#i should really do uni work instead
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aloneinthehellfire · 2 years ago
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would you EVER and i mean ever or never, i mean- what.
okay what im asking is, do see yourself writing robin x fem reader content at all? because ive loved literally ANYTHING ive ever read of yours IT MAKES ME CRY (im not kidding ive tried all sorts of shifting methods just to enter ur stories as my desired realities)😭
so, you + robin x reader would honestly make me ascend to heaven right away, i CANT deal im literally out here fantasizing about u dropping robin content that fits w the episode to episode format ive been looking for everywhere
and omg if not, i still love you to the ends of all the universes ever and back,
the hold RH has on me as of now has me literally pulling my hair out waiting for the finale
its genuinely so beautifully written i couldnt ask for more its so good its the best❤️❤️
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absofreakinglutely i would
and episode by episode?? yes absolutely, chef's kiss, bowing down
since i already have a series dedicated to an episode by episode with reader, i would most likely just write the one season!
i'm imagining it being set in ST4, kind of reader and robin's first proper interaction, lots of feelings, epic romance, AHHHH
i have been waitingggg until someone else wanted a robin fic omg, my gay little heart is bursting
it'll take a little while since i'm stuck on finishing other projects but YES i will be producing some reader x robin content don't you worry
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reds-skull · 6 months ago
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Hi sending this as an ask so you can answer it whenever it’s convenient.
The Hunter (and his men) knew way to fucking much about Simon and it was fucking creepy (great job!). The only person I can think of who would have that info and motive to go after Ghost would be Roba. He’d have the knowledge and hatred of Ghost and it would take time to build back his forces after Ghost dismantled them the first time. Turning and placing moles, building up a loyal army with enough money to hire Ghost not to mention the (red)skull motif and his apparent age. I know I’m probably wrong but is fun to guess and I’m super excited to find out what’s going on regardless.
I really liked this fic and I’m sad it’s almost over Ghost and Soaps relationship through the whole fic was handled really well and I think felt organic. From their first meeting (Soap was feral and Ghost didn’t know what to think lol) to Soap repeatedly saving Ghost’s life (metaphorically and literally) to eventually finally trusting each other (and those around them) and realising their mutual feelings.
Gaz is the best friend ever and is not paid nearly enough to put up with Soaps (and now Ghosts) bullshit. The man was ready to throw down if needed but still listened to trusted and trusted Soaps judgment, meanwhile Price is having multiple nervous breakdowns (respect) and is still keeping is children men inline and on task. He feels so guilty about failing Simon and MacTavish when it wasn’t even his fault both times to begin with it was out of his hands. This time though he’ll save them.
It’ll be interesting to see what Laswell turns up with after she finishes hunting down their leak… I almost feel sorry for whoever it was.
I loved the parallels between the story and the snippets of poem, that was so well done and cool! Am I correct in reading that you wrote those poems yourself? Because I didn’t realise till I got to the end note and wow i don’t even have words… I thought they were off some old poetry anthology I’d never head about and was going to look it up to read it.
Hi! Thank you a lot of the kind words <3
I do like your theory about Roba being the Hunter, and I do agree it would be the only logical option for their real identity... if it weren't for the poems.
I'm so happy you found Soap and Ghost's relationship dynamic organic, it was a part I struggled with, and I'm not sure that I managed to execute exactly as I wanted haha
I feel so bad for Gaz and Price in this AU, unfortunately everyone kinda got the short end of the stick with how the turn of events meant the 141 was never fully formed...
I don't plan on showing exactly what happens to the rat Laswell eventually finds, but you can be assured they'll probably suffer. She can definitely be scary when she feels the need to.
And I'm so so glad you mentioned the poems! Yeah, I wrote them but I was heavily inspired by a specific collection of English poems from the 10th century (the correct word for it is a codex actually but it's basically a collection). I'll be going in depth about what exactly is going on there in the post script, because it's basically another story I told in parallel to the main one in the fic. And I'll certainly give the name of the codex so you can read it, it's a little complicated to understand because it had to be translated from Middle English (and apparently every word there can be interpreted in like 3 different ways, not to mention the amount of missing pages and possible mistakes from copyists, but that's part of the course with books from over 1000 years ago...). The stories told there, and the language they used to convey them, is really unique and beautiful in my opinion.
I was kinda sad when no one seemed to bring it up, I figured most people just skipped them or they were just sort of too confusing lol, which is why I'll basically explain what I wanted the reader to understand from them in the post script (which I plan on posting at the same time as the last chapter, unlike with Not Alive, Nor Dead). The post script will also have a timeline for the fic, and how exactly it diverges from canon, as well as the deleted scenes and an extra poem I couldn't fit in the fic.
For now, I'll say the true identity of the Hunter is tied to those poems, and their character wouldn't really make sense if you skip them...
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angelofblackblood · 7 months ago
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I’m so tired.
#how do people make friends as adults#like I’ve been at uni 3 years#I’ve joined clubs#gone to events with people#cooked dinners and had takeaways sat in the living room#and yet somehow always seem to be an after thought#I’m literally a week away from handing in my dissertation with lots of work today#and the housing situation here sucks#and two people who I’ve been talking to about housing#who know how badly it all sucks#have put in for a flat of their own without saying anything#and I get it#it’s not really a shock cause like they’re a couple that can get a 1 bed and split the cost#they’ve been together 18 months#but I’m not even worth the talk apparently.#is it me is there something fundamentally wrong with my ability to make friends#or am I just really crap at picking people out#and like. they’re not awful people don’t get me wrong#but I also reckon if I went home from here for an extended period of time.#or left after uni#I’d never see any of them again#and apparently I feel badly enough about it all that I need to shout into the void here.#something that I do not do at all#but I have no idea what I’m doing now and finding somewhere new to live that is walkable to the uni is really difficult cause#for a uni town they sure don’t like students in any of their properties#I have so much work to do I should not be worrying about any of this right now#but I’d like to just play the switch instead and forget about this project or other people for a while#and I can’t cause this is due in on Wednesday and there’s still lots to do#and I can’t even complain about it to anyone cause they all talk to each other#a little circle of gossip that just goes round and round
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thisstableground · 7 months ago
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survived my first day of new job! i'd been at my previous one almost three years and oof i'd forgotten how much it takes out of you when you can't just do everything in your sleep, plus the pharmacy is being slow to refill my ritalin so i had to really wrestle the adhd, but it didn't kill me and that's what counts
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numetalkids · 5 months ago
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*inhales*.....................DEEP SIGH
#i'm exhausted#i have a job interview this week which i should be grateful for but i'm still so unsure about what i want in life#and i'm so scared of making wrong choices like i'm terrified#and the company seems kind of conservative in its structures and culture i mean apparently there are low hierarchies but#they make their whole deal about 'family' and then there are almost only men working there which is like ughhh like the ratio is ridiculous#and the thing is i found another job offer at my local library and i would just so love to work there!!!! i will definitely apply this week#i'm just scared that i'll do well enough during the interview that they will actually want ti hire me and then i can't say no#bc i didn't even expect them to reach out to me in the first place so i guess my application was better than i thought#so now im'm debating whether i should take the chance or sabotage the interview so that i get to try really hard for#the application for the library job instead#i sound ridiculous being upset that an employer is showing interest in me like what a privilege to be able to turn that down#at the same time. like thankfully there is financial support from the government so i'm safe in that regard atm but it's really not much#and i also don't want to be in this state of unemployment for too long#and yet...i want to just spend my days doing something worthwhile? maybe i should just be grateful that i have the privilege to choose betw#different jobs and try to take advantage of that fact and opt for the offers that speak to me rather than cry about it#god i'm so stressed this is my first time in life where i can't rest assured that the upcoming years will follow the same routine#like how it was when i entered uni like i just knew 'alright i'll be studying for at least 5 years and then we'll see' and now#it's like i don't know what i'll be doing next month or in half a year or next year or in five years#the uncertainty. killing me. that's how i know i grew up way too protected cause i break under the slightest inconvenience god#alright crying rant over from now on i'll be growing up for real 👍#personal
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enci-rebloggies · 7 months ago
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This.
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https://twitter.com/delaneykingrox/status/1090402436995473408
#my whole life i wished i was born a male#i could have started out so many things that i love way sooner#no one took me seriously when i was one of the 2% of females in a 98% male school#they literally didn't even have women's bathrooms there when i came#and many of the other women left after 1 year because they just couldn't handle it#being singled out and treated as either token 'eye candy' or just being treated in a really sexist manner#(this was a tech/electronics highschool for context)#online in most spaces i present as male#and it REALLY shows how people are openly sexist#for example i was in a random server for beginner artists because i thought art was cool and wanted to learn more about it#and the entire server was just openly saying that women artists aren't real artists and can only get a job in basic colouring or some shit#because 'women artists never want to improve'#and the entire server agreed with them (this was a larger public server)#made me never want to seek out any advice. ever.#or the time i got told by my networking teacher that i should have gone to cullinary school (never showed any interest in cooking#or talked about how i went there to 'easily find myself a boyfriend' (i don't date nor do i have the time for that.)#and im not even in the workplace yet#to any woman that managed to get through this and then has to deal with this at work at a daily basis#i applaud you#because in my case i am so fucking done with all of this shit and just going to study by myself without help instead or relying on schools#and institutions#my uni is also quite sexist#but luckily its not *as* bad (comp sci)#i did get screamed at by a man working at the school because i didn't announce myself because they thought that i was visiting someone#made me want to cry and throw up and never leave the house and ever go back there again#fun#fuuun..#(also for the 'i wish i was born male' thing well i am a very stereotypically feminine person that likes feminine things)#(aka not BE a male but BORN a male.)#but i fucked up even before i was born yey
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spacebell · 7 months ago
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I’m tired and bored at work and I want to go home and I don’t have much left to do
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bluefunkybeats · 2 months ago
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ZAYNE DOMESTIC HEADCANONS
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~ PART 2
cw: suggestive below cut!!!
Zayne who, when he doesn’t want to read research articles to get you asleep- due to how monotonous and tedious they get- instead reads ‘The Little Prince’ to you. Sometimes to tease you he turns the book and points to the picture like he’s reading it to a little kid or something. If you react with a warning paw to his arm he’ll respond with a breathy chuckle.
Zayne who always steals a sip of your drink with your straw when you’re out on a lunch date. Will tell you that a variety of liquids is good for the diet if you call him out.
Zayne who responds to the doodles you make on the calendar hung on his kitchen wall with his own snowman doodles. You can tell there’s a lot of love behind them but certainly also a lazily held pen (which you’ll allow since he does these very early in the morning before work). Other times he’ll just respond with comments like “oh really?” to the nonsense you write and graffiti on that thing.
Zayne who enjoys all kinds of sweet cold treats but always has some classic Magnum ice creams in his freezer drawer because it’s a reliable choice. He can’t nag you and will just give a touché happy sigh about any sort of snacks you store next to his beloved Magnums: it’s your checkmate.
Zayne who has a small potted plant in the desk of his office. He’s never really went too long without watering it, but ever since you’ve put a plant poke with a cute little character to give company to his plant, he’s never been more motivated to water it. It certainly adds a bit of you to his space, and he has the habit of stroking the little plant’s leaves in caress when he thinks of you during work.
Zayne who packs your bag for uni or work if he knows you’ll be too busy to attend to it until the morning or if you’ve dozed off already.
Zayne who readjusts your sleeping positions with the most gentle hands, otherwise he can’t be soothed to continue doing anything else. He gets prickles on his back just to think about you waking up with a hurting back.
Zayne who feels contentment he can’t describe when he slides his closet door open and opens the shallow little accessory drawer, and finds your jewellery in a specialised velvet tray and his prescription glasses on the other end.
Zayne who because of you, has a little egg timer resemblant of a chicken to help out when he cooks. He used to just use alarms on his phone, but ever since your silly little gift, he won’t use anything else. The first thing he did when he found the incongruous little chicken character was ask if you if it had a name.
Zayne who picked up your little habit of storing socks as little balls. When you’re both sat on the bed balling up his and your socks, he’ll grab one like a snowball and boop it to the side of your cheek.
Zayne who when he sees you really sluggish coming out the shower, will get you dressed and have you sit cross-legged on the edge of the bed mattress as he stands and dries your hair with the hairdryer.
Zayne who once put your soiled slippers in the washing machine while you slept before leaving for work in a really early dark winter morning. He kissed your hand and jotted down a little note on the bedside table for you to use his slippers instead, which were faced outwards from where you’d naturally put your feet to get up from bed.
Zayne who has a regime with you of cutting and peeling fruits for each other back and forth. Once outdid you by making his orange to you look like a water lily, knowing and having schemed that you couldn’t do anything more creative. The bastard. All your oranges from henceforth were like that, to rub it in your face with the excuse of vitamin D. Yeah right. You’ll get him.
Zayne who involuntarily (or voluntarily, who knows) flusters you when removing your underwear from the plastic peg rack. Upon meeting your dazzled face, holds the cloth almost touching the side of his cheek.“Should I not take this garment to face value?”
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ozzgin · 1 month ago
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Hellöchen popöchen
I hope no one has asked this before, but does your Rent-A-Monster offer study motivation?
Either a tutor, that can teach me the stuff I have to learn or maybe a monster that will just force me to sit my ass down and study. They could reward me with a "good boy" and I'd probably melt, trying to study even better next time I rent them, just to make them proud again and hear them call me a good boy,,
Maybe I could also get motivated by the monster with the promise of,,, certain rewards 👀���
Anyway, I have to study for exams and I just can't seem to really do it well and I think that a big hot monster would find a way to motivate me hhh
Hope you're doing well :D -🌚
The hallöchen gave me violent flashbacks from my German uni WhatsApp group 😭
Content: gender neutral reader, monster romance, NSFW
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Monster!Tutor has been tasked to help you with your homework and studies. Despite, well, his monstrous appearance, he is soft spoken and polite. You found it rather comical to be greeted by an unholy beast as he clumsily adjusted his glasses, sheepishly welcomed you in and asked if you’d prefer tea or coffee.
Monster!Tutor couldn’t ask for a better student. You make him so proud, and he loves taking his time with you. He’ll praise every achievement, no matter how little, as well as your efforts. He knows you’re trying. That’s all that matters, really. For everything else, you can rely on him. You can count on him to support his favorite little human.
Monster!Tutor is determined to have you succeed at all costs. He’s noticed your dusted cheeks whenever you glance in his direction, or the way you twiddle your fingers when he comes nearby. Thus, he’s decided to use it to his advantage. “Oh, you can just sit here instead”, he’ll suggest cheekily, patting his lap. “I didn’t quite hear you”, he’ll say with a grin, pressing his large, clawed hands onto your shoulders and lowering himself close to your face. “Care to repeat?”
Monster!Tutor might have gotten a little too involved in the game he’s devised for your academic success. He yearns to see your flustered expression, so much that he forgot his original intent. It is only when he’s tracing your bare skin, gazing upon your heaving, used body, that he suddenly remembers. “The homework, of course!”, he’ll mumble, embarrassed by his lack of professionalism. “Perhaps I should…clean you up first.”
Monster!Tutor needs you to succeed, because he craves the reward as much as you do, maybe more. Won’t you bring a good result home? Then he can have his way with you again, until you’re a drooling mess and can’t even form coherent sentences anymore. Don’t worry, he’ll explain everything to you, as many times as needed. Besides, cheating is allowed every now and then.
“Do you even need to wear glasses?” you asked once, intrigued by his bizarre choice.
“Not really, no. I hoped to look more human-like for you. Does it work?”
“Uh…sure” you nod, holding back a chuckle.
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itadodori · 8 months ago
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professor!gojo who could sense your jealousy every time he had a conversation with his coworker, utahime. the type of man gojo was, he’d do it on purpose. just to see if he could get a rise out of you. sadly.. his plans always worked. every single time you saw the two of them talking the only thing you wanted to do was smack both of them, but you couldn’t.
your relationship with him had to remain a secret or you’d be kicked out of uni, and he’d loose his job. that’s the reason gojo loved ticking you off so much.. he knew there was nothing you could do about it.
well.. he may have forgotten the fact that you were one petty woman. you were sick of gojo’s little mind games so you thought why not play along? maybe this would get him to stop toying around with you.
all it took was for you to say one word to professor toji, who was at the top of gojo’s most hated list. when he saw you in toji’s class after hours giggling and wearing that short ass skirt of yours.. he lost it.
toji fushiguro? did you really have to go that low?
“quit the cryin’ already. you did this to yourself.” gojo had you bent over his lap— ass in the air as he delivered a stinging slap.
he’s been at this for hours. you lost count of how many times he spanked your ass, but from the excruciating pain on both your cheeks.. you’d say about over 20 times.
“’m sorry baby.. but you made me mad!” you croaked, hands quickly flying to his as he tried to deliver another smack.
but of course.. he was gojo. so you couldn’t hold him off for too long.
“grab my hand again and im gonna start spanking that pretty little pussy instead..” he found himself slipping his fingers through your folds— toying with your throbbing clit. “would you like that, baby? hmm?”
he wasted no time slipping his fingers into you, yanking your hair in the process, forcing you to look at him.
“who’s pussy is this? better answer me before i get upset pretty girl.”
“y..yours- aw fuck! it’s all yours daddy!” you didn’t notice it at first, but from the position he forced you in, you had a clear view of his neck.
the black ink was too hard to miss. your name, in big bold letters was tattooed on the side of his neck. anyone that walked passed him would see it if they looked close enough. he’d have to hide it during work.
“oh.. you like my new tattoo mama?” gojo chuckled lowly— sliding his fingers out of you just to slam them back in a second later. “i got it just for you.. so everyone can know who i belong to.”
those words alone made your pussy flutter, and you couldn’t stop yourself from getting tighter around his thick fingers.
“g..gojo please.”
he completely ignored your cries as he watched your pussy suck his fingers in, mesmerized by the sight. right now any sense of logic he once had was gone, and the only thing he was focused on was drilling it into your dumb little head that you were his.
“but don’t worry baby.. daddy’s got some other ways to prove his loyalty to you.” you had no clue what he could be hinting towards— nor did you care. right now your body was too overstimulated to think straight.
“maybe i should put some babies in this cute lil tummy.. let everyone know you’re my wife?”
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all rights reserved ©itadodori ♡
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junkissed · 2 months ago
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goodnight n go
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member — fwb!vernon x reader genre — smut, angst, non-idol au word count — 1.7k synopsis — you keep coming back for more, but every night ends the same. maybe this time things will be different. warnings — mentions of alcohol, drunk sex, car sex, guitarist!vernon, rock band!hhu, no physical descriptions of reader, vernon is afraid of commitment, sad ending for this part but there will be a part 2 with a happy ending !! notes — before you ask, yes this is based on the ariana song lol but also inspired by black eye because it's been stuck in my head the past few days. as always, thanks to @onlymingyus for reading over this for me <3 i'm still on hiatus and requests are closed but i randomly had inspiration to write something for vernon so i hope you enjoy! i am planning on writing more for this story, but i'm back at uni and my time is already quite limited, so i'll try to write more when i can! reblogs, comments, and asks are super appreciated, it means a lot and helps me keep writing so please lmk if you liked it :)
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“hey, you wanna get drinks tonight?”
as usual, that’s how it starts.
you probably should have said no. you’d played this game before. you knew exactly what hansol meant when he offered to hang out after band practice, because it was never just “hanging out”.
you don’t even know why you still go to practices anymore. for a long time you’d avoided them; it wasn’t really your style, and you were never interested in being a groupie for their local gigs. your roommate seungcheol always invited you to every practice, and every time you declined with the excuse of homework or other plans, but cheol finally convinced you to come just one time.
at first, it had been because he wanted you to hear a new song they were working on and he’d wanted to know how you liked it before they played it at an upcoming show. but then he’d introduced you to the rest of his bandmates, and after that there was no going back.
you couldn’t help the way your eyes always gravitated towards hansol, who insisted that you call him his real name instead of his stage name that everyone else called him. from the very first practice, you were captivated by him: the way his long fingers seem to dance along the neck of his guitar so effortlessly, the way his voice rasps when he sings, the way your breath catches in your throat when he grips the microphone stand and rolls his head back, lips parted in ecstasy.
he’s addictive, and it’s exactly the reason why you find yourself in the backseat of his car over and over again.
every time, it was easy to pretend that things would be different. you’d walk into the bar together and sit at the table in the back, order a few drinks, chat for a while about nothing. did you like the new stuff we played tonight? yeah, i know cheol is really excited to perform it saturday. you been doing any writing lately? mmm, a little. i’ve been feeling inspired. we could go back to my place and i could show you. except he never does.
hansol wasn’t a bad guy. he always paid for your drinks no matter how many times you offered to pick up the tab, he was polite, he listened to what you had to say. he just didn’t want more than that, and that’s where it all fell apart. you’d screw around for a while, then you’d part ways and wouldn’t speak to each other until next week. you never went to see them play shows, he never texted, you never called, never went on a real date besides meeting in the same bar down the street every thursday night after practice.
he seemed fine with that. you weren’t. and yet every time, you ended up back in his arms.
he groans into your mouth, pushing his hips into you and pinning you harder against the faded leather seats of his old honda. his lips are sloppy but eager, messily pressing his mouth into yours as his fingers tangle in the hair at the base of your neck. you can taste the beer and smoke on his breath, but for some reason it doesn’t bother you. maybe you’re used to it, or maybe it’s just because it’s him. you don’t want to know which reason is the truth.
he kisses you until you’re dizzy, and you can’t tell if it’s from the alcohol or from the thrill of kissing him once again. it’s a high you’re convinced you’ll never get tired of, although you’re not quite sure yet if it’s one that he will.
hansol always lets you set the pace, but tonight he can’t seem to keep his hands to himself. both of your shirts met the floor of his car what seems like hours ago, leaving you in just your pants as he makes out with you as if it’s the first and last time he’ll get that chance. his fingers breeze over your waist the same way they breeze over his guitar strings when he plays: careful yet greedy, each touch intentional yet impulsive as he grips your waist.
he drags his fingers higher and it sends a shiver down your spine, arching your hips up against him and rolling your head back against the seat’s headrest. if there’s only one upside to this relationship, it’s that he’s good at this. really good. if he weren’t, then you wouldn’t have spent so many nights letting him fuck you in the parking lot of your shitty local bar. it does something for your confidence knowing that he must feel the same about you, or else he wouldn’t keep inviting you out. at the very least, this arrangement is mutual, even if you wish it wasn’t.
his hips rock against your crotch again, and even through both of your clothes you can feel how hard he is. your mind is clouded, everything’s a haze, and all you can think about is how badly you want him. the warmth of his skin, the gentle scratch of his nails on the back of your neck, his long eyelashes that flutter against your cheek as he kisses you.
you feel your hands slide haphazardly down his bare chest, fumbling over his hips as you tug on the waistband of his jeans. none of it feels graceful, not like the way he handles his music. it’s sloppy, desperate, clumsy, and it’s everything you need right now.
he manages to lean back from you enough to undo his pants and push them down to his knees, but his mouth is back on yours in an instant. somehow you end up on your back across the seats, gazing up at him with slack lips as his thin silver chain dangles over your face. you might not remember a lot of what happens on these nights when you’re with him, but you’ll always remember this moment. him hovering above you with heavily lidded eyes, biting his lip and cursing as he pushes into you, is etched into your mind in a way you simultaneously love and hate. love because it feels so good, hate because it never lasts.
the rest of those nights never stands out in your memory. you remember feeling good, you remember trembling in his arms and gasping and moaning and crying in pleasure, but the images are too fuzzy to make out. you don’t really need to reflect on them anyway; you know he’ll just bring you out next week and do it all over again.
hansol kisses you once more after you’re both finally spent, but the kisses afterwards are always different. more… hesitant, more uncertain. none of the passion and desperation that you’ve come to crave from him. not what you really want.
“i can drive you home,” he offers once he’s finished cleaning you up. for once you think he might genuinely mean it, but you can never be sure enough to take that chance. you want him to drive you home. god, you want him to so bad. to have him come over with you and stay the night, stay another night and another until your apartment isn’t just yours anymore, that’s what you’ve wanted all this time. and it’s what you’ll never have.
“i’ll call an uber,” you answer.
“i’ll wait with you, then.”
the silence that settles over his car is heavy as you climb back into the front passenger seat. you want to tell him to get in the uber with you, stay more than just a couple hours with you in the furthest back corner of the bar parking lot that’s too far to be illuminated by streetlights. you want to argue that he’s too drunk even to drive himself, that he needs to come home with you and sleep it off together in the comfort of your bed, but you know it’s not true and it won’t work. this is a conversation you’ve had many times before. every night you’ve spent with him blurs into the next, always the same. 
sometimes you want to laugh at how naive you are, for thinking he’d eventually come to his senses and realize there’s more to you than a good lay before a gig. sometimes you want to grab him and shake him by the shoulders and tell him to grow the fuck up, give him an ultimatum and make him tell you what he wants from you or else put an end to it all. sometimes you just want to cry, to mourn your wasted time when you’re fully aware it’s never going to lead to something more, no matter how badly you want it and how hard you try.
no matter how many times you get your hopes up, no matter how many times you pray and beg and plead with god and the universe and every other higher power to get him to realize this can’t keep going on the way it is forever, nothing ever changes. you’re never going to stop running to him when he calls, and he’s never going to stop calling.
finally another car pulls into the lot, and you manage to pull yourself out of his car. you hear your name behind you and you stumble, swaying on your feet as he rolls down his window.
maybe this time will be different.
he says his usual goodbyes and goodnights, flashing you a loose grin and a wave as his engine sputters to life, and he asks if you’re planning on coming to practice next week. 
and you find yourself nodding.
you’re left standing there, your head and your heart pounding, watching his headlights fade as he drives away, until you’ve stood there for so long that your ride starts honking and calling for you to get in the car so you can leave.
maybe next time will be different.
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witchwhaat · 2 years ago
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everyone
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pitchsidestories · 6 months ago
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the law of attraction II Ingrid Engen x Mapi Leon x Reader
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masterlist I word count: 1880
a/n: hi, it's based off this lovely request here. On a different note, how adorable are Ingrid and Mapi in that gif ?! ❤️
“Here comes our little genius, girls.”, Mapi told her teammates proudly while you walked towards the injured defender. Their curious glances made your face turn hot.
“Maria, we’re the same height, so stop calling me little!”, you playfully rolled her eyes at her.
“Sure.”, she shook her head in amusement.
“Girls.”, Ingrid intervened smiling.
“Ingrid, hi.”, you greeted her, happy to see the Norwegian again.
“Hi. Nice to see you.”, the dark-haired woman responded, wrapping her arms around you for a hug.
“Great to see you too. Also watching you two at training is something different than Uni.”, you mumbled thankfully into her embrace.
The weight of the library books in your rucksack reminded you of what you’ve been doing the whole day. Spending too much time in front of your laptop without successfully coming closer to solving the mathematical issue you’ve been working on.
“She’s getting some distraction from a math problem.”, Mapi explained to the fellow footballers with a smug grin on her lips.
“Yes, maybe the distraction helps me to solve it later.”, you replied in a hopeful tone.  
“Worth a try.”, Ingrid nodded.
“Exactly.”
“Such a smart ass.”, the tattooed Spaniard teased you.
“Maria.”, the Scandinavian scolded the older woman before she continued beaming at you, maybe we can all grab some food together after training?”
“Yes, that sounds like a good idea.”, you answered happily, you could really need a distraction and being in your friend’s apartment with Bagheera who loved to cuddle with you sounded delightful in your ears.
“Math nerd, it’s time for the beauties to get to work.”, Alexia reminded the three of you winking.
“I’m not keeping them from it.”, you pointed out laughing.
To her captain the defender said slightly annoyed:” Yeah, yeah, we’re coming.”
On their way to the training pitch, Marta remarked:” I mean you two have a personal supporter here so you should be motivated.”
“She's probably calculating some stuff in her head instead of watching.”, Mapi commented with a smirk.
Ingrid agreed: “As usual but she looks adorable while doing so.”
“Yeah, she does.”
Both of them watched on as you stared into space, too occupied with the equations in front of your inner eye.
Alexia shot her two teammates a suspicious look and teased: “One could almost think you two are in love with her.”
Mapi laughed nonchalantly: “Oh, please.”
“We're not.”, Ingrid protested, a pinkish hue appeared on her cheeks as she jogged off to warm up.
Alexia followed closely: “Just focus on training.”
“I am focused.”, Ingrid said.
The team captain looked over her shoulder at Mapi with a raised eyebrow: “I mean both of you.”
“Ale!”
She shrugged Mapis complaint away: “I just want to train.
Right after training, you found yourself at Mapis and Ingrids apartment. The takeaway you picked up on your way back filled the kitchen with a delicious smell of freshly cooked Thai food. You gathered around the kitchen table as Mapi started to set the table.
“You girls did so well.”, you remarked as you opened the styrofoam boxes, eyeing the food.
Mapi chuckled: “It was just a training session… or did you mean picking the food?”
“The food actually.”, you grinned, cheekily stealing a fork full.
“Of course, we're great at that.”, Mapi replied.
You started to spoon some food onto your plate and smiled: “Trainingwise, you both seemed a bit distracted.”
“Distracted?”, Ingrid echoed, almost dropping her fork in surprise.
“Yes.”
Her girlfriend swiftly changed the topic: “Tell us instead if there's someone distracting you from doing too much uni stuff.”
“No, no time for that. Besides you two do that already.”, you answered truthfully.
The norwegian blinked at you innocently: “We're not doing anything.”
“Right, we only invite you over for dinner or games.”, Mapi nodded.
“See?”, you only asked, the couple clearly already made the point for you.
Mapi gave you an unimpressed look and said around a mouthful of food: “You could just say no.”
“Yes, but I like going.”, you had to admit.
“And you can't work on your uni stuff all day round.”, Ingrid joined in.
“Exactly.”
You sighed. It was charming that they worried about you but in the end, you had chosen this career path and you loved what you did.
“It's kind of my job…”
“Yes, and we're so proud of you.”, Ingrid said, carefully reaching across the table to take your hand in hers.
You took a deep breath before confessing:” Thanks. It just gets lonely at times. Sometimes I want to have a relationship but then I again, I don’t think I would have time for that.”
“You know we’re always here for you, right?”, Mapi asked you in a cautiously tone.
You shot her a grateful glance: “I do, and I appreciate that.”
“You know, I think there might be a solution for this.”, the Spanish defender begun.
“You do?”, you lifted an eyebrow curiously at her.
Turning her head to face the Norwegian, Mapi continued:” I think Ingrid is thinking the same.”
“I am.”, her girlfriend nodded earnestly.
Confused you looked between the football players:” What are you talking about?”
“Tell her, Mapi.”, Ingrid urged the Spanish woman to keep talking.
“We could provide the relationship stuff for you while you focus on your studies.”, the defender suggested.
“Wait.. are you saying..? You must be joking.”, you responded, the surprise clearly written all over your face.
“No, we’re serios, y/n.”, Mapi reassured you.
“We both want to be with you.”, Ingrid emphasized the previous words of her girlfriend.
“I thought I was the only one with the crush.”, you replied still shocked by the offer of your friends.
“Oh dear, you might be very book smart, but..”, the defender smirked.
“But not when it comes to girls.”, the Norwegian ended the sentence of the older woman equally amused.
“The laws of attraction.”, Mapi hummed.
“That’s something they don’t teach in University.”, you answered, running one hand nervously through your open hair.
“No worries, we can teach you that like you taught me math at school all those years ago.”, the defender promised in a soothingly voice.
“I think I would like that.”, you declared smiling.
“So would be.”, Ingrid grinned satisfied.
“I can’t believe that.”, you giggled in disbelief.
“You better start believing.”, Mapi said.
“She’s a mathematician, she probably needs proof, Mapi.”, the dark-haired woman reminded the older player.
The Spanish defender mumbled:” Good point.” She was the first to kiss you, Ingrid followed swiftly. Both kisses tasted like the start of something new and exciting.
“What do you think? Enough proof?”, the Scandinavian midfielder gave you a challenging look.
“Yes, I think that was enough to make me believe that you were serious about this.”, you responded with a shy smile on your lips.
“That’s what we wanted to hear.”, Mapi commented beaming.
It took you some time to get used to a new relationship but a few weeks in, you could confirm that you felt happy and safe with your two girlfriends. So, of course you were a tiny bit sad when they left for the Champions League semifinal in London while you had to stay in Barcelona and work on your thesis… Or at least that was you told them.
Ingrid stood on the perfect green grass at Stamford Bridge right before warm-up. She watched the stadium slowly fill through a curtain of rain.
With a soft sigh, she said: “It's sad that y/n couldn't come with us to London, Mapi…”
“Maybe she can join us for the final if she isn't too busy.”, the injured defender shrugged.
“I mean it's in Spain which might make it easier for her.”
“That would be great.”, Mapi agreed.
A sudden grin appeared on Ingrids face as she pointed over towards the away fans. A red and blue flag had caught her attention. “Oh look, someone in the stands has the same flag as you, Mapi.”
As Mapi followed her gaze, Ingrids jaw dropped in shock: “Wait, is that y/n?”
From your place in the stands, you had no idea what your girlfriends said but the way their faces went from shock to lighting up with excitement told you everything you needed to know.
“There's no way!”, Mapi exclaimed.
“That little bi-…”, Ingrid started but was quickly interrupted by Marta who nodded in Vickys and Salmas direction. “Ingrid, not in front of the children!”
“Sorry.”, the Norwegian laughed before pulling Mapi with her towards the stands.
Laughing, you waved your Barcelona flag as they came to a stop in front of you: “Hi Ingrid, Mapi.”
“What are you doing here?!“, Mapi asked, leaning over to plant a kiss on your cheek.
You shrugged: “Surprising you girls.”
“You said you were too busy!”, Ingrid pouted.
“And I was busy but one of my fellow students reminded me that you only live once, so…” You gestured around the stadium with an innocent smile.
Mapi shook her head: “Why do you listen to them but not to us?”
“It's a scientific fact that we only have one life…”
She did not let you finish and instead rolled her eyes: “I can't with you nerd.”
“Me neither but I'm really glad you’re here.”, Ingrid smiled at you.
You grinned: “You're welcome.”
“You'll be our lucky charm.”, the defender winked and you could feel the blood rushing into your cheeks.
“Hope it works.”
Ingrid gave you a quick kiss: “See you after the match.”
“Have fun but win this.”, you called after her as she hurried away to warm up with the rest of the team.
Over her shoulder, she replied: “With Mapi and you we should be able to.”
“Ready, Mapi?”, you asked the Spanish defender smirking.
She took your hand in hers, replying confidently: ”Ready.”
“I can’t wait.”, you exclaimed as they started playing the hymn of the women’s champions league.
Despite the rain the team of your girlfriends were eager to win this and Mapi and you tried your best to support them from the stands. After the match ended in a 2:0 for Barcelona, your friend cheered:”Y/n, we won!”
“Ingrid was amazing, right?”, you wanted to know from her, your eyes lit up with excitement.
“Yes, she was.”, Mapi grinned at you. Both of you were too caught up in your bliss, so you didn’t saw the Norwegian coming.
“Hey!”, she greeted you, mirroring your bright smiles.
“You were so great, Ingrid.”, you told her proudly.
“Thanks.”, Ingrid responded.
“We’re so proud of you.”, Mapi mumbled while wrapping her arms around the taller woman who lifted her up easily in their hug.
“You were amazing support.”, the younger player declared.
The Spanish defender who was pulling you into the group huddle announced with a cheeky grin:” That means you’ve to come to the final too.”
“I do?”, you questioned amused.
“Yes, absolutely, you can’t say no.”, Ingrid tuned in.
“I’ll see if I can make it happen.”
“We’ll count that as a yes.”, Mapi winked at you before kissing first the Norwegians cheek than yours.
And indeed, you were able to come to the Champions League final much to the happiness of your girlfriends. The law of attraction didn’t allow anything else. Love has won before any of the teams graced the pitch.
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jromanoff · 6 months ago
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Study Break II R. George
Pairing: student!Regina George (2024) x law student!Reader
Warning(s): Reader not eating enough
Authors note: I’m in the middle of uni exams this week so I wrote a little something to indulge myself :)
Summary: College!AU - Regina is worried about your study habits and decides to intervene.
Word count: 1.6k
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Regina leaned against the door frame, watching you hunched over your textbooks, completely engrossed in your studies. The thick civil code books were laying open on the side, several coloured tabs sticking out to keep track of the laws you needed to use for your upcoming exams. Regina thought it almost looked like a rainbow at this point. That was the only pretty thing about the stuff on your desk though, it looked like a bomb exploded with the mess you’ve made.
"Babe, can you take a break? I miss spending time with you," Regina pouted, hoping to draw your attention away from the books in front of you. Her pout usually did the trick. She wanted to have some quality time with you since you haven’t been spending time with her these past few days, too engrossed with your studies. You even stopped having dinner with her.
You glanced up briefly, your brow furrowed in concentration. "Sorry Gina, I really need to focus. These exams are important."
Regina sighed dramatically, crossing her arms as she walked closer to you. Did you just really resist her pout? "You've been studying nonstop for days. Don't you think you're overdoing it a bit?"
You paused, looking at Regina with concern. "I know, but I need to do well in this. It's important for my future. I don’t want to be a failure."
Regina softened, her concern for you overriding her desire for attention. Regina almost laughed at this realisation, her High School-self could never. "I understand, but I'm worried about you. You need to take care of yourself too."
You reached out to take Regina's hand, caressing it. "I appreciate your concern, babe. But I really need to study now, I’m fine.” you said with a reassuring smile, concentrating back on your books.
Regina frowned and decided she needed to change her approach, this was clearly not working. So instead of complaining or outing her concerns, Regina tried to engage in a conversation with you.
“What are you studying, anyways?” Regina curiously inquired as she saw her girlfriend so intensely focused.
She never asked you about the content of your studies before, because she probably wouldn’t understand it. She, on the other hand, always excitedly rambled to you about whatever she learned that day. From fashion designers to fashion history, Regina shared it all. You didn’t mind it, though. Seeing your girlfriend so excited about her studies made you happy too and extra knowledge never hurt anyone. It was a nice contrast to your law studies.
���Legal philosophy” you replied curtly.
“Sounds boring” Regina remarked. Her efforts were met with a dismissive attitude from you, causing Regina to frown in disappointment. But Regina wouldn’t let this deter her from trying again.
“What are you reading about now, then?” Regina asked once again, looking over your shoulder at the book you were currently reading.
“The Case of the Speluncean Explorers” you responded, perplexed by Regina’s sudden interest in your ‘boring’ law studies. Especially after she just complained about not getting any attention from you.
“The what explorers?”
“The Speluncean Explorers,” you explained, slightly exasperated. “It’s a fictional judgement where five judges with different opinions shed their light on a fictional case. Five explorers got stuck in a cave and eventually ran out of food so… they agreed to eat one person so the other four could survive. They decided who it should be by throwing a dice and when the remaining four explorers were rescued they got a murder charge. I really need to study now if you don’t mind.” You hoped this elaborate answer would satisfy Regina’s curiosity so you could refocus on your studies.
When Regina kept silent after your explanation you thought you managed to fend off your girlfriend for the time being. Wrong.
Regina felt increasingly ignored by your continued focus on studying and your dismissive attitude towards her. So she decided to retort to an old tactic – a kiss to divert your attention. Despite being in college now and attempting to leave her manipulative ways behind, Regina deemed this situation an emergency. You would definitely cave in after a kiss.
Regina put her fingers under your chin, turning your face towards her. Then, she leaned in and pressed her lips softly to yours.
That sudden display of affection caught you off guard, but as Regina deepened the kiss your resistance immediately faded away. The tension in your shoulders eased as you gave into your girlfriend. Regina gently took the book you were holding from you.
“Regina, no. I need to study” you pulled away and protested, but Regina just kissed you again.
“What was that for, anyway?” you questioned her as you finally broke apart.
“So you’d be focused on something else than your studies. I deserve some attention too, you know? Not only your stupid books” Regina smirked.
You narrowed your eyes at her “I know what you’re trying to do” you told her and turned back to your desk. As you attempted to pick up your books once more, Regina shot you an ice cold glare. "If you don't put that book down right now... I swear to god you'll regret it," she warned, her tone leaving no room for argument. Regina rarely used that glare on you, but when she did? She was serious about it. Her glare and tone of voice caused you to immediately put your book back down, holding your hands up in surrender.
"That's what I thought," Regina asserted, a smirk playing on her lips. "Now, you’re cleaning up this mess of books and notebooks on this desk first," she declared, taking charge of the situation and asserting her authority over the chaotic study environment you created over the last week. How you could even study in this mess was a mystery to Regina.
Reluctantly, you set aside your textbooks and notes as Regina took charge of making dinner in the meantime, bustling about the kitchen.
The aroma of home-cooked food soon filled the air, causing a low rumble to come from your stomach. You quickly finished cleaning up your stuff and walked to the kitchen where Regina stood behind the stove.
“That smells delicious” you told your girlfriend as you embraced her from behind, resting your chin on her shoulder.
“It does, huh? Can you set the table for me, please?” Regina requested.
“Of course” you replied, giving Regina a kiss on the cheek before removing yourself from her. You set the table for dinner and sat down, waiting for Regina and the food.
As Regina set the steaming hot plates of food on the table, you immediately started eating before Regina herself had even the chance to get seated.
Regina observed you quickly shoving down the food she made with concern. It's a confirmation of her suspicions – you hadn’t been eating well all week, too consumed by your studies to the point you forgot to eat. With a pointed look, Regina breaks the silence. “I'm definitely keeping a closer eye on you when the next exam period comes up. You're not taking care of yourself properly. You’re never skipping dinner with me again in an exam period," Regina said, her gaze unwavering.
You frowned at her and attempted to deflect her concern. “You really don't need to, that's asking too much of you." you insisted
But Regina's resolve remains unyielding. "I don't care what you think. I'm keeping an eye on you. And that's final," she declares, her words leaving no room for argument. With a sigh you accept defeat, knowing that Regina can’t be swayed once she has her mind set on something.
That’s one thing that hasn’t changed since high school: Regina always gets what she wants.
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After dinner, you cleared the table and did the dishes together. Then, Regina insisted on cuddling with you.
Entering your room, you see Regina is already situated on the bed. She already removed her makeup and changed into something more comfortable.
"Come here, you," Regina said, opening her arms wide with a playful smile. "I need some cuddles."
You hesitated for a moment before relenting, changing into comfier clothes and joining your girlfriend in bed. As your head hit the silk pillow (that Regina bought for you, because according to her it’s better for your hair) you sighed in content. "I guess I could use some cuddles too," you admitted softly, smiling back at your girlfriend.
Regina pulled you close, wrapping you in a warm embrace. “Now, I know you’re tired so I’ll let you go to sleep in a bit, but you do need to promise me to give me attention tomorrow.” she said, softly stroking your hair.
“I promise, my love” you murmur, pressing a gentle kiss to Regina’s forehead.
Eventually exhaustion takes hold of you both, and you drift off to sleep, wrapped in each other's embrace.
The next day you would spend no time on your studies, but only on Regina. You were determined to make it up to her. You even took her out on a spontaneous date to one of the high end restaurants she loved to make up for the lack of attention you gave her the past week. Afterwards the two of you went shopping and then cuddled for the remainder of the evening.
And your exams? Passed with flying colours.
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coichii · 17 days ago
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101 DEGREES FARENHEIT - LEE KNOW
pairing - bf!minho ♥︎ fem!uni student!reader
genre: sickfic, angst, and comfort
word count: 1.9k
warnings: cursing, unhealthy habits, self deprecating behavior & thoughts.
A/N : i made this while tiptoeing on the edge of sickness and feeling well..😭 also originally was not going to be his birthday fic but uhm.. i lost motivation….
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You grab a sip of your water for what feels like the 1000th time tonight.
Somehow, throughout the day, you had picked up a cold. You knew there was some strain of flu spreading throughout your school, but man this one spread quicker than ever.
There’s no time for that though, especially not with midterms coming up right around the corner. So with heavy eyes and a sore throat that you swear is getting worse within a matter of seconds, you continue studying.
You didn’t live on campus. In fact, you lived in a small apartment with your boyfriend, Minho. It was close enough to both your university and his company, so it worked out perfectly. Not having to deal with pesky, disgusting roommates and getting to live with the love of your life instead was the dream.
The sound of keys ringing and the door cracking open was enough to pull you out of your thoughts. Your lover had just came home.
You smile gently as you hear his quiet footsteps grow ever closer to the door, heart bubbling with same excitement as it had when you first moved in. The feeling never went away, not even a little bit.
“Hi baby.” He says, walking in to your shared bedroom and sitting down on the bed behind you. “Still working this late?”
“Well yeah. Couldn’t sleep.” You reply. You wonder if your voice gave your illness away, because you can see his eye brows furrowing as you speak. “Are you sick y/n?”
“I just came down with it. My throat hurts, that’s all. I may not even be sick.” You try not to worry him, lying as you speak. If you’re being honest, your throat hurts like a bitch. But you know him well enough to know that if he knows how bad your feeling, he’ll focus all his energy on making you feel 110% and push off practically everything else.
He hums in response, eyes still searching yours before he’s moving to stand up. “Let me make you some tea then hmm? that should make you feel better.”
“Are you sure? It’s still super later Minho.” You respond, but you know it’s a loosing battle. He could be stubborn when he needed to be, and he is when it comes to you and your health.
“It’s fine. Besides, what kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn’t take care of you. Do you want chamomile?” He asked, not taking no for an answer. You smile as you feel yourself giving in, eyes feeling even more agonizingly heavy.
“Please” you groan out, and he’s leaving to the kitchen. You feel grateful for him as the day and pain catches up to you, finally deciding to close your textbooks and change for the night. Thankfully, you had already showered and brushed your teeth, so there was no worrying about that.
You grab the book you had been reading from your nightstand as you tuck your self into bed, silently waiting for the tea your boyfriend had prepared.
Even though you put up a slight fight about it, you can’t help but enjoy when he treats you like this. You love when he takes care of you, it makes you feel special and loved. It fills you with a special kind of warmth that can’t be described in words. Just pure love.
Just as the pain in your throat felt as if it was getting impossibly worse, your boyfriend came in with a steaming cup of hot chamomile tea, placing it down on the coaster next to you. “It’s really hot so be careful okay? I’m going to go shower now.” He dotes on you, placing a chaste kiss on your cheek.
“Ok, thank you so much baby. I’ll probably be sleep by the time you’re done.” And he hums in response, giving you one last kiss on the cheek before heading to the bathroom, clothes in hand.
The tea does a good job with soothing your throat, the sweet, honey taste dripping down your throat perfectly remedying the itchy, scratchy feeling.
You decide to finally get some shut eye as midnight comes around quicker than you thought, placing your book back on the nightstand and trying to get comfortable.
Key word : Trying
It’s hard, especially with the small cough that creeped its way into your throat all of a sudden. It’s keeping you up, the hacking noise disrupting the peace your body needed to finally fall asleep.
It takes longer than you wish it did, but eventually the tea is able to coax your body into sleep, eyes finally getting the rest they desperately needed.
Moments later, Minho joins you in the bedroom, clad in nothing but breezy pajama pants. Getting into bed with you and snuggling close, he knows you’re asleep, but he can’t help but begin to pepper small kisses upon face and hold you tighter.
“Get better, my love.” He drifts off, falling into sleep alongside you.
And you wish you could say you did.
You woke up smoldering hot but shivering at the same time. You look at your clock, groaning as the bright light amplified the small headache that had spread through your entire face. 10 am. You’re usually up by seven.
You silently say a quick “thank you prayer” that you don’t have classes on Wednesdays. Taking a day off of school during exam season is a whole death wish. But with how things are progressing, you’re not sure if you can even go tomorrow without getting 9-1-1 called.
You open your phone, groaning again as the light messes with your headache, but reading who the message is from still causes a weak smile to take form on your face.
new message from “linoo❤️🐰”
linoo❤️🐰: Good morning y/n.
linoo❤️🐰: Are you feeling better?
linoo❤️🐰 : I know you don’t have classes today, so you should take it easy.
linoo❤️🐰 : If you want to call or need me to come over, tell me. You know I won’t mind.
you : hey, I just woke up❤️ im fine though.
he texts back within less than a minute
linoo❤️🐰 : your symptoms are gone?
you : well no… they’re worse. but I’m fine !! i promise
linoo❤️🐰 : you’ll call me if it gets worse right?
you : yes :) I promise
linoo❤️🐰 : okay, have a good day. I love you
you : I love you 2 !!
You sigh as you place your phone down, mentally deciding to go take a shower. Surely that’ll fix the headache right?
Your head spins as you get out of bed, the world looking blurry and dizzy with specs of gray. It’s hard to walk.
“How the actual fuck did it get this bad so quickly?” You mumble to yourself, stumbling towards the bathroom and turning on the water.
The steam helps a little bit with the tension in your head and the congestion of your nose, but it’s not doing much. Atleast not as much as you need. Your throat was still burning for some relief, and the dizziness hasn’t stopped either. You’re thinking if it gets any worse, you’re probably going to have to go to the hospital.
The shower itself helps a little bit more with alleviating the pain, the warm water cascading down your skin and warming it up inside. But you can still feel it.
You can still feel the pounding of the headache you swear is forming into a migraine practically tearing your head apart, your throat is still screaming you for something warm, and to make matters worse, you think you’re developing nausea too.
Yup, definitely the flu
The flu never stopped anyone though, and midterms are still right around the corner. So with a dry cough and constant sneeze, you were popping advil, and taking a seat at your desk.
“A little sickness can’t me from doing this” you thought to yourself, but it was much harder than you thought.
Suddenly the sun had already set. The moonlight creeps its way inside through the slits in the blinds, but you hadn’t seemed to notice. You didn’t notice the way your eyes were blurred with unshed tears either. Your mind was absolutely buried in the thought of midterms.
I’m not prepared. Im going to fail. I’m a disappointment. I’m so useless, one fucking cough and I end up like this? I don’t even know why I try anym-
“Y/n!” Minho’s voice cuts through the mess swirling through your brain. You look over to where the voice came from and you swear you can see his face crumble the moment he looks at you.
To be fair, you hadn’t looked in the mirror since you took your shower in the morning, but Minho saw something different. He saw disheveled hair, droopy and tired eyes, beads of sweat drooping down your shivering body, and most importantly, tears.
“You told me you would call me if it got worse.” He bitterly spoke, and you felt that cut right through your heart. “I-It didn’t. I’m fine min-“ but he’s cutting you off immediately.
“You’re not fine y/n. You’re literally crying!” He booms, and you can’t help but feel extremely guilty. “Have you ate today? Or at least took medicine?!”
“Uhm, once at like n-nine. Look min I’m sorry! I’m so sorry for not calling you when I was supposed to. B-but my studying. If I stop, I’m not going to make it. I can’t fail min.”
His expression softens at your admission, eyebrows de-furrowing and eyes being replaced by compassion instead of anger and hurt as he walks closer towards you.
“Baby, you don’t need to push yourself so hard. I get it, I love that you want to study. But baby, is it really worth your life?”
Crack
“I know it means a lot, but so do you and your mental health. You can’t push yourself this hard and expect good results. You need to rest.”
Crack
“I love you so much. I can’t stand seeing you like this. Please let me take care of you okay? That’s all I want to do for you love.”
Shatter
You’re sobbing all of a sudden, burrowing your head in his sweatshirt as tears pour as of your eyes like faucets. It’s making your head hurt more, but you didn’t care. You just needed him.
He let you stay there for a while, he knew you needed it. He shushed the small sorries coming out of your mouth, telling you that you didn’t need to apologize. He only pulled you away when you calmed down completely.
“I’m going to get the thermometer. Stay here, my baby.” and he’s off to grab the thermometer you kept on hand from one of the cabinets in the bathroom, coming back with a concerned look on his face.
He quickly rubbed the thermometer along your forehead, reading out your temperature with a sharp ‘beep!’
“101 degrees.” He sighed. “Baby, if this gets any worse, you’re going to have to go to the hospital.”
Your breath hitches and tears spring to your eyes again, which Minho notices immediately.
“Hey, look at me.” He says, using his pointer finger to make you face him. “I’m not going to let that happen. I’m going to do everything I can to make sure you feel better okay?”
You nod along, resting your body back into his comforting arms as he massages your tense shoulders. He’s whispering small praises as he does this, and you swear you can feel your headache dissipating slowly.
While even though it’s going to be a while before you’re completely better, or even a little bit, you knew with him, it would all be okay.
As long as you have him taking care of you, comforting you, and loving you, you know you’ll be okay.
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back to masterlist
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agi-ppangx · 10 months ago
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to feel wanted (bang chan x gn!reader)
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hurt/comfort i think???, very self indulgent, channie is here to stay an: this is the aftermath of me procrastinating on uni stuff, have fun reading it😽
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“why would you say that?”
you blinked a few times, tilting your head to the side. did you say something wrong? 
“what do you mean?” you mumbled, taking a sip of your coffee. you grimaced, feeling it taste more bitter than usual. 
“you said we’re not close,” chan elaborated and you nodded. you did say that, yes, but what was so wrong about it? “i don’t wanna make it about myself, but it hurts, y’know?” he added, making you freeze. you looked up at him with a bewildered face and it almost made chan apologise, but he couldn’t drop the topic now, not when he finally worked up the courage to broach it with you. 
“i don’t think i understand,” you said with a forced smile, huffing gently to lighten the mood around you two. you hoped he’d just say “yeah, forget it”, but it seemed to seriously bother him as he searched for the best way to voice his concerns. 
“i know you don’t have a lot of close friends,” chan started hesitantly, not sure if it won’t hurt you. you frowned but nodded nonetheless, aware of your nonexistent social life. “but saying that we aren’t close? c’mon,” he sighed. you dropped your head, stirring the straw in your coffee a few times. your cheeks burned and your breathing became erratic. you took another sip of your bitter drink. 
“it’s just… easier for me,” you started quietly, not daring to look him in the eyes. you reached out for a napkin from the dispenser, desperately trying to busy your hands with something, anything just to not focus entirely on the conversation you never wanted to have in the first place. “i always do this, it’s like some kind of… defence mechanism or something. at least that’s what i tell myself.” chan glimpsed at you with a concerned look on his face, straightening his posture. 
“so… what does it mean exactly?” he asked, observing as you folded and unfolded the napkin. you took a deep breath, preparing yourself for the vulnerability.
“throughout my life i learned that people don’t really like me. they tend to think i’m rude or weird and they never want to talk to me after they meet me,” you shrugged your shoulders. “i’ve always been the kind to get attached really quickly, so it hurt me whenever they left. so now i just kind of… gaslight myself into thinking that people don’t care about me and that i’m not close to anybody.” chan observed you intently as you spoke almost nonchalantly about your struggles. he stayed silent as you put the napkin away and just stared into the table. 
“you know i’d never leave you, right…?” he whispered, not exactly sure how he should feel. he was hurt, of course, because for the past few months you two had known each other he considered you one of the closest people in his life. you made him happier, like a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day or a cup of warm tea on a winter evening. why couldn’t you see how important you were to him?
you finally made eye contact with him, looking for any type of sarcasm in his sight, but instead you were met with softness, gentleness, love. 
you nodded silently, blinking rapidly as you felt the tears sting at the corners of your eyes. you couldn’t open up fully just yet, but you wanted to believe him. you wanted to know what it’s like when someone genuinely cares about you and is willing to keep up with your odd traits and strange personality.
you wanted to feel wanted. 
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taglist !
@lynlyndoll @iyenbread @flooo71 @skz-streamer @inniescandy-01 @hannahhbahng @prettymiye0n @ggsez31 @laylasbunbunny @like-a-diamondinthesky @axel-skz @kittymaryam-thebrowniefairy @l3visbby @skzhoes @minhosbitterriver @astraystayyh
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