#i spend like 80% of my day on this no joke

[lycheethelychee]

Control

[aryadelvich]

Here’s a story from this request

Summary : Luigi has a secret crush on you. Both of you attending the same university. When you ask him for help with math, what starts as a simple study session quickly gets spicy !!

Warning : explicite content 🔞🔞

I don’t know why this song feels like Luigi in college.

Others Luigi’s parts not related to this one :

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Luigi stood in the university hall, leaning casually against a wall as his friends joked around. Though he appeared to be listening, his focus shifted the moment he saw you descending the staircase.

His gaze lingered longer than it should have, tracing the determined set of your jaw and the way you clutched a paper tightly in one hand. There was something different about you today—your usual cheerful demeanor had been replaced by a tense, distracted air.

Then your eyes met his.

Caught off guard, Luigi looked away quickly, his pulse quickening.

"Oh, look. It's Y/N," one of his friends said with a teasing grin, just loud enough for you to hear.

As if on cue, the group turned to look at you. Luigi let out a quiet sigh, his jaw tightening. He had noticed you from the very first day of class but hadn't said anything to his friends. And now, they were practically gawking.

You stopped mid-step, offering the group a polite smile. "Hi, guys."

Your gaze flickered briefly to Luigi, and this time, you greeted him with a smile that held just the faintest edge of teasing.

"Hi, Luigi," you said, your tone light.

His throat tightened, and his response came out awkwardly, barely audible. "H-hi Y/n"

You stepped closer, holding out the paper in your hand. "I need help with applied mathematics. You're taking it as a minor, right? And from what I hear, you're pretty good at it."

"Oh... yeah," Luigi stammered, unprepared for your directness.

Before he could offer a proper response, one of his friends cut in, raising a hand dramatically. "I can help you too, Y/N!"

"Yeah, me too," another added, clearly trying to impress you.

Luigi shot them both an annoyed glance. "Back off," he muttered, though his tone remained light enough to pass as joking.

You raised an eyebrow, amusement flashing in your eyes. “I’m gonna choose whoever scored the highest on the last test gets to tutor me."

The group fell into a brief silence, and then the scores started coming in.

"71."

"82."

"89."

"80."

Finally, Luigi spoke, his voice calm and steady. "95."

Your lips curved into a grin. "Well, looks like we have a winner. Luigi, you're my tutor."

The subtle pride in his expression didn't escape you, though he tried to play it cool.

"How about tomorrow at the library?" he offered.

You shook your head. "I need to study tonight—my retake is the day after tomorrow. Your place or mine?"

Luigi froze, your words echoing in his mind. Around him, his friends erupted into laughter, elbowing each other and exchanging smirks.

"M-my room... if that's okay with you," he managed, his voice suddenly tight.

"Perfect," you said with an easy smile. "I'll see you after class, then."

As you turned and walked off, Luigi stared after you, his thoughts racing.

"Dude, did you hear that? She literally said, 'Your place or mine.' That's your chance !" one of his friends teased, slapping him on the shoulder.

Luigi shoots them a sharp look. "Shut up. She just needs help, that's all."

"Sure, sure," another friend says, smirking knowingly.

But Luigi doesn't respond. He's too preoccupied with the thought of spending time with you alone. Ever since you entered his life, you've had a way of unsettling the calm, logical order he's used to.

[7 PM]

Luigi paced nervously in his room, adjusting the books and papers on his desk for what felt like the hundredth time. He smoothed the creases in his shirt, glanced at the clock, and took a steadying breath.

A soft knock at the door snapped him out of his thoughts. He opened it to find you standing there, arms full of notes, a faint smile on your lips.

"Ready for an intense night of applied math?" you joke.

He steps aside to let you in, trying to mask his nervousness. "I hope you're prepared to work hard because I'm a tough teacher," he quips.

You laugh as you take a seat at his desk, spreading out your notes. Luigi watches you discreetly, wondering why your presence alone is enough to make his heart race. He pulled up a chair beside you. He sits next to you and opens a notebook filled with neatly organized notes. His subtle cologne lingers in the air, and you can't help but notice how focused he looks when he starts explaining.

"Alright, show me what's giving you trouble," he says, gesturing to your notes.

You flip to a particularly challenging problem. "This one. Honestly, equations like this make me want to quit. Differential equations are a nightmare."

Luigi chuckles softly. "They seem daunting, but once you understand the logic, it's not so bad. Let's break it down step by step."

He explains with patience, his calm voice guiding you through each line. As complicated as the topic is, his methodical approach makes everything click.

"Oh! I get it now!" you exclaim, your face lighting up. "Why didn't anyone explain it like this before? It's so obvious!"

He grins, clearly proud of your progress. "See? I told you it wasn't as hard as it looked."

You work together for a while, your confidence growing with each solved problem. At one point, as you reach for his notebook, your fingers brush against his. The brief touch makes you pause, and you notice him quickly look away, his ears turning red.

"Sorry," you murmur, pulling your hand back.

"It's... it's nothing," he replies, his voice quiet.

The atmosphere grows heavier as you both become more aware of the growing tension between you.

At one point, your hands brushed as you both reached for the same pen. You pulled back quickly, but not before your gaze met his. A flicker of something passed between you—brief, but undeniable. Luigi looked away again, clearing his throat.

Luigi leaned closer to point out an error in your notes, his shoulder brushing against yours. You froze, suddenly hyper-aware of how close he was.

"Here," he murmured, his raspy voice lower now, almost intimate.

You glanced at him from the corner of your eye, taking in the slight crease in his brow as he concentrated. The sharp lines of his jaw, the faint curl of his hair—it all felt too distracting.

"Got it?" he asked, his tone snapping you out of your thoughts.

"Y-yeah," you stammered, focusing back on the paper.

But even as the night continued, the unspoken tension between you lingered, growing in the quiet spaces between words. Neither of you dared to name it, but it was there—electric and impossible to ignore.

A few minutes later, after tackling another problem, Luigi leans closer to explain a particular detail. His proximity sends a wave of nervous energy through you, but you fight to keep your focus. When his elbow accidentally brushes against the side of your chest, warmth spreads through your body, pooling low in your stomach. 

"Sorry," he murmurs, his voice tinged with embarrassment. 

"It's fine..." you reply softly, your voice barely above a whisper. 

But your concentration falters as your thoughts begin to wander. Your eyes trace the lines of his hands—large and strong, with long, deft fingers. Veins crisscross his forearms, disappearing into the back of his hands, and the way he grips the pen exudes a quiet confidence. His arms are muscular, his collarbone defined, hinting at the sculpted frame beneath his shirt. 

Your gaze dips lower, involuntarily lingering at his crotch for a moment too long. You can't help yourself. Luigi has always been a contradiction: introverted and composed, yet brimming with a quiet fire, a confidence you've never fully understood but can't help wanting to unravel. 

Your eyes shift back to his face, and you find yourself studying him anew. His profile is striking—an angular jawline, lips that seem almost too perfect, and a thick beard that he likely trims every day. His brows are bold, framing a gaze that is somehow both piercing and gentle. There's an elegance to his nose and a wildness to his untamed curls, as though he doesn't care enough to control them. 

You're not sure what's happening, what this magnetic pull between you means. And judging by the faint tension in his movements, neither does he. 

"Alright," Luigi says, his voice breaking through your reverie. "I'm going to give you an exercise now. It'll cover everything we've gone over so far. You'll work on it yourself while I keep an eye on your progress." 

"Okay," you reply, nodding eagerly, grasping at the distraction. 

He steps back, giving you space to focus. For a few minutes, you immerse yourself in the task, scribbling out equations and trying to channel all your thoughts into solving the problem. But then you feel him again—standing behind you, his presence throwing your concentration into disarray. Your mind strays to places it shouldn't, thoughts you can't control flaring to life. 

Luigi crouches down beside you, his arm resting on the back of your chair. The closeness feels almost deliberate, his movements steady yet unassuming, as if he's unaware of the way he's affecting you. 

"Look here," he instructs, his voice low and firm. 

He reaches for your pen, his fingers brushing against yours once again. The contact feels electric, sending a jolt through you. He corrects the mistake with a confident stroke, then places the pen back in your hand. 

Your eyes lift to meet his, and for a moment, the world narrows to just the two of you. The air between you feels charged, heavy with something unspoken yet impossible to ignore. You both break the gaze at the same time, awkward and unsure. The tension hangs there, undeniable yet unaddressed.

He leaned closer, his curly brown hair falling into his face as he pointed at a particularly confusing problem. "Okay," he said, his voice soft but confident, "tell me what the derivative of this function is."

You hesitated, chewing on your bottom lip. Your eyes flickered to his face—his sharp jawline, the faint stubble, the way his lips curved into that patient smile. He caught your gaze and tilted his head, his brown eyes narrowing playfully.

"Focus," he teased, tapping the page with his pen.

"I... I don't remember," you admitted, flushing slightly under his scrutiny.

"Hmm." He clicked his tongue, feigning disappointment, but there was a sparkle in his eyes that made your stomach flutter. "Wrong answer. But don't worry, we'll get there."

He scooted closer, his thigh brushing against yours, and you felt a jolt of warmth shoot through your body. His voice dropped lower, almost conspiratorial. "Let's break it down step by step. Think of it like building something from scratch—you start with the foundation, right?"

You nodded, though your attention was less on the math and more on the way his hand gestured animatedly as he explained. God, why does he have to be so damn attractive? His rolled-up sleeves revealed the veins running along his forearms, and you couldn't help but imagine how they'd feel under your fingertips.

"So, if f(x) equals 2x squared plus 3x minus 4," he continued, writing out the equation neatly, "what's the first step?"

Your mind went blank again, but this time it wasn't just because of the math. The proximity was getting to you—his woodsy cologne, the warmth radiating off his body, the way his leg pressed against yours. You shifted slightly, trying to focus, but it was impossible.

"Uh..." you stalled, glancing up at him.

His lips quirked into a knowing smirk. "Wrong again," he murmured, leaning in even closer. His breath ghosted over your ear as he whispered with his raspy voice, "You're not paying attention, are you?"

You swallowed hard, your heart pounding in your chest. "Maybe I need a different kind of lesson," you blurted out before you could stop yourself.

Luigi froze for a moment, his pen hovering mid-air. Then, slowly, he set it down and turned to face you fully. His expression was unreadable, but there was a heat in his gaze that sent shivers down your spine. "Oh?" he said, his voice low and velvety. "What kind of lesson did you have in mind?"

You hesitated for only a second before reaching out and placing a hand on his chest. His heartbeat thudded beneath your palm, steady and strong. "One where you show me exactly how much you know," you said, your voice trembling slightly despite your boldness.

His lips parted in surprise, but then his eyes darkened with something primal, something hungry. He leaned in, his nose brushing against yours. "Are you sure about this?" he whispered, his breath warm against your skin.

"Positive," you breathed, closing the distance between you.

The kiss was slow at first, tentative, as if both of you were testing the waters. But then his hands found your waist, pulling you closer, and everything changed. His lips moved against yours with a fervor that left you dizzy, his tongue sweeping into your mouth, claiming you in a way that made your toes curl.

When he finally pulled back, his eyes were hooded, his pupils blown wide with desire. "If I'm going to teach you anything," he murmured, his voice rough, "you're going to have to follow my rules."

You nodded, your breath coming in short, shallow gasps. "What are they?"

A wicked grin spread across his face. "Every time you get a question wrong," he said, trailing a finger down your arm, "I stop. No touching, no kissing, nothing. Until you get it right."

"And if I get it right?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

His grin widened. "Then I'll reward you appropriately."

Before you could respond, he grabbed the textbook again and flipped to a new page. "Alright," he said, his tone suddenly serious, though his eyes still burned with mischief. "What's the integral of sine x?"

Your brain scrambled to recall the formula, but all you could think about was the way his thumb was tracing circles on your thigh. "I don't care."

He shook his head, clicking his tongue again. "Nope. Wrong." And just like that, he leaned back, his hands dropping away from you.

You groaned in frustration, but there was a thrill in the challenge, a fire igniting deep within you. "Fine. Try me again."

This time, when he asked another question, you forced yourself to focus, determined not to let him win so easily. And when you finally got the answer right, the look of pure satisfaction on his face was worth every second of torment.

"Good," he purred, pulling you back into his arms. His lips crashed against yours, his hands roaming your body with possessive intent. His touch was electric, sending waves of pleasure coursing through you as he explored every inch of your skin.

But just as things were heating up, he pulled away again, his eyes gleaming with mischief. "Next question," he said, his voice thick with arousal. "What's the limit as x approaches infinity of 1 over x?"

You bit your lip, your mind racing. "Zero?"

He smiled, slow and dangerous. "Correct."

And then his lips were on you again, his hands everywhere at once, until the only thing you could think about was him—his taste, his touch, the sound of his ragged breathing as he whispered your name.

But just as you reached for the hem of his shirt, he stopped you, his grip firm. "Wait," he said, his voice hoarse. "What's the area under the curve of y equals x squared from 0 to 2?"

You blinked, your brain struggling to catch up. "Uh... 8/3?"

He grinned, his hands sliding up your thighs. "Exactly right."

And then he kissed you again, harder this time, his fingers digging into your hips as he pulled you onto his lap. The world outside ceased to exist, leaving only the two of you, lost in each other, desperate and wanting.

But before things could escalate further, he broke the kiss, his chest heaving as he stared into your eyes. "Last question," he said, his voice shaking with restraint. "What's the probability of us finishing this without any interruptions?"

You laughed breathlessly, your hands tangling in his hair. "Slim to none."

"That's what I thought," he growled, pressing his forehead against yours. "But I'm willing to take the risk if you are."

His hands slid up your thighs, the warmth of his touch sending shivers through your body. The air in the room was thick with tension, every breath you took filling your lungs with the scent of him—clean sweat, cologne, and something uniquely Luigi. His brown eyes locked onto yours, dark with desire, but still glinting with that playful intelligence that always seemed to disarm you. He leaned in, his lips brushing against your ear as he whispered, "What's the derivative of e^(2x)?"

You froze for a moment, your mind struggling to focus on anything other than the way his fingers were now tracing circles on your inner thigh. Think, think. You bit your lip, trying to recall the formula. "Uh... 2e^(2x)?"

A slow, approving smile spread across his face. "Perfect," he murmured, his voice low and smooth like honey. His hand moved higher, his fingertips grazing the edge of your panties. You gasped, arching into his touch, but he paused, his smile turning teasing. "Next question. What's the integral of sin(x)? If you get it wrong, I stop."

"Luigi," you whined, squirming under his hold. His thumb pressed against the sensitive spot just above your knee, making it nearly impossible to concentrate. "That's not fair."

"All's fair in love and math," he teased, leaning back slightly to give you space to think. His confidence was infuriatingly attractive, and you couldn't help but laugh despite the ache pooling between your legs.

"The integral is -cos(x)," you said quickly, hoping to end the torture.

He raised an eyebrow, clearly impressed. "Brava," he said as he pulled you closer. His hands slid up your sides, lifting your shirt over your head before you could even process what was happening. The cool air of the room hit your skin, but his body heat chased away any chill. His lips found yours again, hungry and demanding, while his hands explored every curve of your torso.

Your fingers fumbled with the buttons of his shirt, desperate to feel more of him. He chuckled against your mouth, letting you undo them one by one until his chest was finally bare. Your hands roamed over his abs, tracing the ridges and feeling the tightness of his muscles. He groaned softly, his hips pressing up into yours, and you could feel how hard he already was through his pants.

But before you could take things further, he pulled back again, his breathing ragged. "One more question," he said, his voice rough. "What's the limit as x approaches infinity of (3x^2 + 2)/(4x^2 - 1)?"

You groaned, dropping your forehead to his shoulder. "Are you serious right now?"

"Dead serious," he said, his fingers trailing down your spine, making you shiver. "Answer correctly, and I'll make sure you forget your own name."

You could barely think straight, but you forced yourself to focus. The answer came to you in a haze. "Three over four?"

His smile was wicked as he leaned in close, his lips brushing against your neck. "Very good baby," he breathed, his hot breath sending goosebumps across your skin. "Now, let me show you how well I can reward good students."

In one swift motion, he stood, lifting you with him as if you weighed nothing. Your legs instinctively wrapped around his waist, and he carried you to his bed, laying you down gently before climbing over you. His kisses trailed down your jaw, your neck, your collarbone, each one leaving a trail of fire in its wake. When his lips closed around your nipple, you gasped, your back arching off the bed.

His hands worked quickly, pulling off the rest of your clothes until you were completely bare beneath him. His eyes drank in the sight of you, and the hunger in his gaze made your stomach twist with anticipation. "So beautiful," he murmured, his voice thick with emotion.

Before you could respond, his lips descended lower, kissing a path down your stomach until he reached your core. You tensed, your hands gripping the sheets as his tongue touched you for the first time. The sensation was electric, sending sparks through your entire body. He licked slowly, deliberately, driving you insane with the unhurried pace. Just when you thought you couldn't take anymore, he pressed two fingers inside you, curling them in a way that made you cry out.

"Luigi!" you moaned, your hips lifting off the bed as he worked you with his mouth and fingers. Every stroke, every lick felt like it was unraveling you piece by piece. You were close—so close—but then he stopped, looking up at you with that devilish smirk.

"What's the value of pi to five decimal places?" he asked, his voice steady despite the slickness on his chin.

"Are you fucking kidding me—" you started, but he cut you off with a pinch to your thigh.

"Answer correctly, and I'll finish what I started," he said, his tone leaving no room for argument.

You clenched your fists, frustration and desperation warring within you. "3.14159," you spat out, glaring at him.

His grin widened, and he didn't waste another second. His tongue dove back in, and this time, he didn't stop until you were trembling beneath him, your orgasm crashing over you in waves. You cried out his name, your voice breaking as pleasure consumed you.

When you finally came down, he kissed his way back up your body, his lips claiming yours in a searing kiss. You could taste yourself on his tongue, and it only heightened the ache between your legs. His cock pressed against you, hot and heavy, and you reached between you to free him from his pants.

As soon as your hand wrapped around him, he sucked in a sharp breath, his hips jerking forward. "Y/n" he muttered, his voice strained. "You're going to kill me."

You stroked him slowly, savoring the way his eyelids fluttered and his breath hitched. But before you could tease him further, he grabbed your wrist, pinning it above your head. "My turn," he growled, settling between your legs. The tip of his cock pressed against you, and you both groaned as he pushed inside, inch by inch.

It was almost too much—his size stretching you in the best way possible—but he gave you time to adjust, peppering your neck with soft kisses. When he finally bottomed out, he stilled, his forehead resting against yours. "Tell me this is okay," he whispered, his voice uncharacteristically vulnerable.

"More than okay," you replied, wrapping your legs around his waist. "Please, Luigi. Don't stop."

He didn't need to be told twice. His hips began to move, each thrust hitting that perfect spot deep inside you. His rhythm was relentless, the sound of skin against skin filling the room. You clung to him, nails digging into his back as you urged him on. His name spilled from your lips like a prayer, and each time he swallowed your cries with a kiss.

The coil in your stomach tightened again, your second orgasm building faster than you expected. "I'm close," you gasped, your legs shaking around him.

"Me too," he panted, his movements becoming erratic. "Where do you want me to—"

"Inside," you interrupted, the word coming out as a desperate plea. "Please."

He groaned, burying his face in your neck as his thrusts became harder, deeper. With one final push, you shattered, your climax tearing through you like a storm. He followed moments later, spilling himself inside you with a guttural moan. For a long moment, neither of you moved, too lost in the aftermath to care about anything else.

Finally, he rolled onto his side, pulling you with him so you were curled against his chest. His heartbeat was rapid under your ear, and his fingers traced lazy patterns on your back. "Thank you," he said softly, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

You looked up at him, grinning despite your exhaustion. "For what? Being a genius at math?"

He laughed, the sound warm and genuine. "For trusting me." His expression turned thoughtful, and he tilted your chin up so you were looking directly into his eyes.

You stride confidently through the university hall, a triumphant smile lighting up your face. Spotting Luigi, you rush toward him and throw yourself into his arms without hesitation. 

"So, what did you got ?" he asks, barely able to contain his excitement. 

"Ninety-seven! Luigi, you're incredible!" you exclaim, wrapping your arms tightly around him. The curious stares from other students don't faze you in the slightest. 

"I'm proud of you, Y/N!" he says, his tone full of warmth and pride. 

"Well, I had the best tutor anyone could ask for," you reply with a teasing grin. 

Not far away, Luigi's group of friends watches the scene, their confusion evident as they exchange glances, silently trying to piece together what they're seeing. 

"How about we celebrate properly? Dinner's on me," Luigi suggests, his smile growing wider. 

"Absolutely!" 

Without thinking, you lean in and kiss his cheek, the gesture natural and full of gratitude. Luigi chuckles softly, his ears turning just a bit pink, but he doesn't pull away. The buzz of the hall seems to fade, leaving only the two of you in your little bubble of joy.

GIRLS IF YOU HAVE ANY REQUESTS ASK ME I WILL DO IT WITH PLEASURE !!!! FEEL FREE TO ASK !!!

[man-down-in-hatchet-town]

THERE'S A CASTLE ON THE HILL, AS THE STORY GOES...

As promised, some initial thoughts on the things I loved about seeing this show. Spoiler free, since most of us haven't gotten to see it yet, and under the cut since I do wax a bit poetic...

Cinderella’s Castle is, in a strange way, an exercise in irony. The show is a retelling of an ancient story that is beloved and recited throughout so many cultures, and yet somehow feels completely fresh. The modern take on glam-punk lighting, a score infused with styles from 80s synth to anime, a high fantasy set with the costumes to match, the spirit of Jim Henson lingering through both the puppets and some larger and intangible vibe, a script combining that Starkid humor and Hatchetfield darkness with a whole different style of speaking… all of these beautifully executed elements melted together into something that I’ve never before seen. To take a tale as old as time and make it unique is no easy feat, but Starkid did so with magic and charm to spare.

Like any good Starkid show, Cinderella’s Castle is relentlessly dynamic: fun and tragic and exciting and just-plain-silly, with many twists and turns and character moments will make you gasp or cheer just as often as you laugh. It simply rollicks. The story clicks right along, especially in act 2, but the characters are so distinct and fun that I found myself almost wishing the Langs had sacrificed their plotting and pace just to spend more time hanging with every single member of this ensemble of personalities.

And that’s also a tribute to the actors themselves. Jeff is David Bowie reborn as the impish and fabulous narrator. Jon and Joey bring Hop A Lot and Crumb to life with so much charm and presence that they practically had the audience eating out of their hands from the very first second. Like, seriously, you will not believe how invested you will immediately become in these talking animals. Kim’s Fairy Queen is as radiant and terrible as promised; her portrayal of immortal inhuman power compels and commands and stands fully distinct from the Lords in Black. Lauren and Mariah are delightfully disgusting as the vile but deeply lovable troll step-sisters; you can feel the fun they’re having practically radiating off of them. Curt’s Tadius is dryly funny and put-upon, but also provides a vitally grounding and centering presence in the larger-than-life world of the Lands That Are. His big scene with Bryce is probably my favorite part of the whole show. James Tolbert is nothing short of an absolute STAR as the Prince, stealing scene after scene after scene with ease and charm and more jokes about genitalia than I think any of us expected. Angela once again displays a completely different facet of her never-ending range, exuding such elegance and control even in trollish filth that I do fear that the kids on the internet are going to start calling her “mother” with greatly increasing frequency. "Facade" was an absolute highlight of the night. And of course Bryce anchors, propels, and heightens every scene she’s in with such apparent ease you forget she’s been rehearsing for weeks and isn’t simply Ella herself. Ella is this world’s bruised, brave, and angry heart, and you will absolutely root for her every step of the way as she wrestles with who she is and learns what it means to claim her own power.

This was Starkid’s biggest budgeted show to date, and you could tell. This group of Michigan Wolverines and friends have accomplished incredible things since the Very Potter days of a single door and some cardboard columns, and I’m so proud of how far they’ve come. And yet Cinderella’s Castle, the fifteenth musical in the fifteenth year, still retains some of that core Starkid magic that I’ve always believed boils down to love. You can so often see that love emanating from the performers on a Starkid stage: love for the show, for their friends, for their craft, for the audience’s energy pushing them through. And the sense of love and support and community radiating from the audience is just as palpable. The man sitting behind me last night was at his first ever Starkid show, and afterwards he remarked in awe how that was the best audience he’d ever been in. And all that love isn’t unearned—it is built and it is nourished by a proud history of creativity, of song and of dance and of laughter and tears. And Cinderella’s Castle, I think, is going to prove an installment worthy of both Starkid’s past and future.

Starkid family, Bogs Hollow grants thee Starlight.

[hotvintagepoll]

Cantinflas (Around the World in 80 Days, Ahí está el detalle, Ni Sangre, ni Arena)—OH BOY I GET TO TALK ABOUT CANTINFLAS!! Honestly, I’m not the most qualified to even be talking about him: he was famously a king of wordplay, but Spanish is my second language so I always feel like I’m missing some of the jokes…..but even so he is so SO funny it’s like unbelievable. Ok so also. One movie I can talk confidently about is him in around the world in 80 days, which i have watched so many times and he just rocks. Like. ROCKS. Here he is on his dumb little bike [included below the cut]. This is how we meet him in th movie and I think they should have just put the words “SCRUNGLY” across the scene.He also does little tricks, wears his dumb little shoes, has some kind of weird romantic thing going on with David niven…..it makes me so sad we dont have even more movies from him because honestly his whole thing (esp in 80 days with his silly trousers) is just Gender.  

Jack Elam (Kansas City Confidential, Once Upon a Time In the West)—The MOST character actor he's always playing weirdos. In Kansas City Confidential he gets slapped senseless and thrown around like a rag doll and he spends most of his limited screen time anxiously lighting one cigarette butt with another cigarette butt and also being covered in sweat. In Once Upon a Time in the West he gets terrorized by a fly.

This is round 1 of the contest. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. If you're confused on what a scrungle is, or any of the rules of the contest, click here.

[additional submitted propaganda + scrungly videos under the cut]

Cantinflas:

charlie chaplin once called him the greatest comedian alive

Jack Elam:

One of the A+ henchmen of gang movies and westerns. Usually paired with Claude Atkin (another contender for the scrungle-crown), he's made a career out of being a weird looking dude that plays bad guys. Jack Elam probably says it best himself: "The heavy today is usually not my kind of guy. In the old days, Rory Calhoun was the hero because he was the hero and I was the heavy because I was the heavy - and nobody cared what my problem was. And I didn't either. I robbed the bank because I wanted the money. I've played all kinds of weirdos but I've never done the quiet, sick type. I never had a problem - other than the fact I was just bad."

From 32:56 to 36:52 of this (it's the whole movie) [link]

[broidobe]

𝔟𝔢𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔯𝔦𝔢𝔡 𝔱𝔬 𝔭𝔢𝔱𝔢𝔯 𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔢𝔩𝔢 𝔴𝔬𝔲𝔩𝔡 𝔦𝔫𝔠𝔩𝔲𝔡𝔢

requested!

⁎⁺˳✧༚80s-90s rock masterlist

protective in a sweet and loving way

he’s not hovering over you

he's not constantly with you

always looking out for you and making sure you're safe, but in the most gentle, loving way

but his quiet watchfulness shows he cares

honestly you could talk to him for hours

on hours

he’s just so easy to talk to

art, philosophy, or the universe. he will talk about anything

his deep voice and soft-spoken manner would draw you in (cause it totally draws me in),

making even the heaviest topics feel like they’re part of a private world only the two of you understand.

he is such a homebody

like he never wants to leave your side

or the couch

despite his imposing appearance, he’d be a romantic at heart.

small gestures—like leaving you a note or remembering little things you like—would mean the world to him.

you’d always find him doing something thoughtful to make you smile.

so like big friendly giant

i swear, if i had a dollar for every time i made you laugh, we’d be rich by now. but since we’re not, maybe i should start charging you for my jokes

he might not be openly affectionate in public, but when you're alone, peter would be incredibly loving, often pulling you into a long hug or brushing his fingers against your skin as a sign of affection.

his love is shown through actions more than words.

i’m not good with words, but i hope you know how much you mean to me

his loyalty is FIRM

he will STICK WITH YOU

NEVER EVER doubting your love for eachother

when you’d get him laughing, it would be one of the most genuine and hearty laughs you've ever heard.

he might come off as a bit serious, but with you, he’d let his guard down and enjoy the little things in life.

you both share a look when something happens—whether it’s an inside joke or just an unspoken moment between the two of you.

it’s the kind of look that could speak volumes without saying a word, and you both know it means everything.

peter loves hugs.

when he gets home from a show or a long day, his first instinct is to wrap you in his arms, holding you tight for a moment before letting go.

it’s his way of grounding himself after the chaos of the world.

sundays are SACRED

they are RESERVED

no matter how busy things get, you'll both make sure to spend the day together

it’s your ritual, and it’s one of the best parts of the week.

totally spoils the shit outta you

proposal was pretty big man

he took you to a place that's significant to your relationship—whether it’s where you first met or somewhere you’ve always wanted to go—and surprised you with a heartfelt proposal.

he made sure it was an intimate moment, with just the right amount of surprise and emotion.

[inkskinned]

being single in your late 20s & 30s is so fucking wild bc on one hand it's fun and flirty and you skip a lot of the bullshit because you know what you're looking for and you know how to spot a red flag from a mile away and you've learned to set boundaries and communicate your own and be upfront about your needs and most of the time they've learned it too - and if they haven't, you can tell after the second date that they haven't been to therapy

and every time you feel lonely and dried up and an ugly husk there's a whole community of other single people out there who are just as unhinged and want to hang out with you because they just need a plus-one like you do and you get introduced to like. people in their 60's and 70's and 80's who are all like - nope, single life is my choice and i love it and you feel warm and seen and like okay, it's not the end of the world if i'm not seeing anybody. and yeah it's hard and sometimes exhausting but part of getting better is that you do make like so many friends and do so much wild shit because you made a promise to yourself that you'll actually get out there and try shit and actually work on your hobbies and skills and friendships because to be honest in relationships you wouldn't push yourself this hard and it's actually been super rewarding because it came from you and from what you wanted

and yes of course the apps such and dating in general can suck but after one of the bad dates you go back to your apartment and call up those friends you made and make jokes about what the other person said and it rolls right off your back and you have plans for self-care in the morning. you prioritize yourself and your happiness and you really actually don't mind it, a lot of the time, unless it's like at a wedding and they're doing one of those couples-related things. most of the time it's not even a problem except when you can tell people pity you for it and you're like - i'm actually fine, babe, even without a partner i am still, like a person and yes of course it would be nice to have a partner but you have established yourself as a person and as an adult in a way that feels really hard-won and well-earned and you're protective of that and of the life you're living and honestly you're pretty happy, all things considered

and at the same time you do have to tell your father that you are single on purpose right now and that, yes, believe it or not, they're letting women be single past the age of 30 these days without burning us at the stake (can you imagine!) and you have to kind of sit pretty while people make jokes about how you're losing your marriageability and you're like, a little too old for the bars and the clubs and whatever but you do still want to go out dancing and it's like. the other day you went to a board game party and had the time of your life and then your mom calls you and says she's worried because what if you never find the one, shouldn't you be spending more time looking? and you're like - trying to balance this place where you're actually, like, perfectly okay? except you hear this thing over and over and over - oh no. that's so sad. i hope you find your lover. and you weren't really upset about it until someone suggested that you're running out of time and until someone said that it's so miserable that you live without someone to kiss and you're like why can't anyone believe that i'm genuinely happy. like. joy. like. bliss.

and then they look at you and they look at their partner and the look passes between them that says - poor thing. you're just lying to yourself about this.

[bun-z-bakery]

(Repost from my abandoned account) these are just my personal head canons for dogday. this is a survivor au

(All characters are over 18 btw)

-dogday sometimes has dog like tendencies, like growling, barking etc.

-he doesn't remember a lot about his life as a worker but will share stories he remembers of his human life once you two become close.

-man is like a love sick puppy. First you save him? Give him legs? AND a home?! And his friends are here too?! You really are his angel.

-he's very protective of his angel. He can't have anyone take them away or even hurt them. Plus all those years locked away, he can't loose you, you're his hope.

-this man will most certainly plan his confession, script and all. Maybe you're away at work and this is something he's been working on for a while. He's always bringing you little gifts on his hunting trips (depending on if you like to collect rocks and such) but this dude went out of his way to find the best of the best. Even somehow found flowers beautiful enough to almost rival your beauty, keyword: almost.

-he enjoys spending time with you, poppy and kissy, he enjoys playing outside with you three, even if you guys have been out of the factory for years already. They still enjoy the outside world.

-I know bro is huge, like dude is taller than an American door way (according to some measurements fans have made, hes 9'5) if you're a shorty (like me 5 feet even😭) he will most definitely pick you up and carry you like a dogtoy. He likes the feeling of carrying his angel, it gives him a sense of pride doing so. Even if you accidentally hit the ceiling or he needs to really get down so you don't hit the top of the doorframe, he will always apologize or joke about it.

-he's a cuddler, he LOVES cuddling! He has his own giant dog bed in your shared room, but he prefers to sleep on your shared bed. If you're away from work and he's eepy, he'll pass out on your bed because it smells like you. Your scent keeps him at bay until you come home. Poor guy will shoot up and push anyone out of his way to be the first to get to you! He sits there on the floor waiting for his mandatory headpats and kisses as soon as he hears your keys.

-it takes his brain a few minutes to properly turn on. After all those years he finally gets proper sleep, I can imagine you waking up first and getting ready for the day to prepare breakfast for the group and you poke him, trying to wake him. He'll mumble some random stuff about not letting rats do taxes then fall back asleep only to be woken again by your pokes still talking nonsense. I can also see him sometimes waking up confused, you know like when you wake up your parents and they're mad for no reason asking what's wrong while gasping for air? (Just me?) I can see him being THAT dead asleep bhahsha

-my take on the survivor au is more of a modern take (as in yes the factory closed years also but reader is possibly in early to late 20s sometime in 20xx / non specified year) so they weren't an employee but probably knew someone like a family member who worked there or was dared to enter the factory (we'll see if I ever post my fanfic haha as these hcs kinda tie into that story) so dogday being alive in the 80s or 90s he probably has like the old school idea of love and attempts to swoon you as such. The flowers, cheesy pick up lines.

-I can imagine because he's not up to date with the newer terms and he might be confused while trying to seem cool haha. "Angel what does rizzler mean?" (Poor peepaw)

- Personally I love the theory that DogDay is an ex worker aka Rich. Which is probably why he was the leader of the smiling critters. Because he was mature enough to make sure everyone was in line/well behaved, I also think some other workers were turned into the mascots too (obviously) but maybe they trusted Rich more so they just threw him into the dance circle and hope that he'd be a good leader.

- this one ties into the first one btw! I like the think that maybe he was one of the mascots when he worked there. Like a guy in the costume who worked with the kids (hence the zipper, how else would the workers get into the bigger body suits?)

- I like to think DogDay likes when Angel calls him by his old human name. Maybe once he opens up more about his human life (or at least bringing up some of the memories he still has) he just randomly brings up his name when talking about a memory and hearing Angel repeat his name back, he'd probably like hearing it. It might make him feel like less of a monster in a sense. Granted I think he wouldn't care about what Angel calls him but he would most definitely prefer for them to alternate. Like you know when someone makes you mad and you use their real name instead of their nickname? He'd hate for his Angel to get mad, especially at him. But when living with 3 other people it can get a bit hectic.

"DogDay! Did you bring mud into the house?!"

"N-No!... "

*silence*

"RICH, WHERE ARE YOU?!"

*footsteps are heard and DogDay bolts out the door*

- Now this head canon I have can go either one of two ways, right? Hear me out. Listen up, listen carefully, and listen closely. (Lmk if you got that reference) ok so back to the zipper! I think the zipper just opens to his organs tbh like the zipper was just left functional in case he needed to be "repaired internally". BUT another thought, I also can see there being some sort of barrier! You know those stuff animals who have their stuffing blocked by a barrier so it doesn't fall out but the zipper opens to a compartment where you can store items? I kinda think that's whats there tbh, I mean it makes sense. What if one of the kids opened the zipper by mistake? Surely there would be a barrier just in case.

- as I mentioned in the last hc post, I can see him trying to swoon Angel in the old romantic type of way. I can see him pinning after Angel hard, at first they wouldn't get the hint, they'd probably think he's thinks he's indebted to them for rescuing them and giving the 3 of them a better and new life. But quickly they realize bro is in love. Of course poppy teases him about it too at some point lol. He doesn't really try to hide it either. I can see poppy and kissy thinking it's sweet and first then they get annoyed once you're the only thing he talk about lol.

- You're married. That's all! No but I can see in his mind you two are basically married. He'd probably want to have new custom star collars made for both of you or maybe even a ring for you and a matching collar or something for him to wear and propose. Of course it will bother him a bit because he can't go out with you, take you on dates or show you off but he trusts you (even though he gets jealous when you smell like someone else) he basically tries his best with what you guys have (If only there was a holiday that came once a year where you guys could go out dressed in customs without looking like freaks).

- He looks like the type of guy who would love pasta. I'm not sure why or how this even came into mind but I just feel like that's what he often wants for dinner. Poppy would probably eat fruit for dinner, kissy isn't really picky, but Dogday would probably be asking for either pasta or meat. Also I think Angel would be hesitant to feed certain foods to Dogday because you know, he's a dog (not really but hear me out) but because he acts like one at times I could see Angel being like haha nope you can't eat this!

*Angel eating chocolate cookies*

"May I have some?" *cutely pouts*

"I don't want you dying, love."

"You know I'm not actually a dog...right?"

ok ok you got me there" (they just really didn't wanna share lol)

- tbh this is more of a general head canon for the toys but I seeing as they had to resort to c*nnibalism. They clearly need food and water to survive. I think catcap was probably keep Dogday alive as a "lol now look at you now, look at me" (yes that's a BP reference) moment but only feeds him when he felt like it, since food is basically scarce in that place. I think that their human organs were transferred over but little things like veins, teeth, tongue, blood vessels basically anything that's not a major organ was made artificially and connected in a sense to those major organs making them function as such.

Yeah that's kinda it lol, there might be some more parts to this if I can think of anything else! But yeahhh that's kinda my hc and rambles lol (I tend to ramble a lot especially when I have to give context, I apologize!)

[javierpena-inatacvest]

Chapter 5: You're the One That I Want

Summary: You and Javi spend the day running errands when you encounter a few unexpected surprises. After returning back to your apartment, you both face the reality that your weekend together is coming to an end, hoping for more time together soon.

Word Count: 10.6K (I am so genuinely sorry, there's A LOT goin' on in this chapter.)

Warnings: SMUT (18+), unprotected P in V sex (don't be a fool, wrap your tool), vaginal fingering, creampie, car sex, semi-public sex, mentions of pregnancy/pregnancy scares, mentions of periods, mentions of food, sweet Javi being embarrassed about his past, Javi having it SO bad for you...Lorraine....

A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who's liked and reblogged, this is my first ever fic that I've written and I'm so glad people are enjoying it!!! 🥺 This chapter has a lot that happens and I already had to split it up once (yikes on my part), excited to write about what these two crazy kids are up to next!!

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You rummaged through your drawers to pull out a pair of black biker shorts and a form fitting sage green tank top, knowing that a Laredo 80 degree day felt like a Chicago 95. You normally would have gone baggy, oversized t-shirt, but given your company, you decided to up your wardrobe choices. Javi leaned against your doorway, arms folded and jaw slack as he watched you get dressed. He had already spent the majority of the morning with you naked, yet something about you putting on more clothes made him half hard again. It didn’t help that you had purposefully picked a black, lacy thong and skimpier than usual sports bra to go under your outfit. You looked yourself over in the mirror before meeting Javi in the doorway. 

“Ready?” 

“You sure we have to go? You’re killin’ me dressed like that, Osita.” 

“Yes, we do, or I am going to die of starvation in my own home.” You pressed up on your tiptoes to give him a quick peck on the lips. 

You did one last check of your kitchen before grabbing your grocery list, purse and keys and slipping on your shoes by your front door. Javi followed suit, trailing behind you as you led your way down the stairs to the parking lot. It was only 11:00 AM, but the hot Texas sun was already beating down, radiating heat waves from the asphalt. Reaching the parking lot, you both unknowingly began walking in separate directions. “Okay, so I’m thinking I’ll probably do my non-food stops first and then we can go to the grocery store after so nothing bakes too much in the car. God is it always this hot? Does that work?” Silence. “Javi?” You turned around to find that Javi had gone in the complete opposite direction “Where are you going?!” You shouted.

“My car is parked over here? Where are you going?” 

“My car is parked over here” you pointed in the direction you were walking. 

“Let me drive.” 

“Do you think I’m not a good driver? Is it because I’m a woman? That’s a little sexist, don’t ya think?” 

“What?! No I never said that?” 

“Javi, I’m joking. I’m more than capable of driving.” 

“I know you are, but I’m offering.” 

You thought for a minute about pushing back again, but your boiling state in the blistering heat was a painful reminder you desperately needed to get your car AC fixed, and you weren’t going to subject Javi to burning alive with you. 

“Fine.” You said with a huff of defeat, changing directions and making your way back toward Javi. You got to his truck as he opened up the passenger door for you and you muttered under your breath. 

“And you think I’m the stubborn one.” 

“I heard that.” 

As Javi started his car, he pushed open the overhead compartment over the driver’s side to pull out a pair of yellow tinted aviators. It was truly unfair that this man found ways to keep getting hotter. The cool breeze from the AC hit your face as soft music played from the stereo.

“Where to first, Osita?” 

“Toy-R-Us.”

Javi raised an eyebrow in confusion.

“Not for me, dummy. My niece turns 5 in a few weeks and even though I’m not close by, I still want to get her a birthday present. It should be quick, I think I know what I want to get her. Then we can go grocery shopping.” 

Javi nodded in agreement as he backed out of his parking spot and you two hit the road. 

“Didn’t know that you were an Aunt.” 

“Yeah, my oldest brother, Charlie, has two little girls, 5 and 3, and he and his wife are expecting another one that’s due in November. Neither of my other brothers have kids. They’re the cutest. I miss them, don’t want Olivia to think I’m a deadbeat Aunt who forgot her birthday.” 

“My old DEA partner Steve and his wife have a daughter named Olivia. Maybe a little bit older than your niece. Been a while since I’ve caught up with him.” 

Javi could vividly remember the day he and Steve brought Olivia home to Connie, Steve’s wife. Crying and scared, Javi watching as they immediately wrapped little Olivia in their arms, showering her with love and affection. The 3 of them looked so perfect together, accepting the little girl into their family. While Javi congratulated them and told them he was happy Olivia would be in a safe home, he would never reveal the sting he felt knowing his chances of having what the Murphy’s did grew slimmer and slimmer with each day that passed in Colombia. 

Before he left, Javi had always hoped he’d have a family. He loved his parents so dearly, and wished that one day he could have a resemblance of what they did with the person he loved. His relationship with Lorraine had left him hurt and scorned, as he had almost gotten what he had wished for, but with a woman who couldn’t have cared less about him. By the time he left Colombia, he had written the idea off completely. He was tired. Broken. Scared by the things he had seen, worse yet, done. If he could barely keep himself together, how the hell was he supposed to have a family? He couldn’t imagine burdening someone else, let alone children, with the weight he carried with him. That was until 5 days ago on a Wednesday afternoon in late May. That was until he met you. 

“That’s nice that you still keep in touch with him.” You wanted to ask more, but for now, you would take any information you could get about his life before you. 

“Yeah, Steve’s a good guy. Pain in my ass, but meant well.” 

“You seem to attract a type.” 

“And what would that be?” 

“A pain in your ass.” 

Javi shook his head and chuckled. “You’re a lot cuter than Steve. Makes it a little easier to forgive you.” You playfully punched him, the two of you laughing softly to yourselves as Javi reached his free hand down to set it on the bare skin of your thigh. You sat quietly for a few moments, enjoying his thumb trace gently around your flesh. It was a surprisingly quick trip to the Toys-R-Us. Javi’s truck pulled into a parking spot as you began debriefing him on what you needed as you walked into the store. 

“Okay so when I talked on the phone with Olivia last week, she told me she really wants Polly Pockets. I’m just worried because the pieces are so small and I don’t want her sister to accidentally choke on them. I feel like a lot of the Kindergarteners really like those Sky Dancers but they always break. Her mom says she’s been into Pokémon cards but I feel like she’ll get bored of them.” 

“Poké-what? Osita, I have no idea what the hell any of that means.” 

“Right, sorry, I forgot not everyone spends the majority of their time with 8 year olds. This is all I hear about day in and day out, so I might as well put my knowledge to good use.” 

Javi followed you through the brightly colored aisles, stopping as you occasionally would pick up a toy to examine it and then put it back down. As you walked, you talked about your favorite toys from childhood, Javi’s being his collection of Hot Wheels cars that he was convinced his dad still had somewhere in the attic, yours being your Lite Brite because it was the only thing your brothers wouldn’t try to take from you. You continued your journey until you stopped at a brightly colored bear holding a marker. “This one is perfect. My class loves these Doodle Bears. The bear is cute, she can draw on it and wash it off, and Charlie isn’t gonna be pissed that it needs batteries or will take forever to set up. Perfect.” 

“Nice pick, Osita. Seems fitting.” 

“I keep forgetting that means bear. Guess it is fitting.” You giggled as you plucked the bear off the shelf and began heading back towards the front of the store to check out. As you walked side by side, Javi reached down to grab your hand and interlock his fingers with yours. Neither of you said anything, but you didn’t need to. The smile on both of your faces said everything. 

You made your way to the checkout lines, the store being fairly busy for a Sunday Afternoon. You settled on what seemed to be the shortest one, with only a mom, her husband and two little boys in front of you. 

“TYLER  AND SAMUEL DOOGAN, I SWEAR IF YOU DO NOT STOP CLIMBIN’ ALL OVER THIS CART THIS INSTANT, I WILL TAKE AWAY ALL OF YOUR POKÉMON CARDS FOR THE ENTIRE SUMMER.” You could feel the frustration radiating from the petite woman in front of you without even seeing her face. She turned around to face her husband standing behind her, reading a video game magazine, completely oblivious to his children’s antics. “Randy, can you please just tell them to get off? BOYS, ENOUGH.” 

“Yeah, sure honey… Boys, you heard your mother, get down.” Randy muttered, not bothering to take his eyes off the magazine or even attempt to sound convincing. 

You said nothing, knowing all too well how big of a pain kids could be, but when you turned up to look at Javi, his face had gone ghost white. 

“Oh, fuck…” He muttered under his breath, just barely loud enough for you to hear. 

“You okay?” 

“Uh yeah, um-” His eyes darted frantically back and forth across the checkout aisles. “Um, it looks like there’s a shorter line over-” 

“Javi?” The woman’s Texan twang spoke to him with an unsettling sense of familiarity. 

“Hi, Lorraine.” 

Oh shit. The wires in your brain clicked as you remember your co-workers mentioning their disdain for this woman. You still weren’t quite sure of her connection to Javi, but given his drained face and her snappy demeanor, you had a feeling this woman was bad news. 

“Heard you’re back for good. How are things?” 

“Uh, yeah. They’re fine. How about you?” You could practically feel the tension in Javi’s body. 

“Fine. TYLER I SWEAR TO GOD.” She whipped her head around once again to yell at the fidgety boy. 

“Randy, you remember Javi.” 

Randy and Javi said nothing to each other and only exchanged painful grimaces, acknowledging the uncomfortable circumstance they found themselves in. 

“What the hell you doin’ at a Toys-R-Us?” 

You piped in, trying to give Javi any relief you could. “It’s um, my niece’s birthday. Just going shopping to get her something.” 

“And you are?” 

Stunned by her bluntness, you found yourself speechless. “Oh, um, I’m um-” 

“She’s my girlfriend.” 

His what?! 

Javi gave your hand a reassuring squeeze. This trip was definitely not going as expected. 

“Ah.” Her cold gaze met your shock. “Just be careful with this one.” 

“Lorraine…” 

“Fine, I won’t say anything else. Just figured she deserved a warning.” 

“Lorraine, enough.” You had never heard his voice get that stern. Whatever had gone on between them had definitely not ended on good terms. “Looks like you got what you wanted anyways.” He gestured to the two boys now running wild up and down the checkout line, and Randy absent mindedly staring into his magazine. 

If Lorraine’s looks could kill, Javi would be a dead man. Her brow scrunched deeper in anger. “Well, good to see you Javi.” She snapped back around as she picked up the bags at the end of the checkout aisle and grabbed both boys by the back of their shirts. “RANDY! Let’s go!” Finally coming to, Randy meandered behind, following Lorraine and the two squirming boys in her grasp. 

“Fuck me…” Javi whispered to himself, running both of his hands over his face. 

“Next in line!” 

You checked out silently, figuring waiting to get back to the car was a better place to discuss what the hell just happened. The only thing breaking the dead silence on the way back to the truck was the occasional grunt or heavy sigh from Javi. You both took your perspective seats in the car as he started the engine. 

“Soooooo… I’m not one to pry, but uh, what happened back there?” 

“Fuck, Osita, I’m so sorry.” His fists were basically white knuckling the steering wheel at this point. 

“Javi, why are you sorry?” 

“Just- fuck. Her and how she talked to you, you shouldn’t have to deal with that.” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, she seemed delightful.” Javi stared at the roof of his car, breathing deeply. Jokes weren’t going to help the situation. You reached out to grab his arm, causing him to shift his gaze at you. “Javi, like I said, I don’t want to pry, but I promise, whatever you tell me, I’m not gonna judge you for it. I get that shit happens, and it obviously seems like Lorraine isn’t the nicest, I’m sure there’s a good reason for whatever happened between you two. 

He let out a few deep breaths, formulating his response. “It’s a long story.” 

“I’ve got plenty of time.” 

You grabbed his arm a little tighter, hoping that your sympathetic stare was enough to prove that you weren’t here to judge him for his past. 

“Okay. Are you hungry? Do you wanna get lunch and talk about it?” 

“I can always eat. What’d you have in mind?” 

“There’s a sandwich place a few minutes from here. Been going there a lot since I started the new job. It’s pretty good. Does that work?” 

“Love me a good sandwich. Sounds great, Javi.” 

He nodded as you gave his muscles one more squeeze before letting him go so he could back out of his parking spot. You waited until he was back on the road to bring up the other no so subtle bomb that had just been dropped. 

“Girlfriend, huh?” 

A smile finally made its way back to his face. 

“Uh, yeah. If uh, if that’s something you want. I know it’s um, kinda fast, but I really like you Osita.” 

“I don’t know, I just really want to spend all my time hanging out with this super hot dude who’s sweet and funny and is the best sex I’ve ever had… but him being my boyfriend… I’m not sure…” you giggled and smirked at him. 

“Best sex you’ve ever had, huh?” He smirked back at you and raised his eyebrows. 

“Don’t let it go to your head too much.” You rolled your eyes and shrugged at him. “I really like you too, Javi. I would love to be your girlfriend.” 

Both your faces spread wide with childish grins as you reached over to grab Javi’s hand and intertwine it with yours. Girlfriend. It had a nice ring to it. 

Pulling into the small parking lot of Alejandro’s Deli and Sandwiches, you released your hand from his to cup his face, kissing him long and intensely. 

“You ready, boyfriend?” Putting an extra emphasis on the last word. 

“Yes, let’s go, you dork.” 

The shop was small and well loved, and was clearly a favorite in the area. Past the deli counter were a few small sets of tables and chairs, where people were scattered about enjoying their food. As you waited in line and stared at the menu board, Javi’s hand never left yours. 

“What are you thinking of getting?” Javi could clearly tell you were having a hard time deciding as the line continued to move forward. 

“You’re the sandwich expert here, what do you normally get?” 

“Either the club or the roast beef. Everyone says the BLT is good too.” 

“Winner, winner, BLT dinner. I was trying to decide between that one and the Italian, but a BLT sounds SO good right now.” 

“Do you want to go grab a table for us while I order? It gets busy here and there’s an open spot in the back corner.” 

“Sure!” You let go of his hand to begin rummaging through your purse. 

“What are you doing?” 

“Looking through my purse for the other BLT I had stored in here. I’m getting money so I can pay for my sandwich.” 

“You’re not paying for the sandwich.” 

“Let me pay for it!” 

“You’re not paying for it.” 

“Ugh, Javier Peña, don’t deny that you are just as stubborn as I am. Fine, thank you for the sandwich.” 

You sat your things down in the windowsill next to the corner in the back of the shop as you waited for Javi to join you. You looked around to see cute photos of what you assumed was Alejandro’s family, a man eating a sandwich as long as him, and 3 kids chasing a dog who had stolen their lunch. Javi returned quickly with your orders, plus a bag of chips and a chocolate chip cookie. “Chips and a cookie? A man after my own heart. Thank you again, this place is super cute!” 

“Yeah the guys at the station suggested my first day because my dumbass forgot my lunch.” 

You took a big bite of your sandwich as Javi spoke. “Well it’s a 10 out of 10 suggestion, this is the best sandwich I have had in so long.” You took a few more bites before working up the courage to bring up the reason you were eating sandwiches in the first place. “So… Lorraine.” 

Javi wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and let out a heavy sigh before he spoke. “Yeah… Lorraine.” 

You reached across the table to grab his hand. “Javi, like I said before, I’m not here to judge. I get that things happen. I promise, it’s not gonna make me think any less of you.” 

“How do you know that?” 

“Because I know you’re a good person.” 

Fuck. That one hit Javi in a way that he wasn’t sure how to feel. In his heart, he had convinced himself that he was the exact opposite. He wasn’t a good person. He didn’t deserve to have people think he was. He wasn’t a hero, he wasn’t someone that people should celebrate. A good person was the last thing he considered himself to be. But here you were. He has let you in to see the glimpses of his past and it only made you want him more. You wanted to be his girlfriend. You wanted to be with him. Despite the things he had done, and the person he so desperately wanted to separate himself from. You cared about him. 

“You really want the whole story?” 

“I have a full belly, handsome man to stare at while I listen, and all the time in the world. Yes. Full story.” 

With a deep breath, Javi began to explain how he had met Lorraine in high school. On a dare from his friends, he asked Lorraine to prom after she had broken up with her all star quarterback boyfriend, and desperate not to go to her Senior year dance alone, she said yes. Things were never really great between them, Javi admitted they were young, stupid and horny, and when it was time for them to leave for different colleges, he had tried to put an end to things. That didn’t stop her from calling Javi every time she was at Texas A&M to visit friends to hook up with him and fuck with his head enough to make him reconsider things, until she left again, leaving him feeling dejected and empty. This went on until they both found themselves back in Laredo after graduating college, Javi working on his family ranch while applying for various law enforcement jobs and Lorraine working at her aunt’s flower shop. Now both back in the same place, Lorraine had approached Javi about wanting to try things again. He didn’t love the idea, but it didn’t stop them from hooking up in the back of his truck after he took her out for dinner a few days later. 

A few weeks went by and Javi didn’t hear much from Lorraine, until one day he got a frantic phone call telling him to meet her as soon as possible. Once they were together, Javi found Lorraine crying in the diner parking lot she chose to have him meet at, and their conversation went a little like this: 

“Lorraine, what’s wrong?” 

“I missed my period. It’s two weeks late.” 

“Fuck. How? We used a condom, right?” 

“Yes. I don’t know Javi, apparently it can still happen.” 

“Fuck me. Shit, um, okay. Okay, fuck. What do you want to do?” 

“I don’t want all of Laredo to know that you knocked me up on a one night stand. God dammit, Javi, I don’t know? It doesn't look as bad if we were engaged or married, or something!” 

“Married?! Lorraine…” 

“Do you have a better idea?” 

He didn’t. And in that moment, he panicked. How could he not? There was nothing less he wanted than to spend the rest of his life with Lorraine, let alone have a child with her. But he wasn’t going to leave this baby without a father and felt so awful about what he had done to Lorraine. He drove home that night, tears streaming down his face as he tried to come to grips with his fate. 

The next two months were a whirlwind, Lorraine trying to plan the wedding as fast as possible to avoid any suspicions of looking pregnant. Flowers, catering, decorations, terrible, uncomfortable suits, Javi hated every moment of it. He was miserable. His parents knew something wasn’t right, despite Javi’s efforts to convince them otherwise. They never cared much for Lorraine to begin with, and the unfortunate circumstances weren’t helping. 

A week before the wedding, Javi received a phone call, which to his relief, wasn’t Lorraine. It was a call from a secretary at the DEA office in Texas, asking if Javi wanted to come in and interview for a position. It was the first shred of hope he had felt in months, gladly offering to come in the next day. The interview went so well, the hiring agents offered him the position on the spot. There was only one catch. He was going to be stationed in Colombia, and he needed to leave by the end of the month. When he left, he thanked the team for their time, and told him that he would think about it. Everything in his body wanted to scream “I’ll leave right now, please, anything to get me out of the hell that I’m currently living in!” But he knew he needed to think about it first before he just up and left. 

His brain stewed over his possibilities for the next few days, leaving him more absent minded about his impending wedding, even though it was less than a week away. The night before his big day, he couldn’t have felt worse. Lorraine had called him to come over and finish up last minute plans before the day came, and begrudgingly, Javi was at her house, listening to her frantically list of things that needed to happen before tomorrow. Javi didn’t hear a single word that came out of her mouth, and excused himself to go to her bathroom to try and get a moment of peace. After washing his hands, he looked down at the trash can next to the vanity. The next thing he knew, he was carrying the waste basket to Lorraine, using every last ounce of self restraint he had not to completely lose it. 

“Lorraine.” 

“What?” 

“What the fuck is this?” He held up the waste basket, his hands shaking. 

“What the fuck are you talking about, Javi?” 

“You know exactly what the fuck I’m talking about Lorraine. Why the fuck is your trashcan filled with tampon wrappers and a fucking negative pregnancy test?!” 

She sat in silence. 

“Lorraine, fucking answer me!” 

“My period started last week.” 

“And you weren’t going to tell me?!”

“Javi, the wedding is less than a week away!” 

“Lorraine, that was the whole fucking reason we were doing this in the first place! What did you expect, for me just to not notice when you didn’t have a kid 7 months from now?! Jesus Fucking Christ.”��

“What did you want me to do, Javi?! I can’t just call off the wedding, my parents paid a lot of money for this, there are people coming from all over! It would be embarrassing!” 

“I can’t fucking believe this. You were actually going to go through with this and didn’t even care if you told me that you weren’t really pregnant. Unbelievable.” Slamming the trashcan down on the ground, Javi stormed out the door. 

“Javi, wait!” 

“Fuck you, Lorraine.” 

There was no use trying to deny it anymore. When Javi came home, he broke down to his parents what had happened and how this whole mess had begun in the first place. She wasn’t pregnant, he didn’t want to marry her, he wanted to get as far away as possible from the wake of destruction he had left in his past. He practically begged his parents to drop him off at the airport, wanting to leave as soon as he could. As much as his parents hated to see him go, they couldn’t contribute to the pain and guilt their son already felt. That night was spent calling the DEA to accept the position, packing everything Javi could fit in a suitcase and hugging his mom and dad tightly as he said his goodbyes and got ready to board the next plane to Colombia. The next day, Lorraine was so busy preparing herself and getting ready for the wedding, making sure everyone knew the day revolved around her, that she had no idea Javi was already on a plane across the country. It wasn’t until all of the guests were seated and waiting in the pews of the church that they had figured out Javi was gone. 

Lorraine had obviously come to some peace about it, hearing through the phone calls with his parents that 8 months later she was engaged to some guy named Randy who had some big wig job in finance. He had been home not too long ago, HR mandating that he had to use some of his PTO days he refused to take, to attend a wedding of one of his dad’s cousins, where he saw Lorraine for the first time since he had left her at the alter. She had been nicer to Javi then, perhaps taking pity on the fact that he looked so sad and desperate as he tried to talk with her. There must have been something about seeing Javi happy with another woman that absolutely set her ablaze, leaving you in the wake of the mess that was Lorraine Doogan. 

Javi finished his story with a deep breath and another run of his hand across his face. 

“Javi, holy shit.” 

“You ready to take back that ‘you’re a good person’ comment yet?” 

One hand reached up to cup the side of his strong jaw, while the other grabbed his hand resting on the table that had been curled up in a fist the entirety of telling his story. “Javi, what are you talking about? Of course not. What Lorraine did you was so fucked up, trying to trap you into marrying her with an imaginary baby because she was too embarrassed to say otherwise? I’m so sorry that happened to you, Javi.” 

His only response was a half forced smile, his eyes still staring down at the table. 

“If it makes you feel any better, her kids are absolute assholes- I know it’s mean to say that about a kid, but it’s true. They go to my school and they’re in the office every day getting yelled at for doing something stupid. To be honest, I kind of think you dodged a bullet on that one.” His face perked up a little more, letting out a small huff of laughter. You pushed his chin up, forcing him to look at you. 

“Javier Peña, look at me.” You could almost see the guilt and sadness welling in his eyes. “I do not think you are a terrible person. I promise. Thank you for telling me about this, I’m glad you trust me enough to let me know.” You leaned across the small table between you to give him a kiss. 

“Thanks, Osita.” 

“There’s nothing to thank me for. I’m here to listen whenever you want to talk. Whaddya say we go get the rest of these groceries so we can head back?” 

You gathered the remains of your lunch to throw away, taking the unopened bag of chips to go as you buckled back in for your final destination. The grocery store was in the complete opposite direction of your current location, so you began shuffling through the CD compartment in his glove box to try and pick out some music to lighten the mood for your drive. 

“Fleetwood Mac, AC/DC, Stevie Wonder, Kenny Rogers… The Grease Soundtrack?! You are a man of many different tastes, Mr. Peña.” 

“Okay, the Grease one Steve gave to me as a joke one year for my birthday.” 

“And yet, here it is in your car. That means you had to take it all the way back from Colombia with you, unpack it, AND put it in here.” You waved the CD around in your hands, mockingly. 

“...Some of the songs are kind of catchy.” 

“I knew it!” You popped the CD out of its case and into the radio. “What song do you want?” 

“I don’t really know the names of any of them…” 

You crossed your arms and smirked at him, knowing sooner or later, he'd give you a response. 

“.... You’re The One That I Want.” Javi admittedly defeated. 

“Don’t know any of the names, my ass.” You laughed to yourself as you skipped several tracks ahead to Javi’s song selection. 

You turned the volume up as you let the music play through John Travolta’s verse, curious to see if you could catch Javi singing along. By the time you were at Olivia Newton-John’s part, you had bursted into full out song, Javi snickering to himself watching your theatrics. 

“You better shape up, ‘cause I need a man. And my heart is set on youuuuuuuuu!” You continued your performance through your laughing and dancing. It didn’t take long for you to spy out of the corner of your eye, Javi beginning to mouth the words to himself. You had already teased him enough about his enjoyment of the song that you weren’t about to say a single thing as he sang along. It warmed your heart to see Javi bring down his guard, letting you further and further into the world he lived in. Even if all it was, was singing together in his car. As the song ended, Javi turned down the music, his face suddenly becoming more serious. 

“If you ever meet Steve, you have to swear to me you’ll never tell him about this. He will never let me live it down.” 

“I’m not sure… I know very little about Steve, but the thought of how much shit he’d give you for your deep, dark, Grease secret does sound entertaining.” 

Javi’s mood now having done a complete 180 from your last drive to the sandwich shop, you both headed into the grocery store happy and ready for the last part of your errands. Grabbing a cart, you headed through the produce section, starting with fruits. 

“Okay, list says I need apples, bananas, blueberries and maybe strawberries if they’re good.” You both casually strolled, Javi reaching for the items from your list closest to you and putting them into your cart as you continued on your journey. You made your way through vegetables next, Javi very explicitly stating his distaste for the carrot sticks you had on your list. 

“They’re so crunchy and bland, and they just remind me of feeding the horses.” 

“You have horses at your ranch?” 

“Yup, a few of them. Some of our family keeps their horses there, but Pops and I take care of them all.” 

“That’s so cool! Do you have any other animals there?” 

“Cows and sheep mostly. Some random chickens that we can’t seem to get rid of.” 

“That’s amazing. The reason I chose Laredo to move to is because my best friend from elementary school moved down here when we were in high school, and I would visit her family every summer on their ranch. She always made fun of me for how it seemed like I was always more excited to see the animals than her.”  

“You can come over to the ranch and see the animals if you want.” 

“Really?!” 

“Any time, Osita.” 

You threw another bag of carrots into your cart. “If I want these horses to like me, I gotta bribe them with something!” Javi laughed, picking the bag up and putting it back with the other carrots. 

“Baby, we have plenty of carrots at the ranch. I’m not eating any extras you get.” 

You breezed through the rest of your trip, quickly filling up your cart as you and Javi talked more about his ranch, any other foods that fell into the same category as carrots (you were thankful that you both collectively agreed that olives belonged in the same realm), and made fun of you as you put the largest sized vanilla coffee creamer in with the rest of your items. Your checkout line experience was much more pleasant than the one you had experienced a few hours ago. Javi knew the older, frail man working the register, greeting him politely. 

“Hi Mr. Garcia, how are you?” 

“Javier Peña. Good to see you son. I heard from Chucho you ditched him at the ranch for a new job at the sheriff’s department.” 

“I don’t know if ditch is the right word, still try to help out while I can.” 

Polite smiles were exchanged as you continued to load items from your cart onto the conveyor belt. 

“I don’t think I’ve met your wife before.” Mr. Garcia now looking at you. Javi just about dropped the carton of eggs he was carrying before responding. Part of him almost didn’t even want to correct it. 

“Uh, no, um, girlfriend.�� 

“Well, she’s a cutie.” Mr. Garcia winked at you before you raised your eyebrows to smirk at a now very flustered and embarrassed Javi. 

“I don’t know, Jav. Looks like you’ve got some competition. Mr. Garcia seems like a real catch.” You playfully winked back at him, causing the old man to rumble with laughter. 

“And funny too.” 

You loaded the bags back into your cart and paid for your groceries. As you were sorting, you overhead the two men talking. 

“She’s a keeper, Javier.” 

“Yeah, she is.” 

Now a little louder, Mr. Garcia helped you load the last bag into your cart before saying goodbye. “Nice to see you Javi. Nice to meet you too, sweetheart.” 

“Thanks Mr. Garcia, have a nice day!” 

You began loading your items into Javi’s trunk, watching as his biceps flexed deliciously as he lifted the bags up to put them away. You really had to convince yourself to focus on putting the rest of your groceries away. 

Your errands done for the day, you and Javi began the drive back to your apartment. It hadn’t hit you until you looked at the clock radio in his car that it was already 5 o’clock, and that your time with Javi was starting to dwindle, considering the fact that both of you had to work the next day. You glanced at him as he was driving, aviators propped on his face, the tanned skin of his chest exposed from the buttons he seemed to hate having done up, his arms grasping the steering wheel. The image of him made your heart race. Wanting to make sure you capitalized on your time, and realizing now you had zero self control, you were tempted to ask him to pull over his truck right then and there. No, you can make it until you get home, you horny idiot. You thought to yourself, knowing how pissed you would be if you ruined your groceries all because you couldn’t control yourself for a few more minutes. Subconsciously, you licked around your bottom lip, staring at the gorgeous man next to you. 

“Hermosa?” 

“Huh, what? Did you say something?” You shook your head to bring yourself back to reality. 

“I asked if we needed to stop anywhere before we went back to your apartment.” 

“Oh, no. I, uh, I don’t need anything else, sorry.” 

“Something on your mind?” Javi prodded, noticing that you hadn’t fully been paying attention. 

“No, nothing, I’m good.” He spotted the lie instantly. Grasping around the exposed meat of your thigh he gave it a squeeze before sliding his hand further up your leg. 

“Sure you don’t have anything on your mind?” His hand now at your hip, fingers dancing along the hem of your shorts, grazing your skin. He knew exactly what he was doing. Your breathing sped up as you let a gulp fall down your throat. At this point, you were only 5 minutes away from your apartment, but you were absolutely positive you were not going to make it that long. Fuck it, your groceries would be fine, right? 

“Pull over.” 

Thankful for the long stretches of dirt roads and pockets of abandoned buildings on your way back to your apartment, Javi quickly pulled off to an empty parking lot of a closed down store. You were practically jumping into his lap by the time he had put the car in park. Mouths and tongues clashed as you pulled yourselves into one another. Your kissing reflected the sexual tension that had quickly built up in the truck only minutes ago as you frantically moved about. Feeling how worked up you were already, you sought to seek some form of relief by grinding down on the seam of Javi’s jeans, relieving some of the ache between your legs. Javi grabbed your hips, his fingers digging into the outside of your shorts as he pushed you down into him. He reciprocated the motion, pushing himself up into you, no better than two horny teenagers dry humping in the secret of their parent’s basement. Javi kissed your neck before the tickle of his mustache crept near your ear. 

“So needy, baby. Couldn’t wait ‘till we got back, huh?” 

In between your mouths meeting you were able to break away for a few moments to respond. 

“Well if my boyfriend wasn’t so fucking hot it would have made it a lot easier. I want you so bad Javi.” 

Just like that, Javi had you stripped down to your bra, practically ripping your tank top off you. You helped him shuffle down your shorts and thong, taking a moment to smack it against your ass before it looked around your ankles. His hand reached down to palm around your pussy, already wet from the short time you had spent grinding into his lap. He ran his fingers up and down the length of your folds, collecting your slick before dipping inside of you. 

“Fuck Hermosa, always so wet for me. Want me to cum inside you like I did this morning? Fill you up? 

Before you could answer, his thumb began a frantic pace against your clit to match the pace his fingers pumped in and out of you. He pulled his face closer into your breasts, kissing around them and sucking on your pebbled nipples. Your hips grinded down on his hand, pushing his fingers deeper in you. You tilted your head back and moaned in pleasure. His fingers continued in and out, hitting the spongy spot deep inside you that made you feel like you were about to come undone. That, matched with his calloused thumb rubbing against your bundle of nerves had you on the edge of collapse.

 “Javi, fuck, fuck I’m almost there, I’m gonna-“ 

You felt the coil in your belly snap suddenly, as pleasure ran though you with a sheer intensity. Your hips came to a stop as you slumped into his body, breathing heavily. Your head rested in the crook of his neck as he whispered to you. 

“Such a good fucking girl. Always taking me so well.” 

As he watched you come down from your high, he gently pushed you further down his lap to undo his belt buckle and slide down his pants and boxers just low enough to let his already hard cock spring to its release. You scooted yourself further up again, licking your palm to wrap around Javi’s girth, stroking him a few times before raising your hips up to slowly sink down on his length. You gasped at the sweet sting of his size inside you, taking your time to adjust, lowering down on to him inch by inch. You both moaned as you bottomed out on him and you began to move yourself up and down, feeling him repeatedly filling you and hitting that incredible spot inside you. Javi wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer to his chest as you sped up the intensity of your movements. Your clit rubbed against the jeans scrunched around his thighs as he began to lift his hips up into you. 

“You feel so good, baby. Feels so good so deep in me, fuck.” 

Javi watched you, awe struck as you continued to ride him, your boobs bouncing with each thrust, and head thrown back in pleasure as you bit down on your bottom lip. 

“Jesus, you’re perfect, Hermosa. So tight and wet, so fucking sexy. 

There was something about the low rasp of his voice singing your praises that absolutely made you lose your mind. The pace you now found both yourselves moving at was becoming fast and sloppy, so enthralled by each other, you could have cared less about the steering wheel digging into your back. You were filled by his deep, hard strokes, his dick repeatedly filling you and hitting you in a way that made your muscles begin to tense. Your fingers dug into his shoulders as he reached beneath you to rub your clit. The tension spread through your body, your orgasm making you scream in delight. The pulsing of your pussy squeezed around Javi’s cock, practically sending him over the edge with you. 

“Javi, holy fuck. I want you to come, baby. I want you to come inside me. It’s all yours.

Yours. You were all his. Your words sent him over the edge, knowing that he was the only one you wanted to be with. The only one to please you. The only one to make his mark inside of you. Only a few strokes more and Javi hit his high, letting out a low whimper as he felt himself release inside your warm, tight walls. His dick pulsed as his seed spilled into, leaving you two slumped into each other, breathless. A few moments after you both came to, you finally felt the wet spot you had left over Javi’s jeans, a mix of the two of you staining the denim. 

“Fuck, Javi, I’m sorry, I fucking ruined your jeans.” 

“They’re just jeans, Osita. Besides, it was fucking hot.” 

You could see the dark pools of his eyes growing darker with lust as he reached down to the inside of your thigh, dripping with the combination of your release. 

“Will you keep me inside you, baby? Keep you inside me so you know that you’re mine even when I have to leave?” 

“Fuck, yes.” 

Fuck. His request filled you with joy and hurt at the same time. You were his. Fucking his. At the same time, the thought of having come back to reality after the fantasy you had been living in the past 24 hours stung. 

“I don’t want you to have to leave.” Shit, was that too needy? He had just spent the whole day with you. The little voice in the back of your head screamed at you again. Don’t get too ahead of yourself. 

“I don’t want to have to leave either, Osita. I’m not going yet, I’ll hang out as long as I can. Would be a lot easier if we didn’t have to go to work tomorrow.” 

“Okay.” Phew. “I don’t mean to ruin this super sweet and sexy moment, but do you think you can take your dick out of me so my groceries don’t go bad?” 

You both laughed, Javi complying to your request as you shuffled off of his lap into the passenger seat, shimmying your clothes back on. He scooted his jeans back over him, tucking himself back in before doing up his belt buckle. 

The trip back to your apartment was  embarrassingly short, given that you couldn’t have made it approximately 4 more minutes before arriving back. Javi helped you gather your things, making fun of the thought of you trying to carry all your grocery bags up in one trip, you convincing him that you really could do it, if it was a smaller trip. Javi was very impressed with your organization as you put everything away in its exact spot, making unloading the groceries much quicker than expected. After you had finished, you looked back at Javi leaning against the counter. 

“Javi, that stain on your jeans looks like you peed yourself, I feel really bad. Do you want me to wash them for you? I don't want you to have to carry evidence from the scene of the crime back home with you. I have laundry I have to do anyway, it’s no big deal at all.” 

“That would probably be a good idea. Are you trying to get me to stay longer by holding my pants hostage in the wash?” You outstretched your hand. 

“Guilty, your honor. Pants me, Peña.” 

Another reason you had chosen your apartment was the in unit washer and dryer. The pain of having to haul your laundry from your 11th floor Chicago apartment down to a basement that looked like it was straight out of a horror movie was one of your least favorite chores, so having the ability to clean your clothes from the comfort of your room was a plus. 

Javi undid his belt and slid both his pants and underwear down to the floor, leaving his bottom half very blatantly naked. 

“Oh shit, I forgot you didn’t have any other pants.” 

“Also part of your plan?” 

“Surprisingly, no. Oh, I actually think I have a pair of my brother’s shorts that accidentally got packed away with my stuff when I moved!” 

“I don’t mind.” 

“Don’t mind oing full Winnie the Pooh until your pants are clean? Javi, believe me, I am not mad about this.�� you gestured to his crotch. “The problem is, if your dick keeps staring at me like that, I will literally get nothing done the rest of the day, and I have to at least try a LITTLE bit to be productive.” 

“Fair enough.” He waited as you shuffled through your drawers to find an old pair of gray cotton shorts, bringing them out and tossing them to him as you grabbed your hamper, made your way to the laundry room, and filled up your washer with your dirty clothes and Javi’s pants. After you had started up the wash cycle, you made your way back to the kitchen, where Javi was still standing, now covered by the shorts you had given him. 

“God dammit, Javi.” 

“What?” His face surprised as you came back into the kitchen. 

“I think the shorts are making it worse.” 

“What worse?” 

“You might as well be naked, cause I can see… Well let’s just say that there’s very little left to the imagination and I will be using every ounce of willpower to keep myself from crawling all over you. Do you realize how hot you are? It’s truly not fair. Okay, let me just stare at you for one more second and then I can move on.” You crossed your arms as you looked Javi up and down while he chuckled to himself. 

“You good?” He laughed. 

“Good now.” You giggled, taking one more long look. 

“What else do you want to get done tonight?” 

“Well normally on Sunday I do laundry and just get ready for the week, make food, stuff like that. It makes it so much better, one, having you here, even though you’re making the getting things done part more challenging, and two because it’s finally the last week of school and the last time I have to do this again until August.” 

“When’s your last day of school?” 

“Thursday. Only 4 more days, even though it feels like it's going to be 154.” 

“Are you doing anything on Thursday?” 

“Besides collapsing into a pile from the relief that the school year is done, no. Why?” 

“Can I take you out to celebrate your last day of school?” 

You blushed. It shocked you how genuinely thoughtful Javi was. Or maybe, you had grown to accept your significant others not having any interest in you at all. There was one summer where it was the middle of July and Paul had asked you why you hadn’t been going into work, like he had literally forgotten what you did for a living, let alone take you out to celebrate it. 

“Are you asking me on a date, Javi?” You teased, playfully. 

He blushed too. “Yeah, if that’s okay.” 

“Of course it is. That’s really sweet of you. What do you have in mind?” 

“I was thinking about dinner and a movie? Since you seem to enjoy giving me such a hard time about the lack of movies I’m caught up on.” 

“I couldn’t think of a better way to celebrate.” You leaned into him wrapping your arms around his neck and standing on your tiptoes to kiss him. “I really want to see you before, but the end of the school year is absolutely insane, and there’s school events every night this week.” 

“It’s okay, I remember how stressed my mom would be at the end of the year. The last week of school, my mom would tell me and my dad “Por favor. No me hables hasta los niños estan libres.” 

“What does that mean?” 

“Please don’t talk to me until the children are free.” 

“Your mom hit the nail on the head with that one. Well I’m really excited for Thursday, thanks Javi.”

“Me too, Osita.” 

You stared at each other for a moment in silence, taking the other in. Javi’s hand released itself from your waist to brush away hair from your face before cupping the side of your jaw to kiss you. Your heart sped up anytime Javi’s lips met yours, but there was something about this kiss that felt different. It was sweet. Tender. Gentle. The kind of kiss that screamed I’m so lucky you’re mine without saying a word. A kiss you hoped you’d never had to live without. 

“I like you a lot, Javi.” 

“I like you a lot too, Osita.” 

“Sooooo, I have at least another hour and a half of keeping your pants hostage, and we clearly need to get you up to speed on your movie knowledge before Thursday, do you want to pick something out to watch?” 

“Didn’t you say you had things you wanted to get done?” He raised an eyebrow at you. 

“Yeah, well, those can be tomorrow's problems. Go pick out a movie you haven’t seen yet and now that I have real food, I’ll go get some snacks for us while we watch!” 

“Sounds like a great plan.” He kissed the top of your head as you parted ways. You went to the kitchen to microwave a bag of popcorn while Javi spent a long time very intently staring at the VHS collection below your TV. You returned with a big bowl filled to the brim, curious to see what Javi’s pick would end up being. “Alright, I’m excited to see what we get to watch tonight!” You set the bowls down on the table at the end of your couch, unfolding one of the fluffy blankets you had draped over the end. 

“I have a feeling you’re gonna be happy we’re watching it, but not happy about the fact I picked it.” He took the VHS from behind his back and placed it on your lap. 

“NO. JAVI. YOU’VE NEVER SEEN STAR WARS?!” 

“No…” 

“SERIOUSLY?” 

“Technically I did see it once when I was in high school but I don’t remember anything about it because I took a girl on a date to go see it and we just sat in the back of the theater and made out the whole time.” 

“Romantic. Hate to break it to you, that will not be happening tonight if we’re watching this.” You patted the seat next to you on the couch, ushering him to go sit down as you pushed in the tape and pressed play. “I know I said Indiana Jones was my favorite movie but I actually think I lied. It’s 100% Star Wars.” 

Without hesitation, you curled up next to Javi resting your head into his shoulder, his arm wrapping around you and pulling you in closer as the theme music for the opening credits began blaring through your speakers. As the movie started, you could tell Javi was trying his hardest to watch intently, asking the occasional question to make sure he understood what was happening. 

“Why do the tiny people in the robes have no faces and yellow eyes? Are they supposed to be bad guys? They’re not very scary.” 

“They’re Jawwas, Javi. They’re little sand creatures that collect scrap parts and sell them. They’re not really good or bad, they just kind of hang out on Tatooine.” 

“Jesus, you’re a bigger nerd than I thought.” 

“Just shhhh and watch the movie.” You lovingly gave Javi a shove as he snickered. 

As the movie continued, the two of you found yourselves sinking further and further into the couch, Javi now laying flat on his back, head propped against the pillows, and you on top of him, head propped on his chest. One of his arms rested on top of your back, tracing back and forth along your shoulders, the other demolishing handfuls of popcorn from the bowl he had found next to him. Javi definitely didn’t strike you as someone who would be much of a cuddler, but in the short time you had spent with him, you quickly realized this man wanted to be touching you in some way, shape or form at all times. He may have looked tough, but this man was a big ole softie. Right around the point where Luke, Han and Chewie were making their way to break Princess Leia out of her cell, you pushed yourself up off of Javi with a quick kiss. 

“Hey wait, where are you going? It’s getting really good!” He grabbed your hand, almost pleading with his puppy dog eyes for you to stay on the couch with him. 

“I just have to go change the laundry to the dryer really quick, unless you wanna go home in wet denim. Also apparently get more popcorn “Mr. No I’m not that hungry, I don’t want any”. I’ll be right back, promise.” 

You gave him a quick kiss as you got up, threw another bag of popcorn in the microwave and moved your clothes to the dryer. Shaking the hot popcorn bag and refilling your bowl, you climbed back on top of Javi, nestling yourself comfortably against his broad frame. You were relieved that Javi was genuinely into the movie, making comments and remarks after big action scenes, popcorn making a constant path from the bowl to his mouth. He was like a 12 year old boy trapped in a grown man’s body. It made you wonder how many other people had gotten to see this side of Javi before. It was no secret to you that whatever past he carried weighed on him heavily. His mom, Lorraine, Colombia. Even though you didn’t know the whole story, it made you hopeful to think you could be part of a new chapter that brought him a little more joy than he had before. 

As the ending scene credits rolled, you leaned your head up to him. “Soooooo… what’d ya think? Better than a high school make out session in a dark movie theater?” 

“There’s other ones right? Can we watch more of them? Osita, I can see why you like this so much. There’s some stuff in it that’s fuckin’ weird, but I guess it’s space, but it was really good.” 

“Absolutely we can. I do hope you know, the more we watch, the nerdier I will get.” 

As the VHS ended and a silence filled the room, you realized the dryer was finished and had stopped running, and the monotonous tick of the clock behind your TV read 9:17 PM. You couldn’t bring yourself to ask Javi to leave. How could you? But your lack of accomplished to-do’s and the looming screams of 8 and 9 year olds at 7:30 tomorrow morning already had you feeling the impending headache already building behind your eyes. The huff of disappointment you let out of you was much louder than you had hoped, and Javi knew exactly why. 

“I don’t want to go either, Osita. But tomorrow is gonna kick both of our asses if I don’t leave.” 

“Yeah, I know…” your lip let out a pout. 

“Thursday will come fast, I promise. Even if I can’t see you, I’ll call you and we can at least talk on the phone if you’re up for it.” 

“Fine. I will release you and your jeans from my custody. Let me go grab them for you.” 

Hopping off the couch, you threw your clean clothes back into your hamper to be sorted later, pulling out Javi’s jeans and boxers to give back to him. 

Bringing the pair back to the couch, you found Javi leaning against the back of your couch, waiting for you to return. 

“Just so you know, in this apartment, there is a 3 kiss minimum to obtain any clothing items belonging to your bottom half.” You pressed into him, dangling the pants and underwear in your outstretched arm. 

“What happens if I give you more than 3?” 

“You can use them as a down payment towards your next set of pants you need to get back from me.” 

“God, you’re such a dork.” 

“Kiss me or lose the pants, Peña. Choice is yours.” 

You shrieked and dropped the jeans as Javi suddenly wrapped his arms underneath you and lifted you up, wrapping your legs around his waist. 

“One…” He leaned in to peck your lips in between your giggles. 

“Two…” Another kiss landed on your mouth, a little longer than the last. 

“Three.” A final slow and sweet set of lips grazed across yours, his mustache tickling you as he pulled away and set you gently back on your feet. 

“Now that wasn’t so hard, was it?” 

Javi laughed as he reached down for his clothes, shuffling the gray shorts down his legs, and exchanging them for his boxers and jeans. “Could be worse.” As he finished running his belt through the jean’s loopholes, you went to your fridge to rip a fresh piece of paper from your grocery list, and began scribbling. 

“For you.” You reached out your arm, handing Javi a note with your phone number and a smiley face and a cute doodle of a bear. 

“Thanks, Osita.” You found yourself both begrudgingly making your way to the front door, as Javi slipped on his shoes and grabbed his keys, finally admitting defeat that the weekend had to come to an end. 

“Will you call me when you get home so I know you made it back safe?” 

“Of course.” He reached down to cup your face, your lips meeting one last time, savoring every sweet second before he pulled away to run a hand through your hair and kiss the top of your head. “I’ll pick you up on Thursday, okay?” 

“Okay.” 

He reached down for the doorknob, slowly twisting it and opening the door, revealing the empty hallway he was about to walk down. “I’ll see you soon, Osita.” 

“Not soon enough. See you on Thursday, Javi.” 

He gave your outstretched hand one more squeeze before finally letting go, the door quietly clicking as it shut behind him. 

In that moment, there was one thing you knew for certain. You had it bad for Javier Peña.

Finally coming down from your lovestruck high, you looked around your apartment to realize you had done very few things on your list to get ready for tomorrow. Mentally prioritizing, you cleaned up your living room, laid out your clothes, and changed your sheets, making a note that if you were going to keep seeing Javi like this, there needed to be more in the rotation. Once you finished, you brought your laundry out to the living room, turning on the TV and folding, waiting for Javi to call. 

Little did you know, Javi spent the entire rest of his ride home imagining you by his side, as listened to the rest of the Grease soundtrack. 

As he pulled into the ranch and made his way into the house, he had never been more relieved to find his dad passed out in his armchair with the TV blasting, thankful to avoid questionings about his whereabouts- at least for now. 

Quietly making his way to his room and closing the door, he took the cell phone out of his back pocket, along with your note, and pressed his fingers into each number. 

You barely let one ring go by before dropping the laundry that was in your hands and springing towards the phone. 

“Hi, Javi.” 

“How’d you know it was me?” 

“Not many people are calling me at 9:45 at night just to chat. You make it home okay?” 

“Yeah, I did. I’ll let you get to bed, but I just wanted to let you know I had a lot of fun this weekend. I’m uh, I’m really glad that you like spending time with me.” 

“I am too, Javi. I haven’t had this much fun in a really long time.”

“I’ll call you later this week and we can talk details for Thursday?” 

“Sounds like a plan to me.” 

“Okay. Duerme bien y dolces sueños, Osita.” 

Something about his voice in Spanish practically melted your heart. “Something about good and sweet?” You tried to translate. 

“Sleep well and sweet dreams.” 

“Well in that case, duerme bien y dolces sueños a ti tambien, Javi.” 

“Bye, Osita.” 

“Bye.” 

After hearing the click on the end of your line, you hung your phone back on the receiver, putting your hands in your face and letting out a little scream to yourself.  Yeah, you had it REAL bad for Javier Peña.

[g4yforethan]

angel

pairing: ken x male!reader

summary: reader runs into ken who is immediately in love

warnings: kissing ig

a/n: this was rushed so my apologizes but i loved the new barbie movie sm so more ken content is on the way!

it was a regular day for you. well it was your day off so you had decided to spend the day at the beach. you grabbed your skateboard and a blanket and headed over to venice beach. while walking down the street, you noticed a man who seemed to be in 80s disco apparel and roller skating. you thought nothing of it as you have seen way worse in venice beach. he was alone and noticed you walking. “hey. hi there!” he yells at you and smiles. you smile back but give him a signal you are uninterested to talk. “hey man! i’m new here so do you think you could give me a few tips on how to survive here?” you laugh at his dramatic but quirky personality. “haha where are you from even?” “i’m from barbieland.” you look at him with confusion. “um…i’m sorry- wait did you just say…” “barbieland?” “yes. are you for real or are you just joking with me?” you didn’t know if he was okay mentally or had just smoken some weed but he did look like a real life ken. a very handsome ken. “yes i’m here because i wanted to give a shot at the real world” “well trust me the real world isn’t all rainbows and sunshine.”

“then i’m here to fix that! but first i’m feeling rather hungry. what do you usually eat?” “mhm i mean there’s a mcdoanlds up the road. we can check that out.” “yes let’s.” you notice him eyeing you the walk to the restaurant. like he couldn’t take his eyes off of you and always felt like he wanted to say something to you but something in him told him not to say it. you two got to the mcdonald’s and ordered two cheeseburgers and fries. “so got a girlfriend or anything?” “aww why are you asking? you tryna take me out on date?” “well yes! i mean this is sorta like a date.” “i thought ken only went for barbie. not ken going for another ken.” “i mean in barbieland we’re pretty open to anything and right now i’m pretty open to the idea of the two of us going out.” you blushed and didn’t think ken would be so flirty with you. “haha this has been fun “ken” but i should probably get home. have fun in the real world.” “wait- i don’t know where to stay tonight. do you think i could spend the night with you?” you didn’t know whether to say yes or no but you gave in.

that night, you laid out several blankets and pillows on the couch for ken. “there you go. well goodnight ken.” “goodnight whatever your name is.” you laughed realized you never told ken your name. “i’m y/n ken. that’s my name.” “oh well goodnight y/n!” you smile at him and head back to your bedroom. you start to fall asleep until you hear a knock at your door. you open the door and it's ken. "oh hi ken! what is it?" "i'm sorry to bother you y/n but i can't quite fall asleep so i was thinking that maybe i could-well i- if i could sleep with you?" you're taken back by his request but saw his face which looked like he was begging for affection. "uhh yeah sure come on in" you made space for him in your bed and he faced your way, eyes locked on you. "why are you staring at me like that?" "i just think you're really handsome y/n. i guess you can say it’s love at first sight.” you cringe at his flirting but found it really cute. “aww well thank you so much ken. you’re a cute one too.” he laughs and blushes at your compliment. “can i give you a kiss?” you’re taken back by his question. “oh um i mean- yea sure.” he leans in for a kiss and kisses you on the lips. “wow you’re a really great kisser! you kiss better than barbie!” you laugh at his comment. you kiss again for a while, touching his biceps and shoulders. "so does that make us boyfriend and boyfriend?" ken asks you with a smile on his face. "maybe but we'll have to see." he gives a disappointed face but you smile and put his hand around your waist and his face on your neck. "goodnight ken." "goodnight y/n. i love you!" "love you too!"

[xxsycamore]

2024 WRITING SUMMARY!

Thank you for your love and support! I had an amazing writing year once again, and it wouldn't have been the same without you! ❤

First of all, here's the year in banners collage! Check last year's one here. I really like looking at all of them put together! 🥺

Total Word Count: 106,847

total works: 111

of which drabbles/headcanons: 80 (72%) of which requested: 77 (69%) of which nsft: 31 (28%) of which featuring Napoleon: 19 (17%) of which ikevamp: 30 (27%) of which ikepri: 27 (24%) of which ikevil: 18 (16%)

total characters written: 62

of which first-time: 13

new fandoms: 0

challenges hosted: 3

extra (nsft under the cut):

places where characters had sex: bed, bed, bed, beach chair, bathtub, floor, kitchen of an abandoned base of a criminal group, beach, car, icecream booth, porn set, toilet stall, bedroom chair, bed, opera house, bed, bed, bed, laboratory, bed, bed, secluded corner at a party, garden, balcony, secluded corner at a party, throne, in the air, hedge maze, floor, secluded corner at a party, bathtub, balcony, desk

And finally...

One sentence (or more) from each work (sans ficlets/headcanons) of 2024! (be warned: some of those are from NSFW fics!)

I decided to leave out the titles, but don’t hesitate to ask if any caught your attention and you want to check out the whole thing! <3

Still pouting because he's unfairly knightly as if he wasn't being a big tease just a second ago, you sink deeper into the soft embrace of the duvet, losing the inner fight too soon and letting yourself be pampered.

Scien makes a small sound of approval, a quiet purr almost, the barely visible bulge of his tongue moving from one side of his mouth to the other all but telling of how he savors the piece of chocolate.

"What are you sounding so scared for?? Are you planning to turn down my proposal? Napoleon? Napoleon???"

"I'm joking, sorry. The others said I should joke more often... something about being able to keep a straight face."

"Pancakes again? I'm starting to get tired of this. You got something else for me, Sebastian?"

"Isn't it obvious? I'm your little bunny in heat. I'm beginning you to finally, finally take me."

"In case what? In case you take it a little too far in role-playing? In case you go down on me and the words mon empereur leave your lips?"

"Maybe I just ate something funny at lunch? You know how it is with Sebas and his fusion cuisine, always trying to live up to everyone's taste, haha…"

It's another beautiful day of your life in 19th century Paris, in the neat little mansion up the hill that you call home, just you and your lover and your 8 housemates who are reincarnated vampires and your sugar daddy landlord whose wealth you all live off of.

"I think you're okay, Nunuche. You can be dressed in more skimpy things around me, you know? Or you can discard them altogether if that's more comfortable for you. It's not like I haven't- Ouch!"

Your plea falls on deaf ears for the duration of the task, but the Jin Grandet you know won't just ignore an undressing request like that.

Your new tactic is silence, and it never works on him, but you're prone to making the same mistakes again and again and he likes that about you.

A show like that is best watched with a glass in hand, as much as he hates sounding like a certain information broker with a penchant for hedonism. 

At least it's not doves taking flight or anything else alive, but that doesn't make the contents of his inner pockets less bewildering as he takes the items out on the counter one by one.

After spending a good time admiring the tan line left by a thin strap and how it sealed their memory, seriously rivaling his awfully temporary in comparison lovemarks, he is no longer holding a grudge against non-nudity.

He places his hands on the steering wheel to get a better feeling of it, marine blue eyes sparkling with the wonder of a child receiving a shiny new toy on Christmas morning.

The sounds of the crowd outside are a backdrop to Ellis' soft whispers, a sharp contrast between the intimacy and the reminder of where you are. 

The last thought lingering in your mind before you orgasm is that there simply can't be any co-star of his that has ever had to fake this.

Your gaze moves from Liam's pretty lips curling in a small laughter as he conversates with Harrison, to Harrison stretching out while he listens; to Elbert's tall frame as he looks out the window next to them, to Alfons staring at him, putting one leg over the other as he stirs the steamy liquid in his cup.

Without your favorite attic slash club room, you have to make do with your…what, super comfy bed covered with many pillows and the plushies he bought you? Seems like a bargain.

No, you should be thankful for having been given this chance at all - to Elbert for agreeing, and mostly to Alfons, who put the wicked plan together.

It's like diving into the unknown; both for you and for him, almost in a manner that is special to you, to have another first together, to share the feeling of this discovery. 

"I swear, this has nothing to do with you, Harry. I too like to drink strawberry milk sometimes, okay? It's as simple as that! I wanted to drink some so I got myself some. It was my strawberry milk. It wasn't strawberry milk I left for you because I'm too shy to tell you I got you a gift! Jeez!"

The weapon entrusted to you - now that you recognize the pillow as such - has to act as a shield first, as you barely react fast enough to block an upcoming attack from your eccentric boyfriend.

A sense of belonging overcomes you, strongly, as if you can make Napoleon melt into your chest if you hold him like that just a little longer.

It's even more obscene when Roger smooths down your dress, letting it conceal the sight, before giving your ass a little pat.

Yet there it is, standing in your peripheral vision; the wooden cradle he presented you with tonight, just a couple of days after you first mentioned the peculiar piece of furniture.

"Their feet will be… about thiiis small," you lift your hand in the air just enough for Luke to see the measurement you draw using your thumb and index finger.

But knowing Victor and his penchant for dramatizing things, it's no wonder why you're readily brushing it off as nothing now, as you make your way into the dimly-lit ballroom.

More than for his country, it's dulcet et decorum to live for MC - in the same way that more than the bunch of rowdy residents downstairs', it's important to ensure MC's good time. So here he is.

[mscostac]

There you are...

You can call me Costa! (she/her/Ravenclaw)

I write. I daydream. I yearn for love stories and happy endings. This is how I ended up here.

This is the growing library of my stories—completed works, WIPs, longfics and one shots. I write SFW and NSFW (MDNI).

All stories are part of the same universe featuring the same characters. These are the pairings I love so much it hurts:

❥ Sebastian Sallow / Carolyn Morgan (FMC, Gryffindor Player Character)

❥ Ominis Gaunt / Phineas Black (MMC, Slytherpuff, canon-ish but mostly an OC)

All my works are published on AO3 and Wattpad, and you can also find me on Discord (mostly active on the OHL server) and Tiktok!

Below is the masterlist of stories & art commissions.

All sorts of interactions are appreciated ♡ I'm a pathological comment replier

Chronological Fic Order guide:

Main Fanfiction Works:

Take Me To The Lakes

COMPLETE | 35k words | Ominis Gaunt / Phineas Black | Mature

Childhood Friends to Enemies to Lovers; Forced Proximity; Grumpy Sunshine; post-game events. All-time readers' favourite and I recommend you start here ♡

Full story + summary & tags on AO3 | Wattpad

Epilogue one-shot on AO3 | Wattpad

I know he's rolled on his side because though his voice is low, I can hear it closely, right in front of me. Too close. He says, "Don't you want to put a face to the person you hate so much? So you can have a clear picture of me while you think about all the loathing?" As if I need to know what he looks like when I already think about him all the time. "Putting a face to it would only make it harder." "Make what harder?" He chuckles faintly at his own joke, but I can hear right through him. The hesitant, insecure, and vulnerable boy I once knew is still there. "Harder to hate you." Grasping my wrists, he traps my hands between his face and his palms. "Let's make it worse, then."

Timeless

Ongoing (~80%) | ~150k words | Sebastian Sallow / Carolyn Morgan | Explicit

real Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, arranged marriage, Amortentia, plot twists, all the 'firsts', dual POV

Full story + summary & tags on AO3 | Wattpad | TRAILER (VIDEO)

I heard Natty entering the dormitory, and the sound of her steps grew louder as she got closer to me. "The moon is beautiful tonight..." I breathed out. She leaned by the window, attempting to make eye contact. "I know dreamy eyes when I see them, Carolyn," Natty mocked. I blushed. "Do you think he knows, Natty? How I feel about him?" I grabbed a pillow and held it close to my chest. "Well... I surely hope he does. The endless letters during summer. The excessive amount of time you spend together. That canvas right there he gifted you. Honestly, I am surprised you two are not dating yet." "The canvas?" I glanced at the Iceland painting and wrinkled my nose. "Oh no... I am definitely not talking about Sebastian Sallow." She tilted her head to the side, lifting one eyebrow. "What? Who are you talking about, then?" "Natty..." I breathed out heavily. "I... I fell for him." I gazed at the moon again. "I am in love with Ominis Gaunt."

One-Shots Collection:

❥ Anne’s Every Flavour Biscuits

3.2k words | SFW | AO3 | Wattpad

Aroace!Anne, Coming Out story, Ominis Gaunt gives a hug

Anne Sallow has always felt different. What was supposed to be just a cosy evening baking shortbreads with a new special potion becomes the first time she feels seen (not literally, though, when it comes to her best friend, Ominis Gaunt).

❥ But Daddy I Love Him (You Should Have Seen Your Faces)

3.5k words | Ominis Gaunt/Phineas Black | NSFW | AO3 | Wattpad

Exhibitionism, P in M and A (say gex), Daddy Issues

Headmaster Black is dead, but it's not too late for his son, Phineas Black, to come out of the closet and make him proud with the help of Ominis Gaunt.

❥ Save a Candle, Blow a Wizard

3.2k words | Sebastian Sallow/Carolyn Morgan | NSFW | AO3 | Wattpad

Birthday boy!Sebastian, Deepthro@ting, nsfw art here

Sebastian's birthday was a day full of activities that his girlfriend Carolyn planned for him. She knew how to make him happy and indulged him with a birthday present of his choice.

❥ Sebastian Sallow Is Not Scared of Snakes

2.8k words | Sebastian Sallow/Carolyn Morgan/"Boggaunt" | NSFW | AO3 | Wattpad

cuckhold, voyeurism, inappropriate use of non-beings (?), crackfic, readers' favourite lol

There is an intruder at the Sallow’s Manor. Sebastian experiences a twisted new type of rage as his biggest fears are put to the test. Is he jealous of the unexpected visitor, though? Or, Sebastian watches a boggart shapeshifted as Ominis f*ck his wife. And he enjoys it.

❥ Two Sebastians Are Better Than One

3.4k words | Sebastian Sallow/Carolyn Morgan/Sebastian Sallow | NSFW | AO3 | Wattpad

threesom&/DP, inappropriate use of a time-turner, selfcest (?)

How Sebastian Stole Christmas, using Santa Claus’ time-turner to have a holly jolly threesome with his wife and... himself.

❥ Cedarwood Lakeshore

5k words | Ominis Gaunt/Phineas Black | Mature | AO3 | Wattpad

established relationship, fluff, surprise marriage proposal, Christmas and NYE, they live in NYC

13 years later, Ominis Gaunt and Phineas Black found their happy ending in NYC. Ominis has one last surprise for Phineas, and Phineas has one last surprise for Ominis.

Art Commissions:

Sebastian Sallow/Carolyn Morgan:

Swimming at Clagmar Coast, by puridew

First Date at the Owlery, by myokk

Their spot at the Transfiguration Courtyard, by giselesann

Almost Kiss during Christmas, by giselesann

Yule Ball, by giselesann

Night at the Library, by vienguinn

Black Dress and Suit, by giselesann

The Notebook kiss, by ketto-art

The First Time, by yoshitsuno

Touch Down (NSFW), by rednite-dork

Morning Daylight (Mature), by kylominis

Save a Candle, Blow a Wizard (NSFW), by meizze-art

Ominis Gaunt/Phineas Black:

Cosy reading, by giselesann

Smoking Hot, by giselesann

Do You Want To Know What I Look Like? by giselesann

Sharing a Bed (Phineas was, in fact, staring), by giselesann

Saturn promise, by giselesann

Rain Kiss, by giselesann

Idyllic summer, by pheexblack

Other:

Carolyn & Ominis are judging you, by kylominis

Yule Ball princesses, by silvyadrakkon

Sebastian & Anne shenannigans, by silvyadrakkon

Sebastian, Anne and Ominis bebes, by sylviadrakkon

Sebastian for Corinthians x Ominis for Palmeiras, by giselesann

header group art: commission by @adelikashere

Lakes and Timeless cover arts: @vienguinn

dividers: @saradika

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

Hello Cal!! 💕💕💕💕

Maximum for 🧜‍♂️ please!

I am LOVING this fic!

-❤️🪐

Hi Saturn! ❤️THANK YOU!!!!

1k for 🧜‍♂️:

---

 Like he needs the support right now. Eddie wants to give it to him. Carefully, he wraps an arm around Buck’s shoulders. Buck tips his head onto Eddie’s collar bone. 

“Thanks,” Buck mumbles. “For all of it.”

“You don’t have to thank me,” Eddie says. “We have each other’s backs, right?”

Buck inhales sharply. “We do.”

🌊

The next few times Buck shifts in the water, it hurts. Not as badly. Not as intensely. Like his tail is growing more and more used to the pain. Still, he avoids it more than he would like. More than he should. More than his body needs. But the pain concerns him. Makes him think of the accident. So he avoids it, going to the ocean only when he becomes desperate. 

Instead, he focuses on getting back to work. He attends mandatory physical therapy appointments. The practitioner is also baffled at Buck’s speedy recovery process. 

“I’ve never seen anything like this for the injury and surgery you had,” she says. 

“Guess I’m just lucky,” Buck shrugs it off.

He is. He is lucky. He knows that. Just, sometimes he feels like a freak and not even a freak that gets to properly enjoy the water anymore. 

But it’s not all bad. He gets back to work in late June. A Fire Department legend, apparently. As long as that’s the only thing they think is legendary about him, he’s fine with it. Bobby is watching him like a hawk. Like he’s waiting for him to crumble to pieces. He doesn’t know why Buck is okay. That’s his own near death is why Buck is unharmed right now. A very strange thing to be grateful for. 

Plus, on top of work, he still has Eddie. Eddie, who he spends more time with nowadays than anyone. Eddie, who is without a doubt the best friend he’s ever had. Eddie, who is the only person who knows the weight of the secret on his shoulders. Eddie, who Buck has started to look at differently lately. 

It’s sort of strange, because Eddie is always making Buck feel things he didn’t really think were possible. For example, before he’d met Eddie - and for a good amount of time after he met Eddie - Buck would have confidently called himself straight. Comfortable in the fact that he’d been attracted to all the women he’s been with. Content with that identity. Not looking to explore. 

Except, if that were entirely true, things would be a bit different for Buck, wouldn’t they? He wouldn’t think about things like how Eddie’s eyes are so beautiful. His smile wouldn’t make Buck feel warm. Buck wouldn’t have wished, that day on the beach when Eddie held him, for Eddie to have touched more of him. He wouldn’t want to be around him all the time. He wouldn’t wonder about what kissing him would be like, when he is. 

Maybe Buck should do something about that. But he’s too damn chicken. 

🌻

It starts as a joke. 

Eddie swears. Just a joke. 

Buck is over one weekend day. Christopher is at a classmate’s birthday. Buck is sort of down. He tried shifting again recently and the pain was still there. They decided to take it easy. Movie, beers, chips.

“We should watch Splash. Study your culture,” Eddie had teased him.

“I don’t know what that is,” Buck says. “Is it set in Pennsylvania or something.”

“Oh my god, Buck,” Eddie had sighed. “We’re fixing this.”

Buck shrugs. “If you say so.”

“I do!” Eddie insists. “There’s a mermaid.”

“Oh?” Buck raises an eyebrow. “Is it a cartoon?”

“Just watch, Buck.”

And they do. Buck is delighted by it. The humor. The ‘unrealistic’ mermaid plot. Though, what does he know, really? He’s only met himself. 

There’s a strange moment, midway through the movie, where Tom Hanks’ character is dressed in 80s-style gym shorts. The type that are pretty short cut, reveal a lot of thigh. Buck shifts a little. He sort of looks at Eddie out of the corner of his eye, and then looks back at the screen.

“They’re both kind of hot, huh? Like, both leads?” Buck asks awkwardly. 

“Daryl Hannah and Tom Hanks?” Eddie asks.

Buck nods. 

Wait a minute. What is going on here? Buck is into Tom Hanks? A young Tom Hanks. Okay, yeah. Eddie can see the appeal. He certainly did as a kid watching this. But Buck? Buck isn’t… Is he? He called himself an ally. 

“Can’t say either of them do anything for me personally,” he replies, trying to keep it casual. “But I see the appeal.”

“Right, yeah, well…” Buck stammers. “Right.”

“Good job on the complete sentence, there,” Eddie teases. 

“Shut up,” Buck nudges him. 

They’re sitting a bit closer on the couch than they were when the movie started. 

Then it sort of takes another turn. See, it’s been years since Eddie has seen the movie. Well over a decade. Sophia used to watch it all the time, but Eddie started spending less and less time with his little sisters when life got… Well, complicated. Anyway, the point is, Eddie doesn’t remember it beat for beat. He doesn’t remember the scene where Madison is sprayed down with water leaving a party, by someone determined to out her, and shifts immediately, being photographed and mobbed and eventually taken by government scientists. 

Eddie can’t miss the way Buck tenses. Goes a little white. Honestly? Eddie feels it too. He’s not a merman, obviously. But the thought of being outed like that makes him queasy. And scared. Very scared. 

“I’m sorry,” he tells Buck. “I forgot about this scene. I… I can turn it off.”

“No,” Buck says. “It’s okay. I want to see how it ends.”

“I’m sorry,” Eddie mumbles again. 

“Don’t be, Eddie. It’s a movie.”

“But you know… You know I’d never let that happen to you, right? I’d… I’ll always protect your secret. I’d never-”

“You’re not always with me,” Buck says lowly. “And I have more control over it than her.”

[tommi3boy]

“I think you’re breathtaking to look at“| {SDV Harvey x GN! reader}

Word count: 1.5k

Warnings: none

Pairing: Harvey x gn! Farmer

A/N: no name used, established relationship but not dating, slow burn confession

Summary: Harvey sees how sunburnt you’ve gotten and asks that you take a few days off from being in the sun. While you spend the day indoors, Harvey visits you and y’all do some Zumba together.

Like clockwork, you could find a handsome doctor at Gunther’s library every Saturday. This is the day of the week when you would normally come by and donate some of the relics you found to the libraries museum. Seeing Harvey outside the clinic was somehow refreshing, so you found yourself (un)intentionally picking up on his schedule. This Saturday was no different; Harvey was standing in the nonfiction section of the library, flipping through a hardcover book. He’s normally more relaxed and approachable at this time, so you went to greet him. “What’s a handsome fella like yourself doing with their face in a book?” The question slightly startled Harvey, his shoulders relaxed when he realized it was just you. “Hello to you too farmer” a soft smile suited Harvey’s face after realizing you called him handsome. However, that expression of his slowly dissipated once he studied your appearance more closely. “Your burnt to a crisp farmer! The summer UV’s are no joke, have you not been using proper sun protection?”

This interaction didn’t go how you planned, Harvey ended up lecturing you about the importance of sunscreen and said to take a few days break away from direct sunlight.

-

Because you respect Harvey’s judgement, you’re now lathered in aloe vera, spending the day in your cabin. There was still daily upkeep needed on the farm, so you got up before the sunrise; your poor chickens didn’t enjoy their beauty sleep being interrupted.

You were so used to running around all day with stuff lined up to do, that a break from it took you off guard. The feeling of being on edge, needing a way to stimulate that same routine of yours. This led to you rummaging through your grandpas few belonging left in the cabin; you ended up finding an old phone book with numbers of the townsfolk. Most of the numbers were outdated; many of the names you didn’t recognize. But Evelyn and George’s home phone number was scribbled out, as well as the Mayors. Unless the landlines in the townsfolk’s homes were disconnected, you bet you could eventually contact someone in the valley by going down the list on the old phone book.

-

Ring . Ring . Ring

“Hello? This is Pelican Town’s clinic, how may I help you?”

“Harvey! wow this thing really works, you’re one of the only people in town that still has their landline connected.”

“Farmer? Why are you calling the clinic, are you alright?”

“I’ve been screwed around with this phone all morning, I thought maybe it didn’t work because I wasn’t getting through to anyone but then I managed to get you on the line.”

“Sounds like an eventful morning, I’ve kept the line connected for my older clients, it tends to be easier for them to contact me with it.”

You felt like you were in an old 80s rom-com listening to Harvey speak on the phone. You imagined him leaned back in that old office chair behind the clinics counter. Was he excited to hear from you? He doesn’t sound very busy but that doesn’t mean he wants to sit and chat’ you thought to yourself.

“Alright, well I was just seeing if the phone worked, I’ll let you get back to work doctor.”

“O-, there’s not much work to be done actually, might close a little early today. How’s your sunburn? I have a good cream for burns if you need any.”

“It’s fine, I’m sure in a few days it’ll start to peel and I’ll get a fresh new layer of skin. I could use like, melatonin or something though; this lack of activity is making me all jittery.”

“Hm, well I wouldn’t recommend melatonin unless you exhibited sleep issues. Let’s see,, I normally get off in about 2 hours, but if you’d like I can do an at home visit and help you relieve some of that energy?”

Get your mind out of the gutter. This is a nice man trying to help you out, a very attractive one at that. If it wasn’t Harvey saying it you’d think that sort of offer was flirting. All your flirtatious efforts in the past directed at Harvey seem to go in one ear and out the other; he just doesn’t seem interested in that way.

“sure I wouldn’t mind that at all.”

“Alright then, let me close up the clinic and I’ll be over shortly.”

Your skin feels sort of tingly now, maybe it’s just from the sunburn.

-

Harvey arrived at your doorstep roughly 30 minutes later. He had changed from his work clothes into a more casual t-shirt and sweats and was carrying a small tote bag. You noticed he was flushed in the face after walking all the way to your farm. When you invited him in, he pulled out an iPod and a small speaker from his bag and said, “l thought you might be interested in doing a bit of Zumba with me.” ‘So that’s what he meant when he said he could help.’ It’s endearing how a few months ago he was practically begging you not to tell anyone he attends Caroline’s aerobics class and is now asking you to do Zumba with him.

-

Once he set up the speaker, he shortly briefed you on doing either 1. You can copy him, or 2. Just make up your own groove. He then got an 80’s dance playlist on shuffle. Donna Summer’s ‘I Feel Love’ started playing, the small speaker was surprisingly loud. Harvey seemed to really be in the zone while he was trying to find his rhythm. Mostly light foot work at first, like he was warming his way up the body, then some shoulder shimmies; soon he seemed to be fully immersed in the upbeat music. It was honestly adorable that he felt comfortable enough to do this with you. You wanted to make sure that Harvey wasn’t the only dork in the room, so you quickly found your rhythm and started doing your own little thing. Out of all the people in town, you’d only let Harvey see this is side of you; by no means were you a good dancer. You didn’t feel judged in the slightest letting off some steam with him.

After 3 songs played and a lot of goofing off, you felt surprisingly winded, you hadn’t realize Zumba was this much of a workout. Once the 3rd song finished, you took a break and sat on the floor. Harvey quickly joined you trying to catch his own breath.

“God I didn’t know zumba was such a workout, that wiped me out quick”

You and Harvey laughed at the state both of you were in.

“It’s definitely more taxing than it looks, I could barely get through one song when I was starting out”

Harvey told you he had started going to Caroline’s classes roughly the same time you moved in to the valley.

“Were you trying to get in shape since a hot new face had moved in?” You were joking but the comment had Harvey turning his head away from you. You saw his ear turn red. The moment of silence was awkward since Harvey didn’t laugh at your flirtatious joke like he normally would.

“In all honesty, I think that might be true. When you moved in I felt more motivated to do things that would better myself. Looking back at it I wanted to catch your attention but I was never very up front about that kind of thing. I made it seem like I was solely doing it for health reasons.”

This response came as a shock to you, Harvey never really opened up to you like this. Internally cursing yourself for joking like that, you wanted the joke to be true but now that it is you’re at a loss for words. Harvey was patiently waiting for a response.

“If anyone else in this town had brought an iPod to my cabin and asked me to do Zumba with them, I’d say HELL no. You’re the only person in town I’d do this with.”

“, I’m glad to hear that farmer”

“You should try and be more up front with me about these kinds of things, I mean, I call you The Handsome Doctor like every other day”

“I can never tell if that’s a joke or not, if anything, your the one who should try and be more up front”

“I feel like calling you attractive is pretty up front”

“Alright well, I think you’re breathtaking to look at, even when you’re extremely sunburnt, so much so that I often have to not look at you or I lose my train of thought.”

You don’t know if you can handle up front Harvey. What are you supposed to say to that confession.

“You better watch out cuz you’re going to end up seeing this face a lot more now that you’ve said that” Your response sounded more like threatening than you wanted it to, why couldn’t you have said something sweet’ you thought.

“I’d love to see you more often farmer, I’m glad I got that off my chest.”

-

Harvey packed up his iPod and speaker shortly after that eventful conversation. The Zumba did in fact help your nerves, or maybe it was Harvey’s presence that put you at ease. You thanked Harvey for helping you, and he said “Let me know if you ever need a dance partner again, oh and here-”

Harvey handed you a bottle of sunscreen.

[yellowocaballero]

I admire your commitment to writing tim drake as having spent his formative childhood years on a different awful forum in every universe. it fills a conspicuous void in the fandom ecosystem.

I want to put this ask on my wall. Thank you for understanding me. Thank you so much.

Look, I think there are reasons why characters act the way they do. So often when writing Batfam people put in 0 work into actually establishing why or how a character is Like That, which feels necessary when the character is the most Like That of all time. You end up with a father-son or brotherly soulmates situations and it's bizarre. Why are you adopting this child you saved, you save fifty children a day and there is nothing special about him.

Tim Drake is a fucking freak and there needs to be a reason for that. Child neglect isn't enough. Somebody like Tim needs a very specific thing to happen in their lives to get them to the point of making his decisions. He needs to be obsessive, to spend time in a place that feeds and validates his obsessions, to be in a place where he can easily collect a great deal of data to construct a pathway model, and for all of this to happen without leaving his room. It has to be the internet. Tim is a guy who the internet churns out. I know he's from the 80s but Tim as a person is somebody who is so chronically online in the weirdest way. Not chronically online how WE'RE chronically online. He's on the weird forums. Like those military simulator game forums where military personnel post classified blueprints for future military tanks in order to win an argument. Those kinds.

If you were a domestic terrorist in the early 00s you were probably on Something Awful. All I can say (Actually, technically the SA thing is an anachronism - it didn't actually pick up until the early 00s. But it was the website that worked the best, explained the most, and I fucking needed to make the 'But he wouldn't tell her what the awful thing was' joke, so here we are). This is also the reason for the other anachronism of NW. Homestuck.

[lazydaisyhuntlow]

TOH Meta: Hexside analysis (size, schedule, clubs, staff roster)

We spend a lot of time at Hexside School of Magic and Demonics throughout the course of the series, but some things are never really explained. For my own reference, I'm compiling as much canon information here as I can about Hexside and the people who work there (plus a couple headcanons).

1. How many students attend Hexside?

In the show, most track-specific class sizes range from 3-4 students. For example, this Abominations 101 class from season one has 4 students, with seating space for 12 max.

However, I have reason to believe that this is not all the Abominations students! There are probably other classes for advanced students that meet later in the day (more on that in the Scheduling section below).

Let's say there's a (generous) average of 8-12 students per track. Multiply that by 9 tracks and we get 72-108 students, plus 8 in the baby class, for a total of about 80-116 students total.

The all-school assembly in Labyrinth Runners seems about that size.

Yep, around 100 students. Hexside is quite small! I wonder if St. Epiderm and Glandus are similarly sized?

2. What is the schedule like?

Upon Luz' arrival, Bump gives her a schedule for the day with 6 different potions classes. I know this is meant to be a joke but I'm accepting that Hexside has a 6-block schedule where classes gradually increase in difficulty (hopefully with a lunch break somewhere!!) and that electives (club meetings, free periods, or any non-track-specific class like history/math/PE) are less frequent.

Gus mentions 'moving up a few grades', but since it's essentially a tiny K-12 school and the options at Luz' entrance exam are A) the baby class or B) the not-baby class... I think it's more likely the students are separated by level/ability, not strictly by age, and that Gus was moved up to the illusions track a few years earlier than expected. Or maybe there's a middle-school equivalent between the baby class and the track system?

My headcanon is that the morning (periods 1-3) is for the beginner-level track classes. During this time, older students go to their electives like PE, history, math, language, or maybe even apprenticeships. In the afternoon (periods 4-6), they switch: track professors do advanced classes with the older students, while the younger ones go to their electives. Basing this on S1E9, where the older illusion students are taking some kind of practical exam in the Illusions Homeroom, but Gus is scheduled to be in a different, non-illusions class for that block (which he ditches to go to the Human Appreciation Society meeting).

But even if this is not the case, with such small classes, it would be easy to differentiate to multiple levels and give each student lots of one-on-one attention.

3. What clubs are there?

From the club fair in Any Sport in a Storm, we know that Hexside has a lot of student clubs, including:

Grudgby, Flyer Derby, The Good Witch Azura book club, Swimming, Hexas Hold'em, Screech and Debate, Fear Book, Drama, Gardening, Arts & Witchcrafts, Grom Decorating Committee, Skullpting, Casket Weaving, Brews n' Stews, Inner Demons, Scrying Committee, and Psychics.

There is a school newspaper called the Hexside Free Press.

Gus is the president of the Human Appreciation Society (not to be confused with the roleplaying Human Fantasy Club down the hall).

4. Who are the teachers?

Principal Hieronymus Bump

Attended Hexside as an abominations student (and played flyer derby!), joined the abominations coven, and came back to work as the abominations teacher while Eda and Lilith were students. He was promoted to Principal sometime after that. Firm, fair, open-minded, will defend his students from threats. Retires during the timeskip. As principal, he has the power to approve track switching and multi-track study, though he seems at least somewhat beholden to the whims of the Parent Creature Association (PCA) and has to play nice with the Emperor's Coven to get enough funding for the school.

Professor Hermonculus - Abominations Track

Critical, strict, petty. Punishes his students with extra homework and pits them against one another with that dumb "TOP STUDENT" badge. Holds a grudge against Willow for changing to the plant track and even sends Amity to the principal's office for misbehavior. Very passionate about flyer derby.

Unnamed purple triclops demon - Illusions Track. My headcanon name: Professor Houdine

Stylish, caring, protective of her students -- in Labyrinth Runners her priority was to get Gus away from the Coven Scouts, and she was willing to trade Hunter back to Belos to accomplish that goal (though she probably didn't know or care what would happen to him). Seems to do a lot of assessments; encourages creativity and humor in her students. She becomes the new principal after Bump's retirement.

Unnamed spider demon - kindergarten/baby class. My headcanon name: Cera Fangston

Super cute!! I love her design and she appears to be a genuinely good teacher. Plushies, books, and art supplies all over the classroom, field trips to the astral planes... I hope she was okay after the day of unity because the kindergarteners descended into madness without her.

Unnamed parrot (?) demon - Potions Track. My headcanon name: Professor Sinder

Put a pun ("Let's mix it up!") and little doodles of potions flasks on her board, which I appreciate. Spends a lot of time with Boscha and appears to do nothing about her bullying other students, which I do not appreciate.

Unnamed bicorn - Oracle Track. My headcanon name: Professor Claire Lydgate

Serious, mysterious, detail-oriented. Cool aesthetic, but... let's be honest. That is WAY too many chalkboards. I can see why she has to keep her crystal balls in the hallway! Also, the oracle track's whole thing is ghosts, but I guess she ignored the decades-old ghost infestation in the girls' changing room and left it for other people to clean up?

Yeah. So she's either not very powerful or not very considerate of others. Maybe she's the one who keeps eating all the donuts in the staff room.

Unnamed snake (?) demon - History, math (?) My headcanon name: Professor Ladon

He doesn't like chatting in his classroom, but he sure LOVES grudgby! He teaches History and something about the Heximal System, so that's possibly a lower-level math class? His classes appear to be larger and include students from many different tracks.

Unnamed gray demon - detention track (temporary). My headcanon name: Mr. Eyevan Urgus

Sarcastic, uses his scroll a lot, punishes students with cleaning the classroom, can sleep through anything. Was only supposed to be in charge of detention track temporarily while the detention pit was being repaired, but he stuck around in the background til the end of season 2 so I guess they found something for him to do. Maybe he's a substitute? Also a contender for the donut thief.

Unnamed blue demon with wig - Bard Track (?) My headcanon name: Professor Presto

This guy appears in the background in Labyrinth Runners. I'm guessing he's the bard professor because... uhh... his robe is red (the Bard coven color) and the powdered wig reminds me of Mozart. I know that's kind of a stretch, but it's possible! The only other thing we know about the Bard professor is that they leave during the timeskip so Skara can take over.

Skara's 15th birthday happens in season 1, so she's about 19 here and probably a first-year teacher.

Miss Jenkinmeyer (no image) - possibly a staff member while Eda was attending Hexside. There was an incident involving her teeth which wound up in Eda's permanent file. The incident report, that is. Not the teeth.

Hexside Guards (temporary security guards) - can literally smell trouble. They were supposed to be protecting students, but they ended up throwing a lot of people into the detention pit.

That brings us to the end of all the canon staff members. Who is missing? We have no information on professors for the Healing, Plant, Beastkeeping, and Construction tracks, plus the PE teacher/athletic program director and any additional cafeteria/janitorial/admin staff.

I don't know if it's fair to make the snake-demon guy handle all the electives for every single student, so let's give him some help. One more electives teacher for "Spelling Class" (possibly language arts?). Heck, I'll throw in Astronomy as well because the movements of celestial bodies appear to be very important for casting powerful spells in the show.

Also... Hexside has a drama program and a championship sports program, both with VERY nice facilities.

They definitely need teachers to oversee those! Maybe the Bard and Illusions professors team up for drama, and the PE teacher is also the Grudgby coach?

5. What about the building itself?

There's a lot going on! Aside from all the classrooms, they have a cafeteria, a detention pit with tunnels under the school, a gym, an auditorium, an outdoor athletics field, Grom's prison under the gym, and this cool round atrium near the entrance.

There are multiple floors, but I don't remember seeing stairs anywhere except for the seating in the gym.

The abominations students have to wheel their homework everywhere anyway, so maybe there are no stairs and it's all spiraling ramps?

Yay for wheelbarrow accessibility!

Lastly, Eda's Secret Room of Shortcuts. It's one of the coolest concepts in the whole show, I wish we got to see it more.

To anyone who made it this far, thank you for reading! Let me know if I should add anything :)

[therealcocoshady]

Recovery - Chapter 34

Eminem x FemReader Fanfiction

Summary : Thanksgiving is just around the corner and Reader is planning Talia and Jamal's wedding when unexpected news happen.

Tags : Angst

TW : Mention of drug use - Mention of pregnancy

Author's Note : I hope you enjoy the chapter ❤️

Y/N’s POV

Ever since Marshall had informed you that Kim would be there for Thanksgiving, you were a little bit freaked out. However, you didn’t really bring up the topic, and neither did your boyfriend. After the conversation, you spent a few days pondering whether or not you should try and escape the situation. Not being American, Thanksgiving wasn’t important to you anyway so you wouldn’t mind skipping it or celebrating it the same way you had done since you came to the US - with Talia and Jamal. 

When you moved to Detroit, you quickly befriended Talia at the beginning of the school year. You were planning on spending your first Thanksgiving in your dorm room, on your own, watching a crappy movie and eating ramen, but she wouldn’t have it and invited you to spend the day with her, her boyfriend and her family. At first, you declined the invitation but she basically forced you to go and that’s how you met Jamal, as well as Talia’s mother and her three sisters. You got along with everyone and had an official, standing invitation for every holiday, your best friend’s family being just as warm and welcoming as her. Even when you were with your ex, you spent Thanksgiving with Talia. This year would be your first time celebrating it with someone else. When you told her about the change of plans, she was happy for you but made it clear that you would be missed. To be fair, you would miss them too. You didn’t know too much about how everyone else celebrated Thanksgiving, but Talia’s family certainly made it fun : everyone would spend the day cooking together in a relaxed atmosphere, making jokes, dancing to some 80s tunes and playing board games. 

You didn’t mind skipping this in order to celebrate with the man you loved, but knowing his ex-wife would be there certainly made you reconsider. However, he made it clear that he was looking forward to celebrating with you and told you how important it was for him that you be there. 

It’s a family holiday, he said. We’re officially living together, it doesn’t make sense to spend it apart, Y/N. We’re family, now. 

We’re still very new, you reminded him. What will your family think ? 

As far as they’re concerned, you can do no wrong, he chuckled. Apparently, they’re all relieved that my grumpy ass found someone who is actually willing to put up with me. And they all know and like you already. 

Except for your ex, you pointed out. 

Is that what it’s really about ? He asked with a raised eyebrow. 

You sighed and did not reply. Part of you thought that it was a good thing that Marshall and Kim were on friendly terms, for the sake of their daughters. It was a proof of maturity on their part and you had heard enough stories from your friends with divorced parents to know that it was actually a good thing. Everyone would like for their parents to be able to get along after a divorce. But being the partner of someone who was divorced made it a little challenging. After all, no one expected to spend a holiday with their boyfriend’s ex-wife, let alone relished the idea. 

I told you it will be fine, he said as he hugged you from behind while you were doing your skincare before bed. And it’s not just her, anyway. Everyone else will be there. 

Yes but she’s the only one I haven’t met yet, you said sheepishly. What if she hates me ? 

Why would she hate you ? He scoffed. 

Because I’m your girlfriend… Duh ? 

Look, Y/N, he said as he took your hands in his. Yes, Kim is my ex, and yes, we have a long and complicated history. But any form of romantic feeling between us is long gone. There won’t be any jealousy… On her part, at least. 

The end of his comment made you raise an eyebrow. 

You think I’m jealous of her ? You asked. 

I don’t know, he said with a smile. Are you ? 

I guess not, you shrugged. I do have many questions, though. 

So we’re gonna have that talk, huh ? He asked with a sigh. 

Do you mind ? 

No offense, babe, but even if I did… I know you well-enough to know that you’d toss and turn all night, and you'll drive yourself crazy and me as well. I love you, and I want to get some sleep tonight, so for both our sakes, let’s get this over with, he chuckled. 

Thank you, you said shyly as you felt your face redden a bit. 

You both sat in bed and you were nervously tugging on your nightgown, not really knowing where to start. 

I don’t have all night, though, he said playfully. Just ask your damn questions, babe. 

Did she sleep here ? You asked, as it was the first question that popped into your head - hell, maybe you were in her spot ! 

In this room or in this bed ? He asked. This is the master bedroom, so yeah, we slept here. The bed and mattress are new, though, if that’s any comfort. Next question ? 

Do you miss her, sometimes ? You asked nervously. 

He glanced at you and shook his head with a smile. 

What kind of question is that, Y/N ? He simply asked. Really ? You’re asking me if I miss her ? 

Can you blame me for wondering, though ? Everyone knows she’s the love of your life, your high-school sweetheart and stuff… 

Everyone also knows that our marriages were utter failures and that we drove each other crazy, he stated with an eye roll. 

So you never think about her ? You asked. 

That’s a different question. Of course I think about her often. 

Often ?! What the hell did he mean by that ? As he saw the expression on your face - that probably resembled that of a deer in headlights - he let out a laugh. 

I told you, babe, we have a history and three daughters, he said. Of course I think about her, whether it’s something about the girls or simply memories. I can’t erase twenty-plus years from my brain, you know ? But it doesn’t mean I miss her. I used to, for sure, but I don’t. Not anymore. You can think of the good times you had with someone without missing the relationship. 

I guess, you said. How do you feel about her now, then ? 

I mean… She’s the mother of my children and that will never change. In that regard, I respect her, because she’s doing her best to be a good mom, too. I might not always agree with her, in fact there’s a lot of shit we disagree on, but she’s high in my esteem. Also because she put up with a lot of me and my shit, he said. 

Do you have feelings for her ? You blurted out before you were able to hold back the words. 

As soon as you spoke these words, he frowned and shook his head. He sighed and took your hand in his, interlocking your fingers. 

I just told you I don’t miss her, he said. So no, I don’t have feelings for her. Not romantic, at least. I do have affection for her, though, in a way. I care for her and I don’t want anything bad happening to her. If she ever needs me, I’m here. I told you before - whether we like it or not, Kim and I will always be family. So I will always be there to support her. 

You nodded, a bit lost in your thoughts. He pulled you in his arms and leaned in, his forehead resting against yours while his piercing blue gaze held yours. 

I need you to understand something, baby, he said. Nothing I’m saying here affects the way I feel about you. Just because I care for Kim doesn’t mean I don’t love you. You are the woman I love and the one who makes me happy, and no one will change that. 

Ok, you said as you nodded softly. I love you too, you know ? 

And even if she did hate you, which she won’t, you’re the one person I chose to share my life with. Whether anyone likes it or not, you are my girl and they have to respect that. And I know she does, he said. 

Ok, you said. Does she know that we live together here ? 

She does, he  nodded. 

And that I’m… You know… Younger ? 

Yes, that too, he chuckled. I mean, I told her about you before so she knows a couple of things. She knows your name, your age, what you do in life, part of our story and, most of all, she knows I am head over heels in love with you. 

When did you tell her all that ? You asked, a bit surprised. 

I talked about you on a couple of occasions, he explained. When we got together, and a couple of months after our breakup, too. We don’t speak or see each other too often, but we keep up with each other’s life. 

He was smiling, which was sort of reassuring. His transparency made you feel at peace and, even though you were still a bit anxious, you eased up. You smiled back and kissed him on the cheek. 

Thank you for reassuring me, you said softly. I think you got yourself a night without me tossing and turning. 

Good, he chuckled. I get how weird it must be for you, you know ? But I’m sure everything will be fine. It’s just Thanksgiving. 

You smiled and nuzzled his neck as he held you in his arms, tracing circles on your shoulder. 

I love you, Marshall. 

I love you too, Y/N. And I’m really happy we’re celebrating our first holiday together, he added. 

That’s a milestone, you said. 

The first of many, many more, he said with a smile before pressing a kiss to your temple. 

So… What does a typical Thanksgiving look like in the Mathers household ? You asked. What should I expect ? 

Just classic Thanksgiving stuff, you know ? He shrugged. 

Well I only ever celebrated at Talia’s family’s, so… I don’t know, you chuckled. In my experience, it involves Talia’s mom preaching about how good God is and the blessings he gives, lots of cooking, lots of eating, board games and Talia’s sisters arguing over who Jamal prefers ! 

Sometimes I forget you’re not from here, he chortled. No preaching here, but lots of eating, just hanging out together, talking, watching movies, playing games… And I have my basketball tradition with Nate. 

Let me guess ? You usually win ? You asked with a grin. 

I lost the last one, actually, he chuckled. But I’ll definitely humiliate him this year. I have a lady to impress, I can’t lose. 

If you win, I’ll give you something to look forward to, you said teasingly. 

Like what ? He asked with a smirk. 

Win and you’ll see, you replied with a wink. 

I have an entire week left before the game, he said. Believe me, I’m going to train for victory. 

You giggled and kissed him softly before turning the lights off. You were a little reassured and figured that, even though your first Thanksgiving with him would be a bit stressful, you would get to admire him all sweaty on the basketball court and that would be absolutely worth it. 

In the week leading up to Thanksgiving, you were busy with wedding stuff and maid of honor duties. Talia and Jamal had yet to set a date for the wedding but that didn’t prevent your best friend from giving you tasks such as browsing ideas, looking at dress designers and searching for venues. You gladly obliged : you had sent out a few applications for jobs but you hadn’t gotten any answers yet and you were starting to get a bit bored. You would have gladly taken care of the house or garden, but there was staff hired for that and the only thing you could do to help around the house was to cook dinner for Marshall when he came back from work. You enjoyed it but it was clearly not enough to fill your days and you were starting to feel like one of those rich, bored housewives. Helping Talia with the wedding was a welcome distraction and you took the task with the utmost seriousness. You had always been a sucker for weddings and you knew full well it would be the only one you would get to organize so you decided to enjoy it. Every day after she got off from work, your friend would come to your place and your living room was soon filled with bridal magazines and moodboards for what was set to be the wedding of the century. Jamal’s work as a renowned beatmaker allowed them to have a very comfortable lifestyle and he had made clear that, whatever Talia wanted for the wedding, she would get. And she happened to have expensive taste, as well as a never-ending guest list. 

I will never find a venue, she loudly complained. I either hate the places we’re looking at, or they’re simply not big enough. 

You let out a sympathetic laugh. With the immense guest list they had, it was no surprise that finding a venue would be challenging. It seemed like every single person they had ever met would be invited. 

We will find something, you said with a smile. Or maybe you could try and shrink the guest list ? 

Jamal put you up to this, didn’t he ? She sighed. He keeps on telling me that we should keep it small. If it were up to him, we would elope… 

That could be super romantic, you know, you said tentatively. I mean… How many people on your guest list do you actually keep in touch with anyway ? 

I want my princess wedding, she said. You don’t know what it is. You’ll see when you get engaged ! 

I’m not getting married, you reminded her. Marshall doesn’t want to get married. You know it, I know it, everybody knows it. 

I can’t believe you’re willing to accept that, though, she said with an eye roll. You, of all people, not getting married ? 

You know I’m a sucker for weddings and all things “traditional family”, you chuckled. But I’d rather never get married and be with Marshall than the other way around. He means more to me than a dress I’d wear for a day. 

You know I love Em, but I just don’t get it, she shrugged before munching on a cupcake you had baked earlier. He’s old, so I get the “not wanting kids” part. But you moved back here for him and you decided to give up on kids to be with him, so the least he could do is put a ring on it, you know ? 

We just got back together, you giggled. And don’t get me wrong, if he asked for my hand, I would say yes. I mean, he is the love of my life. But he seems pretty adamant. And as long as I’m with him, I’m good, so really… Doesn’t matter. 

Still… I never thought you would be ready to renounce marriage and children for any man. 

You could absolutely see where Talia was coming from. You had spent countless hours talking about wedding stuff, since the two of you had met. You had actually bonded over your love of romantic movies and series and watched countless wedding-related TV shows. But you had made your choice and you understood that Marshall didn’t want that. And after all, he was right : you didn’t need to sign a piece of paper to be in a loving, committed relationship. As long as you got to experience life with him and make great memories, you were happy. And as for the fun you would have had planning your own wedding, you would live vicariously through Talia, who would be the most beautiful bride. The conversation shifted and you got back to your order of business : the wedding. You looked at venues while she took a fun break and looked at the Vera Wang website.

I’m going to be sick, Talia muttered after a while. 

Come on, you chuckled. The bridal collections can’t be that bad… 

No, I’m really feeling sick, she said before running to the bathroom. 

You heard her puke profusely and looked at the plate of cupcakes. She had eaten about half a dozen. You had eaten a few yourself, though not nearly as much, and you were feeling fine, so you doubted that your baking was actually to blame. When she came back from the bathroom, she looked rather ill and tired.  

Do you want some tea ? You offered. 

Yes, please, she said in a croaky voice. 

Lay on the couch, I’ll make it. Do you think you caught a stomach bug or something ? 

I don’t know, she said in a small voice. Maybe it’s my period ? I’ve been waiting for it to actually come for a while. 

Wait… You’re late ? You asked with a raised eyebrow. 

You stared at her in disbelief and started to put two and two together. In the past days, she had complained about being tired and bloated, but you didn’t think too much of it. However, now that you knew she was late, it made you think of your own symptoms, from when you were pregnant. That’s how it had started after all : feeling tired, hungry and bloated, with a bit of morning sickness to top it off. 

I can’t be pregnant, Talia said with a terrified look on her face. My mother gave me enough shit about living with Jamal before being married, she will kill me if I have a baby out of wedlock. 

Maybe it’s just a false alarm. You’re using protection, right ? You asked as you tried to reassure her. 

Of course, she said. I mean, except once, but what would be the odds ? 

When was that ? You asked with a raised eyebrow. 

Hum… The night we got engaged ? She said nervously. 

You opened big eyes. The night they got engaged was the night Jamal brought condoms to your room. And doing the math, it would make sense and explain Talia’s period being quite a bit late. On some level… You were the one who stopped taking the pill after your breakup and your best friend might as well be the one who ended up pregnant. You convinced her to take a pregnancy test and the two of you ended up driving to the nearest pharmacy, buying one from every brand. When you got back home, Talia was shaking with nerves. 

You’ll be fine, you said as you gave her a hug. You guys have been together for ages and you guys have talked about having kids before. You know he will be supportive. 

I know but… Right before the wedding ?! She asked nervously. That was not the plan, Y/N. I wanted to look good in my dress, I wanted to show off my figure in a bikini on a Hawaiian beach for my honeymoon… 

Only one way to find out, you said. Now, go and take the test ! 

In true bestie fashion, you sat on the tub while Talia was peeing on the stick. She handed it to you during the mandatory three minute waiting period. You had been there before and you knew damn well how she might be feeling. You held her hand and started to feel overcome with nerves, as well as many other emotions. You were probably a bad friend for this, and you would never confess to feeling this way, but deep down, you were feeling envious. You were content with your life, but some shameful part of you felt like you would have been in her place, if you hadn’t broken up with Simon. You would most likely be engaged, maybe with a rainbow baby on the way. In a way, you were envious. Of course, being with Marshall was everything you wanted and you loved him more than hypothetical plans of having kids or getting married, and Talia was more than deserving of these things, but it was stronger than you. When the alarm on your phone rang, both you and Talia took a deep breath. 

I can’t look at it, she said. 

You sort of have to, you pointed out. You have to know, right ? 

You look at it and tell me. 

You nervously took the stick and looked at it. Two lines. Positive. 

You’re… pregnant, you said in a blank voice. 

She gasped and looked at it herself. She freaked out and refused to believe it, trying to convince the both of you that it might be a false positive and she ended up guzzling almost a gallon of water and taking another test. Then another one. And another one. Of course, all of them had the same result : your best friend was definitely pregnant. 

I’m pregnant, she said in disbelief. I’m really pregnant.

How are you feeling ? You asked. 

I… I can’t believe it, she simply said. I am pregnant. 

She stared at the numerous tests on the sink and put a hand on her belly. She stared at you as tears welled up in her eyes. 

I’m pregnant, she repeated. 

Look, if you don’t feel ready, you can absolutely…, you began. 

No, she said. I think… I’m happy. I’m having a baby with the love of my life. I’m so happy. 

She took you in her arms and held you tightly as she sobbed with happiness. You were emotional - for a lot of different reasons - and you felt a tear roll on your cheek. Talia was the kindest soul you had ever met and you had absolutely no doubt that she would be an amazing mother. She was already so good at taking care of people. 

You’re going to be a splendid mom, you said softly. That baby is going to be so lucky. 

You’re going to be the best aunt, she said emotionally. 

And Jamal is going to be the greatest Dad on earth ! 

Oh my God, I have to tell Jamal ! She said. And my mom ? Do I call my mom ? And the wedding ?! What do I do ?!?! 

You could see her go through so many emotions at once. You tried your best to reassure her and walked her through what she needed to do. First, you told her to go home and break the news to Jamal before telling anyone else. Then, she would have to make some medical appointments to ensure everything was alright with her pregnancy. As for the wedding, you assured her that, whether they wanted to elope or wait until after the baby was born, you would do your best to make sure her dreams came true and that she would have the most beautiful wedding. Whatever she needed, you would be there for her. She hugged you tight before leaving your place, making you promise that you would not tell a soul, not even Marshall. 

MARSHALL’S POV 

Marshall sighed in relief as he drove past the gate of his property. The past few days at the studio had been pretty rough : nothing seemed to be going right and it was starting to get on his nerves. The week had started with an artist postponing a recording and writing session they were supposed to have together, as well as a sample clearing issue. However, there was a bigger problem : whenever he wanted to write, he couldn’t bring himself to. Whenever he jotted down some ideas or words on a page, everything felt insanely corny or simply wrong. He knew that was to be expected, though : whenever his personal life was peaceful, that’s when he found it harder to write and, right now, things happened to be going great at home. Every morning, he woke up with the biggest smile on his face, happy to be with the woman he loved. She was truly amazing and he loved living with her. She was easy to get along with and she took care of him by cooking, baking and providing him with comfort whenever he needed. There was literally nothing for him to complain about and, deep down, maybe it was what was lacking. When they were broken up, he was hurting and felt like shit but at least, it was a familiar feeling. As hard as it had been, he had learned to thrive on sadness, hurt, anger and resentment. Happiness, on the other hand, felt foreign to him, especially when it was this peaceful and domestic. There was always this irrational part of him that felt like it was too good to be true and was in panic mode. When he was with Kim, this kind of calm, peace and happiness only meant a storm was coming and that he was about to be brought to his knees. Same when he was a teenager living with his mother : when things were going great, it always meant drama was coming their way. So, obviously, he had developed trust issues and always felt odd when things were going good. Of course, he loved being with Y/N and he would not have it any other way. But at the same time, he couldn’t shake the feeling of anxiety. 

When he got home, he found Y/N reading yet another bridal magazine on the couch while a documentary was playing on the living room TV. He immediately joined her and pulled her in for a hug. Her presence was just what he needed. However, she seemed a bit more distracted than usual. 

How was wedding planning today ? He asked as he settled and pulled her legs over his knees. 

Eventful, she replied. 

Really ? What happened ? Did you argue about the color of the bridesmaids dresses ? He chuckled. 

No, no, she said. I mean, whatever, it’s not really interesting. 

Are you alright ? He asked. 

Yeah… How was your day ? 

She seemed a little nervous and preoccupied, but he figured that Talia was probably to blame. Jamal’s fiancée was amazing, but she did keep Y/N busy with wedding planning and he knew that she was definitely the type to turn into a bridezilla. He told his girlfriend about his day and a meeting he had about upcoming performance dates. He was set to be a headliner for Lollapalooza, not only in the US but also in Europe and South America. He tried to focus on the positive and keep his writing struggles to himself. 

How would you feel about coming with me for Lollapalooza ? He asked. 

I don’t know, she shrugged. 

Come on, he said with a smile. It could be fun. I don’t want to be away from you for too long. And you could also enjoy the festival, see concerts, and we could travel a bit between the performance dates and make it romantic. What do you think ? 

That could be fun, she agreed. I don’t know if I’ll be free, though. 

I think Talia can do without you for a little while, he chuckled. 

No, I meant… From work, she corrected. In case I find something, you know ? But maybe Talia will need me too. I don’t know. 

We’ll see, he said with a smile. Are you sure you’re ok ? You seem… Gloomy ? 

I’m fine, she shrugged. Sorry. I guess I’m just under the weather. 

You’re working too hard for this wedding, he said as he took the magazine from her hands and pulled her closer to him. Come here. 

She hummed and buried her face in his neck. They cuddled in this position for a while and he started to relax. The warmth of her breath on his skin was doing a good job soothing him and making him forget about the frustrations of the day. From the day she walked into his life, she had been a peaceful presence for him and getting to come home to her in the evening was a blessing he was definitely grateful for. He enjoyed being in a bubble with her and being able to forget about the pressure of his work. They didn’t need to speak, her mere presence in the room and her touch were enough for him to be able to ease up. 

I missed you today, he said as he kissed her temple. 

I missed you too, she replied. 

If you didn’t have that appointment tomorrow, I’d take you to work with me, he continued. I could use your hugs throughout the day. 

What appointment ? She asked, seemingly confused. 

Your OB/GYN appointment for your contraception. Isn’t that tomorrow ?

Oh, right, she said sheepishly. I forgot about that. 

Are you ok, babe ? He asked with his eyebrows furrowed. I mean… If you don’t want to take the pill, it’s fine, we can stick to condoms. 

No, no, it’s not that, she replied. 

What’s wrong, then ? 

Nothing, she said. Sorry. Mind if I go lie down before preparing dinner ? I don’t feel too well. 

No, of course not, he said softly. Do you want me to come with you ? 

Don’t worry, she said. You can stay here. 

She got up and kissed his cheek before heading to their bedroom. Something definitely seemed off. Ever since they got back from Europe, she had been in a rather good mood, even considering the situation with her Dad. Now, she almost seemed depressed and he had no idea why. He decided to let her rest, figuring that she was probably just tired or that her period might be on the way. A couple of hours later, he went to see her and ask if she was hungry. She immediately offered to cook something for him, even though she didn’t plan on eating, but he told her not to bother. Y/N was laying in bed, wearing one of his tee-shirts, doom scrolling on her phone, the preoccupied look still on her face. He kissed her and went to the kitchen for a quick sandwich and a can of diet coke. When he was done, he threw his can in the trash and saw three sticks that looked all too familiar : pregnancy tests. Ever since he got back with Y/N, they’d had protected sex and, on one occasion when the condom broke, she had gotten emergency contraception. There was no way she could be pregnant. So why the hell had she taken these tests ? In a matter of seconds, his heart had started pounding in his chest. He nervously grabbed one of the tests, hoping it was negative. But there were clearly two lines. Positive. So were the two other ones. He felt terrified and dizzy. That had to be a nightmare. He could not have a baby. Not at fifty-two. Not when he had sworn that he would not have any more children. If anything, he was the last person on earth that should have kids. He loved his daughters, obviously, and even though raising them was his biggest accomplishment, it was also the hardest thing he had ever had to do. Seeing the two lines on the pregnancy tests gave him flashbacks of all the sleepless nights he’d had, tossing and turning, doubting himself and being terrified to mess things up. There was no way he would be able to do it all over again. Now that his daughters were grown-up and out of the house, he wanted to take it easy, enjoy life with Y/N and be able to do whatever he wanted. The last thing he expected was to change diapers, get up in the middle of the night and just struggle all over again. He took his face in his hands. He could not do this, and especially not with Y/N. She had not even been sober for two years. He had been there with Kim and he knew what it was like to see the mother of his children relapse and struggle with sobriety. No kid ever deserved this and he was simply not strong enough to raise a kid with another addict. Not again. He tried to pace himself but he couldn’t. He had to talk to her. He did not understand. Why hadn’t she told him she was late ? When did she take the test ? Why didn’t she tell him she was pregnant ? He had so many questions. He grabbed the sticks and walked to the bedroom to confront her.

Please tell me it’s a prank, he said as he walked in. Please tell me it’s not true. Please tell me they’re fake. 

Fake what ? What prank ? She asked as she looked up. There’s no prank. 

So it’s real ?! He blurted out. How long did you think you could hide this from me ?! 

Hide what from you ? She asked as her eyebrows knitted. 

THIS ! He yelled as he threw the pregnancy tests on the bed.

He was livid. His anxiety had simply turned to anger. The idea that she could have the audacity to pretend not to know what he was talking about was driving him crazy. Had she even taken the plan B pill ? He couldn’t think straight anymore. He felt betrayed and trapped. He could see her face change as she saw the pregnancy tests. Her face started to crumble and tears started to roll on her cheeks. But if she thought he would fall for it, she was wrong. No amount of crying would work and she was not getting away with it. 

Don’t even try that shit with me, Y/N, he said coldly. You don’t get to pretend you have no idea when I’m talking about when I just found these fucking pregnancy tests. And you don’t get to cry when you’re the one who tried to hide that shit for me. What were you fucking thinking ?! Were you waiting for the legal delay for an abortion to be over ? For an ultrasound to soften me up ?! 

W-What ? She asked. No, Marshall, it’s not… 

What is it, huh ?! Fuck, we talked about this, we fucking broke up over this, so don’t tell me you didn’t fucking know how I feel about having kids, he continued. I’m not having another kid. Especially not with you. When you get to the doctor tomorrow, you better ask him to point you to the nearest abortion clinic ! 

She stared at him in shock. Her mouth was slightly open, she was still crying but she looked in disbelief. What was she thinking ? That he would jump up at the news ? He shook his head and headed to the bathroom to get ready for bed. 

It’s Talia, she said. She…

Of course it’s Talia, he scoffed. Of course your stupid friend put you up to this. Do you know the number of times she told me to suck it up and agree to marriage, babies and shit and get you back ? I gotta hand it to her, she’s fucking persistent. Though I must admit I didn’t think she would put you up to this. 

At this point, he wasn’t even thinking about what he was saying, just spitting his words in a spiteful way. As seconds went by, he was getting more and more worked up. He didn’t care about this pregnancy. He did not want to. He simply refused this possibility. There was no way he was having another baby. He loved Y/N but there was no way he would have a kid with her. 

You’re not the first person to try this with me, you know ? He spat. I should have known better. But you’re the last person I would have expected to try and fuck me ovI- 

I’M NOT PREGNANT ! Y/N finally yelled before throwing the tests back in his face. 

You’re not ?! He asked in disbelief. Whose fucking tests are they then ?! 

TALIA’S ! TALIA IS PREGNANT,  YOU ASSHOLE ! NOT ME ! 

He felt a sudden wave of relief wash over him. He didn’t realize he needed to breathe that much, but it felt like he had a whole bottle of oxygen poured into his lungs. He felt at least thirty pounds lighter. Y/N, on the other hand, looked absolutely livid. And why wouldn’t she ? He realized he had basically insulted her, blinded by anger. As his mind got a little clearer, he recognized he might have gone a little overboard. 

Thank God, he sighed. Babe, I…

Cut it, she said as she got up from bed and started to leave the room. 

Wait, he pleaded as he grabbed her arm. 

She jerked her arm and groaned before going to the corridor. He followed her, trying to apologize and get her to talk to him. 

Y/N, I’m sorry, he said sheepishly. 

Please, she scoffed. You’re not sorry. 

I am, he assured her. Nerves got the best of me. I’m really sorry. 

Well, at least I got to know what you really think of me, she said. 

Where are you going ? He asked as she went down the stairs. 

On the couch. I don’t know about you, but I usually don’t sleep in the same room as people who think I am capable of betraying them, she spat. 

I didn’t say that, he defended himself knowing full well he had, indeed, said that. 

You did, Marshall, she said coldly. You literally said I tried to fuck you over. And not only do you think I am a terrible person, you also insulted my best friend. 

You’re not sleeping in the living room, it’s stupid, he said. 

Well I would have appreciated waiting until tomorrow to gather my things and figure out my next move, she pointed out. 

Your next… Y-You want to… leave ?! 

She did not answer. She only shrugged. Her demeanor and gaze were cold. She was clearly pissed, understandably so. But… Leaving ? She couldn’t leave him. He couldn’t lose her. He had promised to himself he would do everything in his power not to. The idea of her leaving put him in a state of panic and brought him back to their breakup, to that fateful Saturday morning, over pancakes, about seven or eight months ago. 

You can’t leave. 

Why should I stay ?! She spat. Why should I stay with someone who thinks I am capable of betraying them ? 

I didn’t mean that, he pleaded. I panicked, I’m sorry. Babe, I love you. I know you’d never… Fuck, I… Don’t leave me. Please. 

Let’s be clear, she said as she looked at him dead in the eyes. The only reason I’m still standing here is because my best friend is telling her future husband that they’re having a child and there is no way in hell I’m ruining that moment for her. Otherwise, I’d be over there and back in my old room already. 

Don’t do this, he said on the verge of tears. Please don’t leave me. I just… You seemed a little off, today, and you said it had been eventful, and when I saw the tests, I… I don’t know, I panicked. 

The reason I was off is because my best friend just told me she was pregnant, you dumbass ! She yelled. I was off because I had to stand in my own bathroom and hold these fucking pregnancy tests and see that they were positive and they’re not mine ! 

She was starting to cry again. She mumbled something in French and went to the living room, as he followed in her step. She sat on the couch and brought her knees to her chin. He stood there, watching her. 

Just leave, she said. 

No, he replied. I want to talk about it. I want to make things right between us. I’m so sorry… 

You want to talk ? Let’s talk then, she said sarcastically. You said you’re not having another kid, especially not with me. What was that ? 

I just don’t want more kids, he said evasively. I’m in my fifties, I’ve had three daughters, I don’t want more. 

I know that, she said as she rolled her eyes. And I respect that. But answer the damn question, Marshall. What did you mean about me ?! 

It doesn’t matter, he pleaded. It really doesn’t. You don’t want a kid, do you ?! 

Believe me, the last thing on my wish list is to have a baby, especially with you, she replied. 

Then it doesn’t matter, he simply said. I was out of line, I shouldn’t have accused you and I’m sorry. Let’s go to bed, I’ll make it up to you. 

Just say it, she said firmly. If you don’t, I swear to God, I’m packing a suitcase, calling a cab and booking a hotel room. 

I meant addicts like us don’t get to make that kind of mistakes, Y/N, he sighed. Addicts are shitty parents. I should know. 

Wow, she simply scoffed. 

She was staring at him with a look of both pain and disdain. He had obviously struck a chord. She closed her eyes and sighed. 

Why do you even bother with me ? She questioned. Why did you take me back ? 

What do you mean ? He asked nervously. I love you, I want to be with you. 

Why would you want to be with someone who you obviously think is not good enough ?! That’s just stupid, she pointed out. Why bother ? 

What ?! No, Y/N, I don’t… Of course you’re good enough. 

You know, I’m fine with your choices, she said with a hint of sadness. I respect that you’re done with marriage, and that you’re done with having kids. But you thinking I shouldn’t get to have children ? That fucking hurts. 

I’m sorry… 

STOP ! She screamed. You’re not sorry. I was ready to renounce having kids. Because I love you more than any unborn child. But do you even realize how much it hurts to know that if I had actually gotten accidentally pregnant, the person I sacrificed everything to be with would not support me ?! 

He felt his heart strain a little. Seeing the pain on her face made him feel like the worst asshole in the world. To be fair, if she had actually been pregnant, he would have supported her. Sure, he thought abortion would be a better option, but he would never force her. If they had been in that situation - and thank God they weren’t -  he would have stood by her side and supported her to the best of his abilities. He had simply been mean and stupid. Once again, anger had gotten the best of him. 

I would have been there, he said. Of course I would have been. I love you, Y/N. 

But you think I would be a shitty mom, she pointed out. 

I’ve seen addiction ruin families, he explained. It certainly ruined mine, in more ways than one. 

You still think of me as an addict, don’t you ? She asked on the verge of tears. No matter how long I can stay sober, you think I can’t be trusted ever again ? 

I-I don’t know, he replied honestly. In my book, an addict is an addict. I still think of myself as an addict. It doesn’t mean people can’t improve or recover but… It’s tricky. But I love you. I love you more than life itself, baby. 

She looked at him and simply shrugged. No matter what he said, he got the feeling that it would not matter much. He hated that angry side of himself. It wasn’t the first time that his anger got the best of him and ruined everything. He had been to therapy for his anger for years but, right when he thought he had made progress, it had to come and bite him in the ass once again. 

Please talk to me, he begged. Please say something. 

I have my appointment tomorrow morning, she simply said. I’ll pack my things when I get back. I will be out of here by the time you get back from work tomorrow.