#i shouldn't have to feel this way why is it interfering with my Life

[blitz0hno]

Physical flashbacks are so weird like "hey the body and amygdala want you to know! *you involuntarily recoil as if the Pain is happening despite there being no actual physical pain*"

And then you have to act like nothing just happened because technically nothing actually happened???? Like how is this helpful

[crownmemes]

Angry & Irritated Sentences, Vol. 20

(Angry and irritated sentences from various sources. Adjust phrasing where needed)

"Why do I get a feeling that no isn't an option here?"

"I have limited tolerance for being ambushed."

"You may not realise this, but I've been pretty damn patient with you already."

"I don't know who you are or who you work for, but I don't care. I'm leaving."

"Now see here, if you're going to make personal remarks, then I won't stay a minute."

"You just slide through life, don't you? And everything just slides off you."

"What? Is there some rule against having fun?"

"Don't be an asshole. Do you want to hear this or not?"

"I don't have to tell you who I've slept with!"

"I suppose you think you're very clever."

"Yeah, whatever. I have enough belief for both of us, okay?"

"That was a really stupid thing to do!"

"These people trusted you and you betrayed them!"

"It is nobody's business how old I am!"

"I'm competing for your attention again, aren't I?"

"Ignoring the truth doesn't make it a lie."

"Now, I'm not calling you dumb. I'm just saying that some of the things you do are dumb!"

"You were doing so well. Now you're being simply foolish."

"I will not be spoken to this way!"

"You are good, but you're not that good."

"You know, your arrogance is one of the big reasons why you're not further ahead with your career."

"You're following me. I don't care to be followed."

"You shouldn't have interfered. You'll pay for this."

"You keep promising that, but I don't see anything happening!"

"I can take care of myself just fine, alright?"

"I wonder if you even know you're lying."

"I like to keep my private life private, okay?"

"I know what you're doing. I also know it's going to get you killed."

"Notice how I didn't need to lower myself to your level?"

"Shh, don't talk! I want to hear what happens!"

"One day, you will wake up and wonder 'why is my life such a completely chaotic mess?'."

"I appreciate this concern, but I'm not like you, alright?"

"Are you trying to embarrass me?"

"I'm not going to take lectures on professionalism from you!"

"You just had to keep digging. You couldn't let it go, could you?"

"Of all the lies people tell themselves, I bet that's the most common."

"This is none of my business. I don't want to hear it."

"The fact that you won't explain explains everything."

"You're working way too hard to piss me off. It makes me think you're hiding something."

"I'm old, not stupid."

[generalhumancloudalmond]

idk if requests r open or not but i was wondering about platonic yandere chuuya and dazai rivalry? i think its a cool concept and if u could do it thanks!

Hello, yes, I can do it. Thank you for your request!

...

The brother you deserve

Platonic!Yandere!Brother!Dazai x Child!Fem!Reader x Platonic!Yandere!Chuuya

"Your brother such the asshole, you know..."

Honestly, Chuuya was right in a way. Your brother is very peculiar and in many situations could not show himself very well, even in relation to you. But even so, you knew that Dazai cared about you,

if only because he always pulled you out of any trouble you encountered. And because of your naivety and inexperience, you often encountered some troubles.

"Don't say that! Dazai is the best brother."

"Yeah, of course he is..."

Chuuya spat out caustically, looking away from you. In his head, like many who knew you and Dazai, it just didn't fit how you and he could be siblings. You, who will not leave anyone in trouble, and he, the one who drives into this trouble. However, even more it did not fit into his head how such a mistake of nature like Dazai managed to become a better brother, he probably used some tricks. And to be honest, even despite Chuuya's biased attitude towards his new partner, he was right.

"Where does this mummy even go?"

"Calm down, Chuuya."

Your small hand gently touches his sleeve and you still smile at him. Eventually, Chuuya falls to you on the bench when you move away a little, giving him more space. You saw that he was worried, and also knew the reason for this concern. You felt sorry for him.

"You know, I do not know how it is when you worry about your friends when they are in danger, but it is probably as much unpleasant as you see a person hanging himself. And this is already familiar to me. That's why I feel sorry for you."

Chuuya shuddered. This phrase reminded him again why he began to trust you so quickly, even despite the fact that you are from the mafia. You're a kid who says their true thoughts. Unlike your brother, you are open.

Then the Sheep King didn't voice his thoughts about your brother, knowing in advance how you would react to them. However, he knew that he was better suited to the role of your brother than Dazai. This suicidal maniac just doesn't understand how lucky he is to have you.

At the same time you knew that people don't hang themselves from a good life. And that for several hours they stare at the ceiling not from happiness. You have a pity for brother and you love him.

"Y/n, I..."

Chuuya reached out to you to feel sorry for you, but Dazai grabbed his wrist sharply and painfully.

"Hey! Chuuya, what do you think you're doing! She is my sister!"

"And what?! What does that mean that I can't even hug her?!"

"This means that you can't even breathe in her direction! Know your place!"

"What did you just say?! She doesn't even have friends because of a brother like you!"

They had a verbal altercation...again. You, as usual, just watched it. At least, they didn't require you to intervene to resolve the conflict.

Dazai knew that Chuuya was interfering where he shouldn't have. Namely, in your brotherly and sisterly relationship. The mafioso immediately noticed this. He saw the admiration in your eyes when you watched Chuuya make a paper crane fly. He saw with what accuracy and uncertainty you approach the Sheep King and take his sleeve. Dazai sees everything.

Chuuya feel Dazai infuriating him. Infuriates his cunning, his quibbles. It's infuriating that he has a sister like you and he doesn't appreciate it. It's infuriating that Dazai, being a disgusting brother, doesn't allow him to become for you a brother what you deserve. And Chuuya is furious to the point of gnashing his teeth that Dazai owns you.

[theelkmaiden]

So I've been thinking.

If Captain Marvel is the Champion of Magic, does that mean he has to play by the rules of all magic? Demon, fea, pixie etc.? Because if you owe something to one of those, things tend to go wrong. Fae can take your children, pixies can make your life hell, demons can literally take your souls.

So what if Billy Batson, being the sweet boy he is, keeps doing people favours? Now, he'd never take a child or cause someone chaos, as that means actually interfering, but souls? That boy could definitely be having people sign their souls away to him and he has no idea.

The first time he did someone a favour after the wizard granted him his powers, Billy was overtaken by a surge of tingles that tasted vaguely of rotten eggs. The feeling only lasted a second, but he couldn't stop thinking about it for the rest of the day. All he did was help Old Linda from the block over carry a bag of food to her place of residence. That was it. But after the tingling, Billy felt like he was connected to her in some way, on a deep and intimate level that didn't make sense.

And then it kept happening.

Helping to paint his neighbours room. Helping a girls cat from a tree. Letting a lost child sleep in his abandoned apartment overnight.

And later, bringing Batman a coffee after a long mission. Teaching Green Arrow the basics of pickpocketing. Spotting Flash on his running form.

Anytime someone said "can I ask you a (quick) favour" the tingling and eggs would come and Captain Marvel had no idea what it was or why it happened.

That is.

Until Old Linda died.

It had been a long patrol for Captain Marvel. There was a crime wave almost every year around July, like clockwork. Mainly teenagers getting in with gangs and trying to prive their worth now that school was out (or, at least, that was Cap's theory).

He was just touching down near his building to transform when he felt an entirely unique sensation. The tingling he was so familiar with came crashing over him in a wave so intense the demigod found himself wobbling where he stood, garnering a few concerned stares by citizens. The part of him that had been connected to Linda had snapped into place and, without even having to doue check, Billy knew for a fact that Old Linda was dead.

He also knew where to find her.

Drawing on his magic, Captain Marvel opened a portal to a corner of the Rock of Eternity ans stepped through.

There, on the otherside, stood the kind old woman who would often give him food if she had any left over.

"Excuse me, sir?" She asked, looking rather fearful, "would you mind telling me where I am?"

With eyes already misting, Marvel closed the portal and stepped towards her with his arms out in a calming manner.

"Linda. I'm so sorry. You're in the Rock of Eternity. You shouldn't be here but I think it's my fault you are," he was swallowed thickly, putting every ounce of self control he had to the test to bit show how distraught he was with this development.

Clearly seeing his distress, Linda calmed and gripped the Captains arm in a consoling manner. "I'm sure it's quiet alright, dear. Why don't you tell me what happened and then you can return me home. And then you can explain to me all about this place, hmm?"

Her small smile fell when the captain did not immediately react to her request.

"Miss Linda," Billy tried, not feeling very much like a superhero at that moment I time, "I'm so so sorry! I shouldn't have helped you with the food. But I just wanted to do something good. And now you're stuck here forever and I don't know how to free you and there's so many people that are going to come here and I didn't mean to!"

The hulking form of Captain Marvel was now a kneeling, sobbing mess as the twelve year old realised what he had done. The feeling of rightness that sang in his magic at Linda standing within the Rock of Eternity. The pull of what he now knew to be souls pulling him in different directions. The fact that he had only been trying to help.

"Now dear," Linda kneeled next to him, patting his shoulder in confused concern, "I assure you I have no idea what you're going on about. I've seen you flying overhead and fighting monsters, but we've never met officially past today. But if I'm stuck here forever, then at least I'll have company. Now, come, dry your eyes and get up. You need to explain to me what's going on." The mum of four in her seemed to have taken over as she dragged the massive man up to his feet and the stood on her toes to wipe his cheeks with the sleeve of her cardigan.

Taking a deep breath, Captain Marvel nodded. "Miss Linda. You are dead. I'm sorry. I accidently own your soul and I don't know how to release you to go somewhere better. And you're only the first person that's going to arrive here. This is completely new for me and I'm not sure what to do. This place is my home so you are welcome to explore and make yourself comfortable. But it's not much."

The silence that followed was deafening as Linda contemplated her situation. It stretched on until a look of resolve made its way onto the old souls face.

"Okay."

"Okay? Is that it?"

"Well you are obviously very distressed so it was definitely an accident. But I am not staying somewhere that looks so dull for the rest of Eternity. You and I are going to be doing some redecorating. How big is this place?"

"Infinite."

"Then this shan't be an issue. We can build a lovely garden where we can all stay until you get this figured out. Besides, it'll give me something to do."

So, he did. Captain Marvel (who Linda learned to be Billy Batson) got to work and transformed a large section of the Cave into a garden, with strict directions from Linda.

Over time, more people joined and Linda took it upon herself to greet the newcomers and explain what had gone on. Many people were unhappy, but soon settled into their afterlife and making friends.

After awhile, Billy took Linda aside and granted her a Boon. One of her choosing. She chose "to be the peacekeeper of this little afterlife. I want to help comfort those here who miss their old lives. I try, I do, but a little magical help wouldn't go amiss." And so she became the Peacekeeper.

In the outside realm, when Captain Marvel explained to Batman, Green Arrow, and The Flash that he accidently owned their souls, well, let's just say that shitshow lasted a while.

[rpstartersinc]

* 𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐌 ( 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐕 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒. )

feel free to change pronouns / wording!

" it started with a simple choice, escape or die. "

" he almost killed you last time, didn't he? "

" what about me? you gotta take me with you. "

" i really didn't have a choice. "

" you haven't escaped anything unless you go on to something. "

" the first thing i noticed was the smell. "

" just like day follows night, every man succumbs to his nature. "

" you're lucky i was here. "

" maybe you're my guardian angel. "

" you can stand to eat a meal if you must, you can stand to make love if you're able, but it's impossible to stand and drink, it's the act of a barbarian, an animal at the watering hole. "

" you talk too much. "

" i walked here barefoot 'cause a guy came in my shoes. "

" people will be fascinated with your story. "

" it takes a prick to know one. "

" this is the place they were thinking about when they invented the word 'the pits'. "

" i like that you haven't asked what this is for. "

" you don't think people can change? "

" you're a good listener, it's dangerous - because it's so hard to resist being listened to. "

" what i want is to be master of my own destiny. "

" i'm sorry to have kept you so late. "

" were you gonna say goodbye? "

" there's no redemption for the likes of you. "

" he was looking pretty dead to me. "

" nothing you do will change the fact that they are gone. "

" i knew once you got my message, you'd come running. "

" i wonder what you're so guilty about that playing the hero was this important. "

" i can't go to the authorities, it's not an option for me. "

" i am a man of peace, so please do not be hurting me. "

" they almost killed me. "

" maybe i wanna feel good. "

" we're being betrayed. "

" i don't know why people can't be nicer. "

" it's always love that sends us down the rabbit hole. "

" what happened to your face? "

" i do not have friends, times like this are exactly why. "

" i think you should stop interfering with my business. "

" we have no relationship, i owe you nothing. "

" only a fool plays a game without knowing the rules first, or the other players. "

" you shouldn't be calling me. "

" ambitious men are never content. "

" it's not your fault you're weak. "

" you really need me to keep quiet, eh? "

" everything has its use by date, and everyone. "

" you can be such a child sometimes. "

" you can't spend the rest of your life refusing to care for anyone in case they leave. "

" my life isn't any man's to give or take. "

" we can compel men not to be bad but we cannot compel them to do good. "

" you have a fairly scary reputation. "

" this place means a great deal to me. "

" i can't treat it if i can't see it. "

" i didn't want to wake you. "

" will you come with me to my place? i don't wanna be there on my own. "

" there is no shame in being afraid. "

" you're a long way from home to be making threats. "

" for a man who doesn't want trouble you keep interesting company. "

" i am a businesswoman, this is the price. "

" what, so that's it? try to kill a guy and then eat ice cream? "

" what you want matters little. "

" he saw me alone and he tried to take his chance. "

" you're a hard man to find. "

" do my eyes deceive? is this a ghost? "

" what is this, are you jealous? "

" i liked it when you defended me tonight. "

" i'm beginning to think it's because you're scared. "

" you haven't said a word since we left. "

" please do not ruin my happy thoughts, your face is very... children will cry if they look at this face. "

" you don't have to suffer anything if you're strong enough to deny it. "

" i missed you. "

" it's such an arrogance to love someone and to expect it in return. "

" i never wanna be dependent on anyone else again. "

" perhaps a simple, earthy, no-strings fuck would do you a world of good. "

" just 'cause i left, it doesn't mean i don't still love you. "

" sounds like a date. "

" i'd prefer to get there alive. "

" have they hurt you? "

" where would the fun be if we all did as we are told? "

" i'm leaving you alone like this. "

" you're my friend, even if you don't want any. "

" don't forget who works for who. "

" you don't need to justify yourself to me. "

" you can hate me and still not let the tea go to waste. "

" i'm the one who will get the job of killing you. "

" loyalty comes out of love, or fear, or debt. "

" i never said i was a good person. "

" you can't blame yourself for that. "

" i am too happy you are alive. "

" you are a good man and you think too much. "

" the only thing stronger than love is the hate left behind when it's gone. "

" if you want me to beg, you will wait a long time. "

" the world has no place for me. "

" i don't think you've ever loved anyone in your life. "

" a warrior has to follow orders, even when they don't like them. "

" just 'cause i don't want you here doesn't mean i've forgotten my manners. "

" have dinner with me, just like two normal people. "

" i keep them to remember what a terrible human being i am. "

" you can love someone and do terrible things to them, all at the same time. "

" it's good to be nervous, it means it matters. "

" i think you shot me, you bastard. "

" you're fucking dying, and i'm the only thing that's gonna stop it, okay? "

" i made sure i wasn't followed. "

" i never stabbed anyone in my life, i'm not gonna start now. "

" good way to get yourself killed. "

" is this your blood? "

" how does it feel? knowing you're gonna fucking die and there's nothing you can do about it. "

" i never wanna see you again. "

" if you lie, then a crow will bite you. "

" you are the cause of my problems. "

" we need to keep you out of sight. "

" i almost had it, and then you made me forget. "

" i hate doing nothing. "

" the whole point of you staying is so that you can stay out of harm's way. "

" you're gonna bleed out, you need to stay still. "

" i have never seen so much money before in my whole life, forget all in one bag. "

" stop! they're gonna hear you! "

" you've lost the right to ever say my fucking name. "

" i've had enough of this shit, do you hear me?! "

" short version: it all went to shit. "

" a coward isn't capable of exhibiting love. "

" you'll never need to catch me as much as i need to be free. "

" every time we cage a man, we close him in with hate. "

[twotangledsisters]

Love all the fics you've got pending!

Can you tell us more about A Hostage Situation and Mirror, Mirror, What You Took From Me?

I'm most excited for these!

Can I tell you more?? That shouldn't be a question, why you are asking me to talk about my ongoing projects, a favorite activity second only to sharing the finished stories once they're done!!

And both are those are ones I'm very excited about too! I'll start with the shorted of the two:

The Hostage Situation

Honestly, there's not much more to add than in the original post, it's one of my rare AUs that hasn't shown any signs of spiralling out of control yet!

This AU has a more... pacifist version of Hector, as rather than fight these strangers off he just snatches Cass and orders them to leave for her safety. Cass is never in any real danger and that becomes apparent pretty fast despite Hector's threats.

While most of them leave the way they came, Eugene is the one to sneak back inside with the intent of rescuing Cassandra. The main goal is to allow Cassandra to open up a bit more about her emotions, it's to allow Eugene who just stood by during the argument a chance to speak his mind, and it offers up some extra bonding with Hector.

I won't spoil the ending but I will say Cassandra manages to keep both hands in mint condition!

I'll add a few snippets to the end after the read more!

Mirror, Mirror, What You Took From Me

This one is waaaay longer! Although the summary focuses on Cassandra smashing the mirror and Eugene becoming trapped, this fic actually is a re-imagining of the show after that point.

The Mirror Realm in this AU is a portion of Zhan Tiri's realm, with Eugene captured Tromus has a different approach to getting the Sundrop and Zhan Tiri took takes a different approach.

If you want to go into the fic fully blind, stop reading now as I'm gonna ramble and spoil parts of it :D

With Eugene trapped, Tromus wishes to strike a deal with Rapunzel, and Rapunzel is willing to give anything to ensure she gets Eugene back. Cassandra doesn't trust Tromus though, and goes behind Rapunzel's back taking down Tromus and causing the shell house to collapse. Staring at the ruins of the home, with Eugene still missing, Rapunzel and Cassandra have a huge fight.

Rapunzel decides she's going to complete the journal, travel to the Dark Kingdom and acquire the moonstone because perhaps that amount of power will be enough to get Eugene back.

Cassandra argues the moonstone is dangerous! But Rapunzel is past reasoning with.

“Oh, so your feelings are valid? You have a bad feeling about the moonstone and that’s valid? But me feeling like trusting that man to get Eugene back isn’t?” “May I remind you had a bad feeling about the shell shaped building from the start? You thought it was swell and look, what happened? I didn’t put Eugene in danger. You did!” Rapunzel glared, then her face straightened and she turned. “Your journey ends here.” “What?” “I’m done with you interfering Cassandra, I want you out of my way.” “I’m not leaving.” “You don’t have a choice. I’m not making a request Cassandra, as your princess, I command you go back to Corona and stay out of my way. I’m going to do what I have to do to get my partner back, and you aren’t coming.”

After Rapunzel orders Cassandra to stay behind, Cassandra does start to walk towards Corona, but ultimately decides against it. Rapunzel is emotional and doesn't know what she's doing! If there is one thing that'll blind Rapunzel's judgement, it's Eugene. So Cassandra makers her way to the Dark Kingdom to take the moonstone before Rapunzel.

In this AU Cassandra takes the moonstone to protect Rapunzel and it's after taking it that Zhan Tiri appears, not to guide Cassandra, but to guide Rapunzel down a path of anger and a path of doing 'anything' to get Eugene back.

Eugene fights for his life in the mirror realm, he is questioned and his knowledge used by Zhan Tirir against Rapunzel.

Cassandra tried to go to the Spire to find something that'll help Eugene but she's already been reported a thief and is ambushed there.

She then goes to Varian who listens to Cassandra and understands how Rapunzel feels, blinded by grief. He agrees to start work on a portal to save Eugene and Cassandra goes into hiding.

Rapunzel eventually does locate Cassandra, and they clash. A portal opens, Zhan Tirir exits and Rapunzel sees Eugene, but he is unable to reach her, held back by the mirror-version of Cassandra. But having seen him Rapunzel is ready to listen to anything Zhan Tirir says.

AND... I am going to stop! I could keep going and spoil the entire fic... I WANT TO. But I won't.

I think you get the feel of the fic :D

I am super excited for it! I love switching roles up, letting Rapunzel be the one manipulated and missguided for a change! This fic is going to be a lot of fun, if you like fics of mine like Plus Forts Ensemble I'd say it's pretty similar to that in the way it both follows and doesn't follow the show's outline!

Also, some snippets from The Hostage Situation:

Cassandra struggled against the rope tying her to one of the many trees which had grown within The Great Tree, the binturongs circled her and growled but she didn’t cease her frantic movements. “Let me go!” Hector ignored her shouts as he tended to his garden. “Once your friends are far enough away, I’ll consider.” “You have no right!” “I have every right,” Hector snapped back. “I have a duty to my kingdom and to the entire world, a duty to the moonstone. I warned your group more than enough times, yet you kept going. Be thankful I chose this route. I could have just as easily cut you all down where you stood and eliminated the problem at its route.” Cassandra glared. For a moment the only noise was the binturongs’ growls. “Why am I explaining myself?” Hector turned back to the garden. “It’s not like you’d understand the weight of duty.” And the tiredness in his voice got Cassandra’s expression to soften as she did understand that weight. She thought back to her last conversation with the king prior to starting this journey. It had been in the throne room, while the others packed, Cassandra had been practically shaking as the last time he had summoned her to the throne room it had only been the king and her father and she’d been banished to a convent. She expected to be scolded for disobeying a direct order, but instead the king just looked tired. “Cassandra, you are my daughter’s lady-in-waiting and, more importantly you are someone she trusts.” Cassandra nodded. “I must ask you to protect her on this journey. It’s her first time beyond the walls of Corona and I fear she may not be prepared.” Cassandra felt like such a favour should come after an apology for her near banishment, but he was a king and she but a commoner, so she bowed and promised she’d do all in her power to protect Rapunzel. If only Rapunzel had allowed Cassandra to carry out this promise. “I understand,” Cassandra told Hector, to her own surprise. “I even understand what it’s like for your own to not help with that duty…” she added. Hector looked at Cassandra over his plants. “I heard your woes, the ones you shared with the statues.” Cassandra blushed in embarrassment. “You can kill me now.” Hector laughed. “For coming from such a peaceful kingdom, you show promise. I’m sorry those close to you don’t see that.” Cassandra smiled. “Thank.” “You should consider going to another kingdom to pursue your dreams.” “And leave Rapunzel behind?” “She the princess to whom you have a duty?” “I mean… No, not exactly. She’s my boss and my princess, sure, but… I could leave, I’m just a servant. It’s not about duty, she’s my friend.” “Ah.” Hector turned so Cassandra couldn’t see his expression. “What?” “Nothing.” “Tell me.” “It’s just… My experience with royals is that they’ll be your friend, family, brother, what have you, when it’s convenient, but the day you need them to listen, they’re above you.” Hector’s mind wandered to the moonstone and the mistake that had cost him his home. “Rapunzel… It was just the one time.” “It was just the first time,” Hector corrected. Cassandra didn’t answer. She wanted to argue, but did Rapunzel deserve her defence right now?

Later:

Cassandra could see the stars through a gap in the bark, the moonlight’s glow her only light source. She heard footsteps coming from behind. “Finally! Surely my friends are far enough away for you to release me now?” There was a shuffle of footsteps, followed by a loud thump as Eugene’s bound body was tossed in front of Cassandra. She blinked. He grinned. “Hey, Cass! You were exactly who I was looking for.” Cassandra’s expression darkened. There went her hope of stretching her arms and reuniting with her friends. “I thought I’d rescue you.” “Guessing you thought wrong?” Eugene chuckled as Hector lifted him and tied him to the same tree as Cassandra. “Well… it’s the thought that counts.” “I don’t think that expression favours you, Eugene.” “I am regretting not leaving you for dead.” “I am regretting you not leaving me for dead.” “Leave the bonding exercises for another time, won’t you?” Hector rolled his eyes as he finished tying the knot. “Anybody else I should be worried about in my tree?” “Everybody else voted to leave Cass behind,” Eugene answered. “Good. Then next time I see something move and shoot on sight there won’t be any injuries.” Eugene frowned but said nothing as Hector left. “The others did leave, right?” Cassandra checked. “Yeah. We kind assumed I’d be enough… sorry.” “It’s fine,” Cassandra sighed. “I will never let you live this down though.”

[thewayhelooksatyou]

The Way He Looks at You Series B. II:IV

Cal Kestis Week Bonus Content: In Another Life Chapter IV: We Shouldn't Be Doing This

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Chapter Summary

Tumblr celebrated Cal Kestis Week, I used the dialogue prompts for each chapter. This chapter uses: "We shouldn't be doing this."

This mini series is what life could have looked like if Reader (lovingly nicknamed "Light" by Cal) had never lost her memory in the final battle of 'The Way He Looks at You'. Rating: 18+ Words: 1.2K Trigger Warnings: None Inquisitor Cal x Reader/OC

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Cal wraps his arms around Light, his hard chest pressing against her back, looking at the home he found for her in the same town as his last mission. It’s a small house, but it’s large enough for her and a couple of children. Cal squeezes her once, then releases his grip, reaching into his pocket to pull out the necklace he bought her. That Kaahlii had been kind enough to add a tracker to.

He brushes her hair onto one shoulder and drapes the gold jewelry around her neck, laying the pendant against her chest before securing the clasp. “I bought this for you. I wanted you to have something from me since I won’t see you quite as much.”

She looks down, fingering the hanging gem. “Is this the necklace from-”

“Yes, I saw an echo that you had been rather fond of this piece. I had a tracker added, just in case.”

Light smiles up at him. “I’ll never take it off.”

Cal presses a kiss against her hair and gives her a small push forward, encouraging her to go explore the house he’s picked for her. 

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Flying back to the Inquisitorious Tower no longer feels like going home. It feels as it did before she came into his life: the place where he sleeps. Cal is already counting the seconds until he can see her again. Everything is as it was from only a week ago, but that life feels much further away. 

Cal lands the Scythe with ease, striding across the high walkway, entering the tower. To his dismay, Fifth Brother is waiting for him.

“Thirteenth! You’re not avoiding me, are you?”

“Fifth Brother, of course not. I have simply been rather busy after the recent Rebellion attack.”

Fifth gives Cal a curious look. “Remind me Brother, How did you end up there? After all, it was my assignment to intervene in the Rebel attack.”

Cal grits his teeth. “I had no intention of interfering with your mission. I was simply there to retrieve what was mine. As I’m sure you are now aware, the Jedi leading the attack had stolen from me.”

Fifth gives a toothy grin. “That’s what I can’t seem to wrap my head around. Why would a Jedi care about a woman you claim you ran into on the street?”

“I’m sure you remember my reputation with the women of the galaxy. Jedi are always sticking their noses where they don’t belong.”

Fifth shrugs. “I suppose that tracks. You are infamous for your cruelty.”

Cal offers him a forced smile, hoping to end the conversation and gain the location of his next mission. The sooner he is working, the sooner he can see Light again. His thoughts drift to the unfinished events of last night. 

“It is odd, don’t you think?”

Cal sighs. “What is?”

“That you seem to care so much for her. I’ve not seen this behavior displayed before.”

Cal is silent, searching for the correct words to deflect Fifth’s prying. But nothing comes, leaving him in the incriminating quiet. Fifth smirks, circling to the side, as if taunting his prey.

“Brother?”

Cal does not respond, glaring at the wall, wishing to leave this conversation.

“Are you…in love?”

Cal whips around to face him. “We do not feel love, Brother.”

Fifth raises his hands, showing his palms. “I mean no harm. We have grown close these past years. I consider you a friend. If you are in love, I have no desire to stand in your way.”

Cal’s eyes narrow, not dropping his guard. “Wonderful.”

The sarcastic words come out louder than he intended. But it is enough to end this conversation. He turns on his heel and strides towards the far end of the room, wanting to hide behind the closed doors of his quarters.

Fifth’s words freeze him. “Where is the girl, Thirteenth?”

Cal grits his teeth, turning only his head to acknowledge the loaded question. “Not here.”

“Unusual, considering you typically keep her as your shadow.”

No longer willing to ask questions, Cal leaves.

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Cal throws open the front door to Light’s house, startling her and causing her to drop the dish she is holding. But the object hovers an inch from the ground, raising until she can wrap her finger around the smooth surface once more. 

“Cal!”

A big smile on her face, she sets the object on the kitchen counter before running into his arms. Cal wraps himself around her, holding her tight, breathing in the scent of her hair, his eyes closing in bliss. All the stress of his life melting away from something as simple as a hug from his woman.

She pulls back but doesn’t let go. “I thought it would be longer until I saw you again.”

He chuckles. “I work faster when there is the promise of seeing you.”

She smiles up at him; her gaze drifting to his lips for a moment.

Cal closes the distance, capturing her bottom lip between his. Each movement is slow and full of need. As though he were making love to her with only his mouth. Stars, he’d love to do that right now. 

He considers demanding her compliance in joining him in the bedroom, but the earlier conversation with Fifth lingers in the forefront of his mind. Cal loves her. But sneaking around is putting Light in danger. 

He breaks the kiss, holding her shoulders, looking down, eyes regretful. “Light, we shouldn’t be doing this.”

She furrows her brow in confusion. “Kissing?”

Cal shakes his head, gesturing around the room. “No. This. Us. Sneaking around, pretending like we have a normal life away from the Empire. I’m an Inquisitor.”

Light chews her lip. “I know. Do you still want to be one?”

Cal scoffs. “That implies I ever had a choice.”

She nods once. “What do you want to do?”

“Want and need are two different things, Light. I want to leave everything behind and stay with you. But I cannot.”

She gives a curious look. “Something happened.”

Cal moves to sit at the kitchen table, resting his head in his hands, rubbing his temples. “Fifth has begun asking too many questions about us.”

Light joins him at the small wooden table. “You’ve already made a decision, haven’t you?”

Cal looks up, seeing the tears glinting in her eyes. “You think I am making the decision for you?”

She rises, her chin held high despite the tears cascading down her cheeks. “I have been through this before, quite recently. I understand what you’re saying Cal. I’m going to bed, please do not join me.”

She leaves, her footsteps padding up the stairs and into the primary bedroom. Cal sits, trying to calm his breathing. His years in the Empire makes the rage difficult to contain. His hand twitches for his lightsaber, but instead, he collapses onto the table. Left cheek pressed flush against the cool varnished surface. 

Their relationship is over, it’s the best decision, to keep her safe from the Empire. Cal feels nauseous knowing that Theo ended his relationship with Light for the same reason. A Jedi and an Inquisitor both in love with the same woman, giving her up to protect her from the same threat. 

Cal worries that he may be more like the Jedi than he once thought. After some contemplation, he exits the home, locking up, and heading back to Coruscant.

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[mischas]

Ah, thank you for your thoughts! I've read it and will re-read a few more times. Would love your thoughts on the lifeguard scene in 3.02 - which I think is the last time they are there together? - Marissa is so mature and understanding, I find it frustrating. I want Ryan to have to explain himself to Marissa but he never does. It's interesting how S1 Ryan is so protective of her and in S3 how he completely fails to understand her and is shut down completely.

I wanted to answer this when I had more time so sorry for the wait! I promise I wasn't ignoring it. Technically they are there together in 3x19 when Ryan is brooding about Sadie leaving and Marissa shows up. He's undoubtedly waiting for Marissa IMO, knowing it's her sacred spot. But I digress.

The lifeguard stand scene in 3x02 needs to be viewed independently of the fight scene that precedes it but they are important to one another. Sandy tells Ryan to go back and listen, and Ryan doesn't really do that, but instead gives us his POV on how he thinks this is his mess to fix. And it's the most we get from him about that whole situation so we have to take it at face value but also contextualize it with how he's been acting. I like that he opens up about being scared of screwing up the chance the Cohens gave him by taking him in. I don't think the show was this intellectual but we could possibly connect this to his s2 characterization. Maybe he thought the Theresa situation at the end of s1 was his 'screw up' and he told himself if he were to somehow make it back to Newport he'd keep his head low and avoid confrontation. I'm not sure, but maybe.

Ryan viewing the shooting as his fault, thus "Now I screwed things up for you" tells us that he really does put this on himself. The entire thing. And he shouldn't. He knows Marissa had no choice but to pull that trigger. When she says in 3x02, "So I was supposed to watch you die?" I think Ryan is really shook that she put it so plainly. Ryan approached the fight in 3x02 with rose-colored glasses and I think he was avoiding that Trey was truly killing him. So Ryan knows she saved him, and feels like he put her in that position. I think his shame in that is partly why he kept his distance during the summer. Not just 'I brought Trey into your life but I made you care for me enough to shoot a fucking gun at someone's back' Like, that's fucking love. And it's an overwhelming feeling.

The earlier fight scene has shades of blame he harbors for Marissa, which he is also ashamed of. No matter what, Ryan still finds it hard to let Trey go and be honest about who Trey is as a person. Thus "There are consequences for me too, he was my brother." He saw the fight between the two of them as back to their old ways, hashing it out with their fists, and in some ways it wasn't even about Marissa's assault. It was the idea that Trey threatened the life Ryan had made for himself. Breaking the trust of the Cohens and of course assaulting Marissa. But it became an allegory for taking from Ryan. In 2x24 Trey says "Yeah, well, you have the good life" and it tells us that Trey's pre-meditated assault did at least partly come from a place of wanting to hurt Ryan. Because he's jealous that Ryan has this new life. This new chosen family. This privilege. Like I said in my 3x01 analysis, Trey can pull Ryan's strings pretty easily. No matter how mad Ryan got at Trey in s2 pre-assault, he always came back around. Other characters interfered, sure, but Ryan knew how manipulated he'd been in the past by his brother but kept forgiving him and kept believing in him. Trey doing what he did meant that the cycle was supposed to stop, that Ryan was supposed to feel comfortable cutting Trey off in his heart. But it wasn't so easy, which is where that 3x02 fight comes in. He snaps, and he knows it was a shitty thing to say but at least it was honest.

"I don't need you to protect me. I don't now and I didn't then" says Marissa. AKA you didn't need to go fight Trey. And in some ways she's blaming him too, which is a thought I don't consider often when I think about s3. We know she's not a fan of his fighting and never has been. I love this scene because we actually get some perspective into how they're both feeling and something RM needed to do was verbally communicate. And they're both ashamed of the things they say.

When it comes to the lifeguard stand, they've both let their guards down and it's nice seeing them so serene and just holding hands. Because no matter how they're feeling deep down about the blame they're placing on one another, they know it's unfounded and they know what's between them is stronger than those things they're ashamed of. Marissa reassures Ryan that Harbor is not the end all be all of her life and he needed to hear that. She's bummed about being kicked out but it hasn't devastated her. I think part of his idea in 3x01 and the summer preceding it was that everything would go back to normal once Trey awoke and school was part of that promised normalcy. And dealing with the school issue was easier than dealing with Trey and everything that came with that.

It's nice to think that Ryan did end up convincing Marissa to go with him to the carnival. I like picturing that. They're both so so into the mythology of their own relationship and it's sick!!!

[casspurrjoybell-25]

Cold as Ice - Chapter 46 - Part 2

*Warning Adult Content*

Landon Reilly

After the next skater, I left Wren to go to the bathroom and grab us drinks.

As I finished in the bathroom and came out, I was suddenly standing face to face with my father.

I knew of the possibility of this happening when I came here but that still didn't prepare me for the tightness in my chest just at the sight of him.

The last time I had seen him, it had sent me into a spiral and he hadn't even looked at me.

This time, he was staring right at me and it felt like I was about to fall over.

No matter how much I thought I could handle being face to face with him, nothing could have prepared me for it.

It was still like I was just thrown to the wolves.

It was like I was a speck that he could just walk on.

I was minuscule and he had me under a magnifying glass.

I felt helpless and weak in his presence.

"Landon," he said in a low tone.

I had heard him say my name that way so many times.

It was disappointment and anger.

I didn't say anything back, I couldn't.

All I wanted was to walk away from him and back to Wren but I was frozen in place.

"You shouldn't be here," he said.

"You shouldn't be speaking to my daughter at all. You've distracted her and she tanked her performance all because of you."

"I..." I started but he quickly cut me off.

"You are to cut all contact with my daughter," he snapped, moving in closer and making me feel smaller.

"I have my ways of finding these things out, so I will know if you continue speaking to her."

I wanted to argue with him, to show him that he didn't scare me or have any affect on me but I couldn't because it wasn't true and I couldn't even fake it.

"You've really let yourself go," he said, looking me up and down.

"I've caught a few of your games on T.V. out of curiosity and it's not surprising that you've become sloppy. You're a failure because you lack discipline and I will not allow you to rub off on my daughter. She has a future. She is a good girl. She doesn't need your influence on her."

"She doesn't know I'm here," I said, my voice weak, trying to protect Olivia in any way that I could.

"Don't lie to me," he snapped.

"I know that she does. I know that you two have kept in contact. Trust me when I say you will not like the consequences if you don't cut all contact with her."

My heart was beating fast, my breaths becoming shallow.

"As far as I'm concerned, Olivia is an only child," he continued.

"You think that because you're no longer part of this family that you can do as you please but I will make your life hell if you continue interfering. Do you understand? You are a worthless, disgusting failure and I will not let you drag my daughter down with you."

Every nasty thing he had ever said to me started flooding my brain.

Every horrible thing he had ever done to me played on a loop.

I knew he would follow through on his threats if given the chance.

"Landon?"

I looked over my father's shoulder to see my mother standing behind him.

She looked at me with sad, wide, teary eyes.

It almost felt like she missed me and that she was overcome with emotion at the sight of me.

I almost walked past my father to go to her, then I remembered her complacency.

I remembered how she let my father abuse me, I remembered how she treated Olivia.

My mother was always the kinder of my parents.

Rather, I used to think of her as kind but now knew that she didn't have a kind bone in her body.

She let my father do as he pleased to me, she never protected me.

I almost forgot that when I looked at her though, I wished I could walk over to her and let her take me into her arms.

I remembered times when I prayed for my parents' love, times when I asked God why my parents didn't love me.

My life would have been so different if my parents just loved me.

"I have to go," I muttered, mustering up the strength to speak.

"Leave this place. Now," my father said in a familiar voice of authority.

I staggered past him, walking by my mother without a glance, though I could feel her eyes on me as I left.

I left through the exit doors and went down the stairs until I reached the outside.

I took in deep breaths, finally no longer feeling like I was being suffocated.

I didn't know how long I was out there but eventually, Wren found me.

I was still breathing heavy when he came outside.

His hand on my shoulder startled me and I jumped back then relaxed when I saw it was him.

"What happened?" Wren asked, his face serious and full of concern.

"Go. Now," I breathed out.

Wren wrapped his arm around me and directed me to his car.

He helped me into the passenger's seat but he stayed there standing outside the car in front of me instead of moving to the driver's side.

"Landon," he said, putting his hands on my shoulders.

"Calm down, okay? Breathe slowly."

We looked into each others eyes and I tried to match Wren's breathing.

"Better," Wren said, bringing his hand up to my face to push my hair off my forehead.

"Let's go."

Wren kissed my forehead then backed away, shutting the door and moving around to the driver's seat.

We were mostly quiet on the way back to my dorm, Wren placing a comforting hand on my thigh, moving it up and down.

When we got back to my dorm, Wren brought me into the bathroom and started the shower.

I was confused but I didn't question him. 

"Come on," he said, gesturing toward the shower.

"You're sweaty. You need to get in."

Without thinking, I listened to him and got undressed and into the shower.

A moment later, Wren followed me.

Normally, I would yell at him or push him out but I wanted him near me even though I was embarrassed.

I didn't want to snap at him, I wanted his comfort, welcomed it.

Wren pushed his hands through my hair as the water cascaded over me.

I let him put my shampoo in, his fingers kneading my scalp.

After he rinsed it out, I stepped forward and in o his embrace, letting my face fall between his neck and shoulder.

Wren held me, one hand on the back of my head and the other on my back.

"Was it your father?" Wren asked quietly against my ear.

"Did you see him?"

"Are you going to say 'I told you so'?" I asked, feeling embarrassed.

Wren hummed.

"No."

"Why not? You were right," I said.

"I saw him and I couldn't handle it."

"While I do enjoy hearing 'you're right' come from your mouth, I'm not glad to be right about this," he said.

"You're glad to be right about everything else," I muttered.

"Your pain doesn't bring me happiness."

I shuddered, overwhelmed with emotions.

I wanted to squeeze him and hold onto him forever, I wanted him to always be whispering in my ear, playing with my hair, rubbing circles on my back.

I wanted him in my life always, hen it hit me.

'I love him'.

I pulled away slightly so I could look at his face, my eyes wide.

Wren smiled slightly at me, bringing his hands up to rest on my cheeks, moving his thumbs under my eyes.

"I knew you'd eventually let me in the shower with you," he said, his grin widening.

'I love him'.

"You didn't really give me a choice," I said, my voice low.

I was still reeling at my realization, the force of it weighing on me.

"If you didn't want me in here, you would have pushed me out," he said.

I leant forward and kissed his grinning mouth, slowly and carefully like it was my first time.

He responded slowly, letting me take the lead.

We stayed like that in the shower until the water started getting cold.

Then we ran back to my room and Wren wrapped a towel around me before kissing my neck and jaw.

He lowered himself in front of me then looked up at me with a smirk.

"I think you deserve some birthday action," Wren said.

My heart fluttered even with him being so crude.

He moved the towel out of the way and put his mouth on me.

Even then, I could only think of one thing.

'I love him'.

[ilovetoddi]

( 09/02/2024 ) 11:23 PM — you're unaware of how my heart still revolves in your orbit, how any imbalance in your existence can turn me into dust. i bet you don't know the significance you hold, but you are the sun; always have been, always will be. even if there aren't stars around you, i can assure you that things will remain this way until the entire universe dies with you. there is no universe without you. no starlight. no existence. everything started because of you, bada. the beginning of life in my heart, the flood you caused within me, my inability to explain simple concepts, it's all on you. all your words seemed to magically silence what haunts me, so i'm nothing without you. i think my days before you weren't as sweet, or calm, or full of hope. despite everything that kept us apart, like all the pain i feel that could've pushed you away, your sweetness was enough to prevent any new disasters. you silenced a catastrophic past too. when i had days filled with doubts, you were there for me and kissed them all away. when i thought exhaustion would prevent me from continuing my work, even though you're not as tired as me, you suggested that we rest together. when i said i couldn't listen to anyone else's heart since mine was lost about what it loved or not, you cleared my mind without touching it, without interfering in my feelings with empty promises. when i felt my own heart breaking, i know that yours broke too. what you did for me goes beyond empathy. i'm sure your soul has been created with all the good things in the world, which does not exclude the imperfections in you. they're your sunspots. you're unique. you're my sun. i thought that, having my heart shattered into pieces, unable to fix it on my own, no one would know how to do it for me. i thought no one would be good enough to love such a mess, to find sense in it. and i was wrong. my shards aren't supposed to be anyone's, though, they shouldn't have hurt you like they hurt me, but every piece of my heart came together in your hands again. you never needed me, but since nothing is random, i know how you chose me every day. even if you didn't say it. i think that's why what we had was so good. we weren't stuck. the universe was still moving around us, but nothing compared to what each other's company could do.

[peacehopeandrats]

8 & 14 please

Hmm.... Another interesting pairing. I think I know what I'm going to do with these as I save it for writing later. We will see where it goes.

It didn't go where I expected it to, but I like what I ended up with.

And so ends a month of writing prompts. Thanks to everyone who went along on this ride with me. Feel free to poke around with anything I've posted and ask more questions. Everything I've done this month has been a part of something as yet unwritten, either a chapter or part of a series, but always something that already exists. It was rough and it was raw, but it was fun to do. Glad some of you came along with me to do it.

Gideon stared down at the restaurant table, pondering the rich, golden red color under the clear finish. He picked out one dark stripe that represented the tree's life and followed it from one end of the table to the other, then chose another.

"Gideon?" His mother pulled him from the mindless task he'd put to himself. "Are you feeling all right?"

He blinked at her. "Do I not look it?"

"You do look a little under the weather," his father admitted with concern.

He shook his head. "I'm fine." Neither of his parents seemed to believe him, so instead of insisting this was true, he shrugged. "Maybe just my brain is feeling kind of down."

There was something carved into the slick surface just to his left, interfering with the path of several wooden stripes. He placed his finger over the dent and traced it, then pulled his hand away. Having felt the groove, he could now easily make out the single letter 't'. Bent in what was almost a perfect handwritten script, the beauty of it struck him as unusual. It was the result of vandalism, after all, and he thought he should feel more dislike for this stray remnant of someone's lawlessness. He found that he couldn't hate it though, in fact it became something of a fascination rather than being something he could easily discard.

He wondered why it wasn't capitalized and what the person who made it was trying to say. Was it meant to be longer and they got interrupted? Had they been caught in the act and thrown out of the restaurant? It couldn't be just an initial, because certainly no one would carve their initials in lowercase lettering.

Around him, the buzz of other patrons drew his eyes upward, to take in the room. Every person at every table seemed to be engaged in pleasant conversation. Would any of them be willing to deface property like this? Could one of them have left this part of themselves behind and returned to mark another table? Maybe it was some sort of secret code, left from one diner for another who would take this seat on request and know exactly what the 't' meant.

"Gideon," his mother's voice broke the spell of his ponderings.

His eyes met hers and he noticed the sadness in them. "Yes?"

"I think it was wrong of me to let you choose that particular book from the library today. It seems to be a little darker than we thought. What do you think?"

"Maybe. I mean it talks about death a lot and people doing things with animals they shouldn't, but it's interesting."

His father shook his head. "I don't like how upset it seems to have made you," he said. "Even if it is meant to be a different representation of the tales from our realm."

"Not our realm, Papa. Just.. another one."

"All right. Another realm. Either way, you've not been yourself since you started reading it."

Both of his parents looked as if they would begin to cry at any moment and Gideon thought about the things they would never tell him, the secrets he would never know.

"Does this have anything to do with me?" He asked the question gently, hoping not to hurt them.

"No," his mother promised. "It has to do with me and being too lenient with your choices. When you are older, I'll let you try the book again, but for now, I think the theme is more for adults than even you can handle. Are we agreed?"

Gideon took in a deep breath and slowly let it escape him. Either his mothers words, the release of air, or quite possibly both, made him feel as if he were sending a hidden darkness away from himself and out into the corners of the dining space. He nodded. "Agreed."

Finally, his father smiled, and his mother joined in soon after, both grasping for Gideon's hand and giving it a squeeze.

"So, what can we talk about now to lift your mood?" His father's question brought a smile to Gideon's face.

Glancing down at the carved letter, Gideon wriggled closer to the table and lowered his voice as if sharing a secret. "Did either of you ever do something mischievous when you were my age?"

[withered-rose-unbreakable-lotus]

@sleeplesssmoll While some ages could be older, in my view too, I downright disagree Vertin should have been older, personally. (The following opinion is just that, an opinion, I'm not claiming you are wrong, I am just expressing my pov on the matter.)

She was given the duty of the Timekeeper too early, right after completing her studies at the Foundation (if she even completed them I don't remember) and besides her charisma she often looks way too naive to me which makes sense for a 19 year old. When you're just out of school, despite your trauma, you still have that childlike wish to do big things, at least I personally also did, so I get her passion and wish to help other arcanists and make sure nb has the same fate as the friends she tried to sneak out with. She has that bravery to do everything in her power to achieve all her goals, to save people, get answers for her past etc, and doing all that even if risks come on the way like sneaking in places, as you mentioned etc etc.

While I too see her stoicness I don't see maturity. For example, in the argument between Spathodea and Ezra, it drove me crazy she didn't interfere and some could take this as maturity, like stay away from arguments, but personally I would have interfered as an adult and explain that while I get Spathodea's side, there are some things Ezra said that Spathodea should have put her ego aside and understand as well. Sure her silence plays an important role in Spathodea's growing as a character and understanding things by herself, but Vertin's not speaking didn't look like she was trying to be an adult that wants kids to understand things on her own, but more like she didn't know what to say to calm things down and all she had to say after all this was that she saw this coming or that the map is actually good. Like why didn't you say that during the argument, you know? I don't think she deals well with confrontation or intense arguments, hence why she stayed silent. This could also be an indicator of trauma for her in that moment too. And yup, in that case, neither Ulu nor Desert intefered either, but that's a whole other post about how those two saying nth as well could be interpreted. At the end of the day this is storywriting aka art and art can be interpreted in a 100 ways depending on a person's experiences.

Vertin's charisma follows the trope of the chosen one for whatever reason so it makes sense for being a "gifted" child that seemingly can do anything. While it's prevalent in anime, it exists a lot in western media as well. She doesn't have to be old to get that charisma because 1) she follows that trope and 2) because even in real life, sometimes kids are seen as such, they are the "gifted kids" who are often told they are too mature for their age or that somehow have "incredible" skills for their age, only to find out after becoming adults that they'd never been as skillful as they were told to be and that they still have a lot to learn. I believe Vertin too had to get some such slaps on the face in her so far journey. Even though she is seen as sb this special, she still had to lose more people after the whole drama with Schneider. You did mention she doesn't have all the answers yet, I saw it, but I dunno, personally I feel like she rarely has any answers so I don't in any way see her a character that could be older than 23.

As for this point: "Also her travels and sneaking around in places she shouldn't be would be easier if she's older." I think that if it was this easy they wouldn't have much of an in-between big events plot to go with, nor would there be as much learning for her character to grow. Like you said it would have been easier, and I add, it would also reduce her chances of failure greatly. Also, if she was old enough to do all this you mention, she wouldn't need the help of sooo many characters. The other characters must in some way join her journey and struggles. If she was older and more experienced with things, she would technically not need as many people around her, children or adults.

As for Mathilda, I believe the 14 we get there is before her graduation and becoming the monitor sth, i forget her title now. But she is the same age as Sonetto, they were in the same class and both have graduated, so the ages we see in the game have been changed already by a few years. But if they indeed kept her 14 and let her graduate in that age well that too can be applied to reality for kids who are considered genius enough to be sent to organizations before even becoming adults because they are too smart for further training like other kids. *shrugs*

And a little note on Blonney, in the Green lake story she is said to be a college student who went at the lake for a project, if I remember correctly, so if filming studies are 4 years long, she couldn't be older than 21 or 22.

One thing I'd change about Reverse 1999.

The more I think about it, the more I wonder why Vertin and the others are so young. It's like the anime problem where they're so reluctant to use young adults/adults even though it'd make more sense in terms of immersion. Or they make a character look young but they're actually very old.

Matilda is 14.

Tooth Fairy is 25! I read her as at least 28-30ish. To put that into perspective, Blonney is 20 and Horrorpedia is 21 which I can see. They made Zima 29 so I know it's possible!

From a story standpoint, I read Vertin as at least 19, and that's including the trauma that forced her to be the mature and stoic Timekeeper. Her charisma, ability to travel the world on her own, and experience in the field made me think of one who is old enough to deal with problems but not quite at the level where they have all the answers. Also her travels and sneaking around in places she shouldn't be would be easier if she's older. For example, more job opportunities, the ability to get a license etc. 19 is a transitional stage where she's both a kid and adult. Although, you could say this about a 16yo Vertin too but it feels...different. like a different type of transition happens during these ages but I can't put my finger on it.

Idk if I can really put this feeling into words because that's all it is really. Certain characters ages don't "feel" right.

On a completely unrelated note, I want an arcanist that looks like your stereotypical witch with a point hat and black cat! She seems like a scary grumpy lady (70), but she actually has butterscotch in her pockets and and a big ol' loving heart in her chest.

I also want a Salem trials "witch" who is actually an arcanist.

[byakuyasdarling]

saw your silly post and realized i was thinking of something sort of similar, so i hope you don’t mind if i were to share a few of my thoughts :)

anyways, i personally really enjoy seeing older (technically a good chunk of users are older than me but thats just bc i’m literally 15 so like... unsurprising) people on tumblr. i feel like theres always that “isn’t it weird to do this at my age?” in that back of my mind so when i see like 30 yr olds on tumblr posting essays about their faves or 21 year olds lovemailing their f/os or 17 yr olds being like ya i still sleep with my plushies! it feels very... nice? calming.

i sort of worry about like wtf do i do when i turn 18?? is that too old?? what if i still want to self ship at 30? what if i want to wear cute dresses even in my 40s? is that too old? but then like i go on tumblr and see everyone else doing Just that and its soo...! nice. it reminds me that age doesn't matter, you can have silly blogs and post fics and draw even if you're like 27. is there really an age limit on like.. enjoying life and having hobbies???

i don’t mean to make it about me or anything but i just wanted to remind you that there is no such thing as being too old to enjoy the things you like!! so long as its not interfering in anything or hurting anyone, why not indulge a bit? anyone who tells you otherwise literally needs to live a little, enjoy things & go out more 💀 sending a thousand seals their way as we speak...!

18 is also still incredibly young, you shouldn't be shamed by anyone for liking byakuya and drawing silly ship art where you two kiss. why does it matter what you do anyways .. !!

Thank you so much, I’m so happy to hear that! I really love seeing older selfshippers too <3 a lot of people I see in the selfship community are older than me, and I really look up to the fact they still do this.

I don’t know what the big deal is. I see older women (particularly) froth over actors all the time, so why can’t I love a fictional guy? I know it’s not the same… my dad says it’s “a bit full-on”, “it was okay when you were 17”, and I fear a lot of my family has that sentiment. I know they really love me and care for me but you know. My psychologist aunt thinks it’s cute and good for me though, so I’m taking her word. I think it’s good for me too.

I think it comes from the perspective of “you can have someone real!” My family somehow thinks I’m the biggest catch ever, and probably wants to see me happy. But a real man won’t make me happy right now. Of course I want a boyfriend, but I literally can’t be a good partner in my mental state. But I’ve said this a lot already.

In Australia, at least in my family but it is prominent see the culture of where I live, is that 18 = adulthood. You must know how to be an adult and act adult at this point. It’s bullshit. Even developmentally you are not an adult. I really agree with the age of 21 being “adulthood” because you’ve actually had real experiences in the real world at that point.

Also people who wear cute clothes and cuddle with plushes are so based. I think a lot of people thinks it’s cute though from what I observe (in our generation).

[theorist-influencer-untitled]

3.3.23 Wednesday

12:05 am

Still, up here... Still, will take my shower in a few minutes, simply resting... I still have the windblow trap and I have fear, I posted that on my yesterday's entry here,angels...

It is just weird that old friends are gone, I have a windblow trap and I feel hurt since 2007! It is unfair to control someone's life without asking a permission...

It's ohkay to be a friend but interfering on a secretive way is not a good act for friendship... A true friend will care and only think of good things to a friend... But changing a friend into something that they wanted, is not fair...

Why, a friend will put an agenda to erase my past pages... I just heard that a particular friend and some judgemental people who didn't know me at all are smashing my ego as a woman....Or commenting things that is foul... Like some old fake people said that they pity me coz nobody likes me ever since and I had have no story to tell, and it hurts me so much...

7:50 am

It is weird...Last night during shower my left eye suddenly felt itchy and I felt that something is inside my left eye...

Then this am, it is the first time again to wake up having a morning star/ sleep dust...Which is which but I have literally here.... But I still feel something on my left eye, a sandy feeling... Shit! Is it sore eyes?

8:10 am

Probably a foreign substance such as a small eyelash... whew!

One of my fears these days that I don't have extra in my pockets angels... If in case that I need to see a doctor...

I feel bitterish and hurt since 2007....A group of particular people damage my entire life coz they wanted to interfere on me unfairly...

Then,those interfering people will just drop me like that... As if they are not guilty on me? Totally, unfair!

They need to be responsible angels for interfering on me since 2007...

Plus, I have sciatica/ priformis syndrome that I can't get my MRI... This is bullshit!

They remove my college diploma... They took away or stole my college diploma angels...

They just pull me down probably bunches of undergraduates vs interfering fake friends overly concern on me though college graduate....

They shouldn't stop caring until I can revive to have a new story and own real money... I feel bitter...

I wanna buy starbucks everyday... I wanna see donkey and camel... I wanna have my life back but with maturity....

8:37 am

Plus Lazadah so weird no human being as customer care...

Where is the rice cooker??? I tried tracking... I got this...

This is the disadvantage if not bridging with LEXPH....Coz the delivery group of LEXPH they will regularly update the status on timeline form but on other courier you have to search it on your own...

9:10 am

I feel sad and I still have the windblow trap and it wants me to reveal some old secret coming from mixed fake people such as church of christ.

I was a true friend... Windblow came to me year 2007... Then, I lost social life and I lost xfactor! I feel hurt...

Then, weird movement on me coming from people that are closer and people that I just got along with like in my old religion the church of christ...

My mouth and tongue are holy coz it will not say a thing to damage someone....It's original form...There are so many fake members of church of christ... If I mentioned something it is my observation and conclusion....

It is weird to post here like this "Oliver" my old church of christ member/ churchmate this is just a story now, a story to share here from the past years...That it is weird everyone are on movement on something. Oliver said that Borgy wasn't handsome why do I like him ,he is just wealthy...

This is still probably on my pages on my messenger....Then, I tried investigating the weird cult and I tried streaming and somehow got some people come and go on "Tagged".

Then,I replied on Oliver, huh? Hahaha Borgy Manotoc Marcos is a good looking guy for me... But since Oliver is my churchmate he told me no, he is just wealthy.... End of converstion....But he is married now...

My point Oliver is weird that he came up on my Tagged stream twice, I think and so weird to say here that probably church of christ is my bad hacker here...

11:30 am

I still have the windblow trap and I feel jealous and a big question mark...

If Dra. Mitch is negotiating without my knowledge,I feel super jealous... What was the main point? What will be the point? But I do believe she is at peace....If she did something I don't want her to go up unless I will know everything, I can sense there is a link on me but I can't pin-point...

I hope, I have a good angels with me here... But I really wanna switch religion...

I really wanna leave the hometown... I just need protection on my old partner's....I have so many frustrations for 16 years,since 2007... I feel hurt!

1:15 pm

Still,have the windblow trap... I wanna leave the hometown... I feel bitter... I feel super self-pity...

It is unfair to have a gathering at my back... Most specially when my exes are with some gf's or old friends....Totally unfair...

1:38 pm

I feel jealous coz I lost attention on my rightful category... I used to be pampered or nicely spoiled but I never smash anyone, I don't remember smashing anyone's ego's from the past, even now... I feel hurt... I feel bad...

I wanna leave the hometown and I have windblow trap here...

1:58 pm

I'm calling the attention of my exes please give me protection, something is wrong on the people here in Cavite... Why, my past are all taken away from me? Why, that bad group smashed my ego for 16 years...

3:08 pm

About Uncle Jun, went to the forest, went back here just to have his lunch and went back to baranggay forest... I still don't like Georgia'z gang for being lifted up by Betsilogz...

I feel self-pity coz of their private car and I wanna leave the hometown... I wanna have some bags and collagen on my feet...

4:24 pm

On behalf of Doc Carol this Mr Vet in the making Mr Sherwin... Intern... According to him just 1 ml of KC shot to be put on the syringe...

John's KC shot annual update.

5:58 pm

I wanna leave the hometown and I don't wanna stay here forever...

Asking my exes please to put a protection on me coz I don't know this windblow trap...

I can't find new partner right now and it made me bitterish and I can't be with judgemental people.

For my exes I hope there is no bad grains of rice... I miss being in the center of pretty faces men and with stability and sanity...

Now, I really wanna leave the hometown...

Just hate the thought of some gf's took away my exes or negotiating something without my approval... It is foul on "girl code rule"....

8:57 pm

It is a stress for me that the rice cooker is not yet here... I hope and pray that LEXPH can help me...

I still have the windblow trap... I feel bitterish and self-pity that I can't find a man enough for me....I feel self-pity... I feel fat and ugly everyday....I can't exist on the rightful place... I wannna get an american looking, English speaking and with stability or if dark-skinned just like the al-maktoum face....

I hate women here in the Philippinea, women who are bad monkey's, stealing my thunder and able to fix themselves.

Next, hating some old friends and some fake monkey's proving that they are mature and upper than me,that's why they are able to have their own family and have kids now, being part of an unfair group since 2007 just to give me an anxiety and mixed-up in life....

It is so bitter-strange... I feel bad.....I feel bad....

9:19 pm

My sciatica is aching...

[ohimesama]

12.5.22 Monday

Page 2 for today.

1:22 pm

I suddenly feel stress and I feel the headache I just received this on messenger, Thank God I still have data and some links on some angel rope...

Well, this is the post of my aunt Teresa/ adoptive mother here that Uncle DD wanted to change everything from the past years... That we are not adoptive kids here...

Adoptive is an adjective meaning not legally but doing the responsibility of being a mother on someone.

These text messages sounds like Uncle DD so much...

The story here even the electric is alive or will be revived, RV and his family can't go back here unless he fixed their own meter and pay the amount that needed for the sharing...

Me? Coz of I'm still bum and will get a job in a lil while coz it is holiday season as you can see, it is already December... The opening will be next year.

So,the point here... The negative of RV from the past months was whenever Uncle DD asked me to collect the money from RV for his sharing of bills here... Sometimes,he is reacting negatively on me that why her? She is not sharing anything. What a words and negative comment coming from him, from the past months... He is putting the blame on me... It sounds not really a man, just to cover for my thingy, that I can't share for now...

I just hope my brother RV will understand that I can't cover for now, as a brother I hope he can cover for me as blood siblings... People will interfere and will make a talk about us here,about me, about our family, about our situation. If they can't help just please for Jesus name, just shut-up!

People are interfering that I'm "ningas kugon" no! We have personal reasons and personal issues inside the family... I have a windblow trap coming from the cult of ManaloZ,it is in the bible so stop judging coz Lucifer is already here and apocalypse is happening...

Whatever it is our decisions here and my decision, the other people shouldn't comment a "ningas kugon"...

Ningas Kugon meaning she should did that ahead of time ,or did thing before these negative things happened...

Pandemic came in,lockdowns came in... Even businesman went down and got financial or business problem or struggles...I wasn't a purely Filipino but my adoptive mother was on another generation time... Like I do speak English and they don't! I graduated from De La Salle University! But my Aunt Teresa is fluent on nipponggo coz she is married with a japanese. Gets,angels???

This is my college diploma did they respect me? Some weird things is happening...

For clarification of my added personality, I just learned cooking during pandemic lockdowns that I didn't do before coz our lifestyle was different....

I'm not lazy! And for the judgemental not my ideal life I should have my own yaya or assistant still but I have the maturity of being religious that I know I should face some rough realities in life, for awhile... And they shouldn't judge or interfere on me...

If they can't help us here,please evaporate!

It was fun we used this during high school a funny sarcastic way of blocking someone if you don't like their opinion in life or people who are just shallow... "please, evaporate!"....

Plastics people and some relatives wanting to use me? Without even having etiquette of asking my permission. They took away my life since 2007 and they repeat my 2nd life flatly and stole my life and my personality... They changed my history that's why they do an unfair repeat on me... I'm just 15 now will be 16 next year but 41 on my first life time...

5:01 pm

9th day here of no electric....

This is for the crowning Prince of Dubai hoping a forever ... The song is so sexy...For Al-MaktoumZ...

Click it angels and please listen...

https://wesingapp.com/user/609c9f84242f3789374b/song/3juu0UT3vvu-vTKo-OneNightOnly?lang=en&ws_channel=copylink&from_page=2299

7:06 pm

I still have the windblow trap... I want them to feel guilty for controlling my life since 2007 doing this windblow as a sign of "playing safe"...

Uncle Jun is reacting on foodies here... He said is there any other foodies? We need to thrift... Reacting and we don't have fundings here...

He is working right? As a responsible member of family and Uncle who is always a leader, he should share for awhile while I'm still bum...

9:23 pm

Our dinner, me and bebeh John... Not our ideal life but we need to survive but this is still a healthy food for the meantime... A food of a camper... I hope if time will come that me and my bebeh John will join a camping, I hope and pray it will be with good friends and my beloved...

Still,thinking of money and I do believe that human's life of any kind on or off the screen, we are all artist of God... This is just a phase....

Theory:

Don't judge us,don't judge people...Don't judge the situation coz if you read the bible, you understand this "windblow".

I just hate the cult of ManaloZ....Stop trapping me,I want bags and more bags... I need to get a self-fulfillment and starbucks everyday.

[velvet-vox]

Doll's treatment of Uzi is nowhere near comparable to V's treatment of N. For one simple reason: Uzi and Doll are enemies.

If you want to hate on Dollzi and somehow hate on Noll too despite not elaborating said hatred for the latter, then hate both ships for this, for the fact that, canonically, Doll tried to kill Uzi three times, even after discovering that she had the Absolute Solver.

I actually don't necessarily agree with @melissa-titanium points in relation to this discussion, I like everything that he has said, but only as an analysis of Doll, not as an actual counterargument; it's my fault, I probably shouldn't have summoned him when your confession doesn't even bring up Noll all that much into this conversation, my bad.

But going back to the original points, as it has already been pointed out before, Doll does not want to help her parents'murderer and Uzi just saved said murderer's life, so at this point, it's on sight, even if the reveal of Uzi sharing her sickness shocks her a bit.

Also, it's funny how you completely forgot to mention the fact that V tried to shoot Doll with a missile at point blank range right after shooting her in the back of the head in the ballroom court. She didn't go away mysteriously just because, the disassembly drone who ruined her life just tried to kill her again, she didn't even run, she just teleported.

You wanna know why Doll doesn't just tell Uzi about what the keybug does and instead just steals it even when she knows that this would leave her stuttering in the dark about the answers that she seeks? It's because she doesn't care. She empathises with Uzi's situation, but she's more concerned with her own. Once she finds the patch, she'll willingly share it with Uzi, but until then it's you against me, and if you get too much into my way, then I'll just kill you to stop interfering with my goals.

She's stealing the keybug under Tessa's commission, Cyn is the one who wants the keybug, so she hired Doll to get it, Doll only learns about the keybug's importance and the Cabin Fever's elevator because Tessa told her about it, otherwise Doll would have just stolen the cockroach from Uzi in episode 4, we literally see her right behind Uzi as she's questioning the keybug, so if she knew all of this information already, she would have just stolen it here and there.

"What's best for you, even if you hate me for it" and "How cute, but I don't need your help" are not comparable sentences. They are both about someone denying the help given to them, but the first one is about V trying to protect N and herself from all the trauma they have endured by committing further to their genocidal war machines persona, as reinforced by the previous line "We do our job, and that thing leaves us alone", while the other is about Doll refusing to let go of her grudge against V and proceeding to get her vengeance at any cost, even if said cost is N's, Uzi's or all of her classmates lives, V's is pushing her coping mechanism onto N, while Doll is unable to cope with anything going on so she clings to her revenge fantasy, believing that this will finally make her feel better.

Dollzi is not DD envy but V is shorter, quieter, red and Russian, Dollzi is enemies to lovers where V is N's foil and is willing to permanently kill him if it means getting what she wants.

Hate the ship for this reason, rather than because of your nonsensical arguments.

Found out what bugs me about NxDoll (and Dollzi I suppose) outside of it just not getting the ship(s)

Doll did the same fucking thing to Uzi that V did to N (minus the whole ��had a romantic relationship in the past” bit).

Episodes 3-6, she refuses to communicate to Uzi what she’s looking for and why, pushes Uzi away despite Uzi being willing to help one of her literal bullies (pushes other people away too but, y’know), fucking antagonizes Uzi while she’s vulnerable, and guess what fucking happens to her because of this.

“If I find what I’m looking for, I’ll help you too.” Ok but like. Why not help her now? And what are you looking for? Wouldn’t teaming up make finding this thing easier? You obviously have an idea of what to look for, why not tell them? No dont fucking run- and she’s gone.

“You don’t even know that that thing does.” THEN TELL HER INSTEAD OF STEALING WHAT SHE KNOWS AS “The only clue to what’s wrong with [her]” GAAAAAAHHHHH

Doll i love you and most of the other characters but lordy loo you brought your demise unto yourself. Godspeed Ms. "Pragmatic"

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