#i think breaking weakness should stop big attacks

[qualityrain]

my growing dislike for honkysr is that i cant do shit about the Big Nukes and Annoying Bullshit being thrown at me the only options are heal more or do more damage like damn at least give me a guard button. yes i have a skill issue

[writers-potion]

Writing Female Fighters

The Heroine Must. Fight.

Today's female protagonists cannot sit on the side crying and breaking down or whimpering as the battle ensues.

Readers want to see autonomous female fighters who can at least defense themselves with courage and adequate skill.

Not all women are the same, but the heroine should get her butt moving.

Less Muscle, but More Flexibilty

The average woman is shorter than the average man, which makes it more difficult to wield a long sword or slam something down on the opponent's head.

A woman who works out can plausibly be stronger than a male couch potato, but if her male counterpart works out as much as her, the man is going to be much stronger.

On the other hand, the center of gravity in a woman's body is lower than a man's which makes it harder to knock her off her feet.

She is also more flexible, which gives her advantage in grappling fights, making use of complex landscapes, or deflecting blows.

A woman's small size can also be an advantage if her opponent has only ever trained with male opponents. His big hands might not get a good grip on her slender limbs.

In historical fiction, giving your heroine good muscule build can be tricky as exercise was generally considered harmful for women, with some exceptions for horseriding any maybe archery at best.

In such cases, make your heroine an accomplished dancer or an eager horsewoman, or the only girl whose father considered to be son replacement and thus, gave her a boy's education.

Women of lower classes who couldn't afford to be fashionably weak will be plausibly stronger, perhaps even more than an idle gentleman.

More Room for Negotiation, but Prolonged Ruthlessness

In the Suspense part of your fight scene, females are more likely to negotiate and talk more, strategically trying to descalate the situation rather than attacking on a momentary impulse.

Generally, women are less aggressive than men and remain level-headed longer than her male counterparts, opting for non-violent methods first before using force.

Exceptions apply if she is trying to protect her children (or someone who she cares for as a child). Mothers can be tigresses.

A female pre-fight conversation may be: "If you had not done so-and-so and betrayed me with so-and-so, we could have been good friends as I thought we would be." "What do you mean? It was in fact you who brought bad blood between us. I can still hear you laughing with so-and-so, taunting me, purposefully making me look bad -" "But that was so long ago! If you want me to say sorry about something so insignificant, you should have just said so: I'm sorry. There. Satisfied?" "Ha! I can't believe you say that so easily. You still don't get it, do you?" "Who's being petty and unreasonable now?"

A male pre-fight conversation will be shorter: "Who's the coward now?" "You're wrong." "Prove it." "Bastard."

Compared to men, it will take more time for a woman's fight hormones (adrenaline, neurotransmitters and such) to kick in.

She would be slower to engage initially, throwing reluctant punches and thinking, but she'll grow more and more violent and lose all rational thought and compassion, and once she's in full flow, may not stop even when her opponent begs for mercy.

When writing a male-female duo, you can show him going for the first blow while she observes and strategizes first. When he's past his peak and panting, she is flying about left and right. Later when the tension wears off and she becomes wobbly and teary, she can rely on him to have recovered faster and distract other teammates so that they won't see her cry.

Plausible Skills and Backstory

In many cultures and time periods, the general attitude of society towards girls is that they have no place in fist fights or martial arts, unlike how it is encouraged for boys of the same age. So if your heroine has physical prowess that surpasses typical 'fitness' or is hidden, build a backstory of how she's obtained it.

For modern heroines, it can be as simple as signing her up for martial arts classes or yearly membership at the local gym. For historical fiction or girls with strict 'feminine' upbringing, it can be trickier.

It can be related to profession: maybe she was an erotic wrestler, catfighter, or an assasin who thought killing was more honorable than prostitution. They may have dabbles with it for a short time and is now trying to hide their past from their respectable employer or fiance.

It can be family backstory: Perhaps her mother was an accomplished martial artist or she had to fend for younger siblings on the streets from an early age. Maybe she was the only girl in a family of many boys who refused to be the punching bag.

Inexperienced Female Fighters

A woman with no fighting experience or training is likely to resort to one of these on instinct:

Try to talk herself out of the situation, attempting to persuade or negotiate for her life.

Grab something to use as a weapon. This instinct seems to be stronger for women than it is in men.

Use her hands to try and break free, or kick (often wth little success)

Pull hair

Scratch.

In a serious fight, pulling hair and scratching won't be helpful, except when the police come to find her body, they would find the opponent's DNA under her fingernails.

Plausible Weapons and Clothing

All of the above applies to scenes where both parties have no weapons, or has the bare minimum (like one dagger each).

Weapons are equalizers, and if your heroine is pointing a gun at her opponent she will definitely NOT hesitate to be the one to shoot first.

When giving your female character a weapon, choose one she can plausibly use. It would take an unusually brawny woman to wield a great medieval longsword.

For historical fiction, give your heroine something she'll plausibly own. Swords and firearm were a no-go for women, but archery was borderline acceptable.

For clothing starters, you definitely CAN NOT dress her in a tight miniskirt and chainmail bra with long, flowy hair and multiple silver chockers. Unless she's trying to seduce her way into her opponent's bedroom, and he has a chainmail bra fetish.

A practical heroine will have her thighs covered, preferably with leather but at least with fabric, since a lot of blood flows through the thighs and a slash would be critical.

She'll keep her hair tied, tucked under a helmet, braided back, etc. so that it won't impede her vision.

She'll support her breasts with a strong sport bra. In a historical eprioid, she'll either tie her breasts tight with a fabric bandage or support them with some kind of leather corset.

Invent a female version of male fighter clothing of the time you are writing about if it doesn't exist.

If you like my blog, buy me a coffee☕ and find me on instagram! 📸

[pretzel-box]

Hallow! I saw that you write angst for Pressure and I have an angsty request in mind (♥´∀｀)／

Can I request sebby with a reader (doesn't need to be romantic) that's another test subject like him but with the sole purpose of having rapid regeneration (can regenerate their arms or even the lower half of their body) + can't be killed with brute force.

They're relatively weak in terms of strength (like average human strength) compared to the rest of the creatures in the HB + they're clumsy and cowardly which annoys sebastian.

After being brutally 'killed' countless times by anglers, wall dwellers, accidents, or whatnot they ultimately couldn't take it anymore and breaks down with sebastian reluctantly or trying to calm them down.

Ehe that's it for the request!! If you don't accept the request it's totally fine! Either way I hope you have a great day/night (*・∀・*)Ｖ

Tags: Mention of previous deaths, anxiety attacks, comfort, Sebastian is mean, gn!reader

Words: 1,1k

Sebastian prowled the dark hallways of the facility, his senses sharp and alert. The place reeked of damp metal and fear, a maze of endless corridors and hidden dangers. This labyrinth-like part of the building was where they kept them—test subjects like him, twisted by their experiments, forced to endure unimaginable pain and suffering. Most were broken shells of who they once were, but some, like you, were still holding on, trying to survive in this nightmarish existence.

He heard a soft sound behind him—a faint, hurried shuffle of footsteps. He paused, turning his head slightly. There you were, a few paces behind him, your eyes wide and frantic as you glanced around, clearly terrified. He got you during the lockdown, not knowing what made you special till Pandemonium got you badly. Then he figured out your prized ability, turning you into a life bait for him to distract monsters.

Sebastian rolled his eyes. He wasn’t sure if it was your clumsiness or your cowardice that annoyed him more.

“Keep up,” he growled over his shoulder, his voice a low, rumbling hiss that echoed off the cold walls. “And stop making so much noise. You’ll attract them.”

You nodded quickly, trying to step more quietly but stumbling over your own feet. You had always been clumsy, your movements awkward and hesitant. You were nothing like the other test subjects—those grotesque monsters with their freakish strength and horrifying abilities. You were just… normal. Well, except for the fact that you could regenerate almost any injury in a matter of seconds.

Sebastian watched as you tried to steady yourself, a small sigh escaping his lips. You were weak in every way that mattered here—physically frail, easily frightened. But he couldn’t deny that your ability was useful. He had seen you get torn apart by Anglers, crushed by falling debris, even once sliced in half by a ventilation blade. And every time, no matter how gruesome the sudden action was, you came back, good as new, your body knitting itself back together like nothing had happened.

But the downside was that no matter how brutal your death, no matter how agonizing the pain, you would always regenerate. Always come back, only to face it all over again.

“Sebastian, wait,” you whispered, your voice trembling slightly as you glanced around the dark corridor. “I… I don’t think we should go this way. I heard something. Something big.”

“Of course you did,” Sebastian muttered under his breath. He knew you were scared. You were always scared. But in this place, fear was a weakness, and weakness could get you killed. “We don’t have time for this,” he snapped. “Stay close, and keep quiet.”

You swallowed hard, nodding again as you followed him down the hallway, your hands trembling at your sides. Every shadow seemed to stretch and move, every distant sound a threat. You had been killed so many times now, in so many horrific ways, that the fear of dying again was starting to consume you. The pain, the terror—it was becoming too much to bear.

Sebastian could sense your growing panic, could hear your breathing quickening with each step. He clenched his jaw. He didn’t have time to babysit you. But something in him—something he couldn’t quite understand—kept him from abandoning you. Maybe it was pity. Maybe it was something else.

Suddenly, there was a loud crash up ahead, followed by a series of guttural, inhuman growls. You froze, your eyes widening in terror.

“Sebastian…” you whimpered, taking a step back. “Please… I can’t… I can’t do this anymore.”

He turned to you, his expression hard. “You don’t have a choice,” he said bluntly. “None of us do, quit whining. Now keep moving.”

But you didn’t move. You just stood there, your whole body shaking as a certain fear paralyzed you from the very inside. And then, to his surprise, you sank to your knees, your face contorted in anguish.

“I can’t… I can’t keep doing this,” you choked out, tears streaming down your face as you start hyperventilating. “I’ve been… I’ve been killed so many times… I can’t take it anymore. I can’t… I can’t keep coming back, only to die again and again.”

Sebastian stared at you, his mind racing. He wasn’t good at this—at comforting people, at dealing with emotions. But seeing you like this, so broken, so utterly defeated… it stirred something in him. Something he hadn’t felt in a long time.

He knelt down beside you, his movements slow and deliberate, as if he was afraid he might scare you even more. “Hey,” he said quietly, his voice softer than before. “Look at me.”

You didn’t move, didn’t even seem to hear him. You were lost in your own misery, your own despair. He reached out, placing a hand on your shoulder. You flinched at his touch, but you didn’t pull away.

“I know it’s hard,” he said, his tone more gentle now, almost hesitant. “I know it feels like there’s no end to this… but you’re still here. You’re still alive. That means something.”

You looked up at him, your eyes red and puffy from crying. “But what’s the point?” you whispered, your voice barely more than a breath. “What’s the point of surviving if all I do is suffer? If all I do is die over and over again?”

Sebastian felt a pang of guilt at your words. He had been through his own share of torment, had seen things that would haunt him forever. But at least he could fight back. At least he could make them pay for what they did to him. You didn’t have that luxury. You were stuck in this endless cycle of pain and death, with no way to escape it.

He sighed, his hand still resting on your shoulder. “I don’t have the answers,” he admitted, his voice low. “But I do know this… you’re not alone. I’m here. And I’m not going to let anything happen to you. Not if I can help it.”

You stared at him, your expression a mix of confusion and disbelief. “Why?” you asked softly. “Why do you care?”

He hesitated, searching for the right words. “Because… you remind me of something. Something I lost a long time ago.”

You didn’t know what he meant, but there was something in his eyes—a flicker of something raw and vulnerable—that made you believe him. Maybe he did care. Maybe, in this place of darkness and despair, you had found a glimmer of hope.

Sebastian stood up, offering you his hand. “Come on,” he said, his tone firm but kind. “We need to keep moving. But I promise… I won’t let you go through this alone.”

You took his hand, letting him pull you to your feet. You were still scared, still shaken, but for the first time in a long while, you felt a small spark of courage. Maybe you could keep going. Maybe you could survive this, after all.

As you walked beside him, you could feel the fear still gnawing at your insides. But with Sebastian at your side, it didn’t seem quite so overwhelming.

[sxorpiomooon]

what's blocking you from getting what you want - a pac reading

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This reading was so confusing because the first title that I was actually shuffling cards for was "what you need to do in order to get more opportunities" then I shifted to what you need to do in order to open more doors for you to reach where you need to be but this reading feels more to me about what blockages are you facing in order to be where you want to be or get what you want. This reading was VERY confusing to me but I do hope this helps you guys in some way, thankyou<33

Pile 1-

Hell nawww😭😭 you my pile 1 quite literally have to work hard some of you might have a tough saturn or prominent that's the vibe I got the first vision I had was saturn in 1st house anyways the kind of sucess that you pile 1 might need might require you to keep working hard for some time. Unlike other piles I don't see you getting your success instantly or without any hardwork. "Hang on, the process might be steady and slow in coming but it is coming" and this pile also needs to learn to be patient. You are in some toxic cycles that you must break I heard karma for most of you this might be family wise I also think this is mostly past life karma. You guys might also have the tendency to repress your emotions which need to be stopped. I think y'all tend to bottle up your emotions which leads to y'all losing your shit once the bottle is filled. Reppressing doesn't mean that your emotions are gone it just means that they are going to appear again once the change arrives. I think this is the main blockage that you guys are facing i also think this pile needs to be quick in making plans and changes. Do y'all have a broken watch or glass at home? If you do, please change it if you have a stopped watch please put some battery in it it's bringing more delay in your opportunities. Anyways long short story- keep working hard success is a process remember and nurture your emotions. This was also my pile why did they do us so bad man😔

Pile 2-

Ask for help and help others. This is literally it are y'all not taking care of your eyes or are in phone so much the moment I pulled cards my eyes felt weak a bit of water and dizzy? Go to sleep put your phone down too much phone time I had a vision of 9h phone time anyways donate to charity if you guys can I wonder if people on here have scorpio asc in their d10 chart. Donate to charity if you can remember money is not the only thing that you can donate time and efforts also count as contribution. I think this pile might have also faced some financial issues I also heard capricorn. Some of you might take onto your parents role or might be facing some trauma because of your family I heard legacy so probably generational trauma. Come to terms with it y'all might have some sort of financial family trauma. Some harsh words might have been said to you that are too deep rooted in your heart still. Pile 2 you are more stronger than you think, you have far more strength than you can comprehend. Let it go.

Pile 3-

you guys might have big egos rightfully so because I see that you might have ALOT of enemies some of them might be obvious the others not so much. I see people being ready to attack you 24/7 I do understand you guys and I do believe that you should give your 100% to whatever you want but the advice that I'm getting here is that you can choose to give up if the only thing that's in line is your ego. For the other people that choose this pile y'all might be getting bullied by someone or might be too scared to be judged? Alot of different kinds of people are choosing this pile you guys might have a good Pluto position perhaps even Pluto conjuct moon in your 10h or 1h? Face your true honest self be courageous and honest to yourself these both things are necessary for you to do in order to receive your awakening. You are successful and have alot of enemies however I do think that you can benefit from them alot by actually learning something from their perspective. You might be able to gain another win by doing so. Alot of fight, struggle energy from this pile.

Pile 4-

walk away and stop being delusional. You are very well aware of what you need to walk away from I heard "it's time to go" leave whatever is not serving you it's time. Go leave and never look back. Only when you remove things from your life you receive the space to add on new things. You can't let all the junk fill up in your life and then continue to complain about how you are not receiving anything new or better. Make space and be courageous. You have a very nice energy if you guys already are not aware it. Alot of people might like you very easily I think this pile might have a energy that easily hypes up other people, makes them feel at ease and brings joy this can actually help you in gaining other people's favour more. Compliment people more on their work it's very easy for you to win other people's favour. People will help you in reaching where you need to read my pile 4

[aayakashii]

Okay I finished the episode and I have um. Thoughts. Warning I am angry and confused. And sad too wtf zzg

First off? Fuck Moby. I hate that guy. Oh my god. He treats the ghouls like they're trash as if he isn't a GOONER that only thinks abt an idol group.

Yes, I'm way more pissed off than I should be. Yes, it's because of the ending that absolutely wrecked me. But he's still behind it all. All for what?? Some tickets to see your idols? Fuck you Moby 🖕 I hope all your idols start dating.

Second. I'm having extremely conflicting thoughts about Ed. I like him as a character. He's unique and funny, but I don't understand him. What the fuck do you want, my guy. What was that whole thing in the balcony? Why do you want to turn mc? Is it for funsies? Are you bored? Do you even LIKE her? Because like. When he came to "protect" her, he said, "Those two would be so sad if you died," so he's not including himself. I'm so confused.

Also?????? Using his mind manipulation was SO out of pocket!! Trying to force her to accept getting turn into a vampire?? WHAT DO YOU GET FROM THAT!!

Then that whole speech while MC is being strangled by the anomaly. My guy I am literally dying here 🧍🏻‍♀️ can we leave the degradation kink for later. Maybe tell the spirit that they're weak AFTER you stopped it from killing me how about that

And I said that to Mel but like if he just fucking ACTED none of that mess would have happened. Lyca wouldn't need to attack and no one would come and see that mess. HE WOULDNT HAVE TO GO THROUGH THAT

SPEAKING OF IT ????????????????? HELLO ZZG? I WILL BREAK YOUR LEGS

WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO HIM. THE FIRST HUMAN (BESIDES MC) THAT HE ACTUALLY TRUSTED BETRAYING HIM LIKE THAT WITH THE WEAPON HE GAVE TO HIM?

BRO.

Zzg is sadistic. Like. Hello. No words. Even Rui was traumatized. Can we maybe let Obscuary live a little happier!!! Except Ed because apparently he needs to be put in his place

And him with Towa. It's so funny that we got so much info abt Jabberwock lore in this episode because ❓️ Oh so the fields will die if TOWA isn't there???

Meanwhile Haru is there just to keep some people alive?? Probably inhuman people, btw since he was so shaken when Hyde mentioned mermaids in the 7th episode. Anyway. So he's slaving away everyday, giving his blood sweat and tears, but the core of that place is Towa? Is that it? Idk I'm not good with theories and also idc.

BIG SIGH. Now I get why people were so conflicted by this episode. I finished it heartbroken and with more questions than before. Ed you're on thin ice. But also can you please stop trying so hard to be mysterious and just spill the information for once thank you

[mrsshabana]

Hiiii! I’m new here, go by El online. Can I give you a prompt/ask?

Can you please do a fic with fem reader x Gyutaro, where she met him in the entertainment district and instead of being scared when he attacked someone who was harassing her, she took his hand and told him not to hurt himself anymore? She used to struggle with self-hatred too, so she knows where he’s coming from—and when they start making out, she admits she doesn’t feel safe being bottom…and Gyutaro ends up subbing for her and liking it?

Thanks!

♥CW: 18+ content, MDNI, smut, creampie, sub!Gyutaro, dom!Reader, mentions of self harm

♥AN: Thank you so much for the request! Sorry it took me awhile to get to it, but I hope you like it! I don't get to write for canon Gyutaro much, so this was very fun! (*^▽^*)

♥WC: 1,503

It all happened so fast. Only a moment ago, you were being pushed against the brick wall of a dark alleyway. A drunk man restraining your wrists with one hand as his other goes to tear open your kimono.

But almost as soon as it had began, it was ended in a flash of blood. The man fell to the ground, blood pooling everywhere. And a strange figure stood before you.

The moment your gaze connects with his, it is clear to you that he is no human. But even so, he did just save you.

"Th-thank you," you stutter. Struggling to maintain eye contact with the terrifying demon.

He looks taken aback by the fact that you have thanked him. "Uh... you're welcome." He mumbles.

You end up introducing yourself to him, and he introduces himself in return, as Gyutaro.

Gyutaro is shocked that you are being so kind to him. Yeah he just saved you, but every time he has helped a human out he never received such kind words in return.

Seeing a woman being taken advantage of angers Gyutaro more than it should. He strictly believes that the women in the district deserve to be paid for their services, and should never be forced to perform sexual acts against their will.

There's a pause of awkward silence. Gyutaro begins to get nervous, the way that you look up at him with your big, innocent, doe eyes makes his knees weak. You are so pretty, yet you aren't running away?

Without noticing it, he begins to scratch his neck. His nails dig deep under his skin, creating wounds that heal seconds later.

"Hey!" you shout, reaching out and grabbing his hand, "Don't hurt yourself."

Gyutaro's eyes go wide and he snatches his hand away from your grasp, "Why do you care? It's none of your business anyways!"

"I used to hurt myself too," you sigh, "I know it is hard to stop. But you seem like a very nice man, there is no need to hurt yourself."

"A-a nice man?" he mumbles, shocked, "No... I'm just an ugly demon. Can't you see?"

"Yes, I can see you perfectly well," against your better judgment you take a step forward. Closing the gap between you and the dangerous demon. Bringing your hands up to cup his cheeks, "You aren't ugly at all. Don't be so hard on yourself..."

Gyutaro is left speechless. Never had a human had the confidence to do something so bold. Do you have no regard for your own life? Or are you just that grateful?

You don't know what it is, but something about this demon intrigues you. Sparks something within you that no one before ever has. You have delt with self hatred in the past, and seeing this man-eating demon struggle with the same thing breaks your heart. All you want to do is comfort him... get closer to him... love him. With a smile, you lean forward and kiss his lips.

Your lips are soft and warm against his. His heart pounds away in his chest, and all logical thought goes out the window. He doesn't know why, but all he can think about is how badly he doesn't want this to end. How badly he wants to soak in your affection, the affection that he has been denied for his entire life. Now is his chance to finally have it.

After the initial shock wears off, Gyutaro closes his eyes and returns the kiss. Hesitantly following your lead, gently holding onto your waist and pulling you closer. When you gently glide your tongue along his lips, he slightly parts his lips to give you access. Relaxing as your tongues dance in the passionate kiss.

It doesn't take long for Gyutaro to get riled up. Pressing his hips against you, his hard-on evidently felt through his pants.

"C-can we go somewhere more private?" you whimper, looking up at him with a flustered expression.

He nods, "Course..."

Carefully picking you up, Gyutaro takes you to an upstairs room in the Kyogoku house. It's dark and a bit dusty, but not too dirty. There is a large futon on the floor that looks rarely used.

Gyutaro lays you down on your back, before climbing on top of you. Grabbing your leg and wrapping it around his waist, he goes in to continue the kiss. But you stop him.

"Um, Gyutaro... I'm not too comfortable being on the bottom. Would you mind if we maybe switched places?"

Gyutaro furrows his brows in confusion. To be completely honest, he doesn't have much sexual knowledge so this is quite peculiar to him. Every time he's seen human have sex, it was with the man on top. But he likes you a lot, and wants to make sure you are comfortable. It isn't everyday he gets an opportunity like this.

"Ok, sure," he nods. Promptly laying on his back, giving you room to straddle him.

"Thanks," you whisper before guiding him back into the kiss. Moving your hips back and forth, grinding against him. Resulting in him moaning desperately into the kiss.

Something about Gyutaro is bringing out all of your carnal desires. Never have you felt the need to go so far with someone that you barely know. Maybe it has to do with the fact that he is a dangerous demon? Or maybe it has to do with how he saved you earlier?

Either way, all you know is that you need him now. Wasting no time, you remove your kimono and slide off your panties. Exposing your bare body to the gaze of the demon below you.

Watching as he shamelessly stares at you, his grip on your thighs tightening.

"Are you ready, Gyutaro?" you ask while tugging at the hem of his pants.

"Y-yeah," he pants, moving his hips up so you can pull his pants down. Which you promptly do, releasing his throbbing cock.

The same spots that decorate his body appear on his shaft too. Giving it a unique appearance. One that Gyutaro is ashamed of, but one that you find quite attractive. Not only that, but it is also larger than you had expected. Making you glad that you are on top. You can't imagine how much it'd hurt if he just drove into you with that thing. He is a demon after all, so who knows how much he'd care for your comfort.

Grabbing his base, you glide his tip along your slick folds. Coating him enough so he can slide in with more ease.

But it isn't easy. When you start to lower down on him, it hurts, the stretch is more painful that you had anticipated.

So, you take it slow. Lowering yourself inch by inch until you manage to fully fit him inside. At this point, Gyutaro is a moaning mess. His eyes are squeezed shut, head tilted back, and he has a firm grip on your ass.

He almost loses it when you start bouncing on top of him. Moaning loudly with each move of your hips.

You can't help but admire the sharpness of his teeth every time he parts his lips. This demon seems very dangerous and has probably killed and eaten hundreds, if not thousands, of people. Yet here he is, completely helpless beneath you.

That thought causes you to grow even wetter, and fuck him even harder.

"You like that Gyutaro? Do you feel good?" you coo, leaning forward to cup his cheek.

"Ngh, y-yeah... ah, fuck... feels-feels really g-good," he whines in between moans.

It takes every ounce of his strength to not immediately cum, but it's getting impossible for him. You're just so warm, so tight, and showing him so much affection. He can't help himself.

Holding onto you firmly, Gyutaro thrusts up to meet your hips. Ramming his sharp hip bones into your soft flesh. After a few thrusts he's arching his back and cumming inside of you. His chest heaves as high-pitched moans escape his lips.

But you don't stop. Even though he may have finished, you have not. So you continue riding him. Gyutaro bites his lip, trying to muffle his moans as you overstimulate him. He doesn't want to disappoint you. He wants to make you cum too, so he stays still for you.

It doesn't take long before your orgasm hits you. Gyutaro holds onto you tightly as you tremble above him, moaning his name. He absolutely loves it.

Not bothering to remove his cock from inside of you, you lay on his chest. The both of you panting, recovering from your orgasms.

You don't know what to expect, and you are afraid to ask. What if he decides to eat you? He's had his fun, so nothing is stopping him.

But instead, Gyutaro wraps his arms around you and nuzzles into your hair.

"Y'know... I normally don't get friendly with humans," he takes a deep breath and sighs, "But I guess I wouldn't mind seeing you again."

[rogersideup]

｡°✩ ♊︎ The Gemini ♊︎ ✩ °｡

Chapter 3

Expendable

Series Masterlist

Previous part: wine and dine next part: pink peonies

Word Count 5,333

Warnings: My blog is 18+ only. All minors or blogs without an age in bio will be blocked. Minors DNI. Mentions and descriptions of sexual acts.

Standing in front of a human shaped dummy in the private training room, Steve was showing you all the best ways to direct an attack to assure your opponent goes down, and stays down.

After your mission and injury, Steve was out for a few days on a business trip the same day that you were medically cleared to get back to work. So, it had been a while since the last time you trained together.

You both decided it was a good idea to just take it easy and review what you already know as a means of studying for your final evaluation coming up.

Every agent had to take a final evaluation upon completing every single training course shield had to offer. It was a big deal, and though nobody had any doubts that you were ready for it, it could never hurt to review and improve.

"Knock knock, bitches." Bucky announced, causing both of you to stop.

"Hey, Bucky boy" You greeted him.

"What's going on, Buck?" Steve questioned.

"I dunno, I'm bored." He shrugged. "Can I just sit and watch?"

"Don't you have work to do?" You asked with a giggle.

"I finished!" He defended himself. "You two get to spend so much time without me, it's only fair I get to insert myself here whenever I want to."

"You act like this is personal and not us doing our jobs" Steve raised an eyebrow at him.

"That's a technicality I'm choosing to ignore." Bucky sat on the ground with his back against the wall.

Steve looked at you to make sure it was okay that he sat and watched, but he caught something he wished he hadn't. Just for a split second, you narrowed your eyes at Bucky, and he gave you a very subtle nod back.

He realized that it very well could've been nothing, but it definitely seemed like it was something.

Though Steve didn't bring it up at all, he made mental note of it. He was confident in his deep knowledge of both of his friend's behavior, and he was choosing to trust his gut on that observation.

The rest of your time together, Bucky sat and watched quietly, only occasionally responding to conversations that would break out that weren't work related. Towards the end, Steve wanted to confirm some scheduling, so he cut the physical work a few minutes early.

He sat on the bench with you as you pulled a sweatshirt over your head, and your everyday sneakers onto your feet.

"Okay, so, your final evaluation is one week from today." Steve noted. "So this week will be really simple, we can keep doing this, just reviewing what we've already been over. But our training together is still supposed to run until the end of the month so we have three extra weeks together."

"What am I supposed to do when this ends?! I'll be so bored without you!" You exclaimed.

Steve chuckled. "You should be happy that you survived my course!"

"I mean I am, but then what?"

"Maybe another Avenger will take you under their wing." Steve shrugged.

"I can only think of one Avenger with wings" you noted.

"What do you want to cover in the three weeks together after your evaluation?" He asked.

Your lips formed into a pout. "I know what it should be, but I don't wanna do it"

"Restraints?" Steve questioned sympathetically.

"Restraints... I guess." You grumbled.

Every fighter had a weak spot. Just one thing that made their stomachs turn and their hearts race, something that really scared them regardless of mental work or preparation. Some people couldn't handle heights, didn't do very well when they saw blood, and really freaked out over handling certain weapons.

You just happened to be terrified of being restrained, which unfortunately was a very plausible situation to find yourself in as an agent. There was no reason why you were terrified of it, nothing happened in your life to make you fear it as much as you did. But the thought of having your hands or legs tied made you feel claustrophobic in a way you couldn't even describe using words.

"It'll be scary at first, but we'll work on it" Steve reassured. "Wouldn't you rather learn how to get out of any sort of restraint with someone you trust then find yourself in a situation where you're tied up at the hands of an enemy with no way out?"

"Logically yes, but in reality I would like neither of those things to happen." You responded with a twinge of sarcasm.

Steve laughed, "okay well, I wouldn't like that to happen to you either! But once you learn how to escape from a bunch of different scenarios, you won't be scared of it anymore. Knowledge is power!"

"I know you didn't just knowledge is power me, you loser!" You joked with a snort.

"Oh I certainly did, and I'll do it again." He stated with a smile. "Confidently!"

"Okay, I guess I trust you enough to teach me." You committed to the endeavor.

"Good job, pushing yourself is how you grow better as a fighter." Steve praised your bravery. "We'll start with the easiest and work our way up to the hardest, then you'll be such a pro at it that nothing could ever hold you back."

"Yeah, yeah." You playfully rolled your eyes.

"Then after our training together is officially over, I'm going to block off my schedule these same two hours every day to just cry." Steve put a hand over his heart.

"Can you do that to my schedule too? Maybe we can cry together?"

"I'll see what I can do." Steve agreed, before opening his arms up for a hug. You happily hugged him back. "Good job today! You're going to do great on your assessment no matter who is assigned to asses you. We all know it."

"Thanks for teaching me!" You smiled. "In all seriousness, I've really enjoyed getting to learn from you. Thanks for all the time you've put onto me."

"Anytime, Bug. I've been enjoying it just as much." Then Steve turned to include Bucky in their conversation. "What are you guys up to for the rest of the day?"

"Nothing, well, I think that's pretty obvious considering I'm just sitting here" Bucky shrugged. "Do you guys want to hang out? Maybe we can walk to that cool park a few blocks from here? Watch the sunset and get some fresh air?"

"That sounds good to me." Steve agreed. "Buggy, you in?"

Both boys watched as you stood up and slipped your gym back onto your shoulder. "As fun as that sounds, I can't. You know Agent 563? We made plans to have an early dinner together so I have to get ready to leave here soon."

"Booooo, buzz kill!" Bucky announced dramatically.

"That doesn't mean you can't go on a cute little sunset date with your boyfriend without me, Bucky." You smiled at him. "By all means, you boys have fun."

"I think that's great." Steve told you, ignoring the boyfriend comment. "563 is a great agent, and I think it's important that you girls stick together.

"Lord knows we need some time away from the amount of testosterone in this place." You agreed.

“Even me?" Bucky pouted.

"Even you." You smiled at him, approaching him for a hug that you had to bend over pretty far to get. "And Steve. I love you both, but I need to interact with other people than just you two!"

"Hey! I only talk to you and Steve and I'm doing just fine" Bucky defended himself.

"What about Natasha?" Steve wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at him.

"Don't bring up Natas-" Bucky started passionately

"I'm leaving!" You announced before an argument broke out. "Love you boys! Have fun on your date! I hope you hold hands and kiss each other's foreheads!"

Steve and Bucky stared at each other as you walked out of the room. The door closed behind you, and your foot steps faded until completely inaudible to either of their heightened ears.

"Why are you actually here, Buck?" Steve asked.

"You're in love with her." He claimed deadpan.

Steve's heart sank, but controlled himself the best he could as to not bluff. "Why would you say that?"

"I figured it out last night." Bucky admitted. "I was trying to sleep but my brain wouldn't turn off. I was thinking about the dynamic of our little friend group and it hit me like a train. I had to come confirm it with my own eyes."

Steve puffed out a performative chuckle and put his hands on his hips. "You understand how crazy that sounds, right?"

"Is it though?" Bucky raised an eyebrow while standing up from his spot on the floor. "I never noticed it until today. Your eyes physically twinkle when you look at her. Your cheeks have been pink since I got here, and you never stopped smiling until she left the room. Encouraging, sweet, considerate..."

"It's my job to be encouraging towards her, Buck. I'm her boss." Steve huffed, feeling annoyed and attacked by this conversation.

"Why won't you admit it?" He asked.

Steve stopped in place and noted Bucky's furrowed brows. "Wait, why do you seem so upset about this?"

"I'm not upset." Bucky denied, shaking his head. "But if you're actually pining after her, Punk..."

"What?" Steve's heart was pounding.

"Do you like her?" Bucky asked one more time, his tone was nothing but serious. His face was stone cold.

"I'm her boss." Steve slumped. "There's a power imbalance, I can't break her trust."

"And if she joins the Avengers?" His head tilted.

"She just got out of a relationship."

"It's already been a month since then." Bucky insisted. "Steve, this is between me, you, and the grave. I'm serious."

Steve threw his head back with a groan. It had been a while since he had seen Bucky this worked up about anything, so he knew it was important. But getting the admission to slip past his tongue felt morally wrong and partially impossible.

"Steve."

"Yes." He said simply, staring up at the ceiling.

"How long?"

"How long what?" Steve sighed.

"How long have you had feelings for her?"

"Since the day I met her..." Steve mumbled.

"Oh my-"Bucky rubbed his face with his hand before running his hand through his hair. "You hid it too well."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Steve froze up as his mind ran laps around Bucky's behavior. He already knew what was coming before he could admit to it.

"You're going to hate us, but I need to tell you something..." Bucky said apologetically.

Meanwhile, you were having a fantastic time with Agent 563, Clara. Though the two of you were friendly around the compound, you never had the chance to actually sit and have a long conversation with her before. Both of you getting the chance to vent about the workplace environment and culture to someone who actually understood what it was like to experience it in the unique way you did was refreshing to say the least.

After dinner neither of you were ready to end the conversation there, so you grabbed ice cream on the way back, and walked the whole way home together. At a certain point, work was a topic long forgotten as you two bonded over other similar interests like movies, hobbies, family, you two even shared the same love for video games.

By the time you made it back to your apartment, there was a smile on your face and a lightness to your heart you hadn't felt in a while. It was obvious that work was making you feel heavy and alone for a while, but you didn't realize how bad it actually was until you got away from it.

That smile was wiped off your face when you opened the door to Steve sitting on your couch with a stiffness in his body and an anger on his face you had never seen before.

"Hey, are you alright?" You immediately asked as his head snapped over to you the second the door opened.

Alarm bells were instantly ringing. Your heart dropped into your stomach, and raced with a speed you didn't quite know was possible.

You had given Steve and Bucky a key to your place just like you had keys to theirs, but the three of you typically hung out at Steve's place. Either of them coming to your apartment was a rare occurrence, and them ever using your key was even more rare.

Steve watched you kick off your shoes and hang up your purse, he felt so many emotions all at once that he couldn't even begin to get the words out.

You hesitantly approached, he still didn't answer. "What's wrong?"

"Why didn't you tell me?" Steve questioned. His tone very obviously gave away his state of emotion, it only made you feel more anxious.

You had a suspicion what this was about, but number one rule as an agent was to never incriminate yourself. "Tell you what?"

"Don't do that with me." Steve denied. "Bucky already told me. I don't understand why you guys would do that and keep it from me."

Your posture slumped knowing that this reaction was exactly why you and Bucky decided to keep a dirty little secret from Steve. So you sat down on an armchair next to the couch he sat on so you could explain.

But, he didn't even give you a chance to defend yourself before he spoke again. "Did either of you even consider how hooking up with each other would affect me?"

"Hey now, let's get some facts straight." You didn't let him go any further. "I feel like the term hooking up is giving what we did way more credit than what it was worth, and yes, we did consider you, which is why we both agreed we weren't going to tell you."

"Great, thank you so much for the consideration. That makes me feel really secure in my friendships with both of you!" Steve said sarcastically, feeling betrayed and admittedly heartbroken beyond words.

"Wait" You shook your head. "I know that sounds bad, but you have to understand that we all have different morals and personal opinions when it comes to sex and we knew you wouldn't understand."

"What is there to not understand?" He questioned. "You two had sex with no regard to how it would effect our friendships with each other."

"First of all, it wasn't sex, there was no penetration." You corrected. "Second of all, we didn't think it would effect our friendships because that's all we are to each other."

"I don't care about the details or what actually went down between you. Had either of you told me you liked each other from the get go it wouldn't have been a problem. I would've been happy for you two." He grumbled.

"We don't like each other." You denied. "We were just at the right place at the right time, things moved fast, and that's that. There's no romance happening, nothing to make social group weird. We all know Bucky likes Natasha."

"Well it's weird now." Steve glared at you.

"What do you want me to do now? It already happened, I can't go back and change it." You noted. "Want me to suck your dick too and call it even?"

"This isn't funny and I really don't appreciate that comment." He scoffed.

"It wasn't weird for you until Bucky opened his mouth, huh?" You asked him. "Was it weird for you two weeks ago when it actually happened?"

"I don't care." He swallowed thickly.

Feeling quite taken back by his behavior, and a little more that a little annoyed that Bucky spilled the beans, your attitude came out. "I'm a grown woman capable of making grown choices, and I don't owe you an explanation of what I choose to do with my body, Steve."

"No, you don't." He agreed, but you made him snap. "But I'm feeling betrayed and disrespected by the two of you, and that, I do feel like I'm owed an explanation for."

"Are you mad at Bucky too?" You snapped right back. "Huh? Did you yell at him?"

"He told me the truth." Steve rationalized.

"Yeah, well I never lied to you." You pointed out. "And why did Bucky feel the need to tell you what we did privately? Huh? Do you feel like I'm allowed to feel betrayed and disrespected for him going against our word?"

"I'm not here to tell you how to feel. I'm here to try and rationalize any of the choices we're making right now." He raised his voice. "My friends are the only family I have, and I refuse to lose a friend I've already lost many times before over a stupid choice."

Just with that one sentence, he broke your heart. "And that right there, is exactly why I thought it was okay in the first place." You growled as all of your self defenses came rushing in to protect you from the words you always knew to be true but never wanted to admit.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm expendable to you and Bucky. I always have been." You stood up from your spot next to him. "You say you're upset because you didn't want to ruin the dynamic of the friend group but guess what? The dynamic has always been you and Bucky hanging out and me just kind've being there. You'll always choose each other, and everyone will always choose someone else over me."

"That's not true." Steve denied. Although he was seeing red with anger, your words made him sad for you.

"I'm never anyone's first choice, Steve. You'll always choose Bucky, Bucky will always choose you. My sister will choose her husband, Harvey will always choose literally anything but me. Nobody else here is willing to be my friend because it's like social suicide, and I had to completely isolate myself from my normal civilian friends for this job." You explained. "I'm the best agent so I get used and abused and harassed out of the pack, but if I become an avenger I'll be singled out as the worst one. You and Bucky claimed you'd always have my back but now I know that's not true."

"Stop saying that." Steve shook his head.

"Nobody wants me." You spat, Steve could tell you believed that to be true.

It shattered his already broken heart, because if you had even the slightest clue of how bad he wanted you, you'd never say those words again. But he couldn't tell you, it simply wasn't an option.

"Nobody wants me ever but that night, Bucky wanted me. So forgive me for latching onto any ounce of human connection I can get these days. That choice was never about you, and I'm sorry that it hurt your feelings but I'm struggling more than I ever have and right now I need to put me first."

"Bucky and I have always loved having you around."

"That might be true, but you proved my point with your own mouth." A single tear fell down your cheek, but you wiped it away just as fast as it fell. "You said you weren't willing to lose Bucky. But right now it feels like you're willing to lose me."

"Don't be mad at him." Steve shook his head.

"He had no right telling you that without consulting me first." You denied. "Unless he broke some kind of code or something there was no rea-" Your own words made reality wash over you like an angry ocean wave trying to swallow you whole. "Oh my god."

"No-" Steve shook his head.

"He broke bro code, didn't he?" You asked Steve, feeling suddenly nauseous.

Steve felt nauseous too. His brain couldn't think of anything but the truth at the moment, but he was horrified. Though he tried to formulate the correct response, nothing felt right at the moment. "You slept in my bed."

"Oh my god." You took a slow step back, unable to process what information you were just receiving. He watched as your face turned just as red as his. "You like me?"

A billion different things came to mind. So many scenarios, so many possibilities, every single time you suppressed your own feelings for Steve because you never thought a man like him could ever love you. It was wrong. Yet all this time, he was harboring a secret of his own. And even then it was still wrong.

"You slept in my bed while you had a boyfriend." Steve spoke so firmly you swore you could feel the bass vibrating the floor.

"This whole time you we're hoping I'd jump right into your arms after breaking things off with Harvey?"

Steve knew where this was going, and the look on your face was just as horrified as he felt. Your lip was wobbling, your hands were shaking, and with every statement you took a step back. "No. But I did think that there was enough happening between us that you wouldn't go for Bucky."

"I slept in your bed because I trusted you, you asshole." You cried, pointing a finger at him. "I slept in your bed while staying with Harvey because he was the only man crazy enough to actually love me and I didn't ever think anyone would be crazy enough to love me ever again."

Steve opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. His jaw hung open for a moment, before it closed, then opened again. "Well then I guess you were wrong."

"I was wrong." You agreed, wiping your face once more as you watched his eyes tear up. "I trusted you to keep me safe in training, protect me against the people who are harassing me. I trusted you as a friend, a confidant. I even trusted you enough to see me naked, but I was wrong."

"This is exactly why I didn't tell you." Steve mumbled. "Because you trusted me and I didn't want to break it. Bucky didn't know."

"So let me get this straight. You had a secret that you kept from both of us, but Bucky's actions are excusable because he didn't know. My actions are inexcusable but I also didn't know, and we did the exact same thing together?" You asked. "You spend a lot of time talking shit about men's double standards around the compound for someone who turned around and is treating me the exact same way."

"I'm trying to talks through this so we can all go back to being friends."

"You we're never my friend." Your words cut through his heart like a knife. "You we're someone being nice to me in hopes of getting in my pants one day."

"No, that's not true." Steve pleaded, blinking back tears. "Our friendship means a lot to me. That's why I'm this upset in the first place."

"I don't think I can ever go back to being just friends with your or Bucky ever again." You cried. "All of you guys here are the same, I can't do this anymore."

Steve watched you clutch your stomach, as you spun on your heels and walked straight for the door. Little did he know, you felt so nauseous you were trying your hardest not to throw up.

"So that's it?" Steve asked, standing up from the couch. "You're going to throw away everything the three of us have built together as friends because we can't have a rational conversation?"

"A rational conversation? You can't even admit that you're only mad at me because you wanted to get into my pants and now you feel like you can't because Bucky got me first." You turned around to look at him. "That's all I am to anyone. That's the only relationships I've been able to form since I've gotten in this compound. You, Bucky, Harvey. I'm not a human to you guys, I might as well just be a glory hole."

"You're misunderstanding me." Steve shook his head, eyebrows raising upward like a sad puppy.

"That makes two of us." You turned back around and grabbed your packed duffel near the door that you always kept for emergencies.

"I care about you, you know that right?"

"It sure doesn't feel like it right now." You denied his claim.

"Where are you going?" Steve asked. "This is your house."

"The compound has never felt like home to me." The door swung open. You didn't even look back at him before stepping through the doorway. "Don't worry about where I'm going, just say the fuck away from me."

And just like that, the door slammed behind you and rattled the ground. You set off like a storm on the other side, and Steve was left on his own to crumble. Only when he was sure you were gone for good did he let tears fall down his face.

Trying your absolute hardest to hold it together you rushed through the compound hallways, desperately trying to avoid seeing anyone you knew before you made it to your car.

You didn't have it in you to have a face to face conversation with Bucky at the moment, but you did feel like you needed to tell him that the friendship was over, so you called him instead.

"Hey, bug." He answered sympathetically.

"Why did you tell him?" You cried.

"I had to." There was a deep sigh from the phone line. "What did he tell you?"

"Why the fuck are you protecting him?" You asked. It was admittedly a little harsh, but Steve had already amped you up.

"So he told you everything." Bucky stated. "I figured out he was in love with you last night. I couldn't in good conscience keep our secret anymore. He needed to know because the longer we kept it from him the worse this would've been."

"He doesn't love me, Bucky." You denied. "What he did wasn't love. It was control, and it was power, but it's not love."

"I can tell you're upset with him, but I don't think that was his intention." Bucky calmly denied. "Give it a few days to settle, alright? You can be mad at us all you want and I understand why, but emotions are high right now and it seems like both you and Steve are villianizing each other."

"I'm going to be gone for the weekend." You stated, needing to set firm boundaries. "I love you, but you hurt me and I need to get away."

"I'm sorry, bug. I really am." He apologized.

"You, Harvey, and Steve will all be blocked from reaching me unless it's during work hours. And as of now, I can't be a friend of yours."

"I understand" Bucky accepted the repercussions of his actions, though he was sad about it. "I hope you know we care a lot about you. I'm sorry this is all happening this way, but I still want you to be safe. Will you let someone know where you're going? Maybe Commander Bennett?"

"Yeah, I will." You agreed, feeling relieved that at least Bucky was being rational. "I hope in a little while we can figure this out between you and I, but it's going to take some time."

"I hope so too." He agreed. "Stay safe, and be smart. I'm here for you whenever you're ready."

You hung up, drove off, and the second the compound was in your rear view mirror it felt like the weight of the world was off your shoulders.

The weekend came and went simultaneously way too fast, yet painfully slow at the same time. You stayed with your sister who welcomed you with widely opened arms, and really took the time to listen to you when you spoke. She let you get it all out, she wiped your tears, then by morning you'd put on a brave face for Luca.

Spending a lot of quality time with him was truly the only reason you hadn't fully lost your mind. By Monday you felt well enough to face the shit show that was work, but it didn't last very long.

You had made it a whopping 4 hours into the work week before getting sent to Steve's office with an ice pack pressed to your cheek and Commander Bennett opening the door for you.

Steve looked up as the two of you entered, but your eyes were glued to the floor. You didn't need to look around to see where the chair was. You already knew.

He hoped that Bennett couldn't feel the thick tension that filled the room, but it was unusual for him to follow you to his office, and he did take note of how bad you looked.

Well, unfortunately for him he always thought you were stupidly beautiful, but your eyes were swollen. You looked exhausted, drained, and nothing like your usual fiery self.

"We need to do something about 212." Commander Bennett cut straight to the chase. "We can't keep cutting into her work time and having her get hurt because 212 and all his awful friends are picking on her."

"What happened?" Steve asked, trying to see what was under the ice pack.

"I saw them trip her with my own eyes. I don't know if they thought I wasn't watching, or if they thought they were being sly enough that I wouldn't notice, but this cannot continue." He stood firm. "Poor thing smacked her face against the floor, but she still is claiming that reprimanding them will make it worse. So what's the solution?"

Steve sighed and leaned back in his chair. "Do you have any ideas, Commander?"

"Give them one more strike. Let them all know that if they pull this again one more time before evaluation we will disqualify them from taking the test." He suggested. "That includes physical, and verbal attacks."

"That's a really good idea, thank you." Steve agreed. "I'll talk to them today."

"Are you comfortable with that, 306?" Bennett asked you.

"Yes, sir." Your voice was hoarse.

"I'm going to give her the option of cutting her work day short or continuing her training, but no matter what we all know she doesn't need more training." He noted. "I'll leave her with you so you guys can figure out your schedules."

"Thank you." Steve said politely.

Bennett left and the door clicked shut behind him, but your eyes stayed glued to the floor. Your options were go to your apartment and sleep the rest of the miserable daylight away, or spend two hours alone in a room with Steve.

You both already knew what the choice was going to be. There was no need to discuss the schedule change.

Steve knew you hated his guts right now, and he was still feeling hurt by you, but it took a few moments for it to dawn on him that he still needed to be a boss and a leader regardless. So he put his best foot forward.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

There was barely any compassion in his voice, he might as well have been a robot, so you didn't bother responding. You didn't even bother looking at him.

"Would you like to talk about the incident?" He pushed.

"No, Captain." You responded, coming to the same awareness that he was still your boss.

Your use of his title and refusal to look at him felt like a shot to the heart. "Would you like to be relieved of duties until tomorrow?"

"Yes, Captain."

"You are dismissed."

Just like the last time he saw you, you walked out on him without as much as a glance back knowing the next time you'd be forced to see him would be evaluation day.

Next Part: pink peonies

Ooooohhhh we have some ANGST! Who’s right? Who’s wrong? I want to hear ALL your opinions! Sound off in my inbox! Team Bug, Steve, or Bucky? Let me know!

Tag list: @saranghaey @firephotogrl74 @selella @talesofadragon @ss28 @nekoannie-chan @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory @spikeluv84 @crazyunsexycool @callmissrogers @xxxalicerogersxx @whore-for-chris-evans @em8rin @mulbsstuff @qalijahbydior @awkotaco24 @buckybarnessimpp @nicoline1998enilocin @buckysteve @rogersbarber @mybuck @dbnightingale24 @ynstark

Tag list is still open! Lmk if you want to be added 🌟

[webslingingslasher]

How about “desperately wanting to be angry, but they can't push past the hurt they're feeling with the trust being broken” from the prompt list? An angsty one with a really fluffy ending? <3

it's a little angsty, little fluffy *reader thinks peter's cheating

It always started with a ‘hey girlie,’ text. 

Any girl in a relationship knew what that meant. 

You thought Peter was a safe bet, there was no way Peter would ever cheat on you, right? 

Two words sent you into panic, your heart was beating a million miles a minute, your vision felt dotty and the urge to throw up, cry and scream was running rampant, even if you were to have a mental breakdown you didn’t know where to start. 

Actually, first things first, who is this chick? You clicked on her name, Cynthia Prescott, no mutual friends. There were only a few pictures, each smile she wore dug and pushed further and further into your gut, there would be no way Peter could ever cheat, unless it was with a girl like that. If you had big enough balls you would watch her story, but you already felt like you were shutting down. 

You wanted to respond. Anything, “hey, sis.” or “wussup, girlie?” maybe even  ��please god don’t ruin anything for me, he’s all I have.” Instead you swallowed your tongue and closed out, if you didn’t ask then she wouldn’t tell, then you wouldn’t have to know. That was the best possible plan, you could pretend this never happened, you didn’t know a Cynthia Prescott, and by the looks of it none of your friends did. 

‘Message me back, girlfriend! I have something to bring to your attention.’ 

A second message, emojis littered her words, it was like sprinkling glitter on an open wound. You wanted to scream, you kept telling yourself it wasn’t real, he couldn’t have done it. For a minute you think about deleting the app all together, but that would make you weak, wouldn’t it? Run away, play pretend that your boyfriend didn’t cheat? 

You should be angry, seething, enraged. You should want to tear apart his dorm room, wipe his computer’s history, email his professors a list of curse words they remind him of, spill coffee on his returnable textbooks, anything to cause him a pinch of the hurt you were feeling. 

It was hurt, wasn’t it? The way your stomach dropped, the way you feel frozen, the way you can’t stop thinking about it. ‘Not peter, not peter, not peter,’ a chant rattled your mind, you collapsed to his bed, ‘hey, girlie, not peter, hey, girlie, not peter,’ you couldn’t help to pick up your breath. 

A full blown panic attack, when was Peter coming back? His class ended at four, what time was it? Where was your phone, the phone with the dm, the one with the text, the one that says he’s cheating. 

“Woah, are you okay?” 

Peter’s hands were held up, he was thrown off seeing you hyperventilate on his bed. Your hands shake, you should be angry, you should be screaming, you should hate him. So why do you want him to say sorry and hug you, kiss you softly, hold you until you feel whole again, why did it hurt so much?

His hands wrap around your shoulders, “baby, you okay?” 

You stared at him in shock, “you’re cheating on me.” A fact, not to be questioned. 

Peter pulls a face, “I am?” 

You nod, “I got a text.” 

“Oh.” He looks at the ground, you see guilty, you nearly break into tears. Your stomach hurts, your chest is tight, you feel lightheaded, nothing feels right and everything just hurts. 

“Can I ask who with?” 

A sick joke, he couldn’t even keep count, he wanted a number from his lineup. You shrug his hands off, wipe at your nose, “Cynthina Prescott,” Peter’s eyes widen, he nods, the name bouncing in his mind. 

“Baby, who the fuck is Cynthia Prescott?” 

“I don’t know! You’re the one fucking her, she told me!” 

Okay, maybe she didn’t but you knew what that text meant. 

“Baby, I don-” 

“Don’t call me that! Liar!” 

He sighs, “I don’t know a Cynthia, Y/N, I swear.” 

Your eyes narrow, “then why did she tell me she did?” 

“I don’t, I’m,” he’s pulling at straws, he feels like he’s the one being gaslighted, he looks for your phone on the bed. 

“Did she tell you in person, or text you? Bab- Y/N, I don’t know who she is I promise.” 

You hold a hand to your chest to settle your breath, “instagram dm,” Peter rested a hand on your head to calm you, his other hand finding your phone and opening up the app, and tapping on messages he saw the culprit immediately. He was ready to defend his honor to death, his next step is tracking them down. Until he blinked at the messages, “honey, did you delete something?” There was nothing that indicated anything of the sort, just a cryptic message, if anything he thought it was spam. 

“No,” you whimper the words, his fingers massage at your head slightly, he seemed confused but you also never would’ve guessed he’d cheat. 

“Baby, I don’t see anything about me here. I don’t know who she is and she isn’t following anyone I know.” 

“It’s a hey girlie text, peter!” 

Peter finally sat next to you, your phone in his grasp. “I don’t know what that is,” you groan, “it means like, hey girlie, your man is doing something sus.” 

Peter scrunches his face, “but I don’t know her, look, just message her, ask her to show you.” 

You shake your head fast, “I’d rather not see it, I don’t want to see you with someone else.” 

He huffs, “I’m not cheating! I’m not skilled enough to do that, let alone have enough time in the day!” You sniffed, peter grunted, “fuck this, I’m asking.” 

‘I’d love to see it, girlie!’ 

You wrinkle your nose, almost on automatic response it shoots a reply. 

‘You’re so pretty, I’d love for you to promote our new product! Just add me and download our app, use my name for a free bottle!’ 

Relief fills you, it was a bot, a simple mlm, a pyramid scheme, no real threats. 

“Oh my god, peter, I am so sorry, I didn’t-” 

“Geez Louise, babe. I know I’m nerdy but fucking a robot? C’mon now.” 

A joke, he wasn’t mad. Even after you accused him of the worst betrayal, he was trying to make you feel better. “I was so hurt and scared, I didn’t believe it, or didn’t wanna believe it, so I didn’t message her back but, like, i’m so sorry petey.” 

 Peter presses a kiss to your temple, “it’s okay, baby. It was very convincing, it said hey girlie.” 

You groan and lean into him, “you don’t understand, you will never understand.” 

“Is that a tone? Are you taking a tone up with me? Should I text Cynthia for a good time?” 

You sock his arm, “too soon!” 

[amyispxnk]

My Kind of Woman

Chapter 4: Route D.

Series Masterlist || Previous Chapter

Series summary - Your song captivates Joel the second he hears you that night in Jackson, but he struggles to work up the courage to confess his feelings. With some (very heavy) encouragement from Ellie and Tommy, you two get closer and closer until he finally thinks he’s ready.

Chapter summary - A mistake from Tommy brings the two of you closer together once more.

A/N: yall know i couldnt let reader and joel be apart for longer than one chapter lmao

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Word count: 3.6k (woo she’s a big one)

Warnings: language, violence, firearms/weapons, blood, fluff, slight angst, panic attack, the tiniest smidge of some dirty thoughts

DO NOT COPY THIS FIC IN ANY WAY PLS AND TY.

Your day starts off simple. You wake up, brush your teeth, drink some coffee as you watch the sun rise. Then, you wash your mug and head upstairs to-

Loud, incessant banging startles you as you stop in your tracks, turning to the door.

You hear Ellie’s voice from the other side and immediately rush to open it, eyes wide as you take in her dishevelled appearance and the sight of Joel beside her.

“Hey.” She smiles sheepishly, knowing you probably don’t want to see him right now.

“I knew you wouldn’t come out if you heard Joel was here, so.. yeah. Anyway! Some shit happened and they need you to come to the clinic with us.”

You’d only been half paying attention after you realised her little trick to get you and Joel in proximity again, but your head snapped up when she mentioned the clinic.

“The clinic? Why? What’s going on?” You say hurriedly, already pulling a jacket on.

“Tommy, he-” Joel starts, and you look up at him. He’s surprised when you seem ready to listen, not cutting him off or ignoring him.

You raise your eyebrows and he clears his throat, continuing.

“He got hurt on patrol.”

You tense up, about to make a break for the clinic when he places a gentle hand on your shoulder, stopping you. You try not to shudder at the contact.

“He’s fine. It wasn’t too bad, we made it back here in time.. But his leg got kind of fucked up and he can’t go on patrol for a few weeks, at best.” He says after letting go of you, the three of you all walking towards the clinic now.

“Okay. Okay.” You mutter, exhaling shakily as you try to calm yourself down.

You and Tommy were friends even before Joel came into the equation, but after you and Joel had your little.. disagreement, Joel was constantly asking about you. First he pestered Ellie, and when she got fed up with it and told him to ‘just man up and ask her, dude’, he went to Tommy.

Tommy then started checking up on you and hanging out with you a little more, and, despite the reason he was doing it, the two of you were now pretty good friends.

Your nose wrinkles as the three of you finally get inside the clinic, the stale smell of chemicals and drying blood invading your nostrils.

A nurse by the door recognises you almost immediately, taking you to see Tommy. To be fair, he doesn’t look that bad. But he’s definitely paler than normal and he’s not got that stupid grin on his face like he always does.

You stand at the door, unsure if you should even really be here, now that you think about it. The rest of these guys - Maria, Joel, Ellie - are practically family to him, and you’re just you. Why am I here? You find yourself muttering, ready to turn and leave when Tommy greets you in a weak voice.

“Hey.” You say, putting on a brave face. The others step back, having already been with Tommy for a while when he got back. Maria still clutches his hand tight, though.

“What did you do this time?” You tease, smirking as you sit beside him.

“You’re sayin’ that like it’s my fault.” He argues, to which you just raise your brows.

“Okay, it was my fault.” He mutters, going on to explain how he was too busy ‘yappin’ about somethin’ or other’ to Joel whilst they were on what was supposed to be an easy patrol. The fact that it was an ‘easy’ patrol meant that he was a lot more carefree about it, turning the corner and running straight into a group of raiders.

He laughs about it now, but it was definitely one of the scariest moments in his life. He barely had a second to think before a shot was fired, straight into his thigh. Afterwards, his assailant kicked him in the same leg and brought him to his knees. Joel rushed in, met with the sight, and let his instincts take over.

Something about the way they just trail off after that tells you it wasn’t pretty.

“Anyhow.. Joel brought me back and they patched me up, good as new!” Tommy says, managing a little humour as he points at his very limp and bruised leg.

You just nod, giving him another (fake, but hopefully) reassuring smile.

Joel clears his throat as he steps beside you.

“Tommy was originally my patrol partner but, uh, since he’s clearly not in the state to do that, he wanted you to join me instead.” He says, trailing off uncomfortably.

You still, taking the words in.

It’s been a good month now, and the hurt of what Joel did to you has mostly blown over.

Maybe this would be a good chance for the two of you to start over? If he really was just scared to take things any further, maybe this is how you figure out why.

“Okay.” You nod, and he lets out a sigh of relief.

Tommy gives him an ‘I told you so’ look, before turning to you.

“Next patrol is on Thursday afternoon, so just take it easy ‘til then. The route isn’t as easy as the one we just did.” He says, getting a small chuckle out of you since clearly the route did not turn out to be as easy as he thought.

“Okay, Tommy, thank you. Get better soon.” You say, before leaving him with his family and returning back home.

–

This time, it’s Thursday morning, and your routine goes along smoothly. You get dressed and head out to the Jackson market, needing to restock on some supplies before patrol since you haven’t been on one for a while now.

After lunch, you make your way to the armoury and pick up your weapons - a revolver, a rifle, and a knife you put in your holster.

You make your way to the stables, where you find Joel with his horse. You don’t know how to greet him so you just go over to your own mare, May, brushing her hair and feeding her an apple.

“Hey.” He finally chokes out from the other side of the room.

“Hey.” You say, a little softer. It’s the first time in ages that the two of you have been alone together, and the first time you’ve actually been ready to talk to him normally again.

“You ready to get goin’?” You ask after another beat of silence, to which he nods. The two of you set off down the river path on Route D, where a horde of runners was supposedly closing in near one of the checkpoints.

It started off as almost complete silence, save for the sound of your horses’ hooves and the occasional birdsong drifting through the air, but then you decided to bite the bullet and try to start a conversation with him.

“So! How’ve you been?” You say at last. You know it’s probably the most basic conversation starter ever used in the history of forever, but you do genuinely want to know what he’s been up to recently.

“Umm… fine. Not got much goin’ on, you know how it is.” He mutters, still unable to fully meet your gaze.

You nod, pursing your lips and glancing around as you search for something else to say, feeling the awkwardness clawing its way back to the surface with every passing second.

Joel surprisingly solves the problem for you.

“Actually- it’s probably really boring, but, uh, I finished up a pretty big woodworking project last week. ‘s for Ellie’s birthday.”

“What was it?” You ask, intrigued by this new fact you’ve learnt about him. He does so much with his hands.. guitar, building, shooting, and now woodworking. For a guy with such big fingers he sure does a lot of intricate work with them. What else could he do with them? You know you’ve been having that thought a lot recently, despite not talking to him for ages. Maybe that’s why you’d been thinking about him so much, especially in your bed at night-

“Turtle duck.” He says, breaking you from your reverie, and you giggle softly.

“A turtle duck? Like, from that cartoon?”

He tries to prevent his heart from bursting at the sight of your smile and the sound of your laugh, knowing he too caused it, but it doesn’t work.

“Yeah, yeah. She found one of the comic books and, even though she’s still hooked on them Starlight ones, she thinks they’re pretty cool. Thought she might like it.” He says, fondness in his tone as he speaks of her, and it makes your heart want to burst too. He’s such a good father to her. If he is her father. You’re still not completely sure. You want to find out but you don’t know a way to say it, so you push it to the back of your mind for now.

“When is her birthday? I feel horrible for not knowing, but..” you ask.

“No, don’t worry ‘bout it. It’s in a few weeks, July 23. Told me she never knew her birthday so I let her pick one, and of course she chose that comic lady’s one.” He grumbles playfully, making you laugh once more.

“Well, I gotta get a gift for her then. What do you think she’d like? I know she’s into comics, but you already claimed that, and there’s also the guitar.. But that’s all I got.” You hum, brows furrowing as you try to think of something.

“Well, we could always find some stuff for her guitar. There’s another patrol route I’d go on with Tommy, and we passed this old music store ‘bout a month ago. I reckon we could go and clear it, pick up some stuff.” He says, and you beam at him.

“That sounds perfect! Thank you, Joel. You’re sure she’d like it?”

“I know she would. From people she cares about, she appreciates even the thought. She’ll love it, sweetheart.” He smiles, not even realising the pet name he’d let slip.

You feel the heat in your cheeks, and bite back a stupid grin of your own when you realise that maybe things are going to be back to normal again.

–

After about another hour of scattered chatter and comfortable silence, you near the checkpoint. Sure enough, you spot mauled carcasses and shattered glass windows along the way, together with some other classic signs of infected inhabitants. If that wasn’t enough, you hear the telltale gurgling cries of the creatures, and fall back slightly to devise a plan and stow the horses somewhere safe.

“We gotta be smart about this. Smart and fast, and quiet.” Joel begins, leaving no time to mess around. “We don’t know how many are in there, and we don’t know if there are clickers ‘n’ whatnot with ‘em, so we gotta take out as many runners as possible without making a sound. Then we work on any clickers. Got it?” He asks, finally looking back up at you.

“Yeah. Jus’ needa make some more shivs and then we can get going.” You reply, taking your backpack off to get the supplies you need and starting to make a few, hoping you won’t need them but knowing you probably will. It’s not common to get a horde of runners without a handful of clickers thrown in there.

“Okay, I’m ready.” You say as you stand back up, zipping your jacket up and making sure the collar covers your neck. It’s a precaution you take which has really saved you from getting bitten there before. Such a simple thing, you wonder why it’s not a common practice by now.

He nods, and you exit the garage, securing any doors before heading over to the overrun buildings. There are two on the left and three on the right, with a few stragglers further down the road. Joel takes the stragglers on the left, and you take the ones on the right. He always seemed to favour his left, for some reason, even though he was right handed, and it always felt like he didn’t hear you properly when you were on his right. Was he really that old that he was going deaf? You briefly pondered as you met back in the middle to discuss what comes next, wiping the blackened blood off of your blade.

“I reckon we go a building at a time, clear a floor each. That way we can get to eachother quick, if need be, and we don’t get overwhelmed if there turn out to be more than we thought.” He decides, and you agree with him, before the two of you head off to the left buildings of the street. It’s mostly runners, but there were 3 clickers which you had some close calls with. The two of you managed to clear that side, looting the buildings afterwards and making your way to the right.

The first building also goes fine, but you think you notice spores between the first and second ones, holding your hand up and stopping Joel. You make your way back to him, whispering about what you’ve seen, and the two of you pull your gas masks on.

A shaky exhale from you pierces the air as you enter the second building, guns raised, Joel turning left and making his way down the hall, as you take the right.

A runner stands at the end of the hallway, limping around, and you know you need to be fast about this. If it turns around, it’ll scream at the sight of you, and you’ll be dead.

Your swiftness works out as you stab the infected in the throat, but your eyes widen when you realise there’s a clicker directly facing you, about 10 feet away from you.

You find yourself forgetting how to breathe and holding your breath impulsively, but maybe that’s a good thing, since you’d surely be hyperventilating by now if you could.

The corpse starts to grow heavy in your hands, and you muster up all of your strength to half-carry, half-drag, the thing behind the corner of the wall. Of course, the slight shuffling of your footsteps piques the clicker’s curiosity, and you hear the low croaks coming from its mouth as it ambles over towards you, giving you about 5 seconds to come up with a plan.

Your knife. If you can get a good grip on it, then your knife will be able to finish it off for you. But how would you get a grip on it when it’s directly facing you?

No time to question that now, since the clicker is literally right in front of you.

It tenses up, opening its mouth as it gets ready to screech, and you know you have to kill it now.

You rush forward as quickly and quietly as you can, trying not to cry from the sheer fear you're experiencing as its hands reach for you, sidestepping and getting behind it, stabbing it in the neck once, twice, before holding the knife there until it bleeds to death in your hands.

You take a moment to calm your breathing before moving on to the other rooms on your side. Another clicker, which you’re much more prepared for, and 6 runners, all taken down stealthily.

You’re carefully making your way over to Joel’s side when you hear it. A bang, a crash, and the loud, terrifying roar of a bloater.

Holy fuck, you think, this is the day I die. Because you’ve never taken on a bloater before, not many people have, and you don’t know if Joel has either. But you know you have to help him either way. It seems to be in his area, and you just start running, gun out, nothing to lose.

You hear it down a hallway, and dart into a room on the side, hoping it’ll run past you and you can get a shot on it from behind. You, again, try to calm your breathing as the heavy thuds of its footsteps get closer and closer, your body rigid as you clutch your gun tight.

It pauses, and your life flashes before your eyes when you think it starts turning towards you, but it just continues down the hallway.

Then you make what could possibly be the biggest mistake of your life.

You cock your gun.

And the thing roars again, before it’s charging towards you. You scream, you can’t help it, and start running.

You have to get out, find some sort of space so you can actually take a fucking shot at it without dying, but you don’t know how. It’ll charge at you in the time it takes to actually fire a shot, and you’re trying not to cry as you hear it behind you. You turn into a room, dart around, before slowing down and trying to be quiet. It’s a few rooms over, but you can still hear it, and as you try to focus on pinpointing its location, a hand covers your mouth from behind.

You start flailing, about to jam your gun into your attacker’s stomach, when Joel’s low voice whispers in your ear.

“It’s just me. Calm down.” He soothes, slowly releasing you.

You could cry at the sight of him, are surprised you haven’t already, staring at him with wide eyes.

“You ever taken down one of these before?” He asks quietly, nodding towards the direction of the bloater, and you shake your head.

“Okay, well I have, and here’s what we’re gonna do. I’ll come up from behind and fire at it a few times, try hit its legs so it can’t run at us. Then you’re gonna throw one of these at it from the other side, and start firin’ too.” He says, handing you a nail bomb. You were surprised he just had one of these, but you don’t question it right now, taking it from him with shaky hands.

“You gotta be careful with it, okay? Don’t be accidentally settin’ it off or somethin’.” He tells you, and you just nod, eyes still wide. He meets your gaze and softens a little.

“I know you’re scared, darlin’, but just trust me on this.”

“Okay.” You whisper, finally finding your voice.

“Okay.” He repeats, nodding and standing up.

You stand up too and you find the bloater again with him, watching as he approaches it from behind, grabbing the nail bomb and bracing yourself. You have to do this exactly how he said or it won’t work out.

He fires, the bloater screams, and you throw the bomb, wincing as it shakes the entire building with its blast.

You go onto autopilot as you pull out your rifle, firing round after round, trying to kill it before it can charge at either of you, Joel doing the same with his shotgun.

You barely realise the thing is dead as you continue firing, going to reload when you realise it’s gone completely still.

Your body is still rigid and tense when Joel approaches you, lowering your gun and directing your gaze back to him.

“You okay?”

“Yeah.” You whisper, voice weak.

“Let’s go, then.” He mumbles, knowing you’re definitely not okay right now.

You loot this building before clearing the last one, it being pretty empty save for the 4 runners you take down, and head back to the horses. You’re still moving on autopilot as you untie your mare when Joel’s palm comes to your shoulder. You jolt at the contact, relaxing a little when you remember it’s just Joel, and he sighs.

“Look at me.” He says, and you turn slowly, chin trembling as you meet his soft gaze.

“Are you okay?” He asks again, slower this time, and you just shake your head as your tears start to fall.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, fuck-” you mutter, wiping your eyes and digging the heel of your palm into them to try stop any more tears, finding yourself starting to hyperventilate and get overwhelmed as all the panic in your body finally gets released.

“It’s okay. C’mere.” He says quietly, opening his arms for you, which you gladly step into.

“It’s okay.” He repeats for you, holding you tight. It grounds you, feeling him like this, warm and big and safe.

The tears eventually stop and you sniffle quietly, pulling back and wiping your face.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologise, darlin’. It’s scary to take one of those things, even after doing it multiple times. I was real fuckin’ scared too.”

“You were scared?” You murmur, having not sensed that from him at all. Guess that’s just how he was, stoic and determined whenever there’s a threat like that.

“Yeah,” he nods, “didn’t want y- didn’t want either of us gettin’ hurt.” And there it is. He was more scared because he had you to protect, as well. He’s a natural protector, and when it comes to someone that he lov- that he cares about, it makes things ten times scarier for him. Knowing a mistake from him could mess it all up. Like before.

“Well.. thank you. For keeping us safe back there. And for.. this.” You say quietly, wiping your face once more before returning to your mare.

The two of you ride back to town after filling out the log book, in another silence. It isn’t awkward, and Joel knows you probably still need some quiet time to process everything, but he does try talking to you again once you’ve made it back to the stables.

“You alright now?” He asks quietly, as the two of you return your weapons.

“I will be. Thank you, Joel.” You say with a small smile, the most you can manage right now.

“Okay. Good work today, darlin’. I’ll see ya ‘round.” He says, before leaving the room.

Things are going to be okay.

Thank you sm for reading, I hope you enjoyed! Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated <3

Next Chapter

Tags- @mermaidgirl30 @tuquoquebrute @joelmillerisapunk @pascals-doll @casa-boiardi @konigslittleliebling @xxx-silhouette-xxx @hannah9921 @friskispunk @orcasoul @sarahhxx06

[t3ag3rs]

g e n s o - 0 3.

its now or never..!

you ran in as the doors opened. you had to think fast and smart. these bots were obviously going to be pretty big, so going up in the buildings would be a smart choice to be able to see down below more clearer.

you jumped and propelled yourself upwards using the wind and landed on the roof of the tallest building you could find. you looked down and saw that there was a three pointer way ahead that no one had gotten to get.

using wind again, you put yourself in front of it and got ready to destroy it. you stomped your foot on the ground while raising your hands up to create a boulder, and throwed it at its neck causing it to fall over. using this to your advantage, you propelled yourself upwards again and dropped the same boulder over it.

you landed on the other side and sighed out, time to go find a bunch of others..

you ran to the other side of the street and found yet another three pointer, but this time you didn't attack it but instead got it to follow you.

i could gather up a couple of these and then destroy them all together, so i won't waste too much energy.

you ran yet again and found another two, catching their attention you now brought the three to an empty lot near a fountain.

you let out a smirk when you realized you were surrounded by enough water for you to use and destroy them. moving your hands, you took the water out from the fountain and used it to surround the biggest one you had rounded up.

freezing it, you had caused it to stop and be at its most vulnerable state. you threw yourself forward with the wind and landed a good kick on it, causing it to break apart.

you let out a grin and looked at the last two running towards you. you stood still and waited until they got close enough to create a huge wall of flames and burn them.

as they drop you wince slightly at the burn starting to form on your arm. at that moment it didn't matter though, you were only focused on gaining more points.

you smiled, you felt stronger then ever. never would you have been able to burn one bot, let alone two. all this hard work was starting to pay off.

you ran to the sound of explosions, gaining more and more points along the way. wherever theres explosions theres bakugou, and where theres bakugou theres always trouble..!

you quickly ran to the noise and found bakugou hunched over with a bunch of pieces surrounding him. there were many other bots coming up to him, and your mind finally clicked.

the noise is what they're attracted to!

if you stuck by bakugou you were bound to get even more points. your body was growing more and more worn out, but you couldnt give up now.

taking the attention to another three pointer you created a bunch of boulders and threw it at it. with every hit of the boulder, the bot slowly broke down.

you let out a pained groan as your body doubled over in pain. you were pushing the limits of your quirk, and you knew it.

suddenly there was a big sound and a bunch of smoke appeared. you forced yourself to look up, and you felt your jaw drop.

in front of you was the biggest bot you had seen all day. those have to be the 0 pointers..! why are they so big?? you readied yourself and turned to the side to see bakugou staring at it with a smirk.

you let out a breath and narrowed your eyes. you knew that if you used your earthbending your body wouldn't be able to do much after, you only had the other three elements left.

i could use my airbending to let myself up to its face.. so far all of the weak spots for the bots are near the face... using the remaining amount of water, i have i should be able to freeze it and create somewhat of damage to it. then blast it with one powerful flame and hope it will be enough...

you jumped and pushed yourself up to the bots face only to be hit by an explosion causing your remaining water to spill out. you winced and looked down at bakugou "watch where you aim your explosions retard!" you spat before turning back to the bot, ignoring the spew of curses bakugou was yelling at you from below.

you only had one option left to create water.

you had to use your blood.

usually you never use it unless you don't realize you're low on water and your body unconsciously does it, but now you had no other choice, you had to do it.

closing your eyes and moving your hands in a circular motion, you heard the water form and felt lightheaded. pushing through, you held back your groans of pain and continued creating more, quickly you froze the water knowing if you went any further you would've passed out. sending the water forward, you covered the head of the bot. with one last force, you put both your hands together and shot a flame as big as you could make it.

the last thing you heard was "times up!" and then saw black as you fell.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

you woke up and groaned in pain. blinking your eyes, you saw a short old lady sitting besides you, "how are you feeling sweetie?" she asks, you sit up slowly and give her a soft smile. "i feel fine.. just bit sore.." you muttered.

"well your free to go and finish the written part of your exam. i just healed you up with my quirk " she paused, "you really pushed yourself out there.. your body was real beat up and your blood was really low.. take it easy today and get some rest after" you nod as you grab your stuff and walk to the room to take your written exam.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

as you walked home you couldn't help but think of how izukus exams had went. you looked at your arm to see bandages wrapped around it.

i guess i had burned myself pretty bad..

you saw bakugou walking in front of you, but decided not to acknowledge him. he had probably gotten a good score, his quirk was pretty powerful and was destructive. he must've been able to make it to the top 20 in the mock fight.

you let out a sigh as you remembered he must've seen you fall after overusing your quirk.

ahh... thats so embarrassing..! how did i even end up in the nurses office? did they know i had gotten injured from one of the students?

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

you gasp as your mom hands you the letter from UA, and run into your room quickly. placing the disk down, you let out a quick prayer before the hologram of all might pops up. you let out a soft smile and reminded yourself to thank him for the training the next time you saw him.

you listen as he speaks, "now before i get to your results i would like to say that i am now a part of the UA faculty!" you cant help but let out a big grin. the worlds best hero is gonna be at UA, helping to train us..!

"now to your results! you passed your written test and got 47 villain points on your practical exam! well done!" you let out a sigh when you realized you passed the written exam. "now there was another grading system for the practical exam based off of rescue as us heroes not only beat up villains, but we have to rescue civilians! In this section you received 28 points, placing you in the top 5 with a ranking of 2nd! congrats!" you let out a gasp, i made it that far up in the leader board?

"but thats not the most important result to hear.. i'm proud to say that you, y/n l/n, have passed the entrance exam! welcome y/n.. you are now part of UA high school!" you let out a yell of excitement.

"i made it in! i actually made it in into goddamn UA!" you felt your mom and dad wrap their arms around you and hug you tight. "i knew you could do it y/n! we're so proud of our baby!" your mom sobbed as she held on to you tight.

"i have to go thank someone for training me!" you announced, grabbed your jacket and heading out, "ill be back soon!" you ran to the beach to hopefully catch all might and thank him.

once you got there you were pleased to see not only all might, but deku as well. you ran up to them, "thank you so much!" you let out a deep bow in all mights direction, "i wouldn't have been able to do as good as i did and make it to the second place in rankings if it weren't for you!"

you head all might chuckle, "dont stress it kid, you both did well and i'm glad to know you both got into UA high school" you smiled and looked at deku, "congrats izu!" he rubbed his neck and laughed, "i should be saying the same to you..! you got second out of all the students!"

"speaking of which.. i was surprised to hear you're becoming a faculty member now! what brought you to the school?" asked deku, you looked at all might questioningly. "well.. i was planning on finding a successor through the school, but meeting you gave me other plans." he explained.

"you'll be able to learn how to be a better vessel for my quirk through the hero program because as you experienced, your body is overflowing with energy at the moment.. you need to train you body to be able to handle the energy. nothing you wont be able to do!" he explained changing into his muscular form.

suddenly the couple on the other side of the beach caught sight of all might, and had caused you three to run away. you laughed at the giddy feeling inside your chest.

you had made it in..! now it was time to face the challenges it would bring head on!

previous parts: pt. 00 / pt. 01 / pt. 02 next parts: pt. 04 / pt. 05 / pt. 06 / pt. 07 / pt. 08 / pt. 09 / pt. 10 / pt. 11 / pt. 12 / pt. 13 / pt. 14 / pt. 15 / pt. 16

[astro-ellie]

im actually pulling out my hair because of the abby & ellie being sisters fanfic, I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS???

abby has you wrapped around her finger.

you had sneaked into the living room a few hours before sunrise, luckily ellie and dina were both fast asleep still. you felt exhausted, but trying to sleep seemed impossible. instead, you tossed and turned on your side of the couch until you could hear the morning birds outside the big living room window.

ellie woke up before dina did. you could see the way she carefully slipped out of dina's arms before sitting up, stretching her arms before letting out a yawn. when she saw that you were awake, she blushed for a second, realising that you must have seen the way she was cuddled up to your dear friend on the couch.

the blush disappeared quickly though when ellie took a look at you and muttered "well, you look like shit." scoffing at her bluntness, typically ellie, you decided to keep quiet. because what could you say? sorry, haven't slept 'cause your sister kept me occupied half the night and then i couldn't stop thinking about her for the other half.

you'd rather not get attacked with a pillow this early in the morning. or even worse, have ellie stomp over to abby's room and create some kind of scene.

you would not want to be in the same house as her when she sees the bruises on abby's neck.

it doesn't take too long for dina to wake up as well, and before she can drop a comment similar to ellie, you quickly say "had trouble sleeping" while waving your hand dismissively. the way dina gives you a knowing smile takes you by surprise, but there's no time to question it as ellie is already heading towards the kitchen.

following her, you're filled with memories of the previous night. meeting abby in the kitchen felt like an answer to your prayer. it seemed to be impossible to get her to yourself, without the interference of ellie, without making it too obvious you were trying to get her alone.

her confident attitude made you weak in the knees, and when the word "good" had slipped past her lips you were sure you'd be melting into a puddle on the floor any minute.

maybe you should have been more embarrassed at how easy it was for abby to make you putty in her arms, but it's difficult to feel embarrassed when all you can think about is how good she made you feel last night. it's really hard to feel embarrassed when all you can think about is how she took you to her bedroom.

when you sit down to eat breakfast with the girls, you're completely zoned out. ellie doesn't pay you any mind however, busy rambling on to dina about the latest issue of that science magazine she's always reading.

sipping on the glass of juice in silence, it's almost as if you're back in abby's room again. you can almost feel her hand around your wrist again as you reminisce how she pulled you towards her bedroom door.

"what?" abby's soft voice had pulled you out of your thoughts. "nothing, i just- it's exactly like i expected it to be." giving her a small smile, abby's lips pulling into her signature smirk.

"you've been imagining how my bedroom looks?" her tone was teasing, but that had not stopped your cheeks from heating up. standing awkwardly in the opening of the room, the way abby had sat down on the edge of her bed and slightly spread her legs had made your heart quicken in your chest.

"why don't you close the door and come over here? thought we could have a little chat..." and the look in her eyes, the way she had looked you up and down as if she was ready to eat you, made it clear that she wasn't actually planning on just talking. so with that, you had closed the door behind you and made your way over to her.

"are you even listening?" ellie's raspy voice breaks you out of your trance, and it's only now you realise that both she and dina are done with their breakfast. "you gotta' hurry up, jesse is picking us up soon."

"yeah, yeah. i'll finish this quickly." stuffing your face with the food in front of you, you don't pay any mind to the sound of a door further down the hall opening. it's not until you hear the familiar voice of abby, greeting ellie with a "hey loser", that you look up.

at first, ellie only grunts something in response. when abby turns around, milk jug in hand, she truly gets her little sister's attention.

"hey, what's that on your neck?"

[just-jordie-things]

hello i'm not sure if you take requests i'm sorry If not 😭 but I really love your fics and I was wondering if you could do something like a long distance relationship with megumi? like reader is from kyoto jujutsu high and they met during that competition event, it can be hcs or whatever you like. Thank u in advance 💖

yes yes yes let's do some chunky hcs bc i never do them and they're fun _

when you first meet the tokyo students, you come across as shy. which isn't really who you are, but they'd just lost one of their friends, and you didn't think it was right to mess with them like mai and todo were. so you tucked yourself behind the rest of your classmates and kept your eyes glued to your phone

(when yuuji ends up being alive and you're told that the mission here is to kill the vessel by whatever means necessary, you still keep your eyes down, but you're anything but distracted)

you don't run into megumi directly. you run into a demon dog. at first you brandish your weapon, frowning at the idea of having to defend yourself against such a fluffy creature. but it seemed the dog wasn't focused on you, as if attacking you wasn't the command it had been given. as you approach it, your steps are calculated, slow, just to be sure it wasn't going to catch you off guard.

more peculiar, when you got close enough, and you lowered your weapon to your side, the big puppy sat itself on the ground. you actually laughed, before carefully placing your hand between it's ears for a little scratch. the divine dog seemed to smile as it panted and pushed it's head further into your pleasant scratching.

"i can't just sit here all day and pet you you know," you coo to the shikigami, but despite your words you crouch down to get a better look at it's detailed markings. "but a little break couldn't hurt, could it?" you ask with a bright smile.

the dog thumps it's tail against the ground a few times, displaying it's content with your attention. again, you giggle. if only you could've been born with a cursed technique that could bring you such companionship.

"you're such a good boy, aren't you?" you praise. "or girl? i'm sorry. I wonder if you have a name..."

you're not sure how much time had passed, but you know it's not smart to stay in one place for too long. you don't know what would be worse, your opponent finding you, or your own peers.

you figure you'd rather the curses unleashed in the area would be your best bet.

however just as you're about to go back to the task at hand, you're caught. or, found, really.

"what the hell are you doing?"

your weapon in hand again, you whirl around towards the voice, and you even step in front of the shikigami as though you were it's protector.

there stands one of the tokyo students, a sword in hand but it's lowered to his side, and the most perplexed face you've ever seen on anyone.

(it's kind of cute, actually)

"dogs are my weakness" you shrug with you honest answer to his question.

it's then that his eyes shift to you, and you realize he hadn't been talking to you, he'd been talking to the divine dog. you snort.

"so you're his owner?" you think out loud. "does he have a name?"

megumi blinks, bewildered by such a question. shouldn't you be attacking him right now? he supposes he should have used your distraction as an opening to get you out first, but he couldn't help but stop in his tracks when he caught you baby talking his shikigami.

whether that was because you were so pretty and he hadn't seen you before, or he was confused as to why his shikigami wasn't following simple orders, he wasn't sure. (it was definitely both tho)

"uh, totality" he answers, and he doesn't know why, it's not like you need an answer, it's not like he owes you an answer, but it comes out before he can stop himself.

you grin, and turn back to the dog- turning your back completely on your opponent- just to scratch behind his ears and coo again.

"totality," you repeat with a smile, and the shikigami's tail waves back and forth in wide swoops on the ground. "what a good boy, aren't you?"

no, megumi thinks bitterly, he's not a good boy because he was supposed to be taking out the kyoto students, yet here you were, playing with him.

"i'm (y/n)," you say, and megumi isn't sure if you're introducing yourself to him or the shikigami, because your focus remains completely on the latter. "you're megumi, right?"

he doesn't say anything, maybe because he's been at a loss for words since he's stumbled upon this little interaction, or maybe because he's suddenly feeling... shy?

"mai's told me about you," you explain, turning to look at him again. he still has his weapon at his side, and you smile at how unguarded he seems to be. so far, he doesn't seem anything at all like you classmate had explained.

(then again, mai had tried to convince everyone her sister was no threat, but you'd met maki, and you know to keep a distance because you'd like to keep all your teeth intact)

"did you do something to him? why isn't he attacking you?"

you shrug again, before turning to face your opponent once more.

"I dunno," you shrug. "maybe his master doesn't will him to attack me, so he hasn't," you smirk at the insinuation, and your pride only blooms when megumi visibly flusters. even from a few feet away, you can see the tips of his ears go red.

and the truth is megumi is flustered. incredibly so. here you were, a stranger, an opponent, cooing to his shikigami like it were a puppy you saw in a pet store window, and now you were smiling at him and you weren't even lifting your weapon. maybe he didn't want totality to get you out of the event? were you right to assume that?

now that he thinks about it, he hasn't exactly lifted his weapon either. but that's just cause he was shocked, right?

"well, since you're not getting me out, i'll do you a favor too," you say, and suddenly you're approaching him, rapidly so. every instinct tells him to tighten his grip on his weapon and brandish it before you could get too close, but somehow you stand before him and his sword remains at his side.

this is your cursed technique, right? you must be doing something to make him freeze in place, because this was completely out of the ordinary for him.

"itadori is in danger," your voice drops in volume, and it also loses the sweet, cursive melody you'd previously used when speaking to his shikigami like a pet. "the old man wants him dead. you need to make sure your team knows"

a million thoughts and questions race through his head, but megumi remains silent, his eyes wide as he stares at you, trying to decipher if you're even telling the truth. this could be a trap after all, maybe an ambush. you have no reason to show all your cards and confess this to him, after all.

but your features are serious, hardened with genuinity. and megumi realizes you have no reason to lie, either. he swallows a lump in his throat before he nods.

he's not sure why he trusts you, but he just feels like he should. in that moment, it feels like he's known you longer than the past three minutes, like it's been years, like you're his closest confidant and there wasn't a chance in the world you could deceive him.

you nod back at him, before a small smile creeps over your lips, letting yourself indulge in his pretty features before you step away with the intention of getting back to the event.

"you get one pass megumi, i still have a game to win" you tell him with a grin. "but i do hope I can see you again!"

lucky for him your back is turned as you head off into the trees, because the comment makes the rest of his face burn hot and he knows it would be obvious if you were looking his direction.

with you out of sight, he turns his attention towards totality.

"what the hell was that?" he mutters, and for a second, he actually would have appreciated an answer, because whatever your hold on him was, hadn't seemed like cursed energy at all.

i'm loving this i'm gonna make a part two to this in a bit :3

[hiemaldesirae]

Swap AU:

Vox's Goetia (we need a name for him...umm because he's where Vox gets the extras for the fight against Heaven; got any ideas?) looks like a Griffin. He's got a Lion lower half and eagle upper half but his colors are shades of blue. (You see why Vox proposed that deal.)

The crew work on defense for days. Vox goes to Lucifer to ask about Angel weaknesses and informs him about Adam's threats against Charlie and the Hotel, and that's how the hotel crew gets informed of angel weaknesses. Lucifer tells, after all why should he keep Heaven's weakness a secret when they're coming for his daughter?

Vox then puts a big order of Angelic steel in for Carmine, paying extra to have it arrive early, which it does so he and Pentious can build turrets and drones to shoot down the exterminators. They have a blast.

Also: fun facts:

Vox's sensors and subconscious relax and recognize Alastor's scent as safe, even though Vox himself cannot smell anything. The sensor's database has recognized certain scents as family (Husk's, Vel's, Val's) lover's/husband's (Alastor's) little sister (Charlie's) my duck loving liege lord who might be my friend too? (Lucifer) the crazy exorcist chick whose now treating me with kid gloves--IT WAS ONE PANIC ATTACK! (Vaggie) Val's weird Spider who keeps taking photos and I know is stealing my shit (Angel Dust) The Best Little Engineer That Could (Sir Pentious) The Engineer's less then steller sidekicks 1-8 (Eggbois) the chick that keeps blowing up the wall (Cherri Bomb)

Angel Dust does do more then steal. He brings in Alastor's cooking to the Hotel, and Vox who does miss homemade jambalaya jumps at the chance to eat it. Vox just devours it. (Of course Angel lied and told him it was set aside for Niffty and Velvette for working so hard. He wasn't going to tell him Alastor had been waiting at the door of V-tower with the large Tupperware bowl with strict instructions that only Vox got what was inside.)

Vox actually turns in early--he'd been stressing out with Adam's threat laying over him and the thought of a true death coming for him hasn't sat well, but the warmth of good food made him sleepy and he goes to bed. He's barely asleep when Alastor joins him, gently petting his rabbit ears and murmuring his undying devotion to sleeping Vox's ears.

uhhh. drawing from the demons of the ars goetia grimoire, seir could work as a name? according to his description, seir can go to any place on earth in a matter of seconds to accomplish the will of the conjurer (possibly explaining how vox can use him for errands and such), and hes not a particularly evil demon. he's also a prince of hell, so that makes his and stolas' relation even closer since there seems to be only 7 of them in the ars goetia grimore

HAHAHA awww bonding time with pentious and vox!!! i still stand by the fact that i think vox should get to say kys to at least ONE other person in the swap au. i simply believe my wife should be allowed to cyberbully whoever he wants <3 also i imagine lucifer would show up to help with fortifications too, no? i just cant see him leaving his daughter and friend alone to deal with the fallout while not leaving the palace... though admittedly, i am a bit biased from what electric mentioned.

me after i die. HE STILL RECOGNIZES AL AS HIS LOVER...... auwgudawgh...... imgonna be SICK. what the HELL did they even fight about because clearly it wasnt enough to keep both of them from pining for each other... AUAUWGAHAH every time you come in my inbox its like another plane (angst( striking the twin towers (my heart)

and i am SUCH a fucking sucker for radiostatics love language being food. the idea that al nabs / has angel nab voxs stuff so that he can stake his claim but he also makes him food.... just stop being cryptic and TELL HIM YOUR SHIT !!! god i hate them. dysfunctional ass toxic couple theyre the WORST. and al. please for the love of god just be a Normal Person and STOP BREAKING INTO VOXS BED AT NIGHt ?!!?!?? just one normal thing from you. god damn its like if he doesnt act like a freak he loses 20 years off his lifespan or something

[bookishgalaxies]

I have a fic request if you are comfortable with it. I was wondering if you could do a Carter Kane x GN! Reader where the reader has bad anxiety and always feels like their a burden. One day the reader completely breaks down and has a bad panic attack that Carter walks in on. This causes the reader to freak out more and Carter has to remind them that they are never a burden to him and it end really fluffy.

I'm sorry if that is to detailed and I completely understand if your not comfortable writing it.

Never stop writing!

"𝐁𝐮𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐧?..."

summary: A mission didn’t go quite as planned. When you started to think back on it, negative feelings began to arise. Thankfully, a certain someone was there to help calm you down.

pairing: carter kane x gn! reader

type: oneshot, not proofread

warnings: overwhelmed reader, insecure reader, panic attack, mention of death

a/n: this took TOO LONG cause my ass was too scared to write carter kane-

Setting your staff down beside your bed, you sighed and flopped down onto the mattress face first. Laying with your face in your pillow, you thought back on the events that had happened later that day.

Sadie Kane taking a bad hit for you because you were too slow to catch it. It made you feel horrible to think back on it. What made it worse? She didn’t make a big deal about it at all. Taking the hit, continuing to fight, seeking medical assistance, and reassuring you that you two were still as chill as an ice cream cone.

You just couldn’t help but beating yourself up over it though. You were such a subpar fighter, and didn’t understand why the two siblings brought you along. Carter in particular always wanting to have you around.

The nerdy Kane sibling with pretty eyes and curly hair has your heart a little tied up. He was so smart and a bit too honest at times. You loved the way he would mumble random facts to you to calm you down. His hand reaching up to touch your shoulder as a way to ground you when your mind floated aimlessly.

You thought about about bad it would have been if something would have happened to Sadie. It would have been your fault. Carter could have lost his sister, his twin, because of your weaknesses.

God, why couldn’t you just be better?

Faster in combat, more magically adept, better educated on monsters? You were such a burden on the team, they really need to stop involving you in things.

You felt your throat tighten slightly as you thought of all the times in the past when you had fallen short, failed to block a hit for one of your friends, had to be healed immensely after a fight that should have been easy. Your mind becomes muddy with thoughts of how the team would be better off without you.

A year starts to run down your cheek, and a sob escapes your mouth. Before you know it, crystal clear droplets are falling from your eyes as you start to struggle to breathe.

Sinking down off your bed and onto the floor, you move into a position with your knees to your chest. Your body balled up as you panic. Panic about how something could happen at any moment, your friends could be in danger, and you would fail to protect them. You might have to watch your friends die before your eyes someday because you are too weak.

You start to have trouble breathing and can feel your throat closing up. Your face damp with fears and your struggle to breath becoming loud. Panicking even more at the fact that you can’t calm yourself down, you start to hyperventilate. Then, you feel a gentle hand touch your shoulder.

Jerking your head up towards the touch, you see in your blurred vision a familiar set of brown eyes.

“I, I’m sorry, I just-“ you choke out as you look up at him.

“Don’t apologize, you didn’t do anything.” He says calmly as he sits beside you, keeping his hand on your shoulder.

“Why, why are you, why are you here?” You barely are able to get the question out through your sobs.

“I came to check on you. You didn’t seem okay after the mission and, I just, I care about you and wanted to make sure you were well.” He confessed, using his other hand to scratch the back of his head, a small nervous gesture.

His voice combined with the hand on your shoulder seemed to help start and calm you down. He sat with you for a bit, helping you breathe to ensure you didn’t pass out. You laid on his shoulder for a bit while he told you about some of his favorite historical journals he had read recently. Before you knew it, you were breathing normally and no longer crying.

“Sorry you had to come in and see me like that.” You told him, sitting up and looking at him.

“Everyone has their moments, ask Sadie, I definitely have mine. You deserve to have someone to help you through them.” He reponded

“I really don’t mean to be such a burden all the time.” You mumble in a frustrated voice.

“Burden? I, uhm, well, I always thought your presence was quite calming.” He confessed, looking directly into your eyes with a small smile.

Your heart skipped a beat at the kind words. He was always so nice, you didn’t understand how he had gone all this time without having someone fall for him.

“I find your presence peaceful as well.” You respond to him, laying your head back on his shoulder.

You two sat there for Horus knows how long. He continued to ramble on about history and his adventures with his father. You felt your eyes growing heavy at his calm voice. Eventually drifting off to a calm sleep with your head rested on his shoulder.

thank you so much for reading !!

stay safe and hydrated !!

[junnieverse]

THE GRUDGE ➳ P. JONGSEONG

➙ synopsis: "forgive and forget" they'd say, if only they knew it wasn't that easy. jay was one of the people you trusted the most and he only betrayed your trust, no matter how much you tried to forgive him, you knew it would take alot of strength to heal from what he put you through and letting go of the grudge you held against him would be a long journey.

pairing: jay park x gn!reader

genre: angst, lovers to exes au

word count: 1.0k

warnings: not proofread, cheating, reader starts crying at some point, hints of breakdown/anxiety attack

— GUTS X ENHYPEN SERIES MASTERLIST !

It was Friday May 8th 2020.

The day everything between the two of you changed.

You were on your way driving to your boyfriend's house after a vacation with your family having missed Jay and wanted to surprise him seeing as he hadn't known you were back.

You had it all planned out. You would tell him your flight got delayed and you would be coming home later then expected, drive to his place with all your favourite snacks and movies to watch and when he would open the door you would yell out "Suprise!" and Jay would shower you in his warm hugs and kisses.

That in your head was the perfect way to reunite after being apart but Jay had other plans.

"I think we should break up. I don't think we're working out." jay says over the phone just as you were about to knock on his door.

"Hello? Are you still there (Y/n)?" he asks seemingly shuffling around on the other side of the line as the door in front of you swings open and there he was in front of you but not alone.

The female companion next to him gives him a kiss on the cheek before saying goodbye to him not bothering to acknowledge your presence.

You had your suspicions about Jay's loyalty to you but you wanted to give your boyfriend the benefit of the doubt. That despite everything you've heard and seen that point to the obvious, mabe, just maybe, Jay Park wasn't like the others.

But you were wrong.

"Yeah. No, you're right Jay. It wasn't working out." you tell him calmly as he was too embarrassed to even look you in the eye.

Throwing everything in a nearby trashcan, you get into your car ignoring Jay's pleas to get you to stop and hear him out as you drove away with a heavy heart and teary eyes.

That was 3 years ago and yet the pain of the breakup still weighed like a ton of bricks.

Having to constantly see Jay not only during your lectures but even at family dinners seeing as your parents were business partners was hard.

Putting on a strong front telling everyone you're okay only to go home and break down the moment you set foot in your house because you didn't want to appear 'weak' and 'vulnerable' in front of anyone. You would slide down onto the floor as you felt your chest tightening, tears blurring your vision and you couldn't breathe.

Everything felt like it was spinning out of control and you couldn't do anything about it.

This was the man you trusted and loved wholeheartedly and he played you for a fool.

You had every right to feel hurt and angry at him. You gave him everything you could and it appeared to have not been enough to make him happy or feel loved.

It felt like everything you did reminded you of Jay.

All the places you went to and the memories you made there together, it was hard to just forget all of that and move on like you didn't have an immense love for one another.

A big part of you knew you had to forgive Jay sooner or later to be able to properly heal and move on but it wasn't that easy either.

You had tried, many many times to just go up to him and tell him that you know he messed up but you forgive him but everytime you mustered up that courage, you just couldn't bring yourself to do it.

You weren't ready to forgive him, to be the bigger person in all this because deep down the smaller part of you wanted to hurt him and put Jay through the same heartache he caused you and possibly even worse just to call it a truce.

How was it so easy for him?

To just up and leave a relationship you had both built for years that not only your friends admired but your parents couldn't be happier to see their precious only child with anyone else but the Park's brilliant son.

He just had to ruin it and you wondered if any part of him felt even the smallest remorse for hurting you.

It was worth noting you weren't the perfect partner either but you still tried.

Always focusing on school to please your scholarly parents with the best marks and spending time travelling with friends, Jay had felt isolated sometimes, that you never cared for him at all until he brought this to your attention.

You were able to recognise your fault and understand your boyfriend was a priority as well but maybe it wasn't good enough for him in the end you thought.

Pondering more on it made you realise Jay never truly appreciated you either.

You always tried to show him you loved him too, though words didn't do enough and you would go to the ends of the earth through your actions to show him but to no avail.

All he ever did was criticise you. Simply pointing out your flaws and inconsistencies making you feel like less of a woman when his friends would tell him all the time about how they would kill for a girlfriend as attentive and loving as you.

Jay failed to recognise a diamond when he had one, you were everything anyone could've wanted and he still wanted more… and so he went looking for that elsewhere.

Part of you was also selfish, you wanted the guilt to eat at Jay and he would somehow come running back.

That no matter what, you would welcome him with open arms despite what he had done and you would both just work through your problems but you knew that would be a small chance of happening.

It was hard to hate Jay Park, you both had a long deeply rooted history and quite frankly it wouldn't be easy for either of you to leave each other's lives even if you wanted to.

Forgiving him wouldn't be the easiest thing either but you were working towards building the strength to let go of him and finally heal the wounds he had opened.

3 years, it had been that long and yet despite the heavy burden the grudge you held against Jay had on you, he always would have a special place in your heart.

You just needed a little more time before you could finally forgive him.

SERIES TAGLIST: @enhastolemyheart @jungwonscafe @firstclassjaylee @jennaissera

[confusedbyinterface]

Misericorde and Fiore

Disclaimer: I have a few years of German longsword training but I'm pretty rusty and I'm not that familiar with Fiore. Images and text from fightlikefiore on wordpress and Wikitenauer. I don't think “the nuns use swords” is a spoiler when there's a nun and a sword on the title screen but getting into the characters might be a bit spoilery.

There's a scene in Misericorde at Catherine's wake where the nuns break open sherry barrels with a sword in her honour.

When I saw Adela I thought her stance looked very familiar.

This is from Fior di Battaglia by Fiore dei Liberi, written circa 1404. I'm pretty sure Xeecee used fencing manuals as references for their drawings.

Lets see what each nun's stance might tell us!

Adela: Posta Longa

This is Posta Longa (Long Guard), full of deception. She is feeling the guards of the opponents to decieve them. If she can wound with a thrust, she will do it well. She dodges the blows and can strike back. She can do it more than the other guards who cannot use such deception.

Adela is clearly a skilled swordwoman: she breaks the barrel in one strike. Also, she likes being clever. Look at how she plays chess. She gets mad when Moira beats her just by gaining a material advantage, instead of coming up with a clever strategy. This is very romantic (even if “romantic chess” like tarot readings is a bit anachronistic). Forcing your enemy to break your guard and countering it with a clever, deceptive move is very fitting for her

Katherine: Posta de Donna la Sinistra

This is the Posta di Donna la Sinestra (Lady’s Guard on the Left) and she is always ready to cover and wound. She makes great blows and breaks the thrusts and beats them to the ground. And enters the narrow play due to her skill in traversing. These plays such a guard knows how to do well.

Of course Katherine uses the Lady's Guard. Xeecee draws it very casually, like she's just posing with a sword looking hot, but if you underestimate Katherine you're making a big mistake.

You could make a pretty powerful strike to the neck from this guard.

Moira: Alber

Oh no, Moira doesn't know how to hold a sword, it's too heavy for her, right? Wrong. This is Alber, “The Fool”, which to the untrained looks weak and invites attacks but can easily parry them and strike back.

The equivalent in the Fiore tradition is Posta Tutti Porta di Ferro, the Full Iron Gate Guard. Other German swordmasters call it Eisen Pforte, Iron Gate. That's a much better description of its strength.

If you are beset with four  or six impertinent peasants Place in front whichever foot you want  and with the gate make a barrier And put the point on the ground /  now hear what you should do See to it that they stay  all in front of your face And no one comes behind you  Now hear what you should do Whatever they strike or thrust  against you, weak them with absetzten Strongly upwards from the ground /  so you will put them to shame

This is really interesting! Moira isn't as soft as she looks. She's got hidden depths to her, and real iron inside. It's even possible she's putting up a front, and is just luring you in so she can put you to shame.

Eustace: Posta Coda Longa

‘You are cowardly wretches and of this art you know little. Do the deeds that you can only talk of. Come one by one, if you dare, and if you were a hundred I would ruin you all, this guard is so good and strong.’

Eustace would fucking say this.

Also, the description of her seven strikes, left right left right top top thrust, reminds me of sword training. Like the Meyer Squares and that. Eustace is getting in some good practice!

Darcy: Mordhau / Posta de Donna la Soprano

Here he leads with the murder strike

This sword is used as a sword and an axe. And its great force can stop any attack from a lighter weapon. This guard is also called the Posta di Donna la Soprano (High Lady's Guard) who with her skill can fool the other guards, because you think she will attack you with a strike, but instead she will attack with a thrust. All I have to do is raise my arms above my head and I can then quickly launch a thrust at you.

This looks silly, but Darcy's found the right technique for breaking open wine barrels with a sword. Aside from Adela she's the only one to do it in one strike. It's a lot safer if you have proper gloves or gauntlets though. Darcy can seem goofy but she knows what she's doing.

I'll have to see where the story goes, especially with the possible implication that Moira's hiding something, but it's interesting to think about!