#i specifically chose my parents which would mean that i had WANTED to be raised by them. that i had WANTED to be raised this way. which.

[ghostinacardboardbox]

@averagecygnet-blog i accidentally deleted your ask about my opinion on the themes in Black Friday 😶 sorry bout that anywhere here’s my thoughts.

So like first of all, like you’ve already said, the critique of consumerism is incredibly heavy handed. You are right. It is not at all subtle. We’ve all heard Made in America. But I really don’t think it was possible to tell this story and have it be subtle; this was always going to be an incredibly overt anti-capitalist message.

Starting with the real life inspirations of the premise, the “Tickle-Me Wiggly” is already a direct reference to “Tickle-Me Elmo,” which was a toy that inspired real life riots ending in at least a handful of injuries and arrests. In the scene right after the Wiggly Jingle, Paul and Emma discuss Cabbage Patch Kids. The Cabbage Patch riots have their own wiki page. The idea of parents literally resorting to violence over toys on Black Friday is something that already happens. So this musical is really just looking at those events, saying, “Wow, capitalism sure makes people behave badly,” and then pushing that concept to its most exaggerated form. The fact that it isn’t subtle is not a bug, it’s a feature.

I also see people bring up this theme almost entirely in relation to the song Made in America rather than connecting it to almost every scene. As if this isn’t a show that doesn’t begin with an advertisement. The opening number is an ad.

(Apparently an effective one, considering how quickly Starkid sells out of the Lord in Black dolls whenever they sell them. People literally watched a whole musical about how the doll represents using the product of capitalism to distract from societal problems and then went and bought the doll. And I would have, too, if I had the money. But I think about the irony.)

I'm not going to go through every scene and the capitalist imagery in it, mostly because I don't actually have anything particularly unique to say about it. Like most of them are fairly self-explanatory and I'm not particularly good at analysis. But do want to specifically bring up the lyrics of "Our Doors Are Open" since they usually get overshadowed by people talking about how much cunt Corey served (it's a lot of cunt. Record amounts of cunt served), because the entire song is both satirical and foreshadowing. Also the bridge of "First of Famine" and the dehumanization of the worker, etc. etc.

I'm also fascinated by the social dynamics in Black Friday. Lex is basically raising her sister due to their mother's neglect; Tom is a single dad; Becky is a domestic abuse survivor; and while Linda's family externally looks very well-put together, she's had multiple affairs, and it's revealed in the Nightmare Time episode "Honey Queen" that she blatantly plays favorites with her kids and has a terrible relationship with her father. Lex is a poor retail worker, Tom and Becky are middle class, and Linda is very wealthy. Black Friday more than any other Starkid show acknowledges the implications of social class, I think. I wonder if part of why a lot of people don't like it is because it's not really escapism the way a lot of other musicals are; it's pretty clear about dealing with real life problems, in a very simplified but obvious way.

I think all the time about the scene where Linda tells Becky, in front of a crowd, that everyone knew her husband was abusive and chose to stay silent. It's such an important moment because it's directly showing the audience just how cruel Linda is. It had been implied before but this was on another level. And it also serves as, again, a pretty basic depiction of how society treats victims. Like, saying that "bystanders will always look away as long as there's plausible deniability to preserve their own comfort" is pretty simple, but that doesn't mean it's a bad point to make, and I think it's made well. The title song also has the lines "I don't want your half-baked sympathy, / When did it save those in need?" which reinforces a similar concept; expressing pity isn't the same as actually taking any kind of action.

And then, of course, there is all the religious imagery. Every time I watch this show I notice more of it, it's everywhere and it's so cool. The show takes place during the holiday season so there are a lot of references to Christmas, specifically. Wiggly keeps saying it will be his birthday, and Linda will "birth" him, so they are tied to Jesus and the Virgin Mary, symbolically (While writing this I had the thought that Wiley possibly counts as the angel Gabriel, then). And I think that using Christmas works because of how commercial Christmas in the US is. If your eldrith god is using capitalist desires as a recruiting tactic, having him bastardize Christmas for his own purposes is a pretty logical step I think. It's also not just that Wiggly is associated with Christmas thematically but also in a sense the iconography of the holiday becomes Wiggly. The garlands on the balcony turning into Wiggly's tentacles is one of the greatest set design pieces I've ever seen. Even apart from the functionality of it as a low-cost set that can go unnoticed until it's needed, it so perfectly evokes the imagery of Wiggly literally corrupting the holiday imagery. The first time I saw that scene I was amazed. I don't feel like checking rn who did the set design for Black Friday but whoever they are, they're fucking incredible. No notes.

And then the music. This is by far my favorite Starkid score overall. I love it so much. Partially because I, known 80's pop-rock enjoyer, am obsessed with a good synthesizer, but also just because of how well the songs suit this particular story. The synths are used most in the songs that show Wiggly's influence (Feast or Famine, Adore Me, Wiggle). Is "non-traditional instruments represent the unknown and otherworldly" the most unique special concept ever? No. But I like it and it sounds cool so like idc.

Jeff Blim is an incredible songwriter who is so talented in so many genres, and I'm always impressed with the songs he writes for Hatchetfield. I think sometimes we don't appreciate enough that all of these songs are by one guy (also Matt Dahan's musical direction for the entire series and the underscoring for both seasons of Nightmare Time that works in the melodies of previously used songs so incredibly). All of the Nightmare Time songs are so different, and all three of the stage shows have a very distinctive sound that really makes sense with the story that's being told. And one of the things Jeff does best in my opinion is the use of repeated melodies and leitmotifs.

Hatchetfield is full of them. There's been a lot of discussion of it in Nerdy Prudes because that show has so many motifs (i.e. the Nightmare Time riff, the "I'm not a loser" melody), and one of them actually comes from Black Friday. In The Summoning, right after Wiggly says "fwendy-wends," the keyboard melody that plays is the same as the part in the song Wiggle that goes "We will build a portal just for [when he comes]" (The last few notes fade directly into the chorus of The Summoning). I'm not the first person to notice this or anything but I thought it was so cool when it happened.

And Wiggle itself is using a different melody: The Carol of the Bells. Again, it ties into the idea of Wiggly completely taking over the idea of the Christmas season. The lyrics of Wiggle also include the lines "He will rise up with joyful noise," and I didn't realize that not everyone would catch that as a religious reference until a friend commented about it but "joyful noise" is a biblical reference (Psalm 100:1). It all ties back to the religious themes.

This last one may not be intentional, but the last song also really makes me think of another Christmas carol? The opening lyrics of What If Tomorrow Comes ("Do you all see what I see, / What I know, / What I see?") really reminds me of the song "Do You All Hear What I Hear?" The melody is different and only vaguely similar so I may be reading too far into it, but I always got the feeling that I'd heard something like that before and wasn't able to place it until last year.

Anyway TLDR Black Friday is heavy handed but I think it actually works better that way, and I like how strong the imagery throughout it is.

[zestydistress]

•°∆Looney Tunes Marvin the Martian headcanons∆°•

My brain is fucked, so I'm writing Marvin the Martian lore late at night. I'm forcing you to read my headcanons.

MARTIAN HEADCANONS

Words for a Martian child (and/or like- daughter or son or something): neonate, scion, larva, pupa, bairn, fledgling, successor, stock, begat, brood, young, hatch, posterity, spawn, progeny, sprog, raise, and xerox. (Xerox is very frowned upon, and you would be scrutinized if you refered to a scion, or any martian, as a xerox.)

Words for a martian "parent": guardian, forebear, roots, engender, begetter, wellspring, watch, exemplar, sire. (Sire is also frowned upon.)

Words for a Martian "sibling": issue, kin, rings, latches, gilds, heir, stock, cognate.

Most martians have a biological need to take care of their own kind. Larva specifically. And it has become law on Mars that once a martian who lives on Mars reaches 1,000 years old they must take in a larva as a progeny and raise it.

Neonates are born from martians, the same as all creatures, but not in the way you think. Martians asexually reproduce, but only during death. As the final stage of death, instead of decomposition, a new martian is born from their ashes and is taken to "The Stock Center" whenever found. (The stock center is essentially an orphanage.)

Larva are not copies of their predecessors, they often hardly ever have anything in common with their source. What mostly affect a pupa's mind and body is their environment. This is why calling a martian a "xerox" is scrutinized and offensive. A xerox is a clone. A copy. They are not copies. Martians don't have blood relatives at all. I put parent and siblings in quotes when saying the word meanings because that's not really what they are.

There are many neonates in the stock center, because that is where every martian "child" goes as soon as someone finds them. There are too many, which is why it is mandatory. Martians don't have children nor parents, but what they've made is close.

The stock center is like an orphanage, but doesn't function like one. Instead of the "parent" picking a child, the Larvae(baby-ish -> child-ish) and Pupae(preteen-ish -> teen-ish) pick their guardian themselves.

Martians who work for/have worked for the monarch wear articles of clothing similar to that of Mars: the Roman God of War. It is known to bring them good fortune and prosperity in their battles. The first time martians had invaded earth was in Rome, and they had taken to the clothing and culture quickly, quite a few even stayed to just study the earthlings. (I had learned that Marvin's helmet and skirt were based off of Mars, the Roman God of War. I knew his outfit was roman inspired, but I didn't realize it was because of the MARS GOD.)

What always bugs me about how Marvin is sometimes portrayed: he celebrates earth holidays, specifically Christmas is what I see most of. But he wouldn't. I mean he might have started to celebrate with others because he's been on earth, but he would not want to go home to mars for Christmas because he does not have holidays. So:

Martians don’t celebrate earth holidays or anything(Though Marvin does like to attend the occasional holiday party, just to catch up with his enemies and study traditions of earthlings.), but they do have celebrations on certain dates. The Forebears(The day where the scion chose their roots, it is celebrated every year, like a birthday), Spawn Raise(an informal term for The Forebears), Emor(Their first attack to Earth, martians soon learnt after this first attack that most earthlings write from left to right), Revital(A week off of duties, 4 times a year, it differs from everyone when it will be depending on their job, and obviously things will change for legionaries, auxiliaries, velites, hoplites and other soldiers, but it is a mandated honoring), and more that I have yet to come up with. These "Holidays" are called Honorings on Mars.

Martian gender/sex. Doesn't exist. They don't have sexes or gender. They're more like bees, there's always a queen, workers and drones. The "drones" are called Roman soldiers(will give a list of types of Roman soldiers later, and that will be what everyone is called depending on what the drones do.) Drones protect the queen and carry out their bidding. Then there's workers, those are ones who are sent out to gather recourses and information. Workers are called proles. Martian's bodies have nothing to do with gender, their forms slightly mimic their guardians as they are larva. It's only slightly though, and then their body grows on its own without mimicking their watch. Most martians are smaller, like Marvin, but many are still quite tall, like the queen. And how drones & proles are chosen, it is completely up to the queen. A variety of martians even bounce from drones and proles if it is necessary. Also, all martians use any pronouns. They don't even use pronouns, they simply call them by rank or name, I just use pronouns for ease and so that you understand who I mean-

Proles often keep "pets," to help them with retrievals.

(A Roman soldier could be called: A legionary, if he was a Roman citizen and an elite soldier who served for at least 25 years.(make that 2,500 years.) An auxiliary, if he was a non-citizen recruit or conscript who served for less pay and often in more dangerous roles. A velite, if he was a light infantryman armed with darts and a wooden shaft. A hoplite, if he was a heavily armed spearman. A specific name based on his function, such as accensus, actuarius, adiutor, aeneator, or agrimensor. Will probably work on these more, as I've gotten them straight from Google.)

MARVIN/X-2/MARCIA/MELVIN HEADCANONS

Marvin is over 2,000 years old(this is canon)

He has 2 larvae, Melvin (eldest) and Marcia(youngest).

Marvin is a prole who was ordered to work as a drone due to the wars, therefore earning his uniform. He returned to being a prole after the wars. X-2 has and always will be a drone. Marcia will be a prole when she grows up, and Melvin won't have a proper role in Mars, as he decided to do what very few Martians do: go out on his own before being given his rank.

Marvin did not choose to keep K-9, he followed him into his spaceship when he was a pup. Marvin has been taking care of him since he was 457.

Melvin had requested immediately upon becoming 550 years old, that he be allowed on his own to explore, and Marvin was hesitant, but eventually agreed, IF! Melvin and him built the rocket he uses together, and Melvin would have never turned that down, after-all, he wanted to be just like his begetter so why would he not want to spend time with him? (I don't know anything about Melvin, I haven't seen loonatics unleashed)

Melvin joined Marvin to see who would be his cognate, and y’know, watch the process. He still feels he’s far too young to become an engender, despite being roughly the same age as his own, so he was content with watching the process and watching his heir, Marcia, and his progenitor, connect.

Marcia is very different from Melvin and Marvin, but they adore her either way. She doesn't care for needless destruction, but she does see the art in what Marvin does, and finds it entertaining to watch him and “Duck Dodgers” fight on the rare occasion. They are very funny, and she likes how Marvin shows off his weapons.

X-2 has ran into Marvin once. They stared at each other in confusion for a minute before carrying on their way, some martians look very, very similar, and it can be disorienting at first but you get over it.

Duck Dodgers often confuses Marvin and X-2, and the Martians don't really tell him their different because they don't know that he doesn't know. He figures it out one time when he's fighting X-2 and calls him Marvin.

Marcia loves earthlings and longs to study everything about them and their planet, she got this from reading Marvin's old notes on his findings on earth before seeking to explode it. She asks him to take her down there and show her the world, and he begrudgingly agrees. He doesn't like being on earth after the few bad things that happened the times he were on earth, but he'd do anything for his spawn.

Marcia often wears earthling clothes, and tries to play the games they took from earth but you can't really play baseball without gravity. Cards were more fun, though!

Marvin is called Antwerp by friends, and enemies trying to anger him.

You ever go insane late at night and create culture for martians in looney tunes? I'm n o t okay-

[phxntomhives]

Nice parallels between Negai no Astro and Tokyo Aliens

I mean, I have 1 person that has caused me to write this, say hi to @chifuyusun but these things ARE nice and maybe someone will start the other manga in the parallels so pls look at my ramblings.

Yes it's just the first chapter for Negai no Astro but I feel some of these are fair assumptions.

There is technically 1 spoiler for Tokyo Aliens but I'm confident it comes out quickly in the main story so I don't think it's a major thing to spoil.

Also I haven't looked at the spoilers for Negai no Astro so I could be very wrong but I would like to not know it from spoilers thanks

Yes I am aware these things are not exclusive of these two series, but it's still nice to see them.

Founded family (and golden retriever MC)

Negai no Astro: they are litteraly a bunch of children that the old man liked and he adopted them all. Hibaru cares deeply for them, he doesn't seem to consider the family being such only on paper, but he wants to protect them and be good for them (such a precious boy)

Tokyo aliens: well, here it is definitely not as in NnA ops. But Akira is desperate to feel the warmth of a family getting closer to the other characters which do seem to look out for him and care for him. No I don't mean Amamiya, he is excluded. But the others are going "well, must adopt him now". And don't get me started on poor Sho which is in a DESPERATE need for a hug and finally with Akira he finding his own peace and opening up more.

Hands for protection

I just find it fun that both our MC don't have a magical weapon or something similar for their battles (for now at least). Hibaru got his magical/super powered hands and immediately used them to protect his brother and help him. When Akira had to chose his battle weapon, he decided to go for gloves (see Father I miss you section).

Idk but there is something so... soft? Precious? In specifically power-upping (?) their hand to protect people? Usually you see people do it for violence, punching and breaking, but them?? They are using them for the others. Hibaru is more focused on attack for now, while Akira on defence but there is something beautiful in seeing them with their hands up ready to protect people.

Spear and Shield - covering for each other

I am a sucker for one thing that is separated in two and those two make the complete again together. They complete each other, backing up the other's weakness. SO OF COURSE I AM EATING GOOD WITH NEGAI NO ASTRE. Spear and shield??? Probably fighting together in the future having to rely on someone else? Sign me up. I need this aspect to be central and not forgotten pls Wakui I always believed in you.

And for Tokyo Aliens you may ask? You are adding to that beautiful trope also the emotional compensation between Akira and Sho. They cover for each other (probably will happen more in the future, poor Akira is still struggling) and well balance each other weak points. Sho is the spear and Akira is the shield (that quite litteraly saved lives, and it was very pretty). I can write an essay but it would have too many spoilers so I will stop now.

Father I miss you (and Mother is MIA I guess)

As the rules established: you can't have both parents. And ofc, why should you be able to keep the father with you??? Ofc they have to die. I am not confident for Tokyo Aliens but that is just me.

I would like to congratulate to the spirit of the fathers because they raised precious boys that love people. But I found interesting how in both cases, the one that gave Hibaru and Akira the strenght to make the correct decision was the memory of their fathers. They both wish to live up to them and make them proud.

In both cases you also have their power coming from an object related to the father (the keychain for Hibaru and the gloves for Akira) They are bringing their fathers to fight with them in a sense. Getting their strenght and their courage. They are precious boys and I am sobbing.

Anyway, I'm sure they are proud my boys. They could not be more proud of you.

Aliens??

I mean, in Tokyo Aliens there are aliens. Shocking, I know. A very interesting and refreshing take if I can add, since most of them are pretty chill. Negai no Astro has nothing confirmed yet, that I know, but I mean the magic thing that gave power has come from space, so I think we are more or less on the same line. Maybe it's a different planet or something. Idk. It doesn't seem to come from humans, that seem to be a correct take.

There are probably more but I think I made my points. If you like one serie I highly suggest you to give a try to the other!

[wigglywantshiswrath]

I have yet to actually thoroughly explain the Antichrist AU so I'm gonna get into it!

(warning, this'll be a LONGGG text post- so here's a TL;DR: Antichrist AU was made by me and my friend, the Lords each chose a human to basically kidnap and use to eventually bring the worsg apocalypse ever. Wiggly chose an orphan, Tinky chose a cousin of Ted and Pete, Pokey chose a mean girl, Blinky chose a part time twitch streamer part time theorist and Nibbly chose the roomate of the streamer, a stoner.)

The Antichrist AU is an au me and a friend made where the Lords In Black see that Webby speaks with Hannah a lot and they go "Hey! Let's do that ourselves!" but in their own fucked up way. They each chose a specific human to deem whats humans call "an Antichrist" (which the Lords think it's funny to call "Anti-webbys"). These Antichrists are assigned with the job of living with the Lords in The Black and White until one day they will be used to bring upon Hatchetfield's worst apocalypse yet. 

We'll start off with Mateo. Mateo is a 10 year old orphan who never had much. The old orphanage Hatchetfield somehow still managed to have never taught the children much of anything. Mateo still managed to grow up a kind and sweet kid, when one day while wandering around outside he found.. a wiggly doll. This was the day Wiggly chose him, as he was one of the only actual KIDS to love a wiggly doll. Not even a few nights later, Mateo dissapeared from the orphanage, and it was barely even noticed. Mateo doesn't mind though. He's simply happy to have a "mom" now! He calls Wiggly his mom, as Jenn has said he reminds her of the "wine mom" stereotype, and because of how Wiggly is... oddly parental to Mateo.

Next up is James. James spankoffski. James is the 16 year old cousin of the spankoffski bros, a cousin they barely knew of, as James' parents weren't.. the best. Infact, they were horrible. Horrible to the point James ran away to Pete and Ted's house they shared, as their parents weren't really.. living with them, leaving Ted to raise Pete. Whats one more child to add to the mix? They didn't have to take care of James for long either before he dissapeared. James was chosen by Tinky because James was rare.. his birth in a timeline was a rare event. Usually he either was never born or died at the hands of his parents or an accident. So an alive James was such a rare find for Tinky.. he couldn't just let him go. James is a very paranoid and anxious boy, scared of almost everything.. not a very good mix with Tinky, but they'll... be fine.

Then we get to Sabryna. Sabryna was observed by Pokey for a longggg time.. farrrrr before the Antichrist idea was given. Sabryna is a rich, rude 16 year old girl who puts her EVERYTHING into her school theater programs. She wants to be the best. She wants to do something to make her parents proud of her. Her parents.. barely ever cared for her. They gave her all she wanted only so then she would shut up and they could forget she existed. Sabryna.. wants them to know she exists. She does all she does and gets awards and becomes the star of every show put on so then her parents will acknowledge her. When taken by Pokey, Sabryna's parents barely even care to search for her. Sabryna has a new father now. A father who will be far more impressed with her theatrical work, and who will give her the attention she wanted.

Almost to the end of the list, we get to Karl. Karl a 19 year old who was once considered a nerd in Hatchetfield Highschool.. before he became burnt out, and accepted that. He's still a nerd, but now is a nerd who streams on Twitch part-time, and also uploads.. questionable theories onto youtube. He's a bit weird, writing down a lot of things he learns about people, and being scarily observant of small details. He shares a house with his bestfriend since childhood, Jenn, who occasionally appears on his streams. He was chosen to work for Blinky, and even though he is given an exact replica of he and Jenn's old room, access to his computer, youtube channel, and streaming stuff.. he isn't just accepting all this now. He's always writing down all info he can get about the Lords. Blinky may watch everything, but Karl is watching him.

and finally, we get to Jenn. Jenn is also 19 and was chosen by Nibbly for reasons that aren't exactly explained. Maybe it has to do with Nibbly's themeing for desire? Jenn is very provocative for her age, caused by something in her childhood she has never explained. Jenn lives with Karl, and lives mostly off of Karl's twitch stream donations. She doesn't need much in life, mostly just using the occasional money from Karl to buy more snacks or weed from Perky's Buds. She had connections to the owner, Emma Perkins, as she is who had taken in Jenn in her last few weeks of being 17, so then Jenn could finally be free from the fostercare system she had spent her whole life in. Maybe though Nibbly's reason for choosing her was just how she eats a lot of food from the hunger from usage of weed. Who knows? Def not Jenn.

And that's all of them!

Okay I lied there's 1 more

Darcy. A recently turned 18 year old who was chosen by Webby to try to help stop the Lords. Darcy felt.. special. She was able to be communicated with like Hannah is. Webby wanted to show herself to Darcy, and had told her to meet her in the woods so they could plan how to save everyone.. but when Darcy got to the woods early.. some illegal Nighthawk hunters didn't see her.. they tried to shoot a nighthawk and missed, instead shooting the girl they hadn't seen. She died almost instantly, and the hunters, not wanting to be arrested, ran off and told no one of what they had done. When Webby found the girl, she was terrified and distraught. She didn't want this to happen. This wasn't supposed to happen. Darcy, however, wasn't giving up. She managed to come back as a ghost, now with long white hair and web-like veins. She now still works with Webby, trying her best to help the Fosters and everyone else.. she wants the Antichrists to stay safe.. but oddly.. she feels as if she can help the Lords themselves. Foolish optimism if I do say so myself.. Webby can't look at Darcy for long without feeling guilty.. she hadn't meant for Darcy to die in all this.. but Darcy forgives her and doesn't mind. It's not like she had a family at home anyways.. her mother had died in childbirth and her father was a busy store owner that basically had forgotten he ever had a daughter years ago! He was under some kind of spell.

[siriusly-sapphic]

META: Trans Narcissa Malfoy

This is 7K words long and divided into 8 bullet points. It can also be found on AO3 through this link.

This is going to be an overview of my trans!Narcissa headcanon, with a look at queerness in the Black family/pureblood society as a whole, different family dynamics, and how growing up a trans kid in a society like this influences different headcanons/aspects of her character. Needless to say, this is based on my own headcanons and the very limited canon information we have about her (most of which does not inform us about her childhood and family relations as we’d like). It’s by no means meant as an argument as to why everyone should adopt this headcanon, it’s just informative and fun.

I have one reason for writing this and one reason only and it’s “I love this headcanon and want to be able to refer to it without spamming a whole explanation and additional headcanons into an unexpecting discord chat”. Plus, I want to write more headcanons about specifically my take on Narcissa, and for some of those headcanons it’d be very convenient to just be able to refer back to an existing post on how her being trans influences some things in the rest of her life.

How this will be structured:

First things first

1: A general look at how I think queerness is seen and treated in the Black family and by extension pureblood society.

2A: The Black family and the importance of sons and Heirs.

2B: Specifically Narcissa’s position.

3A: Getting to Narcissa’s specifics: a timeline on her realisation and coming out.

3B: Specifically, her parents’ and sisters’ reaction and her own fears.

4: Tying back to the Heirs, the reactions and attitudes of Narcissa’s cousins.

5:Narcissa’s plans for her future and openness about her being trans and queer. (Side tangent: Narcissa and the way she confirms to roles, not individuality.)

6A: Narcissa’s marriage and having a baby

6B: Raising Draco

7: How she chose her name.

8: Some fic recs to close it off

There'll be mentions of transphobia and miscarriage in this post!

Alright so let's get into it I’m so excited.

Firstly

The very simple reason why I love this headcanon. It’s entirely born from a conversation with a friend back in like 2014 on “but why doesn’t her name fit the rest of the cousins/most of her immediate family?” during which we looked at other fanon theories and then went “but what if…” and settled on this. There are obviously other theories, one of the most popular ones that I’ve seen being that Druella cheated and Narcissa is not a Black at all, hence Cygnus refused to give her a traditional name. Personally, I don’t like that as much, and I prefer to think of it as a name she chose herself.

Realistically, the author named Narcissa as a Malfoy and had not decided or simply forgotten that her maiden name would be Black. Narcissa as a character was very blatantly created as Draco’s mum and Lucius’ wife, and therefore she looks like that and not like a character born into the Black family. I don’t care. I’m giving her some fucking agency.

(Sidenote: I know that TODAY there is a star named Narcissus. It was named in 2014 which is well after Narcissa’s birth and the books’ release and it was named by a random person. This is not what Narcissa was named for.)

1: Queerness in the Black family (and pureblood society)

The way I see it, queerness in and of itself is not grounds for disownment within the family. Pureblood society functions best when everybody does what is expected of them, and is vaguely happy doing it. By no means does this mean that it’s celebrated or wholeheartedly accepted, but as long as it does not interfere with your willingness to fulfil your duties, who cares. If you’re insistent and dutiful, you can even change which role you’ll fulfil for your family, if the circumstances allow. At the same time, I imagine it’s a bit of a ‘don’t ask don’t tell’ situation, where privacy is greatly appreciated depending on the circumstances. Be gay, if you want to be, but do get married and don’t make a scandal.

How this interacts with different people in these families fully depends on what is expected and needed within a specific family. For example, a family like the Lestranges with two pureblood sons, wouldn’t have much of a problem if one of them was gay, as long as at least one of them got married and continued the family name. A family with only one son would be more strict about this, and most likely absolutely would expect their son to marry a witch regardless of his sexuality.

In the Black family specifically, this is complicated because the cousins cause enough trouble without involving queerness. If all of them believed in the blood politics and no one got disowned, Sirius being queer would not have been a huge deal. What I do believe caused problems is Sirius very happily and openly snogging halfblood wizards or blood traitors. If he’d bought into his family’s ideologies and Regulus had gotten married to a pureblood witch, and Sirius would’ve fallen for some wizard of the Sacred 28, arrangements could be made to make that work.

More specifically being trans, again, so highly depends on the circumstances. One of these is, again, simply the amount of other children willing and able to do as told. I will get into the importance of Heirs in a bit, but having at least one son per family is something most families strive for. In that regard, a trans son would be more likely to be happily received than a trans daughter, but again it depends on the circumstances. If a family has three children and two of them are cis wizards, the third being a trans witch would be far less of an issue than if (as in Narcissa’s case), the first two are also witches.

Obviously this is a far more complicated topic, but that’s the gist of it: it depends, but if you’re willing to do as told or you are lucky enough to have the siblings to ‘make up’, being queer is not the end of the world and can absolutely be accepted. Also, again obviously, I’m by no means saying that that’s a good and ideal way of treating queerness (or your children in general). I hope that’s clear.

2A: Sons and Heirs in the Black family

This is specifically about the importance of the name and of the Heir in the Black family, and how I imagine this would work for the two different branches we see in canon. (Orion and Walburga’s children, and Cygnus and Druella’s.)

Long story short: they’re important. Both Druella and Walburga would have entered their marriages knowing that the main thing expected of them is to not only have at least one son, but to raise that son into a proper Heir ready to continue the name and reputation of the Black family. In my head, this largely goes per branch of the family tree. Walburg having two sons does not mean that Druella should not have one, and if both had a son it would not matter as much who’s older. They’d both be raised as the respective Heirs of their fathers, and that’d be the most important role within that family.

For Sirius and Narcissa, in this case and following my basic timeline, this means that for the first fifteen years of Narcissa’s life, they were both viewed as the respective Heirs of their family. Regulus is Sirius’ ‘spare’, in that sense, in case Sirius fucks it up along the way (which, obviously, he does and we all love him for it), but that does not translate as much to giving Narcissa any leeway. Would it have been ‘worse’ if both her cousins were witches? Sure, absolutely, but having two male cousins does not mean her father doesn’t want his own Heir, too. Narcissa was supposed to be that, and clearly wasn’t.

2B: Narcissa’s own position in the family

In a way this builds very much on the semi-popular fanon that Narcissa, cis or trans, was supposed to be her father’s son. She’s the youngest of her sisters, and she’s the last child Druella has. She was Druella’s last chance of having the Heir her husband needed and fulfilling her duty towards the family she married into. I have seen headcanons where Narcissa is born a cis girl, immediately offsetting disappointment in her family because that’s not what was supposed to happen, and she suffers this perceived failure of her mother for much of her life.

If she’s trans, that’s not immediately what happens.

In this instance, Narcissa is born and she’s assumed to be the Heir her parents were waiting for. Her father’s Heir, his only son, her mother’s duty fulfilled and their absolute pride and joy. She would have been raised with the knowledge and understanding (and, I sincerely believe until she came to the realisation she’s a girl, full willingness) that she’d marry an appropriate pureblood witch and continue the family name, have her own Heirs, and do exactly as her family needed. After two older sisters, and as they grew older two rebellious older sisters (in different ways, but still), Narcissa was the golden child. Including as they got older compared to Sirius, she was the ‘better’ Heir.

Until she wasn’t.

I think this put Narcissa into a position where the role she had been raised and praised for her entire life, at one point becomes something that she can’t possibly live up to. Narcissa has always been raised for a very specific purpose, a purpose that I genuinely believe she would have wanted to fulfil if she thought she could, and then she comes to the realisation that she can’t. She knows her family. She knows what she needs to be, and she knows she can’t. Narcissa was the light of her family, the absolute golden child. She was that annoying brat that other parents pointed their children to in a “look at her, be more like her” manner. The example of what it meant to be a pureblood wizard’s Heir.

And that brings me to perhaps my favourite thing about her in this entire post.

She knew exactly what she was doing when she came out. She knew what she was risking, she knew what she was giving up, and she did it. More about that process in the next part, but that’s important. I don’t think there were many moments in Narcissa’s life where she chose something for herself without letting her family’s needs overshadow hers. Her coming out was exactly that. That was a choice she made knowing full well that it was one of the worst things she could do to her family, and I admire her for it.

That said:

3: The timeline, her realisation and coming out process

So in the briefest overview: the way I tend to write Narcissa, she realises that she’s trans somewhere in the beginning of her fourth year at Hogwarts, at 14. She comes out to her family (and with that, really, the rest of society) in the summer between fourth and fifth year, allowing her to start her fifth year as Narcissa.

That’s the timeline, roughly. But what matters here too, is how her cousins and sisters are doing. Frankly, Narcissa would’ve had an easier time transitioning if Sirius and Andromeda had stayed in their lanes (and she absolutely does carry some resentment about that towards them, however unfair this may be). For this I’m using mainly an alternate age gap between the Black cousins, not the canon one, but I’ll also make a brief note on how canon age gaps could work into this!

The way I most often write the Black cousins’ ages is as follows: when Narcissa is 15, Andromeda is 17/18, and Bellatrix is 19. Sirius is 14/15 and is only a few months younger than Narcissa, and Regulus is 13.

The most important thing about this is, for the sake of the timeline, this means that Sirius is already sorted and is already rebelling and is well on his way to getting disowned. He’s the family disappointment, only outdone by Andromeda who’s eloped with Ted at this point. Narcissa is the golden perfect child more than ever. And she’s realising she’s not.

This also means that her sister is already disowned. There are some rumours about Sirius potentially being disowned, too. Narcissa would be incredibly naive to the workings of her family if she went into coming out without acknowledging there was a possibility that she would be disowned. As I said, I don’t think that in pureblood society, being trans would necessarily immediately translate to being disowned, but in this particular case… That’s a very real possibility.

I think she knew that. I think she was willing to take that risk, and she was willing to suffer the consequences of being disowned. She knew it was a possibility, and she accepted that.

Between her realising she’s trans and her telling her family, there’s a period of time where I do think she genuinely tried to bargain with herself about it. Trying to see if she could make it work. If she could pretend, and keep pretending, and deny this about herself. And she decided she couldn’t, and it wasn’t worth it. Her choosing that her own well-being is more important than what her family needs from her is a rare decision on her part — it’s honestly not one she makes much more often.

Obviously, she did not get disowned. But that doesn’t change that she didn’t know that, and I want to give her credit for that.

If you want to follow a more canon timeline: the main big difference here is that Sirius would be a lot younger. By the time Narcissa comes out, he would not be rebelling yet, and while this places Regulus in a less vulnerable position at the time, it doesn’t necessarily change the pressure on Narcissa’s shoulder. Her father still would not have a replacement for his Heir.

3B: The family’s reactions to her coming out

So why is she not disowned?

My headcanon is basically that Druella wanted to disown her. Walburga perhaps even wanted to disown her. Cygnus considered it, very genuinely so, and then decided not to.

Again for this we look at the context: Andromeda has been disowned for eloping with a muggleborn wizard. Bellatrix is devoted to blood purity, but instead of being this obedient daughter to her family she’s following around Tom Riddle. In my head, Bella doesn’t get married very young and she’s quite rebellious in her own way in the sense that she wants a place in Voldemort’s circles and doesn’t really look for a husband immediately.

Narcissa has two sisters, one who’s disowned and one who has no intention of being the ideal daughter her parents would’ve preferred. Now, what their parents want is for Narcissa to remain their Heir, but Cygnus isn’t stupid either.

He’s in a position where whether he disowns Narcissa or not, his Heir is gone. Either he disowns her and she leaves the family and gets to live her life in peace, or he doesn’t disown her and she might not be his Heir anymore, but she’s still his devoted daughter. And Narcissa is devoted. She loves her family, she takes pride in her family, and her parents know that. Furious as they might be that she chooses herself over her family when she decides to transition, they’re not stupid and they know that she is devoted to the family reputation and whatever else she might do to help it.

So I think Cygnus decides not to disown her, with the deal that if she won’t be his Heir, she’ll be a damn perfect daughter. And Narcissa absolutely makes it her purpose in life to be just that. Cygnus’ reaction can be summed up as being disappointed, but willing to see what Narcissa can do for his family when she’s allowed to be herself. He’s not a great father, but that’s an alright moment. He does genuinely love his daughters, even if none of them end up quite what he’d expected or wanted from them, and between the three of them Narcissa remains his favourite.

Druella… I plan to write a whole separate post on Druella and Narcissa’s relationship. But Druella wants Narcissa to be disowned, and when Narcissa isn’t disowned, Druella does not forgive her. Druella became a mother because she was a wife and she had to give her husband sons. I think the way she sees it, it’s very simple: Narcissa was supposed to be the fulfilment of Druella’s duty, and instead she became the reason Druella ‘failed’. There is nothing Narcissa can do after coming out that is going to make Druella truly proud of her, truly happy to have her as a daughter. I don’t think that stops Narcissa from trying, but her mother very much sees her as a reflection of her personal failure, and she’s not getting back from that. Druella’s heinous, really.

Moving on to Narcissa’s sisters, Bellatrix and Andromeda: this ties back again to being trans or queer in general, is not as big a deal in most of the wizarding world as circumstances can make it. Andromeda is eloped by the time Narcissa comes out, or she’s in the process of running away, and I imagine the biggest feeling she has about it is concern regarding their parents’ reaction. She loves her little sister, though, and if anything she’s disappointed that Narcissa chooses to stay within the family when given the chance instead of just leaving. Bellatrix is a little more complicated, but ultimately positive.

For Bellatrix, I think her feelings are split between this strong protectiveness over her little sister, which is also fuelled by Andromeda having just left and Bellatrix is furious with her and really determined to not lose another one of her sisters. Where Andromeda is disappointed that Narcissa stays, Bellatrix celebrates it. On the other hand, she’s kind of jealous in a way, and that pisses her off. I think between Bellatrix and Narcissa, Bellatrix has always been the oldest and Narcissa has always been the most important. Bellatrix, in a way, would love to have what Narcissa was born into. That importance to the family, that position of power that Narcissa’s grown up in, being the favourite without even really trying. Narcissa was the one her parents had waited for, Bellatrix was ‘just’ the oldest daughter who had to prove herself.

And obviously, it’s not that simple, and it was hell for Narcissa in a different way, but from Bella’s perspective… I can see her being a little pissed off that Narcissa, out of all people, is stepping back from that role that she used to take such pride in and that the family has always prided her on. Ultimately though, Bellatrix also isn’t stupid and she can damn well see that Narcissa is going through it and needs her big sister, and I do genuinely believe that Bellatrix loved her sisters very deeply. It’s the two of them against the world, in a way, and they have each other’s back.

4: Heirs and cousins

Okay so tying back to the importance of Heirs in this godforsaken family. Sirius and Regulus’ reactions to Narcissa’s coming out are painful in two opposing ways. Here it becomes important, too, that Sirius and Narcissa in my headcanons are quite close in age.

Sirius and Narcissa grow up close together as the Heirs to their fathers. That’s such a particular kind of pressure and strain onto a young child that only the two of them really understand. Even compared to other pureblood families, not all of them are quite as uptight and strict. They found a lot of understanding in each other for those first 14 years. Regulus is Sirius’ ’spare’, in a way, and is not raised with quite that same pressure (yet).

The interesting thing here is (and one day I’ll do an entire post on just Sirius and Narcissa bc I love their dynamic) that both Sirius and Narcissa, as they get a little older and enter their teens, stop wanting to be the Heirs to their family. For the different reasons, obviously, but that still happens. Both become, in a way, disillusioned with these ideas that they’ve been raised with all their lives. Both of them, for different reasons and perhaps without expressing this to each other initially, want out.

Because both of them in a relatively short timeframe make it clear that they don’t intend to be these perfect Heirs they were supposed to be for much longer, Regulus gets put in an extremely difficult position. I do think that both Sirius and Narcissa feel a degree of guilt towards him, for that reason, even if they know there wasn’t really another way to make it work. From Regulus’ perspective though… I think he loves Narcissa, and he looks up to her, but for the first while after she comes out, he feels betrayed. He feels like she’s just made his life more difficult for a selfish reason, something he was already starting to feel about Sirius, and he doesn’t respond very well. He gets over that, with time (I think Sirius being officially disowned brings Regulus and Narcissa much closer, as they’ve both experienced that kind of ‘betrayal’ from a sibling. Yeah, seeing your siblings and cousins making choices that benefit them but make your impossible duties harder to fulfill is more often seen as betrayal by these kids then not, apparently).

Sirius, ironically, feels betrayed too.

As I said earlier, I think a lot of what pureblood kids are and aren’t allowed to get away with highly depends on what their siblings and cousins are doing in the meantime. For Sirius, this kinda means that when Narcissa comesout he knows that him running away is going to make things harder for Regulus than they would already have been. That complicates his feelings, but I think Sirius’ main feeling of betrayal actually comes from Narcissa not leaving the family.

I think that when Sirius and Narcissa both came to the conclusion that they didn’t want to be the Heirs of their family anymore, Sirius got a little hopeful. I genuinely think that for a short while there, his plans involved Narcissa being disowned and him being disowned too and the two of them who are already so close being able to make a better life for themselves away from the family that he’s grown to hate. Sirius doesn’t anticipate that Narcissa doesn’t want that. For Narcissa, disownment is a risk she’s willing to accept the consequences of, but when she’s not disowned she’s grateful and she’s happy and she refuses to entertain the idea of voluntarily leaving the family behind.

For that, Sirius feels betrayed. Regulus wants Narcissa to never have come out at all (for a little while), Sirius wants her to go all the way and truly rebel. Narcissa’s stuck in the middle where she always feels safest, and everyone’s left disappointed.

I promise things get a little happier.

5: Narcisssa’s plans moving forward

Looking at the course of her life, I think it’s safe to say that for Narcissa’s genuine happiness and well-being it would’ve been best, actually, if she’d been disowned at fifteen. If she had been forced out of the family, forced to find a different way of living outside of this restrictive family that demanded too much of her, she’d have been better off. But that’s not what happened.

Narcissa isn’t disowned, and to her that’s the best news she could’ve gotten. What this means, however, is that she’s now in a position where the reason she was allowed to stay a part of the Blackfamily, is because there was a chance she could be the perfect daughter neither of her sisters were. She takes that to heart, far too willingly, and it affects almost everything she does moving forward. To Narcissa, in some tragic way of thinking, she owes her family that much. She owes them perfection, because she failed the first time around and her father ‘forgave’ her. Moving forward, a lot of her motivation becomes “making her family proud” which can in a way be translated to “don’t make them regret this decision”. 

And it’s very simple, really: all she has to be is perfect. Narcissa is someone who understands what is expected of her very very well, and for the most part what is expected of her corresponds with what she wants. She knows the rules of pureblood society, and I think from her perspective the most straightforward way of keeping herself safe and protected is by simply following these rules to a tee. She doesn’t push her luck, she keeps her head relatively down and does as told when it matters.

She’s one of those women who genuinely looks forward to marrying a rich man for his last name and have two picture perfect sons for him. While I think she’s a romantic at heart, I also think she’s ultimately realistic and she’s okay with not getting a fairytale marriage if that’s what her family needs. Narcissa takes so much pride in the Black family name, and honestly I think she’s aware that it’s partly that name that means that no one else in pureblood society would dare question her regarding her coming out or her transition. Whether that’s true or not (it entirely depends on other world building, obviously), she’s absolutely grateful for the protection offered by the Black name. Even if her parents are less than pleased about it, even if her mother wants her disowned, as long as she’s not, her mere association with the Black family offers security and a place in society that she otherwise easily could have lost.

In her eyes, the path forward is clear. Be Cygnus’ perfect daughter, become some pureblood wizard’s perfect wife, and raise his perfect children. It’s easy, it’s something she wants, and it’s something she’s genuinely good at. Narcissa understands society, she plays the game very well, and she has a good time playing.

The caveat here is that I do think this comes with the consequence of Narcissa genuinely not having much of an identity beyond the way she exists to other people. This is again something I want to make a separate post on, but for now: Narcissa has been raised to fulfill a purpose, not as a child and a person in her own right. When she transitioned, she didn’t necessarily seek out individuality, either. She sought to change the purpose she fulfilled in her family, and quite frankly being her own person with individual needs and desires was not high on her list of priorities.

Narcissa was raised the Black Heir, and it takes her a really long time to stop identifying herself as much more beyond Cygnus Black’s Daughter or Mrs. Lucius Malfoy, or even simply Draco Malfoy’s mother. Following a canon timeline, I don’t think it’s unrealistic for her to not truly let herself be just Narcissa until the Second War is over. Even when she perceives herself to make a genuinely selfish decision in pushing forward with her transition despite her family’s wishes, she does it in such a way that still does not allow for genuine personal freedom on her part. That’s just not what she seeks out — and it takes her a long time to realise that that’s even something she needs. (That said, fics and headcanons that push her to realise this much sooner are my absolute favourite).

Throughout the rest of her life, she kind of exists in this space between being out and being open about being trans (and being queer in general, I also headcanon her as being bisexual). For obvious reasons, most everyone in the wizarding world who reads Witch Weekly and keeps up a little bit with pureblood society knows that Narcissa’s come out. It’s genuinely big news for the infamous Black Heir to transition. That’s a thing. Narcissa doesn’t mind that that much, it’s something she expected but it’s also the reason she is genuinely very grateful that her family has her back in the eyes of the public.

But after the initial wave of shock and curiosity, when she’s married and she’s on her way of having a baby… she doesn’t mind just never bringing it up again. Narcissa never treats being trans as a secret, and it’s absolutely not something she’s ever ashamed about, but she’s not the kind of person who gets involved in activism or longs to be a spokes person for the trans community. You’ll never see her at a pride parade. It’s honestly a shame, and I think it could do her well to find genuine pride (and not arrogance), but that’s not who she is.

I imagine for Narcissa, it almost feels like her transition is a very specific chapter in her life that happened, that’s past, that she feels no shame about whatsoever, but she sees no reason to revisit it. Most people of Harry’s generation that aren’t purebloods won’t even know, and she doesn’t care if they do (if asked, for whatever reason, she sees no point in hiding. She’s not closeted in any way. She simply passes well and has no desire to bring up the past.)

6: Narcissa’s marriage and having Draco

First things first, the first “but actually” comment I always get if I mention trans!Narcissa is “but she has a child” and quite frankly, fuck that. This is a world with magic and the magic in HP has shitty rules that allow for near anything to be possible. This is also a fandom that loves to write cis teen boys accidentally knocking each other up and if you can make that look plausible in your worldbuilding, a trans woman with the resources and privilege Narcissa has, can damn well make it happen.

That said: her family. This will be a little shorter, because there are so many different interpretations of lucissa and I love so many of them but most of them are pretty similarly influenced by Narcissa being trans, honestly, unless you choose to headcanon Lucius as transphobic which personally, I just don’t want to. (My favourite description of Lucius comes from @nymphadoratonqs's portrayal of him in the sense of him being equally misogynistic towards cis and trans women lmao, but that still doesn’t apply to all lucissa ideas).

Regardless of whether Lucius and Narcissa have this epic love story or if it’s a cold and loveless arranged marriage, Narcissa would’ve married him blindly when her family wanted her to. It’s honestly that simple. To her, Lucius doesn’t have to be Prince Charming, even though she’ll love to be convinced he is. Lucius is simply a part of the duties she has towards her family, and the marriage between them is something she wants not necessarily for love but for the status and protection it provides her with and the good it does for her family’s reputation. I tend to headcanon that Narcissa married Lucius before Bellatrix married Rodolphus, so it was pretty important for her to get married quickly and get married well.

Her marriage to Lucius is in this way simply the next step in what I described in point 5: it’s what she has to do, and it’s something she’s willing to do. She likes being a wife, she genuinely does, and sad as it is, Lucius’ behaviour or care for her does not immediately change that. Whether they are madly in love before they get married, or he doesn’t bother to ask her how her day was for the entirety of the marriage.. She wants to be his wife, and she prides herself on the name Mrs. Lucius Malfoy as much as she prided herself on the name Narcissa Black.

Regarding Draco, Narcissa wants to be a mother. I think she found it quite hard in the first years, and her difficult relationship with her own mother didn’t help in the slightest, but she wants motherhood. It’s a pretty common fanon idea that Lucius and Narcissa struggled to conceive and/or suffered from miscarriages before having Draco, and that’s always been a headcanon I’ve adopted myself too.

Miscarriages happen, that’s just a tragically common fact of nature. Fertility struggles happen. These things are more common than people often acknowledge, and I don’t think the wizarding world is very different, I’d certainly ague that pureblood society is terrible about it. A pureblood witch’s most important duty is to provide her husband with sons and continue that precious bloodline. When Narcissa struggles to get pregnant, and when she loses a pregnancy, she’s both devastated and deeply humiliated.

Obviously it’s not true, but it feels like there is this one thing that she wants and that she also must do, that is expected of her, and is almost something that she feels like should ‘prove’ that she was right to think herself capable of being this perfect wife and daughter. And she fails. There are very few things that she’s quite as private about as her struggles with pregnancy. Up until the moment she’s far enough along with Draco that it feels relatively safe, she insists to anyone who asks that she and Lucius are purposefully waiting until the war settles down to have children. She absolutely refuses to admit to anyone, with perhaps the exception of one or two genuinely close friends, that anything else is happening.

And then there’s Draco.

6B: Raising her son

Draco as we see him in canon is a spoiled brat, a bigoted child, and just a general asshole. Love him or hate him, he takes after his parents and he needs some fucking work. Narcissa loves him more than she’s ever loved anything or anyone.

There’s a lot more to be said about Narcissa and Draco’s relationship, also in relation to Narcissa’s own parents and the war and it’s all so interesting, but for this particular post I’m focusing on the way Narcissa chooses to raise her son, the Malfoy Heir, after her own experiences being her father’s Heir and the pressure and the disappointment of letting him down. Narcissa knows what’s expected of her in regards to raising Draco, and she knows what will be expected of him, but there’s a line.

As I mentioned earlier, while Narcissa never bothers going through effort of hiding being trans, it’s not something she brings up herself and she prefers to live her life without giving people any potential reasons to criticise her. The exception is Draco. She ensures that from a young age, he knows she’s queer, and most important that he knows that should he ever realise he’s queer himself, she’ll understand and she’ll love him. She never wants him to feel quite as trapped in his position in the Malfoy family as she did, and she never wants him to struggle between the decision of potentially being disowned and living a life he can be genuinely happy in. Obviously, in the grand scheme of the war, none of this really ends up mattering, but that’s a very conscious choice she makes when raising Draco.

There are a lot of mistakes she (and Lucius) make when raising their son. Draco’s spoiled rotten, he’s never been told no, and then he’s put in this extremely dangerous situation as a result of his parents’ choices and mistakes. Narcissa, devoted of a mother as she is, fucks up. But she does this right. She really does. There is nothing Draco can do that would make her even consider turning her back on him, and he knows that.

7: Choosing her name

This is both where this headcanon originated and my favourite little tidbit about Narcissa’s character. I strongly believe that her deadname did fit the Black family tradition of stars and constellations and all that fun space stuff. I’ve also said that I very much believe that Narcissa was overjoyed to be able to remain a part of her family, and that she did genuinely strive to be the perfect daughter for her parents.

So why did she choose a name that did not reflect the tradition of the family she loves so dearly?

Long story short: it’s a small reminder, every day, that she did choose herself.

I think she picked the name Narcissa before she came out to her parents, before she knew if she was going to be disowned or not but at a point where she did know that she wasn’t going to be held back by the fear of disownment. She purposefully chose something that had nothing to do with her family because she had to be able to remind herself that as much as she wanted their approval, she didn’t need it. (Of course, as she grows up she does a whole lot more with the explicit purpose of gaining their approval, but Narcissa is nothing if not a very contradictory woman).

The name Narcissa comes from Greek Mythology, and it’s my personal headcanon that especially when she’s younger, she’s quite the little nerd about Greek Mythology. She read the myths in Ancient Greek and all that, and she’s honestly so pretentious about it. (Additionally: Uncle Alphard gave her her first book on mythology as a young child and she’s held onto it ever since). Narcissus is a figure who is so beautiful that just about everyone who meets him falls in love at first sight, and he’s so arrogant that people kill themselves from how cruelly he rejects them. (Literally. There’s one guy who declares his love and says he’ll die without Narcissus’ affection, and Narcissus sends him a dagger in response.) Eventually, cursed by Aphrodite for the way he treated a nymph called Echo, Narcissus falls in love with his own reflection in the water. He withered away, so heartbroken that he could never love himself, until he was transformed into a daffodil.

I think it’s one of Narcissa’s favourite myths for a long time, and when choosing a name it feels almost obvious. Part of her simply genuinely wants to be that beautiful. She wants to be able to look in the mirror and all but fall in love with herself. And she certainly succeeds.

It’s also simply a quiet act of rebellion that no one but her own family would even notice. No one else would actually realise that technically Narcissa isn’t derived from a star, it sounds every bit as pretentious as all the other names. It’s very clever in that way. Only her parents will ever really know just how willing she was to step away from the family for her own sake, until she didn’t have to.

8: A couple of fic recs and ideas

I’ll say there aren’t a lot of works where Narcissa’s explicitly written as trans (there are 23 works in the “trans narcissa black malfoy” tag, and a lot of them are from ships I’m personally not interested in reading). I’ve listed a handful of fics, and a few ideas for stories that I would love to read or write one day.

Excellence by SiriuslySapphic

Yeah yeah I’m starting with a self rec. I’ll also say that though not every Narcissa fic on my page actually goes into detail of Narcissa being trans, all but one WIP is written with trans!narcissa in mind bc that’s just the way I write Narcissa.

Excellence is a Dorcas/Narcissa WIP that starts in fifth year (after the summer that she comes out) and will follow them throughout the first war. It’s about the two of them figuring out who to be in pureblood society, how the war divides everyone, and queerness in the wizarding world with a healthy dose of magical theory later on. It’s not canon compliant (Dorcas doesn’t die), and will be angsty with a happy ending.

A Most Uxorious Tale by TheWakeless

Ux-o-ri-ous def. having or showing an excessive or submissive fondness for one's wife.

This is 40K words of Lucius/Narcissa with the vibes of Morticia and Gomez Addams. It’s mainly canon compliant with a happy ending and it deals with Narcissa’s transition, her childhood, a lot of dark magic and gaining the Dark Lord’s approval. It’s a detailed look at how queerness exists in the wizarding world, and what it’s like to transition within pureblood society.

Two-way Mirror by Lightinthehallway

So I mentioned just how interesting Sirius and Narcissa’s relationship is freaking interesting and her being trans only increases that complicated dynamic. This fic looks at exactly that, except they’re both trans and it’s a whole thing and there’s pain and betrayal and trust, and I love it. Andromeda’s reaction in this really hurt me, but I also kinda like that complicated take on their relationship. This is also a fascinating look at how coming out goes differently in both branches of the Black family, and how it interacts with existing family dynamics!

And some ideas: I think it’d be so interesting to write about Narcissa a little bit later in life, perhaps while Draco and his friends are growing up. Fics with conversations between Narcissa and Draco, maybe, or him coming out to her later in life?? I also love the the trans!pansy headcanon, and I’d honestly love to see fics or hcs where Narcissa is this kind of role model to younger pureblood kids and just?? Please?

I also really love the idea of Narcissa after the second war getting the chance to live a life for herself, in a world where pureblood society and last names matter a little less than she was used to growing up. Narcissa being able to figure out who she is beyond last names and titles, as long as it may take? (This works beautifully in combination with a lot of different post war ships, too! A current favourite of mine is Remus/Narcissa healing after the war).

(I’m obsessed with Narcissa learning the beauty of individuality and personhood) so another idea is literally any AU that lets her get out of the Black family as it works. Narcissa who gets disowned when she comes out, is devastated, and in the long run finds she’s better for it. Narcissa who runs away willingly when Sirius does, or who ends up on Andromeda’s doorstep shortly after Hogwarts because she’s come to the realisation that she matters as more than a Role.

Conclusion / TLDR

The basics of everything I just said (it’s a grand total of 7K words) can be summarised as “Trans!narcissa comes out at about 15 in a family that values the contribution children make to the family reputation over absolutely everything else. She’s not disowned because her father decides to let her prove herself worthy of carrying the Black name after all, and she genuinely wants to make it her life purpose to basically not let him down. She struggles a lot with the concept of being an individual and does not see this as a problem, but she raises Draco with an insane amount of spoiling and a genuinely healthy dose of you are loved and will never have to fear being thrown out over something you can’t help. Her name is its own little form of rebellion that no one but her parents really notice and it also shows off that she’s a tiny little nerd at heart.”

Otherwise, I don’t really know how to end meta posts like these so…? That was that? I hope this was an interesting read. If anyone has any like questions or recs or just thoughts my inbox is open lmao I love to waste time talking about Narcissa Malfoy.

[writingquestionsanswered]

Daughter Terrified of King Father

Anonymous asked: I'm planning renaissance story where a king takes an infant as his ward/hostage because her father was believed to be a rebel leader and the king wanted to control him and extract information out of him. A few days after he was executed, it was found he was not a traitor but framed by his enemies. The king and queen loved the child and raised her like their own. She was close with both of them, but years later when she finds out the truth, she is devastated and scared of her dad/the king. He loves his daughter very much and feels bad to see her devastated. He tries to console her and apologize but she keeps crying and is terrified of him. What could he do to console her and reassure her, take the fear from her mind, and lessen her emotional pain?

[Ask edited for length]

You have the beginnings of something interesting here, but it doesn't quite work as-is for a number of reasons, and I want to get to those before we get to your specific question.

First and foremost, I'm struggling the the basis of the wardship. While taking someone's child as a ward can be an effective means to control them, it's probably not a great way to get information out of them unless the king said, "tell us what we want to know and you get your child back," which is a straight up hostage and not a ward at all. However, this falls apart a bit when the goal is execution, because the father is never going to see his infant again anyway. Also: where is the infant's mother, and why did the king and queen still keep her even after the execution? Are they punishing the mom for the father's apparent rebellion? (We'll circle back around to this in a bit...)

My next concern is I'm not sure why learning "the truth" would make the girl terrified of her father/the king. Executing traitors was a normal part of what monarchies did back then, and the girl would have known this. In fact, if she was raised as part of the royal family, she would likely attend important executions with her family once she was older. It would certainly be shocking to learn that her biological father was executed for treason and was found innocent a few days later--and she could be hurt and angry that this truth wasn't shared with her sooner--but it shouldn't strike fear into her heart. It's not as though her father/the king intentionally murdered an innocent man in cold blood. By executing a traitor, he was doing his duty to protect the kingdom--it wasn't his fault he had bad information. Even if that bad information was the result of negligence on his part, that still shouldn't terrify his adoptive daughter. Disappoint and anger her, yes. Terrify, no.

So, I don't personally feel that "terror" is the right thing to go for here. I think you'd want to concentrate more on the hurt of not being told the truth. Even though she has no connection to her birth parents outside of genetics--and would certainly have no memories of them--people like to know their roots, and she could feel quite betrayed learning that she's not actually of royal blood and that her father was executed for treason. The wrongful part would sting a little bit as well, even though she would hopefully understand that wasn't the king's fault. And then I think learning that there is or was a bio mom out there would sting, too, especially if she has since died and not being told about her sooner robbed the daughter of the chance to get to know her.

I think in this case, the king would console his daughter by explaining the circumstances of what happened. What he believed was true about her father--the reasons why he was believed to be dangerous and needed to be stopped. As well as the fact that he had been framed by his enemies, so the crown believed he was truly guilty of being a rebel leader. He might also try to explain why they chose to keep this information from her why they kept her instead of giving her back to the bio mom (there would need to be a really good reason), and then he might say some things to drive home how much he and the queen genuinely love her and have always seen her as their true daughter.

I hope that helps!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

LEARN MORE about WQA

SEE MY ask policies

VISIT MY Master List of Top Posts

COFFEE & FEEDBACK COMMISSIONS ko-fi.com/wqa

[lesbeamofsunshine]

honestly I think it might be some kind of trauma response because the worst times this has ever happened have been in relation to my mormon upbringing* aka during interactions with mormons years after I left the church

i have this embarrassing tendency to laugh in awkward situations. the more awkward the situation the harder I laugh. and, well, today. I'm gonna be honest, that's about the hardest I've ever laughed. and I couldn't stop; it became like a reflex, like the hiccups. so uh. yeah.

[thenatashapulleyuniverse]

Jem Castlereagh and Being the "Other"

The other night, I got into a discussion about Joe's racial and queer identity, and how these two things must have brought on a sense of guilt when he used to be Jem. It was such a fascinating topic to discuss that I want to share it here.

Joe is a white-passing biracial man. His mother is white, his father is Chinese. I want to specifically talk about Jem, since in that life, Jem was able to rise up to a high position with substantial power: The House of Lords.

On the topic of racial identity, Jem chose to be like other racialized white men, which in turn might have caused him to develop identity issues and guilt along the way. It's only speculation on our part whether or not he was gently persuaded/pushed/forced into this role, but this type of action brings about a sense of betrayal. He felt like he was betraying everything his family stood for.

Let's say his mother really did choose to go ahead and elope with a Chinese man. Jem's family history in of itself is already a betrayal to the fundamental order of things. His parents being a mixed race couple in the 19th century raising two sons, it couldn't have been easy for them. Toby (I don't think Jem mentioned an older brother but let's say Toby is also consistent with every Joe in every timeline) isn't white passing, so we can assume he's had his hardship of discrimination. So Jem knowing that he's "other" and that his family is "other", chooses to masquerade as a person who looks and sounds and fits right in with the group of people who would hurt his mother and father and brother for less than nothing just because they're a family. His family must be proud of him for being able to get opportunites they never would, but Jem carries that guilt because he knows he has to abandon his culture, his race, and inevitably his family just so that he can keep them all safe (him included). Jem choosing to use his mother's maiden name too is fact of this. Throwing away your true family name to fit in/to become somebody new is a reoccuring theme within the Kingdoms---Kite does it to appease to the English Navy, Agatha does it because she doesn't want to be connected to Lawrence anymore.

On top of that, he's a queer man. It's evident that he has a fondness for Madeline, but at the core of it, it wasn't a satisfying marriage because he's still playing the role of a heterosexual man to fit in. His queer identity basically ties in with what I'm saying about him betraying his family. I can't really imagine them being, you know, acceptable of gay people given they are a product of their time. At least with Jem's racial identity, he isn't alone. He has his brother. He has his father. He has a support system when it comes to being a racial minority. But being queer goes even deeper than that, because he's alone with all of that. You don't go to the asylum for being half-Chinese, but you can for being gay. Can you imagine how deep he must have suppressed that when he marries Madeline? How utterly alone? That is, until he meets Kite, another deeply repressed gay man. In his head, Jem must have had his reservations. His guilt, this time, is not only directed towards his mother and father and brother, but as well as to his wife and son. On paper, he's the ideal Englishman and they have given him everything to hold up that ideal. Yet the minute he finds somebody who understands what it means to be "other", he throws away everything his family had given him and goes with Kite to be "other" with him. My explanation here makes Jem wanting to go back home and be with his son even more symbolic and even sadder, because once he has thrown away everything to be the "other" there was never a world where he could have gone back unscathed, where he could have had his son and Kite too. So he loses everything when the timeline shifts. I think he knew that too, somewhere deep, deep inside, and so we can't even begin to fathom how deep his guilt goes regarding his racial and queer identity.

Of course, all of this is still speculation and we know nothing about Jem, Jem's family, and Madeline except from Kite's POV and the letters. However, all of this places even more importance on just how essential Kite is to Joe/Jem's person. He was willing to share his real name with Kite, willing to reveal his biracial heritage to him (I can't imagine that he shared that information with Madeline or his son Edward in his rise to power). At the intersection of Joe's character, between his race and his queerness, is just a man who wants to keep everybody he loves safe---whether that means having to hide who he really is, or joining the side of the "other" despite everything.

[aikoiya]

LoZ: TotK - Discussing Zelda Hate

I'mma level with ya'll. I've seen some really dumb takes regarding Zelda hate.

People be complaining & getting so vitriolic about how the house that Link bought last game is now being called "Zelda's house" by the Hateno residents in TotK & dude...

First off, Zelda herself never says that it's "her house," that's all the Hateno residents except in a journal in the English version. And even then, in the original Japanese, she says "the house." (And I'm convinced that the English writers only did that to prevent shipping.) So, why aim all that hate at Zelda? Besides, where do these jerks expect her to live with the castle in such a state of disrepair?

Second of all, Link & Zelda are living together. At least, that's what's implied.

For one, the fact that Zelda needed a secret room means that someone else was living in the house with her or, at the very least, was there frequently enough that she felt she needed her own space. Even in the English version, she comments that Link is "always at her side..." There's also the fact that when Symin sees Link again, his reaction is "you're back." As though Link lived there & had returned home. This plus the fact that Link seemingly gets to vote in Hateno's mayoral election implies that he's a resident of the town.

I also read somewhere that Nintendo was going to put a double bed in the Hateno House, but changed it when parents got all up in arms over it. (Though, this one is just a rumor.)

Even Zelda's va says they're in a relationship. Which, I know, that's just 1 va & thus doesn't confirm anything. But it does lend credence to the idea.

I get it, this is all just implications. But the thing is, Nintendo can really only imply relationships with the main character to begin with.

It's why Mareach still isn't a thing, but Ludaisy is somewhat canon, at least in the Mario Party games based off their team-up names. Because Luigi & Daisy aren't the focus characters & thus have more freedom.

The same can be said for Zelink.

What I don't understand is why people are so against the idea of Zelink being possibly canon. Like, Zelink being canon wouldn't stop you from being able to headcanon & ship something else!

And I can't help but think that Link has to stay single in the games so that manic shippers don't get butthurt. Which sucks!

And, honestly, even if they weren't together, you really think that Zelda would be the sort of person to just move into the man's house, take it over, & kick him out?? She's likely been raised on etiquette & manners & taking a man's house is very much not princess behavior. And, no, you shouldn't just hate her completely based on how she acted towards Link at the beginning of BotW's flashbacks. Things change. Very specifically, her views on Link changed. She's not a bitch to him anymore, so please, stop pretending that she's the same as she was then.

It's more likely that Link gave the house to her. Which, I still don't believe, but it's the more likely option when compared to Zelda just outright being a house theif.

Edit: I was recently told that Zelda refers to the house in Hateno as "her house," but then learned that this was only in the English version. In Japanese, she calls it "the house" & not "my house." And her very last line at the end of the game in both versions are along the lines of "Link, I'm home."

So, while not a confirmation, it certainly doesn't debunk it.

---

The big thing is, if they didn't want there to be any shippy implications then it would've been pathetically easy to just give her a different house & be done with it.

Instead, they chose to very specifically make it known that Zelda specifically lives in the exact same house that Link canonically buys in the last game & helps build up with his own rupees & resources.

Then, they specifically, make it canon that Link got Hudson & Rhondson together & helped build Terry Town, which is specifically something you cannot do unless you purchase the Hateno House!

They also specify that Link is "always by Zelda's side." That the house has 2 place settings but only 1 bed.

Then, at Terry Town, Link is able to purchase a Dreamhouse, which is specifically advertised to be for families. And the dining table specifically has 4 place settings. Which suggests some things.

And whenever someone asks if Link has someone he loves, his reaction is one of bashfulness! Or to confirm!

They knew what they were doing. They chose to make it look this way. It was intentional.

Let's face it, they're common law married, ya'll.

Link's lowkey King of Hyrule & nobody knows it, which is hilarious!

LoZ Wild Masterlist

[pacific-rimbaud]

Thank you SO MUCH for your panville works. I find it therapeutic to read the caring and deeply loving dynamic you embed in them. Also love how you deal with Pansy's background and trauma. While she is by no means unprivileged, I think her wounds resonate deeply with anyone for whom parental love was unstable in childhood. Your writing inspires me so much. I hope you know the positive impact you have on fellow internet strangers. Fr I've reread a dress with pockets more times I care to admit and RoT is on its 3rd re read because it helps me deal with shitty days.

I have two questions regarding your own visualization of the characters in RoT that may fall out of the scope of the actual story (I imagine you might not delve into these too much even if you do have an idea of them in your head)

1. Do you imagine Pansy's mother's own trauma too, when you write? Like what are the wounds that made her such a cold/unloving parent to Pansy?

Ive been thinking of it as being classic objectification of pureblood women for future marriage. Like Pansy's mother never wanted to have a child but was forced to because she's a woman and that's her duty. Would you agree with this or is she a much more sinister character?

2. In what concrete ways would you say Pansy's strengths complemented Neville's weaknesses when they began dating? We see their relationship in a super specific context where they are in their late 20s but Pansy's growth got somewhat reverted to her teenage/younger years (so it makes complete sense we see her mostly being taken care of by Neville!!). But I ask because Harry's witty response to Pansy regarding Neville "deserving what he wants" made me feel a bit sad.

Like I get that Neville's a lot more emotionally sound than she is, but I guess it made me think about whether Pansy's life is "earned" beyond her trying to be better just for Neville's sake.

I imagine her fierce protectiveness of those she loves and her ability to set boundaries without taking people's shit must have been very attractive to a younger Neville?

Sorry if this question is too obvious. I think it hits close. I relate with Pansy's trauma and waking up one day as Neville's wife would indeed feel like heaven (thank you again Harry!). But I could not imagine being able to correspond to a love like that in ways that society traditionally categorizes as love.

Much love. Thank you again for sharing your beautiful brain with us xx

Thank you so much for reading! Truly so appreciative that anyone takes the time to follow a novel-length rare pair fic.

Answers under the cut!

Pansy's mother did not want kids. Full stop. Her father was indifferent to the idea, but definitely didn't want to marry Pansy's mother. My headcanon is that Pansy's mother had an ill-advised fling with Pansy's entitled rake of a father as a young woman, became pregnant, and was compelled to enter into a miserable, lonely marriage and raise a child she had absolutely no affection for. Pansy's father was interested when he chose to be, which wasn't often. Nonexistent or unreliable attachment all around. And so it's clear, this characterization isn't an excuse or attempted explanation for Pansy's cruelty as a child. I've known many casually cruel children over the years. It's not at all unusual. Heartbreaking and yet garden variety example: a few socioeconomically privileged kids in my son's class recently approached another group of children, some of whom have serious challenges at home, and told them that their mothers didn't love them as much as their mothers. Kids can be mind-bogglingly vicious people, even with the "right" parenting. They're kids! Their brains aren't fully cooked yet. Moving the empathy needle and fostering healthy culture in a school requires skillful adult intervention, which obviously was not happening at Hogwarts. Pansy's upbringing in this story is an explanation for why she struggles to be vulnerable, why she's so deeply haunted by a history of feeling unlovable, and why the prospect of motherhood in general and an unplanned pregnancy in particular carries a special horror for her. Basically what makes your second question a little tricky to answer....

...because she's such an unreliable witness to her own life in this. I love fanon Pansy more than anything. She's abrasive, sometimes filterless, terrifyingly perceptive, doesn't suffer fools. Which I just love so much. She's someone who cannot be other than herself, and that self is often pretty spiky. But if someone can get inside, she's also unrestrained in her tenderness. Once Pansy is on your side, you're ride or die. She'd do anything for you. Definitely would help you bury a body. And what I deeply love about Panville is that Neville gets to go further: he gets the innermost parts of her, which truly are so, so sweet and open and loving. She's an incredible partner. Neville has it made and knows it. And to try to answer your question, I don't tend to think about what they bring to the table, or whether anyone "deserves" anything, which is the error Pansy keeps making. I see them very much in the vein of, "I was in the middle before I knew I that I had begun." They're the catching feelings pair, whether it's friends to lovers or casual hook up to something more, because absolutely no way does she ever go into anything at all intending to be vulnerable. But he has the intuition of someone used to paying attention from the sidelines. He's curious. There's something there. He doesn't know what it is, but he'd like to. With enough patience, she unfurls. It's about the power of attentiveness and the inexplicable magic of deep connection. The payoff for Neville risking getting close enough to Pansy to peek inside is a spiky little wife who can't get enough of him in bed, has a full life of her own with passions and interests and relationships and is also deeply invested in their domestic happiness. She is profoundly, unswervingly in his corner. She sees and knows him. The payoff for Pansy risking her heart is this beautiful, kind, loyal man who adores her and whose sensibilities and preferences perfectly align with her own practical nature. He also happens to make great scones. Neither of them grew up understanding what they have was even possible, and I hope it's clear in the story that they both deserve every minute of it. 💜

[maknaesdancersrappers]

hehe hi ^-^ i haven’t done this in so long ohmy but side note, i usually write these in my notes app before sending and i searched up devoted and i have a bunch of different notes just about this story i think i’m obsessed 😭 but anywho!!!

going back to 16 real quick!! idk if anyone has brought it up yet but y/n recalled a memory with jaehyun??? is she hallucinating or did they actually interact and she forgot all about it, this gave me a sliver of hope that there’s a redemption arch 😭

also i knew [redacted] was guilty! but i feel like he isn’t working alone, and y/n is saur pregnant! girl you’re not fooling anyone. but it gets me thinking, if she actually is what does this mean for her and jae? will jae still let her go like he says if she’s pregnant? ohmy.

on the topic of pregnancy i think the girl yuta got pregnant is minkyung’s missing cousin! i haven’t forgotten about her ! but i can’t remember if she went missing before kun came or after, if it’s before then i think it might be kyungwon. ngl i’m a little on the fence about that though bc if it was her why would she still be sleeping with him + wouldn’t she be showing?

this is hard idk who it was😭 unless someone in the friend group was secretly banging him idkkkk. also i was curious as to why [redacted] took mina and went back to reader chapter 7 and it started to make sense. 1/4

i feel like [redacted] and jae are twinsies 👬🏻 he said: “I didn’t have the most… respectable past. I was spoiled; I wanted to party, not study. I slept around, refused to be set up for arranged marriages. Eventually, my father grew tired of my nonsense and kicked me out. I was essentially disowned by my family about 5 years ago.” and if you think about it jae was kinda the same, his father spoiled him which gave him the resources to stalk y/n, he was forced to party bc of his friend group, idk if he did much studying but assuming he didn’t bc of his friends he probs would have been let off the hook due to his money, he didn’t sleep around but he did stalk y/n and did morally wrong things😭.

the only difference is that jae chose who he wanted to marry (by manipulating) and wasn’t disowned by his father. maybe that’s why [redacted] is doing this? bc he knows they’re so alike but there’s some jealousy that jae got away with everything while he was stripped of everything? idk but it’s like okay why drag the other girls into it? what’s the end goal? kill jae and get himself killed? then what’s the point?😭 2/4

but moving on,,,,doyoung knowing about jae being the stalker gaged me 😭😭 i honestly didn’t consider him knowing but it only makes sense he knew the tea 🍵 doyoung also telling jae “But you’re good to her and that was enough for her.” is giving me hope!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! pls ik he’s done bad things but i need jaey/n to be endgame 😭😭

i was also debating if jaehyun is a monster like [redacted] said at the end of the chapter. yes he has done horrible things there’s no contesting that but i feel like we also have to take into account that he was raised to think what he did when he was younger was normal. he grew up knowing that’s what his father did, jaegun enabled him and didn’t get him help until it was quite literally too late. from what we’ve seen we also know his dad is abusive, i’m sure that didn’t help with the anger he had growing up too. 3/4

classic case of nature v. nurture. both of them screwed him over. he was already at a disadvantage with his (undiagnosed) bpd but the fact that his parents demanded him to always be perfect and essentially forced him into his old friend group and punished him for doing what they asked did a lot of harm. i don’t know why he specifically chose to focus on y/n, it makes sense that she was an escape but legit why her out of everyone? maybe bc she didn’t know him and was a clean slate? idk but he was doomed from the start.

i’m ranting sawry. but my point i guess is i don’t think he’s a monster. ofc he should take accountability for what he’s done, but i don’t think it was entirely on him. i’m at least taking into account the fact that he was at a disadvantage from the start. by the time his parents got him help he was already depressed and anxious, then they put him on drugs that messed with his head even more and made him suicidal before (assuming) putting him in therapy. idk but if i were in his shoes i’d be pretty pissed too😭. but even despite that he continued to get help and tried to be a better person for y/n following her giving him a second chance. he’s grown up thinking he’s a monster and that’s actually upsetting when you consider the cards were stacked against him. i also feel like he was starting to mature and be better with his bpd but then the rug was pulled from under him :( ughhh it’s so hard bc i don’t condone what he did but when i think about the factors that led to it i sympathize :/ either way you’re doing a great job because the fact that i feel so much for one character shows he’s not one dimensional and is a testament to how great your writing is that i can feel sympathy for someone so complex !!! 4/4

it's the way i got this and read it in the middle of a ranked valorant game and started internalizing it during a TFT match

but okay.

other points of this... theory?? will be addressed throughout the next chapters.

what i can say tho, regarding the high school flashbacks, yes, they are from y/n's memories - like the event itself wasnt significant in her life for her to remember clearly, but homegurl has time and she's in constant overthinking and reflection mode

unfortunately for yebin, yuta has definitely procreated -- i can spoil as much that yuta jr (not official name) is alive. does he know? does he care? 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

that analysis on jaehyun's upbringing is so *chefs kiss* yOU GET IT uGH but again, as for the reason why he locked in on y/n, we'll find out soooooon ish?

that is all

[zalrb]

i know you’ve talked about lorelai and emily from gg before, but what were your thoughts on lorelai and richard?

i mean obviously there’s more of a mother-daughter focus on the show since that’s what it revolves around, but it always did kinda bother me that richard was - in a way - the one to open up the “you got pregnant at 16 and chose to throw away the opportunities i gave you” discussion in s1 (i believe it was in the episode where rory meets her other grandparents). and then the show kinda never addressed it again in that specific way, even though i genuinely think expanding on that scene alone more would’ve made lorelai’s relationship with emily and richard more interesting than irritating. bc i get that they were controlling, but the idea that we never see them be disappointed beyond that, and that that hypothetical disappointment never seems like a contributing factor to lorelai leaving, always felt kinda unrealistic to me. like you meant to tell me you became a teen mom and your parents with incredibly high expectations weren’t let down in some way? they simply jumped to trying to marry you off and when that didn’t work they - quite literally - left you alone to live in their mansion???

they - quite literally - left you alone to live in their mansion???

I'm not sure what you mean by this? Are you talking about the flashback? Because they didn't leave her alone to live in the house

It's just that they were going out the night that Lorelai had left as if it were business as usual

and the thing about the flashbacks is that if Richard and Lorelai are having this conversation in the present

and we're meant to see all the reasons why Lorelai would've left at sixteen with no plan to then live in a shed at the back of a hotel then in the flashback episodes I'm going to need to see what Lorelai is talking about way more directly in scenes that matter.

With Emily, yes, she yells at Lorelai while she's in labour for leaving a note and I'm not saying Emily was right for that because the whole thing is that if she were supportive, instead of yelling at Lorelai for not telling her, she would've asked if she's OK, if she's in pain, if she needs anything, she would just be there for Lorelai, I get that. But I also can't help but wonder what would Emily's reaction be if Lorelai actually just told her. It's kind of like when Emily reacted to Lorelai's news about marrying Max exactly the way she thought she would and it's only because Lorelai didn't tell her that she was getting married and she had to find out from Sookie and the whole point is that there's so much shit between them that by Lorelai attempting to protect herself it causes more friction except the shit between them needs more fleshing out. So, I would've rather a scene in the flashback where Lorelai and Emily are in the middle of an argument about something to do with the baby and Lorelai doesn't take Emily's advice so she picks at Lorelai and gets really sarcastic and is like "Oh, what would I know about babies, I only raised a child -- at an appropriate age I might add -- I only have x amount of years of experience, but I suppose that doesn't matter in the face of my teenage daughter's say so etc. etc." and then Emily leaves while continuing to rant, Lorelai feels her contractions and she slips out of the house to go to the hospital while Emily is still ranting in the background and THEN we can get the scene with the yelling and the note.

Which then leads to Richard and this specific qualm he brought up. In the flashback episode, instead of the scene with the note starting with them arguing about his scarf, change it to something like they're going to a dinner with his firm and Emily doesn't want to go and the two of them bicker back and forth about saving face, about salvaging their reputation, there's a passive aggressive remarks about Lorelai being unwed, they have to stand tall no matter how they feel about Lorelai's shortcomings etc. so we can see what their priorities are and see how Lorelai would be made to feel in that house.

and then the show kinda never addressed it again in that specific way,

the show attempts to do address the issues in that conversation with a couple of story lines but they're mostly entwined with Rory so namely when Richard meets Dean

and when Richard and Lorelai have that out about Yale

it's supposed to be this undercurrent that permeates every conversation they have with each other but again the problem is that we don't see how Lorelai is a sore spot for Richard to talk about outside of his argument with Strobe.

But the main issue with Richard is meant to be this

(which is also supposed to be the issue with Emily)

and we're supposed to see that with the way he came up with the plan to have Lorelai and Christopher get married without asking either of them how they felt. Although in that scene what we see is Richard coming up with a plan and not asking anyone how they felt including Strobe, Francine and Emily.

Also, after he defends her from Strobe, when Lorelai says that she feels sorry for him, he's like well save your emotions and Lorelai's just like OK so we're just going to end our conversation here, nothing resolved? and Richard essentially says yes

but the issue here for me is that I don't really see Richard do this. Richard is just a person who is uncomfortable with emotions in general, when Lorelai graduates and he gives her some money as a present she says genuinely, "Thank you, Daddy" and you see him flustered and he just nods and leaves. We don't see how he responds or doesn't respond to Lorelai when she refuses to get married.

When they have their Yale blow up, she's the one who misses two dinners and doesn't return Emily's calls, when Rory reveals that she applied to Yale as well, Lorelai has a tantrum at the table in front of guests, and storms out, when he and Lorelai get into that argument after they spend the day together he's like, you've never invited me to your house, so really what I'm seeing is that when Emily and Richard do something she can't control, she's the one who freezes them out and it's supposed to be a defence mechanism and a way to cut off people who are toxic for you but the toxicity of Richard and Emily are things I needed to see in action more frequently and more directly for it all to make sense in more than just theory because even the episode he spends the day in Stars Hollow, was he annoying? Sure. But he was annoying in the way parents are when they still parent you as an adult so the whole thing seems really overblown to me.

[scourgefrontiers]

oc spotlight: patoto (villainverse)

oh man ok. villainverse patoto. probably one of my favorite ocs ive ever made tbh

he started out as a joke almost, a sort of "what if?" au sorta deal. what if patoto was a villainous saiyan? it sounded like such a fun concept i just had to explore it. and then i came up with this design

which was just SO cool to me i couldnt stop thinking about it. and then before i knew it he became his own character--a patoto from a parallel universe where he was a ruthless warrior, totally opposite from his mainverse counterpart

he developed so fast from there. i gave him a companion that ended up being kinpa, and he developed into kinpa's bodyguard. i gave him a rival that ended up being calabris. i gave him a complicated relationship with his parents, one of which he thought was dead for most of his life (his armor is actually based off of hers to remember her by). his universe grew and his story basically wrote itself i was so obsessed with him and still am

here's his current ref showing how much he's grown

even today im still giving him more development and story! as of right now in the timeline (post-mirrors and post-facets), he has a child with his partner kinpa and his family has grown from just him to a group of six including himself! he's learned to have friends and open his heart to others, and he's gotten so strong im so proud of him.

mirrors would have never existed had i not ran with his concept like i did. his character and story contrasting with mainverse patoto's is just so fun and awesome to me and i've always had fun with it and i feel like i'll continue to have fun with it as well!!

i could honestly keep going about some specific details abt him like his relationship with kinpa and zumeg (both of them) and his father and his kid and. yknow what i will LOL

his relationship with kinpa started as just a bodyguard situation but OF COURSE that developed into an actual partnership bc i love that shit. he was this cold and frankly mean guy that wanted nothing to do with kinpa or being his bodyguard--he hated it. but after getting trapped on earth in a parallel universe, he learned to open up to the idea of having at least one friend and letting himself care about someone for the first time since he was a child.

as for his parents...thats complicated lol. (facets spoilers ahead !!!) his mother zumeg was presumed dead when she didnt return from a battle when he was just a boy, and his father left some time before that, so he was basically raised in an orphanage into adulthood (or at least until he could join the army). he met the mainverse zumeg and that shook him to his core bc she was not only so different but she still cared about him and reminded him what it was like to be loved by his own mother. it wasnt until way later, many many years later, that he decided he wanted to find his father and find out why he left them. after getting that clarification, he chose to give his father a second chance at being part of his life--more for himself than his father, really--and then not long after that he discovered his mother was actually alive, just under someone's control. he saved her, and suddenly he had a family again.

i havent quite developed his story with his kid just yet, but so far what i figure is that he isnt experienced with children at all so he does have a hard time balancing the tough parenting act and the gentle, kind parenting. snake (his son) does feel a pressure to be as great as his father, since he's heard the stories of how he saved the universe before and how he continues to fight and reach new heights. patoto is a little awkward at handling this and has a hard time showing that he's proud of his son and that sort of causes a little tension between them but it eventually works out

basically i love villainverse patoto. a lot. i would die for him actually

[auranova26]

Donovan Baine, Dhylec, and Anita

Quite a mouthful, but this trio is pretty connected, so they are gonna relatively be put together. Donovan will take the bulk of this since there is actually quite a lot to his backstory. First of all, his render!

Now to talk a bit about changes. So first off, one thing I never liked about his official design was the fact his top was skintight: It just didn't look right. I was down for the aesthetic idea of a Buddhist monk that he had going, so I kept that. However, his top is now drawn in a way that his clothing would actually flow and wrap around his body. The big thing you might have noticed is the new garment he wears to cover his legs. That there is known as a longyi, a clothing piece worn by the people of Myanmar. The reason I chose that was because I wanted to pick a country of origin for him in Cryas Darkstalkers since in the original timeline, he never had a specific country of origin. However, he always gave the vibe of being a SEA. As I researched around, Myanmar caught my eye for being a country where Buddhism was a prominent religion there and for the fascinating longyi. In Cryas Darkstalkers, Donovan is Myanmarese.

So, with a country of origin and a nationality, does that mean he has a birth date? Why yes indeed he does in this mythos. Donovan was born in a village on March 3rd, 1949. This combines the release of Night Warriors: Darkstalkers' Revenge/Vampire Hunter: Darkstalkers' Revenge in Japan in the arcade (March 3rd, 1995) and the birth of Hideyuki Kikuchi (September 25th, 1949), author of Vampire Hunter D.

With him being a dhampir, that means he was conceived by a human and vampire. In Cryas Darkstalkers, his parents actually have names! His mother is a human known as Nandar with his father being a vampire known as Dragomir Baine. Now in the original timeline, it seems to imply his father was not around when he was being raised by his mother, which have some rather unpleasant implications. Not in this mythos.

Story time!

Now originally, Dragomir hailed from the lands of Maximoff in Makai serving as a warrior. However, after Demitri's failed coup and surviving the battle, life for vampires was not pleasant. While many did what they could to survive and live, Dragomir had enough. Aware of the Gate, he made the dangerous journey towards the Gate in order to escape from the turmoil he faced continuing to live in Makai. Now on Earth, he tried to figure out what to do from here. As he traveled the lands, he would eventually wind up deep in the rural areas of Myanmar. One day, as he was looking for blood to sustain himself, he happened to catch sight of woman that caught his full attention. He was bewitched by her looks and felt something in his heart of hearts. After thinking, he made the choice to approach this woman, after doing certain things to make himself look a bit more human. Overtime, they would get along and eventually marry. On that fateful day in March, they conceived a son, whom they named Donovan.

Life for the Baine family was very modest, but fulfilling as they enjoyed one another's company. Dragomir felt content in life with having a loving wife that he wanted to be with and a son that symbolized their deep bond. Nandar was also quite happy that Dragomir showed himself to not only be quite strong and handsome but was a dedicated man who always did what he could for her and Donovan. Not only that, but Dragomir was also respected by the people in the village for his honest and modest demeanor. Dragomir was not above being firm, but never raised his voice or hand to his son or wife. In all, it was a happy family life. However, neither his wife nor son were aware of his true origins as a vampire and thus their son being a hybrid. Many a times, he thought about coming clean to them as it could be a potential danger of Donovan is not made aware. However, he was fearful of them rejecting him. He was deathly afraid of losing the only people that gave his life meaning and purpose.

Before he could tell them, one fateful day in 1957 as he made a trek to the nearby village to get some supplies for his family, he vanished without a trace. Nandar and Donovan panicked and eventually their village had men search as far as they could. The only thing they ever found was bit of clothes, draped in blood. Nandar and Donovan were devastated. As they tried for days to pick up the pieces in their lives and hearts, fate would deal the Baine family another cruel hand. On the night of November 7th, 1957, a Blood Moon occurred over the lands of Myanmar. Donovan shook in his sleep as he began to have an intense nightmare. Hearing all sorts of horrendous, blood curdling sounds, he screamed in terror, desperate to get away from these sounds. Eventually, he awoke but in the middle of the village at night. As he got his bearings, he saw a horrid sight: mutilated corpses as far as he could see. Mortified by what he was witnessing, he cried in terror and tried to make his was back home for his mother. However, he froze as he saw his mother... on the floor dead. Blood running from her lacerated body, he fell down emotionally dead. As he put his hands to his face, he felt something cold: blood on his hands. It was then as he really took a good look at himself, he realized what happened. He killed everyone... his neighbors, his friends... his mother. As all these emotions welled up at the gravity of the situation, he screamed a blood curdling scream of terror and wailed with a deep sorrow over what he had done. Eventually, he just sat there motionless has he couldn't scream anymore and cried himself dry of tears and emotion. In due time, a man found him as he heard the wails and screams while out on a trek. No ordinary man though as he was also a hybrid. He felt for the young child, and after coercing him, managed to bring the silent but compliant Donovan with him back to where he lived: a village deep in the woods where Darkstalkers lived.

For a decade, Donovan lived among the people of this hidden village. While its population was that of Darkstalkers and hybrids, there was a monastery of Buddhist humans who showed no malice towards these people. If anything, they showed compassion and helped guide the people with the teachings of Buddhism. Donovan kept to himself, barely emoting, and just seemed to only survive more than live. He was still traumatized by that night and the death of Nandar by his hands. But something else also ate away at his mind: his father. As the people found out he had the blood of a vampire as well, that meant his father was a vampire. Why did he say nothing about this? What was his intentions with him and especially his mother? Were they only pawns to him for something heinous? No... he was always kind and respectful. He loved them... and that is what hurt and confused young Donovan. What happened that night was the works of a monster. The blood of a monster flowed through his body all because of his father... but his father was no monster. He couldn't make heads or tails of anything, his mind always tormented by that night, by his mother's mutilated body, his tainted blood, and his father.

The adults and monks tried to help Donovan as he grew. Attempts were made to teach him peace and enlightenment through the ways of Buddhism. Donovan went along without protest. If anything, maybe this could help find a way to make sense of everything and find some peace. While he showed discipline in taking the lessons to heart and dedicating himself to Buddhism, his mind would still be uneasy, like ripples in a lake. As he continued to practice and learn, one thing did catch his attention. Stories of this deity who roamed the lands known as Nǚ Jì Sī and her servant, Guì Zi Shǒu. Tales of Nǚ Jì Sī's exploits of heroism towards the people of the lands far and wide. Ridding the world of the scourge. These tales seemed to strike a chord with Donovan, eliciting some reactions from him. Thoughts would circulate between his studies in Buddhism and the stories of Nǚ Jì Sī. When he was 18, he made a decision. He would go out and journey to follow in the footsteps of his hero. He would seek to bring peace to himself, repent his sins by saving the people from the monsters and evil of the world. From then, he set out on his long journey of repentance.

Donovan would return back to the village after a six year journey. Much had happened in that time as he not only honed his skills as a warrior, but even met the fabled Nǚ Jì Sī and Guì Zi Shǒu. As it turns out, the mythical figures were Chinese twin sisters who transformed themselves into undead spirits with the goal of saving their mother, known as Mei-Ling and Hsien-Ko respectively. After aiding them with fighting of the powerful vampire Demitri in Romania, he went back home in order to process everything that had happened. The monks and people welcomed him back with open arms, surprised that he not only was still alive, but a bit more willing to talk and emote. As he took time to get back to his meditation, his studies with Buddhism, and contemplate about all he had been through, Donovan was plagued by a strange sound. It was not constant, but no matter if awake or asleep, he kept hearing what appeared to be a voice... calling out to him? After discussing with elders for help, it was determined that he was in fact in connection with something. Something to the northeast, a force was calling to him. They were not sure what it was nor its intent, but with this news, Donovan set out to go find the source.

As he traveled, ever slowly the voice would get a bit clearer. In time, he found himself in Tibet, among the Himalayan mountains. At this point guided merely by the voice, he eventually traversed the mountain before him to discover a strange alcove in said mountain. Examining it, he found that there was an opening to a tunnel. Aided by torchlight, he went in and found a boulder oddly blocking something. He could hear the voice the clearest it had ever been. Determined and with his strength, he moved the massive rock to the side and happened upon an odd sight: A chamber with only a sword embedded into a stone with a set of beads among the guard. While perplexed, he realized that the voice was coming from the blade. While unsure at first, he decided to unsheathe the blade. As he put his hand on the handle, he heard many other voices speaking to him, warning him to not take out the blade. However, the voice that had been calling to him spoke brashly against the voices, realizing someone was actually in the room. He pleaded with Donovan to let him free, complaining how he had been stuck here for so long and that he was bored since the 'other guys' were no fun.

The other voices interjected to explain to Donovan about the reason why the blade must stay sealed. Known as Dhylec, the blade was once a demon that caused havoc many moons in the past with a group of other creatures. In time, he was confronted by a noble monk who sought to end his campaign of terror. With his spirits and skills at his aid, he actually proved a difficult challenge for Dhylec. Seeing their boss struggling and wishing to save their hides, his group turned on him and aided the monk with taking down Dhylec. Despite the combined forces, Dhylec proved to be hard to kill. In a last-ditch effort, with the aid of the spirits, the monk transformed the demon into a blade. With the spirits at hand, he had control over the demon sword. However, even as a sword, Dhylec still proved rebellious. Seeing no other option, he knew he must be sealed away. With the aid of the surviving demons, they dug out a chamber in a high point in a mountain and sealed him there for all of time.

Dhylec interjected that sure, he caused some trouble here and there, but that he is willing to change so long as he can be released. At this point weeping, he promised he would be a good guy. He just wants to taste some fresh air again. While befuddled, Donovan then decided to make the decision to release Dhylec. Now free, Dhylec whooped and cheered as he got to move his body for the first time in centuries. At that point, he started to ramble in anger about his posse, spewing profanities about their betrayal and wishing to get back at them. Donovan merely stood there perplexed at the sight of a living sword, beads in hand. It was then, the spirits talked to him. They made it clear that Dhylec was now Donovan's responsibility as this blade could not be trusted on its own. Should he choose to deal with this blade, they would offer their power and services to aid him in keeping this blade in check. With this offer, he decided to adhere to being the wielder of Dhylec. While Dhylec was not keen on being a tool and listening to someone, he realized that he had to go along as he didn't want to be back in that stone. From then on, the strange duo of Donovan and Dhylec would set out to continue his journey.

For ten years, the odd duo worked together in a rather uneasy gentlemen's agreement. While Dhylec was helpful in providing Donovan more means to fight the wicked, he was rather annoying. Likewise, while Dhylec was grateful to finally be able to stretch his limbs and feel the blood rush of battle once more, he still was annoyed at having to adhere to a master. But overtime, they managed to find ways to cope with each other's company. Traveling through Europe again, as they rested for the night, both suddenly felt a powerful spike in power. Both were shocked at not only feeling this power, but how far away it was. Clocking on to the direction it came from, Donovan set out to locate the source. Days of travel found him and Dhylec in a village. As he got ever closer to the source, he found himself at an orphanage. Seeing that it was a place for children, he wondered if the source could have been from a child. Given the idea of seeking to 'adopt' a child in order to investigate by Dhylec, Donovan talked with the staff in regard to seeking such. Guided by the staff lady, as he was shown the area where some kids were playing, he eventually locked eyes onto a young girl. Her energy, it matched what he felt all those nights ago. But more than that, looking at her face and eyes, he almost felt like he was looking into a mirror image. A face devoid of emotion, eyes that felt soulless, yet sad, it was eerily like seeing himself as a child... no, himself deep down. He approached the child slowly, greeting her. She didn't respond. The staff cautioned him about the child known as Anita.

Anita came here days ago from a village that had been massacred by a group of Darkstalkers. When a merchant found her, she was beside what appeared to be her parents. Oddly enough, every human beside her was killed. But not only that, every monster there was also dead. Anita was the only surviving living being found there among the rubble and death. This resonated with Donnovan as he recalled his trauma of what happened to him all those decades ago. As he thought these thoughts, Anita looked up and stared Donovan in the eyes. This caused Donovan to flinch slightly as he realized the girl was... reading his mind? Why else would she be doing what she is doing right as he had those thoughts he thought. As they both looked at each other, something was clicking. She then walked up to him, and then grabbed his longyi silently letting him know she will go with him. The staff surprised by this, asked Donovan if he wished to take the child with him since this was the first time she had any genuine interaction with anyone. Looking down at her and thinking, he decided to do so. From then on, this odd trio would venture out into the lands far and wide.

[babygurltash]

OC Name Meaning

Hi, I'm about two weeks late to this - thanks so much for the tag, @sillyliterature! :D

Rules: google and post the meaning of your OC'S name (if you made their name up or they go by a nickname, post an explanation of how it came to you)! bonus if you can find something for their last name too.

I'll do my BG3 Tavs (+ my Durge) and also some of my Shepards! <33

Laurel: My first, and main, Tav!! They're a Seldarine drow warlock with the Folk Hero background (I went in blind and didn't realize Wyll has the same class & background, oops). They've always tried really hard to forge relationships with all kinds of people to 'prove' that not all drow are evil and/or Lolth worshippers. Since their mom raised them to be a selfless hero who would improve public perception of drow like she does, they were named after the crown of leaves that would be given to heroes and victors in our world... which has been a heavy burden to bear. In meeting Lae'zel, they learned that it's completely possible to not care what others think of you or how you 'represent your race' - and it's taught them to be themself, instead of some ideal of a 'perfect' drow.

Estelle: My tiefling sorcerer that I made specifically to romance Astarion with! Estelle was born to a tiefling general and a marid (evil water devil). Their mother, the general, wanted a child who would have strong powers and an even stronger mind - that's how she chose Estelle's father. However, Estelle had a soft heart and no mind for strategy. Their parents abandoned them on the streets as a result. This made Estelle grow angry and cold, and they vowed to tap into their own strength, join the army, and get revenge on the parents who saw them as worthless. The Nautiloid got them before they ever made it off the streets though. I borrowed their name from a character I love in Arslan Senki - she disguises herself as a boy to join the army and fight for what she believes in, so I thought it was fitting.

Tharien: My sister told me she had a dream where I made a D&D character and called him Tharien, so I made a BG3 character with that name, hahaha. He's my little murder freak who's going to destroy the grove and romance Minthara!

Valiska: My first, and so far only, Durge. I really wanted to play with the contrast between the monstrous and the beautiful, so I chose a race that's seen as monstrous (half-orc) and gave her soft, beautiful hair. She's also a bard because she wants to add loveliness to the world, and hates the violence within her very much. 'Valiska' as a name kind of just came to me, I think it rolls off the tongue nicely and thought it suited her appearance somehow.

Seren: The githyanki cleric I made for my co-op pt with my bf! They're a cleric of Tyr with a strong moral code that leaves little room for subtlety or nuance. I named them after a character I like (again), this time from Magi: Princess Serendine. Magi's Serendine is brave and stubborn, and she learns that the country she believed in so strongly is actually rotten on the inside. I wanted my Seren to go through a similar arc, and they share a lot of Magi's Seren's traits, so I found the name very fitting.

Aria: My first Shepard!! I once again went in blind - imagine my surprise when I got to ME2 and met Aria T'Loak...

Aria Shepard is Earthborn, and was found on the steps of an orphanage in the middle of an opera performance at the nearby theater. Her caretakers heard the music and named her accordingly. She's always shut away the more poetic, soft side of herself in order to survive her harsh realities. That changes when she meets Thane, who draws out her most vulnerable self almost without trying. I'm still in the middle of writing a long (very long) fic about her and Thane that I'm hoping to maybe start publishing soon.

Ares: A renegade Shepard is something that can actually be so personal, as I learned when I made Ares. She's a tough career soldier who's wholly dedicated to the Alliance and its ideals, so ME2 has been a fun ride so far. I wanted her name to be equally tough and not too feminine, because she's nonbinary. When the idea hit me to name her after the god of war, I couldn't stop thinking about it until I sat down and completed her character creation.

Tobi: The Shepard I made so I could finally romance Tali! Tobi is a Colonist who has spent years hiding behind false identities. When the Batarians came and took his family, he ran until his legs gave out and his cousin Tobias had to carry him to safety. Tobias was then caught and killed. The incident shook Tobi up so badly that he kind of lost his sense of self, and instead took on Tobias' name and identity. He joined the Alliance under that false name, two years too young to be legally allowed to do so. Hackett figures out what happened eventually, but by that point, Tobi Shepard is an indispensible part of the military and is already of age. No one's called Tobi by his given name since his family died, and he prefers to keep it that way... though he's told Tali his story in private.

No-pressure tagging: @megatraven @aevallare @choccy-zefirka @jotarowan and anyone else who feels like it, feel free to say I tagged you!!

[mt07131]

*cracks knuckIes*

katrina, pIs:

1, 2, 5, 12, 13, 16, 48, 49

Katarinaaaaa my beloved bitchy warlock. One of these days the campaign she's SUPPOSED to be in is gonna start but until then I have my own vivid imagination and tumblr. Answers under the cut bc I'm gonna ramble I know it

Ask me detailed questions about my OCs

1. What’s their full name? Why was that chosen? Does it mean anything?

So her full name is Katarina Petrova. I'm gonna be honest, I chose it completely randomly, like with a random name generator and it stuck. I made her quite a few years ago and it wasn't until recently that I was informed by a friend that there is a character with a very similar name from the vampire diaries (which I've never watched) but it's too late now bc I got attached to it <3. The name "Katarina" specifically means "pure", which is fitting giving her story, and the last name was random

2. Do they have any titles? How did they get them?

As of right now, she doesn't have any titles. That might change once the campaign starts up and I actually get to develop her beyond her backstory, but for now there's nothing

5. Do they have any siblings? What’s their names? What is their relationship with them? Has their relationship changed since they were kids to adults?

OH BOY DOES SHE. Okay so, she had a younger brother named Dimitri. He was born when she was 10 and due to their parents' "job", she basically raised him all on her own. This made them extremely close, and frankly he was the only one in her family that she truly cared about. I can't talk on their relationship as kids vs adults because,,,, well,,,, he kinda died (or she at least assumes he did) the same day she got her pact (and y'know, she was supposed to die to but didn't <3 the horrors are unrelenting but so is she)

12. What is their favourite food?

So I don't have anything specific for this, however I would say it would be some sort of fish dish. She grew up in a fishing village, so that was obviously a prevalent part of what she ate, so I imagine that would be somewhere present

13. What is their least favourite food?

Again, a more general answer since this isn't something I've fleshed out, but I'd say she doesn't love anything sweet. I think sweets were always used by her parents to kind of brush away them being gone for so long, but she's bitter about that so instead of seeing it as a treat/reward, it's just a reminder

16. Do they collect anything? What do they do with it? Where do they keep it?

So the collection is small right now (i.e., she has one), but she is planning to collect the medallions that belong to the members of the cult that her parents were secretly a part of and that subsequently ruined her life. She only has one right now as a lead to finding members of this cult, but she uses it as iconography to track them. She keeps it in a small pouch at her side, and it essentially never leaves her because it's the ONLY lead she has

48. Do they enjoy any parties? If so what kind? Do they organise the party or just turn up? How do they act? What if they didn’t want to go but were dragged along by a friend?

She does not enjoy parties, she really doesn't enjoy people. She's more of,,,, they're a means to an end type of person. If she HAD to go to some kind of party, she would probably just turn up and stand in the corner and brood and glare at people. Basically the biggest "do not fucking talk to me" vibes she can muster, she's giving them off

49. What is their most valued object? Are they sentimental? Is there something they have to take everywhere with them?

So I've already talked about the cult medallion, that sort of always stays with her. In a more sentimental way, however, she has a fishing lure that Dimitri made her when he was younger. She pretty much cut herself off from her previous life after making the pact/his death, so this lure is really all she has left of him