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jooniperbonsai · 7 months ago

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I'll Give You the Sun (jhs) | Teaser

Pairing: SunDeity!Hoseok x MoonDeity!Reader (afab)

Rating: 18+

Teaser Length: 1662

Part One Length: 10.6k

Release Date: Fri, April 18, 2024

Genre: Smut, fluff, angst, fantasy au, royalty, mythology

Summary: Fated to fulfill an ancient prophecy claiming he will ascend into a curse-breaking hero on the day of his kingdom's first total solar eclipse, Hoseok is jaded and cynical over his lack of choice in becoming the king and god of the Solar Kingdom. He's even less pleased that his coronation is to be shared with the future king of the Lunar Kingdom, whose clear obsession with power is already a sign of trouble ahead.

But when the moon fully overtakes the sun and bathes everything in darkness, the ascension of gods and kings doesn't seem to be all that the fates prophesied. With you now coming out of the shadows to claim your rightful title, the pressure is on for the two of you to break this curse together, before it completely destroys your two kingdoms.

Warnings for Part One: Swearing, physical aggression, low self-esteem, implied emotional and physical abuse, dirty talk, grinding/thigh riding, dom! hoseok already making himself known

a/n: I am so so so excited for this series. I had considered initially making it just a super long one-shot, but as this story builds, the characters have come alive for me in a way I didn't expect. I will of course be continuing Thanks for the Sub, but you can happily add this one to your roster.

I am obsessed with Sun Deity/God?Royalty Hobi as a concept. I remember when I read "fermata" by @yeoldontknow for the first time and I was ENAMORED with the world and way Hoseok existed in it. The prose was so poetically written, and I modeled a lot of my process after what I remember reading. Honestly, I would highly recommend this one if you haven't read it already.

This fic has been one in the making for years, but it really just took that extra push of the eclipse to bring it to life. I'm not sure how long it'll be in terms of parts, but I am loving the ride I'm on with it. Now that I'm back from Korea, it's safe to say that you can expect more writing from me this spring and summer.

thank you for your support. -h

He can hear her shuffling down the hall. His mother. No doubt draped in the silky, long golden cape that shines as she passes by every sunny window. He doesn’t need to look at her to know that she’s wearing it. That, or her crown, pointed at all sides in honor of the many ancestral deities who have served the stars before, whose power and strength created the very particles of the universe. He also doesn’t need to look to know she’s heading directly toward his chamber, seeking Hoseok out.

He knows she is, because he was supposed to be in the Great Hall an hour ago to go over his coronation and is instead sitting out on his balcony, looking up at the moon high in the sky despite it being one in the afternoon.

“Hoseok,” his mother echos from his doorway, breathless and exasperated.

“I know,” he calls back. He knows he’s due for a lecture, but because his mother is impatient, because the entire palace and kingdom and evidently the entire fucking universe is impatient for their prince to become a king, and with that title, a god, there’s no time for a lecture.

He takes one last look up at the sky, the pebbled moon inching ever closer, and scowls before retreating back indoors.

If Hoseok had things his way, he would seek out whichever god before him who uttered his prophecy to ascend to the throne and burn him with all the power of the Sun he is so called the god of. Apollo, Ra, Helios, Tsohanoai, Sol, Tai Yang Xing Jun, whoever it was who caused this, who murmured his message before the fates, he is probably laughing at Hoseok as his mother clucks at him and pinches away invisible specks of lint from his pristine suit.

“Your father wants to see you before we begin.”

“I thought the party was already under way,” he mutters, his mother cocking an eyebrow at him.

“It is, which I now take it you are staunchly avoiding instead of simply losing track of time like I was prepared to give you the benefit of the doubt for.”

“Eomma, you know I don’t want to do this. I have told you so for years. I don’t want to be king. I don’t want to be a god.”

“Yes, but the fates decided it so. They chose you over your sister, and this means whether there’s a party or not, it’s going to happen. You might as well enjoy the food and music and make the best of it.” With a sigh, she adjusts the heady gilded crown pinned to her head and strolls out of Hoseok’s chamber, leaving behind the faint note of her jasmine perfume.

Hoseok knows he can’t hide here forever. He knows that once the total eclipse occurs in a matter of hours, he will be thrust into a life of duty. And not soon after he ascends, he also knows that he will be expected to begin courting someone. That is another matter entirely, one he is not going to even entertain today.

He’s not opposed to marriage or courting, not in the slightest. His elder sister married a few years ago, a marriage that gives structure and stability. Her husband clearly loves her, and Hoseok enjoys when he sees his brother-in-law when they visit during the summer months, when the days stretch into nights and for a little while, the state of things feels less cursed and oppressive.

They often have long, decadent dinners in the back garden, surrounded by the low hum of the bees as they move from sunflower to sunflower (his mother’s favorite). The summer months are coming, which means soon Hoseok will feel a little bit more like himself. Why wouldn’t he want to spend time with someone, to enjoy strawberries straight from the garden and walk along the river with the one he courts?

All of these things are exactly what he wants.

Or he used to, anyway. He glances at the mirror above his vanity, his black hair already losing some of its hold despite only being styled a handful of hours ago. Normally, it doesn’t do that. Normally, once set into place, he appears as the precise and put-together person in the room.

But today, he realizes, is not normal.

In his lifetime, there has never been a total solar eclipse over his kingdom. Which is why in many ways, today is the beginning of the end, as today he will fulfill his destiny within the prophecy:

On the Eve of day, the day of night,

when the moon fully captures the sun’s light

over the House of the ones who worship the rays,

will an alliance occur that pleases the fates:

Two kingdoms will gain what they most need

after long years of suffering from past gods’ greed.

From the cliffs off the shore where the sky hangs low,

will come the fated one crowned with a moonlit halo.

And from the flowering valleys where the rolling hills run,

will come the destined one crowned with the beams of the sun.

The shadows shattering during the fifteenth hour

shall bestow these two souls with ultimate power.

The moon stepping forward with nothing to hide

is burdened not by the sin of pride

nor the sun is he plagued by the darkness above,

but balanced with allegiance, passion, and love.

United these two the fates will regard

with the highest of honor among the stars.

What was once divided now becomes one,

with the all sacred moon and almighty sun.

And together these two blessed by the heavens’ ring,

will end the curse of the promised false king.

He can recite the entire thing by heart. It is a prophecy that echoes in his oldest memories, ones when he could scarcely understand the phrases coded within, but recognized the cadence of over time as it swirled into words he one day understood. It was read on his tenth birthday as he watched the red wax of his “10” candle slide down the pillar and onto the buttercream frosting of his cake, the red upon white almost looking like blood. It was read at weddings, graduations, all a reminder of the great hope that is to come.

Even then he knew it to be less of its intended blessing and more of a curse dooming him to follow its guidelines, to be “balanced with allegiance, passion, and love”. Hoseok doesn’t deny that these are traits he has, but he isn’t entirely sure if these are traits he was destined to have, or if through the power of suggestion and pressure over the years, he has become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

He looks back in the mirror, scooping a curl off of his face, memorizing the rich brown of his eyes, the even slant of his nose. He knows his ascension isn’t technically supposed to change him, at least not in the ways that are noticeable. All of the royal advisors and lesser gods on the council have assured him, reassured him, and if it’s even possible, over-assured him as such.

Even his parents have dipped their toes into the conversation, despite always and forevermore being mortal.

It’s not like you’re going to sprout a second head and start devouring the souls of mortals. You are just going to feel different. More powerful. Rightly so. You will be.

And that’s what concerns him. Not the sprouting of another head or bloodthirst.

How can things still be the same–how can he still be the same–if he is about to be given power? Not just any power either. This is enough power to end the long-standing drought that wiped out the southeast corner of the Solar Kingdom. A drought so severe that the only thing left in that part of the kingdom is abandoned homes and stories from the Elder gods that prove it was once a vivid place full of diverse life, with lush flora that bore plump, juicy fruits, art, and culture.

The Elder gods have been around for, well, no one quite knows how long, including them. When asked, they often click their tongue, sipping whatever sparkly alcoholic concoction that fancies them that day before dismissing the curious soul who asks. After a while, time just rolls itself together. You mortals are so obsessed with it. Relax, take it all in. Hundreds, even thousands of years may have passed, but still we eat and drink and dance.

And from all that eating and drinking and dancing came the many stories about the parts of the kingdom that Hoseok had never heard of, and some he is still sure don’t really exist. How on this planet were there once waterfalls that fell up instead of down, or vines that could bear grapes the size of his head? Over time, he has learned to take what the Elder gods say at face value; they are bored and ancient and looking for something to entertain them. The only reason he knows the southeast corner once had any of these things is because of the ruins.

When he was young, he was taken there by the royal council and his parents to help him understand the weight of his place in all this, how crucial it was that he rise and grow to end the drought that forced thousands to become displaced and desperate. How better was he to understand the importance of the power he would one day be given than to see how selfishly wielding it only resulted in strife and suffering for all?

The drought is expanding, leeching more from his kingdom by the year. By his twenty ninth birthday, the Great Forest of Solaria, a region two hours south of the capital, known for its tall redwoods and cypresses, has had three sizable forest fires, forcing its people, including Hoseok’s best friend Namjoon, to flee north. Namjoon and his family have been living in the palace for almost a full year.

But because of this curse, this reign of the nefarious king Mang Shin, who tore down Hoseok’s people and the land around it for his own selfish gain, because of his cruelty that angered the fates, the Solar Kingdom has been managing a worsening drought. How much longer before the capital city can no longer sustain any of its people, when it is no longer a refuge?

His kingdom is not the only one impacted by the cruelty of Mang Shin. The Lunar Kingdom to the northwest is half underwater after high tides that led to flooding. While the capital city of the Solar Kingdom has not directly suffered from the curse of Mang Shin, the Lunar Kingdom’s capital city has not been so lucky.

A month ago, a large tidal wave capsized the northern end of the city, drowning thousands and destroying a major sea port that was essential to the booming trade industry of the north. From the rumors Hoseok heard, the crown prince was set to be in the district that morning on official business, but was running behind after spending a night out drinking and occupying the brothels in the southern corridor. He would have been washed away in the sea if he were on time.

Which means all this, all that Hoseok has been procrastinating on attending, has stopped seven times in the short hallway over, would have been for nothing. There would be no end to this curse, only the slow suffering of his actual fate.

No. The crown prince is in the Great Hall waiting for Hoseok to get his shit together and help restore balance to both kingdoms. A dual coronation. Two princes to become kings of their own kingdoms. The Lunar Kingdom exists as the Solar Kingdom exists. Both need each other now to ensure the longevity of the other. There’s no other destiny than this.

He pauses in front of the door to his father’s study, grazes his knuckles against the wood of the door. He sighs.

You have to do this. There’s no other way.

And just as he thinks to turn, to run, to flee his home and this kingdom and go everywhere and nowhere all at once, the door to his father’s study opens.

He expects to see the firm set frown of his father, to be given his final lecture and coronet before his father abdicates and Hoseok is the owner of the hefty, ornate crown he has come to despise.

He is not expecting to hear a soft feminine gasp that is very different to the sounds his father makes. Nor is he expecting to see you staring right back at him.

#bts fanfic #hoseok #hoseok smut #bts smut #hoseok x reader #sun god hobi #j hope x reader #hobi #bts hobi #jhope #jung hoseok

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for-yoongi0309 · 2 years ago

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BTS’ Suga on going solo, his love of hip-hop and the band’s future:

‘We’re real brothers, period’

“If I do well, that’s good,” says Suga. “If my family members do well, that’s even better.”

However you look at the current purgatory for K-pop superstars BTS — a long-expected pause for military service, a renewed focus on solo careers or an existential crisis for the genre — there are significant stakes not just for the group, but for the global music industry. While the seven members of the most successful act in South Korean history take turns, based on their respective birthdates, performing mandatory 18-month turns in the military — Jin and J-Hope are currently serving — those not yet conscripted have the chance to reestablish themselves as solo acts, after six chart-topping Billboard albums and six No. 1 Hot 100 singles. For the band’s label, Hybe, in the midst of a global acquisition spree, billions of dollars are potentially on the line. Bang Si-hyuk, Hybe chairman, recently stated that there is no set date for BTS’ comeback as a group, though he hopes they can return in 2025. Before beginning his military term later this year, group member Suga is touring U.S. arenas on the back of his solo debut album, “D-Day,” performed under the alias Agust D (he has two other mixtapes as Agust D). The dark, smoldering rap album debuted at No. 2 on the Billboard 200.

This week, Suga will perform three sold-out shows at Inglewood’s Kia Forum, on May 10, 11 and 14. However, he swears, he’s not competitive about it with his bandmates. “Are you competitive with your family members? Do you get jealous if your brother or your sister does well?” he asked with a laugh during a Zoom interview (Suga spoke through a Korean translator). “We’re real brothers, period. If I do well, that’s good. If my family members do well, that’s even better.”

Suga’s Agust D alias has long turned heads within the BTS solo-project sphere. Sometimes, those heads nearly get decapitated via giant ritual temple sword, as in his 2020 video for the rowdy “Daechwita.” Other times, they get stabbed right through with a pair of chopsticks, as Suga does himself in the deliciously grisly, “Oldboy”-worthy video for the new single “Haegeum.” It’s tough to square this genuinely transgressive solo artist with the snazzy-suited, fleet-footed heartthrob harmonizing on a Hot 100 hit like “Butter.” Devoted BTS Army fans know that Suga has an underground streak from his pre-BTS days, cribbing production notes from pioneering Korean rap acts like Epik High.

“Some bright and cheerful songs go into BTS,” he said. “But I’ve been doing music without any filter all the time, so I wouldn’t differentiate between Agust D or Suga, because all those are all me.” Still, “D-Day” is a standout, and not just for the sub-shaking production and gory videos. “Haegeum” is lacerating about modern life in South Korea: “Maybe we do it to ourselves/ Slaves to capitalism, slaves to money / Slaves to hatred and prejudice/ Slaves to YouTube, slaves to flexin’.” – Then he turns his blade on the internet culture that fascinates and destroys young people “Endless influx of information prohibits freedom of imagination / And seeks conformity of thought / All these painful noises blind you.”

“We’re living a life that’s better than ever before,” Suga said. “Some say we all live better lives than the king hundreds of years ago. But everything we worry about is coming too fast. Everyone’s lonely without having a sense of belonging, we can’t relate to the things that our parents have experienced, like being obsessed with accomplishments. Nobody feels a sense of belonging.”

Suga’s not immune from self-criticism, either. On “People Pt. 2,” with K-pop R&B singer IU, he sorts out his wariness around intimacy. “Selflessness can actually be selfish too, it’s true / It’s actually my greed when I say that it’s all for you.” – “This thing called love … it’s conditional,” he sings. “Wasn’t loved enough as a kid, that’s why I’m the cautious type.” Suga, born Min Yoon-gi, famously broke down in tears after seeing his formerly reluctant parents attend a BTS show in 2016. What did they make of that song?

“I don’t actually let my parents listen to my music before it’s released because there’s so many swear words,” Suga answered with a laugh. “My parents only listen to BTS songs. Things are good with us.”

On one hand, being in a globally famous act means any slip-up could be perilous. On the other, BTS-size stardom and a reputation for real artistry allow for uncommon candor, said Sang Cho, co-founder of the L.A.-based K-pop distribution and event firm KAI Media. “Suga and RM are to BTS what Lennon and McCartney were to the Beatles. Every member is talented, but these two are definitely the driving force behind their music,” Cho said. “I think Suga is a bit more Lennon — more explicit in his anti-establishment sensibilities. ‘Haegeum’ is a double entendre of a traditional Korean string instrument and wordplay on ‘liberation from restrictions.’”

“D-Day” also reflects on the music that helped Suga become a serious artist. His track “Snooze” was one of the late Japanese composer Ryuichi Sakamoto’s last collaborations, an artful yet stern track that brought Suga back to his teenage days learning to sample. “I’m not really good at piano, but I remember playing ‘Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence’ all day when I was young,” Suga said. “It’s impossible not to be influenced by him if you’re born in Korea. When I was young, I needed instrumentals without voice to sample, so I reversed and chopped his music. I am very grateful I can call him a mentor even though I only met him once.”

While Suga is playfully cynical about accolades like Grammy Awards — “Isn’t that a local thing?” he joked, echoing South Korean director Bong Joon-ho’s quip about the Oscars — he has nuanced thoughts about his place in hip-hop. “I did have that differentiation when I was younger. I hoped that [rap fans] would approve of my music,” he said. “But I have this very firm belief that if I go to a hip-hop concert, where there’ll be only hip-hop fans, well, BTS fans are hip-hop fans too. I’m a huge fan of hip-hop, but what’s important here is that it’s not empty words to do music for the people that have sent you love and support.” – As the members of BTS sort out these years in transition, they’re still in one another’s lives. BTS’ Jimin debuted atop the Hot 100 with “Like Crazy” in March. Suga can’t wait to be in the crowd cheering for his bandmates when their times come.

“If you live for 13 years in one house under the same roof 24/7, you become a family,” Suga said. “A lot of people think that the relationships between K-pop band members are kind of fake, but that’s not true. For me, it’s more like, ‘Oh, Jimin, hi! You made it to the Hot 100, I’m so proud of you!’”

#ultkpopnetwork #mgroupsedit #idolsincedits #maleidolsedit #yoongi #suga #min yoongi #bangtan #bts #i/n.article news #i. interviews #latimes.mag

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thelearnedwobbly · 11 months ago

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Speaking as a Goy, here, so feel free to ignore me, but it really does illuminate a lot of fucking shit when you start find-and-replacing "zionist" with "jew" on a lot of these f/ree p/alestine posts. Like "oh, hey, yeah, that IS the quiet part out loud! Go fuck yourself!"

I'm so fucking sick of watching people who never actually internalised leftism and only support it for internet clout, and who never interrogated their own fucking antisemitism go absolutely feral for literal fascist propaganda. You lunatics are screaming down some of the most brutally oppressed people in global history to support a far-right terror organisation whose founding charter calls for the extermination of all jews. How can you not see the evil shit you've fallen for? I'd give some obvious poignant example, like asking if the crimes of North Korea's government should be ascribed to all asian people, or if the crimes of Russia's mean the Slavs are all inherently evil, but knowing you red fascist shitbirds I already know all three canned responses I'd get; "Shut the fuck up, (((Zionist Pig)))", "Those nations have never committed crimes ever also the US is literally satan, which I will now assume is where you live", and "yes of course the sins of one insane government claiming to represent all people in a group are reflected on everyone in that group who doesn't swear a blood oath to help destroy it and then shoot themselves in the head after for the crime of existing"

I'm just screaming into the fucking void here, but dear god the shit you fashy fucks say is insane and I'd ask how you can call yourselves leftists but we all know you were only ever doing that because you didn't realise how much you had in common with the nazis.

#not tagging this because I don't care if it gets seen #probably will delete later #i just needed to vent

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renewedmotionforjudgment · 1 year ago

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Like you I am so tired of cdramas with children as leads lmao like we get 300-400 cdramas every year since 2019-2020 and 90% are absolute trash (no wonder with the way they do productions, no one cares about the writing or the story) and then even in that measly 10% and sometimes it's much less tou have to wade through heaps of CEOs and gods and generals that look like children, is it so difficult to cast men who look like men, in the majority of cases for the women they're quite young in age but almost all the men are these accomplished capable very frequently supernatural very old beings I need to see some dudes over 30 I'm begging. Cdramas are frequently butchered by censorship but damn if they don't butcher themselves first most of the time, the day they start caring about the quality of writing and storytelling they provide and realize that good shows equal profit is the day cdramas take over the world. I don't understand how the country that gave us something as fantastic and smart as ming lan keeps churning out utter garbage the rest of the time, it's not even a matter of preferences, most of these shows you are legitimately incoherent messes that make no sense, you can't even comprehend the motivations and actions of the main characters. It also sucks bc they have such great novels they don't have to modify much just adapt the entire thing and change the little stuff that doesn't translate well from book to screen and they can't even do that, I have never seen a single book fandom enjoy its adaptation, it seems they adapt these books just to put even less effort into the writing than humanely possible... It pisses me off bc they have my favorite tropes and settings, I'm such a sucker for historical period shows/ smart female leads/ rich fantasy worlds/epic angsty love stories with life or death stakes and the good stuff and when they do them well they're great but they so rarely do so when they have literal blueprints to show them the way.

I swear to god China’s desire/goal of creating an idol industry to rival South Korea after the Hallyu ban singlehanded destroyed cdramas. Well, that and censorship.

And it’s not even that everyone is young and looks like children. I’m old enough to remember a time when most of the main cast went to theater school.

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0613magazine · 1 year ago

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050923 LA Times

BTS’ SUGA on going solo, his love of hip-hop and the band’s future: ‘We’re real brothers, period’

While the seven members of the most successful act in South Korean history take turns, based on their respective birthdates, performing mandatory 18-month stints in the military — Jin and j-hope are currently serving — those not yet conscripted have the chance to reestablish themselves as solo acts, after six chart-topping Billboard albums and six No. 1 Hot 100 singles.

For the band’s label, Hybe, in the midst of a global acquisition spree, billions of dollars are potentially on the line. Bang Si-hyuk, Hybe chairman, recently stated that there is no set date for BTS’ comeback as a group, though he hopes they can return in 2025.

Before beginning his military term later this year, group member SUGA is touring U.S. arenas on the back of his solo debut album, “D-Day,” performed under the alias Agust D (he has two other mixtapes as Agust D). The dark, smoldering rap album debuted at No. 2 on the Billboard 200.

This week, SUGA will perform three sold-out shows at Inglewood’s Kia Forum, on May 10, 11 and 14. However, he swears, he’s not competitive about it with his bandmates.

“Are you competitive with your family members? Do you get jealous if your brother or your sister does well?” he asked with a laugh during a Zoom interview (SUGA spoke through a Korean translator). “We’re real brothers, period. If I do well, that’s good. If my family members do well, that’s even better.”

SUGA’s Agust D alias has long turned heads within the BTS solo-project sphere. Sometimes, those heads nearly get decapitated via giant ritual temple sword, as in his 2020 video for the rowdy “Daechwita.” Other times, they get stabbed right through with a pair of chopsticks, as Suga does himself in the deliciously grisly, “Oldboy”-worthy video for the new single “Haegeum.”

It’s tough to square this genuinely transgressive solo artist with the snazzy-suited, fleet-footed heartthrob harmonizing on a Hot 100 hit like “Butter.” Devoted BTS ARMY fans know that SUGA has an underground streak from his pre-BTS days, cribbing production notes from pioneering Korean rap acts like Epik High.

“Some bright and cheerful songs go into BTS,” he said. “But I’ve been doing music without any filter all the time, so I wouldn’t differentiate between Agust D or SUGA, because all those are all me.”

Still, “D-Day” is a standout, and not just for the sub-shaking production and gory videos. “Haegeum” is lacerating about modern life in South Korea: “Maybe we do it to ourselves/ Slaves to capitalism, slaves to money/ Slaves to hatred and prejudice/ Slaves to YouTube, slaves to flexin’.”

Then he turns his blade on the internet culture that fascinates and destroys young people (including other K-pop artists, like the late Moonbin): “Endless influx of information prohibits freedom of imagination/ And seeks conformity of thought/ All these painful noises blind you.”

“We’re living a life that’s better than ever before,” SUGA said. “Some say we all live better lives than the king hundreds of years ago. But everything we worry about is coming too fast. Everyone’s lonely without having a sense of belonging, we can’t relate to the things that our parents have experienced, like being obsessed with accomplishments. Nobody feels a sense of belonging.”

SUGA’s not immune from self-criticism, either. On “People Pt. 2,” with K-pop R&B singer IU, he sorts out his wariness around intimacy. “Selflessness can actually be selfish too, it’s true/ It’s actually my greed when I say that it’s all for you.”

“This thing called love … it’s conditional,” he sings. “Wasn’t loved enough as a kid, that’s why I’m the cautious type.”

SUGA, born Min Yoon-gi, famously broke down in tears after seeing his formerly reluctant parents attend a BTS show in 2016. What did they make of that song?

“I don’t actually let my parents listen to my music before it’s released because there’s so many swear words,” SUGA answered with a laugh. “My parents listen to BTS songs. Things are good with us.”

“SUGA and RM are to BTS what Lennon and McCartney were to the Beatles. [RM is expected to be the next BTS member to enlist.] Every member is talented, but these two are definitely the driving force behind their music,” Cho said. “I think SUGA is a bit more Lennon — more explicit in his antiestablishment sensibilities. ‘Haegeum’ is a double entendre of a traditional Korean string instrument and wordplay on ‘liberation from restrictions.’”

“D-Day” also reflects on the music that helped SUGA become a serious artist. His track “Snooze” was one of the late Japanese composer Ryuichi Sakamoto’s last collaborations, an artful yet stern track that brought SUGA back to his teenage days learning to sample.

“I’m not really good at piano, but I remember playing ‘Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence’ all day when I was young,” SUGA said. “It’s impossible not to be influenced by him if you’re born in Korea. When I was young, I needed instrumentals without voice to sample, so I reversed and chopped his music. I am very grateful I can call him a mentor even though I only met him once.”

While SUGA is playfully cynical about accolades like Grammy Awards — “Isn’t that a local thing?” he joked, echoing South Korean director Bong Joon Ho’s quip about the Oscars — he has nuanced thoughts about his place in hip-hop.

“I did have that differentiation when I was younger. I hoped that [rap fans] would approve of my music,” he said. “But I have this very firm belief that if I go to a hip-hop concert, where there’ll be only hip-hop fans, well, BTS fans are hip-hop fans too. I’m a huge fan of hip-hop, but what’s important here is that it’s not empty words to do music for the people that have sent you love and support.”

As the members of BTS sort out these years in transition, they’re still in one another’s lives. BTS’ Jimin debuted atop the Hot 100 with “Like Crazy” in March. Suga can’t wait to be in the crowd cheering for his bandmates when their times come.

“If you live for 13 years in one house under the same roof 24/7, you become a family,” SUGA said. “A lot of people think that the relationships between K-pop band members are kind of fake, but that’s not true. For me, it’s more like, ‘Oh, Jimin, hi! You made it to the Hot 100, I’m so proud of you!’”

Source: LA Times

#2023 #bts #suga #agust d #la times

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jungk0oksthighs · 3 years ago

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Over The Odds | Fallout

Pairing - jungkook x reader

Genre - angst, smut, fluff, S2L, ceo!jungkook, sugardaddy!jungkook

Word count - 3k

Drabble 8 - You attempt to deal with the fallout of the video leak

warnings: swearing, alcohol consumption, mentions of sex & feeling violated

FULL SERIES COLLECTION

“You’ve seen the video right? It’s weird how it ends with her mentioning how she feels like she should be the one paying him isn’t it? What do you think that means?”

“Isn’t it obvious? Their entire relationship is fake! She’s a sugar baby, he’s a sugar daddy. I give it a week before Jungkook gets rid of her. I wouldn’t be surprised if she leaked the tape herself for exposure! No pun intended.”

The audience laugh as two male hosts of a late evening talk show divulge into your private life, making a spectacle of it as though you’re not a real person with real feelings that they’re really hurting.

“They make a good couple though don’t they? Whether it’s real or not, they look good together.”

“They certainly know how to please one another, that’s for sure. Y/N took those spankings like a champ!”

“So you’ve watched the tape?”

“Who hasn’t?! It’s gone viral! It has over six million views already.”

Jimin angrily shuts the television off, his face contorted with rage. Today makes it a week that you’ve been hiding out at his place to avoid the unwanted buzz of celebrity gossip that surrounds your life. Within the space of three days when the video was initially leaked – you’d been fired from your job, kicked out of your apartment building due to the paparazzi crowds, and you’d had your first and last argument with Jungkook, the two of you haven’t spoken since.

“I can’t believe he’d do something like this to me…” You’re crying again, nursing a near empty glass of red wine on Jimin’s carpeted bedroom floor.

“Are you sure it was him? I don’t think—”

“He’s the only one that had the video Jimin, who else could it have been?”

Your best friend wants to give Jungkook the benefit of the doubt but even he has to admit the evidence is slowly stacking up against him. He filmed the two of you having sex, on his camera, that has not left his possession. It has to be him. The CEO denies it was him who leaked the video, in fact, you’d spent an hour screaming at each other about it as he tried to convince you that he’d never do something like this. You feel violently ill just thinking about it, about all of it – including how over six million people now have seen you and your naked body, in some of the most intimate moments of your life. Violated, there’s no other word, you feel violated.

“I just…” Jimin sighs, he’s also sitting on his bedroom floor drinking wine, the two of you not even ten percent of the way through a Disney princess jigsaw he’d ironically found in the back of his closet, “It seems so unlike him?”

At this you scoff, messily wiping away your tears, “Does it? Let’s not forget how Jungkook and I first met.”

As much as he doesn’t want to give into your cynical thoughts Jimin knows you have a point. Jungkook wanted to pay you for sex, and there’s no point sugar coating it, that’s what you agreed to do. It’s soul destroying how hard he played you, he took you to Bora Bora, took you to meet his parents in Korea just last week, and even though you’ve never said it out loud, you know that a part of you loves him, you really thought you had something special, you feel like a fool.

“Taehyung keeps asking about you, wants to know if you’re okay...” Jimin’s eyes are soft and apologetic as you start to sob again, stuck in your own head with your self-loathing thoughts.

“Tell him,” You exhale shakily, “That you haven’t seen me, the last thing I need is either of them showing up right now. Or just ignore him completely.” You feel guilty saying that, Taehyung is a good man and doesn’t deserve your venom, but you know full well where he goes, Jungkook has a tendency to follow.

“Have you replied to any of his messages yet? Jungkook’s I mean.”

“No, and I don’t plan to. I never want to see him again.”

Jimin sighs, he understands your anger but there’s something in his gut screaming at him that Jungkook didn’t do this, “Have you spoken to your family about it?”

You scoff humourlessly, “My mum said somebody stopped her at the fruit market and asked for my number, can you believe that? Said I look like a good time.” You’re beyond mortified, you feel like a common whore when in reality the situation is completely out of your control, there’s nothing you can do to make it stop.

Thankfully your parents haven’t watched the video, it’s understandable why they wouldn’t want to see their youngest daughter getting fucked ten ways to Sunday by some tattooed pervert – so they didn’t know the details, they didn’t know about the comments the two of you made about the contract afterwards. They still have no idea that you were once Jungkook’s sugar baby, getting paid so that he could get laid. You feel sick again, you’re clutching your stomach as though that will ease the discomfort in any way but shockingly enough – it doesn’t.

“I’m so sorry this is happening to you Y/N…” Jimin shakes his head, you’re his best friend, watching you torture yourself over this is slowly killing him. “Has Ruth reached out to you?”

“No.” You break down again, not even your older sister cares enough to check in and make sure you’re okay. She’s probably too busy living her perfect life to read up on celebrity gossip, and you know your mum wouldn’t mention it to her without your permission.

“My sister doesn’t care about the fact I’ve lost my job, my apartment, I have no money… No boyfriend—”

“You have me, okay?” Jimin’s profile turns serious as he pours you another glass of wine, “If it’s proven that he did this, I’ll fucking kill him myself.”

For the first time all day you smile, the idea of Jimin and Jungkook in a physical fight is laughable to you, Jimin would surely be killed himself, being much shorter and dare you say it weaker than your boyfriend, well, ex-boyfriend. Your phone buzzes in the grey sweatpants you’re wearing courtesy of you and your best friend being similar sizes, winning you to seize up.

“Is that him?”

“Probably.” You sniffle, opening the notification thread:

Jungkook: Please talk to me

Jungkook: I miss you so much baby

Jungkook: Where are you? Are you okay?

Jungkook: Please believe me when I say I didn’t do this

Jungkook: Y/N I promise this wasn’t me

Jungkook: Taehyung’s looking into it as we speak, my video camera isn’t where I left it, somebody must have stolen it

Jungkook: I’m going to fix this baby

Jungkook: I miss you so fucking much Y/N, please talk to me

“I feel sick.” You slur, even seeing his name finds a way to make stomach bile drag itself up to your throat, forming a large lump of regret. You should’ve never got involved with someone like him. “But hey, at least he paid off my debts before he fucked me over, right?”

“Y/N…” For once Jimin doesn’t know what to say, he reads the messages on your screen and gently shakes his head, “I really don’t think he did this.”

“In a way it doesn’t matter who leaked it, it’s done now isn’t it.” You say bitterly as you chug your glass of wine, attempting to ease the pain of reality. Judging from his facial expressions and body language you can tell Jimin is worried about you, your entire life had come crumbling down into almost nothing in the space of a week. If it wasn’t for him letting you stay here fuck knows what you would’ve done. “The whole world has seen me naked and watched him fuck me in a beach hut.”

“Not the whole world, I haven’t watched it.”

“Thanks.” You chuckle to yourself, totally buzzed from the wine as you continue to drown your sorrows. The vibration from your phone earns you to silently jump, you briefly glance down at the notifications.

Missed calls: Jungkook (37)

Missed call: Namjoon (1)

Jungkook tries your number for what feels like the millionth time, wanting nothing more than to hear your voice. Last week the video was leaked to the public, resulting in what appears to be the end of your relationship with him. At first he was offended, angry that you’d even considered him being the antagonist who leaked the tape, of course it wasn’t him – he’s on that video just as much as you are, though he understands that these types of things tend to have far worse repercussions for women and sympathises with you completely. This entire situation is so fucked up, all he can think about is holding you in his arms.

The line goes to voicemail after fourteen rings, as it has each and every time he’s tried to call you this week. He’s in his office working late, attempting to deal with some of the fallout this scandal has caused his company – while it’s not entirely detrimental, the bad publicity has lead to a few of his investors feeling awkward about backing his business. And so he sends email after email, focussing all his attention on the relationships he can fix as he waits for you to calm down and hopefully respond to him.

“And you’re sure there was only one copy of the video? You didn’t save it to any other device like your phone?” Taehyung enters the room without permission, looking more dishevelled than usual. He’s been working so hard as Jungkook’s attorney to get to the bottom of this and try and remove the video from the internet, he’s barely slept at all since it was leaked.

“For the last time,” Jungkook glares at his best friend over his desktop, “There was one copy, on one video camera. I’m not stupid enough to save it to my phone, we all know iCloud is a liability. Look at the countless celebrities that have had leaks that way.”

“The police didn’t find any signs of a break in but your camera is gone, they’re reviewing the security footage from the building since you got back from Bora Bora, so far they have nothing.”

“Perfect, just fucking perfect.” He bites back, “I’ll buy the lead investigator whatever he wants! He can have all of my fucking money if that speeds up the process of me getting Y/N to forgive me. What a fucking joke. I’ll watch the footage myself, get them to send it to me.” Jungkook is ranting, chest heaving up and down with each ragged breath. “I’m serious Taehyung I’ll pay whoever I need to pay to get this done, money isn’t an issue.”

“There’s no other videos with... other girls, right? Nothing else that can come out?” Taehyung asks cautiously.

“No, I’ve only ever filmed Y/N. The only other things on that camera are travel videos. Do you know of any private investigators? And I mean the best of the best, I need to prove to her that I didn’t do this.” Jungkook stops typing, his chin quivers at the thought of you sitting somewhere right now, presumably alone, hating him. Or worse, you’ve sought comfort from someone else, he closes his eyes as he tries to rid himself of the mental image of you crying on somebody else’s shoulder. “I don’t trust my assistant with this, so can you get it done? Can you find a PI?”

“We can hire a PI but they’re going to go down the same route as the police to begin with, it’s something we can look into doing though. I told you already I’m your guy, don’t talk to anybody else about this until we know the source of the leak.” Taehyung looks stressed as he sits opposite his friend, this week has been a non-stop hell for him, “Have you heard from her?”

“No. I haven’t.” Kook bites the inside of his cheek to stop himself from oversharing. He’s devastated, he feels disgusted by this violation of his privacy, but what’s worse is that you think he’s the one behind this, he would never do something like this to you. Whoever did this was going to pay.

“I went to the café she works at this morning to try and talk her round but, turns out they fired her a few days ago.” Taehyung feels so bad for you, he knows you’re a good person and believes that you don’t deserve this, not in a million years.

“Fucking hell.” Jungkook finally loses it, burying his face in his hands. “This is all my fucking fault, she’s plastered all over the internet, her body is on every website. You know they’re even playing audio clips from our conversation afterwards on the fucking news?! And now she’s lost her job, for what? All because I wanted to make a fucking sex tape.” He feels so guilty, he hasn’t been eating or sleeping properly since you stopped responding to him, if he’s suffering this badly he can only imagine what you’re going through right now.

Taehyung delivers a long, drawn-out sigh, running slender fingers through his rich chocolate brown hair, “Are you telling me she didn’t consent to being filmed?”

“No that’s not what I meant… She was okay with it, her actual words were ‘I trust you’ right before I turned the camera on.” Jungkook’s jaw is set tight enough to snap, his eyes welling with genuine tears. The only reason he even wanted to film that night with you is because that was the night he’d been planning to confess his feelings for you, he wanted to remember it forever. “Isn’t that some kind of sick fucking joke?”

“Jesus, that really does add salt to the wound.”

“When I find out whoever did this...” Jungkook cracks his neck, adrenaline coursing through his veins. “I’m going to fucking destroy them for what they’ve done to her.”

“As your attorney I didn’t hear you say that.”

“And as my best friend?”

“You know I’ll help you hide the body man, no questions asked.” Taehyung jokes, trying to lighten the mood. Though there’s a darkness in Jungkook’s hooded eyes that suggests he isn’t joking at all.

“Did Jimin get back to you? Does he know if she’s okay?” Kook can’t bring himself to look at Taehyung, he’s seconds away from breaking down – he’s the biggest boss of all bosses in the building and yet he’s never felt so powerless. That video was meant for his eyes only, now rumour has it it’s been seen by almost seven million people.

“Uh, I’m not sure, he didn’t respond… But I think that means they’re together. She’s probably told him to ignore my calls. If I’m right at least it means she isn’t alone right now. If you’re worried we can always hire a PI to find out where s—”

“No.” Jungkook immediately shuts him down, “Her privacy’s been invaded more than enough, if she doesn’t want to talk to me ever again I’ll just have to find a way to grow up and deal with it. This is all my fault.”

“If you want me to tell you that you acted irrationally and shouldn’t have filmed something like that then you’ve come to the wrong guy. It was a spur of the moment decision you made with the girl you love, yeah it’s shit how things have worked out but... Don’t blame yourself for this, she might come around eventually.”

“Yeah but what if she doesn’t?” Jungkook’s crying now, his lips pink and swollen from bottling his true emotions up for so long, “Taehyung, I swear I didn’t do this.”

“I know Guk, we’ll fix this I promise.”

Jungkook tries to distract himself from his tears and pulls his phone from his pocket, praying to every higher power that you’ve finally responded to him, but of course he’s disappointed to see that you haven’t. He pulls down the notification bar:

Missed call: Eomma (3)

Missed call: Jennie (2)

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young-dumb-and-vaccinated · 3 years ago

Text

Cult Girl: Doctorate (Hannibal x Pregnant!Female!Reader) pt. 14

Hannibal reads too much into Max's attempt to reconcile and cult girl revisits her past.

@wisesandwichshark @pearlstiare

Trigger warnings: discussions of death, abandonment, military casualties, emotional abuse

You soon returned to the opera knowing you had nothing to hide. Hannibal selected for you an off-white maternity gown so form-fitting it was practically painted on. He wanted everyone to see that you, his queen, empress and goddess, were carrying his child.

It only took that evening for the whole dynamic to change. Suddenly, you were an expectant new mother. Imogen had been a massive hit, you were planning to go again.

You were affixing your heavy cubic zirconia earrings when you heard a knock at the door. You hesitated, but hurried down the stairs when you saw who it was.

"Max?" You said, upon opening the door. He stood there awkwardly, holding a bouquet of flowers. "Hi?"

"Hey, [F/N]." Max greeted, eyes darting nervously around the porch. "I just came around to apologize in person. I'm sorry I was such a chauvinist prick."

You leaned against the door. "Oh?"

"You were right." He continued. "I don't know what it's like to carry a baby, and, unless something goes very wrong, I never will."

"Let's hope it doesn't come to that." You smiled.

"Anyway, these are for you." He said, handing the bouquet over. "They're chrysanthemums."

"Thank you, Max." You said, accepting the flowers.

"Archie and I-" He scratched the back of his head. "We thought that, maybe, if you'd still have us, that we'd name the baby Chrysanthemum. With your permission, of course."

"Like the picture book?" Your face lit up. "With the little mouse girl?"

Max nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, exactly."

You hugged the bouquet into your chest and considered it again. You looked back at Hannibal, who hadn't looked up from his expectant fathers' website for a second all day. He surrounded himself with books about child psychology, attachment theory, developmental behavior patterns and somehow found himself on a tangent about institutionalized misogyny in medicine.

"I'm sorry, Max." You said, sincerely. "I really do appreciate you coming down here and apologizing, but-"

Max put his hands up and gave you a disarming smile. "I understand. Plans change."

"I just really want to stress that it's not you." You assured him. "I've kind of... really grown to like the idea of being a parent. And I think that was Hannibal's plan all along, too."

"I believe a congratulations is in order, then." His voice turned up in delight. "I'm very happy for you. Both of you."

You clutched the bouquet to your chest. "Thank you."

"Well, I'd better get going." He stepped backwards down the stairs. "I've got three pints of Ben and Jerry's in the backseat and Archie'll have my head if I come home and they've melted."

"Max, wait." You stopped him before he could get down the driveway.

"Hm?"

You leaned against the threshold and smiled warmly. "Don't be a stranger, okay?"

Max returned the smile. "Of course not."

You waved goodbye and shut the door. You hurried to the kitchen to put the flowers in water before you had to go.

"Who was that, love?" Hannibal asked, half-heartedly. He was still very fixated on his research.

"Max Thomas-Park." You answered, unwrapping the flowers from the decorative plastic.

Hannibal looked up from his computer, but left the room silent for you to fill.

"He wanted to make amends." You explained. You walked across the room to the china cabinet and selected a vase big enough to hold the ornate bouquet. "Brought flowers and everything."

"Chrysanthemums?" He asked, sniffing the air.

"I see your sense of smell is coming back." You commented.

"Interesting selection." He narrowed his eyes on the bouquet.

"Well, he said that was what he wanted to name the kid." You offered. "It was a cute pitch, not gonna lie."

Hannibal shut his laptop and examined the bouquet up close. "If he wanted to express regret, he would have done better to bring you blue or purple hyacinths."

"Well, like I said." You made a point to project a little more. "He said he wanted to name his daughter chrysanthemum."

"Mums are given to show sympathy for those in mourning." Hannibal continued, clearly having his own conversation.

"Hannibal-"

"I think your cousin got her hooks in him and he's planning to--" He cut himself off, lest he speak the unthinkable into reality. "That's why he brought mourning flowers."

"Max Thomas-Park is conspiring with Anna to kill our unborn baby?" You said, flatly, to emphasize how insane he sounded.

Hannibal held a bloom between his fingers and looked closely at it. "It's the kind of hint I would leave. For courtesy's sake."

"I think looking at parenting blogs all day has made you a little paranoid." You observed, knowing full well that an overprotective husband and soon-to-be father of your child was not a bad problem to have. Nevertheless, you shut the laptop and touched his cheek. "Come on. We're going to be late for the opera."

You heaved yourself into the passenger's seat of the car, feeling the seat give beneath your heavy frame. Every time you got into the car, you remembered that you needed to shop for a car seat. The thought just as soon left your mind every time.

“We need to look for a car seat.” You said as Hannibal shut the door, hoping that he’d remember.

“I mean,” Hannibal blurted out, still lost in his own conversation. “Max is a cultured and well-educated man. He has to know the implications of his flowers.”

You huffed, dreading to think that paranoid delusion was symptomatic of his parenting style. “Right. The twenty-seven year old data analyst who graduated with a finance MBA from UChicago is also proficient in the outdated and frivolous language of flowers.”

“In Italy, mums are only given as comfort for loss.” Hannibal said with undeserved conviction. “Exclusively, [F/N].”

You rolled your eyes and typed something up on your phone. You raised your eyebrows, feeling a bit proud of yourself for what you found.

“In Korea, y’know, the country that Max’s family is from,” You corrected. “The chrysanthemum is a symbol of friendship.”

Hannibal tensed up for a moment, tightening his grip on the steering wheel. It was as if he were trying to break himself out of a trance. “...I’m sorry, darling.”

“I know you’re scared.” You stared at his profile, trying to make out an expression. “I’m also... pretty scared. But you can’t take it out on a guy who has nothing to do with it.”

“I am scared.” He affirmed, but the way in which he did was a telltale sign that he wasn’t giving you the full story.

“Of?” You raised your eyebrow. “Finish the sentence, Hannibal.”

"I need to keep our baby safe." He answered. "And I cannot in good conscience let her come into the world knowing that someone wants to hurt her. To hurt you."

You sighed. "Hannibal, are you seriously still worried about Anna?"

"Don't underestimate the role privilege and entitlement plays in the decision to commit acts of violence." He enunciated carefully. "You of all people should know that."

"Anna has cultivated such a perfect victim image to project outwardly that even a hint of proactive violence would shatter it." You explained. "She's the poor girl who has things done to her. Her evil cousin ruined her marriage. Her evil cousin destroyed her career. And she's the innocent victim in all of it."

"Logically, I know that you can speak on her behavior with more authority than I." Hannibal admitted.

"No shit." You scoffed. "I had to live with her."

"Can we at least entertain the idea that she has something planned?" He pleaded.

"I'm surprised at you." You said. "You never really struck me as the overly-cautious type."

Hannibal shook his head. "With my own life, I'm willing to gamble. But not when it's you. And not when it's Imogen."

You tensed up. His admitted willingness to put himself in danger unlocked a core memory you had buried deep down. The only thing you knew about your own father was that he was willing to put himself in danger. To go overseas and die for fuck-all instead of live for the child he selfishly created then abandoned. He chose to give his life for oil. You didn't choose to grow up without a father and your mother didn't choose to raise a child without a partner. He made that choice for you.

"Now what are you not telling me?" Hannibal broke you out of your trance. "I know that look, [F/N]."

"Nothing." You shook your head. "You should really not plan on dying anytime soon."

"I promise you, I am not going anywhere." His voice softened. "Least of all, to Iraq."

"Okay, you're a pretty good therapist but you never told me you could read minds." You threw your hands up in defeat. "Are you a psychiatrist or are you Loki?"

"As fun as being the god of mischief would be," Hannibal smiled to himself. "I just happen to have a steel-trap memory and an admittedly quite obsessive fixation on the mental health of the mother of my child."

"I swear to god I never told you about him." You denied. "Not even in passing."

"You didn't have to." He assured you. "Beatrice did."

You were surprised for a fraction of a second until the information sat in your head long enough to realize it wasn’t surprising in the slightest. Beatrice took every opportunity she got to brag about her son's sacrifices. She never once mentioned the sacrifices he forced upon you. Only that her son was a hero.

"Did you get the 'don't believe anything [F/N] has to say about my son' speech?" Your voice flattened in complete non-surprise.

"It was a prepared speech?" Hannibal chuckled. "Pity. I thought I was special."

"She gave it to my first boyfriend." You rolled your eyes. "We were, like, fifteen."

"The root of your psychological issues becomes clearer every time we talk about Beatrice." He commented under his breath.

"I know." You conceded.

He pulled into the parking lot, turned the car off and placed his hand over yours.

"Your father was a coward." He said, bluntly. It was nice to hear what had been echoing in the back of your head out loud for once. "I know no country to serve. No god to glorify. I promise, you have the whole of me. My mind, body and soul belongs to you and our child."

You squeezed his hand. "I couldn't ask for anything else."

#hannibal lecter #hannibal x you #hannibal x reader #hannibal nbc #cult girl #more cult girl #cult girl doctorate #cult girl 2 #tw death #tw family #pregnant reader #hannibal x pregnant reader

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justasparkwritings · 2 years ago

Text

The Littlest Dumpling {10}

Previous: The Littlest Dumpling {9}

Pairing: Min Yoongi x OFC

Genre: Non Idol AU / Author AU

Rating: PG13

Warnings: Swearing! Talking About Sex! Kissing! Making Out!

Word Count: 3.8K

Summary: Oo baby gotta love a short ending.

Master List

Tag List: @4ksj, @jagiya, @ot7nem, @knjkitten, @teamtardis-notdead, @canarystwin

Tag List

“I’m sorry,” Lil King Yoongi said, holding Hee-Young’s hand.

“For what?”

“Friends don’t treat each other the way I treated you. I’m sorry.”

“Are you the King right now, or Yoongi?” She asked.

“Yoongi.”

“Well, Yoongi. I accept your apology.”

“Do you forgive me?” Yoongi asked.

“Yes, I do. Do you forgive me?”

“Yes I forgive you.” He answered. “You are the greatest witch in my kingdom.”

“That is true, but I fall second to your power.”

“I am royal, my powers are stronger, but take longer to harness.”

She turned to him, staring into his eyes. “Will you teach me?”

“Teach you?”

“To fight like you.” Hee-Young said.

“You don’t want to fight like me,” Lil King Yoongi warned, dropping her hand and stepping away.

“Why not?” She wondered. What could be more important than learning to fight like he did? He was the greatest wizard and sorcerer in the Kingdom, in all the land. He was the king for a reason.

Yoongi turned to leave but paused at the door out of Hee-Young’s little shack. “The power will destroy you.”

Lil King Yoongi Vol. 4

February

“Have you heard from him?” Seokjin asks, sitting across from you at The Ruby Poppy. Gone is sitting in your booth, snuggled into Yoongi. For now, and you guess maybe the foreseeable future. You haven’t sat in that booth, cozied up to him … in months. Tonight, it’s staring at you, empty, wanting and wondering when its rightful owners, its lovers, will be returning. Maybe it isn’t wondering anymore, enough time has passed. Maybe now it just knows that you won’t be coming back to it for a while longer. Your booth, your old booth, could be a new couples place to sit and get cozy over winter cocktails and hushed voices. It could be a place for someone else to fall in love.

“Since yesterday?” You ask Jin. “Yes.”

“How is he?” He asks.

“He’s, better.”

“But not whole.”

“I don’t know what whole looks like for Yoongi, and I’m not sure he does either.”

“Was it a mistake?” Jin asks.

“No,” You shake your head. “Going back to Korea was the right choice, spending some time with his extended family, immersing himself in the language again.... it’s what he needed and wanted.”

“The pages he’s sending me are really good, better than I was expecting. Book two might be stronger than book one.”

“Please don’t tell him that,” You request.

Jin stares at you with an obvious expression. “I wouldn’t dare. When is he coming home?”

“Valentine’s Day. At least that’s what he’s planning. If he changes his mind, I don’t really know what I’ll do.”

“You know you can talk to me, about not work things,” Jin says.

“Isn’t that why we’re here? To discuss how my relationship feels like it’s in the toilet because my boyfriend had a slight breakdown over my ex showing up and took himself to Korea for a writing retreat that’s going to have last nearly two months?” You lament.

“I – yes?”

“That I feel like it’s my fault and that I can’t edit Taehyung’s book, which is so good and it’s only the first three chapters. That I’m the one that broke us, because I didn’t see he was barely holding on?”

“It isn’t your fault.”

“No, but this is the second time he’s tried to come back, and the first wasn’t successful so… maybe it is.” You comment, knowing full well it isn’t that Yoongi doesn’t want to be with you, it isn’t about you at all.

“You didn’t cause this,” Jin reminds you. “His brain chemistry did. Yoongi was already falling apart before he saw Taehyung in your office and knew he wanted you to edit his book.”

“Perhaps…”

“Not perhaps, it’s the truth. You know it is.”

“He hasn’t come back though, what if he doesn’t know how to break up with me?”

“You really think Yoongi wouldn’t know how to break up with you?”

“I’d hope he wouldn’t.”

“He doesn’t want to break up, he cares about you.”

You shrug, dismissing the conversation. “I still I don’t know what to do about Tae.”

“You should probably stop calling him Tae, first of all,” Jin comments.

“Fuck off.”

“Tell Taehyung that I’ll edit his book,” Jin says, stilling with his glass in his hands, carefully watching your reaction.

“What?” You ask.

“I’ll edit Taehyung’s book.”

“Why?”

“I’ve been thinking a lot about it, and it’s a good career move for me. And, if you’re honest with yourself, do you really want Taehyung’s ego to come between you and Yoongi?” Jin says.

“No, I don’t. But you don’t know him.” You counter.

“No, but I’ve read Two Affairs. I’m sure he and I will get along fine enough, at least better than Yoongi and me.”

“You can’t let him turn it into women becoming gay because men wronged them, you just can’t,” You warn.

“I wouldn’t dare. Is that what it’s about?” He leans forward, curiosity ignited.

“Let me send you the pages, you can do an edit and I’ll present it to him before introducing you both.”

“Has he signed with us yet?” Seokjin asks.

“Yes, he signed the day he sent me his pages.”

“Let me take this off your plate, Y/N,” Jin says.

“Thank you.”

“As for Yoongi,” Jin pauses, thinking back to what his mother had said on the phone the other day. “He’s coming home.”

“Supposedly.”

“You can’t blame him for that.”

“I don’t, I just wish… there’s a lot of things that I wish we’d done differently in the last six weeks. I don’t know if we can fix it.”

“Do you want to?” He asks.

You’ve been asking yourself the exact same question, to the same answer every single time. “I do.”

“Then you can. Or at least, you can try.”

Yoongi arrives at your doorstep on Valentine’s Day. He’d lied and had actually arrived on February 12th, then spent the 13th and today rewiring his body to be on standard time. It hasn’t really worked, but he’s less jetlagged today than when he first set foot in the states and that is a relief. He’s got a basket with him, full of foods you love, drinks, and a few trinkets he picked up in Seoul every time he thought of you. Which was a lot. Probably too much.

He can’t lie though, he’s shitting bricks. So nervous and unsure about what is left of your relationship, where you stand and if he can fight to win you back. That’s what he wants, you. If you want him…. Shit if you want him, he’ll be the happiest man alive, but if you’re done, he will respect it, and be totally crushed.

Yoongi knocks at your door and waits patiently as he hears your feet shuffle towards him. You open it cautiously, staring at him. It’s been six weeks since you laid eyes on your boyfriend, if that word even applies. He looks… he looks good. Hair growing out into waves of onyx, his cheeks a little fuller from his family’s cooking. He looks healthier than when he left, under the cover of night to Daegu. He’d bundled in his winter best, and drug his very large and somehow very empty suitcase past his front door and into the cab, not really saying goodbye to you or Hoseok or Namjoon. He’d just… gone. Taking a cab instead of bothering anyone, and somehow slept almost the entire flight.

“Hi,” Yoongi says.

“Hi,” You answer.

“I uh, can I hug you?” he asks.

You step aside and let him in, and once he’s taken his shoes off and hung up his coat, he turns to you. The tears you hadn’t expected to shed start pouring down your face as he pulls you into a tight embrace. He hadn’t realized – he didn’t think you would cry. Though what did he expect? You cried when he told you he was going to Korea for an extended period of time, leaving to focus on him and his health. It was the right move, no doubt about it, and Seokjin is correct, The Littlest Dumpling Book 2 will be stronger than Book 1, but that doesn’t negate how much you’ve missed him. Missed cuddling into him, missed the smell of his hair, missed the sound of his voice when he just wakes up, the gravel low as he asks why you’re staring at him for the millionth time. You’ve missed being with him, in any way, shape or form. Him leaving had put a strain on your relationship, but it hadn’t seemed insurmountable until he decided he was coming home and well, didn’t.

Yoongi was at the airport when he had a major panic attack. While feeling like he was having a heart attack, he left Incheon and went back to his aunt’s house. What was worse? Yoongi not telling you he wasn’t coming, not for two days, why he didn’t get on the plane? Or you driving to the airport, all ready to welcome your boyfriend home… to nothing. Or the fear and stress that he had gone missing or died and no one had a way to tell you? They all sucked, but what hurt most was that he couldn’t, he didn’t, he was so debilitated that he couldn’t text you… that’s what hurt. How in pain he was, and how little you could do to help.

It wasn’t and hasn’t been that you don’t understand the pain and inconvenience of mental illness. God knows the number of meetings and outings you’ve cancelled due to anxiety or those deep depressive episodes that have you feeling like you’re walking through a bowl of cement. But yours doesn’t manifest the way Yoongi’s does, and while you can reach out when you’re hurting, Yoongi hasn’t quite gotten to that point in his toolbox. You two spent hours on the phone, and video calls, just breathing together, staring at each other through the screen, nothing to say, nothing to do but find some sort of intimacy together, apart. But asking for help… hasn’t that always been Yoongi’s weakest character trait?

“I’m sorry,” You comment, pulling away from him and wiping your eyes on the hem of your shirt.

“For?” He asks, voice cracking.

“Crying.”

“Don’t apologize for crying, it’s therapeutic.”

“I knew I missed you, but I didn’t realize how much until I saw you… and you’re real, and you’re here,” You comment, wiping the excess snot your t-shirt had missed.

“Yeah, I made it back,” he shrugs, hands still resting on your hips.

“I wasn’t sure you would.”

“I know. I was, though.”

“I really missed you,” you say again, not fishing for him to say it back, but letting him know the deep, abject hurting you’ve been experiencing.

“I really fucking missed you. I wanted to ask you to come to Daegu, but I didn’t, I didn’t know how.” Yoongi shares.

“I would’ve Yoongi,” you answer.

“I know, knowing you would jump on a plane for me… it was overwhelming.”

You nod. “In a good way?”

“In a, she would travel the world for me just to lay in bed and walk around a city she doesn’t speak the language or has never been to before… my god she cares about me, so much, kind of way,” he explains.

“Does that scare you?” You ask.

“A little,” he says. “I would, if you, you know, had a breakdown and went home for two months, I’d come sit in bed with you. No questions asked.”

“Is that what you discovered?”

“Yes, that I think I’m ready and I want that kind of caring in my life, all the time, every day, from you,” Yoongi says.

“You still want to be my boyfriend?” You ask.

“Did you think I didn’t?” Yoongi’s eyes are sad, but he knows why you’re asking. “I know I’ve been … absent.”

“Yoongi, I’ve barely spoken to you in the last three weeks. I know part of that is how upset I was, but still.” You remind him.

“I’ve been a shitty boyfriend.” He says.

“I’ve been a shitty girlfriend.” You reply.

“How do we make this, work again?”

Your hand moves to caress his cheek. “I don’t know. Can we have dinner and keep talking?”

Yoongi cracks a smile. “You’re starving aren’t you.”

“So, fucking hungry.”

“You know, I know he’s never going to say it, but part of my breakdown was, and is, the fact that The Littlest Dumpling book two is better than book one, and book three is… so much better than either of them.” Yoongi says after finishing his drink, a generous pour of the whiskey he brought.

“I don’t know if that’s true, Yoongi. They all can be good in their own ways.” You say diplomatically.

“Yes, but you haven’t read the latest edit of book two.”

“I like that in each book the rhyme scheme becomes a bit more convoluted and complicated,” you tell him.

“Do you think it makes sense? Or sounds okay when read aloud?” He asks.

“I think so, they bounce more in each book.”

“That’s what I was going for.”

“It’s definitely working,” You compliment.

“Hey – what happened with Taehyung’s book?” He asks, treading lightly into the topic that sent him over the edge. He knows if he doesn’t ask, it’s going to eat away at him, and as the one true hurdle in your relationship, he’d much rather ask and get it out of the way than wait and wait while it festers inside of him.

“Seokjin is editing it.”

“Two people I dislike, working together? Are they waiting for the other two horses of the apocalypse, or?” Yoongi asks.

“You’re an ass,” You tease. “I think they will work well together. They’re in the new, smaller section of Serendipity that deals with adult novels, so I don’t really know. I don’t have jurisdiction over them.”

He sighs, relief he wasn’t expecting to feel cascading over him.

“That makes me, so, happy?”

You stare at him, expression clear and precise. “I wasn’t going to let Taehyung come between us, Yoongi.”

“I know you weren’t, but I was,” he admits.

“He doesn’t mean –

“You don’t have to do that,” Yoongi interrupts.

“Do what?”

“Make me feel better. Say he doesn’t mean anything to you, that it’s just work… He did mean something to you, and it’s unfair of me to minimize that because I’m jealous and insecure,” He explains. He’s done a lot of thinking, a lot of confronting the interactions he had with you before he left, and even after.

“Insecure about what, Yoongi?” You scoot closer to him, hand reaching for his.

“That you loved him first, and he’s, fucking Taehyung Kim.”

“Yoongi, honey, he destroyed whatever love or affection I had for him. He does mean something, but it was more a lesson in growth and protecting myself. If he hadn’t, if he hadn’t broken my heart, I wouldn’t be able to be with you.”

“You wouldn’t?”

“No, I wouldn’t know that what we have, what I feel for you, is so much, better, than what I had with him.”

“Is it?” He asks, disbelieving.

“Yes, you goof. Not just because I know you’re only dating me, but because you and I are more, equal. If that makes sense.”

“There’s more of a natural give and take with us,” Yoongi guesses.

“Yes.”

Yoongi smiles. “I think that’s because you hold more power than I do.”

“I think it’s because you respect me, as a person, in my career… you respect my wants and needs.” You say.

When you look back at your relationship with Taehyung, that’s really what it comes down to: respect. He didn’t respect your relationship, or the honesty you kept with him. He didn’t respect the care you gave to your romance, or how you always supported him. He didn’t respect your job, or your work… Or maybe, in his mind, he did. But how he showed it, and how it made you feel, were incongruous. It was about a misalignment of values, or shared and mutual respect, of boundaries. Taehyung, for all his charm and beauty and stunning prose, was a bit of an asshole.

On the contrary, Yoongi, by virtue of being Yoongi, is only similar to Taehyung in the facts that he too is a beautiful author, and he has at one point in time, been somewhat in love with you. Maybe it was how you two met, in your office to discuss signing him to Serendipity Publishing, or maybe it was because you had come out of your relationship with Taehyung hell bent on finding success… It didn’t matter, because Yoongi isn’t Taehyung, and thus he hasn’t mistreated you or disrespected you in the ways you have been before.

“And what are your wants and needs?” He smirks, hoping how close you’re sitting is an indication that maybe your body wants and needs his.

“Yoongi,” You scold.

“What?”

“You think we’re going to have this emotional evening and conversation and then have –

“Make love, say it correctly,” He teases.

“We’ve never once called it that, Yoongi.” You say.

“I know, but I think we should.” He says earnestly.

You stare at him, fully smitten before leaning in and placing your lips on his.

Seokjin paces back and forth, waiting patiently for Violette to come out of the bathroom dressed and ready to go to dinner. Except in his pacing, he’s rubbing the velvet of the ring box painfully hard, causing the box itself to indent as velvet crumbles beneath his sweaty thumb.

He’s so busy in his current state that he misses Violette coming out of the bathroom, eyes falling on him with a worried stare. That is, until she sees the ring box.

“Seokjin Kim, what the fuck is in your hands?” She asks.

He snaps out of his trance, and stares at her. Her multicolored dress compliments her recently dyed red and copper hair, bringing out the natural highlights in her face.

“You look beautiful,” He mutters, staring at her with a slack jaw.

“I know. But what is in your hands?” She asks again.

“I – fuck.”

“No, tell me,” Violette demands.

“I was debating doing this after dinner, or right now, in our home… but I couldn’t decide, and then you came out and I wasn’t paying attention…. So now we’re here.”

“You were going to do what?” She’s becoming annoyed that he won’t just answer her damn question.

“Propose.”

“Propose?” She repeats, her stomach dropping.

“Yes, I was going to propose to you, Violette, and ask you to marry me,” Seokjin explains with painstaking condescension.

“You’re an ass, I know what a proposal is.”

“Then why’d you ask?”

“Why aren’t you?”

“Proposing?”

“Yes.”

“I – do you want me to?”

“Yes.”

Jin rolls his eyes, of course this is the level of obstipation he’d have to endure to propose to his love. He kneels and opens the ring box, showing a gorgeous diamond and jade ring that Violette’s mom helped him pick.

“Violette, I love you. Will you marry me?”

“That’s all you’re going to say?” She snaps, eyes wide in horror.

“What could I say? You’ll tease me mercilessly until the day I die if I say anything more romantic than I love you. This isn’t our first trip around the sun, Violette. I know how you are. You’ll hate me forever if I say something mushy.”

“I’ll hate you into eternity if you don’t.”

“Violette, you are the most difficult, stubborn, challenging woman I have ever had the pleasure of knowing.”

“Y/N included.”

“Yes, goes without saying. I love you, no matter how frustrated you make me, or how soft and warm your heart is, you never stop amazing me. I want nothing more than to marry you, and to continue building this life we have together. So, Violette, my love, my darling, will you marry me?”

3 Months Later

Clothes are strewn across Yoongi’s apartment, not wanting to wait to get his hands on you after the launch party of The Littlest Dumpling. You’d outdone yourself, a really beautiful celebration of this new chapter in Yoongi’s career. Catered by his favorite Korean place, mandu was overflowing and paired nicely with other traditional Korean foods broken down into bite sized morsels. He did a reading of the whole book, which had at first felt stupid in a room full of adults, but after a whiskey it wasn’t so crazy that he was reading his book for his friends.

All of it led you back here, to Yoongi’s house, with him beneath you as you celebrated his genius, and he the fact that he hasn’t spent more than his allotted 8 hours in bed at one time.

Yoongi, with his lips still tingling from being pressed to yours, pulls way from your skin. His always placid eyes stare into yours, which often don’t mirror his tranquility. For two highly anxious people, it’s a wonder your gaze ever stills enough to lock with Yoongi’s.

“What?” You ask.

“I’m thinking,” He answers.

“About?”

“What you taste like,” he says.

You blush ferociously, had you eaten something weird? Forgotten to brush your teeth? Could gum lose its potency?

“What do I taste like? Regret and Chanel No. 5?” You laugh.

“Of course not,” he shakes his head, leaning into your fingers that still linger on his cheek.

“Then what?”

“It’s not honey but it’s sweet.” Yoongi knows he is failing to describe you to you, but he doesn’t know what else to say. Burrowing his head in the crook of your neck, he suddenly feels embarrassment as he kissed your skin.

“Yoongi,” you mutter, both to get his attention and to signal the tingling sensations that have begun to creep out from the places his lips are landing.

“What?” He asks, blushing cheeks and uncertain gaze finding yours once more.

“What do I taste like?” You ask again.

“I think it’s love. You taste like love,” he says, the usual droll of his voice full of timbre and gravitas.

“Do you love me?” You question, unsure if tasting like love means being in love, or loving you at all. At this point, after all this time, doesn’t it?

“I do,” he says. “Do you love me?”

When the question is repeated back to you, it sounds so odd, so silly and peculiar. What a dumb thing you had asked, because of course you love him. Haven’t you been loving him this entire time?

“I do,” you answer, pulling his hyper pigmented lips to yours once more.

#justasparkwritings #justasparkmaster #the littlest dumpling #min yoongi #houseofddaeng #purplearmynet #bangtanarmynet #networkbangtan #kpopccc #OT7 series #BTS series #Min yoongi x reader #Min Yoongi x you #lil king yoongi

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hollyhomburg · 2 years ago

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if someone was trying to destroy my happiness and my life I'd be hell bent on making damn sure theirs was miserable too.. I'd be emailing their work, messaging their partners, badmouthing them at family gatherings, hell I'd even print out a picture of their face and put it on a poster and put "creepy man" and take that poster with me on family gatherings lol

but really I hope you're able to move to korea again or any other place and go out whenever you want at whatever hour you want and not worry about someone messing up your happiness. don't forget to stay hydrated pls. this is random but do you prefer vitamin water or those artificially flavored water packets?

honestly, i tried destroying his happiness at one point and it almost landed me in juvie 💀 like seriously, i destroyed 50k worth of precious family heirlooms including a guitar that his father gave him on his deathbed so... as much as this is good advice that i have followed before i know that if i where to end up in prison because of him it would be the worst punishment because i want a life free of him not one defined by him.

honestly, i've thought a few times about leaving letters in the mailboxes of the people he works for on my street. But i'm always too nervous and too worried that it will come off bad, he's a very convincing liar, and i think it's probably likely that he's already told them about me. in highschool he would contact my teachers and try to get them to guilt trip me, luckily they quickly realized that like- the story he was telling them wasn't accurate and word got around and he was barred from school grounds but- yeah. i think i keyed his car at one point with "child molester" but tbh that could have been my mother.

all i really want right now is like, a couple of fucking days where i don't have to worry about any of it, maybe i need to go and like- go on vacation or something by myself. Maybe i could find like a cheap air bnb or hotel for a few days or something... i keep imagining what it's finally gonna feel like when i can just put my head down and rest from all this and fuck...im gonna sleep for a few weeks i swear to god.

i don't like flavor packets, but i am guilty of being dependent on mio energy an the regular flavors 💀 i know everyone says they're bad for you but i like them

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rein-ette · 3 years ago

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Are you still working on your Commonwealth study? Do you have any thoughts on Arthur's relationships with his colonies apart from Canzuk + US?

Not properly, unfortunately with exams and then work I haven’t had mental/emotional capacity to do real research (and probably won’t for a while 😔). But I have continued to think about and develop certain relationships, and I think I also have old hcs I’ve never shared, so I’ll put those down!

Born into the Empire

Australia

@oumaheroes has already done such great hcs on him idk what I can add, but basically he was a little bit of a rowdy child, always breaking windows and shattering fancy pots, never able to sit still. I think rainbow once mentioned that Ken (short for Kenneth, my name for Aus) was a lot like England as a child in his curiosity and energy, and I wholeheartedly agree. But I think Arthur’s intensity was more inwardly directed, pushing him to pursue and master new talents and learn whatever he could, while Australia is a little more carefree in his love for the outdoors, exploring, jumping around and off things, little wild animals. Unfortunately for him, he was born in a period of the empire when Arthur was very serious about his kids education, and therefore often praised those who studied hard and learned fast, which really just wasn’t Australia’s cup of tea. Australia took this kinda hard and thought he was the “dumb” one in the family that Arthur was always scolding, but in reality Arthur knew and appreciated that Australias interests lay elsewhere — he was just a frustrated, tired, parent who really wanted to give his kids the best while also holding his empire together, two goals that were never going to fit well in the end and would completely exhaust him.

As Australia’s grown older he’s realized a bit of this (not entirely, though) and also that 1) he really did break a lot expensive things and cause general mayhem 2) scolding us Arthur’s way of showing he cares, if he didn’t he wouldn’t have payed attention to him at all 3) despite being a penal colony, he was still one of Arthur’s more “legitimate” children (being white and a boy) and was therefore still incredibly privileged — never having to question, for example, why it was that Arthur was his dad, if it should be this way, or if he had a seat at the family table at all (more on this later).

New Zealand

Zee, from birth, was a clear favourite. Obedient, calm, quietly intelligent, he would also later develop a blistering sense of humour which combined with his appearance made it overwhelmingly clear who’s child he was. If Ken questioned his place in the family because of his poor academic record and others did because of their appearance/race/other complications, Kaelan never had such problems; his siblings called him the “prince.” Zee, however, also had a charm that, like Matthew, endeared him to his siblings and mostly protected him from jealousy, though he certainly still had issues with being called a try hard, daddy’s boy, bossy, arrogant. Certainly as a child Zee was a little prideful and, under that unperturbed demeanour, willful, but he grew out of it by the 20th century and became one of those most trusted by Arthur, second only to Matthew. He’s also always been inseparable from his brother Australia despite their differences, and today they both have one of the healthiest and most amicable relationships with Arthur of any nation, let alone former colonies (family road trips, every summer).

Bermuda

I absolute fell in love with this girl after reading about here, once, in this fic by @shachaai, and after that my mind just ran away with me. For me, her human name given to her by Arthur just has to be Ariel — for the little mermaid reference, yes, symbolizing her connection to the sea and stunning good looks, but also because:

1. Ariel is a biblical name, meaning lion of God. This makes sense to me, because Bermuda began as a Portuguese trade post, so Arthur definitely consulted our resident bad catholic Port before naming her.

2. Ariel used to be boys name. This also makes sense, because I hc Bermuda was and still is a tomboy. Bitch is fierce, takes no prisoners, and has zero filter. Her letters to Arthur, which all the colonies sent so Arthur could keep an eye on things, were full of shit like “I swear to god if the Spanish don’t get out of my waters I might eat one of them,” and “father, I asked you for destroyers two months ago, and yet you sent them to Hong Kong — could you explain this most unusual occurrence, surely it’s not that you forgot”, and “thank you for the harpoon on my birthday, I caught a small shark a couple days ago and have sent you some of its teeth for your collection.” Arthur tolerates this attitude because he’s weak when it comes to girls; he absolutely spoils his daughters (and flushes like a 16 year old when a woman so much as bats her eyelashes at him). Yes, p*ssywhipped Arthur is a hill I will die on.

3. It also suits her because? Ariel? Shakespeare? The Tempest? Bermuda Triangle? Shipwrecks? Daughter-like figure of powerful and vengeful sorcerer? Yeah. And this girl is a fire spirit — she is so lively, snarky, clever. As she’s grown older she’s mellowed out a little, but still: a no shit taken, no fucks given type of gal.

4. Speaking of growing up, she’s also become quite the beauty. Shacha, if I’m remembering correctly, described her as dark skinned, wavy-haired, and green eyed and that image has been burned onto the back of my eyelids ever since. Those Iberian genetics really be pulling through for her, that’s for sure. Engport love child if I’ve ever seen one. Definitely one of the prettiest in her family.

Singapore

I’ve already mentioned this to needcake, but I’m not too big a fan of canon Singapore, so this is my oc version. Singapore is fascinating to me because it had only a very small local population before it became a colony (The original settlement had actually been destroyed by the Portuguese about two centuries before the British started building a port there.) So nation-tans like Singapore and Bermuda really are Arthur’s children in the most direct sense of the word. And yet, Singapore is mostly ethnically Chinese, with Malays being the second largest group. Growing up Asian in a white, Victorian era family surely cannot have been easy and more than once Singapore probably wondered if there hadn’t been some mistake. To make up for the constant fear that he wasn’t “really” British, Singapore studied ferociously and had a truly terrifying work ethic. I’m not sure if this is common knowledge outside Asian circles, so I’ll mention that this hc comes from the fact Singapore is well known for having truly exceptional students and some of the most prestigious schools. Singaporeans score highly in literally everything and they have an advantage with good English learning environments, a highly desirable trait in Asia, but these results come from brutally long hours — and its really saying something that they’re known for working hard, considering the studying ethic of students in Korea, Japan, and China aint nothing to sneeze at, either. To me this actually fits really well with Singapore’s upbringing in Arthur’s household, because Arthur himself prizes intelligence and hard work above all else, being a workaholic himself.

As for their relationship, it was probably the best when Singapore was young and peaked in the 1930s with the massive naval base the British built at Singapore, at the time the largest dry dock in the world. Singapore was a well-behaved child, not necessarily introverted but not rowdy either, and all the way into his teenage years he truly admired Arthur and was proud to be a part of the British Empire, despite his lingering unease and insecurities. The British defeat in World War II, however, was a massive turning point. He had worked his ass off to be a good son, a good brother, to contribute to the only family and system he had ever known, and he had thought by the 30s he was finally on his way to becoming a fine adult. And suddenly, the British surrender brings his entire world crashing down. He had followed the rules faithfully thinking it was his destiny, but suddenly it was clear that all rules were made up. Of course, his insecurities exploded. If the empire was a ruse, what the hell was he? A part of the illusion? He couldn’t have a truly Asian identity, because many of the old East Asian nations shunned him for his Western upbringing, and he could not entirely understand their values either. So he was a kid who kinda had to figure out late and very very suddenly who the fuck he was and wanted to be.

And, well, he’s done pretty well for himself, hasn’t he. After having a total crisis and questioning everything, I think Singapore slowly started to realize that just because the British Empire as a political entity didn’t last forever, that didn’t mean that his entire childhood and identity weren’t real. The love he gave to his siblings and the love he got back, the hard work he put in, his bond with Arthur and the safe, happy childhood he had — those memories and feelings didnt have to be diminished by what came after. Essentially, he learned the lesson all nations have to learn, which is that one needs to be able to discern between duties as a nation and feelings as a human being, and to some extent keep them separate to protect both.

Whoooooo ok I’ll stop there because this turned into a dissertation, sorry. Let me know if there are any specifics u want me to elaborate on or anything I missed, but I’ll leave this here for today :)

#hws england #hws Australia #hws new zealand #oc: hws Bermuda #not gonna tag anymore I’m lazy #fun times with the commonwealth #I probably won’t write so much for all of them I just put it there to remind myself #needcake #ask #my hcs

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imaginationofacrazyfangirl · 4 years ago

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{Metanoia}

Pairing: Jungkook x female reader, Older brother! Jimin x Reader, Hoseok x reader

*8k- ongoing

Genre: Enemies to lovers, childhood friends, major misunderstandings

Warnings: Thigh riding, Fingering, Oral (male receiving)

Summary: The first time you meet Jungkook, he pushes you off the slide. Second time he calls you ugly. After that things continue spiraling downwards: he cuts your dolls’ heads off, tells everyone you’re a freak at school, spreads malicious rumors; Jungkook’s sole purpose in life is tormenting you. So why five years later is he insisting you two belong together?

Based on a prompt request by @bangtaened-army turned fic. Sorry bangtaened-army for the wait, and the fact that I still haven’t touched the original requested prompt..

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"I can't believe you would do this to me, Jiminie. After everything I have ever done for you. " you hiss into the phone. Your low voice does little not to garner the nosy looks of other people awaiting their luggage. Despite it being two am at an airport people never tired of drama, and you plotting the murder of your older brother could feed a whole TV show. See Jimin was supposed to pick you at the baggage claim. Keywords supposed to. However, instead of being greeted by your annoying yet lovable sibling you were greeted by someone just plain annoying.

"You're being dramatic, (Y/N). I sent Jungkook to pick you up, not Ted Bundy." Jimin replies dryly. Even through the phone you can tell he is rolling his eyes at you. He never understood your hatred towards Jungkook. To him, the dark haired boy is a sweet innocent boy who could do no wrong but you know better. The devil lives inside Jungkook.

"I would've preferred the serial killer. At least he'd be less of an ass-" Jungkook grabs the phone from your hand purposely shifting away so you can't take it back. Not that it makes much difference. Even if he was facing you, you would have to jump to reach him. "Hey man, it's me. Yeah, I know she's a pain but I'll bring her home. No don't worry about it I'm used to it by now. "

You roll your eyes at this. "Used to it by now," once again everyone sees you as the problem, not Jungkook. Forget the fact he tortured you all throughout childhood. Or that he's the reason everyone bullied you throughout high school. "Here, you going to behave now or throw another tantrum?" Jungkook asks, hanging back your phone.

Immediately you snatch it from his hands clutching it close to your chest. "Never take my phone out of my hand again. You hear me, Jeon?!"

"Then stop acting like a child and we won't have a problem." Jungkook snarks, arms folded over his chest as he looked down upon you as a parent would.

"Fuck you, Jeon! I'll find my own way home." You snap spinning around on your heels.

However before you can even take a step, caveman Jungkook throws you over his shoulders. He smacks your ass undoubtedly grinning as he does so. "Alright princess, enough playing. I promised your family to drive you home safely and I'm going to do just that. "

"You heathen! Let me down!" You pound against his back to no avail. He merely hits your butt again continuing to walk through the airport without a care. Seriously where did airport security go? Aren't they supposed to be on alert for kidnappers or something?

Apparently not because Jungkook strolls straight past a guard twiddling his thumbs. "Seriously?! Way to keep Korea safe man. I'm being kidnapped before your eyes here, dumbass."

The guard shoots Jungkook and you a questioning look, clearly unamused by you calling him ‘dumbass.’ Jungkook lets out a nervous laugh, bowing apologetically towards the guard. His grip on you not slipping for even a second. "Sorry she's drunk. Please ignore her."

The guard nods. "Best get her out of here or I'll have to detain her for drunken disorder."

"Will do. Thanks."

"I am not drunk-" you start only Jungkook to hit you yet again hard. You yelp face turning red as the guard laughs. "I swear to God I will murder you. "

"Do you want security to detain you? Because I'm pretty sure you'll be flagged as a flight hazard and stuck in Korea forever. "

Just the mere thought sends shivers down your spine. "No, thank you. "

"Didn't think so. " Jungkook replies. He carries you all the way to his car parked in the visitors' center. Not even letting you go as he climbed the three flights of stairs to get there. Undoubtedly he guessed-and correctly so- you'd run the second he let his guard down. Even when he sets you down to open his car door one hand remains firmly wrapped around your wrist.

You sigh loudly. "Isn't this a little overkill? We're at your car now."

"Sit." He merely says, pointing at the seat.

Tossing him a glare you do as told. Despite your previous bravado you know full well Jungkook is right, he is your only way home. Taxis are too expensive, and the rideshare apps went nowhere near your home. As much as you don’t want to admit it, Jungkook’s won this round. Still that doesn’t warrant the victorious grin on Jungkook’s face or the added salt of him reaching over to buckle your belt. "Overkill. Utter overkill. "

"Got to keep the princess safe don't I?" he says sweetly.

You cringe. "Enough with the princess stuff. You know I hate that. "

“You didn’t hate it when you were riding my dick last time you came home.” Jungkook mentions, sliding into the driver’s seat beside you. Heat rises to your cheeks at the memory of your last visit: Jungkook’s large hands gripping your waist as you fucked him in the backseat of his car. His hot breath against your ear whispering dirty things that would make a porn star blush. That feeling of your toes curling as he hits the right spot-

You shake the memory away. Fucking Jungkook was a mistake. It should’ve never happened. “That was a one time thing, Jeon. I was vulnerable last time. I just got out of a three year relationship-”

“And you just happened to fall on my dick several times.” Jungkook snorts. His tone stays calm but you can see how his knuckles whitened gripping the steering wheel. “Look you can make all the excuses you want, but it doesn’t change what happened between us. We had sex. Good sex if I might add.”

“Great sex.” You admit. “But that’s all.”

As great as Jungkook and you were together, you couldn’t let yourself fall into his trap again. The dark haired boy bullied you for years. He made you cry countless times. Great sex didn’t change anything. Not when you know Jungkook would hurt you in the end. Neither of you speak as Jungkook pulls out of the parking lot. Whatever conversation you have ends like it always does in harsh words. So for the next hour and a half you stare out the window contemplating your life until your eyes close shut.

It’s not until a door slams that you open them again. Half awake you can barely make out the familiar street lights of your neighborhood hanging above, or the equally memorable

houses of it surrounding you. Your car door opens to reveal a haggard Jungkook. He leans over unbuckling you without a word. His soft lush hair tickles your skin as he struggles to get you free. You reach out to comb your fingers through it.

“Are we here?” you mumble, entranced by the silky feel of his hair. “Do we need to get out?”

Jungkook nods. “Yeah, we’re here. Go back to sleep princess. I got it.”

You yawn barely comprehending as an arm slides underneath your knees. “Okay, but only if you’re sure.”

Closing your eyes again you miss Jungkook’s soft whisper of, ‘I’m sure.’

-----

Sunlight hits your face chasing away your dreamless sleep. Your eyes open slowly, greeted by the harshness of lavender colored walls filled with high school photos and cringey boy band posters from way back in the day. Nothing about your bedroom has changed moving out all those years ago. Everything stayed exactly the same from when you were a teenager. Dreadfully so unfortunately.

Groaning you stretch trying to remember how you got into bed. Last thing you remember is asking Jungkook if you were home as he unclipped your seatbelt, so you had to have gotten up. You must’ve been so tired nothing really processed. A thirteen hour flight would do that to you after all. “Look what the cat dragged in. I see you survived the car ride with Jungkook alright.” Jimin grins, standing in the doorway of your room.

You toss a pillow at him only to miss. “Barely. Seriously what were you thinking having him pick me up? You know how I feel about him.”

Jimin rolls his eyes. “I was thinking I have work the next day, and that Jungkook is the only guy I trust to pick up my little sister. Because not only would he keep her safe, but he’s the type of guy to carry her inside when she’s passed out.”

Your mouth dried. “What?”

“I said Jungkook carried your ungrateful ass inside.”

Suddenly the memory of Jungkook carrying you in comes to mind. His strong arms wrapped around you as your fingers buried themselves into his shirt. You were only half awake, but you remember everything from the way his cologne smelt to the soft beat of his heart lulling you back to sleep. ‘Sweet dreams princess.’

“No way. He hates me-besides I’m wearing pajamas!” You protest.

Jimin sighs. “Yeah. That I may have punched him for doing, but (Y/N), Kook doesn’t hate you. Trust me, that boy couldn’t hate you if he tried.”

“I don’t believe you.” How could you? The first day you ever met Jungkook he kicked you off the slide causing you to scrape your knees. Second time you two met he called you ugly before running off to play with Jimin. After that things got worse, from destroying your barbies, putting kick me signs on you, spreading rumors about you in high school, to telling your crush you were a slut. If those weren’t the actions of a boy who hates you, then you don’t know what is.

Jimin murmurs something about ‘misunderstandings’ under his breath, but doesn’t clarify. Instead he simply says. “Look, think what you want, but Jungkook spent the night yesterday since he was too tired to drive home. So be nice okay?”

“Whatever.” you reply, not mentioning the fact he lives down the road. Just this once you’d behave. After all, he did carry you home.

Jimin smiles, tossing the pillow back. Naturally it hits you right square in the face. "Good girl. Now get dressed. The last thing I need to see is my best friend eyeing up my little sister. "

You let out a silent curse, but do as told. Honestly it really didn't matter. When you lived at home you walked around in yoga pants while braless all the time, Jungkook be damned. This was your house and you refused to give up comfort because your brother's friend came over. It drove Jimin insane. To the point he'd throw random items until you either changed or returned to your room. However that was ages ago before Jungkook ever saw you naked or bent you over the counter of his kitchen.

“Stop it.” You slap yourself. “Thinking about it will do you no good.”

Unfortunately the pep talk does little to stop the wanting ache between your legs. Jungkook is the last person you slept with since breaking up with your ex. After you returned to America the last time you simply threw yourself into work, barely sparing a glance at the opposite gender. “Fuck. You need to get laid, (Y/N). Preferably not by Jeon this time.” you whispers.

-----

Breakfast is an interesting affair. Like always your parents and brother treat Jungkook as if he's part of the family, your mother piles food onto his plate while your father and Jimin discuss the latest sports and news trends with him. Occasionally one of your parents will praise Jungkook on something he did, mentioning how proud they are of him to which Jungkook eats up like a starving man at a feast.

Meanwhile you play around with your rice ignoring the sour feeling of getting ignored by your own family. After all, it's not like you lived out of the country and only came home once in a blue moon. So what did it matter if your childhood enemy ate up all your attention? "Thank you again, Jungkook, for bringing (Y/N) home. I know how much of a pain she can be to you. " your mother says.

Jungkook grins, the sun practically illuminating him from behind as he tactfully shrugs off the gratitude with a, 'It's no problem, Mom.' His butter wouldn't melt in my mouth routine sickens you to the point you want to vomit.

"I would've been perfectly fine finding my own ride home. " You mumble indignantly.

The comment earns you a sharp whack on the head by your mother's slipper. "The words are, 'thank you, Jungkook. ' I swear I don't know how I raised such an ungrateful daughter. "

You roll your eyes, swallowing the comment about her shitty parenting skills. "I mean how are you ever going to find a husband with that bad attitude of yours?" She laments, projecting into her usual rant of marriage and grandchildren.

Like always you ignore it taking the few blows to the head she gave whenever ranting about your marital future. Besides you, Jimin snickers enjoying your torment, having been born a boy he's safe from your mother's wrath since 'no girl is good enough for my precious Jimmie.' Thankfully your father has an ounce of sympathy left for you. "She's doing fine, hunny. (Y/N) has a good home and a steady job-"

"You're too soft on her! That's why she's like this. " your mother dismisses. "I mean what man would fall for a woman with such an ugly personality?"

Your heart gives a painful squeeze at her words, while such speech is common with your mother that doesn't make it hurt any less. "Actually I know someone who'd be interested in going out with (Y/N)." Jungkook pipes up, a big grin stretching across his face.

You shoot him a warning glare to which he shrugs off. A surprise gasp- that is way too exaggerated in your opinion- escapes your mom, she looks at Jungkook as if he hung the moon. "Oh Jungkook, that would be wonderful. But we ask you to risk your friendship like that."

"I promise you're not. This guy has loved- liked (Y/N) for a long time. He knows what she's like. " Jungkook waves off.

"Really? Who?" your dad asks, causing you to frown. Why does everyone think you are so unlovable? Seriously you are starting to get insulted, although you also question Jungkook and his 'friend. '

Jimin snorts, giving Jungkook a weird look. "Yes Jungkook, who is this mysterious guy madly in love with my sister?"

The tips of Jungkook's ears turn red and he ducks his head sheepishly, probably not expecting Jimin to call him out on his bluff. "What does it matter? A man is interested in our (Y/N)! All my prayers are answered!" Your mom cries, saving Jungkook from whatever bullshit he is about to spout. "Oh Jungkook, you're so wonderful. Any mother would be lucky to have you."

"Hey!" Jimin protests, earning a string of reassurances and praises from your mother. For a man who prided himself on his cool nature, Jimin was a mama's boy.

"I'm going to get started on the dishes. " you sigh, collecting the empty plates. As much as you love your family there's only so much one can take of them, hence moving to America.

"I'll help." Jungkook says, quickly gathering the dishes from your hand. Without another word he disappears into the kitchen like a little boy eager to impress his mom or in this case your mom; it adds to your rising irritation. You don't know what his game is, but if Jungkook thinks he can pull a fast one on you, he'll be sorely surprised.

You enter the kitchen to find Jungkook already washing the dishes, the sleeves of his shirt rolled up displaying his smooth muscular arms. Your eyes roam over them taking in the tattoos littered on his tan skin; he had gotten more since you last saw him, practically a full sleeve now. They look good on him not that you would ever admit it. "Hey, I wash, you dry?" Jungkook offers, throwing a towel your way.

You frown. "I got it. Go back to the table."

Jungkook scoffs. "Seriously? You would rather do dishes- which you hate doing- then spend five minutes with me?"

"Oh don't try to guilt trip me, Jeon. That whole 'I know someone who likes (Y/N),' what utter bullshit. " you snap. "Tell me, were you going to laugh when I arrived at some restaurant only and no one comes?"

Jungkook rolls his eyes. “You really need to see someone about this paranoia issue of yours, because this is beginning to get ridiculous.”

“Excuse me? Paranoid? You bullied me all my life-"

"I pushed down the slide when we were four. Get over it."

"You cut off my barbies' head! Repeatedly called me ugly. Spread rumors about me in high school, and to top the cherry off you told Hoseok, I was a slut. So no I won't get over it." You stomp your foot.

Jungkook clenches his jaw, the cup in his hand practically cracking under his grip. He says nothing, dropping the cup and sponge into the sink, before storming out like a madman.From the living room your parents call out Jungkook's name only for him to ignore them. The front door slams shut shaking the house so hard that the dishes tremble in their drying rack.

"What happened to being nice to Jungkook?" Jimin's voice surprises you from behind. Disappointment is written all over his face, and the way his body positions itself (arms crossed, legs parted) tells you, you're in for a lecture.

You turn away not in the mood to be parented by someone two years your senior. Especially not when he allots Jungkook to bully you without a single reprimand. "He started it. Telling mom he'd set me up with some imaginary guy only to laugh when I get 'stood up."

Jimin groans, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You two are killing me. Look I can't spell it out for you, that is Jungkook's business, so I am just going to say this...I destroyed your barbies not Jungkook. "

You froze. "What?"

"I cut off Minnie's, Hana's and Lany's heads. You pissed me off by eating my snack. I wanted revenge." Jimin shrugged.

"B-but I caught Jungkook red handed! I saw him with Minnie's head!"

A sheepish look grew on his face. He tucks a piece of hair behind his ear, a habit he did whenever nervous. "Yeah, he was trying to fix her. "

The dish in your hands drops shattering against the kitchen floor. Your mouth opens but no words come out; funny seeing how thousands of thoughts run through your head. "You asshole!"

Jimin winces. "Sorry. It was a dick move- but my point is you thought Jungkook did it and he didn't. So isn't it possible you are wrong about everything else?”

------

You spend the next few days wandering around town bored. While you feel grateful to be home and see everyone you love, the list of things to do in your town is actually quite small compared to home ( perks of living in a small town). Outside of grocery shopping with your mom, reading on the veranda with your father, and bugging Jimin whenever possible, there’s not much to do. Things are especially boring since Jungkook disappeared after that morning. The bunny looking boy normally makes it his personal mission to bother you as much as possible. Disregarding the few hours he has to work, Jungkook always was there first thing in the morning to laugh at your ridiculous bed head. Yet for the last few days he’s been nowhere in sight. When asked about it Jimin merely shrugged saying he was busy, before smirking and stating unnecessarily, “If you miss him that much, why don’t you call him yourself?”

It isn’t that you miss Jungkook, despite what Jimin said about your Barbie dolls, you still believe deep down he hates you. After all just because you were wrong about one thing didn’t mean you were wrong about everything else. No, you asked Jimin, because it’s unusual given that the boy practically lived at your home. It’s not like you actually miss his stupid face over something. Perhaps if you had more friends this boredom wouldn’t be an issue. Sadly you weren’t much of a social butterfly back in high school; unlike Jimin who was part of the “popular” crowd, you were an outcast. As much as you tried, the only people who would hangout with you were Jimin’s friends.

At first you thought it was something you did, but later you found out Jungkook told everyone you were a ‘freak of nature,’ and it was only because he and the others felt bad that they hung around you. Hearing what he said devastated you. It was the first time you realized how much Jungkook hated you. Moreover his words stopped you from ever really trusting anyone who wanted to be friends.

“Isn’t it possible you are wrong about everything else?”

Pushing the thought back you try to ignore the nagging feeling growing inside birthed by your brother’s words. You fucking doubt it. How could something like that be so easily explained away? “I think this is your fifth lap around town.” a familiar voice calls out, snapping you back to reality. “People are beginning to think you’re a weirdo.”

You don’t even have to look up to tell who it is. On this planet only one person owns a voice so annoying it instantaneously grates on your nerves. “Get lost, Jeon. I didn’t ask for your opinion.”

He snorts, continuing to follow you in his car. “You know it’s supposed to storm today right? You should head home before it pours.”

“Like I said: No One Asked You, Jeon.” you reply, promptly turning on your heels to head in the opposite direction. He’s the last person you want to see given your current thoughts. Whatever longing you might’ve previously had for him disappeared the moment you remembered why Jungkook was your enemy. Thankfully he doesn’t follow most likely finding something more interesting to waste his time on.

You continue walking onwards too infuriated by the past to notice the dark clouds starting to form above. It’s not until something wet hits your skin that you take notice of the sudden drop in temperature and gathering winds. “Fuck.” you hiss feeling another raindrop.

Of course Jungkook would be right. The universe just fucking loved him like everyone else did. You get stuck with the short end though: running in the rain searching for shelter, only for you to naturally find yourself in the part of town empty of all businesses. “Perhaps I can stand under a tree until it calms down.”

Lightning flashes across the sky followed by a loud BOOM of thunder making you jump. A small sob escapes your lips as you subconsciously curl yourself into a ball. Thunder always scares you no matter how old you get. “I’m not here. I’m not here.” you whisper, rocking on balls of your feet.

However the deafening sounds of thunder destroys any hopes of pretending to be elsewhere. So you curl tighter into a ball praying for it all to stop. Overwhelmed with fear you don’t process the feel of someone’s jacket draping over you or the angry voice of Jungkook saying, “I told you to go home.”

It’s not until he yet again scoops you into his arms that you snap from your trance. You watch shocked as he carries you to the car. Through the rain and lightning he looks nothing like the boy you remember. Instead...he looks like a man you could very well fall in love with.

“Jung...Jungkook” You mumble, gripping his shirt as he sets you down into the passenger seat. He looks up at you in a mixture of curiosity and surprise. Neither of you can remember the last time you called him by his first name. It’s always been Jeon never Jungkook. “Thank you....”

“Don’t worry about it.” Jungkook replies, shutting the car door. He walks over to the driver’s side sliding easily into it.

Now clear from the rain you can make out how drench he really is: hair soaked, clothes sticking to his skin, it makes you all too aware of the jacket covering you. Reluctantly you shrug it from your shoulders missing the comforting weight of it almost immediately. “Here. This is yours. You should wear it.”

Jungkook glares. “Keep it.

“No. It’s yours. You must be freezing without it-”

“I said keep it! God damn it, (Y/N). Why can’t you listen for once?” he snaps, hitting the steering wheel. You recoil taken back by his outburst. Never have you seen Jungkook so angry. At most Jungkook stormed off or glared whenever mad at you, never did he raise his voice at you. "I told you to go home. I told you it was going to storm but you didn’t listen."

"I'm sorry…"

"You don't get it. You could've gotten sick if I didn't find you in time. Or worse you could have gotten hurt…"

"Oh." You reply, unsure what to say. Worrying about you wasn't something you expected from Jungkook, but it strikes a painful chord within you. Your heart should be warmed by the thought instead a painful sinking feeling fills it. Suddenly you want nothing more than to burst into tears. “You were worried?”

Jungkook lets out a long tired sigh. "Of course I was worried. You’ve been terrified of thunder storms since we were five, why wouldn’t I worry about you being out in one?”

‘Trust me, that boy couldn’t hate you if he tried.’ Jimin’s words ring in your ears. ‘My point is you thought Jungkook did it and he didn't. So isn't it possible you are wrong about everything else?’

Could Jimin be right? Is everything you thought one big misunderstanding? You were so sure of Jungkook’s guilt previously, but now...you couldn’t picture him as the sinister bully you’ve known all your life. “I’m sorry. I should’ve listened and turned around.” you admit, “I’m so used to chalkin everything you say off as meaningless teasing, I didn’t consider you actually meant well.”

“You never do.” Jungkook huffs. For a second you swear you can see pain fill his dark bambi eyes as he looks at you. It is an expression you’ve never seen on his face before, a look of hurt and dejection. Again your heart twists painfully in your chest. “You always assume I’m out to get you, when really I’m just trying to be nice. I mean sure I tease and joke around with you, but (Y/N), I would never purposefully hurt you. I know you don’t believe me-”

“Okay. I believe you.”

Jungkook’s foot slips hitting the break. The car lurches forward causing you both to nearly hit your heads on the dashboard. His head snaps in your direction so fast it practically gives you whiplash. “What? What did you say?”

Around you, cars honk aggravated by the standstill in the middle of traffic; you don’t care though. All you care about right now is the look of disbelief, shock, and hope marring Jungkook’s beautiful face. In that moment you realize how little you care about the truth. It’s unexplainable the sudden urge to move on from your prior hate, but you want to...you want to believe Jungkook is a good guy. “I believe you, Jungkook.” you swallow hard. “And I’m sorry for being such a bitch to you. So please forgive me.”

You don’t know what you expected Jungkook’s reaction to be, however it certainly wasn’t this. “I’ll think about it.”

If not for the sudden smirk pulling at his lips, you would’ve felt horrible. Instead you feel infuriated. “You asshole. I take it back. I’m not sorry. You hear me?! Not sorry!”

Jungkook merely laughs, shaking his head. “No backsies remember, (Y/N)? You can’t take it back.”

You glower remembering the childish rule Jimin, Jungkook and you made up in elementary school. It was to keep each other from ducking out of any dares or promises made, and apparently apologies now. “I hate you.”

Jungkook laughs harder. “I’m sure you do. Let’s go home, huh? I’ll make you hot chocolate if you behave.”

“I always behave.” You mutter, rolling your eyes. A second passes. “There better be whipped cream and marshmallows with that.”

“Anything you want princess. Anything you want.”

----------------------------------------------

You wonder if it’s creepy to find Jungkook so attractive while wearing your brother’s clothings. On Jimin, this grey sweatpants and hoodie combo makes him look like a homeless man, but on Jungkook, it has your mouth practically watering. The normally baggy material conforms perfectly to his body hiding nothing to the imagination. You see every curve, groove, muscle and bone (especially a certain large one in the middle of his sweats) in this boy’s body, and then to make things even worse you catch a sliver of tan skin anytime Jungkook raises his arms. Beautiful tan skin whose tantalizing taste and feel plagues your mind.

Suddenly you regret not putting up a fight about Jungkook coming over. Sure he was soaking wet from giving you his jacket, however Jungkook also lived down the street from you-he didn’t have to change into Jimin’s clothes. “Do you know if the dryer’s free?” Jungkook asks, lifting up said bundle of drenched clothes.

“Ummm, yeah I believe so. You want me to put them up for you?” you offer, trying not to stare. Although things are technically supposed to be cool between you guys now, they’re not. Years of mistrust and hatred don’t simply vanish after an apology or sudden decision to forgive, instead the emotions built between you two need to be sorted through and really only time could do that. Which is why you try super hard not to let lust takeover and destroy the fragile truce recently made.

Jungkook shakes his head. “Thanks, but I can manage."

You nod not knowing what else to say. Again his lips twist in that disgusting smirk you so despise, this time paired with a wink. “Don’t worry, I’ll be back soon enough for your ogling pleasure.”

Quickly you look away, “Who’s ogling who, Jeon? Cause it’s certainly not me.”

“Oh really?” Jungkook says, cocking an eyebrow. He steps forward caging you against the wall. Something dangerous gleams within those large eyes of his as Jungkook stares down at you with a ravenous look. Shivers run down your spine sending a delicious shock through your body. “That’s too bad, because I was definitely ogling you, princess. Seeing you wear this oversized shirt gives me sooo many ideas.”

You swallow hard, licking your suddenly dry lips. “Stop joking around. You and I know there’s nothing sexy about this shirt.”

“I disagree. Believe it or not, I find girls sexiest when they’re comfortable with themselves. All that lace and lingerie is nice, but nothing is hotter than a girl wearing my shirt and nothing else.” Jungkook admits. “It brings out the territorial side in me.”

Your brows crease. “That makes sense I guess, but this isn’t your shirt. It’s Jimin’s-”

“Mine. I left it here one night after sleeping over Junior year. “ he explains. “You stole it from Jimin’s drawer thinking it was his.”

“Oh….sorry. I’ll give it back.” Despair fills you at the thought. This is your favorite shirt regardless of it being a plain white t-shirt, it always makes you feel safe and comfy when wearing it as odd as it sounds. However you can’t afford to disrupt the newfound civialty between Jungkook and you.

Jungkook snorts. “Keep it. Not like it will fit me anymore. Besides like I said, nothing turns me on more than a woman in my shirt. Why do you think I never asked for it back, princess?”

He reaches out to toy with the hem of the shirt, his fingers drawing soft circles against your hip bone. "Although I think I'd prefer you without it on, or rather anything on at all."

"Jungkook…" you barely managed to get out as he lifts the material upwards. Cold air hits instantly pebbling your nipples despite the rush of warmth growing below. Instinctively you move to cover yourself only for Jungkook to grab your wrist.

"Please (Y/N). I've been dying to touch you since day one of your return." He begs, bringing your hand down.

"Okay." You whisper.

"Okay. " he smiles, pressing his lips to yours. Those large hands clutch your shoulders as he presses further against you. All those curves and muscles you admired previously push up against your bare skin. Through the sweatpants you can feel how hard he is.

A gasp escapes you as Jungkook's hands move towards your breasts caressing the underbelly of them. His fingers circle the outer edges of your nipples tracing them, before finally moving to touch them. He treats you like glass, a vast difference from your previous encounters and it's starting to annoy you . "I'm not made of glass you know?" You remind, stopping his hands. "You can be rough with me. "

"Trust me, I know. If memory serves correct you prefer it when I do something like this-" Jungkook snorts, grinding into you. The friction of his length against your clothed heat is exactly what you need. Moaning loudly you grip onto his arms trying to steady yourself.

"That's it. Such a slut for friction. You honestly thought I'd forget how you made yourself cum on my thigh that night?" Jungkook smirks, fingers grazing along the edges of exposed skin. Goosebumps rise along wherever he touches and you squirm like underneath him. His smirk widens as he plays along the hem of your booty shorts. "I had to wash my jeans afterwards, they were so drenched from you. "

"I didn't hear you complaining." You shoot back, pressing your hips against him in efforts to regain that delicious friction. "If I remember correctly you had fun flexing your leg underneath me."

"Never said I didn't. In fact I would very much like a repeat of that night." Jungkook grins, shifting so his thigh is between your legs. The muscle in his leg flexes teasing your core; in a commanding tone he whispers, "Go crazy, princess. Ride me. Right here, right now, I promise I'll take care of ya. "

That's all you need to hear to descend into madness. Almost instinctively you latch onto Jungkook digging your nails into his firm shoulders as you wantonly thrust against his leg. Moans escape your lips in wild abandon as his muscles rub against your clit at the perfect angle. Jungkook is right you are a whore for thigh riding.

Just when you think it can't get any better Jungkook's hand slips under your panties, fingers immediately finding that hard pearl between your legs. He brushes it softly causing you to hiss as your knees close in unwillingly to give up such feeling. Now this is more like it.

"You like that?" He teases, forefinger circling your clit slowly.

"Mmhmm…" you nodd, grinding harder in an attempt to pick up his pace.

"Words princess. Tell me exactly what you want. "

"More. " you cry out. "Kook. More please. I need you. "

Oddly the nickname spurs him on if the harsh whisper of, 'fuck' says anything. If not then certainly the desperate opened mouth pressed to your lips does. Silently you make a mental note to use the nickname again but it's momentarily lost as his fingers pick up speed. This time it's you uttering curses as Jungkook brings you right to the edge of cumming.

"Please, please, I'm so close." You want him so badly it's ridiculous. The smirk widens on his face, Junkook decides to reward you by slipping two of his fingers into your core. "Fuck Kook!"

"That's it, princess. Come for me. Show me how good you feel." Jungkook pumps his fingers into you. All words leave you as a haze of ecstacy falls over you, all you can is moan rocking deliberately against his hand. With every thrust his fingers somehow hit that special spot inside you.

Jungkook's an expert at knowing all your spots and kinks, almost as if he memorized everything about you, last time he and you were together. Either way impressed doesn't even begin to describe how you feel about his abilities. You moan his name, holding onto to him tightly as you orgasm onto his thigh. It lasts longer than expected small waves of pleasure still coming despite the relaxed posture of your body resting on his.

Gently Jungkook strokes your hair in a manner similar to what lovers do after such an event. Alarm bells ring out at the action, but you make no move to stop him. "Was that a good enough reenactment for you?" You mention, half teasing.

Jungkook grins. "Better than good. You got me so hard, princess, I don't know how I can last."

This time it's you who smirks. Sliding off of his thigh, you get on your knees anxious for the next act. "Well then, I better make what little time you do have as great as possible. "

Before Jungkook can say a word you reach under the waistband of his sweats gripping his length tenderly in your hand. The groan uttered from Jungkook's lips at the slightest touch of your hand ignites another fire within you. Smirk widening you pull out your prize, taking a second to admire the gorgeous cock. Despite having seen it before you can never quite get its length or the beautiful curve of it.

Running a finger along the thick veins you see a bit of pre-cum at its tip. "You weren't joking when you said that last act turned you on." You tease, swiping over his head with your thumb.

Staring into his eyes, you put your thumb into your mouth sucking off the cum. The salty taste makes your mouth water, with an exaggerated pop take your thumb out. "Fuck, (Y/N). Don't tease, I'll go insane if you do." Jungkook pleads.

"So needy." You say, taking him into your mouth. Thankfully your last boyfriend was somewhat of a blow job junkie, and while Jungkook is twice as large as he was, you have no problem taking his length into your mouth. The tip touches the back of your throat, instinctively you hollow your cheeks sucking in a slow teasing manner.

You swirl your tongue about his base enjoying the beautiful noises Jungkook made under your tongue. Soon a hand buries itself into your hair, gripping tightly in an attempt to control the pace. Normally you wouldn't allow such behavior preferring your lover to suffer under you, however there's something about Jungkook's desperation to get off using your mouth that sends heat pooling to your core. It doesn't take long until he's spilling into your mouth, hands pulling on your hair he thrusts his hips forward pushing himself further into your mouth.

“Shit, princess. That was great. Almost as good as cumming inside you." Jungkook sighs running a hand through his messy hair.

You smile wiping the corners of your mouth clean. "Unfortunately you're going to have to miss out. Jimin will be home soon."

Again his hands make their way to your hips, already you can tell he's angling for another kiss. "We'll have to be quick then. "

Jungkook leans forward, but this time you pull away. "The last thing Jimin needs is to walk in on us….besides we need to wash these sweats before he gets home. "

His lips curl into a smile practically relishing in your embarrassment, "Fair enough princess, but don't think we are done yet. I plan on making your toes curl as much as possible until the plane ride home. "

You cock an eyebrow. “Those are big words coming from a man who just begged me to cum. What makes you think I’m going to let you?”

“Easy, because you like it as much as I do.” Jungkook replies, grinding himself once more against you. A sharp hiss escapes you; almost uncontrollably you push back desperate for that sweet friction, however Jungkook moves away denying any sensation. “ Nuh uh, Jimin’s going to be home soon. Wouldn’t want him catching us, now would we (Y/N)? You’ll have to wait until next.”

“You, son of a bitch!” You snap, glaring daggers at his retreating form. As much as you hate to admit it, something tells you this newfound friendship with Jungkook is going to be more than you bargained for.

--------

Despite what your parents may think, your summer vacation home isn’t an excuse to be lazy. While it is true that Korea’s summer vacations are shorter than American's, as a teacher you still have plenty of work left to do during the student’s time off. One such thing happens to be reading over the posts written by your honor’s literature course throughout the break. Normally you graded them at night when everyone was asleep, but as your class delves deeper into the context of Frankenstein, you find yourself unable to keep your nightly routine with the density of the topic. Hence why you now sit in a cafe hunched over your laptop rereading Joni’s obviously copyrighted post.

“You look lost in thought.” A cheery voice teases.

For a second your brain tricks into thinking it’s Jungkook talking, after all he’s been bothering you extra since the two of you made the transition from enemies to fuck buddies. So it wouldn’t be unusual if the dark haired boy stalked you to the cafe to annoy you. However when you look up it’s not tattooed arms or a dopey bunny looking face you see, instead a pair of smiling almond shaped eyes stare down at you, their owner a very familiar reddish brunette.

“Hoseok!” you cry, leaping up only to hit your knee on the table. It throbs causing a sharp expletive to escape your lips. Embarrass you try to shake it off as if it never happened. Last thing you need is to make a fool of yourself in front of him. “Hi, I didn’t see you there.”

“I can tell.” he laughs gesturing towards your knee. “I didn’t mean to startle you, (Y/N). It’s just been ages since I last saw you.”

Your heart skips a beat. Nervously you tuck a strand of hair behind your ears in attempts to play cool. Logically you know you have no reason to get nervous, especially not when Hoseok ditched you at a restaurant after getting told you were a slut by Jungkook. Yet, for whatever reason that small high school girl who idolized him still remains inside you.

“Almost six years. “ You smile. “Time has sure flown by hasn’t it?”

“Maybe but you haven’t changed much.” Hoseok winks, causing your brows to furrow. Haven’t changed much? What was he talking about? Did he not see your clear evolution from loner geek into potential adult? “You’re still as pretty as you were back in high school.”

This time you are pretty sure your heart stops. It takes everything in your power not to gap like a wide-mouth fish out of water. Time seems to slow down in the small coffee shop as you work to come up with a response. Suddenly all the previous noises of chatter, whistling kettles and clanking plates become overwhelming rather than peaceful. Unfortunately even after being in a committed relationship for two years, your flirtation skills are still rusty. “You obviously need glasses then, because I looked like a hobo back then.”

You can slap yourself. Literally-actually slap yourself for that stupid ass comment. Thankfully Hoseok doesn’t seem to mind only laughing even harder than before. “Nah, you were the prettiest girl on campus. Everyone was just afraid of you, because Jimin and Jungkook always hung around you-speaking of which, I want to apologize for how I acted back then. I shouldn’t have ditched you over such a stupid thing like that.”

“Oh, it’s fine. Water under the bridge trust me.” you lie, ignoring the pang in your chest. Just remembering that day brings a new fire of hostility towards Jungkook. No matter how many years pass you still remember the day clearly. You were waiting for Hoseok at a local dinner, anxiously checking your phone for any messages or calls. A full hour passed with you insisting multiple times to the kind waitress that your date was arriving soon, however Hoseok never showed up.

You tried contacting him, worried that something terrible happened only to never get a response. Once home, you even bug Jimin who was friends with Hoseok then about the cheery boy, only to be brushed off. It’s not until you went to school the next day and confronted Hoseok in the hallway that you found out the truth. Jungkook let it loose that you were a slut and Hoseok being the knight in shining armor he was, fought him. They were equally matched with both of them garnering bruises and bumps because of it, but ultimately they were tied.

“Look (Y/N), you seem like a nice girl, ” Hoseok said, brushing you off. “And what Jungkook said about you being a slut probably isn’t true, but I really can’t handle all this drama between you two.”

That day your heart broke in two as dramatic as it sounds. Moreover from that moment you vowed to hate Jeon Jungkook for the rest of your life. “No, it’s really not and I might be overstepping my boundaries, but I would like another chance to get to know you.” Hoseok asks, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Okay. " the word slips through your lips before you even have a chance to think it over.

His face lights up and any doubt you once had shatters completely. People change, Jungkook did so maybe Hoseok matured too. Either way it wouldn't hurt to try again. "Great. It'll be fun, I promise. "

"I'm going to hold you to that Hoseok. " you tease. Inside you the giddiness grows, it feels as if you walked into some sort of dream or something. Didn't every girl dream of her high school crush finally realizing what a catch she is?

"You won't regret it." Hoseok swears. "Anyway I should let you get back to work, but first can I get your number?"

You rattle it off to him, doing your best to appear stoic, unfortunately the aching in your smiling cheeks suggests utter failure. Afterwards your students' work feels like less frustrating or maybe you're feeling a little generous seeing how Trisha totally bullshited her review yet you still gave a ⅘ on it. Whatever the reason you finish up faster than expected, leaving the cafe with an extra hour of free time. "Well if it isn't a princess set free from her tower!" Someone whistles.

Unlike earlier you have no issue distinguishing the playful voice of Jungkook. Turning towards the noise, you unsurprisingly find him propped up against his car in a cool uncaring fashion. His work clothes only help amplify the appearance; the black suit jacket paired perfectly with his white dress shirt and pants ensemble make him look like a Chaebol rather than plain Jungkook. All in all he looks absolutely mouth watering, but you'd die before ever admitting it. "If it isn't the ogre coming out of his swamp to play. " you tease, pinching his arm.

He chuckles, opening the passenger's door of his black Lexus. "I think you forget the ogre got his princess in the end. "

You wrinkle your nose in faux disgust. "Good luck, finding one. I don't know how many people can put up with your ugly mug. "

"Don't need to. I already captured you. " Jungkook replies, closing the car door.

You blink registering what he said. "That's the cheesiest line I've ever heard."

He shrugs slipping on a pair of faux Dolce and Gabbana sunglasses. Paired with the rest of his outfit, the glasses shattered the image of the rich Chaebol man. Their paint chipped arms and scratched off logo scream 'fake' and you wonder why Jungkook kept such hideous knock offs. "You should get rid of those. They make you look cheap. "

Jungkook scrunches his nose. "No way, they were a gift. "

"A gift purposefully bought from some shady street vendor, because my mother insisted I buy you a college graduation gift." You say, reaching out to grab them.

Naturally Jungkook only needs to lean away to thwart your efforts. "So? I like them. "

"You look like one of those wannabe entrepreneurs on Instagram. "

"How dare you! I have over five hundred followers, I'm legendary!"

"Did Jimin make five hundred accounts? Because he's the only who would follow your ass!" You say, attempting one more shot at retrieving those vile glasses.

Once more Jungkook merely tilts his head blocking your stubby little arms from reaching. "Whatever you say princess, we both know you're the one following my ass around here. "

"I'm following you? How laughable. I didn't know you were a comedian, Jungkook…" the two of you continue bantering the rest of the car ride home.

--------------

Author’s note: Special thanks to @dreamsfromthesandman for editing and putting up with my craziness even if she’s not army.

#bts #BTS jungkook #jungkook imagine #jungkook x reader #sunny writes #jeon jungkook #jeon jungkook x reader #jungkook smut

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nctzendreamz · 4 years ago

Text

off the table — lee taeyong

genre: angst w/ hints of fluff.

warnings: language, mentions of drug abuse, and mental illness.

featuring: nct members + chan and felix from stray kids.

authors note: taeyong was perfect for this in my head. also, thank you ariana grande.

is love completely off the table?

will I ever love the same way again? will I ever love somebody like the way I did you?

it had been almost a year. almost a year since he had heard your laugh. you know, the one only he was capable of getting out of you. it was gentle, yet so vibrant that it could color even the most plain and unpleasant rooms. he had seen you do it a million times, but his favorite work of art of yours was the one you did on his heart.

obviously, he couldn’t see what the inside of him looked like. but he could feel it. before he met you, he was certain everything was pitch black. to be specific, the darkest shade of the night sky one could possible fathom. so much pain resided in him. some he brought to himself, some he did nothing to earn. regardless, it was there, and as anybody with demons did, he found coping methods.

that’s how he met you, actually. holed up a strip club he had no business being in. one, because there was no one here he truly wanted. he would never admit it outloud, but the thought of love warmed him. not much, but it did. more than silly one night stands that have soul ties no one wanted to keep.

you were clearly out of place in the building filled with the scent of marijuana and flashing lights, although it did perfectly consume your complexion in the most beautiful way. he observed you for what felt like hours, just admiring you. he had no idea he would want to do this for the rest of his life.

it didn’t take much liquid courage for him to approach you. he could sense your fear when his slender fingers touched your exposed shoulder. for some reason though, the minute your eyes locked it was as if you were looking at someone you had known for a million lifetimes. or maybe that was just Taeyong’s point of view. maybe, everything was all an illusion. meeting you. falling in love with you. you falling in love with him.

“it’s been awhile.” a voice snaps Taeyong out of his deep thinking. the minute his concentration breaks does his surroundings suddenly blast into the center of his cortex. the volume increases. he is in the real world again. he isn’t high, yet.

“yeah.” is all he can spit out. all of the different coversations he could hear take place all of a sudden was making him extremely frustrated and unable to form coherent thoughts. or maybe he wanted it that way so he wouldn’t have to think about you.

you loved coming here. he hated coming here. but he loved you, and your favorite thing to say to him was, “when you love someone, you do things you hate. just like me sitting and watching you smoke for hours without stopping.”

he never realized how much you hated his distractions.

the here, was a restaurant that resembled a sports bar back where you are from. the food was less Korean and more greasy chicken tenders. and you really admired their honey mustard. it was kind of ridiculous how much you loved this place. it was always crowded. the smell was odd - a mixture of people who can’t seem to do anything but drink beer and yell, and foreigners who hated living in Korea. this was the only taste of home they got, so they took advantage of it.

did you feel that way too?

he doesn’t know. and he doesn’t want to think about it. some soccer game was on. people were cheering. he was just waiting on his to-go order.

“how have you been?” the familiar woman asks behind the counter. she was definitely in her mid-50’s. he assumed. she always would be here when Taeyong was dragged along, and she was always nice. who wouldn’t be with all the money you gave to this place.

“i’ve been fine.”

taeyong feels a little cheery conversating with another human. if it wasn’t his dealer, there wasn’t anything to say if he was being quite honest. his relationship with his family died out a long time ago. the only person that he could talk to was himself. the guys who were constantly down in the basement at his dealer were cool, but they never really got him. they thought he was weird, violent. only you cared enough to see how sweet he was. to paint him.

“good to hear. you tell your lover that i miss them!”

his heart, still colored from the mention of you, breaks. it had broken many times from your presence on this earth being acknowledged. everytime his chest would explode into his stomach.

he couldn’t say anything.

he simply walks out the place, not caring about manners. he just wants to go home. he doesn’t even like these fucking chicken tenders, but he’s going to go home and eat them. in your honor.

“excuse me.” a voice exclaims as he finally makes it outside.

once again, words don’t leave his mouth. the woman was probably lost. he truthfully didn’t care. he didn’t care about anything anymore.

“sorry,” she begins. her hair is almost a white color. it’s clearly dyed, but she might have been naturally a darker shade of blonde since the coloring seemed too perfect. “i just...i’ve been watching you - wait, that sounds incredible creepy—“

no one could compare to you, but she reminded him of you. you always did this when you were nervous, or had a severe lack of sleep. you would say things you considered to be silly. fumble with your words. and you would always ruin it more by acknowledging it.

but he was never irritated. he thought it was the cutest thing in the entire world. you were the cutest thing in the entire world.

even now, he’s okay. maybe because he was reminded of you, he can appreciate the art.

“you’re really cute.” she finally spits out.

he couldn’t respond, for the third time today.

why was this so hard? it has almost been a fucking year. a year without you. a year without touching you.

yet, no one could ever compare. not the blonde woman standing in front of him. not the sky. not the stupid bar. even his drugs seemed lackluster to the high you gave him whenever you told him you loved him.

he walks away. he needs something. something to make him unable to think for the rest of the night.

never thought you’d be so damn hard to replace. i swear I don’t mean to be this way, if I can’t have you? is love completely off the table?

“y/n? you there?” you feel vibrations from snapping on your face from the man sitting beside you. he snapped three times, to be exact.

“yeah! yes.” you quickly correct, adjusting your posture along with it.

“i know you appreciate the arts, but that painting is nothing to stare at.”

the painting chan was referring to, seemed plain to a simple eye. it simply, was a black square. but you saw worlds in it. you saw him.

“you know christopher,” you cooed, giving his slim cheek a quick sqeeze before continuing, “just because something seems boring to the naked eye, doesn’t mean it actually is. sometimes, a simple work of art such as that lame black square can hold a thousand meanings.”

he smile is radiant. honestly, the neon colored walls in the movie theater couldn’t compare to it no matter how hard it tried. lately, you had been trying to predict what he would say when you tried to be somewhat of substance around him. you were truthfully scared of boring him.

maybe you saw yourself in the black square as well.

“you really find it interesting, love?”

his accent - God his accent. it had an effect on you that truthfully wasn’t healthy, but even so you always felt guilty when your heart would papilate as it touched your eardrums. but why? you were single. you were moving on.

you can’t even look at him anymore, so you settle on the painting once more. now that you think about it, it was kind of scary that it was in a movie theater. maybe chan was on to something - what was its purpose? to simply cause you pain? to make you think about things and people you could no longer have? a person who is the worst possible thing for your growth, but the best food for your pitiful, lonely soul?

“never mind, you’re right.” you stand promptly, suddenly wanting to get as far away from the evil on the wall. it didn’t matter how chilly it was outside.

“woah.” chan chases after you. you’re too quick though. you’ve practically swam through the crowd to escape into fresh air. what is wrong with you?

it doesn’t take long for you to find yourself at his car. his pride and joy by the way, in which he never let anyone else ride in yet. he had been saving for so long to get it. you didn’t know the model, all you knew was that it made loud noises when he wanted it to. the car was originally white, but the two of you agreed that it was the worse possible color for a car, so he got a paint job and now it was as black as a dark hole.

the stars are beaming, and it’s odd. you used to love nights like this. you preferred the day time, but it was something about a light in the dark, such as the moon that pulled you in. it always destroyed you in the end though.

“what did I do?” his voice snaps you out of your thoughts.

“huh?” you wizzle in confusion, not understanding why he believed he had done anything but gave you a peaceful night not lost in your thoughts.

his eyes tell you everything you need to know before his mouth does. he isn’t questioning your ever changing emotions and happiness to hear satisfaction from your mouth - to boost his ego. he truly feels as if he’s ruined any chance he’s had with you simply from being himself. even so, as he waits for you to answer he’s taking his bomber jacket off for you to wear. he was sweet like that.

“chris, you are always perfect. why would you think anything different?” you say as you put the jacket on.

he’s holding back a smile, but you can tell it’s more so from your proper word choice, and not what you said.

“you trying to sound English?”

“no.” you giggle, pushing his shoulder lightly. “I’m just trying to communicate with you.”

“then tell the truth.” he prompts, taking a step closer to you.

“can I lean on the car?”

“yes.” he laughs in a low tone. “you can lean on the car.”

“okay.”

silence is filling the air, and it’s making you sick even though it shouldn’t be.

“y/n.” he finally speaks. you decide you have the balls to look at him even though it feels so wrong. the stars - they’re sparkling right into his eyes and you know you are the dumbest idiot on earth.

why can’t you just choose him?

the question is repeating over and over in your head, but no answer comes. well, no answer you want to hear comes. this should’ve been easy money. the perfect guy, with a good family and solid morals is madly in love with you. he’s still here, even when you barely give him anything to work with, and you’re thinking about others who were nothing close to that no matter how they made you feel.

“my confession ruined everything, didn’t it?”

it was about two months ago that chan confessed his love for you. you laughed a bit, as it made no sense. the two of you had been in the same circle for awhile, and you had been notified of his appreciation for you long ago, but he had seen you break. he watched you go from happy soul to broken and he still liked you? in what world?

you enjoyed his company. that’s why you began to hang out with him practically everyday - doing whatever you two wanted. most of the time you two just watched movies, or played silly board games. but sometimes you would go shopping, or he would play you his music he worked on. you could tell he lacked confidence on what he could become, but you knew he had the potential to be so great.

his confession was short and sweet. and the way he approached you, you could tell he was somewhat confident that you would feel the same. you did feel the same, but you also still had feelings for others. when you declined his request to take things to the next level, he didn’t get upset. or at the least he didn’t show it.

he promised the two of you would move at your pace. and that was all you needed to hear to know that maybe one day, when you got yourself together, the two of you could be something.

chan always protected you. you never felt endangered, or unsafe when you were with him. to you, he was sweet, to others he was still sweet, but he knew when to be stern.

“no. i promise.” is all you answer. “it’s cold.” here you go again trying to change the subject. this wasn’t like you.

he promptly unlocks the door to his car, opening it for you as well. it isn’t long before he’s on the drivers side turning on the car so you could feel some heat on your body.

“i won’t bring it up anymore.” he sighs.

“no chris. you bring it up everytime you feel it. i like you, okay? i do. i know I’ve never said it out loud before, but I do. i just...i don’t know what I’m doing right now. there are some things I have to get over you know?”

you can tell the amount of words you used - probably the most you had spoken to him in months shocked him, and made him feel extremely guilty. you know he didn’t want you to feel like he was trying to pressure you. all he wanted to have was something. something that made him feel as special as he knew you had made others feel in the past.

“y/n I’m a fucking idiot. God, don’t listen to me. you are perfect okay? we are working at your pace and we always will. i - fuck.” his face goes directly in his hands.

it’s cute - the way he cares about his every move around you so deeply. you remember what it felt like to feel like that. it was the most nerve wracking, yet butterfly giving thing to experience when around someone you admired so much.

“chris...” you whisper, removing his face from his palms. he had the softest hands ever. “hey, don’t beat yourself up okay? i know what you want and I know you have nothing but the purest intentions. if I didn’t feel that way I wouldn’t want to spend everyday with you okay? whatever you think this is, it is. i promise.”

“okay.” he sighs the biggest breath of relief you had heard in a long time. “okay. i know what we need.” he offers. your hand lingered on his, and he decided it would be best to hold yours as the opportunity presented itself. it’s nice - the warmness. yet, it feels incredibly wrong.

you truly didn’t mean to be this way. you would do anything to not be this way.

“let’s go cop something from felix. hm?”

what chan was reffering to was the good ole’ mean green, weed. you smoked a lot more in the past than you did now, but you were still no angel. especially tonight did getting high sound like the best decision you could have made.

“yes please.” you say without hesitation, leaning back in the seat. your left hand is still in chan’s right, and you don’t plan on letting go. felix’s house isn’t that far from here, so you know your pleasure will be coming sooner or later. chan starts the car and begins the journey. usually, the two of you drive with music on, but tonight the silence was what the both of you wanted.

secretly though, chan snuck his AirPod into his left ear. he loved music, but he could tell you weren’t in the mood. and he didn’t mind that. he would do anything for you. the lyrics resonated with his with his soul so much that he felt it ache, even though he felt he had no right.

i’ll wait for you

even if I always feel like I’ll be number two

to someone you can’t hold anymore

taeyong can’t even recall how long he had been pent up here, high as hell. intoxicated as fuck. the chicken tender meal he brought had been long gone, but not from his mouth. the junkies smelt food, and took food like the animals they claimed to be.

this all sucked so bad. he hated being here. but he couldn’t move.

it was so loud in here. the boys he knew - johnny, mark, and jaehyun were all present. they seemed to be the leaders of the basement and they also seemed to be functioning quite well considering how high they also were. taeyong couldn’t fathom or make out what their conversation were, but he assumed it was about girls. he caught, “they’re supposed to be here any minute now.” from jaehyun’s lip. he seemed to be the strongest ladies man. all taeyong knew, was that he wanted no parts of the drug induced orgy he knew was going to take place. he also knew if he didn’t leave, they didn’t care. they were going to give a show regardless.

“taeyong!” johnny yells, bringing him back to focus. johnny was always very intimidating. he wore a smile when he got what he wanted, but if he spoke to you and you didn’t listen, he quickly got upset. maybe he was different when he was sober, but that was never.

“what’s up.” taeyong answers dryly, still not looking at him.

“you know,” johnny sits down in the dirty floor right beside him. “you’ve never been fun, but you were more fun before than you are now.”

“i went through this phase.” mark interrupts, taking the seat on taeyong’s opposite side. “what is it? mommy issues? a girl? or a boy? if you get spicy like that.” he chuckles. he coughs right after.

“how about everything. except the last part.” taeyong whispers.

“oh...you have it rough. was your mom a druggie too?”

“no - well, I don’t know. i met her like once when I was younger. she told me ‘i did it for your good’ and left.”

“so you were in a foster home? or did you get adopted?”

“foster home. neglected, so now I’m like this.” he chuckles. he’s laughing, but in reality to admit these things out loud hurt, even though he was sure the other boys had similar or worse stories.

“and the girl?” mark asks. he had began to roll up another blunt in the midst of taeyong’s life story. maybe it was too much for him. or maybe he was just an addict.

“i cheated. and i was mean. she was the best thing ever though. she got me clean.”

“for what? a day?” johnny laughs outloud.

“well, not clean clean.” he explains. “but off the hard stuck like coke, and lsd and shit. we both smoked weed. and I smoked cigs.”

“ew!” the two of them exclaim. “cigs?”

“so you’re telling me that the two of you do every drug under the sun, but cigarettes are where you draw the line?”

“duh!”

“have you seen all the commercials? with the person with the hole in their throat sounding like the old shriveled lady from spongebob going ‘chocolate!’ we don’t want that!”

“cigarettes aren’t the only thing that can cause that, you know?”

“whatever.” johnny shivers as if he had just gotten the worse news ever. “so this girl wasn’t a druggie? why did she even like you?”

“i don’t know. still to this day I don’t know. but she did. and she tried everything to make me happy. it just felt too good to be true, so I ruined it.”

“damn bro.” mark sighs, taking a deep puff of his blunt. “i thought people only did stupid shit like that in the movies or tv shows.��

“hey hey now, markie.” a voice speaks out of the corner. “be nice to our new friend.”

it’s jaehyun. funny enough, jaehyun tried to get at you once long before you met taeyong, but you had no interest in him once you found out his issues. then again, while he was attracted to you, he didn’t want you to love him. he just wanted to corrupt you.

“our boy is broken hearted. seems to me like he just needs some fun.”

“relax, jae.” johnny explains. “he’s not there yet. let him fall for us on his time.”

“what are you on right now?” jaehyun inspects.

“just a couple of blunts.”

“so just a starter?”

“hyung...” mark sighs.

“okay okay. fine. but when the heartbreak starts to kick in more, i got something that’ll change your life. you just let me know.”

“he will.” johnny and mark say once again in unison.

“boys!” a voice yells. it makes everyone stand up minus taeyong, as he had no idea who it was. he can hear feet coming down the steps. there’s a boy with blonde hair. the same boy who let him in. he was a new face, but clearly an important one from the way even jaehyun was waiting for his comment.

“hi felix!” everyone begins to repeat after eachother.

his voice is deep as he speaks, and his accent is thick. his face itself may have not been scary, but the way he carried himself was.

“clean up this fucking mess. i know you can’t do anything about the shitty couches, but make an attempt. i got some good people coming over and I need quiet. when I bring them down here to show them the product, i need everyone on their best behavior.”

“what exactly does that mean?” taeyong speaks. maybe he shouldn’t have, because everyone is looking at him as if he just called the president a bitch to his face or something.

“you’re new here.” felix explains as he finishes his strut down the stairs. he can be seen more clearly now, and his outfit reminds taeyong of someone you knew. he couldn’t remember his name, but it was chan or something. “well, new to me.”

“and?”

“and...” felix crouches to his level. “im the boss. and all of you do what I say. my brother ran this like a crackhouse. i want us to make some real money, therefore you all will be getting cleaned up. there will be people coming in and out, looking at what we have, so try not to act like the druggie you are. thanks.”

“yes sir.” taeyong says, although he has no intentions of respecting this felix cat.

the doorbell rings promptly. the house wasn’t so big that they wouldn’t be able to hear. clearly this felix had plans to change that, but for now he had to settle.

“that’ll be them. look like friends so they won’t be scared. they’re not like us. or, what you will be.”

with that he leaves. everyone is silent as they want to know who exactly is this person. they all expected some rich man with a million connections to be at the door. they hear one voice - an accent is present. he’s laughing, and they hear the sound of them dapping up.

“friend.” the voice says. they must have not seen each other in a long while. “what’s up? how have you been?”

“oh, I’ve never been better.” felix says. “and y/n.”

the sound of your name makes taeyong’s heart stop in his chest. what the? how could you of all people be here? you hated drugs. this was clearly a trap house. this is where taeyong would go to get everything you wanted, but you always refused to go with him. what male had you here?

jaehyun is smiling as he recognizes your name too. taeyong can’t notice though as he is genuinely about to have a panic attack.

“come downstairs will you? since chan told me it was a special occasion, I decided I’d let you two take a look.”

“felix...are you running a trap house?” you joke, not realizing how true your words were.

“not at all, sweets.” he relaxes you. “i just have good shit from my brother that needs to be sold. this is our little secret though.”

“we know.” chan answers for you. “snitches get stitches.”

“and end up in ditches.” felix finishes. “there are people down here, but they’re just chilling. don’t be scared.”

the three of you make your way down to the basement. jaehyun is the first face you recognize. you feel sick, but he didn’t phase you that much.

the black haired boy though, sandwiched between two other guys, makes your trip and fall on the disgusting floor.

it’s him. it’s really him.

why? all you wanted to do was have fun. all you wanted to do was forget him.

you can see in his eyes does he want to explode. but this was his fault. this was all his fault.

to be continued...

#nct #nct 127 #nct imagine #taeyong nct #NCT angst #nct reactions #taeyong series #taeyong angst #taeyong imagine #nct imagines #NCT series #stray kids #stray kids felix #chan stray kids

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danny-chase · 3 years ago

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Breaking a Promise - Read on AO3

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Titans (Comics), Nightwing (Comics), The New Titans (Comics) Rating: Mature Warnings: Major Character Death Relationships: Dick Grayson/Koriand'r, Dick Grayson/Joseph Wilson Characters: Dick Grayson, Koriand'r (DCU), Joseph Wilson Additional Tags: tw for self harm, Dick Grayson Needs a Hug, Angst, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Canon Divergence, emotional breakdown, Broken Bones, description of injury, star crossed lovers, Flowers, Canonical Character Death, it's Joey guys, I'm Sorry, Swearing, lot of f bombs, POV Dick Grayson, Dick grayson centric, Dick Grayson is bi, Dick Grayson is Bad at Feelings, Dick Grayson is Discowing, Dick Grayson Needs Therapy, Dick Grayson Whump, Angst with a Hopeful Ending, a little bit of fluff near the top, Gardening, when your gf is poly and ships you with someone else, Heartbreak, Heartache, no beta we die like -sobs- Joey, Hurt/Comfort, and then hurt/no comfort to follow it up Series: Part 5 of Bad Things Happen Bingo Summary:

The one where Dick Grayson has his heartbroken twice.

Full story under cut

Two years ago:

“Dick, what about this one?” Kor’i smiled sweetly, positively glowing in the sun. She gestured to a little potted plant sitting in the shade of the bottom rack. Her hair fluttered in the wind, seeming to sweep up his heart as well. Crouching, he gently bumped her shoulder, and she nudged him back. Perfect.

“Why don’t we look over there?” Dick asked, pointing over to another shelf.

“But I like this one.” She pouted, puffing out her bottom lip slightly. He glanced at the little sprout she picked out, his mind happily buzzing as he identified it without looking at the tag – botany lessons with Alfred had paid off.

“Lamprocapnos spectabilis.” He began. Kor’i nuzzled her head on his shoulder, reaching out a hand to stroke the leaves. He grabbed the little tag sticking out of the pot. “This one is of the Valentine variety.”

“Mmm.” She rested her hand back on Dick’s thigh, warmth spreading from the spot. “Tell me more.” He swallowed and complied.

“They’re a perennial – they come back annually. They like full or partial shade, and are native to Siberia, Japan, northern China, and Korea.”

“How big will it get?” She asked, rising to her feet, carrying the plant with her.

“About yay high.” He spread his hands two feet. “But Kor’i, uh, I can’t just give that to Joey it’s-”

“Commonly known as the bleeding heart?” She smiled mischievously. “I don’t see why not, your heart bleeds all the time.” She innocently widened her eyes, batting her eyelashes. “Or is it because it symbolizes love? Do you not love him?” Doubt was as clear in her voice as it was in her face.

“I-” He stammered; he would never cheat. “I love you.” Heat rose to his face. “Only you.”

Kor’i was perfect, she was so loving, always building him up, never tearing him down. Always healing, nurturing, growing seeds of her own – not just in him, she seemed to bring out the best in everyone she met. People basked in her beauty, and he simply basked in the knowledge of her presence. In being loved so fully, so openly and honest. Dick didn’t know if he could ever love anyone more.

“Oh.” Kor’i looked thoughtfully at the clear cerulean sky. “I wouldn’t mind if you… loved someone else too.” He frowned.

“I’m sorry if I made you feel like I did, but Kor’i, you’re the only one for me.” He stood, lightly pecking her on the cheek. She grinned, grabbing his hand, dragging him towards the checkout line.

“I like this one, forget silly earth symbolisms, Joey would love it.”

Dick sighed, following along anyways – she was right, of course, she always was – Joey would love the flowers, they were pals after all, he wouldn’t read too much into it.

One year ago:

A cool breeze snaked its way over the hillside, finding its way around the rock at his back and through his hair – leaving him disheveled in its wake. A chill rain up his spine, goosebumps swiftly decorating his arms. He could feel his hair slowly rise up, standing in a desperate bid to retain heat.

Dick wasn’t sure how long he’d sat there, knees tucked to his chest, head resting on his crossed arms. Too long likely. He should be back to the tower soon – he didn’t want anyone to worry, but after the mess on Tamaran, it was best for him to be alone right now.

He was just… so tired. He’d already destroyed half his punching bags trying to fight the emotion out – which had worked to some extent, leaving his hands throbbing and arms burning. He sprinted as far as he could go before his legs gave out. It had dulled the anger and pain, leaving him worn out and exhausted. The dull ache in his chest returned just as soon as it had left.

He couldn’t bring himself to look at the night sky – he’d come out here for comfort – to watch the waves lap against the rocks from far above and gaze up at the stars. But the stars could never shine brighter than Kor’i, only serving to remind him of what he’d lost when he’d ventured too close to the sun.

It wasn’t fair – Kor’i hadn’t loved Karras though they were together – legally bound, and he was here, light years spanning the distance between those bound by their souls.

He never believed in love in first sight. Not until he’d met her.

He’d always believed in love, though, from the time he was a child – his parents were living proof. It was foolish – his parents had died hadn’t they? Believing in their love until the bitter end, loving their lives, each other, him. It was love that kept them on the trapeze all those years, and that love had killed them.

He sighed, maybe Bruce was right – love wasn’t something compatible with their lifestyle. He never shared himself so fully with others or lost himself so fully either. Always playing cat and mouse with his lovers, never committing, communing with another soul the way he had with Kor’i.

He licked his chapped lips, tasting salt in the air. Light footsteps padded towards him. He curled further in on himself, not in the mood to talk. A rough woolen blanket dropped over his shoulders.

It smelled like crisp green apples, mixed with a hint of cinnamon.

Adeline Wilson had great tastes in laundry detergent – something she’d handed down to her son.

Joey crouched next to him, wrapping an arm around him, offering warmth and comfort. Dick hesitated, mind screaming to recoil, run away – be alone and repress, but heart yearning for the warmth and comfort he always seemed to find in Joey. That same warmth reminded him of Kor’i.

The desire for comfort won out, loosening up, he leaned against Joey’s shoulder. Joey’s chin nestled into the base of his neck; soft puffs of warm, wet air sent tingles down his spine. He raised his head a little dislodging Joey, feeling weirdly uncomfortable – but not displeased – just – he’d think about that later, now wasn’t the time.

Joey quickly backed off, removing his arm. Dick gave him a side glance and for a moment, lost himself in kind emerald eyes. <em>He isn’t Kor’i</em>. Why was that so hard to remember?

It took him a minute to process Joey signs. ‘Your hands.’ He followed his gaze down to his numb fingers. Upon seeing them he was hit by the realization they hurt like hell. He probably should have remembered to wear gloves, or at least wrap them, before taking his frustration out on punching bags.

His right hand had swollen, both had bruises blossoming, his skin rubbed raw, blood freely dripping from busted knuckles.

“Fuck.” He’d be out of the game for at least a month, if he was right about his right pinky – that was a boxer’s fracture. Tendrils of pain crawled out from the spot, his hands throbbing in time to his pulse. Dumb. Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb. He couldn’t afford to make mistakes like that – the Titan’s needed him!

Joey squeezed his upper arm, ‘let’s go’, he suggested, rising to his feet. Dick bit his lip, internally cursing himself for being such a dumbass. He shakily rose to his feet, immediately hit by a wave of exhaustion. Which in hindsight – he probably shouldn’t have sprinted until he dropped either.

Joey wrapped an arm around his waist, bending slightly to stand under his shoulder and steadying him as the blanket slipped over his shoulders. They left it were it lay – more pressing matters to attend to, but Dick shivered in the cool night without it. He took a few wobbling steps forward – and dumb – his knees gave out.

He never came close to the ground, instead, finding himself lifted into a princess carry. Joey smiled apologetically, with a little shrug. Dick sighed; this was embarrassing. He was eighteen – he should know better – Bruce had taught him better!

“It’s fine, thanks.” He ignored how rough his voice sounded, instead concentrating on the throbbing from his hands, using the pain to block out the ache in his chest. He focused his gaze forward, not thinking about how close he was to Joey, how Kor’i used to carry him this way, how Joey smelled like honeysuckle and lilac, how this was everything he missed – and he just prayed he wasn’t falling in love again – he couldn’t be, no – he just... he was projecting. He just missed Kor’i.

He ignored Donna’s concerned eyebrow raise as they passed her on the way back to the tower. Gar’s whistle as they crossed the living room. The way Joey was so delicate when placing him in the passenger seat of the helicopter, so careful to avoid eye contact, so mindful of his pride.

In the brighter lighting he noticed stark red against Joey’s golden curls. A flower from a bleeding heart had made its way into Joey’s hair. There were gardening gloves in his back pocket

His heart sped up as they took off, he felt weirdly lighter than before – though perhaps he was just dizzy from pain. Joey stared at him, his eyes darker than before, brow set determinedly, but looking pained and a bit melancholic.

“What’s wrong?” Dick asked, feeling guilty for ruining whatever gardening project Joey had evidently come from. A lot was wrong, he was wrong, was asking a stupid question.

The tips of Joey’s lips curled into a frown. ‘Do not do that again’ he pointed at Dick’s broken hands.

Dick shrugged, it was a dumb move, he couldn’t guarantee he’d never break his hand again. He shifted his gaze back through the window. Joey tapped him on the shoulder. ‘Promise.’ Well, if it would keep Joey happy, he wouldn’t make the same mistake twice.

“I promise.” He wouldn’t break his hand as long as he never broke his heart.

Now.

He was a lot of things, but he wasn’t stupid, and he didn’t lack self-awareness. He knew how to bottle his feelings into a jar, create a vacuum seal, and tuck them away on a shelf. The thing was, he also knew eventually he had to deal with the things he compartmentalized.

It had been a month since Joey died. He’d been putting it off. But today…

The bleeding heart had wilted.

The jar fell to the floor and shattered, his heart disintegrating into a million shards with it.

A watering can joined the broken glass on the floor, before he knew what was happening, he was running from Joey’s garden, not knowing where he was going, not sure of his surroundings. His vision narrowed, relying on muscle memory and reflex to avoid crashing.

Crashing was a good way to describe this.

He was right there. Looked Joey in the eyes. Watched him become twisted and never even noticed that his beloved friend was going through things no one should ever go through, slowly destroyed from within, suffocating from a painfully sluggish death before Slade made the final move.

“FUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCK!” Birds flapped away as he screamed at the sky, at the world for letting this happen. Joey never knew – he never told him – was too scared that this would – that he would –

WHY DID THINGS HURT SO MUCH HE SWORE NOT TO LOVE ANYONE LIKE HER AGAIN-

*CRACK*

He broke a tree, feeling bone snap against splintered bark.

He froze, staring at his right pinky, and laughed.

So much for promises.

Laughs turned to sobs, knees buckling as he fell to the forest floor – sitting on his heels before flopping to his back. Staring up at the baby blue sky, cumulus clouds drifted by without a care in the world, laughing at him, mocking him from the high heavens.

Tears flowed freely, nature as the only witness.

His heart wasn’t supposed to break like this, he’d locked it away long ago, he wasn’t supposed to care about people like this anymore, that wasn’t in the fucking plan. He’d restrained himself, time and time again, turned down offers, avoided hanging out – he did everything he was supposed to do to not fall in love again.

And absolutely none of it mattered.

Love had mattered – fuck love for being like this – fuck Bruce for making him believe he could live like him – fuck the world – fuck Joey – fuck Kor’i – fuck everything. Fuck whoever he was supposed to be, his training, his painstaking control of his emotions.

He pounded the ground with his good hand, promises could be broken, but he wouldn’t break – not today – he didn’t have time. He could be dead today, next week, fuck – half the Titans were dead, Jason was dead, he couldn’t waste time like this - his life was going to be short.

His life was going to fucking short and he needed to pull himself together – he had family to get back to. He had people he loved – if his heart was going to break anyways – he was so FUCKING stupid.

Drowning in regret, he slammed the ground again, hard enough for the shockwaves to jar his broken hand. Feeling pain was better than feeling this – because fuck – fuck – he loved Joey. He loved Joey and Kor’i and they were both gone and nothing was okay anymore. Joey never even knew. Never even knew – and it was all his fault – and he never knew how much he mattered – never knew how when he smiled it everything around him dulled in comparison or how when they talked it was like he had known him his all life.

He never knew.

And would never know.

He focused on taking painful breaths sobbing himself silly, laughing till he couldn’t breathe, and crying until he couldn’t feel. Time passed in a vacuum, hysteria waxing and waning until he ran out of tears to cry.

He rolled over, pressing himself up, wiping his face on his shirt, ignoring the familiar pain creeping up his arm.

He made a new promise because well, fuck the last one didn’t work out so he might as well start over. Giant pines towered over him standing tall as silent witnesses. He swore on the living along with the dead, any that would listen really – he didn’t care - he couldn’t keep living like this.

“Whoever I love will know.” He whispered the words as a sacred oath, finding an odd sense of solace. He paused, letting the words hang in the air as if imbuing them with some sort of power.

Stumbling forward, he made his way back home.

#bad things happen bingo #titans #batfam #ntt #dick grayson #joey wilson #koriand'r #dickkory #dickjoey #tw heartbreak #nightwing #discowing era lol #my writing

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