#if I was alone in the house I would ugly cry I swear (I feel this awful pressure in my eyes for the last few hours)

[sandwichmustbetasty]

I have SO MUCH things to do but I literally can't compose myself after the last episode

this is me currently

[emeraldgreenbeautiesstu]

I saw the way you looked at her.

Reader x Chris Sturniolo

Warnings: swearing, meantions of alcohol, tears, etc.

Word count: 749

Alexis speaks ! : Hey yall so this is my first story! I'm still trying to get my account all set up and my master list, and tag list put together. So please please bear with me 🙏🏼 I'm hoping to get writing more regularly so please let me know how you feel about this story! Comments are encouraged and appreciated, negative or positive. Anyways enough of my yapping thanks for reading! Happy Monday! 🖤

'Maybe I'm just being dramatic, he would never.' I thought.

The couple had been at a party all night, and when Chris drank he got a bit... iffy. See Chris had this friend who was a girl, her name was Madi. Y/n had always been worried about how close they are. It had always bothered her. But tonight it got to be too much. And she was fucking done.

'Nah nah nah come on,' Rihanna sang.

The song S&M blared through the house party. It made my head pound. I was so ready to leave, I was hoping to find Chris and let him know I was no longer having fun.

"Matt!" I yelled over the music to Chris's brother, and my best friend. He looked at me. "Where's Chris!?" I shouted.

"I don't know I think I saw him hanging out with Madi!" He yelled back, not finding anything wrong with what he just said.

'Of fucking course he is.' I thought. I stormed my way over to the stairs of the house we were in, where I found Madi and Chris. Madi was flirting it up with Chris and she knew it. Her and I had always had beef, I know she wants him. She told me she wants him. And it bothered me because what if he liked her back?

'Feels so good being bad, oh oh oh oh,' the music continued.

I marched over to Chris, grabbing his wrist and attempting to pull his stumbling self away from the crowd, when Madi grabbed my wrist.

"We were having fun, leave us alone." She slurred, very obviously several drinks in. I hadn't drank at all, I was the driver tonight. I shoved her off of me, and continued my on way, a very drunk Chris in tow. Once we were in the car, I set in on him.

"What the hell were you two doing?" I turned my whole body to face Chris, he was looking right back at me.

"We were dancing and having fun, give me a fuckin break." He mumbled, looking down to his phone. One thing about Chris that I couldn't stand was when he was drunk he got grumpy. I pulled his phone out of his hands and turned it off, setting it between the seat and my thigh.

"You know it makes me uncomfortable when you hang out with Her alone. It just scares me." I confessed, feeling defeated and angry.

"Why the hell does it matter to you! I don't like her and she doesn't like me, nothing is going on between us babe!" Chris burst at me. I don't like being yelled at, I never have. When I get yelled at my walls go up, I feel like a puppy kicked too many times. I sat there, tears welling up in my eyes.

"I'm sorry I just. I saw the way you looked at her." I exhaled. Watching Chris go silent. I gave him his phone, and turned the car on. Our conversation had mostly sobered Chris.

The car ride was mostly silent except for Chris asking if we could get Taco Bell. Obviously I said yes because I love him too much to make him sad.

Once we were home, I got out of the car immediately, rushing inside and shutting myself in the bathroom. I sat on the edge of the tub with my face in my hands, and I started crying. Silent, ugly tears.

I was almost done with my blubbering when Chris knocked. "Y/n? Baby? Can we talk?" He spoke softly through the door. It had been a couple hours now. I walked out of his bathroom, tears still evident on my face. He pulled me into a hug immediately, not even giving me time to push away. "I'm sorry sweetheart, I was just having fun with my friends and didn't think about how you felt." He spat out softly.

I hummed in response, nuzzling deeper into his chest. "I'm sorry for accusing you of liking her." I said, afraid to let go of the hug.

We hadn't slept at all, just enjoyed each others company. We got home around 11 pm and it was now around 3 am. We had turned on a movie a while ago, both of us falling asleep.

"I love you Y/n y/l/n." Chris mumbled sleepily into my hair.

"I love you too Christopher Owen."

Alexis speaks ! : (sorry twice in one writing I'm just excited!) thanks for reading my first story! I will put up a post addressing my taglist soon, love yall sm!

-Taglist-

@cupidzsq

[delioncourtes]

when noah kahan said "if the sun don't rise till the summertime, forgive my northern attitude. oh, i was raised on little light" and when he said "i thought that if i piled something good on all my bad that i could cancel out the darkness i inherited from dad" and when he said "my house was designed to kinda look like it's crying. the eyes are the windows, the garage is the mouth. so when they mention the sad kid in the sad house on balch street, you won't have to guess who they're speaking about" and when he said "i was taking the wrong meds, feels good to be sad" and when he said "my mouth was designed for my foot to fit in it" and when he said "someday i’m gonna be somebody people want" and when he said "no thing so sure that i can't learn to doubt it" and when he said "i divvied up my anger into thirty separate parts, keep the bad shit in my liver and the rest around my heart. i'm still angry at my parents for what their parents did to them, but it's a start" and when he said "at the end of the day, i know there are worse ways to stay alive" and when he said "i'm terrified that i might never have met me" and when he said "i forgot my medication, fell into a manic high. spent my savings at a lulu, now i'm suffering in style. why is pain so damn impatient? ain't like it's got a place to be. keeps rushing me" and when he said "if all my life was wasted, i don't mind, i'll watch it go. yeah, it's better to die numb than feel it all" and when he said "i drink till i drown and i smoke till i'm burning" and when he said "collect every dream in these old empty pockets, in hope that i'll need them someday"

and when he said "it's an ode to the hole that i found myself stuck in, a song for the grave that i dug" and when he said "i only tell the truth when i'm sure that i'm lying" and when he said "i would leave if only i could find a reason. i'm mean because i grew up in new england. i got dreams but i can't make myself believe them. spend the rest of my life with what could have been, and i will die in the house that i grew up in. i'm homesick" and when he said "it only falls into place when you're falling to pieces" and when he said "the whole place is quiet. you miss something that you can't place but you can't deny it. don't know whether you want a place in the coast or the country. you can't stay here, it's hard to face and it feels too ugly. you light a fire inside, let it burn" and when he said "with a past box of photos i rip myself open" and when he said "feel the rush of my blood, i'm seventeen again. i am not scared of death, i've got dreams again" and when he said "a minute from home, but i feel so far from it. the death of my dog, the stretch of my skin. it's all washing over me, i'm angry again. the things that i lost here, the people i knew, they got me surrounded for a mile or two" and when he said "my medicine is drowning your perspective out, so i ain't taking any fault" and when he said "i ain't proud of all the punches that i've thrown in the name of someone i no longer know. for the shame of being young, drunk and alone"

and when he said "'son, are you a danger to yourself?' well, fuck that, sir, just let me call. i'll give you my blood alcohol, i'll rot with all the burnouts in the cell. i'll change my faith, i'll kiss the badge. just wait, i swear she'll call me back. 'son, why do you do this to yourself?'" and when he said "i'll turn up the music and i'll forget until it ends that i'm not ready to let go yet" and when he said "i'm in my car and i see the yard, the patch of grass where we buried the dog. and the world makes sense behind a chain-link fence. if i could leave, i would've already left" and when he said "i thought i had something, and that's the same as having something. i get mad at nothing, blame my dad for something. i pull no punches, then feel bad for months. thought i was raised better. tried to fake better, tried to blame weather and escape better. hope the skin heals where the pain enters" and when he said "i saw the end, it looks just like the middle. got a paper and pen and a page with no space. i filled the hole in my head with prescription medication, then forgot how to cry. who am i to complain? and now the pain's different. it still exists, it just escapes different and evades vision. makes the rain different, makes the news boring and my rage distant. yes, i'm young and living dreams, in love with being noticed and afraid of being seen. but i can finally eat and i can fall asleep. it's fine, fine, fine" and when he said "medicate, meditate, swear your soul to jesus. throw a punch, fall in love, give yourself a reason" and when he said "we spent so long just getting by. that's the thing about survival. who the hell, who the hell likes living just to die?"

[andreas-river]

Pairing; Simon Ghost Riley X Fem!Reader, but it's self indulgent.

TW; mention of: depression, insomnia, insults, swearing, domestic violence, bruises, intrusive and self-destructive thoughts, self body shaming, thoughs of suicide, angst, hurt/comfort. (Tell me if I missed any.)

A/N; extremely self indulgent. This is me venting my own pain, so leave while you can.

You don't know if it's supposed to feel that way. You're crying inside, but during the day you have to wear a facade so that everyone else can only see the outside of you, because inside it's a mess.

Your heart aches, beating painfully in your chest, almost like it wants to escape, just like you do.

You want to run away, leave that house full of pain, you can still hear the screams, the tears you managed to cry, the sleepless nights, watching helplessly how the war leaves you in tiny little pieces, like the broken glass on the floor: every single piece would be able to cut the skin, but the shoes you are wearing do not allow it.

You start to wander if it would be better to let go, to drown yourself and leave this world.

Nothing makes sense because you're really alone.

You're really alone while it's three in the morning with a bruise on your arm, your head is pounding and the nausea makes you feel even more sick.

Your mind is twisted and growing more sick, a voice telling you that it's better this way, that love doesn't suit you, that your body is not okay: you're not cool, you're not funny, you'll never know what it feels like to be loved, that falling in love is not for you.

Because you're the tough one, the one who doesn't care, the one who doesn't need anyone but herself.

And you still hear your sister repeat that you're ugly, that you'll be alone forever, that you're a virgin whore who'll never know what it feels like to have sex.

But one thing is true: you don't care.

Not anymore, because you are not there anymore. The windows around you are intact and not broken, the doors are different and the apartment is built differently.

The kitchen is dimly lit, soft footsteps come from behind you as a pair of strong and tattooed arms wrap around your shoulders in a tight grip. You exhale, your eyes finally opening. His voice is a bare whisper in your right ear, but the Mancunian accent is thick and warm.

His brown eyes study yours, still full of tears but without the pain that finally leaves your mind after a long time.

"You're safe, she's not going to hurt you anymore."

[ragingjuggalette]

ANDDDD GUESS WHOS ALIVE? ME!

Anyway, karkat x fem reader (lime.) 1.4k words. Enjoy!

I heard keys loudly jingling at my door, I just continued sinking into my soft bed. I didn't want to deal with reality right now, I knew it was karkat at the door. I gave him house keys a while ago, I trusted that he wouldn't abuse that power and so far he's done well.

Recently I had been dumped, it crushed me. I was extremely close with that person, I didn't think I could love again. I have had my fragile heart broken too many times, I just couldn't risk it again.

Karkat storms in the room, his brows were furrowed and he looked angry, he probably found out I had been broken up with, and he doesn't take my emotions lightly. I hope he doesn't do something stupid. Karkat always does inefficient things when he's angry, which is almost all the time.

You can hear his rant as he walks up to his room, he must be very angry because he's already ranting before he even makes eye contact with you: yikes. Eventually he stormed into your bedroom, and finally shut up. But he looked at you with the 'i know what you did, and it was stupid.' face, knowing he's gonna go on an angry rant, which is no better than kankris, somewhat worse because of karkats addiction to swearing. You braced yourself for some really tough love.

"How the actual FUCK did you manage to get dumped AGAIN." He yells, crossing his arms in an angry manner. You just sigh, you honestly don't know what you did, if you even did anything in the first place.

"Look, I don't know. Just leave me alone, please.." you stutter. Karkat rolls his eyes to the sun before walking closer to you. He tries his best to be comforting and rests his hand on your shoulder. He sighs and looks away, and then gives you a hug for the first time.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you.. you know I care!" He was now crying a little, he really felt bad for raising his voice at you. He squeezes you tight and cries on your shoulder. You were feeling a little better, at least he cared about you. Karkat has always been your best friend, ever since you landed in alternia. He was the best troll you knew.

He gripped your sides as he ugly cried. Jeez, you thought he was here to comfort you. How the tables have turned, not that you were complaining. You loved karkat, you loved him alot. You would never leave him hanging, and now that you're free.. oh you had many ideas on how you would use your 'single' privilege. Oh what to do, what to do.

Karkat, if it isn't obvious.

Truth be it, you have been lusting over the candy blooded troll, shamelessly for months you craved him and his body.. god. The way he gripped you in the tight embrace was tantalizingly enticing. He had stopped crying now. There was a stain on your shoulder, but you didn't mind.

"Thanks for the hug.." he said. You just smiled, half at his face and half at the red stain between his crotch, and you knew it wasn't blood based on his flustered face.

"Karkat, can I tell you something..?" You inquired. He nods and looks curious. You reach out to touch his hair as you tell him the big news. How you loved him

"I.. I love you.. romantically.." you admitted softly, Scratching the back of your neck. He physically gasps and steps back, he thought you were joking. He genuinely thought this was a sick prank, you know the type in primary school when boys would come up to you, say they had a crush on you, then laugh at your reaction? He thought you were pulling that type of prank.

"Do you mean it?" He whispers, looking awestruck. You felt the only way to prove your overwhelming attraction was to kiss him. So you did just that, his face immediately turning a deep cherry red. He looked shocked, but enjoyed it nonetheless. He calmed down and closed his eyes, leaning into the kiss. Eventually wrapping his arms around you, you returned the affection and the scene played out as well as you dreamed it would.

He eventually ends the kiss, gasping for air and panting. His face was still red, and he looked happy for once. This was the first time you had seen him smile, and actually be happy. It was sweet. Very sweet. Karkats blush had faded and now he was looking you in the eye.

"So, are we matesprits?" He asks, tugging on his turtleneck, his voice a little tired and cracked. You didn't know much about troll quadrants, but you thought it was some type of romance thing. Better safe than sorry, you ask him what it is before you accept his offer.

"Uh, what's that? Y'know.. not too savvy with troll lingo.." you chuckle a little. His face went back to red and he breathed in and out before answering.

"It's like a romance thing, like human lovers? Y'know, buying flowers, holding hands, kissing pailing.." his face went instantly red once he mentioned pailing. You now knew he basically meant he wanted to be your boyfriend, but you still had absolutely no clue what 'pailing' was.

"I mean.. of course! But.. what's pailing?" You asked. He started stuttering and fumbling over his words. He seemed to be kind of stumped when trying to explain what the actual fuck pailing was.

"Uh, if it's really that hard to explain.. I'd say I'm more of a visual learner." You said kindly, he just froze for a second. He then took a nice deep breath and grabbed hold of your wrists. This shocked you really, still turned you the fuck on nonetheless.

"If I do anything you don't want me to do, please make me stop.." he looks you into eye once again, clearly emotional. Now you knew for absolute sure what was about to happen, you were ecstatic.

He brings you into the kitchen and bends you over the counter, his breath hitching as he breathed onto your back, He kissed the nape of your neck slowly with passion written into the slow pace of his tongue, gliding slowly. In more a make out way, less of a creepy 'hey this alien is licking your neck' way, despite that being the undeniable context of your current situation.

"I think I'm getting an idea, karkat.. keep going, don't make me wait." You exclaimed. He assured you that he isn't stopping, before he pulls down the hem of your long skirt. His cold, gray fingers started to graze the fabric of your underwear, a short and sweet moan escapes your lips as you immerse yourself in the pleasure. Karkat was sweating, scared he would make a mistake, but his love and lust had taken over, he could care less about the doubts at the back of his head.

He pulled off your underwear and inserted a singular digit within your soaking cunt. You loudly screamed in pleasure, you had explored yourself before but nothing had ever amounted to someone else's touch, especially ones you had been dreaming of for years.

"Sh. Stay quiet, for now." You tried your best, it's really hard to keep your voice down. You scratched the counter top when he added two more digits. Tears spiked your eyelids and you squealed in pleasure.

"What did I say about the volume? You wouldn't disobey your leader, would you?" Seems karkat had gained some sort of confidence. Good, he deserved it. As much as you respected karkat for having the courage to (attempt) to keep all those trolls together in that group insanity built, it's just not easy to keep quiet while getting fingerfucked over a countertop.

"I'm sorry karkat, b-but.." before you can finish the sentence he bites your neck, and hard. Definitely going to leave a scar.

"You won't be addressing me as karkat for the rest of this night. Call me commander, remember that name, it's the one you will scream until the entire neighborhood knows that somebody is getting it on." He says, chuckling to himself. Wow, fingerfucking gives a good confidence boost you guess.

At once you nod, and call him by the preferred nickname. And prepare for a long, long night.

[yourimagines]

hey so I've seen that you've done a nick diaz series gym friends but if u have time or when complete this series can u do a nate diaz series I would really enjoy it if that's okay with you of course love your work

Yup I will, here is the first chapter

Darkness p.1

* English is not my first language I apologise

* Triggers: Swearing, Fluff, angst

- Summary: You moved to your aunt who lives in Stockton because of family issues….

Y/N POV

“Come on darling, let’s get you settled.” She got out of her car and opened the back of the car. I sighed and got out as well. She smiles as gives me one of my bags. “Hello mrs Y/L/N.” Two guys walked out of the house next to hers. “Oh hello, how you guys doing?” “Good and you?” She smiles brightly and wraps an arm around me. “I’m doing good, helping my family, this is Y/N, Y/N they are Nate and Nick Diaz, my neighbours their sons.” I nodded and gave them a small smile. One of them gave me a tiny wave. “Nice to meet you Y/N, but if you excuse us we need to go.” My aunt waved them off. “Of course, tell your mother I said hi.” “We will.” The got in their car and drove off. She smiles and shakes her head. “They are kind but also big trouble makers.” My uncle opens the door and walked up to us. “There you are.” He gave me a quick hug and took the rest of the bags. “Come let’s get inside.” We all three walked inside, ready to decorate my new room.

I was sitting at the kitchen table as my aunt was cooking dinner. “I hope you feel a bit better today, we can go shopping tomorrow for some new clothes and stuff for in your new room.” I nodded at her. “Thank you.” “No darling, don’t thank me. You are always welcome here.” She gave me a quick hug and went on with making dinner. “Are the neighbours here a bit kind?” She smiles and laughs. “Yes they are but I don’t think you should hang out with the two sons from mrs Diaz, they have a bad influence but their daughter Nina is nice.” I slowly nodded. “I will talk to her about it, don’t worry.”

——— a few days later ———

“Hello mrs Y/L/N, is Y/N here?” I heard Nina asking my aunt. “Yes she is… Y/N Nina is here!” I walked downstairs and smiled at her. “Hey.” “Hey, wanna hang out?” I looked at my aunt, she smiled and shrugged her shoulders. “Yeah sure.” I said to Nina, she smiles and we both said goodbye to my aunt. “So what do you wanna do today?” I stuffed my hands in my pockets, shrugging my shoulders. “I don’t know, what do you wanna do?” “We could hang around at my place..” “sure.” We both walked up to her front porch. “We are alone today, no brothers or parents watching us.” She joked as we walked in. “Welcome in houses Diaz.” I looked around as I followed her to the kitchen. “Drink?” “Yes please.” She nods and grabs two glasses a bottle of soda and a bag of chips. “Let’s go to my room.” I followed her upstairs and walked to her room. “Oh that’s the bathroom, toilet, my parents room, and my brothers bedrooms.” She pointed at each door before heading into her room. She placed everything on the ground, threw a blankets and a few pillows on the ground and closed the door ajar. “So you wanna play a game?” “Yeah sure.” We both sat down and got comfy. “Okay I have this funny card game, it’s filled with stupid questions, I think it’s a funny way to get to know each other.” I nodded at her. “Okay let’s play it then.” She smiles and grabbed the cards. “Okay first question…..”

——— afternoon———

Her parents where already back and asked my aunt if I could stay the night because Nina was begging them to let me stay. We were both laughing at each other in her room. We just got dinner and went back upstairs, playing that stupid funny game again. “Okay okay, next one. Do you have a ex, if so show the most ugly picture of them.” Nina snorted and grabbed her phone. “Okay, this picture is… so bad.” She turned her phone and I saw a guy covered in mud. “Is he crying?” She nods and laughs. “Yeah this is an ugly picture.” “I know right.” I placed the card down as she took one for me. As she wanted to read the next one her door swings open, hitting the wall with a bang, we both looked up and saw her brothers standing in the door opening. “Guys!” Nina yelled and pushed them away. “Go, I have a friend over.” They quickly looked at me, I just smiled at them. “Oh shit Nina sorry we didn’t know.” “Out!” She pushed the door closed. “Ugh, why are they like this.” She sat down with a huff. “Okay next question… weirdest turn on.” “Turn on?” She nods and took a sip from her drink. “Uhh I don’t know..” “come on, everyone has them… some people like socks or something.” I looked down at my hands. “ I don’t know.. maybe blood or something.” The last part I whispered at her. “Blood? Like in bruised and stuff?” She asked in a lower voice. “Yeah..” she hummed and gave me the next question.

“Okay girls, don’t make too many noise, y/n you’re comfortable?” Her mother asked me. “Yes thank you.” She smiles and bid us a good night. She softly closed the door ajar. The lights on the hallway went off. Nina and I were both laying in our pyjamas on a mattress on the ground. “There is a possibility that Nate will come in my room to hang out but if you’re not comfortable with that I can turn him away.” “No it’s okay, I’m not tired yet.” She smiles at me. “I only know you for two days but I already see you as a friend.” “Aww Nina, thank you.” I smiled back at her.

The house was completely quiet as we whispered at each other. “Nina?” We heard someone whispering at the door. “Nate?” Nina whispered back. The door slightly opened further and Nate tiptoed inside, carefully closing the door shut. “Can I hang out for awhile? Nick has his girl over.” Nina and I giggled at him. “It’s not funny, please?” We both nodded and he took a seat on the edge. “I don’t think we properly met.” He said to me. “No, I’m Y/N Y/L/N.” “Hi Y/N, I’m Nate Diaz.” Nina giggled at us. “What?” Nate said, she just waved him off. “Nothing.” He rolled his eyes at her and sat back. “Just ignore me, I’m only waiting till he’s done.” I smiled at him as he closed his eyes.

——— the next day———

Nina, her parents and I sat at the kitchen table eating breakfast. Nate, nick and his girl where still sleeping. “So, do you girls have plans today?” “Yes,we are going to the mall.” Nina replied to her parents. “That’s nice.” We both nodded. “Yes I asked Nate if he could bring us because nick has your car.” “Again?” Her father said. “Yeah…” he shook his head. “Well it’s nice of Nate to bring you guys.” Her mother said. As we were speaking about them, Nate walked in. Looking like a mess. “Good morning.” He said with a raspy voice. “Morning sunshine.” His mother sang out. He took a seat next to me. “Is your brother also coming down?” “Yeah but he’s going to bring her back to her house.” His father nodded and stood up as we all heard Nick and his girl walking down the stairs. “I’ll be right back.” He said and disappeared into the living room. Nate reached over the table and grabbed an boiled egg. In the background we heard Nick, talking a bit louder than usual. “No fuck this shit!” And a door slammed shut. Nate closed his eyes for a bit and sighed. Nina didn’t say anything and tried to ignore Nate with his sighing. “So the mall huh.” Her mother said trying to uplift the mood but I didn’t helped as her father walked back in. “I’m so done with him. He’s needs to find a job.” He sat down with a loud puff. Nate stood up and stormed off. “You need a job as well son!” He yelled after him. Nina was embarrassed, she looked down at her plate while her cheeks were red. “Yes the mall, can’t wait to go.” I replied back to her mother with a smile on my face. She lits up and smiles back at me. “Y/N darling tell me more about yourself.”

[how-are-you-true]

Entry 9: Reflections on Homes (2)

I've been yearning to be home since I've moved away. And everyday I'm back, I forget another reason why I'd gone in the first place.

I've been yearning to be home since August. Sunday trips end and begin like the sun has a meeting on monday he just can't miss. Won't you stay a little more? I want to see you from the glass roof door. The one that broke last winter. No, no, it's alright now. The walls are painted too. Won't you stay to talk a little more? I open it and step outside in the bit of balcony that's not really a balcony. It's more like a railing stopping you from walking out the door onto the concrete down below. I push up on it and pray, like every time, that this is not the day it gives out on me. I swear I can still glimpse you, beyond the walnut. Won't you stay a little more, give me a proper goodbye?

How can I hate a place I love so much? It took the shape of its people, warm hearth and cold walls. Sharp corners. Careful, or the mother will mistake your weakness for kindling and you'll be thrown in the furnace when the flame is low. Do not be angry, her father tried throwing her into the fire too, but she looked too much like stone for him to justify it. But you look just right, she can almost call your name for dinner after she closes the latch.

Ugly, ugly girl, don't you see your tears are sickening? The house will welcome you into its walls, nobody needs to know. Cry, you can cry here, with the mice and their tunnels in the roof. Maybe you would be of more use here, what do you say about being a house?

I can feel the mouse crawling his way through my ear. Thank you little guy, this is a much better noise then the one from before. Now that I'm a home, I can begin wondering if mine was ever sad for the people that lived in her too. Oh, how much better does it feel to be a home. I'm doing my job. It is no longer to sooth you. You're hurt. It can no longer be me that needs to sooth you. I am a house, I am doing my job.

Ugly, ugly girl, don't you know your tears are sickening? How come I never saw them before I was a house? No matter, you can come into my walls. You can cry with the mice, maybe you'll be of more use here. Let the man be alone. He'll be too buisy to notice you've gone, for a while. And when he'll ask his questions to the air, let it answer him with the silence he deserves.

You do not come into the walls, of course. You cannot. The man calls to the house ugly, ugly names. The woman leaves. The man calls to the woman ugly, ugly names. The woman tells him to leave. I am doing my job. I step out. I am doing my job. The father does not listen. He does not stop. I am doing my job. The mother cannot accept to be soothed. I am doing my job, I do it way more poorly when I am not a house.

I've never felt this safe. I've never felt this unsafe. I've never felt this home.

[lovelastart]

Mercenary/Albus Headcanon (Grimoire of Zero)

What if, when Albus was imprisoned by Thirteen, she was beaten up by the guards who hated witches.

It is late and Albus is restless. Tomorrow will be her public execution, the one that took her grandma's life away, and people would be cheering. Ugh, how absurd that people were actually cheering on another people that were burned alive. Albus never understood the joy that made their eyes sparkle, to see other poor people screaming in pain.

Albus knew that the death caused by fire would be painful. In fact, it was the most cruel death penalty ever received, because you would feel pain soaring through your whole skin, but you couldn't escape. You only could scream while praying that the death would take your life quickly. It was cruel to make someone suffer at their last moment.

But, she knew that it was just another fate of being a witch. Loathed by mere humans, hunted by beastfallens. Sometimes, Albus felt tremendous loneliness, both when she was a witch in the safe house with other witches, and when she acted human in her town, playing with the dog and receiving food from the kind-hearted aunt. She has purposes, she has visions, she wouldn't budge from what she believed.

Then again, she didn't feel safe.

She was, once. When her world was so peaceful with her grandma and Holdem. When she didn't have to worry about tomorrow and she didn't have to disguise herself.

Now, she had enough. She didn't want another victim, she didn't want another war and people burned on the stakes and the despair of losing the loved ones.

That steel motivation would stop her from crying in the dark corner alone, and instead, she would move her feet and go forward.

She had to be strong, with all the rejections she received, she still had to be strong.

Even when she found out that she was never considered as a friend by her new friends. That time, another hole appeared in her heart.

But she wouldn't back down. She wouldn't bend her values just because death awaited her. She preferred to die carrying her will than to abandon what she came for.

So, here she is, crouching inside a damp, dark cell, just waiting for her death tomorrow.

Someone, several people, came into the dungeon.

"Ah! Here is the pathetic ugly witch!!"

"Wow, how pitiful!! She would die just like her grandma!"

"What a loser!"

Here they bashes her and her grandma, again. Normally, Albus would lose her temper and shout back at them. But, tonight, she doesn't feel like fighting them. It is useless, they're probably drunk.

Then, a clank sound, and the cage door is opened.

"Hey!! Do you hear us??!!" one of the drunk guards approached the crouching little witch. Albus doesn't have to answer to them.

Instantly, Albus sees blur around her, and she feels her arm is pulled roughly. She falls on the stone floor because that guard forcefully pulled her away and threw her off.

"Hey!!" Albus shouts back at them.

"She will die tomorrow, right?!"

"So we can avenge our dead families that the witches murdered, right?!!"

"You evil witch!! You deserve to suffer and die!!"

"Go to hell and rot!! AHAHAHAHA!!"

The way those drunk guards swear on Albus makes her scared. She couldn't say anything regarding to their families that were massacred by the witches. It was something out of her control.

"That's why!! I'll fight for peace! Humans will live together peacefully with witches!! I have to--"

A hit land on her right cheek, she was thrown back and her head hit the tiles hard.

"Cut the bullshit, witch!!" Another kick on her stomach.

"'Live peacefully', as if!!" Another kick on her right leg.

"Witches deserve to die!!" Another kick on her head. Albus was thrown back again that she rolled and hit the stone wall.

Albus was too busy coughing blood and breathing heavily. She groans when someone pulls her short hair.

The guards didn't stop badmouthing her while bashing her head on the wall several times. Albus screams in pain and wants to call for help, but she remembers that she is alone.

So, she just accepts her fate, being their punching bag for the night. No one will save her, though.

---------------------------------------------------

"That brat!!!" Mercenary runs through the crowd and climb the highest building around, hoping to any deity that it's not the brat being executed today.

He arrives late, because the stake is raised, the fire is already burning and the smoke is so thick that the punished witch is covered in white. Mercenary can't hear the weak coughs inside the smoke because the crowd cheers loudly.

"That's the young lady!! Mercenary, the one they're burning is the young lady!!!" Holdem suddenly freaks out beside him, "please save her!!!"

---------------------------------------------------

They manage to escape.

They manage to hide from the guards. Mercenary is cooking a soup and Holdem is tending his young lady.

The white tiger is calmly stirring his soup while suddenly a large rock splits in two and Holdem screams his lung out.

"Holdem!! What happens?! You slashed the rock in a sudden!!"

"I will find them and kill whoever did this to young lady!!" A streak of tears glints in the moonlight.

Mercenary is stunned. He crouches beside the sleeping little witch, and his eyes widened.

In front of him, there are a lot of large bruises covering the small body. Some of them are clear marks of boots soles and large hands. Around her neck, on her stomach, waist, back, thighs. There is dried blood stain on her hair, too.

Mercenary gently stroke the young girl's swollen bruised cheek. She has a black eye.

He didn't notice her wounds because they were too busy running.

Now, Mercenary has never felt this much hatred towards those lowly humans and the desire to massacre them.

But, for tonight, he will let Albus sleep on his lap.

[la-lauren]

I was watching my friend and her fiancé on the couch talking about their honeymoon plans, and I could feel ~the feelings~ about to overflow again, so I asked my friend if I could steal her older daughter and just go explore. She agreed, as did the daughter, and we just wandered Walmart. She got to use the electric scooter chair because of her back, and she really enjoyed that. At one point, I noticed she has the same mole on her face in the same spot as me.

I also walked with her and her younger sister to the gas station today, and the cashier called me their momma. That stung because a part of me still wishes so badly that I could be a mom.

I feel so alive when I’m caring for children. I swear nannying would have been my career if my body hadn’t had other plans. I adored it.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the current living situation and how it’s so weird that I live here with them anyway. But then I remembered Full House and how that seemed so cool that they all lived together, and the older daughter made it known that she wanted me to move in before I did, so obviously I wasn’t alone in thinking that as a kid. Like I have been wanted here.

I wrote earlier that I’ve been on the verge of tears the past few weeks, but now I can pinpoint when it started. It started Christmas Day when my friend got engaged. I’ve been emotionally fragile ever since, even though I thought I cried it all out that same night. I ugly cried that night. Heaving, slobber, the whole nine yards. You’d think my friend died or something.

I think I am subconsciously and now consciously continuing to mourn this friendship as their marriage inches closer.

I worry that I’m clinging to Sophie more than I might have been now for that reason alone. Almost like a rebound even though I’ve never dated the friend I live with.

And you know what? I’ve done an amazing job all these years compartmentalizing our friendship so that I would never see her as more than a friend. Having such a strong negative reaction to her getting married though has me wondering how bad it might have been if I hadn’t compartmentalized all these years. Like, dang.

I really wish I had a therapist to talk this through with. It’s hitting harder and in such an unexpected way. I need help processing it.

There were several times today I wanted to ask my friend for a hug. I didn’t because we don’t hug. I can count on one hand the number of times we’ve hugged since we’ve known each other. And it’s been 15 years.

I settled for asking the 3 year old for a hug, and it did help a little. I only asked her for a hug though because she was crying about something else and I wanted to distract her. Mutual aid, ya know. 🥺

[lune-de-miel-au-paradis]

Thank you for the tag dear @nobody-expects-the-inquisitorius 💖

(Somehow I can't copy in the questions so I just gonna answear them sorry. )

1. Im an INFJ. I don't know what is Enneagram is (can somebody tell me pls?) But I know Im the Maiden archetype, a Virgo sun, and Ravenclaw house.

2. Okay so Im terrified of diving. I have a lisence tough, but I havent drived in two years. I know, Im a coward, but I just don't trust other drivers. Since my best friend in school had a horrible accident.

But you can always dream so If I had the courrage and the money I would like a Mercedes G class for travel and for little earrands I always wanted a light blue Mini cooper.

3. Dreamer. Artsy. Shy. Insecure. Versatile.

4. Okay my husband always gives me comfort so his like a safe place to be around for me. But lf I need some alone time it's definetly in nature where I found peace. My garden, a near flowerfield, my reading place lake, and the seaside with extra salty air. And of course books, and bookshops, and libraryies.

5. " Wise souls speak loudly in silence."

(I know it's not five but who are you to judge?!

Okay fine, my people pleasing ass gonna give you this one: "While I live, I dream."

Happy?)

6. Kind hearted and gentle friend. Loyal. No lies no drama, no shit talking. Understanding. And no judgeing. Who'm I share a lot of interests. Funny, witty but not mean. Someone who encourages me to be braver and gently helps me to not always be in my comfort zone. Respect the boundaries. Who waits for me if I need to tie my shoelace. Freespirited and interesting. Clewer and openminden but not a smartypants. Who gives a shoulder when I need one to cry and also cheers with me when someting good happens. Plant and pet lover.

But I don't mind if they dont have kids. (The amount of time Im listening to mama's talking about their babys. I mean they cute, and someday I like one too, but If Im gonna hear another anecdote about some cute little thing they did I swear Im gonna puke.)

7. Argh hard question. There are so many things.:

When people notice the little things about me, or remembers something I said or liked. Who gifts annotated books (guys you are magic!) When I can share some cool chat about interests and they gets it, or even the inside joke too. When someone is able to make they persons a safe place. ( You know the no judge, no talking ower back, no false advice giver.) When I feel understood and appreciated.

And nature! A seaside, a sunset, a little flower that reminds me, how small I am in the universe and that there is so much joy and beauty and art is life.

Also the smell of books, rain, and freshly washed linen.

My husbands hug when I feel lost, or anxiousy or ugly. 💖

And all of Monet's paintings. When I saw thw water lilies first I cried in the museum. It just touched my soul.

NPT: @rain-on-kamino @stardustbee @eloquentmoon @metalatl @knightprincess @ilovestarwarsmen725 @mandos-mind-trick

And everyone who want to play 💖

Random fun questions to answer, then tag your buddies!

What is your personality type? (Enneagram or Meyers-Briggs or DISC or whatever you like!)

What car would you like to own, if money were no issue?

Describe your high school self in five words?

What environment is your favorite and makes you feel most at home? A coffee shop, a forest, the Swiss mountains, home with friends, etc?

Describe your perspective on life in five words?

Which traits would make up the ideal best friend for you and why?

What is something in life that you get a disproportionate delight from?

[biribaa]

I’m crying your write for stray- I’m in love Ty Ty 4 blessing me 😭 anyway could I get a momo comforting a reader with fluff? I had a shit day yesterday but ur writings just brought my mood up 100% <3(also idc what the reader is upset/mad about I’ll let u choose!)

More Momo conforting reader<33

AAAA IM SO HAPPY IT HELPED YOU!!

You see, this is the main reason for my oneshots, most of the time i write x readers when i'm really stressed and/or depressed, so i write cute scenarios of my F/O, or characters who are not rlly my F/O but are the F/O of my followers, and i have a cool sncenario for they, so i write it and post it, and then make people happy :]]

Im srry it took too long for answear, but i swear i'll make it worth it

Knock knock knock

You slammed your fist on Momo's door, you didn't even needed to knock, you could rest your head on the door right there. You were so tired, you didn't have the strength to move anymore, not even the mentality to think and every sigh you took only exhausted your lungs, you're so done today.

And the darkness around didn't help, the sky that was and always will be a "night with stars" only influenced you more and more to rest now.

The door opened only for your eyes to hurt from the yellow light from inside the robot house. And there, was a silhouette you could always recognize

"Well well wellI, you finally decided to show up, i was starting to get worried you know?"

"Yeah"

You walked inside Momo's house, every move was a scream asking for any kind of comfort to ease your stress, anything, you would accept anything now. So, seeing that the sofa was occupied with Momo's boxes, you moved straight to Momo's bed, you didn't take off your coat or shoes, nothing, you just threw your body that looked more like a corpse onto the fabric. Your face was not visible now that it's directly over the comfort, you blocked the sides of your head with your arms, preventing any ray of light to annoy you.

Well you know Momo is no idiot, he clearly noticed these details in your behavior, normally when you come back you smile and hug him, but today, only that? Did he do something you didn't like? Is he not being enough? Did someone hurt you?

"Hey" A voice echoed through the small room, it was Momo's. "You fine?"

You groaned in response, Christ, you didn't even have the energy to speak. You slightly turned your head until you could poke an eye out of your arms and see Momo standing in front of you, he was curling his fingers over his other fingers, it was a gesture he usually made, it was usually when he was nervous...

You wanted help, you wanted comfort from your boyfriend, to feel his metallic skin on your flesh skin, and listen to his advice as he pats you on the back. But at the same time, what if he doesn't understand? You are afraid, afraid of facing another disappointment with a person, afraid of interaction.

"I..." Words couldn't come out of your mouth, what were supposed to be words, just sounded like grunts.

"Shh." He placed his hand on your exhausted back, drawing circles that comforted your shoulders "You know what, I can see in your face how exhausted and tired you are, and you look ugly when exhausted, i hate to see you ugly. If you want, you don't have to talk about it, okay?" Momo said in a calm tone while looking into your eyes. As you stared with dead fish, dismayed and lifeless eyed, you slowly turned your face into your arms.

"I do not deserve you." You confessed, your humiliating tone hit Momo

"I should be saying this, Y/N." It was the last thing Momo said before you heard his footsteps slowly going away.

You gain enough silence to think about the whole situation, and silence enough to appreciate it. You didn't have any kind of misunderstanding with Momo, none of him getting stressed, or him being an asshole to you, there's no reason for you to be anxious around him. Momo actually understands you, and understands when you want to be alone, and understand when you're going to need him, was he really the best thing that happened to you since you came here?

All these thoughts made you tired... That's when you noticed for a brief second how your shoes were already bothering you, then, looking like an adult just out of a 10-hour shift, you took off your shoes with your own toes, it was even an easy and simple action.

It was a matter of minutes before you noticed a sign of life coming from Momo. You immediately noticed a pleasant food smell, and seconds later, a sound of a cymbal hitting wood, your attention is easily caught. You lifted your head, and on Momo's desk, you saw a warm plate duo the baked potatoes inside it.

"But you said–"

"Doc had some extra potatoes in his greenery and gave it to me." And again, Momo stroked your back gently. "Now do me a quick favor and get up, I want to do something." You, already being more than happy today for all your boyfriend's help, thought that you could do this minimum to reciprocate. You removed your arms that were around your head and lifted your body, placing your feet on the floor and getting up from the bed, waiting for Momo to do some kind of action after that

Momo climbed onto the bed and leaned his back against the wall as he sat up. He spread his legs, and looked at you, patting the empty space between his legs. You quickly understood the gesture, and got your knees up on the bed and crawled up to Momo until you could sit between his legs, and use Momo's entire torso as a backrest. The robot put one arm around your waist, and used the free hand to pick up the plate full of food and give it to you. Now he could put both arms around her waist

Your cheeks turned slightly pink, and you couldn't hold back your sweet smile. With all that, you easily felt safe, especially since Momo was slightly taller than you, and, well, obviously more resistant. You were amazed how such cold skin from a robot made your face so warm and your stomach full of butterflies. Woah, wait, so all this time you've never gotten along with anyone because they're human? And maybe you do better with robots? Damn bro.

You took one of the baked potatoes and put it in your mouth, it was perfect, for a robot that had spent years without human interaction, Momo cooked very well. The potato warmed every corner of the cold interior of your mouth, it was satisfactory. Without hesitation, you started biting the rest of the potatoes on the plate.

While you were eating, Momo clasped his arms around your waist. "Everything is fine now?" The machine questioned

"Yes." You hummed "Thank you so much Momo, seriously..."

"I'm always here when you're stressed, 'kay?" Momo gently placed his screen over your shoulder "Chu..." He simulated a kiss

———

Ok

I'll be honest, I don't feel like I liked this oneshot very much... I feel like I could have done more, but I didn't have any more ideas, I promise I gave my effort :)

[heisamarvelouspersona]

Childs Play - Modern AU

summary: honestly just a sh!tty little oneshot ab the gang watching a horror movie w reader lmao. couple hints to a relationship between Arthur & reader. could just be a friendship tho. I've never written an AU before so i really hope i keep everyone in character <3

(also ik the chucky movies arent scary like at all but the thought of john and sean arguing over who looks more like the scarred-faced ginger killer doll made me giggle)

"oi Marston, he's got a mug almost as ugly as yours!"

"me? im not the one with the unruly carrot top. thats the real horror here,"

Sean and John continue to joke and yell over the film, in a feeble attempt to act less scared, makes it hard to believe them when theyre both clutched to Lenny and Abigail like little kids on their first day of school. Sean had orignially been cowering behind Karen (though he swore he was protecting her from the totally fictional horror movie) until she had become fed up with his whining and slapped him upside the head. "ruining the goddamn movie with your muttering," she had mumbled, leaving poor young Lenny to comfort the redhead alone.

Her decision to seat herself on the (what she thought to be) more mature of the two couch groups, alongside yourself, Arthur, Molly, Dutch and Hosea, had proven to be the wrong choice - trading in dumb and dumbers crys and whines for Dutches painful, painful, old man movie talk

"So who sent the doll to the house then?"

"we dont know Dutch,"

"Now who's bowl has the poison in it?"

"we dont know Dutch, thats the point."

"Now that Husbands gonna get caught with the nanny, its obvious. such bad writing,"

"...oh...it was the wife,"

Molly has her head in her hand, finding herself envying the helpless dead victims from the movie, who dont have to listen to her partners consistent rambling. Hosea and Arthur have both grown accustomed to this by now, seemingly fully immersed in the film as if there were no distractions.

you feel an eager tap on your leg,

"hey y/n - is this the one with the crazy doll porn?"

you lean down from the couch to the floor where Javier is sat, with his body turned to you, but his eyes still fully focused on the film infront of him.

"no, no. thats 'seed of chucky' this is 'curse of chucky',"

a mix of both disappointed mutters a sighs of relief come from the floor group, comprising of Javier, Charles, Sean (who has now been quite literally kicked off the couch by Lenny), Trelawney, and Uncle.

There were a total of six 'groups' during VDL gang movie nights. the two couch groups - comprised of those who could, and those who couldn't behave. the floor group, the dining table group - which was mostly just Mary-Beth gushing over the romantic undertones of every film, Ms Grimshaw, Pearson and Strauss - drinking red wine in the kitchen and chatting shit, and finally Micah - who is usually kicked out of the living room, to make sure that he wasn't "getting any ideas", as Arthur would put it.

By this point, everyone who wasn't talking or scared shitless was slowly falling asleep, Abigail somehow snoozing through Johns constant complaints. Arthurs eyes were lidded shut, his head leaning back. you nudge him every few minutes,

"yknow you can go rest - dont have to sit through this shitshow with the rest of us,"

"no, no, I'm just restin' my eyes is all," he'd swear.

"can't quite leave you to watch this scary picture all by yourself now can i?"

You couldn't help but chuckle at his old-man excuse for having his eyes closed, rolling your eyes at him, you accept his answer. You both know you aren't the type to get scared by a cheap slasher flick, but you were endeared by his supposed reasoning.

The film was coming to an end now and even Dutch had quietened down now, an arm around molly and his face plastered with a triumphant grin - he had successfully guessed the ending to the film, like he so often did. There was popcorn scattered over the floor (and mostly in Charles' hair) from Seans failed attempt at starting a food fight.

John had gotten over his fears (lectured by Abigail during the snack break about how getting scared of a Doll would set a bad example for Jack) he was now totally hyping up the film, muttering Chuckys one-liners under his breath and laughing to himself over it.

Charles inched toward the DVD player, case in hand as he dejected the disc that was playing.

"Are we putting on the next one?"

no. you were absolutely not.

A/N: i didnt know how to end this. honestly this is mostly just self indulgence bc i desperately miss watching horror movies w big groups of people </3. might make a part 2?

[helliontherapscallion]

Safe

Pairing: SBI family x reader (platonic, one shot), BASED OFF FROM CHARACTERS NOT ACTUAL PEOPLE

Warnings: child abuse/neglect, bullying, alcoholism, death of a parent, mentions of panic attacks, injury, mentions of a dog’s death, mentions of eating disorders, mentions of suicide attempts, depression

Word count: 7,730

(A/N): if you’re not feeling safe at home or are being abused, please contact the proper authorities. Here’s the abuse hotline: 1-800-799-7233, my DMs are always open if you want to talk 

You met Tommy and Tubbo when you were in third grade. You were a relatively quiet kid, the type to always keep to themselves and abstain from social activity. Mrs. Jansen, being the nice woman that she was, let the entire class choose their own seats.

“Welcome to your first day of third grade, class! I’m Mrs. Jansen and I look forward to getting to know all of you. As you can see, there are enough desks for all of you. You may sit with who you want.”

You shifted around uneasily and gripped your book in your hands as your classmates hurried to get the back seats. After every seat was taken, you walked to the only seat left in the front. You were between a girl and a boy. They introduced themselves as Dorothy and Samuel, and were relatively kind to you. 

As the class passed their second week, two boys that sat in the back row made themselves apparent very quickly. They were both rambunctious, always disrupting the class with their giggles and whispers. Mrs. Jansen had warned them multiple times that she was going to separate them, but it seemed that they didn’t think she’d do it. One day, she finally had enough.

“Tommy, Tubbo. I’ve given you plenty of warnings, I’m going to have to separate you. Dorothy, Samuel, can you please switch places with them?”

You could feel dread wash over you. Why was she putting you between them?! What did you do wrong to deserve this? You could swear that you’ve done all your chores, you even made your mom smile at you! She never did that. 

They pouted as they sat next to you, Tommy on your right and Tubbo on your left. You already missed Samuel and Dorothy. “Thank you. (Y/n), make sure they behave.”

You shrunk down into your seat as you felt Tommy’s glare burning holes into the side of your head. Tubbo, on the other hand, was watching the lesson with bored eyes and  his chin propped up in his hand. You tried to take notes, but you kept getting distracted by Tommy’s heated glare. You were going to fall behind, you couldn’t have that. Mama wouldn’t like that. 

After the final bell rang, you hurried out of the classroom to avoid Tommy’s wrath. You could hear him shouting for you to stop, but you never stopped until your hand was grabbed and yanked backwards in the empty playground. You fell back onto the pavement of the basketball court and whimpered at the sting in your palms. 

Tommy glared down at you, “you gonna cry? Serves you right. Never tell on Tubbo and I. Got it?”

You tearfully nodded and he grinned maliciously at you, “good. Tubbo, let’s go. Wil and Tech’s probably waiting for us.”

The brunet was staring at Tommy with a shocked expression, unmoving. Tommy rolled his eyes and huffed before he grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the crowd of families. Tubbo looked back at you with an apologetic expression and watched as you looked at your scratched up palms. 

You wiped at your tears as you stood up and started to walk home. Your neighbor’s dog behind the wired fence barked at you as you hurried past it. You never liked that dog; it was a drooling, angry, ugly furball. It scared you, but not as much as Mama did when she drank her adult juice. She was scary when she drank it. You tried hiding it from her once but she grounded you from eating dinner and snacks for half a month. You didn’t try to hide it again. 

You trudged up the creaky wooden stairs of your porch and tried to open the door only to find it locked. You tried to knock on the door but Mama didn’t answer so you just sat on the front porch waiting for her to open the door. She did so when the sun was setting, surprise and then anger shining through her hazy eyes. She yelled at you before she sent you to your room for the night without dinner.

The next day when you were sitting alone at a lunch table, someone plopped down in the seat next to you. You jumped and scooted away from them, looking up only to see Tubbo. He was smiling at you.

“Hey, I’m really sorry about Tommy, he gets mad easily.”

You eyed him warily and clutched your open book, “...it’s okay.”

He grinned and scooted closer to you, peering over your shoulder at the book. “What’re you reading?”

“‘Harry Potter’.”

“Oh I love that book! My favorite character’s Ron, who’s yours?”

Surprisingly, the conversation was pleasant before he was dragged away by a glaring Tommy. You might actually make a friend after all. Later that day after school, Tommy once again stopped you in the school yard. This time, he shoved you to the ground and started to shout at you. 

“You do not talk to him, freak! You’re gonna mess him up, he talks to me and me only. Do you unde-undastunend?”

You gulped and shakily spoke up, “yes, and it’s ‘understand’, not ‘undastunend’.”

His glare intensified before he reared back a fist. You yelped as you curled into a ball with your hands protecting your head. Before he could hit you, you heard the stomping of shoes against the concrete.

“TOMMY STOP.”

You could feel a hand on your back and a gentle voice asking if you were alright. You hesitated before you looked up to see an older boy with a mop of curly brown hair on his head and wire glasses perched on the bridge of his nose. He reminded you of Harry Potter. Looking past him, you saw a tall pink haired boy glaring and lecturing Tommy, holding the struggling boy in place with a firm grip on his elbow. Tubbo was just behind him looking down and shifting on the balls of his feet.

“I am so sorry about Tommy, are you alright? He didn’t hit you did he?”

You shook your head and the boy heaved a sigh of relief, “that’s good. I’m Wilbur and that’s Technoblade, we’re Tommy and Tubbo’s brothers. What’s your name?”

“(Y/n).”

He smiled at you, “that’s a lovely name.”

“Wilbur, let’s go. This one,” Technoblade shook Tommy’s arm, “needs to talk to Dad.”

You watched as Tommy’s movements stopped and he looked up with wide eyes. “No, please don’t tell Dad. Please-” 

Wilbur stood and helped you up before grabbing Tubbo’s hand and lead him away, “you aren’t weaseling your way out of this.”

You watched the brothers leave, feeling guilt wash over you. You didn’t want to get him in trouble, punishments were the absolute worst. Even though he shoved you and almost punched you, he didn’t deserve any punishment. With guilt weighing down on your shoulders, you walked home. At least Mama was in a good mood, she made you some mac n cheese for dinner. 

The next day, Tommy trudged up to your desk and put a tupperware dish on your desk before sitting down in his seat and ignored you. Tubbo sat in his seat next to you and smiled at you.

“Open it,” he jumped in his seat slightly as he watched your expression change to shock. In the container laid five chocolate chip cookies. You had only had cookies once in your life and that was during a class birthday celebration a year ago. “They’re our Dad’s secret recipe, I helped make them! Um, Tommy wanted to apologize to you.”

You glanced at Tommy. He was glancing at you over his shoulder and blushed a bright red when he saw you looking at him. Tubbo cleared his throat and gestured at Tommy. The blond crossed his arms and looked off to the side. “Sorry,” he mumbled halfheartedly. 

After that, they started to sit next to you during lunch. Tommy was a bit cold towards you, but you found yourself beginning to relax around Tubbo’s friendly aura. Soon enough, you started to supply him with more than a few words per sentence. Tommy eventually got bored of eating in silence and would join your conversation. You three became thick as thieves that year, you even met their Dad. He was very different from Mama; he never yelled at you, he was always giving you snacks, and he even smiled at you often. 

That house became like a second home to you. Eventually, you ended up spending more time at the Minecraft residence than you spent at home with your mom. Over the years, she got worse with her drinking. She was always passed out on the couch and when she wasn’t, she was swaying on her feet in the kitchen staring at a portrait with dazed, wistful eyes. You can remember when you first realized that she had a problem and always being unhappy and drunk was, in fact, not normal for a parent. 

It was a warm spring day in seventh grade. Luckily, you had your health class with Tommy and Tubbo. You were currently learning about alcohol dependency and the effects it had on the body. The teacher listed all the symptoms your mom had; the uncontrollable urge to drink, the aggression, the shakiness and dizziness, everything. When you came to the realization that your mother might have a problem, the teacher started to explain the disorders and diseases that could come from heavy drinking, most of them having the potential to be fatal if the drinking persisted. You felt like you were drenched in icy water as your body seized up in fear for your mother. You stared unseeingly at your notebook at the symptoms of alcoholism and associated disorders. You didn’t want your mom to die. You had to do something before it was too late for her.

“(Y/n)?” You jumped and looked at the person who called your name. Tommy and Tubbo were giving you worried stares. “Are you okay?”

You shakily started to put your supplies away into your backpack. The class had been dismissed and you didn’t even realize it. “Y-yeah. It’s just- I’m worried.”

“Yeah, I’m worried too,” Tommy laughed as you followed the two out of the classroom and to the courtyard. “That essay’s gonna be awful.”

“Oh god we have an essay?”

“Yeah, Mr. Smithers assigned it to us before the bell rang, are you sure you’re okay? You’re usually on top of this stuff.” Tubbo threw a worried glance towards you.

“Yeah, just a bit distracted today. I uh, have to go home. Like right now, my mom wants me home right after school today.”

You sprinted off towards your house. When you reached your neighborhood and ran past the wired fence. The bulldog that lived there was now old and gray. You found out that his name was Buster and he was actually a total sweetheart if you slept next to him on the other side of the fence on more than one occasion. Buster watched from inside his doghouse as you sprinted into the house. Luckily for you, the door was unlocked and your mother was passed out on the couch surrounded by glass bottles. You locked the door behind you as you rushed over to her intensely watching for any sign of movement. She looked dead, her skin was pale, her hair matted, and her mouth gaping open showing off her yellow stained teeth. She wasn’t moving, were you too late?

Just as you started to panic, she snorted and started to breathe. You slumped in relief as you stepped over the beer bottles into the kitchen. The table was sparkly clean with a pristine picture frame resting in the middle, a stark contrast of the beer bottles that littered the floor and the piles of dirty dishes in the sink. It was of a man standing stiffly in a military uniform saluting at the camera with a stern expression. He was an exact copy of you. Well, you were an exact copy of him; that man was your late father.

“Hey Dad, how was your day? Mine was awful, I learned about alcoholism and cirrhosis today and- and I’m worried about Mom. She’s been drinking a lot lately.”

You stared at your dad’s face behind the glass as if expecting a response. You wanted some reassurance from the man. You wanted him to tell you everything was going to be okay and that he’d handle it so you could be a normal kid. Like usual, his steely expression didn’t budge one bit. 

You sighed to yourself sadly and trudged to the refrigerator opening the door. The beer bottles stared back at you tauntingly. Your fingers twitched on the fridge door as you contemplated the consequences of throwing away the offending glass bottles. You remembered in second grade when you hid your mother’s alcohol she punished you by withholding food from you. She’d probably do worse this time, but the consequences were worth it if you were going to save your mother’s life. 

It took you ten minutes of tossing alcohol into the garbage can until the fridge was left barren of the drink. Without the green bottles, the fridge was completely empty with the exception of milk and a few probably rotten eggs. You struggled to take the trash out to the curb and started to work on homework in your room. 

At seven at night, you could hear her roll off the couch and stumble into the kitchen. A series of frantic rustling and banging sounded downstairs before you could hear pounding footsteps storm up the stairs. Your door flung open to reveal your red-faced, livid mother. 

“What the fuck did you do?”

“M-mom I hid them because we learned about alcoholism and cirrhosis and-” You cut yourself off when she walked over to you with her arms extended towards your trembling frame. You tried to scoot as far away from her as possible, but she grabbed your shoulders with clammy but firm hands, shaking you roughly.

“Are you saying I have a problem?! You spoiled fucking brat, you’re the problem! Everything was amazing before you came and fucked up my life. You took him away from me. YOU FUCKING KILLED MY HUSBAND.”

You could feel tears start to drip down your cheeks as you remembered that day in first grade when you begged your dad to get you some McDonalds for dinner. When he relented, you cheered and your mom laughed at your excitement. She was so full of life back then; her hair was shiny and bouncy, her skin was unmarked and flawless, her eyes were lively and bright. Her laughter was perhaps your favorite memory of her. Then everything went to shit when your dad never came home and your mom got a phone call saying that your dad was killed in a car wreck on impact. You could remember your mother’s heart wrenching sobs as she collapsed to the floor and pulled you tight against her body. As if she was trying to protect what was left of her husband.

You were snapped back to reality when your mom shoved you back onto your bed. The happy, beautiful woman that you saw was replaced by the shell of a broken woman. Her silky hair turned dull, her smile turned into a grotesque scowl, her loving eyes turned cold. She truly was a husk of her former self. 

“Stop crying, you’re not the one who’s life was ruined. I want you out of my house in ten minutes. You’re gonna not step foot anywhere near here for two weeks. If I even see you on my property before those two weeks are up, you’re fucking dead.”

You frantically nodded and watched as she stumbled out of her room. You packed what you would need in your spare backpack and ran out of the house past your mother sobbing and babbling incoherently to your dad. You flinched when you could hear a bang and the sound of glass shattering when she threw a bottle at your retreating figure. 

You ran until you couldn’t run anymore. Your legs brought you to the park where you spent most of your childhood. Everywhere you looked, you could see glimpses of your mom and dad pushing you on the swing, Tommy and Tubbo running from you playing tag, Mr. Minecraft putting a bandaid on your scraped knee. Tears streaked down your cheeks as you pushed yourself up and went to your safe place. It was a little nook deep in the vegetation where nobody could see you. You originally found this place when you were playing hide and seek with Tommy and Tubbo. They never knew where you hid.

Tears moistened the soil underneath you as you pulled out a blanket you had hid in a plastic grocery bag and spread it out on the floor. You curled up on it and cried freely into your hands. You didn’t sleep much that night. 

That was the first time she had kicked you out for that long. You barely ate in those two weeks, wolfing down any food you could get your hands on at lunch. Lunch for you was the small scraps of food that Tommy and Tubbo shared with you. Mom never packed you lunches or gave you money to buy things anymore. To make matters worse, they had told their dad that they thought you had some form of eating disorder. 

About a week into your exile, you finally visited the Minecraft residence after avoiding them for a week. You remembered how the blond man pulled you aside into the kitchen. He gently sat you down and pushed a plate full of chicken and vegetables in front of you. You looked at him confused as he gestured towards the plate.

“Eat that, I heard you haven’t been eating much lately.” When you made no move to eat, he smiled at you. “Go ahead, it’s okay if you don’t eat it all. Just eat some of it.”

That was all you needed to hear, you began to eat quickly like a starving wolf. It’s been a while since you had more than half an apple to eat, let alone an actual homemade meal. When you were done, you looked up to see the older man looking at you worriedly. 

“...Are you not getting enough food at home?”

You scrambled to find a lie, “my- my mom is away a lot on business trips. We don’t really eat much.”

His worried expression grew tenfold as he moved to kneel in front of you and put his hands on your shoulders. “You need to eat three meals a day, especially now that you’re growing. You’re always welcome here when your mom’s away, our door’s always open. Is she away now?”

“Yeah, she won’t be home until next week.” You felt bad for lying to the man that put bandaids on your scraped knees and took you to the father daughter dance in fifth grade when he heard that your dad was dead. He was always so kind to you, which you never quite understood. Despite feeling bad for lying to him, you felt incredibly relieved that you didn’t have to be alone anymore. 

From then on out whenever she kicked you out, you went to the Minecraft residence. They welcomed you with open arms and treated you like you were a part of the family. You and Techno bonded over your love for reading and mythology, Wilbur made sure you took care of yourself, and Philza (he told you to just call him Phil at that point) treated you like his own child. You didn’t think that it was possible for you, Tommy, and Tubbo to be any closer than you already were, but you three became inseparable. You told them everything one night when you couldn’t sleep. You told them how you felt like you were the cause of your mother’s decline and your dad’s death, how she would usually punish you, her ‘hobby’. They were about to tell Philza, but you begged them not to. After a while of pleading and assuring them that she’d never hit you, they hesitantly agreed and made you promise to call them whenever you felt unsafe in your home. 

You kept to that promise, calling them whenever she would get too drunk to know what she was doing. They would calm you down from panic attacks late at night and invite you to their house in the daytime. They felt like your actual brothers and you started to refer to them as such. You three gave each other a shoulder to lean on and gave each other comfort when needed. One night when you were in your freshman year, however, your mother caught you sneaking out to see them after she sent you to your room. That was when she started to hit you.

Just as you were about to sneak out the front door, your mother started to scream at you incoherently. When you flinched away from when she got up in your face, she became even more enraged. 

“WHERE WERE YOU GOING? I BET YOU’RE WHORING YOURSELF OUT, AREN’T YOU LITTLE SLUT?”

Without thinking, you yelled back at her, “I would never! Why-” You were cut off by a harsh slap to the cheek sending you to the ground. She quieted down and stared at you and her hand, a glint of shock shining through her dazed eyes. Without a word, she turned around and left to go talk to your dad. You sat there listening to her rant about how she failed as a mother, how she wanted to do better but she didn’t know how, how she wished that he was there with her. You scrambled up and ran to your room. You looked at yourself in the mirror, there was a bright red mark on your cheek in the shape of a hand. There was a small cut where her wedding ring connected with your cheek. A single drop of blood dripped down your cheek and curved down the dip of your chin before dripping onto your shirt. Without doing anything else, you plopped down onto your bed and sobbed into your pillow, crying yourself to sleep.

When you woke up in the morning, you realized that you slept through half of the school day so it was useless to go to school now. You reached up to run a hand down your face only to hiss and pull your hand away. You once again looked at yourself in the mirror.

You looked terrible. Your eyes were bloodshot and swollen like you were crying in your sleep. Hair was sticking up in all directions and matted slightly. The slap mark was gone, but the cut had bruising around the edges with dried blood crusted on your cheek and on your pillow. It was a small cut, but it bled a surprising amount overnight. You couldn’t see Tommy or Tubbo like this, they’d flip out. Luckily for you it was a Friday and you had the weekend to heal. 

Your mother gradually started to hit you more and more. It started off as a once-a-week thing whenever she was really angry, but then it divulged into something that would happen daily over the smallest things. You became her punching bag for her to release some steam. Makeup became your best friend at that point; you used what little savings you saved over the years for dollar store makeup.

Soon after it became a struggle to hide the cuts and bruises from Tommy and Tubbo, so you gradually started to avoid them. Your face, once synonymous with the Minecraft residence and Tommy and Tubbo, became a rarity. They tried their hardest to contact you, but you always dodged their calls. After a few months of you dodging Tommy and Tubbo, you finally told them that you didn’t want to be friends with them anymore. 

It broke your heart to say it, but it had to be done. They were getting too close to the truth and you couldn’t have that; the government would take you away from your mom and she’d end up dead. You were the only one keeping her alive at this point, she lost all motivation to eat. The only thing she did nowadays was hit you, drink, and hug your dad’s photo to her chest. 

The beatings got to the point where you could barely walk without feeling pain. School became something that you’d rarely attend. Tommy and Tubbo stopped trying to talk to and call you. Buster, your previous confidant, had long since died so you were truly alone in the world. The neighbor’s yard looked barren without the dog house and the graying dog. The only person you had left was your mom. 

When you had accidentally burnt dinner late at night, she completely snapped. She grabbed your arm and held it on top of the burner. Pain hit you immediately as you screamed and cried apologies to her. When you instinctively hit her with your other hand, she dug her nails into your arm and pushed your arm closer onto the burner. Nerve endings screamed at you to get away from the pain. The pain was becoming too much, so you looked on the countertop next to you for something to defend yourself with. A metal fork was lying close to your other hand. 

You grabbed it and, with a distraught apology to your mother, drove the prongs deep into her arm. She screamed in pain and let your arm go. You ripped yourself out of her grasp and started to run for the front door. A force collided with the back of your shoulder making pain explode in the area. You didn’t know what happened at first, but after hearing the shattering of glass, you realized that she threw a beer bottle at you. You could feel the sting of alcohol and glass mingling with your open wounds on your shoulder. The sting was almost as bad as your arm, but you didn’t stop running especially when you glanced behind you to see her running at you with a knife raised and the fork protruding from her arm.

You flung open the door and sprinted out without bothering to close the door behind you. As your bare feet hit the sidewalk, you could hear your mother stop at the end of the stairs and shout at you to come back. You never stopped.

You didn’t stop until your feet took you to the Minecraft residence’s front door. Nobody was on the street as it was about eleven at night. You hesitated to knock on their door, you ignored the family for the past six months, and you weren’t sure if they even wanted you there. After five minutes of thinking, you just sighed as you walked back down the wooden stairs and walked back towards the sidewalk.

“(Y/n), what are you doing here?” You froze up at Tommy’s sleep riddled voice. You stayed frozen as you heard him stomp over to you. He placed a firm hand on your injured shoulder and forced you to turn around. His angry expression faded into a concerned one when he heard you start to sob and flinch away from him. 

“Wha- shit are you bleeding?” You nodded slightly and he gently turned you back around to see a patch of darkened cloth on your shirt. You could feel him shaking as he grabbed your arm and pulled you into the house. He plopped you at the dining room table and told you to wait there. With that, he sprinted up the stairs and brought back a serious Philza holding a first aid kit. 

When he saw you bruised and battered, you could hear him take in a sharp intake of breath and saw unbridled anger flash across his face. You flinched away from him when he approached you. 

“Hey,” he said in a gentle voice, “I won’t hurt you. Can you show me where you’re hurt?” 

You eyed him warily like a scared wild animal and reluctantly moved your burned arm away from your chest and showed it to him. This was the first time you saw your forearm; it was an ugly red that expanded up the majority of the underside of your forearm with skin burned off at the edges. Yellow, fluid-filled blisters were starting to form. 

You could hear Tommy’s horrified gasp as he turned to run out of the room. You kept your gaze downwards as Philza warned you that he was about to put disinfectant on your wound. He apologized to you when you whimpered in pain at the sting of the alcohol on your exposed nerves. After he was finished wrapping your arm, he asked you to show him where else you’re injured. You turned around so he could see the growing patch of blood staining your now ripped shirt. You could feel him gently move your shirt to the side and heard him wince. 

“Shit, there’s glass in here. I’m going to have to get some tweezers to get it out. Stay here, I’ll be right back.” You were then alone in the kitchen for a moment before he came back with a worried Wilbur and Techno in tow. The brunet pulled up a chair next to you and asked if it was alright to hold your hand. After you hesitantly nodded, he grabbed your hand and started to run his thumb over your knuckles. Techno held a light close to your shoulder as Philza started to tweeze out the green tinted glass from your shoulder. 

Every time you would suck in air through your teeth and muffle your yelps with your other hand, Wilbur would whisper reassurances to you and hold your hand tighter. After the glass was out, the wound was disinfected, and wrapped in gauze, Philza told the boys to leave the room. He grabbed both of your hands and gave you the best reassuring smile that he could.

“Tell me what happened.”

You swallowed the lump in your throat as you felt tears well up in your eyes, “I tried Phil, I really did. She never got better no matter what I did.”

“What do you mean, are you talking about your mom?” You could hear the angry undertone of his voice. You tensed up and nodded.

“She… she needs help. She was never the same after Dad died, she started drinking. It started off with only one beer a day, but after seventh grade she was going through an entire case in a day. She’d punish me if I said or did anything about it. No dinner for a week was a popular one until she started to ban me from the house for weeks on end. She never went on business trips, Phil. She got a knife today. I-I thought she was actually gonna kill me this time, I was so scared.”

Without another word, he pulled you into a tight hug, letting you sob freely into his shoulder. “It was my fault, I couldn’t help her! She- she needed me and I couldn’t help her.” You said between sobs. He hugged you tighter and started to rub your back, making sure to avoid your shoulder. “None of this is your fault, you can’t help someone if they don’t want help. Sometimes you can’t fix someone who’s too far gone.”

“Am I too far gone?”

“No, you aren’t. We’ll help you through this, we won’t let anybody hurt you ever again. You’re gonna go on to live a good life.” You passed out in his arms after a while of crying. 

When you woke up, you were in Tommy and Tubbo’s room. The two boys jumped to your side and pulled you into a tight group hug. After you tried to apologize to them for how you treated them in the past six months, they shushed you and just sat there in silence hugging you. 

Later that day you found out that your mother was found by your neighbor on the front porch with her wrists slit and empty beer bottles surrounding her. She was breathing, but just barely. Currently she was in an unstable condition in the hospital. You had a full breakdown when you found out that she almost killed herself because of you. You had run out of the house and to your safe place in the park. You hadn’t been there in a few years, so you hoped that it was still there. 

Sure enough, it was still there albeit a bit overgrown. The blanket in the plastic bag was in the same place where you left it. You had no idea how long you were sitting there crying and having a panic attack, but when you came to your senses it was dark outside. You could hear crickets chirping and the rustling of leaves in the entrance of your hideout.

A brunet head poked itself in and smiled when he saw you. Tubbo fully came into the nook and gestured for someone to follow. Tommy’s blond hair made itself apparent before he joined you two inside.

“Nice little place you have here. It’s… homey.” Tubbo rubbed his hands together and blew warm air on them. You threw one side of the blanket at him and pulled your knees up to your chest. “Thanks, I used to sleep here sometimes… How’d you find me?”

“We could hear you,” Tommy pulled out his phone and typed something on it before pocketing it and sitting next to you. He covered himself with the blanket as Tubbo followed suit. You sat in silence before Tommy broke it. 

“How long has she been hittin you?”

“Tommy!” Tubbo scolded him.

“She started about six months ago.”

“Six months ago… that was when you cancelled plans! I knew something was wrong Tubbo.”

Tubbo said nothing as he looked at you with a helpless expression. Just as he was about to open his mouth, you interrupted him. “It’s not your fault. It’s mine. Everything’s my fault. I’m the reason my mom’s in the hospital right now fighting for her life. I wasn’t there for her.” You would’ve started crying if it weren’t for the fact that you just felt so drained and numb.

“The fuck do you mean? She was about to kill you! You told us that she was about to stab you, what else were you supposed to do, just let her kill you?!” Tommy exclaimed.

You shrugged, “maybe. If she did she’d be happy, I was just a burden to her. I- I just wanted her to be happy and I would never be able to do that as long as I’m alive. If she killed me she wouldn’t be in the hospital right now.”

“What the fuck (y/n),” Tubbo shouted, startling you. He never shouts, let alone swears. “How could you even say that? I don’t know what I’d do without you, everything would be so boring and nothing would be the same without you. Fuck her happiness, she’s a wretched woman if the only way she can be happy is when you’re dead. Fuck her.”

You and Tommy stared at the seething boy in shock. He never shouted when he was angry, he only did that once when he found out that Tommy was being bullied. Whenever he sweared, that’s when you knew his emotions were hitting him at full force. Tommy quickly recovered from his shock to join him, “yeah fuck her, man! She can go suck a dick.” He was interrupted by his phone buzzing.

“Dad’s here, c’mon he’s worried sick about you.” After they helped you out of your safe place, they both wrapped an arm around your shoulders and walked you to the parking lot. You could see the headlights of the lone car in the lot turn off before the door swung open and a figure rushed towards you. You pushed yourself behind Tommy and Tubbo and hid behind them fearfully. They both turned around and put a hand on your shoulders. “It’s okay, it’s our dad.”

You peeked over their shoulders and saw a mop of disheveled, long blond hair. Philza looked like he was just told that there was an antidote for a fatal poison he just ingested, despite the flash of hurt that showed on his face. His blue eyes were accentuated by the redness of his sclera and you can see the relief painted in them. A gentle smile was on his face as he moved his arms up. Without another word, you launched yourself at him and pulled him into the tightest hug you could manage with your shoulder.

“Are your accusations true, Mx. (L/n)?” 

Your gaze flickered over to your mother sitting on the other side of the courtroom. She looked at you with no expression on her face. Her wrists were wrapped tightly in a white bandage that was a stark contrast to the bright orange prison uniform and the silver of the handcuffs. She wasn’t the woman you knew when your dad was alive. The life was sucked out of her the second she picked up that phone call.

You looked back at the lawyer, “yes sir.”

“I have no further questions, your honor.”

“You may return to your seat, Mx. (L/N).”

You stood up and walked as confidently as you could past the dull eyes of your mother and back to your seat between Tommy and Tubbo. You held their hands tightly as the trial moved onwards. Buster’s owner even stepped up to the witness stand to give his testimony. Apparently he knew about the abuse from your late night conversations with Buster. He had contacted CPS and the police multiple times but the case was always dropped for some reason that you couldn’t bring yourself to ponder. A few of your previous teachers even showed up to give their testimonies. Their words, though true and slightly sweet, rubbed you the wrong way. If they ‘knew something was happening at home with you’, then why didn’t they do anything when it was happening? You tried to focus on the rest of the trial. 

Your mother’s only witness was herself, and she did a piss poor job at it. She was basically digging her own grave with every word that came out of her mouth. The entire time, she was staring at you with her infamous dull eyes. 

“Do you have any further points you would like to add, Mrs. (L/n)?”

“Yes, I have always loved my child. They were my husband’s pride and joy, the splitting image of him. Their rightful place is safe with their real parent at our home.”

You could feel Tommy attempt to stand up, but you pulled him back down; now was not the time for him to start yelling in anger. Tubbo squeezed your hand in reassurance and glanced at you. You were staring at the woman you called your mother with pain and hate filled eyes. You wished her words were sincere, but you knew fully well that they weren’t. The words that left her mouth would’ve been one hundred percent true  and genuine when your dad was still alive, but he’s buried six feet under in a military cemetary now and he has been for years. You would’ve given anything, even your own life, for those words to be true a month ago, but you knew better now. Mothers don’t treat their kids like this, they’re supposed to give their children their unconditional love and take care of them. As far as you were concerned, she was no longer your mother. She forfeited that title the second she turned to the bottle. Philza is and will always be more of a parental figure than she’ll ever be. 

After the jury left to discuss, the court was in a recess. You slipped out of the room and speed walked to the bathroom. You looked at yourself in the mirror. You could see heavy eye bags under your dull eyes. The dullness of your eyes, to your horror, reminded you of your mother, so you splashed your face with water. That fixed it, your eyes were slightly brighter. You could still see the faint outline of the scar on your cheek from when she first hit you. Small scars littered your face from the more recent wounds she gave you before you ran.

A knock sounded at the door, “(y/n), the recess is almost over.” It was Techno.

You patted your face dry and went to leave the bathroom. The pink haired boy that you now saw as your older brother was waiting patiently for you on the other side. He put a gentle hand on your shoulder and led you back to the courtroom. There, the rest of the Minec- no, your family was waiting for you. Just as you reached them, the judge announced that the jurors would be arriving back. The entire courtroom stood as they walked in.

“Have you reached a verdict?” The judge asked.

“We have.”

“Mrs. (L/n) and Mr. Langsburg, would you stand and face the jury? You may read the verdict.”

“We the jury of the state court find the defendant guilty under the charges of child abuse and child neglect.”

Tommy clapped a hand on your shoulder as Tubbo squeezed your hand. They both smiled widely at you. You, however, didn’t acknowledge them. You were only staring at the empty eyes of your mother as she was looking at the jury. Her reaction was akin to her breaking a pencil, like it didn’t matter to her. Like all the years abuse that she put you through didn’t matter was as trivial as breaking a pencil. 

“So say you all?”

“Yes, your honor.” 

“I hereby sentence Mrs. (L/n) to twelve years in the state penitentiary with no opportunity of parole. Mr. Philza Minecraft shall be bestowed the custody of Mx. (Y/n) (l/n) as they do not have any next of kin. Court is adjourned.” With that, she banged the gavel and the courtroom exploded in the bustling of people. You never took your eyes off from your mo- no, the monster with the dull eyes as she picked at something in her nails boredly. Just as she looked up to meet your gaze, Tommy pulled you into a tight hug, lifting you off the ground slightly. You were passed around the family in the courtroom for their individual hugs. Philza’s was comforting, Tubbo’s was congratulatory, Wilbur’s was warm, and Techno’s was slightly awkward, yet soft. 

At home, you spent most of your time in the spare room Philza had given you. He had offered to help you decorate it, but you had no idea where to start. You were never allowed to have decorations in your old room. You kept the room simplistic and your possessions light. 

You often stared at your dad’s portrait on your nightstand wondering what your life could’ve been like if you never asked him for McDonalds that day. Your family probably would’ve been stationed in who knows where and moved around often, as is customary in most military families. You probably would’ve never met Tommy and Tubbo in third grade. You probably would’ve never met your now older brothers and new father. You didn’t want to imagine a life without them. 

After a few days of you being locked up in your room, Tommy and Tubbo came into your room with mischievous grins. You knew them like the back of your hand, so you knew the second you saw their faces that they were about to do something. You sat up and looked at them suspiciously. 

“What are you doing?”

“We’re not doing anything, (y/n). Right Tubbo?”

“Right Tommy.” Tubbo nodded curtly. They still had grins on their faces. They walked over to your bed before they picked you up and walked you out of the room. You didn’t have the energy to fight them, so you laid limp in their arms. They eventually took you down to the living room and plopped you down onto the couch between them. Techno tossed them a blanket when they then used to wrap you tightly into a blanket burrito. The home screen of Disney Plus was pulled up on the TV and the curtains were drawn. Philza and Wilbur exited the kitchen with glasses of water and two big bowls of popcorn.

They smiled widely when they saw you squashed between your brothers, putting a bowl of popcorn in your lap and three glasses of water nearby. The two next to you dug into the popcorn as the rest of the family made themselves comfortable on the couch. 

“What are we doing?”

“Movie night! We’re gonna binge the Marvel movies, your favorite!” Tubbo grinned at you, practically bouncing in his seat.

“Just double checking, the order is Captain America, Captain Marvel, Iron Mans One and Two, Incredible Hulk, Avengers, Thor-”

You cut Wilbur off with a mumbled “first Thor, then the first Avengers movie.”

“Glad I asked then! The timeline would’ve been thrown off.” 

As the movies progressed, you started to finally feel like you belonged as a part of the family. Laughter came easier to you, mingling effortlessly with the family’s laughter. Every time you laughed at a scene, they would give you a smile and laugh alongside you. Eventually after about halfway through Captain America: The Winter Soldier, everyone had fallen asleep on the couch. Soft snores and the quiet sounds of the occasional fight scene filled the room as your eyelids started to close involuntarily. You looked around the room at the rest of your family. They all looked peaceful in their slumber. Tommy and Tubbo’s protective hold of their arms around your shoulders made you feel safe. It was in that moment that you realized that they would never let anyone hurt you ever again. You were a part of an actual, loving family. With that, you let yourself fall asleep into a peaceful slumber surrounded by the people that loved you the most. 

General taglist:

@crybabyjabby  @izzybobizzy13  @goldenstarofthunderclan  @bunnyz-pxstel  @averytiredfanfictionwriter  @dcml04  @sparkling-gayyyy  @bbigbbrainn  @thaticecreambish  @kiinokochii  @satansphatass  @bxkubitch  @bxmentchildxx  @roxy3457  @montygator17  @feverish-dove  @the-fictionwriters-hairdo  @jichuuchaeng

[orchid3a]

ANIMALS - B. KEISUKE

synopsis: You love his toothy grin

pairing: Baji Keisuke x f!reader

tw: hurt no comfort, angst, tokyo revengers manga and anime spoilers (valhalla arc), mentions of death, blood, violence, swearing

wc: 611 words

tagging: @haitaniapologist @sincerelyraylene @etheralyonn @ningstar @hanmascult @eriskaitto 

for the request click here!

sfw taglist click here to join!

note: missing baji and i’m sorry but i need to hurt myself <3 

no proofreading

english isn’t my native language

reblogs and comments are appreciated

Meeting Baji Keisuke was like a thunderstorm during summer, he was a hurricane of energy and adrenaline. 

You were six when you met him, in the little park near your house and you always admired him. He was loud, energetic but always smiling. You liked his grin the most, it gave you a warm feeling in your body and you liked seeing him from afar.

It was a coincidence meeting him, you were playing alone in the sandbox when suddenly a ball destroyed your sand castle. Tears threatening to spill you turned to the culprit ready to teach him a lesson. Said culprit was the boy you admired since you first saw him, Baji Keisuke.

“Sorry for the castle, but it was ugly so don’t cry! Let’s play together!”

You pouted at his insult but his toothy grin made you giggle, wiping your eyes with your sleeve and you followed him.

Since that day you two became inseparable, you were attached to each other's hips. Where Baji was, you were with him and vice versa.

Your time was usually spent between playing or petting all the stray cats that Baji knew, you could understand why they always let him near them. Baji was warmer than anything else, his heart was so full of love and ready to share it with anyone.

Your relationship changed through the years, slowly becoming more solid and friendship turned in something more. Love.

Despite becoming his girlfriend, Keisuke never changed his behavior towards you and he always treated you with the utmost care and love. His toothy grin widens whenever he sees you and his hugs are always warm.

You know everything about him, the sin he bears with Kazutora and how guilty he is but you don’t care. You will always be there for him and with your arms open to welcome him. To love him and care for him like you always did.

The thing you love the most about him is his smile, his adorable smile so similar to that of a cute cat. And Keisuke will never confess it but he loves it when you kiss his cheeks and cup them. He would burn the world for you, he just needs a word.

“Kei, can we get peyoung yakisoba? I’m so hungry and you made me wait hours!”

“Sorry (y/n), but Mikey wouldn’t let the meeting finish. We’re going to fight a gang for Pah-chin.”

“Eh? Pah-chin is hurt?”

“No, they did something to his friend’s girlfriend.”

You understand from his tone that something bad happened, you hugged him from behind nuzzling your cheek against his uniform.

“Now let’s go! I need to buy some cat food, you remember that white cat? She is pregnant and needs more food.”

You nod and take his hand, making him grin and you two go away. Blissfully unaware of what would happen a few weeks later.

You knew that Kei was in a gang and despite knowing he was strong, you always feared that something would happen to him. You always told him to not be too careless or he would get hurt. 

“(y/n) I’m the strongest and I can take on 100 men if I want.”

“You big idiot…I’m worried, I don’t like seeing you hurt.”

“I’m invincible, don’t worry. I’m just like animals, too strong and invincible.”

You laughed and pinched his cheek, making him grin at your reaction.

If Keisuke was so strong and invincible like he always said to you, then why is he lying between Chifuyu’s arms? Why is his beautiful face pale and cold? Why are tears running over your cheeks? Why did he leave you alone?

[wallflowerimagines]

Hi! I looove your posts! Thank you so much for sharing your writing!

I was wondering… could you maybe write about the Four Lords with a shy S/O that gets bold and defensive when someone insults the lords? or calls them names? And the Lord’s reaction to the S/O acting different? Dk if im explaining myself >.<

Again! Love your work! Have a great day!

We stan protective partners on this blog!!

Warnings: uh...insults? They're pretty over the top😅 Also swearing.

Alcina Dimitrescu

Honestly, Alcina is more than able to defend herself.

She's got a tongue like a viper, and the thickest skin imaginable. If you really want to hurt her feelings, you have to be someone whom she already respects to a certain degree, or she won't even be phased.

Still, when she leaves a room, there's always some idiot that thinks it's a smart idea to talk shit.

Maybe it's a maid, maybe it's a guest in the Castle, but either way you're not having it.

"God, you're annoying." There was a pause before they opened their mouth again, and you rolled your eyes. "No please, by all means, continue to share your lack of taste with the rest of us."

You disassemble this dumbass, starting small with comments about their personality (trying to keep it classy), but escalating the more they choose to double down on the comments.

Alcina comes back into the room to find you practically screaming at this asshole.

"Look, all you have accomplished here today is revealing that you are a fundamental disappointment on every possible level. My life is worse now that I've heard you open your mouth, you disrespectful, shit licking worm fucker."

Alcina is stunned. You do not give off "aggressive guard dog" vibes at all, yet here you are defending her tooth and nail. While she had seen brief moments of your inner strength and protective streak (mostly towards her daughters) she just...never thought you would do the same for her.

It's not because she doesn't trust you or love you! But nobody has ever done something like this for her before? Ever? She's never had anyone try to protect her--not physically, and not even verbally. She's been so independent for so long that it's... Strange to see you support her so openly.

She doesn't need you to do this for her, she doesn't even expect it, but you do it anyway for no other reason than the fact that you love her. You want people to give her the respect she deserves.

I'm going to be real here: Alcina has never been closer to swooning before in her life. You're overcoming your shyness because you believe in her so much-- it's not a gesture meant to be romantic, but Alcina can't help but see this as a massive statement of your commitment to her.

Seriously. This is such a massive thing for her that if proposals weren't already on her mind, she is mentally picking out a ring for you the minute this happens.

Then, of course, she glides into the room, kisses you until you're breathless and babbling, and smirks at the unfortunate peon who thought they could get away with insulting House Dimitrescu.

She's in such a good mood that she's considering going easy on the idiot. Maybe removing their tongue would be enough of a warning?

Donna Dimitrescu

You don't really know how it's possible but apparently some people don't like Donna Beneviento? Some people think she's scary and unpleasant????

Wild. Can't imagine what that's like.

The two of you are honestly the sweetest, most toothrottingly adorable couple-- blushing when you hold each other's hands, sneaking glances at each other across rooms, giving each other kisses and forgetting whatever was on your mind...

Honestly, anybody who's critical of your relationship with your girlfriend is just a hater. Fuckers can pound sand😤

Still, you are pretty shy, so it takes a lot for you to defend yourself if someone comments about you. It can take a lot of courage to stand up against rude remarks, and sometimes it's easier to walk away.

Defending Donna, on the other hand?

The minute someone even thinks about dismissing her, you are ready to throw hands.

"My lovely girlfriend already said no, meaning you're either deaf or too stupid to pick up on simple social cues," you purse your lips and give the rude and pushy Villager a patronizing once over. "You and your opinion are equally useless. Get the fuck away from us."

Donna blinks.

She... Was not expecting this??? At all?? You're so nice! You always tell her about your attempts to avoid confrontation! What's going on??? How did you get the guts to say what she's always wanted to say?

Meanwhile, Angie is LIVING.

The little doll chimes in to assist you with the verbal homicide, working as a tag team to absolutely murder this moron. She's half partner, half hype man, and is so excited to do this with you. Normally, she has to protect Donna all by herself, but she's relieved and reassured that you stepped in first.

'USELESS IS TOO NICE, THOUGH! THAT IMPLIES THEY AREN'T A POINTLESS, RANCID, LONELY FREAK. THEY LOOK LIKE THEY CRY WHEN THEY MASTURBATE.'

You high five Angie, still glaring daggers at the unfortunate villager.

The two of you continue to ream into the villager, while Donna hovers nearby.

As surprised as she is, she's also grateful. She's only really ever had Angie to help shield her from insults and disrespect (and occasionally inducing horrifying hallucinations that make people claw off their own skin), but having you in her corner makes her feel safe.

Not to get totally sappy, but you're like her knight in shining armor in a lot of ways. And the fact you two are so similar is really motivating-- She wants to one day be confident enough to return the favor. Until then, she's happy to watch her two favorite people have fun insulting some stranger ❤️

Salvatore Moreau

With you being so shy, Salvatore is surprised how often he takes the lead in your relationship.

He's not normally all that outgoing, but you seem to bring out a side of him that's very protective. Whenever you have a bad day he wants to bundle you up and keep you safe from the world.

If he so much as holds your hand you start stuttering and avert your gaze. It creates a feedback loop where you both get flustered, but Moreau has never felt steadier. Despite your shyness, you make sure he knows how much you love him.

You're sweet as pie and twice as kind--Salvatore is the luckiest man in the world, nobody can convince him otherwise 💕💕

So it comes as a total shock that when a passing fisherman spits in your path and calls him a freak, your entire demeanor does a 180.

Your posture straightens and you look the villager dead in the eye, "I don't believe anyone asked your opinion."

Salvatore: ����

This is not the time, and he totally knows it, but, uh, something about your tone??? Really does it for him???

While he's attempting to process why exactly he's starting to short circuit, you proceed to verbally shred this person to bits with clinical efficiency-- nothing is off limits.

They might try to defend themselves, but it's useless. You do not let up.

"Ugly? Monster? Bitch your teeth are throwing gang signs, don't throw stones from your shining glass house."

You insult their appearance, what they're holding, their smell-- you get so fucking mean that you might even make them cry.

Moreau is just lost right now, trying hard to figure out how exactly you were able to gain all of this confidence so quickly.

He's not upset! In fact he's very flattered! But, he also doesn't want you to get into a fight with some unimportant stranger. (After all, if they so much as throw a punch, they're straight up dead. Moreau is a patient man, but he's not that patient. You do not hurt his partner and live to tell the tale.)

He may a healer but...

Eventually he steps between you and the fisherman in an attempt to deescalate the situation, but you just kiss him on the cheek and step around him, determined to make your point.

Blushing hard, Moreau lets you do what you want. What can he say? Fish man likes himself a protective partner 💞

Karl Heisenberg

Magnet Man is not the most social guy to begin with, so any opportunities you have to stick up for him are already pretty slim.

He mostly knows you as the shy, sweet, easily flustered partner that lets out a cute squeak every time he sneaks up to hug you from behind.

Karl's honestly happy just to spend time with you all alone in the Factory. It's not the best or healthiest mindset, but he'd be perfectly content to only ever see you for the rest of his life. Spending time with anybody else feels like a boring waste in comparison.

But occasionally, you do head out into town with him. Heisenberg wants you to be safe so he doesn't do it often, but running errands with you is a weakness of his. It's domestic in a way that he's never experienced before.

He likes it ❤️

What he does not like is the shopkeeper starting to give their opinions on the quality of your relationship with him.

Most insults Karl will let slide because he doesn't particularly care. However if anyone makes a comment on how scared (shy) you look around him, how you must be being threatened into being with him, how poorly Lord Heisenberg is treating you...he won't stand for it.

But before his fingers can even twitch towards his hammer, you snap.

"You're clearly the blindest cocksucker I've ever met--so wipe the cum out of eyes and mind your own fucking business."

Karl does a double take.

He's heard you curse before, but quietly. The words coming out of your mouth are WILD right now, he has NEVER seen you so angry. You're defending him with the aggression of a wild animal, and it's simultaneously HILARIOUS, but for some reason he's also getting a warm fuzzy feeling in his chest?

He doesn't need you to protect him like this, but seeing you blatantly argue how much you love and cherish him in public reassures him in a way he didn't know he needed.

Still, hearing you call the shopkeeper "shit for brains" is the funniest thing that's happened in years.

Heisenberg starts laughing, and the more you shout at the idiot, the harder he laughs. Is it weird how hard he wants to kiss you right now?

Eventually, he just has to drag you away, cackling as you continue to shout insults at the unfortunate shopkeep. There's got to be an alley around here for some good old fashioned privacy 💕

[goosedawn]

ghosts of the past

this is my piece for the mcyt g/t exchange! @leyfaire (tumblr wont let me tag you for some reason :'D,,)

i ended up writing a bit for this as well so that (plus some other drawings) are all under the cut! i hope you enjoy! 💛

tw: canon typical swearing, very brief mention of a past panic attack

He thinks he's haunted.

I can work with that.

Holding back laughter as he continued to listen in on the conversation, Tommy let his mind wander, settling in against the stack of books and papers.

He had gotten pretty lucky with this human. Forgetful, a little messy, very fun to fuck with. Recently he had taken to setting random items close to the edge of shelves and letting the human's footsteps do the work.

Sometimes it didn't even require the human to interfere. The last one he had set up seemed to have fallen down on its own. A smirk spread across his face as he thought about that particularly ugly flowerpot being shattered.

Tommy never touched anything too precious of Ranboo's. Not after that one time when he had hidden the human's journal and found him panicked and crying on the floor a couple hours later. Tommy had shakily shoved it out from under the couch, sending some other item to the floor in order to get Ranboo's attention.

The relief apparent on Ranboo's face when he found the journal was enough for Tommy to vow he would never mess with it again.

Eyebrows furrowing he picked at the newly darned sleeve of his sweater, contemplating his "pranks". He had started them as an attempt to get the human to move out, to leave him alone in the house again.

Summer was meant to be quiet- autumn and winter were reserved for the soft man who feeds the crows and the intimidating pink haired man who likes to read.

Spring was for the curly haired singer with the guitar and sometimes if Tommy's lucky, the lady who likes baking. Spring is also when his brother comes to visit, helping him darn his clothes and fixing up routes around the house.

Summer was his time. Just him and the fading memories of a human boy with a toothy smile missing a few teeth, framed by dark hair. Bangs barely covering eyes full of wonder, looking back at Tommy, who's equally curious gaze stared right back.

He's having fun messing with Ranboo now though. Perhaps the most fun since he's had since the boy left.

Tommy sighs, tuning back into the conversation again, a melancholy feeling settling in his chest as Ranboob (ha!) and… T… Tubbo? finish up their conversation. The name rests on his tongue for a moment, and he rolls its syllables under his breath. It seems… familiar somehow. Tommy shrugs. It's not like he would ever meet them anyway.

"So you're coming over tomorrow then?"

Ah, shit.

"Tubbo!"

He is shaken out of his sleepy reverie by the frantic voice of Ranboo, one hand pressed white-knuckled into the bedsheets as the other shook Tubbo awake. Half remembered dreams of bright summer mornings and mischief lingering still as he slowly comes to.

"Mwuh-?"

"I-I heard something in the kitchen- I think-" The boy kneeling beside him looks back over his shoulder, eyes darting around the darkened room as he lowers his voice to a whisper.

"-I think it's the ghost." With a sigh, Tubbo forces himself out of bed, pushing Ranboos face away with a grunt as he drags his other hand over his own face.

It was barely a week into his stay and he too had witnessed firsthand the effects of the "ghost".

At first it was the weird scratching noises that echoed through the vents of the old house. Then came the whispering at night, interspersed by soft, mournful cries. Static interference when they went to watch TV or play games online. These occurrences were easy enough to brush off as mice or raccoons messing with things, but when the writing in stolen spaghetti sauce started, it was a little harder to deny something was going on.

So, like the good friend he is, Tubbo motions for Ranboo to get behind him as makes his way towards the kitchen. The summers he spent in this house pay off as he tiptoes across the floorboards, stepping carefully as to avoid the creakier ones and directing Ranboo to do the same.

Moonlight streaks through the kitchen window, illuminating the dining table that sits to the side of the room. A small, dark shadow shifts on the tabletop, something glinting silver as it messes with some of the papers spread across the surface.

Ranboo tenses beside him, glancing back and forth between the shadow and Tubbo, wringing his hands as he slips back behind the wall.

The creature (ghost?) hadn't noticed them just yet, so Tubbo hoped to take it by surprise and maybe trap it. Glancing around the kitchen he spots an empty glass that had gone unused earlier that day, grabbing it before quickly bringing it down over the shadowy creature.

"I've got it Ranboo!"

With that, Tubbo lifts his hand away from the glass slowly, careful not to jostle the tiny creature underneath.

As his eyes adjust further to the pale moonlight, he is reminded of a time long ago that had slipped into his dreams that night and every night prior. For so long he had brushed those memories aside, simply pinning it as another story his wild imagination had fostered while on vacation. Because now, with what looks to be a small person trapped under a glass, he finds those memories to be a lot more plausible.

-----

He was SCREWED. Swearing to himself under his breath, Tommy slams his shoulder against the side of the glass again, steadfastly ignoring the human still hovering over him.

"You don't look like a ghost."

"I'll make you into a ghost if you don't let me OUT." He snarls, throwing himself at the glass once more.

"I'll let you out if you agree not to run."

"Don't tell me what to do bitch!"

"I can wait here all night. I just want to know why you've been harassing my friend." The human stares down at him, arms crossed.

Tommy huffs, swallowing thickly as the reality of the situation begins to sink in. He's trapped.

"Fine." He sits down slowly, never taking his eyes off of the human as he crosses his legs and lets his hand rest on his pin. It's not much but it will do the job and he can try make a getaway if the human tries anything.

The human's hand returns to remove the glass and as it comes closer Tommy does NOT flinch. He is a BIG MAN and he is not scared at all. The human however, notices the small movement, and pauses, hand hovering over the glass for a moment.

"You gonna let me out or what?!"

Beyond the glass Tommy sees the human frown, and he grins. The glass is removed from above him and so is any barrier between him and the human. He takes in a shaky breath, running his hand over his sash, the cool beads and soft thread one of the few constants in his life. 

The human opens his mouth as if to say something, but catches sight of the sash and freezes instead, blinking owlishly as he looks over the green braid for a moment.

"You're real."

Something about the soft disbelief that in the human's voice gives Tommy a burst of bravery, and he stands up and addresses the human towering over him with a scowl.

"Of course I'm real, dickhead! What, we've been talking for the last few minutes-"

"I- Tommy- don't you remember me?"

"Wh-wh-huhh?" He stops his ranting, shocked into stunned confusion by the human calling his name. He squints up the human above him, gears turning in this brain as he scrambles for an explanation.

He grips the worn thread of his sash, the comforting texture grounding him while he wracks his brain, it's familiar feel bringing him the comfort of summers long gone-

Wait... surely not.

The human, seemingly crestfallen at the lack of recognition perks up suddenly, kneeling at the table and pulling down his sleeve to reveal a bracelet. The plastic beads strung along the red braid read:

"F R E I N D S"

Something clicks into place and memories of sweet summers come flooding back- picking strawberries with his human friend, playing hide and seek, the mess with the paint- his name.

"OHHHHH!!! TUBBO!!"

[end]

-----

prompt: a human and borrower who were childhood friends but were forced to separate due to some circumstance, reunite years later

i had a great time putting this together!! i came up with the idea of borrower!tommy "haunting" ranboo shortly after i got your prompts and i realised i could merge the two concepts ;D

and now i never want to even think about a hawaiian shirt again /lh

-----

extra info i couldnt fit in this, but were in my thoughts as i was writing/drawing:

the house belongs to phil and techno! (tubbo also mentions them in the call)

ranboo is kind of meant to act as a housekeeper for the summer, and it gives him a place to stay also!

phil used to bring tubbo, wilbur and techno to the house when they were younger

tommy and tubbo first met when they were 7! they spent 3 summers together and became REALLY close during then.

tubbo had to switch schools, and it became too hard to travel back to the house for summer holidays

tommys brother is eret! the two of them moved away from the house after tubbo left, but tommy moved back around 3 years prior to this

eret also knows wilbur and niki :] tommy doesnt know that though dgdjcbdnbc