#i take “drink lots of fluids” very seriously

[i-am-simply-here]

I'm sitting her wondering why I've had to pee so much today but I've had two cups of coffee, a bottle of water, a Capri sun, and a can of coke and its only 4pm

[lilspacewolfie]

Papas Caring For Hospitalized Reader

Spawned from pure self-indulgence. I've been through more hospital visits these last four weeks than I have my entire life. I want someone to bundle me up and make my hand better. I hate hospitals and operations *sobs*. Enjoy nonetheless!

Content: 2k words, Papas x gn!reader, SFW, bullet-pointed format, mentions of hospitals, needles (only mentioned), mention of general anaesthetic, angst, hurt/comfort, anxiety, lots of sweetness, you're getting pampered, no beta we die like nihil!)

This man will do everything in his power to make sure you’re looked after and relaxed. 

Tea for days! He will try different flavours until he finds the one you like.

Dives headfirst into deep research as to which herbs help your injury heal, as well as calm your nerves. He knows his plants well, but he wants to know more. You deserve the best of the best.

Insists on going with you for infirmary visits even when you tell him you’re fine (you’re not really, but you just don't want him to worry.)

He will anyway. 

Chronic worrier, especially given his age. 

He takes his health VERY seriously, yours too! The Ministry has the best medical care around. 

If you need a wound cleaned, stitches taken out, or other medicines, it's the place to get it. 

Primo will be with you as much as he’s able to, even if that means he’s sitting for a long time while you’re being treated. 

When you’re free and discharged—bandaged, bruised and probably feeling sore, he’ll take you back to his room for some TLC. 

Will have a bath or shower with you, (in his jungle of a washroom), depending on what you prefer and smother you with all your favourite scents.  

He’s a deeply caring individual and shows it openly. 

Will speak gently to you, whisper sweetly and ensure you’re not overstimulated more than you have been. 

“Shh, I know. I know amore. It’ll be over soon, just breathe for me.”

He knows how much you hate hospital/doctor visits. 

You can squeeze his hand if you want. 

If you need space for a bit after everything, he’ll gladly give it. 

If not, prepare to receive a lot of kisses, especially on your forehead (a lot of them, like… SO many.)

He will help you bathe if you’re unable to, running a foaming washcloth over your skin carefully. 

Let him wash your hair! It’s one of the things he adores doing for you!

Once you’re washed, warm and feeling more relaxed it’s time for more tea in bed with a snack if you want one!

He insists. Even if you don't feel like eating, try to drink something for him <3

“It will help you feel good and relax, Il mio fiore.” (My flower)

Fluids are important (wink-wonk).

Reminds you to take your meds like clockwork (always with tea and water)

You’re his petalo (petal) and he loves you dearly. 

Will wrap you up in the mountain of blankets and faux furs he has on his lush bed. He’s old, he feels the cold more than others. At least he has you to keep him warm.

Secondo hates when you’re hurt/hurting in any capacity. 

Even if it's something minor, he’ll worry about it to the point where he loses sleep over it. 

He’s a big, brooding mother hen. 

The Emeritus curse of being a chronic worrier doesn’t stop at Primo.

This man wants you to be okay and it kills him when you’re not. 

Will also go with you to the infirmary and stay with you. 

The staff always find him a little intimidating, but they know he’s just worried sick. He’s kind to everyone, but honestly, he won't speak much unless spoken to. 

“Are you alright, mio tesoro?” Is what he mainly asks, his voice so low it's close to a rumble. 

Tries his best to make you feel relaxed. 

Will make really, god-awful dad jokes that are so bad you do laugh. 

He will quietly hold your hand the entire time, rubbing his bare fingers over our knuckles. 

You rarely see him remove his gloves in public, but he HAS to be touching you. He insists. 

He’s had enough knocks and breaks in his life to know how fragile the human body can be, but also how incredible it is at self-repair. 

That doesn’t mean he views you as a fragile thing that needs to be wrapped in wool, but he loves you so deeply he would if you let him. 

He admires your strength and resolve as you put up with being poked and prodded (by needles or with doctors.) 

Once you’re released from care, good luck getting him to be anywhere less than within touching distance. 

You’re getting a kiss. Lots of them. Mostly chaste and gentle. 

You can tell it's because he worries about hurting you. 

He relaxes a bit more when you kiss him HARD and bite at his bottom lip. 

Will also help you bathe and shower. Again, touching distance. Just let him be near you for his own sanity. 

Though he wouldn’t be upset if you need some space. He’s very understanding if you’re overstimulated. 

Will linger outside the door in case you need anything. 

Let him dry you off and dress you in comfortable clothes. He can see you that way. 

He can see you’re still with him and that you’re safe. 

He’ll touch you slowly, running his large hands over your skin. 

Will spoon you once you’re in bed or let you curl into him. 

He’ll bury his nose in your hair, breathe you in and say a wordless prayer to Lucifer that you recover quickly. 

“Ti amo.” You hear him whisper as he presses a kiss to your forehead and strokes your hair.

Only falls asleep once he’s sure you have, holding you close the entire night. 

Terzo. Oh, Terzo. 

Emeritus curse of being a chronic worrier? Check. Turn it up to eleven. 

Unlike Secondo, Terzo is open with his worries. 

He’s a fair mix of his brothers, both gentle and occasionally stoic given the shape you’re in. 

If it's something minor, he’ll try to play it off with a bit of humour like he tends to do. He’ll make bad jokes (oh ho, you thought Secondo’s were bad just wait for this.) 

If it’s something you need an operation for, this man will be silently out of his mind. *insert any internally screaming gif here*

He takes pride in his appearance, but you’ll start to notice cracks—dishevelled hair, a button not done up or a smudge of his paint. 

It would worry you more if he didn’t have Omega or one of his brothers to make sure he’s drinking and eating regularly.

Tries to hide his stress. Fails. Rinse and repeat. 

He doesn’t want you to worry about him, you’re the one in pain, about to be put under and Lucifer… What's he going to do if something happens?

He loves you. Adores you. You’re his life.

He knows how much you hate being stuck in hospitals and it pains him to see you stressed. The last thing he wants to do is add to that, so he’ll play it cool. 

When you go in he’s pacing the halls.

Rest assured, the healthcare of the Ministry has you in safe hands. 

It puts Terzo at ease, but don't expect him to leave your side when everything is over. He will sit at your bedside, kiss your knuckles and stroke your hair. 

Let him touch you. Just let him. 

He’s been through so much heartache in his life. 

Will kiss each of your fingers and whisper sweet words to you. 

“You’ll be okay, vita mia. Cuore mio. I’m here. I’m with you.” (My life. My heart.)

Maybe he’ll hum some songs too. 

You’re his everything. 

Once you’re ready and well enough to leave, you’re getting pampered to hell and back. This man worships the ground you walk on. 

Whatever you want it's not too much. A bath? A shower? Just to get into bed and fall asleep? Terzo’s right there with you.

Dinner in his massive, plush bed with your favourite movie.

When you’re ready to sleep he’ll plaster himself to you. He would crawl inside your skin if he could. 

Fitful sleeper. Wakes up a few times just to make sure you’re ok. 

Eventually sleeps soundly once you kiss his worries away. 

Stroke his hair. He’s a sucker for that!

*Copia is not Nihil’s son in my verses/AUs unless explicitly stated.*

He’s learned bad habits from the Papas it seems. 

Worrier. Yes, it's chronic. Seriously, are we sure this isn’t like the flu?

Paces a lot. 

Good luck getting him to sit still. 

If he's not pacing, he’s as close to you as physics will allow. 

Lots of touching. Will rest his head by your hip if he’s tired from all that pacing. 

Perfect opportunity to run your fingers through his hair.  

He’ll hold your hands and kiss your knuckles. 

All that stress tires him out. 

“Mi dispiace, amore. Non sto aiutando,” he’ll whisper brokenly. (I'm sorry, amore. I'm not helping.)

You two probably end up curled up on the bed of the infirmary together if you have been waiting a while. A nap won't hurt. 

You kiss slowly as you get comfortable, limbs tangled.

The angle is a bit awkward. 

The sleep helps but he’s still going to be stressed when he wakes up. 

Will get you anything you need. A drink or food, perhaps one of the really nice yogurts they do at the visitor's cantine. 

Will ask the nurses and doctors SO many questions. He likes to be informed. Gets stressed if anything is unclear. 

Maybe he should be in this infirmary bed and not you. 

Prepare to be coddled once you’re discharged. 

You’re both taking a long, hot bath or shower. 

He wants to wash you down so he can see you and make sure you’re ok. Lots of tender kisses to your skin. 

Ends up with you in his arms under the hot water just swaying together. 

You’re wearing his clothes. No, not just because he likes how they look on you but because they’re baggy and won't irritate your skin *cough*. Sure Copia. 

He’ll order your favourite food and you can watch a movie in his room together. 

Will mother hen you, constantly ask if you need anything, and make sure your water glass is full. 

He probably will cry. It’s just been so much. 

You can cry together if you want. You both understand. 

Also like clockwork when it comes to medication (if you’re taking any.) 

Curls up in bed with you. You both sleep like the dead after such a long, stressful day. 

Breakfast in bed when you wake up.

*Copia is not Nihil’s son in my verses/AUs unless explicitly stated.*

Copia might not be of the Emeritus blood, but unholy shit does the curse of being a chronic worrier catch like wildfire. 

He’s Papa now he’s gotta be strong. 

Will put on a brave face. But underneath he’s still the cardinal he was years back. 

He’ll worry and fret and pace. There's no changing some things. 

While he’s outwardly less anxious, this poor man has so much weighing on his shoulders after he took over to front the band. 

Inwardly it's chaos. 

His hair is never quite as smoothed back as it normally is and his paint is a touch worn. 

There are some things you can't change about a man. Not really. 

Prepare to be coddled, again. The mother hen has never left the coop. 

He’s going to pamper you when he gets you back to his room. Of course, you’re staying with him, he’s not letting you go. 

So. Many. Kisses. 

This man loves kissing you. He adores you so. 

A bath in his spacious tub is just what the doctor ordered. You lay against him and relax in the dim with only the light of candles. 

Finally lets himself cry. 

You shush him, kiss him and remind him that you love him and that you’re ok. 

He loves you so much he can't even express it. The thought of losing you kills him. 

He tries to push your hands away when you take a cloth to his paint. You’re the one who's been hurt and poked at all day, he’s supposed to be caring for you!

Eventually relents because you both know you need this. 

More kisses and mutual washing. You love seeing how his skin pinkens across his cheek, arms and back. It brings out the pretty freckles all over his body. 

When you both get into bed, tangled up again, Copia will whisper how much he loves you until he’s too tired to talk anymore. 

You both sleep like the dead.

masterlist ⛧ Ao3

[drinkinboilingcoffee]

Could you maybe tell us a bit more about remnant hunger? It seems like such a cool idea

Rubs hands together evilly like a small housefly Eheheeheheh (It’s easiest to explain if I just do an in-depth explanation of my au version of remnant, so this is some of that as well. The most important thing to understand is that remnant is NOT the same thing as soul.) REALLY long post ahead.

So the way remnant works in my au is that it’s a naturally occurring metal in the bodies of most living things (like iron or something) with a simple purpose: to bind the soul to its body. It’s found all throughout the system, but is concentrated most in the brain and nervous system (and the smarter an animal is, the more remnant there is binding its consciousness). So you want to make a ghost, huh? To do that you need a soul, a lot of remnant (different surfaces like metal hold onto remnant better) and a part of their body that the process will transfer the soul from. In areas with enough remnant, ghosts can happen naturally if there’s enough remnant in whatever part of the victim binds to a surface (Evan with the brain matter when his skull was crushed, Charlie with spinal fluid when she was stabbed in the neck). Remnant also has a relatively low melting temp (its liquid in the human body) and unbinds if it heats up to its gas state.

Now, living things constantly gain and lose enough remnant in their systems through the natural process of eating, drinking and breathing that running seriously low is hard to do without already being on the brink of succumbing to hunger and exhaustion. But spirits? Whatever they possess (be it an animatronic or corpse) exists in a much more passive state. They lose remnant, but it’s harder to gain it without digestion or circulation. It takes a while, but day by day their soul slowly unwinds from their body. The symptoms tend to present themselves as an intense hunger accompanied by a lack of self control that progresses into the eventual point of completely uncontrollable aggression. You can stave it off for a while, but in the end the only way to end the hunger is to sate it with concentrated remnant- aka human flesh.

You don’t necessarily have to kill someone for it (Mike probably breaks into morgues and such for the most part), but the longer something is dead, the less remnant it has. The guard bodies they recover from failed night shifts aren’t usually very intact almost entirely as a result of the animatronics feeding, Elizabeth gets a cut of the remnant from what she catches from Circus Baby’s capture mechanism, etc. William specifically was pretty fucked up by this, since he went like 30 years without more than the occasional rat to eat, so that whole time was in a sort of hunger-driven half conscious stupor (whoever unearthed him definitely got fucking eaten) which is why he’s so unhinged in fnaf 3 and much more ‘human’ in fnaf 6.

Mike was definitely pretty hard hit by the whole thing because: A) he has to pose as a human being and get along as normally as possible in society. B) he already has a lot of internalized fear of hurting people, and having a deep desire to bite Jeremy’s face off whenever he’s hungry doesn’t help. C) guy works at Fazbear Entertainment, he’s around blood and bodies all the time and he has to physically force himself not to just go batshit crazy. Good news, he can at least access already dead bodies somewhat consistently so he’s not running around murdering people, bad news is pretty good odds he snapped and ate a coworker once and got an extra layer of trauma on top of the ever growing pile.

[yandere-fics]

Ainsley's NSFW Alphabet

♡ A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex) ♡

Of course she has to take proper care of you after an experiment, she can't have her cute test subject breaking on her, then she wouldn't be able to run another experiment on you for a few days. Not that she doesn't also enjoy taking care of you and worry about your health but she goes into a bit of analytical mode when she's running these tests on you.

♡ B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) ♡

On both of you it has to be the eyes, how marvelous is it that with your eyes you were able to achieve love at first sight, eyes truly are a very joyous thing for you, they even allow her to watch you for hours on end as your eyes roll back into your head from the multiple sessions of testing you're helping her perform. It's wonderful how much of a gift this part of her body is to her, truly a gift of fate perhaps.

♡ C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically) ♡

Well she's obviously going to bottle yours and taste it, it would be lovely to mix some in with the mystery drink she drinks every morning, she won't let you know she's doing that though or you might try to pour it out and she can't really have you wasting such a valuable substance, and by that she means both the mystery drink and your bodily fluids. If it's in the omegaverse she's going to use your fluids to make something that will induce a rut in her. Also either way her cum is a mystery liquid and you don't want to know what it is anyways.

♡ D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) ♡

She doesn't even need to mix your blood with anything for it to affect her like an aphrodisiac, you would think she was the vampire with the way it affects her, she rarely touches it because if she indulged herself in it too much no experiments would ever get done accurately, it doesn't work with anyone else's blood either so it's starting to feel like her weird soulmate thing is true.

♡ E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?) ♡

She has a lot of experience but not with experimenting sexually, she's been waiting to be able to run these sorts of tests until she finds someone she loves, they mean a lot to her and how could she run them on just some random person, these are meant to sort of bond the both of you and combine your interests.

♡ F = Favorite position (this goes without saying) ♡

She has a very comfortable padded table where she likes to have you lay in the center, it makes it easy for her to poke and prod at you while she records your reactions. She does like to bend you over the examine table and slowly fuck you after her experiments are over sometimes though. She tries not to because it might mess with her record keeping but she really can't help herself when you look so lovely like that.

♡ G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.) ♡

She's entirely serious, she'd have to be in order to make sure the results of her testing are properly recorded. She also expects you to take it seriously, don't muffle your sound dear or she'll have to get one of those gags that open your mouth, please she needs accurate data on how this makes you squeal, you wouldn't want her to have to test it again because you fucked up the results, would you?

♡ H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) ♡

She's very fluffy down there, you aren't going to see it very often since she uses magic much more often. The carpet does not match the drapes, it's a dark black color whereas her hair is ashy blonde almost like the color has been stripped from it. She doesn't dye her hair, years of prolonged magic exposal has stripped it of it's color and vitality, she uses severe conditioner or it will frizz the fuck out and probably all fall off.

♡ I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect) ♡

She just makes it feel so clinical at time, sure she can absolutely take a pause for the experimentation and just do it regularly with you but this for her does feel romantic, she's including you in her magic so it's bonding and very romantic in her eyes, fine she'll do it your way if you want but you had better promise you won't squirm away as much next time she wants to run another test.

♡ J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon) ♡

You can't really tell if she does get off, I mean she sure looks happy after your experiments but did she get off? When she does fuck you too, something definitely cums out but honestly it's just as likely that she has let something weird out inside you just to act like she came for the sake of the experiment. She definitely doesn't jack off.

♡ K = Kink (one or more of their kinks) ♡

Magic and blood play. She saves things related to your blood for very very special occasions though. She does want to use a knife and mark you with it but that would be unrelated to the tests she's running unless she's testing a blood thickener or something. She often will make you consume her blood to see if it will affect you the way yours affects her. She might use yours if she's feeling spicy since it has an aphrodisiac effect on her.

♡ L = Location (favorite places to do the do) ♡

Only in her tower, it's the best place to remove any variables that could mess with her results since her tower is set up the same every time she wants to experiment with you.

♡ M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going) ♡

She wants to learn more about you and how your body responds to certain things she does with it, what gets you to whimper, what makes you whine, and what makes you moan at the top of your lungs for more. If she wants to know everything about you then it means she has to do lots of testing.

♡ N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) ♡

She won't share you, she'd murder everyone else in the kingdom and resurrect someone forcing them to look and act like her and be her puppet if you really want a threesome, there's surely someone who would be compatible to be resurrected as her duplicate in the whole kingdom, she just have to keep killing until she finds them.

♡ O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.) ♡

I don't think you want to give with what she's packing just saying, the mystery liquid doesn't taste very good and while having it inside you makes you feel a state of tranquility and expedited healing, drinking it makes you feel a little bit light headed and a bit like a cat on catnip so probably best to avoid doing that too often. She won't make you do that anyways since doing it often might fuck with her results. She often does experiments involving your cum, making it thicker, making it wetter, making you produce more juices and part of that is tasting it so she often eats you out.

♡ P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.) ♡

It's slow and steady because that enables her to take proper notes as everything happens, sure she could speed up but that would introduce too many variables to measure, was it the speed, was it the heat produced by the speed, was it that you're extra exhausted now, she can't tell and it fucks up the experiment.

♡ Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.) ♡

Quickies don't allow for enough note taking and if she pauses in the middle of the experiment to have a quickie with you then it might skew the results since now so is introducing herself as an unexpected variable. Thus quickies are a no go.

♡ R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.) ♡

This whole thing is an experiment to her, of course she likes to experiment and take risks, so long as they happen in her safe magic tower where she can make sure they are conducted in a safe manner with very few variables. During it outside would introduce too many variables to get accurate clear results.

♡ S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?) ♡

She can do this all day but she'll keep the experiments limited to a few hours because she doesn't want there to be too many variables like exhaustion included. She would like you to be fully recovered before the next test which will take longer if she leave the experiment running too long.

♡ T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?) ♡

They aren't exactly toys, she took the models that Elisha designed and decided they weren't nearly creative enough since they didn't include magic and by infusing a bit of her will into the things she made she could make them specifically designed to crave being inside her darling. They also can tease themselves to do better each time she turns them on.

♡ U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) ♡

She's not trying to tease you she was merely testing to see what your reaction would be if she pulled on your nipple will it was covered in the 'goo' compared to how it reacts when she pulls on it not covered in the 'goo'. Sorry you took it as teasing baby girl, she didn't mean for you to get that impression.

♡ V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.) ♡

Honestly I think I would punch her because she mostly just sits in the corner writing her stupid little notes and making small comments to herself about how this potions seems to make you too woozy to respond and she needs to lower the wooziness in her next batch. If you try to talk to her she'll probably either ask you to tell her more how you're feeling or shush you because she has to document this.

♡ W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character) ♡

If she uses magic all day then her hair looks greyer and then when you wake up is's gone back to a more normal ashy blonde. This is because the magic uses her vitality and then she uses blood to return some of the vitality to herself and it returns to a better shade. If she stopped using magic in general and keeps taking the blood it would likely return to black but she never gives it enough recovery time to return to black.

♡ X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes) ♡

She certainly fucks you with something, you're pretty sure it's a real dick because something comes out of it though if you look at it you might die because that is not the color of a real dick which just makes you highly concerned about what is coming out of it and going into you. It's best not to think about the mystery substance. Anyways she's pretty thick, very bulky, not as much as Nora but she's got a decent amount of meat on her, almost dad bod especially with her flat chest. It really fits the dress shirts she's always wearing well.

♡ Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?) ♡

Her overall natural yearning is pretty low, she only really wants it when she gets really really inspired to test something out otherside she's fine just hanging out with you, if she doesn't have any questions she wants to test then she's unlikely to initiate although it's extremely rare for her to not have something she wants to test with you.

♡ Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) ♡

You don't know if you've ever actually seen her sleep, sure she lays in bed with you idly chattering about which experiment she wants but whenever you wake up she's always up before you and you always see her drinking that weird coffee drink so you're pretty sure that just keeps her semi permanently awake.

[chainoftalent]

1/2 I am the anon who wrote in the other day - thank you for responding so quickly! Would you be willing to do prompts from the NSFW Headcanon Game for both Yandere Kokichi and Yandere Shuichi if you feel comfortable with it and/or have the time? If so, could you do B, C, F, G, I, M, N, P, Q, R, S, T, U, W, X, and Y for both of them? I am sorry, I know that's a lot to ask for! I was tempted to ask for the entire prompt but I feel terrible because it's a lot for just one character, let alone two!

*spits out my drink* well, you certainly know what you want! Do I need to get you some water for that THIRST

NSFT Yandere Alphabet B, C, F, G, I, M, N, P, Q, R, S, T, U, W, X, and Y for Kokichi and Shuichi

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Kokichi really likes his hands, he likes how clever his hands are and how quick they are, especially on use to his partner. While Kokichi really likes his partner's legs. He is definitely a bit of a leg guy, he likes them lean and strong.

If Shuichi had to pick, then maybe his eyes? They look kinda nice with the eyeliner and all that? He's not very body positive towards himself. His favorite part of his partner is their figure, especially if they're more on the curvy or heavy side, he likes being able to hold you.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

Kokichi honestly finds all the fluids of sex kinda gross, ew, so if you swallow for him you'll make him quite happy.

Shuichi thinks yours tastes absolutely divine!

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Kokichi likes when you ride his thigh, getting to pleasure you and you being on his lap, AND it can be done on his throne? Yes please.

Shuichi likes a cowgirl, getting straddled and getting to look you in the eyes? Win!

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Kokichi is inherently impossible to stay serious for longer then a minute he's going to be like "hey babe let me take my scarf off" and then he takes it off for like five whole minutes because he tied a bunch of other scarves to it and they just keep being pulled out from under his clothing my dude my guy you are not getting laid at this rate-

Shuichi tries to take it seriously, but hes a nervous wreck and easy to fluster, no intimidation at all, so it becomes rather funny even if he whines if you laugh at him.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…) 

Kokichi tries to keep it as light as possible, but if hes in a mood or doing aftercare, you'll find his touch...lingering, his holds more deep, some yearning to hold you so very close and keep you so very safe.

Shuichi wants to be so romantic but he's ~terrible at it~ he tries to be smooth and sweet but then you kiss his cheek and now he can't speak for another five minutes, you'll get their one day Shuichi.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Not much actually turns Kokichi on, but submission and giving his partner pleasure is definitely at least mild turn ons, he's just not very sex minded unless his partner is.

Meanwhile Shuichi is the guy who'll get stiff if he so much as has a breeze hit him while he's thinking about you. Very easy to rile up, it's funny.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Kokichi will never bottom, it's not even a control thing he just thinks that sounds Gross. All the fluids? The mess? Nooo thank you.

Shuichi hates painplay, he'll maybe give one or two spanks if you really want it but nothing more, he doesn't want to hurt anyone!!

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Kokichi goes at your pace, do you want fast? Do you want slow, you'll get it, he's not here for his own pleasure after all.

Shuichi tries to be gentle and slow and all that, but once he's riled up he'll pick up in intensity pretty fast unless you snap him back to slowing down.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Kokichi doesn't mind a quickie, he'll stick a toy in you and we'll get this done in five minutes! No problem!

Shuichi much prefers something much much longer, but if you really just want something quick, he'll oblige, though he might try and draw it out into something more proper if you let him.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

As long as there's not too much mess Kokichi will try basically anything once on you if you want!

Shuichi likes to experiment but he also will be like "okay you can back out if you really want you dont have to do this for me-" the entire time and that can be a bit annoying.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Kokichi has little stamina, but he's more of a stone top so thats fine, he can keep you teased out without wearing himself out with chasing his own finish for hooours because he won't touch himself but if you like suck him off? It won't take long.

Shuichi actually has a decent amount of stamina! He can keep going for awhile and would love to push you to multiple orgasm, but if you get overwhelmed you can tap out pretty easily.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Since Kokichi doesn't really like to use himself, he owns so many toys that can do the job done on whoever needs it in DICE. True found family shares and helps out whenever help is needed after all, wink.

Shuichi starts out with a really basic collection, but the longer he knows you and is well, fucking you, he'll collect more if he sees anything he wants to see you with.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Kokichi is such a tease if you tell him you want something slow, so much dirty talk, so much touching but not touching the Right places, he can go all day like this.

Shuichi doesn't like to tease for long, he might tease for a few minutes but then he can't help but escalate, he just wants you so so so badly!

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Kokichi likes human furniture while Shuichi has a thing for femdom.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Shuichi is on the average size for his height, uncut, while Kokichi is a bit big for his height but honestly he's a little smaller then Shuichi still because he is a small lad.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Kokichi actually has a rather low sex drive, he's the kind of guy who watches porn completely clothed with his hands on his lap as he just stares at it and makes bad jokes, he's really only all that interested in the control it gives him, he likes making people feel good.

Shuichi has a decent sex drive but he's a Gentleman and a Good Partner so he's going to try not to bring it up unless you seem interested, he can handle himself if you dont want it sweetie!

And if I missed any send less next time (teasing), but do resend any I missed

[freeuselandonorris]

Umm hi. I am here to get some big sibling life stories and comfort from your asks again. I noticed you anwered one ask that if you knew the term you would have identify as ageosexual for years. Can you like what changed? What made you found the kink side? Why were you volunteraly not having sex for years? I am just personally really struggling with my own sexuality and letting people close is hard to figure out if I am just scared or on a-spectre. (Don't feel pressure to answer)

hi little sibling anon! ❤️

so, i've always been a very highly sexual person mentally, but to me the high sex drive (i am CONSTANTLY thinking about sex and have been pretty much since i hit puberty) is not actually all that linked to the desire to have physical sex, if that makes sense.

between the ages of 17-22, i had almost uniformly miserable sex. i was struggling with various mental illnesses and horrifically poor impulse control mixed with binge drinking, so my sex life between those years mainly consisted of, at best, drunken one night stands, and at worse - well, i'm sure you can imagine. so at some point i just kind of swore off the whole thing, thought i'd maybe just take a six month break or whatever... and that somehow turned into about eight years. and honestly, i didn't miss it. i read fic a lot, i masturbated pretty much every day, but i rarely had the desire for sex and i never fantasised about myself (hence my comment about ageosexuality).

i can't pinpoint one moment that changed. part of it was just getting more mentally healthy in general, part of it was coming off birth control that had artificially dampened my sex drive (fuck you, progesterone-only pill!), part of it was meeting a partner online and being able to develop our sex life in a way that felt doable (i.e. a lot of sexting) before we met in person. and it was at that point that i started getting into kink more seriously (i'd always known i was attracted to it - even as a kid, before i understood what kink was, i was attracted to the same stuff i sexualise now), and that was a revelation. honestly, even now i could probably live pretty cheerfully without 'standard' sex for the rest of my life (assuming i was allowed to jerk off lol), but i couldn't live without some sort of kink practice. even now, i don't actually have sex/practice partnered kink that often! it's generally about once a month. but i think about/talk about/write about sex constantly thanks to my delicious feral friends and mutuals, and that to me is a fulfilling sex life. would i welcome partnered sex/kink more often if the opportunity presented? sure. could i live without it? absolutely.

ALL THIS TO SAY (long-winded and oversharing as usual) that sexuality can and does change! for me, part of it was undoubtedly fear from previous bad experiences, but part of it was simply that i hadn't yet understood what my sexuality did consist of. and that is something that comes with time, and with being honest with yourself. of course some people know from a very young age that they're ace and live their entire lives without that changing, in the same way that some people have always known they were gay or straight or any other sexual identity. but equally, for plenty of people, it changes over time, and that doesn't make it any more or less valid.

soooo if i'm going to give you some big-sibling advice, i would say that of course you can define yourself in a way that fits you and feels good to you, but that definition doesn't have to be a one-time-only thing. you are allowed to see your sexuality as a fluid thing that shifts over time, whether that's due to circumstances or simply who you are as a person changing. if you don't want to let people close to you right now, then you don't have to (and in fact i'd recommend you don't, for a little while at least, because it doesn't sound like you're enjoying the experiences you do have currently), but you don't have to assign a definition to it if that doesn't feel right. and conversely, you can assign a term to describe it to yourself and others and then change that term in the future if it doesn't fit anymore. you can say to yourself: 'okay, i don't want to have sex at the moment', and that can be enough.

[enniewritesathing]

🍼

🍺

💃 

hi 👋

🍼 — taking care of children

John: He takes that seriously (maybe a smidge too much) so he's good. Babies, for whatever reason, are 🤩towards him and they love it when he speaks to them; they tend to be less fussy. Getting them to sleep? Easy.

If they're older, he will teach them some light fundamentals of Muay Thai. (I'll give a hint that he did this with his kids... 2 out of 3 took to it very well, the other one did but they didn't quite have that 'killer instinct' but they were great in analyzing. Alicia is one of those 2.)

Brian: It's a part of his job so he pretty excellent at it. He knows how to read them well and act accordingly; very gentle and patient with kids as well. (I like to think of this as he's treating them like he should've have been growing up. Brian almost always clocks the kids that's struggling a bit.) With his kids, they come to him for advice; he's a great listener.

🍺 — alcohol tolerance

John: It doesn't matter what type it is, it's low, lol. He doesn't drink all that much to begin with. Two drinks is his max. Very touchy-feely after (but silly about it.)

Brian: Ridiculously high. He can down a bottle of anything like no one's business. He tends to do so when he's had a very stressful string of days at the hospital; that is a lot and he also gets pretty mean too. (Big reason why there's none in the house.)

💃 — dancing

John: Very fluid and he can sway like a willow tree in the wind. Or something. (He's good lol.)

Brian: He does have rhythm but he's also a little stuff...

[fakeosirian]

house of anubis drinking game (playtested for safety and enjoyment)

i can't drink for the forseeable future (just adhd meds things) but i made an excellent drinking game for each season of hoa a couple years ago SO! i decided fuck it i will pass it on here on the off chance that others would enjoy it in my stead:

IMPORTANT NOTE: this was playtested multiple times over (alone and with friends), both with blocks of a good few episodes in succession and a few episodes selected from a random number generator. it is intended for beer/drinks of similar ABV and should also be safe with wine if you take smaller sips, but is NOT RECOMMENDED for drinks of straight liquor or primarily consisting of liquor*. you know your limits better than i do, but consider yourself warned. swap in water as needed!

*may be safe for mixed drinks that have been sufficiently watered down (like seriously, increase that fluid volume)

and for what it's worth, like any good drinking game, there's still fun to be had without alcohol! i've done that before while playtesting (mostly to compare seasons and make sure one wasn't considerably more difficult than another) and still enjoyed myself, but i'm also a freak who derives a LOT of enjoyment from categorization and pattern-recognition, so. ymmv?

without further ado...

SEASON ONE

take a sip when...

there's a dangling shot-reverse-shot cliffhanger going into the commercial break

something weird is going on in the background of a shot (up to your discretion -- i count funny reactions, characters not the focus of the scene screwing around, sufficiently weird production design details. that sort of thing)

pin drop :)

someone steals something from faculty/staff

iconic patricia line ("WHERE'S JOY"/"I WANT HER HOME NUMBER" things of that nature)

someone lies Very Badly

take two sips when...

nina has A Moment

fabian looks like he's going to freak the fuck out

someone says a ship name out loud

mara makes someone's life much harder than it was before

patricia attempts or successfully commits a crime (assault, theft, etc.)

finish your drink when...

someone drinks The Piss (elixir)

someone gets kidnapped

SEASON TWO

take a sip when...

there's a dangling shot-reverse-shot cliffhanger going into the commercial break

something weird is going on in the background of a shot

pin drop :)

someone steals something from faculty/staff OR (NEW ADDITION) faculty/staff do some theft of their own

someone almost fucking dies

joy chooses violence

take two sips when...

nina has A Moment

fabian looks like he's going to freak the fuck out

someone says a ship name out loud

awful flirting and/or breakup tactics

"Gerbil"

finish your drink when...

a tunnel chamber's main puzzle is solved

someone actually fucking dies

SEASON THREE

take a sip when...

there's a dangling shot-reverse-shot cliffhanger going into the commercial break

something weird is going on in the background of a shot

pin drop :)

someone steals something from "Team Evil" or vice versa

patricia acts irrationally jealous

jerome simp moment

take two sips when...

KT makes a Face Of Some Sort

fabian tries to fight someone (or is otherwise uncharacteristically aggro)

denby looks...i have no word for it other than "horny"

oblique reference to a character who has since left the show

failed attempt at either sneaking into or getting someone out of the gatehouse

finish your drink when...

someone gets locked in the crypt

someone gets sinnered (ONE drink per episode this happens. do not die during the assembly.)

BONUS ROUND: TOUCHSTONE OF RA (THIS ONE IS A JOKE IT WOULD PROBABLY KILL YOU)

take a SHOT when...

a scene just fucking. ends. far sooner than you were expecting.

fabian/mara hateship moment

something mindbogglingly stupid happens (up to your discretion, but probably better to err on the side of caution)

if you have any adjustments, additional ideas, or rule changes, i would love to hear them! i've swapped things around and out a few times, so while these are what remained/what seemed to get an appropriate number of hits (for my relatively small frame) and were fun drink triggers for me, it's by no means a final or comprehensive list. i recommend picking things you usually look for or come up often enough to be notable, are memorable plot moments that happen a few times over, or are otherwise characteristic of the show/season in question without coming up too often.

if you're so inclined, let me know your tally for each category for an episode if you try it out! happy playing! :D

[tex-da-phox]

Helluva Boss: Unchained

Chapter 2 - Pony

Author's note: Sorry for the delays! It will happen again. I am going through multiple life crises rn, but I will try to put out a chapter every week or two at least. Also, I have posted this story to Wattpad and AO3, and they contain a preface explaining the canon divergence and a prologue that simply writes out the events portrayed in Rhues' comic. I have linked the AO3 post below. Enjoy!

The intrusive blare of an alarm clock beeping forced its way into Loona's ears. Grumbling, she squinted in the harsh morning light, finding and promptly pounding the snooze button for the third time. It was 8:20 AM on a Monday, and there was no work, so she tossed her blanket over her head and began to doze off. However, she was again stirred; this time by semi-coherent yammering from her father in the next room, followed by a loud smash of glass. Groaning, she threw herself up and, still wearing yesterday's clothing, opened her door to confront him.

Sprawled out on the couch, a very drunken Blitzø held a freshly opened, brown-tinted bottle loosely in his hand. Another lay shattered on the carpet, fluid seeping outward into the fabric beneath. Several more (mostly) dry bottles littered the floor, some broken, some intact. Television speakers played a whimsical soundtrack with wholesome, uplifting dialog to boot. The screen displayed a blue cartoon pegasus with a rainbow emblazoned on its haunch soaring through the clouds. "Fly, bitch, fly!" He yelled, raising his arm to take a swig.

Interrupting his movement, Loona chastised him. "Blitz, what the actual fuck! I'm trying to sleep, and you're out here getting white-girl wasted at ass o' clock in the morning to watch My Little fucking Pony??! What is your problem?" Loona had been living with Blitzø long enough to know that this show was a guilty pleasure of his reserved only for periods of deep depression. For the past five months, he would spend a day or two after every full moon chugging beer alone while binging it until he vomited and passed out (though not exclusively in that order).

"Uhrrhrfng- the fuckig- *hic* horsefly... wanna be... I- I wan' be pony. Get a ffffucking, cutie mark on, myass, an' get- get hellabitches." He giggled, tilting the bottle over his mouth in the air, spilling most of its contents down his throat. His face and the area around his head were drenched in wasted booze. Three 12-pack cases of beer lay next to the couch within his arms' reach. One was completely empty, another over halfway out.

Loona had seen her dad in similar states before, but never at this time in the morning. Worry was fast to join her anger. While her father was a mess, he was a mess she cared for a lot more than she preferred to admit. "You need to drink some water, for fuck's sake. And change out of those clothes! You seriously reek so bad, it's not cool." She stomped into the kitchen, snatching a cup from the counter and filling it with tap water. Walking it over to him, she noticed his phone facedown on the ground by the TV stand.

Blitzø protested, having no interest in sobering himself whatsoever. "Hey... eeyou can't- mmake me! Loonie, don'eed a-gghllhlhg-" She shoved the rim of the glass against his lower lip and poured into his mouth. Swallowing some reflexively, Blitzø gurgled and coughed up a large amount, splashing Loona in the process.

"Ugh! You're such a pain in the ass!" He hardly registered, eyes remaining fixated on the screen behind her. She set down the glass, then went to his phone, squatting to pick it up. Its light beamed in response, showing the lockscreen image of an I.M.P. group photo. A superimposed notification read: [6:51 AM ¶ New message from stole ass ¶ This is Octavia. I'm bringing the book to...] "You have a message, y'know," she said, chucking the device beside him on the sofa.

A low, sustained belch rang out. Blitzø kept chugging, determined to be as fucked up as possible. Suddenly, the bottle was taken from him. Seeing Loona grab it and the cases of beer provoked a belligerent outburst. "Wh- huh hhhhat do you thikk you're doing, liddle missee, I wa-"

"You've had more than enough, dickhead. I'm cutting you off and going back to bed. Have fun watching this bullshit."

He stretched himself, trying to reclaim the alcohol. Rolling, he fell onto the floor, his shoulder landing in a pool of shards. A jolt of pain made him yelp, Loona turning her neck to face him briefly as she moved further.

"Jesus H. Fuck, could you just knock out already?" She brought the confiscated goods into her room, then closed and locked the door. A few minutes later, she heard him mewling and scratching at the bottom of the door like a clingy housepet.

Ignored, he wobbled up to his feet and stumbled back to the couch, slumping with a childish harumph. The show's upbeat music and pastel colors blurred into a narcotic canvas of nostalgia that numbed his distress. Flopping onto his side, he let it overtake him, nodding into a mercifully dreamless sleep.

.............................................................................

"What now??" Within just thirty minutes of falling back asleep, Loona's phone rang. Its punk-rock ringtone blasted, the screen showing a profile picture of a grey hellhound with loop earrings and a poodle afro. Bold letters read: [Incoming call from Esme]. She tapped the green answer icon and brought it up to her head.

"Hey girl, how ya doin'? You're not gonna believe what I just scored," a bubbly tone gushed. "*F-ck You Dad* is touring, and I have tickets for us to go!! I already told Pink and Harold. It's gonna be a blast!"

"Oh, awesome..." Though Loona enjoyed the band, she was not in a mood to show enthusiasm. "When is it gonna be?"

"It's on Friday, at 8 PM in Gluttony."

Loona grunted and checked her calendar, which was empty for that day besides work. "I think I can hack that. Speaking of dads, though, I'm gonna have to take a rain check on tomorrow. I'll be babysitting this dumbass all week by the looks of it."

Esme tisked, drawing a deep breath that was audible through the speakers. "Remind me what his problem is again?" This was not the first time Blitzø's antics had caused Loona to miss goings-out her friends had planned.

"He's always been a mess. I swear, sometimes it's like *I'm* the one who adopted *him*." The emphasis was as much in jest as it was in frustration.

"Was it always this bad, though? Like, you said you'll be out for like a week, that can't be good."

"Well..." Loona took a moment to think of how best to phrase her explanation. "He's clearly been running from something, but he'd never tell me what it is. He just comes home to drown himself in alcohol and kids' TV until he's distanced enough to pretend everything's fine again. It's really fucking annoying."

"Yeah, I bet. Don't take this personal, but if it were me, I wouldn't waste another moment taking care of a guy like that if he won't even communicate."

"I've definitely considered that, but he does pay for the apartment, at least. And he's my boss. A couple months ago, he said he might fire me if I don't work on my 'attitude' with customers. Can you believe the hypocrisy? Seriously, I should find a way to get out soon." A strange sensation accompanied her words as they formed, subtly pressing down on her ribcage and cooling her blood by a fractional degree.

Esme laughed a bit, somewhat humorously and somewhat nervously. "I think you're right, girlfriend. I've gotta get to work in a minute, so you can vent more some other time, 'kay?"

"Ugh, don't call me that. But yeah, thanks for calling."

"Okay, byyyyeee!" Esme hung up, returning the phone to its home screen. Loona removed it from her head, looking to tap the Sinstagram icon. A red bubble in the top right corner of the tiny block read in white: [2]. She clicked it, navigating to her notifications and clicking the new posts added to her feed.

Esme was posed in a selfie with four tickets in her paws, followed by a post from Harold - a short, dark-brown, scruffy-haired hound - from the previous night showing his family howling under the full moon, a caption reading: [this tradition is so overrated 🙄 would rather be out with you guys rn].

A new notification appeared at the top of the screen, indicating a message from "Pinky Winky." Pushing it, she read: [Hey, you alright? I can come by and give you a hand if that helps]

Loona typed back angrily: [No thank you, I'm alright] *She is SO dead,* she thought. Confidentiality was never to be assumed with Esme. Three gray dots blinked in succession at the bottom of the screen until a new reply appeared.

[Are you sure? You know I'm always available for you]

For the first time that morning, a feeling of warmth spread from her chest, a slight grin manifesting. Maybe Esme's big mouth wasn't so bad after all. [I appreciate it, Pink. But really, I've got it under control. Don't miss out on your job bc of me]

He began typing again. [Ok, just lmk if anything changes 🩷] Loona double-tapped the message, a smaller red heart emoji attaching to the bubble of text. Pinklie had always been good to her, even when she was a nightmare. He knew how to make her feel like less of a burden when times were rough. She wondered if either of them would get the courage to take things to the next level anytime soon; much had been left unspoken in the interest of maintaining friendship.

With a renewed vigor, she hopped out of bed once again, turning her doorknob and pulling it with a loud and swift *creak.* Blitzø still lay motionless on the couch, unconscious on his back. She moved past him, opening the fridge to fix some breakfast. A milk carton was left open, its revolting sour stench immediately assaulting her nose. Gagging, she dumped the chunky liquid into the sink, trashing the empty container.

Appetite now equally spoiled, she turned her attention to the mess around her. Memories began to flood her psyche, attempting to make sense of the chaotic sensory inputs it was experiencing. She thought about her dad's drunken rants, his distant look, his persona gradually slipping day-to-day, his full moon absences, his recent struggles with running I.M.P.

Loona knew little about Stolas' relationship with her father; but from what she did know, she understood that their dynamic was somewhat problematic. After Stolas divorced Stella, he'd really ramped up his incessant flirtations. Blitzø was always annoyed by this, yet it continued to escalate. Seemingly, he had no reason to believe that a prince would have reason to say such things other than to toy with him.

She never commented, but she noticed how he would beat himself up frequently when he thought no one could see or hear. His organizational skills were in decline, a repressed depression eating away at his capabilities. At first, it was a minute slip of his mask, occasionally interrupting his train of thought. He would usually excuse himself in these moments to express his humiliation privately.

Then came the outbursts; aggressive even for him, these reactions sparked some concern in Loona and her co-workers. Moxxie, in particular, seemed quite disturbed and tried to speak with him alone to no avail. It became increasingly clear that Blitzø would not open up and that everyone should walk on eggshells lest they burst the bubble to reveal the elephant in the room.

The worst memories in Loona's mind were waking up to him screeching at some imagined terror. He had been getting more and more nightmares, and something about these recent dreams was absolutely terrible. Of course, he denied that this occurred, both to her and himself, trying desperately to recover the facade of normalcy. His personality was fragile, his sanity illusory. Loona knew this but failed to make him admit that he was changing.

Beholding nearly two dozen empty bottles spread about the place, the odd feeling from earlier grew. Irritated by its ambiguity, she assumed it must be disgust and opted to clean up. Sweeping up piles and mopping up puddles, she realized the source of her angst was, of course, her father. He lay drooling into his expanding pillow of sogginess, odorous breath contaminating the air. Groaning, she reluctantly shook him.

Instead of words or wails, what escaped his mouth as he started awake was a sickly fluid. He sat up, spewing his stomach all over the couch and himself. After jumping back, Loona just sighed. This was a common enough occurrence that she had paid for an upholstery cleaner and heavy duty vacuum. He would otherwise have been content to lay in his own filth until he was forced to pay someone else to clean for him.

Blitzø coughed, a foul taste coating his tongue and throat. He collapsed back onto the couch, ignoring it all and returning to oblivion. There was no point in stirring him, as he was too trashed to be of any use. The television behind Loona continued to emit saccharine cheers and melodies, its varicolored light illuminating the imp in his sick. She gathered the necessary tools to wash up and began the grueling process of babysitting her father.

[unholy-screeching9]

NSFW WARNING! 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI.

💋

King Dice Aftercare Headcanons

King Dice Aftercare Headcanons (GAME)

King Dice is a very hardworking man, and he takes his job very seriously.

Well, not serious enough to refrain from sneaking quick peg sessions with you in the closet during his breaks, but serious enough that he will not waste time after he finishes.

“Sorry toots, you’re on your own. My break’s up.” And he’s out the door before you can even blink.

But on the chance that he does get to actually take things slow with you, and make LOVE to you instead of fucking you? He’s a true gentleman.

After he finishes, he will slip out of you, grab some tissues from a box he keeps at the ready on his nightstand, and he’ll clean you up.

He’ll wipe you down not just where his seed spilled on you and the sheets, but there is not a single spot where Dice won’t touch. He’ll make sure all that sweat and fluid is gone so you don’t wake up in the morning all sticky.

Then he’ll get you comfortable in bed, get up, walk to his connected bathroom, and grab some ice cold water for you to sip on. Sweating can make you dehydrated, and Dice does not want that for you.

“Drink up, sweetness. You need to keep yourself hydrated.”

Once he makes sure you are settled, he will slide back under the sheets with you, wrap his arms around you, and pull you into his chest.

You both are still naked, but the soft duvet combined with Dice’s body heat is enough to keep you comfortably warm.

During this time, the King is nothing but praises, whispering sweet nothings to you as he holds you close to him.

He will have you rest your head on his chest, twirling his fingers through your hair, gently pulling through any knots as he hums to you.

The humming slowly morphs into singing, his gentle voice luring you to slumber as his hand lovingly rests over yours.

Once he’s sure he put you to sleep, he will leave a kiss on the top of your head, and whisper a quiet “sweet dreams, darlin’” as his eyes slowly shut, and within seconds he is sound asleep with you.

King Dice Aftercare Headcanons (SHOW)

King Dice prides himself on being the absolute best. Because of this, he will make the experience of having sex with him TOP NOTCH, including aftercare.

When he’s sneaking a quick fuck between cue calls, he’ll leave you with a quick kiss on the cheek with a rushed promise that he’ll make up for his haste before quickly buckling his pants and composing himself

“So sorry, doll! I promise I’ll take care of you after the show.” With a wave, he’s gone, and back to his show host persona.

He keeps his promise, of course.

After his show, he’ll give you another round in his dressing room, and make SURE you finish with the best orgasm of your life.

He rides out the high with you, savoring every second of the orgasm with you before slowly pulling out, being very gentle. He wants you in as little pain as possible.

Once he composes himself, he’ll pull up his chair and have you sit, letting your legs rest as he searches his vanity for tissues and lotion (he has both, of course.)

“Easy does it, love. Just sit back, relax, and let me take care of you.”

He wipes you down thoroughly to remove the excess seed, but he stops there. He’ll take care of the sweat when he gets you home.

Once you’re back to reality, Dice swoops you up in his arms and marches out the door with you, where a limo is waiting to bring you back to his home.

Back at his place, he sits you on his bed, and runs a nice hot bath for you (with lots of bubbles!)

Not only does he wash all the sweat off of you, but he bathes WITH you, letting you cuddle against his chest as he gently washes the remnants of that day off of you.

Once you’re back in bed (after he dries you off and gives you his spare robe of course), he is sitting in bed with you, letting you rest against him as he wipes away the leftover makeup on your face.

“I know you’re tired my dear, but I don’t want your pores to be clogged. We don’t want your luscious skin to get damaged.”

Once he’s done, he lays down, and lets you lay on top of him. He purposefully did not put a pajama shirt on, because he knows how much you like to bury your face into his chest.

He pulls you against him, draping an arm over you as your legs entangle with his. With a yawn, he rests his other arm behind his head and rubs your back, whispering sweet praises to you.

Before you drift off, you mumble to him “you’re the best, King…” as you cuddle closer to his chest, closing your tired eyes.

Dice smiles lovingly as he watches you fall asleep, resting his head on top of yours.

He already knows he’s the best, many people tell him that on a daily basis, but hearing it from you personally never fails to make him fall in love with you all over again.

[5sosxqueen]

Luke Sick And They Don't Believe Him

< Part 1 , ~Part 2~ , Part 3 >

Fun fact: I hate the members calling each other "babe" or anything of the like now. The thought of it just makes me cringe. The only time I can see it and I don't feel strange about it is if I portray them to be in relationships with the other. Yes, that is in my fics at a later time.

Warnings: depictions of illness, awkward pet names, and some serious secondhand embarrassment

Written in 2018

Word Count: 1785

Updates are every Tuesdays and Thursdays

Also Available on Wattpad and AO3!!!

Part 2:

Michael's p.o.v:

      After Matt told us that Luke but still have to do the concert we were all beyond pissed. Management can seriously be utter dicks at times. More often than not, we hate them to be honest. Ashton and I felt so guilty about not believing him and thinking he was faking the entire time. If I could take it all back I would. I was the one that started it so I offered to take care of him since he got so sick.

     After a thankfully unproductive car ride, Luke and I filed onto the bus. "Luke, bud do you want to take a quick shower before getting ready for tonight or do you think there would be no point?" I asked him.

     "I don't think there would be a point in doing that just yet. I still feel pukey. I want to make sure I pretty much have it all out of my system, or at least attempt to, before getting ready. Well, hopefully I don't end up puking again. I just hope I don't end up getting sick on stage or even during the concert for that matter." He said sitting on the couch with an arm protectively around his stomach.

     "Do you want to lay down for a little while? I can get you a bucket. I'm going to get you something to drink whether you say you want it or not. You need to keep up your fluid intake so you don't become dehydrated and that's if you aren't already."

     "That would be nice. Thank you Michael. By the way what you said and the way you acted this morning was cruel and hateful, but I completely forgive you. I know how stressful stuff like this can be. Love you." I felt so guilty and upon hearing that my eyes welled up with tears. I quickly covered my mouth in an attempt to muffle a sob. I gently wrapped Luke in a tight hug as I cried.

      "I cannot tell you this enough. I am so sorry. I should not have acted like that nor told you that you were faking. You have never once done that I should not- I'm just so sorry Luke. Thank you for being so caring and understanding and willing to put up with my bullshit. I love you so much!" I sobbed out. "Now I'm going to get stuff to take care of you, so lay down get comfy and I will be back." I walked into the kitchen and grabbed the designated sick bucket, wiping the, still dropping, tears from my eyes. I grabbed a water bottle and walked back into the living room. Luke was now laying down in a fetal position with his arms tightly around his middle.

      He heard me come in and quickly propped himself up, with one hand covering his mouth, the other reaching for the bucket. I ran over to him and held it under his chin. The poor lad didn't even have to heave for whatever vomit was left in his stomach to pour out his mouth, with a sickening splatter onto the plastic bottom of the bucket. It wasn't a lot considering he had emptied it around an hour prior. After about 10 minutes of him heavily panting over the bucket, I asked if he was done and he shrugged.

      "I think so. I'm not 100% sure though." I nodded, considering he said something very similar before getting into the van. We now had less than 4 hours to go until the concert.

      "Here buddy rinse your mouth out. Try not to swallow it though it could be nasty. I've unfortunately done that before." He took the water gratefully and busted out laughing at what I said.

     He lightly smacked my arm before practically yelling "Damn you Michael! Don't make me laugh. It makes me feel sick again." I chuckled out a sorry.

     "Do you think you could handle taking some medicine?" I looked down at him waited a few seconds before he cocked his head slightly held up his finger. He hicurped and leaned over the bucket spitting bile into it.

     "I can try, but you know there's no guarantees." I nodded and got up to get the medicine. I brought back the stomach relaxers and open up his water bottle for him and handed them to him. He took them and 15 minutes later he was back wretching over the bucket. This process repeated until Matt walked on the bus and told us we have to get ready. We quickly got ready and left the bus and got to the stadium we were playing at tonight.

     It's nearing the time of our concert and all of us are very concerned. We have to do a quick sound check before the concert and we're going to try our best to help Luke feel better before hand. His symptoms are not letting up no matter how medicated he is because he just throws it back up. We have no idea how Luke is going to get through this concert mostly because he can't even stand on his own. Luke has been sick almost non stop all day.

Luke's p.o.v:

     "Luke, okay, management made sure that there will be a bin at all times next to the stage. They wanted me to let you know that if at any point you need to get off, just go. They also apologized that they couldn't get you out of this tonight." Matt told me. I furrowed my brow and nodded not currently trusting myself to open my mouth. "You ok?" I shook my head and placed my hand over my mouth. As weird as it seems, I memorized the places of the bins in the room upon entering. I gagged and ran over to the one next to the table in the room only bringing up a little bile. "Shit..." Matt walked over to me and rubbed my back as I dry heaved. "Boys get ready to head out I'll send him out when he's ready." I looked a deep breath and stood up.

      "I'm good. I can go out. Sorry about that and thank you for letting me know what management did and said." And with that I walked out with the boys onto the stage.

      To my surprise, there was a stool in the middle of the stage, where my spot is, that was also set up by management. I went and sat down on it and so far the audience was completely oblivious to my situation.

     "Now before we begin, I would like to bring up that Luke is actually really sick, he's been throwing up nearly all day and we apologize if at any moment he needs to run off stage." Micheal said learning a a ton of awes and feel betters from the audience.

     "Thanks guys... It means a lot. Fingers crossed that I don't have to run out tonight. I don't want to abandon y'all." I heard a lot of you won'ts and it's oks. "I'm sorry in advance if I do have to though. Ok let's get this started!"

     We started off the night with Jet Black Heart. I managed to get through that song without any problems, but by the time Waste the Night started my stomach was flipping yet again. Started sweating slightly causing myself to shiver and took off my guitar and set it down, quickly running off the stage with my band planted over my mouth. Ashton, having a somewhat similar voice to mine, ended up taking over my parts in my absence.

     Just as promised find management from Matt, there was a pre-placed bin. I launched myself forward clutching the large bin. I heaved for about 5 minutes and the rest of the band decided to distract the audience. They did not want to start another song without me there. Once I felt ready to come back, once again the audience awes at me. "Sorry about that guys. I'm still going to try to sing for you tonight." I rasped out to the best if my abilities.

      "Jeez, your voice is practically nonexistent buddy." Calum said worridly.

     "Mmmm. Ya I'll be back..." I said feeling last nights dinner rushing up my throat yet again. Only this time much quicker... I hadn't put my guitar back on so all I had to do was run off. I got about halfway there, but to my horror I couldn't make it I held my hand over my mouth as I heaved, vomit falling into my hand. I turned from the audience and dropped to my knees. I shot forward with I violent gag bringing up a lot. I was so embarrassed when I heard mixed screams and what sounded like crying. I wanted to both run off and apologize. I have never been so ashamed. All the boys and the stage crew ran up to me. They let me finish before helping me up. Matt went onto the stage as they helped me up.

     "We are so sorry. Luke extends his apologies. We do need to end the show early tonight. Everyone that is here tonight you are welcome to come back in a couple days, as we will be holding a concert to make up for this one." He explained.

     Once I was backstage I couldn't stop the tears from flowing... "I ruined the concert. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry... They going to hate me... God they probably do..."

     Aston pulled me into his embrace. "No honey they don't hate you nor will they ever. You didn't ruin anything. They were informed in the beginning that you were ill. Luke, it's ok babe, calm down." They boys all held me until my tears were dry. They ended up on the ground at some point and I felt my eyes drooping closed. I was in that awkward half asleep state when I felt someone pick me up and lay me on the couch.

Ashton's p.o.v:

     Luke was a complete mess once he was off the stage. He was in complete hysterics. The boys and I just held him until he fell asleep.

     Why we're in no hurry to leave since we were supposed to be here for a couple hours anyways.

     Matt walked into the room an hour layer to check him. "How is he?"

     "Asleep for now. This whole thing really took a toll on him. Poor thing." Michael said.

     "Let's get him on the bus guys." Calum said gently picking Luke up. I grabbed the while Michael prepped the bus yet again.

     Hopefully Luke will feel better when he wakes up...

[officeobject]

(An AI had to tell me how to hydrate myself properly, and I ended up info-dumping about this 30 year old stranger, hope this post helps :) )

So, I learned this from Bing AI:

"How to have balance between too much and not too much, hydration?

Copilot

Striking that hydration balance can be a bit of a dance. Here’s a plan:

Pee Check: Aim for pale yellow urine. Clear might mean too much, dark means too little.

Listen to Your Body: Thirst is a good indicator. If you're thirsty, drink up.

Regular Sips: Instead of gulping down large amounts, take small, regular sips throughout the day.

Mix It Up: Include hydrating foods like cucumbers, watermelon, and oranges.

Adjust for Activity: If you’re more active or it’s hotter out, you’ll need more fluids. Tune into your body's signals.

Set Reminders: Use an app or set alarms to remind you to take a sip.

Finding balance isn't about being perfect, but about being mindful. You're doing great just by asking these questions. Does this seem manageable for you?

How to have balance between too much and not too much, hydration?

Copilot

Striking that hydration balance can be a bit of a dance. Here’s a plan:

Pee Check: Aim for pale yellow urine. Clear might mean too much, dark means too little.

Listen to Your Body: Thirst is a good indicator. If you're thirsty, drink up.

Regular Sips: Instead of gulping down large amounts, take small, regular sips throughout the day.

Mix It Up: Include hydrating foods like cucumbers, watermelon, and oranges.

Adjust for Activity: If you’re more active or it’s hotter out, you’ll need more fluids. Tune into your body's signals.

Set Reminders: Use an app or set alarms to remind you to take a sip.

Finding balance isn't about being perfect, but about being mindful. You're doing great just by asking these questions. Does this seem manageable for you?"

And I kid you not, I used to gulp down the water - like, I have this mutual-staring 30 year old office worker in the window, alright? And they used to have a drink on their desk at times (was at their desk a lot whenever I was there to see), but since I bought a to-go office cup (for water, of course), I used to just sometimes be like "SHOTS, SHOTS, SHOTS, SHOTS, SHOTS", basically - like, just gulping down like I'm taking a sip of my ... beer, I think (I don't know, I never drank alcohol and never will), and also, this is why I'm tagging this with alcohol, even though it has nothing to do with it - so anyways, this dude began drinking more water, and, since they mirror my body-language (or because we have the same/we have it similar), they would ALSO sometimes take gulps of water, and I've learned that's UNHEALTHY, and now that I have a week without them, I'm gonna drink more water (but not too much), go to the bathroom more (just kidding, I'll just pee on the floor - just kidding again), and also will try not to drink like I'm a 20 year old staring at someone with that generic red cup in my hand at an American party.

Also, get yourself a damn reusable washable to-go coffee cup, unless you have something ELSE to re-use, as they can hold cold and warm drinks, and are easy to wash, and WILL spill (very good if you have enemies), and are easy to drink out of and you can look productive and professional - seriously, my 30 year old doesn't hydrate themself, and when they do, they have a fecking water bottle or a can of whatever, and I am SERIOSULY concerned for their health, even though they're a 30 year old who looks completely fine and can balance their work with our friendship or whatever it is, without even getting fired - also, they even have a watch, like, wow, very adult and professional - like, don't get me wrong, they ARE a childish and emotional adult who appears to have the "same species of brain" as me, but they've been mad at the computer, co-workers, etc, a lot - like, even more than the others, I think, and have also been overly emotional about it, and they've been just fine - and one thing I love about their existence, is that it proves I can be my clingy petty childish emotional unattractive bitchy loser-self, and STILL have a cool conventionally successful job with people who wanna sit with me and talk to me and a person to have intense platonic staring tension with, WITHOUT getting fired, and I hope that also gives Y'ALL hope - like, this dude can INSTANTLY change their mood, even for a few seconds, and THEIR FACE ISN'T EVEN EXPRESSIVE, A LOT OF THE TIMES! They talk with their hands a lot though ... wish they'd with ME a lot though - YOOOOOOOOOOOO -

But yeah, drink water an appropriate amount or you will die.

(Tagged with autism and neurodivergence, in case other people wanna know about hydration and an overly long TMI of a story).

[today3467h]

Low blood pressure — hypotension

Overview symptoms and causes, prevention and myths, diagnosis and treatment, faqs — All you need to know about it

Overview

Low blood pressure or hypertension is a medical state where the rate of the blood pressure in the arteries becomes lower than there normal. When the Mercury reading is 90 mm it is said to be normal blood pressure but when it starts declining it is the condition of low blood pressure.

The symptoms of hypertension start worsening with age and proper treatment is needed to provide or else it may lead to various severe complications in One’s body.

The abnormality of hypotension can affect your everyday life very badly and you may start feeling restless and have headaches all the time. Their food proper diagnosis and treatment at an early stage are really important to live a balanced healthy life as before.

Types of hypotension

low blood pressure or hypotension is majorly classified into the following types-

Postprandial hypotension -

postprandial hypotension affects people of older age for an hour or two when they have their meals. •

Postural hypotensiom -

orthostatic hypertension occurs in a person when they are standing or sitting for a long time in one place. The state majorly affects pregnant women and their common in all. • Multiple system atrophy hypotension — when abnormalities start occurring in the nervous system of the person’s body it leads to multiple system atrophy .

What are the various signs and symptoms to detect hypotension?

Hypertension people can majorly be seen with the following symptoms-

• Vision loss

• Fatigue

• Obesity

• Nausea

• Diarrhoea

• Restlessness all the day

• Fainting e

• Unable to concentrate at the workplace

• Dizziness

• Weakness and tiredness

• Demotivated

• Pale skin tone

• Shallow breathing

• Rapid pulse rate

Did to seek medical attention for hypotension?

Medical consultation is needed if anyone faces the above symptoms and does not show any kind of improvement within a few days.

What are the various causes that lead to low blood pressure or hypotension ?

Blood pressure depends on many Lifestyle factors like the way you sit, your stress level, your other medication consumption bad habits, or any kind of substance abuse. However, some of the most common causes of hypertension include the following of-

Being pregnant

• Dehydrated from inside

• Menstruation or some other reason of blood loss

• Genetics / hereditary

• Suffering from viral infections and allergies like septicaemia or anaphylaxis

• Hormonal imbalances

• Vitamin, fibre or some other nutrient deficiency in your body from a long time

• Consuming less sodium than needed

• Consumption of some other kind of medication or drug for a long time like water pills, alpha-blockers, beta-blockers, antidepressants and others

• Aged people have a chance to develop low blood pressure issues in their bodies automatically

Is low blood pressure preventable? How can I prevent hypotension?

The prevention of hypotension need not be extended a lot. You just need to take care of very basic things in your everyday life to stay healthy. Some of the precautional measures include the following-

• Stay hydrated. Drink a lot of fluids every single day

• Quit alcoholism, smoking or any other substance abuse if you do

• Without your doctor’s prescription please do not go for any kind of OTC medication or drug • Exercise regularly

• Have an adequate amount of sleep of at least 7 hours every day

• Practice yoga and meditation.

• Learn to manage stress

• Avoid exposure to toxins in the environment

• Avoid lifting heavy weights ( especially if you are a woman )

• Have a healthy diet with proper vitamins, fibre, calcium and essential nutrients

Some of the very common myths associated with low blood pressure -

Myth — low blood pressure is a very common issue and things need not be taken seriously

Fact — low blood pressure may not show its worst side in the beginning but in the long term it can even lead to death. Their food the symptoms of hypotension must never be ignored and doctor consults need to be taken at any cost.

Myth — low blood pressure affects only aged people

Fact — the risk of generating low blood pressure is more in aged people but it can affect people of any age even now the rate of children’s hypotension is also increasing.

Myth — if I feel restless all the time then I surely have a low blood pressure issue

Fact — this statement is not true. Yes, restlessness is one of the symptoms of low blood pressure but it is also the symptom of many other medical conditions. Only proper diagnosis can help in this state.

Myth — low blood pressure runs in my family so I can do nothing about it

Fact -yes chances may be higher for you to suffer from hypotension but it also depends on your lifestyle factors. If you choose to adapt yourself to a very healthy and fit life then nothing can harm you.

How do doctors diagnose low blood pressure/hypotension?

Doctors may ask questions about your symptoms and also go for various tests and examinations to detect your hypotension.

The following exams may be performed by the doctors-

Blood sample

• Urine analysis

• Study your past medical history

• Electrocardiogram test or ECG test

• Tilted table test

What treatments are available for low blood pressure/hypotension

Before treatment, one must keep in mind that blood pressure issues can never be solved completely and the disease can only be managed and reduced to a certain level.

The level of treatment also differs depending upon the stage at which you are currently in.

Doctors generally suggest the following treatment options-

• Compression elastic stockings

• Drugs like fludrocortisone and oven

• You may be suggested to hire a dietitian who prepare a proper diet plan for you which include protein-rich, fibre-rich, calcium-rich, vitamin-rich and other nutrient-rich foods and also with a low carbohydrate intake

• Sodium supplements

• Fluid supplements

• You can also be suggested to hire a body trainer to help you get a perfect body physique

Read More:-

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THESE MUSES ARE LOOKING FOR THEIR MISSED CONNECTIONS:

SEBASTIAN RIVERA is looking for ART HISTORY STUDENTS. they’d like the faceclaim to possibly be someone along the lines of UTP (any age is fine! these can be undergraduate or graduate students), but you must reach out to andante–andante to find out more!

NORAH RAJAN is looking for THEIR BEST FRIEND. they’d like the faceclaim to possibly be someone along the lines of JESSE RATH, MARTIN SENSMEIER, LUDI LIN, MANNY JACINTO, YAHYA ABDUL-MATEEN II, RAHUL KOHLI, SACHA DHAWAN, UTP (FCOC PREFERRED) AGED 33-37, but you must reach out to DADIISM to find out more! (wc and norah have been best friends since grade school. he’s always supported her and at some point moved in with her after high school (or college) to help her with the kids. he’s more of a father figure to them than their actual dad. if the chemistry is right, i’m all for a friends to lovers, it’s always been you sort of situation!)

ANGELO CORTES ESTRADA is looking for THEIR AA SPONSOR. they’d like the faceclaim to possibly be someone along the lines of STERLING K BROWN, AMY ACKER, MATT CZUCHRY, WENTWORTH MILLER, SARAH PAULSON, LANA PARRILLA, EDGAR RAMIREZ, DAVID HARBOUR, ANY FC 40+, but you must reach out to DADIISM to find out more! (as part of his parole, angelo attends aa meets. he isn’t very good at attending them and isn’t really taking it too seriously (he’s still drinking) but this person would have confidence in him and support him, probably calling/texting to check up on him when he misses meetings, etc)

DIEGO ROBINSON-ARMSTRONG is looking for THEIR BEST FRIEND. they’d like the faceclaim to possibly be someone along the lines of UTP 48+ (suggestions include Tracie Thoms, Michael Greyeyes, Daniel Wu, Gina Torres, Gabrielle Union, Byron Mann) but you must reach out to OFWISHFULTHINKING to find out more! (+ this connection is quite fluid. I just imagine supportive best friends. This is probably the one person who knows the extent of Diego’s recent business dealings – something that not even his husband knows. I imagine that they give him a lot of advice, and the two spend a lot of time together. They’ve probably known one another for years (they could’ve even met working at the hotel together in their 20s) and have remained close throughout the years. All in all, they’re each other’s person and know all of the other’s deepest darkest secrets!)

MALACHI DUBOIS is looking for THEIR MILITARY BUDS. they’d like the faceclaim to possibly be someone along the lines of UTP, but you must reach out to OFWISHFULTHINKING to find out more! (+ Mal’s been out of the military for nearly two decades now due to a medical discharge (info in his intro post), but he still attends groups at the VA and keeps up with his military buds. Once a month, they all get together to have some drinks and shoot some pool. I’m imagining some casual friendships. I’d also like if one of them was more of a close friend – maybe they work out together every day – someone Mal can confide in, who uniquely understands his circumstances and helps him with managing his PTSD!)

SEBASTIAN RIVERA is looking for A CONFIDANT/CLOSE FRIEND. they’d like the faceclaim to possibly be someone along the lines of UTP around late 30s or older, but you must reach out to andante–andante to find out more!

MAIA KELLY is looking for CREW MEMBERS. they’d like the faceclaim to possibly be someone along the lines of UTP, but you must reach out to FADEDSTARSFMS to find out more! ( Maia has been double crossed by latest crew, utp if they were a part of that or if they parted ways before that!) taken by landon dunn

EDGAR YANG is looking for THEIR CHILDHOOD BEST FRIEND. they’d like the faceclaim to possibly be someone along the lines of UTP 35+ (suggestions include Kendrick Sampson, Andrew Koji, Alexander Dreymon, Francois Arnaud, Dichen Lachman, Kristen Kreuk, Martin Sensmeier) but you must reach out to OFWISHFULTHINKING to find out more! (+ Edgar was born and raised in France. His family is well known as they’ve owned multiple wineries for generations. This person could either be someone whose family was in the same social circles, or even the child of someone who worked for the family. Either way, this was someone Edgar considered one of his best friends growing up. They likely lost contact when Edgar moved away after his 18th birthday, but are no reconnecting. What brings them to Denver is completely UTP!)

CARLEIGHA ORTIZ is looking for RIVAL. they’d like the faceclaim to possibly be someone along the lines of UTP preferably FCOC, but you must reach out to xallmywolvesx to find out more! (+ 32+ years old, the pair would have met in the children’s hospital ward way back when (16+ years ago) and have been adversarial ever since. The original cause is up for plotting or they just annoyed each other from the start and have continued to actively push each other’s buttons since!)

ESME LOOMIS is looking for THEIR CHILDHOOD BEST FRIEND. they’d like the faceclaim to possibly be someone along the lines of DEV PATEL, KIOWA GORDON, HARVEY GUILLEN, JAY HAYDEN, ANDREW KOJI, ANY FC 33-38ISH, but you must reach out to DADIISM to find out more! ( honestly most of the character can be your creation/utp! esme was definitely “one of the guys”/a tomboy growing up, so wc would’ve been her best friend. wc should either be from denver or have moved there at some point during school aged years (before the age of 18). they’ve been close ever since they met and wc would be like an uncle to esme’s ten year old daughter, alicia.

MOBILE NAVIGATION. WANTED CONNECTIONS. APPLICATION.

[cartanacia]

(Also written on the bus home 😭)

Oooh that is so cool...I love the contrasts you draw between them, that’s really similar to how I think of them too! 

(Just a random collection of thoughts now lol)

Diver is definitely the more laid-back of the two, but I also feel like in an especally serious or grim situation, that characteristic would kind of reverse for them, with Lander becoming focused and Stoic (in the philosophical sense rather than emotionlessness) as Diver starts to panic. I’m thinking of that scene where someone (I’m guessing Metalhawk? But I can’t remember) is like “you’re drinking? At a time like this?” and Lander responds, “I’m drinking because it’s a time like this.”

I totally agree with the part about Diver vs Lander on sticking to a schedule. I feel like Diver’s job is great for him because it involves a lot of waiting around, seeing what the animals need and reacting to them in a fluid way, figuring out what has to happen as the situation develops. Whereas Lander likes all his dates and parties because he gets to min-max his schedule with fun lol. I think Lander is a fan of high-effort excitement. If Diver and Lander went on a vacation together, I feel like Lander would have an itnerary and be trying to make sure they see everything there is to see while Diver just wants to wander and explore whatever happens to catch their interest. 

I feel like Diver isn’t exactly shy, but he doesn’t feel the need to talk to people much and just likes working with animals and using his hands. Compared to Lander, who derives a lot of energy from showing off and being cool and hot. Sort of like IDW Rodimus except toned down and focused on showing off through taste and distinction rather than flaming acts of Rodimusness. I have a Masterforce remake comic-type story bouncing around in my head where Metalhawk and Lander eventually go public about being aliens and handle all the media appearances and talking to governments and helping scientists that that involves (Metalhawk taking that responsibility Very Seriously, Lander reveling in the attention a little) while Diver and Phoenix stay private. 

Speaking of Metalhawk, I feel like he would be close with/ask for advice from each of the three other Pretenders for different reasons. I feel like he’s known Diver the longest and talks to him to just get a level-headed, calm view of a situation (or collaborating on a project related to biology or ecology ofc). He talks to Lander when he needs some more intricate, less intuitive ideas because he knows Lander knows a lot of eclectic and obscure stuff and tends to have more ambitious plans. In my mind Phoenix is pretty close with Lander but distant/estranged from Diver (for reasons I won’t get into now sdfjslf). 

Also this might not make sense, but I feel like a fundamental part of how I view Lander’s character is "sharpness”. I get some nebulous sense of “sharpness” from the way Lander talks to people and his sarcasm and his glasses and the way he pronounces the word “transform”. Whereas from Diver I get a nebulous sense of “roundness” (or “softness”?) from his robot form and his hoodies and his human face. I have no clue how to explain that further lol. 

HIIIII following a recent question I got (keep lookout for another post like this answering the other one sometime in the future, y'all 😌), I'm taking this opportunity to Finally explain specifics & thoughts I have about how Landiver works as a ship in my mind, why I ship them etc. No it's not justification because I will not be Not shipping these idiots anytime soon, Landiver and Ginhawk are two of like six total ships from all my fandoms that live rent-free and undebatably permanently in my mind thanksss <3

and so yea on that note, any of yall reading this don't have to agree with everything I say!! (Pls don't tell me what you disagree with tho I'm not gonna stop you from thinking what you will and all opinions are valid esp in the realm of like, fan-interpretation of fictional characters, but I am so full of anxiety I will be afraid and scared; I am just begging, don't point out what you don't agree with just leave me beeeeee)

I also realize a lot of this is my personal interpretations of them, which may or may not be entirely accurate (tho to be fair, we only rlly did get glimpses of who the pretenders rlly are as ppl, considering how plot-heavy a series it was; I'd say Hawk got the most attention in terms of that and even he doesn't get as much expansion as I'd have liked 😭) so....there's a lot of room for said interpretation imo.

But yea anyway, I'm talking purely canon Landiver (not gonna get into my AU anytime soon because it's relatively similar to this with more focus on different details bc they have different pasts and such in that....so yea)

Without further ado, my rambles are below the cut. Apologies for any grammatical errors, I typed this on my phone on the bus going home and while laying on my bedroom floor 😭✨

Enjoy! :']

///

I think they work as a ship for a bunch of reasons (I'm only gonna mention some of my thoughts about this because I don't wanna go on for too long 😳)!!!!!

One, their personalities being somewhere in the middle of "opposites" and "the same." Like not "yin and yang" kinda thing but they're also not the same type of person either. Lander might be more confident, talkative, and quicker to get emotional/heated about things compared to an exponentially more easy-going and level guy like Diver. But Diver isn't shy or unemotional, and he is most certainly confident in himself. Both of them Give 0 fucks™ but in different ways, I guess. In that regard, I feel like they also mix very well personality-wise. Lander is more interested in doing the talking, the ranting, etc. Diver says what he needs to in shorter ways in general, prefers listening and making input here and there, chuckling while Landmine fumes about some guy at work. However he might also be slightly more wordy when talking to Lander. Conversely, Lander might be more chill and show the "softer" sides of himself with Diver, the side that loses that usual "cool, confident, smooth guy" composure for example. Fumbles up his usual fast-paced talk because he's distracted w the guy in front of him (when they're in a mostly romantic mood, that is) Lander is certainly more organized and can be a little uptight about things going as they were planned to, whereas Diver (like me lmao 😭) is kind of just perpetually confused a little bit, and just going with it. But see, it doesn't seem that way because he always has this look about him that says to the outside world that he's got this and he is not fazed. He forgets stuff a lot, spaces out, dozes off, etc. Lander's got his back with that tho ✨

Diver isn't as emotional as Lander, so he's a great touchstone for Lander to center himself when he starts to panic or flip out about something. And he only lets himself do that with Diver because he feels like he can. And, being with Lander for so long has encouraged him to express himself and be emotional in his own way more often than before they met. Slowly, over time.

They have different interests for the most part, and aren't going to pretend they want to adopt every single one of each other's interests, but they have a mutual understanding of that, and enjoy the difference in tastes. So they just let each other be. Little things like: Lander's a city person, Diver's a nature guy. Lander prefers style and flashiness, Diver just wants what works, and doesn't mind. Lander is watching like five different dramas at once when he's not working his day job or out on missions, and Diver enjoys reading more (which might be because he's out on be boat or busy doing lots of really hands-on work with aquariums and such for his day job, spending less time than his partner does in an office doing paperwork). Diver will easily take a beer over an expensive wine Lander might've found, and Lander likes finer-quality alcohol, but both would be willing to have the other thing if they're hanging out together and one really wants to have their thing that night. And, they both love a good fistfight, enjoy physical touch as a primary (Diver) or secondary (Lander; his primary is actually gift-giving) love language, drinking, and collect cassette tapes together ✨

Also quick aside, but I HC they chose human bodies that put them around mid-to-late-40s. This is interesting because for example, Hawk has a body that puts him at like 23 (yes specifically 23 don't ask 😳) in human years, and Phoenix is mid-30s. Then we have the other humans characters who are actually just their age (Ginrai is 19, etc...) However, in Cybertronian years, the Pretender team are relatively like the same age, give or take a [cybertronian] year. This is another reason they are so easily connected in a way, because both in human years and cybertronian, they're around the same age, but especially as humans, they'd be not rlly old or super young. Idk how to describe it properly but maybe you know what I mean?? 😳

They are also incredibly playful with one another--always have been. Like, lowkey harassing one another (affectionately) and constantly joking around/making witty quips back and forth in their way, with a specific type of energy no one else has. In fact, they have energies that match in a way where they are as they always have been: like old friends. No one else quite gets it. They're just....a pair. Always together, which I feel like even in the anime you see them fooling around together and perpetually side by side. (Take that one bit where Diver grabs Lander and like ruffles up his hair....i love their vibe sm 😭✨)

They never descend into a serious argument because even their constant "bickering" isnt really bickering at all and more just making comebacks at one another over something on which they disagree, until one bursts into laughter and the other follows.

[Landiver in general is a whole different vibe to say, Ginhawk, both having intimately sweet moments but in very different ways.]

They are more than willing to bring it up when they don't like something/have something to talk about, not worried even for a moment what the other will think, because it will always be the safest place to simply talk it out amongst themselves. They would be hard-pressed to trust anyone else when either have somth serious to discuss. Maybe (hard maybe) Phoenix, since he's usually hanging out with those two when he's around (which is just not that often at all, I'll get into that in the other thread haha) and is somewhat a close friends...but usually it's just Lander and Diver. However even s, they rarely ever have to because they don't really have lines to cross with each other...they do not hold back when goofing around in their definitely shared sense of humor 😭💀✨

Also, I feel like it took them an extremely long time to actually formally get together just because...like, they've always been together anyway, but didn't really know how to go about,,, relationships in the official sense--if that was even something they wanted. It was on and off and on and off again for a while, Lander and Diver trying other relationships with other people for a long time (especially in the period of time after being separated to the different parts of the country once Lander got his new job over in New York and left where he'd been with Diver, again a whole separate thing I have HCs for which I touched on in my "In Relativity" fic; on that note I wanted to mention in both my AU and in canon, I HC Lander as bi and Diver as gay ✨). But they always found it didn't really....connect. over and over, both of them coming back together but not really being sure what it even was they had...and then something happens where it just clicks, and they realize, that...there isn't really anything else they should do. They do belong beside one another. They can be true only with each other, because when they are together, they are "home." As friends in a deeper, more intimate sense of that. Partners....lovers. But always friends, because they both think the whole relationship labels thing puts a wrench in the vibes. It's just very complicated to explain for them, but there's never been any kind of malice or struggle between them other than coming to the final conclusion how the answer has always been in front of them. They've known each other for centuries in our human terms, and they know they've been together forever in a sense, but sometimes it feels like they've known each other even longer.

(When they finally, formally got together, Ginrai and Phoenix just nodded to one another, like they've been waiting for this for ages, and Phoenix playfully punches Diver, who just starts laughing. Hawk, the other godmasters and the kids, are all just happy for the two)

(⁠◍^w^◍⁠) 💗✨

[petersbaby]

This is FOUL. I am warning you right now so don’t come to me saying this was too weird or gross, this is for the ppl with piss kinks because I know y’all are out there. I offer you this in solidarity

WARNINGS: 18+ piss play, oral m receiving

This is your last warning 💀

-

“Cmon, just tell me what it is, you’re killing me with curiosity”, says your friend with benefits with an amused expression.

“Oh my god, no. Seriously drop it” you were turning red from embarrassment as you stand by listening to him try to guess your secret kink. You hadn’t really meant for it to be a special secret, it was just something too unconventional to casually say so you’ve kept it to yourself as long as you’d had it. You’d both had a couple of drinks, and somehow landed on the topic of kinks and fetishes.

He told you his, and honestly, they were kinda vanilla. You were absolutely not gonna go there with him because he’s so innocent compared to you.

“Okay okay, let me guess.” He starts naming off random things trying to catch your attention with the right one. “Being tied up? Being choked? Daddy kink? Spanking? Hair pulling?” He kept going and going.

“I mean I do like those things but nope. It’s too gross, I don’t wanna tell you”, you are becoming amused yourself watching him ponder every possible answer you could possibly give him.

“Gross. That’s a hint. Hmm. Spit. No?”, you shake your head. “Uhhh blood? Some kind of bodily fluid? Piss???” He was halfway joking, but you shifted in your seat as he said the last guess. Mortified. His face lights up as he feels accomplished for figuring out your “big secret”. Then came the concern.

“That’s a new one. Umm, yeah I wasn’t expecting that.” You can tell he’s just surprised and not actually judging you. He was very sweet and was very open and receptive to what you liked in bed, he just wanted to please you and make you happy.

“Yep. Can we switch the topic now, or…” you want to crawl into a cave and never come out. He absolutely thinks you’re weird. Perverted, sick.

“Hmm no, not that easy. Is that…something you want to try with me? What do you even do?”, he asks curiously.

“There’s a lot of things you can do, but I don’t want to if you’re even the slightest bit uncomfortable with the concept.”

“I’m not uncomfortable, hell I might even end up liking it myself. Just show me?” His sweet tone when talking about such a perverse topic was almost comical, you giggle to yourself as he arches his brows, totally serious.

“Hm. Okay, well to start out I have a non-messy way to do it. We gotta take a shower together.” You were a little bold and not as shy as usual because of the slight buzz you had from the alcohol.

“Easy enough, sounds good”, he replies. You’d showered with each other a couple of times in the past, so it was comfortable as you both stripped once reaching the bathroom. You stepped into the tub as he followed, there was a silence in the room but it wasn’t an awkward one. He was already starting to get hard, not trying to be subtle while staring at your naked body. He’d seen it many times but was still enamored with it.

You kissed him passionately for a minute, which got you rather worked up. You pull away from the heated kiss, much to his dismay, to then get down on your knees in front of him. You sit back, resting on your ankles for support, and open your mouth with your tongue out wide. You look up at him expectantly, watching as the cogs turned in his head and the pieces came together. Click.

“In-in your mouth? I don’t even know if I can, you kinda got me hard.”

“Yes, just try.”

He closes his eyes to really focus, he was nervous but excited to make you happy (and horny). A few moments passed before he groaned and his piss began to hit your tongue, which was still sticking out, and run down your chest. You collect some of the warm liquid and groped your own breasts, rubbing it on your tits, massaging them and pushing them together before making sure to catch the rest in your mouth, enjoying the salty and semi sour taste and the sensation of the warmth going down your throat.

At this point, he’s watched the whole thing and if he wasn’t hard before, he absolutely was now. He looks at you, still on the floor in front of him, almost in awe. “That was-yeah you’re right that was really hot.” You just smiled, licking the head of his length and collecting the small droplets still lingering before taking him into your mouth, at which he groans and braces himself with his hand on the shower wall.

“Oh my god, fuck, so good. Please.” He grabs a fistful of your hair and begins moving your head to the rhythm he wants, fucking in and out of your mouth, using you as a sex toy after using you as a toilet. The depravity drove him crazy, he was just feral at this point and so desperate to unload into your mouth. You liked being used, you just let it happen as he handles you roughly, mascara starting to run as unintentional tears fall down from the repeated gagging on his cock.

It didn’t take long at all, and soon after it started he was spilling into your mouth, down the back of your throat. You nearly choked on it, there was so much and it just kept on coming, but swallowed every bit. He offers a hand to help you to your feet, and he turns on the water. Warm, not scalding but still really warm, it felt amazing as it washed over your body. He wraps his arms around your waist from the back as you washed the makeup off your face, relaxing into the heat of the water and the heat coming from his body pressed to yours.

-

Once you’re both clean, warm, and in pajamas, you crawl into bed together and decide to get a little high while watching a movie. “So… yeah. That’s that”, you said meekly. He hadn’t said a word about the whole experience and you were afraid he didn’t enjoy it. He just laughs, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

“You said there are several different things you could do, I’m excited to try them all out.” You nodded and snuggled deeper into his chest.