#i think i need to examine this
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Thing today will probably be very late.
....
Or pulling something unfinished from the archives to finish.
....
Or pulling something old and unposted from the archives.
We'll see.
#musings#december banditnanza 2024#last year i was better about this#i was going to sleep earlier and waking up earlier to make sure something got posted#this year...i'm not doing that#which means that on days when i plan to get out and do stuff - like today - posts go up later#so#rethinking how i want to do this next year#IF i want to do this next year#last year i was doing this as a morale boost#this year that's why things in november#but at some point i wonder if i'm really doing this to morale boost#or if i've switched into 'i said i would do a daily thing and i'm gonna do it'#or 'how long can i keep this up'#or as a personal challenge#which was not the original point of the stuff#like - compare with someone else who has been intentionally doing this as a gift to the community#am i still doing this as a gift to y'all?#or is it just about me?#is that what the monday updates have shifted into over the year?#i...hm#why i do the thing matters#because it changes how i approach the thing#i think i need to examine this
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they are putting yaoi in the city art museum and censoring nsfw content with heat-responsive material so you have to put your hands on it to see dick
#just thinking thoughts...#I'm not sure I fully agree with whether it needs to be censored at all#but I do really like how they've resolved the situation#look at yaoi with a sense of purpose etc. get personal with it. if you choose not to then why not#places I'd love to take hypercapitalist taiwanese brazilian dude so he can examine his discomfort with yaoi lmaooo#'bro you are drawing so much gay shit... your plausible deniability is wearing thin... are you sure you're not a fudanshi'#<- the correct gendering on this still sends me every time
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thinking about not only the specific people lucanis pulls in to represent the 'locks' in his psyche, but the storytelling that happens in the structure/order of them. the underlying ideas are presented something like:
the lucanis who went into the ossuary never came back out again; he died down there (the boy caterina raised is gone forever) -> you're putting yourself in danger doing this (by being close to me), you should leave because I can't bear it if you get hurt because of me -> it doesn't matter even if we do try this, it won't work anyway (again because of me) ('you know what he's like, you can open the door but he won't walk through it' :'( oofie doofie) -> what if the real secret is that there was never anything but the monster in here from the beginning. you should leave, there was never anything here worth saving in the first place. (implicitly: what if I deserved what happened, all along.)
it runs pretty cleanly from outward-oriented attachment anxiety ('caterina won't even want me back like this, she won't recognize me (the same way I no longer recognize myself)) and gradually deeper inwards until we reach self-image and self worth. or you know, the harrowing basic lack of it lol.
"careful -- they'll know we're not right," spite says in one of their first scenes... but clearly, some very deep part of lucanis has feared or suspected for much longer than that that there's something inherently not right at the core of him, way before any demon entered the picture. and the voice he gives those lines to is the person who should know him better than anyone in the world, who he has loved more than anyone in the world -- and who deliberately chose to hurt him so horrifically anyway. 'It's better if I'm just a monster and deserved what happened than it is to allow for the idea that the brother I love doesn't really exist and maybe never did'. it's better if he's fundamentally flawed in some way that needed fixing to help him survive, and that's why caterina chose to hurt him again and again -- out of love. (this one I think he might have a very sad wakeup call on one day if he ever ends up with the responsibility and care of a child of his own in some way and realizes just how alien the idea of ever intentionally hurting them for any reason is to him. oh buddy. also interesting that he keeps caterina as the outermost lock -- there IS a distance he keeps there that he hasn't with illario. he doesn't resent her 'anymore' he says, but he also keeps her carefully further away from his deepest self.)
as far as I could tell the only note in the mind prison that's fully hidden and needs to be uncovered is the sad painful helpless stupid little truth that even after all this, even knowing what happened... he still loves his brother. is there anything illario could ever do that would make lucanis completely stop loving him, do you think? sometimes the trouble with unconditional love is that it is, well. unconditional, even when some terms and conditions probably would have been in order haha.
that's the pattern you see there again and again; he would rather destroy and abandon and imprison himself at every turn than let go of love, even when it's just scraps, even when there's only ever enough of it to hurt him. it's only when rook shows up and as it were takes his hand and walks along with him that he can entertain the idea of changing the story of what walking out the door might mean in the end.
#tl;dr the demon is a metaphor about dissociation and trauma and it's doing its job thematically fucking pitch perfectly that way the end#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#dragon age meta#this mission is like ds9 the wire in terms of episodes you really can examine from a thousand different angles#and find something new and soulcrushingly sad every time. exactly my kind of episode in other words#whenever people say there's nothing to him but coffee and spite jokes some small part of me goes 'oh I'm so incredibly sorry!#it must be really hard and so impractical to go through life without being able to read :'( get better soon'#is that very nice of me. perhaps not. is the writing here *perfect*? of course not. but some people are also dedicated to being#wilfully blind (presumably b/c they would have preferred to see something else?? idk man)#lucanis' reaction to taash going 'I'm sorry I'm such a bad crow :'('... he could NEVER do what caterina did with him no matter what#you just can't use him like that. he needs the clean family/enemy/contract distinction or you just break him!!!#caterina literally what are you thinking. every day I ask myself this. (probably 'the only other option that keeps the seat in the family#is illario. so that's right out of course' lmao)#god forbid it happen anytime soon if it should happen b/c there's Stuff that needs working through first lol but he'd be such a soft dad
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I know that in the comics Matt travels the world (mostly as Daredevil) and even lives in San Francisco twice, but Netflix/MCU Matt has the vibe of a guy who has never left New York City except for maybe like a high school class trip to DC. Like this is a man who went to Jersey once six years ago for Foggy’s sister’s wedding and has never crossed the state line ever again. Him and Foggy house-sat for a law school professor on Long Island and Matt seriously considered making up some excuse to leave Foggy alone and head back home early. New Rochelle is “upstate” as far as he’s concerned. I know this in my heart.
#Matt Murdock#daredevil#do not tell me what happens in the rest of the MCU besides the originally Netflix series bc I assure you I don’t care#Matt has barely ever left New York he told me himself#this isn’t even a like ‘I’m hell’s kitchen’s protector the city needs me thing’#it’s a ‘why would I go anywhere else everything I need is right here’ thing#it’s a ‘New York is the only place in the world obviously’ New Yorker thing. why would anyone ever go anywhere else.#I also do not think Foggy us a driver’s license or if he does it’s bc he technically failed the test for taking a left on red or something#but then like charmed his way into getting a pass or the examiner was a friend of the family or something lol#OR Marci taught him how to drive bc she was like ‘wtf you’re a grown man you should know how to drive a car’#and Foggy’s initial response was ‘why would I need to drive a car me and Matt take the train everywhere’ (she did not mention Matt)
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In the vein of calling out our favs I'll tell you what Max did:
Max was racing in an iRacing event yesterday
Also racing in the same event is Jaden Munoz who is a Williams driver for their iRacing academy. Jaden is 19 years old iirc
Jaden was a Max fan and there are multiple tweets of him from 2021-2022 praising Max
Max and Jaden started close to eachother at the beginning of the race and were battling for the lead. Max was ahead. Max defended very aggressively, honestly too aggressively, and made two left-right manoeuvres to hold the lead. The contact would not have been so bad but Max was swerving and he dropped right to the back of the grid the moment their cars touched while Jaden kept his position
At this point Jaden says: "Look how dumb he is. He doesn't change, ever. He's so dumb" about Max. This is not a random insult, contrary to the way it was framed. Max had crashed Jaden out 2 weeks ago in the first lap of the 2024-25 GTP IMSA Global Esports Championship season finale. I think it's very important to point out that Jaden was leading the GTP IMSA championship and that was the last race of the season. He would have won it if Max hadn't crashed him out. Max was completely at fault and received a drive-through penalty for that collision
Back to our race from yesterday, Jaden drives a great race and keeps 2nd position
Towards the end of the race Jaden encounters Max again to lap him. The moment he sees that Max is the next car to lap he says "Oh no. Oh no, no, no." Implying that he thinks Max is about to crash him out as retaliation. And that's exactly what Max does: he purposefully crashes out Jaden.
Now we get to the only part of the story that anyone seems to care about which is Jaden's reaction when Max crashes him out which was: "Yeah, I knew it, I knew it. This is why you were gifted everything in your life, Max. You're a spoilt brat. You'd be nothing without your father. You'd be nothing. You'd be a nobody."
That's the totality of what happened. Since then Jaden has been getting a lot of hate on all his social media for saying Max is a spoilt brat who would be nothing without Jos. Honesty had it been anyone else besides a 19 year old Mexican-American kid I wouldn't have written this up. But as a Mexican-American experiencing Trump's Amerikkka I think the reaction towards Jaden is fucked up and unwarranted. He's a teenager with working class parents, gaming is literally his career. He was going to be champion two weeks ago and Max crashed him out, there was clearly residual resentment from that. The prize money for iRacing is probably what Max spends on a dessert in Monaco but again it's Jaden's career, it's his whole job, it's how he makes money. He anticipated Max would crash him out and then Max proved him right. I don't think it's the crime it's been made out to be for a hispanic 19 year old to bitterly point out that Jos was a millionaire who helped Max progress in his career. Again Max is a fav and maybe I'd feel a different way about this if the political climate was different but it just made me very sad and very bitter
thank you sm for writing all of this. Def call out your favs and you're definitely valid in how you feel
#im genuinely really sorry#even w adolf trumps america you dont need qualify how you feel. i think its totally valid#i think its good to have the odd sobering reminder that these men are rich assholes.#we cant change that. we can change the construction through which we examine their shitty behaviour#i hope jaden has a solid network of support around him and that hes staying off social media#sending you love too anon 🫂#f1
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me just a few months ago "i can't be aplatonic bc i Do have friends and like having friends" about to be hit over the head by friendship test with “IT'S ALSO A SPECTRUM IDIOT”
#words from the monarch#gotta just re examine your feelings every now and again#im still all the things I’ve been since i was like 13? 14? aro ace nonbinary etc. just redefining what i am within those labels#so picking up aplatonic is like. figuring something New out entirely#i like my friends they’re Important to me. but if i never made them then I don’t think I’d feel worse off#I’ve got two and I don’t think I want or need more#i like interacting with people but im not sure I’d call them friends exactly. i kinda reserve that label for poeple i know irl#I’ve never felt inclined to Seek friendships#i made friends bc it kinda just Happened and not because i was searching out friendships. yknow. but im glad it happened :]
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sometimes there are situations where it is equally strange to blame a character for something OR to act like they were just a helpless victim. my kingdom for a nuanced take.
#i don’t actually need to give my kingdom up to anyone bc i already HAVE the nuanced take myself#but i’m just surprised i don’t see more people already thinking like that#like. not to be mean but acting like this is something that simply happened *TO* the character is buying into his propaganda#like. i don’t BLAME him for what ultimately happened but he made the conscious choice to be in a potentially dangerous situation#he had agency going into that and the other person did not#and not acknowledging that is VERY strange to me#and BLAMING the other character is even stranger#like. hot take but the other character has NOTHING to apologize for at all#and that IS a nuanced take - i’ve thought long and hard about it and i can’t comprehend blaming him for any of it#though - as i said - i don’t BLAME the original guy either… i just think the question of agency is worth examining#but passing judgement on either of them is super weird to me considering the circumstances#yet people seem to love doing it… STRANGE!
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More cute drawings of them hehe
#pangkey#lukeytv#pangi#the realm smp#trsmp#suzies art :]#i think theyre silly#doodle this while the students did their finals#so if anyone wonders what their examiner do its drawing gay ships#actually im lying i did this before their exams started#during their exams i mapped out how under clothing would be worn under their armour#btw their exams were very hands on and they literally cant be cheated in even if they tried#as in they were finishing up their projects and just needed help if one of their sewing machines was having troubke
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"Perez is one of those drivers who never quite got a good shot in F1"
The literal car he drove in 2022 and 23:
He drove a car realms above what 99% of drivers ever get to drive in their entire careers, and you're seriously trying to tell me he "never quite got a good shot in F1". Be so fucking for real.
#I'M SORRY#BUT WHAT THE FUCK#READING THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE I NEED A LOBOTOMY#genuine slap in the face#like need to punch a wall need to avenge daniel need every fucking journalist in that paddock to have their heads examined#and whether you think he's the right pick for cadillac or not is irrelevant here#the idea that he never got a good shot is absolutely absurd on every level full stop end of story goodbye
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What your opinion on all this talk of leaving the hp/marauder fandom because it directly/indirectly supports JKR? Do you have any desire to leave?
Well my opinion is that I can understand it completely if people choose to do so, but personally I have no desire to leave nor intention of leaving. I understand that it might bother individual people but I'm not asking anyone to look at this blog; in fact the reason I started to use this sideblog is so I could keep everything HP-related away from people who choose not to see it. While I think HP's cultural relevance today is such that it's impossible to avoid entirely, I do empathise with people who'd rather not see it. If someone wished to block me for continuing to blog about HP, I think that might be the healthiest option for everyone involved.
Anyway, I understand why this is happening and I think it's important to discuss. But that's the point. It's important to discuss, not stick our fingers in our ears.
I think this is a great post about it! Here are my own (long-winded) thoughts:
Personally I fundamentally disagree with the idea that we should stop reading and discussing works written by bad people. I don't believe that's a constructive or healthy way to engage with literature. If nobody's left to discuss something as culturally relevant as HP (or LotR, or whatever) critically, then what is the point of literature in the first place? Is it pure entertainment and therefore easily discarded? Ftr I'm also firmly against banning (even socially 'banning') literature of ANY sort, for ANY reason. "You shouldn't read X because it's morally wrong" is to me ultimately a conservative belief.
Anyway: I find it pretty obvious that JKR said 'if you like my books you agree with me' PURPOSEFULLY to cause this kind of a reaction, because she knew it would cause her detractors to become hyperfocused on pointing fingers at each other and thought policing each other over a kids book rather than focusing on what's actually going on. I don't think we should be playing into it, and I don't think even JKR believes it herself-- I think it was deliberate. And tbh from what I can see it has had the exact effect she intended.
The other thing I'll say is that (and tbf I can't say for sure) but I suspect that the online HP fandom might be exaggerating its own importance a little bit. Tbh I think that even if the online (and more liberal) fandom disappeared overnight there would still be tens of thousands of kids (the target audience, after all) discovering and reading Harry Potter for themselves across the globe. Scores of parents and aunts and grandparents who know nothing about JKR buying those books for the kids in their family. And that's not counting the people who actually do agree with JKR. Yes fandom disappearing might have some small impact, but tbh I think it would be all but insignificant. It would be much more, like infinitely more, materially significant for people in fandom to donate time and/or money to trans organisations in their own countries. ((I also think what would be somewhat helpful is for fandom to take responsibility in encouraging people not to watch the HBO series. The success of the series is imo more contingent on online opinion than the books.))
There are also millions of people still using twitter, instagram, and amazon, despite the very real material damage caused by Musk, Zuckerberg, and Bezos, and that's a MUCH more direct cause-and-effect than simply talking about Harry Potter because using those platforms LITERALLY lines the pockets of those individuals. I will say that if you're on twitter telling people they should stop talking about Harry Potter I simply will not take you seriously loll 😂
I guess there is probably some amount of people who discovered HP through, idk, Marauders tiktok and decided to read the series, but how significant is this number? It's incredibly difficult to grow up in most countries around the world and not come across Harry Potter in some way. For good or ill I do think HP is en route to becoming a children's classic. If tumblr goes down and my blog and all the blogs I interact with on here disappear, I don't think this would change.
On the other hand, simply for posterity I do think there's some value in continuing to discuss it-- all of it, including the reality of who the author is, the cultural relevance of HP, the text itself and what this all means given its significance in our culture. And it's important to discuss it critically, honestly, and constructively. It's remarkably easy with HP to avoid giving money to the author, which is something I believe to be worthwhile, so tbh I can't bring myself to agree with 'it would be better if we stopped talking about it' in a general sense. Personally I don't think the only people left discussing it should be right wing maniacs lol-- again, for posterity if nothing else.
Also I think there's a slightly worrying tendency on the liberal 'left' (which is typically the majority in most fandom spaces) to shut down conversation and discussion in general, particularly if those conversations are uncomfortable. You see thought-terminating clichés frequently deployed in such spaces and I think it's just not helpful. Seeing posts from supposed leftists trying to convince people that it's morally wrong to even THINK about Harry Potter is pretty wild to me, tbh. I think that for a while now there's been much more of a focus among the left on idealism over materialism, to the point where material reality is totally ignored in favour of, essentially, trying to get everyone to think the correct thoughts. To me this just isn't a productive or intellectually responsible approach.
What is the material benefit of all of us simply shutting up about Harry Potter forever? How does this actually help anyone beyond yourself and your own conscience? To me it seems like ultimately a performative and virtue signalling action that is pretty meaningless when you're not doing anything else, and is particularly meaningless when you're not applying this to literally anything else in your life. Fandom isn't activism, but by extension NOT-fandom also isn't activism haha. Personally I dislike Marvel films and think they're barely-disguised propaganda for the American military-industrial complex, but I don't think it's evil for people to write their Bucky/Steve fanfiction or whatever lmao. And I certainly don't think it's wrong to discuss Marvel films, the opposite in fact, I think they should be critically discussed.
So, basically, I think it's perfectly understandable that people would want to leave the fandom. But ultimately I think that's an action you're taking for yourself, and I don't think there's much to be gained from refusing to discuss things deemed 'morally wrong.' I think to a certain extent it's natural and probably healthy to feel some guilt about it all, but also perhaps it's worth questioning why we feel such extreme guilt about this, which is really just people talking to each other about books, and not about the 486948736 other much more unambiguously destructive things we do with our time and money on a daily basis.
As long as we're willing to discuss this topic honestly and constructively, to be conscious and empathetic towards others, and to refrain from spending any money on HP-related products, I don't think it's wrong to remain in the fandom tbh. To deny HP's impact on today's literary landscape would be, imo, dishonest, so therefore somebody has to discuss it. And I'd much rather there be a variety of opinions within that discussion.
#tbh there is 0 strategy on the left and it's being completely decimated#by the much more organised much more deliberate right#online leftist spaces seem to me to have the strategy of:#'i will convince everyone that this is a good thought and this is a bad thought through simply repeating it in all caps.'#'and fighting anyone who disagrees with me slightly on the pettiest issues of all time'#I think the left needs to SERIOUSLY examine why so many people are being driven towards the right. on this issue and others.#and as far as i can see it refuses to do so.#for instance i think it'd be interesting to try and chart jkr's online radicalisation. like HOW it happened. and how to avoid it in future#but if it's viewed as wrong to simply engage with her beliefs and work even critically. then that will never happen.#but anyway i'm not going to do that myself lol i simply think it would be interesting and worthwhile if someone did.#replies
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man whatever it just kinda frustrates me that people will say "well it makes sense that the three would be upset with squirrelflight and leafpool BUT" but then proceed to explain that they shouldnt be upset with them. the problem is that when you find out a parent has been lying to you, you're not going to react reasonably. there's shit that doesnt seem like a big deal that completely ruptures a parental relationship because it feels like a betrayal. these are people who you are supposed to be able to have implicit trust in.
so I DONT KNOW it's just frustrating to me. and i'm not saying this in a "why is it always the DADS that are the bad parents" but rather that people are willing to explore complex relationships with a father figure but totally shut down the idea that a character could have a complex relationship with their mother. because motherhood does not automatically make someone flawless or even a good person. but at the same time, being a young mother and making a lot of mistakes and even having a fraught relationship with a child doesn't necessarily mean theyre a completely bad person.
#LIKE I SAID. I NEED MORE PPL WHO HAVE MOMMY ISSUES ON THE CASE I CANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE#and btw . it is perfectly worth examining why motherhood is heralded as a sign of being a good person 9 times out of 10 in canon.#and why for most characters motherhood suddenly subsumes the rest of their personality#and that motherhood is assumed to be the natural progression of a female character's life. these are in fact misogynistic trends#and while people use these misogynistic trends as an excuse to then also be misogynistic#i dont think the reaction should be to then. also consider motherhood a sign of whether or not a character is a good person#and to completely base their morality on whether or not they accomplished motherhood alright#and i love exploring the way motherhood changes the way a character interacts with the world#both in how their mother treated them and then how they treat their own child as a mother#so its extremely frustrating that people insist on flattening the experience !!!!!!
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hickey is a really good example of a character who's internal conflict is represented externally by his relationships with other characters. his feelings towards the british empire/the bureaucratic command of the mission is split between his respect for crozier and his reverence tuunbaq. and it gets so religious and existential it's so good.
to hickey, crozier represents the british empire, and tuunbaq represents the new world. we learn throughout the show that he came from a lower class background, has a lot of resentment towards the upper class and government of britain, and feels they oppressed him. there's commentary there on how insecure/downtrodden people often become tools of imperialism in an attempt to find some small amount of power or respect, by positioning themselves above someone else. punching down and all that. his first lines in the show are about how command puts dogs above men, showing how belittled he feels by it all, and how much resentment he holds towards them for it. yet, the moment crozier shows him the slightest recognition, hickey begins attempting to appeal to him entirely, chasing the idea of social mobility through the system he has spent his life detesting, because now, it seems tangible to him. he goes out to kidnap lady silence, thinking crozier will appreciate him for it ("i just saved your life" line. laughs), abusing the people of the new world for his own potential personal gain. he gets whipped for it, and loses the reverence for crozier, and therefore the british empire at large. and while he continues to abuse the native people, it is now through the conduit of abusing his fellow englishmen. there's a Lot to the irving farr murder scene that both is and is not relevant to this specific conversation, but the way his violence is turned inward there i think is really important here; even though, and perhaps especially because, the result of native people dying is the same. at his hanging he properly denounces crozier, and calls him out for what hickey perceives as essentially abandoning his men. something something the british empire has abandoned its people; abandoned the lower class to a miserable fate as hickey feels has happened to him, and abandoned this mission of people to die in the arctic on a doomed expedition with no rescue until it's far too late.
now the tuunbaq representing the new world is not at all unique to hickey's character arc—it's something present and relevant within the core of the whole show—but the specific way he perceives tuunbaq as a direct foil to crozier is unique to him. when hickey toasted with crozier, he thought crozier Saw him, and understood him and his experiences in an empathetic way. he thought they had connected. he was, obviously, wrong, but that's not the only thing he was wrong about! when he kidnaps silna, he says that the tuunbaq Saw him, looked Him Specifically in the eye. he thought he had connected with it. obviously he did not. there is Something to the way the tuunbaq is always summoned by hickey's actions; it shows up to attack them whenever harm comes to the native people, and usually that is hickey's fault. however when it shows up at his execution, it saves his life, which is really interesting. honestly not entirely sure what the thematic significance of that is past furthering hickey's delusions that the tuunbaq is in his corner but i digress. by the time of his mutiny he has all but fully forsaken crozier and the british empire. yet the nagging desire to appeal to authority and get that recognition remains. he wants crozier to see that he alone is capable of saving these men, and brings up their toast to try and get crozier to understand. when crozier tells him the toast was a joke, and there was no connection whatsoever, he gives up on saving them entirely. he chains them to a boat and, again, summons the tuunbaq, but with dramatic british songs instead of preemptive violence. there is violence of a different kind, though, and now it is Only turned inwards. there are. a Lot. of ways to read the final stand off with tuunbaq, but i've always read it as a sacrifice. hickey did not want to kill the tuunbaq, obviously. he hardly wanted to leave the arctic at that point. he was turning over the remaining of their men, and crozier especially, this embodiment of the british empire, to the tuunbaq as a sacrifice. when he cut his tongue out, i didn't see that as an attempt at domination. i saw it as an attempt at supplication. the last thing he used his tongue for was denouncing britain; its monarchy and its church and its empire. instead, he names tuunbaq as the most holy thing he's ever seen. the god they've lived their lives believing in means nothing when faced with the raw dregs of godhood present before them in the tuunbaq; the empire they've lived their lives believing in means nothing when faced with this beautiful and merciless land they are now condemned to. he is renouncing his britishness. he gives the tuunbaq the human embodiment of the empire to kill and eat because he no longer wants anything to do with it. his reverence is for tuunbaq and tuunbaq alone. but tuunbaq does not accept his offer, and kills him anyway. because he Is british, he Is a tool of imperialism, he Has done so much harm to this land and it's people, and no end-of-life realization is going to change that. i find it especially fitting that it is hickey's body that kills it. everyone else's rotting british flesh had sickened it, but hickey killed it, because despite his best attempts to distance himself, he Is the rotting evil of the empire, and is just as much a poison to this land as the rest of them
#hickey pick me girl-ing too close to the sun#i love this character so much sorry for rambling on and on and on he just needs to be examined#there are a Lot of intersectional aspects of his character that are Loosely brought up here but i could go a Lot more in depth about#dog motif for example#and him being a downtrodden man who hates the empire turning to the empire for self betterment#oh the roman roy of it all!#but anyways. hickey so full of dichotomies and disorders#need to longpost about his disorders because i think about them often. boy why are you so diagnosable#okay i'm done sorry#cornelius hickey#the terror#the tuunbaq#francis crozier#captain crozier
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Sukuna Can't Tell the Time (The unique way Sukuna is damned to eternal miscommunication and existentialism in the modern era.)
Notes before we start.
1) I will be mainly using the TCB scans for the manga because of their accessibility.
2) I need professional help.
(Click images for captions/citations.)
Preface
I want to get one thing out of the way. This is going to be a weird write-up because I'm hardly going to cite the manga.
I'm basically posting this as a reference for myself. All of this occurred so I could properly lean into the old man aspect of Sukuna for a fic I'm writing. (Aka I read too much on actual Heian Era history and now you all have to suffer.)
People often joke that Sukuna is an old man, but I'm here to tell you he is so out of touch and out of time that he might as well be existing in a never-ending Lovecraftian nightmare where time has stopped being real.
It's going to take a while to explain why this is the case so hear me out, maybe?
Fundamental Measurements
What is a unit of measurement? And where did these units come from? If you've taken an entry level physics class, you've already been through the existential crisis answering these questions caused.
But for the uninitiated, have you ever sat down and asked yourself why you know what a foot/meter is? Everyone has kind of agreed they represent a specific distance, and depending on where you were raised, you'll prefer one over the other.
I'm an American. I'm also an engineer. I have to use SI Units and Freedom Units all the time. Differing distance units are things I can easily conceptualize. I understand what a meter is. It's like 3.3 feet.
Every time I hear meter, my brain does the conversion to 3.3 feet because I was raised with feet as my base unit of measurement. But oddly enough, when I hear 100 meters, I instantly know how far that is. This is because I was a sprinter for all of Jr. High and High School. When someone says 100 meters, I picture the got danged torture stretch of the 300 meter hurdles.
The point of this is to establish that early life experiences become a reference point when thinking about things as an adult. If I didn't run track or do engineering, I would be a "What the fuck is a kilometer?" type American.
Measurements of Miscommunication
If you couldn't tell, I wrote the previous section with Non-Americans in mind. I specified the units of measurement I was using for distance because I understand people outside of the US could be reading my post.
But what happens if I don't do that? What happens when people assume everyone's units of measurement are the same as theirs? Allow me to recall a conversation I'm sure most of you Non-Americans have had with an American on the internet and vice versa.
Friend, Non-American: Ugh it's 40 degrees out today.
Me, American: Dang that sounds pretty cold, don't forget to wear a jacket.
Friend, Non-American: What the hell do you meant that's cold???
Me, American and remembering where they live: OH YOU MEAN CELSIUS. That's 104 in Freedom Units.
Friend, Non-American: 104 IS SUPER DEAD IN CELSIUS.
(40°F is 4.4°C btw.)
As you can see, these kind of assumptions relay drastically different information. 40 degrees without a unit is read as cold or hot depending on where a person is from. It also doesn't help that the conversion between these units is nonsense. The vast majority of people can't do °C = (°F − 32) × 5/9 off the top of their head.
I, for the life of me, cannot comprehend Celsius. Temperature is too abstract a concept for my brain to swap systems. I think there's a reason for this.
Unlike distance, you can't see the temperature with your body. You can feel it, sure, but sometimes you step into a walk-in freezer and come out feeling like everything is warmer than it is. Relativity like that won't affect how you see distance. A foot is a foot, a meter is a meter, and they will always look those distances. You can check them easily.
Temperature? You need a thermometer to check. Or you assume the generalized data on a weather app is accurate. And things like humidity can fudge with your perception it.
This is all to say that my brain assigned the number 40 as cold. It being a hot number is barely comprehensible because my foundation is it being cold.
(If you were wondering, yes this is why I write out dates like Month DD, YYYY. It's so no one has to look at 3/4/YYYY and guess if they're supposed to be reading it as March 4th or April 3rd because they can't tell what country I'm from.)
What does this have to do with Sukuna?
Well my dear reader, my question to you is: What units of measurement were used in the Heian Era?
Forget about distance and temperature. How was time measured in the Heian era?
Heian Era Timekeeping
Ancient Japan ran on something called a Lunisolar Calendar. This is a type of calendar based around moon phases and sun positioning hence, lunisolar.
Taken directly from Wikipedia:
"A lunisolar calendar is a calendar in many cultures, incorporating lunar calendars and solar calendars. The date of lunisolar calendars therefore indicates both the Moon phase and the time of the solar year, that is the position of the Sun in the Earth's sky. If the sidereal year (such as in a sidereal solar calendar) is used instead of the solar year, then the calendar will predict the constellation near which the full moon may occur. As with all calendars which divide the year into months there is an additional requirement that the year have a whole number of months. In some cases ordinary years consist of twelve months but every second or third year is an embolismic year, which adds a thirteenth intercalary, embolismic, or leap month.
Their months are based on the regular cycle of the Moon's phases. So lunisolar calendars are lunar calendars with – in contrast to them – additional intercalation rules being used to bring them into a rough agreement with the solar year and thus with the seasons."
Did you notice something funky? A leap month has to be accounted for with this calendar. And it gets worse. The duration between leap months vary because the earth's path around the sun varies.
Under this calendar system, instead of a fixed interval of time always passing for a year, everything is variable. This means conversion to a modern date, which uses fixed time intervals, is not a one to one thing. It's kind of like trying to convert February 29th to non-leap years. Some people born on this day celebrate on February 28th and others will use March 1st. Legally speaking in the US, March 1st is used for tallying. (And if you've seen the Pirates of Penzance, this is an actual plot point when trying to determine a character's contract clause.) So imagine that but for months, years, and hours all the time.
I exclude days from this issue because Heian Japan agreed that a day was as day. They don't shrink or grow. The 12 hours a day always pass! And yes I mean 12 hours a day.
Heian Hours
For the rest of this discussion I'm referencing this lovely source by Katherine M. Lawrence. Everything quoted is from here.
So... let's get into that 12 hour day thing.
"Days consisted of 12 hours based on the 12 zodiac animals, each Heian hour being equal to about two modern hours. In a moment I will get to why I deliberately used the word “about.”
Days were divided into six “hours” of daylight and six “hours” of darkness. Instead of midnight, the day started at daybreak. Only in the Meiji times, in 1867, did the day change at midnight.
What is fascinating is that there were always six “hours” of daylight and six “hours” of night irrespective of the time of year. In modern times, with mechanical and even atomic clocks, we accept that more daylight falls in summer than in winter. We might turn back or move our clocks forward twice a year. In Japan it was done 24 times a year—approximately every 14 to 16 days—so that the first light would always come during the first “hour” of the day, which was known as the Hour of the Rabbit, sometimes called the Hour of the Hare. Dusk would come at the Hour of the Bird, sometimes called the Hour of the Rooster.
If we were to measure the actual length of winter days using a modern timepiece, the Hour of the Rabbit would be shorter than two hours because the relatively shorter total daylight in winter would still be distributed into six parts.
The six nighttime hours in winter would absorb the extra darkness and be proportionately longer than the nominal two hours of our 24-hour clock.
All this kept the astrologers and priests busy, because every 14 to 16 days, the clocks had to be adjusted. “More on that in a minute,” which by the way, is an idiom the Japanese of the era would not have used, because our modern concept of sixty minutes to an hour and sixty seconds to a minute is highly tied to mechanical clocks."
In summary, Heian Hours quite literally grow and shorten depending on the season. That 1 Heian Hour=2 Modern Hours conversion only works when daylight hours are the exact same as nighttime hours.
But it gets even weirder than that. Rather than counting from 1 to 12 for daytime and nighttime like we might on our modern clocks, Heian Japan counted down from 9 to 4 twice. This results in a clock conversion that looks like this.
And remember, this is only accurate when daylight hours are equal to nighttime hours!
It should also be noted that these hours were announced by the ringing of temple bells throughout the day and the night. Everyone relied on these temples to keep the time at all times.
But wait, there's more! (Heian Months and Solar Stems)
This is where timekeeping really starts to fall apart in terms of my understanding of it so Ms. Katherine M. Lawrence is going to explain it.
"In the Heian period (and until 1867), each month began on the dark moon, also know as the new moon. The full moon would come on the 15th day and the month would end approximately on the 28th, sometimes the 29th, and even the 30th day of the month.
Japanese did not have the western concept of the seven-day week, though they certainly could count to seven. What they had instead was the concept of the solar stem, of which there were 24."
"The first solar stem of the Japanese year starts on the first day of the year: Start of Spring, which, unlike the Western calendar, is not in March. The Last Solar Stem (the 24th) ends on the last day of Major Cold. The beginning of the year in Japan, as measured by the Western calendar, would start somewhere between mid-January and mid-February, the variation resulting from aligning the solar stems with the lunar months."
In summary, Heian Months may be about the same length as Modern Months, but they are strictly based on the moon phases and the 24 Solar Stems are anchored around them.
This leaves us with a conversion calendar that looks like this. (Edited to number the Solar Stems.)

And remember, this is approximate. The Solar Stems do not always align with these exact Georgian calendar dates.
The lunar months, of course, do not use our calendar date names. I present a summary table based on several people's documentation (Source 1, Source 2, Source 3) since sadly the other blogger didn't include them:
(Jan-Feb) Mutsuki (睦月) Month of Harmony/Affection
(Feb-Mar) Kisaragi (如月) Month of Changing of Clothes
(Mar-Apr) Yayoi (弥生) Month of Plant Growth/New Life
(Apr-May) Uzuki (卯月) Month of Deutzia Flowers
(May-Jun) Satsuki (皐月) Month of Planting Rice
(Jun-Jul) Minazuki (水無月) Month of Water/No Gods
(Jul-Aug) Fumizuki (文月) Month of Literature
(Aug-Sep) Hazuki (葉月) Month of Leaves
(Sep-Oct) Nagatsuki (長月) The Long Month
(Oct-Nov) Kannazuki (神無月) Month of Gods
(Nov-Dec) Shimotsuki (霜月) Month of Frost
(Dec-Jan) Shiwasu (師走) Month of Running Priests
This table merges multiple sources because the translations of Kanji differ and it's good to see how/why these differences occur. There's also the issue of the bloggers presenting the months like 1-to-1 conversions.
I want to stress that these Lunar Months start and end anywhere from the middle to the late parts of Georgian Months. This is why Source 1 claims Mutsuki=Feb while Sources 2 & 3 claim Mutsuki=Jan. Source 1 chose Feb because the majority of Mutsuki occurs in Feb while Sources 2 & 3 chose Jan because Mutsuki technically starts in late Jan.
Now that I've laid all this out, I'm sure you have the following burning question:
How the hell do you convert modern time to Heian time???
I turn to Ms. Katherine M. Lawrence again for guidance.
"If this post gets some interest, I will continue and explain how the author calculates..."
There's no guidance.
However! There is an example of a conversion without the explanation.
"Thus, we know as Yamabuki and Tomoe ride up to the Shayō Tōge, the Sunset Pass, at Sunset on May 11, 1172, in the middle of a freak snowstorm, the author can say with some assurance that it happened at the Hour of the Bird on the 13th day of the 7th solar stem, two days past the full moon of the Flower Month."
So I'm going to try to figure out how this occurred using the information I've been given.
Hour of the Bird: This one is easy! The bird hour is the official sunset hour.
7th Solar Stem: According to the chart that's between late April and early May.
13th Day: Since Solar Stems are about 14-16 days this means it's almost the 8th Solar Stem which starts around May 21st.
2 days past the full moon of the Flower Month: "Flower Month" is not on my chart. From what I know about kanji, I think this is a simplification of Uzuki (卯月) or the the Month of Deutzia Flowers. This aligns with the month of May.
This is where I give up. I legitimately do not know where to go from here. ...And that's my point.
What does this have to do with Sukuna?
Before I completely lose you, my dearest most patient reader, please consider the following:
You wake up in a place where time is counted backwards and the hours pass faster than you've ever known them to. The things you use to tell the time don't exist or are in a form you no longer can recognize.
You see a clock face that counts in the wrong direction to numbers you've never seen used for time. The sounds it makes are familiar and foreign all at once. When you try to use the times and dates everyone you ever knew understood instantly, you're met with complete confusion. No one except a few dedicated scholars know how to convert your concept of time to theirs.
This is how Sukuna experiences time in the modern era.
Sukuna Can't Tell the Time (Sukuna almost fumbled his date with Gojo.)
Remember all my rambling about my own experiences with trying to understand SI Units as a Freedom Units user and my complete and utter failure to convert Heian Time to Modern Time? This is to establish that on a fundamental level, it does not matter that Sukuna has access to his vessel's memories. These foreign units mean nothing without a conversion reference.
Yuta in Gojo's body showed us how the memory recollection process works. You see them like movie and must draw your understandings from them.
We also learn from Sukuna that he tends to ignore memories that aren't relevant to his sorcery. So something mundane like telling the time isn't his priority. (I often think about how Sukuna has been watching Yuji and everyone around him use a cell phone but he still calls it a photography device.)
(He's lying about the flowers though.)
So this leads us to Sukuna and Gojo setting the date for their battle...
When Sukuna heard Kenjaku say November 19th and Gojo say December 24th his brain was the equivalent of TV static. It's very likely that Sukuna had to rely on Kenjaku to ensure he showed up at the right day. (Kenjaku, of course, is an exception here because instead of drawing from memories, Kenny got to live through the transitional period of the Lunisolar Calendar to the Georgian Calendar and had 100+ years to adjust to it. And now that I think about it, the Culling Game using days to count time is probably Kenjaku being considerate of this generational difference.)
It's a really good thing that Gojo didn't specify the time because that would've made things worse. See the following examples using the handy dandy conversion chart as a reference...
Gojo: Let's do this at 10.
Sukuna: ???
Gojo: Let's do this at 9.
Sukuna: *Shows up approximately 2 hours late at 11 am.*
Gojo: Let's do this at 8.
Sukuna: *Shows up approximately 5 hours late at 1 pm.*
Gojo: Let's do this at 7.
Sukuna: *Shows up approximately 8 hours late at 3 pm*
Gojo: Let's do this at 6.
Sukuna: *Shows up on time?* (It’s December in the northern hemisphere so the sun comes up after 6. Sukuna might still show up a bit late.)
These examples also assume that Sukuna can still gauge Heian Hours accurately. That too is up in the air because the hourly bells that sounded the Heian Hours no longer exist. The temples and bells may remain, but their use for timekeeping has changed entirely.
Since it's likely he spent a large portion of his early life in a temple, there's a chance Sukuna has a strong internalized sense of Heian Hours. But how many people do you know that can accurately feel an hour pass on vibes alone?
There isn't any point in the manga where Sukuna indicates he knows what Georgian Month is, let alone a Modern Hour. I think that's why he's just waiting on top of the building for Gojo to show up. The day starts for him when the sun comes up, not midnight. He probably figured that as long as he was out there by dawn, eventually his date would show up.
There's something strangely adorable about that. Sukuna didn't go out massacring others for funsies or wreak havoc after Gojo was unsealed. He just waited a whole month and gambled on their connection starting the death date on time.
How Sukuna Might Tell the Time
When Sukuna uses time units, he only uses minutes or seconds.
Well...the narrator implies he's able to use seconds.
This makes sense despite the Heian Era not having minutes or seconds. They're foundational units rather than a unit he needs to convert to something mentally. Because they are so drastically smaller than other Heian units of time, it's easier for the brain to calibrate itself to them.
This means that if one wanted to communicate a duration of time to Sukuna, it would be better to use minutes or seconds.
For example, rather than saying "see you in an hour", "see you in 60 minutes" would be better. Otherwise Sukuna is going to default to 1 Heian Hour and show up approximately 2 hours late.
Another example, telling Sukuna you'll "be gone for a few hours" means to him that you'll be gone for most of the day. At this point it would be better to reference a duration of an activity he's familiar with than use minutes. Sukuna watched some of those movies with Yuji. "I'll be gone for 1-2 movies" will make a little more sense to him.
Funnily enough though, telling Sukuna that you work a 9-5 wouldn't cause a miscommunication for duration. That's 4 Heian Hours or about 8 Modern Hours. He probably thinks it's weird you start working in the middle of the day and into the night though.
How Sukuna tells time for himself is likely similar to someone lost in the wilderness. He'll mostly be relying on environmental cues like moon phase, sun position, constellations, and flora growth. (Which ironically, climate change affecting flora growth patterns would throw him off even more. I can't even imagine how he'd feel about light pollution stealing away the stars on top of that. But at least the moon is still there!)

But as you can see, the normal methods of precise timekeeping are next to impossible for Sukuna to use and this discrepancy is ripe for miscommunication. This has a lot of comedy and horror potential in fanworks. (Hence me writing this as a resource.)
How Sukuna Used to Tell the Time
After doing all this research, I found myself viewing Sukuna's theme Malevolent Shrine a little differently. I always found it to be a quite sad sounding song for his character. Villains as violent and fierce as Sukuna tend to get battle themes that reflect that. In comparison to high energy bangers like One-Winged Angel (Sephiroth Final Fantasy), Avalon (Ultimate Lifeform Kars Jojo), or The Last Mission (Murem vs Netero Hunter x Hunter), Malevolent Shrine is rather somber and unfocused.
This theme opens and closes with bells. The opening in particular feels chaotic with how the different bells seem to overlap and overwhelm each other. But if you listen closely, you'll hear the gong of a temple bell that keeps rhythm by marking the start of a new measure. Using this bell, it becomes easier to count the beats, even when it eventually disappears in the middle section.
His theme to me now feels like an echo of what Sukuna used to know before he was thrust into a world that is no longer in sync with his very concept of time.
"Interestingly, the Japanese “witching hour” is not at midnight, but at nominally 2 AM (1 AM–3 AM) and is known as the Hour of the Ox."

I don't really know where else to put this. Sukuna on his throne of ox skulls, a representation of the witching hour where reality falls apart and spirits come out to play.
How all this might look in action. (Defending my questionable writing choices.)
Though everything I've given is plenty enough for people to run wild with in fanworks, I would like to give examples of it in my own. My type of autism is one where it's easier for me have something to use as a direct reference. (Clear and concise instructions please.) So I want to provide that for anyone else wired similarly.
Context: The fic I'm writing is from Sukuna's POV so I've taken great care to avoid him using modern timekeeping terms. I have a timeline for everything outlined, but I refuse to make that clear to the reader so they can get the Sukuna Experience™.
Other characters will reference the time and give the reader little windows into what date it possibly is, but otherwise they have to infer it themselves.
But because I myself use modern time, I caught mistakes I made in an early chapter... (Aka before I realized Heian Timekeeping is Extremely Different.)
Old Sentence: The year is 2019.
Revised Sentence: The year is 2019 for the Common Era.
(Heian Japan was mimicking China so I'm assuming that the numbered years restarted with each era since I couldn't find how years were kept.)
Old Sentence: It’s reminding him he has not eaten for the past 5 hours and 38 minutes.
Revised Sentence: It’s reminding him he has not eaten since the hour of the dragon—338 minutes and counting.
(This one is self evident I think.)
But even within this chapter, I obscured the date by having Sukuna observe his surroundings. I don't think it's a good example so I'll use a different one.
...it occurs under the same wisteria and same midday sun. The branches and buds have begun to green and sag before the Flowering Moon has reached its full, an indication that the bloom will come early.
Wisterias bloom in late April around the time of full moon. April aligns with Yayoi or the Month of Plant Growth/New Life. I worked under the assumption that the moons can be called by their month names kind of like Native American moon names. But Plant Growth/New Life Moon didn't sound good to me so I changed it to Flowering.
So I do have a very specific date for when this scene occurs, but Sukuna doesn't know so the reader doesn't know. The best you can guess is sometime in April but you have to know when Wisterias typically bloom and what a Flowering Moon might be. (I'm hoping this kind of vague timekeeping disorients the reader and causes frustration. I used sun, moon, and star positioning charts for this got dang it.)
Tools to Use for Weird Timekeeping
Chinese Calendar Conversions
Solar Stem Converter
(This one is annoying to use because they don't use the translated names but there is a definitions table.)
Lunar Calendar Converter
(Unfortunately it only allows for 1901-2100. You can probably infer the lunar month via the Solar Stem Converter for older dates.)
Celestial Bodies
For star/constellation positions in the night sky use this:
Sky & Telescope Interactive Sky Chart
(Yes you can even change the location and time to get the exact night sky the characters might be looking at.)
For sun positions and sunrise/sunset times use this:
SunCalc
For moon positions and moonrise/moonset times use this:
MoonCalc
(If you want to see a summary of moon phases by month this tool is helpful.)
This tool gives celestial body-specific rise and set times along with positions:
In-The-Sky
(The site is a bit unintuitive so here is an example of it being used for a star cluster at a specific location and toggleable date.)
Extra Info
Here’s a document on how the Subaru/Pleiades star cluster was used for timekeeping in historical Japan: The Inspiration of Subaru as a Symbol of Cultural Values and Traditions in Japan
There’s also this website that briefly goes over historical Japanese astrology with a focus on the Orion’s Belt constellation: Astronomy and Mythology in Ancient Japan
Wiki links for celestial body festivals that have been around since the Heian:
Star Festival (Tanabata)
Moon Festival (Tsumiki)
Why have you done this?
I don't know. Please enjoy my perverse obsession with the little details.
#cactus yaps#Erikaposting with this one. Need to get my brain examined.#I almost included a rant about changing floral language confusing Sukuna even more but I stopped myself.#This is Sukugo in the vaguest way possible so I won't tag it I think.#The things I do for this fic... This is much worse than my Ace Combat one.#ryomen sukuna#jujutsu kaisen#jjk spoilers#jjk meta#writing ref
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I can't stop thinking about how the show sets up selfishness and selflessness as two sides of the same coin. How do you walk the line between making sure your loved ones can achieve their own dreams even if it means hurting yourself, and hurting your loved ones because you're hurting yourself for their sake?
It all goes back to Thame putting up his wish on the orange tree that he'll make all of the other members' dreams come true. Thame, who agrees to a shitty contract and works himself to the bone and makes it completely his burden to prove that Mars is a good investment for the company. Thame, who is made to believe that that very act of love and sacrifice is only debilitating his friends' dreams and the only way to keep his original promise is to leave.
We see Thame essentially being back at square one in this episode. He has to leave and go to Korea alone so the people he loves can achieve their dreams. But so much has changed since then. Thame had found hope, that he could simultaneously keep his promise and be selfish to want both his band and his partner. He's once again been working himself to the bone, giving up all of his time and attention between the band and Po, because his tiredness is such a small price to pay to turn that dream into reality. Why wouldn't he gladly take on all of that tiredness and more?
But despite all of the groundbreaking things he's achieved and everything he's given of himself, it doesn't work. His friends break down around him possibly reigniting the same insecurities from earlier that he worked so hard to ensure wouldn't come to pass. His boyfriend breaks up with him despite Thame promising to take on all of the burden and tiredness to make it work. He's being forced to leave everyone behind and he's being left behind too.
That flip from Thame being convinced that the best thing for him to do would be to leave for everyone else's sake, to the rest of Mars and Po being convinced that the best thing for them to do is to step back for Thame's sake is so so important to me. It's not just Thame who made making his friends' dreams come true into his own dream. The rest of Mars and Po did the same thing with Thame's dream. But how does it all work when the sacrifices you're willing to make for the dreams of your loved ones are at the cost of their happiness because they're at the cost of your own?
Thame's effort didn't go to waste. We see all of that effort manifesting in how it opens doors for the other members and Po so much more easily now. But it's also true that at the base of those new successes lie the shattered hopes of that shared dream between them.
The show sets up the question of whether the person who's leaving others behind feels hurt, and we see so many iterations of it. We see Earn leaving behind the person who was an instrumental part of his success without a second thought. We see Thame giving himself up and leaving for the band's sake. We see Jun leave twice, the first so that his friend would for once think of himself and his own success instead of letting the others drag him away from it, and the second when he's sure that his friend can be what the person that he cares for deserves. We see Pepper being completely willing to leave if the two biggest parts of his life cannot exist together and we see Gam actually leaving when it proves to be true. And we see Po leave because he cannot let himself become an obstacle in Thame's path and make all of their efforts come to waste. If that's the price to pay so that the people they love can have what they want then so be it, right? Their sacrifices are insignificant in the face of that.
But what happens when all those sacrifices still aren't enough? When the cost becomes too huge to bear?
#thamepo#thamepo the series#thamepo heart that skips a beat#mine#if it wasn't clear already i do love this show a lot and i think the writing is really clever#i personally thought that the conflict in this ep was actually very well set up since the beginning#not to say that you're wrong if you felt otherwise! i mean you don't need me to tell you that your opinions are valid#(that is if there's anyone even reading these lmao hi)#i just do think that maybe certain things that are treated as inherent failings of the ql genre have set up certain expectations#that maybe should be revised once in a while so that we can meet the story half way and see what the creatives are attempting#instead of writing it off because of those expectations?#sorry that was confusing but i've been thinking about this since peaceful property and the trainee i think if not before#i understand the feelings around things like the ep 11 curse or queerbaiting or queer women ending up with a man etc etc#i really truly do. but i think we're far enough from when these storylines were being used in the worst ways#that it's worth examining the reasoning behind storylines like that now and see if there's worth to it#before dismissing them as invoking that precedent?#idk maybe i'm wrong. anyway.
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we talk a lot about water ghouls having bioluminescent markings and fire ghouls having glowing cracks in their skin, but hear me out:
quintessence ghouls with markings like lichtenberg figures (aka the scars people can develop after being struck by lightning)

imagine the possibilities...
#thinking thoughts#about dew mapping every one of aether's marka with careful fingertips#about terzo spending hours kissing the ones that decorate omega's chest#about swiss stripping aeon down to examine every last inch of him - and to leave his own marks alongside them...#idk i just think it would be neat#also idk how to tag this so if i need to add anything lmk 👍
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our glorious (western) representation vs their barbarous (asian) fetishization
#'the yaoification of mlm ships' man idek what to say#f.txt#i've had this in my drafts for a while and i wasn't gonna post it#but as we're on the topic dfjhgs#i really really need people to examine the way they think and talk about asian media#not gonna get more into it (i could go on forever lol) instead i'll leave it at:#good thing i love fetishization <3
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