#i suppose the tldr is

[sunshinechay]

Sorry not sorry you NEED to info dump me on prapapski I need to be convinced to watch this show. Im on the edge of getting into it, but im feeling lazy LOL. Push me into the void! Im ready!! Im immune to spoilers, just lay it on me XD

Well, you asked for it. Haha XD Putting it under a cut because this is long! sorry not sorry

First of all, PrapaiSky has, in my opinion, god tier relationship development. Prapai starts off as a total fuckboy, who is creepy to say the least, who becomes just the best boyfriend one could ask for to his Sky. I’ve described Sky before as a traumatized little bumblebee and I think it holds up. He can be prickly, standoffish and even downright mean, but he is also funny, fierce and an extremely loyal friend. He actually goes through the trouble and trauma of calling his ex to find out where the illegal street race is supposed to be taking place because Rain wanted to break in so he could fuck some shit up for Phayu. Sky, underneath it all, just wants someone who will love and cherish him. He has so much fear and anxiety and even depression linked to his romantic past. The way he acts is helpful in deterring most people, but Pai is not most people. XD

They start as a one night stand, that only happens because Prapai makes a bad (semi) joke/proposition after Sky chases Rain into the illegal race track. Sky needs to be able to leave without security taking him away and, it is implied, doing him physical harm/possibly killing him. Pai says he can get Sky out of the race but Sky has to do something for him. Implying but never outrightly stating that what he wants is sex, to which Sky agrees because he doesn’t want security to get him. This in itself does boarder on sexual cocertion, which is a big ass yikes, though it is clear through context clues that while Sky might not be happy to be put in this position, he definitely enjoys the sex, though he does not have a high opinion of Pai afterward. Which honestly, would anyone? I know I wouldn’t haha. Of course we realize later than even if Sky had said no to Pai, Pai would have gotten him out anyway because Pai is a lot of things but he is not that kind of asshole.

Ngl, Prapai is pretty creepy towards the beginning of his persuit of Sky. Like the first episode or so of their story (ep8 for the series as a whole), I want to smack Pai across the head and tell Sky to run very far away. But that does not last long and as soon as Sky realizes that Pai is just your home grown, organic, garden variety fuckboy rather than the actual scum of the earth that his ex is, he is more open to at least spending time with him, since Pai is so persistent in his persuit.

You see Sky is a domestic violence and sexual assault survivor, a fact he has told literally no one since it happened. Not Rain, not any of his friends, not even his dad. It’s often why he acts the way he does. He is very afraid to let anyone, including his friends, get to close to him emotionally. Prapai blatantly doesn’t listen to any of this, and keeps pursuing Sky because he genuinely wants to know Sky and wants to be with him. He is so tight lipped about it that he hasn’t even told Rain his ex is a guy. He doesn’t tell Pai about his past until the last episode, after Sky’s ex attempts to sexual assault him.

It’s around the time that Sky gets sick that you really start to see the kind of couple they will become. Sky gets sick due to his trauma. Sky begins to have nightmares around this time, which starts to cause panic attacks as well as insomnia. It is in part because of Pai insisting he be allowed to woo Sky. Pai still does not know about Sky’s trauma and thus thinks that Sky is just a tough nut to crack but if he keeps going he can do it. His smile is just so adorable that you mostly forgive him for his crimes, though I did side eye him a lot during these first few episodes.

One of the things I love about this part though is that, if you pay attention to what Sky is thinking about the whole situation, it ultimately isn’t even really about Pai, more the idea of history repeating itself. Sky’s self esteem and self worth, understandably, takes a pretty big nose dive in the wake of what happened to him and the things that Sky says to himself point to him not believing that someone like Pai could actually have feels for him, that there is no way Pai is serious about all of this. He just wants to have fun and get some sex out of the deal. Which is a big problem for Sky, because he, a) already knows exactly how good at sex Pai is and (I think anyway) would definitely be down for a repeat performance and b) is actually starting to really like Pai. He likes that Pai had an easy going guy who, on the surface at least (not just on the surface Sky), just wants to get to know Sky and have fun with him. He likes that Pai doesn’t react when Sky is mean to him, just teases Sky about it. He likes that Pai tries to bring him meals because he knows Sky is a college student in a really competitive faculty. He is terrified that he will get in too deep and fall in love again only to have the rug ripped out from under him and be left more broken and more damaged and more unloveable than he already believes he is.

Sky ends up fainting in class, which freaks the hell out of his friends, which are another friend group that I love, though they do not have enough development in my opinion. The problem is, because they are all in the same faculty, they have a lot of responsibilities in terms of school work and getting everything they need done. Sky can be excused because of his illness but the rest of them can’t. Rain ends up calling Pai to come and take care of Sky because someone needs to stay with him and Sky’s father doesn’t live close enough to Bangkok to come and Rain has too much school work that he won’t be able to finish if he tries leaving to get it and coming back. To Rain, Pai seems like the more logical option, since Prapai isn’t in school and thus doesn’t have those responsibilities. As well, Sky knows Pai and Rain thinks (only somewhat incorrectly) that they are close enough that Pai is an ideal choice to be Sky’s caretaker.

Pai gladly agrees and proceeds to take the best care of Sky he knows how to provide. Dude literally googles how to take care of sick people at home and even calls his mother because he doesn’t want to fuck anything up. The sick montage is so fucking adorable. As Sky starts to get better and better, the two spend more and more time together. Like Pai actually calls the president/CEO of his company (aka his dad because of course haha) about needing time off and ends up doing a whole bunch of work at Sky’s dorm so he doesn’t fall behind but also doesn’t want to leave Sky. The man dotes on Sky like Sky is the more perfect being in the universe (as he should!). Sky, for his part, starts to realize that Pai isn’t like his ex. That Pai is much better than his ex. He’s still not sure how much he’s willing to believe but oh boy is Sky falling even harder than he was before. It is definitely a “Prapai fell first but Sky fell harder” situation going on. It’s the best! At one point, Sky wakes up in the middle of the night to see that Pai has fallen asleep next to him on the bed, laptop open, papers everywhere, because Sky was holding his hand (because nightmares) and he didn’t want to go anywhere. Sky goes to touch Pai and ends up accidentally waking him up. Pai realizes the way he fell asleep and goes to clean up his work papers, only for Sky (who was pretending to still be asleep) to grab his arm and pretend to be having another nightmare so Pai wouldn’t leave. Don’t try and tell me my boy isn’t already completely gone over Pai, because you would be wrong! Boy wants to be close to Pai, but at this point, doesn’t have the words or courage to ask for the kind of physical and emotional closeness that he craves. With Pai caring for him though, he is slowly starting to find the words/build up the courage.

The funny thing is that Pai basically ends up a squatter in Sky’s dorm. He ends up there all of the time. To hang out with Sky, to eat with Sky, even just to sleep (which Sky makes him do on the floor haha). At one point, he manages to get Sky to agree to go out on a date with him and they still end up back at Sky’s dorm after. This also leads to one of the best of their romantic scenes. Prapai tries to draw wind on a piece of paper, and later Sky’s hand, but can’t because he was a business major, not an art student. He doesn’t know anything about art (Prapai’s brother, even makes a comment to him about how Pai would skip art class when he was in high school). Sky ends up also drawing an image of wind on Pai’s hand and Pai literally traces an image of it and gets his brother to make him a lapel pin of it. Boy is so fucking corny that when Sky sees it for the first time, Pai tells him it’s so everyone will know who Pai belongs too. Corny, but effective I suppose because while playfully embarrassed, it is VERY clear how much Sky loves the idea. Boy even shows up at Sky’s school during the end ceremony for the freshmen week, just because he heard from Phayu that it was going to go on all night and he was worried about Sky getting sick again because he is still recovering (which to be fair, literally all of Sky’s friends are worried about the same thing).

Even the rare time he ends up actually going home, Pai still ends up at Sky’s dorm. Granted it was because he thought something bad was happening to Sky…well he wasn’t wrong, just not the kind of bad that Pai was expecting. Sky got an extra assignment that day that was due the next day and that he will definitely not finish in time if he doesn’t have help…so he calls Pai, who races over because he thinks Sky’s hurt or dying and yeah no, he’s neither of those things. It’s also the first time we see him get angry with Sky and even then, boy manages to keep an absolute lid on the whole thing. It’s easy to tell he’s angry, but he keeps calm and explains to Sky that Sky needs to explain better when he panicking and he calls Pai. You know, cause Pai is very glad that Sky would think to call him and will definitely come no matter what, but god damnit don’t scare him like that next time Sky! Haha. Healthy communication! That’s the way to do it. And of course because your boy is a simp, he still helps Sky’s complete his assignment and even drives him to school the next day.

According to Pai, the whole thing is worth it because Sky kisses him. It’s a really cute scene where Sky asks what he can do to make up for making Pai panic and Pai jokes that as punishment, Sky should kiss him. He very clearly does not expect Sky to do anything of the sort, which leads to an adorably shocked expression when Sky actually does kiss him, pictured below. Boy even manages to score some more points when Sky tells that a single kiss, especially from Sky, sounds like a shitty rewards for helping him. Pai tells him that different people put different value on stuff and Sky is priceless to him. 👍👍 You go Pai, you win over your boy with corny lines and earnestness.

All of this happens around episode 10, which along with episode 11 are two of my favourite episodes of the series. These two episodes are, for the most part, the two of them existing in their little love bubble, getting to know each other and learning how they fit together. We get to see them develop their communication skills with each other a lot more, though it definitely isn’t perfect. In episode 11, Sky makes his last ditch effort to drive Pai away…by making him clean the bathroom in Sky’s dorm XD. Despite not really knowing how to clean a bathroom, Pai does it anyway, and then, on Sky’s orders, tidies up Sky’s entire dorm room. Pai wants to prove that he committed to Sky. But honestly who wouldn’t be, Sky is fucking amazing. Pai is committed to showing Sky that he’s in for the long haul, that he isn’t going anywhere any time soon, no matter how much Sky tries to push him away. He wants to be around Sky for as long as Sky is willing to let him be. It’s to the point where he almost refuses Sky when Sky finally says he’s giving in and is willing to have sex with Pai.

Sky literally gets on top of him and takes off his shirt and ya boy Pai is still trying to explain that he doesn’t want just sex from Sky. He wants Sky’s everything. He gives in though and the two of them have sex (read make love) because of course they do. Pai might be a lot of things, but he is not going to turn down sex with Sky, ever, for any reason. If his Sky wants sexy times, sexy times they shall have. This is also the nc scene where my icon comes from. It’s my favourite shot in this entire show. Fort and Peat act their asses off and you can really feel about much they love each other even if Sky is not ready to admit that he loves Pai just yet…and all they do is stare into each other’s eyes. I’m an deceased, bury me now, I am so gone for them it’s insane. I have no rational mind left. Leave me in this second, to stare at them as they looking into each other’s eyes. So much love unspoken but both know it’s there, even if they aren’t ready to fully talk about it. (I am in a glass case of emotion!!)

Episode 12 is…a wild ride. There are happy times, blow jobs if you watch the extended box set version of the episode but there is also the final test of their relationship which is literally Pai’s fuckboy past coming back to haunt him and Sky trying desperately to detect himself from Pai as a result. It all in the end leads to the endgame of the episode, which is Sky (after breaking up with Pai earlier in the episode) going back to his dorm for the first time in days, to find Pai has somehow got in (my money is on Joy, the dorm manager and grade a gossip who has been enabling Pai since day one, though Pai says he ‘found a key’ 😒), waiting for him. Turns out, yeah he found Sky’s journal and ends up reading out loud.

It’s a scene that I love because it completely lays bare what Sky has been thinking the entire time. How much he loves Pai, even though he doesn’t have the courage to say it out loud. I also hate it because it is completely heart breaking as Sky spends so much of it desperate for Pai to stop reading it out loud because he doesn’t want to be reminded of what he was thinking when he dared to be happy with Pai. Poor boy believes himself to be so unloveable that he genuinely questions if there is even a way for him to get Pai to only pay attention to him, to not get bored of him, to only love him. Like he could almost believe Pai was before he saw Pai seemingly cuddling close to someone on a couch at a party they had gone too. It was definitely a bone head move on Pai’s part, to allow his old hook up to get that close to him, but he also spends the entire scene attempting to gently disengage the other boy from himself so he can get back to Sky. Pai might have a master’s degree but he is also dumb as hell sometimes and is often nice to a fault and doesn’t want to be rude to the other boy. But remember, Sky is very traumatized little bumblebee who jumps to conclusions because his trauma takes over…trauma Pai still doesn’t even know he has!!! (Seriously, at this point the only thing Pai knows is that Sky dated someone in high school, that that boy is responsible for the nipple piercing that Sky no longer has in and that the relationship between Sky and his ex ended badly…that’s it!) (Side note, Pai is just obsessed with Sky’s nipples. This never goes away, not that Sky seems to have much of a problem with it beyond token protests lol).

This is also their “I love you” scene. After he finished reading the journal, Pai tells Sky that he loves him, after faking him out by saying he doesn’t like him anymore. (Seriously what is it with Pai and Phayu. Both used this tactic when telling Sky and Rain that they liked him. Rain almost cries, Sky actually cries.) Despite it all, I can’t get too mad at Pai for this. Again, Pai is many things, but his patients is not infinite and a little petty revenge when he’s still angry enough to say it, well I get that. After he confesses, he asks Sky how Sky feels about him, to which Sky, still kind of sobbing, though in relief at this point I think, admits he is also in love with Pai. Such a happy scene but even then, it still does break my heart a little as Sky also begs Pai not to leave him. Pai answers that he never will, and we as the audience definitely knows that’s true but it is still sad to hear Sky say it. Pai is a simp, there is no other word for him. Boy exists only to love Sky at this point…well he also works for his dad’s company and loves motorcycle racing but really that’s all secondary to just how much he wants to shower love and affection on Sky.

The two talk it out. Love to see them engaging in that healthy honest communication (takes notes Kim!). Sky might not be over his trauma, but even if Pai doesn’t know about it to reassure him and help him tackle it head on, Sky knows that he’ll be able to get through it as long as he has Pai and as long as he knows Pai is committed to him and loves him. Pai is never not going to be committed to you Sky, you have nothing to worry about.

We even get a shining example in episode 13 when after having another nightmare, Sky calls Pai and asks if he can come over. Pai literally drops everything (he was racing that night and if I recall correctly, doesn’t do a race because of Sky’s call. Not a big deal, but it definitely shocks Phayu) and races over (hehe). This show actually has one of the only real aftercare scenes I can remember seeing in a bl, as Pai help Sky to clean up after they have sex. Score another point for Pai over the asshole ex, as the ex never did this for Sky ever and always made him do it himself.

Look at the smile on those boys faces! They are so blissfully in love, it’s rotting my teeth as we speak! Of course this means that something else has to come in a fuck shit up and boy does the asshole ex ever fuck shit up. The first time Sky wants to go an watch Pai race, he runs into the asshole ex (who’s name is technically Gun, but I’m sticking with asshole ex). We get lots of flashbacks about their relationship and we get the full picture and turns out that not only is the ex an asshole, he also could be considered a groomer…As he was a fully grown ass man when they met, while Sky was 15-16. I think the asshole ex is about the same age as Pai and Phayu. The ages in this whole show are funny but if we assume that Pai is about 24-25 in present, than the asshole ex can’t be older than that, but is likely around the same age…which means he was at least 21-22 to Sky’s 15-16 when they ‘dated’. (The ages in this show really are fucky. We know Rain is 19 at the beginning of the series, but we never find out if Sky is older or younger than Rain. I’m inclined to say older but who the hell knows but they were likely born the same year. That puts Sky at 19, but also time has pasted since the start of the series, and they’re in their second year of uni now but no birthdays have been mentioned so ahhhhh! This is also one of those times we can’t use the actors ages as Fort, despite playing the older Pai was 21 when they filmed this series while Peat, playing Sky, was 25).

Long story short, the asshole ex all but kidnaps Sky. He comes up with an extremely convoluted plan to get Sky away from Pai, by tricking Rain into believe Pai is asking him via security guard, to take Sky back to his condo as Sky was saying he wasn’t feeling well (which after seeing the asshole ex, I would have said the same thing). Rain goes back to the race and Pai, being the absolutely amazing attentive boyfriend he is, realizes that someone lied to Rain in an effort to get Sky alone and together with Phayu and Rain, races to condo to save Sky.

There is a heavy trigger warning for abuse/IPV and sexual assault in this episode. While what happens in episode 8 is mild and could be considered either way depending on how you interpret Pai’s intentions and Sky’s reaction/actions, there is no such confusion with this episode. The ex gets Sky alone with the express purpose of fucking with him and assaulting him because he really is just that horrible of a person. Despite saying he “threw Sky away because he was bored of him” he still wants to continue to ruin Sky’s life because Sky finally felt safe enough to begin the long process of moving on. There isn’t any actual assault, the weather boys manage to get there before anything happens and stop him. With Pai almost beating the asshole ex to death. The only reason he doesn’t it because Phayu begs him not too. (You should have just done it Pai, the fucker deserves it.) There is however a flashback where we see the beginning of when the asshole ex’s friends (yes plural) assault Sky while asshole ex watched. It is difficult to watch, so proceed with caution.

Sky has gone kind of catatonic and Pai is the one who manages to get him to respond. He also takes Sky home, like to his family home, not to Sky’s dorm, where Sky is finally able to be honest with Pai about what happened to him. It’s a heart break but also heart warming scene. Listening to Sky explain in his own words what happened is heart breaking (like I cried the first time I watched this scene), but Pai’s response is heartwarming. Sky spends a lot of time insult himself and I absolutely love that Pai never tries to tell him he’s wrong. Like Pai knows Sky is wrong about the way he sees himself. He knows Sky isn’t broken or trash or any other awful thing he might call himself, but Pai also knows that just saying “no Sky you’re wrong, you are not those things” isn’t going to help in that moment. Sky will not respond well to being told that. So instead he is quiet and he listens. Really listens and affirms that he is there for Sky, that he isn’t going anywhere, that Pai loves him and Sky can love Pai. That Pai is the only one who gets to have Sky while they are together. (Another trauma by the asshole ex is that the ex tells Sky, right before he’s about to be sexually assaulted, is that he is bored of Sky and so he is letting his friends have his now broken toy…I really hate this man so much. Side note though, the actor who plays the asshole ex does such a good job. I really want to see him in more things, though hopefully not in a villainous role this time haha).

It’s a really amazing scene and once again Fort and Peat (especially Peat) brings their absolute a game. You really feel for Sky. Like I always wanted Sky to have nice things the whole time, for him to be able to move on, but after that scene. It increases tenfold, especially when you realize that while Sky’s life is not magically going to get better, he is not going to just wake up tomorrow and not be traumatized, he is going to be able to move forward. He finally has the support, space and feeling of safety he needs to truly be able to move on, not just for Pai or his father or his friends, but for himself. He wants to get better for himself and Pai is committed to making sure he is there every step of the way. Pai is committed to making sure that Sky knows that “the wind will always protect the sky” (not sure if that’s the direct quote from the show, but I’m pretty sure it’s pretty close).

(Actually footage of me approximately 30 seconds into episode 8.)

I really honestly love both couples in this series, but something about PrapaiSky has me in a chokehold. The growth the two of them have, not just personal growth but the growth of their relationship. They go from being this couple where one doesn’t know if he actually even wants to have sex with the other/wants to have him around/feeling like he needs to push him away to protect himself and the other is pushy and only barely respects the others boundary to a couple that understands each other and are there for each other. They figure out how to communicate with each other in a healthy way. They learn about each other, to respect each other. They confide in each other. While PhayuRain seems to be aware of some details of Sky’s past in the special episode, I definitely get the feeling that Sky never really tells them the whole truth about what happened to him. They know the broad strokes but nothing in detail while means that for better or worse, the only person Sky ever tells everything too is Pai. I know that Sky will have the courage one day to tell his father, and probably Rain as well, but that day hasn’t happened yet.

Prapai actually does a pre-proposal to Sky in the special episode. Telling him that he wants to marry Sky one day, really marry him. Pai really hopes that same sex marriage will be legalized in Thailand soon because he wants to be married to Sky in the eyes of the law too. Partly to get married but also partly to make sure he can continue to take care of Sky in the future, the way any legally married couple can. Pai also tells Sky that he is completely willing to wait until Sky is ready. Whether it’s after Sky graduates from school, or after he gets his first job or builds his first house, he doesn’t know, but when Sky is ready, he’s going to proposal for real. The thing that endears me to it even more, is that Sky even asks what will happen if he’s never ready. Pai just tells him that that’s okay because he’s going to take care of Sky forever.

Pai makes it clear from day one that he wants to be with Sky. By his own admission, it was mostly about sex at first. Sky was that one night stand that he couldn’t forget, but Pai realizes very quickly that he doesn’t just want sex from Sky. He wants anything and everything that Sky is willing to give him. It might take Sky a little while longer to really admit that he feels the same, but he does get there.

Pai is, in my opinion, in a lot of ways, the perfect match for Sky. He is pushy, but Sky needs someone who is pushy sometimes, to force him to confront things he knows he needs too, but would rather ignore. He needs someone who reminds him to take care of himself, to make sure he eats when he’s working and sleeps when he’s tired, even if he is in a time crunch for an assignment. Sky needs someone who will occasionally worship the ground he walks on, to remind him that the things he tells himself in the darkest parts of his mind aren’t true. That he has people who love him. That Pai loves him unconditionally and will not hesitate to show him.

Sky conversely is also perfect for Pai. Pai needs someone who is willing to call him out, who is doesn’t put up with his bullshit but can also be equally as playful and daring as he is. (I’m looking at you board room sex from the special episode and the implication that Sky planned and prepped for the whole thing.) Pai needs someone who forces him to mature a lot, to develop the kind of good communication skills you need if you want a working relationship. Pai needs someone to worship. He needs someone who will take charge occasionally, someone who knows who Pai is and knows how to interact with him better than he knows himself.

I am so not normal about PrapaiSky haha. They are just so good and while they may not be everyone’s cup of tea (and that’s okay) they definitely are mine. Both Fort and Peat do such a good job with these characters and are able to make me believe in these two in a way I don’t think other actors could. I’m going to be rewatching Love In The Air for a long time, and obsessing over PrapaiSky for equally as well haha, and I’m definitely okay with that

[wandaverse]

playing with fire.

— buff firefighter!wanda x college student!reader

— summary: the 5 times you meet and the 1 time wanda lights a different kind of fire

— tags: pure fluff, major horniness, implied smut

— word count: 1,252 words

1. the first time you meet is late at night when there’s a fire in your dorm.

someone down the hall sets fire to their microwave trying to heat up a burrito. deeply asleep with fatigue from the week’s intense assessments, you don’t hear the screeching alarms.

without hesitation, a chilvarous wanda arrives at the scene and kicks down your door, carrying you out bridal style. wanda’s not complaining, not with the way you sleepily nuzzle into the safety of her neck.

through your sleepy haze you wonder who the buff woman carrying you out the building is, she smells like smoked cedar with faint hints of sea salt. you decide that you like this scent and the warmth that accompanies it.

2. you next meet at a sorority party gone wrong.

your friends get the stupid idea of trying fire breathing. the only thing you end up breathing though is clouds of smoke when your sorority house almost burns down. wanda arrives in the nick of time in her blaring red truck and douses the flames.

something else ignites within you though when you meet her properly for the first time, awake and certainly alert. you take in the sight of her breathless figure after rushing to fight the flames. so this is who saved you that night in your dorm… oh.

wanda is not particularly amused at you and your friends’ irresponsible antics. you shrink under the weight of her disapproving gaze, but also can’t help but cheekily grin. wanda can’t stay upset, she has to admit you look cute with ash all over your face.

3. your paths cross again when you notice a kitten stuck in a tree while studying on your campus’ lawn.

after many futile rescue attempts, you call emergency services and once again your knight in shining armour (or rather, reflective PPE) arrives. she gallantly climbs her ladder and saves the kitten. you don’t deny enjoying the view of her sunkissed skin when she takes off her jacket to swaddle the kitten.

afterwards, wanting to prolong the encounter, wanda asks if you want to ride with her in her fire truck to drop the kitten off at the nearest vet. you excitedly accept her offer and enjoy the trip around the city. wanda secretly steals fond glances at you, looking adorable with the kitten in your lap.

4. the next time you meet is not in the face of life threatening danger, but rather danger to your self-composure.

on a regular trip to the supermarket, you pass the row of calendars and your eyes land on a familiar face on the annual westview firefighters calendar sold for charity. you can’t ignore the curiosity that compels you to take a sneaky peak at its contents.

your cheeks instantly burn red when you turn to february’s page and find your favourite firefighter scantily clad and leaving little to the imagination. standing in a shallow pool of water with flames raging around her, wanda poses with an axe slung across her shoulders, wearing only a black training bra and her firefighter pants. her buff arms and unsurprisingly toned abs are on show as she stares directly at you the camera. you fight the urge to bite your lip at her flexed muscles, her sunkissed skin, the shine of her sweat mixing with ash. you’ve never felt so taken before, you forget your bearings for a second.

that is, until you hear a familiar voice call out your name.

your ears register her presence before your eyes and you quickly shut the calendar, throwing it back on the shelf as if its touch has burned you. you ready to make an excuse until you finally look up and find the firefighter just as scantily clad as, if not more than, her outfit in the calendar’s photoshoot.

wanda approaches you, seemingly in her post-workout fit and you have to stop yourself from drooling at the sight of her sweaty and taut arms and abs, only this time in real life. god, the photo doesn’t even do her justice. wanda calls out your name again with a husky laugh and your blush profusely, realising you’ve been caught ogling her not once but twice.

5. you meet once again when you move out to an apartment near campus and decide to cook dinner for yourself.

you quickly realise that you actually have no idea how to cook when your entire kitchen ends up in flames. wanda arrives just in time and puts out the grease fire. for a second, you can’t help but question fate. it’s as if there’s only one firefighter in all of westview with the way wanda always finds her way back to you. you’re not complaining though.

she turns to you and scolds you for your carelessness, but not before checking that you’re okay and not hurt by the wild fire. your heart secretly skips a beat at the continued display of care. ever the prince charming, isn’t she?

before she leaves for the next emergency, though, she asks you out for dinner instead. unsurprisingly, you say yes.

+1. the evening of your first date arrives.

you’re lounging on the couch in your apartment watching a sitcom when you hear a knock on your window. wanda has climbed up the fire escape and asks to be let in like a lost kitten. you lift open the window with a laugh and she tells you that she’s set up a picnic under the stars on the rooftop. she escorts you back out the window and up the fire escape. you giggle adoringly at her antics.

the evening goes well as you two happily find that the spark between you wasn’t imagined and isn’t going to fizzle out anytime soon. conversation flows naturally and you enjoy the food wanda has cooked for you. she jokes that at least one of you can cook, which earns her a playful slap. but when you reach over to do so, you accidentally knock over a candle and almost burn the entire picnic blanket. the fire is quickly avoided though thanks to wanda’s quick reflexes. she gives you a humuored tsk, but you secretly revel in her display of protection.

the evening comes to an end as the city around you calms down and the stars settle in for the night. wanda escorts you down the fire escape once again and the butterflies in your stomach continue to take flight. when you reach your window, you turn to wanda and thank her for the evening, for thinking of such a lovely idea and packing such a delightful picnic. when you place a goodbye kiss on her lips though and she takes you in her arms, you quickly realise that that’s not the only thing she’s packed.

wanda pulls back and blushes sheepishly at your realisation, but it’s enough to set you off. all night you’ve been teased with the sight of her shirt lifting and showing the slightest glimpse of her abs, the tight fit of her t-shirt’s sleeve around her arms, the simple yet alluringly attractive way she runs her fingers through her hair. she’s been teasing you all night and you decide that you’ve had enough. you quickly engulf her in kisses and pull her boldly through your window.

your night rages on and as the flaming sun begins to rise, wanda pleasantly learns that there’s one particular fire that she just can’t put out.

the end.

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Killua and the Power of Wishes

Okay going to try and make this coherent because the amount of wish association all through Killua's character development makes me want to chew plaster.

As a fair warning, this analysis ended up being long as hell, and I didn't even include everything I could've said. This is also just one lens to analyze Killua's story arc with, and I feel there are other valid interpretations of some of these moments. This is just one of mine, so keep that in mind please.

One last warning that this analysis does discuss emotional manipulation and abuse, as is par for Killua's background.

Let's set the stage with one important piece of info: Killua's birthday.

Killua's birthday is July 7th, the same day as Tanabata. Tanabata is a folklore-rich festival where according to legend, the two lovers, weaver Orihime and cowherd Hikoboshi, represented by the two stars, Vega and Altair, are allowed to reunite once a year after separation. A popular custom of Tanabata is to make wishes by writing them down on tanzaku, then hang it on a bamboo tree so that the wish might one day come true.

Tanabata is also known as the Star Festival. Please keep this in mind, because I'm going to come back to it.

To finish setting up the lens for this analysis, I'm going to need to dig into the game-changer scene for Killua's early characterization - his confrontation with Illumi at the end of the Hunter Exam, and specifically, the exact nature of Illumi's manipulation of him.

I say "game-changer" because it really is - up until this point, it's kind of fair to not fully know what to think about Killua. Certainly, he seems excited to hang out with Gon (he approached him first, after all) and he's friendly enough, but he's also arrogant and claims to be motivated mainly by boredom. For all intents and purposes, Killua seems set up to be Gon's dangerous yet charismatic rival... but then this scene happens and it completely turns it all on its head.

Because Killua may have mentioned his family was controlling before, but he seriously downplayed the severity of it - likely because he has no point of reference for how awful his situation actually is other than it makes him feel bad and trapped. Illumi's appearance immediately shifts our understanding of Killua from runaway murder kid with annoying murder family to straight-up victim of emotional abuse, and dissolves his cockiness instantly to terror.

What does all this have to do with wishes? Glad you asked. Let's look at some of Illumi's dialogue.

[ID: A screenshot from HxH episode 20 of the 2011 anime. Killua looks up, sweating and conflicted, as Illumi tells him "You don't want anything or wish for anything." End ID.]

This is the crux of Illumi's (and the family's) control. Killua's desires do not align with the family trade. They must be excised from him.

When Killua insists that he does have something that he really wants, Illumi says "Tell me what it is you want", in a mockery of a certain other sibling who would have helped fulfill this wish - Illumi asks only so he can completely dismantle it. And Killua isn't even really surprised at Illumi's words, just heartbroken. You can tell this isn't the first time this sort of thing has happened.

Killua states his wish quite fervently; he really means it. But his words are not rebellious, nor cathartic. Instead, he answers Illumi quietly, as if fearful or ashamed, almost reminiscent of a sinner's confession.

[ID: Two screenshots from HxH episode 20 of the 2011 anime. In the first Killua looks down with a troubled expression, saying "I want to become friends with Gon...". In the second, his face is hidden as he stands with hands clenched at his sides with a spotlight on him. He says "I'm sick of killing people..." End ID.]

It's such an innocent, simple want.

And Illumi proceeds to make him feel like even something so simple is harmful and selfish of him... not to the family, but to Gon.

In a matter of a few minutes, Illumi breaks down Killua's wish by:

Acknowledging this desire, but twisting it into something that will inevitably fade over time, thereby causing Killua to doubt his own conviction and feelings -> "Gon is a novelty, a radiant presence who has piqued your curiosity. No more than that."

Acknowledging that Gon is someone important to Killua, and undermining this by telling him that by his very nature, he will eventually bring harm to Gon, which makes him feel as though Killua cannot trust himself to be a good friend -> "If you try to be friends with him, you will one day want to kill him... because you are, by nature, a murderer." (As a... delightful... bonus, this is also apparently how Silva and Illumi justify their treatment of Killua to him - "This is the essence of your existence and we taught you accordingly." Like they adapted to Killua's nature, instead of them molding Killua into who they wanted him to be.)

Delivering an ultimatum - to fight Illumi and win, or else Gon will die - that Killua is doomed to fail due to his upbringing and the needle in his head. Since Killua doesn't know about the needle, he assumes this is his own personal failure, something Illumi feeds into -> "You're just not qualified to make friends."

And it's the last point that breaks him. The first two shoot down Killua's present wish, but the last proceeds to shatter any hope he might've had of wishing for anything similar in the future - he has told him that his desires are weak, temporary, inherently dangerous to those around him, and worst of all, aren't enough on their own for him to deserve friendship and love from others. And the clincher: Killua feels like all of this is his own fault, that there is something inherently dangerous and wrong with him!

So, it doesn't even matter to Killua anymore if he fails the Hunter Exam. To him, he just failed the only test that mattered.

10/10 manipulation, Illumi. Fuck you, seriously.

Killua's character arc is mainly his quest and struggle to refute Illumi's arguments and to shake off the manipulation and the ways in which his family have molded and controlled him. And by far, the most difficult part of his conditioning to shake off is this idea that he is undeserving of anything more than what he is already given.

It's almost like the family has drilled it into him that wishes are dangerous. How interesting.

Thankfully, however, there are two parties to Killua's wish here - Gon, too, is a part of it, and it is not simply his reciprocated desire to be Killua's friend that saves him, but also his recognition of Killua's situation for what it is (notably, when no one else correctly identified the true issue).

"You know it wasn't his choice. You manipulated him, kidnapping his spirit!"

The ensuing Zoldyck family arc emphasizes that Gon is 100% correct: the main hold Killua's family has on him isn't physical - it's all emotional.

Killua breaks one of his shackles when Milluki threatens to have his new friends killed, but he only breaks the rest when Zeno tells him he's free to go. So, if Killua could break loose at any point, was this still a rescue like Gon said?

Well, yes - just because he absolutely could've broken out physically at any time, that does not mean he could just leave. That's the nature of situations such as this - it's not as simple as "just leaving". Support is necessary, as is actually having something tangible outside the situation to go to - otherwise there is little point to leaving at all. Gon (and Kurapika and Leorio) showing up to free Killua showed him that his wish was reciprocated and allowed him to break one cuff - this is the start of his journey, but he still has a long ways to go. Notably, he again hesitates and closes off when Silva asks what he wants.

[ID: Three panels from HxH chapter 42. In the first, Silva asks Killua "...would you like to see [Gon]?" Killua's expression is complicated in the next panel - he's closed off and uncertain. Silva continues "Be honest, Kil... what do you want?" End ID.]

Killua will backtalk and casually break his shackles and death glare his family... but he's too fearful to voice his wants aloud.

And once again, asked by his father what he wants, he is subtly set up to fail. His wish is granted, but made conditional - "Do not betray your friends", something Killua is regrettably set up to do by virtue of the needle in his head that he, again, doesn't know about. Silva fully expects him to fail and come back home, disillusioned, believing it's his own fault due to his "nature", and trusting in Silva still as a "reasonable" figure in his life.

This condition placed on his friendship is what drives much of Killua's fear and insecurity with regards to Gon for much of the series - the idea that Killua has to earn his right to friendship, and that if he doesn't, he will lose it, one way or another.

It really makes me wish that Killua had actually gotten to hear Gon's views on friendship from the beginning of the Zoldyck Family arc, because it entirely refutes this entire philosophy. He even outright refuses to go through the Testing Gates at first, purely because he thinks the sentiment of needing to prove yourself just to be friends is completely outrageous - he only relents because there is no other way.

[ID: Two screenshots from episodes 21 and 22 of the 2011 HxH anime adaptation. Gon looks up at Illumi and firmly states "[Killua] doesn't need to earn the right to be my friend!" In the second, Gon's face is seen in profile and close up as he asks "Why would you test your friends?" End ID.]

I doubt it would've truly prevented Killua's insecurity from manifesting even if he had heard this, to be honest - his issues with usefulness are very deep-rooted in his upbringing - but still, it would've been nice for him to hear, I think.

However, that's not to say that this exact sentiment doesn't come through in their interactions.

Gon, as Killua's friend, cares about what Killua actually wants and wants to make sure Killua knows that - and that's part of what makes the Whale Island conversation between them really important.

[ID: Two images, both of the same scene from HxH chapter 64, and episode 37 of the 2011 anime. In the manga panel, Gon has turned his head to look at Killua directly, who looks shocked and taken aback, to say "I like hanging out with you." In the anime screenshot, Gon has turned his whole body to face Killua, and says "I think it's fun to be with you." End ID.]

I see a lot of people chalk this up to just Gon being Gon, but it reads to me as much more deliberate than even his usual honesty. He's turned so he's looking directly at Killua, which is a sure way to make his words come across clearly. The lead up to this is Killua, again, not knowing or being able to vocalize what he wants. He doesn't have a goal to work towards like Gon, he only knows what he doesn't want - he's a mix of envious and admiring towards Gon, who knows what he wants and simply goes for it.

But this conversation makes it clear that they have a shared wish - they both want to be friends, and they'd both like to stay together. It's not about earning, to Gon, it's only about if they both want the same thing - mutual, not conditional. There's a nice almost call-and-response type dialogue here, where Gon asserts that he likes spending time with Killua (very directly lol), then shares that Killua is the first friend his age he's had. This prompts Killua to say that Gon is his first friend ever, and that he does have fun with him. And just like that, Gon replies "Then let's stay together!" and pointedly includes Killua's desire to find a goal in their, now shared, upcoming journey.

Overhead, a shooting star appears in the sky. A mutual wish is granted.

[ID: A panel from HxH chapter 64. The night sky is full of stars. In the centre is a shooting star. End ID.]

Hm. Stars. Remember how I told you to keep that in mind, all the way back at the beginning? Their association with Tanabata, making a wish on a shooting star, etc. etc.?

Well, buckle up because this star is going to make you experience so much sadness now.

[ID: Panels from HxH chapter 286. The first is a conversation between Killua and Meleoron where Killua asserts he intends to "go down in flames with [Gon]". When Meleoron looks concerned, Killua brushes off the declaration as a joke. In the second image, Killua is turned away, his outline pale, as Meleoron thinks "Why... did you looks so sad... back there?" The last image is a cloudy night sky filled with stars. At the centre of the panel is a shooting star. End ID.]

Yeah, it makes its reappearance directly after Killua has "jokingly" resolved to die with Gon if it comes down to it, after "since it means nothing to you".

I am assured, in Japanese, the word choice here is 心中 (shinjuu), the word for double suicide, where the intent is to die at the same time in the same manner in order to be reunited in the afterlife. The implication here is that Killua, having increasingly grown insecure in his place by Gon's side but unable to voice this, knowing that Gon is hurtling down the path of no return, thinks back to their conversation under the stars where they both mutually wished to stay together and, because he believes that it is no longer possible for him to help Gon, has resolved to stay by his side in death, and after it.

...holy shit, kid.

[ID: Two screenshots from the 4th ending of the 2011 anime. In the first, Gon and Killua stand back to back as meteors fall around them. In the second, they stand facing away from the audience towards a body of water under a night sky filled with stars - Gon throws a stone, which flashes in the air like a shooting star. End ID.]

And of course, here's the shooting star again in the 2011 anime's Nagareboshi Kirari ending, as well as it being the subject of the song itself and rather explicitly referencing that wish to go on a journey together, to stay together, because... Madhouse hates us. I guess. :'(

What started off as a simple wish for a friend deepened into a wish to always stay by Gon's side. This is largely good at first! Killua is able to explore and experience genuine friendship, to get a taste for freedom, and use the power of his fervent wish to protect his dear friend in order to rid himself of Illumi's needle. However, the more Killua wants, the more he traps these wishes in monologues within his own head and does not voice them aloud. Part of it is that he already feels he's been given much more than he deserves - seeing himself as a creature of darkness and Gon as light - but a greater part of the issue here is not that Killua is afraid to wish for things, but that he is afraid wishing without "compensation" will inevitably lead to horrible repercussions - namely, losing who he loves.

In order to feel worthy of staying with Gon, of earning his friendship, Killua works hard to help Gon achieve his goals, taking on the role of wish grantor, growing to do practically anything needed to support him for seemingly nothing in return - but that's not 100% true. Killua wants at least some appreciation, whether he admits it or not - it's a security thing, and it also clearly makes him happy, even if he's not great at accepting it. He insists in Chimera Ant arc that friends don't need to thank friends, but this declaration always read as very sudden to me or like a rationalization, and it's relevant to remember that this is at the peak of Gon isolating himself and self-destructing before his eyes, and Killua's own insecurity regarding his importance to him.

Killua might not mind doing things without thanks, but that doesn't mean he doesn't like to hear that Gon appreciates him. He clearly does appreciate verbal confirmation of their bond! We know this.

[ID: Two screenshots from the 2011 anime. The first is from episode 61. Killua smiles down at the ground with his hands in his pockets, the colours having gone soft and bright. The second is from episode 70 during the dodgeball match. Gon smiles determinedly in the foreground as Killua looks shocked next to him. End ID.]

Keeping all this in mind, Killua's story, or at least this part of it, couldn't have concluded in a better way than his rescue of Alluka, the wish grantor.

Now, I could probably write an entire other analysis on Alluka and Nanika alone, but for the sake of not making this any longer than I already have, I'm going to go through only a few points. Alluka is incomprehensible to her family because they make no attempt to understand her, with the exception of Killua. The only thing they do seem to understand, when explained to them, is the demands made after Nanika grants a wish - this, of course, fits neatly into their own predetermined views on "earning" and "punishment". However, beyond this, they make no attempt to understand her, and since her power is deemed dangerous and uncontrollable, she is locked away.

They are worried, first and foremost, that Alluka will bring harm to the family, and there's two ways in which this could be true:

As a function of failing to fulfill her requests, of course

Because she, just by existing, threatens the family's status quo

I stated at the beginning that Killua's desires do not align with those of the family business, and he's always apparently been more open to understanding others - he asks Alluka and Nanika questions to understand them, and treats them with respect, while his family are more so focused on subjugating anything that might be a threat. This is what Illumi tried to drill into Killua after all; never fight a superior opponent - everything is about assessments of relative strength, which leaves no room for open-mindedness or getting to know people.

Faced with a daughter who is clearly incomprehensibly powerful, and a son, the would-be inheritor of the family trade, who is showing a disturbing amount of willingness to befriend instead of retreat from her, the family made the decision to excise Alluka not just from where she could "harm" the family power-wise, but also likely to secure their control over Killua, who they then set about practically programming to not have any more wishes for himself, or at least to not be able to vocalize them without fear of loss or retribution.

The family's nickname for Killua is "Kil" or "Killu", which is deeply fascinating to me as a reader - nicknames are expressions of endearment, typically, and I actually don't doubt that here. Killua's family does love him, but their love comes with conditions. He must be molded into the perfect son, and every part of him that doesn't fit must be excised.

So: Killua's memories of Alluka are suppressed with the needle, and she is further cut from his life by dropping the "a" from his name (the Zoldyck children are named like a game of shiratori - Illumi -> Milluki -> Killua -> Alluka -> Kalluto). The nickname is also like a command or order "to kill", which is of course what they want him to do.

Saving Gon through saving Alluka and Nanika forces Killua to have to face down the last and hardest of Illumi's manipulations to shake, and that's the notion that a wish, that kindness and friendship and love, cannot be unconditional without severe repercussions - where the people he cares about get hurt because of him, something he cannot envision being forgiven for.

It's a little sad to me that after spending most of the series struggling against his family's teachings that they didn't lead to Killua betraying Gon at all, as he'd feared... but to him betraying Nanika, by sending her away.

Here is this little girl with a bloodstained past, incredibly powerful and dangerous and capable of amazing feats, treated as some evil thing by those who fear her. But she is kind at heart. Her true strength lies in healing, not killing. And she only takes commands from Killua.

Illumi thinks this is because Killua is the only one with control over her. Killua believes this is because she wants praise. They're both partially correct, but this is not the full reason Nanika does what Killua asks of her.

[ID: Two screenshots from episode 146 of the 2011 anime. In the first, Nanika smiles and says "I love Killua." In the second, Killua looks at her, stricken. End ID.]

Nanika loves him. Everyone has been trying to figure out all these complicated rules and conditions on her wish granting and why Killua is the one exception, but the answer is exceedingly simple. She loves him, and wants to do nice things for him so he can have his wishes granted. It's the only way she knows to get the love that she wants in turn.

Just like her brother, Nanika makes herself useful to earn love and appreciation from someone who accepted her when no one else did.

Even though he knows Nanika just wants to help, he still sees her presence as a danger to the person he sees as pure and innocent who must be protected. He sends her away because her "nature" is to be a threat to Alluka's safety, even if she doesn't intend to be. Killua's fear of Illumi and repercussions causes him to make a horrible mistake.

And Alluka tears into him for it.

[ID: A set of panels from HxH chapter 336. A furious Alluka glares and asks Killua if he made Nanika cry. When Killua stutters, she demands he apologize to her. End ID.]

You tell him, girl.

Oh hey, this looks a little familiar, huh?

"Apologize to Killua!" says Gon to Illumi after Illumi sends Killua away.

Nanika should not be the one punished for the actions of those trying to control her. She certainly shouldn't be forced to leave those she loves, or have to earn love from them.

And neither should Killua.

[ID: Three panels from HxH chapter 336. Alluka yells, tears in her eyes, "If you're going to protect me... you have to protect Nanika too!!" Killua looks shocked, then his eyes widen. End ID.]

It's interesting to me that this is the line that snaps Killua out of his fear enough for him to properly speak with Nanika and apologize. One party cannot receive all the protection, nor can the other only give and give limitlessly.

Killua makes it clear to Nanika when speaking with her that he will protect her, and that she doesn't need to earn affection from people by granting their wishes. He promises they will both be there for each other - Killua will praise her whenever she wants, and not just when she does something for him, but he also doesn't refuse Nanika's desire to grant his wishes. It's mutual, not conditional.

And on the heels of this "betrayal", Killua asks for what he never thought he could receive - forgiveness. And even though Nanika is clearly still very upset...

[ID: Two screenshots from episode 146. In the first, Nanika and Killua face each other, both of them teary. Nanika says "Kay." In the second, he has pulled her into a hug. Nanika is teary, her fingers gripping Killua's back tightly. End ID.]

...she doesn't even have to think about it.

I do think Killua still has a ways to go, but he is in a position right now to learn from his relationship with his sisters about balance - that love is not just selfless devotion, but also allowing those who love you to help you and make you happy too. I think that's what unconditional love is, in a way - supporting and working together with the people you love to make each other's wishes come true.

[twstgo]

misc ramshackle kids doodleeees

(second pic in reference to the twitter trend)

[popponn]

how one looks. [isagi yoichi x f!reader]

notes: this was born out of love and rage for his anime official arts' clothes because why is my man dressed like t h a t way too many times already... so i will bully him a bit (then feel bad about it. and it shows). other than that: fluff, yoichi got so sappy and so smitten for a hot sec, yoichi's fashion sense slander (and lets be honest. it deserves it. yoichi's plus point, many. negative point, his closet.)

“You know,” you began and Yoichi instantly felt like he was about to get a ball kicked to his face. “I had been thinking. Why do you look like an unfashionable grandpa sometimes?”

“…huh?” Yoichi responded, not really knowing how to answer to that. What should a guy do when their girlfriend of three years plus a half, who is also probably the love of their life, insinuate something about their appearance? Neither Blue Lock nor his parents prepared him for this.

With your eyes squinting at him, you leaned towards him from your seat in the armchair. One hand perched on the armrest and supported your chin as your face scrunched up from your thoughts. “I mean, I do think you are cute and handsome. Charming too,” you said.

Yoichi tried not to melt. Years passed and he is still weak whenever you praise him out of blue like this. From his parents to his teammates to Noel Noa knew about this—so, in attempt to be normal, Yoichi tried to kept everything under a soft smile directed to you only, “Gosh. You know, you are—”

“Hey, this is about you not me. Shush, shush,” you scolded him lightly with a finger pressed to his lips. This time, Yoichi could only blinked absentmindedly as you continued in a serious manner, “But, you see, if I look at you properly without bias—I wonder why I could think like that.”

It was at this point Yoichi realized you were trying to call him not cute, not handsome, and not charming in a very roundabout way. Again, confused on how to react to things like this, he said, “…uh?”

You were not Rin, Barou, Kaiser or anyone he shared competitive trash talking with hell and back—and even calling him ‘ugly’ really was tame to the shits spitted out straight at his face. You were never like this and Yoichi knows since the four years ‘unclear situationship’ period that his appearance really does not matter to you who would look at him gently even with his face dressed in odd drawings courtesy of Bachira’s oil markers. With that being said, he really didn’t understand what was going on.

“Your hair is honestly generic. Like, I really get why Rin said he called you NPC back then,” you explained and Yoichi tried not to wince. “Oh, but don’t change it! If it changes, especially without me knowing beforehand, I probably won’t recognize you. Though what’s a bit unique about them are probably only your sprout and bangs…kind of?”

In silence and in attempt to be a good boyfriend, Yoichi could only nod.

“And then, your fashion sense…” you continued, pity coloring your face, “…actually, where do I start on that one? I think that one part of you is so hopeless it kind of turn around to cute… in a really naive and stupid way though.”

For a moment, Yoichi remembered how he used to think in Blue Lock some people could be very harsh in commenting. Turns out, listening to your girlfriend obliterating you appearance wise is a whole another level of ego bruising experience. “Now, come on, you know I’m not good at those mix matching thing…” he admitted with pain in his voice. Because at this point what could he do?

“Of course I know,” you said as if he was saying that sky is blue. “I mean, remember how I used to tease you about ‘all point in soccer and social skill, zero in others’?” Yoichi doubted that it was all ‘teasing’. At this moment, it felt like lighthearted bullying. “I’m not exactly a hundred percent kidding, you know.”

At least he saw this one coming.

“Ugh, what brought this on suddenly, seriously?” Yoichi asked with a groan. Did he do something? He didn’t forget an anniversary or something, right?

You hummed, before answering hesitantly, “Hmm…nothing much actually?”

“So you just said all that for no reason?!” he cried out, not actually buying you answer. At that, you stayed silent for a moment.

“…actually, it’s because I saw a photo of you online, not the most recent, I think,” you finally admitted, your eyes slowly drifting away from his face. “…your clothes was so ugly there I felt like burning your closet suddenly.”

“Please don’t,” Yoichi said quickly, before prompting you to continue. “And?”

“…it’s a waste,” you continued. “You are handsome, cute. Your eyes look good when you are focused. You are like a really handsome cat who is really good at soccer. But you dress like an unfashionable grandpa who really loves neon green sometimes, so it’s a waste.”

Listening to your explanation, both fondness and exasperation overcame Yoichi in a wave that felt like a pleasant breeze compared to whatever you just dished out to him seconds ago. “Don’t burn my closet though,” Yoichi said, utterly serious and yet somehow still couldn’t find it in himself to be even be a little stern on you after such honest praises.

Suddenly feeling a bit shy and tired, Yoichi buried his face in his hands. He knew for sure his face was red. And he knew how obviously weak he is for you. From the back of his mind, he could hear some familiar voices poking at him for being like this, but in the end there will always be a part of him that is so in love with you it becomes straight up stupid.

Maybe it indeed is so dumb and selfish, because as long as you are happy and it is a time shared with him, Yoichi probably wouldn’t really mind having to listen to you calling him an ‘unfashionable grandpa’ everyday.

He, more than anyone, understands how the two of you has dreams and life that took the two of you away from each other. And even then, Yoichi knows that that one part of him—one that always gaze at your sleeping figure silently, wondering how he could have this and why someone as wonderful as you is here by his side—is rightfully fearful of a ‘bad ending’. Yoichi knows you love him. Yoichi knows he loves you. Yoichi got called selfish, egoistic, self centered, and self serving many times already in matches, and that is exactly why—he knows himself.

If it’s for you—for every part of life you had given to him, for every part of you that he had fallen in love with—he is ready to be as selfless as he could.

Happily and gladly.

“Hey, you have been silent for a while now.” A pair of hands warped itself around him, meekly, as your head rested on his back. “…sorry. Was I too much? I made you overthink, didn’t I? You know I still love you, right? Even if you suddenly wake up as a wrinkly grandpa with creaking knees tomorrow.”

Yoichi laughed at that, still covering part of his face. “I don’t want to retire yet so that better not happen,” he replied lightly, going along with you.

“…you are not crying, right?” you asked, guilt written all over your tone. Yoichi tried and failed to held back a chuckle. So, accepting his fate as a lovesick asshole, he turned and pushed you to the sofa, laying his face down on your stomach as he settled in an uncomfortable position to hug you.

Yet, without paying any mind to his lower body that remained sitting whilst upper body rested on you, Yoichi said, “I’m not. How could I with you hugging me like this?”

“…really?”

“Really.”

“…should we really stay like this any longer though…?” you asked, eventually. “I’m worried for your hips.”

“I’m fine,” Yoichi said while nuzzling his face slowly to your clothes. “Just think of this as payback for bullying me.”

You scoffed lightly at that, “And you said you were fine.”

“Yeah, I am,” Yoichi said as he felt your fingers combed through his hair. So much for commenting his hairstyle. He made a note to tease you later, but for a bit longer—

“Just, let me stay here, okay?”

[deimosatellite]

its so wild seeing transphobes try and make up reasons why vivian ttyd isnt trans theyre like ''nintendo is obviously making a joke about crossdressing or w/e" when like. if you play the game you meet vivian in the middle of an out of body experience and shes the kindest and sweetest person ever and as you see her sisters be rude as hell to her youre SUPPOSED to go hey thats not okay?? like its so obvious that her sisters are in the wrong on how they treat her like. none of yall have played the gd game huh 9Y8UPSDFJ

[flythesail]

Thinking on what Qimir said in ep.6 to Osha and how very wrong it is:

"You would've had the same relationship with [Jecki] that you have with your Master. One-sided. Why do you love people who can only go so far? Who can't go as deep as you can."

Because we now know how much Master Sol cares for Osha. A LOT, to the extent of bad things happening.

Qimir is attempting to manipulate her. But, Osha is smart! Even knowing Sol is hiding *something* from her, it's easy to disprove what he's saying.

So, a question is... Where exactly is Qimir getting this idea? Likely based on personal experience. It's how *he* feels as much as it is how he wants Osha to feel.

And paired with his dark side seducing, as much as he wants a pupil, he's looking to devote himself to someone too. Possibly to his downfall.

[hostilemuppet]

Granted I never finished my little pony or even got to cozy glow at all but I see people complain about how she "didnt deserve her fate" bc she was "literally a child" and I feel like its missing how the target audience are also children. Like a 9 year old isnt gonna see cozy glow as "a small baby child who was never given room to redeem herself, she shouldn't have been turned to stone like the other villains" they're gonna see her as "just like that mean girl in school who always picks on me and never gets in trouble for it because the teachers like her, I'm GLAD she got turned to stone! FUCK tiffany!"

[marietheran]

the sheer number of people on this website who are the nicest kindest individuals ever until they find out you disagree with them on something morally important wherupon they turn exceedingly vitriolic is staggering tbh.

[mem-fr]

[pyrosomatic-metamorphosis]

okay but elquackity did that SO CLEVERLY.

he made the festival seem harmless. told forever about the festival, but didn't describe it exactly. he floated it like it's an idea he's still coming up with, almost "disarming it." Normally when someone has a trap they have steps they want the victim to take to fall into it, and they're more likely to have it all planned out. by "not knowing" what the event will be yet, elquackity can also suggest that there is no plan, i.e no trap.

he added a distraction. he told forever he didn't want him to tell anyone about the wedding, drawing the suspicion towards quackity's sus actions (and leaving elquackity's plans unharmed if they get fussy about quackity and the wedding lmao)

i forgor. elquackity used quackity as a distraction because it wouldnt messs with his plans but. what ARE his plans? to kill the eggs? to become president? we already know that destroying the eggs won't help him. it's too risky. there's too many candidates and the players love the eggs too much. if his plan was to kill everyone so they would have to vote for him he'd be going after the players, not their eggs.

what if elquackity is, like the wedding thing, just a distraction? we know he's acting for us- he's pretending to be quackity even when other players aren't around. so why is he doing it so badly?

we know that he's smart- the interaction with forever just now proved it. but he misspelled richarlyson's name, and he ignored richarlyson almost entirely

this wouldn't be notable except after everyone pointed out that his coldness last stream was evidence that he is not, in fact, quackity, he kissed richarlyson's forehead when he met up with them earlier today. he knows that quackity cares for richarlyson, so why would this clever man not only fail to spell his name, but also avoid his signs

every player reads the egg signs

it's one of the most obvious things they do to show their love for the eggs

they pause in their conversations so they can include the eggs

they read the signs

elquackity didn't read the sign

he fake looked at it but didn't actually look at it. he wanted it to look to richas like he read it, but knew that we, the audience, would realize he didn't

why the double bluff

i think he wants us to know that he isn't quackity

i think he wants the other players to know he isn't quackity

i think he's a distraction

threatening the eggs is the most distracting thing you can do

look at how many people came together to protect pomme when she was attacked

he keeps hyping up the fact that he's going to kill the eggs

killing the eggs is the focus

just like he made the wedding the focus when he was talking to forever

so what is he hiding

[teapot-of-tyrahn]

MARTYN'S EXPRESSION GETS ME. litlerally live slug reaction.

[redriotinggg]

I may be in the minority here but I like to think that Usopp’s appearance (pre and post ts) has never been a source of insecurity for him. I think that Usopp loves his nose because it reminds him of his mom. He loves his brown skin and his curly hair! His thick eyebrows and big lips and round eyes help him make lots of cool expressions when he’s telling a story. Plus, Kaya used to always compliment his long lashes, so he’s come to love those, too. He knows he got hot during his two years on Boin and he owns it. Usopp has a lot of self-esteem issues, but that boy wouldn’t consider himself ugly.

[frankensteinmutual]

I'm so used to being surrounded by kind and thoughtful neurodivergent people at this point that I've forgotten that sometimes neurodivergency can make us assholes in very specific ways and even though yes there's nothing wrong with us for being "different" and we shouldn't feel ashamed of who we are etc etc it's still kind of also our job to try and not actively hurt other people and then just excuse it with "well I'm autistic/have bpd/xyz so you can't be mad" or "if you don't like me treating you bad you're making me feel like I can't be my true self around you" or something like. I feel like it's very obvious to me because I have The Disorder That Makes Everyone Think You're Shitty so I'm always very aware of trying not to be, but others. not so much I think

[jabberwockprince]

reworking this old ass oc and trying to figure out colors <3

[fallenbhaalspawn]

one of the things about Orin that fascinates me is how she definitely is a dedicated bhaalist, but not nearly as dedicated to bhaal and how that's shown in a bunch of little (many unintentional) ways! her outfit being red instead of the traditional bhaalist black (or that weird bronze/gold some bhaalist armor gets), her title of the Red given to her not by bhaal nor fellow bhaalists, but by her cognate doppelgangers, the jewelry she shares with her mother but is worn by no other bhaalists, etc.

even before she says "I did all this for [Sarevok]!" and finding her Helena's corpse in Orin's room even after her mother attempted to kill her, a fact which she is clearly and justifiably caught up in, you can still see the breadcrumbs leading to the fact she is primarily driven by her more direct familial connections instead of her god