#i should probably start tagging my meta

[camellia-thea]

okay. just rambling here, but, i think armand took more than just the end of the interview away from daniel.

we got that little moment about that night, saying 'you asked me to' to louis. 'you asked me to take this from you, you could not live with it,' leading into, 'i look after you when you cannot look after yourself, i make those choices for you.'

we know that during the chase and devil's minion era, daniel was an addict, who was, by his own admission, slowly killing himself. he was also addicted to blood.

it's really not too far to make the jump, if devil's minion occurred, that armand made the choice to step in, in his own mind, for daniel's best interests. i know this isn't a unique jump to make, but; again with armand's "i look after him when he cannot look after himself" continual reiteration, i think it's a fair assumption.

he can also replace and blur memories, which makes the discussion of alice and paris -- why the dessert from that night? -- and how immediate and sincere his answer of "she wanted to say yes, but she didn't trust you. you hadn't given her a reason to." this could be the night he took them away, replaced himself with alice, planted something similar for her to start the relationship, then step back and watch it fall. and i think the thing that stands out there is just how tender he is while saying it. there's an undercurrent of something else entirely underneath, it isn't a dig at daniel in the moment, despite the pushing earlier in the scene.

and then in s1, when louis say to daniel, "i'd give it to you now." and the cut to armand, still in disguise, and his micro-expression of horror, the way he stiffens and looks away... and the little moment of what i read as conflict when daniel says no. his jump to "may i be excused?" i can't tell in the moment, if he's horrified about the offer itself, the fact that it is louis offering to turn daniel rather than himself, or the fact that daniel denies it. because i don't think armand could actually let daniel die if this was the case.

the disguise itself-- why pretend to be rashid? i think part of it is to try and hide behind a human persona to keep those memories at bay; especially given the little moments of flashback that got triggered by little mannerisms. i can't decide whether they're intentional pushes or not, whether armand wanted/wants daniel to remember on his own, or wants to keep it under wraps. i think, even if he believes he doesn't want it to come forward, he truly does deep down.

and once he's revealed himself as armand, the way he gazes at daniel, his beautiful boy. the continued "our boy", from both he and louis, the "he's still in there, somewhere..."

and i think "our boy" is also really interesting, because why would daniel be armand's boy, based solely on the moments that louis initially remembered? armand didn't really have any emotional connection to daniel that night, sure, he saved him, but that doesn't really mean anything; he saved daniel for louis, not for daniel's sake.

and, jumping back "our boy,[...] he's still in there somewhere"... there's implication that louis might know about it? again, i don't think this is related to the original interview, or at least, limited to it? i don't have anything concrete here, just vibes, but again, why is armand's boy still in there somewhere?

and sure, some of these are reaches and i don't think i'm necessarily right, but god it would be deliciously awful if i was.

[myemotionalsuppportcatboy]

I've seen some salt around interviews with the writers post season 5, mostly about Adrien not being present in the final battle and how that was planned from early on. I on the other hand, am happy about Marinette facing Gabriel alone as Bug Noire.

First, the writers say that Gabriel's wish has a trick to it, we don't know exactly what he wished for, and the aftermath of the world being destroyed and recreated is a major story point later on. So my first point is that it's NOT over. Adrien has not yet been robbed of a satisfying conclusion to his character arc. This arc is over, the show is not.

Second, Marinette is the protagonist. The teenage girl is the protagonist of this rom-com superhero show. Adrien is a main character, but he is not THE main character. He is a compelling character in his own right and is incredibly important to the story, and it's ok that he is the supporting character to Marinette. The whole point is that the girl is the hero of the story. She gets to be the knight in shining armor. She gets to have the badass moments and the op skills. I'm not saying the ML writing is without its flaws, or is even that good overall, but I am saying that as the main character of the show, Marinette having a climatic battle with the main villain is a good thing. So many animated shows get cancelled early or never made at all because their audiences are or would be mostly female, and some marketing analyst decided that women and girls don't buy enough merch.

On the other hand, I get the argument that yeah, girl power is great and all, but wouldn't equality be better than "Hey look, the girl is the hero this time." Well, yeah, it would be. However, the story told thus far is where the girl is main character and she's the leader and she's always one step ahead and she makes the complicated plans and she also plays a central role in said plans. And she's a teenage girl so she's messy and emotional and impulsive and stupid (affectionate). Maybe the story will change with time. After all, Marinette won in a way, but she also failed. She allowed Gabriel to make his wish, the ONE thing she was supposed to avoid at all costs. The effects of the wish are not gone. Maybe it can never be fully resolved until Ladybug and Chat Noir work together as partners, and that's the whole point. Or maybe not, and Marinette gets to be the focus of her own show, and that's ok too.

[raynewolferune]

Meta Jazz, the Arkham Intern Therapist Pt1

Update 5/16/2024: Congrats guys, gals, and others! You have planted the seeds and they have grown. Today I wrote another 46 pages on this story (the first section was only 9 pages ya'll). I'm working on splitting it up into smaller sections so I can post it now because tumblr said no to doing it as one piece. I'll be using the tag #Meta Jazz Arkham Intern Therapist if you want to follow it.

Original Note: I'm going to go ahead and apologize for how OOC Bane is in this. It originally was Joker but I couldn't see Jazz tolerating his proximity for more than a single millisecond so Bane it is.

~*~*~

The hardest thing about being a Meta in Gotham was responding appropriately during a Rouge's attack, Jazz mused to herself. Or perhaps that was just the hardest part about being a Meta intern at Arkham while studying psychology at Gotham University. Or maybe it was just her, she considered watching the guards and Dr. Rylie whom she'd been shadowing for the past 2 weeks wide eyed, pale, and shaking as theybstared at Bane behind her. It must just be her, Jazz decided, newbie guard Kyle Jennings was definitely a Meta after all. She should probably give him some tips on hiding his enhanced strength considering how often he broke mugs, door handles, and other delicate items used in daily life.

"Weapons down or I'll snap her skinny little neck." Bane growled out, shaking her slightly for emphasis. She very much doubted that. Liminials were built different than the standard Meta, stronger, faster, better endurance, and senses even if they could mostly appear to be standard humans on the outside.  As such, their bones and muscles were much were much denser than regular humans or even Meta humans. Technically, she could be considered "invulnerable" much like the Kryptonians are.

"Back up! Let him through!" Dr. Rylie  shouted at the guards. "She's my student! Let him through!" His voice was higher pitched than she could recall hearing it before.

Ah. That was panic.

Jazz sighed involuntarily and glanced over her shoulder at Bane. Why the man had grabbed the only person close to his own height nearby was a mystery to her - no, nevermind, he clearly meant to use her as a shield - but it made looking him in the eye more difficult than necessary.

"Mr. Bane, remove your hands from my person, please." Jazz stated calmly, channeling what Danny called her inner mom as she spoke. "I will give you to one to comply."

Bane looked stunned for a moment then laughed.

"Five."

The laughing continued. Jazz could sense a stir of uncertainty through her colleagues as they looked on.

"Four."

"Did you really think that would work?" Bane snorted out, arms tensing more around her.

"Three." She continued, indifferent to his words from her experiences raising her brother. Once the count down starts you mustn't respond to anything the kids do or say until they comply or the count is done.

"What cab you even do if I don't?" Bane asked darkly breathing directly in her ear. She kept her face expressionless despite the urge to express disgust.

"Two."

"Jasmine..."  Kyle whispered halfway across the hall from her looking on with a pained and horrified expression. Gun tilting towards the floor. Sloppy.

"One." She finished and Bane gave a derisive snort.

Then she was moving. Hauling the enormous man up and over her shoulder using the arm that had been wrapped around her neck. Bane hit the cold tile hard enough that the tiles, subfloor, structural supports, and part of the concrete foundation buckled beneath him. His shoulder popped out of joint, his wrist cracked - a hairline fracture by the sound of it -  and his breath was punched out of him from the force of impact. She released his arm as soon as his was embedded in the tiles and moved forward. Kneeling over him, support most of her weight on her left foot resting on the broken ground, her right knees pressed firmly across his throat without supporting any of her weight. The position put more strain on her muscles than she would've liked but at least Bane couldn't risk fighting back without crushing his own neck in the process. He could hardly throw her while flat on his back with a mangled arm.

"Now," Jazz began, looking directly into the behemoth's pained eyes. "Do you know what you've done wrong?" She asked like she would have done with Danny as a child.

"Yes, Ma'am." Bane choked out. Jazz heard movement and murmuring behind her. She didn't turn to look.

"What did you do wrong?" She asked. It was important to make sure children correctly understood why they were in trouble after all. There was a long pause as Bane appeared to cast around for the exact right answer as if he feared getting it wrong. A bad habit Danny still uses as well, Jazz thought to herself.

"I tried to hold you hostage," He choked out in a rush, words tumbling over one another as he tried to get them all out. "I scared you coworkers and it was very disrespectful."

So he'd gone for the grab-bag response. It wasn't wrong per sey but it did indicate a past history of abuse. The type of answer given by someone who expected to be harmed or ignored if they gave the "wrong" answer. Danny tended to use that method also and their parents had always been negligent at best.

"And are you going to do it again?" She asked giving him a Look as she did. Bane's eyes widened and he tried to frantically shake his head as much as possible with the pressure on his neck.

"No, Ma'am." He promised fervently.

"Alright then," Jazz said giving him a warm smile. She gestured vaguely towards the guards without turning to look at them. "Kyle here is going to take you to see the nurse and then back to your room then. I'm sure you'll behave for him?"

"Yes, Ma'am. I'll behave." Bane said. Jazz stood slowly asking sure not to put any additional pressure on his neck as she did. Kyle came and stood next to her as the giant of a man slowly pulled himself to his feet then led him away with 5 other guards.

Jazz heaved a sigh. Well, time to find out whether or not she could play all that off as normal, non-Meta human behavior.

[weirdmageddon]

i love these tags this person is so right

actually, can you imagine if dave was raised by B1 roxy?

i wanna get into this actually

(ok i had to spend a few hours rewriting this because IT DIDNT FUCKING SAVE AFTER FIVE HOURS OF WRITING WHEN MY COMPUTER UPDATED WHILE I WAS AFK so it would mean a lot to show this post some appreciation. i LOVEEE hearing what other people have to say)

even though these things mom does are presented in an extravagant, kitsch, jokey way, her intentions always came from a place of sincerity. she is simply Funnie

but rose reads too far into it and assumes things that aren't there, that her mother is passive-aggressively feigning interest in rose's interests simply because the things she does are so extra. "why do all of this if not to mock me"

im telling you right now if dave lived in this household he wouldn't assume antagonism, he'd go,

don’t forget who LITERALLY patented tangible jpeg artifacts as their post-scratch adult self and scattered shitty scummed up statue of liberties all over the planet. theres no way some of that overboard artful shit wasnt post-ironic / circling back around to genuine funny sincerity

dave's natural state is funny sincerity like roxy. he's had the natural capacity for this type of humor from the start and this is the direction he goes towards when he grows out of his brother's shadow by the end of the comic. dave and roxy share an earnest “so bad its good” type of humor

(lots more under the cut; the length of this meta analysis just got unwieldly with all the pictures and whatnot)

despite the alcoholism, roxy is a supportive mother. she's not the ideal guardian but hells of a lot more supportive of her kid than bro is. if she knew dave's interests she would totally indulge in them with some over the top silly goofy haha shit as a genuine gesture simply because she loves him

rose isn't too keen on it though. but she is more similar to dirk in her natural state of thinking of overthinking shit and assuming the worst, like the tags said

and yes dave got the sweet cuddly yet sometimes backhanded ouppy gene from roxy, probably even moreso lol

roxy's even said rose "sounds like girl dirk"

side tangent here, but this is something i wanna talk about.

i dont think bro should ever be in custody of children ever but if theres anyone who would be up to the task it's rose probably. i know she'd be able to keep up with him. not only does she have a defined personality (dave is more malleable and absorbs his environment like a sponge), if anyone can pick apart B1 dirk's batshit brain and probably be right on the money it's her. lil cal has been pumping patriarchal nonsense into bro's head and rose would be able to bring the fucking facts to the table without losing her own and being a living example of a badass little girl. i also don't think bro would try to force masculine roles onto rose like he did with dave, seeing as she is a girl, so she would actually have more of a leg up and get some passes that dave was never afforded. and rose wouldn't stand idly and accept any bullshit; she is no doormat. and i think this would earn bro's respect

but anyway, from this, couldn't we conclude roxy "sounds like girl dave"?

yeah okay. we havent even gotten into their penchant for funny typos or misspeaks, deliberate or otherwise

so, dave's environment

the sentiment "god you hope you can be as good as your bro at this some day" might have been genuine at the time when he idolized bro but of course he's not able to express that in any sort of sincere fashion because he's in dirk's fucking household. and this level 10 irony shit isnt doing dave any favors

his role models were the Internet and a vague idea of what Bro was like. So he built up his facade based on irony–not the literary definition of irony, as Rose might be quick to point out, but a popular concept of irony based on the idea that things that didn’t make sense actually made sense in some roundabout way. As a master of irony, Dave probably reasoned, he could see in a way other people couldn’t why a world that was scary and didn’t make sense really did make sense, and could therefore convince those people that he was superior to them. And he would wield his knowledge to maintain the appearance of superiority by calling everything ironic and pretending he didn’t care about things that didn’t make sense, and he would use walls of vaguely rhyming words to keep everyone at arm’s length so they wouldn’t discover his insecurities (source)

roxy's style is the embodiment of post-irony. being raised by mom lalonde would be like being raised by joel vinesauce ok

what can i say ….. (getting meta about this actually, hussie got these jpeg wizard wallpapers from a spyware website. link takes some time to load because internet archive)

rose is quick to read post-irony as actually being a joke/insincere, which in bro's case would be true. but i believe dave's natural instinct, outside of the influence of bro, is to read post-irony as genuine, which is exactly how mom serves it. we see this as early as act 3 from him; he understands her motives better than rose does herself:

and in act 6 intermission 2 i think it's pretty clear

but the thing is, it's always genuine from her. dave wouldn't have to second guess it because he's not one to naturally second guess someone's sincerity; that was learned due to his bro being virtually unassailable

there two types of ironies at play here:

seems like a joke, is actually genuine (roxy)

doesnt seem like a joke, is actually a joke (dirk)

you can make the argument that the second is is more psychologically destructive because it makes you question the reality of what is genuine sentiment and what isn't. dave never knew what was genuine and what was irony so he just sort of existed in this sincerity-ironic limbo and always did the opposite of what he genuinely felt on principle even if it always did originate from a genuine place.

"it just a joke bro i was just being ironic i dont actually x" is so much more trust-breaking and psychologically damaging than "wait are you being serious" / "i am being so fucking fr rn davy gravy" / "ok thats actually pretty fucking awesome. giant ass wizard statue" / "RIGHT"

how much about dave would change do you think? his character arc would be completely different for one thing, i think he'd have it good aside from mom's alcohol issues. he'd be left with the sweet and funny parts of him that we see at the end of the comic. the fake coolguy stuff is out, but this remains. this is dave in his element and we see it as early as act 1

he'd probably have no shades growing up in the lalonde residence* either cause those were given to him by bro straight out of the crater as an extension of his own cool image. and john gave dave ben stiller’s aviators for his 13th birthday to replace them so he could “spread his wings”

dave said he was wearing them for the ironies but i kind of doubt it. maybe post-irony but there was some reacharound to it being genuine because dave never put those pointy anime shades on his face again.

*though... it’s kind of hard to imagine him without his shades at all? B2 dave still got stiller’s shades from stiller himself so maybe getting them is a universal constant. i can imagine mom getting him them as a birthday gift cause shes pretty wealthy and probably could buy it out in an auction. but also itd be cool if john still gave him it as a gift

dave is actually a lot more genuine and easy to read than he lets on even when grappling with his upbringing with B1 dirk (again, see this post). this can be seen all throughout he comic but a good example is the evolution of thoughts about his interest in the preserved dead things in his room:

if B1 roxy was dave's guardian he probably WOULD have pursued paleontology because she wouldve indulged him in it and probably find it cool and worthwhile to pursue, instead of allowing dave to flounder under ironic detachment, being poisoned by irony to the point of gaslighting himself into believing he doesnt actually believe he thinks this shit is cool. even if it was indulged in this such a way; a superficially kitsch and ironic appearing presentation, it comes from a genuine place and inspires genuine interest. just read the comments.

basically, i think if B1 roxy raised dave, their relationship would have a surface level appearance of being bizarre or over-the-top but they’d have an unsaid mutual understanding that it’s completely in earnest and just build on each other's funny and absurd gestures of affection. rather than seeing it as one-upping each other, it'd more like collaboration of some silly bullshit that you take a step back and look at full and just say, "fucking incredible"

speaking of paleontology, mom had the proto-ectobiology lab. maybe they'd be able to use the equipment to appearify paradox ghost imprints of the dead shit to create paradox clones of things from the cambrian era??? sounds like a fun mother son bonding activity. and theyd actually put the sciencey shit in the household to use

oh god i know exactly the kinds of music shed listen too also growing up as a teen in the 80s. she on that (post)-punk/art rock/new wave/new romantic mtv stuff. XTC shit fr. this is a B-52S HOUSEHOLD. maybe the associates for the campy melodramatic flair. so he gets to keep the record on his shirt cause he is an enjoyer of the shit in her vinyl collection. dave would still gravitate towards musical expression and music itself but of more variety outside of just rap, with an 80s-90s, even 70s flavor due to mom’s influence. see this for perhaps a glimpse. ​she probably visited new york city a lot for business trips and because the music scene was cool as hell around that time, imports came straight from jfk airport, she probably got in on that a bit and have remnants in the form of vinyls and cassettes. in this way she could be distributing void to dave (influencing him with forgotten / presently irrelevant music). now he can REALLY rave about bands none of his friends have heard of. “hey davy grvay watcha listenin to” (he holds up vinyl cover) “omg snakefinger”

btw dave lalonde would look like this to me

[thoughtfulchaos773]

All About The Vibes

Richie always has a very knowing, keen eye—a sixth sense. Like speaking into existence with a simple don't blow a fuse—this is the start of Richie and his relationship with vibes and lighting.

If Richie didn't turn on the lighting in 1x05 and sent out the vibes, we wouldn't have gotten this Sydcarmy moment:

Richie also has a thing with walls (patching up walls with posters, chalking walls, breaking walls, and ceilings). He wants to keep the walls up from the old restaurant, but they're crashing down.

He's mainly helping sydcarmy with the current- creating the right atmosphere for them. In 2x05- even with Claire there, Richie is desperate to stay to make more amperage- more electrical current to flow through the bear. He's unknowingly looking out for Sydney and Carmy and is even taken aback. He looks at Sydney, rolling her eyes as Carmy wraps up the night.

The fixing up of Claire and Carmy goes to Fak, who's waiting on the roof for his tools and creates the right atmosphere for Claire and Carmy to happen. His vibe is more of an 80s romcom.

Richie roots for Carmy and Claire but it's for the benefit of knowing about Tiffany and Frank- and although Richie is happy to hear that carmy has a girlfriend in 2x08, he asks Carmy to stay a bit longer- to delay the call with Claire and focus on creating the right environment. Had Carmy stayed longer- he probably would have been closing the bear that night and spent more time with Sydney.

Richie is still happy for Carmy and even puts a heavy hand in directing Claire and Carmy at the end of season 2, but it backfires. Now, in season 3, Richie takes a step back, and who does he let take over the direction?

Check out the conversation in 3x05 "Children," where we spend too long on the Faks arguing in the background as Richie talks to the photographer. This is the only time he takes back the director and fixer of vibes this season. The photographer says the light is too hot- the password is iridescent (maybe iridescent lighting for the perfect Bear Vibe?)- and Richie directs Fak to get out of the lighting.

I do wonder Richie's perfect vibes? To get the Faks out of the way, sorta like Sydney and Fak feeding Fak to dismiss him.

I always wondered why 2x07 Forks wasn't so similar to 3x07 Legacy. But it is—they're Richie episodes. Richie is watching Carmy but taking the director's approach of letting the actors do their own work and watching the magic happen.

He can write notes- what he thinks should be the vibe but he's going to let carmy write in his own destiny.

For carmy, his perfect vibe setting with Sydney- natural lighting, flowers, enough bright living so he can stare at Sydney for as long as he needs, because true intimacy for Carmy is just staring at a woman.

My theory is that Sydney will be the vibe setter for season 4. She tells Carmy that her dad being off with her is like a vibe, and she's spot on that Emmanuel wished she was doing something else. In season 3, she asks Shapiro what the vibe is if she takes the position at his restaurant, and he tells her whatever she wants it to be —foreshadowing season 4. Because Carmy's vibe, if he could have it, is Sydney being the ship's captain.

Richie, we appreciate you, but it's Sydneys turn to put out the vibes.

Tagging: @currymanganese @ambeauty @mitocamdria @whenmemorydies @turbulenthandholding @vacationship @brokenwinebox @outmakingmoonshine @fresaton

There's meta on Richie being the director I'll add in the replies

[suzukiblu]

I kind of want to try your method of posting wips a snippet at a time while writing them, but on the other hand I am nervous about it. Can you give me some advice?

I've been trying to nail down the mixed feelings, and this is what I've got so far:

for:

it will get eyes on my fics faster, and I can show off what I've written sooner, instead of needing to finish a whole chapter

it will encourage engagement both in reacting to specific posts and in asking for more

it will be more chances for people to be intrigued and want to read the whole fic

against:

what if I do it and nobody cares?

til now I've been releasing fics a chapter at a time and it would feel weird to change that. inertia and all

what do I do if/when I change something I've written and already posted a snippet of?

it feels weird to post them on my writing blog, which currently only holds finished chapters (and fanart), but if I post them on my main, I feel like they'll get lost and/or I'll miss reactions in my busy activity channel. Where should I post it to? Should I make yet another sideblog?

in direct response to your listed mixed feelings, in my personal experience of writing this way:

for:

it will get eyes on my fics faster, and I can show off what I've written sooner, instead of needing to finish a whole chapter: yes it will, and it feels great! and personally it also helps me keep momentum and helps soften the sting if I drop a fic/chapter later and people don't have much to say about it. I KNOW it's good, other people already told me they liked it!! no, I'm not gonna throw out the whole story because of one mediocre reception, SHUT UP IMPOSTER SYNDROME AND GET BACK IN THE WRITING TRENCHES.

it will encourage engagement both in reacting to specific posts and in asking for more: yes it does, and WAY more people consistently (and more gratifyingly!) engage with me since I've made a habit of posting this way, especially when they're especially interested in a specific WIP over my other ones, and a lot of people just seem to be more engaged and invested in my writing in general. or at least more willing to tell me that they are, if nothing else, haha.

it will be more chances for people to be intrigued and want to read the whole fic: yes it will, and if you post larger scenes and tag them, then more people are likelier to find you/your writing than would if you only post one chapter in the tags however often you update those. also, if you have a fic-specific WIP tag that you link to, it's very easy for people who are just discovering the WIP to go back and catch up all at once ( or for people who aren't into it to blacklist, if that's a concern, as opposed to them feeling like they have to unfollow/block you ).

against:

what if I do it and nobody cares? good news: they probably won't care! at least to start. that's just kinda how it is, to start. I get a lot of engagement because I am REAL prolific and do my best to be responsive, plus I've been updating this blog and in this specific fandom pretty consistently for over a year, and also have also been in online fandom spaces on and off for, like, legit twenty-five years at this point. so I am just very used to being in these spaces, and I also have readers who've followed me for a decade+ or even since I was an actual literal TEENAGER in at least a couple cases, so like, they're already kinda invested in my writing, haha. there are people following this blog who not only read my Inu-Yasha Miroku/Sesshoumaru fanfic back in the day in the Pit of Voles but also still REMEMBER reading my Inu-Yasha Miroku/Sesshoumaru fanfic back in the day in the Pit of Voles, to say nothing of everyone who found me through AtLA or the MCU or the Witcher ( or so, so much Star Wars meta, the Star Wars meta has also definitely been a thing ). also I update my blog pretty consistently and I do writing memes that reward the people who play with me with new content and more progress in their fave WIPs, and also they're technically "voting" for what they wanna see more of, so that also adds to them feeling engaged/invested and me feeling motivated/energized, because they feel like they've affected the growth and progress of the story ( which they have ) and I feel like they're enjoying the story and genuinely appreciate it ( which they do! ). so everyone wins!

til now I've been releasing fics a chapter at a time and it would feel weird to change that. inertia and all: yeah that is the sunk-cost fallacy trying to fuck you up and you can and should tell it to fuck off. if you try it and you don't like the change, you can just stop doing it. you're free! no one can stop you!! hit the bricks, do your thing, the past is gone and it is NOT in charge of your ass! your ass is all yours!! whatever, we do what we want! I am in fact giving you explicit PERMISSION to do what you want.

what do I do if/when I change something I've written and already posted a snippet of?: then you've changed something! if it's a major change, you can repost the updated scene or mention you're making a change in a separate post or just say there's been a significant change when you post the chapter and therefore people who've already read the WIP posts might wanna reread it, but personally I change and tweak and fiddle with stuff I've already posted all the time. usually it's just bits of phrasing or formatting or adding in little details to round stuff out or correct mistakes, or to clarify things that confused people or that I forgot about, but sometimes it's adding multiple paragraphs or even additional little scenes. it's absolutely a thing I do and a thing that I consider fair play. you're literally posting "work-in-progress" excerpts, it is in the NAME that stuff might/will change or be adjusted. shit, if you feel like it, throw the whole story out and start over with a 2.0 WIP tag!! art is meant to be fucked with!!!!

it feels weird to post them on my writing blog, which currently only holds finished chapters (and fanart), but if I post them on my main, I feel like they'll get lost and/or I'll miss reactions in my busy activity channel. Where should I post it to? Should I make yet another sideblog?: the past is gone! you are free!! it's a writing blog that is for your writing and you can write whatever you want on it. the rules are made up and the points don't matter!! if you want a WIP blog too, you can totally start a WIP blog too, but you also don't have to feel obligated to bloat your sideblog collection or to have to go to all the effort of building up a brand-new following for a brand-new blog when there's already people who followed another blog of yours specifically for your writing. it's your writing blog. it's for your writing. write on it how you please!! if you're SUPER-concerned about the change, include a specific tag on all your WIP snippets that people can just blacklist if they only wanna see your full finished updates. for example I use "rintalk" so people can skip my random talky posts/asks if they wanna but also won't accidentally be filtering out anything they DO wanna see from anyone else on their dash; they can specifically avoid just mine. so like, maybe "octo WIPs" or "nb WIPs" or just whatever you're into would work for you, or just something like that.

unrelated to your for/against: posting stuff like this is not an approach that'll give everyone the same results or even WORK for everyone, obviously, but it works for me because again, I'm prolific, responsive, tend to follow my readers' interests, and have been doing this a lonnnggggg time and have built up an audience both from past fandoms and in specifically DC fandom. and also I'm super, super ADHD. definitely also because of the ADHD. there is . . . there is just so much ADHD lol.

but yeah, like, I'm pretty sure I've been updating pretty consistently for the past . . . what, year or so of DC-hyperfixation? something like that?? I've also published over 300k to AO3 in that time and GOD knows how much more word count I've put up on Tumblr, so like . . . tl;dr, I absolutely think you should give it a try and see if it works for you/if you like it, I just also wanna include the caveat that you shouldn't be discouraged if you don't get an immediate return on or big response to said try. like, I dunno what your followers are like or how much they talk to you, obvi, but I personally had to kind of . . . cultivate, basically? I had to cultivate the communication and the back-and-forth, it didn't just happen immediately. we have cultivated, all of us here, hahaha.

for actual practical excerpt-posting advice, generally speaking, the best start I've found for starting out with posting a WIP as you write it is to take, like, the starting scene of the fic/chapter up until either a narratively-interesting/satisfying end point ( or better yet, a cliffhanger ) and post that as a WIP excerpt in the relevant tags. then you're likelier to introduce the story to new people and bring them by your blog to see more, and they'll come in both primed for and LOOKING for WIP excerpts. then, you know, you can post subsequent scenes or bits in chronological order, ideally. personally when I do WIP Wednesday or anything like that, I don't tag little posts like those in the main tags, just with a WIP tag specific to their story ( which, like, obvi you know I have those, haha, I know you've been around MORE than long enough and even if you hadn't pretty sure I already mentioned them somewhere up there anyway, I'm just being thorough ), but anything that's pushing 400-500 words or longer gets fully tagged with ships/characters/fandom/etc and gets chrono/non-chrono links included in the post and then sent out into the world as my lil' story ambassador, haha. just, you know, use a cut or at least a "long post" tag if it's much longer than that, because like, Tumblr manners and all, hah.

ummmmm . . . so yeah idk how much of that was helpful for you, obviously, but if you have follow-up questions or anything, feel free to hit me up, I'm always down for those and I'll do my best to answer!

[lazycats-stuff]

Hii, can I request dc x teen male reader? They’re partly part of the batfam, he’s Batman’s second youngest son. And he tags along with Batman to a mission with Superman and Wonder Woman, and guess what, they brought their kids too? I mean not like the already existing kids of them, like they’re original characters? Imagine them just not liking eachother at first but they just become best friends during the mission when they almost die and just laugh it off. They are literally just like Batman and Superman and Wonder Woman trio.

Yup yup, you sure can. I feel like the OG trio would freak out at the similarity. I think I kind of strayed off, but I kind off got hit with inspiration, so I hope you don't mind.

Summary: Kids of Superman, Wonder Woman and Batman don't like each other. After a near death experience, they become friends.

Warnings: explosions, cursing, tension between teammates, they like each other after near death experience, injuries, OG trio is worried, OC kids, except for Batman.

(Y/N) knew that missions with kids his age was going to be a normal thing. He knew it and there wasn't anything he could have done. But to go with Althea Prince and James Kent? There was no such thing that would make Bruce drag him on a mission with them.

The trio hated each other. (Y/N) didn't like how Althea thought that men were beneath her and James is too soft for (Y/N)'s liking. That boy is a personification of a golden retriever and his father was no better too.

Althea and (Y/N) had way more problems than (Y/N) and James had. While James was somewhat okay with the no kill rule, Althea found the rule ridiculous and thought that the evil should be eradicated. No matter what.

That grinded (Y/N)'s gears and it made him want to bash her face against any type of hard surface, but he couldn't. He would be grounded and she wasn't worth it. At all.

But this mission was a test for them. This was going to be their first solo mission without the supervision of their parents. It was just a covert one and intel collecting. Get in and get out.

And that's why they were siting in Justice League HQ, in a dull meeting room. Batman was presenting something that (Y/N) already knew. He has heard it before they left.

" Now, (V/N) will take the lead on this, since it's covert and intel gathering. I don't want to hear any arguments about this. " Batman said, knowing that the trio was going to argue about it.

But lets be honest, if there was anybody who knew how to be stealthy and quiet, it was (Y/N). Well, (V/N) in this case. (Y/N) forced himself to suppress a smile from blooming on his face.

Take that you two. He glanced at the two of them and Althea frowned a bit and James just rolled his eyes. Oh you two sacks of shit.

" Now, (V/N), would you like to take over? " Batman asked, well, demanded. (V/N) nodded and stood up from his chair. Bruce moved over and (Y/N) stood in his place. It felt weird, but you know, it made him feel powerful.

" Right. Like my father said, this is a covert and intel gathering. Which means it's get in and get out quietly. This is a base on a remote island in the Pacific ocean. We have reasons to believe that that's where Vandal the Savage and Deathstroke may have stashed their weapons, however, that is not our primary cause. It's intel that it's kept there. We will probably encounter Deathstroke or Lady Shiva, since those two started working together. " (Y/N) said, pressing a few buttons on the screen keyboard.

" This is how it's supposed to look. It's a pretty classical look for a base, but the security system is very tight and nearly impossible to hack into. However, I saw a small portion of the system and I know that I can hack into it. Now, the problem would be Deathstroke. If you see him, call me through the comms. Don't try to fight him, because he will win. " (Y/N) said and he nearly wanted to smack Althea for rolling her eyes.

" And also, he has experience fighting meta humans, like Wonder Woman and Superman. " (Y/N) said, glancing at the said duo, who nodded in agreement.

" (V/N) is right, he is not to be underestimated. " Wonder Woman said.

Batman stayed quiet, watching as (Y/N) dealt with the two. (Y/N) was growing into a brave and a mature person. And his hero side was no different. He knew that the trio didn't like each other and that was just normal and in life you are going to work with shitheads, as Jason would so kindly put it. And you would have to know how to deal with them.

Again, it's just life.

And Bruce could tell that (Y/N) was dealing with them well. Sure, his way was sarcastic and sometimes it could get ugly, but it was funny and sometimes it was outright murder worthy.

But Bruce loved him none the less.

" We are going first thing tomorrow evening, believe it or not. And that would be it. " (V/N) said and the other two left the room with their parents. Bruce and (Y/N) stayed back and (Y/N) looked at his father.

" You did good. You stayed professional and I could tell you wanted to smack Althea, but you controlled yourself. "

(Y/N) smiled, happy to hear this from Bruce. It wasn't like he never praised his sons, quite the opposite, but when he did, you know that he meant it.

" Lets go back home. Your brothers would like to spend time with you before you go on the mission. " Bruce said and the father son duo left the room, moving to the Zeta tubes.

" I know, but I just want to sleep. I had a tiring day at school. " (Y/N) admitted as they started the teleporting. Once they got into the cave, they both took their cowls off.

(Y/N)'s hair was going in all of different directions and Bruce ruffled his hair even more with a quiet chuckle. (Y/N) whined, trying to push Bruce's hand away.

" You kids grow up so fast. " Bruce admitted to (Y/N) and gave him a quick hug.

" You say that every year. " (Y/N) retorted, chuckling. It was true though. He said it every year when they did good in something.

" Am I wrong though? I would suggest you go up now. Jason called me and told me that if you aren't up in about 20 minutes he will come to get you himself. And you have about 5 minutes to get up there or he will kidnap you. " Bruce warned and (Y/N) ran into the locker room.

Jason would absolutely make that threat a promise and (Y/N) didn't want to fight with any of them. Bruce shook his head fondly at his sons antics.

All of them are going to be with the death of him.

The young trio was in a plane, flying to their location. It was quiet and they had a few hours to kill before landing down at their designated location. (Y/N) put it on autopilot and leaned back. He adjusted his gauntlets on his hands.

It was slightly nerve wrecking for all of them. When on missions they had supervision, they had guidance and they could call the moment something went wrong.

This time is a bit different. Did they have guidance? Yes. Did they have supervision? No.

But the trio knew that their parents were watching. They weren't completely alone in the dark.

" And what do we do know? I'm bored. " James said, crossing his arms.

" And that doesn't sound like my problem. You know you don't have the stamina to fly so long and you can't be weak for this mission. " (Y/N) responded, rubbing his eyes. He heard a tsk and for a split second he thought that Damian was behind him. But no.

" You know Althea, I wouldn't tsk since you can't fly that long either. " (Y/N) snapped back.

" I thought you two are supposed to be strong. Men like to boast about their strength. " Althea said and (Y/N) turned his head to look at her.

" I still can't believe that you are Wonder Woman's daughter. She doesn't hate men and yet you are so far up your own ass that you can't see reality. Is that the result of Amazon upbringing? " (Y/N) asked, sarcasm slipping through into his voice.

There was silence before she huffed, turning her head away. James sighed, shaking his head. They are supposed to be a team and not sworn enemies.

" Well, this mission is going to go well. "James mumbled and (Y/N) closed his eyes, just ready to meditate and get himself mentally ready for the mission.

The landing was quiet and the trio embarked on the shore. They stopped in the bush and (Y/N) zoomed in the view he had. Thank God for built in binoculars within his cowl.

He saw 2 guarding the door.

" Give me a minute and I will disable the security system. I think we will have about 20 minutes to get in and get out. I will take out the 2 in the front and when we get in, we are separating. I know we don't like each other, but we put all of that aside. Now we are teammates. " (Y/N) said and the two nodded in agreement.

" Good. Comms are going to be on the entire time. And if you see Deathstroke, call me. " (Y/N) said, opening up the tiny computer on his gauntlet. He typed a few buttons and the system was officially down.

(Y/N) took a deep breath. It's time to go.

" Lets go. " (Y/N) said and ran towards the two, seemingly out of nowhere. They didn't have a chance with (Y/N). After taking their cards, he swiped it to open the door.

" Now we split. Wonder Girl, you are going left, there is an office there, see if you can find anything there. Superboy, you are going to the right. There are guard's room on the right so if you see some, knock 'em out. I will go straight for the hardware room. And if I find any weapons, I will destroy them. Comms ON. " (Y/N) said and the other two nodded.

And so they separated. Wonder Girl went left, (V/N) went straight ahead and Superboy went to the right. (Y/N) ran in the hall, passing by the grey walls.

There is a certain adrenaline rush you get on certain types of missions. If he is patrolling in the city, it's something normal and usual, almost like a routine. It was nice, but deep down he is an adrenaline addict and he is just looking for some extra adrenaline.

Missions alone with his dad or with others was a bit better in terms of adrenaline. The missions were always out of Gotham city and he was in place were he has never been before. And it always led to him doing some crazy shit that is guaranteed to give Bruce a lot of grey hairs.

But a mission alone, without the supervision of their parents? It brought out a new wave of adrenaline rush that he has never felt before. It made him feel free and way beyond light. When he started being a vigilante, there was this constant fear. But now, there was no fear.

It was just sheer bravery and intent to get his dad proud. Bruce was already proud, but it would mean everything to (Y/N) that he could prove himself. "

" Yes. I checked everything. And you said yes to my proposition. " Bruce said, looking at the two.

" Are you sure about this Batman? " Wonder Woman asked as they were sitting in the conference room, waiting for their children. None of them are able to sleep without their children in their own homes. Bruce more so then others.

" I know that he wouldn't send them straight into fire. Intel and covert, that much they can handle. " Superman said, clearly agreeing with Batman.

" I know and I know that they are more than capable of doing this mission, but I worry. She is my only daughter and I love her to death. (Y/N) and James are my nephews and I love those two death to. " She said, sighing quietly.

" But I worry about them working together. And also, weren't they supposed to report back? A few minutes ago? "

Everyone was silent before running to the second airplane they had. Yeah... Maybe it wasn't a good idea to let them go alone.

The mission kind of went south. Their cover was blown and now they had to fight their way through the guards. Thankfully, there was no Vandal Savage and his kids, but there was Deathstroke.

Turns out, there was no actual intel. This was meant to be a trap for Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman. Now that ticked (Y/N) off and he couldn't let it happen.

Absolutely not. Nobody threatens his family and just goes on with his business. And he had to settle a score after putting Nightwing out of action for months on end.

And even if he dies and this is the last thing he does, then so be it. Deathstroke didn't have any objections to (Y/N)'s plan. But the plan went tits up when (Y/N) got blown up to the next room. He hissed as he looked down to his stomach.

A shrapnel. A fucking shrapnel. He hissed as he took it out and took a syringe of something similar to the liquid from the Lazarus pit. He pressed the syringe into the wound, allowing the liquid to heal him.

It's a liquid only used in the emergency situations. (Y/N) lunged back at Deathstroke, taking advantage of the surprise. He managed to knock the bastard out. He was huffing at the dull pain, trying to block it out.

" Shit... " (Y/N) cursed, leaning down to rest his hands on his knees. It would all be fine if another bomb exploded, nearly knocking him out cold, but he was dancing on the edge.

He could hear a female and a male voice above him. He was blinking, trying to regain focus. He laughed as he saw their worried faces. They froze, looking at him worried.

" Why are you laughing? " Althea asked, worried beyond belief.

" Because you think a bomb can take me out. " (Y/N) said, laughing even more. When he calmed down, he took a deep breath and looked at the two.

" You two can help me up now. This was a trap for our parents instead. " (Y/N) said and James nodded.

" We know. Comms are always on. " James tried to joke as Althea and him pulled (Y/N) up.

" Our parents are going to kill us. " (Y/N) announced and the other two nodded.

" I don't know about you two, but I'm going to the plane, with or without you. " (Y/N) said and they agreed. The trio ran, just ready to get the hell out of here.

It was nice to see their parents, ready to fight for them. All 3 fussed about them, Bruce more than others. (Y/N) knew that they are going fight about rest when they come home. At one point, the trio started laughing out of nowhere and the OG trio looked worried. Some inwardly, some outwardly.

" What is going on? " Superman asked, looking around for some answers.

Nobody answered him.

After 2 months, they worked together again, but with their parents with them. It was a one completely 180 from their previous communication. The OG trio noticed a lot of similarities.

They were turning into their parents.

" Should we be worried? " Wonder Woman asked once, watching the footage from their last mission. It was just like them.

" I mean... Are we bad role models? " Superman asked out loud and Batman stayed quiet.

" No. But... You know, lets see where this goes. " Superman suggested. Bruce just pinched the bridge of his nose. May God help them.

[thesakuragarnet]

The Boy Born With Everything

Summary:

It had been five years since the war ended. Five long years that Touya had spent in an asylum of a hospital, watching from the other side of a glass tube, occasionally being let out to prevent his muscles from completely atrophying once the surgeries gave him range of motion…or to eat soba with his youngest brother. Once again, his body wasn’t supposed to last a month, much less years. Touya thrived on proving other people wrong…and he’d done it again.

Now, he finds out that, not only is he allowed to go back home (albeit with an ankle monitor), but also, his old hookup has nominated him for the new villain rehabilitation program.

After all these years, Touya will be able to fulfill his dream...he'll be a hero.

THIS WORK IS 18+ ONLY! TAGS BENEATH THE KEEP READING SECTION

Word Count (first Two Chapters Posted): 8,212 words

AO3 link

Tags: Fix-It Fic, Hero!Dabi, DabiHawks, LOV redemption, MHA 426 coping (everything after it has been retconned probably with this), swearing, explicit s3xual content, Final War Arc Spoilers, drinking, making out, fluff, angst, smut, hurt/comfort, Touya has Both Quirks (Post-Quirk Awakening)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter One: Prologue || Before The Betrayal

One week before X day. 

Merging with the Meta Liberation Army had its ups and downs…but this could definitely be shelved in the list of ups. Compress whistles as he rolls the dolly cart into the rec room of the Gunga Mountain Villa, and everyone’s heads turn to stare at the crate full of alcohol. It was a gift from Trumpet for the exponential increase in new recruits. Dabi, Toga, Spinner, and Twice had finished their meetings for the day, and they've been waiting on Compress to return with their “reward for cooperation”. Dabi’s eyes scan the bottles as excited murmurs bubble in the room. 

Alcohol affected his body differently. His fiery Quirk processed it, burning it up almost instantaneously, resulting in him getting shitfaced quickly but also sobering up in the same hour. If Dabi wanted the buzz to last, he had to keep drinking. He was going to have to hoard a bottle for himself. Compress opens the crate with flair, brandishing each bottle as he sets it on the center table. There’s vodka, sake, whiskey…plenty of options. 

“Oh, please can I have some!” Toga beams broadly, reaching for the bottle of vodka, but Dabi snatches it, opening it with little effort. 

“ No ,” Dabi hisses firmly, annoyed at her puppy-eyed stare as Toga pouts, crossing her arms over her chest. 

“What’s the point in being a villain if you can’t break the rules and do what you want?” She grumbles, and Dabi rolls his eyes. 

“It’s for your own good,” Dabi sighs, hating that he sounds like a parent…but he doesn’t want Himiko drunk around this compound of complete strangers. The liberation members come from everywhere…the last thing he wants is for someone to take advantage of Toga when she’s vulnerable, whether that be by stealing the little wad of money she kept in her A-line coat or…he doesn’t even wanna think about it. It comes down to the facts. It’s for her own good.

“C’mon, Dabi . You’re such a letdown . Nah, Toga, he’s right,” Twice replies as he drinks directly from a bottle of sake. Compress rolls his eyes, muttering something about Twice acting like an animal as he snaps, turning the two marbles in his hand into glasses before handing one to Spinner. 

“He’s right, my dear. You should stick to tea,” Compress sniffs as he sits down in one of the armchairs, crossing his legs as he pours whiskey for himself and Spinner. 

Dabi takes a breath as he puts the bottle to his lips, gulping it down, barely registering the ever-so-dull burning sensation running down his throat. The liquor starts filtering through his system the moment he pulls away from the bottle, sighing as the walls around his mind begin to dissolve, letting the real Touya come to the forefront. He found it harder to keep the mask up when he got intoxicated, acting a little more smiley and talkative than usual. He leans back onto the couch, sinking into the textured fabric as he unceremoniously props his leather boots up on the table. 

“C’mon. You guys are so lame !” Toga groans, staring at her fellow League members drinking without her as she kicks her feet in the air on the beanbag. 

“Dabi’s just lookin’ out for you,” Spinner explains, turning to Himiko as he sips his glass. 

“Am not,” Dabi scoffs, trying and failing to keep up his front; in truth, he’d grown to view Toga as a little sister. He felt protective over her; it was incredibly irritating. Dabi starts slugging the vodka, gulping with a comical force that clearly shows he’s trying to get as wasted as possible. 

“If you throw up, you clean up,” Spinner says flatly, but Dabi ignores him, draining the bottle until there’s only half of it left. 

“Fuck, that’s nice,” Dabi huffs; his vision blurs for a moment and his body feels lighter. 

“Guess I’m late to the party,” A familiar voice chuckles from behind Dabi, nearly scaring him out of his skin while simultaneously putting his heart at ease. Dabi never realized how much he enjoyed Hawks’ voice before; he never noticed how it was sweeter than honey beneath the shit-eating grin and the charismatic facade. Dabi would be lying if he said he never found Hawks attractive; embarrassingly, he’s had a little bit of a crush on him for a while. It was infuriating. Hawks has everything Dabi’s always wanted…and it makes his blood boil. He’s got the world’s eyes on him as the number two hero, always watching with overwhelming adoration. He’s got fans, he’s got fame…he’s got the approval of the number one hero…Touya’s father. It almost makes him sick how easy Hawks has it…to be beloved so easily. It’s not fair. 

Dabi stares at Hawks through his thick upper eyelashes, eyes tinged with lust but mouth drooping in a jealous frown. Hawks is too pretty for his own good, Dabi decides the longer he stares at him. Surely that’s not just the alcohol talking. 

“Hawks!” Twice gasps, leaping up from his seat on the floor and wrapping his arms around the hero in a vice-gripping hug. “You made it! I was hoping you’d be hit by a plane on the way here!” 

“Jin, always a pleasure,” Hawks grins, patting him a little less than condescendingly on the head before squirming out of his hold. 

“Care to partake with us?” Compress beckons, flourishing with another glass that practically appears out of thin air. 

“No thanks. Can’t drink and fly. Don’t wanna get a ticket,” Hawks winks, and Dabi almost gags at the terrible joke. But if the dumb bird turned him off that much, why were his thoughts swimming with ideas involving Hawks? Why can’t he stop staring at his lips like he wants to kiss them? The idea of kissing Hawks makes his head spin…makes something stir deep inside that he thought was long dead. Lust? That had to be it. To think it was anything deeper was crazy; the alcohol was just probably making him horny. It was a silly coincidence, regardless of how often he thought of Hawks prior…which was daily. He’d become a little obsessed with his double agent, finding it hard to keep him on a longer metaphorical leash. He enjoyed his company…enjoyed talking to him…it was fucking weird. Sure, Dabi was well aware of his own abandonment issues and attention-seeking habits, but…why did he unconsciously latch onto Hawks ? He pretended to play dumb with himself, shoving any urges or ideas deep back from where they came from in his chest. But now, the alcohol is making them float right back up to the surface. 

Dabi takes another long drink from the bottle, swishing the liquid in his mouth absentmindedly as Hawks makes eye contact with him. The hero looks mildly amused before he leans over the back of the couch, whispering in Dabi’s ear:

“Hey, Dabi, I need to talk to you. Can we take a walk?”

His husky voice and the heat of his breath totally don’t send something that can only be described as arousal pulsing through Dabi’s lungs. He hates it. It’s stupid. It’s just because he’s drunk. He’s clingier than usual…and Hawks is objectively attractive. That’s the only explanation. 

“Mkay,” Dabi slurs, finishing off the bottle before slamming it on the table as he swallows a hiccup. He leaps to his feet on swaying legs, the room spinning ever so slightly and making him marginally nauseous. 

“Fuck,” He whines under his breath, regretting chugging so much alcohol in a short period. Granted, he’d planned to just chill out on the couch all night, but, apparently, that was no longer the case. 

“Back later,” Dabi murmurs sloppily to anyone who cares as he follows Hawks out of the room and into the hall. 

Dabi is in another world; he’s hearing Hawks’ voice but not processing anything he’s saying at all. He’s mumbling and nodding, the illusion of paying attention, but he’s too captivated by the faint glitters in the hero’s irises. His gaze falls onto Hawks’ lips…they look so soft. Soft enough that part of Touya wants to reach out and touch them, even though he knows he wouldn’t be able to feel them. His senses are so fucked up…it cuts him viscerally to the core how much he wishes he could feel things again. Every sensation is dulled except his emotions, ironically…which have always been the strongest to begin with. His emotions are still as real and passionate and reactive as they were before his accident at Sekoto Peak. 

The two keep walking down the hall, Hawks dawdling on about whatever “intel” he’s managed to obtain and how many copies of the Liberation manifesto he’s disseminated. Dabi loses his balance for a moment, nearly stumbling and falling on his face, but Hawks catches him, arm lurching forward and clutching his chest. Dabi blinks as he stands up straight, turning to look at Hawks. The hero seems… concerned . Why the fuck should he be concerned about him ? Hawks has zero reasons to give a shit. His eyes dart to the hero’s lips again…and lust undoubtedly pools in his gut. 

Dabi just wants to feel something…anything at this point. Anything other than the raging anger and desperation that’s always bubbling beneath the surface of his cold and callous facade. Hell, just his imagination is enough to set his shriveled heart ablaze. The concept of another person…of Hawks touching him intimately…it’s ethereal. The temporary drunk confidence makes him completely interrupt Hawks as he slurs:

“Doyouwannamakeout?”

“Dabi. You’re drunk,” Hawks snorts, caught off guard and probably flustered with the sudden spray of pink that dusts his cheeks. 

“I’d make out with you sober, too. And other things. If you wanted,” Dabi mutters bluntly, pointing his finger at Hawks and poking him sharply in the chest, “I don’t really wanna talk business with you right now.”

Hawks raises an eyebrow before taking a look around. 

“Right here in the hallway?” He smirks in disbelief, but Dabi roughly shakes his head before grabbing Hawks’ wrist. 

“My bedroom.”

…

…

The door slams shut behind Dabi, and he hears the click of the lock as the dam breaks and his inhibitions go up in azure flames. As soon as Hawks turns back around, Dabi’s hands cup his face and pull him into an overwhelming kiss. Kissing Hawks is just as heavenly as he’d imagined it. It’s perfect even in the haze of alcohol. From Hawks’ point of view, it’s suffocating; Dabi’s clearly never kissed anyone before. 

Dabi drunkenly moans into Hawks’ mouth, panting weakly as Hawks’ tongue slides against his. Hawks takes his gloves off, throwing them on the floor in a rush before running his hands through Dabi’s hair, fingers combing through the cheaply dyed fluffy locks. 

In the back of Dabi’s brain, he knows this is probably empty; Hawks is probably seducing him for intel to get closer…to gain Dabi’s trust. That’s why he agreed so quickly. There’s no logical reason he’d actually be interested in his disgusting patchwork mug. But…part of Dabi wonders if he does feel something for him…if there’s a chance that he’s actually wanted by someone…for once in his miserable fucking life. He shoves the thought back into the recesses of his mind, focusing on the faint sensation of Hawks’ lips as they suck and bite and lick Dabi’s troubles away. Dabi’s hands drop to rest at Hawks’ waist, gripping tightly beneath his jacket as his fingertips slide along the sides of the hero’s belt.

“Top or bottom?” Hawks grins slyly as he breaks the kiss. Dabi’s mind reels; not only was he kissing Hawks, but they were gonna have sex. It’s highly suspicious for the hero to want to move so fast; the Commission probably ordered Hawks to get information by any means necessary, but who knows when he’s going to get another chance like this? It’s not like Dabi’s even had sex before…and now…the number two hero is going to be his first time. 

“Don’t care- hah -just want you,” Dabi huffs, greedily pulling Hawks in by the front of his shirt for another filthy kiss. Hawks melts into the gesture, hands delicately reaching down to unbuckle Dabi’s belt. Dabi breaks free from the kiss with a gasp, looking through his fuzzy vision to watch Hawks slip the belt off him with ease, tossing it to the side before unbuttoning and unzipping his pants. Dabi blinks, and he’s on his back on the bed; Hawks tugs the villain’s pants down enough to free his half-hard cock from his gray boxers. Dabi’s eyes widen as he watches Hawks climb onto the bed, kneeling down to press a gentle kiss to the tip of Dabi’s dick. The villain gulps, chills rolling beneath his skin as he stares at Hawks; the Pro kisses up and down his shaft, maintaining eye contact beneath his winged eyeliner, seamless and sexy. 

Dabi chews his scarred bottom lip, imagining what it would be like to fuck Hawks’ throat. Imagining what it would be like to fuck him…to be fucked by him…to succumb to mutual pleasure. The concept of feeling good was foreign to him, much less in a sexual manner, but this whole situation stirred his insides from his brain to his balls. If he was going to die in the war in a week, he might as well not die a virgin, even if he was so drunk he might fall asleep before aftercare. 

“You taste sweet. Not what I was expecting,” Hawks sneers as he laps up the beads of precome slowly dripping down. “But I’m not complaining.”

He’s doing this on purpose. The soft whisper of his voice and the deep intonations send vibrations up Dabi’s spine. Hawks is completely giving his all to seduce him right now. Dabi doesn’t care. He doesn’t care that he’ll probably be even clingier after this hookup. The war was in a week. And he would be dead. This wouldn’t matter. What does matter is for fucking once he’s giving in to his inhibitions…to an experience that he’s never had…one that might reward him in the end. His dopamine pathways must function somewhat . 

Hawks presses his lips to Dabi’s tip before slowly taking him into his mouth, sucking his length inch by glorious inch. 

“Fuck,” Dabi borderline whimpers, his other hand reaching down to run through the hero’s blonde locks. He was pretty sure he was getting off more on the idea of everything that’s happening than what he was actually feeling, but, regardless, it felt euphoric. This was a high he’d never felt before; it made his head feel floaty and his stomach feel warm and his heart pound with a violent fervor. 

Dabi’s head falls back onto the pillow, arm coming up reflexively, hiding his eyes as his back arches and his jaw drops. His voice comes out in a raspy groan, low and long and rising in pitch the more Hawks’ head bobs up and down. Dabi mumbles something unintelligible, panting heavily as he resists the urge to buck his hips. The lewd noises consume Dabi’s bedroom, the slurping and sucking of Hawks’ lips perverting the quiet and mixing with Dabi’s weak gasps and hums of pleasure. 

“You like that?” Hawks murmurs, knowing damn well that he’s skyrocketed the villain to cloud nine. Dabi can only manage a weak nod as he risks looking down at the depraved scene between his legs. It sends another jolt of pleasure through his body when he realizes that Hawks is naked from the waist down…and fingering himself. He can barely make it out in the darkness, but it’s clear the way Hawks bites his lip. 

“You ready to fuck me?” Hawks taunts, and Dabi’s absolutely sure he isn’t, but he wants to get on with it anyway, so he nods. 

Dabi nearly chokes when the tip of his dick catches on Hawks’ rim; the noises pouring from the hero’s throat are like forbidden fruit, kissing Dabi’s ears and filling his chest with butterflies…or maybe it’s just the alcohol. 

Hawks’ hands grip Dabi’s pecs over his thin white V-neck T-shirt, thumbs tracing over perky nipples and making Dabi groan.

Hawks sinks down until he’s sitting fully flush in Dabi’s lap, eyelids fluttering as he bites his lip to hold back a moan. 

“Dabi, you feel so good ,” He cries out, voice strained and breathless as he grips at Dabi’s shoulders. Dabi stares up at him, alcohol boiling in his blood as the hero begins to ride him, rolling his hips in a way that makes his dick twitch. It’s all in his head. He knows he can’t really feel it, but… goddamn if sex with Hawks isn’t more intoxicating than the vodka. He looks like a Greek god, stripped down, heavily muscled, and haloed in the dim sunset from the window. He’s never looked more attractive; it’s too good to be true. There’s no way the number two hero is riding his dick right now, and yet, the brutal sounds of skin slapping against skin and Hawks’ needy moans suggest otherwise. 

“ Hawks ,” Dabi pants, wanton and delirious, cock throbbing inside as Hawks bounces up and down and up and down. His throat feels tight…like how it used to before he would start crying before his accident. Dabi starts rolling his hips, thrusting up into Hawks, and the hero gasps, wings flaring out as his face contorts into pleasure. Curses fly from his lips, involuntary and jumbled together as his breath hitches. Dabi’s mind is on fire; desire bubbling in his lower back and making drool pool on his tongue. Heavy breaths fill the air as the bed beneath them creaks from their rampant movements. Hawks brings his own hips down with every upward rut of Dabi’s, getting as much friction for the both of them as humanly possible. Hawks doesn’t realize Dabi’s only getting off on the raw emotions and intimacy of what’s happening over any physical pleasure. 

Dabi sits up, hands moving to Hawks’ hips to get a better grip when he sees the hero’s leaking cock, hard and untouched. Before Hawks can say a word, Dabi wraps a hand around it, coating his fingers in precome as he starts to jerk him off. Hawks twitches, Dabi’s name on his lips, sweat beading on his brow. 

“ God ,” Dabi moans like a bitch in heat, head fuzzy and speech garbled as the high reaches an almighty climax. He can feel something happening when he watches Hawks writhe in pleasure. “Gonna come.”

“Me too,” Hawks grunts, moans pitching higher in tune with Dabi’s rasps as they both let the euphoria consume them. 

Dabi comes first, completely wrecked and not even sure how it’s happening. His hips stutter, cock pulsing and balls emptying as a pathetic moan bursts from his lips. Hawks keeps riding him through it, sending sparks across Dabi’s vision as his own orgasm hits like lightning down his spine. It gets all over Dabi’s hand, but he doesn’t even hardly notice, haphazardly jerking Hawks off through every spasm.

Finally, the overstimulation is too much for them, and everything stops…stillness pollutes the bedroom, save for Dabi and Hawks’ chests heaving with each intake of breath and sigh of relief.

Dabi’s vision is blurry, the alcohol slowly leaking out of his system as his Quirk finishes processing it. He should be completely sober in a few minutes, long enough for the afterglow to wear off. He vaguely registers Hawks lifting off of him, his own dick falling limp against his thigh as Hawks crawls forward, leaning down to press a gentle kiss to Dabi’s lips. 

The villain’s eyes close, letting the blackness envelop him as he moves his lips to complement the hero’s. He can barely taste the sweat on Hawks, but it’s enough to confirm that this isn’t a dream. Dabi lazily wipes the come off his hand and onto the sheets beside him. He’ll worry about cleaning up tomorrow; right now, he wants to live forever in this moment. This moment of temporary bliss with someone who’s making him feel wanted … seen … loved ? That’s probably the wrong word to use, but Touya doesn’t care. The man was so touch-starved it’s a wonder the mere lack of hugs hadn’t killed him, but Dabi didn’t need to reveal that to anyone else. He didn’t need to reveal just how desperate he really was for the attention. They didn’t need to know that he clung to it like a moth to a candle. When he opens his eyes, Hawks is smiling at him. 

BZZT! BZZT!

Hawks’ phone vibrates in his pants pocket, and a feather pulls it out, bringing it to Hawks, whose forehead wrinkles when he reads the message. He sighs as he pushes himself off of Dabi, getting ready to swing his legs over the side of the bed.

“This was fun, Dabi, but, I’ve gotta head out-”

“Don’t leave,” The words come out as a desperate hiccup, embarrassing and full of fear that Hawks has never seen on Dabi’s face or heard on his lips before.

Hawks freezes when he sees the empty expression in Dabi’s eyes, longing for connection…for any sense of security. This wasn’t the villain he was used to spending time with. Hawks expected him to just roll over and sleep without so much as a “thank you” for everything he just did to him. 

“Please, don’t leave,” Dabi repeats, eyes distant and welling with bloody tears. His mask is slipping…Hawks is seeing Touya . It puts a pit in his stomach as the alcohol starts to wear off. He’s being too vulnerable. He needs to shut up and act like none of this mattered. He grits his teeth, tongue heavy in his mouth as he blinks away the crimson beads. Silence…silence is the clearest option. If he takes it back, it’s acknowledging that it happened. 

Hawks doesn’t say a word about it, letting the thoughts stew in his brain as he begrudgingly sinks back into bed beside Dabi, hating that he’s going to have to explain himself to his handler. The villain grips the sheets, staring at the ceiling as the numbness consumes his body, unable to feel the warmth of the hero snuggling next to him. It floods his veins, hardening his heart and reminding him of one simple fact. Everyone leaves him eventually…and he will never be enough for anyone to want to stick around.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 2: Home

It had been five years since the war ended. Five long years that Touya had spent in an asylum of a hospital, watching from the other side of a glass tube, occasionally being let out to prevent his muscles from completely atrophying once the surgeries gave him a decent range of motion…or to eat soba with his youngest brother. Once again, his body wasn’t supposed to last a month, much less years. Touya thrived on proving other people wrong…and he’d done it again.

The hospital had thoroughly milked Enji Todoroki dry. Enji Todoroki’s alleged “atonement” involved pouring money into the best doctors and researchers the world had to offer…and…with surgery after surgery, Touya began to look like himself again. Compared to the last time he’d been turned into a burning corpse, the extra two years of rehabilitation and work made a drastic difference.

Within the first year, Touya went from being able to speak only a few minutes a day to holding a conversation for a full half hour. Now, he can yap as much as he did when he was a little kid, which is unfortunate for everyone else’s ears. Shoto, however, doesn’t mind. Touya always manages to fill the silence that Shoto quietly occupies, and he’s more than happy to listen. 

Natsuo was the one who had the hardest time coming around…and, after about a year and a half, Touya began to come to terms with why. The sibling that he had the closest bond with fell into the path of his anger, and Touya himself cringed when he remembered how he bragged about almost having him killed.

The rage still lurks below the surface, but Touya’s taking steps to keep his anger in check. Therapy had worked wonders. Once the doctors realized Touya wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon, Rei petitioned for Touya to talk to a therapist to get him to open up more. 

The first session fundamentally shifted the world for Touya because, for the first time since his reveal, someone from the outside actually acknowledged that he was abused. Touya believed no one cared; the public had only given a shit because Dabi was a villain. They hadn’t cared about Endeavor’s sins against his family. To hear someone voice that his pain and anger were real and valid felt liberating. 

When he finally got full control of his motor skills again, Touya wrote Natsuo a letter; he showed up to visit him a few weeks later. It was a rough reunion; there was a lot of yelling on Natsuo’s part. For once in his life, Touya kept his mouth shut.

He knew Natsuo had a right to be angry. All he could do was apologize and explain why he did what he did. Natsuo’s relationship with Touya was going to take time to be repaired; it wasn’t something he could fix overnight. Besides, he had a new life now with his wife. Touya understood. 

Fuyumi always brought such a bright smile with her behind her glasses during her visits. She often came with a basket that the workers would either confiscate or sift through to pick and choose what Touya got. Touya used to see Fuyumi as just another chess piece that got in his way growing up…but…now…it’s different.

No one else brings things for him.

Touya often asks her why she decided to waste her time teaching brats, but she just brushes it off, changing the subject. 

Fuyumi was the first person other than Shoto to learn that Touya had in fact come back to the house. He felt obligated to tell her. After all, he hadn't just left her with the burden of being the oldest sibling once…but twice.

Fuyumi broke down halfway through, sobbing about how she thought she was seeing things when she saw a shadow in his old room that day. One minute, Touya was standing in front of his altar, and then, he was gone in the blink of an eye. A few months later, Touya opened up even more to her. 

|

“I’m sorry for calling you and Mom useless.” The throaty rasp echoes from the tube, reluctant and crackly. Fuyumi stands in front of the glass, peering at her older brother through the darkness. 

“When did you do that?” She raises her eyebrow, caught off guard by the sudden apology as she smooths her dress.

“A lot…before Sekoto,” Touya admits. 

“Oh…,” His sister trails off, lips pursed. 

“I don’t think that anymore. Think it was just Dad. His views. Toga and Magne weren’t useless. Changed my mind,” Touya speaks slowly, trying to articulate with his new lips. They’d finally finished the facial reconstruction surgeries, and he’d just gotten the bandages off the day before, just in time for Fuyumi’s biweekly visit. 

 |

Rei Todoroki held the record for the most visits to Touya Todoroki, the former supervillain known as Dabi. She coordinated with the rest of her children to ensure they still got their time out of the week in the early stages of Touya’s rehabilitation. She didn’t care that Touya could only speak a few sentences; seeing her eldest child alive and breathing was a blessing in disguise. Their first private meeting was tearful, but it gave Rei unimaginable hope. When she saw her son crying real tears, not blood, she knew he was going to survive, and demanded Enji to put as much money into his recovery as possible.

Not that Touya would show a shred of gratitude to his excuse for a father…too little too late. Touya didn’t want to see him, regardless of Enji’s promise to stay by his side until the end of his days. He was a coward, a fraud, and an abusive piece of shit for lack of better words. Touya would see his father in hell, just like he’d promised. Until then, he didn’t care if they breathed the same air on the same planet…at least, that’s what he kept telling himself.

He hated that a part of him still loved his father; he was latched on like a leech, disgusting hope bubbling in his stomach. But his memories were too powerful for him to ignore. Touya couldn’t separate himself from the neglect.

The first few times Enji showed up, Touya ignored him…and it soon became clear that he didn’t outwardly care anymore about his father’s approval. Now, Enji was living in the old Todoroki house with a caretaker where he wouldn’t be a problem, divorced from Rei and mulling over his own consequences. Truth be told, Touya still doesn’t understand why he isn’t behind bars…and he regretfully knows his questions will never be answered. 

His hair had grown back to the same style from when he was thirteen; it's soft, white, fluffy, and always hanging in his face to the point where it's borderline annoying. His tear ducts were fully functioning again, which was simultaneously relieving and irritating; he could easily fall into the trap of being the crybaby of the family again.

His skin was still mismatched like it had been when he’d woken up the first time; after all, Touya doubted they could do a better cosmetic job than Ujiko. However, they had succeeded in restoring the nerve damage after several breakthroughs. Touya finally had physical feeling. 

Once Touya’s doctors assured the staff he was no longer a danger, they removed the metal bindings keeping his limb strapped to his side; they couldn’t restore his right arm, so they developed a prosthetic one. 

The prosthesis felt…alien. An extension of his body made up of alloys and other shit he can’t give names to. He’s gotten along just fine with it so far.

They’d been working on it since they realized Touya wasn’t keen on dying, and he’d gotten to test it out for the past year whenever he’d be released to spend time with Shoto. He’d exploded his right arm on purpose during the fight, opting to keep his dominant hand. It seemed like a fantastic idea at the time…but…then again…he hadn’t planned to survive. He hadn’t planned for anyone to survive.

Touya feels like every day is whiplash. His heart is under constant monitoring; the doctors are worried it’ll freeze solid or melt at a moment’s notice.

His body isn’t used to harboring both sides of the family Quirks, and he’s still having trouble believing that he has both. Since his Quirk Awakening, the facility kept him doped up with Quirk suppressants, for his safety and for theirs…mostly theirs.

The chest strap of the heart monitor still feels uncomfortably tight…something he’s going to have to get used to.

Feeling was something he was going to need to get used to. 

…

…

“Todoroki Touya,” The worker’s voice bellows, and Touya steps forward, zoning into reality. He’d been lost in his own thoughts all day, mulling over the fact that he’s finally being released.

One of the first things Touya wanted to do when he got out was get new piercings… that was something the doctors hadn’t prioritized, so his helices and triple high nostril were missing from his new flesh. He’d have to find some seedy place to get them later this week; today is his coming home party that his family hasn’t been able to shut up about. Originally, it was supposed to be a surprise, but Shoto hadn’t gotten the memo. 

Ker-CHICK!

Touya’s jaw drops in a silent gasp as they shoot the tracker implants into his neck. Pain was another thing he was going to have to get used to. He hadn’t felt physical pain in so long…it was weird. 

“Protocol,” The guard huffs, and Touya shrugs, staring beneath thick eyelashes. He didn’t blame them. The guard nods toward the end of the hallway, and Touya walks past, still handcuffed and lucid. 

Touya can’t wait to get out of these gaudy prison scrubs. Fuyumi and his mother had shown him some outfits online and let him pick out something that he could change into when he got home. He feels like it’s silly to be chomping at the bit for soft clothes, but these thin itchy scrubs have been the bane of his existence since he regained feeling in his skin.

He wonders if the others were given such a shitty wardrobe? Touya hadn’t been allowed to ask any questions about his fellow League members; he’d been answered with cold silence whenever he tried…and Shoto said he wasn’t allowed to disclose anything. 

‘I just hope they fucking made it…,’ Touya thinks to himself, remembering his ragtag found family after so many years of living alone on the street. Now…he’s going to be with his blood family. He wouldn’t be lounging around a bar, drinking his troubles away while laughing about petty arson. He’d be sitting at a table, eating dinner with his mother, his youngest brother, and his little sister.

Maybe he could figure out a way to get in touch with Himiko…he finds himself worrying about her the most. She was a total psycho, but she was his total psycho, his unspoken little sister.

He’d let her paint his nails when she begged incessantly. He’d helped her draw faces and insults on the other members with lipstick while they were sleeping. He’d helped her fix her hair the way she wanted, pulling it in those tight space buns that would have been nearly impossible if Touya hadn’t been adept at dissecting YouTube tutorials. Toga was just as much his sister in his eyes as Fuyumi. 

Touya waits patiently at the door at the end of the hallway, turning his wrists and wincing at the tightness of the cuffs. The green light above the door illuminates, and they slowly swing open, allowing two staff members to walk through. One stands directly in front of him, brandishing a taser. Even though they’re letting him out, they don’t trust him. Typical.

The other man walks behind Touya and begins clicking through the cuffs to unlock them.

“You’ll be able to get your belongings at the front. Remember to take the Quirk suppressants as instructed. It’s medication, so it’s important to follow the instructions. You’ll have to wean yourself off of them or you won’t be able to-”

“Control my Quirk. Yeah. Got it. As if I was good at that before anyway,” Touya scoffs sarcastically, flexing his hands once the cuffs fall free from his wrists. 

The staff member falls silent, lips pulled into a thin line that proves he’s stopping himself from reprimanding Touya’s smartass comment. People are still afraid of him. Touya isn’t sure if he’s happy about that or not. It’ll mean people will leave him alone, sure…hopefully. 

Touya brushes past the two workers who eye him warily, following the signs toward the discharge station. This facility had grown to replace Tartarus in the past few years, and it felt like a new maze every time he was allowed to roam the halls. It isn’t long before he stops at the final set of doors.

Touya takes a deep breath before raising his prosthetic arm. The silver glares from the overhead lights, making him squint as he pushes open the door, recoiling at the harsh lighting of the lobby area. 

“Touya!”

When his eyes adjust, he comes face to face with his mother. His heart twists. This is the closest he’s seen her; he was only allowed out of his holding tank or cell when Shoto was the visitor.

Her scar is gnarly up close, slicing across her face and spreading like fire; it makes a pit hollow out in Touya’s stomach. He put that there…whether he meant to or not. The flames of his supernova-like predicament from the final fight had consumed everything…if it hadn’t been for Rei, Natsuo, and Fuyumi…he would’ve died in that explosion. 

Her hair had grown back to just below her shoulders just like Fuyumi’s. Touya’s sister jumps up from her seat in the lobby and rushes forward with a bouquet of flowers to Touya’s chagrin. 

“What’s with those?” Touya mutters pointedly, trying to withhold any cutting remarks. She’s trying…the fact that his family is trying speaks volumes to him. It’s no longer empty words and promises. 

“Oh, I figured we’d brighten up the house! Mom and I fixed up your new room!” Fuyumi smiles before covering her mouth with her hand, “Oh, shoot! That was gonna be a surprise!”

“It’s alright, dear,” Rei smiles warmly. 

“Hey.”

Touya spins around at the sound of Shoto’s voice, and notices he's holding a duffel bag. 

“I got your things. I wanted to make sure they actually gave back all of your stuff,” He admits, the corners of his mouth pointing upward softly. Touya’s heart skips when he realizes Natsuo didn’t show up. It made sense.

He has his own life and his own family now. Rei, Shoto, and Fuyumi are the only ones living in the new house…and now…Touya’s going to be living there too. He’s not really sure what his next steps are going to be yet. It’s not like he can just get a normal job after being one of Japan’s most feared villains of the generation. Hell, he doesn’t even have proper education past middle school.

…

…

The car ride home was less than ideal, primarily due to Touya’s motion sickness. He managed to survive the car ride without incident, but only after he begged Fuyumi to drive ten under the speed limit.

Touya’s breath is taken away just by the outside of the house as they pull up to the property. Rei planted Rindou flowers all along the outside garden, creating a sea of cerulean. Fuyumi parks in the garage, and, finally, the car stops. 

Shoto hops out of the car, grabbing Touya by the wrist and pulling him outside. Touya takes in his surroundings, squinting in the fading sunlight as Shoto leads him around the side of the house through a door.

The living room is enormous, and the largest television Touya’s ever laid eyes on is mounted on the wall. He doesn’t get much time to look around as Shoto continues to drag him along as soon as they kick off their shoes. Shoto opens another door, leading to a hallway with art pieces adorning the walls. The colors blur as Shoto pulls him up a staircase leading to the second floor. 

“Can we slow down?” Touya blurts. 

“On a schedule,” Shoto mutters, making Touya raise an eyebrow. 

“Schedule?” Touya echoes, but Shoto appears to ignore him, his grip tightening on Touya’s wrist. Finally, they reach a door…with a crude sign that reads “Touya-nii” on it. 

“Here,” Shoto releases his grip on Touya’s hand and unceremoniously flings the door open, stepping aside for Touya to walk in first. 

He inches into the room, socks sliding against the hardwood as he takes in the space. Fuyumi and his mother set up a desk for him in the corner, decorated with an empty vase (probably to be filled with the flowers Fuyumi bought), a picture of the family from many moons ago (with their father quite obviously cropped out), and Touya’s old comics and Pro Hero books. Shoto sets the duffel bag in the middle of the desk while Touya keeps exploring. He stops when he sees the bed. 

The thin mattress is covered by his baby blanket; the yellow and blue stars are faded with age. It looks incredibly tacky, but it makes warmth bloom in Touya’s chest. He can’t believe they even kept that. There’s another handmade sign leaning against the back wall that reads:

WELCOME HOME :)

The only other aspect of the room that stands out is the bookshelf littered with Touya’s old belongings…he recognizes them from his altar in their old house. 

Touya flinches for a moment, the memory of praying in front of his own altar flashing across his vision. 

“Do you like it?” Fuyumi’s voice sounds hopeful as Touya turns around to see them standing by the desk. 

“Your new clothes are in the closet! I’ll go start dinner!” Fuyumi grins cheekily as she leaves the bedroom.

“You just get settled in, sweetheart,” Rei whispers, walking up to Touya and kissing him on the cheek before she slips out of the room, followed by Shoto, who closes the door behind them. 

Touya walks to the closet, jerking it open to see a pair of black cotton drawstring pants and a simple, soft gray sweatshirt with a black cat on it. He reaches up inside the sleeves, temporarily indulging in the gentle sensation of the fabric rubbing between the pads of his fingers. It definitely is going to feel better than these stupid jailhouse scrubs.

Touya never realized how much of the world he missed when his tactile senses were numbed.

He strips out of the old clothes, tossing them into the corner of the room before he slips on the new outfit. He sighs in relief, feeling the itchiness fade before walking up to the mirror.

It fits. Good. He was worried he’d told Fuyumi the wrong sizes.

He turns his attention to the bag on his desk…his belongings from the facility. 

Touya opens up the duffel bag, his heart stilling when he sees the fireproof synthetic fabric spilling out. He lifts the jacket up, examining the stitching and conductor cuffs; it’s his jacket from the first war. They must’ve raided all of the hideouts.

It’s the jacket that he was wearing during his vision…dissociation…whatever it was before he practically exploded. The image of himself as a hero with his family was burned into his brain…but…Shoto wasn’t in that fantasy.

Over the past few years, Touya had grown to realize how much he appreciated his little brother, and it made his heart pang that he directed his anger at him for so long.

Touya walks over to the closet, putting the jacket on a coat hanger before walking back to the duffel. The boots and stitched leather pants are the only other notable things in the dark void besides his clear bag of medications. 

Touya pulls out the bottle of Quirk suppressants, reading the instructions on the side of the bottle.

TAKE 1 PILL EVERY 12 HOURS FOR 1 WEEK. THEN TAKE 1 PILL EVERY 24 HOURS FOR 5 DAYS. THEN TAKE AS NEEDED. REFILLED UPON REQUEST. 

Touya sighs as he opens the bottle, shaking a pill out into his palm. He puts it in his mouth, letting the pill dissolve on his tongue and swallowing the bittersweet taste. 

‘I should probably see if I can help with dinner…might as well make myself useful,’ Touya thinks to himself as he walks out of his room. He gets to the top of the staircase when-

Knock. Knock. Knock. 

The sound echoes through the household.

“Oh dear,” Rei’s voice sounds strained. 

“He’s early!” Fuyumi gasps. 

“He used to be the fastest Pro alive, and you didn’t think he’d be early ?” Shoto bluntly replies. 

‘Fastest Pro alive? Wait…’

Touya’s heart races as he slowly makes his way down the staircase. 

The last time he was face-to-face with Keigo Takami, he was trying to charbroil him for murdering his friend and breaking his heart…for being a lying traitor…for confirming everything Dabi already knew but didn’t want to face.

The sex meant nothing. The kisses meant nothing. Keigo was playing with him like a toy to be used and cast aside. 

He’d talked to his therapist about Keigo…about how he thinks that’s the first time he felt romantic love for another person. The burning devotion turned to seething hatred the moment Hawks murdered Jin Bubaigawara.

He’d fully mourned Jin during these five years, processing the death, wondering why Keigo had chosen to target Dabi for intel.

Dabi wondered if he meant anything to Keigo, even though he knew he probably didn’t. He knew Hawks probably didn’t think about him…knew he was probably glad he was locked up for so long. 

For a while, Touya wrestled with whether or not he was upset that he failed to finish Hawks off. He felt so many conflicting passionate emotions toward him. It felt chaotic…unstable…nuclear, even. Sometimes he felt consumed with regret for hurting him, and others he found himself reliving the betrayal.

When Touya finally reaches the bottom of the stairs, he sees Keigo standing in the living room. He’s wearing a suit with a katana bag strap draped across his chest.

Keigo Takami looks up…and his golden gaze meets Touya’s turquoise. 

Touya’s heart monitor beeps twice, giving himself away by signaling an elevated heart rate. He needs to sit down.

For half a second, he wonders if he’ll just black out and get concussed on the stairs like an idiot. Instead, he slowly sinks to sit down on the final step, loathing how weak he must appear. 

“What are you doing here?” Touya manages to squeak out, his chest feeling tight. 

Keigo opens his mouth to speak, staring at Touya in disbelief. His eyes scan over the skin grafts before falling to his prosthetic arm. Touya feels naked.

“Hawks! Come help me in the kitchen!” Fuyumi materializes, whisking Hawks out of sight without a word. The heart monitor keeps beeping. 

“Touya?” 

His mother’s voice kisses his ears, soothing his erratic heartbeat as Touya zones back into the real world, pulling himself out of memories as she puts her hands on his knees. 

“Why is he here?” Touya’s voice sounds pathetic, leaving his lips in a broken mumble. His mother seems shocked that he doesn’t sound angry. Tears well up in Touya’s eyes, and he hurriedly wipes them away.

He can’t let Keigo know he’s crying over him. 

Rei’s eyebrows furrow when she notices the tears, but she chooses not to bring attention to them. 

“He’s here to discuss…Hero Commission business with you, Touya.”

‘The Commission?’

“Didn’t he lose his fucking Quirk to All For One?” Touya sniffs indignantly. 

“Touya! Language!” Rei hisses. 

Touya mumbles a half-hearted apology. 

“Hawks is the HPSC President now,” Rei explains. 

Touya’s heart monitor whines again. 

‘Why would he do that? After everything they put him through? Why the fuck would he ever accept that position? After they groomed him to be a glorified brainwashed soldier to do their dirty work?’ 

Touya shouldn’t care…he shouldn’t care what Keigo does. He shouldn’t care how it affects him or his past. Keigo has no affiliation with Touya. They had a one-night stand. He was an old situationship.

Touya swallows. 

“He couldn’t wait until tomorrow?” He groans. 

“He wants to talk to you about this as soon as possible, honey,” Rei sighs, “I had a long talk with him. I think…I think it’ll be good for you.”

‘Keigo talked to my mom ? What the fuck did he tell her? Did he tell her about us ? Us…what am I thinking? There was never an us…’ 

“Okay.”

…

…

“Keigo.”

“Touya.” 

The two sit in tense silence on opposite sides of the table, facing one another with an unspoken uncertainty. The rest of the family remains in the kitchen, trying not to eavesdrop, but most definitely hanging on to every word the two speak. 

“So…do I call you Mister President now or-”

“Keigo is fine,” He admits, straightening up in the chair. He looks tired, but he’s still as annoyingly smiley as ever. 

“I’m,” Keigo takes a deliberate breath, “I’m glad you were able to recover smoothly.”

“Me too…,” Touya trails off, slightly disgusted with the awkward small talk. 

“I have a proposition for you,” Keigo clears his throat, and Touya raises his eyebrow. 

“Oh?” He huffs mockingly. He hates that Keigo is speaking with such formality. It’s unbecoming. It’s unlike Keigo.

It’s another mask for Keigo Takami. Touya can see right through it. They know each other more intimately than this. This is stupid. 

“Well…you’re allowed to say no…you need to know you’re allowed to say no and that will be one hundred percent acceptable.”

“Spit it out,” Touya scoffs, curiosity suddenly piquing. 

“I’ve consulted with a number of members of Class 2-A of UA and the higher-ups. And…you’ve shown considerable progress mentally and emotionally…and physically, obviously, but. Based on your psychological evaluations…and…and your…um…past aspirations. I’m-”

“Cut the shit, what is it?” Touya taps his foot impatiently. 

“You’re eligible for the program I put together. The new villain rehabilitation program…we’re making former villains into heroes.”

[mirage-of-the-virtuoso]

Alright, I need input on something, just to get closure, and I feel like I am driving myself crazy over something that probably isn't that big of a deal. The reason why I make this poll under the cut:

Some time ago, like in the last year, year and a half maybe, I had joined a strike through lfg for OLC, and the only thing that the comm had listed was for the players to be experienced.

To me, experienced meant "knew the mechanics of the fight" and "unlikely to die if something got messed up via weirdly timed mechanics"

So I joined. This commander was complaining about people joining and ditching on the first wipe they got. Felt a little sketch, but I was still relatively new in terms of joining lfg for daily strikes. So I thought I was imagining things.

As someone who's still new and relatively inexperienced (and frankly horrible at build crafting), I thought just knowing the mechanics and following the commander should have been enough.

With this comm, apparently not.

The moment we started, they were demanding to know what my comp was in the middle of the fight. Maybe I just can't multitask in these types of games, but I cannot type and fight at the same time, because any moment spent typing is less dps I'm outputting. So I didn't respond.

I got told after we wiped that I should go back to the training tab in lfg (which, even if I agreed - which I didn't - no one was doing once a strike had been out for a couple of months, and therefore no chance of improvement otherwise, considering my schedule), and had rattled off numbers that I had zero knowledge of knowing. (According to what they were rattling off, I was apparently doing 3k dps on a very poorly built virtuoso, which I was quickly corrected by a trusted friend where the fault was. That's what happens when you put a soloist with no prior experience into endgame content, who also was unaware of certain etiquette with joining squads)

Am I crazy for blocking and reporting that person for being what I thought was misleading in their lfg post? Because, if experienced meant "must have a meta build" even though I barely had resources to even have ascended armor (which turned out to be the wrong stats), then not a lot of people are going to get the experience of endgame content like that (obviously in regards to people who want that experience)

Edit: for further clarity, this was for daily normal run OLC (priority strike that day I think), so idk why this comm was so worked up over a fairly new-ish player not being full meta 30-40k dps, esp someone who was never into endgame content before

Edit 2: Don't be afraid to tell me I'm in the wrong. I made this poll to get perspective for myself. I have since grown from this, and while it was a hard experience for me to go through, it was an important lesson for me - as a newer endgame player - to get a better understanding of the endgame community and the expectations

[ennn]

Thank you for answering my fandom ask! (And never apologize for the time it takes – your thoughts are always worth the wait.) I was wondering if you would elaborate on how you would change Agatha's trial in episode 5? (And apologies if I missed this in your meta tag!)

Thank you for your kind words! Always happy to share my thoughts to a listening ear. I've not talked about this before so you didn't miss anything, not to worry.

Sooo I don’t have issues with the main story beats they wanted to hit in this episode i.e. the coven that was just starting to bond starting to unravel, Alice’s tragic death, Agatha feeling what might be remorse for murdering a witch in centuries, Billy’s reveal.

What I would change boils down to two main areas:

The pacing was too blisteringly fast: I wanted characters to have a bit more time to react to things happening and give weight to their choices

The tone they wanted to hit seemed unclear — which is admittedly always a challenge for a show constantly oscillating between comedy and drama.

For example, for the scene where the coven starts turning against Agatha after the ouija board spells out "punish Agatha" – I personally would have had Jen appear more more angry, frustrated, and fear-driven compared to what we got, which seemed more vengeful and sadistic and gleeful.

Now I totally get why Jen would be the first one to turn against Agatha—it's absolutely in character for her at this point—but I've appreciated a stronger focus on how this was being done out of a need for survival and anger at Agatha's crimes and callousness.

I would have also appreciated even a little bit of resistence or questioning from Alice, the youngest and least jaded witch apart from Billy, and who is also a protection witch. Even one line where she says something to the effect of "This feels wrong?" or "Are we sure about this?" would have helped, I think.

Basically instead of having the whole coven immediately pile on Agatha, have a somewhat longer scene where they go back-and-forth a bit, with a serious discussion on how the punishment should go (if you want to slip a funny moment in there, you could use Rio as a wild card). Agatha could even aggravate them further, making the situation worse. Could have applied more pressure with the timer, etc.

I know Schaeffer has mentioned that a number of exposition lines were cut from the episode to maintain pacing and emotion and she's mentioned that some of the questions viewers have wondered about are addressed by those lines. I'm really curious what those lines were exactly.

I do know they cut out some lines about Rio explaining why she hates ghosts—that one I get because it's pretty intuitive why Death would hate ghosts. But I get a sense there were probably more lines cut.

From a thematic standpoint, I think it would have been interesting for them to explore and touch on that idea of witches having to be selfish to survive, in a world that isn't kind to witches. Jen and Lilia also deal in lies, but they've also survived terrible things. Get into that generational, cultural divide.

I think having more of these conversations — just a bit more character dialogue — would have helped ground the episode more. And also help justify why Billy lashes out at Jen and Lilia as well later.

[boiwcndr]

2024 Writing Review

i wasn't tagged by anyone, but i stole this from @jjohnnyutah! if you haven't done this yet, then you should totally do it <3

number of stories posted to ao3: three.

word count posted for last year: 6,349. considering that the last time i posted any fics on ao3 was 2021... we'll take it.

fandoms i wrote for: detective comics, detective conan / magic kaito.

pairings: sagukai for detective conan / magic kaito! all of my dc stuff was gen.

stories with the most kudos, bookmarks, and comment threads: false salvation has the most kudos (49) but eyes so blue has the most bookmarks (19) and comment threads (5).

work i'm most proud of (and why): probably mistletoe kisses because i started writing that in... 2022, i think? and it took me literally two years to write that small ass one-shot because i just could not put down my thoughts into words.

word i'm least proud of (and why): the same as the one i'm most proud of, mistletoe kisses, because it took me literally two years to write 2k words. 😭 i do think false salvation has some pretty awkward writing, but it was a ventfic, so i wasn't trying to be too perfectionate with that one.

share or describe a favourite review you received: i feel like i make it no secret that @vechter is, like, one of my favourite fanfic authors, so when vech commented about how she loved my voice for bruce in eyes so blue, i just gushed to all hell. especially since i lack confidence in writing bruce.

a time when writing was really, really hard: this entire year LOL. i don't really write a whole lot of fanfics even though i have a lot of ideas (again, the last time i posted anything was in 2021), and so just writing to post on ao3 again was kinda daunting. i roleplay a lot more than i write fic.

a scene or character you wrote that surprised you: the idea that mary had some idea of the future in eyes so blue, or, at least, could tell that holding dick as a baby was important to bruce. some of my mutuals are aware that i was agonising over how to get mary to even hand baby!dick to bruce in the first place, and then that idea just spoke to me.

a favourite excerpt of your writing: i'm taking this from mistletoe kisses but i think this is pretty funny:

how did you grow as a writer last year: i don't think i did LOL. i think some parts of my prose regress as time goes on (i started going on tangents, my ability to keep my tenses consistent throughout a work has gotten worse), but i do think that my characterisation for dick has gotten a lot better from when i used to only write young justice tv fanfics for him.

how do you hope to grow this year: by actually writing fanfics. ✌🏼

who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer: again, i'm more of a roleplayer than a fic writer, and so i genuinely think that a few of my detective conan / magic kaito mutuals on my roleplay blog (wen, ro, and bex) have influenced me in fantastic ways and has helped my writing grow exponentially. all three of them are just such amazing writers that i feel myself getting better as i try to match their level of prose. genuinely just... they're so good. i do think meta and fanfic writers like @hood-ex, @vechter, @jjohnnyutah, @dustorange, and @mysterycitrus (sorry to tag you even though we're not mutuals, but at least it's a compliment?) have helped strengthen my understanding of dc characters exponentially as well. reading their works and just living in their universes that they've created or reading their understanding of the panels have made me thought of the characters in ways that i never have before or because they matched with my own thoughts, i ended up gaining confidence in my own interpretation of the events and characterisations. genuinely some of the best fanfic authors i have ever had the pleasure of reading.

anything from your real life show up in your writing last year: uh, i was forcibly outed to my extended family, and because of that, i wrote a vent fic where the events of nightwing 93 was outed to the batfam. it was also in part because i was also tired of the way that nightwing 93 fics tend to go (dick being forced to admit what happened to him is shown to be a "positive" thing, the importance is on how the other characters react).

any new wisdom you can share with other writers: genuinely, even if you think it's terrible, write a little bit every single day. set a manageable goal, even if it's only 1 word a day. the more you write, the more confidence you have, and the less your skills deteriate as you wait for a slump to be over. even if it isn't good, write!!!

any projects you're looking to starting (or finishing) this year: i will one day write the last part of the sagukai trilogy i started in 2016. kaito is just being a little bitch boy.

[lutethebodies]

Last Lines

Tagged by @trappedinafantasy37 here (thank you!).

I know I said I would be starting my first fic this year, but while I've been outlining it and unloading a few scenes here and there, I don't have anything I'm happy enough with to share (yet). As for my own tagging: I'll open it up for anyone to do after me.

So if it's cool I'm gonna fall back on song lyrics (like I did once before), with a caveat: one aspect of my Tav/Minthara fic is about how they're both performers post-BG3, a hearts-and-minds ploy as part of their long game to take over the city.

My Tav is the bard, so the songs began with him, but that doesn't mean Minthara can't sing and play on them, and so she's chosen a few instances to take center stage during their lute/lyre duo gigs. One of those instances is for "Exile's End."

Another of my Tavs, the cleric, wrote more about this song here, but its genesis in-world is less relevant to Minthara than what's in it that she can relate to herself—the parts of it she can inhabit and made hers that fuel her performance. To me that's often how it works with a piece of music.

It's also good practice for her to use contractions and loosen up her Common Speech a bit; it's probably her third or fourth language at this point, and while she can use contractions (Emma Gregory said so), she still doesn't do it much.

I should also probably note that none of this is meant to say that she can't compose/perform her own songs. She certainly can! She just took to this one is all. She also might swipe Cannor's lute to play it.

Meta: I tend to write song lyrics (or at least get ideas for them) in batches rather than one at a time. However, there's usually one catalyzing lyric or idea that re-unlocks the process and opens the floodgates. Two years ago, this song was that catalyst.

Anyway, lyrics and a link to music below the cut.

Exile's End

I cannot wait, I cannot wait I cannot wait for exile’s end

I used to be somebody Now I’m just somebody else I could handle a crowd, I could dream out loud And I could not get over myself

I dined on melodrama And now I’m mellow defined I can stay off stage, I can stay disengaged And I’m only reckless in my mind

Cause I’m in no hurry and I won’t pretend That I cannot wait for exile’s end

I used to love to see it And now I just hate to be seen I thought I could be free of my history Yet memory’s still evergreen

So I’m in no hurry and I won’t pretend That I cannot wait for exile’s end

I used to have ambitions And now I just have my doubts My only addiction, fostering fiction, Is always gonna rat me out

A comeback’s a good look, and I’d wear it well, But if anyone’s asking, I can’t tell

Cause I’m in no hurry and I won’t pretend That I cannot wait, I cannot wait I cannot wait for exile’s end

Music here. Thanks for the indulgence.

[tboyblogger]

finally finished the profile for the danseiroido!! this took way too long just because drawing anime headshot is my biggest nightmare... and then ended up not even looking That anime LOL... i've already had a few comics up in the tag (search em to read!) but. a brief intro is that i basically just made them idols (somewhat) and threw them in the same boygroup to write sitcom/4-koma slice of life random jokes, as i always do! they also share the same universe with my entire vocaloid neighborhood setup (but this will - might - be for another day)

there isnt a deep overarching plot as for now, its just daily lives of a boygroup that doesnt really do anything idol-like and occasionally featuring others around them from the vocal synth ville. oh and idk if i can call them a polycule because they dont really think or operate that way But! i do want all of them to fool around and have their own "ship moment" (if you want to call it that? i dont really label these things and i want to write it that way) tldr they all fuck one another. every single ship in the group canon (EXCEPT the obvious anyone x len. timeout for him he got his ass kicked out whenever they do it...)

my concept/idea for it (not much tbh this is just me rediscovering my love for vocaloid - though one can argue it never went away - and started make up random shits for them so its pretty much spontaneous and not a serious project or anything) is a parody of sort on stereotypical otome/bl genres and boygroups and anime tropes and obviously the vocaloid fandom/history. but i dont think i know enough about bl nor anime nor boygroups so at the end of the day its just guys hanging out XD hm i should just tag my other vocaloid stuff something else too considering its an elaborated world now, with these guys in it, but... that... really is for another day...

wait forgot to say also making len the leader is idk vocaloid meta funny or sth since hes the most popular but here hes just a wee child not even allowed to getting involved much (to be fair its cause most of the involvement are either freakish or sexual. or both) hes already more than involved in the irl success go away little boy. but Boom! funny ass kid leading army of 6 gay ass men (one of them isnt even a man. but only when its convenient) (sometimes there are 7 of them)

also: everyone learn vietnamese to understand how funny their viet names are rn

SORRY I KEEP EDITING. but they also have a playlist... just for funsies. some of them are serious canon lore related the rest are probably all shitposts

[thesummerestsolstice]

PLEASE tell me more about "the love of a parent" and "on estel"!!!

(for reference these fics are from my unwritten fics tag game. I'm going to do these in two separate posts; I'll do On Estel here and make another post for "The Love of a Parent" in a couple days.)

Hey Jaz! I should start by saying this probably owes some inspiration to you, since I know you've talked about the "Maeglin in the void" idea before. The premise for "On Estel" is that Earendil has to go into the Void to search for Maeglin's lost spirit.

I don't want this to turn into a whole Maeglin meta so I'll just say that this story is a slight AU in the sense that Maeglin here is a nice, well-respected lord of Gondolin who has a good relationship with his family.

This is also written with the idea that after Maeglin was kidnapped and taken to Angband, he never returned to Gondolin– Sauron did, wearing his form.

So, Maeglin's spirit never comes to Mandos. His body was found in the wreckage of Angband, but his fea is missing, and while it's technically possible for an elf to ignore the Call of Mandos, it's very difficult and unusual.

During and after the War of Wrath, Valinor does send some Maia out to search for any lost elvish souls, and they find a few. But not Maeglin.

Earendil, who still has fond memories of his early childhood mining trips with his "Uncle Mole," isn't willing to give up on Maeglin so easily, and proposes that he goes and searches the Void for Maeglin's spirit.

The Valar say no. Even Earendil is only supposed to check around the Doors of Night to ensure that Morgoth is chained and all is well– a trip deeper into the Void would be extremely dangerous, even for Earendil. And no one else in Valinor sees a single missing spirit as that big of a problem. (Keep in mind that the rest of Maeglin's family is either in Mandos or got lost on the way to Valinor and hasn't arrived yet.)

Naturally, the rest of the story is about Earendil and Elwing conspiring to cover up Earendil's Void expeditions. Earendil starts trying to map out the Void in the hopes of figuring out where his uncle might be hiding, interspersed with scenes of Maeglin, Idril, and baby Earendil mapping out Gondolin's tunnels.

Happy ending, because we all know Earendil's not going to give up until all is well. That's what it means to be the personification of hope for Middle-Earth, after all. :)

[bleeding-star-heart]

These tags on a reblog of my Anders analysis are another problem I have with DA:2's writing

#god i have so many feelings about this#cuz i romanced anders my first playthrough#and i hated that our relationship did a 180 as soon as I was like#“im not gonna let you gaslight me into doing war crimes”#was it OOC?#i don't know#I can't say#I haven't studied anders as a character or taken the time to contemplate him enough to speak on it#but i just know it was such a turn off that i started a new game entirely EDIT: I have removed the word "gaslighting" from this meta owing to the fact that technically, Anders isn't gaslighting, because gaslighting is something different. Gaslighting being trying to make someone doubt their perception of reality, among other things. What Anders ACTUALLY does falls under emotional manipulation. I would say to the OP that yes, indeed, this is VERY "out of character", so to speak. Most definitely for JUSTICE, the spirit inhabiting Anders's body. But also for Anders as well. Think about it: emotionally manipulating one's romantic partner is an inherently unjust thing to do. It is not something two people who respect and love each other do. Yet the spirit of Justice is completely silent when it happens. A being that supposedly embodies nothing but Justice simply...allows his host to guilt his lover into doing something they disagree with. He does not protest or try to stop Anders from engaging in a truly toxic form of emotional manipulation. If written properly, Justice should immediately have called Anders out on this. Which should prompt either an apology from Anders or a long, seemingly one-man argument between the two. But that doesn't happen. In fact, Justice only shows up if you, as Anders's rival, manage to turn him AGAINST blowing up the Chantry. And then, only to railroad Anders back into the role of terrorist. This, combined with Justice's general lack of reaction to any injustice or violation of rights that DOESN'T have to do with mages, causes him to become little more than a cheap plot device. Now as to why I don't believe a properly written Anders would do it, either. Anders at this point in the story is a revolutionary, yes. He is passionate about his cause. But he is also MORE than that. And part of that 'more'-and also WHY he's a revolutionary-is that he was a victim of a controlling, emotionally manipulative institution. One that bombards people like him with all kinds of unhealthy messaging. Messages like: the outside world is guaranteed to hate you, your (unchangeable) nature is inherently wrong and sinful. As well as: you can't trust yourself at all, you are one bad day from being a monster, you need to let us control you for your own good. Anders probably saw more than one person like Keili-that girl in the Mage Origin who actively believes she's evil and prays to 'not be a mage'. He probably encountered a lot of mages with varying degrees of religiously based self-loathing. He probably had some himself. And he lived in the Ferelden Circle. He's also a person who not only left a toxic institution, but actively sees and complains about how toxic the institution is. People who've suffered from toxic environments/relationships and RECOGNIZE how toxic those environments/relationships were, tend to value healthy relationships/environments. They try and work on themselves to remove any lingering psychological effects of that toxicity. It is highly likely that Anders would NOT want to repeat the kind of emotional manipulation he and others were subjected to. While he might not agree with Hawke about methods, Anders would not believe guilt to be a good tactic because guilt is one of the very tactics the Chantry used on him! Guilt about being a target for demonic possession, guilt about what the magisters did, guilt about being a mage in general.

Guilting his partner into agreeing with him, is, essentially, him doing what the Chantry did to him. And if the writers had put any thought into his character, they would have realized that too. And thus, if they were smart, or and simply give the player the option to permanently decline the quest with no negative consequences. The other option is to lean into that, and purposefully make it a character flaw, that he's too blinded by trauma to see that. But the writers did NOT have the time to be able to successfully pull that off. Thus, yeah. They make Anders, who suffered from religious based emotional manipulation...into someone who emotionally manipulates his partners. Which is yet another thing done in the name of a less-than-stellar ending and plot beat. EDIT: I have removed the word "gaslighting" from my part of this meta owing to the fact that technically, Anders isn't gaslighting Hawke, because gaslighting is something different. Gaslighting being trying to make someone doubt their perception of reality, among other things. What Anders ACTUALLY does falls under emotional manipulation. Which I still don't believe a properly written Anders OR Justice would do, for the reasons stated above.

[nonsensicalramblings79]

Dead Seagull: Do Not Eat – Albatrosses, Seagulls, and Guilt in Our Flag Means Death

(for future reference: written 10/6/2023, ~36-48 hours after the first 3 episodes of S2 were released)

Hi, all! I, like many of you scrolling the #ofmd meta tag, have a head filled with nothing but the Gay Pirates. This has been the case since 12am PST on 10/5/2023 and will remain the case for several months to come. On my 3rd watch-through of the first 3 episodes of season 2 of OFMD, I started paying closer attention to potential symbolism so that I could maybe predict how the rest of the series is going to play out and get a better idea of what’s going on in these little guys’ brains. This post is the introduction to a short series of long posts wherein I rant about symbolism that may or may not be in the show. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: I haven’t written anything even close to a literary analysis since high school, and I generally don’t know wtf I’m talking about. I’m just having a lot of very normal thoughts about The Pirate Show and I need to put them somewhere; if anyone has more ideas relating to this please add to it!! And to the best of my knowledge, the thoughts I express here are my own – please let me know if there are other analyses that say similar things that I should link to.

TWs: animal death, blood, eating animals, starvation, emotional abuse, physical abuse, gunshot injuries, suicidal ideation, canon-typical mental health problems

MAJOR OFMD SPOILERS THROUGH S2E03!!!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What originally prompted this whole rabbit-hole exploration was the conversation that Ed has with Frenchie at the end of s2e01.

…

You know there's a bird that never touches ground?

It's born in the air. Never once lands. Spends its entire existence in the sky. …

As Frenchie astutely notes, this seems…kind of impossible. How could a bird be born in the air? I could see potentially never landing, but surely every bird has to come down at some point to lay eggs (or to hatch from them), right? So I did a quick Google search for birds that spend their whole lives in the air, and the first result that came up was the common swift, which apparently spends up to 10 months out of the year in the air, never once landing (or only landing very occasionally) during that time. They catch food in the air, sleep while drifting on air currents, mate in the sky, and only land to nest and lay their eggs.

So that seemed…promising? I guess? But not exactly what Ed was talking about. After all, these birds aren’t “born in the air,” and they certainly don’t spend their entire life without landing. And this still could be what Ed was talking about; it matches fairly closely, and it’s possible that whatever Ed heard was either mis-told, misheard, or intentionally exaggerated. But I think there’s a more elegant answer to what bird Ed is referencing here, and it has much more potential for analysis than the common swift: the albatross.

This is the second thing that I found while searching, and this piqued my interest much more than the last result, since - as many of you probably know, spending time reading tumblr metas – the albatross is an extremely pervasive metaphor in literature. It usually represents a psychological burden that one has taken on, most often as a result of having made a mistake that resulted in others getting hurt. I’ll go into more detail about the source of this symbol in a little bit, but the basic gist is that a dead albatross gets hung around one’s neck until whatever guilt they have is resolved – albatrosses are huge birds, so this represents an enormous weight.

Before I go on, I’ll add that, at first glance, the albatross actually seems to fit Ed’s description less well than the common swift does – albatrosses are known for being able to glide for a long, long time, but they do land…on the water. One of the first things that comes up when you search for “birds that never land” is that albatrosses spend years and years never landing on shore. There’s a similar problem here to the common swift in that no bird actually hatches from an egg while in the air like Ed is implying here. But I would argue that the albatross is indeed what Ed is talking about. Whether he misheard, someone misspoke, or a tale got distorted from it being verbally passed down, Ed is referencing the image of an albatross that spends its entire life above (or on) the sea, never once going to land.

And this fits. In the context of the conversation that Ed is having with Frenchie, Ed is lamenting the fact that he can only exist in one place, fulfilling one role – on the sea, performing the role of Blackbeard. He imagines the life of this fictional albatross as quite lonely, I think, never once leaving the place it has spent its entire life (again, this isn’t exactly how the birds behave, but I believe Ed views them this way based on how he’s interpreted whatever he heard about albatrosses). He’s resigning himself to never leaving his habitat, and quite literally never going back to shore.

“…We’re gonna sail…rob…raise hell forever…and ever…without end.”

Right. So, if I am to be believed, we’ve established that Ed is actually diegetically referencing albatrosses. So what?

Well, as another disclaimer, I’m not 100% sold on these ideas myself. Especially only having the first 3 episodes of S2 to go off of, there’s plenty of time for these ideas to be proven wrong in as few as – checks watch – 6 days. There are lots of different, potentially overlapping, potentially conflicting ways to interpret this information. I’m probably going to split this up into parts, for ease of access and reading. Because all this so far has just been the introduction :))

In one part, I’m going to talk about what is probably the most intentional reference: The Rime of the Ancient Mariner, the original poem that the albatross metaphor is pulled from. Beyond just the link to the “Impossible Birds” conversation, there are some other elements in OFMD that seem like pretty clear references to this poem. Based on references to this poem in popular culture, I suspect that parallels here would be non-diegetic – meant to be apparent to the audience, not to the in-universe characters. Link Here!

Next, I’m going to talk about another poem, simply titled “The Albatross” (French: L’albatros). This particular poem is maybe less likely to have inspired references in OFMD, but if there is an intentional link, this poem reflects a lot of how Ed sees himself and his life thus far. I’ll admit that I’m a bit biased toward this poem since I had to memorize it in French class in high school and it’s stuck with me – but it was also one of the first things on Wikipedia that was linked on the page of the metaphor of the Albatross. Parallels in this poem are what I would suspect to be diegetic – despite it being an anachronism, I think Ed has at some point read this poem, and he relates to the albatross/poet. [Link Here!]

Lastly, there are some loose ends that I’d like to pick up that may not tie into anything, but I feel like they’re worth mentioning, especially as they relate to the albatross metaphors and parallels. This section is going to talk more generally about birds and bird imagery in OFMD, and how these instances can support or refute my albatross theories. [Link will go here: haven't written yet :)]