#i think i need to examine this
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Thing today will probably be very late.
....
Or pulling something unfinished from the archives to finish.
....
Or pulling something old and unposted from the archives.
We'll see.
#musings#december banditnanza 2024#last year i was better about this#i was going to sleep earlier and waking up earlier to make sure something got posted#this year...i'm not doing that#which means that on days when i plan to get out and do stuff - like today - posts go up later#so#rethinking how i want to do this next year#IF i want to do this next year#last year i was doing this as a morale boost#this year that's why things in november#but at some point i wonder if i'm really doing this to morale boost#or if i've switched into 'i said i would do a daily thing and i'm gonna do it'#or 'how long can i keep this up'#or as a personal challenge#which was not the original point of the stuff#like - compare with someone else who has been intentionally doing this as a gift to the community#am i still doing this as a gift to y'all?#or is it just about me?#is that what the monday updates have shifted into over the year?#i...hm#why i do the thing matters#because it changes how i approach the thing#i think i need to examine this
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they are putting yaoi in the city art museum and censoring nsfw content with heat-responsive material so you have to put your hands on it to see dick
#just thinking thoughts...#I'm not sure I fully agree with whether it needs to be censored at all#but I do really like how they've resolved the situation#look at yaoi with a sense of purpose etc. get personal with it. if you choose not to then why not#places I'd love to take hypercapitalist taiwanese brazilian dude so he can examine his discomfort with yaoi lmaooo#'bro you are drawing so much gay shit... your plausible deniability is wearing thin... are you sure you're not a fudanshi'#<- the correct gendering on this still sends me every time
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thinking about not only the specific people lucanis pulls in to represent the 'locks' in his psyche, but the storytelling that happens in the structure/order of them. the underlying ideas are presented something like:
the lucanis who went into the ossuary never came back out again; he died down there (the boy caterina raised is gone forever) -> you're putting yourself in danger doing this (by being close to me), you should leave because I can't bear it if you get hurt because of me -> it doesn't matter even if we do try this, it won't work anyway (again because of me) ('you know what he's like, you can open the door but he won't walk through it' :'( oofie doofie) -> what if the real secret is that there was never anything but the monster in here from the beginning. you should leave, there was never anything here worth saving in the first place. (implicitly: what if I deserved what happened, all along.)
it runs pretty cleanly from outward-oriented attachment anxiety ('caterina won't even want me back like this, she won't recognize me (the same way I no longer recognize myself)) and gradually deeper inwards until we reach self-image and self worth. or you know, the harrowing basic lack of it lol.
"careful -- they'll know we're not right," spite says in one of their first scenes... but clearly, some very deep part of lucanis has feared or suspected for much longer than that that there's something inherently not right at the core of him, way before any demon entered the picture. and the voice he gives those lines to is the person who should know him better than anyone in the world, who he has loved more than anyone in the world -- and who deliberately chose to hurt him so horrifically anyway. 'It's better if I'm just a monster and deserved what happened than it is to allow for the idea that the brother I love doesn't really exist and maybe never did'. it's better if he's fundamentally flawed in some way that needed fixing to help him survive, and that's why caterina chose to hurt him again and again -- out of love. (this one I think he might have a very sad wakeup call on one day if he ever ends up with the responsibility and care of a child of his own in some way and realizes just how alien the idea of ever intentionally hurting them for any reason is to him. oh buddy. also interesting that he keeps caterina as the outermost lock -- there IS a distance he keeps there that he hasn't with illario. he doesn't resent her 'anymore' he says, but he also keeps her carefully further away from his deepest self.)
as far as I could tell the only note in the mind prison that's fully hidden and needs to be uncovered is the sad painful helpless stupid little truth that even after all this, even knowing what happened... he still loves his brother. is there anything illario could ever do that would make lucanis completely stop loving him, do you think? sometimes the trouble with unconditional love is that it is, well. unconditional, even when some terms and conditions probably would have been in order haha.
that's the pattern you see there again and again; he would rather destroy and abandon and imprison himself at every turn than let go of love, even when it's just scraps, even when there's only ever enough of it to hurt him. it's only when rook shows up and as it were takes his hand and walks along with him that he can entertain the idea of changing the story of what walking out the door might mean in the end.
#tl;dr the demon is a metaphor about dissociation and trauma and it's doing its job thematically fucking pitch perfectly that way the end#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#dragon age meta#this mission is like ds9 the wire in terms of episodes you really can examine from a thousand different angles#and find something new and soulcrushingly sad every time. exactly my kind of episode in other words#whenever people say there's nothing to him but coffee and spite jokes some small part of me goes 'oh I'm so incredibly sorry!#it must be really hard and so impractical to go through life without being able to read :'( get better soon'#is that very nice of me. perhaps not. is the writing here *perfect*? of course not. but some people are also dedicated to being#wilfully blind (presumably b/c they would have preferred to see something else?? idk man)#lucanis' reaction to taash going 'I'm sorry I'm such a bad crow :'('... he could NEVER do what caterina did with him no matter what#you just can't use him like that. he needs the clean family/enemy/contract distinction or you just break him!!!#caterina literally what are you thinking. every day I ask myself this. (probably 'the only other option that keeps the seat in the family#is illario. so that's right out of course' lmao)#god forbid it happen anytime soon if it should happen b/c there's Stuff that needs working through first lol but he'd be such a soft dad
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To be made an Other.
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I was looking at an old post and a certain line still hits me so I decided to make it a dedicated comic.
#moomins#moominvalley#art#joxter#moomin joxter#the joxter#comic#I think there's something to be said about the fanon around 'Mumriks' and the accidentally reinvention of antisemitic/romani stereotypes#I may need to do more proper research both in those preexisting stereotypes and what some fans have made Joxter and Snufkin into#but I do think it would be a worthwhile examination of this accidentally phenomenon.#and I have to emphasize 'accidental' hear because I know most of the time people are just unconsciously recreating those stereotypes#because of fandom flanderization and thinking certain stuff would be Cool#just. idk I think it's an issue that needs to be examined more carefully when it comes to internalized biases and careless fanonization#here because*#I referenced my own hand for Joxter's paw btw that's why it's so. grossly detailed lmao
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#snake#snakes#pets#hognoses#hognose#sakura#sakura kurīmu#this was shortly after she joined our family and was still in her baby bin#she wanted a friend so bad she befriended the camera#this poor poor lonely noodle#it was not long after she and scoria were allowed to meet and then refused to be separated#they go in their own little sleeping hides at night#but they both get very upset if the other is away for long#they'll watch me holding the other#and sakura has a conniption if I take her sister out of the room to play in another area#they absolutely need each other#The way she initially attempted to bond with the camera reminded me of Harry Harlow's monkey experiment with surrogate monkeys#it is INCREDIBLY sad that these animals desperately wanted love and affection SO BADLY they turned to the closest they could find#which were inanimate objects that couldn't really love them back but it was better than nothing#that can't have been good for their psychological development for so so many reasons#but now that Sakura has the love and support of her sibling Scoria I don't ever intend to separate them so long as adult hormonal changes#don't suddenly make them go to sweet with each other to aggressive#again I think the agression or at least eating of smaller males comes from psychological issues not the species seeking out and eating them#like king snakes intentionally do#at least with girls I do not have experience with boys#but maybe someone with a strong understanding of snakes and their psychology and body language might pick up where I cannot examine such#once again my tags are longer than the post itself lol
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HUNGER GAMES (SUNRISE ON THE REAPING) THEORIES: the "sunrise" over the reaping is maysilee
I have been going so absolutely bats off the wall ever since the SOTR announcement that I spent a whole day formulating my theories into in-depth essays and backing them up with canon... here ya go.
So, after some analysis of everything we know about the saga, chapter 14 of Catching Fire, and how Collins writes so far...
I present my theory on the new hunger games book: that the "sunrise" over the reaping is symbolic of Maysilee Donner, the former owner of the mockingjay pin.
I think Maysilee is going to be a symbol of the goodness, kindness, light, etc, of humanity, in the face of the reaping, in the face of violence and war. Aka the theme of the entire series. Aka a symbol of defiance just like Lucy Gray and her kindness. I mean, losing all his metaphorical light is what causes Haymitch to become a drunk... And likely to become so protective over Katniss and Peeta.
I also think the cover is going to have a mockingjay and a sunrise. Cause, Suzanne Collins is VERY intentional about her titles. The themes she uses. The imagery. The covers. It's all part of the story.
HOW COLLINS HAS USED THEME BEFORE
TBOSAS was called "songbird and snakes" which was symbolic of the nature of good vs. evil.
There's essays everywhere about how the songbird represents good (in Lucy Gray) and how the snake represents evil (in Coriolanus Snow), how they are symbolically shown to have both natures by using both snakes and songbirds as weapons, but one nature ultimately prevails. TBOSAS is about the struggle between humanity's two natures, and how we can ultimately prevail in one or the other. The crest of the mockingjay and the snake, is symbolic of said theme.
Songbirds represent everything Lucy Gray is—free, wild, untamed, kind, colorful, a singer, a performer, honest and moral and true and good.
Snakes represent everything Coriolanus Snow is—deceptive, cunning, ruthless, adaptable, charming, determined to survive, everything sly and wicked and game playing.
And yet, they are shown to have the inverse as well. Lucy Gray is also cunning, and deceptive, and determined to survive. Coryo is also caring (about certain people), honest (he's bad at lying, and in THG he agrees to never lie to Katniss), and enjoys the idea of freedom.
They wield both natures and this struggle is portrayed throughout the story. Hence: A Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes. Hence: a snake and a bird on the cover.
Suzanne Collins is also no stranger to complimentary characters.
Lucy Gray and Snow are inverses of each other, both similar and wildly different. They work well... Until the difference in their nature tears them apart.
She makes use of complimentary characters to emphasize theme throughout her books, constantly. We see with Katniss and Peeta, how Katniss is war-torn, distrusting, afraid, how easily she could become like Snow, how her motivations for security could become corrupted into a ruthlessness to survive just like Snow was driven by his fear. She is difficult, jaded, and tormented, but underneath that she does have a heart of gold and wants goodness to prevail.
Peeta is her dandelion in the spring, her hope, representative of the goodness left in humanity, he seems soft but he is a lot stronger than his peers would think or give him credit for. She clings to him because in a world of darkness he serves as light, as a reminder that not everyone is selfish, that kindness and morality do exist even if she's inclined to think people just are out for themselves.
He is full of light and her darkness falls for that because she needs light and goodness to heal, to believe, to fight for.
He is her compliment, where she is afraid, a survivor and a fighter, and sometimes rude or selfish seeming, and struggles to show her emotions and how much she cares, more like Haymitch—
Peeta is kind, brave, soft, and charming, has a way with people's hearts, and yet also strong in his own ways and in his morals, determined not to let the capitol force him to lose his humanity.
This nature of humanity, of goodness, of light, is reflected in other characters.
Prim is that role to Katniss as well. She is a soft girl, innocent, sensitive, tender hearted, kind, a healer, which is part of why Katniss loves her so much.
Prim is a reminder of humanity, which Katniss needs, and it's why Katniss chooses Peeta over Gale. Prim is also contrasted against Katniss. Rue likewise, is similar, she's a symbol of hope and kindness set against Katniss.
We see this utilization of complimentary characters all over— Haymitch and Effie, one being a crude yet intelligent and snarky arrogant tormented and drunken victor from District 12, the other being a prim and proper rich Capitol girl, airheaded, brainwashed, sheltered, yet endearing and caring all the same. They're polar opposites, but they work so well together, both as teammates and as friends. There's a reason the fandom ships them and sees them as the beer uncle and wine aunt of THG, as parental roles to Katniss and Peeta.
Suzanne Collins knows what she's doing. She knows how to write characters that compliment or parallel each other and how to weaponize symbolism and imagery for a powerful theme. (Katniss and Peeta, Lucy Gray and Snow, Haymitch and Effie, Katniss and Prim, Prim and Rue, Katniss and Snow, Rue and the mockingjay, Snow and Coin)
HOW THIS APPLIES TO SUNRISE ON THE REAPING
If she describes young Haymitch as arrogant, snarky, nonchalant, dangerous, smart, capable, etc... Maysilee is likely gonna be his compliment: kind, moral, gentle, soft, willing to call his more selfish means out.
She's the one who saves him and had the idea for the alliance. She's the one who split because she didn't want it to come down to killing each other.
I am convinced the reason Haymitch sets up Peeta and Katniss to work together as teammates from district 12, is because he did that with Maysilee.
He's doing what him and Maysilee failed to do. They agreed to break off the alliance, and look what happened. She died. Why do you think he's so insistent on Katniss and Peeta working together? That Peeta is keeping her alive, that she doesn't deserve him, that she should be more grateful?
Because he sees Maysilee in Peeta, and himself in Katniss. Haysilee (regardless of if they're a ship or platonic) is a gender reversed parallel to Everlark. Perhaps he's harder on Katniss because he sees himself in her, and kinder to Peeta because he sees Maysilee in him. For all we know, Haysilee could have even incited their own rebellion that the capitol snuffed out (suzanne said the main theme of SOTR was essentially propaganda and lies, covering up the truth for the masses).
MAYSILEE IS SOFT LIKE MADGE & PRIM
Further on why I think Maysilee will be a soft sunshine girl—because her niece, MADGE, is exactly that. Golden haired, kind, softened. Selfless. Everything the capitol tries to destroy. Everything the capitol sees as rebellion.
Madge likely got her soft nature from her mom or her aunt (Maysilee), who are twins. They also all have sunshine golden hair.
It's essentially implied Madge is like her aunt.
And guess what? Prim is a blond soft girl and it's implied she's like HER mom, who was close friends with Maysilee.
Katniss' mom was also a soft girl before the trauma shut her down. Clearly Prim gets her own sunshine healer nature from her mother, because Katniss is more is rugged and protective like her father. She fills in for protecting them when he dies, and even notes her mom is too soft and fragile to deal with certain hardships the way Katniss does.
If Katniss' mother is friends with Maysilee, not to mention their daughter and niece are both soft healer kind sunshine girls who seem to take after the rest of their family.... It's likely that Maysilee is like Prim and Madge. Birds of a feather flock together and all. Of course they would bond.
MAYSILEE IS A SYMBOL OF LIGHT
Here's more on why I think the sunrise is Maysilee.
Madge gave the mockingjay pin to Katniss, from Maysilee. SHE WAS THE FORMER OWNER OF THE MOCKINGJAY PIN. THE WHOLE REASON THE REVOLUTION STARTED.
Maysilee is another form the mockingjay takes. Just like Lucy Gray, just like Rue—a symbol of hope and resistance. A tribute from District 12, so determined not to let the capitol change her true nature, to take her humanity and morals, that it lights the spark to create a fire.
Do you think Haymitch looks at Katniss, and sees Maysilee's pin? Do you think he sees the mockingjay prevail in the face of the reapings, and all he can see is her?
"Sunrise on the reaping" is a symbolic title. This is Suzanne Collins. This is how she writes.
"A ballad of songbirds and snakes" summarizes the themes of that book, the nature of good vs evil. Lucy Gray is the songbird, Snow the snake.
"Sunrise on the reaping" translates to light, hope, new beginnings, in the middle of war and violence.
Collins said this book was going to focus on propaganda, how the media LIES to people, puts them in the dark for easy submission, to not see the truth.
You know what you need to illuminate the darkness of a lie? To see anything at all, including the truth?
Light. You need the sun. A sunrise.
Real or not real? How do you see what's real if you don't have the light to see it by?
Sunrise ON the reaping. Not over. ON.
A sunrise casts light ON the reaping. On the violence of the capitol.
Kindness and hope casts light on the bleak violence and darkness of the capitol. Our humanity is the one true form of resistance. It's the main theme of the series.
This book is going to be about casting light on lies and darkness. On the capitol. The book will be about light prevailing over darkness.
About kindness and hope being the truth that acts as defiance against violent propaganda. Against Snow's beliefs that "there is no hope for humanity, we are all dark and twisted."
This book will be the inverse of Snow and Gaul, of TBOSAS. If Ballad is about how humanity can fall into darkness and evil, Reaping is its compliment, it's about how humanity can be light and good.
All darkness -> light exists -> fire sparks
(Ballad) (Reaping) (Catching Fire)
(@ aurynauthor on Instagram summarized that for me<3)
Maysilee is the sun, the warmth to start a FIRE... Her niece gives Katniss, the girl on fire... Her mockingjay pin.
Maysilee, perhaps, is the true mockingjay.
Katniss compares her death to Rue's, when she watches Haymitch's games. We thought Rue was the mockingjay, but... What if the mockingjay isn't just one person? What if the mockingjay is a symbol, something larger than life, something anyone with the kindness and heart and resistance to stand against evil can be? Like how Katniss and Peeta publicly honor and mourn their fallen tributes when they ought to be entertained alongside the capitol, who is aghast by such displays of emotion.
Maybe that light is some of what the capitol is covering up with propaganda in this book, but it escaped in the form of the pin and Haymitch's survival.
The mockingjay is everyone. Lucy Gray, Rue, Katniss... Maysilee.
Perhaps when Haymitch sees that pin on Katniss, he remembers. When the mockingjay becomes a symbol of resistance, when Maysilee's sunlight sparks the heat for a flame... Perhaps then Haymitch can understand why Maysilee saved him. Why he was the one to survive, and she was the martyr.
How her legacy and her pin lived on even after she faded from history, just like the mockingjay bird itself—small and insignificant, survived against all odds, becoming something stronger.
Maybe, even after her death, even when he forgets the good she taught him and he gets drunk to block out the memories of what happened afterwards, when he has to train up a girl with a mouth of fire and a mockingjay pin, and a boy with a heart of gold and the wits to survive, District 12 tributes, teammates, children he sees someone else in...
Even after the truth of what really happened on the 50th Hunger Games is lost to history and propaganda. Even after all the death and violence.
After all the darkness, the lies Snow preaches, that humanity will always fall into selfishness and survival and cruelty, that nothing and no one can prevail or be different.
Maybe Maysilee and her kindness was the sunrise on his reaping.
#i just think we need to examine SOTR in the context of things she's already written instead of trying too hard to separate it#like even with the twist of TBOSAS being in snow's pov she utilized so many things she already set up in book 1#i really do think there's more to haymitch and maysilee's story than people presume this is where the pin comes from bruh#there's no way suzanne isn't gonna use the history of the pin to add depth & weight like she did with lucy gray maysilee is NOT random#the hunger games#sunrise on the reaping#haymitch abernathy#maysilee donner#haymitch x maysilee#everlark#katniss everdeen#mockingjay#katniss and peeta#district 12#lucy gray baird#tbosas#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#haysilee#catching fire#hunger games analysis#sotr
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Thinking about the Dawnfather. A god of light, a god of harvest, a god of the sun itself. Good but not nice, kind but not soft. Life-giving but also scorching. Protective, warm, and kind, but also stern, harsh, and abrasive. His light can foster growth, can protect and guide, but it can also scorch and burn. The sun is warm and nurturing but don’t stare at it too long, child, it’ll blind you.
Was he always so hard? Did he always hide his face with the harsh light of the sun? Or was there a time when he smiled and laughed, let others see him as he truly was?
Thinking about the Schism. Was the Dawnfather close to the Betrayer Gods before they turned? He must have been, Asmodeus wouldn’t be so hung up on him if he wasn’t. Speaking of Asmodeus, he was once a being of light, like the Dawnfather and the Everlight are now. Were they closer than the others? When the Gods came to Exandria, did they come from the same place or were they scattered, a ragtag group of survivors fleeing from predators seeking to devour them? And if the latter is true, did these three beings of light come from the same place? Siblings, born from the same stuff, forever tied to one another?
If this was the case, then, what was their relationship before the Schism? Did they call each other “Brother” and “Sister”? Did they hold each other when they were scared, dry each other’s tears, laugh and joke and tease and fight and make up because they were siblings and they’d always be together, and they loved each other with every fiber of their being and they only had each other. When Predathos came, when it devoured two of their newfound siblings, did the Dawnfather hold them both and promise them that everything was going to be okay because he was their brother and he was going to protect them, all of them. The gods, mortals, the world itself, they would not be devoured, they would not be destroyed, because he was there and would fight until his very last breath to keep them safe.
Wondering then, was that the moment when Asmodeus truly grew to hate their creations? Seeing his brother and sister and siblings risk their lives just to protect some mewling mortal wretches when they could just leave it all behind and start somewhere new. Was that the moment when he realized that mortals had done something to them, changed them when they were not supposed to change. Why else would they risk being devoured by Predathos, why else would they suffer through war with the Primordials? Why else would they choose them over him!? Was this the moment when he decided to conspire with the Primordials and the other Betrayer Gods? To destroy this world and the mortals on it so they could finally leave. And they would leave, of course, because the Dawnfather was his brother and the Everlight was his sister and the Gods were a family, and at the end of the day, they would always be together, and once the corrupting influence of those mortals was gone, they would surely all see reason.
And when the Dawnfather discovered this betrayal, when all the Prime Deities did, he must have been furious. How could they!? His kin, his brother, who had always been by his side through everything, how could they turn around and destroy their creations, their children. And so he and the other Primes took up arms and fought against their own family to protect this world they had created, and their children who inhabited it. Those battles must have been brutal, bonds of comradery broken, kin clashing against kin, screaming curses as they tore each other apart.
During those final battles of the Schism, when the Dawnfather clashed against Asmodeus, did they scream at each other in rage? A twisted reflection of previous squabbles, different because this time it was real, this time there is no forgiveness, no making up. When the Dawnfather knocked Asmodeus down, crushed his throat under his foot and banished him to the Hells, was he yelling when he disowned him? Or was he quiet when he did it, his voice going into a low growl, deadly calm as he told him that he was not his brother anymore. And moments previously, when the Dawnfather could have easily killed him, did he look into Asmodeus’s eyes and see his brother? Scared and hurt by his hands, hands that once held him and swore to protect him. In that moment, did the Dawnfather realize he couldn’t kill him? Because that was his brother and despite everything, he still loved him, and hurting him brought him more grief and pain than he could ever imagine. So instead, he banished him, locked him and all the other Betrayers away because he and the other Primes couldn’t bring themselves to kill their family, but they also couldn’t let them free.
Was this when the Dawnfather obscured his face? Hardened his heart because otherwise he would break, and he cannot break, because the other gods need him to be strong, because Exandria needs him to be strong. And so he stayed strong, despite the grief, despite the guilt, despite the pain of heartbreak, of hurting the ones he loved to protect the ones he loved. And this hardening must have continued, running himself ragged during Calamity, beating back Tharizdun, protecting Ioun after she almost died, sheltering the Everlight after Asmodeus once again betrayed her, stabbed her in the back and left her broken and weak when all she wanted was to do was get her brother back, to save him from his own wrath. Failure after failure after failure to protect those he cared about, to protect his siblings and mortals and Exandria itself. The guilt of his failures must be overwhelming, and these are his failures: Predathos devoured his siblings under his watch, his siblings betrayed them under his watch, Calamity ravaged Exandria under his watch, and even now, the threat of Predathos has once again returned under his watch.
No wonder he is so harsh now, so controlling now: because every time he has failed in his vigilance the world has suffered for it. He can’t fail again; he can’t lose any more siblings. And so, he continues hardening his heart, continues fighting, because the sun must always rise again in the morning, no matter what.
#did i make my first post a 1000+ word essay about the dawnfather? yes#did i write this instead of doing my work? also yes#would i do it again? absolutely#i have so many thoughts about the gods of exandria#i want to shake them in a jar and examine them under a microscope#it is my foremost belief that pelor has eldest daughter syndrome#like surface pressure from encanto is literally the perfect pelor song tell me im wrong#he is so stressed. all the time#like pelor IS a dick. absolutely#he has definitely done some fucked up shit#but he's not malicious or evil. hes doing what he thinks will protect everyone#he is in desperate need of a nap. a hug. and a therapist#this definitely delves into headcanon territory but i dont care#critical role#cr spoilers#cr meta#cr headcanons#dawnfather#everlight#cr asmodeus#pelor the dawnfather#cr sarenrae#cr gods#shelley's overdramatic character analysis
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I know I've talked about how Chujin wasn't providing around the house after getting fired from the Steamworks so Ceroba had to pick up the responsibility in his stead and how much Chujin sucks for that but also.. Ceroba does have a responsibility to talk about these sorts of things with Chujin. They're supposed to be equals in the relationship. I'm certain that if she flat out told him "Hey, money is tight around the house and the job I'm working makes me miserable, I need you to find a job and help with things too because I can't be the only one financially contributing and sacrificing myself like this," Chujin would've done that in a heartbeat. He loves Ceroba, he wouldn't want her to suffer like that. His first instinct upon getting fired should've been to find another job and discuss what happened and what happens next with his wife instead of lying and declaring himself retired and getting into volunteer work, but I digress.
The problem is that Ceroba enables a lot of Chujin's habits. She sees him as this perfect figure, so much so that she sides with Chujin even when he's clearly in the wrong/when it's unreasonable. (For example: Messing up building a robot 8 times and lighting the Prince's grave on fire on the final attempt should've at least earned a "Well, even though he finally managed to make Axis work now, I can see why he got fired. I wish he talked about this with me though" instead of a "Screw the Royals, Chujin was right!") On top of that, Chujin's volunteer work came from a place of altruism: he wanted to make the world a better place from the bottom of his heart. So of course she'd be fine with having to take on extra work that made her miserable if Chujin can spread his dream through the Underground.
That's also why she and Chujin would get super-mega-turbo-divorced the split second they encountered a period in their relationship where there was no room for romantic love in it. Because the second the rose-tinted glasses slipped and her Chujin-shaped blind spot stopped being so Chujin-shaped would be the second that she realizes that their relationship isn't as good as she thinks it is. And then it would blow up.
#uty analysis#Ceroba said that she was aware that Chujin kept a lot of secrets. she just didn't care#which okay fine to keep some secrets if the secret doesn't affect the family. but big things that involve the family#like ''I'm injecting myself with an experimental serum'' and ''i for fired from my well paying job'' need to be talked about bc that#affects everybody.#she REALLY just let him do whatever he wanted entirely uncontested though and never thought to examine his actions#it's just. wow. anybody who thinks that their relationship was healthy just because they weren't screaming and yelling at each other#needs to reexamine the relationship. they are not a good match for each other.
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Okay I promise I will try to shut up about this specific moment in AA soon but. The dive into the past in Turnabout Succession with the whole Magnifi Gramarye case and its aftermath is already heartbreaking on its own but what I think is the most heartbreaking thing about it is how the gameplay itself carries out. I mean they could've let the player watch the case unfold as usual and then have Phoenix simply yell "HOLD IT!!" and present the single piece of evidence that got him disbarred completely on his own (no less tragic, but at least it's like hearing someone recount a memory) but they actually gave the player the choice. Or the illusion of it
A screen pops up with two single options, "Show evidence" and "No need", and of course you hesitate to click on either because this happens in the last few stretches of the game and you already know what consequences this will have. It will be bad. You try to change the outcome, click "No need". After some quick dialogue, it goes back to that screen. You click it again. It circles back to those two options. And again. And again. And then you realize you never really had a choice after all and you click "Show evidence" and then of course it ends badly. Which you knew already, but couldn't prevent
With this game dynamic you're not just witnessing this story—you become part of that case. You're forced to give the wrong advice even if you're aware it's wrong, and you're forced to knowingly doom Phoenix Wright with your own two hands
#saw a tiktok of a slideshow that started with that one image of the trolley problem#except it was edited to only have one track#and then there were screenshots of that case#i had to put my phone down and think about it for a little bit#ace attorney is about cross-examining parrots and also about heartwrenching stories of people getting their lives ruined. what about it#i wonder how fucked up it would be if this case was at the beginning instead#like. you either choose to show the evidence because it's an obvious win. and you're left with the aftermath#or you're suspicious and click 'no need' only to end back to that screen again and again until you comply#all while being aware that something is very very wrong#finding out about what happened at the very end is much more interesting#narratively it's probs the best choice#but it would put you basically in phoenix's shoes wouldn't it. same emotions same thoughts#'oh a little girl gave me this evidence. it must be trustworthy'#anyway i'm gonna cry#not only bc of that but also because of the 2d art. i love the new cases but the 3d creeps me out a bit sometimes#the style in apollo justice was PEAK#ace attorney#phoenix wright#apollo justice#lonely thoughts
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ALSO I DONT THINK ANYONE ELSE HAS NOTICED THIS YET but someone else that I didn’t pick up on before that I find really interesting, is when miles is doing his whole dumb disruptors speech, describing everyone else and how he helped them — he lays the praise on heavy for Birdie and Duke (both of which are washed up idiots who will cling on to any good press they can get), but he openly demeans the two people with intellect and talent, Claire and Lionel.
for Birdie it’s “you’re sitting next to Birdie Jay, fashion icon, youngest editor, top of the world!” And when she brings up her bad decisions he doubles down, makes it positive- “then she comes out with these amazing new sweatpants, just as the pandemic hits!”
he makes it seem like she’s a genius, and you can see her getting buttered up as he’s saying all this, letting herself believe it.
same with Duke! Duke gets: “people just saw his muscle, but little did they know he’d be a huge influencer, that he’d be the first person to hit a million on twitch?” He gives Duke this impression that he’s some kind of talent, someone who is more than he seems, that he’s got brains and brawns. Just like Birdie, Duke gets all proud and lets himself believe it.
but then, Claire and Lionel,
Claire gets: “soccer mom in beige”
And Lionel gets: “10 years licking on the taint of academia”
It’s rude, it’s passive aggressive. He demeans them, he makes it seem like somethings wrong with them, or that the things they were doing before him were useless, and you can see both their faces fall when he says this. He also spends so little time on their actual accomplishments, especially compared to the amount of love he showed to Birdie and Duke.
it’s just interesting how he manipulates them subtly, how he targets the actually talented people who don’t really need him, and makes them feel stupid and less than…and on the flip side, how he targets the washed up people and makes them feel like they are these incredible talents. Because when he does this, it makes it so that Lionel and Claire will second guess themselves at every turn, and never notice how nothing he says makes sense — and it makes it so Birdie and Duke will think every idea he gives them is their own.
#glass onion#knives out#The shitheads are absolutely horrifically selfish but I think it’s also really important to examine that their loyalty to miles#Is not just out of their own self interest#But also out of the false narrative he’s constructed#That tells them#that they need him#And for Claire and Lionel#That they’d be nothing without him
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#honestly people…#if you think Louis is straight#or even bisexual#I’m going to need you to get your head examined#I don’t know what it is about newer fans#but the fact that you’re buying this nonsense#is so exhausting
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so so interesting which kh characters believe in fate and which don’t. so interesting that nearly all of khux is person after person saying ‘ok but there’s gotta be a way out of fate right like There’s a way out?’ and there is not even a little bit. so interesting that xehanort believes so much in fate above all else that he’ll travel back in time to be the catalyst for the worst parts of his own life. so so interesting kairi in melmem telling xehanort that he’s the one that ruined her fate. Man.
#pers#kh#melody of memory#dark road#i think of that line in melmem. ALL THE TIME. ALWAYS. it is SUCH an interesting moment of kairi characterization#i need to rewatch parts of khux to remember more clearly their take on fate but god that games thematics rock so hard#theres some connection here in general esp knowing the book is coming back in mainline games#but i can’t make it exactly. i just think when there are kairi xehanort parallels we simply must examine them.
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*takes you by the hand as gently as I can*
You can dislike Maya without turning her into a one dimensional villain that serves no purpose to the story.
You can dislike Maya without disparaging the story and message the show is trying to convey.
You can hate Maya without moralizing your hatred. You can just hate her. It’s okay.
#i hear the sunspot#hidamari ga kikoeru#im just so tired of people shitting all over maya because she’s not perfect#she is complex and nuanced and maybe if given more than. oh i don’t know. one episode? we will see the complexity and nuance that is there#we had 7 episodes to learn about how kohei handles losing his hearing and he was offered grace#and i need you all to understand that i also don’t fucking like maya#she is an unlikable character#but thats kind of the point#but everyone’s reaction to her just proves her incorrect point about how people treat others with disabilities#yall can just say she’s unlikable without saying she’s pointless and why is she even friends with kohei anyway#yall can just say she’s unlikable without questioning the entire show#i’m gonna need everyone to take a minute and just think. think about how young she is. think about what she is actively losing#think about WHY she is behaving this way before jumping down her throat because she isn’t the perfect disabled person#and genuinely i want you to sit with my next question for a minute. just sit with it. i don’t need to know your answer#whether its yes or no that is between you and yourself#but i need you guys to think#would you hate maya this much if her gender was swapped?#would you have the same issues with how she’s acting if she were a boy instead of a girl?#again i don’t need to know your answer#but if you think your answer might be no…i want you to examine that#anyway that’s all. be careful how you approach me in talking about this btw. cause i have had it with the treatment of maya#i don’t want to defend characters i don’t like but some of the takes i’ve seen are just plain wild y’all
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#i went and got Examined and Cleaned at dentist and of course paid with my own money#which i save for these exact reasons! health stuff#and i feel much better after going... like in general#i needed a cleaning its been a while since my last one#anyway i get home and both my parents are acting like it was all a waste of time and money#which makes sense bc like. this is only my second time ever going to a dentist. ykwim#i never went to doctors growing up because Waste Of Money We Dont Have#so obvs they think that way#but it Affects Me. ykwim. like oh i really am going to have insane obsessive massive self doubt over every decision i make until i die...ok#like maybe i shouldtve gone maybe it wldve gone away by itself i dont knowwwww#joining the war on All The Men In My Family Dying Bc They Dont Seek Medical Care on the side of the Men#talkys
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“og 4 aliens very particular vibe in being ‘three distinct flavours of socially awkward loner and also valentino rossi’” LMAO I WAS JUST THINKING THIS!!!!!! That he has the funniest possible 3 foils in that era bc like…those three guys could not be less his vibe ~personality wise if they tried. And actually tbf I do think they WERE trying a lot of the time. Feeling very curious if you think there’s anything to the idea of how Marc was the first alien-era rival he had who was more on his level all around? Like early days Marc was kind of just 😀😀😀 all the time but I do think he can be v charming and is clearly extroverted as hell (tho like…notably also a loner but like…not by choice??). Like idk where im going w this but the contrast is interesting to me. IDK
to some extent! I'm not sure I'd necessarily call marc an extrovert, you can be charismatic and cheerful without being an extrovert - but also this is splitting hairs. the og four aliens are one guy who's on the 'roughly as extroverted as you can possibly get as a professional athlete' end of the spectrum and three guys who are on the 'roughly as introverted as you can possibly get as a professional athlete' end. now, tbh, I don't think valentino massively minded this. he's extroverted but crucially he's also got enough charm going for him that he could get his rivals to chat with him if he was so inclined. he had an increasingly friendly relationship with dani, there's real genuine warmth in how both of them talk about each other - ultimately dani might have been quite sullen and withdrawn in general, especially in his early years, but he got on well with valentino. casey and valentino had perfectly decent interpersonal chemistry, they got on well, and tbh they were still warm with each in-person long past the point where that relationship had rhetorically soured. with jorge... I mean, okay, no chemistry there, but that was also very much valentino's choice. I do not fundamentally doubt valentino's ability to charm twenty year old jorge lorenzo. I think just because they were DIFFERENT characters, that doesn't necessarily mean they weren't valentino's *type* personality-wise, like he does seem to be happy enough to be the chatty one who draws them out of their shells in that scenario. unless competitive necessity requires otherwise!! but as marc discovered, somewhat higher levels of extroversion does not protect you if that's the case
I will say I know you do put alien-era as a caveat, but it is still important to point out that marc is very much not the first valentino rival who doesn't fall in the introverted loner camp. valentino had a rival who matched his vibe!! who he had a real proper off-track friendship with, who he went on holidays with, who he had a warm relationship with for substantially longer than the marc/valentino honeymoon lasted. I think you can see the early marc era as a bit of a return to the friendlier vibes of the early noughties, but crucially it is a return. the early noughties was the last gasp before the sport came to be completely dominated by a bunch of young prodigies who had been moulded into perfect athletes and had less chance to grow into people outside of the sport - valentino is already part of that camp in everything but temperament, cf the contrast with biaggi. in the early noughties, he was surrounded by a bunch of older riders who varied dramatically in disposition... biaggi was the guy everyone had issues with, capirossi was always fond of valentino, kr jr he got on well with, he played a mentoring role for in hayden's rookie season... and of course, most importantly, the friendship with sete - now there's an obscenely friendly rivalry right until the very moment when it isn't. 2013-14 is a bit of a return to that more congenial climate, but at the end of the day that lot were still less likely to socialise than riders were back in the day. they just didn't have the time lol
so yeah, I mean. valentino clearly did take to marc on a personal level, and marc is definitely closer to valentino on the introversion/extroversion spectrum than the three other aliens are. though that is also... not difficult. there is something quite funny about how 2006-07 went from valentino's pov. the engine regs changed, valentino literally blinked and suddenly all his opps were toddlers. went from goofing off with capirossi on the sepang 2006 podium to running a daycare centre overnight. and marc is part of that! it's also a massive change in that suddenly, valentino was surrounded by rivals who had been influenced by watching him ride as they grew up and were all really, really, really weird about him. marc with his little bike collection, jorge with his dabbling in pseudoscientific schools of psychology, casey and his championship-winning shirt, dani... well, tbf, I do actually think dani was pretty normal about valentino - probably because he'd known him the longest. had gotten drunk with valentino in the days when the bloke was just an idol and not a god. which is an underrated reason why the dani/valentino relationship never got so weird imo, one that goes beyond competitive calculus - dani was the most capable of interacting with valentino as just another guy. with all three of marc/jorge/casey, that idolisation dynamic does contribute significantly to the interpersonal turmoil
but that's a topic for another day! in conclusion, marc defo the dispositionally cheeriest foil of the alien lot, albeit somewhat by default, and WAS part of the reason why motogp got a bit of a mood lift in that 2013-14 period after what had just been a dire few years vibes-wise. mediocre racing, devastation caused by the financial crisis, tragedy... motogp was feeling quite lifeless in 2011-12 in particular, and those years do have a bit of a drab energy to them. in that sense, what followed was a bit of a reversion to the mean until the vibes completely went off the cliff. have they ever recovered? who can say
#20 yr old jorge lorenzo prob could've been charmed with two compliments and a hug like fundamentally it's not that hard. send me in chief#I think I'm slightly off the extrovert marc train because me and bikefuckersoftheworldunite (well mainly not me)#have recently stumbled across a bunch of old pressers primarily from 2004#and. brother. the vibes were very different back then#i do fairly regularly watch thursday pressers during the year and let's just say it's a contrast from watching pecco marc and jorge -#- discover new exciting ways of examining dust particles three metres to the left of each others' heads#and marc's not just like that with his actual rivals!! he supposedly 'likes' 'bastianini' and that's not exactly flowing chitchat is it#this wasn't just a valentino thing either. guys back then just talked more idk what to tell u#casey would repeatedly stab me for this and i am SORRY king i am a gutter-born philistine with poor morals and wretched taste#but this is also why you desperately needed valentino in the alien era. like you need somebody to get these guys talking#but crucially i think it's a great contrast!! i think it's sweet when dani and casey discover speech and beam at valentino!!#i also don't think valentino massively minded friendly!casey like again the basic chemistry really wasn't ever the issue#//#brr brr#alien tag#batsplat responds#vale said in mid 2008 that his relationship with his rivals (read: dani/casey) was more 'normal' than in the past which is incredible stuff#given the generational acts of psychological and also literal terrorism he was about to commit#but yeah i mean aside from some barbs in the media that three-way dynamic was pretty all right. they did have fun together#honestly even those pressers probably had substantially better vibes than the stuff today. where ARE the messy extroverts#farewell aleix </3 last of a bygone era
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Even if their relationship was entirely platonic there is still no heterosexual explanation for Pallas and Athena imo. What I mean by that is their whole friendship started because of their defiance of gender rolls through mutual love of battles and sports, and i know it's a stretch but... that is definitely a friendship built on a shared experience of queerness and you can pry that headcanon out of my cold dead hands!
#I swear i can elaborate further on this but i don't have the words right now#specifically because people who are smarter than me have examined Athenas defiance of gender rolls and its more interesting than you think#also as a writer it just gives me a lot to explore by interpreting it that way#and i just like it! do i need to justify that further!#athena#pallas#pallas daughter of triton#greek mythology#tagamemnon
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