#need to longpost about his disorders because i think about them often. boy why are you so diagnosable

[toastytrusty]

hickey is a really good example of a character who's internal conflict is represented externally by his relationships with other characters. his feelings towards the british empire/the bureaucratic command of the mission is split between his respect for crozier and his reverence tuunbaq. and it gets so religious and existential it's so good.

to hickey, crozier represents the british empire, and tuunbaq represents the new world. we learn throughout the show that he came from a lower class background, has a lot of resentment towards the upper class and government of britain, and feels they oppressed him. there's commentary there on how insecure/downtrodden people often become tools of imperialism in an attempt to find some small amount of power or respect, by positioning themselves above someone else. punching down and all that. his first lines in the show are about how command puts dogs above men, showing how belittled he feels by it all, and how much resentment he holds towards them for it. yet, the moment crozier shows him the slightest recognition, hickey begins attempting to appeal to him entirely, chasing the idea of social mobility through the system he has spent his life detesting, because now, it seems tangible to him. he goes out to kidnap lady silence, thinking crozier will appreciate him for it ("i just saved your life" line. laughs), abusing the people of the new world for his own potential personal gain. he gets whipped for it, and loses the reverence for crozier, and therefore the british empire at large. and while he continues to abuse the native people, it is now through the conduit of abusing his fellow englishmen. there's a Lot to the irving farr murder scene that both is and is not relevant to this specific conversation, but the way his violence is turned inward there i think is really important here; even though, and perhaps especially because, the result of native people dying is the same. at his hanging he properly denounces crozier, and calls him out for what hickey perceives as essentially abandoning his men. something something the british empire has abandoned its people; abandoned the lower class to a miserable fate as hickey feels has happened to him, and abandoned this mission of people to die in the arctic on a doomed expedition with no rescue until it's far too late.

now the tuunbaq representing the new world is not at all unique to hickey's character arc—it's something present and relevant within the core of the whole show—but the specific way he perceives tuunbaq as a direct foil to crozier is unique to him. when hickey toasted with crozier, he thought crozier Saw him, and understood him and his experiences in an empathetic way. he thought they had connected. he was, obviously, wrong, but that's not the only thing he was wrong about! when he kidnaps silna, he says that the tuunbaq Saw him, looked Him Specifically in the eye. he thought he had connected with it. obviously he did not. there is Something to the way the tuunbaq is always summoned by hickey's actions; it shows up to attack them whenever harm comes to the native people, and usually that is hickey's fault. however when it shows up at his execution, it saves his life, which is really interesting. honestly not entirely sure what the thematic significance of that is past furthering hickey's delusions that the tuunbaq is in his corner but i digress. by the time of his mutiny he has all but fully forsaken crozier and the british empire. yet the nagging desire to appeal to authority and get that recognition remains. he wants crozier to see that he alone is capable of saving these men, and brings up their toast to try and get crozier to understand. when crozier tells him the toast was a joke, and there was no connection whatsoever, he gives up on saving them entirely. he chains them to a boat and, again, summons the tuunbaq, but with dramatic british songs instead of preemptive violence. there is violence of a different kind, though, and now it is Only turned inwards. there are. a Lot. of ways to read the final stand off with tuunbaq, but i've always read it as a sacrifice. hickey did not want to kill the tuunbaq, obviously. he hardly wanted to leave the arctic at that point. he was turning over the remaining of their men, and crozier especially, this embodiment of the british empire, to the tuunbaq as a sacrifice. when he cut his tongue out, i didn't see that as an attempt at domination. i saw it as an attempt at supplication. the last thing he used his tongue for was denouncing britain; its monarchy and its church and its empire. instead, he names tuunbaq as the most holy thing he's ever seen. the god they've lived their lives believing in means nothing when faced with the raw dregs of godhood present before them in the tuunbaq; the empire they've lived their lives believing in means nothing when faced with this beautiful and merciless land they are now condemned to. he is renouncing his britishness. he gives the tuunbaq the human embodiment of the empire to kill and eat because he no longer wants anything to do with it. his reverence is for tuunbaq and tuunbaq alone. but tuunbaq does not accept his offer, and kills him anyway. because he Is british, he Is a tool of imperialism, he Has done so much harm to this land and it's people, and no end-of-life realization is going to change that. i find it especially fitting that it is hickey's body that kills it. everyone else's rotting british flesh had sickened it, but hickey killed it, because despite his best attempts to distance himself, he Is the rotting evil of the empire, and is just as much a poison to this land as the rest of them