#i shouldn't despise myself because this is just part of what it is to be human i guess. you'll mess up and make selfish choices.

[sciderman]

I would say you’re more of a Mr peanut butter type yeah

doggy doggy what now?

[xx-j4nu5-c4t5-xx]

"An ideal Sims game would have Sims 2's gameplay mechanics, Sims 3's open world, and Sims 4's graphics!"

I absolutely despise this take, and I want to explain why. This is a very long rant and it is full of piss and vinegar directed at everything in the Sims 4. I'm gonna try to keep everything kinda professional as much as I can but I can't guarantee an unbiased opinion.

If you'll let me talk your ears off for a moment, I'd like to explain, from my own experience as an artist and a casual player, my issues with the art style and direction of The Sims 4 compared to The Sims 2. (I'm not really going to comment on 3 because I've never played it.)

I want to start off by explaining the difference between better graphics and higher resolution. The Sims 4 absolutely blows Sims 2 out of the water when it comes to textures and polygon counts on sims, no contest. But I'd argue that the graphics themselves... aren't better. They're worse, even, so much fucking worse. The biggest problems come from the stylization and the animations, in my opinion, so I'll explain what I mean.

Have you ever felt like the Sims in 4 just look... weird? Not quirky, not kinda strange, but off. Distressing. Uncanny. Whatever the fuck the kids call it nowadays. When you strip away the packs and the CC and the shaders, the sims in the base game look bad. They're very close to being human; they walk like us, talk like us, have families like us, but they don't look like us, not exactly. There's always something off about them, no matter how close you try to get. Proportions will be a bit off, or your eyelashes will be like three polygons for some fucking reason, and the jig is up. The illusion is gone.

This is one of the instances where a higher resolution and more detailed models and meshes work against you. You aren't making believe. You are beyond the point of pretending that the pixelated shapes are real clothes and bodies and faces, because at this point, they're close enough that you don't need to. There's no gap to bridge. But that doesn't necessarily mean that they're lifelike, at least, not enough to be completely human. In some ways, they're still tethered to being cartoony and plasticky and fake. Just enough to frighten you. Enough to put you off. They're not using it to their advantage anymore, and instead, it's holding them back.

When the Sims 2 came out in 2004, the developers knew that they weren't going to make a perfectly accurate life simulator. They physically couldn't render every wrinkle in the face or fold in the clothing. In some animations, things clip strangely or the facial expressions are sort of janky or there's just some form of roughness around the edges. But that's okay; your brain doesn't need a perfectly accurate representation this time. That's not what you're here for, anyway.

The Sims 4 is basically Icarus-ing itself into disaster. The entire game sacrifices style for complete realism, a goal that was unachievable ten years ago, and is unachievable now.

The Sims 2 never thought of itself as a completely realistic life sim, though. It has cartoony, low poly meshes and exaggerated proportions and wild, raunchy storylines that would never occur in real life. BECAUSE IT ISN'T REAL LIFE. And it isn't like real life, not because it's failing to be, but because it doesn't want to be!

The Sims 4 is not ever going to completely replicate human looks or interactions or dynamics. And if it's trying to, it's doing a shit job of it. That shouldn't be the goal in the first place. If I wanted to watch a lonely college student talk to himself in the mirror to try and get better at interacting with people, I'd close the computer and go look at myself. It somehow highlights the most mundane parts of life without any of the whimsy and goofiness that the earlier installments had. It takes itself too fucking seriously for its own good, and it's killing both the gameplay and the art style.

The other point I'd like to bring up is the animation. The Sims 4 allows for much more customization of both sim and environments, but at the cost of dynamic animations. How many times is that grab animation reused? How many times is the same set of animations used for sims with wildly different personalities? Your sims barely feel alive with how little they express themselves.

Now, look, I'm a digital artist. I've dabbled in animation, but only briefly, and only in 2D. I've got no clue how 3D animation works, much less how it worked 20 years ago, but I can see the passion in every single animation in the Sims 2. The more niche interactions allowed for more expressive animations than in 4. They could afford to have a distinct animation for mean sims throwing the football extra hard to be assholes, rather than every sim using the same generic football-throwing animation to save time and money. I get where they're coming from. I get the idea. But in one move, you've both made the art style stiffer and less expressive, and you've made the personalities of the sims seem meaningless. Everyone acts the same, regardless of what their moodlets or their traits say. It's hollow. It's stifled. It's a waste of potential.

But for what Sims 2 lacks in polygons, it makes up for in smaller animated details. Quality over quantity. The sims have hair physics, they open the door before they get in the car, they take utensils out of the counters when they cook, they jump on the couch and the cushions smush under their weight. When they dance, the weight is realistic, and when they smile, it tugs at every one of the few dozen shapes that make up their faces. The sims are lively. They dance and sing and love and hate just like humans, and rather than being some strange attempt at mimicry, it's almost a tribute. They were made with love. You can tell that they were drawn up and rigged and animated by a bunch of people working together, studying each other and making faces in the mirror for reference and watching their kids and neighbors and dogs and hands for reference. The sims are not human, and not trying to be, but they're taking the most human parts of us and making them their own.

You could never have a game with the Sims 4's graphics and the Sims 2's gameplay. The gameplay and graphics are inexorably connected, and the Sims 2 just has so much glorious detail baked into it, that you could never really make it work underneath the limitations of the later games. The developers of 2 knew what their limits were, and they worked tirelessly to make the game as full and complex as they could within those limits. The developers for the Sims 4 just did not have those guidelines, and thus, the drive to bend the rules was no longer there. They didn't go wild in rebellion because they were never told they couldn't in the first place. They spent the entire time chasing a goal they couldn't meet, and lost sight of what made the series fun to begin with.

It wasn't the realism you came for; you had realism already surrounding you. It was the caricature of it that made it interesting.

[landoom]

(I’m the anon who brought up people not liking Oscar for off track stuff)

Yeah, I agree with all of that, I think. I try really hard to check my biases while also reserving my right to have an opinion. And just to clarify- I absolutely don’t think Oscar is nearly as much of an asshole as some drivers! It’s just his particular brand of PR that irks me… and some other things… anyways, not your problem. lol

I may not like Oscar much, not hate, and I actually feel kinda bad about not liking him, but I’m not out shouting hate against him for unfair reasons.

That’s the thing, right? We don’t have to agree, but it’s not cool to spread hate or wish ill upon someone for being a bit of a dick as a racing driver, on or off.

But to be fair, a lot of blogs are a “what you see is what you get” so we can block each other. And people should be allowed to vent… hmm.

McLaren has handled things poorly (race strategy and PR) in my opinion, and so many fans are vocally toxic that it exacerbates every tiny thing.

Some Hardcore Lando fans (kinda somewhat myself included) are so used to him being attacked for anything and everything he does that we’re super defensive of him, sometimes in unhealthy ways. Lando gets A LOT of hate. Way more than Oscar has. Way more. I always have to give myself a day after a race to let my emotions cool down. Just like some of the drivers have to! 😂😛 But I am very defensive of Lando, sometimes to my own detriment, I get so angry at people. I recognize that.

And McLaren has done exactly nothing to defend him, which I find distasteful.

Anyways, this turned into a tangent. 🤦‍♀️ I am so sorry. Ahhhh

(I’m so glad you didn’t take that ask poorly and it came across how I meant it, I do appreciate that we can have a calm discussion without either of us trying to change the others opinion ❤️)

Once again I agree with mostly everything.

Just the part about being able to block Tumblr means people can vent here... Yes but then they need to tag accordingly.

If you really want to hate on a driver, then tag it. That means realising you're perhaps going over the limit and that your words can be read as disrespectful or hurtful.

Because there is something I really despise in this fandom at the moment and on social media in general: how hate is becoming accepted, seen as normal or even glorified (through likes and views, etc...). It shouldn't! People should feel ashamed of hating or wishing harm to other people, especially ones who they don't even know, that aren't hurting them in any way! You can have an outburst brought out by your passion for F1 and adrenalin and acknowledge (like your doing) that you went over the limit. But some people are creating their whole online persona over being a hater!

Also, as a Lando fan too, I can completely understand the part about Lando being hated for nothing or never doing the "right" thing whatever he does. And I agree it makes us a bit defensive.

But we won't fight hate with hate! Some Lando fans are treating Oscar exactly like they are complaining other people treat Lando! I'm sorry but I can't understand that...

[ganondoodle]

Not gonna lie, the "It looks like a Divine Circle but is actually just hundreds of years of superstition & propaganda"-Concept is the coolest fucking thing I didn't know I needed until ten minutes ago. It's a super cool inversion of the classic trope, opens up a million possibilities for stories and arcs and on top of that, in game, you would obviously not know about it form the beginning but slowly have to collect clues and hints that things are not quite as everyone tells you.

So yeah, very cool concept!

Not directly related, but it's probably no surprise that my favorite Ganondorf line is the "I coveted that Wind"-line from the finale of Wind Waker. He doesn't even go into detail, cause he doesn't have to, this line alone instantly humanizes him. Like, its the end of the game, we are about to fight him, there is no way this will not end in a fight, and yet, at that point, that line, just goes so fucking hard. Because you instantly know what he's talking about, that he simply wanted a future for his people, which, you know, is a very human thing to do. It wont stop us from fighting him here and now, way too much has happened for that, but it reminds us, the audience, that he has motives and reasons and thoughts and is an actual character.

So yeah, in case it's not obvious yet, I too despise the extremely flat "I'm evil because evil, waaaaaaaaagh!" Ganondorf from TOTK. Why even include him if you cant be arsed to actually write him?

Anyways, last thing, I'll have to somewhat disagree on the Gameplay vs Story thing, at least partially because I work in the field and have had experiences with this problem myself. Not saying its impossible to have both, but its a lot more difficult than one would expect.

Towards your point, yes a good story can pull people through a game, but so can strong gameplay. Take the Doom games, I dont really care about their story, but the gameplay is great. On the other hand, the gameplay of the average Telltale game would be incredibly boring without the story behind it. There are hybrids, but even they tend to lean one way or the other: The Assassins Creed or Uncharted Series have solid and fun gameplay, but would probably get repetitive or boring if we didn't have strong characters and stories that keep us interested. And all of that is before you consider that there are different player types that gravitate to one or the other and it gets even more complicated. (There's more to this but I my thoughts on the topic could easily be a full bachelors Thesis, so I'll stop here.)

I should add that I dont think that the gameplay over story (or vice versa) argument can or should be used to defend games or design choices. Yes, Nintendo does prefer to focus on Gameplay over Story. Does that mean we shouldn't expect a good story, or are not allowed to criticize a bad one in their games? Hell no! (And if my previous ask sounded like I was doing that, I apologize, that was NOT what I meant to say! I'll happily critique all of TOTKs flaws, both in gameplay & story, otherwise how can we learn from it?)

This argument can be used to understand and analyze or interpret design decisions but it shouldn't ever be used to defend them. Just like the "just for kids" argument, by using such arguments, the person in question basically admits that they are aware of the weaknesses and faults in their story/game/whatever but didn't fix or improve them. So yeah, I do agree with you on that front 100%, hiding behind such arguments is a problem.

Anyway, sorry for leaving another wall of text in your inbox, hope you're having a nice day!

thank you! that 'cycle' concept is also what destiny (zelda comic) is based on, since it takes place before skyward sword you get to see the set up for it, and, in this story, the gods have been trying to achieve it countless times, throughout the story of it its supposed to slowly be revealed- like demise already knowing some parts since hes yet another 'failed' version of that plan (im reusing that concept for the totk rewrite as well bc i am very original wahoo)

oh you work in that field! thats cool!! yeah my opinion on this sort of thing is very much a thing i formed bc i play games, though i still dream of gamedev, i guess i understood your mention of it a little too much into the dismissive argument way (though not as an attack) and its been repeated so so many times i cant help but get a little >_> at it; the point i was trying to make was more like ... they need to find a balance with it, like you can make it all about gameplay, but then dont pretend you have the most epicest story that ever storied, maybe even do it less or more subtle, like the fromsoft game i feel like are very well balanced in that regard, bc their lore and story is very neat and intertwined, but you have to look and think to get it, and the gameplay is strong on its own so much so that it kinda ends up being both soemthing for people that dont care about lore and those that do, more than about the gameplay

zelda feels like it doesnt quite know what to do (even moreso modern zelda), bc they prioritize the gameplay but then still put in a story that they want understood .. so its like, babiefied? like there is a "simple" story and its few points are repeated into your face over and over and over so the people that dont care to read into soemthing GET IT but also annoy them, bc they dont care anyway, and the people who care about lore/story above gameplay are bored bc the narrative isnt engaging enough and they dont care as much about the gameplay

especially so with totk i think, its so weird, botw wasnt like that imo, it wasnt overly complicated either but at least it left you wondering, and let you think, the more you thought about the more interesting it was (at least to me) totk feels like the opposite, it doesnt want you to think, bc the more you think about it the more it falls apart and makes less sense

like theres types of games that focus HARD on one or the other (like slay the princess for example, its like an interactive audio book, there isnt much gameplay but it goes hard on narrative), so obviously the balance of gameplay and story isnt applicable to every game, but for zelda in particular they say they are one but then still want the other part just as much? like the lore in skyward sword isnt great, the characters are strong though, the gameplay isnt that engaging (to me, since that needs to be said) i got through it mostly just bc i wanted to see what comes next and liked the characters, in botw the freedom and world and gameplay were like nothign i ever experienced, exploring was addictive and the story took a bit of a backseat, but it was fitting for the game and lend itself so well to theorize, in totk they .. idk what the focus was, the .. glue? the toys to glue together? nothing fits together there and each part works against another instead of together, somehow, its so weird to me

the thing is, if you do gameplay over story, you need to roll with it? if thats what it is then let the story take a backseat, make it subtle and in the background or vague, dont stuff the game full of unskippable cutscenes where a character you dont care about explains you a thing you already figured out through the gameplay; like the zelda dragon point, let the design of the dragon and its music, what its carrying speak for itself, the way the deku tree is weirded out by the sword moving, maybe a quick subtle voice line once you get the sword fading away like the last parts of her soul being whispered away- but dont mention it in one of the first cutscenes, fail to bury it in 'thats illegal though and irreversible so nono dont you do it' (why mention it then huh) allude to it multiple times, and then just straight up show it (i get people like the scene but man, it would have been way cooler to figure it out yourself)

same goes for the fake zelda thing, the weird way she said the bloodmoon text already alluded to it, have her show up here and there but vanish before you (no "omg thats zelda omg what is she dooooing") , or go even harder and make her an NPC standing around the world interacting with you all nromally but animals react weirldy to her- make the midfight against her (maybe even that she isnt talking so you are unsure if its actually her but controlled by sth else, or talk all normally while literally going for your throat) and then have her dissolve into goop and woa the bloodmoon thing is without her now the zelda you have been talking to has been fake the whole time, its creepy!! leave out the stupid cutscenes of showing it multiple times!! stop monologing at me!!

ppl that dont care about it can go and do a fight and i can think about it! everyone wins yahoo!

(actually ... if you leave out all the cutscenes in totk i feel like it improves the game by alot ...)

(what my point in the previous thing was in the end that you can repeat the same old trope only so many times without changing anything before it gets boring as hell, like what you said here, and the series seems to really be setting itself on fire bc it just wants to do the trope of old so badly and at some point its gonna drag down even the best of gameplays like gameplay over story means (to me) gameplay is prioritized so whatever narrative there is is in the background, subtle and not overtly in your face with big cutscenes etc- but what i feel like its often supposed to mean is "its fine if theres a shitty story that makes no sense pasted on top bc they prioritize gameplay so stop complaining" like to me what it should mean is more gameplay, less story, a measure of quantity not of quality, but what i feel like it often means is better gameplay, bad story, a measure of quality, not quantity )

maybe my problem lies elsewhere and im just projecting it on gameplay > story, that could very much be the case, i could have a fundamental missunderstanding about this here, im still just a guy with opinions in the end and got no knowledge about anything other than i play games sometimes and these are the things i like and dislike and would do differently *puts my head in my hands*

idk if im making sense, im usually not very good at explaining how i feel or think :/ (or i THINK im bad at it, autism be damned)

(sorry this got so long again ......................)

[1v31182m5]

Can you give me a quick explanation of what exactly happened in Bill's life... Because I didn't understand it clearly myself, and I see a hell of a lot of Angst and I would like to understand it 😩

I am gonna split everything under titles for you to skip whichever part you want or whichever part you're interested in!!!

If I make a mistake in any of these please inform me in the comments!

BİLL'S HOME

-Bill's home dimension is heavily inspired by the book called Flatland by Edwin Abbott Abbott

-Bill is from a 2 dimensional universe where everything is kind of like a straight line but not exactly at the same time, don't think too hard about it it's hard for us to understand, as both said the same way in TBOB and in the book of Flatland, our 3D minds can't fully understand what it's like to be 2 dimensional

-Bill's Dimension is probably called Euclydia in this universe (the codes from the offical gravity falls lofi music video gives out a code that says "REMEMBER EUCLYDİA." İn Mabel's playlist (this gonna make sense in a bit because Bill's situation is very highly about denial and refusing to accept what actually happened) and in TBOB where we see a mugshot of Bill describing him it says "The only survivor of the Euclydian massacre"

-Just like in the Book Flatland talking about the 3D world is illegal (I mean some guys can in the book of Flatland but it's unnecessary to talk about it right now since that's not the case here, Bill shouldn't talk about the third dimension. İt's illegal.)

-females are straight lines and males are shapes

-System in Bill's dimension is very dystopian and fascists. Women aren't allowed to learn or go outside without a man or they need to constantly keep humming to let everyone around them know they're present. Because they're straight lines it is hard for people to know they're in the room since they're more "invisible" with their shape being so thin, if you accidentally poked into a woman you might get heavily hurt. Males can bump into eachother too, it's just that bumping into a thin line is more dangerous.

The same way how bumping into a triangle's pointy angle would be dangerous. Now I'm gonna talk about the class system.

-The more sides you have the upper your class gets

-Being symmetric is veryyy important(one time in Journal 3 a dimension like Bill's attacked Ford because he wasn't symmetrical enough)

-if you're not symmetrical but rather an "irregular" you're the lowest class, everybody has every right to do whatever they wanna do to you

-having a child is very important for that class system

-circles are aristocrats because they have like thousands of sides

-your son will have 1 more side than you ( if a square has a son it'd be a pentagon)

-this doesn't really works for irregular shapes afterall, unless they give birth to an equivalent triangle! Just like Bill!

-as much as triangles are despised by the upper classes equalivent triangles are a little bit more respected and bearable even for the circles themselves! Because this shape not only is perfectly symmetrical but is the symbol of a new "good" generation's start since each of their kid will upgrade their sides and be a more worthy to be respected person (shitty I know)

-When an equalivent triangle is born they take the kid from his irregular parents and give it to a regular family. This lore is told in the book Flatland but of course we can't know if Alex wanted to keep that part, either way you know the title of this part

-yeah that's it I suppose um quick info dump here +since women are all lines and you can't know which shape their father was there's a very STRİCT system for them to not to mate with someone not their shape +there are jobs you can only get if you're a specific shape, a square can be a lawyer but could never be a mayor +there's no color in the book of Flatland, although Bill showed an image of his childhood in color I still don't know if we should %100 be sure if his dimension had color or not since just like he wrote there he "beamed the image into our head" why would he send a colorless one when he can just create this image lmao, not to mention if it was the actual thing we'd see like a straight line not something normal looking like that so idk

OKAY THAT'S ENOUGH WORLD BUİLDİNG

BİLLY İS BORN (you can ask for a source/code in any of these if you wanna see hehe!)

- Billy was born ( a drunk call he made in tbob he says "hey mom this is Billy" implying they probably called him Billy when he was bebe)

-Bill was born with a mutation where he could see the 3rd dimension but no one else could and nobody understood him

-Talking about the 3D world is of course, illegal so his parents took him to an eye doctor for this situation

-we've been knowing that Bill likes silly straws as he mentioned in an other book years ago before any of this and it's been like his thing. In TBOB we learned the story behind it

-they've been making him drink a medicine that he didn't liked

-they'd put silly straws on it as a appetizer so he'd drink it, imagine it like putting whipped cream or sprinkles to make a toddler eat something

-turns out the medicine they're giving to him isn't to stop him seeing the third dimension but rather literally just to BLİND HİM

-he learned about this we don't know how though

-so silly straws is a trauma and he clearly is coping about it, he keeps mentioning how much he likes them and finds them hilarious

-Billy couldn't take it anymore and just wanted to show everyone what real freedom looked like

-He didn't know wanting to show them the third dimension would kill them all. That day is so horrific for him to remember he zones out anytime he tries to remember it and glitches y'know

- he denies what happened. Still says everybody made it out safe and sound, "it's like how real life sociopaths can't tell which was the truth and which was the lie" Alex says in an interview (in the drunk call in TBOB with his "mom" he literally asks where did all of them go, he's that confused)

-Bill gets out of the second dimension after burning it down to the ground leaving nothing but a speck of atoms which he keeps in his hat till today now. That's why the hat important

-Now we're in the show's timeline!

SHOW

-Bill called out for Axolotl's name in reverse when he was burning to get saved. Axolotl answered.

AFTER THE SHOW'S ENDİNG

-Axolotl accepted to help and sent Bill to a major therapy for literally the most dangerous people in the multiverse for him to heal.

His ass is not fine😭

İf you have any questions about any of these ask me!

Orr if you don't understand an angst post you can send me for an explanation I'd explain hehe

[all-seems-no-well]

"Testing...Hello? Can you hear me?..."

------------

-Hello. AHEM... Regarding the past events of "Kalloway Kindergarten" , We have decided to hear from the victims 20 years later to get a better insight on what really happened. The following paragraphs will be from our latest interviews with each, separate person. - These will be repeated from what our subjects had said to the interviewers. - Sadly, some people hadn't come to the interview. So please bear with us on this unfortunate mishap. Thank you for listening, Thank you for your patience, and thank you for coming.

------------

-Subject no. 1 (???)

"Subject number one was unable to make it today.

-Subject no. 2 (Lilith (Lily) Prescott.)

"Slow and painful it was. At least, that's how it felt for me. But I can't imagine the more brutal things my brother had to go through. He was missing for a while, and...Nobody knew where he went. Until that very day, I and...someone else, had found him...... Under the school. The principal was doing experiments on him. It was all so... horrific. Too horrific for a child to see... If I could go back in time and give my younger self a hug, I wouldn't think twice. As for my brother, I would've done the same, even at the time. I wish In that moment I could've told him how much I loved him, how much he meant to me... But now I can't..."

-Subject no. 3 (???)

"Subject number three was unable to make it today."

-Subject no. 4 (Jerome Kennedy.)

"Hearing about the awful stuff my dad did after he died, broke me as a kid. If I had known what he was doing before, I would've told someone before it got so bad... Sometimes I still blame myself for everything that happened. I know I shouldn't, but he was MY dad. I can't get over it."

-Subject no. 5 (Buggs V. Mallory.)

"Shit sucked. Those other kids were awful to me. And yeahhh, I may or may not have been awful to them back. But YOU would be a dick too if YOU were constantly bullied! Oh, right...that... Well, I wasn't really a part of the whole thing. All I know is one day our principal died, and then another day our other principal died. A lot of principals died that week, man. So uh. I don't know.

-Subject no. 6 (Cynthia (Cindy) Louelle.)

"Okay, well. Kindergarten was kinda blehh... y'know? I met some decent people there, I guess. But I also met the most rudest girl in the world! Ugh... But yeah, like, I didn't really care about the whole "principal experimenting on us" jig. It was kinda just stupid... and annoying.... And I honestly don't even recall half of the teachers there, sooo...."

-Subject no. 7 (Monty Hyde.)

"I lost a lot at that damn school. I mean seriously, they didn't think to fire the janitor after day two?! I lost my legs because of him! And now I've just been stuck with these unflattering girl legs. But y'know what? Kindergarten was pretty fun at times. Cause' I was a little shit, and all the teachers knew it. I was even smarter than the science teacher, which says a lot about how smart I am now as an adult! ....are you recording this? Yeah? Good. YOU HEAR THAT DR. DANNER?! I'M BETTER NOW. IM A SUCCESSFUL MILLIONAIRE, AND WHERE ARE YOU? PROBABLY IN A RETIREMENT HOME...... Uh- Thank you for having me here..."

-Subject no. 8 (Felix K. Huxley.)

"I say... Kindergarten was certainly quite the experience. Younger me would've said it was horrible, but now that I've matured I see just how dramatic I was being. Though, there were some things I did that....I'm not quite proud of.... But! That aside, the experience looking back at it was quite swell. If not for that place, I wouldn't have met my lovely Cynthia...or what's his face- uh- Monty!... He's helped me a lot with my business, and I tip my metaphorical and imaginary hat to him."

-Subject no 9. (Theodore (Ted) K. Huxley)

"I believe they should've had much better funding, and staff. Because that place was just...awful. The teachers obviously despised their jobs, and the bathrooms... Oh the bathrooms were foul...! And even thinking about Kindergarten brings back horrible memories of what my brothe- actually nevermind... But anyway, thinking about the pain and suffering those poor students before me must've gone through...it makes me sick to my stomach. They could've done so much better for the students and the school itself."

-Subject no. 10 (???)

"Subject number ten was unable to make it today."

-Subject no. 11 (???)

"Subject number eleven was also unable to make it today."

-Subject no. 12 (Ozzy Harrison.)

"I don't have any good memories of that place. Not one. I'm sorry, but I don't even wanna talk about it anymore..."

-Subject no. 13 (Madison Bonneau.)

"It was like one second I was at recess, and then another I was in some sci-fi looking lab! But me and my friends got saved by some randos, so all was well after that I think! But in all seriousness, that mean lady got what she deserved. I'm glad nobody has to put up with her ever again... oh, oh! And also there was a girl there when it happened...and her head freakin' exploded!! I couldn't sleep for days because of the sight!"

-Subject no. 14 (Alison (Alice) M. Claire.)

"I heard Madi from the other room... I am incredibly sorry about her... excitement? She's never been interviewed before, and quite frankly, neither have i- o-oh, yes...my apologies... The whole situation had really put a negative toll on my well-being. I was scared to go back to school, I had a hard time trusting people, and I was overall terrified of everyone and everything around me. It felt like a bunch of eyes had been laid upon my person, and hands were out to hurt me at any moment. I and my friends were kidnapped by the other school's principal, and to say it was traumatizing would be an understatement..."

-Subject no. 15 (Ronaldo (Ron) Duncan.)

"hey do you have any cheese? No? Okay.. Well anyway. What I remember is like.. kinda crazy. So bear with me. I was just on the playground, swinging on the swings, okay? And then suddenly IM KNOCKED OUT, LIKE BLAM! And then, I woke up in some bunker with a bunch of sciencey stuff in it. And I'm like floating around in this giant tube thingy, right? And then these kids come into the bunker and they're like "well save you!!" And then the evil principle lady turns me into a monster and I'm all like "blehghh" and my friends are also like "blehghh." BUT THEN the principal lady also turns into a giant, ugly monster!! And then the kids kill her like superheroes. True story."

-Subject no 16 and 18 (???)

"These two subjects were unable to come in today due to their own plans together."

-Subject no. 17 (Austin Scarrow)

"I don't actually CARE about the stuff that happened in kindergarten! That stuff was a long time ago, and it doesn't matter to me anymore..."

------------

"By listening to our subject's stories, We hope you know how much this means to them, finally being able to speak up about their own experiences from the tragedy. These people are powerful, and strong, and we wish nothing but the best for them."

------

------

"...Jesus...these kids are gonna make me a killing. I've got to get in contact with those other subjects... If I don't, this whole jig is gonna go out of business..."

[willow-p012]

Kotoko & Shidou Parallels

Religious themes

Molech; Shidou's first voice drama. Moloch, a Canaanite deity associated in biblical sources with the practice of child sacrifice.

Yonah; Kotoko's second voice drama. The book of Jonah is the account of a reluctant prophet called by a relentless God to proclaim repentance to a wicked city.

"The ends justify the means"

Kotoko is quite obvious for this.

Q: Which is more important, the goal or the means you take to achieve it? A: The goal. Isn't that just obvious?

She outright says it, you don't need to dig deep to find out this is a belief of hers.

For Shidou, it is generally agreed upon that he thought the ends more important, and this is continously proved throughout the text.

For me, no matter whether it's according to the law or in any other context, it's only normal to help each other in a family.

He also only seems to show outward regret after it all fails. When the ends fail, the means are no longer justified.

Saviour roles

Kotoko is Keiko/Lucky's "saviour".

Through her acts of vigilantism, Kotoko does in fact save someone. Keiko (the name I'll be sticking with) approaches Kotoko multiple times, clearly admiring her for what she did and wanting to be like her. In Keiko's eyes, she's considered 'good', even if that's not cut and dry. But, she saved a "victim" figure, and that's actually a big difference between her and Shidou.

Shidou is the prisoner's "saviour".

As it stands, he is helping people who have hurt other people in one way or another. These are not cut and dry "victims" as Keiko was. Through his more gentle acts, he does in fact save people. Mahiru is very thankful to him, and because of his good acts, despite it not being cut and dry, he is generally perceived as a gentle and 'good' person.

These saviour roles are both ways for them to feel good

Kotoko wants to like herself, as mentioned in Harrow: Laugh and I can get to like myself. She wants to feel good about herself, feel worthy, and her vigilantism (and the saviour role she takes up through it) is the way she tries to achieve it. While her sense of justice certainly plays a part, it's not all it is. She is most definitely using it to take her anger out and feel good about herself.

Shidou is.... Pretty damn obvious.

I need to be punished… but I need to stay alive, or young lives will be lost. I… I don't know what to wish for anymore. I'm starting to think… that I want to live. That I want to be forgiven. Despite being so riddled with sins…!

But there are lives that need safeguarding/So hey, prolong my life, I’m indispensable

His role as a saviour is his excuse for living, and not just that, but a way to say he can't die yet. He's indispensable, you can't take this from him and huh he's alleying himself with Es and taking hold of a purpose with both hands, refusing to let go, wonder who that sounds like.

Don’t you dare stop now/I want a reason for judgment execution, I want it/Give me the next target

"I know what's good for you"

Shidou treats children like they have no autonomy, no ability to choose what they want to do. Even if Amane does secretly want to eat the pancakes, he shouldn't be approaching it the way he does. He acts like it's something she's supposed to want. It's a problem he repeatedly runs into throughout the series, with both Es and Amane. This already fulfills the phrase, and I wouldn't doubt this issue may extend beyond them in Trial 3.

Meanwhile, Kotoko has her entire "Useless weaklings should just shut up & let me protect them" thing, even if it's not neccesarily surrounding children. While I do personally believe this was said in order to scare Keiko away, I don't doubt that the way she views these "weaklings" isn't entirely false; while she almost undoubtedly sees herself as "too weak" at times and almost seems primed to end up falling into the role of these weaklings she despises, it's not as if she wants to acknowledge that. And notice the way it's phrased, "Should just shut up", like "swallow your complaints, I know what's good for you".

[2dboisloyal-devotee]

Trying to distract myself my hand at this stuff first time, and want to see how it goes.

I'm so guilty of doing this exactly even tho i love them because uh um to guilt trip myself? yeah.

Warning: yandere?? obsession, jealousy, all around depressed traveler time hahah

Long Abandoned

The traveler may be the hero(/ine) of Tevyat, but there's just no value if they're not your main character anymore...

They hate feeling helpless like this. The envy could only gnaw at their core deeper as they merely watch how you switch between characters, having the others to stand on a high pedestal of your best team.

There's few who share their feelings, but even the others, have more turns than them to be picked in the judgement of your hand.

“It should've been me.”

At first, it was such a great honor and responsibility that fell upon their small shoulders to bear your presence through them, as the unraveller of the stories and dialogues, as the one who does fishing with you, as the one who take actions in cutscenes... Many others even get jealous yet amazed at them at the same time.

But now, they are all mere dull chances, further pointing out their inability. They ache for you to use them in battle, for your hand choose them yourself. Not to only be shrouded by your eyes feasting upon their prowess but to feel the high and compassion they once got from being controlled around. Like the first time... When it was only between them, and you.

They're only your puppet on a string, but that's exactly why and they felt the most alive to be moved by you...

The traveler does time to time take notes of the characters you usually use, is it from their designs, behavioral patterns, or their stories that intrigue you so much?

They have all of that! They're not just plain cardboard characters They have depth too, for goodness sake they're literally your first five-star character! Don't they matter to you? ...they should be, but it's the fact that you see them as if they aren't worthy of your attention/respect to be used ever again—it's undeniable and simply says everything about them.

They know they shouldn't be despising those others who are so lucky (they can feel the others looking with pity and mock), it's your only rightful choice after all... They try to focus more on the shameful part of their feelings and wallowing in self pity, it helps them cope with the reality sometimes.

They know the others stuck out like a sore thumb yet colorful cast to you, compared to them...

If you're the one who doesn't have any intention of using them ever again simply because they're not to your interest, well... what can they do? As much as they want to rebel, they are pretty much powerless against the program.

(They still look out for any of the slightest chances and slip-ups of the code, they use anything they find to their advantage.)

If you're the one who had fun using them, who still like them even to this moment but for some reason won't use them, well... at least they still have a place to belong in your heart and mind, somewhere...

Ah, but trust them! They still always do their utmost best and give it their all (as much as they could in looking like that anyway) on simply being viewpoints through the lens of you for a minute or so at the dialogues.

Even if they may pass as an afterthought or a second choice, that's okay, it's maybe just their time coming at a later but fitting moment.

They won't stop having hope (and resorting to drastic measures) for those good times to return. Nothing they wouldn't do if it's for your blessings... after all, they're vital for those 'archon quests' to progress the story aren't they?

[axailslink]

I Felt Filthy

Riri Williams x poc FEM reader

Summary: you're a church going woman you were raised this way and sex is looked down on until marriage. One thing leads to another with your girlfriend Riri and now you can't help but feel disgusted with yourself.

A/n: You can thank religious practices for this one being raised in a Christian household I had these thoughts after masterbation and I still do. Kind of sucks to be honest I immediately felt immense disgust within myself so this has to do with that... Hopefully I'm not the only one who has experienced this problem.

The soap just wasn't working enough for you it couldn't wash away your thoughts of tonight she kissed every inch of your body and you let her while God was watching. What would your mother say? She knew you had a different taste but there was no way she was going to let sex with that "different taste" fly. When you get out of the shower with your towel loosely wrapped around you you're shaky which causes Riri to jump at your attention "hey baby is it cold?" You look at Riri and shake your head but she can see there is something underlying "what's wrong?" "Why do I feel so disgusted? Why do I feel like what we did wasn't... Right? It didn't feel...not right." Riri is taken all the way off guard by such a question you watch as she hesitates on her answer "I think I should keep my opinions to myself I'm not exactly sure why but I'll do whatever I can to calm that feeling down." She gently grabs you in a hug but you push her away "stop touching me" she nods as she pulls away slowly "uhm do you know why you feel disgusted? Did I do something to disgust you?" You shake your head "no of course not it just felt amazing but I've always been told that I shouldn't feel good doing such things. I was told that by my parents by my church..."

Riri nods as it slowly starts to come together "you were raised in the church? Look we don't have to do anything anymore we didn't have to do that. You should not in any way feel disgusted because of what was done. I love you and you love me and it's completely fine to do what we did. Do not punish yourself because what you did felt good it's supposed to." You nod slowly and she gently moves the towel seeing your irritated skin she pulls you to the bed and grabs some lotion. "Has it always been this bad?" You shake your head "no I could kiss a girl maybe even get handsy. Sure I felt like I shouldn't have afterwards but I've never felt disgusted of myself I've never enjoyed something so much that I felt guilty... Riri you made me feel wonderful and cared for. Your fingers gently ran over my skin caressing every part of me. I just... I'm not used to being touched like that I opened up so willingly and everything we did felt filthy afterwards. I felt filthy because I experienced so much pleasure tonight." Riri gently hugs your back "I'm sorry." You nod slowly "I promise I don't feel disgusted because of you it's just how I was raised I was raised in the belief that looking at you the way I do is beyond forgivable kissing you the way I do is disgusting touching you the way I do it's not right not in my parents eyes." Riri always has to be the comedian she smiles and says "remind me to never meet your parents" you straight face and her smile slowly fades. "I'm sorry that was rude of me" you gently smile "no it was funny trust me let's not meet them ever."

Riri shakes her head "that's sadly not possible because when you marry me oh I'm meeting the parents and it doesn't matter if they don't like me or us together they're going to absolutely despise us why? Because I'm not shy of what I want I'll hold your hand, kiss you just to spite them, and may get a little frisky just to give them a bit of a heart attack." You laugh and slap her shoulder "don't say that they'd go crazy if they saw you stare at me too long." Riri smiles "you know you can talk to me about this? We can stop being intimate if it helps." You nod "I don't want to I like kissing you and...doing other things" Riri smiles at your little pause in words "yeah other things lik-" you cover her mouth with your hands and she laughs "you talk too much shh." Riri licks your hand causing you to pull your hand away and gently slap her chest with it "why are you licking me!?" She only laughs in return "I've told you about putting your hands near my mouth." You laugh and plant a soft kiss on her lips as you try to pull away she chases after your lips trying to draw you back in but you tap her chest and she smiles.

The thoughts of course bothered you all throughout the night you couldn't sleep right wondering if it was really okay to love someone so much that you'd be willing to give them your all in the nude. It doesn't matter though because Riri never leaves her face stays planted in your neck as she tucks her arm underneath yours keeping you pulled close.

A/n: once again I wrote this because of specific beliefs I was brought up in. So this does not apply to everyone but it does apply to me and maybe some other people.

[moriarty1234]

T*LC Refutation (but decidedly NOT johnlock refutation)

[Note: I love and ship johnlock because I saw it for myself in the show when I watched it and was part of the general audience in the past. I even want it to become canon in some Holmes adaption in the future. But T*lc needs to get sucked into obscurity and forgotten. Other fandoms like Good Omens, etc., are following the same rhetoric in their "meta" posts, and that needs to go. This is crucial for our basic critical thinking skills and objectivity.]

Read Part - 3 : Everything wrong with "subtexts" and "symbolisms" here.

Part-4: The Harmful Aspect of T*LC:

Let's move on to some more serious issues, or why we (Kim and I) don't believe for even a second that hardcore t*lcers (the ones who're rabid about this theory) ever cared for any type of representation, or even johnlock in itself for that matter.

I say hardcore t*lcers because the normal ones simply believe in t*lc and keep that shit to themselves. I'm even mutuals with them on Tumblr (although I know that when the show was on air, hardcore, insufferable, and deeply problematic t*lcers were in the majority).

1.) The very definition of t*lc : The general idea of t*lc is that johnlock has been planned since 2010 (right from the first episode of S1), this whole show is essentially a love story between Sherlock and John, the cases are not so important, and that johnlock is going to be the endgame canon ship. When the writers deny anything related to johnlock in their own show, they're lying to keep their elaborate plan under the wraps. When Sherlock and John kiss on screen, it'll be a rug pull moment for all the non-believers, their love story will be groundbreaking queer representation in mainstream media, and BBC Sherlock will become a culturally iconic Holmes adaptation. Because sometimes, the queer characters can be the heroes of the story.

All this sounded so nice and fancy to me when I was new to shipping johnlock. Because BBC Sherlock was my first fandom that I ever participated in. Johnlock was (and is) my first ship. I used to be a non-shipper before this, because I'm not exactly a Romance-genre fan in published fiction.

Now I don't like the general idea of this at all. Not because I don't want johnlock to become canon in some version (I really do), but there are so many flaws in the very idea of t*lc.

a.) They didn't even plan what they were going to do with Rosie Watson in S4. They just introduced the pregnancy subplot to raise the stakes in HLV. Only for shock value purposes. This was Mark Gatiss' statement (now I can't find the link but I've seen an article about this before). To think they'd planned an entire romance storyline, but it was just under the wraps the whole time, is unrealistic.

b.) While it's true that showrunners or directors do lie to their fans before a work is published to maintain an element of surprise, Moffat and Gatiss had denied anything related to johnlock too many times, and almost vehemently for most viewers to believe that they're just lying. One can only lie too many times, after all. And something needs to be there in the actual show for (maximum) fans to catch on that they're indeed just lying. There wasn't enough evidence for that. Too many of those scenes just came off as gay jokes instead of anything of real substance. That wasn't a good look.

c.) The third part is really what gets me the most here, and one of the main reasons why Kim and I began to actively despise t*lc, even though we're both still pro-johnlock. These people really thought the ultimate rug pull moment for the entire audience should be... that John and Sherlock are in love? Really? That's it? That's highest standard you have for supposedly groundbreaking queer representation? That doesn't sound right. Queer representation really shouldn't be used for shock value. As if we're not marginalised and isolated from most people already. Especially in my country. That just sounds as though you want to place these two characters in a museum as though they're some exotic beings or something. That's the opposite of a healthy queer rep.

d.) Even if johnlock were canon, it would've hardly been groundbreaking for the purposes of queer representation. Even in the 2010s. Because shows like Breaking Bad (a show from 2008, i.e., before BBC Sherlock, in which a very significant character is canonically gay and black), Elementary (where Mrs Hudson is canonically trans, Joan Watson is a well written character even as a poc female lead, Jamie Moriarty is also properly characterised when mainstream media doesn't have a lot of well-written female villains to begin with), London Spy (which is also a BBC show from 2015), Money Heist (which also features a significant canonically gay character), etc., still existed. I'll even list The Irregulars as an example, even though the first season of that show was aired in 2021, because that was still before the Sherlock Holmes franchise entered the public domain. Watson is canonically gay and black in that one.

e.) This is a detective show you're talking about. Cases aren't important? You kidding me?

2.) Rabid t*lcers were hypocritical as hell. They used to demand canon johnlock for "representation", but they were all sorts of bigoted people themselves.

a.) They made racist comments about Lucy Liu.

(From Sarah Z's video) :

They've called slurs to fans of colour in the fandom (I can think of one fan specifically right now) for not shipping johnlock.

b.) Characterising Sherlock as a twink, gay baby, or "smol" is fetishistic. It's just homophobia indirectly.

c.) They went rabid about the bisexual Sherlock headcanon, Instead of simply disagreeing with it for whatever reason. You're not doing the queer community any favours by h/cing John as bisexual just for your johnlock shipping, only because he has canonically shown attraction to women.

See this:

Stop playing the victim card right after perpetuating biphobia lol. You need to rewatch the show if you think mere fascination was all he felt for Irene. Also, even if he genuinely didn't show any attraction to any woman in canon, fanon can still be its own thing. Not everything has to be strictly canon compliant.

One more:

Stop straw manning and assuming real people's sexuality. Stop ship bashing. Enough with the biphobia.

This person is a johnlocker and "The One" obviously means johnlock here. No, not everyone is uncomfortable because of johnlock for bigoted reasons. People are allowed to have preferences.

Another one (probably my favourite) :

Talk about hypocrisy. The title of this post sounds so positive to bisexuality, but then OP goes right ahead to frantically claim Sherlock is 100% gay and not anything else!!! 1!!

Sherlock is heavily queercoded in the show, I agree. I don't even care whether that was the authorial intent or not at this point. That's what a non-insignificant amount of people took away from this show.

But his canon sexuality was never specified. People are allowed to interpret his sexuality however they want. You are nobody to state your own headcanons as facts.

More hypocrisy.

d.) The acephobia was rampant in this fandom mostly because of these people. It's a well-documented fact.

e.) The misogyny in this fandom was ugly. The kind of outlandish metas they write trying to disprove adl*ck from the show... jeez. If adl*ck definitely doesn't exist in this show, why would you need to disprove it so many times through your meta posts?

Can't erase something that really isn't there, just saying.

"Irene is just a personification of Sherlock's libido for John." Seriously? Do you even listen to yourself?

Don't get me wrong. I blame Mofftiss equally as much for not writing women properly in general, Irene Adler in particular. They butchered canon Irene Adler (a queen) way too much in their show. But the fans' response to her was almost worst.

It's understandable if the show's version of Mary doesn't sit right with you for whatever reason. People are allowed to have preferences. Personally, I'm quite neutral about Mary Morstan in this show.

But these people used to take their hate for her too far. These people have never been as mad at Moriarty, or even at Culverton Smith, as they all were at Mary for shooting Sherlock. Again, this is a crime drama show. Not all characters are going to be sunshine and roses.

3.) Rabid t*lcers hardly ever tried to explore johnlock in other versions. If you're a fan of Sherlock Holmes, you'll be at least curious about different adaptations that exist out there. Why did they hardly ever posted about The Irregulars when it was aired? An adaptation in which Watson is canonically in love with Holmes? I've been around in the johnlock fandom enough to know that the rabid t*lcers (NOT ALL T*LCers) never really cared about the possibility of johnlock in some other version after it ultimately didn't become canon in BBC Sherlock. They only care for johnlock as long as Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman are associated with it.

... Yup.

(ACD canon Watson was in his early thirties in the first novel. That's not middle aged. Joanlock didn't even become canon - something that was specified since Day 1 - in Elementary lmfao. Also, Lucy Liu was in her forties when Elementary aired. Get your facts straight.)

All these three points are enough to conclude that what t*lcers usually posted about was obviously not "demand for representation", but rather a demand for some extremely specific fantasies acted out on screen with an even more specific choice of actors.

I even joked to Kim about this: The stuff they demand for is so extremely specific that it sounds like a Starbucks order lol.

Part: 5 - Conclusion:

I want johnlock to become canon in some version of Sherlock Holmes adaptation. But I want t*lc as a theory to be completely forgotten and obscured. T*lc is definitely not the way to go about it. Other fandoms (namely Good Omens) have started to write "metas" with the exact same rhetoric in them, and now it's completely unacceptable. It's 2024 now. Let it go.

Some interesting links Kim and I found that are very insightful and relevant to this post:

About cults and the followers

Cult psychology

Conspiracy theory psychology

Science vs pseudo-science

Science vs psudo-science - 2

Conspiracy theory psychology - 2

Signs someone is a pseudo-intellectual

One explanation why even otherwise sensible people seem to believe in t*lc

PS: Not every dark haired character/ blond character is a Sherlock/John mirror respectively. That's not how character-mirroring works. Experts would know this.

T*LC refutation (but NOT johnlock) refutation master post.

[smytherines]

001| Curtwen and 002|Owen Carvour for the ask game

Oooohhh thank you!

001- curtwen

When I started shipping it: I watched Spies for the first time in late October or early November 2023, and I liked it but I didn't think about it again until January 2024 when I decided to rewatch it. The second time I watched Spies they broke my brain, and I've been here ever since

My thoughts: *45 continuous minutes of stressed out laughter* oh boy. Um. So many thoughts really, but most of them center around curtwen making me incredibly sad

What makes me happy about them: I genuinely believe they loved each other. That they bantered and bickered like an old married couple, but that they really tried the best they could to be together, even if most of the time they had to be apart. I believe Curt when he talks about how Owen was his best friend, and I think Owen felt the same way right up until the fall

What makes me sad about them: everything else

Things done in fanfic that annoy me: making pre-fall Owen into a heartless monster who is borderline (or just outright) abusive to a helpless, dopey babygirlified version of Curt. Those versions of the characters are unrecognizable to me

Things I look for in fanfic: for their relationship, whether working or romantic, to feel like an actual partnership with two people who genuinely care about each other. I'm also just a sucker for great banter

Who I'd be comfortable with them ending up with, if not each other: nobody, it's very much a "they were made for each other, do not subject anyone else to these men" situation for me

My happily ever after for them: actually I wrote a whole fic about this! But it would just be them getting out of the spy game and running off somewhere, just having a little house together and finally getting to have a real relationship

Who is the big spoon/little spoon: I think they switch it up. Maybe with Owen being the big spoon a little more often? I do think the fandom overlooks Curt's big spoon potential though

What is their favorite non-sexual activity: is it cheating to say spying? I think Curt would despise stakeouts at first because he can't keep still, but the more they work together (and especially once they get together) I think they would both start to kind of enjoy stakeouts because they get to talk and spend time together and not necessarily have all the pressure and stress of the other parts of their job

002- Owen Carvour

How I feel about this character: oh boy there aren't enough words. I could focus on so many things here, but they all come back to disability eventually. While Owen Carvour isn't established in canon to be disabled after the fall, in the real world you do not get up and walk away after a fall like that, especially not after a building explodes on you. In the real world, the most likely result would be broken bones, traumatic brain injury, spinal cord injury, burns from the explosion, etc. There aren't a ton of canonically disabled characters out there, so disability tends to be something that has to be read subtextually like this, often in the origin stories of antagonists or villains. The whole become disabled become evil trope.

I find myself with a lot of empathy for characters who go through something horrifying, something that would be disabling in the real world, and their grief and trauma manifest in horrifying ways. People who are not perfect victims, who spiral and lash out and lose themselves and ruminate, who turn their pain into ammunition. Grief that manifests as sadness and crying and self-hatred tends to be a lot more accessible and relatable than grief that manifests as boiling white hot rage. But as a disabled person who thinks of Owen as a disabled character, I have a lot of empathy for the rage. Maybe I shouldn't, but I do.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: just Agent Curt Mega

Non-romantic OTP: I love the idea of Barb and Owen being friends. I think they definitely had some interests in common and would've been such an interesting dynamic

Unpopular opinion of this character: I guess one of my most unpopular opinions is that I think it does a big disservice to the character and the story to reduce Owen down to a petty ex who was always sort of like that, who wants nothing else beyond petty personal revenge on the man who wronged him. To paint it as a toxic reaction to a bad breakup instead of a massive trauma that left him seriously injured and isolated and heartbroken, that stole his entire life from him.

I absolutely believe getting revenge on Curt was a primary motivation for Owen, but I don't think he planned to torture or kill Curt until Curt interrupted his arms deal. I think Owen lost his identity, his life, his job, his relationship, everything that mattered to him in the fall, and if Curt hadn't come back and chased him down, Owen would've been satisfied operating from the shadows and taking (from his perspective, at least) the only thing Curt actually loves- spying. But I don't think that's his only motivation. By the time we meet DMA, Owen has already been working with the Baron for some time, he definitely would've started this project before Curt ever came back, so I don't buy the idea that he started all this to lure Curt in. I think its giving Owen a bit too much credit to suggest he rigged the entire scenario. I don't think Curt personally being there was part of the plan, I think it derailed the plan.

A spy destroyed his life, him being a spy destroyed his life, his agency and his partner abandoned him to die, having a secret with another man ruined him. I get why he wants a world without agencies, without spies, without secrets. He is going to single handedly dismantle everything Curt ever believed in because those are the things Owen once believed in, the things that put him in that facility and led to him losing everything

It is about Curt, but its about a lot more than Curt too. I think Owen would be very aware of what the British government would do to him if they knew he was gay, I think he would be very aware that global superpowers like the US, UK, & USSR are working on surveillance technology, that someday soon somebody will hold all the world's secrets. I think he feels like he stands a better chance with Chimera than he does with the government that would imprison him or force him into "chemical castration" if they knew what he was. A government that left him for dead. His ideological reasons for joining Chimera as just as interesting to me as his personal reasons

One thing I wish had happened in canon: the villain monologue and the staircase scene have Owen laying out all his ideological reasons for doing what he's doing, beyond insulting Curt he doesn't get personal about anything, even when Curt tries to bring up personal things between them. I get why there wasn't, but I do sort of wish there had been a line or two that really expanded on what "the horror of staying alive" meant to Owen, some tiny glance at what his post-fall world was really like. Something that slips out and Curt tries to pull at that thread and Owen just shuts it down, or the thought of it makes him even angrier. Things end the same way, and I do think Joey Richter does an incredible, incredible job of making you feel something for Owen in the staircase scene, but I do wish we had a little bit more of a mask-dropping moment

My OTP: curtwen

My crossover ship: I would not inflict these men on anyone else

A headcanon fact: uhm. Shit. I've already typed so much so let's keep this simple- I headcanon him as autistic

[uswnt5]

Okay, so I have been sitting on this for a while now, thinking on whether or not I should share this. I've been working in woso for a few years now, specifically women's academy football and I want to add something to this horrifying cycle of abuse we keep seeing in sports. I see a lot of people wondering "how the fuck does this keep happening" and "where the fuck do they keep finding such horrid people" and I want to provide an inside perspective.

When I started working in woso, I was given the chance to work for the first team or for their academy team. I was young and thought I could change the world so I chose the academy team. At that point we still only had one academy team, a U18 team that played in the second division of women's football. I was an idealist and wanted to do more than just work in football, I wanted to innovate and improve football, and I thought a young academy team would give me more opportunities to do so.

I worked with young girls from ages 15 to 18. And I thought I was amazing at it. I would have done anything for that first generation of kids that came up through me. One of them made her debut for the national team recently, and I was crying in the stadium the whole 16 minutes of playtime she got. I love those girls with all my heart, I really do.

But, I also learned very quickly how easy it is to lose yourself, and the person you think you are.

We discuss their bodies daily. We monitor their sleep, their mood, their periods, their fatigue, their weight, every little bit of exercise they do… I know their bodies better than I know my own sometimes. And with that familiarity comes a blurring of boundaries that I never expected myself to be capable of.

At the beginning of last season, one of our girls tore her ACL. It sucks, but it happens (her recovery went absolutely perfect and she's going to back in games sooner than anyone could have hoped). This girl is a 'high potential', tall, strong, really good with her left foot, and only 16 years old at that point. When I say tall and strong, her dad is build like freaking Hagrid and she definitely takes after him.

When the results of the scan came back, confirming the ACL tear, we had a meeting with the whole staff on how we were going to support her through this. Everyone signed the 'get well soon' card, and then we started on making the post-surgery plan. And at some point our PT said: we're really going to have to watch her, because she is going to get fat. With that bodytype, she is going to gain weight, she is not going to stay fit at all. She needs to be put on a diet, right now. Everyone around the table agreed. And we started to discuss how we could prevent her from getting fat while still keeping her knee safe. We were talking about a very injured little girl, and we were discussing her weight, using brutal and harmful language, as if we were discussing the weather.

Because that is part of professional sports, but the habit of talking about bodies, normalizes it. It becomes a casual conversation, and even with the best intentions, that casual conversation turns very cold very quickly. As if there was no human attached to that body. And from cold, it's only a short step before you become cruel.

When someone's body becomes a series of statistics, a product almost, you start to forget how to appropriately handle it. You forget that you shouldn't have ownership of what happens to that body, you forget that it is not normal.

I hope I never turn abusive, I hope someone steps in before it can even come close to abuse. And I too despise the people who abuse their athletes. But I know how easily you can lose yourself, even when your heart is in the right place.

And that is even without taking into account the stress that comes with having to perform at the highest level, how exhausted we all become the longer the season goes on, how worried we constantly need to be that one bad game is going to end our career at a club. I see my staff more than I see anyone in my family. We're starting pre-season in a week and yesterday I worked until 2AM. We haven't even started yet.

It's just a very difficult environment to work in and that frustration and stress does get taken out on the athletes too. And the exhaustion makes you say things that you know you can't say. It's so toxic, even good people just get lost in it.

I am not condoning what is happening now, I was capable of taking a step back and realizing that my words were not okay, that my actions were deeply flawed. If I can do that, everyone can. But the institution is broken, and that can only lead to broken people.

Wow, thanks for sharing. I can see how easily to can be to lose the human element of it when discussing a player as a "tool" used to better your "company" (team).

The institution is definiltey broken, you see it across all sports at every level.

[orfejsa]

What I've done this summer!

So just a day before school starts, I've decided to make a little list of events in my life, travels and accomplishments that accrued this summer.

TRAVEL

I traveled to Dalmatia. I'll never get sick of the Adriatic Sea, even after years of going to various towns on the coast. Makarska was a highlight.

My father took our family to a secluded mountain village called Lukomir. I loved it there. The altitude made me sick every time I looked into the distance, realizing I'm never too far from a 200-meter drop. The most memorable part was the way back. We chose to go a different way, and that ended up being a horrible decision, since the road was stuck in the 19th century and was composed of rocks the size of babies. Basically, this is the worst macadam I've experienced.

EXPERIENCES

Took a journalism school that was held by a regional news outlet. I was the youngest and least experienced there, but it didn't stop me from getting the most out of the program. It made me realize how much I gravitate towards investigative journalism and what skills I should be working on. My main takeaway, though, was that I "don't know how to speak" which is a direct quote from two different TV hosts. This sentiment humbled me greatly.

I worked three different jobs! All were eye-opening experiences. I've never treated retail workers/cleaning staff badly, but after working In those fields, I have even higher respect for people who do these jobs and have been doing them for years.

I had so much fun with friends. Hikes, long walks, and chats over coffee, drinks and cake made this summer very colorful for me. I love them all so much.

Going to the gym is one of the best things I've done for myself. It made me realize how much the years of Illness and stagnancy had weakened me, and gaining even a little bit of strength back has been great.

Made my first cheescake!!

HOBBIES

Hobbies took a bit of a backstage this summer, but I didn't mind it much. I still did a fair bit, though. I had a few sewing projects, my favorite and most despised being the book cover I made that is either too big or too tight for most of my books, but it works fine for now. I've read a bit too, and I'm happy I did because, by accident, I've discovered one of my favorite books, Guards! Guards! By Terry Pratchett. Maybe I'll write a little review of it one day.

I've played a few games too, mostly because, after a lifetime of gaming on the shittiest hardware imaginable, I finally got myself a solid little PC! But because this happened only a week and a half ago, the game of the summer remains "Chrono Trigger," which I played on my 3DS.

WISHES

I hope everything can remain this fine for me. It's nice being just fine for the first time ever. I'll work on building a few habits. Like actually studying, being fully engaged in my work — no music or YouTube. Generally, I want to stop using YT so much. It's the only social site that still has a firm grasp on me. Silence shouldn't be giving me such a hard time.I hope to engage with interests that have been on the back burner for way too long. I've made a list, so we'll see how I'll manage.

I really want everything to go well this year, but that will greatly depend on me.

[that-one-weird-kid-from-school]

Oh me oh my, I really fucking hate time!

Yeah, I know, I have been complaining a lot about time recently, but even if I made 3 2-mile long posts a week for 5 months and 11 days straight about how much I despise time, that would only show a third of my pure hatred for time.

Every day I go to sleep; and every time I go to sleep, I never expect to wake up tomorrow, I never expect tomorrow to come, yet every time I do; every day when I am thrust into reality, it never feels right, it always feels like this shouldn't be happening, but I just gotta deal with that and wait until I fall back asleep only to eventually wake up again, wake up tomorrow.

Up until soon, I did not think of anything when I went to sleep, I wasn't expecting tomorrow, blissfully not thinking about time, but I now think about time, and the more that I think about time, the more I despise it; so recently, when I go to sleep, the only thing that I think about is how much I wished and begged for tomorrow not to come, to not wake up tomorrow.

But tomorrow always comes.

But today, I had a plan to outsmart time: if I willingly chose to sleep all day, then there wouldn't have been no tomorrow, because tomorrow never came, because I slept through all of tomorrow.

So that is what I tried to do, when I felt myself waking up, I chose to not open my eyes, I stayed in sleep mode, I stayed in my blissful state of mind where there is no time for so long; but eventually, I have been woken up at 1:30 PM, apparently, the package that I ordered has arrived; the plan has to go on hold, I need my beads.

And so, I went outside to get my package; on the way there, I got new string, and also, I saw an amazing notebook, it worked perfect for my plan; also, that was a fine notebook, and I know what I'm saying, I have seen my fare share of notebooks, I have a whole library of notebooks, that notebook was very thick, but sadly, it was a yearly notebook, so I need to wait for the next year to come.

That journey took a lot out of me, I did not drink any alcohol but, every minute that passed, I felt less and less sober, my brain is fogging up every moment that I don't watch piercing fail reaction videos; in the end, I went home half the man I used to be, but at least I got my beads; but when I checked the time, I saw that it was 5 PM, how the fuck did that happen, I went outside immediately after I woke up; the crazier part still was when I got distracted for about 10-30 minutes, it suddenly got to 9 PM, like, no fucking time has passed and now it's dark!

I swear, time really wants me to fucking die.

But, I can hear you from the other side of the screen, with your little nose, saying something like, "I get it, man. Time is an ever-present force that affects us equally. No matter how much we run away from it, we can never escape, time always catches up. And even if we die, time will still keep going; if the entire human race dies one day, time will still exist forever more. We are nothing but ants trying to lie in such an immovable reality called time." Shut the fuck up; you don't know what we're saying, you bitch-ass; go get some real problems and then talk to me.

Or you might be saying something like "what's your deal with time, dude? i get how it feels when you lose track of time and then it flies by. but when you pay attention to it, it is pretty reliable. i don't see why you hate time so much" To that I say: good for you, go sit in the corner right there and be ignorantly blissful and don't bother me; I don't want to explain to you the horrors that I experience every day, but in short, I have a fucked up sense of time, 5 hours ago genuinely feel like yesterday; and trying to make a reason to that is a fucking nightmare.

It really seems like time wants me to die earlier than I would usually do, but I won't do it yet, I have a job to do; if I hear another word come out of your goddam mouth, I swear to fucking god, I'm gonna punch your chest so hard that it breaks your internalized clock; we'll see who's laughing now when that constant ticking and tacking drives you so mad that it leads you into doing desperate actions!

I swear, this time thing is going to be the death of me...

[hyperactivewhore]

I despise both Renesmee Cullen's and Hope Mikaelson's existences. Both characters are plot holes and shouldn't exist.

Renesmee Carlie Cullen is the daughter of Bella Swan and Edward Cullen. She's half-human and half-vampire, and in Twilight, it was explained that only male vampires can have children with female humans. But that doesn't make any sense because vampires in Twilight don't have any blood in their bodies. Then, Stephanie Meyer explained that the venom that is in their bodies works similarly to the bodily fluids that are in humans. But if that was the case, then Bella shouldn't have gotten pregnant. She should have become a vampire after having sex with Edward. Renesmee is called 'half mortal and half immortal' by Aro, but how can a person be half mortal and half immortal? She's either mortal or immortal. She can't be both. Does she age, or does she not? Can she live forever, or does she have the lifespan of a human?

Now, onto Hope.

Hope Andrea Mikaelson is the daughter of Klaus Mikaelson and Hayley Marshall-Kenner. She's a werewolf, vampire, witch tribrid. In the pilot episode of The Originals, it was explained that since Klaus was born a werewolf and became a vampire because of magic and not by drinking the blood of another vampire and dying with that vampire's blood in his system, he was able to conceive. Vampires in The Vampire Diaries are infertile and can not have children, and while Klaus is the world's first werewolf-vampire hybrid, he's still part vampire. He shouldn't have been able to have a child, which was confirmed in Legacies. The only reason Hope exists is because Malivore. So, if Malivore never existed, Hope would have never existed. She wasn't born because her father was created differently from traditional vampires, but because it is her destiny to defeat a mud monster.

Both characters are great (more so Hope because she was given her own show, and I grew to like her over Legacies' 4 season run. Renesmee was kinda there. Her CGI in the movies creeped me out, and she absolutely did nothing in the book), but their existence goes against the canons of their respective movies/books and show.

It's funny because both are created as plot devices to Bella and Klaus and they're meant to be the magical powerful baby of their universe, but their existence alone just makes it look ridiculous by breaking every single canon law.

As you said, Renaissance came out of nowhere. She was soo incredibly intelligent from the very first moment her parents made her, but apparently not smart enough to control her own strength seeing she broke several Bella's bones (like honestly, what the hell) and this demon spawn craved human blood for absolutely no logical reason other than Edward being a vampire. Ratatouille also could not be seen in the ultrasound or any other thing: she had a impenetrable amniotic sac because yes, exactly, her daddy is a vampire!

Honestly, I kinda feel bad for Ravioli. I've never finished reading Breaking Dawn (and I won't), it was such a corny book and I could only bring myself to the third part, where Bella spends time with baby Rasputin but I've heard interesting things to how the Cullen rise this sim. Apparently, Bella and Edward couldn't care less about their daughter, because as always they were more obssesed with each other and Rosalie did all the parenting, because the love birds couldn't be distracted with their CGI spawn. If I'm correct, Edward even called Bella more beautiful than Rim Job right in her face and instead of being mad, because their kid was right there, Isabella was just like "gosh edward, ily sm 😘😜😍"

Parents of the year.

Stephenie Meyer didn't care about Bella and Edward being parents: she just wanted the aesthetic that came with it, and she pulled the reasons of the human-vampire pregnancy out of her ass.

Actually, when I was in my twilight phase, I read a fanfic where Bella got pregnant, and the reason was a little more "coherent" than what Meyer gave: Having died so young, Edward's body "froze" his sperm and because he had remained a virgin for over a hundred years (lmao), he was able to get Bella, the first and only woman he slept with, pregnant. It's still shitty, and bad, but if they wanted them so badly to have a kid this was a better reason.

I just can't take Twilight books seriously. Apparently, there are no black vampires for a barely explained reason that is clearly racist (if I remember, the venom that vampires inject you during death just... removes your skin color), the mistreatment to the werewolves is just terrible, and there's Ratatunga too.

Now, moving to Hope Andrea Mikaelson, the white witch that is hated and loved in equal measures by the fandom. Oh my, this is gonna be interesting.

I have my moments with Hope, to be honest. Sometimes I completely adore her, and sometimes I just can't stand her. Her existence was completely pulled out of Pl*c's ass, who wanted to have her own version of Renameme so badly. Klaus shouldn't have even been able to procreate in the first place, because he was killed before Esther binded his werewolf side. Though vampires in tvd are more alive than dead, but that's a whole different thing. But clearly my point still remains.

I like Hope Mikaelson a lot more than Ragnarok Cullen, Summer Fontana/Danielle Russell and Mackenzie Foy are all really amazing and beautiful actresses who did great with the role they were given, but their characters completely broke canon. I like the tribrid more though because at least, she wasn't a fucking sim that aged five years in a week unlike Nestlé. The only way I could ever like Radioactive is by having her completely loathe her parents and family, especially because she was born in 2006 aka she's part of Gen Z.

Both characters shouldn't even exist in the first place, and Hope's existences is as much of a plothole as Riptide's. Renesmee gets more hate simply because of how she was in the womb and also because of how fast she grew, but they're both plotholes and shouldn't have been created no matter their popularity.

[wingedshadowfan]

some basic ya/fantasy/romance tropes that fourth wing took a spin on, imo (spoilers)

-weak and dainty female character trope - while violet is physically smaller, weaker and gets injured easily, we find it's due to a disability she was born with and there are two main ways she goes about this: she trains hard to become stronger, wherever that's possible, and also uses disability aid (because isn't that what Tairn's saddle is? the shorter daggers too, to some extent) which i think is so important and much better than her refusing that aid/never getting it in the first place, she takes no shit from characters who look at her like there's something wrong with her but she also knows her own body and its limitations

-the demsel in distress female character trope (similar to the one above) - because of her physical disadvantage and her lack of preparation for the riders quadrant, violet gets saved/protected by others in many situations and even gets accused of "hiding behind strong men", but as the book - and her training - goes on, she begins to stand her ground more and more, earning herself the nickname "violence" and making up for any physical shortcomings with intelligence, stubbornness and fervor, hard work, skill and good character (the reason why tairn and andarna both chose her, the former giving her a crazy op signet), so much so that she ends up single-handedly offing the guy who accused her of not being able to defend herself

-the enemies to lovers trope - unpopular take but violet and xaden were never truly enemies! despite it being marketed that way. at least not on xaden's part - his dad didn't kill brennan and he's known this (him responding with "hardly" when she said they were even when they first met at parapet), we don't know if he knows this but while lilith did "catch" his dad, she was against forcing the rebellion children to watch the executions too. so violet basically started off as a nuisance to him (she was never strong enough to be a problem - he thought the parapet would end her for him if need be), after watching her for a while - seeing the mismatched boots, her collecting berries, flinging the daggers, choosing to keep his secret, poisoning people, defying all odds - he even made sure the other marked ones wouldn't try to kill her either, which he easily could've just stood aside and let happen, because she became interesting to him, again through intelligence, skill and kindness, and the (mutual) interest and attraction developed into feelings; on her part it was a bit more difficult because she knew less and felt like everyone was out to get her, her most trusted people had warned her about him so she naturally kept thinking he hated her and wanted her dead - but other than him moving her squad to fourth wing on parapet day he'd made no moves indicating he wanted to harm her and had consistently been helping her instead; they never hated each other personally because they didn't know each other and when they really got to know each other, they just found respect and admiration for the other

-the good guy/bad guy/good girl love triangle (though it's usually more of an angle or a choice the girl needs to make) - in the very very beginning i was rooting for dain because i love childhood friends to lovers and i thought running from the riders quadrant could be a turn the plot takes for violet, i also personally didn't see myself finding a guy who wanted me dead all that sexy (even less considering his dad killed my brother), especially when he's apparently a cold blooded murderer, emotionally unavailable and generally quite threatening, but i am well aware there's a specific demographic who would eat the dark moody ripped bad guy up and leave the "boring" soft cute nice good guy childhood friend in the dust - that's a trope i despise and i'm so glad that here a) violet fully acknowledges, despite being physically attracted to xaden, that he's toxic and she shouldn't like him because he can't meet her emotional needs. and i don't remember characters from other books with this trope being so delightfully intelligent and self-aware (which is important because otherwise you're basically selling young girls the idea that this is okay and that unavailable, dangerous, messy men are hot and you can fix them - violet doesn't even try to fix him, she sets a firm boundary and forces him to fix himself and get his shit together if he wants her!) and b) it turns out xaden and dain's roles are actually reversed, with dain being much more toxic, manipulative, hypocritical and crossing boundaries he shouldn't be, while xaden is more supportive, attentive and caring, protective but not coddling, and while he's not ready to admit a lot of things to himself just yet, he's got some self awareness going for him too and he's sworn to do better (so rare in such books)