#i take care of all the outdoor stuff and they do the indoor stuff

[boopsloop363]

Why don't you think women should be allowed to vote? One of the first things women voted for was raising the age of consent (Delaware iirc)

Same reason they shouldn't serve in the military or be cops. It is shameful of men to let women engage in acts that debase them or put them in harms way. They shouldn't have to worry about stuff like politics or 9-5's because their jobs are far more important than anything men could ever do

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not putting a bell on my cat?

Cw for discussion of animal death and injury in vague terms.

So I live in a neighborhood with a lot of stray/outdoor cats. In fact, it's sorta that way all over the city. A few weeks ago as of writing this, I picked up a stray because I saw that it had an open wound on its neck; since it was amicable to being handled I decided to take it to the vet to be treated (and neutered, since I'd already gotten hold of it and obviously we don't need more strays.)

Recently, my cat of 15 years (we had him for 15 years, he was about 17-18 though) passed of old age, so I wasn't expecting my family to be willing to take a new cat in so soon. We even still have most of his stuff, so I figured it would be a matter of keeping the stray indoors until it was healed, then letting him go about his business. We all ended up getting attached over his two weeks of recovery though (if anyone is curious, it was a burst absess. While he was there we got him vaccinated and checked for other problems. Aside from ear mites, he was fine) so we got him a microchip, named him, and that was that.

My previous cat was also a rescue, though we picked him up from a shelter. At the time we also had a dog and a dog door, so keeping him inside would have been a logistical struggle we just... didn't care to bother with. By the time the dog passed, he'd had access to the outside for years and we saw no reason to suddenly cut him off from that. We obviously had to keep this new cat completely inside while his staples were in, but the plan was always to open up the dog door once he was healed and let him decide where he wanted to be. I don't like taking care of a litter box, my dad doesn't like the smell of cat, 3/4ths of the house is allergic (though that didn't stop us before), and this cat is much younger than our previous was, and has much more energy (vet estimated him at 6mo-1yr). At the beginning of last week (again, as of writing this) I got the go-ahead from the vet to let him outside and gladly did so. He hasn't gotten the hang of the dog door yet (our previous had the advantage of watching the dog go through to learn how to do it) but will go through open doors/windows and will return to the door or enter through the window if it's still open.

With context out of the way here comes the trouble: our neighbors. Our house is on the corner of the block and to our left is a house that takes tenants every so often. They've been here for as long as I (22m) have been alive and have been a nucance for probably longer than that. Their yard is atrocious, they planted bamboo that grew under the fence and into our property, and the woman who owns the house (presumably. Her husband might but I've never spoken to him) apparently has some moral issue with outdoor cats.

Sometime into owning our previous cat, she suddenly became very concerned with the bird population and insisted that we collar our cat and get him a bell so that he wouldn't catch birds. I'd like to point three things out: 1) our previous cat only had one eye, 2) we had tried to collar him before and he lost every single one so we gave up (breakaway collars so he didn't choke, 3) he caught birds despite both of these facts. Needless to say, I was not fucking thrilled about unsolicited advice from a woman I'd never spoken to, who let her unmitigated mess of invasive plants invade my garden, but whatever. She spoke to my little (10yro) sister about it at the time, only once, and never to me, so it wasn't an issue.

So I let this new cat out, right? I opened the dog door for him and he waltzed right on out, but I wasn't convinced he really knew how to operate it. About an hour or so without hearing him come in, I head through the back door to look for him. I got him from a different neighborhood, across town, while visiting a friend, so I figured I was allowed to be a little worried about him getting lost or overwhelmed. As soon as I step out onto the porch, the neighbor-lady calls over and asks me if my cat got out or I let it out.

I tell her I let him out. She asks me to put a bell on him. In an attempt to remain civil I ask her why. She says something about it being stupid, I ask her why it's stupid, she says cats eat birds and the bird populations are declining. I instantly want to call bull on cats being a leading reason of bird population decline, but I just tell her that I'll have to look that up, and ask her if she saw which way he went. (I'd like my restraint during this interaction noted, thanks.)

Anyway I don't find the cat but I get a good few patrols around the block, and eventually he comes back to the house sometime in the late-night early-morning. He does not use the dog door and waits for me to open the door instead (back door is on the way to the bathroom, I saw his stupid little face pressed against the glass when i went to piss).

I look up bird population decline articles. Most of them mention cats as a factor, along with clear windows. Primary factors are listed as deforestation and invasive species, pesticides, etc. I don't consider getting my cat a collar because I don't appreciate my neighbors input, especially when she's going to be hypocritical and ignore that planting native species may help bird population more than putting out fifty fucking feeders and complaining that the stray cats see her yard as a buffet. Anyway.

I let him out again yesterday, this time through the window in my room, which leads to the back porch. I felt comfortable leaving it open since I work at my desk and would hear if anything not-cat came inside. (Allergies were a problem, but I'd really rather he have a way to get inside if he wanted/needed, and he STILL will not open the dog door on his own. Obviously I'm not helping by continuing to give him alternatives but I am soft-hearted.) Sometime in the evening my dad comes in and tells me that when the cat next comes back, I should keep him inside because "The neighbor lady is being a bitch and I don't want to deal with it." I assume she said something to him, so I agree and when the cat comes in for the night I close the window.

This morning I saw what had ACTUALLY got him.in a twist, because not only did she say something but she printed out and taped a note to our door. Oh, how I would love to send a picture of it here, but I don't know how to embed photos in asks so you'll just have to deal with my transcription:

CAT FACTS

Cats kill birds. Cars kill cats.

Here's some links to look up.

[I won't type the links out. First one is an article titled "how long do outdoor cats live indoor vs outdoor cats" and the second is "faq cats and their effects on birds". I have not read either of these.]

Ask Kelly about Dixie. Ask Jean about Madeline - wait don't - she ran over her with her own car and broke her pelvis because the cat was older and couldn't hear well.

You have a very beautiful young cat. He deserves a safe loving home. Act like you care for your cat or give him to a home that will. I have four indoor cats - three are orange boys. I have a soft spot for orange boy cats. They are very happy as inside cats.

Be responsible.

[Handwritten at the bottom:]

Your cat is sleeping in my backyard. Why are you forcing him to be an outdoor cat!?

[End]

The amount of violent rage this fills me with is unreal. Kelly is our across-the-road neighbor, I assume Jean is another neighbor (I'm bad with names) and I CANNOT imagine that either of them appreciate being. Used like this. Also, I'm very glad her cats are happy indoors but this cat is not, he wants to go outside, he has been crowding the window all morning waiting for me to open it. (I respect me father so I won't, but I disrespect my neighbor so I really, REALLY fucking want to.)

So AITA for disregarding the safety/happiness of my cat and the decline of the bird population by not putting a collar on him and heartlessly forcing him outside? I'm no further inclined to force him indoors or get a collar, especially with her continued insistence, and in fact I'm so far making an active effort to restrain myself from going over and talking to her because I just want to turn it into an argument.

[prisoner-of-sin]

Shy/Affectionate s/o

Featuring: Zoya, Cinnabar, and Macchiato

These are re-written headcanons from about a year ago! I am rewriting more stuff and slowly writing some of my Ao3 requests.

Requests: OPEN

Zoya

Zoya doesn't care if you are shy and affectionate, she happily opens her arms to you and gives the love back equally. Her tone is softer in public, her arm is always around you or at least has a hand resting against you.

Zoya loves to tease you but relents with laughter when you get pouty. She holds her hands up in defeat before pulling you into her lap for some cuddles.

When you start to open up, Zoya is so proud of you because you feel safe enough to be yourself.

I stated before that she's more of a words or actions, but I've changed my mind. Zoya is most definitely action over words, sometimes she doesn't know what to say. Reputation or not, she's going to shower you in love.

Zoya will return any sentiment you give: compliments, hugs, kisses etc. She keeps you close to her body when out in public, she acts like the protective shield. It won't ever bother her, she takes it with pride.

When you and Zoya are in the comfort of indoors, she becomes similar to a puppy. You can cling to her and be overly affectionate, she holds onto you and whispers how much she loves you. Her kisses will deepen yours as her arms tighten around you. She teases and proclaims how she can take it further, resulting in your face fluttering. You may have to put up with her indoors.

Cinnabar

There's no way to avoid that Cinnabar attracts women to her, she's like a magnet! That simple fact alone may make you shy away from her even more. She knows and understands that, she puts forward more effort even if she gets flustered.

Cinnabar knows the unspoken boundaries and backs up when it's needed. This was a time for both of you to figure out feelings.

When you suddenly become more affectionate, she is taken back and nearly clueless. She may have conflicting internal thoughts about it; are you trying to get her hopes up, just to shatter them later? That seems unlikely because you are one of the sweetest people she's met.

Cinnabar is very patient when you are slowly opening up to her. She encourages the spikes in affection, you may both get flustered but she is so proud of you. There are bright smiles and thanks for making her day.

If you give Cinnabar compliments, she'll fluster and return it with a rub of her neck. You may or may not give another back, BUT if you do she'll return it. It'll be a constant cycle until one of you is the winner, it's like an endless hurricane of butterflies in your stomachs.

Cinnabar will always be by your side when outdoors, she is lowkey protecting you from any dangers. Her hand rests securely on your waist or the small of your back. She's attentive to her surroundings and you.

When it's just the two of you alone, inside, Cinnabar keeps you close and her head rests on top of your shoulder. She expresses how being with you makes everything easier, not only being a sinner but the challenges of life. You won't be able to see how much you mean to her, not through her eyes and she hopes that you'll believe her words.

Macchiato

Macchiato loves that you are shy and affectionate. She won't be afraid to ease past the barriers you have built. She wishes to satisfy all of the needs you have.

Macchiato knows boundaries very well, she won't push past them unless you are comfortable. Her patience is very high and nearly unbreakable.

Macchiato's words are smooth as silk, they are nothing but the truth. She'll hold you from behind or rest her hands on your hips, her mouth grazes over your ear as her hot breath makes you blush more. She achieved what she was wanting.

There are many times that Macchiato does it on purpose in public. It would be around the whole MBCC, count your blessings. It isn't more because she doesn't want you forever embarrassed.

At moments, Macchiato's actions can lean more on the lewd side. She'll apologize with a small huff and blush on her own face, admitting it's embarrassing that she crossed a line. She will do whatever you want to make up for it.

If you manage to gather the courage to return the gestures, Macchiato is beyond happy! She has a large smile as she teases to get her whip out to go further. She traces the thin leather over your sides before threatening to give you spanking.

When it's just you and Macchiato behind closed doors, you'll be cuddled to her or vice versa. She still teases but it's lighter and more of her heart behind the words. Her eyes have a certain twinkle in them and she's more hands on than before.

Macchiato looks forward to exploring new territory with you.

[why-animals-do-the-thing]

You mentioned that sometimes zoos don’t get the funding they need? Is there anything that we, as visitors, can do to help with that? Donations, contacting representatives, things like that? What can we do to help zoos, zookeepers, and the animals they love and care for?

What a nice question!

So on a “we need funding for this new habitat or major renovation” level, the cost is pretty astronomical compared to what the average person can contribute. For example, the Oregon Zoo’s brand new Polar Passage habitat (started 2016, finished 2021) cost $19 million. The Brookfield Zoo is planning to add on a new indoor/outdoor ape habitat to their Tropics Building and that’s estimated at $9 million. Unless you happen to know folk with very deep pockets, personal donations aren’t going to have an impact on that scale - although that doesn’t mean they don’t help the zoo in other ways!

Contacting your representatives and expressing your support for your local facilities is absolutely something you can do that helps. Especially so if the facility is funded by the city or the county, but even if they’re not, it’s really good for reps to know that their constituents value the facility and want to see it supported. You can always write them whenever, but it’s most useful if there’s stuff happening that’s directly related (funding allocation, new rules being proposed, etc).

I’m going to take this opportunity to plug another way you can help zoos, though, that’s a bit different. Your question is really timely because there’s actually an ongoing need for support at the moment (date stamp: 6/11/23). There’s an organization I volunteer with, called Zoological Disaster Response, Rescue, and Recovery (ZDR3) and they do, well, what it says on the tin. When zoological facilities, sanctuaries, and other facilities with exotic animals experience disasters - think getting flattened by a hurricane - ZDR3 coordinates a network of 130+ facilities who can show up and help. This is everything from sending food and needed supplies that are limited because of supply lines, deploying staff to physically assist an impacted facility with recovery, and even helping evacuate animals and house them until it’s safe for them to return. And it’s really important that it’s other zoos doing this work: if you’ve got to go chainsaw fallen trees out of an alligator habitat, you need people who know how to work safely around alligators! It’s a type of response work that other major disaster organizations don’t really do, because they don’t have the expertise with the animals or the needs of the industry.

ZDR3 can always use support, but, right now, they’re in the middle of a response in Guam where financial support is more necessary than normal. Guam got hit by the Super Typhoon Mawar on May 25th, and it absolutely ravaged the zoo there. It’s a small facility, with mostly geriatric, disabled, and unreleasable animals living there. A USDA representative asked ZDR3 if they’d be able to assist. The director flew out to assess the site and help as much as she could, but the thing is, because Guam is an island, they can’t ask teams from other facilities to deploy there the way the can with facilities in the continental United States. Instead the zoo is having to purchase all the supplies they need for recovery - and could really use assistance. There’s an Amazon wishlist set up with the tools and supplies they need, as well as a DonorBox link for direct donations (which go directly to the zoo, not ZDR3). If you want a tangible way to contribute to the immediate welfare of zoo animals and function of a facility, this a fantastic way to do it.

[lowkeyremi]

His birthday k. bokuto

Remi's note: Happy birthday to my favorite owl, ily (also i wrote the sky-diving thing based on my own experience)

CW: established relationship, fluff, kinda rushed

"WOOHOO!" He screams, and you startle awake.

"W-what? Ko baby what's up?" You ask sleepily. You open your eyes, they're bleary and you're trying to comprehend what's going on right now.

"Honey get up! It's my birthday! Let's go celebrate!!" Bokuto spouts all at once. You'd think after a certain age people wouldn't care too much about their birthdays. Your husband proves you wrong because he is twenty-eight, and still excited like a two year old going to chuck-e-cheese for their birthday.

"Slow your roll, I still need to get up. I also need caffeine." You mumble. Those golden eyes watch as you sit up and blink slowly to adjust to the morning.

"Don't worry, sweetness! I already made you some (coffee or tea)!" He exclaims with a cup in his hand. How did that get there? You could have sworn that wasn't in his hand a few seconds ago.

When he hands you the mug you take a nice long sip with a loud exhale at the end. "Thanks, Ko."

"Mhm, what're you feeling today? I have a couple outfits picked out for ya!" He points to the dress where sure enough, there are three or four outfits laid out.

"Where are we going? You seem to wanna get a move on." The one thing that you never understood was why Bokuto wanted to spoil you on his birthday. He always takes you places and buys you stuff. He says 'seeing you happy makes me happy, and that's all I want for my birthday.'

Every year he tells you not to get him anything besides your love. Which is cheesy. You got him something.

This actually took a long time to plan because you had to think of something he wouldn't expect. Kuroo played a role in your surprise gift.

"Yeah I do. We're driving two hours today. The sooner we get there the better." You look at him in disbelief.

"Kotaro Bokuto." You say sternly.

"I promise this time it's gonna be something I wanna do." That's what he's said in the past and it was never true.

----

He watched you go through you're daily routine, smiling at every little thing. He was over excited about helping you with little things like slipping your shoes on or setting the timer so your makeup could dry.

You guys where ready to go around nine am. Bokuto stopped by his favorite restaurant to get breakfast to go for the ride.

"These burritos never fail!!" He exaggerates with a loud moan as he takes another huge bite.

"You are a piece of work." You sigh with a smile taking a bite out of your own burrito.

Throughout the ride Bokuto plays songs you used to listen to when he first met you. He purposely sung off key just to piss you off make you laugh.

He wanted to play road-trip games but you had to remind him countless times that he was DRIVING so he can't play road-trip games.

------

You really had no clue where he'd brought you. The place looked empty based on the amount of cars present in the parking lot. Before you can even process it, he opens your car door, "Come on honey, don't wanna be late."

Your hands are intertwined and he guides you into a small white building.

"I brought you to an indoor sky-diving place because I'm too scared to actually sky-dive, yet." He explains, a grin crosses your face when he mentions real sky-diving.

"Let's do it then!" You say excitedly.

Bokuto checks you two in for your reservation. The instructor takes you two back to a little room to teach you the basics of indoor sky-diving. She says it's similar to outdoor sky-diving. She shows you the three hand signals you'll need to know so the operate can know how you're feeling.

Once you two have grasped the concept so she brings you to the sky-diving area. Bokuto goes first, he looks so cute and funny swinging his legs all around in the glass cylinder trying to remember what the woman had taught him.

"Baby look! I'm flying!" He yells trying to flap like a bird, which messes up his flow and causes him to bump into the glass wall. Your giggle goes unnoticed as he exists the glass when the air stops flowing.

"Mrs. Bokuto, you're up!" The operator yells. After checking your helmet once more you're stepping into the cylinder.

Over all the experience was quite fun and you got some good pictures of your husband being silly.

-----

When you arrived home, you put your hand over Bokuto's eyes in order to keep him from looking.

You motion to Kuroo who is already in you're house looking at you waiting for the signal.

"Okay Ko, open them up!" He opens his eyes and you remove your hand. Standing round your kitchen table is Tsukki, Kuroo, Akaashi, Kenma, Atsumu, Hinata, and surprisingly Sakusa.

"Happy birthday!!" They all say in unison.

"I wanted you to celebrate with your friends, so outside I set up the net so you guys can play a few rounds of volleyball." You say meekly with a huge smile plastered on your face.

"Babyyyyyy." Bokuto drags out with a smile.

"Thank you so much! Come on guys! Let's go play some volleyball before it gets super late!" Bokuto kisses you. When he detaches his lips from you, he grabs your arm and drags you out to come play volleyball with all his friends.

[takeachillpillshawty]

Very specific TWST head cannons

Jack was accidentally given alcohol by a third year at a party because they thought he was also a third year.

Ruggie would make bets with students if they can guess Jack's age correctly.

Malleus would stay back at after the final class of the day just to sing, he likes the sound of the empty class room. He stopped doing that because a rumor about a "haunted class" was spreading.

Sebek yelled so hard one time, he couldn't talk the next day due to the pain.

Vil watches those self care videos, as in the earwax removal, black head removal, technically any of those gross removal videos. It's a guilty pleasure of his.

Cater is a hot cheeto girl, he and Idia would make ramen and put hot cheetos in it.

Silver is a heavy sleeper...like heavy sleeper. One time a fire broke out in Diasomnia and everyone was screaming. Only after the fire was out did he wake up.

Malleus used to talk to stuff animals as a kid.

Sebek monologues to himself, and everyone can hear him.

Sebek when he was a kid chased another child with a broken ruler for saying Malleus' name in vain.

Riddle and Jamil have this weird friendship, basically it's just them trying to relax but remembering there are idiots who are in the dorms and can't rest until they get things done.

Each dorm has their own WiFi router, Idia usually hacks into the others in case Ignihyde's one is down or he just want to see people's search history.... Let's just say he's not comfortable around certain classmates.

Idia permanently puts Ortho on child lock so people won't ask him to look up not so friendly things on the internet.

Ortho can get sick from viruses or corrupted data he accidentally downloaded.

Jade and Rook have a passive aggressive rivalry. Like imagine them in the botanical garden having lunch and Jade handed him a poison mushroom infused tea and Rook just 'accidentally' pours it in a plant watching it wither. While looking Jade dead in the eyes, both have smiles on there faces, as they passive aggressively try to kill each other.

Cater x Jade or Rook would be so fucking funny. Like imagine dating the most dangerous students in the school but hey at least the dick is crazy.

Trey has a collection of his baby teeth and his siblings baby teeth on his night stand. No-one brings it up...ever.

another reason why Cater doesn't eat sweets is because he'll get a tooth ache just eating a smore.

A student once asked Crewel if it was possible to make 'crack' in potionology..... Crewel wasn't getting paid enough for this.

Crowley has committed tax evasion.

Azul Is thicc. I said what I said, and don't boo me. I'm right.

Ruggie is banned from Monstro Lounge due to finding loop holes in Azul's contracts and getting free stuff.

Malleus hates cake with too much frosting, It defeats the purpose of the cake.

Malleus would use fae circles to teleport prefect to him.

Floyd likes to just bite things, especially his phone case.

Rook takes the best photos.

Sometimes people forget that Vil is an actor and model, so when seeing him in a movie, commercial or magazine they just get jump scared and remembered .

" oh yeah....Housewarden Vil is a celebrity.."

I think prefect is desensitized to meeting famous or high status people that they're not a big deal to them. Imagine Prefect going to a cafe and THE KALIM AL ASIM Is paying for their drink, everyone is shocked that someone who's richer than royalty is paying for you and all you say is " Oh thanks Kalim. "

I feel like up to book 6 every dorm leader helped out in repairing Ramshackle adding there own piece of their dorms in there. A gaming room from Idia, A luxurious bathroom with skin care supplies and designer clothes from Vil, pantry and groceries from Heartslaybul and Scarabia and a cook book from Trey and Jamil respectively. An indoor and outdoor pool from Savannah claw, wallpaper and decor from Azul, and finally furniture and jewelry from Malleus.

[icycoldninja]

Hello, I hope you are having a good day! I stumbled upon your blog today and since I read through it and consumed as much od your writing as I could, I want to request a Sparda boys + V x reader where the reader got a bad sunburn and they take care of the reader.

Sure, these might be a bit short, but enjoy!

Sparda boys + V x Sunburnt!Reader headcannons

¤ Dante ¤

-The first thing Dante did was laugh his ass off at you. He doesn't care that it's mean, he thinks you look ridiculous with half your body bright red.

-Once you start pouting/growling at him, he quickly pulls himself together and goes to find some ointment to alleviate your irritatation.

-He then examined your burns, wraps the more serious ones, and puts extra lotion on the minor ones.

-After that, he tells you to avoid the outdoors for a while, to drink plenty of water, and to get some rest.

-He'll keep you company all day, don't worry, the only drawback is that he's afraid to touch you because he doesn't want to aggravate your burns.

■ Vergil ■

-Vergil clicks into mom mode the minute he sees your skin all red.

-Immediately forces you into the nearest seat (unless the burns are on your legs, then he'll make you stand) and orders you to wait there while he looks for something to help you.

-Returns from wherever he went with his arms full of lotions and creams and begins smothering you in the stuff.

-Bandages you so tightly after that, you look and feel like a mummy.

-Even though he's already done so much, Vergil still refuses to let you out of his sight. Don't blame him, he's just worried about you and a tad bit overprotective.

□ Nero □

-Freaks the fuck out.

-Nero has spent a lot of time either indoors or hanging out at night, and when he's outside, he's usually battling something or someone. He's never personally had a sunburn, even though he knows what they are, and doesn't know what to do when you get one.

-After a bit of internal panicking, Nero remembered Google exists and searched up "cure for sunburn". Thankfully what you had wasn't very serious.

-Nero then cared for your burns to the best of his abilities before offering some advice he literally pulled off the first few results on Google.

-You'll be fine and are probably able to return to normal life by now, but you're grateful for his help all the same.

● V ●

-V doesn't really know what a sunburn is. He's only been alive for a few months, you know.

-He first thought you were trying out some new makeup trend when he saw your bright red skin. Once you revealed what it really was, he and Griffon set out to do research.

-Instead of going online like a normal person, V heads for the library and is gone for a day. He returns, eventually, with a bag full of herbal creams you're not sure where he got.

-While going on and on about the stuff he read in an old tome possibly more ancient than the library itself, he applies the stuff to your skin.

-Holy shit, it actually works. Your burns are gone the next morning.

[hiiroamagisbestfriend]

welcome back!!! this might be sudden but how about rainy day hcs with the 3a trio? individual or maybe as a poly 👀👀

Rainy Day Headcanons!

w/ Chiaki Morisawa, Izumi Sena, & Kaoru Hakaze x GN! Reader

omg... my first request after coming back... thank you... i'll do them individually and then as a poly teehee

Warnings: Nothing in particular!

✩ First of all, if you two had plans to go out or any sort of outdoors-y activity and it started raining really hard? He'd be so bummed out about it.

✩ Of course, any time he spends with you is a good time, but he's an active boy at heart!

✩ On the bright side, he has his fair share of nerdy hobbies too. And he absolutely has no qualms with cozying up with you on the sofa or bed and watching some movies. Maybe even a tokusatsu marathon, if you share that interest with him.

✩ I feel like he'd spoil you for real. He'd cover you with blankets and pillows, and then reassures you that he can handle all the necessary prep for making a good, romantic time.

"You just stay put! This hero will make sure to blow away all your rainy day woes!" Chiaki stood in front of you with that eager look in his eyes, making sure to put on a pose that makes him look really cool.

✩ After that, he'd scurry off to the kitchen. Probably to prepare your favorite snacks or drinks for you to enjoy. The level of his success varies, but what matters is he tried his best, right?

✩ Once he's done, he'd squeeze into the blankets with you, and if you weren't warm earlier, you definitely are now. Maybe it's suffocatingly hot, even.

✩ But there's really no way you can tell him to leave. He looks so happy being by your side. His smile is as bright and sunny as ever, but he's looking at you with such mirth that you can already see his heartbreak if you asked him for some space.

✩ Chiaki would lean into you, arm reaching around to your shoulder to pull you in even closer. Then he'd put on whatever it was you two agreed to watch, and then he'd be really engrossed!

✩ Unless you suggested that you watch horror. That's a whole different story, now is it?

✩ Izumi would probably not be as lucky to be indoors with you when it started raining. Maybe you two were walking home or worse. On the way to your actual date.

✩ If it starts to pour, he'd definitely let his annoyance be known. Clicking his tongue, quickening his pace, grabbing at you a bit harder. All the good stuff. Maybe he'd even throw in a "So annoying!"

✩ Maybe he'd even tell you off, blaming you for planning a date without checking the forecast. But you know he isn't saying it out of malice.

✩ If the rain gets really hard though, all those platitudes fall through. If you're underdressed, he'd wordlessly hand you his jacket, and would probably get all flustered if you bring it up.

"Huh? It's because you're such a dumbass. It was already bad enough you invited me out during a damn storm, but you even had the gall to not bring a jacket." Despite his harsh words, Izumi still brought you inside the nearest establishment within his line of sight to hide from the rain.

"Don't even think about saying 'thank you'. If you're really grateful, then make sure there isn't a next time."

✩ He'd fuss over you though. Patting your hair dry, making sure your clothes aren't too wet. Stuff like that. Maybe letting you get sick is the best way for you to learn your lesson, but as fun as taking care of you would be, even he isn't that heartless.

✩ Once things have settled down, he'd probably want to hightail it back to his place. Or yours, depending on which one's closer.

Izumi practically dragged you back to the apartment, immediately ushering you towards the bathroom. "Go take a hot shower, or something." He would demand, but with the way he seems to be preparing clothes for you to wear after? He doesn't seem too upset.

You thank him for being considerate, but he just rolls his eyes. "Haah? I'm just making sure you do the stuff you're supposed to do after getting rained on. But... I guess it isn't so bad to hear you say that."

✩ Just don't tell him his face has been a bit flushed since earlier. He probably wouldn't be able to handle that.

✩ Rain is romantic! Though he wouldn't happily jump into a storm, Kaoru would be more than grateful for the vibes that a nice, rainy day brings.

✩ Its a bit sad that he can't take you out on a date like this, but that's okay! Because there are things that he can do even while indoors.

✩ Like playing his guitar. He wouldn't bring it up willingly because he's still a bit unsure of his skills, but if you asked him to? Heck, if you personally requested for him to play a song?

"I'm not that good yet, though?" Kaoru would try to play it off, shaking his head as he held his hands up. "If you really want some music, I can just play some on my phone?"

But you would stubbornly decline, reassuring him that what you wanted to hear was him playing guitar. That statement made him blush, just a little bit.

"I can't really say no if you're the one asking..."

✩ If it's a song he already knows, he'd proudly play it for you. Just like he said, he isn't the best at it yet, but he's playing it for you, so it would never sound bad.

✩ Alternatively, it could be a completely new song for him. Not that it would deter him. He would search up the arrangement online, putting all his focus into learning it at this very moment.

As the strumming of the guitar mixed with the rain outside, Kaoru can't help but feel like you're staring at him really intently. Its good that you're paying attention to him, but... he wants to focus on nailing this song for you!

It feels like his entire body is heating up, even down to the tips of his fingers, making it even harder for him to focus. He can't let up though, he won't!

"Ahaha. Did you enjoy that? The payment for that private performance will be one kiss~" Kaoru wanted to bury himself in a hole. He doesn't really like acting like a playboy when it's just the two of you. It makes him feel insincere. But he's nervous! So he can't help but fall into old habits.

✩ His worries are unfounded. Since he does get his payment, as requested.

✩ Having not one, not two, but three whole boyfriends to spoil you on a rainy day? Maybe you really did die and go to heaven at this point.

✩ In terms of how outward they are with their affection, it would probably be Chiaki, Kaoru, and then Izumi. But don't get things wrong, they all love you (and each other) a whole lot.

✩ Relationships with this many people could be seen as a chore, but seeing as you're all basically best friends with one another, things go smoothly for the most part.

"Group hug!" Chiaki would pull all three of his partners in for the aforementioned hug, squeezing them tightly and earning mixed reactions of surprise and ire.

Nobody complains though, since it really is the perfect weather for a cuddle like this. Maybe it's a bit cramped, but kicking someone out would be the last thing on anyone's mind.

✩ If, by chance, you were afraid of heavy rain and thunder, they would do their best to try and reassure you. In their own, silly ways.

✩ Since everyone in this little group has their own varied interests, I think you would all go and enjoy it in a rotation. Just to make sure everyone was having fun and didn't feel left out in any way.

✩ A lot of hugs and kisses, probably. One of them would try to do it sneakily (funny how I could see any of the 3 doing that), but that sort of one-on-one is unfair! So now it's a group thing. It always has to be!

✩ Then you'd all probably fall asleep in a bed that's way too small for four people. Squeezing just to fit in. But it's warm. And there really isn't anything better.

i feel like i'm still getting back into the groove of things so sorry if its a bit wonky...

Likes and Reblogs are greatly appreciated!

[sunshinelivesforever]

Getting severe Gigi x Slate brainrot recently so here we are

Gigi x Slate Headcanons

They are the literal embodiment of the grumpy x sunshine trope

It wasn't love at first sight for them, more like attraction at first sight

And then they slowly fell in love

Taking care of Gigi just kind of becomes second nature to Slate

Like, when he notices her shoelaces are untied, he ties them for her

When he notices that she's cold, he takes off his jacket and puts it on her

And he's really protective of her

He can listen to her ramble for hours but Gigi being Gigi, she often gets really curious about his past and asks too many questions

When that happens, he just kisses her to shut her up

Speaking of kissing, Slate is Gigi's first kiss

After he kisses her for the first time, she becomes unnaturally quiet and her face becomes red

Savannah asks her what's wrong and thinks she has a fever

And Gigi says that it's nothing and goes to her room but then a few minutes later she bursts out of her room screaming "MATTIAS SLATER KISSED ME" at the top of her lungs

Grayson nearly murders Slate when he finds out

Gigi is very physically affectionate and it takes Slate a while to get used to that

He's usually the one who's better at flirting verbally but the first time Gigi back-hugs him, he's so flustered he can barely form words

Gigi 100% steals his jackets, hoodies and sweaters

She sends cute cat videos to him all the time and he claims to never watch them but one day, she catches him watching one of the videos with a smile on his face

They talk together for hours, about anything and everything

As he works for Eve, Slate is always relaying Eve's messages and stuff so he doesn't really ever get to express his opinion on anything

But when he's talking with Gigi, he can do that

Their outdoor dates are like mini-adventures

Their indoor dates are comfortable yet fun

Gigi often falls asleep on top of Slate

Gigi makes really creative handmade gifts for him and he's so touched because no one's ever done that for him before

Slate loves kissing her

They usually hold hands when they walk around

In conclusion, Gigi x Slate is an adorable ship that I can't get out of my head and I request JLB to make them canon. Please.

[rowiewritesstuff]

Hello, may I ask for an Earthspark or TFP match-up, please?

My height is 5'3 (160cm). Im nonbinary and asexual, and I use any pronouns. I have brown, curly, short hair and green eyes. My skin is very pale, and I usually look pretty tired. I wear black clothes. Im a pretty calm and level-headed person. I really enjoy deep conservation, music, dancing, reading, and stargazing. I can read pretty much anything. I really like learning new things. Im sarcastic, and I like to tease my friends. I am extremely loyal to my friends, and I show my affection for them through gifts, quality time, and doing them favors. I tend to talk a lot about topics that I am interested in. I usually stay calm when people panic, (even if I'm screaming on the inside). Im trying to be as open-minded as possible to everyone, as long as they are doing the same thing to me. I love animals, especially raccoons. I think they are just adorable (I also have a cat and two dogs).

I have a pear-shaped body, but I'm also a little bit chubby. I have some scars on my arms and legs (mostly because I scratch my wounds when I'm stressed). Im anemic, which means that I get tired easily. Im also lactose intolerant. I often have random pains, but I don't know why. I also have an anxiety disorder (I bite my nails and lips a lot because of it). I would rather spend time indoors than outdoors, but I will not pass up an opportunity for a picnic :3.

I dislike loud noises and crowded places. I can't speak in front of a large group of people, and I have trouble making eye contact. I also hate when someone is bullied. I like spending time with someone when we both just do our stuff in one room. Im a pretty awkward person at first, but if I get close to you, I become more talkative and funny. People always tell me that when they first saw me, they thought I was intimidating. I often hum some music while doing something.

I think thats all. I apologize if this is chaotic. I never wrote a request. I hope it's not too much. Feel free to not write anything at all if you can't come up with anything <3.

Have a nice day and remember to take care of yourself!

Yandere TFP Megatron

Megatron is a cruel decepticon with a distaste for organics, so when he grabbed you into his servo he went to crush you right before Prime’s optics. He grinned viciously down at you, and your dead stare made him pause. Even the bravest of his kind looked more fearful than you. 

Before he could even form a coherent thought, he had transformed around you and flown away. When he got back to the Nemesis he was angry with himself- but he didn’t realize that as he threw you to Knockout, ordering him to watch you.

While you were scared, you did like the quiet of this place. It was almost soothing. 

Knockout peered down curiously at you. At your obvious exhaustion, he commented. “If I didn’t know better about your fleshies, I’d say you’re half dead.”

You stared back up at him, not quite making eye contact. He noticed your avoidance, but said nothing as he scoffed and went back to working. 

Megatron questioned himself as to why he brought you along, but he couldn’t put his finger on it. He ended up sitting you on a table in his room while he worked. You were mostly quiet, but your curiosity showed as you looked at his computer. 

His booming voice asked what you were doing, and you covered your ears. Megatron wasn’t sure why he did it, but he lowered his voice and spoke again. “What are you looking at?” 

“....your screen. Sorry.” You bit your nails nervously. Megatron turned away, silent. 

It was weeks before he sat you on his shoulder. He didn’t speak, clearly unsure of how to communicate with you. For the first time in millions of years, he was truly unsure of himself. 

When he did start talking to you, it was to teach you about his gladiatorial days. He spoke of how he started the revolution, and how he fought against the corruption of the senate. 

Eventually you felt comfortable enough to ask questions with him, but you felt nothing but pity. He had been through so much. However, you also felt conflicted- the Autobots are your friends, but you feel like this war has no point anymore other than for Decepticons to get some sort of revenge. 

You slowly began to chip away at Megatron’s cold spark, and he cared for you- even if he didn’t show it well. He loved the way you hummed softly your favorite songs, and how content you were to merely sit on his shoulder. 

Megatron would often bring you to large forests so you could enjoy the nature he found you enjoyed. 

One day, when Megatron was on a comm with Soundwave discussing something, you decided to take off. You wanted to be back with the autobots- not to say that you even hated Megatron after everything you had learned. You ran through the forest, getting turned around almost instantly. 

Almost immediately, you were snatched up into the servos of a very furious mech. Megatron had a deep scowl on his face. 

“After I bestowed all of the knowledge I had upon you, did you really think I’d let you go?” Megaton squeezed you painfully tight. “Don’t worry, worm. I won’t make the same mistake with you twice.”

Megatron, secretly heartbroken that you’d try to leave after creating a bond, locked you in a cage hanging in his room- with no way to escape his clutches. You would never be allowed out unless Megatron was with you. His trust would be hard to earn back- maybe even take your lifetime.

[magnoliasforyourmedic]

Hear me out, Band of Brothers AU where Easy Company is the name of a Skydiving facility that offers experiences in both indoor and general skydiving.

Like there are all different levels of skydiving instructors for both indoor and outdoor skydiving, some instructors specialize in different experience levels such as training first-timers or accompanying individuals who are working towards their license. I can totally see some of the people who work the indoor skydiving side of the facility being not at all a fan of outdoor skydiving. All in good fun of course, but I can definitely picture some friendly indoor vs outdoor skydiving rivalry.

Doc Roe would be one of the few medical personnel they have on staff. He’s got the most jumps of the medical personnel and is pretty experienced but never actually teaches any skydiving courses. He does teach medical courses to the skydiving instructors focusing on what to do if they find themselves in some different situations, like how to help themselves or the other people they’re jumping with. Oh and Gene will kinda just tag along sometimes when they’re taking up a group like one of the boys who isn’t scared of him will notice him getting ready with them and say “tagging along, Doc?”

The company hired him mostly for insurance reasons but he really cares about making sure everyone is safe. It wasn’t a requirement that he be licensed to skydive, but the guys like having him around especially when they’re taking up first-time skydivers (not that there’s much for him to do medically while they’re in freefall). Probably mostly just sees people after they get back from their jump with stuff like altitude sickness, friction burns from harnesses that weren’t properly secured, motion sickness, a couple of broken bones maybe, of course it could always be worse but you get the point. He’s not a doctor, but definitely has some sort of EMT training. Perhaps he was an EMT but left for mental health reasons or is still an EMT on the side?

[xiaosonlybeloved]

~when they take you on a date~

GENSHIN HEADCANONS #4

featuring- Xiao, Diluc, Heizou, Aether warnings- romantic relationship (obviously) a/n- im SO sorry guys ik i have an absolutely terrible posting schedule im soooo sorryyyy

masterlist

XIAO

-probably an indoor date -although he's just content to spend some quality time with you, he's still gonna go for advice to some of his trusted confidants so that he can make it a nice experience for you -since he's fairly new to the mortal concept of dates, he does his best to make it memorable for you -he cooks his special Almond Tofu for you, a sign that he really cares for you -he actually spends a whole day preparing for this, and he's very nervous about whether you'll like it -so he's very relieved when he sees your excitement and happiness -if he takes you on an outdoor date, he'll take you to some pretty but secret place bc he'd know many of those, like that one spring in a cave near the harbor (?)

DILUC

-restaurant date 10/10 -except that it wouldn't be a normal restaurant, it'd be one of those elite, high level, super classy ones that only the incredibly rich people could afford -if it's an indoor one, then he'd pick a secluded table with warm yellow lighting and a lot of other rich ppl stuff -if it's open air, he'd definitely choose a candlelit table at night, with minimal lighting apart from the candles and sky -he'd spoil you a lot that day, as if he doesn't every day already -he'd let you buy absolutely whatever you wanted on the menu, no matter how expensive, all on him -oh and he'd probably shyly feed you a bit himself, and whenever you weren't sitting, he'd hold your hand firmly

HEIZOU

-he's a detective what do you expect? -he'd probably give you the time and place beforehand -turns out it was an escape room he made, and you find yourself locked out with a bouquet saying "Solve this escape room and find me, and I promise you'll find a wonderful surprise waiting. Good luck~" -when you do escape, you'll find him waiting for you in a handsome suit (i imagined it a shiny grey) and another bouquet of your favorite flowers -he'd smile and wink at you charmingly or flirtatiously and say, "Wow [N/N], I'm impressed, that was faster than I expected. C'mon now, don't be upset if you are, because I have a load of amazing stuff prepared for you" -or he'd just go with you to an escape room or haunted house

AETHER

-since he's an adventurer who's been to 4 different nations, he'd definitely know all the best and most beautiful spots for a date -so he'd take you on an outdoor date for sure -it would be a picnic or something tbh -he wouldn't directly take you to the spot, but he'd show you a LOT of places on the way -in the end, he'd take you to this cozy, hidden spot somewhere where there'd be a soft chequered blanket, a lot of food and some books and games -he'd make sure you enjoyed and had fun -overall the date would be just as sweet as he is, which is a lot

as usual. thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed! likes, comments and reblogs are all very appreciated

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for letting out our* indoor cat?

i (24 they/them) live with my mother (51 she/her) and my sister (29 she/her), altho both of us have moved out and lived on our own, but moved back into our childhood home due to economic/health stuff, mostly caused by the pandemic

during the time living on her own, my sister has gotten a dog and two cats. while we all love them and take care of them, i would be lying if my mother and i didn't expect her to, and be annoyed when she isn't, be their primary caretaker

both my sister and myself are against outdoor cats. i dont think its safe for the cat or the local ecosystem, and she agrees. one cat however does not care for our opinons, and tries to escape by any means, having learned to open doors, both with normal handles, and the garden ones, and we had to start locking everything up even when people are at home. due to his tenacity, he is always wearing a collar now, has been microchipped, and is up to date on all outdoor cat vaccinations just in case he does slip away

before you say we should take him on walks — we tried but he starts thrashing so violently in his harness he breaks out of it and runs off. trying to tire him out at home hasn't really been working, cuz he just doesn't want to play with us in the limited space — he likes getting chased

the issue is. i have migraines that have gotten much worse over the past year. i finally started medication about two weeks ago, but apparently it will only start showing any results after 2-3 months

one of the ways the cat tries to get us to let him out is by screaming bloody murder. i think you can guess where this is going

i asked my sister to take him to her room, and she has, but 1) we share a wall so it was still painful, and 2) she works from home, and after about 20 minutes she threw him out and said that sorry, but she just cant have him there. her door locks. mine doesnt. so even if i close the door he will open them and stand by my bed meowing as loud as he can

i was having a bad one. i-have-broken-a-bone-and-this-is-worse bad one. extreme photosensitivity and double vision, sounds hurting, nausea. honestly looking back at it, i probably shouldve called emergency services it was that bad. but i obviously havent been thinking clearly, and all i wanted was for the sound to STOP. so i let him out and went back to being miserable in a dark room

usually when he slips out, we tell my sister immediately, but i didn't. i guess she assumed he gave up. she found out when he showed up at her window couple of hours later

my sister is obviously majorly pissed at me. mam grew up with barncats, so she thinks cats should be allowed to come and go, but since its my sisters cat, she respects him being indoors — but shes annoyed by the racket, and thinks that its on my sister to find a solution, and being mad at me for this is her own problem. i feel really bad bc i really do think that letting hinm out like this is dangerous for him, but i genuinely felt like my head was going to explode

What are these acronyms?

[lilac-witch]

✨️🌌 (male preference pls)

I'm asking you both, because why not... 😆💕

I love being outside, I'm always doing something. The only time I take to sit down and relax is when I read.

I work in Healthcare, I love my job.

I love being around people, learning about them, I'm very open minded.

I speak 3 different languages

I'm the biggest sweet tooth that exists 🤣 Tho, I can't cook.

I'm a words of affirmations girlie all the way.

If not, why not😂

I’d pair you with Helion and Ruhn.

I feel like you would thrive in Day Court, with the endless amounts of sunshine, and picturesque views. You’d never want to go inside, so Helion would go where you go. Want to go for a walk through the gardens? He’s there holding your hand. Want to read a book in one of the thousand libraries in Day? He’ll read with you.

I feel like Ruhn may rein you in, and convince you to spend a little more time indoors. The male is never home, always busy with Aux stuff, so being home with you is his comfort space. That’s not to say that he wouldn’t venture outdoors with you if you asked.

Helion would treasure your thirst for knowledge and compassion for people. As a huge fan of learning himself, there’s nothing more exciting than you both teaching each other things, and learning as you go (people watching is a must, and coming up with elaborate backstories for them).

Ruhn would love your love for humanity. He would feel that it makes you good and true. I also feel that he would be relieved that you work in healthcare, away from all the violence and working to heal those who’ve been hurt. He sees so much pain and anguish on a daily basis that it’s healing for him to watch you work.

Helion wouldn’t care that you can’t cook. Why would he, there’s thousands of staff members to cater to your every need, and he would pay them highly to ensure your sweet tooth is always satisfied.

I feel like Ruhn also can’t cook. I envision him trying once, and almost setting the kitchen alight. So takeout it is. I feel Ruhn would shower you in sweet treats. Like, imagine him leaving for work one morning, and leaving a sweet on his pillow to show he’s thinking of you 😭

Lastly, I feel like both these males shower their partners in loving words. We all know how flirty Helion and Ruhn, but I feel like that would translate to the most heartfelt compliments under the sun.

[sonorousabyss]

Hi!!! Can I have a match up if you’re still doing them please?

I’m gender-fluid and pansexual

I’m about 5’1 and pretty muscular

I have a buzzed head and deep brown eyes with full lips and small nose

I love drawing, playing horror games, watching people draw, making stuff with clay, going outside and hiking!

I’m pretty introverted, I only hang with certain people that I’m comfy with and have trust issues. I have a hard time telling people no sometimes but I love standing up to people when they hurt others.

I’m a Pacifist and hate conflict, I also hate loud noises and bright lights.

I would prefer from clone wars and bad batch!

(Pro-nouns any)

Have an amazing day and thank you!!!

AN: Sorry for the delay, my friend, I hope your day has been amazing as well! This matchup I have in store for you may seem a little unorthodox at first, but it was certainly a joy to write.

Regardless of how you meet this man first, he's always the same: excitable, happy, and just a tad oblivious.

Wrecker isn't always the most in tune with his volume; Frankly, he's always at least a level louder than he probably should be, indoors or outdoors. That said, it's never intentional, and just a sign of his enthusiasm.

Even though he doesn't have the greatest control, I still see you getting closer to each other, even if it has to be a gradual process, with you having to take a step away from time to time to decompress from the overstimulation due to just how loud he can be. He might not fully understand what's going on, but he cares, and he's absolutely trying his best to accommodate once he puts two and two together.

On days that you just can't with the galaxy, perhaps the ship is humming just a bit too loud, or a mission takes you into a cantina with bright lights and a tone-deaf band playing their instruments loud enough to make your ears ring, Wrecker's there, keeping an eye on you and trying to help.

Wrecker is the kind of man to straight-up cover your ears, thinking it may be useful, even if it isn't always effective, and if you're alone after, on the ship or in the barracks drawing? You can bet that he's sitting there hovering, trying to guess what it is you're making.

He isn't always on point with those guesses.

That said, if he knows you're overstimulated, or just trying to collect yourself after a stressful day when you are on the ship, he's going to try and be as silent as possible, even in the most comedic way possible.

That includes hitting his head on the bunk as he sits down next to you, loudly exclaiming in pain, and then immediately following it with a whispered "SORRY", with him and trying to be quiet again.

...That said, Wrecker isn't exactly great at whispering.

If you encourage him, he will certainly attempt to draw with you. His drawings aren't particularly the greatest, but he tries, he loves it, and he loves it when you watch him too. Especially with any level of vested interest.

He 100% has attempted to draw what you were drawing before by looking not-so-discreetly over your shoulder and thinking he's being stealthy about it. He wasn't subtle in the slightest, but it was adorable, and it got some of the boys to chuckle as they watched it happen.

Would give you piggyback rides, and just pick you up and set you on his shoulder for fun.

He'd also do this to give you a better view as well, knowing that he and his brothers all were at least a foot or so taller than you.

You can also expect to be picked up as he runs away from explosions with the team, even if you're able to keep up. He doesn't want you to be in reach of the blast (especially because they're notoriously loud as hell).

Expect his hand to mess with your buzzed head often. He figured out it feels fun once after attempting a reassuring pat on the head and now it's just pure gold to him. Plus, you probably won't threaten to kill him unlike another clone with short hair he knows.... probably.

Recognizes you're a pacifist, given time, and respects it when you stand up to others. In fact, he likes seeing you get that riled up on behalf of others, even if he wished you'd have the confidence to do so for yourself.

That said he's probably going to be the one to step up first in a lot of situations- and frankly, probably situations that don't require him to do it in the first place- engaging in violence so you don't have to, and as he'll excuse "Because it's fun."

Sure, he gets joy out of it. Especially if he gets to blow something- or someone- up in the process. But that doesn't mean he doesn't go into it without good intentions.

Has absolutely slammed a clanker into the wall because it tried to sneak up on you during a mission, or dared to target you in general. Said clanker's head was later used to terrorize Crosshair.

Be glad you enjoy the outdoors, because if Wrecker can drag you in on any of the batcher's missions, he will, and the terrain they're expected to travel regularly isn't always the most pleasant. They're a fairly efficient and mobile group, and the occasional "hike" is to be expected.

On the topic of missions, he's absolutely tried to con you into finding a way to tag along with them when you weren't already assigned to them because he wants you both to quote, "blow stuff up together."

He does this even knowing your dislike of conflict because in his eyes there's nothing quite like bonding over exploding clankers.

Not always the most useful with advice. Anticipate many facepalms in the wake of this goofy man.

If there's anything you can look forward to, it's that Wrecker has the best cuddles. Enough said.

He's sulked several times because he thinks he upset you by being too loud. This is something several of his brothers can attest to.

Overall he's very much a beefy, violent himbo that does his best to show interest in what you like and be a little quieter because he likes you, and it's ultimately adorable as shit.

AN: Ahhh, I love Wrecker with a burning passion, and I'm glad that you sent in a request. Something about the idea of him meeting someone and just being so enamored that he tries to please them despite normally being the very antithesis of who'd they'd find nice to be around is positively adorable, and I simply couldn't resist. Hope you enjoyed! May your day be as pleasant as the ocean's abyss is deep! Also, it's been a while since I've seen bad batch, and I may be a little behind, so if anything here is off I profusely apologize and might edit later. XD

For those of you who are new around here? I take requests. You can find my rules here.

[thunck]

I have played five hours of Dwarf Fortress every day for the last four days. It’s probably the greatest video game ever made.

My first two forts, Minefountains and Metalpulleys, were both on adjacent map tiles and both destroyed after slightly over a year by hordes of undead. This probably had something to do with the fact that I started a shitty militia of five dwarves approximately a year in, without constructing any defensive architecture or traps, both times.

Anyway, my third fort Bowloar (that’s “Bowl Oar”, which I guess could refer to like a giant ladle) is on year five and going strong, with no undead in sight. It is located on a tile adjacent to Metalpulleys.

To what do I attribute this success? Is it a total lack of militia, which the local necromancer could see as non-threatening? Is it the steady stream of visitors to our two bustling taverns, both filled with burly mercenaries, monster slayers and (primarily) naked foreign dance troupes? What about the airtight system of drawbridges over three-story pits ringed with weapon traps okay probably it’s that.

I mean, I don’t know that that’s a deterrent. I understand fortress wealth and notoriety is a factor in being besieged, but I don’t think it checks if there’s a single easily-pathable, easily-destroyed doorway protecting every suckling dwarven babe. Although knowing this game, maybe it does. It seems more likely that I’m 10 meters further away from the tower, and therefore outside of its Zone of Terror (tm).

Although Bowloar hasn’t been grabbed by ghouls, its defenses have been tested by the appearance of a giant.

This asshole is named Nikot. He has lived for 370 years (since before the dawn of civilization) doing nothing but fuck shit up. Today, he decides, is an excellent day to come fuck up some shit in the dwarven fortress of Bowloar.

I might be giving myself too much credit, actually. Probably this prehistoric ABDL enthusiast has literally just been wandering aimlessly since the dawn of time, and my shit is just in the path of today’s fuck-upping. Anyway.

The alert sounds that a Big Fucking Guy is here, and I immediately activate the emergency burrow and order all the drawbridge levers pulled. I take special care not to fling anybody haplessly walking over the bridge to their untimely demise or maiming, as has happened two (2) times upon activating the main drawbridges in the past. This is my third time activating the main drawbridges.

Nikot proceeds to kill a bunch of stuff in my walled-off outdoor pen (they used to be in an enclosed pen, but they ate all the grass and started fighting each other). The two adult yaks in there manage to wound him, and he wears himself out wrestling all these animals, but the fucker has a bottomless well of stamina and durability. He just takes a nap and keeps trucking.

While he’s napping in the pen I consider flooding it with water to try and drown him. I had just learned to route water underground to an indoor cistern just as he attacked. But that kind of engineering project is something you have to plan for, apparently. He hops over the wall and goes to meet one of my many visitors.

He wrestles a lady to the ground, gets her shield and greataxe off her, but succumbs to exhaustion before he can finish her off. She’s lying there bleeding out, and uses the last ounce of her strength to bite the shit out of his head over pages and pages of the combat report. Just a drop in the bucket for this fucking guy.

Nikot gets back up and spends all of autumn killing every visitor to the fort, including this year’s dwarven trade caravan. Just days of killing guys with his bare hands until he passes out from exhaustion and pain, they whale on him until they pass out as well, then he wakes up and slaughters them. The alerts above are from the second wave; all told he kills like 10 people, including exactly one unlucky fort resident. Everybody else is locked up inside, spending most of their time partying and hanging out like usual.

At this point Nikot has breezily wheeled around the fortress twice, killing scores of dudes and being uninterested in breaching my defenses. Finally he goes to cross the outer drawbridge after being baited by a cat, he dodges a weapon trap, Kirk-rolls into the pit and a rock falls on his head and he dies.

This is probably the kind of thing that just kills you no matter how big you are, but I feel like it helped that he got worn down by a solid three months of constant wrestling.

Somehow a baby yak and two geese evaded his initial onslaught on the pen. The geese maybe hid in the water, or else they didn’t piss him off for some reason. The baby was probably able to hide while he was passed out. He “didn’t feel anything while in conflict”, but is “indignant after being forced to endure the decay of a mother”. Which is fair enough, sorry about that little dude. He literally just got born, and then his mom explodes into a pile of viscera and hooves and he has to sit by the corpse while it rots.

It’s clear from this experience that combat can be a bit of a crapshoot, especially against a guy from the dawn of time (and this is probably one of the weaker, less crazy ones!). It’d still be nice to get a militia going soon, though, if only so I don’t feel so helpless.

Aaaand there’s another one. Good thing I rearmed those bridge traps!