#i think i finally captured the feeling
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self-titled-poet · 1 year ago
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I often picture the girl
Who is only (just) 18
In dark eye make up
And shoes that hurt her feet,
Because that’s what
Grown ups wear,
In a pub drinking
Glasses of things
Only adults are allowed to drink
Surrounded by people
All (at least) double her age
And the man at the centre
His hand resting on her thigh
As he jokes about her
Thinking she cannot hear
How his friends make
Envied comments about
What it must be like
To fuck someone so naive
So inexperienced
Someone so fresh and tight
How she leaves
To go outside and put
A stick between her teeth
That chokes her
All because she wants
To know addiction
To learn why he loves this
But cannot love her
I often think of this girl
And how those cigarettes
Were so loosely rolled
Yet she would spend hours
Hanging out of
Her parents window
Swirling white rum in a glass
Puffing smoke into the sky
Practising making tubes of paper
Stuffed with dry
Sweet smelling grass
All the while
Watching the stars twinkle
She had no hobbies
No interests
Only him, and those parts
Of him she could pour
Deep into herself
To fill the nothingness he gave her
Something inside her
Drowned
Or burned
Or he suffocated out
Because not even a shred
Of the girl at 18
Existed beyond those days
I think she still wonders
Those places
Like a ghost trying to find
The things she lost
The things he tore away
The things he no longer remembers
But I do
I think about the girl
So freshly 18
Lost in the man
That had a habit of plucking souls
And shoving them carelessly
Into his denim pockets
Letting them roll around
Next to his lighter
The fully formed man
Who’s comments stay fresh
Haunting the places
They went together
As if it were yesterday
And not seven years ago
The girl who does all she can
To not be deceived by love
The way she was
But forgives herself for being
No older than a child
Who is trying still
To piece together hobbies
To learn to only wear flat shoes
And to be youthful
With colourful makeup
I mourn the loss of a girl
Who had so much potential
But i suppose only those girls
Are worth being ripped open
—k.l
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gromlyn · 15 days ago
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Stark sisters! ❄️🐺
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ebonytails · 8 months ago
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Bittersweet fish 🌏💫
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imogenkol · 5 months ago
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KINCADE PACK 🐺 (original works) — “The name goes back centuries, and all Miranda cares about is making sure it lasts for many more”
[template by @tommyarashikage]
tag list (ask to be added or removed!): @adelaidedrubman @florbelles @simonxriley @voidika @kyberinfinitygems @voidbuggg @inafieldofdaisies @statichvm @socially-awkward-skeleton @aceghosts @carlosoliveiraa @risingsh0t @unholymilf @thedeadthree @cassietrn @jackiesarch @a-treides @shellibisshe @loriane-elmuerto @katsigian @captastra @simplegenius042 @theelderhazelnut @g0dspeeed @leviiackrman @strangefable @jacobseed
#insp: the lodge#too many ocs to tag here lmao#this is a little bit rushed because it’s like 2am#but I’ve been thinking about doing this template for them since I first saw it#FINALLY I get to talk about this fucked up rich werewolf family#Logan and Jayde’s dad were best friends and grew up together#so Jayde and Skye essentially grew up with Logan’s kids#there’s a lot of complicated feelings there between the kids for various reasons#they consider each other family to a degree (more like cousins)... but some of them would definitely straight up kill each other.#Miranda had her eye mostly on Jayde because she’s the same age as Garret and Miranda’s main goal is to strengthen her bloodline#and Jayde comes from a well known purebred bloodline#so Miranda’s golden boy Garret (massive douchebag) tried his darndest to rizz up Jayde for most of their childhood#Jayde fucking despises him. she beat his ass on more than one occasion. which massively bruised his fragile ego. but he still wants to hit#Amara and Mitchell are the designated chaos twins that Jayde has a love/hate relationship with. Skye gets along with them great of course#Jonas is the only mf that has his head on straight. He's mostly separated from the fam. removed at the 'heir' when he didn't want it.#now hes a werewolf therapist for werewolves with a small family of his own. he reminds Jayde of her dad. he's around the same age too#SCANDAL: Jonas is slightly older than Logan lmao#Declan is the other golden boy. the precious spoiled baby. Miranda's backup for the backup.#he's terrified of Garret so he tries to stay out of his way and mostly keeps to himself#tbh Declan is just Scared of Everything and desperately doesn't want any responsibility but tries to hide it#anyway before Jayde's dad was killed and she was captured they knew hunters were coming for them#so they went to the Kincades for help. Miranda would only accept the girls.#Jayde chose to stay with her parents and they left Skye with the family to keep her safe (she was 12)#that was the last time Skye saw her family intact :/ she didn’t see Jayde again for years.#so Miranda pampered her and groomed her to be in her family.#like she was this little jewel. the last living Thatcher.#now that Jayde is back and Skye is with her and they're living their own life#Miranda be scheming. she wants to claim their bloodline sooo bad.#anyway sorry for the massive lore dump there’s.... a lot of complicated shit going on here
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disney is a coward so I know they'll never do this, but given what we learned was SUPPOSE to happen between alex and stevie, I would still love a post-eloping for the reboot.
like just imagine alex and stevie as the Cool Gay Aunts(tm) for justin's kids (+ billie). they show up for the holidays and totally shower the kids with magical gifts, including a baby dragon for the boys (which does end up setting fire to their parents bed sheets). milo shows off a magic trick to his friends, using alex (since billie's not allowed to) sneakily casting spells from the bushes so the card really does dissapear from his hand, leaving his friends cheering (stevie smiling but refusing to admit to alex how cute is it). stevie has a motorcycle (which alex thinks is super hot but also refuses to admit) and while the kids aren't old enough for a ride, she does let them sit on it and rev the handles nice and loud while justin panics from the porch. they team up with all three kids to pull pranks on justin and even sometimes get giana in on a few harmless ones. maybe alex even uses her role on the tribunal to get stevie's records cleared, and they both start to advocate for a more fair way of distributing magic between families.
and billie could have an extra adult at her side! I know justin is suppose to fill the pseudo-dad role, but while billie spends her time with the russo's, also gets to spend her summers or whatever with her two cool wizard aunts. they encourage her to keep up with her studies but for the most part they just chill, letting billie indulge in a few sweets (knowing how health-conscious justin has forced his family to be) and sometimes in a pg-13 movie together. when she's there however, the house does turn into a prank war; guests are to be extremely careful when entering and encouraged to bring a separate pair of clothes.
I dunno it would just be super cool; alex and stevie reunited and I think the kids would love her too - plus watching their aunt who's always acted so aloof get all smiley and whatnot and I'm just imagining a scenario with alex and the kids like:
billie: why does stevie call you babygirl
alex: hey who wants to play the quiet game!!
#wizards of waverly place#wowp#wizards beyond waverly place#disney channel#I would LOVE a reappearance of stevie though just imagine it#even though billie has been training something happens where the council finally decides to strip her of her powers like alex warned about#alex and justin try going to talk to the council on billie's behalf but have to leave her behind#and when billie's all alone you suddenly see stevie slink from the shadows with a 'hey kid..'#billie is nervous at first but stevie says she actually wants to help her and that it's not fair what's happening to her#and says if billie comes with her then she can keep her powers and in a moment of worry billie makes the split decision to go with her#I dunno how alex finds out maybe roman sees it happen too late and says some girl took billie#'what girl??' 'I dunno! she was a wizard too - she kept her wand in her boot!'#and IMMEDIATELY alex knows what happened#alex eventually finds stevie and there's this VERY tense moment when they see each other#stevie still mad at alex for 'betraying' her (even if stevie was kinda right but nvm) and who's she's aligned with now#'you workin' for the man now russo? gone soft?' 'at least I'm not straight-up stealing kids'#alex still feeling a bit guilty about what she did to stevie but mad at her for taking billie#there's an almost fight (verbal or magical whichever) but in some outside chaos they loose billie#now they're forced to team up to find her#and although it's cold at first they both warm up again to each other having missed their friendship (even if it was short lived)#stevie quietly admiring how much further alex has gotten with magic and how she's excelled#and alex still having a soft heart for stevie wanting to help the wizards who got abandoned#anyway they find billie but the council is alerted to what happened and is now on their way to them to capture stevie#a cornered alex pleads with stevie saying she can persuade the council to let her go and while stevie's heart skips at that#she knows it's no use and uses her magic to create a pocket dimension to escape or something#but not before kissing alex on the corner of her lips and saying 'till next time russo - give that stuck-up council some hell for me'#freezing alex who's seconds from pulling her back and then disappears#billie enters and unfreezes alex and watches her face slowly turns crestfallen as she realizes#'do you think we'll ever see her again?' 'your guess is as good as mine kid..' '..do you want to?' '....lets head back home.'#WHAT I WOULDN'T GIVE
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puppyeared · 7 months ago
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i think the reason why im so drawn to spirit tracks and pkmn scarvi is that having the legendary/princess as a companion rather than a goal that marks the games completion makes me feel satisfied the way i would after helping a friend
my brother always teases me about how I still havent finished botw after almost 7 years bc "id rather be out picking flowers" which i wont say is untrue. and yes i know Zeldas been holding off ganon for 100 years, yes i can get some sort of idea what her relationship with link was like by recalling memories and going through her diary. ive always loved botw for its unique storytelling and setting which makes it stand out, because it lets you get to know who you're saving.
but because theyre memories, it only works if theres something for the player to investigate that already happened. its retroactive (but effective nonetheless)
on the other hand, spirit tracks does something similar but instead of having the player try to piece together memories and interpret them as a spectator, you actually have an opportunity to get to know zelda yourself by talking to her and working together. besides making it a gameplay mechanic, giving the player control over how they interact with zelda makes it so much more personable.
and I find that making the goal feel personal instead of an obligation gives me more of a reason to work towards it. I know what kind of person botw zelda was but as the player, shes still very much a stranger to me. but spirit tracks zelda? thats my friend!!!! she invited me to go to the beach after we get her body back!!! i dont want to whip her to make her move faster thats mean :(
you know how hostage negotiators are trained to introduce themselves and get to know the person theyre negotiating with because its harder to hurt someone when you know what their favorite food is? its kinda like that, because it feels like im helping a friend than being told or led to do smth
and although i havent played scarvi myself, i feel an attachment to koraidon and miraidon even just watching playthrough clips because its like!! thats my weird scaly dog!! it loves sandwiches and we're friends!!! you know!!!!!!
#i dont normally write long posts like this but i think ive been trying to put this into words for a long time and it finally happened#my cloth mother spirit tracks zelda and my wire mother lttp zelda#ACTUALLY ANOTHER THING when i was a kid i always felt guilty when i had to catch the legendary at the end of the game#because to me it was like 'i know none of this is real but if i capture you and have you under my thumb am i robbing the world of something#normal thoughts for a 10 year old to have#when i talked to my brother abt this he was like 'i mean yeah the point is to dunk on the NPCs what were you expecting' and i mean i think#i get that its supposed to feel rewarding because the legendary is THE reward. but it doesnt feel right and i dislike he feeling of pushing#others down to get ahead. i guess u can argue sun/moon does smth similar where you have nebby with lillie#but lillie still ends up handing nebby over to the player and i STILL feel bad because im like shit man you raised that little guy#and koraidon/miraidon feels less like a reward but more like overpowered motorcycle lizard that is just so oupydog. and i love him#and in spirit tracks i went out of my way doing some of the side quests bc zelda asked nicely and honestly that was enough for me#i think all of this boils down to.. i feel very protective abt things i care abt so stories that give me a reason to care hits harder#this can also go the other way bc i CRIED when i finished links awakening because i KNEW every person and im responsible for#literally the end of their world. like. there was a family with 5 kids. marin loved singing and cared about me. she was my FRIEND#i just. ugh. i have too many feelings rn. i kinda wanna draw more spirit tracks link and zelda i think that wld make me feel better#yapping#diary#loz#pokemon
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moonviewer · 2 years ago
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"Let’s run away.”
(unrendered > rendered
doing an illustration study with mafuyu’s new look :) )
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moe-broey · 4 months ago
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MOE. SUMMER ALT‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
BIGGEST thing about Moe history is that for Literally Actual Years. I have been trying SO hard to get a beach outfit for it Right. I always had some aspects of it in mind (the white cover-up -- initially sheer, but I like the idea that it's a light shawl kinda like Lyon's, here). But a lot of my designs felt too feminine. Moe is about Balance. Moe is about Mishmash. Moe is about The Silly Factor. It's also unexpectedly practical and loves questionable fashion choices.
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All this in mind! I think its Look really came together when I decided to give it some sporty touches. I esp love the wet shoes... and the visor works so well on it?? The little fish skeleton is a handmade accessory (not actual bones.), like its "tail" in its everyday outfit. I imagine it's jointed/maybe chain linked, so it has some movement to it! The skeleton adds a bit of edge it always has, and ALMOST. Gives a manta ray silhouette paired with the shawl (most noticeable in the topmost art! Didn't set out to do that, but when I noticed this I ran w it LMFAOO)
And. Some doodles
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#fire emblem#feh#RETURN. OF MY SUMMER ALFONSE DESIGN.#like i said though this moe design gave me so much trouble. esp tragically the top pic where i FELT. I GOT IT JUST RIGHT#and then i added details impulsively in pen and the design got too busy. it really needs to be simple.#so what did i do? painstakingly scratch off the pen with a knife.#it's such a small drawing... but it was so perfect.... perfectly capturing everything i wanted to capture w a summer moe...#another thing is that i think sometimes you have to make sacrifices. like. a lot of my prev designs#made a point to show moe's top scars and ESP. its nipple piercings. but like. nothing seemed to work.#i think also bc i have to ask myself 'would moe feel comfortable wearing that?' both gender and autism wise#the sheer cover ups looked so uncomfortable. and i also think about what parts of moe's body#is it most uncomfortable with. thighs ranking first. its shorts always have to be around knee length#i think in second would be its waist/hips. not so much that it Can't be shirtless esp w top surgery#but enough that like. a cozy cute shawl might be nice.#little things change between each drawing too LMFAOO like changing the wristband color from red to green#NONE OF THIS FELT FINAL. all of it feel like I'M GETTING. SO CLOSE. SO FUCKING CLOSE#another scrapped idea was having a fishing lure dangle from the hat. but that would be So Fucking Annoying to wear LMFAOOO#and ESP annoying to draw w moe specifically. the way either eye is visible at any given time.#ANY WHICH WAY. THROWS THIS AT YOU#moe tag#summoner oc#fe alfonse#my art
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brasideios · 4 days ago
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The Air Out Here
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angorwhosebabyisthis · 5 months ago
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watching fandaniel go is wild because he is just [vestibular stims] [vestibular stims] [vestibular stims] [vestibular stims] and yeah man that's a mood
#final fantasy xiv#ffxiv#ffxiv fandaniel#the cutscene where he's dancing and pacing in front of zenos in the armory while they talk genuinely startled me a little#with how accurately the editing and camerawork captured What That Stim Feels Like#i'm less inclined to do Large Amounts of Spinning and Bending; and the way i get my arms involved looks different#but something about the energy to it and the center of gravity and the way he Turns when he steps is just Oh Wow Yeah Same#on one hand; surface-level he's the type of Unhinged Manic Pixie Dream Boy that you'd think would be a bit on the nose for adhd headcanons#(which would be valid anyway to be clear but still)#but like. motherfucker has adhd just look at him#and honestly i like that a lot because 'surface level' is the keyword here. he Has Depth and is adhd about it#i need to find that post about how masking doesn't necessarily mean trying to pass for neurotypical#among other things; it can look like playing super hard into Look at How Megadifferent and Quirky and Weird I Am; and yeah that's him#and tbh he kind of vibes to me as having gotten into Being an Obnoxious Flamboyant Theater Kid#specifically because it's a useful cover for being his brand of ND#'those damn wacky rich gay nobles' as an explanation for your behavior is going to get you a very different niche in society#than 'that weird dude who talks strangely and can't sit still and whose social cues are A Little Off'#'and makes bizarre disruptive distracting movements with his body while he talks'#anyway diversity win etc etc i love him#ableism mention cw#ffxivtag#FF tag
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inkats · 10 months ago
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Hiyori Tomoe + I was feeling weird about drawing and then saw a handsome woman and died a little bit.
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rathockey · 1 year ago
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where's home
border control asked me "where’s home?” and I stumbled over my words half choking out a “Chicago” that feels empty Chicago is where I live where’s home? when I was at sleepaway camp summer after fifth grade someone asked me “where’s home?” and I told them Germany before I realized they meant “where do you live?” where’s home? “home” isn’t real to me I stand just outside “home” in the cold and dark staring through the window at a warmly lit room filled with friends and family where’s home? home hasn’t been real since I turned ten and we left Michigan where’s home? I taste home every time I step outside on a snowy night but it never sticks where’s home?
- original poem
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fitzrove · 6 months ago
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Ok so I'm not 100% sure of this because the claim seems to come from known bad book (twilight of the empire) and this information is not stated in sources from before that (at least that i could find on a cursory search) but. Idk there's the whole thing about Rudolf shooting Mary (according to her wishes) and then apparently just sitting there for five or six hours. Like what was going through his mind. sexy fanfic idea
(Tw: discussion of suicide in the tags)
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monster-noises · 3 months ago
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I fuckin.. I need I need my art to be better man..
I need it to be looser, i need more Life, more Energy, more Colour!!!!! more Stylization!!!!!!! more SHAPES!!!!!! Mood Mood and Tone and Feeling!!!!!!!!!!
and less whatever weird archaic constraints I am holding from Highschool that I can't seem to shake off
I need to Break It a little bit, I need to Bend it until it Sings again..
#Monster noises#unlike my usual Art Gripe posts this one isn't about me looking at my art and seeing something Mediocre#it's me looking at the Objectively Technically Successful thing I'm working on/recently posted and Feeling Nothing From It#and I mean sure we'll chalk a little bit of that up to the depression#cause whether or not I'm feeling Things about the stylization of my work I Should be more giddy than I am#about the husbands finally getting Nasty#outside of just my brain space#but putting that aside the point remains#I'm disappointed by the pieces (and many of my recent pieces and many pieces going back years) lack of Dynamism#I want to capture what the Feeling in image is more than an actual Depiction of the Thing if that makes sense?#Poses should be Pushed#Anatomy eskewed for Shape and expression#but I always always Always Shrink Back#I get to a point and I start thinking 'this looks wrong' and I pull back#I pull back to try and make it look 'right'#and end up reducing it to something...#not Stiff#but limp?#metaphysically Limp#Lacking in the evocative expression I wanted it to have#can you /feel/ the arch of his back like a melody in the back of your head?#or is he just like.. clearly arching his back like a human person would#there's a tacit difference and I am disappointment how rarely I hit the mark on the former#and this is an Old thing and Old old thing#that started in highschool#a long-term bad chain of experiences with a friend and trying to learn to be better artists together#not understanding my needs and how my brain works and trying to fit in a very specific hole i didn't want to fit in#and being chastised for it (though the slight was probably more Received than Intended)#what broke me out of that last time#and kept me from giving up drawing basically
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waywardsalt · 3 months ago
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my recording of the mohg fight, very glad to say that his fight is extremely fun :)
#ohhh this took ages to finally work in this post lol. anyways mohg fight. ridiculously fun.#elden ring#mohg#mohg lord of blood#yeah ill put this in main tags. full mohg fight. for the mohg enjoyers ig i really liked this fight#lots of like. particles being flung around but it never felt like bullshit so it was a fun while to fight him#my post#the 'jump for joy' in the phase change was planned while the 'my thanks' at the end wasnt which is why i do pull up the menu for that one#i left him alone for the nihil as a self-imposed 'gay penalty' bc i didnt want to just like. shred him during it yknow#he can have his theatrics for his healing and phase transition. a bit of respect with the 'my thanks' yknow i like him + the dynasty bit#hes got a funny little buddy in varre and a nice little grinding spot among all the blood soaked atrocities#ive heard ansbach is neat too. n ive been using bloody slash since the moment i got it so in a way ive been chilling with lord of blood#related stuff for a p long time. tbh its neat how varre is the first proper person you meet while mohg is arguably the most hidden demigod#dont think i have any bonus commentary with this one besides i got rlly fucking lucky later in this. yknow the bit lmao#always through him being extra vulnerable to bleed was funny but he apparently gets the lord of blood's exultation buff on bleed procs#so thats a rlly neat thing i found out- i ended up using that talisman for the fight (you can see it under the stamina bar a few times)#it is funny to me that his in-battle dialogue subtitles are all lowercase and lack punctuation beyond accent markings#anyways beyond the final boss the only boss i have left is malenia which should be. fucking fun. i'll get vids of that one for sure#i might get my first attempt at her bc that might be a fun comparison point when i manage to beat her#'my recording of the mohg fight' feels very like. professional. i just got it captured on ps4. it was a random attempt that was successful
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ybcpatrick · 3 months ago
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i've watched the usos v. zowens at wm39 so many fucking times i can nearly recite the commentary word for word. d'you know how bad the brainworms need to be to make you learn the lyrics to a fucking wrestling match 😭
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