#i spent too much time on this but i dont care
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gtober 2: mask giving muse some new objects to play with. the mask be tragedy, but the face behind it is certainly a comedy
#i spent too much time on this but i dont care#i lvoe this so much#im happy#gt#gtober 2024#gtober2024#gtober#sfw gt#g/t#giant/tiny#giant tiny#sfw g/t#g/t community#ollie doobles#handheld#g/t handheld#gt community#gt fluff
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the red scorpion 🦂♥️ ( ig | twt | fb )
#if yall can like and comment on this on instagram (link in caption) too id appreciate it <3 maybe tag bez on the comments too if u want#sooo many mistakes on that aprilia bike but i spent too much time on it so im gonna include a close up of it#im still here (bez's red and black bike and suit combo during barcelona test) if anyone cares#i loved it so much i had to lock in for this fanart#my fingers are cramped bc of this btw lol i dont have a pen for my tablet so i just fingered this shit#marco bezzecchi#bezzecchi#mb72#fanart#motogp#my art#motogp art#eobsinj#digital art
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hi, i joined tumblr again just to geek out about how much i LOOVEEEEEEEEEE twisted wonderland. it has given me the will to survive so here is my first silly contribution that i spent way too much time and effort on i apologize. it's the haunted house pictures because i am the most original person ever. it brought me happiness so its a win for me.
#twisted wonderland#disney twst#twst#twst wonderland#disney twisted wonderland#twst shitpost#twst funny#i dont remember how to tag#seriously i spent way too much time than i care to admit on this
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soft (and some bittersweet)
#trigun stampede#trigun#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#i think they both spent majority of their lives in solitude and ofc vash went town to town and made friendships promises and etc along the w#way + he had his home and whatnot in the long years he's been alive but he still just seemed so lonely.#in prior versions of trimax he had friends at home at least and maybe he mightv made some but luida and brad are basically just his#guardians in this adaption. like brad used to be a homie.... vash watched that little dude grow up.... and jessica too.... but he doesn't#have that in this adaption. nor a town like july where he had grown close to the townspeople and shaped that tragedy to be closer to his#heart. and wolfwood spent years fighting under the eom and doing shit under their jurisdiction when we saw him so adamantly try to reject#and fight back against that fate. i dont think he had a second at all to get familiar with townspeople or even care to#so its just these two lonely ass souls and vash immediately seeing the good in ww and points it out#ww who is under orders again to be involved in vash's business but he's also SO touchy about it bc vash is so careless and lack that self#regard and also just is not seeing the world that ww is seeing. but then vash helps him and saves him by sharing a piece of what /he/ sees#and it fucking. rescrambled ww's brain for a sec. HE GAVE HIM HOPE!!! he gave him hope!!!! and in turn ww gave vash hope too and its#all done in like 3-4 eps. there's so much fervent attachment in what they managed to give each other in such a short time#but theyre limited to the contract to the inevitable confrontation with knives - so while theyd want to give into that chance to love this#person who managed to give them smth special they just can't at all#ruporas art
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a thing about rtd's era that i really really love seeing again is how he will usually wrap up the plot 10 or even 20 minutes before the episode ends and then the rest of that time is just dedicated to the characters talking to each other and dealing with their emotions and situations. like instead of a last minute win and a two minute goodbye they always get these massive spans of time to really get into everything emotionally and it always makes the episodes hit even harder
#this is rly on my mind since i just finished rewatching s3 too and like. the end of the#world plot wraps up in like 30 minutes the rest is just the characters talking to each other it's so good. houghhdgdgh#like they always leave so much time for everyone to just. HAVE CONVERSATIONS. and every#character has so many little things they do like for example martha calling up the ppl she#met during the year that never was.. like. you could say those scenes weren't necessary coz they#dont add anything to the plot and they really dont! we coulda spent that time on the Big Bad Villain. and yet it's a#much better use of that time because it makes everything feel so much more real#yes these ppl wont even remember meeting martha but here they are. they're okay and she cares abt them so much#same with the new ep like the plot ends at like minute 40 the rest is just them hanging out😭😭😭 it's so good....#doctor who#14th doctor#10th doctor#15th doctor#rtd#the giggle
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happy belated birthday to the devil that cursed my dick
#whb#whb satan#what in hell is bad#cliff png#spent too much time on this the sketch dump i wanted to do will have to happen another time....#missed a detail on this also but i dont think no one is gonna notice or care...its gonna bother me tho#but this is already late bc i wasnt feeling well...atp its gonna count for my birthday pic for myself too so hbd to me#alright im scurrying back off (＞＜*)ノ~~~~~
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people (the rest of the hanza. not including geralt) often forget that cahir was 1. the guy that kidnapped ciri 2. an officer in the military
he’s literally so polite in geralt’s company you wouldn’t even guess he was the black knight. and yet. and yet.
i’m never certain exactly how to reconcile this tactful and strategic mind with the terrified young man
#geralt never forgot but everyone else (maybe also except dandelion) was like ?? but ?? friend ?? friendship????#i imagine him barking an order to dandelion once and dandelion straightened up and obeyed#opposite of when cahir was looking over dandelions shoulder lol#maybe joke but#in my idea where angouleme goes missing . geralt is like. what do you think we should do#cahir’s like why me. geralt’s like. well. she’s ciri-shaped#milva enacting clemency for cahir after geralt chases regis away is fantastic#regis saved you from the noose and you’ve chased him away. thats your business. but but cahir saved me. so we’re comrades >:(#geralt seething he’s going to kill him and then like nooo i can’t kill him idk why …#when cahir joined the rivian forces 😭😭 because he in no way resembled a civilian#each of the company members have insane backstories they really are the PCs of the d&d campaign#and angouleme is the one npc they pick up and adopt into the company and defend to the end#so we’re looking for this guy’s daughter he’s bound to her by destiny#this guy kidnapped said daughter but he said sorry for it later#milva worked with dryads to kill people and regis is a vampire that drank people#and this guy is famous like beyoncé#angouleme: [sniffs] ‘kay#the elbow-high diaries#i need her to keep regis humble bc regis is like dont worry i dont bite people 🥹 and shes like yeah ok dont care either way#geralt is like oh hell do not explain to her all of this again. we spent too much time on this already last book#you know you are the reason we have three stars on goodreads#regis like i know… 🙂 if i wasn’t here you’d snag us zero…
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I hate the development of clark and lois's relationship I hate it! They went too hard on clark lana and then put no effort into actually taking advantage of the chemistry between clark and lois and building their relationship past their fond antagonism -- they totally just rest on the fact that everyone knows clark and lois are meant for each other in the lore and it pisses me off!!
#sv rewatch#same for clark and lex tbh like clark spent most of season 7 umming and ahhing#and then they come together at the end in time for lex to find out his secret and try to kill him to 'save the world'#the relationships on this show are criminally underdeveloped and repetetive#yes i AM expecting too much for a 2000s show in this year of 2025 i dont care!!
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one more day of overtime in a row and im actually gonna commit a crime
#BROTHER IN CHRIST I DONT FUCKING WANT TO STAY UNTIL MIDNIGHT IN HERE BECAUSE IM NOT MENTALLY DERANGED LIKE YOU ARE#JUST BECAUSE YOU SPENT TOO MUCH MONEY BECOMING A RESEARCHER AND YOU HAVE TO GET EVERY#PENNIES WORTH DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO DRAG ME IN IM JUST HERE FOR THE DOLLAR I DONT#WANT TO DO RESEARCH IN THE FUTURE#anyways i dont have food and by the time this shit will end the only cheap store nearby will be closed and i will#have to go to waitrose (for non uk - expensive posh store)#anyways im filled with anger because i dont have time to do my hobbies nor to write my essay#this is a cry for help#please god smite my supervisor and make him realise I don't care about the science
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good thing sora doesnt ask questions
#kingdom hearts#kh3#i cant believe nomura killed them#fun fact i dont know what nomura looks like and was too lazy to look it up for a shitpost#doodles#shitpost#sora#not tagging the winnie the pooh characters#good the winnie the pooh kh worlds are always so good but 3 is like. mmm#but still 'im trying to think of a way where you dont have to leave me' was so good actually#<- thats probably not the quote but u get the idea#i have no comments about it in 1#in 2 it was so good#with 3 idk if this is intentional or not but it feels like its a bit about sora like. growing out of it#like hes older now theres so much serious stuff going on#now it feels like a waste of time instead of time spent with friends#yknow yknow?#like. it feels like growing up and realizing you dont care about the stuff you used to anymore if that makes sense#i hope if its in kh4 they have a plot continuing w something like this#was talking to my sister about it and i said something like. i hope kh4 is about reconnecting to things you used to like#like rediscovering the joy in things you decided were childish#idk this is a silly little shitpost about how nomura took a bunch of the cast out back with a shotgun#but also this is like. the one opportunity im gonna get to talk about this world so!! yeah
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fuck the new year, everyone say happy birthday ichiban kasuga!!!!!
#rambles#yakuza liveblogging#my 2024 was pretty shit overall but im glad i spent much of it falling down the yakuza rabbithole#ive been in desperate need of a story-heavy series to sink my teeth into since my ffxiv fixation has cooled off#and yakuza perfectly fit the bill- got a hell of a lot of bang for my buck too#and while much of the fun of the yakuza games comes from the characters & drama & humor etc some of the themes hit home#y7 & y8's themes were particularly well-timed for me personally#'rock bottom doesnt have to be all bad' + 'as long as youre alive its never too late to change' are pretty poignant ideas for me rn#even more so now than when i first played them back in feb/march#as i just had a birthday that increased my age to a number that i dont much care to think about#but i just need to keep reminding myself that it literally does not matter how old i am#all i can do is try to become who i want to be in the present#i will always wish i'd done it sooner but that regret will only ever get worse the more i stall#and it isnt worth agonizing over the time i've wasted up until now because there's literally nothing i can do about it#anyway. my expectations are low but here's hoping 2025 isnt aggressively awful
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#personal#thinking about how the phrase treat others how you want to be treated is actually incredibly one way#unless damn near every person ive ever met wants to be treated like shit which i cant imagine is true#like idk i spent a lot of my time giving my energy to people. and ill never feel bad for putting love and kindness out into the world#but i gave some of these people everything i had. or not everything that would diminish me but everything i could spare for them at the time#i treated them attentively and considerately and tenderly and lovingly#and that kindness has not been extended back to me by most of these people#some of them have surely in their own 'love language' and im grateful for these people in my life#but most of the people ive treated with intentional care have actively and on purpose caused me a lot of emotional harm#which again. im working through and like karma will get them without me needing to be there or whatever while i do my own healing#but regardless i still think some of that shit should not have happened like it did#i dont understand how everyone can say to me treat others how youd like to be treated but not tell me the caveat#that they will not treat me the way i want to be treated even if i put in that effort for them/for our friendship or relationship or whatevr#like idk im a bitch for asking you to leave me alone when ive been vomiting for two days straight but you can straightup sexually misconduct#with my body and then when i write poetry about it and share my feelings instead of leaving and taking that information anywhere helpful#you get to decode youre traumatized actually and im still a bitch for bringing it up?#make it make sense#'treat others the way you want to be treated' so youd like it if i starved you and verbally insulted and gaslight and manipulated you? no?#then what the fuck is the point of you saying that to me???#idk im just fucking pissed rn that. idk what im pissed at. cause again i know im no contact with all of these people now and their#shitty justice will find its way to them. and i cant be mad at myself for saddling with the wrong people cause some of that was my choices#and some of it was blood i couldnt escape for a long time. and i said i dont want to regret or resent#putting love out to the world#but i am still angry that so much of me was given to the wrong people. that these people just chose to completely ignore#the level of respect and patience and kindness i showed them#idk dudes im just angry. 'treat others the way you want to be treated' fuck off thats some quiet manipulation bullshit to get me to be#nicer to you even as you abuse the self-worth outta me fuck off fuck you#i found it again. you cant bury it im too full of love to not love myself too but it hurts how hard they tried for so long#'treat others the way you want to be treated' how bout no. how bout i treat everyone with a base level of kindness#and when youve shown me that you will treat me the way i deserve to be treated then ill fucking play niceys back
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I think the annihilation movie is solid albeit flawed and at times really fantastic BUT now having read the book, while I largely like that the movie and book have so little to do with each other, being able to compare the two now did make me realize how much less interesting marital problems stemming from infidelity are compared to marital distance stemming from an inherent difficulty to emotionally connect with other human beings despite one's persisting loneliness
#when i watched the movie that was the weakest part i found#the relationship between the main character and her husband. i thought too much time was spent on it#and the affair plot felt a little tired. i dont think its impossible to make it interesting but i didnt care for it here#the book had a more interesting relationship between the biologist and her husband i found#more thematically relevant too. although i guess adapting emotional unavailability into film is. difficult#particularly in a current usa film industry that doesnt seem that interested in dialogue?#i still enjoyed a lot of the movie tho. but MAN the biologists character in the book was FANTASTIC#but i like when adaptations are really different from their source to the point of being separate#its like . fuck yeah. two things!!!!
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really need to sleep but. I just feel too happy :'3
#mole talks#i accidentally spent way too much time playing and having fun today :[#i drew so much and didn't revise for my spanish speaking exam#now i will walk into school tomorrow and probably not get as good a grade as i could've#but honestly i just dont caree. im good at spanish its gonna be alright#they can never take me down. im just too much of a silly individual to be taken down#wow normally i can't sleep because sadness but right now i can't sleep because happiness#sigh . shakes you chews on you#(affectionate)
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how do i do it though. how do i let go of the bitterness and the hardness when they kept me "okay" for so long? does it come when i finally leave? can it ever?
#babes i actually relate to the frigid angry woman more than im comfortable with but this time there's no prince coming to save her and idk#i was never beautiful but i was and am angry and capable and that's served me well but being angry is exhausting#it's a birthright i can't give to a younger sibling. it doesn't transfer.#i dont inspire devotion. there's no version of this that ends with me waltzing with a true love.#im not the type you launch a thousand ships for.#so what's left?#who am i when i have no one? when ive spent my life making *me* less to make others more? when im nothing but a useful piece of furniture.#i know God loves me! i love Him! but it's not the same. i want *people* to love me. i want to be someone that theyd fight for.#im feeling that 'women have minds and hearts but im so lonely' scene from little women 2019 so much right now.#except im not jo. my family loves me but theyd never do for me what jo's would do for her. theyre also all focused on surviving.#i feel like a military ration. there to be consumed but cast aside the moment something more palatable comes around.#how do i become consumed with joy? how do i let go of the cynicism? its all thats kept me safe! but its choking me too.#its like tony stark in iron man 2. the thing thats kept me alive this far is killing me. i need to find an alternative but its looking like#ill have to synthesize a new element to make it happen and that freaks me out.#ive always been derivative. never an individual. how do i become a trailblazer when my job was always to hold the hand of the one blazing#the trail? how do i become myself happy and free?#because i WANT to be more#i WANT to be more than anger and coldness and a useful idiot. i WANT to be me and be so so happy#but i dont know how to get there#and if someone suggests therapy im shooting you. i dont want to listen to one more person pretend to care about me and tell me#all the things i need to change and spend even longer not learning how to think for myself#i want to be more than this. but i also cant stand the thought of taking up any more space than i do#anyway.#anyone who's read all this thank you and i promise im fine im just in my feelings today lol#im going to work out and get some happy brain chemicals flowing and then ill take a shower and itll all be good.#please dont worry about me! im just having A Moment TM#lilac rambles
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#i will warn you only once: tsc spoilers#literally just finished it as i am drafting this its 5am where i live#so you may be subjected to some nonsense#that all being said i have thoughts.and feelings#the kevin was lovely and tasted delicious! jean defending him at every turn even when he swears to hell and back he'll kick his ass#the kevjean was surprising i was only half expecting that#the dog metaphors i have to say i need this one cashed in. nora run me my check#im joking of course dont quote me on it#jean taking kevins promise to the end and living on it is seriously so. well.#'be careful with him' 'take kevin's name out of your ignorant mouth' 'you promised me'#also kevin getting called the court's queen had me tender and on my back oml#jean's relationship with the trojans is sweet and he is very interesting and complicated#a character with many moving parts im sure#there were a few things i did not care for#namely jeremy and the trojans felt remarkably flat to me bar lucas (by far the most interesting) and catalina on occasion#i didnt quite enjoy jeremy's pov and felt like he spent perhaps way too much time worrying over jean? if that makes sense#i wish he had some more complexity to him or really anything to catch a hook on#all we know is hes attractive and smiley and gets along terribly with his family#so much of his character is sucked out by jean he didnt feel like much more than a plot device to me#which i wouldnt mind if jeremy wasnt the literal main character alongside jean#i was living for everything jean thought but had to drag myself through jeremy's pov if im honest#uuuuh what else. neil! funny. deranged. i have to love him#andrew couldnt give less of a fuck about jean which is funny as all fuck#two bugs placed in the same habitat ignoring each other#the thing with elodie i thought was complicated. i wish we knew some more about her or that shed been mentioned a little earlier#but im assuming thats a topic to be revisited#uuuuuuuh yeah so thats most of it. i think my first thought and the one that sticked out the most to me is that the book felt remarkably#pedestrian#not necessarily in a bad way#it lacked to me one of the main appeals of aftg which were the numerous interesting side characters
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