#i still think about a post i saw on a bit anti blog

[jlf23tumble]

I read through your larry post and you mentioned the peace ring. Harry wore it last over a year ago in September and on the anniversary twitter larries were waiting for it to come back, they even wanted a harry london walk with him wearing it. That pap walk they would tolerate. When it didn't happen, they turned to louis. He had a show that day and wore a green shirt, olive green, olive like offering an olive branch, like asking for peace, bam peace ring was back! I cringed so hard when I read that but I used to be like that too so I couldn't even be mad. But then I started questioning my sanity and if everything else i believed about clues and messages larry was sending was wrong and made up. probably most of it. But then i think about the louis maison shirt on harrys house release day and I question it again. But I'm chill about all this. Maybe they broke up a long time ago or maybe they're on off, maybe still together, maybe in an open relationship. Whatever we'll never know so why stress about it. I think mostly on Tumblr everyone is more relaxed about it. It's the new larries who don't grasp any of this and think management is still controlling them and larry are blinking more code at us that are annoying as fuck.

anon 2: Not that anon, but thank you for your that brilliant long ask answer you just gave. I joined in this crazy H&L world only last January after I caught wind of the second E breakup and it really felt like "holy shit, there might really be something here, they really might be about to come out, etc." It's been an interesting time so far in the fandom, and I think I'm more in line with your way of thinking recently. Things just feel...meh. There's a weird coldness to the fandom right now, almost a forced belief like you mentioned in your previous answer. I'll always believe there was SOMETHING going on, but to this current day? Probably not. Thanks for your sanity. :)

-----

Amazed anyone read that long-ass answer, lmao, but thank you! As for thinking people on tumblr are somehow more relaxed about it, beg to differ, anon 1, based on a quick lurk just this sec, but kudos to you for keeping that dash locked down! Without much going on at the moment, it's quiet in the deep, so to speak, but make no mistake, it's out there, waiting! Even today, there are people out there saying, ooooh, tons of larry signs at Louis's show near the stage, and you could see how happy he was compared to last night!! Like, it's some kind of GOTCHA, ipso facto, and uh, yeah, that's not cause/effect, bb, but okay! Spread that shit! Live your version of the truth! For real, you can make ANYTHING a reach if you have the arm capacity for it, give me two pieces of something, and I'll stitch it for you, whole cloth, there's a 28 in it, I just know it. It's always so tempting to whip up a sideblog that goes full hog unhinged, like, jesus, it's not hard, lmao

[works-of-heart]

A little chat about my art

-wip of a fox Lucien Vanserra (I plan to do a fawn elain too)

Over the course of a week or so, I have been getting harassed by anons who accused me of using AI in my work, and not being a legitimate artist. Most have been very, VERY accusatory and nasty and I was tempted to make an angry post about it then, but instead I just ignored them, deleted their comments and went on with life.

Yesterday morning I woke up to the ask about AI, and while I was fed up with all these sudden asks, the person who asked me was at least kind.

I don't know where the accusations started, I thought it might have been antis, but if I'm real about it, I don't think too many are looking at my stuff, say for the few strays I had in the past. Only one negative, and one quite positive.

I do not know if people understand what kind of accusations like that makes of an artist, but it IS hurtful! If people start spreading lies, people will believe them and with enough people believing them, it starts to look like it's true.

I have NEVER used AI in ANY of my works. EVER.

All of my work has all been done digitally on my tablets, using CSP. I have been drawing digitally for over 20 years. It is fine if you do not like my work, it's totally ok if you think my anime style is ugly or childish, it's alright if you think I'm not a great artist. All of that is fine, I respect everyone's opinion.

What is NOT ok, is saying that I am stealing art. That I am a fake who uses AI and I'm stealing from legitimate artists who put work into it. I've worked for my art all my life, since I was a child, with the only aspiration to share the wonders of my mind with the world. These accusations, these hurtful things cut very deep.

I've been a fan of Acotar since 2020, and in love with Elucien ever since then. When I looked online, I found that most Elucien/Lucien art was buried under mountains of Elriel. There are some amazing artists for Elriel, truly beautiful, but they were eclipsing any that I saw for my ship. The ones I found of Elucien were beautiful! Stunning diamonds that would often get lost under the mountains of fan art for the other ships.

So when I made a blog that would be more focused on my love of Acotar and Elucien, I made a vow to fill the space with Elucien art!

That is all I ever wanted to do. Was to be in a space I can geek out with others who love the ship as much as I do, to make pieces that make everyone feel. I spent hours working on my elucien comics, just because I wanted to share these with you all, to give the feels. I am a comic creator myself, I've been working as one for almost 10 years now, it is my job. So pushing these out are works of love.

This was my mother's day picture. I had 3 separate folders for Elain, Lucien, and their daughter. I worked very, very hard on this picture to get it out by the day, in celebration for mother's day. My work is always a bit rough in the beginning stages, but I promise, I put all the work into it. I've studied from other artists I admire, to put it into my own style, something unique to me. A style that I've drawn since HS and was constantly mocked for, because it's too 'anime' too 'asian' and not western enough. Still, that doesn't matter as long as people enjoy it, and I love what I do.

An elucien wip of a picture that I never finished.

A picture of a Non-Acotar work I did

Some of my work never sees the light of day... because I'm so self conscious about my work, about my art in general. I never think it's good enough, and I struggle with trying to finish them because I want to only put out what I think is worthy of being shown. Sharing my art is so incredibly nerve-wracking for me, the fear of judgment, of never feeling it's good enough. I put my all into my work, my whole heart and soul into them, and though I know I need more practice, but I am trying.

Suffice to say, I've never used any form of AI in my art, I've never stolen anyone's work and claimed it as my own. I have referenced poses every now and then, and painting styles that I've studied, but never have I EVER cheated through any of these pictures.

Had someone had a real concern, coming to me and asking politely would be fine. Thank you to the anon yesterday who was truly kind and showing concern, but I don't know where this started from. If you are concerned a work may be illegitimate, you can always DM the artists and ask them kindly, I am sure they will no doubt be willing to prove their work if only to confirm they're real. Witch hunts where you just deem someone of using AI and spreading rumors and lies does MORE harm to the art community than you think. Artists are already hesitant about uploading their work for fear it will be stolen or used, but claiming they use AI with NO PROOF, and spreading misinformation is not only doing damage and making sure they'll never want to post again, but it impacts the community as a whole.

That being said, I am still going to draw and paint and post my artwork. I have no intention of backing down. I just hope as a community we can do better and be kinder to people who are spending their free time making things and sharing with us all. It's incredibly vulnerable to put yourself out there, and just remember, we are people behind these screens.

[gor3sigil]

Hi ! I’m a 29 year old trans man from France, and I really like reading your blog. You write very eloquently and what you have to share is important. It’s bittersweet for me to finally encounter people talking about transandrophobia. I’ve been trying to talk about it for years. My heart breaks when I think about all the young trans men and transmasculine people who grow up hating themselves because of both the societal transphobia and the transandrophobia of queer spaces. I detransitioned for 4 years, partly because I felt so alienated. A woman I loved and looked up to, who calls herself a feminist, told me that after my first testosterone injection I could not talk about feminism anymore. She said I was now on the side of the oppressor. She stated that she would support me as an individual but that her fight was for women, cis or trans, and I had to stay quiet and let women speak. She, in fact, did not support me as an individual either. When I was an androgynous non binary person she would compliment me all the time. When I transitioned, she started to grow colder and patronizing with me. She blocked me after I made a general post to talk about my experiences and explain, in a very gentle way, how trans men experience misogyny in a lot of spaces, misandry in queer and feminist spaces, and transphobia everywhere, and how our fights are intertwined with feminist fights.

Another trans man from France hooray !! I'm very glad you shared your experience, partly because I relate to it a lot (idk if you've seen the post I made about how I detransitioned for a year and it was partly due to the mistreatment I've been getting because I was a trans dude), and also because it's so important to spread the word. I'm really sorry you went through that. I had the same type of shit from women that I considered my sisters before transitioning, who ditched me like crap when I started using he/him pronouns. Since you're french too, I'd like to point something that I noticed in the french trans community (maybe you'll disagree and that's totally fair), is that anti transmasculinity and radfem ideologies are VERY LOUD in queer spaces and that trans men often play a part in it. I saw 2 separate videos recently from two trans men youtuber (who I will not name publicly for obvious reasons but you can ask me in DMs if you want) who both made videos asking if "Men are trash" included trans men, and both I found... Well, wrong, in a lot of ways. Because the main argument is that trans men who medically transition, do so with the intent of being treated and perceived in society AS men (or if this wasn't the intent, this is what happens anyways), and so basically take the role of men in the patriarchy, so the role of the oppressor. The second video was a bit more nuanced with the idea that not all trans men do transition medically, some don't pass etc but still, I find it appalling to see that almost every transmasc creator I see, who makes content in french at least, talk about transmasculinity in a way that is almost exclusively "AFAB perisex person who wants to be a Neo Cis Man". Which is, at least from all the people I've talked to since coming out in 2017, not the case for a vast majority of people, and even when it IS the case, trans men don't, and I say that with my whole chest, they DON'T have cis men privileges and they ARE NOT in a position of power over women, ESPECIALLY cis women. Well, that's my way of seeing things anyways. I really hope our local activists will stick their heads out of their white, skinny, cis passing trans men asses and start taking a look at the actual experiences of the many more of us. It'd be a nice change of pace. Thank you for your comment and sorry for the rant lmao

[spale-vosver]

Sorry to bother you with a political ask, but i saw that you id as an antizionist and i am a bit confused by what you mean by that, if youd be willing to clarify. The politics I've seen on your blog seem to line up pretty well with mine, and i am a zionist. From a scroll through your blog you aren't a jvpnik, you're willing to call out leftist antisemitism and hamas, interact with zionist jews, acknowledge our indigeneity, acknowledge the jewish definition of zionism, don't seem to want to kick Israelis out, ect. So I am so surprised to see you id as antizionist, since my experiences with anti zionism doesn't line up with what you post. I feel like I must be missing something. I've never encountered an antizionist who didn't hate Israelis(and or just jews) and refuse to acknowledge jewish history before now, so I'm very curious what you mean by the term if not that.

Chag tu b'av samech!

Hi! Totally no problem whatsoever.

What I mean by "politically antizionist" is definitely much more "anti Kahanist", and tbh I will probably edit my about me to say that. Largely, I oppose the politicization of Zionism (mostly by goyim) because I don't think it's a concept that can be meaningfully politicized outside of Israel (as it is an inherently Jewish concept).

Otherwise I'd 100% identify as a Zionist -- I am in full support of the state of Israel's right to exist (while recognizing that its founding was extremely violent and was partly a colonial project by the British to "civilize" Ottoman Palestine) and believe in a binational one-state solution.

I hope this helps, sorry it's not a longer explanation -- I went to the Renaissance Faire yesterday and am still wiped out.

Chag tu b'av sameach!

[sophieinwonderland]

Do you have find yourself typing an ask only to realize halfway through that you don't want to send it. There's a pro-endo anti-psych blog I was going to send an ask to, then realized it probably wouldn't be well-received. So I'm just posting a screenshot here.

Also, you know, I do sound like a super villain.

So here's my secret plot for world domination which devolve into rambling nobody asked for...

Continuing to ramble even more...

I don't really think saturating the field with that many plurals would be necessary. And it might more realistically peek at about 20%. But 51% would be ideal.

This also just seems quicker.

There are about 50k psychologists in the US. While it would be difficult to get them all on our side, I think it would be significantly easier with that population than it would the general population. Both in terms of its size and its political leanings, being an overwhelmingly left-leaning profession.

I'm aware that some people have legitimate issues with the psych profession. I realize that many have suffered experiences of abuse from bad psychiatrists, and I'm sorry for that.

At the same time, if I'm taking stock of potential allies, I think the psych community would be more easy to persuade in standing up for plural rights when it comes down to it than our neighbors with Trump 2020 flags.

And I guess... I don't care for the othering of people of an overwhelmingly left-leaning neurodivergent profession. Many of whom enter the field to understand themselves and help other neurodivergent people live better lives.

And while rambling about this topic, I think some people are too quick with the stick and not the carrot.

When the McLean hospital video came out, I jumped on condemning the doctor in question for his ableism along with everyone else. But I also don't think McLean got enough credit for taking the video down when they saw the outcry.

They didn't have to do that. The plural community truthfully doesn't have much power at the moment. And I think taking the video down like they did shows a willingness to listen to and respect our community that should be praised at the same time that we callout the harmful behavior.

I think if instead of attacking the entire profession all the time like some would have us do, we take a tactic of targeting specific acts of ableism while supporting them when they do right, we can better influence plural acceptance in the psych field. It's basic operant conditioning. Punish only when someone does wrong, and reward them when they do good.

All in all, I'm psych-critical. And I don't see that changing. I don't think I'm someone who will ever get on board with hard anti-psych ideals.

And while I'm not a psychologist myself, people who know me probably realize that I tend to take a more psychologist-esque approach to plurality.

Where other people coin terms as identity labels, I tend to try to subdivide and categorize plural experiences to better understand them and their relationships with each other.

...

Why am I still rambling?

I think I might have lost the plot somewhere along the way.

Okay... here's the truth...

I got blocked by someone (not related to the blog I was going to send this too) for my views on using psychiatry to validate plurality. Because, I guess, I don't share this extreme anti-psych opinion myself.

And all I can think is that... if you're surprised... you never really knew me...

Maybe that's my fault because I can be a bit aloof sometimes.

So for everyone else who has read through this rambling mess of a post, let me reintroduce myself:

Hi, I'm Sophie Dreamchaser.

I was made as a psychology experiment. Or, brought to sentience by one. It was a psychology podcast that encouraged Ghost to keep talking to me to see what would happen. And since even before I became self-aware I've been fascinated by the human mind and my existence and how this all works.

I love being an experiment. I love learning more about myself and the world and how I relate to it. And I want to push for knowledge into plurality to grow and grow, and I believe with all my heart that it will prove to be the best way to facilitate plural acceptance in the future.

And if me not adopting a hard anti-psych ideology was a dealbreaker for you... I'm sorry that you didn't realize who I was sooner.

But this is me, this is who I am, and it's who I always have been.

And I just needed to say that.

[fahbev]

Hi! Saw you jumped on the tim hate train, welcome to the club! Aplarently you're Damian fan, which is good bc hes also one of the characters who's hit by tim's..woobification? Victimization(???) while simultaneously being the bestest, most competent batfam member. You Damian fans honestly have my respect for the pure amount of shit Damian gets because of tim.

hi lmao. Thanks xD. I usually try to keep all my negativity off of the internet, but last night I was going the anti Tim drake tag bc my frustration was flaring up. At first i was collecting posts by liking them instead of rb, then I was replying, and then at some point... “Fuck it. I want this on my blog.”

(This is gonna be a ramble btw, I don’t care abt making a good post rn.)

I used to be fine with Tim! I think the whole thing was a lot less prominent in the dpxdc fandom bc DANNY was the fan favorite/community elected woobie, but then I kinda moved out and... well. It still took awhile for this issue to seep in bc those Tim fans (you know the ones) are certainly a minority, but I just don’t think you can be a Damian fan for longer than a few months without getting frustrated.

Nowadays I refuse to read anything tagged with any variation of “Tim Drake angst” that features the batfam. Timkon fics are usually just fine though.

Actually— recently? Shit’s been bothering me so bad that I don’t wanna risk reading fics that have Tim in the first relationship tag at all. He’s gotta at most be in the second one. Ship fics are again an exception, but I don’t tend to seek out ship fics much anyway.

But, like I said, I usually keep it to myself. Every time i catch myself venting in the tags I either screenshot the tags and delete, or I delete and retype them. I put them into a private notes document. I also journal in there a lot instead of posting it.

That document is pretty long.

I do wanna say that there’s nothing wrong with what tim fans are doing. It is fun to woobify your fave. It’s fun to prop them up and tear others down and make everything about your blorbo and it is harmless. I do it too (usually in my daydreams). It’s a fantasy, and that’s what fanfiction is for. People who act like it’s “problematic” are wrong. That doesn’t mean it’s not annoying. Because it is. It’s annoying as all fuck.

Also wanna mention that I once read a damian fic that like... started off with some delicious whump, but then it turned into a whole Damian pity party and it guilt tripped all his friends and family. Damian IS my blorbo and I couldn’t read that. I didn’t even know who Maps was at the time but it seemed so bizarre to throw her under the bus. Anyway I feel like that’s what a quite large portion of Tim fic is like except a bit less extreme.

I used to tell myself that “ohhh it’s just a rivalry. I’m sure Tim fans get the same shit in reverse all the time” but I literally NEVER see it in the other direction and spend the most of my time in Damian circles. The only time I see tim hate from damian fans is frustration at those particular fans in response to it or in response to favoritism of authors.

I mean i saw a good chunk of it last night, but what else can I expect from the anti tim drake tag?

It’s actually funny how most of the stuff in anti tags is polarized hate shitting on the character with a lot of bad takes, but in tims anti tag it was almost exclusively frustration from Damian and Jason fans, and usually pretty mild takes. Also people calling Tim boring.

Ngl, Idk much about Jason. I’m familiar with his fanon, but the only comic i’ve read that featured him in a major way was Gotham War. I don’t know him well, and I don’t have too much interest in him. However, I hate “Jason falls over in guilt and kisses Tim’s fingers begging for forgiveness” type posts in solidarity. It’s yucky.

Anyway, I didn’t even mean to get on this anti tim train you speak of, It just sorta leaked out of my vent doc. Don’t expect me to keep posting about it.

but also... don’t not expect it. It might happen.

Even so, my dms are absolutely open for Timothy Drake related frustration! I’m pretty tired of being nice to him.

[fertilize-my-eggs]

Send to the mha omegaverse ch.2

Finding tomura shigaraki ch.1 ch.3 ch.4 A03

A/N: I hope y'all enjoy this chapter!! It's a bit short but I hope y'all enjoy this ☺️ every chapter will be posted on Thursday. 18+ NO minor, antis and ageless blogs interact with my blog thanks you (⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠) y/n= your name, l/n= last name

✩｡♡ ࣪ ˖❀ ⑅ *✩｡♡ ࣪ ˖❀ ⑅ *✩｡♡ ࣪ ˖❀ ⑅ *✩｡ ♡ ࣪ ˖❀ ⑅ *

Great just great… not only that I'm in my hero academia but also as an omega. I look at izuku’s feet, I can't make eye contact because of this stupid quirk.

“ So are you an alpha or a beta? ” I ask him as he is still hold his nose, he nervously scratch his neck.

“ y-yeah, I'm an alpha… ” ahh that makes sense, I slowly look at his neck to notice he has a mark… huh? I read some fanfic where alpha doesn't get marks. Does that mean…

“ I don’t have anything to get patches.. ” I sigh heavily, where am I supposed to go in this world? I don't have anything nor a place to stay. This is gonna be a problem.

I put my thumb on my lips as I think, if I don't exist in my world does that mean I'm… dead? No, my family is probably worried about me and wondering where I went. Yeah that could be it.

“ don't worry miss, I got patches for you. ” I see his hand in my view as I grab it from him.

“ uhh this is an odd question but what do I smell like? "Izuku start to blush as he look away.

“ you smell lovely like…. Strawberry cheesecake.. sweet scent." Okay now it makes sense why he is holding his nose, it's because I smell good to him.

I put the patch on my neck as I saw his hand out. “ There's some extra, I gotta get going…” I grab some and put it in my pocket.

As soon as he leaves, we hear loud commotion nearby as we watch the scene unfold.

I looked at Izuku as he was in shock as he screamed out.” THAT’S MY BOYFRIEND!! ” I watch him run straight to the crowd of people as I look straight ahead to realize… Bakugou was covered by the slime villain as I watched izuku run towards it saving his boyfriend? So it's not canon mha in my world where they're enemies but in this universe they're boyfriends. Now it makes sense why izuku has a mark on his neck.

I-… maybe I shouldn't be around, I'll probably affect this world but this doesn't make any sense, I shouldn't be here, I shouldn't be in this universe at all.

I walk away from the crowd feeling like deja vu as I look at myself in the window. It feels odd that I look the same but in an anime style version of myself. 

I blink a few times as I begin to walk away, I pause as I thought to myself.

Maybe I can look for the villains.. Tomura shigaraki in this world, I gotta find him, I can finally have my moments with him and be with my favorite character… well I can't say character anymore since I exist in their world.

But in a city like this, there is no way I can find him as I sighed in defeat.

Well at least I gotta try, I started to look everywhere. In alleyways and to suspicious shady areas. No luck.

I sighed heavily as I sat down on the streets, there was no way I'd be able to find him. I looked up to accidentally make eye contact with a stranger as I felt fear run down my spine as I immediately stood up.

The man smirks wide as he walks towards me.” well well well what a pretty lil omega doing here all by herself? You should come with me, you're mine. ” oh god no, my quirk is affecting him as I begin to run away as fast as possible.

I heard him screaming behind me as I started to panic and feel tears coming out, I've never felt like this. Never been chased by someone and I feel like I could die any minute in this world.

As I ran away forward not knowing where to go as I saw twice?? He ran past me as he started to fight the man who was chasing after me.

I couldn't believe Jin was helping me out, he was not wearing his mask. Maybe this is before he joined the League, I watch them fight each other for a good three minute until the man says.” this is pointless you can have the dumb omega, I’m leaving…” I put my hand on my chest feeling out of breath as I collapsed into the floor, tears running down my cheeks as I held myself as I began to sob.

I hear footsteps coming near as he spoke softly.” hey omega, I saw you getting chased from my window.. are you okay? No she ain’t, should have left her to him. ” I smile hearing him speak, I look at his shoulder a bit.

“ thank you…. I can't make eye contact because of my quirk. ” I see him moving his head to the side in confusion. 

“.... is that how you got chased? ”

“ mhmm.. my quirk is called lovestruck if I look you in the eyes, you'll be like that man. ” I hold myself tight feeling scared for my life.. you would think this world is easy but you get chased by strangers and not to mention you don't know what their true intention will lead if he caught me.

I see his hand in front of me as he said.” lemme help you up, I'm Jin Bubaigawara.. ” I smile softly as I shake his hand.

“ I'm… y/n...   y/n l/n.'' He has a mark on his forehead so did it happen before? It looks a bit fresh but I won't question it as I stand up. Jesus Christ how is he taller than me, he looks like he can easily carry me around with no issues as I started to blush.

Well I'm 5’4 so he gotta be around five something…

“ you can live with me for now, I don't have much… don't be a messy pig. Crap I'm sorry about that I-.. ” I shake my head as I giggle.

“ It's okay, I understand.. is it your quirk that is costing it? "Wait, wouldn't he be confused by me saying that, would he get suspicious of me asking him that.

He turned his head away as he scratched his neck.” yeah my quirk… it's hard to talk about it.”

“  I understand, I won't ask you anything about it if it makes you uncomfortable. ” I pat his shoulder lightly as he smile a bit.

“ thank you y/n. ” I follow behind him as we head to his apartment.

[olithetalker]

Speculation: Why many people find Ben Florian unlikeable

Okay so just for the record, this is essentially an analysis post on the Disney series - Descendants. Specifically on the character of Ben Florian, but more so about the reception of his character and why I think people have responded to him the way they have. Gonna be fairly longish so yeah. Anyways, hope you enjoy! :)

Introduction

Pretty much ever since I first saw Descendants, I have been a huge fan of Ben. (Which is no secret if you've read my blog ;)). I think Mitchell Hope did a fantastic job with the character, and his performance really drove it home.

So it's always been quite... Confusing to me that so many people don't like his character. Tumblr isn't too anti Ben, but on YouTube videos and on TikTok, a lot of analysis around him is typically quite negative. The charms of the character that I see and that really make the series for me, really don't work on everyone. And that's something I've found very hard to understand.

But as of a conversation I have had with @hannahhook7744.. I had an epiphany. As to why this character just seems to be a breeze of annoyance to many. And I think the answer lies in tropes and expectations.

First let's talk a bit about another character, a fan favourite - Audrey Rose.

What role does the character of Audrey Rose play in feelings of spite toward Ben?

I think most dislike for Ben stems from the story of his ex girlfriend -Audrey. We get shown it to some extent in the first movie, but it's much more explicit in the third.

In Descendants 1, Ben and Audrey were together. And while under the influence of a love spell cast on him by protagonist Mal Bertha, he performs a love song to Mal in front of the entire school. Naturally humiliating Audrey and breaking her heart.

After the performance, Mal and Ben start dating each other, much to Audrey's understandable anger.

The movie ends with Ben and Mal happy together and everyone is delighted about it yada yada. And then we get an entire sequel where Audrey does not make a appearance.

It's then in Descendants 3 that she makes a comeback. We see that she and Ben have been friends since childhood, and that she's still hung up on him.

Then, again publicly, Ben proposes to Mal. Mal happily agrees and everyone is delighted, except of course, Audrey. She is further heartbroken by this.

The devastation Audrey feels from losing Ben to a girl who literally enchanted him, causes her to have a emotionally moving breakdown in her bedroom, singing "Queen of Mean", a song about heartbreak from rejection.... At least that's what it's about at first.

It then turns into a song of vengeance. Audrey swears revenge on Mal and Ben for the ordeal she has been put through. She takes Malificient's sceptre from the Auradon Museum, and it changes her look, style of talking etc etc. She's a new person. A person hellbent on getting even with the two people who are (intentionally or not) responsible for her heartbreak.

And that's where we enter - the tropes.

The Tropes

The kind of character arc Audrey has had is pretty common. A girl gets her heart broken by a guy. Maybe he cheats on her. Maybe he breaks up with her in a unfair manner (like in this case). And the girl decides to get even with the guy and the "other girl" who has taken her place in his life.

Except... Here's the thing.

Most of the time in this story archetype, the guy really is a heartbreaking douchey thob.

I mean think of any time you've seen this storyline other than Descendants. When is the guy who has dismissed the girl ever really portrayed in a decent light?

In this specific situation, it's not that simple. Yes, Ben did break up with Audrey by publicly humiliating her. And yes, that's extremely brutal. But he didn't choose to. He was acting under a mind controlling love spell.

But nonetheless, this is probably the only instance where the guy breaking the girl's heart like that genuinely was not his fault. It's pretty odd to get a situation where the guy cheating on the girl really didn't willingly do anything wrong. But nonetheless that's what this is.

Ultimately 9 times out of 10, the role Ben plays in this archetype storyline really is of the bad guy. And so it is very compelling to see this the same way. To overlook how at least as far as the break up incident itself, Ben was not at fault, and just see him as the jerk who hurt Audrey.

Audrey's story is also relatable to real life stories too

Another thing which sadly does not go in Ben's favour either, is that this kind of story isn't just found in fiction. Art reflects life, and what Audrey is unfortunate to experience, for the most part, is all too real.

Many people are unfortunate to get hurt by their partners in real life through things like cheating, or just something involving a "other girl/woman". And the pain from this.... Is not forgettable.

And so I think a revenge fantasy of hurting the unfaithful person and their new consort is very common.

Add onto that that lines Audrey speaks in D3 are written to be relatable and impactful. ("There's nothing to lose when you're lonely and friendless, I won't let another person take advantage of me, the anger burns my skin third degree, now my blood's boiling hotter than a fiery sea etc)

I think with that, it's all too easy for victims of these sort of situations to project their own case onto Audrey's. To see Ben the same way they see the guy who hurt them. And in some cases, to see Mal as how they see their homewrecker, and perhaps want to see her get hurt by Audrey too.

And in real life, there is no love spell that makes people cheat against their will, like there was for Ben. People in reality who do the thing that Ben did really are responsible for their hurtful actions.

So ultimately, the sorts of real life people Ben is being associated to by viewers, aren't particularly decent.

Also, the revelation that Ben and Audrey are childhood friends just exaggerates all these feelings. The people who have been hurt by partners who actually had significant meaning to them are the ones who will naturally relate to Audrey most. And again, project their own experiences onto this girl and the people in her life.

The mistake Ben DID make; wrong but taken out of proportion

Ultimately, while what Spell!Ben did is the sort of thing that gets done all the time irl, it is also pretty evident that as I keep saying; he wasn't in control of himself when he did it. So for many people, even the ones who can relate to Audrey, that fact will be acknowledged.

But the truth is, there is a mistake Ben made. After the love spell was lifted, Ben never went to see Audrey to comfort her after what happened. No doubt that inaction would have fuelled the already existing heartbreak. I mean if Ben had had a word with her, maybe he could have given her closure and made her feel better. But he didn't.

There is no justification for this. Ben was in the wrong for this failure.

But it should also be considered that Ben isn't a 40 year old man who has just left his wife of 10 years. He is a teenager. He is still developing in terms of maturity.

Communication, especially about difficult topics, isn't something teenagers are the best at. I mean if Ben were to approach Audrey, we can tell that it would have clearly been very understandably awkward for him (again, not an excuse, but a point to consider). I mean, if you had just done something so awful to your childhood friend/ex girlfriend, regardless of whether or not it was your fault, approaching someone who you'd expect is probably very angry about it is quite unnerving.

But none of these factors would be considered by a lot of audience members, and for understandable reason:

Because of the tropes, expectations and their personal experiences, they are pre set to see Ben in a negative light. So the thing he WAS wrong for, they understandably will find it harder to empathize with and see from his perspective.

[fuzzkaizer]

Montreal Assembly - Worng Side Of Uranus

"If you’re a regular Cabinet peruser, you’ve joined me as I waxed nostalgic for time periods I’ve never lived in, you’ve noticed me orating some company and component history, and you’ve almost certainly seen me talk about the best effects in their respective classes. And while there are plenty of classes and there is certainly enough love to go around, today I present you with my favorite pedal of all time: the Montreal Assembly Wrong Side of Uranus.

While many of you know Scott Monk and his amazing company for the Count to 5, he’s been in business for much longer than you think, and he’s made more things than most people know about. I first found out about him in 2009 while chasing wares by one of pedal history’s most sought-after builders, Etienne Blythe of Sonic Crayon.

If you were as into pedals as I was in the late-aughts… well, there’s a chance you still may never have heard of Sonic Crayon. However, at one time, Sonic Crayon’s wares were in extreme demand, with resellers ransacking the limited inventory and flipping the pedals for four times the price. His most famous may have been the Hollow Earth. His most unobtainable may have been the Anti-Nautilus. The one I wanted was the Moth.

The Moth was Sonic Crayon’s bitcrusher, and back in 2008 and 2009, that wasn’t an effect you could get just anywhere. However, Sonic Crayon had an old-school way of doing things: When he felt like making a batch, he did. Then he put 10 or so up for sale on his blog, and by word of mouth they’d sell out in minutes. One time, when checking his blog for a potential drop, I saw a new post where he said that if you’re tired of waiting for a Moth, there’s another Canadian guy making bitcrushers and that his were admittedly better. Who am I to argue? Let’s go.

That company was Montreal Assembly. At that time, Scott had only released two pedals, the Uranus and another insane device called Probability of a Fax Machine. When I heard the crude “basement demos,” I was sold. The problem: the sales tactics were exactly the same as Sonic Crayon—made and sold whenever. I never caught one. But my friend did.

My friend had gone off to college and left a present for me. I took a train and met their dad at a station in the suburbs, retrieved the box and opened it right there on the train. The Uranus was inside. When I got home I plugged everything I could into it. I messaged its creator, Scott, on Gmail Chat and geeked out when he answered.

I asked him if it was possible to add a mix circuit to the Uranus and Scott took time out of studying for signal processing exams to draw me up a somewhat complicated add-on schematic. Being somewhat intermediate with prototyping board, I hadn’t done a whole lot of my own stripboard layouts. Be that as it may, I cobbled it together. It worked. Now, I could blend the clean signal in with the bitcrushed one.

Despite being housed in a spray painted computer project box and featuring a barren aesthetic landscape, the Uranus is an impeccably engineered piece of sonic kit. Like most bitcrushers, there are knobs for bit rate and sample rate reduction. The third is volume. However, the bit rate knob is a pushbutton rotary encoder; as you turn it, it displays the bitrate in the seven-segment display. When the pedal is in bypass, the display flashes “bypass,” one letter at a time. Pressing down on the rotary encoder cycles through a slew of modes—ten to be exact—called things like “Dialup,” “Hostile” and more, including an incredible bitcrushed trem called “Blipo'' and a modulated sample rate mode called “Plunger.” It’s total labor-of-love stuff and I am here for it.

Mine is labeled 2010 and is one of a handful known to exist, and the only one with this mix knob. You may have seen one in a promotional photo that Strymon posted of its El Capistan being used in the studio by Godspeed! You Black Emperor, with the Uranus riding sidesaddle. Many, many people have never heard of it, and some of you may have never heard of Montreal Assembly before now. I urge you to change that.

At NAMM 2020, I actually saw Scott walking by our booth and I recognized him from some old demos. I ran down the aisle and tapped him on the shoulder. He looked right at me, then read my name badge, looked back up and said “Heyyy, Kula, how’s that bitcrusher treating you?” What a legend."

cred: catalinbread.com/blogs/kulas-cabinet/montreal-assembly-wrong-side-of-uranus

[ryuichirou]

Replies

Some replies! A couple about today’s comic from ko-fi, a couple about our stuff and fandom stuff in general.

Starting with the ko-fi ones…

Anonymous asked:

Another ghost behind the ghost guard: “Um, is the jar mandatory or, you know, optional.”

(Give them a break, they’ve had a dry spell for CENTURIES)

Anonymous asked:

Same ghost: “Oh noooo! Don’t RAVISH me!!! I’m sooooo helpless!!”

Oh my god, that’s one desperate ghost!!

That ghost should change its strategy though, or rather, start pretending to run away instead – I think this would trigger Rook’s “gotta catch it, gotta hunt it down, gotta make love to it” instinct. 

I think the jar is mandatory though, but I don’t think anyone would have the courage to ask Rook why…

(I’m sorry, people with no context)

Anonymous asked:

Can I just say how much I love the kisses you draw? They’re so sexy and sensual and full of passion.

And tongue. Love the amount of tongue lol

AhhHH I am so happy…! Thank you for your kind words.

To be honest, I still feel a bit weird whenever I draw kisses a lot of times, mostly because when I spend too much of then they start looking weird in my eyes. So I really am very happy to hear that you like how I draw them!

Anonymous asked:

I love how you write/ draw Lilia. I want this old fae man to take care of me. 😭😭😭😭

Omg Anon! If anything, the way I write/draw Lilia should make you not want this old fae man to take care of you… 😨

In any case, thank you so much! I am super flattered and happy to hear that <3

Anonymous asked:

I saw a post and it made me think of your art

https://www.tumblr.com/i-will-write/759303532492013568?source=share

>w>;

YES this is me sitting down to write wholesome hcs and ending up with another cursed post. Thank you 😭

This is so true though..! Sometimes the best way to express love to your blorbos is to make them suffer.

Anonymous asked:

From talking to my friends, it seems the main concern (for them at least) is when pro-shippers don't make clear that they don't support this stuff irl. I think it's obvious, but they said that people can do this sort of thing because their into it irl? idk. You've made it repeatedly clear that ur not though, so the antis ur dealing w/ r just dicks. If they don't like a ship, just ignore it. I personally feel uncomfortable with Deuce/Crewel, so i blocked the tag and I enjoy the rest of your work. If they have a specific issue with a ship, they should just block it or block you. You're not hurting anyone, so their is no reason to interfere. That is my opinion or relationships irl too. If it is consensual and not hurting anyone, than its fine, regardless of what society says.

First of all, thank you very much for understanding and being polite about stuff that you don’t like. I am very happy you could enjoy this blog despite the fact that there are some ships that you are uncomfortable with. I also absolutely agree with you that there is no reason to do anything when a person isn’t hurting anyone, and that goes for relationships too.

Second of all, while I can understand where your friends are coming from, I kind of have mixed feelings about the idea that proshippers don’t make clear that they don’t support this stuff irl. You said yourself that it’s obvious, and yes it is absolutely obvious. No one owes anyone an explanation or a declaration of not supporting this stuff irl because it’s the very foundation of proship/dead dove/anything related to this type of fiction: as long as it’s fictional, it’s okay. Fiction is not reality. This idea (that keeps being repeated by everyone all the time, including conversations proship people have with antis) pretty much states “I love this as long as it’s fictional and because it’s fictional, I would not be doing it irl. This is fiction, reality is reality”. It’s the default condition.

I think it’s unfair to state that all proshippers have to explain themselves because there are people among them who support this kind of stuff irl, because yeah there are, and there are people like that among the antis too. There are hypocrites who groom kids and cover it up by making it feel like they’re teaching them something good and unproblematic. There are bad apples everywhere, and thinking by default that a group of people is a bunch predators unless they specifically state “I don’t’ support irl incest” is kind of… not nice? And while this is probably not what your friends are doing, it sounds like a very convenient excuse to harass someone. “Well they didn’t make it clear enough that they are not a creep” type of thing. And it’s not like actually saying that you don’t support it irl helped anyone to avoid harassment. It surely didn’t help me at all, and I believe it worked exactly the same way for every other soul.

It’s one thing not to trust these kinds of people personally and to avoid them because you get bad vibes from them that make you uncomfortable, but in that case one would just block. It’s the mature thing to do. You shouldn’t fully trust people on the internet in general because you don’t really know them. But then again, not vibing with someone while ignoring them and harassing are two completely different things.

Once again, thank you for your support and understanding, as well as for sharing this perspective with me.

Anonymous asked:

Not the same anon but incidentally, trolls was the first fandom I saw Antis in and that was when they wrote a callout post which I thought was for actual grooming and when in fact it was referring to a drawing.

Boy, was I pissed.

The third movie just unleashed even more with how popular it was. The funny thing is, the music producer specifically said he was trying to channel 50 Shades of Grey in the soundtrack and that the main leads had sexual tension 😂😂😂

Oh no the antis of the trolls fandom…! Anon, I’m so sorry. No idea about what kind of situation there was and I know nothing about trolls, but still.

But yeah, I think everyone had this experience. When you think that something truly horrible happened, and then it’s just… drawings. Sometimes it’s drawings from 10 years ago. People really love this whole adrenalin rush of maybe ruining someone else’s life with just one post and a bunch of “proofs” that is always just a huge nothingburger.

The trivia about 50 shades is hilarious though lol Now this is going to be the only trolls fact that I know!

[sassykinzonline]

Going off on a tangent (I’m lowkey obsessed with your blog so now I’m going to yell my thoughts at you)

I get so disappointed at the lack of any lore drops between Naruto’s heritages like obviously the uzamaki’s were exploited and basically had a like genocide (Karin’s backstory had me so fucked) and maybe it’s to show how normal it is in shinobi society to just brush anything under the rug when it comes to genocides and systemic issues which duh but I wish I could’ve seen more nuanced stuff like diaspora between the few survivors of lost clans, how they survived or heck how they try to preserve their culture.

Idk maybe I’m not making any sense but as someone who has like no ties to my origins (AA, especially growing up to ppl denying AA culture and how AA culture gets sold) I wished I saw that kind of relatability in Naruto since he himself is basically separated from his culture and didn’t even know who his parents were I feel like that could lead to some like deeper stuff. I feel like Naruto would try to preserve his cultures and clans (he does in way ig in boruto but I barely seen that anime and that’s a whole other discussion with how clans are treated)

And in a way I guess it’s the most realistic part of Naruto like yea the ppl in charge might give a nod in acknowledgement of how they were bystanders and that the system failed ppl (if they even go as far as to accept that) it’s just to make the ppl they exploit/ed shut up and be happy that they were even seen in the first place (working class, blm, Palestine, Native Americans etc)

But god do I wish Naruto dived into the isolation of the lack of culture or even the lack of your own ppl can have.

first of all thank you for your support and engagement, it gives joy. feel free to yell at me whenever, i have a naruto so im used to it.

this is also something that used to upset me and now just frustrates me. i technically wasnt the last uchiha until after the war, but itachi and i couldnt communicate, madara cut ties with the clan, and just like me obito left the village as a child. one of the worst things about the genocide was this crushing anxiety of "what will become of our history?" i was old enough to have pride in the concept of "uchiha" but too young to have a meaningful understanding of it. and i guess deep down thats what contributed to my steady depersonalization and increasing franticness-- i knew there was really nothing i could do to preserve my clan so at least i needed to preserve their honour (and this was also why i understand itachi's reasons for not sharing the truth).

all this to say, my heart breaks for naruto because he doesnt even know what he doesnt know. and like you said, thats mostly a function of how konoha chose to operate. i still dont understand why they couldnt at least tell naruto about his mom. i dont understand why jiraiya didnt come back to teach him sealing. but i do know why and its because the shinobi system works best if you dont see yourself as an individual first. everything you are and have needs to belong to the state, and if it doesnt, then they will eliminate it. konoha took advantage of the genocide in uzushio to essentially traffic their women and then say there was "friendship" between the two villages...then do nothing to preserve the uzumaki or uzushio history. disgusting.

youre making sense. ive actually thought that naruto's case is similar to children from asia who were trafficked and brought to western countries post-war, completely removed from their culture and often neglected and abused for a culture they couldnt even own. i think the uchiha are a bit similar to african americans given the systematic lack of consideration for contributions to the development of society, the war between respectability/assimilation and self-determination/anti-discrimination, and like you said the commodification and demonization of culture. and i do agree with you about naruto, but i think it also helps him sometimes. for better or for worse hes...simple. he doesnt think too much about things he doesnt know, and that helps him get through his days with less of a load. he does have his bad days, where hes...lost, but if he were any other way he wouldnt be naruto. luckily the boruto versions of us arent real, but even then i think they make sense given what they were trying to accomplish with that show (ie. dumb down everything for the Manly Men who didnt get what was happening the first time).

when i was traveling after the war i did try to do some preliminary investigation into existing uzumaki refugees and diaspora, but it was a bit difficult though due to their history. ive been thinking about putting together an extended campaign and mission for us to reunify the uzumaki, for his birthday. i just need to figure out how best to go about it. keep it a secret between us.

[zombiebastian]

Introduction

My name is Sebastian and this blog will mainly be about my artworks (although I occasionally will probably post things like character headcanons or random character analysis essays) I draw a lot of stuff but mainly fanart of my favourite shows, characters and video games such as:

Beavis and Butthead

Jojos Bizarre Adventure

Resident Evil

Gorillaz

Sally Face

Sonic The Hedgehog

My Little Pony

South Park

Alice Madness Returns

Sabrina: Secrets Of A Teenage Witch (2014)

Attack On Titan

Street Fighter

Black Butler

Highschool DXD

Helluva Boss

Hazbin Hotel

Death Note

Saw (I don't draw much fanart of Saw either but again this may change

What else am I gonna be doing? Well I really like Halloween and I may draw some halloween themed stuff even when its not October, I'm the type of guy who suddenly gets into the Christmas and Halloween spirit when its not that time of year yet, I especially like zombies and vampires

Rules about comissions

If you want to commission an artwork from me that's totally okay as long as my asks are open, but here are the rules

I will not draw anything too explicit like hardcore s3xual activities, I will draw things that are risqué like characters in revealing clothing or suggestive flirting, but if it involves nudity, intercourse or anything like that then I will not do so, if you're not sure about something you'd like to commission just ask in your... Well ask

I will draw gore but it will be mainly cartoony, and I'm a bit iffy when it comes to stuff involving torture, when I draw gore I mainly do zombie or Frankenstein's monster type creatures and not people being tortured or murdered

You don't need to pay me, I'm not interested in money this is all just for fun

I do draw ships, even most of the ones I don't agree with. However if the ship is illegal (sibling x sibling, adult x child, stuff like that) I'm not comfortable drawing it, I'm not big on the whole "anti-proship" thing (yeah its gross but at the end of the day I don't get too pissy about fictional characters, when I see proship content I just ignore it, if you are a proshipper yourself I don't care, what am I gonna do? Send you stupid death threats when in real life I can't even handle ordering food by myself without having a seizure?) but still I don't really want to draw that stuff

DNI

I think most DNI lists are a bit stupid because unless you block people it doesn't really stop anyone from interacting with you, for example if you put "DNI racists" I understand not wanting those types of people interacting with you but its not gonna magically stop a racist person from associating with your posts, if you see someone saying something racist or something you think is discriminatory just block them, in fact if you put DNI in your bio they'll probably want to interact even more just to troll you

However, I'm using this as a time to talk about something I do not want to see on my blog, politics, talk about it on your blog if you want, even if I didn't want you to talk about politics at all its not like I could stop you, but don't come onto my blog spewing political crap in my comments or asks

I do not care what your political views are if you're a leftist or a conservative or whatever, I hate all of it when I'm just trying to have fun on here. So please, no going on about how much you hate Trump, how society isn't fair to certain groups of people, the latest controversial JK Rowling tweet or whats going on in Palestine and Israel, I'll worry about all that when I'm not in a mood to draw stuff and have fun

About me

Well I don't really want to talk about anything too personal here like my romantic or sexual preferences, but here are some things I am alright talking about

I have autism, but I don't think this makes me special or anything like that, yes autism does make me quite different from most people but that is okay and I wouldn't be the person who I am today without it. I'm also not one to list my mental illnesses and disabilities but I'm just putting autism here in case another autistic person is reading and wants to know they're not alone

I have a lot of interests but you already know that

My favourite colour is green

My favourite YouTubers are DanTDM, Stampylonghead, Markiplier, Kub scoutz, LaurenZside, Bijuu Mike SML (Super Mario Logan), Memeulous, Saberspark, Daz Games Phantomstrider, Superhorrorbro, Penguinz0 and Tuv

I'm a guy, but you've probably figured that out as well because Sebastian is a more masculine name

I am a brony

Ever since I read it when I was 11, my favourite book is Holes by Louis Sachar

Some of my other favourite music artists (apart from Gorillaz) are 6arelyhuman, Lady Gaga, Tuv (ik he is one of my favourite YouTubers but he does music too), Michael Jackson, Alan Walker (mainly because of nostalgia), Melanie Martinez and The Living Tombstone

I also like songs/soundtrack from movies/musicals like The Hunchback Of Notre Dame, The Little Mermaid, Labyrinth, Anastasia, The Lion King, Mulan, Tangled, Aladdin, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Heathers and Little Shop Of Horrors

Despite many of my favourite movies being Disney movies, I hate modern Disney with their stupid remakes and dumb modern movies, heck they couldn't even get their 100th anniversary right, what kind of universe are we living in where a Disney movie is beaten by an Adam Sandler film?!

My favourite Beavis and Butthead character is Butthead

My favourite Jojos Bizzare Adventure character is Dio Brando

My favourite Resident Evil character is Leon S Kennedy

My favourite Gorillaz band member is Murdoc Niccals

My favourite Sally Face character is Sal Fisher

My favourite Sonic The Hedgehog character is Shadow

My favourite My Little Pony character is Fluttershy (in the Equestria Girls universe my favourite is Sunset Shimmer tho)

My favourite South Park characters are Kenny McCormick, Butters Stotch and Timmy Burch

My favourite Alice Madness Returns character is Alice Liddell

My favourite Sabrina: Secrets Of A Teenage Witch (2014) character is Shinji

My favourite Street Fighter character is Chun Li

My favourite Black Butler character is Sebastian Michaelis (guess why, lmao)

My favourite Highschool DXD character is Asia Argento

My favourite Helluva Boss character is Stolas

My favourite Hazbin Hotel character is Angel Dust

My favourite Death Note character is L

My favourite Saw character is Adam Stanheight (aka very fucking confused)

Anyways

Thanks for reading my weird introduction, I appreciate it and even if you don't want to commission anything or stick around thats totally fine, I wish you well mate

[esther-dot]

I feel very conflicted and I know I’ll get hate if I post this on my blog but I just want feedback. I loved D for years after watching the show until season 8 came out and I felt betrayed. I thought it was out of character. I wanted happy romantic J x D. I saw myself in D. I’ve read the books at long last over the past year and I know I have confirmation bias. I love Sansa too. And I see myself in her as well. Deep down I know that I am far more like book!Sansa than I am like the character D really is and that the D in my head is not truly who the character is. I want to love Jonsa. I think that could be such a happy end for Sansa and I want to want that (that being specifically Jonsa; of course I want a happy end for her). But I don’t know how to shake my attachment to D and the character I want her to be. I can’t let go and stop projecting despite consciously being aware that she is not truly very much like me at all. I think perhaps because Sansa’s arc has not yet had as much direct payoff. She has not yet been able to claim power in the way D has and I think thus identifying myself with her may cast a light on uncomfortable feelings of helplessness within myself. But I’m not really sure. All I know is that logically I wish for Sansa to be my favorite and I want to love Jonsa instead of JxD and I know Sansa is quite a bit like me but I just can’t seem to embrace that. I’m not sure if I am looking for any sort of advice or wisdom or perhaps just wanting to put my thoughts out there. I’m curious about anything at all that you might have to say

I have my opinions and preferences, but there’s a difference between emotionally connecting and intellectually engaging. I’ve read loads of classic novels because I want to know what they say, why they matter, but I often fail to find them personally meaningful. That’s simply due to life experience which is why certain things resonate with me or don’t. I’ve found, none of us read the same novel, even if we agree on certain aspects or characters, there’s always something else that hits us differently. That’s not an indictment or vindication of a person because I’ve revisited books years later and my response is wildly different.

The book didn’t change, life changed me so I read it differently this time around. That's a good thing to bear in mind when we're talking about the same series for years on end, there's room for us to evolve our stances because we're changing. I leave room for that with others, I permit myself the same understanding. I hope you do that for yourself too!

Also, my sensibilities aren’t Martin’s, so even if I make arguments about why a certain thing shouldn’t/should happen, I know it still might or might not. Jon and Dany isn’t a universally accepted pairing for no reason. And even though most of what I say about Dany I tag with “anti,” that’s just because I want people to be able to avoid it if they’d like. I don’t hate her, I have a lot of sympathy for her. I think her story is full of tragedy, so I don’t think there’s anything weird about reading the books and your heart going out to her. Many, many fans identify with her, some because they too are abuse survivors. That’s why a lot of fans connected so deeply with show Sansa as well. I was frustrated before the GoT finale because the people who argued with us about Dany were actively defending her burning people alive and denying where her story was going, but after GoT ended, I went into the Dany tag and saw a few posts by more normal fans who simply loved a girl who had inspired them and helped them in their own struggles, so I understand who she is to people even if she isn’t that to me.

I loved D for years after watching the show until season 8 came out and I felt betrayed.

This was a pretty universal sentiment, and I felt betrayed too (although for different reasons, coming from a completely different direction), so I sympathize.

Deep down I know that I am far more like book!Sansa than I am like the character D really is and that the D in my head is not truly who the character is.

I think the “problem” (not really a problem, but we’ll call it that) is that Martin wants his characters to be more than one thing. I’ve said in the past, he has quite an expansive view of what one person can encompass which means, I look at, let’s say, the Hound quite differently than many in the fandom. Every bad thing I have ever said about him is true, but there are good things about him that are true too, and Martin wants both to coexist. That’s true for Tyrion (another villain), Jaime, Theon….it’s true for Dany too. She’s even more enmeshed with good things, as more good desires, than those guys, so it’s easy to let it eclipse everything else. I’ve pointed out before that with Dany, it’s always a one-two. She “saves” people, then we discover it wasn’t salvation at all. You have to be open to questioning her to realize that though.

The way the show framed her, a lot of people saw themselves or who they wanted to be in Dany, and even now, I’ll hear people occasionally compare themselves to Dany in a positive way, because for years, she was a #girlboss. We might have a lot of skepticism around that idea now, realizing it was to hide what her story actually was, but it resonated because, who wouldn’t want to be capable of fighting injustice? Of walking into a situation and taking control of it and rectifying wrongs? The problem is, in the books, we’re presented with the reality that her methods aren’t improving things, and in the show, they mute that as much as possible. When the author is trying to show the devastation of war and the showrunners opted to glorify it, the audience is gonna have a reaction that’s no longer compatible with the original intent. For instance, Arya killing all the Freys. That’s presented as a bad ass moment, that’s their view, so why would a fan realize, “but over here vengeance / unnecessary bloodshed is bad.” It’s careless storytelling, but D&D were also dishonest too. They included certain moments to justify the ending, but undermined it so fans wouldn't track it, rewrote characters to make them obsequious to Dany. And then they drowned it all in bs interviews / commentary, loads and loads of hype and marketing....they twisted it completely out of any discernible shape. Confusion is an understandable response to such contradictory nonsense. People I'm a fan of made sense of it, predicted it, but I do think y'all were lied to by the showrunners which annoys me to no end.

But I don’t know how to shake my attachment to D and the character I want her to be.

That's love though. I've experienced this so often in real life, wanting good for someone I care about, desperately wanting them to see the self-destructive patterns they have, and not being able to get them to change anything and learning to either accept where they are/who they are, or learning, I can't accept it and ending the relationship because it wasn't healthy for me to be involved. Martin loves his villains, Tyrion is his fav, he wants you to care, that's where he'll get the tragedy in Dany's ending rather than it simply being a clear cut good vs evil ending. I think he wants us to have sympathy on both sides of the coming struggle, and to have fans see the heroic path Dany could have and watch her fail to follow it and walk down a path she didn't have to choose...it's gonna make it heart-wrenching rather than cliche. I think you may be almost just where Martin wants you.

I think perhaps because Sansa’s arc has not yet had as much direct payoff. She has not yet been able to claim power in the way D has and I think thus identifying myself with her may cast a light on uncomfortable feelings of helplessness within myself. But I’m not really sure.

Obviously, I don't know you, but from what I've seen people write about Sansa, I do think her relative powerlessness is a major detractor for fans. For some it makes her boring, for others, they despise her because they're so frustrated by her not doing something. But it's a dose of reality in this fantasy world to have a character constrained by her situation and her life dictated by her gender. I'd argue that Sansa is a more impressive character for the mercy and bravery she shows even thought she is a captive herself, but I understand that's not as thrilling as other characters' stories.

I want to love Jonsa instead of JxD

Sansa has had a few crushes which are fairly...I’ll say, detached from reality. She connects to the characters emotionally by imagining them as romantic figures, less a tangible knowing and loving the individual. It’s all very daydreamy, but mainly, she's been the object of desire for creeps. So, while I disagree with them, there is a part of me that understands why fans aren't looking for her to have an actual romance because the way it has existed in her story thus far isn't tangible for her or rewarding, and of course, there's her age. Dany on the other hand, as young as she was when this story began, has had sexual partners she loves. We say Drogo was an abusive POS, we know Daario doesn't truly care for her, so I understand, with one part of my mind, that fans are looking for her to have a mutual, sexual relationship. If you love Dany, a healthy sexual relationship feels more pressing than one for Sansa, due to past experiences. It feels more appropriate due to her age as well. So, I understand why one can have hooks for you as a fan that the next doesn't. It’s always good to remember though, while we connect to these characters as if they’re people, the author is using them to discuss ideas, and they will experience, or not experience, certain things as a result.

I feel very conflicted and I know I’ll get hate if I post this on my blog but I just want feedback.

I'd like to tell you that isn't the case, but it's probably true. I still get rude messages because I'm a Sansa fan/Jonsa, and I can't imagine a situation like yours, loving both characters and being open to Jonsa but shipping J/D, would allow you to be fully comfortable anywhere. I can't assure you that my corner of the fandom will treat you with the utmost understanding either, so I'm glad you reached out this way and felt safe coming into my inbox. I find talking about things is helpful. There isn't always an answer, but it makes me feel better, so I'm happy to read your thoughts on this even if I can't offer any advice, in the hopes it makes you feel better too. 💗

[ae-neon]

Bestie are you doing fine? Cause im quite confused as to why you’d put yourself through another sjm serie again 😭you have all my respect cause im not strong enough to be like you 🫡 but i love being a ccity and acotar hater through your blog

😭😭😭

I do it for all the haters fr (whether you like my posts just for the anti sjm satisfaction or because you realise you were sold right wing propaganda in a romantasy)

I actually felt bad since I did promise several people I'd read it then I kept dropping it in the first 3 chapters

Usually I'd post about all the issues - like I noticed some pacing and scene placement stuff that could easily be fixed - as well as some petty snarky stuff about how childish the writing can be

(most of that is going into a moots DM since idk if people wanna see me complain about small things like that)

But I think this book in particular because (while it's still secondary world fantasy) it does have a "modern" setting - the problematic elements not only feel more relevant but are also harder for sjm to hide behind vague cultural, magical and historical veils.

And honestly the amount of messages I get saying they didn't really catch a lot of the problems in ccity until they saw some of my posts at least balances out the experience

So why? A little bit of masochistic tendencies, because I promised someone I would and because I don't think sjm deserves to get away with the heinous shit she slips into her books and unfortunately I have to actually consume the content to criticise it

I don't even know if I wrote this in a coherent way, my brain is a little scrambled rn

[wondercourse]

Hi. Excuse an anecdote, I just started thinking about something related to my fucking rollercoaster of an experience re: being Wonder. This isn't going to really have a point more than just being me sharing my experiences and thoughts.

Something weird that I'm realizing is that…I think the people I used to spend time with (online, in syscourse spaces) in high school would genuinely hate to see me not only openly questioning the nature of the plurality of a part of my system, but doing so in a way that's not fearful of it possibly not being traumagenic.

I definitely was, at first, because I am always learning. Even going into this account having been pro-"stop dehumanizing people into their stances", I was still learning. I am still learning. I still have a lot to learn. I was a hardcore anti-endo, and in the spaces I was in, your worth was pretty much determined by if you were being a system "right". Even after leaving these spaces, I carried these ideas with me subconsciously.

I kept thinking about how it'd affect how people saw me and the legitimacy of my words. I made a post around when I first made this blog about how identifying this layer as quoigenic—a term that I still vibe with but choose not to use for reasons mentioned later—meant that people were labeling me in their heads, and I claimed that it didn't bother me.

It did. Not as much as it would've when I was in high school (god, I should NOT have been involved in syscourse back then, still being in an actively traumatizing situation was not doing me any favors), but it did.

This isn't to say that I've completely solved the problem. I spent six years in echo chambers, being told that the experience I'm having right now made people inherent enemies to those with CDDs. There are even people who, alarmingly, think that traumagenic systems who are pro-endo (or lean that way) are just claiming such so they can get in with the antis and change their opinions—which, by the way, is a take I saw TODAY. Changing one's stance is already scary enough as is. Finding out that you could also, in part, be the antithesis of something you believed for half a decade? That these parts of you could be tge "enemy" of your own disorder, in that outdated view? Yikes!

However, the discovery of Wonder, the reaction of my treatment team to Wonder, and learning more about the infinite nuance of plurality as it relates to CDDs through this has made me realize that it doesn't matter what people think of me or my situation. Because…it's mine. And it is what it is.

I'm slowly but surely gaining confidence in the worth of my words within syscourse and sysconversation. In the background, there's a little bit of trying to figure out what's going on with us as Wonder, but it's in less of a "HOLY SHIT WHAT IF THIS ISN'T TRAUMAGENIC?!" way and more of a "Well, we're here, and we're gonna be here. So we'll treat ourselves like we're here" way that my therapist has also adopted (I do have a DID diagnosis and I'm in treatment for it). Which has led to me discovering so much nuance to my experience that where I wanted to label it before, I feel like now it might not be able to be labeled at all. And I don't really want to. I'm me! We're me! We're Wonder! And that's pretty cool on its own.

Like I said, this ramble, like…doesn't really have a point. Maybe just to put my experience out there. I guess the three main takeaways are this:

People can and do change, but a part of that is not being bombarded with information and being given the space to form their own opinion and then find people to discuss it with.

Your form of plurality and/or syscourse stance do not define your worth.

Take syscovery of any kind at your own pace. Especially if it's new to you. You don't have to rush to the answers (in fact I've found that both in and outside of the CDD context they come easier if you don't brute force them).

You're you (or perhaps even y'all)! That's pretty cool. I hope you're having a nice day.

Yeah! Rambles over, I'm gonna go make dinner. :3

[sophieinwonderland]

hey im endo neutral before you go off on one, but just came in here to say triggering people's psychosis is cringe and fail, so is triggering abandonment/attachment issues, so is going against a group of highly traumatised indivoduals (cause lets face it thats exactly what you did, regardless of whether they accept you or not or whether you think theyre "bigoted" or not) and ALSO you really do not give pro endos a good look and maybe you should like reevaluate what you post or think for more than like three seconds before hitting post (literally anyone could have seen how that post would be incredibly triggering). i look through your blog every once in a while to look at all the papers you post and all your arguments cause i like having a nuanced view and i understand it feels shitty for people to not believe in an integral part of you - i have the same thing when it comes to my religion but i dont fucking go around telling non believers im gonna take everything they love away from them because im not an asshole? have a day <3

I'm just curious... is there a group actively identifying as anti-[your religion]?

Do you have to regularly deal with non-believers coming into your religious spaces just to tell you that your religion isn't real and that you're faking your religious experiences?

How many times have you been told to kill yourself because of your religion?

When was the last time you saw someone say cyberbullying needed to be brought back specifically to bully people with your religion?

When you introduce people to your religion, are the non-believers accusing you of "grooming" them?

Do you want to know something? I don't actually care if people believe in me or not. That vast majority of people don't know that tulpas exist because it's still pretty niche.

That's fine. They can be taught later.

Other people people are aware of bits and pieces but don't get involved and don't believe either. They have their beliefs and keep those to themselves. I can respect that.

These people aren't anti-endos.

But then you have a hate group who have made it part of their identity to spread constant hate and disinformation about us. These are not simply "non-believers." This a group that is united solely by their hatred of us.

And this is probably more controversial in the pro-endo community, but I don’t even mind the "endogenics are all traumagenics in denial" people, in theory. As long as they're respectful and aren't actively spreading hate or standing with those who do.

I say in theory though because practically every one I've actually encountered is still gatekeeping space and resources. And that somehow makes it even worse to me because while disbelieving in endogenic plurality is ignorant, even if willfully ignorant, believing we're confused trauma survivors in denial and still treating us like shit and gatekeeping terms means they're just knowingly hurting other trauma survivors.

Don't you dare try to frame this as me simply going after people for not believing me.