#i still have no idea how/why it disappeared? always had to go through my activity page for it lmao rip

[chitsangenthusiast]

i guess the perks of the horrendous new tumblr layout is that i finally got my quick link access to my inbox again lol

[dragonmonstermilk]

i finally found your blog......... monster fuckers unite

uhhhh is it okay to request crownless (wuwa) x reader smut???? ive been thirsting for the crownless for so long 😫😫😫

Thank you for you ask, honey ! And of course it's absolutely okay ! The crownless? Please, I think it's one of the hottest enemy in the game !

The Crownless found his crown

tw: monsterfucking, breeding, reader getting intoxicated by the air around The Crownless, hair pulling, (kinda) missionary pose, knot, praises here and there

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧*ੈ✩‧₊˚༘⋆࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ

It has passed a few days since you arrived in Jinzhou. Everything was still a bit confusing to you. As the sun rises, his rays hitting your face, making you groan in your sleep. It's time to get up, I guess.

After you got up up and had your breakfast, you went outside. The chilly morning fresh air was really nice as you took a stroll in the silent Jinzhou before leaving the city. You knew there were some tacet discord active these days, so you were going to investigate them.

You arrived in the northwest part of Jinzhou, exactly where you fought him for the first time. You took a deep breath, ready to face him multiple times. It did take quite a lot of time to make them go away, even just for a few hours.

As you had your sword in your hand, you got closer to him. This time, though, everything was a bit different. You were on the tacit field, but the crownless seemed do not be there. Now, that's strange. More minutes passed, and you were ready to to away, thinking that maybe the tacet discor disappeared.

As soon as you stepped away, you felt something reaching to your body quickly. You screamed and saw the crownless hands on your waist. Your breath itched. This is the end, right? Little did you know that in a nick of time you find yourself in some sorta of abyss. The crownless let go of you and smirked.

"What do you want from me?!" you took out your sword, ready to fight him in this strange place but, again, he was quick on his feet and took you sword.

"I wonder how you'll fight now" his face was always smiling, that creeped you out but at the same time made you feel something. Your face flushed a bit and you gave yourself a few slaps on the cheeks. This wasn't the time to make strange ideas.

"I still have my hands" you replied to the crownless. He laughed, and again, he was behind you, gripping your ching and making you watch him. You felt your eyes shaking from the fear. Why today was so strange? What did wanted this monster from you? Why it was acting like this?

Thousand of questions popped up in your head, making your head hurt a bit. The crownless breath was on your face, his lips a few inches away. Your body twitched, your eyes feeling heavy as a sense of restless was setting in. The monster laughed, kissing you withouth notice. You gasped, feeling like you were kissing a metallic thing. You didn't resist though, your tongue caressing the monster one. As the two of you kissed, the crownless shreds your clothes. Your body completely exposed to him.

You groan. The strange air making your body shiver as your thighs were touching together, a needy feel making your way through your body. "What's up, dear?" teased the Crownless, pushing you down in your knees and then making you lay there. Around you was nothing, like you were here but at the same time you weren't.

You tried to spoke but the monster touched your hole, making you moan. "N-not there.." you shamelessly said, your body reacting to every touch of him. "Why not? I see you like it" he teased back. You bit your lip, trying to keep quiet but his fingers were so long and pointy that touched perfectly that sweet little spot inside you.

Your head fell back as more gasps and moans left your mouth. The crownless smirked, feeling you ready for him. If only did you know what was in next for you. As you kept struggling on keeping your eyes open, you felt something. Something very big poking at your entrance. You looked down and whined as you saw the big and, already, leaking monster cock. It was metallic grey, just as it was him, but his tip was a shade of blue and purple. Without notice, the monster entered inside you.

You arched your back, moaning louder. The crownless smirked always present on his face. "Look at you, you're dripping" he teased you again, gripping your hips and pushing in and out his hips. It felt so good, his cock so girthy and big, your hole clenching and squeezing around it. More moans from both of you filled the empty space. You felt grateful that it wasn't in public.

"Mhhnggg, y-yes, right there!" your hands were on the ground, keeping yourself steady from the harsh thrusts of the monster. He groaned, feeling you around him, taking his cock so well. This wasn't his first time fucking a human. "What a good little human you are" spoke he, now going deeper inside you. One hand of his went to your face, his thumb circling your lips as you open your mouth to take him.

"You're such a slut" the monster groaned, his cock twitching inside you as you watched him. You were so hot to him. Seeing you taking his cock withouth any struggle while licking and sucking his thumb. It all made him weak. Withouth warning he grasped your hair and with brute force he turned you around, your back facing him.

"That's it, take my cock, let me see what a good human you are for me" he pulled your hair again, his hips going faster and faster, touching your sensitive spot. "I-i'm cumming! Please! Let me cum!" you begged, you eyes teary and your hips moving towards his cock. The monster moaned, giving you a few slaps. You cried and with a few more thrust you came and he did it do. The crownless cum spurted all inside you, painting your walls white as your body shakes, your breath quick as you try to relax.

The crownless hugs you from behind and caresses your hair, but soon, you feeling a knot forming, trying to be inside you. You whined, your hole sensitive but still stretching as the crownless pushed his knot inside you. Keeping on caressing your hair, he leaves a few kisses on your neck and shoulders, your body shivering.

"You are really good" whispered the monster, his knot fully inside you as a few drops of cum leaked out of you, making a small pool under you two. Your breath now was calm and you felt like you could breathe again.

The monster usual smirk was on his face. Little did you know now that you were his and his forever.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧*ੈ✩‧₊˚༘⋆࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ

[kennysboxergf]

write smt for niko where reader has nails on and she’s just scratching nikos head and he falls asleep on her and is in awn of him please and thank u

Acrylics ~ Niko Omilana

Ok alright so first of all my apologies i started writing this and then it took a mind of its own and ran away from me so im so sorry if this isnt exactly what you wanted 💔

—

Your fingers worked at Niko’s scalp as he lay in your lap. You felt as he sank deeper and deeper into your embrace and as his muscles relaxed under your new acrylic nails. You looked over at him and found only peace and relaxation in his expression, despite that you couldn’t help as your earlier conversation echoed in your head.

--

“How do you do anything with those knives on your fingers?” is the question that pops you out of the book you were reading. You close it shut, knowing this conversation was not going to just disappear, when Niko wanted to know something he usually found out.

“What do you mean knives?” you ask, pretending to not understand the joke so he would drop it.

Of course, he didn’t drop it.

“I mean those long pointy things you’ve stuck onto your already long, pointy, nails” he answered, vaguely gesturing towards your hand with his. 

“My acrylics?” you asked back with a dead-pan look on your face.

“Nuh-uh” came the answer as he shook his head, “acrylic is a type of paint. You have literal murder weapons stuck to the end of your fingers” he finished with an accusatory point at your hands. 

You smiled simply in his direction before extending one long finger (+ nail) in his direction. You bent it towards yourself in a beckoning motion, willing him to come closer. He did so, albeit hesitantly. 

When he approached the couch you were settled on you grabbed onto his shirt and tugged him down. He fell (ungraciously) onto the couch right next to you with an oomph. When he settled he looked at you with a mix between a glare and a confused head tilt. You simply shrugged because you had no idea why you had done that either.

He opened his mouth as if to complain but you quickly shut him up with a finger on his lips. Once again he looked down at the finger in confusion but you didn’t utter a word, just rearranged his tall man limbs into your lap. He went quite easily, but as soon as the two of you were comfortable he opened his big mouth again.

“Your murder knives are stabbing me, y/n” he said once more with a trace of a pout on his lips.

You moved your hand from where it was resting on his stomach up to his scalp. You felt him tense as your nails first trailed through his curls. You muttered a soothing “don’t worry baby, these murder knives can do a lot more than just kill men.”

Well maybe that wasn’t too soothing but he did go from deep freeze rigid to just tense so it was a win you guessed.

And all of that led you to where you were right now. With his head in your lap as your fingers worked into his hair. He was actively just melting into you, his whole body relaxing. You smiled at his behaviour as his eyes fluttered shut.

After a couple of minutes of massaging you heard soft noises coming from your boyfriend. Small gasps and quiet moans of pleasure echoed in the room. He didn’t seem to notice as his head lay still, eyes shut and mouth slightly open.

You stop your motions and he jerks back into reality, his eyes open as he looks at you. 

“Baby, I’ll pay for your nails for the rest of the year if you just keep going right now” he promised quietly.

You chuckled but started with your motions once more, his eyes fell shut again. “No more murder knives?” You tease.

His head starts to shake before he realises he can’t do that with you massaging him. So he just mutters a simple “nothing that makes me feel this nice can be used for murder I take my words back” 

“Ok,” you respond but then continue after a pause, “but you can’t take back the words about paying for my nails” you warn him.

He smiles, “of course.”

—

as always requests are open and please come by and say hi <3

[cheeeeseburger]

Dream girl Part 4

Next part

Sidney Crosby x Reader

Masterlist

A/N: I had something else completely written for this part but somehow I lost it so anyway here's part 4! English is not my first language, apologies for the mistakes, enjoy!

“Yeah dude, some fucking pipe broke and now there’s water all over our goddamn new condo.” Like usual, Sid was busy listening to your boyfriend’s convo, trying to gather some info on you. Apparently, something broke in the brand-new condo that you and your boyfriend just bought together. Sidney knew all about it. After your almost-kiss, he though his heart had suffered enough for the week until he saw that fucking post on your Instagram. You were holding the key, and he was holding you, and Sidney just wanted to disappear forever.

Anyway. That must be why you didn’t attend a single game this week. Must have been too busy. Sidney was relieved. So you weren’t avoiding him. You still hadn’t replied to his texts saying he was sorry for almost kissing you, but at least you were not actively trying to escape him. His heart warmed a little in his chest.

“Oh man, that sucks. You haven’t even lived a month in it!” Another young defenseman chimed in. The story was getting real interesting now.

“Yet they still expect a payment every week. What a bunch of assholes. And they won’t fix it until another month! I mean, do they expect me and my girlfriend to live in a hotel for another fucking month?” For once, he could sympathize with the rookie. Yeah, it must suck to live in a hotel. He especially thought about you. You had to hate it. He had to do something about it.e H

Sometimes, love makes you stupid. It was one of these occasions. Sidney would ask you to move in with him. Temporarily, of course. With the boyfriend included.

It had got to be his worst idea yet. But it seemed he couldn’t keep the words from spilling out: “I have a basement you guys could use.”

So nice. So helpful. So generous. Yet so selfish. Sidney Crosby, what a nice guy, eh?

Of course, your boyfriend agreed on the spot, not bothering to check beforehand with you. He didn’t understand why you were freaking out, and it had to stay that way.

Two days later, you were knocking on the captain’s door, suitcase in hand. How could this go wrong?

At first, Sidney thought he could manage. It wasn’t like you were always there. Most of the time, you were hiding from him anyway. He wanted to talk to you about the moment you almost had right there in his kitchen, but it was hard with the rookie always being there.

Honestly, the first week went well. Sure, he found a thong in his batch of laundry and the image of you wearing it drove him mad, but everything was going well.

Until he heard it. That first moan, the first clue that you were arching your back for someone that wasn’t him. Sidney felt his heart sink in his stomach. He wanted to turn on the TV to forget the angelic noise, but he heard it again. This time, it was louder, needier. He knew it was wrong, but he couldn’t move.

Against his will, Sidney’s hand made its way underneath his pants. The effect you had on him was crazy. Your voice only got louder, echoing through the walls of his home. He began to stroke himself.

Faintly, he could hear the noises your boyfriend made, but he decided to ignore them. Pretending to be the one making you moan was simply too good. It sounded like you were matching Sid’s tempo better than his anyway. When your screams began to be louder and more frequent, he picked up the pace. He just knew that you were getting close, and so was he, but he wanted his girl to finish first.

His girl. That lie almost made him come on the spot. He threw his head back and imagined you were doing the same. He wished you were riding his thigh.

Suddenly, the bed in his basement stopped creaking. Your boyfriend thanked everyone but you for existing as he finished. He was done and apparently, for him, it meant that you were done too. Sidney called bullshit on that immediately.

There was no way you were feeling satisfied after that. You and Sidney were on the same pace, and he was nowhere near finished. Sure, a few minutes ago you seemed closed, but the fucking rookie was selfish. So selfish that he had to ruin the pleasure of two people that night.

Sid was so pissed for you. You deserved that orgasm. If you were his girl, he would’ve made you come twice already, with a third time coming soon. He would let you rest awhile only to rock your world harder a few moments later. Every single night.

Of course, Sidney was frustrated for himself too. He had no choice but to take a shower, because there was no way he would be able to sleep without getting some kind of satisfaction. The warmth of your mouth would be better, but the palm of his hand and the hot water would have to do for the night.

It didn’t take long for him to get right back on track. Now that he didn’t have your moans as background music, he thought of all the way he would make you come.

For the first time, of course, it would have to be sweet. After all, he was gentleman. He would worship you and tell you the million reasons why you were his dream girl. Only when you would be convinced that you’re an angel would he let himself think about finishing.

 He would have to eat you out next. His age was his biggest asset in that department. Guys his age knew how to take care of their girls. No way the rookie had ever used his tongue on you. Fucking idiot.

If he felt especially riled up one night, he would have to have you against a wall. He wanted to see the pictures trembling and the frames falling on the floor.

His next thought had him steadying himself on the wall. He wanted to have you somewhere he was sure your boyfriend would hear. Sidney had to let him know that only him could make you satisfied. After all, you were his dream girl.

That was all it took. He hoped the sound of the water would hide his grunts as he released all that frustration inside of him.

Yeah, he did feel guilty as he stepped out of the shower. I mean, he had just jacked off to the thought of you. But it wasn’t like it was the first time, nor would it be the last. Actually, he only felt guilty because he knew you weren’t feeling satisfied like he was right now. Sidney would have to change that soon.

[bbcphile]

In Memory of Kiah

cw/tw: death, medical assistance in dying

If you’re wondering why I kind of disappeared from the Mysterious Lotus Casebook tag and stopped posted WIP Wednesday things, here’s the explanation: One of my closest friends, who has been dying progressively and increasingly painfully over the last two years, told me about 3 weeks ago that they were going to pursue medical assistance in dying because it is legal where they live. It was originally scheduled for the end of July, then moved up to the end of June, and then on Monday, they moved it to Wednesday (yesterday), because their life was agony and they couldn’t wait any longer.

I’m lucky that I had enough advanced notice that I was able to say goodbye–both by sending them a message telling them in detail how much they’ve meant to me and thanking them for everything, and then in one last phone call the night before–so I’m glad they knew how much I loved them and that I could be there for them emotionally, even though I couldn’t physically be there for the end itself, because they live too far away. We met on Tumblr through the chronic illness community because we share the same genetic connective tissue disorder and many of its comorbidities, and I will always be so, so grateful to Tumblr for bringing us together.

I wanted to post about them here because it just felt wrong to keep going like nothing had happened, and because I wanted to do something to pay tribute to how good a person they were and how much I miss them. So, some words about Kiah: 

Kiah was one of the kindest, funniest, intellectually curious, loving, and fiercely protective people I have ever met. I loved that we could talk about anything, including the terror of living in a failing body or how to come to terms with being disabled when you were always an overcommitted overachiever who defined yourself on external metrics of success, analyze media together during watch parties, and laugh together about literally anything (including during our last conversation, where we were both bawling our eyes out, but also somehow laughing about how absurd it is that you can’t really cry hard and talk at the same time and how that seems like a real design flaw). We didn’t share any fandoms, but we still had fun sharing details about our blorbos and fandom activities: I loved hearing about their cosplay adventures, and they always wanted to keep up to date on the metas I was writing. Even once they went blind and couldn’t read my metas on tumblr anymore because it wouldn’t work with their screenreader, they had me send them Google doc versions so their computer could read my posts to them because they didn’t want to miss any of my analyses. And when they were too sick to listen to the full posts, they asked for summaries because they still wanted to keep up as much as they could. 

They were always so caring and compassionate: when they first called to tell me in January that they were going to do medical assistance in dying, and after I had told them I understood and supported them and we’d talked about how they felt about it, they asked me how I was. I had told them that while I was heartbroken, I would handle it, because I didn’t want to make them feel responsible for comforting me when they had their hands full with processing everything and feeling their own grief. They said that while they appreciated my not wanting to make it harder on them, they didn’t want me to feel like I had to be ok in front of them, because they wanted to comfort me and support me even in this if they could, since they didn’t have that much time left to be there for me and they wanted to make it count. (yeah, I’m sobbing right now.)

None of those descriptions could even begin to do justice to how much they meant to me, but I hope this anecdote will:

I couldn’t be with them at the end because I’m a country and an opposite coast away, but I hated the idea of not being able to say goodbye in person or hold their hand if they were scared during the injection. So I played piano and imagined they could hear it.

Most of you probably won’t know what that means or why it would be a big deal. Here’s why:

I used to be a musician. Music was my life and my most important means of self-expression, and was absolutely going to be my career. But in high school and college, an extensive series of very traumatic things happened that made me essentially have to give up performing. For the better part of the last 18 years, literally up until I sat down to play for Kiah, even just the idea of performing for someone or a neighbor overhearing me play was triggering enough that I would have a full-blown panic attack and dissociate so badly I would literally go from concert pianist level ability to mostly forgetting how to read music and having to count ledger lines. But my desire to do something so that maybe, just maybe, I could make Kiah’s final moments better apparently trumped my trauma, because I was able to do it. I had wanted to play some Rachmaninoff, Brahms, or Chopin, but apparently those are still too closely tied to Events and I started to have skill loss issues again (fucking dissociative amnesia), so I switched to a piece I had played long ago enough that it was reliably in my mind and fingers (and that I could sight-read if I forgot it partway through). 

And I played it.

I hope, somehow, they were able to hear it.

I also recorded it.

And I’m going to share it here.

It kind of feels like serving my heart up on a platter, but that feels kind of appropriate for this tribute to them. 

I think they’d be happy, knowing that I’m “doing it scared,” as Tumblr recommends, and that my attempt to give them the biggest gift of love and support I could think of, somehow, even if just temporarily, gave music back to me.

Also, I think they’d get a kick out of the fact that you can hear me giggle a little at one point in the recording when the sheet music falls on my hands, both because it’s a great middle finger to perfectionism, but also because laughing through the tears (and yeah, I was crying while playing this) is very much a chronic illness and disability thing, and feels like a good metaphor for much of the last few months.

So. All that to say:

Kiah, I love you. I miss you so much already.

Here’s Robert D. Vandall’s ���Lakeside Retreat.”

[bangtannies-stories]

Kingpin: Chapter 1

Opening/The Invitation

Warnings: Violence (physical violence, including a character punching a wall out of anger)

Kidnapping/Disappearance (The central plot involves the disappearance of a character)

Emotional Distress (Jin’s going through a rough patch emotionally and mentally)

Mafia/Crime Themes (story involves criminal activities, including organized crime, mafias, and rivalries)

Tense Atmosphere (The story maintains a consistently tense atmosphere, which may be unsettling for some readers)

——

In the heart of Seoul, where the air gets damp and cold, and nobody who was a nobody dared to enter without permission or invitation, a tall building sat. On the top floor, the CEO of Sentinel Solutions, South Korea’s most prominent security consulting firm, was in a panic.

He was a tall man, standing at about 5’10. His brown hair was styled into a mullet and parted with a prominent swoop on the right side of his face. Always dressed in a clean, ironed suit, the man was about 37, and behind his charmingly good looks, he was one of the most feared people you could imagine.

His name?

Kim Seokjin.

Seokjin, whose front business already generated enough revenue to keep him wealthy for the rest of his life, had been dealing with a problem in his true walk of life. One where he was known as the Onyx Reaper, kingpin of the biggest crime syndicate in Seoul, the Ecliptic Shadows.

“Boss, we have no leads on Jiwoo.” A deep voice called from the door. It was one of Seokjin’s most trusted members, Taehyung. Taehyung had come to let his boss and friend know that his sister, who had vanished into thin air the previous air, was still not found.

Seokjin, who had shed tears upon tears when his employees weren’t with him, got up and punched the plaster in the wall out of anger.

“I want every available man searching, search all of Korea if you have to! Nobody stops until my sister is safe under our protection!”

Taehyung bowed to his boss, and left the office. As he was walking down the hall, he came across his best friend Jimin who hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep all night.

“How did it go?” He asked.

“Not good. He punched another hole into his wall.” Taehyung answered sadly as the two walked hurriedly to where her disappearance was being investigated.

“I didn’t realize their fight yesterday was this bad. Do you have a clue what it was about?” Jimin asked as he sat down at his desk.

“No idea. All I remember was them screaming at each other before she locked herself in her bedroom. Next thing I knew, the alarm was tripped and she was gone without a trace,” Taehyung answered.

——

After searching day and night for two days, Seokjin was on edge continuously. His sister had still not been found, and the longer she’s missing, the less of a chance she’ll be found alive.

While he was at his desk searching through evidence, his youngest friend, Jungkook, walked in with an invitation in hand.

“Jin- um sir-“ he started but was interrupted.

“What.” Jin said and looked up.

“One of our allies sent this invitation to his son’s wedding. Apparently it’s really important you show.” Jungkook said and handed Jin the invitation.

Jin read to himself,

“Dear Seokjin,

You are cordially invited to Minjae’s wedding. I know we have been dear allies and good friends for a while, so it is requested you show your support and celebrate with us. It has been a while since you have attended any functions with us. Come say hello! The ceremony is at 2pm sharp this Saturday. I hope to see you!

Sincerely,

Park Joon-ho.”

“Jin, I know this is a critical time but I figured we could weed out suspects at the wedding. Many different mafias are coming including… Namjoon.” Jungkook confessed.

Jin banged his fist on his desk in anger.

“That asshole? Why is he showing up?” Jin shouted.

“I’m not sure but I have a bad feeling. He never attends events like this.” Jungkook said.

Jin thought for a moment. He made a decision.

“Fine, we’ll all go. But there will be people searching while we are there.”

——

The day of Park Minjae’s wedding had arrived. Seokjin, Taehyung, Jimin, and Jungkook arrived along with extra security in case something went wrong.

They took their positions and sat through the wedding, constantly on alert for any danger. Little did they know, three pairs of eyes were watching from the back row, watching their every move. The head of the three was very interested in speaking with the Onyx Reaper.

At the reception, everyone was communicating and speaking of relations when Jin was approached.

“Kim Seokjin, a pleasure to see you out and about.” The deep voice spoke.

Jin turned around and came face to face with his rival.

Kim Namjoon, the Shadowstorm Reaper, and head of the Obsidian Syndicate.

——

Kingpin Chapter 1 is finally here! I can’t wait for you all to read what I have been working on. I hope you all love it! If you do, please comment or reblog and show some love!

[pttucker]

⸢And everyone lived happily ever after.⸥ I always hated that phrase. However, the current me dearly wished for that phrase to become true. [Constellation, 'Demon King of Salvation' has reached his ■■.] [You have become the 'Oldest Dream'.] The disappearing lights in the distance resembled the Constellations that still remembered me. And with that, my endless voyage got underway. [Your ■■ is 'Eternity'.]

I was this close to making a reaction post about the supposed "miracle" that happened and why the worldline wasn't collapsing despite Oldest Dream no longer dreaming.

I mean, I was certain it was because Dokja was maintaining the dream and maybe he himself hadn't realized it yet, what with him literally being Oldest Dream. Guess he had one final trick up his sleeve.

I will say that I'm super amused that my theory of him being an avatar and not knowing it was apparently 100% correct but in a manner I completely did not expect. If I have to pick, I wanna say that the moment he chose to break himself apart was right here:

That left only three people behind. "Kim Dokja." It was unknown who among Han Sooyoung and Yoo Joonghyuk called that name out first. The former asked with a questioning pair of eyes. "We are getting off together, right?" [Someone has activated 'Lie Detection Lv… '] That prompted Kim Dokja to smirk softly. "Of course. We should." ['Lie Detection' has confirmed 'Kim Dokja's' words as truth.] "Let's go."

Sneaky, sneaky, sneaky. Dokja scheming until the very last second. Sacrificing himself for his companions One. Last. Time.

Though not as much of a sacrifice as before; he'll still get to "read" about them just like he loves and technically he will also get to live with everybody in a big house just like he wanted. So while part of me is clenching my heart, it's overall a happy ending.

And I looooove that we've circled back to Dokja's ■■ and why it has both the meaning of Eternity and Final Chapter.

I'll admit that I'm still a little fuzzy on what exactly happened with Secretive Plotter, the 999ths and Oldest Dream. I guess they reached the epilogue of their stories and this is the epilogue of Dokja's story? So now they're off in an entirely different worldline once again?

And it seems we have 34 chapters of epilogues to go through now! As well as ongoing side stories! The latter of which I still need to figure out if anyone is currently translating into English.

I'll admit when I heard that ORV had ongoing side stories I wasn't certain what exactly they'd be about but it appears we've still got a lot to wrap up even after the happy ending and you can't tell me that at least in one future side story (or maybe one of these epilogues) Dokja doesn't meet himself again or at least realize that he's missing half his memories.

...Or perhaps his companions will realize something fishy is going on, what with living right beside him and Dokja not remembering a whole 50% of his life. Hmmm.

A tale of this new world continued to flow on. But then, just as the subway's doors closed, Han Sooyoung looked behind her with a slightly unsure, hard-to-read face of someone that left something behind. Even Yoo Joonghyuk looked back, too. The only person who didn't was Kim Dokja. Han Sooyoung and Yoo Joonghyuk's gazes ran into each other, and they began growling at the same time. "What you looking at?!" "I should ask you that, you basta…"

Well, if nothing else, I do dearly wish to see more of these three idiots together. I love that both of them refused to get off the train until they were certain Dokja was coming with them and they both seemed to sense that they'd just lost something.

And I do wonder how exactly the world is going to go on after all of this mess and if they really will try to take Joonghyuk's sword from him. (Not a good idea.)

I mean, they seem to still have all of their abilities and stats? I think? So they're just supposed to live in normal, modern day Korea as if nothing happened while having superpowers??? And I assume most of the world's population is gone unless that was miraculously rewritten.

Or...???

Guess I'll find out.

[hphmmatthewluther]

HPHM Ship Week Day 1 - Dance

Here we go! Thanks to @hphm-ship-week for organising this wonderful event!!

The night was still and serene as a figure made its way through the winding corridors of Hogwarts. The only sound that could be heard was the rhythm of ticks from the clock tower as the silent figure manoeuvred across a set of stairs, having memorised exactly how they operated and knowing when they were going to try something new. It wasn’t until he arrived just outside the Great Hall that Matthew Luther started to hear something else. He tiptoed forward and saw a light coming from up another staircase. His eyes widened as he remembered that it had just gone midnight, and that made it…

“Tonks’ birthday…” he muttered, sliding down the wall and putting his head in his hands. Of course she would be having a party in the morning and at night.

“Oh, so that’s what it is.” said a voice just above Matthew’s head. He turned around and saw that two of the large stone knights were leaning forward to look at him. He’d noticed the two of them before, seemingly a lot more active than their fellow guards stationed across the wall.

“We were wondering, you see.” the second knight said. “Well, I was wondering what it was. He was wondering if it was an open invite.”

“It’s a perfectly reasonable question.” the first knight retorted. “Makes sense too, considering that awful caretaker is on holiday. Are you going?”

Matthew winced. He and Tonks had talked about it a few days before, and she told him that Penny wanted to throw her a party, and while he didn’t have to show up, she thought he might have a good time. He definitely wanted to, but there was always that part of him that told him he couldn’t.

The two knights looked at each other as Matthew deliberated in his head. Finally, one of them seemed to get an idea. “Oh! Didn’t we see that Slytherin girl head up there earlier?”

Matthew looked up instantly. If the knights had expressions, they would have been smirking triumphantly. “Well, we did, yes…” the second knight explained, “she said she would be going to investigate those Vaults, but from the sounds of things she’d been dragged into the celebrations.”

The music continued as the three stood there in silence. Matthew did trust Merula’s self-control, at least to an extent. However, he knew firsthand what it was like to be forced into socialising like that. He probably knew her better than most others at the school, save perhaps Ismelda, and knew that if being dragged there would make him irritable, it would make Merula furious. He’d spent a lot of time thinking about her recently, come to think of it.

“...Ok. I know what I’m doing…ish. Accio Tonks’ Present!” There was a whooshing noise that echoed through the school as a neatly wrapped gift flew into the room and dropped into Matthew’s hands. “Right, I’ll be off, then. Have fun, um…holding your weapons? I suppose?” He opened his mouth once or twice more, before turning to leave.

“You too!” the first knight called out.

“Glad we could help!” the second knight said, before turning to whisper to the other. As Matthew left, he gathered something about “being too stubborn” and “why can’t you keep still until we’re called upon”. Smiling slightly, he pushed the hair out of his face, adjusted his clothes, and started to climb the stairs leading up to the music.

From the looks of things, Penny and Tonks had decided to “borrow” one of the third floor classrooms. As Matthew approached one of the things he feared the very most, he held onto two things to ground him: that he had wrapped Tonks’ present already, and that they were playing muggle music.

As Matthew made it to the top of the stairs (remembering to leap over the disappearing step as he did so) he saw a few people hovering at the door as they were slowly let in by Penny. He took a breath, waited for the stomachache to pass, and walked up to her.

“Matt!” Penny said, smiling brightly. “Oh my gosh! I wondered if you’d show up! I really hoped you would! Tonks is just over there! Let me know if you need anything, ‘kay?”

Matthew smiled and nodded wordlessly. He vaguely wondered how Penny managed to be so energetic and enthusiastic past midnight as he walked into the room, taking in the scene. He then had to stop taking in the scene as he was getting very overwhelmed very quickly. He kept making slow steps towards Tonks, his eyes darting around to see pockets of students, dancing or talking. 

Then, leaning against the wall a few feet away, was Merula. She was wearing a red flannel shirt over a black t-shirt with some kind of ritual circle design on it, with black denim jeans leading down to her combat boots. She hadn’t noticed him just yet, and Matthew considered going over to her quietly when-

“WOTCHER, MATT!” Tonks yelled, pulling Matthew into a hug. Matthew opened his eyes to see Merula look up. They locked eyes for a moment before Tonks pulled away, smiling up at him. “Aw, thanks for coming, mate! I really do appreciate it.”

He was able to smile quite easily when he was around Tonks. He supposed it was the fact that she’d always been fine with how he was and never tried to push him on it, in return he’d always been fine with her unpredictable nature, and was totally fine with being a spectator/enabler/active participant in whatever she had planned.

“It’s no problem, really.” Matthew said, finally. “Happy Birthday, Tonks. Here, I, um…I hope you like this.”

Tonks’ eyes widened as she grabbed the present and ripped it open. A huge grin formed across her face as she pulled from the wrapping paper a muggle chemistry set. “Oh, wow! Matt, this is amazing! Do you have any idea how more varied my pranks can get now?!”

Matthew simply shrugged. “I look forward to seeing them in action. Glad you like it, um…”

“Oh, I do, I do!” Tonks reassured him. “Now, come on and join the party! The Weasleys are here, Jae’s handling the food, and…” Tonks eyed Merula, who had returned to leaning against the wall. “A certain someone who might need your help getting into the swing of things.”

Matthew suddenly went bright pink as he processed what Tonks was saying. “Y-You, um, you mean, I, but…” he paused and took a breath. “Tonks, I stink at partying. You and I both know this.”

“Yes, it’s your greatest character flaw, I know.” Tonks said, placing a hand on his shoulder and chuckling. “But I can’t have Merula sitting out on something like this. I want everyone to have a good time. Besides…you and I both know why I’m asking you to do this.”

Matthew somehow went even more pink. “Y-” he began, before swiftly being interrupted.

“Ah-ah! No denial! That’s not gonna work anymore!” Tonks declared, before leaning in to whisper. “I’ve seen you two wandering about together at night. Why do you think I decided to host a party at this hour?”

Matthew’s eyes went wide. “...Ok. I’ll…I’ll go talk to her.” he muttered, before forcing himself to put one foot in front of the other. His eyes immediately fixed onto Merula. He watched as she sighed in that moody way only she could do, leaning back against the wall once more, her messy brown and orange hair spreading out behind her. A surge of determination filled him at that moment; he was going to talk to her and he didn’t care who saw them.

He took one final step forward and cleared his throat. “Hey, um-” he began, pausing as Merula jumped from him announcing his presence.

“...Blimey, Luther, you really do sneak up on people…” she said, a smile starting to form on her face in spite of herself. “A-Anyway, what is it? Need to talk about the vaults, or…?”

Matthew leant up against the wall with her. “Actually, I just wanted to talk. It’s not like anyone can hear us.” He said, pointing up at the sound of music.

Merula shrugged. “Fair enough…I kind of wanted to talk to you too.”

Matthew shuffled against the wall. “I’m…guessing you weren’t expecting this party to be happening?”

Merula chuckled. “No, I rely on you to know what’s happening. You’re always involved one way or another.” she clicked her tongue. “Wish I’d brought her a present, even if it was a pot of stinksap.”

He suddenly found it very difficult to look away from her. Amongst the light and noise of the party, he could somehow hear and see her perfectly, her pink eyes shining in the dim light. He’d always thought that sort of thing was hyperbole of what liking someone was like, but he supposed not. Either that, or his brain was trying to prevent a sensory overload.

“I, um…I didn’t know either. I was only out tonight because I wanted to see you.” he admitted, for once completely uncaring whether or not he was speaking too loud.

Merula suddenly looked rather flustered. “Well, here I am, ah…sorry, I just…I’m just flattered. You came to a party just for me?”

Matthew made a squeaky noise that translated to “well…yeah”. “You and Tonks, obviously. It’s her 17th, after all, so it’s kind of important in this world.”

“And not in the muggle world?”

“Well, only for driving a car, everything else is on the 16th or 18th.”

“That still sounds pretty important, Luther.”

“Well sure, but compared to some of the other stuff, it’s nowhere near…”

Another song came on, a good one, and soon there was a lot more dancing going on. Matthew scanned the room and caught Tonks’ eye, who pointed to him and Merula before turning to Tulip and bringing her to the dance floor. So this was her plan, he thought to himself, before turning to Merula. “So, um…”

“You know this song?” Merula asked, shuffling closer.

“Nope.” Matthew admitted. “Being here at Hogwarts means if a new song comes out I can’t exactly find it until I head to Hogsmeade.”

“Fair. Sounds like a muggle one.”

“How come?”

“...Because it’s good.” Merula said, smirking in that way she always did. Matthew blinked once or twice. They really had come a long way together. He remembered getting her to at least listen to muggle music in fourth year, and the debate/struggle/duel that followed. And he knew that, when alone, they could dance together, free from what everyone else expected of them.

“...I have an idea.” Matthew thought aloud.

“For what?” “For how we can dance. Wait here.”

Merula watched as Matthew stepped away and dodged past the dancers, stopping by Tonks and tapping her on the shoulder. She nodded, and Matthew headed for the door, stepping past Penny, who was distracted while talking to someone else. Merula wondered just what Matthew could have up his sleeve; she first wondered if he would use Tonks’ Metamorphmagus powers, but then realised he’d need to be one too. Then, above the music, Merula could make out two sets of large footprints making their way up the stairs.

“Mind the disappearing one!” She heard Matthew say, before he ran forward and pushed open the door. She craned her neck to see him, and suddenly felt herself growing bright pink as she admired the way he smiled at the partygoers, ready to amaze (and hopefully distract) them. Before she could wonder how, she watched as two stone knights lumbered into the room behind him, one with a shield and one with a sword. There was silence, before the knight with the sword said, “We heard there was a party here!”

All it took was Tonks to yell back “YOU HEARD RIGHT, MATES!” and the party was back in full swing, everyone having their eyes on the knights as suggestions were thrown out for what moves to try. Matthew made his way back round to Merula, wiping the sweat from his brow.

“You know, I’ve never said this in public, but you’re absolutely brilliant, you know that?” she said, marvelling at the totally distracted crowd. “Side note, can I pass this off as my present to Tonks?”

Matthew looked at her as if she was the cloudless sky outside, which for years had dared him to venture into the night. They had danced around each other for years now, unsure what to call themselves, and part of him now dared to hope that they would be ready for what came next sooner rather than later. “I don’t see why not.” He replied, holding out a hand to her, “Shall we, then?”

Merula smirked again (though failed to hide her growing blush) and took his hand. “How could I refuse?”

Their hands found each other, and their feet began to move, and the rest of the world faded into the night.

[seventeenlovesthree]

This comes a little out of nowhere but I had this idea for a while, that digimon tri would have been more cohesive if it was about the original 8 adventure kids looking and searching for the missing 02 kids and therefore stumbling into this reboot plot with Maki and Alphamon etc (like asking Maki for help searching, she leading them to Meiko and Meicoomon). I think this would let them focus on the adventure kids without painting them as bad friends or without dissapointing the 02 fans. It also would make the original 8 more pro active in my eyes! Where the plot doesnt just happen to them. What do you think?

No worries, I do like thought experiments like that! And I do believe I had mentioned it before myself, because I am convinced that you are right and it actually should have been the underlying plot point in Tri. And if you think about it, one of the first scenes showing the 02 kids getting defeated was basically the perfect set-up for that.

I am currently not at home and without access to my PC/resources, but I am pretty sure there were articles mentioning that there had been several creative differences, which is why the pacing felt so off. I think a major problem may have been that they wanted to a.) include more fanservice and b.) try and give all characters focus "episodes"/"moments" to justify the Ultimate evolutions. Which, in my opinion, still backfired, because the evolutions felt very "tacked on". The idea of "overcoming ones darkness" has ALWAYS been vital to the original 8 and the themes were there (most obviously in Mimi staying sincere to herself, Jyou accepting responsibilities for himself), sometimes very cleverly integrated into the plot (Koushirou figuring out how to save the mons and Tentomon choosing to sacrifice himself the same way Kou always committed himself to the cause), but other cases were very forced (Takeru literally just said "Go for it", Sora had to go through forced suffer porn that didn't even really help her to move forward).

Long story short; I believe thar they should have committed to a theme: Either slice of life with monster-of-the-week stakes to give the kids singular moments to shine. Or: remove the slice of life/fanservice and commit to a plot. The older kids getting alarmed by the disappearance of the 02 kids and URGENTLY trying to figure out how to find them. No onsen trips, no school festivals. Them getting confronted by Daigo, Maki and Meiko (with Maki still being corrupted and trying to manipulate the kids to her advantage). There being a conflict in the group as to whether they should work with them/trust Meiko, with everyone showing varying degrees of stress with the situation.

You could still have Jyou's conflict like that for example; him worrying sick over Iori, but still prioritizing his studies at first and hating himself for it...

Mimi being dead worried about Miyako and looking at Meiko's glasses remind her of her the entire time; but she pushes through, trusting in Meiko, but butts heads with Koushirou who tells her to follow their plan (him and Yamato are suspicious of Daigo and Maki), but she's blinded by her drive. As is Koushirou, who overworks himself, but may actually get pulled out of that for once...

Hikari and Takeru being torn about the entire situation, asking themselves why they were not affected/targetted, if they can even fight properly without their Jogress partners, what'd happen if they had to face them at some point...

Taichi sees it all as an opportunity to bring the group closer together again, as he had been afraid of growing up and drifting apart again. Him and Yamato are actually not fighting for once, but still struggle with their obligations, as does Sora. But this time... They actually manage to talk things out, because they all have a common goal:

Getting their friends back and, in the process, reassessing their priorities, relationships, values... Especially with a reboot ahead of them and that strange girl in the middle of all.

I mean, I look at singular screenshots I took and feel like... Man, it could have fit wonderfully if the 02 kids had been the motivation all along.

[niuniente]

on the whole kudos/comment thing. I'm an artist and I havn't posted art on instagram in 2 years, that is both og art and fanart. its not worth the 2 mins of my time to post after only to get 10ish odd likes from mostly people ik irl when I can just send it off to my friends and get wayyyyyy more personal and happy responses. yes creatives are not entitled to engament but don't be surprised when they disappear

if its not worth your time to comment then its not worth THEIR time to post.

I'll admit im a hypocrite saying this as I don't comment all the time (mixture of no internet when reading and good old mental illness leaving me with blank brain fog) but I stil try. its not a matter of which is good enough or conveince but if its a good day for me. speaking of trying while I'm here I freaking love dhd, started following from she ra but I love your orginal stuff and you're so sweet. <3

I hope people stop being rude in your ask box

Yes, I hear this a lot. Also, it seems people are willing to discuss about things with their friends or fandom fellow groups but not give the same comments to the person who created that thing. I have a personal experience of this.

Years and years ago, I used to write fanfic with an url no one knew about. It was my secret little account. I was a part of a fandom group for the said fandom I was writing these fics about. The group was lovely and active, and they openly loved to discuss about fanfics and fanart.

Whenever I wrote a fic and posted it, the very same day someone within the group noted the whole group about it. Those who wanted to read the fic went to read it, and then they eagerly discussed about the fic with each other; what did they like about it, what thoughts they had, if they had any metas or ideas of what would happen in the next chapter, how the fic had made them feel like and what was their favorite part of each chapter.

I followed these conversations without anyone knowing they were talking about my fic. It made me happy to see that what I had written was well received, and people waited for more!

Did any of these people leave me a comment on the said fic they were gushing about? No.

So, the lurker me knew that my fic was well received and liked, but the author me didn't know, because no one said anything. All the conversation was held in a private place among readers but the author was not included in it.

It would have been really easy for any of these fans of the fic just copy the same thing they had said in the private group and post it to the author me under the fic. Very easy support and a very easy way to let the author-me know that yes, this is what we wish to get more! I only know this because I was lurking in the fan group and saw these conversations.

Another experience I've got and it still keeps happening is that if I join a Discord group or any event group, there are always people who know me due FUZZY. They say that they read the comic and loved it. I have no idea just how many people actually read FUZZY, know it and liked it, because the majority seem to be lurkers who I encounter at random like this :D It's always a surprise when it happens, a happy one mind you! I don't know how many readers and fans FUZZY actually had but I think no one can really ever know the full scale of their fans and influence.

I've got IG which mainly operates now as an art gallery for those who wish to see just my art (excluding long comic updates due image limit). Engagement is small in IG and Twitter, where things are fresh for 20 second and then they are forgotten - albeit IG's positive side compared to Twitter is a better search system where you can go through old posts and like & comment them (no, it's not creepy, why the hell giving support for someone would be creepy when we talk about supporting fandom people).

[fated-normal-767]

I love all your characters sosososoososoooo much and is like to know more about Athanasios. In my head he’s like the straight man so Id like to know what batshit insane hijinx he gets caught up in

Ohh boy ‼️‼️‼️ for the duration of the post I will be calling him Niki (shortening of his last name, nikitas) because I cannot type his full name properly 90% of the time 👍

Right! He believes he’s straight for the majority of his life, and realises he’s actually aroace very shortly before he becomes a ghost (he also thought he was homophobic for a bit because he was repulsed by the idea of any romance). This is not important to the plot at all but I like it being known because it’s important to him 👍

In his childhood, his family was not necessarily abusive, but very rarely payed attention to him, bordering on neglect, meaning that Niki spent most of his time with Ares, Shimmer, Letalis, and slightly later, Python. Python is the only one who’s family never had a high role in the government and later mentions feeling slightly isolated due to this, though it isn’t a large plot point, just an influence. All of the main 4 kids are about 12 when they all meet, ares is linked due to being shimmer’s older brother. They also all have nicknames (letalis umbra; Lucius or luci, athanasios nikitas; Niki, Alexis Harlowe; python. It’s suggested that shimmer had one but never brought up.) Of course, Ares ran the organisation (though everyone thought Kronos did other than people ares had told), Letalis’ family ran a branch of it, having the second highest role, and where Niki’s family still had high roles, they still worked for the other two’s families. Letalis’ family and Ares both made it very clear to Niki’s father that he’d lose his job if Niki got hurt, and it’s slightly implied that this is why his family was neglecting at worst, but never violent.

Niki was (for most of his childhood) the least likely one to start conflicts or actively choose to do stupid things, but he’d always stand up for the others without much hesitation at all after things would go wrong. He was also the oldest by a year or two. He had the most knowledge of how the entire government system worked, and was the first one to ask ares why python’s family never interacted with other’s families, as well as the first to ask ares to help. Him and Shimmer interacted with Ares the most and knew how he actually acted, unlike Letalis, who only knew Ares as the persona he used in meetings or presentations, or python, who didn’t seem to care for a while.

He also held grudges the most, and was extremely stubborn, he’d stand by a point if it killed him, and did for his entire life.

When python ‘disappeared’ presumed dead at 17, Niki entirely held the blame against ares, who was too upset to say otherwise. He slowly isolated himself further from ares and shimmer, associating with Kronos and working on some highly morally questionable projects. The cut one of these was a science experiment on a young child with a powerful skill in which she was put through the worst situations possible to test responses. I believe she eventually either died from shock or ran away and died or disappeared somewhere else, but I didn’t write that bit so I can’t remember.

The first time he’s ever shown in the game he is introduced as Ares’ assistant (assigned by Kronos), and immediately tries to convince him to kill shimmer instead of finding them and bringing them back alive. He mentions as a ghost that he had wanted to test if there was any semblance of humanity left in ares enough for him to defend shimmer, or even attack Niki for saying that, but due to being almost entirely caught up in an act, ares just goes “well I’d rather not kill them myself but we could consider it if they keep causing problems. Not yet though”.

From this point to directly before his death, Niki is exclusively painted as evil, he has entirely given up on shimmer and ares, and seen reports of what the fuck letalis has been up to since python ‘died’*, meaning he ruled everyone he used to care about as ‘fucked up and evil and murderous’, so he decides to get on that train fully too; no one would be able to tell the difference anymore anyway.

*met Eris, was a serial killer for a bit, 100% killed and ate people (the reports are confidential and not public but Niki saw)

Just before Ares fakes his death for the first time, Niki tries to confront him, calling him an idiot and a coward for not killing shimmer. Unfortunately, ares is having a nervous breakdown, and stabs athanasios in the stomach, leaving him in a burning building to die. Ares does not actually manage to get out on his own, he has asthma and collapses from the smoke inhalation until shimmer drags him out of the building.

It’s never described how Niki is brought back any of the times, but it’s mentioned that it is always linked to Kronos/Kronos chooses for it to happen. The first time, he looks slightly rotten and burnt, but you wouldn’t immediately go “he’s been dead.” He just looks horribly injured. You meet him again before Ares returns thinking dolos is dead, and he helps letalis with their plan of find and killing ares, during which they almost torture shimmer to death (thinking that they know). After this happens, Dolos shows up for the first time, with a man called Mars who is completely unrelated to anything at all and gets almost beaten to death by Lyssa for saying that ares deserved to die. ‘Mars’ finds letalis and tears her eyes out, then both him and dolos disappear again, never seeing Niki, nor knowing that he was alive and involved, which Niki was very thankful for.

When ares comes back, Niki makes it his role to antagonise him as much as possible; made very easy by how fucked up ares is, having repetitive flashbacks to watching dolos die. Niki’s final straw per se was when he stole a necklace from dolos which ares had kept and threatened to destroy it, and after a violent fight, Niki has ares at gun point and makes some comments about everything around ares dying. With little to no warning he puts the gun in his own mouth and pulls the trigger, which ares takes as ‘proving his point’, but was actually caused by dolos.

When Niki is finally brought back, he is visibly a corpse, and completely drenched in blood. He is brought back to supervise ares, who grew significantly harder to blackmail and more unstable after finding out dolos was alive. It’s never explained whether he started trying to destroy things hoping he could get back to dolos even after telling him to leave, or if he entirely gave up and started breaking things to lash out at something. But Niki is told to watch and make sure that ares doesn’t destroy the building again or leave. Niki has almost given up on his stubborn point of hating ares, making slight jokes about how ares should kill Kronos this time, how he hates that he’s back.

Ares pours them both a drink. He never even touches his cup. Niki knows what is going to happen. He tells ares that he was sorry for how everything turned out, and it is barely even acknowledged.

Niki talks about how the system had always worked, anyone who works for them has one engineered weakness to get rid of them if they try to leave. Letalis’ legal record, shimmer’s addictions, and ares was never taught to swim- he’d drown from even falling into a river. Ares asks what Niki thought his weakness was, the way they’d get rid of him if they had to. Niki says that he thinks it was Ares. He sends a message to Kronos, setting up his murder for ares, and tells ares to burn the place to the ground. His body is never found.

As a ghost, Niki spends his time attempting to get people to see him so he can finally leave, but every time he is actually visible he exclusively spends the time saving other people. He tells ares that he needs to protect Corvus because they are Kronos’ child and that knowledge might be dangerous. He saves someone’s life by showing them the way out of a building they were trapped in. He leads Pluto to someone who is dying so that he saves them. He makes no progress in saving himself. He has not yet been written to ever make any progress on it, actually.

I know I missed something im so eepy but um The 👍 I can answer questions if something doesn’t make sense

[late-to-the-magnus-archives]

fic snippet!

Martin CANNOT be deterred, yo.

Also, Kayne is a dick.

Fic 7/8ths done! I even know the title now: I Prefer My Heart To Be Broken, taken from D.H. Lawrence.

P.S. "For the love of Mike" is one of those sayings that always amused me, and there are so many Michaels in TMA, and Mike Crew/Vast/Simon Fairchild... never mind. I am a dork.

--------

Martin was not prepared.

He thought he was prepared. Armed with a knife, ready to face off against giant tentacle monsters, ready to grab Jon and cliff-dive or whatever they had to do to get away.

He wasn’t prepared to plunge right into the Lonely as if it had been waiting for him.

Maybe it had. Funny enough, it saved their lives.

They landed in full sight of the King and Jon, full sight of the threat, but they also landed in the mist, in the isolation, in the invisible, and like riding a bicycle, Martin adjusted at once to keep them unseen.

Arthur froze as if in carbonite, and it took a moment to drag him back and out of the way (Martin had no desire to risk detection through proximity), but it worked.

Then came a horrifying conversation, and Martin was furious.

Jon was… being empathetic to that thing? 

It somehow wasn’t surprising (he’d defended Simon Fairchild, for the love of Mike), but still! Now? After torture? During his own rescue operation?

Did Jon have to pack-bond with every fucking thing he met that didn’t actively try to eat him?

Martin tried to focus. He followed Arthur’s unseen talking compass. Kept them in the Lonely, cold, hopefully unseen.

And then Kayne appeared and took Arthur away like plucking a flea off a dog, so that worked out just great.

Martin isn’t shivering anymore. He’s adjusted very quickly.

But it’s not like the eyepocalypse. Not like being swallowed. He knows who he is, who he loves, that he is loved. He cares enough to be concerned that Arthur was taken by Kayne so suddenly, presumably for whatever that distraction was.

He’s himself. He’s okay. He doesn’t have to fight to remember things. So though it’s worse, the Lonely isn’t here here.

But it sure is lipping all over the back of his neck like some unwanted molestor.

Alone, he walks.

Alone, he walks, and pushes back against the fear that every step is drawing him deeper.

He hadn’t been prepared at all for how familiar it would feel.

Like tailored clothes. No - 

Like an old mattress, dipping in the center to his exact shape. No - 

Like a home he knows so well he could navigate in the dark. No - 

“Like a voice you could follow to the end of the world?” says Kayne.

And Martin can’t feel him, can’t sense the invasion, and it’s like watching a rock fall into water and leaving no ripples.

But it’s Kayne, and Martin doesn’t like him, and instinctively pulls away.

Which means further in, and the palace around him fades.

He hadn’t meant to do that.

“Shit!” Martin says - except no, he didn’t.

“Shit,” Martin actually says, quietly, not a whisper, but hardly a shout.

Calmly, he does a self-check.

He knows who he is.

Knows who loves him.

Knows whom he loves.

He can still find Jon. And like this, he thinks he might be better able. After all, in here, the edge of panic has gone soft and insubstantial, worry for Arthur has disappeared, and even finding Jon doesn’t seem terribly urgent.

He’s still going to do it, of course. He starts to walk.

He sees where Jon is. A blur of light, a weird greenness, distant, yet clear. Looking at it leaves him seeing afterimages.

How does that work? He has no idea, and can’t bring himself to care.

“I’m coming, Jon,” he says, just to make a sound, because he doesn’t want to fall into silence and go further in.

The Lonely doesn’t feel the same.

There’s awareness in it, somehow. It’s no longer inert, waiting as if never to take a breath; it’s still that horrible peace, but it’s… different.

Well, the Beholding changed, so why not the Lonely?

But why would it change? Martin hadn’t been in it. There was no one in it. Was there?

Was it changing in response to Jon, too? Jon is marked, if not as deeply.

“I’m sure there’s a logical reason,” he says quietly, and then he stops caring about it entirely. 

All the world is gray, and soft, and lovely; welcoming, sorrowful, like the dampness after tears.

And it hurts; it does. There is a weight to this sorrow, deep in his heart; like rejection, but lacking its sting.

It’s so familiar - 

“Hey, great news,” says Kayne, dancing in front of him and blocking his view. “I got tricked! We’re not all doomed to some looping human nightmare, after all!”

Martin realizes he’s stopped walking.

Hm. That’s not right.

He frowns. It’s easier to think like this (but is it?), unmoored from the mess of emotions that had swallowed him since Jon was taken.

Which brings him back to the thought: this isn’t the Lonely he knows, so why is it familiar?

“Well, it is, though,” he murmurs. “It’s just more… more…”

Proactive? Does that even make sense for this Dread Power?

More importantly, does it matter whether it makes sense or not?

“It absolutely does not matter,” says Kayne. “They’re all more aware, thanks to your boyfriend.”

Annabelle said it was inevitable they were all coming back. Maybe this was just inevitable, too.

Maybe he was being overwrought. 

“Yep!”

He’s sitting. He doesn’t remember doing that.

“Good move.”

His cheeks sort of itch, and he reaches up and realizes he’s crying.

He stares at the wetness on his fingers as if he’s never seen his hands before.

That isn’t right.

Is it?

It’s not so bad.

Better, actually.

Feels… 

It doesn’t feel.

It’s nice. To not feel.

The next blink, he happens to look up, and he sees where Jon is again.

It’s like a green flame, in the distance, blazing through the fog, impossible to miss.

Martin realizes he’s walking again, and doesn’t remember doing that.

That’s all right. There’s Jon out there. He has to reach him.

“Even though it’s going to hurt?” says Kayne, who doesn’t matter.

“Yes,” says Martin, who hasn’t looked away from that green flame again. There’s some reason he shouldn’t do that.

It probably doesn’t matter, but, well, his mother always told him he was too bullheaded for his own good.

“You don’t even miss her! What’s up with the reference?” says Kayne.

“I don’t,” says Martin. “I don’t miss anybody.”

“Mm, true, true,” says Kayne, keeping pace. “Hey, lookit here!” He claps his hand in front of Martin’s face, hard and sharp.

Martin startles. Blinks.

Stops walking.

Kayne peers at him, not intrusive, though he should be - he’s practically in Martin’s face.

Martin can’t feel him. The Lonely doesn’t care about Kayne. So that’s fine.

It’s all fine. 

“Useful,” murmurs Kayne. “Freaking reset button.”

There’s Jon’s green flame.

Martin is moving again.

“Okay, let’s try this,” says Kayne, and spins him around.

Kayne’s grip is terrible. It’s hot, and hard, and completely out of sync with everything else Martin feels (or doesn’t), and it is such a relief when Kayne lets go that Martin falls to his knees, gasping.

Though it… isn’t as upsetting as it was a moment ago.

Good. That was bad. Feeling that was bad.

It’s better here. Nothing hurts here. Even fear is gentle here.

But - 

(There’s no but.)

Yes, there is. There’s a but. 

“Haha, you said butt,” says Kayne, who doesn’t matter.

Martin is looking at his hands.

Strong hands.

Rough hands.

“Gonna need to fix that, you know,” says Kayne. “Certain presidential types won’t take you seriously with sandpaper fingers.”

Martin ignores him completely.

Jon has never minded his rough, rough hands.

Jon’s skin is… well. It’s not particularly cared for, but it is soft. Softer than Jon thinks.

Martin has had one (1) scary dream in which his hands tore Jon’s skin like tissues.

“Ooh,” says Kayne. “That’s a fun one. We can use that.”

But Jon never minded. 

Where is Jon?

“Not here. It’s better that he’s not here,” says Kayne.

That’s true. It…

Wasn’t, though.

No.

“No,” says Martin, to nobody, and stands, and remembers.

Behind him.

He turns, spots the green flame, and begins walking.

Kayne makes a sound like a sigh and a train engine and a failing dam. “Well, it was nice to hope. Fine, fine, we’ll work around it.” He’s pacing Martin again. “You know, you’re so damn close to perfect. If not for this stupidity.” He waves his hand in Jon’s direction.

Martin doesn’t answer because Kayne doesn’t matter. 

“Do you know how many separate, completely extant Martins there are involved in this decision?” says Kayne, and snaps his fingers.

Then there are more of him. Multiple Martins, standing to the sides like an honor guard, watching him follow that flame.

Martin ignores them.

They don’t ignore him. “I just want him to fix everything and stop being vulnerable,” says one.

“Ouch,” says Kayne.

“I want him to do what I think is best, not what he thinks is best,” says another.

“Eh, everybody wants that,” Kayne comments. “Dull.”

“Why can’t we just be left alone?” says a third. “We love each other so much. We’ve paid our dues. Why can’t it just be us, no monsters or gods or even other people?”

“Whaaat?” says Kayne. “You want him here, in the Lonely, with you, just the two of you? Hahaha! That only completely defeats the point of the place, and I have to wonder just how the universe would react if we pulled that off.” He cackles. “Not well! Pretty sure we’d go cracking reality again. Might just have to do that on a Sunday afternoon.”

“I want to have the power for once,” says a fourth Martin, watching him walk by. “Maybe I just should. Jon would let me. He’d let me do whatever I want.”

“True, true,” says Kayne, nodding wisely. “It is that way, you know. Even if he fully thinks he’s violating his conscience, he’ll give you what you want. Is that particularly healthy, do you think?”

“Maybe I should’ve just gone harder into Annabelle’s offer,” says Martin number five. “I could have stopped him from killing Jonah. I could just fix things now, just a little bit, stop him from beating himself all the time, fix what Jonah did and then everything would be fine.”

“You really hate that he’s depressed, don’t you?” Kayne says with eerie joy. “Gods, you’re giving me ammo here.”

“I just need to get to him,” says Martin number six. “I can fix this. I can love him enough. I know he loves me.”

Kayne makes a nauseated face.

“I made sure he loves me,” says Martin number seven. “He always will.”

That one… almost hurts.

Kayne cackles. “Oh, now that’s just said - and you know why this matters? Do you?” he waves his hand, and the rows of Martins disappear, vanish into the mist. “Because you absolutely believe each of these completely all the time at the same time. It’s fucking amazing. You are just one clever little cupcake, do you know that?”

Martin doesn’t care. He can’t even be annoyed; that would involve investment, and he isn’t invested in anything Kayne does.

He needs to get to Jon.

“Yeah, yeah.” Kayne whistles, hands in his pockets, still pacing. “We’re going to so many places. So many wars to kindle So many stupid family quarrels to restart - ooh, some of them have been quit for, like, a thousand years, but we’re gonna get ‘em going again. We’re even going to start new religions. It’ll be great.”

Martin doesn’t answer.

“And in the history books, they’ll wonder at the perfect storm of circumstances,” says Kayne, and glances at him. “It may be a good reset button, but you know what? You’re kinda boring like this.”

Martin could not care less.

“Literally, am I right? Hey. Why are you chasing after him?” His lips touch Martin’s ear. “Why are you following him?”

Martin has to answer. He doesn't know why, nor does he care; it’s like Kayne reached into his brain and pushed the talk button. “Because I love him.”

“But, you don’t. Right? You don’t feel anything right now.”

“Sure,” says Martin.

“Sure, what? Great answer, by the way, but I’m not looking for easily misinterpreted right now.”

“I love him.”

“You don’t feel a fucking thing.”

“Love isn’t feeling. I mean. It often is. I’ve written about that. But it’s more than that.” 

And Martin is done, apparently.

Kayn narrows his eyes. “I was thinking,” he says. “We could try that tissue-skin-tearing-sexy-times idea. Think he cries pretty? I can tell you think he cries pretty. That’d be fun, wouldn't it? Sure it would. You’d have a grand time.”

Martin ignores him because Kayne doesn’t matter.

Kayne flails like a bored toddler. “Uuughh. Fine. Hastur’ll discard him anyway, once this is all done. We’ll take him along in one of those designer dog purses. Muzzled. You like that idea?”

Martin doesn’t answer.

“That’s what I thought.” Kayne continues to whistle.

[untothebreach]

I read this comic today, and it struck a chord for me in a familiar, bitter, sad way. There's a part where it talks about these characters having people in their lives to help them know when to rest - to force them to take care of themselves and remind them of its importance.

And something I can't help, that's plaguing me with almost all media at this point but comes out most profoundly around this topic, is the idea of a community around a person. Of close friends, confidants, of people reminding you to care for yourself or caring for you and who are close in one's life, and of having that sort of group with you that truly deeply loves and cares for and supports you through tough times like that.

My guess is it's a twisted sense of jealousy. I have always been a very jealous person, after all - it only makes sense that once I got rid of the inclination to be outwardly jealous, to lash out and scorn others because I desire something, it turns to being jealous in reverse and berating myself for what I want but don't have instead. Why do they have it and you don't? Well, instead of being mad at them, be mad at yourself for not working hard enough, or putting enough time in, or caring enough. Your relationships will suffer less - you can take on that burden, right?

I used to be a very jealous professional. I would be rampantly jealous of anyone my age or younger who was more successful, more popular, more talented in artistic fields than I was. I often blocked people on social media to prevent myself from seeing their work, even if it really was amazing, and felt deeply ashamed of myself for being further in years and somehow not putting in enough time or effort to be where they already are. It was toxic, and I've tried to put it behind me...

But it's stayed with friendships.

I'm a jealous friend. I know these inclinations are toxic, so I do my best to dissuade them - I don't need to be upset when people talk to others instead of me, or spend time with other people, or have lifes that revolve around their own interests and activities. It isn't a judgement, or a choice they are making to scorn me, and I don't need 100% of their time.

But what I HAVE stayed jealous of is connection.

I see myself as a very disconnected person. Rarely am I reached out to, or hung out with, or generally shown to have people care about me unless I do it first. Rarely do I feel like someone truly knows and gets me, or cares and wants to be around me. I have a very poor sense of community, which is something I don't think I'll ever be able to build for myself, and I generally assume I'm going to be alone for the large majority of my life - emotionally, if not physically.

Which is why posts like this hit me so specifically in such a particularly cruel, painful way. They are meant to be supportive, showing how good and loving people in your life can be and how important it is to know those around you care for you. But for someone like me, whose work is their life and whose friends seem further and further every day, these things seem more like a tantalizing fantasy than a reality. I want what they have, so desperately, and knowing I'll never achieve it I can only look inside and pick apart all the ways I drive off that sense of community and all the ways it's my fault that I'll never be someone with people around them like that.

I rarely rest unless prompted. It's hard for me. I like to keep busy, and I had it drilled into me at a young age (and reinforced aggressively in college) that if I am not working I'm useless, and if I'm standing still I'll disappear. I have no worth outside my work - in my eyes, I have no people who see me as worthwhile without what I can Do. So the idea of having someone close to me tell me to rest, to care for me enough to tuck me in, makes me honestly cry.

It's like a guilty fantasy, I'm ashamed to want it, and I'm ashamed I even dare to think I don't have it because of what that says about how I perceive my friends and my own self worth. I know I shouldn't feel this way, that I'm a failure for feeling this way, but I can't help it. I long for it, yearn for it in a way that's almost like longing for a lover. Tenderness, community, care, rest... things I don't think I'll ever really see again. Not in the way I'll ever want to.

[starstrucksheepbarbarian]

THE REAPER

And so, I was tied upside down. I thought I was blindfolded but the room was dark. I remembered

that I was possessed by the reaper’s spirit. How my bones rattled, my hands twisting like a clown

making a shape out of a balloon. I could feel the pain but could not act to my own accord. It was

dark and I saw red eyes in a black hoody getting close to me. Then one of its arms appeared with

a scythe. It was sharp and glowing with a white color. I had no control over my body and I knew

that it was the end of me.

Am I actually supposed to listen to everything my grandfather says? He tells me stories that

completely sound made up and I just have to be there pretending to be an active listener. Myths

and legends be told and every time he starts, my brain goes dumb. As he starts, I try to listen. But

unfortunately, he doesn’t know that I use his voice as a way to my dreamland. His voice is the type

to make you think very deep and reflect on the issues u think of. And of course sometimes it would

happen that his words would make there way through my head and I would imagine his words

being put in action as I would be in my dreamland but still, I’d enjoy his voice but I never really

knew why he used to tell me all those stories.

One night he called me. From the looks of his condition I could tell that he was dressing his soul

to immortality. But he didn’t want to tell me anything. He called me for a good time story.

“Becca, I know I’ve told you a couple of good stories in the past years but I think it’s time I told

you about The Reaper”. He said.

“What’s that supposed to be? A person who harvests or….?”. I asked

His condition was not good that he could be able to tell a story. Deep down I wanted him to tell

the story but it would mean him wasting his time telling me things I won’t even listen to. But he

still insisted. I had no choice but to try my best to listen to every word he said. Unfortunately, soon

after he started explaining what the Reaper was, I zoned out and begun imagining myself riding

on a horse. Then in my imaginations I heard “the harvest festival, the green glowing garden and

the red poisonous gas”. The moment I immediately wanted to start listening, he came close to me and said “I must go in, the fog is rising”. I honestly had no idea why he said that but the one thing

I knew for certain was that he wasn’t feeling well.

The night he went to sleep, the following morning he never woke up. Just like all my relatives, he

died a mysterious death. My brother was out on the playground then a whirlwind cut off his head

but the shocking thing was that blood never oozed and rumor has it that he still blinks facing the

moon in his casket. Soon after my birth, my mom suffered from excessive bleeding as it was told

that she had no blood left in her body but her arms still moved and she pointed in the direction of

the moon. And finally, my cousin sister lost her lower body in a plane crush. Her upper body was

seen swimming away from where the lower body was until it drowned while going in the direction

of the moon. But the lower body was being dragged towards the woods by an invincible force. The

shocking thing was, my father was always present before and after all of these were happening.

My grandfather had his doubts about him and so he conducted a ritual on me then we never saw

him again. All these events would happen during each and every night of the harvest festival

If only there was a proper way to mourn my grandfather’s death. But unfortunately, as I went out

to call the neighbors, for some reason his body started decaying and then slowly turning to ash.

The pile of ash formed a wavy tail, the top from the tip of the tail formed two hands. Next thing I

realized the top from the hands formed a head whose middle was a spiral void. It then snapped its

fingers and then disappeared. Who was my grandfather? I felt like I never knew him. My mourning

turned into terror. I felt like the stories he was telling me were coming to life. That was creepy and

terrifying.

Days passed like hours and soon it was the harvest festival. Each and every time I would be asked

where my grandfather went, I’d say he went to run an errand. If only I knew much about him. But

anyway, less focused on the past and more living for what is coming. Everyone in the

neighborhood was busy harvesting their crops and rejoicing and I wondered if my grandfather had

a farm. Dusk covered the sky as I watched people around me celebrate and eat what they harvested.

I closed my eyes and I saw a dark cloak on the ground and a scythe on the wall. Then an image of

an old garden appeared and I saw a man in the farm holding a pumpkin. He dropped the pumpkin

and I saw him stitching all the body parts he was collecting. It wasn’t a mistaken identity. That

was my father. He stitched all the parts and needed a heart. It would’ve been my grandfather’s

heart but he prepared his death well. I was the only surviving member of the family. He took five speedy steps and next thing I realized his hand was through my chest. But he failed to pull out my

heart and so he snapped his fingers and I was back to my reality. Or was I not? Everything felt

normal but the people were no longer there. Then I saw the image I saw after my grandfather had

died. Happy I felt because I knew that it was him, he then drew a circle in the air as he was floating

in his ghostly state. Then the green glowing garden he used to talk about appeared and he handed

to me a red glowing orb and pointed to the garden and he made me visualize myself throwing it.

I started running towards the green glowing garden and I saw him still stitching all the parts and

made an opening on the chest of the stitched corpse. The moment he saw the red orb he brought

his hands together and my motion was no more. I had no idea why all this was happening but I just

had to stop him. His motion inhibitor ritual ceased and I knew it was too late and so I just threw

the orb to where he was. Unfortunately, it was after he took the cloak and the scythe and covered

the stitched corpse. He then made an opening on his chest and transplanted his heart to the corpse

and placed the corpse in the glowing field and a barrier formed soon after. He died inhaling the

gas. Or maybe he was already dead but just wanted to protect the corpse. The gas was meant to

melt the corpse but he was the one who melted. I thought I did it but that was not the case.

When I got close to see what was going on, his hand pointed to the direction of the moon and the

moon turned red. Then the green glowing fluid covered the corpse and then the reaper rose

spreading its always sideways holding its scythe in its left arm. It had no sense of sight but it felt

my presence. It was after my eyes and as I started running, it appeared right in front of me and

gorged out my eyeballs and vanished. Then my grandfather’s ghost possessed me. It then led me

to the dungeon where the reaper was. It all felt so real but unfortunately there were no people

around and so I considered it to be another realm of torment. But this was real. The reaper then

went to the realm of the living and started poisoning all the food people harvested during the

harvest festival with a sticky fluid that penetrated all that it landed on. Each and every time

someone ate what they harvested, they would collapse and take a different form that made them

look creepy and scary.

My father was evil right from the start. His aim was to bring hell on earth and hell has been brought

upon and everyone is becoming the reaper’s companion. Blind as I was, I could see what was

going on thanks to my grandfather. The only way to stop the reaper from spreading the virus was

to bring it back to its dungeon and set a barrier in it. It was possible for my grandfather to do it because he possessed me and he took the human form once more. He drew a circle in the sky and

I saw the reaper. He led me to it and then made me seal it from no longer coming to the human

realm. We both then vanished and were brought to the dungeon and a barrier was set. It tried to

vanish but failed to go back. Next thing I realized the reaper took control over my body and

absorbed my grandfather’s ghost and it hanged me upside down. It left me blind but with part of

my grandfather’s sight, I saw it move out of me and the room turned dark. I could only see hazy

images of the reaper having its red eyes holding the sharp scythe coming to cut off my head. At

least I knew that the realm of humanity was safe from the devil. I could sense that people started

healing from the virus the reaper caused and I smiled while the reaper was approaching. It sliced

my head out. I could still see it wondering around to escape but it couldn’t. I smiled again as my

head was still on the ground. Then everything went totally blank.

The End

[kimdokjas]

hi everyone, i'm so glad to be back!!!

so just to give you guys an update on what happened—my account was suspended for almost a whole month.

basically it was just staff holding my account hostage for no real reason ;A; and the result was that my blog appeared deactivated, all of my posts vanished from the tags, asks i sent got eaten by tumblr, and all my dms disappeared during that time.

(to clarify: apparently it was for having too many urls? but most of them were actually active which was weird? and then staff took forever to reply to my emails only to finally be like "here's the list of urls you need to delete or we'll terminate your account forever (:" and the list was just. urls of either actually active group sideblogs or sideblogs i'm not even an admin of and couldn't physically delete even if i wanted to so. i was basically stuck in limbo for a good while until staff finally listened to reason.)

i've spent a lot of time and care curating my blog over the years, as well as building friendships with a lot of wonderful people i've met here—and to have it all suddenly taken away was a really scary experience. these past few weeks i've just been worrying about what would happen if my account got suddenly deleted for good.

still, i'm so thankful that i was able to keep in touch with several of you through discord!

even so, several friends reached out asking me if i blocked them and whether they had done something wrong which is just heartbreaking to me—i'm truly so sorry if anyone thought i blocked them for even a second, it just makes me so sad to think about.

this is the main reason why i just wanted to explain a bit what happened to hopefully clear up any possible misunderstandings.

i really hope nothing like this happens again, but just in case— you can also find me on anilist here (i've been slowly trying to get the hang of it lmao) and mutuals are always free to ask for my discord!

also, thank you to everyone who still kept tagging me in their lovely edits! i'm still tracking #usernikiforova btw, i'm really sorry for the delay if anyone thought i stopped reblogging them! i swear i felt like i was looking sadly through a window at all your beautiful creations but being unable to reblog them ;-; just a heads up that it will probably take me a couple of days to catch up with all the posts but i promise i'll reblog all of them as soon as i can!

and finally, i really want to say a HUGE thank you to everyone who was able to reach out to me asking if i was okay and expressing your support—i was honestly so touched to receive your messages and you have no idea how much it meant to me to not feel so alone going through this. ily all so much <3

mutuals, if u could interact w this post just to make sure you've seen it i'd really appreciate it! also, please bear with me as i'll probably rb this a few times just to try to get the word out

[clawing my way out of my coffin already half-buried in the ground] I'M BACK

[imkylotrash]

Skin

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x reader

Request: The female reader is an archer and is skilled in the art of stealth. She is a member of the Crows. She’s slowly helping him get over his touch phobia. So far he’s only comfortable holding hands. On a mission with Jesper and Inej, a distraction is needed and the reader pins Kaz to a wall and kisses him before he can say or do anything. Turns out Kaz enjoyed the kiss but he’s too stubborn to admit it. I realize this may be out of character. Anonymous And Y/n and Kaz have a love/hate relationship, they tease and roll their eyes about one another. One job includes them dressing up and dancing together at a ball, Kaz can't keep his eyes off her and they flirt. One guy asks her to dance which pisses Kaz off and he ends the night confessing his love. Anonymous

Tagging: @bitchwhytho @music-of-melody @shadowhuntyi @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @sanktaesperanza @alice-the-nerd @glowingatdawn

"What are you doing, Kaz?" you mumble as you carefully get an arrow from your quiver. Your feet are firmly placed on the ground hip-width apart. Your eyes are focused on Kaz walking through the streets as you follow from rooftop to rooftop but he's just stopped to talk to someone. It's not part of the plan, but you stay put, watching him talk to a stranger that has no idea what personal space is. Poor Kaz, you think to yourself, imagining how much he must be struggling to keep calm with someone so close to him.

"Jesper is further down the street waiting for Kaz." You almost fire an arrow from pure shock. Inej and you received the same training. She masters blending into the shadows just as well as you do, and she likes to misuse that for fun. Needless to say, you don't find it funny at all.

"One of these days, I'm going to actually hurt you," you breathe, returning your attention to Kaz. He's started walking again, so you and Inej follow him from the rooftops.

"It'll just be a consequence of my actions. Aim for a non-vital organ, please." You're not entirely sure she's joking, but there's a ghost of a smile on her face as you jump from one rooftop to the next. You're not entirely sure who you're stealing what from and why. You've never bothered with the details - that's Kaz' job. And as much as you like to tease him, you still follow his command. You are a Crow, after all.

He reaches Jesper, and they disappear into a garden. You share a look with Inej before taking a step over the edge of the roof, letting yourself drop to the ground.

"Bend your knees," you whisper right before you hit the ground. You've seen what happens when you don't prepare for the landing at the infirmary, and you have no intention of ending up like that. A couple of seconds later, Inej lands next to you. She disappears into the garden as well while you stay behind to survey the street for any activity.

A few minutes later, all three of them come running out. Kaz grabs you and takes off running. Inej and Jesper head in the opposite direction.

"Kaz, what is going on?" But he only shushes you, and you see why when two guards come storming after you. Kaz runs faster, and so do you.

"Turn here," you call, spotting a dark alley. You throw your quiver and bow into the dark and pin Kaz against the wall without hesitation. You've never done anything other than hold hands up until this point, and your plan involves a lot more than just holding hands.

"Trust me?" you ask out of breath.

"Always." His lips taste sweet and salty at the same time. It's pretty clear that Kaz has never kissed anyone before, but it's sort of cute how he has no idea what to do with his hands. You register the men running right past the alley, not bothering to check two people wrapped up in each other.

"Why did you do that?" he asks when you pull away. His hands are trembling, but otherwise, he seems okay.

"I had to think fast. And no one bothers with a couple kissing in a dark alley," you explain, feeling the ghost of the kiss linger on your lips. "Are you okay?"

"Of course I'm okay. Just don't do it again."

"What, you didn't like it?" you tease as you carefully make your way back to the main street.

"No. I didn't." You don't have time to reply before Inej and Jesper appear. Frankly, you don't even know what you'd say. You knew you weren't his favorite, but you didn't think he disliked you this much. Had you read too much into the moments shared between the two of you as you helped him with his phobia? When he locks eyes with Inej and smiles, you realize exactly why he wants to overcome his phobia - and why he chose you to help him.

-------

"Inej, can you help me with this thing?" you call, attempting to tie the corset yourself, but it's not tight enough. She appears in the doorway, watching you struggle for just a second before coming to your aid.

"You look lovely," you comment, seeing her dress in the mirror. She does really look lovely, but a little green monster has taken residence in your heart, so the compliment doesn't sound too convincing. It bothers you. Up until that night a couple of weeks ago, you had never considered Kaz like that, but now that you knew it wasn't an option, your heart ached for it.

"Please. I would have to arrive naked for people to notice me when you're wearing this dress." It was a pretty dress. The only thing you had left of your mother and the most expensive item you owned.

"Who's arriving naked?" Kaz stops dead in his tracks when he spots you.

"You look beautiful," he says, clearing his throat before looking over at Inej. Of course.

"It's time to go," he says, trying to avoid looking at you, but you catch him outright staring at you several times. Once you arrive at the palace, he offers his hand to help you out of the carriage. Surprised, you let him and immediately feel his skin.

"You're not wearing gloves?" you question, trying to ignore just how good it feels to hold his hand without a glove in between.

"Don't need them with you," he breathes, guiding you to the gates. Jesper helps Inej out of the carriage, and together you walk inside. It's a dull party, but mainly because you have to stay sober. You're here to spy on one of the rich men, but you've always hated reconnaissance missions.

"Can I have this dance?" You look over to find a stranger asking for your hand. He's handsome, but you're not going to dance with him. Before you have a chance to decline, Kaz steps in front of you.

"She's spoken for." He's deadly calm as he watches the man disappear into the crowd. It's kind of sexy how he can send a man running just by looking at him. But then you remind yourself that he likes Inej and not you, which makes you a little pissed that he answered for you.

"What if I wanted to dance with him?" you question, looking at the target and not Kaz.

"You're not dancing with anyone tonight. This is a mission, not a chance for you to get hitched."

"Right. One dance would immediately mean that I have to marry the guy," you say pretend like his words aren't daggers in your heart. He really thinks that low of you?

"Excuse me. I think I'll go find him." Kaz grabs your arm before you have a chance to move.

"Don't even think about it." There's a fire burning in his eyes, and you want nothing more than to put it out. He has no reason to act this way.

"Go find Inej and leave me alone." You want him to hurt the way you are right now. You're not his; you don't belong to him.

"What does Inej have to do with this?" He looks so confused as if you'd be stupid enough to not realize he has feelings for her. You pull away from him and disappear into the crowd. You're gone before he has a chance to follow you. Eventually, though, he does find you out on the balcony taking in the fresh air and completely ignoring that you were meant to watch the target.

"I don't think of Inej that way." You stand perfectly still, but you stop breathing. The only sign that you heard him.

"Yes, you do. I've seen the way you look at her."

"I only look at her to keep myself from looking at you. That night in the alley..."

"It was a mistake. You made that very clear." You take several steps away from him. He's too close, and he looks too good. It's not fair.

"I can't stop thinking about it." It's the final step that lets you cross the line from friendship to something else. Something new, something you have no idea what is.

"You told me to never do it again." This time, you don't move when he comes closer. Is he wearing a new perfume?

"Because I'm a foolish man." You breathe him in, his features bathed in the moonlight. He looks beautiful and right now, he's not looking at anyone else but you.

"Can I kiss you?" His hand finds its way to your cheek, and you lean into his touch. Skin against skin, fire against fire. You're burning up with anticipation. Too slowly, he closes the gap between the two of you, giving you one last time to reject him.

"Yes," you exhale right before your lips meet. This kiss is different. You can feel his hunger as he grabs your waist and pulls you closer. Neither of you returns to the party that night. Instead, Kaz takes you home and, for the first time since joining the Crows, you don't go to sleep in your own room.