk to her room. She faced you was once again and broke the silence. "I wish you were a boy..."

You felt tears in your eyes and gasped. What was she saying?.. You couldn't believe her. "You know what... you might be right, I can't do this either.." Your voice was quite and shaky. You turned around and walked towards your room. Vanessa wanted to reach out but didn't want to or what to say so she just let you go.

Maybe she let you go forever.

[devilfic]

❝right place, right time❞

II. of niceties and awkward second meetings.

parts: previously / next plot: bruce makes an offer you actually can refuse... at first.pairing: battinson!bruce wayne x gn!reader. cw: surgeon!reader, secret identities, slow burn, bruce wayne is still a masochist, bruce wayne is ALSO reckless :). words: 3.5k. edited: 2/28/24.

After every surgery—good or not so good—when you’re rinsing off and getting patted on the back for a job well done, you elect to feel hope. And then you hurry to lock yourself in your office and try to catch your breath.

The weight of a life on your hands follows you from room to room, from work to bed, from daydreams to night terrors. Even when it’s good, it rarely ever feels good. Questions bloat your brain: what if there’s something you missed? What if, despite it all, it’s not enough? Is the blood on your hands, then? Is the life yours to save or the patient’s to endure?

There was no solid answer. All you could do was wait for full recovery and try not to let it consume you.

Maybe tonight was a night for Thai. Maybe you’d call up your old roommates and get together at your place. Maybe you could finally tell them about the night Batman broke into your house, and how you stitched up his bullet wound, and then fell asleep 20 feet away because you had to meet Bruce fucking Wayne the very next morning and God help you if you embarrassed your boss by being late. So far, the only person who’d heard about it was the old lady who lived in the apartment below you, and all she’d done is pray for you.

You’d assured her you were fine, but she’d insisted on anointing your doors and windows before you left for work. The “demon of Gotham” she’d called him, herald of vengeance. The fact that you’d saved his life meant that you’d be spared in the reckoning... or whatever little old ladies learned in Sunday school.

Whatever she believed, you had no reason to think you’d be struck by lightning twice. Batman would not be returning to your home any time soon.

The thought almost made you sad.

There was no reason for him to return. Batman probably had a team of doctors waiting to tend to him if his arsenal of weaponry was any indicator of wealth. He wasn’t just any ol’ run of the mill vigilante, that was for certain.

You were just a blip. A freak accident. A glitch in the matrix. The chance that you’d been in the right place at the right time when Batman needed you most was just that: chance. And you were no gambler, but you could bet on your license that that man would never darken your doorstep (or window sill) again.

Maybe you’d stop by the liquor store too on your way home.

You’re rounding the corner when you collide with your boss, frantic as usual.

“Oh! Finally, there you are,” he grips your upper arms like a vice, eyes frenzied as they look you over, “why do you look like that?”

You imagine he’s referencing the dew of sweat on your skin and your scrubs out of whack. “I finished an operation fifteen minutes ago.” You answer, unimpressed. “I was just heading back to my office.”

Your attempt to sidestep him—to free yourself of the shackles that were his hands—proves useless. He spins to keep you in his grip, “You can’t! Not yet.”

“Why not?”

“You have a visitor.”

You frown, “A patient? No one’s on my schedule.”

“I’d like you to make an exception for this one.” His voice drops to a whisper. He readjusts your shirt sleeves as if dressing you up, prettying you for the highest bidder, and that sets you on edge, “Just trust me.”

You almost (almost) flinch away when he pushes you to your office door—now, a looming boulder instead of a gateway to your safe haven. Before you can even ask just who is waiting for you on the other side, your boss is rushing off down the hallway to do God knows what.

As if disarming a bomb, you slowly open the door to peek inside.

It scares the both of you, clearly, if the wide-eyed look he gives you says anything.

It’s like it hasn’t been a week since you’d last seen him. Bruce Wayne is wearing what looks like the same suit he’d worn last time, tie and collar stiff, jacket open underneath his billowy coat. But he looks awkward standing in your modest little office. He looks like he’s not supposed to be here, or at least not without his right hand man and the fanfare to follow.

He keeps his hands in front of him to show you he means no harm, “Your boss said it was okay to wait here for you.”

You’re still bracing yourself against the door, trying to figure out what he could possibly be doing in your office, what he’d possibly be waiting around for you for.

You think about the last time you’d seen him, when you’d grabbed him out of nowhere and his companion (Alfred, was it?) looked like he would have no problem breaking your spine if you dared manhandle him again. Oh God, he wasn’t going to sue, was he?

You swallow, “Uh, right. Can I help you?”

Bruce straightens up. His hands fall to his sides. You search his face to predict his next move but you’re puzzled to find that he’s just as clueless as you.

You didn’t know much about Bruce Wayne, that much had been established. What little you did know was some amorphous figure of nobility, the “prince of Gotham” as the press dubbed him.

Yet, standing before you in your simple little office, Bruce Wayne feels less like nobility and more like a stranger in foreign land. He keeps his hands in front of him and you’re able to make out purple dusting his knuckles. Bruised. Not bloody. Not recently. This piques your interest.

“How long have you been a surgeon?” Is his first question.

You slink into the room and debate on shutting the door, deciding to leave it open a crack; whether it is so you can escape or for him to feel unwelcome, you’re not entirely sure. “Four years. Not including the 12 years of school and residency.”

Bruce perks up just a tad to your bewilderment. “Did you study here in Gotham?”

“I did. I considered Metropolis.”

“What changed your mind?”

“Cheaper tuition.”

“Do you like it here in Gotham?”

“I don’t mean to be rude, Mr. Wayne,” your voice comes out clipped—nervous—all the same, “I just got out of a surgery and I didn’t even know you’d be here so I haven’t got the faintest clue what you want-”

“I’m sorry.” Bruce apologizes, “I can come back another time.”

Come back? You assess his face once more, double checking for any sign of where this conversation is going, “Come back for what?”

For the first time since you entered the room, Bruce takes a step forward. A few, actually, ‘til he’s standing only a foot away and his whole deer-in-headlights deal is on full display. “A proposition.” Your head swims with big ideas. You’re thankful you’re still standing still. “I’d like to hire you.”

If Em could see you, she’d be laughing her head off at the look on your face. The emotions you're hit with are akin to blunt force trauma.

Bruce catches onto your distress and begins to explain, glancing away from your eyes to give you room to breathe, “Due to the nature of my job and the... events that transpired last November, I’m careful about my position in the public eye. I’ve decided to have a doctor on call, someone I can rely on in the event that something drastic happens again. It would be more menial work, but you would, of course, be greatly compensated: full benefits, triple your salary here. Nothing is out of the question.”

As the last word melts in the air, he finally locks eyes with you. Less deer-in-headlights now, more spotlight. More "I eagerly await your response".

You couldn’t even fathom the price point: triple your salary? You already made good money here, any more would be excessive. And then there’s the reality of the situation. You would be employed, solely, by Bruce Wayne. At his beck and call—perhaps moved into a nicer place within chauffeur distance of Wayne Tower—the support staff of the upper echelon.

Your mom wouldn’t bug you about moving out of Gotham ever again.

This all felt too good to be true. So good that your intuitive pendulum swung violently in warning. Bruce awaits your reply, wringing his hands before him and those glaring purple knuckles catch your attention again. How a CEO had managed those was a question you hesitated to entertain. Something else was going on here.

You knew Gotham was a corrupt city. It festered with crime in every aspect, that much the Riddler had made clear last Halloween. The late mayor, the DA, the police commissioner... and amongst his targets, Bruce Wayne had survived. Something else was definitely going on here.

“...I serve the public, Mr. Wayne. I reserve my skill for the citizens of Gotham without the... ability to seek better. I’m flattered you would consider me and I would be more than happy to point one of my talented colleagues your way in my stead. But I’m sorry, I can’t accept your offer.”

Bruce’s face falls for just a second. After all, if he were to wear his emotions on his face all the time, you doubted he’d be much of a successful businessman.

You’re thankful that he takes a step out of your personal space and doesn’t fuss, doesn’t try to shove a wad of cash at you, doesn’t throw more offers at you until you concede. “I appreciate your consideration, but that won’t be necessary. I should let you return to your work. Thank you for your time.”

You nod a little dumbly, the weight of what has just transpired starting to settle fully on you. Em would be far too angry at you to laugh, now.

With the grace of his pedigree, Bruce Wayne nods silently to you and leaves.

You notice once the muscles in your shoulders stop shaking that there’s something in your office that wasn’t there before. There, on the loveseat where Bruce Wayne had waited for you, was a business card.

You shakily approach the seat and collapse beside it, reaching out to read what adorns the back of the Wayne Enterprises logo.

Bruce Wayne CEO P: 212-XXX-XXXX

It takes the clatter of ceramic to pull you out of your reverie.

Beside you, Em hovers, “And here I thought you weren’t a fan.”

At the puzzled look you give her, Em jerks her head toward where your eyes had been focusing, mindlessly stirring in the events of the afternoon. At some point, the TV’s channel had changed from Days of our Lives to the Gotham News. They were running a story on a charity event downtown. Bruce Wayne was shaking hands on camera, the tagline “Bruce Wayne makes dazzling appearance alongside controversial mayor”. How fitting.

“‘m not,” you grumble, pushing your lunch around in yellowed Tupperware, “just thinking.”

“About?”

You glance at Em. Too little too late, your boss had clambered into your office shortly after Bruce left, pestering you about the conversation you’d had, disappointed when you’d told him you’d turned down the offer. “Imagine the press we’d get, one of our very own working for the CEO of Wayne Enterprises,” he’d argued, “you’ve got to reconsider.”

You hesitated to tell your tale again, fearful that you’d suffer the same reaction, but Em was not your boss. She would never let the topic rest. And it wasn’t like you signed an NDA, a truth that had only hit you hours after the fact, “I got a job offer today.”

Em’s eyebrows shoot up, “From West Mercy? Arkham?”

The very thought of working in Arkham Asylum had you abandoning your lunch altogether, “God, no. It was more like... on-demand. Concierge. A very rich patient wanted to hire me as their private doctor.”

“Wow... was it one of your patients?”

“No, I’ve never examined him in my life.”

“Him?” You recognized that tone of voice. A slew of questions were on the way if you didn’t elaborate fast enough.

Besides yourself and Em huddled in a corner, the break room was relatively empty. One of the ER nurses was napping, another engrossed in a game of Sudoku on their phone. You doubted they would hear even if you raised your voice above a whisper.

Quietly, because you clam up at the thought of saying his name out loud, you fish out his business card and slide it across the table to her.

It takes her but a moment to process. First a deep inhale, then her hand slaps the table (the Sudoku nurse glances up at you both and then changes his mind), then she’s gripping at your scrubs and shaking you violently in your chair, “Shut the front door! Please tell me you said yes!”

You frown, “No, I didn’t.”

“Why the hell not? I know you don’t keep up with the times in this city, but this guy is loaded!”

“I do keep up with the times. I just don’t give a rat’s ass about Bruce Wayne. A crime punishable by death, apparently.”

“But why in the world would you want to keep working here when you could be... having lunch on a terrace? Discussing lab results over Pinot Grigio? Jetting off to the Bahamas to check his vitals on vacation?”

You snort, “Exactly what I told him: I serve the public. I’d like to keep it that way.”

“Could always do both.”

You tried to imagine it, for Em’s sake. The terrace lunches, the Pinot Grigio. You imagined the nice apartment from before and the esteem that your boss was sure you could bring the hospital.

And you imagined Bruce Wayne, with a limp. With bruised knuckles. Always looking at you with those big eyes that somehow told you everything and nothing at the same time. Like an open book in a dead language. You thought about the night that Wayne Tower caught fire and the world that had been crumbling down in Gotham had started to feel truly broken. Politicians die all the time, but the uber rich? Even you had watched the sky in horror.

And now that same man had asked you—you, of all people—to be there in case there was a next time.

You thought about the Batman. Would you say yes if he asked you the exact same question?

You hadn’t considered both.

You’re unaware that Em is leaving until her chair scoots loudly across the laminate, “Think on it. Seriously. It’s the opportunity of a lifetime.” Her hand brushes your shoulder fleetingly. Then she’s leaving and you’re left to think again.

It was a bit ironic that his next visit took place as you were perusing apartment listings.

You hadn't seen him get inside your home the first time. He’d just been there, as if he’d always been there and you just never noticed. This time, he doesn’t have the urgency to break in. He waits at your window… staring in at you. No knocking. Not even a muffled “Can I come in?”

You don’t know how he expects anyone to invite him inside their home with those kinds of manners. You set your laptop aside and walk over to the curtains, his figure becoming clearer, more menacing as eyes silently follow you. By the time you reach the window, your heart is beating at an unhealthy pace. You had been able to get that adrenaline down before. How did you manage that again?

Batman waits patiently. Your hand presses to the glass, the warmth of it leaving behind a visible print as you push up on the glass, “Don’t tell me,” his head cocks to the side as you begin, “another bullet?”

If he is suffering from a wound like the last, he doesn’t look it. He’s crouched on your fire escape with his cape billowing behind him and the light of your apartment giving off just enough of an ominous glow.

After last time, you’d sneaked some extra supplies back to your place under the paranoia that something might happen again. And, let’s be honest, no one would raise a brow at having everything you need to clean a gunshot wound in this city. You couldn’t say it was entirely just for him, though.

The silence goes on uncomfortably long. You start to wonder if he even heard you, the way he stares you down, unmoving. He resembles a stray caught stealing from a trashcan, seconds from sprinting in the opposite direction to avoid being caught.

Eventually, your heartbeat spikes again. What had he told you last time? To run if someone tried to break in? Maybe he had wanted you to sprint the second you saw a human looming on your fire escape, regardless of their vague bat shape. Was he angry? He kind of always looked angry.

“Have you noticed anyone following you?” His question causes just the briefest alarm.

Living on the not-greatest side of Gotham, you had learned how to keep your head down but your eyes everywhere. If some mugger were looking to jump you as you got out of your car, you’d know. You shake your head, palms beginning to sweat.

Batman assesses you for a bit longer. You can’t tell if he’s reading you for a lie or if his instincts are just telling him otherwise, but eventually, he accepts your answer.

And begins to leave.

“Wait,” you stutter out against your better judgement, when he’s already stood to his full height, one boot positioned on the railing to propel himself below. He looks over his shoulder at you very slowly, “how’s your... side? Wound heal okay?

He looks down to where you’d stitched him, where his armor had been mended. “It’s better.”

You sigh, relieved. “You’ve gotten it looked at, then.”

“Someone looked at it.”

His wording gives you pause. “What about your stitches? Did you get them redone?” He hesitates. “You... did get them redone, right? Better. Preferably by someone who wasn’t worried about you dying on their living room floor.” Your skin prickles when you see his guilty look. “Batman, if you’ve been fighting crime every night for the past week with the same stitches I put in you days ago-”

“I’ve been through worse.”

“So you keep saying.” You really don’t mean to grit your teeth at him, practically stomping your foot because you’d, at the very least, expected him to be a bit smart about a bullet wound.

But, then again, you were talking to a man dressed as a bat.

You crawl out onto the fire escape, chilly and biting and unforgiving as the night may be, and watch Batman turn halfway toward you. You have to resist the urge to brush your hand against his side, an act far too intimate with Kevlar in the way. You look up at him, “Don’t suppose you’d let me take another look at it?”

The first time, sure, he let you because he was close to dying. With a motto of “I’ve been through worse” at his disposal, you doubted he would let you do it again unless the circumstances were dire.

Sure enough, he moves defensively away from you. You take heart in that it seems less like he distrusts you and more like he’s got a bravado issue. Not great, but better. Easier to fix.

You think of the medical supplies in your apartment and wonder if you’ve got what it takes to coax him inside. “I thought that you might not come again. Guy like you fighting crime every night must have people on hand for stuff like this, right? You’re not just any vigilante. Couldn’t be.” His unsettling glare makes the cold seep into you just a little bit more, “You don’t. Do you?”

He doesn’t answer you. His eyes shift from yours to the cityscape. Looking for a way out, maybe.

But if he wanted to leave, he would leave. Why would he hesitate?

“I just want to look. Make sure it’s not infected. No poking or prodding, I promise.”

“It’s not. I had someone look at it.”

“A doctor?”

“...No.”

“Someone who knows what they’re looking at, at least?”

He looks down at you. There’s something there that he’s keeping close to his chest, too much information for a stranger (even one who’s saved his life). You wait to see what his decision will be. “You work at Gotham General.” Batman states, matter-of-factly.

“...I know you were bleeding to death when I told you, but you’ve got to keep up in this city.” You see a hint of a smile on his mouth that is just as easily written off as a scowl. “What about it?”

Again, that look.

Just as you’re certain that you’re about to break through to something, a siren goes off in the distance. Sure enough, when the both of you look to the sky, his emblem is carved out in the clouds, beckoning him down to the streets once more. Your heart sinks. You were so close.

Batman waits a beat, positioning himself on the railing again. His eyes find yours over his shoulder, cape fluttering with the promise of taking flight, “They’re lucky to have you.”

He leaves. It feels even colder when he does.

[peanutbutterlover02]

welcome to new york

Masterlist | part 2 |

Summary: You got accepted to your dream university in New York, majoring in dance, but there was a catch. Your old friend Sohee had come up with the brilliant idea of placing you in an apartment with one of his closest friends—someone you’d never met before. Now, faced with this unexpected roommate situation, you couldn’t help but feel a mix of excitement and anxiety. How would you navigate living with a total stranger? Would you two get along, or would it be awkward?

Contains: fluff

🎧welcome to new york - Taylor Swift🎧

In the dimly lit, cozy dance studio tucked away in the corner of California, you stand alone in front of the mirrored wall. Your breathing is steady, eyes locked on your own reflection. The music started as you slowly began the routine you just made, your body fluid and controlled, moving with precision and grace, gliding across the worn wooden floor, the scuff marks a testament to countless rehearsals, as your breath fills the room once you finished your dance routine.

Still struggling to catch air, you heard a sharp sound of a single hand clap echo through the empty room, making you turn your head. “That was amazing y/n! You'll for sure get accepted”, Julie, your best friend told you with a bright smile on her face, amazed with your new dance routine.

“You think so?, I’m really scared to send in the submission..”, you asked, doubting yourself. “Why? This has been your dream for years.. Just send it in or should I do it for you? Hmm?”, Julie replied, raising one of her eyebrows as she stared at you with a confused look on her face.

You chuckled, “Okay, okayy i'll send it in now, don't worry”, you answered while opening up your laptop and getting ready to send in your audition tape to your dream university in New York. You have been talking about applying to universities with Julie ever since sophomore year, and the both of you are more than excited for this. Too bad, your best friend Julie had to stay and go to a university in California because of her family but she kept pushing you to apply to your dream university.

Months passed and here you were, stepping out of the terminal as the city of New York welcomes you. Everywhere, you see people move with purpose through the crowd with ease. The smell of street food filled your scent, as you walked through the foreign city of dreams.

Thankfully, months prior before moving you had contacted an old friend of yours, Sohee. He’s a student majoring in music at NYU who has moved to New York ever since highschool due to his parents. You were thankful that he was able to find you a nice two bedroom apartment… TWO BEDROOM?

“Sohee! I didn’t realize it would be a two-bedroom apartment. It’s too pricey for my budget... Aren’t there any studio apartments nearby?” you asked, your annoyance creeping in, tinged with sadness. Sohee let out a resigned sigh. “Just be grateful I was able to find you this one. All the studio apartments around here are sold out; this was the only place left close to campus.”

Sohee smiled gently, trying to lift your spirits. “Look, it has a great view and a pool downstairs. Plus, there’s a dance studio on the 3rd floor gym”. You wiped away a tear, your voice shaky. “But what about the rent?” The reality of the situation loomed large, making it hard to focus on the appealing features when the financial burden felt so heavy.

Sohee couldn't help but chuckle at your reaction. “You’ll be fine! You’ll have a roommate, so you can split the rent with him.”

“A ROOMMATE? Sohee, why didn’t you mention that earlier? You made me worried—I thought I’d have to cover everything on my own!” Your expression shifted dramatically, a smile breaking through as relief washed over you. “So when is she getting here?” you asked, curiosity sparking in your eyes.

“He’s arriving tomorrow”, Sohee replied bluntly.

You gasped, your face a mask of disbelief. “HE? TOMORROW?! SOHEE? HOW COULD YOU?”.

Sohee burst into a fit of laughter, clearly amused by your shock. “Relax! He’s my best friend. Plus, he’s also a student at NYU, majoring in music like I am. And trust me, he’s really nice,” He reassured you, wiping away tears of laughter while trying to calm your frayed nerves.

Once Sohee left you alone in the apartment, a wave of nerves washed over you as you prepared to meet your new, unannounced roommate. You could almost picture Sohee patting himself on the back for throwing two total strangers together in one space. To distract yourself from that unsettling thought, you cranked up the music on your mini speaker, letting the upbeat tunes fill the room as you started unpacking your essentials. Fortunately, the apartment was fully furnished with brand-new furniture, so all you needed to do was organize your clothes, making the task feel a bit less daunting.

Once you were settled in, you dialed your friend’s number to share about today's events. As you caught up with Julie, she filled you in on how she was adjusting to her new dorm room at her university. The conversation flowed effortlessly, laughter and stories bouncing back and forth, and before you knew it, hours had slipped by without you even realizing it..

You jolted awake to the blaring alarm, heart pounding as you saw the clock read 7:00. “Shit.. When is he arriving?”, you muttered, quickly grabbing your phone to check the messages from Sohee. Scrolling through, you found his texts confirming that his friend would be there at 10:00 AM.

“Great, enough time to get ready and make breakfast,” you told yourself, dragging yourself toward the shower in your room for a refreshing cold rinse. As the cool water cascaded over you, a wave of gratitude washed over you for the apartment’s separate bathrooms. The thought of not having to battle your new roommate for bathroom time was a relief, allowing you to enjoy your morning routine without any added stress.

You finished getting ready and was preparing a light brunch for yourself, music blasting through your earphones, when a soft knock on the door interrupted you.

“Huh? But it’s only 9:00? Maybe it’s Sohee?”, you began walking towards the door. And as you slowly opened it, there stood a tall, effortlessly handsome, brown haired boy with a casual smile that made your pulse quicken. The sunlight framed him perfectly, highlighting the sharp angles of his jaw and the warmth in his eyes. You swallowed, suddenly hyper-aware of the door in your hand and the way your heart seemed to skip a beat as his gaze met yours.

“Hi, I’m Anton, Sohee’s friend.. You must be y/n?”.

a/n: hey! Just letting u know this will be a whole series so pls check out the masterlist, mwah. Also, I was heavily inspired by a bunch of songs in my playlist, might as well use em as titles amirite?

[criminalmindswhore]

Family Affair Ch. 1

An Emily Prentiss x Reader story that will be angsty. TW: mentions of violence and murder, homophobic parents and people, child abuse You stumbled into the BAU not prepared to see your family on the screen. What happens when the family you left behind is dead and your new one is responsible for catching their killer?

You were born into a family where love was earned. Perfection was expected and if it wasn't perfect, it wasn't accepted. You did every extracurricular activity possible to please your parents. Theatre, track, singing, Honors Society, but it was never enough. Even when you graduated top of your class at Yale and then got into the academy. The day you left for Yale there was a huge blowout fight which resulted in you being cut out of the family. 

"Dad I don't want that life. I don't want to come back to this town with the same rude people and run this business." You threw your last bag into your car and slammed the door. Your dad hot on your tail as you walked back inside the house. "You don't have a choice. You either do that or don't bother coming home." You came to a full stop in the entryway, taking a deep angry breath. You pressed your fingers against the bridge of your nose. Your dad sighed, "We love you Y/N and we want what's best for you." You turned towards him and scoffed, "What's best for me, isn't in this run-down town." There was a lingering sadness between the two of you. You knew you couldn't continue to let them treat you this way, and he knew he was losing you.

 "Dad, I need to move on. I can't live in this house anymore it's full of pain for me whether you acknowledge it or not. Kate and I both see it. Mom sometimes does." Your voice softer, almost scared of his reaction. He stood with his arms crossed and feet planted firm, you continued, "Everyone my age hates me, you hate me, there's nothing here for me anymore." Your dad was set off by this, "We don't hate you Y/N! If we did we wouldn't have let you go to Yale and offer to pay for your groceries while you're there." You took a step towards him, "There was nothing you could have done to stop me. I'm on a full ride and I don't need your help." He shoved past you, "You're never gonna make it past freshman year." You paced through the space ranting, "I have been nothing but successful my entire life, what makes you think I can't handle it? Because you won't be there to yell at me or hit me when I get a 97 instead of a 100? Because you won't be there to force me to go to church? I have made something of myself from nothing with no support from you. You have never said you're proud of me once." He grabbed a beer from the fridge, he was yelling now, "I did so much for you! I'm the reason you were so successful!" You scoffed at him, "The reason I'm successful is because I feared for my life when I wasn't. That's not helping, that's trauma. That's why I never told you guys about her." 

The words left your mouth before you could stop them. He stopped walking around and looked at you, your blood ran cold with fear. "Her?" Your brain went blank, you couldn't think of one thing to say to save yourself. "I knew you were one of them. Get out of my house and don't come back." 

Your alarm blaring in your ear jolted you from the most amazing sleep you have ever gotten. "Fuck this." You turned it off and groaned as someone knocked on your bedroom door. "Come in!" You rolled over in your bed now face down in the pillows. "Good morning sleepyhead, I made us coffee and breakfast for the road now get up." Your roommate Garcia threw a throw pillow from the couch at you. You picked your head up and glared at her, "What the fuck Pen?" She smiled at you, already wearing a full face of makeup with her rainbow robe. She closed the door and you rolled out of bed. Dragging yourself into the shower. You loved your job but there was nothing you loved more than sleep. For some reason, your parents were heavy on your mind during your shower. You haven't spoken for nearly 7 years. Your last conversation on your college graduation day. They called to tell you they wouldn't be attending followed by some dumbass excuse. Not that you really wanted to see them anyway, it had been 4 years at that point. Now you were in the FBI, working towards your doctorate. After making yourself look put together and professional you trotted into the kitchen where Pen was sitting waiting for you while she read some new romance novel. You grinned at her music choice this morning, Lana Del Rey. You grabbed your Yale travel mug from the cabinet pouring coffee into it. You turned to Pen, "You ready miss thang?" She giggled, "Y/N you gotta stop flirting with me or Morgan's gonna have some competition." She stood up grabbing her purse and coffee cup. 

The energy was off from the second you two stepped off the elevator onto the BAU's floor. Hotch was standing at the glass doors waiting for you. The team already gathered in the round table room. Hotch pulled you aside and told Garcia to join the team. She shot you a smile before trekking up the stairs. "Hotch what's going on? Is this about me using the word soggy in the report? I couldn't think of a better-" "No Y/N, it's about your family." Your heart drops to your stomach, you suddenly feel weak. "Hotch, don't tell me." Tears sprung in your eyes, all he did was look at you with sympathy. You took off into the round table room, "Y/N don't." You dropped your coffee seeing the pictures on the screen. Images of your parents dead, hands missing. Everything was spinning and the team sprung into action. JJ clicking off the screen, Emily standing up to grab you. Garcia grabs your bag from your hands and picks up your cup. "No, no, no, no." You kept repeating yourself slowly sinking to the ground. Emily was holding your waist to safely lower you down, "Y/N look at me, look at me." You looked at her face and she grabbed your hands once you were safely sitting. "Breathe, force the air in." You didn't even realize you hadn't taken a breath. 

After a few minutes you had calmed down, swallowed your feelings, and stood up. "What happened." You demanded rather than asked the team. Hotch went to speak up, "Y/N you don't want to-" "Aaron, tell me." You glared at him. You knew that town better than anyone in the room, they needed you still and everyone knew it. He took a deep breath, "Found this morning in one of their restaurants by your sister. Hands are missing which is why we were called in. Cause of death is a bullet to the head." No one spoke as you processed. You swallowed the bile that was creeping up your throat and took a step towards Garcia looking for some kind of comfort, she understood and grabbed your hand. "There's a lot of hunters in the area, they would know how to take the- um, hands. My dad was well-liked in the community, and the same with my mom. I wasn't but I haven't been back in over 10 years. My sister never left, she went to community college and then started working for my dad. Is she in protective custody?" Hotch nodded. "Y/N you aren't allowed to work this case but we will be using you as a resource. Wheels up in 10." Rossi gave you a long, tight hug on his way out the door. The team knows you aren't huge on touch so they all gave you a shoulder pat. Other than JJ who stopped in front of you, "Can I give you a hug?" Her voice was full of sadness, and you nodded. She wrapped her arms around you in the Y/N." 

You sat on the jet at the table, Emily beside you, Hotch and Rossi across from you. You were listening to them throw around theories and you filled in with information about the people and town when needed. You weren't completely present, memories of childhood flashing in your head. The bad was taking over the good and you were struggling to find reasons to be sad. You felt psychotic sitting there looking for something good to miss about them. Sure you always wanted them to say they were proud of you, or come to your wedding but the chances of that happening, alive or not, were slim to none. 

Emily placed her hand on your knee sensing the turmoil in your head. Hotch's voice brought you back to the jet, "When we land Morgan and Reid go to the crime scene. Rossi and JJ I want you to go to the medical examiner, Prentiss, and Y/L/N will go with me to the station. Y/N your sister is waiting for you there." Everyone nodded, a thick tension in the air. No one knew details but they all knew you left and never looked back. On top of your parents being dead, they all knew coming back was going to be a lot for you. Emily softly spoke, "Y/N, don't bottle this up okay? We understand it's okay." She gave you the softest, sweetest smile. The last thing you needed was the crush that has been brewing for over a year now to fuck with your head but at this moment you could almost feel love coming off her words.

You walked into the station and spotted her immediately, dropping your bag on the floor and running to the room she was in. "Y/N!" She jumped up and wrapped her arms around you. "Hi, Kate." You pulled her close to your chest. She shook with sobs, from the sadness of losing your parents and because she missed you so much. Tears finally slipped from your eyes, "I'm so sorry I left you behind Katie." She pulled away from you and wiped your tears, "Shut up dude. I told you to." 

"Y/N please go to Yale. I will be okay, I promise. Dad hasn't laid a hand on me in almost a year. You know I can handle this." She sat up to look at up you from the end of the bed. The two of you were lying in opposite directions on your bed, your room packed up into boxes around you. "I just don't want you to have to do this alone," you spoke honestly. She crawled on the bed to lay beside you regularly, "I won't be alone, I have my friends and the dog." She smiled at you, a sadness in her eyes. "I will miss you but you worked hard for this. You deserve to get out of here, god knows I won't. One of us needs to escape." It was your turn to glare at her, "Don't say that, you'll leave this fucked up town too." There was a comfortable silence around you two as you soaked up your last night together. 

You smiled at her, happy to have your little sister in your arms again. You pulled her back to your chest, "I'm so happy to see you again loser." She giggled. She sat down on the couch again, pulling her sleeves over her hands. "Y/N promise me you guys can find the person that did this." She looked at you with pleading eyes looking for answers, you sat beside her. "My team is the best, they will find them. I promise you." She sniffled and swallowed. "I don't know what to even do. Obviously, I'm sad but with our childhood, it's hard to process this." You nodded, "Trust me, I understand. I felt like a crazy person on the plane ride here. I don't think there's one way we need or should feel right now. It's gonna take time to figure out how we feel, but I'm here now. We'll figure it out together." She smiled slightly before a tear slipped down her cheek. Kate reached out to grab your hand, "I'm really glad you're here Y/N." You shivered, "I have mixed feelings." 

Just as you started to feel less horrified of being here there was a knock on the door, and you heard a voice you haven't heard since senior year of high school, "Y/N, can we talk?" You turned on the couch to see Amber Jones standing at the door, badge dangling off her belt. You nodded, patted your sister on the knee, and stood. Prepared for the conversation you've avoided for a decade. 

[cheezecakeee]

txt as taylor swift songs🫧 (angst ver.)

main masterlist | txt masterlist

・┆✦ʚ♡ɞ✦ ┆・

➜ Yeonjun : loml

"If you know it in one glimpse, it's legendary. You and I go from one kiss to gettin married. Still alive, killing time at the cemetery, never quite buried, in your suit and tie, in the nick of time, you lowdown boy, you stand up guy. Holy Ghost, you told me I'm the love of your life, you said I'm the love of your life, about a million times" "You shit talked me under the table, talking rings and talking cradles, I wish I could un-recall, how we almost had it all. Dancing phantoms on the terrace, are they second-hand embarrassed that I can't get out of bed? 'cause something counterfeit's dead" "Oh, what a valiant roar, what a bland goodbye; the coward claimed he was a lion. I'm combing through the braids of lies, "I'll never leave"... "Never mind". Our field of dreams, engulfed in fire, your arson's match your somber eyes and I'll still see it until I die, you're the loss of my life"

➜ Soobin - All you had to do was stay

"People like you always want back the love they gave away and people like me wanna believe you when you say you've changed. The more I think about it now, the less I know, all I know is that you drove us off the road" "Here you are now, calling me up, but I don't know what to say. I've been picking up the pieces of the mess you made. People like you always want back the love they pushed aside but people like me are gone forever when you say goodbye" "Let me remind you, this was what you wanted. You ended it. You were all I wanted but not like this. Not like this" "Hey, all you had to do was stay, had me in the palm of your hand, then why'd you have to go and lock me out when I let you in? Hey, now you say you want it back. Now that it's just too late, well, it could've been easy, all you had to do was stay"

➜ Beomgyu - Maroon

"When the morning came we were cleaning incense off your vinyl shelf, 'cause we lost track of time again. Laughing with my feet in your lap like you were my closest friend, "How'd we end up on the floor anyway?" You say "Your roommate's cheap-ass screw-top rosé, that's how". I see you every day now. And I chose you, the one I was dancin' with in New York, no shoes" "The burgundy on my T-shirt when you splashed your wine into me and how the blood rushed into my cheeks, so scarlet, it was maroon. The mark you saw on my collarbone, the rust that grew between telephones, the lips I used to call home, so scarlet, it was maroon" "And I lost you, the one I was dancin' with in New York, no shoes. Looked up at the sky and it was maroon. And I wake with your memory over me, that's a real fucking legacy, legacy. And I wake with your memory over me, that's a real fucking legacy to leave"

➜ Taehyun - So long, London

"I didn't opt in to be your odd man out, I founded the club she's heard great things about; I left all I knew, you left me at the house by the Heath. I stopped CPR, after all it's no use, the spirit was gone, we would never come to and I'm pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free." "And you say I abandoned the ship but I was going down with it, my white knuckle dying grip, holding tight to your quiet resentment and. My friends said it isn't right to be scared every day of a love affair, every breath feels like rarest air when you're not sure if he wants to be there" "So how much sad did you think I had, did you think I had in me? How much tragedy? Just how low did you think I'd go? before I'd self-implode, before I'd have to go be free" "You swore that you loved me but where were the clues? I died on the altar waiting for the proof, you sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days and I'm just getting color back into my face, I'm just mad as hell cause I loved this place," "For so long, London, had a good run, a moment of warm sun but I'm not the one. So long, London, stitches undone, two graves, one gun, you'll find someone..."

➜ Heuning kai - I bet you think about me

"Well, I tried to fit in with your upper-crust circles, yeah, they let me sit in back when we were in love. Oh, they sit around talkin' 'bout the meaning of life and the book that just saved 'em that I hadn't heard of. But now that we're done and it's over, I bet you couldn't believe when you realized I'm harder to forget than I was to leave. And I bet you think about me" "You grew up in a silver-spoon gated community. Glamorous, shiny, bright Beverly Hills, I was raised on a farm, no, it wasn't a mansion just livin' room dancin' and kitchen table bills. But you know what they say, you can't help who you fall for and you and I fell like an early spring snow, but reality crept in, you said we're too different. You laughed at my dreams, rolled your eyes at my jokes" "Oh, block it all out, the voices so loud, sayin' "Why did you let her go?" Does it make you feel sad that the love that you're lookin' for is the love that you had. Now you're out in the world, searchin' for your soul, scared not to be hip, scared to get old, chasin' make-believe status, last time you felt free was when none of that shit mattered 'cause you were with me" "I bet you think about me when you're out at your cool indie music concerts every week. I bet you think about me in your house with your organic shoes and your million-dollar couch. I bet you think about me when you say, "Oh my God, she's insane, she wrote a song about me". I bet you think about me"

・┆✦ʚ♡ɞ✦ ┆・

[daxerian]

Teenage Love

Charles Leclerc x reader

Author's note: this is like the longest fic i have ever written and omg i feel excited for you to read this! Also i write like every story for my friend so it's kind of written in 3rd person so i hope that doesn't bother you!

Words: 7k (and some more)

Warnings: divorce, a bit of smut (not explained of course just a bit) and i think that's all

Ps: it's kinda rushed so don't expect much

Edited!

Y/n and Charles had the teenage summer love, but for them, it kinda seemed that it's a forever kind of thing you know? They somehow made it work with Charles' rising career in Formula 1 and y/n wanting to finish her Business degree. It worked, Charles got into Formula 1 and y/n finished her degree and got a job.

They got married in 2021 but since then their relationship wasn't it. There wasn't excitement in y/n's eyes when Charles came home after a race late at night. There wasn't any interest on Charles' face when y/n wanted to tell him about her day. Their relationship was falling apart. But they never mentioned a divorce, maybe they were scared to talk about it, or maybe they didn't want to throw all the memories they made over the 8 years of their relationship and 10 years of their friendship.

What should they do? Y/n already started looking at apartments in the city she grew up in, Spain. Of course, it was out of boredom then it started to get serious. Y/n found a job near the location of the apartment and it paid well. Charles found out about this a few weeks later because of his job. The argument was born just like that.

"What are you looking at?" Charles asked quite confused why his wife is looking at homes in Spain. "Nothing" y/n answered not wanting to talk about it but she knew that Charles would eventually find out. "Then why are you looking at apartments in Spain? Is it for a friend or what?" he asked and of course getting a bit mad, "No it's for me Charles, not any friends or family, just me" "But why?" "Charles, don't you understand everything that has been going on for the last 2 nearly 3 years of our marriage? We are more like roommates that don't like each other than happily married couple!" y/n answered Charles rather harshly than expected.

Charles became quiet because he knew y/n was right about their whole marriage being nothing but a failure of love. "Our marriage started to fall apart after our honeymoon. We pretend to love each other and I'm sick of it Charles! I no longer feel like I'm in a fairytale story with a loving husband in this beautiful city, your fans know that our marriage is falling apart but not you!" y/n told him this in a very mad but sad tone in her voice.

"Oh, you think I didn't notice that our relationship is falling apart? You don't know how many nights I spend wondering if you want a divorce or not! I ignore that this life that we created is not falling apart because I only imagined it with you y/n!" Charles told her sadly but he tried to hide it with frustration and anger. Y/n didn't know how to answer because she knew Charles told the truth that needed to be said.

"I never truly wanted this end with you Charles, all I wanted with you was a happy marriage and after time kids that could be a carbon copy of us you know? The happy life, not this stuff. And I also think that divorce would be the best option for us, we're not happy anymore so" y/n had a hard time saying this and obviously with the divorce part but she knew it was for the best.

Charles didn't know how to react to y/n asking for a divorce but he had respect for so he told her that everything was going to ok. "I'll call my lawyer to get the divorce petition so we can file it and then send the request for court okay? It will take a few months but not forever so we can fly to Spain and look at the apartments you have been looking for so you know which one is the best for you" At this point, Charles was trying not to cry.

Y/n was stunned, she just told Charles that a divorce would be the best thing for them and he said okay. "You would do this for me?" "I would even if I didn't want to"

*2 years later*

Y/n and Charles remained friends, they contacted each other twice a month to see how the other one is doing y/n also went to the Spanish GP to show support to Charles even if they were no longer together. Some fans still believe that the whole split up was something made up and the couple was still together but you know Bety and Charles ignored them, because even after the 2 years they wanted to keep it for themselves.

A lot of things happened since the divorce. Charles still interacted with his fans but not as often as before. Y/n couldn't focus on her work stuff anymore. They missed each other so much but they didn't dare to admit it. It's like 2 years ago when they were both scared to talk about their failing marriage.

They were meant to be but they did it wrong.

Well, one day everything changed. It was a beautiful summer day like every other in Madrid but at the end of the day it started raining so much, so y/n took care of herself you know? Washed her hair, did her skincare, made some late-night dinner that wouldn't make her stomach upset, and turn on a movie.

It was halfway through the movie and she heard her doorbell ring of course she wondered who the hell is here at 10:30 pm. She looked through the peephole and saw Charles with soaked hair, hoodie and sweatpants. She quickly opened the door and instantly felt worried. What the fuck is Charles doing here?

She softly asked him "Charles what are you doing here? And why are you crying? Come inside please" Of course she still cared, he was still her friend. "I'm so sorry," Charles said with tears in his eyes. "Sorry for what Charlie? I don't understand" "I'm so sorry for not trying harder in our marriage. And I fucking hate myself it took me 2 fucking years to realize that I should try harder and I shouldn't even be here your boyfriend-" Charles said slowly because he was crying.

"What are you talking about? I don't have a boyfriend" Y/n answered him still talking to him softly because she couldn't stay mad at him. "You don't? After all the time?" Charles was confused cause y/n is still the prettiest woman he has ever seen and she could be with anybody she wants. "No Charlie I- you know what? I'll find some clothes for you and you go take a shower okay? The bathroom is down the hall" y/n told him "Okay, thank you"

Y/n never told anyone but when she was packing her stuff she sneakily 'stole' two pairs of Charles' sweatshirts and a pair of sweatpants, they were big on her of course but they were her favorite pieces of clothing of his, so how could she let them go? After some time they stopped to smell like him and it kinda hurt her. Because Charles has this smell of his own that reminds her of home.

After some time y/n asked Charles softly if he wanted to talk about what was troubling him. Charles shook his head and said that all he wanted was her. Y/n tried to remind him that they couldn't act on their feelings, but he insisted that he knew she wanted him as much as he wanted her. Against her better judgment, y/n found herself kissing him passionately.

It all happened so fast through. They were kissing passionately on her couch after 2 years of trying to act like friends even when they knew, they could never be just friends. It got carried away to y/n’s bedroom and it happened, it happened with love. Lingering touches were exchanged. Words of affirmation too. They somehow found themselves in love again.

*10 years later*

Charles and y/n got re-married after getting back together all these years ago. They are both 37 and living the best life they could ever imagine having. With Charles having 3 World Titles on his check he decided to retire after being in the sport for a lot of years. Y/n started working from home so she could finally had much more time to spend with her family.

They also got 2 beautiful daughters. Stella and Rose Leclerc. Those 2 girls brought so much joy to their lives. Stella being the fantastic 6-year-old kiddo and Rose being the fabulous 4-year-old, were living like one. There weren't arguments between the 2 sisters. They were their Angeles.

And now they are living their best life in their house in the beautiful country of Monaco.

[ultralightpoe]

Bigger Than The Whole Sky - Ethan Landry

Authors Note: I have been trying to find any sort of energy to post and get out of bed. Got so close to giving up on life itself and I'm barely back, please bare with me as I try to find my way out of my depression hole I have dug for myself everyone. I know it's been a minute but life has been kicking my ass. Be patient with me - Ultralight

Word Count: 3405

Warnings: thoughts of su!cide, angst, grief.

Apart of my MIDNIGHTS EVENT. (Next Event is Sour by Olivia Rodrigo. Requests closed. Event following yet to be decided)

SOUR EVENT

MAIN MASTERLIST

Enjoy!

No words appear before me in the aftermath

Salt streams out my eyes and into my ears

Every single thing I touch becomes sick with sadness

'Cause it's all over now, all out to sea

It all went numb at some point. 

You didn’t know when, and you weren’t really mad about it considering it helped with the stab wounds, but at some point after you found out you just…..lost it…….lost the spark. Every will to survive just vanished like smoke in the wind. You had no strength left. 

Police officers snapped in front of your face, desperate to get your statement on the events as medics panicked and tried to get your attention, yelling to each other that you were going into a state of shock as reporters filmed and yelled to get the scoop. You didn’t really think you were going into shock, no, shock was when you go frozen and cold from a traumatic incident. 

This…… this was just pure heartbreak. 

Ethan……….. Ethan had- 

And just like that you were leaning forward to spill your guts as the medic in front of you curses and backs out of the way, tears running down your cheeks hotly as you suck in a sharp breath. You had given absolutely everything to him, you had given EVERYTHING. 

And yet you weren’t angry or upset…… you were just numb. 

Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye

You were bigger than the whole sky

You were more than just a short time

And I've got a lot to pine about

I've got a lot to live without

I'm never gonna meet

What could've been, would've been

What should've been you

What could've been, would've been you

That feeling of numbness quickly passed, and you were left with an unending sadness that just made you tired. 

The news had already published the story over and over, his face took over your phone every time you opened any form of social media and you had yet to clear out all the photos you had taken during your relationship. There was no escaping it, not that you truly wanted to. 

You would never admit that to the others, since they had gone straight to anger. 

They just didn’t understand…. You always thought, which would bring a bitter laugh to your lips because what didn’t they understand? Sam had her boyfriend betray her, Tara lost her childhood best friend from it, Sidney fucking prescott had lost so many people to it. It was a tale as old as time. One falls in love, gets betrayed and stabbed and moves on. 

But you couldn’t move on, you couldn’t leave him. Ethan had stitched you up when you scrambled your way into his life, broken and torn after losing your brother Wes and your mother last round. 

He had saved you. 

“-Yes Mindy,” You snap, reaching a hand to cover your face as you pass a group of kids with their phones pointed at you, the overnight bag carried on your shoulder weighing you down a bit as your boots scuffed on the floor. “I have my taser.”

“I just don’t understand why you decided to walk by yourself in the middle of the night.” She scoffs, the sound of doja cat behind her. “You should’ve called me-”

“First off, my roommate brought a boy over, I hadn’t planned on this. Second of all, you realize I can hear your sex playlist in the background, right?” You fake a laugh for her, trying your best not to let her know you were scared because then she would leave Anika and you didn’t want her to do that since she had worked so hard to get this date. 

“Just call me when you get there?” 

“How about I send you a smiley emoji?” 

“If you send me an emoji I will-”

“Oh, I see a 7-11, I’m gonna stop and get your brother a slushie to ease my arrival. Gotta go-” You rush to hang up, ignoring her disapproval and dashing into the light of the gas station. 

By the time you make it to Chad’s dorm you are shaking and trying your best not to have a panic attack in the middle of the hallway. Arms full with snacks and slushees as you use your foot to pound on the door. 

You prepare a wide smile on your face for when he opens the door, shimmying to ease the tension in your shoulders, doing your best to seem happy. 

But when the door swings open it’s not the cocky smile of Chad that greets you rather than the nervous expression of the curly haired kid in one of your classes, staring at you with wide eyes. “C-can I help you?”

“Oh. Sorry. I was- uh- maybe I had the wrong room?” You blush, stepping back to survey the hall for room numbers. “Crap-”

“Who are you looking for? I know everyones rooms.” He offers, leaning out the door to survey the hall himself. “Dylan? Right? He has a lot of girls come in so-”

“Chad. Chad Meeks.” You snap, blush deepening at the Dylan comment. 

“OH! Yeah, in here. I’m his roommate.” The kid explains, stepping out of the way and widening the door. He waits a second, staring at you as you stare back wide eyed, the room behind him pitch black. He looks confused for a moment before turning to see what the problem was, jumping a bit when he realizes and twisting for the light switch. 

“Sorry- I was sleeping- I wasn’t doing anything else I swear.” He rushes out, shaking his hands. “I am not a creep I swear.”

“You still have the lotion on the shelf-” He whirls to look and you try to stifle your laughter, turning to the bed on the right. “Where is Chad?”

“He went to check on Tara or something. Should be back in like…. soon ?” 

“Okay. Cool. I can go to a coffee shop until he gets here then.” 

“What? Why would you do that? You can wait here no problem.” He shrugs, moving to sit at his desk. You wait a moment before pushing the slushee out to him. 

“Then here. You can have Chad’s slushee.” 

“Thanks.” He smiles, grabbing it softly. “You do the econ homework yet?” 

“We had homework?” You laugh, moving to grab the homework from him. 

Did some bird flap its wings over in Asia?

Did some force take you because I didn't pray?

Every single thing to come has turned into ashes

'Cause it's all over, it's not meant to be

So I'll say words I don't believe

Your court ordered therapist said that you might have relied on him too much, after being broken down from the last incident you had grasped onto the first kind soul you met. She believed that you were trying to fix the trust back, find the nice kind person you once had been. 

You believed she was just telling you anything to make you feel better, right before she stamped a red flag on your papers for ‘DANGEROUSLY DEPRESSED’ and prescribing you hundreds of pills that you would dump down the toilet and tell her you were taking. It was a fun game. 

But she might have been right about the relying thing.  Like walking around with a broken leg, relying on a crutch only for it to break and leave to tumbling down a hill straight into the knife of someone you completely trusted wearing a stupid mask because they were too chicken to face you-

“Y/n!” Chad calls, reaching a hand on your shoulder and squeezing as tightly as he could, which after all the nerve damage and stab wounds wasn’t really much. 

“I’m listening!” You rush, snapping to look at your four friends. 

“No you weren’t.” He laughs, pulling his hand back and keeping it close to him. “We were deciding dinner and if you were listening you would recommend what you always recommend-”

“Pizza.” 

“Oh. My. God.” He groans as Mindy reaches out to hug around your shoulders, pulling you tight. 

“Leave my sister alone.” 

“I’m your brother.”

“Chadward. Can you please just…..shhhhhh?” You ask, flipping him off. This draws a laugh from your friends and you imitate them, but your laugh isn’t the slightest bit real which leaves you feeling lost.  And a bit awkward. 

“You okay?” Sam asks, leaning closer to you so no one else hears. You nod, not trusting actual words to come out. She obviously does not believe it but you claim to be thirsty and leave for some water. 

“You’re actually telling me that you prefer Star Trek over Star Wars?!” Ethan asks, eyes wide as he walks beside you on the way to Econ, adjusting his shoulder bag so as to not let it fall.  “What is wrong with you?”

“More like what is right with me! You really like all that incest crap?”

“Oh…. you are going there?” he gasps and you shrug. “Then what do you think about the Targaryens, huh?”

He laughs when you stop short, thinking your reaction was due to his question, but in reality you had just seen someone design across the yard with a ghostface mask on, the football team laughing at the strangers antics. 

“What a jerk.” Ethan sighs when he finally spots it, moving to block your view as you both walk. 

It had been 2 weeks since you met Ethan, and ever since he had walked you to and from Econ which you found that you loved more than anything else. During these walks you got to argue over anything and everything nerdish, just easy and happy conversations. Plus you got to stand close to him which was always a plus since you loved how he smelled and his sweaters were always soft on your skin. 

“Did you do the homework?” You ask, changing the subject to get your mind off the douchebag in the mask. 

“Yes. And you can copy it when we get inside.” He laughs, shuffling past you to open the door quickly, holding it open for you with an easy smile. 

“After you, Spock.”

“Oh why thank you Han Solo!” You smile, flipping your hair as you walk past him. 

Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye

You were bigger than the whole sky

You were more than just a short time

And I've got a lot to pine about

You spent your mornings in bed, the sheets tucked around you tightly like a butterfly in the cocoon, staring blankly at your wall.  In these moments you could barely muster the energy to lift your head from the pillow, eyes glazed with tears. 

What was the point of anything?  Why were you here when Ethan was……. Gone. Ethan, the brilliant kind soul that had an amazing future for himself was taken from the world while were wasting space. 

You were never as smart as him, not nearly as funny or great. You had no future, which was ironic considering you were the one here……unless. 

No. 

Don’t think about it, that was rule number one.

But it would make things so much easier. 

You wouldn’t do it. 

No one would miss you…..

For a second your body melts into the sheets as you think about it, all the possibilities and the freedom it would bring. No more getting out of bed and no more stares from people. No more ghostface -.

But you couldn’t, and you wouldn’t. 

So you stand, and force yourself to run a bath, sinking into the heat of it as you close your eyes, leaning back so you are completely submerged. Like the hot water could wash away your past, give you an entirely clean slate.

When your head hits the bottom, hands gripping tightly to the sides of the tub as you listen to your heartbeat under the water, the steady thump of it calming you down a bit while you open your eyes. 

And there he is, blurry through the water, leaning over the tub to watch you carefully. Almost as if he were scared……Ethan. 

Ethan was here, and he was scared. 

Ethan. 

“You were so nervous on our first date, remember that? And look at you now.” You tease, hitting Ethan’s shoulder with a twizzler while he fakes swagger, posing for you which leads you to cackle. “He said  ‘we’ll take the large popcorn AND the twizzlers.”

“You know it.”

“College boy has moneyyyyyyyyy-” For a moment you imitate throwing cash, making him dance under the imaginary paper, both of you humming out words to a random pop song. “Get it. Get it. Get it.”

“I’m rich…. And you suck!” He snaps, moving to walk off as you gasp. 

“And you are no longer getting laid!” 

“Wait- wait I didn’t mean it.” 

“Too late dork brains.”

“Gimme another chance here. I’ll splurge for a slushee.”

“You should have splurged for the slushee in the first place rich college boy.” You tease, walking past him. “I’m not cheap, you know. One of a kind over here.”

“Don’t I know it.” He blushes, moving forward to pull you close, walking with his arm over your shoulders. “You know I love you right?”

“I know.” You wink, smiling when he laughs at the Star Wars reference. “Now come on, we have a movie to watch.”

“Heck yeah.” He grabs your hand, leading you into the theater, checking behind him every couple of seconds to make sure you were still there and okay. Three months into dating Ethan and you were absolutely in love with the man. 

I've got a lot to live without

I'm never gonna meet

What could've been, would've been

What should've been you

“Y/n!” He shouts, muffled by the water, reaching his hands into the water to pull you up. When you break the surface you are gasping and spluttering out, hands clinging onto his sleeves tightly with tears streaming down your face. 

“You’re here….” You sob, leaning out of the tub to hug him tightly, your face shoving itself into your shoulder as he wraps himself around you, his sleeves wet against your back while you sob into his shoulder.  “I missed you, you ruined my life.”

“I’m sorry, believe me, that wasn’t supposed to happen.”

“You’re not gonna leave again? Right?!”  

“No… no I’m here.” He whispers, moving to take his shoes off and climb into the tub, pulling you so your back was to his chest and wrapping his arms around you once more, his hoodie just as soft as it always ways and his cheek resting gently on your shoulder. 

“You need to focus.” You mumble, not looking up at Ethan as he stares at you. “We have a test.”

“Halloween is coming up.” He scoffs. “What’s the point?”

“Woah, what has been going on with you lately? Are you dying after halloween? Do you turn into a pumpkin when the clock strikes midnight?” You tease, looking up at him finally. “Seriously you keep talking like halloween is the end of it all.”

“I’m just stressed, that’s all.” He shrugs, moving to lay his forehead on your arm while you kiss the top of his head. 

“It’s date night tonight, what do you want to do-” Before you could finish the question his phone rings on the table, and he snatches it up when you look to see who is calling. 

“I’ll see you later, okay?” He rushes, kissing your cheek and leaving without another word. 

What could've been, would've been

What should've been you

(What could've been, would've been)

What could've been, would've been you

(Could've been, would've been)

(Could've been, would've been)

Silence fills the room as you both sit there, the heat from the bath calming you down as you twist to lay your cheek on the arm he had on the edge of the bath, closing your eyes. 

“What’s the plan, Y/n?” He breaks the silence, taking his left hand and rubbing the wet hair off your forehead. 

“To sleep here and forget the world.”

“I meant the life plan.”

“Don’t have one.”

“Yes….you do.”

“I plan on-”

“Be serious. Tell me your plan.”

“Do I really need one?”

“With the thought you were having this morning? Yes.”

“How did you know about my thoughts?”

“You have a future you know.” He whispers. “You have an amazing future ahead of you, without me.”

“I don’t think I can make it….”

“You can. I know you can.”

“I just want to sleep…….can you just hum for me? Like you always do?” You cry, reaching up to touch his hoodie. 

“I can do that.” 

He put you in his hoodie the night you stayed over, snatching it from where you had thrown it on the ground in both your rushes to get to his bed, pulling your arms into the sleeves as he kissed up your arms. His lips graze your collar bone before he kisses up your neck, smiling when you close your eyes. 

“Come on, I’ll tuck you in.” He whispers, hugging you close as you both waddle to the bed, shuffling in together until you were both lying down. Your head on his chest as he hummed softly, after a moment you can’t help but laugh when you realize what he is humming. 

“Are you humming me the imperial march?”

“No!” He rushes which makes you laugh even more. “It is so not funny-”

“No no no, I loved it. Keep humming keep humming.” You whisper, moving to look up at him with your chin on his chest. “It was great.”

“Anyone ever tell you that you’re gorgeous?” He whispers back, bringing a hand up to rub a thumb across your cheek. 

“You….everyday. Like 10 minutes ago when you finished inside m-”

“WOW!” He interrupts, blushing and laughing. 

“You’re handsome.” You answer, leaning up to kiss him before laying back down. “Now keep humming.”

“I can do that.”

Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye

You were bigger than the whole sky

You were more than just a short time

And I've got a lot to pine about

I've got a lot to live without

I'm never gonna meet

What could've been, would've been

What should've been you

When you wake up you are alone, in his sweater and in your pajamas, the bath cold and the sun streaming in. He wasn’t actually here, you realize, he never was. You had managed to sit in a bath fully clothed, and fall asleep. 

There is pounding on the door, drawing your attention quickly, making you rush to jump out to answer it. 

When you open the front door Sam is standing there, taking one look at your tear streaked face and soaked clothes before she is diving in to grab you in her arms. She holds you tight as you collapse, rocking you slowly as you sob into her chest. 

“I’m sorry!”

“It’s okay.”

“He did terrible things to us- and I can’t fucking get it together.”

“You’re doing great. There is no correct way to go about this.”

“I miss him.”

“That’s okay.”

“I wanted a future with him.”

“You deserved one.” And when Sam says it there was no malicious hint to it, just a soft understanding smile. “But you deserve a future after him too.”

“I cannot believe we are actually doing this.” You laugh, rushing past your friend to snatch your shoe from the bookshelf, you had no clue how it got there. “Ohmygod! Hurry hurry hurry!”

She laughs, letting you snatch her hand and rush you out the door, both of you running as fast as you can to the train stop. 

“Ohmygodohmygodohmygod.” She mumbles, excitement written on her features as you both huddle together on the seat. While she panics you take a second to check your phone, smiling when you see that Sam had sent you the pictures from her wedding you attended months ago, both of you smiling widely.

The lights flicker on the train, and for a moment your heart stops, you take a second to look around……and for as long as it has been you are ashamed to admit you wait to see Ethan on the other side of the train. 

But he is not here and you were no longer there. 

You were in your future, living bigger than the whole sky just as he would want. 

Which meant Taylor Swift of course…….