#i think i accidentally unfollowed ????? im so confused about it

[mins-fins]

JUST A LITTLE BIT — ZHANG HAO

⊹ ˚. synopsis: note for next time, never let zhang hao drink too much.

⊹ ˚. pairing: zhang hao x m!reader

⊹ ˚. genre: fluff, crack

⊹ ˚. warnings: mentions of drinking, very much corny gay people, simply zb1 hyung line being idiots

⊹ ˚. word count: 1.1k

⊹ ˚. notes: I HAVE A HAO PC AND YOU DONT LOSER 🤣🫵!! just kidding pls dont unfollow me i need the clout 😞 anyway i DO NOT drink at all so if the depiction of drunk people in this is not how they actually are, sorry? i will never touch alcohol im sorry

⊹ ˚. this is for jj (@junjiie) because tbf i kinda owe it to him after pulling his bias (sorry bestie westie ily tho)

"what the fuck is zhang hao doing?"

zhang hao is not a heavy drinker, he doesn't enjoy drinking as much as his partner does, and he made that very clear when hanbin suggested celebratory drinks in the first place. he said, and i quote; "i'm not gonna drink that much, i don't even like alcohol that much".

look at where he's ended up now.

to be fair, y/n is surprised. usually, he's the one embarrassingly drunk and zhang hao's the one having to make sure he doesn't accidentally kill himself. he remembers that one story zhang hao told him where he almost drank bleach because he legitimately thought it was milk.

but today it seems like the rolls have reversed.

zhang hao is like.. super drunk, in an almost insane manner. for the past twenty minutes he's been doing and saying the absolute stupidest things, whether its loudly singing their debut song or abusing jiwoong.

to say the members are.. shocked is a large understatement. seeing zhang hao drink so much and act in such a not like him manner not only shocks them, but it also humors them too.

"oh, god i have never seen him this drunk before".

"your telling me, i'm his boyfriend, i never ever see him drunk".

zhang hao giggles and snorts, kicking jiwoong in the back of his leg as he falls over on the couch, dying from a random joke jiwoong told like half an hour ago, but his mind is too fuzzy for him to remember that.

the second eldest hums, stopping his giggles as he turns around and strolls y/n's way, stumbling as he makes his way to his partner. "hi" he snorts, hiccuping, he almost trips and y/n reaches over to grab him, standing him back upright.

"hello" he smiles simply. he's a little drunk, not so drunk that he's stumbling and red faced like zhang hao. the older stares for a moment, and then he smiles widely.

"your very pretty" he states, rocking back and forth on his heels as he smiles like a teenager giddy about their crush. he giggles like a little kid, grabbing y/n's hands and beginning to swing them back and forth. "like very gorgeous man".

"really? well, your prettier" y/n replies, and zhang hao giggles like a little kid once again. taerae pretends to vomit on the other side of the room, disgusted by this couple-y behavior.

"your cute, i'm cute, i have the feeling we'd look very good together" he laughs, biting his lower lip to suppress a smile. suddenly, his eyes light up as he thinks of a brilliant idea.

yeah "brilliant".

"just a question" he starts, batting his eyelashes dramatically. "do you happen to be single?" zhang hao inquires, scooting closer to the boy until their shoulders knocked together.

"oh no, i actually have a boyfriend".

now listen, y/n thought it would've been funny to mess with zhang hao, it's a thing a two of them always do. sometimes when he was drunk, he'll forget he's dating zhang hao himself, and the older will just mess with him for fun. but what he doesn't expect, is for zhang hao's smile to drop.

"oh, you do?" zhang hao frowns, his voice lowers in a way that makes him sound sad. he slowly steps away from y/n, looking uncomfortable.

matthew blinks, observing the situation. hanbin narrows his eyes in confusion, taerae chuckles at his sudden attitude change, and jiwoong simply shakes his head as he watches zhang hao step away.

zhang hao stays silent for a moment, a sad yet panicked expression written on his face, as if he'd just done something wrong.

just as y/n was about to ask what's wrong, zhang hao turns to him and bows his head.

"i'm so sorry for flirting with you!"

"what!?" matthew exclaims, startling hanbin, who was just about to drift off to sleep. taerae stares, then just begins giggling like an idiot, the alcohol getting to him.

y/n is taken aback. "wait no that's not—"

"i didn't know you were taken i'm so sorry" he apologizes again. "your boyfriend must be a really great person i'm so sorry for what i did" the words spill out of his mouth so quickly they simply blur together into nonsense, his head bowed so low that it was basically touching the ground.

"no no no it's alright" y/n panics, placing his hands on his boyfriends shoulder and pulling him to stand upright. "no need to apologize" he says, taking zhang hao's face and caressing his cheek as well as fixing his messy hair.

for some reason, that action must've had quite the affect on zhang hao, because he started bawling his eyes out.

"what— why are you crying!?" y/n exclaims, panicked by his boyfriends outburst.

he sniffles, bringing his hand up to wipe his nose before bursting into tears again upon making eye contact with y/n.

"he's taken" zhang hao sobs, eyes shut as tears dramatically fall down his cheeks.

without any warning, taerae fell over and began dying of laughter. giggles escaped matthew's lips as he watched zhang hao cry over his own boyfriend, and jiwoong tries his best to not burst into laughter.

"you three! don't laugh!" hanbin scolded, slapping both matthew and taerae on the back. he hurriedly rushes to zhang hao's side, wrapping an arm around him. "there there hao hao".

hanbin offers him a tissue, watching as zhang hao blows his nose as he rubs his hand up and down his back, he's trying his best not to laugh out loud as y/n stands there in panic.

"he's taken" zhang hao pouts, tears still falling from his eyes as he turns to hanbin, who, in response, lets out a small giggle.

"hanbin!?"

"sorry sorry" hanbin giggles again, but he then manages to stifle them, patting zhang hao's head. "don't cry hao-hyung, he's still very into you".

y/n stands there, feeling a little awkward. zhang hao sniffles again and turns to y/n, blinking as he stares at him. he stares for a specifically long time before walking up to him and pulling him into a hug.

"i hope your boyfriend doesn't mind this" he mutters into y/n's shirt, wiping his remaining tears on it.

y/n chuckles, running a hand up and down zhang hao's back. "no i don't think he'll mind" he says as he laughs, and zhang hao hums, pulling away to look up.

"has anyone ever told you that your very pretty?" he asks, emphasizing the 'very'. "i would kiss you but you have a boyfriend" he smiles, snorting once again.

"you are my boyfriend, silly".

"hah, funny joke".

zhang hao snorts once again, resting his head on y/n's chest. "you are very pretty".

"as you've said before".

"okay, continue lying pretty men".

y/n notes one thing from this interaction.

never let zhang hao drink too much.

[myrinthinks]

are you a zionist? the tags on that one post made me wonder and i dont want to follow a zionist. sorry if not and im bugging you for no reason lol

You know, I've been kinda going back and forth on whether to answer this or not, not because I'm offended or anything but on principle (and also because I couldn't tell what it was referring to at first and "are you a zionist?" is one hell of a thing to read out of nowhere; for everyone similarly confused: it's in reference to this post).

Because the thing is:

The whole topic of zionism/Israel's war on Palestine/Israeli colonialism could not have been what I was talking about in those tags because the post in question is literally about shutting up and never, ever talking about something. Contrary to that, I have reblogged numerous posts on the Palestine-Israel issue over the past months which I would have thought made my stance on the whole thing clear. (I have also donated to Palestinian relief funds but of course you couldn't have known about that because, somewhat ironically given the topic, I never mentioned that on my blog.) I'm astounded that out of all possible topics I never, ever talk about, you landed on one that, well, I actually have talked about.

I'm also astounded that you read my saying "so I simply never talk about them ever" and thought "better make her talk about it". When I say I don't talk about a topic, I mean it.

Ironically, I was - again - going back and forth on whether to include those tags in the first place when I reblogged the post in question, exactly because of anticipating asks like this one. I feel like it's a simple reality of life that basically every person we interact with has thoughts and feelings we don't know, have never even thought of, and might even vehemently disagree on, especially when that interaction is happening through an online lens. But somehow, a lot of people don't seem to (want to?) realise that, and actually acknowledging that simple fact somehow makes you suddenly suspicious when it's just stating the truth.

There are a lot of topics I don't talk about, either online or IRL, but not all of those are ones I know people won't share my thoughts and feelings on; in fact, the vast majority aren't. You are vanishingly unlikely to guess what I was referring to in those tags, even if you list all the things you can think about which I've never mentioned on here, mostly because what I was referring to are all utterly mundane topics, they're just things I happen to know some (not even all! Not by a long shot!) of my online friends have the diametrically opposed opinion on, passionately. (If you absolutely need an example, albeit a fandom one: one such topic - which has since changed because I found my people - used to be my love for omegaverse. I gobble that shit up, it's my absolute favourite trope in any fandom I've ever been in. But I had one online friend - "had" not for any particular reason, we just drifted apart naturally and haven't interacted in years; she actually fully deleted her tumblr some time ago - who was very vocal about her hatred of it. By pure happenstance she mentioned her strong dislike of the trope before I mentioned my strong like and as such, I simply never brought the topic up at all, ever.)

You are allowed to not follow me for any reason at all! If I, for some reason, have given you the idea that I might be [whatever you can come up with] and you're uncomfortable with that, you don't even have to hesitate, you can just unfollow/not follow me in the first place. I don't even know my follower count and accidentally look at it maybe once every two weeks. But even if that weren't the case, what am I gonna about it? I don't know you! You can just happily live your life without my having any way to contact you about your unfollowing me, and if you hadn't even followed me to being with, even better - I don't even know you exist! Spoken more bluntly: this.

I could be lying about all of these things. I would think that looking through my blog would be a much better indicator of my personality, stances, and attitude than point-blank asking me about it. I could easily try to trick you with my answer to your question but I've had this blog for almost ten years and I would be playing a very long ruse if I had spent that much time exhibiting views I don't actually hold.

[ranidspace]

Downloaded my Tumblr Privacy data lets see what it has on me:

My Email. Obviously.

My age. Despite me entering my birthday it doesn't seem to have that here? but it knows my age.

The exact time i opened my account: 2016-12-31 16:10:51 I then proceeded to not use it for 4 years.

A list of blogs i frequently reblog from, called "crushes" and a list of blogs that reblog of my posts, called "crushers"

a VERY confusing list just called "dashboard" which i THINK includes every single post on my dashboard. the list is fucking massive. it's 115391 entries long. a lot of them just being "Advertisement" which im really not sure what it means, because there's like tens and sometimes hundreds of them in a row. I think the list is just completely out of order.

A list of all my previous usernames, which is cool, but i hate them all.

A list of every account i unfollowed, and the time i unfollowed them. This file does NOT include a list of every account i follow.

the exact TOWN i live in. not city, exact small ass town i live in.

A list of every single ad that was shown to me, and if i clicked on them or not, or if i "viewed" them.

A list of my most used tags on all sideblogs.

My Advertising IDs

A list of every single time i opened up the app

i don't think it full accounts for everything but i had to make a graph anyway

It knows my phone is running OS number "11" but not android. which is really funny to me

my "most important tags"

A "user interest profile" which appears to be a bunch of tags i search, post about, reblog, etc. not fully comprehensive just a couple main ones. However i would like to point out, I sometimes browse the "H*gw*rts L*gacy"(censored so i dont show in searches) tag in order to find posts of people shitting on the game and reblog that, and so it thinks im interested in the game. However there's not many algorithms here, so it doesn't matter.

All my settings on my blogs

"Explore takeover analytics" This is interesting, these appear to just be links to posts that tumblr themselves make, usually pushed to the top of the explore tag and knows if you've looked at their posts or interacted with them. fun!

and finally, whether i have push notifications on for all my devices.

Honestly a lot less data than most other social medias. however they're still gathering a lot of advertising data on you.

other than a few personal details at the beginning heres what the whole list of stuff they have on u looks like

anything highlighted blue has extra data inside that i've hidden. anything that just has [] at the end is just empty. there are a couple sub folders in here.

i hope to god theres no details that are bad for security that i accidentally posted

[amakumos]

yeah like 🙃 he removed me as a follower but didn’t unfollow me??? like if he didn’t want anything to do w me he could’ve unfollowed as well so i’m just so confused 🥲

realistically he’s probably gone and cleared out his followers and removed ppl he doesn’t know too well bc his followers dropped by about 20-30 and my wingwoman friend from the trip who followed him also got removed so i dont think its anything personal but that doesnt mean i still didnt feel a bit 💔

and as much as i said that i dont wanna have false hope and i would much rather have been left on opened than delivered i don’t Like that the false hope has been shut down now 😭😭😭 ALSO AFTER ALL THIS HE STILL DIDNT OPEN MY MESSAGE 💀

(but also the fact that he didn’t unfollow me gives my little delulu brain a teensy bit of hope HDJWJXBSB i am Insane i need to stop)

and im esp annoyed bc i was feeling sm better abt him yesterday like i had a long talk w one of my close friends abt it and (ik this sounds dramatic) but i’d gotten to the point where i could think abt him without feeling upset and remember our interactions fondly yk? and then i accidentally click on his profile this morning whilst trying to search for smth else and i see that and i just . i cant explain it but it doesnt feel Good

i feel so conflicted bc the rational side of my brain is like ‘its not personal plus it’s been a month since the trip it’s ab time to leave that behind and move on’ but the emotional side is like ‘NOOOOOOOOOOOOO WHYYYY’ 😭😭😭

pls i totally get u😭😭😭but in some way i guess him removing u as follower is sort of closure (EVEN IF IT IS A TERRIBLE WAY) .. but man that rlly sucks i am so sorry :(((

[arnold-layne]

🍏🍌🍑? (also sorry accidentally unfollowed sorry for the notif)

haha i thought so when i saw the notif! those damn buttons are so close i once followed a bot instead of blocking it. thank u for the ask <3

🍏 Is there something you overuse, whether it’s a certain phrase, trope, or piece of punctuation?

i have to admit, i'm rather fond of gerunds 😔 this results in one long and complex sentence where two short would suffice. since the specifics of english grammar make it so that you can't not have a verb in a complete sentence, this structure can get pretty repetitive and monotonous, and that's where gerunds come in. but i really overuse them sometimes. i usually weed out the excessive ones during editing tho

(i just went and counted some in the chapter im editing now. 13 gerunds in 400 words. do you see the problem)

🍌 In your opinion, what’s the funniest joke/reference/pun you’ve made in a fic?

uhhh im sorry i cant remember any right now :(

🍑 If you could make a connection between your favorite character and another work you care about (whether a crossover/fusion or a wonderfully “pretentious” literary reference) what would it be? How would it work?

um, i don't really get the question, does it mean like analysing parallels between them or dumping a character into another universe? can't really think of anything for the former (it's rpf, after all, kinda hard to search for parallels in real people's lives), but as for the latter, i'd love to dump the crue into fallout universe. i think it could make for a very interesting au, but i really doubt there are a lot of people beside me who'd enjoy a mix of that. nikki would be a drugged-out raider who quit his gang and is trying to survive on his own out in the wasteland. tommy would be a vault dweller who for some reason had to go above ground and is now confused and lost. (nikki might try to rob him upon their first meeting). vince would be a stripper or a prostitute in a big city who'd never really gone beyond its borders and only heard stories from travelers, and is now eager to see the world. (he'll be very disappointed but also it would be kinda worth it). and mick would be a former brotherhood of steel paladin who got tired of their imperialism and is now hunted by them because he stole some valuable tech

[ctntduoarchive]

hiiiii beloved mutual. courtesy notice that im gonna use one of your fics in a webweave

TYYY!!!! AHHHH!!!!!! <- literally so excited couldn't put it into words

also! speaking of us being mutuals literally only a couple of hours ago i discovered i wasn;t following you and i somehow accidentally broke the mutual and that's when i decided god HATES me!!!!!

[lizbotw]

HELPLESS | SUGAWARA

request: aaa for the character and song suga and helpless from hamilton please-? also I HIT THE UNFOLLOW BUTTON INSTEAD OF ASK IM SORRY HHHH I LOVE YOUR WORK

you have me in my hamilton feels now, good job. AND OMG IT’S OKAY LMAO tysm for the support omg ur so cute and sweet, ilysm wtf :( ♡ making me cry

“What do you think of him?”

You stopped dribbling the basketball and turned to face Kiyoko—her hair tied up into a ponytail, the school gym uniform on—confused.

You didn’t get what she meant (or rather you did, but...). “What?”

“What?” Her face was set dead serious.

You scowled. “What do you mean what? You’re the one who asked the question.”

There was a stare-off between you two before giggles erupted out of her and she hid them behind her hand, eyes squeezing closed. You huffed and turned your attention back to rolling the ball between your two palms, feeling the ridges of its outline. She was laughing at your expense but you couldn’t fault her because you had done the same to her countless times. You also knew that she was onto you, no matter how well you tried to hide it.

“You know who I mean.”

“No I don’t.”

“Suga.”

Your jaw clenched at the words, trying to maintain a hard exterior, but on the inside your heart was beating rapidly at the mere mention of his name. “I don’t know.”

Heads over heels in love is what you wanted to say.

Wanting the conversation to end, you readied the basketball in your hands, bent your knees and jumped a little to shoot for the net high up by the backboard.

Miss. The ball bounced on the rim and came to roll right by your feet. You planted one foot on top of it to stop the momentum and out of the corner of your eye saw Kiyoko looking at you. “I never said I was good.”

She was back to smiling and you knew you could never be mad at her. “You know that’s not what I’m thinking about.” You wished she was just talking about your sucky basketball skills and not the boy of your infatuations.

The coach’s whistle rang out through the area—gym class was over. You scoped up the ball from below your feet and followed behind Kiyoko to the exit of the gym to the connected locker room, eyes roaming over the space as you watched the other students abandon the activities they’d been doing as well.

“Whatever.”

“You forgot this.”

You jolted, accidentally kicking your desk and causing it to move with a screech that echoed through the classroom. Eyes wide, you turned to see who had snuck up on you. Brown eyes were the first thing you were drawn to, then the shock of silver hair, and finally the worried expression and the badly concealed smile that was slowly overtaking it.

“Did I startle you?” A small laugh spilled out of him. “Sorry, I don’t mean to laugh, it’s just— that was cute.” You could tell he wasn’t sorry.

You tried to ignore the burn of his words in your chest and the flips your stomach was doing. “What are you even doing here?”

“Well...” He rubbed the back of his neck and that’s when you noticed two brown paper bags clutched in his hand. “You forgot your lunch in my class when you came to see Daichi this morning. Thought you might be looking for it.”

The lunch period had only just started, so you didn’t even have time to miss your lunch before Suga had brought it. He must’ve rushed over here to give it to you as soon as class was dismissed, although you chose not to point that out.

“Can I sit here?” He was pointing to the empty chair next to you where Kiyoko had just been sitting. Wait—where was Kiyoko? Knowing her she must’ve ran off as soon as she saw him coming in order to give you guys some “alone time.” You cursed her in your mind, although the reminder of his question and the way his gaze was so fully focused on you made you forgive her instantly.

You looked again at the two bags he held, recognizing yours where you’d scribbled your name on the front this morning, and understanding at once that the other was his—he’d planned this.

You smiled. “I’d like that.”

Time: 1:35 A.M.

From Suga: Are you up?

From (Y/N): No.

From Suga: Haha, very funny. Anyway look outside your window.

From (Y/N): So it was YOU who kept throwing rocks at it when I was trying to sleep. I can’t believe this.

From Suga: I confess to nothing. Now are you coming or not? These meat buns are going to get cold so maybe I should just eat them all myself—

From (Y/N): CLIMBING OUT THE WINDOW RN

“Where’d you get that?” Kiyoko thumbed the smooth pendent that hung from a silver chain around your neck. Your last initial and “S” were carved into it. It was painfully obvious what it stood for.

“Nowhere.” You didn’t look her in the eye, but she understood.

“When?”

“Saturday.”

Her lips curled up into a smile and you were thoroughly embarrassed. “I’m expecting to hear the whole story later.” How had you gotten so lucky to be best friends with someone who was willing to listen to your constant lovesick rants?

“And then he—”

You heard her out of breath, laughing on the other end of the phone. “Okay, okay, I get it,” she managed out, “he’s perfect and charming and—”

“No, no, he’s so much more than that, you see.” You were giddy with excitement, rolling around on your bed as you squealed over the phone with her, the grin stretching across your face starting to hurt your cheekbones, although you couldn’t bring yourself to care.

There was a hum of contemplation on the other side. “You know, I don’t think I quite see. Why don’t you explain it more to me?” Her teasing tone was like music to your ears and was one of the last things she managed to get in before you launched into another night-long tangent about him.

“You think this’ll work?”

“Of course it’ll work, this is what they do in movies all the time.”

Suga narrowed his eyes. “I’m serious, Daichi, I don’t want to mess this up.”

Daichi sighed, crossing his arms. “How many times have we had this conversation already?”

“Five times,” Asahi provided helpfully from next to him.

“Thank you, Asahi. And how many times have you almost said, ‘I love you,’ Suga?”

Suga looked away, lips pressed into a line. He knew Daichi was right. “More than five times,” he mumbled.

“Exactly. This is getting out of hand.” Noticing Suga’s worried expression though, he clapped a reassuring hand on his back. “You’ve never been worried about things like this before, get it together.” And with that, he turned to go, Asahi falling into step with him. “Go get ‘em, tiger,” Daichi called back, looking like he was enjoying this a little too much.

“We’ll be waiting on the bleachers if you need us,” Asahi reminded him.

And then he was alone.

Suga stared down at the box in his hand. This time it was a bracelet. Funny how you’d gotten matching necklaces on a whim before either of you had made it official—then again, you both knew what it was that you had. There was no one else he’d rather be stuck with at 2 A.M. on top of a hill, watching the quiet pull of the lake below, your words spilling out of you and filling the space and your laughter lighting up the night sky.

You still deserved for him to seal the deal though.

It was strange, but he found himself missing you even though it had only been a day. But right now he was alone and overthinking this whole thing—what if he had misunderstood how you felt?

Wait— no— not alone. The sound of footsteps nearby clued him in on someone’s arrival. You were here. You peeked your head around the corner before he had a chance to prepare himself and he quickly hid the box behind his back out of surprise.

“Suga?”

“You’re here.” He almost face palmed for stating the obvious, but was thankful when you didn’t point it out.

Instead you said, “You look like you saw a ghost.”

More like an angel. The fact that even those few words had his face burning with the desire to be closer to you reminded him how completely at your mercy he was.

Looking at the way your gaze softened and you stepped closer to him, he remembered how you’d done the same thing so many times before and now there was no question in his mind that you felt the same way—from the second you saw each other you were both helpless. Perhaps now it was time to completely surrender control.

[hatsukeii]

I've been thinking about slytherin! Tsukishima dating a slytherin! S/o who joined the death eater because their parent force 'em. And they were so depressed and always crying every night, then tsukishima noticed and then comfort 'em. They ended up ran away with tsuki and joined the battle of hogwarts to fight against voldemort. Oh my god i love this>-

Okay I love this PLUS I’m a Slytherin (according to Pottermore) BUT I have a confession

I never finished the Harry Potter series bc I couldn’t be bothered w Order Of The Phoenix THERE I SAID IT SUE ME UNFOLLOW ME IM A DISGRACE

I DID watch almost all the movies though

But don’t attack me if this one isn’t like 100% canonically accurate though please I cannot

Btw I’m not gonna do the fight YET I might make a part two idk lolol it’s a bit too much for one fic and I need to go read a summary of the fight-

Run away with me// Slytherin!Tsukishima Kei x Slytherin!Reader

Word Count: 1800+

Warnings: None

Summary: Controlling parents are never good, especially when they force you to side with evil.

“They forced you to do what?” Tsukishima was beyond furious. Fuming. He was absolutely ready to murder your parents if you didn’t do it first.

“Kei, stay quiet! They’re gonna kill us both if they hear you!”

“Do I look like I give a flying fuck right now?”

You looked at the floor, the guilt slowly consuming you as you avoided his piercing glare. How could you face him, when you broke such a huge promise you made to one of the most emotionally unstable people you know? Fiddling with your fingers, you racked your brain, hoping to find a sensible explanation for what you did. “I didn’t have a choice! You really think I would give up on everything? Give up on you, my friends, my education, my hopes and dreams, just to fight alongside Voldemort? You seriously think I would be heartless enough, to kill innocent wizards?” If anyone was around and heard your words, you would’ve been sent to Dumbledore instantly, maybe even gotten executed for treason. Just the slightest mention of He Who Shall Not Be Named, or the death eaters, was enough to trigger almost all the staff and students, especially with the situation going on in the wizarding world currently. With Voldemort back from the dead and on the loose, Hogwarts has one upped their security, the atmosphere tenser than ever.

Hearing the click of a door, Tsukishima clamped his large hand over your mouth, the other gripping your waist as he pulled you into the tall grass, putting a finger over his lips. From the hut, stumbled out a wobbly, possibly drunk Hagrid, a huge ass axe in hand. “WHAT’S THAT EVIL SHIT YER TALKIN’ BOUT HUH? COME ON OUT MUGGERS! I’LL GIVE YER A PIECE O’ THIS!” The man swung the axe from side to side, as if he was expecting it to hit someone. Not seeing blood on the blade, the shaggy haired wizard mumbled a few curses, swinging the wooden door open as he stumbled back in, tripping on his own two feet as he dropped the axe far away, the blade sinking itself into the wooden material of his little hut. Scrambling back to his feet, he grabbed the doorknob angrily, slamming the door shut with a heavy thud and a gust of wind.

The blond poked his head out slightly, looking around to check for people that might be lurking in the darkness. Sighing in relief, he sat himself back down on the ground, crossing his arms. Sweating, you bit on your nails nervously, anticipating his next words.

“Why was I in the dark about this?”

“Because you would leave me.”

His brows knitted together in confusion and pain.

“I won’t. I’m just mad.”

“You would if you knew more about me.”

Tsukishima may be a Slytherin, but that didn’t mean he wanted it. You saw the incredibly disheartened look on his face when the sorting hat blurted out the house. He refused to talk to anyone for days. He got in trouble countless of times for talking back to Snape. Everyone, even you, hated him. He was disrespectful, irritating, provoking, and inconsiderate to everyone that crossed paths with him. It wasn’t until months later, did you realise the reasoning behind his rotten attitude for his house. A fight broke out between Hinata and Tsukishima, with Hinata screaming about how the latter had no right to be disrespectful to his seniors. That was the exact moment, when the entire school was graced with his story. Later that night, you approached him, apologetic for your attitude towards him and hoping to understand more. Turns out both his parents were killed by death eaters. He was eight, and watched as his parents burned to ashes in front of him, the two murderers laughing to the screams and cries of agony. He was quick to run to safety, the two wizards too occupied with killing his parents to pay any attention to him. Since then, he’s never had a proper home, running errands for whoever would pay him even just the minimal amount of money. His dream was to get into Hogwarts, and kill the ones that eliminated his parents from the world, but his one condition was to never get into Slytherin. He was not going to associate himself with those disdainful, cold blooded murderers known as the death eaters. It wasn’t a surprise he would be furious about this.

You were now a shaking mess, not even noticing the tears that were streaming down your skin. The moon reflected off Tsukishima’s glasses, a look of fury and sorrow buried in his dull irises. The two of you sat in silence, not knowing what to say to the other. You cursed yourself. Why did fate have to do this? Why did fate have to send your soul to a pair of death eaters? The two death eaters that bragged to eight year old you about the victims they tortured, and eventually murdered, masking the truth and portraying it as if it was something to be proud of? Why did you have to fall for their victim’s son? Why were they so goddamn desperate to turn you into one of them? You’ve known all three of the Unforgivable Curses since you were merely a preteen. You constantly feared for your life in Hogwarts. You knew how powerful your parents were. If you disobeyed them, they could’ve had all your friends, everyone you’ve ever cared for, dead in a heartbeat. As a result of that, you never revealed anything about your family, not wanting to give anything away. However, that didn’t work with Tsukishima. Infatuation is a dangerous feat. Before you knew it, the two of you were meeting in Hagrid’s field every night, getting to know each other better. Your parents being death eaters accidentally slipped out one night, and for the next week, Tsukishima refused to talk to you at all. He avoided you everywhere, sat as far away from you as possible at dinner, left you waiting for hours in the field. And yet despite his cold attitude towards you, not once did you leave him alone. Maybe that was what he really admired about you.

A sob erupted from your throat, breaking the silence of the dark, cloudless night. You were done. You were done with this. You were done with hiding your problems from him. You were done with hiding your past, your parents, your feelings, everything. The suffocating guilt, the strained throb of your heart, you were sorry. You were sorry for not telling him anything earlier on. You hated yourself for being born to two cold blooded murderers. You hated yourself for acting weak in front of him right now, but the chord just snapped. The thin, thin chord that held your emotions just gave out, and you burst into tears. Hot, salty, flowing tears. You fell forward as your hands held you up, head bowed down and shaking. Your tears wouldn’t stop, flinging themselves onto the floor as Tsukishima just stared.

“WHY? WHY DID I HAVE TO BE BORN LIKE THIS? I CAN’T DO THIS! I DON’T WANT TO! I HATE THEM! MURDERERS! FUCKING KILLERS! I CAN’T BELIEVE THEM, SERIOUSLY! OH, AND WHY, OF ALL PEOPLE, DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU? WHY YOU? YOU SHOULD HATE ME! THAT’S HOW IT SHOULD BE!”

Salty droplets clumped up in your eyelashes, rolled to the corners of your lips, into your mouth, you could taste the warm liquid on your tongue. The blond was frozen. Never had he ever seen you like this, crying and wailing as you put yourself down for something that was out of your control. He was confused, because one thing lingered in his mind.

“I should hate you? What are you talking about?”

Chuckling hopelessly, you sniffled, enjoying the last few seconds of his obliviousness.

“Oh yeah, I never told you. My parents killed yours and bragged about it at home afterwards. I was eight.”

Something in Tsukishima’s heart dropped as his mouth staggered open. “Your parents were the killers?” You continued to laugh manically, screams emitting from your throat despite feeling empty inside. “Yeah, so hate me. Leave me. Don’t make yourself suffer any more.” Tears glistened in his eyes as his words got caught in his throat. Her parents were the murderers. Let her go. She’s becoming one of them as well. “Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!” Gripping his head, Tsukishima screamed, trying to block out the deafening voice in his head that urged him to just get up and walk away, break all ties with you, throw everything into the abyss, never to be seen again. The thoughts were dizzying as he fell to the ground, curled up. “I’m...sorry. I’m so, so... sorry.” His cries of agony never stopped. Desperate to comfort him, you slowly got up to your knees, leaning forward and grabbing his shoulders as you forced him to look at you. Your eyes were desperate, shaking and watery. “I don’t know what I’m gonna do. I don’t want to become one of them. I don’t care if you hate me, or leave me, or kill me. You have all the right reasons to. Just please... help me.” What you expected, was for him to fling you away. What he did, was lunge forward, arms wrapping around your neck as his head landed on the side of it, tears making your skin wet as he continued to cry.

“Kei, I’m so sorry.”

No reply.

“It’s okay, I’ll love you even if you don’t feel the same way anymore.”

“No.”

His mumble sent vibrations down your neck, waking your entire body up. Strained breaths made their way into the cold night air. Wrapping your arms around him, silent tears continued to roll down your cheeks as you held him tighter, refusing to let go.

“Run away with me. I’m done with all this. I’m not gonna leave you, ever. I love you. I don’t care if your parents killed mine, or if you’re being forced to join the death eater. Come with me. We can run away to who knows where. No one will find us, maybe finally we’ll be free. We can get fake identities, hide in the city, I don’t care. I’ll keep my owl here, when the school finally fights the death eaters, he’ll tell us, then we’ll come back. I’m sick of constantly waiting for evil to knock on our door. Let’s just go and live how we want. Run away with me, (Y/N).”

An arm extended towards you, willing for you to take it.

“You’re absolutely insane Kei, I’ll come with you.”

Grabbing his hand, you hoisted yourself up, giving him another tight hug.

“You wanna go now?”

“Yeah, let’s just go.”

And the two of you run.

You run, and run.

Away from the school.

Away from your friends.

Away from your belongings.

And you don’t stop.

Tags:

@sunshines-and-tatertots @justachillgirl @trashcanweeb @izzyphantomgamer @mariechan123 @macaronnv @itmekisuu @kaylacinderella @random-fandomlover @inlwlevi @bokutokoutarou @for-ests @emsvegetables @talks-a-lot-of-stuff @just-another-bored-writer @agentvicinity @sakusasgarbage @thirstyvolleyballhoe @tiredgr3mlin @animebsposts @artsamber @sneezefiction @xonfusedsoul @iwaigroomi @poppirocks @burnt-tomato @ewfilthymundane @skyeackermans

It’s probs just because I wrote it but I think you can see how I was slowly dying or maybe you can’t.

Apologies for the inaccuracy AHSHJDGAYGSDhAS-

Have fun reading:)

[dekiiru]

okay sorry it took so long for me to write and post this, but im home now and in the silence to be able to gather my thoughts and the peace to be able to write them down. a lot of this is me working through my own thoughts as i write it so im sorry its so long, but im still a little bit confused on how to feel about this, largely, i think, due to shock.

i had no clue about almost any of the stuff julie did or said to people. i knew of the miles thing to some extent (i didnt know why miles was uncomfortable with him, i only knew about the aftereffects) and i knew about the vague story surrounding why maddy, jay and marina didnt like him, although i had never actually spoken to them before.

my initial reaction to the callout was to get defensive, because that was someone i considered my friend and although somewhere i think i knew or had some inkling that he was like this, i chalked it up to mistakes and people jealous of his popularity because i wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. but the more i read the callout (i never finished it, partially because i had to take screencaps of the posts and painstakingly slowly read through them because the nature of my work makes it very difficult to focus on things for more than a few seconds at a time and partially because by the time i stopped, i had already made my decision regarding him) the more i realized that defending his actions isnt something i can, should, or would do.

and regarding the “sc/hool sho/oter” post, i live in america. in fact, i lived about 5-15 minutes away from where one of these sc/hool sho/otings happened (i lived for several years in roseburg, oregon, and the sh/ooting at u.c.c. happened a year or two after i moved to where i live now). i knew people who went there. i knew one person who died. the day it happened i broke down in the middle of marching band because i had no idea whether or not the friends i knew for three years were alive or dead and that fucking terrified me. and when it happened, i told julie over discord (because i was working when i heard about it) that i did not condone his actions or words and that it was wrong of him to say, but (and i still stand by this), it is not the place of anyone who was not even indirectly affected by a shooting to decide whether or not someone is worthy of redemption. no, julie should not have reblogged that post and while it is totally fine for you to be uncomfortable to interact with him because of it, i think only people who have been directly affected by sc/hool shoo/tings have the right to decide if he is worthy of forgiveness - for that. the rest of it is a different matter.

a few months ago i actually went through this with someone else. i wrote a callout post for daisy, a mercy blog in the overwatch fandom who deleted shortly after i wrote it. (if any of you want to see that callout, let me know and ill send it to you. i will admit here and now that there was something i shouldnt have added in there, but it was added with good intentions, but regardless, daisy’s callout really has nothing to do with the situation with julie and nothing to do with what is happening now. shes gone. im just making a connection to this situation.) it was a very similar situation; manipulation, hypocrisy, turning people against others, saving face and caring more about reputation than anything else. and while i was absolutely terrified of daisy’s situation happening again, where i get really really close with someone and then find out they manipulated the fuck out of me, i was also scared to lose friends, and i think thats a big part of why i wanted so badly to match or whatever, because i really really really wanted a place to belong, where i felt special and unique and yet part of a group and in the end that really fucked me over and made me blind to what was happening. i defended him (albeit not for long, ive only spoken to him for a few months now) for things i shouldnt have defended him for because i was terrified of losing people and im so sorry about that.

as for the callout itself: i will say that i do think there are two sides to every story. im not saying julie is a victim in this or that he is to be sympathized with, because at the end of the day, he hurt a lot of people and its good that the word was spread before more people got hurt. i dont agree that it is “a cis persons responsibility to make sure people know they are cis” because that kind of mindset will only lead to a witch hunt, but im not going to make a fuss about this because i know some other genderqueer people are more uncomfortable about cis people than i am and at the end of the day that is a personal opinion. i think some of the callout was worded with bias which probably, in some situations, did slightly twist the truth, ONLY because it is a callout and it is really difficult not to twist the truth in them even when they are written as formally as possible, HOWEVER while most of the time i disregard callouts (because a lot of them are written entirely based on personal bias because someone doesnt like someone else rather than on an actual need for people to be warned), this one was written very eloquently and very well. as someone who has been on that side of things, im really really proud of the people who contributed to it, especially those that werent afraid of giving their names out, because that is a really really hard thing to do, especially when its for someone really popular. i remember when i wrote one for daisy, i was almost sick to my stomach with the anxiety, and really pleasantly surprised when it was received much better than i expected. i am really proud of you guys, and thank you for letting me and everyone else know the truth of what happened.

however, that callout was not an attack, nor was it intended to be, and by people sending julie hate, youre just making the situation worse. i believe, in my personal opinion, that the best thing to do is to block and move on. we can come together as a community, and while julies actions wont go away, hopefully we can heal and understand from them. and i really want to thank manny for that post, because similarly to daisy, it is the people closest to the person in question who are left most in the dark. as julies friend, i had no idea about almost anything that was there and honestly, im glad now that i do. thank you for understanding that the people who associated with him are not always aware of what he did.

anyway this is really disorganized and im sorry, thats just my thoughts on the matter (as much as i can think anyway), and i hope it makes some sort of sense. i will be hardblocking julie on all of my blogs and changing the urls to both my izuku blog and my ouma blog and my icon for this blog. if you choose to continue to interact with julie, thats on you and i wont reprimand you, block you or unfollow you for it. please do not associate me with him anymore, though, add me to any groups anywhere with him, or tag me and him in the same posts.

and, as i said before, because i really want to get this point across, if you are uncomfortable with me because i interacted with him so much and so intimately and wish to hard or softblock or unfollow me, that is perfectly fine and i understand completely. i only ask if you softblock me that you let me know so that i dont accidentally follow you again, because i dont want to make anyone uncomfortable with my presence.

[anonymousinvisibility]

Things I’ve Learned about Blocking People on Tumblr

(and some things I tested out first because I wanted to know before making this post and because I think it’s IMPORTANT for people to know and understand what blocking someone can and can’t do) 

The blog that was blocked can’t send asks, submissions, or messages to the blog that blocked them.

However, the blog that’s done the blocking CAN still send asks and submissions to the blog they’ve blocked.  Any asks they send MUST be replied to publicly, however, because the blocked person is prevented from replying privately.  IM’s to a blockee from a blocker won’t be delivered and a message will pop up saying something to that effect in the IM window.

Blocking automatically forces both blogs to unfollow each other, and the blog who was blocked cannot re-follow that other blog.  However, the blocker can re-follow at any time.  Blockers be aware!  You CAN accidentally re-follow someone you’ve blocked.  Tumblr will not notify you that you had the person blocked, it will simply follow them and remove them from your blocked list.

Tumblr will not allow you to reblog or favorite posts from the blog that blocked you…

...it also will not allow you to unfavorite posts from the blog who blocked you.  :(

However!  If it’s not one of that person’s original posts, you can go to someone else’s blog who’s reblogged it and unfav it that way.  Not ideal, but it’s an option if you want that blog off of your Favorites page

As long as the blog who blocked you is the original poster of something, not only will Tumblr not let you reblog from that person, it won’t let you reblog their original posts from anyone else either.

Blocking someone does not stop you from seeing the blog who blocked you (or the blog you blocked) on your dash if someone else is reblogging stuff from them.  You’ll still have to use a ‘blacklist’ add-on feature like the ones from New X-Kit, Tumblr Savior, Washboard, or Tumblr’s new filtering system to get them off of your dash entirely.

...or you have to unfollow the person who’s blogging their stuff.  Your choice.

If you go to the blog who blocked you, you can still look through their posts, archive, etc.

If you do a search for the blog that blocked you, they themselves won’t come up, but if they’ve been ‘@mentioned’ or tagged in something, those will still come up (unless you’ve got a blacklist filter in place.)  There are other reasons someone won’t come up, too - part of Tumblr’s metrics that I’m not totally clear on yet - so don’t use this tactic as the main way to see if someone’s blocked you.

The best way to see if someone's blocked you is to go to their blog and try to reblog something from them.  If the post comes up, then you’ve got nothing to worry about.  If you get an error message instead, then they’ve blocked you.

If you block the sender of an anonymous message it ONLY prevents you from seeing more anonymous messages from that IP address.  They can send them to their heart’s content, but they will never hit your Inbox and the sender will never know you didn’t see them.

However! If this same person sends you an ask off-anon, that won’t be blocked.  It only works when they’re trying to message you ON anon.  It also doesn’t block that IP in any other way - you won’t automatically unfollow anyone (or force them to unfollow you) and they can still send you IMs, submissions, etc.

Also - a heads up before you do this.  Not everyone’s IP is static; the numbers can change. The anon you block today might have access to you again at some point.  Meanwhile, blocking an IP address is not something that can be undone - so there is always a chance that you’ll eventually be blocking someone who had NOTHING to do with sending you the hate in the first place.  But I think it’s a slim chance, and I entirely understand why shutting an anon up might be preferable regardless of the possible consequences somewhere down the line.

Being blocked confuses RPThreadTracker, so if it’s causing you problems and telling you you didn’t reply to something that you KNOW you did, chances are that person has blocked you.

And finally, if anyone tries to tell you that it’s best to block someone because they’re using your blog as a ‘gateway’ to their blog - it’s BS.  There are plenty of ways to get to a blocked blog without using anyone as a ‘gateway’.  This is really just a bullying tactic to get more people to block the same blog.

[groundramon]

Statement

I didnt want to write this but I’m too fucking tired to respond to anymore people who go into my ask box. I’ve already gotten 4. Leave me alone. Also I apologize for not censoring @ ‘s.  Obviously, do not send hate to anyone.  Because I, unlike Peri, do not endorse that.  Your white knighting will not hurt Peri and it will not help me - it will just help Peri feel more justified.  So seriously, to any of my friends/mutuals/followers reading this - do not.

DISCLAIMER: I knew peri back when he still used they/them pronouns. If I ever accidentally refer to him with those pronouns, please don’t hone in on that, but please DO tell me about my mistake so I can go and fix that. This is not an excuse, its still wrong of me to do and i apologize if I accidentally do it anywhere in this post - it is an explanation and an invitation to hold me accountable without using it to destroy the whole point of my post.

DISCLAIMER #2: there is a lot of nuances to our relationship that I will never be able to describe in text. Such as the fact that as little kids, Peri and our other friends were the ones who “corrupted” my sense of humor (not in a problematic way, I was just a really naive little kid). We always made jokes about me being the least mature out of the group despite being the oldest.

DISCLAIMER #3: Yes, I made mistakes. No, I did not put out a callout about Peri “just to start shit”.  I have apologized for my mistakes and learned better, and would be happy to write another apology genuinely outlining what I did wrong if Peri didn’t lie about me at every given opportunity.

I never put a callout on Peri until now.  Maybe once when this first happened, i told people to unfollow him...I genuinely cant remember.  I know I added him to my carrd as DNI, but he did it first, and I did it in response to that.  And I removed it long ago.  He also mocked me for calling him my abuser after one of his friends block evaded me to tell me to fuck off, and I found out said friend did that because Peri had been calling me “a danger to minors”, a racist (Peri is white and kept making Hetalia jokes up to a few months before we stopped being friends even though literally I never did) and a lesbophobe (ok peri is a lesbian), and more important, accusing me of stalking.  His definition of stalking was to check his twitter profile obsessively.  I know he did this to me, because he mentioned one of my discourse threads about SPOP and misrepresented my argument (he said I called Catra abusive - I called Catradora toxic and clarified that Catra is not an abuser).  I’m not here to debate the definition of stalking, but heres the thing - at that point, it had been...I think 3 months after we broke off?  And I hadnt checked his twitter since a week after we broke up.  Literally.  I’m sure I have no way of proving that now, OVER A YEAR LATER, but it’s true. I have proof about the hetalia joke.  It was literally just a joke about my piccrews looking like America.  But considering years ago, Peri (and our shared abuser who I dont plan on discussing very much publicly for obvious reasons) were the ones who got me into Hetalia, it hits a very sore spot with me to call me a racist right alongside our shared abuser who would go by japanese names for the ~aesthetic~.  And thats the thing throughout all of this - did I do wrong by Peri? Absolutely, and I’m not going to remember everything flawlessly either. I’m not a flawless person and we were friends for like 7 years.  But Peri is acting like he’s never done anything wrong in his life.

He also has a pattern of doing this - he accused me and his ex-friend Rainy (me and Rainy are friends) of making fun of our abuser’s art constantly and probably now making fun of Peri’s art constantly (we did make fun of the abuser’s art, but tbh it was gallows humor, and still not something I’m proud of.  I have literally never made fun of Peri’s art.  In fact, it makes me feel awful that I have a pit in my stomach whenever I see it, because I always enjoyed Peri’s unique art style up until the day we split.)  He’s hurt so, SO many other people too.  I can think of 13 just off the top of my head.  The person who block evaded me to yell at me about something I literally never did?  Literally went through the same shit me and Rainy did.  Most of these people are not going to like me, and yet I could probably ask for their testimony and it would match my experience very closely, except the key difference being Peri gave up on them already.

Peri talked about me THREE TIMES in the last week (I believe - I didnt check dates and i literally found peri’s account accidentally while going through chicken smoothie. yes, it was my choice to scroll down and look for my name, but i was like, the second post on his tumblr and i was just trying to see if the posts were recent or old bc i thought he was inactive on here.

Here are all of the posts in case he deletes them - sorry I dont have timestamps, he went private so I cant get evidence, obviously.

Admittedly, the last one is pretty understandable, I feel the same way going through my old shit and seeing Peri’s posts/art/etc. But two times after that? But no I’m the one for starting shit, even though I can disprove both of this posts.

For that first post:

1. I didn’t debate shit, I asked a question because I saw a bi woman bring up a good point about why bi women shouldn’t be allowed to use butch/femme.  Admittedly, asking your closest (not only! just closest) lesbian friend about all lesbian issues is kind of a dick move, but I was just trying to figure out how to argue against that point so I could support my lesbian friends.  Now I realize that it’s wrong of me to bother getting involved on either side and I should just support my lesbian friends and their voices instead of getting directly involved.  Yes, I was wrong, but i did not argue with a lesbian about whether or not butch/femme can be used by nonlesbians, I was ASKING A QUESTION.

2. I was trying to be a supportive friend. He was crushing on Rainy - who was identifying as a gay (trans) man at the time by the way, but I only ever see Peri use this as evidence for me being lesbophobic, not homophobic and transphobic.  Gee I wonder why?  Oh right, it’s because Peri hates Rainy and doesn’t care.  Anyways, yes, it was wrong of me.  At the time I didn’t understand a lot about comphet so I was just trying to be supportive.  I do think I expressed relief when Peri said he and Rainy had broken up and realized their feelings were platonic, as i was confused about the whole situation.  I was trying not to gatekeep Peri from his own damn community, because I’m not going to tell him his feelings are invalid when I’m not a lesbian.  You cant get mad at me for policing lesbian labels, and then not policing lesbian labels enough- what??  I don’t think I did anything wrong per say in this situation because I was telling white lies to be a good friend but I do know better now and try to emphasize that “and if you find out its comphet and you’re still a lesbian then thats totally valid!!!” and in fact I even think I did that at the time??

Both of these instances (I believe) are buried on an old server that I no longer have access to.  It’s possible they still exist.  But I didn’t think this thing with Peri would last well over a year later so I didn’t bother documenting any of it.  If peri has the screenshots, I would love to see it.  This is not sarcasm, I genuinely want to be informed what I did wrong.  I have a lot of great friends now and I would hate to hurt them by repeating mistakes I don’t even remember making.  I can’t learn if I’m not informed.  Once again, this is not sarcasm, irony, or passive aggressive.  This is genuine.  All I ever asked from Peri was to talk to me.

These are the last messages we exchanged before Peri’s goodbye message.  This is what our relationship was like.  And do NOT fucking tell me “Peri is clearly uncomfortable” - I’m autistic, Peri is neurodivergent, I do NOT read into subtext.  I have an anxiety disorder and will literally never be able to function if I read into everything as passive aggressive.  My autism does not excuse abusive behavior - but if you do not tell me about this behavior, which Peri never did, I can never get better.  I do not read that “im fine” as a silent plead for me to leave him alone when he literally was always talking about how annoyed he was by people overanalyzing his responses, seeing hostility where there was none, and he specifically said not to read into short replies as anything personal.  He said he had compassion fatigue.  Which is why I left him be until I had no choice.

The last vent I mentioned said “Shitty friends, shitty friends” on his private twitter.  I was worried it was about me and Rainy, because I figured if it wasnt, he would’ve told us who it was about.  And he never did.  So I’m pretty sure it was about us.  After disappearing for the day and making me and Rainy worried that he was suicidal, he sent us this goodbye message in our mutual server (which the only reason i have this is because i sent it to another friend because i didnt know how to feel and needed guidance)

This goodbye letter, despite seeming nice on the surface, blamed the trauma that me and Rainy faced as well as our particular interests for Peri leaving us.  One of my boundaries in our friendship was to tell me if anything was wrong so I could improve it and be a better person, and Peri broke that trust.  He was absolutely a shitty friend in that regard.  But just this goodbye letter I would’ve bought despite being disappointed...if he hadn’t called us shitty before.

By the way, at the time, the only thing I could think this would be about was not trusting Peri’s gut about some randos.  Rainy and I wanted to give those people a fair shot, and Peri accused us of not trusting him because of it.  You do not get to dictate who your friends do and dont hang out with, and you dont get to guilt trip them for hanging out with someone who has literally done nothing to you except act a little bit too much like our shared abuser Moony, wtf?

Peri also accused me of saying he and Moony were the same, when I did no such thing.  Rainy did!  And I immediately chastized Rainy for it, clarifying that I thought they were two different beasts entirely.

I forgot what I was talking about uhhh.  Oh yeah!

I’m not the one still talking about you over a year later.  I’ve moved on.  Remove me from your DNFI.  I didn’t remove you from mine because I realized I was the abuser and you were the victim - I removed you because I’m fucking done with this situation.  I only brought it up with your friend because you LITERALLY BLAMED MY INTERESTS AT THE TIME IN YOUR FAKE-ASS APOLOGY.  And what were me and Rainy talking about a bunch at the time?  Digimon!!  Aka the person who I talked to’s special interest!  I told them I would fuck off if they asked and I encouraged them to talk to you about it and have a genuine conversation.  Because I, unlike you, am a good person who lets people come to their own conclusions.

Also, you were 2 weeks away from being 16, and I was a few months into being 18.  Here are some of our conversations about becoming QPPs!

Should I have entered a QPR with my 7+ year friend who literally shaped me into who I am today when they were almost 16 and I was already several months into being 18?  Probably not!  But adulthood isn’t just some switch that goes off, and I was a dumbass.  Peri’s current GF is apparently being accused of being a predator, or something, according to one of Peri’s other posts?  I dont know whats happening because im not! a fucking! stalker! but Peri of all people should know what it’s like to have a small age gap blown into something bigger than it is.  Peri and I’s relationship didn’t change a whole lot after becoming QPPs - we were still close friends.  But after literally growing up with Peri, I didn’t realize that I needed to enact healthy boundaries with someone so young when they were the one who used to “troll” me when we were kids (AKA pretend to be mad at me or pretend to be someone else and then say “haha just kidding!” just to cause problems).

Peri has clearly built me up to be some kind of villain in his head.  And that’s fine, I really don’t care.  I go months without thinking of Peri, and he’s just a bad memory whenever I do think of him - well until I found out he’s calling me a pedophile and accusing me of making callouts that I never did and generally has been a pot calling the white marble countertop grey for the past year or so.  But I dont care.  I DONT CARE.

But if you want me to stop warning people about you, its simple.  Stop spreading lies about me.  Take my name out of your public vocabulary.  Take me and Rainy off your DNFI.  I do not think about you, I do not talk to people about you very often, most of my current friends didn’t know the things you did until today because I had no reason to tell them.

For anyone uninitiated - all you need to know is that this person’s tumblr title is “an aphobic [reclaimable slur]” and so by admission they like to harass other minorities for fun.  Seriously, you don’t have to be an ace inclusionist or even believe aphobia is real to just be a nice person, what the fuck?  This post in particular is extremely telling.

Also they retweeted a post from someone with the username “panphobe” so.

Just a few notes.  Hope the asexual who stans a literal stated aphobe gets tired of licking that boot soon.  And Peri too.  Your obsession with me is more unhealthy to you than it is to me.  Just...drop it.  I will only add to this if more accusations are thrown my way.   I am done with you.  You have a repeated behavior of this shit, and I want to add more things but they’re heresay from other people so I don’t feel comfortable adding them.  But yeah.  Stop hurting people.  Stop bullying people and being angry and aggressive for fun.  You’re not as cute as you think you are.  There’s a reason this shit keeps happening to you.  Get better soon.

As for me, I think I’ll spend the next three months going back to forgetting you exist.  I liked it there.  But you can keep thinking I’m stalking you if you’d like.  I have all the proof and evidence I need that you’re a fucking liar right here.  And most of your tweets accusing me of shit are deleted too.  Now leave me the fuck alone.

PS, even if aroaces arent oppressed, sending them hate messages based on something they cant control is really shitty :) its not like we’re still a minority group or anything!  I’m also literally trans, so you’re proving the fact that the bad exclusionists always target other LGBTs who happen to be aspec for their harassment :) but keep it going keep it going, every spiteful message sent to me specifically because im aspec and part of the LGBT community just fuels my agenda.

[winking]

♧ :/

You’re my: wholesome mutualHow I met you: hmmm.... im actually not sure... i think i followed u bc we had similar mutuals so i was like why not....Why I follow you: ur just a rlly sweet person...and i love u alot :/ thats a good enough reasonYour blog is: a good blogYour URL is: a fact. also cuteYour icon is: cute as wellA random fact I know about you: hmmm njnfjkewn not rlly a fact but....i think u accidentally unfollowed me once and i was so confused dkjfenk and for 2 days i was like...what does this mean.....does she want me to unfollow back nfewkjnfe and i ddint unfollow bc i was like....addy....is such a nice person :/ n i love her :/ an d i can live through this heartbreak General opinion: i kno we rlly dont talk!! but i honestly think we could be close friends :/ i think ur funny and nice and thats like...my favorite qualities of a friend kjfewk trust me that means alot bc i never want to make friends on here dkjewnk just the truth :/ i just suck at talking but... once i get my messaging back ill appreciate it moreA random thought I have:  im rlly tired i wanna go to sleep also season 9 of rupaul is better than season 8 also my eyes feel like theyre burning

 Mutuals send me “♧“ and I’ll do this!

[tabitha-whisper-willow]

so incase yall haven’t noticed

i disappear from this blog for most of the year, and there are actually two very good reasons for that.

reason 1 (which is something all new witches who struggle with mental health need to be aware of!!!) is eating disorder recovery and let me tell you, when all your thoughts are about how you dont deserve food, love, or should punish yourself, any witchcraft you do tends to backfire and turn into accidental self curses. so i stay away from witchcraft when i relapse because apparently i am very good at accidentally (on purpose) cursing myself, and trying to uncurse myself which backfires again, and makes the curse stronger.

reason 2 is that when i get into doing all my magic, i like to cast spells, and i tend to cast a lot of them, all in a row because i am impatient and have adhd and i want to hyperfocus on witchcraft, which is very fun! until the universe gets confused with me after casting spells in a constant stream over a long span of time and the outcomes of all my spells get very muddled and tangled and messy in ways that i cannot fix.

SO my solution to all of this? Plan out my spells throughout the year and do all my witchy stuff in one season, and what witchy person DOESNT love the fall and halloween? so if i knock the spells out when i am hyperfocused, it gives me the rest of the year to chill out and give them the time they need to fully unfold. AND i get to celebrate samhain because it is MY FAVORITE, and an excellent time for me to be in the magic mood. 

so please, if you see that i am inactive, and think im no longer a part of the community and want to unfollow, just remember i come back every fall, this is my third year doing so and at this point it is a reliable pattern. and i could use the support! and friends. 

[77777777777777777]

hello i'm too paranoid about my twitter being seen by irls and i need somewhere to talk about whatever so i guess it'll go here

i'm very scared of being stealth and like idk why because i Am and i seriously doubt that after a month someone is gonna be like omg wtf why r u so fem??? bc i've come to the conclusion that no one cares that much

but like i still have this overwhelming urge to tell people and like i told one of my flatmates friends for some godforsaken reason (alcohol) and the reaction i got was 'haha yeah obviously' *gestures to my waist/hips/thighs* and im like HAHAHAHHA ILL PRETEND LIKE THAT DIDNT MAKE ME SUICIDAL ,

after that comment my ed related issues have come back w a vengeance and its like hahaha idk why every time i 'recover' from restricting i just eat whatever and then end up confused about why im gaining weight and its bc i eat like my 6'3 athletic flatmate and i am. not 6'3 or athletic

but on the whole uni has been suspiciously too good and by suspicious i mean like my anxiety is there lurking in the bg like 'ur gonna fuck this up somehow' but honestly i don't really care

i'm kind of concerned that the course is too easy but i think that's mostly bc it's still really getting started but idk. no one on my course rly talks but we've been forced into groups for a group project and i'm in a group with maybe the prettiest girl i've ever seen which is doing wonders for the whole sexuality questioning issues that have come back for whatever reason

tinder experience so far has been matching w the 2 people i accidentally swiped on and then hiding my profile and not messaging them ever

but like idk. if anyone were to ask me if i thought i was struggling id say no and the only real issue i could think of to talk about is my attention issues ? idk if that's just because i'm so used to the anxiety and disordered eating that it doesn't even worry me anymore and maybe that is an issue in itself but idk

leaving bham and unfollowing all of the people (apart from 2 🙄) who put my ex on my tl (even though i have him muted and blocked) has been maybe the best decision i've ever made

i really thought i would be nothing after everything that's happened the last two years but look at me go. i am really (almost) living the dream

[lizbotw]

aaa for the character and song suga and helpless from hamilton please-? also I HIT THE UNFOLLOW BUTTON INSTEAD OF ASK IM SORRY HHHH I LOVE YOUR WORK

HELPLESS | SUGAWARA

you have me in my hamilton feels now, good job. AND OMG IT’S OKAY LMAO tysm for the support omg ur so cute and sweet, ilysm wtf :( ♡ making me cry

“What do you think of him?”

You stopped dribbling the basketball and turned to face Kiyoko—her hair tied up into a ponytail, the school gym uniform on—confused.

You didn’t get what she meant (or rather you did, but...). “What?”

“What?” Her face was set dead serious.

You scowled. “What do you mean what? You’re the one who asked the question.”

There was a stare-off between you two before giggles erupted out of her and she hid them behind her hand, eyes squeezing closed. You huffed and turned your attention back to rolling the ball between your two palms, feeling the ridges of its outline. She was laughing at your expense but you couldn’t fault her because you had done the same to her countless times. You also knew that she was onto you, no matter how well you tried to hide it.

“You know who I mean.”

“No I don’t.”

“Suga.”

Your jaw clenched at the words, trying to maintain a hard exterior, but on the inside your heart was beating rapidly at the mere mention of his name. “I don’t know.”

Heads over heels in love is what you wanted to say.

Wanting the conversation to end, you readied the basketball in your hands, bent your knees and jumped a little to shoot for the net high up by the backboard.

Miss. The ball bounced on the rim and came to roll right by your feet. You planted one foot on top of it to stop the momentum and out of the corner of your eye saw Kiyoko looking at you. “I never said I was good.”

She was back to smiling and you knew you could never be mad at her. “You know that’s not what I’m thinking about.” You wished she was just talking about your sucky basketball skills and not the boy of your infatuations.

The coach’s whistle rang out through the area—gym class was over. You scoped up the ball from below your feet and followed behind Kiyoko to the exit of the gym to the connected locker room, eyes roaming over the space as you watched the other students abandon the activities they’d been doing as well.

“Whatever.”

“You forgot this.”

You jolted, accidentally kicking your desk and causing it to move with a screech that echoed through the classroom. Eyes wide, you turned to see who had snuck up on you. Brown eyes were the first thing you were drawn to, then the shock of silver hair, and finally the worried expression and the badly concealed smile that was slowly overtaking it.

“Did I startle you?” A small laugh spilled out of him. “Sorry, I don’t mean to laugh, it’s just— that was cute.” You could tell he wasn’t sorry.

You tried to ignore the burn of his words in your chest and the flips your stomach was doing. “What are you even doing here?”

“Well...” He rubbed the back of his neck and that’s when you noticed two brown paper bags clutched in his hand. “You forgot your lunch in my class when you came to see Daichi this morning. Thought you might be looking for it.”

The lunch period had only just started, so you didn’t even have time to miss your lunch before Suga had brought it. He must’ve rushed over here to give it to you as soon as class was dismissed, although you chose not to point that out.

“Can I sit here?” He was pointing to the empty chair next to you where Kiyoko had just been sitting. Wait—where was Kiyoko? Knowing her she must’ve ran off as soon as she saw him coming in order to give you guys some “alone time.” You cursed her in your mind, although the reminder of his question and the way his gaze was so fully focused on you made you forgive her instantly.

You looked again at the two bags he held, recognizing yours where you’d scribbled your name on the front this morning, and understanding at once that the other was his—he’d planned this.

You smiled. “I’d like that.”

Time: 1:35 A.M.

From Suga: Are you up?

From (Y/N): No.

From Suga: Haha, very funny. Anyway look outside your window.

From (Y/N): So it was YOU who kept throwing rocks at it when I was trying to sleep. I can’t believe this.

From Suga: I confess to nothing. Now are you coming or not? These meat buns are going to get cold so maybe I should just eat them all myself—

From (Y/N): CLIMBING OUT THE WINDOW RN

“Where’d you get that?” Kiyoko thumbed the smooth pendent that hung from a silver chain around your neck. Your last initial and “S” were carved into it. It was painfully obvious what it stood for.

“Nowhere.” You didn’t look her in the eye, but she understood.

“When?”

“Saturday.”

Her lips curled up into a smile and you were thoroughly embarrassed. “I’m expecting to hear the whole story later.” How had you gotten so lucky to be best friends with someone who was willing to listen to your constant lovesick rants?

“And then he—”

You heard her out of breath, laughing on the other end of the phone. “Okay, okay, I get it,” she managed out, “he’s perfect and charming and—”

“No, no, he’s so much more than that, you see.” You were giddy with excitement, rolling around on your bed as you squealed over the phone with her, the grin stretching across your face starting to hurt your cheekbones, although you couldn’t bring yourself to care.

There was a hum of contemplation on the other side. “You know, I don’t think I quite see. Why don’t you explain it more to me?” Her teasing tone was like music to your ears and was one of the last things she managed to get in before you launched into another night-long tangent about him.

“You think this’ll work?”

“Of course it’ll work, this is what they do in movies all the time.”

Suga narrowed his eyes. “I’m serious, Daichi, I don’t want to mess this up.”

Daichi sighed, crossing his arms. “How many times have we had this conversation already?”

“Five times,” Asahi provided helpfully from next to him.

“Thank you, Asahi. And how many times have you almost said, ‘I love you,’ Suga?”

Suga looked away, lips pressed into a line. He knew Daichi was right. “More than five times,” he mumbled.

“Exactly. This is getting out of hand.” Noticing Suga’s worried expression though, he clapped a reassuring hand on his back. “You’ve never been worried about things like this before, get it together.” And with that, he turned to go, Asahi falling into step with him. “Go get ‘em, tiger,” Daichi called back, looking like he was enjoying this a little too much.

“We’ll be waiting on the bleachers if you need us,” Asahi reminded him.

And then he was alone.

Suga stared down at the box in his hand. This time it was a bracelet. Funny how you’d gotten matching necklaces on a whim before either of you had made it official—then again, you both knew what it was that you had. There was no one else he’d rather be stuck with at 2 A.M. on top of a hill, watching the quiet pull of the lake below, your words spilling out of you and filling the space and your laughter lighting up the night sky.

You still deserved for him to seal the deal though.

It was strange, but he found himself missing you even though it had only been a day. But right now he was alone and overthinking this whole thing—what if he had misunderstood how you felt?

Wait— no— not alone. The sound of footsteps nearby clued him in on someone’s arrival. You were here. You peeked your head around the corner before he had a chance to prepare himself and he quickly hid the box behind his back out of surprise.

“Suga?”

“You’re here.” He almost face palmed for stating the obvious, but was thankful when you didn’t point it out.

Instead you said, “You look like you saw a ghost.”

More like an angel. The fact that even those few words had his face burning with the desire to be closer to you reminded him how completely at your mercy he was.

Looking at the way your gaze softened and you stepped closer to him, he remembered how you’d done the same thing so many times before and now there was no question in his mind that you felt the same way—from the second you saw each other you were both helpless. Perhaps now it was time to completely surrender control.