#i sure do still listen to other people’s

[defmaybe]

last night's mascara

12 Days of Christmas: Day 11, January 4th, 2025

Dreamcatcher’s Lee Gahyun x Male Reader

3.1k words

Christmas Masterlist

What a boring ass party.

It’s the thought that has been lingering inside your head for the last two hours. The decorations? Daft. The song choice? Lame. The conversations? Rote. So, there you are, one hand on your phone, the other fiddling with your fingers restlessly. Should’ve bought Balatro when it was on sale.

You scroll your Twitter feed aimlessly, pressing likes on the fan sites’ pictures of your favorite groups—fromis_9, Red Velvet, (G)I-DLE. It’s the only way to escape this party without raising much suspicion.

Well, not until Gahyun notices you standing in the corner of your eyes.

“Not enjoying it?”

You almost drop your phone on the ground, good thing you can balance it with your hands.

“Shit, y–yeah,” you reply.

Gahyun giggles softly, covering her mouth with the glass of champagne in her hand. She’s in her red and white Christmas dress, one that shows off a lot—her shoulders, her legs, her ample cleavage. Fuck, she looks so tantalizing.

“So,” she says. She’s pulling you into a conversation. Abort. Abort. Abort!

“How was your day?” she asks, “Wait, oh my god, that was a terrible question. I’m sorry if it’s too plain for you.”

It’s over for you.

“No, no, it was–great. I’m fine,” you reply. “How are you?”

Gahyun chuckles. “A bit drunk, but still standing!” she says with a bright smile, twisting her foot coyly. God, she looks gorgeous.

You only shoot a smile back at her. You don’t know what more to say. It’s difficult for you to continue the conversation like this. You can’t do this.

“Hey,” she continues. You’re finished. “I can keep you company here if you want.”

She’s kind, but you’ll have to say no. You aren’t good enough to hold her right here. You don’t have anything to talk about!

“Ah, I–I appreciate that, but I don’t think you’d enjoy my company,” you decline, taking a sip of the champagne in your hand.

She giggles, and you fall victim to your own self-deprecation once again. You just can’t stop pushing people out, can you?

Fuck.

“Don’t be so harsh on yourself, come on!” she encourages. You’re taken aback by her enthusiasm to be with you. Is she really enjoying your company? Is it a dare? Is she just toying with you for her own entertainment?

“O–Okay, Gahyun,” you stammer.

The conversation begins at the expense of your solitude. It’s seemingly unending. You’re involuntarily dragged into an exchange with the talkative Lee Gahyun. However, you’re slowly dragged into her charismatic presence. You’re somehow not stuttering anymore? Goodness gracious! She’s a good talker. She’s a good listener. She’s genuinely comforting to be around.

“So–speaking of music, have you been listening to anyone recently? Well, outside of k-pop, it’ll be too boring,” Gahyun asks.

You contemplate a bit before you answer, “Well, I’ve been listening to Gracie Abrams a lot lately. Do you know her?”

“Gracie Abrams–hmm–is she the one who opened for Taylor Swift?”

“Yeah!” you happily answer. She’s really full of knowledge. “I started listening to her a few years ago. Quality can be choppy sometimes, but I still like her a lot.”

“I’m sure she’s great,” she says with a giggle. “That’s why you’re drawn to her.”

You can only chuckle at her warm words. God, she really knows how to reel you in. 

“What about you? Who have you been listening to?” you ask her the same question back. Normally, you’d be beating yourself up for not changing the question, but with Gahyun, it feels like you don’t have to worry about anything.

Gahyun laughs, cutely covering her mouth while doing so. “Well, mostly Billie Eilish, her new album. Have you heard it yet?”

“Oh, yeah! I love Birds of a Feather a lot. Wait, let me guess yours–uh–” you pause, trying to guess her favorite from the album.

Gahyun adoringly smiles, waiting for your guess. Maybe it’s the alcohol. Maybe it’s the light, but, fuck, are you having a crush on her?

“Chihiro?”

“Aww~ that’s close! It’s actually my second favorite,” Gahyun says, pouting cutely. You can only awkwardly giggle along to cover the embarrassment from the mistake.

“I actually love Lunch the most, to be honest,” she says. “Makes me click my heels, you know?”

“Oh, yeah. I mean–I also like Lunch, but–uh–it’s just not as sad as Birds of a Feather.”

“Oh. Oh! Well, that’s definitely interesting!” Gahyun says. “So, you like sad songs? Do you like–uh–have any to recommend to me?”

You give her a few songs. She nods in acknowledgement. The exchange continues into the night. It flows so lively that you get lost in her charm, over and over again. You find out about her dog at home—Bae. You find out that she loves pineapples on pizzas. You find out that her favorite TV show is Goblin (yes, that Goblin).

As it goes on, you can’t help but steal glances at her body, even if you know how inappropriate that is. You’ll use the opportunity when she looks away to take in the view of her ample cleavage or her meaty thighs. She looks so good, so deli–

“Hey,” she derails your train of thoughts. “Did you just–stare at my tits?”

Your eyes widen in shock. You didn’t realize that you’ve been looking at her for a little too long. Your hands tremble in fear of getting called out. You should say sorry, now!

“F–Fuck, I–I’m so s–sorry, Gah–”

“Zip it,” she cuts you off, putting her index finger on your lips. “I don’t want excuses.”

Tears start to form in your eyes. You’re being mentally cornered by Lee Gahyun, the company darling. God, you’re beyond fucked. Your whole life is being undone because of a slip. Fuck.

Then, she whispers into your ear.

“Meet me at the women’s bathroom in five minutes.”

You nod with your eyes closed slowly, before she departs from you, giving you the view of her hips swaying before disappearing into the crowd.

—

The women’s bathroom smells of air purifier, it’s taken care of well. It’s brightly lit. You find Gahyun standing in the middle of the room—arms crossed, tapping her foot. She’s waiting for you.

“Come here, lock the door,” she orders, gesturing you to her. Her voice is much, much more stern than in the ballroom, but there’s also–something else. Is she mad at you, or is it something else?

The door clicks shut, leaving the bathroom only for you two. You slowly walk towards Gahyun, who’s looking at you expectantly.

The air thickens with anticipation. The silence is heavy. You’re stuck in the bathroom with Lee Gahyun. She doesn’t seem too pleased with your presence here, but why would she be calling you here, then?

“So,” she starts. You close your eyes shut in fear. “Anything to say before we start?”

You shake your head vigorously, hoping that the admission would lessen the punishment directed at you.

You hear a wicked laugh, as she starts to circle around you. Your body trembles in fear. Fuck, what is she going to do with you. Is she going to beat you up? Is she going to berate you?

“Are you sure that you’ve locked the door?” she asks from behind you. You can feel her breath on your neck. It’s terrifying.

“Y–Yes, Gahyun,” you stammer out.

“Good. Now, take off your pants,” she orders sternly. Wait, this isn’t going where you’ve expected.

“Wait, do you want me to–”

“Take off your pants, yes,” she finishes your sentence without any hesitation. Determination shines in her eyes.

“O–Okay?” you utter, before reluctantly unbuckling your belt. It’s so hard to come off when your hands are literally shaking like this. Your breathing becomes erratic with each second that passes by.

“Faster,” she sternly commands into your ear. Her warm breath touches your skin, eliciting goosebumps everywhere. Your hands quickly take off your trousers as she orders, leaving your lower body in your boxers. The outline of your erection becomes visible under them.

“Good,” she says, the warmth of your hand emanating into your firm ass. “Now, if you’d show me what you’ve been hiding under this–garment.

You immediately comply with her order, sliding down your tight boxers in a hasty motion. Your hard cock springs free from its confinement. It twitches in the anticipation of what’s to come. Gahyun presses into your body from the back, making your ass touch her warm crotch. Her perfume pervades your nostrils, making your legs wobble like jelly.

“Hmm, excited, aren’t we?” she coos. Her right hand reaches from the back to tease you. She leaves just a little space between her hand and your cock. You wish you could just grab her hand and make her touch your hardness right now, but that’s not how you play this game. You can only wonder how Gahyun can hide this side for so long—the side that dominates the shit out of you.

“Do you want me to touch it? Say it.” Her hot breath brushes against your ear, teasing you, pushing you towards the limit.

“Y–Yes, I want you to touch it, Gahyun,” you utter, mind going all haywire from the sheer intensity of her body warmth against your back.

You hear Gahyun giggle mischievously from the back, before her hand latches onto your cock firmly, making you groan in sheer ecstasy.

Slowly, she begins her dirty display on your cock. She lazily drags her hand up along your length, eliciting a shudder from you. When she’s at the top, she makes sure to take a swipe on the tip to make you moan. Your brain is now filled with nothing but her otherworldly handjob she’s giving. She feels so good.

You moan and whimper in her tight restraint, naked from below the waist. Her hands are slowly jerking you off with an unmatched mastery. Her smell is intense—her perfume, and something that’s explicitly her.

She slowly finds her rhythm, knowing when to pump, knowing when to swipe. She goes faster, eliciting guttural groans and whimpers out of you. 

Your cock is being fondled by the company darling, and that thought alone sends you into rapture. She’s the same woman you see every day. She’s the same woman you’ve talked to. She’s the same woman who everyone loves. Now, she’s jerking you off in the women’s bathroom, making you moan and whimper.

Maybe it’s the sheer intensity of the situation, you can feel your loins tightening. Your body becomes rigid. Your breathing becomes erratic. You’re going to cum in Lee Gahyun’s hand!

“You know, I’ve been told a lot that I have nice lips,” she says. Her hands remain a little too eager to finish you off. It’s becoming too irresistible to cum right now. You can feel the tension rising within your loins. You do want more than her hand, indeed. That pair of lips are a little too tantalizing for you to not be on your cock—so plump, so pouty.

“F–Fuck, Gahyun, I–I’m gonna cum,” you utter. Time is running low, and you have to make her stop before you blow a load all over the bathroom floor and get short-circuited for the rest of the night.

Gahyun lets out another wicked giggle. “Say please, then.” She’s not going to stop so easily, not before you profusely beg her to.

“Nghhn~ p–please, Gahyun,” you plead, voice already shaking in the intense sensation.

“Again, and I’ll lift my hand off,” she teases, jerking you off even faster. Your mind is all hazy from the sheer pleasure you’re getting from her hand. Your blinking becomes rapid. Your vision becomes blurry.

“Nghh~ please, G–Gahyun.”

Gahyun suddenly removes her hand from your cock, leaving it twitching in the air. You sigh, as the tension slowly drops back to normal. You’re happy not to cum before you get to take on her mouth.

“Close one,” she says, letting go of you from her warm embrace. You feel like you can fully breathe for the first time in years. She was suffocating, but you won’t deny the pleasure she gave you, of course.

Gahyun slowly walks back to your front, putting the highlight of her next act for you to see—her lips, those dick-sucking lips. You and the guys have talked about this behind her back (well, behind everyone’s back) about how good her lips would feel on your cocks, head bobbing up and down in a hypnotic motion, bringing intense pleasure to whoever gets their dick sucked. 

Now, it’s your turn.

Gahyun kneels, not without seductively swaying her wide hips as she goes down. Your cock twitches at the sight violently, so ready to be taken into her mouth.

“Say please, just like when I jerked you off,” she commands. She seems to know when to raise her voice and when to not.

“Please, Gahyun,” you utter, your voice all dry from the moaning and the internally burning desire.

The first contact is nothing short of divine. Gahyun starts slow. She starts by taking in just the mushroom tip into her mouth. She feels so warm, so tight, so right. Gahyun gives the underside of your cock a playful lick, making your body jolt in response.

She then begins her show, pushing herself further on your cock. It’s a lewd sight, really—the direct eye contact, the sound she’s making (it’s kind of a low, satisfied hum), the way she fondles your balls with her fingers. Pleasure just shoots through your body like a bullet. Without any restraints, you could just cum into her mouth right here and now. She pushes further and further, making you groan in pure bliss, until she starts to gag.

“Y–You don’t have to take it all, G–Gahyun.”

She says nothing, instead diving deeper onto your cock, all while using her tongue to play with the underside of your length. No woman has ever given you a blowjob as good as this—the deliberate movement, the will to gag, the pouty lips. Gahyun really has it all.

She keeps the eye contact intact, a reminder of her control. The gagging sounds she’s making don’t hinder her dominance by a little bit. She lets you know who’s in control here. It’s her and only her.

She finally pushes herself up to the hilt of your cock. She gags. She chokes. She sputters. Globs of spit leaks out of her mouth. Your head falls backwards from the pleasure. Her eyes are barely opening from the sheer size of your cock. You love this. You love the sounds she’s making. You love how she dominates the shit out of you. You love that she’s willing to suck you off like this (even if she’s the one in full control).

She stays there, gagging, choking, sputtering on your cock. She’s taking in the pungent scent of you, judging by the way she takes a deep breath through her nose. Her lips look so good on your cock like this. The base of your length becomes saturated by her red lipstick and spit. Streaks of black mascara run down her cheeks. You’re revelling in it. You’re revelling in the sight.

“G–God, G–Gahyun,” you utter.

With that, she slowly pulls back from your cock, leaving a trail of her rosy lipstick on it. Her eyes are fluttering violently with the thickness and length of you. She can barely breathe, and you’re loving it.

Instinctively, your right hand goes to the back of her head, tugging her hair to pull her out of the predicament called your cock. She gets to breathe again, and she quickly dislodges herself off you.

“Ah, y–you taste good,” she says, still trying to catch her breath. The marks from the earlier act are evident.

You say nothing, letting Gahyun catch her breath again, waiting for the time she can take in your cock once more. She breathes in, she breathes out, and finally, she’s ready again.

“I’m not holding back this time, alright?” she says, determination sparks inside her eyes.

“S–Sure.”

She grabs onto your cock with her right hand, pulling you close, before she takes your cock into her mouth. This time, it’s more violent, more fervent. She catches her rhythm and doesn’t look back. She starts to bob her head back and forth on your cock, and doesn’t that make you whimper like a bitch?

“Nghhh~ s–so good,” you mewl.

Gahyun only replies with a giggle on your cock. Her grip is still firm. Her free hand fondles your balls gently, trying to coax cum out of you.

She catches her rhythm, moving her head in a hypnotic motion. She really wants you to cum under her influence like this. You hear her gag. You hear her choke. You hear her sputter.

The tension in your loins starts to rise again. You’re on the verge of cumming with the help of the earlier handjob, and she doesn’t seem to stop at all. That’s it. You’re unloading your cum inside of Lee Gahyun’s mouth, making her taste your white essence.

“G–Gonna cum,” you utter.

Gahyun responds by going as rapidly as she can on your throbbing cock. The sensation is electric. It shoots through you like a bullet. The knot tightens, and you can do nothing to stop it.

With the final stroke, you unload your pent-up lust into Lee Gahyun’s throat, making her taste your essence. Your body jerks forward in pure pleasure. You let out a low, guttural groan at your precipice, unable to make sense of the situation. She lets out a satisfied hum as she feels your white, hot cum hit the back of her throat. You’re probably salty, like the other women have said.

You slowly come down from your peak, finally catching your rhythm again. Your cock’s spurts turn into soft drizzles off the slit. Gahyun pulls off of your cock with a loud pop. What an obscene sight. Her face is a fucking mess—mascara, lipstick, it’s all wrong. You’re still too dazed to say a thing, though.

“You taste good,” she says, opening her mouth, sticking her tongue out lewdly to show the emptiness of her wet cavern. She drank it all.

“I–I wanna do this again,” you involuntarily utter from the depths of your heart. “I want you to suck my cock again.”

Maybe it’s the sheer absurdity of your words. Maybe it’s the wake of your climax. She bursts out a laugh, a genuine one. You watch her laugh awkwardly.

“Ask me–ha–properly,” she says. “Will you, Lee Gahyun–”

“Will you, Lee Gahyun–”

“Suck–”

“Suck my cock again?”

She lets out a chuckle, before answering, “Definitely, maybe.”

—

[in-finitives]

originally wrote a bunch of other hcs down in tags because that's where i live but then i realized only 30 or so get put on post and then they delete so here's my addendums to save for myself

piper n reyna's relationship:

reyna's story is one of accepting expectation and living up to it.

piper's story is one of denying expectation and contradicting it, because she doesn't like what comes with it / people not liking her because she's something other than piper (i.e. people r friends w her because she's her father's daughter, her father's money, her mother's beauty, etc). piper is sick of other people controlling her life, deciding what she does and doesn't get, and feeling like she hasn't earned anything

piper is originally weird about the relationship for obvious coming into sexuality reasons + it feels like another expectation. another thing her mother gave to her, another thing built on other people's expectation

reyna is against the relationship because it goes against her duty. like she mentions sometime in SoN, praetors get in relationships with each other because it's good for rome or whatever. can you imagine if she was dating a greek?? that would feel like a complication to her duty

AND

piper's read enough myths to know about pretty women who betray their families for the hero. she is NOT going to be one of them, feeding into her whole traitor-dad arc

but as their arcs grow in anti-parallel, they both come to admire each other

piper admires how reyna is so independent, so strong, and so sure of herself. reyna admires how piper doesn't concede into what other people want.

reyna starts finding an identity outside of CJ and outside of her duty & symbolically, being in a relationship with piper signifies doing something for herself rather than doing something for rome

piper realizes that by automatically going against expectation is still allowing it to control her and she should instead listen to her own feelings

lowk should've been what rr did with jason/piper in the first place if he wanted it to stick but oh well

back in cj

WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT HOW JASON LOOKS LIKE LUKE AND WHAT THAT DOES TO ANNABETH!!!

but first some other points

op and others had good points about annabeth that were tragically heartbreaking so i'm going to switch focus to jason

can you fuckin imagine jason at this time

percy refuses to help hera and is literally taking the gods by the throat, but jason probably doubles down and is trying to appease the gods

he thinks this is retribution. he thinks they've messed up

he thinks if he is a good hero, reyna can come back

and then 6 months later annabeth shows up

guys. Guys

jason looks exactly like luke. blonde general with a scar on his lip ?!

annabeth looks at him like she's seen a ghost

she's thinking of a traitor brother, a brother who was too good to be true, who was kind and friendly to all the outsiders, who was the leader of camp, who betrayed her

and she sees jason ... who is exactly all that

and in canon we always get her saying jason is 'too perfect' and unnerving to her

BECAUSE HE REMINDS HER OF LUKE!

and can you imagine if she hears his last name and goes oh. Oh

can you imagine jason finding out she knew his sister

the sister who (he thinks) abandoned him

the sister who has grown a new sister

a new family, with a boy who looks exactly like him

he's been replaced. he's been replaced, and this girl has never been abandoned by his sister like he was

and annabeth is standing there, now perfectly aware that she has replaced this kid in a family that wasn't supposed to be her's, but was, in a family that loved her and cared for her, and she sees the kid who has nothing, not even a best friend

CAN YOU FUCKING IMAGINE

annabeth probably originally distrusts him when she doesn't exactly remember the whole luke/thalia thing, jason is probably jumping to get on the quest because if he can please the gods he can get reyna back

also [later] jason finding out that percy and annabeth has done more for demigods by being rebellious little freaks than he has his whole life despite being the perfect hero

can you imagine what that does to him

'oh you got demigod children claimed and recognized by sitting on the gods throne and sassing them ... you were offered immortality, and i wasn't?'

even though he was the perfect hero

even though he did everything they ever asked

AND THEN

then he meets reyna again and the one person who shared his identity, the one person who shared his duty, has. ... escaped?

can he escape too?

but he's son of jupiter, he's never been more than that, how could he possibly escape?

then he finds out reyna has now met his sister ... and it feels like everyone he knows has met her except him

why wasn't it him? if he was son of jupiter, perfect hero, why wasn't he in chb? why leave him where he is useless, was he not good enough the first time?

we see reyna escape at the end. reyna realize she is more than a hero, realize reyna has learned she's not just the gods' chess piece. we also see her go through the same arc percy did in pjo if she's not at the final battle → sometimes being the hero is not about stepping up, but learning when to step down. she may not have been at the battle, but she empowered others to have won it (also works nice thematically w her powers)

reyna escapes. jason never does. he stays at cj, too scared to find out who he is. when leo (allegedly) dies, jason is thinking, it should've been me. he's the hero. so he stays at cj. he stays because what if what he finds is something he doesn't like, what if who he is, is not who he is supposed to be?

makes toa all the sadder

anyways yeah that's my 2 cents

Thinking about a concept where Juno swaps Annabeth and Reyna instead.

Annabeth and Reyna are fine, because they’ve always been able to handle just about anything the gods threw at them. Piper accidentally has her gay awakening via fake memories of a relationship with Reyna and is really confused why her girlfriend is acting so weird. Reyna and Leo bicker non-stop because even without her memories Reyna knows what she’s doing and she’s very used to getting people to listen to her but Leo will not be serious for even one second.

Percy would start fist fighting the gods in the first week. Jason has never been more stressed in his life because he never even wanted to be praetor but it was manageable while he was doing it with Reyna and now he’s alone. What the hell is he supposed to do.

By the time Annabeth shows up at Camp Jupiter, Jason is so relieved someone knows what they’re doing that he immediately asks her to be praetor, now if she’ll excuse him he needs to go have an anxiety meltdown in a corner somewhere

[giddyfatherchris]

A movie i've seen before III

pairing. bang chan x f!reader

type. not requested, a little fluff and a whole lot of angst

warnings. f!reader, crying, relationships issues, trust issues, angst angst ANGST

wc. 4k

a/n. here we go part 3!! this one will be rough LMAO it took me so long to write it and it made me so angsty when i did buuuuuut i kinda love it and ive been having a whole lot of fun writing sm angst even though im so nervous to post this since its not in my "usual" style… anyway i hope you’ll enjoy mwah xx oh and! i love to listen to music when im writing and reading so here’s a few song i had on repeat while writing this: guilty as sin - taylor swift, ceilings - lizzy mcalpine, i wish i hated you - ariana grande (in this order specifically!)

dont forget to tell me if you want to be added to the tag list for the next part x

part I part II

(pics are not mine! credit to the owners!)

The streets were softly illuminated. Restaurants and little bars were stuffed with people laughing and enjoying the gorgeous night. You looked around and felt a wave of glee wash over you. You loved people-watching, the freedom of the soft wind dancing through your hair, and most of all, you loved being here with him.

Rehearsals had been a flying success. The boys had been so excited to see some of their friends and the day flew by in a second. When you returned to the hotel, you should have been exhausted from such an intense and packed day. Still, all you felt was excitement and energy course through your blood at the prospect of the coming evening. Once you made sure the other boys were settled, they all encouraged you to go out, have some fun, and take advantage of being in the famous French city. Even Felix gave you an encouraging smile as you headed out, Chan by your side.

At first, he had been reluctant about your night out with his leader. He was scared for your heart. At the same time, he knew how hard you always worked and as he helped you decide on an outfit, he realized it had been a long time since he saw you this excited. So despite his reserves, he helped you figure out a cute outfit with a genuine smile. You deserved to enjoy the city and have fun after all your hard work. No matter what would come out of this night, he would be there for you and that's what mattered the most.

Even though you had spent the last few weeks making sure you kept a certain distance between you and the man at your side, you decided not to care about it tonight. You were tired, extenuated from trying to guard your heart. Chan's attitude in the past few weeks seemed different. Maybe Felix was wrong, perhaps he was ready for something more. So tonight you would be yourself, and enjoy whatever happened. You decided you deserved it. So you didn't refrain from doing anything you might have done before or wanted to do now. You let Chan hold your hand as you walked through the city. You let him hand-feed you a bite of his plate as you chatted in the restaurant. You let him take pictures of you as you walked near the Seine, an honest smile on your lips. You didn't hold back from replacing his curls once the wind had disheveled them. You didn't hold back from laying your head on his shoulder as you looked at the magical view.

You hadn't noticed, but every little touch or attention planted seeds of hope in your heart.

In return, Chan seemed to beam at the returned normalcy of your relationship. He was more touchy than ever, a sparkle illuminating his eyes as he made jokes with the sole purpose of gorging himself on the sight of the adorable crinkles around your eyes. He shivered at the feather-light touch of your fingers on him when you made sure he looked perfect for some pictures he intended to post on Instagram for his dear STAYs. You gave a toothy grin as you pinched his cheeks before stepping away for more pictures. He didn't hesitate before asking a stranger with a broken French if they could snap one of you two. An amused light danced in your eyes, and you took a sharp breath when you felt his hand slide on your hips, bringing you closer to him for the picture. You lifted your eyes for a millisecond, a foreign but gentle expression on your face. He looked at you with the softest, most tender smile, before you gave him one in return, and rested your head and hand on his chest. You could swear you felt the thundering beat of his heart beneath his shirt. Or maybe you were mistaking it for your own, reverberating in your whole body.

"Vous êtes très mignons," complimented the stranger with a kind smile and a subtle wink.

You thanked him with rosy cheeks, not daring to comment. Chan came up behind you, asking what the stranger had said exactly, but you barely registered the words as you looked at the pictures on your phone. They were stunning. The lights, the view, but most strikingly, the way you looked together. Your heart skipped a beat as you swiped to see the picture the man had taken when you weren't posed yet. When you were still looking at Chan with that surprised and delighted expression and he was looking at you like you were the most precious thing on earth. He saw the picture and put his hand on your shoulders.

"They're beautiful," he said in a hushed voice as if the emotion currently gripping you had its claws dug deep in him too.

You looked back at him with a smile, trying to slow the fast pace of your beating heart. Ancient fears tried grabbing at your heart, but you pushed them away, holding on to your promise. He nodded towards the street, encouraging you to keep walking. His hand grabbed yours effortlessly and squeezed once before he started to walk. Soon, the Eiffel Tower appeared, and you couldn't hold a gasp from escaping your lips.

It was beautiful, stark on the starry night sky, illuminated like a beacon in the dark. Chan chuckled at your marvel and looked fondly at you as you ushered him to walk faster.

You settled on a park bench, his arm going around your shoulders as you cuddled into his side.

"This is perfect," you whispered after a moment of silent contemplation.

"It is," he answered, his lips so close that if he moved a little they would connect with your forehead.

"I'm really happy to be here with you. Thank you for everything."

The man's heart tightened at your words. "No, thank you," his words felt choked and you backed away enough to face him. "You are so amazing. You're the best at handling us and you’re you're so organized. I don't know how we would deal without you and I don't mean just at work. You're truly such a special person to us... to me." Stars danced in your eyes as you looked at him, so open, so inviting. "Thank you for being in my life. I don't know what I would do without you." Softly his lips touched your forehead in a tender kiss. You closed your eyes relishing in the warmth they spread on your skin. Never before had he been so honest about his feelings in your regard. The little declaration made your heart beat even faster. Seeds of hope were slowly blossoming into small, delicate flowers. Maybe, just maybe your proximity tonight meant more for him than you imagined.

Your eyes stayed closed even as he pulled away, even as he softly stroked the side of your face with his thumb. You were so scared to open them, terrified to know what would happen, what you would read on his angelic face. He brought you closer, so close you could feel his breath mingling with yours. You waited, incapable of opening your eyes.

"Y/n," he uttered softly. "Please, look at me."

You obeyed, softly batting your eyelashes, and felt electrified as the intensity contained in his eyes struck you. His gaze slowly tumbled to your soft lips, slightly opened, puffing each breath. His eyes came back up a second with a silent question. You knew he would not do anything before you said yes and it made your heart bloom as you nodded imperceptibly. And just like that, he linked his plush lips with yours. It was earth-shattering in a soft and shaking to the core way.

You backed away for a second to catch your breath and this time was the one to lift your hand, softly pulling at his shirt as you kissed him once more. This second kiss was still soft, but so deep, so full of emotions. It made your hands tremble. You moved in tandem, both the only people in the world who knew the rhythm of this foreign dance. The kiss made you feel tingly like nothing else maintained you to the earth except for his hands on your cheek and his lips on yours. It grew, both of you wanting, needing more. Your hands went up to his jaw, softly caressing the soft skin there, the skin you had wished to touch so many times. A low grumble echoed in his chest, the vibration almost making you purr back. You separated softly, slowly, stealing little kisses before resting your foreheads together, catching your breaths. His thumb fell on your bottom lip, softly plucking it apart from the top one. He was enthralled by the shallow breath you exhaled. Slowly, but surely you remembered where you were. You remembered you were sitting on a bench in France, and you realized you had just kissed. Panic slowly spread through your gaze, threatening to overpower the feeling of daze you had been previously bathed in. He noticed and a shadow seemed to pass in his eyes but before you could analyze it or say something he kissed your lips again. You had no idea what that little peck meant, and he didn't seem to know either but still, he smiled.

"You want to go back?" he whispered, his head still pressed to yours. You nodded quickly and took his hand as you walked back, your mind racing even as it clawed to stay in the daze it had been in for the whole night.

He held your hand on the way back until you felt its warmth leave yours to replace a few errant strands of his hair and didn't find it again. You tried not overthinking. He was allowed not to touch you at all times even after you had shared a kiss. And the fact that he had been all over you all night and suddenly wouldn't hold your hand didn't mean anything, right? You tried reasoning with yourself but couldn't deny that the sudden loss of his touch made an insidious cold creep into your bones.

As you approached the hotel and entered the lobby, Chan was so very polite and cordial. He kept his gaze straight forward and gave a polite smile to the few staff you encountered but didn't say a word to you. Long gone was the laid-back and giggly man you had spent the evening with. The ride in the elevator was silent, and not the kind of comfortable one you had experienced so many times. This one was heavy, full of meaning. You could feel regret emanating from his every gesture. Tears threatened to spill from your eyes but you held on, not wanting him to know how much this affected you.

Felix had warned you that Chan did not have the space in his life for a partner. You knew it, but still, you allowed yourself to let down your guard, and enjoy your time with him. What happened tonight could never happen again. The way this sole kiss had made you feel was to be used as a warning. If one night with him, carefree, had made you feel such a way... you had to keep your distance and be careful. If you let this go on, it would destroy you. You knew it now. Doing this tonight was a mistake because you didn't just like him. You were incontestably in love with Christopher Chan Bahng. And he wasn't and couldn't be because of everything he was.

He walked you to your room and stopped in front of the door. With your hand on the handle, you looked back at him, trying and failing to hide the pain in your eyes.

"Y/n, about tonight I-..." he started.

"Don't," you breathed out. "I know Chan. It won't happen again. I know it didn't mean anything." He shuffled in place, not even denying your claim. Your heart crumpled in pieces, nausea seizing you. "Don't worry about it," you finally whispered as you closed the door on him, on the possibility of him and everything he meant to you.

The little light of hope you felt earlier had been brutally put out. Delicate flowers ripped from their soil with an all-encompassing pain.

You got up the next day feeling like you had been ran over by a truck. Usually, you were a fast and heavy sleeper, but insomnia had seized you until the late hours of the night. But concert day would show you no pity. You had a job to do, and so you plastered a smile on your face and focused on the tasks at hand. You concentrated on compartmentalizing and acting like nothing happened, telling the boys about your amazing night, while omitting the kiss. The show went splendidly well, the boys gained many new supporters with this performance it was nothing short of a flying success. You struggled to feel anything as they smiled at you and spoke excitedly on the drive back to the airport. Once on the plane, you watched Chan sit down with a sour feeling in your chest. In the next row, Felix signaled for you to sit next to him but you couldn't. You hadn't told him the truth about your night, you weren't ready to face the possible 'I told you so' or worse, his tender compassion. Spotting an empty seat beside Minho, you stopped in front of him. "Can I sit here?" At his questioning look you allowed him to see an ounce of the sadness you carried. "Please, I just... don't want to be disturbed," you shared in a small voice.

Immediately his eyes took on a protective expression, he nodded and patted the window seat next to him. Relieved to know no one would get past your protector, you allowed sleep to swallow you and your pain, only waking up once you landed in Korea.

Cars sporadically zoomed by, their lights blinding you and making your eyes squeeze in pain, which actually wasn't that bad a thing considering how tired you were. The zaps of light were at least keeping you awake. The intense few days had taken a great toll on everyone, and the 12-hour flight on top did not help. Still, being the best one in shape you volunteered to drive. Chan in the passenger seat silently stared out the window while the boys were piled up in the back, sleeping peacefully.

You rubbed your eyes for the tenth time, hoping to finally get rid of the fatigue weighing on your bones that made your eyelids feel so damn heavy.

"If you're tired, I can drive."

You turned your head to find Chan staring at you. "I'm fine."

"I don't think you are. You have been rubbing your eyes and puffing for 20 minutes now. I got plenty of rest, I can drive the rest of the way."

You tightened your grip on the wheel, "I told you I didn't need you to."

"It's dangerous to drive when you're tired."

"Are you done?!" you lashed out. Turning your head to look at him you swerved on the road. Luckily there hadn't been any other cars, but your heart was beating out of your chest and you suddenly felt wide awake.

Chan stared at you with wide eyes for a second. "Okay, that's it. Pull over."

"No-"

"Y/n. Right now you're putting yourself and my members in danger. I can't allow that."

The sternness of his tone and a look in the mirror at the boys made you pull begrudgingly. You slammed the door and avoided his eyes while you switched sides. He tried to get ahold of you to apologize, but you pulled back as if the contact of his hands on your skin burned you.

"Y/n what's going on?"

"What's going on is that I'm tired. I'm exhausted," you sarcastically chuckled.

He wiped his eyes and sighed. "Listen, I get that but we all are."

You tried to bite your tongue to stop the words from coming out of your mouth but in the end, you couldn't. Maybe it was the extreme fatigue or emotional turmoil you had been going through for the past few weeks but you simply couldn't. You heard yourself speak words you never thought you would. "No. I mean that being in love with you is exhausting."

His arms slackened at his sides as his eyes grew big as saucers.

"You heard me right. I am in love with you. I should have known before, but our night in Paris confirmed that."

"Y/n... I can't give you or anyone anything more, specifically because of that. Being with me is exhausting. I already know that."

Irritation lit a fire in your blood. You were so done with this stupid man and his stupid beliefs that made him act like some fucking martyr, like the center of his soul was the problem while it had never been.

"Can you please stop? I'm tired of hearing you whine about how exhausting you are. No. It's not the actual loving you that's exhausting. You are lovable Chris as much as anyone else and to me even more than others. What's been exhausting is those past few weeks, this night we spent together. It's officially knowing you will never be able to return my feelings but knowing you still acted like you could. Holding my hand, looking at me with that smile. Telling me those nice things. Kissing me like I'm the best thing in your life. It's you playing with me that's killing me."

Tears of rage started rolling down your cheeks and for once you didn't want to keep them in. You wanted him to see how much pain he caused you.

"I never played with you I promise. I really do like you and enjoy being with you. That was never fake."

You let out an icy, short laugh. "And you think that makes it better? That is the definition of playing with someone Chan. A minute ago you told me you couldn't give me anything more. Now you're saying you meant everything. You're admitting to doing all those things even though you knew you never wanted more. And don't try to lie and tell me you were doing this for me or to try and see if you could actually be with me. You only did it for yourself, with your interests in mind. You wanted what I can give you without actually committing."

He dropped his gaze to the floor, unable to keep eye contact with you. He seemed defeated and his silence was nothing short of a confirmation of everything you accused him of. For the first time a word you would have never used in a thousand years to describe him came to mind. You took a step closer, forcing him to look into your eyes.

"I'm pretty sure you enjoy being with me. Everyone wants to be loved, and feel they matter but you act like you don't because you're afraid of what it entails. You're a coward," you seethed. "You build this wall around you, pretending you don't want anyone to love you the way you love them because you want to protect them, because you are just so noble and kind." You paused and scoffed, allowing time for your words to sink in. "But the truth is you're just scared. You're scared shitless Christopher. Scared not to be enough. Scared to be rejected. Scared to experience pain and loss. Everyone, and I do mean EVERYONE is scared of those things. The difference is we still try."

You took another step, your hands floating up to his face. "I know it means more to love you than it would mean to experience pain and fear." His face contorted as he tried to keep in tears. Your rage softened for a second and you rested your hand on his broad chest. Immediately his hand covered up yours. He took a breath, on the edge of saying something but you wouldn't allow it.

"At least that's what I used to believe." You slipped your hands from his and backed away. "I don't think I can anymore. Not when I have been shown so clearly that my feelings are not respected and understood for what they truly are. I love you, Chris. All I want to do is support and be there for you. I thought you just needed me to prove the depth of my love and I did so for the past year. I thought it would reassure you and kill that fear in your heart. I always thought you were such a kind and loving soul, that you just needed to see I really did love you for all you are. Now I'm starting to think maybe you are as emotionless as you try to make it seem to everyone." His brows furrowed at the accusation. "And you know what? I could even forgive that. I could forgive you if this was how you felt and you were honest with me about it. But no. You keep acting like you can one day return my feelings. You keep stringing me along." Your voice broke on the last words. It was hard to admit the truth. He had broken you in ways you could never explain. You were vulnerable, pathetically screaming at him from the side of the road. But you wouldn't stop. Now that you allowed yourself to be honest, words kept tumbling out of your mouth uncontrollably. You felt a rush to your head, you felt dizzy, feverish. "And you know what's the worst about it? I know about all of this and still, I can't even get rid of those stupid feelings. I wish I could trust myself not to fall further in love with you but I can't. Every time I see you it all comes back. I can't forget your stupid smile and your stupid dimples and your stupid hugs and that stupid kiss we shared."

A deep breath escaped your tired body. "I wish I hated you."

Those tiny, hushed-out words felt like a direct punch to the gut. Physically incapable of speaking, your words echoed in his head eclipsing any other thoughts.

You drew a painful breath. It was over. You said what needed to be said. And even if it did feel good in the moment, you were left an empty shell. Silently, you both got back in the car. Chan took your place in the driver seat while you sat with your hood pulled up facing the window. In the back, seven boys acted as if they were still asleep even when they had heard everything.

🏷️ list: @httpdwaekki @omgsecretsecret @lovesunshinefelix @luvstaymin @jupire @nebugalaxy @drewsandsebastianswife @whyyougottadothatbro @parisanmorovati @greyyeti @chanssmiles @wildtokay @my-neurodivergent-world @xotinytinaxo @ramadiiiisme @potentialgay

[rebouks]

Previous // Next

Levi: Sorry I’m late, practice draaaaagged today-.. what’re we doing? Robin: We haven’t decided yet. Levi: I thought you’d be at Aster’s again, he said he was busy tonight. Alex: Aster’s? Robin: We’ve been.. hanging out. Levi: [laughs] Hanging out. Alex: Wha-.. why didn’t you tell me?! Robin: I didn’t wanna be the one to out him! Alex: So, how come he knows? Levi: I set them up! [Robin desperately tried to decipher Alex’s reaction, but the look of frustration on her face didn’t exactly tell him why she felt that way or what she was thinking] Alex: Why? Levi: Just a little social engineering-.. except stupid Aster’s in denial or whatever, but it’s fine, I have another plan! Robin: He doesn’t, don’t listen to him. Levi: I-… Alex: Do you even like him?! Robin: Well, I’m still getting to know him… Levi: What’s the problem-.. you’re not jealous, are you? Alex: No! Levi: I could set you up with someone too? I’m pretty sure Harry has a thing for you. Alex: Pfft, he does not-.. and all this manipulation doesn’t feel right. Levi: It doesn’t have to be a big deal-.. no one’s asking you to marry the guy, geez. Alex: No. Levi: [scoffs] Fine, your loss. Alex: You’re just trying to force everyone together so you don’t have to choose-.. you can’t just throw people at each other for your own benefit! Levi: Who said it was for my benefit? Alex: Please, it’s obvious you’re only thinking of yourself. Robin: Guys-… Alex: How would Aster feel if he knew he’d been socially engineered, or whatever-.. ‘cause I doubt you’d like it! Levi: Oh my god, relax! Alex: You should-… [With a deep breath and her fists by her side, Alex stopped herself abruptly, turned on her heel, and left] Levi: [tuts] Girls take everything so seriously. Robin: I don’t know, maybe she’s got a point…

…

Robin: Wait! Alex: I didn’t want to say something I couldn’t take back… Robin: I don’t mind, you can say anything you want. Alex: Yeah, with you, but-… Robin: But? Alex: I just-… Robin: Just what?! I can’t read your mind, Alex! … … Alex: I don’t think Levi has your best interests at heart sometimes, that’s all-.. and it’s not fair to manipulate people! If you could just tell people what to do, would you do it? Robin: No… Alex: Exactly, no one should have that type of control. Robin: I’m just trying to help him. Alex: Maybe you should think about yourself once in a while.

…

Levi: Hey, wait up! Levi: Is she in a mood? Robin: I don’t know. Levi: Maybe she is jealous-.. where’re you going? Robin: Home. Levi: Can I come..? Robin: Sure.

[amiaclone]

hiii, can I request a fluffy and angsty college au of jealous Semi(player 380) x reader like where the reader is younger than Semi and has a crush on her for a long time. However, Semi rejects the reader’s confession or like doesn’t care abt the reader bcoz of her popularity or for other reasons (you may choose). Then, the reader starts spending time with someone else, which makes Semi(player 380) jealous and prompts her to try to win the reader back. Thank you so much in advance, and I love your writing!!!

Thank you! I’ll try mixing the two a bit cause it sounds interesting

Tw: angst ig? And maybe some

Cursing

Se mi x gn! Reader

College au

You sighed in the hallway tugging your books

Should you do it? Should you tell *her*?

Se mi your first and only ever crush maybe you were delusional I mean she was only like two years older then you but still! You have a chance

You were friends with her…..to an extent I mean

She stared at you for more then three minutes that one time! There was hope maybe-

“You aren’t thinking about Se mi again are you?”

Your friend piped up walking towards you seeing your sighing they could swear they saw hearts in your eyes

“Shh! She might hear you!” *You hushed them down they laughed a bit in amusement*

“Y/n no offense or anything but you make it so obvious you stare at her all the time you stumble and stutter when she asks you simple questions you’re just….” *She looked at you up and down* “A mess.”

You rolled your eyes “Well no help from *you* I’m finally gonna confess to her!” *Their eyes widened a bit like they were just told the most unbelievable news then erupted into laughter* “Your humorous…y/n”

You rolled your eyes ready to give a glare then they punched your shoulder “I’m just messing I’m just glad you’re *finally* going for it how long has it been since you’ve liked her?” *You pondered in thought taking it seriously* “Eight years?” *F/n gave you a thumbs up* “Then why don’t you give her……eight roses, to show her how long you liked her?”

You smiled at the idea “Genius……what if she doesn’t accept?” *Your friend immediately covered your mouth* “Don’t you DARE start thinking about that stuff listen here y/n you’re gonna go up and confess…..when exactly?”

You shook her off “Ok ok! I’ll do it this afternoon where am I gonna get the roses?” *They gave you finger guns* “I’ve got you covered babe.”

Just as they said that the bells ringed signalling time for class i waved back with a knowing look and head to chemistry

Ahh chemistry

Se mi was in that class!

You headed in and there Se mi was leaning on her seat hanging around most of her friends

Well half were just people wanting to be her friend but honestly you couldn’t blame them Se mi was well…..there was a lot of things you could say about her

For one she was extremely pretty…..she was awesome at well everything even the stuff she was bad at and she was popular but not mean…

Lucky for you, you were seatmates! Which is why you’ve gotten somewhat close…..in your eyes anyway you often wonder what those pretty eyes of her see you as

The other students headed off to do there own business and the teacher was heading in soon so you smiled at Se mi and she smiled back

“Hey y/n what’s up?”

Your stomach fluttered with butterflies by her simply acknowledging your existence

“Hey Se mi you….busy later?”

She pondered in thought as if she was thinking deeply then she smirked

“Messing I’m not really do anything why, you need something?”

You felt nervous but you already went front you can’t go back “Can we meet at the backyard later? Yk….nothing bad or anything”

She twirled a bit of her hair

“Sure why not”

“Alright class!”

That sound cued you both to take your seats she winked at you and class begun

*Time skip to where you meet up with your friend*

Your heart began to race heavily time was getting nearer you really weren’t sure if you wanted to do this….

Your friend noticed your shaky behaviour and shook their head “Hey, you don’t have to do this….except you’re definitely gonna regret it if you back out now.”

You shook your head “I’m fine. I just…need some….did you get the roses?” *Your friend winked playfully and handed them out to you*

“Thank you” *You stared at the eight roses for how long you’ve liked her….wow you really have liked her too long huh*

“What time is it now?” *You spoke out of the blue your friend pondered in thought* “Some time between the afternoon definitely” *Panic began to erupt in you* “Shoot! I asked Se mi to meet up with me around this time I’ve gotta go!”

You ran out before your friend could even comprehend what happened

You reached the backyard of the school and Se mi…wasn’t there? That relieved you for a second….maybe it was early?

You realised your phone was in your pocket so you checked the time and it was……”3pm?”

You noticed Se mi walking with some of her friends and you instantly hid the roses behind your back while walking up to her

“Hey Se mi…could you excuse us for a bit?” *You tried to ask her friends nicely a load of them seemed confused or irritated but they shrugged off and walked off Se mi quirked an eyebrow*

“Um Se mi remember i asked you to meet up? It’s okay if you forgot! Was asking”

Se mi looked confused then realisation came upon her and laughed a bit

“Oh yeah i forgot about that….sorry about it can’t be that serious though like you said what is it?”

It honestly kinda hurt you even though you told her it didn’t when she said she forgot but whatever…..”Um well….” *You handed her the roses and she stopped staring at them* “I’ve liked you for…..eight years. I’m not good with romantic lines so….i just want you to know if you….perhaps feel the same way?”

Se mi then sighed thinking and pacing “Fuck y/n this is….kinda..you’ve liked me that long?” *You nodded almost shamefully* “This is….kinda awkward i…..I’m sorry but i…..you…I’ll be upfront cause i trust you but I don’t feel the same way”

If your heart could it would have shattered in the moment but you just stood there your brain was screaming with random things you couldn’t make out “Oh….” “I’m sorry…”

You forced a smile “No it’s okay we can still be friends i hope….right?”

She smiled back “Yeah I don’t let things like this get awkward with friendships welll see ya later…I hope you’re okay these roses are pretty though”

The two of you walked separate ways and just as she led the tears threatened to spill you felt like a fool a dummy a stalker all bad things and you couldn’t get them out of your head

You met up with your friend who was ready to cheer excitedly then noticed your gloomy behaviour

“Oh no babe….that happened I’m sorry-“ *The second you reached to her you began to sob uncontrollably. You felt like a crybaby that you couldn’t just take it well maybe then she would have liked you….*

Your friend walked you back to you and their dorm and gave you a bunch of blankets and tissues and whatever else you like

“I’ll…give you some time.”

You lied down in bed and processed everything i mean it’s not like she humiliated you or anything it’s just…….i mean what were you expecting honestly? “Now she probably thinks I’m a freak for liking her that long….” *You couldn’t help but say and think these things are true i mean what if they are?!*

Eventually you got worned out and passed in a blissful sleep

Eventually once you woke up you felt a sudden dread…..why?

Oh yeah your crush rejected you

And that you had to face her today

I mean you said it right? You don’t wanna make it awkward honestly you regret saying that maybe avoiding her was better….

You honestly didn’t know

*As you got up and brushed your teeth and hair and got ready your friend was tying their shoes and went up to you*

“Heyy y/n….you doing okay?”

*You simply stared at them and they got the hint were you supposed to be okay?*

“So…do you plan on talking to her?”

*You sighed*

“I mean I told her it was fine so….i don’t wanna make it awkward so i might as well try to act like I’m fine”

*Your friend stared in empathy*

“Well…I’m sure after this day you’ll be fine…it’s just a day right?”

You sighed and forced a small smile

“You’re right”

You headed out and even if people weren’t it felt like people were staring at you…is it anxiety is it real? You didn’t know and that made you even more scared….

Luckily one of your later classes were with se mi so you had all day to prepare to see her which you did

*Time skip to your second or third class*

It was time. You were gonna see Se mi

You took a breath and walked into class trying to seem as normal as possible and there was Se mi

Leaning on the chair just talking to her friends she noticed you and smiled like usual

“Hey y/n we were just talking about the teacher giving us an extra strict lecture….teachers sure are funny”

You force a smile you didn’t wanna make things awkward she didn’t deserve that

“Really? Wow they probably just want us to learn…”

Se mi snorted a bit and talked to you as if yesterday never happened….

It sorta relieved but upsetted you at the same time like wow it hit hard

She really doesn’t like you back. A truth you finally have it fully hit

After some time the teacher came in and you sat next to Se mi you’d normally be thrilled to be seatmates with her but right now? You don’t feel like you’re ready to face her….

*Another time skip I’ll just make it short*

The day was mainly just you trying to make se mi know or atleast think things were cool between you two eventually the day ended and you felt drained and you barely did anything

You layed down in bed thankfully tomorrow was a weekend most people would leave to visit families you planned on staying you can use this to relax all day

Eventually that day came by and well you were a mess

You groaned as your friend turned on the lights in your face

“Oh come on y/n that’s enough petting! It’s been two days you have to be strong now”

You only stared at her blankly

“Well what am i supposed to do? Get over it?”

You friend pondered like what if they were about to say was bad “Well you could you know get over it..”

You sighed “Well obviously I should but….i loved her….”

Your friend had a small pitied look

“Well…there’s plenty of people around I don’t know try making a new friend or something…”

You sighed then got up as if you suddenly got a burst of energy “Okay”

You got ready and headed out and went outside in the backyard and a student happened to be sitting on your usual spot

You mentally decided this was the perfect time to make a friend! Who knows maybe something else could happen….

“Hey this is my usual spot nobody usually goes around here….names y/n”

The person shot there head up “I don’t see your name on it.” *they smirk a bit jokingly*

You scoff smiling a bit “I basically claimed it please….you got a name?”

They smiled “I’ll let you guess starts with A ends with Z”

Se mi’s pov

Se mi just left her dorm ready to do whatever she wants in her free time

Her mind wandered to y/n oh y/n…..was interesting

Se mi wondered why she was so interested in being around them….they confused her in a good way

Like she felt like she missed something rejecting them and still wanted them around her? Usually if she rejected someone she’d atleast distance herself a bit for their sake

But for y/n? She wanted them around even more…..strange

Speaking of y/n wonder where they are anyway….might catch up a bit she was worried where they were yesterday

Just as she thought that while heading outside she saw y/n! And…..some person she’s never seen

She wouldn’t have been bothered if it seemed like the two or atleast the other person was…..flirting?

Wait why is she bothered! Y/n is free to do whatever they want!

But….eh whatever

She headed over anyways

“Hope I’m not interrupting anything.”

The two turned to Se mi

Y/n laughed a bit “Uh hey Se mi this is….a new student”

“Hey! I just said I’ve been here awhile i just didn’t talk much to others”

Y/n rolled your eyes playfully Se mi quirked an eyebrow

“Well what classes are you in?”

She couldn’t help but question

“Clearly in none of yours” They laughed a bit”

Se mi tried not to frown she didn’t like this persons attitude

“Hey she asked you a question!” Y/n playfully giggled

Se mi tried to hold back whatever these feelings were “Hey so guys wanna hang out?” She mainly gestured it to y/n

Y/n nodded smiling while the other person shrugged giving a small smile

Oh boy

It’s been a week now and the two pair have gotten really close each time Se mi saw them her stomach twisted in a way she didn’t seem to get was she jealous? If so why? She rejected you why-

“Hey y/n” *Se mi approached them*

“Oh hey Se mi barely talked in awhile” *Y/n smiled while Se mi felt bad*

“Yeah it’s just that guy has…..what’s there name?”

“Won’t say it’s a joke of theirs!” *Y/n giggled a bit Se mis eye twitched*

“Yeah well have they ever said anything? Like about you know serious stuff just…….looking out for you”

Y/n quirked an eyebrow “Not sure it matters but there flirty a lot but I’m assuming their jokes most of the time..”

Se mi deadpanned you “most?”

Your pov again

Se mi kept on backing you into a corner asking you questions about you and him you had enough

“Okay Se mi you’re acting weird just why are you so bothered?!”

“Cause I like you!”

Your heart paused

Se mi seemed confused by the words she said then had a serious look

“Yeah i do and I’m sorry it took me a simple jealousy fit to figure it out…”

You didn’t know what to say was this a dream all you did was kiss her

“Will that help you figure it out?”

She nodded smiling “I’m sorry for whatever pain i put you through”

“Shut up! I’m still thinking whether if this is a dream or not”

Soo the ending is kinda rushed but i hope it’s worth it also happy late new years!

[percabethsong]

Ok, I wanted to talk about Annabeth being the reincarnation of Odysseus.

First of all, yes, Annabeth and not Percy. Here's why: they have the same fatal flaw (hubris), fight in similar ways (relying heavily in words and tricks), as well as this comparison being made in the Sea of Monsters itself several times, in which Annabeth (Odysseus) calls herself Nobody (again) to the Cyclops, is the one that wanted to tied herself to listen to the sirens (I know that part was changed in Epic, but let's pretend not for the sake of the intention of the comparison in the book), etcetera. In addition, I know Percy going insane when someone hurts Annabeth is something the whole fandom agrees, which is something he and Odysseus share, but let's be honest, Annabeth does not play about him neither. I would say she went even more nuts about him missing in HOO than he did when she went missing in Titan Curse. Percy could also totally be Penelope, considering their loyalty.

That being said, what I wanted to focus on this post is Athena, and how she made the same mistake again with another version of her protégée, this time her daughter. If we consider that the events of Epic are what happened in PJO, not only Athena (or Minerva, so close enough) abandoned Odysseus again in The Mark of Athena, but she said to Annabeth that she wished Odysseus was there because he would understand the map (that's a line about that in the book). She compared Annabeth to Odysseus, not realising they are the same soul.

Also, if the events of Epic happened in PJO, then it means Athena gave up of creating a world where people held each other with a little more empathy, like she said she wished to do in "I can't help but wonder". She had probably tried for a few centuries, became kinder. I even think that might be why she started to have demigods children: to a child of Athena to be born she needs a real connection with a mortal, which she didn't allow herself before Odysseus. However, with the pass of time (my personal belief is that the Romans treatment towards her would be a main factor in that), she went back to be colder. She has a ruthless father who didn't support her mission to be kinder and told her to be away from her kids, as well as humans who didn't pay her the same respect as they used to.

Then it came Annabeth, this child, her child, who is her favourite, and part of that it's because she reminds her of her favourite champion, her first friend, even if she doesn't acknowledge that. Unaware to her, they are the same person, and this time she's his mother. This version of Odysseus looks up to her so much because her mortal family couldn't understand her and she still carries the admiration Odysseus felt towards her, but without any of the bad memories.

And yet.

Yet Athena breaks her (his) trust again. Yet Athena disapproves Percy (Penelope), who in any life, Odysseus (Annabeth) would do anything for. More than that, Athena is one of the main reasons that Annabeth took so long to accept Percy as the love of her life.

So Annabeth (Odysseus) resents her again, and when Athena realises who her daughter is (because I am sure she would eventually) it's already too late. She made the same mistake, and she can hear a voice in her head calling her "Selfish and prideful and vain", but this time, this voice sounds like Annabeth's.

[ignoringmyexams]

Imagine a jason that comes back to gotham, and establishes his criminal empire, all while (accidentally, hes still under the influence of the forbidden apple flavored kool-aid) helping the little guy. The bats are freaking out, trying to figure out who he is, but they cant, ots almost like he is a ghost (jason is competent, and knows how to go inder the radar). Then imagine him planning the attack on tim in the titans tower, but being informed by one of his goons about a deal black mask is doing. He shows up just in time to save tim, as he is being sold to the highest bidder. The sheer anger of seeing a kid like tim go through the same stuff he did while he was out on the streets breaks him out of the pits influence (the fact that tim is a rich kid, with no self preservation, hits jason even harder). He realises that putting tim permanently on the bench will help no one, and that sacrificing children in a crusade is not something that is unique to batman.

He saves tim from black mask, but simply drops him off by the manor. Tim is unconcious, and has no way of explaining to bruce that the red hood saved him, and so batman assumes the red hood was the one to hurt him. This makes him increasingly paranoid.

At the same time jason is realising how he can use his power to help the people of gotham (all while keeping up the crime lord front ofc), and jason makes the red hood a beacon of strength and hope for the gothamites, in a way that batman never could with his scare-tactics. The gothamites are helpful, and listens to him, and rallies aroumd the red hood if they need anyting done, from bullying a corrupt politician, to helping parents clean up a playground.

Jason finally has a support network and a community around him of gothamites and goons, and so he lets his guard down a little. Big mistake. Huge.

Batman catches a glance of his face in some random surveillance camera, and (as the paranoid, slightly mentally unstable individual he is), figures out who the red hood is, and automatically chooses to look past the good that hes done (yknow, significantly lowering crime rates, bringing a larger sense of unity to the city, cleaning up the streets, cleaning up after batmans big fights with his supervillains that destroy the city), and automaticalmy assumes he must be a bad guy, if hes not following his rules.

I can imagine batman telling the batkids to STAY AWAY, so ofc they do the opposite, and while batman assumes the red hood is evil incarnate, the rest of the batkids have a civil relationship with him. Nightwing goes on missions with the red hood, red robin trades intel with him, spoiler comes to him for advice on how to handle being a family disappointment (something the red hood gives suspiciously good advice for, almost like he knows how it is to be a batkid), robin keeps throwing jabs at him, that the other heroes dont know how he gets away with (damian and jason know eachother from the league, i will die on this hill, they love eachother), all the while bruce is growing increasingly worried for their safety (they dont understand why, after all, batman hasnt told them who the red hood is)

The thing is, batman is not the only one who has seen pictures of the red hoods face.

Joker wants to recreate jasons death, and make sure it sticks this time, with batman watching as extra entertainment. And so he plots.

Batman is constantly fighting the red hood, showing up to spoil his plans, and even going after his goons to send a message. He grows increasingly more violent and angry as jasons actions towards others dont reflect how batman thinks that they should be. He sees glimpses of his sons compassion in the way he helps others, and this doesn't mach up with how bruce assumes jason would act after coming out of the pit (because of course someone, probably tim, would figure out that was what happened to him), and even worse, jasons death did not make him violent and bitter (outside of the pits influence), as it did to bruce. And so he has to come to terms with the fact that his son has become better than him, without his guidance.

Jason doesnt even retaliate, just throws the batman off his scent, or fights him off. He is never overly violent, to bruce it just seems like batman is an annoyance to him. And he is right. Jason is simply tired of dealing with a father who obviously doesn't accept him, and has decided to end all hope of ever coming back to the family. Even the batkids notice how uninterested the red hood is towards batmans threats.

Although jason is no longer a regular human, he is still not infallible. He ends up getting so hurt that he has to stay off the streets for a while. And things get bad. People have simply gotten used to how safe the streets have become, and so the chaos that comes with a missing red hood comes as a shock. Batman is focused on fighting his self appointed nemesises, and going on missions to space with the league. The batkids and red hoods goons try to pick up the slack, but they dont have the knowledge, trust from the people, or the firepower to make up for the loss of the red hood. So jason has to return before he is fully healed. The pain hes in makes him slower (because he wont take any drugs for it), and so someone manages to get a hit on him.

He wakes up in a warehouse, tied up with batman.

The joker has the time of his life beating the shit put of jason infront of bruce. Harley quinn has even more fun using her competence as a psychologist to make these two emotionally stunted men actually realize how the other is feeling.

The joker finally has had his fill of demonstrating to batman how he hit jason with a crowbar, and leaves them to be blown up. Bruce is trying to alleviate some of his own guilt complex by giving jason a lecture, and blaming him for dying. Jason is simply fed up and bored.

The bomb goes off.

Jason is still alive. He forces himself out of his restraints. Apparently gotham wasnt finished with him yet, and so he could already see a way out of the now burning warehouse. He feels numb. His red helmet had come off at some point, and he shoves it back on. Jason then turnes to bruce. He too is okay, but unconcious.

The batkids arrive at the warehouse, scared shitless, because their dad, and the red hood who they now (because of damian) know is jason, are both in the raging inferno. Word of what has happened has also reached the citizens of gotham, who surround the warehouse in respect of their (assumed dead) red hood.

Everyone stares as a figure emerges from the fire, limping as they carry someone over their shoulders. The glowing eyes of the red helmet is a bright contrast to the soot and dried blood covering the red hood and batmans bodies. The red hood grunts in stoic pain as he lowers batmans body to the ground infront of nightwing and the batmobile.

Jason turns around and leaves. Either to murder the joker (and help a cat out of a tree), or to go home, treat his wounds and curl up on his lumpy sofa and finish his jane austen book. You decide.

The city no longer belongs to batman, its people have chosen the red hood as its protecter. It depends how mentally unstable bruce is, and how much the batman persona has taken over his life, but the control of the city being taken away from him either gives bruce the break to heal, and eventually reconnect with all of his sons, or it breaks him completely, and lead to an all out war against the red hood. Idk.

[honey-on-your-tongue]

FWB

Part 6 Logan Howlett x fem!reader Series masterlist

You don't see Logan for days. No one does. He disappears and no one even knows if he's going to come back.

But life goes on and the others have a mission to take care of. You…Well, you're in no state to go on a mission, so you stay back to take care of the kids.

That's why you're extra alert. And it's why, in the middle of the night, you manage to hear the back door open all the way from your room.

You pause. Your mutation is more for espionage, for interrogations, it's not really useful in combat. What's the point? Not like knowing people's thoughts in a fight is going to do much good.

Still, you've been trained for combat, to make sure you can protect yourself when need be.

So you walk downstairs, in your pajamas, a switchblade in your hand.

You hear something in the kitchen and you carefully stalk over, heart racing, breathing heavy.

It's gonna be okay, it's gonna be alright, you try to assure yourself.

As you're about to lunge, a voice says, “You're always too loud, never did learn to calm your heartbeat. I heard you a mile away.”

You frown. “Lo?” you whisper. You walk out from behind the wall and peek into the kitchen. There he is, standing in front of the counter with a can of beer. He looks like hell. His beard is longer and messy, his hair is tangled, and his eyes are…empty.

You feel sorry for him, but you also feel hurt and betrayed. The way he treated you last time…

You cross your arms. “What's wrong with you? You can't just fucking walk in here whenever you damn well feel like it. You nearly gave me a heart attack.”

“Where are the others?” he asks, taking a sip from his beer.

“Working,” you reply, tucking the switchblade away.

His eyes follow the movement. “Lotta good that would've done you,” he says sarcastically.

You glare at him. “Where the fuck even were you? You've been gone for, like, a week.”

“I just…needed to clear my head,” he replies. But his thoughts say otherwise.

Drinking, being with other women, running away.

You sigh thickly and cross your arms. “I see.”

“No, bub, look—”

“Don't you bub me! You think you can just treat me like that? Fuck me and disappear without a word? You didn't even leave me a fucking note!” you snap at him.

He shakes his head. “No, listen to me—”

You laugh bitterly. “There's nothing to listen to, Logan, because there's nothing you can say to make this better. I don't need any more of your bullshit. I'm done.”

This seems to finally break his shell of nonchalance. He frowns, eyes widening a little. “What?”

“I'm done,” you repeat, holding his gaze. “Fucking done.”

Logan opens his mouth to reply, but a little voice says, “Is everything okay?”

You turn around. One of the younger kids is standing there, looking at the two of you, his eyes concerned.

“Oh, honey. Everything is alright, it's just that Logan is out of bed when he's not supposed to, and he got in trouble,” you explain, putting a hand on the little boy's head. “C'mon, you go on back to bed too, yeah? I'll tuck you in.”

The little boy nods, looking between you and Logan with uncertainty, but he lets you turn him around and lead him away.

As you're about to leave the kitchen, you give Logan one last look.

And he understands the look. You're not angry, you're not disgusted, you're heartbroken.

He can't believe himself. He...he broke your heart.

---

A/N: it's a little short, but I wanted to put something out on the first day of the year. Happy New Year, babes!!! <333

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Taglist

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Blog masterlist

[nyarii]

Hii~!!

I want to know your headcanon of the tkdb boys, "What if The Honor Student turns into a cat?"

🤔🤔

THE GHOULS TAKING CARE OF YOU AFTER YOU TURNED INTO A CAT (PT1)

Frostheim

Kaito :

• Doesn’t think you could look any cuter than you already are. Was proven wrong. • Can’t keep his eyes on you for more than two seconds because he’s about to burst from how cute you are • Doesn’t stop taking pictures of you. Probably made a folder on his phone from all the pictures of you as a cat • Want to show how cute you are to everyone that will listen, but as the same time want to make sure nobody see how adorable you are • If you show him ANY type of affection, like rubbing yourself on his legs, he’s dead. Red in the face. Combusting.

Lucas :

• Is slightly concerned for you • Don’t let that stop him from hanging out with you. Treat you as if you’re still human. • Oh ? You can’t see because you’re too small ? That’s okay. He’ll carry you in his arms. People keep bumping into you ? It’s fine. You can stand on his shoulders. • Somehow understand everything you’re trying to tell him Thoma :

• No ? He’s not laughing at you, come on. How could you assume that ? • Is amused. Doesn’t outright say he find the situation interesting, but you can see it from the smirk on his face • Let you struggle a bit for his own entertainment. Oh ? Seems like you’re very popular with the Frostheim girls. You don’t like being petted ? That’s a shame… He can’t spoil the fun now. Can he ? • Will probably dump you on Jin just for the pleasure of seeing him struggle with you, pretending that he can’t do much about it Jin :

• He’s pissed. Now, HOW did that happen and WHY does HE have to take care of you ? • No, there’s absolutely no way you’ll stay near him in that condition. • But despite all that bravado and all his scolding and frowning, he let you stay in his room • Actually, doesn’t even let you get out of his room until you’ve returned to your original form • Sleep on his couch, because there’s no way he’s sleeping next to you on the bed. • Frown when he sees the hair you let everywhere on his bed but doesn’t scold you, surprisingly? • No matter where you’re sleeping he refuses to make you move. Oh, you decided to fall asleep on his paperwork ? Tch. It’s fine. He doesn’t care. What do you mean these are important paperwork ? • Pretend he doesn’t care but buy you all the most expensive and fancy cat food existing.

N/A : Other parts with each houses coming soon !

[justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms]

Hii! I was wondering if you could do some headcanons on being in a relationship with some Tokyo Debunker boys.. Specifically Ritsu, Ren, Yuri, Lyca, Haru, and Towa, Ive been in love with these guys lately so I would appreciate it. Please and thank you 🫶

Hi! Thank you for your request! Sorry it took so long. I hope you like the headcanons!

Fandom: Tokyo Debunker

Characters: Ritsu Shinjo, Ren Shiranami, Yuri Isami, Lyca Colt, Haru Sagara, Towa Otonashi x gn! Reader (separate)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What's it like being a relationship with them?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Being in a relationship with Ritsu means looking the other way when he’s doing something potentially morally questionable. He means well but doesn’t always consider the social implications of his actions.

Dating him also means being reasonably good with words so you can smooth over any arguments that may arise. If you’re not the best at that sort of thing, don’t worry. You will be soon.

At the same time, Ritsu is one of the most attentive people you’ve ever come across. And if you’re in a relationship with him, that will only increase.

He’d do anything to make sure you’re happy and comfortable with him. And he’ll jump at the opportunity to defend you if anyone dares say anything mean about you. In his mind, they’re objectively wrong anyway so it’s his job to correct them.

Having Ritsu as your boyfriend is a wild ride but you’ll never doubt the care he puts into making sure you know just how much he loves you.

Being in a relationship with Ren is a struggle sometimes. He’s not exactly the most socially adept, especially when it comes to keeping relationships so you’ll have to be patient with him.

You’ll spend a lot of time playing video games and watching movies with him so hopefully you like that sort of thing. He likes having your company, even if he’ll never say it.

You’ll also be the only person he actually wants to visit him while he’s at work in the diner. He likes being able to look up from his phone every once in a while and see you sitting at the corner booth waving at him.

Slowly breaking down his walls is going to be a challenge but if there’s anyone Ren trusts to do it, it’s you. He’ll slowly learn to let you in and see the version of himself he tries to hide from others.

Having Ren as your boyfriend is freeing. You can both be yourselves around each other without needing to worry about strange interests or mean comments.

Being in a relationship with Yuri means being able to look past his bluster to see the person he really is. It also means getting to see the real Yuri and loving him regardless.

You’re going to learn about his insecurities if you’re dating him which might be a shock at first. He doesn’t let his walls down for just anyone so if he starts showing you his true self, it’s a sure sign that he trusts you deeply.

He is going to request your help with his experiments a lot, so be prepared for that. You don’t have to be smart but he is going to talk to you as if you are. Just nod along and hand him tools when he asks for them.

Yuri often needs someone to talk to about his ideas and you’re that person for him. He’s surprisingly good at listening to your problems and ideas as well. You’re each other’s sounding board.

Having Yuri as your boyfriend is a more caring environment than you might think. He really does love you and even though he knows he can be abrasive sometimes, he’ll do what he can to make sure you know how he feels.

Being in a relationship with Lyca means always learning and evolving, both as an individual and as part of a couple. He’s still learning the ropes and it would mean a lot to him if you did the same.

You’re going to have some strange courting rituals, that’s for sure. Lyca thinks he knows how to date someone but that might be very different to how you would imagine it. The best thing is to just go with the flow.

There will be a really strong sense of mutual protection in your relationship. If anyone speaks badly of you, Lyca’s stepping up to defend you. And he would be honoured if you do the same for him.

Since he’s still learning about life, he would love it if you share your favourite things with him. Whether it’s food, tv shows, or hobbies, he enjoys learning about the things you like.

Having Lyca as your boyfriend is a nurturing environment where you’re always learning from each other.

Being in a relationship with Haru means there’s never going to be a dull moment. He’s always busy and would be delighted if you joined him on his odd jobs.

You’re going to be unofficially married as soon as you start dating. He takes relationships very seriously and has to hold himself back from telling people you’re soulmates.

In the same manner, you’ll also be a parent to the anomalies of Jabberwock. He’s already their dad so they see you as their other parent. And Haru feels the same way.

You can’t be in a relationship with Haru and not develop a good eye for discounts and bargains. It’s second nature to him and it’s going to rub off on you as well.

Having Haru as your boyfriend is fun but it’s also more loving than you could imagine. It’s like being part of a caring family.

Being in a relationship with Towa is fun. There’s no other way of describing it. You never really know what’s going to happen next but you know it will be exciting.

You’re going to be gifted flowers a lot more than you would expect. Everytime you see him it’s a new bunch. And if you’re allergic, they’re going to be fake flowers. He doesn’t want to make your allergies act up.

Stargazing dates are a must. Towa already likes looking at the stars but getting to do that knowing you’re beside him is even better.

He’s going to drag you around a lot, taking you to places you never would have found by yourself. He loves exploring with you and finding places known only to you two.

Having Towa as your boyfriend is an adventure. You’re going to experience a lot of things but you’ll experience them together.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[arc852]

Fault 1/3

Summary: It's been two days since the incident where Jimmy fell out of Joel's pocket and Joel is completely blaming himself for what happened. When Tango wants to hang out with Jimmy, Joel is just barely containing his anger and jealousy on top of everything else.

Warnings: self-blame, self-deprecation, anger, crying, breaking down, jealousy and arguing

Word Count: 4121

AO3 Link

Happy New Year everyone! I'm hopefully starting the year off right by posting a new fic within the bbbcau! This one takes place pretty much right after Not Just a Drunken Dream, so I hope you enjoy!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Joel found that it was still hard to pay attention to his classes.

 Two days ago, Jimmy had fallen from his pocket and had almost been crushed by the crowds of students going to and from class. He had then been picked up and they could only count themselves lucky that it was Tango of all people who had done so. Joel always tried not to think about what would happen if Jimmy fell into the wrong hands. But he did anyway and Jimmy had almost ended up dead or in the hands of someone who might not have treated him like a person.

 And it was all Joel’s fault.

 Joel could still remember the panic that shot through his whole body when he had stuck his hand in his pocket after sitting down in class, only to discover that Jimmy was no longer there. He had immediately left his class, pulled Grian out of his, and then had searched all over for Jimmy. Only for him to be returned to them by none other than Tango.

 Joel rested the back of his hands on his forehead and leaned against them with his elbows firmly on the table. He closed his eyes and let the professor’s voice wash over him. Though he was technically listening, he wasn’t retaining any of the words. Mind still wandering toward Jimmy.

 He had been so stupid. Why hadn’t he kept his hand in the pocket with Jimmy? He usually did, why was that time any different? He should have been more careful. Who cares if he was late to class? He should have been walking slower and paying more attention to his surroundings. Instead, he had rammed into somebody with enough force to knock Jimmy out of his pocket.

 So so stupid.

 He was vaguely aware of someone taking the seat next to him, which was weird because the class had been going on for at least a half hour now. He kept his head down though, not looking until he heard a familiar voice psst at him.

 “Psst! Joel.” The voice whispered and Joel finally looked over to see Tango sitting there. Joel blinked, having forgotten that Tango was even in this class with him.

 “Hey, do you have Jimmy with you?” Tango asked, still whispering. Though even his whispers seemed too loud to Joel. His eyes widened and he looked around to make sure no one was paying attention. No one was, of course, but Joel was extra paranoid after what had happened two days ago.

 “Shhh!” Joel shushed Tango, who looked surprised at that. “You can’t just mention him like that!” Joel whispered back to him in a bit of a harsher tone.

 “Wha- I’m being quiet!” Tango said, his whisper getting just a tiny bit louder. “I just wanted to know.”

 Joel knew he wasn’t being very fair towards Tango but currently the man was only bringing up unwanted memories. That he had already been thinking about anyway. Joel sighed. “No, he’s not. It’s probably going to be a while before he comes to class with us again.” And even longer before it would be with Joel. 

 “Oh.” Tango wilted a bit but perked back up a moment later. “Well, is it okay if I see him after class?” Tango asked with a smile and Joel just looked at him.

 Joel narrowed his eyes. “Why?”

 Tango blinked, A bit taken aback by the hostility he was feeling from Joel. “I uh…I mean, I thought we could hang out? Properly this time, ya know?” Tango said, a bit hesitant now as he rubbed the back of his neck. 

 Joel was trying very hard to hold himself back from saying no just straight up. He was still on edge after what happened two days ago and even though he knew Tango, knew him to be kind, Joel was loath to have any other humans around Jimmy right now.

 He took a deep breath, knowing that ultimately, it wasn’t his decision. It was Jimmy’s. But even still, Joel knew Jimmy was also still a bit off from two days ago. The borrower was taking it easy right now and so Joel was confident that Jimmy would turn Tango away. The thought made him feel a bit better and so he finally turned to answer Tango. “I’ll have to ask him if he’s up for that right now.” Joel said, keeping his voice low and monotone. Despite his tone though, Tango grinned and looked excited.

 “Right, right! Of course.” Tango said and then leaned back in his chair to focus back on the teacher. Joel scoffed silently to himself and rolled his eyes, placing a hand on his cheek and leaning on it. If he honestly expected Jimmy to say yes right now, after what had just happened, then Tango was a bigger idiot than he was.

 The next half hour went by incredibly slowly, all things considered, especially as all Joel could pay attention to was Tango beside him. He could feel the excitement rolling off the engineering major in waves and it was honestly annoying Joel more than he was willing to admit.

 Once class was over, Joel closed his laptop without saving and shoved it into his bag. It wasn’t like he took any notes anyway. He had little to no idea what they had just learned about for the last hour but it was fine. He could just get notes off of somebody else. His eyes wandered over to Tango at that thought but he pushed it down for now. He zipped up his bag and slung it over his shoulder.

 Tango gave him a smile as he waited for him before starting to head out of the classroom. Joel followed him out and they paused outside of the door. “Can we head back to your dorm now, or did you have another class?” Tango asked, bouncing on the balls of his feet in barely hidden eagerness. Joel was now half wishing he did but he shook his head.

 “No, we can head there now. I guess.” Joel said and started walking first. Tango was quick to follow, not at all put off by Joel’s attitude. 

 They didn’t speak much on their way over to the dorm building. Joel felt awkward for reasons he couldn’t explain. Tango was his friend after all. Even if Joel was currently giving him a bit of the cold shoulder. Joel was happy to break the silence once they actually made it to his dorm door. “I’ll go ask him but you gotta stay here. I don’t want to overwhelm or scare Jimmy by having a human that he wasn’t expecting come in.”

 “Right, right, of course.” Tango said. The patient but eager grin on his face made Joel’s blood boil.

 “Be right back.” Joel snapped and then opened the door, but only enough for him to slip through. He didn’t want Jimmy catching a glimpse at Tango from the outside after all. He looked around, realizing Grian wasn’t there, which meant he was probably still in class. Scanning the room a bit more, he saw Jimmy on his bed with what must have been Grian’s phone. He was stomach down facing the phone, although his head had turned once he heard the door open.

 “Hey Joel!” Jimmy exclaimed in greeting, sitting up from his position and turning his body to face Joel. Whatever was on the phone had been paused. “How was class?”

 Joel came closer, setting his bag on the back of his chair before going back around his bed. “It was fine.” Joel lied, not wanting to get into the fact he had barely paid attention to the class at all. Gosh he was tired. All he wanted was to lay in bed and hold Jimmy close. At least here in the room he knew for sure nothing bad could happen to Jimmy. 

 But Tango was still waiting outside, so he at least had to ask Jimmy to get this over with and make that a reality. 

 “By the way, Tango is waiting outside. He was wondering if you wanted to hang out with him. I already figured you wouldn’t be feeling up for it though so I can just go ahead and tell him-” Joel was cut off as Jimmy stood fully up on the bed.

 “Wait, Tango is here? Of course I want to hang out with him! Send him in!” Jimmy said, a grin on his face, his eyes wide with excitement. 

 Joel felt his entire body deflate as he simply looked at Jimmy. “...Are you sure? Because after what happened-”

 “I’m sure, Joel. I’m fine, I promise.” Jimmy said and Joel searched his eyes for any hint that he was lying. He wasn’t.

 “Right. Um, okay.” His voice felt thick for no good reason and he blinked more to try and keep the water from his eyes. What the hell was wrong with him? “I’ll go tell him then.” He turned almost numbly and headed toward the door, opening it to reveal that Tango was still there and waiting patiently. He gave Joel a smile though it faltered slightly when he saw his expression.

 “Tango!” Jimmy cried out from behind him and it was just loud enough for Tango to hear. His expression shifted back into the grin from before.

 “Jimmy, hey!” Tango exclaimed back, looking past Joel to be able to see Jimmy on the bed. Joel shifted a bit awkwardly and moved out of the way to let Tango come in.

 “Come on in. Jimmy, uh, said okay to hanging out. As I’m sure you figured out.” Joel said and no one seemed to notice his pained tone or expression as Tango came in and walked right over to Jimmy. Joel was quick to close the door behind Tango, not wanting someone randomly walking by and seeing Jimmy.

 He stayed a good bit away behind Tango, just standing there as he watched Tango crouch down so Jimmy didn’t have to crane his neck so much. “How have you been?” Tango asked and Joel noticed that Tango was at least keeping his hands to himself. “Joel told me you aren’t really going to class with them anymore.”

 “I’ve been good, but yeah, it might be a bit before I’m comfortable going back to class with them again.” Jimmy said with a slight laugh, his hand going behind him to rub at his neck. Joel found himself wincing at that, crossing his arms in a way to both hide and hug himself.

 He was the reason Jimmy didn’t feel safe going out with them to class anymore. This was all his fault.

 “Well, do you feel comfortable enough coming back to my dorm with me to hang out?” Tango said, which startled Joel out of his own self-blame. He all but jumped to Tango’s side, looking at him with wide eyes.

 “Wait, what?” Joel said, not trying to hide the shock in his tone.

 Jimmy, for his part, also looked surprised but not with the same kind of dread that Joel was feeling. “To your dorm?”

 “Yeah.” Tango looked a bit sheepish now. “I mean, I figured we could have some lunch. Properly hang out and get to know each other, ya know?” Tango explained before continuing a moment later. “Oh, and don’t worry about Impulse. He’s got a full day of classes ahead of him. He won’t be back for a few more hours at least.”

 Joel had to say something. “I don’t think-”

 “That does sound like fun.” Jimmy said with a smile and a certain spark in his eyes that Joel had only seen when Jimmy was really excited about something. Joel could feel his body deflate once again, the pit in his stomach growing even more.

 Jimmy then did something that Joel hadn’t been expecting, and that was turning to look at him with his head slightly tilted. “Is that okay with you, Joel?”

 Joel could feel his cheeks heat up and from his peripheral, because he refused to take his eyes off Jimmy right now, he could see Tango looking back and forth between them with a certain look on his face. Joel was suddenly reminded that Tango had been the one to remind them that Jimmy was the one who should have the ultimate decision in whatever he did. Which Joel did agree wholeheartedly with, even if it was hard to do sometimes.

 But the fact that Jimmy was asking him now, about this, felt…well, Joel wasn’t sure. All he knew was that he really wanted to say no. He wanted to pick Jimmy up and hold him close, hold him away from Tango and just be. He wanted to scream at Tango to go away, he wanted to cry angrily into his pillow, he wanted to have not messed up-

 But Tango had been the one to right his wrong, in the end. Had been the one who ended up saving and protecting Jimmy. The thing that Joel failed at. Maybe…maybe Tango deserved Jimmy’s time more than Joel did.

 So Joel turned his head away, feigning disinterest. He’s not sure how much he succeeded though. “Why are you asking me? You can do what you want.” Joel said, his tone a bit sharper than he had intended.

 Thankfully, or maybe not, Joel wasn’t really sure at this point, but no one noticed. Jimmy just blinked and then grinned as he turned back to Tango. “I guess I can.” Jimmy chuckled a bit to himself. “Yes, Tango, I would love to have lunch with you.”

 Tango grinned back. “Great!” He said excitedly. He then paused and looked a bit awkward all of a sudden. “Um, how uh, how did you want to do this then?” Tango asked and Jimmy laughed a bit.

 Joel was back to crossing his arms, maybe a bit tighter than one would normally, and he looked away from the playful awkwardness of Tango getting used to picking Jimmy up. Although, if his peripheral vision was anything to go off of, Tango didn’t exactly pick Jimmy up but held out his hand for him. Jimmy climbed on with what at least appeared to be no hesitation. Joel stopped looking through his peripheral.

 He only turned back when Tango addressed him. “Don’t worry Joel, I’ll have him back before dinner.” He said with a chuckle, playfully acting like he was taking Jimmy on a date and Joel was Jimmy’s father. At least, that’s what Tango’s line and delivery reminded Joel of.

 “You better.” Joel mumbled, trying not to stare at Tango too intensely. He was probably failing though, so he let his eyes wander down to Jimmy.

 “I’ll see you later Joel!” Jimmy said and Joel nodded, hoping Jimmy didn’t notice how fast and often he was blinking.

 “See you later.” Joel said. “Be safe.” He said a bit quieter, though did he actually know what that meant? He thought his pocket had been safe after all. He thought Jimmy had been safe with him.

 Joel could barely watch as Tango left with Jimmy, but he did. He watched as Tango held Jimmy close to his chest, cupping his free hand over in front of him in order to hide him in case there were any people wandering around the halls. Joel followed them to the door, numbly helping Tango open it, since his hands were full with Jimmy. It took him a while to actually close the door, not doing so until Tango had turned the corner far down the hall.

 The door closed with a click and it was suddenly all too quiet.

 Joel went and sat down on his bed and just…stared. His hands gripped at the fabric of his pants and he glared down at the floor.

 He didn’t exactly mean to stay like that but before he knew it, the door was opening again and Grian walked into the room. Grian paused as he noticed Joel’s position and looked at him in confusion. “Joel? Everything okay?”

 “Fine.” Joel said, his tone sharp and quick. Grian didn’t look convinced but then again, Joel wasn’t really trying to hide his feelings anymore. Grian looked around, noticing someone seemed missing.

 “Where’s Jimmy?” Grian asked and the question alone had Joel tightening his hold on the fabric of his jeans. He grit his teeth and took a deep breath. It did little to calm him though.

 “With Tango.” Joel practically spat out. Grian looked taken aback for a moment, blinking in surprise.

 “Tango?” Grian asked, ignoring, for a moment, Joel’s tone.

 Joel let out a shaky huff of breath. “Tango came up to me in class and asked if he could hang out with Jimmy. I said he’d have to ask Jimmy himself. So he came over.” Joel let his eyes fall away from Grian’s and back onto the floor. “I really thought Jimmy would say no.” Joel said a bit quieter.

 Grian raised an eyebrow at him. “You thought he would say no? Is that why you’re being like…this?” He motioned toward all of Joel and Joel lifted his head to scowl at him. Grian didn’t back down from it though, simply crossed his arms and looked at Joel with that stupid knowing look Joel hated.

 “Like what, Grian? Not sure I know what you mean?” His voice went high but his glare stayed true, daring Grian to continue.

 “Come on, you can’t admit that you’re jealous?” Grian said and that had Joel absolutely fuming. He stood up faster than even he had been expecting and got into Grian’s face. The fact that Grian appeared unaffected by this just made Joel even angrier.

 “I’m not jealous. Jimmy can do whatever the bloomin’ hell he wants! Tango probably deserves him more than me anyway!” Joel shouted, fuming. He hadn’t even realized what he actually said until he saw Grian’s knowing look drop and his eyes go wide.

 “Joel…”

 “Shut up! Shut up!” Joel yelled, backing up a step to get himself out of Grian’s face. He didn’t want to hear it.

 “Joel, it wasn’t-” Grian tried but Joel cut him off.

 “Oh, it wasn’t my fault? Is that what you were going to say? God, shut the bloody hell up, Grian. Of course it was my fault!” Joel yelled, moving one hand to pull at the hairs on his scalp before throwing both hands in the air and leaning more toward Grian. Not quite getting in his face like before, but close all the same. Joel felt a tinge of satisfaction as Grian backed up a step. “Jimmy almost died because of me! He almost got found by someone who could have taken advantage of him! The only reason he’s here is because of Tango!”

 Joel was breathing really heavy now, his eyes combating against the water trying to spill from them. He gripped at his hair again. “Of course Jimmy would choose Tango over me, of course-”

 “Joel!” Grian shouted, his hands on Joel’s shoulders as he shook him out of his spiral. Joel jolted a bit, looking at Grian with wide, manic eyes. Despite that, Grian held his gaze. “Calm down.” Grian’s words were firm but no less gentle, trying to ease his friend out of his self-hatred and panic.

 “You don’t get it. I can’t keep Jimmy safe! First he gets stuck in that glue trap under my watch and now this. I-I can’t be trusted with him! No wonder he’d rather hang out with Tango than-”

 “Joel, stop!” Grian yelled, his grip tightening on Joel’s shoulders. Joel finally paused at the almost desperate tone Grian’s voice had taken.  

 “But-”

 “Just…stop.” Grian said, cutting Joel off and not letting him speak himself into any more circles. He was still holding on tight to Joel’s shoulders. “Breathe, Joel.”

 After a few shaky breaths, Joel managed to take in a deep one. But as he let it out, his tears, which he had been holding back this whole time, finally started to fall. He grit his teeth as he couldn’t stop them from raining down his cheeks. Grian’s eyes went soft. “Oh Joel…” Grian pulled at his shoulders and suddenly he was in Grian’s space again, but this time with Grian’s arms wrapped around his body. Grian was hugging him.

 Joel hugged him back and buried his face into Grian’s shoulder. Not caring that he was probably making a complete mess of Grian’s shirt. “It wasn’t your fault Joel.”

 Joel hiccuped. “But-”

 “Nope. None of that now. It wasn’t your fault. It was an accident. A mistake. If Jimmy had been in my pocket the same thing could have happened.” Grian said, words firm and sturdy. And Joel suddenly felt too tired to argue with them. So he just sniffed.

 “And Jimmy isn’t choosing you over anybody. Especially not Tango. He’s your friend. Our friend. And no matter who he ends up hanging out with, he’ll always come back home to us.” Grian continued. Joel wasn’t sure how he could say that with such confidence. Even though it had been months at this point, Joel still worried about messing up enough where Jimmy left for good. But here Grian was, confident that Jimmy would always come back.

 It was quiet for a moment as Grian let his words sink in. When Joel didn’t make any move to speak, Grian decided to continue. “Why did you think Jimmy would say no to hanging out with Tango?” Grian asked, bringing back up what Joel had said earlier.

 Joel tensed, feeling his cheeks heat up slightly and pushed Grian away. Not roughly, but enough to let Grian know he was done with the hug. Grian offered no resistance and let Joel go and Joel took another step back for good measure, looking away.

 “I just thought…after everything that happened two days ago I figured Jimmy wouldn’t want to go anywhere for a while. Let alone talk to, and hang out with, a human he barely knows.” Joel let out a sigh, rubbing at his eyes and cheeks to get his tears cleaned up. “But instead he practically jumped at the chance and…I don’t know. It felt bad.”

 Grian hummed, listening intently. “I don’t think I was exactly wrong before. I do think there is a bit of jealousy seeping through everything else you're dealing with.” Grian stated, though this time it wasn’t said in a joking or teasing manner. Joel still didn’t like being called jealous but it was better than before. “You feeling bad is probably a mix of that jealousy and you thinking you don’t deserve Jimmy anymore. His acceptance of Tango’s request to hang out probably, subconsciously, affirmed your fears.”

 Joel sniffed again. “When did you become a bloomin’ psychology major?”

 Grian’s lips twitched up slightly. “Biology and psychology are just two sides of the same coin.” Grian said before letting his small smile ease off again. “Look, it’s not like I also really like the fact that Jimmy’s off hanging with Tango. Especially with what happened two days ago. I want to keep him close and safe as much as you do. But, he’s also his own person, and when it comes down to it I do trust him and Tango to be safe. Jimmy is just…excited to have a new friend.”

 “Right…” Joel said, though he didn’t look entirely convinced.

 Grian sighed. “Okay, obviously you aren’t going to take my world for it. You need to talk to Jimmy about this.”

 Joel tensed up again. “I can’t talk to Jimmy! He’ll…then he’ll know and…” Honestly, Joel’s brain was struggling to come up with a reason to not talk to Jimmy other than he really didn’t want to.

 “You’re not going to feel better until you talk to Jimmy.” Grian said as he patted Joel on the shoulder. “And I will lock you two in the room if you don’t.”

 Joel sighed but gave a little nod. He wasn’t looking forward to the talk but he knew Grian was right. He needed to tell Jimmy how he felt and talk about everything.

 Joel still believed it was his fault, it was hard not to when he looked back on everything he could have done better to prevent it, but he would talk to Jimmy all the same. He watched as Grian took his laptop out of his bag and sat at his desk. Joel hesitated before doing the same. At least he could try and get some homework done to distract him until Jimmy came back home.

 Joel tried to push down the dread he felt in his gut as he started to type away at his laptop.

[arcticmist0324]

There was definitely a huge wave of fannish music, specifically “wizard rock” (called wrock) in the late 2000s and early 2010s. In 2014, there was a MASSIVE shock to the community as many prominent creators were accused of a number of abusive behaviors (towards both other fans and creators). It was a mess. I discuss it a bit more in the tags.

Hank Green (who is someone who was involved in this space and has a reputation for being a stand-up human and not a creep) even made a video in response. It’s still up on the Vlogbrothers YouTube channel. It’s titled “Sexual Abuse, Consent, and Culture.” He doesn’t delve into specifies, but it’s a good sense of the things being discussed at the time. (A lot of the creators who were accused were tied in with the Nerdfighter community).

Oh, and I remember this but I don’t think many other do, but there was also Hunger Games-themed music called Rockingjay. There was overlap with Wizard Rock (which might be a reason it didn’t really go anywhere because… well 2014 happened).

I'm meant to be writing so naturally my brain went into asking the real questions— why don't we have fandom music? We have all forms of expressive art, writing, drawing, editing. The more physical forms of art, sewing outfits, forging swords, acting, even audi narrating fics. So basically all art forms in order to further explore our blobros and yet— no music? Why is it? I am genuinely curious why songwriting and music-making is the one form of art that is not present in the daily fandom life? Yes there's music video edits, even people recreating music from shows on piano etc— but that's not what I mean, I mean honest to god making a real, proper, lyric and music and singing original song for your blobro. Why don't we have that?

[sigweiner]

⌁₊˚ Shiver ˚₊⌁ {P2}

Pairing: Jinx x Fem!/Gnc!/Reader

Word Count: 4.7k

Summary: You seek advice with an acquaintance before 'reconciling' with Jinx on Silco's office desk. Bonus fluff with Isha in the end.

Warnings!: fluff, smut, swearing, angst, t06!c relationship, substance use, mentions of dark ses and physical stuff.

a/n: I'm working on part 3 and 4 bc I had so much fun writing this. Also, I appreciate everyone that interacts with my posts ♡. English is not my first language, sorry for the weird punctuation and sentences. Minors and creeps dni.

{P1}, {P3} on the works

You haven't shown up at the hideout in a week. You've been staying at different places every day since that night as to prevent Jinx from tracking you down, even though you didn't believe she would try to since you were a major jerk to her after what was probably her first time with someone ever. You’ve been punishing yourself for that too even though you weren’t entirely sure you were her first. You’ve been drinking yourself to sleep every night since then. The irony in this whole situation is that that party was supposed to cheer you up and bring you out of gloomsville but it only managed to sink you further into a dark hole.

Maybe you should apologize and try to understand what really happened, but you’re pretty sure she’ll try to blow your head off after psychologically torturing you but at the same time you can’t keep up like this, it’s exhausting. So you think of the only person you know with a semblance of knowledge and that you can go fish for advice. Getting up from the dirty floor you slept on, you throw on your hooded cloak to go meet her and start to move through the shadows of the dirty zaunite streets without being noticed by anybody until you reach an alley where three people are sitting around a wooden crate, drinking, smoking and playing cards.

Sevika has a cigarette in her mouth and grins wickedly at the hand she’s been dealt. You try to figure out a way to alert her of your presence but in no time she’s throwing cards on the table and collecting her winnings for the night. She doesn't linger so you follow her around the maze of streets and alleyways. She keeps looking back, checking if anybody is following her, her instincts probably warning her that someone actually is. She stops to light another cigar and rests her back on a nearby wall so you take the opportunity to come out of the shadows, appearing in front of her.

“Damn, you look like death itself.” She says with a raised eyebrow. “Came to finish the job after all?” But there’s no real concern to her voice.

“Can we um… talk?” You ask, uncertain about how you’re going to bring this about with Sevika, of all people.

“Talk? You sure you’re not confusing me with someone else?” She lets out a dark chuckle and you roll your eyes at her reaction, she wasn’t about to make this easy for you.

“Yeah… have you uh… seen Jinx lately?” You hate how insecure you sound, being this vulnerable is making you want to give up and bolt.

“Jinx huh? Aren’t you two practically glued to each other?” She asks with an amused smirk on her face.

“We had a fight. No, actually I fucked up…” You say looking down at the floor. Sevika lets out a laugh.

“Well that’s not unheard of coming from you.” She teases. You sigh heavily and shake your head but you kind of deserve it. “She’s been looking for you, y’know?” Sevika says seriously now. You look up at her surprised to hear this piece of information.

“Really? Is she still mad? Do you think I should go back to the hideout?” You blurt out, hope growing in your chest.

“Slow down kid. Listen, I'm not gonna tell you what to do. Especially because I don't give a damn about your little lovers quarrel.” She starts explaining her line of thought before taking a break to puff out her cigar. “What I'm going to tell you is this: that crazy girl is obsessed with you and that kid. She's been nagging me about helping her find you this entire week. Which I don't appreciate one bit. So for the sake of my sanity and both of your safety, you should go and take care of this.” She finishes with an annoyed look but you appreciate her words greatly.

“We're not lov-” You star to retort but she gives you a death glare which makes you halt. “Okay fine, I’ll take care of it.” You tell her earnestly.

“Good.” She pushes herself off of the wall and throws the remains of her cigar on the floor. “Now fuck off, Shiv.” That's the first time you ever hear her call you by your alias which brings you a sense of respect. You chuckle, starting to disappear in the shadows.

“Thanks, Sevika.” Your disembodied voice reverberates through the empty alley.

“Tsk, creepy kid.” Is the last thing you hear her say from a distance before you turn around the next corner.

The familiar feeling of fear burns inside your chest when you reach Jinx’s hideout but you find it eerily quiet and still. There's no sign of the blue haired girl but you spot Isha snoozing peacefully on the orange couch. You approach her silently to move some hair off her face and kiss her forehead gently. She stirs a bit but doesn't wake up and you take a moment to just admire her easy slumber.

You're glad at least little Isha is safe and unbothered by this whole ordeal between you and Jinx, although you did cause more instability by leaving unexpectedly. She is the better part between the three of you and not being around her just made everything worse. You wonder if she even missed you because you’ve definitely missed hanging out with her. Before you leave, you cover her little figure with a blanket so she doesn't get cold.

You rack your brain for places where Jinx might be. You check the nearby bathroom and the next door building's roof where you very probably took her virtue, but there was no sign of her. You try not to think of that night, her soft lips, the way she felt around your fingers or your stupid harsh words, but it was all still very vivid in your head.

You wish you could go back in time and do everything differently but there's no point in dwelling on that, you need to find her. So the next place you can think of is Silco’s old office, Jinx had dragged you there before to retrieve something from her secret stash when you were still her prisoner, so you try to remember how to get there.

You move as fast as you can through the shadows but nights at Zaun were very much busy and filled with people, which makes you take longer than necessary just to avoid anyone. You finally manage to reach the abandoned office but you stop outside the door when you hear her speaking softly, then angrily, seemingly trying to process a lot of different emotions.

You take a deep breath before quietly stepping in, careful not to make any noise and alert her to your presence, so you wait for the right opportunity. From where you're standing you can see pow-pow holstered on her hip and that she's wearing different clothes. Striped purple pants and a black crop top, which are certainly new. You wonder what happened to her old clothes.

When you step into the light after she finally gets quiet, she sees your reflection on the big round window in front of her. A bullet misses you by inches, leaving a cut on your cheek that draws some blood. You don't react, shit if she wants to shoot you right through your chest you would let her, that's how much you believe you need punishment for what you did. Jinx lets out an angry grunt and uses her superspeed to come halfway close to you when she suddenly stops to scream at the voices to shut up.

“Where the fuck have you been?!” She screams at you now. “You're MINE Shiv! Don't you fucking get it?! Why did you leave me?!” Her voice cracks in the end and she starts crying, body shaking as she starts to sob uncontrollably. You chance a step towards her but she shoots by your feet making you freeze again.

“I-I know, I fucked up big time, Jinx.” You tell her desperately, tears also running down your face. “Please forgive me. I'll do anything you want. I'll never run again, fuck you can lock me up in a cage again if you want, but please… I'm so sorry.” You beg, reaching a hand forward from where you're standing several feet away from her. She grabs the sides of her head and shakes it, trying to shut down the voices.

“You're sorry? How fucking dare you toy with my feelings like that?! I gave myself to you completely and you treat me like I'm some... animal you can chase away when you're done playing with it… you made me feel so good… called me princess and then treated me like I'm some just street trash…” She rants between sobs and your heart shatters in a million pieces.

“I know, I-I was a total asshole loser. I didn't know you had these feelings… I didn't know you were a… that that might have been your first… everything really. I mean, was it?” You need to know, damn if it’s true you would’ve done everything differently. She huffs angrily and turns away from you, hugging her middle as if trying to close herself from you.

“Does it matter now? You can’t change what happened.” She says with a shaky voice and zaps back to sit on the wooden desk, propping a foot on the swivel chair that once belonged to her father. Her shoulders are still shaking from crying but at least she’s not screaming anymore.

“I guess it doesn’t. But I wish I could’ve done things differently. If I had known about your feelings… I guess I shouldn’t have been so stubborn and ignored my own.” You slowly start to move closer to her when she puts her gun aside.

“Try asking next time.” She says, seeming exhausted. You manage to round the desk and stand in front of her. She glances at you, makeup all smeared underneath her eyes, and looks away. You want to reach out so badly and hold her in your arms, but you don’t want to trigger her any further.

“Okay, then. Do you… like me, Jinx? As more than friends or whatever we have going on, I mean.” You question her honestly. Your face burns furiously though, being this forward feels foreign to you.

“Yes dummy, I’ve been in love with you for a while now.” She finally looks at you and chuckles at your reaction. You’re completely dumbfounded, the look of shock on your face practically comical. What does she mean she’s in love with you? Your brain is trying hard to add two plus two but it takes you a minute.

“You - you’re in love with me?” You ask incredulously. Jinx nods timidly, her cheeks starting to blush a deep pink. “I uh… wow. I really wasn’t expecting that but... if I’m being honest with myself… I think I’ve been in love with you for a while too.” You manage to say before bursting into tears. Jinx reaches out an arm to you and you take her hand. She pulls you towards her, snuggling you between her legs and you practically melt into her, burying your face on her neck as she embraces you.

“Oh my silly Trinket.” She purrs against your hair. She moves a hand to cradle the back of your head while the other rubs circles on your back. You’re both still crying, the weight of all that was said and done falling upon you.

“I should- should be the one comforting you.” You say between sobs. “I’m so sorry, Jinx. I’ll never hurt you ever again.” You promise her, lifting up your head to look her in the eyes. She gives you a teary smile and caresses your cheek, making you lean into her touch.

“You better not.” She says, chuckling. “I don’t think I can survive another one of these.” She gestures between you two. You laugh timidly, wiping under your nose when she leans in to kiss your cheek, the one cut by her bullet. Your eyes flutter from feeling the softness of her lips on your skin and you instinctively rest your hands on her waist.

Jinx wipes your tears and blood gently and pulls you in for a tight hug, snaking her legs around your waist and laying her head on your chest, close to your fluttering heart. You cup the back of her neck to caress it lightly, goosebumps rising to the brush of your fingers. She lets out a heavy sigh and tightens her grip on you. You swear you could stay like this forever, having the heat of her body warm up your soul. And to think you almost gave this up because you couldn't let yourself be vulnerable.

“My chaos princess, I'm so lucky to be yours.” You say against the top of her head. She looks up at you with doey eyes before leaning in to kiss your lips. You sigh into the kiss and cup her face with shaky hands. Gods, how you missed the taste of her so you graze your tongue on her bottom lip seeking entrance and she lets you deepen the kiss.

Your tongues dance languidly against one another very unlike the first time you two kissed, no desperation or urgent desire motivating your actions, just simply wanting to memorize every stroke and every breath and every shiver elicited. You can't help but let out a moan when her hands run up your back, breaking the kiss. She takes the opportunity to kiss a path down your neck, dragging her teeth on the tender skin of your pulse point. You let out a quiet ‘fuck’ when she starts suckling a hickey on the curve between your neck and shoulder. Although you definitely don't mind being marked by her, you pull gently on one of her braids making her move away from your neck so you can kiss her senseless.

Jinx is utterly pliant to your desires and lets you guide her wherever you want, you don't quite remember her ever being this willing to let go of any control except for that fateful night you had her writhing underneath you. In no time your hands start to wander, desperate for a reminder of what her thighs feel like. They're still firm like you remember but only now there was too much clothing covering them. She tries to pull you closer, tightening the grip of her legs around your hips. You smile against her lips before grinding against her crotch, making her let out a delicious moan.

“Getting a little excited aren't we?” You say close to her ear. She whines, seemingly frustrated that you're talking and not kissing her.

“You haven't earned teasing privileges yet, Trinket.” She says with a cute pout on her face. “Now, why don't you make it up to me by making me feel real good, huh?” She says planting that damn attractive smirk on her face.

“Anything for you princess.” You mirror her expression before connecting your lips in a soaring kiss. She hums in approval then lets you explore her mouth with your soft tongue. You take this opportunity to run your hands up her stomach and towards her chest.

“I like these new clothes by the way.” You digress, running your index fingers through her side boobs. “Though I prefer you in way less clothing.” You lick her lips playfully and she chases after your mouth.

“Yeah, I've noticed.” She loops a finger through the hoop on your choker to pull you close to her mouth. “I’ve caught up staring before. Several times.” She whispers and you can't help but feel a little embarrassed by that.

“Fuck, was I that obvious?” You feel your cheeks burn in embarrassment. The blue haired girl kisses your face sweetly.

“Yeah, but lucky for you I was really into it.” She giggles before closing the gap between you. You grind against her again before pulling up her top, exposing her chest to your hungry fingers. She whimpers when you pinch at her pierced nipple and tries to seek more friction on her core with her lower body, making your own arousal pool inside your pants.

You part from her mouth to whisper a suggestion in her ear. “I want to try something, will you let me?” She nods her head positively so you kiss the skin behind her year before looking her in the eyes. “I want to taste you, princess.” You say watching her reaction. Her eyes grow wide and her face turns red but she gives you a quiet okay.

“We don't have to if you don't want to.” You reassure her but she shakes her head furiously before grabbing onto your chest harness with shaky hands.

“No, please I- I want to.” She says timidly but plants a soft kiss on your lips. You hold her face with one hand.

“Okay, but just so you know, we can stop anytime you want, yeah?” You want to make sure she feels comfortable every step of the way. She nods again and it's your turn to kiss her tenderly.

You start to venerate her body by kissing down her neck, leaving a couple of bruises on her throat before showering her chest with attention. You loved on her small perky breasts, licking and biting her hardened nipples until she was a panting mess. Then you move to her stomach and her waist covered with the cloud tattoo you loved so much, not missing the opportunity to leave a few markings next to the line of her pants. You chance a glance up at her and you're met with a sight you wish you never forget. She has a frown between her eyebrows, her cheeks are flushed red and her lips are swollen from your kisses.

You untangle her legs from around you then lower yourself on your knees before hooking your fingers on the hem of her pants. “You okay over there?” You ask with an innocent smile. She lets out a frustrated whine.

“Fuck Y/N, please just take them off already.” She says impatiently. You chuckle but obey anyway, pulling down the offending clothes down her legs, boots going with it in the process.

You kiss her left feet and up her leg before reaching the inside of her thighs. Jinx is already trembling when you spread her legs further, entirely exposing her to you. Your mouth waters at what you find, her wetness already running down her inner thigh, engorged clit pulsating with want and outer lips are puffy from all the blood concentrated on her core. You snake your arms around her thighs and you pull her closer to the edge of the desk. She has a death grip on it, knuckles turning pale already.

“Can you hold my hair up for me, princess?” You ask politely, laying a kiss on her pubic mound. She complies and you feel her grip tighten when you lick a firm path through her pussy.

“Hoooly fuck.” She says, rolling her eyes inside her skull and dropping her head back. You smile at her reaction and continue slowly lapping at her with a firm tongue.

“You're so hot.” You tell her when you take a break to part her folds with two fingers.

“You should see yourself.” She replies, running her thumb through your jaw till it reaches your lips.

You open your mouth to expose your tongue to her, making her slide her finger on it. You smirk before wrapping your lips around it and start sucking and moving your head back and forth to cover the whole length of it with your saliva. She just looks at you, hypnotised. You take her hand, releasing her thumb with a pop, then guide it towards her own chest, smearing your saliva on her pierced nipple. “Shit, I'm gonna lose the rest of my sanity if you keep up like this.” She tells you in awe, pupils completely blown with desire.

“I definitely don't mind.” You chuckle before returning your attention to her dripping center. You massage her clit between your digits before pulling up its hood and wrapping your lips around it to give it gentle sucks. Above you, Jinx lets out an obscene moan that reverberates through your own body, making you moan against her as well.

“Oh fuck, I'm gonna - fuck, fuck, fuck, I can't hold-” She mumbles incoherently, unintentionally pulling on your hair so tight you let out a whimper against her. You let go of her protruding bud before she reaches her peak, making her protest with an impatient whine and she tries to force you back where she needs you by pushing your head forward but you diverge your face towards her inner thigh, biting down at it. She lets out a cry that sounds more like a moan so you soothe the bruise with your tongue.

“Be patient, princess.” You tell her before flicking your tongue lightly on her clit. She squirms and tries to close her legs involuntarily.

“Hah that tickles.” The feather-like sensation making her finicky.

“Humm. Do you prefer it more like this?” You apply more pressure when you lick her this time and you see her eyes flutter at the sensation.

“Yeeah, that's better. Just like that.” She drops her head back once more, mouth agape but still managing to hold your hair away from your face with one hand.

She's a true vision from where you are kneeling between her legs and you realise how close you already feel to your own orgasm just by pleasuring her. So when you tease two fingers on her entrance you decide to slide your free hand inside your pants to take care of yourself. Jinx looks back at you starved when your digits reach the back of her wall and you notice she's fighting hard not to close her eyes so she can watch you satisfy yourself while you fuck her. You finally give her throbbing bud the attention it deserves by sucking hard on it.

It only takes a few pumps of your fingers inside her until she's reaching her orgasm, shaking so hard around your head you need to reach over to steady her. You help her ride her high but you've got no intention to slow down and stop. On the contrary, you fuck her harder and graze your teeth on her clit a few times, teasing it. She gasps and looks at you surprised but doesn't try to stop you. You catch her clit between your lips again when you return your hand to your center.

You want to make you both come together and it so happens when Jinx lets out a long moan and squirts all over your mouth and down your throat. Your eyes roll backwards at your own pleasure coating your hand with your ecstasy. You two moan in unison as you ride your fervor for a little longer before you release her clit and slowly remove your fingers from inside her. She collapses back on the desk, chest heaving, and you also try to steady your breathing.

“You okay over there, Jinxie?” You ask after a minute, worried you might have broken her.

“Better than okay.” She slurs her words, sounding drunk. You chuckle and try to get up but it seems your legs have turned to mush.

“Wanna give me a hand then?” You ask playfully. She sits up and looks down at you with amusement but as she takes in the state you're in, her eyes darken.

“Didn't expect you to be worse off than me.” She says half jokingly and offers you her hand. You reach to take it but before you can she grabs your wrist and starts cleaning your cum off of it. “Hmmm, as sweet as I dreamed you would be.” She says after finishing her handiwork. You feel like a deer caught in headlights.

She manages to lift you up to your feet and pulls you in for a passionate kiss, licking up all of her fluids from your face passionately. Her wandering hands find the swell of your ass and squeezes making you moan her name. You knew where this was going but you didn't know if you were ready yet for it to happen. Jinx starts kissing your jaw and down your throat when you hear someone entering the room suddenly.

“What the hell is going on here?” Sevika says in horror.

After having survived Sevika’s wrath in what you now know is her new office, you and Jinx return to the hideout separately so as not to attract attention to yourselves. When morning comes and Isha wakes up to the sight of you sleeping on a thin mattress next to the couch and Jinx hunched over her workstation, tinkering away at some random project, she lets out a confused sound. The kid sits up and removes the blanket from herself, wiping the sleep off of her eyes before crossing her arms on her chest with an angry look on her face.

As if sensing she is awake, you stir into consciousness and open one eye to chance a peek in her direction but your vision is still blurry from sleep so you lazily throw an arm in Isha’s direction only to feel your hand being swatted away. Oh boy, here we go again. You sigh deeply before sitting up as well and resting your forearm on the couch. Isha gestures to you that she's angry you left and that Jinx was really sad, completely out of control and even burned up her clothes while laughing maniacally at the flames.

“Burned her clothes?” You whisper back. The little kid nods positively and like a tough loving parent, she gestures and demands to know what happened. “I-I know, I screwed up big time. And um… I didn't think I deserved forgiveness, so I left.” You try to explain without getting into what actually happened.

She huffs and looks about as disappointed as you feel for having left her. “I'm sorry Isha. I shouldn't have left you and I couldn't stand being away from both of you so I came back. I'm not sure if Jinx has forgiven me entirely but if you can, that would mean the world to me.” A tear rolls down her cheek so you reach over to wipe it away and this time she doesn't reject you.

On the contrary, Isha lunges forward and throws her little arms around your neck, burying her face in your hair. You cradle her head and make soothing patterns on her back as she cries quietly, wishing you could take all her sadness away. “It's okay baby. I’m never leaving you again. I promise.” You reassure her.

There's suddenly a light weight hugging you both as Jinx decides to join in your little moment of reconciliation, probably having overheard what you said. “Yeah, I won't let it happen.” she says resolutely. You smile because even though the implications behind her words are very dark, your heart can't help but flutter at her pledge.

“I've forgiven you, y’know?” She whispers now into your ear. You turn to look at her with tears in your eyes as she backs away slightly. You want to kiss her so badly but at the same time you don't want Isha to feel weird about whatever you've got going on with Jinx.

However she is the one to take the first step and lean in to kiss your cheek. You don't understand how a simple act of affection can make your heart beat so fast and your face burn so hot when not long ago you were doing much more lewd things to her that elicited this same reaction. She smirks at your flustered expression but looks away when she realises Isha watched the whole scene unfold. The little girl looks between you two and mimics Jinx by planting a quick kiss on your other cheek.

“Hey! I'm not willing to share, kid.” Jinx protests but Isha only giggles and sneakily gives the blue haired girl's face a smooch before snaking her arms around both your necks to pull you into a group hug with a huge smile on her face.

Dividers by @bernardsbendystraws and @cafekitsune.

[itscoucouharry]

Worth The Weight- Carmy Berzatto x Plus size reader

Hey everyone! Ive been re-watching Season 3 of The Bear and felt like I should write more about our Carmy :) enjoy!

The kitchen buzzed with energy—pans clanging, knives tapping against cutting boards, and Carmen’s sharp voice cutting through the noise like a blade. He was in full control, moving between stations with that frantic intensity he always carried, his hands flying as if stopping would somehow break him. You stayed back, leaning against the wall, doing your best not to take up space.

You weren’t sure why you came.

This wasn’t your world. The kitchen was alive, electric, filled with people who knew what they were doing and didn’t give a shit about what anyone thought. And here you were, awkward, self-conscious, tugging at the hem of a sweater you already regretted wearing.

That morning, it had taken everything in you not to cancel. You’d stared at your reflection for too long, cataloging every imperfection, every reason why this was a bad idea. The jeans that felt too tight. The sweater that clung in all the wrong places. The way your mind wouldn’t stop repeating the same cruel, familiar mantra: too big, too much, not enough.

But Carmen had asked you to stop by. And the way he’d said it, low and soft like he actually cared, made it impossible to say no.

Now you were wishing you had.

“Yo, Carm, your girl’s here!”

Richie’s voice rang out like a gunshot, and your stomach twisted as heads turned. A few of the line cooks smirked, nudging each other, and you crossed your arms, wishing you could disappear.

“Shut the fuck up, Richie,” Carmen snapped, barely glancing at him as he wiped his hands on a towel and made his way toward you.

“Hey,” he said, his voice dropping to something softer as he stopped in front of you. His hair was a mess, a stray curl sticking to his forehead, and his apron was already stained. Somehow, he still looked good. “You okay?”

You nodded too quickly, forcing a tight smile. “Yeah. Just thought I’d stop by.”

“I’m glad you did.” He studied your face, his blue eyes narrowing slightly like he could tell something was off. “You sure you’re good?”

You shrugged, looking down. “I don’t know if I should’ve come.”

His brows furrowed. “Why the fuck not?”

“I just…” You hesitated, feeling the weight of his stare. “I feel out of place.”

“Out of place where?” His voice was quieter now, but there was an edge to it.

“Here. Anywhere. I don’t know.” The words tumbled out, your frustration boiling over. “I just feel like I stick out. Like I don’t belong. Like…I’m too much of everything I shouldn’t be.”

Carmen’s jaw clenched, and he took a deep breath, his gaze fixed on you.

“Who the fuck told you that?” he asked, his voice low, steady, dangerous.

You shook your head, shrugging. “No one has to. It’s just how it is, Carm.”

“That’s bullshit.” The words came fast, his tone sharper now. “That’s fucking bullshit, and you know it.”

You blinked, startled by the force of his response.

“You think you don’t belong?” he continued, his voice rising slightly. “In here, with me? You’re out of your goddamn mind.”

“Carm, it’s not that simple—”

“It is that fucking simple,” he snapped, cutting you off. “When I asked you to come, it wasn’t because I needed you to prove anything or fit into some bullshit idea of…whatever the hell you think this is. I asked you because I wanted you here. Because I like having you here. You think you’re too much? Fuck that.”

His words were blunt, harsh even, but there was something raw in his tone that made your chest ache.

“I don’t know how to stop feeling like this,” you admitted, your voice barely audible.

“I’m not asking you to flip a switch,” he said, softening just slightly. “I get it. That shit gets in your head, and it’s fucking loud. But you don’t have to listen to it alone, okay? You don’t have to listen to it at all.”

You swallowed hard, your throat tight. His gaze didn’t waver, and for a moment, you let yourself believe him.

“Okay,” you whispered.

He nodded, his shoulders relaxing. “Good. Now, you want to sit down? I’ll get you a drink. Richie’s probably got some stupid fucking story he’s dying to tell you.”

You let out a quiet laugh despite yourself, the tension easing just a little. “Yeah, okay.”

Carmen’s lips quirked into a small, almost shy smile, and for the first time all day, you felt like maybe—just maybe—you belonged.

[chenlezip]

tell your friends ♡

PAIRING : fratboy!haechan x reader

SUMMARY : you tell your friends you hate him but you can't get enough.

WARNINGS : smoker!reader + smoker!hyuck (my baddd), swearing, not proof read.. idk what else ngl.. >_<

A/N : literally just got this idea because im listening to music while writing and.. chase atlantic came on, heard that line and thought, hell yeah i know what i'm gonna write. also lil smau? idk? im also really craving a sex on the beach now.. *lets out a heavy sigh* beggars can’t be choosers..

might make a part two, who knows? let me know :3 i just wanted to post this and see how it goes .

and… here you are, stood outside a random club waiting for your friends to come meet you. you were clad in a cute jean mini skirt, a bralette with a small cardigan on and knee high boots; obviously paired with cute accessories and having your hair done nicely, what if you saw a cute boy? you had to be prepared.

as you waited, you had a look at all the people who were heading inside, they were dressed just as good. i guess this club is where all the attractive people go, huh? you thought to yourself before you noticed one man who looked oddly very familiar. fuck, it’s haechan.

haechan noticed you out the corner of his eye as he waited outside with a friend, smirking and nudging the boy beside him, eyeing your direction. the boy looked over and noticed you, he looked stunned almost, immediately turning back around to haechan and whispering. you wondered what they were talking about but before you could go over, you heard karina screaming your name.

“y/n! oh my god!” she smiled as she ran toward you, engulfing you into a tight hug. it’s been a while since you’ve all seen each other so it was nice to finally get to hang with your girls again. “i’ve missed you guys so much, ugh.. you all look so good!”

“as do you!! i can’t wait to get fucked up tonight, i’ve already pre booked a taxi so do nottt worry~ i’ve got us covered, it’ll be coming 2am so we should leave early just to make sure we get it alright,” giselle explained to you all as you nodded in return, “i can give you some money toward it when i’m not wasted - just let me know, okay?” you smile as she shook her head.

“no need y/n, it’s my treat, come on!” giselle dragged you and the girls inside, sitting in a booth and scouring through the drinks menu. “i don’t know what to get.. everything sounds good,” ningning mumbled as she looked at the rest of you, “anyone know what they’re getting?”

“i’m just gonna get a sex on the beach - always my go to,” you spoke up as you waited for the others to be done deciding. once you all were, you ordered and had them delivered to the table, thanking the waiter who brought them over.

──── ୨୧ ────

you excuse yourself from the girls for a moment, wanting some fresh air and to light up a cigarette. you were dying for one and the alcohol in your system wasn’t helping your case either. as soon as you stepped out the club, you felt the night air hitting you and you let out a soft sigh. the wind made you feel a little bit more sober. you spark up a cig and place it between your lips, inhaling and breathing in the smoke. oh, how you missed this.

“got a spare?” you recognise that voice from anywhere. you gaze up and see haechan standing just opposite you, a lazy grin on his face as he stared you up and down. you just give him the one you were just smoking and spark up another. “thanks.” he says as he leans against the wall beside you.

“no problem,” you respond coldly as you look away, trying to find anything other than him to look at but you can’t help your eyes from wandering back.. he looked good tonight. his floppy brown hair was slicked back nearly, his golden skin glistening under the street light that was outside the club, a leather jacket and his white shirt adorning his body. you swore to yourself the last time you saw haechan that you still hated him.. but he knows otherwise and deep inside, so do you.

“still claiming you hate me then?” he eyed you, turning to lean on his shoulder now. you cough, “what?” you didn’t expect him to ask you that out of the blue. “you tell your friends you hate me but i know you can’t get enough, y/n, you’re not very secretive with it, huh?” he blew smoke out into the air. you focused on the way his lips parted a little, his jaw.. his adam’s apple.

you shake your head, “you’re seeing things lee donghyuck, maybe you should see someone for these delusions?” he just laughed in your face and threw his (your) cigarette to the ground, “yeah.. maybe i should, huh? but i won’t if you come crawling back again tonight,” he says before stepping on it to put it out properly and walking back inside the club. you go on your phone after he’s left and quickly type something on twitter, posting it to your private account.

you decide to head back inside and you just can’t seem to get your mind off of him, your eyes wandering around the club to find him. you see he’s got a pretty girl slung around him, she’s pressing her body up against him. never mind, you definitely hate him, why were you even starting to like a frat boy anyway? hello?

[aishangotome]

Azel Radwan: Dramatic Ending Ch. 24 Premium Story

Dramatic Ending Ch. 24

Thank you @passthechloroform for providing the video for this chapter!

♡———♡

Before the end, the people who believed in God were in mourning.

Still, no one tried to stop Azel.

Perhaps, unbeknownst to everyone, a new era for the Land of Divination and Bewitchment had arrived.

-

Azel: Could you stop making such a gloomy face?

Emma: …I’ll try my best.

Once the people were out of sight, Azel slipped into a nearby guest room.

I followed without thinking, but I didn’t know his purpose.

(But, this is good timing.)

Whether it was because I was influenced by the people, or because I had learned that the end was tomorrow, as soon as I relaxed, my vision blurred, and I couldn’t even speak properly.

(I decided to spend time without regrets…)

Emma: I couldn’t help you with anything after all, could I?

Forcibly suppressing the overflowing sadness, I raised my voice brightly.

Emma: What did you want help with, Prince Azel?

Azel: Ah…

Azel: …That’s right, you said everything you wanted to the old man on my behalf.

Azel: Thanks to you, I didn’t have to waste any effort. That’s what you were for.

Emma: Haha… Isn’t that a bit far-fetched?

Azel: No, it’s a fact. Please don’t misunderstand.

(Does he realize he’s digging himself deeper the more he talks?)

My heart ached as I looked at Azel, who had turned away.

Azel: More importantly, aren’t you being sought by Akatsuki?

Azel: Your father doesn’t know where we went.

Azel: If he handed Enis over to the doctor, he might be wandering around the castle by now, unable to bear it any longer.

Emma: That’s true. I need to get back soon, but…

Emma: …I thought we were going to have a secret conversation in the guest room.

Azel: There’s no such thing. I just wanted to go somewhere quiet.

Emma: …

Azel: However…

Azel sat down on a long chair by the window and looked up at the full moon.

Azel: If you have something you want to talk about, I wouldn’t mind listening.

(…This God is…)

Emma: You’re becoming more and more generous, aren’t you?

Emma: You said earlier that you would only answer one question…

Azel: …Ah, no need for mercy.

Emma: Please wait, I want it, I’m happy!

(I’m sure I’m not the only one saddened by the farewell.)

(Tomorrow hasn’t come yet…)

I gathered the cold night air and cooled my heated body.

Emma: Prince Azel…

Emma: …Are you really going to disappear?

Azel: Yes. The “death of the eternal God” is exactly what it means.

Azel: I, as God, will die. And it will be a grand spectacle in front of the masses.

Emma: That’s… tomorrow?

Azel: Tomorrow. There’s no change in plans.

Emma: But…

*flashback*

Silvio: I hear that the Living God is reincarnated and descends to Tanzanite at regular intervals.

Silvio: In other words, there are times when the Living God isn’t around.

Silvio: Azel happens to be here now, but when he’s not, the people worship an idol god.

Silvio: Even if the Living God dies, “God” doesn’t die.

*flashback over*

Emma: Even if Prince Azel is gone, the idol god will remain.

Azel: Of course, with that old man leading the way, God won’t disappear from everyone’s hearts.

Azel: God will remain as an idea. But the important thing is which side becomes the majority.

Azel: Whether they continue to depend on God, or break away from God. If the will of more than half changes, the country will change.

Azel: Besides, did you think I wouldn’t consider what you’re worried about?

Azel: I’ve already taken measures. It’s impossible for God to be defeated by mere mortals.

(…This is no good. I just said I would support you, and yet here I am thinking of ways to stop you.)

Perhaps my heart hasn’t caught up with what I understand in my head.

When I lowered my eyes, a sigh dissolved into the silence.

Azel: …I didn’t want to be bombarded with questions from you because you would react this way.

Emma: I’m sorry.

Emma: But… Prince Azel, you’re being cruel too.

Azel: What do you mean?

Emma: You’ve had this plan all along… ever since you met me, right?

Azel: Of course.

Emma: …And yet, weren’t all those suggestive actions cowardly?

Azel: What are you talking about? When did I ever act suggestively towards you?

Emma: You don’t remember?

Azel: No, not at all.

Emma: Even though you were so clingy to me.

Azel: Huh? Please stop fabricating facts.

(At first, I thought it was because of God’s detachment from the world.)

(But, ever since you chased after me to the party you were supposed to hate, the contradictions in your words and actions became obvious…)

(Even now, you were trying to keep me away at first, and yet you’re holding me back like this.)

Azel continued to gaze intently at the moon, but he couldn’t hide the redness of his ears.

Emma: …Prince Azel, you’re a sinful God.

(Even I, who knows nothing of love, can tell.)

(Azel doesn’t react like this to just anyone…)

Azel: Look who’s talking.

Emma: What do you mean?

Azel: You too…

Azel: …No, never mind.

Emma: Now I’m curious.

Azel: Don’t worry about it. I was just delirious.

Silence dominated the room, to the point where we could hear each other’s breathing.

(This suddenly became awkward.)

(I should have had so many things I wanted to say and ask…)

(My heartbeat is so loud, I can’t put my words together properly.)

Azel: …

Emma: …

Azel: …Don’t you…

Azel: Don’t you need to pray to God one last time?

Emma: I’m not a believer, you know?

Azel: I'm a merciful God, even to non-believers.

Emma: That’s news to me.

Azel: …Shut up. You wished for my wish to come true earlier, didn’t you?

Azel: In exchange for that piety, I thought I’d at least listen to your wish too.

(My wish…)

Azel: Well, I’ll listen, but I won’t grant it.

Emma: …

(If I could wish for anything right now, there’s only one thing that comes to mind.)

(But it would be cowardly to say it out loud.)

(Even if God tempted me with sweet words, I shouldn’t say it.)

I pressed my lips together to prevent it from accidentally slipping out.

Perhaps sensing something from my behavior, God stood up and looked down at me.

As I tried to step back when he approached, he grabbed my hand.

Azel: I told you before. Don’t try to endure it with a creepy smile.

Azel: Say it.

Emma: …I have no wish.

Azel: That wouldn’t be fair, would it?

Emma: That’s not something a swindler God who forced a debt on me should say.

Azel: You…

A hand touched my cheek, and I braced myself for it to be pinched.

But the usual pain didn’t come; it was just gently placed there.

Azel: I’ll have you know, I already know your wish.

Azel: And yet, I’m still listening.

Emma: Even though it’s something that can’t be helped by saying it…?

Azel: Yes. That’s why I said “listen” first, right?

(...)

(..........)

I placed my hand over the warm palm that cupped my cheek and squeezed it tightly.

Emma: …I don’t… want you to die.

(I’m… contradicting myself too.)

(After all, I’m saying the same thing as the apostle in the end.)

The moment I said it, regret began to eat away at me.

But Azel didn’t brush my hand away.

Azel: Why?

Emma: Why?

Azel: I understand your wish, but I don’t understand why you’re so desperate to stop it.

Azel: Unlike that old man, whether God exists or not won’t affect your daily life.

Azel: Of course, a kind person like you would be saddened by someone’s death.

Azel: But even that is just a fleeting moment when measured on the scale of life.

Azel: It’s a pain that will fade quickly with the passage of time.

Azel: To put it bluntly, my death is “irrelevant” to you.

Azel: Don’t trouble yourself over a God you only spent a short time with, it’s foolish.

(––That’s what you were leading me to say.)

(Just as I wished for what was best for Azel…)

(Azel thought this was best for me.)

Accepting God’s mercy, I tilted my head, nestling it against Azel's hand.

Thinking about the pain of the moment this hand would become cold, I didn’t feel like I could go back to my normal life.

Emma: Prince Azel… what would you do if I said I was going to die tomorrow?

Azel: …………It wouldn’t matter to me if you died.

Contrary to his words, Azel's expression grew stern, as if to say he was displeased.

Emma: That’s the kind of emotion I’m feeling right now.

Azel: Sigh… I told you not to fall in love with me.

Azel: .....

Azel: ………… Ah.

Azel: No, that’s wrong.

(…I didn’t mean to corner you like that.)

Seeing Azel so obviously flustered made me laugh, forgetting the situation.

(You don’t have to try to hide it now, it was obvious.)

Emma: Are you in love, Prince Azel?

Azel: Don’t get cocky.

Emma: Ow… Ow ow!

He pinched my cheeks tightly, stretching my face.

Azel: Don’t nitpick, I just misspoke.

Emma: …I’m in love, you know.

Azel: …

Emma: I feel like I’ve been scammed.

(I thought I would never fall for a wicked God who put me in debt, no matter what.)

(…But once I realized you were just a compassionate person who couldn’t be honest, I suddenly lost my composure.)

(Besides, with the wicked and greedy Azel, I didn’t have to hold back…)

(I enjoyed the time we spent together so much.)

The parts of him that I respect, and his clumsy kindness in everyday life, piled up to build my current feelings.

It may still be shallow, like a small sprout just beginning to grow, but I’m certain that this is what I’ve been yearning for all along.

(I can’t pretend it never happened now.)

Emma: I think I’ll resent and curse you forever, so be prepared for that.

Azel: …Cursing someone who’s going to die is pointless.

Emma: I mean “I won’t forget.”

Azel: ...........

Emma: I feel relieved now that I’ve said what I wanted to say. Thank you, Prince Azel.

(I feel like crying, but…)

(…No, it might be too late already.)

Tears spilled down my cheeks, even though I was smiling, and wet Azel's hand.

At this distance, there was no way to hide it, and I could only lower my eyes.

(I don’t… have to hold back, do I?)

(The root of all evil is the God in front of me, after all.)

Once I gave in, I couldn’t stop, and sobs gradually welled up.

I didn’t want him to see my tear-streaked face, so I tried to shake his hand off, but against my will, he lifted my chin and made me look up.

Emma: Prince Azel, at least a little of my–

My parted lips were sealed.

My eyes widened at the soft sensation I had never known before.

As I stared back in surprise, he pecked my lips again briefly.

Emma: It’s impossible to say I’m not in love after this.

Azel: Shut up.

Azel: …It’s your fault for provoking me.

Emma: I only cried because of the wicked God.

Azel: That’s what provoking means.

Emma: What kind of common sense– Mm!

As if to say he wouldn’t acknowledge any objections, he stole my breath away again.

Once he had broken through, God didn’t stop kissing me.

Not only my lips, but each tear that spilled from my eyes was met with a loving kiss.

(I really… might end up resenting you forever.)

Azel: It’s all your fault.

Azel: …It’s your fault I became a fool.

Emma: Then it’s Prince Azel's fault that I fell so in love with you.

Emma: It’s cowardly of you to die without taking responsibility.

Azel: Cowardly, you say? Fine. I am a wicked God, after all.

Emma: A perverse, wicked God.

Azel: To think you would add to your debt with insults at the very end.

Emma: The compensation Prince Azel has to pay me is much higher, you know?

Our foreheads touched, our eyes locked, and our lips met again, though neither of us had planned it.

Azel: ………… Damn it.

(…I wanted to fall in love. I wished to love someone.)

(To think it would be like this…)

???: No matter how rational a person is, once they are driven mad by love, they can no longer live without it.

???: Just like a child.

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Dramatic Ending Ch. 25

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