#i spent all my points on a different ramble post sorry

[cubbihue]

I'm combining my two favorite Peri HCs into one.

Re: What if he's repressing his magic but also he's got that magic drawback (magic chronic fatigue!!). Man spent most of his childhood with Too Much Power, and then it was capped; only for him to suffer the consequences after.

Something something gifted kid burnout allegory.

Bitties Series: [Start] > [Previous] > [Next]

[bekolxeram]

Idea/prompt by @jackmichaela, from this post. This is maybe not exactly what you're asking for, but I'm not good at rewriting scenes. I'm only good at filling in blanks so... I hope you like it.

Tommy usually hates hospital visits. They’re either heart-wrenching or tedious, no in between.

This time, it’s different. Since Hen delivered good news about Denny on the group chat, everyone seems so much more at ease: Evan is not scratching his face anymore, Eddie paces down his mission to destroy the whole bowl of Halloween candies, and sergeant Grant is talking to some teenagers at the reception desk. Tommy picks up a magazine next to him, USA Today, and starts flipping through it. Though he fails to focus on the celebrity interviews or the healthy diet tips in front of him, he is simply basking in the warm familial atmosphere around him.

Then everyone’s phone dings all at once again.

He looks up to find Eddie, struggling to contain his giggle.

“What’s happening this time?” Tommy asks. He scans around and see the rest of the 118 holding in a laugh, just like Eddie. They seem to be watching something on their phone with earbuds in, a smart and considerable choice in a hospital lobby, but Tommy has no clue about the origin of their amusement.

“Oh… oh, it’s nothing. Just a funny cat video.” Evan interjects, face turning red.

“Evan?” Tommy suspects.

“You can take mine. I was there anyway, I’ve seen it all.” Eddie hands Tommy his phone, with a devilish smirk on his face. Evan shoots him a death glare in return.

On Eddie’s phone screen, Tommy sees two clips sent to the 118 group chat, both of them prominently feature Evan’s face in the thumbnail.

“Please don’t do this. I was high on medications.” Evan pleads.

“It’s okay. I swear I won’t hold your intoxicated speeches against you. I just want to be part of the gang this time.” Tommy smiles softly at his boyfriend, then kisses him on a relatively unaffected patch of skin on his cheek.

Tommy presses play.

The first clip is a shaky video of Evan in an ambulance.

“Hey, how’re you feeling?” Eddie asks in the background.

“Muu-- better.” Evan slurs. “Uh, let me tell you a secret… I have a crush on someone….”

“Oh, tell me about it.” Eddie says jovially.

“He uh… tall, and hot, and big…” Evan sighs dreamily. “He’s strong, he used to be in the Army.” He points a finger at the camera.

“Well, I’m flattered, but I don’t really swing that w…”

“No! Ewww! You’re like a brother to me.”

“Ew? That’s a little harsh. I mean, I’m not that bad looking, right?”

“Naaaaaaaa? You’re attractive too? You’re just not the man of my dream.”

“And… who’s that guy exactly?” Eddie asks with a guiding question?

“It’s Tah – Tah – ”

“Tah – ?”

“Tarzan!” Evan exclaims. “He’s got big hands, big biceps the size of my head, a big heart, and… those V-shaped lines leading from his super cut abs to his giant d…” Evan is almost drooling.

“Okay, okay, that’s enough for me.” Eddie stops him before he can get too explicit with his ode.

“You’re homophobic!”

“Wait, what? You said it, I’m your brother. I just don’t want to know too much about my brother’s sex life.”

“I just spent too much time not living my life to its fullest, because of ignorant people.” Evan laments.

“I’m sorry, man. I didn’t know how hard it was for y…”

“Meeeeeeeeee! I was the ignorant people… I didn’t realize how hot men were… I didn’t know how much I wanted to suck Tah...” Evan drags out his vowels, while trying to point at something in the air with his hands.

The video suddenly turns into a blur. “Alright, stop moving before you hurt yourself more.” Then it ends abruptly.

“Tarzan, huh?” Tommy turns to look at Evan. “Is that what you think of me?” Evan’s boils are as red as tomatoes by now.

“Fine! You’ve all had your fun. Now can you spare me from further embarrassment?” Evan requests, trying to hide his blushing cheeks under the collar of his jacket.

“You know very well that as a firefighter,” Chimney cuts in, “drugged up ramblings are required to be public knowledge by law. For transparency’s sake and as entertainment for other first responders,” He laughs, gesturing for Tommy to play the next clip.

The second clip starts with Evan in the hospital room.

“Tell me more about your crush, Tarzan.” Eddie demands, again, in the background.

“What? Who’s Tarzan? I said Tommy.” Evan replies, with much less slurring in his speech this time.

Eddie seems to have clocked the sedation weaning off, “Um… You’re back with us, Buck? How’s the pain? Do you need me to call the nurse…”

“What? Are you out of your mind? It’s Tommy! Did Chili Oils wipe your memories too?” Evan furrows his brows, with a deeply confused expression. “Tommy! My husband!”

“Umm… when did you get married?” Eddie asks, just as confused.

“At Maddie’s wedding. No! Wait! We weren’t married yet. I only thought about it back then! When he came to me still in his turnouts and soot all over his face I just…” Evan says with an enamored smile. “Wait, where am I? Am I in the hospital? Why am I here?”

“I’m just gonna call the nurse…”

“I’m getting married here! Like Chimney! Eddie, you got me into some bachelor party shenanigans and I end up having to marry the love of my life here!”

“I didn’t…”

“Do I look good? No, wait, I’m naked! I need a suit!” Evan pats all over his own body with both hands.

“Stop! Don’t move your bad arm!” Eddie tries stopping him. Then the clip starts getting blurry again.

“I’m marrying Tommy with my birthday suit! Like the ancient Greek! Do I look good, Eddie? Are my pecs popping under this cover?”

“Yeah, yeah, sure, now stop flailing around.” Eddie says before the video ends.

Evan puts his face into his hands, flustered and embarrassed. “You’re happy now?”

“Of course I am. That’s payback for making me listen to your graphic description of your love life under sedation.” Eddie frowns.

“Well, I think that’s very cute.” Tommy interrupts. “We’re in no hurry to get married but… I appreciate you blurting out your attraction to me, unlike our first date…”

“Shut up!” Evan hides his head on Tommy’s shoulder to avoid the inevitable teasing.

“Make me.” Tommy responds.

Evan simply looks his boyfriend deep in the eyes and kisses him, softly but deeply.

“Hi, thanks for being here. Denny’s awake, you can go see him now if you want to.” Hen comes out to update the 118 family. “Especially you, Tommy. The first thing Denny asked was for the cool pilot who’s good at painting to draw the most badass helicopter on his cast.” Hen asks Tommy, with the exhaustion and relief of a previously worrying mother in her eyes.

“Of course.” Tommy replies.

[empty-movement]

May I ask what scanners / equipment / software you're using in the utena art book project? I'm an artist and half the reason I rarely do traditional art is because I'm never happy with the artwork after it's scanned in. But the level of detail even in the blacks of Utena's uniform were all captured so beautifully! And even the very light colors are showing up so well! I'd love to know how you manage!

You know what's really fun? This used to be something you put in your site information section, the software and tools used! Not something that's as normal anymore, but let's give it a go, sorry it's long because I don't know what's new information and what's not! Herein: VANNA'S 'THIS IS AS SPECIFIC AS MY BREAK IS LONG' GUIDE/AIMLESS UNEDITED RAMBLE ABOUT SCANNING IMAGES

Scanning: Modern scanners, by and large, are shit for this. The audience for scanning has narrowed to business and work from home applications that favor text OCR, speed, and efficiency over archiving and scanning of photos and other such visual media. It makes sense--there was a time when scanning your family photographs and such was a popular expected use of a scanner, but these days, the presumption is anything like that is already digital--what would you need the scanner to do that for? The scanner I used for this project is the same one I have been using for *checks notes* a decade now. I use an Epson Perfection V500. Because it is explicitly intended to be a photo scanner, it does threebthings that at this point, you will pay a niche user premium for in a scanner: extremely high DPI (dots per inch), extremely wide color range, and true lossless raws (BMP/TIFF.) I scan low quality print media at 600dpi, high quality print media at 1200 dpi, and this artbook I scanned at 2400 dpi. This is obscene and results in files that are entire GB in size, but for my purposes and my approach, the largest, clearest, rawest copy of whatever I'm scanning is my goal. I don't rely on the scanner to do any post-processing. (At these sizes, the post-processing capacity of the scanner is rendered moot, anyway.) I will replace this scanner when it breaks by buying another identical one if I can find it. I have dropped, disassembled to clean, and abused this thing for a decade and I can't believe it still tolerates my shit. The trade off? Only a couple of my computers will run the ancient capture software right. LMAO. I spent a good week investigating scanners because of the insane Newtype project on my backburner, and the quality available to me now in a scanner is so depleted without spending over a thousand on one, that I'd probably just spin up a computer with Windows 7 on it just to use this one. That's how much of a difference the decade has made in what scanners do and why. (Enshittification attacks! Yes, there are multiple consumer computer products that have actually declined in quality over the last decade.)

Post-processing: Photoshop. Sorry. I have been using Photoshop for literally decades now, it's the demon I know. While CSP is absolutely probably the better piece of software for most uses (art,) Photoshop is...well it's in the name. In all likelihood though, CSP can do all these things, and is a better product to give money to. I just don't know how. NOTENOTENOTE: Anywhere I discuss descreening and print moire I am specifically talking about how to clean up *printed media.* If you are scanning your own painting, this will not be a problem, but everything else about this advice will stand! The first thing you do with a 2400 dpi scan of Utena and Anthy hugging? Well, you open it in Photoshop, which you may or may not have paid for. Then you use a third party developer's plug-in to Descreen the image. I use Sattva. Now this may or may not be what you want in archiving!!! If fidelity to the original scan is the point, you may pass on this part--you are trying to preserve the print screen, moire, half-tones, and other ways print media tricks the eye. If you're me, this tool helps translate the raw scan of the printed dots on the page into the smooth color image you see in person. From there, the vast majority of your efforts will boil down to the following Photoshop tools: Levels/Curves, Color Balance, and Selective Color. Dust and Scratches, Median, Blur, and Remove Noise will also be close friends of the printed page to digital format archiver. Once you're happy with the broad strokes, you can start cropping and sizing it down to something reasonable. If you are dealing with lots of images with the same needs, like when I've scanned doujinshi pages, you can often streamline a lot of this using Photoshop Actions.

My blacks and whites are coming out so vivid this time because I do all color post-processing in Photoshop after the fact, after a descreen tool has been used to translate the dot matrix colors to solids they're intended to portray--in my experience trying to color correct for dark and light colors is a hot mess until that process is done, because Photoshop sees the full range of the dots on the image and the colors they comprise, instead of actually blending them into their intended shades. I don't correct the levels until I've descreened to some extent.

As you can see, the print pattern contains the information of the original painting, but if you try to correct the blacks and whites, you'll get a janky mess. *Then* you change the Levels:

If you've ever edited audio, then dealing with photo Levels and Curves will be familiar to you! A well cut and cleaned piece of audio will not cut off the highs and lows, but also will make sure it uses the full range available to it. Modern scanners are trying to do this all for you, so they blow out the colors and increase the brightness and contrast significantly, because solid blacks and solid whites are often the entire thing you're aiming for--document scanning, basically. This is like when audio is made so loud details at the high and low get cut off. Boo.

What I get instead is as much detail as possible, but also at a volume that needs correcting:

Cutting off the unused color ranges (in this case it's all dark), you get the best chance of capturing the original black and white range:

In some cases, I edit beyond this--for doujinshi scans, I aim for solid blacks and whites, because I need the file sizes to be normal and can't spend gigs of space on dust. For accuracy though, this is where I'd generally stop.

For scanning artwork, the major factor here that may be fucking up your game? Yep. The scanner. Modern scanners are like cheap microphones that blow out the audio, when what you want is the ancient microphone that captures your cat farting in the next room over. While you can compensate A LOT in Photoshop and bring out blacks and whites that scanners fuck up, at the end of the day, what's probably stopping you up is that you want to use your scanner for something scanners are no longer designed to do well. If you aren't crazy like me and likely to get a vintage scanner for this purpose, keep in mind that what you are looking for is specifically *a photo scanner.* These are the ones designed to capture the most range, and at the highest DPI. It will be a flatbed. Don't waste your time with anything else.

Hot tip: if you aren't scanning often, look into your local library or photo processing store. They will have access to modern scanners that specialize in the same priorities I've listed here, and many will scan to your specifications (high dpi, lossless.)

Ahem. I hope that helps, and or was interesting to someone!!!

[jmdbjk]

Camping: one bed.

WARNING: CONTINUED POSSIBLE SPOILER ALERT! I may or may not mention "Are You Sure?" scenes in detail and their outcomes during these long rambling messy posts beginning with the next sentence.

I am 100% certain

Snuggle

happened. I need tumblr to make it possible to use different fonts on one line.

But first. Dinner was cooked.

Reminded me of this... sorry to digress.

That darn glare on the camera:

Jungkook immediately washed his hands after touching Jimin's tongue... don't blame him, I really wouldn't want those kinds of cooties from Jimin either. I love you Jimin but I don't want your stomach bug. Sorry.

Whatever the hell this was...

Jimin had a soaking the meat in the sauce scolding from Jungkook years ago. Okay.

Dinner is served.

There was a moment when perhaps an oops was edited out. Did Jimin mention a brand name accidentally?

They got a kick out of whatever he said because then they recalled that time Tae kept saying brand names during their live back in LA.

JK's face was incredulous like "wtf dude shut up"

Some members were called.

There was a comment about making Tae and Namjoon speak to each other... ??? What in the name of spillage of tea and inside jokes was this about?

Jungkook Facetimes Tae.

So is this where Tae finds out Jimin and JK are doing a travel show? And was JK worried Tae would start saying something about not getting to ride motorbikes? HAHAHAHHAAA welp... we don't know what that was all about.

JK hanging up on Tae was priceless.

Tae cusses him out via text and JK tries to de-escalate with "i love you". JK thought it was hilarious. I wonder if it is not often he gets the upper hand in this dynamic? The push and pull has not abated.

Yoongi's deadpan "what?" when Jimin called: tell me you get a lot of frivolous phone calls from Park Jimin without telling me you get a lot of frivolous and pointless calls from Park Jimin.

Some reflecting happens...

Jimin says regardless of how its going so far, he thinks its good he came so Jungkook could travel around and relax as he embarks on his first solo promotions. Jungkook says he is grateful and Jimin says he has regrets and Jungkook brushes it off. Just enjoy it now he says. I think this is the moment they both relax and they are back in their groove. Jungkook really needs quality time with his Jimin. Just enjoy... finally... that's where JK is at this point.

Finally, lights out. There's a camera in there but its too dark... we only hear this:

Jimin: "You seem cold, Jungkook. Come here." (I suspect Jimin may be running a temp at this time)

Jungkook: "I'll sleep without the blanket." (In an attempt to make Jimin comfortable.)

Jimin: "Come here, Jungkook." (insisting)

They were sleeping in very close proximity. It's a miracle if JK did not catch the stomach bug too.

The snoring that is loud enough you can actually hear it even with the music track and sound effects playing:

MMA elbows flew in the night and Jimin got smacked in the nose. It even swoll up a bit. Also, more diarrhea. My man didn't get much sleep. He was miserable.

Crew delivers pepto, JK pours a dose but does Jimin down it? We aren't sure because we don't see it. My man... please help yourself out of this (literal) mess. Though we only see the pepto being delivered I will assume other precautions were taken in that they made him drink plenty of fluids, took his temp, contemplated whether to abort the mission, etc. Knowing Jimin, he declined that last option.

Jungkook: "you came all the way here for nothing but pain."

Jimin: "I came so far ... smacked by your elbow... stomach bug... I can't even eat... and I had a fever, why am I even here? it gets sadder by the moment..."

They were laughing about it. What else could they do? It was a genuine moment.

So Jimin slept while Jungkook made himself some coffee.

Me either, Jungkook. Need coffee.

And spent some time building a rock cairn tower so he could send up some wishes to the universe. That was something else.

It was such a precious thing to watch.

Please no falling in the water, no explosive diarrhea, no broken bones or loss of blood... well... that last one though... little did they know.

In my opinion, even though Jimin was struggling with his illness, the activities were healing and bonding. We'll have to wait for the behinds to see what else happened. I wonder if they will release that this week or wait and drop them after the final episode in September.

Regardless, I am thankful for this window we get to see them together, after two years of knowing Jimin was working so hard and seeing Jungkook light up time after time, wanting to see him, especially the first half of 2023.

They are together right this minute, though they are the most isolated members of the group from whatever is happening. Not knowing how much information they are able to receive about what's going on, I know they will at least have each other to talk to until things get resolved.

On to Episode 2...

[visionofvoid]

How the Drivers React to Seeing/Meeting You For the First Time - Part Two

George Russell:

“They’ll let anyone in here.” Lewis joked to an unknown woman beside George as they walked through the hall to make it to a strategic meeting and expectations on the track for the new year. Lewis was a legend in the game, quite literally a world champion though they needed to work harder if they wanted to earn Mercedes the title of Constructors Champion and get points for the new season. George? He was still newish, he was still trying to navigate his way through his role, especially when his teammate was the one and only Lewis Hamilton. 

“Lewis!” The girl seemed as if she was full of energy, Toto nodding at his two drivers in acknowledgement before looking back to the strange woman, a fond look on his face. “It’s been so long!” She had a slight accent, reminiscent of Toto’s. She seemed warm, like she cared to make a positive impact with everyone she had ever met. She had this radiant energy that George felt drawn to, and he wasn’t too sure how to feel about that given she was a stranger to him. 

“Well maybe if you visited your father more.” Toto jokes, the girl rolling her eyes as Lewis chuckled and embraced her.  

“Father?”

“Ah yes, you must be George. I’m Olive, Olive Wolff.”

Valtteri Bottas:

Tiffany Cromwell and Valtteri Bottas were a well known couple in the Formula One world, so, when the two decided to end their relationship everyone was shocked. It was rather amicable but Valtteri spent a lot of his free time healing, beginning to get used to being alone, and starting to fall in love with himself more. The two had remained close friends; nothing would ever change the love the two shared for one another, they just wished for different things in their lives and that was normal, that was okay. So, when Valtteri decided he wanted to put himself out there again, he called on for some advice from the closest female he knew that wasn’t family; Tiffany. 

Valtteri stood on the podium, his first P3 of the season in the third race of the season and he felt absolutely over the moon. He was in a new car in a new team and was just thrilled. He felt as if there was some luck out there for him, someone there to cheer him on. After all the interviews and the post race press conference he finally had some time to celebrate with his friends, team and everyone that worked behind the scenes and other celebrities that were in the city. 

“Valtteri!” The Finnish man turned, hearing the familiar feminine voice over all the others as he walked into the bar. Tiffany, with a drink in her hand, bounced on her feet towards Valtteri, leaving a friend awkwardly standing to herself. She embraced him, clearly a couple of drinks deep but excited to see him nonetheless. He chuckled as she pulled away, a pink flush on her cheeks. “I’m here to set you up with my girlfriend! You’ll love her!” He turned to the female that was making her way over, her cheeks also flushed but from the embarrassment of Tiffany’s statement. Valtteri noticed she was wearing a casual dress, not overly dressed up like everyone else in the bar. Just comfortable, though she still looked gorgeous, that much he knew. 

“I’m so sorry! I tried to get some water into her.” The friend apologised, taking the drink Tiffany was waving around out of her hand. “I’m not some groupie, by the way. Tiffany has made it her mission to find me someone. God, that makes me sound so desperate!” Her cheeks continued to flush a rosy colour, even under the dim lighting of the bar. Valtteri had he fair share of women clinging onto him for their five seconds of fame but this a thousand times different. “We were there, cheering you on. Though I must confess I wasn’t too sure what was happening. Tiffany, come on, everyone wants to say hello to hi-” Tiffany rolled her eyes, taking the drink back. 

“May I buy you a drink?” Valtteri chuckled at the duo, interrupting the woman’s nervous but rather cut rambling.

“Yes, of course she wants a drink, Bottas.”

Mick Schumacher:

To Whom it May Concern

Mick rose an eyebrow as he sorted through his mail, spotting a handwritten note. He didn’t believe it to be fan mail as it all got sent to another location that he picked up on a fortnightly basis and he kept his private life and address very out of the limelight, so he continued reading.

I am your new next door neighbour. My name is Josephine Kruger, I have all the horses you can probably see shitting in the field. I’m writing this note to apologise in advance if you hear my new pup barking at night or if he gets out into your property, the bastard is an escape artist. 

Here is my number if Nigel (the dog, a black labrador) gets out and wanders onto your property. I’m working on it. 

Apologies in advance.

Mick chuckled at the note before leaving it on the bench to sort through the rest of his mail. He made himself busy around the house before he decided to take some trash out to the bins, opening the door to see a black labrador puppy sitting on the top step, his tail wagging happily. His tongue hung out his mouth sloppily and his ears looked much too large for his head. He still had a lot of growing to do. Mick chuckled as he bent down, holding out his hand for the pup to sniff before he deemed Mick safe enough to jump up, asking for pets and scratches. 

Mick didn’t have pets of his own, especially when he travelled so much for work so he embraced the love he was receiving from the pup, picking him up. Nigel looked minuscule in his arms, twisting around so he was on his back, his paws in the hair and his tongue, once again, hanging out of his mouth. 

“Nigel? Oh goodness!” Mick looked up as he heard frantic yelling, the female presumably his new next door neighbour that he was yet to meet. He walked down the steps, looking down at Nigel whose ears seemed to perk up when he heard his name called by his owner. 

“Let’s go find your human.” Mick mumbled, walking down the path that led to his horseshoe shaped driveway, the sound of shoes hitting the pebbled driveway, coming closer with every second. Mick glanced up as he saw the figure of Josephine round the corner, her hair up in a rather messy bun that looked more like a mushroom cloud than anything else. She had a helmet in one hand and a leash in the other. 

“Nigel! God, I am so sorry!” Josephine was embarrassed to say the least. Her next door neighbour was gorgeous and here she was in a pair of riding boots, a dirty shirt and shorts with sweat dripping off her, running after her escape artist dog. “I cannot apologise enough.” Nigel almost seemed as if he was ignoring his owner, turning in Mick’s arms and hiding his face in the gap between his arm and chest. 

“No, no! It’s not a problem, honestly. He’s welcome here anytime. I’m Mick, I’m not home much.”

“I’m Josephine. I’m home too much.”

Pierre Gasly:

You've got a new match!

Serena looked at the notification on her phone, sliding it open to see what new man she had matched with now. She was in sunny Australia, having just finished an extra credit trip to help assist Indigenous Australian elders, archeologists and anthropologists in rural Victoria unearth the remains of a small family or tribe and now she was in a hotel in Melbourne flying out back to gloomy England in two days time. She had some steam she needed to blow off. 

She scrolled through the profile, noticing that the man she matched with was not from Australia which was perfect because it made one night stands just that much easier. His photos consisted of him in what looked as if to be luxurious sports cars, with his friends drinking wine in fancy restaurants and lots of motorsport pictures, not that she cared about the sport in the slightest. His profile had no other bio except for ‘In Melbourne for the weekend’. So, she bit the bullet and sent a message. 

How far away from the Pullman Hotel in Albert Park are you?

She waited no more than a few minutes to get a response. 

Pierre weighed up all his options before coming to his final decision. She could be a massive fan girl for all he knew, but then she could also be someone that was oblivious to who he was. She was stunning, that much he could tell from the photos. She didn’t appear to edit them at all. They were mainly images of her with what he assumed to be her dogs, her family and friends and photos of her travelling. He would be happy to spend a few hours with her. Quickly googling the hotel he found that he was only a five minute walk away. 

Five minute walk, give or take. 

I’m room 412. Message me when you get here.

Say less, Pierre thought. 

Kevin Magnussen:

After three seasons away, Nico Hulkenberg was back driving for Haas alongside former rival, Kevin Magnussen. It also meant it was three seasons since Nico’s younger sister was at a Grand Prix and back behind the scenes helping her brother. She was last to be introduced to everyone, this time as someone on Nico’s PR team rather than his little sister, and she was the last to formally meet Kevin.

The two had both undertaken a number of changes since the last time they were at the same event. Kevin was now divorced, a devoted father and now a close friend with his teammate, Nico. Lena was now a university graduate, just getting over a heartbreak from a stupid boy and was much more mature, both in her mannerisms and in her appearance. She seemed like a whole other person, at least to Kevin. 

“I look forward to working alongside the team, alongside Guenther, the engineers, the event planners, the mechanics, everyone. Thank you, Nico, for this opportunity and Kevin?” Kevin looked up from his beer, offering a sly smirk to Lena as she stared down at him. She looked ravenous and it was dangerous that the sole purpose of this dinner was to celebrate the start of a new season with an open bar. God, the things he wanted to do to her. He nodded, waiting for her response. “If you get into another PR nightmare like in 2017 with Nico, respectfully, suck my balls.” She sent him a wink that was enough to make Kevin feel hot, slightly turned on. Guenther let out a roar of laughter, everyone holding up their drinks to cheer. 

He was in for a long night.

[crazylittlejester]

Hehe hello hello

Would you be interested in yapping a bit more about Warriors and Time's/Mask's brother relationship?

Please plase share more headcannons with me

HELL yeah dawg I gotchu, these two are my favorites I can yap about em all day every day (sorry for answering late I wanted to save this for after my exam alskddkd. also my apologies if this makes ZERO sense, and my bad for spelling mistakes or oddly autocorrected words 😔)

So, this is just my personal headcanon and a bit about how I write them and I’m just taking this as an opportunity to ramble hehe but here you go, a peak inside my brain!!:

One thing that’s super important to me in writing is names. Names carry with them identity almost, and while Time and Mask are one person and Wars and ‘Captain’ (because i hc that’s what Mask called him instead of Link all the time) are also the same person, they are very different in the sense that trauma and recovery and just aging in general impacts identity and shit. They are the same exact people, but their relationship with each other was pretty different at different points in time and the way they view each other has changed

'Captain' to Mask was a father figure, an older brother he argued with and teased, but ultimately someone who he looked up to. He didn't WANT 'Captain' to ever be wrong about anything, and he COULD see his flaws and his arrogance but he didn't want to acknowledge it because he just so fucking desperately needed a safe adult who could always be right no matter what because after so long of being lost and overwhelmed, some part of him really just wanted stability. He’s not one to blindly trust nor is he stupid, but a part of Mask ignored how arrogant Link got because he needed someone to be perfect

Mask is 'Captain's' kid almost, that's how he views him. That's his child, he doesn't think of HIMSELF as a father, he thinks of Mask as a little brother, but that's his kid nonetheless. He doesn't want Mask to see him struggle, he doesn't want Mask to see he's not okay, he doesn't want Mask to realize how absolutely AWFUL his life is because he's hell bent on giving his kid a good growing environment despite the fact they're in a war

Time, now in his thirties, is able to look at Warriors and see his flaws, he's able to look at him and see a very hurt, very traumatized young man. He's reached a point of emotional maturity and confidence where he doesn't need to have a person who can just be safe for him all the time. He does still find safety and comfort Wars, but he doesn't like, NEED it the way ‘Mask’ did. Because Mask was (to me) like mentally 15 years old living in a 10 yo’s body at the start of that war and he was just so goddamn tired he just needed someone else to call the shots sometimes. That doesn’t mean he wasn’t still a bit argumentative, or that Time still doesn’t like being bossed around, but Time has had time to chill and sort his life out and it’s easier for him to take a deep breath and use his brain than it was when he was a kid. (I did a whole post ages ago on depression and how it commonly manifests as anger in kids and yeah something something I do think Time has a short temper still but he has coping mechanisms now and he’s better at dealing with it)

Warriors is able to look at Time and still see his kid, he still sees Mask, but he can also acknowledge that Time spent 20 years growing up without him and is now a good decade older than he is. He can realize that he doesn't HAVE to hide everything from Time, Time can be a safe person for him to lean on because he’s no longer this traumatized child Warriors has to ‘protect’. He can be a hell of a lot more real with Time than he ever was with Mask because he no longer feels guilty about trauma dumping on a child. More real smiles, more real emotions, more real tears. They help each other heal, it's no longer as one sided

But despite this separation and distinction they are still able to recognize the other as just one person. Separate, but one at the same time. Wars can think of his brother and in his mind refer to him AS Mask, but (in a stable mental state) completely acknowledge that as Time. Calling him Mask is literally just a force of habit, he can call him Mask and still acknowledge this is a 30 something yo man. Time can call Wars 'Captain' and be aware he's talking to the 27 yo in front of him and not that poor kid trying to be hero and guardian at the same time.

However 'Captain' in Time's mind became almost like... a character...? That's his big brother he rambled on and on to Malon about. That's his big brother he loves more than anything in the world. That's the person he looked up to even after having left the war. It's almost a version of Wars that's not even real because it’s the version of him that was presented to Mask and then preserved after they parted. It’s Wars through the eyes of a child who adored him. But it's not like the way the people in Wars's kingdom idealize him. The people in Wars's kingdom look at this child and see a knight in shining armor come to save them, or a brat who started this damn mess. They turn him into something he isn't and kinda dehumanize him because it makes it easier for them to send a child to war. Whether they like him or not, they have an idealized version of their hero in their minds, based off what front Warriors himself put up or their own dislike. But Mask’s old version of ‘Captain’ was born from pure love for his brother, like those hero essays 3rd graders write about their personal heroes and they choose to write about their dad and how they see him. ‘Captain’ was a hero to Mask in a MUCH different way than he was for everyone else, and meeting Wars again was a huge shock for him because was forced to look at this person through the eyes of an adult

'Captain' is his big strong older brother who will always be there for him and who is bad ass and epic, Wars is just... a man, and Time HAS now put them in his mind as the same person. His captain isn't as perfect and infallible as he thought he was but thats okay he doesn't give a shit he loves him anyway. This pillar of strength for him, his captain, is cracked and has been this whole time despite his younger self’s inability to see that completely (because he DID know something was wrong, just not the full extent of it), and maybe even directly because of how his view of his brother has changed, he’s able to love and support him even more

For the most part in my writing Time only ever refers to Warriors as “Captain” or “Link”, even in the LU ‘present day’, not because he can’t see how he’s changed but because that title to him carries more of a realness to it. Despite how it was that title he’d associated his idealized version of his brother, Warriors himself views himself more as a captain than a hero. Because he IS a captain and that’s a rank he earned for himself, but he doesn’t feel right calling himself a hero. Similarly Wars rarely calls Time ‘Time’, because in my headcanon Mask didn’t reveal himself as the Hero of Time. That’s a huge ass title to live up to, and he felt like people would be disappointed to know some scrawny kid was the huge historical figure they’d created perfect versions of in their minds. ‘Hero of Masks’ brought safety with it, and while Wars rarely calls him Mask (less frequently than Time calls him Captain), that name feels more like who he actually is. Not only was it something his brother called him, but it just feels safer and just- More intimate I guess. And him calling Wars ‘Captain’ is also partly instinct and more his title than anything else, every time Time calls him that it’s making the real version of his brother more permanent in his mind, with all of his flaws and all the little weird things about him that Time had forgotten over the years

AGAIN SORRY IF THIS MAKES NO GODDAMN SENSE I LIKE TO RAMBLE AND MY HEAD HURTS AND I STARTED SPACING OUT A BIT SO IDK HOW MUCH I REPEATED MYSELF BUT THANKS FOR THE ASK I LOVE TO YAP ABOUT THESE TWO

this is just them to me :)

[honey-comb-xox]

Greened out

Nick Sturniolo x male!stoner!reader

Warnings: Weed, greening out, throwing up, peer pressure, driving while high (don't do that brothers!! Be safe!) - sorry if i missed anything pls lmk if I did!!

A/n: y’all be gentle w this one it’s my first actual writing that isn’t a joke 😭

Summary: y/n greens-out 😶‍🌫️

_

Y/n sighed as he leaned further back in the lawn chair he found himself in about 3 hours ago. The hot summer air in L.A. was completely different then what he was used to in New York, for some reason it just made blunts hit 10x better.

“Dude you gonna hog that shit or fuckin pass it” 

Y/n snaps out of his daze and keeps the smoke circle going, it had been a stressful day. The majority of his day so far has been spent running errands, bringing Nick back and forth to the post office for Space Camp orders, and making sure the Triplets didn’t starve while signing cards for their 6 mil merch drop. It doesn’t sound like a whole lot, but it was definitely draining. Hence the predicament he’s in now.

“Bruh I got one more blunt! Who’s up for a third?”

“Nah man i’m good i gotta drive back to Nicks soon” 

“Dude look it’s skinny as shit you’ll be fine, unless you’re pussy”

“Seriously man, i’m not falling for your shit right now”

Y/n did in fact fall for his shit again. Which has led him to his current predicament of how the hell he was supposed to get home, if this was any other area in town then he’d just leave his car. But of course it wasn’t and on top of all that there was not a single sober person he trusted to drive his car to Nicks. There’s really only one option…

“Alright guys I think imma head out” Y/n groaned while stretching up

“Be careful driving back man!”

Y/n sighs as he starts his car preparing for a long ride back home.

~Timeskip~

Y/n stumbles out of his car while trudging up to the front door. After messing with his keys for a few minutes he finally finds the key Nick gifted him a couple of weeks back. 

“Nick! I’m back!” Y/n exclaimed

“Hey! Matt and Chris just went out to get dinner. Did you eat?” Nick says going in for a hug.

“Nah I just got back from Jetts place”

“Yeah I can tell. How much did you guys smoke?” Nick coughs from the stench of weed radiating of off Y/n

“I don’t know…like three, 2 ½ blunts” Y/n responds nonchalantly 

“THREE? Please don’t tell me you drove back here right after”

“Well I didn’t really have a choice. I couldn’t just leave my car there” At this point that ‘mini’ blunt is starting to hit a lot more than Y/n expected it to. Nick keeps rambling on, but this all goes through one ear and out the other because now it’s either he focuses on what Nicks saying or not throwing up.

“Are you even listening to me right now? You know what, whatever just tell me what you want from Canes so I can tell Matt and Chris”

“Nah I’m good I think, I actually gotta go to the bathroom real quick” Y/n paled. The thought of food was enough to send him over the edge.

Nick looks questionably at his boyfriend, but then brushes it off and rolls his eyes. The moment of silence is broken by groans from the bathroom.

“Babe you okay?” Nick hollers

Y/n doesn’t respond. 

“Babe!” Nick shouts once again

Again no response. Nick runs to the bathroom to find his boyfriend curled up near the toilet.

“Oh my god! Babe are you okay?” 

Y/n only groans in response. Nick sits down and rubs his back soothingly. Y/n goes to turn to Nick only to find the room rapidly spinning around him which only furthers his nausea. This carries on for another 5 minutes.

“Oh my god. I’m never smoking weed again” Y/n whines while slumping against Nick

“Yeah right, I’m gonna go grab you some water and your toothbrush from my room” Nick laughs

Y/n nods, while adjusting his position to lay on the cold tile . 

“Aww poor baby” Nick says smugly 

“Oh shush” Y/n says as he sits up against the bathtub 

“Seriously though, are you okay?” 

“Yea, I mean I’m still a little dizzy but the nausea is gone” Y/n yawns as he curls into Nick.

~Timeskip~

Chris runs up to the door without waiting for Matt.

“Dude seriously! Not even gonna grab the drinks or anything?” Matt hollers from the van.

“I getting the door for you, duh” Chris says meekly 

Chris goes back to the van to grab the drinks from Matt, and holds the door for his brother.

“Nick!! We’re back! We got food for Y/n too!” Matt yells as he passes the stairs.

“Matt look at this” Chris whispers 

Matt sets down the food on the counter, and heads over to Chris. The boys have their heads peeking into the bathroom only to find Nick and Y/n peacefully sleeping against the bathtub all snuggled up together.

“If they don’t wake up in like…thirty minutes then we’ll wake them up so their food doesn’t get too cold” Matt whispers to Chris

Then a sudden flash comes from Chris’ camera with the image of Nick holding Y/n in his arms sleepy glaring as his brothers. 

~

A/n: okay how was that? Again please be kind it’s my first time writing smth like this but if you have any tips for me i’m definitely open to suggestions!!

[cari-canes]

I recently reread Frankenstein after watching the Underverse Series and BOY do I have thoughts. I’m going to separate them into a few posts over a few days because it would actually be an essay if I put it all down in one post.

For now - I’ll leave quotes that I found most impactful from Frankenstein (and other gothic horror/horror) stories with a few of the characters from the Underverse Series.

Also - sorry for the bad grammar. I’m typing this on my phone at like midnight.

Ink: Life, although it may only be an accumulation of anguish, is dear to me, and I will defend it. (Frankenstein - Mary Shelley)

Obviously, Ink or Cross would be “the monster”. I think it’s even more fitting that although the “monster” never really has a name in the book, Mary Shelley did reference him as “Adam” in her earlier version. The “first born” creation. I think it’s very fitting, especially as Ink’s role, how his cannon role was formed, and what his new “goal” in the multiverse is.

Cross: I do know that for the sympathy of one living being, I would make peace with all. I have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine and rage the likes of which you would not believe. If I cannot satisfy the one, I will indulge the other. (Frankenstein - Mary Shelley)

OR

I ought to be thy Adam, but I am rather the fallen angel. (Frankenstein - Mary Shelley)

For Cross’ quote, I actually had a difficult time choosing which fit him better, so I went with both. Cross being one of XGasters creations who “breaks free” is just amazing. XGaster was so focused on perfection and trying to make his timeline perfect that he completely abandoned his creations in the meantime. This causes Cross to meet Ink, Dream, and eventually Nightmare and start his own reign of terror.

Dust/Killer: The fallen angel becomes a malignant devil. Yet even that enemy of God and man had friends and associates in his desolation; I am alone. (Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde - Robert Louis Stevenson)

A different book for the two killers felt fitting, especially considering Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde - at its core - is about addiction and loss. (It’s also a murder mystery but that’s besides the point). Both kill everyone in order to prevent another Gen*cide, but in doing so, allow themselves to be completely alone. (I’m also obsessed with the religious imagery but that’s another ramble for another day.)

Nightmare: To the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee. (Moby Dick - Herman Melville)

Obviously, Nightmare was going to be Captain Ahab from Moby Dick. He’s chasing a goal that’s frankly, nearly impossible. He let the corruption completely take over him “for hates sake”. (I also think this is something Nightmare would actually say in cannon).

Error: Quiet minds cannot be perplexed or frightened but go on in fortune or misfortune at their own private pace, like a clock during a thunderstorm. (Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde - Robert Louis Stevenson)

For Error, I had a very difficult time finding just one quote. He has so many complex layers to his character, especially in his own cannon. But I eventually landed on the Jekyll and Hyde quote, as I felt it resonated more with him. No matter what could or could not happen, he always has the antivoid to return to. The story of Jekyll and Hyde being about addiction and loneliness only made that point clearer for me, especially with the duality of man potentially paralleling the duality of Errors own psyche.

Fresh: Human madness is oftentimes a cunning and most feline thing. When you think it fled, it may have but become transfigured into some still subtler form. (Moby Dick - Herman Melville)

I think this is pretty self explanatory for Fresh.

Dream: When falsehood can look so like the truth, who can assure themselves of certain happiness? (Frankenstein - Mary Shelley)

Finally, Dream. He spent so long thinking that he was the one who killed his own brother, that the ‘truth’ was so painful that he couldn’t necessarily come to terms with it. His brother no longer exists and is instead consumed entirely by the corruption.

I think using gothic novels as a starting point, the Underverse - or at least the Undertale Multiverse could become a fascinating story about the connections between creation and creator, dark and light, and the pursuit of an unattainable goal.

[intervalart]

Shorthand AU Masterpost

So my brainrot has gotten so bad that I currently I have 5 AUs for The Idiot Cowboys. At this point they might as well be OCs because this is....... Ridiculous. I have never had this happen with any other series I've been into.

All of them are still WIPs, and anything is subject to change because I have no idea what I'm doing. (pic to break up the cut)

-Vampire/Werewolf (this one you already know); I use BBFF for short when referring to this. BBFF is short for Bark Bark Flap Flap, because I am garbage at naming things, lol (Masterpost here, and I will also post a short and simple summary comic I made for it when I get the chance)

This only happened cuz of the amount of research I've had to do to scientifically justify the supernatural elements in my mind. (there is a lot of science nonsense in here, ESPECIALLY around the vampire mechanics, believe me)

This is also a slowburn from hell, cuz they are both Very Bad at dying, to the point where they through the decades up to Near Future (for those not in the fandom, it's a wacky setting with robots and psychic powers and basically a kaiju fight. Y'know, just how the people in 1994 imagined 2014 would be) and they both are intended to have unique designs for that era too. (only MD is designed for that so far, will post later.)

---

-Fae AU; (I call it Lil Guys AU cuz again, awful with names) still set in the wild west, but it's kinda borrowercore with somewhat darker pepperings of Home Safety Hotline in terms of lore.

I'm working on a summary for that that I will post when it's ready, but it also has a lot of magic mechanics to it. However at this point it's mostly ramblings and whatever bullshit I doodled (and there is A LOT OF IT at this point, because this is the main one i have been scared of posting), and a lot of fic that I've not posted anywhere because I am TERRIFIED of sharing my writing, lmao.

Their relationship moves a lot faster in this one, probably because they're both facing The Horrors™ together that are under the surface of the fantasy facade, and they have to trust each other to survive. (Mostly because they are both silly little rat guys) This one is very much high risk, high return in terms of their relationship.

---

-Duende AU; This one, I literally stuck them in my own OG setting with my OCs (for all 5 of you who know it, it's Yukure's series, which i do need to post more of the lore for, sorry lol)

Essentially, Sundown is a normal guy/former sheriff due to being a suspect in an Unfortunate Event that befell his town in 2012 (The year which the main catalyst occurs in the series), but he was acquitted and sorta "honorably discharged" since he couldn't ever really face his job again (the investigation and trial dragged on for 5 years up to 2017, where the series takes place)

And here, MD is his "Duende" (sorta like being haunted by a ghost/having a Familiar, but they're also functionally a parasite on a host)

They have a similarly antagonistic relationship here, but it's a bit different here because Mad Dog thinks he's pretty much a normal, charming, handsome, witty, suave bounty hunter, who's not sure why he got stuck with some guy with ptsd and depression, and why he suddenly has weird cool powers, and now he's coping with essentially being a ghost/incorporeal.

---

-Vaudeville AU; this is not so much an AU as it is a continuation of canon

Essentially, MD finally catches Sunny after years of goin' at it, collects the bounty money, feels aimless and and horrible because he has no purpose in life. (a core factor here being a sense of loss because he knows he couldn't beat Sunny at his prime, he had to wait til age caught up with him, and he's realizing how much of his own life he spent on it and is Going Through It)

So he breaks Sunny out of jail, talk out their problems, and live the rest of their lives with the bounty money hiding from the law. (fake names, new aliases, everything)

The Vaudeville part comes in cuz MD eventually buys a theater with the reward money, and the setting takes place in the early 1930s as a LAL fan chapter which I keep meaning to write. (These two are really just minor characters in that setting but it's fun anyway lol)

They're in their 70s at this point, but they're still kickin!

---

-Roleswap; this is pretty much just what it says on the tin. If Mad Dog was the outlaw and Sundown was the bounty hunter.

I think MD is wanted for (allegedly) burning down a theater that he was performing in (in truth, the owner needed insurance money and blamed it on him)

This one in particular is fascinating, mostly because Sundown isn't dead inside.

He still has light in his eyes and people to protect. They survived the attack, but he still left town to draw attention away from them, and hunts bounties to survive. (he sends the money to them)

This one is probably the least developed, but still open ended for shenanigans. (I REALLY wanna make the designs for it too...)

[yoongihan]

Soooo what I’d been meaning to ask for was Han + ✊🏼 from the second prompt list, I feel that that might show a different side of him and I’d be curious to see you tackle that 👀

pairing: coworkerjisung x fem character

genre: fluff (but with a rather mean boss), workplace au

rating: PG/T (man, these drabbles are so sfw)

word count: ~1800

warnings: some belittling from a supervisor, a lot of internal thoughts on part of the mc, adoration of jisung (as per my usual), probably too much talking (it's my default writing style). I think this is pretty safe honestly. both jisung and mc are in their mid to late twenties.

a/n: my dearest @candlewaxandp0lar0ids. it's only after I've written this that I'm not even sure if he's actually being protective. so I'm sorry if I completely got this wrong. i heart you, though, and our random conversations that include just rambling about jisung.

original request post here

It's Just a Crush

Having a workplace crush is, in your mind, stupid as hell. You know it’s more than likely just because of proximity, the drama of meeting deadlines, late-night scrambles of finishing that one important project, and realizing you haven’t been out on a proper date in almost two years.

So, you recognize that your crush on Han Jisung is more due to circumstances than him.

Not that he isn’t a great guy. He works as hard as anyone on your team. He goes out of his way to lighten the mood, even when it’s way too intense because of the pressure of your bosses practically breathing down your necks. He never remembers anyone’s coffee order, but still buys an assortment of concoctions when it’s his turn to get coffee so that hopefully everyone can find something they like. He’s wicked smart and quick with ideas, and even when he zones out during the more boring practical stuff, he never minds when you remind him to pay attention. 

He usually blushes when you say something, but his smile is always bright.

He’s not always on your team when you have a project, but you are sure that when he is, the project turns out better. Maybe you just feel better. 

But it’s just a workplace crush. Other than the team sometimes going out for drinks after the final presentation, you’ve never spent time with Jisung socially. Usually, you sit across from him at the bar, knowing that more proximity will just make you crush on him even more. Not that getting to see his expressions, how he listens to the others or when he occasionally glances at you make the crush any less. But surely, watching him is better than being near him?

You think you have this dumb af crush under control. Even when you have one too many drinks out, you haven’t said anything too revealing. Maybe you were a little flirty two weeks ago when you said something about his eyes. But everyone was talking about the best features on a person and though you have a long list for Jisung, you only mentioned his eyes. 

“How long have you worked here?”

You wish you were currently looking at Jisung and his pretty eyes instead of at your boss who doesn’t have pretty eyes, or a pretty smile, or any of the kindness that Jisung radiates. 

“Five years.” You state carefully. You aren’t stupid. You know by the tone of his voice that this is not going to be a fun conversation. 

“Five years. Five years and you do this?” He tosses the stack of reports at you. They land on your desk and the floor. The draft from the air conditioner picks up a few and scatters them. It’s going to be time-consuming to get it back in order. “It’s beyond subpar work.”

You aren’t sure how you are still looking him in the eyes even though you want to curl up and hide for a little while. Why does he have to chastise you in the middle of the office? Why is that public humiliation necessary? 

There’s a voice behind you, saying your boss’s name. 

“It was all of us, sir–”

You want to tell Jisung to hush. To not get into the line of fire. It’s not worth it. 

“She’s…” The boss points at you. “In charge. She’s lead.” He glares back at you. “Though I regret making that decision.”

It isn’t your first time in charge of a project, but you’re still relatively new as a team leader, and all the doubts you have when you’re named ‘in charge’ are justified with every word your boss says. 

“You always say that every team is as strong as the weakest link, sir. So if something is wrong, it’s all of us.” You don’t see Jisung, but you feel him. He’s left his desk (several yards away) and is standing next to you, his hand almost brushing yours. 

“Han…this conversation does not include you.”

“Sir. I looked over that project last, so if something is wrong, it’s on me.”

He’s lying. You glance at him then. He’s looking at your boss, so you only have his profile.

It’s a nice profile, nearly distracting you from why you turned to him originally. 

You delivered the statistics, the reports. You looked over them last. 

Why is he lying?

Your boss glares at both of you. “Just fix it. Before I have you delivering coffee instead.” And he turns and stalks off. 

It’s quiet for what feels like minutes, though it’s probably only seconds. Everyone eventually starts quietly talking and going back to work. The show is over. 

Jisung squats down to gather some of the papers. It jolts you (you were still staring at him) to do the same.

“You okay?” he asks softly. 

You swallow. Truthfully, and logically, you know this is not a big deal. This particular supervisor is more than often way too critical and dramatic. He’s not the ultimate boss, the one that decides your fate. You know that mistakes happen and mistakes aren’t life or death. 

You know all that, but you still kinda want to cry.

You don’t trust your voice so you nod.

He stacks the papers on your desk as you finish grabbing the last few sheets. You finally meet his gaze. 

The prettiest eyes, looking at you with concern. 

“Jisung, you didn’t have to–”

“Yeah, I did.”

“You lied.”

He shrugs, seeming content to stay in his squatted position. “So?”

You sigh before standing to set your stack of papers on top of his. He stands as well, his hands sliding into the pockets of his trousers. 

“If you get in trouble because you lied…”

He makes a face at you. “He doesn’t care. He just wanted to feel like he’s in charge, like he’s important.”

“He’s our boss.”

“He’s still just a person.” Jisung taps the top of your hand that is still resting on the flawed project. “I’ll stay late with you so we can figure out what’s wrong and how to fix it.” He rolls his eyes. “Because pointing out what is wrong is too much for him.”

“You don’t have to. I’m lead and it’s my responsibility–” You carefully draw your hand away from his touch. Your crush does not need the encouragement.

“Too bad.” He grins at you. “Still gonna help.”

“It’s Friday. I’d hate for you to stay here–”

“And I hate you have to, so again…too bad.” He interrupts you again.

You huff. 

His smile grows. “I’ll finish up what I’m working on and join you in a bit.” He walks back to his desk, eyes finding yours over his computer and he winks at you.

Dammit.

It’s eight at night and you and Jisung are the only people left in the building, minus security and the cleaning staff, though neither are on your floor. 

“I don’t see anything.” You say before letting your head fall to your desk. You feel a pat pat on top of your head. “Are you patronizing me?”

He laughs. “Maybe a little.”

You lift your head, aware that you probably don’t look your best. It’s the end of a long week, a very long day and your hair tends to like to lose whatever style you forced it into by this time of evening. 

He is also reading through the reports carefully, eyes going left to right, line by line. You must be tired because you don’t look away. 

Which you don’t realize until he says your name.

“Sorry.”

He glances up. “What for?” His cheeks pinken. “You gonna say something about my eyes again?”

“Did I embarrass you?”

He shrugs. “Not really. I mean, a little, but that’s on me, not you being nice.”

“Okay. I wouldn’t want to embarrass you, Jisung.”

He holds your gaze and you wonder if maybe you got it all wrong. Maybe workplace crushes are one thing and your crush on Jisung is something all its own. 

You’re pretty sure you’d like him if you met him in a bar, at a bookstore, on the subway; anywhere. 

“I’m beginning to think that he just made up that something was wrong so he’d have a reason to be an asshole,” Jisung says, setting the project down before resting his chin in his hand. “Or my brain and eyes no longer work.”

“Seems like the first is more likely.” You mirror him, propping your head up with your hand. “I know we should finish this tonight but I’m not sure we’re going to be able to.” You stretch your arms over your head. “I’ll come in Sunday to work on it. Maybe some time away will help.”

“You shouldn’t have to come in on the weekend.”

“According to bossman, I shouldn’t be in charge either, but what can you do?” You laugh, though it’s not enough to not sound sad. When your hand comes back down, he covers it with his.

“You’re a good leader.”

You look down at his hand on yours. 

“I–”

“Really. You always listen to everyone’s ideas. You never say any are dumb even when they totally are. You make everyone feel involved and invested. You’re a really good leader.” 

You can’t think of what to say.

“Did I embarrass you?”

You force your gaze from his hand to his face. He’s got that quiet smile, soft. 

“Yeah, but same as you. It’s more me trying to accept a compliment than you saying it.” You force a smile. “Thank you.”

He leans forward a little. “You’re welcome.” His eyes (you swear you’re not making this up) fall to your mouth before darting back up.

“Also, thank you for earlier.”

He cocks his head to the side in question. 

“Sticking up for me. Even though you shouldn’t have.” You barely notice that you’ve leaned closer as well. 

The blush darkens on his cheeks and the tops of his ears. 

“Wanna get a drink?”

You blink a few times. “What?”

He scratches the back of his head, eyes leaving yours. “I mean…now. Dinner and a drink. My treat.”

“Um…sure, but you don’t have to–”

“I want to.” He swallows nervously. “I want to stick up for you, help you out, take you out. And I really want to kiss you, but I feel like kissing you at work is kind of a gray area on professionalism.”

You really can’t think of what to say. 

He lets go of your hand, abruptly getting up. “Unless you’re not interested. Which is fine. Totally acceptable and I won’t ever mention it again–” He stops when you stand as well. 

“Dinner and a drink.” You reach out to straighten his tie. “And a kiss.”

You see his shoulders drop in relief, and those pretty eyes spark with mischief. “Just one?”

Later, when his mouth is on yours, his hands gripping your waist; you lose count of how many kisses. 

You decide a workplace crush turning into a workplace romance isn’t as stupid as you thought.

--

© yoongihan 2023. please do not steal, translate, repost, or whatever. stray kids belong to themselves and all idols used in this piece are just the inspiration for characters and do not in any way reflect the actual humans.

[tiredassmage]

🖊 + may i hear your thoughts about whoever is on your mind.. a crumb of meowmeow...

*coughs.* I've held onto this for way longer than I ever thought I would or planned to and since we all are missing Tyr (affectionate), I'm going to attempt to put some Tyr content on the feed. I am only slightly sorry that it's the heartbreaking, feels-filled and fueled kind, lol.

So! *claps my hands together* We're going to need a spoiler cut because I'm going to talk about the Nathema Conspiracy again. Maybe properly for once. Because boy howdy is there a lot Tyr Deckard has never unpacked about the implications of the Nathema Conspiracy! [Edit: and some. Agent specific and other general story spoilers from before that point as well. General advice: this post is for after the Nathema Conspiracy arc is resolved, lol]

Iokath and onward has really interesting implications with Tyr for a boatload of reasons, really. As Alliance Commander, the decision to ally with the Republic on Iokath puts him in opposition with Acina - who, if memory is serving correctly and if not is just my own personal taste of how the story plays - is serving around the Dark Council and eventually on it in the era where Tyr was actively serving in Imperial Intelligence, or at least shortly after it. While I can't claim to have successfully completed the Dread Masters nor the Seeker droid questlines because of those sneaky little operations and heroics they tacked on at the end of those quest lines, I've sent Tyr to work for Acina on early Dread Seed investigations at least once, and to say the least, it leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. Certainly her remarks on Iokath do the same - it solidifies that impression, the story as Tyr knows it, that he's only been as good as his work wasn't too much of a risk for the Empire, and for the Council in particular.

Which is kind of its whole own separate ramble that isn't what I said we'd talk about, but I'm not sure I've really publicly discussed it and foggily I think it's only been implied in some of my older fic writing here or there. Which... is a bit of a shame, really. Empress Acina nearly seems like a Sith he might be able to work with, up until that moment. Intelligence should have retired you when they had the chance - the kind of proof for Tyr's opinion that the Empire hasn't changed in the nearly twenty years he's spent in his Intelligence career. In hindsight, it probably feels foolish to have ever considered maybe some experience would've taught her something, to give just enough belief that the Empire might finally have a leader that would take it in a direction of improvement, but... Unfortunately, nothing that happens there and after really gives him much time to linger on it.

But, again, that's... a different podcast for a different day, as I've fondly picked up from a recent professor, lol.

SO. About the actual promised subject of this post, lol! I always have to be very careful introducing Tyr in my mind palace to the traitor arc as a story piece in general because... here's the thing... Tyr's incredibly loyal, at his core. But he's loyal in the way that he'll tear himself apart to save you the trouble of trying to do the same thing. His loyalty is the kind where he asks to be told the truth so he can lie for you.

And also the kind of loyalty where he'd pull a trigger on you for the sake of a long-term bigger picture outcome where you might be better off. Were the roles much different, Tyr very easily could've been the Alliance traitor, and unfortunately for anyone he cares for, I know he'd sell the role hook, line, and sinker. Which for now is just sort of a thought exercise @ho1ythunder and I like to torture our blorbos in occasionally, for the most part, rather than... a primary version of events, if you will. But it's a very interesting and chewy one because very few other instances tempt Tyr to show his loyalty in such a spectacularly disastrous (for himself and others) fashion, and therefore I think a lot of those closest to Tyr just... don't really. know, entirely, that he's... that way. He's incredibly good at masking such edges in the careful dance of duties he performs.

His loyalty and his saying he'd never (like to) hurt the people he cares for is no less genuine for this reality of him, certainly. But Tyr Deckard is not a man who does anything by halves, and on a gamble like the one against the Heralds for the sake of the Alliance and a Commander he'd trust and be loyal to? That's the last job in the galaxy to ever do by halves, if he wants even half a shot at it actually working in the Alliance's favor.

Tyr's the type that would end up in the Alliance either way, likely - very likely as an Intelligence asset, if not finally in a directing and overseeing operations role by that point in his life and career. He's likely worked with Lana practically from the start on locating the Outlander; they already served fairly close together in Sith Intelligence and Tyr is... not really the type to stay idle about something like Zakuul. He was already uneasy in the Empire given his... sympathies and mission history, after all, and the Republic's just as deep up Schitt Creek, if you will, about Zakuul, so defection to the SIS isn't really an ideal option at that point anymore.

The Alliance was where he could do the most good. He believes in that idea - of pulling together both sides, of forging something new and possibly better to confront something bigger than any one of them. And as Nine, he's played more than his fair share of spy games with shadow organizations - from the Star Cabal to the Shroud to the Revanites.

Regardless of how the Eternal Throne is resolved, unrest is almost a given with that much change going down in Zakuul. With the resources of Alliance Intelligence, it's... no stretch to consider someone with Tyr's track record could hunt down the Heralds. And it maybe should be little surprise he'd infiltrate them and play along to try to get information.

Unfortunately up to and including setting up an Umbaran train incident. To put the business end of a blaster against someone he likely respects and trusts. Someone he could even be quite close with.

Because he promised he'd never let a threat like the Heralds get that deep, that close to destroying what you've built.

Or, if you've been... less kind... Well. Tyr's had a bit of enough of his life being out of his own hands. Still, it's a lot of deaths on the line. A lot of lives.

Either way, the Heralds have to be stopped.

Infiltration. Assassination. Manipulation. All specialties of your ex-Cipher. Is it really any wonder he'd go so far? A doubt he's not above planting himself. For the sake of the cover. For the sake of keeping enough of Atrius's faith in his commitment and ability to follow through to figure out what he needs to gain the Alliance an edge it desperately needs.

And that is all interesting enough, I'd say! But no, I couldn't ever be that nice to him. I have to go and make sure Shara Jenn's involved regardless of him not being the main character! Because frankly Shara's reappearance on Nathema could ALSO probably be its own post and Tyr to this day STILL hasn't unraveled for me how he feels about it (his argument is that she already said there's nothing for them to discuss. And he can do many things; raise the dead and make amends with them is not among them). So her with a Tyr that's actually working for the Alliance within the Heralds is EXTRA chewy and interesting!

Because I like to believe she still remembers enough about how he works. Still remembers the younger Cipher Nine that stood against Darth Jadus, with no backup available and only her in his ear for advice, and argued with her that the human cost of the Eradicators was unacceptable. Her idealistic underneath the pragmatic facade of a well-trained operative Cipher Nine that defied the second most powerful living Sith, likely knowing full well it was likely a futile gamble with his own life.

That Cipher Nine doesn't match the work of the Heralds here. Oh, sure, they talk, they make nice. Maybe even rekindle a bit of those lost nights shared between them on Dromund Kaas nearly a lifetime ago now. But they're both playing a game.

A part of him still loves her - loves the woman he used to know. He may never have been able to fully trust her again after the Castellans - it was hard for him to trust anyone, but it made what he felt for her no less real. Maybe the same parts of her that are suspicious of his working against the Heralds' goals, the same parts that likely drive her to share advice with Atrius that this ex-Cipher she knows can't really be trusted outside of arm's reach... Maybe those same parts of her would like to still trust him.

But it doesn't matter. Imperial Intelligence is still gone. Cipher Nine's an Imperial ghost story. And it's been a long time since she's answered to Keeper of Operations Division.

And it's this... nexus of everything, everything it costs that... Normally, if it had been just any One of these acts in isolation...

If it'd just been the train. If it'd just been putting a blaster bolt through a trusted ally and friend? He likely could live with doing it again.

But all of it? An ultimate accusation from Atrius that he's betrayed everything and everyone he's ever claimed to hold loyalty for?

Imperial Intelligence for the deal with Ardun Kothe. Shara, for the same deal. He turned his back on Sith Intelligence to run off on this 'ghost hunt' with Lana. He's betrayed the Alliance now as well.

And all of that still nearly cost the Alliance everything. It almost didn't work. It nearly kills him. The hope he had for Shara to have made it out of this web of lies and madness that mired Intelligence in its cannibalization is utterly extinguished by her even being involved with the Heralds. He couldn't save her.

Was it worth it..? Was the cost... really worth it? Even in victory? Even though there's an Alliance left to judge his actions?

Little else - perhaps... nothing else he's done or survived has ever... really felt too far. But this would be. This was, he painfully realizes once the act's already finished. When there's nothing left but sparking machinery and the tang of blood on his tongue.

He might not be able to bear to ask for forgiveness, the bitterness of it all is so strong. He couldn't believe he'd deserve it, for what he's done. For what it's cost.

But will you? Could you? Enough to make him live with the guilt and the shame.

And if you could, well... Cipher Nine might finally cede he's been at this perhaps... too long. Another call like that.... It shouldn't have happened in the first place.

And THAT. That!!!!! To find a scenario where someone like Tyr, who... I'd say almost doesn't know how to quit. He doesn't just... give up, on anything. I'm sure a fair few would wish it'd take less to make him consider slowing down, to finally hang up the drive to be something like Atlas, with the weight of everything always upon his shoulders. But... damn, it sure is chewy something finally could. >:3

Tyr Vaiken Deckard, the man that you are etc etc. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

[krisp-xyz]

I've really been wanting to build another 40% keyboard and I saw this lil guy and he looks so stupid I love him

I CAN'T GET THIS ANYMORE I'M SO UPSET

also because I always get people asking how the fuck 40% works because there are so few keys, I thought it was weird and gimmicky till I used it and holy shit is it surprisingly efficient. it's definitely a preference thing but like I wanna explain what's so cool about it

ok so like imagine how inefficient it would be if you had dedicated keys for uppercase and lowercase letters, your keyboard would be like twice as big and would be so clunky to use. that's what the shift key is for! it streamlines the typing experience by moving those otherwise hard to reach keys to easy to reach spots. the real question is how far can we take this?

you'd be surprised by how much time is spent just moving you're fingers from one key to another when typing. it takes way longer to do that than like, press the key down, even if you type fast. this makes sense I'm the previous example because it's easy to imagine how a bigger keyboard with more dedicated keys could slow you down in an extreme case, but smaller keyboards tend to really accelerate typing on the opposite end of that, especially when using lots of numbers, symbols, whatever.

when I first got a 40%, I put numbers on a second layer on the top row so I could hold down a key with my thumb to type numbers, but eventually moved it down to the home row which meant I didn't really have to move my fingers at all to type numbers and it was so much faster. throw symbols on the rows above and below on the same layer and I found even symbol-heavy typing like programming to be much faster on smaller keyboards than larger ones

gaming is definitely a weakness where you kinda just want dedicated keys for different things, especially a number row, but generally I greatly prefer 40% now. I've tried going smaller but 30% ended up being a bit too small for me because having more dedicated layer keys made using layers really intuitive compared to some of the bullshit I had to do for a 30%, but I know people who like 30% and the point where keyboards get too small is very much a preference thing but like tiny keyboards are genuinely so efficient it's great

ANYWAY sorry for the keyboard ramble I'll probably post more art at some point I swear jfhjfahdhbkkj

[internetgiraffekid1673]

Hey I know these problaby aren't the question you where thinking where gonna come up here but I have a couple rapped fire questions I don't know who to ask and your the only one who ever consistently comes into my page so here I go:

How does one game followers on this app because whenever I post something I feel like I'm just waiting my time cuz nobody ever sees the stuff I'm writing or making, and I know people say to just be who you are and do what you like but I've been doing that and I have a total of six followers (and in all honesty your the only person who ever interacts with my posts)

Is it better to just spew out content or space out posts? I have all these ideas and things I want to make and post but I feel like if I post over something it's gonna have an even smaller chance of being seen and that honestly hurts cuz I put allot of time and effort into my posts for literally no one to see them!

Okay I know that was a lot and I'm sorry but I just don't know how else to ask and you seem like you would know that kind of thing because you always get notes on your posts, if these are questions you can't or don't wanna answer that's obviously fine but If you do choose to answer I would really appreciate it since I'm new to this whole Tumblr thing and I have never had a platform like this.

Anyway I'm done rambling, answer or no answer thank you for your time and I just wanted to thank you for everything!

Ella Zimmerman

Hello! Dear friend! First of all, some bigger blogs don't mind signal boosting. You can drop an ask into the inbox of some of them and be like, "hey, do you think you could ask people to look at my art and/or writing? I'm having trouble finding people." Case in point: EVERYBODY GO FOLLOW @ellazimmermansblog , HER STUFF IS VERY COOL, SHE IS VERY FUNNY AND TALENTED, AND HER ART IS AMAZING! SHE MADE MY HEADER IMAGE!

I feel you on nobody interacting with your posts, it felt like a while before I found my people here! This is how I found them.

1) Follow other people. A lot of the followers I have are just my much cooler mutuals. Find someone who's blog you like. Follow them, interact with their posts, send them asks, that kind of thing. Just an example of the kind of asks you can send: I love OC content, and a lot of really cool people will happily infodump about their OCs if you ask them. A lot of people are happy to make friends. The way I find people to follow is part scrolling through tags for my interests, but also looking through likes and reblogged that were made on my own posts and seeing if I click with any of those folks.

2) Make fandom posts. Tumblr is a fandom website, and while I ADORE your original content, it is easier for people to find you through fandom and then get attached to your other stuff.

3) Be alright with screaming into the void. A lot of the time when I make posts, I'm not actually expecting anybody to interact with them, unless it's a fandom post. I'm kind of just screaming into the void. Sometimes I'll get pleasantly surprised and someone will interact with it, but my personal posts are all 0-3 note posts most of the time, while most of my fandom posts hover around 20ish and sometimes my posts "break containment," which I classify as anything over 50 notes (you can see which ones have broken for me in the top posts section).

4) Tag EVERYTHING. This one is annoying and boring and hard, but tags are how people see your posts. I spent a solid month just having an empty blog and stalking tumblr before I actually made a post, so I had a pretty good handle on what tags I should be using, because some of them aren't very intuitive. For example: I play wizard101 and that was one of the first posts I made where I found mutuals. Wizard 101 is tagged under #wizard101, #wizzy101, #wiz101, and #w101. That's FOUR different tags that people could be using, and if I wanted all of them to find that post, I had to use all four. Tumblr's auto-suggest tags are pretty helpful, but so is just scrolling through like a maniac.

(I also ramble in the tags of my posts. Just things I want to add that don't really belong in the main body of the post).

5) Post a lot. There are 2 types of people on this website: the people who are doing some kind of long-form project and don't really have time to make other posts, and the people who just post things and reblog things they like willy nilly. The long form project people also usually post their project on a side-blog and have a main account they use to still jabber and talk about stuff not related to it.

6) Reblog things. A LOT. Tumblr isn't really a "passive engagement" website. There's no algorithm on here. People prefer to curate their dashes very carefully based on the tags and the blogs they follow. So if you want to see more content for something you like, follow that person and reblog that post! ESPECIALLY posts that don't have very many notes, since those people are usually also looking for friends and engagement. You've probably noticed my blog is like 80% funny reblogs where I ramble in the tags and 20% my own nonsense.

7) And this last piece of advice is more for how to engage and less for how to get engagement yourself: find someone who is really bored and likes answering asks. They may not follow you back, but it'll be a fun conversation and way to engage and pass the time. I'm shy, so I look for people who are bored and have anons turned on like @call-me-chips (hope you don't mind the tag!) For people who are unaware, I am ALSO one of those people! Ask me questions! About anything! Even invasive ones! Including stuff I logically can't answer! Or just send me rants about things that you just want someone to hear! I love them! Send them as anons if you want! I don't care, I love talking to people on this website!

I hope this helps you find more of your people, and best of luck to you amigo! Remember to follow @ellazimmermansblog who I am tagging twice and praying that tumblr doesn't break for at least one of them!

[bunkernine]

hi pls ignore this if i have mistaken you for someone else and am making a fool out of myself but are you the person who wrote isosceles?? because that fic altered my brain on an abnormal and chemical level way back when and i just remembered it the other day and binged it all again and i feel like i remember there being a few other fics in that universe (one from travis’s pov iirc) and i wanted to know where they are. of course if you are not the person who wrote isosceles i am a fool and feel free to ignore this ❤️

I did, yeah.

I wrote it when i was 14 so at a certain point i didn't want to be associated with it because it didn't reflect me as much anymore. It was my big baby at the time!!! But i divorced from that a few years ago. As for the other universe fics, if i remember correctly: connor, drew, a vers where jason admits to liking him back (some point isos implied that jason DID like leo back but was too confused to do anything).... But i deleted those first because they just weren't as fun, and my own friend group was falling apart so it felt too close.

But yes, you have found me LOLOL. Isos is orphaned, but unfortunately the other fics are deleted fr. Sorry :( but thanks for enjoying it!!! 💖

(ramblings under the cut)

The reason why i didnt delete isos too was because so many people were saying what you are now. If i could, id rewrite it (both with style and plot differences) and do a whole new remastered version. Im not sure why i decided to write his senior year when i was a freshman/sophomore LOL so I always figured I would've came back to it when I was older.... Clearly I did not.

I WAS miserable in high school, at least socially. So Leo was a little TOO personal and it made me mad when i basically did what he did towards the end. I spent some time just doing some random apolleo fics. Capolleo series, so my name should've been capolleon by then? LOLOLOL i had been majorly influenced by some now-deleted fic which is why apollo is even there 💀 but now im apollos age in the fic and im like 'hmm. Yeah maybe not...'

Then there was a fic that was coming out towards the end of isos that i felt was copying me 😭😭😭 ← 14/15 yr old feelings. Who cares! But i would update and then they would update and i was so paranoid 😭😭😭 honestly, the vibe in general for valgrace in 2018 is much different than right now, and it was much more open and varied in topics. This is not to discredit the current valgrace leaders or whatever the fuck, but the vibe is just ... Pretty different.

But yeah. Im sort of using this ask as an excuse to talk about it, but isos was SO big and what i was known for within the small vg circle (outside of the text fic at the same time 💀) so i was constantly reminded of it. And dont get me wrong, i ADORED that fic when i was writing it. I was upset whenever my life was too messy for me to drop the chapter of the month. Double updates felt so ... Um. Mature and awesome, like i was a professional 💀 i wrote leo as bisexual but he had a pretty strong inclination to men because i was figuring I'm out that I wasn't bisexual but a lesbian, but I couldn't really articulate that, especially as I was dating a guy through that fic. That was some cute little endpoint i was gonna have but its reality frightened me so it was dropped... The complexities of piperleojason were insane to think about when i was like, crying at lunch in my bf's car 😭 When it was posting, i left some really crazy A/N's showing how volatile i was at the time, that i eventually deleted. But i was so proud of it and it was a comfort to write. I think the drafts were a lot more raw but people loved it anyway.

Anyway. It's been a while since I've been able to talk about this fic. People have left the most loving comments in the world and it connected with a lot of readers. Its also my only fic that had fanart and playlists and such made for it! I was so proud of that! I dont think people understand how incredible that is and it truly is the dream for fic writers!!! I have other fics that inspired ppl, but isos was the one ppl constantly flocked to or appreciated :)

I used to cry writing some parts of it and now it just feels like an old diary entry. I haven't read it in a while and thought about remaking it (probs... As college kids though) but haven't bothered. Technical-wise, theres so many things that are dropped or forgotten or are just clumsy but thats really just a maturity thing.

Anyway THANK YOU FOR ASKING!!!!!!!!! Ppl dont ask me about my fics like they used to which was the whole reason why i made this account :(((( among other things, lack of interactions in fandom have decreased so much :((((

Love love love uuuuuuuuu

[estravens-tits]

Hi! I would like to thank you for posting about this book daily, I desperately need content. I have no idea how asks work, but I am curious: when did you first read the book? How many times have you read it? What other Hainish books have you read? Have a nice day!

Thanks for the ask! This turned into a personal midnight rambling, so sorry for the length.

I spent a full year with The Left Hand of Darkness on my to-do list. In the span of that I actually picked up the book and read the first 10 pages on two separate occasions. And then promptly forgot about it. (Luckily I keep to-do lists all around me or nothing would get done.)

I finally read it this May because I had just graduated college and was worn-out after a week of entertaining relatives and fielding questions about when I'm going to get married and what I'm going to do with the rest of my life. I needed a few days to be in another world.

There's some things that you read really fast because you need to see the culmination at the end as soon as possible. And there's some things you read slowly because the experience of the book feels just as important as the ending. The Left Hand of Darkness was supposed to be a short distraction but it ended up taking 2 weeks to read because I needed it for that long.

There's usually an exact moment when I KNOW a book is going to stick with me. For The Left Hand of Darkness, it was in Chapter 6 when Estraven is laying in an Orgota hospital bed, shoeless, homeless, and half dead after his narrow escape from Karhide. An Orgota inspector comes to question him to discern if he should be sent to a Voluntary Farm, but Estraven cannot bring himself to care enough to answer, even though these questions are crucial to his continued living. When asked about his future in Orgoreyn, Estraven simply laughs in the face of the Inspector. When asked how he will return to Karhide, he responds "By coffin."

This scene isn't the lowest point in the book, but I think it IS Estraven's lowest point. He is freshly cut off from everything he loves with no hope of returning and not even the clothes on his back to bring into his new life. It's the only time Estraven, a normally meticulous planner, has absolutely no plans for the future and is so tired of trying to make them that he just gives up and laughs instead.

Though in a very different situation, I felt a weariness of my own while waiting in the lull between college and the rest of life. I was tired of working for a future that never materialized. I no longer had the strength to keep fielding off the urge to just give up, lay down, and die.

There is one thing conspicuously absent in Estraven's life: regret. He does not think about things that could have been different, simply accepts the present and moves forward. In those two weeks of reading, I made a plan for what to do next. Or rather, I stopped thinking that the ideas I already had needed to be perfect before they could be implemented. Because no matter what I plan, things will not turn out the way I want them to. My future will never be what I expect. I have made an uneasy peace with that. Failures are inevitable but my regret about them doesn't have to be.

I would estimate I've read The Left Hand of Darkness 2 times since May, mostly through going back to highlight a section, which turned into reading the whole chapter. Le Guin's ideas have helped me consolidate my own. I have come to believe that uncertainty is a fact of life. But more than that, I am capable of surviving uncertainty, living in it, and enjoying life despite and because of it.

I actually haven't read of Le Guin's other books yet because I think it will be good to have them waiting for another time when I need them. Something to look forward to in the future.

[fictionadventurer]

I used to think of story as "A story is stuff happening and a story's PURPOSE is to emotionally connect/move people." That said, I love the way you put it here!

If I may be allowed to add:

When a story is too short, perhaps it means that the internal change must be slower, with more events slowly inching it forward. If it has too much, then perhaps you need to have more seismic events rocketing it along.

Or perhaps you were wrong about the perfect length.

Also I have an anecdote to support your point:

Once I wrote a fight scene that was literally just stuff happening as part of a writing club, and it was BORING AS HECK! Incredibly repetitive and emotionally empty. Then I rewrote it to focus more on the emotions (which also led me to write more creative fights?) and the same people told me I actually achieved the sort of adrenaline fueled action piece it was meant to be.

Another, I was writing a story for myself and focused on the internal to the detriment of the external. It was also dull because I kept trying to stretch out the internal monologues instead of making stuff happen.

So now I try to balance where the external moves the internal. (Sorry if this was rambly)

I think "story's the stuff and emotion is the purpose" is also a valid way to put it. I put the focus on the internal arc because that helps me to figure out where to begin and end a story.

Stories usually involve some kind of change--whether in circumstances or in understanding. If you know how the beginning state is different from the ending state, all you have to do is stop the story after that ending state is achieved, and begin the story at the point where events start to make that change necessary. Even in a flat arc, where the point is that the character doesn't change despite their circumstances, the story begins at the point where the characters beliefs are challenged, and end when whatever circumstances caused that challenge are overcome. (This doesn't really relate to what you said. I just saw the chance to clarify my original post now that I've done some more thinking on the subject).

Pacing is another matter, and you're right that the balance between external events and emotional change is the key to maintaining it. I'd add that a lot of problems with length can altered by narrowing or widening the focus. If the story's too long, laser-focus on your main character's arc and cut anything extra; if the story's too short, you can widen the focus to include other characters or conflicts outside the main arc.

Your anecdotes are a great example of how internal and external change are both necessary to a story. I've found similar things in my own work. I've lost count of the number of times I've found a story boring, only to step back and realize I've spent several paragraphs of a character thinking about a situation when they could be doing something. Sometimes, the change is as simple as turning the character's thoughts into a dialogue with another character. Or jumping to an active scene while littering in the character's thoughts. I've also had the opposite problem of characters just doing things until I realize we don't know how they feel about any of this, which can make the story feel empty. A good balance of both is what makes a story feel complete.