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[untildawnss]

is it really self-isolation if everyone hates you?

idk how to format this, but, this is a fic about what happened when emily went to go talk to "sam" (mike). just some things to note... in this narrative:

emily is a lesbian

mike is bisexual

matt is a vincian

both emily and mike were cheating on each other with other people

emily was cheating on mike with sam and jess

matt doesn't know any of this

there is no nsfw just angst (i don't really write nsfw anyway)

“MICHAEL.”

Emily’s heart is pounding in her chest. This idiot just had to go and scare her.

“You really, really should have seen your faces just now,” Mike says, through laughter.

Matt complains, “Dude, I almost clocked you just now.” Emily wishes that he did, because Mike doesn’t even seem like he’s listening, just muttering “Nice one!” to himself. “Michael, you’re a jerk,” she chastises, disappointed.

The man in question has to protest, “Come on guys, we’re all friends here, right?” A raised eyebrow from Emily and Matt. “No need for violence, just a little harmless fun. We’re up in the woods, it’s spooky, come on, let’s get into the spirit of things!”

Emily is getting really irritated now. “The spirit of things? Seriously? What’s wrong with you.” 

Mike deflates a little. “I’m just trying to lighten the mood, Em. Don’t be like that.” She can feel her face heat up. “Like what?”

“The way you’re being, you always get like this.”

Emily winces. She doesn’t want to admit it, especially not to his face, but she feels like he’s right. She just can’t find it in her to laugh. But, is it really her fault if she can’t help it? And anyway, why can’t anyone just take her seriously, just this once? Matt decides to interject. “Michael… I’m just gonna lay it out, otherwise this whole weekend’s gonna suck ass for everyone.” Oh good, finally he defends her. “Um, this is super awkward, and we all know it.” What? “Let’s just, uh, acknowledge it now and move on. Okay?” Not okay. She starts, “Matt-” but she can’t get a word in, because Mike responds, “I hear you man. I get it; I don’t wanna make this weird.” Ugh. If he didn’t wanna make this weird, he didn’t have to jump out like that.

But, men are men, and the two of them seem to come to the conclusion that they’re “good”. She can’t be bothered to ruin the mood anymore, so she just throws out, “You guys gonna make out now?” This seems to make Mike happy, because he jokes back, “Oh my God, totally, we’re sooo gonna make out!” 

An awkward pause, and then back to reality. “Uh, no, seriously, I’m gonna check out the cable car back down the trail.”

And, with a few “see ya’s!”, he’s off to his destination. Emily feels stuck. She knows she should just, ignore everything, and go back up to the cabin for a fun weekend, but, as she looks back at the cable car station…

Emily smacks her head with her palm. “Ah, crap!”

After some bickering, she manages to (painstakingly) convince Matt to take the rest of the bags up to the lodge, so she can go talk to “Sam.” She doesn’t know why she’s lying, it’s not like she’s going to cheat on him with Mike. She knows she won’t, because—

Because why? She’s not into him? That would make sense, she supposes; When you get a new boyfriend you’re only supposed to have eyes for him. Except, she doesn’t, because when she thinks about doing it with him, the air on the mountain gets a little colder. 

She wishes she was actually going to see Sam, right now. The thought of her is so warm, and soft, and pretty—

Okay, she REALLY needs to stop with that. That was the whole reason she’s in this mess; those bad, bad thoughts. And anyway, she has to focus, because she has caught up with Mike.

"Hey, wait," she calls out. He turns around, surprised to see her chasing after him. He inquires, “what’s up,” and her words come out stumbling.

"I just…” She pauses to catch her breath. “Matt's right, we are gonna be up here together for a while, and... I just wanna set things straight. So, let’s talk, okay?" Mysteriously, his demeanor softens, his eyes drifting away in thought, before he brings his attention back to her, and finally says, “Okay. What’s there to talk about?” A valid question.

Emily has to look away before getting into it. “I know that— what happened back then, I know it wasn’t right. I know we aren’t together anymore, obviously, but I still want to be friends? So…” A deep breath in. “I’m sorry.” She has to shut her eyes. “I’m sorry about how it all went down. I want to say I didn’t consider it cheating, but deep down, I feel like…” She finally gathers the courage to look him in the eyes. They look back with compassion, and it gives her the strength to continue, “I just wanted an excuse. If I could pretend it didn’t count as a real relationship, then it wouldn’t be wrong. But, it was wrong, because I wronged you. So… I’m sorry. Really, I am,” she grabs his hands out of desperation for him to understand.

He lets her. "Hey, I get it.” That was all he uttered, but Emily could feel the weight behind those words. "You do?"

"Yeah." A nod of his head. “And, if it means anything, I’m sorry too.”

Emily doesn’t feel satisfied. Whether it’s because she can hear that that apology was meant for someone else, or because her own guilt hasn’t gone away, she isn’t sure—but she finds herself pulling away and instinctually folding her arms in. She doesn’t get the chance to create any real distance, though, as Mike cups her face in his hands. “Hey,” he coaxes, gently wiping away a stray tear with his thumb. “I promise, everything will be okay. Okay?” Emily nods with a little “yeah” and a sniffle. She can hear the sound of Mike convincing himself, too, nestled in there somewhere. She elects to ignore it and lean into the comfort.

The sick feeling in her stomach hasn't gone away, but she somehow feels hopeful.

Emily playfully pushes Mike away. "Okay, I’ve had enough vulnerability for one day. Go away now." They share a much needed laugh, and go their separate ways.

Things seemed better. She thought her and Mike had come to an understanding; which was why it hurt so much to see that insolent display of “love” on the couch. A betrayal from both him and Jess.

She lashed out. She knew she was being unreasonable, but it was like that switch had flipped off, and another her took over. She was right here, and at the same time, far away. Too far to protest or reason with herself.

However, no amount of distance could shield her from the sting of Jessica’s (admittedly petty) scathing insults. Bearing the pain, all she could do was snarl and snap back in a pathetic attempt to protect herself.

After all is said and done, Emily finds herself trudging through the snow with Matt. Her mind is reeling. Did Jess really mean all that? Were they still friends? What the hell just happened? So many questions, so little answers. She hates feeling confused. She hates everything, and everyone. Fuck this.

If there's one thing Emily is certain about, it's that she is alone.

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hi... guess who.....

do u have any silly cutesie hcs for matt x josh... :3

i think this is the least anonymous anon i've ever received lmao

anyway. yes i do <3

matt x josh (mosh)

please tumblr let me use hyphens for my bullets i BEG

josh makes chris come with him to all of matt's football games... the ploy is so he can make ashley and chris hang out but josh's eyes are on matt the whole time

matt the type of guy to put reminders in his own damn phone to text josh a lil "did you take your pills? :)"

josh goes "asshole why do you know my schedule" then he goes and takes his pills because matt texting him actually reminds him and then he texts matt "yeah"

josh starts inviting matt and ashley to hang out with him and chris all the time because he's sooo sneaky (he isn't)

it stresses matt tf out because josh has always just been the ringleader group guy to him and he's like. "why am i here does josh like me how do i get him to keep doing that"

josh pressing his cigarette into matt's hand and matt going Aaagh because he has to play football but josh's lips Just touched that

(he takes the hit)

this isnt mosh but matt and chris become buddies after all this hanging out time

chris Knows that josh wants matt before josh even does

chris is stressed about not telling either of them

josh takes everyone out for dinner after matt ashley and jessica graduate and insists on taking them home

he drops everyone off and saves matt for last even though it's inconvenient and then kisses him on the doorstep

matt laughs and says "what the fuck, josh, we aren't 15"

josh tells him to shut up and kisses him again

i lobe thenm

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every christmas chris has to spend the first hour or two solving his family's computer problems. the only person who tries to understand what he's doing and saying is his grandma and sometimes she calls him just so he can explain computer terms to her. she writes it down in a little notebook so chris doesn't have to explain things again and again. she doesn't even own a computer, it's just how she bonds with chris.

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josh and chris

does anybody want to take turns hitting each other unconscious

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hiii, idk if u do hcs, but if u do, could u do some sam giddings hcs?? she's such a cutie

absoLUTELY

sam giddings

loves avocado

has a flannel sherpa-lined jacket she wears all the time

wears flannels.

yellow converse

love languages are acts of service and physical touch

early riser

loves iced tea

wears gold jewelry

has a nose stud on her left side

she and ashley knit together

i love she/they sam giddings

she would be a druid or a paladin if this was d&d

goes climbing all the time (even more after the game because that shit saved her and she refuses to give it up)

hard of hearing after the mountain with tinnitus

still by noah kahan is her song i do make the rules

she loves unwritten and pocketful of sunshine by natasha bedingfield

shared clothes with hannah and beth

i think she'd move in with chris and mike after the mountain. tbh

tries really hard to take care of everyone but herself

calls people "honey" and "sweetie" and "cutie"

keeps spare clothes in her car at all times

loves her dog

i think she would also get one of those massive dumbass boy cats and they would be best friends

learns as much as she can about folklore and wendigo legends as a coping mechanism

buddies with mike munroe

buddies with chris hartley

buddies with EVERYONE!!

has always been kind to emily

bikes everywhere

worked summer jobs and put up with visits from her dumbass rich friends

she loves hozier

lets ashley post her on her blog

arm wrestles chris mike and josh

always sleeps on hannah's floor when there are trips

loves songs like come on eileen, head over heels, there she goes, rhiannon

bisexual, female preference

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thinking about josh calling mike michael and chris christopher rn i am weak

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Hannah Washington fans I summon thee

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Do ppl still fuck with until dawn

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me accidentally reblogging here instead of on my main blog

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jess about josh if j squared were bffs

oh him? he’s my emotional support pervert

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washington siblings shenanigans

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i just know that chris and josh hold wine glasses like this

because it makes people weirdly uncomfortable

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this is em and jess coded to me

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i wish i could draw

I’m starting a (rapidly growing) collection

Or as I like to call it, draw your blorbo. No really if you do draw any of your blorbos like this feel free to tag me because I would love to see that

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the fandom @ em

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this is what their gc looks like btw

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