#i swear that this will not become a choices fan page
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i’m sorry but i have become a harwin and laena hater because of their stans. they’re so annoying, making everyone think their headcanon are canon when it’s not, annoying everyone with it. i just can’t. ‘harwin was better than daemon’ when and where???? ‘daemon only loved laena’ when and where??? ‘laena was never a second choice’ hum but daemon married her because viserys said no to rhaenyra and him which, by definition, does make her a second choice…
the dick riding for harwin and laena is insane i just cant anymore. some of laena stans wish rhaenyra had died instead of laena, i swear. and for harwin? what did he do? what do we know about him? the two of them have not even one page PLEASE. again love who you want but this is starting to annoy me so much how they’re ditching daemyra and rhaenyra/daemon as individual characters for laena/harwin who are not even that important
Hi there and sorry for this delay ☺️
I have to say that because I have not searched the tags and have avoided reading anything since Redacted came out for I would argue obvious reasons, so I have only ever seen the Laena stans. Being here since 2018 I can tell you that Harwin stans were not a thing prior to redacted. No one cared about him, no one gave a f_ck. You actually had a LOT of Criston stans - I wonder why since so many outspoken bfn and "intellectuals" are anti targ 🙄 - some Daemon stans but Harwin was not even an afterthought.
Laena stans, however, those I know and WOW. Just today I saw a post about how people prefer characters they can insert into rather than characters with too many flaws and personality that they can't really insert to and the example for Rhaenyra was Alicent.
I laughed because clearly this is about redacted. Any asoiaf fans know that Laena was always the unsalted bread to Rhaenyra's personality that people loved to self insert into to the point where if you first read the fandom takes and then the book, you would think "B:tch I want my money back! 'Cause none of that is in here!"
For what is worth, however, in my fic "The Year of the Red Spring" I do not romanticise what was going on between Harwin and Rhaenyra, and he's not painted on the best light and I had a total of 0 Harwin stans complain. You know who did come to spew BS and have a temper tantrum however? A so-called "Daemyra fan" who seems to think she's reading "Pride and Prejudice" whose idea of Daemon is Matt but with a hard d:ck and thinks its fine to go around fanfictions to insult the authors - because I know I was not the only one she has done this to. And if she ever reads this, you should to get off the internet and learn how to re-direct your anger.
So in a sense, because the Harwin stans are actually Harlose stans and because I don't care about redacted and its characters I... I don't care 🤷🏽♀️ I have yet to encounter real BS about canon Harwin Strong so I can't have strong feelings there. Repeating myself for most of my fandom experience he was ignored and treated like a disposable vibr_tor or less while Laena was made out to be the main character 🤷🏽♀️
#harwin strong#canon harwin strong#the rogue prince#the princess and the queen#fire and blood#pre asoiaf#popcorn answers
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2009
The sun beat down from the sticky summer sky, causing Florence to shield her eyes from the bright rays of light. A second skin of sweat clung to her freckled skin, the humidity a palpable presence in Musella, Georgia. At sixteen almost seventeen, it was never her first choice as a summer vacation smack dab in the middle of peach season, but her parents always insisted. It was important for her to spend time with her grandparents, and she knew that, but god was it hot in the South.
She’d spent the better part of the morning with her grandmother, canning some of the freshest harvest in the kitchen, but she’d managed to carve out some time for herself right after lunch. Inconveniently the hottest part of the day, but she’d take what she could get. She shuffled out to the pasture, knowing Rosie would find her soon enough. She made herself at home underneath the big oak not too far from the stable, pulling out the book she’d brought along with her. A small, mewling moo came from her left, and she smiled at the sight of Rosie, a white and black highland calf, loping towards her happily. It’d become a routine for them over the past few weeks for Florence to read beneath the shade of the biggest tree in the pasture, with Rosie curled up behind her head like a pillow, occasionally licking lazily at the pages of her current read.
“Come here, you,” she said, crouching down to greet her only friend on the farm. She dropped her book to the side, welcoming Rosie’s huge head into her arms, giving her good scritches up and down the coat on her back until she earned a sloppy kiss on the cheek from the enthusiastic calf. “Yuck,” Florence laughed, pushing her head gently to the side, though that did nothing to deter the little cow.
She settled down fairly quickly considering, curling up with enough room for Florence to rest her head against her. She cracked open her book, giving Rosie one last little pat before settling down, leaning back against her cow pillow, resting her book against her knees while she read herself to sleep.
✿
She opened her eyes to blue. She blinked against the sun letting herself adjust to the sight of the boy bent down in front of her. Eyes the color of the sky stared at her from above. She blinked, still dazed from sleep, wondering if this was still a dream.
“What?” she managed to get out, wiping her mouth in case she’d drooled while sleeping.
“Looks like she likes you,” the boy said with a big, crooked smile. Brown curls crowned his head, dark lashes fanning out from his ocean eyes.
“She loves me,” Florence corrected without missing a beat, sitting up, which was met with a small moo of protest from Rosie. “Are you new here?”
The boy’s brows flickered up in amusement as he settled into his stance, leaning his weight heavily on the shovel he held in one hand, work gloves covering his surely calloused hands. “My first summer working with the Underwood’s. Are you new here?” he countered with a sly smile.
She looked up at him from her place on the ground, the sunlight silhouetting him with a halo of light. She wouldn’t admit it to him, but the way his tattered t-shirt clung to his farm built body had her staring more than she knew was appropriate. She bit at her lip in thought, tilting her head to the side as she said, “The Underwood’s are my grandparents.”
If stumbling in place was possible, he did it, almost dropping the shovel he held while trying to frantically pull off the muck stained glove of his free hand. “Oh, shit,” he muttered as he shoved the glove into his back pocket, uselessly wiping his hand on his equally dirty jeans. “I mean — excuse me, ma’am, sorry, let me help you up.” He offered her his hand. She smiled.
“I didn’t mean anything by that, I swear.” He said as he pulled her up, her weight nothing against the strong muscles in his arms. She caught her breath as he yanked her off the ground, her body almost flush against his, only for a moment. “I was just messing with you, Miss Underwood.”
She dropped his hand, the heat between their skin too much for her in the moment. “It’s Walsh, actually. But, I prefer Florence.” She dusted herself off, grabbing her book from where it rested next to Rosie, wanting to avoid the possibility of her snacking on any of the pages. She glanced over at him with a squinty half-smile, still battling the sun’s glare. “Don’t apologize. And feel free to mess with me all you want.” With a small wave, she started walking back up towards the main estate. From behind her, she heard small sounds of protest from both Rosie and the farm boy. Her smile grew, and she hugged her book to her chest.
It wasn’t until she got back to the house that she realized she had walked away before ever getting his name.
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Beginnings...
This page is going to be a page full of thought drop bullshit. Here's a bit about me. My names Samm, though I have been thinking of changing that for years. And now for an info dump:
I am a pet groomer who is studying to become a Death doula/Death midwife.
The career choices may seem random but they do have significance.
I have a deep love for anything creative; reading, writing, music, embroidery, leather work, gem stones/jewlery, cosplay, and a million ects.
Dog grooming goes hand in hand with my love of creativity, the death doula work may seem a bit more out there.
I found out shortly after making the decision to start school that I was picking up a family torch that had been dropped a few generations back as my family were Death Sitters, while I find that amazing I am glad that in the age we live in I am glad I am able to find a way to use my creativity to help people and their loved ones on the journey between this world and the next.
My biggest escape has largely been books through my entire life and they have helped shape me into who i am. I have been on a journey through the Cosmere for the past year and have gained a bit of an obsession with the universe and Brandon Sanderson works in general. While he is my favorite author at this point there are many others that hold special places in my heart, 99.9% being fantasy.
I am considered by most to be on the Punk/Alt side of things. I am pretty covered in piercings and tattoos. I love rock/metal music but people always seem surprised that I am also a huge indiepop fan as well.. I love finding new music especially from around the world. One of my favorite bands that I'd be happy to show some love to is Bloodywood- they are an Indian folk metal band that are absolutely incredible, if you choose to listen to them make sure you check out the translation for the lyrics.
I have a partner of almost 6 years whom is the most amazing person and I am so lucky to have them. Together we have 3 pups, all being rescues from sad situations. Creed was a bottle baby who I bottle fed from 2 weeks old, Thor is the sweetest boy who was used by addicts as a "tester" and had to go through puppy rehab before coming home and Fenrir who was kept in a tiny space with kerosene heaters (he smelled for ages). My last 2 pups are part of the reason I tell people do to their research and think long and hard before naming pets/kids after gods. I swear they take on traits of their namesake.
ok I think thats enough shit about me. I think I just needed to have a place to put shit that I cant really put anywhere else.
Per Aspera Ad Astra- Through Hardships to the Stars.
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꒰⠀⠀⠀⠀greta onieogou. thirty-one. cis woman. she/her.⠀⠀⠀⠀꒱ hold your f*** horses ! yulia adamu has just been spotted walking into revolution headquarters . she’s best known for being an r&b singer and has been signed with the label for seven years . she shares a lot of interesting things about life in the music industry on her social media , so make sure you don’t forget to follow her at @yulia . fans know her for being goofy but i swear she’s got a fickle side as well . maybe that explains why she’s always associated with bedroom walls covered in r&b vinyl’s , a notebook half full with lyrics she’s too afraid to sing , and contagious laughter echoing through hallways . stan twitter even voted her most likely to marry a fan . we’ll see how they live up to that reputation .
tl;dr. statistics. pinterest.
——— tw for anxiety , forced drug use , addiction , rehab .
the start.
growing up , yulia’s parents made sure she was never aware of their struggles — and struggle they did , especially for the first few years of her life . it started with her father being laid off after an injury left him unable to work , leaving them with no choice but to put what should’ve been their forever home up for sale just before yulia was born . he was eventually able to find a desk job but the pay was minimal at best and because her mother was newly postpartum at the time , he insisted she didn’t work .
despite the financial hardships that followed , the moving around that continued years after yulia was born , the whispered arguments they’d have after putting her to bed , they eventually got to a point where they could rest easy . her dad had a corporate job and her mom worked from home to make raising her a little easier on the both of them and , all things considered , they were finally in a good place .
yulia was young when she first fell in love with music and singing and she made sure everyone knew it . if she wasn’t belting out a whitney or mariah song , she was writing terrible lyrics in her journal or borrowing her aunt’s karaoke machine for weeks at a time . it got to a point where her dad was buying her new notebooks every week and when he realized she wanted to take singing seriously , he signed her up for vocal lessons .
high school was mostly uneventful for her and outside of a short lived relationship , yulia focused on her schoolwork more than anything . her parents made sure she knew that as long as she put in effort and didn’t flunk any of her classes , they’d support her dream of singing wholeheartedly . she did as they asked and they kept their word , even packing up their things and moving to new york so she’d have a better chance at becoming a singer like she wanted .
it was around this time that yulia started posting singing covers to youtube , ranging from ballads like i have nothing and a natural woman to r&b classics like 4 page letter and next lifetime . she gained a decent amount of viewers from it but it wasn’t until after she’d graduated that her dad recorded her singing an original song at an open mic night . after he convinced her to post it , things really took a turn .
first deal.
she was in her sophomore year of college when the video her dad posted blew up . it started doing numbers online and was shared around more than she ever expected so it was surprise to no one but her when she was approached by a reputable label . she attended a few very long meetings , met with a few different lawyers , and after one final emotionally charged meeting , yulia was signing her first record deal .
things were great until they weren’t . she got to write her own songs and record them , had a large role in preparing for her first few shows and eventually a tour but yulia learned the hard way that it was all too much too fast . going from a girl that blended into a crowd by choice to being on stage in front of thousands of people was something she wasn’t prepared for .
what started as stage fright before every show turned into her popping a pill or two to calm her nerves . being able to get through a concert without having a panic attack and without feeling high led her to believe she had it under control . little did she know , the people around her saw an opportunity and ran with it . a pill dropped into a coffee here , a little alcohol mixed with soda there and without even realizing it , yulia had become addicted .
it wasn’t until she was visiting her parents right after completing her first tour that she finally realizes something was wrong . her parents question her about her apparent change in attitude and yulia admits she used to take pills to help with anxiety . however , after learning she’d stopped doing so just weeks after she started , her mom requested she get tested just in case .
what came next was a long list of things yulia never imagined she’d have to deal with so early into her career , or ever for that matter . first she checked herself into rehab , having realized she was actually addicted to the stuff she thought she’d stopped taking long ago . when she was released , she spent months getting out of her contract with her label and while she was eventually successful in doing so , she wasn’t able to gain rights to her music ( something she’s still fighting for even today ) . the whole situation was thankfully kept out of the media , partially because her lawyer threatened lawsuits against anyone who spoke about it and partially because the label didn’t want the bad press .
at twenty two , yulia had already been through the ringer . she’d spent months in rehab , had seen the inside of a courtroom more than she’d ever planned to in her life , continued to struggle with addiction despite being clean . however , she managed to graduate from college with a degree and high honors , all while writing and recording the most personal songs she’d ever made .
her self titled sophomore album was released independently , to the surprise of everyone . it was well received , old fans and new ones appreciating how raw it sounded compared to her first album . shortly after the release , yulia was contacted by someone from revolution about possibly signing a deal and while she was hesitant at first , so much so that she didn’t give them an answer until a month later , she eventually decided it’d be good for her .
revolution.
her time at revolution records proves fruitful . from the creative freedom to the support she’s received in the seven years she’s been there , yulia is glad she didn’t let past experiences get in the way of a good thing . she’s eleven years into her career now . though she has six albums in total , she’s working on her fifth one as a revolution artist . she’s often cited saying she feels nothing but gratitude for her label and that she hopes anyone trying to join the music industry is as lucky as her .
everything that happened with her first label is still a secret to the public but the lyrics from her sophomore album and the albums that followed have alluded to it . she doesn’t know when or if she’ll come out about the entire thing but yulia has made it a point to take new artists under her wing , letting them know that should something happen , they’ll always have someone in their corner .
personality.
making other people laugh is free serotonin to yulia . she loves to joke around , play ( harmless ) pranks on people , and just do what she can to put a smile on people’s faces . the older she gets , the less patience she has and it can occasionally translates to her being snappy or short with people . yulia is very easy to talk to . she’s a people person through and through and it shows in her friendly demeanor . as much as she loves to be surrounded by others , whether they’re talking or just hanging out in comfortable silence , she doesn’t actually say anything personal unless you’ve been close for years . she is always on the defense , the need to protect herself remaining strong after what happened with her first label . as much as she loves love in any form , yulia can be very fickle . she doesn’t let herself get close to people that often , preferring to bow out gracefully instead of opening herself up to possible heartbreak or betrayal .
headcanons.
she has a three year old rottweiler she adopted named toothless�� . he came from a bad place originally and while yulia wasn’t planning on actually adopting , she knew his age and his breed were working against him . yes he has teeth , though he is missing two on the bottom .
she wants kids so bad . she’s known her whole life that she wanted a big family , especially considering she was an only child . yulia wants kids so much she’s seriously contemplating going on hiatus so she can adopt or something .
she used to spend her summers in russia with her extended family and while she obviously can’t spend that much time there at once anymore , she still likes to go often .
#revolution.intro#intro: yulia.#not using fancy tags for intro posts bc tumblr hates me#anyway this too 9 years and i am . so sorry for how long it is#tldr is available though don't worry#wow not the typo in the tags#took not too
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Book: Dawnlands
Author: Phillipa Gregory
Series: Fairmile, #3
Publisher: Atria (Simon & Schuster),
Length: 526 Pages
Overall Rating: 5/5 Stars
Blog Rating: 5/5 Saltire Stars
In this book it is 1685 and England is bursting at the seams where civil war is in the near future. Furthermore the current King Charles II has passed away without a child (heir) so the new King is his brother James.
However there are many not happy about this decision and are not welcoming their new King or his young bride. This eventually starts a rebellion where William of Orange and his wife, who is also King James' daughter, becomes Queen.
Ned Ferryman is happy hearing of a rebellion against the Stuart Royalty returning from the colonies with his Indian servant to join the uprising against Jacobite catholic King James. As Ned swears honor to the Duke of Monmouth, he finds a new love.
Queen Mary brings her friend Livia to a terrified court. Livia hauls her son Matthew and his foster mothers Alinor and Alys to save the queen from Monmouth's invasion, and Matthew is gifted with the Manor of Foulmire: on the tidelands where Ned, Alinor and Alys had made bad choices and impoverished living.
Therefore, Alinor is lady of the house, now Ned leads into the last battle between the royalists and commoners, praying for freedom. A powerful story of power, betrayal, deception, intrigue, and more.
Been reading Gregory’s books for years as well as I have watched many shows on Starz too. She always writes a story that is absolutely awe-inspiring, unforgettable and extraordinary! It is almost like getting a history lesson in school that is absolutely exhilarating! Her phenomenal books are always a brilliant masterpiece! As this Dawnland novel is spectacular, a book Gregory fans do not want to miss!
A book any lover of history and fiction will absolutely love!
Disclaimer: I received an advance reader copy from Atria (Simon and Schuster) publishers. I voluntarily agreed to do a fair review and blog through netgalley. All thoughts, ideas and words are my own.
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Incoming Text for Keira Knightley:
Hey, Keira! It's me, Angelo.
Can I ask you a question? I wanna know why are you an atheist?
I swear, I was shocked and heartbroken when I discovered this on your wikipedia page, I was reading it, being a fan of your work and all, and then BAM!! What do I see? The word ATHEIST, I wanted to vomit.
Whenever I encounter Atheists, I start to feel nausea and I wanna vomit. You have been one of my favorite British actress but the day I found out that you were an atheist, I felt so bad for you because that's how people end in eternal HELL in the afterlife.
Here are a few questions that will wake you up from your silly choices on this earth:
1- You do know that there is Hell, right?
2- You do know that the party will end once you enter the grave in a cemetery, right?
3- You do know that Angels are real, right?
4- You do know that Heaven is real, right?
5- You do know that you will be questioned on Judgement day, right?
6- You do know that you can deny the existence of God all you want but He owns you, you can't deny Him, He owns your soul, your body, your heart, your limbs, your eyes, all of these belong to your MAKER, you know that, right?
7- Nothing really belongs to you, you are the property of God, you know that, right?
8- Once you die, there is no turning back on earth to do good this time and believe in God this time, like you will be saying 'PLEASE GOD, LET ME GO BACK TO EARTH TO DO GOOD THIS TIME', once you die, the game is over, you can't take that back, it's like asking for a rematch to return to earth, but what you don't know is that once you die, there is no rematch, you will be going to Hell for all eternity, you know that, right?
9- Do you have pride? Do you get upset when you offer a gift to someone and that person refuses to be grateful to you? How does that make you feel? It makes you super angry, doesn't it? When you see ungrateful people, you become angry and say things like: "How ungrateful these people are, I gave them this gift and they didn't even say THANK YOU! - Well, my dear Keira, right back at ya! Guess what? You are that ungrateful person and you refuse to acknowledge the God that has created you and given you the gift of life, and what you don't know is that God has PRIDE and you have hurt His PRIDE when you refuse to acknowledge His existence and also refuse to acknowledge that He gave you the gift of life, do you see where I'm going with this? You are in big, big, big, trouble and don't ever think that you will get away with your atheism, there will be a recknoning.
The phrase "don't ever think that you will get away with your atheism, there will be a reckoning" suggests a belief that those who do not adhere to a religious faith, specifically atheism in this context, will face consequences or judgment at some point in the future. It implies a belief in divine punishment or accountability for one's beliefs or lack thereof. The term "reckoning" typically refers to a settling of accounts or a time of judgment and evaluation of one's actions or beliefs.
10- I have a question for you, are you alive right now? The answer is YES, you're alive right now. So why don't you use this time to fix your relationship with God? Go to a church and join the Christians, it's a good start, do something, don't just stay there like a dumb woman, you're a very smart woman, I know that because I see the way you carry yourself. You are a virtuous woman by nature, I know that because you are never seen in the media, the only time we see you is when you have a movie in theaters and after that you go back to your reclusive life, so yeah, I know you, Keira, you are like the singer Sade Adu, you are another reclusive British celebrity and I respect that about you but you have chosen to be an atheist and that is something you have to seriously change about yourself because you will end in Hell in the afterlife if you don't change your belief system while you're still alive, because once you die, there is no rematch, there is no turning back to earth. I hope my message will make you realize your huge mistake and you will do something to fix your faith because there are so many things that happen to you in your way of thinking, the way you think is largely influenced by your atheism. If you continue down this path of atheism, you will suffer in the afterlife. You have the liberty of choice, I hope you will make the right choice.
11- I never chase you because you're an atheist, you know that, right? If you were a Christian woman, I would've been in your DMs, trying to make you mine, trying to be your boyfriend but the day I discovered that you were an atheist, I never looked at your photos again, I was spooked. Dating Keira, It's like dating a member of the Addams Family, the Atheist people, that's how they make me feel, they make me feel like I'm sitting with the Addams Family because there is no faith in them, they're faithless. So yeah, if you were wondering why I never tried to date you? It's because you are a member of the Addams Family, well, sort of, that's how the atheists behave, like the Addams Family.
12- You will join the team of Christian women like Taylor Swift and Katy Perry and Beyoncé, they will hold your hand. They will teach you a lot about their faith and hopefully you will see the light.
Okay, this is the end of my conversation.
Love you, Keira! Have fun, big hug for you!
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Wait... is Dean Goeffe Raife's twin? 'Cause that'd be a wild plot twist. I know Dean Goeffe doesn't look that old, but maybe she uses magick to appear younger idk, that's the only thing that makes sense to me if I think of her possible motivations for working with Raife.
#te#choices#dean goeffe#theory#beckett harrington#shreya mistry#zeph hernandez#aster finally made an appearance#love beckett#griffin langley#non writing#random#1 am thoughts#is this really plausible or am i just that idiot to think this#raife looks like those persons that hit really hard on krokodil and crack#i will post a wip update soon#if anyone cares#i swear that this will not become a choices fan page#play choices#the elementalists
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Lingthusiasm Episode 65: Knowledge is power, copulas are fun
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. The pen is mightier than the sword. Knowledge is power, France is bacon. These, ahem, classic quotes all have something linguistically interesting in common: they’re all formed around a particular use of the verb “be” known as a copula.
In this episode, your hosts Lauren Gawne and Gretchen McCulloch get enthusiastic about copulas! This is a special name for a way of grammatically linking two concepts together that’s linguistically special in a lot of different languages: sometimes it’s a verb that’s super irregular (like be/is/was in English, Latin, and many other languages), sometimes it’s several verbs (like ser and estar in Iberian and Celtic languages), sometimes it’s a form of marking other words (like in Nahuatl, Auslan, and ASL), and sometimes it’s not even visible or audible at all (like zero copula in Arabic, African American English, and Russian). We also talk about some of the fun things you can do with copulas in English, such as the lexical gap that’s filled by “ain’t”, the news headline null copula, and the oddball philosophical experiment known as E-Prime.
Click here for a link to this episode in your podcast player of choice or read the transcript here.
Announcements: We're doing another online Lingthusiasm liveshow on April 9th (Canada) slash 10th (Australia)! (What time is that for me?) It will be a live Q&A for patrons about a fan fave topic: swearing! We'll be hosting this session on the Lingthusiasm patron Discord server. Become a patron before the event, and it will also be available as an edited-for-legibility recording in your usual Patreon live feed if you prefer to listen at a later date. In the meantime: tell us about your favourite examples of swearing in various languages and we might include them in the show!
LingComm Grants are back in 2022! These are small grants to help kickstart new projects to communicate linguistics to broader audiences. There will be a $500 Project Grant, and ten Startup Grants of $100 each. Apply here by March 31, 2022 or forward this page to anyone you think might be interested, and if you’d like to help us offer more grants, you can support Lingthusiasm on Patreon or contribute directly. We started these grants because a small amount of seed money would have made a huge difference to us when we were starting out, and we want to help there be more interesting linguistics communication in the world.
If you want to help keep our ongoing lingthusiastic activities going, from the LingComm Grants to regular episodes to fun things like liveshows and Q&As, join us on Patreon! As a reward, you will get over 50 bonus episodes to listen to and access to our Discord server to chat with other language nerds. In this month’s bonus episode we get enthusiastic about character encoding! We talk about the massive list of symbols that your phone carries around, how that list (aka Unicode) came into existence, and why it's still growing a bit every year. Listen here! Here are the links mentioned in this episode:
France is Bacon dot com
Etymonline entry for copula
Lingthusiasm Episode ‘Schwa, the most versatile English vowel’
Wikipedia entry for copulas in Germanic languages
Etymonline entry for ‘be’ and ‘is’
Lingthusiasm Episode ‘That’s the kind of episode it’s - clitics’
Etymonline entry for ‘ain’t’
The Copula Systems of Western European Languages from a Typological and Diachronic Perspective - Britta Irslinger
Wikipedia entry for copulas in Chichewa
Wikipedia entry for verbs in Nepali
The Japanese Professor entry ‘The Copula ‘Desu’’
Lingthusiasm Episode ‘You heard about it but I was there - Evidentiality’
Wikipedia entry for verbs in Yolmo
David Bowles tweet on copulas in Nahuatl
Wikipedia entry for Nahuatl, including more detail on the geographic distribution of speakers
Australian Sign Language (Auslan): An Introduction to Sign Language Linguistics - Johnston and Schembri
Reddit post on how to express ‘be’ in American Sign Language
Wikipedia entry for zero copula
Lingthusiasm Episode ‘When nothing means something’
WALS entry for zero copula
All Things Linguistics entry on zero copula in African American English
Yale Grammatical Diversity Project English in North America entry for null copula
Wikipedia entry for E-Prime
You can listen to this episode via Lingthusiasm.com, Soundcloud, RSS, Apple Podcasts/iTunes, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can also download an mp3 via the Soundcloud page for offline listening. To receive an email whenever a new episode drops, sign up for the Lingthusiasm mailing list.
You can help keep Lingthusiasm advertising-free by supporting our Patreon. Being a patron gives you access to bonus content, our Discord server, and other perks.
Lingthusiasm is on Facebook, Tumblr, Instagram, Pinterest, and Twitter.
Email us at contact [at] lingthusiasm [dot] com
Gretchen is on Twitter as @GretchenAMcC and blogs at All Things Linguistic.
Lauren is on Twitter as @superlinguo and blogs at Superlinguo.
Lingthusiasm is created by Gretchen McCulloch and Lauren Gawne. Our senior producer is Claire Gawne, our production editor is Sarah Dopierala, our production manager is Liz McCullough, and our music is ‘Ancient City’ by The Triangles.
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White Winged Dove
warnings ➛ COUNTRY!TOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY BELOVED!!!!!!!! smut, baby! (PLEASE do not interact if you are a minor), hurt/comfort, minor angst, happy ending: guaranteed!, a handful of swear words, and y/n has no choice but to have a country accent, i don’t make the rules here. extended warnings will be under the cut!
word count ➛ 9.5K
authors note ➛ i saw that gifset of tom taking a shower in cherry and my brain short circuited, so here! have a cupcake!
synopsis ➛ Tom feels like his world is falling apart, so he turns to you, the only person that reminds him of home.
extended warnings ➛ nsfw, fingering (f receiving), dirty talk, praise kink, multiple orgasms, unprotected f/m intercourse (please practice safe sex, kiddos! wrap it before you whack it!), a tiny tiny tiny sliver of blood!play if you squint with one eye closed.
You remember the night in waves, docile, fleeting waves that tease the rim of your consciousness before reeling back. Golden whiskey licks at the seam of your lips with each pass of the bottle, and the pond is glittering beneath the blinking trails of all the lightning bugs — tens of hundreds of fireflies, dancing in the night’s misty skyglow, rivaling the pale moonlight.
You remember the night in waves, but he is a mighty current.
You can’t scrub the memory of him from your mind, that bleak, hopeless expression that hollowed out his features. You remember how your heart split into a million little shards the second it appeared, and just when you thought there was nothing left to break, his fragile voice pleaded for you to take him somewhere, anywhere, as long as it was far.
By the time the sun spilled past your window pane, you were nothing but a drowsy amalgamation of lithe limbs, coated in morning glow as it spilled through the glass.
But behind your eyelids lives an imprint of the night before — a shimmering reflection of the night sky, and the moments that unraveled beneath its sweeping gaze.
9:17PM — You’re belting into your hairbrush, not a care in the world, and pouring your heart and soul out to a crowd of none. Somewhere between all of your clumsy twirls and impromptu choreography, you stumble over the shoebox that was poking out from under your bed, and a flurry of damp tresses and musical giggles fan across your comforter.
The walls in your house have always been notoriously thin, but what could you possibly expect from the weathered planks of wood paneling that lined your bedroom? You could hear your father’s creaky footsteps whenever he ransacked the fridge for leftovers in the dead of night, and the heavy thump of laundry that your mother would throw down to the basement, but once your radio crackles to life, and Stevie’s enchanting croon permeates the air, all those subtle nuances fades to a dull, lifeless roar.
With each passing note, the white winged dove becomes you, and you soar above endless miles of Mississippi wood. There’s not a soul that can drag you back to the outskirts of town, force you to confront what may become of you when you land, there’s no room for trepidation where you go. There, in your own little corner of the woods, it’s just you, Stevie Nicks, and the moon.
And, technically, Thomas.
Minutes have gone by, you still can’t find the strength, nor the energy, to lift yourself up, and as your downy blankets hug your tired frame, you remain blissfully ignorant of your peeping tom.
Thomas, affectionately penned Tommy, has been your best friend, your confidante, since the very first day of kindergarten. You had pulled a pack of scented markers from your tiny, pink barbie backpack during free time, and he had pulled out the empty seat beside you, plucking, sniffing, and ultimately discarding each and every pen until the box was empty. When you asked him which one was his favorite, he asked you the very same in response, just so you’d “coincidentally” have a shared affinity for coconuts. He was oddly endearing, which is a trait that’s always stuck with him. So, even at a young age, you never wondered if he was just using you for your nice possessions, or trying to take advantage of your courtesy — he always offered himself to you at face value, and you never stopped taking as much of him as you could get.
Had you been aware that your childhood friend was waiting expectantly at your window, you may have handled your alone time with a tad more discretion — but you weren’t, and each act of your private concert forces him into an even harder position. To what extent does he let you embarrass yourself before he makes his presence known, and for how long will you bury your head in the sand before the embarrassment mulls over? He sees your stage dive as a golden opportunity, and seizes it before you begin to stir.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
Three short, mild raps, uttered in quick succession, jostle you from your lavish daydreams like a bucket of ice water, and you have to squint just to make out his fair features amidst all the darkness shrouding them.
“Tommy?” A flash of his soft, earthy hues tame the wild drum of your heart, confirming your suspicions, and you fight the urge to chuckle when he innocently waves at you.
“Well don’t get all shy on me now. Come in.” You open the window just enough for him to slip through its frame, allowing your eyes to graze the sculpted plains of his back, and admire, albeit shamelessly, how his muscles ripple beneath his fitted t-shirt.
Yet, there’s something about him being in your room, towering over fixtures that once towered over him, that makes you feel uneasy. A part of you adores the way he instantly makes himself at home, but the remainder is doused in fear, fretting over his wandering hands and what they may discover, surveying little trinkets and souvenirs that decorate your desk.
“Hasn’t changed much since the last time I was in here, has it?” He notes, absentmindedly shaking the contents of a snowglobe your grandma brought you from New York, a miniature skyline of Manhattan continuously buried in a flurry of snow. Most of your playdates took place in his house, so as your friendship flourished past elementary school, and the time that spanned between your meetings grew shorter and shorter, you’d found yourselves frequenting his home for all of your endeavors. It was just easier that way.
That’s the sole reason you rarely visited your room. It surely wasn’t the suffocating atmosphere that plagued your home, or your hormonal, angst ridden brain convincing you that you’d scare him to the high heavens if he caught a glimpse of your relationship with your family — how dismal it is. How you build entire worlds, cycle through dozens of bountiful lives, in the luxury of your mind in hopes of retreating.
You’d be lying if you said the poster of Zac Efron, now lurking precariously behind his shoulder, wasn’t a glaring reason as well.
“Yeah, couple things here and there, but it’s pretty much the same.” You try to be discreet as you wander around your own room, Destination: Tiger Beat. Once you reach it, you rise up on your tiptoes to cover as much of the poster as humanly possible, but scramble for an excuse once you notice him turning. “You actually left something the last time you were here. It’s on the top shelf.”
RIP! The poster is crumpled in your grasp no sooner than his back turns to you. You’d have to give a formal apology to your wildcat once you were left to your own devices, but until then, he was banished to the most unsuspecting corner of your room.
“Jesus Christ Y/N,” His thumb fondly strokes a small, yellowed testament to your friendship, a weathered page of loose leaf etched in awry plumes of ink that perfectly encapsulate his very essence — egregiously passionate, regardless of the outcome. He had written it when he was about seven, intending to give it to the “girl of his dreams” once he met her. You can still hear his sweet, little voice echo between your ears, endearingly mistaking his r’s for w’s. “You kept this?”
“Of course I did.“ Candor coats your tongue before you catch yourself, the tail end of your answer turning to dust as soon as it hits the air. You can’t bring yourself to admit just how many restless nights you’ve allowed yourself to clamber up that oak dresser, just to read that letter over, and over, and over again, praying that if you had stared at it for long enough, his messy scrawl would transform into the words you yearned for most — that it was meant for you, that he’s loved you from the very start. “Wasn’t sure if you were planning to repurpose it for some other lucky gal.”
You lock eyes with him for the first time since he appeared at your window, and stowed beneath his reservation are faint embers of warmth, kindling behind ebony curtains as you indulge in the hearth of his gaze. Lifetimes seemingly pass before his eyes are flickering back down to his hands, and it prompts you to offer him the note. “You can have it back.”
“No, you keep it.” Your brows pinch together, and a thousand questions collect on the tip of your tongue. You wonder if he recalls the same memory you do, if he remembers the significance buried in that little scrap of paper, but ultimately choose not to dwell on it. He knows just how much you love to collect memorabilia — keep cherished memories stowed away for safekeeping — he’s just being thoughtful. “Consider it undeniable proof that I know how to read and write.”
“Ain’t nothin’ in here about knowing how to read.” You tease, catching your tongue between your canines as a smirk conquers your lips.
“Ya got me,” He chuckles, smile reaching for, but never quite meeting, his faraway stare. You are so accustomed to his teasing quips, his usual flair for the dramatics, that this half-hearted attempt at replicating it fills you with discomfort. He tries to punctuate his words by tossing his arms to the sky, but they don’t reach high enough to convince you that he’s okay. Something is plaguing him, and you won’t settle for anything less than the truth.
“Tommy,” His name is sweet on your tongue, all honeyed vowels and soft, descant consonants that command his attention. “What’s wrong?”
“No, nothin’, I just-“ he’s avoiding your eyes, which is a clever strategy on his part. If eyes are the windows to the soul, then his are a stained glass mosaic, a vibrant display of all his emotions, and you — you are but an avid observer.
“Hey, look at me,” Two slender digits underline the curve of his jaw, and with a firm grasp of his chin, leave him no choice but to meet your gaze, tender and resolute all the same. “ You don’t have to tell me anything if you’re not ready, but I can tell when someone’s been rode hard and put away wet.”
“I just, I need to get out of here, and I thought I’d ask my favorite distraction to accompany me.” He stumbles over his words, faltering over his messy façade, but you’d rather this over nothing at all.
“And where might we be goin’?” You query. You can tell that this is going to be a long night, but luckily for him, you don’t have any plans that can’t be rescheduled. Your adoring fans will just have to wait another night.
“Somewhere… Anywhere,” He murmurs hopefully, and your heart nearly sinks to the floor. You’ve never seen such a chasm of joy, not in those bright, amber orbs you study so adamantly. You’d almost deem it pain, whatever’s tugging at the frame of his optics, whatever’s depriving them of that usual, warm glow. “as long as it’s far from here.”
9:39PM — “Watch your step.”
“Can you help me?” You whine — one hand reaching out for his assistance, the other firmly clasped around a bottle of Jack Daniels. There is an awkward incline just below you, only a few inches off the ground, but tall enough to make you stumble, and he could already see you bumping your knees on the way down, so he offers his elbow as a point of leverage.
“Atta girl, you’ve got it.” He coos, reluctantly abandoning your grip once you’re safely on the ground.
Mystical, and buzzing with life, you introduce him to the farthest corner of the woodlands. Whenever the walls of your room become suffocating, your legs always give out right about here.
Your secret hideaway.
Where you let your most worrisome thoughts roam free, and when those thoughts seemingly wander into nothingness, you chalk it up to wishful thinking, and fail to realize that they haven’t disappeared, they just don’t belong to you anymore. They belong to the babbling brook, constantly replenishing itself and its inhabitants with fresh, spring water, belong to the frogs and crickets as they fill the night with their moonlit ballad, they belong to the night, and it’s reflection, as it wades across the face of the creek; dotted with lightning bugs or the cosmos themself, you weren’t sure. All you know is that you always returned, as if a piece of you was tethered to the very spot.
“Where are we?” He wonders aloud, raking his fingers through his downy, chestnut locks as he explores his surroundings.
“I don’t exactly know.” You confess, making yourself comfortable on the ground. Most nights, you slip off your shoes and sink your feet into the brook, but you know Tom like the back of your hand, know what kind of ideas might venture through that rascally mind of his when he spots you near the water. So, you play it safe, pulling your knees up to your chest as you peer up at him from a safe distance. “It’s nice, though. Quiet. Good place to let your thoughts wander.”
“You ever take a dip in here?” Predictable. You stifle the urge to laugh at his query, sinking ivory veneers into your pillowy bottom lip, and shake your head in response. “Hell, if I were you, with my own nature-made swimmin’ pool, I’d bring all the boys around.”
“You know I don’t waste my time with no silly boys.” You sigh, sending him a wistful glare.
“You sure about that?” He counters, mimicking your perked brow with eerie precision.
“Oh, I’m sure.” You huff. God doesn’t build boys the same way he built him, he took his time crafting that statuesque frame, implemented hawk-eyed precision for each and every beguiling detail you’ve come to adore. He is a man, tried and true, from his sharp, angular structure to the neverending bounds of his heart, but rather than inflate his ego moreso, you let him assume the worst. “You can take a dip if you want, though. I wouldn’t mind.”
You wonder if he can tell just how little you’d mind as a mischievous glint highlights his amber hues, but before he can even open his mouth, you’ve already pinpointed the source of his glower, already voicing your adamant refusal. “No, absolutely not. Not a chance, Tommy.”
“But why not?” He whines, bellowing over your feeble chant, conjuring the most convincing set of pleading eyes he can muster. “It’s dark, it’s humid, and ain’t no one around to tell us not to.”
“Sounds like all the more reason to not do that.” You scoff, scooting further away from him and the strength of his hopeful gaze.
“I hate to pull out the big guns, but... what if I told you that it’d make me feel so much better if you accompanied me?” You’re left to wonder what the big guns are supposed to be, if they aren’t the way he is encroaching on your personal space, crawling up the length of your legs until there is only a sliver of space between you.
“I’d remind you that there are much drier ways to make you feel better.” You could feel your warm breath fanning across his lips, distracting you with the scent of minty toothpaste and your vanilla chapstick, ultimately failing to notice his hands, and how they’re positioned just below your waist.
It would only take one swift move to reach the small of your back, two to scoop you up in his arms, and about six more to drag you into the pond — kicking and screaming, but successfully so.
And he doesn’t chance it.
SPLASH! You’re no sooner submerged in the brooks’ murky depths, reaching out for lily pads and cattails that fail to provide you leverage, and your screams bubble into thick, smothered embers of a once irate flame. He better pray you never emerge from usunder, because he’s merely a howl away from being swept up in the tide — the tide being your arms as they force him to the bottom of the crick.
“Y/N,” your name scrambles between the slosh of the water and the pounding in your ears, but you manage to break the surface and blink spare drops of water from your eyes.
“I was drowning!’ You gasp, struggling to keep your head above water as you kick, and splash, and writhe around in the stygian abyss.
“In two feet of water? I beg to differ.” You can barely make out his comeback over his fit of giggles, but a part of you would rather this bright, teasing version of himself that what you’ve been dreading beforehand. Taking his outstretched hand, you stumble to your feet and, much to your dismay, find yourself standing in about two feet of water (which, in your defense, is a far more daunting threat to someone your size as opposed to his). You cool his inflating ego with a cold splash of water, dispersing tiny droplets from your fingers as they wave in front of his face.
You splash around in the water for what feels like forever, transforming stray lily pads into makeshift hats, dressing to the nines in the latest collection of aquatic couture, and as the moon casts a pale spotlight on the babbling brook, you occupy it’s centre, huddled in one another’s embrace, swaying back and forth amidst the shallow pools.
10:02 — You're still wet.
Drenched, really.
You’ve resorted to wringing out your hair with your bare hands, twisting the dampened locks between your fists until water pours from the follicles. You’d never once pondered the benefits of freshwater landings, but you were about to find out. A glare threatened to slice through the air, but immediately wavered at the sight of him — desolate, void, so lost in his thoughts that you’d wondered if he were even there.
God, you’re worried sick. You’ve dealt with bouts of sadness, sprinkles of melancholy, but this was downright depressing. You wouldn’t even know what to do if you tried, and that’s what worried you the most.
Thomas, your best friend, your crush, your light — the best parts of you all wrapped up in a clumsy little package while the best parts of him threaten to snatch up your heart, as if it wasn’t already his.
“Tommy?” You break him out of his reverie, but press on, scooching closer to his form, dangerously standoffish, like an uncaged animal winding up to attack, until you cross the threshold into his personal space. With a sturdy hold on his bicep, he melts into the palm of your hand, practically leaning all of his weight into you, stealing a reprieve you didn’t know he needed. “You can talk to me, y’know. It’s just us.”
“She left, Y/N.” The evening air seems still, in perfect tandem with your breath as you fear what might come out once you finally exhale. You know he’d shove all of his feelings down if he caught you shedding a single tear, and this isn’t about you, it never has been. So you hold your breath, latching onto the heavy silence that follows his confession, and pray that your chest is strong enough to smother the sob bubbling beneath its surface.
Fortunately, he takes your silence as a cue to continue. “The closet was empty, and all her cookbooks were gone. I looked downstairs and there was nothin’ there.” You don’t know if he’s finished, watching as he toys with a loose string on his jeans, but he breaks his own silence with a newfound waver in his voice. “I had a feelin’ she was ‘bout to leave, but I didn’t think it’d be so soon. I thought I had a lil’ bit more time to say goodbye.”
Edie was a good mother, the best of mothers, and never had she drawn a line when it came to who she nurtured. When you were little kids, you’d race each other to his house once the school bell rang, tiny little bodies weaving through the stalks of corn that prefaced the farm. She would follow the shuffling crops with a heavy eye, leading you to the porch with her raspy, whimsical chime, and crouch down to envelop the both of you in a tight hug when you emerged. She was the best of mothers.
But she wasn’t the best of wives. You were both far too young to notice the signs — the nights where you found her sound asleep on the sofa by her own volition, the packed suitcase that hid underneath the stairwell to the basement, the hesitance that laced her tone when she said I love you to his father — and something tells you she wanted to keep it that way.
Her son didn’t need to worry about his parents, and how fast they were falling out of love, and whether they really loved each other in the first place. Her son just needed to be a kid, and that is a belief she devoted the best years of her life to.
But he isn’t a kid anymore.
That’s why she fled in the middle of night, leaving nothing but a ruby encrusted ring on his dresser — her class ring. The same one he’d snatch from her jewelry box whenever she wasn’t looking. The same one he used to propose to you at the wee age of four, promising you as much of the world as a toddler could imagine.
Tears prick at the corner of your eyes as he recounts every detail, and every fiber of your being yearns to just schoop him up in your arms, hold all his broken pieces together with the strongest embrace you can muster. He doesn’t deserve that type of pain, shouldn’t have to relive it, and yet he takes it upon himself to tell you everything, to relive it for your own selfish gain.
You grow envious of the way the moon trails kisses down the slope of his nose, across the high rise of his cheeks, and over the swell of his bottom lip. There were times where you’d find traces of his mother in Tom’s features, lining the curve of his warm smile or, when the sun hit them just right, speckling his earthy hues with tiny rods of gold. Tonight, he is shrouded in a celestial spotlight, mesmerized by its waning body, and if you squint just enough, you’ll find her longing stare hidden beneath his own.
“And the worst part is that I ain’t even mad at her. Not even a lil’ bit.” He concludes, talking more to the sky than to you. “Not even at all.” When his gaze falls back to you, you can only try to cover up the betrayal, wipe the back of your arm across your tear-stained cheeks before he notices they’re even misty.
You inevitably fail, expelling a wistful sigh as he pulls you into his side, comfortingly running his hand over your bicep as he murmurs sweet nothings into the night.
“I’m so sorry. I-I didn’t want you to find out like this,” You furrow your brows, and wonder just how he would want to break the news to you. Would he let you find out for yourself, or would he bring you out to the plantation, and let you sink into the soil until the news began to blossom in the fields? Would they be cornstalks? And would they reach for the sky just like her? “I didn’t wanna make you cry, but... I didn’t know where else to go.”
“It’s okay.” Your voice is a wash of dulcet tones, fingers soothingly raking through his damp tendrils in a silent bid to comfort him. “It’s okay, I’m a big girl. I can take it.” You’re quick to clamber to your knees, wrapping him up in an airtight embrace, keeping him from wallowing into a puddle of tears. “I’m right here, Tommy.”
“I know,” he sputters, with an edge of sorrow to his tone.
“I’m right here, I’m not goin’ anywhere.” You promise.
“Don’t say that” He whispers, and shatters any trace of consolation looming over the encounter. Your brow furrows, your heart pounds against your chest, and for a fleeting second, you feel like you're caught in a lie. What if he knows? What if he can tell just how much you’d surrender to be with him? What if he doesn’t want it?
“Why not?” You’re near hysterics, praying that the intensity in your eyes makes up for the tremor in your voice. “Why not? I didn’t say anything I didn’t mean.”
“I just don’t want you to make a promise you can’t keep, Y/N.” That sullen gaze resurfaces, chills the air with it’s haunting presence — that hollow stare which fosters the remnants of a bright, contagious joy, and carves a pit, just as empty, in the well of your stomach, one that aches to be satiated. He tucks a stray piece of hair behind your ear, but his palm lingers against your cheek, trying to smooth out the heavy creases in your expression with the gentle stroke of his thumb. “Hell, I don’t want you to promise that in the first place. You deserve more than all this, you deserve the best this life has to offer you, and I’m not gonna keep you from all o’ that.”
You’ve lost track of your heart long ago, it’s dizzying tempo rivaling a hummingbird, nearly undetectable as it flitted uncontrollably, knocking against your ribs until its ultimate descent to the pit of your stomach.
You pray that he can one day see everything that you see in him, that loving himself is as easy for him as it is for you; you hope that there is a life where he never has to feel as small, or inconvenient, as he confessed, and you wish that this would eventually be that life.
You decide that it’s time to put an end to wishful thinking.
“Let me make something clear to you, Thomas.” You cup his jaw, firmly, and utter each word without a trace of uncertainty. “I’m not sure exactly what I want from life yet. I don’t know if I wanna spend the rest of it in this little ol’ town, or just pack my things and go as far as the wind will take me. I couldn’t tell you if I tried, but… that’s okay.” Slowly but surely, your lips give way to a sheepish grin, feeling lighter, freer, the further into your declaration. “It’s okay, because there’s one thing that’s for certain, and it’s that I’m all yours. It don’t matter how far I go, I’m always gonna come home to you.”
The silence is deafening.
All your emotions hang in the air, crippling your air supply with insurmountable regret. But his gaze is what terrifies you the most; just as suffocating, but in a way that sweeps the air from your lungs. You knew that there would always come a time where all the unrequited feelings you’ve harbored would finally boil to the surface, fueled by the hope that maybe, just maybe, it wasn’t as one sided as you thought; but under the void of his empty gaze, you wonder if you’d made a huge mistake.
Or maybe there really is nothing — nothing to reciprocate, nothing to subdue you, nothing to salvage what little remained of your friendship after such a loaded confession — and so you scramble to assemble an apology convincing enough to overshadow your lapse in judgement.
But he doesn’t even spare you the chance, swallowing your half-hearted excuses with the firm press of his lips, pouring a lifetime of ardent desire, of longing, into the hollow of your mouth. It’s crystal clear that you’re his, the realization comes borderline cathartic. There has never been a day where your heart has not beat for him, and only him, forever threatening to spring from your chest and return to its rightful owner. The days, the months, the years of back and forth felt like a cruel jest from the fates, but now you were here, bundled in the warmth of his strong embrace, tongues curling against one another in an endless battle for dominance, and you would endure it all over again if this was where it lead
He searches for some sign of absolution, paws up and down your back in hopes of grounding himself, and you reverently provide, mustering what little strength you have left to crawl into his lap, brushing against the growing bulge in his jeans without a trace of subtlety, offering him the most sacred parts of you in hopes of bringing him home.
“Y/N,” he sighs raggedly, a half hearted attempt to gain your attention, one that proves unsuccessful as his pleas whittle into a frail, insipid shadow of what they could be. You’re too busy acquainting yourself with the plains of his body, embedding a trail of deep red marks into the column of his neck as your hands slip beneath the hem of his t-shirt. He’s built like a greek statue, you don’t even need to discard his shirt to indulge in the taut muscles tensing beneath your fingertips. “Y/N, darlin’, wait.” He interrupts your greedy ministrations by fastening his digits around your wrists. This is the point of no return, you can feel the fragile divide between friends and lovers, splintering beneath the weight of your heart, and yet you fail to concern yourself.
His digits are free to roam the high plains of your cheeks, pioneering the flushed expanse with beacons of soft, arching butterfly kisses until there’s no skin to cover, ultimately pressing his forehead against yours. ”You don’t- I don’t want you to do anything you don’t wanna do.” Seems almost redundant, you muse, to wonder if you want him when you’ve made it abundantly clear that you’d follow him to the ends of the earth. You are a pillar of salt, and as he showers you in a knee buckling torrent of kisses, you melt into the palm of his hands. If the way you’re draped against his form isn’t evidence enough, then the wetness pooling between your thighs most certainly will be, he’ll come across that confirmation once he tends to the spot you need him most.
You trace the cleft of his chin in delicate pursuit, whining as he tears his lips from their languid path, and peer through your inky lashes to meet his gaze once more. “I want this, Tom. I want you.”
“You have me. I’m all yours.” He echoes your words back to you, reverently, delivering a sacred vow from the hearth of your soul, ove you have, and will continue to, dedicate your humble living to, and you seal that promise with a bruising kiss.
The weight of his palm melts into the small of your back, pulling your chest flush against his own as it sweeps up your spine, and you moan against his lips when your nipples press up against his sturdy chest, aching to be freed as they strain against their gossamer confines.
You’ve only had the pleasure of making out with Tom for less than five minutes, but you can already tell that it ranks high on your list of favorite pastimes. Soft, pink petals brush against your own like they’re a flourishing canvas, and he’s trying to even out the brushstrokes, but all he leaves is a scorching flush in his wake, and your clothing, despite being bathed in pond water, do little to ease the blistering heat. It’s suffocating you, and you begrudgingly tear yourself away so that you can rid yourself of the article.
Besides, the less fabric separating you from his anchoring, toned embrace, the better.
“I’m all dirty,” Your meek voice collapses into a fit of giggles, and your feeble attempt to wring out your clothes is thwarted by his hands, venturing up, up, up, and under the hem of your skirt at a teasing pace, savoring the feeling of your warm, silky skin beneath his fingertips. You can tell he’s as desperate as you are, confronted with acres of new terrain to explore, and only so little of his patience to spare.
“I know, I’m sorry angel.” His voice is soft, and soothing, and riddled with mischief. Even if there is even an ounce of truth in his apology, you can still make out the devilish grin that toys at the corner of his mouth. “May I, m’lady?” He croons teasingly, flashing those whiskey glazed hues in a way that you could never refuse.
“Proceed, good sir.” You counter in the most refined timbre you can dictate, a low chuckle escaping his lips as he bunches the hem of your dress in his palms, hoisting it over your head to expose the breathtaking contours and curves of your body. You can’t remember what compelled you to forego your bra, but the thought is soon pushed to the corner of your mind, making room for the warm, fuzzy feeling that conquers your insides when Tom lays his eyes on you, bared to him and only him. His gaze alone makes you feel like you are a spectacle to behold, the most enchanting vision to ever cross his line of sight. If there was even a speck of insecurity buried deep in the back of your mind, the sight of Tom’s eyes, blown wide with adoration as they worship every sinful inch of your skin, instantly quells those fears.
He struggles to find his words, to occupy this infinite silence with anything, everything, as his calloused palms caress the sides of your waist, but all he can manage is a husky growl. One that prefaces the reappearance of his tongue, and its feverish descent from the column of your neck to the tops of your breasts, bathing your skin with gluttonous, broad strokes, and coaxing pretty, little whines from the back of your throat.
There is something so unhinged in his actions, so carnal, it summons another wave of arousal to pool against your soiled panties, knowing you have such a strong clutch on his resolve. Though, another branch of your mind races at a mile a minute, consumed by the endless possibilities that come equipped with Tom’s skill.
You try not to dwell on the little flings that came before you, especially now, in the afterglow of your confession. The taunting, pitious gazes you shared with his hookups in the hallowed halls of your alma mater, toting a reminder that they could indulge in everything you yearned for, scorched you more than the thought of the act itself — but the rumors were just plain inescapable. If even a fraction of them hold a candle to the truth, then you are in for one hell of a night.
“You’re just as sweet as I imagined, angel.” Angel. The nickname sends sparks flying in the well of your stomach. “Can’t wait to taste that perfect little pussy. Just know it’s gonna be even sweeter when you cum all over my fingers.”
You whine softly at his words, but clench hard around nothing, aching to be filled by those unbearably long, slender digits. Nothing could have prepared you for the scene unraveling below you — his lips latched around the stiff peak of your nipple, a husky groan reverberating around the pebbled surface, and head slightly moving against the palm of your hand as your fingers tug at his chestnut locks. The long, covetous laps of his tongue mingling with the vibrations of his contented little hums make you desperate for more, arching, writhing, trembling against him in hopes of finding a semblance of relief for the ache between your thighs.
“Tommy, please.” You plead in the most convincing, fucked out tone you can muster, but he doesn’t budge, showering your other bud with a flurry of quick, relentless kitten licks. Even mother nature joins in his relentless teasing, making you squirm as the gentle breeze blows cool, summer air against the glistening bud.
This is torture, a blissful, euphoric form of torture that, despite your irritability, you would surrender to time and time again. But you fail to notice just how hard your canines puncture the swell of your bottom lip, too immersed in the stroke of his tongue, in the ghost of pleasure that stirs in the pit of your stomach each time you rut against his clothed cock. A sharp, metallic tang seeps into your mouth, hitting the tip of your tongue and forcing a trembling whimper to the front of your mouth.
The pitiful sound piques Tom’s interest, and before you can wipe the blood from your lip, your face is already cradled between his palms. “Fuck, Y/N, look at you,” His eye were wide with concern, and your heart sputters over the blistering scorch of need his compassion arises in you. “C’mere.” Dropping his forehead against your own, his tongue tentatively brushes the curve of your lips, lapping up every last drop of blood that is smeared against it. He applies pressure to the wound, cauterizes it with a searing dance of bloodstained brims, as his one hand weaves into your damp locks. You barely know how to respond, but your body compensates with an untapped sense of hunger, scraping your teeth against his lower lip as you desperately claw at the toned valley of his back.
“Please, Tommy, please. I’m dripping.” You mewl, teetering over the perilous edge of delusion, foraging between your stomachs in search of his free hand. Yet another wave of arousal pools between your thighs at the sight of him, with his puffy, saliva stained lips slightly parted, and his eyes blown wide with the insatiable need to indulge himself, to spoil you. Once your fingers circle around his wrist, you guide his hand to the apex of your thighs and urge him to feel for himself, applying the lightest of pressure against his fingers, urging him to caress your tender lips through the sodden barrier of your panties. To feel what he’s done to you. “You feel that? It’s all for you.”
“All for me,” he echoes back, mesmerized, cognac hues fading into obsidian orbs as he rubs deliberately teasing circles over your covered clit. “And you ask oh so pretty. Let me take care of you, my pretty girl.” Before you even get the chance to reply, he’s pushing your panties to the side, dipping the pad of his middle finger between your silky folds — feeling, exploring, acquainting himself with the tight ring of muscle that he plans on stretching open.
His hesitation is nothing more than a plight at this point, you are more than willing to take anything he has to offer, and he can gather that much from the wild gleam in your eyes, so he slowly works one finger into your snug, velvety walls and curses under his breath at how heavenly you feel. You’re unlike anything he’s had before, far exceeding the lengths of his imagination as you softly clench around his digit, and it only takes a few seconds to adjust to the lithe intrusion, your walls already twitching against his shallow, testing thrusts, before he adds another.
“So fuckin’ perfect, darlin’. Love the way your pretty little cunt takes me.” A thin sheen of sweat coats your forehead as he rocks his digits at a leisurely pace. Tom is obsessed with the tiny frown forming between your brows, almost like you’re confused by the amount of pleasure building between your legs, struggling to keep your eyes open, your juices spilling past your opening to trickle down the palm of his hand. To say your experience is limited is a bit of an understatement — the whopping two men you’ve slept with prior were merely amateurs in comparison to your lover. Even if there was enough air in your lungs to articulate it, you don’t have the heart to tell him that you’ve never been fingerfucked. Period. The embarrassment almost swallows you whole.
But even without anything to compare it to, you’re convinced that you’re receiving the upper echelon of experiences.
As his pace quickens, prodding against your pulsing walls with an onslaught of keen, ravaging thrusts, you’re too busy gasping for air to notice how he’s switched his angle. Now the heel of his hand is rubbing against your bundle of nerves with each stroke, applying just enough pressure to light a spark without ever setting you off, and as the pads of his fingers pound against your sweet spot, you are reduced to a limbless puddle in his hands, doused in an ethereal glow that only he could surface. “God, Y/N, you look like an angel. My pretty little angel— ‘bout to cum all over my fingers.” he panted, voice biting the air with a wolfish gleam, canines peaking past his thin lips.
“Tommy, I’m so close.” You aren’t sure if you can hold on for much longer, dangling on the coattails of insurmountable bliss, finding a new reason to fall apart with each lewd kiss or sharp thrust. Your orgasm is already creeping up, threatening to crash over you each time he plunges into your slick heat, but you know that you want to feel him — all of him — stretching you to unimaginable lengths as he sinks into your tight little hole for the first time. “I wanna feel you. I wanna- I need to cum on your cock.”
Tom’s brows meet in the middle, and you wonder if you’ve strewn too far, surrendered the remainder of your common sense to lust and her shameless palms. “Such a filthy little mouth for such a good girl.” He whispers, wondering aloud, his free hand abandoning the nape of your neck to cup your jaw as his thumb sweeps over your bottom lip, applying just enough pressure to drag it down before letting it spring back to its pouty default. “You will, angel, you will, but I gotta get you ready first.” He reassures you, and you remember just how prominent his length is, straining against the denim cage of his jeans, and attribute his wavering tone to the sheer restraint he’s been exhibiting. But you have to admit — if his fingers are only a fraction of his length, then you are not sure just how much of him you’ll be able to handle. The thought sends you barrelling toward your climax, but not without the help of his thumb, pressing up to rub fervent, clumsy circles against your clit, his husky tenor cooing sweet words of encouragement into the space just below your ear. “I can feel you, angel, let go for me. I’ve got you.”
With one final thrust, he buries his fingers to the hilt, caressing your g-spot with a tentative come hither motion, until you are ridden with overwhelming waves of pleasure. All you can feel are your tender walls tightening around his fingers, and your thighs starting to tremble under the weight of your high. But he is spellbound, mesmerized by the swirling vision of you at your most content, eyelids hanging low over your blown out hues, your hips absentmindedly grinding against his hand, meeting his timid rhythm as he tries to work you through your aftershocks.
Emptiness soon replaces the stretch of his fingers once he slips them out, but a twitch of excitement follows the path of his slick hand, and you can’t stop from outright moaning at his shameless display.
“Just what I thought,” he murmurs. You are too captivated by the sight of his lips — pink, and kiss-weathered, and frankly obscene — opening wide to welcome his slick fingers, gracing his taste buds with your juices, and humming around them as they coat his tongue in an intoxicating elixir . “Open up, pretty girl,” You‘re torn from your trance by the pressure of his digits, knocking against your bottom lip, begging for entry. “Come taste how sweet you are.”
Hollowing your cheeks, you graciously welcome his fingers, putting on a show as you swirl your tongue between the two digits, moaning softly as the bittersweet taste that hits your tastebuds. You aren’t prepared for the shallow, tentative thrust of his digits, or how he starts up a slow, steady rhythm against the back of your tongue — but god do you welcome it, softly gagging with each steady downstroke, spit already dribbling down your chin as you try to keep up with his quickening pace.
“Atta girl, that’s it.” He offers you a ginger smile, one that makes the tears pooling in your eyes worth gagging for. “Good girl. Good, good girl. I wish you could see how pretty you look.”
You try to reply over his digits, but your words are muffled and faint as they thud against the wall of your lips. Luckily, he’s coherent enough to notice that you’d like to speak — and who is he to stifle that sweet little voice of yours? “Thank you,” you pant, fluttering your tear-stained lashes up at him as you clamber to fill your lungs, disputing your feverish pleas as you wriggle away from the outline of his cock. The sensation of his waterlogged jeans rubbing against your sensitive bundle of nerves has you keening over him, pushing you further from his crotch, and closer to his embrace, back arched with a near-feline agility.
“Can I?” you ask, kneading your palms over his thighs, feigning innocence as you inch closer and closer to his zipper with each upstroke, and he nods, granting you permission to free him from his denim confines. In one fluid motion, your one hand unzips his fly as the other helps him kick off the remainder of his offending items, and you have to resist the urge to drool at the sight of his cock springing from his boxers, let alone his sinfully perfect, exposed form.
He’s a little bit larger than you expected — what he lacks in length, he makes up in girth, but there isn’t much to make up for in the first place. His shaft is decorated with pretty, ivory veins, ones that would no doubt twitch beneath the hot, heavy weight of your tongue, and the crown of his cock is flushed, glistening with a thin sheen of precum that makes your mouth feel conveniently dry. Your walls twitch at the disheartening reminder of your emptiness, but all out spasm as his fingers eclipse the circumference of his cock, using your juices to leisurely pump himself.
“You’re so pretty.” You sigh, a flurry of giggles floating beneath your words as you reach out to touch him, hovering just above the tip in order to send him a cautionary glance — one he hurriedly accepts, nodding his head fervently as he stutters into his grasp. A rosy hue blooms across the valley of your cheekbones as you encircle him, covering whatever he can’t as he all but bucks into your palm. His heart strains against his chest upon the realization that his hand easily dwarfs your own, watches your smaller fingers barely curl around his engorged shaft and fights the urge to cum right then and there.
No, he needs to feel you.
“Are you sure?” He asks once more, granting you a final chance to salvage what little scraps remain of your childhood friendship, but you are already committed, determined to devour every last, glorious piece of him, to prove that he is the rightful owner of you, all of you, every shimmering shade of you.The sentiment would be almost derisive if not so loving, so noble, and yet you dismiss it with three, chaste kisses upon the outline of his profile — against his forehead, the notch on the bridge of his nose, and finally his lips, warm and inviting.
“I’m certain.” You promise, merely a breaths width away from his lips.
You have never been more certain of a decision in your life, desperate to feel him nestled deep inside you, to blur the line where he begins and you end. Your fingers curl around the base of his cock, their pressure neither here nor there as they coax a hiss out of him, and you line him up with your entrance, tossing your head back as you waste no time breaching your needy hole with the bulbous head of his cock.
It’s blindingly clear that you have been given the reins, what with Tom’s finger’s seeking refuge in the soil beneath him, a low groan rumbling beneath his chest, his eyes rapt with an unspoken urgency as they survey the spot where you connect, and you relish in your paramount. Your knees dig deeper into the ground as you lower yourself onto him, and with little resistance, your walls steadily welcome inch after inch with a searing embrace, etching every delicious ridge and vein of his length to memory until he bottoms out, and you’re left with an overwhelming sense of fullness. There is a dull pain laced in the stretch of your opening, intermingling with the remnants of your last orgasm, and as you twitch and pulse around his girth, he appears like an dream before you, sifting through a thick haze of desire, wispy curls clinging to the thin sheen of sweat coating his forehead, and eyes blown wide with ripples of pleasure, of lust, that long to be indulged.
Once you’ve adjusted to him, you test a few shallow, tentative rolls of your hips, lifting yourself off the tiniest bit before filling yourself up again. He just feels so perfect, like god spent a little extra time molding him just for you, rubbing against parts of you that have never known such ecstasy until now, and you struggle to find a rhythm amidst all these new, dizzying sensations. “Poor little thing, you’re so worked up, you barely know how to take my cock.” It’s funny, how he can make such degrading words sound so sympathetic, and regardless, your body responds long before your brain can register, wildly spasming around his cock. It doesn’t take long for his fingers to return, digging into the curve of your hips to assist you, working you over his length in long, plundering strokes that steal the air from your lungs. “That feel better, angel?”
“Mhmm,” you shakily nod your head, fingers finding purchase in the broad expanse of his shoulders as you dig your nails into the freckled expanse, flooding his senses with the weak little uh, uh, uh’s tumbling from your lips each time you’re impaled on his cock. If he could lap up every hitch of your breath, every wayward sigh, he’d be drunk off the height of your unbridled joy. Hell, he can barely sustain himself as is, ravenously lapping up the beads of sweat clinging to your temple, swirling his tongue around your earlobe in its descent. Yes, yes, he’s swept up in sultry waves of you, and as your pelvis kisses his, as the air is filled with the sounds of your hips snapping against his own, he’s less and less concerned about emerging from your enchanting depths. “You got another one for me, angel? I can feel you squeezing my cock, baby, I know you got another one.” He’s delirious, clawing at the altar of your hips, and nowhere near as close to finishing as you are, but god is he eager to tear another orgasm out of you.
You, on the other hand, are a furnace, taunting flames of embarrassment licking up your insides, pooling in the small of your back, racing up your cheeks, at such arduous lengths as to mix with the coil of pleasure tightening in your core. Tom seizes the opportunity to find some leverage, pulling his knees up to rest on either side of you, planting his feet on the ground so that he can thrust up into your sopping cunt at a punishing pace, and you both can already feel the tell-tale signs of your building pleasure. “It’s okay, Y/N, you can let go.” Nothing more than a faint whisper, you indulge in the way his cock massages your inner walls, how your name sounds so filthy, yet beguiling, as it slips from his slightly ajar lips, how it blends so well with the weak little moans of his own name rolling off your tongue. “Let go for me. I wanna feel that perfect little pussy cum all over me.” His hand dips between your sweat slick forms, firmly swiping his fingers over your hypersensitive bundle of nerves, turning circles into your favorite shape, and his change in position makes the crown of his cock curve into your g-spot each time he pounds into you — so your helpless to the crescendo of pleasure that washes over you.
A broken, startled shriek tears through your lungs, and you topple over his thighs, digging crescent shaped indents into his knees as you surrender to your climax, walls fluttering and contracting over his length as he works you over the edge.
“Oh, what a good girl.” He coos encouragingly, reaching his hand out to cup the weight of your breast, swiping his thumb over your peaked bud as his pace eases up, and it isn’t until now that you realize he’s leaning back, holding himself up by his forearms while he drinks in your pleasure-ridden form. “My sweet, sweet girl.” You can tell he’s holding back by the way his hips still stutter up into your overstimulated heat, how his cheeks, his forehead, all of his features are set with a heavy flush, how you aren’t filled to the brim with his cum — and you simply won’t allow that.
“It’s okay, Tommy.” You whisper, carefully lowering yourself until your chest is aligned with his own, sharply exhaling as you feel him push up against your tender core. Your eyes are soft, and dazed, and oh so pretty, glittering beneath a thin layer of unshed tears, but this is about him, it’s always been about him, and as his cock twitches amidst your spasming walls, you firmly believe that you can handle another orgasm if he can coax it from you. “Keep goin’, it’s okay. I want you to fill me up. I wanna feel all of you.”
“Y/N—” His voice is stern, but your lips are fierce, stealing whatever argument may have been building in the cavern of his mouth as you weakly tilt your hips downward, offering yourself to him once more. When he muscles up enough strength to tear himself away, he only finds a bounty of understanding, of devotion, of love, teeming at the brim of your eyes, and he needs no words to indulge himself, to yield to a mesmerising whirlpool of you, you, shimmering you.
Tom wraps one arm around your back, holding you close to his chest while you scatter soft, lingering kisses to his shoulder, smoothing his palm over your damp tresses as he hoists one leg over his hip, prying your legs even further apart so he can fuck up into you — impossibly tighter, and tormentingly more responsive as he slams into your overstimulated cunt. You can feel every square inch of him now, every long sweeping vein, the tiny sliver of skin hidden beneath his tip, it’s all crystal clear as he plunges into your weepy core, and you’re so cockdrunk, so fucked out of your mind, that you don’t even notice your hips slanting down to meet his thrusts. You’re just that greedy for another orgasm, hellbent on tumbling over yet again as he fills you to the brim.
It doesn’t take long for him to work himself to that precipice once again, the coil in his stomach pulled taut with your whimpered chant of his name, with each strong pulse of your cunt tightening over him. He buries himself to the hilt one last time, stuttering into your hips with a loud, frenzied groan, and finally teeters off the edge, dragging you down with him as you sink your teeth into his shoulder blade, pumping his hot seed into you, coating your walls with hot spurts of cum as you milk him for every last drop, the crude sound of your arousal mixing with his own making you shudder.
You both lay there for a second, safe in each other’s warm embrace, basking in the aftermath of your fortuned affair, and you cowered beneath the sky and it’s constellation clad ceiling, feeling infinitesimal, but oh so contented, beneath its glorious gaze. There, wrapped up in one another, two splintered halves mending, healing, into the whole they were destined to become — the sky was but a star in comparison to your light, your bright, everlasting light.
How did we get here? You wonder. How, oh, how is he finally mine?
You follow the steady rise and fall of his chest, the way the moon lounges across his curly lashes in a silver chaise — you survey him at his most vulnerable — and determine that you have more than enough time to find the answer. As long as he’s here, by your side, you don’t plan to wander too far.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING! PLEASE LIKE, OR LEAVE A COMMENT, IF YOU ENJOYED!
TAGLIST: @devotion @reawritesthings
#tom holland#tom holland x reader#tom holland imagine#tom holland smut#tom holland blurb#tom holland oneshot#I CAN NOT BELIEVE I ACTUALLY FUCKING FINISHED THIS#the way this magically climbed from 4.7 to 9.5k in one day will never cease to amaze me#and i hope that this spawns a new love and excitement for country boy tom because i love arvin but#BOY does that man scare me a lil bit#this is more like a . . hart of dixie type of country#more apple pie! less homicide!#I ALSO DONT KNOW WHA THAPPENED TO THE SMUT THIS IS LIKE 40% SMUT#anyway i really do hope yall enjoy#mine*
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a dream is a wish // f.w
Summary: for @pit-and-the-pen’s writing event!
Reader can’t stand Fred Weasley, but what happens when a dream changes that?
Prompts: “do you have to be that painfully beautiful?” x “well, if you saw yourself how I saw you, could you blame me?”
Warnings: injury, maybe like one swear word?
Word Count: 6.3k
A/N: this came out much later than i intended but ah! here it is! enjoy :)
——
It was safe to say you were not a fan of Fred Weasley.
Never have been, and most likely never will be. He was always loud, boisterous, arrogant, annoying, and most of all, found pleasure in disrupting the educational system any chance he could get. I mean, who does that, right?
Whether it be causing distractions with his equally-arrogant twin during class, or setting fireworks and other shenanigans loose in the hallways, you wanted to try and avoid both of them as much as possible.
But, it was Fred that you disliked more. He was the louder one, the one who knew exactly how to get under your skin and piss you off in all the wrong ways. The one that despite how much your friends thought him hilarious and charming, you’d never be able to get on the same page with. What was charming about someone who chose to disrespect all rules and live a carefree lifestyle?
That was not for you.
You were glad, on this day, that you could escape the confining castle walls and the hustle and bustle of the school on the weekend and make off to Hogsmeade with your pals, the cool autumn air a refreshing awakening as soon as you stepped outside. The leaves were changing colours and collecting in piles on the ground, the skies were gloomy and cloudy, and somehow, the smell of cinnamon was always in the air in the small Wizarding village.
“Can we head into Honeydukes’s afterwards?” your fellow Gryffindor, Megan, turned to ask as you guys entered the Three Broomsticks, the tip of her nose looking pink and her cheeks pale. It was rather cold for November.
“Sure thing,” you nodded, smiling in comfort at the familiar cozy atmosphere of the dingy pub. Students all around were crowded around in bundles, drinking hot butterbeer. You couldn’t wait to have one yourself.
Megan led you to the table where Ginny was sitting, a large cup of hot cocoa in her hands as she waved you guys over.
“Been waiting forever,” she grinned, “You guys go order, I’ll save your seats.”
You turned around and headed back towards the bar with Megan, the two of you catching the bartender’s attention and ordering yourselves each a nice hot butterbeer. You hadn’t felt so cold outside, but now that you were in the warmth, you could feel your fingers begin to burn as they thawed.
After a few moments wait, you grabbed the butterbeer mug between your already warm fingers and began to walk back to the table. You had to scooch around other tables and chairs, but eventually, you spotted Ginny’s red hair once more in the same table by the window.
Unfortunately, though, you spotted two other heads of red hair as well. Fred and George were crouched over their younger sister, a large Zonko’s bag on the table as they showed off their latest purchases.
“Bloody fantastic,” you groaned, causing Megan to chuckle as the two of you arrived at the table.
“Well, afternoon, ladies,” Fred grinned, taking his eyes off of his products to look at the two of you, “Fancy seeing you here.”
“Is it, though?” you rolled your eyes, sitting down and placing your mug on the table, “This is a school outing. There are students everywhere.”
Fred let out a laugh, “Well, not everyone decides to participate in such festivities.”
You let out a loud sigh and frowned, looking down to your drink to distract yourself from rebutting his comment. George had run off to go see Lee and another group of Gryffindors, so at least that was one down. If only Fred could leave as well.
After a few moments of uncomfortable silence, you felt Megan kick your leg under the table and so you shot her a look, asking her what was up.
“Well, guess I’ve best be off,” Fred said before she could reply to your glare, “Have a lovely afternoon.” As he passed by you, he placed his hand atop your head, “Especially you.”
“Don’t touch me,” you pulled your head out from under his hand, furrowing your eyebrows and mustering up your best scowl.
“Ah, intimidating,” Fred smirked, “I’m shaking in my bloody shoes.” Ginny and Megan stifled their laughter but you could hear them anyways. They were hardly being subtle.
“Get out of here, Weasley,” you turned way from him and faced your butterbeer once again, trying not to let him get to you. You had to fight a blush at Ginny and Megan’s laughter as Fred walked away, his chuckle fading into the loudness of the pub.
“Anyways,” Ginny grinned, pulling her hand away from her mouth, “Let’s change the subject before Y/N explodes.”
You snapped your head up to face her, your cheeks becoming rather warm, “I’m not going to explode, thank you very much. I just can’t stand your prat brothers.”
Ginny tossed her hair behind her shoulder and leaned forwards on the table, resting against her elbows, “You do a terrific job of hiding it.”
“Sorry, Gin,” you gave her a sheepish grin, “Tell them to stop being assholes. But I can try and be civil.”
Ginny wiggled her eyebrows and her and Megan exchanged a look. You ignored it, knowing they were probably thinking of something that you didn’t even want to know about, and took a long sip of butterbeer, letting the soothing, warm liquid calm you.
After sharing a nice long chat, Ginny having downed two whole hot cocoas, the three of you walked over to Honeyduke’s. The sun was gone and a thick layer of clouds covered the sky.
You really hoped it wouldn’t rain. You were chilly enough as it is. The last thing you wanted was to also be soaking wet.
Ginny held the door open as you and Megan climbed in afterwards, the warmth from the store immediately making a difference.
Megan took off to check out the latest line of sweets, her head disappearing within the busy store. Students were everywhere — eating, chatting, filling up bags of candies for long classes.
You noticed you had also lost Ginny. Where she had gone off to, you had no idea. But you took advantage of the fact that she was gone and made your way to the nearest shelf. It was incredibly tall and stacked with loads of different types of —
“Chocolate, a good choice,” a smooth voice said from behind you, causing you to jump and spin around, ready to knock over whoever had stepped close enough to speak in your ear.
You frowned as you faced Fred’s grinning figure.
“Oh, it’s you,” you rolled your eyes and turned back around, “I’d like to shop in peace. Bye bye.”
To your dismay, Fred pretended not to hear you and came to stand by your side, “As a resident expert on anything sweet — like myself — I recommend these guys.”
Fred reached up and grabbed a chocolate frog, placing it in your hand. You stared down at it, eyebrow cocked. You heard these were quite nice, honestly, but that didn’t mean you wanted to accept one from Fred.
“Why should I trust your opinion?” you glanced back up at him, a blank look on your face.
“Because,” he replied, grabbing another one for himself, “I know my stuff.”
You glared at him before walking away, the chocolate frog still in your hand. You couldn’t reach up to put it back and there was no way in hell you’d ask Fred for help. So, to keep your pride, you’d just buy it.
“I’m just taking this,” you finally arrived at the cash, placing the single chocolate frog down in front of the young cashier.
“And this one,” Fred was somehow still behind you, placing his own chocolate frog down next to yours, “On me.”
“Oh, charming,” you sassed, turning to face him with your arms crossed, “I can afford it myself, you know. I don’t need your help.”
Fred grinned at you as he removed his wallet from his back pocket, paying for the two chocolate frogs, “I know you don’t. I’m just being sweet.”
You ignored the wink he gave you, grabbing your chocolate frog off of the counter and placing it in your coat pocket. The cold outdoor air would prevent it from melting, so you figured it was safe there.
“Well, stop being sweet,” you smiled sarcastically, re-adjusting your scarf and beginning to walk away from him. You heard him call your name, but luckily for you, Ginny and Megan found you before he could. They both had a bag each — how they had managed to each buy their own stash of candies in the short amount of time you had found one chocolate frog, you’ll never know.
“Ready to go, ladies?” Megan asked, grabbing a lolly out of her bag and unwrapping it, sticking it into her mouth as she led the three of you back into the fresh November air.
You sighed as you stepped outside, shoving your hand into your pocket, feeling the chocolate frog box sitting there. You absentmindedly fiddled with it, not even noticing you were doing so.
This would make a lovely midnight snack.
——
You know that saying; when you have a romantic dream about someone, you can’t see them the same way anymore?
Well, you usually didn’t believe that. You thought people just got too attached to their subconscious and wanted to feel things that weren’t there.
You especially didn’t want to believe it when you woke up that morning, last night’s dream crystal clear in your head. It wouldn’t have been so bad if it were with anyone else — the idea of cuddling and kissing any other person on the planet would have been fine.
But no, no. Your dream decided to pair you up with the one person you didn’t want.
Fred goddamn Weasley.
It was probably only because you ate the chocolate frog he bought you. So, due to that, he was in your mind. That’s the only reasonable explanation. There was no other reason for such a dream to occur.
You hopped of bed, shaking your head every few minutes to rid yourself of the disgusting images from your head, and rushed down to the Great Hall for an early breakfast, Ginny and Megan still sound asleep in their four poster beds. They’d never find out you just dreamt of yourself in a relationship with Ginny’s older brother. They’d never let you live it down.
The Great Hall was silent as you walked in, the candles lit and the tables rather empty. You spotted a few familiar faces at the Gryffindor table, but chose you’d prefer to sit alone and stew in solemn silence.
Why had your mind decided to pair you up with Fred? Why?
As if the Devil himself was playing a game, Fred, George and Lee made their appearance in the Hall doorway with loud laughter. You groaned, letting your hair fall into your face as you poured yourself a cup of tea, wishing more than anything that they wouldn’t spot you.
“Mornin’, Y/N!” Lee sat across from you, a big smile on his face. You couldn’t muster the same expression, your lips curved downwards into a scowl. Of course they’d come sit with you. Everyone else at the Gryffindor table was either a first or second year. Clearly, the universe was testing you.
“Hi, Lee,” you gave a forced smile, taking a sip of your tea and keeping your eyes away from the twins that sat on either side of him.
Although you were fine with George sitting across from you, you couldn’t bring yourself to face Fred. Whether it was due to your dislike of him or the fact that you just had a dream where you had been in love with him, you couldn’t tell. But your heartbeat was starting to quicken — and you were not liking it.
“Awfully silent this morning,” Fred smirked, resting his elbows on the table.
You stood up abruptly, gulping down the last bit of tea in your mug, “Maybe I just don’t want to talk to you.”
“Oh — you wound me,” he placed a hand over his heart, “Are you bothered by me?”
“Well, if you saw yourself how I saw you, could you blame me?” you scoffed, placing your hands on your hips, “My morning was going fine until I saw you. Time for me to leave.”
George and Lee snickered as Fred’s smile faltered, his eyes glued to you as you scurried quickly out of the Great Hall, wishing more than anything that Fred didn’t get you as huffed and flustered as he did.
Damn him.
You couldn’t stand him. Him and his bright hair. Him and his freckled cheeks. Him and his warm eyes.
Yep, the dream didn’t change anything.
——
You were rather glad the sunshine continued to peak throughout the day — especially as you walked down to the Quidditch pitch. Playing in rain and snow was fun, sure, but there was nothing like playing on a clear, fresh day.
“Glad the weather is nice,” Ginny said from next to you as if she were reading your mind, “Should make finding the Snitch easier.”
You grinned, “Always glad when the sun’s out.”
She chuckled and opened the tent flap, letting you head in before her. The rest of the team hadn’t arrived yet which you were thankful for. It would give you time to get changed and mentally prepare before the rowdiness began. You loved most of the team to bits, but they could be quite loud. Especially the one person on the team that you didn’t like.
You seized your Quidditch robes and promptly changed into them, stepping out of the private room and immediately slouching your shoulders.
Your peace and quiet hadn’t lasted long. Fred, George, Angelina, Alicia, Harry and Ginny were huddled together, laughing loudly as they each began to prepare for the game.
“Oh, Y/N, we’re going over today’s plan!” Angelina waved you over, motioning for you to join. You did as the captain said, standing close to Ginny and as far from the grinning twins as you could.
“Now, this one here,” Angelina pointed to a badly drawn diagram on a crumpled piece of parchment, “Is called Bollocks, and it’s when—,”
“Sorry,” George snickered, lifting his hand to cut her off, “You named a play Bollocks?”
“Problem?” Angelina placed her hands on her hips and raised an eyebrow, challenging him, “It was one of Wood’s old plays and might I add, it always worked brilliantly.”
You rolled your eyes at the immature reaction from the twins, wishing they’d pipe down so you could actually focus.
Fred was next to speak, “Course it was Ollie. Lad always had such wonderful names for everything.”
“Excuse me,” you found yourself speaking up, not even sure where your voice came from, “Can you stop being immature for three seconds so we can listen to Angie and maybe win this game?”
Narrowing his eyes at you, Fred scoffed, “And what exactly is it that’s set you off today? Always something, isn’t there?”
You blinked rapidly, “What?”
“You’ve always got something to say,” he continued, “Bit annoying, really.”
The tent was silent, the team stepping back slightly as if trying to avoid being caught in the crossfire. You felt your blood being to boil. Fred had never actually snapped back at you before — and for some reason, you genuinely disliked it.
“I—” your voice trailed off as you realized you didn’t even know what to say. You almost felt bad. Which was rare. You never really felt bad for telling Fred off. He usually always deserved it. Why did you feel that way this time?
“Anyways,” Angelina took her place once more, trying to cut a knife through the palpable awkwardness that was now floating around the tent.
You were still looking at Fred, who was now facing away, his jaw clenched and his cheeks flushed. Never had you seen him this put off.
Angelina continued to explain the game plan, but you were too consumed with unwanted guilt to pay attention to every word. Why had this argument left you with such a bitter feeling? You weren’t normally left feeling sour after any sort of encounter with Fred. Was it because he actually looked upset? Was it because you felt bad? Did it have anything to do with your stupid dream?
No, no. Can’t be the dream. It was just a dream.
She finished up her speech and you took your place behind Alicia, grabbing your broom and ready to make an entrance onto the pitch. But, after your standoff with Fred, all excitement that you previously had was gone. If anything, you would much rather run back to the castle and hide away in your dorm room right about now.
“You alright?” Ginny leaned over, “He’s not actually mad, y’know? Just loses his temper sometimes.”
“I feel bad,” you whispered back, your grip on the broom tightening, “I’ll apologize later.”
Ginny smiled at you, not able to say much more as the lot of you walked out onto the field and came face to face with your opponent. The loud cheers from the crowd helped lift your spirits slightly, but you couldn’t help sneaking another peak at Fred. He was laughing at something Angelina had said, all traces of his previous anger gone.
Maybe Ginny was right, perhaps he wasn’t angry. You felt you needed to apologize anyways, but hopefully it would be forgotten and things could just go back to normal. Whatever normal was.
The whistle blew to signal the beginning of the match, causing you to kick off the ground and take off, ready to bring to life your game plan with your fellow Chasers. You pushed past your bad feelings and focused solely on the match ahead, causing Gryffindor to take an early lead.
Ten minutes in and you were up thirty to zero, two of those goals scored by yours truly. You celebrated both with the rest of the team team, noticing, however, how Fred didn’t come to join both times. He seemed rather thrilled when Alicia scored, though.
Why was this bothering you?
You shook your head and continued the game. Another ten minutes in and Angelina put another one in, leaving you guys up forty to nothing.
You were ready to execute another play — Bollocks, specifically — when you heard your name being shouted.
“Look out!” Ginny’s eyes were wide as she called out to you.
You gave her a puzzled look, ready to turn around and see what she was pointing at, but you didn’t have the chance to do so.
The Bludger knocked into your arm, causing you to completely lose balance and topple off of your broom. Unbearable pain spread throughout your body, the point of contact on your arm throbbing violently as the world around you spun out of focus. The entire audience gasped as you began to plummet towards the ground.
Sixty feet? Seventy, maybe?
You could hear people shouting your name but you couldn’t open your eyes, bracing yourself for impact. Your head felt heavy, your heart skipping beats.
You tried to squint your eyes open, but all you could see was the blue of the sky and something orange and red flash by.
That was the last thing you saw before your vision went dark.
——
The Hospital Wing at night was usually deserted. The moonlight would shine through the windows onto the empty beds and Madam Pomfrey would retire to her room early. But not tonight.
Tonight, they were all gathered around you.
“Are you sure you feel okay?” Megan asked, seated by your side and holding your hand tightly in hers, “It was really scary to see you fall.”
“I’m fine, Meg,” you replied with a low chuckle, your voice coarse from having been asleep — or passed out — for a few hours, “I don’t even remember hitting the ground.”
“That’s because you didn’t hit the ground,” Ginny sat down on the other side of the bed, arms crossed and a light smirk on her lips, “You got saved before you made impact.” She looked tired, but you were incredibly glad she was here.
“She’s right,” Megan piped up, now wearing the same smirk, “Madam Pomfrey say you passed out due to the Bludger impact and the speed in which you feel. Hitting the ground had nothing to do with it because you didn’t hit the ground.”
You looked between the two, your eyebrows furrowed and your mind not fully wrapping around their words. You had to have hit the ground, right?
“How did I not hit the ground?” you coughed slightly as you spoke, reaching over to the small table next to you and grabbing your glass of water, taking a small sip to hopefully soothe your throat.
“Fred caught you,” Ginny replied tentatively.
You spat the water back out, spraying the bedspread and probably Megan and Ginny’s faces as well, “I’m sorry — what?”
Megan answered, wiping at her eye, “Yep. He caught you right as you passed out.”
You stated at them, your eyes feeling as if they were as wide as saucers. There was no way Fred saved you, was there? Was he the flash of red and orange you had seen?
“Why’d he do that?” you asked with interest, placing your glass of water back down to avoid spraying anyone else with your shocked spitting.
Ginny was about to speak, but the doors to the Hospital Wing opened and she muttered a sly, “Ask him yourself.”
You looked over, and sure enough, Fred was walking in. Accompanied by the rest of the team, yes, but your eyes went to him and only him. Clearly, he could sense your stare, as he awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck once arriving at the foot of your bed.
“You caught me?” you asked, ignoring whatever it was that Angelina had just asked you.
Fred’s cheeks turned a light shade of pink and he shrugged, “Yeah. But it’s not a big deal.”
Angelina pursed her lips from next to you, rolling back and forth on the balls of her feet. The group all shared a look and decided to leave the two of you be, slowly slipping out of the Hospital Wing.
You noticed, yes, but were too busy saying, “Thank you.”
Fred cupped his ear and leaned forwards, a hint of a smirk on his lips as all traces of awkwardness seemed to dissipate, “Sorry, did you just thank me? Blimey, must be the end of times.”
You shot him a look, rolling your eyes and dropping your head back down onto the pillow, “Just accept my thanking and be on your way.”
“I actually brought you something,” he lifted his finger, reaching into the tiny pocket on his chest, pulling out a boxed chocolate frog, “Here. For you.”
You narrowed your eyes at him, crossing your arms, “I don’t trust it. It’s coming from you.”
“I promise, I didn’t do anything to it. And the other one I gave you was fine, wasn’t it?” he smiled, walking over to the side of the bed to sit on the chair, still holding out the small box. His smile was genuine — but he still had a mischievous glint in his eyes.
“Fine,” you snatched it from him, “I’ll trust you just this once. Because I’m hungry..”
“I got it from Honeydukes yesterday,” he said, leaning back in the chair and lifting his legs, resting his feet atop your bed. You glared at them as you popped the chocolate into your mouth, letting the sweetness soothe you.
“See?” he smirked, raising an eyebrow, “You can trust me.”
You looked over at him, taking in his relaxed, causal state and the bright look in his eyes. You had always seen him looking as if he were hiding a dragon in his trousers — you couldn’t remember a time you’d seen him so casual.
His red striped shirt brought out the warm colours on his face. He looked effortlessly charming. It was annoying, really.
“I guess I can,” you smiled back, no hint of hostility in your voice, “Thank you.”
He took his feet off of your bed and pretended to bow, “You are infinitely welcome.” You chuckled, shaking your head and turning away from him, continuing to suck on the candy. It was changing flavours the longer it was in your mouth; it was beginning to taste like lemon.
“I can bring you some more tomorrow,” he grinned, standing up and shoving his hands into his pockets, “I need to meet up with George. Do you have a candy preference?”
You blinked up at him, “You’re coming back tomorrow?”
He shrugged before nodding, “Might as well. Gotta come see my favorite grouch.”
“Oh, shove off,” you scoffed, dropping your head. For some reason, him saying he was coming to see you tomorrow sent your heart into a jolt. You tried your best to brush it off, but as you glanced back up at him, the same thing happened. You suddenly felt awfully giddy.
“What kind of candy do you like?” he asked again, giving you a more serious look, “It’s the least I could do for not knocking the Bludger fast enough.”
You placed a finger to your chin and tapped, pondering over his question, “I like chocolate. But you already know that.”
He nodded curtly, taking a dramatic bow, “Chocolate it is.” You couldn’t hold back a laugh, covering your mouth and tossing your head back. Fred chuckled too, beginning to make his way towards the door.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, then,” he gave you a little wave, “Goodnight.”
“Goodnight, you git,” you replied with a grin, laughing slightly as you watched his lips curve upwards before he stepped outside of the Hospital Wing, closing the door quietly behind him.
Your smile fell as he left, bringing up the blanket to wrap around you, suddenly very aware of how alone you were in the room. Apart from Madam Pomfrey — who was reading a rather large book on the other side of the room. The silence was unnerving and you decided to just sleep it off.
You shut your eyes and let yourself fall into a deep, deep sleep.
——
“You’re joking!” you said through a mouthful of chocolate, your eyes wide.
“Nope,” Fred grinned, “Not joking.”
“How could you do that? You traumatized poor Ron for life,” you said, finally swallowing the chocolate in your mouth so you could breathe through your laughter.
Fred shrugged, “He deserved it.”
You shot him a look, “He was six. I hardly believe he deserved it.” Popping another bit of chocolate frog into your mouth, you raised your eyebrows as if challenging him.
He let out a low chuckle before taking a bite of his own chocolate frog. True to his word, Fred had shown up that evening with a bag of Honeyduke’s sweets, splitting them into piles between the two of you. Madam Pomfrey was not exactly overjoyed by his appearance — considering his appearance came with noise and food — but she told him he was allowed in for two hours.
You were being discharged tomorrow, anyways. There was no use moping and sulking about with only one day left here. Classes would resume and things would go back to normal.
“You have chocolate on your nose,” he pointed to his own nose as he spoke. You flushed, quickly raising your hand to try and wipe it off.
“You missed,” he smirked, sitting up and leaning forwards, reaching his hand out to touch your nose. As he made contact, you cheeks became incredibly warm. You tried your best to brush it off, but as you looked up into his warm eyes, you couldn’t help it. He was gazing down at you, fingers trailing from your nose down to your jaw before he retracted his hand.
You let out a small cough, purposefully ruining the moment, “What are you looking at?”
“Sorry,” he chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck, “It’s just — do you have to be so painfully beautiful?”
Although you were neither eating, nor drinking, you felt yourself choking on air. You averted your eyes away from him, looking at the ground for a good moment as your head wrapped around what he just said.
“Right,” you scoffed, cheeks burning, “I think you’re the one who hit your head.”
He let out an awkward chuckle as he leaned back in his chair, “Deny the compliment all you want. Doesn’t make it any less true, y’know.”
Why was Fred making you feel like this? Obnoxious, loud, arrogant, cocky Fred Weasley. Cute, charming, funny — no.
You couldn’t think of him that way. You had practically sworn to yourself that you’d never end up liking him. You couldn’t just change your morals now. Who does that?
“Thanks,” you muttered, fidgeting with your fingers under the blanket. You didn’t know what to say, you could barely muster the word ‘thanks’ in the first place.
It was odd. Just yesterday, you had snapped at him for being childish. For making a joke. But now, only a day later, you were here. Fighting back a grin and a blush at his compliment as he smirked over, clearly pleased by your reaction as he bit into another sweet.
Considering Fred hadn’t seemed to be your biggest fan either, you wondered why he suddenly felt open enough, confident enough, to compliment you so casually. What had changed? Why were the two of you so relaxed around each other?
Too swarmed with your own confusing thoughts, you hadn’t even noticed the two hours fly by. Fred left not long after, a smile on his face as he left his pile of candies behind for you.
Candies. That’s what was to blame. The sugar. That’s why your heart was violently beating against your ribcage, why your mind was fuzzy, why you had the urge to ask Fred to stay.
The candies were to blame. That’s the only reasonable explanation.
It had to be the candies.
——
The next few days went by in a blur. You were feeling back to normal, which you were awfully thankful for. Madam Pomfrey had fixed you up in a jiffy and sent you on you way after two days in the Wing being monitored closely under her watchful eye. She wasn’t impressed with how many chocolate frogs you had managed to eat, but she was glad you were healed and ready to take on the world again.
Ginny and Megan were glad to have you back — girls night just wasn’t the same without you, they said. And you were glad to see them again too. Although it was only two nights away, you had missed their company.
However, as glad as you were to no longer be confined to your tiny single bed, you felt as if you were missing something. You knew deep down you were missing Fred’s presence —even though you tried to deny it to yourself. He had been nice company while you were being healed and you kind of wished you could get some more alone time with him.
You had seen him around, sure. He was always there during meals and you’d come across him in the common room. Each time he’d send a smile your way and if you were lucky, he’d strike up a quick conversation after asking how you were feeling.
As much as you hated to admit it, you found yourself looking for him when he wasn’t around. You found yourself looking over anytime someone entered the room, hoping it would be him. You’d scan the hallways looking for his bright red hair —
“Looking for me?” a voice snapped you out of your thoughts.
Rather ironic, you thought as you looked up into Fred’s eyes, his head peeking over yours as you sat down for dinner.
“You wish,” you scoffed, fighting a blush that would give away the fact that yes, indeed, you were thinking of him. He didn’t need to know that, though. Would only boost his huge ego and no one wanted that.
“I always wish that,” he smirked as he sat down to your right. Oh, how you wished Fred was a lot less charming than he was. Damn him.
You reached across and grabbed some food, piling it onto your plate without another word. You could feel Fred’s eyes staring at you, your whole body felt like it was burning under his eyes.
“Stop staring,” you turned to face him with your eyebrow raised.
“Sorry,” he raised his hands, “Hard not to.”
You wanted to retaliate, but your voice was lost under Lee and Ginny giggling across from you. When had they even come in? Were they here the whole time? And why wasn’t George with Fred?
“Young love,” Lee clasped his hands and sighed, looking over to Ginny, “When will these two realize their feelings, Ginerva?”
Ginny batted her eyelashes in an equally dramatic manner, “Oh, I don’t know, Lee. Maybe they just need a push.”
Both you and Fred were glaring daggers at them. You hoped the stare you were giving Ginny would cause her to drop the subject, but clearly, it only egged her on. She sent you a wink, laughing as un-subtly as possible.
“Oi, no one asked for the two of you to pipe in,” Fred shot a look at Lee, also hoping to silencing his friend, his cheeks tinted with pink.
You looked away from Ginny, picking at your plate, embarrassed by the obvious attempt to get you and Fred to talk. Would you two even be compatible?
Would the two of you be a good couple?
“I think we would,” Fred grinned, nudging you in the side.
You turned to face him, eyebrows furrowed, “We would what?”
“You asked if we would be a good couple,” his grin was taunting, his eyes brighter than you’d ever seen them.
“Did I — Melin, did I ask that aloud?” you asked, horrified and humiliated. There was no fighting the blush on your cheeks now. Oh, how you wished you could climb into a hole and completely disappear.
“You did,” Fred scooted closer to you, “And might I add, it was rather cute. We would make an excellent couple, Y/N. You already love telling me off.”
You didn’t know how to reply to that, completely and utterly shocked that your mouth had the audacity to voice your thoughts without your permission. Why? Why did this have to happen to you?
Fred, noticing that you weren’t going to speak, decided to take initiative, “Well, since that’s all in the open, would you like to accompany me to Hogsmeade next weekend? As a date.”
You looked up to him, the blush now gone as your face lost colour, completely caught off guard. Fred was blunt, yes, but you didn’t think he’d actually ask you out. You figured this weird thing going on between you two was just due both of you feeling guilty? Was this even real?
Did you ever think you’d want to go on a date with Fred Weasley? Bloody hell, no. But now, did you want to go on a date with him? Of course you did.
“I’d love to,” you replied quietly, not even sure you had said the words.
Fred’s beaming smile alerted you that he had heard you. He wrapped his arm around your shoulder and brought you close to him, but you were too starstruck by the idea of going on a date with him to retaliate.
He was warm, comforting, and you really did enjoy it.
“Go team,” Ginny grinned, fist-bumping an equally pleased looking Lee.
Fred leaned over with a wide smile and whispered in your ear, “Remember when you hated me?”
You scoffed, pulling away as a smile played at your lips, “Shove off, you git.”
—
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You know I gotta ask abt ya boi for the character ask thing. Any version of him Chakas or Spark.
Send Me a Character
You might have made a mistake I can't shut up about my boi, but im still glad you asked!!!!
Im going to indicate a tl:dr version in blue for each section
And I will tell you my:
First impression
So surprisingly even before Spark's backstory/redemption ark, I liked him. I like robots, loved Hal 9000, obsessed with Portal 1 and 2. As much as I love his new story that gives him more depth and emotions I actually loved the simple minded protocol following boi we first met.
Child me actually had a dream shortly after playing the library that I found a broken little spark he was split in those two circle pieces. I swear this happened which is weird because any normal person just has flood nightmares.
I legit would wear a Spark necklace to class 90% of people thought it was Wheatley. I definitely stalked his halopedia page for new content
Impression now
So lets start from Primordium. I already loved Chakas from Cryptum (I kept joking around with the line "Chakas when the walls fell" because was obsessed with tng at the time). I remember reading the preview first chapters while on vacation at my grandma's house because I couldn't wait for Jan 3 (which is 3 days before my bday btw). I remember being pissed that my boy was a monitor right at the beginning...
Halfway through the book I started suspecting Spark and Chakas had to be connected, specifically because Spark sounded a bit too much like Chakas when talking about the librarian in the halo cea terminals. I think its crazy well done how those two pieces of media are connected, and that halo 3 the ark cutscene "compartmentalization" connection to primordium is just very cool! Especially since bungie definitely never intended this, but because Spark's memories were compartmentalized for flood reasons, it works!
My obsession only has gotten worse with the more recent lore. I think Spark looks really cool! Especially in the newest book cover. I love who he's grown to become and I love the awesome new friends hes made despite of losing his past friends (him losing Riser(and vice versa)... must have hurt, those too were so close)
Favorite moment
Oh theres more than a few of these but Ill try to limit myself
This part made me laugh:
youtube
My favorite Chakas moments:
Riser Bornstellar and him together adventuring on Cryptum before all the horrors began.
Also his time with Vinnevra and Gamelpar, again before the horrors started....
My favorite Guilty Spark moments:
Sesa Refummees edification
Chief and Spark working together in Halo 3 especially in the Ark
My favorite Spark moments:
when they were on Myers Moon and Spark finally stopped brooding and sat on a rock trying to find the perfect moment to shoot the fish out of the water.
Spark training Little Bit 💕
Point of Lights ending scene 😭❤
Theres definitely more favorite parts...
Idea for a story
I think Spark and Motoko Kusanagi (ghost in the shell) should sit down and have a drink together, itd benefit Spark to meet a fellow ghost in the shell
Motoko: "oh you're a ghost too? Interesting body choice"
Spark: "not really my choice its the best I could find!!"
Motoko: "oh wow you lived as a human for quite a long time I was cyberized when I was 5"...
(Im not good at writing fan fiction, but yeah something like that)
Unpopular opinion
Spark/Chakas should be in Infinite
I know they removed him from the story but like why does known asshole Forthencho get a terminal and my boy Chakas doesn't? P l e a s e
Favorite relationship
Chakas and Vinnevra were very cute together shout out to both of them for blushing and denying when my boy Riser called them out
Speaking of which Chakas, Bornstellar, and Riser really were the three amigos
Guilty Spark's only relationship was his ring and thats ok!!
Im glad Spark became such good friends with the ace of spades crew. Specially with Rion.. When Rion and him held hands to confort each other
Favorite headcanon
Spark totally has a halo ring floatie for Myer's Moon 🤭
Anyway... thanks for the ask @hotdoghowitzer 💕💕💕💕💕💕
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Lost & Found - 12
Pairing: Park Jimin x soulmate (oc)
Warnings: Insecurity, anxiety, abandonment, oc feels like she’s gonna puke which, honestly, same
Word Count: 4.5k
a/n: holy. crap.
anyways, enjoy!
just remember that if it’s not ok then it’s not the end
Chapter 12. Bittersweet
series masterlist
“You wanna grab some lunch?” I ask as soon as I get into the car after my appointment with Dr. Mo. She seemed pleased with my progress, and reassured me that I did the right thing in writing Jimin’s letter.
The only thing left to do is wait.
“I thought you’d never ask.” Sunmi begins to drive. “How’d your session go?”
“Good, I think. I couldn’t stop fidgeting the entire time.” I blow a strand of hair out of my face. “Mind if I invite a friend to lunch?”
Sunmi glances at me sidelong, arching a brow. “Does this friend know about your thread and that you’re currently being chauffeured by a Bighit employee?”
I chew on my lip. “Well, yes to the first question and no to the second. But she knows everything else.” I bring my phone up to my ear, listening to it ring. “She actually helped me cut the thread...but she’s a really cool person. I swear.”
Sunmi just waves me off, appearing to be indifferent to adding another person to our lunch party. At this rate, I’ll have to invite Chung-hei as well.
“I was just going to call you! What happened last night? You left in a rush.”
“Wanna come to lunch? I think we’ll just grab something and eat it back at my apartment.” I look at Sunmi, who gives me a thumbs-up.
“And then you’ll explain what happened last night?”
I laugh at her persistence. “Yeah, sure.”
We discuss her order before she promises to meet me at the apartment. “I feel like I should invite my other friend as well,” I admit, looking at Chung-hei’s contact on my phone. “She’s Namjoon’s soulmate.”
Shrugging, Sunmi pulls into a drive through. “Don’t ask me, I’m just the driver.” She pauses. “Oooh, should I get a milkshake?”
“Yes,” I gasp. “Get me one too-”
Chung-hei picks up on the third ring.
“I was just thinking about you!” She chirps. I can’t help but smile at the sound of her voice.
“How adorable,” I drawl. “Wanna meet up at my apartment for lunch? I’ve got a couple of friends coming over that I want you to meet.”
“Sure! I was just planning on taking a break, anyways.”
“Great. You want the usual from the diner on 6th?”
“Ooh, how sexy, you even remember my order.”
I snort, rolling my eyes. “Whatever. See you soon.”
✂
“How far are we going to run today?” Namjoon asks, not sounding entirely thrilled at the prospect of cardio at this hour. It’s an odd hour to be going out for a run, but the weather is warm enough for a jog around their closed off neighborhood.
“I have no idea,” Jimin admits, looking excited to just get to go outside. “Just...a ways?”
Namjoon snorts. “A ways?”
“You know what I mean.” Swinging the door opens, Jimin pauses before stepping out. “Oh, mail’s here.”
Namjoon doesn’t think much of the statement, the mail is always here around this time of day. That is, not until he looks down at the pile of mail and sees a familiar looking envelope poking out from behind another letter.
“Ah!” He shouts, crouching down and scooping up the mess. “Ah!” He shouts again for emphasis.
Jimin looks at him with a half-smirk. “Is there a reason that we’re shouting?”
Unfortunately, Namjoon is unable to do much else besides shout. He backtracks into the house, tossing aside the undesirable letters in an effort to get to the one that really matters. In his excitement, it slips to the ground.
Jimin leans down, grabbing the letter that Namjoon points at with yet another shout. “What?” His stomach drops. “Did we forget to pay this month?”
“No!” Namjoon exclaims. When Jimin shrugs and attempts to hand it over to him, he thrusts it back at him. “That’s yours!”
“What do you mean, ‘it’s mine’?” Jimin asks, frowning. “We split the cost-”
“Jolie. It’s from Jolie,” he pants, finally catching his breath and calming down. “Read it.”
Now, Jimin realizes, would be the perfect time to panic.
Reading the expression of confusion on his face, Namjoon takes a deep breath before leading Jimin to the couches in the living room. “Remember when I told you about going to visit Jolie right after she cut the thread and how I gave her-”
“You gave her this?” Jimin asks, looking down at the electric bill envelope with no shortage of disbelief. “Joon, this is probably just a bill-”
“No, we just got the electric bill three days ago!” Namjoon explains excitedly. “Just, read it.”
Jimin comes to stand before the couch, but he doesn’t sit down. Not yet. He’s too busy fighting the nerves that have manifested, the envelope shaking in his hands as he stares down at it.
“O-ok.”
He perches down on the edge of the coffee table, not even thinking to sit on the couch. Not as he tears the envelope open and slides out a piece of paper that looks suspiciously like notebook paper.
Namjoon is attempting to back out of the room to allow his friend a private moment, but stays just long enough to confirm that this is indeed the long-awaited letter.
When Jimin unfolds the paper enough to see the first line, addressed to him, he begins to greedily gulp down air.
She has beautiful handwriting.
Finding Namjoon’s eyes from across the room, Jimin wears his emotions on his sleeve. The hesitant hope and utter fear of what he’s about to read is apparent, and it’s with a quivering lip that he calls out for his friend.
“Can you stay with me?” He quietly requests. Namjoon nods, hastily coming to sit across from his friend on the couch.
In the silence, Jimin reads through the letter. Namjoon watches as his brows furrow. A hint of a smile touches his cheeks at the very beginning, and he mumbles something about Elle. Then his lips part in a pained, silent gasp.
He’s silent throughout, however as he gets to the final few sentences, he finds himself reading through them again and again. It’s almost as though his eyes deceive him, like something isn’t quite connecting.
I still want you.
I still want you.
I still want you.
I still-
His thoughts are interrupted when Joon reaches out to lightly nudge his knee. “You ok?”
Ok?
“Yes?” It’s a question more for himself than anything. His eyes drift back to the page, to Jolie’s swirling handwriting and the promising statement within.
It terrifies him to the bone, which only makes him frustrated. In his utter confusion, he reads through the letter again, assessing every word.
It’s a question that Jimin hadn’t thought to ask himself before. Now that his soulmate seems within reach, he hesitates. Why?
She still wants him. And while her reasoning is sound, albeit leading to rash and hurtful choices, Jimin finds himself feeling like he’s missing something as those four words echo through his mind.
When the answer comes to him, he gasps it out as though he’d been holding his breath.
“I want to believe her,” he says, looking like he’s just about ready to cry from the frustration. “But I- I-”
Namjoon just nods, an understanding look in his eyes. It’s that look that helps to calm Jimin down, his racing heart finding solace in the fact that it might be normal to find it difficult to trust so readily.
“I can’t,” he quietly confesses. “Not yet.”
“You don’t have to,” Namjoon reassures. “Just take it one step at a time.”
Finally setting the letter down, Jimin rubs at his face. “What step are we even on?”
Namjoon chuckles quietly at his question. “Who knows. This is uncharted territory. But the way I see it, you’re in control now. You decide if you want to move forward with her in whatever way you see fit, or if you’re ready to just leave it behind. Have a fresh start.”
While both thoughts seem to have their own terrifying aspects, Jimin knows that leaving Jolie in the past simply isn’t an option.
“She said she had an aunt here, but Joon, that’s it. I’m all she’s got left.” He doesn’t know why he brings that up now, but his heart aches to think of it. For nearly a year now, she’s been so alone. Going through her grief, hardly coping. “Which may sound a little pretentious, but...I don’t want her to be alone.”
Namjoon leans back against the cushions, and Jimin seems to realize for the first time that he’s sitting on a table. He makes no move to get off of it, simply leaning forward on his elbows with a creased brow.
“Then maybe that’s where you two start,” Namjoon muses. “Neither one of you is ready to just dive into a relationship - that should be the last thing on your mind. But for now...just don’t let her be alone. I mean, the best you can while keeping your distance until, you know, you’re ready.”
Namjoon’s advice soothes the gaping hole in Jimin’s chest, letting him breathe freely for a moment. Just one step at a time.
He realizes, for perhaps the first time in his life, that just because she’s his soulmate, Jimin doesn’t have to immediately hand over his heart. It’s in pieces at the moment as is, partly due to the severed thread hanging from his left hand and partly due to the tangible heartbreak in Jolie’s letter.
No, Jimin can first let it mend. Take his time to heal.
Perhaps they can heal together.
✂
“Ah, I’ve seen you in the news!” Christina snaps her finger as she makes the connection, grinning at Chung-hei who chuckles.
“Yeah, that’s me,” she sheepishly admits. “Please tell me I look even better in person.”
“Oh,” I chime in, “loads better. You looked hideous in those pictures they used.”
Taking a huge bite, Chung-hei vigorously nods. “I know, right?! I seriously almost called them up to ask them where I could send some better photos. If they’re going to be talking about me, they might as well have some good pictures to use.”
Sunmi nearly chokes on her milkshake, fanning her cheeks as she stifles a laugh. Christina smiles fondly at Chung-hei and I.
“Why didn’t you?” She asks, clearly invested in the story now.
Chung-hei takes her question in stride, setting her chopsticks down. It’s a clear sign that she’s going to become fully immersed in the storytelling now. I lean back, ready to watch the show.
“Namjoon’s a protective idiot, that’s why.”
Now I’m the one choking, Sunmi hitting my back even as she grins devilishly. “What?! Did I just hear you say something other than praise about Namjoon?”
“Oh, shut up.”
“Make me.”
Chung-hei levels me with a glare, scooting her chair back to get up. I immediately throw my hands up in surrender. “Ok! Ok! Just keep telling your story!”
The first few minutes between all of my friends had felt like seeing three different worlds collide. Of course, Christina was the odd one out among the other two: her profession made her a bit of an odd candidate. A part of me was dying to tell her story, to help Chung-hei and Sunmi see just how amazing she was. However, all it took were a few jokes at my expense (something that Hei and Christina both have an uncanny ability to do) before the three of them were picking at their food and chatting like the neighborhood gossips that they surely are.
“What was it like?” Sunmi asks, and suddenly I’m thrown back into reality and realizing that I just missed the entire story.
“It was…” judging from the faraway look in Chung-hei’s eyes, she’s talking about when she first met Namjoon. “I don’t know. I always expected sparks to fly or the world to stop spinning, but it wasn’t like that at all.”
I glance over at Christina, gauging to see if we’re veering into something that might make her uncomfortable. She catches my gaze, giving me a little nod that tells me she’s alright. Interested in the conversation, even.
“It just felt like coming home after a long day,” Chung-hei continues. “Like kicking off tight shoes and scrunching up your toes in the warm grass. Like the most common, simple things that life has to offer, that somehow make you believe that everything really will be alright in the end.”
My emotions get caught in my throat as I think about those little things and realize that it’s been far too long since I last drank in the beautiful normal.
“Wow.” I’m not sure who whispers it, but I grunt in agreement.
“That sounds so nice,” Sunmi says with wide eyes. Chung-hei smiles a radiant smile, one that isn’t too wide but reaches her eyes anyways.
“Yeah. It really is.”
The four of us get a little lost in our own thoughts, but eventually Christina clears her throat and shoots me a pointed look.
“So...what happened last night?”
Ah. Right.
Just like that, the reminder that my letter may very well be in Jimin’s hands right now has me fidgeting in my seat, just like I did all throughout my session with Dr. Mo.
With a tight smile, I explain the events of last night. How I essentially poured out my heart in the letter (this earns me a proud smile from Chung-hei), and how I confessed that he was all I wanted still.
The memory of him under those dazzling lights at the concert rush back to me. His white shirt loose on his body, hair swept back mainly because he kept running his hands through it. Full lips parting into a smile just as quickly as they would melt into a teasing pout. The crowd was wrapped around his finger, nearly as tightly as the bright red thread dangling from his left hand.
The thread that I stared and stared at while Chung-hei and I slipped backstage, growing ever nearer. Getting close enough that I swore I could hear his voice, his laugh like a waterfall.
I was drowning in that laugh, unable to come up for air until I found myself practically begging on my knees outside of Christina’s apartment.
“Hey,” Christina gently pulls me from my tormented state. “Are you nervous?”
Taking a deep breath, I let it out slowly before answering. “Yes.”
Sunmi, who sits beside me on the couch, wraps an arm around my shoulder and gives me a tight squeeze. Chung-hei abandons her food, leaving it on the coffee table and coming to sit on the other side of me.
“You told the truth,” she quietly comforts. “And that’s all you could do.”
I clench my jaw, staring at a wooden knot in the coffee table before me. “I told him that I forgave myself. But I feel like there’s so much I’ve done wrong, I hurt him too much-”
It’s Christina that rises from her chair and pushes everyone’s food aside until she can sit on the edge of the coffee table and reach out to cup my chin. Once I raise my eyes to hers, I see a raging fire in them.
“You don’t look back.” Her voice is made of steel straight out of the fire. “You cannot punish yourself for what’s already happened any more than you already have. Move forward. The only way to heal is to move forward and be better.”
I wonder for a moment how many times she’s repeated that to herself on the days when the shadows seemed a little darker and her past loomed a little larger.
“What do you think he’ll do?” I ask, my voice small.
Chung-hei sighs softly. “He still wants you...but I don’t know. He might need some time, Jolie.”
It stings, but I force myself to nod. My only hope is that he’ll allow me to somehow be a part of the time he needs to take for himself.
Eventually I ease into a semi-comfortable state, my friends chatting it up while I try to focus. Try as I might, my mind wanders back again and again to the letter. Maybe it got lost in the mail. Or maybe it won’t be delivered until tomorrow.
Maybe they really thought it was a bill and won’t open it for days, forgetting about it. It’s probably laying on that stupid kitchen island that Taehyung wants me to use for rolling dough out, collecting dust-
When my phone vibrates, I nearly jump out of my skin. My jolt makes Sunmi and Chung-hei jump as well, giggling lightly.
“Sorry,” I mumble, fishing my phone out of my back pocket. “My phone just-”
Elle’s bf 🙀: Hey...can we talk? Like, call?
I’ve rarely been able to curse fluently, but today appears to be the exception as a string of curses flow under my breath. The sentiment is mirrored as Sunmi and Chung-hei peer over my shoulder.
Christina doesn’t need to see the text to know what just happened. “He texted?”
“I’m gonna die,” I breathe out in response, heart rate ratcheting up at an alarming rate. “Dead, I’m dead-”
“Ok, look at me,” Chung-hei grabs my shoulders and forces a warm smile onto her face. “This is good-”
“Good?!” I shriek, looking down at my phone and back up at her. “How is this good? I feel like I’m gonna puke-”
“Great, but save the puking for after the phone call,” Chung-hei butts back in, taking charge of the moment. “Because right now there’s a boy on the other side of that message trying to be brave, and he needs you. He’s probably freaking out, and he needs some answers and reassurance that his soulmate really actually meant every word she wrote in that letter. And you meant it, didn’t you?”
I find myself nodding along, wishing that I hadn’t just eaten a ridiculous amount of food. Not as my stomach churns at the thought of talking in real time with Jimin.
“Go ahead and text him back,” Sunmi coos, the calm to Hei’s invincible will. “And...you know what, nevermind. I’ll ask about the way you have him saved under your phone later.”
It takes me an embarrassing amount of time to formulate a response, and even longer to type it out without making any typos. Staring at the send button, I groan, unable to press it just yet.
“I really might throw up.”
“I’ll get you a glass of water.” Christina springs up from the couch as Chung-hei begins to rub soothing lines up and down my arms. Despite the warm temperature in the room, I can’t stop shivering.
“If you want us here, that’s fine...but I also think it might be good for it to just be the two of you. So you can talk freely” Hei gently advises, so different from the little pep talk mere moments before.
I stare at the wall, chewing ferociously on the inside of my lip. The thought of my friends not being here makes me feel even more vulnerable, but at the same time I know this is something I have to do alone.
“Will you come back after?”
“Of course,” Sunmi reassures. “We’ll just go on a ride or something while you two talk. Text us when you’re done, and we’ll be back before you know it.”
Christina sets the glass of water in my hand, urging me to drink. With a few swigs that help to clear my head and temporarily calm my stomach, I press send.
Me: Of course. I’m free right now, go ahead and call if you can.
I’m not sure if I want to cry or squeal.
Both. I want to do both.
My three friends get up (Christina taking her food with her, a detail I hardly notice) and file through the door, offering me warm smiles and words of encouragement. Try and I might, I can hardly register them amidst the swirling feelings of panic and doubt crawling through my veins.
The sound of the door closing is what makes the first tear slip out.
Grabbing my phone and staring at the couch before deciding that I’d rather the comfort of my blankets and pillows, I jump and stub my toe against the coffee table when Elle jumps through the kitchen window. She appears to be unbothered, but follows me into my room and leaps onto the bed. She circles my feet before brushing up against my calves, laying between my legs. Resting her chin on my shin, she looks up at me with those big eyes of hers.
Waiting, just like I am.
I’m not sure how long it takes, but it feels like an agonizing eternity before the phone finally rings.
When it does, I scoop it up and stare at if for a moment. I pinch myself for good measure, giving myself one last chance to wake up.
Of course, I don’t wake up. This isn’t a dream. I realize that when my shaky thumb swipes to accept the call and I bring the phone to my ear.
It’s quiet, but I can hear the soft, shaky breath on the other side of the phone. Almost like Jimin was holding his breath but couldn’t quite hold it any longer.
It takes me approximately four seconds to remember that I’m supposed to say hello.
Of course, I fail even at that. “Jimin?”
It’s not the most eloquent way to answer the phone, but I need to know.
“Jolie.”
✂
“Jimin?”
Jimin stands outside on the balcony, facing the large pines that obscure his view of the rest of the neighborhood. When he hears the breathy, slightly panicked voice on the other end of the phone, he realizes that he should definitely be sitting down for this conversation.
“Jolie.” It’s a statement that should have been a question, but he knows - knew, from the single syllable his soulmate had utter, his name, no less, that it had been her.
It had to be her. His name had never sounded so beautiful coming from any other mouth.
When the silence stretches on, Jimin sinks to the ground and sits facing those great pines. The railing obstructs his view a bit, but it isn’t like he’s actually watching them. No, his gaze is a little dazed as he scrambles for something to say.
“I- I got your letter.”
There’s a pause in which Jimin is absolutely positive he hears a sniffle - the pitiful sound making him reach out to grab the metal bars of the balcony railing for support.
“Oh.” And then, “I’m sorry, I’m such a mess right now-”
“No, I am too,” Jimin rushes to reassure her. “I think it’s safe to say that we’re both a bit of a mess.”
He hears a wry chuckle and suddenly he can’t help but smile slightly, basking in the short-lived sound. “Jimin, I…”
“What?” Eager to hear what comes next, Jimin can’t help but widen his eyes as if that will urge Jolie to continue.
“I...t-thank you for the flowers.”
Someone might as well have brought him back to life. Shoulders relaxing and lungs expanding, Jimin blinks and finally sees the trees.
“Thank you for the letter.”
✂
Jimin’s voice is deeper than I thought it would be. His soft, angelic singing voice acts as a good cover for the delicious timbre coming through the phone.
Of course, I may be biased.
“You’re welcome,” I manage to squeak out. “You deserved an explanation. I hope it didn’t leave you more confused than before.”
“No,” he responds, dragging the word out in a way that makes me feel warm. “It was beautiful. I’m so sorry, Jolie, about your parents. I wish I could do something- change it.”
The familiar pang of pain strikes true, but it fails to linger like it normally does. “It’s nobody’s fault, Jimin.” His name is delicious on my tongue, and I fight the urge to say it again. “But I really, just...I know saying I’m sorry doesn’t cut it, but for what it’s worth...I’m sorry. So, so sorry.”
It’s quiet except for the sound of a breeze and distant chirping, leading me to believe that he’s outside. If I close my eyes, I’m right there with him.
“Thank you. I...that means a lot. Thank you.” He takes a deep breath, and I can tell that he’s getting to the reason he called in the first place. “This might sound a little strange, but I need to say it.”
“Go on,” I urge.
“You mentioned - don’t hate me, because you said it was the cheesy part,” I can’t help but snort at his playful manner that peeks through. “But you sounded like you were willing to give this a try…? Give us a try?”
Blinking rapidly to dispel any lingering tears, I nod even though he can’t see me. “Yes. But only if you want to. I completely understand if you feel like you can’t after everything that’s happened-”
“I want to. I- I want you.”
My heart pounding in my ears, I bite down a gasp. “You do?”
“But just...can we take this slowly?”
Letting out a sigh of relief, a tentative smile makes its way to my lips. “Yes, please.”
Judging from Jimin’s little laugh, he’s more than happy with my response. “Good. I just don’t want to be alone anymore, you know? And hey, if I remember correctly, you thought I was funny-
“Woah, I thought Jaemin was funny, not you. You’re gonna have to start all over now.”
Jimin makes a sound of protest that I hope masks the schoolgirl-like giggle I let out at the sound. “Really? You’re ridiculous. Hey! Is Elle there?”
“Oh, she is! She’s sitting here eavesdropping, wanna say hello?”
“Yes, put me on speaker. I’ve missed my cat.”
“Your cat? Really?”
“Yah, put me on speaker already-”
His voice cuts off, and I strain to hear another person that speaks in the background. It’s muffled, but despite the poor quality I can hear the panic in their voice. A moment later Jimin returns, however his joking banter is gone. Indeed, he sounds deadly serious as he tries to calmly speak.
“Jolie,” he begins, and suddenly it’s cold. “You’re at home, right?”
“Yeah,” I answer. “What happened?”
“Stay inside,” Jimin instructs, not answering my question. “Do not leave, you understand me? And don’t let anyone inside. I don’t care who it is, do not let anyone in.”
My blood runs cold at that. “Jimin, you’re scaring me, what’s going-”
“Promise me.”
The pure desperation in his voice leaves me paralyzed, but I manage to speak. “I promise. But Jimin, what’s happening? Is everything ok?”
“I’ll call you tonight, ok? Just- don’t leave.”
With that, he bids me goodbye and the line clicks off. Scrambling to pull up the numer, I immediately call Chung-hei.
It rings and rings, eventually going to her voicemail. I end the call only to begin a new one to Christina.
Again, no answer.
Sunmi’s number is the last one I try, holding the phone up to my ear. “C’mon, pick up, pick up,” I chant, pulling my knees up to my chest.
But it just rings, over and over again.
“Hello, this is Kang Sunmi. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to take your call, please leave a message-”
Ending the call with a violent jab, I start the calls again from the top.
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Blood, Guts and Chocolate Cake
Rating: Mature
Fandom: Danganronpa
Pairings: IshiMondo
Summary:
Mondo Owada, the Ultimate Bodyguard, is entering a four year contract with one Kiyotaka Ishimaru, the Ultimate Idol. It makes sense, two Ultimates put together for their high school careers, and he could use the steady pay check to send home to Daiya; those medical bills were a bitch, and it was his fault the accident happened in the first place.
It was supposed to be easy, guard the cutesy, clean-cut idol from perverts and stalkers, no big deal! However, the world's perception of Kiyotaka Ishimaru was far different than what the young idol had become. During the first few months before even stepping into Hope's Peak, he's more worried for the young boy than he's ever been for anyone before.
TW: Alcohol, and eating disorders (both restrictive behaviours and B/P), mentions of disability, underage sex/sexualisation, drugs
The hallways of this damn building were too long.
That was definitely the first impression Mondo got, being led down said monotonous hallways by a young woman with an expression which implied that she simply wasn’t paid enough to care about small talk. Not that he had any room to judge, hands shoved in his pockets and a permanent scowl on his face. He might’ve been going to review an upcoming contract, but the best thing about his position was that there was no need to be all smiley; Hope Peak’s choice for Ultimate Bodyguard was all the credentials he needed at this point.
Still, he couldn’t help but feel a bit intimidated by how long he would be working with these record label types. He couldn’t deny it made sense - hire the Ultimate Bodyguard to protect the Ultimate Idol, sound logic; it was just that a four year contract was… a lot. That wasn’t even thinking about the fact he was going to be glued to the guy’s hip for all that time, having to get along no matter what. Would he even have time to make friends of his own? Doubtful. Still, a paycheck was a paycheck, and he’d have to go to some highschool anyway, so kill two birds with one stone.
He’d never had an issue smiling through vapid celebrity bullshit before. It was going to be an easy ride, too; from what he knew, the guy was as prim and proper as they came. Real boy next door image. Easy to take care of, and mainly just telling overzealous fans to back the fuck up. Simple.
His inner monologue was broken by an abrupt stop, the woman only sending a bored glance his way before knocking. The door was pushed ajar with the quiet muttering of “Mondo Owada to see you, gentlemen”, before he was unceremoniously shepherded into the room.
It was just as big as you’d expect from a building like this, with a gargantuan desk and several business-types sitting across from him. They were even backlit by a floor-to-ceiling window showing Tokyo in all its glory - like some cheesy ass movie. Still, taking a cursory glance around the room, he couldn’t see anyone fitting the description of “teen idol”, let alone Ishimaru himself...
“Owada-san, good afternoon!” One of the men greeted cheerfully, clasping his hand in one of those firm yet professional grips he’d gotten used to since rising up in his career, “My name is Shiro Kamei, and these gentlemen are Kenshin Aki and Yutaka Hayashida. We’re Kiyotaka Ishimaru-san’s managers.”
“Well, that answers one question,” He shrugged, not sugarcoating his words, but not being as rude as he certainly could be, “But I don’t see Ishimaru-san around. If I’m meeting with anyone, I personally think it should be with the guy I’m gonna be with 24/7, for the next four years.”
“Of course!” Kamei-san chirped, far too cheerful for his taste, especially considering the stench of ass-kissing that followed it. Not sincere, but too many meetings like this one had trained him to swallow down the vomit that threatened to spew from the fakeness of it all.
“Ishimaru-san will be here soon,” Hyashida-san intoned, temperament a bit more palatable than Mr Chipper, “He’s a rather busy young man, being an idol of his caliber. Dance practice is just wrapping up, any minute now, so we can use this time to have a little chat - go through expectations for your role and such.”
Mondo managed to stop himself raising an eyebrow at that. Like he wasn’t the best bodyguard in Japan. He guessed it was something needed for a job of this sort, not temping or whatever, and so he settled down for a bunch of timewasting jabber.
Or, it was, until a certain request caught his attention.
“We also expect him to be kept out of, well… trouble…”
“Thought he was a cutesy, innocent kid?” He frowned, sitting a little straighter in his seat, attention piqued, “I’m guessing he’s the kind to get mouth-breathers and creeps, huh?”
The three men looked a little more caged at that remark. A couple cleared throats, a few tugged collars and cuffs, awkward air.
“Yes, there have been incidents, but nothing previous security couldn’t handle,” Aki-san informed, “The issue is a recent change in attitude. Nothing much, but tugging on the leash more than necessary, if you understand my meaning.”
He did. Part of him wanted to object to the idea that a sixteen year old needed to be kept on a leash at all, but idol shit was full of PR.
“So boy next door is going through a little rebellion, and you want me to make sure it stays on the DL,” He shrugged, “Got it.”
“I wouldn’t put it like that, Owada-san -!”
Kamei-san was interrupted by several short, sharp raps, door opening to reveal the man of the hour.
Ishimaru was pretty, no denying that. His eyes were what really caught everyone’s attention; bright, wide and doll-like. That said nothing about his facial structure - cheekbones and jawline and everything prominent - or his barbie doll-esque frame. He was probably one of the slimmest people Mondo had ever seen, at least in person. Well, and outside of a hospital. The media went absolutely gaga over his thigh gap, his lithe abs and delicate hip bones.
He personally prefers a little more meat on the bones, a little less fragile, but he guessed it was an idol’s job to appeal to the masses.
“Good morning, everybody!” He beams, but honestly? The sunshine emanating from him is a lot warmer - a lot more real - than Kamei-san. He actually had to take a second to come back to himself, knocked off equilibrium. The power of the Ultimate Idol, for you.
“Kiyotaka, this is Mon -”
“Mondo Owada,” He cuts in, wanting to introduce himself, cut the preamble, and offers his hand to shake, “‘M gonna be the one guarding you.”
Ishimaru gives him a once over, and for two seconds he thinks he sees a smirk pull at the corner of the young man’s lips, but he soon brushes it off as a trick of the light.
“Thank you so much for accepting our proposition, Owada-san!” He grins, and Mondo hates his little bi heart at that moment. Ishimaru clasps his hand. He can’t help but feel that they’re too calloused for a pretty boy idol, but he doesn’t dwell on it, “I hope we get along well!”
He’s loud, but the words are sweet, and Mondo relaxes a little bit. Easy job, as he thought.
---
Mondo was proven wrong in a matter of three days into his contract. He’d certainly been proven wrong far quicker than that before; however, in terms of sheer what-the-fuckery-is-this, this situation took the cake.
The train journey to the first tour destination wasn’t bad, if tedious. Kid spent all his time reading, and Mondo had no clue how he didn’t puke all over the place from staring at the pages. He’d looked at his phone for about five minutes and was ready to lie down and accept his death.
… Trains were not his prefered method of transportation…
Ishimaru had passed on the sandwiches on offer, but so did Mondo. No big deal. Those things sucked ass, and maybe the kid was more nauseous than he seemed. Wish that was him, considering he was pretty sure his face was pale green.
Settling into the hotel was fine, as was the tech set up in the venue. Stress emanating off everyone, but pretty normal as far as that shit was concerned. Ishimaru was dragged between costume fittings, tech run throughs and other things that just passed in a blur.
No, what really proved to Mondo that the pretty boy idol was going through an actual rebellious phase, was what he walked in on at 11:56pm, night three.
He’d gotten up due to a serious inability to sleep. Seriously, did he manage to get jet lag without even switching time zones? Nah, didn’t work like that. Maybe it was second hand adrenaline from the performance being tomorrow. Ishimaru might not make his kind of music, but the guy had this infectious enthusiasm for it all. He’d be backstage, too; premo location to see everything up close. He couldn’t help the slight smile on his face, in spite of how tired he felt.
Any fleeting, fuzzy feelings disappeared, however, when he walked into the main area of their hotel suite.
There stood Ishimaru, back to him, very much not dressed for bed. His jeans were so tight they looked spray painted on, not to mention the sequined top that cut off to show a tantalising flash of milky pale skin.
“Where’re you off to?”
His question seemed to startle the kid, who practically jumped three feet in the air, hand clutching his chest as he whirled on him.
“Fuck, what’s your problem?” He gasped out. Mondo couldn’t help but let his eyes widen, having not heard the boy swear since they met. Admittedly, it was only a few days, but Ishimaru just gave off such an innocent vibe. He’d questioned if the boy even knew a swear word for a while.
“The guy I’m meant to protect is running off into the city at midnight, and obviously didn’t plan to tell me,” He answered bluntly, “So, come on, where’re you trying to slink off to?”
“None of your business,” He sniffed, shoulders squaring, “And stop… talking to me like that. Like I’m a child. It’s annoying as shit.”
“Alright, sor-ry, jeez,” He apologised, hands up in surrender, “Let me just grab my coat and -”
“No!” Ishimaru ground out, “I’m going out, you're staying here, and my managers are none the wiser, got it?”
Oh, that sneaky fucker. While Mondo was all for personal freedom, no way was the scrawny kid going out there to get attacked and murdered in some urine soaked alleyway. For one, it’d completely fuck up his plans for the next four years - no money to send back to Daiya, and he seriously doubted Hope’s Peak would want an Ultimate Bodyguard who let the world’s most popular idol get murdered in a matter of days.
“Yeah, no, not happening, kid,” He shut down, reaching over the boy to get his coat, only for hands to press against his chest, stopping him.
“What do you want then? Money?” Ishimaru asked, looking up at him through his lashes. Fuck, the kid really went all out with the makeup; smokey eyeshadow and liner, glossed lips, the whole deal, “Or I can suck your dick?”
He nearly choked at that, face hot as hell and probably an embarrassing shade of red. “N-No! What the fuck?!” He yelled, only earning a shrug in response.
“Look, I need to go out - alone,” Ishimaru began again, arguing a point Mondo simply wasn’t going to agree with, “I need to get a little fucked up, railed into some guy’s mattress, and then I’ll come back. I’ll be here again before sunrise.”
“Tugging on the leash more than necessary”, his ass!
“Sorry, you're talking to the wrong guy,” He dismissed, doing his best impression of Daiya’s you done fucked up voice he could, “Back to bed. Don’t think you’re sneaking out, either. I’m just gonna stay out here all night, make sure you don’t go and get yourself cut up and dumped in the river. Y’know, my job.”
“Fuck you,” Ishimaru spat, storming back to his room with a mutter of ,“Asshole…”
If Mondo knew one thing, it was this… He’d really had no idea what he was signing himself up for.
---
A/N:
WOW, it's been a while since I've written for this fandom. Thank you Taka and Mondo for being an adorable pair of dumbasses and dragging me right back into DR. Hopefully, I'll add to my old fics too, but I've got lots of new ideas I want to play with (Including two other talentswaps and two AUs!)
For now, Ouran fics are on the back burner, I'm afraid. I'm sure I'll be back to them soon enough, but I'm a bit burnt out in my OHSHC obsession, so we'll see.
Also, as always, comments really help and if you want to take any of these concepts and run, go for it! All I ask is a credit and a link if possible! :)
#danganronpa#Dangan Ronpa#dr talentswap#idol!Ishimaru#bodyguard!Mondo#ishimondo#Kiyotaka Ishimaru#mondo oowada#blood guts and chocolate cake series#my fanfiction
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so i've read a lot of fanfiction bc frankly i don't do much with my time
i decided i should impart my knowledge aka share some of my top fics
today: malec. not the ship that got me into fanfics, but the one that kept me there (is that weird to say? i've read a lot of malec fics. i've gone through like a good 1000 pages of search results at this point.)
keep reading for the recs :)
so anyways here's the list
1. a cold night for good deeds, by theprophetlemonade. this one is definitely my all-time favourite fic, hands down. settle in for 500k words of neonoir superhero slowburn, i promise it's worth it. such a good story (like legitimately well written), it's exciting, it's intriguing, and all round a good read. i just started my fourth(?) reread. i cannot praise this fic enough.
rating: explicit, graphic depictions of violence.
my top tags: love square, identity crisis, moral ambiguity
2. Families of Choice, by MonPetitTresor. another one of my all-time favourites, this time featuring fluffy family time. canon divergent pre-canon, loosely based on shameless (as the tags informed me, i myself have not watched it), and featuring two characters from another show (the magicians? i think) as warlocks, who you will instantly fall in love with. the main draw of this one: a very awesome, super cool, totally thoughtful and accurate, queerplatonic relationship- arguably it takes more precedence than the actually shippy ship.
rating: explicit, creator chose not to use archive warnings.
my top tags: family feels, platonic cuddling, not every touch is sex!
3. the A Fine Institution series, by clottedcreamfudge. read the whole series, it is absolutely amazing. clottedcreamfudge is one of my favourite authors, the series also features a full compliment of podfics and a clean edition of the series. the basic premise sounds incredibly odd, but honestly it’s so good: the institute is sentient, and she likes alec. alec is like a son to her. and she is fed up with him and magnus not getting together, so she takes matters into her own... hands? metaphorically speaking.
rating: varies story to story, everything from gen to explicit (available entirely gen), no archive warnings apply.
my top tags: sleep deprivation, accidental baby acquisition, happy ending
4. The Lonely Hearts Hotline, by Fatale (femme). this is a funny one. in short, alec is a phone sex operator to afford living with his unpaid law internship (boo, capitalism). someone, *wink wink nudge nudge*, calls the phone line and just wants to talk about music. bonding ensues.
rating: explicit, no archive warnings apply.
my top tags: this fic only has two additional tags, and they are as follows- “phone sex, some other stuff”
5. Universally Acknowledged, by astudyinfic. a pride and prejudice fusion. (i have not read pride and prejudice). it’s historical-y, it has several balls, and almost nothing goes horribly terribly wrong. i’m pretty sure nothing on here will have an unhappy ending, so fear not. i am weak of spirit and dislike even bittersweet endings (not a fan of la la land, for comparison).
rating: explicit, no archive warnings apply (i swear i have ones that aren’t explicit somewhere).
my top tags: most of the women are awful, which i feel terrible about, internalised homophobia, supportive siblings
6. Names, by Oumy. in this fun twist on regular soulmates AUs, everyone has three soulmate names on their wrist- friendship, love, and an enemy. alec only has one. go figure. also he’s about to become emperor, which sounds like the perfect time to meet his one name. it’s pretty sweet, and has a good plot, and i’ve read it at least a couple of times. and it has assassins, and politics, if that’s your thing.
rating: teen (finally got one), no archive warnings apply.
my top tags: enemies to friends to lovers, political intrigue, assassins
7. Flawed Design, by GoldenDaydreams. another soulmates fic, this time with extra soulmarks for notable events. it begins with adorable baby alec, and stays that great. soulmate words, misunderstandings, and general saltiness abound. there is also a shorter companion fic focusing on heline in the same series, which can be read after or alongside (or before but possibly with some spoilers).
rating: mature, graphic depictions of violence.
my top tags: enemies to allies to lovers, sibling boding, pillow & blanket forts
8. One step ahead, by apathyinreverie. a different first meeting, almost pre-canon, changes a surprising number of things. in all honesty i haven’t read this one in a while, but i know it’s good (i download Really Good fics and it’s in my downloads so). from what i remember, it’s a nice, catch-all fix-it of show canon.
rating: teen, no archive warnings apply.
my top tags: fix-it, developing relationship; it’s in the collection “fics so good i want to throw my chair out the window”
9. and finally, Sixteenth Sunset, by Miss_Shiva_Adler + nhixxie. a short(er, still 29k) one to finish this post (there will probably be more, because there are several almost-entirely-smut fics i didn’t feel like fit in here). it’s astronauts and relationship development and mutual pining and cuteness. throw in some tasteful flashbacks and space things, and bam. sixteenth sunset.
rating: teen, creator chose not to use archive warnings.
my top tags: gays... IN SPACE, how do you cuddle in microgravity you ask? this fic has all the answers, NASA knows they’re pining
as i said just there i’ll probably do more posts like this but a) they’re long and hyper-specific and probably won’t interest most people (hence the keep reading button), and b) it took forever to curate this and i need to stop and go to sleep now but i’m still going to stay up reading a cold night for good deeds because it’s that good and you should all read it it is Good Literature (and i’m and english nerd).
#long post#fanfiction#fanfics#fanfic#fics#fic rec#fic reccomendations#fanfic rec#fanfic reccomendation#malec#shadowhunters#a cold night for good deeds#families of choice#a fine institution#the lonely hearts hotline#universally acknowledged#names#flawed design#one step ahead#sixteenth sunset#goose reccomends fanfic
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…the ugly. SYAC: The Master Review 4
Last post I covered much of what I consider the good or passable strips of SYAC of the pre-Dobbear era. What I have admittedly not covered yet, were three certain characters of the strip that exist beside Dobson.
Persistent Pam
Curmudgeonly Carl
And… this guy I am not even sure has a name.
No, seriously. He shows up in like the 61th strip of the series for the first time and yet I never see his name mentioned once
All I know is that he is an accountant, who pities Dobson (for good reason)
And despite Dobson not liking alcohol, they regularly meet up in a bar as if they are some late 80s comedy duo
Funnily enough, he shows up way before Pam, who would have her premiere in these strips
And despite only showing up in a few strips after her premiere (mostly to make “fun” of overbearing and snarky commissioners I suppose…)
She actually managed something no other character or series by Dobson managed to get: A fanclub
Not that she would really be of any major importance afterwards.
As for Carl, he is supposed to be something like an antagonistic embodiment of Dobson’s “old” art teachers and people being stuck in old ways, who shows up for the following strips forming a sort of arc.
In addition, it is very obvious, that Carl is supposed to be a mockery of people flaming Dobson. Not helped by the fact that THIS character sheet of him made by Dobson assures us, that there were quite a few even less “endorsing” things he wanted to name the character.
Yet funnily enough, Carl turned into such a popular character with readers, Dobson was essentially “forced” to make him reappear in other strips. Not of the “classical” SYAC strips, but he showed up as the “antagonist” to Tenku in the storydriven multi pagers. Though even antagonist is a strong word, as he is essentially more of a jerkish art teacher and college advisor who is harsh on Tenku, but actually has his best interests in mind. To the point he even offers him to be his “harsher” art critic in the years till he enters college, because he wants to see him grow artistically.
However, Carl was also more of an “accident”. Cause when it came otherwise to tackling criticism or things that irked Dobson (and were not anime related) he would end up more or less creating strips that painted him in a manner where he would supposedly always look like “the better” compared to his opposition or mock it. Which is where a lot of the irk Dobson would earn over the years eventually comes from.
Now to be fair, I do not want to call every comic in that regard “strawmanning”, nor do I want to say that Dobson doesn’t have the right to also mock to a certain extend the mentality of certain “snobs” and so on. For example…
On one hand, I know there are people out there who think they are “special” by having the best tools at their disposal. When in reality you can achieve good results also with less expensive stuff. So mocking that sort of attitude is fine to me to some extend
BUT, when you also make down the line a comic like this…
… essentially making yourself come off as a “better” artist or person than others because you have “chosen” the better mass produced crap (btw, that is coming from someone who types this review on a Mac that runs Windows) , then the hypocrisy ends up to be rather strong with you.
Which is also essentially the biggest issue with the strips I am about to show. The hypocrisy of Andrew Dobson. And no, I do not mean the tumblr blog by that. I mean the simple fact, that the content of some of the soon to follow strips gets kinda muddled when you take into consideration some of the things real life Dobson had said and done either at the time or in the years to come. Well that and the way how he tries to mock issues people have with his work, not realizing how he is essentially just reassuring those “silly critics” in their opinions while making his flaws more obvious to people that may have been previously unaware of them.
But enough talk, let me just show you in quick succession examples to confirm said point.
Considering Dobson’s longterm disdain for DnD you have to wonder what the joke really is outside of him portraying DnD players as ugly nerds, supposedly too geeky even for him. Which is hilarious in hindsight as he would years later become a fan of TAZ among other things.
Less hypocritical but the set up is kinda flawed. Like, you are obviously at a convention trying to sell stuff. Why would some old dude not interested in “kids crap” be at the convention anyway? Is he just bringing someone there and just wants to go, but first needs time to belittle your life choices?
Rather hilarious in hindsight to me. Cause for someone claiming he has ideas that last for a life time and who seems rather distraught on the idea of others giving their input, he turned out to be so in need of ideas. Alex ze Pirate e.g. became from 2015 onward only defined by Dobson talking about the sexualities of his characters (and not even in comic as by that point it was discontinued, but rather in tweets and so on). Formera, which ran heavily on cheap shonen anime tropes ended up cancelled after two volumes, Cabin Rest was a failure after 20 strips, 2019 he relied primarily on cheap comics about Miraculous Ladybug and his understanding of certain genres is so bad, he can’t even think up the most basic ideas for a magical girl story.
Weirdly enough, that pitch of a garbage truck driver who fights crime? I think that could make for an enjoyable short story about a vigilante a la the Punisher or Sin-City.
The way Dobson perceives criticism, while also essentially giving a quick rundown how he appreciated criticism in his childhood way better than in adulthood. Yeah, because criticism by your parents as a kid was always VERY constructive. (looks back at certain drawings from own childhood) brrr. And sorry Dobson, but sometimes criticism by strangers is better than criticism from friends. Cause friends may mince their words. Plus people have over time given you quite some insightful criticism aside “U SUX” when it comes to comics. You were just never willing to listen
Hey Dobson, you hear that? That is the sound of your career, dying and no one caring.
Yeah, I think someone who made such “brilliant” comedy as in these comics, totally has the right not to listen to what seems to be solid theoretical advice.
BTW, that Talus comic… I swear to god the worst “joke” Dobson ever told.
Wow. You essentially make a point why you suck at drawing. While still not trying to change.
And as someone else once said: Don’t play with fire if you can’t deal with the heat, BLOCK-son!
This is not how I perceived your shit over the years. See, on one hand it is true that Alex ze Pirate e.g. has its own webpage to read the comic for free. HOWEVER most of his comics Dobson would hide from the start behind a paywall. The idea being that he would e.g. put a small reading sample of 10-15 pages up somewhere and then expect people to buy his comic for full price to get the rest. And you know, if you are e.g. a professionally published writer, that is fine. But when your average art output looks like THIS
And you expect people to pay more than 10 dollars for something that is only around 70 pages long while most people can get 200+ pages for the same amount of money that look like this…
You can frankly go and screw yourself.
On one hand I get that the joke is meant to be, that as an independent content creator you may find yourself in a weird spot where your “child friendly” work may be put in a palace between edgier stuff other creators sell at conventions. On the other hand, I find it rather insulting in hindsight, that self declared feminist Andrew Dobson portrays such competition as either psychopathic murderers or stereotypical cartoon bimbos. If modern day Dobson saw the same strip by any other person, he would be insulted on behalf of the female that she is portrayed as a bimbo, when she could also be a very smart and attractive woman who knows how to tell brave and sexy stories.
Also, I have read your “child friendly” stuff, Dobson. I would call Atea or Alex abusive bitches who like to bully orphans but child friendly? Not to forget that your work is so basic and shallow in depth, it’s like the someone tried to create a chimera out of some of the worst traits associated with Dora the Explorer, 80s toodler cartoons and the Fairly Oddparents.
I frankly hate this theory on comedy. It is true, a lot of comedy can be deprived from conflict, misunderstandings etc. Looney Tunes, Tom and Jerry and other cartoons as well as screwball comedies such as Rat Race can depend on it. Heck, one of my favorite comedians of all time is Christopher Titus, who based his entire career on the misery and absurdity of his life.
But comedy is not just defined by misery and conflict.
There are for example also the following theories when it comes to comedy…
And to get back e.g. to Titus, yes, he has build a lot of his comedy on the bad stuff that happened in his life. But he is also someone who in his comedy has build a lot of punchlines on the absurdity of certain situations he has been in life but which in a way have enriched his life positively.
What I am trying to say is, comedy (and entertainment in that regard) does not just have to be defined by misery. And all things considered Dobson, you could have really tried to also just make comics wherein either you or your characters are just happy with their situation in life.
For example, this page from an Owl House fancomic?
I think it holds more entertainment value than your “joke” right here, despite not even telling a joke.
Simply because as a page overall, it tries to convey a positive emotion. Which is more than I can say about the strip.
Because of a lack of different level of thickness regarding your lines, which would trick people into perceiving depth, the fact that the fill bucket and shade layers can only do so much to cover for the rather monochromatic dull nature of your comic, the fact that your characters are not really all that complex and look rather simplicstic even compared to stuff from a comic like this…
And that is just coming from the top of my head as someone who never studied art. If any reader has something to add, I am willing to listen
And considering you could in later years never keep up to any release schedule, which among other things resulted in only three SYAC strips in total being released in 2016, I say go fuck yourself. Not to forget that even some of the worst newspaper comic strips out there tend to actually find a decent following and good jokes eventually, otherwise they would not manage to stay popular for years, if not even decades.
As someone who has worked internships a lot in life, I just want to say fuck you in all our names. Glad to see you having just as much respect for interns than any other scumbag on the planet. Probably even less respect, cause you know, in some places interns tend to get paid.
Also, there is supposedly an entire real world story going on about Dobson having worked at his former university at the time the comic came out and Chaz is based on a fellow intern.
Things are unfortunately rather vague in that regard and only hold up by demonstrative evidence such as the name of Chaz showing up in certain pages of the university and Dobson’s internship being mentioned somewhere.
Well, would you look at that: People have different opinions on your stuff.
There are ways to draw memes funny and then there are ways to fail at them
You failed.
Funnily enough, that comic rings a lot truer to text than you expect. Considering how Dobson would often emulate certain aesthetics in his comics of shows that were rather passee by the time he published his stuff, plus how he will obsess over certain trends and games for years to come (like Skyrim or his Quiet Hate Boner) while also being unaware about current trends (how do you e.g. not have heard of My Hero Academia by 2018 at least once by accident?) Dobson has always been kinda late to the party. Missing the “zeitgeist” of nerd culture and as such never quite finding an audience.
Yeah, what Pam says. Not helped by the fact that yes, the floating eyebrows are real. Look at some earlier sketches or “professionally published” comics by his and you will see that each time characters get excited, their eyebrows will suddenly split into sets of three and float higher than Pennywise’s victims.
Ironically, that fits real life Dobson at the time and later on even more so than this comic version did. Sorry, but what am I supposed to call a person who has an hate boner on anime for years for superfluous reasons, made Danny and Spot a “gaming webcomic” deliberately to piss on non Nintendo fans and has admitted in some by now deleted youtube video, that he kept a list of usernames from an old forum just to remember even years later the people that were mean to him online?
Fuck both of you. I do not expect the Sixtin Chapel in the background, but something to filll up the empty space behind you is at times needed.
The comic here is actually called politics. … ironic how things changed once a certain reality show host turned president.
Jesus Christ. I am not even that much of a Transformers fan (Prime fan for life however) but even I know that this is not supposed to be what you design the head of a Transformer like. Not even if they ever produce the Transformers equivalent of Teen Titans Go.
Too bad you still can’t stand the heat, otherwise you wouldn’t have completely disappeared last year.
When you know you are in a no win situation, and still manage to choose an even dumber option to escape. I really don’t get it. I just think the Portal reference makes the comic dated and Dobsn’s attempt at a smug face looks so stupid. Like his cheeks are falling in and his mouth is about ready to get raped by a garden hose or something.
Yeah, considering Dobson’s later constant need for safe spaces and to be in control of a situation and the narrative, which led to so many blocks over the years… if you know anything about Dobson, how this comic becomes harsher in hindsight is rather self explanatory. I just want to say one thing: There is a difference between genuine agoraphobia and just wanting to be by yourself. And I think Dobson just prefers the later on average. Which is okay, but humans still need to interact with other human beings in one form or another, even just for the sake of keeping their mental health stable. Why do you think are so many people getting depressed in times of covid lockdowns, despite many having all sorts of technical gimmicks at their disposal to at least keep boredom at bay?
And by putting himself into a bubble like that, I think Dobson has deprived himself of some of the most basic human interaction, which was likely a severe factor in his mental degeneration over the last years.
It is still a valid suggestion! Just draw some cartoon characters or a nice fantasy scenario on a mural and earn yourself some bucks. Just be sure they are not by Disney or the Mouse will tear down the school!
… Just google up the words Andrew Dobson and Samus Aran commission by ED and you will see how this comic just further shows how much Dobson seems to actually be proud of being an unproductive asshole.
And by the way, I know that any form of artistic work takes time. Just writing these review posts takes a lot of time for me. But that doesn’t change the fact that people should post and create stuff in a timely fashion, especially when there are e.g. deadlines to hold up too. And by the way, Sloth’s don’t have fingers, they have claws!
And that is it.
Sorry if I missed anything folks, but I just saw how many pages in word this is already filling up, so I call quits for this part here right now. I think I made my point about how Dobson trying to badly deflect arguments people may make against his art and work ethics via jokes clear enough, while also showing some posts that are either harsher or hilarious in hindsight.
Next time we will however address one certain issue about our main character, that has been not directly addressed here. In the meantime, have a little fun video that shows hopefully how entertainment and a certain amount of comedy can be gained NOT via misery.
youtube
#adobsoncomic#Andrew Dobson#Tom Preston#comic#webcomics#syac#so...you are a cartoonist#review#master review
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My Guardian Demon: Chapter 1 Part 4: Unrealistic doesn’t mean it’s impossible.
Relationship: Izuku Midoriya X (Reader)
Rating 16+
TW: Swearing
PROMPT QUESTION FOR THIS STORY ARC: Are all demon’s ‘bad’?
[Masterlist] [<-- Previous | Next -->]
“—The spike of thief demons has---” Nope.
Click.
“—The increase of contractor---” Nope.
Click.
“—Demon therapeutic practice cases are decreasing the amount of—” Oh hell no!
Click.
Turning off the television within the apartment, Izuku watched as (y/n) dramatically slid down the couch in boredom. Glancing to the three open windows paired with an additional two fans blowing cool air into the warm apartment, Izuku doesn’t make much of a reaction at how his demon is feeling.
I mean who can blame them? It's quite warm- regardless of what the weather forecast has been reporting- nobody could’ve thought that a heatwave would’ve come early into the year.
“Jeez, why do those annoying contractor demons have to exist…” Muttered (y/n) as they opted to float towards the window to look at the colourless sky (in comparison to Izuku’s developed vision).
Although the day had started in a very boring manner, once he had arrived home from his morning training with All Might (coupled with a thirty-minute long complaining session from his demon that he should “take better care of himself, instead of pushing himself!”), the green-haired boy decided to lounge on the couch after folding his and his mother’s clothes that were finished drying outside.
Even when the doorbell rang with excitement washing over Izuku. He knew that whatever had erupted in the wake of a new beginning, that the green-haired boy will most certainly be a part of it.
(However, let’s put this monologue to rest. The elephant in the room is here.)
For all that’s said and done, armed with a sharp box cutter- Izuku makes his move of revealing the loot- and don’t let me forget that it’s All Might merch.
“Jeez Izuku, you need to get this obsession under control.” Murmured (y/n), as they swished into his peripherals once more. Taking careful observation of how Izuku ignored his demon’s comment, he delicately takes each box out with precise care and stability to the point that it leaves the demon awestruck at his tentativeness.
“I mean, sure it's not bad to have something you like—” (y/n) paused in order to dig up a more suitable word choice, “—but, there are some things where you need to save up for.”
Even amidst the one-sided conversation, which was cut short by (y/n) staring at the bronze age All Might, Izuku had also paid close observation of how his demon interacted with him.
He still remembers that one training session where even though he was dead tired of pulling both a fridge and his mentor, the slight encouragement from you had pushed him far enough to get up and try again!
(That goes without saying, All Might had asked Izuku to stay a bit longer to discuss the taboo subject of demons.)
“Young Midoriya, are you aware of auras?”
Seeing as talking a demon into existence is outrageously disrespectful, Izuku was shocked at the revelation of hearing All Might (out of anybody else) talk so openly about it!
Squeaking a meek “yes” in hopes that All Might doesn’t continue this conversation (but he still does), the adult turned to face his successor to utter a phrase the child will never forget.
“Then why is your demon’s aura pulsating so dangerously?”
That definitely left Izuku flabbergasted.
And now looking back at it, why is his demon so protective of him?
(He’ll never know, I guess?)
------------------------
“Izuku, you know I can’t see normal colours.” Lamented the red demon as they lean on his shoulder to kill time and be comfortable.
Just as the green-haired boy inspected the bronze age All Might figure and ready to put it on one of his many shelves, he paused before asking (y/n) “Why do you like this figure?”
“That’s a vague question.”
Izuku deadpanned at his demon’s answer.
(Really (y/n)? Really?)
“Okay! Okay! I’ll answer your silly question!” If anything, you’re the one with the silly questions.
.
.
.
“I like the design, I guess!” Shrugging their shoulders, taking a pause to look at the rest of the figures, the demon settled on picking that one as their favourite.
(By 'that' one, it's the bronze age figure.)
“Plus… it doesn’t look as flashy as the others.”
“What’s wrong with looking flashy!”
“A lot of things.”
That argument did not end for a long time. I can tell you that!
--------------------------
“Wait-- what time is it?” Another yawn escaped Izuku’s mouth before he covered it with a hand of his.
The dusky night setting where only one lamp was emitting a soft after hour glow smudged onto a page of multiple scribbles and notes, the pencil of his noted the new interests of (y/n) in delicate detail with few errors in his vocabulary.
Taking an eye off the notebook, leaning back in his chair before swerving around to see the digital clock, vermillion numbers glowered at him to reveal it was ‘8:43’ pm.
“It’s around 8:40 pm, (Y/n). Why do you need to know?” The demon’s slumped form sprung up in alarm, emitting more hazy fog to flood out them. That was strange…Izuku has never seen (y/n) so anxious about the time.
“The show is gonna start soon!!” Cried (y/n), which lead to his demon gripping him on his free arm and tugging as hard as they can to exit his room.
Even if demons have a unique sense of individuality, I wonder why people perceive them as being bad?
Isn’t it naïve to consider a ‘figment’ of our minds to be labelled something as vague as ‘bad’?
Even if said figment can easily destroy you from the inside out like miasma or possess the demon’s host in hopes of protecting them from outside danger.
Is possessing somebody out of protecting them, cruel or righteous? Is it wrong or right?
(Izuku doesn’t have the ethical mindset to process his thoughts, so he lets (y/n) force him down on the couch and watch his demon’s newest fascination of American Horror Story.)
-------------------------
As always, Izuku seemed to leave the curtains cracked a little open to allow his demon to gaze upon the glittery fabric of a darkened atmosphere.
The crater embellished in the fabric was held stationary to grant permission for the creature to gaze upon it for one of the few nights in the month, as trees locked their gazes at the rock and the illuminations of manmade stars stilled in the moment of time.
And for a moment, (y/n) wondered upon these manmade stars if they could be human.
(Or something close to being human! Though…as cheerful as it sounds; the only way they could be a human is becoming a thief demon.)
But only for a moment they wondered about it.
(And may a divine deity forbid them from thinking about it.)
There’s no room in this house of memories to bring greedy thoughts of freedom into it. However, there is room to ensure that the demon’s companion is safe.
(At least he’s safe now…)
(The demon does worry a lot, but at this point, its quite natural for them to worry about everything when growing up with Izuku.)
Glancing back at the dozing green-haired teenager, the demon sighed.
They couldn’t help releasing a sigh—not because they were relieved— but of the new dangers that may come alongside a quirk and having people to trust for once.
Letting their weightless form ghost towards the edge of Izuku’s bed, with protective intent as clear as the moon in the sky, (y/n) had made note of his serenity etched into the expression of glued tight eyelids with transparent drool beginning its slug trail down his chin and onto the flashy hero pillow.
(If you want to go into detail, it’s an All Might pillow.)
Speaking of heroes, why does Izuku really want to become one? (Y/n) has never seen a moral point to a hero’s duty—other than acquiring fame and money--, so why bother spending three years of your life contributing to a corrupt cause where it eats up your lifespan like a toddler munching on diabetes ridden lollipops.
Sure, (y/n) doesn’t like hero society.
(It’s practically fucked up, what else can they say?)
“Izuku, why do you want to become a hero?” But they don’t hate Izuku’s dream…
(I think…)
“Is it for fame?” They all have unrealistic dreams.
(The demon was speaking out into the void. That’s no surprise, it’s always been like that.)
“Is it for glory?” But that’s what dreams are. They are unrealistic.
(Is the demon right or wrong?)
“Is it for something else?” The demon had an unrealistic dream, so why can’t Izuku have an unrealistic dream?
(Unless both of their dreams weren’t unrealistic.)
Taglist:
CREDITS:
@glitterfreezed @izukubabe @sweater-weather-seven @nyanyabisjjj @quietlegends @dragonsdreamoffire @candybabey @sixofsparrows
All content and art used within this story belongs to their respective owners. PLAGARISM WILL NOT BE TOLERATED!
Art credits: Dorki-C and @glitterfreezed
[MASTERLIST OF “My Guardian Demon”] [MAIN MASTERLIST]
#Izuku Midoriya#Izuku midoriya bnha#Izuku Midoriya mha#Izuku Midoriya X Demon! Reader#Izuku midoriya x y/n#Izuku midoriya x reader#Izuku Midoriya x you#MGD x mha au#MGD au#mha x reader#bnha x reader#Demon! Reader#Dorki's Oneshots
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