#i started this draft in like December 2023

[sansxreaderbraindump]

"CROSSBONES AND HIS INFAMOUS NEMESIS, DEVIL SIDE!!"

(i want goofy villian reader so i wrote headcanons for it. i got this idea during ht san stream. Goofy readeer) also spoilers on ts underswap tho. if you dont wanna get spoiled (like milk), go watch someone play the full demo or play it yourself on gamejolt. YOUR OWN COOL VILLIAN NAME: DEVIL SIDE Real boring name: [name] ^ From time to time, you always change your villain name like "DEMON HARE, CHAOS BRINGER AND DESTRUCTIVE FUNNER and other cool villainous names you came up with" but you usually just stay with devil side to make it easy on your skeleton nemesis. How you got to this phase of your life: Back in the days, you used to work for Count Koffin-K. cooking up ideas for him, feeding jeremy, joined them on their random schemes, and did the dishes when the boogiemen didn't. Yet, you grown tired and wanted to do villain skits on your own. It was heartbreaking for Koffin-K and his boogiemen to set you off on your own like a parent sending off their child to collage. For one thing, Larry and Harry cried so hard they accidentally made a stream that Woshua struggled cleaning up but managed too victoriously :D. * It been a w-wicked time with y-you..I DONT WANNA LET YOU GO BUD WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! * I-IM W-WITH LA-LARRY I DONT WANNA LET GO EITHER WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-AHHHHHHHHH! LARRY, YOU IDIOT YOU'RE CRUSHING US! "A-as how h-heartwretching and painful this is, like really p-painful! LARRY FOR THE QUEEN'S SAKE COULD YOU STOP CRUSHING US TO DEATH!" As well as the boogiemen crying for you, Koffin-K didn't want you to see him shed a tear. he attempts to hide it away but you see right through him. In contrast, You comforted him and reassured him that on weekends you and him can collab on doing evil schemes together and visit the boss and the gang on the weekends. "aww boss didn't know you would cry for me." * WELL OF COURSE! HOW COULD I NOT WEEP FOR YOUR DEPARTURE! *sniff* *sniff* "aww gonna miss you too boss. but its not like I'm gonna be gone forever. we can Collab on doing evil stuff like ding dong ditch and I'll come visit you on the weekends." * ...Can you still do the dishes. "..there will be some setbacks." ALTER EGO SANS INTERACTION One day when you first met sans (his true form), you were done finishing up some traps and "kidnapping" a random monster who found for crossbones to save (with consent from the hostage. you will take full responsibility if they were to be hurt) You were ready to throw in a brick with an note for crossbones to find until you saw sans (crossbones) and mistaken him for crossbones. "NOW I HAVE YOU IN MY SIGHT CRO-!" "umm sorry but is that you crossbones?" *think again sweetheart. AH HAH! I KNEW IT! YOU AIN'T CROSSBONES, YOUR JUST A FAN "WHO LOOKS JUST LIKE HIM BUT DIFFERENT" (d-did you just call me sweetheart?) - he flirts with you on the daily basis, just to mess with you. its very fun. *also, the telescope costed 257 G. "WAIT WHAT, YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME-" *but for you, it has a discount off 100%. "..." (you ran away, blushing and grumbling while you're at it) *heh, cute.

YOU AND CROSSBONES - Crossbones thinks you're cute and a dork. A cute dork! - First time you guys met was at the costume party. You were planning to create your costume but procrastinated all month and didn't manage to finish it up in time. In shame, you just taped a piece of paper that said "pretend that I have the best costume you ever seen!" to your chest and hang out in the corner, enviously staring at the other people's cool costume. You could just go home but there was free food so you stayed there, eating all the cheese crackers. You thought you could not talk to anyone but you thought wrong. The comedic skeleton came up to you, reading the paper and said "that is the best costume I ever seen." the second meeting was when koffin-k toilet papered all 4 houses with the boogiemen including you. Then crossbones came in, saving the day. In a glance, He recognized you and you recognized him. What a twist a long time stanger turned out to be a villain full of mischief. You were captured with koffin-k but you land out a hand to help your boss escape in a quick sweep. You threw him like a frisbee out of the trenches of a shack. He escaped with your help and yelled out very loudly "I WILL COME BACK FOR YOU WITH BACKUP" while spinning in the wind. so there you were, alone with crossbones in the punishment shack. * nice villain costume by the way. Best costume I ever seen. "you still remember that?" Some interactions I came up, enjoy!

"YOU'LL NEVER DEFEAT ME CROSSBONES FOR I HAVE A PLAN F IN MY SLEEVES" *ok *quick gooey question, what do you want for dinner? "...Pizza." (papyrus in the distant): SANS STOP MAKING DINNER DATES WITH THE ENEMY!! - also if you and crossbones were married 👀, you and him would do enemies to lovers domestic role playing. "WAIT YOU, MY NEMESIS WANT ME TO TAKE ME OUT ON A DATE!!?!? *we are married, you dork. "sans pleaseee, just play along :(" *alr alr if it makes you happy." - Dark side love nicknames for crossbone MY RIVIAL, MY NEMESIS, THE BONES WHO FOILS MY EVIL PLANS, THE BONELY ONE TO STEAL MY SOUL, sans♥ - crossbones love nicknames for dark side dork, cute dork.

- One time when you got grumpy with crossbones because you planned more to show but got captured by him too early. In attempt to get you stop being all pouty, crossbones held you bridal style carry while you were tied up, but that didn't work instead you gave him something even much worse. The silent treatment, But that didn't last for long, he gave a smooch on your cheek to stop you being all grumpy with him. *aw don't turn into the grumpy side [name]. "mmm >:(" *even worse, the silent side. *well good thing I know how to bring them back. *mwah❤ "...FINE FINE YOU WON!" *Welp off to the punishment shack we go.

Extras - i named them devil side because y'know in undertale/deltarune we are the angel (that is what I believe). so I called them the opposite like "ahahaha i am devil side" but inside they are an angel in heart. - also i thought of devil side (you) to be like a character that belongs in this world. I think it was clever, cuz its swap over you the player is now devil side and you belong in this world well a version of you that is...

[therentyoupay]

Hii kris can you give us a teeny tine spoiler for More thank you know finale 🤣? I just really can't wait for you to post the final chapter 😭😭

a TEENY TINY ONE?? i'm not sure i can 🤣🤣🤣🤣 but here's what i CAN say:

calli had the original vision for all of mtyk from the very beginning of everything (premise, ending, final scene), which was inspired from a single "what if...?" scenario from our list on our brainstorming google doc from like summer 2023; calli had always had One Very Specific Moment mind for the ending-ending of the whole mtyk series... however, in the end, we didn't actually end up using That Specific Moment in the story (kris ended up changing it to SLIGHTLY MORE ANGST because we both like to suffer)

on that note, kris ended up adding like 15k words after That (Revised) Specific Moment oops sorry not sorry

pretty sure we've mentioned this before, but before any of the Heroes' Journey arc was imagined for the project (i.e., the bulk of act iii), calli had literally just written in the google doc: 'kris add jelsa adventure stuff here!' under "act III" header, and then a series of our whatsapp audio messages and brainstorming chats spawned all of parts i-vii oops 😂

kris LITERALLY wrote most of the entire mtyk story (parts i-vi) in the span of literally like two and a half weeks near the end of summer, and then together we relentlessly fine-tuned/proofread/edited/beta'd each part, week by week as we posted each to ao3; the whole time, we left the final part (part vii) unwritten until part vi was being written, to make sure we had the full scope of jack and elsa's journeys before writing any of the final scenes

once part vi was posted on ao3, kris started writing and fine-tuning vii in earnest; calli literally beta'd the whole "finished" final chapter and then kris had a stroke of inspiration like two or three weeks later and wrote 12-15k more words and calli had to beta the whole thing all over again 🤣

part vii is WRITTEN, and is BETA'd, and is FINISHED, and exists on ao3 as a DRAFT, complete with full author notes and end notes! as soon as the final part of the youtube series is finished, the final chapter shall be posted simultaneously and we shall click that little "Post" button 💕 all that's left is the youtube video! but kris and calli are in final year of PhD program/the first year of med school, respectively, and we are LOCKED INto career responsibilities this month, so we are hopeful for an ✨(early??? mid????) December final-chapter release✨

GO SHARE SOME LOVE WITH CALLI, who is literally, i repeat, TRAINING TO BECOME A DOCTOR AND IS VERY BUSY AND AMAZING 🤣

(A CHRISTMAS TREAT PERCHANCE???)

the final chapter is 19,111 words 👀

LOVE YOUUUU THANK YOU NONNY 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

[emmi-hayes]

This is a dumb ramble about 2024, and how the year went, and how I have @hamspamandjamsandwich to thank for a lot of the happiness I found throughout the year. I just wanted a space to journal and look back on in years to come.

As December 2023 was coming to a close, I was a bit overwhelmed and burntout.

I didn’t want to write out goals for 2024 (which I honestly regret looking back) but I did say out loud to myself that I deserved to get back into things I enjoyed. I’d stopped watching my shows, was out of fandom spaces, and did nothing creative with my time. It had been like this for a number of years.

So I told myself I would seek out fandom spaces, and that I would write fanfic.

I thought I’d just scroll tumblr and finally write a fic I’d drafted for The Raven Cycle back in….2015?

Instead I found a wonderful community over on Discord. Puck had created the Kurahi Server, and honestly it’s been such a joy for me this ENTIRE YEAR.

Then, Puck inspired me to try writing. So I did. I was so happy when I’d reached 1,500 words in one of my og fandoms. I was doing the thing! But it didn’t stop there. I’ve gone on to participate in my first Big Bang hosted by @yyh-revival, publish multiple fanfics, and I’ve written over 230k words. 🥹

I have surpassed my wildest dreams. I never anticipated finishing a fic. I’ve finished eight! Closing in on nine! After a ten year writing hiatus, I’m amazed at what I’ve accomplished.

I have met so many wonderful people through the YYH fandom, and I’m beyond grateful. I so thankful I told myself to just try! I’m so thankful for Puck, she really was the person that got me started down this path. I’m so glad to have met so many others, including Batch, and Morgankit, and Cris, and many many more.

There’s not a real point to this post other than just try! Just do the thing you want, even if life’s not perfectly set up for it at the moment.

[theroseiswithoutawherefor]

Well, first of all, I have to thank @yridenergyridenergy for selling me the ticket! It was literally the best experience I had throughout the year; I really, really, sincerely appreciate it.

As promised, this is my repo of the gig in Wakayama. To be honest, I’m really a bad recorder as I can only recall the sensation or vibe in general and forget the details every time. Am I the only one?? Anyway, I guess my drawings may not be precise at all and it would be more like a summary of the year.

And this repo will be focusing on Kaoru, Toshiya and Kyo. I’m sorry but I stood on the left in both times.

Kaoru

It’s so strange that I can easily feel my love for him grows with time and what a coincidence! I visited them twice this year and I was right in front of him every time. I always assumed that I would be in front of Toshiya when I checked the hall map in December, but no! It was Kaoru again! It kinda shocked me the time I located my seat and noticed his microphone stand was there, just about 2 meters away.

I think probably it has been known by all of you, the show started with a semi-transparent screen showing some AI-generated footage(sorry, I hate this part). It covered most of the setting but just revealed some shadows. I could only see Kaoru, his side profile, priest-alike gown and silver hair. He looked so focused and indifferent and so good-looking…my hands are still sweating as I recall it now.

That was my first time listening to Rinkaku on-site. I got caught up in emotion when you could easily compare themselves in reality and their sketches in the video. You could see how much they have changed and it also just reminded me a lot of moments, staying at home and staring them on the screen. The real vs the virtual.

Also, at the beginning from the distance, I could only see some sort of marks on his chin that looked pretty much like piercings? It turned out to be his makeup; so brilliant.

Kyo

I didn’t see Kyo that much this time, but I feel he is that kind of vocal that you would fall in love with once you’ve actually seen him in the venue. He looked so nostalgic to me this time, maybe bc of the ghost face makeup or the fact that I have seen him too much this year. I also went to HK for sukekiyo this year.

The gig of sukekiyo was more emotional, floating and spacey (and less aggressive, obviously). Kyo’s dedication was so contagious. Although he looked a little bit nervous at the beginning of the Day1, forgetting the lyrics now and then lol.

It is interesting to see the similarities and differences between Diru and Sukekiyo, like looking at different reflections of the same mirror.  

Btw probably he is the most inspiring Diru member to me I guess. Idk why drawing kyo always begins with a pretty satisfying draft then it becomes a big challenge to my expertise and patience ahhhh. But yeah, I can improve a lot after finishing it. So, kyo, thx? lol

Toshiya

I’m not quite a fan of his white outfit that day(the one worn in the pic of their tweet on 16th Dec). Actually I even failed to recognize him the first, waistcoat and palazzo trouser are ok but definitely not the most stunning look of him. It seems that his style is becoming more gender-neutral this year, with hair dyed brown, pearl jewelries and feminine makeup.

But I still quite enjoyed his performance, his body language was so beautiful (ugh! It’s such a shame that I can’t recreate it)and he was the first one going to the left terrace and saying hi to everyone. Toshiya is always the sweetest person in Diru to me.

I prefer his encore look more and he took off the shirt and threw it to the gift right in front of him

（and a random sketch）

That’s it! I could have drawn more but, sorry I’m a perfectionist, these pics really took me some time, but I may keep going if I have spare time.

And I’m not used to talking so much on the Internet, it is embarrassing somehow.  

The year of 2023 has treated me rly good, I hope it would be the same for all of you and Diru members, see you next year.

[toasttt11]

ow

December 9, 2023

Cameron looked up just as she saw a player on the other team coming at her and she was smashed into the board but that wasn’t what hurt, it was the large other player that smashed her tiny hand with his knee against the boards.

Cameron immediately felt something crack and knew something was wrong as she leaned against the board holding her dominant hand to her chest, “Ow.” Cameron quietly whimpered biting her lip from letting any tears fall not wanting that to be caught on camera.

Fraser froze as he watched everything in front of him before quickly snapping out and hurrying over to her and pushing the other player away from Cameron and towards their team so they could make sure he stayed away from Cameron.

Fraser wrapped his arm around her shoulder hoping it might help her a little as he watched the trainer rush across the ice and towards them, “Your okay.” Fraser whispered softly rubbing her shoulder softly.

Fraser grabbed onto her hand gently as the trainer started looking at her injured hand and he frowned seeing the uneasy look on the trainers face and knew it wasn’t good.

It did not help the hand she injured is her dominant hand, an injury is something you never want but for Cameron this is her draft year so an injury is a lot worse right now.

Cameron gave Fraser a reassuring nod as she skated over to the bench, there was only a few minutes left of the period.

Cameron was guided to the trainer room and immediately they looked at her hand and could see the swelling and bruising starting and they knew she would must likely need to get to the hospital, they took a an x-ray and saw multiple breaks and fractures in her hand.

The trainers helped Cameron get dressed into comfortable clothes just as Fraser was dressed after the game and knocking on the door.

“How bad?” Fraser questioned in concern the second he walked into the room and straight over to Cameron.

“I have to go to the hospital, they found a few breaks and fractures.” Cameron quietly told him, she knew she needed to call her dad.

“Let’s go then.” Fraser nodded determinedly and stepped out of the way so she could get off the exam table.

“You don’t have to-“ Cameron tried to protest even though she knew it would be easier if Fraser came with her.

“I want to.” Fraser sternly reassured her and she nodded reluctantly and stood up as she gingerly held her hand to her body trying to not groan at how much pain she was feeling.

Fraser wrapped an arm around Cameron’s shoulder as they walked out, he guided her making sure no one accidentally brushed against her, he led them to his car and they luckily carpooled for the game that day.

He opened the passenger seat and put a tentative hand on waist as he helped her into the car and he grabbed the seat belt pulling it across her and clicking it shut, he shut the door and walked around the car hopping into the drivers seat starting the drive to the closet hospital.

Fraser drove them and stayed silent as Cameron called her dad to let him know about her injury as she saw all the worried texts from him as Sidney was watching his daughter’s game.

Sidney promised he would be there in a few hours as he is going to head right now to the airport and luckily he didn’t have any games for three days but it’s not like he wouldn’t miss a game for Cameron especially with her hurt.

Fraser could tell Cameron was in a lot of pain and was trying to stay strong but he had no doubt it was a lot of pain.

They finally pulled up to the hospital and he immediately parked and hopped out of the car rushing to open the passenger door and helping Cameron out of the car.

Cameron was brought into a room and the doctors did another round of x-rays and it was determined she needed surgery immediately especially with how delicate hands are and how many of the bones in her hand was broken.

Cameron was given a room and she changed into a gown getting in the bed, she was biting her lip nervously, she has never had surgery before and by the time her dad gets here she will be done with the surgery.

“Hey.” Fraser spoke softly gently grabbing her non injured hand and squeezing it softly, he could tell she was nervous, “I’ll be here the whole time okay.” Fraser gently reassured the girl who he fell in love with at first sight.

“Ok.” Cameron nodded and took a deep breath trying to relax and focus on the fact Fraser is holding her hand rather than her upcoming surgery.

Fraser gently caressed her knuckles with his thumb watching as she slowly relax little by little.

The nurse came in to grab Cameron to take her to her surgery and Fraser could not follow her.

“You are going to do great Cam and before you know it you’ll be awake and it will over with and your Dad will be here.” Fraser softly whispered to her and Cameron slowly nodded sending him a small smile, Fraser leaned down and pressed a delicate kiss to her forehead and squeezed her hand once more before stepping back and watching her get rolled away.

Fraser headed to the surgical waiting area and he sat down looking at his feet not moving for a very long time until he heard someone rushing and Cameron’s name being said.

Fraser looked up and saw a frazzled Sidney Crosby at the counter, he took a deep breath as stood up walking over, “Mr. Crosby.” Fraser called out softly.

Sidney turned around at sound of his voice and hoped for once it was not a fan he was to stressed with Cameron to deal with anyone.

Sidney narrowed his eyes and immediately knew who called his voice, his daughter’s crush.

“Mr. Minten.” Sidney nodded his head.

“Just Fraser please. Did they tell you about Cam.” Fraser questioned gently noticing how Sidney has some of the same quirks as Cameron when she is anxious.

Sidney nodded his head as the nurse had just informed him everything, he knew his daughter would not be playing for awhile especially with the fact she hurt her shooting hand, selfish Sidney didn’t hate the idea of her not playing because she would be home for a bit.

“Good.” Fraser nodded and before he could say anything else a doctor walked of doors and into the waiting room.

“Family of Cameron.” The doctor called out and Sidney started walking and noticed Fraser staying put and gestures for Fraser to come too, Sidney may not personally know the boy but his daughter likes and trusts him and that is important to Sidney, Also Fraser stayed the whole time with Cameron something Sidney couldn’t be there for.

“Mr. Crosby.” The doctor nodded, “Good news is the survey went very well, the not so great news is we had to a few more screws that we originally planned so we will have to monitor that as she heals to see if she will be able to keep all of them in permanently or some may need to be removed.” 
Sidney let out a sight, the news could’ve of been a lot worse.

“Thank you.” Sidney thanked the Doctor shaking his hand, “What would the recovery time be?” Sidney questioned.

“With how much she broke in her hand the recovery time will be a bit longer than a normal hand break, roughly around two months.”

Sidney nodded but felt pain that his daughter would be gone for so long during her season.

“And is she free to travel on plane?” Sidney questioned again, he planned to take her home as soon as possible.

“She will be, and we can coordinate rehabs and appointments for where she is going.” The doctor told him.

“Thank you.” Sidney smiled grateful and shook the doctor’s hand once more before a nurse told Sidney and Fraser they could go to her room as she was brought back and should be waking up soon.

Sidney grabbed his bag and followed Fraser as they walked through the hallway towards Cameron’s room.

“Thank you Fraser.” Sidney spoke up after quite a bit of silence, “For being there for my daughter today and all of the other days since she has met you.”

“Oh of course Mr. Crosby.” Fraser started talking but was politely cut off by Sidney.

“Just Sidney.” Sidney nodded, he knew how important Fraser is to Cameron and knew he needed to be kind with him.

“Of course Sidney.” Fraser smiled softly as they reached her door and they walked in seeing her still sleeping.

Sidney let out a long sight of relief seeing his daughter and dropped his bag walking over to her and gently kissed her forhead and brushed her hair out of her face.

Fraser walked around to the other side of her bed and gently grabbed onto her hand.

Fraser and Sidney stayed in silence for a good hour before Cameron’s eyes started to fluttered open.

“Hey CamBug.” Sidney softly whispered smiling down at her.

“Dad.” Cameron breathed out in relief feeling her shoulders loosen having her dad with her now.

“How are you? Are you in pain? Should i get the nurse?” Sidney started frantically asking looking exactly like a very protective father.

Fraser smiled softly as he watched the two, he knew Cameron has a very close bond with her father especially as it has just always been them but seeing them it was very sweet to watch.

“Dad. I’m okay. We can call the nurse in a bit.” Cameron softly cut off her father from asking more questions.

Sidney nodded letting out a breath.

Cameron seemed to just realize her hand was being held and turned seeing Fraser standing there, “Fras.” Cameron softly smiled feeling very touched that he was still here.

“Hi Cam.” Fraser softly replied back squeezing her hand.

“You stayed?” Cameron questioned in disbelief but the smile on her face was very olease something neither Sidney or Fraser missed.

“You were here.” Fraser simply answered back making Cameron’s face soften in complete fondness for the boy.

Sidney nodded slowly, any reservations he may of had about Fraser were gone then. He saw immediately how Fraser looked at his daughter like she was the stars in his skyline and Sidney knew Fraser was perfect for his daughter.

[puckpocketed]

Sharks 2024 11OA draft pick Sam Dickinson got featured in NHL.com’s CHL roundup. I’m putting it here for archival purposes <3 if you have a minute, please enjoy reading about Dickie bullying the shit outta children in the OHL during his D+1 year!!

Published December 1st, 2024 (link) CHL notebook: Sharks like what they see in London defenseman Dickinson, by Adam Kimelman.

No. 11 pick in 2024 NHL Draft 'just wants to be the best that he can be'

photo credit: Wild Ave. Photography

Sam Dickinson certainly had a solid season in 2023-24, finishing fourth among OHL defensemen in scoring and helping London reach the Memorial Cup championship game.

But he also had to deal with the pressure every player feels in his NHL draft season. But those feelings were alleviated when the San Jose Sharks selected him with the No. 11 pick in the 2024 NHL Draft.

A more relaxed Dickerson has his focus solely on playing, and the result has been a dominant start to the season.

Dickinson leads OHL defensemen in goals (13), assists (27) and points (40) in 23 games. He's tied for third in the league in scoring among all players, and is tied for the OHL lead with eight power-play goals.

"It's obviously a little bit of a different season, maybe a little more relaxed not having to worry about some of those [draft-related] things," Dickinson said. "But for me, it's always just been about focusing on hockey and kind of not really trying to let the outside noise and the outside stuff kind of get into my head.

"So I think that's been a big focus for this year, leaving the outside stuff for a different time, not worrying about it, especially when I'm showing up to the rink for practices, for games, whatever it may be. Just kind of leaving the outside noise, focusing on myself and on the team, and just kind of worrying about hockey and the London Knights and how I can help the team win as many games as possible."

Dickinson has done most of that with his offensive ability. He had 30 points (eight goals, 22 assists) during a 13-game point streak that ended Nov. 24. He has at least a point in 20 games, including a six-point game (one goal, five assists) in a 6-5 win at Saginaw on Nov. 23; it was the first six-point game by a defensemen since Pavel Mintyukov for Saginaw on March 11, 2022.

It also was one of Dickinson's 10 multipoint games, and he has two hat tricks.

But more than the offense, the Sharks have been impressed by other details in Dickinson's game.

"Obviously you want players to put up numbers and be successful," San Jose director of player development Todd Marchant said, "but it's some of the little things that we've been working on with Sam, with going back for pucks, on retrievals, shoulder checking and those sorts of things that you really need to have if you want to play in the National Hockey League."

Marchant and the Sharks development staff were able to but a plan in place for Dickinson earlier than other prospects because they were able to watch him last season.

"In a player development role you don't get a chance to see the players a lot usually in their draft year, but we did because we had another player in London in [forward] Kasper Halttunen," Marchant said. "So when he was available to us at No. 11, we were ecstatic. We were very, very happy."

Dickinson is just as happy to be part of what San Jose is building with a young core that includes forwards Macklin Celebrini, the No. 1 pick of the 2024 draft, and Will Smith, the No. 4 pick of the 2023 NHL Draft. He got a preview during training camp, when he got into two preseason games, and is hungry to do what it takes to get even more as soon as next season.

"Getting in those preseason games and all that, it was an unbelievable experience, and kind of gave you a bit of a realization of really how close I could be to potentially playing in San Jose and in the NHL real soon," Dickinson said. "I think the big thing for me when I was getting in those games was taking everything in, seeing the speed, the strength, the physicality, how fast the game is played at that level. It was huge for me to kind of play at that speed and play at that level. A big thing for me was when I came back [to London] was continuing to play at the speed and at the level that was played in those preseason games."

The Sharks have seen that and more from Dickinson and are just as excited about his future.

"The National Hockey League has the best players in the world, and that's something that every young player strives to get to," Marchant said. "Sam is no different. You look at some of the things that he's able to do, both from an offensive standpoint and a defensive standpoint ... he's one of those guys that just wants to be the best that he can be every single night. And we're seeing that firsthand."

[seonghwanotes]

new years eve | jeong yunho

pairing: yunho x reader

genre: fluff

word count: 953

a/n: this was originally a collab but i completed the ending bc the writer i collabed with had closed her acc so yeah, this had me thinking for a lil bit. ALSO THE GIF 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 im getting bias wrecked big time, i cannot imagine being yunhonotes 😭 (21 Aug 2021)

a/n: as i write this, it is 28th sept 2023 😭 had this in my drafts for a while, did not proofread at all so will just post this up for now x

It was finally the most awaited week of the whole year, Christmas week. It was a family tradition for everyone to start preparing for Christmas when December came by but this year round, you were away from your family and you were spending it with Yunho and his friends. Considering that everyone was busy with their own schedules and you finally got a break till New Years, you began your preparation a little later than usual.

But as usual, Christmas went by in a blink of an eye. Right after you had taken down the Christmas tree all by yourself, you let out a loud sigh, feeling a little sad. It certainly felt a little different since it was something you’d do together with your family members but it didn’t feel as lonely since you were with your loving boyfriend.

You grabbed your phone off the couch and took a picture of the now dismantled tree, sending it to Yunho who was at practice with the boys. Not even a second passed, he had seen your message and immediately called you.

“Oh, hello?”

“Y/N, how can you take down the tree without me helping you out? It must have been hard, especially with the upper part of the tree.” He scolded you, making you chuckle.

“Yunho, it’s fine. I was gonna do it by today anyway and I was free after you left so I just got it done. You would be home later anyway. I used a chair in case you were wondering.” You replied back, earning a sigh from him. You didn’t need to be next to him to see his pout and know that he was upset for not helping you out.

You waited for a bit as you sat down, grabbing your gifts you got for Yunho along with the gift wrapper. You set your call on speaker mode and put your phone down. You could only hear some of the boys whispering to each other but it wasn’t too audible since the background music was blocking their voices out.

“Okay, okay. I’m sorry I didn’t wait till you came home but tomorrow’s New Years eve! You know I don’t like keeping the tree up for longer than 3 days. Anyway, I’m going to the supermarket soon to get some stuff for our dinner tomorrow.” You told him, still not getting a response back. “Should I get champagne too?”

You and Yunho spent a homely Christmas together as everyone was with their family except for the two of you. It was not much but work has definitely made your lives much more busier, causing you two to not get presents for each other in time that you were doing it pretty late. Not that it mattered to you at this age but you felt bad for not carrying out a simple task.

You started wrapping your presents, occasionally glancing at your phone to see if he was about to end the call since he wasn’t answering you back. There was some light bickering among the boys but you couldn’t hear what they were talking about. “Jeong Yunho, If you wanted to help me out so badly, do me a favour and ask the boys what they would want for gifts or I’m wrapping vegetables for all 8 of you.”

Your threat seemed to slightly work as you heard Mingi chime at the other side of the call, “Ya, I don’t want vegetables this year. You better ask her for her size or I’m asking her myself!”

Size? Your size for what? You were about to voice out but Yunho cut you to it. “Well, that sounds fine. Go ahead, baby.”

“So you want me to get vegetables for them?” You questioned, earning a yell from Jongho.

“Y/N! Don’t listen to hyung! Get us what you feel like getting us except vegetables… what? Oh, no mint chocolate for Hongjoong hyung and Seonghwa hyung. We love you!” He yelled, making you laugh. These boys were enough to make you feel like you were at home.

“Not sure why I’m on speaker mode but okay.” You answered back, hearing someone getting a hard smack. You were about to end the call but stopped when Yunho called out. “Baby, wait! One more thing.”

“Yeah?”

“Your hand is almost the same as San’s right?” The question almost came out as a whisper, Yunho knowing you would get agitated at that question since your hands were the size of a child compared to his delicate giant ones.

“You know the answer already. Why are you even asking this? Are you getting me a bracelet from Pandora or what?” You asked him, sealing the gift wrapper with a ribbon on top for Yunho’s gift, which was a Rolex watch and matching rings that you’ve been eyeing for a while now.

A silence was heard initially, then a voice followed along. “Yeah, would rose gold do?”

Your cheeks flushed, “Ah, um, yeah. See you later then. Tell the boys to be early tomorrow. Oh, I’ll get 3 bottles of champagne then, okay?”

“Okay, sure thing. Yes, 3 is fine. I love you.” Yunho replied, sending a kiss through the call.

“Love you too.” You responded and ended the call.

One gift wrapped and there was more to go. You sighed, pushing them away for awhile and opened your laptop to surf the internet, making a list on what to buy for the boys, wanting it to be meaningful as well. Even if Christmas wasn’t as joyful as you wanted it to be, New Years was going to be the most memorable holiday you had in a while and you couldn’t wait for it to arrive.

[joycew-art]

Someone asked what my process was to make the Rickbot comic, so I thought I'd make a separate post to show it. The process was kinda all over the place and spread over many months from December 2022 up till June 2023, so I'll try my best to make it understandable. And if you have any questions feel free to ask them!

The idea

So it all started with the idea of; What if Rickbot came back? And then the idea immediately made me think of two things;

How would Rickbot react?

Why is he brought back?

Which ended up with these two scenarios in my mind;

A. Rickbot awakens and he's not happy B. Rick tells the reason he's activated again

These were the very first scenes that started it all.

So then the question became, how do I go from point A to point B?

I would take moments from the show as reference for how they would act in these scenarios. And I'd take inspiration from manga and other comics of how I wanted the dialogue to flow and what the comic layouts would look like. In this case I knew a lot of dialogue would be involved cause these guys talk a lot! But I also didn't want the panels to feel too crowded and rushed so I limited myself to the amount of dialogue per panel.

Right now I'm writing it down like it was very planned, but for me this was often a very subconscious thing I did. I just thought up scenarios while I was taking walks or daydreaming in the shower etc. And sometimes these very specific moments would pop up that I would write down or draw out later.

I would make mini thumbnails of how I wanted the pages to go and write the dialogue next to it. At this point I'm mainly thinking of what I want characters to say and how I want the story to flow. Sometimes I make multiple versions of the same scenario to see how it flows better.

At times I even only write down dialogue and then make the thumbnails for them later. I have a tiny a6 sketchbook for little thumbnails and ideas like this. These were often moments were I didn't know where I wanted to take the comic yet, so I would separate the two to keep it more organized for myself.

As you might have noticed, not everything is the same in the final comic. I always fine-tune or change stuff up as I go. Sometimes things don't flow as well as I thought they did or some dialogue feels awkward or unnecessary.

Sketching

Once all the pages were planned and I have a good idea of how the story would go I opened a new Clip Studio Paint file and used the comic feature to set that up.

I would then copy the thumbnails I made in the page files and exported a thumbnail draft of the whole comic and 'read' through it to see how it flowed.

After I was satisfied I finally started sketching the pages.

Most of the pages stayed the same from the thumbnail, aside from some poses or expressions here and there. But I would also change up stuff I wasn't satisfied with.

For example, initially the Prime panel looked like the left one, but I didn't like how the pose flowed with the text balloons. There was a lot of empty space as well. So I decided to redo it to the one on the right.

Even now for the final version I'm thinking of resizing Rick a bit more. These kind of changes just happen throughout the process.

The backgrounds

I knew the comic would only take place in the garage, so to save myself a lot of time I decided to make it in 3d.

First I decided to sketch out the four walls of the garage as planes;

Then I imported those in Blender. I did some simple 3d modeling to get the basic shapes for the counters and the cabinet et voila! 3d sketch version of the garage!

I know this is a very watered down explanation, but trying to explain how I did it would take a whole new tutorial. And there are many other ones out there that explain it much better than I could. I was lucky that I already have some Blender experience cause of past works I've done for school and stuff.

But if you got the time to delve into it I would recommend it! For this here you only need to know the basics. Also Blender is free to download :)

This has saved me a lotttt of time drawing the same backgrounds over and over again!

Cover

Lastly I did the cover. That one has also gone through multiple versions. I had a vague idea of what I wanted, but I wasn't happy with the execution so I redrew that one as well.

So that's the whole process so far. I do I wanna continue the comic once I got the energy to work on it again. Gonna do some test pages first to see what kind of rendering I wanna go for. Not sure if'll be in black and white, color or a combo...we'll see.

I hope this helps! And if you have any questions don't be afraid to ask them.

[dreamwatch]

December Writing Stats + 2024 Round Up

November total: 9602 | Full Year: 130,699

Thank god it's over, because I was running out of colours.

Okay lets start with December. I only set myself one goal, lets refresh our memories, shall we?

So this month I'm giving myself a strict deadline: Seasons must be finished by 31st December. Why that one? Well, it should be the easiest, it was never meant to be this long and it started from an ask from the Spotify Wrapped prompt tag game, submitted by the lovely @hbyrde36. I'm not taking a prompt from 2023 into 2025, dude, that's just fucking ridiculous, this is so overdue. It's happening this month!!

Anyone want to guess how that turned out? So anyway, I'll be taking Seasons into 2025 with me...

But! I got stuck into FOBD. I added another 5k to that and the first draft of the first chapter is very nearly done!

This month I wrote over 3k for a Corroded Coffin event that had a 2k word limit... those who know me know this is SOP. 😆 So I'll be posting it outside the event once it's finished... shut up, it grew legs!

I also wrote my first Holiday Drabbles! Didn't make the deadlines, but I still wrote them. 😁

Merry Christmas, Tommy Hagan (1000)

Together, Always (1000)

2024 Review

Thank you to @hbyrde36 for tagging me! 💗

In 2024 I completed and posted 40 fics!!

The vast majority are short one shots so I won't list them all below, but here's the three longest:

You're The One I've Waited For (12,051)

Come Alive (6988)

California I'm Coming Home (3247) Technically, this was written in 2023 but edited and posted to AO3 in 2024.

Out of those 40 fics, 34 were written for Corroded Coffin Fest events!

In 2025 I'd like to complete:

Fell On Black Days (long)

Like A Stone (long)

Seasons (medium)

Eddie Gets Vecna-d (short)

My Steddie Bingo card!

In 2025 I'd like to start:

I mean... I really shouldn't be starting anything, given there's like 150k words of unpublished fics to be done. That being said...

Vietnam War AU

... but it's difficult because of the amount of research to be done, and I'm already up to my eyeballs in the American Prison System so something needs to get finished first. And yes, it's Steddie! It's all Steddie, all the time.

Phew, what a year!! Thanks to all my lovely fandom friends who have brought me so much happiness with our shared love of Hawkins biggest fucking idiots. Some of you are moving on to new fandoms, and I thank you for all your beautiful writing - our loss is another fandoms game. Me? I'm going nowhere. Steddie4life. 🤘🏻

[vacantgodling]

2024 Recap Game!

thanks for tagging me @magic-is-something-we-create !! i also did an in depth version of my year back in november (bc december can suck my dick) which you can find here -> boop!

so i will summarize & do some big braining bc even though i said in that post i don't really have hard goals (which i still don't) for 2025, i can give off more vague vibes of what i kinda have in mind perhaps.

2024 Accomplishments!

finished my yeehan fic cage. technically it started in 2023, but i finished the 20th and final chapter in feb 2024, clocking in at 82,288 words total. which is actually the most words i've ever written for one continuous project. so lots of wins.

started conlanging for a wip that has fully expanded paramour's universe, the related but also completely separate wip he who smites the sun. and connected that entire universe and multiple wips all in one timeline in one continent of a world which is super cool.

finished the first draft of my current brain rot wip betwixt thumb and forefinger. which, is essentially wuthering heights x twilight, the wip lmao.

2025 (Writing) Goals!

finish btaf's 2nd draft -- currently i'm 22k-ish words deep and its been fun working on it so i hope i finish it this year

work on dzonime'si more (the conlang in he who smites the sun) and potentially develop a few more for several regions in this world, mainly eyeing 2nd century galarian because it does get mentioned in paramour as something hya can't read bc its so old so i'm kinda curious about it.

get back into mapmaking, i'd love to have an actual decent map of the continent that all those wips take place on

continue to do things because they interest me and they're fun and try not to worry so much about interacting with others. obvs interacting with people is GREAT but at the same time, i don't want to stop myself from doing things because i feel like people won't care or i don't have anyone to talk to about it.

i'll poke a few people if they want to do this (but consider this an open tag in general) -> @multi-lefaiye, @void-botanist, @kudzucataclysm, @sarahlizziewrites, @galactic-mystics-writes :)

[eskawrites]

3, 6, 12 for the ao3 wrapped also happy new year <33

happy new year friend!!

3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

what if i said the elden ring au i mean i think it has to be the cfdau nancy pov (even though i technically wrote and started posting that in 2023) because my god that fic was such a beast to wrangle, and i was so nervous about it every step of the way, but i love it so much and i love that version of nancy with all my heart <3 (and also writing that fic led to so many other cfdau ideas and helped me set the foundation of who they'll be post-december 1997, which may or may not come up in future writing, so yes i'm very proud of it all lol)

6. Favorite title you used

degenerate stars (you're in deep) for the lethal company au! although i sort of wish I'd left it at just 'degenerate stars,' but i do like the reference to the 'you're in deep' note from the actual game

(runner up is 'warm my bones and fill my glass' because both the song that's taken from and those specific lyrics fits that fic so well i think)

12. How many WIP’s do you have in your docs for next year?

technicallyyyy there are 13 wips (if you count all the different ideas for thriving in the apocalypse as one wip because that's all in one document). but as for fics i actually think i might write this year? there's about 4 or 5 (the charmed au and some cfdau stuff and a couple random one-shots)

and for thriving in the apocalypse, because that really is its own beast, there are about....8 things i want to write? including the damn robin and nancy get together fic that has been in my drafts for over two years now

ask me ao3 wrapped questions!

[dearfuturehusbandblog]

God Is An A****** And Other Life Updates

Dear Future Husband,

2024 was supposed to be my "year of health." Or at least, that's what I decided towards the end of 2023 when everything I ate was upsetting my digestive system and I was convinced I had developed some weird tumor or something. But suddenly, out of the blue, I had health insurance (I don't think I've told that story yet....) and so it seemed like 2024 would be the year I could just get myself in order.

Well, it's now December 2024 and I can confidently tell you the lie detector determined THAT was a lie.

Not only was it not my year of health, it has in fact been quite the opposite.

At this point I don't know if I'll ever get back to that draft about the beginning of this year, so I'll just tell you - in January I had a bad fall and broke my arm, which led to surgery, PT, and essentially three months of being unable to work.

Which leads me to include that 2024 was also supposed to be my year of financial stability.

Oh, if you could hear the raucous laughter in my mind right now.

Why did I ever assume Hashem would finally grant me one good year? The entirety of my relationship with Him is built on the confidence that I'm his punching bag.

Why do I even still allow myself hope? It always just ends in heartbreak.

So January I injured myself.

February I had surgery.

March I had PT.

April I finally started driving again, and I was back at work but still couldn't do heavy lifting which severely crippled my abilities to do my job.

Now, back in January, a few days before I fell and maimed myself, I got a speeding ticket from a highway speed camera that was outside of a work zone but claimed to be in a work zone. I was just trying to keep up with traffic and I have no idea how nobody else got ticketed. Maybe cuz they weren't in the lane closest to the camera.

Well, I alerted MotherLivelyHeart to the ticket before it even arrived in the mail because I'd seen the flash when I was driving, and had full intentions of paying it.

But then I was out of work for like three months and all the funds I'd had up until that point dwindled while paying bills so that when the ticket came in the mail, I couldn't afford the $30.

Based on our conversation about it, I was under the impression MotherLivelyHeart was going to cover it, since the car is in her name (I think I've discussed this nonsense), and I'd pay her back when I was working again.

But come MAY and it's still not paid and now they've increased the fine.

Great.

So since I was working again, I paid all $42 of it.

And now it's December. And it's been SEVEN MONTHS.

SEVEN MONTHS where we've had radio silence, as far as I'm aware.

And NOW, SEVEN MONTHS LATER, they've sent us a message in the mail that the car has been flagged because of the citation in January/May and with the flags on the car we can't renew the license plate or something.

WTF.

Oh, but wait, the story gets better, because of course it gets better.

I discussed briefly in my last post that I was going away for a month and a half this summer. I can't go into the details of why I went away, but what was supposed to be 6 weeks ended up being 12 weeks.

That's 12 weeks of bliss away from MotherLivelyHeart but also 12 weeks of not working.

So in total this year, I've worked approximately 26 weeks. At part time wages. For a business that my boss can't decide if she wants to keep open much longer, so inventory is dwindling and business sucks because we never have anything in stock.

FML.

I've been working for this company for about 8 years as a 1099 employee, except a 1099 is not an employee, it's an independent contractor... but I'm an employee. And basically the only employee. Which I just found out makes my 1099 filing essentially illegal, since there are some benefits that employees are supposed to have which is why it's a different filing of w2.

FML.

But getting back to the whole "I basically work full time in a part time job position" thing... I didn't make a lot in 2023. And with bills to pay, I didn't have a lot in January to begin with, but with my January wages I should have had enough to pay my taxes.

Except that in January, the beginning of my new year of financial stability, Hashem caused me not just an injury but a work-stopping injury. Which means I not only had to stop working while still paying bills, but the money that I had originally allotted for my taxes was not only not there, but also not enough.

So FMFL.

But wait, it gets better.

I created an account with the IRS's payment portal (id.me or whatever) several years ago and I signed up using my home phone number.

Well, BigSis was the one who paid the bill for the phone line and at some point she stopped paying it, which meant that when I tried to log into my IRS account to see what my options were or try to make a partial payment, it wouldn't accept my information because I couldn't confirm my phone number because I no longer had access to it.

Great.

So I tried to do the other things it wanted with photos of my state license and passport and it stuck me in a loop and wouldn't accept either of them.

GREAT.

So there I was, injured, in pain, not working, not able to keep most foods down, my tiny allotted funds dwindling, and not able to log into my IRS account to figure out what to do.

So yeah, it ended up getting back-burnered.

I know it's stupid. I knew it was stupid then and I know it's stupid now.

Especially because last year I made barely $11k at that job and the IRS wants $1,100 of that. Which is to say, they want more from me than I made in a single month.

FML.

I kept getting these update letters in the mail of the IRS adding on interest and increasing the amount, and I somehow hoped that Hashem would show me the way to be able to afford to pay it.

But no.

Because FMFL.

So now I've been notified by the IRS that they want to seize my property.

Over $1100.

But also, what property? I have nothing.

Literally not even the car I drive is in my own name.

So, just to recap:

I've worked approximately 26 weeks this year (part time financially, full time stressfully)

I now owe $1200 to the IRS that I don't have, and that's just for the 2023 taxes, not even including what I'll owe for this year

The car may not be able to be renewed because of the flag for the speeding ticket I got in January that I already paid off and that I've heard NOTHING about for SEVEN MONTHS

Should we keep going? Sure, let's keep going.

SPIRITUALITY

After a nightmare of a year, I can't really explain why but I had some kind of spiritual awakening at the beginning of 5785. I davened more this past R"H and Y"K than I have the past like 10 or 15 years combined, including during the Aseres Yimei Teshuva and through Simchas Torah.

And I decided this would be my year of Bitachon.

I was riding a spiritual high and I had more calm and positivity for about a month than I've had in a long time.

Spoiler alert: that's gone.

One of the things that affected that deeply was that I had one sefer in particular I decided would be my guide this year for all things Bitachon. And less than a month after deciding that, the author of that sefer was diagnosed with Stage-4 Non-Smoker's Lung Cancer.

Do I feel like my personal bad mazal rubbed off on him by mere association? 100000000000000%

WORK

Because things have been weird at work and I'm not sure how much longer my boss will be keeping the business open, I starting looking for a new job.

Using my new found bitachon, I discovered two businesses in my neighborhood that were hiring for a position I could do in my sleep, and were willing to pay well were open.

Such mazal! Hashem must be working His magic!

I had a phone meeting with the first company that was excited to have me in for an interview. We arranged a date and time, and then that day a few hours before I got a text that something came up and they'd like to reschedule.

That was.... a month and ten days ago and I've heard nothing.

The second company called me for an in-person interview which I went to erev Shabbos and thought it went really well. They said they were hoping to hire before Chanukah and they'd be in touch.

That was.... a month and nine days ago and I've heard nothing.

Now, for the second company that could have been my bad. It's been so long since I've had an interview that I forgot the etiquette to send a thank you note afterwards. I also answered the question "what do people critique you the most for" honestly by saying time management. Though I'd think that showing up 10 minutes early to the interview itself would have been enough to assuage that concern. I also did explain that it's something I'm working on and the rest of the conversation seemed to go really positively so I guess it's just Hashem giving me hope again just so He can pull the rug out from under me. Again.

MEDICAL

I started writing about this in its own post and still might but let me just go over the highlights here:

I haven't had insurance for like 5 years.

When I signed up for the insurance originally I selected a DO for my Primary Care Physician because I want a doctor who will treat the whole person and understand how different aspects of the body interplay with each other when it comes to diagnosis.

Well, fast forward to me suddenly having insurance for the first time out of the blue motzei yom kippur (if that wasn't a bad omen....), the DO I selected five years ago is no longer accepting new patients.

Fine. I'll look into new doctors. Whatever.

Except, no! Because then I broke my arm.

And did you know that before surgery you need a workup done by your PCP?

And did you know that if the doctor listed on your insurance isn't accepting new patients, you have to run around like a nut last minute to find someone who will do a workup so you can get emergency surgery?

In the end I went with a local urgent care that could handle that kind of thing.

Fun.

And when I was finally clearheaded enough after the surgery (which took over a month, mind you) I scheduled a new patient appointment with the other DO in the same practice as the first one I'd chosen (five years ago). She was booked out until October.

Fun.

So, fine, I scheduled for October.

Then I went away for the summer and in September I got a voicemail from the doctor's office that the doctor would be leaving the practice at the end of October and did I still want a new patient appointment with someone I wouldn't be able to see past that month?

Mygod.

I went back and forth with the staff of this place several times before we decided I'd go with the new patient appointment anyway to at least get preliminary stuff out of the way and start a series of blood tests to try and figure out what the hell is wrong with me physically.

I had one appointment with her, got bloodwork done, and October was over.

My files were switched to another doctor in the practice who could read the results of the blood tests and order more if needed. Which she did.

And all the results have come back inconclusive.

Because getting an actual answer is just too much to ask for, I guess.

Oh, and also the doctor I'm working with now is about to go on maternity leave and once she comes back she'll be working from a new location that's almost an hour from where I live.

FML

And that's not even everything. That's just what I have the energy to write right now.

I'm so tired of this life.

I'm tired of having hope and being let down constantly.

I'm tired of financial stuff being the literal bane of my existence.

I'm tired of being tired.

I'm so over this life that my brain has just stopped recording information.

One of the things the doctor set me up with in October was a collaborative care thing associated with the medical practice that's supposed to help get me on a good path mentally, so I've been working with a therapist, but we've met maybe 4 times and I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be getting out of these sessions other than explaining to her how my circumstances just absolutely suck over and over again in more detail.

Except that every week or two weeks she asks me how I've been since our last session and I literally can't remember what I've done or how I've felt.

I'm just so over all of this nonsense.

I keep doing things to try to give myself purpose in this world, like what I was doing over the summer, or reconnecting with this high school friend that I've been spending time with on the weekends lately, or helping out old acquaintances who just had babies, but all I feel like I'm doing is creating a larger pool of people to mourn for me when I'm gone because none of them know the real me.

I'm not suicidal but I do just wish I'd die already.

I don't see the purpose in any of this life.

I'm stressed beyond stress and Hashem isn't helping.

I feel like I've been set up for failure and if failure is my goal, then I'm the most successful failure that's ever existed.

I'm still broke.

I don't know if I'll have a job in a few weeks.

The IRS wants to seize my nonexistent property.

I may not have a car to drive soon.

Nobody knows what's wrong with me medically.

Every goddamn tap in my apartment has issues (literally my shower, toilet, bathroom sink, and kitchen sink all have problems).

My ceiling is still open to the elements. (yep, that's still a thing)

Oh, and I lost 40lbs this year between January and June, and gained basically all of that back since September.

FMFL.

Can it just be over already?

Sorry, I'm not in a good place right now, my dear future husband.

I mean, you're a fantasy anyway, so who even cares.

-LivelyHeart

Every day in harachaman in bensching we say

"וְאַל תַּצְרִיכֵנוּ ה' אֱלֹקֵינוּ לֹא לִידֵי מַתְּנַת בָּשָׂר וָדָם וְלֹא לִידֵי הַלְוָאַתָם, כִּי אִם לְיָדְךָ הַמְּלֵאָה הַפְּתוּחָה הַקְּדוֹשָׁה וְהָרְחָבָה".

"Do not make us dependent, Hashem our God, on the gifts of flesh and blood or on their loans, but only on Your full, open, holy, and generous hand."

And yet... Hashem has not provided for me, despite my begging and pleading. Despite my davening and working really hard on bensching after every meal.

We also say "פּוֹתֵחַ אֶת יָדֶךָ וּמַשְׂבִּיעַ לְכָל חַי רָצוֹן" both in bensching and in davening - "You open Your hand and satisfy the desire of every living being."

And yet, my desire is to not be in debt with the threat of losing things. But somehow, here I am, and where is God?

So maybe random strangers are the tools of Hashem, and relying on you all is really me relying on Hashem "working in mysterious ways" or whatever.

I don't know, but if you care and have anything to share, I have a cashapp: $HaShemshouldblessyou

[limerental]

limerental's fic writing reflection 2024

this year i posted a total of 128,831 words on ao3 in 41 total fics. the fandom tag I used most frequently was The Witcher (Video Game) with 22 total fics, the ship i wrote the most was Isengrim/Dijkstra with 5 total fics, and the character I wrote the most was Vernon Roche with 13 tagged fics.

lmao. How did this happen to me? for real

fic by fic reflection under the cut

i started off the year (literally posting the first chapter December 31st 2023) with parallel lines, a reynard odo/vernon roche 5+1 featuring book and game canon blending, lots of political intrigue interspersed with pwp, and excessive character studies. i'm really fond of how this one turned out, especially the +1 outsider pov chapter, and i'll always like this very niche rarepair.

in january i finally finished a playthrough of tw3 and wrote sanctuary, a keira/lambert ficlet as a love letter to the unparalleled snark and banter and horniness between those characters.

mid-february, i started working on chained, a iorveth/roche slave caravan forced proximity handcuffed together canon divergent fic which is frankly one of the most immediate fic i've ever written and therefore also the most i've ever written about bodily functions (this is saying a lot as someone with a piss kink). what a wonderful endorsement for that fic!

after finishing chained in mid-march, i immediately started putting roche in more situations with homesick (letho/roche), punishment (dijkstra/roche), and curiosity (isengrim/roche). i won't say they're my favorite little fics of the year, but they were satisfying enough to write.

i then suffered a fascinating diversion into being briefly possessed by ghostsoap of the call of duty shoot and kill people in the head video game and so wrote try to wake up which was about uh... shooting in killed people's uh... in their.... um.

i took most of may off for my sanity (in my real person life, i work in horticulture managing retail greenhouse production. may is a blur) and toward the end of the month started (spite)-writing my ciri/everyone fic carry what i need to carry. it ended up being lots of fun and also my longest fic of the year. the ships and characters list on this one is truly intimidating to look at, but i'm really pleased with how I managed to deal with and depict ciri's sexual trauma, especially that side of things was so fully neglected in other adaptations.

in late july, i started replaying tw2 and write come back to me in a blur which is a yenralt canon divergence fic where yen came to flotsam instead of sile.

in august, i started on claimed, the iorveth pov sequel to chained which was essentially a prolonged roche whump sickfic with a side of iorveth shaking his fists at trees. i like this one nearly as much as the first installment, probably because of the excessive amount of banter.

my second non-witcher diversion of the year was a deadpool & wolverine fic, we deserve a soft epilogue, and the metacomedy of it all was deeply deeply fun to write. side note as a big enjoyer of the first deadpool movie, it's an actual crime that vanessa is written out so often haha hehe

and that was it! i spent october drafting ideas for my ficletvember 2024 where i wrote a fic a day for all of november, ending up with 28k. this year it was a pretty eclectic mix of twn and game and book canon.

overall i feel like though i wrote less than previous years, the stuff i did put out had more substance to them and were better written. i never could have written that ciri fic or claimed or even parallel lines in 2020. for one, no one could have predicted the absurd niche canon deep dive i've fallen into the past year. me?? writing more games canon than anything else?? it's truly whacky goofy. i wouldn't change any of it or the supportive crevices i've crawled into this past year.

[vidreview]

some thoughts on Action Button Reviews

[originally posted december 22nd 2023]

ANONYMOUS ASK: Not a recommendation because I know you've already seen it, but I remember you (this being like a year ago) calling Tim Rogers' action button reviews boku no natsuyasami something along the lines of "a triumphant demonstration of what's possible in the video essay medium". I was wondering if you could elaborate, provided it hasn't been too long. I recognise I'm blasting you from the past here lol. It was one of the few hours-long video essays that I didn't mind sitting through, though I'm still not sure it quite justifies its length. Tim's delivery helps significantly there, in a way that reminds me of Caleb Gamman's casual/improvised-feeling but thoroughly scripted shtick.

oh i still think Tim Rogers is hands down the best in the biz. i've watched the Action Button reviews multiple times, i've got a davinci resolve project with all his videos in, studied them under a microscope and taken lots of notes. i think his work absolutely does justify the length, because rather than trying to say Everything There Is To Say about a game, he instead focuses on digging into the game's relationship with his own hyperspecific subjectivity. i don't know how else to describe the Action Button reviews except as literary media criticism, using incredibly in-depth analysis as a jumping off point for discussing how these games shape us and the culture, the role they occupy at various stages of our life, and how who we are at any given moment is just as important to our opinion of a game as the game itself. sooner or later i want to do a full-on VIDREV on his stuff, probably in video essay form, but consider this a first draft overview of why i find his work so special.

there's little things. despite the length of his videos, he never fails to get to The Point (his term for the thesis statement) within five minutes of starting the essay proper. he is a talented and quick-witted tour guide, funny and clever and philosophically ponderous all at once. his work is clearly designed to reward multiple viewings, yet never fails to feel complete on a first watch. he writes with a precision of language that'll knock your socks off if you let it, especially if you're willing to go with him on his seemingly non sequitur tangents. but it goes a lot deeper than that.

i just don't think anyone else is putting nearly as much time, effort, and thought into the moment to moment particulate matter of his video essays than Tim Rogers. there are a ton of little mistakes that quite a few essayists make as a result of only doing one or two complete editing passes, or otherwise not sitting down and watching their video start to finish at multiple points in post-production. things like bad audio mixing, cut-off breaths and sounds that ought to be removed, stray frames from footage creating accidental jump cuts, flubbed line deliveries, misaligned overlay elements, sloppy compositing, the list goes on. it's no great sin to make these mistakes, mind-- no one's being commissioned, most essayists aren't professional editors, there's no quality control or review board or institutional best practices. it's the difference between giving the kitchen a quick once over with a rag and getting on your hands and knees to scrub every stain with a toothbrush. most people don't have the time it takes to do the latter, aren't getting paid enough, and the returns on putting the effort in are impossible to measure and therefore, practically speaking, nonexistent.

but as someone who tries to put that kind of work in (not always successfully), i can always tell when another essayist has done the same. longform video essays in aggregate tend to be messy, under-structured, rambling; they often arise out of an essayist's desire to say everything they could possibly say on a subject. not only is this an impossible task, it makes for a pretty dull viewing experience to boot. what i find so impressive about Tim Rogers' work is that despite their length, his videos are relentlessly structured. the attention to fine details in the moment-to-moment edit across the whole runtime is astonishing; that the script itself is so internally integrated never fails to make me furious (with professional envy). he always has a lot to say, not all of which is strictly speaking essential to the analysis, but nothing ever feels so indulgent that it drags the rest of the essay down in my estimation. he often repeats information, but he does so very strategically and in a way that's meant to help the viewer follow a thread from start to finish. i also think his presentation style goes a long way towards hiding how much effort he puts in, how relentlessly curated these things actually are in spite of their length. he's talked extensively about how much he cuts from these videos (most prominently is story 5 from the Cyberpunk 2077 review, which went from over an hour in length at first draft to, eventually, just over a minute), how he watches them back over and over and constantly makes fine adjustments. that work won't be apparent to everyone watching, but it's exceedingly apparent to me.

and then there's the cherry on top of it all, which is the fact that the Action Button reviews are constructed as being part of "seasons" that have a planned thematic throughline. taken as a whole, season 1 is a completely unique work of literary metacritical nonfiction, a series of six reviews (Final Fantasy VII Remake -> The Last of Us -> DOOM -> Pac-Man -> Tokimeki Memorial -> Cyberpunk 2077) that use specific games to talk about trends in game design, trends in gamer culture, the history of games development, all through an astonishingly earnest and open autobiographical document of Tim Rogers' own professional and personal life, which is given particular weight by his astonishing capacity for near perfect recall from early childhood. they are the clear result of a life spent thinking about and writing about and talking about games in between all the rest of his life, neither of which was ever truly separate. i know i'm throwing around a lot of superlatives here, but i really do adore these essays. i think a lot of folks doing longform games reviews try to achieve a sort of technical objectivity, limiting the scope of their analysis to strictly what's in the game (and often only that which involves numbers, leaving any narrative or thematic components to a brief aside at the very end). the Action Button method should fall into that category, and yet Rogers himself uses its technical objectivity as an anchor around which flows an endless and unquantifiable ocean of subjectivity, where game mechanics and thematic elements mix forever. each subsequent review drops a new anchor, and thus begins to compose a map whose purpose is as much a matter of self-reflection as it is pure education or analysis.

but i really do think it's with the first (and so far only) episode of season 2, his review of Boku no Natsuyasumi, that you can really see the cunning of what he's been up to all along. i often find myself thinking about his reflections on returning to Kansas ("it took me back to a place i had never never been"), on why people rewatch movies and replay games ("our memory only records the cold parts"), on the futility of trying to recapture the past ("places don't remember us"), on the screaming terror of our own looming mortality ("meanwhile our shattering animals"). i just know those quotes off the top of my head, man, that's how deep in it i am. the Boku no Natsuyasumi review is a masterpiece, and the ways it breaks from the style and approach of season 1's reviews only strengthens the choices he made in season 1, because suddenly we realize that they were choices. that's the artfulness of this series, in my opinion: it starts as, seemingly, a relatively bog-standard "i'm going to review some video games and make some jokes and tell some stories along the way" type joint, but slowly reveals to you essay by essay just how little of this project was automatic, unconsidered, arbitrary, and that its aims were never so miniscule as "tell you why a video game is good". there are themes running throughout the entire series, repeated phrases and ideas, theories of mind and play that build in the subtext, accruing like memories, subtly building mass until you look back and realize that what seemed like a random selection of topics was, in truth, premeditated with a conspiracist's attention to detail.

and yet despite all this high-minded gobbledygook, these videos are relentlessly watchable and entertaining. i don't always agree with his takes (i was particularly frustrated that his exploration of "every cyberpunk game" omitted the flood of relevant titles that came the indie sphere over the last decade, like Cloudpunk and Read Only Memories), but they're not the kinds of disagreements that would make me sour on his work overall, and anyway the experience is so much more valuable than something as rote and immaterial as an opinion. there's so much more i could say (and inevitably will say, someday), but there you go, that's a rough gloss on what i like about the Action Button reviews.

[earthstellar]

Image Comics has dropped their solicits for December 2023, and it looks like Duke #1 is where the Transformers/GI Joe crossover is gonna start really kicking off for the Energon Universe.

I know the general reception to the crossover at the end of ROTB was pretty rough, so it's interesting that they're getting the ball rolling in a GI Joe mini-series.

Personally, my dad was drafted into two wars against his will and suffered greatly for it, so I never had any interest in GI Joe because my dad vehemently hated that shit, as he felt it glorified war to children and that this is morally unacceptable. (He preferred the depiction of Army life of that era in MASH, which he said was at least more honest and aimed at adults.)

I also had classmates who ended up joining the military who had been big fans of GI Joe, two of whom were killed in Afghanistan. I know GI Joe wasn't the only factor involved in their decisions, but it certainly does not make me inclined to like the franchise.

My mother lost her first husband in Vietnam. He had also been drafted against his will. (I strongly dislike the GI Joe Vietnam era material in particular, for perhaps obvious reasons.)

So, I admit my general dislike of the concept of GI Joe as a franchise is at least partly based in my own trauma (and that of my family) relating to the US Army.

I've never been a GI Joe person and never will be (on moral and trauma based grounds), so I fully admit I am not well versed on the lore of that universe, and as such, it's hard for me to make any guesses at what Duke #1 might bring.

But what interests me is that on certain forums and other social media, I've seen very limited audience hype about this crossover in general, especially from the Transformers crowd.

After the extremely progressive writing and fresh visual style and designs of the IDW Transformers storylines which appealed to a lot of people across several age ranges and generations of fans, it feels weird (to me at least) to suddenly have a more old school style crossover with what is essentially a US military propaganda franchise-- At a time when the sociopolitical zeitgeist is that "going traditional" is often associated with "going backwards".

All art is political, and so on.

But I do wonder if what seems to be a lack of audience hype is partially due to the fact that not a lot of Transformers fans (at least, not many under the age of 40 based on what I'm seeing around the internet at the moment) seem to be all that into GI Joe.

A lot of young people are not exactly in love with US military fantasies, and the last Transformers comic series with IDW was a big hit with younger/teen readers-- A lot of that audience might be lost, here.

(And vice-versa from what I can tell, although I'm not in any GI Joe fan spaces so I'm not sure what the mood might be in that community in regards to the Transformers element of this crossover.)

All that having been said, the Energon Universe is only just getting started, and who knows what the comics will actually contain!

I do like G1, so I like the designs for the Transformers as drawn in this run this far.

And who knows, maybe they'll do something new with GI Joe for this. I'm aware that in at least one of the cartoons, they were essentially on the run from the military instead of working for it, which is an interesting twist. Perhaps something similar might happen here, with some Joes siding with the Autobots instead?

It's not fair to judge before a comic is even released, so I'm just thinking out loud here in regards to the crossover concept in general.

I'd be interested to hear what anyone else thinks:

Will you be checking out Duke #1 as a Transformers fan interested in the crossover?

Have any of you been interested in GI Joe previously?

If you're an IDW Transformers fan, are you interested in the Energon Universe?

Any other thoughts on the crossover, any conjecture or hopes for the direction of this run?

I want to give the Energon Universe a chance, but as I mentioned, I do have some difficulty attempting to get into GI Joe in general.

That having been said, I guess we'll have to wait and see what they do with this crossover.

[arlertdarling]

tldr: i’m cancelling my follower event and moving blogs to @junovie. i’m officially back from my ‘break’ but i can’t promise i’ll be frequently active (at least not as much as i used to be), much less that i’ll be writing/posting new works regularly.

i look forward to catching up with you all !! thank you for your support and understanding <3

full original post under the cut

hello!

you may or may not have noticed that i’ve been quite inactive for the last few months or so.

i’m sorry to everyone who has reached out to me in that time — i’m not ignoring you, i’ve just been logged out of this account and staying away from tumblr in general. i plan on getting back to you all privately and individually, but if you could read this post, just so you have an idea of what’s going on, i would really appreciate it! :)

anyway, i have two announcements to make regarding my blog — not bad, but definitely important changes! i’ve been meaning to make them for a while, but only just found the time and courage to go through with them.

there’s also a more in-depth (albeit rambly) explanation to why and where i’ve been gone after the announcements. it’s a little long, so there’s no pressure to read it all if you don’t want to.

my first announcement is that i’m cancelling my 100+ follower event.

...but you probably all saw that one coming lol

i absolutely intended to complete all the requests regardless of how long it took, but it’s been over 7 months now and i no longer see myself ever getting around to them at this point. i feel awful about it, especially because i was so excited about the event and milestone itself, but i just don’t have the motivation to write the rest anymore.

to be transparent, the main thing that affected and eventually halted my work flow entirely is this weird subconscious self-disciplinary rule i had where i was ‘not allowed’ to write anything until i’d finished my old projects. this isn’t an actual rule obviously, but it prevented me from writing new ideas or enjoying writing on this blog/for tumblr as a whole for months. every time i got inspired to write something, i’d remember that i have these obligatory requests to complete first, that it would be selfish and unfair to ‘ignore’ or not prioritise them, that people will be mad at me for not doing so etc, etc.

i’ve luckily stopped thinking this way now, but that’s why i’ve made this decision. i should write for myself and my enjoyment, first and foremost. it shouldn’t be an obligation. it’s not a commission or contractual assignment, it’s a silly online milestone event that i made and can just as easily discontinue should i want to — so that’s what i’ve chosen to do.

thank you to everyone who participated and/or supported the event, it means a lot to me still, and i’m sorry to those whose requests i didn’t manage to write. even with how much time has passed, i still feel shame and embarrassment about how this all turned out, so your acceptance and understanding would be really appreciated.

my next announcement is that i’m moving blogs.

i’m moving to a new account where i have an interaction/personal main blog (@junovie) and my current nsfw writing sideblog. i might make a new sfw one for my other writing shenanigans, but i haven’t made up my mind about that one yet.

it’s nothing serious, i mostly just want a fresh start. this blog has gotten disorganised and messy, and while some people don’t mind or even like it that way, personally i need structure and organisation in order to stay sane, so my plan is to move to a new blog. as for this blog — i might delete it permanently in the future, but for now, i just intend to archive it.

with the announcements out of the way, i just have a few more things i want to talk about.

i’m currently writing this part of the post in march of 2024, but i’ve been considering these changes since around december of 2023, and started drafting this post in january.

in that time, i’ve been mostly logged out of this account (aside from when i would come to add to this post) and keeping tumblr at arm’s length in general for... no reason in particular really? i know many people have had at least one bad experience or two during their time on tumblr, which may have led to them needing a break, but i’ve honestly been lucky enough to never have encountered anything severe personally.

for the most part, i’ve just been focused on my education. i’m at a stage in my life where i have important decisions to be making, paths and passions i want to be pursuing, responsibilities i need to be taking care of... and in comparison, my time for writing on tumblr has dwindled.

on the other hand, this ‘break’ of sorts, away from tumblr, has helped me realise just how much of my time i had been spending on what is really just another silly little social media app on my silly little phone. that’s not to say the people i’ve met and the feelings i’ve experienced aren’t good, valuable or a part of my life, or that the support i’ve received and joy i’ve shared don’t have worth in the bigger picture, because they are, they do, and i’m grateful for them all!! but in retrospect, there were, and are, more important things in my life that require my time, energy and attention [over writing] and that i should have been prioritising sooner. that’s on me for getting essentially addicted and becoming neglectful, and that’s why i needed to step back like i have.

in some ways, i feel a little guilty, because i feel like, i don’t know... like my sudden ‘hiatus’ should have been as a result of some big, crazy life event, or depression or something. and it kind of was [the latter], at the start, but the truth is it’s the opposite now? like, i’ve just been happier these days... but i don’t think it has anything to do with my break from tumblr, at least not in the sense that it makes me unhappy, or the absence of it improves my mental health or whatever. just in the sense that the time i would have spent scrolling or writing, i’ve now been spending doing other hobbies that make me happy, making connections with real life people, reflecting on and learning to love life and myself. i’m far from being where i want to be and i’m definitely still figuring things out, but i feel like i’m better at dividing my time now, and more capable of being on tumblr without it consuming my life force and every waking thought.

so, i’m going to come back, but i’m making no promises that i’ll be frequently active (at least not as much as i used to be), much less that i’ll be writing/posting new works regularly, especially not requests. i’m here just to have fun, be silly, bond with people over stories and fictional characters — and whatever else i may want in the future — but i never want it to feel like a chore or burden again.

even though i feel bad for basically ghosting everyone in my inbox and being inexplicably MIA for like, 3 months, i don’t regret taking this break. i just hope everyone will understand and respect my decisions and the changes to come.

friends/mutuals are welcome to message me if you’re curious about details or concerned or whatever else, but i’ve probably said enough here to answer any questions lol. i look forward to coming back and catching up with you all.

see you guys soon <3