#i technically know who other actors are. if you showed me a picture. but i couldnt tell you their names

[spyroz]

my biggest fear is that someone will mention one of the world's most famous and influential people and ill have no idea who they are, not because i actually don't know who they are, but because names float around like a soup inside my brain and i absolutely will not know who anyone is talking about ever unless specifics are given. so if you tell me what they did then id know who you were talking about

[valjeancrazylover2]

So... Who's Gérard?

Thinking about his stupid ass so I'm making a post LOLLL

If you saw my post about Marius' friends, you'll have read about the infamous Gérard Ambroise - hes a bit mysterious, a bit of a dickhead, but sticks around regardless. So.... who is he exactly , you might be asking?

Pre-note.... shoutout to @24601orwhatever as per usual for helping me develop all of this and being the one to suggest gérard be canonised in the first place! he wouldn't be alive without you! most of what you will read below in the byronverse section will probably have been suggested or , like. "yes, and"-ed by him. THANKYOUUUU!

Let's begin ! (this is going to be a bit long, sorry.)

FROM THE META ANGLE:

For those who are not part of the like, 5 people worldwide who are In The Know (or maybe there are actually people who pay attention to my deranged rants on my main blog, i dunno), Gérard is, technically, an actual character in Les Mis. Officially he is an unnamed student, and has some iconic lines such as Our world! and Marius, sit down!. You may also spot him at the start of the ABC café scene seemingly arguing with enjolras centre stage.

The character who runs that track is not called gérard of course, though i call every actor who covers or plays the role in previous productions "Fake Gérard"s. Gérard is ONLY Gérard when played by Jordan Simon Pollard, on the West End. He's even in the programme, twice!

Here's some more pictures, with his iconic glasses. (Didn't have em in the programme for some reason.)

The surname Ambroise is completely invented by me. The name Gérard however, the man himself told me, for which I am eternally grateful Thanku hero

And thats basically all there is to know about the "canon" character, other than funny little details i spot. Keep an eye out for him. His track runs usually further offstage so you might miss some of the drama (or him completely if you're watching a bootleg) but if you're like me you probably prefer to watch whatever the fuck the ensemble are doing instead of the leads (sorry, enjolras).

SO IT'S PROBABLY IMPORTANT TO MENTION that the Gérard in the show and the Gérard in my head are two different guys. The interpretation I have of his character comes from my insane mind flanderising little interactions into oblivion until he became this man with a personality like sandpaper. The interpretation that Jordan Simon Pollard himself has on the character is most definitely entirely different. If he somehow sees this, sorry promise i'm normal.

That brings us to...

THE BYRONVERSE ANGLE:

In the brick, i think its mentioned that 5 students escaped, disguised as national guardsmen? well... regardless...... somehow Gérard survived, a slightly meta inside joke about the fact that the first time i was actually paying attention to him in a show, i lost track of where he was on the barricade and he seemingly just vanished and therefore theoretically could have survived the barricade. However the last time i saw him he did indeed take a bullet to the face (while screaming insults, might i add). My canon doesn't follow brick canon word for word anyway, as i like some details of other adaptations better and they work better with my characterisation - whatever. not important right now ,, kinda ,,,

anyway, gérard was one of les amis d'ABC, obviously. A law student, like marius, but cared more about activism, politics and debate than he did his degree, hence joining the revolution. he locked horns with enjolras a fair bit, but was not all that outspoken or loud, usually preferring to keep his head down and judge the rowdy students from afar, shaking his head in silent disapproval.

During the rebellion, suddenly he was faced with the reality that he may very well die, but was still determined for the cause and fought hard, gaining himself a nasty scar to the jaw and a few injuries here and there , yknow, the normal stuff. (another slightly meta note here, in the show, i dont know whether it's jordan not being able to act firing a musket or what, but i first interpreted his shooting during the Attacks to be him looking away from where he was shooting before he fired. this was probably me misinterpreting a very quick glimpse i saw, but whatever, #adoptingintomybeliefsystem.

He got out alive, laid low for a bit, continued his habit of wall-hugging everywhere he went, returned to his studies as a student. His injuries were not so grave like marius' that he took significant time in bed, plus he's a stubborn bastard so would've been up and about anyway if he didn't have anyone to play dramatics around for sympathy.

Emotional scarring however WAS there, of course, and caused him to become a lot more withdrawn and bitter. He became highly defensive and generally abrasive. If he was not a people person before, he certainly was not now. I suppose that's his way of trying to keep his identity low to avoid, yknow.. getting arrested for being an insurgent. just glower at everybody so they leave you alone.

He met marius completely by coincidence - if you read my last post, and as you'll find out if you read the fic when it releases, he was drawn in kind of against his will by Marius' friend René (another law student who dngaf about the law, just wanted to meet people and get the gossip) who saw his Mysterious Aura and got chatting. Gérard noticed something familiar about Marius and vice versa, and found them strangely drawn to each other.

They find each other utterly annoying. They cannot be left in the same room or marius will feel so awkward he will literally fold up and gérard will burst a blood vessel. Gérard will not shut up about politics, which reminds Marius of Enjolras, which brings back memories, which- its just a whole mess. but they have a warriors bond nobody else understands.

and thats the gist, i guess?

so its time for my favourite part ...

INCONSEQUENTIAL CHARACTER DETAILS THAT I THINK ARE FUNNY

He's an absolute train wreck of a guy, as i'm sure you've already gathered. he's rude, unpleasant, a repressed homosexual and an outspoken radical.

Another little meta joke - there's another ensemble character Jordan Simon Pollard plays in les mis. another unnamed character, but he in fact gets TWO lines, in the intro to Master of the House - "Landlord, over here!" and "God, this place has gone to hell!". He told me this character is called Willy Wonka, so we'll call him wonka for now, because previously i was calling him Tall Jean or Jean 3, and willy wonka i fear is more insane and also the OFFICIAL name from the guy himself so who's to argue.

anyway my point - Gérard has a brother. i'm sure you guessed it's wonka. we did indeed canonise that connection, for a laugh .

Yes the only official photo of him has luke's arm in the way. Oh well! You know it's wonka because of the red coat and brown hat. yknow... like willy wonka...

Anyway. his deal. sometimes in the show he will pull out some perfume and spray himself, so let's assume he's a) gay b) into perfume. He seems to be a much more amiable guy than his brother, chatting with other patrons at thenardier's inn (and even sometimes flirting with other men. saw him sit on a dude's lap once. most recently a guy came up to him while he was stood in the doorway gayly and the guy dragged a finger down wonka's stomach seductively. sometimes he dances with the ladies too, so he's either a gay for the girlies or bisexual, you choose) and even dancing around and joining the festivities, overall having a GREAT time , GOD he is SO fun to watch onstage i can HIGHLY recommend. he's tall, dressed in red, camp, and always smiling, he's hard not to miss.

Him and gérard don't really talk. He won't come up much in future, but he's here and he's queer!

(there has been some discussion of other JSP ensemble characters being relatives of Gérard, such as the wedding guest in Beggars at the Feast - who thenardier flirted with and nearly kissed last time i saw the show - but none of it has been wholly funny enough to be canonised at all. From a byronverse standpoint, Marius did not know Gérard at the time of his wedding, PROBABLY? timeline is still, uh, nonexistent?)

(the timeline issue also struggles with wonka's age in relation to Gérard's, becuase obviously Master of the House is 15ish years before the ABC café, so should wonka be significantly older than his brother....? yes. probably. but i don't think about it too hard. he's just......... older than gérard by a nondescript amount of time.. it's not really important and i can tweak stuff to make it work, WHATEVERR)

AND LASTLY, the funniest shit ever, the Gérard Ambroise situationships.

When jordan was on with milan valjean, they'd talk and interact during drink with me off to the side. I'll let you make your own assumptions there.

As mentioned, he's a repressed homosexual. he is in close quarterd with the aforementioned (some time ago) René Gignac, who is VERY camp, very effeminate, participates in the homosexual underground of Paris, the WORKS. Gérard has very conflicting feelings about this man, because on one hand René just LOVES to rile him up by saying purposefully stupid things whenever Gérard makes a political comment. and he can't just back down.

he assumes the hotness he feels in his body is to do with the anger, surely nothing more.

Anyway they at some point get together, its weird, its uncomfortable and awkward, they break up. and get together. and break up. and get together. and this repeats, like, a thousand times throughout the time they know each other. literally the WORST couple ever, to the point where everyone kind of loses track of whether they're together or not, because it's really hard to discern when they are, becuase Gérard is a bit ashamed and René is purposefully trying to piss him off.

René this whole time also has a crush on one of the other members of the friend group, Albéric, but this is mostly superficial and he just thinks he's hot . Albéric is not interested and René knows and respects this, however this does not stop him from pretending Gérard is Albéric whenever they kiss.

There's not much to it. it's textbook toxic yaoi .

it does get funnier however when René does, one day, meet Gérard's brother WHO you will remember is also effeminate and likes perfume - just like René. Needless to say they get on SWIMMINGLY, wonka probably sells rené a perfume or two, and ultimately get together. René does not tell Gérard this. he does however find out because René is wearing Gérard's older brother's perfumes, and Gérard is furious . you can imagine the kind of argument that'd follow.

Whether rené and wonka end up happy i DON'T know. havent thought that far but it was the funniest outcome to me after the disaster that was rené and gérard's "relationship".

ANYWAY! thats all i have to say on this freak. hope this was at all comprehensible. here's an audio clip of one of his wonderful lines in Red & Black.

[bloopitynoot]

13 WangXian Social Media Au's

This list was requested by @yiling-laozu-is-loml and is all about WangXian social media stories. NOTE: All of these fics are tried and true! They include fics I have read an enjoyed and wanted to share.

Request:

WangXian

Social media can include; group chats, online forums, blog, tweets, OF, youtube etc really the public eye (I included some actor/famous/reality tv with fans fics too) or chat based fics.

if applicable Bottomxian only

book canon only if applicable

If you want a specific rec list for WangXian dm me! I love putting these together :)

Enjoy the list!

1 Welcome to Pepper & Bun! (9560 words) by PaidSubscription

Chapters: 1/1 Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Dating Advice Columnists, Relationship Advice, Demisexual Lan Zhan | Lan Wangji, Bisexual Disaster Wei Ying | Wei Wuxian, Mastermind Nie Huaisang, Inspired by Twitter, Autistic Lan Zhan | Lan Wangji, Wei Ying | Wei Wuxian Has ADHD, Getting Together, Fluff and Humor, Those Who Can't Do Write Advice Columns, Idiots in Love, Mainly Wei Wuxian Because Canon, Podfic Available Summary: Wei Wuxian: Did you catch our first letter? Shall we meet up and discuss it? Lan Wangji: No need. Sent draft just now. Wei Wuxian's email pings with 'Column Copy- Final Draft.' It contains two words.   "Dump him." OR: Gossip Editor Nie Huaisang strikes gold when he picks Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji to be co-writers of a new dating advice column. The only slight problem? Lan Wangji has never dated.

NOTES: Okay this fic was so damn sweet!!!! If this was a real advice column I would be invested in an unhealthy way- the two of them are adorable. It gives a little bit of frenemies to lovers and I am always here for this dynamic- the duo who seemingly has nothing in common falling for one another. My heart! Also Nie Huaisang is a marketing genius.

2 For a Good Time, Call (170842 words) by ScarlettStorm

Chapters: 21/21 Rating: Explicit Additional Tags: Modern AU, Getting Together, Pining, Porn, like in the writing and also as a plot point, onlyfans au, repressed lan zhan, sex worker wei ying, in this house we support sex work, Minor Angst, major shenanigans, hornt(tm), way too many details about onlyfans probably, they say write what you know, No beta we die like wei wuxian, mental health, therapy is good actually, in which I reveal my true otp and it's anyone in the untamed/therapy, okay so actually more angst than I was expecting, a surprising amount of genuine feelings, whoops?, Background Jiang Cheng/Wen Qing - Freeform, background lan xichen/nie mingjue, background Jiāng Yànlí/Jīn Zixuān, Nonbinary Nie Huaisang Series: Part 1 of See all this and more for just ten dollars a month! Summary: The picture is of Wei Ying, that much is clear. It’s of a lot more of Wei Ying than Lan Zhan is used to seeing. He supposes that, technically, Wei Ying is dressed. It’s a bare technicality, since one of Wei Ying’s hands has rucked up his black tank top practically to his collarbone, showing a long expanse of abdomen and one nipple. Sweat beads on his sternum, catching the light like jewels. His other hand is--Lan Zhan feels his eyes widen, as though unable to look away from a train wreck--on his hip, one thumb tugging down the waistband of a pair of red briefs. Wei Ying is biting his lower lip and looking directly into the camera, sultry, his eyes dark and inviting. His erection is obvious, outlined against the red of the briefs and framed carefully with the hand on his hip. Lan Zhan’s brain goes wildly, screamingly blank. Or: Lan Zhan accidentally finds his best friend's OnlyFans account and has an ongoing emotional crisis.

NOTES: I love an OF plotline and this one is exceptionally good. Poor Lan Zhan going THROUGH the moralities of not only finding your besties OF account but also subscribing and also finding it too hot to handle. The amount of tears and cash this poor boy spends. It has a happy ending so no stress with his moral angst! ALSO the sequel is so so good KILF (Knits I'd Like To Fuck in (pls note the sequel has them tagged as switches so full disclosure there if it is a deal breaker for you).

3 兔's Clues | Tu's Clues (12296 words) by Anonymous

Chapters: 2/2 Rating: General Audiences Additional Tags: Crack Treated Seriously, Single Parent Wei Ying | Wei Wuxian, Minor Jiang Yanli/Jin Zixuan, Fluff and Humor, Misunderstandings, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Minor Lán Huàn | Lán Xīchén/Niè Míngjué Series: Part 2 of AUs only a mother could love Summary: Most childrens’ show hosts are cheerful, energetic people who wear eye-catching clothing. The man on-screen is none of those things. This man (“that’s Lan-xiong!” A-Yuan says helpfully) is eye-catching for completely different reasons. When A-Yuan had started talking about 'Lan-xiong' and rabbits, Wei Wuxian had briefly recalled 18-year-old Lan Zhan sitting back on his heels with two baby rabbits in his lap, but the idea of his high school crush hosting a childrens' show had been so ludicrous that Wei Wuxian had chalked it up to coincidence. So either Wei Wuxian is hallucinating or that is indeed Lan Wangji on-screen, talking to two rabbits. As the host of a childrens' show. --- or: A-Yuan's new favourite thing is a show about solving clues left by rabbits… or something like that. Single dad Wei Wuxian is very much not prepared to see his high school crush hosting a childrens' show.

NOTES: So listen, this is tagged as Crack Treated Seriously and honestly the energy was not so Crackish. It was a surprisingly adorable and very cute fic. Lan Zhan WOULD be a stoic AF bunny handler as a children's tv host.

4 shoot your shot -- hot or knot (51435 words) by defractum

Chapters: 5/5 Rating: Explicit Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Reality Show, Alternate Universe - Hunger Games Setting, Canon-Typical Violence, Extremely Dubious Consent, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Humor, Additional Warnings In Author's Note Summary: "Hi, I'm Wei Wuxian. I'm a Career Omega and this is my fourth season on the show. I like spicy food, archery and alphas who are funny. Or maybe I don't, I haven't rolled over for one yet." On-screen, Wei Wuxian winks at the audience laughter. Hot or Knot is the world's most popular reality TV show. Part dating show, part survival show, Hot or Knot is everyone's guilty pleasure - and Wei Wuxian is a fan favourite. - The Love Island/Hunger Games reality dating tv show A/B/O au

NOTES: Okay, but here's the thing. This is S tier crack fic and no one can change my mind. Did I think I would be out here reading a Love Island/Hunger Games/ ABO reality show fic- absolutely not but let me tell you *slaps fic* this baby has so much good shit in it. Just pls trust me and go in with open energy LOL

5 episodes (34947 words) by kasunn

Chapters: 8/8 Rating: Mature Additional Tags: Fluff, basically all fluff, Youtuber Wei Ying, Social Media, Actor Lan Xichen, Artist Jiang Cheng, Chef Jiang Yanli, Babysitting, lowkey kidfic, Surgeon Lan Zhan, Canon typical feels, Taiwanese Wei Ying, Copious amounts of Chinglish, pets!, Secret Relationship, Kind Of, bad pet names, Established Relationship, wen yuan is a wen Summary: “Lan Zhan-gege,” Wei Ying sighs when he reads the tweet and Lan Zhan pats his knee. “I said hello,” Lan Zhan says. That he did. The tweet simply reads ‘Hello’ with a waving hand emoji. Terrible. Wei Ying is ashamed of himself for not teaching him better. “Your brother is going to kill me,” Wei Ying says. (or just a lot of domesticity between Wei Ying the Youtuber and Lan Zhan (his husband) + a mild, mini mystery for Wei Ying's viewers)

NOTES: I love this fic so much. The wholesome domestic energy is everything. WY is a youtuber and quite popular online in this and his husband is a mysterious man no one sees or knows anything about- obviously fans get curious and oh, Lan Zhan gets twitter.

6 you are safe / loved / worthy / enough (150003 words) by everythingispoetry

Chapters: 28/28 Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - College/University, Social Media, Mental Health Issues, Healing, self-care, Anxiety, Hurt/Comfort, the mortifying ordeal of self-acceptance, Falling In Love, Depression, Slow Burn Summary: One of the more timid-looking posts, in pale greens and creams and yellows, says Hello, I'm managing to be fairly high functioning right now but I'm really not doing as well as it may appear, and Lan Zhan feels as if someone sneaked into his mind and read his most secret thoughts, the ones he's never even dared to admit to himself. (Lan Zhan falls apart and finds himself through the most unexpected means.)

NOTES: So a few things with this fic; first it takes the prompt social media a little lighter as in social media is used for healing and there are social media talks but it isn't the forefront of the fic, second CW if you struggle with depression this fts that heavily and in a descriptive way. So heads up there. This fic is stunning, it's about healing, recovery, autonomy and love. That being said, your boy Wangji really goes through it in this fic. The poor guy is Not Okay. It is a beautiful fic though and he does get better.

7 Badreads (37442 words) by arabii

Chapters: 8/8 Rating: Mature Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Writing & Publishing, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff and Humor, Bullying as a Flirting Technique, Wei Ying | Wei Wuxian in Wei Ying | Wei Wuxian's Body Summary: Lan Zhan rated it ★☆☆☆☆ August 12, 2022 shelves: should-have-abandoned Picked up solely because I thought that a book release clouded with so much controversy would at least be entertaining to read. I was wrong. How does Wei Wuxian manage to make a book containing cannibalism, necromancy, and a sex cult boring? Lan Xichen and Wei Wuxian are romance authors with large social media followings. Nie Huaisang sees an opportunity to get publicity by faking a relationship between them. This action will have consequences.

NOTES: I absolutely LOVE when Lan Wangji is a Bitch and this is peak Bitchiness. WY and LXC are romance writers and LWJ is a book reviewer with 0 fucks to give. The brutality in which he makes a point to read and review each of WWX's books brings me so much joy. and OFC they fall in love.

8 Falling to the Rhythm (128916 words) by Selenay

Chapters: 14/14 Rating: Explicit Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Alternate Universe - Dance, Alternate Universe - Strictly Come Dancing Fusion, Ballroom Dancing, Dancer!Wèi Wúxiàn, Violinist Lan Zhan | Lan Wangji, Pining While Dancing, Oblivious Wei Ying | Wei Wuxian, Gratuitous Costume Descriptions, Gratuitous dancing descriptions, Slow Burn, Rating applies to later chapters, The unbearable romance of being cared for, Podfic Available Series: Part 1 of Wangxian Strictly AU Summary: "So it's a bet?" Jiang Cheng said. "Dance the showcase if you get him, fancy coffee machine if you don't?" Wei Wuxian considered the machine. "Fine. You're on. I want it in red." "Don't start planning your caffeine overdose yet." "It's in the bag," Wei Wuxian said cheerfully. "There's no way they'll match me with someone like Lan Wangji."   Teaching Lan Wangji to dance in front of the nation for twelve weeks, how hard can that be? Wei Wuxian is about to find out.

NOTES: I love everything about this fic. It was so good and light (a tiny sip of angst because competition and some pining). The Strictly Come Dancing (basically Dancing with the Stars for North America) is *chefs kiss*. Also the fact that WY went in on it for a bet because he wanted a coffee machine I cant.

9 Gusu's Drag Race (55079 words) by DizziDreams

Chapters: 15/15 Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Additional Tags: the gang's all here, Drag Queens, Drag Race AU, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Nonbinary Character, Gender Changes, Alternate Universe - Reality Show, whistleblower, There Was Only One Bed, Alcohol Abuse, ambiguous setting, American political system - Freeform, Big Bang Challenge, Background jyl/mianmian Summary: Meet the Queens of Gusu’s Drag Race Season 5! by QIN SU Oh my god, we’re back again. Hot on the heels of the shocking finale of season 4, Gusu’s Drag Race is back, with perennial judge Lan Qiren, Gusu’s grumpiest shufu, and featuring the return of the grandmother of drag Baoshan Sanren. And this season is already promising one. “We’ve never had such a strong cast of refined, professional queens. It has the makings to be the greatest season of Drag Race yet.” Big talk for the Emmy-award-winning show that has shot dozens of queens to fame, bringing drag to the mainstream. “The mainstream may be taking notice, but there’s nothing mainstream about drag done right,” says co-host Baoshan Sanren. “Drag is about disobedience. It’s rebellious and anti-mainstream by its very definition, and we’ve got some queens this season with the chops to prove it.” With all that to look forward to, let’s Meet the Queens who’ve already captivated our judges.

NOTES: I know I said that Hot or Knot was PEAK Crack, but this one is up there too! We have the MDZS ensemble, we have Drag, we have unionization and the fight for working conditions, OH AND INCLUDED ART. This was so fun to read.

10 Yesterday Once More (22725 words) by Sweetlittlevampire

Chapters: 7/7 Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Reality Show, Long Lost Family AU, Adoption, Family Reunions, Reunions, Lost Love, Getting Back Together, Family Feels, Found Family, Angst with a Happy Ending, Mild Angst, Happy Ending, Podfic Welcome, Podfic Available Summary: „I remember him as…sunny,” Sizhui tells her. “His whole personality radiated sunshine and warmth. He was always smiling, always cracking a joke. He loved playing and rough-housing with us kids, but he could also be very gentle if he wanted to. Looking back, he couldn’t have been older than twenty-five; he was probably even younger than that, now that I think about it. But despite the short time we’ve spent together while he was looking after the kids at the orphanage, he always felt like a father to me.”   In which Lan Sizhui goes on a TV show, to find the man he saw as a father figure while he was in the orphanage, and who disappeared one day. …and who just so happens to be his adoptive father's long-lost love.

NOTES: Okay way less crack, this fic actually made me tear up. A wholesome journey Sizhui centric in which he goes on a reality TV show to find his Xian-ge. The "show" was so beautifully narrated and "produced" and the ending ultra sweet.

11 Love at Second Sight (49893 words) by flowerofgusu

Chapters: 17/17 Rating: Explicit Relationships: Lan Zhan | Lan Wangji/Wei Ying | Wei Wuxian Characters: Lan Zhan | Lan Wangji, Wei Ying | Wei Wuxian, Luo "Mian Mian" Qingyang, Wen Qing (Modao Zushi), Wen Ning | Wen Qionglin, Jiang Yanli, Jiang Cheng | Jiang Wanyin, Lan Yuan | Lan Sizhui Additional Tags: Background SongXiao, background mianqing, Romance, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Reality TV, Musicians Wangxian, Comphet Wei Wuxian, Coming Out, Demisexual Wei Wuxian, Rated E for the Small Amounts of Smut, Eventual Smut, Romantic Comedy, Falling In Love, Misunderstandings, Rivals to Friends to Lovers, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage Summary: Popstar Wei Wuxian agrees to go on Nie Huaisang’s reality TV show, wherein celebrities play an arranged married couple for a month. His manager, Wen Qing, insists this will be good publicity—plus, the funds raised will go to a children’s music school. He’s excited—he’s never been in a relationship before, let alone a fake-arranged-marriage. But when he finds out that he’s been arranged to be married on the show to his rival Lan Wangji, he doesn’t know whether to grin and bear it, or run the other way. How much can he act smitten for the cameras?

NOTES: On a good day I am already too invested in real life trash reality tv so it's no surprise that I am here to include yet another reality tv dating show au. This one was so good. I love a good "fake it till you accidentally actually fall in love" trope and this one does that plus a solid slowburn to realization exquisitely. These poor babes so oblivious- such messes.

12 cookin' up a storm, piece of cake (9562 words) by livinginaworldofnoise

Chapters: 1/1 Rating: General Audiences Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Social Media, Baking, the dumbest comments u have ever seen, wei wuxian being a troll for nearly 10k words, lan wangji suffering the most that any recipe blogger has ever suffered, Baker Lan Zhan | Lan Wangji, Wei Ying | Wei Wuxian is a Little Shit, Crack, content warning for absolute unhinged nonsense, told in the form of recipe comments and emails, Epistolary Summary: yiling_patriarch: first time making a cake with alcohol! it’s still in the oven but it smells great so far ↳ Gusu Lan Kitchen: There is no alcohol listed in the ingredients for this recipe. yiling_patriarch: i didn’t have any oranges or orange juice so i replaced those with a can of orange sparkling margarita! tasted super weird [★★☆☆☆] ↳ Gusu Lan Kitchen: Are you being deliberately obtuse? OR: life is tough for baker!lwj when online troll!wwx won't stop commenting on his recipe blog

NOTES: I know @yiling-laozu-is-loml has already read this (and the next fic) but I legally (not actually) had to include this one on this list. This fic is so damn cute- flirting through bad baking, trolling, and blogs??? What is there not to love. It is extra sweet how they end up together in the end.

13 don’t threaten me with a good time (60023 words) by livinginaworldofnoise

Chapters: 11/11 Rating: General Audiences Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Reality TV, Alternate Universe - The Great British Bake Off Fusion, wwx is a chaos demon determined to make gbbo more exciting, lwj cares about the Integrity of Bake-Off, who will win????, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, gbbo au, content warning for absolute unhinged nonsense, Enemies to Lovers, by enemies i mean BAKING RIVALS of course, the last two chapters are the twitter reactions to the show so, Social Media AU, Podfic Available Summary: “I’m using orange liqueur to make my cake more interesting. Give it a bit of a kick, you know?” Lan Wangji’s expression has only changed minutely—not a lot of range there, it seems—but Wei Wuxian can tell he is perturbed by this information. “Alcohol? In cake?” “Honestly, I’m not sure any cake should even be made without alcohol,” Wei Wuxian says, offering another beatific smile that Lan Wangji does not return. OR: the great british bake-off au???

NOTES: Bake off AU! BAKE OFF AU! It's got cakes, scandal, disasters, enemies to lovers, and clothing so distracting WWX bluescreens. A very wholesome social media + reality TV competition. I highly recommend for good vibes. Bonus with the juniors idolizing Lan Zhan- such little cuties.

[i-used-to-wear-the-fedora]

IWTV, The Follow Up Interview

Hell. Daniel Molloy was almost 100% sure that this was his personal hell. Of course, it was his luck that he would just barely escape the two narcissistic eternal queens known as Armand and Louis just to be kidnapped by who was largely the subject of the entire interview he'd been conducting. The vampire, Lestat. It was convoluted, really. What were the odds of the Uber driver he ordered being the fucking vampire that Louis couldn't stop talking about? ...well, actually, considering everything he heard and remembered in the past few days, he supposed he shouldn't have been too surprised.

Looking down at the chair he was tied to, Daniel pulled at the ropes that bound his arms to those of the chair. Pulling did nothing to help. Not surprising. Maybe he would've been able to wriggle out of his bonds if it didn't hurt to move his wrists. The chair was sturdy. Some fancy plush dining chair stationed in the middle of what looked like some kind of study. Shelves full of books surrounded the room, each covered in a thick layer of dust. From what he'd heard of the man so far, Lestat seemed more like the type of man to show off the rare books he collected rather than actually read the things. Posters for Broadway shows were immaculately framed on the walls. Aida, Billy Elliot, The Lion King. Lestat was an Elton John fan, apparently. Daniel did his best not to roll his eyes.

Instead, he was focused on the large desk in the center of the room he'd been pushed up against. It was completely empty, save the tape recorder set in the middle of it. A blank tape was already inserted. Ready to record. Daniel had a sinking feeling he knew where this was going.

"Hey!" Daniel called out as he attempted to crane his head to look behind him. "Frenchie, I know you can probably fucking hear me and I want you to know that I'm not interested." Trying to move his legs revealed they were tied to the chair as well. "I've already had to listen to your boyfriends make asses of each other and you for long enough. The last thing I want is to deal with more of your weird love triangle bullshit."

"You make it sound like you have a choice." A hand on the chair followed the voice, and Daniel yelped from surprise.

"Jesus fucking Christ!" Daniel cried as he watched a man circle around him. He was tall. Maybe mid thirties with long blonde hair. He wore skin-tight leather pants with an even tighter see-through shirt. Combined with the air of arrogance the man carried along with his smug grin, it didn't take a genius to figure out the man was Lestat. Just as dramatic as foretold.

"So you must be Daniel." Lestat's smile reminded Daniel of the costumed actors that tried to stop you for pictures in Times Square. Fake and just slightly intimidating, ready to shank you if you didn't pay for the pictures you were forced to take together. "Wow. I've learned so much about you." The blonde hoisted himself into the desk in front of Daniel, eyes staring down at him like a predator eyeing its dinner.

"I could say the same about you." Daniel shifted, wondering how Lestat knew about him. An issue he could worry about later.

"Oh, I'm sure Louis and Armand have told you all about me." Yeah, he was practically all they talked about. "And. You see, they have their side of the story, but it just didn't seem fair that you only got to interview them." Lestat leaned forward and perched his chin in his hands. "So I've decided that you will have the honor of capturing my story in my own words."

"And what if I don't cooperate?" Daniel asked with a raised eyebrow. In response, the younger (technically older, much older) man reached into his pocket. Daniel noticed the bulge, and for a moment, he wondered if he'd be the next in what was likely a long line of men to see Lestat's cock. Instead, he pulled out a pill bottle.

"Your Sinemet. Helps with the pain, right?" Lestat asked as he noticed the discomfort in Daniel's small movements. "You know it's a real shame that I didn't get to meet you back then, too. I wonder if you were beautiful. Before the age and sickness set in."

"Louis seemed to think so." Daniel's verbal jab made Lestat pause. Just for a moment, but it was long enough to notice as the vampire set the pill bottle aside with a sigh.

"I suppose I deserved that." Lestat reached over and grabbed a letter opener that Daniel hadn't seen before. He brought it to Daniel's wrists, and the man flinched away, expecting pain. Instead, his wrists were cut free. Daniel watched as Lestat got up and grabbed a laptop (his laptop) off of a nearby end table and handed it to the reporter. Walking back to the desk, Lestat leaned over and pressed play on the waiting tape recorder. "Just, humor me."

"Well, considering I don't exactly have a choice here." Daniel rubbed his rope burned wrists. "I guess we should start from the beginning."

[changingplumbob]

Villareal: Chapter 6, Part 4

Devin and Luna finish their date while Joey has a night on the town.

CW: Moderate sim spice. Content Warning Guide

Luna and Devin use some German and Italian. Amore (Italian) Love Schatz (German) Treasure

Devin: I love seeing you happy

Luna: Me to schatz. Now, do we need to do anything about the dollhouse

Devin: I fixed it

Luna: Yes but Rilian lied to me about it and Alfred smashed it in the first place

Devin: I guess we’ll need to talk to them about lying eventually but I don’t want to be too hard, after all he was only trying to cover for his brother. The destructive toddler is more tricky

Luna: Lies and cheating are normal for kids their age I suppose. And if I think, it’s unlikely Alfred means the destruction maliciously

Devin: We can afford to replace whatever he breaks but I don’t think that’s a good way to raise him long term. When will they be able to understand consequences

Luna: They’re old enough to start noticing cause and effect but consequences don’t make sense unless they immediately follow the action so… not yet

Devin: I’m so glad I got a smart wife

Luna: It’s basic developmental psychology

Devin: Amore mio, nothing about you is basic

Luna: *laughs* Thank you

The waiter returns, placing their ordered food and drinks in front of them.

Devin: This looks good! Not as good as your placemat but still

Luna: I guess it’s time to see if they are any good here

Devin: I don’t know, that host could use some practice at her role

Luna: Maybe she’s just nervous talking to all the celebrities

Devin: Maybe. She could take some acting classes though, I mean this is Del Sol Valley. There’s so many actors here, how did one of them not get hired

Luna: Not sure, maybe they were afraid of the indoor pools

Devin: What, the fountains?

Luna: They’re too deep for fountains I think. Plus over there some patrons are actually jumping in

Devin: *raises glass* To those brave enough to pack swimwear under formal wear

Luna bursts into a fit of giggles and the pair take turns having a bite off each other’s plates.

Devin: This is not as great as it looks. It looks so good but the flavour is just… not here

Luna: You sure that’s not just your refined palate talking

Devin: Amore, far more than my palate is refined

Luna: It’s your own fault really for making excellent pasta

Devin: And you and Joey for making excellent baking

Luna: Oh, that reminds me, when you were out on your run the twins were playing with their food truck stuff, it was adorable

Devin: Aww! Did you take a photo

Luna: Better, I got a video

Devin: Yes! Show it to me when we’re home okay? I don’t see any of my friends with cameras but you can never be too sure

Luna: Are the paparazzi our friends

Devin: They agree not to post any photos of the kids so I’d say so. You know some places there are no social norms against it

Luna: Really?

Devin: Yeah. Some paparazzi will battle it out for shots of babies and toddlers to put in magazines. Some places have had to make it illegal to take photos of a minor. Thank the watcher Del Sol Valley is not that kind of place

The pair finish up their meal, pay their bill and get set to head home. Technically they still have Joey on babysitting for another half hour. They decide to sneak to their bedroom for some alone time before Joey hands back the twins to enjoy his Saturday night.

Having browsed the profiles in the area Joey has found one he’s intrigued by. As normal he only goes for profiles of women that indicate they don’t want anything serious or long term. This one is a bit older than the average women he’s with, but something about her makes him accept the match and agree to meet at the local nightclub.

Joey: Marianna?

Marianna: Joey? I didn’t think you’d be as young as your profile picture. Most people on here use an older photo. I once had a “35 year old” who turned out to be 50!

Joey: I hope I’m an improvement. You look every bit as good as your picture

Marianna: Flattery will get you everywhere. Although I am surprised you accepted my match, I figured I’d be too old for you

Joey: Age is just a number, normally one not too tied to experience

Marianna: *laughs* Well I’ve certainly had experience

Joey: I’ll do my best to keep up

Marianna laughs as a blush spreads across her cheeks. For a moment Joey wonders if it’s all of her that has blushed as she almost looks like she’s in a pink haze. That idea seems to be pushed from his mind as soon as he thinks it though. He shakes his head to try get his bearings back.

Joey: Marianna, we are at a nightclub. Would you care to dance?

Marianna: I’d love to

The pair head inside and Joey feels himself relax. He’s a bro, places like this are a second home for him. Initially the two dance around each other but following a few drinks Marianna pulls Joey over to one of the small loveseats surrounding the floor to give him a dance of his own. Joey thinks she’s glowing in these lights, and again that though disappears as quickly as it appeared.

Marianna: Forget small talk, let’s find somewhere quieter

Joey: Are you sure? We could go back to my place

Marianna: No, I don’t want to wait that long

There’s plenty of small pockets of space snaking off the dancefloor and Joey and Marianna find one that’s quiet but where they can still hear the beat of the DJ booth. Marianna pulls her top off and Joey stares at her chest in delight. Before he can make a move however she jerks his chin up and looks him in the eyes. He feels his mind sharpen.

Marianna: Are you okay with us doing this

Joey finds himself thinking back on his past hook ups, few of which could be called conventional. Yeah, he wants to do this. He’s just about to start explaining that he’s aromantic and absolutely consents when Marianna smiles and leans in to kiss him deeply and passionately. Almost like she’s read his mind. The focus goes away and again he’s swept up in his desire.

Joey is glad of the chance to feel her properly. Despite the age starting to show on her face she obviously kept herself fit.

Joey: You are beautiful

Marianna: And you are hard

She presses down firmly causing him to jerk up in response. Watcher he wants her so bad. As if in a dream he watches her undress fully and finds himself wondering if they’ll be seen, but again that thought vanishes. Marianna removes his pants and Joey is glad to find himself unconstricted as she turns and slides on to him. Joey thinks all kinds of words that his parents would scold him for using as she moves herself back and forth. All he can utter however are moans, getting more and more lost in the moment. He opens his eyes at the change in pressure only to see Marianna smiling between his legs. When she’s finished Joey pulls her in for a kiss. Before he can thank her he feels his senses dull and his vision go black.

Hi friends! You may be confused but since it's a semi cliff hanger I'd just like to assure you Joey consented to that woohoo and he is not going to get assaulted in the next part so... try not to freak out even though he's unconscious.

Previous ... Next

[mac-lilly]

Mega Con London BTS Recap

Since this is a more personal recap of MegaCon London (and a bit of a comparison with Back to the Musical World con by Dream It), I didn't include it in the JATP info dump from yesterday.

BTTMW backstory

Let's do some backstory first. As you may know, the official JATP cancellation was announced at the first Back to the Musical World con back in 2021. I wasn't there for multiple reasons including Covid but also I just got into the fandom and it felt weird. I'm socially awkward - I cannot look into people's eyes, I stutter - especially when talking English - or ramble and I struggle to just touch strangers which is not helpful for photo ops.

So what I was supposed to do there? These people are actors - strangers I have nothing to do with. They aren't the characters I've fallen in love with. Yeah, not my thing, I thought.

However, when the BTTMW2 got announced, I was like 'You know, let's go to just show the cast how much you loved the show'. It was supposed to give me some closure. So I went.

And while the con was a fucked-up disaster in terms of organization and schedule - on Sunday, Charlie signed autographs until 10 pm, and Owen would have done the same if his mom hadn't cut off his line. (On that note: Never mess with a German mom protecting her kid. You'll lose.) But meeting the cast was an entirely different experience. I'd never interacted with them before, so I was anxious as fuck. However, they were so nice and considerate - and seeing them goof around was just adorable.

(And this pic is still one of my fav pics ever.)

And not just the cast. I met so many amazing people there who are now my friends. Big shoutout to them!

So, despite my hatred for Dream It, I went to BTTMW4 (and thankfully it was less chaotic than BTTMW2). But I was also determined to go to MegaCon bc I knew Jeremy wouldn't come back to Paris. (Unlike the other JATP cast members, he's done plenty of other cons before and knows that you shouldn't be so drained that require alcohol to make it through the day.)

BTTMW vs MegaCon London

So, just in general: MegaCon was clearly the better experience.

Firstly, it was cheaper than DI. Much cheaper.

(Note 1: The * prices are from 2022 since Jeremy wasn't at BTTMW4. In 2023, the photo with Madi, Owen & Charlie was already €180. All four would have been over €200 for sure.

Note 2: The prices for MegaCon were originally in £. The price in € is what I paid according to my credit card.

Note 3: Even though not 100% accurate: € = $)

Obviously, Charlie canceled later. But I automatically got a refund. So bonus for MegaCon.

Unlike with Dream It, you were allowed to film and take pictures everywhere, which was cool. And since the panels were exclusively in English, you actually got way more content. The panels were also much longer, and it seemed like the cast was more at ease. For example, Owen started to play body drums on stage, and he initiated the boomshakalaka without being drunk. This is such an incredibly sad thing to say, but I've never seen him that relaxed during a panel.

Also, shoutout to the many fans that were at the Saturday panel. According to the hist, it was the largest crowd they had on Saturday. (If MegaCon had been smarter and had announced the Sunday panel before the people got their passes, it would have had a huge audience, too.)

The autographs ran smoothly, and there was always a queue, which was good bc Own confirmed that it was Jeremy who convinced MegaCon to invite him and Charlie. (Madi got invited later - I assume after people haunted them on IG about her.) MegaCon was wary about it bc they had no idea if the cast was worth the money. I hope the audience on Saturday, the lines for the autographs, and the massive delays at the photo studio caused by the JATP fans (and technical issues) convinced them.

Side note: After Charlie canceled, I got an email from MegaCon. And obviously, I know they just used some phrases to placate us. But I still hope they meant it when they wrote,

MegaCon, you won't read this. But if you get them again, I'll be there!

(And again shoutout to the amazing people I met in London. To my fellow German tumblr friends: I loved meeting you guys and hanging out with you!)

So the only thing that wasn't great were the photo ops. Yeah, most of the Saturday photos are terrible bc of the fucked-up lighting, and due to technical issues, there were so many delays. (Though to be fair, BTTMW also had issues with photo ops.)

So overall, I genuinely enjoyed MegaCon, and I'm very excited to head off to Dublin on Saturday to give Jeremy the birthday card. To all the people who signed it: THANK YOU!

Some other random things that don't fit anywhere

Not Owen assuming that Deutsche Bahn must always be on time bc Germans are always on time. Bro, I know it's been a while since you visited Germany ... but please, that was mean.

When I gave him ghostie!Willie, Owen told me how much his family loves the little ghosties 🥹🥹🥹 (which explains why his dad was in my IG stories after he posted the pic of the ghosties.)

It's random, but this con was so much more balanced in terms of fans. I remember fans being kinda uninterested in Jeremy at the BTTMW - some fans even got angry at him bc he refused certain poses. At MegaCon, the interest was equally split between those three, and it made me happy.

Here's the lovely ghost merch I bought at MegaCon. Obviously, the pride ghost and the skateboard ghost are Willex, the couple is Juke, and the ghosts with the kitty and the one with the pumpkin are both Reggie! (I talked to the guys running the stalls, and they were so baffled about all the JATP fans - a few Fantoms came over from the US and Canada just for this con.)

[xxx-theartofsuicide-xxx]

I had to pass out last night so I didn’t get a chance to take a look at your posts until now, and this is easier than reblogging shit over and over. And forgive me for missing things - it’s ass o,clock in the morning here. I really like your theory about it being married to the cartoon, because I do feel like the Beetlejuice we got in the second movie is a lot more like that iteration than the first movie. I’m also happy to keep both entities separate but fan theories are part of what makes fandom great and I can definitely see it. The theory that I agree with most is that the ENTIRE second film is the dream and this is BJ’s way, during the wedding scene, of letting us know that none of this is real. Couple of possibilities here:

1) Her waking up at the end with the indented pillow I think could be a nod to something like you suggested where she grew up, never got hitched or had a kid and she’s just been clowning around with BJ the whole time, much of which as a couple, maybe they do even have the ghost house show but it’s a long con they’re running together from both sides lol. Otherwise, why show him in bed with her at all?

2) Could Charles death brought her and the others to the house and allowed BJ to use her dreams to show her the truth about her relationship with Rory and her daughter?

3) I also like the to play with the idea that it isn’t all a dream up to a certain point, and that there’s a time skip between their escape before failed second wedding and when she has the dream about the future only for it to turn into the beetle baby nightmare lol. People can take it at face value to play with that. In that scenario she’d have to wake up and make changes because Rory would still be in the picture, and maybe she can keep Delia from killing herself lol. There’s a lot there to work with.

This is part of the genius of Burton, Gough and Millar tho. I think where fans run into trouble is that some folks cannot accept that it can be interpreted many ways and that all the ways are technically correct. You can take and leave whatever you want. I think a great example of that inability to accept differences is like…

I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’d say within the last seven years or so, fans have gotten really aggressive about canon actualization and then bringing the disappointment (sometimes in extreme ways) when the creators and writers of a work take the plot and its characters in a direction the disagrees with their head canons and desires for the work. And we get all kinds of weird harassment of writers and actors and shit and just, I’m from an entirely different school of thought.

It’s always been my understanding that transformative works like fanart and fanfiction were where fans went to create the outcomes they desired for their favorite stories and characters. I’ve never understood the need to have a headcanon or canon to become actual canon. I feel like canon has its space and fandom, likewise, has its own space, and if something from fandom actualizes into canon, awesome. But if it doesn’t, then who cares? So all these antis and others who refuse to accept that art is made to be interpreted just seem so silly to me. Which is why I responded to your post originally. So, I apologize for mischaracterizing you.

Apology accepted, and I'm sorry if any of my responses were needlessly harsh. I most definitely have noticed the rise in vitriol. I was here through all of it and was a key player in the Beetlewars. There was a time when you couldn't Google "beetlebabes" without finding antis complaining about me specifically by name on all the big social media platforms. It's made me a bit jaded in my response to others, but at my core I am a person who respects artistic freedom and freedom of fan interpretation.

In fact, I think the whole point of Beetlejuice Beetlejuice is that it's a spite film meant to insult fans who take it too literally. I strongly urge all of my haters to please, please take the plot literally lmao. I want them to. Tim wants them to.

The need for "headcanon" to become canon is weak af. As far as I'm concerned, my interpretation is canon because it's derived entirely from canon. I don't need Tim or Winona or any of the legends to validate that for me. This is partially why I'm not a fan of BJ3 begging. It feels greedy to me. I've learned my lesson about asking for more beetlebabes smdh.

The dreamverse is just canon, honestly. It's up to user interpretation where the dream starts and how much of the fantasy is indeed a fantasy, but it makes the most sense to me that the entire plot is hooey. Basically every lifelong babe I know prefers to believe that Lydia spent her life with BJ and I don't see why Winona would be any different. Personally, I think they're in the twisted cuck phase of their marriage.

As a bonus, here's my literal interpretation.

[thenightling]

Daniel Molloy vs. Daniel Malloy

Some of you may be wondering why Daniel is named Daniel Molloy in the Interview with the vampire TV series but Daniel Malloy in the Interview with the vampire movie. Well, it has to do with the book The Queen of the Damned. The first time you learn the boy reporter's name it is in the novel The Queen of the damned where he is Armand's lover.

In The Queen of The Damned novel his name was Daniel Molloy (with the "o" spelling) but when the novel went over to the UK the British publisher decided to change Molloy to Malloy (with the "a" spelling) for some petty reason. They probably just thought the Malloy spelling was more common in the UK. There is a slight difference in pronunciation but it's slight. The movie Interview with The Vampire's end credits used the British edition's spelling while the TV show uses the American edition's spelling. This is not the first time something like this has happened with book characters. There are parts of Europe where Victor Frankenstein's name is spelt as Viktor Frankenstein. (I kind of like that one better.) "Where's Wally?" is published in America as "Where's Waldo?" This name change is particularly odd to me because the name Wally is more common here in the US than Waldo. The name change feels random and arbitrary. There's a Wally in Ray Bradbury's novel and animated movie, The Halloween Tree. And there are plenty of Walters in America and Wally is a common nickname for Walter. I only know of one Waldo and that's Waldo Butters in The Dresden Files novels (and short lived TV series) by Jim Butcher.

The UK version of the TV show Being Human had George (the werewolf), Mitchell (The vampire), and Annie (The ghost). The American remake version (which isn't as good) has Josh (the werewolf), Aiden (the vampire, named for the UK actor for Mitchell), and Sally (the ghost). I am not sure why the names were changed. All of these names exist in America. George was the name of the first American president. And there are lots of Annies. This also happened with the American remake of "Let the Right One In." The novel has been published here in the US as "Let the Right One In" and as "Let me In" but thankfully kept the original Swedish character names. The movie, on the other hand, changed the character names and the vampire (who turned out to be a eunuch in the Swedish version) no longer has a gender neutral name but instead was made "Abby" for "Let me In" and was kept a girl, removing the double meaning for the child vampire saying "I'm not a girl." to the boy (Oskar in the original "Let the Right One In" and Owen in the American "Let Me In.") I've seen English language editions of Goethe's Faust that changed Heinrich Faust's name to Henri and Henry. I've known some British people who mistakenly think we Americans changed the spelling of Dorian Gray in Oscar Wilde's The Picture of Dorian Gray. The reason? Because Grey is the more common spelling of the color in the UK. Both Gray and Grey are acceptable spellings for the color in the US. But Dorian Gray's name was never changed. It's a name, not a color. It always had the A. But yeah, it's arbitrary. Daniel Molloy is technically correct as Anne Rice is American and that's his name in the American editions of Interview with The vampire, but Malloy is also correct if you are going by the UK edition of the book (or the movie adaptation, which has a Irish director.) So much like with Halloween and Hallowe'en, both spellings are acceptable.

[stuckinanotherfandomohno]

Please do let me know if anyone else has done an analysis of this already as I’m sure it would be more detailled (and coherent), but I wanted to look at the immediate presentations of heaven and hell in the first episode of Good Omens and how they are both made pretty uncomortable.

While the set design of heaven is pretty cold and uninviting, it doesn’t neccessarily feel openly hostile from some people’s perspectives. Instead, I think they show how weird heaven is through the choice of lens:

They use a pretty wide lens throughout most of the scene- definitely under 50mm and probably under 35mm (I guess 18-24). For those who haven’t been cursed with Technical Film Knoweldge this sort of causes the same effect as those pictures you may have seen when people use the ‘0.5′ lens on a phone to take a close picture of a person’s face. We feel really close to the actors, like we are practically breathing in each others’ faces.

Different lenses cause different types of warp(?) on an image- to my very basic understanding a wider lens (18-35ish) makes faces look thinner and unnatural, while a closer lens (50+) makes faces look wider and closer to how we view them with our eyes. I use this information to console myself when I don’t like how I look in pictures- it’s probably the type of lens.

This wide angle lens also helps heaven to look really empty:

Aziraphale (and his surroundings) are squished thinner to show the rest of the surroundings which makes heaven seem so much more vast.

Typically you may hear that placing the camera at a low angle makes the characters in the shot seem more powerful, but I wouldn’t necessarily say this is true for either of the two wide shots here. Instead, it just feels uncomfortable, as if the audience is watching from a little too far back, and from a weird perspective.

To summarise, heaven may look clean and smiley, but the wide lens and low angle makes the characters seem warped and off-putting, even if the audience can’t put their finger on it.

Hell, on the other hand, immediately looks hostile.

The flies, the low saturation (~absence of bold colours), the cold greenish tint of lighting. Gross.

In this instance, however, a closer lens is used. I presume something like a 50mm? This is a lot closer to what our eyes see naturally and a more typical lens to use for these types of shots, so we (the audience) are more accustomed to this sort of visual language.

The camera is virtually at eye-height from the start of the scene as well. It’s just a lot more comfortable to look at, even if the costumes/set depicted are a lot more slimy.

I just found it really interesting how both heaven and hell have a comfortable aspect, and an uncomfortable aspect. It sort of drives home the themes about greyness- it would be almost hypocritical to introduce heaven with relatively comfortable colours, set, and cinematographical language, and to introduce hell with gross colours, set, and cinematographical language.

They don’t stick to this throughout the whole season, possibly for good reason possibly not (ie I haven’t made up a reason for it yet) but I thought the attention to detail in this introduction was really cool!

[sgiandubh]

Lionsgate/*** quarter call - not so good as it seems

While I am still fumbling around with the strike's aftermath, let me just quickly say a word or two about ***'s last quarter call, yesterday. Nobody does it as @cb4tb, but FWIW, here goes:

I should immediately say I could not watch the replay on the link provided by the initial press release (here: https://investors.lionsgate.com/news-and-events/press-releases/2023/10-19-2023-140125017), despite my total good will to take one for the team, go to bed early and wake-up at ungodly hours. I have no idea why - maybe access is somehow limited? I would never know, I had no 403 error in my browser, so... 🤷‍♀️. Instead, I could peruse the paper version of the standard Company Quarterly Report (US SEC Form 10-Q), along with some scarce press comments, for a bit of context.

The document is damn long (94 pages) and it reads exactly like I presumed: a kidney stone would be easier to pass (https://investors.lionsgate.com/financial-reports/sec-filings). It's perhaps worth for this phrase alone (on page 43), which really made me stop in my tracks:

At the time of the document's public release, it is technically true and accurate that the tentative deal between AMPTP and SAG-AFTRA still has to be approved by the union's members. However, given the horrendous impact of the strike on almost all things Hollywood and California, for that matter (more on this in a separate post), it's more than likely the deal will hold. The rest is dire: more slashing of content to come, 'if the Company is unable to efficiently complete the production of the film, TV show or program or decides to abandon the production'.

While this does not seem to affect Season 8, this could (I repeat: could) mean that: a) BOMB is gone and b) MIK3 is no longer a priority (the fact that MIK 2, as OL, was listed among the last quarter premieres is not a guarantee it will be continued - not the same amplitude as OL). If so, Season 8 might start shooting as soon as January 2024, since it already has all the needed infrastructure and staff readily available at Cumbernauld (yes, Mordor, the peasant you all love to hate managed perhaps to save the day again!). So OL is doing ok on that side, unlike other productions of other studios, who reportedly started a mad scramble for location scouting and staff recruiting, just before the festive season - that is a big competitive advantage and one of the main reasons I believe it's still entirely possible to pull it off.

The 'thriving' future (according to Feltheimer, that genius 🙄) of *** as a standalone company is still something we severely lack data on, as Lionsgate kept its commitment to go on with the acquisition of Entertainment One (you know, the Peppa Pig people), for a mere 375 million USD, to be completed by January 31, 2024. At the same time, *** is not the only actor on the US media & tech market to proceed to lay-offs and it seems to fare better than many, as I already supposed and told you:

(Sourced at: https://variety.com/2023/tv/news/starz-layoffs-exit-uk-australia-lionsgate-1235779627/).

Something to be closely monitored in the upcoming weeks. I think it's going to be worth it. Sorry for not bringing any sensational content today and I know it's dull and probably uninteresting AF, but it's there and it has to be taken into account, for sure. So yes, 'not as good as it seems' (profit is now mainly driven by motion picture, not television production), but not as bad as expected by the prophets of doom across the street, who - as usually - have no damn idea of what they are talking about.

[wackoffwinter]

i wanna know about the entire cast for the swap au. how would ramona's dynamic with the exes act as?

Ok word vomit incoming. tldr at the end for basics just scroll till you see tldr in blue, the essay is for the real bitches who like lore

Obviously in my au knives takes gideons spot rather than a different ex of scotts like how other ppl do but i decided to make her the daughter of a rich business man (mr.chau) who is gonna pass the business down to her when shes 20 (in my au knives and scott “date” when she like 16/17 like in the books but a good chunk of the exes bullshit + everything before happens right when she turns 19 and she does like. a few chapters into the book and then at the end of the series around the canon gideon scott fight is when shes 20) ofc this also changes scotts age a bit but. lowk idgaf abt him rn hes like 26 at the start or so now instead of 24. roxie and wallace swap place unfortunately, i dont like wallace but i have to put him somewhere. roxie is a semi popular artist and ramona is a mooch who showed up to her apartment after a bad breakup and just never left but they actually have a nice apartment but theyre still in Canada(she drunkenly got on multiple buses and trains from nyc to Toronto at roxies place and survived dont ask how its that white girl swag).

todd takes kims place shocker i know. the twins,todd and ramona all have a band together they replace sex bob omb because they all attend the same college in this au

lucas lee and lisa switch. (yes todd,ramona and lucas beef still happens dont worry)

envy is the 3rd ex and is dating gideon. she has pyromancy psychic powers rather than vegan ones. kim is the first ex still hung up on how scott ditched her in highschool only to find out he was two timing her with lisa. the twins end up. Somewhere. Julie takes one of the twins spots (holly might take the other one. I dont know)

I hate it when ppl age down matthew patel to fit knives’ spot but its also kinda weird because of the whole age difference thing its Odd no shade to anyone who does but it icks me out so im not doing it. Matthew is this guy ramona dates but shes lowk using him for money and cheats on him multiple times (manipulating him to forgive her) before scott is even in the picture.

also in my edit we see she still dyes her hair but she only does highlights and streaks because shes too afraid of commitment in more ways than one.

tbh i need to develop this more but heres the skeleton of my idea also all the exes are friends and often hang out at roxies place but matthew is the last to join them but theyre all friends who dislike ramona lowkey but tolerate her.

if im missing anyone you wanna hear about send me another ask!

TLDR; all of ramonas exes r technically her friends but they do not actually fw like that until the end.

ramona(loser leech)<-->scott(manic pixie dream boy whos life i being tampered with by knives)

roxy->wallace (lesbian semi known artist roommate)

matthew->knives (not aged down,chump being used)

knives -> gideon (daughter of a business man whos passing it down)

todd->kim (whore drummer)

lucas lee->lisa (new actor. Whore)

twins-> stephen stills (in ramonas band)

kim->matthew (first ex)

lisa->lucas (second ex)

envy ->todd(third ex)

wallace->roxy (fourth ex)

julie + hollie-> twins (fifth and sixth ex)

knives doesn't want scott anymore but shes set on making sure he pays for what he did (cheated,lied, used her for money etc)

ty for being interested in my au! idk if im gonna keep doing stuff for it or yk have it as a little side project to keep me busy sometimes! also i did take inspo from other ppl to kinda Frankenstein this together

[absolutebozo]

So. In light of Clown's recent Welcome Home Update. I'm going to post the story for an AU my friend and I came up with together. This was completed on June 5, 2023. This is technically just part 1 but I have not even thought of starting part 2.

Shadows in a Wonderful Little Home.

Chapter 1: Setting up

What if the puppets were based on real actors? What if something sinister was lurking on set? This AU is based on the puppet as actors who control the puppets and is inspired from a picture of Julie that Clown made. I don't remember if it's canon or not.

A little Author's Note. I do not own Welcome Home or any of the characters. The rights to them belong to Clown. Credit to my homie for helping me make this AU.

Narrator's POV:

The eight cast members: Wally Darling, Barnaby B. Beagle, Howdy Pillar, Sally Starlet,  Julie Joyful, Poppy Partridge, Eddie Dear, and Frank Dear, had all known each other and for quite a while. Some for longer than others. Like Barnaby and Wally having been friends since childhood, Frank and Julie also being child hood friends, and Frank and Eddie having been married for six years.

Since all eight of them were very good friends, they decided to make a show together. A show called "Welcome Home." Of course because of all their fame in Hollywood films, it wasn't hard to get their pitch approved by a producer. Before long, production of the show was well under way.

Of course, all eight had helped design the set and made prominent desicions   in how things would be set up. A lot of the desicions were based off of the actors real life interests and past. For example, Eddie being a mail man. Eddie had worked as a mailman in his home town when he met Frank and decided to give acting a try. Sally came from a famous family of film producers, hence her last name. She produced some of her own films and plays too. Howdy had helped run the family grocery store while working odd acting jobs and taking off in his career as an actor. The building was laid out in a way where the actors dressing rooms were along the edge of the building, and the two sets (the neighborhood and the forest surrounding Home) were in the middle so they could have adequate space when acting. There was, of course, the same sets, but smaller so that whenever the puppets were used instead of live action, everything would remain proportional.

"I never realized how much went into producing our own show," Julie sighed as she flopped dramatically onto one of the couches in the common are. "Why didn't you say anything Sally? You're the one with producing knowledge, maybe give your friends a heads-up next time?"

"It's not my fault you didn't think it through Julie. You've been an actor in how many movies now?" Sally retorted back playfully. "Hmph," Julie let out while turning her head the other way. "Anyhow, everything seems to be going just fine. Isn't that right Poppy?" Howdy said, turning to the worry-wart of the group. "That's right Howdy. Everything is going jusy splendidly. We haven't run into many hiccups with production of what we want yet! I take that as a good sign." Poppy replied back. "Well, not yet at least. We all know how demanding Wally can be," Barnaby said jokingly, poking his best friend in the arm. "*gasp* I'll have you know, I'm not that demanding. Just meticulous in how I want things done. Like how much hairspray I need in the morning, where my apples are placed, how many apples I have every day-" Wally said, but was cut off by Barnaby plopping his big hand on Wally's face. "I know buddy. I was just joking around." The others giggled at the interaction between the two before heading back to their dressing rooms to start the days production. Every one was always so giddy to get the day started, especially recently since the building of the set was almost finished

---------------------------------------------------------

"What. What is that?" One of the set builders, Johnny, asked while looking at the floor. "That looks like. Like a pentagram." Macy, another set builder responded back. "S-so. The rumors are true? I thought that the boss said it WASN'T true!?" Johnny said, starting to freak out a little bit. "I mean, obviously this place was used as the base for a satanic cult and its rituals. How else do you explain the pentagram in the middle of the building?" Macy said back sarcastically. "Listen, we don't speak a word of this. To anyone. We'll just, cover it up. Paint over it and keep building. None of their rituals probably worked anyway" Macy said to Johnny, in hopes that this would calm him down a bit. "B-but. Why shouldn't we tell them? Isn't this, kind of important?" Johnny asked. He turned to Macy slowly. "It's not important if they don't know about it. Hand me the paint bucket." Macy said, starting to get a little exasperated with Johnny.

---------------------------------------------------------

"YAY! The set is finally done!" Wally exclaimed happily. "I-m glad we were just able to fit everything in the building and still have Home as the center of the building. It adds something I can't explain, the fact that Home is in the middle." Frank replied back. The eight of them decided that the shows message was going to be inclusivity. With Wally's character and house being in the middle since he was autistic but still really popular as an actor. The seven other cast members unanimously decided to have Wally as the main character because of this, even going so far as to put Wally's house in the very middle. Of course, Wally wasn't the only autistic one, Frank was also autistic, but Wally is a young, up-and-coming star. Everyone decided it would be important to show that you can be young, successful, and neurodivergent. Not that Frank was old, he was only 27, and Wally was 21.

Was. 

| Next |

[gryfflepuffinthetardis]

Zoe's Timeline (SPOILERS! DO NOT READ IF YOU WANT TO AVOID SPOILERS FOR MY VALENTÍA)

*I tried to keep certain things vague; Some years are different.*

*Some characters' birthdays are their actors' birthday just to establish it. A Tumblr post says that they mention Garcia was born in 1977 but in earlier seasons, she talks to Spencer in Tabula Rasa, saying "You're young. The eighties left a lot of people confused." She's referring to a gothy picture of high school Prentiss but that's not the point, the point is Garcia is implying to be a bit older than four years older than Spencer, and Morgan was born in 1974 which makes you think that she's around his age, so I just changed it to 1975 plus that's the same year that Adam Rodriguez was born.*

I am working my way back to the season twelve finale, I had finished only the first episode of the two parter but I went on vacation for my mom's birthday and when I tried to finish the second part, my car DVD player stopped working and I'm the sort of person who will avoid big change in TV shows, it took me a full year to even start the final season of Parks and Recreation and I don't want to see how Spencer changes so I procrastonate my procrastination (watching Criminal Minds instead of doing other things) Anyways, but I tried to keep major characters involved. You know Alex Blake, Kate Callahan, Stephen Walker, Tara Lewis and I know in season thirteen Matt Simmons joins the team. I'm hesitant to watch Evolution because Spencer's not in it but there's still hope he'll come back, though last year I did meet Matthew Gray Gubler in New York in that car he was driving with a giant green hand and we chased him down to a stop light and he gave me a free copy of his book that we later saw at the New York bookstore we always go to as being thirty bucks.*

Warning: Spoilers, Mention of a character being dishonorably discharged from Chemical Corps which implies darker things, Stillborn baby; Pregnant woman in distress; Woman dies while pregnant (baby survives though); Baby is diagnosed with heart defect; Four-year-old has heart difficulties after being abused; Child death; Teenager commits suicide; Twelve-year-old is kidnapped and attacked by a serial killer; Serial killer has fascination with twelve-year-old; Teenagers get kidnapped)

This may be under constant construction and dates may slip and slide. (There should be a larger time gap between Zoe's rescue in early 2005 and her hiring of the BAU but this was so time-consuming, and then I changed Zarah's name from Callie and I had already had it in my drafts, so I had to redo it, and there are things in here that I'm not all too confident about and I feel that the hinting at a big reveal is too on the nose and obvious.)

1940 — Max Ryan is born

1942 — Cain Noble is born

1945 — Alastriona Ophelia Kenzie is born in Scotland

June 1, 1955 — Jason Gideon is born

May 9, 1956 — David Stephen Rossi is born

August 19, 1962 — Zelena Valdez is born

1963 — Alastriona Kenzie comes to America, Virginia

Before September 29. 1964 — Alastronia Kenzie married Cain Noble and Cain Noble goes off to fight in the Vietnam War in the Chemical Corps soon to be dishonorably discharged for desertion.

Before September 29. 1964 — Cain Noble goes off to fight in the Vietnam War in the Chemical Corps soon to be dishonorably discharged for desertion.

September 29, 1964 — Alexander Noble is born to American Veteran Cain Noble and Scottish (technical immigrant) Alastriona Ophelia Noble

November 2, 1967 — Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner is born

1968 — Alex Blake is born.

June 10, 1968 — Alex Blake (formerly Miller) is born to Damon Miller and an unnamed mother

1968 — Cain Noble is dishonorably discharged for desertion.

Sometime 1970 — David Rossi illegally enlisted into the Vietnam War at age thirteen to fourteen. (Rossi doesn't really like to play by the rules, I guess? 🙄)

September 18, 1970 — Tara Elizabeth Lewis is born to Albert Lewis and her unnamed mother.

October 12, 1970 — Emily Prentiss is born to U.S. Ambassador, Elizabeth Katherine Prentiss and an unknown father

May 29, 1971 — Isobel Noble is born to American dishonorably discharged veteran Cain Noble and Scottish Alastriona Noble, younger sister to Alexander Noble

1972 — Gabriel Anthony Lewis is born to Albert Lewis and an unnamed mother, as the younger brother to Tara Lewis.

January 4, 1973 — Stephen Walker is born to unknown parents

January 25, 1973 — Mazikeen "Maze" Valdez is born

1974 — Rosalyn Jareau is born in East Allegheny, Pennsylvania to Sandy Jareau and an unnamed father

June 6, 1974 — Derek Morgan is born to Hank and Fran Morgan in Chicago

1975 — Penelope Garcia is born in San Francisco, California

April 2, 1975 — Luke Alvez is born in the Bronx borough of New York City, New York to unnamed parents

July 31, 1975 — Kalypso Valdez is born in Las Vegas, Nevada

June 24, 1977 — Elle Greenaway is born in Manhattan, New York to presumably American Robert Greenaway and an unnamed mother of Cuban descent

Sometime prior to 1978/1979 — Alastriona Noble (Alexander and Isobel's mother) dies

1978/1979 — Alexander Noble is forcably escorted to Somerville Military Academy due to his "fits" (Manic-Depression/Bipolar episodes)

1979 — Alexander Noble escapes from Somerville Military Academy and shortly after he and Isobel run away from Cain Noble.

February 21, 1979 — Kate Callahan is born to unknown parents with a presumably older sister named Liz

November 28, 1979 — Matthew "Matt" Simmons is born in Carson City, Michigan to an unnamed Caucasian father and a Korean mother named Mi Young Simmons; however, due to his mixed ethnicity he was ostracized by his grandparents on his father's side.

1979 — Ciara Valdez is born to Elena Valdez and an unnamed man.

September 17, 1980 — William LaMontagne Junior is born to William LaMontagne Senior and an unnamed mother in New Orleans, Louisianna

November 22, 1980 — Jennifer “JJ” Jareau is born in East Allegheny, Pennsylvania to Sandy Jareau and an unnamed father as the younger sister to Rosalyn Jareau.

September 21, 1981 — Maeve Donovan is born to Mary and Joe Donovan

October 12, 1981 — Spencer Reid is born to Diana and William Reid in Vegas, Nevada

1983 — BAU is founded by David Rossi, Jason Gideon, Zelena Valdez, and Alexander Noble

1984 — Stephen Gideon is born to Jason Gideon named after Rossi's middle name; Carolyn and David Rossi’s son, James David Rossi dies during childbirth

Unspecified Date, 1985 — Robert Greenaway has a fight with his eight-year-old daughter, Elle Greenaway which ends with her telling him she hates him before he is called away and is killed in the line of duty.

Early 1985 — Some point in January, February, or March, Zelena Valdez realizes she’s pregnant and is required to go off her sleep apnea and PTSD medication to avoid any more risks of her babies being born with birth defects. Some point later, she started using a sleep apnea machine.

Around September and/or October — Zelena Valdez is ordered to stay at the BAU headquarters due to being so far into her pregnancy and she gets the case about a man killing pregnant women and their unborn babies in Virginia.

October 28, 1985 — Zarah Carina Noble-Valdez is born in Quantico, Virgina; Zelena, still in labor and the unborn Zoe are kidnapped by the same psychotic axe murderer Zelena had been chasing.

October 31, 1985 — Alexander finds Zelena and Zoe; Zelena dies from multiple axe wounds to the chest while the UnSub gets away; Xiomara "Zoe" Noble-Valdez is born due to a post-mortem C-section in Quantico, Virginia, initially as a stillborn due to the conditions but is successfully resuscitated but quickly diagnosed with a heart defect.

November 1, 1985 — Zoe is diagnosed with having transportation of the great arteries (TGA) A serious, rare heart problem in which the two main arteries carrying blood out of the heart are reversed, at most giving her a year to live without correction surgery.

November 7, 1985 — In Quantico, Virginia, At one week old, Zoe receives open-heart surgery for transposition of the great arteries (TGA) and survives to live a relatively “normal” life, although with possible heart failure problems later in life

November 7, 1985 — In Chicago, Derek Morgan's father, Hank Morgan is killed by a would-be robber in front of eleven-year-old Derek Morgan

1986 — David Rossi meets diplomat, Hayden Montgomery and after six months they get married.

1987 — Around late February to early-to-mid March of 1987. David Rossi and Hayden Montgomery get divorced, shortly after Hayden finds out she's pregnant with David Rossi's second child (see the year 1984 for first child). Hayden only relays this information to Alexander Noble which is overheard and understood by his one-year-old daughter Zoe Noble-Valdez who had by now developed the cognitive understanding of an eight-year-old with her high IQ and exceptional memory.

December 12, 1987 — Joy Montgomery is born and only Zoe and Alexander remain aware of her true father’s identity.

October 13, 1988 — Riley Jenkins is found dead in Las Vegas; Zoe and Zarah go to spend some time with Kalypso Valdez (who suffers from Schyzotypal Personality Disorder) and her family in Las Vegas; Two-year-old Zoe goes missing in park, presumably kidnapped, causing seven-year-old Kalypso to have a Schyzotypal psychotic break due to the immediate stress and fear during this traumatic experience; late that Zoe is found by Las Vegas local.

1989 — Alexander has no choice but to leave Zoe with his father for a month while Zarah gets treatments from the hospital; he returns to find his four-year-old daughter severely injured with her ribs broken and not breathing due to a heart failure and Cain is forbidden from ever being near her again.

1990 — Zoe and Zarah Noble-Valdez take the ACTs due to their high intelligence, Zoe additionally takes the CLT.

1991 — William Reid leaves Diana and Spencer Reid; Zoe meets Emily Prentiss through Maze Valdez and Alexander Noble; Zoe and Zarah start advanced dual college classes along with elementary.

1992 — Zoe and Zarah receive Criminology degrees at age seven

1992 — Seventeen-year-old Rosalyn Jareau gives eleven-year-old JJ her necklace; Eleven-year-old JJ finds seventeen-year-old Rosalyn Jareau in the bathtub, having committed suicide with her father’s razors, JJ freezes up for about ten minutes, unable or unwilling to comprehend what she’s seeing.

1992 — Alex Blake joins the FBI

1993 — Spencer Reid graduates from high school at age twelve

1993 — Zoe and Zarah receive Psychology degrees at age eight

1993 — Penelope Garcia sneaks out and her parents go out looking for her and they are hit and killed by a drunk driver.

1994 — Ethan Blake is born to Alex and James Blake

1995 — Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner joins the BAU; Hotch meets ten-year-old Zoe and Zarah

1995 — Zoe and Zarah receive Criminal Justice degrees at age ten

1996 — Zoe and Zarah receive forensic science and psychology science degrees at age eleven.

1997 — David Rossi retires; Zoe and Zarah receive abnormal psychology and sociology degrees at age twelve.

Late January to Early February 1998 — Hotch’s first case as Senior Agent in Boston

February 13, 1998 — Hotch’s serial killer intends for twelve-year-old Zoe to be his twenty-first kill but finds that she has no fear in her eyes which (disgustingly) fascinates and intrigues him. (Yeah, I know, gross, but if you know who I’m talking about he’s a sick guy, basically it's an even creepier meeting of Crazy Jane and Frank, only illegal, disgusting, and one-sided; Also I think he only killed twenty before making the deal.)

February 13-18, 1998 — Twelve-year-old Zoe is held captive by the serial killer, her five-day absense is relatively unnoticed by the BAU on account of Alexander lying for the safety of his daughter’s return. Zoe is found outside of a Boston hospital with deep knife wounds (not stab wounds), bruises, broken bones, and drugs in her system. Alexander somehow manages to keep her injuries secret from the BAU.

March 1998 (Six weeks after the “deal with the devil” was made) — Zoe Noble-Valdez has weekly therapy sessions with Karl Arnold who she sasses and profiles constantly before deciding she doesn’t like the vibe she gets off of Karl Arnold.

1998 — Zoe and Zarah receive physical science and counseling degrees at age thirteen; Zoe also receives a nursing degree, intending to be the medical doctor on the team.

November 1998 — Zoe Noble-Valdez makes her first kill in self-defense for her sister.

December 15, 1998 — Tracy Belle is born in Texas

1999 — Zoe receives computer science and physics degrees at age fourteen. Zarah receives human services and arts and humanities degrees at age fourteen.

2000 — Zoe receives toxicology, pharmacology, and chemistry degree.  Zarah receives an anthropology degree at age fifteen.

Sometime after October 12, 2000 — Now eighteen and eligible to pursue his career in the FBI, Spencer Reid, knowing that without him his mother, Diana Reid wouldn't be able to take care of herself, admits her to a mental institution, Bennington Sanitarium.

October 28, 2000 — Zarah Noble-Valdez has her Quinceañera (Fifteenth Birthday)

October 31, 2000 — Zoe Noble-Valdez has her Quinceañera (Fifteenth Birthday)

Autumn, 2000 — Zoe starts Harvard Medical School and meets fellow schoolmate, Maeve Donovan, working to get her PhD in genetics.

February 13, 2001 — Zoe and Zarah Noble-Valdez are kidnapped.

February 14, 2001 — Zoe and Zarah Noble-Valdez are separated.

October 15, 2001 — Zoe Noble-Valdez manages to escape with no memory of how. Zoe is reunited with Alexander Noble but refuses to go to the BAU .

Late 2001/Early 2002 — Derek Morgan is recruited by the BAU (Doesn't meet Zoe due to her being busy getting her degrees, finishing school, and medical school and by request is not named to avoid later accusations of nepotism)

March, 2002 — Zoe gets a biology, biochemistry, chemistry, and neurobiology degrees.

June 3, 2002 — Zoe finishes high school, has a psychotic break due to grief, guilt, and  seven months of rumors about what happened to Zarah and bullying; Zoe gets degrees in computer science, behavioral science, philosophy, and pharmacology degrees, starting to over-over achieve to distract herself, all at age sixteen

September 1, 2002 — Zoe starts medical school

Before September 11, 2001 — Meg Callahan is born to Kate Callahan’s sister, Liz and her brother-in-law.

September 11, 2001 — Kate Callahan's sister and brother-in-law, Liz and Joe tragically die among hundreds of others during 9/11

2002 — Spencer Reid joins the FBI at age twenty (three years before the normal age qualification)

2003 — Ethan Blake is diagnosed with an unknown illness and tragically dies

April, 2003 — Zoe gets toxicology, neuroscience, engineering, and neurology degrees

June 5, 2003 — Zoe finishes medical school

August 5, 2003 — Zoe starts FBI training

September 16, 2003 — Zoe completes FBI training fourteen weeks early.

October 1, 2003 — Zoe starts working with various mentors (before finally landing a year and a half mentorship with her own cousin, Makenzie "Maze" Valdez, mostly in Europe and the  U.K.; occasionally in Italy where Zoe is reunited with Emily Prentiss under the alias of Lauren Reynolds.

2004 — Penelope Garcia is recruited by the BAU for her coding skills as an alternative to jail time for hacking; Spencer Reid is recruited to the BAU at the age of twenty-two/twenty-three.

2004 — The Blue Ridge Killer plummets off a roof and hits his head, somehow surviving but in a coma. (Also, you’d think Gideon would be there or they could’ve placed it during Gideon’s six month medical leave)

August 14, 2004 — Zoe is kidnapped by terrorists and tortured by a prison front for terrorists.

2004-2005 — JJ is recruited as the media liaison for the BAU

February 13, 2005 — Zoe is rescued from corrupt prison by Maze resulting in most of the corrupt guards/terrorists being brutally murdered

April 3, 2005 — Jason Gideon goes on medical leave; Hotch is promoted to unit chief

April 13, 2005 — Zoe interviews for the BAU by Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner, newly promoted to Unit Chief after Gideon's medical leave of absence; Zoe meets Spencer Reid and impresses him with her intellect

April 3, 2005 — Jason Gideon goes on medical leave for six months; Hotch is promoted to unit chief.

April 13, 2005 — Zoe Noble-Valdez interviews for the BAU with Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner.

May 1, 2005 — Zoe's first day at the BAU; Zoe meets Spencer Reid for the first time a second time.

September 2005 — Jason Gideon returns from medical leave, now as Senior Supervisory Special Agent

—————————————————————————

Edited October 7, 2024

Notes (Colored merely to show they're different notes from the ones before): Alexander Noble’s birthday — September 29 — It's been a while since I wrote this down so I googled David Tennant september 29 and what came up was that the first episode of Season two of the revival of Doctor Who, called "New Earth" aired which was the first episdoe where David Tennant could really be the Doctor for the full episode as he was in a coma for most of "Christmas Invasion". Isobel Noble's birthday — May 29 — The day Karen Gillan was announced by portray Amelia “Amy” Pond in Doctor Who Mazikeen “Maze” Valdez's birthday — January 25 — In the season three episode of Lucifer, The City of Angels? It takes place on January 25, 2011 and it’s about Lucifer’s first days on Earth of his “vacation” of eternity of ruling Hell (or at least according to the Lucifer Timeline page on Lucifer Wikia (too lazy to watch the full episode and keep an eye out to see if the date is mentioned and I multitask too much to) For Will LaMontagne's birthday, I wanted to be a bit more original than just using the actor, Josh Stewart's birthday, plus he was born in 1977 which would make him several years older than JJ, I wanted their ages to be more similar but, since Will was introduced in "Jones" with an Unsub copying Jack the Ripper, I used the alleged date that sources claim a letter first used the term "Jack the Ripper" I feel like it's worse that Emily and Spencer have the same birthday—October twelfth—yet they still forget his thirtieth birthday and it's not like they had never celebrated it before. They celebrated it in the fourth episode of the whole series! If I were them, I would just feel like the worst friends because presumably Spencer's mother who often didn't know what day of the week it was, dismissed her doctor's suggestions (because "he's a Neanderthal"), and once had a schizophrenic episode so bad she didn't notice her son had been missing for a whole night when he was tied to the school field due to some horrible bullies, you can assume he didn't get to celebrate his birthday too much after his dad left when he was ten. I would just fee like the worst friend ever.

Maeve Donovan's birthday — September 21 — Maeve's birthday is the date that psychologist and behavior geneticist, Kathryn Paige Harden's book, The Genetic Lottery: Why DNA Matters For Social Equality was published, plus September was the month that "The Narrative of John Smith" was published. (I was going to use July 19 after the birthdate of Nancy Wexler who learned a Ph.D. in Psychology but chose to instead work in the field of genetics. I don't really know who either of these women are though, I don't really understand genetics like I do psychology—Ironic since just last semester I took a class called "Developmental psychology" or not ironic at all (Developmental psychology is pretty much about psychology as we grow and the psychological concepts that we go through and the bonds we form) but I tried to find a woman who had work in both fields of genetics and psychology. I did find a geneticist and psychologist named Robert Joseph Plomin and Gregor Mendel who I KNOW was in my developmental psychology class, despite him seeming to be firmly in the world of genetics with some overlap in psychology but I don't want to sign into my school account, it's whole ordeal and they make it so overly complicated (for privacy reasons but still, it's annoying. I can appreciate something and still find it annoying) but I wanted a female geneticist and I wanted some more options than just Nancy Wexler, I find birthdays that are like after August easier to keep track of, maybe because my birthday is in October which is in that range and I have a math learning disorder and I overthink things because I am terrified of accidentally offending someone. But I chose the publication date because I couldn’t find Kathyrn Paige Haden’s birthday

[dracimexidae]

I was tagged by @sirtadcooper - thank you!! 😃

Tag someone you want to know AND/OR some of your besties.

(mandatory under the cut because I'm an idiot who can't keep it short to save her life 😅)

Favourite colour: this is an easy one, I'm in an established relationship and still madly in love after so many years with practically every shade of violet/purple that exists! 💜 Maybe I'm slightly more drawn to colder hues, but I'm not really that picky when it comes to this family of colours!

(This is a picture of a portion of wall in my bedroom I have asked to be painted with this shade of violet - which is a bit darker in reality but y' know, artificial light, that corner is way too dark to photograph otherwise... the whole room has various hues of purple scattered around: curtains, decorations, blankets, pillows... here's a special appearance of my beautiful boat lamp! ⛵💕)

Last song: thanks to a suggestion from Youtube, which probably hates me, because I'm still recovering from a flu and generally weak so it would be wise to avoid any kind of unneccessary emotional outburst:

Not technically a song, but still... I'm not sure if I was crying while watching this because I haven't had the chance to listen to them live yet, since they made a European tour twice but never touched my country and I couldn't travel abroad to see them, or because of... whatever it is that is going on with this performance and these artists, "epicness" to me barely covers it, I know I'm exaggerating but that's how much I love Two Steps From Hell, what can I say... In any case here I am being even more of a mess than I already am, you'd think I have had enough of using handkerchiefs these days! 😭❤️‍🔥

Last movie: I think it was Imagine me & you, which I finally watched after seeing a lot about it here (unpopular opinion no one asked for, I thought I would have enjoyed it more... ☹️)... It was either that or Bros (which I actually enjoyed it more than I expected instead 😁), at the moment I don't remember exactly which came last...

Currently watching: Fellow Travelers as for new shows (fuck me, seriously, what am I doing to myself 😭 - I'm crying quite a bit in this post 😅), rewatching Blackadder after having finished A bit of Fry and Laurie 😆, and sports as well, mainly tennis, padel and basketball atm!

Other stuff I watched this year: Oh my, I didn't watch an awful lot of things, but I'll surely forget something - I'm terrible remembering this kind of stuff (if only it was just these things 😅)! Let's see, in no particular order, I can recall Minx (so far this year the most pleasant surprise in terms of TV series I've watched for the first time, silly [affectionate] little show), Wednesday (it was a bit meh for me, not sure if I'll watch next season), Red, white & royal blue (likely one of my favourite movies this year ❤️... yeah, it's not certainly a big deal of a movie ofc and I'm not even a rom com gal, especially for those Hallmark style movies, like this kinda is, but idk, it was cute and warm and brought good feelings and probably I watched it in the right moment for me, or one on which I just needed good vibes, what can I say), Call me by your name (even more than watching the movie reading the book was... quite an experience - I'm not saying it an entirely bad way, but I'm still so utterly confused about my feelings about this novel), What's love, The kissing booth (don't ask me about this one, the things I do to watch an actor I like 😅 - there's a whole trilogy of it but I only watched the two movies that had in the cast the actor I was interested in, really can't be bothered to do more than that, it was enough suffering I endured 🤣), Only murders in the building, The witcher, National treasure: edge of history (I don't care what anyone says, this show deserved at least another season, it was far from perfect but there has been way worse that still sticks around, and I'm speaking as a fan of the movies foremost, especially the first one, which is one of my comfort movies, as absurd and silly as it is 😊), Shadow and bone, The witcher (as for these, I'll probably keep watching an eventual next season only for some of the cast, because both were an utter disappointment and I wouldn't bother continuing otherwise), let's see, what else, oh yeah, Smiley (this was another nice show tbh, and in this case I could also train my ear a bit on the language since it's in Spanish and I'm trying to learn and improve it 😝) and two other Spanish shows (guilty again for watching mainly for an actor I wanted to see ah ehm), Merlì/Merlì: Sapere Aude and Alguien tiene que morir, and Érase una vez… pero ya no, all pretty much forgettable... I don't know what else, probably there is something more, but I'm making it lenghty already, I should stop anyway!

Shows I dropped this year/didn’t finish: damn, I should make a sheet about tv/movies as I do with books, it's honestly hard remembering what I watched or dropped! I can recall not going through the second episode of Warrior nun: again, another show I was curious about having seen things here on Tumblr, but I didn't feel it after the first episode, I'm not even sure exactly why - it's possible I'll try again someday, it's way too early to have an opinion after only one episode! I also didn't finish Lockwood & co., this one wasn't really for me tbh... I'm not even mentioning something I've been watching only and exclusively because it's a sort of joke I have with a friend of mine... All right, I'll say, it's High School Musical: The musical - the series 😅 Truth is, my friend likes the movies and low key also the series, whereas I hate them all, and she knows they piss me off and she has fun hearing my comments and teasing me about it... I have a bit less fun submitting myself to this "torture" but whatever! 🤣 I try to watch the series when I'm particularly willing to waste my time, because the only reason I'm doing it is to have a laugh with said friend, anyway rn I'm at the last season and it's so bad, sooooooo bad (mind you, meaning it's just not for me, I'm likely too old and too millennial to watch this kind of shows anymore), I don't know how I am supposed to endure any more of it lol!! I guess at some point I'll force myself to finish it to end my suffering and hoping my friend and I will finally close this questionable chapter of our watching experience, but damn it's hard! 😝 As for shows of which I completed a season but didn't watch the next, I could say one was Abbott Elementary: pretty bummed about it because it was actually cute and was enjoying it, I finished the first season when the second didn't air yet and when it did, I had moved on and lost interest a bit and wasn't in the mood to continue my watching (happens to me a lot)... I think at some point I will resume this one, just have to find the right inspiration! 😛 (I'm rather complicated and picky about my watching/reading experience in general, ops) And I have to mention as well, even if it will surely grant me some disapproval from the person who tagged me in this game 😆, I couldn't pick up Our flag means death after the first season as well, and for now I don't think I will resume it: I didn't really feel this show, I don't know what to say... 🤷 Should I mention that I also tried rewatching The Terror but I was like "oh hell no!" after the first episode?! 😅 In my defense I watched it at night, and the show is A LOT and nearly killed me the first time, yeah ok I'm making excuses but I have to be in a certain state of mind to watch certain things and The Terror is one of those cases - I already mentioned I'm complicated with my watching experience, yes?! 😜 Anyway it was a rewatch so it shouldn't count sssshhhh 🤫😁

Currently reading: more like, the books I've put on hold atm, ouch! True that this year, especially in the first half, I've read way more than I expected and definitely way more than I usually do, but that's not an excuse to make a pause - still, I'm realizing that it's been few weeks since I've picked up my readings! Anyway, what I've been reading is Mercanti avventurieri by Attilio Brilli, which collects stories about merchants and their travels and trades through the centuries; Columbus by Lawrence Bergreen, the account of Cristoforo Colombo's voyages in America - not happy enough of ending up horrified and outraged by the chronicle of Magellano's expedition (by the story and events, not the author's writing, which I actually appreciated a lot), I decided to educate myself more about another so called "pioneer" who thanks to his hubris committed terrible atrocities in the name of "progress" and "religion" and "civilization" and so on 😡 , since the little knowledge I have about Colombo comes mainly from my years at school... Despite the fact that my respect for this man is nowhere to be seen, I'm still somehow fascinated by the narration of sea voyages, which in the end are actually my main interest when reading this kind of stories; Atlante delle fortune di mare di Cyril Hofstein, an account of tales about (mis)fortunes at sea, involving incidents, lost treasures, mysterious events, discoveries, disappearances, disasters and so forth - btw, in the book there is this particular chapter:

The disappearance of the Erebus and Terror is the title - the real story is terrifying enough even without creating a fictional horror show inspired by it jfc!

And lastly, this is definitely the less "serious" reading, The Lawrence Browne affair by Cat Sebastian, one of my first attempts at reading "proper" (meaning they're not fanfictions, not that I don't consider those "proper" literature, on the contrary many of them are written far better than some published books I've read, so yeah, I should say "published" instead) erotic novels lmao 😝 This was a whim really, I felt I wanted to read something light, "wicked" and not to be taken seriously (it also was probably some sort of "knee-jerk reaction" to many of the queer books I read this year, which were sad, depressing and/or tragic 😔)! Romance novels are not really my jam in general, but every once in a while they don't hurt, since I'm doing it just for fun! This one is actually the second book of a trilogy, more disappointing than the first book I have to say, which was more "juicy" and entertaining! 😁

Currently listening to: ah, this is a tough one to pinpoint, because lately my Spotify is on shuffle most of the time (I have a folder literally called "Miscellanea" that keeps a bit of everything, it's a glorious mess lol), and my music preferences are rather varied... Let's say that if I have to consciously choose something at the moment, there would certainly be Poets of the Fall, Gaelic Storm, The Irish Rovers, Santiano (in general celtic folk/punk songs, especially if inspired by sea and sailors stories- those are good for all seasons 🥰), Two Steps From Hell, J2 and "epic music" in general, and dance-pop music from '70 to '00, original or remixes, especially when I work out in the last case!

Currently working on: do crosswords count? It's my newest pursuit lol 😆 Because otherwise I'm afraid I'm not working on anything in particular at the moment (and I should start, since I had a couple of ideas for gifts for Christmas that alas, have to be handcrafted in order to be created, and if I want to have them done I am the one who must work on them, ugh can you believe it, outrageous, what has the world come to 😂)... I occasionally do a bit of calligraphy, create costume jewellery or create little macramè things, again usually trinkets but this summer I bought thicker yarns so I could have a go at something a little bigger like coin purses, wallets and little bags, and all in all it didn't go that bad:

The problem is, at least with the purses, that with these dimensions I can't fit half the things I usually bring with me when I go out because "you never know what might happen I might need this thing", so these purses were more like first tries and will likely not be used by me very much because they are too small for my necessities! 😅 In any case, I had to put this activity on hold for a bit because I lacked some time to dedicate myself to it!

Oh, wait, does trying to repair a porcelain ornament that fell on the floor (not because of me, I want to clarify, for once that I don't accidentally bump into stuff and make a mess - which happens more often than I'd like 😅) count? Hardly but whatever, anyway it's going to be complicated to glue the pieces back, some have shattered in such tiny fragments, sigh...

Current obsession: I'm almost shocked to report that at the current moment no particular obsession has consumed my every waking hour 🤣 I mean, even the flame of padel, which I've been following almost religiously all year, has dimmed a little, but it is the end of the season/year, everyone is tired and so am I apparently, rooting for couples who almost never have significant results (story of my life lol), so I guess I'm recharging the batteries for another round of hopeless cheer next year, yay! 🥳 For the rest, in terms of media I believe there is nothing of significance to report in terms of proper "obsession" for the time being, so yeah, that's it 😌 (the times of Black Sails or even Agents of SHIELD are far behind me, I miss being that "obsessed" tbh ☹️)

Tagging @thelifeinmyshadesofgrey , @whitestnoise , @lives-ruined-and-bloodshed, @valentinaonthemoon , @mednay , @tirairgid (ofc if you want to and haven't done it before) and whoever wants to give it a go really!

[dark-elf-writes]

ROUND TWO! It is still technically tomorrow so yeah.... 😁

-(Remus. Safety. A port in the storm while everything shattered around him.)

Oh honey, hugs all of the hugs. This whole passage is fucking beautiful. The moment of Harry realizing Shouta is testing him and appreciating it. Recognizing where the adults in his life failed him and seeing that the man in front of him won't fail his students in the ways Harry was failed. AAAHHHH

-(Dark eyes looked him up and down. “Take ten. No need to traumatize them by throwing a zombie at their feet.” 

Harry scoffed, edging around Shouta to open the door he hadn’t bothered locking (anyone who could break into UA and get past all of the staff to a top floor flat and could get around Bill’s wards deserved to steal his shit honestly) and shooting the man a rather unimpressed look even as he nodded for him to follow. “I know damn well you own a mirror being married to Yamada so the only other options are you’re blind and just a very good actor or you’re so deep in denial you truly believe you don’t look worse than I do and I’ve literally died four times.”)

AAHAHAHAHUENJDSAKGNR CALL HIM OUT! but for real I love this. We see sassy Harry and Shouta, sir, pot kettle. ahahaha

-(Twenty teenagers looked back at him, eyes bright with suspicion as they shifted their stances to cover the little girl in their midst. The little girl who had no problem popping her head around a massive shoulder to beam at Harry and Shouta as they approached. 

“Hi, Harry-san!” The white haired girl waved. “Did you bring more cookies?”)

Leave it to the tiny human to relieve the tension of the room. And sassing Bakugou to boot. Love it.

-(With a shriek of laughter Eri launched herself from the green haired kid’s back and wormed her way between the protective gathering of teenagers to collide with Harry’s leg, going up on her toes to check the container. “Where’s Teddy?”

“With Weasley-Sensei. If your dad is okay with it you can come over for dinner tonight to see them.” 

She didn’t so much as look at Shouta. “Dad says yes.”)

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 THIS SWEET HILARIOUS CHILD! I CAN'T SHE MUST BE PROTECTED AT ALL COSTS! The only thing that would have made this better is if Hizashi had been present to witness it.

-(This time, Harry did smile, letting every shattered piece of himself show in the lopsided lift of his lips. Let them see the boy he was: fifteen and so fucking angry at the unfairness of everything, sixteen and terrified of the monsters that lurked around every corner, seventeen and tired down to his very bones. Let them see the reflection looking back at them. 

One child soldier to twenty. )

god fucking damn the absolute beauty in the writing here. dsjabcim I'm speechless. 10000000000/10

-(“You look like a fucking fetus.” Bakugou hissed. “How the hell can you be a Top Ten?” )

Cackling at this. Just the phrasing. Hit me right in the funny bone for some reason🤣🤣

-(“Dormant.” At the kid’s surprised blink, Harry shrugged. “I have a no slur policy when it comes to my students. That includes against themselves.” Which had been developed the exact moment Aoyama hissed the word. Not that Harry was going to tell them that. )

Yup good policy, timing don't matter. Nope not at all.

-(they are in my top five most terrifying sisters)

Who's number one? Ginny or Hermione because I feel like that could go either way lmfao

-THE ENTIRE END NOTE OF CHAPTER SEVEN HAD ME LAUGHING TO TEARS

-(“Welcome to the world, cub,” Harry breathed, pulling back to press a kiss to Teddy’s temple. “You hungry?” 

Teddy let out a jaw cracking yawn, rubbing at their eyes with the back of their hands, and blinked at him uncomprehendingly. After a second, they nodded. )

AAAAWWEWW The mental picture of sleepy little Teddy is just javirughdxkwiaiurytlh;iwo I CAN'T

-(Harry shrugged. “Bragging rights, mostly. I’m in a new country at a new job with very little of my reputation carrying over and only to a select few people who already knew about me anyway. All of you are the next generation of heroes and will more than likely make up a second chunk of the Top Fifty in the next few years. I need something to prove to my kid that I’m still cool when they inevitably decide one of you is their second favorite hero.” 

Disbelieving eyes came from all around the room. Well, except for Asui and Sero. As the two with the most experience with young children, there was not so much as a flicker of doubt in their eyes that street cred with a seven year old was Harry primary motivation. Harry smiled back  at all of them, unrepentant. )

Believe him guys. Believe him. 🤣🤣🤣And he's not wrong, room full of the future? He doesn't stand a chance at being his kid's favorite if he doesn't work for it🤣🤣🤣🤣

-(“If your ghosts try to convince you that dying is fun, just know that they are liars and it absolutely is not.” 

______

From the moment they had first met their new sensei, Izuku had been pretty sure that he was, on some level, completely fucking insane. )

THE PLACEMENT OF THESE SENTENCES IS FUCKING PERFECT👩‍🍳💋 🤣🤣🤣

-(One singularity recognizing another. )

I'm going to keep sounding like a god damn broken record but this entire passage is fucking poetry. Like fucking hell, 'it was more than their shared green eyes. more than the bruised eyes and too thin cheeks. more than the massive scar that took up half of the man's face that seem to glow with an eerie green light." jdfaiuhganfvjfdkalghr Fucking master of words you are.

-(“ Excuse me? ” First hissed, materializing at Izukums shoulder with the same pissed off cat expression he had given Second after he broke Izuku’s laptop during movie night. 

“You’re excused.” Potter-sensei shrugged. Shrugged. Like dealing with angry ghosts was normal for him. )

ahshasjiafownejwlafnuju SASSY HARRY!!!!!

-Okay death calling Harry a disaster twink in the end note completes my entire existence.

-(There was a snort and Harry lifted his head enough to see an unmasked Snipe grinning at the two of them. “Ah yes, the first day ‘how did my teachers ever put up with me’ guilt. Bright side, you didn’t have a single broken bone in your class and there was no Nezu level threat against humanity as a whole so y’all did a damn good job.” 

“The bar is so low,” Hermione whispered in horror, setting Harry off in half hysterical giggles.)

Nezu level threat is the most terrifying thing to happen on a teacher's first day, bar none. nothing else. nope.

-(Harry blinked. “Since when are you on a first name basis with Aoyama?”

“Like two minutes ago, dad, keep up. They’re Aunt Fleur’s cousin and that makes us cousins so Yuuga is family and last names with family is weird unless it’s for a joke.” He didn’t have to look to know there was a duh expression on Teddy’s face,

“Did you ask Aoyama if you can use their first name, or did you assume?” Teddy’s silence was the only answer Harry needed. “Teddy—.”

point two seconds later

“Can I call you Yuuga because we’re cousins?” 

Teddy turned back to Harry, still wearing Aoyama’s face, and pointed at the teen over their shoulder. “See. Cousin.”)

KIDS ARE A GODDAMN MENACE AND I'M FUCKING LIVING FOR IT

-(A familiar snort had them turning to see a grinning Hizashi leaning over the back of the couch where Shouta was attempting to appear asleep. It would have been more convincing if the man wasn’t grinning into his sleeping bag. “That’s just parenting. If it helps, they can keep up with Eri so I highly doubt Teddy is going to cause too much damage.” 

They were probably right, but…

“Doesn’t one of those kids have shark teeth?”

“ Fuck.” )

Crying laughing oh my fucking god yes this is perfect

-There is something so special about how this moment between Nemuri and Hermione is written. True connection, not unnatural, just two women who have fought to protect their families and came out scarred and hurting relating and commiserating, stunning writing.

-(“If you stretched more, you could do it too.” Harry pointed out, slowly rising out of the stretch before bending backwards, more to annoy his brother than out of any real need for the stretch. His palms hit the mat behind him as he held the back bend without too much effort. 

Ron shuddered. “That’s horrifying to watch have I ever told you that?”

Harry took a few too-quick shuffle-crawl steps towards him, just to make Ron lurch back with a shriek. The shorter man hit the mat a second later, laughing too hard to keep himself up. )

NOT THE HORROR MOVIE IMPRESSION ahahahahahahahhahahahah

-(In the ring, Hermione missed the leg sweep sent from Hizashi and hit the mats hard. It didn’t seem to stop her as she turned to gape at him. 

“Harry James Potter are you telling me you saw Tom Riddles’ penis?” 

“No I’m telling Ron, Shouta, and Kayama. You just happened to be eavesdropping.” )

CACKLING!!!!!!!!!

-(Honestly, there were worse ways to go rather than being murdered by a beautiful woman. )

Glory, Glory, what a helluva way to die!

-Shouta totally handed Ron his own ass, repeatedly and with glee

This is seven through nine! I'll be doing more tomorrow! I totally love this and want to keep going. I'm also interested in doing this with some of your other fics and maybe some tagged aus on here? if you're okay with it?

I’m loving this so much it’s such a delight to see all the parts you enjoy if you want to do it with other fics/aus as well I’m totally down just be aware that I will probably tell you that I love you platonically more than once.

[kattahj]

Me bitching about Last Twilight again

Trying to verbalise why Last Twilight is losing me, beyond what I said last week, because when it started, I could barely stand to wait to watch until I had stopped working, and now it takes me days to finish an episode. At this point, the main reason I intend to watch the rest of the show is that there are only two episodes left.

The first phrase that came to mind is, "This show is lying to me." Which is ridiculous. Of course it is! That's what fiction does! And there's fiction that cheerfully and deliberately feeds you the most outrageous nonsense and makes you go along with it.

But there's also fiction that tells you, "This is a genuine human emotion." And even though you KNOW you're watching actors, you believe it.

Last Twilight is telling me "This is a genuine human emotion," but I DON'T believe it, particularly because it's terrified of actually giving me any complexity.

The introduction of Day's dad last week (or, well, technically the week before) was a particularly blatant example. Nothing about those interactions felt real. It wasn't even really about Day's dad at all; it was a way for Day to sort out his feelings about Night. And now they're all sorted out and Day forgives Night, who doesn't get to verbalize his own feelings about the accident in the slightest (though Mark Pakin does his best with a minute of facial journey), because this part of the storyline is over now.

Mhok was always more of a boy scout with an image problem than an actual bad boy, but by now, all of his issues are sorted out or brushed aside, because obviously he can't get to be the one to need support, ever. Everything is about Day, which is unfortunate, because Sea isn't a strong enough actor to carry the show. Especially not since the only thing about Day is his blindness, and of course the romance.

Which, I'm sorry, but the romance lost me on that mountain top. I know a lot of people liked it, but it was such contrived sentimental tripe for Day to lose the last of his vision at the most romantically meaningful moment. Plus, like I said before, I don't buy these two as lovers.

(Sidenote: Even though Moonlight Chicken was a better show, I wasn't entirely happy about how Heart only existed when Li Ming was there. So shouldn't I be happy that Day gets more scenes with several people? But I guess what I'm looking for is balance, and reciprocity, each of the characters in the romantic couple being there for the other. I think, though it isn't my favourite in other ways, A Tale of Thousand Stars actually dealt with that better. And both ATOTS and MLC let their disabled characters have more facets to their characterisation.)

(Though really, when it comes to disability exploration in the QLs I've seen, Sleep With Me is where it's at.)

Originally, I was happy about Aon's inclusion as a blind guy who has his shit together, but as it turns out, that's ALL he is. His entire job in this show is to happily show "cool things you can still do while blind". That's not characterisation, it's a rehabilitation pep talk in human form.

Day's mom got to break out of her frown for five minutes. Really, for most of the show, you could just have stapled a picture of her on the wall with the words "Don't do that!" written on it, and cut to it intermittently, and it would have accomplished the same thing. I guess it's good she got to vary her routine a little, but I wouldn't exactly call it nuanced, yet.

Porjai… I don't want to be too harsh on Porjai. She's okay. But she's a side character, and as such, gets tugged along into whatever she needs to be for the other characters.

The final couple of episodes will determine how I feel about the whole thing. Especially now that we're getting the transplant. If the surgery fails, or is only partially successful, and depending on how that is handled, I'll probably still give the show a passing grade. But if we get last-minute healing, I'm done.

At least that disgusting rumour about Mhok dying and leaving his eyes to Day can finally be put to rest.