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un-beel-ievable · 3 years

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Obey Me! Headcanons - The Demon Brothers react to a MC who owns a golden retriever 🐕

Author’s note: I'm home :3 Feel free to reblog, but please do not repost!! If you enjoy my writing, do leave me a like and/or a comment (and follow me to see similar content in the future :D)!

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Lucifer ☕

• When your dog first bounds over to greet Lucifer, it’s difficult to tell if the eldest born is a fan of your four-legged pal or not. The Avatar of Pride scrutinizes the ball of fluff as if he were a judge on a dog show —all the while as your dog vibrates impatiently by the front door with a tennis ball in its mouth. Perhaps it senses the need to be on its best behaviour if it’s to impress Lucifer.

• “A pet is a responsibility, not a novelty. I sincerely hope that you thought long and hard about the obligations of a pet owner before you went ahead with your decision to adopt. That being said, you appear to be doing quite well with your four-legged companion —they’re very well behaved. I have absolutely no qualms with you taking over Cerberus’s care when you return to the House of Lamentation; clearly you’d manage much more elegantly than my brothers. Perhaps Cerberus would enjoy the company of your charming pooch as well…”

• So Lucifer does like your dog. Not an entirely surprising revelation, if you’ve seen how he behaves around Cerberus in private. The strict no-nonsense archdemon turns into the softest dog owner that you’d ever have the pleasure of meeting; he’s all ear scritches and belly rubs. By the end of his visit, your dog is blissfully rolling on the carpet by Lucifer’s feet as the Avatar of Pride informs it over and over again that it is indeed “a good dog”.

• Perhaps you’ll even catch the small —but genuine— smile twitching at the corners of Lucifer’s lips as he does so.

Mammon 💳:

• In hindsight, perhaps giving Mammon a heads up about the presence of your pooch would have been a good idea.

• Despite your numerous attempts to reassure Mammon that the furry ball of enthusiasm barreling towards him is a Good Dog™, the terrified shriek that escapes the Avatar of Greed is shrill and ear-splitting enough to shatter your windows (Metaphorically speaking, of course. Rest assured, no windows were harmed in the writing of this headcanon.). When your dog leaps at him to nudge its head into his hand for scritches™ and headpats™, Mammon’s life flashes before his eyes. The only image that he can bring to mind before he passes out cold on your carpet is Cerberus’s terrifying snarl.

• When Mammon comes to, your dog is sitting on his chest —looking concerned and suitably chastised for accidentally scaring the living daylights out of the demon. (Even though Mammon refuses to come clean about how terrified he was. “The great Mammon? Afraid of a lil’ dog? W-What...What are ya talkin’ about? I wasn’t scared!”) The events that occurred over the last couple of minutes play on a loop in Mammon's mind. It finally dawns on him that your dog isn’t the ferocious beast that his imagination had conjured up, and his cheeks flush scarlet.

• Please give your demon a hug. I think he needs one. Or several.

Leviathan 🎮:

• If Leviathan had a pet ranking system, Henry 1.0 and Henry 2.0 would always claim the highest spots possible —the S-tiered, 5-star gods of the pet world. No golden retriever could ever worm its way to the top and snatch his love for them from under his feet. Sorry. But your dog is pretty cute, he’ll give you that.

• Too cute, maybe. Hey...um...you don’t love your dog more than you love him, right? What? Him, the Avatar of Envy, jealous? No! Of course not! Why would you make such an outrageous assumption? He’s not jealous —an adorable fluff ball of enthusiasm for the outdoors and joy is a way better than an icky otaku, after all. Leviathan doesn’t blame you for choosing your dog over him. Any sane individual would do the same...

• When you finally manage to reassure your demon that your dog is in no way competition for the affection that you hold for him, —he’ll always be your favourite demon, even if you have a dog. Even if you have a hundred dogs. Nothing is going to change that— he begins looking at your pooch in a different light. That’s right —as a potential cosplay partner. There’s this new anime that’s been released recently...Levi was wondering if you had heard of it? It’s titled: My Partner Is The Proud Owner Of A Golden Retriever And I’m An Otaku Who Enjoys The Simple Pleasure Of Collecting Merchandise and Cosplaying. One of the main characters happens to own a golden retriever as well, and if you’re willing to give him your blessing (the irony, I know), perhaps you’d lend him your pooch for an afternoon of cosplay and photography?

Satan 📚:

• Satan is a cultured demon who enjoys the company of four-legged companions, but he’s admittedly a fan of felines...not canines. Still, he prides himself on keeping an open mind towards new experiences, so he agrees to spend an afternoon with you and your dog (Even though he’d much rather be attending the opening day ceremony of the Devildom’s newest cat cafe. The things he does for love.).

• He performs some through research before meeting your dog for the first time; spending afternoon after afternoon in the sanctuary of his room reading about dogs and how to care for them. No number of books could prepare him for the real thing, however. When Satan first comes over to spend the afternoon in your home, he’s stiff and awkward —unsure of what to do with a dog. He ends up spending the first hour on your couch, sipping tea and spouting facts about golden retrievers.

• Show him the rope that your dog enjoys playing tug-of-war with, or the tennis ball that it insists on carrying in its jaws everywhere it goes. It takes a while for Satan to warm up to your pooch, but he’ll gradually learn to love —or at the very least, tolerate— your canine companion, even though he still firmly believes in the superiority of cats. Speaking of which, you’d accompany him on a date to that new cat cafe, right?

Asmodeus 💋:

• Oh! Your golden retriever is absolutely adorable! And gorgeous too —albeit not as beautiful as him, but that’s to be expected. There’s not a single individual in all of the three realms that could match up to his beauty. And your dog has such luscious fur too...dear Diavolo, he’d kill to have a haircare routine that’s as effective on his locks.

• Would you be willing to take a photo of him posing with your pooch? It’s for his Devilgram followers, of course —such beauty must be shared with the world, no? You’re not entirely sure if Asmo’s referring to his beauty, your dog’s beauty, or the shared, collective beauty of him and your dog. It doesn’t particularly matter. The two (three?) of you end up spending the entire afternoon orchestrating an impromptu photoshoot, and then spending the evening editing the photographs from said shoot for Devilgram.

• Generally gets along with your four-legged companion like a house on fire. There’s just one, itsy-bitsy issue.

• Your dog sheds. A ton. No matter how often you brush its fur, or how many boundaries you set about it not being allowed on the furniture, it seems determined to shed every carpet, sofa and bed that you own. Asmo never stops whining about the copious amounts of fur that now decorate every article of clothing he owns, but at least your dog seems happy to be able to leave its mark —on Asmo’s ensembles, of course, but also his heart.

Beelzebub 🍔:

• Corporate has asked you to find the difference between this picture and this picture—

• Asmo gets along well with your dog. Beel gets along with your dog even better. As one of the few only brothers who’s willing to spend any amount of time with Cerberus (granted, most of the time he’s only doing so because he’s been promised free food), Beel has grown into quite the dog lover. Your dog seems thrilled to be in the company of someone who appears to wholeheartedly enjoy its company —your dog is thrilled by the company of anyone who’s willing to give it their time of day, but still— and Beelzebub is thrilled to be in the company of a four-legged companion who appears to wholeheartedly enjoy his company. Beel is happy to spend whole afternoons playing with your dog...interspaced with the occasional snack break, of course.

• Speaking of which, Beel very much struggles with not giving into your golden retriever’s extremely convincing puppy dog eyes. Objectively, he knows that giving your dog human (or demon) food is a terrible idea —the last thing he wants is to be the reason that your dog has to take a trip to the vet. But your dog is so cute! And it’s looking at his food with such an intense longing in its eyes...Beel can relate to that. Surely a little nibble wouldn’t hurt…

• When you find yourself having to tell Beel off, suddenly you find yourself at the receiving end of 2 sets of puppy dog eyes; both Beel and your pupper are very sorry. They swear it’ll never happen again! Please don’t be upset…

• How are you supposed to stay mad at them?

Belphegor 🛏:

• ...listen.

• It’s not that he hates dogs. Honestly! He likes dogs as much as the next demon! But they can be loud and yappy and so incredibly energetic, and your golden retriever is more hyper than most. It always wants to go on walks, or play fetch, or make him throw its favourite tennis ball over and over again but refuse to hand it over so he has to engage in a slobbery game of tug-of-war to steal the ball from it —it’s just too much for the Avatar of Sloth. Just watching your dog zip across the room in a display of its endless amounts of energy is enough to tire Belphie out...is playtime over yet? He just wants to take a nap.

• Makes multiple attempts to talk you into allowing Beel to look after your dog. Just for an afternoon! His twin certainly has the energy to keep your hyperactive pup entertained for the whole day, and since you can be assured that your dog is well taken care of, perhaps the two of you could finally stay inside for once and take a nice, long nap. It’s been too long since he’s gotten to hold you in his arms…

• By the time Beel returns your dog to you, it’s all tuckered out from its day of adventures. As you’re thanking Beel for looking after your dog for the day, you catch him chuckling softly at something over your shoulder —Belphie and your furry friend, dozing off together on the couch. They appear to finally be getting along.

BONUS: I'm still not terribly comfortable with adding the (former) undatables to my writing repertoire, but my partner happens to be very fond of the demon butler...and I happen to be very fond of them. So just this once, just to see how it goes...

Barbatos 🍵:

• Oh? So this is the sweet bundle of fur that he’s heard so much about. It’s a pleasure to meet them at long last. Barbatos has always been fond of dogs, and your dog is quite an endearing creature to say the least...it actually reminds Barbatos of Cerberus when he was a puppy. How time flies.

• Treats your dog as if it were an esteemed guest of the castle. As long as Barbatos is around, you needn’t lift a finger when it comes to the care of your beloved pet. Keeping your dog fed and watered? Barbatos has it covered; the butler seems to have an in built in timer when it comes to feeding your dog —Barbatos serves its meals at exactly 6 in the morning and 6 in the evening. Not a minute early, not a minute late. When taking your dog out on walks, he carries a spare bottle of water for the sole purpose of offering it to your dog if it gets thirsty. Speaking of walks...Barbatos is more than happy to escort your pooch on walks in the event that you’re unavailable to do so yourself. Barbatos generally allows your golden to lead the way on their excursions, and is content with following along behind it to keep it out of trouble for however long it wishes to remain outdoors. If it were to tire itself out, Barbatos takes your dog into his arms and carries it the rest of the way home.

• Your pooch becomes very spoiled very quickly. It’s unclear if you’ve gained a butler...or if your dog has.

#obey me shall we date #obey me game #obey me headcanons #obey me shall we date headcanons #headcanons #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me barbatos

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sugar-petals · 4 years

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Baekhyun Doms You: Ending Up Laughing

↳⎡NOTE.⎦thought this’d be an interesting concept & a different side to smut: what if you try things out and it’s both not your thing? w/ a humorous twist and subby bf moments sprinkled in 😄

♡ words. 4k

+ tags ⚠️ pwp hc, bondage, throatfucking, graphic, cum play, unsafe/clumsy practice: do not recreate, degradation, biting, masochist bbh, domme!reader switches unsuccessfully, whips, hair-pulling

imagine that. a wide-eyed baekhyun pacing and tiptoeing in front of your toy shelf, trying to pick a riding crop he fancies. it takes five minutes and several ‘uhh, ohh’ confused puppy noises until he’s able to decide which one he’s taking.

...literally even if he knows exactly which one does what. you’ve used all of them on him.

meanwhile, you take three seconds flat to pull out one that fits your mood and proceed to edge the living shit out of him. yes, without literal further ado. teasing his dick and marking his thighs and doing all kinds of delicious things.

he’s still going back and forth in his head without having even started out. cutely tapping and swaying from one foot to the other.

it’s like he’s back to school. priceless.

what’s even more hilarious: baekhyun practices random mean facial expressions while trying to decide. he doesn’t seem to be sure what character he’s going for. it feels like he’s rehearsing for a concert or photoshoot, even. absolutely fascinating to watch.

i mean he’s absolutely photogenic no doubt about that but

you’re sitting on the bed waiting naked like okay is this gonna be william shakespeare deluxe or what is kyoong channelling over there

“um... i think i got it! this one, okay? i’m ready!”

finally he walks over, strutting with his nose in the air and his eyes glaring, muscles tense, a mysterious bad boy charm about him, whip ready to sting, lips tight and punitive...

....and hits his pinky toe on the bed

oh the pain

great master baekhyun flops headfirst into the sheets processing the existential cruelty of bedpost pinewood and needs head pats to recover

lots of head pats

at least twenty of them

so many head pats

more time passes until kyoong is back in character i guess

you probably could have listened to exo’s whole discography in the meantime

and knitted a rug for taemin’s new flat

anyway

baekhyun tries to act very confidently finally getting into it

adopting a sharp ‘hmph’ kind of tone

endlessly teasing your back and thighs with the riding crop

so far so good sir pinky toe

but he just goes on and on

you could actually crochet a pair of socks for chen’s daughter now that you think about it

it’s you who has to tell him to get to the point and it’s clear he’s more nervous than he pretends to show

to be fair he’s not the only one

you try to get yourself mentally ready but you find yourself giving him actual orders and even correcting his stance five times cuz he’s so wobbly on the mattress like a pupper indeed

baekhyun mumbles to himself and has a hard time fully implementing the advice on posture but tries to aim well regardless. it seems to work at first

but tragically

he ends up with a miss, hitting his own thigh rather than your ass and moans out loud

now you’re the one confused because you were waiting for the whip to come down

but nope it went elsewhere did it

you wonder how he managed to do all that furious fencing in the obsession mv with an aim like that

looks like he’s so submissive, he straight up whips himself

taking matters into his own hands is he. subs these days.

baekhyun keeps on being wobbly on the bed and looks like he ran a marathon already

may i remind you that this guy does 3-hour long concerts and can practice throughout an entire night

... you both agree to immediately scratch that completely after his next flailing strike sends the riding crop flying into his unsuspecting, non-consenting plushie collection

animal cruelty

moving on

you figure that a change of location might be a good idea

baekhyun sits you down on a chair and bashfully stores away the yeeted whip

he vows to never use a riding crop again already and his teddy bears are thankful for it

now the whole plushie village and whole china knows how you don’t do it

next up is rope

what could possibly go wrong

he practiced wrist bondage on his own ankles for five days straight, you really prepared a lot of things to test out together today

and he’s seen you tie him up over and over and over

but whatever it is that he manages to install on your arms

looks like a piece of very experimental modern art that just sold for half a million at sotheby’s

what’s supposed to be a column tie is nothing but a mere... ball

chaotic like baekhyun’s personality. not surprising at all

wait that rhymed

anyhow

even alexander the great couldn’t have cut this gordian knot of a tangly masterpiece

ironically: while baekhyun’s roughly grabbing your chin for an intense kiss... the rope casually falls apart harder than the soviet union in 1991 my loves, you ain’t ready

baekhyun takes ages to notice while he’s teasing and kissing you and ends up sweating bullets when he realizes that the sublime art fell to pieces.

sorry comrade

the fantasy knots and artistic freedom increases even more when it comes to putting a collar and leash on you

and his guy is supposed to be a dog owner? mongryong, instruct your man

baekhyun is a flustered mess trying to fasten it on you even if he tries very hard to be concentrated

maybe it’s because you’re watching him with literal hawk eyes checking every move (...hoping he learned something from you oh my). you’re not really melting into your role either, huh. the only thing melting is your pussy because baekhyun is acting so embarrassed which is the actual turn-on

if that doesn’t give you away

the leash comes off in two minutes time after baekhyun miraculously ties his own hands together with it

how the fuck did that happen

how do you even manage to do that

eager are we

after whipping his own thigh, self-domination 2.0 i guess

so whipping and bondage are off the programme

this has been the most chaotic and hazardous attempt at topping in the history of sm entertainment

and they’re literally called s and m

...humiliation is next

when you planned your session you both figured hey he’s tested and tried by exo’s lively debate culture and he might be able to pull that off

and there are no props involved so he’ll have an easy time right

life is an illusion

you find out he can’t pronounce degrading names clearly because he keeps on stuttering them. which in return makes baekhyun crack up.

carrying on the joke, you correct him every time.

“i want you to repeat after me: stupid, slutty, bitch.”

it ends up as you doing what you always do

teaching and training him while baekhyun either shyly or brattily obliges. you don’t even notice how you’re doing it but from the outside, it’s blatantly obvious.

because your brain is still feeling in domme mode, you also find yourself saying the usual things to him without thinking, even when he grabs you and gives orders. “now bend over! i’m gonna fuck your brains out.” — “okay, cutie!”

which causes baekhyun’s mean face to collapse and he snap out of his command tone immediately, snorting because it’s the last thing he expected

he tries to carry on by punishing you with an actual mouth gag and a harness he can hold onto while fucking you from behind, i mean your pussy is already wet why not

guess what’s gonna ensue

wearing a harness feels kind of strange and new so you wiggle back and forth and all over the place. like what is this, what’s happening. baekhyun’s dick is going into all kinds of directions my friends, the amusement park carousel surely inspired this fucking style right here.

and wearing a gag — there’s a way different person who needs to have this in his chatty mouth.

kai and kyungsoo’s dream would come true and yet you’re the one gagged

something ain’t right

if you’re honest. you’re feeling so weird being on the other end of punishment tonight and not being able to give him any directions. your dom brain is worrying he’s all left to his own devices trying to drive that confused dick home left and right and above and below and diagonal and crosswise.

the fuck

your poor guts my god

what’s worse: his stamina is gonna sneak up behind him and tap on his shoulder like... bro that’s enough pounding for a whole month please spare these balls from deflating please do not break this device

to which your pussy agrees in unison

how are you gonna love your bub day in day out if you’re that sore

there’s nothing more frustrating than being sore and horny with byun baekhyun at your disposal

or a knocked out boyfriend trying to generate at least a sprinkle of semen after getting completely emptied in one go

probably sleeping for three days straight

alright so the harness and gag come off fast oh dear baekhyun clears those away in a heartbeat

that’s another point off the list

the more you know

carousel cringe dicking down type of dominance... bizarre, disorderly, totally erratic, not on the agenda, worst rated on bing

comrade baekhyun keeps on apologizing for making things so messy even if he tries and tries

you’re both so puzzled because you’re used to something so different and need a water chugging pause

baekhyun hasn’t sweated this hard since doing the MAMA choreography

and your pussy has never had to provide this much lubrication at once

where on earth is both of your usual stamina what happened

if a type of sex exhausts you fast and even baekhyun’s balls are suddenly moody you just know you’re wired in the opposite way

safe to say you’re better at giving and baekhyun is better at taking

leave the multidirectional powerfucking to kai or something

and being orderly to xiumin

another rug could have been knitted my friends

moving on dot org

so, you both figure to take it easier and try to go with something he usually does in passing. you know, turning a typical baekhyun habit into something you can try out casually in bed so he can tease you.

that one should work out right?

proceed: teeth action. you seated, him positioning himself above you. after your approval baekhyun pulls your hair back to expose your neck — so he can deliciously bite into it (or so was the plan).

reality: his hand gets tangled up completely.

while he’s busy nibbling and giggling about like a lil’ bunny chomping at a carrot that turns out to be extremely ticklish herself.

in fact, you start squeaking out a wonky high pitch, startling baekhyun’s fine musical ear to the bone by the obvious atonality. did she just try to outsing my vocal range with a creaking whistle note?

mariah carey would cancel you on twitter over this one

that’s how you turn a vicious, possessive bite into an eternal meme

every time either of you go for a neck kiss, you end up imitating each other. baekhyun has immortalized himself as a nervous chomping bunny and you as the vocalist anti-christ

lord have mercy

you miss your old sex life already and it’s only been two hours

cause you see... if baekhyun gives you the chance to bite him? he needs a set of long sleeves, scarves, and an extra soft pillow to sit down on for the next two days

like, no mercy bitch

you get right down to business and ravage him and do it properly until he cums in his pants

sure, the way he uses his tongue now is definitely kinda hot mind you

baekhyun is always good with his singing equipment that doesn’t suddenly change aye

and you keep your eyes closed

but with time you notice that he starts drooling and whimpering. baekhyun’s wet mouth is out there betraying him, huh.

same with your body. your reactions give you away, body language just won’t lie. you have a damn hard time staying still. you wanna do something, you wanna touch and guide baekhyun all over.

and vice versa baekhyun keeps on glitching and doing the same thing he really became a living tumblr gif now

this whole session is just so confusing and laced with all these moments of awkwardness it’s really telling you something about yourself and mister pinky toe’s ideal dynamic

baekhyun can’t even get himself to even lightly slap you properly. and when he does, his delicate hands are just so cute. it’s as if legolas came along, scented in jasmine, elegant and fabulous like it’s a l’oreal commercial

he immediately looks concerned after he manages to do it cleanly and you admit it wasn’t really that exciting a feeling yourself. it felt more like, “um ouch, and?”

needless to say, you’re weirded out if anything, baekhyun smacking and dragging you around as a cold-as-ice dom is just a strange thing to do for both of you

like even exo’s wolf era fashion was more coherent than this carrot fuckery

and those were some of the most intense turtlenecks ever

is there really nothing dominant baekhyun can pull off. come on he’s the genius idol

actually

there’s something that does work out for once

because no rule without exceptions indeed

because hey, you can learn something anyway, it’s the whole point of you going through a list of things to try as a couple

baekhyun is good at doing the more hardcore, faster kind of fingering. who would have thought, totally surprising, revolutionary i know. but that’s where you’re both agreeing hey, there’s some untapped potential you can use for the steamier evenings you have going.

cuz wow, he can get you off with flying colors.

...only to succumb to a malfunctioning bobohu wrist

even baekhyun’s boner for your legs in latex isn’t that stiff

it’s another pause until his hand loosens up again

this poor man just can’t win

and if you’re asking oi hard domming isn’t the only thing you can do

baekhyun trying to summon his inner soft dom: surprise, same old tale. here we go again.

your boyfriend thinks he generally looks way too puppy-like to be your big ole buff daddy taking care of you. oversized sweater, fluffy hair and all.

you say to him well, it’s not that doms can’t wear casual things. but it’s true that you have to feel your role and find yourself believable. regardless of your looks, in fact.

unless your partner really enjoys you dressing up as some kind of dominant hyper-archetype? looking the part is relatively unimportant if you’re absolutely made for dominance you say

pretty eye-opening moment for him

in your roleplay, he caresses and kisses you to the point, he can approach and lead you to do this or that position, don’t be mistaken. and he’s good at making presents, he’s indulging you perfectly well and actually likes doing it. but... it still ends up being more vanilla than not a few hours in. the d/s is out the door almost automatically the longer you do it.

at the end, it leaves you with a feeling of “but err, what now? give the maid outfit to charity?”

baekhyun rubs his neck in search for something else to do, both of you staring at each other with expressions blanker than kyungsoo when a prancing chanyeol is acting up.

how did the quote go again. if you scramble for inspiration, let it be?

it’s exactly that situation when baekhyun soft doms. he can hold you tight and do his thing for a while, but the chemistry of your roles is dwindling into a question mark.

in fact. there’s an uneasy silence as if great mother suho was sitting right beside you critiquing baekhyun’s sugar daddy skills

baekhyun is rich like a motherfucker and can’t even call you ‘my innocent lil’ baby girl’ without looking like he just learned a first grade tonguetwister by heart

you did play your parts with less cracking up, but you clearly tell him that there’s still something strangely clueless and “ah, awkward” (baekhyun’s verdict in response, verbatim) in between the two of you.

when you take care of baekhyun and tuck him in, you hardly run out of ideas. it just goes on and on. even when you played through an entire scene, you both come up with things to extend the scenario because it’s so much fun. you make him a hot chocolate, massage his feet, brush his hair, do some extra light bondage with a silk ribbon around his ankles to make him feel pretty, feed him pizza, have him cuddle up in your lap, pinch his ass, and do some rimming if he’s feeling a bit hornier.

the spoiling is nice at the start, but there’s something missing. you want to lead his hands and really treat him, and do it all the time, and baekhyun really finds himself craving it as well.

baekhyun soft domming quickly turns into — well just normal loving makeouts and gestures. you kiss and touch, there’s nothing hierarchical about it, nothing mega juicy or exciting.

you just don’t get into the groove, you know. there’s nothing particular happening if you try to get into those roles. it doesn’t titillate both of you for an extended period of time, it doesn’t make you curious for more. it’s like... shrug. what about it.

when you usually dominate, you know something hits home when you think about it all day. baekhyun screaming and crying with his legs twitching pops up whenever you close your freaking eyes goddamn.

you make a note to observe whether you’re going about your daily business thinking about how you could be his innocent good girl. following his every whim, making big eyes at him or something.

result: more shaky, ruined baekhyun moaning his soul out in the highest of notes and leaking cum everywhere from getting choked and his face sat on.

daddy baekhyun has simply not crossed your mind. in fact, poor guy no chance to fit in there from the get-go. his particularly whorish, extra subby counterpart is all over your brain cells with his tongue out. and you’re very tempted to grab it between your thumb and index and spit in his mouth for some very good measure. maybe cum in it as well.

um. so there’s that. the more you know.

baekhyun figures as much himself and you try the other side of the equation. oh, oh. here comes hard dom baekhyun.

who gets you on your knees and starts a wild deepthroat session while calling you names. that’s all well and good... nope. your gag reflex decides to yeet some weird coughing facial expressions and reflex cock bites at poor baekhyun who doesn’t know what’s happening. to finish him off completely, you sneeze while having a hiccup and his dick slips out.

... you both safeword at the same time.

that cleanup has scarred you both for life. what the everloving fuck. no more impulse throatfucking in this pure christian household, then.

you’ll stick to lazy, twirling, indulgent blowjobs and the usual ruined orgasms for him — the actually planned ones, jesus christ.

like seriously. you invented a whole new language with those confused gargling noises and that wasn’t french, it was advanced level klingon. baekhyun repeats asking if you’re okay and you’re still stuck realizing oh hell, that was not pretty. off the bucket list, you like sucking him off but this style just doesn’t come natural to you.

the popsicles you could train yourself with are usually gone from the freezer within a day after getting the groceries. baekhyun is wholeheartedly addicted to them.

he loves cheating on his diet since you told him his fully cheeks are your emotional support squish and kiss pillows, so.

baekhyun rightfully insists he’s better at eating pussy the wild way in the first place — and that you have no business choking on his dick like you’re on hot ones eating the world’s spiciest whatever is trending now.

or actually... baekhyun’s dick can’t be compared to a chili pepper if we’re doing a choking analogy alright. that just doesn’t fit his promotion concept. cinnamon stick is more like it.

ever saw one of these terrible cinnamon spoon videos where reckless people try to defeat god by— anyway, you’ve seen them. that’s how you looked like trying to get your mouth fucked. i think god would actually be defeated by how far away from divine elegance that was and you’re so sorry for subjecting baekhyun to this artless display.

cinnamon is still best used in small doses. say, for garnishing a creamy cake or pie y’know.

anyway. you dished up the most butchered attempt at sexy gagging in history and so, baekhyun will preach for days how he’s the one chosen by fate to push down seven big fat inches of your strap still half asleep without even blinking.

... and that his world-class operatic breath control would probably enable him to bury his face in your pussy on mount everest. baekhyun knows that every domme would sell her soul to get a sub as skilled with breathing as him.

...and that he has the official copyright for giving quality slobbery oral with quality smudged tears. as he will demonstrate to you almost daily from then on. king of messy head and going stupid with the tongue acrobatics. ugh, the noises are amazing, too. give him a grammy for his oral sounds.

gotta leave the heavy-duty work to the experts innit.

at dinner, he also poutingly brags how he can make his spit run out of his nose while he’s sucking himself through your entire dildo collection. and blow spit bubbles. and snort his own semen off his thighs and let it drop off his tongue if he’s in a particularly slutty mood. or a creampie. jeez, baekhyun, the wolf of wallstreet is strong in him. you literally have to stop him from showing off because “hey boy, i already know! i’ve seen it last week bro it was good!”

needless to say he’s talking in essays all day because he wants things go back to normal and he doesn’t have to ask twice.

for real, your candy man with the cinnamon stick has been suffering from the love bites and has to retire his cock for two days from the bruising.

mind you. the pain he can deal with. that ain’t the problem. by all means, man. he’s a fucking masochist.

it’s actually more like... submissive you has deactivated his boner and he can’t help it. it’s not you that makes him limp, it’s more like, the klingon choking and the ton of mishaps that just don’t sit right.

baekhyun feels bad about not doing well enough to make both of you have a good time as well which is lowkey heartbreaking. you have to cheer him up with ‘now repeat after me: stupid, slutty bitch’ jokes to make him chuckle at least a bit.

cuz you gotta understand, baekhyun is very ambitious to develop his talents in all areas of life. if there’s a skill he gets stuck with and he can’t work with his potential, that’s so unusual to him.

and you say man, imagine if you were some kind of uber-talented dom. that’d still not make me sneeze any less.

if you dominate him, it feels easy to do. nothing can really ruin the mood, not even when the lube runs out (baekhyun drools enough to make anything slippery okay).

except maybe when xiumin rings on landline because he left his favorite fluffy sweater in the subway and needs to vent about it. my god that’s such a tear-jerking story i’m close to sobbing. this shit could kill literally any boner.

or when your hand cramps up after shoving your fingers down his throat and in his ass for like half an hour which should be ranked first as the saddest anime betrayal of all time but it’s justifiable and you had a lot of fun beforehand.

in other words. only the things outside of your control tend to mess with your femdom business. in and of itself, nothing can kill your vibe except a dying battery obviously.

whereas you trying submission oddly spoils the atmosphere from the inside out and provides a free cringe compilation. like without even doing much, it happens automatically.

baekhyun relishes in dramatically recounting how you both looked like true clowns attempting a rendition of overexpensive, extra tangly contemporary art bondage. hell, not even employed clowns, completely retired ones, struggling to regain their tightrope tricks from summer 1912 when harry houdini was still hot shit in town.

you say oh god, that wasn’t even worth a retired clown’s skillset, clowns work damn hard man. you’d be hardpressed to find any circus artist capable of cracking a whip onto themselves baekhyun-style and moaning out loud because it was this good. seriously. that was one for the books.

if baekhyun tried to set foot in some willy-nilly maledom porn, he’d be capable of firing himself on the first day.

at the end, you just have a good laugh, man. you agree — hey, this ain’t it, but it’s good to know at least. tried and tested, been there, done that. self-whipping and carrot-nibbling and blowjob hiccups.

if you’re both so hopeless and living up to the challenge managed to upset poor mariah carey instead of giving you a hot and steamy time, you very well know where you belong. that’s a good feeling. assuring and a confidence boost for your skills. it makes up for all the clumsiness actually.

exactly because the try-out part was an entire disaster, domming baekhyun will be even more fun, you can’t see it becoming anywhere near boring. it never really was, but now you know where your strong suits are even more so. and — what to avoid, anyway.

no more unsafe practice and teddy whipping under this roof my friend

and something to incorporate more often which is baekhyun unleashing his very creative, pianoesque fingering skills on you.

you have lots of anecdotes to rile each other up as well. or, at least, tease another a bit. your high note was too legendary not to be remembered.

baekhyun will use all of these things against you in a positive way if you get what i mean. he’ll say how you being so strangely vocal made him realize just how commanding and compelling your sexy time voice is when you tell him how to kneel, how to kiss, how to revere.

and you teasing him how clumsy a dom he is makes baekhyun more self-assured in his subbing abilities. he knows for a fact you’ve not once roasted him about how well he can use his pretty mouth. cuz it’s the real deal. sloppy, skilled, and eager to please. he’s damn right about that.

hitting his toes has ruined baekhyun’s whole career as a dom and he was mad at first but he did realize that beside the clumsiness, subbing just suits him well as a principle

your experience gives you even more anticipation for all the sex you will have in the future.

you already knew what you both liked. you know it even more now, it’s underlined, it’s a big relieved yes. no more cringey “daddy, daddy, choke me please!” worship. time to make his day and sit on baekhyun’s perfect face to fuck the shit out of it.

or you know, actually land a whip on his juicy boyfriend thighs and listen to those heavenly loud reactions in a dead-on pitch (he usually moans in C minor).

long story short and cinnamon sticks aside. it’s even more fun now. you just love your cute subby boy just as he is. he doesn’t have to try to be anything else or step up his game. he’s so ideal just doing what he does like a real angel.

more subby stuff: m.list + ao3

↳⎡FINAL NOTE⎦i love writing crack lmao i hope you were rolling on the floor like i did 😂 write me your favorite part in the comments so we can laugh again and buy me a ko-fi if you wanna 👍

#baekhyun smut #baekhyun #exo smut #exo #baekhyun x reader #baekhyun hc #sub!baekhyun #baekhyun crack #exo crack #dom!baekhyun #baekhyun headcanon #sub!exo #baekhyun bullet points #exo hc #exo headcanons

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nishaapologist · 3 years

Text

THE WORK OF WOLVES - MASTERPOST

The new Overboss, in Nisha's mind, is too young to be as monstrous as she is; she looks like some young lamb, her flesh soft and tender under the harsh edge of a blade, and Nisha doesn't expect her to survive the cruelty of their world, bathed in blood and steel as it is. Yet, when she slaughters Colter with all the skill of an abattoir butcher, and smiles as brightly as a machete's glint in the light, it's clear there's more behind those big dark eyes than anyone could ever come to expect.

By their fruits shall ye know them, and all that.

Even hundreds of years after the bombs turned back the clock on what-once-was America, people still often underestimate the ambitions of dark-eyed little girls with a taste for poor behaviour. Andrea Jiménez intends to prove she’s the worst of them all.

A Fallout 4/Nuka-World DLC series about raiders getting everything they ever wanted, and maybe a little bit more. Featuring Nisha/f!Overboss, he/him lesbians, and a whole damn amusement park of queer people. It's going to be a great summer season of 2287.

FICS (full length):

The Work of Wolves (ongoing)

FICS (short length):

Welcome to Flavourtown

Kinktober 2022

ART:

Rottweiler Bandogge (your local Pack dog breeder)

A Quadruplet of Rotts

Andrea Jiménez Concepts

Nisha Concepts

There They Go, Kidnapping Baby Molerats Again

I'm Something of an Asshole

Nisha, Local Menace

Andrea, Nisha, Mason (1920x1080 wallpapers)

With Arms Like Those, Who Needs Knives?

Itty Bitty Overboss

The Work of Wolves, Cover Art

Nisha's Fat T*ts

S U C C (i'm sorry i draw memes sometimes)

so true best tits :)

Andy

Got Me Confused

i got worms :(

Andy Andy Andy

The Kill and Grill

Bite Bite

Tierney

+3 Charisma Drip

Thonkin' (i'm still drawing memes my bad)

Scalpel

The Work of Wolves, Cover Art V2

heehoo pupper :3

Cut Here

Lamb, She-Wolf, Overboss, Warlord

Batch of Andys

Valentine's 2022

Nisha's Haircut

Andy's Hangout

Local Twink

Open Jacket

👀

Arf

Andy + Alejo

do you see this shit alejo

Sorry Girls

GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS

cover them up, slut

Nukacade

Stupid Boy

Gender Envy

Nisha, Local Menace V2

Graffiti

Who Would Win?

Fun With Knives

The Jiménez Twins (2078 AU)

Itty Bitty Nisha

Lame-Ass Boyfriend

Cigars

Off The Leash

Nisha, Growing Up

Playing With Dolls

Bestial Warmonger

Nuka-Express

THE FOLLOWING IS PURE FICTION

negotiations

ART PART II:

60: Feeling Lucky? 61: Andrea Jiménez Concepts, Redrawn 62: Andrea, Nisha, Mason: Redrawn (1920 x 1080 wallpapers) 63: Andy, Getting Older 64: YOUR OVERBOSS NEEDS YOU! (Fallout Roleplaying) 65: Perfect Seat 66: F.B.I (Female Body Inspector)

MISC. STUFF:

The Work of Wolves tag

Cover art V1/V2

Andrea + Friends: Fallout Roleplaying stickers/emojis

TESTIMONIALS:

"I love these little murder gremlins. Your characterization remains spot on. Great job murph ily"

"Reading this makes me regret short-changing the disciples at every turn. But it's really nice to see the Commonwealth's resident murder queen unrestricted loathing. This is superb."

"got a VERY strong opening on andy's hot girl summer here i think id like to dip her low and kiss her so sweetly in the moonlight"

"ha, gay."

"They're gonna kiss while just covered in blood aren't they?"

"you can't catch me kinky thoughts!!! I am too fast!!!"

"This? THIS? Is the shit I've been looking, PRAYING, for, and oh boy, have I found it. JOLY.GOOD.SHOW."

[you can help add more testimonials by commenting on AO3!]

NOTES:

The Sole Survivor, aka Nate/Nora, does NOT show up in this series in any meaningful capacity. Also, pretty much every character unless implied/mentioned otherwise is queer, and the vast majority of the Pack are nonbinary because they tripped over and spilled all the gender juice. Whoops.

Given the nature of this content and subject matter, there are standing content warnings for explicit and bloody violence, drug use, alcohol abuse, mentions/scenes of murder/torture/suicide, sexual content (severity of which will be marked ahead of time), extremely bad language all the time, and people making bad decisions, intentionally, for profit. There are also tags and warnings for individual chapters on AO3.

Finally, this fic updates in batches because I am a chronic double-drafter, so there will be hiatuses between batches whilst I build a buffer! However, when chapters do go up, they will be (more or less) posted every Saturday at 4pm GMT (or 4pm BST if you're reading this between March and October), so look out for that!

If you like my fic or my art, why not leave some kudos, drop a comment, and reblog? It means the world to me! ♥️

#fallout #the work of wolves #masterpost #here it is! not a ton of content yet but since it's a Thing now #it gets a masterpost sdfghjsdfjh #EDIT: it has content now lmao #EDIT EDIT: it has a LOT of content now

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emeraldtawny · 5 years

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Obey Me Suitors as Cats

Me: you should write a proper fic for this new game that has overtaken your life. Also me: [crack marching band storms through my brain] ...kitties.

Enjoy these dumb headcanons of the demons as the pet embodiment of demons uwu~

Lucifer

Not a cuddly kitty. Certain conditions must be met before you even think of stretching your hand towards him.

He prefers approaching you first, sitting next to your feet and looking up at you expectantly as if demanding your attention.

You two have a pattern that you follow: Lucifer will smooch his face across your hand and will allow you one stroke across his back after that. Then, he’s off.

When you’re sitting down and he knows you’ll be sitting down for a while, he likes lying across your feet and taking a little cat nap. It’s heaven on colder days with your kitty foot heater keeping your toes nice and toasty.

Has a low grumbly purr that reverberates against your feet, but he stops whenever you move your feet or coo at him. Followed by an adorable growly meow and an ear twitch.

Mammon

Simultaneously the sweetest little thing...and the biggest little shit.

He gets a few wayward claw swipes and less-than-playful nips from his brothers, so you need to watch out for him more than the others.

Because of this, he is clingy...in ALL meanings of the word.

He always craves affection and cuddles but tries to act aloof like he doesn’t want it. But when you get his ear in just the right spot, his purrs go into overdrive mode and he looks ready to flop over onto his side...before stumbling on his feet and returning to reality, then immediately acting like nothing happened.

He claws...a LOT! Lots of biscuits and bread-making so watch your thighs (and enjoy laughing at the multiple ways he gets his claws stuck in and on things).

Your nicknames for him are ‘Maomon’ and ‘Mamoomoomoo’. It’s adorable how quickly he responds to you calling him those names (in a baby voice, of course).

Leviathan

Only shows himself enough to remind you he exists and is alive and well. Otherwise, he’s like an enigma with how infrequently he shows his feline face. He only really appears for food and once-every-blue-moon cuddles.

Will only sleep on his Ruri-chan Limited Edition Collector’s Edition Pillow. Nowhere else is good enough (except your lap...sometimes.).

Not too much of a biter, but LeviaNyan will let you know when you’ve crossed your boundaries on pets.

Brings in live mice and plays with them instead of killing them first (they’re like new friends to him ;w;).

His tail is constantly twitching and he can go from pounce mode to zoomy mode in a fraction of a second.

You remember one instance where he somehow parkoured up the wall and the fridge before stopping just as suddenly as he started, his eyes the size of saucers and on high alert. The memory of it never fails to make you laugh.

Satan

Not a lap cat, but will stretch out next to you and always has some part of his feline body touching your leg in some way. It’s usually his paw and he’ll occasionally flex his foot against you (his toe beans.... ;;w;;).

You’re sometimes scared to pet him because he’s the type that’ll just suddenly turn on you and bite you after being all lovey-dovey just a second earlier. And a bite from him is never gentle.

NEVER PET HIS HEAD!!! The only exception is under the chin scritches (you might even get a rare Satan purr).

Always hisses at Lucifer when they’re too close to one another, so you need to be vigilant in ensuring they have as little interaction as possible.

Only really snuggles up for his lap-not-lap cuddles when you’re sitting on the couch reading and everything is nice and calm. He prefers it that way.

His ears twitch sweetly every time you turn a new page and you can’t help but smile.

Asmodeus

Constantly constantly grooming himself. And constantly constantly purring.

The kind of cat to lay across your laptop keyboard or lay across your arm to obstruct your view of your phone...and will keep returning no matter how many times you push him off.

Meows whenever he first sees you and then cat-gallops towards you to slink happily around your legs with loud purrs, likely tripping you up if you’re trying to walk past him.

The sole reason you have more than 13 followers on Devilgram. The single most photogenic (and photo-loving) cat; as soon as your phone is out, he’s there and playing it up for the camera.

Also, hold him in your arms like a baby. He loooves it (prime position to smooch your boobs uwu).

Beelzebub

How is this cat not fat with the amount of food he chows down on? Simple. His frequent hunting gives him enough exercise so has more room for more food.

And that means, very frequent presents in the form of birds and mice (at least he gives you dead ones, unlike Levi).

As soon as you even look in the direction of the food bowls, he bounds over and just sits there staring at you, waiting.

Only really purrs and murrs when he’s eating (not a very loud meower, and because 97% of the time his mouth is full of food when he meows, it comes out as more of a murrrr sound).

BELLY PATS!!! Especially after eating. He turns into a happy kitty puddle as you rub his belly. And he just lies there completely still, in total bliss.

Occasionally snores in his sleep and you silently giggle to yourself whenever it happens because it is the cutest thing watching your little Beel baby sleep.

Belphegor

Is always sleeping. I mean c’mon, he was MADE to be a lazy cat baby

Does little tongue bleps in his sleep, but seems to sense the exact moment you get your phone out for a photo because he’ll immediately retract the blep.

Clingy kitty who loves head pats and lap naps. But will bite you hard if you piss him off (a rare occasion, but the bite marks will remain for a few weeks).

A ragdoll baby boi that takes every single opportunity to flop onto his side (and over your lap) before purring quiet happy purrs as he lulls himself to sleep.

You occasionally like to slip your arm underneath him and balance him along the length of your arm, his legs handing down languidly. He doesn’t care 95% of the time, sometimes even falling asleep from his elevated perch.

Also enjoys watching you as you move about the house. But he’s too lazy to move and follow you so he just switches what side he’s lying on to follow you with his eyes....lazy kitty.

BONUS: Angels as Doggos (plus Solomon)

Simeon

A beautiful black Labrador. Very sweet and calm, loves a good pet session and is docile and friendly around the rowdy demon cats.

In short, a good boy™.

Luke

A little Pomeranian pupper. Yaps and bounces as he barks at the cats like they’ve cursed him with just their presence.

They hardly bat an eye, which just makes Luke bark louder. A single growl from Lucifer shuts him up in an instant.

Poor thing. The one time he’s almost the same size as them and he still gets shut down.

Solomon

The dogs’ owner. You and he share your horror stories about your pets to each other.

More often than not, you’re talking for most of the duration. I mean, have you seen the demon cats you have to look after and keep in line?

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me fanfic #obey me headcanons #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #...I promise I'll write a proper fic in time #but for now...please enjoy cats :3 #this game has taken over my life and I love these dumb demon boyos so very much uwu

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monster-bcrn · 4 years

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{ ABOUT THE MUN }

——— BASICS! ♡

NAME! ♡ Spooky! :3

PRONOUNS! ♡ she/her

ZODIAC SIGN! ♡ Pisces

TAKEN OR SINGLE! ♡ Single with puppers

——— THREE FACTS! ♡

1! ♡ Graduated with a Bachelor’s in English!

2! ♡ I. freaking. love. DINOSAURS. I can go on and on and on and on about them. Wanted to be a paleontologist when I was a kid, but the math (and college) really soured my interest in it. Still love it though, just as an amateur.

3! ♡ I literally had NO IDEA who Grundy was until someone made a joke about the Juggernaut from Thir13een Ghosts looking like him (John DeSantis would later actually play as Solomon Grundy in the finale of Smallville, and Alex Ross based the Justice Grundy design on the Juggernaut. Like....not even trying to hide it..) Watched the ‘Grundy wants Pants’ video and the rest is history. :D Years later, hardcore Grundy fan right here.

——— EXPERIENCE! ♡

PLATFORMS USED! ♡ Tumblr, Youtube

——— MUSE PREFERENCE! ♡

GENDER! ♡ I tend to prefer writing males. It’s weird because you’d think writing females would be easier, but not really. Monstrous bruiser men that can be more beast than man are my bread and butter, and I love exploring the ways they can show emotion in less than human ways. Basically, if it looks like Grundy, I’m gonna be all over them.

LEAST FAVOURITE FACE(S)! ♡ I tend to avoid faceclaims. I find them to be very difficult to cement when I have a specific look in mind for a monster. If I RP as a live-action movie character, I go with the actor’s face, otherwise, I tend to go by voice rather than face. For example, Grundy’s voice claim is leaning more towards Fred Tatasciore. I LOVE Mark Hamill’s Grundy, but his early Grundy and Fred’s Grundy are virtually identical and tend to mesh better if I lean towards Fred’s Grundy. Plus I just adore how silly and sweet that Grundy is, as well as hyper-aggressive. I mean, it’s the guy who voiced the freaking TANK from Left 4 Dead. If anyone can voice a rampaging zombie hulk, it’s Fred Tatasciore.

MULTI OR SINGLE! ♡ This is a sideblog to a single-muse blog. I tried running a multi-muse blog (and I still have one that I never use for my OCs at @shadowreapers-inc) but it’s easier to focus my attention on one character rather than many.

FLUFF / ANGST / SMUT! ♡

FLUFF: I love fluff but it’s not my go-to RP preference. That being said, I LOVE cute fluff and funny fluff and I swear Grundy just makes it so easy to be fluffy (compared to Freeze who’s literal ice and angst and peeved off all the time.)

ANGST: I LOVE ANGST. I NEED ANGST. I WANT ANGST.

SMUT: I very rarely write smut and it’s mainly on the PM. I’ll write smutty fanfic stuff, sure, but my muses can be either big prudes or extremely selective (Grundy is weird. He’s shown obvious attraction to people, and flirts with brawny guys, yet it’s almost like puppy love rather than him want to go hot and heavy. If I had to choose something somewhst heavy, it’s either him interacting with another AU Grundy, or Bizarro, since Grundy and Bizarro have been in a bromance for decades.)

PLOT / MEMES! ♡ I love plotting. I love long storied plots that twist and turn and have humor, horror, angst......just a BUNCH of stuff! Like, have an idea? HIT ME WITH IT! Chances are I’m gonna love plotting it out. XD

♡

Tagged by: @thecursedhellblazer (Thank you boo! :3) Tagging: @knighttism, @allfatherblessed, @unclecletetm, @elisethetraveller, @folcire, @akasupergirl, @dearaliceliddel, @cryomight, @lazarus-born, @gunborn, @redsleuthed, @jester-of-genocide, @lovesgctham, @cetacian, @themissingprincess, @thecatgoddessbast, @starcityvigilante, @themartlans, @ofarkhxm, @blackwingsbluedings, @sweet-tea-solly, @jcinthedance, @atrickofthetoxin, @slauhter, @shesquiinnsane, @marvelousdamsels, @theamazondiana, @amazonexile, @justiceebound, @thanagrian, @krygothite, @ofamazonia, @raininginkyxto, @notatomo, @liminalstctic, @dolceclavier, @adrenalinesaint, @fatherdamned, @theednygma, @ninelivesruined, @yellowskinnedwackyman, @chaosmultiverse, @titanicscionofthestars, @thehouseofivo, @yourfavoritesidekick, @adventurepunks (and anyone else up for this! :D)

#Christened on a Tuesday! (Memes)#Rave to the Grave (Out of Character)#>:D #TOOK FOREVER TO FINISH THIS

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punz4lyfe · 4 years

Photo

OMG, I immediately love this episode!! Must. Give. Thoughts. Now!

1. Ash, I know Riolu’s the baby of the team, so he needs all the training he can get, but c’mon man! What about Farfetch’d’s training? The dude needs his revenge too. (plus I wanna see Sirfetch’d in the anime already fite me Ash)

2. I love how the further we go down the series, the more we see Sobble smile. Augh, so precious!!

3. I’m honestly glad the battles Ash partook in to reach back up to Great Rank were off-screen. There are times where a series needs to pander less and get on to the main points, so mad props to this.

4. Oh, hi Chuck! I see you’ve got your HGSS clothes (or pants technically speaking) and you’re still as lovable as ever. That’s awesome!

5. OH MY ARCEUS!!!! Cameo of Ash’s Bayleef AND Ash’s og design!!!!! (please please please be an indication that the writers aren’t afraid of going back to Oak’s lab and showing Ash’s past mons)

6. I love how high Bea’s ranking is now. It really sets up the stakes of how a formidable rival she’ll be for Ash.

7. Pikachu vs. Hitmontop was very well done. The animation was smooth and Ash’s strategies strike again!

8. While I know some don’t like how easily Pikachu fell to Grapploct, remember that Pikachu was already tired from Hitmontop and Bea’s the same girl who defeated Korrina’s Mega Lucario in the past, so there’s that to consider. Also, that whole constraining bit was admittedly brutal.

9. Okay, can we just acknowledge Riolu running to Pikachu and carrying him back to Ash? Tha-that’s just too pure and precious for words I just can’t

10. Riolu vs. Grapploct was also well done in my book. It shows Ash not being afraid to try new things, even against tougher opponents, and when he hits his mark, he’ll catch anyone by surprise. Sure the two ending up in a draw inevitably spills out that Riolu will toast Grapploct when he evolves in a Lucario, but hey, anime’s gotta do what the anime’s gotta do I guess.

11. Speaking of Riolu and Grapploct, I ADORE his facial expressions throughout the episode. Like when Pikachu was facing Grapploct, we were shown his determination to beat it himself one day. Plus, since almost every one of Ash’s aces from the past had rivals of their own, the little pupper needed his amirite?

12. Oh hey! Unlike last time, Goh didn’t get some kind of off-screen bs unexplained win against an opponent who would logically be too skilled for him to take! I already like this episode more than the last episode with Bea!

13. The after-battle scene with the treats was great, as we got to see Bea’s fun side outside of battles and her kind attitude towards Pikachu and Riolu. After all, it should always be important to develop your rivals, something that’s either been a hit-or-miss in past regions, so seeing this was nice. I’m hungry now.

14. Goh, I love you, but a Chinchou is not something to brag about.

Overall, with great action and characterization, this episode was great! 10/10! And with the Darkest Days arc preview in toll, I see a lot more awesome episodes to come!

BRING ON THE PURE CONTENT, WRITERS!

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surveys-at-your-service · 4 years

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Survey #309

“show me how to lie - you’re getting better all the time / and turning all against one is an art that’s hard to teach.”

Have you ever played Jackbox Games? If so, which ones of their party games are your favorites? No, but I looooove watching Mark and The Boys play them on charity streams. They can make up the funniest shit. I can't recall the name of the specific one I'm thinking of... but I enjoy watching most of them. I do think one or two are boring, though. Do you have artistic friends? If so, have you got their artwork displayed? I have some very talented friends, but I don't have anything of theirs displayed somewhere. Have you ever considered pole dancing? Why/why not? No. It takes an incredible amount of strength, plus confidence I don't have. That and I'm just not into it. What's the last thing you fixed yourself? Uhhhhhhh bitch I couldn't tell ya. Are there any CDs you've held onto for sentimental reasons? No. Did you read the Barbie magazines with comics made with the actual dolls? "I didn’t know that was a real thing." <<<< Me either. What's the last thing you knitted? I've never knitted before. Who was your first online friend? Emma. :') She was the first person who joined my RP mob back in the Animal Planet forum days. Why do you take surveys? Be honest. Boredom, distraction, and sometimes I just wanna ramble about whatever. Does mail get delivered to your door or do you have a mailbox outside? Our mailbox is by the side of the road at the end of our driveway. Your doorbell rings out of the blue. What's your reaction? Let Mom answer it. I don't answer the door ever if I don't expect someone or can peek outside and don't recognize them. Are all the lamps in your home LED or other energy saving lights? I don't know. Do you prefer writing by hand or typing? Typing. I can't write very long at all before my carpal tunnel flares up. Think of one of the biggest decisions you've had to make in your life...If you made a different choice, how different would your life be now? I'd be dead, that simple. Have you ever taken a course on CPR? No. What makes you laugh most effortlessly? You can guess it pretty easily. What makes you cry most effortlessly? I make it a rule that I "can't" listen to "Eternally Yours" by Motionless In White because there hasn't been even ONE occasion where it hasn't made me cry, even when I was stupid enough to binge it because it's just a good song. I've broken that "rule" before because I do just genuinely enjoy the song, but I know the pain truly isn't worth it, so I haven't heard it in a decently long time. What is the best smell in the whole world? Cinnamon rolls, probably. My body wash is currently that kind of smell, and Jesus Christ it's the best part of showering. Do you wear a watch? No. Can you tell time from an analog clock? Yes. What a time it'll be when kids can't anymore... Is there a number or a combination of numbers that feels important to you? Only dates, but not numbers themselves. What is the most socially awkward thing you've done? *gestures at my life as a whole* Is your computer decorated in any way? No. If your old class was to have a reunion, would you attend it? No. No. I don't want to relive my high school experience; it would be too painful for me to willingly walk into. What's the worst thing that's ever happened to you? I would say "the breakup," but technically it was letting him basically own me and my every neuron of joy. Not by his will of course, but my own. I was stupid and just... handed those rights over without really realizing it. I can harp forever and ever and EVER about the importance of making sure you own yourself and your emotions. Do you ever donate money to charity? If so, which charity and why? Blah blah blah, I don't get an income, you know this. Whenever I do, I 100% plan on donating to every charity stream Mark ever hosts again, as well as some other people's. I'd love to donate to a lot of places. Would you ever want to get married? If so, why? Yes, because society has made it too instilled in me that it's just like... this ultimate validation of "forever" with your partner, even though I know you can be just as or even far more invested in your relationship without marriage. The only *true* benefit of marriage imo is for legal and financial reasons, but yeah, I still want it. Like I said, it's too deeply embedded in that brain of mine that it's a relationship goal. Why do you live the way you do? I'm not even living the way I want to, so... Have you ever abused an animal? No, and I say "fuck you" with every ounce of sincerity and loathing if you have. Do you think animals are less important than humans? If so, why? Nope. We share this earth and grew from the same roots, so what *really* makes us better? We might be smarter (generally) and more developed as the apex predator, but that does not equate to being more important than, say, even a gnat. That creature has the exact same level of rights to be here as the human species does. I could go on and on and on about this topic. How close was the last person close to you who has died? Not extremely, but she was still important to and loved by me. Grandma and I were very, very different and butted heads more than once, but her love was unconditional, and she showed boundless kindness to others. She showed a courage I see as unmatched in the face of death. I truly, deeply, in the very core of my heart hope she is at peace and experiencing all joys she ever wished for. How does death in general make you feel? Well, it depends on how I'm looking at it. I fully accept it is an inevitable phase in simply existing that none of us will ever evade, so it's not exactly terrifying to me, though of course I don't want it anytime soon. If I'm thinking about people I love dying, I definitely get sad about it and scared of that possibly eternal separation. Is there a person you absolutely loathe? If so, why do you loathe them? Not that I know personally, no. Has anyone ever told you that you're rude? If so, what caused it? No; I think I'm very mannerly, honestly. Have you ever seen a therapist? I've regularly seen therapists since I started middle school. I advocate for everyone to have one, honestly, whether you have a mental illness or not. Have you ever been homeless? In technical terms, yes, but a friend let me stay with her until Mom and I settled into a new place. Have you ever been completely broke? That's the actual story of my life. Well, not me personally considering I've never had to take care of myself financially, but my mom struggles very, very badly with this, and mind you, she's frugal. Just disgustingly underpaid when she worked, and her current status with disability isn't exactly incredibly generous. I live under her roof, so. Have you ever had a steady job? No. Have you ever needed a loan? If so, what for? Have you paid it back? Yes, for school, and no. I do NOT want to know how in debt I am with schools. Have you ever wanted to go to space? Not seriously, no. What's the weirdest thing you've ever seen or heard? I am 99.99% sure mine and Jason's old roommates were having some ~kinky~ sex once while I was alone on the couch against their bedroom. Preeeetty sure the girl was making meowing sounds. They were furries (who I want to emphasize have zero judgment from me; I actually think they're very brave and creative), so that was... something I definitely wasn't used to hearing, haha. What has been the most exciting moment of your life thus far? Probably when Mark N O T I C E D me on Tumblr by reblogging a gif I made of him and his pupper, and I LITERALLY struggled to sleep for three days lmfaoooo. How many birds can you name just by looking at them? Uhhhh a pretty decent amount, I'd say. Which birds are most common around your neighborhood? Crows, sparrows, cardinals and bluejays if you're lucky, robins... pretty basic stuff like that. What do you think is the most interesting sea creature? Octopi are absolutely fascinating with their intelligence. How do you reset your head to zero, so to speak? Take a nap. That usually works. Have you ever gone exploring an abandoned building? Yeah, I love that shit and really wish I could do it more. Bring my camera, too. Are there any foreign television shows you enjoy watching? Some animes. Do you have any clocks in your house that chime when the hour changes? Do those types of clocks annoy you? No. I actually quite like them, though. Has anyone ever let you borrow some of their music, promising you'd love it, but you really didn't? Did you lie to the person and agree, or tell the truth, that you hated it? My dad lent me his Shinedown CD once clearly without thinking I could just look up the album online, haha... He's an old clueless man, leave 'im be. But anyway, of course I listened to it for him and I enjoyed it; I especially loved "The Human Radio," "Kill Your Conscience" and "Pyro." Have you had the same doctor pretty much your whole life, or have you went to a bunch of different ones over the years? Have you ever been to the doctor thinking something was horribly wrong with you, but it turned out to be something minor? Mine has changed a few times, but I haven't had "a bunch." As for the second question, not to my recollection. Is the background on your phone a default picture, or a picture you took? What is the picture of? The lock screen is a pastel-styled list of mental health reminders: "i am strong, i am loved, i am enough." My home screen has been some adorable meerkat pups for a while, which I didn't take. What is your favorite type of print (ex: zebra, stripes, argyle)? Do you have a lot of things with this print on it? Ummmm maybe plaid? No. Are there any stores you feel uncomfortable going into (ex: if you dress girly, do you feel uncomfortable going into Hot Topic)? Are there any stores that you refuse, or just never go in to? The only situation I could think of would be a sex shop. That'd be so fuckin uncomfortable. What is your favorite brand of clothing? Is this a brand that is sort of expensive, or is it pretty affordable? I'm heavily biased towards Cloak, haha. I just support anything and everything Mark takes part it, and it's his and jacksepticeye's business. I have one shirt and it's genuinely great quality and reall comfy. I wouldn't call its products expensive, but they're not cheap, either. What person do you text the most? My mom or Sara, depending on the day. Do you have any pictures that always make you laugh, or cry? Are they digital pictures, or printed pictures? What is the significance? No. Not pictures I have anymore, at least. Have you ever eaten raw pumpkin? Omg I would never. I hate the flavor of any sort of pumpkin food. Does your car have a name? I don't have my own car, but Mom jokingly calls hers "Olivia." Who was the last person you made plans with? One of my sister's in-laws that's actually the mother of one of my closest friends contacted me to plan some family pictures. What is the rudest thing someone has done recently towards you? I can't think of anything recent. How do you feel about your hair right now? It needs to be trimmed and dyed. How fast have you driven a car? I think accidentally leaning towards 80 on a highway. When you're hanging out with friends + you become bored, do you just leave or endure the boredom? Given I can't leave without a car, I deal with it. What did you last plug into your computer? What were you doing with this? The charger for obvious reasons. What color(s) have you dyed your hair? Red, purple, black, then red, purple, and lighter brown highlights. I really wish I could dye it more and actually have the color stick... Was your first kiss perfect? It was to me. What song did you hear last? I have "Over The Mountain" by Ozzy on now. (: Does anyone have any blackmail on you? No. Have you ever walked into the guys' bathroom? HA, once during a teacher work day (my mom was an assistant) at my elementary school. My sisters and friends went in there to be little "rebels." I remember being mega confused with urinals, haha. Then as a teen and adult, I've been in the dance studio's boy's restroom as well as a church's to help Mom clean. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? My therapist. Are you shy? I am VERY shy. Are you talkative? Generally, no, but when I'm in a very good mood, I tend to be. Has your most recent ex ever seen you cry? Oh jeez, she saw me wail once. When was the last time you were called "cute"? I'm not sure. Would you rather be called "hot", "cute" or "beautiful"? "Beautiful." Do you have a little sister? Yep. Definitely not "little" anymore, though. About to have her Master's in social work... How many arguments have you had with the last person you kissed? Given our childhood, we've fought a lot, but mostly just as kids over very, very stupid things. As adults, we've had a serious argument once or twice and then just some very minor disagreements sprinkled in there. Do you know anyone who's been arrested? Oh yes. What're you planning on doing after this? Another survey. What time did you go to sleep last night? Damn, it wasn't even 8:00. I was EXHAUSTED and actually slept decently for once in my life. Do you like waking up to good morning texts in the morning? I mean, I'd think most people would. It's a sweet, easy way of someone showing they care and think about you. Have you left some things unsaid with a certain person? Yeah. What was the last thing that made you happy? We had syrup to add to my breakfast, haha. I don't know if these are a thing everywhere, but I looove what we just call "pancakes on a stick," which is like a corndog, but with sausage and pancake batter. Dipping it in syrup is amaaaaaaziiiiiiing. Do you like the smell of rain? I don't love it, but it's refreshing sometimes. It's mostly just associated with a bittersweet memory, so it can be triggering to smell. I know, that sounds immensely stupid. What was the last thing you took a picture of? A very, very relatable meme to show Sara, haha. She doesn't have a Facebook, so that'll do. When you go to McDonald's, what drink do you usually get? I always get a Coke. What’s the nickname of your home state? Tar Heel State, from discovering tar in the since aptly-named Tar River. Have you ever thought about your wedding? I mean duh. What’s the worse type of weather in your opinion? Hot and humid, ugh. Especially right after a summer afternoon thunderstorm. It's unbearable. You can't fucking breathe outside, and you set one foot out of the door and it's soaked. Do you have a Kindle or iPad or neither? Neither. Would you rather read or write? Write. When was the last time someone took a picture of you? The time Misty visited last month and we were taking family pictures. Would you rather see Taylor Swift or Carrie Underwood in concert? I wouldn't pay for either or even willingly go to one or the other, but if I had to go for whatever reason, Carrie. She has a beautiful voice as well as a good handful of songs I actually like. I'm not a Taylor fan; there are only like, two old songs by her I enjoy. When someone screws you over, do you get back with revenge? No. I may not be the best at adulting, but damn, I'm not that bad. Name something negative that you hate about yourself? I overthink like a motherfucker. About everything. Is there a dead end road near where you live? I live on one. Huh, that's actually been the case three times... wow. Four if you count the apartment. Who are you tired of seeing in the news a lot (celebrities)? I don't care. I don't even pay attention to the news, other than Covid updates. Have you ever had to call and complain about a product you bought? No. Name something positive you love about yourself: I care a lot about people. Can you smell anything right now? No, besides however my house naturally smells that I'm numb to. Have you spoken to a relative on the phone today? No. How does alcohol affect you? I flush in my face very obviously, and I become more outgoing and talkative. Have you ever eaten tofu and if so, did you enjoy it? I've never tried it, but I very much doubt I'd enjoy it. What was the last type of meat you ate? Pork. What colour is your toothpaste? Blue and white. Have you ever been suspended from school? No. Have you ever inhaled helium? Once, I believe. Are you a fan of Adam Sandler? Yeah, I think he's pretty funny and a talented actor. What was the last fruit you ate? An apple. A candied apple for Valentine's Day, but still an apple, haha. Have you ever watched Parks and Recreation? With Sara's family, yeah. It was fine. Have you watched a movie this week? I haven't watched a movie in many months. Have you set an alarm today? Yeah, just to ensure I was up for group therapy today. Have you asked someone for advice today? No. What was the last website you were on, other than this one? YouTube. Have you ever been to Hawaii? No, but it'd be cool. Well, thinking about the humidity... Have you watched more than an hour of TV today? No; I haven't watched television in a long time. Do you keep magazines by your toilet? No. The last time you got dressed up, where did you go? I got my makeup done and put on a dress for a Halloween "witch" shoot with my friend and some other people. The pictures pretty much don't exist because they're blurry as shit and way too dark because we left too late. I don't know why we even left the house to do it by the time everyone figured their shit out. I was really disappointed because I thought Summer made me look really, really pretty. ;_; Did the one person who hurt you the most in your life apologize? Yes, but I don't know if he really meant it. He might have just wanted me off his back, but I kinda feel now that he meant it, at least regarding how it happened. Are you proud of who you are? Only in the sense that I think I have a good heart. Otherwise, no. I've accomplished so little. Have you ever been to Costco? We don't have those here, so no. Do/did you have to wear a uniform to your high school? No, thank Christ. Only in middle school. How many video games do you own? A whole lot. Have you ever been to a casino? If so, which one(s)? No. Have you ever visited a sex shop? No. How many sets of keys do you have for your house? One. Do you give spare keys to your place to your friends and family? Our landlord/family friend has one. Then obviously my sisters do, too. Have you ever ridden a bicycle through a busy city? Oh hell no. Do you use Instagram? How often do you post there? Yes, two for each of my photography "styles." I don't post a lot myself, but I react to stuff. When was the last time you high-fived someone? I believe the last time I was at my sister's and my nephew caught a Pokemon on his first throw in Pokemon GO. He and his sister LOVE that game; that's the first thing they ask to do when I come over, haha. Their dad doesn't like it because it's "evil" (which he finds most things, really...), and it's something I could roll my eyes into the back of my head about, but I still have to respect his parenting and ask if they can play it first. He let's 'em, just not long. He also took away the Pikachu plushy I gave Aubree because it's her favorite one. :^) Guess who doesn't fuckin like him lmao. Do you like writing? How often do you write? I love writing! I don't do it very much nowadays except through surveys, though. RP is kinda on pause, so surveys is really how I just get stuff out, even if it isn't creative. Are there any posters or artworks hanging in your living room? Artwork and family photos, yes. What's your favourite place to get pizza? I'm a basic bitch that loves her some Domino's. How many times have you been to the beach? Quite a few times. We live only like two hours away, and considering Myrtle Beach is a common dance competition location, we've been a couple handfuls of instances. Has there ever been a fire inside your house? Tell me the story. No. After we moved out of my childhood house though that we actually owned, the fucking idiots who were moving in completely roasted it to pitch by setting boxes on the goddamn stove and accidentally turning it on. The house had to be entirely rebuilt. My parents were livid considering it was THEIR house. Have you ever had a scary encounter with a wild animal? No. What was the best school project you remember doing? I actually really enjoyed the huge essay I did on toxic masculinity the last time I tried college. I've always been very firm about letting men be humans and not emotionless robots, but I learned a lot more while researching and writing. Name a video game you can play over and over again: Shadow of the Colossus is #1. I've beaten it at least 30 times, maybe even 40+; it's been too long since I've seen the save files. It's a relatively short game (you can beat it in less than like, four hours if you know what you're doing) and just very relaxing yet simultaneously absolutely epic to me. God, I want a PS4 to play the remaster, like beyond words. It looks incredible, and I want to try to get white Agro. Have you ever petted a cow, a sheep, or a pig? A pig, yes. I love pigs.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''you're gonna go far kid'' by the offspring

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until-theend-oftheline · 5 years

Text

Romantic Annoyance

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

Squares Filled: Engagement for @marvelfluffbingo and “Come here and kiss me, Dummy” for @goodthingshappenbingo (mcu rpf)

Warnings: Traveling sucks. A jump scare.

Word Count: 2500ish

A/N: I was having Chris feels… And Scott stars a bit too cause why not!

Betaed by: @queen-of-the-avengers - Thank you Jordan!

***My fics are not to be saved nor posted on any other sites without my express written permission.***

Normally, you loved your job. More than that, it was part of who you were. You loved telling people’s stories. You loved fighting with your words and laptop against the injustice of the world. You were opinionated and fiery, and you still had yet to come across a rich white guy or a politician that scared you. You were a reporter and you were damn proud of it.

Today, as you sat on the crowded plane flying business class to Spain where you were supposed to cover a political conference and interview a guy who supposedly had some big secrets to tell. Your boss had been vague and truthfully when it came to the really big stories that were usually the way that she was, but today it annoyed you.

You had dropped everything and jumped the plane because she asked you too, just like always. But this time it wasn’t completely without regret. Actually, it was with a lot of regret, and as the toddlers behind you threw the third toy to the back of your neck, you sighed wishing you were back in the Boston airport.

You loved your job, but it kept you apart from your boyfriend, who also had a job that took him all over the world, far too much. Chris Evans was an actor and had spent the past eight weeks in South Africa shooting his newest movie. You had spent most of those eight weeks at home in Boston following up on a few different stories for the Globe. Sometimes, you were able to do the job you were proud of and stay fairly close to home.

As soon as the plane touched the ground, you sighed deeply. Of course, the eight weeks where Chris was on another continent, was the eight weeks you had barely had to leave Boston, and the day he was due to return home had been the day you had been ordered to a third continent yourself. Sometimes you were wondering how the two of you had made it this far.

You knew those thoughts were only you missing him. Chris was an amazing man, and he always made sure the two of you spent time together. Even when he had to travel with you across the world when he finally had time off to relax. You had gotten better at saying no, and valuing your free time with both your families.

You sighed once more as you got into the taxi, heading towards the hotel your boss had booked for you. Traffic was awful, and you soon realize you’d probably had to spend a good few hours in the cab, especially since the driver didn’t seem to have a clue where he was going.

You groaned to yourself after trying to point him in the right direction a few times, but soon gave up when he rambled about short cuts and backroads. Deciding it was pointless, you leaned back and looked out the window, taking in the city. At least it was your boss paying the bills, and you didn’t have to cash out for the long way round cab ride.

You closed your eyes, trying to relax. It had been a stressful morning, to say the least. Your boss had called you early this morning, making you rush into the office hardly without getting your morning coffee. You had tried to vessel out of the assignment, but she had guilted you into taking it anyway which meant rushing back home to pack while trying to arrange a dog sitter for Dodger.

Chris had left his dog in your care these past few weeks, and up until now it had been absolutely no problem, but you didn’t want to leave the pupper alone for you didn’t know how many hours until Chris made it back home tonight. Finally, you had managed to get a hold of Scott, who for some reason always seemed incapable of hurrying up. He was an absolute sweetheart, but he was one of the most laid back while still peppy people you had ever met. You weren’t sure how that combination was possible within one personality but it was in Scott, who always managed to make you laugh but also even later than you already were as he kept trying to sneak fancy clothes and bikinis into your suitcase.

“Scotty! I’m going there to do actual work. Not to work on my tan,” you whined as you tried to regain control of your packing, but no such luck.

“Who knows, you might meet some hot guy over there,” Scott shrugged, and jumped when your fist landed against his upper arm. “Hey!”

“I’ve been dating your brother for three years now you idiot. We practically live together. I’m not gonna meet any hot guys,” you scolded, making Scott bend over laughing. You shook your head deciding Scott had to have lost his mind.

Somehow you managed to make it to the airport just in time, kissing Scott’s cheek and telling him thank you for the ride before ruffling Dodger’s head and rushing towards the terminal. You didn’t see Scott smirking after you or how he quickly fished his phone out of his pocket as you ran to the desk to get your passport stamped and board your plane.

All you could think about as the cab finally pulled up in front of the hotel was that you hadn’t been able to reach Chris all day or even tell Scott when you’d be back home. You’re already shitty mood hadn’t improved when the manager at the front desk told you no rooms had been booked, and they didn’t have any rooms available. You had been on the verge of tears, which was not like you at all when he told you all the hotels in town were booked for the political convention, you were there to cover. Being this emotional over something as stupid as an overbooked city and a fault in your booking wasn’t normally something that would get to you. You were a practical person, and usually, you’d have gone into problem-solving mode and figure something out. Right then, however, it was all you could do to keep your tears at bay as you thought about Chris’ comfortable huge bed and his arms that could have been wrapped around you for the first time in weeks had you just stood your ground this morning and said no.

The manager at the hotel looked almost panicked when they realized yours were fighting back your tears. He quickly told you he had a friend that might be able to help. He rented outhouses by the beach, and there was a chance he had something available.

You thanked him profusely as he hung up the phone, scribbling down an address for you before handing it over. You had tried to pay him, but the man had refused, telling you his friend would drop by within a day or two to sort it all out with you. It was incredibly generous, and you knew you should be happy, but you weren’t. You just wanted to fly back home. You wanted to see your boyfriend and cuddling bed, and not on some stupid assignment in an overpacked big European city.

You drew a sigh of relief when the cab pulled up in front of the beach house. It was secluded and kinda perfect for when you had to write up your article or just go through whatever research you’d end up doing. You paid the cabby and thanked him before throwing your backpack over your shoulder and dragging your suitcase behind you. You never packed this heavy normally, but thanks to Scott you didn’t pack like a reporter going on assignment, but as a girl going to a sunny beach or honeymoon with her hot husband.

You groaned in annoyance as you managed to drag the bags up the stairs before dropping them inside the door. You closed your eyes, leaning against the hallway and letting out a deep breath as you wished you could just go to sleep rather than starting prepping for the convention you knew nothing about and were going to attend tomorrow.

Suddenly, your heart stopped in your chest as you noticed a flicker of light from the private beach across the hallway and dark living room. Maybe someone was still here and the guy had given you the wrong house number? Or maybe someone had just decided to squat in the empty vacation home?

You felt your stomach do a flip as panic started to settle in you. You looked around the dark house, but there was no indication anyone was here except for the flickering lights on the beach. You took a deep breath, slowly moving towards the patio doors.

You froze when you heard ruffling outside. Someone was definitely here. You weren’t sure what possessed you to bend over and take off one of your shoes, raising it over your head as a weapon as you slowly pushed the door open.

Before you had a chance to comprehend what was going on, a man jumped away from the door to prevent being hit by it. You screamed in surprise by the sudden movement and flung your shoe at his face before he could say anything. You turned around, ready to run for safety before stopping after only a few steps.

“Ow! Fuck!” the man grumbled, making you freeze and slowly turn back around.

“Chris! What the hell are you doing here?” you scolded, still not over your shook as you quickly approached him. You reached up and removed his hand from the side of his face where you assumed your shoe must have hit him. An angry red mark was forming, but thankfully, you hadn’t broken the skin.

“A shoe, Baby? Really? Suddenly, I’m worried about you traveling alone so much,” Chris joked, clearly not mad about you almost taking out his eye. Lucky for him, you always traveled in flats.

“Well strange men don’t usually show up at the places I rent,” you rolled your eyes before realizing how strange it really was that he was here.

“How did you even know? The travel was last second, and the hotel was fully booked. No one knows I am here, not even my boss…” you ranted, stopping when you saw the smirk on Chris’ face. Before he had the chance to say anything, you felt the anger build inside you. You weren’t sure if it was from being scared shitless not a moment ago or from the stressful day you had getting here.

“There is no job is there?” you hissed, ignoring the surprise on Chris’ face with how harsh your tone had grown. “I haven’t been able to reach you all day because you made my boss fake a job so I would get on a plane, battle the Spanish traffic to a hotel only to be told they were fully booked which I am sure wasn’t true either was it?”

You only stopped long enough for Chris to shake his head. You didn’t take in how mortified and apologetic he looked before you continued your rant. “And then I get here, and I think there is a burglar or squatter or something in the house, which is in the middle of nowhere I might add, and I have zero clue who to call to not get killed. Chris have you lost...”

You suddenly spotted the beach behind Chris, and you stopped with a gasp. The flicker of lights you had seen had been candles. Candles that spelled out the words “Marry Me?” Suddenly all the emotions from stress, to fear, to sorrow to anger to happiness, you had been feeling throughout the day, became too much as tears started flowing down your cheeks.

A look of absolute panic appeared on Chris’ face when he saw you start to cry. He quickly took a step towards you, fiddling with his hands, clearly not sure if it was okay for him to touch you with how angry you had just been with him a second ago.

“Y/N/N, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for the day to be this stressful for you. I didn’t think… I just wanted to surprise you. I’m so sorry,” Chris ranted before a single word from you made him stop.

“Yes,” you whispered, not really paying attention to Chris’ stream of words as you just looked at the beach behind him.

“What?”

You slowly turned to Chris’, laughing at the look of absolute confusion and disbelief on his face. “Yes. I’ll marry you. Come here and kiss me, dummy.”

“You…” Chris blinked and shook his head as if he was trying to comprehend what had just happened and then he started laughing himself. He stepped towards you, wrapping you in his arms and pressing a tender kiss to your lips, before pulling back to fish a small black velvet box out of his pocket.

“This is really not how I pictured this,” Chris mumbled, lowering himself down to one knee, causing you to laugh again.

“I already said I’ll marry you, you goof,” you teased and Chris’ pulled a face at you.

“Just let me do this woman,” he playfully growled, and you bit your lip, trying to hold back your laughter as happiness bubbled in your chest.

“I know being with me is not always easy. I’m spontaneous, and I, in some ways, stopped maturing past twelve,” Chris confessed, and you could no longer hold back your laughter as you ran your fingers through his long hair.

“Only in the best ways,” you interrupted him, biting your lip, not looking the least bit apologetic when he sent you a playful glare.

“You’re infuriating and stubborn. I’m annoying constantly wanting to surprise you. Our jobs make everything seem impossible at times, but this still works. I love you and I feel whole when I’m with you. You’re my missing piece Baby, and nothing would make me happier than if you’d be my wife?” Chris’ opened the box and showed you a simple silver diamond ring.

You felt yourself tear up again and the sight of him holding it, looking up at you with so much hope and love in those beautiful blue eyes of his. You nodded, sniffling and quickly drying your eyes with the back of your one hand and offering him the other.

“Yes. I’ll be your wife,” you smiled, and Chris quickly put the ring on your finger as if he was scared you’d regret your words if he didn’t seal them quickly.

You laughed as Chris jumped to his feet, wrapping you in his strong arms. He lifted you off the ground and spun you around laughing, as you squealed with equal amounts of surprise and happiness. He gently lowered you back to your feet, kissing you passionately. The world around you stopped turning. In that moment, all that mattered was Chris and his silent promise of an amazing life together.

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Chris Evans Tag Team

@feelmyroarrrr @princess-evans-addict @roxyspearing @jewels2876 @girl-next-door-writes @hellaqueerangelofthelord @danijimenezv @becs-bunker @smoothdogsgirl @blacktithe7 @grace-for-sale @averyrogers83 @sorenmarie87 @docharleythegeekqueen @erosbellarke @the-wayward-robot @super100012 @myfanficlibrarium @awkwardfangirl2014 @dottirose @panicatttckiss @kimmiestrawberrykiwi

#Chris Evans #chris evans x reader #chris evans imagine #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans x you #chris x reader #chris x you #mcu rpf

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autistic-characterhcs · 5 years

Text

Autistic!Wayne (P1)

I wrote this back at the start of summer and thought I should post it here. It’s the introduction for a fanfic I started and kind of dropped from a show called Letterkenny. I think the main character, Wayne, is Autistic. He has some symptoms that are all but text book.

Warnings: Stronger than usual swearing langue. If you watch Letterkenny, this oneshot is cleaner worded than any given episode.

Wayne had been diagnosed with Autism when he was eight or ten. His parents knew there was something a little “off” with him but it was Pa’s friend, Dan, who tied everything together. They were going hunting- Dan, Pa, Darry, and Wayne that is- until the trip got rained out. If it was just rain they would have gone but thunder and lightning put a pin in any notion of sitting in a metal framed deer blind.

Pa and Dan didn’t mind that much; they sat at the table chatting with Mumma over a couple of Gus’N’Bruno’s Puppers. Darry was watching cartoons in the living room with Wayne and Katy. Well, sort of. Wayne was mighty antsy and couldn’t sit still for long, so Darry was trying to calm him down. Wayne wasn’t upset the trip was cancelled, they could reschedule. He was irked the plans had changed within an hour’s notice.

“You know, Bens, I thinks Waynes got the Autisms.” Dan said.

The three of them could see Darry shuffling a deck of playing cards on the coffee table while Wayne watched, his foot bouncing a mile a minute and he kneaded the knees of his pants like he was trying to wring water out of them.

“What’s that now, Dan?” Mumma asked, getting a snack for the kids.

“Well, I was thinking an’ it fits. My cousin’s nephew’s son has it and Waynes acts sort of simulars to him. Theys both stoics, gots to has a water-tight routine. Theys both move their hands sorts of funnies.” Dan explained.

Mumma and Pa looked at each other. “What do you figure, honey” Pa asked. “Worth looking into?”

“If there’s something they can do to help him.”

Within three appointments Wayne was diagnosed with Autism. Same as always, gas travels fast in a small town so by the end of the week most of Letterkenny knew.

*****

As Wayne, Katy, and Darry got older, peers started bullying Wayne and Darry more. Come middle school, the three of them were pretty good at fighting. However, little gangs often sprouted. If someone picked on Wayne, Katy and/or Darry quickly taught them not to fuck with him. If someone went after Darry without reason or went too far with Katy, Wayne told ‘em where to go. By the time Wayne and Darry graduated high school, most of Letterkenny understood.

*****

When Wayne and Katy’s parents died, Wayne went nearly nonverbal for almost two weeks. He wasn’t one much for words in the first place, so the one and two word answers scared Katy. Wayne hadn’t cried after a week of Mumma and Papa’s death and Katy didn’t know if he was going to; she’d never seen him cry before.

Two weeks passed before he finally crumbled. He was making breakfast for himself, Katy, and Darry (with some extras for Dan). He’d forgotten to do the dishes the night before, so the spatula he needed wasn’t clean and it drove the final nail in.

He threw the spoon he had in his hand across the room and a deep growl rose from his throat, his hands tugging hard on his hair. Katy and Darry both jumped when Wayne threw the spoon. Daryl jumped up from his chair and stood behind Wayne, getting a tight grip on his wrists. Slowly, Wayne’s fingers released his hair and Darry steadily lowered Wayne’s hands to his waist.

“You’re okay, good buddy, you’re okay.” Darry whispered again and again. Once Wayne’s breathing was a little closer to normal, Darry let go of Wayne’s wrists and hugged him tightly.

With a body shuddering sob, Wayne’s knees gave out and Darry lowered them to the floor. He moved around Wayne so he could properly hold him as he sobbed. Katy quickly set to flipping pancakes on the stove so they wouldn’t burn.

Ten minutes later when Dan came in, Wayne was still sobbing into Darry’s shoulder where they sat on the floor. At the 15 minute mark, the heart wrenching sobs that made Katy tear up quieted down and he’d sobbed himself out after a total of 25 minutes. He let himself be held by Darry, being a limp weight.

Darry backed up slightly so he could see his best friend’s face. His eyes were red; his face red, blotchy, and tear streaked. “Okay, big shooter?” Wayne shakily nodded and Darry pulled him back into the hug. “Got a headache?” Darry guessed. Another nod. “Let’s get you in a chair an’ I’ll get you a tylenol, hm?” There was a pause but Wayne nodded all the same.

Darryl got Wayne on his feet again and he brought his hands to his head again but Darry caught them around the wrists. “Wayne, eye contact.” He prompted. “Wayne.” Hesitantly, Wayne brought his eyes to meet Darryl’s. “Ya gotta stop pullin’ your hair, buddy. It’s just gonna make your headache worse.” Darryl kept his firm grip on Wayne’s wrists until he got another nod of conformation. As promised, Darry helped Wayne to his usual chair.

No-one said anything about Wayne’s outburst and he took the two painkillers when Darryl put them in front of him with some water. No-one said anything when Wayne teared up throughout the day, either.

Dan stayed over more than usual knowing what Wayne and Katy were going through. Dan stayed closer to Wayne and Katy too so he could cheer up the grieving siblings.

*****

Two months passed before a lawyer came knocking and this fuckin’ idiot got Wayne fully verbal again.

“We think it would be best to move your sister into a group home,” the case worker said.

“Hard no.” Wayne didn’t pause, still moving the bales of straw onto the trailer. “This family’s been broke up enough. Katy isn’t going anywhere.”

“We’re just worried she won’t be provided for with your mental cond-”

“This doesn’t have anything to do with my Autism. If I was unfit to care for my sister, I’d be unfit to care for myself and someone at the hospital would have told me before I turned 18. We’re staying together.”

“Mr-”

“Look, I can take care of my sister just fine. ‘Sides, if it’s me yer worried about I’m never alone with her. Go ask Darryl, Squirrely Dan, and the McMurries what they think. Darry lives with us, he brings in some pay o’ his own and we have friends we can ask for help from if we ever needed it. Give me the papers and I’ll take custody over Katy. She ain’t living under someone else’s roof until she’s 18 or good’n’ready to be living somewhere else.”

“Are you sure? That’s a lot of stress and burden for someone your age. Especially with you still running the farm.”

Wayne stopped moving bales of hay and set his stern, squinted eyes on the pair of caseworkers, pointing stiffly at them. “You call my sister a stress and burden one more time an’ I’ll have to go over there and talk to ya.” He put his arm down. “Get me the adoption papers or get the fuck off my property.”

“We don’t have the papers right now. We didn’t think you were going to…”

“Then get off my property. Come back with the papers or don’t come back at all.”

*****

Wayne dated Angie for two years before he found out she cheated on him. He wasn’t a fan of being touched by anyone other than Darry or Katy. He’d been perfectly happy with their relationship. All the talking and occasional hand holding but nothing too out of his comfort zone. They’d kiss or make out sometimes but he always felt weird afterwards and he couldn’t pin it as a good thing or a bad thing.

He heard rumours around town of someone cheating on a “sped” but he ignored it. Despite Letterkenny being pretty small, he didn’t know everyone, so it must have been pert near impossible for it to be about him and his Angie, right? Hard no. Katy told him it was true. She hadn’t mentioned left a bright pink hand print on the cheek of the bastard Angie had cheated on Wayne with. She figured it wouldn’t help her brother’s broken heart.

It took a lot for Wayne to trust someone and Angie had somehow gotten herself into the farmer’s heart and then stomped it into the dirt when she got bored. Wayne didn’t cry but he didn’t turn down a hug from Katy either. Darry had been there for him too with a couple of Puppers and some stupid jokes he knew Wayne would understand and enjoy.

*****

A year passed before Wayne pieced things together for himself with a little help from Katy. He wasn’t one for talking about his feelings; it made him feel 10-ply. So when he went to Katy to ask questions about her love life, the young woman had some idea of what was going on.

“How’re ya now?” Wayne sat next to his sister on the couch.

“Good. ‘N you?” Katy put her phone down and gave Wayne her full attention so he’d know she was listening and wasn’t bored or wanted him to stop talking.

“Oh, not so bad.”

“What’s up, Big Brother?”

“Well, I have a question and don’t completely know how to ask it.” He started off slow. He was still thinking as he spoke but Katy knew how to talk to her brother so she knew it sometime took him a little while longer than most people to get the question just how he wanted it.

“We can figure out.” She adjusted how she was sitting.

“You know how you try to go after Bonnie McMurry?” Wayne tried.

“Bonnie McMurry,” Katy sighed dreamily. “What about her?”

“Well, before you liked her you were dating the hockey players.” Wayne’s head was racing with how to ask the next part. “How’d you know you liked Bonnie and not another man?”

Katy was a little taken aback. This was out of character for Wayne. Usually he wanted nothing =to do with Riley and Jonesy aside from tripping them with Darry when they dropped her off before they broke up. “Well, uh… just… I don’t know, Big Brother. There’s just something different, you know? Jonesy and Riley were good for in bed stuff but they didn’t have the brain space put together for a full conversation. With Bonnie, though, she’s smart and can laugh.”

Wayne thought for a second. This was backwards of what he was going through. All Angie seemed to have wanted was the “in bed stuff” without much of the talking and laughing. Darryl, on the other hand… Darryl made him smile that rare smile only he and Katy- not even Dan anymore- got to see. Angie left Wayne for the exact opposite reason Katy had left the hockeyplayers. He was a good listener but didn’t want anything to do with a bed if it wasn’t for sleeping or relaxing and he didn’t want anything to with touching if it wasn’t a handshake.

“What’s going on in your head, Wayne?” Katy asked fondly. She knew he was trying to figure something out.

Wayne’s throat made the little growl it always did when he was thinking too hard. “I don’t know.”

“Well, what are you trying to figure out?”

“I figured out why Angie cheated on me.” He said, folding his arms across his chest. “I did not want any of the bed stuff.”

“That’s alright; some people don’t.” Katy nodded. “Do you like someone else now?”

“I think so. I don’t know if it is okay.”

“Who do you like? I can probably tell if they’re into guys,” Katy offered. She knew not to push too far with the question. Wayne had come to her and he wasn’t likely to leave until they got it figured out. “It’s okay. I dated two guys at the same time where all three of us were in the relationship and now I’m chasing after a girl two years younger than me. I’m not in a position to judge anyone.”

“Except Gailer.”

“Except Gailer.” Katy could give him that one. “So who is the lucky person?”

“I think… I think it’s Dar.”

“That’s alright. You two would be cute.” Katy smiled. She happened to know that Darry felt the same way about her brother. The fond and sappy look he’d give Wayne when he was playing with one of the dogs or joking around with Katy. “You gonna get after him?”

“I do not know.”

“Why not? He wouldn’t judge you.” Katy prompted, tapping Wayne’s knee with her socked foot.

“Because if something were to go wrong then it’s 20 years down the drain.” Wayne tried to reason. “I can trust…”

“You can trust Daryl, Wayne. He’s one that won’t hurt you and you don’t even have to worry about it. Not even a little.” Katy comforted him. “You don’t have to tell him, but I think he’d want to know the truth, Big Brother.”

It took Wayne a couple days to say anything- he didn’t really. Just kissed him casually one morning- but he and Darry were dating by the end of the week.

#autistic character hcs #autistic!wayne #letterkenny #letterkenny wayne #letterkenny katy #letterkenny darry #letterkenny dan #wayne x darry #letterkenny imagine

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theabominableblogger · 4 years

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Rewatching “Crimson Peak”

Discussing this movie on the Gotham group chat with @ckatattack and decided “Eff it, Imma watch it again.”

Lez go!

“Rent movie for $3.99″ absolutely

Holy crap, I forgot about this opening lullaby during the logo. Holy shit.

For some reason, the bloody Edith in the opening shot really looks like something the girl behind MadeYewLook should do. Other Alexis, hear me out!

These colors (in young Edith’s bedroom)!

*flinches when the first ghost puts her hand on Young Edith’s shoulder*

You ever had someone put their hand on your shoulder when you’re like seconds away from falling asleep? Scariest shit ever.

*silently jams out to the music when Edith is traveling to the publisher*

I freaking LOVE Edith’s yellow dress in this movie. The puffy shoulders, the black under dress, the straw hat, love it.

“Actually, Mrs. McMichael, I would prefer Mary Shelley. She died a widow.” *z snaps*

“The ghost is just a metaphor. For the past.” Boom there’s the whole movie.

“He told me it needed a love story. Can you believe that?” AGAIN-

Also holy shit, Bobby from Supernatural is Edith’s dad!

For a second, I thought this typing house looked like a science fair.

AND THERE HE [Tom HIddleston] ISSSS!!

I’m sorry, I’m just smiling... so hard at this [Edith and Thomas’s first scene together]

Listen, if we get a scene in the Loki TV show where we see him in an outfit very close to the one he wears in this movie, I will... die. That’s it. I’ll just die.

The aesthetics for most of Guillermo del Toro’s movies are wonderful. The like 95% period accurate clothing, the yellow lighting, the red and green wallpapers OH MY GOD I JUST NOTICED THE RED AND GREEN

*The door knob starts creaking* Oh boy

That shot of Edith’s face in half shadow when she’s about ready to close the door but she sees the ghost of her mother? Good stuff.

*Thomas waits near the staircase* OH SNAP HE LOOK GOOD

OHHHHHHH THAT TRANSITIONNNNN [from the staircase to the ballroom]!!

I also love the detail that Lucille’s dress is ten years too old for her because she is still stuck in the past when it comes to life.

*grins like an idiot when Thomas offers the candle to Edith*

There are so many people gasping in this scene

I wonder if they actually did try to do the waltz with the actual candle lit for filming or did they do some VFX to make it look like it was lit the whole time? Part of me thinks that that flame’s real but I don’t know.

Where have I seen the guy who plays the investigator before?

“The man that just left, among other ailments, is colorblind....only the majority around him does. Now that man will never perceive the colors red or green. He only accepts their existence because the majority around him does.” “Perhaps we only notice things when the time comes for us to see them.” OH MY GOD ALL THE RED AND GREEN IN EDITH’S HOME

Charlie Hunnam’s Britsh accent slipped in when he said “understand”

Also I want this man to play Green Arrow in the DCEU

Did she [Lucille] just rub the dead butterfly on her face?

*Close of ants feeding on dead butterfly* Thanks, that was needed.

*Thomas reveals the ring he was going to give Edith* BOY YOU KNEW HER FOR LIKE A THREE DAYS AND A NIGHT

Were those all the previous marriage certificates?

“Ladies and gentlemen, we have an unexpected announcement. Sir Thomas?” *sinks down in seat and hisses nervously*

*is extremely uncomfortable when Thomas has to insult Edith’s novel in front of her*

*Edith slaps Thomas* Well he took that pretty well.

*Lucille in the doorway of the dining room* You know what, eff you.

*jaw drops in horror when someone smashes Mr. Cushing’s face in the sink repeatedly, killing him*

I love that Edith is still in her nightgown and she still has bed head (of a sorts) and yet she ran to the hotel, just throwing on a coat and leaving her reading glasses on.

*slams hands on laptop* THESE. TRANSITIONS.

I FORGOT ABOUT THE PUPPER!

BACK AT IT AGAIN WITH THE GREEN WALLPAPER, SET DESIGNERS!

I’m sorry, was that a slight kiss mark on Edith’s chin? Did I see that right?

Boy, you be hugging your sister for way too long...

*Lucille refuses to give Edith a copy of the keys* Electric chair.

“You chose her. Why?” BECAUSE HE LOVES HER YOU BITCH

*One of the ghosts sneaks up on Edith in the bathroom* We see you, @actordougjones!! I see you!!

*Thomas loudly stirs Edith’s tea for her* I’m suddenly flashing back to the tea cup from “Get Out”

So would the Sunken Place for this scenario just be completely red from the red clay? Thoughts to think about.

Wait, how long is Mia Wasikowska’s hair? Is that all real? Jeez! The last time I had hair down to my butt was in elementary school.

“Mother.” Oo woo oo...

Look, I’ve already seen this movie, but I already want Lucille to shut the hell up.

I’m sorry, was that a porn book Lucille just showed Edith?

Well damn they replaced that sink real quick!

*Thomas watches Edith as she watches one of his contraptions* S T O P

Mr. del Toro, you have been reading my list of favorite romantic tropes. Sir please-

*Edith and Thomas kiss passionately* OH... OHH...

*gestures in the air with frustration when Lucille enters the room*

GO AWAY

Can we start taking shots every time Edith starts wandering around the halls in her nightgown holding a candelabra in this movie?

GREEEEEENNNNNN...

*One of the ghosts starts crawling on the floor, moaning and wailing* Haha me

*to the tune of “Sugar We’re Going Down”* WE’RE GOING DOWN DOWN INTO THE RED CLAY BASEMENT! EDITH WE’RE GOING DOWN-

“My hands are getting rough. Your father would approve.” Why would I just realize that? Man, I’m getting slow.

The last time I watched this movie was in 2016. I watched the trailer back when I was a senior in high school. And I watched that trailer multiple times.

I love the ghost as the scarecrow

Girl, you are coughing up blood. You have been poisoned.

Edith back at it again wandering around at night! Take a shot!

This was a terrible decision for me to watch this at like midnight. Why did I do this?

OK, so which one of these ghosts is Javier Botet?

Oh my gosh, the chair Edith is in is bigger than last time because she’s being swallowed by the house.

AND ANOTHER TRANSITION!

“Sir Thomas is already married.” BUM BUM BUMMM!!

*has to look away as Thomas and Edith get it on*

Aaand there’s the English countryside right there. I’m gonna look back away now.

“Lucille, we’re back!” Lucille, you son of a bitch.

“You slept there? You two... alone...” Yeah, that’s what husband and wife do. They get together, sleep together, do a lot of things together. Jesus.

“I was so alone. I can’t be alone.” Lady, I just want you to shut the hell up.

OK, so now I forget what’s in the ES suitcase? Enola’s body? What’s up?

Oh, it’s just a suitcase full of other stuff. Never mind. I thought it was gonna be her body.

Lemme guess the ghost is gonna rise out of the red goo? Yep!

I’m getting a lot of callbacks to “The Shining” like with all the red and then the ghost with the ax in her head climbing out of the tub

Jessica Chastain’s accent keeps slipping. Am I the only one who’s noticed?

*laughing* Oh my God, again! Take a shot!

Oh my God they freaking swindled a lady in a wheelchair. Ohhhh my God...

WAIT I FORGOT THAT WAS ENOLA’S DOG!

“The poison... is in the tea!” Funnnnnnnnn....

Oh but of course she got snowed in.

“I [Lucille] tended Mother in this bed.” *so done*

STOP EFFING... SCRAPING THE TEA CUP GODDAMN

STOP IT

So is Lucille the older sibling? Oh yeah she is because she said she tended to their mom

*completely done with Lucille’s BS*

Whoever did the set design for Allerdale Hall, I want to send them flowers and my love

OK I know for a fact that that’s Doug Jones as the ghost of Enola

WAIT I FORGOT ABOUT THIS SHIT

*quickly rips out earphones*

*cue a very long string of expletives and looking up and away from the screen*

EXCUSE ME HER [expletive] BACK IS BROKEN! SHE HAS LOST THE WILL TO WALK!

*singing* ALAAANNNN THE UNSUNG HE-ROOOOOO!!!

LUCILLE I WANT YOU *laughing* TO SHUT THE HELL UP

*gasps* WAIT SHE TOOK THE RING BACK FROM EDITH!

“I’m [Alan] here to take you [Edith] away.” *singing* They’re going to take me away, a ha, they’re going to take me away!

Wait he’s a doctor and he just yanks that sucker out of his arm pit? You’d think he’d be smarter than that.

OH MY GOD THEY KILLED THE DOG

*shakes head at the whole fiasco*

*ends up glaring at Lucille as she tosses Edith’s manuscript in the fire*

Edith, while she’s looking away, just freaking tear that... *mimes tearing motion*

Oh my God of course she [Lucille] has a drawer full of the victim’s hairs

“You told me you loved me!” “I do!” AGH

*Thomas throws the law papers in the fire* YAASSSS!!

*gasps when Lucille stabs Thomas*

*jaw drops in horror when Thomas just shanked IN THE FACE*

GOD AND YOU CAN HEAR THE BONE-

*Thomas dies* Jeeesus... that was a good death scene.

God the shot of Lucille running down the stairs from behind? Ugh! And with the flowing fabric behind her! Freaking gorgeous

*Edith goes down in the elevator* Bye bish

That is a huge freaking meat cleaver

Seeing Edith with her steak knife going up against Lucille reminds me of that freaking chainsaw fight from “Mandy” with Nicholas Cage

This final set piece!

*Edith goes up against Lucille with a shovel* MY NAME IS INIGO MONTOYA! YOU KILLED MY FATHER! PREPARE TO DIE!

*Ghost Thomas* Those prosthetics look amazing

*Ghost Thomas nuzzles against Edith’s hand before disappearing* God it’s the little movements. del Toro freaking GETS it

*nods when the end credits start*

#crimson peake #the blogger reacts #Guillermo Del Toro #jessica chastain #tom hiddleston #mia wasikowska #charlie hunnam #edith cushing #thomas sharpe #lucille sharpe #ckattack #doug jones

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sugar-petals · 4 years

Text

Your First Date With Baekhyun

:: bbh x sm apprentice!reader

words. 10k

warnings ⚠️ idol au hc, pining, brief angst, eventual car sex 👀, tw light injuries bc baek is clumsy in love, oral fixation, finger sucking, rough sex, making out

↳ NOTE. here we go again with the slow burn ✊🔥

It all starts with a divine act of clumsiness.

An accident, completely out of the blue.

Who is surprised, what else could it be.

Ever since Baekhyun violently bumped into you from behind in the SM cafeteria to avoid Mark spilling red hot Americano on him… life has never been the same.

That you walked in on him walking around mighty topless, with you wanting to clear the dance practice room many hours after work three times already does not help.

It’s always the same chain of events. He practices for longer than the others and gets sweaty, pulls off his shirt, pauses the music for a five-minute break. That’s unintentionally making it seem like everyone is already gone and the room is empty — you are deceived by it every time, and he almost gets a heart attack himself. We know how easily embarrassed Baekhyun is with showing skin by accident, outside of any shower stalls that is, let alone being caught stripping by himself.

The first time he screams and you scream, off you run after quickly shutting the door. He tries his best to cover himself up with his hands, but to no avail. Lucas, Kai, and Johnny are no longer the only Magic Mikes under this rowdy fucking roof anymore. Even if you turned around fast, you saw more than a whole lot.

You know how scared Baekhyun is by surprises, he gets all fidgety. Even after four whole minutes, he still sits with the music off breathing harder than he did from powering through four jointbreaking ligament-snappers I mean EXO choreographies.

Lot of thoughts on his mind, lot of blood pumping through him. Baekhyun can hear a pretty hefty heartbeat pound in his ears. Eventually, he shakes his head at himself and does switch the music back on. But even that doesn’t distract him, nor can he concentrate on the moves. He keeps on asking himself — what the hell is wrong, what is this, why does he act like that?

So, he ends up sneaking out of the room to call it a day. You were waiting in the nearby corridor to do the cleaning after he left. But now, you hide behind a shelf with props and miscellanea to avoid him.

Of course, Baekhyun comes to grab a water bottle from said cupboard. Well, oh shit. He has his shorts on, and his calves are literally 20 inches away from you. He doesn’t see you crouching down there, but your pulse is going through the roof now, too.

In fact, not even the days when Taeyong is walking around the company in a sexy as hell crop top could cause you such a panic. And that is the highest possible bar already. The average apprentice almost faints.

There’s pungent sweat that can knock you out of your socks… and then there’s sexy sweat scent mixed with men’s deodorant. Baekhyun leaves the latter after rushing out of the corridor. It’s even more intense in the practice room, if not absolutely unbearable. Oh boy. Pheromones, please no.

It’s almost as if you’re taking a bath in cologne. You’re getting nauseous and tingly from how it gets to you. You can hardly focus on scrubbing the mirror. If only the guy knew what horniness he is causing just by infusing the air, what the fucking fuck.

The second time, he jerks up again, but tries to explain himself. But so do you, ending up with a mutual, stuttering word spill in sync.

Neither of you understood what the other was saying because you were too busy with a knee-jerk dialogue. Anxious all over, you quickly leave and eventually end up hiding behind the cupboard again. The new comeback track blasts even louder in the practice room.

The third occasion, you no longer flinch at each other and laugh a little, mighty embarrassed still, but apologize with knowing eyes. This time, you enter the room after a small „Can I?“ and at least manage to clear some noodle boxes and unused towels from the backup dancers away, and pin a new schedule to the door.

Baekhyun quickly pulls over his plain white tee and keeps on mumbling sorry, sorry like he’s Super Junior, practically scraping the ground with his hair because he bows so deep.

You’ve never seen him this awkward. Instead of his usual one-liners and most effortless conversation starters, he resorts to switching on the music again after frantically looking everywhere but in your direction. He sings his lines right along, getting back into the routine’s intricate steps.

Strange.

Very strange.

All day, he is impulsive with lightening up just about any situation. One sentence, hook line and sinker; the mood alleviates. Not this time. He’s ignoring you now that you’re in the room.

The truth is: Baekhyun can’t help but set his pupper eyes on you in all other occasions already, especially when you’re busy at a distance. And it’s making him crazy. Next day at the cafeteria, he deliberately arrives late so he can queue way, way behind you.

For the first time in all glorious epochs K-Pop history, he would let Sehun enter the line before him so he would have a shield. „Maknaes first“ is his brief comment, and Sehun thinks that Baekhyun must squarely confuse today with his birthday.

And fate says… sike. Two minutes later, a teary Mark rushes toward you and loudly apologizes for the Americano disaster. „Baekhyun was not being impolite, it was me!“

As he says just that, he turns, points right at Baekhyun’s tomato red head peeking out from behind Sehun’s shoulders, and bows to him.

The whole cafeteria is witness, including Lee Soo Man.

And SHINee, who will have gossip material for five weeks because of this. Key is already taking notes.

And BoA — who’s giggling because she’s seen it all in the business and knows exactly what’s going on with Baekhyun and you. Oh. Lord.

Baekhyun wants to sink into the ground right then and there. He’s been found out again. Of course he has to step out from his lair now and bow back to Mark, take the blame and explain the whole incident all over, and comfort him with a string of appeasing words. Which he hates for four reasons at the same time. He embarrassed Mark, himself, disturbed you the way he bumped into your back, and now you saw him hiding from… precisely you. Little does he know you did, too.

Baekhyun quickly retreats to sit next to Sehun once again after Mark has calmed down and he, being the senior as always, has performed another 180° bow to you in front of the entire staff and idol audience, causing his oversized shirt to slip downward, way to his armpits.

Goodness gracious.

BoA is this close to shouting „get a room“ upon seeing Baekhyun stand in front of you with his stomach all bare until he has hastily tucked his shirt back into this place. Fast as it happens, you can’t hide your reaction face.

Chanyeol, sitting at a nearby table, does a telling reaction noise himself, and you can tell he’s read the situation to a T. Even worse, he’s whistling. You can fool a lot of people, but not Park „Radar“ Chanyeol. He’s a himbo incarnate, but this guy’s emotional intelligence is too damn strong, and he knows Baekhyun inside out. Oh shit, man.

The next ten minutes are fraught with a weird, sonorous mumbling in the room. Lee Soo Man doesn’t really get it, thank God. But the meaning of Baekhyun silently cowering behind Sehun while eating his kimchi stew is more than obvious to half of the people around. Baekhyun never fucking acts like this, even when he’s sad.

It’s like something is pushing the two of you into humiliating situations like that ever since you started to work at SM since last May. Literally Baekhyun can’t stop apologizing to you all day because he’s suddenly clumsy or the strangest situations happen.

Nope, he doesn’t do it on purpose. But yes, he finds himself enjoying your attention. So what is he going to do? This keeps being stuck on his mind. Especially because half of EXO, NCT, and SuperM is asking him what the hell is going on in three raging group chats at once.

And you? I don’t have to tell you how it feels like when Baekhyun stumbles over to squarely plant his cutesy baby face into your back. Firmly wrapping his hands around your waist on top of that not to fall over entirely. That feeling is locked into your muscle memory. And now, seeing him stripped down for the fourth time already? Goodbye to your sleep.

Special thanks to a jittery Mark for making this first hug I mean collision out of nowhere happen. Just to be sure: Mark really didn’t spill his coffee on purpose, nor did Baekhyun want to bump into you this hard. And we know Mark’s reflexes are usually fast enough to save the day. But he was about to host his first variety show all by himself, so you can imagine how shaky and distracted he was. And nobody will resent him — this is only all about you and Baekhyun… being the most repressed motherfuckers.

Baekhyun constantly almost-crashing into you somewhere or basically crawling on the ground before you makes for a second very shaky guy. What the hell is pulling him towards you wherever he goes? It’s even worse than Minseok moving one inch and accidentally smacking Baekhyun in the face.

It just goes on and on.

Following the second cafeteria embarrassment, the next Friday after lunch, you run into each other at the ground floor elevator exit so you would drop your fries. Yeah, extra crispy ones, with the best mayonnaise. Baekyhun has been feeling so guilty about his curse at this point that he orders extra fries for you at the cafeteria two times a week with his card. Which makes Chanyeol know dear Eros struck particularly hard. Because if he didn’t care, Baekhyun would pay it five times a week like he does for NCT every now and then. But if he does it only two times, something is at stake. He doesn’t want it to be apparent.

Baekhyun can’t even look you in the eye when he puts them on your tray. Instead, he quickly bows three times in a row and then disappears. This guy is a small puddle of blush.

Lee Soo Man cites him into his room to say what’s wrong soon, but all Baekhyun can blurt out is that he didn’t sleep well and the comeback song won’t get into his head. Which is not a direct lie, so.

Whatever you do, Baekhyun appears out of the blue and falls to your feet. Only two days later, he returns from shooting an MV and slips right in front of your office. Pretty much because his feet stumble over his own pants. You put the paperwork aside and check what the hell is going on outside. A dizzy Baekhyun straight-up hit his head at your door. He declines you helping him up because he knows that your touch is probably gonna make him fully insane. He walks around with a forehead patch during the comeback stage and people online think it’s the latest trend.

Somebody save this man.

The universe just keeps on arranging the silliest things to make shit happen, huh.

At this point, Baekhyun developing a full-blown apprentice crush is as obvious as Lucas being tall.

Now, the reality is. This man is Hitch, the Date Doctor. He notoriously handles crowds, can get along with anyone he’s put together with on camera, helps the other members to juggle their love life whenever they have a problem. Chen is probably a married man because of Baekhyun in one way or another. He isn’t really shy normally in his own words. But when it comes to his own crushes — classic case of everybody’s cupid who gives good advice they would need the most.

That Baekhyun is helpless with anything that digs beneath the surface of his usual interactions will show to you very soon. There’s tough Baekhyun, there’s cute Baekhyun, and then there’s an utterly speechless little bean who has an internal meltdown when you do as much as take the stairs together. The difference is staggering. He’s fidgety, tense, makes himself even smaller and first and foremost: Is impressionable to an extreme.

In short: Baekhyun has fully converted into a fake maknae.

It’ll show in staff meeting conversations on trivial things about the schedule that he wing-mans everybody but himself when shit hits the fan. He stutters in your presence. Baek’s a mess. Chanyeol takes Baekhyun to the side and raises his brows at him at least five times a day, as in wanting to say: „Are you ever going to do something about it?“

Baekhyun dodges the answer each time and preoccupies himself with social media. Fans will later say that he hasn’t uploaded as many Twitter replies, Youtube videos, and Instagram snapshots in his whole career. And Baekhyun is already quite active online so you can tell how much he’s spamming.

Secretly… hoping you see his online activity. Which you do.

You’ve memorized his five latest vlogs down to the cute little sound noises he’s making. Still, you hide behind the cupboard, and he is hiding behind an unsuspecting Johnny. Because Sehun is already grumbling about becoming a human shield, and Chanyeol would tease Baekhyun to the hell and back whenever you’re around.

Why does all of that happen? Why is he trying to escape?

The answer is, Baekhyun feels an overpowering respect towards you. He doesn’t know where it’s coming from, it’s something you exude. To the point where he isn’t able to clown you the way he does with others. It’s literally that bad.

On top of that, Baekhyun is frustrated that whatever extroversion he can switch on during broadcasts, fan meets, and with the other members is suddenly failing him. He tries hard to fall back to his usual humor, but you being around makes him act much more erratic. And, surprisingly reserved, believe it or not.

Eye contact will make him break whatever character he’s trying to tune into for the sake of keeping it together. The exact opposite will happen. All the blushing and boiling hot sweat gives him away. Your own heated af face he doesn’t even notice.

In his mind, he’s going through any possible way of mannerisms to get your attention all while not embarrassing himself. He gives confident SuperM leader Baekhyun a shot, comedian Baekhyun, too, and he will don a pokerfaced version of himself as a last option whenever you are close.

All unsuccessfully. He can’t keep the façade for long; he knows he’s acting strange and inconsistent that way. Do you even realize what you merely sitting in the same practice room is doing to this guy?

As you can tell…

It’s up to you to hit on him. Finding an unmistakable balance between being breathtakingly forward and overly subtle. The right way to ask him out is somewhere in between. The way you gauge it, Baekhyun is turned off by all kinds of brazen approaches, but doesn’t want to be nudged with satin gloves and feathers either.

However, you end up playing too lowkey at first try because you’re just as nervous. You think, maybe it’s good to find out how interested in me he will admit he is. Which, given how much he tries to conceal his feelings, turns out to be a difficult idea.

And — Isn’t is crystal clear he likes you a whole lot by the way he tries to retreat from everyone but you? Recently, fleeing to stand behind Lucas. Who has the most hiding surface and won’t question what Baekhyun is doing there all the time, unlike Johnny.

So, how do you learn that your plan is a bad idea? You try to involve yourself in NCT’s Friday night truth-or-dare where Baekhyun always joins to mess with everyone.

But that weekend, he interestingly excuses himself to „practice English, it’s urgent!“. Off he goes as soon as he sees that you are part of the lineup, looking like he’s seen a ghost.

So, that mission failed. You get Taeyong, Haechan, and Yuta twerking against you at the same time while wearing sailor moon outfits as a dare instead.

However: You still learned something from this. The way that even Haechan’s wild gyrating and arguably great ass did not have a single effect on you tells you that you really want someone else really damn bad. Hell, if Yuta Nakamoto winds against you and you feel nothing—

And, something else has become apparent to you.

Professional he is, Baekhyun establishes rapport even with people he dislikes or feels neutral about, but when his more vulnerable feelings are in the game, he runs from them.

Beside Chanyeol and BoA, you’re smart enough to begin seeing what clockwork ticks inside of him. When Baekhyun doesn’t try to get close to someone that’s around him so frequently, something is mighty wrong and his opinion about that someone must be an intense one. And it’s not because he hates that person, the opposite is the case.

He’s almost less afraid of you than his worries of ruining it.

But through what, you’re wondering, seriously.

On the other hand, you get why Baekhyun keeps a viable distance. He knows it’s difficult to be associated with him in the way he wishes you were. Since people were looking at him and you so strange in the cafeteria, he even stopped practicing in the after hours.

Two weeks later, he even quits buying you fries for lunch and eats in the recording studio instead. Chanyeol remains correct: Much is at stake.

After the truth-or-dare fail, you sit down in sobriety and go through your options. You get all sorts of grand ideas to reveal your feelings, but dismiss the majority of it. You have to start small, really small. This needs the utmost care. Especially because you don’t want to compromise him by accident any further, nor are you anywhere near as ballsy as you believe someone hitting on Byun Baekhyun needs to be.

Truth be told: BoA would kick your ass for thinking that. And letting so many opportunities pass, as if you aren’t beating yourself up for it enough. Idol mode Baekhyun, well, he would be hard to approach indeed. But what is currently going on… he’s literally showing you his underbelly. He’s begging you to do something.

That he avoids even the lightest touch: More than telling to BoA’s knowing eye. He would be so easy to sway with just one sentence. She knows that at this point, Baekhyun is desperate. His yes would come so fast. You’re far from having faith in this. But you still try. You want this man.

Eventually, you rack your brain for anything understated you could do.

Then, you get the idea.

After a schedule briefing, Baekhyun recently said he dearly wishes he could eat fried noodles in the early evening because he’s craving something savory, meanwhile flashing a split-second glance at you. Maybe… You can discreetly bridge the gap by getting him food.

You’re part responsible for doing things like that in the company already so nobody will question you driving around with your little motorbike.

If you think about it: That’s a good excuse to approach him frequently and visit his apartment. The move is calculated, but it’s what the situation requires. You can’t tell how Baekhyun will react, but if he looked at you this way, it’s worth a shot.

And so, you dare the impossible. You show up with a deliberately small portion of noodles after the last comeback stage, knock twice. He does open. You’re frozen up.

Uttering a hopefully neutral „You said you wanted this. I’ll also bring it tomorrow if you want,“ and then drive off again without even waiting for a reply from a very surprised-looking Baekhyun in PJs.

Sweating like crazy, thank God your helmet and the upcoming dark of the night was hiding your red cheeks. Shit man, that was robotic as fuck! is what you’re thinking for the entire ride home. Another fail, you sure won’t return tomorrow. Now you can’t look him in the eye, either.

Meanwhile:

The meal not only saves the day of Baekhyun’s usually very lackluster diet mood that comes out when he is by himself. It also makes him flustered and grateful, curling up on his couch. He couldn’t even remotely try to say no out of politeness or concerns for his food plan. Baekhyun breaks the chopsticks right away after closing the door. Today, his dog’s with him. Mongryong excitedly jumps up and down next to Baekhyun. Your visit was short and sweet, but it made two beans very happy.

In fact, he rips open the box and shoves a quarter of the content into his mouth in the blink of an eye. It’s not just how hungry he is. He’s also overwhelmed that you came to his house. He feels like it’d be the highest level of disrespect to throw it away to begin with, no matter how spartan his eating habits are supposed to be.

He almost views this little take-out box as a part of you. He imagines how you listened to him talk, decided to drop by, bought it with your own money, and carried it all the way to him. All that extra effort and attention he spins back and forth in his head for the whole next week.

And, on the spot, Baekhyun is so taken aback that he starts deep cleaning his apartment at midnight as soon as he finishes his noodles.

To your own initial shock, he also drops an envelope with money under your office door the next day. And you thought someone was sending threats.

You get the underlying message, though. This is something just between the two of you, and the envelope is a yes. For another meal. Actually, more than that. There are 30 sorted bills in it, each to buy one box since he knows where you get the food from and what the standard price is.

Payment for one month in advance. Meetings for one month in advance. This fucker.

And you thought your sweaty scene at his apartment left him confused or weirded out. Nope, he decided he wants this times thirty. Something you have to let sink in.

The next day you drive along at the same time, there’s nobody there.

Because Baekhyun has left the door open. Now you can’t just speed away again. Nor do you really want to, for God’s sake.

After putting your helmet down in the small entrance room, you find an anxiously waiting Baekhyun on the extremely cleaned up living room couch, sitting there with fidgeting feet like it’s a porn casting.

The tension could kill. You put the box on the table before him like it’s England’s Crown Jewels. You want to calm him down so desperately, but don’t know how.

Given his sparkly eyes set on the food, that he wants to devour what you brought him right away is not hard to overlook. But he still seems hesitant. Insecure. Baekhyun doesn’t manage to say a full word which is the most surreal thing. You work up your voice and pass him the chopsticks in their paper packaging. „Pig out. You didn’t eat since 7AM.“

Again, he breaks the chopsticks. Trying hard not to do it too fast.

You sit opposite to him and revert back to professional mode. Talking about statistics from the comeback that Baekhyun hummingly acknowledges the way he does when you talk to EXO in meetings.

He stuffs himself like his life depends on it. No stable eye contact from him.

Both of you know that it’s not what you want to say. But even ten minutes in: Nothing about the cafeteria, the fries, the envelope, the topless incident, the forehead patch, nothing. Just you going on about details from work and him listening, nodding, chewing, making brief little remarks and using all his standard corporate phrases. „Ah, yes, EXO surely benefits from that.“ But it’s a start. You begin small.

So far, so good. With every evening, the conversation becomes more and more two-sided and the meals bigger. A second envelope soon enters your office, covering the extra costs for the XXL boxes, your fuel, and another month worth of meals. Note: Only one and a half weeks in.

Fuck, you got yourself into something big. Is it because his dog likes you?

You are starting to like babying him like that, even if you both keep it serious. Unusually so, but at least you don’t get into any more accidents with that suspense off your either shoulders.

It’s not like that cute little face would leave you any chance in the first place. Baekhyun smiles shyly around you. His big laugh is sweeping, but the small things… lethal. Absolutely lethal.

His manager doesn’t like it, but his genius idol’s mochi factor is increasing since you bring him spicy, richer foods. Baekhyun declines most snacks he’s offered at work, hardly eats up at the cafeteria and gives it to Foodcas Xuxi instead, and even the stylists wished he would gain more weight without any results in their convincing acts. But when you bring him a large portion of extra al dente spaghetti or — as of recently — self-made black bean noodles, Baekhyun would consider it rude not to follow the call of the carbs.

Interesting.

He eats even more aggressively when he knows you made the food yourself.

Quickly enough, he pays either for take-out or ingredients meant for not one, but two people. You usually eat a little earlier than he does, but you would not trade the best luxury meal in the world eaten by yourself with being together in Baekhyun’s flat. To the average Joe, this would be the biggest hassle, but to you… there’s no way you can get enough of being around him so privately. You enjoy taking the time to buy food for him. Taking the time in general.

You’re not the only one.

I don’t have to tell you how Baekhyun has to fight getting a vicious hard-on with sitting opposite to you with your motorcycling jacket peeled down to the hip, right inside a staring-not staring-staring-not staring match while you both slurp on your noodle soup pretending to be apprentice and idol.

It’s… bizarre. And hot. And bizarre. And frustrating.

You both don’t know where to take all of this. You end up making it a rock-solid daily routine, but not going any further than that because you are afraid. The excuse: Never change a running system.

In the meantime, Baekhyun works out even more. Not to compensate for the calories or to get rid of the increasingly chubby cheeks. Nope, it’s to impress you and show his fitness, plain and simple. At times, the music once again blasts in the practice room after everyone left. You come in to clear the room with Baekhyun in one of his very tight tank tops.

You greet each other softly smiling. The familiarity really does begin to show. While you sort and organize, he writes you a little note on what to get for food tonight. He scribbles a little „:3“ emoji underneath.

You think about that for at least two hours before you drive to his apartment.

So, yeah. Something is going on with him regardless of both of you trying to keep your routine stable and CIA-level secret.

He finds himself cringeworthy when he carries seven stacked up chairs to a group meeting at once just because you’re attending. But something in him can’t help it, for the love of God. At least in this regard, he thinks, something is running on autopilot in terms of flirting methods. Meaning, he really does hide less and less.

Meanwhile, Lucas’ eyes are falling out because Baekhyun is mustering new levels of strength nobody suspected he had. In the most random situations, even. Baekhyun’s fitness trainer is also living one hell of a life because his protégée is so eager these days. Mastering everything from weights to pilates. Hormones are one hell of a drug.

Kai frequently remarks that Baekhyun is different. „He’s nagging much less, what’s going on, why, why!“ he says to Taemin on the regular, and they invent all kinds of theories.

Since Baekhyun doesn’t want to miss out on your daily evening visit nor spend 8 hours in the gym, that means: He increases the intensity of the work-outs. For two and a half weeks, he is completely knocked out afterwards.

And so… it happens.

Baekhyun falls asleep before your visit. The door he has opened beforehand as always, but you enter a dim room with dozing Baekhyun splayed on the bed in his red carpet outfit from earlier that day. He worked out in the morning, did some hosting, talked his soul out in an interview, attended an award show, drove home, and eventually collapsed in the sheets. Lights out.

You put the rice box and cake slice you brought along on his desk. He looks so cute when he dozes, but you also hate disturbing his sleepy angel hours. Especially because you know how worn-out his schedule has left him and you feel sorry for it.

You feel weird for standing there with your take-out and want to hurry outside as fast as possible, but leave a note.

For the first time in weeks, you eat dinner in your own flat.

After forcefully waking up at 3AM due to his usual sleep cycle being off balance, Baekhyun falls into a spiral of regrets. Once it dawns on him what time it is and he must have missed your visit, he buries his face in his palms sitting at the edge of the bed.

He resents himself for neither cleaning up his bedroom properly nor staying awake even more so, no matter how eventful his day was. He imagines how you must have seen him sleep, probably in the most humiliating, unflattering position and with terrible hair, judging him for being rude, forgetful, unattractive, messy, and probably a thousand other things.

Until… he finds the note. That one gives him a second almost-heart attack, but an adrenaline-fueled one this time. He stumbles back onto his bed and reads it twenty times over.

„Rest well and dig in. Don’t worry. Text if you’re okay. 03304 68010113.“

After three typos in your number, almost choking on cold rice because he eats so passionately, and several minutes of going back and forth on sending something, he kicks his own ass and writes a little „I’m ok, I’m very very sorry! I’m an idiot 😭“. After you reply that he has no reason to apologize, he rambles on about how he wishes that he’s not being an inconvenience to you with a whole row of sad and dejected emojis.

You hate that Baekhyun feels put on the spot and obliged because of you this way and try to think hard about how to solve the dilemma. You won’t try to stop the rain of his apologies by telling him to calm down because you know it’ll make it worse, and instead decide it’s time to get going.

The opportunity is now, and there’s only one.

‚So, I have an idea—“

Going to the groovy little underground pizza restaurant downtown is something that Baekhyun immediately accepts as a suggestion. He wants to compensate for his dozing, but he also knows that this is a whopping chance more than anything.

And… a covert first date.

He knows that’s what it is. It’s about leveling up now.

Before you can write that you’ll treat him and he can relax, he gets firm with insisting that you will pay not a single dime. You know that it’s not just his overworking conscience speaking. It’s also the only way Baekhyun gets an occasion to express that he takes this very seriously via text.

That he wants to repay you and aims to get the most out of meeting up is something you realize when he steps out of the wardrobe room the next evening after everyone in the company has gone home.

The stylists he has told that he needs to try this particular outfit on for some time to get used to it. „I need to dance in this, so.“

Actually, it is meant for EXO performing at the Oscars next week, but he got away with the excuse and a promise to take care.

And… he really did the rest of the styling all by himself. He’s turned into a glamorous neat freak. Every shiny hair glued into its desired place, freshly dyed honey blonde with soft brunette roots.

In fact, who walks at you is a wholly different Baekhyun in a dark, reddish-violet satin suit, pointy black shoes, matte black tie, mature sultry eye shadow, black square sunglasses pushed up into his hair, his signature lipstick, with a distinct statement tote bag, and black lace socks. I repeat: Lace. This is the fanciest anybody has ever headed to eat $6.50 pizza at a tube station. I mean wow, just wow. The tailored shoulders and how tight the tux cinches in at the waist is on par with Kai’s Obsession crop top.

Even the much more expensive award show outfit from last week looks like a potato sack compared to how much he dolled himself up and reinvented literally every inch about himself. Like you have to prevent yourself from drooling.

Yep. He. Means. Business.

Funnily enough, Baekhyun realizes his zeal and just how much he is trying to impress you at all costs when you turn up with your standard khaki trench coat, bunny print umbrella, and casual white sneakers that have seen World War 1 and 2. You know, just the way you always come to his apartment and the way it’s inconspicuous.

Going by his face… he starts to overthink his esteem. You can see how his expression becomes mortified. You promptly decide to put an end to his self-conscious back and forth through taking him by the hand.

„You’re the best-looking man in the world and I’m asking you for a date. Are you comin’ or are you not?“

You then make it particularly clear to him that if anything, this right in front of you is very much authentic Baekhyun and not someone else you’re in for after all. And, that you’re both in your genuine form tonight the way it’s gotta be, the way you know each other and the reason why you decided to do this. Boom.

Four-step Greek style sermon for tonight: Delivered.

Now he’s gaping at you too much to beat himself up. That mission is very much accomplished. Modern problems apparently require ancient rhetoric. You’re in a kick-ass mood tonight. I dunno, anybody would be, Baekhyun’s accentuated sense of style has the historic potential to make girls reckless.

Baekhyun’s hand is heated like an Icelandic geyser and his heartbeat rate would make the average rabbit look like an amateur. Believe it or not — it’s the first time you’re deliberately touching. It’s ridiculous.

You head to the company garage, he churns out five jokes in a row on how he must look like a Korean Elton John on the way to his best-of concert, you laugh… Baekhyun feels better. Three times as nervous compared to when you usually come to his flat, but better nevertheless. And he drives, so.

He feels like he’s catching up and giving something back, no matter that you feel he doesn’t have to, but to him, it’s important.

You joke back to him how it’s a little bit funny — Elton John pun intended — that you saw every inch of Baekhyun’s apartment at this point already but this is the first date. The world is upside down, but it’s SM Entertainment, so. Things get started in different ways, but they do.

That realization is getting to him, too. Baekhyun’s peacock alter ego emerges to bolt over the motorway like a lovedrunk Lewis Hamilton with a foot glued to the gas pedal, but also checks fifty times for how you feel in the passenger seat. Asking about how you like it, if the A/C is set to how you want it, whether your seat is tilted the way you enjoy it. Damn, he really is on edge.

On top of that, said alter ego maneuvers him right into a 3-kilometer outer ring traffic jam before his innocent self even realizes it. More time to chat… more time to sit so close… more time you get to savor the comfort of his luxurious car. So that was a Freudian slip with a steering wheel right there.

You already know that Baekhyun has never tried as hard to make somebody like him. You compliment his taste in cars vice versa to take that pressure off before he turns into a nervous wreck entirely. And then, also adding that you could get used to this which makes Baekhyun feel like a billion Won. His eyes are downcast, his cheeks are beaming. Figures, light superpowers and such, we know the deal.

Meanwhile, that you really like him already and for a long time is something you challenge yourself to make more than apparent to him. If he’s still this desperate about pleasing you and unsure about how he comes across, there’s some work to do. This guy needs a sign. A football field-sized one. If Baekhyun’s demon is his self-worth tonight, yours is being a lot more demonstrative. You’ve been far too indirect with him all day every day.

That you’re outside of both your professional spheres actually helps: Big fucking time.

Easing him into a conversation happens surprisingly smooth when you recount visiting his apartment and seeing him sleep so beautifully. Which you say was the most gratifying thing which is the truth. It’s been on his mind, hearing about your relief makes a lot of things plague him less.

You also add how you enjoy bringing him food just because. That he’s nice and good company, even when he sleeps. That assures Baekhyun and makes him laugh.

And yes. He ends up serenading you throughout the entire traffic jam. And yes. When Baekhyun is in love, his singing is particularly on point. You can hear the cherry on top in his registers. No need for the stereo, you can ask him to sing any song you like.

The traffic jam disperses after 20 minutes, Baekhyun has interpreted your entire favorite playlist at this point. Arriving feels like way too soon.

You put your trench coat over Baekhyun while he exits the car. There’s hardly anyone around in this part of the town but who knows, making sure not to mess up his hair in the process. Both of you hurry to the stairs leading underground. Meanwhile, the car is parked quite stealthily behind a closed-down fish restaurant with dusty windows.

It feels good to walk around with Baekhyun right by your side.

The surroundings are cluttered with trash and only few people wait at the tube station that opens up before you with every step downwards. It’s actually perfect as a getaway. There are mostly older businessmen on shift at first glance.

It’s colder out in the open and surrounded by surfaces of concrete, the car was like a spa by comparison. Baekhyun takes the initiative to put the trench coat back onto your shoulders. You feel flattered and you smile at each other, and walk on with synchronized steps. The pizza bar is almost within sight. In the meantime, the digital board announces the tube arriving in five minutes. He takes your hand.

And then… some real bullshit goes down.

A group of seven scraggly-looking teens lounge on a bench, roughly 200 meters before the pizza bistro. You have to pass the bench close-by given how narrow the walking space next to the train tracks is.

One of them, the tallest of the bunch, coarsely shouts at you. „How much did that prostitute cost and where does he keep his money, huh?“ He sticks his wriggling tongue out right along. The others are ogling Baekhyun’s shoes and chest pockets, preying and laughing and sneering. It dawns on you that you should’ve asked for one more song in the car.

The mood tips. One of the boys sitting on the left side of the bench starts fiddling with a 3-inch switchblade. And then, something flicks the switch inside you, too. Your Kyoong-protect-o-meter goes through the roof faster than Baekhyun can get his car to the speed limit.

Cue She-Hulk transformation. In an onslaught of your inner wrestling diva claiming her rights, you take matters into your own hands by hurling Baekhyun’s glitzy designer bag at the guy’s surprised face. Sorry Versace, it had to be done. The whole group gasps out loud. While they’re still caught off guard, you go on to lunge forward and furiously whack greasy knife guy and two other approaching attackers with your Roger fucking Rabbit umbrella using a windmill-motion martial arts technique you came up with from scratch. Baekhyun doesn’t even have to duck… being smol has its advantages.

The switchblade is sent flying into a bin. Point landing. You proceed to rip into the group to helicopter your improvised weapon in circles until it threatens to plow down the better of them and they back away squealing and pleading. Britney would be so damn proud of you, I’m telling ya.

Needless to say, the mortally terrified group runs and disperses into the arriving tube, probably booking their therapist appointments for Monday morning already. You pick up the bag for Baekhyun a little breathless, dust it off, and say a prayer. Holy shit.

What the hell just happened. Literally, what the fucking fuck.

An entirely wide-eyed Baekhyun still can’t believe that a whole group of sleazy guys twice as tall as him took an unhinged windmill beating by you to prevent a robbery, and meanwhile he is the martial arts champion. Like, hello? He’s been a Hapkido instructor with several gold medals. How many black belts does the guy have again? He could mow down fifty of that kind and pulverize anyone of them with a mere NCT-style kick. This is ridiculous. He’s mighty impressed.

A few businessmen at the station are looking at you from afar with open mouths. You wave and give a thumbs up signalling all is okay. The security personnel reviewing the CCTV the next day is down for a ride. You hope that there are no headlines with pictures of this. Tube brats get their ass busted by cartoon bunny at 2:15 AM. K-Pop star Baekhyun defended by mysterious umbrella wielder gone wild.

You take a deep breath, brush off your coat. „Um. Moving on I guess.“ Then, interlink arms with Baekhyun, strolling on toward the restaurant. Looking around everywhere, still a little shocked. Walking off your relief helps, as is looking forward to eating. Damn, you do outrageous things when you’re hungry.

The restaurant is the size of the practice room at best, lit with white neon and decorated with Italian flags in every corner. The empty seats are designed like in an American diner from the 80s.

The lanky six-foot-something waiter, Luigi Roberto Maranello Salvatore (his nameplate is really in-depth about this), hurries to the door when he sees how Baekhyun is dressed and probably thinks the King of Korea just arrived. Which he, in fact, did, but that’s beside the point.

You sit at the very back and get comfortable after breaking your last sweat. An enthusiastic Luigi presents to you the latest ‚delicious couple menu options’ and promises to use the best toppings he can offer. You instantly trust him, Luigi has the most accurate mustache you’ve ever seen.

Baekhyun and you share a huge plate of the curiously named ‚Pizza Puppy Love‘ that might be better described as a circle-shaped late night gala buffet. You dig in because damn, fighting thugs makes hungry, and Baekhyun stuffs himself given how it’s his favorite meal. Luigi sees that you are avid eaters and way too busy looking at each other, so he disappears in the kitchen, proud of setting the mood just perfectly.

In the meantime, Baekhyun says that he thinks of hiring you as a sasaeng protection machine. You muse how the umbrella is sturdier than you thought and you wouldn’t hesitate to use it again now that you think about it. Being Baekhyun’s Jarvis is not a bad thought, actually. Beating up rascals for him is your newly discovered love language.

In fact: Whatever took over inside of you and made you lose your chill, Baekhyun is mighty curious about. He thinks that was very sexy. You get the feeling that this guy could like dangerous women. He might have picked that up from Taemin, credits to him.

After Baekhyun has dramatically recounted the umbrella incident at least five times, the conversation goes on about your embarrassing hiding stories, how hilariously over- and underdressed you are as a unit, and you teasing him about „speeding on the highway, are we“. Baekhyun teases you back about how you acted like his manager with your trench coat over his head. He kind of has a point and you call it a tie.

Seeing Baekhyun all full with his beloved pizza and acting so carefree in his Oscar suit is a cute sight. You take the liberty to cut a particularly large slice out of the puppy pizza UFO and feed him.

If it’s a couple menu, you gotta act like it.

Baekhyun is making some mighty heart eyes at you, and so — you decide to take it a little further. This whole fight thing made you forget you’re on a goddamn date after… a whole year of eyefucking and that it’s about time to close the gap.

Luigi is wholly busy making order in the kitchen and Baekhyun has some tomato sauce stuck at the side of his mouth. Convenient. You take the chance to wipe it off with the tip of your right digit.

He realizes what you’re doing and promptly grabs your hand to keep it right where it is. Uh-oh. His tongue darts out, he licks right across your finger. To top it off, he starts to suck it, too. With a typical nonchalance. Seeing how you almost combust, he takes another finger into his hot mouth. And sucks a little more. His lipstick smudges onto your hand. His eyes are like hot coals and the pupils are all blown. Oh my, my, my.

If you’re just playing, don’t you ever give Baekhyun anything to escalate on like that, ever. The way you were ready to knock down the seven guys, he is ready to get physical once the first step is done. Though, the thing is. You’re not playing. It’s exactly the type of fodder that you’ve been craving to give him. Baekhyun’s oral fixation is something else.

The rest of the pizza is gone in five minutes…

…and Luigi gets the tip of his life.

You walk to the car in much faster steps than before. Even if it’s later than late, nobody is around anymore except a sleeping beggar on the other side of the station. No danger in sight whatsoever. There’s a different reason to get going like that this time and there’s no way you can mentally prepare yourself for what’s coming.

Back to the fish restaurant, back to the car spa. Nobody on the streets, anywhere. This night, Baekhyun does not feel even remotely tired, though.

After you put your umbrella in the trunk — you will honor it much more from now on — the driver’s and passenger’s seat stay empty for half an hour and a little more. Now, the actual stereo is on. There’s a lot to catch up with on the backseat.

Baekhyun puts Delight on repeat, and queues City Lights just because. Guy knows what good music and singing sounds like. You interlock hands and call him pretty. Baekhyun is flustered, but all the more eager.

It takes barely a minute until you get serious with making out on top of him and grind on his lap like the world ends. The satiny fabric is too tempting not to gyrate all over it in your jeans. Lord knows his legs are great. You know what you signed up for. Those thighs are so delicious to straddle, you can’t even imagine.

Baekhyun gazes at you so intently and ready, whispering his little you-can-do-anythings and tell-me-all-you-wants, it’s like magic.

To top it off, kissing his little pouty lips has got to be the best thing, running your hands through his sexy hair — even more so. Your mouth and fingers have been begging you to do this. Begging.

From there, your hands go places. His neatly razored nape of the neck, his waist, the chest. His suit, all that expensive fabric, his gentle skin, it’s so nice to the touch. He smells so hot. Bergamot, cinnamon, and sweet, deep, rich and soothing sandalwood. „Girl, I’m your Candy“ gets a whole new meaning. Practice room memories. As if you aren’t wet enough already.

By the last minute of the second track, Baekhyun is already hooked kissing your neck and does some very daring acrobatics with his tongue. And you thought the pizza would satiate him. Nope, he eats you up like a whole salad bowl of black bean noodles with three pounds kimchi and ten fried eggs stacked on top. In his own words I mean lyrics: Game over.

The desperation and nervosity adds even more sloppiness and hunger. These have got to be the lewdest slurping and sucking noises you’ve ever heard. You can’t help but curse the ugliest things. Something’s pretty damn hard through the front of his tux already.

Baekhyun feels that you feel it and the kissing becomes even more frantic. His whole body says: Grind more. Please. Please.

By the time the fourth track starts, Baekhyun’s entirely wet mouth wanders upward. Here goes the French kissing madness. You glide your hips back and forth on his bulge, and his tongue is already winding inside of you like it’s advanced singing lessons. It’s so unreal that you have to grab hold of his upper arms to stay in place. Shit, this guy.

You can tell that this… is his absolute forte. Nobody can fuck with Baekhyun when it comes to outrageous mouth and throat technique. Your tongue gets a sense of how confident he is in his lip service and works his way into it. Now you know how it feels when Byun Baekhyun pays back your attention. Holy Luigi’s Cannoli, he has so much fun. Way, way too much fun. Like Sir, this is a Wendy’s.

And that’s the last damn straw. Really, the last one. You can’t do this shit anymore. You ask for condoms.

After freezing up for at least ten seconds, he nods his little head about ten times in a row. It’s as if he can’t actually believe it and didn’t just kiss the shit out of you with the hardest dick in history.

„Okay, I’ll—“

Baekhyun keeps them in a yellow puppy-shaped bag under the driver’s seat and takes three torturous minutes to get them from there since it’s underneath and behind other random things. Which means you get to look at his ass for said time because he is bent forward between the two front seats. It’s not like you’ve never seen Baekhyun from behind, but never this close nor in a suit as tight since he usually wears baggy things. So. He’s not just big in the front, then. For his build? That is Korea’s ass.

And the condoms? You expected they were in his tote or his suit within one reach and rip. Nope, Baekhyun did not leave the company building with intentions. He’s been managing this raging boner for a whole year and did not make any moves on you in his apartment where he could have had you on any available surface in two minutes. Baekhyun wasn’t close to even remotely ask for literally anything. He just sat there on the couch with restless legs, ruffled hair, and an open mouth while hearing you talk. You don’t want to imagine how intensely he must have gotten off. Which he, in fact, did.

He didn’t deliberately plan sex in a specific place for the first date either. Instead, he was prepared for— what exactly? A slight eventuality? Now that you think about it: Going by how he dressed himself, what Baekhyun probably thought he could get out of this was: A compliment. Even if all of your evening visits were nothing but hardcore sexual tension and this was the chance to bring that to an end. Let that sink in.

This guy’s self-control is not only astronomical, but also completely astounding given his usual character. In fact, you thought he would be entirely sovereign with this. How could he not? He’s Baekhyun!

Going by all that… You conclude that Baekhyun must really feel like he does not deserve you. His shame and self-denial must go through the roof. Given how his deeper insecurities have been in plain sight, it actually makes sense. Looks like you’re the one bringing them out, whatever it is that you do. It’s pretty tough knowing that you rouse something as vulnerable in him but it’s as good as it is bad. You find him very brave and incredible for letting it show. Honestly? It’s better than pushing through all of this pretending.

Plus — You really must have given him the impression that he can look but not ever touch. While that’s the entire opposite of what you want.

To be fair: Having Baekhyun openly touch you in the company would have been a dangerous act. Even more so than say, you touching him, (which would have been somewhat possible, look at stylists and managers casually or work-relatedly doing skinship). Because that means that the availability his profession suggests to the world is no longer a thing and his mind is set on one person. Which, in his field, is social death.

That’s why Baekhyun could only ever touch you by virtue of circumstances and whatever higher forces arranging accidents where he bumped into you. Talk about indirect ways. The universe gave you what you wanted, but in a way where there was always the excuse of bad luck and no possibility of other people finding out about your feelings. Risky love breeds risky circumstances.

The same with showing his body or knocking at your door to get your attention. He knows he can’t do that, can’t ask for it. So what happens? You accidentally walk in on him, or he crashes against your office entrance after slipping.

The same with treating you, spending time together, getting taken care of by you. Baekhyun found himself wishing for it. So it happened that you spilled your fries and he bought them for you all over, and he was begging for fried noodles so the opportunity to meet surprisingly came about. The accidents themselves both of you didn’t want nor deliberately stage, but you very much wanted the results of them. Directly you could not express your feelings, not even Baekhyun. That’s how it all came to be and now you see just how much he wants to be close to you in so many ways.

That he feels ashamed and undeserving — that shocks the living hell out of you.

So, all right then, keeper. Time to show you otherwise.

It’s crazy how he thinks you’re the one off limits and not him. Then again, he’s not the guy with the savage umbrella technique.

Since his hand is too shaky, you slip one on him and start to ride him without any further ado. You’re already leaking so what’s left to fiddle around about. No wasting any time here.

The deal is as good as sealed. He feels fucking great inside of you and his wide eyes are the most rewarding thing. Whatever dimension Baekhyun just broke through, the level of whipped is not possible to be described with any human words. His hands are roaming over you pretty much without aim, you can tell your body is too much for him.

After he’s begging you to do it roughly, you grab him by the collar and fuck his soul out until he’s all gasping because his dick hurts. The song’s called Are You Ridin’ with good reason.

Baekhyun’s brains are long screwed out at this point, if not reduced to absolute green and purple jello. Is there actually any mind to lose at this point after you had your fingers in his mouth? Like literally, his favorite thing? Probably not.

He bites down into his sleeve. Baekhyun is all knocked out by you by the time you get to your second orgasm, and reclines on the backseat bench to starfish the rest of the thing with his mouth hanging open at you. Hormone overload. His entire body shut down except the will to keep it up and not come. Yum, he is fit. Where he takes that godly strength from, only higher powers can tell. The Tree of Life, Zeus, Ten Chittaphon, I don’t know.

He just has the kind of dick you can really bounce on. Really. Fucking. Hard. You are one spark of insanity close to run on autopilot. I don’t think anybody’s growled like this on him before. Nor was Baekhyun’s cock this close to falling right off, ever.

This is not sex, it’s a crazy as fuck pounding, with Baekhyun on the verge of being blacked out with drool on his chin and his eyes rolling back. His fingers are absentmindedly trailing down your upper back and all he can utter is a small, yearning „please, please“ and gritting „don’t stop, please don’t stop…“ between his teeth. And hell, you have not a single reason to. Cue Captain America, I can do this all day.

When other people say smashing, whatever they’re referring to is not as smash as this. This must be the dirtiest, wettest slapping noise you’ve ever heard, and Baekhyun’s entirely uncontrolled moans will be forever etched into your memory. So melodic, so goddamn excited and desperate and all fucked out. He’s groaning so well, it’s like it’s meant for you.

By the third time you come, he’s crying and whining and has to cover his mouth not to scream out loud. You have no idea what your body is doing, but whatever it is, it’s taking Baekhyun out. Even you tire after some time, but you keep going. You imagine that every thrust is the meal and attention you wanna give to him.

That’s a lot of fucking and edging you get done in half an hour. Baekhyun’s tongue is hanging out afterwards and you went through a whopping three condoms. So much frustration finally released. Baekhyun’s gonna be emptier than Suho’s wallet after Sehun ordered a lifetime supply of bubble tea.

You squarely avoid oozing your own cum onto his backseat with one hand. Good lord that creampie would ruin everything if he didn’t wear a condom. You’ve come a long way since colliding in the cafeteria, not gonna lie.

And thank God you’re not fucking somewhere in the company and the Audi is close to soundproof because this guy is LOUD. You need some good eardrums to handle these moans. Unhinged is an understatement. If this becomes a contest outwhoring each other, he’d win by a landslide.

By the time you slip off, Baekhyun is on the verge to the dreamland, you milked every last drop out of him. Which means…

…you get to drive an expensive as fuck Audi through Seoul. Your beatdown with the tube thugs you try to refrain from boasting about, but this one you are tempted to brag about to yourself for the next week. Well, in your mind. Just a little bit. It’s a great car. And you feel giddy in your body all over. That’s what sex with Baekhyun does to you.

Seoul traffic is tame around this time. Half in his sleep, Baekhyun hums and sings on the driver’s seat. He’s all sober, but you made the guy act a lil’ drunk, huh. In his element, he talks and talks and talks and talks a little more. Then, does his tiny 'ㅅ' pup face and dozes for half the ride. Sleeping angel hours.

You can’t really scold him for passing out so fast in the slightest. As always, he went who knows how many extra miles just for you. That includes vowing to hand-wash his Oscars suit because it’s fucking ruined. Since the stylists are guaranteed to flame him, you send the fashion department a message how Baekhyun has to wear a different suit because he’s simply too dummy thick for this one, especially as far as the pants are concerned. Which is almost no lie and they will believe you.

Much like his name suggests, Baekhyun does go hundred. At his apartment, you basically have to carry him into the bedroom. He says he doesn’t want to sleep. But you won’t kiss him goodnight after you pull off your jacket without a strong word on how his health has to be priority. He gets the point when you say you wouldn’t have had a first date without Baekhyun dozing off before your evening visit.

Sweet baby Jesus, you’d still be awkwardly slurping noodles without Baekhyun’s faux pas. If you look back at it: It’s all a story of accidents that turn out beautiful.

Sleep being Baekhyun’s reset button, that’s the best thing to do in order to give the night a good conclusion. Being alone in his apartment together, you don’t have to discreet about sleeping next to him after setting the alarm clock.

Mark Lee’s piping hot Americano is the culprit for all of this, but you thank him.

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