#i should say something cause its not just me.

[aaagustd]

friends & lovers | jww (m)

title: friends & lovers pairing: jeon wonwoo x female reader genre/rating: fluff, smut, best friends to lovers,  idiots to lovers; 18+ summary: Sometimes the love you’re searching for has been right beside you all along. Patience is the key…the right moment will present itself eventually. wc: 2.2k warnings: swearing, unprotected sex (reader is on the pill), restraints (wrist pinning), grinding/dry humping, clit stimulation, slight orgasm control, cumshots, crying, begging, soft sex, pet names, nipple play, cum play, aftercare release date: february 9th, 2025; 9:23pm est author’s note: Hello!! This was a bday gift I wrote for @beomcoups a while back. Huge shoutout to @hobeemin for beta reading it for me at the time. I’m currently moving all of my old content here, so if you’ve read this before don’t be alarmed lol. I’m the original author.

playlist: My Boo by Usher ft. Alicia Keys | Focus by NCT 127 | ‘bout you by Seventeen | Let Me Hold You by Bow Wow ft. Omarion  | Tonight I Celebrate My Love by Peabo Bryson & Roberta Flack | Candy by Baekhyun | By My Side by JUNNY | Boo’d Up by Ella Mai | Like You by Ciara & Bow Wow

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“People are staring at us.”

You both giggle as the carousel makes its final round, shyly peeking over your shoulders at the crowd of people watching you. Somehow, Wonwoo managed to get the ride operator to start it up with just you two on. 

Both of you hopped from seat to seat like you used to do when you were kids, and your parents had to threaten to take you home if you didn’t remain seated. Although you’re adults now, you’re still fond of the old habit.

“So, let them,” you shrug. “Maybe they’ve got eyes for the cutie on the horse.”

“Can you stop?”

Wonwoo throws his head back when he laughs and clutches his stomach, giving you a glimpse of the smile you haven’t seen in months.

Ever since he and his girlfriend broke things off, he’s been cooped up in his apartment, feeling down and not wanting to be bothered. You’re glad he accepted your offer to go to the fair and take his mind off things. He says he’s fine and looks better than he did five months ago, but you know that something’s still bothering him, and you hope that tonight you can dig deep enough to find it.

“Why would I? This is fun.” 

You both step off as the ride stops, feeling high with adrenaline. Suddenly, you feel his fingertips at your sides, and he playfully tickles you, making you shriek and squirm. 

“Wonwoo!”

On-lookers coo and clutch their chest, mainly older couples and romantics. Neither of you even notices the admiration they have in their eyes until someone grabs your attention.

“You two are such a beautiful couple. May my husband and I have a picture with you? You just remind us of our younger selves,” a lady in her golden years asks with a genuine smile.

Immediately, you begin to break the news to her, but Wonwoo interferes.

“Oh, ma’am, we’re not—”

“Sure! I’ll take it. I have long arms,” he insists, taking her phone when she hands it to him. Wonwoo throws his arm over your shoulder and holds it high enough to capture all four of you. He takes the picture but doesn’t stop there. “Now one for us.”

After returning the woman’s phone to her and her husband, he pulls his device from his pocket and takes another, but this time he brings you in a bit closer. He wraps his arm around you a little tighter and whispers in your ear as he snaps the picture.

“For new memories,” he says to you.

You release a shaky breath when you disperse, and you can’t do anything but smile and wave as the couple bids their farewells. 

You never could explain the butterflies in your stomach whenever Wonwoo would be so close to you in that way. It always seems so intimate, but you wouldn’t dare say it out loud. You know it’s only those buried feelings that are causing you to react this way and nothing you should feed into.

When you’re finally alone, you turn to him and ask, “So, what now? Are you ready to go?”

“A little bit,” he answers. 

“Well, don’t let me hold you up. I’m probably just gonna go grab something to eat until my roommate’s done fucking her boyfriend. I had fun, so thanks for coming—”

You pause when Wonwoo shakes his head.

“I said I was ready to leave here,” he informs. “Not leave you.”

“Oh, okay. So umm, where do you wanna go?”

“Aren’t you hungry?” he quizzes. “We can go grab something.”

You open your mouth to speak, but he continues.

“Or…we can meet at my place, and we can order something. You can stay over if you want.”

“Really?”

“Yup. I don’t mind,” he assures.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to rush you—”

Your mouth shuts when he gives you a look, but your smile grows when he turns away and starts walking toward the parking lot.

Both of you get in your vehicles and drive towards his apartment, the tingling sensation still coursing through your veins. You try your best to calm yourself before you get there, but as you get out of your car, your legs are wobbly and shaky, indicating that you are far from okay.

Wonwoo turns to you as his door opens.

“Wanna shower?”

Gratefully, you sigh. “Yes, please.”

After a shower, slices of pizza, and a couple of movies, you and Wonwoo lay awkwardly in his bed. Both of you scroll through your phones, trying to ignore the thick tension in the air. There’s something on his tongue; you can hear it. You want to ask him, but you don’t know how.

Eventually, you start to believe it’s just your nerves. You haven’t hung out like this since before his two-year-long relationship, so you figure you just need some re-adjusting. You wiggle your way towards him so you can familiarize yourself with the feeling of being so close to him.

It isn’t long before his fingers start playing in your hair, making your eyes slightly heavy. You roll over on your back so you can look at him and try to stop yourself from falling asleep so quickly.

His smile greets you and leaves you slightly curious.

“What?” you giggle.

“Nothing, I was just thinking.”

“About?”

He sighs. “I missed you. That’s all.”

When his eyes begin to wander, you follow them once they’ve set on a particular sight. It just happens to be your thighs, and you start tugging down your borrowed shirt upon the discovery.

“You’re beautiful,” he whispers, more to himself than anything.

You clear your throat. “Wonwoo, I’m glad you’re feeling like yourself again, but I don’t think I can be your rebound. I’m not—”

“What? No, love. It’s definitely not like that. It’s just…Fuck it.” He shifts in his spot so he can speak to you face to face, leaving you no option but to look at him, even though you’ve been avoiding eye contact since you got here. “I need to tell you something.”

“Okay, what is it?”

“It’s about the breakup…why it happened,” he explains.

You blink a few times. You never knew the reason behind the split or how it happened; it wasn’t your place to ask. Now that he’s finally telling you, there’s an uneasy feeling growing inside of you.

“We broke up because we liked other people. She wasn’t over her ex, and I…”

“And you?...”

He takes a deep breath as if he’s about to lay it all on the table.

“I had to be honest with myself and admit that I’m really in love with my best friend,” he confesses.

Your eyes widen, lips ready to run a mile a minute, but he speaks before you do.

“I thought about this before, but the timing was just never right. And now…” he sighs. “I don’t know. I just feel like we’re on the same page, but then again, you’re looking at me like I’m crazy.”

“Wonwoo, I—”

“I know. You don’t feel the same.”

The disappointment in his voice gives you all the courage you need to come clean, and you do so before you can change your mind.

“I do feel the same,” you admit. “I’ve loved you since we were teenagers. I just never knew how to tell you.”

He seems a little shocked after hearing this.

“Really?” Wonwoo asks, his thumb tracing circles on your hand.

“Yeah.”

Your best friend just stares at you, not saying anything. You hold his gaze and never break eye contact. Moments go by like this, until eventually, his lips begin to hover over yours. They become more inviting the longer you lay there waiting for something to happen.

However, Wonwoo toughens up and makes the first move on your behalf. His mouth presses against yours delicately, and he lowers his body so that you can run your hands through his hair.

You envelop each other and get lost within the first shared kiss between two best friends who have been denying their love for one another for over a decade. The pit of your stomach goes into a frenzy as the butterflies rise and flutter wildly.

Dizziness clouds your mind as you’re swept away by the feeling. You’re light as a feather, so high that coming down seems impossible. 

It doesn’t help that Wonwoo’s lips have become greedier, and his desire is growing by the second. Your legs part to allow him in the space, and he takes the opportunity instantly. Your wrists get pinned above your head while he slowly begins to grind his crotch against yours.

A moan slips out, and he takes the chance to invade your mouth with his thick muscle. Your tongues begin exploring each other’s crevice, and you become drunk off his taste. You can’t get enough of him but the need for oxygen exceeds your lust-driven fantasies.

“I want you,” you say without much thought. Your breathing is labored and rough, but you still try to speak.  “I need you.”

“Fuck, same. But…”

“But what?”

Wonwoo shakes his head. “No condoms.”

His voice oozes with need, and his bulge is straining against his shorts. He’s as desperate as you are, but he’s trying to hold back.

“We’re good on this end. It’s okay,” you assure him. “Are you?...”

He nods. “Yes, of course. I haven’t since…”

“Well, can we?” you try again. “Please?”

“Okay, baby.”

Wonwoo lets go of your wrists and pulls down his shorts, letting his dick spring out freely. A small gasp escapes you when his length slaps your thigh. You lift your head to see it and instantly become mesmerized by its girth. You crave it and want it to fill every inch of you just like you’ve always fantasized about in your room alone.

“Like what you see?” He smirks when you nod and starts to run the tip up and down your slit, coating it with your arousal and secretly stimulating your throbbing clit. “Let’s see if you can take it.”

When he slowly enters you, your mind goes completely blank. You arch into him as he bottoms out, and he holds you and places kisses up your neck.

“Wonwoo,” you call, and he smiles against your skin.

“Ready for me?”

“Yes, please. I want to feel you.”

Wonwoo’s movements start strong, and he makes sure to hold you in place while he thrusts into you, preventing you from flying off the bed. You cry his name over and over with each powerful snap of his hips.

He lifts your shirt and exposes your breasts to his greedy mouth, taking his time with each stiffened peak and making your eyes roll back from the multiple sources of pleasure you’re receiving. 

The coil inside you tightens until it can no longer stand the pressure, and you blurt out a warning to inform Wonwoo of your orgasm.

“Wonwoo, I’m so close!”

“Me too, baby,” he moans in your ear. You run your nails down his sweaty back to ground yourself because it feels like your soul will leave your body any minute. Wonwoo goes deeper and deeper until you can no longer stand the build-up growing inside of you. “Come for me, sweetheart.”

And on his command, your body gives in, and the pleasure takes over you. Tears roll down your cheeks, but Wonwoo kisses you before the salty droplets can reach your trembling lips. Your entire body is set aflame by the heat coursing through you. The intense feeling leaves you a panting mess beneath Wonwoo, and you just lay there as he fucks you through the rest of your orgasm until he finally reaches his release.

“Fuck, where can I?”

“Anywhere you want,” you answer. “I don’t mind.”

He can only nod as he pulls out and paints your stomach with his warm cum. Wonwoo uses the tip to smear his arousal and spell his name on your skin, making you giggle and slap his arm.

“You’re nasty,” you tell him.

“Anywhere you want… I don’t mind,” he mocks but still leans down to kiss you. 

You pout when he pulls away and disappears into his bathroom for about a minute. When he returns, you’re grateful to see him with a warm washcloth and a new shirt for you. He cleans you up and helps you change before he turns out the lights and joins you in bed. Neither of you say anything at first, but eventually, he can’t hold his tongue anymore.

“I really am in love with you. I would have never done this had you not asked. You’re more than a rebound—”

“I know that, Wonwoo. We’re good, okay?”

You turn on your side so you can hug him, and he nestles in your embrace.

“So, are we keeping this a secret or…?”

You release a breath before you answer, absentmindedly playing in his brown locks. You think about your answer for a moment, and then you reply.

“As much as I want to keep you all to myself… I’ve waited all my life to call you my boyfriend.”

“So what does that mean?” he asks shyly.

“It means…” You tilt his head so he can look at you. “If anyone asks, I’ll tell them the truth.”

Wonwoo smirks at you and returns to his position buried in your chest. He whispers as he drifts into his slumber.

“That’s my girl.”

And you couldn’t agree more.

[whore-ibly-hot]

Tw: Dubcon, coercion, orgasm denial, general guys being icky and manipulative.

(Its kinda ass idk)

Thinking about...

A couple of guys, not really delinquents bit certainly not 'upstanding' citizens just using you for some relief. It's probably after some event, maybe a rock show at some shithole downtown, or maybe you were just getting some snacks with guys you thought were your friends. Not thought, they are your friends, but you couldn't have imagined this.

The first fidgets with the lever of the backseats, trying to get them folded back into the trunk while number twos tugging at your skirt, your tits pressed harshly into the leather of his car. "Cmon, find the fucking lever!" He growls and number one, who raises his hands in defense. "What do you want me to do, its probably your fucking car that let this happen. This shit-bucket probably doesn't even have a lever for the seats anymore."

Number three is driving, slowly finding some small lot with minimal lights in the back of some old building, shifting into park. While the two in back continue to bicker, he makes his way to the front of you. "Are you two sure about this? Seems like going to far." He says, one hand gripping at his pants sleeve with tension.

"You're bricked up too, bro. You aren't exactly the virgin Mary here." Number two pauses, then chuckles. "But, maybe virgin does fit." One cackles too, prompting three to smack the shoulder of two. "You're not scared, are you? You want this plenty, right?" Two asks, squishing your cheeks together in a 'fishy' face with a free hand.

"Don't know." You're scared, tired from the the fun night, unsure why three guys you've always been platonic with are doing this, but you can't deny the aching in your gut, the way your thighs are rubbing a bit against the leather seams of the middle seat and the far right seat. "I'm not sure, you guys-" You yelp, a hard open-palm grazing across the sliver of exposed ass poking from under your slightly ridden up skirt.

"Fuck is wrong with you?" Three asks, suddenly the seat jolts down, making you gasp. "Easy, easy."

"Get that skirt off, I just know she's got a good ass." One's hands push up, grabbing a cheek each amd kneading them as he groans. "Fucking mint, look at this, baby!" One leans so he's over you a bit, hard clothed cock pressing against your ass as he whispers in your ear. "Why'd you hide this thing from us?" He asks.

"I wasn't hiding it-"

"Obviously." Two snarks. "We barely even had to lift this skirt up, you were practically flaunting it."

God, you're aching. Maybe it's half stress, half arousal making you run on adrenaline, but the lack of care they seem to have for how you feel about this is having a primal effect on you.

"Pussy's fat too..." One comments, yanking down the thin panties keeping your soaked lips from him.

"Careful!" You squeak, causing them all to actually pause for a moment. "Its... been a bit."

Two breaks out into a grin, realizing this should mean dwindling protests from you about the way they plan to use you.

"She's not saying yes." Three protests, hand coming to hover over your cunt, effectively blocking his eager friends wandering fingers.

"She said maybe, and look at her!" One tries to get his hands past threes hand. "She's dripping on his leather seats, she's wetter than a bitch in heat.

"Its not like we're holding her down in some alley or something!" Two adds, placing a kiss on your sweaty forehead. "This is loving compared to that. Vanilla stuff." He snips.

Three seems conflicted, eyes downcast as he reluctantly pulls a hand away, moving it to gently rub your back up and down, as if trying to soothe a cat.

"Finally. Glad you decided to knock off the cockblocking." Spreading the lips of your labia, one whistles lowly, dragging a digital from your hole to aroused bud from behind, gently circling once, then twice.

"Shit-" You whisper out, gripping the seat edges with slick hands. You can feel threes hand clench slightly, but you lay your cheek on his knee, casting a flushed and low-lidded glance up at him. This reassures him a little, but your head near his oh-so sensitive inner thigh makes this action also go right to his dick.

"Fingers, how many you want?" One whispers. You just mewl at the feeling of friction on your clit, whining when it suddenly stops. "Wait, wait, okay, two, two!" You exclaim. You jolt forward a bit at the slight intrusion, the digits working you towards a finish, but not at the pace you'd like.

"You're sucking him in like crazy, shit." Two chuckles, leaning to glance behind you. "Makes me wonder what kinda suction you'd have elsewhere." He fidgets with his belt, the sound of a zipper and belt clasp coming undone sounds out, and a snap of boxers being pulled slightly lower. Three looks disgusted as two just winks, taking his own cock in his hand and running his hand over it once, then twice before pressing it forward.

Your lips wet with the slightly sticky red tip he presses to them, prodding once or twice like he's seeking entrance. "You wanna out in? Just give it a taste, I promise I'm not gonna make you take it all the way, baby." Two chuckles as you awkwardly kiss the tip. "That's nice, but I'm not asking you to give it's first kiss." Gripping your hair, he guides it in a bit, groaning. "Yeah, there we go. Right around my cock, use your tongue." You let out a moan as one hits a spot with the tips of his fingers, curled inside. It reverberates around Two's cock, causing him to buck. He keeps his promise, you have to admit, he only bucks forward a bit before pulling his length back out. "You're taking it so fucking good, not gonna bruise your mouth though, she's taking it like a fucking champ, man." He glances at One. "You think she's close?"

"Her pussy's twitching like she's gonna pop any second." The bragging first member slows his pace, causing you to whine and pull your mouth off Two's cock. "Why'd you stop, wait- wait-" You're panting, on the verge of overstimulation and seeking that release rather than focus on all your conflicting feelings.

"Shh, calm down. You'll get your pussy rocked, calm down." Two elbows Three, nodding his head towards the man. He's been stoic since you out your head on his leg, conflicted and sickened, while simultaneously being sickening aroused. "Last chance to jump this, man. I know you want to.." Three just pushes him back, but moves to have you sit up, now facing him. His hands on your cheek. "Breathe. S' okay, you want to stop, or you want to finish this?" He asks.

"Finish it, baby. We'll stroke it over yo-" Three smacks off one, scolding him before turning back to you. "Your choice. Your decision. Don't listen to them." Three reassures you, arms on blocking you in and leaning over you slightly to keep the other two from interfering.

"Finish. I wanna cum, m' aching and-" You buck forward just a bit, and he gets the memo. "Okay, okay. Lay on your back, spread your legs, I'm gonna do the work."

You don't have to be asked twice; laying on the cool leather, this time back down, chest rising. Two hands get your feet tucked around Threes waist, and he lowers down on you. You're so hyper focused on how sensitive you are, and your 'friend'leaning over you you can barely register one and two jerking off, hoping to climax around the time you do.

Three gets himself lined up, but not before placing a few soft kisses on your neck. "I got you. Just forget about those idiots, okay? You and me, I'm taking care of you. I'll let you finish and make em' take you right back home."

You just nod, eyes squeezing tight as he enters. "Ah-" You groan. "You're big, fuck-"

He's not moving. "Too big?"

You shake your head, and he resumes several slow repitions. Eventually, he's fully sheathed, balls smacking against your ass as he thrusts. "Amazing, you feel so good, so good." He grunts. His hands brace on either side of you, but don't grip you harshly like one and two. "Is it good for you?" He asks.

"Up..." is all you can mumble. He gets the hint, angling his cock slightly. Soon, his bulbous tip is hammering that spongy place deep inside you, and you can feel your release finally hitting. "Yes, cumming, I'm finishing-" You start to yell, then gasp at a hot rush of fluids that's aren't your own.

"Holy shit!" Two cackles along with one, as three halts in his movements. "Mister 'i don't wanna, it's not right' might've just knocked you up!"

Your still riding out your orgasm, but three has immediately snapped out of ir. "I didn't mean to, sorry, I didn't-" he's pulling out, immediately smacking two who finished a bit ago. "Its your car, drive. Fucking drive, go to the pharmacy." Two puts his hands up, but obeys.

"M' so sorry." Three says as he sits you up. "I promise I'm clean and stuff, and we're gonna grab plan b, get you some water too-"

"Its okay." You blurt. "Its okay, I know you didn't mean to." Biting your lip, you think about what happened. Of any other guys did this, it'd be horrifying, and you admit it was scary. But... it also wouldn't feel nearly as hot with anyone else. "It was good."

"Hell yeah it was." Both of you were so caught up, you didn't realize One stayed in the back of the car. "Wait till you get a ride on me, baby. I promise I'll be even more of a gentleman. Shit, I'll tell you before it shoot my load in you."

You should go out for late night drives more.

[kissingarthurclaus]

Good morning everypony. I had to get up at the unholy hour of 4:30am and now I'm at work 🫠🫠 ngl I'm not having a great time

[hirayalore]

Hi :) Can you read "Sirius Black x Mudblood!Slytherin fem!reader" story. It can also be platonic because of the home and blood status of the reader.

Thank you already

[ sirius black x slytherin!reader | fluff | 2.9k words ]

note. hehehe made a few alterations so that it’d make sense why the reader is put into slytherin despite being “muggle-born” since i don’t think a muggle-born would be placed in the said house (i blame my brain for being too invested that i can’t let it pass hsdjhsjdh).

this is also kinda unedited (unfortunately i too am lazy) and went way longer than intended because i couldn’t resist putting in a little backstory!!! ALSO did i mention that this sirius has me on my knees??????

Everybody always wondered how the Sorting Hat decided to put you in Slytherin.

In their eyes and in their mind, you were a Muggle-born—a filthy Mudblood—the exact kind of wizard that Salazar Slytherin detested and insisted not to invite in Hogwarts during its establishment.

Even now when it has been 7 years since the sorting ceremony, you could feel the curious eyes of everybody in the Great Hall whenever it was hard to sleep, could hear how those Slytherins murmured amongst themselves and asked which family you belonged, taking into consideration that the last name you bore didn’t sound familiar nor seemed like it came from the Sacred Twenty-Eight to be worthy of being part of their Hogwarts house.

But what they weren’t aware of—and what you only came to discover yourself many years later during adulthood—is that you actually came from an ancient and noble pure-blood family, a lineage that was acclaimed to be one of the oldest wizarding clans in Britain until its believed downfall in the late 1950s.

It was just that your parents, who have died for a reason that remained to be unknown (yet believed to be the cause of the Dark Lord), left you at the doorstep of an unsuspecting Muggle family just days before their passing, believing that you were safer at the hands of the non-magic folk.

They were right, of course. The Muggle family that raised you did their best in making sure that you were loved and cherished in every way possible. Hence when you received your Hogwarts letter at the age of 11, although they were confused as you were, they did the best they could to support you and lead you to the world they were convinced you always belonged in.

But contrary to your real parents who had great judgment in bringing you to a loving Muggle home, your Muggle parents were misled to think that it would be good for you to be with others like your kind, oblivious to the discrimination and hatred that you faced for merely growing up with non-wizards.

“That’s my seat, Mudblood,” Mallory Flint practically hissed at you upon finding you in the common room, reading on one of the leather sofas with the thought that you could have some peace and quiet even for a day.

You sighed, closing your book.

At this point, you were smart enough not to fight back and give people like Mallory the satisfaction of being affected by their harsh treatment.

However, as you stood up and attempted to walk past her, she grabbed your arm, holding you in place. “You have something you want to say to me, ____?” she taunted, smirking. “You look angry ‘cause I’m making you leave.”

You press your mouth together, your teeth gritting in self-restraint. “No, I’m not angry.”

Her smirk transformed into a sneer. “Is that so?” she said. “Good then–because you should really know by now that there’s no place for people like you here in Slytherin. Or perhaps do you still need a reminder? A little knock on the head to help you with what you’re always forgetting?”

At the word ‘knock’, Mallory tapped your head with the tip of her wand, leaving a slight sting that you couldn’t pretend didn’t exist.

You bit the insides of your cheeks, a scowl casting your features that she noticed.

She raised her eyebrows, understanding now what ticked you off, and without hesitating, tapped your head again, this time harder.

“Seemed like you do need a few little knocks to get your brain working. Must be due to being a Mudblood and all.”

Her minions laughed at the statement, the obnoxious and annoying sound of their laughter leading you to grow more pissed off than you should be.

It must have been that, and your impatience this evening—and the way Mallory didn’t stop sputtering nonsense, and how the initial peace you thought you were granted earlier was stolen, that brought you to abruptly whip your wand out at the motion of her attempting to hit your head again.

She paused, scoffing, eyes growing darker at the manner in which you pointed it in her direction in warning. “You sure you want to do that, ____?”

At your silence, she gave you another sneer and another hard knock.

On the forehead.

You no longer thought twice, your hand was already moving before you could properly think.

With a quick swish of your wand and a whispered incantation, a hex was sent to Mallory’s direction, hitting her on the front of her face and giving her a minor whiplash. 

“Bloody—” She began to scream in disbelief at your audacity, but her words cut off as her tongue started to change, elongating and hardening into a horn. It gave her the unsettling appearance of a twisted Pinocchio—only instead of an abnormally long nose, it was her tongue that had transformed.

You couldn’t help but snicker at the ridiculousness of how she looked.

But then Mallory’s friends turned to you (after fussing over their leader who was now red in the face and throwing some sort of tantrum), and you were immediately reminded that this standoff wasn’t over unless they already had their revenge.

So, in sudden fear for your life, you sprinted out of the Slytherin common room as fast as you could, hearing their footsteps follow after you with an even faster speed to catch up.

You had no idea where to go, and you were sure that it was past curfew already given the empty hallways that you darted past through. You kept on thinking of places to hide, of vacant classrooms you could run into for the meanwhile, yet given how your mind was in shambles and playing a loop of Mallory’s tongue turning into a frightening horn, you just couldn’t identify where the best hiding spot could be.

That is until you turned to the left corridor of the seventh floor and spotted a massive door you didn't recall ever seeing, its sight urging you to come closer and come in.

You took a pause, contemplating if it was wise to go inside a room you had a strange feeling about, but at the sound of your bullies’ footsteps getting louder, you deduced that you had no choice and grabbed the door handle, no time for second-guessing.

Quickly stepping inside, you tried to lock the door to prevent them from coming in if ever they realize that this is where you must have gone to. 

However, such measures didn’t need to be done because as soon as you were in the darkly lit room, catching your breath and making sense of what was happening—the door began to slowly deteriorate in front of you, slowly being absorbed in the wall and vanishing subsequently.

“Shite,” you whispered, panic bubbling in your system at the realization that you might be trapped here for the whole night.

You took a step back, examining the entirety of the wall, trying to see something that wasn’t there to help you with your case. But there was nothing, only granite or stale or whatever material it was that these stones were made of. 

“It’ll come back,” a sudden drawling voice interrupted your inner turmoil and made you freeze on the spot. “I’d say give it a few minutes or so.”

You swiveled around almost immediately, alerted by the presence of another person in this makeshift sanctuary the castle made for you. 

The moment you did, your gaze landed ahead to where a boy with dark mid-length hair was leaning forward against the balcony, his back turned to you. You couldn’t see his features clearly, even when he moved his head to the side to reveal a cigarette between his lips—yet the moment he looked in your direction and your eyes met, it dawned on you who this boy was.

Sirius Black, one of the four infamous troublemakers in Gryffindor.

You blinked in surprise while he kept his eyes locked on you, blowing a ring of smoke in the air with unusual ease.

The both of you have never interacted before despite being in the same batch and a few classes since first year. You were sure that the reason behind that was perhaps his great hatred towards Slytherins, as you were no stranger to how he often delivered biting remarks towards Severus Snape and yelled insults to your house at every acceptable opportunity he could find (e.g. Quidditch matches).

Nonetheless, you’ve always been silently thankful that his annoyance towards Slytherin never extended to you, as you reckoned you were already suffering enough with the majority of your housemates alone to deal with another menace like himself.

“I hope you’re not planning to stand there all evening,” he said.

At his comment, you forced yourself to march towards the balcony, not knowing how you should approach this peculiar situation. A part of you was convinced that being here was no better than being out there, but the other part was telling you that Sirius hasn’t hexed you yet so that must be a good sign.

When you reached the balcony, the cool air greeted you and tossed your hair back in the breeze. You squinted a bit, brushing aside the slight burning sensation it gave your eyes, and took in the beauty of the night horizon. You didn’t even think Hogwarts offered such a view, maybe due to how your common room was in dungeons and you were far too much of a coward when it came to extreme heights to reward yourself with this kind of scenery.

You could see the school grounds, the distant ridges of the Scottish Highlands… the Forbidden Forest, the Quidditch Pitch, the Black Lake that appeared serene in the moonlight…  

“Wow,” you breathed out, not realizing that you said it loud enough for Sirius to hear.

He glanced at you. Then, his hand suddenly stretched closer to where you were, offering a cigarette with a casual gesture. “You seem like you need it.”

You didn’t know what that meant. Regardless, you took the stick from his possession.

Sirius waited, staring, and upon feeling like you were left with no option but to finish what you started, you hesitantly took a drag, inhaling far too quickly that as soon as the smoke entered your lungs, you were coughing it out—your throat burning and eyes watering alongside it.

A smirk flickered across his face. “You’ve never done that before,” he said, his tone making it very apparent that he was stating a fact and not asking for a confirmation.

You urged him to reclaim the cigarette with haste, still coughing while also fanning the smoke away. “Merlin, why do you lot—” cough, cough— “enjoy that? It’s like gulping down a mouthful of dragon's breath!”

“It can be therapeutic.” He brought it again to his lips and drew deeply on the cigarette, releasing a slow puff of smoke. “And you should have told me you’ve never smoked before. Peer pressure isn’t exactly my style.”

“I wanted to give it a go.”

“Which clearly, you hated.”

“Clearly.” You were still coughing, your mouth awfully tasting like ash. 

Sirius grinned. “Well, at least you know better than to take a cigarette without knowing how to smoke next time.”

“Thanks for stating the obvious.”

He watched in obvious amusement as you continued to cough, looking like you wished you could conjure water or whatever it was that would help the itching that you were still feeling inside your throat to go away. It was unlike you to go head on with something so unfamiliar and so… unorthodox as smoking, but there must have been something with the already unpredictable events of this evening or the presence of a mischief-maker as Sirius that coerced you to do it.

You twisted around once you calmed down, returning to your previous position to go back in admiring the starry sky, unbeknownst that Sirius was still staring at you. “Will it really take long before the door appears again?”

“Not too long.” He exhaled the last wisp of smoke away from you, then pressed the cigarette to the cool stone of the balcony, snuffing it out with a slow motion. “Just until the people you’re running from are far enough.”

Heat crept to your face. “I wasn’t running away from people.”

“Sure you weren’t.” That obnoxious smirk made a reappearance on his infuriatingly handsome features. “And I didn’t go here because I was running away from Filch.”

That made you scoff. “You were running away from Filch?”

“Yeah. James and I put Dungbombs in his office.” He seemed proud. “Then we almost got caught, and James ran back to the Gryffindor Tower while I went here to my favorite hiding spot.”

You looked at your surroundings, pretty much confused on which part of the castle you were supposed to be. “Where are we exactly?”

“No clue.” Sirius shrugged, unbothered by the fact that he indeed didn’t have a clue on where you two  were exactly. “Only thing I know about this place is that it’s here whenever I need it. The first time I found it, it was last year when I was sneaking out at night and almost ran into Professor McGonagall.”

“Of course, you were.” You mumbled.

“So, who is it?” He asked, going back to the main topic, curious. “Was it Filch too?”

You shook your head. “No, it wasn’t Filch.”

“A professor?”

“No.”

“An ex-boyfriend?”

A snort. “No.”

“Then who?”

You sighed, relenting on just disclosing who the person was since you reckoned it wasn’t information that needed to be kept secret at all cost anyways. “It was Mallory Flint—well, her minions, actually—but it’s because of her. Always been. I’m sure you’re well aware of who she is.”

“I am.” He narrowed his eyes, pretending to think. “She’s that Slytherin girl who looks like she might have been conceived from a troll, isn’t she?”

The unforeseen insult caused you to laugh out loud, your laughter slightly echoing in the walls. “Yes, you are absolutely right.”

Sirius laughed as well. “What’d she do?”

“Oh, you know, the standard. Insulting me, taunting me, rubbing it in my face that I’m a—” You abruptly stopped yourself, this sense of awareness that you were babbling too much hitting you hard.

This was Sirius Black for Merlin’s sake. He hated Slytherins, and you knew that he came from a lineage of respectable pure-blood wizards too (qualities of his that were awfully contradicting). Venting about the discrimination you constantly faced and the bullying you had to endure since you stepped foot in this school might not be the smartest decision to make.

“A Muggle-born.” He finished for you.

You swallowed hard. “Yeah. That.”

“Typical. They always think that they’re bloody above everybody else.”

“You don’t think the same?” you asked. “I mean, you’re not much different than they are.”

Sirius scowled at that, like the implication of your words offended him. “Being a pure-blood is not something worth flaunting about.”

“It doesn’t look like it to other people.”

“Well,” he breathed in deeply, gray eyes flickering to the view ahead, “those kinds of people have nothing to brag about other than being a pure-blood. A bit tragic if you come to think of it.”

“I suppose.” Your fingers were absentmindedly scratching the material of your robes. “So, does that mean you have other things to brag about other than being in the noble house of Black?” You then added with a tease.

His lips curved up, displaying an expression that showed a combination of a smirk and grin. “Obviously. With a face like mine, do you really think anyone sees me and immediately thinks about my bloodline?”

The confidence, the way he looked at you, and the fact that he was goddamn correct made you blush. It led you to be speechless for a good minute, staring at him and his face that really could make anyone forget about his last name—something that you know he notices with how his grin takes its full form.

However, before he could comment about it and make you wish that the ground would swallow you whole, his gaze shifted to the doors, and you followed suit, exhaling in relief as the exit reappeared, granting you a chance to escape.

“Uh, I should go,” you said immediately, a statement that he raised an eyebrow at in obvious amusement. “Wouldn’t want to be caught or anything.”

“Sure, love. You do that.”

You ignored the hard beat of your heart. “And you? You’ll stay?”

“For a few minutes more, yeah.”

“Alright. Well…” You trailed, already inching towards the door. “Bye, then.”

You muttered curses under your breath as you made a run for it towards the doors, scolding yourself for appearing like a damn fool in front of Sirius. You were certain that he was making fun of you in his head, or that he was going to tell this encounter to James Potter, or that when you wake up tomorrow, your housemates will find another reason to torment you because of being chummy with a Gryffindor like Sirius.

“Hey, ____.”

You stopped in your tracks. Not only because he called your name, but because you were shocked that he even knew it in the first place.

With a slow turn, you saw him leaning backwards against the balcony, elbows supporting him.

“Hm?” You tried to act nonchalant.

He tilted his head slightly, smiling smugly, and carried on uttering the words that you’d come to replay in your mind over and over again.

“Same time tomorrow?”

gentle reminder: this author loves feedback! let her know your thoughts if you enjoyed reading this fic and you’ll add 100+ points in her writing motivation meter ♡

[moonchild1]

okay so the first thing that caught my eye was the warning yoon why????? a whole jk and ady warning i can't i don't think i can make it through them fucking 😩😩😩 like oc and nel i can handle but jk and ady ugh nooooooo our boy our prince not her please anyone else i can take but not her (i just realized the hate train towards ady is strong damn my loyalty to oc ain't cracking) so i am just going to power through that part and take the angst that comes with it (which I welcome) i did notice that subtle hint at of using someone and the fantasies uhmmmmm ok that must be the upside... I honestly wonder why oc isn't mentioning her friendship with jk I honestly love it it's giving me little tingles, i don't think i mentioned it but uhm this slow burn is everything its freaking burning and i think oc is definitely feeling it now that jk is with someone, the little encounter at the cafe and the texting they are just adorable and fluffy my face hurts from the smiles... I just love how they have these opinions about each other's partners like the red flags they each see but they are all about each other's happiness, oc held back with ady but oooh jk isn't 😂 you go boy you tell her gosh i love his character in that scene.... oc and nel's scene had me pausing cause i literally went why the heck is she thinking about jk at a time like this and then she said it too it was epic oh oc you give me the giggles😂

wait what she didn't finish?!?!??!?!?! THIS IS MY ACTUAL REACTION IT'S LIKE OC IS IN MY HEAD ANSWERING ALL MY QUESTIONS OC BABYGIRL NO DIDN'T YOU LITERALLY GIVE YURI ADVICE ABOUT HER DATE AND NOW THIS 😩😩😩

and we jump straight into jk's horror I can't help it this back to back is amazing, not me shouting no through out his entire scene why jk why, here's oc is having trouble and ady on her fourth whyyyyyyyy he better have oc on his mind

i love how jungkook says nels name in full i can literally picture the disgust and the face he would pull (cue oc eye roll) italics and all..

i am writing this as i read so everything scene/sentence i go to write something on my notepad so i hope it all makes sense and let's just say when he shut her up the scene was better to read ugh jungkook likes oc he likes her fuck can they get together already i am dying here this chapter was perfect (even if ady was in it) like the build up and their thoughts both being on each other oh that tension is building i love the progression between them and the next chapter is gone be golden ahhhhhh lemme run over

yoon you beautiful genius you have my heart this fic is everything and it's getting more and more captivating as it goes along i can't wait to see what more you do in this series seriously yoon with every update i go back and re-read everything again and I am in awe every single time and your talent, like this should be printed like i want a physical copy when it's done you are brilliant and such a star for coming up with this ily yoon i hope you know that 🥹🖤

To What We Were Before, And All The Things After | JJK | Ch. 6 | M

Title: Eastern Arrivals and Unwanted Doubt

Pairing: Prince!College Student!JK x Fine Arts Major!(F)!Reader

Series Rating//Genre: (M) | College AU, Mild Royalty AU, Smut, Angst, Fluff, S2F2L, Indiffernce to lovers, sloooowwww ass burn

Summary: Nel's here for the week and you couldn't be more excited!! Jungkook's another story though...

Warnings: M, fluff, smut, swearing, drinking, pining, angsstt, slight boundary pushing (not sexual), unwanted/ unneeded overprotectiveness, jealousy, lying, [reader eats bacon and eggs but it's not specified what kind or where it's from, just bacon and eggs, so whether that means veggie, vegan or normal is up to you], intentional pissing off of Nel, a little spat between major characters, sex as a plot device.

Mature warnings under the cut.

Word Count: 6,945

Release Date: April 20, 2:00PM

A/N 1: 6 months later and we have chapter 6! slow updates, but they will be written and they will be posted. I have no plans to abandon this, I just, very unfortunately, have a bit of an outernet life now. So not a lot of free time to be creative which I hate. But it's here!!

Series: Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five

Mature Warnings: Consensual sex x 2, both reader with Nel and JK with Ady -> sorry not sorry cuz it's plot sex. We got us some: kissing, protected sex (as we should), missionary, fingering, oral (f. rec), tiny bit of groping (consenual), multiple orgasms, loud sex, like annoyingly, sex as a terrible coping mechanism (imo), fantasizing.

Bouncing lightly from foot to foot, you’re buzzing after finally receiving the text you were waiting on a few minutes ago.

Nelly <3 [10:10pm]: Landed. See you soon 😘

He’s almost here. He’s almost here!

Just a few more seconds until—

The gates slide open. A flood of people in a mixture of sweats and business casual wear with luggage of all sizes and neck pillows walk through. You hold up the sign above your head with both hands, a smile that could outshine the sun plastered on your face, and search.

Where is he? Where is he, where is he, where is he, you think as you scour the bodies filing out of the automatic doors. You can’t see him. He’s none of the nameless faces that pass you by as they find their family, friends or rides. 

Is this even the right group of people? What if his luggage got lost and he won’t be out with this group. What if he got taken aside for some reason, and now he’s being held in some dusty room being asked a bunch of stupid questions he doesn’t know how to answer? What if he’s fig—

But then there’s a gap in the crowd, and the boy you’ve spent the last half decade of your life with comes into perfect, crystalline view. His lips pulled taught, teeth beautifully bared as he sets his sights on your sign high in the air, then down to you.

And you're running. 

You’re running and dodging and swerving until you’re jumping into Nels arms as he abandons his suitcase in favour of keeping you both up right. He buries his face into your neck, holding you so tightly you think he’ll never let go. And that’s just fine with you as you hold on just as tight, taking in a big breath of him too. 

He smells like airplane and coastal breeze and most importantly, home. 

Nel smells like home.

A muffled, “Ohhhhhhh, I missed you,” greets your ears, and you melt into him even more if that's even possible.

“I missed you too,” you say, pulling back and kissing him. You don’t really care if there’s an audience or not right now. Not when Nel’s here, and he’s in your arms, and he’s yours for a whole 9 days and life is as it should be once again.

He releases his hold slightly, but your arms don’t leave his shoulders. The sign still clutched, now crushed and crinkled, in one hand. 

“Car?” he asks, a kiss to your nose.

“This way,” you lead, releasing your hold.

Luckily, his suitcase is small, so he forgoes rolling it, instead gripping the handle at the top and carrying it in one hand. Your own reaching for his other and not letting go. He’s going to have to peel you off him if he wants space right now. 

Nel’s wearing his usual fall attire; a dark green school sweater that has ‘ECAD’ written over the chest in a large, academic looking mustard yellow font, regular old blue jeans, and dark brown lace up boots. His short, dirty blond hair's covered by a hat you’d gotten him as a highschool graduation present, and his ocean blue eyes remain as gorgeous as they were the day you met. 

Passing through doors to the outside and back to lot J, you hop in the car as he puts his bag in the trunk.

“How have you been? What’s new? What’s not? Tell me everything,” he asks as he climbs in and sits beside you, hand finding yours again. 

Never gone for too long. You relish in the comfort and happiness that alone brings you. 

He’s finally here. You finally have him back.

“I’m great. Yuri’s still Yuri, classes are only a little more challenging this year, but I’m still at the top of them,” Nel slips in a ‘not surprised’ and you smile brighter as you continue. “They’re already telling us to start brainstorming ideas for our thesis show next year,” you have no idea what you’re going to do, but you’re working on it. “Campus is the same, dorms are the same, the cafe’s the same. Though, they have the egg tarts I like in more, which is awesome for my taste buds and terrible for my bank account.” 

Vivian stayed true to her word, and now they had the tarts in every week. 

“I can only imagine,” Nel jokes.

“Uhhmm, what else…” a thought pops up, and you guess you can tell him. It doesn’t reveal anything the whole world doesn’t already know. “The prince is dating Adaline Dupree.”

His eyebrows raise, remembering, “Oh yeah, that’s right, the prince goes to your school now.”

“Yep.”

“Have you met him?”

Is he seriously not completely shocked at the prince dating Adaline? You only bitched about her to him all the time.

“Uhhh… yep, once or twice, I guess.” 

You hate it. You hate lying, especially to Nel. You hate it so much, but it’s for the greater good. It’s to keep the peace. But that doesn’t stop the burning feeling in your chest nor the roil in your belly.

“The day he arrived Yuri dragged me down to see him speak. She made us sit front row because Yuri,” Nel nods, knowing exactly what you mean. “He had everyone assemble to hear why he was at school and tell us not to treat him like a prince. He wants to be able to study without his title getting in the way.”

You hit your blinker, making a one handed left turn. 

“Makes sense. Is he nice at least?” Nel doesn’t sound at all suspicious, and why should he? You’ve never given him reason to not believe you at your word before. Never lied to him before.

Fuck you hate this so much. It was so much easier when he was 5000 miles away. But now that he's right beside you? This week may end up being more difficult than you thought.

“He was very princely. Tried to kiss my hand like he did like every other girl there, but I made it a handshake instead. Figured if he wants to be treated like everyone else, I would liste—Oh!” you laugh before you can even get the words out.

“What?” he asks, intrigued but confused.

You can barely speak coherently. “You should have seen Yuri’s face when I called him Jungkook and not Prince or Your Highness...her eyes nearly fell out of her head,” tears are starting to form from laughing so hard. “It was great.”

“He didn’t mind?” Nel asks and you shake your head. Yuri’s face that day will forever be seared into your brain for whenever you need a pick-me-up. 

“No, he was grateful actually. I was the first person that had addressed him like that, the way he’d asked to be.” Stopping at a red light, you're finally regaining yourself.

“Well,” he squeezes your hand, “you always were good at first impressions,” and looks at you so softly you can’t help but smile into the kiss you give him. 

He remembers that school art fair just as fondly as you do. 

Nel pulls away first with a thought. “Is Yuri with us this time?” 

Yuri hadn’t been able to go home last year, her parents too busy on a work trip, so she stayed back and kicked it with you two, but also gave you your space when needed.

Lots and lots of space.

“Nope! Parents welcomed her with open arms this afternoon, I’m sure. They’re all on some tropical island down south. She’s bringing me an ocean bottle though, so I’m excited for that. It’s been a while since I’ve been able to add a new one.”

Everytime you travelled somewhere with a beach you got a glass bottle and filled it with half sand, half water, added in some shells or rocks and labelled it. Instead of towels, keychains, or magnets, you did ocean bottles. They lined a shelf in your room back home. 

You probably have at least fifteen of them by now. Your mum likes to travel and make sure you experience the world around you, not just your little corner of it.

“Oh that’s great babe! I know how much you love those.”

“Yeah, it is.” You lean your head on his shoulder, basking in his presence for as long as the light remains red. 

He’s here. He’s yours. 

You only have to do this for a couple more years and then you’ll be together all the time. God you can’t wait. But you are nothing if not disciplined. 

And it’s going to be so worth it in the end.

The rest of the ride to your dorm goes by quickly. 

Some more red lights, some more kisses. You point out the same things you always do on the way back, and Nel acts like it’s the first time he’s seen them, just like he always does.

His hand never leaves yours over the center console. 

Soon enough, you find yourselves flopping down on your bed. Bags, jackets and shoes, scattered. Nel pulls you into him, his head on your pillow, yours lying on his chest. True peace settling in for the first time in months.

“I can't wait until we’re done school and I have more than four and a half months with you a year,” he sighs.  “It’s not enough. I want more. Need more.”

“Me too. But good things come to those who wait.”

“Yeah…I’m just really sick of waiting.” 

“Me too,” you repeat in a yawn. 

Nel’s breathing slowly evens out as you lie there, content to be in your arms again. And you look up to see his eyes closed, warm exhales brushing over your face from his nose. 

You can’t blame him for being so tired. He’d had an early morning exam before flying out, even brought his suitcase to it so he could leave the second he was done. Then, the flight alone was ten hours, plus travel times to and from the airports was about an hour each way, and the wait time before boarding was another two. 

Shit, he’s probably been awake for around eighteen hours straight at this point because he’s also the type that can’t sleep on planes no matter what he tries. 

Oh, Nel...Of course he’s exhausted.

Giving him a squeeze before getting up, you take off his socks and jeans carefully, then tuck him into bed as much as you can. You’d try the sweater, but it involved too many working parts and you didn’t want to wake him, so you figure it’s best to have the window open tonight instead. 

Grabbing your phone, you tiptoe to the bathroom and do your night time routine. It’s not an overly complicated one, just brushing your teeth, washing your face and a simple 3 step skincare routine of cleanser, toner and moisturizer. Short and sweet, but it does the job. 

Halfway through brushing, you do your friend due diligence and send Yuri a ‘back safe’ text, just like she’d sent you her own ‘here safe’ when she’d landed.

You spit and rinse, moving onto washing your face and applying cleanser.

Teeth clean and face moisturized, you sneak into your room again. Nel's still out cold. 

You sneak out of habit—your mom wakes at the sound of a pin dropping. But absolutely nothing could wake Nel now outside of his mother’s voice and his morning alarm. It’s a talent of his you’ve always been jealous of.  

Removing today's clothes and tossing them in your overflowing hamper—reminder to self: do laundry—you slide on your pjs and climb into bed beside him, plugging in your phone and setting it down. 

A thought pops into your head and you pick it back up, shooting a quick text before you can think twice. 

You [11:26pm]: home safe

It pings not seconds later.

PJK [11:26pm]: Thanks Picasso  PJK [11:27pm]: glad ur home safe

Your heart beats a little louder at the nickname, and you chalk it up to the excitement still in you at having Nel here and being tired. 

But you sleep better that night than you have in a long time. 

A short, repetitive, rhythmic vibration. 

Picasso [11:26pm]: home safe

Jungkook is still standing in the same corner by the wall, Adaline somewhere in the crowd in front of him dancing with her friends. She asked him to join her, but he declined. He doesn’t need to see himself more than half drunk and dancing on the cover of tomorrow’s news cycles. Not to mention his security team would shut the party down the second a camera flashed.

His guards are carefully stationed throughout the house, all dressed down in casual wear, a few with empty cups in their hands. One is watching some sort of beer pong like game in the corner, another is mingling with some guys over in the kitchen. Three he can’t immediately see. And he knows his head guard is outside in a black car ready to get him out at a moment's notice.

Nobody can tell they aren’t here for the party, not unless they’re sober enough to notice watchful eyes continually making their way over the crowd as the night goes on. 

Your text woke him from the stillness he’s adapted from standing so long, trying hard not to draw attention to himself. 

You were home safe. Home safe from the airport. Home safe from picking up Cornelius. 

Your boyfriend. 

Cornelius, your boyfriend. 

He doesn’t acknowledge his teeth grinding.

You were home from picking up your beau but even then, you’d texted him to let him know you were back on campus safely. To let him know you were okay. 

It’s the first thing that makes him smile all night.

So he sends back, a bit to quickly: 

Me [11:26pm]: Thanks Picasso Me [11:26pm]: glad ur home safe

Because it means something to him that you deem him close enough to send a ‘home safe’ text too. 

That you want him to know you’re back.  

Want him to know you’re safe.

Whether you know it or not, your safety means a lot to Jungkook, so that little two word text makes his heart lurch. 

He needs to leave. 

He needs to get out of this fucking house and back to his dorm. He came, he drank, he observed, he fulfilled his boyfriend duty.

That’s enough for him. 

He shoots Adaline a text that says he isn’t feeling well and gets out as fast as he possibly can, dodging bodies left and right and doing his best to hide his face. 

Once he’s out, security team in tow, the cooling midnight air does him some good. 

“Someone make sure she gets back to her dorm safe,” he says in their general direction, brain too muddled to be polite in this exact moment, but it’s nothing they haven’t seen before. 

This is going to be such a long week.

He can’t wait till it’s over. Till he doesn’t have to share anymore. 

He was never very good at it anyway. 

The smell of bacon wakes you. 

And toast, and…

Eggs? 

You think, at least. Since when do you have bacon? Or eggs? Toast is a given, it’s part of your life’s blood.

Opening your eyes, you blindly reach for your phone, successfully unplugging it and bringing it to your face.

The screen is too bright but you suffer through it, squinting.

9:27am. 

9:27? 

You slept for ten hours!?

You can’t remember the last time you slept more than 6 consecutively, aside from recovery nights, and even then it was fitful.

Nel comes in with two plates, his full with a very Eastern breakfast of pancakes, scrambled eggs and bacon. Yours with two pieces of toast, lots of bacon, a bit of eggs and some fruit. Where did he—?

He smiles at your confusion, “You have a cafeteria that sells breakfast food, you know.”

You know that.

“I know that.”

“Do you? Because the look on your face says otherwise.”

You flop back down and pull the pillow over your head, mumbling incoherent nonsense. You rarely used the dorm cafeteria for breakfast. Much preferring the greenhouse cafe or simple toast and juice that you can make in your dorm.

He chuckles. “Two breakfasts for me then, okay, if you insist,” Nel moves to leave but you screech, uncovering your face.

“Noo! I want it. Please, sweet nutrition,” he hands the plate over when you sit up, arms out stretched, and you dig in. 

After a piece of bacon, you ask, “How long have you been up?”

Nel’s sitting with his legs crossed at the end of your bed, munching away, “Long enough to get changed, grab my wallet, get food and come back.”

The bacon is really good. You’ve never been so glad he knew you so well as you grab another piece from the dwindling pile.

“You slept well then, too? That’s good, I’m glad. You needed the rest.”

“Having you around always makes it easier to fall asleep,” he nudges your knee with his elbow.

Even after five years he can still make you blush.

“I know the feeling.”

You two fall into step, starting your weeks in advance prepared plans, the rest of your day passing quickly. 

Too quickly. 

And so does the next day, and the next, and the next. 

All of your activities are going great. The zoo, picnics, study dates, restaurant dates, historical, artistic and architectural museum tours. Even a swim at the school’s indoor pool, and there’s plenty more to come. 

Things slip back into being easy, just as they always have been with Nel, ever since that first day back in tenth grade. 

He knows you like the back of his hand and predicts your moves before you make them, just like you do for him. 

You know his favourite foods, and where he prefers to park when driving—always avoiding open curbs—you know his dream travel destinations, and who his favourite musicians are. You know his favourite pencils to design with and his favourite pencils to shade with, that he always put on his right sock first, then right shoe, then left sock and left shoe. You know that his drink order is an iced coffee with two cream and two sugar, that he prefers loose shirts over fitted ones, and that his favourite colour is orange.

It’s a pretty orange too, not just any orange. You wonder if it’s anything like Jungkook's–

Wait. 

You search your memory for the information, going through favourite foods, drinks, music—all discussed previously, because you know their answers. But colour?

Nothing.

How have you never asked what Jungkook’s favourite colour is?

Isn’t that usually one of the first things people ask when they’re trying to get to know one another? Funny. Guess you’ll have to inquire the next time you see him. 

Anyways, just like you know everything there is to know about Nel, he knows everything about you too, including your routines. 

Which is why at twelve noon every day, he starts getting ready to go to the greenhouse for your afternoon study session.

Including today.  

Your week’s already half over and you hate it. Time always moves far to fast when all you want it to do is slow the fuck down. 

You only have five days left. Five days.

You’re lucky the greenhouse cafe is open during break, some places on campus are required to stay open for the students who can’t make it home, but greenhouse chooses to. 

As you and Nel turn the corner you see a familiar figure sitting in his old spot at the back of the patio. The same hat, mask and hoodie, now paired with a leather jacket on top due to the weather starting to cool down.

You can tell Jungkook wasn’t expecting to see you by the way he stiffens before those all too familiar brown eyes of his meet your own. Which is fair, your schedule shifts a bit when you’re on break, he isn’t used to you being here at twelve on Wednesdays. 

But as quickly as he sees you, his gaze is back on his laptop, like he never saw you in the first place. 

Like you asked him to do. 

And a sharp pain stings inside your chest.

When you and Nel get to your table, he sits in the seat opposite to where you always do, leaving where Jungkook usually sits beside you, empty. 

A part of you is grateful for that, though you can’t figure out why and table that self discussion for a later date. 

Setting down your things, you ask Nel if he wants coffee. He answers yes, like always, and after a quick visit with Viv, you're pulling out your chair and setting down your cups. Your back faces Jungkook. It’s a small mercy you can’t see him. Maybe you can forget he’s here and actually focus on your work. 

But it’s also exactly because of your position, that you can’t see as Jungkook subtly watches you over the rim of his laptop while you and Nel talk quietly and study. 

Nel can though. 

It feels weird to ignore him. To pretend you don’t know one another when for the better part of the last seven weeks all you’ve done is talk, hang out, study or a mixture of the three, every day. 

When having him sit behind you and not beside you feels so wrong and so foreign. 

But this is your own doing, you caused this. So you need to suck it up and get used to it. 

This is exactly what you asked for all those weeks ago. The perfect solution to your problem. 

No one can know. 

Not Nel. 

Not anyone. 

But fuck, if it didn’t absolutely suck in practice. 

Setting some of your books out around you and on the table Jungkook usually uses, you dig into your business homework. Having a major and a minor are great for job prospects, on paper, and in practice after you’ve completed them.

But getting them? It takes years of hard work and dedication with no distractions. 

None.  

You spend almost every free moment you have doing homework or practicing, trying to get ahead, trying to stay on top.

…Trying to beat Adaline. 

But you just use that as fuel for your drive to be better. To be the best. 

Competition is healthy. Especially when you’re winning against the rich brat who’s used to getting what she wants. 

Not that you're petty.

Ehh…You are. But only a little bit. At least you can admit it.

Nel gets to work as well, the sunlight from his spot is great for drawing. He’s working on a rough version of his thesis project that’s due at the end of the year. He has to have multiple completed renderings as well as a scale model, and he’s been brainstorming since last year about what he wants to do.

Currently, he’s drawing up an airport, trying to design so that it’s not confusing and complicated for first time users. 

However, his occasional swearing and muttering to himself makes you think he’s having a tough time with it. 

You try not to laugh, but a small giggle slips out. 

“What,” Nel asks, a little distracted.

“Nothing.”

“No really, what’s up? I could use a laugh right now,” he insists, eyes on you at first. But then something behind you steals their attention every few seconds. 

Someone. 

“You just…you still make funny sounds when you're frustrated with a drawing. It’s endearing.” You reach to place your hand on his knee, trying to gain back his full attention. 

Ignore him, Nel. Please ignore him. 

“Yeah...” he exhales. “I guess airports are out,” his hand covers yours quickly and you hear a faint chair screech from behind you. Nel doesn’t miss it as he says. “But I do have a much bigger appreciation and understanding for all those who came before me,” pupils now unmoving from their target behind you. 

Fine. 

You’ll acknowledge it. 

“Is everything okay? You keep looking at something? Is there an animal or…” You know what he’s looking at, but go so far as to turn anyway, playing up the ‘confused girlfriend’ role. But Nel squeezes your hand, stopping you. 

He leans in, placing a fake mask of serene on and lowers his voice. “That guy keeps looking at us, moreso you. And he looks pissed off.”

Fuck, think of something.

Anything. Anythi—Oh!

You lean in too, so close your noses almost touch. “He’s probably just upset we’re talking. The greenhouse cafe is usually a quiet place to work,” good enough, you think. That’s believable, right?. “It’ll be fine. Let’s just ignore him and get back to work.”

You place a quick kiss on his lips but Nel isn’t letting up on his unnecessary vigilance. But then again, he doesn’t know that Jungkook is the opposite of a threat to you. So you reassure him, in your own way.  

“Babe, seriously. If you’re going to be all protective or whatever, don’t. I come here everyday when you're not here and I’m still alive and unharmed. Go get a sandwich or a refill to get your head off of it and say hi to Viv. She’s still here, and I’m betting she remembers you. You’re kinda hard to forget.” 

You can tell Nel’s about to reject the idea when you insist. “I’ll be fine, Nel. Promise. Three years and not a scratch on me.” 

He sighs through his nose, but relents. 

Placing his drawing pad on the table, he gets up, but not before placing another kiss to your forehead and mumbling, “Scream ‘cumquat’ if you’re in danger and I’ll come running, okay?” 

You laugh outright at that. “Will do.”

You watch him as he goes, and the second he’s inside, you’re racing for your phone, typing at an astounding speed.

You [1:45pm]: Didn’t your royal upbringing teach you not to stare so blatantly!??? Nel caught you

You hear a quiet ping from behind you followed by a small exhale that sounds more like a disguised chuckle. 

PJK [1:45pm]: Yes.  

You [1:45pm]: So you intentionally got caught?

PJK [1:45pm]: Maybe

You [1:45pm]: Shithead

PJK [1:46pm]: Rude

You [1:46pm]: You deserve it

PJK [1:46pm]: I know. I’m just making sure he’s treating you right.  PJK [1:47pm]: and trying to see if he acts differently when he knows he’s being watched. He’s very protective you know 

Jungkook saw the second Nel noticed he was watching you. 

His posture changed from easy going to on alert. His hand went so quickly to yours on his knee and his public displays of affection increased significantly. 

It was pathetic, really. It went above a normal amount of protection. Nel was claiming his ‘property’, making sure Jungkook knew not to touch. 

And the nasty look Nel gave him as he entered the cafe—gratefully still unrecognizable in his disguise—was another silent way to say back off, stay away, and don’t try anything or you’ll regret it. 

It was a red flag in Jungkook's mind. A small one, but it’s still there because his efforts are completely unneeded. After five years together, Nel should know that you can handle yourself. 

Hell, Jungkook knows that and it’s only been two months. 

You [1:47pm]: yes I know he is, and I already told you he treats me well because he always. Does. Not just in public or under watchful eyes  You [1:48pm]: and since when does my boyfriend of half a decade need your ~princely~ seal approval?

He ignores the small jab. You only ever brought up his title when you were mocking or upset with him. And he knows that in this case it's the latter.

PJK [1:48pm]: Since now PJK [1:49pm]: And it’s not that I don’t trust you at your word, but I usually like to decide for myself

That has you reeling. 

Where does he get the audacity to think he has any say in or about your relationship? Your very solidly built, five years strong, healthy, happy relationship?

Because he’s the Prince? You’re pretty sure you established on day one that you didn’t and still don’t give a fuck about his birthright. 

If he thinks he gets an opinion on any of this he’s got another thing coming the second he asks you anything about Adaline again. 

You’re in the middle of typing out a paragraph explaining all of this when another text comes in.  

PJK [1:49pm]: Because I’ve seen far too many women in love who are blind to certain things PJK [1:50pm]: And far too many hurt in the end because of it. 

You pause. Fingers frozen mid swipe.

Blind to what?

How many women did he know that were in love but missing something about their partner? Surely there couldn't be that many. Right? 

But this was Jungkook you were talking to, he’s lived numerous lifetimes already. That fancy birthright of his you don’t care about having given him far too many life experiences to have at his age. And they’re only going to increase from here.

So instead of hitting send and cursing him out quite spectacularly, you stop and think for a moment. 

What did he see that they didn’t? 

That you might… not?

You’re a decent judge of character if your record tracks. And it does. 

So your curiosity gets the better of you as you delete your rage paragraph and settle for a simple two word question instead. 

You [1:50pm]: Like what?

You can see that he’s typing out a response but the bell on the cafe door rings and you put your phone down. It buzzes with his response a few seconds after. 

You’ll check it later.

Nel takes his seat again, and you notice he has his sandwich, but also that he’s moved his chair and starts sketching from the new position giving him a direct eye line with Jungkook. 

You internally scoff at that. 

Nel has always been protective. But he was raised that way and you don’t mind too much. You don’t expect him to change his core values for you, just like he never expects you to change yours for him, even when a couple of his are just the slightest bit overbearing. 

But that’s part of a relationship. Give and take and compromise. No one person is going to be perfect for another. It’s healthy to have differences. 

That being said, Nel doesn’t change positions for the rest of the hour. Even as Jungkook packs up and leaves, Nel eyeballs him until he’s out of sight. 

That night while Nel is brushing his teeth and you're lying in bed, you check the text from Jungkook. 

PJK [1:51pm]: Like if they’re getting treated the way they should be or if they’re settling for the best they think they can get or for the first guy that showed interest. The one who hasn’t grown up even though time has passed. The one who’s holding her back by not setting her free

You stare at your phone. At the text. At his words. 

And dismiss it. 

You aren’t one of those women. 

You know yourself. 

You know what you deserve and how you should be treated. You didn’t settle, you just happened to find your love at a young age. That’s something special and rare and should be protected. And Nel has most certainly grown up as time passed. 

Jungkook is being ridiculous for absolutely no reason. Surely he’ll have seen that today. Seen how Nel loves you, treats you how you deserve to be treated, holds you up. Supports you. 

You’re confident he’ll be eating his words soon enough.

Finished brushing, Nel comes back to the bedroom and snuggles up behind you and you put down your phone. 

He cuddles you for a minute before placing a kiss at your neck. Then another. And another before he’s mouthing up your neck, and sliding a hand up your thigh and to your waist. It pauses on your stomach with teasing caresses, before dipping lower and lower, beneath the fabric of your sleep shorts, and under the elastic of your underwear. 

A small moan sounds in your throat at the touch. His fingers meeting your folds and the sensitive bundle of nerves at their apex.

You wanted this. 

Need it. 

He’s grown, you think; as a finger slips in you and you gasp at the stretch, legs opening wider for him. A second finger plunges in and you can feel yourself getting wetter and wetter with every thrust. Just like you can feel a bulge forming behind you. 

You know what you deserve; as he uses them to scissor you open, making sure you’re ready. You roll over, now on your back with Nel over you as he pulls your shorts and underwear down to get better access, your own hands removing your shirt.

You’re not settling; as Nel moves down, tongue making a couple swipes at your entrance and you hiss in pleasure before he’s reaching over, grabbing a condom from the nightstand drawer and sliding it on, length hard and dripping at the sight of you bared before him. 

Nel wasn’t the first guy who’d shown interest, just the first you’d said yes to; and he slides in. Both of you moaning at the snug fit.

“Fuck...” he says and you nod, agreeing, before pulling him down into a deep kiss.

He eases into a slow, steady rhythm that has you breathy and his abs tensing. 

But it’s not enough. You need more. You need to erase these past two months without him, and take enough to last for the next two. It’s never enough, but you try. 

“Faster baby,” you beg, “Please…faster.”

Nel isn’t holding you back. Jungkook doesn’t know what the fuck he’s talking about. 

Nel picks up the pace and you start moaning, louder like you know he likes. Likes to hear he’s doing a good job. He’s grabbing your breast and sucking in a nipple, tongue swirling and you're bringing your hips to meet his with every thrust. 

It feels good. It always feels good with Nel. 

He was your first everything. First kiss, first intimate touch, first love. 

Only love.

And he makes you feel good with that love. That touch. His kiss.

He makes you feel safe, inside and out. 

Jungkook can go eat grass. He doesn’t know your relationship. Doesn’t know the first thing about it. 

“There, right there!” you whine as Nel hits your sweet spot once and you arch. He tries again but misses, continuing faster, his peak coming quickly. 

Jungkook can never understand what you two have. What you two have built in these five years. The understanding and security that comes with it. 

He’s being an unrightfully opinionated ass on something he knows nothing about and— 

Fuck! Why are you thinking about Jungkook? You’re having sex with Nel. You shouldn’t be thinking about anything or anyone other than that. 

Than him. 

So why can’t you get what Jungkook said out of your fucking head?

“Ahhh… oh fuck. I’m cumming.” Nel’s hips stutter, his face contorting in pleasure as he releases, filling the condom.

You kiss him passionately to rid yourself of your princely plagued thoughts, the ones filling you with unwanted and unnecessary doubt. You want them gone, gone, gone. Nothing but Nel in their place. 

And you slip an, “I love you,” in between kisses for good measure. 

Jungkook could never understand. 

Nel kisses you back just as hard, dramatically slowing his thrusts, drawing out his high for as long as possible. 

“I love you too.”

Jungkook doesn’t know anything. 

Nel groans into your lips when it becomes too much and pulls out. 

Removing and tying off the condom, Nel goes to the washroom to throw it out and starts the shower he knows you’ll be joining him for when you're done. 

A routine you’re all too familiar with. 

One you created. 

He knows you need a few minutes to get yourself off. 

You’ve never been able to cum from sex with a partner. No matter how hard you tried. No matter what you did. 

Most would think Nel wasn’t a good lover or wasn’t trying enough, but it was through years of constantly trying anything and everything that you learned you just…couldn’t. 

No amount of fingering or oral or penetration from your partner could make you orgasm. 

So Nel knows to wait for you in the shower as you finish yourself off, your own fingers making quick work of it, because you always could for some reason. 

It isn’t your ideal situation, and it isn’t anyone’s fault. But it works. You both get the intimacy you crave and you accepted a long time ago that you were just one of the unlucky few. 

Screams fill Jungkook’s ears as a hand finds his hair and nails rake against his scalp. 

Adaline isn’t a quiet receiver. 

“Ohmygod!” She shouts for the twentieth time. “Yes! There…so goo-oohhhh,” the last syllable turning into a loud moan. 

He’s holding her downwith a forearm by her pelvis, mouth full as he brings out her third orgasm of the night, juices flooding his tongue. 

He’s working out earlier frustrations and proving a point to himself in this fucked up version of self therapy. 

He shouldn’t be. 

But he does.

Has to.

Seeing you today with Cornelius spurred feelings within him that he didn’t know he had. Sure, there were bits and pieces of something stirring he refused to name, but today? 

They were in a whole different ballpark. Different than anything else he’s ever felt before, brewing inside him, bubbling up to the surface even though he’s been trying his best to pop them and shove them down.

Anger? 

Feelings he doesn’t want to have. 

Jealousy? 

Does have. 

Wanting you to look at him the way you look at Nel?

Can’t have. 

Not for… 

He admits he provoked Nel because he could. Dick move, but it was because Jungkook knew just by looking at him that giving you any form of attention would piss him off.  He seemed the type. 

Overly possessive, overprotective. 

Overbearingly so. 

Suffocatingly so. 

Because Nel knows how lucky he is. That you chose him. That you still choose him. 

He knows he has to keep others away. 

Knows he isn’t good enough for you, holds you back. But keeps you anyway.

The selfish prick. 

So Jungkook eyed you up and down, leisurely, and for as long as he wanted. Purely out of the need to prove to himself he was right about his little assessment of your boyfriend. At least that’s what he told himself. 

Was it childish and unnecessary? 

Yes. 

But he was right. And that felt good. 

He could see in your posture and your hushed words you didn’t want Nel’s protection, didn’t need it, and that Nel ignored that wish of yours. Did what he wanted to instead of respecting your ability to make decisions for yourself. Bulldozed your opinions. 

It pissed Jungkook off. 

He’d left a little while after sending you that text to read, but you never did. At least not since the last time he checked. And so he’d made plans with Adaline the second he was out of your earshot. Calling her up and setting a time for what’s currently taking up his primary focus. 

Because even though it was Adaline underneath him, for the very first time, that’s not who he imagined it was. 

Not who he just dragged a fourth orgasm out of with his fingers because he could. 

Because he would. He would be so much better. Give so much more. If only… 

Fuck.

Jungkook stands and drags his cock over Adaline’s entrance, whacking it against her clit a couple times before running the tip through her folds and pushing in. He hisses at the feeling. At who he was sinking into in his head, splayed out in front of him. Skin glistening with sweat mixed with arousal. Mouth open, slack jawed in pleasure. 

Adaline moans loudly and it dissolves his visual. 

His tattooed hand moves to hold her hands above her head, the other silences her mouth. 

“Quiet now,” he whispers, low and deep. A bead of sweat dripping off his brow, hair sticking to his neck and temple.

He intends it to be sexy for her, but in reality, he’s just sick of hearing her. It’s ruining his mental image. Not that she’ll ever know that though. 

To Adaline, this session is all about her and making her feel good. 

But constant screams and loud, pornographic moans aren’t appealing to him in the slightest. They're taking him out of the mood. Making him soft. 

Once or twice when it’s genuine? Sure. But the constant assault she loves to give his eardrums? Not even a little bit.

He sets a fast, rough pace, and Adaline’s eyes roll back in pleasure, screams finally subsiding in white hot bliss, replaced by bitten lips and smothered whimpers.

He is going to prove this point to himself over and over again. All night if he has to. 

And he has to.  

To get whatever it is he’s feeling for you out of his system.

To keep his sanity. 

To forget. 

And while it’s Adaline’s name is on his lips when he cums. 

It’s not the name he repeats in his head like a prayer. 

Chapter Seven: Hard Goodbyes and Favourite Colours

A/N 2: Thanks for waiting for this chapter. I'll try my best to have 7 out as soon as I can get it. I promise.

A/N 3: As always, Thank you for reading, loves. Xoxo - Yoon <3

<- Back

[inlovewithquestionablecharacters]

Cho Sang Woo X F!Reader: A blast from the past

a/n: this was originally supposed to be a Gi hun x Sang-woo X reader but it became something else.

Warnings: smut, kissing, Sang woo being an ass, fluff, jealousy, fingering, penetration (p in v), mentions of attempted suicide, domish Sang woo, fighting, no use of y/n, not proofread, female reader

Word count: 3656 (holy moly)

Fate is a funny thing. Here you were, trapped inside a game of death with none other than your childhood best friends. You hadn’t seen them in ages but the moment you laid eyes on the two men you recognized them instantly. You raced over to them, a smile on your face as you watched the men's eyes widen in recognition.

“Oh my god! Sang-woo, look who it is!”

Gi hun wasted no time, immediately pulling you into a warm embrace. He smelled different then you remembered. The sugary scent that he had when he was a child was completely gone, replaced with a metallic scent that reminded you of coins. Gi hun pulled out of the embrace, his arms holding onto your shoulders as he turned to glance at Sang-woo with an easy smile. The other man gazed at you with an impassive expression. He had always had a sober look, even as a child. You smiled at him but he didn't return the gesture, opting instead to push his glasses up.

“What are you doing here?”

The emotionless tone in which he asked the question made a twinge of anger shoot through you. He sounded like he was judging you. 

“I could ask you the same thing, Mister SNU Business School graduate.”

Gi hun looked between the two of you, noticing the obvious tension. In a desperate attempt to stop this conversation before it became an argument, something that often happened when you and Sang-woo had any sort of interaction, Gi hun placed his hands on either one of your shoulders. You looked at him, your belly warming at the sight of his goofy smile. 

“Looks like we’re going to be playing some games. Should be fun right?”

You glanced at the doll at the edge of the room.

“I was always quite good at red light, green light.”

Sang-woo shrugged Gi hun's hand from his shoulder before silently moving away from the two of you. You scoffed at the action.

“What’s up his ass?”

“I think he’s embarrassed that you saw him like this.”

“But I'm in here too. And so are you.”

“Yeah well, I never had a promising future laid out for me.”

Your brows furrowed at his words but Gi hun just shrugged, as if he knew the affirmation was true.

“Plus, he always wanted to impress you. Even as kids.”

Before you could question Gi huns words a voice rang out through the room, telling you the games were about to begin. 

Your hands shook as you walked back into the dormitory. Blood stained your face and clothes. You looked like a zombie, stumbling around in silence until you reached your bed. You knew the boys had made it too, you’d gotten a quick glance at them as you walked back to the dormitory but you were far too out of it to do anything about it. Luckily you didn’t have to search for them. They found you instead.

You raised your head as a sudden darkness filled your field of vision. Sang-woo stood before you, his face covered in sweat. Somehow he’d managed to keep his glasses on during the game. He didn’t say anything, his eyes moving over the blood on your body. A shrill call of your name rang out from behind you, causing you to look over his shoulder. Gi hun raced towards you, pushing past Sang-woo so he could get to you. He kneeled before you, his hands moving to hold onto your face. 

“Are you okay?”

His eyes seemed to notice the blood for the first time, eyebrows raising with horror.

“Are you hurt? Did you-”

“It’s not hers.”

Sang-woos voice made the two of you look up at him.

“What?”

“The blood Gi hun. It’s not hers.”

Your lip started shaking. Before you could stop them the tears began flowing from your eyes. A small sob made its way from your lips, causing Gi hun’s head to snap back to you. He watched you with wide eyes for a moment before his hands moved to tug you into him. He pulled you to the floor, holding you in a fierce hug. 

“It’s okay. We’re okay.”

Sang-woo watched the exchange with a heavy heart. He watched the way your hands clawed at Gi huns jacket, desperately trying to cling onto something. He wanted to move but he didn't feel like he should. You were probably angry at him, he’d been a dick to you after all. He thought of moving away, leaving you and Gi hun to your tender embrace. But before he could turn around your voice ripped through the silence. You called out his name in a rough whisper, voice a barely contained sob. You hand moved from Gi hun’s jacket, extending it to him in invitation. Gi hun unclinged himself from your body, allowing him to look at Sang-woo. Sang-woo looked from your tear stained face to Gi hun's wide eyed expression and before he could stop himself he was sinking to the floor before you, allowing you to pull him into a tight hug. 

You were sitting on your bed, one of the boys on either side of you. Gi hun held one of your hands in his lap. Sangwoo’s gaze drifted to your hands ever so often, a small twinge of jealousy making its way into his mind. He didn’t know why he’d suddenly started caring about your caresses with Gi hun. Even as children you’d always been closer to the other boy, a consequence of Sangwoos cold nature. But now he wished you’d cling onto him the way you clung to Gi hun. The thought was ripped out of his head when the alarm sounded. 

During the whole voting process your hand remained glued to Gi huns. You watched player after player vote until finally it was Sangwoos' turn. You gave him a small smile as he walked over to the buttons. Your face dropped as you watched him press “O”. You could feel Gi hun's disappointment beside you but he pushed it down to whisper in your ear.

“It’s okay. We still have a chance.”

You nodded, eyes never moving away from the back of Sang-woos head. 

Your body crashed onto the harsh ground with a thud. You groaned as you tried to lift your body up. You couldn't see a thing and your body was bound at an awkward angle. You felt a pair of hands move against your face. You twisted away, a small shriek leaving your lips.

“Stop wiggling around.I’m trying to help.”

You recognized his voice instantly. A small part of you wanted to keep wiggling just to make his life harder, but the cold air on your body was becoming very uncomfortable so you stayed still. The moment both of you were free Sang-woo made his way over to his bag, pulling out his clothes. You stared at him in disbelief. He seemed to notice your eyes on him because he turned around.

“You should get dressed. You’ll get sick.”

You let out a scoff.

“Like you give a shit.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You voted to stay!”

You’d made your way over to him, hands moving to tug the bag out of his hand before throwing it at the floor. Sang-woo gave you a tired look.

“I’m really not in the mood-”

“Oh! I’m sorry! You’re not in the mood to listen to what a shit person you are?”

Sang-woo bit into his lips in anger, his head moving to look at the road.

“Don't look away from me!”

You hit his chest with all your might, something you would do when he’d pissed you off.

“What the hell were you thinking huh? People were killed! We were all going to die and you wanted to keep playing? For what? Some extra cash?”

“Extra cash?” 

He was angry now. You could tell from the look on his face, the way his lips became a small line as he spoke.

“That money would get rid of my debt!”

“It’s blood money Sang-woo!”

“Don’t pretend you didn’t think about it. I saw your face when they started to fill the piggy bank. You wanted it.”

You shake your head at him.

“You don't know anything about me. You never bothered to.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You know what it means!”

Your face was so close to his that he could feel your breath on his skin. You were looking up at him with a scowl, your brows furrowed so intensely that the line on your forehead became very predominant. You’d only ever looked at him with such anger once before. He didn’t want to remember that day. His eyes shifted over to your body, gaze catching on the bare skin.He couldn’t help it, he’d always found you rather beautiful. He wanted to keep arguing but he was cold and tired. He knew you would keep this up all night if you had to. You were stubborn like that. So he did the only thing he knew would shut you up. He kissed you.

He tasted like cigarettes, his hands were cold as they grabbed onto your waist, pulling flush against his body. Your brain stopped working for a moment, the feeling of his lips was intoxicating but then you seemed to remember that you were mad at him. You shoved him off of you. Your face was flushed, chest rising and falling as you stared at him.

“You’re such a dick Sang-woo.”

With that you’d turned on your heels making your way to the bag that held your clothes. Sang-woo watched you rip it open, removing your clothes from inside before beginning to get dressed. He waited for a moment before beginning to get dressed too. 

Your shoulders shook as you walked down the road. You’d been giving Sang-woo the silent treatment ever since you’d both decided you would walk to the nearest convenience store so you could charge your phones. You kept up with Sang-woos pace but it was obvious you were having a hard time with the cold, not that you would ever admit it to him. Sang-woo stopped abruptly. You turned around to look at him.

“What are you doing? We're almost there.”

You watched him take off his suit jacket. He put his hand out to you, offering you the garment. You glanced at the jacket and then up at him. What was his deal? First he treats you like shit, then he kisses you and now he’s giving you his jacket.

“Take it. I know you’re cold.”

You're about to say you’re fine but a strong gust of wind blows causing you to shiver.

“Oh for fucks sake.”

Sang-woo makes his way to you, placing his jacket over your shoulders. You stare up at him as he drapes the jacket over your body. His glasses are slightly falling down his nose so you raise a finger to his face and push them up. He looks at you for a moment, surprised by the action. 

“Thanks.”

“You’re still an asshole.”

With that you start walking again, leaving Sang-woo behind with a shocked expression. 

It had been a day since you’d left the games. No matter how hard you tried you couldn’t seem to stop thinking about that place. Or about Sang-woo. You hated to admit it but even since you’d seen him you’d been plagued by memories of your childhood. You had a crush on Sang-Woo when you were younger. It was hard not to be attracted to him. But as you two grew older he seemed to become more and more distant. One night you had a big fight. It was right before you’d gone off to college and neither one of you had spoken since then. That is until the games brought you back together. 

You stood in front of his door, a bag of takeout in your hand as the other moved to ring the doorbell. When there was no sign of an answer you rang again. You waited for him to come to the door but it seemed he wasn't home. With a disappointed sigh you began moving away. Your head snapped back to the door when you heard the lock click. 

Sang woo stared at you, his eyes moving to the bag in your hand before moving to glance at your face.

“What are you doing here?”

“I thought maybe you’d like some company…”

You looked at him, noticing the water that dripped from his pants.

“Did you fall into the bathtub?”

Sang-woo moved out of the way, not bothering to answer your question. You entered his apartment, being careful as to not slip on the watery floor. Sang woo trailed behind you in silence. He watched you remove the food from your bag, placing it on the table before turning to look at him. 

“You should probably change. You’re all wet.”

He looked down at his feet, watching the water drip from his pants. You watched him, worry filling your chest. You made your way to him. Sang-woo lifted his gaze from the floor as you approached him. The pitiful look you gave him made him feel pathetic. 

“Do you want me to help?”

He nodded slowly. 

“Okay.”

You moved your hand to his chest, slowly beginning to unbutton his shirt. Once you've managed to get all the buttons you reached beneath the cloth, pushing his shirt and jacket off in one go. The wet fabric landed with a dull thud on the ground. Your hand moved to his waistband, eyes gazing up at him through your lashes. The tension filled the air, making it hard to breathe. You moved slowly, afraid that any harsh move would make Sang-woo react negatively. You began to work on his belt but his hand stopped you. You looked up at him, searching for discomfort in his face. 

“Everything okay?”

He nodded, his hand moving to rest on your waist. You gasped as his cold hand made its way beneath the fabric, fingers skimming over the bare skin. He tugged your shirt up a bit, stopping only to look at you for confirmation that this was okay. You nodded at him, not trusting your voice. You lifted your arms, allowing him to tug your shirt off. He looked at you for a while, just talking in the sight of your flushed expression. One of his hands moved to trace your collarbone and you let out a breathy sigh. 

“Sang-woo.”

“Hum?”

“Please don’t tease.”

“I’m not.”

“Yes you are.”

He was. But not on purpose. He was trying to remember every inch of your face. He needed to go back in time, even if just for one night. He wanted to feel like a teenager again. Young and unburdened. His hand moved to hold onto your face, fingers tracing your lips before he leaned down to kiss you. The kiss was gentler than the one he’d given you the night before. Your hands wrapped around his neck, tugging him closer. Your pants began to drench up the water from his as the two of you kissed. You pulled away to breathe and Sang-woo took it as a chance to kiss your neck. You gasped as his tongue moved over your skin. Your hands fumbled against his belt, tugging it off in desperation before moving to pull his pants down. His own hands found their way to your bottoms, pulling them off as well.

The two of you broke apart for a moment, panting as you took in the sight of each other. Your eyes traced over Sang woo's body, you’d seen it hours prior but the circumstances had been very different. You couldn’t help but rub your thighs together as your eyes caught onto his hard on. Sang-Woo's throat was suddenly dry. He’d been planning to kill himself moments ago, if you hadn't knocked he’d probably gone through with it. He pushed the thoughts down, trying to focus on the task at hand. There was a beautiful semi naked woman before him. He wasn’t going to waste the opportunity. 

With one long stride Sang woo made his way to you, kissing you with a newly found hunger. He pushed you against the wall, his lips swallowing your gasps. His hard on rubbed against your clothed cunt and you couldn’t help but moan. His hand moved down your body, fingers rubbing over your underwear for a moment before pushing it to the side. You gasped as his digits entered you, nails digging into the muscles of his back. The sound your pussy made as he fingered you was down right shameful but you couldn’t get yourself to care. Not when your body buzzed with your upcoming orgasm. Your mouth went slack as Sang woo shifted his hand, allowing him to enter his fingers even deeper. 

“I missed you.”

“You’re the one that didn’t keep contact.”

Sangwoo grumbled at your words, fingers curling into you.

“I- ah- had to find out how you-shit- were through your mother.”

He was moving at a rapid speed, his motions making the air leave your chest. 

“Gi hun was all over you.”

“What?”

The words caught you off guard. Here you were,in his apartment, with his fingers inside you. And he was talking about Gi hun.

“In the games. He was all over you.” 

“He was excited to see me. Unlike some people.”

Sang-woo stilled his movements at your words, making you whine.

“Why’d you stop?”

“You’re mine.”

“What are-”

“Say it.”

You looked up at Sang-woo with wide eyes. The pathetic puppy dong you’d found when you walked in was completely gone. Sang-woo was back and he knew exactly what he could do to you. Your walls clenched around his fingers as he waited for you to say what he wanted. 

“I’m yours.”

Sang-woo's neck twitched at your breathy voice. He crashed his lips onto yours, fingers moving inside you once again. Your moans became more and more high pitched. You were so close, your eyes began to roll back into your head, mouth becoming slack. Just as you were about to tell Sang-woo you were going to cum he removed himself from you completely. You wanted to yell at him. He'd brought you to the brink only to rip it away at the last second.

You moved forward, fully prepared to hit him but you stilled when your gaze fell to his boxers. He was incredibly hard. There was a small stain on the fabric you assumed was pre cum. You watched him place his fingers on the edge of his boxers, thighs rubbing together in anticipation.  In one smooth movement he tugged his boxers down, his dick slapping proudly against his stomach as he removed it from its continents. Sang-woo hissed at the feeling of the cold air on his dick. You stared at him without a twinge of shame. 

“Take your bra off.”

You didn’t even question it, immediately moving to unclasp the garment. Sang-woo made his way back to you, his hand moving to caress your breasts. You whined as he kissed your neck.

“Sang-woo please…”

“What is it, hum?”

“I need you inside me. Please fuck me.”

You could feel him smirk against your skin. This cocky bastard. You grabbed at his dick causing him to let out a moan. His head snapped up to look at you.

“I’m starting to lose my patience, Sang-woo.”

The look he gave you was comical. He was always in control but he’d forgotten just who he was dealing with.

“Either you fuck me right now or i’m leaving you to deal with this alone.”

“Oh yeah? And what about you huh? Gonna deal with this yourself.”

He grabbed at your cunt and you keened. 

“Don’t worry about me. I’m sure Gi hun would love to help.”

A growl left Sang woo's lips. In a blink of an eye he’d dragged your underwear down, his hands pushing you against the wall as he inserted himself in you. He didn’t give you a moment to breathe, his dick beginning to bully into you. All you could do was whine as his dick rammed into your pussy. You grabbed onto him, legs moving to wrap around his waist.

“Think Gi hun could fuck you like this? Think he could even compare to me? Answer me!”

“No! Sang-woo only you can fuck me like this. Please!”

“Good girl. You gonna cum? Gonna cream all over my cock?”

You were a babbling mess, your head nodding eagerly as your orgasm approached. You half expected Sang-woo to pull away again. It’s not that he didn't think of punishing you, the idea did cross his mind but the feeling of you wrapped around him was far too irresistible. And then if it couldn’t get any better you came. A shrill screech of his name made its way out of your lips as your juices counted his dick. Your body sagged into his, head resting on the crock of his neck. His hands moved to grab at your ass, allowing his thrusts to quicken. You whined into his neck, a slight feeling of overstimulation beginning to come over you. Sang-woo gave one last harsh thrust before his body stopped moving. You felt his side spill into you, coating your walls with ease. 

You removed your legs from his waist slowly. Sang-woo continued to pant, trying to recover from his orgasm. You pushed some hair off his face. He looked at you, his eyes full of an unexpected tenderness.

“Don’t leave me again.”

“I’m not going anywhere, Sang Woo. I’m right here.”

As if to prove your point you placed a loving kiss to his lips, forehead resting against his as silence filled the room.

[holylulusworld]

Bad Santa (4) - The special room

Summary: You’re an evildoer. This year, Santa is going to punish you. His evil twin brother has other plans.

Pairing: Santa!Ari Levinson x Naughty Lister!Reader x JackFrost!Steve Rogers

Warnings: naughty lister reader, painful memories, mentions of bruises, angst, mentions of neglect

A/N: For my story, Jack Frost is Santa’s twin brother.

Bad Santa Masterlist

Catch up here: Bad Santa (3) – Punishment

“Slow down!” You try to get away from Ari, the strict Santa, and back to Steve, who already misses you. While you wiggle in his iron grip, unable to free the wrist he holds in a tight grip, he stomps toward the room he was talking about. “Hey, shouldn’t you be gentler and a little nicer? You’re Santa Claus, aren’t you?”

“Naughty listers do not deserve kindness,” Ari bites back. He’s still angry at himself and his brother for the moment of weakness you caused. “How dare you seduce me, succubus!”

“If I remember right, it was your brother seducing me with his ice play and glorious cock. You joined him without hesitation. You are the bad guys in this,” you chuckle darkly. “Anyone hearing the story of how you kidnapped an innocent woman only to use her like a whore would arrest you.”

“Silence,” Ari stops in his tracks, dropping your wrist. You rub the sore skin, wincing as you can feel bruises form. “You won’t speak until you are allowed to speak!”

He glares at you, but his features soften when you rub your wrist to ease the pain. Ari sighs and closes his eyes to calm down. He failed to help you become a better person and made it his mission to turn you into an angel.

“Give me your wrist,” he holds out his hand, but you won’t trust him.

“I’m good, really,” you press your hand to your chest. Still butt-naked, you feel a little underdressed next to Ari in his costume – or are these casual clothes to him. You don’t know.

“Y/N, give me your hand.” You stare into his eyes, feeling lightheaded as he calls your name, almost chanting it like a prayer. You willingly place your hand in his large palm, feeling the warmth spread through your whole being. “There you go. A little gift from Santa because you made him feel good.”

“Am I forgiven?” You carefully try. If you can get into his good graces, he’ll bring you back to reality, back to your old life. It wasn’t perfect, but it was yours. “Can I go home now? I promise not to bang my boss. I bet he can’t keep up with you or your brother.”

He huffs but says nothing. “Your wrist should be fine now. If you stop moping and being a bad girl, I’ll get you some food and grant you rest for five hours. Tomorrow morning, you’ll start working with the elves.”

“Working?” You echo while looking at your wrist. Ari is right. The pain is gone. How he did it, you have no clue. Maybe it’s some kind of trick. “I already have a job in the real world. Listen,” you sigh deeply. “I get that to you; my lifestyle must look bad. But I’m not hurting anyone. All my life, I had to take care of myself.”

“Go inside, and don’t come out. There should be something to wear for you, too,” Ari is not impressed. “Have a rest. You’ll need it.”

Ari unlocks the room, pushing the door open to let you in. He waits for you to enter the room before slamming the door shut behind you, locking it.

Trapped once again, you sigh. At least the room is warm and comfortable. Something is off with this place, but you can’t quite put a finger on it. The air feels wrong, just like the warmth surrounding your bare body.

“What’s this?” You look around the room, watching it change from a warm and cozy room looking like a hotel room to a colder place. It looks a little familiar, too, if you squint. “What is this?”

You shudder, feeling coldness surround you. Where a warm and cozy bed was standing not seconds ago, stands now an old bed with a lumpy mattress and dirty sheets. An old teddy bear, dirty and wetted with tears, lies on the mattress. Lost like its owner.

“No—” you choke out a sob, stepping away from the bed. “Why are you doing this? This is all your fault! I only ever wanted for Daddy to come back, but you brought me nothing but this fucking teddy bear!”

You ram your fists into the door, hammering against the wood, screaming at the top of your lungs.

“I begged you to bring him back, to make mommy love me again, and for her not to run off with strangers during Christmas! But you only brought me cookies, candy, and another toy I traded for food! If anyone is the bad guy in this story, it’s you. You suck!”

The room changes immediately. It turns back into the cozy bedroom, but the teddy bear remains on the bed. It looks brand-new, unused, and fluffy.

On the other side of the room, Steve fights with his brother. He throws icicles at his brother, ready to freeze Ari’s ass off.

“She’s not ready to face her past. This,” he points at the room, growling his brother’s name, “is cruel. You fucked this, her up. All she is today – Naughty Lister, whore, candy thief, is your damn fault.”

“Do you think I don’t know that? Back then, I was at my lowest, doubting my purpose. I lost my faith and did only the bare minimum. She needed a friend, someone helping her, but I gave her a teddy bear…”

Tags in reblog.

[neuship-zone]

[Can I respond to this?]

RPF is its own grey area so I'm going to talk about it later, but I need to know about how 'fictional CSA' is causing the same issues. Especially since 'fictional CSA' would cover more than just the lolisho stuff I'd like to assume you're talking about.

I hate to say this, but it WOULD be censorship to take someone's work down. It doesn't matter why. Personally, I don't see why writing about fictional characters in harmful situations is more harmful than any other fiction (That includes murder btw, since some of you become radio silent when other taboos like violence get brought up). Yes, it can be uncomfortable to read and I'm not personally a fan but....that's what the tagging system is for? You don't even have to SEE it if you don't want to, because you can filter it. And if your main complaint is that children can find it, then what, should we get rid of all smut too? After all, children shouldn't be reading that either. Or do you only care about what children read if it's stuff you personally don't like?

Now, I don't think banning this content will lead to all queer content being banned, but I must say, some of this content IS queer. Some of these stories are queer people writing about their own experiences. And those stories need to exist because not every queer relationship is sunshine and rainbows. Some queer people are CSA survivors. Should they not be allowed to talk about their trauma, because you don't want the shotacon (who may or may not also be a CSA survivor) to post their shota rape fic?

And if your response is then "just ban the fetishy stuff", where do you draw the line? Because I could write about a hypersexual CSA rape victim and someone could accuse me of "fetishising" rape and CSA because the child is """"enjoying it"""" (nevermind the fact that it's written from the perspective of an unreliable narrator, apparently I need to yell "THIS IS BAD" at the top of my lungs in order for the story to be acceptable. I mean, I would put a disclaimer because I'm nice, but I shouldn't need to tell people what's morally wrong about a child being groomed and abused.)

As for RPF....I mean if it's like Donald Trump x Joe Biden, hell yeah! Also if the CC has given explicit consent. And also crackfics in general.

But obviously things get more complicated when REAL children are now being written about, or if it's an actual ship between two real people. This is not something that even the proship community is unified on. But personally I think writing CSA about real people is abhorrent. There's no "it's a fictional character" because it's not really a fictional character if it represents a single person. A03 doesn't have to take work down, but they could at least...idk...disable people's accounts? I don't think stuff like that should be written without consequences honestly.

And no, I'm not a proshipper. I'm neutralship. I lurk in both proship and antiship spaces in order to find new perspectives and come to a more nuanced opinion. You would think people would guess from my blog name but apparently not I'm not a fan of how (some) proshippers act morally superior over liking problematic stuff, but I will always be anti-censorship and anti-harassment before anything else. We should be promoting media literacy and critical analysis of what we read, not trying to take it all down (or glossing over any issues because "it's fiction")

hey just wanted to say.

if you worship A03, unfollow me.

its a website.

it is a website that has been in beta for 14 years.

its a website that willingly hosts RPF and CSA and allows racism to go unchecked.

it is a website that has donation drives 4(?) times a year and regularly exceeds their goal by hundreds of fucking dollars, but can't even protect their unpaid volunteers from being spammed with CSA

do not fucking defend A03's refusal to moderate their content.

Removing RPF and CSA and racism is not a slippery slope to removing queer content, unless you think the only queer content to exist is inherently CSA or racist??

then again considering how many mlm ships i've seen in fandoms pair up the child protagonist with the 40-60 year old villain "in the name of gay shipping", I'm honestly not surprised so many of these people are up in arms about CSA being removed.

If your queer content is indistinguishable from CSA and RPF maybe you should think about why you're sexualizing children and violating real human being's by using their names and images for your own personal pleasure?

[ender-cloud]

The Mind Scape is so fascinating to me:0

Tgs Spoilers Under cut

Hydes Anxiety is very valid, one of the most common fears, or cause of fears, is the fear of the unknown. This fear of the unknown is seen with fears of the future, sometimes the fear of the dark, and death.

He dosen’t know how far down Jekyll is, he dosent know what happened to him, and he dosent know how far gone Jekyll is Mentally.

Hyde should think about his actions, while he knows that he might save Jekyll this way, he dosent know what will happen to him or if he will even be able to succeed.

Hyde knows that he needs to at least try, but he shouldn’t just discount his worries, they are what makes him human and is something apart of him.

If Hyde goes down theres not a guarantee that he will be fine or that he will find Jekyll, but he will try, and its up to him on what to do after that

The white out faces are back chattttt!!

Mind Lanyon is a representation of self doubt, it always has been what Jekyll wanted to be but couldn’t, it’s always been a representation of his self doubt and self hatred.

Now mind Lanyon is a representative of Hydes self doubt as well, once again showing Hyde and Jekylls connection. They both want to prove themselves and sometimes Hearing the doubt of the one they love really breaks them.

“You’re nothing but a mistake” something that Jekyll had told Lanyon, that Hyde was a mistake, that Hyde should never have existed and how he hates that part of him, mind Lanyon us showing that too.

Hyde seems less affected by it but it definitely still stung.

Frakenstine is the other side of Jekylls self doubt; his ability as a scientist. While mind Lanyon represents who he wants to be as a person, Frankenstine represents who he wants to be as a scientist, a type of role model who does affect him more than he wants to let on.

What Frankenstine says hints that they her and Lanyon dont know which side of Jekyll their talking to, perhaps these sayings are pushing Jekyll further and Further down the mind scape, further into the unknown (Frozen ref 👀/j)

I didn’t bring it up earlier but mind Lanyon also says “you’ll never be fit for polite society” They arent talking to Hyde, they are talking to Jekyll because their a representation of Jekylls self doubt and fears

They are pushing him down into the mindscape more than anything, because they are the representation of his thoughts.

[divatakesontruth]

Food for thought

So I’ve been doing a lot of…pondering (?) should I say, well something like that

Ultimately it is not news that everything is nothing however I do sometimes like to explore some certain “concepts”

This post is extremely garnered towards mature listeners , it contains a lot of words that might just send some of you into a spiral (just a disclaimer)

So, we all know absolutely everything we are aware of/seemingly experience/have a knowing of is basically in truth ‘0’ because every idea is fresh in awareness

‘I am sad’ fresh idea

‘Wait why am I sad’ completely unrelated fresh idea

‘Oh right I’m sad because…’ completely unrelated fresh idea

Which somehow gives the impression of continuity which therein in itself is another completely unrelated fresh idea all entering the field of awareness (lol that’s another false statement, it’s all nothing that we seemingly attach definitions to like the act of entering awareness or attaching definitions)

As I’m writing this I’m seeing why the mind need not bother understanding ( firstly cause the only truth is the awareness of this seeming concept I’m trying to explain)

No matter what,you land at ‘0’

However a fresh new idea , the instant it comes into awareness, it holds the same level of significance (which is nothing ) as any other fresh new idea

That’s usually why they say nothing is real both the seen and the unseen

Now still on that, there are certain ideas we see through and some we take to be real and truth , (that is the reason for most questions, there is an attachment to a certain idea ) and some we don’t for whatever reasons

So inadvertently what you are aware of in that moment is.

‘Why do I listen to the mind so much’ unrelated truth that there is awareness of but it is still what you “experience” well cause that’s what there’s an awareness of (because remember without awareness nothing can be)

‘Oh wait if I do this I’ll get this” in that moment what are you aware of? Not having something and getting it in a later time, also of being a ‘me’ in lack and want (which ‘later’ doesn’t exist btw, there’s only now because future is another baseless concept)

‘I have this’ again , awareness shines its light and gives concepts or ideas a seeming existence, so the awareness of whatever is.

remember past is unrelated to now, everything is fresh and new

So if you say “so why don’t I see xyz” what is there an awareness of? Not seeing xyz and since everything there is an awareness of is, then not seeing xyz is what is.

Let’s get a bit broader

Having a desire is another random idea that only exists because there is an Awareness of it

Having a need,being a person or whatever, all applies.

You literally can’t be anything other than That because when you think you are a measly human suffering guess what? That’s exactly what is and what is that? A concept that you’re aware of.

Same way you think you’re the one doing the thinking, well that’s exactly what is

Everything is just new random idea entering awareness including this statement

It’s a never ending cycle of stories , awareness of story rendering story as false on and on and on

But then what is there to do? Now you are free from the play , now you are on a cloud floating , now there are no rules or bondage except the untrue idea of one

There is nothing to achieve, nothing to be or do

Have fun if you want, or meditate for life

You’re (Self) calling the shots

Ps: just a random note , feel free to share your two cents !!

[amuseintime]

A Stage of Healing

The Play is Over but the Script Remains/Scriptfrin Saga

For anyone who doesn't know, "Scriptfrin" is a Siffrin who sometimes goes semi-verbal after the loops, (mostly) only able to repeat the "script" from his time in there. I have a bit of it up here, but most of it is in this series on AO3 (though for the general concept, you can just read "Line, Please.")

Months after the loops, Siffrin and their family are walking around a town and Bonnie happens to notice samosas in the window… the thing that they had basically every blinding night in the loops. Siffrin is clearly bothered, but not in the way you'd expect. All this leads to a long talk, a one man performance, and a lot of laughs. Humor and Hurt/Comfort (heavier on the comfort).

Crossposted here on AO3.

(And always, if you like what I do, reblog, leave a comment, or maybe buy me a Kofi?)

“Oh oh oh! Guys! Look, this place has samosas!” Bonnie said, tugging them through the streets of Bagon. Even amongst Vaugaurde, the area was known for its cooking. The smells of food filled the streets, enough to make even the pickiest child consider trying something new, and the outdoor market was in full swing now that it was warming up again!

It was that perfect time of year where spring made it warm enough to travel, but still cold enough to enjoy some nice, hot food (and oh Change, being medicated again made her hungry!), or at least Mirabelle thought so! It was still too cold for Bonnie and Odile, and Siffrin kept pretty warm with his cloak, but she and Isabeau seemed to like it! 

And speaking of Siffrin, he was staring at where Bonnie had seen samosas on the menu. While they were all getting better at reading Siffrin, sometimes it was still a little difficult. This was one of those times. His head was tilted, an odd look in his eye. Not necessarily upset, but not exactly happy either. He opened his mouth like he was about to say something, but only a breath came out.

It wasn’t just her that noticed. Isabeau put a gentle hand on their shoulder, not minding that Siffrin jumped before settling into the contact. “You alright, Sif?” 

“Huh?” Siffrin blinked owlishly. “Ah, sorry. Was just remembering something.”

Odile’s eyebrows shot up. “Oh? Remembering what?”

“Remembering loop stuff…

Loop stuff? From samosas?

Bonnie jolted. “OH RIGHT!!! Crab, sorry Frin! I forgot that’s why I stopped making Samosas! ‘Cause you had ‘em every day in forever school.” 

Oh that’s right! Mirabelle had forgotten that Bonnie made samosas that day, but makes sense Siffrin wouldn’t have…

Bonnie took Siffrin’s hand to start tugging him away. “We can go somewhere else-“

“No.” He said it a bit too seriously, which he must’ve noticed as he smiled and mussed up Bonnie’s hair. “I can’t deny my Bonbon TWO of their three favorite foods!” He looked back to the shop. “Besides, I’m pretty sure they sell more than JUST Samosas. Though they might not be as… as…” They scrunched up their eye, glaring at the sign for a moment. Then their eye widened and they puffed themselves up as they said, “DE~LI~CIOUS as yours would be.”

“Why’d you say it weird?” Bonnie asked.

“I was trying to sound like Isa? It’s, uh… been a while. Since I heard that.” He trailed off again, staring into space…

Odile went over to the door and said, “Would you like to have this talk on a chair with some hot food, or would you rather keep staring through the window like an incompetent stalker?”

“Madame!” Mirabelle squealed. You can’t just?! Say that?!

But say it she did, and everyone else was laughing, even as Siffrin also tried to sink into his cloak like a turtle. 

“Yeah yeah, we should go in. But, um… I need time. To get thoughts together first? And not do this in public?”

“Reasonable enough. Now get in, I’m cold.”

They all filed inside. Only Bonnie ended up ordering the samosas, but none of them entirely missed the way that Siffrin eyed them.

————

They were all back at the nearest inn… which was fairly packed, given that spring was here. Mirabelle wasn’t the least bit surprised. After all, Spring was quite important in the Change religion! A time for new growth, a fresh start, and a reminder that while Change was destruction, it was creation too! A lot of people celebrated by picking up new hobbies, clearing out some space for those hobbies and just tidying in general (Spring Cleaning!), travel, and bonding ceremonies. 

All of this to say, there was only one room available… but Madame Odile was pretty insistent on NOT having only one bed, and somehow they ended up with three. Mirabelle made sure to slip extra tips to the poor staff, that was mortifying! Though the space was nice…

“I call Mira!” Bonnie said, grabbing her hand. She could only yelp in shock as they were both catapulted to the nearest bed, making it thunk against the wall. 

“Can I call Sif?” Isabeau said, chuckling at the not-actually-a-question. Even in the days before they saved Vaugaurde, it was rarer that they didn’t sleep together. 

Siffrin stuck his tongue out and, “Nah. Isa…” they trailed, took a quick breath in, and smirked, “Isa has to sleep on the floor.” They looked over to Odile for a moment, then jumped a few inches when Bonnie laughed instead.

“FINALLY! No more being gross!” Bonnie cheered.

“I was just joking,” Siffrin said.

“BOOOOOO!”

“Yaaaaaay!” Isabeau said, even clapping his hands and looking all sparkle-eyed at Siffrin (how had she missed that they liked each other?!) 

“Heh! Heh…” Siffrin trailed off again.

Oh Change. “Hey, Siffrin? Are you okay?” Mirabelle walked over and… wait, crab, what does she do with her hands now? Um… “Pat Pat!” Head pats, sure! Wait… Oh Change, he actually leaned in that’s??? So??? Cute?!?!

Siffrin smiled, eye shutting, and let out a sigh. “I’m alright, just…” He shuffled his feet, looking down, then up again, staring at the ceiling.

“Is this related to earlier in any way?” Odile asked.

Siffrin looked aside. “… maaaaaybe…” 

“We aren’t doing anything too close to the loops, are we?” Isabeau said. “I’m willing to actually sleep on the floor if-“

“NO! I mean, kinda, but also no? You don’t have to sleep on the floor, Isa. And it’s, um… weird.”

“Yeah, well, you’re weird! And we like you that way,” Bonnie huffed. “So out with it!” They scampered over to the door and held their arms out. “No escape!”

Siffrin blinked dumbly. Once. Twice. “Snrk-“ He plopped down on bed and started laughing. “Oh come on! I’m not that bad at talking…” he looked around the room and added, “…anymore!” 

Odile nodded, “I will concede, you’ve gotten better. But Boniface, stay there.”

“Sorry ‘Za! I’m the Defender now! Ehehe.”

“Oh nooooo!” Isabeau said, dramatically swooning onto the ground in exaggerated defeat. Everyone laughed. Some a little, some a lot, but they all laughed, even Isabeau!

Change, she loved these people.

“So then… Siffrin…” Mirabelle stepped closer with the utmost seriousness. Siffrin trembled before her! “You will…” Pause for dramatic effect, hand on her currently missing sword (she was in pajamas after all)… “Talk about your feelings!!!”

“NOOOOOOO!” Siffrin moaned, collapsing onto the bed and snickering. Though he sighed and rolled to look at all of them. “… but okay. Just… promise you won’t find it weird or wrong?”

“Of course, young one.”

“Sif, we aren’t going to judge you!”

“Never! Never ever!”

“I mean, you are weird, Stupidfrin, but tell! Us!” 

Siffrin squeaked and rolled into a ball like a little hedgehog.

Mirabelle couldn’t help but giggle, “Oh no! We came on too strong!” She sat down in bed next to him.

“Scared like the stray animal he is,” Odile tutted.

Maybe it was a little mean to poke this much fun when he was having problems… but it seemed to relax him, actually? She could say from experience that treating it too seriously was anxiety inducing itself!!! A cornered animal bites! 

Siffrin pushed himself up, shuffling close enough that their knees and elbows bumped together, but not much else. “Thanks guys.” In… out. “I dunno how you guys are so sweet when I’m so weird…”

“Like Boniface said, we already know that. It’s going to take more than a few new quirks to scare us off.” 

Blushing, Siffrin tried to bury into their collar, but he was in night clothes. No cloak! So cute! Everyone was nice enough not to mention it.

They continued, “It’s just…” He looked around as though looking for a distraction, but no one was interrupting. “With the samosas, it, uh… Took me a moment. To remember. What you guys said.”

Odile raised an eyebrow. “And that’s… bad?”

“It shouldn’t be…?” Siffrin squirmed. One of his hands found one of Mirabelle’s. She gave it a little squeeze, and he gave one back. “I mean. I… Let’s talking about something. Stars-!” 

Mirabelle squeezed his hand again. “There’s no rush.”

In… out. In. And out. “Thank you.” One more time. Big breath in… big breath out. “I guess it surprised me more than anything. Which is? Kinda dumb???”

Isabeau tried to cut in, “It’s not-“

But Siffrin kept talking, “I was careful! No wishes! No ‘Hi Isa, I need to do the Favor Tree thing!’ Even though I thought I wis- though I wanted to forget. But I didn’t mean those parts!” He held tighter to her hand, breath quickening. “I wanted to forget the King and the Sadnesses and the Head Housemaiden! Not you guys!”

Everyone tried to act at once, tried to protest, but Mirabelle was closest. She took his face in her hands—ignore the way he jumped, the moment of panic, the memory of a slap—and made him look her in the eyes. “Siffrin. You are NOT forgetting us! We’re right here, okay?” 

Bonnie barreled into him, Isabeau showed a little more restraint and just opened his arms for the group hug, and Odile messed up his hair a bit from the side. 

“Yeah! No way you can forget me!!!” Bonnie shouted.

“I would hug the memory back into you,” Isabeau said. 

Siffrin snorted, relaxing into the group hug. “Thanks guys, heh. Sorry, like I said. It’s a little bit weird, but I guess…” he had to stop to breathe again. “I guess a lot of things. I don’t want to forget more. Some part of me’s scared I’ll somehow forget my scripts and just go entirely mute. And it’s- it’s the only proof I have that it happened, because it didn’t! It didn’t happen to anyone else. Not on the loop that stuck!” His grasp on them tightened. Not painfully so, not when spread out across three people, but it was noticeable. “And it’s kind of not blinding fair! I- I… ‘I’d rather you ask everyone else if they need help, first.’ And I did! And- and THANK YOU SNACK LEADER FOR THIS DELICIOUS MEAL! and Fromage and… and it… How can I help you on this wonderful new loop…”

He let out a bitter laugh. “… it didn’t happen.” 

No one knew what to say. What even could they say? There was a heaviness in the air, an oppressive silence. It felt like if something broke it, everything might shatter…

But Change is destruction, and Mirabelle was a Housemaiden. “It happened to you.”

“But-“

“No, Mirabelle is right,” Odile said. “Even if it didn’t technically happen to anyone else, it happened to you for the equivalent of months. And if I recall correctly, you’ve mentioned before that that was your rock bottom, as it were.”

“I don’t think anyone blames you for feeling cheated, Sif,” Isabeau said. “Or for missing good memories, or, uh… wishing things went better.”

Siffrin sighed, resting his head on Isabeau’s shoulder. “I just, I just wish- wait! No. I want you guys to remember too. But I know that can’t happen without, um, actually wishing it. And no thank you. I think sharpening my dagger is the most wishcraft I want anymore.”

“Fair and valid,” Isabeau said. 

“Yeah… though I feel like it’d get confusing, having two memories of the same day,” Mirabelle said.

Siffrin gave her the most deadpan look and-

“Oh Change, I guess you technically do have a lot of the same day huh,” Mirabelle said one quiet breath. 

Siffrin chuckled, “Understatement. Though for better or worse, the fact that I, uh, didn’t change much made parts of it less confusing? Like…” He looked around and his eye widened. “Y’know, if you push that bed off the far wall to be more in the middle, it looks like the clock tower…” He trailed into mumbles as he just… apparently decided to do that! Without much issue! Sometimes Mirabelle forgot how strong they were now.

Isabeau, regardless, decided to pick up the other end and help. “Uh. I am going with this because you started it, but why are we doing a thing that seems kinda tailor made to trigger you, Sif?”

“I have, like, half an idea. Working on it,” Siffrin said as he set the bed down.

“Curious as I am, I’m with Isabeau on this one. This seems ill-advised,” Odile said. 

“That took, like, five seconds. We can move it back!” Siffrin huffed, sitting on the newly moved bed. “Besides. They’re way closer.” The room was quite a bit smaller than the clock tower after all, not really meant to shove all five of them in there.

“Oh! Are we making one BIG bed?” Mirabelle said. “Ultimate bed!!!”

“Gross, Frin! I don’t wanna be next to you and Za KISSING!”

“I agree with the preteen,” Odile said. “Veto’d.”

“That’s not-!” Siffrin huffed and pulled his legs in to sulk.

Oh no! “C��mon, we should probably let Siffrin think! And then tell us, um, what he’s thinking,” Mirabelle said.

“Thank you!” Siffrin said, flopping onto his back with an overdramatic huff. There were a few chuckles, but then they let the poor guy think. 

Siffrin took a deep breath. “So… I know I’ve been, uh, a little skittish. With play stuff.” They’d tried to see one once or twice, but he couldn’t step foot into a theatre without looking like he was just… empty. “But maybe I could act it out…?” His voice hoy quieter until it was a near whisper, eye averted…

And she couldn’t blame him. Isabeau and Odile both looked like he’d suggested going to swim with Sadnesses, and Bonnie looked to Odile and tried to mimic it.

“Sif, I don’t think-“

“Don’t be stupid, Frin-“

“Young one, this might not-“

“I THINK IT’S A GREAT IDEA!” Mirabelle shouted… and jumped, surprised at just how loud that came out. And oh Change, all eyes were on her now! But… oh, just pretend they’re in their underwear… hmm, that doesn’t work as well when you’ve had to wash clothes and bathe in rivers and have actually seen that. 

Deep breath, like Siffrin! They’re her friends, and it’s her turn to help. She walks over to Siffrin, sitting beside him and pulling them up enough to take their hands in hers. “I know it might sound a little counter-intuitive, to do something relating to what scares you, or, um, trauma in your case, but sometimes it’s good to? In little ways where you have control!”

She rubbed the backs of his palms with her thumbs. “It’s kind of like reading horror books? Getting to be a little scared, but safely? Or, hmm… no. Not reading… writing fanfiction! All the control is in my hands! I can make it horrible if I want, or can make them live happily ever after, or can have them face my greatest fears in front of an audience and make out over the gorey remains! And yeah, maybe it’s scary, but it’s safe scary? My, um… some of the other Housemaidens who are good at medicine and therapy and stuff recommended it, actually.”

She smiled at Siffrin, putting a hand on his cheek. The rest are probably staring at her, but this is no grand stage. It’s… “It’s us, our family! Not a whole theatre, not Dormont, or a House or anything like that. You’re safe here with us, and you can stop or break the script whenever you want, okay?“

He was looking at her like she was the one who made the seasons change and sun move across the sky. “Okay.”

She stood up and clapped. “Good!” And then dared look around. Everyone was staring!

“So, did you take a class on psychology, then?” Odile asked. 

“Three. One of which was actually theatre related!”

“Crab yeah Mira!” Isabeau pumped his fist for her. 

“You guys are nerds,” Bonnie said.

They couldn’t refute that! 

“Snrk- yeah, we can’t all be as cool as you, Bonbon,” Siffrin said. “So… if we’re good, do I just, like, do it…? I mean, the scene setting is already here.”

“What, by yourself?” Odile said.

“I’m not writing you a script and having you do it. If I see you guys say and do those things again, it might actually give me a panic attack,” Siffrin said. He stood up on the bed. “Sorry guys! One man show!”

“One! Man! Show!!!” Bonnie cheered. “Should I make popcorn?”

“I mean, yes, always,” Isabeau said. “But how long should this take?”

“Not long. Two minutes or so? Provided you don’t combust, Isa~”

“Wait, why would I combust???” Isabeau was already blushing some, holding his hands up defensively.

“EW! I don’t wanna hear you pretend to be Za being mushy! We get enough of that!” 

Siffrin smirked. “Okay, but, then you can laugh at me being Isa being mushy. And you’re in this scene too!”

Bonnie’s eyes went wide, mouth open in childish awe. “Am I yelling at you?”

“Mmmmmmaybe~” Pause. “Yes.”

“I KNEW IT!”

“Oh I’m going to have to give the neighbors something to make up for this,” Mirabelle whispered to herself. It wasn’t too late though, so hopefully they weren’t in, or at least weren’t trying to sleep.

“Dile! Get the tea heater!” They pulled out a small pan and lid from their bag. “I’m making POPCORN!” 

“Guess we’ve got a few minutes before the show. Everyone take your seats~”

“There is only one chair, and I claim it,” Odile said. 

“Overbooked! A tragedy!” Isabeau said with an exaggerated gasp and hand over his heart. 

Mirabelle, meanwhile, felt some of her theatre classes coming back. Just the rehearsals though! There was a play, but she panicked so hard that poor Junette had to just throw on the bonnet she was supposed to wear and, well, improving that that mother requesting help was the secretly the villain in disguise was sheer genius, actually! 

Wait… “Oh!” She pulled an extra bow from her bag and gave it to Siffrin. “Here! To play me! Um, assuming I’m here?” 

“You were!”

“Hmm, probably better than you attempting to do accents. Because, young one, if I didn’t know you, I’d think your attempt at mimicking me was offensive on purpose,” Odile said, smirking at Siffrin.

“Sorry Madame.”

“Here,” she passed him those weird, opaque glasses that they’d… wait… when did she get those??? 

“What about you, Bonbon. Should I steal your hat~?” Siffrin teased, inching to where it was piled atop their things.

“No. Borrow a spatula.” 

“Bon yes bon!” They pulled a spatula. Brilliant!

“Wait! What can I give you…?” Isabeau said, making a sad puppy dog face. And that was fair! Siffrin’s ears weren’t pierced, and putting earrings on and off would be a chore anyways. And Isabeau’s gloves were just too big for Siffrin’s hands!

It apparently stumped everyone as they just stared… 

Until Bonnie said, “Make your hair stand up like a bird’s.”

That alone got a chuckle out of some of them, and it turned to outright laughs when Isabeau fake cried, “So MEAN! I’m not a bird. I’m buff!”

“The buffest of birds,” Siffrin said, pressing again Isa and standing on tiptoes to kiss his cheek. 

Bonnie threw some corn at them. 

“Worth it!” Isabeau chirped.

The popcorn was ready shortly afterwards, salted and put in a little bowl in front of everyone. Siffrin was on the bed, stage right. He spit in his hand to spike up his hair, like a bird!

“Sif…” Siffrin deepened his voice, prompting snorts from all of them at his attempt to sound like Isabeau. “Hey… hey Sif. Siffrin. Siffarooni.” 

Siffrin then scooted over and tamped his hair down just to look behind him then quickly scoot back and fluff his hair again. If the ridiculousness of such an act weren’t silly enough, it was clear he was aware of this, trying not to laugh. 

He took a deep breath and got back “in character,” looking at the empty space in front of him with the biggest, puppiest eye he could muster. “Um… Sorry? To wake you? I just have to tell you something. If that’s okay?”

“Oh crab, I didn’t!!!” Isabeau groaned, pressing his hands into his eyes. 

“In front of my Belle?!” Bonnie said, gesturing to Mirabelle like she was an art piece.

Siffrin once more played “himself” and nodded before doing his silly little scoot back to being Isabeau. “Okay, okay, okay. Then I shall tell you the thing! The thing I woke you up to tell you!”

“Siiiiiif I take it back let’s end this!” Isabeau groaned. 

“Quiet, I’m watching the show,” Pdile said, taking a handful of popcorn.

Bonnie seemed considerably more interested in laughing at Isabeau, but Siffrin didn’t seem to mind.

Siffrin continued, unmoved by the begging. “Haha! Um. So.”

“The thing I have to tell you. Is. That…” Siffrin looked off to the side, a snort escaping as he caught Isabeau’s clearly shaded face. Still, he delivered his line. “I don’t have anything to tell you right now. But I will, when, uh, we beat the King, okay?”

“Oh Change and I said this every night, didn’t I? Aaaaargh that must’ve gotten so crabbing annoying!” Isabeau moaned. 

“Now you know how I feel!” Bonnie said.

Siffrin was back in his place, but… “Uh… hmm. Breaking character of, uh… myself? A sec? Eventually I just got quiet but that’s more sad than funny, so we’re doing the funny one. Okay back to it!” He cleared his throat. “That is still SO ominous, Isa.”

Back to Isa and oh Change he actually did a really good impression of Isabeau’s flustered face! “I, uh, just don’t wanna tell you right now when it might distract you! Wouldn’t want that! So, uh, I’ll tell you when we beat the, um, King, okay?”

Siffrin looked at them, opened his mouth to say something, then it split into a head manic grin as an idea hit. Oh Change here we go. 

Siffrin bolted up, snapped, grabbed the spatula and a pillow, threw it, dropped the spatula, and lunged for the bed so it hit him in the face. 

“SIF?!”

“Pfffft, hahaha!”

“PILLOW! THROW!”

“Hahahaha! Oh noooooo!” 

They had to take a short intermission from everyone laughing too hard. Once, even twice it almost ended, but someone snickered and started it again! But third time’s the charm.

Siffrin picked the dropped spatula back up, “I’ll wash this after,” and then got on the middle bed and pointed accusingly at the empty bed, “SOME PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP!” 

“HEY I DON’T SOUND LIKE THAT!” Bonnie huffed.

“Oh he’s trying,” Mira said. Though truthfully, the squeaky voice Siffrin had chosen was awful.

“You hit me with a pillow?!” Isabeau said.

“I would’ve used a book,” Odile said.

Siffrin hit the bed and set the bow on his hair. “YEAH ISABEAU! SOME PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP! CLOSE YOUR MOUTH AND SLEEP!”

“PFFFT, Belle sounds like a mouse!” Bonnie said. “Belle’s on my side Belle’s on my side!”

Then Siffrin rushed over to stage right once more, slicking hair in the midst of a fit of giggles. “CLOSE YOUR MOUTH HOUSEMAIDEN! YOU’RE GONNA WAKE UP M’DAME ODILE!”

“How could I have slept through this?” Odile said. 

Siffrin went to the far bed, stifling giggles behind his hand before putting on the dark glasses and somehow managing to be utterly serious as he said, “I’m already up.” He didn’t bother with a voice, but got the tone scarily serious. 

“Oh, so I didn’t,” Odile remarked.

“And if the noise continues, I will stand up. You do not want to know what will happen if I stand up.”

Aaaand right back to the energy. He looked exaggeratedly spooked as he picked up the spatula and dove under the covers. “Sorry.” Then tried to roll over, presumably to be Mirabelle, and-

THUMP! “NYA!”

“Did you-?”

“Did he-?”

“Did Sif-?”

“Did they-?”

“Stars- YES I JUST SAID NYA!” Tangled in the sheets, Siffrin had hit the floor, and now was hiding in the covers, wiggling futilely for a few seconds before giving up. “… for the record. That did not happen. Uh… crew? A little help? Rather not cut these.”

Mirabelle giggled as she got up, helping get the sheets off without having to resort the scissors craft. 

Siffrin brushed the dust off of him, held the bow up, and gave a quick little, “Sorry.”

Then went back to be Isabeau. “Sorry m’dame…” He looked appropriately abashed, but the look turned into one of a familiar, adoring smile. “Good night, Sif!” 

“Aaaaaand scene!” Siffrin said, standing back up and giving a little bow.

They all clapped for him, even if Bonnie was breathless from laughing and Isabeau was still dark-cheeked. 

“Good job, Siffrin!” Mirabelle said, going over and playfully spinning him… and forgetting their current lack of space, squawking as they both tumbled onto a bed, laughing and breathless.

Isabeau must’ve gotten jealous as he scooped Siffrin into his arms and started kissing his cheek! “Mwah mwah mwah mwah mwah!”

“GROOOOOOSSSS!” Bonnie whined.

Siffrin was laughing so much that both he and Isa had to sit down a minute, but eventually Siffrin got back up to put the bed back, then munch on some popcorn. “Mmmmm, good as always, Bonbon~” They mussed up Bonnie’s hair with a smile as more salty snacks disappeared into their mouth. 

“I AM the best chef cooker after all!” Bonnie said, little chest puffed out.

“You are!” Siffrin said. He went a bit quiet for a moment before saying, “Speaking of that, we’re near a market anyways… wanna try making those fritters again? Maybe with a few spicy peppers?”

“YEAH!!!”

“We might wanna grab something for the neighbors too, if only to apologize…” Mirabelle said. 

“And we haven’t been kicked out yet, so to bribe the inkeepers as well,” Odile said.

“MADAME!”

They went into another bout of giggles and finished up the popcorn before going to brush teeth and settle in…

And in the dark and quiet, as she was starting to drift off to sleep, she could hear Isabeau say, “And hey Sif, just gonna tell it this time… I love you!”

“I love you too!”

Mwah!

And that night, everyone slept well.

-----

I prefer tea, but buy me a Kofi?

[knight-dwx-09]

The Angel With Devil Wings

Oscar open the door with joyful expression.

Oscar: Hey guys! I am back from Vale!

However, instead of a happy greetings or group hugs, he was met with silence as team RWBY and (J)N(P)R sat on the bed with haunted look, as if they were about to go to war.

Oscar: uhh… guys? Is there something wrong? Did Salem announced that she will attack or is she coming to here at this moment?

Ruby: Jaune just message us just now…

Oscar: oh! What did he said? Did he want to watch a movie or play games together? It has been years since I last interact with him with how busy he is after he work with medical department. I really miss him

Ruby: He said that… that all of us should head to the combat arena in a hour…

Oscar: I… see?

Nora: *Clung desperately to Ren’s hand* Renny! I don’t want to train with scary fearless leader today!

Ren has a calm expression unlike anyone else, however, the young boy could see that his whole body was gray out completely. Even then, when Oscar focus just a bit more, the trembles in Ren’s hands was noticeable.

While Blake was the opposite, she was visibly scared while wrapping her hands around Yang’s waist and bury her head onto the shoulder, her cat ears were flat as she whispered something but he couldn’t made out what it was.

Yang had her eyes in two different color, one red and one purple. And only end of her hair was in ablaze. Oscar didn’t even know that was possible for her to do so but she give off a different vibes whenever she use her semblance. Instead of the fiery spirit, one that made her feel like undefeatable, she felt more like a small animal being backed into a conner and try its best to look big.

Weiss: *holding a small doll version of Jaune when he was still at Beacon with tiny version of Croceo Mors* I am sorry dad, I will be a nice girl for now on

Ruby hugs her legs and rocking back and forth.

Oscar: Come on guys, this is Jaune we are talking about. He is one of, if not, the nicest person we have ever met. What are you all so scared of?

Yang suddenly appeared in front of Oscar, scaring him a bit as he try to take a step back but was stopped when she grabbed him by the shoulder with a serious look. However, the slight tremble in her hands reveal her unease and fear.

Yang: Oscar, I know you haven’t see him for a while so I understand why you are confused, but believe me when I said this…

She leaned closer so they were inches away from each other as she whispered to his ear in a scared and timid voice.

Yang: He had change…

Last week

Yang: Tell me where did you hide the weapons?

Criminal: Up your ass!

Yang gritted her teeth at the another fail attempt of extracting information, he was very closed to give him a good knuckle sandwich between his eyes but that was stopped when a yellow haired man in a white coat, hands inside pocket, barged into the room.

Yang: *Scared* Oh, h-hey Jaune! I-it’s nice to see you here

Jaune: It’s nice to see you as well… But can you give us some alone time, firecracker?

Yang: Of course! I will be waiting outside whenever you need me *Hurriedly escaped*

Jaune: So you are one of the White Fang who stole the military’s weapons and mechs this morning?

Criminal: *smiled* So what? Are you gonna give me bitter medicine to ge-

Before he could finish, Jaune’s right leg struck him in the chest through the cuff, breaking it and sent him flying that cause him to bounce off the wall before landed on the ground on all four as the airs crawl out of his lungs.

Jaune: Well, I have been accumulating some stress lately and miss out on hours of my training thank to my dolts of a friend this morning, so…

He bring his hand and make a gesture that say bring it.

Jaune: Give your all and fight me. if you managed to shatter my aura or kill me, the polices will let you go and all of your criminal record get wipe clea-

But before he could even finished what he have to say, the man spring to action as he try to claw Jaune’s face. But it didn’t surprised the doctor as he nonchalantly dodged the strike, leaving a faint trails of energy in their wake, and before the criminal could react, Jaune’s hand were wrapped around his mouth as he were slam into the floor, causing all the air and spit wanting to escape but failed to as his mouth being blocked by a firm grip.

Jaune: You should at least let me finish before accepting my deal, oh well, your funeral, Russet

The criminal, named Russet, grab Jaune’s hand to hold him down while to twist his body enough to bring his leg for a kick that has a similar glow. However, Jaune counter by simply throwing him into the same wall he had kick him to a second ago, like what happened at that time, he bounces off and land on all four.

Jaune: I have read your documents and I know you have a semblance that allow you to produce claw made of Aura from your hands or foot that could cut through steels. Simple and pretty useful semblance that consume small amount of aura *Slowly walk closer, stretching his right arm for another strike* I guess that is fitting for you since you are a tiger Faunus

Russet: STOP! I’M IN RED! ONE HIT FROM YOU WILL SHATTER MY AURA AND SNAP MY HEAD OFF!

Jaune: *Frown* So that is your aura reserved? It’s not that large it seems *Raised his hand toward the man in front of him*

In instinct, he raise both hand to protect himself but his eyes widen from such power rushing through his vein, staring at his own hands glowing in green aura as the feeling of hundreds of drugs were just being injected into his body.

Russet: what the…

Jaune: There, I just recovered and amp your aura so you could continue to fight *Began to pop some bone in his neck*

Hearing this, Russet smiles sinisterly at the doctor as his semblance active, aura covering both hands and take shape of a sharp, long claws that accidentally sink into the ground with ease. Amazed by this turn of event and how powerful his power has become, he gazed at the doctor, thinking he was a fool and dead meat. In second, he leap forward with claw ready, aiming for the neck… Only to be stopped by using his left hand. No, Jaune did not grab his hand to stop the attack or strike him first… he simply bring the hand up and let it hit him as it stop dead in its track… it was as if it refused to slice or even dig into his flesh.

The smirk was instantly evaporated and was replaced with confusion.

But he froze immediately at the sight of Jaune, smiling and cracking the right hand.

Jaune: Now we can keep fighting until I feel satisfied

His whole body tense out of nowhere as his instincts told him to move his head at this instance and so he did. The moment he did so, Jaune’s right leg plummeted down and narrowly miss his head, letting out a gush of wind that come from his strike, that blown him away, and digs through the metal floor like it was butter.

The sense of dread suddenly invaded, a cold shiver run through his spines as sweat began form. In his mind, there were voices to tell him escape as he immediately face towards the door and run.

And Jaune, with a smirk, appeared in front of him with insane speed that was impossible for a huntsman and huntress to achieve without a speed related semblance. Then the blonde struck Russet at the stomach and cause him to spit saliva and get sent flying toward the wall, dented deeply into it.

The hit had made his vision becomes blurry, star appearing in front of him as he didn’t register what had just happened nor the pain. And this time, he feel something began to rise from within his stomach, something that was burning and stinging his throat.

His body slowly loosen from the grip of the wall and fall towards the ground knees first, hand on his stomach and mouth.

He try to hold it in but failed as he release his stomach contents all over the ground and his hands. At the same time, lungs trying to refill all the air that had been stolen from him. But this only cause some of the vomit to crawl back into his throat, causing the acrid burn of vomit flooded their nose and throat as the pain finally spread out like a wild fire.

It felt like a giant Goliath had step on his stomach all of its weight and refused to take another step away. The pain was too much for him that his mind swirl in dizziness and pain, body tremble like a leaf as he vomit more.

He could only cough and hold his stomach to try to minimize the agony he was in, tears began to emerged and slide down his face and to the ground. All he could do was to look up the Angel/Devil slowly walking closer with vomit in hand and in tears.

Russet: P-please! I WILL FUCKING DIED IF YOU CONTINUE TO HIT ME!

Jaune: What are you talking about? Your aura is still full.

The man’s eyes widened, feeling that his Aura were indeed still full.

Russet: W-wh-what? JUST FUCKING HOW!

Jaune: You won’t have to worry about your aura shattering, I will recover and amp each time I hit you so you won’t died or go to a coma on me. And I basically have bottomless Aura, mean that we could keep go at it for a long time. It doesn’t matter if your bones fracture, muscles and flesh torn, organs disfigure. Cause your Aura will protect you from any of those injuries and heal back any damage that has been inflicted. But of course, that won’t save you from the pain you are about to go through now.

Russet: How could you do something like this? Don’t you have a shred of humanity in you!

Jaune: Bastard, I am a doctor, keeping humanity together is my job. *Slowly walk towards Russet* And you should think the of the child you almost killed while stealing the weapons first before asking about my humanity. Cause trust me, this pain isn’t something you will forgot any time soon.

The scream of a man could hear throughout the building for 15 minutes until it becomes dead silent.

And where was Yang this whole time? She was waiting outside the room, sweating bullet after she listened to the scream, whole body shake like a pudding, eyes dilated while focusing on the door, waiting, waiting for the angel from hell to come out.

Every minutes felt like a hour, It was as if time had slow down and being stretch out. She didn’t realize that she was holding in a breath when the door finally opened with Jaune calmly walking out.

Jaune: I will write the coordinate of their base where they keep all of the stolen weapons

Yang: Wow… that man really is tough if he can stay quiet for this long

Jaune: Nah, he already give me the place after 5 minutes in of our session but I still have some stress to steam off so he continue to desperately attack me until he fall unconscious from the blow on the liver. I already call the police to pick him up… I should have informed them to bring cleaning kit with them though

Yang open her mouth but it becomes too dry to even speak. Or that she didn’t dare to ask.

A call then rang out as Jaune grab his scroll and answered it.

Jaune: Hello? What?! Those two idiot are injured because of Dust explode in their face? Fine, I will go there right now

He put away the communication device, grumbling with a deep frown, and takes a few steps, which cause Yang to sigh relief, before stopping to turn towards her with a dagger look.

Jaune: Don’t think I have forgotten of our spar this month, meet me in the arena at 11 after I am done healing Crater Face and your Kitty Cat

Jaune walk away once again, grumbling as usual, leaving Yang as she falls to her knees thank to her legs become really weak. Eyes then wandered back to the room for a split second and that was almost enough to cause her to faint.

Back to the present

Yang: And you don’t want to see the state of that man in. But after that, he was perfectly fine, no injuries, no lastly damage, no anything… However… when he woke up… he was a broke man of who he was before… he would always flinch at the sight of any doctor with white coat, breath hitched, eyes dilated, hearth beat spike to a dangerous level, most time he would scream and try to run away. At night, he would wake up, screaming “I AM SORRY!” or “GET AWAY FROM ME!” with tears in his eyes

Oscar: wow… that… doesn’t sound like him… and this is why you are afraid of sparring with him?

Yang: N-no… Jaune would never cross the line for us… it just… *Look Away*

Ruby: Jaune’s training are simply too intense…

Oscar: What?

Nora: Scary fearless leader would make us to run…

Oscar: That doesn’t sound too bad

Nora: 75 laps around the whole academy

Oscar: Oh…

Blake: He then made all of us to do some weight training to build some muscle… by placing 800 Kg vest and 125 Kg weighted on each of our limbs while running… we won’t even make it to halfway before most of us fall. The worst of it, he will give us time to rest so we could finish the laps and give us that damn encouragement smiles

Weiss: And that is just one of the training he thought of. Sometimes, each one of us would do different exercise to make up our weakness. And they are as intense as the first one

Ren: However, there’s one training we all would always do at the end, we were told to fight him all at once… and that usually end with all of us vomit our meal at least one… but he doesn’t hurt us that much or simply wanting to beat us up, he does help us to get stronger with Qrow telling our mistake and what we need to train

After all of it been said, Oscar stay quiet to finally digest the thing his brother from another family apparently had done while he was away.

Out of nowhere, a familiar voice boomed through out the academy that send dread in everyone, except Oscar, stomachs,

Jaune: REN, NORA, AND TEAM RWBY! YOU ARE 10 MINUTES LATE! IF I WAIT FOR ANOTHER 5 MINUTES, ANOTHER 50 LAPS WILL BE ADDED!

And not even a second when their name called that their eyes widen and run out of the room, leaving the farmer boy in the room alone.

Oscar: Ozpin… is this a normal thing that happened to everyone?

Ozpin: While it’s not common to develop such habit, some people need some way to cope with the stressful situation they are in. Whether it was to drink, have intercourse with someone, write a book, draw an art, or something else

They gazes at a table which has a mountain of books about medicine, the anatomy and physiology of the body of Faunus and humans, brain, disease, genetic, etc.

Ozpin: In Mr. Arc’s case, he use extreme training and sparing to used up the stress he collected during his work life

Oscar: That does not sound very healthy for the body…

Ozpin: No, it’s not. However, it seems like while we were at Vale to help Glynda on rebuild the whole kingdom and Beacon. Mr. Arc has a better understanding about his semblance and his body. Remember what we have heard, there was a doctor in Vacuo who always use his semblance to help huntsmen and huntress recover, even the civilians. And it seems like that man was Mr. Arc

Oscar: Wait, how can his semblance help the civilians when they haven’t unlock their Aura? Doesn’t his semblance only allow him to boost other people’s Aura

Ozpin: As for that, I’m afraid even I don’t have the answer. But we could ask Mr. Arc for it. But allow me to continue with my theory

Oscar: Okay, go on

Ozpin: There’s also some rumor spreading out that there was a doctor with yellow hair, which we can concluded to be Mr. Arc, and massive shield that always stay in front lines of a battle. While he does fight, but that wasn’t his main objective. Some huntsmen and huntress has say that they see him, always running around the battlefield, Killing a few Grimms so they won’t be overwhelmed. However, most of the time, he could be seen carried injuries one back to the back line to be heal before going to the battle to do it all over again, not even taking a single second for a rest or breather, saving many lives while doing so. because of that, he was given many nickname by others. “The Unbroken Aiges”, “White Flame Saint”, and “The Angel From Underworld”

Oscar: You know, after hearing Yang’s stories. I am afraid to ask as to how Jaune got that last nickname *Shudder from the imagine he had just imagined*

Ozpin: I believe all of this healing other, all of the battle, all of the training, had develop his semblance to the point all the negative side effects of such physical labor become null to him. I’m even fear his body and soul had become accustomed to such taxing environmental, giving him one of, if not, the strongest body in Remnant… and we do not know what’s his semblance could do now… or what it could not…

Oscar: I am not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. *Stares out of the window towards the sky*

Ozpin: So do I

————————

AN: Hello there, it has been a while since I last posted. But I am just writing this for those who like the AU I have written so far. I will mainly focus on the Wrath Of A Healer AU (This one), Wanderer Knight AU, Developer AU, and maybe Cat Arc AU for longer post like this. But of course, I will still write more short funny post on other stuff.

And the reference where I got this idea is called “The Wrong Way To Use Healing Magic”. It’s a hilarious manga I read a while ago but I haven’t catch to the recent chapter so I don’t know where the stories goes or would I recommend it so I just say the title and leave it to you all if you want to read it.

[nagichi-boop]

A Star That’s Out of Reach (Chapter 15)

[Previous] - [Next]

[Masterlist]

I’ll be honest, I have no comments to add. But what I will say is I can’t be bothered to wait to post the next chapter cuz I don’t wanna leave y’all on a cliffhanger (spoilers I guess?), so I’ll be posting the next one promptly. Please enjoy!

TW — Trauma flashbacks

— x —

Amy hummed as she cleaned her house, excited for the day ahead of her. Blaze and Silver had gone out to meet with some of the members of the Resistance, so she had some time to herself. Most of all, she couldn’t wait to meet Shadow later now that things were more settled between them. If this continued, it wouldn’t be long before they started dating officially, at least in her eyes.

Amy paused her activity as the floor began to tremble beneath her, the items in her house shaking. She wondered for a moment if there was an earthquake, but that question was dispelled as she noticed a beam of light pierced through her window. She shielded her eyes, then looked up to see what was happening. As her eyes adjusted, she watched as the Chaos Emerald that Shadow had left with her began floating towards the light, shattering her window. She lunged towards it and took hold of it, but whatever was drawing the Emerald out was stronger than her and she instead floated outside her house, clinging to the Emerald. After staring in disbelief at the ground that were several meters below her, she looked towards the source of light.

“Eggman!” She yelled in anger, not entirely surprised to see him as the cause. “Let go of me!”

“You’re the one clinging to the Emerald,” Eggman quipped back. “Surrender the Emerald or you’ll be coming with me.”

“Absolutely not,” Amy replied, tightening her grip on the Emerald. She glanced at her destination – a reinforced cage that was by no means intended to fit her. But she refused to let go, not after Shadow had entrusted the Emerald to her. She swung and placed her feet against the cage, trying to leverage herself to push away from it, but the Emerald would not stop in its path. She became jammed in the cage with barely any wriggle room, then the gate slammed behind her.

“Very well,” Eggman spoke with a level of disapproval. “I suppose I’ll find a way to deal with you.” With that, Eggman’s pod zoomed off with Amy and the Emerald in tow.

Meanwhile in Tails’ workshop, one of his gadgets pinged at him. He approached it, picking the tablet up. “Uhh Sonic?” Tails spoke up in a worried tone, capturing Sonic’s attention. “You know how you told me it was fine to leave that Chaos Emerald with Amy?”

Sonic raised an eyebrow. He hadn’t told Tails how it came into Amy’s possession, but just that she was perfectly capable of protecting it. “Yeah, I remember that. What’s up?”

Tails turned and replied; “It’s on the move. And not just that, it’s moving unnaturally fast. I think someone might have taken it.”

Sonic placed a hand on his hip and sighed. “I suppose that was bound to happen eventually. We should go fetch it in case someone like Eggman got it.”

Tails hesitated for a moment. “Do you think maybe Shadow took it? I know he and Rouge were there when we got that Emerald.” Just as quick as Tails asked, Sonic shook his head.

“Nah, I doubt even Shadow would stoop that low,” he deflected. “Come on, we need to go after it. For all we know, Amy could be caught up in the mess already.” The two of them then swiftly left the workshop with a sense of urgency, following the direction of Tails’ tablet. Just as they were mentally changing track to mission-mode, Sonic was stopped in his tracks by something. Tails stopped and turned, and as the dust settled, saw that Metal Sonic had appeared to battle Sonic. The latter glanced at Tails, then called out.

“Go, get Shadow! I’ll handle this lump of junk. Tell him Amy might be in trouble!” Though confused at the suggestion, Tails nodded and flew off in search of the other hedgehog, leaving Sonic to fend for himself against his metal counterpart. After a short while of panicked flying, Tails thankfully found Shadow laying in a field. There was no time to question why, so he landed and tried to catch his breath so he could speak. Before he could, Shadow sat up with a confused expression.

“Tails? Why are you out here?” Shadow’s tone sounded somewhat sharp, but it wasn’t intended. Thankfully, Tails was too flustered to notice or care.

He took a deep breath and spoke. “We think Eggman took one of the Chaos Emeralds! Me and Sonic were on our way to get it, but Metal Sonic stopped him. We need your help!”

Shadow didn’t respond for a moment. “Why do you need me?”

“Sonic sent me. He told me to say Amy might be in trouble.”

Shadow’s eyes widened and it occurred to him that perhaps the Emerald that was taken was the one she was protecting. Without a second thought, he stood up and began running, with Tails following behind him.

Eggman closed the cell door with Amy trapped inside, holding the Emerald proudly in his hand. “You really aren’t the brightest, are you? I had the mercy to allow you to go, but you stubbornly refused. And for what? To end up in a cell once again?”

Amy clutched the cell bars, scowling. “I couldn’t just sit idly by and let you take the Emerald from under my nose! Besides, I know I won’t be in here long.”

Eggman snickered mockingly. “Aww, you mean your precious Sonic?” Amy’s eyes widened. For the first time, Sonic wasn’t who she was thinking would save her – it was Shadow. She dared not say anything, but she looked away with reddened cheeks. To her annoyance, Eggman laughed even louder, which to her was just obnoxious. “Don’t think I hadn’t thought of that. You’ve been in this position enough times for me to prepare for the eventuality. I already dispatched Metal Sonic to deal with the rodent. And don’t bother with the bars – I reinforced them so that not even you could bend them.” Eggman then walked off, continuing to laugh to himself at his apparent victory.

Amy sighed, letting go of the bars. She backed away and sat against the wall, hugging her legs. For whatever reason, she felt more defeated than usual. She truly believed that if he knew, Shadow would rescue her in an instant. But how would he even find out? It wasn’t like he was in the same social circles as her. She glanced at the empty space beside her, as if doing so would cause him to suddenly appear. She teared up a little, burying her face in her knees.

Shadow and Tails arrived at the back of Eggman’s base. Before he could barge in, Tails stopped Shadow. “We can’t just storm in,” Tails insisted, causing Shadow to stop and listen. “Eggman no doubt will expect us to come after him, so we need a plan.” Shadow folded his arm, a serious expression on his face. He was impatient to save Amy, but agreed that rushing in was a poor move. “So how do you suggest we do that?”

Tails landed on front of Shadow, placing his hand in his chin while he thought. “Well, Eggman sent Metal out to stop Sonic, which suggests he knew Sonic would come after him.” Tails then looked up at Shadow. “But I’m sure he’s not expecting you.”

“I suppose. So what do you want me to do?”

Tails paused for a moment. “Actually, I think Rouge might be able to help. Not only will we have numbers on our side, but she is particularly qualified to help in this mission.”

Shadow frowned a little. “And what about Amy?”

Tails looked towards the base. “We still don’t know for sure what happened to her, but we best look around just in case. I can’t imagine that she would’ve let the Emerald go without a fight.”

“Rouge isn’t working today. Go to her and explain the situation. I’ll wait here.” Tails nodded and left Shadow. When he was out of sight, Shadow turned attention to the base. Though he understood where Tails was coming from, he couldn’t bear to wait any longer if there was any chance Amy was in danger. Using the Chaos Emerald at his disposal, he teleported within the base. He quietly wandered around, not finding anything odd at first beside a few Eggbots, which were easily defeated. Frustratingly, the base was large enough that exploring it took a great deal of time.

He eventually found himself in an eerily quiet room, so he entered with caution after scanning the room for potential dangers. He explored the panel of controls, but couldn’t make head or tails of what any of it did. Before he could properly explore, a beam of light pointed at him, he snarled and looked towards it squinting, then realised his Chaos Emerald was being drawn out with it. He grasped it, but couldn’t divert its path. He tried Chaos Control, but that didn’t work, either. So instead of trying to stop the Emerald, he looked to find the source. He found what looked like a projector, so he jumped and launched Chaos Spears at it, but to his annoyance the beam absorbed this energy too. When he landed, he heard what sounded like a pressure plate being activated. Before he could react to it though, a pod encapsulated him, trapping him inside. A sudden dread gripped Shadow and he found himself unable to break out, despite desperately pounding on the glass. He hadn’t felt this level of panic since…

He looked back at the panel of controls, but it was no longer the room he was in before – it was the ARK. Maria was on the floor by the controls, her breathing weak and laboured. He stared in panic at the sight and began pounding on the glass again, screaming her name. She turned to face him with messy hair and darkened eyes. To his horror, she smiled in her disheveled state, filling Shadow with an intense fear. He sank down in the pod as his strength left him, starting to gasp for air.

The glass around him shattered, causing him to cower in a ball. He heard footsteps and voices around him, but it all sounded muffled yet intense to him. It seemed as though someone was talking to him, but he kept his eyes shut and his hands over his ears: whatever was happening, he couldn’t face it. He was jolted by a hand on his shoulder, and without thinking he slashed whatever it was away. A brief moment of clarity came through and he saw a panicked Amy beside him, frozen in fear. The look of terror on her face only confused and frightened him more, and he found himself struggling to breathe.

A muffled voice spoke to him from in front of him. He slowly focused his attention to it, now seeing Rouge kneeling in front of him. “There he is,” she spoke softly, the first clear phrase that Shadow picked up on. “You’re okay, Shadow. Nothing bad is happening. Let’s focus, okay?” Through teary eyes, Shadow followed her directions. She instructed him to observe what was around him, and gradually he felt himself settle. When he had sufficiently calmed down, he rested in Rouge’s arms, letting out a tired sigh. She gently held for a moment, allowing him to compose himself before attempting to bring him back to the matter at hand.

Rouge glanced over at Amy, who had an expression of deep upset on her face. With a heavy heart, she offered a suggestion to her. “Perhaps you should go help the boys get the Emeralds back.” Amy’s eyes widened with hurt, but after hesitating for a moment, she got up and ran out of the room. Shadow opened his eyes and glanced as she left the room, and before he could muster a word to say to stop her, she was gone.

Amy caught up to Sonic and Tails mid fight. In the chaos of Eggman trying to retrieve the Emerald Tails had, Amy spotted the other was unguarded. She quietly crept up to it and picked it up, but the moment she did a metallic hand grasped her and lifted her. The commotion caught everyone’s attention, and the distraction gave Eggman a chance to knock down Sonic and Tails.

“You fools,” he belted proudly. “You think I’d let you get the Chaos Emeralds that easily?” Sonic watched as Amy squirmed and just as he was about to stand to rescue her, Eggman pinned him and Tails to the ground with another robotic arm. He then extended his hand and spoke; “Surrender the Chaos Emeralds and I’ll let your lover go.”

Before anyone had a chance to act, a blur of light moved around the room faster than anyone could track, breaking things along the way. Amy was freed from the arm’s grip, but landed in someone’s arms before she had the chance to hit the ground. When she opened her eyes, she realised it was Shadow who had saved her. Rouge hovered beside them with the other Emerald, smirking proudly at Eggman.

“Alright boys,” Rouge piped up. “Time to go.” Eggman was about to launch an attack, but quickly became distracted as a siren sounded and an alert appeared on his monitor. In his distraction, Sonic spin-dashed into him and knocked him down. When he got back up, he noticed everyone had left, sending him into a fit of rage. After making it a fair distance from the base, the group stopped to compose themselves. Shadow looked at Amy, noting the apprehension on her face. Without saying a word, he got her back on her feet.

“Is everyone okay?” Sonic asked, which was met with a series of nods and hums. “Did we get the Emeralds?” Rouge proudly held the green Chaos Emerald, while Tails showed the red one. Sonic sighed in relief. “Looks like we got what we came for then.”

Rouge landed beside Shadow and offered him the Emerald. “Go home, Shadow. You need to rest.” Shadow glanced at the Emerald, not even looking at Rouge. He took it carefully, then quietly uttered Chaos Control and disappeared. She then turned her attention to Amy, glancing at her before addressing Sonic and Tails. “You boys go home. I need to talk to Amy.”

Tails was about to object, but to his surprise, Sonic swiftly agreed. “Alrighty then. Make sure to get her home safe!” He then coaxed Tails to come with me and they departed, leaving the two girls alone.

Rouge turned to Amy, looking at her saddened expression. “Did he hurt you?” Amy shook her head, then sighed and began walking. Rouge stood in place for a moment as she figured out the best approach for this situation, then flew and took her place next to Amy. The two of them were quiet for a while before Amy finally spoke up.

“I feel awful,” she admitted, causing Rouge to look at her, though the latter didn’t yet speak. “I just wanted to help him and instead I made him even more scared.” “Oh hun, don’t beat yourself up over it,” Rouge comforted with a concerned expression. “You wanted to help him and he knows that.”

“Does he though?” Amy countered. “He couldn’t even look at me for more than a second.”

Rouge sighed, unsure how to respond. She doubted that Shadow was upset with her – he was more likely to be upset at himself. But would Amy believe that if she told her? “Before you jump to conclusions, please promise me you’ll talk to him first. I’d hate to see a misunderstanding ruin what you two have. I don’t think I’ve seen Shadow happier than when he’s been with you.”

Amy looked up at her, a little flattered and a little unbelieving. “You really think so?” Rouge smiled patiently. “Sweetie, I know so. I’m sure its killing him to think he’s hurt you.”

Amy glanced to the ground, still not entirely convinced. “I just wish I could have helped him.”

Rouge flew in front of Amy, stopping her in her tracks. “Amy, listen to me. You love Shadow, right?” Amy nodded. “And he loves you very much, painfully so. But I mean this with all the affection in the world, Shadow isn’t easy. Even I struggle to get him to open up most of the time. I adore him to pieces and would do anything for him, but I also know that he carries a lot of scars that makes him close himself off. But ever since he has been with you, I’ve seen a change in him. He is still very much keeps to himself, but he seems to be opening himself up to others more. And with you especially, he seems to be letting happiness in.” Rouge sighed, a serious yet conflicted look on her face. “I don’t mean to pressure you into staying with him. If what happened to you puts you off the idea, I completely understand. But as his friend, I would be remiss if I didn’t at least try to fight for his happiness. So please, please don’t make any rash decisions. Just talk to him and be honest, if for no other reason than your own peace of mind.”

Amy didn’t say anything, silently taking in her request. Rouge stared at her, realising she had perhaps overloaded her.

“Sorry hun,” Rouge spoke up. “I didn’t mean to overload you. Take some time to yourself to destress, then think about what I said when you’re ready. Just promise you won’t make any rash decisions about this, okay?” Amy smiled weakly and nodded, prompting a relieved sigh from Rouge. The two of them silently continued to Amy’s house. Once there, Amy thanked Rouge and entered.

Rouge then went home, the rooms extremely quiet. As she expected, Shadow had gone to bed, facing the wall. She flew up and gently tapped him on the shoulder. “Do you want to talk?” She asked in a soft, gentle voice, but Shadow didn’t move nor speak. “Alright. I’m here if you need me. Sleep well, Shadow.”

Rouge left the room, and as the door closed, the room was enveloped in darkness. Shadow stared at the wall, but gradually felt a sadness welling in his chest. He covered his mouth and curled up more, quietly weeping to himself.

[elizabethrobertajones]

Yeah right, liar.

........... CYLVA. WHY. You can't just say these things to Jane when she has NO IDEA THE LORE BOMB YOU ARE GOING TO DROP ON HER.

Quite literally, I think :P

Unrelated but she absolutely ate this camera angle

anyway remember when I said that Jane joining the Scions was a terrible idea because she would become Completely Hydaelyn Pilled and turn it into a weird cult thing if no one else was going to do it for her?

I feel like this is the exact level of fanaticism that meets that freak :P Granted, Cylva is manipulating the Warrior of Light generation machine for the sake of causing a calamity, with the Most Manipulated Pawns In The Universe who are only on step one or two of like 6 in this chess game. But the stuff she's saying is 100% something Jane would believe and agree with XD Like yeah actually we SHOULD dedicate ourselves to Hydaelyn by following a regeime of self-sacrifice and toppling evil in a semi-gamified and marketable plan to increase your Mothercrystal Rankings -

I know you're being dramatic and also want that but that's 100% the angle of the cat in the picture with all the knives pointing at it and the cat is so so smug and somehow exactly where it wants to be :3

^ pictured holding back saying the name that would trigger a second Echo flashback in a row and force Jane to realise exactly why Cyella has been scowling at her all month and spilling every other drink she ordered onto her head.

(Jane thought she was like. Maybe a former guard, wounded in battle and kept around as a barmaid out of pity even though her arms were shaky, and Jane was being ever so forebearing with this treatment and didn't even go complain to Glynard even though she really wanted to)

"Like you, I'm from the Thirteenth."

"What!? I'm not a demon, despite the scythe I carry! I come from the Source?! I was born in Ishgard!"

Cyella's eyes widened, and for a moment her furious composure, seething with self-loathing almost as visceral as the shadows that had framed her in the memory, faltered. "You - you're not?"

"I'm not!" Jane protested, dazed with the sideways blow to her sense of self that had come out of nowhere as she processed the tale of the Shadowkeeper in her own voice. "Why would you even say that? Unukalhai said he had no idea what Elidibus knew about me so why do you know any different?"

Cyella paused, glanced away as if through the veil to worlds long lost. "He lied to you, then."

"Why would he do that? I asked him not to!" Jane all but stomped her foot in its pointy-toed boot.

The pity that flashed across Cyella's face was exhausted, deeply ingrained. She looked Jane up and down slowly, brow furrowed - "Your avatar. Of course. Give me your - whatever focus binds you two together."

Jane reached for her job stone, but only clutched it tight in her fist, gripped with a deep horror of the answers she'd been hunting ever since waking in Fallgourd Float. "Why?"

"Did you not feel a thing when you made that pact?" Cyella was looking flummoxed now, her sword arm dropped to her side, her head shaking slowly, mouth slightly open and corners nagging down.

"I don't know, I was trying to figure out what was up with all the voidsent following me so I talked to Drusilla and she gave me this stone, but then I got called away to the First before I could figure any of it out? And then I started absorbing Lightwardens and everything gets a bit blurry and strange from there? I - I hadn't thought about it since."

Cyella rubbed her forehead. "Are you serious. Across all lifetimes and worlds, even when you can accomplish all this and you're still - " She held her hand out more insistently. Terrified more of her than the truth suddenly, Jane dropped the soul stone into her palm.

"Janey," Cyella said, to the stone. "What happened to you now?"

The avatar poured forth from the stone in a rush of shadow, pooling at Cyella's feet before rising in a pillar to a hooded figure carrying a scythe; a young woman who looked startlingly like Jane. But a few inches taller.

She looked from Jane, to Cyella, to Jane again, then back to Cyella. "Do you know how long I was trapped as a mere grub crawling in the slime of the shattered world?" she demanded in a scratchy, hollow voice. "Trapped in the rift alone while you broke free and left me to rot?" she added, in a screech that somehow sounded like another's voice entirely. "Ten thousand years severed and you lived as a king!?" both sides of her voice screamed.

Cyella wafted a hand through Janey like she was smoke, and the avatar dispersed, sucking back into the stone. For a long time, the two of them stared at the object gently shaking in her gloved palm; whether from the contained rage, or Cyella's own trembling.

"She seemed angry," Jane said, after a while.

"She ran off with some ascian and doomed our world, then had the gall to come crawling back to me when the Flood of Darkness came. Of course I kicked her away. What a bitch." Cyella threw the stone to Jane, who fumbled and barely caught it. "Well, you did me no harm, you poor mangled thing. Maybe you'd even be better if you'd never met her. I'm sorry I blamed you for what she did, for what it's worth. It seems the little leech climbed into your soul somewhere along the way and was simply biding her time playing at being your avatar until she could put herself back together."

"But I only picked up this job a day before I came to the First?"

"Something has been wrong with you for a while, though, hasn't it? I see - in your memories - falling through the dark. Moments before you're dashed to pieces on the rocks below your precious city, a rift opens, and something pulls you in. And I can see what you did not, thanks to the Echo. Elidibus was the one who caught you. Who saved your life only to feed you to that thing. All your magic, all that sorcery you've been able to command since? That's Janey, feasting on your aether and giving back just enough to make you feel special."

"Um... did you know her?"

Cyella buried her face in her hands for a moment.

After swallowing back several replies, she looked at Jane again with contemptuous pity. "I thought I did. What you have there, though... Flakey and useless as she was, is not even the Janey who let Igeyorhm walk all over her until our world was consumed by shadows. The last time I saw her, she was clawing her way into a rift to hide from the Flood, and I'm not ashamed to admit, I tried to stop her. To make her look, just once! at what she had done, and own up to something."

She sighed in disgust. "I don't regret watching her torn in twain, one half swallowed by the rift, the other twisted and mutated into a voidsent before my eyes. It's your bad luck you seem to be the perfect vessel for her to attempt to sew those parts back together. I'd advise not letting them."

"Oh... But... I'm actually pretty good at the art of the Reaper."

"Are all of you as stupid as each other? No, don't answer that. Just. Don't encourage her. Seek help. Be better than her - more like Ardbert. I know you can be, at least sometimes. Stop her from ruining everything all the time!"

"Um. Sorry about your big Shadowkeeper moment. Do you - do you want to keep doing this? It seemed important."

Cyella huffed and made another gesture like she wished she could waft Jane away as easily as she'd banished the voidsent Janey. "Let's get this over with. I don't even care." She looked out over the purple woodland below them. "Although, I have to say, I had learned a lot from Janey and Igeyorhm about how easy it would be to lead the First's heroes into a trap to flood their world, just as blindly as she had done, and thinking they were heroes every step of the way."

She took another, long, moment to compose herself, then resumed her tale.

And at the end of it, her plea rang hollow and empty; Jane bursting into tears as soon as Cyella begged her for death; her scythe remaining firmly sheathed, frozen by the horror of letting Cylva down again.

"Oh, hello! I'm Jane!"

"... of course you are."

[teamisc]

GRRRRRRRRRR

[xxplastic-cubexx]

you open my Super Important Documents and its just pictures of charles xavier