#i think dream me never stopped feeling guilty even after they realized it wasnt my fault diughds

[thecherrygod]

so im back to having weird dreams, or nightmares maybe depending on how you see it,

i was with a group of people in the inside of a warehouse, and on this warehouse there was this.. little neighbourhood basically, just a bunch of houses and buildings. so we had to walk around it and go inside some of the buildings, and it was implied that we had been doing that for a bit already

one of the people in the group blamed me for the others to be stuck in that situation with us, but not for themself, and i was also feeling guilty so maybe they were kinda right. also they were the only person who... changed. their main personality remained but their looks and name didnt.

it was, also, a bit like being stuck in a less deadly saw trap, it was dangerous and we could die, but surviving without major injuries wasnt impossible, but i think mostly this other person and i were the ones who did the worse parts, them bc they felt a need to protect the others and me out of guilt, but at this point both of us are unsure if it was actually my fault that most of us were stuck in this situation. also as a bit of a funny situation i think that when they were the most mad at me for putting everyone in danger, or when they really  needed to help the others, they turned into my favorite fictional husband who almost died protecting others so i think thats fitting?

ok so, theres this moment that we are walking down the “street” speaking of how we dont really have stuff to protect ourselves too much and  this girl goes “ah yeah. it sucks i couldnt buy that one gun i wanted” and while everyone is like wtf are you talking about she says “yeah! you know, the ones with videocameras? the bright pink one that came not that long ago that can record what happens with it?” and my brain creates this image thats like. the screen of cassio g-force clocks with the buttons on the side as the functions of the camera and it. really is bubblegum pink, it automatically goes to a normal colored gun, but still with a camera, and it shoes someone shooting a horse thats part of a carriage and it falling and sort of causing also danger to the people inside the carriage, and its implied that the cameras in the gun arent stopping crime, as long as you use it to cause harm in an indirect way you can do whatever you want and they cant press charges on you. for something that lasted like 10 seconds it was very detailed

anyways, we got to the porche of a house and when we enter it was actually a 6 floor building. and we constantly hear footsteps on the floor above, so we go very carefully. we always tried to open the doors to the floors but we couldnt, not up to the last floor, and it looks like.. the top part of a theater, with like catwalks and stuff to reach the points were you can move the lights and other props. but it looks.. like a mirror house and also the inside of a kaleidoscope, and theres still footsteps above us, theres a rope ladder and an even smaller catwalk  that you cant see where it leads from where we were standing. and the person that at that point wasnt blaming me anymore and we were reaching a camaraderie sorta relationship says “okay. this is dangerous. i cant let any of you do this. ill deal with it” while. everyone was begging them to not even dare, i was even threatening them with a fork? but they managed to basically sacrifice themself for everyone else, all the others straight up sobbing bc everyone loved them, but also being a bit too self aware and saying something like “shh dont say too much, you can cry but dont use words... the algorithm can catch it and make things worse.. i know i know..” then without too much explaining someone else in the group disappears, its implied they are going through something painful, theres also another wave of “careful. the algorithm. dont. say anything..”

and then i woke up

[angelicmichael]

Oohh, could you do number 10 from the physical affection prompts? "Lifting someone up out of excitement"? Maybe a pregnancy announcement or love confession with whichever Cody guy you feel most inspired by?

A/N: sooo I decided to use duncan for this prompt since I've never written for him before!! Also, I like a challenge so.. I made this both a pregnancy announcement and love confession 👉🏻👈🏻 hope you dont mind!! I hope you enjoy this dear anon 💖. This is a bit long and plot heavy hehe

~

Waking up to extreme nausea was not how you had originally planned to spend last weekend. What was supposed to be a fun weekend with your friends.. and fuck buddy.. only ended in you becoming best friends with the toilet with one too many plans cancelled.

You hated being sick; but feeling sick and miserable and guilty at the same time was beyond overwhelming. Most of your friends forgave you and understood why you had to reschedule plans. However... your fuck buddy which went by the name 'Duncan' wasnt going to be so forgiving.

Not at first anyway; you knew he would come around eventually.. give or take a few days.

Although, Duncans opinion of you was not the only thing you were stressed out about lately. You also wanted to know why the fuck you got so sick so fast.

It wasnt flu season, you had no reason to be sick, it certainly was not food poisoning... There was only 'one' thing it could still be..

You could be fucking pregnant.

Being pregnant in itself was not something you dreaded; being a mother was something you always knew you wanted to be, and would be one day.

The problem of being pregnant here had to do with 'who' the father would be. And that would be none other than Duncan fucking Shepard.

You knew it was him; you hadn't had sex with anyone in months besides him. Plus.. you two weren't exactly the most careful either when it came to using protection. You knew deep down if you were really pregnant at all; it would have to be with his baby.

Although, things still werent as simple as they seem.

Again, you really had no doubt that Duncan would make a good father, it was just the circumstances you two were in currently that complicated things.

He didnt know you loved him. You two weren't official, you two just happened to be really good friends who, you know.. had sex.

You were nearly certain he didnt love you back, not in the way that you meant anyway. You knew instinctively that when he said 'I love you' to you that he meant it in a way that he would say to his friend or family.. That's probably all he saw you as anyway, just as a friend or family.

That thought made you sick if you started to think that's how you can duncan could end up forever unless you or him made a move. It was a thought that frequently plagued you and even gave you insomnia most nights.

Those thoughts of you and Duncans 'relationship' are what caused you to get a pregnancy test. You needed to know why the fuck you were sick, and if those thoughts about you and Duncan were rational or simply your anxiety attempting to manifest. And of course to your fucking demise, it was a positive test.

You first sat in shock; and then you did the most stupid thing you could think of - you called Duncan.

Of course you didnt outright tell him, you only told him that you needed to see him ASAP and that he needed to come over to see you.

That was about 20 minutes ago.

You awaited for him anxiously in your apartment; you sat on your bed - fully clothed with a bit of makeup splashed on your face in a attempt to look put together. You were absolutely terrified to even think about what the fuck was about to happen.

Your thoughts were racing as you sat in the dark. You didnt even bother turning on the lights; the blinds were drawn as well. Sitting in the dark was kind of comforting - it made everything feel less real.. As if you were dreaming. Although, the anxiety you still felt reminded you that you were in fact, still awake. You truly had no clue what kind of conversation you were about to have.

You didnt even jump when you heard the front door loudly pop open, you had given him one of the keys to your apartment. You listened diligently to his loud footsteps echoing in the living room, as he gradually grew closer and closer to your room. Then, the door opened as you inhaled.

Duncan looked distraught as he entered the room. His hair was slightly disheveled, his outfit looked slightly wrinkled as well. Overall, he looked put together but the longer you stared at him - the more apparent it was that he wasnt okay. He wasted no time in getting to you once he opened the door, it almost threw you off guard at how calm he looked.. something you weren't expecting. You nearly laughed at how out of character this was for Duncan.

"Hey, are you okay"? Duncan asked, speaking rather quickly.

You watched as Duncan hurriedly but cautiously approached you; sitting next to you on your bed.

"I- I mean, yeah I'm okay. I just wanted to see you". You (semi) smoothly lied, thinly smiling in a attempt to try to sell your poorly told lie.

He rolled his eyes and gave you a look as if he automatically knew you were giving him bullshit.

"(Y/n), I know your sick, baby. Just tell me the truth". He said.

Your heart leapt into your throat once you heard him call you the petname. Duncan definetly called you pet names before but it was a rare, once in a long time type of thing. However, it felt like to you that the fact he called you 'baby' only solidified what you knew you had to do.

You had to tell him.

He deserved to know; and you deserved to move on with your life or to attempt too.

"Duncan.. I.. I cant keep doing this anymore". You started, speaking slowly. Your words tumbled fast out of your mouth, knowing that Duncan was about to interrupt you any minute.

"I need you to decide whether you want to be fully committed to me, or to not be in my life at all. I dont really know how to say this but, I'm in a stage of my life where I cant 'fake' be with you, Duncan. I cant only be with you behind closed doors. That's just.. not going to work anymore". You said confidently.

Even though you sounded confident, you really felt quite the opposite. You had no idea what to expect of how he would react. What if he just left?? What if he didnt want to be with you, at all??

You held your breath as he continued to sit next to you; the silence almost deafening.

You looked over at Duncan, he studied his hands which were clasped together over his knees. He looked as if he wanted to speak but he couldnt get the words out... until he finally did break the silence.

"So, what are you suggesting? What are you trying to get at here, exactly"? He prompted. His voice was still slow and calm but he sounded slightly irritated and on edge. You couldnt blame him.

Your mouth grew dry as you shifted uncomfortably. You were thankful he responded but yet.. you now were the one at a loss for words.

"I'm suggesting that.. we should start dating. I cant keep doing this-" You started but Duncan made you ate your words as he interrupted you with a rough kiss.

You felt the world stop and almost turn into slow motion as you really started to melt into the kiss. You let your previous anxiety inducing thoughts melt away the longer you two kissed, as you focused on being present in the moment.

After Duncan slowly and begrudgingly pulled away from you, you two sat in silence for a couple seconds.

"So that's why your acting like this"? Duncan asked with a sly smirk.

You swore it was as if he already knew the answer, yet chose to ask you anyway just to be a smartass.

"So.. you actually want to date me?? Your know what your agreeing too, right"? You said, partially teasing and.. actually being serious.

"(Y/n), do you really think I would be talking to you this long if I had no interest in you? Of course I want to date you, what kind of question is that"?! Duncan retorted playfully with a quiet chuckle.

You grinned, letting out a shallow laugh with the realization that the biggest news still remained untold; a deep pit felt like it resided in your stomach.

You weren't quite out of the woods yet.

In order to help relieve your anxiety, you suddenly stood up off your bed. You paced around your room, running a hand shakily through your hair.

"I still have to tell you something". You admitted, your back turned to him.

There was no way you could even fathom making eye contact with him now. To your horror, you could hear your bed gently squeak as you could only guess as he stood up.

By the time you felt his hand on your shoulder, it was too late to even hear his footsteps. You jumped and turned around with a sharp inhale - to your surprise, nearly chest to chest with the main himself.

Duncan.

"What are you trying to hide for, hm"? He said teasingly.

He moved his face closer to yours; his lips *so* close to yours. The corner of your mouth upturned in a small closed mouth smile.

You uttered a quick, "I'm not". As you stole a quick kiss.

You anxiously took a few paces back. Taking a deep breath before whipping around and making eye contact on a sudden spurt of courage you felt.

"I'm pregnant, Duncan". You spoke.

You felt almost as if you were dreaming when you saw his reaction, he was fucking smiling. Was he actually fucking happy?!

You stood there frozen as he quickly approached you and gently held your waist. Before you could even comprehend or really even complain of what was happening - you felt him gently lift you up and give you a quick spin before landing you back down safely on your feet.

Duncans smile was infectious; before you knew it you were grinning and laughing along with him.

Any doubt you previously had immeadietly disintigrated and was replaced with hope and joy. You knew Duncan was going to make the best father, and that you two only had your lives ahead of you.

~

Taglist: @mina672 @michaellangdonstanaccount @langdonsexual @jimmason @blakewaterxx @dark-mei-rose @9layerdevilfoodcake @prophecy-is-inevitable @matildaofoz @beautyiswithinchaos @frenchlangdon @beyond-repentance

[lovelyfinch]

my summary of ranboo’s story of his character from his stream

copied from my 5 page google doc i wrote instead of doing homework

this starts at the beginning and goes until 1hr 28 minutes into the stream

(i think i got basically everything he said)

joined the server, killed by dream, received a small tour from niki

the next day, he got a tour from tubbo, president of lmanburg. they talked about how ranboo was also running for president

shaped his first thoughts on lmanburg. that it was a good place.

finding michael with tubbo!

meets tommy! tommy tells him about george and ranboo agrees to burn down georges house (in order to not make enemies since he thought they had more than him)

niki and puffy were on a date and they tried to sneakily get past (asking niki for her armor, not suspicious at all)

tommy and ranboo grief georges house, accidentally burning it down. they ran from it, thinking they got away.

puffy asks if ranboo did it. ranboo couldn’t remember and doesn’t know why.

dream started building the walls on lmanburg

dream shows them georges house, destroyed. tommy gets blamed, ranboo is questioned bc puffy says she saw him. tubbo kills ranboo with the spoon (not canon)

the meeting hall to meet with dream. 

THE MINUTES MAN OF LMANBURG - tasked with taking the notes for the meeting

there was a pig man watching the meeting

the meeting did not go well. tommy brings out spirit against dream. dream played along but didn’t truly care, only caring for the disks.

tommy stood up for ranboo at the trial. they asked ranboo about it and he said his memory was bad but they cut him off. he never said he didnt remember the burning, only that his memory was bad.

being the minutes man gave him the idea to make the first Do Not Read book, writing who to trust and not trust

dream tubbo tommy quackity and fundy on the wall. tommy being taken away for some reason. the exile.

ranboo felt guilty because tommy wasn’t the only one who destroyed george’s house.

things in lmanburg were going great, he had a house and pets and was the minutes man and technically part of the cabinet

feeling guilty, he visits tommy in exile a few times. ranboo could tell something was off with him, with dream. so he wrote letters to tommy, trying to understand what he was going through in exile.

things were good, he built the ice cream shop with fundy

one day ranboo was approached whilst writing in his memory book. quackity tells him that techno is a traitor, the reason things are bad. and that they were gonna go get him and bring him to justice. which ranboo thought meant a trial and such.

the first butcher army meeting. ranboo is confused by it, the bloody butcher outfits. 

traitors are bad right? can’t have traitors

the butcher army went to technos place. ranboo shot a few arrows, maybe intentionally missing “he is a person still”

q gets carl and so techno agrees to go with the army

the execution. no trial. techno gets executed but survived.

phil, who saved ranboo from lava, who ranboo liked, gets put on house arrest. phil is mad at the army but ranboo was saying how he didnt think itd just be an execution. so the two are on even/neutral grounds.

ranboo talks to ghostbur, who calls him an aaron burr. they go to the snow, to technos. techno immediately tries to kill ranboo, who was just part of the butcher army. threatens him until he gives back all his armor.

tommy was at technos too. with techno. ranboo is surprised and writes it in his memory book.

ranboo goes back to lmanburg. realizes he just betrayed the entire butcher army by giving the armor back and saying he doesnt know where tommy is.

he kept seeing techno and tommy around lmanburg with dogs for some reason

he was kind of on both sides, techno/tommys and lmanburgs. he doesnt want to choose so he decides to help everyone

the festival plan to try to kill dream. ranboo spent time making festival games (the trident game!)

dream arrives and starts building the wall again

before the festival ranboo met with techno and tommy.

the community house was blown up. gone. 

according to dream it was techno and tommy.

dream says hes gonna blow up lmanburg again. techno joins him. blow it all the way to bedrock.

dream calls ranboo out as a traitor in front of everyone. dream has ranboos book. the first memory book. which ranboo had lost a few days prior, and found somewhere he didn’t put it. it had been moved. dream gives it to tubbo

THE PANIC ROOM. a place for him to think. the water outside providing a white noise. 

ranboo realizes that he kept choosing sides. he decides to choose people.

ranboo wonders how dream had his memory book

he checks the memory book and just finds the smile. the first smile. “all that was left is a smile”

that book becomes the second memory book.

the destruction of lmanburg on the horizon, they band together to attempt to stop it.

he speaks out. there are lots of people watching him

eye contact. he lashes out at people, as his judgement is impaired

he goes back to the panic room

the dream voice. a voice that is him but sounds like dream. it tells him that by trying to help everyone he has just betrayed everyone. ranboo doesn’t believe the voice because all he did was give techno his armor under pressure, right?

he decides the best thing to do is help the people who have helped him. lmanburg. 

but the first memory book is still missing

“it was time for doomsday”

they thought they still had time to save lmanburg. but then they heard explosions and withers.

lmanburg. “it was falling. it was gone”

people were suddenly switching sides and in the chaos of the destruction ranboo hears techno ask “what’s this do not read book”

ranboo runs to techno to get the book, techno has it. techno gave him the book and told him to get out of there, that he has no issue with him. techno showed ranboo mercy when he could have killed him

ranboo doesnt know where he stands with the destruction of lmanburg. so he watched. “watched as lmanburg fell”

he talks with fundy, with quackity, after the fall. fundy seemed off. quackity seemed to forgive ranboo, having read the book and changed his mind.

ranboo didn’t know what to do

“someone came in and asked me if i was okay. phil. phil realized that when he blew up everything” that ranboo was one of the few who lived in lmanburg and had no more home. phil offers him a place to stay, with him and techno

the situation is awkward at first but they get through it

MELLOHI

ranboo hears mellohi. “a disk from somewhere far away” “it was from the panic room”

he goes back to the panic room. “why was i hearing this from all the way over there” and takes out the disk. but then “an old friend came back. the voice.” 

but this time with more to say. that he was more of a traitor than he thought. the voice tells him that he has been helping dream the entire time. but that he just didn’t remember that. that he had something to do with the community house and other things on the server.

the voice wasnt dream. it was what he thought was himself trying to fill the gaps with memories.

he denies the voices claims. “you have no proof”

the voice says to mine an obsidian block. behind it are two pieces of tnt. 

he still doesnt believe the voice

ranboo is very confused. did he do it? did he not?

the disk war. tommy and tubbo had begun to prepare.

“the disks were very important right?”

“and then i just… lived. for a while.”

“for the first time in a while, happy. and that was good”

and so he decides that he is done. “done with living in fear of the dream voice”

and so he goes to the dream voice

“the dream voice said, hey? you literally have a disk”

“there’s no way i could have a disk right?”

but the voice says that he hid it. he met with dream. so he searched. and he found a disk. the disk. in a chest under his house. 

“so then i realized. something’s going on. there must be a reason why i cant remember these visits with dream, right?”

he “had been sleepwalking of sorts but that was a problem for another day”

time for the disk war. everyone thought that both tommy and tubbo would die

(he forgets what happens next? canon? idk)

dream was now in prison.

he decides to call the sleepwalking state enderwalking

everything was good. except the egg, but “we don’t gotta care about that”

ranboo has the “good idea” to visit dream

so he visits the prison. everything went normally. except “dream told me exactly what i didnt want to hear. apparently i had been visiting dream. i had been talking to dream.”

“and apparently i was one of his best friends”

and dream hands him his own memory book. the entire chest was filled with memory books.

“dream disappeared. and the prison started to crumble. and i guess the entire prison visit was just the dream voice but even worse”

so he didnt know what to do “i guess i’ll keep my head down. i didn’t really do much during that time”

but he needed to visit the prison again. “for real. to actually get closure”

he gets in to the lobby. sam asks his questions. and asks when the last time he visited. “and of course i havent visited before. so i said this is my first time.” and sam said “very funny” and tells him he has visited before. 

“i had technically visited the prison in the enderwalk. i asked sam to show me the books and they were written in ender”

he looked through the memory books, the three he had now. nothing showed that he had visited before. “there must have been a fourth book”

“i dont know what the fourth book is. and i still dont know where it is to this day”

“the fourth book wasnt a memory book. it was a book of the enderwalk” so he’s searching for it

he tried but nothing worked.

“i guess i was just kind of living. i noticed my tools on lower durability and my beacon had gone missing”

“the best thing to do is just live”

visiting snowchester a lot

done cool things with techno. techno was his friend now

“i was happy”

building the bee n boo, got married for tax reasons. 

the news. “after saving michael we got news. tommy had died. tommy was dead.”

the grieving stage.

one day ranboo decided to just relax. and then he sees niki. “what was niki doing at me techno and phils house?”

decided to be “extra stealthy” and watch out the window

techno asks him about anarchy, and ranboo says “that sounds good”

ranboo “had become part of something called the syndicate” which seemed to be for conflict resolution

tells the syndicate tommy died

tommy was alive? “somehow tommy was still alive. how? how is that possible?” 

and then something happened. ranboo gets brought to a room. with two shrines and a hallway. with everything people value.

he started to remember. to hear things. 

“so dream had a revive book. he was trying to control the server by using everyones loved things against them”

he doesnt remember when punz and everyone came and saved tommy and tubbo from being killed by dream

dream had to be stopped “before he could bring back the villains”

he has michael to protect now

tommy approaches while he is with tubbo. and ranboo agrees with tommy. they build that tower

talks with ghostbur “and he seemed like he didnt want to go, which was interesting”

“so right now im trying to kill dream”

but the enderwalk is still an issue. he needs to figure out how to stop the enderwalk. “it hasnt happened in a while, right?”

the reason he is doing everything is to make sure his adopted son, michael, is safe.

and that is the story so far.

[creacherkeeper]

How is the cowboi doing? :) I’d love to hear about some of their recent adventures.

OH WELL IT'S ME + ALSO MY DICE HATE(/love) ME SO YOU KNOW THEYRE GETTING WHUMPED CONSTANTLY LMAO

there have certainly been some Events Unfolding so those are under the cut, casey since youre in our campaign now NO PEEKING

fair warning this is .... long ..... you have asked me to talk about my dnd character and you simply CANNOT stop the floodwaters now. enter at your own risk

okay so basically the first arc of the campaign kind of kicked off with them getting a vision from their goddess (the grain goddess/goddess of agriculture) saying that she was trapped in a fey gate and that they needed to come rescue her

so erley immediately Rallied The Posse and set off to do that. they NUMEROUS times tried to pray to her, commune with her, basically just get ANY sort of communication or guidance from her, but the dice like to tell their story so i literally never got above an 11 (paladin with only +2 to religion my beloved) and they never heard from her, which was making them. pretty nervous. when it seemed like everyone else was able to talk to their gods just fine

well we eventually figured out that there was a huge gathering of fey in the woods (me: this might be too big for us to fight. what if its like 30 fey? / my dm, glancing at his notes where he has 2000 fey written down: (: ) and basically the fey like. had captured and were trying to kill what was left of the pantheon so they could bring back gaia as the One True God

we found all this out because it turned out several members of the party had been lying about how much they knew of the fey and had personal connections to the fey they'd kept hidden. and erley, who is ALSO HIDING A LOT from the party like. immediately went on the offense and was just generally very unhappy about this

there had been this fey merchant who kept popping up wherever we were trying to sell us magic weapons that seemed tied to us specifically. erley was always VERY suspicious of her and did everything in their power to stop the others from buying her weapons (which we literally had to buy with -5 to a skill point, not money, v sus) to mixed results. but basically when we got to the fey gathering (we called it gaiapalooza) erley rolled a 1 on their survival check to get through the magic field and like. got teleported to her. and they really wanted information from her so they basically were like LEORA I DONT KNOW WHO TO TRUST I THINK MY PARTY HAS BEEN LYING TO ME, CAN YOU TELL ME ANYTHING ABOUT THEM CAN YOU SEE US WHEN YOURE NOT THERE? and basically pretended to need a therapy session in order to milk her for information lmao. she also seemed like. REALLY interested in erley and i was also very nervous about that

and i was RIGHT to be suspicious of her because we found out she WAS ACTUALLY THE BIG BAD and we had to fight her in the arc finale. and several of our party members had rl stuff and were not there, and in game our druid was away casting an 8 hour long spell to try and stop the palooza ceremony, so our party was SUPER nerfed and also as soon as erley realized it WAS actually leora who was behind all of it and she WAS trying to hurt them with those weapons (the weapons were tethers to the gods to be able to kill them basically), they got .... a little angry

and my party found out after irl a year of playing these characters that erley's first level is barbarian :))

so erley raged and did frankly a staggering amount of damage in this fight, and also only stayed up because of rage because they took a LOT of hits. but also. they dont rage FOR A REASON so it sort of took them over and when leora dropped, one of the other pcs ran over to stabilize her as she was making death saves and erley :) maybe :) drove a spear through her heart and killed her :)

and her body immediately just like. overgrew with plants and vines and flowers and basically wrapped the spear in a bed of plants and it was very cinematic and cool

(we have since found out that leora was like. actually an aspect of gaia so. that is. interesting)

of course then erley popped out of rage and was like FUCK this is why i dont do this, i went too far, it always goes too far, THIS is why im ashamed of this, and just got very emo boi about it. so they used their last spell slot to cast restoration on the space they had fought in and reached out to their goddess, having just saved her and the rest of the pantheon like she had asked them to

and i rolled a nat 1!!!

(the dm was like "you have committed this violent act, you feel so low and so bad and in need of guidance, and reach out to your goddess. and the absolute lack of a response just makes you feel empty inside" and i was like :) oh :) okay cool :) you love to see that with your paladins huh)

at this point the druid came back in and, instead of erley like. examining any of their own shit immediately lashed out at her and was like "why did you lie to me about the fey, why did you lie about why you were here, why ARE you here because i realize now it wasnt to help me"

and at that point ONE OF THE FEY QUEENS WALKED IN and the druid was like "... mother ..." and we were all :O

so it turns out the fey queen is her birth mom but had like? kidnapped one of the children of her firbolg tribe and was holding her hostage and the druid was on a quest to find her and bring her back

so erley :) felt :) even more bad about that :) and very shamedly pledged their help to her, and basically was like "as long as youre on this noble quest i will follow you if you'll have me"

so we're on our second arc now, which is traveling across the country to go meet the fey queen and get this kid back. as we were traveling my dm had me roll religion and a luck check and i got a 21 ON RELIGION FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER and a 6 luck. and he was like "you dont usually dream, but you have a nightmare. you know this nightmare was given to you, it was divinely inspired, but you dont know who sent it" and it was just erley killing leora over and over and over again. so they were like. well fuck

(my dm also messaged me privately and we talked and he was like. yeah you can get rid of your oath of devotion and change it to oath of the ancients, i am not telling you or erley why the subclass has changed and you also might get nerfed later. also level up barbarian for the next fight)

so erley was. feeling PRETTY DANG BAD and very guilty and stressed and all that. they did also realize their barbarian side was getting stronger which, considering their backstory is all tragic barbarian shit they were NOT happy about. i was fully prepared to have them be more ostracized from the party and go into full angst mode, but then the druid actually like. pulled them aside and explained why she had hidden information from them, and had a very sweet conversation with them and held their hand and it was VERY touching (she also had the baller line "you think your goddess can hear you and she's not answering. but maybe you're talking in a whisper and she needs to hear you scream")

we had another fight (we're level 7 and my dm told us after it was a cr 32 fight like. dude??? what the fuck?????) and once again erley didnt go down only because of rage

THEY ALSO UNINTENTIONALLY CAST MISTY STEP (which is an ancients spell they didnt have before) and were like WELL NO TIME TO UNPACK WHAT THAT WAS RIGHT NOW, HAVE TO NOT DIE

after the battle was over i asked to roll a check to figure out why i had access to that spell and got :) yeah you guessed it :) another nat 1 :) so erley has literally no idea how they cast that or what it could mean. we just had a new pc introduced who is a sorcerer so erley is definitely going to talk to her and see if she knows anything. because they are FULLY IN THE DARK about their subclass change or what that means in game

we're also (because of the fucking cr 32 fight) going to be leveling up again soon, and babey you KNOW im leveling barbarian. after rage kept me up and then rolling another nat 1 religion check, and also me the player not knowing whats up with their goddess/magic, i simply cant level paladin rn. so im BETWEEN A FEW SUBCLASS OPTIONS and ive been thinking them over but i think it really depends how the next few games go

my FULL ANGST option was to make them level into zealot barbarian like their awful dad, but i thought that made the least sense in universe rn

secondary angst option is to level into berserker, which i think fits pretty closely with how i've been roleplaying the rage so far. trading off an extra attack for a level of exhaustion fits pretty closely. also whump central

the NICE option is to have them be a totem warrior barbarian, and have both their paladin steed and their totem be a bull :) (they are a cowboi after all) i think thats the closest i can marry their two classes and potentially have some healthy growth for them, let them see that the rage doesnt HAVE to be a bad thing, that being a barbarian isnt something they HAVE to be ashamed of. reskinning the bear totem would give them resistance to all damage but psychic while raging, and im planning on taking the tough feat, so theyd pretty much be ... an unstoppable tank. plus i can still divine smite while in rage so theyd be VERY powerful

and now youre all caught up on my very special boi :))))) bet you didnt expect quite that much of an infodump but. listen. listen im simply obsessed with dnd i cannot help it. any chance to talk about my characters i WILL TAKE IN A HEARTBEAT (thank u for prompting my ramble lmao)

[fatherquesadilla]

Orion D. Black -They/Them · @DungeonCommandr

4th Jul 2020 from TwitLonger

my statement

"It's July 3th and I no longer work for Wizards of the Coast. I no longer work on D&D, the little that I did. This is going to be a long thread and my last for quite a while, so bear with me.

I took the job for two reasons. The first was for the dream. To escape poverty doing what I love, writing and making games. The second was to make D&D welcoming to the millions who are scorned by it.

A lot of people had hope for D&D that they carried with me. While some people were upset to see me work for a corporation that overshadows indie, others hoped that I would be able to make real change. I tried. I failed. And I lost a lot.

Liking a tweet or post, RTing, or even following people who speak ill of WotC can lose you your job in an instant. That's why you never see it happen. @Zbeg is 100% correct. It's a silencing tool. I can say more now.

Kindness doesn't replace respect. Working within your comfort zone doesnt support change. Most people in that group were not ready for me to be there, a nonbinary Black person who would actually critique their problems. Idk what they expected.

I worked hard for a very long time. I got a lot of smiles and vocal support, but it was followed by inaction and being ignored. My coworkers were frustrated for me, and still are now. I confided in them often, cried on shoulders on a few occasions.

I realized at one point that leadership had given me 2 assignments over about 5 months. It was mostly me asking project leads for work, searching out opportunities. Leadership didnt really care about me or my growth. I had to.

I firmly believe that I was a diversity hire. There was no expectation for me to do much of anything. I probably disrupted them by being vocal and following up. It didnt matter if I was supported by seniors and positive.

I think genuine people proposed me as an option and it was accepted because it would look like a radical positive change. It would help quiet vocal outrage. And because I had to stay silent, it was a safe bet.

I started to lose all of my confidence. I started to lose trust in myself. After finding out that I wasnt getting an extension or FTE, I resolved to just finish things out and take care of myself. To stop fighting and to just survive, quietly. But it just kept getting worse.

They would talk about how they're going to start working on treating staff better, retaining contractors, actually answering questions. How much they were invested in diversity and change even though they hired two cis white dudes into two big leadership positions during this. One of whom claimed that he doesnt know what he's doing. No shit. I never want to hear "maybe they just hire the best person for the job" again.

I found out that some of my work was stolen, which destroyed me. It lined up with a project they were going to do and I had sent it in to someone in leadership months ago. The project was announced and this person who contributed "forgot" that we had a meeting where I gave them my ideas, and then a follow up document the day after. I knew nothing was going to be done about it. Someone else told me that the person said sorry that they forgot. That's it.

I was really losing my ability to do much of anything. I have depression and anxiety and ADHD, all of which I manage pretty well. But those parts of me were under the pressure of being ignored, disrespected, "forgotten", and not being able to say a word to the world.

Then, as social unrest continued global due to BLM, the D&D team comes out with their statement. It was like a slap in the face. How much they care about people of color, how much changing things (that I and others had been pushing for months, if not longer) was just going to happen now. It took weeks of protesting across the globe to get D&D to do what people they hired have been already telling them to fix. You cannot, CANNOT say Black lives matter when you cannot respect the Black people who you exploit at 1/3rd your pay, for progressive ideas you pick apart until it's comfortable, for your millions of profit year over year. People of color can make art and freelance, but are never hired. D&D takes what they want from marginalized people, give them scraps, and claim progress.

I spent my time in that building worrying about how much people hated me for working there. I spent a lot of time thinking about how much it hurt to work there. I had and still have supporters, and many. Thanks to you all for being my voice and speaking out when I could not. But I felt so isolated and alone. If not for some coworkers who checked in on me, who were going through the same things? I would've quit. Every angry statement about D&D felt personal because I couldn't fix it. Because I failed, whether it was my fault or not. I felt like I was being trashed by everyone because I could not disconnect what I set as a personal responsibility from the state of the game. That part IS my fault.

But I wound up as I am now because of all of this and much, much more. I am depressed. I am unable to write. I constantly question if anything I create is worth anything. I feel like I let everyone down, and no matter how much people tell me I didnt, that doesnt change. I feel guilty for not being what y'all needed me to be, what I wanted to be, and betrayed for how I was treated at that company. It's an exceptionally kind place on the D&D team. People are very nice to each other in a very genuine way that I truly enjoyed. However, that doesnt replace respect. That doesnt delete how I was treated. It doesnt change the fact that I honestly never want to play a trpg again and am definitely not working in that field anymore.

I know that I'm probably losing a ton of opportunities writing elsewhere because of what I've said here, as well as what I've sent in internally. It may mean that I will return to poverty, which makes me feel like a failure to my race, my family, and my partner who I want to provide the world. But under all these things, I have my integrity. I worked my ass off. I did my best for as long as I could. And I didnt let them treat me like that without telling the world what needs to be said.

Trust actions, not words. Not "look at how much we freelance so and so", because freelancing is exploitation of diversity with no support for the freelancer. Not "here we finally did what we KNOW we should've done a long time ago", because they only care about how optics turn to dollars. EVERYTHING involving D&D will continue to farm marginalized people for the looks and never put them in leadership. They wont be put on staff. They will be held at arms length. I hope they prove me wrong.

A lot of BIPOC and other marginalized people are trying to make their way by using D&D. Dont shame them for that. Think about how much, and when you wield your anger, that it is done righteously.

That said, I dont recommend to anyone, working for the D&D department of Wizards of the Coast."

https://www.twitlonger.com/show/n_1sra9pq

[harmonie-writes]

Friend Request/Black Mirrior Requester pt. 2

Part 2 to friend request where the 1/2 monster 1/2 mewman/butterfly, after their death, everyone's mourning, feeling tremendously guilty & just wishing for a second chance to make it up to them. But then she starts to haunt them through mirrors or any reflective surface just staring at them w/ this empty broken expression. Like she gave up on living & has literally no faith/hope or trust for anyone, anything and humanity all together. Then when everyone tries to visit to 'make amends'(1/3). Their/her ghost just shows up & stares at them w/ this now, furious look and asks what are they're doing & if they came to cause anymore damage. When 1-a tries to explain themselves she is immediatly reminded of what happened to her at the hospital & blows up saying that not any of them has the right to call themselves heroes & that they're no different from villains & she just loses control and turns into her butterfly form taking her & her parents caskets and opens a portal(2/3) That leads to the realm of magic & the class follows them only to see her opening her parents casket and throwing them inside & by the time pros/police arrive to the scene it's already to late. she ended up dumping her corpse into the well and everything just bursted with magic & the students think everything that happened was a dream and get ready for the licence exams & see her w/ other monster/non-human students except she's wearing the same look she had when 'haunting' them(3/4) They're just keeping their head completely down to the ground, being mute,avoiding contact/ignoring everyone/thing around them. 1-A realizes it wasnt a dream & are in shock but, try to talk to them and truely apologize(even though they know she'll never forgive them, they want to let her know how sorry they are) but she either keeps moving away or something. You continue whatever happens.(it's like in svtfoe rest in pudding ep in pt 1 & 2) I really adore your blog. Sorry if too much.💋🖤(4/4)💌

—————

AN: I apologize that this is so late for being posted. School has just started up and I’m in my senior year of college. Thank you Anon and all you lovely readers for bearing with me!

In butterfly form I believe you have two sets or arms?

Warnings: angst

—————

A few weeks have gone by since the incident in the hospital

Word traveled fast in the school of what happened, and Midoriya and Bakugou refuse to open up about it

Bakugou tries to play off that he’s fine, but he is a little more reserved than normal and doesn’t lash out as much as he normally would

Midoriya’s mumbling occurs far and few between as of late

Their classmates are worried about their well being, but also their own

Everyone has been seeing some odd things that they were sure would’ve ended by now, but hasn’t...

They were still seeing you, but it was a new you. More butterfly like, dull wings fluttering behind you but looking upon your face (reflection) it only held a sea of sadness

They were so panicked when they continued seeing your reflection quickly looking behind them only to find nothing, and upon looking back they would just see you shake your head is dismay before fading away

“We should visit them, ya know to maybe help (Y/N) find peace? That’s what they do in movies right?” Kaminari asked while they were all in the dorms one evening

There was a pregnant pause where everyone just looked between each other

“It coudn’t hurt right?” Tsuyu asked tapping her chin lightly before turning her head towards the boys who were effected the most

Bakugou’s face was looking out the window with what appeared to be much interest, Midoriya found a stain on the floor to be extremely fascinating as he pondered the idea

“I-I mean maybe it won’t hurt... maybe it’ll actually do something for us?” Midoriya spoke up looking at the blonde. “What do you say Kacchan?”

Huffing Bakugou looked away from the window and shrugged, “Yeah, whatever lets just get it over with.”

Everyone went to the small flat plaqure on the ground that had your name written on it. Some people from the class brought flowers to lay on your grave they knew you didn’t need to go through what you went through, but let it happen anyway

“Ugh-uh h-hey (Y/N), we just wanted to come by and say,” cleaning his throat Midoriya stepped forward with a small bouquet in his hand, “we just wanted to apolo-“

It was like a heavy fog rolled in over the grave

Everyone went on high alert, bouquets forgotten and being dropped onto the ground

Through the thick of the fog that rolled in they saw a dark figure move in towards the grave

“Why are you here?”

Everyone’s fighting stances dropped immediately, jaws hanging wide open

Everyone knew that voice so well, the only downside was that it still held venom

As you drew closer to your old class they noticed large glittery wings flowing behind you, but they were still grey in color like they had been faded

“I asked once don’t make me say it again,” you huffed out standing in front of them right as rain

Kirishima stepped forward noticing the state of the boys at the center of this, “Uh, hiya (Y/N) we didn’t think we would actually see you...”

“Ah that’s a real great way to start this off Kirishima,” you glowered at him

Flinching he raised his hands and tried continuing, “That came out wrong, I know... but we- we just wanted to apologize. For everything.”

Your eyes widened significantly. Offended beyond belief you couldn’t believe you were actually hearing this

Grounding out words you lowered your crossed arms to your sides, “You think you can just apologize? For everything you put me through?! No. No, no, no, no. That’s not this works.”

Balling your hands into fists you continued, “You think you all can just walk up here and beg for forgiveness? That’s so rich!” You cackled (actually though it was quite disturbing) and the class of 1-A could only stare

Stopping suddenly you looked towards your two ‘friends’, “You only came all this way to clear your guilty conscience and don’t even try to tell me you didn’t!”

All heads either looked down or away from your body unable to meet your intimidating gaze, even Bakugou backed down from you

“That’s what I thought...” you walked through the middle of them brushing shoulders with both Midoriya and Bakugou

They froze at feeling how solid you were, you weren’t a figment of their imagination

Eyes widening in alarm everyone looked as you fluttered and stretch your wings before taking off into the sky

“See you around ‘hero’s’,” your voice dripped in venom as you flew away

“We-we need to tell someone, anyone!” Uraraka panicked grabbing Midoriya’s shoulders and shaking him violently

“Pros... We need to get the Pros and the police!” Yaoyorozu stated turning and jogging down the path they walked up

“We need to hurry!”

“Shoji! Keep an eye out for (Y/N)!”

“On it!”

After alerting pretty much everybody that they thought would be needed they called Shoji

“Have you been able to stick with her?” Bakugou asked over the phone

“Yeah she is headed to the abandoned cemetery on the far side of town. We will meet you there,” Shoji said before hanging up

“Let’s move,” the chief of police said then looked to the students and hero’s in the room, “be safe.”

Upon arriving at the cemetery everyone paused. Why the heck were you digging up graves?

“...Look at the name on the graves,” Tooru whispered pointing at the headstone

It held your last name

“Is this her- is this (Y/N)’s parents?” Mina asked looking up at a detective that came with them

“It looks like it.”

Hauling out the caskets out of the holes you started opening them

Stopping briefly when you heard the pounding of footsteps rushing at you, alarm evident in your eyes as you furiously pound into the wood of the casket

In the midst of you panick you decided it was best to just leave them in their caskets and open a portal to your home

Flicking a wrist a spiraling portal started illuminating and growing in size, touching both of the caskets they started to float

“We need to stop her!”

“What the hell is that?!”

The shouts from behind you spurred you to move quickly pushing the caskets to the portal

Flying through the opening you ended up back in a familiar places breathing out a sigh of relief, again the moment was short lived when you noticed the portal closing too slowly

“Are we going through that portal?” Iida asked running along side Midoriya

“We don’t have much of a choice if we want to stop (Y/N),” Midoriya huffed sprinting through the portal that was shrinking

The class of 1-A were the only ones to make it through, pausing they looked around for anything that might give them a sense of where they are

“I- I don’t think we are in Japan anymore...” Uraraka said walking up to Tsuyu

The air crackled with tension, they had no idea what they just got themselves into

“There!” Sero pointed seeing the grey glittering trail fly behind you

‘Can’t they just leave me the hell alone!?’ You angrily thought picking up the pace. There was one place in your home that would reset everything and that is where you were heading

Glancing behind you one last time to see how far behind they were you continued, tired as you were at this point. Being in your butterfly form was taking a toll on you

Stopping short of the well in the courtyard you landed on the ground, “Finally we will be free,” you muttered.

“(Y/N)! Stop! What are you doing?” Midoriya called running closer to you while everyone lingered behind slightly

Turning to look at everyone you gave them a vague reply, “Something I should’ve done years ago.”

Moving to your parent’s caskets you picked them up both sets of arms and threw them down the well

Your old classmates didn’t know how to respond to you throwing your deceased family into a well all they could do was watch as you flew in after them

They heard the rumbling before they felt the ground shake beneath their feet

“What’s happening?!” Jirou asked clinging onto Yaoyorozu

“I think it’s an earthquake!” Iida yelled waving his hands in a frantic matter

All eyes turned to look at the well as it started shaking violently before erupting in a yellow liquid and crashing over them

Waking up the next morning everyone gathered down in the common room

“Guys, you will never believe the dream I had,” Kaminari said holding his head

“Did it have anything to do with a girl and an exploding well?” Jirou asked looking at him

Everyone paused choruses of “you too?” Went around the room

“We don’t have time to deal with a dream that probably meant nothing. We have the licenses exam in a few hours,” Todoroki said pushing off the wall he was leaning on

“He’s right lets not dwell on it,” Kirishima said hoping to get everyone to focus on what was really important

Arriving at the testing facility they unloaded off the bus and look around seeing the other schools that had arrived

Everyone stopped when they were met with a loud student from Shiketsu

“Inasa we don’t have time for this,” a girl said from behind him

Inasa turned revealing someone all too familiar to 1-A, and breaths hitched at spotting you. They recognized those wings and your face

“Ah, right sorry (Y/N). Good luck 1-A,” he bowed deeply before returning to your side

You glanced once in 1-As direction but averted your eyes to go with the rest of your class

They weren’t worth your time anymore so you decided to move on without them

“It wasn’t a dream...” Midoriya breathed out watching you turn your back on them

The only difference was that your wings were no longer grey they were a warm yellow, but even more so you were wearing the Shiketsu uniform

[negasonicimagines]

Gladdest (Soulmate AU)

For this, I’ll be using the soulmate AU where what happens to your soulmate’s body happens to you. I’m not sure who originally came up with this. Basically, how it works, is like, if your soulmate gets punched in the face, you feel like you’ve been punched in the face. If your soulmate dies, you don’t die, but you feel it. Same with broken bones, you’ll feel it, but your arm won’t actually be broken. But not just pain, other stuff. Like if your soulmate cries, you’ll feel it, but you don’t cry unless they’re super heartbroken, or if they get a really good hug you feel it, too. In my version of this AU, the pain and other feeling doesn’t start until you turn sixteen. Imagine how fucked up it would be if that wasn’t the case and you had a partner older than you? Like, while 13-year old Bill gets in a fight, his soulmate, who is only 3, feels the same punches and kicks. It’d be so fucked up.

warnings: nsfw (but no actual sex, just a lot of talking about it [and masturbation] and some sexually tense scenes), the reader nearly has a panic attack (again, i know, sorry. what can I say? I project), & reader has a thing for.... erotic asphyxiation. let me know if i missed anything.

I am very open to writing a part two with smut... I just chickened out with this because I felt it wouldn’t be good writing.

You’d been sixteen for a little while now, and there hadn’t been much contact from your soulmate aside from the occasional feel of a phone falling on your face and smacking it.

It’s the beginning of a new school year at Xavier’s, and you’re pretty thrilled. Your roommate this year is your best friend, Ellie. Okay, not just your best friend, she’s your crush, too. Do I really have to say, at this point?

“Hey,” she greets you, sounding rather sullen as she enters your dorm, where you sit on the edge of your bed.

“What’s up?” you ask.

“I turned sixteen over the summer and I haven’t felt anything to give me a hint. All my soulmate does is cry.”

“All my soulmate does is drop their phone on their face,” you offer a complaint in return, and the two of you lock eyes for a moment, one of realization.

“No,” Ellie says. “No.” She’s bright red, immediately thinking of just how many hot summer nights she was kept up, orgasm after orgasm after orgasm, gasping for breath at the way her soulmate’s fingers curled just right, just fucking right. There’s no way you, her crush and her best friend, were that good.

“No, can’t be,” you agree.

“Could be,” she reminds you.

“It’d make sense,” you admit.

“I hate everyone else but you.”

“We could try to find out,” you suggest.

She pinches herself.

“Ow! Not like that!” You whine, clutching at your arm. “Oh, well, I guess it’s too late th-” Ellie cuts you off with her eyes alone.

“Where does all that energy come from, Y/N?! What are you, the Energizer bunny?! At least three times a night, every night! What the hell?!”

You blush deeply, scratching the back of your neck. You hadn’t exactly expected you’d meet your soulmate anytime soon, or that they’d be bold enough to comment on your habits.

“I dunno, I thought it was normal for kids our age…” you mumble.

“Oh, yeah, well some people like sleeping and not screaming into the pillow because their soulmate has a little too much fun doing the five finger shuffle!”

“Please, louder. I think a few people in Antarctica didn’t hear you,” you retort, looking up at her from where you were sitting with a challenging expression.

“We’ve been friends for all this time and I never knew what a horny bastard you are,” she remarks.

“Well, I’m not the one who was ‘screaming’ in pleasure,” you mutter.

“I heard that!” she says, her expression still adorably indignant.

“If you hated it so much, you should’ve just got those over the counter meds, Antifel or whatever.”

“I- I…” She sighs. “Yeah, I didn’t hate it that much,” she admits, and you smile a bit. “But I wasn’t a fan of the choking,” she adds, gesturing at your scarf, your favorite one that she never would’ve guessed hides the bruises from where you’ve choked yourself with a belt, at least not before. “I’m more of a choker than a ‘chokee’, but, I guess that’d be obvious, wouldn’t it? Considering we’re soulmates and all.”

You nod, your eyes now on your lap, the floor, her tee shirt, the lamp in the corner, anything that isn’t her eyes, and she smirks.

“Oh, so now you’re shy?”

“A little,” you quietly reply, and she sits next to you on your bed.

“Let’s cool down,” she offers. “We’ve just seen each other after months of purely texting and the occasional phone call.”

“Thanks,” you respond, finding it easier to breathe.

“Why were you crying so much?” Ellie asks, addressing her original observation.

“Just depressed and lonely and stuff. I don’t have friends in my hometown, not like you.”

“You’ll always have me,” she says. “I mean it.”

“I’d hope so, soulmate,” you laugh off the seriousness of the conversation, and she sighs, looking to your eyes with her own soulful ones.

“I’m glad it’s you,” she tells you.  “I don’t think I’d be able to stand anyone else.”

“Yeah, right!” you huff out a laugh, confused at her sudden emotional openness. Sure, she was more honest about her feelings with you than anyone else, but that didn’t mean that she was a completely open book. Who was?

“You’re not disappointed, are you?” Ellie wonders because of your remark.

“God, no! I- I actually have a really big crush on you,” you admit.

“Yeah?” she asks, the cutest little grin on her face, you know the one. “I have a crush on you, too.”

You blush again.

“Sorry… I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, I’m not very good at flirting or anything like that. I don’t really care about much of anyone at all, and you’re definitely the only person I’ve really cared about in a romantic way, so…”

“No, it’s not that! I- You- You being really good at flirting is what’s got me like this. And the fact that I’m a dork who’s really bad at flirting contributes,” you explain.

“I am? Good at flirting, I mean.”

“Well, with me, at least,” you tell her.

“Um… Sorry if it’s lame to ask, but… Can I kiss you?”

“Of course! And it’s not lame to ask at all, El, I appreciate it actua- Mmf!”

You could live forever in the feeling of her lips on yours, her hands oh-so carefully holding your cheeks.

“Sorry,” she shyly says, as she slowly pulls away from you, looking in your eyes. “I’ve just been wanting to do that for a really, really long time. Pretty much since we met, actually.”

“R-really?” you ask, a bit breathless and definitely still flustered.

“Yeah, you’re perfect. In, like, every way. It’s the worst and the best.”

“I’m perfect?! But you’re- You’re you!” you argue, and she shakes her head, rolling her eyes. “I’m so lucky.”

“No, I’m the lucky one,” she disagrees.

“We can both be lucky,” you tell her, and she sighs.

“I suppose that’s a good compromise,” she decides. “So, what should we do before dinner? We’ve got a couple hours to kill, but I don’t think either of us has much more to say that wouldn’t be repetitive or… Something.” She blushes again, cheeks bright pink.

You blush back, reminded that she knew all about you and the things you did to yourself behind doors. “R-right,” you reply. Hey, you may be a horny motherfucker, but that doesn’t make you any less of a bottom.

“Can I see?” she asks, touching at your scarf. You nod, and she unwraps the scarf. She carefully touches the spotted bruises with her fingers. “With the belt you’re wearing?”

You can’t even speak. You nod, and the ghost of a smile graces her face before she just barely presses her lips to the bruises closest to her, on the side of your neck. Your hand quickly grabs her bicep tightly, and she stops, looking to you with concern.

“I’m so sorry, I got a bit carried aw-”

“No, no, it’s good, I’m just… Sensitive there,” you admit, and one of the biggest smiles you’ve seen her wear is on her lips.

“Yeah?” she asks, taking her crossbody bag off of her shoulder and opening it. She takes out a bottle of Antifel pills. “How sensitive?”

“Oh God, um… I- Um…” Your nerves are really getting to you, and your breathing gets heavier as you stare at the bottle. This is really happening. It’s really happening. You’d always wanted to, especially with her, but now that it’s a reality, you feel on the brink.

Ellie can recognize that look in your eyes, and it’s a look she’d hoped she’d never be the cause of.

“Shit, Y/N. What’s going on? Talk to me.”

“I- Um, I just- I want to? But I- I just- I don’t know, it’s just getting really hard to breathe, and uh, not in a hot way,” you joke nervously.

“Hey, you can want to and not be ready to right this minute. We haven’t even been on a date yet, okay? I’m really sorry if I made you feel like you had to do anything you didn’t want to,” Ellie tells you, and she feels immensely guilty either way.

“No! I liked you kissing me, especially where you did, but, you’re right. We should probably adjust to the news and put a label on whatever this is before we do anything too serious.”

Ellie nods. “You always were the more logical one. I’ll put these in the medicine cabinet and we can just… Talk about stuff, like we always do.”

“But with more kissing and cuddling, I hope?” you request, and she nods, going to put the bottle away before returning to find you bundled up in her comforter. “It’s so cozy…” you practically sing, at least to her.

“This is a dream,” she sighs happily, slipping off her shoes and joining you in her bed. You spoon her side, and she hums in content, stroking your hair.

“You’re in a good mood,” you comment. Ellie is not a very cheerful person, at least not openly. So, to see her like this was surprising.

“Yeah, of course I am. It’s you. It’s really you. I’ve never been happier in my life,” she says, having really been hit with the fact that you’re her soulmate. All hers. “All mine…” she hums.

“You really know how to make a girl feel special… I mean it. I’m really not all that.”

“Please be my girlfriend,” she requests.

“Only if you’ll be mine,” you reply, and she scoffs.

“I think that’s how that works, babe.”

Your heart skips a beat and you stare at her in wonder.

“Sorry for not asking if pet names were okay…It’s just something I like, it’s really stupid.”

“No, I really like it, hence the dumb stare and the lack of breathing.”

She chuckles, holding you tighter. You smile with her, glad that she’s happy.

“I hope you don’t feel like you have to over-exaggerate how happy you are. It’s okay if you’re not ridiculously happy about finding your soulmate.”

“Oh, no, I’m as happy as I sound. I’m, uh, definitely a textbook case of Lesbian That’s A Grumpy Bitch Til She Gets A Girlfriend. But then again, I’ll probably just be a significantly less grumpy bitch to everyone but you, sorry.”

“I don’t mind, I like you being your bitchy self,” you reply, being rewarded with a kiss placed atop your head that sends tingles dancing down your body. “Mm… I like that.”

“Good,” Ellie responds. “I’m glad.”

“I’m gladder,” you tease.

“I’m gladdest...”

[lizziebennet]

Hi Aurora okay first tysm for your blog It's so lovely to have another person so passionate about my fave things (i.e hp and period dramas) Anyway, i recently read the HP series (again) and found myself feeling SO MUCH. I genuinely teared up at so many different touching parts and I was just wondering what are your favorite most heart-wrenching/emotional parts from the books? I realize this is a lengthy quesition so feel free to never answer this or take a year.

ye S SS i love being passionate ab things and sharing that passion w my followers!!!!! i love yall esp when u ask me questions like this where i get to talk ab my fave things everrrrrrrrr (ps thank u so much for letting me take forever to answer this ur so cute to say that ilysm)

ok so literally i will cry my way thru the entire series when i reread bc harry potter has so much emotional weight for me and so many memories that go along with it. but i decided to limit myself to just 10 bc otherwise id be sitting here typing all day. so w/o further ado: 

AURORA’S TOP 10 MOST TEARFUL HARRY POTTER MOMENTS: 

((in no particular order)) 

HARRY READS LILY’S LETTER IN DH: listen harry doesnt actually spend a lot of the books angsting over the fact that he doesnt have parents but in moments like this u remember he IS AN ORPHAN AND IT GETS ME SO HARD. fuk like just picturing harry crouched on the floor of sirius’s bedroom reading that letter… rereading it… crying… wow.gif!!!!! the line that makes me cry eveRY TIME is “She had made her g’s the same way he did : he searched through the letter for every one of them, and each felt like a friendly little wave glimpsed from behind a veil.“ LIKE RIP RIP RIP ABORT ABORT ABORT ITS TOO SAD!!!!!

THE LOST PROPHECY IN OOTP: JESSESCREAMING.JPEG!!!!!!!!!!!! listen ,,, i talk ab this chapter so much on my blog. it is my #1 favorite moment in my #1 favorite harry potter book which is my #1 favorite series of all time. SO ITS A PRETTY BIG DEAL. harry’s reaction to sirius’s death… his anger at dumbledore… his grief… his discovery of his fate… its beautiful writing and its so painful but so amazing to read. LIKE!!!!! MY BABY!!! HE’S LOST SO MANY PEOPLE!!!!!!!! MY SWEET SUMMER CHILD!!!!!!!!!! “I DON’T CARE!“ Harry yelled at them, snatching up a lunascope and throwing it into the fireplace. “I’VE HAD ENOUGH, I’VE SEEN ENOUGH, I WANT OUT, I WANT IT TO END, I DON’T CARE ANYMORE!” “You do care,” said Dumbledore. He had not flinched or made a single move to stop Harry demolishing his office. His expression was calm, almost detached. “You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it.”” LIKE LITERALLY WHEN I GET TO THIS POINT I HAVE TO TAKE A BREAK BC IM CRYING SO MUCH I CANT MAKE OUT THE WORDS!!!!!!!!!!!! also fun story: one time i was listening to ootp on audiobook while on vacation and we were in the car waiting to taxi on to a ferry boat and we were listening to this chapter when the ferry guy came by to take our tickets and i had like TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY FACE and jim dale is yelling as harry in the background…. the guy was like ‘is this bitch ok??’ lmaOOOOo 

HARRY AND THE MIRROR OF ERISED IN SS:  this is another one of those moments where you remember that harry is an orphan and its /so/ painful. thinking about this teeny 11 year old baby harry sneaking out every night just to sit in front of this mirror so he can see his parents………my darling baby sweetheart i love him So Much. it just makes me so sad like hes /so young/ AND HE JUST WANTS TO SEE HIS PARENTS!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHH!! it also gives way to one of my all time favorite hp quotes: “It does not do well to dwell on dreams and forget to live.” 

HARRY STOPS SIRIUS AND LUPIN FROM KILLING PETER IN POA: me reading this part is literally ISAYTHATSMYBABYANDIMREALLYPROUD.GIF!!!!!! like!! my boy!! he finds out this man literally caused the death of his parents and he MAKES THE GROWN ASS ADULTS SPARE HIS LIFE… LIKE… he literally acts twice his age and is so mature and is just…….so amazing. it shows such strength and wisdom and it makes me SO PROUD. the way he references james also makes me cry because you see the relationship harry has with james even though he’s literally never met him and its so beautiful. i love harry so much. 

HARRY AFTER SECTUMSEMPER-ING MALFOY IN HBP: this is literally the opposite of that last one where im so proud of harry this is def… not one of his best moments lol. he rly rly fucks up and his guilt is so raw and it makes me so emotional because i feel SO bad for him. its def an important harry moment in the books because it shows his flaws and the consequences of his rage, but it also shows how GOOD he is because he feels so bad about what happens and like willingly takes his punishment even though it means that he cant play in the quidditch match. he really like… atones and even tho its rough to read i def love that its a part of the series bc its a really like watershed moment for harry and i think it really reminds him of the wizard he wants to be. this part also leads to i think a more satisfying harry/ginny first kiss bc ginny defends harry and then him not going to the game leads to “several sunlit days” AKA ONE OF MY FAVE HP MOMENTS EVER!!!!!!!!!!!

HARRY AND HERMIONE VISIT JAMES AND LILY’S GRAVE IN DH: “But they were not living, thought Harry: They were gone. The empty words could not disguise the fact that his parents’ moldering remains lay beneath snow and stone, indifferent, unknowing.And tears came before he could stop them, boiling hot then instantly freezing on his face, and what was the point in wiping them off or pretending? He let them fall, his lips pressed hard together, looking down at the thick snow hiding from his eyes the place where the last of Lily and James lay, bones now, surely, or dust, not knowing or caring that their living son stood so near, his heart still beating, alive because of their sacrifice and close to wishing, at this moment, that he was sleeping under the snow with them.”  THIS IS ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE MOMENTS THAT I HAVE TO STOP READING BC IM CRYING SO MUCH I CANT MAKE OUT THE WORDS ANYMORE. I CRIED TYPING THIS. IM SO SAD. 

THE FOREST AGAIN IN DH: hoo boy. hoooooo boy this is a Big One. this one is really…. wow. just. wow. [deep breath]. there is So Much in this chapter that makes me cry where do i even START. harry realizing that he has to die and ACCEPTING IT BRAVELY LIKE THE HERO HE IS. “Why had he never appreciate what a miracle he was,  brain and nerve and bounding heart?” im crying….. hes so good. HARRY NEARLY STOPPING WHEN HE SEES GINNY and ginny’s crying and comforting some girl and im crying too. JAMES. SIRIUS. LILY. REMUS. WHEN HARRY ASKS IF IT HURTS TO DIE LIKE LITEARLLY I HAVE TO PUT THE BOOK DOWN AND GET UP  AND WLAK AROUND THE ROOM BECAUSE I GET SO EMOTIONAL LIKE. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! when harry sees harry and screams at him ……………… rip in pieces me!!!!!!!! ALSO ONE OF HIS LAST THOUGHTS BEFORE THE AVADA KEDAVRA IS OF GINNY AND KISSING HER……….. [GUNSHOTS] [SCREAMING]

BELLATRIX TORTURES HERMIONE IN DH: fuk this scene is no joke scary like it took harry potter to another level of real darkness. hermione being tortured was so chilling like beautiufl amazing smart snarky hermione it was so painful to read like my heart rate goes up when i read it bc im worried for my girl :/ and ron is sHAKING and like screaming and literally throwing himself at the walls to try to get to her and its SO upsetting like. they are still CHILDREN like theyre all so young and they dont deserve this like. hearing her plead and stuff … its just…. too much. these are my CHILDREN i have to PROTECT them. 

HARRY DIGS DOBBYS GRAVE IN DH: this is another one of those harry moments where i just want to give him a huge hug. like he insists on digging dobby’s grave by hand which is just ..... [gets choked up] its fine. and his thoughts while he dig make me so sad. he so /tired/. hes so frustrated with dumbledore and he the hallows and the horcruxes and he feels responsible for what happened. and ron coming out and helping him dig silently makes me so happy and its one of those times u really see how much rons friendship means to harry. and harry comes out of this like ... older and more mature? his wisdom and knowledge is rly apparent when he talks with griphook and olivander right after this like. he knows what hes going to do. hes made his choice. hes not going to race voldemort for the wand. i love him so much for that choice. hes such a grown man in this part like accepting responsibility, taking care of hermione and everyone like getting things in order. i love him. 

MRS WEALSEY HUGS HARRY IN THE HOSPITAL WING IN GOF: “’It wasn’t your fault, Harry,’ Mrs. Weasley whispered. ‘I told him to take the cup with me,’ said Harry. Now the burning feeling was in his throat too. He wished Ron would look away. Mrs. Weasley set the potion down on the bedside cabinet, bent down, and put her arms around Harry. He had no memory of ever being hugged like this, as though by a mother. The full weight of everything he had seen that night seemed to fall in upon him as Mrs. Weasley held him to her. His mothers face, his father’s voice, the sight of Cedric, dead on the ground all started spinning in his head until he could hardly bear it, until he was screwing up his face against the howl of misery fighting to get out of him.” HARRY POTTER DESERVES MORE HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he feels so guilty about cedric and god bless mrs weasley for telling him it wasnt his fault because it WASNT!!! he did so amazing in the graveyard like.. .he saw voldemort return and he fought him and he survived and he saw his paretns and hE TOOK CEDRICS BODY BACK SO IT COULD BE WITH HIS FAMILY!!!!!!!! HE TOOK IT BACK FOR THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  i would die a thousand deaths if it meant that harry didnt have to experience this pain!!!!

whew so there we go!!!!! the bottom line is obviously that i love the harry potter series more than anything and specifically i love the boy harry potter so so SO much and his suffering is agonizing to read and he didnt deserve any of it!!! i can litearlly think of SO many more heartbreaking moments in the series but here are just a handful. happy birthday to harry!!! 

[skiasurveys]

Talk about...

1: Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie. - I cant remember that well since I was a little kid.. ( The lion king), um but I remember being so into it and I loved animals and it kind of started me wanting to draw. But i cant remember the first time i watched it. 

2: Talk about your first kiss.  We were really awkward, I liked him..but not enough, and so we went driving around, got starbucks, and then found this bench and we were talking/flirting, and then he just kissed me. But it was nasty asf, it was so gross. his spit was all over me, blehh. I hated it. I remember being like if this is kissing i do not want it. It wasnt tell i kissed another person that i was like Oh thats what its supposed to be like..

3: Talk about the person you've had the most intense romantic feelings for. He is my current boyfriend. We met on Okcupid in 2015 right after i had finished high school. It was like September. its funny because i wasnt rly serious on that site but then I started to talk to him and we hit it off really well.. we dated for  a week then broke up LMAOOO. But then in April 2016 we started to talk again and in May we dated. so its been a year so far, and i am really in love with him. He and I click very well, he’s  7 years older than me. we play video games together but sometimes i watch him play by himself cus its fun that way too. He likes anime tho and i hate it lol. hes very funny and he can be super sweet and romantic and sometimes hes jusr a fkn nerd. idk what else to say before i start going on forever about it.

4: Talk about the thing you regret most so far.  Meeting the dude who assaulted me. we were just friends and i had a bad feeling about him but i shoved it off. and then he attacked and assaulted me. I wish i went with that gut feeling. Thank god hes gone.

5: Talk about the best birthday you've had.  My best birthday was either my 18th or 19th. My 20th was boring. But my 18th I got a wii U and i got drunk too, and i had fun. but yeah, like idk the best prob was when i was a child and had lotsa friends and cake.

6: Talk about the worst birthday you've had.  My 16th because my dad was dying.

7: Talk about your biggest insecurity.  My biggest insecurity is my body shape.weight. I just hate it because I feel fucking ugly and fat and I really am not, but idk i just want to be skinny and tiny.

8: Talk about the thing you are most proud of. I am proud that i graduated and got my license, since I was struggling to graduate which was like 2 years ago but i was going through a lot.

9: Talk about little things on your body that you like the most. I like my eyes, and I do like that i have small hands and feet. ( its easy to find shoes). But I also like my legs and that I have a bigger butt. 

10: Talk about the biggest fight you've ever had.  theres been a few. But i think with my ex friend who just said she hated me and it was random asf, but she ghosted on me after and so it wasnt really a fight. another one i had was when i started to date my current BF and he wasnt being the best and I was like maybe i should drop him so i tried too and then we fought and then we actually were adults and explained the situation and we sorted it all out. since then we have been so good. like we know how eachother works. Lol fuck.

11: Talk about the best dream you've ever had. I cant think of one.

12: Talk about the worst dream you've ever had. i had a nightmare where this creepy ass creature was crawling up my walls and turned its head all around and had lifeless eyes and creepy sharp jagged teeth, and it was just terrifying. but then my mom killed it.. wtf

13: Talk about the first time you had sex/how you imagine your first time. The first time i had sex I was super nervous. ( It was with my current bf), and we tried and then i started to cry because I was nervous and also from my trauma, and then he was like okay thats fine. Then later that night he asked if we wanted to try again so I said sure. and so we started to make out and then before i knew it was actually inside me and I was like wtf that wasnt bad, and it felt really good. It wasnt overly romantic like they make in movies but it was super good and he was slow and good with me. ever since then i crave dick every minute LMAOOO.

14: Talk about a vacation.  I went to disneyland with my mom the year i was graduating high school. It was so much fun, I felt so safe and happy . I cant really explain what i felt just felt like everything was gonna be OK and the rides were just so awesome and the food was great lol

15: Talk about the time you were most content in life.  It was when I was starting to date Connor again and we were hanging out and I was like wow, my life is going perfect right now and I felt so happy.

16: Talk about the best party you've ever been to. I never go to parties but the one i went to was at my boyfriends friends house and I just started to drink rum n coke and it was really good and made lots of friends but there wasnt that many people there but i felt really happy.

17: Talk about someone you want to be friends with.  I cant think of anyone lol

18: Talk about something that happened in elementary school.   i got bullied alot for stupid shit.

19: Talk about something that happened in middle school.  I was in foods class and I was with my friend Jenna, Brittney, Shae and Julia. There was orientation for the kids from elementary that night, and so we asked if we could stay extra and make the cookies and so we were allowed. Then Julia and Shae left to use the washroom. Jenna and I had finished up and were heading to our other class, and as we walked in there was a alarm for a lock down and we were like holy shit. There was somekid with a knife walking around. they calmed him down, but it was really creepy. But our friend brittney was by herself in the foods room and she was crying and i felt so bad omg rip brittney

20: Talk about something that happened in high school.  I had math class one afternoon and the class before me apparently this girl had a seizure. But i didnt know, so when we walked in the classroom I was like wtf why are the desks all pushed around and so i thought they did some activity, but it turns out this girl had a seizure, and my friend told me about it and how it was super traumatizing our teacher even got bit. it was really weird..

21: Talk about a time you had to turn someone down.  He is my friend still but he really liked me and he asked me out and I had to tell him No and i said that i wasnt looking for a relationship but it was super awkward but hes cool.

22: Talk about your worst fear.  choking.

23: Talk about a time someone turned you down. I really liked this one guy and we went on a first date and then he asked if  i wanted to chill the next week and so i said sure. But then that day he had texted me and said he was busy and that i couldnt come over and so I was like Oh ok, cool. and then he told me to make sure i wasnt looking for anything serious, and then so i never saw him again after the first date. But he was really boring so thank god i didn’t. and its funny cus a few months after he had some gf and i think he is still with her cus i would see them at the mall all the time. but yeah im glad it didnt work out!

24: Talk about something someone told you that meant a lot. One night ( this is cheesy ) It was like 4 am and Connor was watching TV and I was scrolling through tumblr lookin at funny memes/posts and he just turned and looked at me and said “Jen, youre my best friend” and it just made my night. It was super sweet and i felt great. 

25: Talk about an ex-best friend.  ho ho ho okay, so we were friends since grade 9 summer/beg of grade 10. we were close asf, we liked the same shit, we thought the same. she was great. she was the first best friend i ever had rly. so a couple times through out our friendship she would kind of vanisha nd not talk but it was her depression and it was annoying asf. anyways.. after grade 12 grad  (this is like oct 2015), i tried to message her but it wouldnt let me! so i soon realized she blocked me on everything. i texted her thanks for that and then feb 2016 we became friends again, then may 2016 she ghosted on me but she finally sent message saying how she hated me etc and really too this day it hurts but i still dont know what actually fucking happened.

26: Talk about things you do when you're sick.  if im really sick  i just sleep and watch youtube videos. or ill have a bath.

27: Talk about your favorite part of someone else's body.  i really love my boyfriends arms. theyre so big and strong. mmmm.

28: Talk about your fetishes.  i dont rly have a fetish tbh.

29: Talk about what turns you on.  i like when my bf dominates me, but not too hardcore. I like neck kissing, facial hair, deep voices, motivation. I like being tackled like play fighting and i like when he touches my thighs etc. mm

30: Talk about what turns you off.  being an asshole, racist/sexiest, if youre super smelly. if youre really tall and skinny.

31: Talk about what you think death is like.  i dont know. its probably weird asf.

32: Talk about a place you remember from your childhood.  i remember this place called Moonwalkers and it was this crazyass jungle gym we had and it was the best shit ever.

33: Talk about what you do when you are sad.  i draw, listen to music, have a bath..etc

34: Talk about the worst physical pain you've endured. getting hit by a car.

35: Talk about things you wish you could stop doing.  i wish i would stop comparing myself to every fucking person i see.

36: Talk about your guilty pleasures.  some anime. 

37: Talk about someone you thought you were in love with. i thought i loved wade, but i really was just liking the idea of someone. this was in high school. lol it was really weird and i didnt like it.

38: Talk about songs that remind you of certain people. it depeds on the song and the person. pink floyd reminds me ofmy ex friend. Anime/kpop songs remind me of Kyra and super lovely songs and omam remind me of connor

39: Talk about things you wish you'd known earlier.  not everyone you lose is a loss.

40: Talk about the end of something in your life. the end of high school and teenage years was really weird. i remember feeling so out of place and not sure what t do with myself.

[kookingtae]

You have to make a huge post and tell us all the dreams I wanna hear 👀

omg so ive been putting this off for forever bc iTS SO MUCH but i think ive finally got enough time to sit down and type it all out (this is really long so if you want to read some of them, theyre below the ‘keep reading’)

the very first dream i ever had about bts was about jungkook big shocker there except it was long long ago in a galaxy far far away when i biased tae! it was me and jungkook making out on my bed, like full on making out with tongue and teeth and heavy breathing and everything (fUCK im getting flustered just thinking about it) and then all of a sudden he sat up and whipped his dick out! it was vivid af too so when i woke up i felt like i had really seen his dick. then he got back on top of me and we were about to fuck but mY FUCKING MOM WALKED IN!!!!!!!!!!! SHE COCK BLOCKED EVEN IN MY DREAMS WTF i was so mad at her when i woke up

my second dream (i pretty sure it happened while i was still biasing tae as well) took place in this olden day village on a cobblestone street, i dont remember the story behind it but all i remember is jungkook whipped out his dick aGAIN AND THAT SHIT WAS FUCKING HUGE!!!!!! like abnormally long LMAO i was like O.O and he just kept on stroking it and jacking off and i was like jUNGKOOK WE’RE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD and then i woke up 😂

after that i lost track of the order they happened but i’ll just list them out (btw i know ive had more than this but these are just the ones that are most memorable)

one of the ones that had the biggest impact on me happened the christmas of 2015, and still remember it so clearly bc it was the dream that made yoongi wreck my bias list for the very first time. before then he had been like 4th? 5th? but this made him move all the way up to 2nd O.O

it started out as he and i were dating and i had just finished listening to a song he released where he SANG INSTEAD OF RAPPED!!!! AND IT WAS ABOUT ME. it was such a big deal bc that had never happened before and i was literally crying???? after i listened to it i was super emo and just wanted to see him and love on him and tell him how lucky i was to have him in my life. but when he called to say that he was outside my house to pick me up, i went out there all happy and excited and opened the passengers side door to see hoseok -_- i was annoyed to say the least. here i was on the verge of tears and wanting to spend time with him, and he brought a car full of ppl to accompany us on our date.

i proceeded to squeeze in the small backseat next to an already squished jin, namjoon and jimin. and to make things worse, yoongi was basically ignoring me the entire time to goof off with his friends. i hadnt even gotten a chance to tell him i’d listened to the song he’d just released bc he wouldnt give me the time of day. plus, the topic was too emotional to bring up around his friends. so as we went out to eat and squeezed into that tiny ass booth, yOONGI NOT EVEN SITTING NEXT TO ME, i got the bright idea to make him jealous. maybe then he’d finally notice me.

i did some subtle things at dinner, but nothing too serious until we got back to yoongi’s bedroom and everyone started drinking. i wasnt drunk, but jimin was so he was an easy target for my scheme. at one point he and i were laying down on yoongi’s bed, my back against him and curled into his embrace with his arm slung over my waist and lips lightly pressed to my neck. thats when yoongi saw us and snapped. he kicked everyone out, “that means you, dongsaeng. get your hands off of jordan” he even hissed at jimin and gritted his teeth. “ok, jeez,” jimin had said defensively, to which yoongi replied “thats hyung to you.” needless to say, he was pissed.

once jimin got off of me and i started to get up, yoongi turned to me and said “not you” in a less angry but just as stern voice. i remember being filled with rage, like “oh, so now you notice me?!” yoongi acted confused at first, but once he realized what i was talking about his expression softened and he seemed to feel bad. he silently pulled me into a hug and we laid down on his bed, both sad and feeling guilty at the turn of events. then the dream ended with us both cuddling in his bed, his cheeks between my hands and my waist in his arms, where i told him i’d listened to his song about me and we were both crying and saying how much we love each other and kissing sweetly.

after that, i had aNOTHER yoongi dream in the same night where i had the job of cleaning a dormitory that yoongi lived in. so he was basically my boss, but not really bc he wasnt the one who signed my checks. i still had to respect him tho. the thing was, i didnt speak korean very well (yes, it was a language barrier dream!!) and so he had to teach me some of the words and customs of their culture. a lot of the things i was doing were considered rude, so we didnt like each other at first bc he thought i was bratty and i thought he was an asshole. we fought all the time, eSPECIALLY after he made me call him oppa. i didnt want to show him that kind of respect.

but after a while we ended up bonding the more time we spent together (i was there everyday doing housework after all) and i developed a crush on him. it was unspoken but both of us liked each other, and at one point i confronted our feelings bc it was getting frustrating always having to walk on eggshells around each other and pretend like there was nothing between us. i wanted to be together, and yoongi did too, but then he told me that we couldnt bc he was in bts (which hadnt been brought up the entire dream until now lmao) so basically, it had a sad ending :”)

needless to say, after i woke up that christmas morning i was fucked up.

another one of my favorites was one with tae that i actually wanted to write a fic about when it happened!

i worked at this prestigious company of some sort, and i was in my high-rise building office and had a perfect view of my car in the parking lot below. at one point i was looking out the window and saw tae (who i didnt know at the time) in this black leather jacket breaking into the cars one by one and stealing all the belongings. he was going thru them in order and getting closer to my car, so i panicked and quickly ran down there to stop him.

i reached him rIGHT when he was rummaging thru mine, and i forget the exact dialogue but i remember bickering with him and we were both assholes to each other bc i was mad he was stealing my shit and he was annoyed that i had interrupted him. he told me he was taking everything to a pawn shop, and i managed to talk him out of cashing in all my stuff except for one ring that a family member had given me. he seemed shocked to see that i had it and told me that he had to take it to his boss right away. i was all liKE HELL YOU ARE so i jumped in his old beat up pickup truck with him and rode with him to go turn in it.

it was a long drive and along the way we started talking and figured out there was some sexual tension there beneath all that hatred and next thing i know, im practically on his lap while hes driving sucking a hickey into his neck. and then fucked in his car O.O needless to say, we hit it off.

he ended up parking at the pawn shop where he planned on cashing in all the other items, and for some reason there was a photo booth outdoors in the middle of parking lot on a median???? regardless we went inside of it and tae wanted to fuck. i was super reluctant about it bc i was like tAE ITS OUTSIDE SOMEONE COULD SEE OR HEAR US and he was like “so? live on the wild side a little” like the bAD BOY HE IS (my weakness is bad boy tae ok) and then we ending up fucking in the outdoor photo booth and i woke up!

another one was where i was on this pirate ship trapped as prisoner trying to escape, and i got the help of jin who i think was one of the pirates or something?? idk but i was super skeptical to trust him at first but then we started making out (it escalated really quickly lol) and i remember the feeling of his lips were sO PLUSH. after that im pretty sure i trusted him and he treated me like his girlfriend that he cared about and would keep on kissing me and eventually helped me escape!!

i planned on telling a lot more dreams than this but i dont have as much time as i thought lol :/ most of them are about jungkook tho, and ive had more soft, fluffy dreams about him than i can count on all my fingers and toes. language barrier ones, shy!jungkook ones, boyfriend ones - you name it, ive dreamt it.

my most recent one took place at a water park, and all of bts and my friend and i went on a day trip there. jungkook and i ended up breaking away from the rest of the group and were just being cute and doing our own thing. we would float in the wave pool a lot with my legs wound around his waist and my arms around his neck, and his arms around my lower back holding me against him, and we would kiss and laugh and do a bunch of cute relationship things 😭😭😭 IM GETTING EMO JUST THINKING ABOUT IT

but the majority of my dreams have been romance-based and made me curl up into a ball of sorrow when i woke up bc i know they’ll never be real :”)

[justventingjustventing-blog]

#139 TALK ABOUT

1:Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie.

My grandma told me about it, she said she read about it in a magazine about how it’s kinda weird but alright. We watched it on Christmas that year. And then I watched it again that night and then the next day. Donnie Darko- best movie ever. 

2:Talk about your first kiss.

 I broke up with my boyfriend after a football game when me, him, and one of our friends was walking home (we all lived in the same area) then me and the friend that was with me ran away because my now ex was following us. we went to the dollar store and got a helium balloon and went into the ally across the street. Sucked the shit out of the balloon and then made out. 

3:Talk about the person you’ve had the most intense romantic feelings for.

My husband. He is so amazingly perfect I literally can not describe my feelings for him. It’s like not a physical thing because we almost never are together but when we are it is like eating a new amazing candy for the first time. 

4:Talk about the thing you regret most so far.

Being a bitch and not being productive. Also the dumb tattoos I game myself when I was 14. 

5:Talk about the best birthday you’ve had.

19th so far. 

6:Talk about the worst birthday you’ve had.

probably when I turned like 16. 

7:Talk about your biggest insecurity.

My humor, because I find myself hilarious all the time but no one else really seems to. Except my husband and my bestie. They totally get me. 

8:Talk about the thing you are most proud of.

Husband and my dog and my sister. They all pretty iight. 

9:Talk about little things on your body that you like the most.

The freckle on my and and the very faint freckle on my mouth. No one ever notices them and it reminds me that no one can know me better than I know myself. Even if I have no idea who I am. 

10:Talk about the biggest fight you’ve ever had.

My sister swung a pig bat at me and then threatened me with scissors and cooking knives. 

11:Talk about the best dream you’ve ever had.

I was having a bad dream but them I realized i was dreaming do I just quit having the bad dream. 

12:Talk about the worst dream you’ve ever had.

The ones where my stomach drops and wakes me up. 

13:Talk about the first time you had sex/how you imagine your first time.

Backstory: I used to give this guy... lets call him R... bjs a lot ok. So one day i was just walking home and lets call him T comes up to me and is like “i heard you give R bjs” and I was like fuck yeah i do and then we went to T’s house and did it. It was the least romantic thing on the planet. Like I didn’t even associate with T what so ever, I hung out with his brother J but thats it. But afterwards I was getting my shit and about to leave and he goes “did you leave anything?” and I was like nope and he was like “you sure you didnt loose anything?” and I was like nope and he was like “not even your virginity?” and i was like fuck you lmao 

14:Talk about a vacation.

I dont really feel like doing this one 

15:Talk about the time you were most content in life.

Right now. 

16:Talk about the best party you’ve ever been to.

Well it’s not one specific party, but back in 2012 my friend group had this party house, on of their moms was renting it but she got a boyfriend so she never stayed there. amazing summer. 

17:Talk about someone you want to be friends with.

I want to be friends with someone who can completely relate to me. I know there are hundreds of other women going through the same exact thing I am going through, just not in my town or near where I live. 

18:Talk about something that happened in elementary school.

I pooped my pants a little once. Typical story, thought it was a fart... it wasnt. Also once during show and tell I brought a stuffed bird and some little fuck threw up on it. 

19:Talk about something that happened in middle school.

I hit puberty and shaved my eyebrows. 

20:Talk about something that happened in high school.

I did a lot of drugs, got in a terrible relationship, got out of that relationship, found my mellow point and found the love of my life. 

21:Talk about a time you had to turn someone down.

when he just too ugly boo. I would say because im married but literally noone has hit on be since he put a ring on it so fuck ya

22:Talk about your worst fear. 

I dont know what my worst fear is. a lot of things scare me 

23:Talk about a time someone turned you down.

Like that would ever happen psh.

24:Talk about something someone told you that meant a lot.

My husband telling me he loves me. 

25:Talk about an ex-best friend.

Shes a fucking juvenile delinquent but damn did we have fun

26:Talk about things you do when you’re sick.

sleep. complain about being sick.

27:Talk about your favorite part of someone else’s body.

My husbands cheek bones and his sholders.

28:Talk about your fetishes.

penis

29:Talk about what turns you on.

penis

30:Talk about what turns you off.

bad penis

31:Talk about what you think death is like.

i have no idea 

32:Talk about a place you remember from your childhood.

not being sad

33:Talk about what you do when you are sad.

cry and things like this until i get bored

34:Talk about the worst physical pain you’ve endured.

probably anal sex for the first time

35:Talk about things you wish you could stop doing.

smoking. being nervous about things. feeling sad. 

36:Talk about your guilty pleasures.

facebook and playing with my doggo

37:Talk about someone you thought you were in love with.

my ex. fucking asshole 

38:Talk about songs that remind you of certain people.

Ride by TOP - reminds me of one of my besties riding around on back roads hanging out the sunroof 

what does the fox say - reminds me of this annoying chick i used to hang out with. she had a fangirl crush on one of the singers. 

so many songs remind me of my husband so im not even gonna say them all but “Dancing in the Dark” is one of the main ones. we did the dance to it once but we just kinda did it. no music. it was fun, but we havent been able to since because we cant remember how to do it correctly lol 

candle in the wind reminds me of my mom because i asked her what her favorite elton john song was once when i was going through and elton john fase

i love rock n roll - reminds me of my sister, she used to listen to that song all the time. Also funky town. we made up a dance to that one. 

You raise me up - reminds me of my grandpa, it was played at his funeral. 

Roses by the chainsmokers reminds me of one of my old friends 

any hollywood undead song reminds me of a friend i had to quit hanging out with

the list is never fucking ending 

fly to the angels by slaughter reminds me of my uncle. he wants it played at his funeral. at least thats what he told my cousin and i when he was drunk one night when we were like 8

the anthem by dropkick murphys reminds me of my dad because he wants it played at his funeral

also my husband wants ..... i cant remember what its called but its a lincoln park song. he wants that played at his funeral 

39:Talk about things you wish you’d known earlier.

What my life was gonna end up like. 

40:Talk about the end of something in your life.

No. I hate things ending. 

I see what you did there you sly shit.