#i simply dont know anything else
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Accidentally making characters aspec is just reliving adolescence thinking everyone is good friends out to have a fun time and then realizing no...actually at least a third of these people are flirting and or fucking or at least trying to.
Sometimes it's conscious!! Sometimes I see a blorbo and go yes. You! You shall be aspec my child... And other times I write and then reread and go ah. Wait. How do allo people act? Do allo people think like this?? And don't have an answer but it's usually no.
#this is about me just making. everyone aro or acespec in stranger thinngs fic#i simply dont know anything else#like ye i know the fuck but but right away? often? hmmmm#i think mike being ace/acespec is interesting. and claudia henderson being aspec in some way#obviously steve is demiro.#lucas abd dustin are toss ups tho i like demi lucas and demi dustin#mostly because their crushes on max are cute but i also can see them as squishes?#oooo maybe grey for dustin. like sometimes yes sometimes no always for suzie#tbh its hard because im like. plain aroace so i see things characters do and go 'aro :)' but then i dont catch other things that scream allo#this is long winded way of saying i domt understand nonsplit allo ppl. whats happening with those guys.#finda's rambles
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there is just something about the difference between edwin's love interests and having the cat king's reaction to edwin in hell being "i'll be waiting when he gets back" vs charles "no version of this where i don't come get you" rowland convincing a powerful trans-dimensional being to open a door to hell just so he could get him back
i am insane
#like YES i know there is obviously so much more history between the boys than edwin and the cat king#and for everyone who's like “well how would the cat king have gotten to hell”#yall charles got LUCKY that the night nurse was there to open a door for him#you can bet your ass that if she hadn't been there he still would've figured out how to get there no matter what it took#but the cat king calling himself a romantic because he'll wait vs charles GOING TO HELL TO GET HIM BACK????#absolutely insane#i cannot handle these two#like i can vibe with the cat king#but charles x edwin for the WIN#obviously the circumstances between the characters are a lot different#but to me that changes absolutely nothing about the fact that charles who only thinks of edwin as a friend would do literally anything#vs the cat king who claims to have fallen for edwin doing literally nothing and just sulking about it#i don't even care if you dont ship charles and edwin#the love they have for each other will forever outweigh anything else#(ps if you ship catwin you simply do not need to interact with this post. you will not change my mind)#(you do not have to interact with posts you don't agree with)#dead boy detectives#dead boy detective agency#charles rowland#edwin payne#the cat king#painland#payneland#dbd netflix
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The more I sit here and think of the update and Poppy's isolation, as a person who has suffered with diagnosed severe anxiety, I've been feeling such a deep sense of dread at how okay everyone was with simply...shutting her out. Literally. Sure, they did it with loving smiles and reassuring words.
But in the end, Poppy was simply walled off and forgotten about. Because of her nervousness and fears.
And man have I...felt that before.
#idk why i suddenly got teary eyed while eating my cereal when thinking about this#literally crying into my fruity pebbles.#because even the people who love you dearly often dont know how to handle your pain#so they simply tuck you away. because its easier. and you dont know how to do anything else#because it feels easier for you too#so youre left there. Not included. forgotten. unheard. and still in pain#welcome home#just rambling#text post
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as alicent defender and alicole fan i really didn’t like this scene
#AND IF ANYONE ASKS#i know its not their fault#im not blaming them i just simply dont like how fast it happened and by fast i dont mean that alicole happened fast because they knew each#but yeah#each other’s for YEARS. i just wanted alicole scene without sex scenes and all we got was sex scenes i dont think they did anything wrong#bad grammar but anyway#does anyone else feel the same way??#alicole#house of the dragon#team green#alicent hightower#asoiaf#aegon ii targaryen#aemond targaryen#helaena targaryen#anti blood and cheese
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wow ive been kind of off lately I should take a day to rest an[explosion]
#[.art]#self#complaining tag#I'm good. I needed to draw about it but I'm good. it's fine. whatever#love it when I barely ask you for money to Live outside of gifts and 30 a month. and then you withold the gift SOMEONE ELSE GAVE ME#that's fine it's totally not as if I told you I need that money before. and you decided I was a bit too mean#about you compiling a document I Need To in order to keep the room and board in the place I am living in. by the way#she proceeded to change topic completely to the weather and forget about anything ive told her on the clothes I have here#or about the courses I follow. she takes notes for my sister's classes but cannot be bothered to remember i dont have exams in april#that's fineeee it's fine. it's fine. I know my sistser needs the help and I don't. I would rather die than ask for her help anyways#you can at least pretend to forget about both of us equally instead of telling me I should graduate in two years because im smart enough#which I am not. by the way. At least when I will fail at something I'll have the opportunity to tell her I told you so thank god#dont get me wrong i know her giving me compliments is a good thing I just sort of wish the were things actually about me#and not about the idea she has about me being some kind of prodigy that's simply too lazy to actually be exceptional. anyways
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deeply appreciate everyones support over the years but with the recent thing i want to remind whoever may have been here for a while that no matter how long youve been following me and no matter what you may think, you ultimately dont know me. If you relate to my art/posts thats wonderful and im very happy for that!!!! But just because you relate to my struggles/thoughts/art does not mean you know me intimately, and you dont know who i am or what i have.
I dont say this to alienate people but to remind you that theres always going to be a barrier between us and that we will never truly know each other, and to remember that before you approach me about anything or with the idea that we're friends/you know things about me. For all you know i can be straight up lying to you about anything, and again, i DO NOT say this to create some sort of doubt around me or to alienate people --- i say this to mean that you should not think of me as a friend, or that you know ''me'', purely through some tumblr posts. If you want to be my friend, you have to actually strike up conversation, send a letter to me or something, play ff14 with me, something that's not just staring at my text posts and claiming you've been around since my X days and have sent me Y amount of anon asks so of course we're besties. I have a small group of friends, and I know who they are, and they know who they are, and nobody else.
I will not name or identify this person, and if you go out of your way to look for them I will openly announce you as a harasser for forgoing my explicit confirmation that this person needs to be left alone --- but this past week, I had a confusing but ultimately harmless interaction with an indivitual tumblr follower, that when taken into privacy turned into a deeply invasive conversation, where a document was revealed to me having been written by this person about me, with an illustration of me inside, declaring multiple things about me that were not true, were not appropriate, and made me incredibly uncomfortable and stressed out. What this document was is nobody's business, but it was obviously written during some sort of mental health situation, and included the person invading my privacy regarding my ''alters''/personalities and believing many things about me, including marking me as a ''big brother'' to their ''little brother'', inadvertently implying I will become an ''introverted fascist'', and when I attempted to communicate with them my discomfort and that I wished to end the conversation they had continued to press me and send me strange messages. This was after being privately and publicly threatened as well. They eventually let the conversation end, but without any apology, and continued to @ me publicly as well.
This was, overall, an incredibly uncomfortable experience, and while I wish all the best for this person and what ever mental state they are in that made them do this, I am also allowed to be incredibly mad about it. Being threatened and then claimed to be the person's ''blood nephew'' in the same sentence is not the way to talk to someone, in an altered mental state or not.
But I do not want anything to come of this. I am airing out my discomfort and to show that people are way too comfortable treating me like shit, but if anybody goes out of their way to dig up who this person is and harasses/bothers them about this you are a piece of shit. Leave them alone, just like I asked them to do and have been doing in return. Let them deal with it on their own!
this is not an uncommon occurence, either. Back when I was discovering and dealing with what I now (and have known for years) was a case of delusional multiple personalities, I had complete strangers attempt to ''talk'' to these sides of myself or to ''get them out'' to talk. I, me, Rylan, have personally been pushed aside for these personalities, alongside people feeding into my delusions (with good intentions, but still,) purely because they got too comfortable with the idea of ''knowing'' me. I had been invited into a private discord server between me and two people, where the person (a mutual's) boyfriend broke down before me and started crying about how ''they'll never be as good as an artist'' as me, and I was made to be the target of this this self-destructive breakdown that was this person seeing me as ''above'' them and treating me on a pedestool. I have multiple times had people personally claim me as their friend and then never treat me with any respect, have had someone send me a death threat and harass me because they were a long-time follower who saw me as a friend until I made an off-hand harmless joke about their comfort character, and many more situations where I was placed into an uncomfortable situation purely because someone invaded my space/parasocialized a friendship between us as complete strangers, and then either made it my problem to deal with their low self esteem, or took it out on me when I did not act 100% to their liking.
I have been open with my Bipolar and my other mental disorders in the past because people wanted to know my experience, possibly help themselves consider something, but if being open creates situations like this then I won't do it anymore.
All I ask is some respect. I have been treated like shit since I was a teenager in highschool by complete strangers, and it's not healthy for me nor is it fun to feel like I'm constantly on the verge of having someone use their enjoyment of my art to treat me like some sort of bacteria on a petri dish, or the shit under their boots. I ask you leave me alone, dear god, just let me live and treat me with respect! I know who I am, and I want my privacy! If you want to be friends, you'll have to put actual work into it instead of just reblogging my art. Do not ever think you know anything about me unless I explictly confirm it. And please, dear god, let me rest! I'm tired of always having my privacy invaded! Please just act normal around me!
#if you wanna be my friend: download ff14! its free trial! fucking talk to me somewhere else besides on anon!#i appreciate people who are nice to me and tag me in things or show me things that remind me of them#or draw me gift art of anything!! this isnt a hate to them!! these people respect my boundaries and our relationship#as simply two tumblr bloggers. please be more like them! dont jump to conclusions about our friendship! cause were most likely#not even friends! i dont even know who you are!#please treat me with some respect!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I'm going to be a certified library professional in a few short weeks, I have a solid understanding of the need to read broadly and should have a strong personal commitment to doing so, but more often than not, I end up reading fanfic for the one relatively obscure YA universe that has engrained itself into my very being rather than reading literally anything else and I don't know how to feel about it
#feel kinda bad on a professional level like i am an incredible hypocrite#but genuinely nothing can make me feel the same way that a well-written Tortall fanfic can#these characters have lived rent free in my brain for 15+ years i could not get more connected to a fantasy series than I currently am#i have been doing my best to read other things but even then i haven't branched out from fantasy!!#I've read some Discworld and i want to read locked tomb and my partner is reading us the rangers apprentice series#but i simply do not read nonfiction!!#or even mystery or scifi or horror!!#I need to do more but the fanfic is right there in my phone! i dont even need to go to the library#which is absolutely absurd to say as someone who genuinely loves to go to the library#so on one hand i feel bad about not reading anything else but on the other hand I like it!!#once i don't have the chaos of being in school and house hunting i really need to crack down on myself#because i KNOW i will enjoy other things#it's just a matter of forcing myself out of my comfort zone even when the comfort zone feels so cozy#yes this has literally just been a vent post about my frustration with my own reading habits
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Spinning Silver
⭐⭐⭐⭐; the staryk king and mirnatius with the word 'wife' on the board: there's only one thing more horrible than a wife.... *rips off paper* MY wife
Oh?? 👌😉😏
women are fucking amazing and wonderful and terrifying and unequivocal badasses. especially to their husbands. it's about the fantasy of a marriage you have no control over being perfectly suited to you in ways you didn't even know it could
inhuman fae creatures that actually have a separate culture and set of rules they are governed by. they're much more powerful than humans, of course, but they are bound to their laws, and if you're smart you can work with that
fairytale-esque magic system that relies heavily on (1) trickery (2) Having Audacity and (3) the rule of threes 😉. we love a soft magic system that rewards big swings and BDE!
not one, but TWO separate arranged marriages engaged in HEATED pvp AKA two people bound in hostile matrimony trying to kill each other while having 'wait, are they hot? fuck!' moments
you can be cold and practical and still be a good person. you can be strong enough to protect yourself without sacrificing others. with a good enough grasp of contracts you can force a demon to leave your kingdom AND husband unharmed in a 2-for-1 deal
No.. ❌🤢🤮
multiple POVs with no names for chapter titles so you have to figure out who it is from context clues - if you're like me and love a little puzzle to go with your reading time, you'll really enjoy it (Novik does it VERY well) but if you get confused easily or don't wanna put in the brainpower its annoying and overly complicated
if you don't like enemies-to-lovers where they actually argue and are ideologically opposed, you're not gonna enjoy the romance subplots. this is not a 'forbidden-lovers' kinda enemies-to-lovers. this is firmly in the 'my husband misses me a lot - but his aim is getting better!' zone
really quick wrap up - it gets tied up a little too fast after the final confrontation with the Big Bad. i wouldve liked at least to have irina POV at the end because her side of things just. gets left hanging
Summary: Miryem is a daughter and granddaughter of moneylenders, and though her father doesn't have the hardheartedness to be a good one, she'd rather be despised for what she's owed than starve. Her knack for the trade, coupled with her sharp tongue, draws the ire of her village, and even more alarmingly, the Staryk's attentions; faerie creatures who only covet gold, they take her offhanded boast that she can turn silver into gold quite literally, and show up at her door to hold her true to her careless words - which, honestly, kind of backfires on them when she rises to the challenge and upends their realm into complete disarray, so maybe there's a lesson there for the next group of nonhumans to learn: don't bet the house against a human girl whose Had Enough Of All This Bullshit. She might win.
Concept: 💭💭💭 I don't know Rumpelstiltskin's story very well, and Ice Kingdom aesthetics aren't my favourite (you can blame it on my residual dislike of Frozen), but I DID read Uprooted before this. I wasn't as into the book blurb as I was with Uprooted, but I'm an experienced (and opinionated) enough reader to know when to trust my gut - if I find an author's writing style easy to read, and I enjoy how they handle their themes, I'm not afraid of diving into deep waters. If it's that bad, I can always DNF
Execution: 💥💥💥💥 As I've come to expect with Novik's writing, a wonderfully easy read; the storytelling voice flows smoothly and makes me want to keep on reading. No slogging through difficult to understand passages and too slow pacing for me! I instantly wanted to collect every POV character like puppies in a basket, no matter how brief their sections were. I will say the ending does forget what it wants to say and simply ends on a happy note, instead of a complete thought. It doesn't tie in the POV characters together strongly enough - I would've loved to see an epilogue scenes with the 3 main female characters supporting each other, or at least being three distinct Bad Bitches!
Personal Enjoyment: ❤❤❤❤❤ Mostly because of Irina and Miryem (and Wanda)'s absolute BDE. They truly brought their stories to life and felt very dynamic, constantly driving the story forward through their actions, especially because their personalities and characteristics were so well-suited to the challenges they faced (Miryem rules-lawyering the Staryk, Irina taking to politics, Wanda keeping faith despite all the shit she's been through). Honorary shoutout to the complete hilarity of Mirnatius's POV (though ultimately it IS more indulgence than necessity, I respect Novik for it) - may he spend the rest of his life desperately drawing his wife in vain search of her bad angles!
Favourite Moment: the running gag of mirnatius losing his fucking mind trying to prove irina isn't hot. you know that post that's like 'find a blorbo to draw and your art skills will start improving so much faster'? irina is his blorbo. special mention of the scene he gets jealous realizing a random guard has a crush on his behated wife and immediately jumps to the conclusion that irina would want to fuck the guard for the sake of the kingdom. babygirl the hoops you are jumping........where is this gymnastics routine even going 😭 this man is not beating the meow meow allegations..
Favourite Character: It's really a tie between Miryem and Irina, who are both so similar yet different at the same time. Miryem's BDE was enjoyably explosive - she throws it in everyone's face, which is perfect to play off of the Staryk's otherworldly impassiveness. Irina's BDE was a lot more...steely. Quietly coming into her own as she realized how adept she was at politics, and how perfectly well-suited that made her to being tsarina - and when they finally met each other? it was so funny when were like 'hey...why dont we kill our husbands via pokemon battle??'
#spinning silver#naomi novik#books#book review#booklover#bookblr#reading#my hot take is that the staryk king is not immune to double dog dares.#staryk king: please stop asking for anything else you have already taken EVERYTHING FROM ME. STOP FUCKING ASKING!#miryem: what are you - scared??#staryk king:#my OTHER hot take is that irina and mirnatius spend the next six months to a year irradiating (pun intended) EVERYONE in their castle with#life-threatening levels of pining angst and UST.#like theyre super into each other (everyone knows. fae living on the moon would know.) but theyre both like 'what if the other person#sees it as pity sex or thinks im just using them???' and instead of talking about it they simply. Dont. for ages#in a distant realm miryem wakes up to another day happily annoying her ice fae husband in new and exciting ways and is like.#'hmmm. somehow i feel like there's a disturbance out there. oh well not my issue'
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...
#oh lads. lads. lads. lads. im being sucked back into the world of academia#i dont even kno what happened. a week ago i was crying bc i was like: this is impossible. i simply cannot do this.#and then i went into the lab sunday and miraculously i was able to easily read some papers. like i dont kno how to discribe how baffling it#was. like reading papers is like pulling teeth and this was somehow easy. i think maybe it was bc i let myself get distracted and wander#thru it. and then after that i got so much done this week and i was tired but having fun. and like the thing is: i fucking love evolution#it's like puzzling out the code for life in both a metaphical and literal sense. its fucking incredible. and my project is also very#interesting. if a bit intimidating in its scope. ya kno. just in the way photosynthesis is generally intimidating#but i think i have a strain thats lost chlf which is really interesting and my advisor said we might have the money to try some crispr for#my cyano children. hypothetically. maybe. and i get to do some poking around in genomes. theres so so much to love there#how could i possibly want to do anything else? and yet. and yet. here at the end of the week im so wrung out and i kno i just have to start#again on sunday and i kno im gonna have to step it up in terms of reading if i want to make it through a committee meeting and proposal#defense. not to even mention a comprehensive exam. and what do i get at the end of all this? a lifetime of academia draining my life away.#bc what i do is so academic. so whats the point? its just so frustrating.#and on top of that ive got all this data from my old lab that i kno i have to work on. and i will. i will. but with what time?#anyway the point is. i can see a path forward now where i stay here and decide the pain will be worth it despite not knowing where im going#after that. im just so tried#but right now it feels like im gonna stay until someone kicks me out#but that doesnt exactly make me feel happy. ugh. but if i stay i want to get my old pi to come here and give a seminar. ill warn her how#intimidating the department is tho. we've had 2 talks in the last 2 weeks that were... not good. particularly the one this week#like she couldnt answer a single question they thru at her and didnt seem to kno her data sets. it was hard to watch. anyway. i just want#to see my academic mother again. send me back to the desert! let me rot in a field full of sage#but send me back to the hills of an older mountain range. where i can climb sandstone cliffs and lay in carpets of moss. except i wouldnt do#that bc of all the ticks and threat of lyme disease...#anyway. im still tired. still sad. and there doesnt seem to b a way out#unrelated
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guys how tf do you draw clothing
im fr about to make this girl nude
#BUT I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO DO THAT#fuckin underwear it is i guess#yall think I drew jia in that outfit so she’d look extra hot and secy (yes) but in reality I simply could not draw anything else#reiley rambles
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every day me and my friends singlehandedly try to keep the kids in this church from getting more whitewashed
#julia.txt#shakes them. you will think back on this and you will think back on the opportunities you had when you are older#and you will regret and you will think tk yourself why did i not make it easier on myself when i was still young#i KNOW its hard and i KNOW its not intuitive and i KNOW it feels pointless but you have to TRY#you have to try and you have to stick to it or else you will regret it so deeply#hold on to what you have !!! before you lose it !!!!#idk at what point is it a lost cause and you just have to give in and realize that we cant preserve everything#but i dont want to give up !! i dont care if their freeking parenrs have given up i dont care if the entire church has given up on it#i will give them what i can!! i will try to !!!#augh. punches a wall. idk i cant force them but also i WAS them i UNDERSTAND .#and i know where i am at now and what i regret#it does make me want to cry sometimes because we try so HARD#i spend so much time translating and they dont. care.#and i dont begrudge them that obvs theyre kids. like its not that deep#but it's more of like. idk are our efforts really worth anything?#i think in the end it simply comes down to me not wanting things to change#and they WILL. i know they will. but i dont WANT them to#i just. i cant spend the entirety of my life up until a few years ago in this church where everything was in arabic and then.#i UNDERSTAND that things have to change at some point because its not fair to the kids to have them attend meetings they dont understand#and thats NOT THEIR FAULT. they just. didnt have the encadrement my generation had#but it makes me SAD okay it makes me sad to think that one day we wont be using the arabic hymn book anymore#i just. i dont know. i dont know. its almost 4 am i should sleep
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i cannot for the life of me find the full pic with the rose below it but i DO have the ude ni arou all wo on my wall
#i KNOW i have a pic of like. my whole bed & plushie collection with it in the bg but i canNOT find it#had to crop this out of some fuckass selfie. whatever#the wo is cut off in this pic but its there irl#i cannot just simply take a pic now that would require like a 14 hour flight to do#possibly in april possibly even later if things work out#i miss this and i miss my hot cereal shrine SO BAD....#i also miss the snow. and the constantly seeing wild animals#thats it i dont miss anything else
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can't wait to fail my Spanish test tomorrow
#five hour test.... ( + my 18 extra minutes for dyslexia as if that'll help anything when i just simply dont know how to speak spanish)#our spanish class has the worst grade point average of the country#(maybe fire the teacher?? shes very bad at her job ❤️)#the way we got together as a class and complained about our teacher to the principal and everyone else in charge#about not only her teaching but also her in general (a bitch) and all they did was go “ok guys your grades suck... lets fix that!”#i think if a couple of students fail its probably on them#but if the ENTIRE class is failing#that's probably the teacher
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i keep seeing people saying that they killed izzy for shock value a la game of thrones and i just— not every character death is there for shock value?? just because you don't expect it doesn't mean it's specific purpose is to garner shock value.
izzy very clearly represented piracy. he was steadfast and staunch in his ways and he held onto the traditions of piracy with a TIGHT fist throughout the first season and the start of the second. not to mention, s2 was ALWAYS leading to this theme of "the end of piracy". the clues were there the whole season!!! and by that logic, if izzy = piracy, then end of piracy = end of izzy.
im not happy about his death!! im disappointed hes gone!! i loved him, he was probably my favorite character this season!! BUT i do understand why djenks did it. and it was NOT a "for shock value" kind of thing.
some people are reeeeal quick to like get super defensive and jump onto this "omg it was for shock value! there was no other purpose! what bad writing! what a bad writer!" bandwagon when things they don't personally like or agree with happen on their favorite shows, but honestly not everything you don't like is "bad writing" or "just there for shock value" or "purposeless". maybe take a couple minutes to think critically about it and to like analyze the choice within the frame of the whole season and the whole show and its themes before making those kinds of (oftentimes baseless) accusations?
it's one thing to be upset with something that happened and to not like it, and it's another thing entirely to then blame it on bad writing or a clueless, vicious writer who doesn't care about their characters or their story or their audience.
#not every choice is a personal slight against you or your group in television lmao#im SO hesitant to tag this as anything to do with the show#but i dont want to spoil people so ill tag that#ofmd spoilers#i imagine this take will not sit well with everyone but 🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️#if you dont have anything nice to say then this is your warning: dont say it keep scrolling and stay off my post#im not looking to fight with anyone#im simply stating my opinion and the observations ive made in the aftermath of that last episode#also it is SO CLEAR that david jenkins cares SO deeply about this show and these charactera and his audience!!!!!#he is NOT out here trying to slight us and he had made that ABUNDANTLY clear!!!#so for people to completely ignore everything else he has done to show his love and passion and care for this show and everything about it#and say that suddenly hes just doing things to get views or to shock people or whatever thus implying hes being senseless and cruel...#thats just not it fam#hes not doing that#i know other showrunners and directors have done stuff like that (cough spn cough) but this is not that#we're so used to that that we dont know what to do when its NOT that#ofmd
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.
#fuck me sorry but that post actually unlocked so many memories for me rn and i simply must get them out lmao#anyways i just wish there was a way i could tell my geography teacher how much of an impact she made on my life#it absolutely shook my world view up when we did our lesson on migration and she asked me what the positives to immigration were#me. a brown girl living in britain her whole life where all she really saw and understood was an inherent hatred for immigrants.#and so i prattled off the textbook answer- they bring people who can do labour and earn more money for the country#and shes like 'and?' and i drew a blank. i couldnt think of anything else. what else were they worthy for?#and she explains. she says music. and food. and culture. and god. im tearing up just thinking about it. like in that single moment she just#fucking changed everything for me. like yeah. yeah ppl do bring that. they make this place everything it is. they bring Life to this place.#i feel like my words are so jumbled lmao idk how else to explain it i am simply soooooooooooooooooo emo like seriously#and it wasnt after i didnt have her as a teacher i was told my one of my friends that she always gives the best student in her class a#a yellow ring binder. the rest get green. guess what one i got. LIKE IM GOING TO CRY AND NEVER STOP. and i didnt know!! i never fucking knew#i literally remember her that day when she was like ah seems im all out @ H could you follow me pls and ill get you answer one from storage#and then she gave me a yellow ring binder like. fuck me man. fuuuuuuckkkkkkkkkkk#and i think back so much because she had a scottish sounding second name but she was married. and part of me thinks maybe her parents were#polish? just from context clues. but i dont actually know. and part of me is like am i just romanticising her? i didnt actually know who she#was. all i have is these little moments and how she treated me and the fact i liked her class#and people were so rude about her btw. like thought she was a dickhead. but she wasnt. she actually wasnt she just didnt take ppls shit. :((#and now im remembering that time i didnt do my homework and my friend took my jotter from the pile AS SHE WAS MARKING THEM and brought it#to me so i could copy off her#and ngl i always thought it was funny and sneaky but now im realising she probably fucking knew and didnt say anything because she liked us#god im gonna cry#i hope youre ok out there and i hope youre happy. i hope my idea of you is correct.#*insert spongebob laying on ground meme*#le text post
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the whole like "cool excuse, still murder" mindset has really rotted peoples brains like obviously there are certain situations that are just inexcusable and cant be reasoned but when you look at the wide spectrum of humanity like.... many things do in fact have not necessarily excuses but certainly explanations. but yall are so focused on everything being definitively right or wrong that you wont even allow yourself to consider the grey areas and the fact yall cant even do this with fictional characters.... appalling behavior quite frankly
#highkey gets on my nerves when people are like 'i dont wanna hear excuses for why you did xyz'#when the person is simply explaining the events/thought processes that led them to doing whatever#like i for one would like to be able to understand people but maybe thats just me!#idk how to convey to you two thoughts can exist at the same time#yes someone can do bad things and yes it can stem from a place of trauma or simply being misguided#and that person doesnt need to be held to fire for the rest of eternity if they show meaningful change in behavior like#what is not clicking i dont understand#or when people act like someone being surrounded by shitty circumstances and never knowing anything else should be expected to be a well#adjusted citizen like you are not being realistic right now#idk man yall just annoy the shit outta me and i needed to ramble lmfao#i actually love my mind and how i interact with the world sorry the rest of you get off on being one giant lynch mob i cant relate to that
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