#i started like 3-4 hours ago

[tiredflowercrown]

for myrddin

alone: How does your OC deal with loneliness? Have they ever been completely alone before? How do they act when there's no one around to see them?

break: What would cause your OC to break down completely? What do they look like when that happens? Has anyone ever seen them at their lowest?

future: What's the worst possible future for your OC? Are they taking steps to avoid that outcome? Are they even aware it's a possibility?

heartbreak: Have they ever had a relationship that ended badly? Experienced some other kind of heartbreak? What happened?

midnight: What keeps your OC up at night? Do they have nightmares? Fears? Anxieties? What do they do in the small hours of the morning when they should be sleeping?

pain: What's the worst pain your OC has ever felt? Do they have a high pain tolerance?

Oooh, we love Myrddin

alone: How does your OC deal with loneliness? Have they ever been completely alone before? How do they act when there's no one around to see them?

Loneliness is almost a constant and yet a distant memory at the same time. Myr doesn't often feel lonely, Magnus is an almost constant companion, his other half never far, but there have been times when they hide to hide separately. Times where their grandmother had come looking. It had been one of the most terrifying moments in his life. If Myr is alone, if he lets everything drop, he's just exhausted. He's had to fight to survive, to live, to even move. Magnus knows so much, but Myr doesn't want him to know just how bad it is.

break: What would cause your OC to break down completely? What do they look like when that happens? Has anyone ever seen them at their lowest?

Either of his brothers dying. Magnus, more so considering that they are twins, but if either Magnus or Mars dies, there is nothing he wouldn't do. Nothing he wouldn't raze to the ground, no one he wouldn't hurt-torture-kill.

His lowest that anyone has ever seen, that has happen yet, has only been seen by Magnus and his Father. It was after Mars finally got out, when he was in a coma in the Golden Escape. It wasn't pretty.

future: What's the worst possible future for your OC? Are they taking steps to avoid that outcome? Are they even aware it's a possibility?

The worst possible would be his family dead and the board being leveled. Not the whole family, not all the Mims, but his brothers? His mom? Dad? They mean the world to Myr.

As for taking steps? There is no magic on the Isle, well no magic that people can actively use. However, Runes aren't inherently magical. And they soak up residual magic so beautifully. Despite what others think, the Board is one of the most protected and fortified entities on the Isle. And it's entirely due to Myrddin's (well-placed) paranoia.

heartbreak: Have they ever had a relationship that ended badly? Experienced some other kind of heartbreak? What happened?

No. Most of the Isle doesn't know Myrddin exists nevertheless is alive. He hasn't had a chance to have a heart break.

midnight: What keeps your OC up at night? Do they have nightmares? Fears? Anxieties? What do they do in the small hours of the morning when they should be sleeping?

Physically? Pain. Lots of pain. Mentally? So many nightmares. Fear for his family, of his grandmother. What he does depends on where he is. If he's with his dad, they just talk, sometimes about magic, runes, what they can and can't do on the Isle or about nothing at all. If he's with the Board, he will find Magnus and just sit with him, maybe read if he can, but just being near helps him so much.

pain: What's the worst pain your OC has ever felt? Do they have a high pain tolerance?

Magnus's exit from Madam Mim wasn't quiet or peaceful, he nearly died. He did die actually. Myrddin felt part of his soul rip from his body when that happened. He doesn't remember exactly what happened but from what others say happened, what they heard, what he did? It wasn't pretty, he might not remember the event, but he remembers the pain.

Myrddin has an incredible pain tolerance, it comes from all the chronic pain

[pachirobi]

Agent 12 but something looks a little bit weird

eh. must be my imagination

Happy yurimas, everybody [4/3]

[0509-brainrot]

...

.....eepy....

[gideonisms]

.....realized I would literally rather work 12 hours a day and come home to complete silence where my space is exactly the way I like it and I don't have to continue to mask my reactions than have to work all day then come back to a roommate. wish I'd had this realization 2 months ago. I've been crying about how much I don't want to live with someone else and just NOW realized I'm an adult and I've organized my life in such a way that I don't technically Have to I can just work harder at a number of kind of shitty jobs I'm qualified for

[zephyr-draws]

musings on insects, isolation, and how much can change when you're not looking

[paging-possum]

Reading is so dangerous for me rn like I pick up a book and I truly do not put it down until it’s done. I want to read babel so bad but I’m afraid I won’t leave my room for 2 days

[thethingything]

I keep randomly remembering that the reason our brain is especially fucked and a bunch of our symptoms are worse right now is because of like, an avoidable external thing that's chemically affected our nervous system instead of either our symptoms flaring up on their own or some specific stressful event triggering it, and for some reason that keeps making us feel especially bad about it.

like our mental health being bad because of stressful stuff going on and our mental illnesses randomly flaring up both suck, but I can handle our brain just doing its own thing and/or reacting to what's going on around us.

but something about it being a medication that someone else prescribed that's changed the way our brain functions is significantly more distressing in a way I can't put into words properly. a lot of the symptoms we've got (apathy, brain fog, alexithymia, memory problems, etc) are very typical depression and dissociation symptoms, but they're like a weird version of them that feels very different to how we normally experience them.

the only way I can describe the difference in feeling is that it feels more "artificial" but I can't even really describe what I mean by that. if normal brain fog is looking out the window on a foggy day, this is looking out of a window that's been covered with those frosted vinyl sheets. you can't see shit either way, but the feeling is very different.

I just desperately want it to go away. I'm finding it hard to be enthusiastic about things I'm normally excited about no matter how bad our depression gets, and our usual coping mechanisms for getting our brain to register positive things aren't really working because it's not the same underlying mechanism.

it feels like any control I did have over our symptoms and anything I could do to help with them has been stripped away and all I can do is wait it out and hope it fixes itself, and the whole "being given a drug that changes how your brain functions and takes away your control over what your brain is doing" is pretty much the exact phobia I was trying to learn to figure out how to deal with before we get dental work done, and for the dental work it'd be like... idk probably an hour at most, whereas now I'm just stuck dealing with experiencing it 24/7 for an undetermined amount of time

[yakny]

ARE YOU READY TO LET YOUR HEART REST AMONGST THE EVERLASTING, MY LITTLE CHAMPIÑON FRIEND?

[misskamelie]

What do you know, I may be able to finish this project in a timely manner

[lovvelorrn]

i’m in between jobs atm + waiting for a phone call that may or may not be a super cool opportunity but rn i’m like. what do i do with my free time???

[qourmet]

how much do u wanna bet that by the end of it my poor, pooR console won't be able to actually download the full update anyways

[yardsards]

i mentioned willow park being under-appreciated to my friend and he was like "i need to start a blog in which i post a shitty doodle of willow like, pumping iron or something every 5 minutes" and ik he was joking but Please i need this

[bibleofficial]

i hate not being able to unpack like i NEED to get into a mf let agreement ASAP 😭😭

[rxj-the-punk]

WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUFK WHAT HE

[pelman]

who let me stay up this late and didnt tuck my sleepy ass into bed

[prapuna]

what they dont tell you about learning music instruments is that you have to practice. unbelievable