#i think for two people who were never going to be capable of normal attachment styles the next best thing

[holygroundgone]

I guess it just makes me sad. In mxtx's work and meatbun's 2ha there's ultimately this undercurrent with basically all the main couples of "i see you for who you are and i still love you for it, every part of you, even the 'ugly parts'" when those characters are frequently mentally ill and often toxic because of it, making what could be considered unforgivable mistakes

And of course from one angle you could consider that romanticization of unhealthy relationship dynamics but there's also this underlying sense of "even if i'm broken i want to do my best for you to love you and make you happy" that is so meaningful to me and resonates with my own experiences and frankly changes everything in my opinion

[justcallmecj]

When Dragons Meet

"HII can I request a fluff Malleus x dragon reader (but like in friend way) Malleus meeting dragon reader for the first time. I think would be funny. Malleus being curious since the only dragons he know is himself and his family." Courtesy of- Ghost (On AO3)

Malleus's POV

        The first week of school went by just like they did the past two years. Fear. Avoidance. No one to talk too. Sure, there was Lilia, Silver and Sebek to keep him company, but they always have. Malleus wanted something new to do. Someone new to talk too.

        Unfortunately there was no one. No students were brave enough to approach the imposing Malleus Draconia. The only one with no care was Leona Kingscholar, and he only spoke to Malleus to start a fight, which Malleus could never bring himself to truly care about.

        The halls were empty, void of life and sound. Malleus ended up staying after classes to go gargoyle hunting, even if he has seen every gargoyle Nigh Raven College has to offer a hundred times over. It was a day like every other, and without his family in Diasomnia, nothing to truly do.

        Malleus found himself in the courtyard, so lost in his own thoughts that he didn't even remember making his way there. The courtyard isn't new to Malleus either, he could even name the century every gargoyle around was made. It was such an innate thought to him that he simply started rattling off dates to himself in a whisper, barely loud enough for even himself to hear.

        "Wow, that is an impressive memory. How do you do that?" a voice nearby asked. No, it wasn't nearby, the voice had the same quality of being far away, but Malleus' hearing allowed him to hear with no problem. Malleus turned around into the direction the voice came from. There was no one immediately in sights, so it took Malleus a moment to find who had asked him the question.

        Eventually, his eyes settled on a pristine white tail, lazily hanging from a tree branch all the way on the other end of the courtyard. He was unable to see the person the tail was attached to, being this far and them hiding within the branches of the tree. Regardless, the tail looked familiar, and Malleus suddenly had a theory he wanted to test.

        Making no attempt to get closer to his mysterious guest, like he normally would, he stayed put and simply spoke, only rising the volume of his voice from a almost soundless whisper to a quite speaking voice.

        "What was the question? I apologize, I was a little distracted." he asked. Malleus felt his pointed ears twitch when a giggle reached him. He caught sight of the tail lifting and suddenly reaching further down, along with the faint sound of rustling clothes and the flutter of something large. They must have sat up.

        "I said that you have an impressive memory. How do you do it?" There voice was so relaxed, not tinged with fear or painfully tense like Malleus is used to hearing from people. Does this person not know who he is? Or do they simply not care or feel afraid?

        "Well, I have a strong fascination with gargoyles, so learning the when and how of their creation comes with the territory, so I feel it is only natural." he answered. Again, Malleus is only speaking in a quite voice, and this person on the other end of the courtyard is capable of holding a conversation with him with no problems.

        "That's fair. If something interests you, why wouldn't you know that kind of stuff? Still impressive though." they responded. Malleus heard the quiet sound of scales brushing against wood, a sound he is quite used to. (No one will speak of the numerous trees he flew into when he was young.)

        Malleus finally decided it was time he found out who this mystery guest of his is. Filled with hope that this growing theory in his head was true, he made his way across the courtyard. However, he is not rude enough to keep someone waiting in a conversation, so he still spoke as he walked.

        "You sound like you speak from experience. Do you have any interests you are particularly fond of?" he asked. He was about halfway across the courtyard now, and he heard as the person adjusted in the branch again, seemingly to get a better view of him.

        "Yeah, I have a few. Maybe not any that will test my memory like your history of gargoyles, but I like them regardless." Just as Malleus was coming closer, a pair of equally white wings slowly fell into view, relaxing and finding purchase on two smaller branches that seemed to have grown perfectly for this exact person to use.

        "Well, an interest is an interest, no matter how big or small." he supplied. He was finally under the tree, and could perfectly see the person he's been speaking too.

        Up in the tree, lazying around, was another fae, a dragon type to be more exact, just like him.

        Their wings, tail and horns were a pristine white and seemed to be well taken care of. They wore the uniform of Pomefiore, however they have ditched the school blazer and had a few of the top and bottom buttons of their colored vest undone. It seemed they had done so to allow themself more breathing room and to get comfortable. Unprofessional, but school was technically over, so Malleus could understand.

        "Glad you think so." they said. They sat up the rest of the way, allowing their legs to dangle over the edge of their resting branch and lifting their wings, tucking them close to their back, but with how big their wings were, they still under over the edge of the branch. "What would you name be mister?"

        "Please, no need to call me mister." It made Malleus feel old, like how Lilia feels when people back in The Valley of Thorns call him 'Sir Lilia' or his other old titles. But, this person asked for his name. Of that is so, then they must truly not know who he is. If Malleus told them his name, would they recognize it and connect the dots? Would they fear him like everyone else does?

        But, they are a fae like him, even more so than Lilia and Sebek. Have they faced the same prejudice and feelings he has? With they feel empathy instead of fear?

        Is that a risk Malleus is willing to take with this potential new friend?

        "Why don't you give me a name? I am curious what you may come up with." No. It's not a risk he's willing to take. Maybe they will find out on their own after this, but maybe there is a chance their attitude towards him will not change when they do. And if his luck runs out, he can at least say he enjoyed the company while he had it.

        Malleus met their eyes once again. They seemed to be in deep thought, tossing the request around in their head. A smile that Malleus can't describe as anything but wicked took over their face.

        "How about Tsunotaro then? I think it fits you well." They smiled more gently, resting their head on the branch and swaying their tail near Malleus' face, a cold spike just barely brushing against his nose playfully. When Malleus sneezed due to it, they simply laughed and moved their tail again.

        Tsunotaro. A name basically meaning 'Mr. Horns'. Quite literal, but Malleus had to agree. It fit.

        "Then let it be so. I am 'Tsunotaro'. And what is your name, if I may ask." They smiled again and wrapped their hands tightly around their supporting branch, a glint of sharp claws digging into the bark. With a movement too quick to be human, they jumped off the branch and swung off, landing a a good couple feet away from the tree.

        They turned towards Malleus, playfully bowing in a show of their skill, to which Malleus chuckled and gave a small clap, and then walked toward him.

        That was strange. A movement as simple as walking towards someone was nothing important or new in everyday life, but for Malleus it felt alien. No one simply walked to him. They walked or ran away, subtly giving him a wide birth as he walked through the halls.

        But this person did it so normally. There was no fear or trepidation or tenseness in their muscles. A gentle and friendly smile on their lips. An unhurried feel to their walk, like they had no intention to get out of there as quickly as they can. It was new to Malleus.

        The unnamed fae stopped right in front of Malleus, a move no other at this school has had the bravery to do. Now that they are on the ground, Malleus saw that, while he still has them beat in height by a couple inches, they are still quite tall. It didn't matter but it was a thought that made Malleus have to hold back a chuckle.

        Their hand came up to meet his, a friendly handshake, one that Malleus returns. "My name is Y/N. Y/N L/N. It's great to meet you." Their tail swayed behind them gently as they speak, pure relaxation radiated off their body.

        "It is a pleasure to meet you Mx. Y/N" Malleus returned. Y/N laughed, placing a hand over their mouth in an attempt to stop themself. They failed.

        "No, please don't call me Mx. Y/N. Makes me feel old. Plus, we're friends now, so there is no need for formalities Tsunotaro." Their hand release his. Their skin, matched with a few hidden scales, was cold. It wasn't hard to see that Y/N was an ice dragon, but despite that, Malleus's hand still felt warm from the handshake.

        Friends. Y/N said that they were now friends. Malleus has never really had a friend. There was Lilia, but Lilia raised Malleus, more a parent than anything. There was also Silver, but Malleus can remember when Silver was nothing but a baby and even helped Lilia to take care of the little baby. Silver didn't feel like a 'friend'. There was also Sebek, but Malleus felt that Sebek took his duty as Malleu's guard a little to seriously, which got in the way of the whole 'friend' thing.

        But this person. The one who looked at him with curiosity and warmth despite their own nature as an ice dragon. The one who teased him while lazying around in a tree. The one who essentially named him 'Mr. Horns.' The one who refused honorifics under the pretense of being 'friends' even if they had only met him some ten minutes ago and didn't even know his name.

        They felt like a friend.

        A ring went off in the courtyard.

        "Oh, sorry. That's my phone." Y/N said. They pulled their hand held device out of their pocket, something Malleus still struggles to understand, and began to read something on it. When they were done, they looked up at Malleus with a apologetic sadness in their eyes.

        "I'm sorry Tsunotaro, I have somewhere I need to be in a few minutes. It's best I leave now so I don't end up late." That was understandable. Malleus is a prince, he understands one must always be punctual.

        "Of course. I understand. If you must leave, then please do." he said with a slight nod of his head. The look in their eyes brought a lonely sadness to Malleus's heart, but he could handle it.

        "Okay. Well, I'll make sure to be on the lookout in the halls for you from now on. I'd love to pick up our conversation on gargoyles." They winked as if to punctuate their words. It brought a genuine laugh to Malleus' chest, one he made no attempt to hide.

        "I will be waiting for that day."

        There is always a chance Y/N finds out who he is before they see each other next and that conversation will never come, but for now, Malleus will allow himself to hang on to the hope that it will.

        Y/N turned and started to make their way across the courtyard. At some point, before Malleus could tun away himself, they turned and began to walk backwards. They waved enthusiastically and shouted a goodbye. Malleus returned the gesture.

        And just as Malleus had turned to begin his walk to Diasomnia, he heard a whisper. A quiet noise among the wind. But no matter how quite it was, Malleus heard it and knew that he was meant to, they those words were made for him to hear, that Y/N knew he would hear them.

        "Goodbye, Malleus. Hope we can talk again soon."

I get that the relationship between Y/N and Malleus here can be read as either the beginnings of romance or just platonic, but the request specified platonic so I hope I got that across. I found it a little harder to write than romance and my thoughts literally were 'why is this harder than romance?!?" {Looks at my AO3 reading history: 'oh, nvm') Also, I did not go back and proofread because I wanted to get it done and posted, so sorry about any mistakes.

[jjneedssleep]

anya (mouthwashing) and ellen ripley (alien 1979)

tw spoilers, sexual assault/rape, suicide

i dont post anywhere i hate making posts on social media but i need my thoughts to be heard and translated by someone out there.

mouthwashing is an incredible game and i love its references and inspiration from alien 1979, but the one thing i want to talk about as a connection between them in this post is the core theme of sexual violence horror. the entire alien movie is built off the concept of sexual violence horror and mouthwashing as a game is very similar and shares that theming.

if you did not know, anya from mouthwashing was assaulted and became pregnant because of it. when her rapist finds out about it, he crashes the ship in an attempt to get everyone on-board killed so he does not have to face the consequences of his actions. her trauma and grief are explored through psychedelic guilt episodes of her abuser but he never takes accountability for it. she ends up killing herself. im not going to analyze her because i think there are other people with much more in-depth commentaries on her than me, and this post is mainly to connect the two.

in alien 1979, every aspect of the movie is linked in some way to its core theme, that being the horror of sexual violence and unwanted pregnancies. the main cast is "born" (awoken) from cryosleep, naked in a dark "womb", taken care of by an ai named 'mother'. they go to a planet and find many eggs of an unknown species. one of them hatches and the creature inside attaches itself to a crewmate named kane. this is the rape of kane, the creature becomes stuck to his face with a long phallic tube stuck down his throat and it cannot be removed. the tube keeps him healthy but it also impregnates him. after the creature is eventually removed, he returns to 'normal', although very clearly traumatized and easily sickened, only for him to give birth in a violent and painful way that ends his life. then the creature born hunts down the remaining crewmembers, and in a cut scene we're shown that its keeping each human it captures alive so as to use them for reproduction. kidnapping and rape. ellen ripley is betrayed by a coworker named ash, who is an android controlled by 'mother', revealing that every human on board was planned to die from the very start to harbor the beast and bring it back to earth. he then attacks her, no, assaults her, attempting to kill her by forcing a rolled tube of pornography down her throat. this is another rape. later, when the other two surviving crewmembers are attacked by the alien, there is heavy implication that the alien does sexually assault the other female character, lambert. it sensually wraps its tail around her leg and up her thigh, and we're just shown her horrified expression before she's killed off-screen with a horrible scream. ripley manages to escape alone onto an escape pod, only for the alien to have followed her onto it. she is in her underwear for the final confrontation, naked in every sense; vulnerable and alone and reduced to her body. she backs into a closet space and slips into a space-suit, and manages to eject it from the pod. she ends her journey by going back into cryosleep, naked, alone. to be rebirthed somewhere else.

theres a lot that can be said about both ellen ripley and anya, and i really want to see someone else more capable of in-depth thought write something between these two. in my opinion, anya is a different ellen ripley. shes an ellen ripley who was not hurt by an otherworldly alien that tears apart her friends. she was hurt by someone she was supposed to trust, and nobody defended her. there was no flamethrower to fight him off, no button to slam to eject him from the ship. he was a monster and he killed them all, but not in the same way. i think anya could've ended up like ellen ripley, and i think ellen ripley could've ended up like anya. both were survivors just as much as they were victims. both deserved better. both were doomed to die by a company that didnt care about them, by a captain that was too 'big-pictured' to save them, by a 'new captain' that forced himself onto them violently and with nothing but hate.

[neptune-scythe]

one thing about me is I will headcanon any and every character as some form of asexual, aromantic, or aplatonic because let's face it, there just isn't enough representation and canon content to satisfy

and because honestly any character, regardless of their canon interactions with sex or romance or friendship can still be on any of the spectrums, so there's literally no character that couldn't be a-spec

BUT

asexual Buck

i've got two headcanons that bounce around inside my head and make me feral

so first is fraysexual Buck who is only interested in sexing it up with strangers, people he doesn't know all that well or have any type of emotional connection or attachment to. This Buck probably doesn't put much thought into it or know enough about it to use the label, and even when the relationship does go farther and that attraction fades, he probably ignores that and just does it anyway because the romantic attraction is still there and he doesn't know enough to understand the nature of his attraction and accept it. So he just keeps at it for the sake of his partners even though he has no desire to do so for his own self.

I like to think this Buck also doesn't separate romantic and sexual attraction, so to him they're the same thing, which is why in a romantic buddie scenario, he doesn't understand those feelings (I prefer them as queerplatonic/alterous but there's something about them being romantic in this scenario that makes my brain go brrrr). Because whatever sexual attraction he had towards Eddie he turned into jealousy and was convinced was actually just all negative feelings and dislike (and complicated more by him not understanding his bisexuality yet and that he could even be attracted to a man in that way), and then they got close so fast, their emotional bond and connection formed so quickly that the attraction faded very soon as well, too soon to put much thought into it or realize what it actually was. And because in his mind, romance and sex are one and the same, he can't be romantically attracted to Eddie because he is definitely not sexually attracted to him.

Thus why even upon realizing he's bisexual and capable of being attracted to men romanticly or sexually, he doesn't include Eddie in that revelation at all, or have any clarity there.

but my personal favourite headcanon

asexual Buck who never knew that was something people could be or that it was okay to be that, so he just did it because he thought that's what people were "supposed" to do, and even though he didn't like it, never felt the desire to do it, somehow it made him feel normal because he was doing what everyone else was.

And somewhere deep in the back of his mind he knew he was asexual, knew he was different, and he felt broken and wrong because of it. So even though he didn't actually enjoy it, it calmed that fear in the back of his mind that there was something fundamentally wrong with him, so he just pushed aside whatever discomfort he had in the process in favour of being "normal". But he over compensates, he's searching so desperately to be normal and ok that he goes to far, he throws himself at strangers and anyone who will have him, anything to silence that voice in the back of his mind that knows that's not who he is.

And to make matters worse, its attention, what he always wanted but rarely got, it's the feeling that he matters, that he can make other people happy, that he'll have value.

It's not just that he throws himself into those situations, it's that people welcome him into it, they choose him. So yet again, even though he doesn't actually like it, doesn't really want to be doing it, he does ... because the feeling of being wanted, being chosen, and accepted if even for a moment is better than his physical discomfort and the voice in the back of his mind that begs to just be true to himself. But he can't listen because this is the only way people want or need him.

Maybe this Buck is greysexual, or aceflux ... or even apothisexual, but he definitely doesn't feel that attraction, he has no desire for that relationship other than for the attention and the fleeting feeling of being important to someone, or that his life has value because he's letting himself be used for the benefit of those around him.

And one day he'll realize he isn't broken because he doesn't want that type of relationship or never feels that attraction, that he doesn't have to fit some mold or perform a fake life to be okay and normal and acceptable.

[h2llish]

idia rambles nehehe.

i address ortho by his name, but i call ortho (dead brother) by referring to him as idia's brother.

he's an asshole. he has the biggest inferiority complex yet also a superiority complex. he'll make harsh comment about someone (usually accidental, i've come to realize), yet he's also so shitty to himself and so insecure. which is actually not as shocking as it may sound. just like how vil is both insecure and confident in his beauty, idia is obviously confident in his gaming and tech abilities, while remaining insecure, which i think stems from the isolation he experienced growing up and the loss of his brother.

so, first i want to acknowledge his social anxiety, or just anxiety in general. it's actually not too unrealistic compared to other media. anxiety comes in unassigned levels. some people experience anxiety on a quieter side, while others experience it on a level where it makes it difficult to so much as interact with someone before they're thrown into an anxiety attack. this represents idia perfectly. (i would know myself, as i had a meltdown anytime stepping a foot into public was brought up regardless of how hard i tried to step outside my house, but i got therapy and i'm a lot better. no more extreme meltdowns!)

his anxiety definitely stems from the isolation he experienced growing up. he had no one but his brother and the adults who roamed the styx halls. he had no friends, and growing up, was seen as a prodigy of sorts; he was intelligent and capable, and of course, the next shroud to styx.

and then he lost his brother, ultimately leading him into a complete meltdown that led him to building his brother into a robot. he hated himself and missed his brother so much that he ended up completely creating a new brother to cope. it was actually a terrible method of grieving, but it's not like he had anyone there to help him through it; his parents didn't seem to reach out and try to help him move on from his brother's death, and cope with the fact that he is not at fault.

he had no friends, and didn't think he could make or keep any, because of his station at styx. he seen online friends as easier to hold because there's nothing face to face, no need to explain his personal life, he held no emotional attachment that comes with irl friends.

he goes nonverbal when speaking to someone and chooses to speak using his ipad. he is so self-conscious about himself, like his looks for one, and overthinks every interaction he has. like i said, his superiority complex mostly stems from his capabilities in gaming and tech, but he has no confidence in any other aspect of his life.

i don't see many people attacking him for what he did during his overblot (ykw, trying to take over the world), which is pretty biased just because his trauma is "worse", but now i'm gonna address that.

he and his brother only really wanted to go out into the world, they wanted to be normal and make friends, and play games with those friends. but when idia tried to give them that, he lost his brother. but it wasn't his fault, he was still a child. a child who was cut off and isolated and expected to live up to expectations since he was going to take over styx in the future.

ortho is connected to his brother, ortho is his brother, just not the one he tried to replace. so, when ortho was drawn to the soul of his brother in the underworld and remembered vil's and rook's words, he felt like what he was doing was right, to help idia who had never properly grieved.

idia was never approached for what happen, he was never given the proper comfort and help in his grieving process after the death of his brother, and ortho and his brother knew that. they were two children who wanted to help their brother who was still grieving despite how much he remained unaware of that himself.

when he heard his dead's brother's voice and ortho, saying they would change the world, they could make friends, and they no longer had to live the way they do. blot built despite his curse and he overblotted because he never properly grieved. that grief and anger at himself added on until it piled over enough to go against a curse.

idia's trauma goes deep, very deep. and it's sad what he and his brother(s) went through.

if he had gained the proper grieving council he needed from his parents, maybe things would've gone differently. although his life cannot be changed, having support, and acknowledgement from his parents could've helped steer from his overblot.

although things ended okay in the end, with his brothers both there in soul, and his life no longer suffocated by isolation and a secret, it's sad that an overblot had to get him there.

[alvaeris]

Blood, Love Language, Stigma, Unique, Zenith

this ask a month old but i suddenly felt inspired so i’m sorry to whoever sent this 😭

Blood: What is the most extreme thing you think you’re capable of doing in real life for your darling? What’s the worst thing you have already done?

this really depends on what ‘for your darling’ is referring to, because i can see two possible ways this question would go; how far i’d go at their request and how far i’d go in my dedication to them, the main difference being that in one of the scenarios, they are my primary motivation, and in the other, i am motivating myself. for the former, i’d quite literally do anything within my power. they could ask my to do anything, and i’d attempt it to the best of my ability. this ends at harming other people. i would not hurt anyone other than myself at their command, at least not physically. emotionally, well, i’d do it. even if it ruined my friendship with others. my darling would be more important. when it comes to myself, though, there are truly very few things i would stop at. i would physically harm myself, change things about me, cut off other people for them. all they would have to do would be to ask.

the other way in which i see this question, as in what i would do myself without them asking, is anything to make them comfortable around me. the most extreme thing i have done is completely eradicate my sleep schedule, as in, get just over two to three hours of sleep at night, staying up late for them on school days everyday for over a year and a half because they wanted to talk to me. those were….. interesting times. 😭 i feel sorry for everyone who had to deal with me. i was always grumpy because i was sleep deprived. another would be starving myself for them, because i don’t know. if i feel like i wanted to punish myself i would do that. that still happens sometimes now, though i don’t have a darling, so just really in general. the most extreme thing i see myself doing is killing myself, specifically if they start disliking me or anything like that. in my head, i want makes them happy, and if makes them happy is never seeing me again, i’d make that happen.

all in all, they could make me totally sabotage myself, which i don’t particularly want for myself right now, so for any future darling, please don’t misuse the power you hold over my emotions!!

Love Language: What are your giving and receiving love languages? How does this apply to your darling?

quality time and physical touch! i love giving both. receiving is also quality time and physical touch. i want them to love me like i love them.

Stigma: What do you think brought about this side of you (childhood, mental illness, personality traits etc)?

i have a pretty volatile mental state from having mental illnesses, which i’d rather not go into specifically, but that’s definitely a contributor. in addition, i have a history of being left behind by people very close to me, and that’s lead to a huge fear of abandonment. masochism is because it’s easier for me to see people hurting me as a sign of their love than to believe that they’re doing it intentionally. is this always true? no, but i think of it that way as a coping mechanism. my childhood has been okay. i used to be judged a lot, though, and what friends i had were using me, which has lead to me being pretty isolated growing up. i tend to get lonely very easily, and for that reason i cling obsessively to the people i do have, out of fear of them leaving me or replacing me.

Unique: What kind of yandere tendencies do you have?

i can’t enter relationships and even friendships without getting extremely attached and obsessed, on an unhealthy level. i have no perception of what a ‘normal’ friendship is meant to feel like. i get intensely jealous when they show any indication of me being any less important to them than anyone else, and this jealousy builds up over time, instead of mellowing out. it destroys my mental state. i don’t show this to them, though, because i don’t want them to believe it’s their fault. i don’t want to push my issues on to them. i wallow in my own hatred and vitriol as it ruins me. i try to get them closer to me through any means possible, and show them as much love as i possibly can, so that they don’t leave me. i get upset when i perceive that i am not as important to someone as they are to me, and try to get them to like me more, but again without alerting them of how deeply it affects me. i hold on as tight as i can to relationships for as long as they give me an audience. when they leave, i cannot live with myself.

Zenith: What would break you? What do you think would break your darling?

again, i do not currently have a romantic darling, so i will speak only for myself. i would understand if they left me for themself. but what would break me apart is if they left me for another person, because i would forever be spiralling down that path, wondering if i just wasn’t good enough, that they would leave me for someone who could not hold a candle to how deeply i know them.

[baelpenrose]

Project Praetorian 46: All a Blur

Jared and Mia's powers are discovered. Mark and Echo talk technological fixes for a problem. Beta-read by @canyouhearthelight

Mia

The training was the easiest part of being here - even if she was still getting the hang of a lot of the day-to-day. Language was a pain, but a lot of it was just full immersion, both with the sign language and the speaking, just repetition and back-and-forth with the two who knew Spanish. Hell, the others were starting to force themselves to learn some basic Spanish too - even the white boy that everyone always glared at.

Learning to shoot was terrifying - guns were something she thought of as being for cartel grunts. Now, though, with a weapon in her hands, she was getting better and better. She felt a rush of pride every time she managed to get the shot closer to the bullseye. If she’d had a weapon when they’d come for her - no, they’d have gone for her family. Still, knowing she was going to be getting stronger and stronger until she’d never have to be afraid of those kinds of people again was a good feeling.

It wasn’t just that though - in physical training, she was getting stronger, faster, and more capable. She was almost leading the pack, pretty regularly, despite not having been much of a runner and these kids having been training for ages at this point.  As they were running, her armor weighing her down, she decided she’d try to outmatch Jonathan this lap - just to see if she could.

She took a breath and put on speed, starting to actually run instead of jogging. 

In hindsight, it should have been obvious that she’d been nearly keeping pace with him at a run when she was only jogging. 

She suddenly began gaining ground very, very rapidly. Her legs were eating up ground in long, bounding strides. She shifted how she was positioning her feet as they hit the pavement, and suddenly she was running yards with each push. rolling along the foot that landed and going again. The momentum should have been terrifying, but it wasn’t - she felt totally in control of the speed.

She decided to really push it, seeing what would happen if she began sprinting. Things started blurring - then they didn’t. Things were going as fast around her as they did when she was in a car…She took a breath, and slowly began bleeding off momentum, strides taking meters at a time, and then suddenly realized that at the speed she was going it might not be possible to stop all that quickly.

Mia twisted around and saw how the others were looking at her as she wheeled around, her running shoes skidding slightly, even as she made several rapid steps to kill her speed, always catching her balance just right as she set her feet down, and finally came to a halt.

Everyone was staring at her from the other end of the track. She’d lapped them and then some. She was breathing hard - but only like she’d been doing a normal workout. Nothing like…

A buzz in her ear from that new bit of tech that they’d been screwing with in the workshop. 

“I think we can guess what your powers are. Goddamn.”

Mia blinked, slapped herself. Speed. Whatever had happened, she could run and it wasn’t just her speed. Her reaction times were way better than they had any business being if her reflexes could keep up with how fast she’d just been going. 

Hell, if she could keep up with, much less actually surpass, Young Captain America…Imperator? Jonathan. 

Her earpiece buzzed and that annoying readout buzzed again. “Please respond to ensure this system is working.” 

She reached down to her thigh where the attachment supposedly was, to begin tapping it out, but then realized that in the speed, it must have come loose. She cursed, then ran over, feeling the breeze as she did so. 

Mia began signing - ASL was an easier pickup, and once she stopped, people could see it. “The communicator came loose. I was receiving fine, though, could understand what was being said!”

It had been a rush job with a brutal logistics chain. They’d had to obtain rapid, stenographic, touch-type communicators that were also military-wifi capable and adapted to the UN’s translation software installed. These things were then connected to bluetooth earpieces with TTS capacity. 

In short, type your message in your native language on your thigh with your free hand, friend receives it in their native language in their earpiece. Brilliant way to sidestep the language barrier, especially for a high tech organization like Imperator. Expensive communicators, sure, but worth the tech as it became more and more a multinational team and language acquisition would take time between all of them.

It had taken an inordinate amount of work, but ironically Stricken had been their best asset in getting the orders sent, solving a problem with technology to get them into the field faster rather than spend “more time and money on educational budget when we can manage this with a technical fix.” 

Echo signed back. “Glad it’s working, we’ll find the communicator - it’d be annoying to have to replace it -” She broke off and started shouting something at Mark, clearly alarmed, and then sighed as it thudded into his hand.

Mark signed back at Echo. “Look, I can never keep these things functional for very long. I’m not sure there’s much point in keeping these as our go-to way of communicating.”

Mia wondered what it was about Mark that he felt the need to be neurotic about almost everything, but she had to admit, if she was going to be running this fast and the comm pad was going to be on her thigh, she should see the problem with it. Instead of dealing with that, she glanced over at Jonathan, who was grinning, ear to ear, and looking at her. 

Then she glanced at the boy everyone seemed to have issues with, who never seemed to break a sweat during workouts. Not that he never seemed to breathe hard, just that he never seemed to get sweaty or hot. She nudged Molly and said something about it, and Molly jumped.

“No, though,” Molly said. “Now that you mention it, that is weird. One sec…” She shouted over to Casey, and the two chatted for a moment, before Casey looked at Jared, then blinked. 

“Huh. Give me a minute. I want to check something.”

Casey walked over to Jared and Mia looked at Molly. “Do you have any idea?”

“I mean, maybe he’s got some kind of heat powers and she wants to check? No idea, though, that’s just a guess.”

Mia thought about that. It would make sense for Jared to be developing his abilities around now, but still…for everyone to be coming into their own meant that they were going to be sent out soon, didn’t it?

Casey and Jared seemed to be having some kind of conversation off in the distance, and Casey let Jared touch her arm and shuddered. 

“Just hate him, maybe?”

“She does, but that’s not…”

Casey shouted out, and Molly translated. “Says he’s got heat powers too. I was right. He’s been using them to stay cool - good eye.” 

Casey tapped something on her pad, and Mia heard the rest in her earpiece. “I’m kinda impressed - though I don’t think he realized he was using it.”

She hadn’t either. She’d just gone faster when she realized she could. Might be worth asking for everyone’s story in a bit. First time they used their powers.

***

Echo

“Seriously, Mark. I know you’re pissed off that yours keeps failing, but it’s new technology we’re just testing out, it isn’t going to be perfect.”

“No, that isn’t my problem. My problem is that I don’t know that it’s viable, mission wise. You got so mad at me because my magnet bullshit will ruin it, but what does that imply about its viability in our live fire environments?”

“Meaning?”

“Question: I start getting wacky with my powers in a free fire zone. I no longer have comm access. I can’t give orders, can’t receive comms, oh no. We’re fucked. Maybe, maybe you can fix it to the point where I can’t short it out by mistake, or maybe I get skilled enough that I manage to avoid damaging the comms specifically.”

Echo already saw what he was about to say. “But the alien weaponry…”

“But the failing containment sheaths of the plasma bolts and the EMP bursts they create.”

That was a problem. It wasn’t easy to harden any bluetooth tech against it, and even if they could, most military hardware was at least partially hardened and a lot of their gear had been scrambled by the bolts last time. 

“Okay. Rather than fuck around, let’s go down to the range. We have the hardened prototype. We have a captured alien pulse carbine. Let’s go see if hardening even matters. If the answer is yes, I’m gonna ask you to figure out how to control your powers better. If the answer is no, we’re gonna be back to square one.”

The two split up - Mark heading to the armory to get the captured carbine, and Echo to the tech room to retrieve the prototype. When they reconvened, Echo set up the prototype downrange, and set up a target about two meters from it. 

“Alright. That’s as close as we can get to one of these without Shiloh needing to work on one of us for burns or blast trauma.” 

She got behind the wall, and Mark sighted down the carbine - the doing of which, itself, was a feat of engineering. It had been discovered almost immediately that the shitty blasters didn’t have sights of any kind at all, and the carbines seemed to have a laser designator but that the Spikes saw light on a different spectrum than humans did. Sights had been attached for the purposes of testing. 

He fired a single bolt at the target as Echo paid attention to the transmission from the prototype - and as the bolt exploded, the EM pulse washed across the range, and she cursed. Her transmitter worked, but the prototype had fizzled out. 

“Survey says?”

“Survey says there isn’t a tech fix for this.”  She tried to keep the irritation out of her voice. It had been a ton of work getting those things working.

Mark didn’t look smug about having been proven right, instead looking miserable at having his suspicion confirmed.  “I’m sorry. We’ll figure something out.” 

“Yeah. Maybe…I’m not sure.”

Her mind was already spinning. Rapid language acquisition courses could cover for Mia, but it wouldn’t work for every single newbie every single time, and eventually they would need to decide on some sort of universal - which felt shitty given that many of their recruits were already going to be ripped away from their homes and families - or find some other clever work around. 

“Rapid language acquisition for Spanish on everyone’s courseload for now, English on Mia’s? Add more as we pick up more newbies?”

“For now, but we’ll need to find some solution as we go to avoid drowning noobs down the road in like, sixty.” 

Echo gave a wry smile. “Yeah. Workshop that later.” 

[thehightiefling]

personal stuff under the cut, please do not feel obligated to read or respond. i just need to put this somewhere, i normally don't like putting stuff online

but i just. needed a space, i guess

being neurodivergent it's just. hard. fitting in somewhere, belonging somewhere.

on top of that there's the PTSD angle and I just. idk. i feel. not even human. don't get me wrong, being medicated for it finally has helped a lot.

but it's still so painfully obvious i'm different and just. can't function the same way as others. i don't know how to be a human correctly. or how to have friendships.

and it's so frustrating because i don't know what is wrong with me, what i'm doing wrong. i mean like i know i get attached, and clingy. but i try to be hyperaware of that and pretty much beg people to please set boundaries with me. idk if that's more to the mental issues or the trauma, either way i want so badly for people to like me. i'll take even the slightest crumb, because i just so badly want friendship. you don't even have to like me/care about me the same way i do you.

like i have spent so much of my life alone and in bad places. life is hard, you never know what people are going through. so i always try to be honest and sincere with people. like if i enjoy something someone does/make, or something as small as i like their hair/outfit, i'll tell them that. the few friendships i have had i love them with so much intensity and i want those people to know how much they mean to me, because it is so special to me, even if the the other party doesn't feel the same. it is all i have. and i am so grateful.

i've had my excitement over mundane things or things my friends think/say/do pointed out to me before and i worry it's more annoying than endearing.

i know there's a saying that some people are in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime or whatever. and i'm in my late twenties; myself and those i know are married and have kids, careers, homes, etc., i do know that life happens and while you may care a lot for someone, you just can't prioritize them in your life. totally get that and that's okay.

i'm just. mourning. because i feel like i'm only always in someone's life for a brief time, and then i outlive my uselessness. and i just disappear from their lives quietly, or something drastic happens.

i just. see these intimate, close friendships, and i just don't know why i'm not capable of doing that. i see people who have been friends since they were children, who see each other regularly, who help each other with their children or are there for major life events, good or bad. like i read one post about how these two women had been friends since they were kids, and the one basically became like an aunt to the other's children. they were literally viewed as family. they'd buy each other flowers, babysit, curl up and platonically cuddle together, spend holidays together. i just wish i could develop bonds like that.

i just almost wish i could give friends a 'feedback survey', like what they don't like about me, what i'm doing wrong. i know it's adult life. and i do have dear friends who are genuinely my family, unfortunately health and distance keep us physically apart. i just worry that eventually they'll be gone too, you know?

i feel like egotistical or attention seeking posting this. that's not my intent. i just wanted to get my thoughts out there. and idk, maybe someone will read this and understand the feeling. the human experience is really isolating

[chaotic-nart]

So this post actually got me thinking about the possible uses for the numen innards the Hornsent may have had and looking back at the Gate of Divinity in the trailer made me realize

The Hornsent were probably using the flesh of those maidens to build the gate because of their flesh’s unique grafting capabilities. Similar to how cement mixture is used for building brick structures.

Grafting? What?? Narty are you good big dawg??

No, I’m not and I blame Michael Zaki for this but please stay with me for a second because I think I might be onto something.

Ok, so as we know by now grafting was a common feature in the Golden Lineage (Godfrey and Marika’s descendants). Grafting, as we know, is attaching something to a base or “trunk” and both it and the newly attached piece continuing to live and thrive under their new main consciousness . We have a few examples of this.

Now, I would use Godfrey as an example if not for two things; it’s never stated what Godfrey’s race is and Serosh- although grafted to him as a spectral Lion- seems to be of a separate mind. This means there’s something else at play beyond simply grafting a new limb to your body. Personally, I think Marika had something to do with this particular incident as it’s the only one of its kind.

However, we do have a better example of this anyhow with Godrick and Godefroy- both of whom come from Marika (Numen) and Godfrey (Requires more research.) Godrick the Grafted, despite being a sickly old man himself, he is capable of melding his own flesh with that of other creatures. All of those grafted limbs now work on his command, as opposed to them having a mind of their own (see: the dragon’s head).

My hypothesis is that this grafting technique didn’t start with Godfrey, but from Marika’s traumatic past.

“The Numen are said to be descendants of people from 異界 (Ikai), which can mean another world like the English localisation says, but can also mean the spirit world, underworld, or next world.” -Fextrawiki

“The Numen are called 稀人 (Marebito), literally meaning "Rare Person."” -Fextrawiki

[[ Note: Normally, I choose to rely on Lokey and LastProtagonist’s translations of item descriptions and then make my own assertions, but unfortunately dming them to compile a long list of item descriptions for me would take far too long and I didn’t feel like troubling either of them. Plus, this is common knowledge nowadays so no harm in it.]]

Anyways, so if the women from the Shaman or Maiden Village are Numen like Marika, and they (and possibly Marika before she managed to escape) are the ones being flayed alive and then stuffed into jars with “all manners of things”- then it’s more than likely that Numen flesh has an innate ability to meld to other things naturally.

If we go by the Hornsent spirit’s monologue at the Whipping Hut- these women were captured for something incredibly important- something that the already overzealous Hornsent saw as “nigh-Sainthood”.

When exploring the gaols to take notes of item locations, I noticed a few things;

Ghostflame is used as lighting, and is known to be infamously cold. Preserving meat for longer periods of time requires freezing temps, and the insides of the jars we see some of the innards slide out from are frosted on the inside as well.

The Gaols are freezing, which is drastically different than any other subterranean dungeon we've encountered. Enough so that the maggots that would've normally eaten at the exposed flesh of the maiden's innards have frozen solid.

Some of these innards have multiple faces grafted to them (ex: Lamenter's Gaol) and have a unique piercing cry attack that emanates from all of the faces at the same time- similar to the Grafted Scions.

That last note and the item description for the Innard Meat, which goes as follows

" Scraps of flesh for filling great jars. Rancorous spirits cling to the pinkish-red, twitching meat.

This is what becomes of the condemned, who get sliced up and stuffed into jars to become saints instead.”

Confirms that the meat itself, upon melding to the numen flesh, is capable of staying alive despite horrific mutilation. So what happens to these ladies after undergoing this horrific procedure? Do they remain in jars forever?

My hypothesis, as it stands right now, is that this new saintly flesh was then hauled to Belurat (considering that they have the biggest Gaol thus far and it’s full of more of these jars than the others) to be processed and used to build the Gate of Divinity.

Look, we’ve all seen that scene in the beginning of the trailer- the gates are made of pinkish-red, bloody flesh as Marika climbs the steps. Some of the corpses even resemble the bodies of those women.

The worst part about all of this isn’t even that-

It’s the fact that those women were probably still alive when she climbed those steps to the gate. The Gate of Divinity was a massive, living organism composed of the wriggling flesh of her kin.

Given that the flesh is now exposed to the elements and possibly even been torched by Messmer- the gate looks like stone and ash and the corpses themselves are more than likely dead.

*Shadow of the Erdtree late game spoiler under the cut !!!

I’m going to throw up … it sounds crazy but. I think I know what the Hornsent did to Marika’s home village now. And why she hates the Omen so much, why Messmer shows them no mercy 😭😭

Please, look closely at the jar innards in Belurat Gaol… they look like Marika … 😭😭 even the brand on their forehead looks like a mix of her and Radagon’s current symbol (as seen on their soreseal)

If my whole family were kidnapped and stuffed into jars because others thought it’d make them "good", I’d go insane, become literal God and take revenge on them too idk.

This is the text outside of her village:

Have mercy. And the two items in the village indicates that Marika wrapped the whole place in a healing spell, knowing full well there is no one left to heal. Grief. Her grief and love protect that place all this time (before the village are two Tree Sentinels).

The only place in the Land of Shadow still bathed in Gold. And now Messmer guarded it with all his heart. Holy shit.

If Marika came from a village whose ppl were thought to be inferior and should be stuffed into jar to be reborn, yet she went and became a God, while the Hornsent failed to reach divinity, despite proclaiming themselves “chosen people” (Stalwart horn charm +2)�� yeah I can see why they said she betrayed them and that she’s a wanton strumpet. 🙃

Also I think the “seduction” is from the Two Fingers, telling her to accept being a vessel to the Elden Ring and it’ll grant her the power to avenge her people. Look where she ended up now 🙂

There, I solved the story trailer.

EDIT: you can find a Numen’s Rune in Jarburg 🙃

Me 2 years ago: haha why is there Numen’s rune in Jarburg? Aren’t they Marika’s people? So random ! 😄😄

Me now finding out it’s because Numens were the original jar innards: ….

EDIT 2: it’s confirmed in-game that the shamans from Marika’s home village is the jar innards…

the golden hair... be serious with me right now

EDIT 3: She was salvaging the remains of her people and made them the symbol of her divine ascension. their death and suffering would never be forgotten, and the day will come when vengeance would be theirs.

Thank you for coming to my tedtalk 👍

EDIT 4: Update about the mistranslation of Greatjar description leading to players thinking people from Marika’s village are also helping Hornsent hunt down their own people. They are not!

[thisfinalsideblog]

speaking of that journal again, i shouldn’t have reread it. it just made me feel like shit and put me on edge, which is where i’ve been the past few days. i am not actively codependent with anybody and i’m not even talking to the guy the journal was related to anymore. i’m so incredibly fucking anxious (i rarely use that word because it’s embarrassing) about becoming codependent with the person who i would consider my closest friend. i can see it playing out in my mind just like my past friendships, none of which were codependent on my end with the exception of the one i just got out of a couple months ago. i can see us being friends for a year or two until something fucks it up and we’re done. it will be sad and slow and fucking painful. i’m not codependent with this person but i can feel the tendencies from my past friendship taking hold and i can’t fucking do this. i can never tell if i’m just normally attached and hyper-empathetic or if i’m becoming codependent. i get in my own head so much about everything, especially this. i can’t tell if what i’m feeling is genuinely unhealthy or if it’s perfectly fine and i’m just obsessing over the possibility that it isn’t. i think i just need help regardless. with all this election shit, this person is very upset and doesn’t feel good at all; therefore, i also feel like shit. is this me adopting and mirroring somebody else’s emotions because i’m codependent or is this just me being attached and actually giving a fuck? i should be honest with myself and see it as a mix of both. obviously i wouldn’t be happy to see them this way, but fuck if it isn’t taking over how i’m feeling. i get in my head with these stomach-twisting anxieties about the downfall of our relationship so much that it’s impossible to feel anything else. i should just talk to this person about it. we talk about everything else but it’s so fucking hard to even think about having that conversation. what would i even say? “hey, i feel like i might be becoming codependent on you and i don’t know what to do because i feel so sick at the possibility of that happening” isn’t a great conversation starter. sometimes i get… not jealous, but something jealousy-adjacent? i can’t place the feeling at all, really, but sometimes they’ll mention other people and i just feel sort of… strange. i don’t know. i was never like that before iliad. my friends talked about their other friends, and those i was sexual with mentioned other sexual relationships and i truly never felt a tinge of jealousy. iliad genuinely ruined that for me and i can’t even place how. i just feel sick. i feel sick and i fucking hate how unhealthy i am capable of being. i can feel some codependent traits resurfacing. i only feel fully 100% myself when i’m with this person. when we aren’t talking, i’m just sort of sitting around waiting to talk again. the fact that we only get to call when they come home from college on the weekends probably doesn’t help much; it creates this on-and-off sort of thing that makes me miss them way more. i feel like their emotions are beginning to dictate mine. when they’re happy, i’m happier. when they feel bad, i feel very bad. (notice how it leans more negative?) i just feel almost hopeless because i’m trapped in this cycle of my own shitty emotions and i do not have any professional help nor do i have access to it. i won’t anytime soon. i can’t let this get fucked up. i think ultimately i’m just really in my own head right now and i’m full of stress and surrounded by stress. i think this election thing is just the straw that broke the camel’s back, so to speak, since there was so much i was already feeling. i don’t know what’s wrong with me. i feel so fucking isolated all the time, nonstop, even when i’m talking to the person i mentioned. i feel like nobody knows everything i’m dealing with and i genuinely just need (professional) help that i don’t have. i don’t know who to go to. i’m just gonna try to work really really hard on stopping any codependency before it starts.

(tumblr made me start a new paragraph.) realistically, i’m already doing an okay job of this. i can just remind myself that they are their own person fully capable of handling their own emotions and there is no need for me to take on those emotions and/or try to make them better. i can still feel sad or stressed without letting it consume me. i have other fulfilling relationships that i need to focus more on. this isn’t to say i need to focus less on this person. i just need to do both. i need perspective. this person has other relationships that he frequently puts time and effort and energy into, completely apart from me. i need to do the same. i just wish it wasn’t hard for me. i wish it could come naturally again like it did when i was younger, like it did before iliad. i am not a very healthy person, at least some of the time. i know i’ve already said it but i feel so fucking alone. i feel isolated in my feelings and in my thoughts and it feels like the only person that i want to talk to about any of it is the person i’ve been talking about in this post. i should probably give them a pseudonym, too, so i don’t have to keep saying ‘this person’. i guess i’ll go with… i don’t know, cen? (there was a thought process there, genuinely.) i am having a moment where i even feel isolated from them because they don’t know what i’m feeling or going through or dealing with. they know i’ve been feeling alone and that i’m pretty stressed out, but it’s only been in the past couple days that i’ve started feeling anything with the codependency shit. codependency is genuinely the most isolating thing i have ever experienced in my entire fucking life. i haven’t been this stressed out and/or anxious in months and i don’t know if it would be counterproductive or genuinely, healthily helpful to talk to cen about it. i cannot emphasize enough how alone and stressed out and anxious and sick i feel right now. i truly don’t remember the last time i felt this bad. all i’m gonna hear about for the next four fucking years is politics and how fucking horrible our country is. i do not know when i will not be surrounded by stress and misery. somehow the only thing my mind keeps going back to is cen—are they okay, what’s gonna happen for them or to them or with them when it comes to how they’re dealing with all of it, are they going to detransition or something, how long are they going to be miserable, etc. i can’t shake it. i don’t even know who else to go to. i really need to be intentional with making myself the focus and the center of my own life. i think i can do it. i just feel like complete shit right now. i just fucking want everything to be okay. i want myself to be okay. i want cen to be okay. i want all my friends to be okay, really, but he’s the one who’s struggling the most by far with all of this. i think what i’m feeling right now is just an amalgamation of all the shit going on right now but also all the shit i��ve had happen in the past year and a half or so. cen is such a comforting person and i wish we were both okay so we could just relax and be at peace together. i wish something in my life would bring me peace because i have no fucking clue how to find or make my own by/for myself. i’m just having a really fucking hard day. i want to tell cen about it but they’re struggling enough as it is; why would i add my own shit on top of it? i don’t even know why i’m feeling so insanely bad right now. i think it’s because everything in my life (including my own mind) feels so unstable and uncertain. i guess this is it for now but i’ll likely come back later.

[evieofdestruction]

trust is an interesting thing. it’s like as if you were in a bubble. and no one can get past that bubble. i feel so so emotionally distant from everyone and everything. sometimes i’m good at pretending. i’m good at laughing along, at having meaningless interactions with people. but sometimes i wish there was someone who could just look at me and who knows what i went through. who knows my struggles. and even if they can’t say the right things i know they know. and they care.

usually i fill myself with people with relationships with social media. today i just want to sit and contemplate the alone. the walls i’ve put up. the fears i have. i want to understand my thoughts my emotions and just feel.

yet i can’t feel. i have that bubble around myself as well. i don’t even know how i feel. i don’t even know myself. i don’t know my needs my wants my fears my dreams my desires. i’m so far isolated from everything that i can’t even fathom knowing what i’ve gone through. i’m just in that moment alone.

i’ve stopped trusting. i’ve stopped caring. im so far removed that i don’t know how to begin understanding. you know andy is one in a million. he’s emotionally detached but he cares. and he likes me. but i think as long as he’s detached i’ll be detached. he’s so much different. my views on the world are so much different. when before i pulled everyone in so so quickly i can’t with him. not because i don’t feel the same passion. but because i’ve been wounded so deeply that i can’t even imagine him staying. him loving me. him seeing me. i’m my world he will be gone as soon as he came. he seems fleeting.

you know i thought i’d marry parker. but now i know that that’s not in the cards for me. emotional attachment is not in the cards. and even if it were it won’t be happening for a long long time. sometimes i don’t even know if i want to stay. if i want to try. the idea is so far fetched i don’t know if i’ll ever be able to do it.

i like him with my whole being. but i feel like there’s a void that cannot be filled. an emptiness that cannot be remedied. when you believe so deeply that so many people will be the one to stay and they never do. it’s hard to feel like anyone will. even my friend laura i don’t think they’ll even be there until my birthday. i don’t know why they would.

there seems to be no hope for me in this existence. people say there’s always hope. but when i can’t even keep someone for six months. and haven’t been able to since i was 17. it feels like there’s nothing but emptiness and betrayal

i’m not suicidal i don’t want to die but i also can’t see a future. i can’t see myself making it to 21 even when it’s two months away. i fear that i will cease to exist.

so many people have so much hope so much life and i did too once upon a time i thought i knew exactly what my life would be like and honestly it hurts to know that nothing is what i thought it was nothing is what i thought it would be

i don’t even have the capability of thinking andy and i will date i don’t have the idea of true love not even just true love but love at all

the weird thing is im saying this and im not sad or depressed im not even anxious im just letting it wash over me im so far underwater that i forget that i can’t breathe it’s just normal it’s just life it just is

and yet i keep writing i keep getting my thoughts out of my brain i keep thinking is this going to be the day where i will feel i don’t think it is i don’t think it’ll ever come

no matter how much i like andy i don’t think the future the universe the cosmos the god will ever let it happen. i want it to but i can’t even feel enough to comprehend what that would mean what i’d feel

i’m just talk just rambling to no one i doubt anyone will read this.

[callsigndragon]

Home | Jake "Hangman" Seresin

A/N: Thanks to @bibissparkles for requesting this! Sorry for the delay, I've been bussy lately. I'm not really sure i like the final result but here it is so enjoy it!

A/N 2: Also i'm sorry for all the random things i just throw out there as 'your favorite things' if you don't like those things, just imagine your own answer <3

Warnings: fluff, mentions of alcohol, nothing more i think?

Hangman met Jackpot at the academy. Jackpot (call sign given by the rest because if they wanted an easy win at poker, they just needed to go against you. You really sucked at the game) was a good girl, better pilot and one of those sunshine people you want to surround yourself with. He didn't think it was necessary for him to brag around you. You didn't care who was better. And that was something new in Jake's life.  

His family was full of veterans. They were expecting him to be the best everywhere he went. To finally found someone who was willing to ignore his rank, his medals and his skills... It was a relief.  

He could be him, for once. And even though that was exciting, to finally be able to express himself and show his true colors was something scary if you have never done it before.  

Luckily to Hangman, you were the nicest, kindest, warmest soul to ever cross paths with him. He allowed his heart to do as he pleased. And his heart did the most unthinkable thing: it fell in love you. Jake had never thought it was possible to love someone as much as he loved you, but he did. It was a love that kept him awake at nights, that made him search for you whenever he entered a room. It made him learn everything about you: favorite songs and movies, books that you loved, how did you have your coffee in the morning and what were your favorite snacks so he could always have some around in case you got hungry. It made him put you behind his body whenever a creepy guy approached you, even though he knew that you were capable of defending yourself. He just wanted to make sure you were okay. He just wanted to make sure that you were happy.  

And because of that, Jake Seresin could never allow himself to confess his feelings. He was scared that you only saw in him a friend. He couldn’t even imagine a world without you in his life. So... he kept his feelings hidden from the world.  

For him, you were like some kind of forbidden fruit that he could never get. The hugs became longer. His hands were always attached to some part of your body, normally hips or the small of your back. He would whisper silly things on your ear to make you laugh. At that point, everyone thought you two were dating.  

And at some point, you wanted those rumors to be true. When you two became close, you thought he was way out of your league. That man could pull any girl and you knew he wasn’t interested in you. He just wanted a good friend. And that’s what you became for him.  

However, the way he treated you, how sweet and caring he was, how he always seemed so interested and whatever you had to say, even though if you were just babbling about the last chapter of your favorite Netflix show... it made you fall for him. But you knew that your feelings were one sided and you had to keep them to yourself.  

When the academy program ended, however, each one of you had to return to their own base. That meant that you had to say goodbye to Hangman. It hurt, though, having to leave someone that had become such an important part of your life in so little time. You cried; he laughed a little trying not to cry too and after a long hug that felt like it would be the last, each one walked away.  

After that, you two kept in contact through text, calls and face time if you two had the time for it. But sometimes it is complicated to keep a long-distance friendship. You two worked, got deployed, signal was a nightmare and, eventually, you two talked less and less.  

Now you texted once a week if you were lucky.  

You got an offer to be an instructor at Top Gun. You accepted immediately, and got there in time to learn that some of your old friends were back, and in the middle of a difficult mission in some carrier in the middle of the ocean. You hoped for them to be okay and come back safely.  

A few days later, you are at the bar with Penny when you hear the voice that followed you in dreams, the one that you had almost forgotten.  

Jake  

“Oh, c’mon Rooster, I saved you ass I shouldn’t be paying any drink tonight” you hear him say, walking straight to the pool table.  

“You’re not gonna let that go” retorts Rooster with a tired voice.  

“Never”  

You watch him intently. He hasn’t changed a bit. Well, his smile is less cocky and more genuine. He seems to be doing well with his team, sharing jokes and playing around. You smile. You are so glad that he’s able to be his own persona and not the arrogant douchebag he was all those years ago.  

You grab your beer and get close to the team. “Care if an old friend joins in?” you say out loud for all of them to hear.  

Phoenix is the first one to realize that you are really here. She hugs you really tight and calls the rest of the team to make some introductions, as you don’t know all of them. Rooster also hugs you, even Coyote. Hangman, however, remains behind the rest, looking quietly at you.  

“You know I don’t bite, right?” you joke, looking at him.  

“It’s just... weird. You’re here.” he admits, walking closer and stopping right in front of you. You thought he was going to hug you, but he doesn’t.  

“You didn’t know she was coming? I thought you were best friends” questions Rooster looking at the both of you.  

“Let’s say we really suck at being long-distance friends” says Jake, not once moving his eyes from yours.  

“...you’re really thinking that I'm going to disappear”  

“At any given moment” he whispers, his voice trembling a little.  

“Come here, you big boy” you laugh, hugging him and patting his back. He puts his arms around your waist, bringing you closer. Your heart beats faster, like you were back at the academy again, secretly in love with a cowboy.  

“I missed you” he mumbles close to your ear.  

“I missed you too”  

You spent hours with them talking, bringing up memories from the academy days. Some of them remember how Hangman and you were always together. Joined by the hip. It seemed that you were the only person who didn't had to suffer from Jake's cockiness. Every single story about Hangman they had to share with the new members of the group had you in it. You were always there for him.  

“I bet he still remembers a lot of things about Jackpot” says Phoenix while elbowing Hangman. 

“Try me” he simply responds.  

“Okay. I’ll make the questions” says the brunette, leaving his beer on the pool table. “Favorite ice cream”  

“Ben & Jerry’s Cookie Dough”  

“Favorite book”  

“Pride and Prejudice”  

“Favorite color”  

“Blue”  

“Favorite song”  

“At Last by Etta James” 

“Wait, you still remember that?” you ask him, really impressed by all those trivial things he seems to remember about you. 

“Honey, I always had that song in my phone so we could listen it together” he says, smiling.  

You smile shyly, sipping from your drink. The rest of them keep talking, you and Hangman look at each other, his hand softly caressing your arm until his fingers intertwin with yours. It’s like you are in your own bubble, leaving the world outside and just relishing each other’s presence. You don’t even talk. There’s no need for words, just need for contact. Skin to skin. Knowing that you’re still there.  

“Bag man, can you admit that you’re in love with her already so we don’t have to see you two being all lovey-dovey in front of all of us, single people of the world” whines Rooster.  

“He’s not in love with me, Rooster. I’m his friend” you explain, letting go of Hangman’s hand.  

“Are you sure?” says Hangman, making your heart skip a beat.  

“About you not loving me? Well, I think that I would know if you were to have such feelings for me”  

"It took me being years separated from you and put randomly in a room with you again to know"  

"Know what?"  

"You're my home, y/n. You've always been. All the time I spent away from you; something was missing in my life. I forced myself to stop texting you so often. I always asked you the same questions: ‘how are you’, ‘how’s work’, ‘how’s your family’... and I was scared you thought I was annoying when all I wanted was to know how were you.” he confesses, talking fast and with a lot of emotion in his voice.  

“Jake...”  

“I had to keep you as my friend because I didn’t want to risk everything and lose you if I confessed my feelings and you didn’t feel the same”  

“You wouldn’t have lost anything, Jake” you reveal to everyone. “I never said anything because I thought you were out of my league and you would never date someone like me”  

“Sweetheart, all I've ever wanted it’s to date someone like you” he smiles coyly.  

“Can you just kiss already” says Bob, tired of all your conversation and lack of action.  

Jake laughs and shakes his head while reaching for your hand. You grab him by the collar of his shirt and pull him down to kiss him. You can feel his smile against your lips.  

“I guess he just hit the Jackpot” says Fanboy.  

You pull away from Jake to look at him, the rest of the group doing the same. “Way to ruin the moment, Garcia” you say, going to the bar to ask for some new beers for you and your best friend. Well, boyfriend now.  

[slasherhaven]

Hi, I have been following your blogs and really love them lol. If it's not a bother, I would like to place an order with Micheal Myers. The reader is Mike's new nurse and she is super caring and loving to Mike. Unlike the other staff, she treats him normal, even bringing him candy and she's not afraid to confront him. She even makes a mask to wear with him. How would he react? Especially after escaping from the sanatorium.

Michael Myers with a Caring Nurse Future S/O:

Nurses come and go all the time. Schedules change, most get scared off. It happens, and it never bothered Michael. He didn’t remember their names or anything, sometimes he would remember which ones seemed more nervous, the meaner ones, but he just didn’t care all that much. It’s not like he ever cooperated anyway.

So, when you came along, his new nurse, he didn’t even blink at the unfamiliar face. Admittedly, he was a little surprised when you spoke to him, not that he showed it.

You had told him that you were assigned to him, that you would be the only nurse working with him from now on. You said something about treatment being more effective and experiences being better when patients worked with the same members of staff rather than a different face everyday. 

But you both knew that it was more because you were the only nurse brave enough to offer to be assigned to Michael. In all honesty, you had felt a little disgusted by how Michael was treated and talked about. Yes, he was intimidating and had the capability to be extremely violent but he was docile for the most part, he had never lashed out at a nurse or any other member of staff. He had been here since he was a child, he was here for treatment, and how could he ever get better if nobody was willing to help?

And so, you became his designated nurse.

Michael paid you no mind at first, watching you closely whenever you were in his room but never acknowledging you when you spoke or did anything. You still spoke to him, greeting him with a smile, asking him how he was even though you never got a response. 

Something that he quickly noticed was that you were speaking to him, rather than avoiding eye contact, remaining silent, and shuffling around, practically cowering from him. No, instead you spoke, you smiled, you looked at him without fear. Michael didn’t care all that much about people but he could notice that you were treating him like he was normal, whether that was kind of you or just foolish. 

He knew what was different about you. You cared. You were here because you wanted to help people, because you cared about people, even those that everyone else saw as monsters or beyond help.

Then you started bringing candy. You had held your palm out, offering him one but he didn’t move. You weren’t phased, you just left them in his room for him. And when you returned, you took the empty candy wrappers, smiling and asking if he liked them. He didn’t respond but he ate them all so you assumed he did, so you kept bringing them.

Finally, after so long of getting no responses, you started getting silent responses. Nods and shakes of the head. So, you asked ‘yes or no’ questions, and he responded to each. However, he would just remain still if somebody else was around.

He seemed to become used to having you around, leaving you be when you were nearby, letting you accompany him around the sanatorium. In fact, he was starting to prefer it when you were there. You were the one person who didn’t speak about him like he wasn’t in the room.

Michael had always worn a mask, so you weren’t ever unsettled by it. He made them out of paper Mache since that was all he was allowed, that wasn’t a threat even in his hands. He had allowed you to join him one day, the two of you making masks in a content silence.

Other members of staff were amazed that you had stuck around for so long, they were even more amazed when you confessed that you weren’t even scared of the man. To be fair, he had never done anything to you that made you think you were in direct danger.

Michael was more confused than anyone else by your kindness. You were the first person he had been allowed to form an attachment too, and to his surprise a bond had started to be forged.

But then everything changed. Michael escaped the sanatorium.

You were sad to see him go, mostly because he wouldn’t be getting any help (thought the help he was getting was questionable in the first place), and you had no idea what he was going to do out in the world. Would he have anywhere to go? Would he be safe?....would he hurt someone?

Even after being locked up nearly his whole life, Michael is smart and resourceful. He had gotten hurt while escaping and knew that he needed to find somebody who would help him, somebody who had been helping him for a long time now. He needed to find you.

And so he did.

It was the middle of the night and you were at home, sleeping, when you heard movement coming from downstairs. You cautiously headed down the stairs, scared about the obvious intruder in your home.

“Michael?” you weren’t sure how to react at all when you saw the familiar man standing in your living room.

He doesn’t speak, he just shows you his wound. You’re not that type of nurse but you have basic training, you knew what to do. And you did want to help him, so you guided him to your bathroom and started to patch him up.

Of course, you had been afraid when you saw him. He escaped the sanatorium and cam to your home but he had never given you any personal reason to fear him before and when you saw he was hurt, instincts just took over to help him.

You aimed to get him to go back to the sanatorium. If he went back by his own free will, they would be much easier on him when he returned but right now the police were after him. You never voiced him to him, not yet, you knew he wouldn’t like it.

As you tended to his wounds, you had no idea what Michael was thinking or what he was planning.

You were useful, helpful. He liked you. He definitely wasn’t going back to the sanatorium but he also didn’t plan on letting you get away. He might have found it amusing, your soft features looking up at him so kindly, not having a clue as to what he was planning.

[cinnamonest]

Yandere Profile - Link (Legend of Zelda)

ABSOLUTELY YES. MY BOY. LOVE OF MY LIFE.

As some of you may know, today is the release date of Skyward Sword HD for Switch!! So I decided to release this one now in honor of that :3

NOTES:

I went towards the idea of a Princess!reader because that just opens the gate for sooooo much potential. I'm leaning heavily towards the ZeLink interactions in BoTW and Skyward Sword just because those games have the most interaction between the two.

Also! This is great bc it gives me the opportunity to explore an idea I've actually had a long time! I've always thought about how many opportunities there have been across the games for Link and Zelda to be kinda like "haha well seeya later" and just... bolt, run away from everything, abandon their roles and responsibilities and all that. Like, if OoT kid Link got her before Ganon did and ran, if SS Link just decided to get her on the bird and bolt before everything went down, if botw Link was just like haha what if we ran away from everything together... jk... unless...?

And final note, Link is a great pick for the very traditional yandere -- sweet and : ) but can snap into darker personas. I really liked writing this bc I tend to have more self centered yans and less of the "worships the ground you walk on" type of yans like I think Link would be, so it's a nice change.

As usual now the nsfw section is divided by a ---- line.

TWs: fem reader, heavily implied Zelda!reader, stalking, murder, very brief mentions of gore/dismemberment of rivals, manipulation, very brief suicide mention, themes of reincarnation (I’ve been told this can be triggering to some people so just in case)

TWs (nsfw section): noncon, somnophilia

--------------------------------

Severity Scale

Intelligence/Perceptiveness: 4 Brutality: 8.5 Physical capability: 8 Mental/emotional instability: 7 Restrictiveness: 6 Sexual sadism: 5 Stubbornness: 8

What are they generally like? Lucid, aware? Obsessive? How do they behave?

The primary trait of Link that any darling -- any person, really -- would notice is that he is, well, quiet. He has always been a man of few words, and really, he often doesn't know exactly what to say. On his own, at a first glance, he really does seem like a gentle, humble spirit, someone who blends into the background pretty well, who isn't particularly prideful or reckless or aggressive.

Which is why, to be honest, he might sort of evade the gaze of most people -- he doesn't stand out. You remember him as the boy that smiled at you now and then, it's a soft, gentle sort of smile, one that you feel conveys nothing but the utmost innocence and contentment with the world. You know he's pretty good at fighting, but doesn't get into fights needlessly, he's accomplished and respected, but has never been the guy everyone is talking about -- he's in the background, against the wall. Never speaking, always looking out, sometimes at the sky, sometimes carefully watching people. Sometimes you see him, gaze blank and tranquil, and wonder what he's thinking about. Whether he's the village boy in the time of Twilight, the trained and honored warrior that slept for many years, the boy that came down from the sky -- you can't help but feel at ease around him, safe, you can't help but find him endearing and pleasant.

Yet, you always seem to notice him. Other people... forget he exists, sometimes, he's so quiet. You never do, for whatever reason.

When he needs to get something across, he prefers to express himself through actions, not words. If you lived in Skyloft, or Ordon village, you might find problems mysteriously solved, work suddenly done that you don't remember doing. That fencepost outside your home that broke has been replaced overnight. A village child went missing and he comes back a few hours later with them in tow. Always humble, never demanding or expecting thanks, he tells you in his quiet voice that he's happy to help you.

And should you ever ask him for anything, he'll drop whatever he's doing to help. Anything for you, he says with a smile, which makes you feel a bit guilty when, honestly, you're not even sure you're remembering his name right.

And yet, sometimes, you feel so at ease around him it seems unnatural. He seems so easy to trust. You feel like you've known him forever. And sometimes you feel... for just a split second, less at ease. You find yourself randomly stiffening at his calm, sweet voice. You find yourself looking around when you're alone, as if you feel someone is there, and for some reason, his face flashes through your mind. Sometimes when he looks at you, you feel sort of cold. It's almost like invoking a memory you don't have, like some kind of learned instinct you can't recall a reason for. But those moments are fleeting, they come and go before you can even process them, replaced by warmth and comfort.

If you do spend time with him, if you find yourself gazing out your window when he's training, the next thing you notice besides him being quiet and sweet is that he's strong. It's almost ironic, how all the other knights or village boys are so aggressive and rowdy all the time, many of them taller or bulkier, and yet, none of them could ever dream of defeating Link. Not one can match his agility, speed, prowess. Such a pleasant, calm person, with so much skill, strength, and power, but that power is so rarely seen exerted. People marvel at his talent, they say it's as if he has the experience of lifetimes and lifetimes of battle in his blood.

And it's why you feel at ease when he's assigned the task of guarding you. His capabilities are unmatched, and yet you'd never fear any harm to you from him. Both of those traits put together make him the best candidate to protect you.

Of course, you do find yourself doing most of the talking. Sometimes you find yourself rambling to fill the silence, and you fear you're annoying him, but when you stop he raises an eyebrow and asks why you got so quiet. Did he do something wrong? He seems to worry about that a lot -- has he done something bad? Has he made you upset? Are you mad? At first you think he's worried about his position security, but after a while you realize he genuinely worries about it.

And when you do continue your ramblings, you're surprised to find he remembers your words -- every little thing you say. Things you don't even remember telling him. He asks you about that relative you mentioned one time, his eyes light up and he walks a bit to the side because look, it's your favorite flower over there, he'll get it for you. It's impressive, really, how he manages to remember such things. He must take his job very seriously.

He does enjoy giving you such things -- he loves giving you gifts. It's usually things he finds, wholesome little things -- makes a crown out of the flowers you like so much, finds something interesting here or there, while he was off-duty he saw something in the markets he thought you'd like and got it for you. You almost feel guilty, it's so constant that he's giving you things.

Sometimes you ask him about himself, you realize he knows so much about you and you so little about him. He blushes, he rubs the back of his head, he insists there's nothing interesting about him, he wouldn't waste your time like that. It takes time to get him out of his shell, but eventually, he tells you this or that, little stories from his life.

Sometimes you take long walks, you like to get out of the stuffy walls and have fun outside, he accompanies you across Hyrule. Sometimes it feels familiar, you pass places you've never been that give you a feeling of nostalgia, deja vu, a sense that you've been here before.

He’s protectiveness incarnated. Insanely so. He can spring to his feet at a moment's notice and deals with anything that comes for you before they can even get close.

It makes you feel safe, but there's something else there. It's a ferocity that is so contrasting to his normal self, different even from the times you've seen him fight as he trains. It's a glint in the eyes, an aggression in his expression, that almost makes him seem like a different person. And it lingers for a moment, once the creature is dead and his sword hand falls to his side, he turns and glances at you to his side, a hand raised to wipe the blood off his face, and for that lingering second, it's still there, his blank expression and wide eyes -- a ferocity so intense it starts to look like bloodlust, chaos, destruction. And then, it's as if you imagined it. Smiling and telling you it's gone now, you're ok. You're glad he's so truly devoted.

In fact, he's so dedicated to his job that he starts... doing it... outside of his job hours...? Well, today he was given the day off, and you were told to stay inside because you didn't have to go out. He comes knocking on your door, says not to be startled if you hear someone outside your door move or shift or anything, but he just wanted to let you know in case. He'll be right here. Keeping watch. So don't worry. You're safe.

And likewise, he was supposed to have a day off when you were supposed to enter the town. You were assigned two other guards to watch you, since it's a special trip, so you're surprised to find just Link waiting for you. He took care of it, he says, he didn't feel right leaving your safety up to someone else, he doesn't trust them. So they agreed to let him take over for today.

All of this said, he doesn't have to grow alongside you, he doesn't have to be the childhood friend, the knight who guards you. He doesn't even have to have met you. Fate works in odd ways like that. There's a sort of inexplicable instant attachment he takes to you, almost as though it's some kind of destined, divinely inspired sort of thing. He would describe it as saying you feel familiar to him.

He's also, notably, prone to a more traditional trope of what you might call humility whiplash. For the most part, he's got that overly humble, worshipping, "I don't deserve to even stand in your presence" sort of mentality. However, although it's rare and requires a lot of wearing down his mental state, if pushed far enough, he can have brief moments where he snaps into more or less the complete opposite -- entitlement, arrogance, aggression, getting mad at you for the behavior he'd normally take with a smile on his face. Thankfully, unlike some yanderes that have a whole snapping episode towards their darling, his are very very brief, usually only a matter of seconds or a single snarled sentence before he snaps back to normal, wide-eyed and apologetic and telling you I don't know what came over me. It’s... a little frightening to say the least, but you blow it off, tell yourself that hey, everyone has moments like that... Right?

How likely are they to kidnap their darling? How quickly will they do so?

For the most part, he doesn't need it, he can pretty easily cling to your side well enough to be assured of your safety, and he manages to scare off the undesirables not with a glare, but a smile that's just a little too sweet and far too persistent -- it unnerves people. You hear a lot of people say that something about that guy rubs me the wrong way. Or that he gives me goosebumps for some reason. Even the people he scares away themselves can't pinpoint exactly what it is, all they know is that, despite being reputed as kind and quiet (and maybe a little dense), somehow a lot of people agree that something about him puts people at unease, and that's all he needs. Because they stay away from him, and if he’s by your side all the time, that means they stay away from you too. Why keep you trapped when you can just be isolated?

An aware Link is a a unique scenario. One scenario that's rather... interesting to imagine is a Link that defies fate itself, a Link that decides to be selfish in one of those rare snapping moments of his. Perhaps he makes a decision when everything starts going down, when the chaos is beginning, or perhaps he has somehow managed to gain knowledge of the bigger picture at work, the reality of the nature of your existence and his.

Perhaps he begins to think it's unfair. To suffer again and again. To prove himself again and again, and not always even to reap any benefits, to work so hard and yet still -- still -- you slip out of his grasp. He longs for a life with no tribulations, no struggle, no fights to be fought. He begins to feel like it's what he wants the most. He begins to feel like maybe it's what he deserves. So many lifetimes of struggles, if the higher powers won't give him a reward, he'll take it himself.

And perhaps, for all their higher power, not even the great goddesses themselves would have ever predicted it -- humans are ultimately creatures of will. To defy fate and to run away from destiny -- it wouldn't be the first time a human has tried such a thing. Sure, Hyrule may be destroyed. The people may all die. There may be nothing left. But you know what? He's stopped caring. If you're alive and he's alive, tucked away in your little corner of the world where you've found respite, well, that's all he needs. Even if you're on the run from forces that would want to find you, even if the threat of the final third of the triforce owner looms over your head. He'll ignore it, he'll look away.

You'll live a quiet little life together, a happy life without suffering, without quests and enemies, without strife, without worry. That's what he tells you when he steals you away, lifts you out of your bed one night. Says to be quiet, there's danger outside your door, he's rescuing you. You have no reason to not believe him. He waits until things go down, a castle under siege, but rather than taking you to where you're supposed to go, he climbs onto the horse and starts... riding away. It gets further and further into the distance, and you might ask why, what's going on? You have a job to do, he has a battle to be fought. But he says you're going far, far away, someplace you'll be safe.

But what about the divine beasts, the seals, the Twilight, whatever threat runs in this world in this time, what about the threat of Ganon, you ask? He says it doesn't matter anymore. You were doomed to fail, he thinks, it's either stay here and die, or run away. All that matters is you. And he'd like you to feel the same way for him. You will with enough time, don't worry.

He just wants this happy, quiet life with you that he’s been denied time and time again. It’s all he wants. If fate won’t give it to him, he’ll make it happen himself, and carve out the life he is determined to have, defying even the will of higher power.

How difficult is it to escape from them? How do they keep you restrained? How do they deal with attempted escape? 

He gets it. Really, he does. "Stop following me!" You yell. Well, he understands why you might feel that way, but this is kinda his job. He thinks you're naive. Not that he would ever, ever have a thought that you're imperfect, of course! It's because you're so perfect and pure that you're... less aware of the dangers all around.

He'll let you think you're free, perhaps. He's more than capable of being quiet, quiet is kind of his thing. Watching you from a short distance is easy. Of course, his horse might make a noise, he can't really help that, or he might misstep on a branch or something. And then you turn around and get all mad again. Now you're even more angry. Well, he can also tell your guardians/father, who will encourage you to accept it. You can't help but feel a little bad -- he's just doing his job.

Now, our aware, runaway Link, well, does he really need to keep you restrained? What would you go back to? Certain death, a land destroyed? Sometimes you mention home, and he's quick to remind you that home doesn't exist anymore. His home is where you are. Can't you feel the same way? You found peace here in this little place -- a village far far away. Travelers, you call yourselves. What's the point in going elsewhere? How would you ever survive without him? He's not very good at being subtle or skillful about the psychological manipulation, it's obvious he's trying to scare you into not leaving, but... it still works, because really, he has a point.

He doesn't want to have to use physical restraint, in any case. And for the most part, it's not needed, because one important aspect of your relation is that his job kinda revolves around you (in some incarnations), or, perhaps you live in the same little village, but either way the thing is that his presence does the job well enough -- he's always there, perhaps more so than almost any other yandere. Even when you think you've managed to get away from him for a moment, somehow his face pops up out of nowhere. How he manages to pull it off is a mystery, you swear he manages to find you so well and predict your movements it's inhuman.

But if you really, really pose a problem, a smarter and sneakier darling that somehow manages to keep slipping out of his grasp and running off (you never get away for more than about 20 minutes or so, but nonetheless), you keep trying to run off when he's sleeping (he wakes up in approximately 25 seconds if your presence is absent from the bed, but that's still enough time to run out the front door), every time he turns his head (which isn't often) you're trying to disappear... well, in that case, he can reach a point of deciding more straightforward measures are necessary. He hates to do it, really, at least when he's not yet at a snapping point. But it's for your own good. And he says so, quite apologetically.

But it's not so bad, it's not like you're being chained to a wall or anything. For one, he got leather ties so you'd be more comfortable, but more importantly, as your guardian, he figured the best thing for you to be tied to would be... himself. Think of it like friendship bracelets! It's just... got a 5-foot chain connecting them. This way you can't sneak off at night, and you won't get too far when he's distracted. It's a safety measure.

How easy are they to trick, deceive, or manipulate?

He's a learner. At first, it's easy. Honestly, he is a rather naive, gullible boy, sometimes he reminds you of a happy dog with his bright eyes. He likes to believe the best of people, give them the benefit of the doubt in all circumstances, and that goes double for you, who he believes can do no wrong.

And even when you do lie to him, it's still not wrong. You didn't do anything bad. Clearly there has simply been a misunderstanding, and you thought you had to lie. Or perhaps you simply forgot a detail or were confusing something with something else. It wasn't malicious on your end, he knows that.

He's actually significantly smarter than he lets on in practical knowledge, though. Those dungeon puzzles pay off, you know? He's got pattern recognition down. So over time he learns how to distinguish when you're lying to him or attempting to deceive him, and sees through it increasingly well.

And yet, he doesn't really... get mad over it, most of the time. Again, he's just capable of deluding himself into believing there's a reason. He believes so strongly in your goodness that he finds a way to interpret everything you do as out of benevolence. So you snuck out the window and didn't tell him you were going for a walk because you just wanted to get away from his suffocating presence for once? You were just thinking of him. You didn't want to burden him and wanted to give him a break. Well, that's thoughtful, but don't worry, he doesn't need a break. He thinks it's precious you're so considerate of him though!

You don't tell him you were talking to that person, and you lie and say no when he asks, because you don't want him to worry, and because you underestimate how dangerous others can be. He's told you a million times and you don't listen, but that's ok, it's because you're just so pure you see the best in everyone. Everything you do is good.

Because he perceives your lies, he will still work against and around it. He won't confront you on your lies, he'll just make sure to deal with the situation -- you lied about sneaking out, well, he'll just keep watch and be ready to meet you outside next time. You lied about talking to a person, well, he'll just have to make sure they stay away from you instead.

If you're trying to trick him, he just plays along until necessary. Smiles and nods. He gets the suspicion you're planning a break-out when he told you he was leaving to go get something from town... rather than saying so, he just decides, you know what? Why don't you come with him? Oh, you're feeling sick, you tell him it's ok, go without you? Well, he can't leave you alone then! Because you're clearly not and just trying to get him to leave... or, as he says, he can't just leave you alone. He'll go another day.

He's fairly manipulable when it comes to praise and affection. You can easily Pavlov him into certain behaviors or patterns with just the slightest words of praise and affection. He's not a very outwardly expressive person, tends to stay quiet, but you can tell how he feels inside when you give the slightest praise, a hug, a kiss on the cheek -- you can see that soft hint of a smile and tell that inside, he's basically melting, even if it's not obvious to most people. And, much like the lying, he’s honestly often aware of it, but he just can’t help it.

How lenient are they? What privileges can you have, and what will you be denied?

He tries to get you the things that he feels will make you happy. Your happiness is incredibly important to him, and he usually thinks about how any action he plans to take might affect you, spends a lot of time debating choices of things to do or say and try to determine how each one will affect you and choose accordingly.

As such, he goes out of his way to support the things you want to do. Have a hobby? He'll find the best materials available. Want a book or a food? He'll obtain it through some means. Even if procuring it involves a side-quest-y set of mundane tasks or scouring the world for 70 of this and 50 of that to exchange it for the item from an obscure specialist, it's all worth it.

The only thing he just doesn't give up on is the constant vigilance and insistence on being by your side more or less every waking second. And every sleeping second. And just every single moment you're alive. It's for your safety.

This is actually one of the things he can get a little nasty about when it comes to how he deals with it, because he quickly has the bright idea that if you don't get it, he'll make you understand. Of course, he can't actually risk you getting hurt, so he stages it. Allows you to sneak off, or at least think you have, and walk right into the path of those monsters he lured, or the people he hired to intimidate you. Of course, it's only natural that he shows up at the last possible second, right on time to save you. You should expect that, after all, it's his responsibility to protect you, of course fate works out perfectly like this. See, he was right, it's so dangerous, and without him you'd be dead. Hopefully you grasp that now.

What kind of rules do they have? What kind of punishment would they use?

His is mostly related to vigilance. Where are you? Who have you been talking to? Who was that person you were talking with just now? What did they say? He's not nosy. He just cares about you. It’s in the job description. You ought to understand just how much certain bad people would love to find you and hurt you. That's why he has to know.

This isn't our modern world, so there's no phones or tracking devices to speak of, just himself, which, well, might as well be a tracking device since he never seems to have difficulty finding you. Sometimes you're not sure how he does it.

He tells you that you don't have to be with him 24/7, but you will be, even if you don't realize it. He's aware enough to know that you'll feel suffocated and get mad if you're aware of his presence all the time, so he gives you your "alone" time, aka, the "follow her quietly from a 20+ foot distance" time. It all feels the same to you. Well, sometimes you feel eyes on you, but you shake the feeling off as paranoia.

So it's not so much that he sets rules and reacts when they're broken, but rather, he works his way around anything you might do so well that he doesn't need you to follow his rules, or really, you take them more as suggestions. But honestly, that's kind of worse. It's enough to drive a darling to the brink of a mental breakdown very quickly. With Link you will inevitably become paranoid, nervous, you feel like you're going insane because he manages to pop up everywhere, he always knows what you did when you did it and you have no idea how it is even conceivably possible for him to know some of the things that he knows. He confronts you very plainly and quietly, often sweetly, asking why you did this or that or telling you it's ok, you don't have to hide anything, surely there’s a good reason, and if not, he forgives you anyway. In a way, it's worse than an angry confrontation. You begin to feel like he's omnipresent, like he can read your mind, and it truly takes a mental toll and affect you worse than any normal yandere's concept of punishment.

This ultimately works out well in his favor. The more you just do what he wants, the less it feels like a violation or intrusion that he knows these things, since he was there with you, it makes sense, and you continuously get bent to his will.

How do they deal with rivals, or perceived rivals? Will they get rid of them? Will they kill them themselves, or find another way?

Ah, and thus we get to that brutality rating.

It would be unthinkable to think that any sort of scum would even dare. Even he isn't worthy of being with you, and someone else thinks they could be? So, he more or less views "rivals" as an offense. When they're threats, well, he's allowed to deal with them. When they're not, well... he has a wonderful reputation. If he says he overheard that person planning usurpation or assassination, that they realized he was listening in and wildly attacked him, everyone will believe him. Even if the death seems a little... non-immediate. And uh... frankly... overkill. How exactly... did those limbs get perfectly severed during equally armed combat? And was it... really necessary... to kinda spill entrails all over like that? He'll apologize, of course, he was just so outraged by the thought of someone hurting you or your family, you know? You notice his eye twitches a bit as he says it.

He has a lot of... bottled up frustrations, which we'll touch on in the nsfw section as well, but it tends to manifest in those two ways: sex and violence. Rather than exerting stress and anger and frustration as it comes, he lets it fester. He tries to maintain being the noble, humble, self-sacrificing person he feels he should be. That is... difficult to do for a long time. People expect a lot from him, even in timelines where he's not necessarily realized as the hero quite yet, he usually has a lot of responsibilities. But then you tack on the whole hero thing? The weight of the world is sometimes, quite literally, on his shoulders. Do you have any idea the kind of stress that comes with that knowledge? It's not pleasant. And it quickly bottles up, a very very fragile bottle set to eventually shatter in a matter of time.

On a longer sort of quest, he just kinda... leaves a trail of destruction in his wake. Enemies don't actually just poof out of existence the way they do on-screen, you know. Anyone coming across an area he's just been through is met with literal piles upon piles of corpses, sometimes monsters, but sometimes people. He takes a very scorched earth sort of policy when it comes to dealing with things.

He's able to easily get close to people, with that sweet face and puppy eyes and lithe body, people don't really feel on guard around him nor intimidated. That makes it significantly easier to infiltrate enemy hideouts, earn favors, and work his way in to be able to commit mass murder more easily. Granted, no one thinks too much of it because they *are* truly enemies, after all, they *did* need to be taken out and well, if the rulers can choose to either send a group of ten soldiers or just one guy and get the job done equally well either way, they'll go with the latter option. No one thinks anything of it, except the occasional person who laughs and says something to the effect of remind me to never get on your bad side, haha! He gives that sheepish, sweet little smile, and jokingly tells them that yeah, better not.

How easy is it to make them mad? What does their anger look like?

For you, nearly impossible. For others, at a hair trigger.

For the most part, he conceals anger well until, as aforementioned, it bottles up and bursts. The truth is he gets irritated virtually all the time by other people. People who talk to you. Look at you. Smile at you. He’s actually rather easily annoyed even when you’re not involved, but again, he’s good at hiding it until it builds.

His rage has a commonality with his calm -- it's quiet. At least, at first. When it's directed at others, his eyes narrow. It's the telltale sign that someone has ignited his rage. It burns on the inside, it starts off as a spark that builds and builds and grows larger and larger until it's a blazing fire that consumes everything in his path. It's a loss of composure, a rare moment of complete loss of self-control. From his own perspective, it feels like he's not in control of his own body, it's all a blur happening in front of him and when it's over he's looking down at his own hands, unable to process his own actions, sometimes unable to remember them.

But it's violent, merciless, unforgiving. It does not yield to begging, it does not leave anything alive unless forced to. You remember the first time you realized how unnatural it was, how shocked you were at how he did something that certainly went against the code he was sworn to follow, the very first time you felt truly afraid of Link. It was a walk in town -- someone called out to you, spitting obscenities about you and your family, your lineage, threw something at you -- he caught it in his hand and crushed it, and quickly, without a word, advanced on the offender. And, to make a long story short, you had to prevent him from beating a man to death in public in broad daylight. He was forgiven by his superiors, but even they seemed shocked. You had to pull him off, and when he jerked his head around to look at whatever was stopping him -- before his face softened as he recognized your own face -- the split second you saw the burn of hatred and fury in eyes that were normally so soft and loving, was nothing short of unsettling, you still recall the chill that ran down your spine.

And honestly? It's terrifying. And the first time, it's shocking. Sure, you knew he could fight. You've seen him fight off monsters, bokoblins and lizalfos and the like. But something is different about seeing the blood of a human being run down his sword, dripping onto the ground, to see the bodies and the blank, numb gaze on his features he always has after it's over. The absolute lack of hesitancy he has to run human enemies through before they even have a chance to explain themselves, how unbothered he seems by the carnage left in his wake. The way he turns back to you, drenched in red and smiles, tells you it's ok, you're safe now. There's no need to look so scared.

And it changes how you view him, in the long run. Less of a guardian angel, more of a guardian dog, one that defends your name when you never asked him to. Pleads to tell him not to fall on deaf ears -- you just don't understand why it has to be this way, he says, you can't comprehend the threat they posed. From the sweet boy that leaves you flowers and repairs and instead leaves a wave of destruction in his path you would not have thought possible.

Directed towards you, though, it's entirely different. He tries his best to have patience with you, no matter what. He smiles, he tries to make excuses as to why you'd say this or do that, why you'd feel a certain way, and he's rather good at deluding himself to give you the benefit of the doubt.

But when it reaches an end, when he can no longer lie to himself, when you push it to a point that you truly make him mad, it's more of a snap. The times he'll lay hands on you in a truly violent way are rare, and as aforementioned, very brief. It's usually not so much of actually a blow, so much as a grab. He just can't get what he's trying to tell you through your thick head, so he stresses it, trying to make you understand as he grabs you by the upper arms, shaking you with each word, and he only stops when he sees the pain and fear in your eyes, drawing his hands back at lightning speed. He saves you from some danger very narrowly, one of the few times he lost track of you for a moment and had to frantically search before coming across you being attacked. What would I have done if something happened to you? Don't you understand that? He's so lost in the relief it takes him a moment to feel you beating on his arms in the embrace, choking and wheezing that you can't breathe, that his grip is so tight it feels like he'll snap you in half. He draws back again, and he apologizes, but it will certainly happen more than once.

So they see you as above them, beneath them, or equal to them?

Above. Like, so, so, so far above. He feels like he doesn't even deserve to look at you. Of course, neither does anyone else, so he's just, you know, stepping up to bear the burden of wrongdoing to keep people even worse than him away from you.

So it's less that you're just above him so much as you're above everyone. He's actually, perhaps surprisingly, a little bit of a pessimist about the world. The world is full of so many terrible people and so many horrible things happen that he's borne witness to. It's a "world cold and hard, (y/n) soft and warm" sort of thing. You're the one good thing, the thing that makes him happy, the ultimate source of comfort he has, and he has to prevent you from being defiled by the evil of the world, keep you innocent and sweet (even if he's just deluding himself to think you are those things in the first place).

This ties into, again, how he interprets every action you take as good and benevolent -- he has the "you can do no wrong" mentality. Even very blatantly malicious things, he'll interpret in a way that makes you somehow still come out a perfect, innocent angel. If you do harm to others, well, they simply deserved it. You did something technically wrong, but you knew no better, or you were desperate. You can't be held responsible for any of it. And if you're mean to him, well, he probably did something to make you upset.

How determined are they for you to love them? How hard will they try to make it happen? Or are they content just having you?

Sort of a duality. Yes, he's very persistent. He thinks about it all the time. Every time you yell and try to run and hurl nasty insults at him, it hurts far more than you realize. He doesn't let it show on his face or in his voice, but it really does, and it gets to him sometimes. He's hyper observant of every little thing you do, your body language, your tone, the way you look at him, and the slightest of differences can change his mood internally, although it tends to look the same outwardly.

He makes little mental notes of it -- today she didn't flinch when I touched her shoulder. Today she didn't frown when she saw me coming. Little things like that will make his entire day. Likewise, the inverse kills him inside. He aims to make every day one of the former days, where the littlest signs of acceptance or even kindness and affection give him a sort of high that makes him feel like he's floating.

He tries his best to do things that he thinks will, well, earn love. Every opportunity to do something for you, he takes it. Everything he sees he'd think you'd like, he buys (or steals, or... loots from a dead body) for you. On and on that idea goes. And although he doesn't say too much, when he does speak to you, he usually has something nice to say. He views it in a formulaic way -- ironically, think about it like those collectibles in overworlds. You get enough of this or that thing, and once you have enough, you can go talk to this or that person and donate them all and get a reward, right? He's accustomed to viewing things that way. Love should be the same way. If he just completes enough tasks and gathers enough items, eventually he'll unlock your love.

That being said, even if it doesn't happen, much to your despair, he just... doesn't. Give. Up. He doesn't quit. No matter how many times you tell him, it doesn't make a difference. You can tell him you'll never love him, and it's like it goes in one ear and out the other. He keeps trying. And he never, ever, ever stops trying. What did you expect? The boy's been fighting the same enemy over and over across lifetimes, needless to say his spirit has build up some persistence.

Bonus: Is there anything that makes them unique, in comparison to other yanderes?

Bonus: Zelda/Triforce of Wisdom Darling

And don't worry. If it all goes wrong, when he fails, those divergences in time where the hero is vanquished and evil wins out -- it's not the end. Somehow, that's the feeling he gets, holding your little lifeless body up, running hands across your cold skin. Somehow, he feels oddly calm. Like it hurts, but it's ok. Like he'll see you again. Maybe not soon, but one day. This time didn't work out. But the next one will.

And that's the feeling you'll always have. Every time you meet him and you feel like you've met before, the lingering memories when you wake from your dreams -- flying through skies and sailing on oceans, a child, an adult, a boy you've never met, or one you've known all your life, but it's always the same face, the same voice, the one right beside you in the waking world. You sometimes wonder if he has the same feelings, the same dreams, the same sense of something greater than yourselves at work, the sense of being just smaller pieces in a much bigger picture.

The sense of permanency, that each other is all there will ever be -- regardless of how it makes you feel, regardless of how that scares you, sometimes you feel like you can never be free. Sometimes, when you think of running away, those dark moments when you think of even escaping from life itself, it feels futile. It's as if you know it would never hold him away forever. As if death is insignificant. Perhaps in this lifetime, you'll become aware of why that is, or perhaps not.

With other obsessive lovers, just the idea of til death do us part is a terrifying thought. But, for Link, not even death can keep him away from you. Your suffering is already determined by the will of higher power, for the sake of a greater good. 

In truth, it’s the goddesses who made him this way intentionally -- it’s designed to ensure your safety, even at the cost of your suffering. Again, for a greater good. Sure, you may live one lifetime to the next desperately locked in the same cycle in which your freedom and will is stripped from you, but in the end, it serves a purpose. 

Nor will he change -- perhaps this one this time is a bit more spirited, more calm, more pessimistic, more optimistic... but in the end, at their core, they're the same soul, with the same will deep, deep down. The same drive to find you and protect you. The same love for you, an all-consuming love that destroys everything in its path to you and leaves ruin in its wake.

And if fate should one day keep you apart, should things change, for whatever reason, it’s unable to change him. There's another force even more powerful than fate determined to keep you together. The only thing more unavoidable, inevitable, and unescapable than fate, is Link himself.

------------------------------------

General perverseness: how sexual of a person are they? What’s their drive like? How touchy do they get? Do they have any reservations about sexuality?

In moments of passion, he changes a bit, unlike other more submissive yans who stay consistent in their reverence and desire to please.

You see, after a while, being as lenient and tolerant and flexible and completely devoted as he is... constantly self-sacrificing in so many ways, to you, to Hyrule, to the world... some frustrations build up. It's a big, big bottle of emotion, all tucked away and festering, getting greater and greater and eventually it has to explode somehow.

His reservations and inhibitions fall away. Perhaps a darker, more selfish side comes out. Perhaps that's why he's so rough. He knows he'll regret it later, the bruises from how hard he grips, the marks from the bites, but the hormones and the heat takes over. He'll feel bad for defiling you. He'll apologize. And he'll do it again. And again. And again.

But once the resolve crumbles, it topples. That is, he can't partially maintain it -- if it's partially gone, it falls apart completely. He lets go, so to speak. And when he lets go, you find that underneath that carefully constructed resolve and willpower that holds him back, he can be a very, very rough and possessive lover. In his normal state, he wouldn't dare think of you as a possession, or as something he's even worthy of. He would like so, so much to think that, to feel like he's allowed to -- but he doesn't. He chastises himself for even having such a desire. But in those moments, when his resolve is gone and his brain isn't thinking quite too clearly, he might even have to audacity to say "mine." Even if it's not true, not now, maybe it will be. He would like that so much. His and his alone.

And in a moment of clarity, he might even throw away the inhibition on purpose. The more selfish side, the same Link that drags you away from your destiny -- he's already forsaken his responsibilities, hasn't he? Why care anymore about the structures that no longer exist, your status and his, if there's no kingdom left? He likes that it happened, even. This way, this time, you can throw off those titles, those roles. Without your status, your title, there's nothing stopping him from making you his. And you will be his, and nothing more. It's all you need to be. So he doesn't have to care anymore about any of that, he doesn't have to stop himself from going wild. Biting into every little spare patch of skin, covering your body with marks that make him feel comforted to see.

As far as drive it's a bit of a two-sided duality. Outwardly he's not a very sexual person at all, blushes and stutters and averts his gaze at the slightest mention of suggestive topics, tries his best to be Respectful(tm) by always looking away when you're in a compromising position, or your skirt flies up, etc etc. Given how constant his vigilance is, he has a tendency to accidentally walk in on your changing or bathing, except unlike with many yanderes, it's genuinely an accident. Not that the image doesn't stick in his mind, nor does he wish he hadn't gotten to see, but he does feel guilty, and it was genuinely unintentional. He kinda freezes up, so it takes a moment for him to actually snap out of it and run out.

That being said, he quickly develops something of a masturbation addiction when he's younger, it starts as more of a stress reliever than anything, He's so sweet and always feels bad about talking about his problems and feelings, so that and, well, violence are the only ways he can get it out. Thus he learns to channel stress and nerves into sexuality, and once he has a real living body and not just his hand, that dependency on cumming to relieve it doesn't change.

How forceful are they? Do they care about your willingness?

Particularly so, yes, cares quite a bit. And it takes a while for him to feel comfortable. Even consensually, the first few times he touches you for several months, he's got trembling hands and stays quieter than ever, constantly freezes up every time you move or make a noise because he thinks he's done something wrong. He has to be coaxed into feeling more comfortable before he gets used to it, but he will build confidence over time.

As addressed before, though, if he's pushed and pushed and pushed long enough, you can get a darker side to come out. This is most likely something that would only occur post-kidnapping in a distant time, once he's far away from any possibility of consequence and destruction has set in to the world around you. He starts to get a little bitter, if you've been mean to him. It all builds up. Don't you get that he's literally saved your life? That he devoted every waking second to you? Isn't he kinda entitled to some thanks? The cycle of time never rewards him. Even the figures he helps over time rarely give him more than a verbal praise and thanks, maybe an item here or there, and then disappear. His role feels thankless. He starts to feel like he deserves something, something tangible, in return.

Surprisingly, though, he actually does not take the route of guilt-tripping or emotional manipulation or gaslighting his way into it like a lot of the sweeter yanderes when he does have that snap. His snaps/breakdowns are rather extreme in terms of how much of a polar opposite they are to his normal state, rather than just a slight bend of his normal personality. Rather than taking the route of most yanderes like himself, he just gets directly physically forceful. Still somewhat sweet, though, reminds you he loves you, he'd die for you, you're his entire world. You'd argue that doesn't really change the actions, but considering how frightening he is in that state, you're not dumb enough to vocalize that.

The guilt consumes him alive afterwards. Like, immediately afterwards. He's still panting and twitching and buried inside when it sets in. That being said, he doesn't get to stuttering and profusely apologizing, like he does over smaller offenses. It's all done and he can't take it back, so he just kinda collapses and says nothing. He's not the best with words, you know. It's an odd mixture of guilt and, honestly, a bit of satisfaction and relief. It feels like letting go of some self-imposed burden, that feeling of finally surrendering to some deep want, even if it comes with a lot of remorse, the relief of finally letting go does have a good feeling as well... and because of that, it’s another one of those barriers that, once broken, can’t be built up again.

What sort of kinks or fetishes do they have, or would they fill?

In all honesty the boy is, for the most part, a fairly gentle and vanilla lover. He doesn't really need anything special to get off -- he's easily excited and cums very very easily too. Just the prospect of getting to stick his dick in you in any capacity is enough to make him nearly burst at the thought honestly.

In general, as aforementioned, he's very very cautious and gentle to a point, but has a tendency to get actually kinda rough once he gets into it. The thing is, the roughness aspect is actually unintentional. He's one of those boys that is a little bit unaware of his own strength, doesn't process exactly how hard and fast he's going. He just gets lost in the feeling, kinda enters a dazed lusty haze where he's less aware of his actions. Doesn't realize he's literally got an iron grip pressing your head down on his dick or into the bed until you start flailing your hands because you can't breathe. Doesn't realize how hard he was gripping until he sees the bruises on your arms and hips later. That sort of deal -- poor thing is just unaware and doesn't have enough blood in his brain to think straight.

Biting

Surprisingly a really big one for him. (Remnants of a past life cycle with some lupine experiences perhaps?) In all seriousness, he could not explain exactly why if asked, it's one of those "I just like it" sort of things. It feels like yet another way to conjoin the two bodies, pulls you close. The marking aspect is also nice. Granted, he feels guilty afterwards, tries to help it heal. He has that same duality where moments ago he was this intimidating beast of a human being, rough and growly and jerking you like you were weightless, and now he's back to this bright eyed softie stuttering while he apologizes.

The guilt is mixed with a bit of enjoyment, though. It's constantly conflicting -- sure, part of him understands it's embarrassing and will help you cover up, but part of him doesn't want to, he wants people to see. Part of him looks at the marks and tells himself internally to never do that again, and part of him sees them and just wants to give you even more. It's a constant internal conflict, poor thing.

As far as a place, he likes the neck and shoulders best, simply because it's the most visible and it's the most passionate ones to create, when your bodies are tightly locked together. That being said, though, he also has a thing for biting at the insides of your thighs. It's another one of those I just like it sort of things.

Sometimes, when you're asleep, or pretending to be, you can feel him trace the bite marks with his fingers, softly running them over the circular pattern, just enough to barely ghost over your flesh.

Somnophilia

It puts him at ease. This one is particularly prevalent towards the beginning of your relationship, before you really know... how he is. He has this image of you as so pure and he couldn't bear the thought of defiling you with his horrible horrible thoughts. The guilt eats away at him for a while, but eventually he just can't hold back, but how could he ever do anything to you and risk consequence? So... the solution he comes up with is waiting until you sleep.

He tests the waters to see how heavy of a sleeper you are. Calls your name at increasing volume, lightly runs his fingers over your hair, pokes your face, whispers in your ear, runs his hands over your arms. Just to see what makes you rustle, if anything, so he knows the limits. If it turns out you're an incredibly light sleeper, well, unfortunately that means he's limited to just jerking off to your sleeping form, but that's ok. Just seeing your soft face and the cute way you breathe, the slightest way your lips open, that's enough for him.

If it turns out you're a heavier sleeper though, well, he tries to fight the temptation, but ends up going further. Slowly climbs onto your bed, careful to make the weight shift as gently as possible. Slowly pulls the covers back. Runs his hands up and down. It's a lot better when he can actually see your body as he jerks off, honestly. If he's feeling particularly risky, he might press your thighs together, feel how soft your skin is to his cock, how nice the squeezing pressure between them is.

He gets easily lost in a haze, though, so he inevitably ends up accidentally cumming on you and has to frantically find a way to lightly dab it up without waking you. He panics quite a bit, but that doesn't stop him from doing it again the very next night.

Overstimulation/Forced Orgasm

It just means he's doing a good job, really. Sure, you squeal and kick your feet back and forth and tug at his hair, but that's just because it feels good. Orgasms equate to love and feel good, right? Sure there's a little bit of pain when you go overboard, but then it just leads to feeling even better, right?

It's kind of an irrational compulsion rather than a logical goal, though. He just has an impulsive need to feel you quiver and spasm and clench, it basically gives him a chemical high hit and a wave of reassurance, makes him feel good in both the physical sense and the emotional sense. The first one sends him into this compulsive need to feel it over and over and over again, as many times as he can. It's another one of his internal conflict things -- sure, he knows it's hurting, but he just has to get one more. Just one more. But of course, every time turns into "just one more" when he's been saying that for half an hour now.

And, to be honest, it kind of gives him a pride boost to think he can make you cum against your will. How many people struggle to achieve that even when both parties are trying? It makes him feel good in an adequacy sort of way, he feels needed.

Size Kink/Distension

You know, there's a well-known thing among the male-lovers in this world when it comes to size. It's never the arrogant, loud guys, it's never the social butterflies, it's never the tall guys, it's never the beefy muscly guys. No, they're not the ones that end up somehow bestowed with absolute monster cocks. It's always the soft, lean boys who don't talk much. And they're always painfully unaware of it, too.

He's no exception. Not to the size or the complete lack of awareness. He hasn't spent a lot of time around guys his age too much, he's always been the one sent for some special task and ends up out in the wilderness by himself on journeys, or, in some lifetimes, accompanying you most of the time. He doesn't know what the average dick looks like, so he has no idea he's far above average.

This might sound like a plus, and of course in some ways it is, but also he doesn't think about the fact that the average body isn't properly equipped to handle it. You're supposed to just kinda put it in, that's how the sex works, right? Poor thing, especially if it's entirely consensual sex, he's just kinda ???? because why are you in pain? What is he doing wrong? You have to eventually explain it's literally just his body, not something he's doing.

That being said, naturally, he's a humble person, but hearing you say that does kinda... make him feel good inside. A little bit proud. He's not a person who takes a lot of pride in many things, so he likes having this one thing, and quickly notices you can visibly see it through the bulge it makes in your stomach. Especially if it's in a position where your back is pressed to his front, every little movement creates the bulge, so expect to get a lot of that.

He doesn't really bring it up much or talk about it when he's actually fucking you, it's more like, as with many things, something he's quietly aware of and silently enjoys a lot internally, even if it's not voiced.

How do they feel about pregnancy or babies? Do they want them?

Yes and no. It has to do with his overactive protection instinct. What if something happened or went wrong? He couldn't take that. He couldn't lose you.

At the same time, he likes kids, and he's very good with them, very patient. And over time, realizes that a kid would be the perfect tool of manipulation, and besides that, isn't it a beautiful thing, an ultimate manifestation of love?

So how to work around that... Ultimately, what he decides to do is have a kid... Just not by blood. There are plenty of orphans in Hyrule, wandering the streets and the wilderness, picking one up is easy. ...You wouldn't leave this poor child to suffer out there, to fend for themselves, would you? Nor would you leave him to take care of it by himself... Right?

What kind of (nsfw) punishments would they use?

Oh, it's not like he thinks of it that way. He would call it... a reminder. You put yourself in danger again? You tried to go back again? You were gone and for ten whole minutes he didn't know where you were? What could the solution to this issue be? The only thing his brain can really come up with is making sure you need him. Making sure you're content and satisfied here with him so you don't go running off.

Thus we return to the forced orgasm thing -- see, you do need him. It feels good, right? You say it hurts, and maybe it does a little, but ultimately you wouldn't be cumming if it wasn't good. No one else can ever do that. No one else knows you like this. No one else was made for you like this. You can't replace him. You need him. And he can keep going as many times as it takes until you see that, too. Even if he gets milked dry, he has a mouth and hands for a reason.

And by "until you see that," I mean until you say it. In his more... emotionally intense moments, he gets a bit insistent. He needs to hear you say it. Admit it to yourself. And to him. That you need him, that you depend on him, that you'll never leave again. And don't think your patience and tolerance can stand a chance of outlasting his -- it will keep going until you say it.

What body parts of their darling do they like the most?

He's one of those wholesome type of boys who goes with something sweet. He says maybe your hair, your face, your skin, your eyes. It's all so comforting. So familiar. Of course, not to say that he doesn't like your less wholesome mentionable parts, but he wants to be chivalric about such a question, and feels answering that way would be too disrespectful.

In his unspoken thoughts, though, he likes the hips. It's a part of you he can grab onto and hold you close with. He puts his hands there a lot and holds tight, like he feels like at any moment you could slip out of his grasp. And, I mean, it's nice to look at, can't forget that.

[therebekahmikaelson]

demcnsinmymind​:

The smirk and amusement still didn’t leave his face though things were starting to cut just a little bit deeper by now. Especially the combination of things she was saying. Never been in love. Loathing oneself.

There had been a time, maybe two, where he’d thought that maybe, he’d been in love. Where he’d been willing to give this whole thing she was craving a try. See if he was capable of returning her way of viewing their ‘relationship’, their attachment, their ideas for a shared future. Only to fail miserably. Because it just wasn’t there. That kind of commitment. Any sort of comfort and relief in any of it. That yearning that involved more than anything fleeting and physical. Wasn’t there. He just didn’t work like that. Couldn’t. Wouldn’t ever. And maybe, because he’d still wanted it for her and because he cared about her in his own way, that had made him loathe himself for a bit. His inability. Never being in love the way most other people seemed to be. Even when he’d wanted it, tried it.

Luckily for him though, that had only been for a very short period of time. And always in the beginning of something. Until he got over it, kept going, kept looking forward, stuck to his own principles, came to keep enjoying who he was, who he wanted to be, and where he wanted to go. A one man army, entirely focused on and comfortable with just himself. At the end of the day, all of that still rung true.

“Oh, didn’t take me a hundred lifetimes to get to the whole loathing part. Doesn’t take me a hundred more to get over it either. I’ll always find a way to make things work the way I want them to in the end. That’s literally all I’d like to see you do, too.”

Usually, he was saying those things to boost his own ego, to brag and what not. And maybe there was a little part of him that was still doing that. Generally though, he was still saying it to get to her. To try and nudge her in the right direction. And sure enough, just like that, there was a tug at his collar, cutting into his throat a bit. Followed by her signature threatening glare. That fire in her eyes, replacing her heartbreak. That spark in her voice as she threatened him. He knew she could kill him. Easily. Had seen her deliver on that very promise more than once. And he probably should feel threatened by the reaction. He did. But it still only made him grin harder.

“Gotcha exactly where I wanted you though, didn’t I? No longer upset and all, ready to kick ass. I like to think I bring out the best in people with my girl talk. And I’m definitely keeping the money” he teased with a wink, all the while lifting both his hands in the air in a somewhat submissive, soothing gesture.

“But okay. You win. You are a terrible monster, utterly incapable of normal people love. You destroy everything you touch. You are entirely loathsome and will spend the rest of your eternal life in absolute misery and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it at all. Forgive me for trying to change your mind” he ‘gave in’ with a deep sigh, followed by a short pause. Then, he couldn’t help but sneak in one more dig at her.

“So this is how you’re gonna get rid of what’s keeping you from getting what you want, huh. Choking me out with my own shirt. Funny. Didn’t know I  was the one keeping you from it.”

A subtle request to be let go, though he wasn’t speaking it out, and neither was he making any moves. Maybe he was a bit nervous and intimidated after all, eager to get free. Overplaying it with yet another stupid tease.

"Darling, if you were the one gatekeeping my happiness, I would've squashed you like a bug back in the forties." Rebekah unclenched her fist, letting Lance and his shirt free, albeit a bit more wrinkly. "Your little teasing tyraid isn't far off. We deserve love, surely, but there is a reason I nor my siblings have achieved long-lasting unfiltered joy. We are monsters, Lance, and you are too. Perhaps you're better prepared, considering you had your own supernatural qualms before my brother turned you."

His brainy friend couldn’t have made things easy. She recalled the scared man from the beach. There was no trace of him now; but Rebekah would not forget that person lived beneath the man's cocky comments and irritating smirks.

"I plan to find happiness by reversing this mess. There's a cure out there somewhere with my name on it. I've searched for centuries. Soon enough it'll fall into my lap and this business will be behind me. No more bloodlust and no more creepy possessions. Just freedom to do as I wish."

Folding her arms, the Original scanned her friend with fresh eyes. He wasn't so bad looking. She had been a bit flirty on the beach... Perhaps some women might like him. Despite Lance's treacherous ability to engage in girl talk, Rebekah found herself curious.

"Has there ever been a woman? You're not the ugliest thing I've ever seen. I'm sure you've got good qualities deep down. Perhaps there was someone?"

[apricotgojo]

hello love! Can I please request a somewhat spicy sub!chat noir x reader? Maybe where the reader is kinda feeling him up and leaving him hickeys and he’s a purring and moaning mess? Maybe he’s begging her to keep going and who is she to say no to such a sweet baby kitty? If that’s not too much of course😌 tysm

Hello bb ! I hope that this satisfied your sub! Chat needs hehe (i know it satisfied mine so) I really love how this came out and maybe i’m willing on continuing another part from here) Thank you so much for this request ! <3

Pairing: Chat Noir X Reader

Warnings: NSFW, characters are aged up in college here :), swearing.

Tags: Sub!chat, Dry humping, begging.

This is how it all went down. He saved you from an akumatized villain. He flirted. You flirted back. Then you guys started hooking up.

You didn’t understand why Chat Noir would do this with a civilian but like every other person on this planet, he has his needs. He would knock in a pattern on your window so you knew it was him and you would let him in, you’d talk for a bit, ask each other about your day until one of you breaks and pushes the other on the bed or against the wall. He was good in bed. Very good. You knew you’d never grow tired of this affair. To top it all off after you both finished you’d sit in bed and talk about all sorts of things. Aliens, Conspiracy theories about the media, gossip about people and sometimes he’d even play Mario Kart with you.

There were no strings attached. You both made it clear from day one. There couldn’t be. You both didn’t have the time for a relationship, you both didn’t have the energy for one so you simply stuck to the title ‘fuck buddies’ until one of you decides to back out. This night was different though. A smile didn’t appear on your face when you hear the familiar knock on your window because you were stuck cussing at your computer screen and rubbing your head in frustration. You had an essay to explain Shakespeare and his works but for some reason you kept deleting all that you’ve typed because you couldn’t put your thoughts into words.

He knocked again, quickly this time. “I know you’re there, beautiful.” His voice was muffled through the glass.

You huffed and put your laptop on the bed before stomping to the window. You opened it and were met by the hero grinning at you. You, on the other hand, didn’t have a pleased look on your face.

“I’m not in the mood Chat.” You state and were about to close the window again but he held it to stop you from closing it.

“Ma Belle, did I do something wrong?” He asks, a frown on his face.

You shake your head. “No, I just have this stupid essay that I’ve been trying to type out for the past four hours.” You sigh and make your way back to your bed, rubbing your temples.

He follows you inside and closes the window behind him.

“Maybe I can ease your stress for a little bit.” He says, a smirk on his face.

You simply shoot him a glare and he chuckles nervously, putting his hands up in defense.

“Okay. No sex. Got it.” He sits beside you and looks at what you’re typing.

“You know you can leave right? If you’re horny you can go to your other side bitches.” You say as you type away, your eyes glued onto your screen.

Chat purses his lips, like he held himself back from saying something and shook his head.

“Maybe I came here for some company.” He says.

You snort and chuckle. “Yeah right.” You say sarcastically and look at him, but he wasn’t smiling. You gulp and your smile fades away. Did he seriously come over because he feels lonely?

His face was leaning closer to your and you were leaning closer too. No. You had to finish this stupid essay.

“Stop distracting me kitty.” You whisper and kiss his nose quickly before looking back at the screen.

He groans and falls back on the bed, playing with the pillow.

“I can help you if you’re writing about Shakespear, I wro-“ He stops himself from talking and you turn around, quirking your eyebrow at him.

“You wrote an essay like this?” you questioned.

He visibly gulps and shakes his head.

“Do you go to college?” You question further.

He chuckles nervously. “You know I can’t tell you that mon ange.”

You stare at him for a moment before looking back at your screen. You decided not to pry further, he seemed uncomfortable talking about his personal life and you decided to respect his wishes.

Your phone started to ring and you see that it’s your friend from college Marinette. You pick it up.

“Hey Mari.” You say as you type.

“The deadline has been changed to next week!” She exclaims happily.

You were filled with rage.

“what?” You deadpanned.

“Yeah apparently some students asked to change it because they were having difficulties so he changed it to next week instead of tomorrow morning.”

“I literally asked him to extend the deadline three days ago and he refused. I swear to god I want to kill this son of a bitch” You groan and clutch your fist in anger.

She sighs, “I know girl, but hey at least you’ve got more time on your hands!”

Marinette always tried to be positive when she could and you appreciated that but honestly you needed to vent. “Yeah, thanks for letting me know Mari.”

“No problem! Bonne nuit.”

“Bonne nuit.” You sigh out before you end the call.

You groan out in frustration and shut your laptop.

“What happened?” Chat asks.

You get out of your bed and start to pace around.

“I have been working on this essay for the past four days, knowing very well how stupid it was that the deadline was only five days for a two thousand word essay on fucking Shakespeare and when I ask to extend the deadline, the son of a bitch replies with an angry email saying theres enough time and that im just lazy.” You finally breathe and chat was about to say something but you cut him off.

“But when his privileged French pupil ask him to extend the deadline of course he agrees and you know what, I think it was Adrien fucking Agreste who asked him because hes the fucking pretty model boy who has everybody on their knees for him just because of his high status.” You sit down and without realising you start talking about a different subject.

“Yeah, I get it, everybody wants to fuck the pretty blond guy with money, I would too but at least I don’t look like a thirsty bitch every time he talks to me, some girls in my damn college have literally no chill and I swear to god one day I want to make him my bitch, make him weak for me to show those bitches what i’m capable of.” You were breathing heavily at this point and your face was flushed red.

You always thought Adrien was attractive, everyone did but whenever he talked to you, you responded normally to him unlike other people who constantly laughed at everything he said to try and get in his pants. He was a good guy but he was too well known for his own good and it made you uninterested in him. You thought he was out of your league, that’s what those french bitches told you at least. They belittled you just because you’re foreign - you knew they were just jealous that Adrien was always the one to come up to talk to you unlike them.

That was enough ranting for now. You look at Chat who was staring at you wide eyed, his cheeks glowing red.

“You don’t need to say anything, it’s just-“ You look down at his body and notice something. “Chat..why are you hard?”

He crosses his legs over the other awkwardly to try and hide it. “W-What are you talking about?”

You stand up and walk over to him and he walks back until he’s pressed against the wall.

“What? You get hard thinking about me making someone weak?” You whisper to him and he looks away from you. “You want me to do the same to you kitty?” You kiss his ear and he shudders, nodding slowly. Your hand moves down from his chest to his belly and your lips move from his ear to his jaw. Chat tilts his head back and a frenzy of purrs emerge from his parted lips. He was aroused, in a state of euphoria even with your small, light touches. Your hand moved lower until it reached down to the tent he had in his suit. It was painfully tight for him. Your fingertips lightly brushed over the bulge and he cussed under his breath.

“Fuck.” He whispered while you continued to touch his clothed erection and lick up his neck. He kept purring and moaning at the same time. You loved seeing him worked up like this. Your lips latched on to a certain spot on his neck and you sucked on it harshly, nibbling at it when you got the chance and putting more pressure with your hand against him.

He was a mess, grinding against your hand and breathing heavily.

“Ma Belle – merde,” he couldn’t even speak without stuttering. “I want more, please.” He begs and you look up at him, noticing the red mark on his neck and feeling very pleased with yourself.

“More what, kitty?” You whisper and remove your hand from where it was.

He groans in frustration.

“More – I-I want you to touch me more.” He pleads. “Please.”

You smirk at him and pull him to your bed, pushing him back on the bed and getting on his lap. Before he could react you put your lips on his and start to grind on top of him.

He moans against your lips and throws his head back, holding onto your hips for support. You could tell that he wanted to take his clothes off but you wanted him to come right then and there.

Your hips move against his, the friction pleasing you the same, causing you to moan but grin at the worked up blond beneath you.

“Shit, shit I’m close.” He whimpers and closes his eyes, moving his own hips with yours to get more pleasure.

It felt so good but you knew you couldn’t finish with him, maybe you could continue after but your hopes disappeared when you heard the beeping coming from his ring.

“Mon Ange I-“

“Shut up and come for me kitty.” You groan out and quicken your movements causing him to part his lips and hold onto you.

His body shakes and he spews out cuss words in French while he comes undone, thrusting his hips up and whimpering.

You’re both breathing heavily, looking at each other both dazed and tired. You were about to lean in for another kiss but his ring starts beeping furiously.

You hop off of his lap and watch as he groans while he gets up, uncomfortably moving because of the mess he made between his legs.

“I’m sorry I cant finish you off.” He says, pouting at you.

“It’s okay Chat, I think you’ve done enough today.” You wink at him and he chuckles bashfully.

“Until next time Mon ange!” He says and opens the window.

“Bye Kitty.” You blow him a kiss and with that he’s off.

Maybe you could actually finish yourself off to the thought of him being a mess for you but before you could even do anything, your phone beeps and you see a notification from Adrien Agreste.

 “Did you hear that they moved the deadline for the Shakespeare essay? Pissed me off tbh.”

It was like he knew you accused him of something and to top it all off this was the first time he’s ever really texted you. It was weird but maybe you shouldn’t think much of it. Right?