#i spent years convincing myself that he was a good guy
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becomingeidolons · 2 years ago
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five years worth of anger
#tw sa#found out that the guy I dated twice and did fwb with after the second time dating#sexually assaulted one of my best friends this past summer#she’s asexual and made that clear when they started dating and several months into the relationship she woke up to him touching her#I’m so disgusted that I had such a close relationship and friendship with him for years and never knew he would do something like that#and I feel partially responsible for what he did to her#because he did a similar thing to a lesser degree when we were together#i was blackout drunk and he was sober. and I slept in his car at a party#he claimed that I tried to initiate sex but he didn’t touch me#and I believed him at the time#but after hearing what he did to her I’ll never be able to trust his word#i keep thinking that if I had pressed him about that#or had a backbone at any point during our relationships#he wouldn’t have had the nerve to do what he did to her#I’m the only one of our friends she’s told#everyone else is still close friends with him because they don’t know#and she doesn’t want anyone to cut him off because of it#but I’m positive that anyone in her life would never speak to him again if they knew he was a rapist#i spent years convincing myself that he was a good guy#that I deserved the way he treated me and that it was my fault#but now I know#he’s the worst hypocrite I’ve ever met#i feel physically sick that I spent so much time caring about him and supporting him#and telling him that he’d never be like his father#just for him to do that#to one of the people I love most in the world#I’ve never been this angry before in my life#and I’ll wait until she’s ready to talk about it#because he deserves for everyone he loves to find out what an irredeemably awful person he is
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an-assortment-of-forks · 10 months ago
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there are doctors there are hospitals there are specialists there is medicine there are systems in place so people do not have to suffer and be tortured under their own chronic pain daily and yet. they're all fucking inaccessible to the people who need it most!!! to what I would argue is most disabled people!! I'm so fucking done with the medical system.
#today is an absolutely wretched pain day that makes me want to not be here anymore but guess what!#wasted a whole year trying to convince my doctors I was in significant and disableing pain daily and the best they could do#is tell me to go to PT and to wait 6 months and tell them if it gets better#to prescribe some shit like gabapentin or otc pain meds and write me off#tell me they'll get new X-rays to see if it got worse by the summer#disability exists!! specialists exist! good doctors fucking exist!! somewhere!!! I'm sure!!#but here I sit. in excruciating amounts of pain unable to convince any fucking doctors of anything#and that year I spent pushing myself to the limit is wasted bc at the very end of it all only one guy listened to me#and he said no one in their giant ass facility could diagnose me#so I'm back to square one bc I got a new job which means new insurance and new doctors to try and convince again#I just want to be on disability so i can want to be alive again#I'm so frustrated and in pain constantly#what are people like me who have to work 40hrs to afford to live but don't have any family to rely on supposed to do??#just die? am i supposed to continue to work until im too disabled to move and be profitable unless i get lucky?#bc some fucking doctor finally decides to actually listen???#ive tried ALL THE DAMN TRICKS TOO. telling them a friend has it and thats how i found out. that my previous doctor was looking into it#etc etc#I'm SO done living like this i am exhausted.#and to know that i COULD BE HELPED. RIGHT NOW. is the worst fucking part#these systems are in place so people like me dont have to fucking suffer.#but i cant even do anything about it bc i have a cat.
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orcelito · 24 days ago
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Actually it is SO weird to me to remember that I was an engineering student and that later on I had been pursuing a minor in statistics
I may be a IT & com person in the end, but I do have the foundations of engineering and statistics in my brain too. Wild !
#speculation nation#if i hadnt liked coding so much i probably wouldve still been an engineer.#like my school does a first year engineering track where u learn the basics and then explore different engineering options#so by ur second year u choose your official track and that decides the rest of your schooling.#and id been thinking about computer & electrical engineering. often goes hand in hand.#guys i couldve been an electrical engineer. honestly that wouldve been so cool. wasnt meant to be tho 👍#i took a coding class my 2nd semester. first experience with coding. it was in C. i LOVED it.#and it got me comparing computer engineering and computer science and i decided that i wanted to do computer science#but well the intro course for that fucking sucked. didnt wanna go back to engineering either bc i hated engineering lol#im smart enough but it's fuckin soul sucking man.#eventually tho i found my way to my current home. im a techie :3 and im happy with that.#anyways do i seem like the kind of person who was into engineering and statistics? sometimes it's weird for me to remember.#but i did spent Years assuming id end up as an engineer. my grandpa was one. my dad was studying to be one b4 he dropped out#and my sister is one. just kinda runs in the family i guess. & so i was So Sure that was where i was going.#took. an engineering class in high school and everything. taught me some good foundational skills in modeling#also was the class that let me develop my signature. bc we had a notebook we had to sign the top of every day#so me doing my signature over and over again. i decided to use it as an opportunity to make it My Own. rather than just my name in cursive.#so yeah im a techie that talks good but i do have that math brain. engineering basis. statistics knowledge.#kinda feel like a jack of all trades (master of none) with it all. but see thats a good thing for companies (i hope)#ive got foundational knowledge of many things. and i am Adaptable. they can teach me the in depth shit i need to know themselves.#and i Also have my work experience in management... which i hope will help my case when applying to companies too.#aaaahhh!!! so many things to think about!!! but at the end of the day i am smart & educated and i will be a good asset to any company i join#i just need to convince them of that 😂 but i can probably figure something out. something !!!#i will graduate college and get some kind of IT job that pays decently & work my way up to maybe someday being an IT manager or smth#i can finally start. truly growing up. instead of being stuck in forever college unable to drive myself anywhere.#have my IT job and a car and the ability to do Whatever i want.... god i want it so bad.#im just daydreaming by this point. god im so excited to finally graduate college.
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drabbles-mc · 4 months ago
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Lucky For You
Tyler Owens x F!Reader
Warnings: 18+, fluff, mentions of hospitals/injuries, no use of "y/n"
Word Count: 1.4k
A/N: earlier tonight i lied to myself and said i wouldn't work on any new oneshots until i finished a wip. but I've been marinating on this idea since last week and i just had to write it down. just a short cute little fluffy somethin'! my first twisters fic. hope you enjoy!
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You were shaking your head as you walked back over to the side of the picnic table that Tyler was sitting at. You had a beer bottle in one hand, the other resting on Tyler’s shoulder as you stepped in so you could plop back down beside him at the table.
“I’m still trying to figure out what you guys told Lily to say,” you gestured to Lily then Kate with the bottom of your beer bottle before taking a quick sip, “to get Kate to cave so quickly.” You gave Lily a playful smile. “What’d you say to convince her? Hm? ‘Cause lord knows it wasn’t either of these two,” you said as you nodded to Tyler first, then Boone.
Both men looked at you with dramatic looks of offense. “What?” Tyler asked, grin starting to curl his lips as he spoke. “You don’t think we were charming or convincing enough on our own?”
You rolled your eyes as he draped his arm around you. “No, I don’t.”
It got another wave of laughter. Tyler took the momentary distraction as an opportunity to lean in and kiss your temple. “Seemed to work just fine on you.” He reached across and stole your beer bottle from you, taking a sip before allowing you to snatch it back. “And you said yes to a way more dangerous proposition.”
You shook your head even though you were smiling, even though you could feel your cheeks warming. It was no great secret, or even breaking news at this point after the last few years you’d spent married to the ridiculous man sitting on the picnic table bench next to you. Sometimes, though, you couldn’t help the cheesy grin that crossed your face when you became a little more aware than usual of the wedding band on your hand.
“That’s different,” you said, not that it mattered, not that it helped your case at all as Tyler continued to nettle you good-naturedly.
“How’d you two meet, anyway?” Kate asked.
It was a fair question. You didn’t chase with the rest of them, never had. You’d met and fallen in love with Tyler before he decided to make a career out of it. The journey wasn’t always a smooth or easy one, but you never doubted him, or your relationship, not even for a second. Even in the hard times. A lot can happen over the course of six years, but you still clearly remembered when you first met him.
Tyler had started watching you the second he realized where Kate’s question was going. He watched the little twitches and shifts of your hands and facial expressions as you went rapid-fire back down memory lane. When you ended up with a little smirk on your face, he knew that you were all too happy to tell the story.
You took another drink from your beer bottle before just handing it back to Tyler, rather than trying to make him steal it again. “When I met Tyler, I’d say about, oh, seventy percent? Yeah, seventy. About seventy percent of his face was covered in bruises and bumps. Fractured cheekbone, split lip.” You turned and looked at him even though you were talking to Kate. “He was lookin’ real cute.”
She laughed, but you could see the mild confusion in her eyes as she looked back and forth between the two of you. “You find him after a rough chase, or…?”
You smiled and shook your head. “We met back before he was the infamous Tornado Wrangler.” Leaning forward, you braced your arms flat on the picnic table, Tyler’s hand sliding from your shoulder down to the center of your back, his palm warming you through your tank top. “They brought him to the hospital that I work at after he got stomped out by a bull at the rodeo.” You felt his fingers drumming against your back and your smile stretched a little wider. “I wasn’t even supposed to be checkin’ in on anyone in the wing he was in, but the nurse who was supposed to help discharge him had to leave.”
Tyler had a cocky little smirk on his face. “Lucky for you though.”
You gave him a look that didn’t pack nearly as much of a punch as it should of since you were grinning. “Yeah, real lucky for me that Jay’s kid got in a fight at school so he had to leave and he left you to me.”
Tyler laughed. “He was cute but I gotta say, I think you’re a little cuter.”
You gave him a playful shove, which he responded to by looping his arm around your waist and pulling you closer again. You shook his head at him before looking back at Kate. “Anyway, as I was saying. I go into his room to talk through some of the paperwork with him, and with one eye practically swollen shut still this man right here is tryin’ to get my number.”
“Actually, if I remember right—”
“You were concussed into next Tuesday—I doubt you remember much of anything right.”
“If I remember,” he repeated with a laugh, “I was actually tellin’ you that you should just jot my number down from my patient forms so you could call me sometime.”
You looked at Kate with a feigned nonplussed look. “Told me somethin’ about making a ‘house call’. Real bold for a man who was about half an inch away from some serious brain damage.”
“Probably what gave him the confidence to ask in the first place,” Lily piped up with a laugh.
Everyone was laughing, and listening. Kate might’ve been the only one in present company who hadn’t heard the story before, but it wasn’t as though it was something that the two of you were constantly rehashing all the time. The two of you usually kept the retellings amusing enough anyway, allowing the rest of the crew to throw in their two cents even though they hadn’t been there when it all started. After all, Tyler might’ve been the one you met first, and under some pretty dire conditions, but you’d been around to help out the rest of the team plenty of times since then. Whether you were making sure they were all alright after a rough chase, or meeting up with them in the towns that had been blown through to see who you could help even if you weren’t off the clock. You might not have chased with the rest of them, but you were still part of the team.
“How long did it take for him to wear you down, then?” Kate asked.
 The shit-eating grin on Tyler’s face grew tenfold. He lightly bumped his shoulder against yours. “Go ahead. Tell her.”
You dropped your forehead so that it rested on top of your forearms for a moment before looking up and at Kate again. “I gave him my number after I pushed him to the lobby in his wheel chair.”
“Doctor’s orders, by the way,” he interjected with a shake of his head. “I didn’t need it.”
You rolled your eyes but kept going. “He was pretty persistent the whole way down, so I told him if he still remembered my name and number by the time his fractures all healed up, I’d meet him for a cup of coffee or somethin’.”
“Cup of coffee ended up bein’ a split six-pack and a failed bonfire at her cousin’s place, by the way,” he added on with a chuckle.
“Yeah, and your lip still wasn’t fully healed.”
He smirked. “Didn’t stop you though.” You lightly swatted his chest with the back of your hand but you didn’t say anything to refute his statement. “So really, what I’m hearin’, is that you shouldn’t be havin’ any doubts about our charms.”
“Sayin’ yes to a date is nothing like—”
“You also said yes to marryin’ him,” Lily added on, always happy to stir the pot just a little. “Y’know, with the ring that he almost lost in a chase.”
Tyler rolled his eyes. “If I left it at home I was sure she’d find it!”
“Yeah,” Lily laughed as she argued, “and if the chase went wrong somebody on the other end of the county would find it. Then what?”
Tyler laughed and shrugged. “Corner store sells Ring Pops.”
You had no shot at tamping down your smile. “Prob’ly still would’ve said yes, too.”
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(divider by @saradika 💞)
Twisters Taglist (please let me know if you'd like to be added to any of my taglists): @garbinge
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wrioluvr · 8 months ago
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subby vampire x dom male reader
sorry for being inactive yall teehee just thought about this cute little idea and had to write it... also no sex just a little spicy lmk if yall want to see more of this guy 🤭
★ ; 🦇🍷. . ♱
you did not expect it to rain during your forest hike today. anticipation to dive into the lush green unknown was quickly turned into a wet mess as your scrambled to find shelter, unsure of where you were even going as the gps signal got weaker deeper into the forest you ventured. much to your surprise, you soon came upon a quaint winding road. following it lead to an ancient-looking manor straight out of the victorian era. despite your brain recounting that this was how every horror movie started, you were desperate to be out of the cold, and soon rushed to the grand door to seek warmth. luckily, someone answered the door. a tall, lanky, ghost of a man, who quickly invited you in and fretted over the prospect of you catching a cold. he was a little odd, speaking in such a proper, olden manner, but he was lovely.
despite your initial protests of overstaying your welcome, he managed to convince you to stay for a week. he invited you to join him for dinner everyday, and it was through these meals that you found out quite a lot about him. one, his name was kliff (you swore his face turned red when you said he had a handsome name), and that he was a vampire who was at least a hundred years old (he stopped counting after the 120th year). the way he revealed it was kind of adorable, he was so reluctant at first.
"sooooo, kliff. you're a vampire, right?"
"goodness, whatever gave you that idea? i most certainly am not." his face said otherwise as his eyes darted everywhere around the room but your gaze, and the tip of his ears turned red.
"and you're gay, right?"
"now THAT is an accusation!" he replied indignantly, now fully flustered. "i, a dignified gentleman, would never engage in such sinful acts."
"but i saw you peeking at me showering yesterday. pervert." you were having the time of your life teasing this poor fossil.
he stood up from the dinner table and paced around the room. "i did no such thing." he mumbled, face somehow steaming even more than you thought was humanly possible. wait, but he wasn't a human. nevermind.
you spent most of your week exploring his manor, poking around the various dusty bookshelves and artifacts of an era long bygone. if there was one thing you picked up from your exploration, it was that kliff was awfully lonely. and had been for a long time. he didn't seem to have had any romantic partners, probably due to his sexuality, nor any pets to keep him company. you could infer this from his clingy nature, he was constantly in the shadows observing you, blending in seamlessly using his powers. he thought he was being slick, but really, he was a rather clumsy vampire. whenever you caught him, he would always act oblivious, and give you a sheepish grin, before scurrying away. it was quite cute, really. another thing was the fact that he never asked to drink from you. "it is quite alright. i sustain myself well enough through other means." was all he said when you asked him about it. mysterious. almost like he didn't dare to taint your skin with his fangs. you decided not to tell him about the fact that you were aware he watched you when you were asleep in the guest room, sometimes even daring to climb into bed silently with you and bask in your presence. he was a lonely soul, you figured. you could let him be delusional for a bit. you would leave after this week, anyway.
but that week passed quick, and with each day, kliff seemed to grow even more on edge, getting nervous whenever he was around you but never daring to speak what was on his mind. brooding around the house, watching you silently as you attempted to grow something in his dying garden... oh it was bad for him. but this came all to a head on your last day, when you bid your goodbyes and were one foot out the door, and he suddenly gathered the courage to say something.
kliff threw himself at you in one final, desperate plea. "please... please don't go...." his tone was so pitiful, you stopped in your tracks and looked at the way he's grabbing your wrist so tightly. "i... i.... if i may, i have one final request."
"you want to drink from me? honestly, i'm surprised you didn't ask earlier."
"no, no... it's not that. it's the opposite, really. may i... may i humbly request that you..." he stops mid sentence and breaks eye contact to look at the ground, voice so soft you could barely hear him. "bite me instead..."
"i beg your pardon?"
"i would like for you to leave a mark on me. as a reminder of your presence." his tone is slightly more confident now as he meets your eyes, centuries-old desire rekindled and burning within them. he falters a bit as he notices your lack of response. "....please?" he mumbles pathetically.
oh, poor baby. he's wanted a man to love him all his life. luckily for him, you found his desperation cute. you drop your bag and take his hand in yours.
"want me to take the lead?" you squeeze his hand, and he nods shyly.
"i would like nothing more."
you gently, but firmly pin him to the nearest wall, the ancient manor creaking under the pressure. it's kind of poetic, kliff thinks, as he wilts under your touch, it sounds like my house is congratulating me. you start off by peppering fleeting kisses all across his neck, admiring the small noises of pleasure he made everytime your lips came into contact with his skin. the fleeting touches turned into harsher bites, as you nibbled at his delicate skin, so fragile and untouched. it was just like he fantasized, and he was in heaven. he gripped onto the wall for support as he gasped at the new sensation, writhing around as you marked him, but your strong hands on his waist kept him steadily in place, a feeling he quickly learnt to enjoy. all those years he spent in solitude seemed to culminate to this moment, he'd never felt more intimate with anyone in his life. you stepped back to look at your handiwork and he immediately collapsed into your arms, a dark purple hickey prominently showing on his neck. he stared up at you lovingly, unable to really form thoughts. "please don't go...." was all he could mutter as you slowly swayed him back and forth, soothing his cold, beating heart.
"guess i'll see you next week, hm?" he's never been happier to hear those words in his long life.
>ᵥᵥ< 💘
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whoskimii · 4 months ago
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How bad I am craving a choso fic where you two made a bet on how long he could go without slamming himself inside of u
And after what ,two days he just grabs you and eat you out till u pass out
Like he refuse to get away even if you push him bc of the over stimulation
He'd eat you out ,on the edge of the bed,from the back WILL MAKE YOU SIT ON HIS PRETTY FACE ‼️‼️
Then when you finally are awake ,hell apologize and finally pound into you ( poor boy needs his release too)
yummy <33
⋆౨ৎ˚ notes > choso x you. he's kindaaa subby. mommy kink...????? hehe <3 tell me if i missed anything!! ^^ ౨ৎ warning : you may have butterflies in your belly while reading this!! 𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔
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choso, as needy as he was, was utterly convinced that he could go a long time without feeling the need of burying himself into your tight little heat. "can't be that hard." he shrugged.
after all, he spent so many many years without someone to love. so when yuuji introduced you to choso, aiming for the two of you to become friends, you became more. more than simple friends.
choso finally had someone to love, to cherish, as much as you loved and cherished him. he began learning the concepts and bases of humanity with you and he instantly became putty in your pretty hands.
when you introduced him to cuddles and sex, poor baby just lost his mind :( you cuddled more often than you fucked made love but whenever you two would get all steamy and nasty, choso would always convince you to cockwarm him to sleep after you were done.
"i heard some guys talk about something in public," he mumbled against your neck as you caressed his soft hair. "they were talking about trying not to have sex with their girlfriends for as long as they could. wanna try too..."
even though his words surprised you, you only giggled. "really ? you're sure you'll last ?" choso hummed, tightening the hold he had around your waist. "can't be that hard."
you smiled. "alright. but that also probably means that you can't touch yourself, pretty boy." he lifted his head, looking up at you with wide eyes. he seemed like a lost puppy. "really...? i can't touch myself ?" you shrugged. "yeah. what's the point in being able to touch yourself if you're trying to last as long as possible without sex ?" choso sighed. "oh... you're right... i'm sure i can last at least... two weeks." two weeks ?
that's why you found yourself sitting on your boyfriend's face as you rode his nose as he overstimulated the shit out of you. you already came at least three times. and only on his tongue.
he didn't last two weeks. he lasted two days.
he whimpered underneath you, tongue eagerly lapping at your pussy. "m'sorry, you just taste so good..." his nose bumped against your clit, which caused you to grip the headboard as you moaned. "i tried... really tried..." he mumbled, his bulge growing painfully hard.
you rode his nose, biting your lip. "cho', s'too much..." you sighed. "y'taste so good... wanna stay like that forever..." he babbled, pussydrunk. "fuck, baby, m'boutta cum again..." you whimpered.
at your words, he perked up. his tongue lapped at your pussy more vigorously. "yeah ?" he breathed. "pleasepleaseplease, just... just cum... need to taste you so much..." you hummed, riding his nose. "s'only been two days, baby..." you mumbled. "yeah, s'way too long... need you too much to go without your pussy for a long time..."
"baby, cho', m'coming..." you could feel your pussy clench around his tongue. your eyes rolled back as you came. choso whimpered and drank every drop. "y'taste so good... makes my mouth all tingly..."
after a while, you fell asleep as you cuddled with your boyfriend. however, he was restless. he could feel his cock throb under the blankets. he desperately needed to be buried inside you.
with a soft needy whine, he kissed your neck. he licked your soft skin and climbed on top of you before he parted your legs and settled between your thighs. he pulled his cock out and pumped it a few times, enough to get it even harder. he slid your panties down and smelled them, all the while sliding himself inside you. he let out a quiet whimper into your panties and began thrusting lazily. "m'sorry... m'sorry, don't mean to..." he babbled against your neck.
as you began stirring awake to the pleasant sensation of being stretched out by a girthy cock, your hands instantly found their way to his hair. "baby..." you breathed sleepily. he whimpered softly as your slippery insides clenched around him and he lifted your shirt up and began sucking on your nipple like a baby. "m'sorry, mommy..." he mumbled against your nipple. you gently caressed his hair, shushing him. "shh, it's alright, baby... it's all fine... mommy's right there..."
"gonna cum..." already ? of course. choso missed the feeling of being buried inside you, which made him even more sensitive. "you can go ahead, baby..." you sighed. "ngh..."
after a few more shallow thrusts, his hips stuttered and he hid his face in your neck, spilling himself inside you. you moaned at the feeling of being filled and he peppered kisses all over your jawline. "thank you... thank you..."
yeah, and he thought he could last at least two weeks.
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i love subby chosobear :33
⋆˚࿔ kimi 𝜗𝜚˚⋆
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hotnbloodied · 5 months ago
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Hiiii can I request popular yandere classmate x oblivious reader, oh and can it be smut pleassee?
Thanks for your ask! I started randomly naming all my yanderes even if they are all one shots, I don't know if I want to keep it though. We'll see. This one almost fucking tore me to shreds, I might need a break after this. Anyway, hope you enjoy!
-˚ʚ♡ɞ˚HB˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
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Yan!Popular Boy X Oblivious Reader (!!SMUT!!)
!Warning! This post contains yandere themes and topics that may be uncomfortable to people who are sensitive to the topic, read at your own discretion.
CW: not proof read, yous/yours used, gn reader, there is SEX, sloppy lewd writing, yandere tendencies, reader is kind of silly here. (LMK if I'm missing anything.)
!!READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION!! MINORS DNI!!
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It was the first group project of the year! You and three other people were going to be randomly assigned together to work on a research project about something or another. The first two seemed like nice people but the third was Atticus, your friends have talked about him before. Wasn’t he popular or something? When the group met face to face you finally understood why, he was funny, charismatic and quite the looker. Your group decided to meet up in the library and you thanked your lucky stars that it seemed everyone was working well with each other. The other two in the group knew each other and were friends so when one of them had to leave later on in the day the other one did so as well leaving you and Atticus the only ones in the group still in the library.
Without the other two here, people were more inclined to come by to say hi to Atticus causing him to get distracted, you didn’t care much honestly, you had work to do after all. You overheard a couple of the people who came to talk to Atticus talk about some sort of group karaoke and that he should join them. “Sorry guys, I’m still with my group partner,” he apologized. You looked up, “it’s all good, this is just the first day after all.” Atticus looked at you incredulously. “See? Even your groupmate thinks it’s fine. Join us, Atticus, the girls are asking for you.” Internally he was annoyed, he already said no and the least his groupmate could do was back him up. Were you really that stupid? Eventually though, he was able to convince them to leave him alone. But when he turned expecting to see you still sitting there you were gone. Your stuff was still here so he assumed you went to get more material to research.
Scanning over the library he spots you eventually, struggling to reach for a book on a higher shelf. He sighs and starts walking over to assist but it turns into a run when he notices that you’re about to get toppled by said books. He covers you from getting hurt and curses at himself because having books fall on him fucking hurts. “What are you doing?” He says sternly, “if you can’t reach something ask for help.” He gasps, some of his true self leaked out, his image of a prince type is over. “Dang I’m sorry, you’re right. No sense in getting myself hurt, thanks! By the way, are you okay?” Suddenly, his heart raced, he didn’t know why. It might have been the way you looked under him currently, or it might have been the way you accept his rough tone with you, but either way he was going to explore it, explore you.
The project goes by smoothly, you still hang out with Atticus since the two of you exchanged numbers due to the project. You found it really weird though, each time you hung out with him and his friends, his friends were never able to make it. You hope you’re not scaring them away. Little did you know that if anyone is scaring people away it’s Atticus. The more time he spent with you was like heaven but also hell. He loved spending time and learning new things about you but, fuck, why were you not picking up any of the hints and flirty signs he was giving you?! Like today when it was just the two of you again, you two were at the movies and he tried to get an arm over your shoulder. “Oh my! Are you cold? Here, you can have my jacket.” And wrapped him up in your jacket! Sure, being able to smell your scent was nice but that’s not what he wanted! To rub salt on the wound too, after the movies his friends spotted him and invited you two to join them and you ACCEPTED! “Oh sorry, were you guys on a date?” One of his friends asked. “Oh no, we’re just chilling! We’d love to join you!” You responded. He almost choked up blood.
He went to his last resort and feigned sickness. Worry etched your face and you apologized as you helped carry him away. He convinced you to go to his place since it was nearby and was a bit hurt that you agreed so readily, you were going to be in a private space with him after all. Arriving at his place you helped him inside, all the way to his room. As you wished him better and got up to leave he tugged your arm. “Wait a minute,” he says. “Hm? What’s up, need something?” He hugs you, “I… I need you.” Not sure what he meant, but feeling like he needed this, you hugged him and both of you stayed like that for a while. That was, until his lower half decided to act up. “Do you, uh, need help with that?” You ask, almost too innocently. His face flushed, “help with this…?” “Of course, a boner is a natural part of your body, you know. Though I also heard that boners don’t happen just because someone is horny though…are you horny?” Atticus felt the blood rush to his head, all he could do was meekly nod.
You were sucking on his member, he could tell that you’ve done something like this before but maybe not too often due to the slight hesitation you exhibited. Regardless though he never imagined you would have been so willing to do this for him, should he have asked sooner? The sight of your mouth wrapped so prettily around his cock, he wasn’t the type that was quick to cum but just because it was you doing this act on him he felt close. He couldn’t have that, so he grabbed your shoulder and urged you on to his bed. “Take off your clothes,” he instructs. You did as he told, he gulped, he wanted this for how long now? It felt surreal that this was real. He couldn’t help but use his hands to explore your body, groping, touching, feeling your warmth. Your breathing quickened, you weren’t sure why he was taking so long, his exploration of your body started making you feel needy. You were close to telling him to hurry but let out a yelp when he started to suck and lick on your chest. He worked his way down to your lower area.
“What are you doing? Is all this necessary?” You ask him. “Please,” he begged, “I just need this, won’t you let me?” You whimpered, this is good and all but all this teasing is something you aren’t used to. He sucked and tongue prodded you for a while, you said that you would let him do what he wanted but you wanted to release soon and his tongue wasn’t doing that for you. “Hey, uh– hnn!!” Before you could say anything more he inserted a finger then two into you, rhythmically finger fucking you. Making sure to brush against your g spot each time. You were so close and Atticus knew it, so he stopped making you whine even louder. “Why did you stop?” “Grind on my dick,” he ordered. Sluggishly you got up and did as he was told. “Don’t even try to insert before I allow you to.” So you rubbed your sensitive area against him, slow at first but even you can grow impatient and you’ve been that for a while. Your wetness making a mess and with your bodies grinding against each other a squelching sound reverberated through the room along with the heavy panting and moaning. “Soon please?” You begged. Atticus needed you badly as well so he pushed you down on the bed again and aligned himself before pushing in causing you to scream out from the intrusion. He jackhammered you silly, “fuck, fuck, fuck, please. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes,” he chanted like a mantra, “I need you so bad.” What followed was one of the hardest orgasms you ever had. He unsheathed from you and quickly went to your face marking your face all over with his seed.
After a couple of beats you asked, “hey, uh, can I have some napkins?” “S-sorry,” he scrambled to his drawer and took out a box of tissues. After you cleaned yourself up you asked, “I’d like to borrow your bathroom.” He told you that it was down the hall. You took your clothes and left his room, when you came back you thanked him. “Well that was fun! I’m going to head home now. I’ll see you later alright?” And left. He was shocked, how fucking clueless can you be?? He was going to make sure you understood that you were his now and he was going to move heaven and hell to make sure that happens, his darling.
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feyascorner · 10 months ago
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7 | The Fangs Between Us
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summary. “It’s too hard to see. We need to turn back.”
“Don’t tell me you’re afraid of a little bit of darkness.”
You scrunch your nose at this, and he merely grins. Before you can say anything, he’s back to pacing across the dirt without a care in the world—almost too fast for your liking. “Will you at least slow down?”
“Shall I hold your hand?”
“I’d rather cut it off.”
“A pity.”
warnings. angst, comfort, slow burn, tav reader is a bard, italics are flashbacks
pairing. Astarion x GN!Reader
parts. TFBU masterlist
a/n. 6.9k words !!! this chapter took forever but somehow i managed!! thank you so much for your kind words and patience !!! he's kind of a silly guy in the chapter so pls enjoy this peace offering as the calm before a storm
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“Are you sure this is the right course of action? Letting him ascend?” Shadowheart asks as you adjust one of the logs in the campfire, watching the other companions organize their tents from afar. You stop at this, turning to face her.
“It’s what he wants,” you mumble. “I won’t stop him if he’s sure this is the right thing to do.”
You’re still getting used to her hair, which’s now as white as a sheet, but you think it looks lovely against the fire. She seems calmer than she did when she was with Shar. At peace, almost. She casts you a sidelong glance. “Can we really trust his judgment of all people? He’s—I mean, well, him.”
“I know it sounds unreasonable," you say letting yourself sit down beside her on her bedroll. “But I want him to make his own decisions. He’s spent too many years having no choice of his own, and I’d be the worst person to take it away from him again.”
“I just,” her voice softens. “Astarion’s a complicated person, and I’m sure you know better than us. It’s because he couldn’t make his own choices for so long that it makes me think he’s lost his capability to make any choices anymore. Good ones, at least.”
“I trust him.”
“Gods knows how.”
You stifle a laugh, and she sips at her wine, eyes still glazing over the camp. There’s a kind of solemnness to them that makes your stomach churn. “You seem worried.”
“Not worried, per se,” she shrugs. “I just realize that I owe a debt to you for what you did for me against my lad—I mean, Shar. And I myself almost went down that dark path of becoming a Justiciar if it weren’t for you. At the time, I thought it was the best thing for me too, like Astarion believes ascension to be what will set him free.”
You nod patiently, urging her to continue.
“I only fear he might make the wrong choice if he doesn’t have the right guidance as I did.”
The words feel hesitant on her tongue. And although they make the voice in the back of your head, telling you to convince Astarion otherwise, louder, you ignore it, opting to smile at her softly instead. “Is this you caring about our companions?”
“Heavens, no,” she snorts, but there’s a joking tone behind her voice. “But like I said…I’m indebted to you all. Astarion also aided in my personal affairs with Shar, even if he didn’t have to, and even with his incessant complaining…I suppose this is my way of paying him back.”
Your chest warms. It’s soothing to know that even without you, your other companions have enough care for your lover to offer him bits of advice; in a way, it relieves a bit of weight off your shoulders. Even the companions who claim to detest his presence have grown fond of him over the months, and you’re sure it goes both ways. It helps because even if you’re gone, you know he’ll be okay.
“I never told you formally,” she sighs. “But thank you.”
“You don’t have to thank me or feel indebted. I just did what I could for you.”
“Don’t be so humble. What you’ve done for me—for all of us—is something we’ll cherish for the rest of our lives,” she takes her last swig from her wine. “But from one messed up person to another, please, be careful.”
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Your wrist feels sore.
Two days. It’s been two days since the incident at the Blushing Mermaid, and still, your body seems to burn whenever you see his closed door across yours from the hall, and all you can do is rub shamefully at the healing puncture wounds on your wrist. The bandages looping around the skin do a good enough job of hiding them, but you genuinely wish you could just ask Shadowheart to heal them for you because being able to see them does little to help with the constant thoughts of the vampire muddling the clarity of your mind. 
But you’d rather not let your companions know what happened between you and the vampire on the dirtied floors of the Blushing Mermaid. You’d likely die of shame for letting him drink from you, even after your mutual agreement to specifically avoid just that. What’s worse is that you expect the worst from Lae’zel, especially after her explicit advice to do the exact opposite of what you chose to do.
You tighten the bandages again.
“Did those yourself, did you?”Alfira snorts, and you almost have half a mind to glare at her if it weren’t for the crumpled sheets of paper surrounding the legs of her chair. The ink on the discarded pages now blends into mush as they lie in the puddles forming around her—an aftermath of the recent rainy weather. You don’t tell her, though. She seems frustrated enough as it is, and you fear she might snap a string of her lute if this prolongs any longer. “How’d you get hurt anyway?”
“It’s a bug bite.”
“A rather massive bug, apparently.”
The corners of your lips quirk downward, and she finally sets her lute aside, careful to avoid the puddles as she props it against the side of her stool to focus on her notepad instead. Though most of its pages have now been torn out, the remaining few have scribbles of song lyrics that even you can’t decipher with how messily the ink splatters across the page. She, however, seems perfectly fine reading its contents aside from her glaringly obvious distaste for the words themselves. You raise your brow. “Can you really read that?”
“Oh, hush. Don’t insult my penmanship.”
You snicker, eyes continuing to scan the sheets of paper that had been abandoned on Dalyria’s desk at the Blushing Mermaid. It’d taken quite some time to take apart the pages plastered on the wall and to organize the mountain of doctor’s notes lying across the lair, but you’d managed to fish out something useful eventually. The journal was one that seemed especially important, filled to the brim with Dalyria’s so-called ‘research.’ 
But if the past few days have told you anything, it’s that Dalyria is a terrible note-taker.
The pages are filled with shapes. Some are curved, and others just bend and contort into odd figures that you’re sure aren’t supposed to look like letters. Each page studies a different shape on a random part of the page, leaving them scattered and difficult to decipher.
You’re starting to think this is just some odd attempt at art rather than the studies she claims to be performing.
“And? Why are you here if you’re not here to look at those lyrics I gave you?”
“I’m trying to figure out what this journal says,” you sigh, flipping another page you don’t understand. “And if you couldn’t tell, I’m rather busy trying to find the people responsible for murders around the city, so excuse me if I haven’t had the time to glance at your song.”
“I’m plenty busy myself, you know! I just got hired to sing at this fancy party for some celebration. They even said I could dress all nice for it,” she smiles proudly, and you offer her a crooked one of your own. “It’s my first serious gig—so I’m a bit nervous with how large it is…”
“How’d you land something like that before you’ve even played at children’s birthday parties?”
“Well, I’m not doing it alone, obviously,” she reasons, scratching something on her pages again. “I’m going with one of my friends. She’s a wonderful violinist, and she managed to squeeze me into the event, which I’m so grateful for…I suppose I’m just a bit worried.”
You look up from Dalyria’s notebook. “Worried? What for?”
“That my fingers will lock up, and I’ll humiliate myself,” she admits sheepishly, tucking a portion of her hair behind her sharp ear. “Lihala used to call me silly for worrying about things that haven’t happened–but I can’t help it. It’s the before-show jitters. Pesky things. It’s a bit embarrassing, really.”
Humming in acknowledgment, you look to the murky skies overhead, where dark clouds threaten to pour down for at least another few days. A shame, you think. You’ve never seen the Summers of Baldur’s Gate feel so dreary.
It’s fitting, almost, considering the state that the city is in.
The painful sound of quill scratching against paper is all you can hear now as Alfira sighs irritably again, ripping out another sheet of paper.
“It’s not embarrassing,” you finally say.
She blinks up from her notepad. “What is?”
“Being nervous. I’ve done more performances than I can count, and my hands would still get clammy in front of a big crowd,” you laugh to yourself. “But when you see how they watch you as if you’re performing sorcery with your lute, it’s like you were never anxious in the first place. The audience is what makes it bearable.”
“Gods, I hope you’re right,” she smiles fondly as you continue to reminisce in your own memories. “It’s a rather shame we never got to perform together. Not after the last time we played at the Grove–and I don’t even count that occasion with how unstable my voice was…”
“I can watch if you’d like,” you offer. “Your performance, I mean.”
Her eyes gleam with excitement, and she reaches to clasp both your hands, beaming brightly. “Will you? I’m sure if you’re there, it’ll ease my nerves, too!-”
As you shift in your seat to follow your hands, Dalyria’s notebook slips off your lap. The simple splash beneath you tells you all you need to know as your eyes shoot down to where the notebook now lies face down into a puddle, and you don’t even have to lift it to know that its pages are soaked.
But you don’t have to pick it up yourself because Alfira’s carefully holding it in an instant, her face pale as she fans her hand in a fruitless attempt to prevent the damage already done. “Dammit, I’ve done it again! I’m truly sorry…I didn’t mean for that to happen! But I’m sure if we just put it in the sunlight for a few days, it’ll–”
You gently take it from her hands, shaking your head. Perhaps it’s because you were just deep into memories you hold dear to your heart, but there isn’t an ounce of panic in your voice. “It’s fine. I wasn’t getting anywhere with this thing anyway.”
“Still…”
The pages stick together in chunks as you flip the journal towards the pages that are at least half dry. You fear they might tear off at the slightest touch, so all you can do is stare at a page you deem to be soaking up the ink from the pages behind it. Alfira groans into her hands, and before you can spare her a glance to remind her it’s alright, you spot something in the middle of the page.
“Holy shit,” you whisper so quietly she doesn’t catch it.
“I’ll grab us a wind scroll. Or maybe that’s too strong? Surely there’s some spell that can dry off books.”
“You have no idea what you’ve just done for me, Alfira,” you blurt, already halfway to stuffing the journal into your pack. She blinks up at you with weary eyes, but you quickly clamber off the stool with no time to offer an explanation. “Let me know when the performance is. I’ll be here next week as usual.”
“Don’t you want me to dry off the pages?”
“No,” you shake your head, your heart pounding. “I need to show this to the others.”
She stares at you as if you’ve grown a second head. Still, as you rush toward the stairs leading to the city streets, she calls after you.
“Don’t forget to look at the lyrics!”
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“Runes? As in the ones carved into Astarion’s back?”
“I thought they were random blots of ink, but,” you raise the notebook in your hands, and the soaked pages now show the contents of the following sheets, blending to form a larger image. The placement of the shapes were not random at all, and you internally apologize for calling Dalyria a few less-than-kind words in your mind. “They’re not. They’re parts of the runes that Cazador tried to use for the ritual. There are six sets of runes in here, and each one’s slightly altered.”
“But what purpose does that serve?” Shadowheart cocks a brow, eyeing the page questionably with crossed arms. “Cazador’s dead. There’s no ascension to be done.”
“Unfortunately, just because that haunting man is gone doesn’t mean the threat of an ascension is either.” Intrigued but clearly disturbed, Gale takes the notebook and squints at what it holds. “Cazador himself never needed to be the one to execute the ascension.”
The room goes silent, leaving an uncomfortable tension in the air that keeps you from moving. You’re not sure how many seconds pass before you hear the figure who’s been awfully quiet the past half an hour mutter something under his breath from the comfy armchair beside the fireplace.
Astarion clicks his tongue, seemingly unfazed. “Ah, I see.”
The fists at your side clench tighter. The bandages feel impossibly tight all of a sudden.
“It’s for the ascension, clearly. There’s no other plausible explanation,” his eyes remain glued to the flickering flames, swirling a chalice of wine in his hand. He doesn’t sip from it, knowing that it tastes of nothing but vinegar on his undead tongue, so why he’s poured himself a glass, you don’t understand. You also can’t be bothered to ask. “Perhaps they plan to enact it. Take a piece of all that power for themselves.”
“But they can’t do the ascension,” Shadowheart frowns, turning to you. “You said there’s only six runes in there. They don’t have the last one to enact the ascension because Astarion’s with us. Cazador’s the only one who could have done it because he’s the only one who knows what each of the runes looks like. Without Astarion’s, they can’t—”
“They wanted him,” you whisper the confession, and you swear your voice nearly cracks. “They wanted Astarion. That’s why they wanted to speak with me.”
All three of your companions whip their heads to you, and you stare down at the ground. Shame burns through you, and you can practically feel the disappointment radiating off them as it dawns on you that you lied to them. You lied to your closest companions for the sake of saving yourself the embarrassment that no matter what you do, no matter what you tell yourself, your subconscious forces you to care for the bloody vampire sitting beside the fireplace. Despite the many eyes on you, you can only feel one crimson pair that bore into you like the sun beating down on a hot summer’s day.
Even now, he’s your biggest concern, and you hate yourself for it.
“Then it’s not Astarion they need,” Gale says breathlessly. “They need the marks on his back.”
“And you didn’t tell us this, why?” Shadowheart hisses. “You said they just tried to kill you!”
You blurt. “They did! They said they’d stop killing citizens if I just tossed Astarion over to them, but when I said no, they completely flipped and–”
“You declined that deal?” Lae’zel snarls, and you unwillingly flinch at the venom in her tone. “You swore, istik. You swore you wouldn't be foolish if it came down to you or him.”
The words feel like a knife to your throat.
“Well, obviously, it worked out,” you grumble, ignoring how Lae’zel’s eyes are narrowed dangerously. No doubt, she has questions of her own that she’ll demand answers to later. “If I handed him over, they would’ve had the last key to conducting the ascension.”
“You still lied to us,” Shadowheart steps toward you, but Gale quickly clears his throat.
“I know how deceived we all feel, but must we fight? What matters is the spawns can’t conduct the ascension as of now, correct?” he attempts to calm her down, but her scowl only grows deeper. “As disappointed as we all are, we must admit that keeping Astarion here is the right decision.”
“You’re too hasty, wizard,” Lae’zel snaps. “A vampire’s ascension would mean ridding of all the other spawn wreaking havoc in the city. We mustn’t throw away a chance being offered without considering it.”
Shadowheart is immediately on her feet, her eyebrows furrowing. “Don’t be an idiot–a few thousand spawn is better than a nearly impenetrable being capable of creating even more spawn. That’s asking for just as bad as we are now–maybe even worse.”
They break into a simultaneous debate, one in which two room occupants do not take part. Because even as you try to focus on what the others are saying, all you can feel is the unsettling stare of the spawn in the corner of the room, his hand still swirling the wine. You wonder if his wrist ever gets tired. You refuse to give him the satisfaction of returning his stare, but you watch him from the corner of your eye as his attention shifts to your wrist.
“Are we even sure this is what they’re planning? Do a few drawings prove that they want to go through with this ritual, again, after what it nearly did to them?” Shadowheart’s attention darts to you. “This ritual would kill them. Why in the hells would all of them agree to do it if it only means one would come out alive?”
You open your mouth to respond, but nothing comes out in return. The hurt embedded into her expression is so glaringly apparent that it makes your chest squeeze uncomfortably, and all you can do is look away in shame. “...I don’t know.”
Her face hardens. “Do you? Or are you just lying to us again?”
Cheeks flaring, you shake your head. “I’m not lying, I swear it.”
Her eyes flicker with something you don’t recognize before they flit to your bandaged arm and then back to your eyes. She doesn’t miss how you try to move your arm behind you. A miscalculation on your part since your attempt at hiding it makes your secret that much more obvious. “Then what are those for? You’ve had them on since you returned from the Blushing Mermaid, and you refuse to let me heal you myself. Just what did you get injured from?”
The room is so silent you can hear your own heartbeat.
“I–” you stop, wavering. “There was a—”
Shadowheart clenches her jaw. “Don’t lie. Please.”
But still, no words are willing to leave your throat. 
Your companions await words from you that do not exist. Like a deer in headlights, you stand numbly, unsure what to do. Fortunately, and also unfortunately, before long, Lae’zel has had enough of waiting, and she begins to march toward you in a way that makes you step away.
“Give me your arm,” she demands. “If you cannot say, then show us.”
You can feel all the blood draining from your face as she draws closer. But even Gale cannot hinder her this time because everyone in the room knows what she’s capable of with that blade attached to her hip, and she’s not against wasting a few potions of healing if she has to barrel her way through. You brace yourself for the inevitable, teeth gritting together.
Just as she reaches for your arm, someone else snatches it away.
“I drank from them,” Astarion says as you bump slightly into his chest, eyes wide at his pale fingers wrapped around your wrist. He yanks the edge of the bandage down with his free hand and lifts it for the others to see. The two puncture wounds, where the skin that surrounds it is darker than the rest, make you feel naked under the eyes of others. It’s too vulnerable. Too mortifying.
Your heart hammers pathetically, and whether it’s from the expressions of your companions or the hand wrapped around the sensitive skin of your wrist, you’re not sure. You hope it’s not the latter.
Gale’s jaw drops. “We agreed that this was the one thing you wouldn’t do.” 
“If I hadn’t, I would’ve perished,” the vampire retorts in response, releasing his hold on your arm as it falls back to your side. The place where his hand had been tinges under your skin. “And there weren’t exactly a few boars lying around the damn city for me to feed on.”
You notice he fails to mention there had been more than enough bodies to satiate him, but you keep your mouth shut.
The hurt on Shadowheart’s face is no longer one that throbs your sympathy. Instead, she seems to burn with something you haven’t seen in ages.
Anger.
Her palm flickers with radiant light, and Astarion immediately flinches, hissing as he moves to hide his body behind yours. In your haste, you can’t think of anything to do besides stepping toward her, holding out your hands. Astarion releases a strained laugh from behind you. “Now, Shadowheart, let’s not do anything hilarious, shall we?”
“I’ll kill you,” she growls maliciously, the glow of her palm growing brighter. “Like I should have done the second you came back to ruin everything we’ve done without you.”
You cautiously approach her, focus never leaving her eyes despite the danger festering in her hands. “You shouldn’t, Shadowheart.”
She throws daggers in your direction with just her expression, and you can’t deny how helpless you feel. “Killing him would end all of this. If we buried him somewhere, they’d never find the runes. They’d never be able to follow through with the ascension, and we won’t have to deal with his pompous ass anymore.”
You hate that she’s right. You hate that even though she’s right, you can’t agree with her methods.
“I know he’s—not exactly a friend—but he was once. And I know you considered him one as well,” you insist, inching closer. The hesitance in her motions as you come too close to the radiant light is undeniable. “I don’t want you to bear the guilt of his death.”
Because as much as you’re wrapped up in a world of your own–a world where you fight to hate the man behind you–you know that your companions feel the same way. The sentiments gathered from months of sharing the same camp, months of saving one another from multiple deaths, and months of aiding one another overcome their own pasts don’t just disappear. You know what they shared. Being the most similar amongst your companions, forced under the influence of a power they did not want to be subjected to, you know they considered themselves friends, even if they never voiced it out loud.
You know that deep down, Shadowheart’s hatred for Astarion stems from her own feeling of betrayal when he tried to kill you. When he attempted to harm the only other person who guided her to a path outside of Shar.
“Trust me, I won’t feel guilty,” she finally forces out. “You’re a fool to trust him again.”
“I don’t trust him,” you reassure her, your hands finally reaching hers as they dim and eventually vanish all traces of magic. “But if he’s to die for nearly killing me, I want it to be under my hands. Don’t sully your own for my sake when you’ve just escaped all the bloodshed.”
Shadowheart’s brows soften, but her face turns cold. Thoughts seem to run through her mind like an endless train before she decides that thinking through each one is worth more than Astarion himself is worth. She inhales deeply and nods, allowing you to finally release her hands. She shoots the others one last glance before turning to retreat upstairs.
You’re left in a pitiful silence—one that nobody in the room dares to break.
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An entire day is spent with you wallowing in your shame, refusing to get out of bed.
You hope this is just a terrible nightmare, but you know better. If this were a nightmare, you’d already be dead.
You only climb out of your covers when you have to change the bandages on your wrist. It’s a painful process now since you don’t even want to look at the puncture wounds anymore, but it’s better than risking it to get infected. A knock on your door makes you stand from your bed, kicking the bandage rolls under your bed. “It’s open.”
You expect Gale or even Lae’zel, but you’re met with piercing red eyes. You contemplate begging him to leave you alone because looking at him right now only conjures up the guilt that’s been eating away at you for hours now. Instead, you build that wall between the two of you again, your face hardening. “What do you want?”
He’s never come to you willingly before. Not unless you were positively drenched in blood, and he had no choice but to follow his instincts for what he hopes to be a meal other than stale boar blood. Much less approached you in your own room.
Astarion lifts the empty glass bottle in his hand. “A charming welcome, as usual, I see.”
“You just had a full supply yesterday,” you say, brows furrowing. “I checked it myself.”
“Clearly, now I don’t,” he shrugs, and when you shoot him an intense glare, he frowns. “You can’t possibly blame me. I haven’t exerted myself as I did at that dirty tavern since the last time I had that damn parasite swimming around my head. So, unless you decide to offer yourself to me, again…”
You think he’s genuinely lost his mind. “Right now? Seriously? After what just happened yesterday, you want to ask me for blood?”
“Just a suggestion, darling. Otherwise, we always have the other option, as boring as it is.”
Perhaps you should just toss him to Lae’zel and call it a day.
Groaning in exasperation, you march past him, slapping a cloak into his chest. “There’s 15 minutes to sunset.”
He laughs, but it only makes your face turn sour.
The forest isn’t far off from the main square of Rivington. And by the time you reach it, the sun has long gone down, and you watch as Astarion takes off the hood of his cloak, breathing deeply in the moon's bask. And as he glances back at you, you don’t bother trying to walk side by side, remaining on guard and surveying his every move from three steps behind. He comments on it even though you think he doesn’t care for what you do. “I don’t bite, you know.”
“You’re not funny.” He snorts at your deadpan and continues into the deeper parts of the forest.
The entire time, your eyes remained glued to the backs of his heels, palms growing increasingly clammy as you become surrounded by nothing but the soft ambiance of the woods. His steps are as silent as they’ve always been, and it feels like following a ghost into the darkest parts of the forest. It’s becoming hard to see more than a few feet in front of you, and if your training with Lae’zel has taught you anything, you know that you don’t want to be at a disadvantage—especially when the other party is a bloody vampire.
You halt in your tracks. He does, too, turning to shoot you a questioning look. “What is it?”
“It’s too hard to see. We need to turn back.”
“Don’t tell me you’re afraid of a little bit of darkness.”
You scrunch your nose at this, and he merely grins. Before you can say anything, he’s back to pacing across the dirt without a care in the world—almost too fast for your liking. “Will you at least slow down?”
“Shall I hold your hand?”
“I’d rather cut it off.”
“A pity.”
You curse his long legs as the forest becomes darker and darker, even as each time you think it can’t possibly get worse than this. You swear his steps become quicker, and a part of you wonders if this is where he attempts to run away and whether you should cast a sleep spell before he succeeds. But the most rational part of you reminds yourself that he’s had plenty of chances to escape. Hells, he could do it even now, considering how much more easily his eyes adjust to the darkness than you.
“Astarion, I swear to the Gods above, if you don’t stop walking so quickly…”
This time, you don’t get an answer.
Suspicions rising, you break into a jog and then into a gradual sprint. Every time you think you finally caught up to him, a branch whips into your face, and you barely manage to swat it away before it manages to cut your skin. You call his name a few times to no avail, and you genuinely begin to ponder if you should’ve brought your scroll for daylight.
Finally, you stumble through a tall berry bush into what you assume to be another branch.
And rather than more darkness, you’re met with a clearing. It’s only a few long strides in width and a couple more in length, but here, it doesn’t seem like nighttime at all. The moon peers down at you in all its glory, and you think this might’ve been Selune’s pocket of the forest if she were here. You blink wide when a speck of light—a firefly—flies barely past your face. And suddenly, you’re surrounded by light rising from the green grass beneath you in fragile wings. 
The tightness in your chest dissipates, if only for a moment.
Only once you’ve taken in the vast difference of your surroundings just a few moments prior do you see Astarion pulling off the clasp of his cloak. He tosses it to you, and it lands on your face before you yank it away with a scowl. “You could have just handed it to me–”
“Stay here,” he says. “I’ll return when I’ve finished hunting.”
You gawk at him. “I’m not going to let you just leave.”
“I’ve proven myself plenty,” he scoffs. “If I remember correctly, you would’ve likely perished were I not there at that tavern a few days ago. And I must remind you that I do have quite the memory. If I planned on betraying you, I would’ve done it then—at a more fashionable time.”
You don’t have much of a rebuttal to that.
While you could bring up the dozens of other times he’s made questionable decisions pertaining to his loyalty, the soothing bath under the moon’s gaze seems to calm you down. So, instead of fighting the internal urge to continue your petty quips, you drop the cloak beneath you. He cocks a brow, surely expecting more of a protest, but you just swallow your pride, plopping down on the grass with a huff. “If you don’t return in 30 minutes, I’m coming to find you.”
“40 minutes,” he tries. “30 minutes isn’t nearly enough time for anything fun.”
You scowl. “20 minutes.”
Astarion smiles wickedly just enough for his fangs to peek beneath his top lip. “Very well. I’ll expect you no later than that.”
And like a predator fading into his natural environment, he vanishes into the darkness.
Time passes slowly when all you can do is pick at pieces of grass. As beautiful as the clearing is, it’s a bit too soothing—enough to make you doze off as you lean against the trunk of a tree. Though you attempt to keep your eyes open, reminding yourself you have a responsibility to uphold, you haven’t had this sense of relaxation in ages. Especially now, in your home with an atmosphere thicker than the butter you use on your bread. It’s almost like a spell as you feel your heavy eyelids droop helplessly.
You pray you don’t dream tonight. Not when you know all you’ll think of is the betrayal you inflicted on your companions.
A rustle of leaves snaps you back awake.
And when you look up, you see two blood-red eyes staring down at you from the branches of the tree opposite of yours.
They look exactly like the spawn in the alleyway, practically a month ago now. The same ones that haunt your nightmares and the same ones that morph into your ex-lover in the ones you despise the most. And while you can’t see their face, you don’t need much more than that to break into action.
Immediately, you’re snatching the cloak and sprinting back into the forest's darkness. You don’t care about the branches flinging themselves at you anymore because you can barely breathe even without worrying about them. Twigs and thin branches flail across your cheeks as you practically barrel through the woods, your legs feeling like they could give up if you were ever to stop running. With only the cloak in one hand and a dagger in the other, you don’t even attempt to fight whoever this person is upfront–you learned your lesson well the last time you tried. So, instead, your boots crunch against whatever plants are being crushed beneath you as you frantically run from the creature chasing you.
The worst part is you can still hear leaves rustling behind you.
Your lungs hurt. Your head hurts. Everything hurts, and yet you cannot stop. You hope the forest itself swallows you whole at this point, especially as you hear the movements getting closer and closer.
Tripping over a particularly large root, you fall through a bush, bracing for impact as you curse everyone you can think of for your luck. But rather than your shoulder crashing into a pile of dirt and twigs, you plant face-first into what feels like…cloth?
“Eager little thing, aren’t you? If you wanted to touch me, you could have just asked,” Astarion teases and you instantly tear yourself away, pushing your palms against his chest with wide eyes. And as much as you hate to admit it, a flood of relief hits you. And as much as it shouldn’t, meeting his gaze makes you able to breathe again.
Gods, what is wrong with you?
“There’s something chasing me,” you say hurriedly, pointing in the direction behind you. “I think it’s another spawn, I saw his eyes–”
His face stills when you practically jump at the bushes moving in ways the wind cannot will it to. Your arm flies to push him in front of you in case something were to leap out, and while you’re sure he’d complain dramatically about this gesture on any other occasion, he’s too busy worrying about what lies behind the bush. His hand shoots to what you assume to be that blasted comb he takes everywhere while you grip your knife, and you hear both your breaths hitch when something lunges out of the shrub.
It’s a small, puny squirrel.
Astarion doesn’t even try to stifle the laugh that escapes him as he throws his head back.
“I swear there was something following me!” you hiss, slapping his arm while the squirrel scurries away back to wherever it came from. He doesn’t stop, having little care about how your face flushes with embarrassment, and instead seems to revel in it. The bastard is enjoying this.
You wish you could throw the damn squirrel at his head.
“Oh, yes, I do believe there was,” he’s barely fazed while you continue glaring daggers at him. “I’m impressed you survived an encounter with such a terrifying foe, my dear.”
“It was definitely following me...” your voice trails off, and the bloodlust that had overwhelmed your lungs is fading away, leaving nothing but the sound of Astarion and his annoyingly loud laughter. 
He stops when there’s a shrill scream from across the forest. One that wails in what is unmistakenly of excruciating pain.
The two of you slowly turn to one another, and a knowing gleam flashes behind his eyes.
“Darling, the smart decision here would be to leave–”
But you’re already rushing toward whoever this victim is, forcing him to groan loudly and trail after you, snatching up your cloak from the ground in the process. You feel him close behind as you practically fly through the forest, with little care of how exhausted you were just moments before as the screams of pain seem to fuel your determination to lend aid. 
Astarion, although displeased, only grumbles as he continues to follow your lead. “Is it necessary to be heroic now of all times? In a dark forest where there’s sure to be animals twice our size?”
You ignore him.
A leaf slaps into your face as you finally reach what’s now been reduced to soft sobs. And you’re not sure what you were expecting, but it certainly wasn’t someone you knew.
“Berry?” you blink at the small girl, who you’re sure can barely even see you with how teary her eyes are. She watches you wearily before she gasps in recognition, and it’s then that you realize that her arm is bleeding.
“Tav!”
“You’re hurt,” you’re kneeling beside her in an instant, assessing her wounds as you reach to dig around your pockets in hopes of any medical supplies you might’ve left in there. “Did something attack you?”
“Yes,” she winces as you lift her arm to inspect it closer. “I’m not sure what it was, but it came out of nowhere, and they—-they tried to bite me.”
A lump forms in your throat. As twisted as it is, you're relieved you weren't actually imagining what you saw earlier. “Did you see if they had fangs? Did they look like a regular person?”
“I think so,” she replies in a hushed voice, wiping her tears. “I was so scared. I didn’t know what to do when it–”
A hand grabs her by the back of her cloak, yanking her in the air with her legs dangling helplessly as Astarion holds her just high enough to render attempts to kick at him useless. “I’d normally entertain tasteless tricks like this, but I’m in a less than forgiving mood, I’m afraid. You’ve cut into the time I have to fill my own stomach.”
You gasp, jumping to your feet. “Astarion, what the actual hells are you doing?”
“Trust me, you’ll thank me later, darling,” he sneers at the girl, hissing at him aimlessly. “Show them, you little imp.”
Having no idea what’s going on, you decide the best thing to do is de-escalate whatever misunderstanding he’s had about the poor girl tied to his hand. “You’ll hurt her. Just let her go and explain what’s going on.”
“Show them,” he pronounces each word harshly, glaring at Berry. 
And finally, she tries to bite at his hand. This prompts her to unhinge her jaw just enough for you to see the glint of sharp teeth. Ones that do not certainly belong to an innocent orphan.
Were you always this unlucky, or was the past month just a living hell for you?
“See what I mean? You can offer your thanks to me later, darling,” Astarion smiles proudly, and if you knew him any less than you did, you’d think he’s psychotic for smiling like that in this situation. But then, again, maybe he is. “How you seem to attract so many of us is beyond me, but I believe we should refrain from keeping this one alive.”
Your jaw drops. As much as you feel appalled that the innocent girl you’ve been soothing over the death of her adoptive father for the past few weeks turned out to be one of the very creatures that nearly took your life (on multiple occasions), you can’t fathom the idea of just ridding of her. She’s still a kid—at least, to the naked eye. “Are you insane? No, we’re not killing her!”
“Gods, please don’t tell me you’ll try and make this brat see sense. She’s practically feral! Look at her!” he grits through his teeth, waving his free hand to the girl in question, who’s too busy trying to snap her teeth at him. “This thing doesn’t deserve your sympathy right now.”
Berry manages to catch the tip of his finger in her teeth, and Astarion lets out a string of curses as he drops her to the dirt. It doesn’t even take another second for her to lunge toward you, fangs bared and claws ready to sink into your flesh. You barely manage to swerve out of the way, her sharp nail grazing past your cheek.
“Berry, just listen to me! I don’t want to hurt you!” you practically yell, but she only stumbles on the ground a moment before rushing at you again. You reach for your dagger, fearing you may have to use it on a child until she’s snatched into the air again.
This time, Astarion hangs her by the cloak onto a tree branch, where she screams and grasps at the air, practically throwing a tantrum.
You gawk in utter disbelief; too many things are happening simultaneously.
And Astarion doesn’t help as he slips out the damn comb again, grinning from ear to ear. You notice that this time, he seems to have taken the time to sharpen the tips of the teeth, which nearly look akin to a row of needles. 
He holds the comb in Berry’s direction. “Well? Shall I do the honors?”
As you watch him threaten a child who also happens to be a vampire, you ponder that maybe you should have just handed him over to Dalyria when you had the chance.
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world-of-wales · 4 days ago
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THE PRINCE OF WALES HAS GIVEN AN INTERVIEW AT THE END OF HIS OFFICIAL VISIT TO SOUTH AFRICA.
During the candid and emotional interview he admitted how the past few months had been ‘brutal’ due to the health scares The Princess of Wales and King Charles went through :
‘Honestly? It’s been dreadful. It’s probably been the hardest year in my life. So, trying to get through everything else and keep everything on track has been really difficult. But I’m so proud of my wife, I’m proud of my father, for handling the things that they have done. But from a personal family point of view, it’s been, yeah, it’s been brutal.’
Speaking about the Princess of Wales he said that :
‘She’s doing well. Doing well.’
Speaking about what it meant to host the awards in Africa, a continent he connects very deeply to as he spent time there following his mother's passing and it is the place he proposed to The Princess of Wales as well, he said :
'Hearing the Circle of Life. I don’t know about everyone else, but hearing the Lion King and things like that gets me quite emotional, So, when they started singing and I saw the clips from the top of Table Mountain and we were all there and it’s happened. I did feel quite emotional.'
He then spoke about his children watching the awards saying :
'I don’t know yet. I haven’t clocked in with them yet but I hope they did.'
William added of his relaxed demeanour in Cape Town this week :
'It’s interesting you say that ’cause I couldn’t be less relaxed this year, so it’s very interesting you’re all seeing that. But it’s more a case of just crack on and you’ve got to keep going. I enjoy my work and I enjoy pacing myself and keeping sure I have got time for my family too.'
He also spoke about his family's opinions on his beard :
'Well Charlotte didn’t like it the first time. I got floods of tears the first time I grew a beard, so I had to shave it off. And then I grew it back. I thought, hang on a second and I convinced her it was going to be okay'
He also spoke about his new role as the Prince of Wales and how he intends to 'royal' in a different way than his grandmother and father before him :
‘You mention the added responsibility and the freedom in the same sentence,’ he laughed. It’s a tricky one. Do I like more responsibility? No. Do I like the freedom that I can build something like Earthshot then yes. And that’s the future for me. It’s very important with my role and my platform, that I’m doing something for good. That I’m helping people’s lives and I’m doing something that is genuinely meaningful.’
William spoke about the BTS work that goes into setting up huge events like Earthshot successfully :
‘So, the Earthshot is a culmination if you like of all that put together. But it takes a lot of work, and there’s a lot of unseen stuff that goes on, a lot of meetings, a lot of people coming in, a lot of chatting and phone calls, letters, all trying to sort of make the Earthshot get to being the best possible entity it can be'
He talked about his frustrations over reluctance as well as more involvement from buisness & governments saying :
‘I’d like it to be more a team sport. And so, when you go and approach people...business...or even government...and say, listen, we’re building this incredible thing. Please come on board. Some people are extremely fast and keen to it. Others take a little bit longer and it’s those people who take a little bit longer, I’m like, guys, we just don’t have the time.'
'So, yes, I get a bit frustrated that it takes a long time to convince people that this is worthy of their attention. But I guess that’s the nature of a global environment prize, you start from scratch and it’s going to take a bit of time.'
On his hope for the solutions & the impact and his message to those who can invest, he said :
'So you guys have seen for yourselves the scale of the solutions. I mean, they cover all sectors in all walks of life. Brilliant people, some barely started, some been a bit more established and have a bit more money. But overall all doing fantastic work in the same direction. I think the key thing for us is how do we translate that into more impact, more scale, and ultimately, greater progress in tackling environmental challenges.’
On his hope for more involvement, ‘I definitely think so. We’re giving this amazing platform to all of them. And really it’s an amazing platform for business to come in and poach what they want. But if we keep waiting....we’re going to keep eating into time that we just don’t have. And so my message to business really is: hurry up and be courageous. Invest faster because we just don’t have that time.’
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lucy90712 · 10 months ago
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hii
pls could write a Jude Bellingham x reader YN is Jobes best friend since they were like 5 and YN moved next door, she always had a crush on Jude and everyone could tell but he always turned her down and then he sees her tryna move on and he’s like what’d u think ur doing
WC: 2.8k Ever since I was born pretty much I've known the Bellinghams. When I was born Jude was a little over a year old and then Jobe was born about a year after that. Our parents were friends before any of us were born and they lived just down the road from each other so all of us have been around each other pretty much from the day we were born. As we grew up I only became closer with both Jude and Jobe but as we've gotten older I have gotten closer to Jobe as he's around more and I just feel like I have more in common with him than I do with Jude as he's older so he can always do things before we can. 
One of the other reasons I think I'm not as close with Jude is because I've had a crush on him for a while, when he moved away to go and play in Germany my feelings for him started to change. It seemed like he became a man all of a sudden, he wasn't the Jude I used to know from when we were in our early teens he was different, all of a sudden he was the most attractive man I'd ever seen. Whenever he came home all I could do was admire him and the muscles he'd clearly been working hard to get as well as his face which just seemed so perfect. It was obvious to everyone that I has a crush on Jude even Jobe made fun of me a few times for fawning over his brother. There came a time when Jude sat me down and tried letting me down gently saying that he thought we were better off as friends which hurt a hell of a lot at the time but I've since got over that disappointment. 
Sadly I never got over my feelings for Jude instead I just distracted myself with other guys who were nowhere near as good as Jude and honestly half of them I didn't even really like but it was only a bit of harmless flirting I never went any further as I just didn't want to. I know one day I'll meet a guy I love as much if not more than Jude and then I'll be happier than I am now pining over a guy that doesn't even like me back. It's been a while since I've seen Jude as he's been so busy with the end of the season which has actually helped me quite a lot as not seeing him and trying not to pay much attention to things he posts has kept him out my mind. All of this has been on purpose too as my birthday is today and I didn't want to only be thinking about Jude on my birthday. 
With it being my 18th birthday all my friends have convinced me to go out clubbing with them. They've all turned 18 already and have been out quite a few times and they want me to join them. There has been times they've tried to convince me to get a fake id but I refused as I'm not bothered about going out plus it wouldn't work anyway as quite a few people here know who I am because of my friendship with Jude and Jobe so I never bothered. Sadly Jobe can't come and enjoy my birthday with me as he's not 18 yet but I promised I'd spend the rest of the day with him as he said he didn't want to not see me on my birthday. We've spent all of our past birthdays together and I couldn't be the one to ruin that tradition plus I think I'll enjoy spending the day with Jobe more than I will then going out. 
~~~~~~~~~~
As it's my birthday I wanted to sleep in for a bit longer than I usually would but that didn't happen as the sound of my phone notifications woke me up. When I looked at it my home screen was flooded with notifications of texts and Instagram posts from my friends. I answered a few texts before there was a knock on my bedroom door and my mum came in with breakfast for me which she'd spent her morning making. She had to go to work but she promised that she'd give me my presents later before I go out which didn't bother me as I don't need any presents I just want to enjoy my birthday. 
Once my mum had left I went back to looking at my phone and replying to people, at some point I went on Instagram and saw that Jude had tagged me on his story and I don't think I've ever clicked on a notification so quickly. He had posted a picture of the two of us from when we were younger covered in mud from where we'd been playing outside in the rain with a caption wishing me a happy birthday. It made me feel all warm inside that he bothered to post something instead of just texting me as he doesn't post much that isn't to do with football. 
After I'd caught up on my notifications I got myself out of bed and got ready so I could go and see Jobe. He wanted me to go to his so I text him just before I left the house so he'd be expecting me. Seeing as its only a few minutes down the road I was happy to walk plus it's such a nice day that I wanted to get outside and soak up the sun even if it's only for a few minutes. When I arrived I didn't even get the chance to knock on the door before it swung open and Jobe tackled me straight into a hug. Jobe has always been like this with me we are just so close that we are always excited when we get to spend time together especially on special days like birthdays. Eventually he let go of me and allowed me inside but he quickly covered my eyes as he said he had a surprise waiting for me in the living room. I was a bit nervous as you never know what a Jobe surprise will be but I had a bit of faith that he wouldn't do anything I'd hate on my birthday. 
It felt like we walked forever but eventually we stopped and Jobe instructed me to open my eyes. It took a second for my eyes to adjust but when they did the first thing I saw was a smiling Jude sat on the sofa. If it were possible my jaw would've hit the floor as Jude wasn't supposed to be home he was supposed to still be in Germany for another week but there he was and I definitely wasn't seeing things. 
"Happy birthday y/n/n" Jude said 
"What are you doing here I thought you still had to be in Germany" I questioned 
"You didn't think I'd miss your 18th did you plus I may have lied to be able to surprise you" he said 
"I'm so happy you're here it's been ages since I've seen you" I said 
He got up and gave me a hug before ushering me to sit down while him and Jobe ran off somewhere. They came back a minute later holding far too many presents which they piled on my lap so that I couldn't move anymore. I tried telling them off for getting me so many unnecessary presents but they insisted that it was necessary as in their words you only turn 18 once. Seeing as they were both so excited about it I opened the presents in whatever order they agreed on which did involve a bit of arguing but we got there in the end. They got me so many nice things that made me feel so loved but also a bit bad as I could never afford to do the same for them. 
"Thank you guys so much I really appreciate everything but you shouldn't have gotten me so much I'll never be able to top or even match that" I said 
"It's ok we don't need you to do anything for us we just love having you around" Jobe said 
"Aww you're going to make my cry" I said 
"Don't cry instead tell me what you've got planned for today" Jude said 
"Well first I'm hanging out with you guys but then my friends convinced me to go out tonight" I said 
"Is it just you and your friends going?" Jude asked 
"Yeah me and I think 3 of the girls the rest can't make it" I said 
"Well I'm coming with you whether you like it or not I'm not letting you go out for the first time without someone to keep you safe" he said super seriously 
"I'll be fine Jude I won't even drink that much" I said 
"I don't care it's not safe for you to be going out with just a few of your friends I promise I'll leave you be I just can't let you go alone" he said 
"Fine you can come but be prepared the girls will go crazy" I laughed 
~~~~~~~~~~
I spent the rest of the day with Jude and Jobe just hanging out like we used to do all the time when we were a bit younger. They even got me a cake which they definitely aren't supposed to eat with their diet but they did and made me promise not to tell anyone. A bit later I had to leave to get ready but not before Jude cornered me to make me promise to text him when I was ready to go and he'd come over so we could go together. I was still anxious about him coming as for one I don't want to get drunk and say something stupid to him but also I didn't want him to be on my mind all night. Tonight was supposed to be the night I get to let go and enjoy myself and maybe find a guy I like to flirt with but I feel like I can't do that with Jude around as my mind will be on him the entire time. I appreciate his concern about me going out but I can handle myself and I'd be fine without him. That being said it's been a long time since I've really spent any time with him so it will be nice to have Jude there. 
Once I was home and getting ready I was texting my friends to get their opinion on my outfit as I don't really know what to wear out. They helped me get it down to two options but once I told them Jude was coming they picked the shorter tighter dress straight away as they know I like Jude so I guess they are being good friends. Seeing as they picked a nice dress I decided to go all out on my hair and makeup too and if I do say so myself I looked pretty good. After I'd done a few touch ups I text Jude to let him know I was ready and headed downstairs to put my shoes on as I knew he'd be a few minutes. 
Jude arrived and honked the horn of his car to get me to go outside (let's just pretend he can drive) so I made my way to the car slowly trying to not fall over with my heels on the gravel of the driveway. Jude must've noticed my struggle as he got out the car and helped me into the passenger side of the car. 
"You look beautiful" he said 
"Thank you" I said feeling my cheeks turn pink 
"You know you don't have to drive if you want to drink we can get an Uber" I said 
"No it's ok I won't drink I'm only going to make sure you and you're friends are ok" he said 
"They're all really excited that your coming I think they might spend more time with you than they will with me" I laughed 
"I won't let them you'll barely notice I'm there" he smiled 
We arrived at the club and true to his word Jude disappeared as soon as I was with my friends although he did instruct me to put any drinks I had on a tab he'd make for me as he didn't want to me pay for anything on my birthday. He'd gone before I could argue with him so I didn't bother I just did exactly what he told me to and got myself a drink before heading to dance with my friends. As I was dancing my friends told me that there was a guy who wouldn't stop staring at me so I managed to sneak a glance in his direction and he was actually really cute. He noticed me looking at him and shot me a smile before making his way over. 
Straight away he complimented me but not just on my outfit which made me let down my guard a little bit as I could tell he was genuinely interested in me. Once he found out it was my birthday he wished me a happy birthday and offered to buy me a drink which I was happy to accept. As we both sipped on our drinks we started properly talking and we just got on like a house on fire. We actually had a few things in common and he was such a nice guy that it was hard not to get along with him. Once we finished our drinks he took me back to the dance floor and we danced together. To begin with he didn't have his hands on me but I grabbed his arms and put his hands on my waist as I was feeling little more confident than usual. 
I was really enjoying myself dancing and laughing with this guy my mind was only thinking about him and not about Jude at all. It's been so long since I've thought about any guy in front of me and not compared him to Jude, it was honestly so nice to have finally found a guy that made me forget about Jude and that clearly had the same feelings that I did. My enjoyment was short lived though as not long after I felt someone grab my arm and pull me away, I was about to punch the person until I got a look at them and realised it was Jude and honestly I still kind of wanted to punch him as he was supposed to leave me be and I was actually enjoying myself. 
He dragged me all the way out of the club and back to the car which is when he finally let go of his grip on my arm and I just stared at him. Neither of us moved nor said anything for a good few moments until I decided I wanted to go back in if he wasn't going to talk but as soon as I turned around he grabbed my arm again and brought me back to face him. Again the staring ensued and I was really starting to get annoyed. 
"What's going on Jude if you aren't going to say anything let me go I was enjoying my time with that guy" I said 
"I can't let you go back in" he said hastily 
"Tell me why then as I'm not going to stand here forever" I said 
"Because I'm jealous ok I don't know why but seeing you with that guy made me realise that I've been lying to myself for a long time I do have feelings for you I've just been trying to tell myself I don't as I don't want to ruin our friendship" he admitted 
"What you have feelings for me?" I questioned in complete disbelief 
"Yeah I do I know that I made it seem like I didn't see you that way but I have had feelings for a while I just didn't want to change things between us or make things awkward with you and Jobe as I know how close you both are but I can't keep lying I want to be with you y/n" he said 
"I think it's pretty clear that I still have feelings for you and I really want to give us a go I know it will be different but let's be honest Jobe’s been wishing we'd get together for ages so I'm sure everything will be ok" I said 
"Then will you be my girlfriend officially?" He asked 
"I would love to" I smiled 
"Now let's go and have some proper fun" he said taking my hand to lead me back inside 
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sluttywonwoo · 1 year ago
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instead of you [part thirty-one] || l.mh
pairing: [best friend’s brother] lee minho x college!reader ft. han jisung
summary: you didn’t expect to spend your summer pretending to be your best friend’s girlfriend- then again, you didn’t expect to fall for your best friend’s brother, either. 
warnings: swearing, smut (mdni)
word count: 2.3k
a/n: revamped my tom holland series from my main blog ( @wazzupmrstark ) to try and motivate myself to finish it!!
series masterlist | early access to the next chapter on ko-fi
additional smut warnings: edging, orgasm denial, spanking, protected sex
It was in fact, not the last time you would sleep with Minho. Despite saying so, you continued to sneak into his room every night after Jisung fell asleep. You’d fuck, sometimes twice, and then go back to the room you shared with your best friend like nothing happened. To say that the guilt was eating you alive would be an understatement. But for whatever reason, you didn’t stop. 
All it would take was a single look from Minho, a glimpse of him shirtless in the pool, a smirk directed at you, and you’d decide you needed him. You were so weak when it came to him. It was pathetic.
Minho always let you do the initiating when it came to sex. He never pushed, but he didn’t exactly try to deter you either. At first, you convinced yourself that it was just because he was like every other twenty-something-year-old guy: always horny. Never one to turn down getting laid when the opportunity presented itself. But every time you hooked up, you’d notice things that seemed to suggest otherwise. 
Like how he always put your pleasure first. That could simply be attributed to him being a good lover, but it felt different. It wasn’t like he was trying to get you to cum as fast as possible so that he wouldn’t have to worry about it when it was his turn. No, he took his time with it, wanted to make it last because he genuinely enjoyed making you feel good. It seemed like each time you had sex he was trying to make you cum more times than the last. And then afterward, when you were both still catching your breath, he’d hold your hand, play with your hair, coax you into staying five extra minutes, things that friends with benefits don’t do. 
You’d be a fool to fall for him. But it was far too late for that. You had wanted him before you ever slept together. Before he kissed you for the first time. And now that you’d had him, you didn’t want to go back. 
You can tell Minho feels guilty too. You see it in the way he looks at Jisung when his back is turned. He’s less vocal about it than you but you know it’s there. 
-
The second to last day in Bali is spent hiking. Your foot had mostly healed by then, but the news was still devastating to you. 
“Do you ever read the itinerary?” Jisung groaned upon hearing your complaints. 
“I like being surprised.”
“That’s a fucking lie,” he said, calling your bluff. “You’re just lazy.”
You gasped and held your hand to your heart, feigning offense. Jisung rolled his eyes at you. 
“Come on, get up, get dressed. It’s matching t-shirt day.”
“Nooo, I forgot about that.”
“You only have to do it one more time after this,” he reminded you. 
Only one more time. That’s right... there was only one more stop on the trip before you all flew back to Seoul and spent the last two weeks of summer there. You expected to feel relief but you were filled with anxiety instead. You couldn’t pinpoint the reason as to why but you suspected it had to do with the whole fucking your best friend’s brother behind his back thing. 
“You still with me?” Jisung asked. “Did you zone out?”
“Yeah, sorry.”
“S’alright. We better start getting ready, though.”
You nodded absentmindedly and made your way over to your suitcase to grab a change of clothes. You were moving on autopilot, not even aware of what you were doing until suddenly you were fully dressed and ready, sitting between Felix and Minho at the kitchen bar as Jisung blended up a smoothie for the four of you. 
You couldn’t remember brushing your teeth or putting on sunscreen but your mouth tasted minty and your skin was sticky from the lotion. 
Minho nudged your elbow. “You okay?” he asked. 
“Fine.”
Jisung glanced at his older brother and then you, sliding your smoothies across the counter wordlessly. 
“Thank you,” you practically whispered as you accepted yours.
Did he know? No, if he knew he certainly wouldn’t be speaking to either of you. But did he suspect? It wasn’t like you and Minho were being that careful... he could have easily picked up on what was going on. 
You tried taking a sip of your smoothie but it wasn’t melted enough to go through the straw. 
“Here,” Jisung said, leaning over the bar to stick a spoon in your cup. 
“Thanks, babe.”
He winked at you. “No problem.”
Okay, so maybe he didn’t know and was just annoyed with Minho. That could also be an explanation. 
Jisung’s parents assured you that the hike was an easy one but you were still skeptical. Hiking in general was an activity you preferred not to partake in, regardless of the level of difficulty. 
You liked getting out and going places... that were inside.. with air conditioning. Hiking, kayaking, cycling, all on the list of no’s for you. You were simply not an outdoorsy person. You’d much rather go to a tasting at a local brewery or sit through a play in a language you didn’t understand. To be fair, the trip had a good balance of both, so you couldn’t complain too much. The Hans, on the other hand, were outdoorsy people so you should have seen it coming anyway.
Getting to Campuhan Ridge required a short bus ride over to the site for the walk. You sat on Jisung’s lap since it was so crowded, listening to him argue with Felix about fruit. 
“They are good for you!” Jisung cried in exasperation.
“All I’m saying is that that much sugar can’t be healthy.”
“It’s naturally made sugar- I’m the one in culinary school here! I know what I’m talking about!”
The hike turned out to be relatively easy, as Nikki and Dom had claimed it to be. It wasn’t too high up either. Views of rice terraces and forests stretched on for miles in each direction, greenery as far as the eye can see. 
The only downfall was how hot it was. You were sweating not even ten minutes in and the baseball cap you were wearing did nothing to block out the sun. 
You stopped somewhere in the middle of the walk to take some pictures. It had been Nikki’s idea since she’d brought her Nikon along with her, but Jisung also asked Minho to take a couple pictures of just the two of you while Felix did the same thing for their parents. 
You wrapped both of your arms around Jisung and smiled as wide as you could manage. Jisung smiled too, squeezing your hip. 
“Okay, now do something different,” Minho directed. “The smiling is boring.”
You shrugged and raised yourself on your tiptoes to kiss Jisung’s cheek. “O-okay that’s good too,” Minho muttered. 
Jisung chuckled quietly, his body vibrating beneath your lips. It made you lose your balance but your best friend caught you before you could stumble.
“Woah, you alright there, y/n?” Dom called as he, Nikki, and Felix rejoined the three of you. 
You clung to Jisung and laughed. “Yes, thanks to him!”
“It seems like I’m always catching her,” he sighed. “Where would you be without me?”
“Dead, probably.”
His mother smiled fondly at your little display and you patted yourself on the back internally. You still had a role to play, after all. 
The sun had drained everyone so you headed back to the resort early. Felix and Minho went to pick up some take-out food while the rest of you showered off the day and waited for them to return. 
After dinner, you ended up in Minho’s bed again. It was routine at this point. Pretend like you’re going to bed with everyone else, wait for Jisung to fall asleep, wait fifteen more minutes to make sure he’s really out, and then sneak off to Minho’s room. His room was all the way on the other side of the treehouse thing you were staying in which was both fortunate and unfortunate. It was fortunate because it wasn’t close to Jisung where you might accidentally wake him up, but it was unfortunate because it meant you had to walk through the entire place in the dark to get to it. 
“Took you long enough,” Minho had grumbled when you showed up. 
“Aw did you miss me that much?” you teased. 
Apparently, he wasn’t in the mood to take his time with you because in a matter of minutes he had you pressed face down on the mattress as he fucked you from behind, holding on to your hips so tightly you thought he might leave bruises in the shape of fingerprints. 
It was a position the two of you hadn’t tried together yet but you were already loving it. Minho could go faster and deeper than when he was fucking you in missionary and it had you on the edge in record time. Except he wasn’t letting you cum.  
For whatever reason, every time you warned him that you were close, he would slow down or come to a complete stop, waiting until the feeling had passed to start again. He even held you in place so that you couldn’t fuck yourself back on his cock and finish yourself off- he’d learned to do that after you’d tried to do it the first time he denied your orgasm. 
“You’re so mean!” you sobbed, tears pricking the corners of your eyes. He’d stopped again, ironically rubbing your back soothingly as the pleasure ebbed away for the umpteenth time.  
Minho just laughed and pulled you up by your hair so that he could look at your face. “No, I’m not.”
“Yes you are! I need to cum and you won’t let me!”
“That’s your fault for telling me you like to be edged.”
God damn your big mouth. You didn’t even remember telling him that but you didn’t doubt that you had because it was true. You did like being edged but this was torture. 
“Don’t listen to past me! Listen to present me!” you begged. 
“Nice try.”
“Fuck!” 
He started moving again but slowly. It wasn’t enough to make you cum but it did make you even needier. You gripped the bed sheets as he thrust into you over and over again, trying in vain to get him to go faster.
“Always so fucking wet for me,” Minho hissed, slapping your ass lightly. You yelped in surprise. “Shh, baby.”
“I’m trying!” you whispered.
“Try. Harder. Then.”
You wanted to quip back but the words died on your lips as you felt the coil in your stomach tightening again. You didn’t tell Minho this time, hoping that he wouldn’t notice. He did, of course. Your pussy was fluttering like crazy around him and you weren’t able to control it. 
Minho stopped completely, this time snaking an arm under your body so that he could pull you up on his lap. You cursed under your breath at the change in angle. 
“You were about to cum without saying anything, weren’t you? Fucking brat.”
“I forgot?” you mumbled. 
He scoffed in disbelief. “You’re really testing my patience, you know that?”
“I guess it’s a good thing it turns you on then.”
Minho let out a sound of annoyance and brought his free hand down to your cunt so that he could rub your clit. The smirk fell from your face immediately. 
And then he started moving his hips, just enough so that your g-spot and your clit were being stimulated at the same time. 
You whimpered out that you were close when you felt your orgasm approaching again, which seemed to please Minho. But he wasn’t going to let you off that easy. 
“You want to cum? Beg for it.”
“Please, Minho! Please let me cum, I’ll be good, I promise!”
You didn’t hear what he said next because your ears were ringing from the intensity of your climax. You were vaguely aware of him cumming right after you but you didn’t register much aside from his body going tense underneath yours. You rode out your orgasm until the spots in your vision subsided and your legs stopped shaking, flopping onto the bed like a ragdoll. 
Minho was quick to lay down beside you, having recovered from his orgasm much faster than you had. 
“That wasn’t too much, was it?”
You shook your head. “It was perfect. I don’t think I’ve ever cum that hard in my life. Not even by myself.”
You probably shouldn’t be feeding into his ego so much, but considering how good he was in bed it was at least a little deserved. 
He grinned proudly and rolled onto his side to kiss you. “I’m glad.”
-
You took another shower before going back to bed. That had become another part of your routine since you started sleeping with Minho regularly. You’d take a shower before dinner for the sake of appearances, and then you’d take a second shower after messing around with Minho. There was no way you could just hop back into bed with Jisung all sweaty and gross. It would be a dead giveaway, not to mention disgusting. 
The second shower always made you feel dirtier than it did clean. It felt like you were washing off the evidence not only literally, but figuratively too. You supposed that was to be expected, though. What wasn’t to be expected, however, was your best friend waiting outside of the bathroom for you when you got out of the shower. 
You jumped when you heard his voice, nearly knocking your head against the wall. Your eyes had yet to adjust so it was hard to see him but he was there, arms crossed over his chest defensively. You already knew what he was going to say before he said it but the question made your blood run cold nonetheless. 
“Is there something going on between you and Minho?”
sorry for skipping out on the taglist again- I'm babysitting tn so I'm posting from my laptop (lmk what you think though i always appreciate feedback!!)
add yourself to the taglist here!
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stop-talking · 8 months ago
Note
I love your work so much! While I wait for your updates (take your time), what other fics do you like and recommend?
Fanfic Recommendations
Okay, so, you didn't specify if you're looking for fluff or smut... or what character... So I'm just going to share All of my favorites. I'm being vulnerable here. Don't judge me.
Mike Schmidt
Cherries & Cream (18+)
"It's a modest holiday. Spent indoors, soft music on the cassette player... oh, and a collection of bad ideas snowballed into a day of sticky situations." - @sameschmidtdiffname
What's One More? (18+)
"The house is all to you and Mike, which is a strange feeling to Mike as he begins to realize how things are changing. But change isn't always a bad thing, is it?" - @sameschmidtdiffname
Josh Futturman
Spilled Drinks (18+)
(Josh is undercover as a slutty ass waiter for a mission, he eventually loses sight of the goal and begs you to fuck him while he's still wearing the lingerie.) - @xcherryerim
Solo Round (18+)
"Josh is sick of meaningless charging, but instead of asking out the pretty, new game store cashier, he decides to take matters into his own hands. again." - @futureman
Could I Pay You... Another Way? ;) (18+)
"You guys know those memes where it's like the delivery driver aggressively shutting down someone's attempt to turn the pizza delivery into some porno? Like "looks like I don't have any money..." "Why the hell did you order a pizza then?" Anyways that's so Josh but he doesn't even realize that the person is trying to fuck him he's just genuinely confused." - @ronniehutch
Good Boy (18+)
"inexperienced virgin failure josh futturman asks the reader over for some 'video games'." @joshfutturman
Derek Danforth
Tangled
"The holidays are a miserable time of year, especially when ones mother won't even talk to them to let them know she's not coming, sending Derek into a breakdown and wrapping you up in the process." - @sameschmidtdiffname
Old Money, New Money (18+)
"Her stepfather, Bruce, who only married her grieving mother so he could swindle them of their money, works with Derek Danforth, billionaire son of the President and grade-A asshole. Bruce roped her into going to a company party, where she ends up running into the man himself, Derek. She decides to just hit it, convince him to fire Bruce, and quit it. However, her plan doesn't go as intended when she finds out that Derek isn't all that he seems." - @ronniehutch
Clapton Davis
Movement of A Major (Cool Guy)
Who would've known that breaking your arm is the best thing that could've happened to you? - @ronniehutch
Billy
Smoking while you ride him (18+)
(exactly what it sounds like) - @joshhutchersonsgf
Peeta Mellark
those eyes, that mouth (slightly suggestive)
"Peeta bakes you cinnamon rolls but can’t fight the urge to feed you…" - @sleepyhutcherson
For the record I only started actually using tumblr and reading fanfics a few weeks ago. I read like every jhutch fanfic available in just a few days, so it's all kind of a blur. I might have forgotten a few I really liked... sorry!! Also I didn't include anything with an unfinished story.
P.S if a summary is in "quotations" I ripped it directly from the author, and if it's in (parenthesis) I wrote it myself because they didn't have one.
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justagalwhowrites · 1 year ago
Text
New in Town - Ch. 4: First Cookout
Sarah invites you to Joel's place to celebrate the last night she's in town. A continuation of New in Town chapters 1-3 found on Tumblr here.
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Pairing: Best Friend's Dad!Joel Miller x Female Reader
CW: Smut. Because obviously smut. It's these two, they fuck. No use of Y/N. Age gap (reader is 35 Joel is 47, not a focus of the fic). Minors DNI, 18+ only
Length: 5.8k
AO3 | First Chapter | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter
“And this is going to be your desk,” you smiled, excited but keeping your voice down. Sarah made a quiet squeal back at you. “See, I can see you from my desk so you can make faces at me while I’m dealing with the boring accounts people. I’m manifesting it, I swear I am.” 
“I’m seriously about to make a fucking moodboard if it��ll help,” she sat on the desk, her legs dangling over the edge. “I miss Austin. I didn’t think I’d miss it this much but I really do. Seattle was way more fun when you were there, now all I do is try to convince myself that my job is totally worth the 500 days of rain we get every year.”
You laughed.
“Something tells me it’s not quite that many.” 
“Feels like that many,” she rolled her eyes. “Now please. I need BBQ.” 
You shook your head and laughed before heading to the elevators to go to lunch with your best friend. 
Joel had texted you a warning with his usual good morning text that day. 
“Good morning, Beautiful,” he wrote. “Really miss feeling you right before I fall asleep. Please tell me you’re not busy tomorrow night. Heads up, expect Sarah to drop in on you today. I have to be at a site for a few hours and she mentioned stopping by your office. She’ll probably invite you to the cookout we’re having tonight - up to you if you want to come.” 
You frowned when you read it. “Up to you if you want to come.” What the fuck did that mean? 
“Miss feeling you too,” you added a heart emoji. “Only plans I have for tomorrow night involve you ripping my clothes off.” 
You rapped your nails against your phone, waiting to see if he’d text back before you started getting ready for the day but he didn’t. You sighed. He probably had to be on site early and couldn’t use his phone. 
“Goddammit,” you muttered, putting your face in your pillow and groaning. How were you supposed to navigate this? 
Did Joel want you to come but was trying to keep the pressure off? Did he not want you anywhere near him when Sarah was in town? 
Yes, he’d spent a fair bit of time fucking your brains out over the past few weeks but, in reality, he wasn’t anything to you. He was a guy you’d gone out with once, he wasn’t your boyfriend, he didn’t have to invite you over for anything let alone something that might make him feel uncomfortable because you were friends with his kid. Even though, to you, he felt like so much more than some guy you were fucking. So, so much more. 
And also your best friend’s dad. 
Because fate was a cruel, cruel thing. 
You checked your phone every few minutes as you got ready for work but the messages sat on delivered. You sighed and resisted the urge to text again and just kept checking your phone every few minutes in your office, too. 
“Wouldn’t argue with some help in the clothing removal department,” he wrote. “I’m going to want you naked fast. Requesting something with easy access so I can get inside you ASAP.” 
You smiled and shook your head a little. 
“Still warm enough for a sundress,” you sent a winky face emoji with that and briefly considered going to the bathroom to take a selfie that involved an unprofessional amount of cleavage. 
“Jesus Christ,” he sent back. “Pull me in a restroom wearing one of those and we’re not stopping at you humping my leg.” 
“Counting on it,” you wrote, smiling a little wider before deciding to just bite the bullet. “Did you want me to go tonight? If Sarah asks?” 
“What’s go you smiling so big?” 
You almost jumped out of your skin when you saw Sarah leaning against the doorframe to your office. 
“Good lord, girl, we gotta put a bell on you,” you smiled anyway, being sure to lock your phone before getting up to hug her. “What are you doing here?” 
“My dad had some client issue so I figure I’d come visit my bestie,” she gave you a squeeze before stepping back from you. “Plus I’m dying to see where I’m going to commute to every day once they finally let me come here.” 
Sarah picked the restaurant, a BBQ place that wasn’t far from your office and only offered wooden picnic tables sitting under a rusted metal awning for seating. 
“Oh this is going to be good shit,” you said, taking a deep breath, the smell of smoked meat heavy on the air. “I can tell.” 
“Knew you’d love this place,” she smiled. “Kind of surprised my dad hasn’t taken you here already, actually.” 
You froze for half a second before regaining your composure. 
“We’ve only gone out the one time since the first time we met up,” you shrugged. “Can’t exactly show me the entire city in that time.” 
The two of you got in line, the place starting to get crowded now that it was pushing noon. 
“I know,” she rolled her eyes. “I just really thought you guys would hit it off I guess.” 
Well you’d definitely done that. 
“Does it really bother you that I’m not hitting the town with your dad more?” You asked, teasing. 
“Kind of, actually,” she laughed. “You know those stupid TV episodes they do where the cast of one show goes on another show?” 
“The crossover ones?” You frowned.” 
“Right,” she nodded. The line moved and the two of you stepped forward. “This was like… my real life crossover episode and it just kinda flopped. Like my two favorite characters finally were in the same place and just didn’t have the chemistry for good TV.” 
Yeah, chemistry? Not your issue with Joel. 
“I’ll be sure to lodge your complaint with the writers,” you said dryly. “Tell them to get their shit together.” 
You talked Sarah into ordering the meats you didn’t so you could try at least a bite of everything and you were almost uncomfortably full when you dropped your final wet napkin on the butcher paper covered tray in front of you. 
“Oh, hey, meant to ask you before,” she said, polishing off her Dr. Pepper. “Did you have any plans tonight? My dad caved and is grilling out. My Uncle Tommy is coming over, his wife Maria, a few neighbors who have known me since I was in diapers and who can tell you every embarrassing thing I’ve ever done…” 
“I don’t think they can tell me about the time you got drunk at karaoke night and tried to take the mic from that guy who was making an ass of himself,” you smirked. 
Sarah groaned, throwing her head back and laughing.
“Oh my God, I forgot about that!”
You laughed, too, and took a second to check your phone to see if Joel had gotten back to you. 
He had. 
“Love for you to come,” he wrote. “Just going to be hell keeping my hands to myself all night. But would rather do that than not see you.” 
You smiled a little and put your phone down. 
“Yeah, I’ll come,” you said. “Just tell me what I can bring.” 
You were almost giddy by the time you got home. It’s not like you’d seen Joel every day since you’d met him but the option always felt like it was there. You’d only texted a bit since the phone sex Sunday and it felt like it had been eons since you’d gotten to touch him. You wondered if it would be weird if you gave him a hug when Sarah was there. You could get away with a hug, right? 
You pulled out a few outfit options, trying to find something that would make Joel want to check you out but not look like you were trying to get him to check you out. You pulled the shirts out and hung them on your floor length mirror so they were next to each other when you got an idea. 
You stripped out of your work clothes and changed into your favorite matching bra and panty set, standing in front of the mirror with the shirts still hanging on it, arranging yourself so you could see your body between the clothes. You took a picture. 
“Which shirt for tonight?” You typed, sending the picture to Joel. 
He responded while you were jumping into your jeans, the denim tight on your thighs and hips. 
“You’re cruel, you know that right?” He wrote. “I vote green. Feel like you’ll cause less trouble in the green.” 
The green was a little tamer, you supposed. The v-neck wasn’t quite as low, the eyelet lace softer and almost girlish. You smiled a little. 
“You’re right,” you wrote back. “Black it is.” 
Black was a wrap top, with a deeper v-neck, something that would highlight your curves even more. And give Joel easy access.
“You’re a menace,” he texted. 
“I know :)” 
You got dressed and stopped by HEB on your way over, picking up a dozen bottles of Shiner. You’d had to consciously toe the line of trying without trying too hard and you stomach was in knots as you walked up to his front door. What if your hair or your makeup or your shoes or the tightness of your jeans screamed “I’m fucking the man who lives in this house”? 
But you took a deep breath and rang the doorbell anyway. It didn’t take long for it Sarah to rip it open with a squeal, pulling you inside. 
“I’m so glad you came!” She said, jumping a little as she pulled away from you. “This is going to be so much fun, I promise. See, we’re going to do shit like this all the time when I move down here. We gotta manifest it, girl, I’m telling you. It’s even more fun when it’s summer and people want to swim because getting drunk in a pool that’s not open to every other idiot in your apartment complex is seriously the best pass time.” 
“I can only imagine,” you smiled. “And, I brought beer!” 
You held up the six packs just as Joel went rushing past, on his way to the kitchen. But he doubled back and stopped, a slow smile spreading across his face as he looked you up and down from over Sarah’s shoulder. You smirked just a little and he shook his head slightly, smiling. 
“Good to see you,” he said, stepping around Sarah for a somewhat awkward hug. He lowered his voice, his lips next to your ear, speaking so softly you could barely hear him. “Menace.” 
He stepped back and you smiled wider. 
“Good to see you, too.” 
Joel took the beers from your hands and his eyes lingered a little too long on your chest - not that you were arguing. 
“Come on,” Sarah slipped her hand into yours. “I want you to meet everybody!” 
She tugged you along behind her to the backyard, you giving Joel an apologetic smirk over your shoulder, people standing in little clusters around the pool. You spotted Joel’s brother immediately, the resemblance hard to miss. He was standing next to a beautiful woman with braids half way down her back, his arm around her waist. You smiled a little. You remembered dropping Sarah off at the airport when she flew down the year before for her uncle’s wedding. 
“Have fun!” You said, putting her duffle bag on her shoulder as your car sat with the emergency flashers on in the loading zone. 
“Yeah, this is going to be a disaster,” she said. “There’s no way they’re making it down the aisle. I haven’t met Maria but it’s Tommy. He’s jumped from woman to woman since before I was born, the day he settles down is the day hell freezes over.” 
When you picked her up again three days later, she had a different story. 
“So did they actually get hitched?” You asked as she flopped heavily into the passenger seat. 
“Holy shit, they did. She is the only woman on the planet who could actually get him to settle down,” she said. “And by some miracle, she wanted to. No accounting for taste with some people…” 
You laughed and headed to your favorite bar to hear all about it. You hadn’t really expected to ever really meet him except maybe in passing at Sarah’s wedding one day. Now you were meeting him in your - boyfriend’s? Fuck buddy’s? Who knows what’s? - backyard. 
“Tommy, Maria!” Sarah called as the two of you worked your way around the pool. “Got someone for you to meet, she’s new in town and in desperate need of social contacts.” 
She made the introductions and Tommy laughed when he heard your name. 
“The infamous best friend,” he smiled, pulling you in for a hug. “She as bad an influence on you as she was on me?” 
“Oh shut up,” she rolled her eyes. 
“She talked me into grand larceny once,” Tommy said, pointing accusingly at Sarah with the beer bottle in his hand. 
“Did she now?” You asked, brows raised. 
“Oh yes,” he nodded, smiling cheekily. “She was seven and Joel said she couldn’t have all her Halloween candy on Halloween…” 
“A crime, really,” she smiled, grabbing Tommy’s beer and taking a drink before giving it back. 
“And she was so cute, these big eyes and her little princess costume and her hair going in about a million different directions…” 
“Yeah, Dad hadn’t figured out how to handle that yet,” she laughed a little. 
“I caved,” Tommy said. “I put up a valiant fight…” 
“You said yes immediately!” Sarah scoffed. “I barely even had to pout…” 
“She was a monster,” Tommy cut her off. “I was at her mercy, I swear!” 
“And then what happened?” Joel asked, joining your little circle with two beers in hand. He wordlessly pressed one into your palm. You smiled a little at him and he brushed his hand down your spine on his way to putting it in his back pocket. “C’mon, you two partners in crime, finish that story. What happened?” 
“Nothing that bad,” Tommy waved him off. 
“Yeah, it was fine,” Sarah said. “No lasting damage…” 
“For you two maybe,” Joel laughed. “I was the one who was up until 3 in the morning washing all her bedding and scrubbin’ the wall of her room because she projectile vomited three pounds of candy like she was starring in the damn Exorcist.” 
You laughed as Sarah and Tommy both tried to downplay it and Maria just lovingly patted her husband’s shoulder, rolling her eyes. While everyone was distracted, you snuck a look at Joel. Just a second to actually look at his face as he laughed and smiled with his family. It was a little unfair, how good looking he was. Somehow both rugged and soft, handsome and beautiful and you had to resist the urge to reach up and twist your fingers in his slightly unruly curls. You looked back at Sarah before anyone said anything and took a sip of beer. 
Sarah got sidetracked talking with Tommy and you took advantage of it, leaning in to whisper in Joel’s ear. 
“You’re really hot,” you said quietly. “Also, I got you a present, it’s in my purse.” 
“Oh really?” He raised his eyebrows, a devious look on his face. 
You rolled your eyes. 
“Not that exciting,” you said. 
“What are you two conspiring about?” Maria asked and you almost flinched as Tommy and Sarah turned their attention to you. 
“Just how to get this one to stop meddlin’,” Joel said smoothly, nodding to his daughter. 
“I do not meddle,” she replied. “I just nudge people in the right direction. Because I’m smarter than them.” 
You got along well with Joel’s brother and sister-in-law. Tommy seemed more like a big brother to Sarah than an uncle, which made sense when they talked about her childhood years. Tommy was six years younger than Joel, just 16 when Sarah came into the world. So while he adored his niece, he wasn’t exactly mature enough to be a parent-like figure. It sounded like he’d helped his brother out a lot but had been more of a friend to Sarah than anything else. 
You liked watching her and Joel with their friends and family, the easy familiarity of it all, the comfort of having history with people. It was something that was missing from your life. 
Sure, you liked your life. You liked it quite a bit, actually. You had a job you enjoyed that paid you good money, you’d lived in some interesting places - Seattle, three years in New York City, an internship in Chicago, even Washington D.C. for a bit - and you could do just about whatever you wanted whenever you wanted. That was the beauty of not having anything to tie you down. The cost just meant not having roots and, sometimes, that hurt. 
Joel disappeared inside at one point and, after taking quick stock of the backyard to make sure no one else was inside with him, you followed. You slipped into the entry and grabbed your purse, pulling out the bag of Fire Sour Patch Kids you’d seen in the candy aisle on your way to grab beer when you stopped at the store earlier that day. 
Joel was in the kitchen cutting vegetables for burger toppings and you climbed on the counter next to the cutting board. He looked up at you out of the corner of his eye, trying to hide his smile while he shook his head. 
“Meant what I said about you bein’ a menace,” he said, his eyes on the knife. “You’re torture. Beautiful torture but torture.” 
“We aim to please,” you smiled, holding out the candy. He frowned for a second, drying his hands on his jeans, before he laughed and took the bag. “Warned you it wasn’t exciting…” 
“This is great, Beautiful,” he leaned in and kissed you lightly, like it was an automatic thing, as though you did this in his kitchen all the time. “Been wantin’ to try these and then I never buy the damn things….” 
“I’ll help you eat them if they suck,” you smiled. “And you can help me eat them if they don’t.” 
He smiled again and moved in front of you, nudging your legs apart so he was standing between your thighs  and he leaned in and kissed you - really kissed you. His tongue dipped into your mouth, his hands sliding up your legs to your waist as he tugged you closer. You draped your arms over his shoulders and pressed yourself against him and savored his touch. Fuck, you’d missed this. It had only been a few days but it felt like an eternity of him being out of reach and it was almost reassuring to feel the way his hands fit against your body even after some time apart. 
“Fuck, you’re trouble,” he was breathless when he pulled away from you, his hands still on your body. “Just couldn’t wear the green, could ya?” 
“And miss out on this?” You teased, running your fingers through his hair. “Never.” 
Sarah sat between the two of you at dinner, the best spot for you and Joel to be in when you thought about it. Next to you was too much temptation, you’d end up touching each other and then not be able to help yourselves and that was bad. 
Across wasn’t great, either, as you’d discovered at dinner the other night. If you could just check each other out the whole night, that wasn’t the safe way to go. Not to mention the opportunities for playing footsie under the table. 
No no, you needed a better way to keep your hands to yourselves and Sarah was a great barrier for that - both literally and metaphorically - and you managed to get through the meal without any big slip ups. Something you were pretty damn proud of, if you did say so yourself. 
You excused yourself to the bathroom as things were in that easy after dinner conversation stage of the evening, everyone pleasantly full and a little drunk, Sarah laughing with a neighbor from down the street whose name you’d forgotten. But when you opened the bathroom door to head back outside, Joel was there, pushing you back into the room and closing the door behind him. 
“Joel!” You hissed, his hands on your waist. 
“You really can’t expect me to wait when you show up lookin’ this damn good,” he growled, boosting you up so you were perched on the edge of the sink. “Everyone’s too busy to even notice we’re gone…” 
His mouth found your neck and your chest as he untied your top, his tongue and teeth ranging over your skin and you couldn’t help but moan at his attention, your body already feeling warm and wanting. Joel stepped back from you a he fully opened your shirt, revealing your body to him as though it were some wondrous thing, moaning as he did. 
“Fuck Beautiful,” his hands trailed up your exposed skin to cup your breasts through your bra. “Ain’t fair how one person can look this damn good…” 
“Had to pull you away from the grill somehow,” you smiled, tugging him back against you and kissing him. He kissed you back, getting more and more desperate as he did. He pulled your breasts free of their cups so he could suck at them and hold them in his large hands, moaning into you. Your hands ran down his body to find his cock hard in his jeans, feeling him through the fabric, desperately wishing you could just rip all his clothes off and get him inside you. 
“Think you can come from just your clit?” He asked, breathless, as he licked and sucked your neck. 
“Yes,” you moaned. “Think you can come from just my hand?” 
“It’d take less than that,” he panted as he opened your jeans and slid his hand inside as best he could, his finger finding your clit quickly. He ghosted over it with his finger, making you squirm and moan. “Fuck, Beautiful, you close already?” 
“Maybe,” you panted as he pressed a little harder against the sensitive nub. You reached down to pull out his cock to start jerking him off but he caught your hand. You whined a little. 
“Not yet,” he kissed back up to your mouth, holding his lips a fraction of an inch away from yours. “Lemme take care of you…” 
He kissed you then, his tongue slipping into you as his finger pressed into your clit. You groaned and rocked your hips on him and you felt him smile against your lips. He started rubbing you in slow, aching circles, adding a little pressure every time around, matching his kiss to the pace of his fingers. You moaned desperately against him and he picked up his pace, working you over until you were gasping into his mouth while you came from his fingers. 
“Fuck,” you panted as Joel slipped his hand from your pants. “How are you so goddamn good at that?” 
“You’re so pretty when you come it’s easy to remember what does it,” he replied, stepping back from you. You slid off the sink but, instead of fixing your bra and closing your shirt, you dropped to your knees and started unzipping his fly. “Baby…” 
“I can be quick,” you said, looking up at him through your eyelashes as you freed his cock. You never really got used to hot big he was - thick, heavy, long. But you’d be fine choking on him if it meant making him come. 
You started by licking his head and he let out a shuddering little moan and you smiled a little, lapping at the dripping pre-come at his slit like he was your favorite flavor of ice cream. Which, he kind of was. Heady and masculine and Joel, knowing that he was dripping because of you made you want him even more. 
Instead of taking the more gradual route, you took him into your mouth and throat all at once, having to swallow around the head of him as he pushed past your gag reflex. His hand flew to your head, fingers twisting in your hair and sinking into the thin layer of flesh over your skull. 
“Oh fuck,” he panted. “Oh my fucking god…..” 
You sucked him and moaned, the vibration of your vocal chords working the tip of him as it was lodged in your throat. You pressed your tongue against the thick vein that ran along the underside of him before you started pulling back, his grip on your head relaxing just enough to let you do it. You worked is cock up and down, sucking and licking and taking him into your mouth until you started to cough. He panted and moaned as you worked him until, eventually, he was clinging to the sink to stay upright. 
“Fuck, please Baby, I need to come,” he groaned. You smiled as much as you could when your mouth was full of his thick cock. “Lemme… can I…” 
You looked up at him, eyes wide, as you slid down him so he was buried in your mouth to the root and you hummed your approval. His hands immediately flew to your head and he started fucking into your mouth. You took it, swallowing past your gag reflex with each deep stroke. He didn’t last long, just a few pumps, before he was spilling into you, moaning quietly as he did. You swallowed it all, his cock so deep in your throat you could barely even taste him as he pumped his come into you. 
“Fuck,” he all but collapsed against the sink and you carefully slid his cock from your mouth and got up, wiping your mouth on the back of your wrist. You adjusted your bra and tied your shirt again. 
“Worth it?” You teased. 
“Jesus Christ woman,” he groaned. “You’re gonna kill me.” 
You smiled and kissed his cheek before you went to leave the bathroom but he grabbed your arm, pulling you back against him to kiss you deep and long. You tried to hide your surprise. Other guys you’d been with weren’t huge on kissing you after you went down on them. Joel didn’t seem to mind. But then, Joel just wasn’t like other men. You smiled as you pulled back from him and he laughed a little. 
“What?” You frowned. 
“We made a mess of your makeup,” he jerked his head toward the mirror, tucking his cock back in his pants as you checked your reflection. Your lipstick had smeared and you laughed a little, too. 
“Good thing I have more in my bag,” you said, grabbing a sheet of toilet paper and cleaning up what you could. “See you back out there?” 
“Once I remember how to walk again,” he teased. 
It was sheer luck that Maria came in to use the bathroom as you adjusted your lipstick in the entryway mirror and not a few minutes earlier and you popped a breath mint so you could think about something besides the fact that the last thing in your mouth had been Joel’s cock when you talked with Sarah. 
You left only about an hour later, giving Sarah a long hug as she walked you to your car. 
“I’ll be back again soon for Thanksgiving,” she smiled, squeezing you tight. “Just manifest with me!” 
“I’m manifesting so hard I might break something,” you smiled back, trying to ignore the knot of guilt in your stomach about hiding something so big from her. 
“And seriously,” she said, stepping back from you. “If you need a friend before I get down here…” 
“Call the whole Miller clan,” you smiled. “I got it.” 
“Good,” she said. “We’ll just make a Miller out of you yet.” 
You tried to ignore how your heart skipped a beat at the thought of that. 
“Sounds good to me.” 
Joel came straight to your place after dropping Sarah off at the airport the next night. You answered the door in a sundress - as promised - expecting to go to dinner. 
Which, in hindsight, was foolish. 
“Fuck,” you said, looking Joel up and down. He had flowers. He was in a plain, dark t-shirt that was tight around his biceps, his jeans hanging just right on his hips. 
“What?” He frowned. 
“Just get in here and let me fuck you,” you said, grabbing his shirt and pulling him into your apartment. 
The flowers were quickly abandoned on the breakfast bar in your kitchen as you kissed him, tugging his shirt off and casting it aside before you dragged him to the bedroom. 
“We gotta eat at some point tonight, Baby,” he said between kisses as you shoved him down on the bed. 
“That’s fine,” you panted, stepping out of your panties and casting them aside. “We can do this twice.” 
“Fuck, you’re fucking perfect,” he said, lifting his hips so he could slide his pants down a little and sitting so his back was against your headboard. He started working his cock, already hard in the palm of his hand. You straddled him, the skirt of your dress hiding your dripping pussy and his leaking cock from view. He kept one hand on his cock but the other went to your hips as you lowered yourself toward him until your pussy brushed his thick head. “Oh shit, fuck Beautiful, I need… Fuck, need inside you, I need to be inside you…” 
“I know,” you breathed before sinking onto his cock with a shaking moan. His other hand flew to your waist, too, pulling you down on him so his whole length was sheathed within you. You panted for breath as your body adjusted to the intrusion. “I need you, too.” 
“Fuck,” his head fell back against the headboard. “Fuck, you feel so fucking good every time, s’like I belong in this pussy, like your pussy was made to take this cock.” 
“Made to ride this cock,” you moaned, starting to rise and fall over him with a satisfied groan. Joel somehow hit all the right angles inside you, the thickness of his shaft stretching you deliciously, his head finding the sensitive place deep inside you and pressing against it, making your pussy start to tighten around him. 
“Oh shit,” his grip on you got firmer, his fingers sinking into the soft flesh of you. “Want you to come on this cock, Beautiful. Want you to use me to get yourself off, fuck, Baby, make yourself come on my cock…” 
You buried your face in his neck and breathed in his deep, clean, masculine scent and started riding him harder, adjusting your hips so your clit was leaving an obscene, messy streak of your slick up and down his bare stomach. You licked and sucked at his neck as you rode him, fucking down on him hard and fast and grinding your clit against him. As your body tightened, you sat up straighter, pressing your forehead to his own so you could see his face, the liquid heat in you centering around where he was inside you until you came with a desperate moan around him. 
“There we go,” he almost sounded like he was in pain he was so desperate. “Fuck, you come so fuckin’ pretty Baby, so goddamn pretty. Feel so good, coming on my cock, better than anything else, fuck Beautiful, I can’t…” 
Joel took control of your hips then, pumping you up and down his shaft and you tried to help as best you could as you rode out your orgasm. His hips fucked up into you hard and fast until he was emptying himself into you, moaning as he did. 
You collapsed on top of him, panting for breath and he went from holding your hips to wrapping his arms around you, holding you close to him. You stayed like that for a few minutes, your breaths synchronizing as you both came back down from our highs. 
“So,” you said, breathing not quite back to normal yet. “Dinner?” 
He laughed. 
“Dinner.” 
When you fell asleep in Joel’s arms that night, all naked and entwined with him, you were starting to think that you could get used to this. That you wanted to do this all the time, every day. Do all of life’s stupid little things with him, go grocery shopping with him and pay the water bill with him and deal with traffic jams with him. 
You just weren’t sure how to talk about that yet. 
But that was OK. You were getting there, you could tell. 
When Joel kissed you goodbye in the morning, he brushed your hair back from your forehead so he could kiss you there too. 
“Leaving already?” You mumbled. 
“‘Fraid so,” he said softly. “Need to get an early start at the job site. Can I see you tonight?” 
You just hummed in response. He frowned. 
“That’s a yes, I hope,” he said. You nodded and you opened your eyes just enough to see him smile broadly. “I’ll text you. Have a good day, Baby.” 
“You too,” you mumbled into your pillow. 
When you got up an hour later, there was a sticky note on your coffee maker, telling you to check your fridge. Inside was an iced latte from the coffee shop down the street and you smiled so big it was hard to do your makeup as you got ready to go. 
You were still on cloud nine when you were getting ready to take a client to lunch that afternoon, doing a last check of your makeup when you got a call from the reception desk downstairs. 
“Someone’s here for you,” the receptionist sounded skeptical. “I’m not letting him back without you.” 
“No problem,” you laughed. “We’re going off site for lunch, tell him I’ll be down in a minute.” 
You went to the lobby, looking for someone who at least vaguely resembled the headshot from your client’s website when you did a double take. 
The man sitting on the couch in reception smiled when he saw you and your heart sank into your stomach as he headed for you. 
“Hey Angel,” he smiled. 
You couldn’t smile back. 
“Shit.”  
Next Chapter
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THE BEST OF DANIEL BRÜHL
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It’s dumb, honestly.
You get this seemingly brilliant idea of turning to foreign films so you’re forced to read subtitles and focus—a problem you’ve been noticing of late—but in doing so, you end up with a more destructive distraction.
“Who’s that guy, again? The one in all those international productions?” That’s how I found myself on my Daniel Brühl marathon-turned-obsession.
It was his role as the cute Nazi in Inglorious Basterds that first put him on my radar. Over the years, I would see him in The Fifth Estate, Burnt, Woman in Gold, The Zookeeper’s Wife, and The King’s Man. Midway through All Quiet on the Western Front, I was like, “All this needs is that German actor…” and I had to chuckle when he later appeared on screen. I also checked out the first season of The Alienist because I was intrigued by what he and Dakota Fanning as leads would do with such a spooky-looking show.
Adorable as he was in his breakout role in Good Bye, Lenin!, it was his performance in the critically-acclaimed Rush that caused me to spiral. Similar to when Benedict Cumberbatch took on the modern version of Sherlock, it was like seeing Brühl with new eyes. His playful take on Helmut Zemo in The Falcon and the Winter Soldier was the final nail in the coffin. I don’t imagine it’s all too different from what Tom Hiddleston did to fans of Marvel as Loki.
I’m actually at the tail-end of this obsession now that I’ve seen everything I can get a hold of—around 39 films, two TV shows, a documentary, a music video, countless interviews, a bunch of ads, and a handful of fan cuts—but he has a lot of works worth recommending so I thought I would share them on here. This will mostly be a subjective list with priority on projects I found most interesting which showcase his range best. Like, I enjoyed The Bourne Ultimatum but he was on screen for a total of 2 minutes so I wouldn’t include that here.
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RUSH (2013) This biographical sports film written by Peter Morgan—the man behind The Crown—centers on the rivalry between Formula One drivers James Hunt and Niki Lauda in the 70s. Not a fan of F1 or sports in general. I have nothing against either, just zero interest. But this character-driven film, much like Ford vs Ferrari, had me at the edge of my seat the entire ride. And it surprisingly has one of the best meet-cutes—and accidental wingmen—I’ve seen yet.
Brühl delivers an Oscar-worthy performance in this role. For someone who needed a lot of convincing he could do the character justice, he truly went above and beyond. For one, he befriended and studied Lauda, the iconic F1 figure he was portraying. No easy feat considering Lauda being, well… Lauda. In interviews, Brühl recounts the story of the memorable invite he got from Lauda to meet in Vienna. This would be their first meeting and Lauda told Brühl outright that he should only bring hand luggage so he can piss off if they don’t like each other.
He would end up staying a few days and buying additional clothes.
He also spent a month in Vienna to nail the accent, making sure to capture the arrogance and irony innate to it. And although he got driver training for the role, he also considered the tiniest details like which went on first: helmet or gloves? There was also the tricky business of looking graceful entering a tiny F1 car—a bigger challenge for Chris Hemsworth who plays Hunt—but an obstacle all the same.
All the hard work paid off. It was well-received by audiences, critics, and the F1 world. The first time Lauda saw the film he went, “Holy shit, that’s really me”. Lauda’s friends thought he did voiceover work for it. Director Ron Howard was so pleased with Brühl’s performance that he went out of his way to show an unfinished cut of the movie to the producers of The Fifth Estate (2013). This gracious act would land Brühl the co-lead role opposite Benedict Cumberbatch.
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GOOD BYE, LENIN! (2003) Can't tell if it's just because the two films have the same composer and were created around the same time, but this tragicomedy set in East Germany reminded me so much of my beloved Amélie. This is definitely more dramatic and political but it has that same mix of whimsy, heart, and charm. With its budget, it was meant to be an indie film, but the story of a son who would recreate a faux-socialist world to keep his mother alive captured the heartstrings of audiences, not just in Germany but also worldwide. Brühl plays the son and his success with this film was a double-edged sword: although it would open doors for him internationally, he would also be typecast as the “nice guy” in his home country.
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INGLORIOUS BASTERDS (2009) This has one of the best, most intense opening sequences in all of cinema… and one of the greatest villains. In this wild alternate universe from Quentin Tarantino, he rewrites the ending of World War II. It’s the right balance of dark, hilarious, and entertaining—my favorite from the auteur’s works. Here Brühl plays a cute and charming Nazi, which is very confusing to the senses.
Aside from Brühl, it was also my first introduction to Christoph Waltz, Michael Fassbender, and Melanie Laurent—all fantastic European actors who’ve crossed over to Hollywood after the success of this movie. “Crossing over” seems ubiquitous now but, at that time, giving most of the lead roles to then relatively unknown actors must have been a risk. But for this, it was necessary. Language plays a huge part in this trilingual film and casting native speakers grounded it in authenticity. Tarantino originally had Leonardo di Caprio in mind to play Hans Landa. Whether he meant for him to learn German or to speak English with a German accent, who knows. Either way, it’s safe to say that would have been a different film.
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THE EDUKATORS / DIE FETTEN JAHRE SIND VORBEI (2004) This anti-capitalist film, which has become a cult classic, captures the spirit, idealism, recklessness, and angst of young revolutionaries who just want a better world. Where one stands on the measures taken, or even their sentiment, can be considered a litmus test. With or without reference to this quote from the movie—“Under 30 and not liberal, no heart. Over 30 and still liberal, no brain.”—is up to the viewer.
There needs to be a suspension of disbelief for the series of events that takes place but the setting is necessary for the clash of worlds to happen. It’s not a perfect movie but the issues they debate about in length… they’re still discussions we’re having nearly 20 years later.
p.s. this has my favorite behind-the-scenes of all of Brühl’s projects. Though he hasn’t lost his sense of humor, he seems to have become more reserved as he got older. HERE, at this period in his life, he’s a total goofball bordering on loose cannon.
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THE FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLDIER (2021) Though I’ve enjoyed quite a few MCU movies, I’m not invested in the universe at all, so watching this wasn’t a priority. In fact, I was ready to settle on YouTube compilations made by devoted fans of all the scenes Brühl was in. Upon seeing clips, however, I got intrigued by his character so I still ended up watching the miniseries and also Captain America: Civil War (2016).
Both were better than I expected. Civil War is more serious, while TFATWS is more playful, but both face relevant issues along with formidable foes. Brühl’s villain in Helmut Zemo is fascinating because he tears the mighty Avengers apart with mere patience, fury, and intelligence… and his motivations are understandable. He lets his character loose in TFATWS—at one point, on the dance floor—and it’s magnificent. His mission is still the same, but this time he does it with a lot of charm, humor, and fabulous Sokovian style. A Turkish delight, personified.
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ME AND KAMINSKI / ICH UND KAMINSKI (2015) Brühl’s Sebastian Zöllner is a repulsive and sleazy journalist who has greasy hair and wears too much cologne but I can’t get enough of his chaotic energy. His magnum opus is hitched on a legendary artist dying and his fantasy is to turn the orphaned daughter into a sugar mommy. It’s all kinds of messed up but he plays the hell out of the smarmy dirtbag so it’s a lot of fun. This is Brühl’s second collaboration with Wolfgang Becker, who directed Good Bye, Lenin! Daniel Kehlmann, the writer whose eponymous book this film was based on, would later write Brühl’s directorial debut, Nebenan.
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NO REGRETS / NICHTS BEUREUEN (2001) This is reminiscent of the slightly problematic but highly enjoyable teen comedies and coming-of-age films of the 90s. It’s like an edgier Can’t Hardly Wait: boy goes through cringe-worthy measures to get the girl he’s long been pining for, his two closest pals have nothing but dumb advice to offer, yet he still ends up on the path to self-discovery. It’s awkward, chaotic, frustrating, and beautiful—but such is adolescence.
Brühl and his co-star Jessica Schwarz fall in love on the set of this film. And although they would break up years later, the tenderness between their scenes together is palpable and there’s something rather bittersweet about seeing that captured in perpetuity.
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For a more straightforward rom-com, he has Lila, Lila (2009). It’s about a guy who passes off a manuscript as his own to impress a girl and the hilarity that follows. It’s on YouTube for those who need a fun and light watch.
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THE ALIENIST (2018 – 2020) Based on the novel of the same name, this moody psychological thriller set in late 19th century New York follows a psychiatrist—then called an Alienist—who investigates a series of grisly murders with methods still considered new and controversial at that time, such as psychology and fingerprinting. He gets by with a little help from his friends, John Moore, an illustrator for the New York Times, and Sara Howard, a society woman who works in the NYPD.
In the lead role of Dr. Laszlo Kreizler, Brühl plays the dark, complex, and mysterious Alienist whose study of mental pathologies and deviant behaviors reveals much of himself and his past.
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LESSONS OF A DREAM / DER GANZ GROßE TRAUM (2011) This film is loosely based on Konrad Koch, an educator and pioneer who brought football to Germany in the late 19th century. In the movie, the sport is used as a means to pique students’ interest in the English language and culture—both considered barbaric by the Germans at that time. A heartwarming tale of a teacher who overcomes insurmountable odds and inspires students along the way, it’s the German equivalent of Dead Poet’s Society.
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ALL QUIET ON THE WESTERN FRONT (2022) This story, the third adaptation of the 1929 novel, “Im Westen nichts Neues”, conveys the futility of war like no other. There aren't as many films on World War I as there are on World War II, fewer ones that tell it from a German perspective, so this is doubly unique in that regard. Powerful watch but 10/10 not like to relive it again. Apart from producing it with his company, Amusement Park, Brühl plays Matthias Erzberger, the German State Secretary who pushes for armistice talks with the Allied forces.
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An ideal companion watch to this would be Joyeux Noël / Merry Christmas (2005), another WWI movie Brühl stars in, which depicts the unbelievable Christmas truce between French, German, and Scottish soldiers in 1914. His linguistic ability shines here as he shifts between German, French, and English effortlessly. (Half German, half Spanish, Brühl speaks a total of five languages: those three plus Spanish and Catalan.)
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The Zookeeper’s Wife (2017) and Alone in Berlin (2016) also recognize the bravery of defiance at the height of tyrannical regimes. Although between the two, I would skip the latter.
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JOHN RABE (2009) This biographical film set in China tells the incredible true story of a German businessman who uses his Nazi Party membership to create an International Safety Zone in Nanking. This was in the late 1930s, during the Rape of Nanjing. In this six-week carnage by the Imperial Japanese Army—which includes sexual assault, mutilations, and killing contests—upwards of 200,000 Chinese are brutally murdered. The protective zone manages to save around the same number of civilians.
Brühl doesn’t play the titular Rabe, but his character, Dr. Georg Rosen, is one of few Westerners who decides to remain and protect Nanking even as conflict escalates. Dr. Rosen was a German Diplomat instrumental in the creation of the safety zone.
p.s. with all these heroic roles in his catalog, I’m convinced Brühl would be a frontrunner to play President Volodymyr Zelenskyy, should a movie be made about him and Ukraine’s conflict with Russia. You heard it here first.
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NEXT DOOR / NEBENAN (2021) This is Brühl’s directorial debut. Here he plays a darker, fictionalized version of himself. Definitely not for everyone but quite enjoyable if you’re familiar with his major works and public persona, appreciate the ingenuity of one-location movies, and delight in British-style meta humor.
Pre-requisite viewing for maximum enjoyment: Good Bye, Lenin!, Captain America: Civil War, and The Falcon and the Winter Soldier.
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vodkabodies · 1 year ago
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Invisible String
Summary: An endless search for a remedy comes to a halt when Harry realizes he’s been tied to it, to her, all along.
Pairing: Harry Styles x Musician gf
WC: 475
Warnings: If you're NOT a fan of romanticrry, this is not the post for you ;)
A/N: Can you tell I’m a sucker for fluff? Here’s a little ‘thank you’ for the love you’ve given over my previous post <3 This is a really short one but still, enjoy!
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You were there all along, hidden in plain sight. At award shows, at after parties, even at our mutual friend’s wedding ceremony. Sometimes I wonder, what took us so long, then? For years you were always just a friend of a friend, an artist under the same record label, and now you have your own mugs in my kitchen cabinet and a side on my bed that will always smell of you.
Whenever I get lost in my thoughts like this though, as if by instinct, a connection only you and I are tied to, a brush of your fingers through the curly strands of my hair always wipes the questions away. As I lay here, sulking in your gentle yawning and the scent of your shampoo, there wouldn't have been a more perfect time than now. Not seven years ago when you were getting out of a toxic relationship, and I from a boy group I’ve been in for years to pursue my own endeavours.
We were meant to cross paths, eventually. At the perfect place, and at the perfect time.
I was scheduled for a meeting the very night of your opening show. I ran into my good friend, your manager at the time, who was on his way to support you. At that very moment, I received a call that our meeting was postponed. He invited me to join him instead, and so I did. With no intentions of coincidentally meeting my twin flame that same evening.
Ever since then, it’s been you.
As if tied to an invisible string, distance from you started feeling like hell. Like being pulled by rip currents, away from the safety of the shore.
I started to fear that every song I'll ever write from that day onward would be about you. And how you snorted a laugh when my voice pathetically cracked the moment I introduced myself to you, your hands that fit perfectly in mine as you shook it, and that voice, the one that grew a bed of flowers over the barricades that disabled me from running directly to you, the same one that now hums me lullabies.
You are the cure to my sleepless nights, the remedy for my mundane days, and extra lonely drives. I, a hopeless romantic, an artist, the product of loving and losing, has fallen deeply in love with you in a way that only words can explain, and only lyrics can describe. 
I’ve written about finding no antidotes for curses, been convinced that loving someone else in the past was the cure, and thought another person had it all along. But it was you. Not a pill I could swallow, an action I could do, or something someone could possess. All along I was tied to the one I’ve spent lifetimes searching for.
“You are the antidote.”
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A/N: Hope you guys caught all the references I snuck in here. If you did, feel free to comment them below! I appreciate the support and feedback for my first work <3 More to come! (possibly a new fic??) As always, thank you for reading!
Twitter: @vodkabodies
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gatorbites-imagines · 2 years ago
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Chad is so babygirl🥰🥰🥰 Just imagine growing up with him being best bros and when we both grow older we share one brain cell together. THE OP HIMBO DUO
Chad Martin-Meeks x male reader
Headcanons
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I love Chad, so much. There’s also spoilers for Scream 6 in this, if you guys don’t want those. I might also have added some Ethan stuff in this, I couldn’t help myself.
You were related to the Riley family, most likely Dewey’s son or something along those lines, the result of a one-night stand, or Gale and Dewey having you together but splitting apart again afterwards.
You were raised by your dad, but because of his worsening mental state you spent a lot of time with the Meeks family. Your dad was both overprotective because of losing his sister and so many other people, but also because Gale mostly just ignored your existence, so he wanted to be a good parent.
You never blamed your dad because you knew he did his best, but it did lead to you hanging out with Chad and Mindy most of the time at their house. Dewey was happy that you had a support system and could be young and free, so he never had anything against it.
Out of the siblings you got along with Chad the most, even as kids the two of you were connected at the hip even more than he was with Mindy. Out of your group there was a braincell sure, but it was Mindy who had it for the most part.
You both developed feelings for each other, and of course Mindy would tease the both of you to the moon and back. Tara isn’t any help either as they keep making jokes and jabs at both you and Chad, though they never out the others crush because they’re not that mean.
When you two finally start dating no one is surprised, and of course your dad gives Chad the shovel talk, maybe even as he’s cleaning his guns. He knows Chad is a good guy, but its his duty as your dad to step in and set the record straight.
When the killings of Scream 5 happen you two end up getting hurt together, whilst trying to protect one another. You both end up surviving much to everyone’s joy, but it also results in you losing your dad and seeing your mom for the first time in years.
Since your over 18 you don’t go anywhere with your mom even though Gale tries to convince you to go with her, which leads to a big argument, and she has to be removed from the hospital since you’re still recovering.
You end up moving to college with Chad, and end up rooming with him and Ethan when everything is over. Gale still tries to contact with you and bond with you, though you think its too late for her to play any parental role in your life. Plus, you don’t trust her as you assume she’s just getting close to get information for her books.
You end up bonding more with Ethan than Chad does, that doesn’t mean you and Chad aren’t still connected at the hip, but you take interest in Ethan and what he’s into, even though you have little understanding of anything he does.
You and Chad both try to play wingmen for Ethan, and your status as the hot gay couple gives you some ins you didn’t have in the past, so your most likely able to end up setting Ethan up with a couple of girls, though it never goes very far.
I wouldn’t be surprised if Ethan gets a little flustered rooming with two hot guys, who have no problem making out in your guy’s shared kitchen or walking around in just a pair of shorts, he’s walking in on you and Chad more time than he can count.
Sure, he’s only rooming with you guys to get revenge for Richie, but why stop himself from looking when you two himbos are busy grinding on the couch to notice he’s there. You and Chad both go to Ethan for homework help too, because he’s so smart and Mindy still has the braincell.
Ethan’s found himself stuck between you and Chad on the couch multiple times during your “bro nights” with you two asleep against him. In the beginning it was just you and Chad, but then you pulled Ethan into it too since he was your roommate.
When everything with Scream 6 happens Chad still gets stabbed and you think you’ve lost him, and instead of Tara killing Ethan its you, as revenge for him using your friendship and killing your lover.
When it turns out Chad survived you rush into the ambulance with Mindy and your boyfriend is given help, with you holding and kissing his hand the entire ride there. After all of this you guys joke that you should transfer to another college, or stop being such horror movie tropes.
After you’ve all healed you and Chad decide it take it a bit more chill than you have before, not going to parties like you guys did in the past and just hanging out with your friends and family.
It results in you and Chad spending a lot of nights just cuddled up together, holding one another and just enjoying the others presence. You two just lay together and maybe run your hands over the others scars, just thankful the other is alive after everything.
You end up spending some more time with your mom, though you never get close because you still don’t think you can trust her, especially with the stuff she said about Sam in her book.
You end up taking after your dad as well, investing in some guns though not to the same level, and when your mental state starts spiraling your friends and lover are there you pull you out of it.
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