#i should say something cause its not just me.

[randum-famdoms]

Something I have seen people complain about is when the story “stops” for a character to mentally think about their feelings regarding something.

I think that’s bullshit.

Like, okay. Think about it. How fast is your train of thought? Faster than your reading speed, right? Do your thoughts all happen in neat little sentences, or as more of a nebulous and/or choppy half-formed thing that *you* understand, but would sound like nonsense on a page?

Also, the character probably isn’t actually taking as long to think these things as you are reading it. “Character A feels xyz about this” isn’t taking ten seconds to actually happen, feelings coexist with action!

Now, there is a time and place for introspection. It is my personal philosophy to have the amount of introspection reflect the pacing of a scene. Fast battle scenes will be far more action-heavy and introspection-light compared to, say, a calm breakfast.

I think it balances the annoyance over pages of introspection completely breaking the flow of an intense section of the story (at least, from the perspective of the reader), while still maintaining some of that wonderful interiority (which is actually a new word for me, and I adore it).

I’m the first to admit that I am far from an experienced or professional author. I don’t have a professional editor, and my only education is via Highschool and middle school classes (and while I was always in the advanced classes, a few even college level, they were still restricted by being part of the American education system). I definitely can think of times where my grasp on the interiority slipped. Especially when it comes to describing things that wouldn’t necessarily be noticed by the pov character, simply because I as the author do know about it and think it’s funny or important.

I’d imagine a good rule of thumb regarding this would be to treat it like dialogue. People always say to read your dialogue out loud to notice any problems. Well, just act out the scene as though you are the pov character. Not necessarily irl, but in your head. (And maybe even irl if you can manage it, it can’t hurt!) What way are you facing? Would you be able to see that annoying dog? Would you focus on the person you are talking to’s face, or their hands? Is this activity one that you would space out during, or does it require laser focus?

Basically, all the things you would not think about if you imagine the scene like a movie as you are writing.

Picturing the scene as a movie can be helpful, particularly for things like imagery. But it does have its shortcomings, as op said.

It can work thematically for some stories, but when it comes to most writing that is not third person omniscient, it’s definitely something that can cause the reader to feel… distant, I guess. Less immersed.

It’s also something that, sadly, many writers will have to teach themselves and seek out to learn, because, as OP said, it’s becoming harder to find in modern works. This is doubly so do people who mainly read non-published works. I will sing the praises of fanfiction until the day that I die, and maybe even after, but the fact of the matter is that 99% of fanfiction authors are self taught. They may not know how to incorporate interiority. They may not even have ever read a work that had it.

I know a lot of people say that you should read the “classics”, and you may be thinking that could help here, but I for one am a fierce defender of not putting up requirements to be considered a writer, and that includes required reading. Yes it can help you learn skills, but so can more modern works. I learned a lot from reading Percy Jackson, and other lesser known books, and none of them are considered classics on par with The Great Gatsby or Shakespeare.

Instead, I propose this: if you want to get a better grasp on writing with interiority, try actually consciously focusing on your day to day life for a little while every day. Focus on your train of thought, on the things you focus on, on the things you see.

If you want to read something, great! Ask for recommendations, go to your local library and flip through books until you find one you think you will both enjoy and which has a good grasp of the concept.

First and foremost, however, in any writing, is to remember how we as humans actually live and interact with the world, and you’ve got a primary source of research at all times: yourself. Exclusively using other texts as sources will only ever end in a very broken game of telephone.

A lot of fiction these days reads as if—as I saw Peter Raleigh put it the other day, and as I’ve discussed it before—the author is trying to describe a video playing in their mind. Often there is little or no interiority. Scenes play out in “real time” without summary. First-person POV stories describe things the character can’t see, but a distant camera could. There’s an overemphasis on characters’ outfits and facial expressions, including my personal pet peeve: the “reaction shot round-up” in which we get a description of every character’s reaction to something as if a camera was cutting between sitcom actors.

When I talk with other creative writing professors, we all seem to agree that interiority is disappearing. Even in first-person POV stories, younger writers often skip describing their character’s hopes, dreams, fears, thoughts, memories, or reactions. This trend is hardly limited to young writers though. I was speaking to an editor yesterday who agreed interiority has largely vanished from commercial fiction, and I think you increasingly notice its absence even in works shelved as “literary fiction.” When interiority does appear on the page, it is often brief and redundant with the dialogue and action. All of this is a great shame. Interiority is perhaps the prime example of an advantage prose as a medium holds over other artforms.

fascinated by this article, "Turning Off the TV in Your Mind," about the influences of visual narratives on writing prose narratives. i def notice the two things i excerpted above in fanfic, which i guess makes even more sense as most of the fic i read is for tv and film. i will also be thinking about its discussion of time in prose - i think that's something i often struggle with and i will try to be more conscious of the differences between screen and page next time i'm writing.

[neunnnnnnn]

SLEEP PARALYSIS IS YOUR BEST FRIEND+ LONG STORYTIME OF HOW I SHIFTED WITH IT ✨

Okay here me out as someone who has been "traumatised" during sleep paralysis ( I felt a hand go up my legs and I was wearing a night dress mind you) it's not actually as scary as you might think.

Because Sleep paralysis is when a person transitions between sleep stages, particularly from REM (rapid eye movement) sleep, during which the body is naturally paralyzed to prevent acting out dreams, into wakefulness.

It is harmless and I'm sorry to say this but those "shadows" that you see are actually a projection of your subconscious mind. What is it that's actually scaring you?

Is something that you should seek to discover or else you might be stuck and keep on waking up every time you feel an intense symptom or feeling. Journal it or whatever method you use and tell yourself that it's all in your head and that you are more powerful than that and most importantly you are safe.

Storytime

Okay so I was planning on doing an awake method and I decided to lay on my back since I sleep when I'm in a comfortable position. Anyway I got my subliminal and started counting. I counted till 100 then I started affirming I felt the usual symptoms; twitching, feeling really hot etc but then nothing was happening and was starting to get impatient. I told myself lemme just count the last time till 50 then I'll just go to sleep because I was also starting to get sleepy. I started counting then when I reached 15 I felt a pressure on my chest like something was pushing me down like aggressively but I told myself that I'm not going to get scared cause I thought I was shifting so I continued counting. I reached around 35 when my eyes opened on its own , I was so excited but when I looked around I was still in my room and I almost crashed out because I was so done atp 😭✋🏽. I tried to move but I couldn't and I could still hear the subliminal that's when I knew that I had sleep paralysis. Since I've never seen any "demons/shadows" I wasn't scared and I thought lemme try shifting to my Dr but I didn't specify which one and it still pisses me off to this day!!!

Anyway I started affirming that, " I'm in my Dr" over n over when suddenly my legs started floating and my eyes like shut themselves and I couldn't open them I started being scared because wth 😭. Anyway I just kept affirming and then I saw flashlights, it was like there were cameras flashing around my eyes . When suddenly everything stopped and my eyes opened by itself.

I noticed that I was in an all white room with white sheets and there was a woman next to me. I sat up because I was confused on which reality I was in and I looked at the woman and saw that it was Aurora ( the singer, I luv her sm😭) she was seated on the bed and was reading a book , she glanced at me and I immediately asked her which building are we in and she looked at me like I was fucking crazy and started saying that my jokes are turning to be pathetic, like huh?!?😭 Y'all I was so offended I had even forgotten that I had shifted for a second. I just decided not to argue with her and I looked outside the window on my left and it looked like the medieval times? I'm not sure and the buildings were like the old times designed . I looked down at myself and I saw that I was white ( I'm mixed) and that's when I was like, "Did I shift to a reality where I'm a white person?"( Oh and I was wearing a grandma nightdress 😭it was cute tho it was in baby pink) Immediately I stood up wanting to like know where the hell I was but then I couldn't move my legs like I couldn't lift them so I was just awkwardly standing there trying to lift them and Aurora sighed saying " How do you expect to walk after the night you just had?"

WHEN I TELL YOU MY JAW WAS ON THE FUCKING FLOOR I LITERALLY SCREAMED AT HER"WHAT?! " and she told me to shut up 😭. Anyway she said that 'he' told her to come up to check on me because I wasn't waking up!!! I was shocked and I just kept thinking " Did I just get fucked a few hours before I shifted here? What if I had shifted in the middle of it?!" My mind was so chaotic and I couldn't even think of anyone that could have been 'him'

Anyway Aurora came and pushed back on the bed telling me that I have to rest because I haven't really slept much but then I started feeling like my body was being pulled down and I knew that I was shifting back and started pleading to Aurora to help me up because I was not sleepy but she insisted and told me to sleep and that she'll be right back and then I woke up here.

I was in shock for like 5 minutes and I couldn't even leave the bed, I was feeling a little disoriented and nauseous, I also noticed that my body had moved positions to me laying on my side.

Hope this motivates you n that you don't need any genetics to shift that's a load of bullshit🚮, your cat can even shift if it could who knows . And this was to also show you that sleep paralysis isn't scary or bad and can actually be useful. I'm still not sure if you can manifest through it but I'll try next time and see✨.

This is what I Saw one woman wearing, not sure which time period this is.

[aliceinborderlandsquidgame]

Because you are my partner | Jun-ho x Fem!Detective!Reader

Warnings: Takes place after the end of S1 - Some events from S2 - Does not follow canon events in order - Angst - Guns - Unspoked feelings -

The first thing Jun-ho never expected to listen when he woke up at the hospital after being shot by his brother no less were cries and insults.

Insults that were for him.

"You stubborn idiot! Why did you not tell me, why did you go alone, look at you now. Fucker if you dont wake up im killing you myself, you little-"

"I thought you would be more worried" Jun-ho said, voice hoarse since he havent drank any water in a long time. His vision was still a bit blurry, but he could locate your voice anywhere.

"You! YOU ARE ALIVE!!" You revealed your red face from crying and went to hug him, trying not to hurt him. "Never do something like that again"

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○

Time passed, Jun-ho got demoted from detective, even when you, the second best in the division besides him, you had threated to leave as well, but In-ho insisted you not to. He knew how much you had worked for this position, he would not let you fall behind cause of him.

"Its not fair" You said one night at his aparment being a bit drunk "Yeah, what you said its kind of crazy and you have no proof but..."

"(Y/N) stop it, its pointless"

"But you would never make a lie like that. You dont like crime, you hate it. Since your brother went missing...no you would never play with something like that" You said convinced taking a big gulp of your beer.

"I think you had enough beer for tonight" Jun-ho went to take the beer can from you but you held his hand.

"I believe you, I dont care how crazy it sounds I believe you Jun-ho"

Like that, he felt less lonely.

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~

"I think I told you this was not something you should keep doing" Jun-ho told you as you passed iced coffee to his fellow companion and him. "We are not allowed to drink when working..."

"Then take a dam breath, its summer. The streets feels like they are on fire" You told him on a stern tone taking a sip from your own drink

"Should you not be at the sitation?" He asked

"You wont believe how much criminals like to do nothing when its as hot as today. We mostly get calls at night. Nothing like, well nothing like what you are looking for" You added in a quiet voice

"I told you, I left that behind"

"Yeah sure you did, you dont give up that easily, always has been like that. Since we were at the police school. And, you cant lie to me. Im your partner, remember ?"

"Actually-"

"Shut up and drink the dam ice coffee your cheecks are red as a fruit"

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~

One year went on. You were assigned anothet partner but you were being a bit childish and did not like working with him.

It was not his fault, you were just so used to Jun-ho that any other person just felt....wrong.

"(Y/N) you need to stop it" Jun-ho said while you two ate some lunch

"I know, but can you blame me? I cant work well with him, he is too-"

He is not you. Thats what you wanted to say but you had to bite your tongue.

"Is he misstreating you?" Jun-ho asked getting protective, he knew you had pass for hard situations during your training just because you were a women.

He would be on your side during these moments, both when you faked feeling strong and when you needed to vent out and cry.

"No. He is...different. I just need to get used to him"

"It has been almost a year..."

"I know just- give me some more time. Also I want to meet that captain that saved you. Maybe we can go and fish together.

Jun-ho went silent after it. He was reclutant to do so, since he had been looking for the island he was in, but he had told you he had long stopped, he did not want to put you at risk.

"Maybe tomorrow..." He said in a low voice, knowing that you would kept insisting. And maybe he would be able to keep the lie.

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○

Things have been good so far, In-ho managed to convince you to meet him and the captain at a near restaurant.

The three were drinking in just enjoying the time. Sharing stories, jokes, just having a good time.

"Thanks for saving his ass, he can be quiet a pain" You said to the older men who just smiled.

"Dont say it Lass, he still has me looking around for that dam island..."

And the good time shattered, your eyes turned cold as you looked at him.

"Is he? Please tell me more captain"

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○

"You told me you had stopped" You said angry at him. "Told me to stop looking into details at the deparment, do you know how much I did risk!"

"Yes! I know, thats why I told you to stop. I did not want you to put your career in danger"

"When will you understand ? You dont have to do this alone. Im your friend! Fuck we have know each other for years, if I want to help you and put my career at risk, then let me do it. Im an adult I know what im doing.

"No, I could never ask you for something like that. You know the story, these peopel are dangerous and well prepared if something would happen to you..."

"Do you think it was easy? For me? When you dissapear? There was no way on finding you, some told me to move on. But I never stopped beliving in you, knowing that you would not leave like that"

Of course not, I would never leave you.

"Listen, I understand. Really, but you cant stop me. I want to help you, and I will do so. Let me lend you a hand. Maybe this time you will catch them"

Jun-ho was conflicted, he knew having some backup would help him. But he did not want you at risk, why if you ended like him? Trapped there ? Or worse ?

But he also knew you were a hard one. Someone who once they had set their mind on something were not easy to give up. Maybe it would be better that way, making sure on having you at his side while he worked and looked for information.

"Alright, no more secrets. We will work on this together, but if something seems to be just a little bit dangerous you are out"

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~

And like that another year went by. Both looking to find that island and whatever information (Y/N) could get from the station.

"Most are peopel with big debts" Jun-ho said one afternoon, the cold of the winter hitting their noses leaving them red. "Maybe some have criminal record"

"Yeah but their families would have to denounce then as lost. If these peopel just vanish some would think they ran away because of their debts. I will still check on the records..."

Jun-ho nodded grateful to have her working with him.

"You dont remember any name? Or face?" (Y/N) asked him, making him stop. He did remember his brother shooting him but he could never say it out loud. "The players used numbers..." Still him mind was working like he was missing something...

And then it clicked

"Wait...I may know someone"

"Really? You can tell me their name and I will look into it"

"Seong Gi-hun, thats the name"

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○

"Are you sure he is here?" Jun-ho asked a faint blush on his cheecks as both of you looked up from inside the car.

"Yes, I asked a friend from another work to look up, he owns this place and has no direction of a current home. Maybe he manages the place or lives here..."

"Well, last time I saw him he did not look like someone who would manage a love hotel" Jun-ho said, voice trying to hide his nerves.

His mind wondering to things, like you. You two on a date, that would end with something more. He would be a gentlemen during all it. And he would take you to his home and do it on his bed, not a meaningless place like a love hotel.

And he would do that and more because he...

"Hey look!! That one, is not him?" You asked seeing a man getting from a car and going inside the hotel.

"It is. Stay here" Jun-ho ordered but before he could get out from the car you held his arm back.

"What? No!" You said not beliving his words "Im going in with you, we are a team, get it in that tick skull of yours"

"Listen (Y/N) I saw these games, if he is here then its because he won. He murdered peopel. He cant be trusted"

"These are just more reasons for me to go in with you" You declared, "You have my back and I have yours, thats how this relationship works"

Jun-ho looked to the side to hide his blush and recluntantly nodded "Alright..."

Unkown to them Gi-hun had been checking the cameras and had spotted their car. He held his gun not knowing who they were.

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~

Reunions are never easy. Even less when its with peopel you dont trust.

"Who are you? Why are you following me?"

And less when guns are involved.

Maybe Jun-ho had lost his touch, his day giving out speed tickets have passed him consequences. Otherwise he would never have let himself be jumped and have a gun pressed against his head.

"Im a police officer, I just want to talk" Jun-ho said trying to ease the situation but only got Gi-hun to press the gun harder.

"How do I know you are not with them?"

"Cause we have been looking for them too" You said gun raised at Gi-hun who looked suprised for a moment but did not move. "Drop the gun Seong Gi-hun we are aiming for the same goal"

"Yeah? How can I trust any of you? Or what you said?"

"We want to stop the games too" Jun-ho said from beneath him "Thats why we have been following you, you are our only lead"

Slowly Gi-hun removed his gun and let Jun-ho get on his feet.

"I never said a thing about games..."

"Yeah...thats why we have been looking for you. Jun-ho here was in but doing kind of a double agent work. Without help"

Gi-hun had to supress a smile at your stern tone.

"Wait, you are the police who asked me about it. During that time.."

"Im, and this is (Y/N) a fellow police officer and the person I trust the most to end this"

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~

"Train stations? A Man in a suit? Ddakji and getting slapped?" You asked while counting with your fingers the major things Gi-hun and told you and Jun-ho.

He had a big map of the stations with lots of marks and points. He was indeed looking for someone.

"Yes, I know it sounds crazy, but its like that. You get a card with a number, you call it and then you are part of the games" He said serving three coffees "It has been two years and i havent been able to find him"

"Well, now you have two more peopel to count with" You said smiling a bit "We can ignore the criminals that are working for you..."

"(Y/N)...." Jun-ho said but you cut him off.

"What? More peopel means more eyes and less space to cover. Besides its not like we have proof that they do something bad, and you know with. Without proof theres nothing you can do"

Gi-hun had departed both of you. Giving one of his many phone numbers and warning that these peopel were dangerous.

But deep down he was grateful, grateful that there was someone else out here who had seen the same.

"Dont worry, we will catch them" You shaked his hand noticing how he seemed to be sad and stressed, you could only imagine how bad things have been for him.

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~

"What do you think?" Jun-ho asked as he drove back to your aparment.

"I think he is being honest and will accept our help. Besides no one does so much without a reason" You said having take note of his deep search for that man, the multiple guns he had and the cameras around. "He is scared too"

"Well...he does have a reason to be" Jun-ho softly said stopping outside your complex "I never asked you, why help me so much? I know we are friends but this is a big league, worse than any case you had ever seen"

Because I love you. I have been in love with you for so long. I cant seem to live knowing you put your life at risk without any help. I dont want to repeat the time when you vanish and I see my life with you in it-

"Cause you are my partner, and...I care for you" You said and left the car before he could respond to hide your blushing face

"Wait!! (Y/N)" Jun-ho screamed pulling the window down. You stopped looking over your shoulder "I- I care for you too"

He started the car leaving the window down, too nervous, he could track down dangerous criminals and be undercover for the worse criminal gangs, but confessing his feelings to you...

He was not ready, at least not yet.

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○

You went into your aparment, heart beating fast as you went in. The darkness welcomed you, just as you turned for the lights you hear a click.

A gun click.

"Well, you must be (Y/N)...I must admit you are more beautiful than what the photos show"

You turned around one hand ready to go for your own gun. Before you stood a man, tall dark hair, and black eyes, wearing a expensive suit.

"I recommend you to not try anything stupid. I just want to talk. And maybe we can play game"

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○

Final note: *evil laught*

[detectivestucks2]

Toji as an Affair Partner

18+ content, Minors do NOT interact

Pairing: F!Reader x Toji

Warnings: NSFW, cheating, public indecency, bondage, oral (male receiving), aggressive sex, yummy

Word Count: 2.4k

A/N: Okay, so this one I went a bit overboard but, I just see Toji as a huge perv who's also super bold.

Affair Partner Toji who spots you when you’re on a night out with your girl friends. He can’t miss the way you smile. It lights up the room and draws him in like a moth to a flame.

Affair Partner Toji whose eyes drag along your figure, raking over your curves. He finds his lip is caught between his teeth as he imagines the things he would do to you, if given the chance.

Affair Partner Toji who eyes your wedding ring but doesn't care. He loves a married woman. They don't get clingy cause they're always too ashamed to keep talking to him after just one night of erotic fantasies come to life.

Affair Partner Toji who isn't surprised by your rejection cause that’s what they all say. He simply sticks his business card in your cleavage and walks away, muttering a ‘text me when you change your mind.’ knowing full well all you women are the same.

Affair Partner Toji who flusters you with his bold move, leaving a crimson blush across the apples of your cheeks as you avoid eye contact with your friends, all of them slack-jawed as their eyes flash between you and the retreating mountainous figure.

Affair Partner Toji who you text later that night after another fight with your husband. The jerk made fun of your body, again, poking your lower gut and telling you to lay off the calories. You're not even heavy, he just likes to bring you down cause he knows you’re out of his league. Even so, you can't shake the anger you feel and if he doesn’t find you beautiful, you know someone who does. 

Affair Partner Toji who responds immediately, not at all surprised that you reached out. You're predictable, just like the others. He’s fully aware of his appearance and guarantees your husband can't compare. After all, what bored wife wouldn't want a night of sexual adventure with a god?

Affair Partner Toji who gives you very specific instructions for the dress code of your date. Yes, a date. He clearly details what you should wear, something tight that doesn't limit his access, and unless you want to be bare-bottomed in front of the entire restaurant, you will not dare wear a bra.

Affair Partner Toji who you squeezed into a black mini dress for. The front has a plunging neckline, displaying all of your cleavage, rouching along the left side seam and a glittering short skirt that drops a mere two inches below the flesh of your backside. You lie to your husband, telling him that your best friend is having a work event and she invited you to be her date. The man doesn’t suspect a thing, even when he sees you without a bra underneath but, does make sure to get in a dig about your age and the fact that your chest isn’t as perky anymore…as if it’s a crime to be 30.

Affair Partner Toji who sees you pull up in an Uber and rushes to open the door for you, helping you out of the car as his eyes shamelessly explore the nooks and crannies exposed by your dress, drinking in your appearance as if you are a fine wine.

Affair Partner Toji who knows the hostess inside the restaurant, tipping her before she leads you to a back corner table, showing you to a luxurious leather upholstered booth where Toji insists on sitting next to you rather than across from you.

Affair Partner Toji who makes you nervous as his hand immediately grips the inside of your thigh while he orders drinks for the both of you. An act that would normally annoy you but at this moment, your mind is too preoccupied to think straight so you are grateful for his assertive dominance. 

Affair Partner Toji who drapes his humongous arm over your shoulder, his middle finger mindlessly circling your areola, steadily stiffening the nub at its center. 

Affair Partner Toji who makes your breathing shallow without even trying but he can tell something is off so he asks you what’s wrong.

Affair Partner Toji who you confess to that you don’t always feel the prettiest because of the remarks your husband makes about your body. While Toji doesn’t necessarily care about trivial things such as insecurities, or marriage, he does recognize that you gave him an excellent opportunity for a little torment.

Affair Partner Toji who traps your peak through the fabric of your dress, tugging till he sees your face scrunch up in discomfort. “Do you think that I’d be here if you weren’t pretty?” He begins to roll the nub between his pointer and thumb causing you to squirm in your seat. “Do you think I’d be touching your tits if they weren’t perfect?” He punctuates his question with a harsh slap to your chest before recapturing your nipple. “Do you think I give a fuck what your husband believes?” His grip becomes so harsh that you cry out. Wetness between your legs begins to gush out, the intense teasing doing something to you that you just can’t explain.

Affair Partner Toji who didn’t actually bring you here on this date to have a date; he brought you here because he loves the thrill of public foreplay.

Affair Partner Toji who digs in his pocket and pulls out a chain with two clips. Your eyes nervously dart around the room, looking for the wandering glances of nearby strangers. Toji on the other hand pulls out your chest from your dress, one handful at a time, like it’s the most routine thing in the world. You turn to him in panic, pushing his hands away to which he casually grasps your neck applying pressure, your chest bare for the entire room to see. He silences your protest with a small squeeze of warning, his voice rumbling in your ear, “Resist and you’ll pay for it later. Do you understand?” You’re stunned by his audacity but it’s the most exhilarating thing you’ve ever done in your life, made even more exciting by the fact that this man isn't even your husband.

Affair Partner Toji who traps your sore buds in clamps before tucking them away in your dress, making you suddenly very aware of how the fabric rubs against them.

Affair Partner Toji who allows his hand to wander under your sparkling skirt, each touch driving you mad with lust, all of it pooling in the fabric of your thong. “Hands behind your back.” he orders, the tenor of his voice alone, adding to the attraction buzzing between your thighs. You obediently follow, wondering just how far he was going to take things.

Affair Partner Toji whose dexterous fingers slip your panties aside so that they may feel your sopping hole, sinking in to the third knuckle before withdrawing completely and feeding it to you. Your cheeks, already an impossible crimson, spread their flush all the way down your neck and to your sternum as you hollow your cheeks around the digit.

Affair Partner Toji who lightly slaps your face once his fingers are clean thanks to the thorough work of your tongue, before revisiting the paradise under your hem just as your waiter returns with your drinks.

Affair Partner Toji who denies you a sip until you have had your precourse, instructing you to get on your knees under the table and drink from his fountain. “It might take some sucking, Princess, but there’s plenty waiting to satisfy your thirst.”

Affair Partner Toji who has you freeing his sizeable manhood, letting the appendage thud against this pelvis before gripping it in your small hands. In awe, you glide your thumb over the engorged head, slick with pre, before licking your palms and running them up and down his length, the rush of excitement running up his shaft all the more obvious within your grasp.

Affair Partner Toji who has you bobbing up and down beneath the table, taking him down your windpipe like the good little slut he’s forcing you to be. You haven’t done anything like this in so long that you’re both out of practice and out of breath.

Affair Partner Toji whose hand pushes down on the back of your head, forcing all of himself down your throat to silence your slurping noises while the waitress drops off your food. She doesn’t take notice of your empty seat but does give a flirty smile, to which he winks as if you’re not below the table with his dick stuffing your face.

Affair Partner Toji who lets go and allows only a second of reprieve before he’s shoving you down again, ordering you to play with yourself till he cums. Your fingers travel between your legs, circling around your nerve bundle as you take every inch he gives you with your mouth. Your throat flutters with your excitement, each stroke building upon the last.

Affair Partner Toji who all out fucks your face, not caring how loud it is or how obvious he’s being. He chooses this back table for a reason and he’s not going to apologize for his motives. His hot ropes spring into your throat as you twist on the floor, bringing yourself over the edge from the sheer detached abuse. You aren’t a date, you’re a toy, and something about that satiated all the pent-up need that you didn’t realize was collecting in your body for years. 

Affair Partner Toji who looks down at you, viewing your slightly glazed-over eyes and wiping the drool spilling from your lips. “Swallow.” Your throat bobs as you obey. “Now you may come up and join me.” You slide back into the seat of the booth, fixing your hair made messy by Toji’s hands, praying that it’s not too obvious what you just did, however, the pesky chain connecting your breasts is rather obvious through the tight fabric and you long to take it off. “Don’t you dare.” he threatens as he catches your eyes wandering down.

Affair Partner Toji who allows you to finish your meal and orders dessert to-go but as the waitress boxes up the dish and returns with the staggering bill, pulls one last trick from his pocket, cuffing your hands behind your back and hiding the evidence by draping his coat over your shoulders. 

Affair Partner Toji who doesn’t give a fuck that you’re married. He walks you through the restaurant as if he owns you, guiding you to his car where he opens the door and buckles you in. He then pulls down your underwear and pulls out your breasts, clamps and all, for the ride home.

Affair Partner Toji whose member stiffens in his pants when you’re stopped at a red light. The men in the car next to you are staring at your chest through the window, your eyes staring straight ahead in shame. “Let them see, baby. Everyone deserves a peak.” he coos as you look to him with pleading eyes. His thumb casually grazes the sensitive skin causing you to flinch. The men in the car next to you laugh, their own pants tightening at your whorish display.

Affair Partner Toji who finally gets you home, the seams of his pants straining from how hard he is. He rounds the car and opens the door, leaning down to unbuckle you. “Time to open up.” he says, lifting the links between your chest and resting them in your mouth. “Close” he states as you bite down on the silver before he tosses you over his shoulder as like the spoils of war, your underwear slide down to your ankles, caught only by the straps of your heeled shoes. 

Affair Partner Toji who slaps the flesh of your behind on his way to the bed, the excitement overwhelming him. He is sooooo ready to bury himself in your gummy cavern, his member is practically pulsing from the anticipation.

Affair Partner Toji who lays you on the bed, instructing you to let your special little necklace go and use your dirty mouth to wet him. He bullies his way past your lips the second they open, once more cutting off your air supply and making you choke. 

Affair Partner Toji who plunges between your legs, watching how your face morphs into an expression of pure pleasure as your weeping little cunt is stuffed with his size. He begins to lightly stroke, taunting you as he admires how your essence glistens around his shaft. 

Affair Partner Toji who has you squirming beneath him, feeling crazed by his relentless teasing as his languid strokes don’t quite satisfy what you need from him. 

Affair Partner Toji who stills himself, earning a whine from you before he cruelly removes the clamps from your sore buds. The lift in pressure is painful, causing you to constrict around him as you yelp. His pointed tongue drags over the area, so sensitive from the prolonged abuse that your back snaps into a bow while you continue to close in around him.

Affair Partner Toji who is spurred on by how tight you are, clearly underused by your husband. He begins to pound into you with impressive speed as you lay on your back, helplessly restrained, while he steadily folds you in half, more and more.

Affair Partner Toji who flips you onto your knees, your face squishing into the mattress, nearly breaking your neck from the power of his thrusts. While he enjoys playing this little game with women, something about the way you wrap around him feels so good that it makes him painfully hard, even now as he fucks you into the mattress.

Affair Partner Toji whose strength makes for unimaginable stamina, the extreme pace and power of his thrusts continue for a relentless amount of time.

Affair Partner Toji who picks you up like you weigh nothing, and continues to drive in while supporting your entire weight. Your cuffed hands straining against the metal, desperate to steady yourself instead of being tossed around like a ragdoll.

Affair Partner Toji who throws you back on the bed, your ass high in the air as your knees come up to your ears, just to stuff you from above, jackrabbiting into you till your legs shake from compounding orgasms.

Affair Partner Toji who pushes you beyond your limits, overstimulating you and degrading you for being his little nympho, his fingers exploring your sensitive spots, whirling around your clit like it were a joystick, causing you to spasm within his grip.

Affair Partner Toji who lays you back down, his mouth wandering your neck, chest, and ribs, kissing each part of your skin with buttery soft lips that leave tingles in their wake and cause you center to flutter.

Affair Partner Toji who finishes with punctuated thrusts, dizzying your mind and causing you to see stars. Your breathing comes ragged and your cries are loud.

Affair Partner Toji who paints your chest with his spend before dipping his finger in it and feeding it to you for a second time.

Affair Partner Toji who cleans you up and releases your cuffs. He brings the dessert in the to-go container over to you, two forks in hand, so that you may share the treat in bed together.

Affair Partner Toji who pretends to be your Uber driver when he takes you home. He carries you to the door and hands you off to your husband because your legs are rendered useless and you both have to play it off like you got too drunk at the party.

Affair Partner Toji who smiles to himself when he sees that your husband looks nothing like him yet feels a pang of possessive jealousy that he’s never known before.

Affair Partner Toji who was your standard fuck boy but woke up praying you’d messaged him between last night and this morning. Something about you is setting up camp in his mind and he can't shake this feeling that you should belong to him.

Affair Partner Toji who wears a shit-eating grin when he sees that you’re already begging for more.  

Masterlist

[calware]

Do you have any advice on how to write Dirk and Hal or know of anyone I could get tips from :0?

okay so first of all i want to say that i don't think that i'm really an 'authority' on the subject, or that anyone else really can be aside from andrew herself. but i do have some thoughts and opinions that i'm willing to share

#1 piece of advice is to reread the comic once in a while. or at least reread bits and pieces if that's too daunting or not feasible. the POV cam extension is really helpful for that because you can specifically reread just the parts where dirk is there (does not work for hal though iirc which is where the dialogue directory is the next best thing) anyway i suggest doing this because it's always better to have their canon depictions fresh in your mind so you aren't accidentally working off of purely fanon ones

i think this is more of just a writing tip in general but try to think about how much you intend to transform the character. and by that i mean how much you want to stick to canon characterization. no matter how far you go with it, your depiction should always be informed by canon, but you can go as far with it as you want as long as it's intentional. so for example, if you want to stay really close to canon characterization, go for it. but if you want to stick them in an AU, ask yourself how that will change their behavior, personalities, etc. and it you specifically want them to act differently than they do in canon, that's okay too as long as you justify it and make it believable to your reader. you don't have to be afraid of changing them as long as something happened to cause that change

i feel like these are the two biggest pitfalls people fall into, usually a combination of the two. either they just don't understand the character well enough to give a believable portrayal of them, they don't give the audience enough reason to believe their portrayal of them, or both. for example there are a lot of hal fics out there where he is evil and kills people for fun, which to me just tells me that the author didn't really get him. but the takeaway isn't that you should never make hal evil and kill people, just that you need to provide basis for the audience to believe that he would be evil and kill people while still feeling in-character for doing so. that's what i mean by intentionality, you need to understand why you make the artistic choices that you are making

i wrote down some common tropes (?) of hal writing i tend to see that are along the lines of "i see these a lot and they wouldn't be bad if the author just made them feel believable" if that's at all helpful. i can do some for dirk as well if anyone wants me to

3. avoid being reactionary. the homestuck fandom is so reactionary with its portrayal of characters, meaning that one mischaracterization will get popular, and people will complain about it and swing the complete opposite direction, leading to a different mischaracterization becoming popular. an example of this is everyone thinking dirk is the coolest ever, and then switching to think he's the lamest ever. just try to focus on your own perceptions of the characters based on what you read from the comic and what you agree with others on, don't form perceptions based on trying to break away from something else

4. this goes more for dirk than hal because hal isn't as popular, but just keep in mind that dirk isn't the main character. i think a lot of people attribute main character energy to him when they don't really have to. obviously if you write a fic about dirk, he's literally going to be the main character, or if he's your favorite character you're going to care about him more than the others. but that doesn't mean he's any more important, more special, more traumatized, more mentally ill, or what have you, than any other character. going back to the example from above, the people who treat him as both the coolest OR the saddest character are both portraying him as the Special Boy. when the reality is that they are all pretty special and he's not an exception

i hope that all made sense... if not feel free to ask and i can explain further if needed

[screamsilas]

Mil actually posted this. yep you read that right, that's them justifying the actions of a school shooter there

@ii-neg-confessions IS RAGEBAIT! BLOCK AND REPORT THIS IS REALLY FUCKED TO HEAR

also kinda a smaller part 2 to the original post i made just with more screenshots and such

here are some more fucked up things that were said/assumed (PLEASE READ END BIT, ITS IMPORTANT)

more under cut

and this

which theres no evidence to support (CORRECT ME IF IM WRONG WITH SOURCES)

and this

(satomi isnt fired from my knowledge, tengolf has never been a "stalker x victim proship" thats a ridiculous claim to make, and the clock and gaty thing is such a fucking stretch and there are other poc va's on the show that arent in that position thats really weird to assume thats the reason why they were hired. as a trans man ive never heard of or cared about "transface" which isnt a real thing cause gender is subjective and people who believe it exists purely want something to be mad about (a trans character being voiced by a cis va would be "transface" apperantly) itd be different if they were in person actors and not CARTOON VOICE ACTORS but i shouldnt have to say that cause you guys are smart i hope

last thing, this

most of this is completely ridiculous, i shouldnt have to say that forgiveness and positivity isnt a lie, im really confident in the fact that Mil is really misreable and needs some sort of help, cause again you can believe whatever you wanna believe but they are so overwhelmingly negative that it seems theres something going on with them and its kinda sad to see how misreable they are

(should clarify; some stuff like the thing about luigi is true but also why are you spreading politics on a page about a fucking cartoon dude its not that deep never has been)

my goal isnt to support and defend internet celebrities who havent heard my name a day in my life, my goal is to spread the truth and stop the fear mongering going on here twoards anxious people who dont want anything bad to happen/they dont wanna consume "problematic media"

also i think Mil ( @ii-neg-confessions ) is ragebait so block and report them and their main cause they dont deserve a platform if all theyre gonna do is be a negative nancy

okay thats my 2 cents bye ily all take care of yourselves

[ghost-bxrd]

To fuel your JJK and Batfam crossovers, what if Jason became like what Rika is to Yuta to Dick and Bruce. They say Batman got more violent after Robin's death, and while it's true, Jason's the one who is actually almost killing them for trying to hurt Bruce in his eyes. Especially when Bane broke his back, Jason breaks every bone in Bane's body. Blockbuster bombs Dick's apartment, Jason bombs his everything, with a bomb like the one that killed him, and almost rips Catalina to pieces for what she tried to do. When Bruce steps into the JL base after Jason haunts him as a curse, Zatana and Constantine have the same reaction and fear as the second years when they saw Yuta, Raven when she sees Dick with curse!Jason. When Tim and other batfam members join the family, they also get Jason's "curse", with varying reactions. Bruce is horrified that his son would easily kill, but even worse cause it's for him, but can't bring himself to exorcise Jason. Dick as well, buts it's mixed with an awe of how deep Jason loves him. Tim is super happy with having someone who cares about him this much and will stay with him whenever he calls for it, even if the some of the love language is extreme violence towards enemies, and when Jason no diffs the LOA for Damian he feels like a king, gaining the best bodyguard that even Ra's can't harm. Bonus points if Jason appears in his human form to the Batfam unless he's angry, but others can't see him until he attacks so they're near death. And he is monstrousin this form, the same kid who cooks with Alfred in the morning can be a 10 foot tall beast when anyone threatens his family. His curse form looks like how he died, his injuries from the crowbar bleeding on display, but so much bigger with so many eyes and teeth and claws, an explosion happens every time his curse form appears. Anyway curse!Jason AU

I am on my KNEES for this idea holy shit!!!!

Anybody who’s been here long enough for eldritch!Jason and fae!Dick will know how much I love creatures with too many eyes and teeth 👁���

So let’s spin this further!!!! There’s been so many different theories of how Rika came to be and if love could truly be a catalyst for becoming a curse because humanity views love as something sacrosanct.

But the concept of “Love is the most twisted curse of all” is just— so wonderfully applicable for this scenario. Because we’ve got it confirmed time and time again that Jason is the most emotional out of the Bats. And love, in its many forms—a lot of them beautiful—also comes with the duality that can manifest as possessiveness, obsession, jealousy etc. Two sides of the same coin.

Soooooo, fast forward to Jason’s death and transformation into a cursed spirit— let’s have him come to terms with his new existence first. He’ll be scared, full of rage, full of why is this happening to me!?

And maybe for the first few weeks/months he’ll be alone, staying close to his family but trying to get a grip on how and when he appears. Figuring out his existence works, and why explosions seem to suddenly be hard wired into his very being even though, logically, he should be terrified of them.

And!!! The batfam!!!!! Jason’s watching from the sidelines of course, but Bruce operating in Gotham and Dick in Blüdhaven would usually mean that he can’t exist in two places at once. But now that he’s a curse, mere mention of his name is enough to draw Jason’s attention. One second he’ll be watching Bruce bring down a gang in the Bowery, the next he’s blowing Blockbuster and Catalina sky-high. He’s fine tuned into every single bat’s emotional state of being.

And calming him down again??? Hooooo, boy. When curse!Jason falls into a protective frenzy, it has the potential to become bad enough to wipe an entire city off the map, and only the Bats have any hope of calming him down. ((Let’s imagine a ten foot, burned monstrosity being cooed at and skillfully lulled away from the carnage by an exhausted Nightwing asking for cuddles))

(((The Justice League keep urging Bruce to do something about Jason, but all the protectiveness goes both ways: the batfam are NOT losing Jason again.)))

[oli-ribbun-ver]

EP 4 RAMBLE PART 3 FINAL!!

(ft the other episodes! but mainly ep 4!)

okay actually i think this is more of a gangle ramble now but thats fine

part 1

part 2

CONTINUATION OF THE GANGLE PEOPLE-PLEASER PART OF THE RAMBLE FROM PART 2!

lets see... where did i leave off... RIGHT!!

There are a lot of parts in ALL episodes where she doesn't want to cause problems for people. Which is typically normal for everyone, HOWEVER. Her idea of 'causing problems' is her opening up to people about how she truly feels, or even voicing her feelings in general if they're about someone.

I've already gone over the Pomni conversation and the bit where she has a mini breakdown, and I said I'd include even more of the other episodes in this, so! Let's begin at Ep 1!

Let's talk about what I've observed in episode one.

YES THIS IS IMPORTANT.

Notice how it's emphasized she says it quietly? (I know it's for comedic effect, but EVERYTHING seems to be important for every character, like how the darkness from the bucket on Kinger's head in Ep 2 helped him remember something about Ragatha before immediately forgetting it and then the reason he only remembers things in the darkness is explained! Seems like a minor detail that means nothing, turns out to be HUGE.

She doesn't want to cause a problem. In this case, the 'problem' would be her fully interrupting the conversation because she's worried about her friend. In the mind of a people pleaser, even if it helps someone out, you feel a sense of pressure on you when mentioning someone needs help to others, because "What if I cause a problem or make them mad? I don't wanna do that!", those thoughts are pretty normal, ESPECIALLY for people-pleasers.

"Wait, what about Zooble?" Is said so quietly, you can barely hear it. She either doesn't want her voice to be heard, or she DOES but is too scared to say it more loudly because of some version of the thoughts I described.

not as important but I'd like to note how she literally says NOTHING. like. nothing. i just think its kinda funny but also she just. doesnt give her opinion at all? she wasnt even asked if she wanted to go with them to check on kaufmo they just dgaf about her 😭

ANYWAY

This is the only time she gives her opinion and its not even an opinion HELP

Also I'm trying to save space so I don't have to make a part 4 so shortly into this, since I know I'll have to make one anyway, but I wanna mention how she hides behind her broken mask to protect herself after he screams which kinda hits different now that we know more about her mask.

But anyway, I'll make a seperate little portion of this ramble for that!

I'd like to mention too, anytime she is shoved, has something mean said to her, or has her comedy mask broken, she doesn't complain or say anything about it except for maybe an "ow". I find that interesting, because I think the reason for this is that she doesn't want anyone worrying about her. AKA, she doesn't want to cause a 'problem'.

She wants to please. One does not please by being a 'problem', right? That's probably how she thinks, anyway.

When Jax tells her to do something she doesn't want to do, whether he pressured her like that or not, it wouldn't have made a difference, because she can't bring herself to say 'no.'

In my opinion, from what it sounds like when she says "I don't think we—" she probably would've ended up saying yes regardless. Hell, if he'd just followed it up with "do it," I don't see a world in which she wouldn't, although she'd probably be more hesitant.

also why does his back bend like that he looks like hes gonna become an old man any second now HELP 😭

Also, when Jax threatens her by saying "Do it, or I'll tell Ragatha about the figurine thing," I think that really does something to her.

Every time she's either built up the confidence to say no, or someone has tried to help her say no, she's kicked down in one way or another INSTANTLY.

Episode 4 did not help with that. I believe in the next few episodes, she will not be better about saying no. She might even be worse off, knowing Ragatha thinks her being happy is annoying.

People-pleasers are in different worlds. Being the type of people-pleaser Gangle is, it's an entirely different world from others. It carries a lot of what I can only describe as delusion to it.

If Pomni had not stepped up when Gangle thought she was alone after work hours, Gangle would have abstracted. I am a firm believer in that. She was breaking. Losing her mind.

Gangle tells herself to stop trying to achieve her dream while breaking down over the fact her efforts to achieve her dream might not be enough.

So let's go there, and get a

Closer look at Gangle's mental state.

(and why she's most likely the least unwell character)

Gangle is mentally ill. Everyone knows that already, but to what extent?

I'm not sure if we'll ever know.

But what we do know is this.

More likely than not, Gangle almost abstracted in Ep 4. And out of everyone who has EVER vented so far, Gangle has shared relatively nothing. Even after the Spudsy's adventure, what we've seen so far is her never mentioning her feelings except that she feels like she messed everything up.

Gangle doesn't know how to help herself. Zooble can make her feel better, but not for long, because Gangle doesn't think she can get better.

When she was about to vent to Pomni, she stopped as soon as she felt like her feelings were REALLY about to come loose, put her new happy mask back on, said she had no time to talk about her feelings, and fled.

What I think is that Gangle thinks everyone is more important than her, so when she FINALLY got to be important she was happy. Really, truly happy.

The worst thing you can do is make someone think they're not wanted or loved.

Something that makes me sad is that Gangle does not feel wanted or loved.

Gangle was almost gone in Episode 4.

We almost lost Gangle. Had Gangle abstracted, she'd die without ever feeling like people cared about her.

For all we know, she could be the first person to abstract after Kaufmo.

I personally believe that.

The end of Episode 4 was a su¡cide attempt. (is that word allowed? im not sure..l ill censor it anyway)

I saw someone say this in the comment section of either the episode itself or a reaction video, and I completely agree.

They say before people commit su¡cide, they have a sudden boost of joy. Everything will be over soon. Why not enjoy that fact?

I think it was a subconscious su¡cide, at the very least.

She was happy. For the first time without a happy mask to hide how she feels deep down, she was happy.

She had a sudden boost of happiness, and then stepped backwards into oncoming traffic. When someone experiences a near-death situation by their own hand, there's a moment of regret before they are gone. I've experienced it myself, and it is horrid. That feeling is one I will never be able to forget. Even if I never so much as blacked out, I felt faint, and I will NEVER forget that fear, that horror, dread, regret.

The shock. Wondering if it was truly me who did it.

And I think. That is what Gangle experienced.

And then, that feeling was brushed off by Caine, whether she knew he doesn't understand the feeling of wanting to disappear or not, she was quick to blame herself for it all. Both about her performance to Caine, and alone, to nobody but herself.

"I guess I just... cracked under the pressure I suppose."

And maybe, just maybe.

That crack will never heal.

Thank you for listening and reading my ramble, everyone!! I appreciate it more than you know!

Bye bye for now, friends! Have a lovely day!

[glitterguts13]

NATLAN SPOILERS PLS DON'T READ UNTIL YOU FINISH THE 5TH ACT

Here me out on Ororon finding out he's pregnant after Capitano passes and having to give birth with out telling anyone who the father is

pretty please mpreg angst feeds my soul

I haven't been able to stop thinking about this...I'm never going to forgive them for taking Capitano from us.

TW: general angst of dealing with grief

The distant sound of celebration causes Ororon's head to pound. The music had been ringing out for days at this point, warriors and their families shouting thanks and praises, misty-eyed with relief, the war was finally over.

Ororon knows he should be with them, joining in on the cheer and celebrating the end of their long, weary battle. Part of him wants to stand beside the others, partake in a drink or two, and lose himself to the overstimulation of a hard-won victory celebration.

Instead, all he can bring himself to do is huddle further under his blankets, tears soaking his pillow as grief chewed through every fiber of his being.

A knock at his bedroom door,

"Young ones like you shouldn't be wasting their time in bed." Citlali chastises, "Everyone is asking where you are."

He swallows hard, emotion thick in his throat,

"Maybe....tomorrow."

~~~

He ignores it.

As his hands dig into the warm soil, the roiling nausea in his gut grows stronger. It had been weeks since it started, but Ororon stubbornly refused to acknowledge it as anything other than a lingering side effect of his grief.

Chasca hadn't faired much better once the adrenaline of battle had worn off, and the weight of her loss finally began to drag her under. Granny had spoken about how she'd vanished from everyone's sight for weeks before finally turning back up, red-eyed and much thinner than when she'd disappeared.

Its no different for him, except, his battle was private, and no one knew just how deep the cut had run.

Tossing his soiled clothing aside, and letting the water run down his aching body, Ororon closes his eyes.

Perhaps he was going mad.

The phantom feeling of Capitano's large hands trailing down his chest, over his thighs and belly, the weight of his body pressed against his back...

Ororon stumbles forward, barely able to grab hold of the sink before his stomach turns and the measly breakfast he'd managed splatters against the porcelain.

He shutters, feeling too cold for the Nataln heat, and stands up, wiping the back of his hand over his mouth.

His eyes lock onto his reflection, and that chill grows stronger as one hand slides up slowly from his side before his fingertips graze over the gentle swell starting to form under his navel.

Granny wouldn't be by that day, and Ororon is grateful for that, or else the scream he lets out would have shattered her peaceful view of her odd, but quiet grandson.

~~~

Everyone knows, but no one says a word aside from Citlali.

The months ticked by, and his belly continued to grow until it sat round and heavy against his slender frame. People stare, and he knows there's rumors being whispered when he's out of earshot, everyone quietly assuming the father must have died in the war, but how had no one known there was someone?

The midwife doesn't seem to care, offhandily remarking that the father must have been a large warrior, as Ororon's middle was already pushing full term at only seven months in.

Granny was furious, raging about how irresponsible he'd been, how foolish it was to risk a pregnancy during a war, how could he not have said something? Why hadn't he told her? Why wasn't he telling her more? Was the father so shameful, Ororon didn't want to claim their heritage?

A crib and a barrage of other newborn items had shown up on his doorstep days later, though she insists they weren't from her.

~~~

The stars are glittering in the sky, a peaceful calm settled over the land, while Ororon sobbed inside the side of his bed. A mess of blankets are thrown haphazardly over the floor, his nude frame glistening with sweat as his belly tightens like a drum.

Labor had started nearly a full day before, and Ororon is left cursing Capitano for putting such a stubborn child into his womb and having the gall to leave him.

It wasn't fair.

Why him?

Why was he left alone, carrying a child that would never be able to know just how wonderful a man their father was?

Ororon sobs, gripping the sheets as he deepens his squat, his waters bursting as the baby gives a particularly harsh kick.

Would Capitano even have wanted this?

Would he have hated him?

Would he have been happy?

Would they have been a family?

His belly quivers, another contraction finally forcing his stubborn child into crowning. The burn is instant, unlike anything he'd ever felt before, and he screams.

One hand reaches down, gasping for air as their head begins to bulge. He can't see them over the crest of his heaving middle, but his fingers gently trace the shape of their eyes, nose and finally, he feels their head pop free.

Blood and fluid trickle onto the blankets, one last desperate push sending his child tumbling into his waiting hands.

The midwife was right, the child is large, all chubby cheeks and hearty squawls as Ororon brings them to his chest. They flail for a moment before settling, snuffling and whimpering as Ororon all but falls to the ground, careful to keep them safe.

"My baby...my son." Ororon can hardly see them in the dark and through his tears, but his little boy has a mess of dark hair, and a delicate pair of ears matching his own.

"My baby boy..." he cuddles them tight, breaking down.

[muntitled]

Girl On TV

Pairings: Namgyu x Fem!Reader

Summary: After being humiliated by his not-so-innocent friends for being far too innocent, you decide not to be such a prude for once in your life

Warnings: Language, Substance Abuse, Toxic Relationship, Male Manipulation, Coercion, Peer Pressure, Drug Use, Smut (+18) mdni, Degradation Kink, Praise Kink, Sadism, Sadomasocism, Grinding, Porn, Corruption Kink, Pillow Humping, Mutual Masterbation

A/n: I love being a problematic Namgyu stan

You hadn't known it would come down to this.

Had you been told before you would be dragged to sit on his lap under the dim lights of Club Pentagon and made to see this... you might not even have some at all.

Perhaps if he had invited you under the guise of distracting you from academics for one Friday night, you might've been more open.

Less of a prude.

But you had never seen such a clean line of powder stretched across the table in your life. In fact your body burns with not only embarrassment at being in the proximity of such hardcore drugs, but your bones were also set alight in fear.

The arms that have been cradling your waist pulls you in tighter, making you feel smaller than you actually were on his lap. This is what you loved about him. He liked you. Your curves. Your face. Your everything.

You could stick this out, couldn't you?

You should.

"Woah," He calmly whispers into your ear. All at once, every morsel of discomfort is driven out by your overwhelming need to please him.

The club is dark.

The music is good.

Namgyu's pulled you onto his lap in front of an embarrassingly large group of strangers. Everything is perfect.

"What's wrong?" He's so attentiative, bending his head down to whispers conspiratorially into your hair. His voice drowns out the oppressive rap song being performed on the center stage on the ground floor of the club and for all of five minutes its just you and him and the cocaine. Buy mainly, just him.

"You're strung up." He whispers.

You're quiet for a few tense minutes, wondering if you should voice your concerns and risk having him disappointed in you for not having fun like he intended.

"I don't know if I'm too comfortable."

"Here?" You hear him whisper, slightly poking his head forward to nudge his nose into the back of your neck, "With me?" He's using that petulant almost needy voice of his when he's inebriated and it tugs at something deeply troubled inside you.

"Not with you," you reassure him, "With that-" you nudge your head forward slightly, leading his half-lidded eyes to the long stripe of cocaine marring the table. "And your friends," you reluctantly murmur, letting yourself sink against him as if he had the power to scare these drunken people away. As if he wasn't forcing you here, amongst them at all.

"You know Thanos is a big name in the club scene-" He begins and you cut him off by sighing very loudly as you resch forward to grab your glass of water off the small, reflective table.

Thoroughly annoyed because he's sung this song before.

"I know, Namgyu but-"

His fingers weave into themselves around your waist, securing you against him like a baby, "Just be cool for like 40 minutes- maybe and hour-"

Your blood pressure skyrocketed as you turned back to shoot him, not only a look of immense incredulousness but betrayal.

"Namgyu, you said you wanted to take me out- yeah? Not your friends-”

"-Then we can get out of here, and I'll give you all the kisses you want."

You sigh heavily once more. “You didn't say anything about-"

He loosens his grip from your waist before standing up, forcing you to stand up in the process.

"He's coming," he whispers, keeping his eye off into the distance. His attention is much not on you and your present moral struggles.

"This is work, baby, you know this-"

"Namgyu- I have a test on-"

He pinches your side as a new guest enters the section. "Shh." Namgyu whispers at the same time the guest's boisterous hollers cause you to quite literally flinch.

"Yo, Namsu!" He's dripping in gold chains and purple hair. "Who is this fine Senorita you've brought with you?" He asks despite having two women under his arm. "You trying to outdo me bro?" Thanos takes a seat directly beside you and Your boyfriend.

"This is my girl-" He says at the same time Namgyu pulls you back onto his lap.

"It's Nam-Gyu-" you say through gritted teeth. "Not Nam-Su." Your eyes are narrowed at the man who only listens and smiles.

"Is this dire cracker partaking with us?" He asks your boyfriend, despite looking right at you. “Or is she a snitch.”

You glare daggers at the man before your boyfriend taps you slightly. “I have water-"

The girl under Thanos' arm snickers. "Water?"

You once again, tried to crawl further into Namgyu's lap.

He, thankfully tightened his grip around your waist, never letting you go as he conversed in inebriated chatter with Thanos. The more drugs they consumed the louder they got, until Namgyu started flailing his right arm wildly while he told a story, still having somewhat enough sense to keep a languid grip on your waist.

Somewhere, amongst all the useless chatter, you decided to add in your two cents, snickering quietly to yourself as you mumbled over the rim of your glass, "I've actually never watched porn before-"

"What do you mean you've never watched porn before?" Your eyes widen when you realize you'd spoken louder than you intended to and one of Thanos' girls snicker loudly. The sound carries across the table to his degenerate friends and their girlfriend's and causes a whole new wave of laughter to be birthed from your embarrassment.

You begin to squirm in Namgyu's lap.

Despite the drugs and the loud music, the two of you were having such a nice evening... You never fancied partying much and yet, your boyfriend had to sink his claws into you to get you to agree to one night of partying. The consequences of that decision are playing out in front of you.

"You've been banging a virgin this entire time?" Thanos asks Namgyu the same time and nameless girl says-

"Even I've watched porn."

Despite the anxiety flooding your veins at being the center of unwanted attention, Namgyu's grip around your waist is firm. It keeps you grounded. It tightens around you now, nudging you against him like his nose at the nape of your neck.

"Have I?" Namgyu asks with his eyes as hazy as the city caught in dusk. There isn't alcohol on his breath, only a light dust of snow under his nose.

"Have you what?" You ask, staring down at your trembling hands.

"Been dealing with a virgin?" He asks, unraveling your very private life to a room full of strangers. He's high. And incredibly loose with his mouth. You have to find it in you to take his inebriation into account but you only feel annoyed.

“Is that why you don't do drugs with me?"

"I don't do drugs with you because I actually value my health-"

"Sick burn," Thanos snorts in his little corner.

Your eyes widen. Your throat tightens.

These aren't your people.

Your people are nestled in the university library, cramming one final time before their semester tests.

Yet here you were, caught under a thick cloud of smoke that had your throat burning, all for a boy.

And admittedly priceless one.

"Don't be an asshole." You turn to glare daggers at him.

"Don't be a prude-" he replies back. A few locks of hair fall from behind his ear as he watches you with a darkened gaze. "Is that why we haven't had sex yet?" Your heart plummets, "cus you're a virgin?” Namgyu asks. You don't know which side he's on.

"Woah!? A virgin in the flesh-" Thanos hollers, staring at you like a specimen in a petri dish. He nudges the girl under his arm, "I'd cheat on you if you ever tried that shit with me.”

"I know!" The girl responds before turning to look at you with dazed, dilated pupils. "Aren't you scared he's gonna do something if you wait too long?"

These aren't your people.

"If Namgyu wants to sleep with someone then by all means-"

You wrestle out of his iron grip, thanking God for the water that's keeping you sober and steady on your feet.

"Ooh, spicy, spicy-" Thanos mumbles

"Can I go please?" Namgyu keeps his hand in yours, looking up at you with a deadly glare.

"Nah, you leave when I leave, I'm still working-"

You pull your hand out of his.

"I have a test on Tuesday. Goodnight.

Its not like you thought he would follow you. Namgyu was especially selfish, as was the case for most addicts. Right now, you imagine him snapping out of his daze, leaning back over that table, tucking his hair behind his ears as he snorted up whatever Thanos wanted him to.

You didn't think you were being followed and so you feel thoroughly and completely alone once you get to your apartment.

Despite being completely alone this evening, you still try to hide what you're watching on your phone. Your headsets are pulled over your ears, your head reclined against the arm of the couch while your blankie was pulled over your supine frame. You hadn't exactly planned on watching porn this evening but the group's bullying had left you curious.

The girl projected on your phone screen looks up at the actor about to rail her insides. "You've been a bad girl,"

You roll your eyes into the back of your skull. This was precisely why you refrained from mainstream porn. Some of the best stuff was either in your audio files or in your reading list. Visual porn never did much for you- until you scrolled a little too far down to a new, more promising video.

The actress has a crimson handprint on her ass, as her dom forces her to ride her pillow. Despite the difference in skin tone and the overall mediocre acting, you were having a considerable amount of fun imagining yourself in her place. You thought about an invisible collar clamped around your throat with a big, strong, domineering man loomed above you, forcing you to push your clit right up against-

The more you slipped into a pleasure filled haze. You watch with bated breath.

"Sh-it-" you nearly fall off the couch. Your phone plops out of your slippery hands, right onto your face and your headphones slide off. Standing above you, is Namgyu, trying to fight a grin off his face as he stares down at you. You look up at him with wide, frightened eyes.

"Wh-when did you get back home?" the words barely leave your mouth before Namgyu's grabbing your phone.

"Naughty, naughty girl," He doesn't seem surprised to see the contents on your screen. In fact, the only giveaway that he saw anything at all is the slight flicker his eyes make towards you, before he stares back down at the phone.

"H-How was 'work'?" You're desperately trying to steer your attention away from the blatant porn on your phone screen, away from the smirk on his face as he bites his lips, away from his exposed tattoos in his short sleeve shirt.

"Work was work." He replied, still watching the porn, "I'm high as shit." He says casually as he disappears into the bedroom, your phone still in his hand.

"Hard too." He says when he returns. Your phone clutched in one hand and the large teddy bear he bought you for your 21st clutched in the other hand. You furrow your brows up at him, confused when he takes a seat on the couch. Your feet against his thigh as he clicks a few buttons on your phone before seating the giant teddy bear beside him.

He grabs the remote before pressing a few buttons.

You freeze when you hear the moans first.

Your gaze catches the TV.

There, the girl from your screen rides her pillow and you're forced to watch.

You're almost too embarrassed to feel turned on. Ungluing your eyes from the TV, you instead watch your hands in your lap.

He places a hand under your chin, forcing you to look up at him. He's sitting comfortably on his side, remarkably unfazed by the girl's pornographic moans.

"Fuck the bear." Is all he says, as he leans against his arm and he strokes your chin. Petting you.

"Wha-"

"You gonna make me ask again?"

It's something in his tone and his hazy, half-lidded gaze that kickstarts your senses as you languidly stand on your feet. You're trembling and he reaches out to interlock your hands in his. Namgyu loved how eager yet innocent you are for him. He can see in the clumsiness of your movements that you were already slipping into subspace. With trembling fingers, you reach up to the thin straps of your pyjama dress and he nods his head.

"Should I take off my panties too?" Your voice is small.

Namgyu tilts his head. "You even have to ask?"

Behind you, the girl's breathing doubles and her moans increase.

"Better hurry or she's gonna cum." He taunts, watching like a stone statue as you mount the bear seated beside him. Namgyu's breathing catches as you straddle the bear, your movements tense and uncertain.

"Fuck the bear-" you lower your cunt onto the fur material and you moan, having not realized how wet you'd actually been this entire evening.

"That's it- fuck." He spreads his legs, leaning back more as he lets his hand brush over the tent in his jeans.

You don't moan because it feels good. It doesn't. Not immediately at least. You moan because Namgyu is watching. Reclined against the couch as his eyes stay on you.

"Ride the plushie like the girl in the video." He says. Your throat dries when he continues to languidly stroke his hand over the bulge in his sweatpants.

"Fuck- Gyu," he knew when the nickname fell from your lips that you were done for.

You both were.

Your eyes steadily roll to the back of your head as you grind your pussy against the bear, already creating a wet spot.

Behind you, you heard the girl moan and whine and somehow that spurrs you on.

"So fucking needy-” you gasp when you feel a hand cupping your exposed breasts. Namgyu reaches over to tweak your nipples just as his other hand finally slips inside his pants.

"Crane your fucking neck back. Try to watch the slut make herself cum." When you do, your hips stutter hard and your clit twitches.

"You watch her." Namgyu commands, stroking his exposed cock, "I'd rather watch you."

As you watch, his mouth runs. Namgyu swore a lot but it doubled when he caught himself in the throes of arousal.

“You look just like that bitch, you know that?”

Your mouth snaps open as you watch her. Your expression is pained.

“You want everyone to think you're such a quiet little girl but your just a slut, yeah?” He speaks lpuder, “Just my fucking slut- fuck.” It nearly causes you to cum everywhere. Her hand is pushing down on the face of the poor, poor pillow as she rides it. You can tell she's close.

Unable to look any longer, you turn back. Your hazy eyes meets Namgyu's dilated ones. He's stroking his cock, head thrown back against the back of the couch, mouth slightly ajar. His cock is throbbing in his hand and he squeezes, showing you the precum sliding down the length.

"Gyu, please-" you grinded harder against the plushy and Namgyu picked up the pace.

"You imagining me fucking you, huh?" He throws his head back, closing, his eyes momentarily close as his cock twitches in his hand.

"Fuck- I-" your clit was rubbing against the plushie just right. Namgyu's fingers mercilessly squeezing your nipples have you seeing stars. This friction was enough.

Fuck.

Air could be enough to let you come in this moment. All you had to do was buck your hips a little more- but the pain blooming across your breasts were distracting you from cumming.

"Please-" your whole body was trembling- "It fucking hurts!"

His mouth falls open at that, before leaning his head against the couch. He squeezes the base of his cock and you watch the precum slide down its length.

"Fuck, say that again-" he brings his head back before stroking his cock faster. "Fuck the plushie, baby," His hips move up from the couch to meet his hand. "Tell me it hurts again-"

He sits up to tweak your nipples again and you whine. "H-Hurts so bad-"

"Yeah, Princess, just like that," he groans, throwing his head back, "Such a stupid fucking slut-" he admits, voice groggy.

Somehow that final degradation has your hips twitching as your clit spasms and you slip into the stars.

The second you cum, Namgyu does too. Cursing and mumrering a quiet and slightly broken, "Fuck- such s-slut-" before reaching over to grab a fistfull of your braids. Your hips are still writhing, your eyes as blank as a corpse as he pulls you forward to spray his cum all over your face.

He squeezes his cock, unable to keep his pretty eyes shut as he watches you writhe and moan. "Fuck me-" he sighs.

"Don't watch this shit again." He says, huffing and puffing. "It's bad for you."

In a second, he presses a button on the remote and the TV screen is black.

"If you need dick, come to me."

"You were making f-fun of me," you grumble under your breath, and you sigh heavily.

Your eyes are shut but you can feel him playing with his cum on your face.

"I wasn't making fun of you. I was just surprised. You're surprising." There's a thick layer of emotion in his voice. It has your body wracking with aftershocks. "You're not like anything I've ever experienced."

[fruitsofhell]

I am amazed by so much about Hazbin Hotel now that I'm finally, FINALLY watching it. There's so much to comment on but I have GOT to get this out of the way that has been distracting me going into the final episode. I need you to know that I'm like grimacing in a mix of pain and amusement rn. I feel like a teacher about to tell a student their essay earned the most entertaining F I've ever seen.

I want to do a little case study in Vivziepop's design ethos in the Cannibal Town bit y'know. I don't have the steam to write a full essay right here but I will try to get into this and how it relates to something that so fascinates me about her art. I was a fan of Vivziepop back in like 2014 when she first gained some notoriety in the animation community from her Die Young short and I watched nearly every piece of her old art content where she expressed her character designs and story ideas. I was really invested in them when I was younger, I thought and still do think her designs and ideas are very evocative in a good way, but which have slowly unraveled with time and scrutiny in all respects.

In her show... there's a district in hell run by cannibals, and the WHOLE gag of them is that instead of being your usual sort of racist stereotype they're a kitschy little victorian looking district who still sing about loving consuming flesh and blood and all that. See, this was evocative IN 2014, but it's not 2014. Which is not really interesting to say in itself because the show is utterly drowning in early 2010s Hot Topic-ass design sensibilities that I will probably talk about some other time, what I'm really getting at is the hypothetical thought process behind this.

Vivzie is a lover of all things impish and vintage, so of course in hell she thinks there should be a place full of cannibals who go beyond the usual stereotypes. And in her mind she's imagining how evocative the idea of smiling genteel demons running around eating human fingers is and goes with it. And a plus for her, it skirts around the racialized baggage attached to the taboo of cannibalism, maybe she even thinks its anti-racist to spin things like this. But like. It really really just stops there.

Hazbin Hotel wants to use its framing of heaven and hell to make a social commentary on morality obviously, and in the way its doing it it also is creating a sort of statement on class. There is this idea of moral meritocracy that angels are exploiting to keep themselves and those humans they like above those they dislike for arbitrary reasons, and just in the language - written and visual - of how heaven and hell are distinguished you see this slums vs metropolis thing going on. But I mean, someone else can probably tell you about how busted it is so I won't get into it, I'll just say that comparing hell to any sort of metaphor for a ghetto where disadvantaged and flawed people are grouped together unsafely looks bad for Vivzie lol.

This is where I come back to Cannibal Town which is so so so SO obviously a chance to make the most blunt-obvious social commentary on human exploitation that Vivzie just DOESN'T cause she finds people in victorian pristine garb talking about eating flesh funny and that is the full extent of her conversation on these ideas together. There's really really nothing else it seems that Vivziepop feels like saying about a kitschy upper-middle class town of people who eat other people other than isnt it funny when upper-middle class people want to eat others. And it does boggle my mind when so much other talk of exploitation, abuse, and class stratification is so laid bare on the table of this show.

In design and narrative this show really likes to touch on these deep but kinda basic tenets of social commentary but keeps doing the 2014 Hot Topic reversal of motifs and then just leaves that there like its something in itself. MMMaybe we could be doing more to say something about how when a bunch of people are arbitrarily thrown together in a lawless area under very broad assumption of moral degeneracy some seek to wield powers over others by reinforcing their simultaneous dehumanization. And how then those slumlords try to sell scraps of privilege to enrich themselves and stuff and how bad that is.

Like we kinda do sometimes, but then you have Cannibal Town which could have so fucking obviously been about liiiike??? IDK, the overlord of the area is someone who takes peoples souls and then gives them an insatiable urge to consume both physically and material goods that is symbolized through cannibalism and exploitation of other demons so that they are further reliant on the overlord??? ANd they all sit in their little village thinking theyre above others because they keep everything so orderly only by running themselves on the exploitation and consumption of other human resources. I don't even fucking know man but I just know that the Cannibal Town in the show is nothing but a joke and wank session for Vivziepop's historical fashion fetish and it drives me up the wall.

I want to be really invested in the politics of this world but this Vivziepop motherfucker just wants to create things like the town of white middle-class victorian cannibals for the lolz.

[imaginesig]

Today, Tomorrow, Forever

SMAU with writing

Nicholas Hoult x Reader

Yn and Nicholas Hoult have known each other since their Skins days, but it wasn't love at first sight. How did they go from a one sides rivalry to dream marriage in 17 years?

Movie release dates/years have been edited for the sake of the story!

Idea sent by @ateliefloresdaprimavera

2024

nicholashout with ynhoult

liked by user12, aarontaylorjohnson, ellefanning, and 902,104 others

nicholashoult 17 years ago made the worst mistake of my life, 11 years ago I had the best conversation ever, and 6 years ago I married the love of my life. I never imagined that one person could be the reason my world turns, but here she is. Happy anniversary my love 🤍

tagged no one

aarontaylorjohnson happy anniversary!!

elliefanning best couple ever!!

hughgrant happy anniversary! I'm so happy to have met little you and watched as you've grown into an amazing man

scarlettjohansen beautiful!!

sebastianstan 6 years is no small accomplishment, I hope its a good ones guys!

mikebailey here from the start!!

joedempsie so happy for you guys, happy anniversary!

aprilpearson most beautiful bride ever!!

user1 they're the only couple ever

user2 stop the way he looks at her 😭🤭

user3 its the fact he still looks at her the same now as in that photo

user4 Nick putting Yn first in his own post is the most Nick thing he's ever done

user5 Yn is everything and he's just Ken

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2007

N.H.

A laugh rang loud and clear across the busy set. My ears perked up at it and my eyes immediately rolled. There is only on person who has a laugh like that, a laugh that carries through the air with an annoying volume: Yn Ln. I glance towards the noise and notice a small gathering; April, Mitch, and Mike stand around with her laughing at something. Yn looks proud, so it must've been her joke.

"Oi! Nick come join us!" Mitch calls to me.

"I'm good mate, there's some lines I was hoping to review before we start filming again!" It was a lie. There were no lines, I reviewed everything exhaustively yesterday, a bunch of 'Michelle I'm sorry this' and 'Sid get laid' that. I just can't go over there. I can't imagine anything more dull than flocking around Yn and listen to whatever nonsense she spews into conversation.

"Alright we're going to pick up at scene 6. It's our last of the day so let's make it good!" Calls our director. We all fall into place, April by my side, and the others in a semicircle.

"After we're done for the day we should try that place for dinner," she says to Yn.

"Oh yes!" replies Yn with a cheery smiles. I can't help but scoff under my breath.

Y.L.

Across our fake circe, over the chatter of set I hear Nicholas scoff. It stung somewhere deep in my chest and tripped up my good mood.

I was over the moon to book this gig. Like almost every actor here, Skins was my start; from here I'd book more and more until I've reached the stars. My character was an awkward, ugly duckling but she was mine and I love her. This experience has been the best things thats happened to me ever; I've made so many great friends. There is only one problem: Nicholas Hoult. He's a phenomenal actor and a wonderful guy to everyone but me.

I can't recall what I've done over the past months to make him dislike me; at our first read throughs we were cordial and made wonderful small talk, but as filming progressed he distances himself and always has a noise or eye roll to accompany my words. The worst part was he's cute and seeing how hardworking he is around set doesn't help the school girl crush I have for him. And the nail on the coffin? He's a gentleman and so kind to everyone else, just not me. I'm a lucky girl, I suppose; you can't please everyone, so having 7/8 actors be my friends was fine by me. Plus his negatively was only ever a stumble in the road, not a ruin to my day.

Twitter--

2024

Youtube--

comments:

user1 he's so whipped, like Yn did not need to be mentioned for The Menu quote but she was

user2 no cause why did he go on longer about her and the Skins quote than any other line

user3 I'm crying why does he remember the entire Skins line off the top of his head

user4 get yourself a man that talks good about you even when you're not there

user5 the smile he had when talking about Yn makes me wanna cry

user6 he is so in love

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2008

Y.L.

"Cheers!" A round of glasses clinking filled my ears. The core cast got together to celebrate the wrap of season 2 for Skins; we were currently tucked away in the back of some local restaurant in Bristol. I was sat at the end of the table, with Mitch on my right and Dev on my left; everyone was joking and sharing stories, it seemed every member at the table was holding at least 3 conversations. As Cassie would say, it was lovely. The warm lights reflected off of the wooden table and casted a gentle glow on everyone, including Nicholas at the other end of the table. We made eye contact as the table erupted into a roar at something Kaya said; I felt my cheeks burn with the stretch of my smile, but Nicholas's quickly turned from a bright laugh to a tight lipped smile. I rolled by eyes and chose to ignore him; I've let go any wish I had to understand his dislike of me.

I tore my eyes away from Nicholas's direction and looked around, my heart grew heavy. I am so glad we are all geared up to start new projects, but I'm so sad to see everyone separate. I hope we'd all be able to keep in touch. The conversations slowed down so I grabbed my almost empty glass and tapped on it, "Not to make this a cheesy movie moment, but I wanted to let you all know how grateful I am for Skins. Not only has this shown given us a jumping point, but its connected us all..."

N.H.

"...connected us all..." there she bloody goes, killing the mood with some dumb speech. Yn's words soon sounded like the parents from Charlie Brown. Yet, I looked forward to pretend to listen. This is the first time I've really looked at her out of character. I've gotten used to her brush out curls that would frizz out in the English humidity and the hideous fake glasses they'd put on her. All apart of the ugly duckling role she plays. Off set she looks fine, I wouldn't say anything special.

I look down and watch the condensation drip down my glass and onto the table; as the droplets raced I couldn't help but wish Yn was just a little funnier and more interesting.

2024

Youtube--

comments:

user1 they def went home and screwed after this

user2 I felt like I was interrupting something

user3 imagine having to be apart of the crew to film this

user4 Yn was way to excited there's no way Nicholas isn't getting slapped in bed at some point

user5 its the way he gave his answer away with the ask me off camera

user6 also Yn calling Nicholas instead of Nick when she asked 😭 girlie knows how to get what she wants

user7 they're both so possessive but polite

user8 I've never seen a celebrity be so comfortable and laugh (enjoyable not uncomfortable) at these, I love it

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2010

Twitter--

2011

Twitter--

2013

Twitter--

N.H.

My bed felt softer and fluffier than a cloud when I flopped into in face first. It had been a long few months; Warm Bodies finished it wrap, I went straight into auditioning for new projects, and before I could blink I was swept up into press for the movie. I'm living the dream, but sometimes I just want everything to slow down.

My eyes just fluttered closed when my phone let out rapid buzzes, one at a time. I sighed in relief when it went silent, but was quickly disappointed when it started again. I rolled over to retrieve it from the bed beside me. Messages from the old skins group chat filled my lock screen; we made it after a meet up a couple years ago, but it was only ever active on someone's birthday, that was until today. The messages informed me that our old show was trending on twitter with fans pulling old photos, clips, and interviews from our time. I smiled and replied quickly before loading up the app for a quick trip down memory lane.

...

My room slowly grew darker as hours passed. Hours have passed as I went down the rabbit hole of Twitter reminiscing; at some point I ended up clicking on different links to interviews the cast has done. The current one was Yn answering a question that I can't remember. A pit formed in my stomach, she was beautiful inside and out. Every interview I saw her in, she had nothing but praises for everyone else and took every compliment with such humility. I was in awe of her answers, despite being formed on the spot came out with the poise of a well rehearsed speech. I made a horrible misjudgment.

"Whose do I most admire of the cast? I'd have to say Nick," the guilt in my chest grew, "he's so talented that you'd think he was a pure asshole if you only watch the show. We're not the closest, but I've seen from being around him he is an absolute sweetheart. That's what makes him admirable, his absolute kick ass work as Tony while being a fantastic cast mate."

I wished she was lying, but I can tell it's all genuine. I spent those years annoyed by her and mentally tearing down this girl, but she wasn't a girl. Yn was a poised young women who was down to Earth and spent her time raising people up. She was right we weren't close, because of me, but she still through so highly of me. I wanted to hit myself, she could've been an amazing friend and I was too dumb to let go of stupid stereotypes from a fictional show to see it.

I turned my phone off and rolled over. Tonight, I fell asleep with the beautiful sound of Yn laughing in my ears.

2024

Twitter--

2013

N.H.

It was warm inside the event hall; I was currently sitting at my assigned table at the EBA Awards. I was nominated for my role as R in Warm Bodies, but seeing as I wasn't a huge name I was at the beginning of the carpet. I looked around to see other people mingling to pass the time as everyone makes their way in, but no one stood out so I stayed seated. Somewhere in the distance I heard a loud laugh; it was eerily familiar and certainly beautiful but I couldn't seem to place it. I pulled out my phone someone stopped near the table causing me to look up.

A breath got stuck in my throat as Yn Ln stood in front of me looking like a picture of perfection,"hey Nicholas! I saw you and wanted to catch up..."

Instagram--

celeb_updates

liked by user4, user1, user83, and 892,820 others

celeb_updates just days after the EBA Awards, former cast mates Yn Ln and Nicholas Hoult were seen on a supposed date! It's the first time they've been seen together/publicly interacted since the last Skins event they attended in 2008

tagged: no one

user1 omg the bad boy and good girl??

user2 we used to pray for days like these

user3 I'm thrilled with the idea of them just being friends much less ON A DATE

user4 OMG GUYS I THOUGHT I WAS CRAZY! I was hoping we'd get some content with them both attending the EBAs!!

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2017

Marie Antoinette (directed by Sofia Coppola) Premiere

X-Men: Dark Pheonix (directed by Simon Kinberg) Premiere

Instagram--

ynln

liked by user1, aprilpearson, ajcook, and 892,203 others

ynln secrets out 💍

tagged nicholashoult

nicholashoult I love you so much 🩵

ynln right back at ya 🩵

ajcook so excited!!

aprilpearson the scream I let out-- congrats guys!!

mitchhewer never saw it coming but you two work so well together!

user1 omg omg omg omg

user2 that first photo is giving total romcom vibes

user3 right?? I love the shot through the window

user4 part of me is so so excited, but another part just died because wdym Tony fell for C/N??

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2018

Instagram--

ynhoult

liked by mitchhewer, nicholashoult, larissawilson, and 928,029 others

ynhoult allow me to reintroduce myself...

tagged: nicholashoult

aarontaylorjohnson absolutely stunning bride!! Here's to a long, wonderful marriage

larrisaawilson party like no other! Many congrats

aprilpearson what a night!!! Love you both

user1 im actually crying

user2 ok my turn now...

user3 their personal cake is too cute

user4 the third picture 😭

user5 they're back in their skins party era

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nicholashoult

liked by mikebailey, ellefanning, hughgrant, and 893,924 others

nicholashoult today, tomorrow, forever

tagged: ynhoult

hughgrant Congratulations! I hope its a long and happy marriage

ellefanning beautiful ceremony and killer reception

mikebaily congrats mate!

user1 the polaroids of the guests are so cute

user2 between the two of them there were more famous actors as guests at their wedding than the oscars 😭

user3 I want a love like this

user4 they're so intimate its adorable

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[caius-hhhhhh]

it is time for the story about my favourite dinosaur.

I’m dyscalculic, so when I was choosing my science requirement for undergrad, I wanted a class that didn’t involve math and didn’t have a lab. And one of my options, I discovered, was a first-year earth sciences class called “the rise and fall of the dinosaurs”. and I thought “HELL YEAH.”

I knew going into it that there were two options for how the class would be conducted: either the professor would be completely fucking stone-faced, and would think that dinosaurs were the most serious subject in the entire world and that there was nothing fun and everything wholly scientific about them, which would be hilarious. The other option is that they would be a child who really fucking loved dinosaurs and grew up to never ever stop loving them, and thought they were super ultra cool and very badass, which would be equally hilarious. She was the latter! She put a goddamn selfie of herself with the guy who discovered spinosaurus in the lecture slides.

(let me also shout her out because, again, i’m dyscalculic, and after failing chemistry [apple bottom jeansss boots with the fuUuUr] in high school I was fully convinced that I’m science dumb, it’s just not my language, and I didn’t have any hope of succeeding in that world because of my inability to do math. I got one of the highest grades in the class that term — because of the way she taught the material, how she made me passionate about learning it, and how she emphasised what and how we should be learning. because of her I know that there are ways that I can be good at science, I’m not a lost cause, and I’m not stupid! love her to death.)

Now: we largely don’t know what colour dinosaurs were. When a specimen is fossilised, its body lithifies into the colour of the stone that’s pressing against it (usually sandstone), which makes nearly all fossils appear brown, grey, black, or rarely red. So when the people who manufacture dinosaur content for children (who more often than not have more say in how non-experts view dinosaurs than the actual scientists that study them) need to decide what colour the dinosaurs were, they default to picking saturated, usually quote-unquote “masculine” colours (thank GOD my professor was a woman, by the way.) that will appeal to children rather than something more realistic or probable. Look up literally any dinosaur: chances are, most drawings you see are going to depict dinosaurs as fire-engine red, grass green, sunflower yellow, ocean blue, or black. A lot of them are red with black stripes. Honestly artists can make some pretty wild decisions about what the hell colour a dinosaur can be — because we have no idea! It’s entirely invented.

Until we discovered a teeny tiny dinosaur called Sinosauropteryx. He’s a relative of the tyrranosaurids, belonging to the same clade as them (as well as all modern birds). His name is Latin for “feathered lizard from China”, because he was discovered in the Yixian Formation in the Liaoning Province, an incredibly rich fossil ground because of its volcanic geology — silicastic rock preserves fossils EXQUISITELY because lava covers an entire specimen very quickly. You’ll find a lot of fossils from this formation — and dinosaurs discovered here often have names that have both Mandarin and Greek roots mashed together, which is never not jarring.

So, because our friend sinosauropteryx was covered in lava rock, his integument was preserved: the integument is the tissue that surrounds an organism’s body, including skin, scales, shells, fur, and feathers. Its feathers were mashed perfectly against the rock, and we can see these impressions quite well:

(his spine is bent backwards from rigor mortis. Most dinosaurs were ballerinas)

What’s particularly spectacular about sinosauropteryx’s preserved integument is that its fucking melanosomes are preserved. Melanosomes are pigment-containing cells — and scientists were able to compare sinosauropteryx’s melanosomes with those of modern birds, and for the first time ever, determine what colour he was!!!

A fawny brown with a ringed tail and countershading!

Look up ANY picture of sinosauropteryx, and he’s always a gentle brown with a ringed tail and a pale tummy. Because we know! For the first time, we know!!

The slightly more famous dinosaur with intact melanosomes is archaeopteryx (old wing): she has iridescent black feathers not unlike crows or blackbirds.

She’s perhaps the cooler colour, but sinosauropteryx was the first, and that makes him my favourite.

[2025] Velociraptor [15045]

No! I know you can do this so much better, schleich. This thing is awkwardly feathered, stupidly bright. The colour is too uniform and the arms/wings are weird. I am so not a fan of this one.

[teamisc]

GRRRRRRRRRR

[xxplastic-cubexx]

you open my Super Important Documents and its just pictures of charles xavier

[dykedvonte]

You ever just see a Mouthwashing take that makes you want to bang your head into a wall? I literally just saw someone claim Curly couldn't have been emotionally abused by Jimmy before the crash because he was in a higher position of power than Jimmy.

-Shrimp Anon

The mouthwashing fandom has shown me that people genuinely do believe that certain types of abuse are not as detrimental as other types especially when they deem those immune/resistant, ergo, believing one is objectively worse no matter how it affects the person nor the intersections of power, history and dynamics at play.

Get ready cause this is a yap session:

Cause like it's heavily implied that Curly and Jimmy's friendship was toxic and abusive, pointedly in the direction of how Jimmy uses Curly's belief/comfort in him. Curly wasn't forced to enable Jimmy but he was emotional and mentally on edge around him in almost every scene in some way. Mental and emotional abuse are not contingent on what positions you have at work. Yeah, he's Jimmy's boss but he was Jimmy's friend first and it's like getting into Psych discussion to talk about how social power tends to overshadow any perceived organizational power in the human mind. People are concerned about their jobs ofc but they tend to hang onto and put more value/investment into their personal relationships, hence why there tends to be laws and restrictions around mixing the two.

I always see the sentiments that "Curly is a grown ass man", "Curly is bigger than Jimmy", "Curly is Jimmy's boss", "He just needed a backbone" as criticisms of Curly and while I do agree that on the surface level all of these to be true and viable ways Curly could've taken more control of the situation, I often look at the parallels of Anya and Curly as victims of Jimmy pre/post crash.

The way Jimmy talks to Anya post crash is how he talked to Curly in the pre-crash segments. It's hard to pin-point mainly because we know he hates and wants nothing to do with Anya compared to his contrary but similarly handled obsessions with Curly. It's a weird sort of "honey-moon" effect of abuse Jimmy does in terms of emotional and mental victimization. He is always horrid to Anya, always talking down or questioning her abilities and thoughts in a situation, this of course includes the harassment and assault. However, he has a moment of attempted gentleness/conditioning when he question her about the mouthwash when she's contemplating drinking it at the table. The key difference is he has no personal investment in Jimmy outside wanting nothing to do with him, meaning there is no sort of romanticized version of him that he can condition her off of. He knows this, hence, why he always reverts to trying to make her to scared to oppose him.

This sort of give and take of "kindness" doesn't work on her because she knows he is just doing it to take more from her than whatever he could possibly give but it reflects even the "softer" scenes between him and Curly where he always rewords or rephrases Curly's sentiments and concerns to sound more shallow. He is feigning a deeper understanding by reworking Curly's emotions into something bad and needing to be hidden. Everything is laced with envy and resentment, an outburst just around the corner, I mean he even slams the table in the birthday party scene, a tactic in emotional manipulation to set the victim on edge and cloud their ability to respond. Even if Curly knows Jimmy won't get physical in that moment, the physical actions is intended to make him back down in the confrontation in case it does. This is something that is just not person specific. It ingrains itself into how you interact with the world and life and it shows in major and minor ways with Curly.

Post-crash, the abusive nature is more in tandem to the physical victimization Anya went through and the stripping of voice and autonomy we see take place. Like the parasite in HFIM, Jimmy speaks for Curly most of the time and puts words in his mouth, similarly to how he takes Anya's plans as his own. He very commonly, with the both of them mind you, supplements the worst aspects of himself into them; pettiness, selfishness, lack of understanding... And tries to cover himself with their best qualities; kindness, planning, initiative, etc...

These parallel are just to say that positional power has little to do with if a person can be abused and how it can even be flipped to further the abuse. There is no doubt that Curly could've picked up on Jimmy's envy of his position hence another reason he never confronted him as a Captain but as a friend as doing so would immediately put Jimmy in a space to be confrontational/combative.

I think the disdain some people have when they talk about the heavily implied if not implicitly stated emotional/mental abuse Curly experienced being Jimmy's friend is when treating it as an excuse to why he didn't do more. I can understand that completely because it is not an excuse to why he didn't do more but is a very real reason people in his position in these scenarios can experience whether in the context of a work or social environment. However, I also think the way people talk about it really does demonstrate a bigger problem when talking about abuse when somehow who is/was abused is either part of the issue or enabled it.

Harkening back to the sentiments about Curly's inaction regarding Jimmy, I think the exact phrases I used/have seen show how there is an inherent belief that it is easier to overpower the effects of emotional/mental abuse that go in tandem with the perception of Curly as someone who should be able to. There is not an age you suddenly stop being susceptible to abuse nor a set point or low where you realize how it has affected you. You don't suddenly know to stand up or put a face on to face your abuser nor admit that you inadvertently enabled them to subjugate someone else to the same treatment. Maybe it's my psych brain but their is this growing belief that direct action is somehow easy or always the best method with the game shows you instances where it is not always the case. In real life that rings true too. He should have done more, but it's not impossible to see why he struggled to find a way or didn't even if it makes us mad.

It's not easy to suddenly gain a "back-bone". You don't immediately want to resort to aggression, especially if it mirrors the type you were a victim to. You don't want to believe you allowed yourself to be treated this bad, let it get that bad or allowed something bad to happen to someone else. It is easy to be in denial, to retreat to your thoughts or make excuses to avoid the painful truth. It's frustrating but in a way we know is relatable. It why we both hate and love Curly for it. We know we'd be better, we think we'd be better, we like to think we wouldn't falter in the same ways but it's always easier to say that from the outside looking in. It's easy to see what he was doing wrong because we are seeing it, not him, but the game really does make you picture what you would do if this was your raw reality and it's why this debate about Curly seems so never ending/contradictory. We can all say what we'd do but bottom line is that's much different when you're in the moment with all the emotions and human feelings attached.

I personally think Mouthwashing tackles the themes of rape culture, enabling, toxic masculinity, types of abuse and patriarchy in ways that are meant to deconstruct the typical straightforward views we mostly have of these concepts and how little subtilities of them are just as, if not more, detrimental than the overt/obvious parts. The game deals with the idea of little details and bigger picture in a way to show that sometimes the bigger picture is not the issue but the little details that make it up. It's why I have a personal dislike of depictions of Jimmy as the typical horrible person who would of course do something like this because the game is about noticing the little warning signs, the foreshadowing and foresight.

It's why I dislike the typical discussion of "bro code" and "boys will be boys" for the game because the game makes a point to avoid the standard depictions of such. It is about the type of men who still enable despite not condoning, agreeing or even perpetuating harmful beliefs because they can't see the little details or the ways it seeps into their everyday. The severity is not obvious to them as it was not obvious to Curly, Swansea or even Daisuke the way it was to a woman like Anya. There are little details about Jimmy that should ring alarms but if you are too naive like Daisuke, too distant like Swansea or too conditioned like Curly, they are just off markers.

There is 100% more constructive/concise ways to say "Curly was a victim of Jimmy's abuse on an emotional and mental aspect that clouded his judgements and perceptions in the scenario" while also critiquing on the side of "Curly still had a responsibility to protect Anya as a crew mate and Captain that he failed to do due to biases and stigma's he failed to surpass" without the weird condemnation people give him about should've knowing better than to let himself be manipulated by a person he considered a close, if not family/best-friend and had his own reasons to trust initially. Also stop being weird about victims of abuse in general with this fandom, like sorry not everyone has a like social epiphany the moment someone's nasty to them. People are treating it like you immediately know when you are in a toxic relationship immediately or comprehend when a person is actively dangerous and either it's your fault for not knowing how to leave/cut them off or you deserve it. Like the hypocrisy of people believing how certain fans treat the story reflect their irl views but not their own is crazy.

End statement is: I honestly don't even know man, I've been writing this too long and just like no man on that ship was perfect or really helped Anya when it mattered and I feel like pitting them against each other in discussion on who did the least or most or how it was justified sucks cause in the end Anya always did the most and best thing for herself.