nishaapologist

[nishaapologist]

you see when i first concept a character i have no idea where they'll go or what they'll become over time but i can tell you now i would not have laid down money for andy slowly morphing into a boything

[nishaapologist]

started writing a short thing. had a vision. dropped everything to concept art it. thing still isn't written. c'est la vie.

[nishaapologist]

positive affirmations

[nishaapologist]

i'm levelling up my first fallout 76 character who i've had since the beta to finally hit level 50 (i stopped playing her, and the game, at level 41 until my valiant return december of last year) and my god is she a time capsule of the meta back then. her camp is entirely wooden. no decorations. no gun specialisations because back then ammo was so scarce guns were useless. no resource generators. no lunchboxes. no nothing. completely bereft. i'm leaving her first camp untouched as a museum.

[nishaapologist]

but that still isn't addressing my point, see? cross is a lyons loyalist to the marrow; she was one of the OG people on the expedition, is the second highest ranking member behind sarah, and fully 100% believes in owyn's messages. she even rolls with james AND the lone wanderer so long as they have VG karma!!! even if there was no foul play, removing the reactor from rivet city alone would be a line too far, never mind removing manpower from a still struggling DC to chase down ghosts in a different city. she's staunch in her beliefs, and there is no way in hell she would budge on those given the kind of person she is. she would not allow arthur to destroy lives to follow the brotherhoods original mandate hell or high water, so either she's dead or she walked out—and letting her walk out would be a CRAZY choice given she knows... everything! she's a whole informational leak on two legs!!!

as for the pride... i mean, the same thing still stands? if they dissolve the pride, putting them in the rank and file again would be like releasing hornets into a children's park when arthur changes the brotherhoods tune. they'll rightfully point out he was sarah's ward and her vision was the same as her fathers; that would be disappointing her! that would completely oppose everything she and her father wanted! you know THE PEOPLE WHO RAISED HIM??? there's no way the pride—all very outspoken—who shut the hell up and quietly roll with his plans. look at them. they're so fucking opinionated. i adore them.

(also kodiak. like. KODIAK. from the PITT. life SAVED by owyn. he is not going quietly.)

like saying cross is still in d.c. watching over things would require such a huge amount of certain bizarre things happening in such a specific collapse of events that even if it was written into the canon (and that would give the writers just a BIT TOO MUCH CREDIT) it's one hell of a reach.

[nishaapologist]

see the real kicker in this sort of situation vis-a-vis sarah lyons is that one (or two i guess) crucial questions are at play, with the first one being where is star paladin cross? where's the pride?

like okay gamers some of you are taking the 'sarah falls in battle' line at full face value saying there's no conspiracy or anything and that we truthers are making shit up (evidently you have no concept of the unreliable narrator or even a narrator who straight up lies, which is probably how todd gets away with so many crimes), but if we say that is true and sarah falls in battle with no foul play are you saying whatever took her out ALSO took out cross and the ENTIRE PRIDE? and if that's true (which there is no textual evidence for regardless) then why the fuck is it never addressed???? the pride is/was full of the ELITE before we even talk about Firstname 'Robocop' Cross and their loss would be actually genuinely HUGE in the brotherhood. so surely that would be addressed in some way.

but if there WAS A COUP and the truthers are right (as we always are #iwanttobelieve) the disappearance of both the pride and cross never being addressed makes a concerning amount of sense. after all they're the most loyal to the lyons way. they'd kick up one hell of a stink if something untoward happened. but making them suddenly disappear to random accidents and such... well ain't that a thing?

'but murphy,' some of you gamers may cry. 'what if they just agreed with maxson's messaging?'

yeah because star paladin Firstname 'Tear Thy Ass Asunder' Cross would totally change the tune she's been committed to for over thirty years because a ten year old kid who'd have been better off being blasted into a scrap piece of tissue asked her nicely. are you crazy. and of course the pride who were basically sarah's lifelong bodyguards would totally sign up to throw away all of her values on a whim. of course. how could i have been so foolish.

anyway. gamers can't read. which isn't surprising but it sure it annoying.

[nishaapologist]

😈 You are not bound by the Hays code.

😈 You are allowed to have evil characters who are not punished by the narrative by the end of the story.

😈 You are allowed to have evil characters who win.

😈 You are allowed to have evil characters who make evil look fun and cool.

😈 You are allowed to make your fun, cool evil character the protagonist.

😈 You are allowed to glorify, romanticize and eroticize evil characters and villainous acts.

😈 You are not obligated to teach your audience a moral lesson.

[nishaapologist]

so the new headset i got came with clipping software that alerts when you make a Loud Sound so i combed through the variety of things it captured and edited them into a compilation. please enjoy.

[nishaapologist]

redrawing slowly but surely

[nishaapologist]

no! safe sane consensual sex between andy and nisha will kill the patient! they need insane problematic sex to live!

[nishaapologist]

also there's no one stopping you from loving a badly written woman. in fact sometimes a badly written woman will crawl inside your brain and live there forever.

[nishaapologist]

so fallout 76 added their Best Builds thing where certain builds will show up across servers to be Liked by players who come across them, and i of course had to submit The Kill And Grill: You Kill It, We Grill It! these are the pictures i used in the preview, so if you see it in your server under the name 'Nuka Raider Diner' PLEASE!!! please give me some likes. do you know how much real world money went into this stupid thing (too much)

[nishaapologist]

i know i haven't covered it yet but andy is a con artist and you should never ever ever play cards with him

[nishaapologist]

durga, canonically: has 21 (actually 20) lines of dialogue. does nothing goes nowhere just sells you things very begrudgingly.

my durga: hyper-competent spite-driven soldier who gives sarah a run for her money who was shafted by the brotherhood when they put her in the position of quartermaster because training a new scribe for the job was simply "too time-consuming" leading the friendship between durga and sarah and dusk to break down as she watched her best friends go into the pride whilst she was trapped in the fucking basement and wasted years of her life handing out uniforms instead of being on the field, only released back into field duty when sarah—still bedridden from saving the lone wanderer from the purifier—put her in the pride in her spot whilst she recovered ultimately leading the three of them to rekindle their friendship just in time for durga to watch sarah become so completely crushed by the position of elder that durga's already poor opinion of the brotherhood tanks into the ground and never re-emerges

[nishaapologist]

there used to be this OC As Companion meme going around tumblr a while back, and there was one that was modified for fallout 4 that included different affinity levels? anyway i copy-pasted it and started filling it out but now i CANNOT find the one i used as reference. google search puts out a couple but they don't seem to include all the affinity stuff??? if someone has seen the one i mean please...... message it to me.....

[nishaapologist]

getting older and looking at ur own ocs like okay i know i said you were like 16-19 when i made you at 13 but no fucking way. youre 25 now