#i swear it was all a miss understanding
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devil’s minion fans watching armand slam daniel around repeatedly, force him onto his knees, and become become fixated on what makes him “fascinating”:
#if you don’t watch iwtv i swear you’re missing out#it’s amazing#amc iwtv#interview with the vampire#tig talks#devil’s minion#armand#armandaniel#iwtv spoilers#the newest episode had me knawing at the bars of my enclosure tbh#daniel molloy#iwtv s2 ep 5#sorry to all my followers who will not understand this lol#WATCH IWTV!!!
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I have SO MUCH things to do but I literally can't compose myself after the last episode
this is me currently
#i miss celebrimbor SO MUCH#I miss Eregion#I miss all elves#and to think we'll need to wait another 2 years#absolutely disastrous#i miss Elrond and Gil and Galadriel#I miss Adar#there is a massive gaping celebrimbor-shaped hole in my soul#you don't understand I need this show to live#rings of power#absolute fucking brainrot#Elrond#Celebrimbor#Galadriel#gil galad#Adar#if I was alone in the house I would ugly cry I swear (I feel this awful pressure in my eyes for the last few hours)#but alas I am not so no soul cleansing cry for me
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Me: Yeah! My favorite OP arc is definitely Whole Cake Island. I wouldn't change a thing hahaha
Also me, biting my nails and bouncing my leg and throwing up and whining: Usopp should've been there Usopp should've been there Usopp should've been there Usopp should've bee-
#i understand why he wasn't there HOWEVER#oda have you considered that i love usopp a lot and i missed him#and i think that since sanji kept an eye on him on water 7/enies lobby usopp should've been there for his vulnerable moment too#and also he would've been so much fun with all the weird things around that island#not to mention he would've look amazing with a wci outfit#and also i ship sanuso but this has absolutely nothing to do with the ship i swear#it just has a little bit to do with it#one piece#whole cake island#usopp#sanuso#< target audience
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do you have a favorite bit of motogp gossip that you either want to know is it’s true, or you just enjoy as a stand alone piece, no need for further investigation?
one of those where I initially stared at and like. lost all motogp knowledge in my brain. and then stuff did come back to me. this is all very much low hanging fruit and I'll add to it when I remember more interesting/quirky ones. BUT here are some things I want to know:
y'know how casey randomly suggests in his autobiography that valentino was sabotaged in the 2006 title decider? so, personally, I don't really buy this, because 'why' and also 'casey girl you are SO paranoid' - though, sure, if given the option I'd like to double check if valentino had a dud tyre (completely plausible) and also if somebody really deliberately gave him one (?? casey idk about this one). but what I'm REALLY curious about is... there's a change in his autobiography?? like I've seen this book excerpt float around online and the text is different from what's in my book!! mine's from the paperback version so I assume there may have been some edits for that, so that would make it the newer version... but like. this is a real editorial change. check this out:
version posted on the internet, from the hard cover edition???
version in my book, first paragraph is the same
But as soon as the lights went out Valentino was in trouble. I was one of six riders to pass him on the first lap and if you watch the footage you can see how much he is struggling to even keep up with us. His rear and front tyres were just not working together and on lap five the front inexplicably folded and he went down, right behind me. I couldn't help but wonder how he could be having such problems with his tyres. Could he really have been stitched up? It seemed so improbable, but I remember watching that race back in the motorhome that evening and thinking, Welcome to my world, mate.
this isn't 'gossip' because I haven't found anyone else who has spotted this, but like? that's a substantive change? if my one really is the newer one? ...?
let's set aside the fascinating insight you get into casey's knotty and at times bizarre valentino rossi complex with him adding the line "welcome to my world, mate" (oh my god. please just take him to dinner. I will crowd fund this I literally just need to be able to listen in. casey come on CALL him I NEED you to do the dinner thing, YOU suggested it not me). like we're not going to even touch that. but if my version really is the updated one, then he's kinda softened his stance, no?? "convinced he was stitched up" to "could he really have been stitched up"
what happened?? who wanted this change? casey? an editor? did dorna give casey a call? did some poor bloke from pr have to politely ask whether casey could please not state in his autobiography that the most popular rider ever had had a title stolen from him by the establishment?
(casey was talking about valentino's stolen tenth BEFORE it was popular. he did it even before valentino did, bless)
"there are a lot of commercial interests in the sport" also didn't make the jump to the 'new version', mind you. did Big America get to casey
come on you guys have to admit this is an odd change?? does nobody else thing this is weird??
okay fine moving on
Did Valentino Literally Curse Sete
(like. not literally as in did he curse curse sete, literally as in did he say it)
(though if he did literally literally curse curse sete, I suppose I'd also like to know that bit)
the commentators in 2003 brno say so and I'm inclined to believe them, but I need to double check whether sete and valentino really were partying on ibiza together right after that very painful valentino loss at the sachsenring. such a fascinating little detail, that's not something post-2004 valentino does I reckon
I mean, look, obviously a bunch of things from that time period I want to have fact checked. including valentino's friend hearing sete say in late 2003 that valentino wasn't going to be smiling so much after joining yamaha. classic bit of gossip, did it actually happen though
I've referenced this a few times before, but y'know how valentino said that marc's manager alzamora told him after sepang 2015 that marc had been angry at valentino for killing his title charge? I just want. to know. if this conversation actually happened. I don't think valentino would pluck a lie like that out of thin air, especially something so specific about somebody on marc's team, and he has known alzamora for decades but like. maybe almazora just said something valentino misinterpreted? I just find this such a bonkers thing from alzamora if it's true that I would like it confirmed for my own sanity, you know?
yeah look I would like to know if marc really did get casey kicked out of honda, obviously I've discussed this before and it's very he said she said but yeah it'd be fun to know the truth
this is literally peak gossip because I can't find a source for it but I swear a journalist did say it: the rumour is that marc blocked joan mir from joining honda in 2019. like, I'm only including this because I was explicitly asked for gossip as I just cannot find where it was said... but it is something that is. out there. and... again, just curious. like I buy it, but also it could be bullshit!
on a similar note, did he ever make clear to honda he didn't want either vinales or rinsy on his team circa 2016? was it just a vibe in the paddock or was this an actual demand from marc?
speaking of!! the whole thing about alzamora basically rigging the moto3 teammate situation between rinsy and alex marquez to ensure the latter won the title that year. what was that all about, how far did they go there
switching to valentino now. this doesn't quite fit the remit of the question because it IS something I've investigated. and my conclusion is basically a big *shrug*
did valentino block casey from joining yamaha in either 2005 or 2006, and did he attempt to block jorge?
there are completely contradictory sources on the timeline here that do make me feel like there's a chance yamaha was just fucking with casey at the very least in 2006 and valentino had fuck all to do with it, which a recent interview from casey did actually hint at too... he made it sound like maybe yamaha was just using him to try to drive down the price of another rider (which would then presumably be jorge)
I just want to know! and the thing is, it was a matter of open paddock discussion that valentino blocked casey (jorge explicitly references it in in 2007), but something doesn't quite add up between what jorge, casey, colin edwards, articles from the time and lin jarvis have said on the subject! my current pet theory is that valentino blocked casey in 2005 from joining the satellite yamaha team in 2006 (weirdly casey doesn't really imply valentino was responsible for this one in his autobiography, but whatever) but NOT in 2006 (casey does imply valentino was responsible here, you see my problem). and yamaha was fucking around with all four of valentino, casey, jorge and edwards in late 2006/2007. but. yeah. I have unanswered questions
the entire 'alex marquez blocked from yamaha' situation.... again. something is off there. you know the story from late last year about how he was blocked in 2019 from joining the petronas team in 2021? this completely threw me, because there was an entirely different story about this YEARS back in 2018!! I initially assumed the two stories were about the same event, but it can't have been! one's him being blocked in 2019 for 2021, one's him being blocked in 2018 for 2019
from the descriptions of both there's also no confusing them. the 2018 story has to be about the 2018 contract cycle because that's quite literally when it was published, and the 2023 story has to be about the 2019 contract cycle because it explicitly references the space fabio would create by moving to the factory team for 2021, which obviously wouldn't make sense before fabio's actual rookie season. like they have to be about different stories
and in that same 2018 story, marc said that back in 2016 lin jarvis told him no marquez would be joining yamaha:
again, this was in 2018!!
plus, he did say back in 2016 that he'd spoken to jarvis, which kinda backs up this is a conversation that did happen and marc isn't just misremembering the timeline/lying (the notion of marc joining yamaha in 2017 is fantastic, what an absolutely horrendous idea):
now what marc says in 2018 about his conversation with lin jarvis is very similar to petronas yamaha boss razali saying in 2023 that he'd been told by yamaha no marquez was allowed at yamaha. suggests that this is a thing that did happen!!
but again... razali was told that in 2019... after marc had already been told the same thing three years before that, and the exact same deal had already been blocked one year earlier... does nobody else think this is weird?? like, I'm not saying yamaha hq covered themselves in glory here, but is it not a little strange the satellite yamaha squad had basically almost signed a contract with the younger marquez again without checking in with yamaha, just ONE YEAR after this same contract had already been blocked???
again this isn't actually gossip because I'm apparently the only person going ?? about this but I'll say it: ??
kinda been annoying me since december last year, like I know it doesn't matter but I'm just curious about it! why's nobody else talking about the 2018 story!
idk my best guess here is that petronas yamaha was faffing about and playing weird games with the factory team, that the deal was never as likely to happen as they made it sound to the marquez camp. zero proof, that's me spreading rumours yeah... time to create some of my own unfounded gossip
(also of course I'm curious if valentino did have any actual involvement in this. like if lin jarvis was telling marc this in the year of our lord 2016, I'm assuming valentino didn't have to explicitly say to jarvis that 'inviting marc to the team for 2017' wasn't exactly high on his christmas wish list. it is interesting that marc frames it as jarvis making this about. like. all the marquez's way back in 2016, and again, would this really have been on valentino's radar at the time? that feels a bit...? alex marquez was thirteenth in that moto2 season? would certainly be very... thorough for valentino to already have had that particular talk with jarvis)
(mind u there's a fun moment in a 2019 presser where valentino is sitting between the two marquez brothers and the younger marquez is being asked about his contract situation, the implication being he'd had a motogp deal and no longer had a motogp deal. and he's answering and marc's doing his freak stare and valentino is Right There sitting between them... I <3 mess)
man did valentino actually ever fucking block anyone from joining his manufacturer #notmygoat. I still think he didn't know about jorge until the deal was basically done, had nothing to do with the younger marquez, at most blocked casey the one time but then yamaha wasn't actually seriously intending on signing casey in 2006 and was just using it as a play in their jorge negotiations, which.... idk. bit disappointing if true icl. I hope he blocked someone, I'll say it
(also. okay. I don't want to sound awful here because I do have a lot of sympathy for baby!casey but. ignoring the morality for a second, I do LOVE the idea that valentino blocked casey from getting a satellite yamaha seat fresh off his 250cc runner up season because it would conclusively prove valentino did ABSOLUTELY rate casey!! like he didn't even want casey to come close to being his teammate!! not even a sniff at his data!!) (genuinely this is the rumour I'm choosing to believe, I know there's a chance valentino didn't successfully block anyone and was just a complete flop but I want the 2005 one to be true. it really adds something to the rivalry idk... like ugh valentino saw how dangerous casey was proper early when much of the paddock wasn't yet convinced... cute)
moving on
there was a rumour in 2015 that valentino approached dani after aragon to complain about how sturdy his defence was, like moaning about denying him points and shit. now, there's exactly one article about this in marca that is the sole origin point for the rumour, and it says that valentino also interrupted a honda party after phillip island to complain to marc. this does not match up at all with anything either marc or valentino have said since then - and would mean you have to believe that marc wasn't actually blindsided by that presser... also feels a bit unlikely we would have heard NOTHING from any other source if vale was really gatecrashing a honda party
of course, neither dani nor valentino have spoken about this supposed post-aragon 2015 meeting either, not even when dani was kinda accusing valentino of hypocrisy during sepang 2015, but I suppose you could say maybe dani's just not the type of guy to bring it up again. however.... I do reckon occam's razor kinda applies here and if one of these stories is bullshit then they probably both are, plus it's not like marca is exactly a neutral source. still would love to be certain!! instinctively I don't really think that's valentino's style at all, but of course it'd be intriguing if the story were true because it'd be a sign of how 2015 kinda messed with him. but I still feel 2015 is more about him falling back on past tools he'd mostly discarded - rather than, like, acting wildly out of character, which again... well, this brings us back to how that kind of behaviour isn't really valentino's style. basically, I don't buy it, but that's kinda why I am so curious about it? because I feel like it would be really interesting and quirky if he had actually done that. does this make any sense
speaking of, again this doesn't really count because I did kinda investigate it last year.... but you know when valentino in that podcast referenced a conversation with marc around the time of sepang 2015, where marc stared blankly at him? I have a hunch about when that conversation happened, want to know if it's right. this also isn't really 'gossip' because this is a conversation I'm having with myself but
y'know when bez was injured on the ranch late-ish last year? a bunch of journalists pointed out how hush hush they were about what actually happened to bez - like they repeatedly drew attention to that because god knows THEY love some gossip lol. which probably means nothing, but I'm curious what the journalists' theory here is, like do they think it was an embarrassing injury?? OR. look. I suppose the conspiracy theory would be that pecco caused it (obviously accidentally!!) and everyone at the ranch knew it'd be a terrible look if they admitted that because of the whole title fight situation. call me casey stoner because those dots are not real and definitely have not been connected
okay, you know how there were rumours in the spanish tabloids bez said some real ugly stuff to marc at valencia last year, and bez didn't directly address it but freaked a little and did a sort of blanket denial that he'd said anything that bad? I don't actually think he did tbh, but again. would just like to check!
while we're already on bez, there was one report that the switch to aprilia was partly motivated by marc to factory ducati. again, not entirely sure I buy that this would factor into his thinking beyond the obvious 'this means the route to that factory ducati seat looks even more closed than it already did' angle'.... it's very much down my list of priorities but I'd quickly confirm/deny it if given the chance yeah
that's all for now lol
#these all feel INCREDIBLY boring but i'm stuck 2/3 of the way through a bunch of different asks and this was fast and fun so#anon i will return to this when i think of more interesting ones. my brain gave up on me. these are all so basic bleh#man i'm gonna miss lin i swear he was always up to some shit#i see u buddy. i know u were flat out lying to colin edwards for like. half a year. i see u#//#brr brr#batsplat responds#“welcome to my world mate” caseyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy#every day i wake up and think about Her (all the things casey wants to tell valentino but has never gotten the chance to)#like he canonically factually actually wants valentino to know what casey's pov on that rivalry was... doesn't that make you CRAZY#he doesn't want to interrogate valentino he wants to confess to him... he wants valentino to Understand... makes me ill#u know it's also like... because valentino literally has said Nothing substantive about that rivalry since mid 2013#has casey like... noticed? I'm sure he doesn't WANT valentino to keep insulting him but idk it's kind of a bit. hm#like if you ARE looking for closure and YOU are still talking about it a lot but the other guy is just. Not. would that bother you?#idk!! maybe it really is completely a confessional impulse for him. casey constantly wanting to get his story out there#and not really caring what valentino contributes. that he's stopped contributing at all. orrrrr WOULD he like valentino to *respond*#does he want confirmation valentino is even seeing this stuff!! sending it out into the ether and waiting for the echo gahhhhh#what was this post about again#THE FUNDAMENTAL ALIENATION OF FEELING UNSEEN BY YOUR FOIL WHO SHOULD UNDERSTAND YOU BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE#alien tag
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Hear me out (or don't... it's fine I'm just venting and mean) yeah um I don't believe Chakotay was saved in Prod*gy s2.
#the 'time travel' makes no sense when you think on it. What happened to Prime Chakotay? He got killed they showed that.#At the end s1 Janeway finds an 'alternate chakotay in an alternate timeline' and that's the one they go and get#we saw the original get merc'd in the message. That ACTUALLY happened. Lmao.....#They didn't prevent THAT death because they didn't go to THAT Solum with the Infinity and stop it from happening#instead it was 'ALTERNATE#' implying other.#OG Chakotay wasn't taken over by the alternative one either nothing suggests that was the direction for him in s2#they didn't do anything like 'well you see chakotay because at the end of s2 when we converged timestreams you have merged with your other'#if they did want to recover the original from s1 then keep that clear instead of being convoluted dont use an alternate timeline wtf#instead the plot was focused on gywns stupid fucking paradox plot and her being fixed#chakotay was the one in a paradox too did that not matter nah dw about it he had to die for this outcome or someshit lmao why#In the extended message given to admiral janeway it shows him clearly getting left behind and surrounded. Sadly no one intervened.#I dont understand why they couldnt have just made s2 about his rescue alone IF they took their time it wouldnt be so difficult#to follow#above that the one they rescued was ruined by the 10 year gap so he wasn't 'saved' at all. God i hate s2 when you break it apart#I dunno the more i look at s2 Janeway and Chakotay the more upsetting it is. Janeway would NOT have settled for an imposter.#everyone going goo-goo gaa gaa over s2 but it's sloppy af imo and undermines a huge portion voyagers struggles#id really like them to flatly lay out their ideas because literally nothing ive heard explains the story or choices of s2 with conviction#instead it's oh clap for wesley or the new vulcan and other references yay#describe to me your timetravel clearly and i'll happily take a seat on it (there is still other crap stuff mind you)#this is the most repressed shit i my head i swear#im angry because s1 is so clearly mapped out to a brilliant degree and for whatever reason it's not in s2#i can see through it#insultingly people are eating it up and claiming it's better than ever nah dawg embarrassing#there are nice ideas inside s2 but they arent adequately rewarded#it doesnt compare to the timetravel in other trek because they kept it clear#i mean it could have been an interesting parallel to endgame but in the end janeway didnt even rescue him lmao they dropped her#why bother building up this mission only for her to give up and go 'i'll hand it over because im told to'. Janeway had fuck all this season#let alone settle for not fixing her own timeline and her own friends deadly circumstance dw just grab another one from the shelf i guess#the emotional fallout was absolutely missed because they didnt elaborate on anything. Plenty of show but no substance from the characters
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If you don't hear from me again, it's because I have shuffled off this mortal coil and descended into madness on the wings of a fallen angel named Mito.
#biffhosgottago#seeing dpr ian is going to be something from which i shall never recover#he creates music the same way i create stories#i love that for me#but i'm really not going to survive#i'm going with a reader turned friend#how lucky am i that my silly writings have brought me very real friends#at least when i perish from my transcendence i'll know my smut built friendships with people who will miss me and my trashheap lolsob#HOW ARE THOSE ACTUAL TOUR PHOTOS wtf#so yeah real talk i'm about to be catatonic DO YOU UNDERSTAND#THESE ARE THE ONLY SPOILERS I HAD FOR THIS TOUR AND I'M TERRIFIED OF HOW MUCH MORE THERE IS TO EXPERIENCE#(please forgive me for being too chicken to see you mx)#i swear it's only because i'm genuinely afraid for my life by seeing you#but i have promised more readers-now-friends that i will go next tour and i will not back out even if the thought has turned me to jelly#hyungwon forgive me#i know you're the jealous type but i promise you're first in my heart#THIS POST ON MBB DAY?#I'M SORRY FORGIVE ME#I LOVE MY MBB MOST OF ALL I SWEAR
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The type of Christian who asks atheists how they don't like, murder people on the reg are so funny to me because they seem to think their religion makes them the Peak of Morality when statements like "if you don't believe in God how comes you don't do X thing" all but outright state they have no idea why shit like murder and rape is bad except that God doesn't like it lmao. Like way to admit you have no intrinsic sense of morality and need to be afraid of a higher power to be a decent person, but I promise if you're not a piece of shit it's actually very natural not to want to do heinous evil shit all the time potential punishment from a higher power or not 🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
#winters ramblings#seriously its SO funny when that happens because every time its like ??? the FUCK kind of thoughts do you have#to ask HOW i resist doing evil shit all the time because i dont fear god because i dont believe in God??#what kind of fucked up person do you haveto be to only resist killing people because of fear of a higher power??#these are people to avoid because typically they also come with the issue of using their religion to make any action they want#perfectly Good and Moral because GOD said it its in the BIBLE whether thats true or not and like bible or no#if you have no intrinsic sense of morality i dont want to hear about atheist morality from you lmao#not that athiests lack issues i swear to god white dudes who evangelize atheism like its their new religion#have WILDLY missed the point and often suffer the same problem as the aforementioned Christians#wherein the onky thing thats ever given them any kind of pushback is the church so they decide RELIGION is horrible and bad as a whole#which isnt true religion can be a perfectly lovely amazing thing for people but that brand of atheist#doesnt seem to understand that people turned away from the church because of wide spread abuse and discrimination not because#believing in god makes you literally mentally ill like some of these fuckos act like. abelist AND shite to religious folks in one fowl swoop#so you know atheists have problems too but like they arent making laws in their beliefs images across the world so you know#temper the criticism with how influential the group actually is although richard dawkins types DID get a lot of space to spew their idiocy#like dawkims if you think youre SOOOO much smarter than christians how come you have ALL the same misogyny problems??#youre not that smart and logical if youve decided a whole kind of person is inherently less than you buddy. in fact thats very Christian#of him actually. funny when that happens but again if you dont actually know WHY something is a problem#its very easy to say Thats Bad and then literally do the exact same thing you just condemned because when YOU do it its no longer bad#because its got YOUR flavor of fucked up morality on it now instead of being like hmm maybe Christianity isnt a problem#because it EXISTS but because a lot of people use their religion as a pointed barb to discriminate against huge swaths of people#and often the intolerance becomes a legal issue when Christians and other religious majorities shove through laws based on EXCLUSIVELY their#religions and opinions and that doesnt mean religion should be dismantled it means we ahould tell religious folk who would know what#morality was if it fucked them up the ass to shut up and figure out what morality is outside of rekigion before they start legislating about#it and whatnot. also i wish extreme opinions werent ALL the news focused on exclusively on the political right#can we platform some NORMAL well adjusted christians who are god loving AND not a bunch of wingnuts#who are two steps away from arguing thou shall not kill only applies to people they LIKE because they dont seem to understand#maybe murder is bad when EVERYONE does it not just The Bad People??!?!
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gang I'm not sure I have the courage to come out to my boxing coach
#I need to do some sort of physical activity and that always felt good#but it has always been deadname and women's locker room#then big hiatus from my part#and now I'm back again. again with the deadname and women's locker room#but it feels so wrong#and today I felt like shit because there was people in the locker room#but what is the solution?#to come out ?#they'll laugh.#I don't pass#I never pass#I think people at university don't misgender me only because they're kind#but I don't pass#maybe they'll even nod solemnly and say ok we accept you#but we all know they'll never not see the hips the chest the face the high pitched voice#and I have been stuck here since forever#everyone I know. EVERYONE#is now either on t or can pass#even people who've idk started after I was already going to the therapist because of it#and yes everyone has their own oath and yadda yadda yadda#but why I'm stuck?#I don't understand why I can't go on.#I feel like shit#and mother is ok with it but I know she still hatesthis whole thing#I gave her time I swear#but I miss her#and I tried telling her this and she. she doesn't want to hear it#because in her mind “if you really want it you do it”#like I could pass by sheer willpower#personal
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it's normal to be disappointed when you learn that your dreams are already dead. but just like a phoenix, our death will lead us to our own rebirth; and like a supernova, some deaths are beautiful.
#context is in the tags where i hide#which will be a lot#so uh#you all probably know about... my au.#all the team is busy. of course including me.#one's in uni; the other... idk. probably living his life.#as i mentioned in a previous post i've been missing the times when the group was still as active as how young people would be#and the youthful days i had in general#one thing i used to be scared of is change.#now i don't think i'm scared of change anymore. just dreadful but no longer scared#because change is inevitable and there's nothing we can do#so uhhh#go with the flow i guess#i always let the people i cherish live their own lives and i give them all the privacy they need#even if it means not being able to keep in touch with them#that is if they'd still remember me#whether they would or wouldn't that's okay with me#(no hard feelings everything is genuine and honest)#so... let's go straight to the point#the au would probably end up being solely written... that is if the art stuff doesn't push through#it's not like i've grown sick of those 'promises' i totally understand them i SWEAR.#i just don't wish to be misunderstood but like i just. couldn't spit all of it out in front of them#i'm sorry for being a coward#and if you see this... i don't know. probably tell me how you're doing? and either give me hopes that this could all still be sorted out-#or tell me if it's impossible at this point?#please just don't give me any false hope.#and... if we all ever don't push through#i'm genuinely sorry if i tired you or wasted your time and energy.#i'm sorry for dragging you to all my demands and perfectionisms and insecurities#missing entry
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gonna make the post here before i forget, but - semi-hiatus! again. im just struggling writing juice wise, and i cannot, for the LIFE of me, get myself back on here full-time again with more priorities. i might remake my blog in the future, might not, idk. i just ... im struggling, man.
i will admit, the dip in activity i had in april when some shit went down has left a stain on me mentally that i dont want to really go into, but a few close mutuals know what im referring to. i'm personally having much more fun with friends again, being able to play with people and just moving away from tumblr from time to time.
i promise this isnt me leaving or anything, but with working & getting ready for college again, i dont know if my activity will come back as much as it did earlier this year. im happier, im just in writer block hell. nothing anyone here has done or anything in particular that has CAUSED me to not be here as much as i want.
for now, ill occasionally answer asks while i work on my queue & threads to fill it back up again. hopefully, i can get it started again, but for right now, please do add me on Discord for better comms!! lmk who you are when you do add me:
#🐺 * 𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄𝐒 : out of character#🐺 * 𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄𝐒 : public service announcement#// *i feel so bad not being here but anytime im here i just feel a sense of dread and bitterness#// *i HATE the feeling but i miss writing my muses#// *and i hope people understand why im not here much bc i know how people are with activity n whatnot#// *but i swear i wanna be here. i just cant get myself to fuckin write at all#// *but ily yall. ill be here#// *ill be ready for xmas shenanigans maybe
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hello nina nation! sorry for the radio silence, but i’m running around at my new job a lot ( which i LOVE btw! i spend all day with the littles and hand out lots of ice pops to overheated kids and get drawn lots of pictures! ) so i fell asleep v early yday by accident.
pls note that i am working on my asks and am very excited about them ( there is an important lore one i’m stoked to finish aaa i’m taking extra time on it )
…i just ( smh ) keep getting distracted thinking about how iconique the When Worlds Collide HCU / Ravesey / OJV / Ewily/RSB stan-kyle swap crossover episode would be like it would go SOOOOO HARD GUYS
#nina speaks#i'm sorry me and teri were yappin about it#and i just know jk would be so obnoxious and aggro#like the whole time#just bc he’s wicked and nasty#but mostly bc he misses his stan#*jk addressing the other kyles*#LISTEN UP FOURS A TWELVE IS SPEAKIN#all while wearing one of those fuzzy bow cloth spa headbands#with like hearts and polka dots all over it#and his skin care on#and ravenstans ratty ass stain covered big giant boyfail teeshirt on#bc i feel like that’s how he was yeeted out of his universe waiting for rs to come home from a concert#meanwhile i think ravenstan looks cool and bad af in the raven cosplay SLAYED#and is being so nice help HDJSKS LIKE WOW GUAPISIMO ALL OF YOU <3#jk trying to kill all the other kyles and rs tryna do everyone’s eyeliner HELP#like can we see all the kyles tryna swap pics of their stan’s on their phone#bc i swear to god jersey would be like#OK KNUCKLEHEADS#U GET 5 SECONDS TO LOOK AT MY STAN#i know he’s…very cute and a world famous rockstar and wears itsy bitsy pants#I DONT CARE IM WATCHING YOUR EYES IM WATCHIN ALLA YOUSE BACK OFF#do we understand do we see the vision are we obsessed also hi ana rp and teri <3
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Hi I saw you reblogged my huntershipping fanfic post with a bunch of kind comments and I just wanted to say thank YOU for writing those fics 😭🙏🏻
Everytime I see that a new fic pops up in the tags I get super excited to read what you’ve written :)))
Your fics cheer me up and brighten my day! ☀️ (I also love how you characterize Ethan and Silver) (they’re so sweet 🥲) (and you’re so sweet too thank you for taking your time to share your work with the community 🥲🙏🏻)
I’ll leave more comments on ao3 when I go back to reread them 🫶🫶🫶
And I hope you have a great week too! 🫂💕 🌈
Hello!!!! 😭😭😭💗💗💗 my apologies for the super late reply, but waughhhh thank you for taking the time to send this sweet message! 🥺🫶 you have to know that seeing my series in your hbslv fanfic rec list already made my day as is, and I was over the moon when I got your ask that day 😭🥺💗💖 thank you for all of your love and support, truly, and I'm glad that I could do ethan and silver's characters justice; they deserve to discover love as a kind and warm joy for them to enjoy together! 🫂
I'm currently writing something for aokabu, but once that's done? I'm BACK at my hbslv brainrot, and hopefully I could pick up from where I left them in the series (either for the dinner gala or them meeting kabu part, hehe) 🥺👍 thank you once again for all of your love, and I hope your weekend treats you as wonderfully and joyful as you made me, op!!! 🫂🫂🫂💗💗💗
#i'm smiling to myself like an idiot but hey? me meeting another hbslv enjoyer? who likes the idea of them understanding what love is? how#can i NOT be happy just from receiving your fic rec list + ask waughhhh 😭😭😭💖💖💖 the amount of times i reread your ask is embarrassing#but hey. i'm just that happy haha :') thank you again for taking the time to write that rec list and drop this sweet message! 💗💖#i think i saw your ao3 comment too (though i'm 70% sure that's you)? i'll get back on that very soon. promise 🫡#anyway. once i'm done fistfighting with my aokabu wip i want sooo badly to write about hbslv again. i miss them dearly :')#i swear the fun part about writing them is how this is their first love and i can just... write about the simplest fundamentals about love#and i don't think i'm nowhere near Close in covering all of them so... (looks at my wips) let's hope i can finish it before uni starts again#anyway yeah!!! thank yew so much for dropping by op 🥺🥺🥺 hope you'll have a nice weekend with lots of hbslv crossing your timeline!!! 🫂#writing#ask#sugisprout#onigirikita fanfic
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Ahh ive been reading some of your writings and they're just so warm and fluffy to read (if that makes sense??) Though i cant really express it in the tags ;; also if its alright, may i please request blanket with mikoto or tears with fuuta? - @erimnar
Omg thank you -- I've been so grateful for your tags! :)) And thanks for the requests, I had a lot of fun with these woo! I went with a real fun one for Mikoto/Blanket (once again, picture T1 minigram vibes) and I'll post a slightly angstier one for Fuuta/Tears soon 👍
“Mikotoooo, just share with Muu,” the girl pouted. “I mean it!”
He scooted out of her reach. “What are you gonna do, stab me about it?”
Muu’s jaw dropped, but there was no real horror behind it. “Maybe!” She lunged for him again.
After a strange rattling from the walls had woken some in the middle of the night, all the heat in the prison had seeped away. Es had left to fix it immediately, and no one had seen them for hours. In Mikoto’s opinion, they seemed better versed in law than plumbing and mechanical fixes. He had no idea how long they’d all be shivering like this in the winter chill.
The prisoners walked around all morning in a mismatch of spare layers. Mahiru giggled inside one of Shidou’s extra doctor coats, far too big on her. Mikoto hadn’t stopped laughing that Shidou owned extra doctor coats in the first place. Yuno’s stylish hats could be spotted on several of the prisoners, Mikoto included. (He’d given his own beanie to Kazui, earlier.) Fuuta had handed out a concerning amount of sweatshirts, and Muu had some fashionable scarves that gave enough warmth to be useful.
In addition to the ridiculous getups, they each carried their bed sheets around their shoulders. Mikoto was surprised to find himself the envy of the group.
A while back he’d requested a weighted blanket; he remembered finding one helpful when work got too overwhelming. Milgram had provided a fairly large one, though he felt it hadn’t worked as well here. He didn't expect it to cause a stir until Shidou pointed out that its weight would make it even warmer than his own. Following that, it didn’t take long to attract the small army of murderous children that were after him.
As he stepped away from Muu, Yuno leapt at his other side, ready to snatch the blanket off of him. Although Haruka and Amane were too nervous to make a grab at him, they stood anxiously nearby rooting for his loss. Mahiru had jumped in as well. Her quick movements forced Mikoto to spin around and draw it even closer around his shoulders. Caring less about the blanket, but always ready to tackle someone, Fuuta joined the scuffle.
It wasn't like Mikoto cared about the blanket, either. He had no issue sharing it with the others. He knew the attitude in the prison had been dropping recently. Despite the brief camaraderie from sharing articles of clothing, everyone’s mood had been especially bitter today. As physical discomfort added to their mental strain, things could go south quickly. The place needed to liven up a bit.
He stepped back from the blanket thieves, flicking the corner of it from Fuuta’s hands.
“Not so fast!”
Fuuta fumed. “You asshole…”
Yuno, meanwhile, seemed up for the challenge. “You’re quick!”
“I’ve had a bit of experience…” He flashed a wicked grin. Mikoto didn’t talk about his family much, but a few of the others knew he grew up on fairly good terms with a younger sister. His big brother instincts had developed just fine.
He darted this way and that. He faked and sidestepped and spun. As his opponents grew bolder, he ended up sweeping the blanket off his back. He swung it around the room with less effort than expected. He was stronger than he looked, and easily kept the girls at bay while wrestling Fuuta for the blanket. He let out a laugh as he fought back against all the grabbing hands. Taking advantage of the height difference, he lifted it directly over his head.
The position wasn’t the most secure, though. His taunts were quickly replaced by feigned cries as the others dragged him to the ground. As they pinned him down, a cheer erupted from Haruka before he covered his mouth. The others joined in the celebration as they claimed their prize.
Mikoto lamented, “you’re so cruel… you’re all so cruel…” It was good, he thought, hearing them all laugh.
The loss of his blanket wasn’t his only punishment. Heaving an exhausted breath, Yuno flopped down directly on top of him. She tucked herself and Muu into the blanket. Then Mahiru wiggled in, beckoning to Amane and Haruka. By the time they all nestled in, there was just barely enough room for Fuuta to squeeze in with everyone.
Mikoto wheezed from under the pile of prisoners.
“Okay, okay,” he said. “You win. Fuck -- let me breathe...”
Mahiru just made herself more comfortable. “But you’re so warm!” The others muttered their agreement. Not one showed any sign of moving. The prison was far too cold to give up heat like this, after all.
“That’s because you all made me work so hard!” He huffed. “Come on.”
“What are you gonna do?” Muu giggled, doing a poor impression of his voice, “murd--”
“-- Aw, shaddup…”
#milgram#mikoto kayano#muu kusunoki#and others#it was silly but i was still able to wiggle some of my serious headcanons in!#mikoto being able to read a room and know when and how to pick things up with a bit of charisma#him having great big brother/roughhousing/antagonizing for no reason instincts sdfdsfds#and having a lot of stress relief habits that he swears by - and then cant understand why they arent working#(because orekoto usually does all the stress relief with physical exertion)#oh and also the fact that hes really chill about joking about their situation in milgram sfdsdfgfd 💀#thank you sm for the requests!#and i mean it -- i was so happy seeing your tags ;-; ty for the kind words!#also ive been on this site for a while and its the first time ive seen that 'tagging a sideblog on an anon ask' trick so you get notified#thats so smart omg#ill tag you whenever i post the fuuta one#i know i dont have to do both prompts but theres no way im missing an opportunity to make my fave cry hehehe >:3#drabbles
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Whenever I replay Mass Effect 3 I find myself thinking about my reaction to it at the time of release, like, a lot. Not in a negative way like most probably did, but in a self-questioning way, because I'm re-bathing myself in an experience that is both very meaningful and also confusing to this day.
I remember when ME3 came out, it was one of two games ever that I went to the midnight release of. This was right after I quite a really grueling factory job that actually had a huge hand in making my heart worse, but I say this mostly to make clear that this game was bought with the last bit of my money and it was going to be something that I put A LOT of my time into.
I was very offline while I played it. I think it's the last game I ever just got lost in and didn't come out for air for until I was done. When I started looking for peoples reactions, I was... I wouldn't say confused by the reaction, but confused by how viscerally people reacted. I remember going to bat to defend the game really, REALLY hard despite agreeing with most of what was said, if perhaps not the tone in which it was said.
It's important to note, I didn't do it out of blind loyalty to ME or Bioware or anything. I'd been very critical of DA2 (I know I know I'm sorry it was another time) a year before, so I wasn't opposed being critical.
Let me say; Ending bad. We all know it. Ending bad. Free DLC that they added to 'fix' the ending? Less bad, but bad. I'm actually not really here to talk about that though, and more here to talk about why I was SO viscerally defending the game at the time despite agreeing with the sentiment.
I want to say this first; I feel very strongly that the main game is as much a love letter to the series as the Crucible DLC was. Characters aren't forgotten, everyone gets a little time in the limelight, everything comes together and interacts with the plot very well. I think the vast majority of the returning characters are handled exceptionally well, and I do think that plays a part in my want to defend it. I firmly believe everything up to the very very end of the game is on par with previous games (except how the dialogue wheel is peeled back a lot and it uses a lot less companion cutscenes, that sucks.) and I do still feel that gets overlooked, although to a far lesser extent these days.
But I think the core of the reason I wanted to defend the game was because of how they made you feel the weight of the war. There is no part of the core experience of Mass Effect 3 that isn't heavy. Every second is filled with the grim weight of a losing war. Every side mission you do involves people losing everything or fleeing desperately. The Citadel is filled with horrified citizens and traumatized soldiers. Your companions face the visceral realization of what they could become at any time. Death happens on massive scales, you watch worlds burn, you witness close friends give their lives, you get a front row seat to the death of a child and it haunts you for the rest of the game.
It gets worse on a replay, too. You go to the Citadel, and you find the few uplifting stories you can, the ones that allow you to take a moment to breath... but knowing the rest of the game, you realize these people aren't out of the clear. You aid alien politicians and military officials only to find out their worlds burned a couple hours later. You listen to a family escape a burning colony only to arrive at a location that you later discover is a funneling system for creating and experimenting on Reapers. You hear a wonderful story about a human soldier and mother working through Asari government red tape in order to send her daughter safely to her grandparents on Thessia, and barely an hour or two after that Thessia is invaded. You bring the news of the death of an Asari woman's Krogan husband to her, and realize in the process that you introduced them to each other.
The thing Mass Effect 3 does exceptionally well is adding weight to conflict. There isn't a second of the CORE experience of the game that isn't accompanied by the horrors of war. And I think that's truly why I, admittedly foolishly, was so defensive of the game and it's detractors at the time. The common conception was that the war with the Reapers was handled poorly, and I disagree with that notion. It's only in it's final step it fails, in every other moment it pulls off an experience that truly makes you feel every second of the conflict.
#Mass Effect#Mass Effect 3#I keep mentioning the CORE game because one DLC very much turns into a detective romp and another is very much played for laughs#And I don't disagree with them having that tone#But I do think not having the#detracts a bit from me wanting people to feel how I felt that first playthrough#also fun fact#The first time I played ME3 it was with a save file where Garrus was dead#Because I thought Garrus dying was just like#A canon thing that happened until I saw other peoples vids#I swear I don't understand how I missed that I was pretty online at the time#anyway I don't talk as much about ME on this account#because it does feel like a 'point the stick to the right and slightly up' simulator to me sometimes#and that has made replays harder#But yeah I do love all those characters#I just don't fuck with morality system bioware games as much as I used too anymore#Hence was Dragon Age is my primary love
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very busy babysitting a duo of kittens (only two months old) the last few days but i shall be drawing when i return home (this includes requests)
and also if anyone wants to see the babies send an ask and i can post them in response hehe i have taken SO many photos
#yew branch#also i just missed a step on the stairs going down and ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow#i am now trapped on the couch until my back stops exploding at least a bit#upside tho is that the kittens are playing together on the couch#sometimes right on my lap!! theyre so so so so cute#i adore them#BUT YEAH i shall be drawing when i return home provided my back allows me to sit upright by that time#bc it sure isnt rn GDJSGJS#im sad ill have to go home tho.. these kittens are some of the cutest beasts alive#life is worth living because every day kittens are playing and having fun#i miiiiiiight be able to indirectly take one#one of my best friends might possibly be able/willing to take one and keep her with her own cat for me#until i move out of my parents house mid next year#so i might get to have... kitten that ive watched grow up from newborns...#the story behind these kittens is that one of my other best friends took in a stray and she turned out to be pregnant#and had these two!!#im also watching the three adult cats in this house but theyre not nearly as much of a handful#as can be imagined this friend is very tired of having 5 cats in the house regardless of how small two of them are GDJSVSN#which is very very understandable#i dont think i would want five cats unless i had a fairly large house. if i had a large house and plenty of free time most of each day#to give them play time and tons of affection#as well as the physical ability to keep up with them all#then id gladly have five cats#who knows maybe someday ill have a nice big house and plenty of spare time and my ddd will be under control#but that doesnt seem likely#aside from ddd being managed! because i have a pain relieving steroid injection tomorrow and then ill be starting physical therapy!!#im excited and i have a lot of hope for at least the physical therapy to help#PLUS THEY HAVE A POOL FOR PHYSICAL THERAPY!!!!!!! AND I LOVE SWIMMING ESPECIALLY AS A GENTLE WORKOUT#and low impact things are very important for my body specifically i cant do high impact exercise or itll hurt me#plus i just love being in water i swear i was meant to be an aquatic elf from dnd
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YURI. YURI
YOUR TAGS ARE KILLING ME MAN AUGH
Like I’m just sitting here getting smacked in the face over and over by your compliments on my art aughhh you can’t do this to me /pos/pos/pos
Thank you so much dude wawawa
dude trust me when i say i legitimately feel insulted whenever i see my favorite artists get lower than 60 notes on their works like!!! you're KIDDING ME guys how can you just bypass that and not reblog it??? COWARDS<33333
#ask#((my pen's recharging so silly mouse doodles is all you get but they conveyed the energy well enough LOL))#i swear half of my tags are fueled by spite and rage#REBLOG ART GUYS PLEASE#the only times i'm like understanding is when you literally didn't see it on your dash cause i follow. SO many people so i miss stuff a lot#so i relate! but come ON#it brings me visceral pain when i see how much effort it took to make the same pieces that barely get any commentary like GOSH#am i going on a slight tangent? kinda but please don't thank me it's my pleasure<3333#and i know how demotivating it feels to barely have reblogs that aren't your own so you bet i'm slapping you with my compliments!!!!#you better catch these hands when they come at your art istg i'll end up plastering a smile on your face permanently hhh >:Dc <33333
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