#i swear i didnt mean to disappear like that

[blackshadowswriter]

So uhhh I'm alive everyone!!! I'm not sure if anyone cares at this point given my um very long writing hiatus (holy shit it's been like a year hasn't it) and dipping for like a month but I just wanted to let my mutuals and anyone who gaf know that I am indeed not dead yet.

I took a brief summer vacay and then my summer classes started and having been kicking. my. ass. Idk why I chose a literature class in the summer, like I don't even need this class to graduate but I guess I love to torture myself. I really shouldn't be complaining bc it isn't that hard, just a lot of busy work and writing essays in like a day and shit, but I have another class starting soon, so I'll probably be going under any time soon.

I probably won't be writing much anytime soon (i'm so sorry about that) since I'm already doing so much of that and not the enjoyable kind, but I'm aiming to get at least one fic out by the end of summer. Setting really loose goals for myself here lol (watch me not even make that one)

@farfromstrange bestie ive missed you sm and i just needed you to know i havent forgotten you and i've been thinking about you all the time and i read all your posts, i just havent found time to reply yet, and im so sorry I hope you aren't mad, but i hope hope hope you're okay girl, i love you <3

and @starfanatic im so sorry to leave you hanging 😭 i swear i wasnt abandoning you, I miss you and our lil convos all the time, and i hope you aren't mad at me either <3

Anyways thanks for listening to my yap session, I will shrivel back into my little hellhole of assignments now :)

[porcelain-animatronic]

i love school because i inevitably end up with too many tasks and don't complete any of them!

[nubsdolls]

SYPNOSIS ; g/n reader x sparring partner! bakugou, fluff, not proofread .. matching bracelets , enjoy ! xoxo, jord .ᐟ

A/N; this was supposed to be a lil drabble but this came out longer than i intended .. anywaayss. I PROOOMISEEE im gonna start posting more i’ve disappeared for sosososso long.. in the meanwhile take this, luv u guys !!!!!

sparring partner! bakugou that swears he only bugs you 24/7 to “get your ass to training grounds” because you need to improve. no other reason because of course, he cant stand you.. or anything about you, for that matter.

so no, it doesnt “mean” anything when sparring partner! bakugou comes up from behind you to, “fix” your form. adjusting you by signaling you to rotate to the side by giving your hips a little push, nudging your elbows up so your face is protected by your hands.

sparring partner! bakugou who always insists to be near you, discreetly, if he can. because he obviously doesnt want it to seem like he cares, because he doesnt. even during training or maybe even an attack on the school? near you. covering you and making sure warn you of the sneak attacks from behind you.

and even though you practically hate sparring with him, because hes so damn ruthless, ensuring a trip to recovery girl by the end of it, its weirdly the highlight of your days. hearing the ding! of your phone, followed by the usual message from him.

: training grounds. 5 mins

even when its five in the goddamn morning. you never fail to meet him there.

and after a small while of this cycle, you make the (probably) safe assumption you guys are, friends? acquaintances?..hell, maybe you were even on kirishima’s level of ‘friend’. toleratable? at the least.

so while on one of your free days afterschool, youre shopping with the bakusquad. mina, jirou, denki, sero, kirishima, and obviously, bakugou. god knows how they convinced him to tag along.. you get lost in a cute little merch store, spotting matching all might bracelets. ew, corny. who would even get those?

ca—ching! “aaand heres your change, have a nice day!”

you would.

though, you probably shouldve thought this out.. who were you gonna match with? ofcourse, it could always be mina, but she also didnt absolutely fixate on all might. but, there was, one person you had in mind..

and sometime in the week after the hangout, at the end of your—no less than brutal, training session, you tiredly brought it up.

“the other day—while we were at the mall, i saw these matching all might bracelets—“ pant, “i kinda just bought on it on sight, annnd i didnt really think of who to give the other half to before i did.. but i know you like him, so..”

you trail off, simply suggesting it as you move over to sit down on a bench, taking a drink of water, while also, pulling out the bracelets from your pockets and reaching your free hand up to show him.

sparring partner! bakugou scoffs upon seeing the bracelets in your hand. golden age and bronze age all might bracelets.

“thats stupid. im not wearing that shit.” he growls, crossing his arms. his voice a little panted from training. you were getting better. not that he would tell you that directly, of course.

“chill, dynamight.” you roll your eyes playfully, emphasizing his hero name on your tongue. “i was just suggesting it, if you dont want it its fine.” you explain casually. even if, the sentence did hurt your feelings a little.

“ill just give it to izuku.” you shrug, you guys were friends, pretty close if you did say so.

and you almost swear you saw bakugou’s eye twitch. a glint of, jealousy? in his eyes as you bring up the green haired boy’s name.

he lets out an amused huff, rolling his eyes. “tch. whatever, give it to that nerd. not like i care.” before he reaches down next to you for your water bottle, taking a swing, airsip.

setting the bottle back down next to your thigh, he speaks up again. “‘aight, hurry, we arent done. round two.” he adds harshly, motioning with his hand for you to get back up.

“come on. please? one more minute. its so eaarlyyy.” you whine, almost pouty as you throw your head back. still exhausted from the sparring just a few minutes ago. 6am and hes annoyingly productive.

“hurry or i can blast your ass right here.” he glares down at you, grumbling through gritted teeth.

“im getting uupp, geeez.” you groan, lazily getting up from the bench and almost coming up to meet his full height.

later in the day, during class training, you figure you should probably find izuku to give him the other matching half, one already on your wrist.

you couldve sworn you remembered putting it back onto your other wrist so you wouldnt lose it. maybe it was in your dorm instead? whatever, youd just have to give it to him tomorrow.

today, you were working in partners, testing out new possible moves, strengths, weaknesses, and overall just trying to improve on any weak spots.

and like always, sparring partner! bakugou was next to you. basically having claimed you as his designated partner for anything by now, glaring at anyone who even suggested you work with them and not him.

and as your throwing hits at him, trying to catch him off base with your quirk, you notice a glint coming from under his gauntlet, you pause a moment.

its the matching half of your bracelet, all might’s golden age bracelet.

he notices this. feeling his ears dust the slightest pink from, embarrassment? and he uses this moment of weakness to gain the upper hand, pinning you down on the floor.

and youre completely shocked by the sudden move. somehow flipped on your chest to the ground, arms tucked behind your back with his knee holding you down.

“stay focused.” he hisses, reprimanding you for your bad habit.

“thought you said it was stupid?” you mutter. tilting your head to the side ever so slightly to look at him. a sly, cheeky smirk on your face.

“it is.”

maybe it wasnt so stupid after all.

[cindyss]

• - PHYSICAL TOUCH - •

PAIRING(S): theodore nott x fem. reader !!

WARNING(S): use of y/n? swearing, fighting, kissing, drinking, fingering.

SUMMARY: at a party, theodore gets into a fight with a guy dancing with y/n, and she somehow ends up in his bed later that night.

A/N: this is my first time ever writing something like this so lmk if i can do anything to improve this !!

——————————————————

After winning the quidditch match against Hufflepuffs, the Slytherins decided to throw a party, all houses invited, to celebrate their win.

You and your homegirls all got dressed up and ready for the party, and as you entered the room, attention was grasped from all 4 houses.

Your short black dress fit your curves perfectly which made everyone’s heads turn toward you, boys and girls, Ravenclaws and Slytherins, anyone and everyone.

You grab a few drinks and talk to a handful of people as the alcohol hadn’t kicked in yet and you weren’t in the mood to dance. On your way to grab another drink, a tall figure pushes you hard and you fall down.

You hear a “shit” from someone underneath you. Fuck. You had landed on someone’s lap, you turn your head and to your surprise, its theodore.

Now, you didnt exactly like the boy, he would always find ways to talk about your actions or make rude and mean comments about anything he could.

You apologized as you felt him tense under you and as you tried to get up, he pulled you back in to his lap, “maybe i like where you are sweetheart”.

“You stupid drunk fuck,” you laughed “i could punch you right now”

“I do love physical touch darling” he replies

You then giggle as you jump up from his lap. One of your friends then pulls you into the dancing circle. The alcohol had started to kick in and in a few minutes you were dancing your heart out.

Suddenly, you feel someone’s hand on your waist, the Hufflepuffs’ quidditch captain. He was tall, and attractive so you decided to go with flow and danced with him. Suddenly you feel his hand rip off from your waist and he’s on the floor in no longer than 3 seconds.

Theodore nott came storming and punched him hard, which caused the poor boy to come crashing down on the floor. “oh my god!” You gasp, loud.

The brunette then grabs your hand and leads you out the crowd that had formed around the scene. Once you were outside, he gave you no time before leading you back to his dorm.

When you get there his anger has disappeared, it has been replaced with a feeling you can’t quite catch. You immediately start speaking, “what the actual fuck nott! Why would you do that? You hurt the boy really bad!”

“Holy fuck you are beautiful, you are actually breathtaking woah” he says.

“You are so drunk oh my lord.”

“I didn’t drink y/n”

“Wh-“ and before you could finish, he pushed you to the wall and started kissing you hungrily.

Fucking hell.

Theodore then placed his hand on your thigh and gave it a little squeeze earning a little gasp from you and a chance to slip his tongue in which you welcomed it.

The Slytherin boy then helped you get rid of your dress leaving just your panties on before laying you on the bed. He kept kissing you then moved to your neck and started leaving kisses everywhere including you breasts and stomach.

“You are so beautiful oh my dear god.” to that, you giggled.

“I guess you do like physical touch then nott,” you tease.

Theodore then took his time removing your panties to reveal your already wet pussy. “So wet already, baby you’re so perfect holy fucking fuck.”

He then spread your legs further and started teasing you “listen to me nott, if you don’t do something right now, i will.” That made the boy go crazy which made him start eating you out like a starved man.

Your breath was heavy, it was the only sound heard in the room, you also tugged at his hair which made him go faster and harder.

You’ve never felt this before, he was so desperate, like he’s never done this before, like he can’t get enough.

“Theo, im gonna.. Theodore im about to” and just like that, he pulls out. “Not that easy beautiful, im not done just yet.”

“Oh you fucking tease” you say.

He smiles and then suddenly in a quick movement, two of his fingers are inside you, you slap your hands on your mouth to cover the sounds that might leave it.

Theo then removes you hand “scream all you want darling, i wanna hear it, i wanna hear you say my name”

“Theooo” you coo.

His movements start getting faster and he adds a third finger, “theooo god dammit”

“y/n, you need to learn to never touch a man thats not me ever again or else i will fucking rip his eyes out, i will break both of his arms off, say that youre mine”

“mhmm” you mumble as waves of pleasure took over you body.

“Use your words baby” he says as he speeds his movement.

“Im all yours theo, all yours, no one else, just you.”

“Good girl, now do it, cum on me” he replies.

“FUCKKK, GODDD.. THEOOO” you scream as you release onto his fingers.

He then carefully removes his fingers from inside of you before licking your cum off his fingers. “Fuck you taste amazing” he says before jumping up and turning the shower on to clean you up.

later..

After getting all cleaned up, theo pulls you on top of him and covers you both with the blanket, “i think i do like physical touch, just from you y/n”.

You kissed his chin in response giggling before slowing falling asleep embraced in his arms.

[corynation]

OMG NO 😂😂

From what i saw from greys he isnt dereks brother i think ??

Also... Mark slept with dereks sister in the show so i thought it was ok to ask?

Sorry if i didnt make myself clear tho 😂

But she can totally not be dereks sister

Anyway sorry for the confusion

New Beginnings

alex karev x reader

tags : angst, some fluff, uhhh more tags, this is a little everywhere but i hope its okay, not that sad but enough to need a part 2

“Derek? Wha-“

“I need to stay here tonight.” He kept his head down as he shuffled his way through the door, water drops flowing off his hair.

“Is everything okay? Where’s Addison?” The look Derek gave you was almost enough to answer every question that was running through your head. You stood silently as he threw his duffel bag on the couch, his soaked jacket following. He plopped down in the arm chair, palms rubbing his face.

“I’ll get you some hot cocoa to warm up.”

“No don’t I’m fine.”

Your eyebrow raised at his poor attempt in deterring your concern.

“Oh god you look like mom.” Derek chuckled, lighting the heaviness in the room.

“What happened with Addison Derek? Why are you here?”

His face dropped once more almost immediately. The change drawing regret straight out of your core. “I found her sleeping with Sloan.”

“Mark!?” Hearing the most unexpected name come out your stomach churned in a way that made you swear you were about to hurl. The barriers around your emotions all crumbling at once.

“Are we really surprised.” Derek sighed, flattening himself out onto the couch.

“I mean? Yes? No? I don’t.. I mean he’s your best friend?” Surely it wasn’t out of character for Marks sexual.. tendencies to say the least. But still there was a part of you that couldn’t believe he’d sleep with the wife of the man he practically called a brother. Especially after growing so close to him in the past months. You shared everything together and nothing that was said or done could’ve prepared you for this. Your heart ached more then it ever did before, both for Derek but also yourself. Mark was your first, and you had naively convinced yourself he’d be the last. And though you wanted more than anything to curl up in a ball on the floor with Derek and sob your eyes out until the numb feeling that soared through your nerve endings disappeared, Derek didn’t know anything about you and Mark, and you sure as hell weren’t about to have this be the time he finds out. It took more then you thought you had in you to conceal your emotions. Fighting back the familiar sting of tears became a war for the first time, but you stood your ground against it. Sure you and Mark hadn’t taken the time to talk about making things exclusive, but really you didn’t think you needed to. What you felt with Mark was enough to flood your senses full, not able to even consider someone else entering the picture.

And maybe you were stupid to think he felt the same.

It felt futile to hide the burn in your chest, knowing it was evident in your face. But still you tried to mask your feelings, hoping it would be seen as nothing but compassion towards your brother. You’d drag the sun out by your bare hands to bring sunshine after a life of darkness if it meant the best for Derek.

“Yeah well obviously that doesn’t mean much.” The scene of Derek face down on the couch with his arms dangling at weird angles was almost comical enough to bring you out of your anger. In a sad attempt to stifle your laugh, a small giggle escaped your lips. Derek just looked up from his resting spot and gave you the warmest smile you’ve seen from him all night, the picture perfect resemblance of a child.

“Derek I don’t-“ You were cut off mid sentence by the ringing of Dereks phone. He was hesitant to pick it up, most likely praying to himself it wasn’t the two talks of the night.

“Hold that thought I have to take this.” He cleared his throat before answering the phone, his eyebrows stiffening. “Hi Richard, sorry for emailing so late..” Was all you caught as he stepped out of the room.

The anticipation building in you was almost enough to drive you mad. Derek had been on the phone for ten minutes now and you weren’t able to hear any of it. You had began your (what felt like at least) 100th lap around the room, as Derek finally stepped back in. The suspense in the room falling instantly as his demeanor brought nothing but a strange joy.

“Richard Webber from Seattle Grace just called.”

“Okay..?” You sat down on the couch, Derek following.

“He found us both a job, very well pay, I’d be head of neuro, and you’ll be a trauma attending ! It’s perfect! He said he could even throw in a sign on bonus for you for the sudden notice! We start Monday.”

“At Seattle Grace?”

“Well obviously.”

“Derek? Are you insane? Like are you actually going insane because if you are I can understand why.”

“Am I.. Are you going insane? Y/n this is the perfect job opportunity! It’s everything you’ve worked for come on!”

There was a shared silence between the two of you, you each studying the other trying to feel out the mix of emotions you both had been throwing out into the room. Derek looked at you with eyes of an insane man, his lips a curl of typical mischief.

“Derek. This job is in Seattle. Seattle Washington! We live in New York! You can not bring in a life changing job, and move, that I have to do in two days and expect me to jump at it! I know you want to get away from Addison right now but Seattle seriously? Don’t you think that’s taking it a little far?”

“Yes! That’s the point. Come with me or don’t but you’ll sure as hell look idiotic for not.” You let out a sigh at his words, your jaw tensing.

“Derek we’re talking about both of our whole lives right now. Our family is here, our homes, hell our jobs!”

~

“Y/n! welcome to Seattle Grace. I know the offer was a short notice but I appreciate you coming.” Richard Webber, the chief of Seattle Grace, greeted you at the entrance. A great smile plastered across his face as he reached out to shake your hand.

“Of course Richard. Thank you for the offer. I know you wanted me out sooner but like I told Derek, it was insane for me to do the move in two days. So I really do appreciate the exception, it was more than generous of you.” You smiled, accepting the greeting.

“Oh i know it was. But anything for an old friend’s family. And it would be great to have another genius on hand.”

“Old friend?”

“Oh yes, Dr. Shepherd and I have worked on a few cases together in the past. I’ve spent my fair share of time in New York.” Richard spoke as he began to walk through the hospital, his hand reaching behind him to motion for you to follow. “Now I know Derek has been working here for a week now, and could show you around, but I’m going to go ahead and assign you an intern for the day. Someone to show you around and have do all the unnecessary paperwork for you.”

“Oh no Dr. Webber, no need to do that. You’ve already accommodated so much around me. Surely I can find my way around today.”

“Absolutely no need for that Dr. Shepherd. Let me make the day easier for you please.” You smiled at Richard and nodded, fully appreciating the gesture. He nodded and turned around, his finger pointing to a shorter woman across the room at the nurses station.

“Bailey!” The woman whipped her head around, eyebrows raised and an unfazed expression spread on her face. She began walking towards you and Richard, five other doctors following her lead almost immediately. You giggled to yourself as they all looked like a scene of baby ducks following their mom; though these baby ducks did look particularly tired and worn.

“Can you give me one of your children please. I need someone to be with Dr. Shepherd for the day while she settles in. You know like show her around yada yada.”

“Karev go.” Dr. Bailey ordered turning around and beginning to walk back to what she was doing.

“Me? But I’ve got-“ One of the doctors that had been following Bailey began saying, walking backwards to keep up with her in order to plea.

“Karev. GO.”

He stood in the middle of the room, arms up in defeat. You almost felt bad for him until he turned to face you, eyes narrowed and lips pursed as if this was somehow your fault.

“Come on lets get this over with.” He snarled while walking back towards you.

“Hey don’t be pissed at me, I sure as hell didn’t want you to be the one showing me around.” Karev stopped to take a good look at you, almost completely dumbfounded after your response. He scanned your face, either trying to decide who you were to talk to him like that, or the opposite of the spectrum and he was just trying to hide his admiration.

Your grand hospital tour was finally coming to an end after almost two hours. Alex had taken the time to show you each wing, introduce you to each head of department, and even showed you the vending machines that are least likely to scam you. At first he had seemed like a nightmare to be around, almost like a brooding angsty teenager who didn’t like anyone, but after warming up to him (or maybe him warming up to you?) Alex actually seemed more then tolerable. He made you laugh more then you have in awhile. His presence lighting you more than you’ve felt since your first night with Mark, which in all honesty bewildered you more then you imagined. Questioning yourself on how, or why you had become so comfortable around Alex in such little of time.

Honestly he felt like Mark felt. But for some sick reason, that maybe was just a play on your emotions, the man you had just met three hours ago made you feel lighter then Mark had in 20 years. He felt like a flow of fresh rain water after a drought, cleansing you of all toxins and slowly making you new. He was rain and you were the starved flower.

Yet Mark felt like the water saved from the last rain. Still coursing through your veins and settling into your heart and soul. Something that once kept you alive, was once your everything, now something you couldn’t get out of your system without feeling like you were sucked dry, moments away from an inevitable end.

It hadn’t quite struck you how much the Mark situation had hit you before now. Really you hadn’t had time to feel how the situation made you feel. The thought of butterflies returning to you uncovered a deep empty void that was quick to cover your senses.

The sudden wave of emotions hit you hard, but still you tried to remain as unaffected by it as possible. Though you knew you had done quite the shitty job of that after you caught Alex glancing at you with concern from the corner of your eye.

“So,” he coughed, obviously trying to diffuse the odd tension that had began. “What department do you plan to work in after residency?”

“Well actually I’m a trauma attending.”

“Attending? You look younger than me!”

“Well I am 24.” You giggled at the widened eyes of Alex, his jaw practically on the floor.

“24!?”

“Yep! Baby of the family.”

“Baby of the entire hospital! I mean how’d you even get here?”

“Well Dr. Karev that is a long story we could discuss over coffee tomorrow morning.” It was out your mouth before you could even sit to consider it. Alex looked taken aback for a moment, obviously not expecting that just as much as you were.

“Deal.” Alex warmly smiled, his eyes gleaming with something more than before.

okay hii!!! this req is so late im so sorry😭 also this isnt the og post but i cant find that one so I am using this!!! im gonna be honest ive wrote this little by little over the past few months so i really hope its all somewhat cohesive ????? idk atleast readable but im also crossing my fingers that this is okay cause its my first req :)

so without being said i hope you guys enjoyed and i will be making a part two trust 🙏🏻

and listen i know being 24 and being an attending is like damn near impossible but its greys. there was literally a unfazed bazooka in a guys chest.

[llxferim]

Hello!!! I love your blog and your Klaus stories. I had a little idea about him, Klaus x GN!Reader who is obsessed with his hips (because let's be honest, I'm totally infatuated with them *cough*). I imagine he would be a little tease about it when he'd notice how the Reader is feeling? Thank you in advance!

a/n: THANK YOU SO SO MUCHH ILY, IF U DONT LIKE THIS IM ALL DOWN TO REWRITE IT, LIKE GENUIENLY.

yall i tried my besttt, i didnt rlly know how to finish it so just don't judge alright I'm going to cry. besides that thank you so much for the support omgg so many ppl liked and reblogged my fics I'm so happy :)))

pairings: Klaus Hargreeves x Gn!reader

Summary: you are obsessed with Klaus's hips

Genre: fluff

Warnings: Alchohol, gn!reader, gender neutral reader, no y/n used. Klaus is a tease.

Word count: 500 something (i cant write long fics for my life yall)

You'd always heard it was the small things—the details about a person that drives you mad, that sneak up on you and settle deep in your bones until you can't shake them. You never believed it until... Klaus Hargreeves.

It wasn't his sly grin, nor his ability to light up your mood no matter what—you loved all that about him—but no, what got you were his hips.

you two were in your room, Klaus getting dressed and—you reading a book in your chair— if you’d even call it reading.

Klaus was pacing the room, shirt half-buttoned, his low-rise jeans peeking out as he rummaged through a pile of clothes—probably looking for a clothing piece he'd mindlessly tossed in his usual chaos, getting ready for Luther’s wedding.

You leaned back in your chair, pretending to be invested in the book on your lap. But your eyes betrayed you, trailing down to his hips—the way they moved perfectly in sync with his long legs, almost like a sensual dance that came naturally to him.

"What are you staring at, doll?" Klaus's voice pulled you back from your daze, and his smirk told you he already knew the answer. "Nothing," you mumbled, clearing your throat and returning to your book, hoping he wouldn't notice your fierce blush.

"Nothing, huh?" He sauntered over a cat-like grace to his steps.

Klaus leaned in, resting his hands on the arms of the chair you were sitting on. You could smell his cologne—a mix of sandalwood and something uniquely him.

"You know," he drawled, "it's rude to stare without offering a compliment."

Your eyes snapped up to his face, heat rising to your cheeks. "I wasn't—"

"Oh, but you were," Klaus interrupted, his grin widening. He pushed off the chair and spun dramatically, arms outstretched. "So, what's the verdict? Do these jeans make my ass look good?"

You couldn't help but laugh, the tension in your shoulders easing slightly. "You're impossible, Klaus."

"Impossibly charming, you mean," he winked, flopping onto your bed with a dramatic sigh. "Now, as punishment for your rudeness, I'm charging you with the task of helping me find those jeans. You know, the ones with the—"

"Sparkly skulls?" you finished for him, already moving to search through the chaos of his belongings. "I swear, Klaus, if you'd just organize your things..."

-----

Even in public, you'd find yourself staring. His hips were simply irresistible to you.

Everyone was drunk, even Five—a sight that was both amusing and unsettling. It was strange seeing him so nonchalant about the apocalypse.

the newlyweds were feeding each other.. strawberries. Across the room, Allison and Viktor were arguing about—something, their voices barely audible over the thumping music, and Diego had disappeared with Lila some time ago.

And then there was him. Klaus, the life of the party as always, was on the dance floor, his body moving in perfect rhythm to the beat. Your eyes couldn't help but linger on him, admiring how those jeans hugged his hips just right. Even during a world-ending disaster, Klaus had a way of commanding attention—and looking damn good while doing it.

As the night wore on, the party's energy seemed to fuel his every move. You watched him, and couldn't help but smile at how completely Klaus could captivate an entire room.

At one point, he spotted you from across the room. With a mischievous grin, he beckoned you over. and before you could react, he was at your side, pulling you into the crowd.

"Come on, doll," he said, his voice a playful purr. "You can't just stand there staring. Join me."

You laughed, letting him guide you onto the dance floor. For a moment, it was just the two of you, moving together in sync with the music. The world outside ceased to exist.

[thurio-edau]

"It was her," Aiden yelled out, trying to get them to understand him. He couldn't get that bloody image of Ashlyn out of his mind. "I swear I saw her this time!"

"Cut it out! This is the fifth time you thought something you've seen is Ashlyn!" And of course Tyler didn't understand him. He never understood.

Aiden was getting mad. He lost control of his emotions without the smiling mask he always wore. "Are you calling me insane!? I know what I saw! I'm not delusional like your m--"

His eyes widened as he realized what he said, already too late. These were his friends, his found family, looking at him as if he was a monster.

"...I... I'm sorry. I didn't mean it."

Tyler didn't accept the apology though. He pulled Taylor from the arm and left, he couldn't stand Aiden especially lately. It was his fault. He always messed stuff up. He messed it up again.

"Damn it!" Ashlyn yelled to herself in her mind, waking up in the boring facility room yet again. She was so close to getting there... But she failed.

All she could do was talk inside her mind. Not even out loud, she couldn't let Alex and whoever else was there suspect anything. Now she needed an excuse to have a first aid kit in her room. She wasn't sure if she could walk outside and search for anything in the phantom dimension from how heavily injured she was. Yeah, she had Alex's card thanks to a trick she did, but she didn't have anything in real life except this room.

The walls were plain white. Lifeless and tired, just like her. She missed the braids her mom did each morning. She missed her father's awful jokes. She missed the graveyard, she missed her friends.

She missed that one smile.

The pain in her back and arms were obvious to her. Phantom claws were sharp for sure, she bled terribly in the phantom dimension. And Ashlyn woke up in the facility room yet again... All the distance she went was trashed.

They told her it was a fungus. That her parents knew she was here. That her friends knew she was here. That they were okay with it. They were okay with it. They were okay with her being kept away. They were okay with not getting to see her. They were okay with it.

Tch. Such bullshit. She didn't believe it, at all. It ate away at her, she didn't know how Tyler was right now. How Aiden was right now. A tree and a ceiling. Maybe they were fine. Tyler was alright. Aiden woke up okay. She still felt the way she clung to him once they woke up.

She had to get back. It was so close, why not get closer? One hour was the preparation... If she prepared the night before, she'd have six hours on the road. Right. She could do this. She was Ashlyn Banner, of course she could do it... Well, she needed to take care of her scars first because she could pass out. Every single night was important now, she was practically only alive for 7 hours in the phantom dimension. She felt dead in real life, 24 hours of doing nothing.

"I need to hurt myself somehow... So that I can have some kind of bandaging." Ashlyn thought.

But how? She didn't have a knife to injure herself with. And no way they'd just bring her one upon request. And trying anything drastic was too risky. Injuring her foot or legs were risky too... She needed that to get to her friends. But she definitely needed the bandaging, because her scars were too intense from the phantom claws.

Putting together a plan wasn't as hard as she thought.

im okay guys dont worry i wrote this out of free will yes sorry it sucks it was the free will

its just buildup rn honestly i literally didnt expect to make this an actual fic but here we go i guess

smoke signals part 2 . part 1 here

[carolb111]

Weeks went by without a single word from Gojo. You were slowly becoming yourself again. Going out places with your friends, moving into a new apartment, and trying to move on from the heartbreak that kept plaguing your mind. Until all of your hard work of trying to forget what happened was useless when someone showed up at your doorstep at 2 in the morning.

You were just laying in bed scrolling on your phone when someone was pounding on your door. Being really confused you go and walk in the kitchen to see whos knocking. You check your peephole first to see who it was (cause youre not a dumbass) and you see the person you least expected. Gojo fucking Satoru.

He looked like he hadn’t slept for weeks.

Eyes tired and hair a mess. It almost made you feel bad for him.

But you obviously didn’t  I mean how could you he broke your heart and disappeared off the face of the earth for almost 2 months. Deleting all of his social media and stopped going to the places he would regularly frequent. 

Standing awkwardly in the doorway of your new apartment you shuffle to the side to let him in. “You can have a seat on the couch I guess.” You say tiredly, He walks slowly towards your living room, almost seeming ashamed that he’s hurting you further by showing up so late at night.

You follow him before sitting on your couch. 

 “Do you need something? I think I left everything that was yours at your apartment I just took everything that was mine.” You say confusedly wondering what in the hell anyone would need at 2 in the morning. Especially after everything that happened, you’d assume whatever he needed back from you he could buy another one. 

“No thats not what I came here for” He said, still keeping what his intentions were hidden from you. “I came here to apologize for everything that happened. It was never my intention to hurt you as much as I did.” You could tell from the tone of his voice that he really meant what he was saying. He’s never tried to hide what he felt from you. Maybe thats the reason you fell so hard for him. But that love didn’t stop him from leaving you behind. Thats the reason the resentment in your heart can’t let you forgive him. He took everything from you.

“I can’t forgive you.” Was the only words you could say without screaming and crying why he did everything that he did to you with no resistance. And wordlessly he got up from his seat on the couch and left your apartment for the second time. But this time you were convinced he wouldn’t come back to you.

Part 1 Carols note: omfg im SOOO SORRY this didnt make it out of my notes app for so long i was having MAJOR writers block but i swear ur getting more soon!!

taglist: @dereoma @dereonana @nxgiswife @tqd4455 @eidalover @pinkbunnysblog @painted-hills @karmcrim15 @sillyfreakfanparty @tojipie @kahtherinee

i love all of u for being so excited for this mwah mwah and i tagged some of my moots cause why not😭😭 bye byeeee

[mrdixon]

Mirrors

pairing: daryl dixon x gn!reader

wc: 4.9k ...

warnings: insecurity, slight swearing pshhh

summary: after a moment of jealousy, you start to doubt yourself.

A/N: i honestly didnt mean to write this so long and i hope its not so boring................ my requests are always open if you wanna read something specific ;) ★

masterlist!

You’ve been dating Daryl since the prison so you know how he isn’t overly affectionate which you’re alright with, you understand that that’s just how he is. Plus it’s not like he isn’t ever affectionate with you, there’s a few kisses here and there, a few longing glances.

Recently though, Daryl has been working a lot so you two barely have any time for each other. Not that it’s a problem he’s working, you’re glad he’s working hard everyday to keep you and everyone safe. The only thing that’s driving you crazy is how often he works with this one girl, Mimi. You’re not blind to the fact that Daryl was in fact very popular, with the ladies specifically. You first noticed it in the prison. And you were okay with it… for the most part.

You weren’t surprised when Mimi first approached him on a run, noticing the way she looked at him. You once looked at him like that when you first met him. You thought nothing of it at first because you tried to make yourself very much known as Daryl’s partner, but it didn’t stop Mimi from trying to pursue him. You were jealous. Jealous of the fact that this girl was spending more time with your boyfriend than you yourself, but you couldn’t do anything. You didn’t do many supply runs, she did. So it was natural for Daryl and her to end up on the same run all the time. You couldn’t even tell Daryl not to spend so much time with her because what would that make you? Insecure? Controlling? Jealous? You didn’t want to admit it. You couldn’t.

So for weeks you watched as they got closer, noticing the way she stood so close to him. Helping him wipe grime off his face the way you did back at the prison, brushing her shoulder against his as they walked. You noticed every little thing from where you were watching them in the comfort of your shared home with Daryl.

When she was walking him home to you, you couldn’t help but watch them again. You noticed how pretty she was, and of course she was. You couldn’t but admire her long glowy hair, it looked so soft. You tucked your hair behind your ear, noticing how dull it looked and how rough it felt from it being used to being caked in dirt. She probably never had that problem having lived in Alexandria during the whole apocalypse. You noticed how soft her features were, never once having a scratch or scar unlike you. Despite being on runs all the time she still glowed in the sun, even with dirt or walker blood on her she never once looked disgusting. Her pretty smile turning heads everywhere she walked. What if Daryl was to fall for her? Be wooed by her beauty and wonderful personality? Or better yet, what if he already had?

Before the two even reached the front door you were already outside, smiling slightly as Daryl’s gaze fell on you, his eyes brightening a little. “Hey (Y/N).” He nodded to you while Mimi walked up beside him, her shoulder flush against his as she gave you her signature smile. You swallowed, smiling back.

“You hungry? I cooked up some of that alphabet soup you brought home the other day.” You said to Daryl, staring down at your feet.

“Nah, jus’ ate some of Mimi’s apple pie.” He drawled. Your lips pressed into a thin line as you nodded, walking back towards the house.

“Okaaay… well I’ll just eat the rest then.” You muttered before disappearing into the house, plopping down onto your seat at the table. Taking his share of the soup you looked outside, Daryl and Mimi were still talking. You sighed, trying to hear their conversation but it was way too soft and quiet. Your finger found its way to your mouth, nibbling it gently. You wondered what could they possibly be talking about? Daryl barely talks usually so how is he being so talkative with her? You sighed, shaking your head to rid your thoughts as you ate the soup. You looked back over at them, frowning as you watched her put her hand on his shoulder, running it down his arm and discreetly checking out his muscles. You groaned, not being able to take anymore of the scene. Standing up you went to put the soup away before going upstairs and into your shared room.

You walked into your room, sitting on your bed and grabbing your notebook. You started absentmindedly doodling shapes into the pages, your thoughts moving back to Daryl and Mimi and you couldn’t shake the feeling of jealousy coursing through your body. You tried so hard to shove those dumb feelings down but a tear slipped down your cheek. Wiping it angrily you couldn’t help but think. Why was he more talkative with her? What if he was gonna leave you for her? Or even worse, what if he had already cheated? A few more tears slipped down your cheeks but you frustratingly wiped them away, standing up towards the mirror placed towards your side of the bed.

Sighing, you looked at yourself in the mirror. Your hair on the shorter side, unlike Mimi’s. Didn’t Daryl like long hair? You ran your fingers through your hair, getting caught in tangles here and there which made you more frustrated than you already were and biting your finger. You bet she didn’t have a problem with tangled hair, or the fact that her hair still looked good even in a world where you had to get dirty to live.

Your eyes stared back at you in the mirror, dull and empty, full of those sickening memories you had to endured over the past few months. Mimi’s definitely weren’t like that, her eyes shined. Hell they probably glowed when the sun hit them. She was beautiful, in every way. Why is Daryl even with me? You thought helplessly.

You continued to stare at yourself, mentally nitpicking yourself and your flaws. Not noticing Daryl was standing at the door.

He watched you through the mirror, his heart swelling at the sight of you. You were so beautiful, but he noticed how miserable you looked. He knew something was bothering you so he entered the room quietly, standing beside you. “Hey,” he said softly. A frown on his face as he noticed your teary eyes, “everythin’ okay?”

You looked up at him after wiping your eyes quickly, flashing him a half-smile. “Yeah I’m fine,” you responded quietly, your voice slightly shaky. He kept frowning when you avoided his gaze.

He took notice of how your voice shook, your eyes slightly red. “(Y/N), what’s wrong?” He whispered, placing a hand on your chin and tilting your face up so you would look at him.

“Nothing,” you murmured, looking away. Your eyes caught yourself in the mirror again, quickly averting your gaze.

“Sweetheart,” he frowned, trying to get your attention. “There’s somethin’ bothering ya, isn’t there?” You couldn’t help but notice how gentle he sounded, how soft he was being with you. “C’mon, you can tell me,” he urged.

You gave another half-smile, shaking your head. “No, no it’s nothing.”

“Hun, look at me. You know you can tell me anythin’,” he softly spoke. His hand caressed your cheek gently, carefully. His blue eyes stared at you intently and you got lost in his eyes for a moment. Taking a deep breath and looking away.

“Please,” he whispered. “Tell me what’s goin’ on.” His voice was so gentle yet it left you with a sharp pang in your heart.

You shook your head once again, closing your eyes. You didn’t want him to know, you didn’t want him to see you so weak. So vulnerable.

“It’s nothing Daryl, I’m just tired.” You moved away.

“Well I don’t believe ya,” he said quietly, following you. “I know ya more than enough to know somethin’ is wrong.” You could hear him sigh at your silence, his hands placing themselves on your waist. “Why don’ we take a bath?” He offered, smiling playfully at you, “ya can rest against me in the hot bath.” His eyes pleaded as if telling her, ”Just tell me what’s on your mind.”

You pushed away again, shaking your head. “It’s fine, I promise.” You dismissed him.

“(Y/N), please,” he urged. “Yer clearly not fine and I’m worried about you.” He nibbled on his lip, stepping in your way to try and get you to listen.

You shook your head, making your way towards the closet. “Go take a bath yourself.”

Daryl watched helplessly as you walked away from him, finding his own way into the bathroom and closing the door behind him. He felt upset and frustrated, mostly with himself with how he couldn’t think of words to try and convince you to talk. He wanted to walk right out and try to make her open up, but he knew that would only make things worse.

He sighed as he slowly undressed for a shower, his mind racing with possibilities of what could be bothering her. He only wished for her to trust him enough to tell him what was wrong.

Daryl finished his very much needed shower, feeling more relaxed as he walked back into their room. His eyes trailed over your sleeping figure, your back to him. He smiled softly as he watched you from behind, your body rising and falling with every soft breath you took. His smile quickly dropped when he looked up at the mirror in front of you, covered with a blanket.

He frowned to himself, placing his towel down and moving towards the mirror. He turned back to you, your eyes closed. They were avoiding looking at themselves earlier… He thought before turning back to the blanket covered mirror, slowly lifting the blanket off and taking in his reflection. He looked tired, but he got distracted by the beauty sleeping in his bed behind him. You face soft and relaxed, unlike earlier when it was strained with an emotion that he couldn’t quite pick out. You always looked beautiful to him, he loved everything about you. The scars on your face and body only showing how brave you were, how hard you fought to keep yourself alive through this whole apocalypse. The way your lips were parted, letting out soft breaths of air. Those same lips are the ones that kissed over his skin in the morning, the ones he loved to kiss with every emotion he could muster up.

He walked over to his side of the bed, carefully climbing under the covers to not wake you. He draped an arm over your waist. He looked at the mirror in front of you, noticing your eyes were open and you sighed. Turning over to face him, your eyes closed and acting like you were asleep.

He frowned at your stubbornness, you were a strong person. He knew that, but there was something clearly bothering you, something you wouldn’t speak out loud. He had never seen you like this before, he didn’t know what to do.

He looked down at your “sleeping” face, trailing down your body. You looked beautiful, always, even in your sleep. Your hair spread out around you and your face was lit up by the light of the moon, highlighting the small features only he knew of. He sighed, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear as he caressed your cheek softly.

“Daryl?” You whispered, your eyes still shut as you grabbed his hand.

His heart skipped a beat hearing you whisper his name in that soft voice he loved to hear. “What’s wrong?” He whispered back, looking over your face and admiring the way the moonlight fell across your face.

You turned your head back towards the mirror, quickly looking away once you saw yourself. “Why’d you take the blanket off?”

He watched you shyly look away from your reflection, his brows furrowing in confusion on why you didn’t want to see yourself. It wasn’t like you and it worried him.

“I wanted to see you,” he whispered, stroking your hair gently. His voice was soft, looking you over again with all the love he gathered up for you over your time being together.

“You can see me like this… Why did you have to take the blanket off?” You whispered back meekly.

“Because I wanted to,” he sighed, “I wanted to see all of ya. Front and back.” He simply replied, his arms wrapping around your waist and pulling you closer. “Look at me.” He said softly, but firm.

He gently took your face in his hand, making you look into his eyes. He wanted to take care of you, reassure you that everything would be alright, that everything is alright.

Your eyes looked back at him, a sort of sadness in them as they went glossy with an ocean of blue emotions. He noticed. He didn’t understand why you were so upset, he knew you to be the strongest and most independent person he knew. Yet here you were, laying in his arms looking as fragile as a piece of glass.

“Please tell me what’s wrong,” he gently urged you. He just wanted to see you smile, to see you happy, and the fact that he couldn’t was eating him up inside. He knew something was bothering you, but you wouldn’t tell him what it was. You felt his arms tighten around you, bringing you closer, it was all he ever wanted everyday. To feel you beside him at every second of every day.

You sighed softly, biting your tongue to stop yourself from speaking. Your eyes darted around the room nervously, looking at anything but him. He dragged you to look towards him once again, nodding softly to you. “Daryl… what if you don’t find me attractive anymore?” Your voice was barely over a whisper.

“What do ya mean?” he asked quietly, his tone slightly confused. “I love you, of course I find ya attractive.” His grip tightened on you.

You just sighed, averting your gaze from his eyes. “You’re just saying that.”

“No, I mean it.” He said firmly while pushing your hair back gently, leaning forward and pressing his face into your neck. His lips lightly grazing over your jaw and neck, his stubble tickling you slightly while he breathed deeply. Your scent making his head spin, kissing your neck gently before pulling back to look in your eyes. “(Y/N), I love you. I always will, and I’ll always find you attractive.”

His words were soft but firm, and true. There was no doubt in the back of his mind about anything he was saying, he meant every word he said to you.

“But Mimi—” You bit your lip and watched as Daryl realized what this whole thing was about.

He took a deep breath, “Mimi.” He repeated, sighing gently as he understood what this was all about. “(Y/N)… She’s not here, she’s not… you. You’ll always been the one that I want. Always.” His hands trailed up your arms and onto your face, cupping your cheeks as he looked deeply into your eyes, desperately trying to make you hear him.

You could only look up at him, your lip quivering. “She’s beautiful Dar…”

“(Y/N)…” Daryl whispered, kissing you softly on the lips. His hands rubbed circles onto your back, kissing any exposed skin he could find, starting at your temple. “I love you, I want you… only you.”

You pushed him away before he kissed your lips once again, shying away. His face flickered with slight confusion, “Hun.” He whispered, taking your hands in his and kissing every knuckle. “Why can’t you see yourself like I do?” His tone was questioning, not quite grasping the idea of your insecurities.

“Can’t you see?” You whispered sadly, refusing to turn around and see yourself in the mirror. Daryl sighed once again, pulling you towards him and into his chest, caressing the back of your head with his thumb.

“Look at me, please.” There was concern in his voice as he spoke. He couldn’t bear to see you in pain like this, he wanted you back the way you used to be, he wanted you happy. His hand on your head moved down slowly to the back of your neck, tangling his fingers in your hair. “Tell me what’s on your mind.”

You sighed shakily, tears pooling into your eyes. “Mimi… she’s perfect for you. She’s your type while I’m the complete opposite….. I’m not enough for you.” Your voice cracked, sniffling.

Daryl felt his heart break hearing you speak. He didn’t want to seem upset, not when you were already in tears. He had to be strong for the both of you, but it was so hard seeing the love of his life break down in tears because they saw themselves less than.

“You know that’s not true… I don’ have a stupid type, not that I want jus’ anyone.” He whispered, scratching your scalp comfortingly, “I want you, my angel. My beautiful angel.” His words were a soft whisper, filled with the utmost admiration he had for you and kissed you softly. “I want only you. Not Mimi, not some other person. You. You’re perfect for me.”

You cried, shaking your head as you just couldn’t accept the words he was saying to you. You only thought of her and how beautiful she was, how she was the angel, not you. You hated crying, especially in front of him. “I’m so… so ugly Daryl you don’t understand.”

He shook his head firmly, “no. We both know that isn’t true. Listen to me, you are the most beautiful person I’ve ever known.” His voice was pained, hating to see you in this way. He hoped he sounded sincere enough, not wanting you to suffer anymore. “Hey. Yer beautiful. You. Not Mimi, she’s not here, she doesn’ exist to me like that. You do, right in front of me, gorgeous as ever. Your hair, your eyes… I love everything about you. You’re my everything y’know that?”

“Mimi…” you whispered, thinking of all the times she’s made him laugh. Why didn’t he laugh that much around me? Why doesn’t he smile that often? Despite everything she’s made you feel you just can’t bring yourself to hate her, she really was perfect. She wasn’t mean, condescending, she was… better.

“(Y/N) stop it.” He begged desperately, his heart sinking while he watched you spiral. “Why are you still thinkin’ about her? Yer more important to me than her, in every way. Yer not jus’ beautiful, yer the most kind, funny, and intelligent person I know. Hell, you’ve saved my ass so many times just by yer quick thinking. I think about ya all the time, and I hate to admit but I find myself getting distracted by the thought of ya when I’m out, I smile because of you. Yer special, and you should know that, (Y/N).” He pulled you close, trying to make his voice as comforting as he can.

“What if you fall out of love? What if your eyes land on someone better, someone prettier?” You sighed exasperatedly, you didn’t know who you were trying to convince at this point. You were probably annoying him, something Mimi probably never did.

But he remained patient, rubbing your back. “Stop. I will never love anyone else but you. If someone prettier was righ’ here and I could be with ‘em, I’d still choose ya. Every single time, because there’s no one better, or prettier than you. You’ll always be that person for me, every time. Yer my everythin’. Don’ let anyone try an’ tell ya otherwise, no one in this world will ever be better than ya. Yer my only love, the only person I want, forever.” He whispered, cradling you in his arms as he rocked you back and forth slowly, kissing the top of your head.

Hot tears streamed down your face while looking up at him. He frowned, wiping your tears away while looking directly into your eyes. There was a love in his eyes that only you could see and feel, something no one else could see from him.

He held you close for a few minutes, cradling your face and caressing your hair gently, working through the knots like it was his favourite thing to do.

“(Y/N), I want you to believe me when I say yer perfect. I don’ care if ya think Mimi is the prettiest person in the world, I believe in my gut that that title falls to you. Yer everything I could ever ask for and always will be.” He proclaimed softly, kissing your hair and leaving his lips there for a few moments.

“Dar…” You whispered, crying into his chest as he finally got to you. Soaking up every emotion he expressed to you, the words sinking into your brain.

“It’s okay, I got ya.. ‘m righ’ here…” He whispered, shushing you gently while rocking you. Daryl kissed the top of your head, continuing to shush you. He’d never seen you this broken before and it killed him, he hoped he would never have to see you like this again, he only wanted to see joy emitting from you from now on. “I know ‘m not the best comforter but ‘m here, and ‘m not leavin’.”

“I’m sorry…” Your voice cracked, sounding fragile as you hid your face in his chest. He sighed, shaking his head and placing his chin on your head.

Daryl thought about how hard you were being on yourself, and how sad he was to witness this happen. “There’s no need to be sorry. Ya don’ have to put yerself down, or compare yourself to anyone. You’re you, (Y/N). I love you and that’s all that matters to me.” His tone was affectionate, coming straight from his heart. He wanted nothing more than for you to feel safe and loved.

You cried again, still doubting yourself in the back of your mind as he kissed your forehead.

“Ya know yer more than enough for me, I love you and nothing is gonna change that. There’s no one in this world that comes anywhere close to how amazing ya are.” His voice was firm, taking your hands in his and intertwining your fingers with his, “yer just perfect. Perfect.” If he could he would move mountains to make you believe him. You were his entire world, his entire will to live and he wanted you to know that.

Your entire body shuddered while you placed your head on the pillow beneath you, breathing shakily with tears in your eyes as you looked up at him. He placed a hand on your cheek, caressing your cheek with his thumb as he opened his mouth to speak again,

“Tell me the truth. Have I ever given you a reason to doubt that I love ya? Have I made it seem like this relationship meant nothing to me?” His voice was shaky, hoping he didn’t cause all this.

“Have I ever made you feel unloved?” His voice cracked slightly, eyes watering and his heart aching when he looked down at you. He wanted to fix this, he wanted to make you feel better again. He ran his fingers through your hair again, hoping to soothe you into feeling happier. The last thing he wanted was for you to cry again.

You thought about his questions for a moment. Thinking back to all those times you met up with him while Mimi was present. You never noticed how his eyes lit up when he saw you, how he smiled more with you around, and how he could be more open with you around. He was never looking at Mimi, in fact when they were alone all he could think of was you. He never cared for her like that, all he could do was notice you when you were around. He noticed the way you tucked your hair behind your ear when it got in your face, he noticed the way you bit your finger whenever you got frustrated, he noticed the way your eyes twinkled when you watched him from afar. When Mimi walked by everyone's head turned to watch her, not Daryl's. No his head turned to watch you. Your smile was the best thing he saw, not hers. His heart swelled with love at the sight of your smile, wanting to do his best to preserve it. The best part of his day was coming home to you, not being with Mimi. Even in the past whenever other people would try and flirt with him, he would only look for you. He did everything for you, caring for you, providing for you, loving you.

He always had his eye on you, even when you thought Mimi was perfect. It was always you, it’s always been you. You were too caught up in watching Mimi that you never noticed him and the way he looked at you. He saw you.

He placed his hand on the small of your back, gliding it up gently to your chin and tilting your face up at him. Your silence tore at his heart in ways he never knew it could. He just wanted you to feel loved by him and the silence scared him, thinking it confirmed his worst fears.

“Have I ever made you feel loved..?” His voice quivered, hoping that wasn’t the case. His eyes were wet and desperate.

“Of course you did… I just.” You looked down again, your voice betraying you in the moment. Silently crying.

“There has never been a time where I doubted this relationship. You love me and I love you, there is no one I’d rather be with. My relationship with ya is like my lifeline and it would kill me to fuck this up, I hope ya know yer my world and ya always will be.” Daryl’s eyes were sad and his voice was choked up. He grabbed your waist to bring you closer, placing a soft kiss on your lips.

“Yer the love of my life. I want you and only you. I could never love anyone else,” he sighed shakily as he pulled you into his chest. His tone was full of love and so soft and sweet, he wanted you to know he wasn’t mad. He just wanted you to know you meant the world to him.

You choked up again, wrapping your arms around his neck and softly sobbing into him. He immediately reciprocated the hug, the warmness of your body bringing comfort to him. He could only hope his did the same for you. What could I have done to hurt them like this? He wondered hopelessly.

“Baby,” he caressed your hair, planting a sweet kiss on your cheek. “I love ya, I love you so much hun. You’ll always be the love of my life, in every universe I’ll be there for ya.” His anxiety flared up when you pulled back again, looking into his eyes.

“Let me look at you when you say that,” you whispered softly.

He smiled, his voice as gentle as it could be. Filled with love, with affection and with everything else that she taught him in these last few months. You really did mean everything to him and he needed you to know that, every word he said and thought was true.

”I love you,” he whispered. “You make me feel loved, like no one else… and y’know every time I see ya, my heart jumps out of my chest and I have to mentally prepare myself in case ya can hear my heart beating too loud.” He chuckled quietly, placing a kiss on your nose. “I love you, (Y/N). Always.”

You smiled softly, closing your eyes and pressing your lips against his in a tender kiss. Daryl was filled with joy, the sweetest tooth-rotting kind. Your lips meeting his in a long tender kiss, feeling his heart and soul stir as his arms wrapped around you tight. He pulled you closer, deepening the kiss and running his fingers through your hair comfortingly.

Once you pulled away you chuckled under your breath, sniffling before nestling your face into the crook of his neck. Your soft breathing tickling his skin, “I’m sorry.”

He sighed contently and pulled you closer in a tight, warm embrace. You could feel him shake his head, kissing your forehead gently, not saying another word. That kiss told you everything you needed to know, even without words. He never wanted you to doubt his love for you, ever. He would spend his whole life trying to convince you if he had to. He always wanted you to be certain that you were the only one for him. Because that’s how he truly felt. You were his entire world.

He held you the entire night, in his arms. Whispering sweet nothing into your ear as he caressed your hair, coaxing you to sleep. Occasionally kissing your head. His touch was tender, gentle, and loving. He wanted to make you feel safe and most importantly, loved. You were the most special person to him. He slowly rocked you in his arms, humming softly until you finally drifted off to sleep, he wanted to be the only one to comfort you.

He loved you with all his heart and he would do absolutely anything for you.

[idontego]

We Should Make Up | Kaji x Reader

Summary: This is kind of a part 2 to the break up headcannon i wrote. Kaji sees you entering a bar and can’t help but seek you out and try to make amends with you after your breakup.

A/n: This was so rushed bc i have somehwere to be so i will more than likely go back and make adjustments to this! Let me know what you think! ALSO TOMORROW’S EPISODE WE GET TO SEE OUR MAN AGAIN IM SOOOO EXCITED!!!!🤍

Warnings: breakups, alcohol, suggestive toxic relationship habits, co-dependency, swearing

It was out of the norm for you to go out, and by go out i mean bar hopping, drinking in public places with your friends or worse- strangers. It had been a few months since you and Kaji split up and as much as you didn’t want to, your friends finally convinced you to go out with them. You wanted to hurl at the idea of Kaji finding out about you going out and even worse, drinking on top of it. It was one thing that he would be upset over, strictly because he always felt the need to watch you and be with you out in public only to protect you and it was another thing, because he imagined how easily you could be taken advantage of if you were intoxicated. Just the thought of these things could easily set him off.

You entered the bar wearing a black mini dress with a corset top, squeezing your rib cage and extenuating your breasts and a regular pair of heels that were semi comfortable, nothing over the top. You didn’t know where this night would end but your friends were sure they’d help you make the most of it.

Meanwhile, Kaji sat in his room preparing to patrol and do his almost daily routine of also checking up on you from afar-watching. He was walking down the same street you were on and was concentrating on individuals around him-scanning the area for any threats, and that’s when he saw you. His eyes immediately widened and his jaw dropped almost to the floor as his lollipop hit the ground. He was shocked seeing you in such close proximity to him and you were wearing that?! And you were here?! But you looked so good, so tempting. His eyes examined your figure until he shook his head and ripped open another lollipop wrapper, tossing it in his mouth. His face of shock quickly turned into anger. He looked left, right, and left again to see if anyone he knew was about to see him enter the same building you were in. Kaji did not go out, ever. He didnt like the people, didnt like the setting, didnt like the idea of sweaty shit faced people rubbing up so close to each other, especially you.

His eyes met yours amongst the crowd- if looks could kill, he would be the embodiment of it. You’ve never seen him glare this hard before. Or at least not at you. “Oh shit.” You mumbled under your breath. You swiftly turned your head around in the opposite direction, which was a sad attempt at playing off seeing him-hoping he didn’t recognize you.

To only make matters worse, when you turned around, you bumped into a guy’s chest causing him to spill his drink. “I’m so sorry. Oh my gosh.” You apologized.

“No worries! I’ll just get another one. Why don’t you come with me to get something for yourself as well.” He said with a big grin on his face.

“Uh, sure!” You replied following him. Could this be your escape from Kaji’s glare? Did he lose you in the crowd by now?

You approached the bar and waited on your drinks when you heard a gruff voice behind you and their body heat against your back. “Hey!” Kaji said with the same glare on his face.

“She has a boyfriend ya’ know.” He proceeded

“Oh, really?” The guy questioned.

“She does.” Kaji confirms. Kaji already made his point very clear to this man and you and his stance and the look on face had ‘do not fuck with me’ written all over it.

You closed your eyes in an attempt to disappear but this was actually happening.

“I dont actually.” You blurted out. “In fact-“ Kaji cut you off grabbing your waist and leading you out side of the bar.

“What the hell are you doing her-“

“Did you really think finding some random drunk guy here would solve all of your problems? What were you thinking? Did he try to get with you?”

“Kaji, that’s not what i was hoping would happen. The girls wanted me to go out with them just for tonight because I’ve declined every other time because it still just didn’t feel right to do something like this even though we aren’t together. You know just as much as i do that i never liked going out or drinking.”

“This dress looks really good on you by the way. It’s a shame i never got to see you in it til’ now.” He said rolling his eyes and completely disregarding what you said.

You blushed at his compliment and your heart began to flutter again. Gosh.. why does he have to have this effect on you. “Kaji, we need to talk.” You said, looking at the ground.

He lifted up your chin, so you’d look him in the eyes for what he was about to say. “I agreeI just want to start off by saying that you don’t know how hard these past few months have been for me. Losing you was one of the hardest things for me. I didn’t know how to cope. My friends tried to help me, but i pushed them away. Everythin’ everyday made me think of you and i was completely consumed with the idea that you were gone for good. I was obsessed with the thought of why we ended things the way we did and I felt like i couldn’t protect you as much as I’d like which drove me even more crazy. I lashed out on anyone that we’d get in fights with-exceeding my limits and going over board because i wanted to make sure people like them never got a hold of you. There’s so much more but i-“

You cut him off with a kiss and your eyes were filled with tears. You had the most intense feeling of regret and sorrow for him and also the mourning of your relationship. You wanted him back. You needed him just as much as he needed you. You wanted to make things right. He rested his hands on either side of your waist and you kissed you back-matching your passion.

“I’m so sorry, baby.” You pulled away from the kiss wiping your tears.

“It’s fine. missed you, y’ know?”

“I can’t ever lose you again. I knew we’d come back tho.” You managed to smile and even let out a giggle while saying.

[cass1dyyy]

IN DANGER

contains: angst, fluff

warnings: swearing, an argument, reader’s life is in danger, injury and injury detail, near-death experience

jj maybank x female reader

not proofread, im sorry for any mistakes!

summary: after an explosive argument with your kook father, you run out of the house, and decide to do your favourite activity, surfing. but what about hurricane agatha..?

A/N: i wanted to say this may be inaccurate because im not too sure how to write it. the end also may be inaccurate with jj’s health, but it’s fictional so oh well!

(imagine kiara’s house as your home)

“WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?” you screech at your dad, running down the stairs and into the kitchen, just trying to create space between you. he follows you anyway.

“MY ‘PROBLEM’ IS YOU HANGING OUT WITH THOSE STUPID POGUES! THEY BRING OUT THE WORST IN YOU. ESPECIALLY THAT STUPID JJ KID. I MEAN, HIS DAD’S A CRACKHEAD, WHY WOULDNT HE BE?!” he roars, knocking plates onto the floor in anger, you wince hearing them smash.

“no. no.” you mutter, tears welling up in your eyes, as you turn away from him, opening the porch door.

“DONT YOU DARE. COME BACK. Y/N DONT THERES A HURR-“

you slam the door, not hearing the last bit, not that you cared anyway. you walked furiously down your vast, white-painted porch, and turned to the garage. you snatched your surfboard, hooking it over your shoulder as you stumbled to your dads car, unlocking it.

you hoped he wouldnt hear as you started the car, shoving the board into the back of the jeep, before hopping into the drivers seat and speeding your way down to the beach.

“why is no one here??” you mutter to yourself. it was only 3pm, and usually there’d be multiple surfers and atleast one party on one side of the beach. puzzeled, you left your sandals on the pavement, letting the warm sand sink between your toes as you stepped closer to the refreshingly cold waves. hearing a car drive past, you turn your head out of instinct. you could’ve sworn you saw sarah’s familiar looking-car. why did everything seem so dystopian at the moment? the whole town was eerily empty.

around fifteen minutes into surfing, you were laying on your board, tired out after all the surfing. you noticed the waves getting rougher, and the sun disappearing behind the clouds. you raised your head, and looked around. the waves were thrashing around, and you started desperately trying to paddle to shore, to no avail. the freezing cold water was thrown over you as you shrieked, and started shaking. the weather immediately changed, rain hammering down from the murky sky. you screamed out:

“HELP!”

but no one could hear you… no one was around.

SARAH’S POV:

i headed up the chateau’s steps, meeting jj, kie, pope, and john b on the small porch.

“hey guys.” i smiled, greeting them all and sitting down.

“hey!” kiara said, patting the seat on the bench next to her, gesturing me to sit down.

“where’s y/n?” i ask innocently, genuinely curious.

“she wasnt with you?” pope asks.

“she-she hasn’t been around all day. we thought maybe she was sleeping at yours or something. you mean you havent seen her?” john b asks, furrowing his brows as everyone’s expression turns grave.

rain starts thrashing down, lightning illuminating the sky.

“no. no! i havent seen her..” an uneasy feeling set in my stomach.

“shit. i’m gonna go find her.” jj says, with a determined look on his face that told me we couldnt change his mind.

“jj..” kie said.

“no. her dad is a total dick, we all know that. she’s constantly running over here when they argue. thats like, what, three times a week? it wont hurt to check.” he says, getting up and running down onto his motorbike, immediately getting soaked.

and then, he just sped off. oh boy.

JJ’S POV:

i knew i was going way over the speed limit, but i didnt care. i knew something bad had happened to y/n. i could feel it, and i tried to push the worry gnawing at me down. i sped down the streets and eventually pulled up at y/n’s massive house. ‘kooks.’ i thought to myself. without hesitation, i walked up to the front door, knocking rapidly, (this reminded me of “housekeeping!!” if ykyk) before ringing the doorbell.

“what do you want?” snarled mr l/n, upon seeing me.

“hi sir. i was, uh- wondering if you’d seen y/n? is she here?” i asked, holding back my urge to swear at this dickhead.

“no. she took it upon herself to run away. my cars gone, and she left the garage door open. when you find her, tell her she’s not welcome here.”

he slammed the door shut without another word, leaving me with my own thoughts. i started walking back to the street, when i noticed the garage door a little bit open. i peeked through and saw three surfboards hooked up on the wall, but i didn’t see y/n’s usual one. and then it clicked in my head. she loved surfing! she mustve gone to the beach! wait… the hurricane… i have to go, NOW.

YOUR POV:

waves splashed over you, pulling you further away from shore. a jolt threw you almost off your board, as a surge of pain flew up your body. you looked beside you and saw sharp, jaggedy rocks that your surfboard was now wedged in. turning your head to look at your left leg, you gasped. a large, deep gash was stricken right up it, while scarlett blood seeped out of the wound.

your wet hair clung to the board that was now stained with blood as you lay on it. you felt stupid for it, but you felt somewhat safe wedged between the rocks. this way, you couldnt drift further away. you looked towards the sandy shore, torrential rain disrupting your view. then, you saw lights from a car, turning toward the beach. you could’ve jumped for joy (if you could).

you saw familiar blonde tufts of hair, and could make out the worn out camo shorts he frequently wore.

“JJ!” you screamed with all your might. of course, he couldnt hear you, but he could see you.

he pulled out.. one of your surfboards? he carried it to the waves, laying down on it and surfing through the tallest waves.

“JJ NO, ITS DANGEROUS!” you screeched helplessly.

as he got closer to you, screaming comforting words, one of the largest waves you’d seen towered over him.. and smashed down. jayj had disappeared. lost from view.

“JJ! JJ?” you cried out, tears streaming down your face, and mixing with the rain hammering down onto your cheeks.

A blonde head bobbed up onto the surface, as he gave himself one final push towards you, approaching the rocks. he was coughing furiously, but only cared about reaching you.

another wave washed over you, as you held your arm out for him. he grabbed it greatfully, trying to unhook your board as you held him tightly down, so he wouldnt get swept away.

“there! lets go, get on my board!” he yelled over to you, as you crawled off yours. a furious wave suddenly crashed into you, as you screamed in pure terror and slipped.

suddenly, a pair of strong arms wrapped over you, lifting yourself onto the board. your heart skipped a beat, but you werent too sure if it was because of your near death experience or jj…

“grab the rope, and tie it around you y/n! quick!!” he shouted over the endless crash of the waves and the hammering of the rain ricocheting off of the turquoise board.

you noticed a rope tied around the end of the board, with another bit of rope dangling off of it. you wrapped it around your ankle, tightening it, even though it dug into it painfully.

you and him surfed up waves, while you closed my eyes, too afraid to look, as you held onto jj’s muscular figure. it all seemed like a blur to you.

“untie the rope!” jj advised you.

“what?!” you screamed, confused.

“NOW!”

you quickly let the rope free from your ankle, trusting jj’s worrds.

suddenly, you were flung up into the air by a strong wave, and flung onto.. land?

your eyes seemed stuck together by treacle, as you strained to open them. you coughed and coughed, freeing your lungs of the endless water contained in them. you shivered uncontrollably, your face pale and skin freezing cold. your leg was still bleeding, and it hurt to move, you winced at any sudden movement.

you suddenly crawled around, looking for the boy who had selflessly just saved your life.

“JAYJ?” you shouted, and saw a crumpled figure closer to the tide.

you immediately got up, wincing due to the excruciating pain, but pushing forward, stumbling towards his unconscious figure.

“jj!” you cried out, tears spilling uncontrollably down your cheeks. this was all my fault.. you thought to yourself, as your emotions overtook you.

“jj please wake up.” you cried out, hyperventilating as you peformed cpr, your soaked hair dangling over his face.

sirens sounded in the distance, but you were too panic-stricken to care. you used your mouth endlessly to puff air into his, as you cried and cried, tears dropping onto his pale cheeks.

“ma’m! maam please step back, we’ll take it from here. you’ll suffer from hypothermia.” a cop’s voice shouted from behind you, as a police force came slowly towards you.

you leant back from jayj. your bestfriend. the only one who seemed to understand you. you turned your head back to the cops, as a nice looking woman put a blanket onto you, asking if you could walk.

you saw sarah, john b, pope, and kiara running towards you, and stopping once they saw who you were knelt next to. sarah ran to you, hugging you as a tear slipped down her cheek. you were a frozen mess, bawling your eyes out.

medics rushed over to jj, trying to resuscitate him, as you were slowly lifted up, as a cop and sarah tried to lead you to an ambulance.

you suddenly heard coughing behind you, and kie gasping. you turned and saw a crumpled jj’s chest heaving, and you bolted back towards him, ignoring the searing pain in your leg.

“oh jj.” you said, your voice barely a whisper, as you crouched next to him, tears dropping off of your face, as his hand reached up to your cheek, wiping them away as he smiled weakly.

“i love you.” you whispered softly to him. and suddenly, he brought you into a kiss. fireworks exploded in your stomach, as you broke the kiss.

“i love you too.”

your foreheads met, as you lent against eachother, both of you smiling at one another, as he placed a soft kiss on your cheek.

A/N: im not too sure how to feel about this tbh.. i hope you enjoyed it though!! i listened to noah kahan on shuffle while i wrote this 😜

[avocado-writing]

hi!! ive.. gone and read so much of ur work in one sitting. its all so much to take in, IN A GOOD WAY, and i absolutely adore every single word

would u be so kind.. to bless my angst durge needs..

Durge Resist tav, was strong for all until the brain was finally defeated but now, with what she believed her only purpose/chance at redemption (brain), they can't help but feel utterly empty and,, unredeemed. They mourn all those they have robbed from this world, nameless, and countless numbers of people they robbed of the life that they were now being given the chance at living. Surely they don't deserve it(Is what they think..)

They are pathetically in love, and if they deserve anything, its to tell their special one just how much they are adored before casting themselves out of society (or taking their own life, if ur comfortable writing such things-)

Rolan, Dammon, Zevlor, maybe even Rugan if u write for that loser LMAO. just.. whoever u write for, its the tieflings i adore most ahegege

if this didnt make sense IM SORRY i havent slept in so long and sleep is not choosing me. i just crave angst, perhaps with a happy ending if u would indulge me so..!! thank u if u read this, so much!!

hi, I don't write fics about suicide, but here's the tiefling bachelors with a durge who's planning to disappear after the absolute is gone and giving them one final confession:

Dammon

senses something is wrong when you take him aside for a heart-to-heart.

it isn't that you avoid these sorts of moments per se, he just knows you only affirm your affections when something big is going to happen (you did it before you went off to fight the elder brain)

he holds your hand tightly, gets you to look him in the eye.

"I love you, no matter what, and I never want to be without you. tell me you'll be there when I wake up tomorrow. in our bed. swear it to me."

you can see the utter adoration he looks at you with, and you think: maybe you aren't so bad if a man like this can truly love you.

the next morning Dammon wakes up. you're not in bed next to him. he panics, getting to his feet - only to find you in the kitchen making breakfast.

he's never been so relieved. walks up behind you and wraps you in his arms. he loves you so dearly, and will keep on loving you until you believe yourself worthy of it.

Rolan

Rolan doesn't quite understand why you're having this great outburst, but chalks it down to emotions running high after the final battle.

says goodnight, kisses you, and heads off to his tower - he has a lot of admin to do after all.

the next morning he comes to meet you at the elfsong, only to be met with the realisation that you aren't there. he curses himself for not understanding why you were so melancholic last night.

he tracks you down. uses all of his resources to scry on you, grease palms with the money the tower has. he's up all night for weeks. Cal and Lia worry about him but he is determined.

and find you he does. manages to locate where you're hiding out, a little hamlet in the middle of nowhere. you burst into tears when you see him, and he just pulls you into his arms.

"come home with me."

you do, moving into his tower. and you never leave him again.

Zevlor

immediately knows something is wrong. takes you to a quiet place where the two of you can be alone and talk things out.

discusses how he feels like being a failure for breaking his oath -- but you always saw past that. saw the goodness in his soul. he wishes you would treat yourself with that kindness.

you begin to cry, softly at first, and then with sobs which wrack your whole body. he holds you ever so tightly.

"I love you. you are not who you were. you have strived to be better every day, fought against your own family, and always chosen a righteous path. you deserve to be happy. I'd want to make you happy, if you'd let me."

eventually your tears run dry and you look up into his face. his eyes are so sincere. he means every word.

when you kiss him, it's a promise: that you're with him for good. that whatever comes next, it will be faced together.

[8um8le]

Little special post of cat and earth interacting even though they are not in the same universe :-))

also bonus text from the little bot under the cut:

Hellooo everyone, I’m earth! A reality tv star!, one of the main cast members of “space friends” 

Don’t get me confused with the other three, Cataclysm and Geo, but it wont be hard to get us mixed up since I’m the most handsome hahah.

This is a little exclusive on our little freak-show, right now I’m not on air for “Space Friends” so I’m not tied down by rules.

y’know it’s easy being such a talented bot that good at everything like me, so when the shows on, the team likes to add misfortune on me at random for the sake of making things more funny, like making trip on a pebble in front of a crowd, or have my luck completely disappear, humiliation to be more “relate-able”, I MEAN I DIDNT SPEND MY ENTIRE LIFE TO BE TOP OF THE CLASS TO BE A CLOWN- anyways

Firstly I should tell you a little summary of the show. Sooo, we’re basically like galactic clowns, we entertain people in a variety of ways. It can be on our earth, or a complete different dimension, the genre can change from time to time, depending on our prompt.

Sometimes we just film normal days at our office/ headquarters, doing some goofy shenanigans, or even our own homes. Oh I should mention, I live in a forest, Comet lives in a cave, Moon lives in the ocean and sun lives in a volcano. 

Although we do all our stunts, we still need some help from our talented team of individuals for censorship. We can’t have any swear words, or heavy gore on our show, but with movie magic our team seamlessly changes the audio and visuals in a perfectly convincing way!

They go real easy on our guest compared to our main cast, we have a whole bunch of rules! 

That’s it, see you soon!

[quodekash]

ECLIPSE INCORRECT QUOTES

because that’s when you know im obsessed with it

(disclaimer: I meant to do this literally two weeks ago but I didn’t think I had enough but I stopped for a bit and my adhd brain promptly forgot about it for a week and then remembered and then forgot for another week, and honestly i meant to actually make this for like a month before that but i didnt actually start finding the quotes until two weeks ago, but it’s fine I’m here now)

—- —-

Akk: Ayan is a little bitch.  Wat: Why?  Akk: Number one, he’s little. Number two, he’s a bitch.

(episode 1-3 core)

—- —-

Namo: The floor is lava!  Kan: *helps Thua onto the counter*  Akk: *kicks Wat off the sofa*  Ayan: *lays on the floor*  Namo: ...Are you okay?  Ayan: No. 

(im 80% certain this is a deleted scene from the beach episodes)

—- —-

*Akk and Ayan are planning to break in somewhere*  Akk: We need to distract the guards.  Ayan: Right.  Akk: What are we gonna do?  Ayan: I'm gonna break their elbows while you poke their eyes.  Akk:  Ayan:  Akk: Deal. 

—- —-

Akk: Aye, can you help me? All of my clothes keep disappearing for some reason.  Ayan, wearing a hoodie that's 5 times bigger than his size: Spooky. 

—- —-

Akk: I'm going to take a shower, I'll be right back.  Ayan: Why are you telling me this, I don't care.  Ayan, right after Akk leaves the room: I miss him already.

—- —-

Aye: Fuck capitalism. It's a rigged system that keeps us poor and it isn't fair. You shouldn't need to work three jobs to afford basic necessities.  Aye, playing Monopoly: Sorry, if you wanted to win you should have tried not being poor. 

—- —-

Akk: I fell—  Aye: From heaven?  Akk: No, I literally fell—  Aye: In love with me the moment you saw me?  Akk: MY ARM IS BROKEN!  Aye: Okay, but do you think I'm pretty? Be honest. 

—- —-

Aye: Are we fighting or flirting?  Akk: I'm pinning you against a wall with my hand around your neck-  Aye: Your point? 

—- —-

Thua: Two bros!  Kan: Chillin' in a hot tub!  Thua and Kan, in unison: Zero feet apart 'cause we're GAY AS FUCK! 

—- —-

Akk: I owe you one.  Aye: That’s ok. You can just date me and we’ll call it even. 

—- —-

Thua: I want to kiss you.  Kan, not paying attention: What?  Thua: I said if you die, I wont miss you. 

(its okay thua, he's not ignoring you, he has adhd. just kiss him, he'll be happy, trust me)

—- —-

Kan: And now for a gay update with Akk and Aye.  Akk: Getting gayer.  Kan: Thank you, Akk. 

—- —-

Wat: So… I’ve seen you’ve been spending a lot of time with Thua recently.  Kan: No, Wat, it's not what it looks like, I swear.  Wat: Oh really? So no reason for me to be jealous?  Kan: No! You’re the only one for me.  Wat: Is that so?  Kan: I promise! Thua and I are just dating, okay? He’s my boyfriend.  Wat: So there are no best-friends-feelings involved?  Kan: You are still my one and only best friend! He’s just the love of my life, nothing more!  Wat: But I’m still the platonic love of your life, right?  Kan: Of course bro!  Wat: Bro...  Thua: What the- 

—- —-

*at 3am*  Kan: *runs into Akk’s room and turns on the light* Wake up sleepyhead!  Akk: *wakes up* Dude!  Kan: *cackles*  Aye: *sits up from where he was sleeping behind akk* What the fuck, Kan? Kan: *jaw drops* Wait WHAT- 

(the original vine is now playing over and over in my head and its probably my favourite vine and its literally them and i love it so much gerjdhgbrh)

—- —-

Kan: This totally sucks, man.  Akk: This is horrible.  Kan: Yeah, I know, I mean look at everything the curse did to those rulebreakers today.  Akk: No, it’s not that, it’s Aye. Akk: It’s just like, I can’t get him out of my head and every time I look at him I have these pains in my chest, and I just know it’s his fault, that bitch! 

(AVPM QUOTE LETS GOOO and yes it is perfection and is exactly canon i take no criticism)

—- —-

Kan: Did Thua just tell me he loved me for the first time?  Akk: Yeah, he did.  Kan: And did I just do finger guns back?  Akk: Yeah, you did. 

(oh you sweet sweet maybe-bisexual man)

—- —-

Aye: *finds a note* Hmm, whats this?  Kan: Hey, that's mine! *tries to grab it*  Aye: Aww, it's a love note for Thua?  Kan: No-  Aye: *opens it*  Aye:  Kan:  Aye: I can't read this. 

(is it because the contents are too explicit to read or because kan's handwriting is awful? you decide)

—- —-

Kan: So are you gonna explain how the hell you crashed my car?  Akk: Well we were driving and there was a deer in the road, so I said "Aye, deer!"  Kan: ...And what did you say?  Aye: ..."Yes, Honey?" 

—- —-

Kan: I love you.  Thua: I love you too. I've waited so long to hear you say that.  *Kan and Thua kiss passionately*  Wat, to Akk: You owe me 20 dollars. 

(HES BEEN SAYING IT FOR YEARS AND THEY FINALLY DID IT. IMAGINE THE VICTORIOUS FEELING WAT FELT IN THAT MOMENT. NOT TO MENTION THE JOY AT HIS SHIP FINALLY GETTING TOGETHER. BRO IS AS PHENOMENAL AS TIW AND I LOVE HIM SO FREAKING MUCH (someone write a crossover fic where tiw and wat get together and plot their ships' getting together. if someone has already written this, please tell me)

—- —-

Kan: Time sensitive question how flirt boy.  Akk: Throw rocks at he.  Aye: Hot Dogs.  Wat: Kill him.  Kan: Thanks guys. 

—- —-

Kan, trying to sound happy: *about Aye and Thua* They’d make a cute couple, huh? Akk, holding back tears: They certainly are standing next to each other. 

(first few episodes core. specifically when aye is whispering in thua's ear and theyre both just standing to the side watching it happen and completely unaware that this means they are gay and in love with one of them)

—- —-

Thua: I'm so happy, I could kiss you!  Kan: Um...Neat.  *later*  Kan, lying face down on their bed: I said "Neat," Akk. Who the fuck says neat these days? It's not neat to say neat but I said it anyways because I'm fucking stupid.  Akk, reading a book: Don't beat yourself up too much, Kan. Everyone gets nervous sometimes. Remember what I did when Aye confessed his love for me?  Kan: Didn't you thank him?  Akk: *closes the book and looks at the ceiling* I fucking thanked him. 

—- —-

Kan: How is the most beautiful person in the world?  Thua: *blushing* I—  Aye, butting into the conversation: Akk is perfect, thanks for asking. 

—- —-

Wat: Do you love Kan?  Thua: Yeah, I do.  Wat: Akk! I told you I knew it! You owe me 100 baht!  Akk: We all love Kan. You should've asked if he was IN love with him.  Thua: I thought that was implied.  Akk: ...  Wat: ...  Thua, looking straight at Akk: Congrats Wat, you just won 100 baht. 

—- —-

Akk: Are you trying to seduce me?  Aye: Why, are you seducible? 

—- —-

Aye: Jail is no fun. I’ll tell you that much.  Wat: Oh, you’ve been?  Aye: Once. In Monopoly. 

—- —-

Wat: When I was a kid, Kan told me that the paper strip that’s in the chocolate kisses were edible and I ate them with the chocolate for a year.  Teacher Sani: They are!  Wat: FOR REAL?  Sani: No! Why did you fall for it again? 

—- —-

Thua, on a random band name generator: Oooo! They Might Be Depressed Horses! That about sums up my friend group. 

—- —-

Akk: Being gay is a constant battle between "I wish to sit on a window bench with my lover, our legs tangling as we listen to the birds" and "Hey, let's go throw rocks at fascists" and I think that's very sexy of us.  Ayan: If the window's open and you time it right, you can do both. 

—- —-

Ayan: Hey, Akk, what do you think it would be like if we had kids?  Akk: What would it be like? Inconvenient, mostly.  Ayan: No, I mean, what would they be like, the kids? You ever think about it?  Akk: Can't really say I have.  Ayan: You know, for someone as eccentric as yourself, you can be boring as fuck sometimes.  Akk: Sorry, Aye. For what it's worth, I'm picturing them now. A boy and a girl. Two perfect little freaks of nature raised by people who've clearly got no business bringin' up anybody. 

—- —-

Ayan: Talk dirty to me, baby~  Akk: The dishes.  Ayan: Wh-  Akk: They’ve been there for 4 days and it’s your turn to wash them. You still haven’t cleaned them and I have asked you to do so several times. 

—- —-

Ayan: My hands are cold.  Akk: Here, let me hold them.  Ayan: My lips are cold too. Akk: *covers Ayan's mouth with his hand* 

—- —-

Akk: Okay, I’m going to get the wedding cake.  Ayan: Perfect, while you do that I’ll check on the ring bear.  Akk: ...  Akk: You mean ring bearER, right?  Ayan: ...  Akk: Look me in the eyes and tell me you are not going to bring a dangerous wild animal to our wedding. 

—- —-

Ayan: Since we're in a relationship now, your clothes are my clothes too. Don't ask me why I have your shirt on, this is our shirt.  Akk: Fine, but when I come strutting in with your fuzzy socks I don't want to hear shit. 

—- —-

Akk: You are the love of my life and I would do anything within reason to make you happy.  Ayan: I would be happy if you ate, stayed hydrated and got a reasonable amount of sleep.  Akk: I said within reason, Ayan. How about I murder that guy?  Ayan: So murder is in reason but proper self care isn't?  Akk: Well, duh. What kind of question is that? 

—- —-

Ayan: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine.  Akk: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again.  Ayan: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns??  Akk: Is it working? 

—- —-

Akk: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine.  Ayan: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again.  Akk: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns??  Ayan: Is it working? 

—- —-

and now, for my personal favourite...

Ayan: Akk is playing hard to get.  Ayan: Little does he know, I'm a master at playing hard to get rid of. 

—- —-

that's all for now, but i promise, i will be back

[oh-for-fic-sake-library]

Dont make me do this

Masterlist

Summary: The chosen one has fallen, disappearing into the dark, following sidious. And though it is your duty to end him you just cant, why? Why should you kill him when ll he had done was be human? He gave everything for the love of his life. And you would do the same, you abandoned him once, and you will not make that mistake again, even if it meant following him into the shadows.

Warnings: jedi bashing? Swearing, angst, poorly writen gore/graphic injury.

A/N: This is a purely self indulgent fic based around unrequited/hidden love and HE DIDNT DESERVE THE FUCKING SUIT! All that precious little bean did was try to save his wife a baby 😭😭😭

"Obi wan, we have to do this" you pleaded quietly, trying not to let padme hear you from your position in the cock pit. Your eyes searched his desperately, praying he'd see reason and agree to help you. You couldnt do this alone. Your prayers were unanswered Instead you felt ice prickle in your veins. shuddering under the intense glare the jedi master sent you. Youd never seen him so... angry before

"This is madness! You are letting your feelings cloud you;" he scolded quickly wiping the rage from his face trying not to succumbto his own emptions and be called out as a hypocrite.

"Damn fucking right i am! I am letting it get in the way, because being fucking emotionless drove him away, drove him to this." you snapped back your own desperation driving you to a furious frustration.

"Thea please now is not the time for this;" obi-wan sighed once again trying to brush you off as he often did. As everyone did. But this time you refused to be ignored, this was too damn important. You leant over slamming both hands down on the console letting your force crackle ominously around you.

Obi-wan stiffened at the display of hot fury. Something he'd heard mace and yoda raise concern about in meetings, yet he'd never seen this for himself. It was unsettling to see you so riled up. For the first time in his life he saw somthing else in you. Something frightening.

"It is the only time for this! Obi-wan, Anakin has struggled all his life in the order. He feels much more then anyone i know. He doesn't feel sadness only devastation, not happiness but elation, never fondness but love. He always has. And he felt completely and utterly alone" obi-wan tried to argue, he opened his mouth wantingnto find the words to counter you. But he couldnt, you were right, Anakin sought out connections. He didnt mean to but he did, subconsciously he always needed to cling to something, someone.

And in pushing him away, setting clear boundaries between them in an effort to stop himself becoming a father figure to anakin he hadnt been there to stop this madness. He'd failed to curb anakins need for attachments. Perhaps if he had allowed anakin to latch onto him as the boy wanted, he wouldnt have unknowingly sought out sidious, or you or persued padme. He could have happily continued his path as a jedi along side his master.

"We did that, we isolated him. Or made himmfeel isolated. He felt like he couldnt come to us for help obi-wan. He thought we'd judge him, that we would abandon him."

"He was terrified that the one person he loves, the only person in the world he could truly be ungaurded around was about to be torn from him. He made mistakes but so did we..." you traild off slumping back against the wall of the ship feeling your own shame wash over you. The many times youd seen anakin not himself, but let him brush you off, telling you he was just tired or giving some other generic excuse. Should you have pressed him harder? Pushed for answers, made him snap at you and perhaps get the truth. Was that what he needed?

"He slaughtered the younglings! He's become sith, and you want to pity him, you dont know what your asking!" Your self doubt was cut short as obi-wan growled in anguish. He was so torn, hurt by what had happened. Maye more so then you, he probably felt even more responsible for this then you did. He practically raised anakin. But no mtter how much this hurt him you were not about to let him take it out on you. No. He didnt get to do that, he wasnt the only person hurting, nd you werent about to become an emotional punching bag for him.

"I am asking you to fucking help me. I am asking you not to do this, dont fight him. He doesnt need an adversary. He needs help, he need us to accept him, to be honest with him and guide him" you snapped back watching with a tightening chest as obi-wan pulled back slightly. Before shaking his head scoffing at you, trying to calm his irritation. He spun away from you flicking a switch on the control panel before ducking his head pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Accept him? How. How can we accept this! How can you stand there and tell us we need to join him!" When he finally spoke again his voice rose quickly. You faltered not used to seei g anything but mild disapproval from him. Never had he bordered anger like this. You knew it was only natural, a mix of fear, disappointment and dread. He felt betrayed.

"Because thats what we need to do to fucking bring him back! I want to bring him back and we cant do that if we arnet beside him. For fuck sake this is the orders fault as much as it is sidious'... its our fault obi-wan. We ignored the signs, we... took Anakin for granted assumed he would cope alone so left him to his own devices" you managed to keep calm, trying to reason with obi-wan.

"We nurtured his turning by allowing his marriage to go undeteced we should have reported it;" obi-wan didnt get to finsh. You were narling in his face before he could move an inch.

"Dont you dare. DONT YOU DARE! Padme is the only reason he didnt fall sooner and you know it!" Your temper flared as you pointed in the direction of padme somewhere in the ship. Youd put up with a lot, but blaming padme because he couldnt stomach the thought of failing in his teachings was not one of them.

"And now look! He turned anyway! He fell Thea." He spoke quieter this time realising he may have begun to be unnecessarily harsh.

"Yeah he did. He fell right into the hands of sidious, because we couldnt catch him ourselves. Joining the dark side isnt the answer... even if we were just pretending so we can make him see the light, sidious would know." You offered once more, still trying to make obi-wan come around to your way of thinking. Surely it was better to try and save Anakin by nymeans then to just go and kill him? Didnt obi-wan love him enough to try?

"Im sorry but i have to do this. He has to see reason or..."

"Careful Obi-wan that almost sounded like an absolute." You hissed cruely making him snap his gaze to you. Eyes hardening as he took in your stnce, the way your force rippled around you sinisterly.

"Thea" he warned gently, trying to calm you and use that legendary charm he was famed for. But you sneered at him instead. All you could think was how easily the jedimaster was giving up, how he threw away his brother so quickly and would turn on him when there were other ways.

"You don even care how hypocritical you just sounded do you? The same old jedi double standard" Youd scoffed rolling your eyes, unable to The hypocrisy and intolerance wouldnt change.

"Please try to see things clearly" he almost pleaded, but unfortunately it was too late. Youd made your decision, and he had made his. All you could do now was watch things crumble around you.

"Oh trust me I do. i didnt before, but i finally understand. You dont see it. Do you? Its the order. Its poison. It's infected your mind like a sickness. They made sure the order means more to you then actual living breathing people." Your words began to twist, prod and slice at him but once you started you couldnt stop. Wouldnt stop.

"That no one in the galaxy should be more important or more powerfull then the jedi. Its funny really. The sith empire will rise again; more powerfull then last time and it was pssible because of the jedi orders hubris and even now the jedi are so blinded by their pride they refuse to admit it" your eyes locked with obi-wan's pwn pained gaze. He didnt respnd, you werent sure if it was because he was hurt by your words orif he thought this would blow over, that you were just throwing a tantrum. After a few more moments of silence he sighed, opeing his mouth to speak but it was too late.

"I dont want to hear it. Just know if you raise your saber, i will to." You anounced drawing a line in the sand before gettingnup, leaving the cockpit ignoring his calls to come back and talk this out. But there was no talking. No reconciliation. The time of the jedi had ended, the order was dead. and unfortunately obi-wan wasnt smart enough to admite defeat and abandon the sunken ship.

You watched from Inside the ship as anakin and obi-wan dueled across mustafar's boiling terrain. You yelled in fury obi-wan was cunning, after youd left him in the cockpitt to mull over your words he'd removed your acsess to the doors. And left with pad,e quickly making sure you were kept on the ship.

Your heart broke as the fight continued, eyes watering as two people you caredmfor deeply camemto blows in a brutal battle. Padme was unconscious on the floor by the ship. It had been frightening seeing first hand what anakin was capable of, what he was willing to do to those he belived betrayed him. A tiny part of you wanted to stay on the ship out of fear. You were scared he now thought you were a backstabber. That youd forsaken him as padme and obi-wan had.

No. no you couldnt allow it. You wont let him think so little of you.

"3-po! Quick we have to get padme, come on we have to help her" you pleaded motioning to the woman sprawled out on the floor. Your words drew the droids attention and suddenly he was stepping towards the back of the ship all the while continuing his usual anxious rambling.

As soon as the door was open you bolted, running past the droid full speed stopping beside padme checking her over. She was unconscious- maybe passed out? But not dead. Thankfully Anakin would never forgive himself or obi-wan if padme had died here like this.

"3-po you handle this, take her to the ship and look after her" you called over your shoulder to the droid ignoring the complaints from him.

You raced across the surface of mustafar unclipping your lightsaber as you climber a small burning dune of sand only to freeze at the scene. Obi-wan had anakin trapped, the former was being backed up to the flowing lava. They were yelling at one another, screaming. Anakin was meeting his master blow for blow but Obi-wan wasnt relenting or holding back instead he was leading anakin to the river. Anakin hadn't noticed, he was to angry, he wasnt paying attention.

You ran, jumping, leaping forward trying to close the distance between them before it was too late. Your anger spiked fueling you, urging you to go faster. Obi-wan was going to throw him in the lava. He wasnt going to kill him himself. He didnt have the guts to do it cleanly himself!

Obi-wan brought his saber down in a powerfull blow tipping Anakin off balance . And with that the chosen one began to fall.

"NO ANAKIN!" the scream tore from your throat in such a mournful bellow it hurt your vocal cords. Both men looked towards you startled by you. Your arrival destracted obi-wan enough for you to stretch out to the force as Anakin fell into the molten lava.

He screamed in excruciating pain as one arm, shoulder, leg and the side of his chest became burned but you yanked on him. Your force was quick enough to pull him from his fiery grave before it could engulf him. And it was strong enough to put some distance between him and obi wan. Anakin landed heavily out of harms way quivering, hissing and moaning as the pain of his wounds began settling.

Anakin was alive. He was alive. Thank the force youd got out of that ship.

You didnt stop. Even though Anakin was alive, you didnt stop your charge. No. Instead to ignited your own saber and jumped over Anakin before lunging at obi-wan.

"Wait what are you doing? You said youd help" obi-wan yelled raising his saber only just managing to block your own. He staggered back, unprepared for the power youd put behind the blow. He waited for you to pull back but you didnt. Instead you pushed on keeping your blade locked with his, digging your heals into the rock below you and using your weight to throw him back a few steps creating some distancebetween the two of you.

"I said id raise my saber if you do. I never said it'd be pointed at Anakin" you panted pointing your saber to him threateningly.

His eyes widened, realising you had intended to kill him. He glanced to the purple of your saber. He knew what it meant, had always known what it meant. You were comfortable useing the dark side if you had to. It was unspoken but purple sabers were somewhat feared in the order. It meant you had afinty for both light and dark. It meant you were a different kind of jedi. Strong, dangerous. Suddenly he felt sick, the beginings of dread and icey fear curling around him. It was as they had always feared. You were turning. Not just Anakin, you were going to the dark aswell.

"No. No! Thea dont do this! Dont follow him down this road" obi-wan pleaded lowering his saber shaking his head at you, hopeing, praying you will stop before its to late.

You widened your stance before casting a look over your shoulder to Anakin. As silly as it was you were uncomfortable with him behinde you. He was clearly stressed, angered beyond the point of reasoning. Your eyes locked with his and he frowned. He was trying to figure out if you were an ally in this or not. You nodded subtly to him.

"Youll be okay Anakin. I'll help you with your wounds i promise just... just sit tight okay?" You said glancing at the burns on his side, the bionic prostetic was fucked, the metal and carbon melted and twisted, his fingers all stuck in odd angles and fused as if he had cramp. It was probably where the caseing was melted and shrunk pressing on the components below. It was completely useless now.

Your gaze lifted with a wince the top of his arm and shoulder was almost steaming from the way the intense heat that had caught it. His skin was blitering, torn and sagging away from his actual muscles and tendons. He was sitting down at an odd angle, his arm jutted away from his body, avoiding the same agonising blisters and open wonuds on his arm that also decorated one side of his chest, down his ribs and abdomen.

He only uttered your name in response. Hissing as he shifted trying to inch closer. His eyes told you all you needed to know. He was relieved you were here, thankfull you saved him. Yet determined, angry. He wanted to kill obi-wan you could sense it. See it in him. He was frustrated because he knew how close he'd come to failing. How close he'd been to death. Yet he still wanted to fight. But he also knew he couldnt take on obi-wan again in this state.

"Thea Move!" Obi-wan demanded angrily drawing your attention away from Anakin. You growled locking your shoulders and tensing, anticipating a strike from the jedi master.

"Move Thea please, dont make me do this" you scoffed keeping your eyes on him as he poised his saber for another attack. Both of you prepared to do what must be done.

"Im not making you do anything, your doing it all on your own. Leave obi-wan. Its over, the orders dead. Just... just go" you hissed feeling the irritation grow with obi-wan. He couldnt see it! He was blinded by faith in an order that never was.

"You know i cant do that i cant walk away from this" the jedi master pleade, as if tryingnto make it seem as if his hands were truley tied. And that right there was the problem. The jedi order did this to people. Took away choices, forced decision onto people claiming it was for the greater good. When in actual fact it was just to protect the orders values. They belived that there was no other way, all other veiws were immoral. It was almost amusing the amount of hypocrisy the order spewed, the absolutes they enforced despite only sith deal in absolutes.

"Yes you can, just go. While you still can. I dont want to kill you but i will." Your words were almost pleading, yet too harsh to be considered as such. You needed him to just walk away.

"Youll really do this? Really stand by him? After what he has done! Join his madness?!" You winced as he tried to manipulate you, twisting the knife in the still raw open wound. Dredgeing up the worst atrocities Anakin had just commited to try and sway you. Did you agree with the younglings slaughter? No. Your not a monster. But whats done is done, and you knew Anakin would regret that untill the day he died. When he dropped out of what ever manic fury he was in the younglings will haunt him forever. Thats his burden, his punishment, his guilt to bare. Not yours.

"Yes. I wont abandon him when he needs me. I wont let him suffer alone. Not again" you called out louder then intended, you heard Anakins faint gasp as you confirmed your intentions. You felt his force signature lift from behinde you. Perking up with a warmth you knew to be his own relief and joy. He was happy you werent going to turn on him.

"You.. you love him. All this time you've been in love with him. Youll be sith fall into the darkside for him? This is why we dont love! This is the reason!" Obi-wan's words were small at first, doubtfull and confused. But quickly became frustrated accusations. You met his gaze and drew a breath choosing not to respond which made the jedi master snarl in frustration.

You had to look away from him, casting your eyes back to Anakin who had been torn between watching the scene before him and trying to ease his pain with deep breaths and force healing, that he wasnt exactly the best at.

But Anakin had heard, you wished he hadnt but he had. Looking up with a startled face, locking eyes with you questioning if it was true with a single gaze. You tore your eyes from him, fightened of what youd see in the next few moments. You didnt want him to know, didnt want him to see how far you had fallen. You were ashamed, your love was forbidden. But you loved your best friend, your comrade, brother. You loved a man who belonged to another. And it ate you alive.

"Dont you see? Dont you both see love feeds the darkness! It pushes jedi untill we are irrational and we fall untill we are sith;" Obi-wan began another rant, desperately trying to turn things around and scold you both into an epiphany. As if you both would suddenly stop holding people dear and your love would dissappear.

Obi-wans words seemed to be the final straw, he had found your tipping point. Scolding you like a child about pride and responsibility when he himself couldnt even admit the order had fucked up. That they had been cruel and negligent.

"I am not a jedi! I am not a sith! I am a fucking human being obi-wan. A free, thinking, feeling, angry, tired human being who has had just about enough of the orders propegander cultist shit!" Your scream echoed in the valley so loud it rendered the roar of mustafar almost silent in comparison. A small amount of your force rippled around you shifting the sand and rocks about your feet. Your rage had come to a boil, the darkness within you flickering awake. But you refused to stamp it out, refused to deny it this time.

"Thea.." the jedi master stepped back lowering his saber in shock as your aura darkened before him finally releasing what felt like a lifetime of pent up rage and fear. The fury and down right evil radiating from you was enough for him to rethink this battle. You were glorious and frightening to behold.

"Your right. Your right I love Anakin! I love you! I love padme and ahsoka and stars forbid i even hold a love for my master!" You continued shouting, loosing yourself in the truth of your own emotion. Welcoming the anger and frustration for the first time in your life. Finally, finally letting yourself drown in it.

"But i also hate. I hate master yoda for not listening to me when i sought reassurance, instead of helping me he gave me riddles and kept me silent. I hate that i was never allowed to question anything, i hate that i was expected to give up so much for so little. That my life would become meaningless just because i could use the force; it fucking condemned me! Condemned all of us!" Your words spewed like venom they were acidic on your tongue so much so you had to spit them out to so they wouldnt poison you further.

"I hate that i have become a fucking gaurd dog of the elite! That i spend my days protecting crooked senators instead of helping the civilians i vowed to protect and i loath; no detest the order and its stupid fucking rules, rules that were created out of fear" you clenched your saber tight in your fist untill the ridges of the hilt threatened to cut into your skin. You shook, quivered dragging sharp breaths through your teeth as your own words resounded around you. The fear, hate, shame and guilt youd always felt releasing at once in once torrent of regret.

"You dont know what your saying;"

"Yes i do! i said it and i meant it i hate the order. Hate it Obi-wan! And im fucking relived that this is the end of it because its needed to fucking die for years!" You shut him down quickly with a snarl, inching forward as another more powerful wave of your now tainted force escaped in yet another blast towards him despite you trying to hold it back. It was impossible, the air around you was charged with it. Crackling and twisting in an invisible violent display of power.

You closed your eyes pulling yourself back from what ever edge you were teetering on. Trying to calm yourself and draw some deep breaths. You didnt want to loose control, not like this but... but you didnt want to lie to yourself anymore or pretend. You were a human, you were entitled to feel your feelings.

Obi-wan watched in horror as your saber rattled in your hand, shuddering violently in your grip for a few long seconds untill it faltered. He felt sick to his stomach as the blade transformed before his eyes. Red seeped from the hilt, consuming the purple of your blade with greed. It was over, there was no coming back from that. Your kyber had absorbed the hate and malice. He coudlnt pull you from the dark side now. You were lost.

Even Anakin was shocked never seeing such a thing happen before. He knew how it happened but never once thought youd bleed your crystal. You were always so controlled and carefull with your saber and handling your kyber. Perhaps this was why? You were close to the dark and it wouldnt have taken much to slip and fall. What shocked him the most was that you hadnt even realised what youd done. Was it was so natural for you to feel this rage that you didnt even notice it properly? You didnt cast a second thought to what might happen to your kyber?

You began speaking again, this time clamer. But still on the cusp of pure unadulterated rage. The frightening female rage that could stop a man in his tracks with a single 'no' still oblivious to the new red hue of your blade.

"Between the hate, love and frustration most of all i am sick. Sick and tired of this galaxy and everyone in it trying to contain those gifted with the force. Just because the force chose us to wield it; doesnt mean we have to be fucking soldiers or pawns or or slaves to someone elses doctrines" you explained revealing just what you thought the jedi truley were. Slaves.

You heard Anakin from behind you, repeating the word gently in a strange disbelief. As if he himself had never associated the two. But you felt the realisation. The moment his own anger spiked before knosediving into a deep depressed disappointment. He had replaced slavery for slavery. And he'd never even noticed.

"You.. you have been straying? these? Thea how long has this...." obi-wan summarised, not even angry at you. How could he be? This was the orders failing. For a moment you thought you could see understanding. That he accepted the order hadnt just failed to understand and protect Anakin, but you aswell. How many others? How many jedi hated the order and were just too scared to sya it? How many people had stayed silent just so they could remain with their loved ones and not be exiled?

"Longer than him. As long as i can remember I..." your words trailed off. Once again shame and doubt cluding you. This was difficult, for the first timemyou were being honest with yourself, with obi-wan and Anakin. It was daunting letting everything out like this, feeling true emotions willingly. Youd been trained not to, itgoes against everything youve been brought up to belive.

"Thea? Why did you never say anything?" Anakin called from behind you finally managing to stand and breath through the pain, all be it unsteady and lopsided, his uninjured arms curled below his burned one.

"I couldnt. I never wanted to admit it... anakin you? Had your own doubts if I'd said something? I didnt want anyone to know my real thoughts. Or influence you." You uttered slowly still coming down from your rage, inching yourself back into a calmer state of mind. Somehow your outburst had stopped the raging war between the jedi master and Knight.

Or maybe obi-wan wasnt attacking because he knew itd be useless. A master jedi would struggle taking on one dark side user, let alone two. It was clear both you and Anakin had embraced your afinty for the dark side to certain degrees. You were both unpredictable now and obi-wan probably wouldnt best you both.

You tried to ingor the flutter of pride, you made a jedi master question his own strength and resolve. It wasnt a stretch to say he might even fear battleing you now youd begun your decent into the so called darker aspects of the force

"There is only the force and it is grey. It is balance, but it is power and we all use it to gain victory. The force is blameless and we are all manipulators. Thats it. Nothing else you either use it or you dont. Everything in the force can be used for good or evil." Anakin hummed pondering the words in a very un-anakin like way. He never seemed one for deep thinking or philosophical nonsense. But he seemed to be taking in your points weighing them up against one another.

"Dont you see obi-wan we twisted it, us. We made it what it is and use the force as an excuse to control one another. And if you force me to choose between slavery in the light and freedom in the dark?" You turned from Anakin and began pleading for your friend and teacher to understand your point. He had to, even if he didnt like it or agree you had to make him know of your reasoning. That you werent ust an evil woman driven by a need for power and vengeance.

"I choose the dark, just like Anakin. And honestly i chose it long ago... i was just scared of loosing what was most important to me. Scared to break the chains" you glanced to Anakin again unable to keep your self from checking on him. You were worried, concered and anxious to see if he was angry or disgusted by the way you felt about him. But he didnt give any indication, he was lost innhis own thoughts and didnt seem to aware of what was going on in that moment.

But then again he was probably overwhelmed. In the last few hours he'd betrayed the jedi, stormed the temple, slaughtered the younglings and jedi, almost killed padme and his unborn, fought his master, almost been burned alive and then had to deal with your hidden feelings coming to light.

"Thea please;" obi-wan tried again holding out his hand to you, trying to offer you a path back into whats left of the jedi. And it felt like the final attempt. He looked conflicted and exhausted.

You shook your head and stepped back as if he was trying to poison you. And in a way he was, he wanted to draw you into something youd only just managed to truely escape. He was still a slave he just couldnt see it. You pitied him in a way. He was too far gone and would never ever be free.

"No. I wont warn you again kenobi. You need to Leave now. And do not seek us out again" your voice didnt waver. You didnt flinch or stutter. Though the strength was just a mask. Inside you were crumbling, it shouldnt have come to this. The order should have just faded away like all relics of the past. But the jedi were greedy in their own way, stubborn. They refused to change, belived there was no need to ever compromise and for that hubris they had paid dearly.

Obi-wan didnt say anything, what could he say as you severed every connection you had with him. Every familiarity gone in a instant. He flicked his gaze from you to anakin and back again before disengaging his lightsaber and backed away. And then he was gone, falling out of sight behind the dunes.

You stayed alert until, you saw the ship take off and felt you and anakin were alone. Only then did you finally disengage your own saber and relax, collapsing to your knees taking a moment to come to terms with what had just happened. You were out. Free, free to feel and love and hate, free to decide whats best for you, live on your own terms with your own beliefs.

Tears began streaming down your face. This wasnt what you thought itd be, wasnt what you feared. Where was the shame? The terror and guilt? You were supposed to be lost and alone now. But all you felt was relief and strong. You felt peace yet a chaos, powerfull. You felt bold. It was everythingnyou were told it wasnt. You heard anakin shuffle behind you and then a gruntal moan as he fell heavily to the floor next to you. That snapped you out of your trance, you can reorder your feelings later, for now he needed you.

"Fuck, fuck are you okay? Here lets get away from all this lava, come on up here, let me see." You began quickly assessing him while trying to usher him futher up the bank. He swore under his breath pushing at you hands as you tired to support him. It was slow going but you managed to help half drag him higher moving him away from the rushing lava river that nearly killed him.

"Hey talk to me..." your voice grew quiet as the silence dragged on becoming uncomfortable and tense. But he just stared at you, yellow eyes burning into you trying to figure something out. Like you were a puzzle for him to pull apart.

"You... saved me from the lava... you pulled me free before....and protected me. You chose to stay?" He finally spoke confusion lacing his words. For a moment you thought he was going into some pain induced delirium or shock syndrom. He was both questioning you and doubting himself. Yet at the same time reaffirming what had happened.

"Yes. I did... Are you okay? Anakin your scaring me;" you confirmed before trying to find out if he was feeling like himself. You needed to lnow if he was going to turn and attack you or not. You had to be ready, he may have dropped his saber but youd seen what he'd done to padme without it. You didnt want to be the next one on his list.

"Anakin is dead." He snarled, sharp and furious. It was manic he was desperate to distance himself from who he once was. You drew a breath nodding to him, raising your hands slowly in a surrendering motion as you felt his force swirl around him erratically smothering you in a thickening cloak of raw power.

"W-who has taken his place?" You tried not to fear the answer, fear him. But he was glareing at you so intensely it almost physically hurt.

"Vader. Darth vader." You flinched, swallowing dryly. So it was true, he wasnt just becoming a dark jedi, but a sith. A true sith apprentice, one day a sith lord like the old tales. But you managed to take it in your stride simply nodding along with him.

"And what is darth vader going to do? I-is he; are you going kill me? Now that obi-wan is gone and the jedi are being eradicated" with that he relaxed. The acceptance soothed him, his rage receded as if he understood you werent going to argue or harm him. You felt an overwhelming sadness at that. He was so defensive and vulnerable yet youd never noticed before. He didnt reply the silence was deafening, you could only assume the worse.

"It okay vader... its okay of you need to; just at least let me help fix you up first alright?" You reassured him holding back tears. You knew this was a possibility. Knew he might kill you anyway to truly set himself free of the order. And you were willing to do that for him, to die for him to release himself from the shackles of the order.

"Thank stars its your right at least you wont lose another hand, well youll need a new prostetic and your shoulders fucked for now but we can;" you continued babbling trying not to think as you began healing him slowly, carfully letting your force flow through you to at least sooth his pain. He stared the whole time gazing almost blankly at you. Not evern hissing or flinching as you worked over the burns.

"Were you telling the truth?" His voice carried a vulnerable lilt to it. Like a child asking a parent if they were truly forgiven after being naughty. It was a small voice one youd never heard him use before. You stopped what you were doing and sat straighter giving him your undivided attention, yet it was you who felt like you were under a microscope.

"Is what you said true? About the order... the dark. Your feelings... your love?" He struggled to voice the words aloud but had to. And just like he had to ask you knew you had to answer.

"Yes. I havent ever truly cared for the order, but i did fear them. I stayed because i had people i was afraid of losing" you looked down still feeling shame. It was so ingrained into you that everything you thought and felt was wrong you could'nt help but be nervous revealing it so intimately.

"But eventually you have to be true to yourself and accept it. Even if it means getting yourself killed. If thats the case I'll die free and honest" you summarised tryingnto let him know you understood and you were at peace with your impending demise, especially if that ps what he needed.

"And your love? Was that a truth you had to face? The thing you couldnt lose...The person you were afraid of losing?" He asked again this time more desperate. He raised a hand to yours, clasping your wrist tightly and pulling it from his wounds. You closed your eyes sighing.

"Im here arent I?" You chuckled nervously motioning around you. Trying to deflect and make him assume what he wanted to save yourself the embarrassment. But he shook his head a growling at you in frustration, irritated at your refusal to answer him directly.

"No. Thea I need to hear you say it. I need to know the truth. Tell me." His frustration rose and his grip grew tighter making you wince. Your eyes searched his, pleading for him to let this go. Whats the point in pouring your heart out to him now?

His gaze was stern, brows pinched and jaw set firm, twitching in anger as the seconds slowly ticked away in silence as you continued your staring match. Finally you gave in looking away afterall you didnt have to look at him to bare your soul to him.

"Say what? That ive been madly inlove with you since i was a child? That i didnt understand what it was untill it was too late? That i adore you? That i always pushed myself harder and harder just so i could keep up with you and we wouldn't be separated? So i could be there if you ever needed me? That i could be strong enough to save you if you needed it?" You managed to wokr up the courage to look at him and gently twisted your hand from his grip and raised one slowly to his face. Cupping his jaw softly. He closed his eyes pressing into your palm, twisting slightly nuzzling into you enjoying the soft comfort.

"Yes. Yes to all the above. I love you and it has always terrified me like nothing else in the world. I was told so many times by my master by yoda and everyone who noticed that i was wrong. That it was dangerous and itd destroy me but i didnt care. I love you An-Vader;" you stopped yourself short and pulled away from him before you broke down. You felt like your chest was in a vice, being crushed. Your stomach was churning unsettled by the mix of fear and warmth you were feeling. It felt unnatural to just be human and experience your own emotions without resisting.

Vader followed your hand unconsciouly before capturing himself. Frowning in disappointment as the soothing touch fell away from him. He let you retreat knowing you you needed to distance yourself to get this off your chest once and for all. He was prepared for tears, and frustration and cursing. But he wasnt ready for the dark turn your words took.

"Fuck i even pulled clovis aside and threatened to skin him alive when he started to interfere; and i wasnt bluffing i was going to do it. I had a plan on how i was going to get away with it too. i scared him and myself. i couldnt find it in myself to be jealous of padme or resent her becasue i just wanted you to be happy. And if her love made you happy that was enough for me" your words pulled your force,making it thrum once more igniting under the surface with an eager malice as you remebered the fear. The promise you made to clovis as he trembled at the thoughts you were pushing into him. Youd gone too far that day. You knew you had, forcing him to see his own torture in his minds eye. It wasnt the jedi way. Youd avoided him after that. Not wanting to relive it, far too frightend of your own commitment to your threat. Youd have done it. Youd do anything for Anakin.

"She didnt, she never actually;" Vader began speaking searching for the words to explain himself. As much as he didnt want to belive it he knew there was only one explination for padme's refusal. He wasnt enough. His love and devotion wasnt enough to keep her by his side. He trembled, lip quivering as he turned to look you in the eye and finally with a shaky breath he admitted outloud what you both knew to be true.

"She has betrayed me. She wouldnt come with me y/n. In the end she didnt want me enough. I did everything for her. All this for her and she abandoned me her love wasnt enough to stand by me." He broke down, he didnt understand. Didnt want to, the pain was too much. He had sacrificed everything for her survival. And he sees now it was in vain. He'd been living a lie for her and she didnt see what it had done. What she had cost him. What he was willing to pay for her to be safely by his side.

You inched closer as he crumbled, mouring his love. His loss, his failure. It cut you, twisted cold knives in your gut. How? How could she have done this? Didnt she see what there marriage had cost them? Cost Anakin. No. How could she? Padme was free, she had nothing to lose. To her she had a powerful, respected ,handsome husband who she could have exciting secret couplings with when ever she wished. She got to run around in her own exciting forbbiden romance reality.

Yet Anakin could have lost everything he had worked for . All his years of blood sweat and tears would have been for nothing. He'd have lost his home,family, freinds, job his entire world would have crumbled around him if he'd been caught. And in the end he gave it all up willingly, falling from grace so thoroughly just to save her life. And it wasnt enough.

"But you didnt run... you didnt abandon me..your feelings are real, they have to be" you were pulled out of your thoughts by him grasping you, his hand coming to your cheek. You gasped as he pushed forward fingers trailing down to your jaw thumb lightly, ghosting your lower lip and then with a languid twist his fingers rose once more to settle on your cheek again.

Its was like he was mapping out your features. Fascinated and in awe. You blinked at him speechless from the delicate feather light touches. He'd never done anything like this before. His eyes became haunting as the yellow shrunk giving way to his puplis that grew wider. It was like he were seeing you for the first time, releasing the tight grip on his own restraint. Just as you were about to break the silence he spoke again, this time softer.

"You... you just threw away everything for me. Risked everything to protect me, just as i did for her. You truly love me. More then the others; more then my own wife. Im sorry, sweet angel im so so sorry i never saw it before." He apologised slidingmhis hand to cup the back of your neck and tipped forward pressing his own forehead to yours.

"I will not forsake you as she has done me. Do you hear me? I will not, i swear to you Thea. Come with me. Join me" the vow caught you off gaurd. This was something you only dreamt of. A fantasy youd kept in secret. He closed his eyes arching up pressing a kiss to your head inching closer and pulled you to rest on his collar bone. His arm now dropping to coil around you as best as they could with the damage done to his prostetic. You leant into him letting yourself curl into him, closing as much space as you could between the two of you.

"Join me? Please? We can... we can build something. Be something greater than what we were designed to be. Make an empire that will bring peace, that will punish the wicked greed festering in the galaxy" you shuddered feeling a sob bubble up. The guilt and elation both clashing in an overwhelming storm of emotion youd never been allowed to experience before. Tears began flowing once more as you tried to latch onto something familiar, something comforting. But there was nothing, it was all brand new and frightening.

"But what about Padme? Arent you going to try and convince her again? Or sidious? He will kill me im not strong enough to join him he'd never;" your words were mumbled, sentences torn apart by weak sobs and soft sniffles. You were desperately trying to find some stability, some comfort in all the chaos. And you were most comfortable when denying yourself everything youd ever truly wanted.

"Padme is not my concern any longer. Its time i stopped kidding myself, she showed where her loyalties lie. She was willing to let me; the so called love of her life, her husband, the father to her child; die at the hands of obi-wan becuase i chose another more powerful path" You shook your head disagreeing in mumbled hlf sobs weeping into him still unable to really understand what he was saying, you heard the words but it didnt register. You didnt want to risk believing them incase this was a trick, a ruse to ruin you completely.

"You were not. You who has been by my side, and loved me in secret. You stood up against obi-wan to protect me, thats the loyalty and courage a true wife should have. I will not ignore that sacrifice" he said louder, a grit to his voice determination and authority pouring from him. He wanted you to listen. To truly listen and see this for what it was. This was the defining moment of both your lives. The moment you both truly found oneanother and began walking the same path, marching towards a future that would give the both of you everything youd ever wanted and needed.

He honestly belived that both of you had been drifting through this life, mearly exsisting waiting for this moment where the force finally unites you both. He could feel it now, see clearly for the first time in years. The sleepless nights, doubts and fear of his own desires and marriage came to an end and al. He knew was that this was where he had meant to be. Here with you standing on the dawn of a new era for the galaxy.

"Sidious will not harm you. I will not allow that. You are loyal to me. You are mine. And i will fight to,protect you as you have fought for me today." His words poured, hands grasping you tighter as you cried still weakly holding onto the past. Your own doubt and fear clouding your resolve. He hated it. The way you crumbled so completely into him, you were strong. Always so strong but here and now you were lost and overwhelmed. It was down to him to pull you through. To guide you back and show you your place amongst all the changes.

"But im a jedi; vader dont... dont toy with me. I know you need to kill me and its okay. Its okay, im ready. I knew; you dont have to;"

"You are no longer a jedi. Look. Your saber...see?" He cut you off quickly, a snarl. Then he let out a breath before tipping his head to your saber and explained gently. You frowned at him before leaning to the saber youd discarded beside the both of you as you slumped to the ash. With a quick look to Vader you ignighted your saber only to yelp and drop it as soon as the red glow shone from the hilt.

"Oh... oh stars what?" You blreathed out fear and shame flushing through you. Vader moved bringing the saber between you both again ingiteing it again needing you to face the reality of your new predicament.

"You bled it Thea. Somehow while your kyber was still sat inside your saber. I haven't even managed to bleed mine yet. But you? It seemes you have been much closer to the dark side than me for a while" he hummed flicking his gaze from your awe struck face and the now red saber. It was odd seeing one so close without being attacked. It was raw, powerful. He could feel the rage and distress from within it, he knew he was feeling your own discontent through the hilt. But at the same time there was almost a relief? You were at peace with the red kyber. There was an understanding. He could only assume youd been fighting it for a long time.

"I think that is what made obi-wan retreat. He realised you were serious and willing to do what ever it took. That you meant every word and if he had stayed he would be fighting a powerful woman with no jedi rules to follow" he pondered outloud still watching you trying to decipher your thoughts. He could see how this was a moral dilemma. You seemed to return to him from the shock and gave a half smile taking the saber from him with a lightly nod and clipped it to your belt.

"He feared for his life and ran" he smirked as you scoffed at that rolling your eyes at him. He released a breath he didnt realise he'd been holding as you seemed to have gatherd yourself together with an odd acceptance.

"Once i have gained the knowledge i need i will end sidious and We shall rule. You and me Thea. The jedi order and all those who stand in our way will fall;that is if you want to join me? Become the force wielder you were born to be" he ducked down following your eyes as they dipped away from him, his uninjured hand tipping your chip up once more. You flicked your eyes to his, the amber was almost golden and shone with a sincere pleading. He was being honest.

"Become the woman you were meant to be. Im asking you take this final step with me please. Come with me, serve me, stand beside me; where you belong take your place along side me and rule. Will you help me make them all pay?" You swallowed whimpering quietly lowering your eyes to your saber resting in your lap and then locked eyes with him again. What was there to lose now? You had nothing now. Nothing but the freedom to choose.

"Yes of course i will. Id do anything for you" you managed to speak through the thickening lump in your throat, managing to push through the emotional whirlwind that encased the two of you.

"And i you. Perhaps it is not too late for us, maybe we can both finally break our chains and find the true love we have always craved"

"Dont say things like that, you love padme and that wont change. And thats okay Vader." you grunted into him still weakly trying to deny what had just happened. Still convinced that Vader was lost in his own feelings and hurt by his wife. Refusing his love for her out of spite.

"You love many people, why would you think im any different. I have always held you close to my heart. I do love you, i thought i loved padme more. But... I was young and foolish, you were jedi and untouchable she wasnt. I loved you enought o never risk you, yet i didnt do the same with her. Maybe i was wrong?" He sighed pondering hos own reasoning and short comings. Maybe he should have giving things more thought before jumping the gun the way he had. He would admit after his marriage hed been torn, happy to have a slice of normality but felt an uncomfortable pain when he'd watched your face drop at the news.

"Fuck anakin really must be dead. He's never been wrong before" you laughed slapping at him playfully. He grunted pushing you back making you fall back into the ash calling you a brat.

"Oh thank god theres still some sass in there, for a second there i though vader was going to be a boring old fart" you both chuckled at that and for a second there was nothing else. No responsibilities, no betrayal no jedi of sith. It was just the two of you chuckling at your own antics as youd done so many times a children. Before everything real and pure had been stolen away and twisted for someone elses gains.

"Come. We should go he isnt patient" vader spoke glancing up the ridge as he felt Sidious approach looking down the bank to the both of you. He stood with a grunt dragging you up beside him with useing the force. You gasped lightly at the way his life force acquainted itself with you in a new familiarity. It was forbidden to use the force this way, touching carelessly could cause unbreakable force bonds, your own life forces could mingle and become reliant on one another. It was almost seen as rude and obscene to let your force touch someone else outside of healing and battle.

You eyed him flushing but said noting, instead shyly opened yourself up to him as you both began to climb up the bank towards sidious. You felt unsure as you followed vader, but you trusted him. Sidious might not have wanted you but... would he real1ly deny another corrupted jedi? Your answer came as you approuched him, he peered around vader to you and his face lit up into a sinister grin. He nodded eyes glinting with glee, it would seem he was pleased with his two for one deal.

"Come, let's get both of your injuries tended to and then we can discuss our next objectives" you relaxed visibly at that before letting Sidious lead you both away. You weren't sure what was going to come next, and selfishly you didn't care. All you knew was for the first time in your life, you'd made the choice. And you will stay beside Vader for along as he allowed you to. You will not turn your back on him. Not now, not ever.

[butterfly-weed]

DSMP Place-Name Suffixes and Meanings

kind of maybe accidentally some prose? I DIDNT MEAN TO I SWEAR

L’manberg and Manberg———

The suffix, “-berg,” or, “-burg,” comes from the German word for castle or fortress. Since many castles ended up becoming starting points for greater civilization/urbanization, the suffix became almost a synonym for city.

L’manberg was a small patch of land, defined by it’s towering walls. It was built with the intent of protecting its inhabitants. It evolved, over time, to be a sprawling mess of homes and shops, roads and churches, museums, plazas- it grew to be a town. Open without it’s walls, a fortress no longer. Then, a crater. The citizens it swore to protect having fled, having abandoned it if they could, lest they help bring it down.

Pogtopia———————————

“Topia,” essentially just means any geographical place. It isn’s a civilization, town, city, anything, just a place. It could also be used to indicate a paradise.

This name feels like a sick irony. It was just a place. First, it was a campaign, a political group aiming for their version of utopia. Then, it was a ravine. It was a time period, defined only by it’s geographical separation from home. It devolved, festering mania and unwellness, self destruction and spiraling, all the while bearing the name of paradise.

Snowchester-————————-

When a place-name ends in -chester, it indicates a military camp or fort. Chester meaning, “place of soldiers.”

Snowchester itself was a last-ditch attempt at safety. It’s secluded and armed, the base of operations for nuclear weaponry. Truly, it was a place of soldiers. A place of Tubbo and Jack, two weary and sharp war veterans, trying to feel safe. Equally, it was a place of protection and family. Of, “I will be strong so you can be safe.”

Logstedshire-————————

Stead means, “enclosed pasture,” in Old English. A place-name ending in, “shire,” indicates that it is owned or governed by a government official. It is also the French word for, “county.” The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines a shire as, “a town where a court of superior jurisdiction…sits.”

Logstedshire; an enclosed pasture. A plains biome, sprawling and open, but so muted. So closed. Confined. Trapped. A place of harsh discipline, with a, “superior jurisdiction,” looming over its lonely occupant. How mocking to call it a county, an extension of a homeland, when it’s sole purpose was to be separate from it. Enclosed pasture, ruled by a superior jurisdiction, with a feeble string tying it to L’manberg in the form of the title, “county.” Enclosed forevermore, harboring the abuse like a time capsule, ash and dust undisturbed.

Boomerville and Rutabagville—

“-ville,” is a suffix used to indicate a village/town, or in the Middle Ages, a farming community.

Two towns, built for the purpose of getting away from the chaos, of having a small, peaceful land. Built so the few inhabitants could say, “I live here, I work here, the sun is gentle on my front porch.” So far out of the way that no one would notice if they just…disappeared. No one would bother check. One town abandoned, one town robbed. Both lay empty, at the end of the day.