#i simply have to cry LMAO
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thinking about egg sethos realizing that being a man is an option through cyno again and sobbing
#crying my mf eyes out I LOVE TRANS SETHOS.....#god cyno means so much to him.#he welcomed him to the world with open arms and showed him that he was wrong and that more is possible#sethos *wanted* cyno to prove him wrong. he was *eager* for it.#because despite the distance and despite what they were fighting about there was still that unbreakable connection#sethos learns who he is through cyno through his persona and the family hes surrounded by.#he learns that theres more to life. that he *doesnt* have to live like this. that his body is his to command#and not simply a vessel for hermanubis or the temples will#and that maybe. he can be a man like cyno someday.#and he chases after that ideal. slowly but surely.#<- ok bitch why did you write a whole novel in the tags LMAO#idk man. idk#drives away on a comically large motorcycle#sethos#cyno#4ggravated
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from artistic mental breakdown to 5 wips simultaneously lmao
#i have 5 kantrio pieces i’ve been working on and i’ll post them together … eventually lol#i’ve done 3/5 lol nearly done the 4th so#blue fried wearing a rv hoodie … staying hydrated ofc!!! drinking out of daisys stanley cup … first time in human history all those words#have been used in a sentence together im fucking crying lol#she gives me the vibe of owning one idk lol they’re the definition of american-core to me LOL#that piece has been a lot of fun actually i’ve enjoyed the more simply faces but still keeping the ‘details’ in the clothes idk it’s a nice#mix lol i spent way too much time on faces it really drives me crazy so the chibi expressions are fun and pretty cute lol#2nd one… idk the girls R FIGHTING!!!#nah there’s lore behind it!!! lore as in my hc lore lmao#also i was thinking about the languages the kantrio speak … i think they all know japanese obviously its their native language then english#mostly due to being yknow … as famous as they are… they learnt it from tv and travelling around the world! i think professor oak is fluent#so he taught them growing up and i hc the three know sign because of red :p#wip
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I'm going to fucking pass out, they changed Karlach's kiss animation and now there's a lingering forehead touch and it's soooo sweet, what the fuck... Truly a character made for me.
#Annie plays Baldur's Gate 3#The one and only liveblog I have for this game right now is crying over them changing Karlach's kiss animation lmao#I simply... could not contain my feelings about how cute it is
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neallo mellodramattic snippet not clickbait??? [pre-OT3 concept]
#yes this is a cry for help. no there's no one who can save me#i am simply going to have to hold myself at gunpoint and march into the yuri trenches until i can emerge victorious#i'm not tagging this with any ships because. well because i'm not writing it anymore lmao#this is from 1.5 years ago at this point#neallopost#my writing
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discovered a white eyebrow hair while looking in the mirror this morning. happy birthday to me ig :/
#goal for today is to simply not cry#...but I'll admit my hopes aren't terribly high considering the way I spiralled the moment I was alone last night 🙃#birthdays have progressively gotten more & more difficult for me but. this year's definitely the worst#the timing is just already bad lmao...... but we're TRYING to be positive#it's cool & rainy today which is nice :'v#gonna have some coffee & just... vibe. see what I feel like doin. might look at some writing but we'll see#love y'all 💜#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don’t @ me.
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🐰🌧️
#so on my way home..#i walked by a school and besides the fact that i felt so depressed bc just looking at these kids and adults i have NO hope for the future#i saw two boys on a bench as i walked by... and i just thought they were talking. and too late i realized that no one of the boys were#bullying the other boy. the bully walked away and the other boy just sat there looking so lifeless and dejected#a teacher came and sat down w that boy and i just kept walking. even if i wanted to say smth it's like what would i even do abt that situati#that made me so sad both bc that boy.. he looked so dejected and used to it. that anxiety going to school knowing you're bullied is awful#and like i imagined talking to him and saying heyyy if you're lucky you'll grow up to be 25yrs old#live like a parasite off your mom and be on wellfare and never have had a job :)#you'll have no education or highschool diploma :) you will still struggle to finish hs even at an easier level :)#you will also not have had friends in 10yrs and you'll be terrified of ppl and getting close to anyone and even going outside!!#you'll have no interests and hobbies and skills! you'll simply be a waste of space loser being a burden on everyone around u!#whoop whoop stay alive buddy it will only get worse ❤️#god i just wanna cry. how did i let my life turn out this way??? i used to be full of dreams and life and passion and HOPE#i used to believe in things and in people. i had so many dreams and i wanted to try and do so many things#now all i can think is 'i wanna die i wanna die i wanna die'. im miserable wherever i go lmao#there's this bridge over the highway i have to cross when i walk to school and every time i look down at the trafic and when a truck drives#by i feel my entire body vibrate. i just wanna jump and get mauled by it.#or i dont *want* to but i feel so deeply and desperately that it's the only way for me#only way to make it stop hurting. and i am weak. i dont know how to just 'stop' or take control of my life. thats why i wanna die#bc i know that i wont be able to. that my life will never amount to anything#for fuck's sake my dream now is just to have my own 1bedroom apartment and have a shitty job - like in a grocery store or whatever!!!!!#not even that can i make happen! bc im so worthless i cant do anything. im also stupid so i wouldnt be able to do my job right#i dont know... i dont know... these feelings and thoughts are too much i just wanna relax#but i cant bc my ribs hurt and idk if it's heartburn or an ulcer 💀 why am i even alive???? what am i doing all this for? 😭#my thoughts ran away but i meant like seeing that reminded me of how much of a failure i became#bc of my circumstances and all the shitty ppl around me thru out my life
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last one I promise just always mad at toei/funi for always making them so constantly contentious when they're consistently not that they're literally just having an urgent conversation
#like this moment in the anime starts with her insulting his looks?? why?? klalsjkf Why does he have his fists up this whole convo askldjalkj#Like in JPN at least she just says he's making a scary face in ENG she literally calls him ugly girl yOU PERSONALLY HOSTED HIS GENETICS#and again in the JPN his line's the same but in the Eng he's telling her to forget about the kid and tell them where the lab is#because whatever I'm mad at Toei for you can bet Funimation made it 7000x Worse aklsjlasjf#like when he asks about the lab in jpn she clarifies his question in english she says “What Lab” Girl what do you MEAN “What Lab” LMAO#also I know babies cry but I swore the joke with Trunks in the manga is that he's Unnerving and Mean-Looking and Glares at everyone#I don't love how they make him cry all the time in the anime simply for the fact that it kills the joke of him being so mean-looking askldj#dbtag#silly hours
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something something. takahara being a petty little shit. something
i keep seeing fic premises about mc getting bullied and then (ehem) gets protective and dotes on them until they fall asleep and then leaves in the middle of the night to punish the bullies but ill be so honest if i were in mc's shoes i would be so mad at him 😭 why didn't he bring me with him tf
#takahara would be so offended lmao like “hello IM the one that got pushed down the stairs i deserve to kick my own bully until they cry”#lucifer having unironic heart eyes about this. source trust me#partner that is not afraid of him not because they are simply kind and accepting but because the partner is worse HFSGJHDSFH 😭#ari.stuffs#it's too easy to hate you and hard to love.#also the Pride 😭 the Hubris.
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#genuinely truly would not care about all my gifsets flopping like this if I didn't see everyone else giffing txf#and routinely getting however many thousand notes#I'm so sick of this#because clearly that means I'm the problem and I simply don't understand that#my gifs are good quality and I don't copy other people's ideas and I have never just giffed the same popular scene(s) over and over again#I'm sick of fandom and I'm sick of the gifmaking community where if you don't personally tag everyone and their mother#they won't bother reblogging either. all the while crying about 'nOboDy rEbLogS aNymOre'#not everyone is like this of course and nobody owes it to anyone to reblog from them but it still sucks!!#and I LOVE giffing and I love posting here and I love interacting with others but I can't not feel the disappointment#and when I left for 2 months and came back all that happened was it's now worse than ever LMAO i really don't know what I expected#or where it can go from here
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Will you be commenting on the Taylor drama?
I love the way this was worded, like I'm one of the siblings on Succession and the press has cornered me outside my penthouse to ask if I'll be releasing a statement on my family's latest scandal. Hehehe anyways.
Sorry but I just don't understand how anyone is shocked. Truly what has that woman ever done to successfully convince people that this is out of character for her. Like I don't want to diminish anyone's pain or anything but I see all these stans on here and over on Twitter in all this distress, having their very first epiphanies like "Hold on . . . does Taylor . . . suck??" And I kinda just have to chuckle at them cause like bless your hearts babes, but omg catch UP 😭
Lol because 1) she is a severely emotionally stunted person who thinks edgy British "bad boys" are hot like she's 12 years old, 2) she has no true deeply-held moral principles outside of issues that directly affect herself, and 3) truthfully, she seems to be suffering from a serious crisis of identity after the end of the longest and most significant romantic relationship of her life, and in my opinion is pretty clearly desperate to prove something to the world/her ex/herself.
The first reason is cringe but not news to longtime viewers, the second reason is pathetic but also not news (to those who can be honest with themselves), and the third is . . . understandable in some sense, but not pitiable enough to make me willing to humor this insufferable little episode she's having. I wish her luck on this humiliating rebound journey, but she is gonna have to walk that road on her own.
Normally, I always roll my eyes when people make these kinds of jokes, but given the circumstances I feel justified in saying: I can't wait to hear the breakup song about him, sis 🤡
#the great thing about disliking your own fave is that they simply do not have the power to disappoint you lol#like her stans (at least those who arent complete sycophants—which sadly is not most) are breaking down over Babys 1st Cognitive Dissonance#meanwhile im just over here chilling lol#ive also just NEVER been particularly invested in her personal life anyways so im gucci on that front too#i didnt even realize specific songs were about specific celebrity exes until *several* years into listening to her music#thats how unplugged i am lol#she is unusually extremely visible in the collective conscious right now cause of the tour and this insufferable PR blitz#but the absolute best thing for me is when she disappears and i dont have to perceive her -- the actual person -- outside of her music#and then it can just be me and my lifelong companion the fictional character “taylor swift” (c)(r)(tm)#so personally the only real threat this hangs over my head is the thought she might put him on an album#like that does strike real terror in my heart im ngl#ESPECIALLY any of the rerecords oh my god#and given the way hes been tailing her in and out of that damn studio . . . its not looking good for me kids 🥴#i cant believe she would be that dumb after making the same mistake with joe on folklore#cause even tho now she has to suffer the indignity of sharing a grammy with her ex (LMAO)#at least we can understand that at the time she thought they were in it for life#but if she pulls that shit again with a REBOUND??? just to like stick it to joe or further delude herself or whatever?#idk im gonna need interpol or somebody to step in and do something drastic like this is a cry for help#did you guys see that euphoria meme someone made about her deranged “ive never been happier!!!!” speech the other day?#it was SO funny ill go find it
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between work and pride i have two straight weeks of having to leave my house im TIRED and my cats MISS me
#i do have friday off rn#hopefully i remember to use that time to do job applications#and not just get high and play viddy games lmao#and call the bank and credit card ppl#and the hospital#and the myriad of other things i have to do#crying. screaming. tearing at my hair.#i have horrifyingly few shifts for the summer so far#so i cant even be pleased abt the time off i do have coming up#bc i dont have the money to have time off#i hate it here#ugh i should probably sign up with an employment agency again#that worked out really well for me last time#i simply do not trust applying directly to companies anymore
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people will be so understanding of mental illnesses/ ND until they spend more time with a person who can’t get rid of the symptoms and suddenly it’s all “I think you could fix it if you just put some alarms” “have you tried doing a todo list” “have you tried simply not thinking those intrusive thoughts” gee thanks man you know who else finds living with this shit annoying? ME.
#chia’s life#genuinely fuck off#shout out to the teacher who when told I was ND said “maybe you should drop out and let someone better take your place#legit was like some people simply don’t belong in academia#woah thanks!!!#so sorry I have ADHD woman should I just kill myself#like is that it#I wasn’t even asking for anything#just some accommodations for a completely unrelated topic#and this woman was like oh I gotta make sure she knows shes worthless#I started crying on this woman’s office and she even enjoyed it#kept berating me for not living up to the standard#and being unfair to my classmates who /did/ work hard#and that I should feel ashamed of myself#lmao#remembered this because she sent me an email going#hey it’s been a while I’m still your tutor come talk to me#and I’ll help you decide your future#ma’am you told me I was too stupid to have a future#fuck off
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ma'am..... ma'am please may i have some more good food (a sneak peek if possible of the next chapter of a study in reformation 👀) 🥺🤲 (no pressure ofc if ur not ready to share tho MWAH ILY YOU'RE THE BEST 🩷 AND THIS AU HAS ME BY THE THROAT (UTMOST AFFECTION) 🥰🥰🥰)
FOR YOU EMMA ANYTHING!!! ilysm and I hope this brightens up your Sunday 🥰🥰🥰
here's a snippet of what is currently going on in the monstrosity of a google doc (aka the only thing I've written thus far for the next chapter with coherent grammar):
“Hello?” Riza mumbles groggily. A cursory glance at her window suggests dawn hasn’t even broken. Annoyance pricks at her as a dull ache starts in her head, but she pinches her brows and brushes it aside. If it’s spam, she’ll personally dismantle her phone. “Who is this?” “You’re alive!” Riza groans, rolling onto her other side as she holds the phone a distance away. “We’ve been looking all over for you — where did you go? Are you okay? Are you with Roy? Are we interrupting some—“ “Rebecca,” she cuts off, as gently as she can in her sleep-addled state. “No. Before you get any wild ideas, I’m at home. In bed. Sleeping.” “Oh.” “Alone.”
also canon pics with zero context (but are meant to be an actual hint LOL):
#asks#college au#riza in the background: y'all need to get your minds out of the gutter. just bcs this fic is now rated M doesn't mean anything#I simply went to bed by myself because I need sleep and I do not fancy my stupid table mate at all#asir#fear not roy can still see :))))#I just got reminded of that one night where ana and I were keeled over and crying with laughter at the thought of roy losing his d*ck#at truth's gate LMAO like what if being h*rny was his hubris. WHAT IF IT WASN'T PRIDE AND JUST PENT UP LUST#as you can tell I have the brain of a 13 year old male#royai#royai fic#royai fanfic
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guess who has mono 🙃
#erin rambles#i am Suffering#i am suffering and i am not allowed to kiss my partner#this truly is punishment#though he's probably the one who gave it to me#hadn't even crossed my mind that i could have mono on account of thats a Teens Virus#the nurse i spoke with even said that they don't normally see it in people in their 20s#and i had to be like#ma'am i didn't get the kissing virus as a teen because i wasn't doing any kissing#i think she was surprised lmao#ANYWAY#i don't get to smooch my handsome partner for the next two weeks#i want to cry simply bc of that
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cry lol. and die probably
#this is vee speaking#i was once in an elevator with japanese rock sensation flow#they were playing at a con i was attending and i just so happened to get on when they got on#and there was definitely that kind of anticipatory silence where you know they know i know they know#i’m very sorry to say that if it were kuukou hitoya ichijiku and rio in the elevator instead the kind of silence that would be happening#would be all four wondering wtf is wrong with the girl in the bg why is she just silently crying LOL#like i very often wonder what would happen if i were perceived by any of the seiyuu/haiyuu lmao#‘cause i’m pretty sure i’d be a wad of anxiety lmao like i see fans with their brief stage actor interactions#and i would simply pass away if i even made passing eye contact with one lol#AND THE SEIYUU????? NUH UH NOPE I DEF WOULD HAVE LOVED TO BE IN THE FRONT BAT 8TH LIVE BUT EQUALLY TERRIFIED THEYD SEE ME LOL#NEVER PERCEIVE ME I NAUGHT BUT A SPECK OF MATTER GHOSTING ALONG THE SHADOWS OF WALL CREVICES#basically lmao#c: hitoya#c: kuukou👑#c: ichijiku#c: rio
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some days you really just want to scream why is this so hard!!!!!! why is life so hard for me!!!!!!!!!!!!
#maybe it's bc i just started my period or maybe it's bc im on the verge of my next breakdown but im struggling!!!!!!!!!!#yesterday i realized it's been exactly 2 years since i moved into this living situation im still stuck in and it just hit me#as i was trying to fall asleep that like ok i just lost 2 more years of my life!! i accomplished absolutely nothing and#just ran in fucking circles going nowhere and literally have done Nothing#and not to make excuses but im only now realizing how badly covid fucked me like not covid covid but covid time#as in like jobs and having any sort of future like that was Exactly the time after i graduated that i needed to be doing shit and i couldnt#and yeah i know there are sooooo many people in similar situations bc of covid but god i just feel like such a failure which i am#but i just feel so helpless like i honestly do not know how to move forward#or what i even want out of life anymore if anything at all and yes ok so period plus 2 year anniversary plus my birthday next week so im#extremely on the edge rn#and anyway last night i was crying bc of the 2 year thing then u know how when u sometimes start crying about one thing#u start crying about just everything wrong in your life so yeah i did that and then suddenly it was about still living here#and still living in this state and still living with mentally abusive relatives and how much of a failure i am at my age and how my birthda#will make me feel like shit and how much i miss my dogs and how much i worry about my cat and how i cant ever lose her ever no matter what#like i simply will not go through another pet death i just wont. and then all roads lead to my biggest mistake and regret so my ex then#all that and how i literally cant change any of those things at all and how much i feel like a prisoner and i cant escape and anyway.#im just not doing well lately lmao
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