#i shower and cook and take a long walk and battle my social anxiety by exploring new places and going to new businesses | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

trey-ff · 8 years ago

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THREE.

SONYA

After two days spent in the hospital, Hassan and I were finally allowed to be discharged. I hadn’t been there for that long, but I was elated to be going home. Though anxiety and a little apprehensiveness rested in the pit of my stomach at what lied ahead, I couldn’t wait for my life with my son to officially begin.

“Where’d you get these flowers? Please, don’t tell me it was you-know-who.” Ebony frowned, pointing to the vase of roses that Hassan had gotten for me.

“If you’re referring to Carter, hell no. Hassan, the man who helped deliver the baby, bought them for me. He stopped by yesterday to check on us.” I informed her, leaving out the fact that Carter had stopped by, too. She hated him and I didn’t need her going on a tangent about it. Besides, I still hadn’t come to grips with the progression of our talk myself.

“This Hassan seems like a real gentleman.” she smirked as I simply chuckled.

“He is,” I admitted while tossing my tresses behind my shoulder, “I wasn’t even expecting him to come see me, let alone, bring me flowers. He even sat and talked to me for awhile, too.”

“That was really nice of him.” she smiled, getting up from the chair with Hassan nestled in her arms. While I finished getting myself together, she entertained her nephew. Soon, I was dressed in black leggings and a gray Champion sweatshirt, ready to go.

“Can’t wait to get home.” I sang, trailing back towards the bed where me and Hassan’s things were halfway packed.

“Just be sure that you have everything.” she mumbled while bundling Hassan into the carseat that I had her retrieve from my house before she came. Nodding, I stuffed my worn clothes inside of the duffle-bag before zipping it up. Then, I glanced around the brightly lit hospital-room.

“I think that’s everything,” I sighed, unplugging my charger from the outlet beside the bed before plopping down in the nearby chair, “I just need to put on my sneakers and then, we can go.”

“I hope you know you’re gonna’ have to be rolled out of here in a wheelchair. So, we still need to wait for them.”

“Why? It’s not like I can’t walk. I just got dressed by my damn self.” I grumbled, adjusting the tongue to my black Huaraches before tying the laces. She chuckled.

“It’s discharge policy.” she shrugged, tugging the baby-blue hat further down Hassan’s head. Thankfully, he was deep asleep and was not being much of a hassle. It seemed that every time he was awake, he was in need of a feeding and I was still adjusting to that.

Soon, the nurse entered my hospital-room with a wheelchair and my copy of the birth-certificate. While Ebony carried Hassan, the nurse assisted me into the chair and followed her lead until we approached Ebony’s truck. Once everyone was settled comfortably and securely inside, we headed in the direction of my house.

–

“Ah, I’m so happy to be home.” I cheesed as we pulled onto my street. In response, Ebony only chuckled and shook her head. As we approached my house, I noticed Hassan’s car still parked outside and that reminded me to tell him that I had been discharged from the hospital.

And so, I pulled out my iPhone and shot him a text, along with an apology for making him wait two whole days for it. I imagined it must have been tough for him to get around without it.

“C’mon, kid. Let’s get you two in the house.” my sister sang after parking alongside the curb. Unbuckling my seatbelt, I opened my door and due to the height of the truck, I had to literally leap down, causing Ebony to snicker and mutter short-ass beneath her breath.

“Oh, shut up. You ain’t got no more than two inches on me.” I chuckled, feeling the vibration of my phone in my pocket. It was a text from Hassan, informing me that he would be stopping by sometime later that day to scoop his keys. Texting back a simple okay, I proceeded to open the backseat-door to get my son.

“I’ll get your stuff. You just worry about him.” Ebony said as I nodded and grabbed the handle to his car-seat. After being sure that the doors to her truck were locked, we hiked up to my burgundy front-door, where Ebony fished my obnoxiously decorated keys out of my purse, forcing me to smirk at her agitated expression.

“Ugh, I can’t stand all these stupid-ass keychains you got on here.” she complained as she always did whenever she saw my keys.

I had a rhinestone S for obvious reasons, a Minion keychain that my niece gave me, a lime-green furry ball keychain that I bought from Forever 21, a flashlight in case I needed to see, an ice-cream cone because who doesn’t like ice-cream, a million store membership cards to stores I barely ever shopped at, a corkscrew for the wine I never drank, and a keychain from that trip to Puerto Rico that I didn’t go on, amongst many other silly little trinkets that I randomly hooked on there.

“Hey, at least I could never say I lost them.” I laughed as she unlocked the door and pushed it open. With no expectations of seeing anything out-of-the-norm, I was startled to the point of almost dropping my baby when my family and friends jumped out of hiding and shouted SURPRISE!

“Oh my goodness! You guys fuckin’ scared me.” I breathed, touching my chest as the group of maybe ten or so people bursted into laughter. Upon first glance, I spotted my mother, my aunts, Aaron, my niece and nephew, and my best-friends, Deidra, Ashley, Sasha, and Noah, along with a few other familiar faces.

“Aye, no more potty-mouth. You’re a mother now.” Deidra, my girlfriend from my old job at the casino, joked as she wagged her finger at me. Chuckling, I stepped further into the house and made my rounds. Of course, everyone who hadn’t seen my son yet paid me two seconds of attention before insisting that I showed them the baby. Not that I cared, I was just happy to be around so many loved ones.

–

After catching up with everyone, my mother insisted that I eat. For my homecoming and the arrival of Hassan, my mother and aunts cooked an array of my favorites for the get-together that my friends had planned for me in lieu of a baby-shower.

“This is so good.” I admitted, dipping another chip into the sriracha and ranch dip that my Aunt Gina made. Sasha pursed her lips up at me.

“You’re just greedy,” she giggled while scrolling through her never-ending pictures of Hassan, “so, which one should I post? This one… or this one?”

While the other guests, specifically my relatives, were in the living-room with Hassan, I was sitting in the kitchen with my friends. Due to my isolated and neglectful mood during my pregnancy, I could definitely say that I hadn’t been the best best-friend to them. But, they knew that the battles in which I was facing at the time were tough. So, instead of dwelling on that, we broke away from the rest and got lost in our usual quibbles.

“Don’t be plastering my baby all over Instagram now,” I told Sasha, who was infamous for documenting every moment of her life, significant or otherwise, on social-media, “I haven’t even made a post about him yet.”

Sasha was what I considered the it-girl of our group. All of the latest trends, hot-spots, and gossip, she was up on it. Everywhere we went, at least five people knew who she was; she was quite popular around Vegas. If you’d let her tell it, though, none of them were really friends. She simply knew how to network for her net-worth.

“And, you probably never will, Sonny. Only thing yo’ ass be on is Tumblr anyway.” she clowned, somehow making my other friends laugh.

“Whatever. Tumblr is better than all that shit you guys be on. Yes, that includes Twitter and Instagram. And, don’t even get me started on Facebook.” I chuckled, taking a sip of my Fiji water.

“Now, we can all agree that nobody, but old-ass people with uninstalled updates on their computers and shit use Facebook. Hell, they just now finding out about that blue and black, gold and white dress debate. I promise you, my aunties were arguing up and down my wall about that shit last week like it ain’t happen last year. They was just begging to get blocked.” Ashley ranted, forcing me into a fit of giggles.

Now, Ashley, I had met at my bartending job and she always had me dying. She was over-the-top, petty, and had no filter or restraint of any kind. You always needed one brash friend like that, though.

“Hey, I use Facebook.” Noah said defensively. Noah was the guy-friend within our circle of friendship, which ultimately deemed him lucky if he was fucking all of us, or gay if he wasn’t. However, despite what outsiders, specifically men, had to say about it, he always stayed true. He was mature, educated, and probably best-labeled as the voice of reason and the fix-it guy. He was like the big brother that we always wanted.

“And, you see why you don’t be invited to the group-chats now, right?” Ashley asked, sending a fake-smile his way.

“Aw, boo-hoo, I’m so upset that I’m never invited to the men-ain’t-shit group-chats. That’s all ya’ll ever talk about anyway.” he chortled before drinking some of his Rolling Rock.

“‘Cause they ain’t!” we all exclaimed in unison before bursting into laughter. Hell, it was the truth. All us girls had dealt with at least one trifling-ass dude in our pasts so, if we related or connected on anything, it was definitely that.

“Now, that we on that subject, I’m thinking about putting Jaxon on child-support. I said I wouldn’t, but he’s just not stepping up to the plate like he should be with Xavier.” Deidra complained, referring to her three-year old son.

Deidra was the oldest of us all, sitting fine at thirty-two. Due to that, I felt that she often took the place as the mother in our group. She, like Noah, was protective, worrisome, and good for letting us hear it when we needed it.

“I say you do it. I mean, why not? What is this trend with men making babies that they refuse to care for?” Sasha muttered, earning an agreeing head-nod from me.

“I just… I know he wouldn’t be able to keep up with the money. And, what good would he be to Xavier locked up? He doesn’t have a job right now and I’m sympathetic.”

“Take off the sym and keep the pathetic ‘cause that’s what you are right now, girl. What good would he be locked up,” Ashley mocked before chuckling, “hell, what good is he now?”

“Ash, you’re not a mother and I’m almost virtually certain that you’re incapable of loving anyone, but yourself so, you wouldn’t really know that feeling either,” Noah jabbed, making her roll her eyes, “no matter how triflin’ the nigga is, that’s not easy to just do, especially knowing the consequences in store if he didn’t pay up. Like, Sonny, do you plan to put Carter on child-support?”

His question instantly reminded me of the envelope of money that Carter had given me days prior. It was tucked inside of my purse and I hadn’t mentioned it to anyone since I was still kind of murky on the offer myself.

“Um… I hadn’t even given it a thought. I probably wouldn’t do it, though. I just… don’t feel the need to.” I shrugged. Beyond their knowledge, Carter had already insisted that he would be helping me out financially, whether I wanted him to, or not. So, I didn’t have the push to put him on child-support.

“Now, you the pathetic one for real. Deidra, I understand her sensitive-ass not wanting to because he low on paper, but Carter is not. He’s paid and you need to reap the benefits. Not be a gold-digger, or a feigning baby-mama, but a woman who’s thinking in the best interest of her son. Have you even seen or heard from him since the birth?” she asked, switching gears a little. Crunching down on my chips, I thought for a moment before slowly nodding my head.

“He stopped by the day after I gave birth.” I said, keeping it short and sweet, though, I knew that they would continue to prod me for more details.

“And? How’d that go?” Sasha inquired.

“It just went,” I chuckled, shrugging as she kissed her teeth, “I mean, he ain’t have shit interesting to say. He basically told me that he can’t be the man that I want him to be right now. He hopes that later on, if I oblige him, he can be that man and we can work things out.”

“Please don’t tell me you’re actually considering that?” Noah commented, furrowing his eyebrows at me. Noah hated Carter, specifically for how he’d treated me after I had revealed my pregnancy to him, which were reasonable grounds.

“Nah, I ain’t paying him no mind. I mean, if he wants to be around for Hassan, fine. I’ll need to learn to accept that, but for me? Nope. I ain’t interested in any men right now. The only boy that my world revolves around is Hassan. Period.”

HASSAN

“Hassan, these scallops are burnt.” Chef Granquist barked snidely, pointing towards the dish of scallops and herbed brown butter that I had cooked. This harsh and rather loud confession made the heads of my fellow classmates turn in our direction.

“I couldn’t keep them from stickin’ to the pan.” I confessed, refraining from showing any attitude, though, there was none at all. Usually, I received the utmost amount of praise from Chef Granquist; I was definitely one of his favorites. However, that didn’t exempt me from his criticism and discipline.

“Maybe if you were paying attention, you wouldn’t have made this careless and stupid mistake. Take note,” he grumbled, now speaking to the class and making an example out of my error, “the pan should be heated to the point where a single drop of water would bounce around the pan. Then, add the three tablespoons of oil and make sure the scallops aren’t touching one another. And, judging by the pan that you decided to use, I could tell that they were touching. I said to use the 14-inch saute pan and you’re using a 10-inch? Just doing your own thing today, huh?”

“No, Sir. I… I forgot.” I grumbled, not really knowing what else to say, but also knowing that nothing would discontinue his ongoing opprobrium.

“You forgot? Do you think a customer would accept that excuse, or any excuse for that matter, from a cook? I forgot? I expect better from you, Hassan,” he admitted before walking away from me and to Donovan, a fellow cook, who had prepared the same dish, “now, these are much better. You see, Hassan, how Donovan listened to my instructions? If you had done the same…”

I zoned out as he praised Donovan and downed me in the same breath. It wasn’t that I didn’t take heed of his lessons because I did. Without this class and without his referral, I wouldn’t have landed a job at Top of the World. That was my dream job until I was able to own a restaurant myself. I knew that it would take a lot of determination and discipline, along with the material that was being taught in my classes. And normally, I was ahead of the game, but there was some shit going on between me and Whitney that was clouding my focus and better judgement.

A part of me considered this to be somewhat more important than our troubles, but even still, having her upset with me weighed on my mind. Whenever Whitney and I weren’t on common grounds, it had the ability to fuck my whole day up, as it should, considering I couldn’t imagine life without her.

About three years ago, I had moved from Houston to Vegas with my best-friend, Dave. The decision was spontaneous; we just wanted something different from the usual. We were bachelors and wanted life to be like a never-ending party, which Vegas turned out to be. Well, until I met Whitney.

Our come-about wasn’t love at first sight, or anything out a romance flick. It was actually quite the opposite. I met her at a party two years ago, fucked on the first night, and didn’t bother leaving any contact info when I dipped right after. Then, we saw each other at another party, fucked again, but this time, we exchanged numbers. We had a friends-with-benefits ordeal for awhile before feelings inevitably became entangled on both ends. Instead of pushing them away, we just went with it to see if we could maintain all that came with a relationship. And, being that a year and four months of monogamy had passed us by, it was clear to me that we had something worth fighting for. Or, so I thought.

“Hassan!” Chef Granquist shouted, indicating that during that brief gap in my reality, he had been talking to me. Damn, I just couldn’t quit fucking up.

“I’m sorr-”

“Am I boring you? No, honestly.”

“No, I’m just… I’on know. I apologize and I assure you, I’m here wit’ you for the remainder of the class.” I said, motioning a finger between his eyes and mine. He chuckled.

“Oh, don’t assure me anything because you aren’t doing me a favor by being here with me. You’re doing yourself one. But, if I ever do bore you, please, there’s the exit. Be my guest.”

Not bothering to add anything to the discussion, I nodded my head and waited for him to continue his instructing. The last thing that I wanted to do was jeopardize this class by spacing out and shit so, as promised, I made sure to stay attentive for the rest of the class.

–

“Yo, where you at, nigga?” I griped, speaking to Dave. Since my car was wrecked and my keys were still in Sonya’s possession, I was relying on his ass to take me and pick me up from school and work. Thing is, he wasn’t always reliable.

As stated, Dave was my best-friend and had been since we were eight years old. Hell, with our nineteen-year friendship, we considered one another practically kin. We bonded, bickered, and defended one another like brothers. Since we grew up right next door to one another, we were brought up together and essentially, came from the same cloth. Our parents heavily believed that it took a village to raise a child and that was just the method that they used to mold two bad-ass little boys into the grown-ass men that we were today.

“I’m like, ten seconds away, Hassan. You better be lucky I’m even comin’ to get ya’ no-car havin’ ass. You could be callin’ a yellow-cab or some shit everyday.” he grumbled irritably.

“Just shut the fuck up and get here. You ain’t reliable worth shit. Hell, a yellow-cab probably would be more reliable than you.” I rumbled. He kissed his teeth.

“Man, you too disrespectful. But, what else is new, right,” he muttered before blowing the horn, “I’m outside. C’mon.”

“And, what was the point in blowin’ the horn if we on the phone? You always been a dumb-ass.” I snickered, hanging up before he could respond. Then, I got up from the bench and walked outside the school with my duffle-bag and backpack in tow. Jogging down the cement steps, I noticed his black Audi parked fixedly in a parking-space. As I approached the car, he was typing away on his phone, but looked up once he saw me and pressed a button to unlock the doors.

“Wassup, Chef Home-Boyardee?” he snickered, using the same joke he always did as soon as I jumped inside his car. Kissing my teeth, I broke into laughter at his goofy-ass before shoving him aside.

“If I never told you before, I’m tellin’ you now. You get on my nerves.” I chuckled, accepting his hand for a dap before he shrugged and took the car out of park.

“Hey, that’s what I do,” he smiled before peeling out of the parking-lot, “so, how was class? It was cool?”

“Eh, it was aight, I guess. I was fuckin’ up more than usual, though, and Chef Granquist ain’t have no issues callin’ me out on it.” I snickered, shaking my head.

At first, being that my passion elicited sensitivity when it came to criticism, constructive or otherwise, I would get mad and react poorly whenever he did that. As time went on, I gradually learned to appreciate it and used his words to fuel my ambition. To succeed in culinary school, I learned real fast within my first year that you needed determination, perseverance, and a thick layer of skin.

“Well… why was you fuckin’ up in the first place?” Dave asked as we pulled up at a red light. I shrugged.

“I’on know, man. I’m just… tired. Between work and school, I just been real stressed out. I’m tryin’a balance it out, but everything pilin’ down on a nigga right now. Then, there’s Whitney. She feels that I haven’t been spendin’ enough time wit’ her, which is kinda true. But, it’s not that I’on want to, I’ve just been busy.”

The night before, I was unexpectedly called into work while spending time with Whitney. Though the decision wasn’t an easy one to make, I ultimately sided with my job and she was upset about that. I could be the first to admit that I placed my passion above my personal life in most instances. But, I really wanted this dream of mine to come to fruition so, sacrifices had to be made along the way. She knew that from jump-street.

“Man, tell Whitney to go ‘head somewhere and find a hobby,” he grumbled, forcing a chuckle from me, “that broad too dependent for me, man.”

Dave couldn’t stand Whitney and the feeling was mutual on her end, too. He felt that she was too whiny and demanding, while she felt that he was a bad influence on me. Dave wasn’t the relationship-type; it would have to take the perfect woman for him to commit. But until he met that woman, strip-clubs had his heart. I couldn’t knock him for that; I used to be the same way before I settled down with Whitney.

“C’mon, bruh. That’s my girl. She’s definitely a li’l needy, but I love her, man. I wanna give her all the things she needs and wants, you know?” I admitted as he frowned in disgust.

“Nah, I don’t know. I could not imagine bein’ whipped like that, especially for a broad like that. But, more power to you ‘cause you gon’ need a whole lot of it when it comes to her annoyin’-ass.”

“You disrespectful as hell, D. Nah, you really are.” I mumbled, pulling out my vibrating iPhone as his laughter filled the car. The number was unknown, but from the context of the text-message, I knew exactly who it was.

“Yo, remember how I told you about Sonya, the girl whose baby I delivered,” I asked, watching as he glanced over at me and nodded his head, “she just got discharged from the hospital so, let’s head over to her crib. I gotta get my car.”

“Oh, yeah. We definitely need to make that detour ‘cause you been cuttin’ all into my schedule.” he grumbled, forcing me to kiss my teeth at his lying-ass.

“What schedule? You don’t do shit. From what I see, Ruiz pretty much let yo’ ass do whatever you want.” I retorted, referring to his boss. Dave worked at this tattoo-parlor, Devil in the Detail, and the nigga was barely ever there. Being that him and the owner were tight, he could get away with shit like that and still get his paper at the end of the week.

Since working there, which had been about a year and some change, he had probably only done like, three tattoos that I know of. He didn’t even go to school for the shit, but his artistic mindset and ability to stencil out ideas was only half the battle. All they had to do was train him and he was set to go.

In almost every situation that he was encountered with, Dave never really had to do much. Shit just came naturally for him. If he didn’t want to be bothered with some shit, he got someone else to do it, or ignored it until the problem was no more. I never wanted to take anything away from my brother, but it always made me question how he would handle real-life problems that actually required his effort.

“You don’t know what I do,” he chuckled as if he knew something that I didn’t, “and, I’on gotta’ tell you.”

“I never said I wanted to know.”

“You asked what schedule so, evidently–”

“Ah, ain’t nobody finna’ go back and forth wit’ yo’ simple-ass. Just shut that shit up and go to 54 Highland Road in Summerlin so, I can get my shit and you can go ‘bout your schedule.” I said my last word through hand-motioned quotation-marks. He grilled me before silently focusing on the road ahead.

“You know, you is really a throne in my side.” he sighed, mocking his mother, who always used that line when we were getting on her nerves. We both bursted into obnoxious laughter as we started reflecting on times when we were truly a throne in her side.

–

“Yo, look at ya’ car, Hassan. How on Earth did you do that shit?” Dave chortled, pointing towards the dent in my BMW. Shaking my head, I kissed my teeth as I stared at the damage myself. Being that I had gotten sidetracked with delivering the baby, I didn’t really remember, or even so much care for the damage that had been done to my car but, it was turning out to be way worse than I anticipated.

“Some dumb-ass kid rear-ended me, probably not payin’ attention. It’s like every single time I turn around, some bullshit is happenin’ wit’ this car.” I said while mentally calculating the damage and the money that would need to be forked out in order to repair it.

No matter how hard I tried, there were always constant setbacks and hurdles interfering with me chasing my goals. I knew things wouldn’t be easy, but goddamn. Could a nigga catch a break, ever?

“Man, it ain’t too bad. I mean, it’s dented up, but I can call up my boy, Roscoe, and have him fix it for the low. He don’t be chargin’ too much for shit like that.” he muttered as he parked alongside Sonya’s house.

“Yeah, I suppose,” I grumbled while pinching my chin-hair between my fingertips, “are you comin’ in wit’ me? I’m sure she won’t mind.”

“Aight.” he rumbled, shutting the engine and jumping out of his car. Together, we hiked towards Sonya’s front-door, where I knocked and patiently awaited her arrival. The door opened, but Sonya wasn’t the one who answered it. Rather, it was an older, nearly identical version of her.

“Hello, and who are you two gentlemen?” she inquired while looking between the two of us with a welcoming smile. Extending my burly hand, I shook hers, which encouraged Dave to do likewise.

“Well, I’m Hassan and this here is my boy, Dave. I’m a friend of Sonya’s. Would she happen to be here?”

“Um, yes. Come in. I’ll go get her.” she simpered, widening the door for us. Due to the lively decorations and the sound of many voices coming from the living-room area, I assumed that they had thrown her a little get-together.

Peering to my right, I noticed the vase of flowers that I had gotten for her seated on a cherry-wood end-table and grinned. Just then, she entered the main-entrance where we stood and her face lit up with genuine excitement. Beyond our first encounter, where she was cranky and rude due to her pregnancy, I could tell that Sonya was outgoing and a joy to be around. She just had this warm, inviting, and down-to-earth aura that I fucked with heavily.

“Hey, Hassan, how have you been?” she simpered, feeling comfortable enough to embrace me in a hug.

“Good, you?” I smiled, subconsciously taking in her scent before allowing her to pull away.

“Pretty good, pretty good,” she assured before turning her focus to Dave with the same smile, “and, you are?”

“Dave, his friend. You must be Sonya. I’ve heard a lot.” he smiled, extending his hand for a shake that she gladly accepted. I raised an eyebrow; it was always weird for me to see him being polite for a change.

“Good things, I hope.” she giggled, looking towards me.

“Of course. I ain’t got nothin’ negative to say about you.” I chuckled as they both did likewise.

“Oh, here,” she murmured while taking my keys out of her pocket, “if you want, I know a mechanic who can fix that up for you. He’s actually here right now. I could probably get him to do it for a super low price, being that you know me. Maybe even for nothing at all.”

“Um, nah–”

“That’s wassup. He’ll do that.” Dave intervened and I looked at him like he had two heads. Wasn’t he just telling me that he had someone who could handle the damages for me?

“Perfect. Want to meet him and get things arranged?” she offered, aiming her thumbs towards the back of her home. Between them, the decision had already been made with no room for my input so, I simply nodded my head. She motioned for us to follow her lead.

“Why?” I asked, referring to the stunt that he had just pulled.

“‘Cause her boy probably won’t you charge you anything for it.” he grumbled, not convincing me in the least bit. Instead of questioning him any further–not that I had any time to–I stopped behind her in the familiar living-room.

“Guys, this is Hassan, the man who delivered Hassan.” she introduced while pointing at me. As I waved and earned their astonished expressions, I knew that Dave was looking at me crazy. I hadn’t told him that she named the baby after me.

“Ah, that’s how you gon’ introduce me? Just throw me on the spot?” I snickered, remaining humble about the ordeal. I had already received the utmost praise from friends, family, and the practitioners who made a career off of what I did with no experience, but didn’t see the hype around it. I mean, I felt that I had to do what I had to do; I would have liked to believe that anyone in my position would have done the same.

“You didn’t tell me this was the man who delivered the baby,” the woman, who I had learned to be Sonya’s mother smiled, “I thank you so much for being there for my daughter. I’m Nicole, by the way.”

“And, I’m Ebony. Her sister.” another woman smiled, introducing herself to both Dave and I.

“Nice to meet you both,” I grinned, “and, it was really no problem, Nicole. I’m just glad that they’re both happy and healthy.”

By chance, I happened to glance at Sonya and noticed her already staring at me with a smile painted on her face. I smiled back before subconsciously licking my lips.

For a few minutes, we talked with her people in the living-room and I sat with the baby for a little before she asked that we follow her into the kitchen. There, four other people were seated at the island, chilling. I learned through her introductions that they happened to be her best-friends. We sat around the table, drinking and getting acquainted with one another. Just like I detected in Sonya, their vibes were genuine and laid-back.

“So, Noah,” Sonya started, catching his attention, “I need you to do me a favor. Well, more so Hassan, but I’m asking you.”

“Which one?” he pondered, truly confused. Whenever Hassan was mentioned, no one knew exactly which one was the topic of discussion. Sonya laughed and pointed to where I was seated beside her.

“That BMW outside is his and it’s a little wrecked. So, would you mind fixing it up for him, for free?”

“I’m willin’ to pay for it if you need me to, though,” I intervened, not wanting to impose, “just take a look at it and let me know the damage.”

“Nah, it’s cool. After what you did for Sonya, this one’s on the house, my friend. That, and I need a project.” he snickered, fanning his hand as if it were no big deal. While I did have the money to tend to the damages, Lord knows I didn’t want to waste a dime on it. So, I was thankful that he came through.

“Good lookin’ out, man. I appreciate that.” I chuckled before we clinked our beers together.

“See? I told you.” Sonya simpered, nudging my arm. Saying nothing to that, I simply snickered and belted down what was remaining of my alcohol.

–

For about an hour and a half, we continued to talk and whatnot until at some point, Sonya disappeared with her son. Eventually, her other guests began leaving one by one until only Dave, Noah, and I remained. And, if it hadn’t been for Dedrick and Brooke, who asked me to play with them after spotting me outside taking a heated phone-call with Whitney, we would have been gone. It didn’t bother me, though, because I needed the distraction from her bullshit and kids always did the trick.

“Aight, aight, Brooke won that round,” I snickered while catching up to them near sliding glass-door, “how in the world are you so fast?”

“I dunno, I just am.” she giggled cutely while I wiped my forehead with my hand. I couldn’t believe that these two kids were running me ragged like this. It always amazed me how much energy children possessed.

“I’m fast, too. Right, Hassan?” Dedrick asked.

“You outran me, didn’t you? The both of ya’ll future track-stars.” I snickered, pulling my phone out of my pocket to see that it was nearing six-thirty. It was still somewhat light out, but it was drawing time for me to go home and get up on my studying.

“Are you Auntie Sonya’s boyfriend?” Brooke blurted at a random, stealing my attention from my phone. Dedrick looked up at me with the same goofy smile and inquiring eyes as his sister; I could tell that they were waiting to ask, despite their timing being off as hell.

“Uh, no. We’re just friends.”

“Oh, I thought you were her new boyfriend because Uncle Carter isn’t anymore.” she murmured, making me furrow my brow. Uncle Carter? Now, there was finally a name to the nigga that bailed on his girl and newborn baby.

“Uncle Carter, huh? So, that’s Hassan’s father?” I snooped, trying to get some insight on this guy. It felt wrong of me to be using them for information, but hell, I was curious about this man and Sonya had failed to mention anything to me. Aside from the minimal that she shared with me at the hospital, I knew nothing and for some reason, I wanted to know more.

“Yup, but we haven’t seen him in a long time. Auntie Sonya said he isn’t coming around anymore. She said he has a new job and it keeps him busy, like our Daddy.” Dedrick sighed as he picked up the Spalding basketball and bounced it against the patio cement.

“I heard Mommy and Auntie talking once and she was crying about it,” Brooke whispered to both me and her brother, “it was really sad.”

My meddling didn’t really answer any questions for me; I was still in the dark on why they weren’t together anymore and even more perplexed on why I cared so much. However, despite Sonya’s words, I felt that it was more complex than him just abandoning her and their son for no apparent reason. There had to be more to the story and Dedrick’s new job claim shone some light on it.

“I bet it was,” I sighed, feeling confusingly yet genuinely upset that Sonya was going through this shit, “c’mon, let’s go inside. I gotta go home soon.”

Luckily, the twins obliged on this attempt, as earlier I had tried to get them to go inside and instead, was tricked by pleads to continue playing.

Opening the sliding glass-door, I motioned for them to walk through as I followed behind.

“Did they tire you out?” Ebony chuckled as I closed the door behind me and took in the scene before me.

Dave was seated next to Ebony at the island, babysitting what appeared to be his third beer. Knowing that he and Ebony remained in that same spot at the table talking and shit after everyone had left was crazy. Not in a bad way, it was just that Dave could definitely be the introverted type and to see him actually socializing with someone was new.

“Yeah, they sure as hell gotta lotta energy in ‘em, too.” I snickered, leaning against the island as they waved at their mother before scurrying in search of their father.

“Tell me something I don’t know.” she giggled, shaking her head in the direction that they went.

“So, how old are they?” Dave pondered, redirecting her attention back to him.

“Just turned five in early September. It seems like it was just yesterday when I had them.” she chuckled, earning a light smile from Dave. Before either of us could add anything to the discussion, his phone notified him of a text-message.

“It’s Ruiz,” he grumbled, speaking to me before glancing down at the text-message again, “he needs me down at the shop ASAP.”

“Hm, sounds urgent. Guess that means you’re leaving now?” Ebony mumbled, almost sounding a little disappointed in the fact that he had to go. I furrowed my eyebrows at her tone and expression while he only chuckled smoothly and stood up from the island.

“Yeah, when work calls, I gotta answer. But, I’a be sure to see you around.” he smirked, eliciting a smile from her. Shaking my head, I redirected my gaze elsewhere. Dave was always doing some shit.

I didn’t understand why he was entertaining this woman, knowing that she was married. Furthermore, why was she entertaining him? Either way, I ruled it none of my business. Dave was going to do what he wanted to do, regardless of the matter so, it made no sense for me to get involved.

“Wait, where’s Sonya?” I pondered, wanting to at least say goodbye before I left. Knitting her neatly stenciled eyebrows together, Ebony tilted her head to the side.

“If she’s not in the living-room, then she’s probably in the nursery with Hassan.” she replied as I nodded and hiked in the direction of her pointed finger. Heading up the staircase, I passed the bathroom and stopped at the second room ahead, seeing her sitting in a rocking-chair with Hassan nestled in her arms.

While well out of her sight, I watched her as she stared lovingly at her newborn son. Breaking into a smile while she played with his little hand, she cooed and spoke to him in a hushed tone, while rhythmically rocking back and forth in the rocking-chair.

She looked so calm… and beautiful.

Snapping out of my admirable daze, I caught her eyes as I cleared my throat and stepped into the nursery. To my presence, she smiled warmly at me.

“Hey, I’m surprised you’re still here.”

“Yeah, your niece and nephew kinda held me captive for an hour.” I snickered as she did the same and shook her head.

“That sounds about right. They always prey on the newcomers because they’re the most naïve and never want to tell them no. I can bet they ran you around, didn’t they?” she smiled, bursting into chuckles when I nodded with honesty.

“I can’t even lie, they did,” I simpered, peering around the nursery, “so, li’l man livin’ lavish already, huh?”

The walls were powder-blue, immediately putting you in a tranquil state of mind. As soon as you walked in, there was a white cot in the middle of the room, stationed beside the tan rocking-chair that Sonya was occupying. The changing-table was across from that, fixedly placed near the doorway. There was a white, woven dresser to the right of the cot, that held two stuffed-animals. A matching bookshelf, which already housed some baby-books, was a few feet down from that. All in all, the room was well-decorated.

“Yeah, he’s already pretty spoiled,” she admitted, staring at the empty wall space above his changing-table, “I want to get those wooden letters to spell out his name and put it there. What do you think?”

“That’s a cool spot for it. So, I’m guessin’ you decorated the room yourself, huh?”

“Yeah, this was my hobby while I was pregnant. I’m nowhere near done, by the way. His room will be my little passion-project. I have so many ideas for it. There, in that binder.” she smiled, pointing to the black binder on his changing-table. With a smile, I picked it up and opened it. There were color-palettes with variations of blue, Post-It notes with little handwritten tips and ideas, printed pages of furniture, stuffed animals, and equipment that she wanted to buy.

“Really? A chandelier?” I chuckled, making her giggle.

“It’s just a thought. All of those are thoughts that I probably won’t implement anytime soon. Well, maybe the mobiles and the hamper that I printed out, but not the chandelier. I think that might be too much.” she admitted while I continued to flick through the binder. When approached with a yellow Post-It tab, I flipped the page and saw her plans for the living-room. Similar to that of the nursery section in the binder, it was scattered with different ideas and pictures.

“This is more than just a hobby to you,” I mumbled, glancing up from the binder to make eye-contact with her, “this is your dream. I can feel the passion through the pages.”

“It is. I love interior-design. I went to school for it and everything.”

“So, that must be your job, then?” I asked, furrowing my brow when she chuckled and shook her head no.

“I wish. I work… well, as of now, I don’t work. But, before getting pregnant, I juggled bartending, blackjack dealing, and serving.” she revealed, surprising me. I assumed that Sonya worked in a more sheltered, office-type environment. She just didn’t seem like the nightlife kind of woman.

“Do you like what you did for a living?” I pondered, my previous thoughts hauling that question out of me.

“Well, sometimes. I mean, would I rather be doing something else? Of course. But, this is convenient and the money’s easy. I do wish to really take interior-design seriously someday, but now that I have Hassan, I don’t know how easy that transition will be.”

“It’ll definitely be tough, but if you want it bad enough, you’ll aim for it,” I told her, feeling the need to continue, “I’m tryin’a maintain that same mindset for the restaurant, too. Sometimes I be wantin’ to give up, but I done got this far. Ain’t no point in backin’ out now. You put in the years for school, you might as well utilize that degree. Just don’t let it go to waste, you know?”

“Yeah,” she said softly before smiling at me, “it’s definitely something that I want for me and Hassan. I don’t wanna be out at all these hours of the night when I should be home with him. We both deserve better than that.”

“You do.” I murmured, catching her gaze soon after I said that. Though the moment seemed natural on my end, it must have been awkward for her because she cleared her throat and diverted her eyes.

“So, uh, thanks for coming here today and hanging out with me and my people. You’re like a savior to them, too, so believe me, they were just as honored as me to have you.” she smiled. To be honest, I was through with hearing about anything related to the delivery and moreover, I was through with being praised for it. I was just thankful that both Sonya and Hassan were good.

“Listen, if we gon’ have a friendship of some sort, you have got to stop wit’ this talk. You’ve thanked me enough, Sonya. I did what anyone would have done, or tried to do. Now, promise me that we won’t talk about it again.” I stated before she shook her head in defiance.

“Nope, I cannot promise you that. You don’t know it, but you being there on that day, at that moment, will forever mean the world to me. I was terrified and there was a lotta shit weighing down on me. You know, from coming to grips that I was a single mother, to not really knowing my place in this world. I hide it well, but I was and still am very lost and afraid. And, at my most desperate and vulnerable moment, you were there. It’s something that I will never forget and always bring up when the time calls for it. I feel that I can’t thank you enough.”

Hearing that gave me insight on just how much I impacted her life by being there for her when she needed someone the most. So, as humble as I wanted to be about the situation, it was clear that she was affected in ways that I could not imagine and if she felt the need to often express it, I could understand that.

“Okay, no promises, then,” I chuckled, “I know that, uh, you’re going through some things and I’m just glad that I was there to help when you really needed it. If anything, I’m honored that you think so highly of me when I think so highly of you. Wit’ what you’re facin’, you maintain such a cool composure for your family and friends and that’s somethin’ to admire.”

“I try. I hate having them always worry about me,” she murmured before glancing at the bedroom window, “it’s starting to get dark.”

“Is that your way of tryin’a kick me out?” I smirked as she laughed and shook her head.

“No, I just don’t wanna keep you any longer. I’m sure you have things to do.” she murmured as she placed her son inside of his bassinet.

“Unfortunately. I gotta hit the books tonight. So, I’ma see around?” I asked, not really knowing how things would progress between us. If things had gone differently, this would have been our final encounter, but it just didn’t seem like the end for us.

“I hope so.” she admitted as I engulfed her in a hug. As we pulled away, we both heard the faint sound of a phone ringing from the other bedroom.

“Oh, that’s me.”

“Aight, handle that and I’a let myself out. I’m sure.” I chuckled when she seemed to have hesitated. Then, she broke into a smile and nodded her head.

“Okay. Bye, Hassan.

“Peace.” I simpered as we both ventured in different directions. As I jogged downstairs and turned the corner, I spotted Aaron still seated in the living-room with his kids and Noah.

“Aight, catch you later, my man,” I grumbled, throwing Aaron a nod in which he returned before smiling at the kids, “see ya’ll later. Be good, aight?”

“Okay.” the twins smiled in unison as they both slapped their small hands within mine for a high-five.

“I should have your car fixed up in about three days, my guy.” Noah assured as we dapped up one another.

“It’s no rush. I’ll still be able to get around so, don’t even stress yourself wit’ it.” I rumbled, not wanting to put him on a schedule. After I handed him the keys and we exchanged numbers, I went in search for Dave.

Peering into the kitchen, I furrowed my eyes when I noticed that Dave and Ebony were no longer there. Something told me to head towards the front-door and outside, I saw Dave taking his phone back from Ebony, who wore a seductive grin on her face.

“This fool.” I muttered as I watched him continue to flirt around with a married woman. I knew that I said it wasn’t any of my business, but I was gon’ make it my business to talk to him about it.

“Aight, I’a be sure to hit you up,” he smirked at her, turning his attention to me after I opened the front-door, “aye, you ready?”

“Yeah. See you later, Ebony.” I said, giving her a side-hug before pulling away.

“See ya, Hassan. Bye, Dave.” she sang, waving at him.

“Peace.” he rumbled with less enthusiasm than her before he turned to follow my lead to his car. Before I could get on him about what he was doing, he started talking first.

“Yo, why you ain’t tell me that shit?” he blurted, forcing me to furrow my brow at his random outburst.

“Tell you what, nigga?”

“That she named the baby after you.”

I shrugged.

“I mean, I wasn’t bein’ secretive about it. I just omitted from mentionin’ it ‘cause I ain’t think it was that important.” I said honestly, watching as he hit a button on his key-pad and the headlights flashed, indicating that the doors were unlocked.

“Nigga, how is that not important?” he exclaimed as soon as we both jumped inside of his car.

“Why you so moved over it? It’s just a name.” I snickered. I was floored that she had named her son after me, but I wasn’t alarmed by it like Dave and Whitney were. I understood the sentiment behind it and appreciated the gesture. It wasn’t like him having my first name made him my son or some shit.

“Yeah, your name. How you bein’ so nonchalant over it?” he inquired as I watched Noah get inside of my car, prepared to take it to his shop.

“David, it’s not that serious,” I said, watching him lightly kiss his teeth and lower his eyes at me when I sarcastically called him by his full first-name, “but, while we askin’ questions, is you gon’ tell me why you really wanted her boy to fix my car? ‘Cause that shit you told me earlier ain’t add up.”

“Well,” he began, turning the key and making the engine come to life, “‘cause I think you should pursue that. The whole car situation would give you more of a reason to be around her. I was just lookin’ out. So, no thanks necessary.”

“You damn right no thanks necessary. I got a girl.”

“Yeah, that’s just what she is. A girl. Sonya’s a woman. Hey, listen, I ain’t gon’ pressure you to make the right move. I’m just sayin’ make ya’ next move ya’ best move. Na’mean,” he snickered, nudging me as I side-eyed him and raised an eyebrow, “and, it kinda seem like she feelin’ you, too. No?”

Thinking on our previous interactions, I moved my head in a so-so motion. She wasn’t being flirtatious, or throwing herself at me, but I could see why Dave would believe she may have had some attraction to me. I just didn’t feel that it was for all the right reasons, though.

“Yeah, but it’s only ‘cause I delivered her son. It’s like, blind attraction. She’s displacin’ her feelings ‘cause of that shit. It’s not comin’ from a genuine place.”

“If that’s what you think, then I’ma gon’ head and leave it alone. But, if I were you, I wouldn’t pass that up.” he confessed, blankly staring down at the Rolex on his wrist.

“That’s how you feel ‘bout her sister?” I questioned, addressing the topic of him and Ebony. Snickering, he shook his head and swiped a palm down his mouth.

“A li’l bit, but not too heavy,” he said before releasing a deep laugh, “she got some potential, though, wit’ her fine-ass.”

“Yo, you do know she has a husband, right? The one that was right in the house wit’ their two children? The one that you met?”

“And? What that mean? That ain’t stop her from flirtin’ wit’ a nigga. She bored wit’ her relationship anyway, she basically told me. Her man spend more time at his job than wit’ his wife and kids. He literally pushin’ her into the arms of any man willin’ to take her.”

“So, that makes it aight for you to entertain her?”

“Man, don’t be preachin’ nothin’ to me,” he grumbled, fanning his hand at me, “I ain’t gon’ do nothin’ that she ain’t gon’ allow me to.”

“Whatever, D. I just think it’s foul that you poucin’ on a woman’s vulnerability like that.” I rumbled, pointing at him as he only shook his head.

“I am not. So, I’m droppin’ you off at Whit’s?” he asked, changing the subject because he knew that I was right. I snickered at that before responding.

“Uh, nah. We ain’t speakin’ right now and I got studyin’ to catch up on. I can’t be bothered wit’ it tonight. Just take me home.” I grumbled before he nodded. For the most part, the ride to my apartment was silent as we mulled over whatever was on our minds.

SONYA

“I love these onesies, Ebs.” I chuckled, holding up a red one that had black direction arrows labeling the arm and leg holes, with the phrase, you can do this printed in the center. She had a lot of silly onesies that belonged to Dedrick and now, belonged to Hassan.

“Mom bought him that one,” she snickered before throwing another red cup into the garbage, “it always amazes me how after a get-together, there’s always more cups left than people invited. And, why don’t people throw away shit?”

“‘Cause they figure someone else would do it. You don’t even have to clean everything, Ebony. I’ll do some tomorrow.” I assured. The guests didn’t make too much of a mess, but the house definitely needed a thorough cleaning. Being that I was in no condition to clean while I was pregnant, things weren’t the way that I usually liked them. But now, I could fix it up with no problem.

“You are not cleaning this house, Sonya. And, don’t think I didn’t hear you telling Deidra about moving some things around, either. You’re supposed to be on bed-rest and bonding with your son.” she nagged, forcing a soft chuckle from me. I hated consistency so, I was always renovating and decorating around my house. My house was my personal project; it kept me inspired and entertained.

“Yes, ma’am.” I stretched like a scolded child. Shaking her head, she simply laughed at me and continued throwing away the used plastic dishes. With Hassan nestled comfortably and carefully in my arm, I fished through some of the other baby-clothes that she had given me

“So… I see you and Dave were getting really acquainted with one another. What was that all about?” I asked, attempting to spark some conversation. In return, she playfully rolled her eyes and smiled.

For a majority of the evening, she were chatting up a storm with him with Aaron right there. Now, I wasn’t saying that she wasn’t allowed to have male friends with a husband around, but she knew how men were these days. Although I couldn’t detect it, I knew Aaron probably felt some kind of way about her smiling and giggling with a man that wasn’t him. As her sister, I didn’t really think too much of it; she just seemed so enamoured by Dave that I had to ask.

“Oh, please. He’s not even my type. Too thuggish for me. And, besides,” she smirked, flashing her pear-shaped engagement-ring, “I’m already taken.”

“That never stopped anyone before,” I snickered as she kissed her teeth and went back to cleaning, “so, what were you two even talking about?”

“Well, he’s a tattoo-artist and I’ve been telling Aaron for the longest that I would get his name tattooed right here, on my lower-back. I just wanted to know the pain-level for that area and he said it isn’t so bad. But, then again, he has fifteen-thousand tattoos,” she exaggerated through a giggle while wiping down the countertop, “he said he’ll do it, though.”

“Oh, so you’re actually getting Aaron’s name?”

“I’m not sure, but it’s an idea. What’s wrong with that?”

“I mean… nothing. I just think it’s unnecessary, you know? What if you two split up? Then, you have a tramp-stamp on your lower-back of a nigga you aren’t even with.” I chuckled, reflecting on the time that Carter had almost convinced me to get matching-tattoos with him. I thanked God that I didn’t go along with the plan because that ink on my skin would have lasted much longer than we did.

“That isn’t going to happen.” she muttered just before Aaron ventured into the room with their two sleepy children in tow.

“Hey. He looks just like you, Sonya.” he smiled, peering at his nephew who lied awake in my arms. Brooke and Dedrick followed behind, smiling at the baby, too.

“I know, right? Ain’t he blessed?” I joked, making him erupt into chuckles.

“Auntie, can Hassan come over again sometime?” Dedrick asked, stealing my attention. Sighing, I pursed my lips together and shrugged. I wasn’t too sure that Hassan would come around for the sake of my niece and nephew, but I didn’t want to crush their hopes, either.

“I’m not so sure, baby. We’ll have to see if he can come around when he isn’t busy. Did you have fun with him today?”

“Yeah, we played Hide-N-Seek, Tag, and he taught us how to play Man Hunt, too! He said that maybe next time, he can show me how to throw a spiral with the football.”

“Yeah, and he told me to bring my bike so, he can help me take the training-wheels off and teach me how to ride without them.” Brooke added, forcing me to glance at Ebony, who shrugged, and Aaron, who appeared confused.

“He said that?” I asked with an eyebrow raised. Hassan didn’t seem like the type to make broken promises, especially to children so, I didn’t know what to think.

“Well, he said maybe, if we see him again. That’s why we asked can he come back.” Brooke explained before I glanced up at Aaron, who appeared stumped by their eagerness for Hassan to return.

“Princess, why didn’t you just ask me to teach you how to ride the bike? And you, too, Dedrick. We have a football at the house, I can show you how to throw.” Aaron stated, furrowing his eyebrow.

In no way did I think he felt that his family was being snagged from him. He just seemed confused as to why his own children, who normally came to him for things like that, were relying on a man that they had only met once, and didn’t know if they were even seeing again.

“‘Cause you’re never home when we get home from school anymore, Daddy. I’ve been asking about the training-wheels for a long time.” Brooke exaggerated, making me snicker. I watched as Ebony crossed her arms, probably waiting to see how her husband would handle this problem. She had been complaining to him that he was missing out with the children, but Aaron claimed that the weekends allowed him more than enough time to provide his family with the attention that they needed. What he didn’t take into account was the fact that he slept his family-time away because he was so damn tired from his hectic weekday hours.

“This weekend, Daddy promises to do both of those things with you, okay? I’ve just been a li’l busy wit’ work and stuff. We can even go to the movies on Saturday, too.” he smiled, making them jump and down in excitement.

“Don’t get too ambitious now.” Ebony muttered, believing that no one heard her, but Aaron and I both looked her way. I held an expression of shock; he appeared aggravated.

“Please, not right now, Ebs.” he exhaled while the kids were discussing which movie they wanted to see. She rolled her eyes and continued wiping down the countertop. In the midst of the awkward moment, the only thing that I could think about was why the hell was she flaunting her ring, and further than that, why would she want to get his name tattooed if they were going through this shit? But, to each his own.

–

Since I was feeling tired and a wee-bit uncomfortable with the tension between Aaron and Ebony, I told her that I would go back to the bedroom to breastfeed Hassan. I had never seen them argue about anything, especially something as ongoing and potentially damaging as this. It was weird for me to be around.

While cartoons played on my TV, I slowly caressed one hand down Hassan’s back and with the other, I busied myself with my phone. Releasing a laugh at something that Ashley posted on her Instagram, I was surprised to see a text-message come through from Carter. I hadn’t spoken to him since the day before and again, I was reminded of the money that he had given me. Sighing, I opened it.

why you didn’t tell me you were discharged?

Frowning, I formed a response.

didn’t know i had to.

Immediately after my text sent through, the three dots appeared, indicating that he was already responding, and it was probably something smart. I did not feel like going back and forth with this boy.

shit, it would’ve been nice to know. i stopped by with my mother because she wanted to see you and Hassan. we brought you food and everything.

do you always have to be so damn inconsiderate?

“Uh-uh, he is not about to…” I muttered while ferociously replying to his text-message.

you should be the last one calling anybody inconsiderate when you have a whole ass CHILD that you refuse to father. but go on.

I knew that, that would trigger his anger, but hell, it was the truth. Had he informed me that he was stopping by the hospital, instead of just showing up as if we were on good terms, I would have made it a priority for Monica to see Hassan. I just didn’t understand how leaving the hospital without telling him made me the inconsiderate one.

fuck outta here tryin’a reverse the situation! my mother wants to see her grandson and she has a right to!

Just as I read that text-message, Ebony was entering my bedroom. Not paying her the slightest bit of mind, I typed my response.

i never said she couldn’t! just have her stop by tmrw WITHOUT you and she can see him. problem solved.

“Who are you texting? Looking all grumpy.” she muttered, closing my bedroom door behind her. I glanced up, thin eyebrows still knitted in frustration.

“Carter. I swear, he aggravates my whole life.”

“Oh, his punk-ass. What happened?” she asked, but I ignored it for the time being as he texted me back. Plus, I needed to give her a run-down of the hospital-visit before I revealed anything else.

i’ll stop by if i want to. that’s my son too.

“He’s just being a pain in the ass. I don’t even know why he’s texting me.” I mumbled as I fed into his bullshit.

yeah, a son that you didn’t want to claim. don’t be using my son as a way to be around me.

As opposed to the idea of our baby that Carter was, he had me truly convinced that he wanted nothing to do with him or me. So, with that in mind, I couldn’t understand why he wanted to be around now. The only thing that I pulled from this confusion was that he just wanted to have me in his life, somehow, someway, and I didn’t like that.

and you don’t be using him as a way to stay away from me.

“Hello, what happened?” Ebony pondered, placing her hands on her hips. Considering the conversation between Hassan and I done, I placed my phone down and turned my attention towards my sister. Just as I opened my mouth to respond, it clamped shut and I furrowed my brow in confusion.

“Where’s Aaron and the kids?” I pondered, abruptly changing the subject. It wasn’t a purposeful attempt, as I really wanted to tell her about Carter and his bullshit. But, I was curious.

“Aaron took them home. He claimed that I was taking too long and he was tired so, I told him to go. I swear, Sonny, he’s been working my nerve lately and I’ve been trying to be understanding so, we can make things work, but he’s pushing me.” she admitted, kicking off her sneakers. While carefully holding Hassan against my chest, I slid aside and patted the bed for her.

“Well, you know these hours are weighing down on him. It’ll be fine as long as you two stay mindful of each other and the kids.” I assured as she laid down beside me.

“Sure, sure. Now, spill the beans.” she chuckled, clearly not in the mood to discuss her own family matters.

“Well, it all started on Saturday when Carter stopped by the hospital a little after you and Mom left. He–”

“What? And, you’re just now telling me?”

“Oh, get a grip. I had plans to tell you. I needed to digest what happened first. Just listen,” I huffed, “he stopped by and basically told me that whether I want him to or not, he will be around for Hassan… financially, that is. He gave me three-thousand dollars and promises to do so every other month. Oh, and he told me that he needs time before he can accept that he’s a father. Only God knows when that’ll be, but when reality hits, he says he promises to be an active father and boyfriend.”

She was silent for a moment before speaking.

“Even though money won’t make up for his bullshit, I think you should take it for Hassan. Being a single-mother is hard enough as is so, do what you gotta do. Most mothers have to take the child support route, but him willingly contributing without you having to drag his ass to court every other month is good. Now, boyfriend? I don’t know about that one.”

“Me neither. I’m not interested,” I mumbled before thinking over that response, “okay, I would be lying to you if I said there weren’t any feelings still there.”

“Sonya, are you serious? This man left you high and dry for nine months when you were pregnant with his baby. There should be no feelings there at all.” she riposted as I kissed my teeth. I always valued my sister’s advice, but she could be extremely misunderstanding. There were times where I just wanted an ear from her, but Ebony didn’t know how to give anything besides tough-love and judgement. Still, that never stopped me from trying to get my point across.

“I get that, Ebs, but he’s my son’s father. If it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t even have Hassan. I don’t know, I just think… maybe he was scared of the idea of being a father. I mean, before the pregnancy, he was a good man, Ebs. He was really good to me and then, all of this responsibility between owning the casino and having a baby on the way just switched him up. Now, I’m not saying it’s right, but I’m starting to understand his mindset. Listen, I’m stuck with this man for the next eighteen years–fuck that–for as long as my son lives, I’m stuck with this man. I would be willing to make things right, or at least be on cordial grounds with Carter for the sake of Hassan.”

Another deep silence entered the room as she digested my words.

“I still feel nothing but hatred towards that man, despite all that. I understand that you want to do everything in the best interest of Hassan, but for you to even think about taking him back is bizarre. Ya’ll don’t need to be together for Hassan to be a happy kid. I mean, have you ever heard of co-parenting?”

“Yes… but, I’m just saying that if he changed, or reverted back to how he used to be, I wouldn’t mind trying. I don’t want to rule out the possibility.” I said as she shook her head in disappointment.

“That’s just letting him know that no matter how big the fuck-up, given that this one takes the cake, he can always count on you to take him back. He’ll never learn.” she said, emphasizing her last three words.

“I wouldn’t make it easy for him.”

“You sure?” she asked cryptically while raising a brow.

“And, what’s that supposed to mean?”

“You always had a weak-spot for him and having a baby with him just makes it all that much weaker. I mean, two days ago, you wanted nothing to do with the guy. Now, he actually has you thinking about a foreseeable reconciliation? You had on a whole front all this time.” she chuckled as I eyed her with a glare.

“I’m trying to be mature about the situation. For one, we have a son and I will not deprive them both of a relationship that they should have. Two, forgiveness is everything. It won’t be easy, but I’m willing. We need to be on the same page before there could be effective co-parenting. And, I feel that once we get on that same page, feelings might resurface and there’s nothing wrong with that. Especially if he redeems himself.”

“Alright, Sonya. I see you’re headstrong about it and I can’t tell you anything. You’re a grown-woman. In which case, we’ll just agree to disagree.” she said, dismissing the issue while opening the portal to another one in the same breath.

“Can’t you ever be supportive?” I blurted, forcing us to make eye-contact before she kissed her teeth.

“Oh, so now I’m unsupportive because I don’t want to see my sister getting hurt again?”

“I’m not saying that. I just think that you should at least try to see where I’m coming from. You’re so hell-bent on hating him that it’s clouding your better judgement. I don’t like the nigga all the time, either. Trust me. But, at the end of the day, my kid comes before all that animosity.”

“So, for Hassan, you have to put up with Carter’s bullshit? You talking about my judgement, yours is fuckin’ warped.” she argued, missing the entire point.

“Just forget it. You don’t see it and there is no part of me that feels like explaining it again.” I mumbled, growing irritated with her altogether. If I wanted sympathy and understanding, I wouldn’t be getting it from her so, there was no point in trying to get through to her anymore.

“I was done anyway.” she mumbled as I rolled my eyes.

“Whatever.” I muttered, fanning her off as I positioned Hassan a little better on my busty chest.

“Ditto,” she whispered, staring aimlessly at the ceiling before turning her head and smiling at Hassan, “he’s so damn cute. I’m proud of you, sis.”

“For having a baby?” I chuckled.

“No, for having a baby and being so strong throughout the whole thing, despite everything. I know you had your doubts and probably still do, but you’re going to do great. With or without Carter. I know I can be a bitch when it comes to him, but I just don’t want you to feel like you can’t handle it by yourself. I know you wouldn’t want to, but you can, Sonya. You’re stronger than everyone thinks.”

“Thanks, Ebs.” I sighed, sending her a genuine smile. It was funny how we could go from arguing, to making up in the matter of a mere second. Our sisterly bond was just that powerful.

“Did you have fun tonight?” she inquired. Releasing a light, sleepy chuckle, I nodded my head and slowly licked over my lips.

“Yeah, it was great,” I smiled, peering at Hassan, who was lying drowsily awake on my chest as I caressed his back, “it felt good to come home to so much support and love, you know? I needed that.”

“I know you did, kid,” she grinned, tucking her hands behind her head and crossing her legs at the ankles, “so… Hassan?”

“He’s fine. He’s just about ready to go to sleep since–”

“Not that Hassan, fool,” she muttered after kissing her teeth at my oblivion, “the other Hassan.”

“Oh… what about him?”

“That’s what I’m tryin’a figure out. Do you like him?” she pondered, forcing me to slit my eyes at her before rolling them in annoyance. Ah, here we go.

“Why can’t a man and a woman ever be friends without that kind of suspicion? I mean, seriously.”

“Why so defensive? I just asked a question.”

“Because,” I huffed before shaking my head, “no, I don’t like him. Maybe as friends, but we’re not even that so, I don’t know exactly how to answer your question. I like him as a person, I guess.”

“Oh my God, what a political answer,” she giggled, forcing me to do likewise, “okay, I’ll take that.”

“Good, because that’s all you were getting.” I sighed, yawning tiredly. Seconds of silence filled the room before Ebony broke it again.

“He’s good with kids.” she quipped, more than likely referring to Hassan. I furrowed my brow, figuring that there was more underlying her comment than just pure observation.

“Okay.” I dragged before she chuckled.

“I’m just saying. If things were to go past… whatever this is between ya’ll two, little Hassan wouldn’t be much of an interference. I know you talking about fixing things with your baby-daddy, but he seems like such a great guy. Most men stay away from mothers, but he seems comfortable with it. Plus, he delivered little Hassan. That bond between all three of ya’ll is already special.” she said, sounding so sure of herself. Taking my eyes off of the ceiling that I was staring at and to her face, I snickered.

“Okay, firstly, he has a girlfriend, whom I’ve met days ago. Secondly, I’m not interested. I got enough problems. And thirdly, I’ll probably never see him again after today,” I argued as she pursed her lips together unconvincingly, “I’m serious, Eb. The only reason he was around today was to get his keys and then, chill for a bit. After Noah fixes his car, that’s it. From here on out, he’ll be nothing but a memory and I’m totally cool with that.”

#therighttime

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