#i think i accidently made myself immune to it

[casperth3ghost]

yes i am currently aobbing on my floor trying to figure out ways to fall asleep faster bcuz its already 1:30am and i have to wake up at 6am

[arabella0001]

this took way too much to write

Unspoken chains

Pairing: Aizenx Sosuke x Reader

Anime: Bleach

Synopsis: When Aizen discovers you’re immune to his power, obsession takes root. He’ll stop at nothing to unravel the connection between you-seeing through your resistance, determined to make you his.

Part 1 Part 2

Warnings: power control, soul bond, God complex, teasing, rough sex, fingering, comfort, oral receiving (female, in part 2)

Your capture is no accident—it’s a move as calculated as it is unsettling. Aizen has been observing you, drawn by the rare and unfathomable force stirring beneath your exterior. There is something about you—something intangible—that calls to him like a forbidden secret waiting to be unearthed.

Ulquiorra, silent and unyielding, carries out the task with chilling precision. He takes you swiftly, his presence as cold and unfeeling as the shadows that consume your world. Your fate, sealed before you even realized it, delivers you directly into Aizen’s hands. His gaze lingers on you, steady and calculating, as if peeling back the layers of your very existence.

Aizen hasn’t laid a hand on you, but the weight of his intentions is impossible to ignore. His voice, calm and deliberate, brims with curiosity, though an unsettling edge lies just beneath. He moves without urgency, every glance and word a deliberate step in a game only he knows how to play.

To him, you are an enigma—your power elusive as a half-forgotten dream. Each moment in his presence tightens the tension, a silent game of wits and will that leaves you teetering on the edge of something you don’t yet understand.

Aizen has yet to lay a hand on you, yet the weight of his intentions hangs heavy in the air. His voice, soft and purposeful, drips with curiosity, but there's something darker behind his words. There is no urgency in his actions, only an unnerving calm.

"Oh Y/N," he says with amused tone, "I must say, I'm quite confused how to feel about the mystery you present," he smiles predatory.

"W-what do you want, Aizen? " your voice trembeling with anger and fear. “I will not stay in this place”

He chuckles softly, his brown eyes gleaming with intrigue as he regard you. A faint smile plays on his lips, belying the dangerous intent behind his gaze.

“What do I want?” Aizen repeated, as if amused by your question. “Isn’t oblivious, Y/N?” he made a pause “To uncover what makes you… different. Call it curiosity if you like, but it’s far more than that. There’s something in you I can’t ignore.” He takes a step closer, his tall frame looming over you.

“Your resistance—your immunity—it’s not something I’ve encountered before, it intrigues me”

Aizen reaches out, gently cupping your chin with his hand, tilting you face up to meet his intense stare and you try to step out. "Consider yourself fortunate - not many get the chance to be the subject of my personal interest. "

You look angry at him even though his gaze makes you intimidated "Fortunate? Are you joking? I rather die. You are fucking psychopath, you kidnap me to be a fucking subject? Do you think people will not come here after me?"

His smile widens slightly at your defiant words, a glint of amusement dancing in his eyes. He doesn't seem perturbed by you anger or the harshness of you language.

“You call me a psychopath,” he mused, his gaze sharp but detached. “That’s an easy label for someone you fear, isn’t it? But I assure you, Y/N, I don’t waste my time with meaningless experiments.”

He chuckles darkly, his thumb brushing along you jawline. "As for your friends coming to rescue you, well... let's just say I've taken precautions to ensure we won't be disturbed. "

Aizen leans in closer, his breath ghosting over you ear as he whispers, "No need to wait for them, Y/N. You're mine now, to study and unravel as I see fit. "

"Yours? Are you insane…thats no other way. You repulse me. I’ll end myself before you can do anything."

He pulls back slightly, studying your face with a mixture of fascination and mild disappointment. His grip on you chin tightens ever so slightly.

"End yourself? How delightfully dramatic”

Aizen's free hand comes up to caress you cheek, his touch deceptively gentle. "Repulsion? Anger? You’ll find those emotions fleeting in my presence. And as for this idea of being ‘mine,’” he said, leaning slightly closer, his voice soft yet cutting, “it’s not about ownership. It’s about what you represent—a piece of the world I’ve yet to uncover.”

He leans in again, his lips barely brushing against you ear as he murmurs, "Resisting is futile, Y/N. Embrace your new purpose. Serve me willingly, and I promise a great collaboration… "

You try to pull away from his touch, disgusted by his words and the implications behind them. Your heart races with fear and revulsion, but also an unsettling curiosity and drawning despite yourself.

"And do you think i will not fight back? That i will submit to you or your twisted experiments? You dont know me, Aizen. But I’ll tell you, you’re wrong." Your voice trembles with anger.

A slow, appreciative smile spreads across Aizen's face as he observes the fire in your eyes, the trembling of you voice laced with anger and defiance.

He seems utterly unfazed by you threats, instead appearing intrigued and even pleased by you spirited resistance.

"Oh, but I do know you, Y/N. Perhaps better than you know yourself.’’ his gaze intense and unwavering. "I anticipate your resistance. That’s the entire point. It’s that fire, that refusal to bow, that makes you worth my time."

Aizen's hand slides from you chin to cup the back of you neck, his fingers tangling in you hair. He applies just enough pressure to assert his control without causing pain. "You say you won't submit, that you'll fight me every step of the way. And I believe you. Now.”

"I fucking hate you." you grit your teeth, trying to ignore the confusing sensations of his touch, to fight back against his control. But something in his eyes, in the calm certainty of his words, gives you pause because he feels almost…human.

"You speak as if you've already won,’’ You say through clenched teeth, your voice low and strained. ‘’As if your fate is somehow sealed just because you've dragged me here. Well, let me tell you something, Aizen... "

You lean forward, getting right in his face, your own eyes blazing with determination. "I am not some prize to be claimed or experiment to be studied. I am a person, with your own thoughts, your own will. And I swear to you, I will find a way out of this shit place”

Aizen's eyes glitter with amusement and dark approval at your fierce declaration. He doesn't flinch or pull away from you aggressive proximity, instead leaning in even closer until your faces are mere inches apart. His breath ghosts over you skin, cool and measured.

"Such passion, such conviction, he murmurs, his voice a low rumble. It's truly inspiring, Y/N. You speak of your will, your determination to break free... but don't you see? That fire in your eyes, your spirit - it's precisely what drew me to you in the first place, it’s a gift without a doubt."

His thumb bruyous along you jawline, a feather-light caress that belies the intensity of his gaze. "You are no ordinary person, Y/N.”

You jerk your head back from his touch, a shudder running through you at the contact and you feel a chill down you spine, a mix of fear and reluctant shocking leaning. You take a deep, steadying breath, trying to calm the frantic pounding of your heart and anger inside you.

"You think this is a gift? "You scoff bitterly, your voice shaking slightly. "Being immune to your twisted illusions, to the manipulations of a monster like you? "

You wrap your arms around yourself, suddenly feeling exposed and vulnerable under his penetrating stare. " I'm just another pawn in your sick game, aren't I? Another piece on your chessboard to be moved and maneuvered as you please. "

A faint smile plays at the corners of Aizen's mouth, equal parts amused and intrigued by your words. He shakes his head slowly, brown locks swaying with the motion.

"Oh, Y/N-chan, " he says softly, almost tenderly, "you give yourself far too little credit. You are so much more than just another pawn."

He reaches out, fingers ghosting along the curve of you shoulder, tracing the line of you arm with a touch that is both comforting and unsettling. "Your immunity, your resilience, the strength of your spirit - these are not the qualities of a mere chess piece almost exceptional, unique."

Aizen's eyes bore into yous, dark and fathomless. "I do not seek to maneuver you, Y/N. I wish just to understand you.’’

You tense as his fingers trail along your skin, every nerve ending seeming to come alive at his touch.You want to recoil, to put distance between you, but find yourself rooted to the spot, caught in the web of his words and presence.

"Understand me? " You laugh bitterly, the sound harsh and grating even to your own ears. "You think you can comprehend someone by subjecting them to endless tests and torments? By keeping them prisoner in this hell? Don’t try ro manipulate me, Aizen, because it won’t work."

You lean in close, your face inches from his, eyes flashing with defiance and barely contained anguish. "I was exceptional like you just said not just because of my immunity, not just because you decide it."

A slow, appreciative smile spreads across Aizen's face as he listens to your impassioned words. He seems to revel in the fire in you eyes, the passion behind you accusations. Leaning in closer, he matches you intense gaze, his voice low and hypnotic.

"My dear, fiery Y/N, he murmurs, his breath ghosting over you lips, "you misunderstand me. I do not seek to comprehend you through control or manipulation alone. Being immune to my powers is just one aspect of the compelling enigma that you embody.”

“No, what draws me to you goes far beyond that singular trait. Its your spirit, the way you cling to your convictions even in the face of adversity. " You feel a shudder run through me at his touch, at he cold calculation in his eyes.

"Spirit? Convictions? " You scoff, but there's a tremor in your voice that betrays your uncertainty. “What would you know of such things, Aizen? You who would reshape the world according to your ideas, crushing anything that doesn't align with your grand vision?”

Despite your words, you find yourself leaning into his touch ever so slightly, your traitorous body craving the comfort of contact, no matter how dangerous its source. "If you truly wanted to understand me, to appreciate who I am, you wouldn't keep me here against my will."

He chuckles softly, the sound rich and enticing despite the circumstances. His other hand comes up to rest on the small of you back, pulling you ever so slightly closer. "Ah, but Y/N-chan, " he purrs, his voice a silken caress, " everything I do serves a greater purpose. Even your... temporary captivity there is but a means to an end."

His eyes gleam with an inner light, ancient and knowing. "The world we live in is broken—chaotic and dictated by the desires of insignificant beings. I aim to change that, to bring order and perfection. And you, with your intriguing complexity, might just be the key to advancing this vision. "

Aizen leans in, his lips nearly brushing the shell of you ear as he whispers, "But perhaps we can come to an arrangement, hmm? " You swallow hard, your heart racing at his proximity, at the dark promise in his words.

You know you should pull away, should reject his offer outright, but some twisted, unknown part of you yearns to hear more of his twisted logic.

"An arrangement? " you breathe, your voice barely above a whisper. "And what exactly did you have in mind, Aizen? More tests? More... experiments?" Bitterness creeps into your tone. You place your hands on his chest, intending to push him away .

He catches you wrists gently but firmly before you can push him away, holding you hands against his chest. "Now, now, Y/N-chan," he says softly, his thumbs rubbing soothing circles on the inside of you wrists "let's not dwell on past unpleasantness."

Aizen's eyes glitter with intrigue and something darker, more primal. "No, I propose something far more... mutually beneficial. An exchange of knowledge, shall we say. You share with me the secrets of your immunity, the depths of your unique being, and in return..."

He pauses for effect, his voice dropping to a seductive murmur. "I'll offer you a glimpse beyond the curtain, a hint of the power and purpose that lies ahead in your new world."

His words catch your breath, the tempting promise hanging before you like a forbidden fruit. A buried, unspoken part of you yearns to reach out, to surrender to the pull of his vision, his power. Yet the voice of reason rises sharply.

"And what of your free will in this 'new world order', Aizen? "You challenge, your voice trembling slightly despite your best efforts to maintain composure. You lean in closer, your voice drops to a husky whisper. "If you wanted just that by my will, you wouldn’t kidnap me in the first place."

A slow, wicked smile spreads across Aizen's handsome features as you challenges him, clearly relishing the spark of defiance in your eyes. He leans in closer, erasing the distance between you until his lips are a hairsbreadth from yous.

"Free will, Y/N-chan? " he muses, his warm breath ghosting over you skin", Such a simple, human notion. But tell me... "

One hand lets go of your wrist, gliding slowly, deliberately up your back, leaving a trail of goosebumps behind. "...Isn’t the lack of choice just another kind of freedom? A release from the trivial worries and moral dilemmas that weigh down weaker minds?

Aizen's other hand slides down to the small of you back, pressing you flush against him as he murmurs, you gasp softly as he pulls you close, your body molding against his firm contours despite your best efforts to resist.

His words, honeyed poison dripping from his tongue, send conflicting signals through your mind and body but you recoils at the thought of surrendering to him, to become just another pawn in his grand design.

"You're utterly infuriating, Aizen" Your hands fist in the fabric of his shirt, torn between pushing him away and pulling him closer.

He chuckles lowly at your annoyance, amused by you feisty spirit even as you finds youself drawn to him physically.

Aizen's hand at the small of you back tightens possessively, holding you captive against his lean, powerful frame. "Irritation is but a step on the path to obsession, your dear Y/N” he purrs, his lips brushing your earlobe.

His free hand comes up to cup you face, thumb stroking along you cheekbone with deceptive gentleness.

"Your body betrays you, even as your mouth protests. Can you not feel the connection between us? The way we were meant to be entwined - in purpose, in pleasure, in power?"

Despide his words, Aizen find himself drawn to a real connection between you two where he quickly adapt, he nips playfully at you earlobe before soothing the sting with his tongue, his voice a sinful rasp.

You shudder at the sensation of his lips and tongue on your sensitive skin, a moan escaping your throat before you can bite it back.

You try to pull away again, but his grip on your face holds you still, forcing you to meet his burning gaze. "What connection?"

Despite your words, your body remains pressed against his, craving the heat and hardness you can feel even through your clothes. You try to sound firm, but your voice cracks with desire. "This isn't real. It's all just tricks and illusions."

Aizen's eyes gleam with triumph at your confession, his fingers tightening around you chin as he tilts you head back to expose the slender column of you neck.

"Ah, but what if I told you that some of the most potent magic lies in the realm of the heart, Y/N? " he whispers, his hot breath fanning over you pulse point.

With a flick of his wrist, the fabric of you shirt parts, revealing your upper body. Aizen's palm glides over the smooth skin, tracing the curve of you ribcage as he continues, "These cravings, these desires - they're not mere tricks. They're the raw, primal urges that drive us all, stripped bare of societal constraints."

Leaning in, he nuzzles the hollow of you throat, his lips grazing the sensitive flesh. You whimper as his lips brush your skin, your resolve crumbling beneath the onslaught of his touch. Your body arches instinctively, seeking more contact.

But even as you succumb, a part of you resists, clinging to the last shreds of your independence. "No...this isn't right. " you manage to gasp out, your voice strained with desire and anger. "You're just fucking using me"

Aizen chuckles, low and rich, as he trails open-mouthed kisses along the side of you neck. "Using you? Perhaps, in the beginning, I did manipulate events to bring us together, Y/N. But now, I find yourself drawn to you in ways that transcend mere strategy. "

His hands slide down to cup you hips, pulling you flush against him so you can feel the evidence of his arousal pressing insistently against you belly. “You see, your unique properties have sparked something within me - a hunger, a fascination, a deep, primal need. "

Aizen's fingers dig into the supple flesh of you behind as he grinds his hips against yous, the friction sending sparks of pleasure coursing through your joined bodies. " So, tell me, my dear Y/N... do you truly believe you can resist the allure of a god when his gaze is fixed upon you?”

Your legs tremble, threatening to buckle as he grinds against you, the pressure building an inferno between your thighs, almost making you surrender, to submit to the dark desires he awakens within you.

"Aizen, stop.... " You hiss, your nails digging into his shoulders asyou struggle to maintain some semblance of control.

"You may have manipulated our meeting only, but i don’t believe you" you look at him with your mouth slightly open, panting heavy.

Aizen's grip tightens, holding you firmly in place as he silences you protests with a searing kiss. His tongue delves deep, claiming your mouth with ruthless dominance, swallowing your words whole.

Breaking the kiss, he gazes into you eyes, his own burning with an intensity that makes you knees weak. "You don't believe, Y/N? Then let me show you the depths of your conviction. "

With a swift motion, he rips away the remaining fabric of you clothing, leaving you naked and exposed before him. Aizen's eyes roam hungrily over you curves, drinking in every inch of you bared skin. You feel so exposed, but you freeze, his eyes makes you tremble with need.

He reaches down, teasing your thights making you moan, his fingers slowly, teasingly, finding the slick heat between you thighs. A low growl rumbles in his chest as he feels how wet you is, how ready for him.

"Your body tells a different story, Y/N-chan.”

You cry out, your head falling back as his fingers stroke through your dripping folds, the sudden intimacy overwhelming. Your hips buck involuntarily, seeking more of that delicious friction.

But even as pleasure coils tighter within you, a thread of resistance remains, a stubborn refusal to admit. "Its not—‘’ struggling to speak.

Aizen's thumb presses against you clit, circling the sensitive nub in a maddening rhythm that has you panting and squirming beneath him. "Not what, Y/N-chan? "

He leans in, his breath hot against you ear as he whispers, "Is it not desire? This ache between your legs, this yearning for your touch? You can deny it all you like, but your body betrays you."

Aisen's fingers delve deeper, pumping in and out of you slick channel in a steady, driving pace. "Let go, Y/N. Surrender to the pleasure. "

His other hand slides up you torso, palming a breast and tweaking the nipple between his fingers. "You're so close already, aren't you?... "

You moan, your voice a desperate whimper as his fingers work magic inside you, stroking that spot that makes stars explode behind your eyelids. "N-no... I won't... "

But the words dissolve into a gasp as his thumb finds that sweet spot again, sending shockwaves of ecstasy coursing through you. Your walls clench around his invading digits, trying to hold onto him, to keep him buried deep.

When his palm closes around your breast, you arch into the touch, your back bowing off the ground as he pinches and rolls your nipple between his fingers.

The dual assault of sensations threatens to shatter your resolve, to reduce you to a puddle of quivering need.

"I c-can't..." you manage to choke out, your hips rocking frantically against his hand as you chase the crest of climax.

Aizen's smirk widens, his eyes gleaming with triumph as he feels you body start to tremble on the brink of orgasm. "Oh, but you can, Y/N. You will. "

He redoubles his efforts, his fingers pistoning in and out of you at a relentless pace while his thumb works overtime on you clit. The pressure builds, coiling tighter and tighter until it's almost unbearable.

Just when you's teetering on the edge, Aizen slows his movements, dragging out the anticipation until you's writhing in frustration. "Don't fight it, Y/N"

As soon as the words leave his lips, he plunges his fingers deep and curls them just right, striking that magical spot inside you that sends you careening over the edge.

Your scream rips from your throat as the climax crash over me, waves of intense pleasure washing through every cell of your being. You convulse beneath him, your vision blurring at the edges as your body is wracked with the force of it.

Through the haze of bliss, you dimly register Aizen's voice, urging me to let go, to surrender. And as he strokes that perfect spot inside me once more,you feel yourself plummeting into the abyss, unable to resist the tidal wave of sensation.

Aizen watches intently as your body shakes and convulses through you climax, a look of smug satisfaction on his face. When you finally collapses back onto the ground, panting and spent, he withdraws his fingers from you dripping sex with a soft pop.

He brings his slickened digits to his mouth, licking them clean with a relish that makes your stomach twist with a mix of revulsion and unwanted desire.

"Mmm. Your taste is exquisite, Y/N. "

Aizen leans down, his warm breath fanning over you ear as he whispers, "Now, aren't you glad you came to me? I've only just begun to unravel the secrets of your immunity."His hand trails down you side, coming to rest on you hip possessively.

As you lay down, trembling and gasping for air, your body still humming with residual pleasure. Aizen's words send a chill down your spine, despite the heat coursing through your veins.

The way he looks at you, like you are some exotic delicacy he's eager to devour, makes your skin crawl. Gods help you, but you find yourself wanting more of his touch after the orgasm he gave you, your connection palpable.

"S-shut up"

Aizen chuckles low in his throat, the sound sending a shiver down your spine. "Oh, don't be like that, Y/!. I merely stated the obvious. Your body responds so beautifully to mine " He shifts position, straddling you hips and pinning you to the ground with his weight.

Leaning in close, he murmurs against you lips, "Admit it, you crave the pleasure I give you. The way I can make you lose yourself with just a touch... "

Aizen's other hand cups you breast, thumb brushing over the sensitive peak as he coaxes another moan from you throat. "You're addicted to it, aren't you Y/N ?To the feeling of being completely consumed by me?"

His lips ghost across you, not quite a kiss, but enough to leave you breathless and yearning for more.

You whimper, your body arching into his touch despite your mind screaming at you to resist again. The sensation of his lips so close to your again, the warmth of his breath mingling with your own, is almost too much to bear.

"You are insane ..."your voice is barely above a whisper, laced with denial and desperation, beneath your protests, you can feel yourself growing wet again as your core clenching in anticipation of what he might do next.

The rational part of your brain knows this is wrong, that you should fight him off, but your body seems to have a mind of its own, drawn to the dark allure of him .

"If I’m addicted, you are too ..." you manage to gasp out accusatory, your hands reaching up to clutch at his shoulders, holding him close even as you try to push him away, sensing our strong connection.

Aizen's smile widens, a glint of triumph in his eyes as he hears your admission. "No, Y/N. I am simply aware of your desires and unafraid to indulge them. "

He captures you lips in a searing kiss, deep and possessive, his tongue delving into you mouth to claim every inch. As they break apart, panting, he whispers, " And yes, I am addicted... to you. Your taste, your scent, the way you respond to me like no one else ever has."

Aizen's fingers trail down you side, slipping beneath the hem of you shirt to caress the warm skin of you belly. "You're so responsive, so receptive to your touch. It's intoxicating. I could spend eternity exploring every curve and crevice of your body."

Your head spins from the force of his kiss, your lips throbbing where his mouth devoured yours. You are drowning in the intensity of his gaze, the heat of his words seeping into your very soul.

"Why this have to be you…" you whisper, slight anger in your shaken voice.

Aizen tilts his head, a thoughtful smirk curling at the corner of his lips. "Why, Y/N-chan? Maybe it's because we are reflections of one another, drawn together by forces greater than either of us. Two contrasting elements, yet somehow bound in perfect harmony."

He steps closer, his gaze darkening. "Or perhaps it’s because we both seek power, in our own ways. You try to fight me, but deep down, your body knows its place. You can resist all you want, but there’s a part of you that yearns for what I offer—control, surrender, a pleasure that only I can awaken within you."

Aizen leans in, his lips brushing your ear as he whispers, "Face it, Y/N. You were made for me. Every cell in your body sings when I touch you, when I claim you as mine, as my possesion."

You moan softly, unable to suppress the reaction as his hand kneads your breast, sending jolts of pleasure through you. Your resolve crumbles further, torn between the desire to submit to him completely and the desperate need to maintain some semblance of control.

"N-no... That's not true..." You protest weakly, even as your hips press against his thigh, seeking more friction, more contact. You know you should be horrified, fighting against this twisted attraction, but instead, you find yourself leaning into him, craving the sensation of his skin on you, craving you.

Aizen chuckles low in his throat, a sound rich with satisfaction. "Oh, but it is true, Y/N. You can deny it all you like, but your body tells a different story.”

He shifts, pressing himself against you, letting you feel the hard length of his arousal. "See how much your touch affects me? How much I want you? It's only natural, given our connection."

Aizen's hands roam you body, mapping every curve, every dip and swell. His fingers dance along you spine before slipping beneath you hair to grip the nape of you neck. "Surrender to me, Y/N. We both know its inevitable, become mine, completely and utterly."

A soft whimper escapes your lips as you feel his hardness pressed against you, the evidence of his desire fueling your own growing need. Your hands fist in his shirt, tugging him closer, craving more of his touch, despite your mind hating him, repulsing by him.

"Oh my-..." you breathe, your voice barely audible over the pounding of your heart as you arch into his caress, a gasp escaping you as his fingers tease the sensitive skin at the base of your neck.

Aizen's eyes gleam with triumph as he feels you surrender, you body yielding to his touch despite you protests. He tightens his grip on you neck, just enough to assert his dominance, to remind you of who holds the power you.

"That's it, Y/N. Give in to the pleasure. Let me show you the heights of ecstasy only I can reach. " His mouth descends upon yous in a burning kiss again, claiming you lips with a possessive hunger. His tongue delves deep, exploring every inch of you mouth, tasting you sweetness and savoring you submission.

Meanwhile, his hands continue their exploration, sliding down you back to grasp you ass, squeezing and kneading the firm flesh. He lifts you easily, encouraging you legs to wrap around his waist as he walks them backward toward the nearby bed.

Your mind reels from the intensity of his kiss, overwhelmed by the force of his passion. You melt into him, your body pliant and eager, craving more of his touch, more of his taste despide your anger at him, your repulsive attitude towards him and what he represents.

When he lifts you, you instinctively wrap your legs around him, holding on tight as he carries you to the bed. As soon as you fall onto the mattress, he is between your legs and you look at him intense, feeling the deepest of your connection, your mind spiraling with want.

Aizen is panting heavily as he gazes down at you sprawled beneath him. Your legs wrapped around his waist, you chest heaving with each breath, you looks utterly ravished, ready to be devoured.

"You’re even more breathtaking when you submit to me completely. "With a deft motion, he shed his clothes, revealing his chiseled physique, honed from centuries of power and control. Then, he leans down to capture your lips once more, his hands roaming you body as he positions himself at you entrance.

Slowly, deliberately, he push inside you, relishing the feeling of you tight heat enveloping him. He pauses for a moment, savoring the sensation, before beginning to move, thrusting deep and steady. "Ah, yes... "

You moan into the kiss as he enters you, your walls clenching around his thick length. The sensation is overwhelming, both pleasurable and painful as he stretches you open. You cry out softly, burying your face in the crook of his neck as he begins to move.

"Aizen….." Aizen groans low in his throat as your walls grip him tightly, you cries of pleasure music to his ears. He sets a relentless pace, driving into you again and again, each thrust deeper and harder than the last.

"That's it, Y/N... let go. Surrender to the pleasure I give you. "

He captures you wrists, pinning them above you head as he hammers into you, his hips slapping against you with each powerful stroke. The sound of skin meeting skin fills the room, mingling with both of your ragged breathing and muffled moans.

"You were made for me, Y/N. Your body, your soul... they belong to me now.”

Your lost in a haze of pleasure, your body arching off the bed as he takes you with unrelenting intensity.

Each thrust sends shockwaves through you "Aizen! Oh God, Aizen... you feel so good" you tremble so hard for the pleasure, your connection so strong it shocks your being about how you feel around him.

As your cries reach a fever pitch, Aizen's fingers find you sensitive nub, rubbing and circling it in time with his relentless thrusts. He can feel you trembling on the brink of climax, and he knows just what you needs to push you over the edge.

"Yes, that's it... say my name and reveal the depths of your desire."

His words are a husky whisper against you ear, his hot breath sending shivers down you spine. With a final, deep plunge, he presses firmly against you clit, sending you more and more into ecstasy.

You throw your head back, a loud wail tearing from your throat as the intense pressure finally releases inside me. Your whole body seizes up, convulsing wildly as waves of pleasure crash over me

"AA-Aizen!!! " your pussy clenches rhythmically around himas you ride out the aftershocks. Tears stream down your face from the overwhelming sensations, your nails digging into his shoulders as you cling to him desperately .

Aizen watches your face contort in rapture, you screams of ecstasy music to his ears. He savors the feeling of you clenching around him, milking his length as you ride out you orgasm.

"Beautiful, Y/N... so beautiful when you surrender to me. "Still buried deep within you quivering heat, he begins to move again, slowly at first, then picking up sped. He can feel his climax building.

"Give yourself to me completely, Y/N. Let me fill you with my seed, mark you as mine forever."

With a final, brutal thrust, he buries himself to the hilt, his own release exploding through him in torrents. He holds you close as you both shudder and gasp, riding out the aftershocks of your shared climax.

You feel limp and spent, your body still twitching with the lingering effects of your intense orgasm. As Aizen's warm seed floods your womb,you can't help but whimper softly, overwhelmed by the sensation.

You look up at him with glassy, half-lidded eyes, a mix of post-coital bliss and something darker, more complex swirling in both of your depths. Your voice is barely a whisper, heavy with emotion.

"What have i done? " A single tear rolls down your cheek as the gravity of our situation sinks in, you feel so ashmed, vulnerable and angry at yourself.

Aizen's expression remains calm and collected, but there's a flicker of sadness in his eyes at your emotional reaction. He hadn't expected you to feel such vulnerability after their intimate encounter.

"Ah, Y/N, don't be ashamed. What we share is natural, a union of two powerful beings. " He strokes you hair soothingly, his touch gentle despite the intensity of your previous activities.

"Your immunity to your power is a mystery, but perhaps it's because our souls resonate on a deeper level. It's not uncommon for certain individuals to be drawn to each other, regardless of the circumstances. "

Aizen pulls back slightly, gazing at Y/N with an unreadable expression. There's a hint of curiosity in his voice as he continues.

"Tell me…how do you feel about what just transpired between us? "

Your cheeks flush with embarrassment and shame as you avoid Aizen's gaze, unable to meet his piercing brown eyes. You are too anger to yourself for letting you enjoy this.

"I...I don't fucking understand it. How can I be so affected by you, yet remain immune to your powers? It's confusing... " you swallow hard, trying to find the right words to express the turmoil inside you.

Your voice trembles slightly as you continue. "And what we just did...it felt wrong, yet so right at the same time. "

Aizen listens intently to Y/N's words, a thoughtful expression on his face. He reaches out to gently tilt you chin up, forcing you to meet his gaze.

"Wrong yet right, you say? That's an intriguing dichotomy, Y/N-chan. Perhaps it's because our connection goes beyond mere physical attraction or the manipulation of spiritual energies. "His thumb caresses you lower lip with an intense yet possessive gaze, his touch sending a shiver down you spine.

" It’s possible that our souls share a connection that runs deeper, one that surpasses the limits of our roles and purposes. After all, I’ve never felt such a profound bond with anyone else.”

Your breath hitches as Aizen's thumb traces your lower lip, the sensation sending sparks through your body. You stare into his eyes, searching for any sign of deception or ulterior motives, but all you see is genuine interest and fascination.

"How did you know? That you might have this connection to me? "Despite the danger and uncertainty surrounding Aizen, I find yourself drawn to him, craving to understand the enigma that is Sosuke Aizen. Aizen's smile widens, revealing a glimmer of pride and satisfaction."

”It’s quite simple really. I am Sosuke Aizen, the former captain of the Gotei 13 and the mastermind behind the Hollowfication project. Your intellect and strategic prowess allow me to perceive patterns and connections that other miss. "He leans in closer, his warm breath ghosting across you ear as he whispers.

"From the moment I laid eyes on you, I sensed something extraordinary about you. Your resilience in the face of adversity, your unyielding spirit... these qualities resonated deeply within me. "

Aizen pulls back slightly, his gaze intense and unwavering. "But it wasn't until our initial confrontation that I realized the full extent of our connection. "

"So even the great Aizen, the former captain and mastermind, didnt realize exactly the full extent of our connection…" You let out a teasing laugh, almost incredulous. You can't believe you're even here with him, and yet, you're joking around with him.

Aizen chuckles, clearly amused by Y/N's teasing remark. He strokes you cheek affectionately, his touch gentle yet possessive.

"Indeed, Y/N. Even someone as perceptive as yourself can be surprised by the complexities of fate and the human heart. But now that I've acknowledged the depth of our bond, I intend to explore every facet of it. "

His fingers trail down you neck, sending tingles through you skin.

"Tell me, what do you think of our connection? How does it make you feel, being so intimately bound to someone like me?"

"How about we just stay quiet for a moment?" You rest your head against his chest, allowing yourself to relax in his presence.

Even though you still can't fully accept the connection between you two, there's an undeniable comfort in being near him."You are still infuriating just so you know…" you murmur, feeling sleepy.

Aizen's chest rumbles with a low, contented laugh as you nestles against him. He wraps his arms around you, holding you close.

"I'm glad to hear that, my dear Y/N. It means you still retain some of your fiery spirit, despite the circumstances." He gently strokes you hair, savoring the warmth of you body pressed against his, your submission to him.

"Rest now, your dear. We can continue our discussion later when you're more refreyoud. For now, simply enjoy the comfort of your embrace. "Aizen's voice is soothing, lulling you into a state of relaxation as you drifts off to sleep.

"Aizen…sleep with me this time please " you ask anxiously while Aizen's expression softens, a rare display of vulnerability beneath his usual composed exterior.

"Very well. If it brings you solace, then I shall join you in slumber. " With a gentle caress, he guides you to lie down on the soft ground, then settles beside you, pulling you close once more.

"Let us rest together, your dear. May our dreams be filled with pleasant visions and our hearts remain entwined, even in the realm of unconsciousness. "

Aizen closes his eyes, allowing himself to succumb to the allure of sleep, his arm wrapped protectively and possessive around you as you both drift off, almost seeking refuge in each other’s embrace.

[kitashousewife]

“m’gettin sick,” osamu sniffles from his cocoon on the couch. ever since he got home he’s been quiet and sleepy, cuddling up with a blanket despite being hot to the touch.

one thing you’ve learned about osamu, is that he is never sick. ma always joked about how despite every illness that passed through the twins’ schools, teams, or even work; osamu made it out perfectly healthy. you’ve found this to be true. even when you’ve been at your worst, osamu’s immune system has never faltered.

“i can’t be sick,” osamu’s mumbled voice is stuffier than normal, and his nose is a rosy pink. “i got work in the mornin’.”

“not like this, you don’t,” you pour some water from the kettle into his cup and dip the tea bag inside. he waves you off.

“what? just close shop for a day? i can’t do that,” he snatches a few kleenex from the box on the counter, turning around when you raise an eyebrow at him.

“you can actually, and you should.” you slide the tea over to him before heading towards your shared bathroom. “just post something tonight to give everyone a heads up.”

osamu shuffles behind you, tea in one large palm with tufts of kleenex in the other. he huffs when he feels hot once again, flinging off his sweat shirt as quick as he can.

“but kita-“

“kita can deliver to our house, baby. we can bring the rice over a different day.”

you fold your arms and stand by the bath as it fills. osamu copies you, leaning against the doorframe with a pout.

despite being sick as a dog, he won’t go down without a fight. out of principle, of course.

“what about the special i was gonna run?”

“you can do it next week,” you test the water with your palm before adding some epsom salt in.

“what will the regulars do when they head to the store?” osamu puts his palms up dramatically and snorts when you roll your eyes.

“im heading into town tomorrow, i can put a sign in the door. trust me ‘samu, i think they will appreciate you being closed. who wants to eat onigiri from someone with a runny nose?”

he doesn’t say anything. for a minute, you think he’s finally rested his case. after he slips in the bath and lets out a comfortable sigh, he decides to put one last ditch effort in.

“produce gets delivered tomorrow! i have to be there for that!” he’s comically large in the small tub the two of you share, knees folded up as he tries to sink in. you shake your head and he groans.

“fine, fine. okay. i’ll close tomorrow. ya happy?”

“thrilled,” you place a towel next to the tub and sit down. “you need to rest, samu. the shop will be there when you’re better, i promise.”

he pouts again, but this time it’s genuine.

“but i’m never sick,” he splashes water on accident when he leans his head back against the wall. “i take good care of myself! i take my vitamins, drink lots of water, get good sleep,”

your lips tug into a smile.

“and that will help you beat whatever you have even faster. but for now, let’s take it slow okay? get plenty of sleep, heal your body, and stay home.”

osamu nods, and let’s his eyes close. he soaks for a few minutes, relishing in the relief his achey joints feel for the first time all day. while he gets ready for bed, he can’t help but feel his heart swell as he watches you grab extra blankets for his side, knowing he will probably be chilly tonight.

“i’m probably gonna sore with all this shit in my nose,” he sinks under the covers, propping his head up on the extra pillows you set up for him.

“you snore anyway,”

“do not! ya liar,” he smacks your bum when you snuggle up next to him. “don’t touch me, i’ll get ya sick. i’m real contagious,”

you place a big kiss on his forehead before getting back to your original spot.

“i’ll take my chances,” you listed to osamu’s steady heart while he falls asleep. osamu is always taking care of you, grabbing your favorite things from the shop because he’s thinking of you. carrying you when your feet hurt from the heels he told you not to wear, bringing you glasses of water because he knows you aren’t drinking enough, and never asks for anything in return.

“i love ya,” osamu whispers, half asleep and hums when you squeeze him closer.

“i love you too, samu. sleep well.”

[fan-goddess]

MY ANALYSIS OF THAT AEMOND SCENE IN EP 2

A/N: This is not fully proofread but I hope everything makes sense and that credit has been rightfully given when needed. If links are missing let me know so i can correct any mistakes at all.

DISCLAIMER: Now I would like to start this by saying I will be talking about THE CHARACTER mainly but will mention Ewan and Michelle Bonnard who plays the brothel madam purely most likely in regard to their amazing performances in the scene. Though you bet I will be mentioning the horrifying action some people have been committing at the end of this post. Okay? Now let’s begin!

When looking back at when I made the post speculating who the person holding Aemond in that small scene we witnessed in the trailer it’s now come to light that the woman is the brothel Madame whose name I found out is actually Sylvi.

But still, with that realisation looking back at the earlier points I had made through help of other people on this app in the original analysis of the clip of this scene shown in the HOTD season 2 trailer which I shall link here if anyone wished to go read my first thoughts on this as I will be making plenty references from that post mainly in this paragraph/section. First and foremost, I will say while the lady in the scene being the brothel madame was the most likely given scenario given the evidence shown through the various posts theories and leaks, it is still a sad one. No one should feel the need to go back to their abuser, so to witness Aemond be forced to do that is horrible and frankly uncomfortable to watch even for a short time.

But back to the original post, me and @/anjelicawrites discussed how in that scene it seemed that Aemond was finally directly suffering for his actions in the war, AKA killing Luke even if it was on accident which would lead to the murder of Jaehaerys his nephew. As previously mentioned it looks as though he is becoming something that even he said he would never become as he says to Criston when on the search for Aegon so he could be crowned as the king, as Anjelica mentioned to me, that the two of them were people with morals. So by having Aemond go back to the brothel madam and effectively throw away those morals he insisted he possessed, it shows that even he is not safe and that no one is truly immune to the grief of war and that sacrifices must be made by all to 'get through their hardships.' This idea could also be seen in Alicent and Criston Cole as both are sacrificing once key morals they held about themselves to be with each other. (The showing of that definitely surprised a bunch of people myself included...)

When looking back mentioning the limited shown background of the scene in the trailer clip it appears I was correct when assuming it was a brothel. The room is new to us but when thinking about how Aemond went to far as to go back to the place of his abuser and user her for comfort, is it too a farfetched idea to think that maybe that room he is in is the same one he was in at ten and three when he had his first sexual encounter with the madame? Originally the idea when looking back at season 1 Aemond was that he could've gone to the brothel in order to psychologically hurt himself, as when looking at the damage he has caused to his family physical pain especially with the massive amount of physical pain he's been through already, he may have thought that wasn't a worthy punishment. But in actuality now that we know the scenes context we are aware that the reason he went to the brothel and into the arms of the madame was actually for comfort rather than punishment. Plus, with the reveal that that wasn't the first time there, it further cements this idea that Aemond is slowly morphing into another version of Aegon. Though when thinking of the scenes that'll progress in the future he'll slowly morph into his own person with hints of Aegon imbued into him.

That was all the references to the previous post analysing the scene clip shown in the trailer, so now these next sections shall be analysing the scene from only Episode 2 of this season as I am aware there'll be further references to Aemond being in the brothels later on.

One point which I mentioned earlier but would like to bring up again to talk about is the fact that it is revealed by both Aemond and the brothel madame but mainly by her, that Aemond has visited the brothel and by extension the madame more than that time shown on screen. Now when looking back in season 1 where Aemond and Cole go to the brothel in an attempt to find Aegon, we can see that Aemong is uncomfortable being in the presence of the madame. He does not speak to her, nor does he even manage to keep eye contact with her, instead only being able to really look at the floor as she comments about, "How hes grown..." The reference of that comment she even makes in the scene as she speaks while attempting to kiss him, saying "How the boy has grown into a man." With those words in mind we can deduce that Aemond started going back to the madame after that moment and not before. In my opinion, given what service the madame is providing him with, I believe Aemond began seeing her after Alicents reaction to him revealing that he killed lucerys. In the series they chose to not show team Green's reaction to Aemond killing Lucerys, so for the sake of this argument i will imagine that the same reaction was made off-screen. It is said that hearing the news of what Aemond had done, Alicent paled and cried out for mercy from the mother, while Otto told Aemond directly, "You only lost one eye, how could you be so blind?" This kind of reaction that Aemond receives after killing Luke by accident is not what he wanted to hear. After experiencing that type of rejection when he so desperately would want comfort is probably what led him into the arms of the only other woman he knows who has seen him at his most vulnerable. AKA the brothel madame.

But thanks to the shows decisions to suddenly spring the scene on us we will have no direct idea on why Aemond actually chose to go back to his abuser or when it all started which is annoying but is just something we will need to deal with unfortunately whether we like it or not. I saw a post by @/aemondsbabe where they responded to an ask talking about how sad it is that Aemond was self soothing and finding a form of comfort with the madame, and they made an interest point where they mentioned how 'him going back to his abuser for comfort does draw interesting parallels with rhaenyra and daemon though!' which is actually a really interesting take. As yes, Rhaenyra did go back to Daemon for comfort during the time when her inheritance and her sons legitimacy where called into question especially since Laenor except publicly claiming the boys as his sons did not do much to dispel the rumours. So when facing that challenge Rhaenyra goes to who she knows best, who just so happens to be her abuser. The parallels in this season are genuinely insane and I can't wait to see what other stuff they'll add later on.

Now onto the actual scene itself! One thing that was brought to my attention as I had actually missed it the first time I watched it, is the pouring of the milk the director used to bring us to the brothel scene. At first i had assumed it was just another alcohol, but when it was pointed out to me by another tumblr (The user i cannot remember given that since then there's been a lot of people discussing this aspect of the scene) I cannot help but think even when it is a small thing it adds so much more depth to the scene when you think about it. It adds that extra layer as it brings more to the light Aemonds needs in that scene. Aemond from what it looks like in the scene age regressing himself to a younger point in his life and the use of the hot milk emphasises that. It does not mean Aemond necessarily is attempting to make himself into the age of that of an infant but from parallels i've seen from multiple gif creators, it looks as though Aemond is attempting to go back to the time of season 1 episodes 6 and 7 when he is around 10 years old with both his eyes and without the trauma given to him by Aegon and the brothel. The milk may just be used as a method to get his mind to revert to that younger state. Though I must confess that in some certain fanfics I have read here (I shall not name specifics but they were all delicious) where the milk was used to stimulate the idea of a lactating women, by having the milk be pored onto the breasts and having Aemond drink it up. Though since we did not get a sexual variation of the scene, the only reasoning that Aemonds brothel visits may turn sexual being that when the brothel madame goes to kiss Aemond on the lips he moves away with a noise saying "not here" suggesting either for another time or it could mean he keeps putting off any suggestions for his meetings with the madame to turn into anything sexual. Aemond wants to stay in this childlike mindset for the whole time he's there as that is how he is dealing with his grief and his emotions since he cannot find a way to deal with it in any other way. If he turns the whole thing sexual he looses his outlet which defeats the purpose of it all.

Another aspect of the scene that i want to explicitly talk about which I did actually mention in my original analysis of the clip in the trailer is the positioning that Aemond is in. The position Aemond first was in with his head by the madames curve of her neck actually is a direct parallel to how Alicent holds him after Aegon Jace and Luke presented him with the pink dread and in retaliation to that attempted to visit Dreamfyre and see if she had laid any eggs for him to get his own dragon for himself. I cannot take direct credit for seeing this given that it was by @/emmaziadarcy and their post showing the parallels more clearly than anything I had originally thought about further cementing this parallel for me. This also supports the idea that Aemond in the brothel is age regressing as he's trying to appear himself as being younger while using the madame as a surrogate for Alicent. Just as he does at Driftmark soon as he looses his eye with Alicent, he places his head in the curve of the madames neck therefre showing that its a motherly affection and love he is craving and not something that is primarily sexual as far as i am aware since we have not really been seen anything that directly shows it. As far as i could tell the only real sexual thing I have seen/have seen talked about between these two characters is some boob touching/sucking and some naked hugs/cuddling.

One other position Aemond gets in with the madame is the one that we saw in the HOTD season 2 trailer, which involves Aemond after refusing to allow her to kiss him moving so his head is now on the madams lap and his body is curled into a fetal position close to her. This position is what I discussed in my original analysis post, where i talked about how given with how he was sitting it suggested intimacy bordering even on motherly, which is exactly what Aemond was attempting to achieve by having himself in such a vulnerable state before this woman posing as a motherly figure for him. The rest of that section was me discussing about Alicents reaction to the news of Lukes death and how after killing him, Aemond would no doubt want a comfort for the guilt he no doubt would be facing after being forced to realise that he is the definite reason for the dance of the dragons to kick start. So naturally after not being able to find that comfort with the person who had been most likely to give it to you, you find a worthy enough surrogate. Which in Aemonds case became the brothel madame, the reasoning for as i previously stated earlier, the reasoning for which is unknown.

The fact that even when Aemond has been shown to be Alicents favoured child between her four he is still feels like their are certain things he cannot say or actions he cannot show with his mother, who through season 1 was shown to provide him with affection and favouritism given that he was the only child of hers who felt like hers, is sad and honestly heartbreaking to watch unveil onscreen. Plus as well after reading @/humanpurposes post talking about their thoughts of Aemond in episode two, (the link found here if you want to go read)they spoke about how they found it interesting how Aemond doesn't have many moments with his family even after the death of Jaehaerys, making them think that Aemond fundamentally sees himself as an outsider. This makes sense as Aemond even says that he saw himself as an outsider on the lap of the brothel madame. Ewan says in an interview somewhere that Aemond saw himself as an outsider as a child being the only one at the time with no dragon and finding and connecting with Vhagar who was a dragon all alone. Ewan also says how 'he never really felt that unconditional love from anyone really, maybe finding it in Vhagar who is an older she-dragon or maybe he found it in the madame. In a way he’s just a broken boy needing to be fixed and someone’s going to help him'.

The things Aemond talks about are even similar to that of a child as well, as he attempts to brag about Daemon seeing him as a worthy opponent. Let me remind you he is in the lap of a whore who he has almost definitely needed to pay for to get the service of, and yet he still feels the need to brag and try and impress this woman, similarly to how you would brag and get attention from your mother. He says these before admitting to regret killing Luke and opening up about his sad childhood involving the bullying and how his younger nephew used to tease him. He puts these harsh walls up immediately almost in a strange attempt to remind the madame who she has in her lap. But literally as soon as she reaffirms his beliefs by saying Daemon has a right to fear him, Aemond moves into the second position where he does not need to look at her like he did in the starting position and he himself knocks those walls down by admitting to the things above. He checks he's safe in the environment and then lets it all out to his surrogate. It's these details that do keep me impressed though I am probably just easily swayed when brought face to face with Aemond.

An aspect I noticed from the scene and have yet to notice anyone else talk about this, is that the Madame almost doesn't seem to know how to handle this side of Aemond. In brothels the kind of men who most likely visit are the ones who just want a quick fuck or just any sort of sexual encounter, so that is what the ladies are trained for/expect for. But Aemonds thing doesn't really involves sexual encounters as far as we know. His thing is just wanted the comfort that comes with sex without the sex part. When watching the scene I noticed her facial expressions as soon as Aemond began to divulge in his personal stuff, which to me said that while she knew what she needed to do exactly in the physical side of Aemonds delusion she needed to think on the spot for how she needed to say things for the speaking side. As most of the time the speaking side involved saying what the customer needed to hear which usually involved sexual undertones, but as I press Aemond isn't looking for pure sexual comments he is looking for comforting words that would mimic that of a mother speaking to her beloved child. When he talks of Daemon sending the assassins she is in thought about her words speaking simply so she can get on with the convo, she doesn't look at him when he speaks on that even thought that probably is what she should be doing but as soon as he says something she can focus on talking about such as Daemon being afraid of him she can look at him and say the things she knows he'll want to hear. Which in that case was confirming how he's a worthy foe and how Daemon should be afraid of him. Only this is when she makes the mistake of going with the teachings of turning the conversation sexual as she repeats the similar words she spoke in season 1 episode 9 about how 'the boy has turned into a man', which is just another way of puffing up his ego and making him feel good about himself. Though Aemond deflects this tactic as he wants to stay in the headspace of a different time and changes positions so he cannot see her, yet she immediately moves how he wants her to be and touches him in ways he'll let her. As soon as he mentions Luke she looks shocked and barely moves in an attempt to think of how this'll play out and how she'll need to adapt to this situation. She does not speak out of turn until he speaks so she knows the rules in which she needs to follow and when doing so she'll know what to say to make him a happy customer who will return with more money. Soon as he says his regrets she moves into a more nurturing position and says words that'll make him more happy, saying she's glad to hear he's sorry for his actions which humanises him to himself which Aemond will no doubt have been glad to hear rather than be called all sorts of names from his other family members who still believe Aemond killed Luke on purpose. She pauses again hearing about Aemonds bullying but this is what intrigues me. She says, "I would remind you only that when princes lose their temper, it is often others who suffer." I had to think about this for a minute as to me she's saying how Princes do not get punishments for loosing their tempers but others, which in this case Luke is the one who suffered and even his whole family suffered as Aemond was not their while Jaehaerys was slain in his bed. She pauses before continuing in her words, as she needed to gauge his interest to see if she was permitted to still speak about this topic. But in her next words she just says "The smallfolk... like me" This seems to be the worst wording she could use at that time as she has officially at that moment to me broke the daydream Aemond had about what he was doing by reminding him where he was and who she was. He was in a smallfolk brothel laying on the lap of a brothel madame who was just a smallfolk whore. Not in his chambers being comforted by his mother. I don't even know why she said those extra words as was she trying to day the smallfolk like her suffer? Were there extra words to the sentence the scene just didn't show us? Either way those extra words confuse me.

An article I think will be quite informative to read is linked here, and it details about how sex within the world of House Of the Dragon mainly in this season is used as a form of power. One of the examples they talked about is Aemond which is why I desire to mention it in a special reserved section. The article talks about how we see Aemond using sex as a means of control by going back to the woman who took his virginity as a child after being paid to do so by Aegon. And while we don't see them actually having sex, only the aftermath, it's only then does Aemond admit to his guilt showing it's only after sex that he feels vulnerable enough to utter this. Further more in the post they write, 'He clearly thinks he cannot show this side of himself to his family, so he seeks out someone with no connection to the Targaryens or Hightowers, and seemingly very little influence.' and it makes a lot of sense for this to be the case, especially as she reminds him at the very end of the scene that she is just a smallfolk with no importance who will not allow his secret to be revealed as he could just have her simply killed and not be directly forced to pay the consequences. Another quote from the article that just makes just so much sense for me is this. 'By sleeping with his first sexual partner again, Aemond is also reclaiming a sense of control that was initially taken away from him. His first encounter with Sylvie was nonconsensual (certainly by today’s standards), but by going back to her on his own terms, he ensures that neither Aegon nor Sylvie wields any power over him. Aemond drives the transformation of their relationship, which gives him space to be more than just someone's protector.' THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT IS HAPPENING WITH THEIR RELATIONSHIP!!! HE IS MAKING SURE NO ONE HAS AN UPPER HAND ON HIM AND WITH THE MADAM THAT IS BY USING SEX AS A POWER TOOL!!! I will leave this section with yet another direct quote from the article (please read it it's so informative it really opened my eyes.) 'None of these characters stare hungrily at the people they’re having sex with. Instead, they look at their lovers with a sense of despair, as if the act and who they’re doing it with brings them pain. Yet when they’re over, Alicent, Criston, and Aemond leave these encounters with their backs held a bit straighter, as if, in these hidden encounters, they have regained a sense of control in their lives that continue to unravel under the weight of a war.'

All this next information was provided to me from a post written by @/thephantomphonecase who was answering an ask about how the writers for this season seem to have lost Aemond. I shall link the post here for you to read in full. According to them the possible reasoning as to why Aemond to you may not be acting as his season 1 self is because during production Condal and Hess were replaced by a showrunner from the crown as they missed script deadlines season 2 production from months due to the fact they couldn't finish the scripts in a timely manner. 'The things you are seeing on screen are a jumble of Condal and Hess's ideas patch worked by someone who knows absolutely dick about ASoIaF or the characters beyond what he read in the show bible.' He was also brought in as a sort of fixer to get production back on track and to script doctor Condal and Hess's work on the scripts, so if the characters don't seem to act the way you are expecting them to act or the way they acted in season 1 then it is due to the fact they were rewritten and doctored by a person who the studio paid to take over for incompetent producers and who doesn't know much the characters or the books lore. The reason the ghost showrunner was brought in was because of his experience writing royal family drama and the team green family were based on them British Royal Family dynamics of the Royal House of Windsor, with politically and public relations minded patriarchs and cold detached matriarchs that don't know how to show love included. So while certain scene acting is really great the lore and the characters are off because he doesn't know anything about the characters beyond from what he's seen in Season 1, and read from Condal and Hess's rejected scripts and their show bible.

The performances from them both were phenomenal though overall as it's with these small extra details the actors make that keep me intrigued and watching eagerly for more. The body language the two made when shooting this was detailed and wonderful and was successful in making this scene what it was intended to be. This was not some lovey dovey romantic meet up between lovers this was intended to be disturbing for viewers as they watched Aemond repulse away as soon as the moment became even inherently sexual moving and speaking like that of an exhausted child as that is what he is! Aemond is technically meant to be 17 years old which in this modern day is a child, who has never been taught how to safely navigate through his emotions while also piloting a fucking humongous war dragon bigger than anything ever. He is a child craving his mothers love and Ewan captured that brilliantly. Michelle Bonnard playing Sylvi the brothel madam was brilliant too in her own performance as she nailed the looks the hesitations the way she spoke all of it seemed natural and like how a woman who has been constantly fighting against men bigger than her who say! She is wonderful in being able to hate the character like many other amazing actors who managed to achieve that same task! We know jack all about her yet she has told us so much in such little time it's astonishing! I could not commemorate these two enough!

Now. The bodyshaming. It's disgusting to say the least that those who oohed and awed at his body in season 1 now that his body has been shown nude on camera have decided to do a 180 declaring his body words and phrases I shall not say on here. Ewan choosing to show his body was his choice and from seeing 'High life', another movie Ewan did in 2018 we saw he doesn't mind showing a little skin in front of the camera (a lot more skin in episode 3 i'll tell you that!) Still, by him showing himself off means he is comfortable enough to do that. So by calling him awful names, comparing him to awful things and just being awful cunts means we are betraying that trust Ewan has given us. Ewan could go back into the dark as his mental health could be affected by this attack on his body. Not Aemonds body but his, as funnily enough EWANS BODY IS AEMONDS BODY. I've seen some people saying excuses and that his body is due to CGI work. But since Ewan is a method actor and we've heard nothing of any CGI, I'm gonna say it's probably not been used. It was a deliberate choice on Ewans parts as the idea was brought to my attention by @/feralsaarebas that the choice to go that thin for the role/scene was, '100% a deliberate choice to highlight the sheer fragility of him beneath at all. How he was never able to grow or flourish in his environment and is in a way stunted and malnourished.' and I agree! (Their post linked here as they had other things to say I just didn't add) It is another layer of Aemond Ewan has added which honestly is such an interesting detail people may have missed as they chose to ignore it and instead focus on taking the piss out of him. It's overall disgusting behaviour and it's a horrid thing to have to witness mutuals and those I follow who i thought also adored Ewan make posts denouncing the character and make fun of him. Just because Aemond didn't turn out like how you thought he would, like some sort of daddy dominating bdsm king, doesn't mean you get to shame how he and the script people have decided to go with the characters future breaking your dream about him. It's stuff like this that makes me think about why this fandom has turned so sour so quickly.

I hope people found this post informative and have a lovely day/night. Thank you to all those whose posts I have managed to compile to make this post and to all those who encouraged me to write this. There were so many more I could've probably added but didn't get around to adding/fitting in.

[orangez3st]

What actually happened to Rex's batchmates?

Here's my take on this, because atm I'm writing a fanfic about Cadet!Rex as well so I'm appealing for his fanon cadet fate.

I respect both "Rex's batchmates are all decommissioned because the whole batch is defective but Cody and the others saved him so now he's got PTSD from child ab**e" and "Rex got bullied because of his mutated blond hair" fanons (uh hey where did this begin? Had those been widely accepted headcanon that it became fanon eventually? I'm revisiting this fandom and am just stepping my foot into the fanon so maybe safe to say I'm kinda-but-not-really new) but... Hear me out.

(Future me, approx 2 hours after starting this post: okay this post turns out to be so long you might wanna sit down)

Disclaimer again; I don't hate those fanons but it's kinda bothersome to me (so cruel omg idek if he'd been really strong for, what, just 10 years haunted by child ab**e trauma, based on majority fic depiction? and said trauma lasted into the clone wars even? uh, really? more in 10) that I've pieced the puzzle myself on how one may approach this matter from another angle.

Facts i (we) know about clones

As far as we know, they have batchmates and squadmates.

Not only are they genetically engineered with accelerated physical stamina, they are also capable of withholding more stress than the average natborn. This is due to the fact that war soldiers generally suffer PTSD and the Kaminoans wanted to create Tupperware clone army. Thus, to a certain extent, genetically, clones prove to be more emotionally stable – mind you, that doesn't mean they're not immune to PTSD and other related traumas. There were clones who defected from the army just because they couldn't handle it anymore. As cruel as this might sound, yeah; there's something wrong with their programming.

There are 3 known mass-produced clone types: CT (Clone Trooper), CC (Clone Commando), and RC (Republic Commando). Each type is made? cloned? bred? separately. Obviously.

Clones are engineered to be obedient and submissive to order and structure. CT has the most extreme levels of this alteration, meanwhile CC has less, due to their supposed strategic position in command they have to adjust to every possible scenario thrown at them, eventually concocting tactically effective battle plans.

Mutations and defective traits are different. Mutations are uniquely positive and genetically induced or by experiment, while defective traits pop up due to poor maintenance or accidents. Kaminoan scientists are willing enough to tolerate mutations as long as it causes no further problems (like Blue Eyes), while they deem the ones with defective traits totally unfit for combat (like 99).

So, to stress and/or narrow them down:

Clones, regardless of type, are capable of handling more stress and adapting to situations quickly.

#GodlikeKaminoanEngineering (or so they say): Nothing wrong with programming = wouldn't suffer trauma and/or related disorders. (Idk if this hypothetically would apply irl. If there's any legit research about this particularly, point me to the journal article lol I'd love to check it out tho I'm not a huge bio fan. Intriguing all the same.)

Nothing wrong with programming = wouldn't defect. Clone Force 99 is a special case, though. (This point is completely unrelated to Rex but I think still worth mentioning)

CT's aren't that much capable of putting all hands on deck in strategy talks (that's what the CC's are for). All they know is to wait for orders from command and follow them thoroughly and make sure the job's done. However, they may or may not develop those traits themselves and finally take initiative basically becoming a kriffin badass CC intern, like Rex.

Genetic mutations, as we know or may assume, consist of change in physical appearance. This could mean lighter skin tone, not-Jango-Fett eye color, or not-so-Jango-Fett hair color. This is due to recessive genes. Jango's sister Arla has natural blond hair, you guys.

Therefore, from my perspective, Rex is in possession of genetic mutations and definitely not defective traits.

Combined with his standard CT emotional intelligence, excellent combat skill, his (pre-Skywalker) undying love for order and structure, and if not little acts of valor that undeniably has to show during his cadet years (I mean it would carry on into his ARC training and first months of the Clone Wars that he's given jaig eyes), I see no reason why he would be bullied and shunned by the rest of his batch.

If any, they regard him with so much respect because he shines – gloriously – throughout his training and essentially be the local pride. He's their brother, after all! Their vod! That's how he would've caught Cody and the other's attention too.

☝🏼🤓 I do accept the fanon that he's a batch behind them. I can't think of a reason. Might as well be freeform. And it's cute.

So.

That's the baseline, for clones.

Now we move on to the man himself.

(on gif above) That is so Cody-coded, Rex.

(1) Decommissioned batchmates

Tbh not sure what being decommissioned means, but given the generally grim and threatening implication that it strikes enough terror and neck-breaking amount of trauma to Rex of this fanon, it's gotta mean being terminated(?). Correct me if I'm wrong, but for now I'm rolling with that.

Rex exhibits excellent capabilities on field during his training that it easily captures his trainer's attention. A transfer to the CC command training sounds possible, I think, since y'know, Ponds is a CT as well and I'd like to think he's above Rex that the rank Commander is permissible for him (yes yes Rex is given the Commander promotion but he turned it down because he favors fighting up in the front with his men I am a firm believer of this as well). So he just gets separated from his batchmates and situated himself in the new brotherhood.

Also here's my baseless debunking because I just don't know any of those biology-related stuff.

I just don't think every single of his batchmates are so defective that the Kaminoans pulled the genoc**e card. It's just... Not possible. Math and probability, anyone? Hello?

Assuming the only reason for being decommissioned is for possessing defective traits so bad that it's worse than 99, the Kaminoans have no excuse to pull the genoc**e card just because a clone gets blond hair instead of Jango's black hair. As much as I support them being the most ultimate of assholes, I don't think they'd waste resources just like that.

So, in conclusion of this one; I think not. Rex's batchmates are very much alive and well and kicking droid ass during campaigns :)

(2) Traumatized Rex

Fanon: Rex with child ab**e trauma and, in conjunction, PTSD because he witnessed his batchmates get decommissioned.

I shall assume he carries this trauma even to the Clone Wars period.

Oh hang on, okay, he's defective because he's traumatized? Or is it the other way around; he gets traumatized that it somehow affects his already-defected emotional intelligence? What about his coping mechanism, is it defected as well? If the decommissioning of his brothers affects him so much he couldn't cope and carries with him the trauma, I don't think he'd be fit to go further since the start, or even earn those jaig eyes.

One thing about Rex is that he's brave. Since we're working with existing materials to create this headcanon, and that the jaig eyes itself is important, the jaig eyes still gotta be there. He earns it because he commits acts of valor in the battlefield – because he is a man of honor. Rex is very much aware of his emotional state, aware of the proper time and place; when to break down and when to put on a strong façade, because he's that selfless. He puts his men first. He cares about his men. He regards every single troop as his brother. First in, last out. An inspirational figure with strong will, always trying his best being the prime example and morale to his men.

Aside from the genetic stress inhibitor traits, Rex is a strong man, physically and mentally. In line with my previous point about how implausible and improbable it is that every single of his batchmates gets decommissioned, with this fanon scenario, I don't think Rex would be some guy who easily succumbs to trauma. He'd push on through and survive, and lo and behold. Canon-wise, he does. Still does.

(3) Why is he bullied 😭

My poor little meow meow of a heart can't take it. I don't know what this version of Rex is supposed to be bullied for? But if it's because of his blond hair IT'S NOT DEFECTIVE TRAIT it's genetic mutation. Even the majority of the clones sport black hair and brown eyes Jango style and only some of them sport brown hair or lighter, and even fewer of blond hair. And the Kaminoans allow it, as seen in 302.

Look at him he's precious. Some may think he's overrated, but he's just being him. No wonder he's majority's favorite. So with all that said, I rest my case.

Sorry that took so long and much of your time, but for my part, I'm glad I got those out of me. I might write my Rex and the other's headcanon in the future. Mentioned I'm writing a Cadet!Rex fic, so there's the link, if you're interested.

And don't get me started with the natural vs dyed blond thing. I'm a firm believer that Rex is a natural blond, and I've written the reason somewhere above.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk. You may use this headcanon in your adaptations if you'd like. Cheers!

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

can i BE honest (yes)(i do not possess the ability hold back)

Well actually i did kind of move in silence for 5 months so maybe thats incorrect but it was reall y hard. (Kinda, it was fun in its own way). Basically i am writing to say I finished my EP like it's literally done but now i am in a dilemma because I don't know how to share it. Despite my best efforts to hype myself up i feel nervous and afraid. it makes me feel really sick! And people may think i'm a person who wears their heart on their sleeve I guess in most situations i do But to share something i worked so hard on feels mercilessly daunting and nauseousssss

i don't think i ever worked so hard on (One) complete thing in my life. I have made a lot of art and taken a lot of photos and even recorded a few singles I have finished a lot of projects I am serious about finishing what I start it causes me great turmoil not to finish things. But this is the longest i ever worked on something. And now I don't know what the fuck to do! it's been finished for like a week. I can't even bring myself to re-listen to it because im fucking SICK of hearing it haha even though i like what i did. i find it to be acceptable. But im horrified at the same time.

i think part of my fear is that i feel it does not really exist within the requisites of any pre-existing genre so sometimes i wonder "Who the fuck is this even for". its a limitation within my mindset i want to release. Maybe I shouldn't be sharing these kinds of insecurities but also i don't really like to project the persona of someone who is immune to self-doubt because i don't rly respect one-dimensional caricatures of deluded confidence. No offencseee. I like ~vulnerability~ yeah yeah we all know that, whatever. Plus i am planning on deleting this post when i wake up so who cares. Nightposters trust pact

i like vulnerability but i dont want to be vulnerable in sharing my hard work xD how do i get over this xD i dont like self promo xD i dont even want to be "me" i dont want to be anything i just enjoy making music its really fun i dont know how i would've coped with the past 5 months since Pochita's accident if i didn't bury myself in music and let it take up all my mental space i just want to have fun i don't like the parts i don't like. Hmph. it would be silly not to share it though i know it would be silly. Why do i care....

[mcflymemes]

THE PRINCESS DIARIES & THE PRINCESS DIARIES 2: ROYAL ENGAGEMENT PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue from both films (2001 & 2004)

the brave may not live forever, but the cautious do not live at all.

wait for me! wait for me!

anyone can see your desires. no one knows what's in your heart.

you are so lucky you don't know who your parents are.

i am invisible... and i am wet.

i'm just supposed to watch you.

am i too late to ask you to accept my hand in marriage?

you broke my glasses!

don't worry about me.

a princess never chases a chicken.

this really is more romantic in books.

oh, by the way! i'm getting married!

you're not very good at lying.

i thought you'd never ask.

oh! oh yes! i absolutely accept!

somebody sat on me again.

we just made the bed.

tell me a secret.

i have done a lot of flying in my day.

do we have any problems?

you'll never be bored.

i loathe you.

no matter how many times you press that, it will still go up and down the same way.

i just love to look at him.

you look so... clean.

can you please pretend you have a life for just one moment?

just in case i wasn't enough of a freak already, let's add a tiara.

this is between a waltz and a tango.

we don't slump like this.

tell me your greatest desires.

i thought you said you never slide.

if there are no more passengers, i think we should close the door.

this is getting us nowhere! talk to me!

are you sassing your grandma?

courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something is more important than fear.

i have never put on pantyhose before, but it sounds dangerous.

why me?

yeah, he's cute.

shut up!

look out the window.

as always, this is as good as it's gonna get.

don't forget your shoes.

i haven't danced with you since your birthday.

you're morphing into one of them!

probably all i ever do is think about myself.

i can't do this.

i have diplomatic immunity in 46 countries, including puerto rico.

i love your eyebrows.

you can't run from everything?

i simply cannot condone it.

love does things for reasons that reasons cannot understand.

hang up the phone!

the secret is... i still want to.

the fault was entirely my own.

i'd like to report an accident.

the three of us have to talk.

what am i, a duck?

my job is to protect the crown.

stop daydreaming!

oh! your foot! i'm so sorry, are you all right?

i hate it when they move in like that.

is there maybe something else about me and my life that just maybe i might want to know about?

this is so cool!

now what did you want to tell me?

just stop it, okay?

you will answer directly to me.

are you sure you don't want to exchange licenses and proof of insurances?

he's not a backstreet boys clone.

i don't like you.

i look like a moose.

well aren't you just... crafty.

i've got a wedding to go to.

wait wait! no, not you. i don't even know you.

can we park a block away from school?

you know what? i don't feel protected.

you will find the word "fear" is not in my vocabulary.

i won't be getting married today.

oh my god! you're here!

i beg your pardon!

oh, for the love of god!

why do you talk like that?

is your mom dating an undertaker?

you look so... young.

can i borrow a comb?

oh, yeah, that is exactly what you did.

i know it's short notice, but you were all dressed.

so where are you taking me?

who destroyed you?

just because i didn't get my fairytale ending doesn't mean you shouldn't.

not if you didn't want me to.

they're smitten!

well, that probably wasn't the best idea.

you look ridiculous. you should sue.

have you ever experienced that instant headache when you eat ice too quickly?

just because your hair sucks, get off mine!

do you wear contact lenses?

i would gladly take a bullet for you.

look over there.

is this the punishment for driving without a licensed driver in the front seat?

you broke my brush.

so what are we learning today?

did you happen to see who's here?

you talk to him much?

well, the camera's all ready to go.

let's go this way.

ever take those shades off?

are you ready?

enough bowing! back to your chores!

no more straggling for me.

you did very well. very charming.

the light is perfect!

i'm feeling shy, come on.

you chose me, and i accepted.

did you hear that?

do you have any change?

no, it's not attractive!

okay, i look like an asparagus.

where is she going?

if this were my party, we'd be kissing by now.

they put me on hold!

we never rush. we hasten.

you know what? i'm fine! i'm good!

a strange woman came in here and asked to hide in your closet so i let her.

should i shoo him?

[pinkaditty]

How have you been doing, pink?? Are you recovering well?

Also I saw your tags in that one thing we did abt things we could talk abt for an hour and I almost forgot to ask: how did you get into gyaru??

hihi aya i am recovering well!! not in much pain anymore besides my legs bc they were nearly crushed in the accident but im otherwise okay! my immune system is total dogshit though so i was immediately hit with a bad cold after most of my pain had left and im STILL recovering from that cold. im so tired of being ill

and please call me mal or malibu, ur a trusted moot atp

also i read ur tags on ur post 4 the same thing and im soso curious. please. what do u know about celtic mythology....

anyways. me yapping about how i discovered gyaru. sorry! tw 4 mention of racism.

im just gonna immediately dive in2 the gyaru thing: it started when i was in my first year of college. i hadn't learned of it earlier and almost every day i wish i had discovered it sooner but so be it! i think it was in a random twitter thread about j-fashion that caught my interest. iirc gyaru was the most interesting out of all of them so i decided 2 do some more research on that one.

relevant background: by this point in my life, as all late teenagers do, i was working on completing the mesh that was supposed 2 be my sense of self and i hadn't really decided on a style that was perfect 4 me. i had styles i liked and disliked but nothing that really felt "perfect". i had robbed myself of allowing myself 2 be girly in most of grade school out of the internal need 2 be "different" and simultaneously being depressed, so i was going through my fashion discovery phase a bit late.

anyway, upon going through threads abt gyaru, i found myself just wanting 2 try it out 4 fun. id found myself more attracted 2 girly things lately, so it was hime gyaru that caught my eye first. as cool as yamanba, tsuyome, and ganguro seemed, i just didn't think i quite fit the bill 4 those, so i half-heartedly settled on hime gyaru. the label of gyaru felt right, but being hime gyaru in specific didn't feel like the best-fitting glove 4 me. this is why 4 the first month or so of being in2 gyaru, i wasn't super emotionally invested, but i found myself wanting 2 start anyway. my wardrobe slowly shifted and began 2 include things along the lines of hime gyaru outfits, which were cute! but after a while grew old far quicker than id anticipated. at first, i was dissatisfied, thinking that maybe this was just a fashion phase. despite that, i still decided 2 stick with gyaru, because i liked it, but i still couldn't put my finger on what substyle suit me best.

i should probably clarify that the reason i wanted 2 stick with gyaru so badly was probably because of the history i had found behind it after some digging. gyaru was inspired by many, many things, but an important factor was the style of western african american women in the 70s-80s. bold makeup, long nails, showy clothing, and lots of accessories were in pretty strongly then, considering the surge of black pride after the jim crow era. as a black woman myself, i was immediately inspired. it can be hard 2 interpret when you've never experienced it firsthand, but an entire life of rejection, assumption, and limitation simply due 2 a feature about your skin that you cannot control really sucks, so i, at that point, was also learning how to take pride in my own skin after years and years of being subjected to questionable, at best, and abusive, at worst, treatment from my surroundings. i was totally in awe that something made by people i descended from had become so popular that it inspired one of the biggest J-fashion movements ever. plus, i liked the droop makeup. it was a cute twist. and something really filled my heart upon discovering that japanese women created this style 2 break free from limiting beauty standards. no more conforming. no more coloring in the lines. they wanted 2 escape, and that was admirable. i wanted 2 escape, too.

after a while, a switch flipped. im not sure how or when or why, but a switch flipped. suddenly the girly, frilly, cutesy vibe of hime, roma, and himekaji no longer attracted me. i wanted bold colors, bold nails, bold makeup, and a bold attitude. i wanted 2 do away with the classic girliness of hime and instead veer towards more crass, wild, and colorful styles. "get wild and be sexy" was all i thought about. i wanted 2 get wild and be sexy and stop conforming 2 whatever the white-dominated society of america deemed appropriate. and suddenly! my favorite substyles were yamanba, ganguro, banba, tsuyome, and onee! suddenly i wanted 2 tan my skin a bit more! suddenly i liked hibiscus flowers and plumerias and wanted them in my hair! suddenly my favorite braiding hair color was blonde! suddenly i had the confidence 2 wear bikinis! it was like a tidal wave of change. once the wave had cleared, it had left an entirely new beach in its wake, and that beach was me.

2 be honest, i think the switch was triggered by realizing i didn't have 2 conform 2 the girly standard if i didn't want 2. i could just. be me. and accept the truth that it didn't matter if people liked me or not. at least i was being me.

not much else 2 tell besides that! i changed my wardrobe, started getting long acrylics (i can't function now if they're not xtra long), practiced makeup, decorated my room, changed my attitude (this took some time), and changed the way i type! the whole reason i use "2" and "4" is 4 the sake of the 'textspeak' vibe and because it's cunt. that and i use a lot of gyaru language, but with my friends specifically. im working on integrating it in2 my general lifestyle.

i still have a lot of steps 2 take, but gyaru lives in my head at this point. its been 3 long years of self-discovery, and each step has been perfect. this style is perfect. even before i discovered gyaru, when i would do my makeup 4 fun, i would draw my eyeliner downturned and connect it 2 my eye, like a droop! in a way, it was meant 2 be.

anyways that's that. i promise there's more between the lines here but im tired and its late and i wanted 2 get this ask out b4 too long. just know that if there was a gyaru version of the scarlet rot that Melania from Elden Ring has, i would have it. if you want more details, feel free 2 ask, but they won't be answered immediately... still writing a romeo x reader fic in which he teaches u makeup and that's currently sucking up most of my commitment.

[bcbdrums]

🍄🍬🌿🧩 Truth or Dare!

"🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings"

uhmm... hmmm... hmmm... i don't think i can pick one pair, lol. i'm gonna pick. a few.

i'll preface this by saying i'm a canon purist 99% of the time, so when i have a headcanon, it's because i think i can defend it very well with evidence from the source material.

Star Trek - Jim and Spock share a mental link that was created by accident and allowed intermittent empathy/mild telepathy of both a conscious and subconscious nature. this is evidenced in several episodes, but a particular moment on the bridge in The Immunity Syndrome is my solid basis for this. (I promise I'll keep writing "Always Will"... Star Trek is the fandom of my heart. I'll come back to it. I promise.)

Kim Possible - (angst alert! tw: infant death. tw: child death. tw: miscarriage. i hope i did that right...) Drakken and Shego had twins that didn't survive. The event brought them closer together and made them re-think their priorities... This is post-canon when they were dealing with the good vs. evil issues already, and the only thing they knew for sure was they wanted to be together. This event also led them to realize...they want to be parents. (Yes, my fic "Rekindling" is in fact, headcanon...)

Soul Eater - I haven't posted a fic about this one yet so I'm leery to share it... But a story is already in the works. And I'll be very, very vague... Stein's "experiments" on Spirit were extremely mild and rapidly turned into something else... Something Stein was doing to cover for Spirit, to protect him from something else going on in his life... And that's where I'm leaving that because I want it to be a surprise when I post the story! But a couple people I've told might guess this, heheh. (No title for this story yet... Titles are my worst enemy.)

"🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character"

Spirit Albarn did not cheat on his wife. 😎 I'll die on this hill. In a diff post than the one I link, I compared him to Greg Universe (of Steven Universe). The authors present both as characters you want to hate, who you question, who look like lousy fathers. But slowly the story starts to unfold and you realize...there's more here than what was presented on the surface. And maybe the surface was a lie all along. I use that comparison because most people seem to get it with Greg. But only a few people get it with Spirit. That's fine. It's my headcanon; it doesn't have to be yours. And I enjoy other ppl's headcanons very much. But you did ask.

"🌿 ⇢ give some advice on writer's block and low creativity"

this is where the whole... 'write for yourself' thing, comes into play. i've actually seen a lot of tumblr discourse about this recently... write for yourself! people say. but, we share creations out because...we want people to see them. we are writing for ourselves, and then sharing them...

here's what i'm learning. my motivation to create has to be for myself, in the grand scheme. it's fine to create things here and there for others. and i personally love gifting fanfic. but if your goal when you go into creating is... 'i'm going to tailor this story so this person will like it,' or, 'i'm gonna post this and i can't wait till this person comments!' that's when you're in danger... you're not creating for yourself anymore. now your satisfaction is going to come from...what that person thinks, whether or not they comment, how deep is their comment...

your satisfaction has to come from responding to your own creative drive.... i suppose that's where the advice starts. make sure your motives are in the right place. and... hey, if the creativity is sated? allow yourself to rest! as i'm writing this (it's being queued so, not coming out near the same day it was asked), my writing well is a bit dry. you might want to create, and feel bad you're not doing so... but it's okay to rest! if your mind just wants to daydream but the hands don't want to write the story or draw the piece right then... just let yourself be. allow yourself that space. i think you'll find creativity is better for it in the long run.

'but i'm worried my followers will be disappointed?' now, there you're not creating for you again... if they're friends, they'll still be there. if they're just...a random number in your stats, then again... your motives aren't in the right place. i'm a firm believer in...don't base your self-worth on internet stats. it's just not something i can get onboard with. your value is not determined by number of views, comments, reblogs, etc...

"🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?"

ahhhh hmmm.... i haven't done any immediate clicks in awhile. i'd say if something squicks me pretty suddenly. but blessedly, with AO3 tagging, i can often avoid accidentally running into those things.

wanna be clear though, writing is in art itself and sometimes... well, i'll give an example. i read a fic not too long ago with a twist ending. it is the sort of thing i would not have read had i known. but, had they tagged for the twist it would have ruined the story. so i was not bothered by the lack. i personally would have done the same. am i haunted by what i read? yes. but storytelling is its own art and well...yeah. it's not like in picking up a physical book we're gonna get the tag warnings.

that was slightly off topic, uhhh... i think mostly just if one of my squicks shows up i'll click away. something that's not my thing. and depending on how good the fic is, i'll try to push past it. but if it keeps happening... like there was one long, long multi-chap where main char was kidnapped and tortured and my poor li'l happy-ending heart didn't realize until i was fairly deep in that the whole point of the fic was torture that just got worse and worse... closed that one, never finished.

oh okay but one thing... if a story is VERY out of character, then i'm not interested. like.... the whole point in fanfic is to see more of the character so if it doesn't read like them, then... yeah. that's actually probably the most immediate thing for me. i can handle poor grammar and formatting and english-second-language writers and new writers who are learning the craft... all of that is fine. long as the character is in character, i'm pretty game to read most things.

thanks for the ask!!!!

[ratt-fried-this-pasta]

Napoleon Crossing the Alps , painted by me

Start Date: December 22, 2022 approx. 21" x 17" , acrylic + dry watercolour paint , on the back of a cardboard lego box

( art process + close ups + catpoleon in the keep reading )

Day 1 stuff

The idea actually started in my history class after my final exam, I sketched Napoleon Crossing the Alps in my history notebook and showed it to my teacher and he liked it so :D I also had a fever while painting this bc my immune system SUCKS but I'm okay now! ( i think?). Funny story, if you look at the picture of my art layout on my bedroom floor, the paints that I used were the watercolour tube thingies that you are supposed to mix with water but I thought they were acrylic so that's why it came out a different texture. So if you actually touch the painting, his face is softer than the rest of the painting, which is pretty cool thinking back on it. This was my first time painting so I didn't have a set up or anything so I just took the floor as a space :0) I also finished a base layer of paint the next day

Face close up

I'm actually really proud of the face because it somewhat resembles him... i think. The hardest part was the area around his eyes since the colour always came out too dark or too saturated and stuff. This was the part I used watercolour paint for on accident so I was able to just smooth it out with my fingers and I ended up practically finger painting the face. Also i practically bs-ed the nose and the mouth. I didn't know how to draw either of those things because my former art style was very anime inspired so I would just draw a line and call it a day. I still haven't gotten down how to draw a mouth or nose but it's fineeee

Shiny Jacket Things (idk what they're called)

THESE THINGIES ARE THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE– literally in the painting, their location is kind of vague so I practically came up with my own pattern. I'm not even sure if I painted this correctly. I started with a yellow but it didn't look shiny enough. But literally a week later I found metallic acrylic paint which is AWESOME so I used a copper colour over the yellow and then added some white for the shine. If i ever paint Napoleon again I literally might just not paint these.

The Cockade

I'm actually really proud of this! This was on the day I found my metallic acrylic paint. I actually did each colour separately so I started with red, then blue, then white, then yellow. The hardest part was painting in the shadow of something that wasn't even on the canvas yet haha. Even though it's not shiny in the painting, i wanted to give it some luster to stand out against the plain black hat so I lightly went over some areas with my metallic paint :D

CATPOLEON >:D

I made the ears in the colours of the french flag on purpose hehe. So i was in my room doing homework and being bored and I thought to myself, what would cheer me up? And the little voice in my head said to put cat ears on Napoleon so I did it !

Final Thoughts: I think I did pretty well for my first painting! I had literally no idea what I was doing and honestly I think there's something wrong with my paint, but I literally got them at a craft store so that's probably why. Next time, I will not drink the paint water out of curiosity and I'm not gonna paint on the floor since I got paint on my floor. But overall, I'm proud of myself and that's what really matters :D hope you all like it too!

[jacky-rubou]

Any commentary to share on "He Signs I Love You"? That story got me right in the heart </3

sure i do!

i find giving my favorite characters disabilities they don't have in canon to be fascinating to think about, one of the reasons I had the idea for that fic in the first place.

At first, I wondered about having Ford become paralyzed after Crampelter knocked him around too hard when he was a kid, but having it be Stan during the Portal fight felt better plot wise. also didn't know how I'd work it out if he was paralyzed that early.

There was a point where I debated making Ford's traumatic brain injury be bad enough to give him semi-permanent amnesia they'd have to work through, but I wanted him to know most of what was going on so i just didn't go through with that.

I believe I made Ford mute and not able to write well enough to be legible anymore because I wanted it to be a little more difficult for him to tell Stan about Bill. Also because I couldn't leave the idea of Ford using sign language with his six fingers and everything. I thought the idea was neat.

I did kinda want to make Ford feel a bit more angry about what Stan did to him (on accident, but y'know), but i think i was a hair too worried about accidentally coming off as ableist to go through with it properly. also i was having a hard time making Ford as angry as he should be because i'm so biased when it comes to him. if i were to rewrite it, i would probably make the process for Ford reconciling with Stan take a little bit more time. i'm trying to do better with this in my Blind!Ford au haha.

there was so much I researched for this fic, it's crazy. I wanted to be as true to the experience of being disabled in the way I made Ford disabled as an able-bodied person as myself could possibly write. I may have fallen short in some aspects, but I swear I was trying. I hope the research shined through in my writing.

a scene I wanted to do but ended up not doing was Ford trying to wash himself in the bath but worrying Stan enough for him to try helping. But it felt awkward by the time I would've gotten to that so I ditched it.

When the kids come to town, I wanted them to find out how Ford got paralyzed by finding the basement and seeing a bit of dried blood where Ford had been injured on the controls and asking Ford about it. But I was too writing exhausted at that point to even try it, plus I didn't think it would fit. In the au canonically, I think they just spotted scarring on the back of his neck and head and asked about it that way.

Having Ford pass away at the end was not part of the plan. I was initially just gonna give him a regular boring happy ever after ending, but it felt a little unfulfilling somehow. I had the idea to end it like this because I remembered something about paralysis weakening the immune system and potentially shortening the life span of those with the disability. Also the angst was too perfect to ignore. And I think it worked out pretty well. I feel it works just fine in this au.

that's pretty much the basics of what I want to say commentary wise. if there's anything specific about this au or another fic you want the director's commentary that you're curious about, feel free to send in another ask about it. thank you for the ask and hope you like my commentary here.

[organchordsandlightning]

Noble Bachelor, Part 3

can’t sleep! cannot focus on projects. curling up in bed and liveblogging letters from watson

It was after five o'clock when Sherlock Holmes left me, but I had no time to be lonely,

(a) “what do you do when holmes goes out, watson?” “wait for him to come back”

(b) holmes left him alone with supper for minimum 3 hours. i don’t know what i’d do in that situation. your roommate orders enough Uber Eats for five people. you definitely aren’t inviting the neighbors over. maximum, the case you’ve undertaken brings the count up to four, and that requires bringing a lady back from the presumed dead. the pheasant will go bad. what do you do.

"It is the purest accident. I cannot allow that there is any humiliation. "

it is kind of sweet for holmes to reassure a guy he clearly has boundless contempt for

The lady, I think, you have already met."

“I think” god bless

So then I promised to wait for him to the end of time and pledged myself not to marry anyone else while he lived

sigh. i am not immune to extravagant love confessions

"I saw it in a paper," explained the American. "It gave the name and the church but not where the lady lived."

you know, that is awkward. i can’t blame the guy for just showing up at the church

So Frank took my wedding-clothes and things and made a bundle of them, so that I should not be traced, and dropped them away somewhere where no one could find them

FRANK YOU THREW THEM IN A LAKE IT TOOK THEM A DAY --

"Then I trust that you at least will honour me with your company," said Sherlock Holmes. "It is always a joy to meet an American, Mr Moulton, for I am one of those who believe that the folly of a monarch and the blundering of a minister in far-gone years will not prevent our children from being some day citizens of the same world-wide country under a flag which shall be a quartering of the Union Jack with the Stars and Stripes."

holmes immediately like ‘case done. how is frisco, anyway? you guys have time?’

being fortunate enough to find the loving couple at home, I ventured to give them some paternal advice

awwwww. it is interesting that he gave them some advice without ever bringing up Flora (that is, the lady doesn’t seem to know much about her when she recollects her side of the story), so it didn’t seem too much like ‘heyyyy, if you don’t have this excruciating conversation, a woman might die for it’

Draw your chair up and hand me my violin, for the only problem we have still to solve is how to while away these bleak autumnal evenings."

cute 🥰 this one was fun!

[indieninja92]

i saw this post on twitter and was so pleased to see it cross-posted here as well, i think it makes some really vital points about the episode!

it also made me think a lot about my reading of the episode and i hope its alright to pick up some of these ideas and turn them over/explore a bit? to emphasise, this is in the spirit of readings from other perspectives, not "this is right, this is wrong"!

first of all, the point about the anti-racism in doctor who being shallow really hits the nail on the head. you can make as many "anti-racism" episodes as you like but when your entire writing room is white, it rings very hollow indeed.

i think though that one of the tensions here is whether you read this as a white writer trying to tell a story about experiencing racism as a person of colour, or whether you read it as a white writer writing about the complicity of white people in racism.

as this post articulates really effectively, white people arent racist by accident, or because they dont know thats what theyre doing. theyre racist on purpose, by choice, because they benefit from racist structures and have a vested interest in maintaining them. it's also easier for white people to be racist than not - its the path of least resistence, its the default. in contrast, it takes active, intentional work to be anti-racist, and that anti-racism is only borne out in action - you can't be passively anti-racist within racist systems and structures.

i felt that the episode captured that feeling. the people of finetime want the path of least resistence, they want to do things the easy way and be led by the structures they choose to live in. theyre racist on purpose, because it benefits them, and its easier for them, not because they're stupid.

similarly, i didnt read lindy as being a bimbo as much as an embodiment of white women's belief in their own victimhood, their complicity in violence while refusing to take responsibility for themselves. she wouldnt let her bubble down because it was upsetting, it made her cry, it wasnt nice! never mind that it was reality and it was hurting people, what really mattered to lindy was that she was upset.

wrt the goofy tone of the episode, i think that really worked in its favour as a way of demonstrating how easily white people fall into the exact same patterns as the finetime citizens. it was easy as a white person for me to miss a lot of the microaggressions, and to let myself not ask questions about what was going on, and let myself be led by the hand and enjoy myself. which i think goes to my point about this being more about white people's experience of complicity than people of colour's experience of racism. dot and bubble is easier to watch if youre white, and i understood that as being part and parcel of the point it was making.

i also didnt read the all-white cast as a "ha your bias is showing" thing, or that the historical whiteness of DW undermines the episode. for me it drives it home more, it's DW criticising DW, saying, "see how easy it is for us to accept a DW ep with all white people? how fucked up is that?" i think the episode was more in conversation with that history and using it to criticise itself rather than being undermined by it.

at the same time, like OP says it necessarily rings hollow wrt the all-white writers room. you need to be perfect to criticise your past, but it doesn't make sense to do that when youre still making those same mistakes! im also absolutely not shocked to hear that white fans are reading ricky as being somehow immune to the society he was steeped in, and i wish the episode had demonstrated more that he's as much a part of this world and upholding those ideas as anyone else.

the decision to have 15 begging to save the finetime people was certainly... a choice. i wish there were enough people of colour, specifically black people, specifically black men, involved in doctor who - both in front of and behind the camera - so that 15 could be read as 15 and not as a stand-in for black people/men in general. unfortunately thats not the case so we can't talk about whether it was in character for 15 without talking about what it means for a black man's anger to be refused its proper time and expression.

that makes me think as well about the point re. the lack of racism in the 1960s episode. 15 has to be "the black doctor" so every time he's in a historical place and setting where that would be difficult, the writers are going to have to decide whether they want to engage with that or not. and, being white, they're likely to choose not to. they're also likely to keep putting him in situations where he would, historically, realistically, have faced prevalent racism, because they're defaulting to white narratives of history. thats not something thats going to change until they get black writers and other writers of colour into the writing room, and start taking the stories and voices of people of colour seriously.

(Reposting from twitter)

My POV as a Black fan that thinks Dot and Bubble's racism commentary is trash

Rewatched Dot and Bubble and I'm gonna break down from my POV as a Black fan why this episode didn't work for me & why it's an awful racism commentary. Long arse post incoming:

The whole "You should've noticed the cast was all white except for fifteen ha your bias is showing" doesn't work for a show that's been predominantly white for 60+ years. D&B casting has been the default for most of the show so its not abnormal enough to be a racial litmus test. An example is the Matt Smith era The only reoccurring character of colour in s5 (2+ appearances) is Liz 10. Artie n Angie in s7. 0 in s6. RTD's own era isn't fully safe either. For many eps Martha or Mickey are the *only* Black characters. Most POC are side characters or extras.

White fans should be aware of the predominantly white casting of the show but this late in the game feels cheap. Most of the show has gone through 100% white episodes including fan faves and it was never an issue back then bc it was beneficial. This is so hollow. Representing racists as cartoon caricatures SEVERLY underestimates the danger of white supremacy irl. White supremacy is system designed and constructed and rebranded over centuries. It is not accidental. People aren't racist bc they don't know they're racist because they *do* They know the system that oppresses POC, Black people especially, benefits them socially and financially and that is why they participate. Its not stupidity it's intention. That should've been the Finetime core not Lindy goofing around bc the arrows are gone or some shit.

Human Nature showed us racist young people that exercised this power bc they knew this. They may be children but they are still dangerous bc of their views. Martha knew this. The silly tech obsessed gen z angle erases this danger and that of actual gen z white supremacy

Instead of the camp goofy tone we could've gotten a serious focused episode. The slugs and millenial/gen z social media silly distracts from what could've been the main theme of colonisation instead of saving it for 10 mins of exposition at the end & scattering microaggressions. Saving Fifteen's racism scene for a goofy episode was a horrid idea. Spending 30 mins on representing racism as silliness then giving a dramatic dangerous score is the definition of tonal whiplash. Representing his oppressor as a blonde bimbo again does not take this seriously. Fifteen went to 1960s BRITAIN & got through it unscathed. Finetime is a fictional futuristic land but the racism of 1960s Britain was real. If anytime was right it could've been Devil's Chord. Distancing yourself from a panto villain is easy but addressing your history is hard.

The scene itself is incredibly performed so I'll give Ncuti his flowers but what he used this skill for could've been so much more. Having his FIRST SCENE begging to save a racist is disgusting. It isn't Black people's responsibility to show compassion to people that want us dead. Yes the Doctor helps the baddies bc they care. But they're aren't ignorant to prejudice. The liberal anti racism of who is so jarring and why I still think Thin Ice is performative. When white people are angry at injustice it's radical. When it's Black people we're aggressive.

Respectability politics is a tool of white supremacy. That if one pleads and is nice enough they can earn liberation. What would white fans think of Fifteen if he DIDN'T beg Lindy? If your allyship with Black people depends on showing kindness to racists you are NOT an ally.

Next up is Ricky. It was established ALL Finetime citizens have white supremacist views yet Ricky September stans refuse to see him in any negative light. Just like Joan Redfern white dw fans refuse to see racism if a character is likeable. If nice guy Ricky's a racist, then anyone no matter the niceness can be racist too and that's a pill white fans aren't ready to swallow. If racism is systemic and not about individual character, then what's keeping them safe? What happens when YOU are under the microscope.

THIS is why we NEED Black writers in Doctor Who. The nuances, depth and complexity of the Black experience can only be told at it's best by Black creatives and not guessed, assumed or spoken over by white fans and white writers. It's okay to put ego aside and say you don't get it.

"Im white but I loved the Doctor's reaction" "I'm white and i thought the racism commentary was great" "I'm white but i-" Yet again, we have to sit through another round of white and non Black fans of colour dictating Black representation for us. I'm so fucking tired man. AGAIN IM YELLING FROM MY HILLTOP TO WATCH SHOWS BY BLACK WRITERS. Almost EVERY single theme in Dot and Bubble and frankly most of the show has been done WAY better in other media. RTD is not the authority on Black stories. We are. Always have been and always will.

Tl;dr Dot and Bubble is an unserious and tacky racism commentary. It's core message is drowned by more RTD Who camp. Don't tell me this episode was good at representating my own experience. It wasn't. S15 having Black writers isn't a need it's a must. Goodbye.

[alexander-deserves-to-die]

Boke Pieces Storytime

I have realized that I have only written this in my diary; The first night I stayed up until sunrise by accident and had a forty minute trance because of it.

This story begins with an old habit that I acquired during the Easter holidays of this year 2023, which was basically reading frerard fanfics and staying there until three or four in the morning, it was entertaining, on the second of those nights I found a fic which I started reading and I didn't like it, but there was another version that was something similar to a "good ending" of that fic. On April 8, Holy Saturday, my curiosity got the better of me and I sat in my desk chair, recharged the computer in my oil paint case so it wouldn't explode, and started reading that "good ending" called BROKEN PIECES. I started reading it around four in the afternoon, so I thought I would finish reading it early, we know that didn't happen, I got so deep into the story, I was so into it, it seemed like I was hypnotized by how good was that fanfic, so that when I finished reading it I didn't even see the time, I looked up from the computer screen and looked at the window, witnessing one of the most beautiful sunrises I have ever seen in my life.

I clarify at this point that my happiness for this happening was because since 2021 I have a kind of goal of being awake as long as possible, if it was possible not to sleep at all.

At that time I was taking a treatment to strengthen my immune system, it was something called "transferon" or something similar; When I finished reading the fanfic and saw the sunrise, I waited a few minutes to go down to the main room of my house, I went out to the patio to process what had happened. And there I was, walking in circles (or I would say in a line back and forth) remembering and internally commenting on the fanfic. The story was great, everything that surrounded the fanfic.

A long time later I had breakfast, because I had to remain fasting for up to an hour after drinking the dose of the treatment that I mentioned, and as I mentioned, when I started reading the fanfic it was Holy Saturday, therefore at this point it was already Easter Sunday and Since I have a religious family, I was forced to listen to the Easter mass (which by the way was longer than the conventional ones) trying not to fall asleep. When I finished mass, I went out to the patio for a few minutes again and fell asleep for a very short time on the grass. It was clear that it was my first time without sleeping a full night, so my body was melted and I decided to finally take a short nap. in my room. I remember that I played mcr's boy division out of alarm XD.

After waking up, my brother called me to eat, and since I was downstairs I took the opportunity to go to the bathroom, so I took off my bracelets for hygiene, I went back up to my room with the bracelets in my hand even without them. Put them on and when I got to my room I closed the door and sat on the edge of my bed to put on my bracelets. I was looking at the floor, and while I was putting on a bracelet I think I fell asleep, but what scared me was that I saw three weeks of my life go by, lived, every day, every hour, every minute, every second and when I woke up suddenly, I was quite disconcerted to see that he was still sitting on the edge of my bed with my hands in the position that i was, putting on my bracelet. I looked at the time on my cell phone and only forty minutes had passed. Still quite dazed, I went down to the first floor, wet my face so as not to fall asleep again, and again went out to the patio to reflect on what had happened. To deal with the feeling I started cooking rice pudding, I made myself some coffee and when I finished cooking I went back up to my room. I remembered that that day (April 9th) was Gee's birthday and I made a drawing about it. After that, and to keep my mind busy, I dedicated myself to drawing ghosts for the rest of the afternoon.

These two events have been extremely relevant in my life for several reasons, and I can even say that I am quite fond of them. Anyway. I hope this anecdote was at least entertaining :D

-xoalx

[missvifdor]

FOR SHIFTERS WHO WANT TO GO IN A SUPERNATURAL DR:

_If a Shapeshifter takes on my appearance during a hunt, it has my appearance and my memories but in no way combat abilities comparable to mine nor the information I have shift in this reality. He is much weaker than me in terms of power and ability.

_I know how to use any weapon at my fingertips with deadly precision.

_I am not afraid of the paranormal.

_I am incredibly stealth and quiet when needed.

_I know how to play the comedy perfectly when it is necessary to investigate a case or lie. I just know how to be very credible and put my shyness and my anxiety aside thanks to my incredible coolness.

_I know how to speak Latin perfectly and practice exorcisms successfully in all circumstances.

_Seeing blood, corpses or serious injuries does not make me afraid or sick. I know how to keep calm.

_Whether in my pockets or in small bottles, I always have holy water or salt hidden on me in my clothes.

_I make the best pies in the world (This one's for Dean, let's make the poor boy happy with real homemade pies made with love ☺️).

_Coming across nudity or sexual scenes suddenly at random if I'm ever hunting with the Winchesters or anyone or I come across one of the brothers "busy" with someone doesn't bother me at all, I'm happy to apologize and act like I never witnessed this in the first place. (Yeah... Let's be careful when we go hunting with these two... but especially with Dean 😬).

_If I wear a skirt or a dress during a fight, it is impossible for the others around me to see my underwear or my chest completely bare by accident or on purpose (If it were possible, I'll wear cute dresses and all in all seasons, all the time and the hunt isn't going to stop me from wearing what I want ).

_It is impossible for me to find myself in an embarrassing or embarrassing situation or to say or do something embarrassing or embarrassing.

_I remember every detail and thing loved by my DR loved ones around me, be it a subject, a book, a movie, music or food. I just remember it, which is very practical when I want to please them.

_A single punch from me can knock out anything or anyone for several hours without causing major physical or medical damage, which is very handy.

_I always know the references when talking about a book, music or a film.

_It is impossible for me to reveal compromising information about me or the future that I know of Supernatural via the series in my CR.

_I know how to take care, clean and sharpen my weapons automatically.

_ It is impossible that I am possessed by a demon, an angel or any creature in any way whatsoever.

_I am immune to all kinds of trauma whether physical, psychic, mental or emotional.

_No one, not even a being on earth or even God (Chuck) can know that I have Shift or that I come from a another reality.

_I appear in the Supernatural books written by Chuck in my DR and I am one of the favorite characters of all the fans. There are even fan-made ships featuring me and other "characters" that have super cute couple names. But fan-written ships are never awkward or incestuous (especially not between Sam and Dean) (or me and Bobby) and there are also fanfiction and one shots written about us by fans, there are XReaders writes with me (I'm too curious for my own good...)

_It's impossible for Chuck or anyone else to get hold of my scripts for Shift by any means. It's just impossible for him to have the same access for Metatron or anyone.

_Chuck can't send me back to my CR even though he knows I'm shifting. And Sam, Dean, Castiel, Jack or anyone else doesn't believe it if Chuck says I'm not from their universe, they immediately think he's lying.

_Absolutely no one or anything can read or see my mind.

_I am immune to all kinds of manipulation, whether physical, emotional or mental.

_Metatron has no control over me even when he becomes powerful enough to become God.

_Angels and demons cannot know that I have Shift.

_I cannot become a vampire, a werewolf or anything even if I am bitten or infected.

_My hair remains perfectly healthy and does not die even if one day I decide to dye it in another color or bleach it in my DR.

_All the colors that I decide to dye in my hair look great on me. And I never miss a dye, it's always the result I was hoping for.

_No one questions my personal and family history in any way.

_I can't get sick or catch sexually transmitted diseases under any circumstances (Yeah.. you never know and I prefer to be careful thank you very much...).

_When Dean becomes a demon or when he bears the mark of Cain does not scare me and I can easily control him when he becomes violent and reasoned with him. He means me no harm, he wants to keep me safe and away from his madness.

_If Sam gets possessed by a demon or when he becomes addicted to demon blood, or even when he has no soul at all, I always manage to control him and his powers have no harmful effects and / or standing on me.

_I never drink alcohol because I find the taste absolutely disgusting but alcohol has no effect on me. It is impossible for me to be drunk.

_I have eaten a lot or have a bad diet, but I always stay healthy and my body always stays in good shape (I know that when I am hunting with the guys I will not always have access to a kitchen so that I can cook myself but eating fast food all the time isn't good for my health either. But after all, that's just my personal opinion).

_If I ever fall in love with Sam or Dean or anyone in my DR, it is absolutely not visible even for a very attentive person. I just leave really, really subtle hints of that particular affection in my body language, my looks, or my mannerisms. Signs of this kind of feeling would only show up in me after a very, very long and careful observation of my behavior by a person who really knows me very well like Bobby. If I'm jealous or sad that I'm the person for whom I have feelings is interested in someone else or do not make me my feelings, I do not give the impression and I look as normal as possible. I know how to keep smiling and act like it doesn't matter to keep our relationship good

_I am immortal. I can't die in any way. Or if so, I come back to life and in good health after 13 days or less with always a logical and rational explanation or circumstance in full possession of my capacities. (You know how to if it is common to resurrect and I "resurrected" as much as boys are not suspect or want to eradicate me because they think I'm a kind of living death! 😬)

[sleepisaturn]

an angel at the bus stop [ 2/8 ]

pairing—steve rogers x barista!reader

summary—the origin of the yellow umbrella and the lost notebook that get's returned

warnings—this is all just pure fluff, dorky Steve and the he has lots of anxiety, Steve's a dumbass, this guy was and is definitely accident prone

a/n | I think I have a kink for meet-cute scenarios (╥﹏╥)

I don't like using y/n so I used the name Sunny for introductions

this is so cheesy (ノಠ益ಠ)ノi h8 myself

dude Tumblr did something weird and the words went to different places so i hope nothing's wrong since I fixed it now ⊙﹏⊙

❥ owner of a lonely heart

Steve's in bed wide eyed without a single ounce of sleepiness in his mind, maybe he just didn't want to sleep as he kept changing his positions on the bed that felt too soft. It felt like he’d sink any second, like laying on a bed made of marshmallows.

He secretly didn't want to sleep because if he did, he'd dream of all the things he missed.

He'd dream about the life he could have had before the serum, the war, and the sleeping for decades.

Most nights he'd have nightmares, specifically about Bucky, his best pal falling off the train a million times and every single time he's reminded how he couldn't save him.

Bucky would never want him to blame himself of course, but his thoughts can't help but drift to how he was finally a hero but he couldn't even save his best friend.

He'd also have the usual dream about the bar, surrounded by the Howling Commandos as he and Peggy finally have their dance.

He'd cling to the memories he had like it was yesterday because it was—for him all of it just happened recently, but decades had passed and he can never go back.

He had enough and decided to just sleep on the sofa as he watched the rain drizzle against his window on this lonely Sunday night. 

His thoughts drifting back to you, he was consumed by the memories of that afternoon that you gave him free dessert and how he feels like he knew you.

Then it clicked like a light bulb above his head dinged, he did know you! he met you, a week before meeting you at that small coffee shop. 

Just like the night he met you, it was raining. heavily 

flashback in Steve’s POV 

He met you after leaving the bus stop and that was the story of how a bright yellow umbrella currently rested at the side of his front door.

The rain poured violently as Steve walked away from the bus stop after being dropped off, he waited a couple minutes hoping the weather would get better but alas it unfortunately didn't.

As he realized he'd just have to walk home completely soaked, he groaned as he decided to use his brown leather jacket as a makeshift umbrella. How badly he wished he brought one as the rain continuously poured down on him. He was used to it though, he was a soldier and the war didn't pick a weather.

He didn't walk too fast, not taking the chances with the slippery road. He didn't worry much about getting sick because the serum had strengthened his immune system.

His day was honestly going badly. He still hasn't grasped the concept of electronics yet and he had just received the files about Peggy , the Howling Commandos.Oh! and his microwave broke–just great. He had to go out to eat which led him walking home soaked from head to toe. 

… and then he met you, probably the only good thing about his day

As he walked the side of the empty sidewalk lit by the lamp posts that stood a few feet away from each other, there you were, your figure blurred due to the rain drops that went in his eyes. 

He blinked the rain drops away to see you better, you were wearing a simple white dress that glowed against the dark street and as he observed you more he noticed the sunflowers around your dress. Your white dress and bright smile could've fooled Steve that you were an angel. 

What made you stand out though?

the obvious big bright yellow umbrella that is.

Weirdly the scene that played Infront of Steve seemed magical, majestic even. You probably didn't notice him as you walked right past him. The five seconds of briefly seeing you, he already wanted to see you again.

He saw your bright smile as your hair was slightly damp. You were smiling as you walked barefoot, probably towards the bus station he just came from. You were holding your heels in one hand as the other tightly clutched the umbrella.

Steve stood still for a couple seconds mesmerized by you. You were like the sun in the middle of all the rain, literally. You looked like the sun in Steve's eyes that night. He was snapped out of his thoughts as he hit the lamp post a bit hard, he clutched his nose groaning in pain, from the hard pole and his stupidity.

He suddenly felt the rain stop and as he glanced up, a yellow umbrella came to sight. He looked to his side, and there you were the girl that caught his eyes looking at him worried. He snapped out of his thoughts when he saw you were waving your hand in front of him.

Great, you just saw the mighty Captain America be the biggest idiot in the rain. 

“ DUDE YOU OKAY? didn't catch a concussion did you!!???! DO I CALL 911!? “ you exclaimed in panic as he remained silent, watching your movement as you quickly tried to grab something from your pocket

“ hey! im okay—im fine, thanks “ he said forcing a smile with a slightly reddish nose and a flushed face hoping to keep you calm

“ HEY! you can have my umbrella, I’m waiting at the bus stop and you seem like you need it “ you declared probably pitying him as you pat his shoulder

He was mentally facepalming himself for looking like a complete idiot in front of the beautiful dame in front of him.

“ you don't have to,truly im fine, miss “

“ it's fine you can have it and i hope your nose is fine “

before he could refuse you already ran away towards the direction of the soon arriving bus, using your hand to shield yourself. You momentarily seek protection from the rain at the bus stop he previously was at.

“ THANK YOU! “ Steve yelled from a distance and saw you turn around to smile at him with a small wave of a hand before you boarded the empty bus and left. He was gonna run after you and maybe strike a conversation, seeing as you stayed at the bus stop temporarily but quickly backing out because of fear that you'd think he was a creep.

He smiles at the memory of you and the umbrella you gave him. Maybe he had to thank his stupidity sometimes. If it weren't for the physical evidence of your umbrella in his apartment, he'd think you weren't real. You felt like a fragment of imagination , maybe caused by hitting his head on the lamp post that night. 

end of flashback

He didn't know what to think of the fact he met you again. He never thought out of all the people who worked in the shop he went for coffee, it would be you who’d make his coffee. He thought maybe it was fate, a brief chance of luck. 

All he could do was smile as he thought of how he'd act the third time he’ll meet you, maybe with less foolishness.

‘ they did say third times the charm ‘

‘ did she remember me? ‘

‘ Is that why she gave me cake? ‘

' the cake was good '

‘ DOES SHE THINK I'M AN IDIOT? ‘

' What coffee do I order next? ' 

Different thoughts and questions came to mind as he drifted to sleep with a smile, for the first time since he woke up—the sleep felt calm. It didn't have the feeling of fear that he wouldn't wake up again and it wasn't another nightmare about the past.

He dreamt of something funny this time, the monkey he once drew but instead of his uniform and shield, the monkey held a yellow umbrella and a banana as it unicycled over a sunny field.

Here you are now, working another day at the coffee shop on a boring Monday night. You were currently outside as you were painting the sign of the coffee express halfway. You muttered curse after curse angrily as you mentally pictured your boss for giving you this annoying task, you were an art major but you weren't a freaking carpenter.

He slept peacefully for the first time and maybe it was because of you.

There's also the current painting you needed to finish for another class you were taking which you hadn't done as you had a knack for procrastinating to the last second.

Though you were thankful since your boss allowed you to use the extra paint for your project, you were just annoyed at painting the large sign at two am. 

You attempted to reach for the higher parts of the sign board, that you momentarily forgot you were standing on a ten feet tall ladder. Your balance slipped as your shoes were no longer feeling the unstable ladder but quickly about to plummet on your death.

.

.

.

.

.

.

You never hit the ground though, you kept your eyes close not realizing a pair of thick arms cradled your form.

Were you dead? Was death like this? you didn't feel the fall as you quickly died? that's it? you died falling while painting a stupid sign?

You slowly adjust your vision to the bright light of the lamp post thinking it's the lights of heaven, not quickly seeing a pair of blue eyes filled with worry looking at you, you couldn't hear what he was saying distracted by the fact the guy you had a little crush on is in front of you.

Why the fuck would he be the one to greet you in the gates of heaven? Were you in a coma and are currently imagining him?

“ you're hot “ you voiced out without thinking instead of asking if you were still alive.

“ what? “ Steve asked confusedly still gravely worried 

“ Am I dead? “ you finally asked, just as you saw yourself through the reflection of the shop, you were in the arms of the cute guy as he stood there, easily holding you like a sack of potatoes.

“ you okay? “ 

“ yeah , I think my life just flashed before my eyes … “ you said monotonously still a bit out of it as you felt yourself slowly get steadied on the ground with your hands in instinct using his shoulders as support

“ nice muscles … “ you weren't even high but close death might have just given you no shame as you compliment Steve for the second time without a single thought in mind

“ thank you? … Are you okay? seriously? Can I call someone? hey, look at me “ Steve ignoring the compliment and staring worryingly as he saw you staring at the floor, he used his one hand to make you glance up at him, hoping you didn't have a concussion as remembered you not hitting the ground.

The action made you melt, feeling his warm big hand on your cheek and staring at his piercing blue eyes obviously worried about you, you blushed as you made him drop his hand or else you would have straight up kissed him there and there.

You fanned yourself quickly as you planned out what you were about to say without embarrassing yourself as you tried to control your blushing. 

“ thank you … uhh what’s your name? i feel like I should know the guy who saved my life just now “ 

“ Steve uhh Rogers “ he stated hesitantly, afraid you'd recognize his name from a museum.

“ Steve—oh my god! “ you shrieked with excitement

Hearing you say his name for the first time also made Steve want to make you say it a hundred times more. 

' there it is, you knew him ' he voice in his head readying himself for the

' your the Captain America! ' 

“ —you just saved my life, oh my god! Thank you!! Do you want cake? because we have lots of cake! “ he breathe a laugh at your nervous demeanor , thankful that you didn't know who he actually was 

He chuckled at your offering of cake for saving your life, he found everything you did fascinating and just absolutely adorable 

“ Sure , maybe just like the free sample you gave me last time? “

“ The cookies n’ cream special? of course, anything you like actually “ you remarked as you opened the glass door for him to enter 

“ Perfect timing, if you weren't there I'd probably be dead or with a broken spine, wait–what are you doing out here?It's like 2 am? doubt you were jogging based on your attire “ you said teasing as you looked at his outfit which is a simple black leather jacket and black pants with evident white paint along with his polished black shoes

“ oh my god, sorry for the paint Steve… god I'm such a clutz “  you said placing the whole plate of chilled cake on the table as Steve lifted his foot seeing there are paint stains on him only as far as his knee

“ don't worry about that, I can replace these—can't replace a life uhh your name? “ he chuckled nervously as he didn't know your name 

“ Sunny “ you replied 

“ even your name is pretty, Sunny “ uttered Steve rather quickly as the thought came to him, the comment making you both blush

“ And I was here on a walk? “ Steve stated with uncertainty since he only went here to see you, maybe order coffee on a small chance that he'd be able to talk to you 

“ oh thought you were here for this “ you said as you reached for the sketchbook that became a bit dusty under the counter, you raised the book in hand waving it slightly

You both sat conversing at one of the tables as you ate both a piece of the cake. The conversation going from his sketches to your empty canvas he spotted. You guys talked for an hour about art, him saving your life to small things like favorite color, food and to why Steve seemed old fashioned in which you guessed was that he's mormon. Steve agreed even if he didn't exactly know what that meant, better than you finding out he was basically a 97 year old breathing fossil.

“ oh! yeah, definitely passed by here to get that thing back “ Steve laughed, ditching the lame excuse he previously exclaimed.

Then it started raining, drizzle hitting the window panels of the shop added by a surge of lighting startling both of you. Steve got a feeling of deja vu except both of you fortunately aren't soaked from head to toe.

“ ugh , I don't have a ride home or an umbrella, I miss my umbrella “ you said remembering that you gave away your umbrella to some stranger a week ago.

The umbrella does not really hold an important meaning but you did have it for three years.

You had forgotten the memory of the guy you gave your umbrella to though, it wasn't like you were the kindest person on earth—you just saw a guy crash his face into a lamppost and felt bad, felt like the least you could do was give your umbrella to the poor idiot.

Though your statement made Steve choke on his second slice of cake

“ So what happened to your umbrella? “ Steve asked nervously, realizing you didn't recognize it was him you gave your umbrella to.

“ gave it to some idiot who hit his face on the street pole “ you said casually with a chuckle as you took another bite of the cake slice you had staring at the window being rained at

“ I–i was the guy you gave the yellow umbrella to “ he proclaimed carefully as he saw you quickly turn your head towards him

“ I never mentioned it was yellow … you were that idiot!? “ you said with an amused laugh as you saw Steve laugh as well with slightly reddened cheeks

“ harsh but yes , i'm the idiot “ said Steve embarrassingly as he covered his face 

“ for what it counts you're a very cute idiot “ you said making Steves face blush more 

“ So just to be sure you're not a stalker right … ? “ you said casually as if that would save you if Steve is actually a stalker but you knew he was too nice to be one

“ no-no of course note, that would never be my intention, i would n-never invade your privacy “ Steve stammered as he stood up from his seat 

You bursted out laughing seeing his panicked state 

‘ he looks too cute, definitely not a stalker–well if he is ,i am not complaining ‘ you thought 

“ I'm only teasing, don't worry Steve " you said making him take a deep breath while sitting back down 

“ Wanna recreate the first time we met? “ you teased as you gazed outside that had rain still continuously pouring after an hour and a half

“ I'm just gonna wrap up the cake so you can take it home “

The two's conversation continued , well more of just you teasing Steve about the rain incident. You enjoyed making Steve blush, the cutest parts were when his ears would turn red.

“ you don't have to give me the whole cake Sunny, I already had two slices “ said Steve sheepishly seeing you clean up and pack up the cake in a box 

“ oh , don't worry about that , you my dashing hero deserve more than one box of cake, i'd give you this coffee shop if i could for saving my life “ you stated as a fact, you were still a bit in shock that you could have died moments ago but Steve definitely made you feel better, having him as company.

The rain stopped a couple minutes later though, fortunately you and Steve wouldnt have to be soaked from head to toe again.

" just wait here, I need to get my bag from the storage room " you announced smiling already walking inside the average sized room that was beside the cashier

As you were packing up your belongings, Steve's having an internal turmoil about how it would be appropriate to ask for your number but it also could potentially end up as him screwing everything up

He heard it was more normal now to ask for a lady’s number but he didn't even know if he's your friend.

" fuck this " he said as he stood outside the door hearing faint sounds of you packing your things, a surge of confidense hitting him as he felt determined to get your number.

Even if he didn't have a smartphone, he'd just use a normal telephone that he could ask from Fury. 

As you open the door going inwards , you come very close face to face with Steve. The close proximity makes you both freeze and slightly redden. He lets out a small squeak of Hi while shyly rubbing his neck as he asks “ I know this is pretty forward but could I get your number? “ , he anxiously waits for your answer while fear grows inside him as the silence continues.

He finally exhales the air he didn’t know he's been keeping in as you cheerfully replied 

“ sure! “ with a wide grin you take a paper to write your number in

Steve waits outside as you arrange some things in the shop before actually closing. 

Steve smiles brightly as you gave him the paper that had your phone number, carefully tucking it in his pocket for safe keeping. 

He couldn't contain his excitement, whispering shout a ‘yes’ as he fist bumps the air having successfully got your number.

" bucky would be proud, rogers " he said patting his own shoulder with a ridiculous smile

" You got the girl’s number and a cake " he said smugly as he looked at you as you unplugged some sockets and glanced at the cake in hand inside a box wrapped with a fancy gold ribbon. 

“ ready to go madam? “

“ yes , superman “

“ like the guy with laser eyes? … and big muscles “ teased Steve remembering your comment making you blush as you punch his bicep 

“ you’re annoying “ you grumble while walking away fast but a smile couldn't help but escape your lips 

“ hey! wait for me “ shouted Steve from a distance 

“ eat my dust old man “ you joked as you ran a bit while Steve groans not being able to run as he's carrying a cake

The two continued chasing each other playfully through the empty wet streets, splashing some puddles along the way. Steve being the gentleman he is, walked you to your house and refused to walk away even if his apartment was in another direction. He didn't want to leave you until he had seen you walk inside your house with his own eyes ensuring your safety. The night ended with you kissing Steves cheek for walking you home 

“ night, my hero ~~ “ you said as Steve started walking away but still looking at you

“ goodnight sunshine ~~ “ he voiced from a distance making you giggle as you walked inside your house ending the night 

Steve turned away smiling in pure bliss, walking the empty street as the sunrise started to show.