#i think i scared my roommate it made me so sad

[raddestrose]

I made these to cope

[lightblueminecraftorchid]

My roommate and I had a conversation last night and I keep rotating it in my brain and I Don’t Like It

[m3l0nfl0at]

tell your friends - t. kuroo

kuroo tetsurou x gn! reader ; secret relationship, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, relationship problems, misunderstanding, insecurity issues on kuroo’s side, happy ending, and readers issues with their parents pops up for a second, 3.2k words

summary: this is a mini fic based off of my fic here, just say yes but this can be read as a stand alone! after you and kuroo make it official, you decide to hide your relationship from your roommate kenma. what happens when kenma confronts you about how you’re acting around kuroo? (aka reader is conflicted about revealing their relationship to roommate!kenma)

melon’s recommended melody: coward - matt maltese

Ever since Kuroo and you got together, you both decided to keep your relationship a secret from your roommate, Kenma. Now, don’t get me wrong you love your roommate but knowing you’re dating his best friend obviously puts him in an uncomfortable situation between you two. So for now, every time Kuroo comes around to you and Kenma’s apartment you pretend like nothing between you ever happened. That big fight you and Kuroo had that caused you to sleep at Alisa’s for the weekend, poof, doesn’t exist. Kenma notices the weird shift in energy between you two lately, due to his observance but doesn’t want to comment just in case it’s still a touchy situation for you both. Something’s Kenma has noticed between you two includes you blushing more than ever at any mention of Kuroo, Alisa’s playful elbow nudge and teasing eyebrow waggle towards you when Kuroo comes over, and most importantly Kuroo’s silence around you. Kuroo wasn’t usually loud like their friend Bokuto but Kenma would never use the word quiet and Kuroo in a sentence to describe him.

It wasn’t until Kenma noticed your absence in the apartment getting more frequent, every weekend he would knock on your door to find it completely empty and cold. Kenma felt a bit sad, he didn’t want to keep you in an environment you didn’t want to stay in. However, he also felt conflicted. One part of him doesn't want his best friend to stop coming over completely but he also doesn’t want you to feel uncomfortable by his presence. Kenma got worried about you when the weekends of you missing turned into weeks, he knew he had to address this situation somehow without it turning into a dumpster fire of drama. Kenma needed you to know you were not only his roommate but you were also his friend first, he would never want to hurt you or make you feel unwanted. Midthought Kenma hears the door click, signaling that you made it home safely. Even though you think he’s probably asleep, he feels more awake than ever seeing you with a large duffel bag at the door.

“Can I ask where you’ve been?” Turning around you jump, met with Kenma’s striking cat-like eyes. “Ken, what’re you doing up? You scared the crap out of me!” Kenma notices you dodge the question, feeling more suspicious than ever. “So, I’m guessing I can’t ask where you’ve been?”, you feel sick to your stomach. You never wanted to lie to Kenma, you’re only doing this to protect him, right? “I was at Alisa’s, that’s why I have this big bag!”, you sputter out your words fast. Kenma lets his head hang, feeling his hair cover his face before stating the obvious. “You’ve been weird ever since you came back with Kuroo, is everything okay with you two?”, palms sweating, knee’s shaking, and fingers fidgeting as you respond. “Yeah, we’re fine. We’re two peas in a pod, me and that guy!”, you smile obnoxiously wide trying to sell your lie. Kenma laughs, seeing right through you, “If he’s intolerable, you know you can tell me right? You don’t have to run away, I miss you being here. I don’t know what happened to you two after that weekend but obviously it was bad.”

Tears well up in your eyes and for a moment you consider if you’re keeping this secret from him for a selfish reason or truly to protect him. “No, Kenma there’s nothing going on between Kuroo and I, okay? What happened between Kuroo and I that weekend means nothing, so don’t feel that you can’t invite him over. That’s your best friend, and it would kill me if I found out that I caused a rift between you two. I just stay away because he’s a teasing ass, he was like that even before we went away.” Kenma knows you’re being truthful due to you taking your time with your words wanting to convey the message clearly to him. “Well if you don’t mind, I’ll invite him over tomorrow. Is that okay with you?” You nod telling him that you had work tomorrow so you might not come home till later, leaving the conversation with the problem patched up.

The next day Kuroo ends up coming over to talk to Kenma. Various topics come up in the conversation from Kenma’s upcoming stream to how the volleyball season is going for their friends in the league. Yet Kuroo can’t help but notice your absence, questioning Kenma mid conversation. Kenma brushes off saying you had an impromptu day of work ahead of you, wanting to continue the conversation about his upcoming stream till Kuroo interrupts him yet again. “Haven’t they been working a lot more lately? I mean I get work is every day but even on weekends they’re gone? Are they not working themselves to the bone?” Kenma huffs feeling tension arise in the conversation at the mention of you, “Yeah well maybe you should talk to them about it. They were being super weird when I mentioned you yesterday.” Kenma lays himself flatly on the couch suddenly feeling fed up. “What do you mean weird? Everything between us is perfectly fine?” Kenma hears Kuroo’s tone of voice raise slightly at the end of his sentence.

He’s lying, Kenma repeats what he did with you, feline like stare aiming right at Kuroo. Hoping that he would break and tell him the whole story that you failed to tell him yesterday. “Ok well if you were both “perfectly fine” then why did they get all fidgety when I brought you up? I mean I believe them more than you. Since they said what happened between you two that weekend meant nothing but I know you’re both leaving something out.” Kuroo’s ears hear a high monotone pitch, speeding up Kenma’s last sentence and putting it on a constant loop in his head. Kuroo frantically gets up, it means nothing huh? Did you really think that way or were you just saying that to get Kenma off both of your guys’ back? Kuroo gets that you wanted to hide your relationship from Kenma but going to the extreme and saying the weeknd that cemented your relationship meant nothing? Why couldn’t you just tell him, was he embarrassing, did you think he wasn’t worthy enough to be your boyfriend? Kuroo needed to get out of your apartment fast, he needed to talk to you before his head started spinning with false truths.

“Kenma, I’ll talk to you later. I forgot I had a meeting today with MSBY. I’ll tell Shoyo you said hi.” Kuroo doesn’t even give Kenma a second to respond before going outside to get some fresh air. Immediately calling you up for an explanation, only to be met with your voicemail. “When you’re done with work can you head over to mine. I need to talk to you face to face, please.” Hearing Kuroo’s voicemail when you left work felt like you were listening to Kuroo having a panic attack. You knew you had to drop everything to make your way to him quickly before anything else bad happens to him. Shooting Kenma a text that you were going to run an errand before heading to the apartment today. Taking the train to Kuroo’s, you knock on his door opening up only to be met with Kuroo’s blank stare burning a hole into you. “Tetsu, what’s up? Are you okay, you sounded troubled on the phone?” You place your hands on his face, caressing it softly.

Your heart drops when Kuroo takes your hands off his face, “You can’t do this. You can’t run to me and call me sweet names then tell Kenma that what happened that weekend doesn’t matter to you. How long are you going to keep us a secret?” You were silenced knowing Kuroo was speaking the truth, “I’m sorry Kuroo, you’re right. It’s not fair of me to want to keep you a secret knowing that we’re together almost everyday.” Kuroo falls silent still feeling hurt by your actions deciding to let his insecurities take over, “Do you regret being with me?”. You quickly look up baffled, “Tetsu, no absolutely not! Everyday that I wake up to you I’m reminded of everything I did right in my life to be able to be with you. I’m so sorry Tetsu, from here on out I will prove through my actions and my words that you truly mean a lot to me.” You go up to Kuroo to hug him as tight as possible, not wanting to let go of him at this moment. Whispering sweet nothings in his ear to reassure him and ease all of his insecurities.

“I was scared to tell Kenma not because of you but because I’m scared something will change between Kenma and I or even worse something will change between Kenma and you. I would never forgive myself if I was the reason that something bad happened in your friendship. However, what I failed to realize is that by doing this I was causing a rift in our relationship and I’m truly sorry Kuroo. I’m scared of what’ll come after we tell Kenma about us but that doesn’t give me the right to dismiss your feelings and our relationship.” Kuroo stares at you before grabbing your hand, “Well whatever comes we’re going to go through it together, remember?” Kuroo grabs you before pulling you into the couch tickling the sides of your stomach, “Promise me you’ll tell me what’s going on in that big overthinking brain of yours next time.” Your laughter echoes throughout his living room before you shout that you promise in hopes that he’ll stop tickling you.

Kuroo’s reminded that this was just an obstacle in your relationship, the first of many but he’s glad to have a partner that’s as understanding as you. Just as you both stop laughing he’s met with a harsh knock, you both exchange glances at each other than at the door, questioning who it could be? “Kuroo, it’s the weekend you do not have a meeting today liar. I heard you laughing too, so I know you’re in there.” Hearing Kenma at the other end of the door Kuroo shoots you a glance before you grab his hands squeezing them, “In this together, remember?” You get up wanting to show Kuroo you were ready to take initiative for your relationship. Opening the door you greet a confused Kenma, “Hey Ken, what brings you here?”. Kenma’s brows furrow, unsure that you’re even real and standing in front of him right now, “That’s weird because I could ask you the same question? Is this the errand you were talking about?”

You open the door wider showing Kuroo sitting on the couch, Kuroo pats the cushion next to him to get Kenma to sit down. Kenma points at him then to you, still confused as to why you were in Kuroo’s apartment. “Come in Ken, we have some explaining to do.” you shift the conversation knowing that Kenma might need some time to process everything. Kenma sits slowly, not feeling the weird tension he’s felt these past couple of weeks between you and Kuroo. You take a seat right next to Kuroo, grabbing his hand to begin fidgeting with his fingers before he decides to intertwine them. “Ken, Kuroo and I are together, we’ve been together ever since that weekend we came back together.”, looking up you see Kenma’s eyes return back to their relaxed state. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” Kenma looks up at both of you, not showing any signs of anger more so confusion.

“To be honest Ken, I was the one who didn’t want to tell you. Kuroo just wanted to do what felt the most comfortable to me. I was scared things would get awkward between us or you two, I didn’t want anything to change.” Kenma notices how softly Kuroo looks at you while you explain your doubts, “I would never hold anything against you two, you’re both old enough to make decisions. As your friend, I’m happy for you both and thank you for telling me. Just next time please tell me sooner, I thought something terrible happened between you two and you were on the verge of moving out.” Kenma knows you always had a hard time opening up due to the problems your family put you through. Yet seeing Kuroo being next to you, caressing your hand making sure you felt safe while opening up hit a soft spot in his heart. Yeah, you guys were going to be together forever and Kenma would never doubt that. Kenma’s never seen Kuroo so soft with someone before, sure Kuroo was a patient person due to his teacher like qualities. However with you he was so careful like you were made out of glass. He looked at you like you were so beautiful yet something that could be broken if not taken care of properly. He knew if anyone was going to go above and beyond for you romantically it would be Kuroo, the guy’s been crazy about you ever since you moved in with Kenma.

Kenma remembers how you used to dislike Kuroo teasing you but what you didn’t know was that, that was how Kuroo showed his affection. You thought he liked Alisa for the longest time because he never teased her but Kenma always laughed at that conclusion. He never teased Alisa because he wasn’t comfortable enough with her, it was always going to be you. Everyone around you knew that one way or another you two would end up together and he’s glad you see it now too. “Is that why you’ve both been acting so weird? I knew something was off, you started blushing whenever Kuroo came over and Kuroo became super quiet anytime I mentioned you.” Kuroo and you looked away from each other feeling suddenly exposed by Kenma analyzing your offbeat yet longing behavior. “I mean Kuroo would never shut up anytime I mentioned you, talking about how cute you were, how you were so caring, and how amazing you handle yourself! So for him to shut up? You must have him in a chokehold.” Kuroo coughs loudly, “Okay that’s enough out of you Kenma. No need to mention the past.” You laugh gently nudging Kuroo aside, “No no, Kenma tell me more.”

Kenma takes a while to remember Kuroo’s strange behavior towards you, “Well after we moved in together Kuroo came over everyday for a week straight because he was trying to work himself up to talk to you. You should’ve seen him, he was practicing talking to you in our bathroom mirror but when you would come home he would suddenly forget everything he practiced.” Kenma and you giggle, Kenma remembering Kuroo’s fake confidence while Kuroo rolls his eyes. “Well that doesn’t matter because they’re mine now, isn’t that right sweetheart?” Kuroo kisses your cheek. Reminiscing on the sleepless nights where you helplessly consumed all of his thoughts, oh how lucky he was now that you’re actually his. Now, he could scream from the rooftops that you were together, post those cringey pictures on social media flaunting his relationship, and he would tell anyone how amazing his partner was to anyone who would be willing to listen.

Kenma grimaces because even though he was happy for you two oblivious idiots, it didn't mean he had to get used to you guys’ PDA. “Well Kuroo they aren’t innocent either.”, you look over at Kenma, laughing. “Ken no offense you have nothing on me, I just thought Kuroo was a teasing jerk.”, Kenma looks over at you while his face says really? “Ok then why would every time I mention Kuroo to you you would start stuttering your words? Or that one time we got drunk and we played truth or dare and you said you wanted to kiss Kuroo even if it was just once?” You rush over to Kenma covering his mouth, “How dare you? You said you would never tell that story!” Kuroo is the one laughing with Kenma, “Aww bunny, you always had a soft spot for me didn’t you? I knew you never hated my teasing you masochist.” You cover your face with your hands feeling more embarrassed than ever, “I hate you both now. You’ve both been demoted from best friend and boyfriend to roommate and boy I tolerate.”

“Kuroo, since I’ve been demoted to roommate, that reminds me. No, you can’t steal my roommate from me. When they’re gone for too long the apartment is eerie and cold.” You slightly pull back from your hands to face Kenma, “Ok Ken from now on, Kuroo will come to our apartment instead of me going to his, so now we’ll both be there.” Kenma nods feeling a bit better that you won’t be going missing from the apartment for so long. “Do I have any say in this?” Kuroo questions before you shake your head jokingly and begin to pet his head. Kuroo deflates knowing he was never going to win in an argument between his two biggest weaknesses, you and Kenma. “So you’re telling me every time you stayed at Alisa’s you were really at Kuroo’s?” Kenma's face scrunches in disgust. “Don’t think like that Ken, gross!” Kuroo, offended, places a hand on his chest. “Plus Ken, we were just going on date’s and having movie night. Nothing like that!”, you shake your hands while Kuroo smirks. “Yeah Kenma, most we did was make out.”, you smack Kuroo’s chest while Kenma makes a bleh noise.

“Well, I’m going to head back to the apartment. Are you guys coming over too?” Kenma looks at the both of you. “Yeah, well I have to grab a bag to stay the night but we’ll meet you there!” Kuroo gets up to go pack for the night ahead while you get up to go bid him farewell. As soon as you reach for the door Kenma stops you, “I’ve never seen Kuroo look at anyone the way he looks at you, you deserve each other.” Kenma closes the door while you stood starstruck, in awe that someone who’s known Kuroo for so long would say that he’s seeing something he’s never seen before. Just as you’re stuck in thought Kuroo comes up from behind you, “You ready baby?” You turn around grabbing Kuroo and pulling him into a deep kiss.

Kuroo pulls back, “Well I was only gone for a couple of minutes but hello to you too, I guess.” Kuroo smirks as you send him a wide smile, “I love you Tetsu, I love you so much.”. Kuroo pulls back shocked that you said you loved him first, stuttering he finds himself speechless at your bold actions. “Close your mouth Tetsu, now let’s go before Kenma leaves us.”, you start taking off but feel a strong tug pulling you back. “I love you too bunny. Now let’s go.” Kuroo pecks your lips sweetly making sure to get the last word just to tease you, that is how he shows his affection after all. Both of you leaving towards your apartment feeling better than when you arrived, you loved Kuroo and that will never have to be kept a secret ever again.

divider credit to @/vase-of-lilies, @/bunnysrph, and @/thecutestgrotto

@m3l0nfl0at on tumblr. All Rights Reserved. Do not steal, copy, or translate any of my works.

[genderqueerdykes]

I am a trans man who abandoned my previous account because i needed to leave the community.

The trauma and self hatred runs so deep that despite it being months i still can't think of my masculinity as anything other than wrong. Not just that, but leaving made me happier. Not having community made me happier. Think about that.

At least now I can see i deserve better. But it's hard knowing that my love and support was so summarily rejected by the transfems on this site.

i'm really sorry you've had to go through this, anon. you shouldn't have to do that

the thing is people don't realize that while this online fighting is pointless, it does hurt people. and it can cause genuine trauma because it IS abuse. abuse doesn't have to occur in person to be legitimate. a lot of acts of abuse and violence can be committed remotely with modern technology. basically anywhere people can interact, abuse can happen. this is actually hurting and scarring people in real ways and we need to acknowledge this

Not just that, but leaving made me happier. Not having community made me happier. Think about that.

the fucked up thing is i feel the exact same way. i interact with community on here in order to educate but outside of this, i currently do not interact with the queer community. once im off this blog, i'm not really interacting with queer community, i will talk to my queer friends and engage in my own queerness, but i am not thinking about the community for the vast majority of my day. i'm not interested in trying to casually go to a trans space and be misgendered all the time.

i immersed myself in my local punk community last year and all that happened to me was that i got a lot of hollow compliments, condescended to, talked over, fetishized, treated as a sex object, descriminated against, had people stop respecting me the instant they found out i was a trans man, had people try to tranny chase me for being a trans man with a vagina, got called too whiny and emotional, got accused of hating trans women because i'm a transmasc lesbian, got mocked for not having a penis, watched my roommate treat me with annoyance that wasn't there prior, felt alienated in my own home, and just in general felt ashamed that i wasn't an amab trans woman, because those were the only trans people who hung out there for any substantial amount of time

the transmascs and trans men never hung around for too long. the majority of the trans punks who showed up were transfem. like. almost all of them. it was rare to find another transmasc, and i can work a crowd, i don't feel scared or uncomfortable in crowds, so i will talk to just about anyone who acknowledges my presence. i met so many transfem punks that i've lost count, and about 3 or 4 transmascs. it frustrated me and took a while for me to realize why. that place was deeply transandrophobic. the regulars did not treat transmascs with kindness. i was actually sexually assaulted by one of the transfems there multiple times, and had another that was trying to come on to me because i have to do stretches for my lower back or else it locks up, and she saw this as an invitation for sex. my ex gf started treating me completely differently the second she discovered i didn't have a penis, to the point of actually progressing to yelling at me for being too whiny and emotional. the cis gay men that were there would talk about how breasts and vaginas were gross because they were gay men right next to me.

after leaving that community i feel so much better. i'm basically on my own, i don't mind it, that's how i like to live my life as a schizophrenic person, but outside of the way i interact with the community as someone who participates in education and activism, i don't really interact with queer communities. i'm tired of being harassed, targeted, insulted, misgendered, sexualized, and getting sexually assaulted.

this is the really sad truth right now. transmascs and trans men in particular usually live outside of queer communities. we are so alienated. that's the entire reason people think we don't exist. it's because so many people will not let us exist inside of queer spaces, so we have to live elsewhere. so many trans men end up having to have mostly cishet friends to avoid drama and harassment. it's not that we don't exist- it's that a lot of people just will not let us take up space in queer communities long enough for people to see how many of us there are. there are a lot of us, but we aren't being allowed to exist inside of queer spaces, so people trick themselves into thinking we're not real trans people

you do deserve better. i hope in time the trans community learns to treat trans men better. you don't deserve to have to alienate yourself like that, but that's just how things are right now. take care of yourself. you're important even if people don't want you to feel like you are.

[that-basic-simp]

Wasted

Mizu x Fem!Reader CW: Overuse of alcohol WC: 1.4k+ A/N: Uses he/him and she/her pronouns. Depends on who is around Mizu.

"I thought you didn't drink," Akemi said to Mizu.

Her arms were folded against one another and her forehead was resting on her forearms.

"I don't," she hiccuped.

"Then why do it?" I asked, nudging Mizu with a chopstick.

"Stop that, Y/N," she slurred.

"Just making sure you're alive."

"I am," she breathed in deeply, exhaling loudly. "Slowly dying and regretting this decision."

"Looks like you found something you could beat Mizu at," I looked over at Taigen.

"He should know better to not challenge me," Taigen smirked.

Mizu, without raising her head, raised her hand and flipped him off.

"I'm going to have to drag you out of here again, aren't I?"

"I'm sorry, Y/N," she said.

"It's fine. Not like we're not dating or anything."

Her head lifted up and she squinted at me, "We're dating?"

"Yes," I said smiling, seeing her flushed face. It was always cute whenever her face is either pink or red. It's especially cute with her Rudolph nose on cold days.

"How did I land someone like you?"

"I was about to ask the same question," Taigen smirked once more at me.

I shot him a glare and grabbed underneath Mizu's arm, hoisting her up.

"Thanks for the night, guys," I waved to Akemi and Taigen.

Walking out of the bar, I made sure one of Mizu's arms was wrapped around my shoulders while I held her by the belt she was wearing.

"Come on, Mizu. I'm not strong like you, but you need to help me out here."

"I'm trying," she hiccuped once more.

"Should I call Ringo?"

"N-No," she shook her head. "It's not like our apartment is far."

"I know. But I hate walking all that way when you're barely standing. You need to know your limits when it comes to alcohol. And Taigen."

"He just wants me drunk so he can fight me. That's the only way he can really win and he knows it."

"Then why do it?"

"Because I know you'll step in and prevent it."

"That is if I am with you. I can't help you out if I am not there, Mizu."

"I know."

I hoisted her up a bit before walking towards the apartment. We lived together with Ringo, as they are roommates. I know Ringo is not going to enjoy this. Especially since this is the second time she has gotten drunk like this within the week. Reaching the apartment building, I grabbed my key and headed inside, making my way towards the elevator. There was no way I could carry Mizu up the stairs in the current state she was in. She could barely lift her feet. Standing by the elevator doors, they opened up and I stepped in, pressing the button.

"Y/N?" Mizu asked.

"Yes, Mizu?"

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For getting like this," she said, tears dripping onto the floor.

The worst thing about Mizu being drunk was she got sad. She was a sad drunk. I think that's why she doesn't touch alcohol in the first place. Unlike Taigen who gets loud and celebrates, Mizu's past comes back to her and she begins to do things that I worry about. Such as mumbling about how she was seen as a monster and how she would be better off not here. It scared me, but I'd always keep a close eye on her.

"Mizu, there's nothing to be sorry about."

"But you have to take care of me when I get like this. Make sure I don't do anything bad to myself."

"I'm always going to look after you, Mizu. No matter what state you're in."

"I don't deserve you."

"But you do," I said as the elevator doors opened.

Stumbling down the hall, I found our door and unlocked it, announcing myself to Ringo who was in the kitchen.

"Drunk again?" he asked.

"Unfortunately," I said, tossing my keys onto the counter.

"I'll start getting something made for her hangover."

"Thanks, Ringo," I walked over to the couch.

Removing her arm, I slowly lowered her to the couch and she laid down, her eyes blinking like a frog's.

"Get some rest, Mizu," I said, rubbing my hand up and down her arm, kissing her forehead.

"You're pretty," she smiled at me.

"So are you," I said and walked towards Ringo.

"Was he planning on fighting Mizu again?" Ringo asked as I helped him.

"Yes."

"That's the second time this week."

"Well, Mizu did kind of hand his ass back to him in their last sparring match."

"Rightfully so. Mizu is better than Taigen will ever be."

"But Taigen can't let that go. That there is someone out there who is better than him."

"Do you think it's because they once knew each other?"

"Maybe. Either way, he needs to let go of his resentment towards Mizu. Even if he does act friendly around her, I know the minute they're alone he would take any chance to rip out Mizu's throat."

"You do a lot for her," Ringo said.

"So do you."

"But you're her significant other."

"Yeah," I said.

"Do you find it tiring?"

"No," I said without hesitation. "I love Mizu. And Mizu, while she has trouble showing love at times, she does love me."

Ringo handed me a bowl once he had finished. Walking over to where Mizu was, I knelt down beside her. Shaking her awake slightly, her eyes blinked open.

"Here, drink this," I handed her the bowl.

Lightly placing her lips to the rim, the broth slipped down her throat. She lurched forward and spit it out, coughing slightly.

"Too much?" I asked.

She shook her head, "H-Hot."

"Sorry, Mizu."

I waited a few minutes until we repeated it. This time it was a bit colder for her. Once she finished, I walked over to the kitchen and placed the bowl in the sink, since Ringo had gone to bed. Grabbing a towel, I cleaned up the mess as Mizu was laying on her back now.

"Feeling any better?"

"Kind of," she mumbled.

Once I had finished cleaning up, I walked over to her, sitting on the edge of the couch. Tears were filling her eyes and they slowly rolled down her cheeks. Reaching over, I wiped a few of them away.

"Why do you do this?"

"Do what?"

"Take care of me?"

"Because I love you, Mizu."

"Why?"

"Why? Why do I love you?"

"Yeah. Sometimes I ask why you love me. How you could have fallen in love with someone like me."

"Well, at first it was your eyes that drew me in. Then it was your strong and sometimes ill mannered temper. Then it was your strength. Both physically and mentally. Y-You're someone I always wanted to be, Mizu."

"A monster?"

"In control of your fate."

"How am I in control?"

"You could have let revenge overtake you when Taigen was trying to be friendly towards you. I know you have a bit of a rivalry going on, but it makes you stronger. It just shows you're more in control of your emotions and everything. Mizu," I reached down and intertwined my hand with hers. "I love you for who you are, not what you are."

"You love a monster, Y/N."

"I love you, Mizu. I don't care if you view yourself as a monster, because you're not one to me. You're not one to Ringo. You're Mizu to us."

She let out a sigh, a small smile tugging at her lips as she turned and faced me.

"I love you, Y/N."

"I love you, too, Mizu," I leaned down and pressed a kiss to her cheek. "Let's get you to bed."

I helped her get up, since she was still a bit hungover. We didn't even take one step when she tripped, causing me to fall and she fell on top of me.

"M-Mizu," I tried to get her up, but she was passed out.

I let out a sigh, trying to think about how to get out of this situation. Mizu was heavy, in terms of muscle mass, and I couldn't dead lift her even if I tried. Sighing, I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around her, holding her tight.

"Goodnight, Mizu."

In the morning, I blinked my eyes open and found Mizu resting on my chest, looking up at me, a smirk on her face.

"Morning to you, too, Mizu," I said.

"Morning," she said.

"What's with the smirk on your face?"

"Nothing," she said.

"Mizu," I said sternly.

"Alright, fine. I was awake when I fell on you last night."

"You were?!"

"Yep."

"How come you didn't get up? I slept terribly on the ground with you on top of me."

"Figured it was cute," she smirked.

"Ha-ha," I said, shoving her off of me.

"Hey!"

"Maybe next time I'll let Taigen beat the shit out of you."

"You'd never let that happen," Mizu stood up, stumbling slightly.

"You never know," I said.

"I know you too well, Y/N. The minute he'd come too close to me while I am drunk, you're getting me out of there."

"Next time I won't. Maybe you'll learn your lesson," I smiled cheekily at her.

"Asshole," she said in a flat tone.

"Dipshit," I said.

We both smiled at one another, knowing it was a term of endearment for us.

[lemotmo]

Ahhhhhhhhhh

Episode was honestly really good. I loved the Madney of it all. And the buddie of it all. And the Eddie of it all and the Eddie and Chris of it all.

We got to see Madney being the power couple they are all episode.

See Eddie struggling and doing what he needs to do for his kid.

Chris and Eddie stumbled this episode but the end paid off. I do feel like dropping us off weeks into them reconnecting was a bit of a misstep because it felt slightly off even with us being able to feel time passing in universe through out the episode. But that hug and I love you dad at the end was just 😭😭 you just know it made Eddie’s entire month right then and there.

The Diaz parents. Mostly Helena annoyed me so much. Ramon tried to comfort Eddie but he still allowed Helena to make her little comments and shit 😒 and in front of Chris no less.

The buddie of it all was once again front and center. The foreshadowing with the fire captain? How his last recruit ran off with his wife he loved because she got a promotion.

Eddie saying I’m single you don’t have to worry about me you’ll never regret hiring me. And then us very much seeing and hearing him and Buck acting like husbands the entire episode. And they were not subtle about it at all. Literally every time something happened we immediately saw Eddie face timing with Buck. The Bobby said he always has a job waiting for him. The couch theory of it all?? Hello?? I might need your couch? Buddie roommate era I see you coming. The I appreciate you Buck 😭.

Which also hello the Madney and Buddie parallels all episode long. Chim being Maddie’s safe space. Buck being Eddie’s. Maddie constantly turning to Chim when she was scared or frustrated or lost. Eddie constantly turning to Buck when he was scared or frustrated or lost. Like 10 out of 10. Well done 911.

And Buck and him actually discussing Chris and how to proceed like actual coparents? Again 10 out of 10.

And the color theories. They went sooo hard last night. The blue and yellow of it all. The red and Blue of it all.

The Eddie uber driver was honestly kinda hilarious lmao. He was such a weird dork the entire time and it’s like this is who Evan Buckley is waxing sonnets about in La ladies and gentlemen 😂😂 they truly deserve each other 😂😂😂

Can’t wait to hear your thoughts !

YES Nonny! I share so many thoughts with you! I agree on all of this!

I posted my own thoughts here. But there was so much that you mentioned that I agree with as well.

I do wish that we had seen more of the Chris and Eddie reunion. That is about the only thing I'm sad about in this episode. All the rest of it? Top tier storytelling.

The Madney / Buddie parallels were insane!

Buck and Eddie felt like husbands throughout the entire episode. It was perfection! 🤗

Since 12 already went hard with the Buddie of it all, I do wonder what they are going to show us in 13 to top it all. 🤔

The Eddie and Chris story has been resolved. So both of them might be thinking of going back to LA. Helena might object to that, so that could be a big part of next week's story. I wonder if they'll talk about the will at all and that will make Eddie think a bit more about Buck and his relationship with him. Hmmmm... so many questions and no answers.

We'll have to wait an entire week! AAAAH!

[trashmouth-richie]

for the hih bonus features can we get eddie x tooty first fight after everything happened 🥹💗

anon🫡🫡 i have been wanting to write something like this for such a long time, i hope you like it. ❤️

masterlist — one year of hih anniversary

you weren’t used to this. 

  the doting, the constant reassurance to see if you were okay. more doting. always a calm voice. Eddie cared—loved you bigger than anyone ever has, and you loved him equally as much.

  but something dragged, crawled against your skin in piercing talons when he treated you as if you were helpless, as if you weren’t capable of doing things on your own. 

  it came out in a snap. a bitchy tone that eddie hadn’t heard since the early days of being your roommate. 

  it startled him. and he froze, not sure if you were serious. so he looked at you with hurt eyes. “what?”

  “i can cut my own fucking steak, eddie.” 

  steve stopped with his lips pressed to his wine glass, scared to move, eyes wide bracing for the car crash that would take place across from the dining room table. 

  eddie sets the knife down, slides your plate back over to you, “just trying to be nice, baby.” 

  with a huff, and a screeching scratch of the chair carving the wood floor under your weight, you throw the cloth napkin onto the porcelain plate, leaving the room in a quick stomp. 

  steve whistles low, “i know those stomps, you’re in the dog house man,” he takes a generous sip of his wine, wiping his face with the back of his hand, “sleep on the pullout in the basement tonight… it’s not too uncomfortable.” 

  eddie rolls his eyes, throwing a dinner roll into steve’s chest, “you’re not helping dickwad.” 

  “easy” steve tries, “better go find out what you did wrong.” 

  “fuck.”

  he finds you fuming, wearing a path in the carpet in your shared room at steve’s, tears welled but not ready to fall. 

  “babe?” eddie asks, shutting the door quietly, unthreading his chain wallet from his jeans setting it on the dresser, “are you… okay?”

  “jesus christ eddie!” you snap, “i’m fine— more than fine!” 

  eddie looks at you blankly, “you don’t look fine.” 

  “oh yeah? of course when it comes to me, you have all the answers, huh?”  

  “the fuck is that supposed to mean?” 

  im okay eddie! i don’t need you to constantly ask if im feeling okay, or if im comfortable or if i need anything!” 

  “thats what boyfriends do, babe.” 

  “No— no no no no!” you say pulling at your hair, frustrated beyond recognition, angry tears falling, “you treat me like i’m made of glass, like one step the wrong way and i’ll break! ever since i’ve gotten out of the hospital you’ve treated me like a fucking porcelain doll!” 

  “you almost died, remember that?” eddie says defensively, peering down at you, “i’m never going to forgive myself, or forget what happened, tooty—” his voice breaks but he swallows it down. 

  “we can’t keep living in the past eddie! it happened, it’s over with, i’m not a fucking little kid!” 

  he’s yelling now, voice angry and filled with sad rage, “i won’t forget! every single day— every time i look at you i think of what would have happened if i was there… how i could have stopped him!” he runs a hand through his hair in defeat, bottom lip trembling.

   “Fuck, i’m sorry for coddling you, baby, really i am— but right now.. the only thing— the only fucking thing— that keeps me from breaking down and wondering what a loaded gun tastes like—is taking care of you.”

  he grunts at the weight of you flying into him, holding him tight and sobbing into his chest, he kisses your head, his own cheeks wet, as he whispers, “ i’m just trying to makeup for what I couldn’t do that night, baby. ” 

  you kiss him deep smashing your lips to his, peppering i’m sorry’s all over his skin, pulling him onto the bed with you. 

  he’s silent when he cries, sniffling every once in a while as you comb through his hair, his body on yours. 

  you’ve been rubbing slow circles into his scalp. and his tears turn to small kisses

  “it wasn’t your fault eddie, it never was,” you whisper lifting his head in your hands and looking him in the eyes, “i love you.” 

  his face is red, eyelids swollen, “how? how can you love me after that?” 

  you press your lips to his, speaking the only truth that kept you from screaming into the void from wanting to let the grief swallow you whole,  “because you showed up.” 

[kalechipswithasideofkale]

my adrenaline has gone down finally so i feel i can give my thoughts on this season

no more faks! no more! please!

i think the series is taking inspiration from different art movements and genres. season one - surrealism?, season two - modernism?, season three - baroque? im not well versed on this stuff but i definitely noticed they use different forms of art to make the seasons feel different from one another

piggybacking off the earlier bulletin; i think thats also why this season feels like all flash and no substance. whatever movement or era they decided to do with season three is very ou la la oui oui i zam an artist bonjour /nm its very different from the movements they went with in the past seasons. this one feels serious and fancy smancy

i still think they’re going to go through with sydcarmy and this season just solidifies it. syd and carmy are severly mentally ill with issues they need to work out. they dont handle stress and expectations well if at all.

i think some of the things being said by the characters are being taken at face value specifically carmy calling claire peace. i dont think the writers are writing claire to be a source of peace for carmy; hes just so in denial and confused about his emotions he knows he supposed to feel peace from claire but cant figure out why he doesnt

i missed marcus sweeps and tina in this season so much. and syd! i was excited for sweeps to go to wine school only for it to be a one off thing. the tina episode was good but thats the only thing i can think of from the top of my head that she stood out in. marcus’ mom died? but it feels like she didnt die at all? like the weight of his moms death isnt being felt in his character and that made me really sad. i wanted a little more with syd and marcus with their moms :/

im not angry at carmy somehow? i just feel this deep sadness because he is so unlike himself. my initial frustrations with the season made it hard for me to look at his character. now that ive calmed down, he just makes me sad. like thinking about him makes me feel like a wet sausage dude he needs serious help and im scared he’s gonna do something very bad in this next season/part

i was really hoping there would be more parallels between new york carmy and current syd. they might explore it in season 4 and i really hope they do!

where tf was everyone else in the emergency room and why was it the two faks. there is no dissection in the world that will make me okay with those losers being there im sawry

syd being the first person sugar called and claire being the last mhm yup 🙂‍↕️

a good chunk of claire and carmys scenes being muted or cool colors once again!

RICHIE AND HIS DAUGHTER AA!! i wish they had an entire episode dedicated to them theyre so cute!

theres something to be said about loneliness and isolation this season? again i would need to rewatch the season. something something carmy pushing syd away something something nat fearing giving birth because of her mom something something syd having a breakdown and isolating herself from the rest of the fam something something

pete ❤️

chris you have reached ur limit on white male characters enough is enough theres NO MORE ROOM

ngl i actually liked seeing john cena on my screen yall pls

why are we so close to everyones face i zont like zat at all

i thought they were going to bring louis back and got so excited!!! BRING BACK LOUIS

they wrap up the claire storyline by season 4 or part three?? whatever theyre doing idk

LUCA!!!!!!

as much one sided beef i have with jlc she delivered i crode very hard

backseating the characters of color is very lame and bogus! i hated it! what happened to tinas friends she met at school? does ebra not have family? syd and her dad? marcus and his roommate? so many characters they could introduce from sydney marcus tina ebra fuck even angel and manny but they insist on introducing characters that have ties to the berzattos. i hate it! i really do!

syds apartment? where did you go fren….

i wish they were more artsy fartsy with carmys internal struggles give me cringe film student vibes please ill take anything

FUCK CICERO he didnt do anything but PISS ME OFF >:(

why didnt they have syd work out the economics (or whatever tf that computer dude did do). didnt she do something like that in season one? i guess since cicero called him it makes sense

richie and nat are so adorable i love them!!!!

overall pretty mediocre season. it was okay for a show like the bear. i don’t agree with having an entire season dedicated to build up! or atleast in the way they’ve done it in season 3. season 1 was a prologue for the entire show yet it still felt like a complete season. alot of the things that went down in season three either could’ve been compressed into a shorter span of time or they could’ve gotten more episodes (as if its that easy lol but the pacing wouldn’t have suffered as much if the season was longer). um decent season? i dont hate it! i dont love it either. like i said it feels soulless and maybe thats the intention? idk man 😔

i will most definitely be seated for season four TRUST

[pinkthrone445]

hi my love! I hope you are well. <3

can I suggest a smut + fluff where the reader is insecure about some scars she has on her body, and the poor girl is scared that Melissa won't find her pretty? And when Mel finds out about this, does she show how beautiful and precious Y/N is to her?

Thanks for the sweet request! I'm good and I hope you´re too. I also hope that you like this💕

🎄Happy holidays yall! Smutsanta it's bringing hot requests for naughty people and your names are on my naughty list! Enjoy!🎄

~Let me remind you~

Pairing:Melissa Schemmenti x Reader

Gender: Fluff - Smut ⚠️

Warnlings : (+18) strong words, fingering, vulgar language. Age gap(legal)

Summary:The thought of being intimate with the redhead was scary and your insecurities played tricks on you, but Mel takes care of chasing away all your fears.

Tired, that's how you felt. Your mind anywhere but where you should be paying attention, on the professor who was talking in front of you explaining the important topics that would go into your next exam. In your mind, the last conversation with your girlfriend, Melissa, kept playing

-"I can't believe that this is your last exam and you'll already be an elementary school teacher, and it's so good that you're already assured of a position at Abbott when you leave here from college. We should celebrate this! What do you think about renting a cabin for the two of us for the weekend? We could have a relaxing soak in a hot tub, go to a restaurant, spend a lot of time together..."-Spending a lot of time together, that played over and over in your head. You and Melissa had been dating for a couple of months, because of her schedule and yours, you had never been together too much time like a whole weekend, a weekend dedicated just to you and her. While you were excited to spend so much time with her, it also made you nervous to think about how intimate it would be. The times you and Mel had been together before, it had been in a hurry, a quick visit to the dorm room at the university, where she didn't have time to completely undress you and only took off your pants to put her hand inside to make you cum before your roommate arrived, or a quick visits to her school, where you went to her car to do it, where there wasn't much room and she couldn't see you well.

But this time would be different, Melissa would have all the time and space in the world to be with you and see your body, see every inch of your body. See every imperfection on your body. A sigh left your lips, you felt sad just imagining her seeing you completely naked, and if she didn't like it? What if she regretted being with you? What if she was disgusted? It would be hard to go to the same school to work if you knew she was disgusted by you or if she couldn't stand to see you.

The sound of your teacher ending class and your classmates getting up to leave, took you out of your thoughts. After taking your things, you went back to your room. A couple of hours later, your cell phone rang, it was a message from Melissa, to know if you would go out together, to book the cabin. Although you weighed in on a thousand excuses, none of them carried enough weight to tell her that you wouldn't go, so you ended up accepting your girlfriend's invitation.

As the weekend approached, your nerves grew bigger and bigger, the knot in your stomach hurt more, and you had more and more doubts about whether you would be able to do so.

The day arrived and Melissa excitedly picked you up on campus, helped you carry your bag to the car and let you choose the playlist while she drove. When you arrived at the cabin, it was a beautiful and very decorated place, it was a romantic and delicate house, so romantic that the only thing it did was make your nerves grow.

Melissa had made many plans to make the most of the weekend, romantic dinners, evening walks on the beach, brought movies to watch, and asked to be left with groceries at the cabin so she could cook your favorite meal for you. But your mind only traveled to the same moment, the moment when you're in bed together and she sees you completely naked. You tried to avoid it by doing it somewhere else where she couldn't completely see you. When you were in the restaurant having dinner, you proposed to go to the bathroom because you knew that they would have little room and it would have to be fast, but the redhead denied saying that she felt too full to move. When you walked along the beach you proposed it to her again, since there was little light and she couldn't see you very well, but Mel shook her head again, saying how uncomfortable it was after having to scoop out the sand that sticks to every inch of your body. With no other ideas, you sighed and didn't keep trying.

Arriving home, while Mel was putting down her coat, you went upstairs to the room planning what to do, but you were startled when you felt the redhead's hands on your waist as she kissed your shoulders

-"Don't panic, it's just me... Let me tell you, that dress looks beautiful on you and I'm so happy we were able to go out together, it feels nice to spend time with you without hurries..."-She spoke in a soft, loving voice, and you smiled

-"You look beautiful too... Thank you for everything you planned..."-You replied smiling but a sigh left your lips and the redhead looked at you worriedly

-"Are you okay hon?"-Mel asked turning to see you face to face and you nodded not very convinced, your eyes were a little watery from the fear you had and that did not go unnoticed by her, it only worried her more and she hugged you tightly-"hey hey, What's going on? You know you can trust me"

-"I know, it's just something very stupid..."-You whispered and she frowned

-"It's not a stupid thing if it makes you want to cry"-Mel kissed your forehead and you sighed hiding in her neck

-"Can I ask you something?"- You whispered against her neck and she nodded, gently massaging your back-"I know this weekend is just for us, to enjoy and have a good time, but when we do, sex I mean, can it be with the lights off?"-Your voice was just a whisper, like the voice of a frightened child, or like when you try to scream in a dream and your voice doesn't come out. The redhead looked at you confused, stopping her caresses

-"Why are you asking for that hon? It's not the first time we'll do it, plus if you don't want to do it you could have told me, you know I would never force you to do anything, it just confuses me that you were quite insistent on doing it in different places earlier tonight...If it's because you're not waxed, I've told you before that I don't care"-Melissa looked at you trying to figure out the reason and you sighed

-"It's not that... The previous times we've done it, you haven't seen me, you've only touched me, you never took all my clothes off... And I'm embarrassed... I'm ashamed and scared that now that you'll have time to take a good look at me, you won't like what you see"-You responded by avoiding her gaze and she gently grabbed your cheeks to get you to pay attention to her

-"You have a perfect body, what are you talking about?..."- she asked with concern in her voice

-"It's not perfect... You only say that because you haven't seen it, but it's full of marks and some scars... My previous boyfriends and friends made it very clear to me how ugly my body looks with that..."You answered and now it was her turn to sigh shaking her head

-"My love... No one it's perfect, we all have our flaws, I mean, look at how many wrinkles I have or how the skin on my arms hangs a little... And let's not start talking about how the years had left my crotch... But, when we are with the right person, it doesn't matter anymore how ugly we see ourselves, we can be perfect in someone else's eyes. The things you are ashamed of, will only become reasons to love yourself more in the eyes of the right person. Where you see scars that embarrass you, I see reminders of how strong you are, it should never be a reason to feel ashamed, but to feel proud. The marks on your body show life experiences, no one would ever complain about the words and marks we find written on the pages of books that tell us a story, no one should ever complain about the marks on your skin that tell your story. Your body is yours and you shouldn't let anyone say anything bad about it, nor believe them when they do... But when you have doubts and don't feel pretty, I'll be there reminding you every day how perfect you are. Okay?"-Melissa spoke in a soft voice and you nodded still hidden in her neck. She carefully grabbed your blouse-" I want to see you... Can I take off your blouse?"-She asked and you nodded again, pulling back a little so that she could take it off-" Can I take your pants off?"-she asked again and you nodded, letting her do it. Mel very carefully and delicately removed your bra, knelt carefully at your feet, and also removed your underwear. A shiver ran through your body and you tried to cover yourself with your hands when she stood up in front of you, looking at you very intensely, but the redhead didn't let you. She took your hands gently, kissed your knuckles and then took your waist carefully, you thought maybe she would start kissing you, but instead, she carefully turned you around making you stand in front of a very large mirror in the room. Seeing yourself so exposed only made you embarrassed and you looked down. Mel clung closer to you, hugging you from behind and resting her head on your shoulder, with her hand she grabbed your chin and made you look in the mirror-"Look at yourself sweetheart, there's nothing wrong with you"-Her fingertips rested gently on your scars, running very gently over them-"Nothing wrong with you, just reasons to love you more... Do you believe me?"-whispered against your ear and kissed your neck

-"I'm trying"-You responded smiling when you felt her kisses

-"I'll kiss you until you believe me"-She replied and you felt how her hands caressed your waist and legs, her mouth leaving kisses and marks on your skin. The whole situation was very intimate, very intoxicating, her perfume and her soft skin surrounding you, her hands running over your body, her soft words and caresses in places that even you wouldn't touch. The shame you had turned into desire, a desire to continue listening to her sweet voice, a desire to continue to feel her caresses, a desire to be in her presence forever. But even so, you were still finding it hard to look at yourself in the mirror. Melissa's hands gently moved to your crotch, parting your folds with one of her fingers, while her other hand massaged one of your breasts, that by the desire and the moment, your nipples were very stiff and hard, very sensitive to her caresses.

A groan left your lips and you closed your eyes resting your head on her shoulder, but that made her stop all her movements. Confused, you opened your eyes and saw her seriousness in the reflection of the mirror

-"I want you to see yourself, or I'll stop my movements... I want you to see how perfect you are and get used to seeing yourself the way you are, I want you to see how I touch you, I want you to see yourself react to my caresses, I want you to see yourself until the moment you come on my fingers"-Mel bit your ear and you let it out a quiet cry. When she saw that you were still looking at yourself in the mirror, she resumed her movements. Her index finger began to caress your sex gently in circles, slowly but firmly. Your hips began to move involuntarily against her hand, wanting to keep up with her, but she pulled you closer to her body. Her crotch brushing against your ass only made you desperate and move more against her. The redhead moaned in your ear and her movements picked up faster. You were overwhelmed by the delicacy of the moment, how could she say such sweet words while her fingers opened and touched you like that. Her touch felt hot and addictive, like the warmth of a campfire when you're cold, her heart beating on your back, heaving and uncontrolled like yours, her breath hot against your neck, her lips giving little kisses and bites on your skin, one of her hands holding you against her crotch while the other hand caressed your button desperately. Feeling and seeing all that in the mirror, made your body start to spasm. But seeing how your breasts began to bounce and your hips moved uncontrollably against her hand made you orgasm on the redhead's fingers. A moan in unison left your lips and hers, with her free hand she took your jaw and kissed you gently while her fingers were still making lazy circles over you clit.

With your body tired and agitated, you turned around hugging her and hiding in her neck again, not out of embarrassment this time, but out of lack of strength. Mel kissed your head and carefully guided you to the bed, still hugging you.

After a couple more rounds and sweet words, you fell asleep on her chest, both of you completely naked and your legs intertwined.

The next day, you woke up when the sun had already risen a couple of hours ago, you were confused by not seeing Mel next to you, but when you heard the noises from the kitchen, you knew that she was surely making breakfast. After stretching a little, you got up to look for something to wear, but you stopped in front of the mirror looking at your completely naked body with a smile, you were full of delicate and soft marks, but especially, Mel had taken it upon herself to kiss and highlight with marks all the contour of your scars, with your fingertips you ran your scars smiling and then you got dressed.

Going down to the dining room, you smiled at all the food on the table and the amazing smell, carefully approached the redhead and hugged her

-"Good morning beautiful, how did you sleep?"-she whispered against your hair and then kissed you

-"So good... I wish this weekend would never end, I don't want to forget everything that happened last night... I appreciate it so much..."-You whispered. Melissa walked away from you and turned on the stereo, smiling as you looked at her in confusion

-"You know, I read an article that said that when we associate a song with a moment, it makes it stick more etched in our memory, I'll put a song, so that every time you hear it or every time you doubt how beautiful you are, you remember this moment, how much I love you and how perfect you are"-She smiled before putting on the song and starting to sing it for you as she hugged you.

(This is the song that Mel it's singing, I dedicate to all the soft souls out there❤️)

[balkanradfem]

So, I've been having a miserable time, and I'm going to write about it, because I thought of something insightful and deep to say about it at the end! It's all gonna make sense. It's a long post so I'm gonna put it under a cut.

If you didn't real my spatula story, in it I tell you about the painful process of buying a single spatula, valuing it above all other objects for the miracles it could do for me, and then having my roommate use it every day and leave it dirty in the sink so I couldn't use it! I have braved up since then and told her that I need that thing and to please wash it, and this is where we left of.

Some time later, I went to use the spatula, and discovered something bad had happened. The spatula was damaged. It's handle wasn't made out of silicone, but transparent plastic, and my roommate was leaving it on top of boiling pots and the stovetop, to the point where it had melted in several places.

I almost started crying seeing it damaged; I took it to my room, intending to never lend it to anyone again. I went to sleep sad, wondering why I get myself into these situations, and decided to have a comforting no-screen day the next day. I was just going to do my laundry, mess with plants, make fresh bread, read a little, open all the shutters and windows to get fresh air inside, make soothing tea, and remind myself that regardless of one damaged spatula, I can still find so much happiness and peace in life and I shouldn't linger on this grief.

However, as soon as I woke up the next day, my roommate knocked on my door in severe distress; both of her eyes were inflamed, red, she was crying, saying she couldn't see. She told me she's been cleaning mold at work with poisonous chemicals and the fumes must have gotten into her eyes. I realized it must have been bleach she was using, as it's the only thing that works on black mold, and it must have damaged her eyes. I took her to the emergency room.

We had to walk there, and it was a long walk; I was scared about my neck but ultimately worried about her, she was tearing up the entire time. We spent several hours waiting in various lines and waiting rooms, she had me talk to her employer to explain where we are, and the employer decided to come there too. Then finally, she was seen by a doctor, and we found out her retinas had surface injuries. They explained the damage is not permanent, she would get better in a few days, but it will sting horribly for the next two days. She got instructions to get eyedrops and ointment to put in her eyes several times a day, to ease the pain and help the healing process. They put some drops in her eyes and she finally felt a little better and we were all relieved.

We got home, and we still needed to get to her doctor (I didn't even know she had a doctor, or health insurance, but her employer explained it all to me) to get prescription for her medicine, so we could get it at a lower price. We had to walk there too, but even after we did, we found out the doctor left for the day and we'd have to come back tomorrow. We were recommended to just purchase the medicine at the full price and then get it refunded a day later.

So we went to the pharmacy next, and they asked for cash if we wanted a refund later, and she didn't have any, so I paid for the medicine, and by the time we got home it was 2pm, and I was shaken, exhausted, and extremely sad. I put drops and ointment in her eyes, and then made us both a big soup, because I knew she couldn't cook in this state, and I wouldn't have her starving.

When the emergency part was over, I was once again... sad about my spatula. Because I couldn't get people to not damage my stuff, and then I couldn't get my comfort day to deal with the grief, and now I spent a whole day in panic and helping someone else and I realized that for some reason, caring for other people makes me feel bad. I don't think I was like this before but I could tell I was absolutely miserable about everything that went on that day. I was no longer in a state to calm down on my own, so I clinged to my laptop for support.

Later in the evening, I went out just to get an internet connection for a bit, to reply to a few messages, and when I came out, it was snowing. It was the most beautiful, magical scene you could imagine. Tiny little snowflakes, falling so slowly, so it looked like the entire air was glittering. Lamps were giving them a warm glow. I was mesmerized. And I decided, you know what, it's not that bad. This makes me feel better about everything. If I get a magical winterland scene at the end of the day, I'm satisfied. This will fix me.

So the next day! I wake up sad, but I cheer up thinking this is going to be my new no-screen day. I do my laundry, transplant my plants, write some things down, start making my bread. I make oat milk and then decide to make some smoothies with it. I ask my roommate if she wants some food and she says no, she can cook on her own now. Great, I think! But then she comes to me distressed, asking me to talk to her employer for her. It turned out her employer wanted her to go work that day, which is absolutely insane, and I had to spend some time patiently explaining to her that no, half-blind woman with burning eyes cannot go to work this day, my god. She reluctantly backed off and I let my roommate taste the smoothies I've made, and I gave her half of her favourite one (it was chocolate!).

We still needed to get that prescription we didn't get yesterday, and I was dreading it, cozied in my bed reading and thinking about how I'm going to pull that off, because at this point my neck was upset at me for walking,I couldn't walk two days in a row. I could barely stand up without pain. My roommate came to my room to notify me, that she's going off to be at a friend's place and she won't come back until tomorrow. I remind her that we still need to go to the hospital, and she looks confused and sad. I offered we could go immediately, so she could go to her friend right after. She agreed and I got ready, and then instead of walking, I just slowly rode a bike beside her, feeling a bit silly, but at least not adding to the pain.

The doctor was a horrid male who made me feel so uncomfortable I wanted to disappear. I communicated to him we needed prescription for medicine and he wrote it wrongly, and a nurse had to write a new one. I realized she was covering for him yesterday too when he left before his shift ended. Poor woman. After we left the hospital, the roommate immediately tried to ditch me, and I once again explained we needed to still go to the pharmacy to get a refund, and at this point I am exasperated. It is so obvious I don't have much money, and I paid for the medicine to make sure she wasn't in pain, and now it was too much effort for her to go with me so I could get some of the money back. I can't do it on my own because it's her documents and I'm only translating what she needs so she could communicate. I helped her get out of work to make sure she was safe even though I hate talking to her employer. I became extremely sad. She followed me to the pharmacy and then left as soon as she could.

When I got home I actually started crying. Not specifically because of this, but because this is a pattern. I regularly take care of my sick roommates only for them to ignore me and avoid me afterwards, I make sure nobody is hungry or in pain while they're living with me, even lend them my things only to get them damaged and broken without a sorry or a replacement. I didn't understand how it kept happening to me; all I wanted was to be humane to people around me. To do anything else but to care for the sick was unimaginable. I still couldn't get anyone to care about my problems, but I didn't particularly want to, I don't like people worrying about me. But to be dismissed and ignored so completely? I felt like I was in charge of a child somehow, forcing them to get trough their chores, even though this roommate is my exact age, and should understand how things work, how plastic melts, how you need to remember scheduled visits to the doctor. Why is this happening?

I went back on my no-screen day, because I was so upset, I needed some gay stuff to feel better, and I watched a bunch of videos I had saved on my laptop, laughed so much, and felt better. And then I got curious, how come this made me feel so much better? I felt like I actually had a great time. Just being reassured there are gays and lesbians out in this world made me feel normal again. It always does. And then I put two and two together. This is happening to me because I'm a lesbian and alone in the straight world, isn't it?

Because I'm single, and alone, and if a woman is alone and single, then it's assumed she is just a support character for everyone else's struggles, isn't it? I obviously have nothing else going on, no male to sacrifice all of my time to, so I am presumed to be a free-for-all resource. If I was in a straight relationship it would be assumed I was busy taking care of a male, but I'm not, so everyone just assumes I'm here... for them. I'm supposed to help the 'normal' people function because I am presumed to have no other goal. So if people are sick and I am just there and willing.. obviously there's no need for them to feel any certain way about it, and it's okay to take it for granted, and not care if they damage something or cost me something, and only come to me when they need something, because I am relegated to being a resource. What else could I be? Obviously nobody wants me since I'm alone and I should be grateful to at least be of help to someone, and be of some sort of use to the society. And this happens to me even though I only communicate, and work for, and live with other women.

And if I lived with other lesbians.. it wouldn't be like this. I would be a normal part of society. I wouldn't be an afterthought, something to use and forget immediately. I would just be a normal person. With my love for a spatula, fascination with gentle snow, and the desire to have a soothing day where I make myself experience joy and comfort. All of this would matter, and be a part of who I am, I could talk about it, I could talk about things that seem so unimportant and irrelevant to everyone here. Even if alone, I would still be presumed to have an inherent value, my personality would count for something.

I kept thinking that some of this is my fault, maybe I act in the wrong way, or I'm too mild, too helpful, too forgiving, but now I see this was set up from the start. If I'm not a resource to a single male, then I'm presumed to be a resource for everyone else.

It makes me so mad to have to live like this. Is anyone else going mad?

[sqgeism]

could you do headcanons where the reader is ganke's cousin and miles fell first but she fell harder? tysm if you will do it<3

╭₊˚ ๑︰he fell first, she fell harder ♡

:★: relationship : miles morales x fem reader

:★: warnings : none, crack & fluff! no atsv spoilers

:★: a/n : suopr old req that i figured i should finish (ㅅ´ ˘ `) huhuoa RAAAGH pls dont be scared of me someone said im kind of intimidating PLZ im just a little guy

"What did I tell you to not do??"

"Fall inlove with your cousin.."

"What did you do???"

"Fall inlove with your cousin..."

"Morales I'm gonna KILL YOU."

I think that it was a sort of love at first sight moment, you walked through that door and his jaw was on the FLOOR. You were so pretty, you immediately smiled and waved at him once you noticed his presence and he was PANICKING in his boots trying to hold himself together.

You and Miles were mostly together when Ganke first brought you over, (of course with some complaining here and there from your favorite cousin) and Miles had the time of his life watching you rant about the smallest things as if they made a big impact in your life.

"POCKETS, MILES! MY DRESS HAS POCKETS!!"

He loved seeing you almost every other day, and after you left the dorm room of him and Ganke, the door closing reveals said roommate standing behind it with crossed arms. "How long have you been standing there..?" Miles raised a brow. "Not important."

"I can tell you've taken a liking to her."

"Have you ever heard of keeping a secret??"

"I don't plan on telling her, infact I wanna help you out. They've been single for so long that it's kinda sad." Ganke shrugged unapologetically as Miles blinked at him in disbelief. "You talk about your cousins like that?"

"Nope, just her."

And so the next 5 hours was Ganke telling Miles all about what you liked, going into detail about the endless date ideas you once rambled to him out of boredom and admittedly he took note of for times like this. Your favorite food, perfumes, type of gifts.. everything was discussed in the span of 5 hours.

If you can imagine Miles taking down notes with visual drawings thats because he can and WILL!! He's a dedicated man, just for you. <3

So for the past year, he's been trying to get you to fall for him. All through little hangouts, messages, calls and the sort.. Blissfully unaware that you had already liked him, just waiting for him to ask you out.

Miles' little mastermind plan was just an addon plus, you had feelings for him after a few weeks of knowing each other. Sure, it started off as a fun little 'happy crush' type of thing till you were up at night staring at your ceiling thinking about Miles' smile till 3AM.

You weren't going to ask first nor make the first move, but you didn't know how much longer you could pretend a mere brush of your shoulder against his doesn't have you thinking about him 24/7.

[flooffybits]

Such A Cliché

A soulmate is a person's other half, so the pain that one feels is a pain shared with the other. However, when circumstances aren't quite agreeable, hurting your soulmate is what you end up doing anyway.

Word count: 6.2k

Warnings: getting burned, yn is an ass, yoohyeon is scared of you, sad jiu, hospitals

A/N: lmao should have been done when I told you guys about it but I wanted to add more but here you go! also please tell me if i made a mistake, i had asked a friend what is unnie in chinese because i thought it would be nicer since dongie is yn's younger sister here

☕buy me a coffee☕

Gahyeon is understandably the last to get out of bed by the time morning comes. She knows that Dong had checked in on her a while ago, but she was too sleepy to even try opening her eyes, and instead batted the older woman’s hand away, grumbling about another five minutes.

So when she finally does decide to get up and get ready, the maknae was confused to see her roommate fussing around the dorm, perfectly dressed like always. “Are you heading out, unnie?” She asked while taking a seat, welcoming the quick peck Siyeon pressed to her cheek as a good morning greeting.

The Chinese woman hummed, smiling as she grabbed her bag and then began to put her hair up into a messy bun. “I’m picking my sister up from the airport today. I thought I told you last night?”

She did. Gahyeon was just too sleepy to retain everything the older woman told her.

“I don’t know why you expect her to remember after just waking up.” Bora teases, also dressed up and ready to accompany the latter. Though her comment did earn a pout from the maknae as she glared at the dancer. “I remember! I’m just still half asleep.” She argues, earning a laugh from the woman next to her before Siyeon pulls her to a hug. “Oh, no need to be so grumpy.” She cooed and Minji finally exited her room in time to see the pair putting their shoes on.

“Oh, you’re leaving already?” She questioned, smiling when she saw the now awake maknae. “Remember to be careful, alright?” She reminds them and Bora grins while giving her a thumbs up. “Like I would let anything happen to my princess.” She says with a puff of her chest and Dong only rolled her eyes in good nature before taking her girlfriend’s hand and tugged. “Let’s go, I don’t want to have her wait too long.”

Bora allowed herself to be pulled out of the dorm, waving goodbye while Dong shouted a quick ‘be right back’.

Once the door closed behind the pair, Gahyeon turned to the leader with her brows pinched together. “I forgot that Y/n unnie was coming.” She suddenly said out loud and Siyeon chuckled while she sipped her coffee. “We figured.”

Still, Gahyeon couldn’t wipe the frown off her face as she sank further in Siyeon’s arms. “Is she going to stay here?” She mumbled and Minji sent her a sympathetic look. “I don’t think so. But Dongie wants us all to hang out.” She explains, making the maknae grimace. “Come on, I know that she isn’t too fond of us, but let’s do it for Dongie.” Siyeon coaxes her before Yubin and Yoohyeon finally come to join them in the main room.

“Dong unnie and Sua unnie already left?” Yubin noted and Minji hummed in confirmation. “I don’t know how Sua unnie is going to adjust, now that Y/n unnie is moving here.” Yoohyeon muttered before Minji gave her a meaningful look. “I know that we don’t get along with her too well, but who knows? Maybe getting to see her often now could help.”

“I hope so.”

..

“Is it obvious that I’m nervous?” Bora blurted out as she scanned the crowded building. She’s been to the airport numerous times and she’s not really antsy with having this many people around her. But it was the fact that she would be seeing you again that had her fidgeting in place.

Dong gave her hand a reassuring squeeze while smiling under her mask. “Relax, unnie. It’s just my sister.” That didn’t help the dancer’s nerves at all. “It’s your sister, the same one who does not like us, by the way.” She reminds and Dong resisted the urge to sigh, her smile slipping away as she looked away.

“She’s just… not adjusted yet. My parents are warming up to me being away and being an idol but Y/n, you have to understand that we were inseparable as kids.” She explained, causing Bora’s lips to purse when she felt the tension her girlfriend was feeling through their link.

She hated that she had to be put in the middle of it all.

You weren’t a bad person, you were just indifferent because of the fact that you had your only sibling stripped away from you at such a young age. You had grown up together until she moved to study in South Korea and eventually became a trainee, going against your parents’ wishes, and leaving you feeling abandoned.

You tried to be supportive of her, but everytime you would see her with her group members, it always felt like you were being reminded of how you had lost your sister to seven people you didn’t know.

It was childish, you had to admit, but you missed her dearly. Dong was your best friend and you protected her at every given moment. So, after a promotion at work, you were given the opportunity to move to a different country. And seeing that South Korea was among your options, your answer was clear as day.

“There she is.”

Bora didn't want to bring the topic up again, knowing how it was a sensitive subject. So she bears the usual grin she always wore before waving her hand in an exaggerated manner, enough for you, and a handful of strangers, to notice the dancer.

You suppress the urge to roll your eyes as you head over, forcing a smile for your sister, and you notice as she lets go of her soulmate's hand to welcome you into a warm hug.

"I can't believe you're actually here." You hear her voice muffled against your shoulder, and your smile becomes more genuine as you pull back to give her a proper once over. "I can't either, but I'm sure you're gonna get sick of my face one of these days now." You joke and Bora smiles from the side, witnessing your true self around your younger sister.

Though as your eyes drifted to her, the dancer smiled and her wave was more tame this time around. "It's been a while. I hope your flight was fine." She attempts and you nod stiffly, expression now blank that Dong has to nudge you. "It was alright, though I think my legs would appreciate the walk."

She's a little surprised, considering you were a little more civil compared to your first meeting years ago. But she takes it either way.

"Well, let's get you to your apartment. I want to hear all about the promotion." Your sister pipes up as she takes your arm and Bora trails after you as you speak, respecting both of your privacy.

Though she does notice how you keep a slow pace to make sure that she isn't too far behind.

..

"You mean she's actually civil, now?" Siyeon asks in disbelief as she sets her cup aside. Her eyes were so wide, it looked like they were about to pop out of their sockets.

"I was expecting her to ignore me the whole time. But she was trying." Bora explained, her face showing how she was also having troubles coming to terms with your new personality. "Then again, you are Dongie's soulmate. It's possible that she's still not too happy with the rest of us but tolerates you." Yoohyeon piped up and Bora turned to her. "I know, I thought of that, too."

Currently, Dong decided to spend a few nights with you to help you adjust, which Minji allowed.

"Dongdong actually told me that they had a serious talk when she went back home." The dancer stated while leaning against Yubin's arm. "But at least she doesn't resent you. She's trying for Dong unnie's sake."

"Dami is right. I'm sure none of us want to have Dongie pick sides. I'd probably do the same if my brother ever finds his soulmate." The leader commented and Gahyeon crinkled her nose. "Unless you find yours first." She teased, making the eldest playfully roll her eyes. "Very funny, but you know I'm not rushing into finding them."

Siyeon hums, already knowing the leader's stance after all these years. "Wouldn't it be funny if your soulmate ended up being Y/n?" Yoohyeon made a sound of protest, looking scandalized as Gahyeon laughed. "Don't say that! I can't imagine Jiu unnie with someone like Y/n unnie."

Bora rolled her eyes this time. "She isn't that bad. We don't even know what she's like aside from that one time and all the stories Dongie told us." She defended and Yubin shrugged her shoulders as she laced her fingers under her chin. "That's true, but all of unnie's stories are different from what Y/n unnie showed us."

"She's a protective older sister who had to let go of her only sibling. I'm sure you can understand how painful that must have been."

No one says anything to counter that. Even when Gahyeon was an only child, she's grown to love all the girls as though they were her own family, so she can't imagine having any of them taken away from her.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, Bora spoke. "Dongie said Y/n was offering dinner for tomorrow." She looked up from her phone, the question in her eyes and Minji struggled a little to find an answer before she took a quick look around.

If Bora said you were fine, then maybe it would be alright.

"Sure. Tell them we'll meet them there."

Maybe that was her mistake.

Minji isn’t sure why, but given that you would be around more often now, she realized that you had to have some sort of civil relationship for your sister’s sake. Dong was as precious to you as she was to all of them. With you much closer now, there was no doubt that you would be around them, whether you liked it or not.

When dinner came around, Dong was leading the group through the restaurant, giving her name before they were brought to the table you had reserved for everyone, though you were nowhere in sight.

“I thought you said she was already here?” Yoohyeon asks cautiously, taking a seat and then looking around the fancy restaurant. “She sure does know how to go all out.” Siyeon comments when she looks at the various decorations and the expensive looking furniture.

Dong laughs at that, but a voice beats her into responding. “Work hard and you get rewarded, I suppose.” All heads turn to you when you finally join them and all but your sister and her soulmate straighten at your appearance.

With a nod, you take a seat beside the pair and then eye each girl. “I’ve already asked Dongie what you girls would like and ordered ahead. Though if you want to add anything, feel free to ask.” You explain, gesturing to the food that was already present on the table and answering Yubin’s silent question.

Minji shifts a little, the tension suffocating, before she decides to speak up. “It’s nice to see you again. I hope your trip was fine.” She says carefully, a kind smile on her features as you raise your eyes to meet hers. “It was alright.” Was your curt reply and Dong rolled her eyes before giving you a nudge on the side.

You give your sister a small glare before clearing your throat. “Right. Well, there was something I’ve been meaning to say.” You tell them and all eyes are on you, all of them listening very carefully while you keep a calm look on your face. “I am aware that my actions towards you all have been very childish and unpleasant.” You begin, and they aren’t sure if you notice the silent exchange they send each other or just chose to ignore it. “I didn’t make the effort to get to know any of you and merely aimed my anger and selfishness towards you all. For that, I’d like to properly apologize.”

The table is quiet for a while, the six girls looking at you in surprise and disbelief, and while you didn’t show it, you were a little nervous.

Thankfully, Yubin manages to recover before offering you a smile. “I understand why you acted the way you did, and it’s okay. I’m sure I would feel the same if I were in your shoes.”  She assures and it’s like a chain reaction before everyone starts talking. “We get it, really. Family is really important to you.” Yoohyeon is the one to say, and while it was different for her, she does understand being separated from a loved one.

Slowly, the tension starts to melt away. And while it was still a little awkward, the girls found a little bit of comfort in your presence the longer you all spoke to one another. Much like Dong when she first arrived in South Korea, you weren’t too talkative.

You were still quietly gauging each of the girls’ personalities, though you knew enough about Bora to know she would take care of your sister, soulmate or not.

They all cared for one another and you could see that your little sister was, in fact, happy where she was. This was her home away from home, and you didn’t have the heart to keep blaming these girls when they made sure she was loved and taken care of.

Resigning to that fact, you decided that maybe this was for the best. You couldn’t cling to your childhood forever and it was probably time to move on.

While you're so stuck in thought, you failed to catch how Yoohyeon had accidentally knocked a bowl with her hand, effectively spilling its contents. Unfortunately, the soup in it was still hot and you were quick to wince when it came in contact with your skin.

What no one was also expecting though, was the yelp that came from across your seat. Minji had clutched her left hand in an attempt to soothe the sudden ache and Dong looked more than surprised as you cradled the exact same hand.

“Unnie, are you alright?" Gahyeon’s question caught your ears and Siyeon’s eyes widened as both you and the leader answered at the same time.

“I'm okay."

The table grew silent as the two of you finally looked up, Minji’s face growing pale when she realized what was happening. She had kept her soulmate link open, and by doing so led her connection to experience the same pain her soulmate was experiencing.

That soulmate… was you.

“I'm, uh, going to ask for more napkins." Yubin quietly muttered as she swiftly left the table and Gahyeon squirmed as her eyes shifted from one person to another. The silence was deafening at this point and Dong wasn't sure how to proceed as she looked towards Bora.

The dancer looked worried above all else, but the disbelief still showed. “I think-”

"Excuse me.”

Dong made a sound of protest as she watched you get up and leave the table. "Jie!” With a quick nod from her girlfriend, your sister quickly followed after you while the rest of the girls did their best to process what just transpired.

"So Jiu unnie’s soulmate…" 

“I can't believe you jinxed it!" Yoohyeon squeaked while Siyeon tended to the leader’s hand, making sure it didn't hurt too much. “Oh god, Jiu unnie is… no, I can't even think about it.” Bora rolled her eyes at the maknae’s antics before she took the napkins from Yubin’s hands and began to wipe away the spilled soup. “Stop acting like Y/n’s some sort of disease."

“But she hates us!" Yoohyeon protested. “How can she be Jiu unnie’s soulmate?" Minji, who had been quiet the whole time, finally snaps out of her daze before looking around to assess what was happening.

She took note of the absence of you and Dong, so she's quickly on her feet and catching everyone off guard. “Unnie?" 

“Where are they?" She almost feels panicked at the thought that you’d left, but Siyeon gently tugs her back down to sit. “Unnie, I think you need to let them talk and let Y/n calm down." She says softly and the leader purses her lips together. "But I… we…"

Bora frowns at her friend before shaking her head. “Just let them talk for now, okay?" And as much as Minji wants to go and chase after you right now, she reluctantly obliged, sitting stiffly in her seat while the others did their best to try and distract her.

It takes around ten minutes before Dong is walking back, a regretful look on her face, and Minji’s shoulders tense up when she doesn't see you anywhere. “Unnie went home." Oh.

Instantly, there's sorrow in the leader's chest with knowing that her soulmate intentionally chose to leave after finding out who she was. While you may not be on the best of terms, she at least hoped that you would open up to the idea and talk to her. Since you were now living in South Korea, she thought this might be your chance to repair the relationship that you had and maybe work on your bond.

But that didn't seem like the case.

“The food’s been paid for but… do you guys still want to stay?” Dong asks with a frown and Minji looks at her with pleading eyes. "Did she leave already?” She can't help asking and Dong gives her a look, analyzing her friend, and she's not sure whether or not she wants to answer.

But she knows Minji.

"She's waiting for her ride.”

That's all it takes for the leader to shoot out of her seat and out of the restaurant in hopes of catching you before your ride gets there. While Yoohyeon and Gahyeon wanted to protest, their respective partners both stopped them.

By the time Minji’s out the door, she feels the chill bite at her skin for a split second before it's mellowed down. Her heart skips a beat at the thought but pushes it down as she focuses on the task at hand. It doesn't take her long to find you though because there's only a few people there. She sees the way you rub your burnt hand and her own skin tingles at the slight pain that lingered.

"Can we talk?”

“You and I have no business with each other that would require-”

“You know that’s not true… not anymore at least.” You were stubborn, Minji knew that. But she wasn’t about to give up on a chance that allowed her to connect with someone on such a deeper level that even her words were no longer needed.

But you were having none of it. Soulmates be damned. You were not about to do that, not with her.

“It’s a stupid connection. It doesn’t mean anything to me.” You turn to give her a sharp look. “It shouldn’t mean anything to you either.” All words die in her throat when a car finally pulls up and you open the door, stepping inside without saying anything more than you already have.

Minji all but watches as you slip from her fingers and disappear into the night, leaving her with an aching heart and shattered hope.

..

“Unnie, are you sure?” Dong pants when she hunches over, hands on her knees while she tries to catch her breath and Minji puts away her nearly empty water bottle, blinking up at the rest of her team with an apologetic look on her face. “I’m sorry, I just keep messing up this one part.” She says regretfully and Bora gives her a look that basically screams “shut up or I just might strangle you”.

“It’s only just a little bit more practice and you girls will be free to go so don’t worry.” Sooyeon promises them and Yubin shakes her head with a grin. “It’s okay, unnie. We can handle it.” However, no one is able to pick up on the wince that the leader shows after finally stretching her arms and legs. Siyeon had only spared her a questioning stare before she’s being bothered by the overgrown puppy of the group as Bora marches in their direction.

“You alright to keep going?” Sooyeon asks her when she sees the leader staring, but Minji is quick to snap out of her thoughts and flashes a grin, nodding her head and calling everyone to attention.

The pain lingers, but she manages to push through until maybe the week after.

She quietly asked Siyeon to get her some hot packs to put on the sore area along with her legs one night before she’s just about ready to call it quits.

“Handong?”

The familiar voice meets everyone’s ears when the door opens and a dancer is quick to point to your sister, who spins around in surprise. “Jie jie! What are you doing here?” She asks when she walks over. “Actually, how did you get here?” She adds with her brows pinched together and you frown before handing her the plastic bag you were carrying. “I have a phone, you idiot.”

Bora walks over to join you, given that you were a little more welcoming of her now that you were living here and managed to get to know her on the few instances Dong had forced you to spend time together. “What’s that you got there?” She inquires while your sister finally looks at the contents of the bag, her face lighting up when she sees a few familiar names inside. “Aww! You didn’t have to come here and bring us food!” She laughed when she noticed the embarrassment on your face.

Minji blanches at the sight of you and basically shrinks next to the maknae who looks worriedly at her. “We can go out if you want, unnie.” She whispers, but the eldest only offers her a smile before shaking her head, letting out a shaky breath. “It’s okay.”

“Anyway, shouldn’t you be at work right now?” Dong asks when Bora takes the bag to set aside, telling everyone that you had gotten something for them, too. “I clocked out early. I wasn’t feeling too good.” You mumble before your sister raises a brow. “So you decided to come here instead of going home and resting?”

“I wanted to be more involved in your life.”

Your sister pauses at your words before a smile blooms across her face and a poke landed on your cheek. “You’re getting soft.” She teased and you crinkle your nose while swatting her hand away. “Shut up and go back to practice. Everyone is looking at us.”

“You love me.”

“Unfortunately.”

With a laugh, Dong skips over to join the rest of her friends while you take a seat on one of the chairs to watch them do their work. While you were someone who worked in the world of business, you were honest when you told your sister that you wished to be more involved. So you pay attention to their choreography with rapt attention.

And while you don’t intend on doing so, your eyes gravitate towards the woman who was, in your opinion, a little more sluggish than she should be. It caused your brows to raise before pain flared throughout the entirety of your left side. Immediately, your hand reaches to try and soothe it, but the pain is persistent so you’re quick to look at the raven haired woman who is trying her best to power through whatever pain she was dealing with without realizing that she still kept her soulmate link open.

Looks like you were more tired than you let on because you did the same.

However, when you began to feel the sudden influx of her pain, your frown only deepened before you decided to slowly absorb whatever it was she was feeling, feeling a little relieved when she starts to move a lot more comfortably than when you arrived.

It’s like that for the rest of their practice as you quietly watched and accepted your soulmate’s discomfort without her knowledge.

“Will you be coming over tonight?” Dong asks when she comes back to you, candy in hand, and you shake your head, wincing when the nausea hits harder. “I just wanted to watch.” She scoffs before lightly punching your arm and you almost curse at how much that hurt. “You could have just gone ahead, dummy.”

Your brows knit together and at this point, Minji was already looking at you from where she stood. “I just felt like it. Now, shut up.” You grumble before swiftly walking out of the room and your sister laughs as she chases after you. “Jie jie, come on!” But your only goal right now was to escape and hide the fact that you had used your soulmate link to help Minji despite how you’ve been ignoring her.

Hell, you’ve been making her feel like utter shit with the way you talked to her since finding out she was your soulmate, but you had no idea that she was dealing with something like this.

“Be sure to eat when you get to your dorm and don’t stay up late.” You instruct as you reach your car, a pout forming on the latter’s lips as she crosses her arms. “Since when did you turn into mom?” She asks and you give her a look before getting inside. “I mean it, Dongdong.”

Sighing, she nods her head before giving you a quick hug and then shutting your door. “I will. Get some rest, okay? You look like you’re about to pass out or something.”

Shooting her a smile, you nod to the rest of the girls over her shoulder, eyes meeting Minji’s before you finally bid them all a goodnight and drive off.

As soon as you’re out of sight, Dong just stands there, but her smile is nowhere in sight as she lowers her hand and frowns in the direction you took. “Dongie?” Bora is quick to her side, noticing the sudden shift in her mood before her girlfriend shook her head. “I’ll check on unnie tomorrow.” Is all she says before she’s leading the two of them to the van that was waiting for them.

..

While you did avoid your soulmate like the plague, you do show up to a handful of their practices ever since then. Minji obviously noticed due to how her eyes would immediately gravitate towards you whenever you entered the room. She didn't mean to, but knowing that you were her soulmate had shifted something within her and she's a little frustrated knowing how your relationship was.

But since the first visit, Minji did notice how she was slowly feeling better. And at one point she did believe that she was finally well rested without knowing that you were the actual reason that she was better. Maybe the only time that she got a hunch was when you didn't come to their practice and she could feel the same throb on her side as before you had come to visit them.

“Y/n isn't here today?" Bora voiced out one time and Minji looked up to see your sister shaking her head in response. “She hasn't been answering any of my texts either so I think she's busy at work.” Dong tells them and Minji can't help but frown.

While you were a busy person, you always had time to text your sister on your whereabouts even though you’ve been living in South Korea for a month now.

"Doesn't unnie usually still text you though?” Yubin voices out Minji’s original thoughts. Even though she's admittedly still intimidated by your presence, Yoohyeon did show concern when she notices a difference in your usual routine. “The last message she sent me was three hours ago. She should be done with work by now.” Dong mumbles while she tries to send you another text. However when there’s still no response from you, she purses her lips before finally dialing your number.

“Maybe she’s just asleep, unnie.”

“She would have told me that she was headed home at least." Dong bites her lip as she anxiously waits for you to pick up the phone. However as soon as the line connects, she breathes out a heavy sigh of relief. “Yah! What are you doing? I've been trying to contact you-"

Everyone watches as the resident cat went quiet, her expression hardening as she listened to whoever seemed to have your phone at the moment. “What room?" Is all they hear before she's thanking the person and then quickly reaching for her bag.

“Unnie, I need to go to the hospital."

Bora and Minji’s faces were both of surprise and shock, but the former says nothing more as she follows after her soulmate while the leader and the rest of the members hurried after them. "Y/n unnie is at the hospital?” Yoohyeon asks while she did her best to avoid tripping over her own feet. "What happened?”

"That's what I want to know, too.”

As everyone huddled inside the car, Dong stares at her phone with Bora gently coaxing her into talking to her. Meanwhile, Minji’s mind can't help but run around at the possible reasons as to why you would be in the hospital.

For some reason it saddens her how she can't even feel anything that you may be feeling at the moment and all she can think of is how you've cut your connection off. It stings, but she refuses to be selfish right now and focuses on keeping her member calm and the rest in check.

As soon as they get to the hospital, Dong is the first one out and is quickly asking for directions to your room. She has no room for anything else at the moment. She just needed to see where you were. So she skips the elevator and opts for the stairs, taking two steps at a time and ignoring the protests of her roommate and soulmate.

“Uh, do you know where we're going?" Yubin can't help but question. Still no response. “Dongie, slow down or you might trip." Siyeon warns, only for the said female to abruptly turn down the next corridor, causing Yoohyeon to nearly crash into the dancer’s back.

Your sister would apologize to them later, probably. Right now, she was more concerned about your condition. When her eyes spotted the room number you were in, she quickly reached for the door before pushing it open.

“Jie jie?"

Inside, she immediately finds you sitting on the hospital bed. She's quick to give you a once over before she notices the bags under your eyes and that your skin lacks color. Her brows pinch together in worry as she comes closer and you turn your head when you hear their group.

“Dongie, what are you doing here?" Minji frowns at the question, but Dong merely scoffs as she crosses her arms across her chest. “What am I doing here? What happened to you?" She all but seethes. “You weren't answering any of my texts and when I call you, it's someone from work telling me that you're at the hospital?" Your frown deepens when the guilt stems in your chest the more your sister speaks. “I told you not to overwork yourself."

The rest of the girls are a little surprised, but then again this was her sister. It was understandable that she was upset right now.

“Dongdong, calm down." Minji gently soothes as Bora grabs her soulmate’s hand. “I know you're upset, but Y/n needs to rest right now, okay?" You watch as the leader tries to coax your sister but the glare she has is still fixed on your face as she waits for an explanation.

“It's okay." You finally interrupt. Looking around, you breathe out a sigh before gesturing for everyone to take a seat. “I suppose you'll all be here for a while so please have a seat somewhere."

“Jie-"

“I'm sorry." You cut your sister off with a heartfelt apology. “I didn't mean to worry you. In fact, I didn't think this would happen in the first place." You tell her, leaning back against the bed. “What exactly happened then?”

You're quiet for a moment, carefully considering whether or not to tell the truth with all of her members present. But then again, you were seeing them in a completely different light especially after you've been experiencing how exhausted Minji’s felt ever since you arrived.

"Jiu-ssi.”

Everyone looked surprised when you called their leader, but your soulmate only looked at you as your eyes met hers. "You haven't been feeling anything for a while, have you?” It was a simple question, but Gahyeon only frowned at the implication. "Why are you asking Jiu unnie?” But Yubin had placed a hand on the maknae’s knee while Minji shifted in her seat. "Not… really. I only got a little sore after some of our practices but they pretty much went away after."

She doesn't understand why this was relevant. You'd severed your connection with her ever since you found out she was your soulmate. It was why she couldn't feel an ounce of the pain you were feeling.

“As it turns out, the pain that you've been feeling for the past month has only been accumulating."

What?

“You were experiencing some pain on your sides the day I first visited Dongie at your company. I noticed that you weren't exactly comfortable when you were dancing so I tried something.” Wait, did that mean… “When I had reopened our soulmate bond, I was able to take that pain away, along with every other discomfort you had been feeling at the time." 

Minji’s eyes widened at the admission and her back grew stiff. “I also noticed how the pain was becoming more frequent so I opted to just leave the link open." You then shake your head when you remember where you were. “Unfortunately, it looks like I've overestimated myself.”

“But I thought…”

"How come unnie never felt anything from you?” Siyeon asks when she notices that the leader was unable to find her voice. "A soulmate link can be made one way. So I opted to keep her out while letting her pain in.” Dong took your hand in hers when she took the seat closest to the bed. “You should know how exhausting that can be. You should have said something.” Your sister scolds and you only smile while squeezing her hand. "After what I said to her…" You tear your eyes away from your sister to look at your soulmate. “I thought maybe this was my way of possibly apologizing." 

Minji couldn’t believe her ears, but at the same time, she was deeply moved with how you had decided to take all of her pain away even when you had told her that it all meant nothing to you. All this time she believed that you had no care for her and yet… you had been taking care of her without her knowledge.

“I know that I overreacted when I found out, but the truth is that I’m afraid of what this link may bring me.” You finally admit with a heavy breath. “I didn’t want to have another thing possibly be taken from me again, so I opted to just push you away rather than accept you and the bond that we have.”

Sensing the sensitivity of the conversation, Dong quickly gestured for everyone to get out of the room. And while Yoohyeon wanted to protest, her soulmate placed a hand over her mouth and merely dragged her outside. Bora sent her best friend a look while Dong gave you a smile before they both closed the door, leaving the two of you alone.

“I’m sorry, Jiu-ssi. I know that you’ve been miserable since we last spoke but I guess I was too prideful to admit that I was in the wrong in the first place.” You tell her and Minji forced herself to stand back up before slowly approaching your bed.

“I… can’t say that it was okay but… I do understand where you’re coming from.” She finally says while gripping her own hands. “Your sister left, you were hurt. So now that there’s something else to lose, you’re afraid.” She had hit a nail on that one as you dropped your gaze down to your lap and Minji felt her heart skip as she stopped at the edge of your hospital bed. “But Y/n… you need to know that I don’t give up on the things that matter to me.”

You lift your head in surprise to see her already staring at you, a warm look on her face as she assesses you and you wonder deep down why she isn’t screaming at you, cursing you for hurting her. “How can you possibly forgive me?” It comes out of your mouth before you can even think, and she only gives you a smile.

“I’d like to think that I’m not like most people. And if you give me a chance… maybe we can get to know more about each other's soulmate better?”

[strawberrykisseslia]

"I wish you were a boy..."

Vanessa Shelly x F! reader

Content: Angst, falling in love with a straight girl, no happy ending, slight homophobia?

A/N: idk why but I just love angst, also I cried while making this bc it reminded of myself when I fell in love with a straight girl 👍🏻 (canon event)

A/N#2: Should I write a second part for this? :3 I'm not sure what to put in it though but tell me! ♡

A/N#3: I apologize with the Christmas special one tomorrow or on sunday. ♡

Words count: 674

Since high school you have been best friends with Vanessa and since then you were roommats. She trusted you more than anyone else and she told you about her horrible past.

As time went by you started to catch some feelings for her. You were scared cause even yourself didn't understand these feelings and you would've never guessed it wouldve been love. You were always there for each other, you always found time for her and she did the same thing. You though these were just some normal feelings and you were just comfortable around her but no, the thing you felt wad indeed love.

~~

It was late at night. You were still up, sitting on the couch with a glass of your favorite wine in your hand. It was quite, you only heard your thoughts and the only thing you were thinking about was you and Vanessa. Was this actually love that you were feeling? Should you tell her? What her reaction would be? The questions that were racing in your mind but... firstly, did you accept yourself that you might be in love with her? However, you knew she liked boys, she had one or two boyfriends during highschool and you always had that weird jealous in you. No, you were not jealous of Vanessa that she gets boys, you were jealous of the boys that they get Vanessa's attention the way you didn't.

As you were deepening in your thoughts you heard the front door open and saw Vanessa with a tired smile on her face. "Hey." She greeted you as she took her jacket off. She made her way to the kitchen and saw that there were some dinner left overs. You also went into the kitchen and smiled at her. "How's your day?" You took a sip of your wine. "Tiring." She chuckled. "Yours?" You nodded. "Honestly, same." You leaned against the counter and took a deep sigh. "Do you want some wine?" She shook her head and chuckled. "Why are you even drinking?" She asked with some light laughter. "Helps me gets some things off my mind." She looked at you curiously. "Really? What have you been thinking about?" She took a step closer to you. You shook your head. "Nothing special really." A small smile grew on your face. She got even closer to you and so you did. You looked down at her lips and leaned even closer. Your lips brushes against each others and you decided to let your heart control you and pressed your lips against hers... she didn't pull away to your surprise and kissed you back.

After some seconds she was the first to pull away and looked at you with slight shock. You felt worry hit you slowly. "I-I gotta go." She sounded frustrated and quickly wanted to rash away. You grabbed her arm and with shaky voice spoke up. "V-Vanessa? Are you alright?" She looked down before her with shame. "I can't do this." You were confused and it was noticable in your voice. "What.? Can't do what...?" "This!." She turned back and snapped at you. You flinched slightly at her loud tone, she was never like this before. "This is not right!. We can't do this!" You let her wrist go and looked at with confusion and sadness. "L-Look... I'm sorry, okay?" She sighed and lowered her tone. She took a step closer to you but you stepped back. She sighed heavily again. She turned around and started to walk to her room. She faced you was once again and broke the silence. "I wish you were a boy..."

You felt tears in your eyes and gasped. What was she saying?.. You couldn't believe her. "You know what... you might be right, I can't do this either.." Your voice was quite and shaky. You turned around and walked towards your room. Vanessa wanted to reach out but didn't want to or what to say so she just let you go.

Maybe she let you go forever.

[virgobaby98]

Trucker Harry. Year, 1990

Synopsis: Harry picks up hitchhiker who wants adventure in a new city

❌NSFW❌ trigger warning; smut, oral (f receiving), brief mention of anal, cheating.

I’m tired.

It’s the same routine everyday.

Wake up, shower, dry hair, work clothes, kiss boyfriend, skip breakfast, hop the train, work, skip lunch, hop the train, kick off shoes, pjs, find something to eat, hop in bed.

Repeat everyday. Except weekends, don’t go out on the weekend, rot in bed.

It’s been this way since may. I had a feeling something was off. I woke up to the home phone going off at 2am, my boyfriend was passed out so I decided to answer. When I hear her. “Hello?” A breathy female voice. “Are you there handsome? I was hoping you could come over, I bought some new massage oils.” My throat dries up and I’m at a loss for words. Is my boyfriend cheating?

I mean I should be furious or crying at least! I think? I’m not sure, I don’t know.

Maybe this sadness started before that even.

It’s been a few months of this really, he used to be all over me all the time. My boyfriend works close to home literally across the street and is pretty much his own boss so he comes and goes as he pleases so I was always treated like a princess, he made me breakfast in bed (sometimes it was simple like oatmeal and toast some days it was big, filled with fried eggs, toast, sausage, hash browns etc.) before starting the shower for me. He had my lunch bag packed full of last nights leftovers, some popcorn in a plastic baggy, a water bottle, some crackers for the train ride home, a new sticky note every day that basically says some form of “I love you”

Supper was in the oven when I got home and he made up my section of the couch in a way that I love to relax in. Glass with wine on my side table by the couch with my favourite blanket draped on the end of the couch so I can wrap myself up in and forget the world.

I don’t make enough to leave or live on my own or I would’ve left. Loneliness doesn’t scare me but I have grown used to living with someone.

He has definitely lost interest in me so gradually that I don’t even know when this stopped and I started having a roommate. He doesn’t sleep in the same bed as me and sex hasn’t been a thing in at least 2 months.

I got home today and hopped in the shower disrupting my routine but I need to feel something. My suspicions were confirmed that his affair was still ongoing when I seen foundation on his blue button up in the laundry bin. I’m guessing he’s become too lazy to try to hide it anymore. I turned the water on a little colder then usual to try to wake myself up, I decided today I need a change. What I’m changing I’m not sure yet but a colder shower is something so far.

When I hopped out I noticed he was gone but to where I don’t know, I’m pretty sure I don’t care.

I sat on the bed in my towel staring at my closet.

It’s Tuesday at 5pm, I could be out bar hopping, or going to a movie, or dinner right now but I can’t seem to get up or even move my feet to move me in a different direction.

I close my eyes and envision the beach at this time. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a sunset at a beach that didn’t come from a movie or picture.

I could go to the beach? Is that what I want? I don’t think I even live near a man made beach.

You know what? Let’s do that. Let’s go to the beach. Let’s go to California actually I think to myself.

I have enough in my savings to afford a trip I think, but I have to get up and move now if I’m going to do this or I won’t do it.

I open our bedroom closet door, grab a blue hoodie, some grey sweats, white shirt and underwear from my dresser, throw on the same beige coloured bra I wore today and there I’m dressed to go to the beach. Well dressed to get a ride to the beach.

I grab my passport from my underwear dresser, my duffle bag from the top of the closet and rummage through my drawers til I find my swimsuit, some comfy pjs, extra set of clothes, underwear, bra, socks. I turn to the bathroom and grab my brush, my makeup bag, lotion, and I could just buy some cheap shampoo and conditioner when I get there, I grab a towel from the hallway closet and I neatly pack my duffle before throwing on shoes and head towards the door. I leave a note on the counter “headed to the west coast for a couple weeks” I need to do this.

I walk towards the train stop and use my change to purchase a timed ticket good for an hour and find the giant illuminated map of the city built in the middle of the train stop to figure out my best way to the airport.

Hop the train. It’s quieter here then it usually is, then again I almost never take the train outside of rush hour going to and from work. The airport is less than an hour away from where I live by train so I settle in my seat and play some music on my Walkman when I feel hungry.

I hop off at the next stop and walk til I see a coffee shop and head inside where I line up to grab a drink. Cappuccino’s are the trendiest drink so I order one and decide to grab a grilled cheese as well.

I pick up my order and head towards one of the cushioned green lounge chairs in the back near the fireplace and I set my duffle bag by my feet after looping my foot into the handle, Don’t want to risk losing it or forgetting it.

I finish my grilled cheese and my drink is about halfway when at the corner of my eye, I see a dark haired figure walk towards the door near my seat.

Dark curly hair with black sunglasses and wearing a burgundy coloured flannel with dark blue jeans and boots, He’s definitely good looking. and… obviously not into me and my grubby sad appearance. I look down at what I’m wearing and quickly wipe my face with my napkin then wipe any crumbs that fell onto my hoodie as I collect my garbage to go throw it out at the can near the door when I trip over my duffle bag at my feet and yelp as I fall onto my hands and knees.

A barista and the tall dark stranger make their way over to me and help lift me to my feet as I continuously say “I’m okay I’m okay” with a light chuckle and wipe my dusty knees with my hands before standing and thanking them.

They both seem okay with the response and continue on with what they were doing and I pick up my garbage off the floor and successfully dispose of it before turning and grabbing my duffle bag and walking out the door thankful I’ll never see these people again.

The map at the train stop shows me the bus stop I need to take me to the airport where I can probably catch the next flight to Los Angeles, I hop the train I need to take me to the stop I need to hop to my bus.

I stare out the window and listen to music when the idea that my boyfriend is cheating on me pops in my head again.

I wonder what I would’ve told him if i confronted him. I purse my lips as I think of a clever response. Should I be witty? Truthful? Sneaky? Or lame? I think of every things he said to me the last few months. so dry and kind of demanding lately now that I think about it. Then I think about the way the girl sounded, So soft and bubbly! She had new body massage oil for them to try? Which means they tried some other oils before then and I feel hurt. If only he put that energy into bettering our relationship with me instead of building one with her then maybe we’d be in a better place right now, I’d be in a better place right now. Like home. I’m starting to miss home now that I actually think about it.

Oh my god. what am I doing? I’m basically throwing away my life to do this beach trip I mean I didn’t request time off im going to lose my job doing this and my boyfriend would not approve of me taking off and losing my job even if I have enough saved up to live off of for half the year. I didn’t think any of this through.

Wait what I’m I thinking of him for? He hasn’t thought of me in months. He’ll probably be elated that I’m taking off for a couple days if he has someone else he’s interested in, probably calling her to come over right now instead of waiting for me to come home.

My mood sours even more and I decide to head home and end this relationship once and for all and move out even if I have to live with a roommate or rent a room somewhere.

I get up from my seat and stand by the door waiting for the next stop and hop the train opposite of the platform to head home.

The platform is freezing and I’m shivering as I wait for the opposite train to pull in any minute when there’s an announcement made.

‘All southbound trains are at the moment closed due to an accident at another station. Please wait for a shuttle bus to be in your area soon to take you to your destination. Thank you’

Great. Another obstacle.

Or maybe it’s a sign to keep going?

I don’t know, I’m tired and thirsty though.

I walk towards the giant map in the middle of the train stop to find the nearest convenience store within walking distance.

ROAD KING TRUCK STOP 24hrs

Is about a 10 minute walk from here and there’s a McDonald’s like 2 minutes pass there. I could sit in and think about what I’m going to do.

Honestly, this might be the biggest convenience store I’ve been in. There’s everything here I could need or want and there’s places to sit, a change room you can shower in and rooms to rent too!

I mean I never really knew what truckers do when they’re not driving but I’m sure there’s places like this littered throughout the world for them and I never even knew about them til now.

I decided on grabbing a Dr Pepper and water bottle to put in my duffel bag for later and make myself a hot chocolate in a to go coffee cup.

I stroll by the pastries, sandwiches, beef jerky, and fruit section and grab myself a banana, a mandarin, and a turkey and cheese sandwich after checking the expiration date.

I pull out my wallet and pay for my items and head towards the seating area when I catch a glance of the magazines in the back area. I forgot porno magazines were a thing, but I guess truckers need something when they’re out on the road?

A blonde with her tits out on the cover of the front page, another of a brunette flashing her bum while looking over her shoulder. I quickly look away like I’m a naughty child about to be swatted at for looking and continue my way to the seats.

I pull out my sandwich and hot chocolate then I unwrap my sandwich and take a bite.

A couple people walk in and out after buying their items as time goes on. I could just rent a room here for now and figure out where to go in the morning.

My mind seems to be in two places at once right now. Normally I’m very organized and planned but I can’t rely on that side of my brain right now. I need to be spontaneous and go with the flow if I want to get away from home.

Thirty minutes pass when I decide to make the trek back to the train station or shuttle area for the bus since the train probably still isn’t working. I walk my trash to the bin and then head out the door. It’s a bit chilly outside but not unpleasant.

After only five minutes of waiting the shuttle comes to take me to the next working train station. I hop on and put my bag down to rummage through for my wallet when I notice it’s not in the regular pocket I put it in. It’s not in the main pocket, and it’s not in my pants pocket either. The driver is becoming more impatient as I scramble to look for it before he barks for me to get off and wait for the next shuttle.

I hop off the bus and pull my bag to the seated bus area as the bus takes off in the background. I must’ve left it at the truck stop? Oh god I hope it’s still there I had my ID’s and bank cards in there along with some cash but I could care less about the cash if everything else is in there. Oh man how am I suppose to get home? How am I supposed to get to the beach?

I give up. I can call my “boyfriend” to come pick me up or to get cash out to pay for a taxi if my wallet isn’t at the truck stop.

I pick everything up this time taking my time and checking that I packed everything back into place before heading back to the truck stop.

At the store, I make a bee line for the seated area I was at and just my luck nothing is there. I’m quick to ask the cashier if anyone’s turned in my wallet and describe it to him, but hes shakes his head no, nothings been turned in.

My shoulder’s slump as I nod my head and accept my fate. No beach and I go back to living my life unloved. I sit back at my original seat and contemplated calling my boyfriend. But even with nothing I can’t let him win even if it means I have to sit here all night til the banks open.

“Miss?” I look up to the cashier. “Miss I’m sorry but you’ll have to buy something to sit here.” “But I was just here 20 minutes earlier I bought stuff then?” He can’t be serious. “I’m sorry miss but you’re a returning costumer and need to buy something if you want to continue sitting here.” I guess he’s serious. I grab my bag, this time turning around and checking my seat and walk out the door. my tail tucked between my legs and begin walking towards the same bus stop as before.

30 minutes pass by and 3 busses leave me in the dust as I sit and wait for the morning to come. I’m cold and tired and I should’ve rented a room the first time I thought of it. Stuck in the industrial area that’s mostly made for semi trucks as I’ve barely seen any other types of cars out here aside from a couple odd ones this late at night. Nothing else to do but play with my thumbs in my hoodie pocket.

My thumbs.

My thumb?

I could hitch hike to the beach? I mean that’s dangerous, stupidly dangerous.

But I am too far from home. Train isn’t working I can’t even hop it and risk a fine anyways, bus won’t pick me up, store won’t let me ‘loiter’

I had enough guts to get this far I could go further if I try. I mean I’m only broke til the morning technically, and if the driver is kind enough to wait til then I could pay them in the morning?

I stand up with my bag in hand and walk to the busy road in front of the truck stop and begin walking to the intersection and watch trucks pull in and out of the stop. I pray I get a female driver, I mean, I know it’s not a female dominated industry but a girl can hope. I begin walking west, far enough from the truck stop and then I stick out my thumb.

After a few minutes of walking with my thumb out my arm gets sore and I’m about to call it quits I mean it’s after 1 am at this point, another semi passes by me, this time honking their horn and they slow down and pull to the side up ahead. I can’t believe it worked! I’m scared but my feet quicken as I remember I’ll be in a warm vehicle. I think to myself ‘here we go’ as I climb the steps up the passengers side and open the door.

“Where you headed?”

It’s a male, which okay I guessed this was the most likely scenario but still disappointing.

“West. California technically” I reply as I hop in the seat and put my bag on my lap the warm air feeling like heaven after being outside for so long.

“Best I can do is Nevada. I’m not due in California for another week” the stranger replies.

I nod my head “my names Y/N I just need a ride headed west til I can get to the bank in the morning I can pay you then if you don’t mind? Lost my wallet this evening”

God I hope that’s okay. I mean I’m good for the money but how does he know that.

“S’alright, I don’t mind the company. I think I can trust you won’t kill me. M’names Harry.”

“I promise I won’t kill you, if you promise not to kill me.” I let out a little chuckle, I mean I could be joking with a murderer right now.

I buckle my seat, put my bag by my feet and hold tightly onto my Walkman in my hoodie

pocket.

Harry puts the signal on to get back onto the road, puts the truck in drive, shoulder checks then merges successfully.

I didn’t really get a good glance of how he looks. But from what I see from the streetlights that randomly flash inside the cab, he’s looks pretty average. Dark hair under his trucker hat, Dark flannel with rolled sleeves and jeans are all I can see. I look around me, I’ve never been in a semi truck before I just assumed they were built like a regular vehicle inside? Which ok yeah they kind of are but there’s multiple gauges and screens on the dashboard I have no clue what any of them mean. I only know gas and speedometer and that’s the extent of my vehicle gauge knowledge. The radio is on low, the hum of the engine roars to life as harry starts to slowly pick up speed.

“So, why are you hitching a ride to the west?”

Harry finally asks. “Uh, where to start. I’ve had rough day, or Rough week or months I guess”

I reply. I mean how much do you tell a stranger about your life? “Must be rough to be hitching a ride” Harry turns to me with a smile. Even in the dark I can tell he’s got a nice smile. “I mean if you want a recap of just today I can tell you.”

Not to change the subject but, My seat is so comfy. They aren’t made of the traditional car seats you may be used to. These are velvety soft, and bouncy. Basically feels like a lazy boy without the arm rests.

“Sure give me just today” Harry laughs lightly.

“Well uh, I found out.. my boyfriend of the last 4 years has been cheating on me. For how long I’m not too sure, he used to be head over heels in love with me though. Literally felt like a fairy tale and other women would always compliment us as being the ‘cutest couple’.

Anyways, I uh I had to leave. Impulsive decisions have been leading me today because I think my brain is shutting itself down since finding out. I mean I haven’t even cried about my relationship ending” the streets are dead quiet. the only light is the moon reflecting of the asphalt as we head out of the city and the orange lights in the trucks gauges. I think I’m overtired too. “And I pretty much chose to give up my job to do this, I mean it’s a tuesday and I’m on my way to the west coast and I haven’t even thought of trying to leave a message for my boss to give him a heads up. So when I come back I’ll have no job and when I move out I’ll have no place to live, it’s not like I can just pack up and move back home too since my parents sold their home this past winter and now live in a 1 bedroom condo in Florida which, you know, good for them. But that leaves me with nothing. All I have to my name is my passport and idk how far I can get with that.”

Harry nods along as I continue to vent my problems. “Well sugar, I’m sorry for laughing earlier. Yeah you’re right your life has gone to shit.” I want to cry but instead burst of laughing. God I’m overtired. “It’s okay maybe I needed to get that all out. I kinda feel better, I think it was all pent up anger about the situation.” I thank Harry for listening and pay attention to the road again. Where are we going again? I think to myself I know he told me but can’t remember. I need to sleep at some point. “Where are we going again?” I ask him.

“I have to go a grocery store in Mesquite Nevada. They special ordered some kind of restaurant hardware im thinking it’s for their deli? but I’m not sure, anyways that’s literally all I have to do there then I’m headed on up to Kalispell Montana to pickup a truck for a rich costumer in Oregon. I’ll have a couple days off then I’m due in L.A. For a contract.” Harry replies as he slows for a red light.

“Wow, you’re busy. When do you sleep?”

“Depends on where I’m headed and how far the stretches are in between locations. I should have slept tonight and left at say, 6 am but I figure I’ll catch some sleep on the road tonight eventually, probably at another truck stop or a rest stop”

Christ that sounds so tiring, I wonder when I could sleep and if he’s going to get a room before we ge to Nevada? “How long will it take to get to Mesquite?” I didn’t think any of this through I pretty much forced my way into this man’s life for the next few hours.

Harry looks over at me “probably be there by around 8-9am if I don’t stop, but I do need to sleep sometime before then if you don’t mind.” I don’t know what it is but this all makes me feel like a burden. “I’m sorry if I threw off your routine, I could jump out at the next set of red lights if it’s easier for you?”

I reply looking down at my bag as I play with my fingers.

Harry looks over at me and lightly swats at my arm for attention and I look at him. “Hey, don’t think like that, I’m happy I picked you up.” He says with a smile. I smile back. “Really?” “Really. Firstly I’m happy I’m the one that picked you up and not some other man. Not to spit on my own kind but there’s not a lot of truckers out there with… good intentions. And secondly, I enjoy company. I used to have a dog named Ted that rode with me, beautiful black lab, but my wife got him in the divorce.”

Oh so he’s single? I mean not that I care but I was thinking to ask him if his girlfriend would care if he gave me a ride or if he would even talk about me after I leave his truck. “You were married?” I didn’t mean to make it sound so shocking. Harry smirks, “yeah I was, swear it only lasted about 2 minutes though. We were high school sweethearts and we were each others first everything. Together for 7 years and I decided I wanted to put a ring on her finger. We were engaged and wed within the same week in Vegas on a whim and I was happier than ever! Then the following week she blindsides me completely. She’s pregnant with another man’s baby, 3 months at that point and it was when I was out of state on a contract, then she runs off with him. Divorced that same month. Even after everything she did I still let her have everything. I was angry at first at her, at him, at myself. I drank myself under the table multiple times but have sobered up since then.” Harry pulls out a bottled water that’s already open and finishes whatever’s left.

“Wow. That’s a lot to happen in a few weeks. when was this?” I pry “Last year” He sighs.

“It’s all old news now, I’ve had a couple flings here and there since then. Mostly set up by my friends and my mom who worry about me. It’s taken some time but I’m at peace with it all now though”

Christ I can’t even begin to think about dating again. The fact I have to start that all over again too sounds so draining and I haven’t even started.

Harry clears his throat and pulls me from my thoughts. “I have a bunk on top of my bed if you want to take that one? Otherwise you’re welcome to sleep on my bed while I drive and if I decide to pull over I’ll sleep on the top bunk. How does that sound?” He asks then reaches behind him on his left side. A large black curtain I didn’t even see when I first hopped in the truck is pulled to the side and I can see the back is lit up by the moon through the tiny curtain on top.

“Oh! I didn’t even know you had a bed back here. That’s so cool! Are all semi trucks built like this?” I unbuckle my seat and stand to go explore the back area of the truck.harry flick a button in the middle of his dashboard that turns the light on inside so I can see better “No, not all semi’s are built the same. Some don’t have beds, that’s why truck stops with rooms exists” He explains.

In the back is a twin bed with the bed made in a neat enough way, There’s multiple cupboards and a tiny white fridge tucked under a cupboard. On the passenger side behind the seat there’s a 13” tv/vcr combo and a stack of VHS’ piled beside it. “Uh, what top bunk?” I ask him as I try to look. “Look above the twin, there’s a strip you can pull down” I do as he says and a another twin bunk falls down gently. “it’s never been used”

I put it back in place and sit back In my seat. “That’s so cool. I didn’t know some of you had beds back there. I just thought it was excess storage or something.”

Harry smiles “that’s where you can sleep if you get tired. Please don’t feel like a burden.”

After playing a bit of the license plate game and some shitty night time version of eye spy,

I feel my eyes get heavy as I listen to the quiet radio. The trees lining the highway are hypnotizing me and the tires hum on the pavement is similar to my fan at home. My head falls to the side and I jerk myself awake.

“Oops, sorry. I think I’m ready to sleep finally.”

Harry smiles at me. “Please nap in the bed. I’m fine for now, I’ll wake you when we get there.” I nod and unbuckle myself then head to the back I sit on the bed and flip the pillow. A habit I do at home as well, kick my shoes off and lay down ontop of the bedding.

Harry shakes my shoulder as he whispers “Y/N, hey, wake up.” My eyes are blurry as I rub them and move to sit up. “Hey doll, I stopped at the store do you need anything? Bathroom maybe?” I nod and look for my shoes and then slowly climb out the passenger door side and follow Harry into the convienence store. The sky is a pale pink, the sun is about to peek over the horizon. “Where are we?” I ask as we get to the door. “Colorado city. Just over an hour til Mesquite.” Harry replies. I never got a good look of him til now that we’re under the fluorescent lighting of the store. He has green eyes and a chiseled jaw and his hair is curly under his trucker hat. I’m pulled away from daydreaming about how he’d look while on top of me. How long was I asleep? I wonder down the aisle to look for a clock In the store and see one above the hallway to the storage and bathroom area, 5 am exact. The banks probably wont be open til 8am, So I’d have to kill an hour or so in Mesquite. I head to the bathroom and open the door and am met with a pungent smell and flickering light. Absolutely not! I will not be peeing in here.

I close the door and go to look for Harry who’s in the freezer food aisle. “Is there somewhere else I can go to the bathroom?” I whisper as I catch up to him “what’s wrong with the bathroom here?” He smirks. “It’s gross” i pout. Harry turns around again, “sugar, you’re living on the road, you can’t be picky about where you go.” Easy for you to say I think to myself “you’re a man, you can stand and pee” I whisper shout. The worker is watching us as we’re the only customers in here so early.

“Okay hold on. I’ll help you out, just looking for a couple snacks to fill my fridge” I stand and watch as he continues to grab a couple more items. A box of granola bars, a bag of plain chips, a jug of water, A couple frozen meals. “Grab something to snack on. my treat.” I look around the aisle but can only think of needing the bathroom right now. I grab a chocolate bar and follow him to the till.

“Can I also grab some disinfectanting wipes please.” Harry requests as the cashier bends down and grabs a packet of Lysol wipes.

Harry looks at the chocolate bar I put on the counter. “Is that going to fill you?” I nod with a smile and continue to hop from one foot to the other. Harry rolls his eyes at me and pays the man then grabs his bags and then ushers me to the back of the room by the hallway. He places his bags on the pile of newspaper sitting outside the bathroom door and grabs the Lysol wipes then kicks the bathroom door open with his boot and I follow. Harry then opens the Lysol packet and wipes the lightswitch, the sink taps, and the soap dispenser, discards the used wipe. He then pulls out a couple more and wipes the toilet lid, the handle, the seat, and then lifts the seat and continues to wipe the rim and around it. He again discards the used wipe, then repeats the process again.

“I’ll wait outside the door for you, but the toilet seat is clean.” Harry washes his hands wipes them on his jeans then locks the door before leaving me alone in the bathroom.

The light still flickers on and off so I’m quick to pull my pants down and half squat over the toilet. I know, I know he spent his time cleaning the toilet just for me but I’m just not convinced it’s clean unless I personally get to pull out all the strong chemicals needed to make it sparkle. I wash my hands and head out the door after using a paper towel to pull the handle.

Harry is leaning against the opposite wall with his arms crossed holding the grocery bags when I get out. “Better?” He asks as he raises his eyebrows, I nod and thank him then follow after him as he walks out of the store.

We hop back in the truck, I sit in the passenger seat as Harry sits behind me on his bed and stocks up his fridge and uses the same bag afterwards to discard any old food and empty containers on his counter and fridge.

“Where are you headed after this again?” I turn to ask as I try to make conversation but I also genuinely can’t remember. Maybe all the stress from yesterday is the reason I’m unable to retain information. “Montana.” Harry ties his garbage bag and makes a beeline for his door and hops out. Oh right, Montana for a car then Oregon then he’s off for a few days. Busy guy.

I should’ve stayed in the bathroom longer to wash the sleep off my face or tried to tidy up my appearance better. I can’t function in day old clothes, I packed another outfit but that’s all I got aside from some essentials and a swim suit. I mean when I was rushing to grab everything I was planning to shop when I got to California to fit in with the locals but now that I’m sat here I should have grabbed at least one more outfit. “Alright, I’m going to piss on the side of the road then we’re good to go.” I nod my head before yawning again and watch as Harry heads to the back of the truck.

The sunrise is beautiful as we continue on the road. “What time do you think the banks open in Mesquite?” I ask. I reach behind me to grab my duffle and look around til I find my hairbrush. “I’d say they’d be open by 8am? That’s just my guess.” Harry replies.

I brush my hair then dig around in my bag to see the outfit I can put together for today. A tight white long sleeve and black jeans. I mean i guess it can work, i don’t know what i was thinking? Black jeans at the beach? I’ll definitely need to shop for some more comfortable clothes while I’m there.

“Can I change in the back?” Harry nods and shows me where the curtain clips are so I have privacy.

Once dressed I put my shoes back on and hop in the passenger seat again and tuck my items in my duffle.

The roads start to fill up more with other motorists as the sun continues to rise.

“Ya know, this is just an idea. I feel like it’ll be shot down but have been thinking to ask anyways. Are you in a big rush to get to California?” Harry asks as he turns to look at me.

“Uh, well no. I was just going off of impulsivity the last what 24 hours. I guess now I’m going with the flow since I don’t really have a life waiting for me anymore.” Harry nods his head before using his left hand to rub his lower lip. “Well, I’m going to be there in less than a week. What do you think of you coming along with me? Save yourself some travel money that way too.”

I was taken aback by the offer. “You want me to, stay? I won’t be in the way?” I ask incredulously. I mean, if it were with someone I knew it would be a good road trip but we’re complete strangers.

“I, I mean I guess we can try it? If anything changes you can drop me off at the nearest greyhound.” with my voice laced with uncertainty I try my best to go with the flow. From my regular life which is written and highlighted on a calendar (I once followed it so strictly I even planned nights to have sex) to complete disregard with what happens in the next 10 minutes. I feel like I can be at ease finally. Maybe all the years of being wound so tightly have finally unraveled.

Harry drops me off at my bank with the promise of coming back with breakfast from a diner across the street. I enter and I am greeted immediately by a kind lady who listens to my tale of woe (lost my wallet) she tries her best to argue with her manager who very kindly tells me that I can’t access my funds with only a passport and no other form of ID and would need to do so at my home branch.

Feeling dejected I thank them for their time and go to sit on the bench out front and wait for Harry to return.

Maybe this is the sign I’ve been waiting for all this time. I should’ve just walked towards my place and hitched a ride that way and fixed up my life or kicked out my boyfriend instead of dragging Harry into my messed up situation. He’s not going to want to have to pay for me and he shouldn’t have to. I was hoping to surprise him with a nice little wad of cash as a way of saying thanks for the ride. Guess I have to find another way home.

10 minutes later Harry’s truck pulls into the back end of the parking lot and I pick up my duffle bag to walk towards him with bad news.

“Hey what’s with the sour face sweetheart?” Harry hollers from his window.

I walk right up to his side and look up and use my hand as a visor to block the sun from my eyes.

“They can’t let me take out any money. I need to go home to my regular branch and they can pull my info there. I can’t go with you”

I can feel my eyes start to water at the idea of having to risk hitchhiking again. This time I’m sure nothing good will come of it. How often do you get a nice stranger 2 times in a row.

Harry opens his door and hops out the truck with a slam of his door.

“Why can’t you come with me?”

“I have no money. No clean clothes” I look down to kick at the gravel.

“Still no reason why you can’t come. I’ll pay for your food and I can buy you some clothes. I mean they won’t be brand name labels from a big fancy mall but I’m sure we can find some clothing stores around here maybe a thrift store, a Walmart even.”

I look up at him “you shouldn’t have to pay for me Harry. I can’t really pay you back not right away anyways.” My tears begin to streak down my face, I’ve always been a quiet crier.

“Hey now, none of that. You can stay with me free of charge. Wouldn’t have taken a cent from you anyways. Pretty girls shouldn’t have to pay for anything. Come on I got breakfast it’s waiting for ya in the truck. Eat first then decide.”

I nod my head and Harry grabs my duffle from my hands and leads me by the small of my back to the passenger door. After I sit down, Harry stands on the steps on my side and reaches for my seatbelt and buckles me in, then places my duffle gently at my feet before jumping down and closing my door.

Two take away plates sit on the dashboard and Harry hops in when I notice them. “Ones an omelette with hash browns. The other is strawberry waffles with whipped topping. And fruit on the side. Pick whichever one you want.” I’ve never had someone order for me before. Nobody knows what I like, but I do like omelettes.

Both plates empty. Harry gathers the garbage and I watch as he walks across the parking lot to a gas station where he puts it in a garbage bin beside the gas pumps.

I feel like going home is still the best option for me. Go home and figure out living arrangements. Do laundry. Wash the walls. Take down every picture hung up that reminds me of my ex boyfriend.

“So?” Harry asks as he opens his door and plops down in the drivers seat. He looks at me with a smile, places his hand on my knee and shakes it. “What did ya decide, Are you coming with me?” He has such a kind face and His smile is contagious. “I uhm, I… I guess? If you’ll have me I mean and if I become a nuisance then please kick me to the curb first chance.” I don’t know why I said that. Guess I’m a sucker for a pretty face too. “Good. I didn’t want to have to lose hours driving you back home.”

“You were going to drive me home? What about your deliveries. Don’t you have a tight schedule?”

I watch as he presses all the buttons and readjusts his rear view mirror then glances at his paper map quickly. “The right thing to do would be to take you home. Come on let’s go deliver this equipment just on the other side of town”

On the road headed north, I fold my legs and sit cross legged as I stare out the passenger window. “there’s a motel in Cedar City we’re going to stay at. You can wash your clothes and shower, We’ll stay there for the night And start fresh tomorrow. In the morning I’ll take you shopping for a couple outfits.” I nod my head and continue to eat one of Harry’s muffins.

Over the last few hours together ive learned more about Harry. His mother runs a pottery shop (although she mostly teaches it now) back home and he visits her regularly, grew up with a sister who’s now married, his dads the one who taught him how to drive a semi, and his best friend lives in Spokane and occasionally he stays with him and his end goal is to save up enough for a house on the west coast somewhere close to him.

All of it sounds lovely and I think somewhere in the northwest would be great for settling down.

I wait in the truck as Harry’s in the lobby paying for our room. I reach behind and grab all my snacks including the wrappers from the ones I ate and stuff them into the plastic bag they came in, tie it and then stuff it into my duffle bag. I wiggle my shoes back on just in time for Harry to open my door. “Cmon they gave us room 211, there’s a mini bar” he winks.

I follow behind as Harry carries my bag and his backpack and we trot up the stairs and make our way to 211. The motel is fairly clean and there is a outdoor pool with a large blow up flamingo floaty sitting in it waiting to be played with.

Harry uses the key and unlocks the door and tosses my bag on the double bed closest to the bathroom. “Whichever bed you prefer, I’ll take the other” Harry offers as he shuffles his boots off. I walk toward the bed and sit on it to test it out. Cushiony but firm.

“There’s a laundromat just on the other side of the motel but we’ll have to go out and get change I guess they don’t have a working change machine. I’ll take you to grab some stuff in a bit just need to rest my eyes quick.”

Harry grabs hold of the extra pillow beside him and tucks it into himself, turns over and is out like a light.

I decide now would be the best time to shower so I grab my duffle and walk towards the back. There’s two housecoats hanging up in the tiny closet and I grab one then lock the bathroom door.

The mini shampoo, conditioner, and bar of soap is barely enough to wash my hair and body but I make do with half the bottle of each incase Harry decides to shower after me. I rip the slim soap bar in half and lather it up in my hands before soaping myself up.

The shampoo doesn’t lather how I would’ve liked it but it gets the job done and it smells very citrus-y.

I dry myself off with the towel sat on the rack behind the toilet and throw my hair into a twist ontop of my head and wrap myself up in the housecoat, grab my belongings and move everything to my bed.

Harry is still passed out, snoring quietly but at least he kicked his boots off before covering himself with his throw blanket.

It’s only 4:30 pm when I hear Harry shuffling around to face me before yawning. He must’ve got about nine hours of sleep since we first pulled into cedar city and all this time I’ve been rotting on my bed still in my housecoat, flipping through random channels with the remote on mute.

“Did you get any sleep?” Harry asks before rubbing his face with his hands. “A bit, I think I passed out around 2? Just woke up maybe 30 mins ago was a nice nap.” He nods his head before groaning then stretching and then he hoists himself out of bed. “I’m going to shower then we can go out if you want? I should at least get you some dinner, I know I could go for a nice meal.”

I nod “ I’d love some dinner, but I don’t have any clean clothes..” I’m still stark naked under my housecoat and blanket it of course I don’t say that aloud. “Oh right, well I can run and get some change for the laundry, but I’d rather take you shopping I’ve thought about what I was going to do today and I have a couple errands to run while we’re here, including checking on a few friends of mine down at the pub, Is that okay sweetheart?” I push my blanket off and hop out of bed. Harry grabs his backpack with him to the bathroom and starts the shower.

I rummage through and find my grey sweats and tight white long sleeve. Normally I can’t stand to wear the same clothes after a shower but I feel like if I go commando underneath then maybe it won’t be as bad? I forgo the undies and beige bra for now til I get some new ones or clean ones I put everything back in my bag and zip it up. Actually I should put on some deodorant as well.

Harry walks out of the bathroom wearing only his jeans and his hair still wet. “Don’t mind me, s’too hot in that tiny bathroom. Too steamy as well” I pretend I didn’t see his tattoo littered body and quickly look down at the hotel pamphlet I was holding that said “top 10 restaurants in cedar city” he tosses his backpack on the floor by his bed. “I’ll finish getting dressed and let’s head out”

Harry pulls up to a Walmart and parks near the back of the parking lot, we’re walking when he chirps up “oh, here, I’ll give you some money. Idk how much women’s products are but make sure you get everything you may need like I don’t know, shampoo stuff and makeup or whatever.” He pulls out a wad of cash from his wallet and thumbs through the bills passing the ones, fives, and twenties. He passed me three hundred “if you need more then come find me, I’ll probably be in the automotive section or men’s clothing” idk what to say, three hundred seems like so much but I guess he’s right I should stock up and everything i would’ve bought myself when I first planned on leaving. “Thank you so much Harry idk how I’ll ever repay you for everything you’ve done for me.” Harry smiles softly “it’s okay just happy to have someone around”

I grab a cart when we first arrive and Harry grabs a basket then we go our separate ways. I head towards the beauty section and grab myself some shampoo, conditioner, body scrub, loofah, moisturizer. Then I make my way over to the clothing section and rummage through and grab a few basic items. Tops, bottoms, undies, a couple bras, a hoodie and decide last minute to grab a new bikini. At the checkout I grab a few magazines to read either in the truck or at the hotel I should’ve looked in the book section but maybe Harry will take me to a bookstore somewhere nearby if I ask.

The grand total is $144. I bag everything up and then decide to head towards the parts of the store he said he might be. I run into him in the automotive section like he said, his basket filled with a few random items I couldn’t even name if I tried. he’s chatting up a blonde woman who’s leaning against the aisle of car fresheners and apparently thinks everything he says is the funniest thing ever as she blinks her long black mascara covered lashes at him.

I slowly walk up to them with my cart, he still hasn’t even noticed me as he continues to hit on her. I shouldn’t be feeling this way, he’s allowed to hit on other women I mean he’s not my boyfriend. But yet I still feel this little bit of anger bubble inside me as I decide to tap him lightly on the leg with my cart. “Found you. I’m done, think I got everything” I look him in the eyes and then dart them towards the woman standing opposite him quickly at the end. “Oh, here. I’ll be right out.” Harry hands me the keys and I quickly turn my cart around and head towards the entrance.

Settled in the truck with my bags tied up on the bed in the back after pushing my cart back into the cart return, I kick off my shoes and pull out one of my magazines to flip through as I wait for Mr flirt to get back.

I know it’s not my business who he talks to but what’s his game plan with that woman? I mean if he wanted to he can’t very well bring her back to the motel with us unless he kicks me out while doing so.

That’s a possibility I never even thought of, he could very well ‘fall in love’ somewhere on this trip and I’d have to find another way to the west coast or home and I mean im not going to get in his way either if he finds his true love out here but then I’m stuck in the same situation of trying to find a ride-

Harry pulls open his door and interrupts my inner monologue thankfully.

“Sorry got distracted there. Did you find everything you need?” I nod my head and purse my lips as I continue to flip through my magazine. I just realized I kept overthinking everything and didn’t actually read anything yet. “Oh here, it only came up to like $144, so here’s what’s left” I ruffle through my pockets for the change. Harry grabs my hand and shakes his head “hey no, just keep it, incase you need something and I’m not around.”

Back at the motel I’m in my house coat again as Harry throws both our dirty clothes in the wash and I get busy taking the tags off all my new items and lay outfits out on the bed. I should’ve got another duffle bag but everything fits neatly aside from what I picked out to wear with enough room for my stuff in the wash. Harry opens the motel door and hands me a couple pamphlets of diners and restaurants around town. “These are all within walking distance of the motel” he states before sitting on his bed.

“You pick, I’m not particular about what I want” I toss them back without even looking at them. Harry looks at the scattered pamphlets in disbelief “are you still in your pissy mood? You’ve had an attitude since we left the store I know there’s something bothering you why not just spit it out?” He collects them and places them neatly on the night stand between us. I quickly turn away from him as I roll my eyes but don’t notice the mirror opposite me that gave me away. “Don’t roll your eyes, just talk to me.” I grab my clothes and turn to go change in the bathroom.

Once the doors closed I feel my eyes start to water and feel like im overthinking and overreacting. He’s been such a kind person to me and continues to be so why should I give him the cold shoulder just because my delusions think I own him. I quickly dress into a white button up long sleeve, not bothering with a bra again, (honestly sitting in my bra all day has made indents in my skin and it’s more comfy not wearing one) and blue jeans and wash my face with cold water to help mask my tears and take a few breaths.

After a few minutes I open the door and hang my housecoat in the closet before turning to Harry. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s come over me, maybe I’m more tired then I thought. You can pick where we eat.”

Seeming to accept my apology and excuse of being overtired. Harry says a quiet okay an gets up to grab his boots and I follow behind him to leave the room.

We give the washer some more time before we leave the motel. That way one of us can switch the load to the dryer once it’s ready and will have a longer time to get supper.

Thirty minutes pass, I offer to switch the clothes and Harry locks up the room then leads the way towards the restaurant he’s chosen for us this evening.

The walk is quiet but peaceful, the sun slowly trying to set amongst the mountainous terrain as the sky turns purple then blue with tiny sparkly stars trying their best to shine through. We pull up to a pub called the hose and hound. “They have good wings and the beer selection is decent” Harry speaks the for the first time since leaving the motel. I nod my head and follow in after him.

“Harry! Long time no see, haven’t seen your mug in damn near almost a year!” A joyous man shouts over the jukebox as he wipes a large beer mug dry before swinging his small towel over his left shoulder.

“Been a bit busy yeah, trying to get the orders done up so I can take some time off before the end of summer”

The man puts the mug behind him on the pantry and leans over to shake hands with Harry. “Marv this here’s my friend Y/N, she’s hitching a ride out to cali” Marv then shakes my hand before kissing the back of it “nice to meet you miss Y/N, what can I get you?”

I look around at what everyone else is drinking and notice it’s not catered as much towards women so I ask for a rum and coke as I’m not much of a drinker and usually go off the drinks menu when ordering colourful cocktails.

“Coming right up, Harry the usual?” Harry nods and holds my hand as he walks us over to a booth by the window. A waitress walks over and slides us each a menu, Harry lets her know that Marv already took our drink order and she winks at him with a “I’ll be back to take your orders handsome” and she walks away with an extra swing in her hips.

Harry seems to notices and doesn’t care as he picks up his menu.

For a pub there’s a surprising amount of dishes and sides to order. I’m not as hungry as I should be I feel like guilt is still weighing me down. Harry’s been nothing but kind and patient with me and the first chance I get I bark at him? No wonder my ex cheated.

Harry excitedly talks about his favourite dishes he orders when he drives through this town and decides to settle on a nacho platter for us to split and chicken thigh with mashed potatoes for his main meal. I agree to the nachos and ask for a chicken ceaser salad.

“Is that going to fill you love?” Harry asks as I put my menu down. “Yeah, I’m not very hungry still.”

Harry reaches over and strokes my hand “something’s bothering you pet I can sense it.”

I look up at him through my lashes and then dart my eyes down as I fiddle with my fingers folded ontop of the menu. “It’s silly. Really I don’t know what I was thinking” I smile trying to drop the subject but Harry wasn’t having it. “If it’s bothering you it’s not silly, let me help you.” I bite my lower lip just as the waitress arrives with our drinks and takes our order and menus. “I think.. maybe, I was jealous earlier and it kind of made me feel like I don’t matter to you and it brought up my feelings I spent the whole day trying to forget.” Harry furrows his brows as he tries to think of what I could be jealous over. “ are you jealous of the waitress? She winks at all the truckers here, I imagine she does it to get good tips.” Harry exasperates with a chuckle.

“No, not her. Uhm the uh, the girl in Walmart earlier. She looked at you like you hung the moon until I arrived anyways. I just, I know I don’t have a right to have these feelings over you because we’re not together, but I just I don’t know… it’s been nice imagining a relationship where it’s just us, and I don’t want to make this weird between us because I’m really appreciative that you decided to bring me along I just, I just want to get it off my chest I guess. Because it has been bothering me” I sigh. He’s been looking at me so intently as I rant and I immediately want to crawl under a rock. I bite my lip as I wait for him to respond, I take a large swig of my drink thinking of a exit strategy where he can give me the motel key so I can run back and hop in bed hoping to be asleep by the time he’s back but instead he lightly laughs before shaking his head. “Love, she was just talking about semi’s with me. Her dad owns a shop that specializes in semi repair that’s it. We’re talking about my truck babe, the brakes are squealing and they’re brand new they shouldn’t be doing that. That’s all we were talking about, she looked like that because she was happy to talk her dad up and gained a customer that’s it” “oh I see” is all I can reply with. I mean I just basically admitted to possibly having feelings for this guy right to his face and he’s chuckling like I didn’t just bare my emotions to him.

Harry lightly draws on the back of my hand before interlocking our fingers together. “And I like you too by the way, you’re braver than me though I’ll give you that. I nearly pissed myself asking you to stay with me til I get to Cali I was hoping to ask you out proper earlier but didn’t know how to form the words in a way that didn’t scare you off” He states. I’m at a loss for words as he admits to liking me too. I mean that’s such a big weight off my shoulders after he tells me that. “You were going to ask me out?” I ask in disbelief. “Well, yeah. I mean I know you’re not looking for a relationship so soon so I didn’t want to push and risk freaking you out. But I think you’re pretty and I feel like we’d be a good match for each other… what do you say?” I nod my head eagerly “yes I’ll go out with you” I laugh “I guess you can say this is our first date then” Harry smiles.

Marv keeps our glasses filled as the night goes on, our waitress has gone home.The salad is more filling than anticipated and the nachos were amazing.

The pub starts to clear out as the night grows darker. Marv plays some slow country ballads. Harry bounces his leg with the beat and hums along, and I organize our plates so it’s easier for the busboy to carry I imagine Harry’s as buzzed as I am. The waitress comes by with some cold glasses of water and the bill which Harry slides a few bills ontop of “come on dance with me before we head back” “no Harry I don’t know how to dance” I protest but stand from my seat anyways. Harry shakes his head and furrows his brow “come love, it’s easy just follow my step. I want to dance with the prettiest girl here” I look around and notice almost no one’s here. “I’m the only girl here Harry that’s hardly a compliment” I argue but take his hand and follow him to the dance floor near the jukebox.

Harry pulls me closer to him til our chests are touching, he pulls my right hand into his left and his left hand he puts around my waist and settles on the lower of my back. The music is slow and all the other guests seem to in their own world at their seats nodding their heads and tapping their feet. I only had 3 rum and cokes and Harry had 3 glasses of beer. Both of us feeling light as feather but in reality I bet our dancing is so off.

Harry grabs my chin with his pointer finger and lifts it to look up at him and we lock eyes as the song comes to an end. Just as I’m about to pull away, Harry leans down and kisses me gently on the lips and I lean into the kiss. Harry lets go of my body and cups my face with both hands as he then kisses me harder this time. “Let’s get outta here” he whispers and I nod.

Harry grabs my hand as he makes his way to Marv at the bar. “Great food and atmosphere as always Marv. Keep it up! Well catch you again next time we’re in town” Harry shakes Marvs hand and pulls him into a slight hug over the countertop. Marv waves bye to me and blows me a kiss that Harry catches instead and we all laugh as Harry places the kiss on his own cheek.

On the walk home both of us dragging our feet, Harry points to random places along the way. Shops he likes to frequent when he has more than an night off, a bookstore, a pet store that has a pet monkey who’s no longer for sale and is part of the staff, and a camera shop where he usually buys his film as he likes to take shots of nature on the highway.

We make our way to our room before remembering our clothes in the dryer, I follow Harry as he picks up our clothes and notice our laundry basket was stolen. No big deal though it belongs to the motel but it’s a hassle having to carry it all in our arms without dropping anything.

Once inside and the doors shut and locked we toss our clothes in a pile on the extra bed by the bathroom, Harry turns to grab my face in both his hands and kisses me. Softly at first maybe to test the waters before he deepens it and nudges my mouth open with his tongue. Beer coating his breath he moves us close to the edge of his bed by the window Harry roams my body with his hands, stopping for a moment at my hips before moving his right hand up to cup my right breast. “Been fucking teasing me all evening with these nipples. Could see them poking out of your shirt at the pub. Damn near could see the colour and outline and everything.” Harry whispers against my lips before using his hand to lift my shirt up and over my breasts. He then leans down and licks then sucks my right nipple then moves to the left and does the same, only this time nipping at my left.

I bite my lip as the feeling sends a spark down to my clit and I buck towards him slightly.

Harry stands up lifting my shirt off completely before tossing it behind on the floor. Next he dips his fingers into my jeans and shimmies them down with my underwear and helps me step out of them. “Lay down on the bed for me baby” he puts his hand on my chest as he pushes me backwards and I sit on the end of bed before pulling myself more centre.

Harry unbuttons his shirt in the mean time not once breaking eye contact with me as I lay down and look up at him. He unbuckles his belt next then crawls onto the bed and hooks his hands under my thighs til he grabs hold of my hips and pulls me closer towards him til my pussy is right front of his face. “Wait, you don’t have to do that if you don’t want..” I tell him, as I move my hand to cup myself but Harry grabs onto my hand and holds it down beside me. “I’m going to eat your pussy. I’m going to make it messy. And you’re going to be a good girl and let me.” I whisper out an okay as Harry then licks a strip up then down before delving his tongue in and going straight for my clit. I haven’t experienced this before, my ex wasn’t a big fan of making me cum so to have someone who’s so eager to devour me is a whole new experience that feels so thrilling.

Harry holds down my hips from bucking towards his face as I greedily want his tongue deeper. He then moves his hand from under me and uses two fingers to slide between my folds and hold me open as he uses his tongue to circle my clit before sucking it, I moan loudly as I use my hands to grab onto my breasts, playing with my hardened nipples as he uses those same fingers to push inside me as he hooks his middle finger up to press on my gspot just under my clit. “Im going to cum, I’m going to cum please” I chant as I try wiggle away from his mouth not wanting to squirt in his face. Harry keeps his assault on my clit steady as I moan and cum all over his mouth and the sheets.

“Told you I’d make it messy baby” he proudly claims as he climbs up my body kissing me on the hipbone, then my bellybutton, my left breast, my collarbone, then my lips. I slowly come down from my climax, my breathing returning to normal. “Thank you” I whisper against his lips as he litters my mouth with kisses. Still on top of me Harry then reaches down and holds my knee to the side as he then moves back to kneel between my legs. My hands are rubbing down my body caressing every point he kissed as he reaches into his wallet in his back pocket and pulls out a condom. He pulls himself out of his jeans and wiggles his boxers down and I watch as his he rolls the condom onto his lengthy cock. My mouth waters at the idea of sucking it, maybe someday if not tonight.

Harry then leans down and lines himself up with my core tapping the tip of his cock against my budding clit before sliding it down and inside me. I close my eyes as I feel the burning stretch of him filling me up. I grab hold of his sides with my hands, my fingertips slightly digging in as he continues to push in, my walls adjusting to his size as they pulse around him. Harry sighs as he dives his head into the pillow beside my head. He stills himself as if he’s silently asking if im okay for him to move, I nod my head like I’m reading his mind and whimper “I’m okay” he then pulls out and this time is faster as he pushes himself in.

He holds onto my head with his right hand as he pumps himself in and out of my weeping hole, moaning in my ear to “take it like a good girl” I hold myself in place by gripping his back with my nails I can feel myself ready to cum again already. I whimper “please don’t stop I’m almost there..” as I purposefully squeeze his cock with my pussy but just then he lets go of my head and pushes himself up and pulls out.

I reach out to grab him but he grabs my hand and places it on my tummy. “Turn around face down ass up” I do as I’m told as quickly as I can and Harry grabs hold of my hips as he lines himself up again. “You ever been fucked in this tight hole before?” Harry asks as he traces a circle with his thumb. “No, but I’ve always wanted to try” I say as I try to look at him. Harry then guides himself back into my weeping hole and the delicious burn of his thick cock filling me has me closing my eyes again as I try to concentrate on getting my orgasm back.

“Well we’ll save that for another night. Don’t want to be greedy with you just yet baby”

Harry keeps a rhythmed pace as he continues to fuck me from behind using his hands to guide my hips to smash back onto him. I can feel my orgasm growing again, this time leading my own hand underneath me between my legs to my clit to rub tight little circles with my ring and middle finger “that’s a good girl, come on my cock baby” Harry urges as he quickens the pace, seeming to be chasing his own high. I moan loudly as I cum, my body shaking as I squirt and I bring my fingers to my mouth to lick them clean. Harry follows quick with a few hard grunts and moans as I feel himself still inside me filling up the condom.

I move to push myself up by my arms as Harry leans down and litters my neck with kisses down my spine. He pulls out and I’m left feeling empty as he then ties a knot in the condom and tosses it in the trash under the nightstand. I kneel on the bed, suddenly becoming more aware of my surroundings, the sheets are soaked underneath me but Harry still climbs into bed next to me before pulling my arm to lay beside him. Our breathing erratic as we try to catch our breath.

“So…” Harry starts. “So…” I copy. Harry runs his finger up and down my arm “so, what are you thinking?” He asks quietly. The only light in the room coming from the old lampshade that flickers with a buzzing sound. “I think, if you continue to fuck me like that, then I’ll follow you anywhere.” I chuckle before looking at Harry. He grabs hold of my neck gently with his free hand and pulls me into a kiss.

“Deal.”

[totallynormaly]

Dinopants fics rec because I'm sad today.

—Modern, College/University fics—

Take Me to College by @femcpilled , it's a college fic about Diego and Hp in a secret relationship and they hide it from their roommates aka Johnny and Gyro. unfinished but I swear it so so gud, I literally reread it for so many times it's unhealthy oml.

Little Monsters by OneSarcasticTremere, college/university with magic fic about regular student HP checks out in a park in search for the lizard assuming it was made up then meets dino-form Diego in a middle of the night. Another fic that I can't stop reread, I rlly love this, this has a bit of Gyjo in it but they appear later in the fic. Finished

Spin This! by polyphenols, Modern Office au slice of life sitcom, unfinished, this is about Diego bizarre working experience at an office with his weird co-workers and weirder boss but a lot of things happen such as people fall in love and screaming, look at me in my eyes when I say I love this fic so much I think about it like so often, I rlly rec it.

—Canon Divergence/not au fics—

Place of Warmth by margointhesea, Romcom, a story about Diego and Hp horsin through a rlly bad and heavy snowing so they decided to seek a shelter and discover something rather unexpected. I'm pretty sure most people read this already but still I wanna rec this anyway because yk this is my fav, the relationship between them is so gud and them growing on each other is 🤫😘 (I can't find the chef kiss) finished

Don't need to know where you come from by quichevosgienne, a finished one-shot, it's js Diego cares about Hp because she keeps putting herself in danger, I luv this fic so much I would do everything for it, if someone ask me what would I choose between free-subway food or read this fic for first time again I would choose read this for first time again, idk I'm js rlly cling to it.

Temporary Highs by Widdledoppio, unfinished but u can read as one-shot (if u r the author I still want another chapter btw, no pressure), gender fluid HP, this story is about Hp having a crush on Diego but she doesn't confess to him because she's still hasn't reveal to him yet that she's actually biologically woman. I rlly love this fic not to mention that this fic makes me discover my gender loll

I think we're alone now by ObsessionFandom, finished slowburn, enemies to lovers, this fic is VERY VERY ADORABLE SNNDHXJDJDUCJRJRHD THIS CURES ME ON SO MANY LEVEL. This fic has 2 ending btw.

I Love You Too Much by CorydoraWithATypewriter, finished one-shot, warning for cannibalism and unrequited love. Basically Diego confess his love but he doesn't take it very well when gets reject. I love the writing so much but yea I cried.

–‘I dunno what category these are’ fics–

Blessings Passed by cookiebabbus, Fantasy, monsters and magic fic. it's a story about dragon Diego got cruse (bless) to become human and take care under a human named HP. It's a series fic but I'm pretty sure u can read without read a fic before that, js read some comment section under the first chapter there's an explanation for some questions under there. This one is so so sweet I adore the relationship between them in this fic so much I luv it too much. Finished

Scary Monsters Tempt Hot Pants by @satanic-panic-fanfic, 17th county era finished and stands still exist fic. HP the nun is staying up to make sure that whatever the thing that eats chicken be taken down by the order of the priest of the church, her plans seem to be change after she sees him. I luv luv luv this fic so much, I mean, what's not to love about it? Slow burn, checked. Nun hp, checked. Dino, checked. AND MANY MANY MORE that I'm too scare to spoil.

I fell asleep, but u gte my ponitser

[peanutbutterlover02]

welcome to new york

Masterlist | part 2 |

Summary: You got accepted to your dream university in New York, majoring in dance, but there was a catch. Your old friend Sohee had come up with the brilliant idea of placing you in an apartment with one of his closest friends—someone you’d never met before. Now, faced with this unexpected roommate situation, you couldn’t help but feel a mix of excitement and anxiety. How would you navigate living with a total stranger? Would you two get along, or would it be awkward?

Contains: fluff

🎧welcome to new york - Taylor Swift🎧

In the dimly lit, cozy dance studio tucked away in the corner of California, you stand alone in front of the mirrored wall. Your breathing is steady, eyes locked on your own reflection. The music started as you slowly began the routine you just made, your body fluid and controlled, moving with precision and grace, gliding across the worn wooden floor, the scuff marks a testament to countless rehearsals, as your breath fills the room once you finished your dance routine.

Still struggling to catch air, you heard a sharp sound of a single hand clap echo through the empty room, making you turn your head. “That was amazing y/n! You'll for sure get accepted”, Julie, your best friend told you with a bright smile on her face, amazed with your new dance routine.

“You think so?, I’m really scared to send in the submission..”, you asked, doubting yourself. “Why? This has been your dream for years.. Just send it in or should I do it for you? Hmm?”, Julie replied, raising one of her eyebrows as she stared at you with a confused look on her face.

You chuckled, “Okay, okayy i'll send it in now, don't worry”, you answered while opening up your laptop and getting ready to send in your audition tape to your dream university in New York. You have been talking about applying to universities with Julie ever since sophomore year, and the both of you are more than excited for this. Too bad, your best friend Julie had to stay and go to a university in California because of her family but she kept pushing you to apply to your dream university.

Months passed and here you were, stepping out of the terminal as the city of New York welcomes you. Everywhere, you see people move with purpose through the crowd with ease. The smell of street food filled your scent, as you walked through the foreign city of dreams.

Thankfully, months prior before moving you had contacted an old friend of yours, Sohee. He’s a student majoring in music at NYU who has moved to New York ever since highschool due to his parents. You were thankful that he was able to find you a nice two bedroom apartment… TWO BEDROOM?

“Sohee! I didn’t realize it would be a two-bedroom apartment. It’s too pricey for my budget... Aren’t there any studio apartments nearby?” you asked, your annoyance creeping in, tinged with sadness. Sohee let out a resigned sigh. “Just be grateful I was able to find you this one. All the studio apartments around here are sold out; this was the only place left close to campus.”

Sohee smiled gently, trying to lift your spirits. “Look, it has a great view and a pool downstairs. Plus, there’s a dance studio on the 3rd floor gym”. You wiped away a tear, your voice shaky. “But what about the rent?” The reality of the situation loomed large, making it hard to focus on the appealing features when the financial burden felt so heavy.

Sohee couldn't help but chuckle at your reaction. “You’ll be fine! You’ll have a roommate, so you can split the rent with him.”

“A ROOMMATE? Sohee, why didn’t you mention that earlier? You made me worried—I thought I’d have to cover everything on my own!” Your expression shifted dramatically, a smile breaking through as relief washed over you. “So when is she getting here?” you asked, curiosity sparking in your eyes.

“He’s arriving tomorrow”, Sohee replied bluntly.

You gasped, your face a mask of disbelief. “HE? TOMORROW?! SOHEE? HOW COULD YOU?”.

Sohee burst into a fit of laughter, clearly amused by your shock. “Relax! He’s my best friend. Plus, he’s also a student at NYU, majoring in music like I am. And trust me, he’s really nice,” He reassured you, wiping away tears of laughter while trying to calm your frayed nerves.

Once Sohee left you alone in the apartment, a wave of nerves washed over you as you prepared to meet your new, unannounced roommate. You could almost picture Sohee patting himself on the back for throwing two total strangers together in one space. To distract yourself from that unsettling thought, you cranked up the music on your mini speaker, letting the upbeat tunes fill the room as you started unpacking your essentials. Fortunately, the apartment was fully furnished with brand-new furniture, so all you needed to do was organize your clothes, making the task feel a bit less daunting.

Once you were settled in, you dialed your friend’s number to share about today's events. As you caught up with Julie, she filled you in on how she was adjusting to her new dorm room at her university. The conversation flowed effortlessly, laughter and stories bouncing back and forth, and before you knew it, hours had slipped by without you even realizing it..

You jolted awake to the blaring alarm, heart pounding as you saw the clock read 7:00. “Shit.. When is he arriving?”, you muttered, quickly grabbing your phone to check the messages from Sohee. Scrolling through, you found his texts confirming that his friend would be there at 10:00 AM.

“Great, enough time to get ready and make breakfast,” you told yourself, dragging yourself toward the shower in your room for a refreshing cold rinse. As the cool water cascaded over you, a wave of gratitude washed over you for the apartment’s separate bathrooms. The thought of not having to battle your new roommate for bathroom time was a relief, allowing you to enjoy your morning routine without any added stress.

You finished getting ready and was preparing a light brunch for yourself, music blasting through your earphones, when a soft knock on the door interrupted you.

“Huh? But it’s only 9:00? Maybe it’s Sohee?”, you began walking towards the door. And as you slowly opened it, there stood a tall, effortlessly handsome, brown haired boy with a casual smile that made your pulse quicken. The sunlight framed him perfectly, highlighting the sharp angles of his jaw and the warmth in his eyes. You swallowed, suddenly hyper-aware of the door in your hand and the way your heart seemed to skip a beat as his gaze met yours.

“Hi, I’m Anton, Sohee’s friend.. You must be y/n?”.

a/n: hey! Just letting u know this will be a whole series so pls check out the masterlist, mwah. Also, I was heavily inspired by a bunch of songs in my playlist, might as well use em as titles amirite?