#i should be in the river tho
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I SHOULD BE IN THE RIVER
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imagine how Mello felt after being the best at Wammy’s for years, the best contender to succeed L, one of the only people there to have ever MET L in person. He knew what he was going to be with his future, his whole LIFE! Then Near turns up. And suddenly this random younger kid is beating him effortlessly, putting in none of the work and dedication that he did, and this person has none of Mello’s flaws, none of his emotions or impulsivity or anything else he was criticised for. All at once the place he was king of was oppressive and cold. He was just another random, nameless Wammy’s kid.
His whole LIFE had been taken from him. Then L dies and he’s told to ‘just get along’ with the person that robbed him unflinchingly of his life’s goal? i understand why he left.
#No hate to Near btw#He think he was too analytical and facts-based to really care about what being The Best was doing to Mello#Like he ^knew^#but it wasn’t HIS fault he was better- so why should he pretend to be sorry for it?#I love my poor boy Mello tho#The more he was criticised for bad behaviour the more he lashed out#He couldn’t help it#Death note#Mello death note#Mello#Mello dn#Mihael Keehl#Nate river#Near death note#Near dn#L lawliet#L death note#Wammys house#wammys boys
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The Cartwright House
#guys I might be a little be stupid bc I saw this long static shots and thought#cool! the camera doesn’t move at all! that’s a really clear look at the rooms! I should make gifs!#cut to me in photoshop;#wait why aren’t they moving.#very into this style of interior design tho#have a visceral need for those William morris strawverry thief curtains#I’m also curious about what file it looks like David’s been reading on his bedside table thing?#Slow Horses#River Cartwright#David Cartwright#my gifs#rook’s gifs
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I want to befriend Kaneki and meet with him and email him forever
#we should do everything together everything should be parallel play#and then when we go our separate ways at the end of the day I want to still email him things#like pictures of succulents and a glimpse under the amazon river#I want to email him pbs eons videos#I can show him coffee shop vlogs and ask “is this u”#in person I’d mostly let him do the talking and decide what to do#take me down the most intimidating alley on a whim after you said we were just buying lunch pls#I want to eat lunch with him so bad 😭😭😭🙏#it’d be kind of awkward though bc he wouldn’t be eating anything he’d just be sipping his coffee#being with Kaneki is the ultimate dream I wanna see his morning irritation I want to be pleasantly startled by him with his quiet footsteps#& get to ask him about what he’s reading#or how his training is going#or whatever he’s doing#I would ask him how he’d rate vacuuming out of 10 and if he gives it below a 5 will vacuum his house#I feel like he’d lie though and say he likes doing every kind of work just to stop others from doing it#unless he wasn’t in a state where he’s able to actively think about others like that#he should stop doing things and jsut relax imagine taking him on a nice tour trip up mount Fuji that would b nice#stay in a cabin make a snowman clap for him when he skis#he was so good at skiing in the TG calendar?!?? who taught him to ski#did he read “idiots guide to skiing” a day before and absorb all the knowledge like a sponge#he’s so smart. I wish I was smart. or at least smart in an applicable way#I want to try harder but I kind of can’t#or I get sort of frozen by something and can’t find a way forward unless I scurry around it (no one wants u to do this)#I love Kaneki he’s both literally and kind of metaphorically half human and I am too so if we combine we’ll have the power of one full human#we can be human if we stand close enough together#idk he might not want to stand next to me tho he has better options#kaneki time
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🚨SPOILERS FOR CH 55 OF CRIMSON RIVERS🚨
The SECOND I saw that Lily and Remus reunion I was like ooohhhh I’m drawing that shit right away. I even downloaded a real art app for it instead of continuing to use my freaking notes app!!!
Apparently it’s becoming a theme with me to post new Crimson Rivers art every update day😭😭 the brainrot is real smh
@mayzarbewithyou
#wolfstar#crimson rivers#lily evans#remus lupin#jegulus#zeppazariel crimson rivers#zeppazariel#we should have listened to Zar when he said we might regret asking for the Lily and Remus reunion#he was right it was heartbreaking#still glad it happened tho even tho I was sobbing#fic: crimson rivers#crimson rivers fanart#moonflower
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Eleventh Doctor Chronicles: Sins of the Flesh is really good. Really really good. Experience with certain attitudes can be so isolating, surrounded by people who won’t bother to understand the impact of growing up in that environment (because the world's so progressive now, right), and so — I'm so glad it exists. I also liked the discussion in the interview commentary about how being a monster and doing monstrous things are not mutually exclusive. Like most things, homophobia is pervasive because it is structural. Religious fervor is not inherently bad — “your god is love,” Valarie says to Lily — but as soon as hellfire is brandished around, it's used routinely to empower monstrous things, in a way that becomes unsafe to debate. Especially for young & dependent people who can't escape it.
Conditional love. Moral panics. Purity culture. Self-hate. Mob mentality. This audio. It's timely.
I appreciated what they said in the interviews about not only about the research, but the four rounds of sensitivity readings. I wish the TV show had that level of care sometimes…
#actually the whole Everywhere and Anywhere boxset is excellent#tw homophobia#valarie lockwood#eleventh doctor#so I listened to the second audio in a muggy headspace when it came out and comprenhended none of it and thought what.#then I listened again today and understood it perfectly and cried the whole way thru. I love Valarie's husband ngl#they SHOULD have a poly marriage with Roanna on Medrüth to add to the timey wimeyness. totally normal to the Doctor#the Doctor emotionally saying Rivers death breaks his hearts in the same episode where he says-#'she looks drained. I guess marriage does that to you'. honestly all of the yowzah refs in eleventh doctor chronicles are kind of gold.#and the first story!!!!!! Valerie's dead mother!!!!!! the Clara mention in the summary was fully clickbait tho#oh and the Doctor telling Valerie about the Ponds at the end? SCREAMING- he didnt tell Clara about the Ponds!#in other audio news im slowly gettin thru eighth doctor audios while working. Neverland/Zagreus/Scherzo were as great as ppl say!#the anti time arc made me finally love charley (and find her interesting)#words by seaweed#this post just lowkey a subtweet at rtd. no offense to rtd for always thinking hes right without consulting the groups he talks about#in ADDITION to the story being cathartic. Cybermen running gay conversion therapy is a *chefs kiss* concept. I'm so glad it exists#I might delete this post later its making me feel low key vulnerable *ramble ramble*#by the way I don't think religion is mostly or uniquely responsible for homophobia.#I think it's like any bigotry or hatred. plus religion is an easy way to claim that god is on their side for ANY hatred they have#which means religious homophobia is a form of homophobic abuse that's not only mental and emotional but spiritual as well#it hits different when they invoke god. the entity who made you the way you are#finally watched Barbie and cried because even tho the message was simple my parents will never understand it#my dad who thinks patriarchy is exaggerated and my mom who thinks god made women to serve men#I’m in my mid 20s now it’s fine. I feel so alone its fine#im fine :D or I wouldn't be subtweeting RTD :D :D :D#I should sleep I have work in the morning ~time to listen to some eighth doctor and charley in the divergent universe~#why is 2024 busier than 2023#anyway sins of the flesh was kinda surface level ngl but I don't think anything deeper would've worked as well#it got the emotional beats (and it doesn't need to be a complex argument to point out the hypocrisy long as the listener aint brainwashed)#the doctor telling the homophobe his hatred killed his daughter and he'll never be forgiven
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//I just want to write and play video games but unfortunately I have to pack 😔
#down by the river || ooc#//I should do it today so I'm not scrambling tomorrow#even tho I have tomorrow off#also that way if I forget something I can remember it lmao
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I've finished looking through the submissions for the Best Mechanisms Quote/Line bracket! 40 submissions gave us 169 different quotes! So many! I have the general quote and number of nominations together, but I have yet to go through and double check exact wording and punctuation for most of them, so no full list tonight sadly. I can give the top 3 though:
"Fuck you, and fuck your train!" 16 nominations
"Fuck the ship!" / "I do." / "Ew!" 13
"But any window with a hammer is also an emergency exit." 9
Thank you to everyone who's submitted nominations already! Everyone else, there's still 5 days to submit nominations, so make sure you do so before the deadline!
#the mechanisms#the mechs#ik i was debating moving it but the deadline is gonna stay next Monday#also i'm debating if i should keep the 'ew' or not in 'fuck the ship'#bc the 'Ew!' is v funny#but just 'Fuck the ship' / 'I do' has IMMACULATE vibes#i'll probably decide based on feedback on this post plus the number of people who included the 'ew' in their nominations#it's about even for nominations so i'm asking y'all#also!#fourth most nominated quote is 'I was serving in the fourty-second starborne divison while Time was still being mortal like a wanker'#i'm keeping wanker bc it's funnier than idiot#i have gotten a couple of submissions with idiot tho#as for sources: there's 2 quotes from the fictions#2 live that i have to double check the exact performance they're from#2 from Lashings 3 from TBI Debut 4 from Gender Rebels 4 from Pitt Rivers 7 from Revenge of Spaceport Mahon#6 from Frankenstein#13 from DTTM bc y'all are DETERMINED to make me cry#16 from TTBT 10 from TTBT2#19 from OUATIS#20 from UDAD#25 from HNOC#and 26 from TBI!
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long hair!patrick?..... ✨long hair!patrick✨
#of pigeons & clementines ( mirror. )#this is also low key an s*s*r appreciation post#i do admit i should follow him more closely.....#like bruh#this guy?? in MUSICALS?? WITH LEAD ROLES?? HOLY-#that takes skill. and talent.#i bow down to him :DDD#hmmmmm patrick doesn't like to have his hair long in most of his verses tho....#but....i do have an inkling of a new verse...one where patrick ( with a different name ) is reborn as a spirit of the thames river#so the long hair would fit there#either that or that supernaturalish!au i was thinking about.....winter if ur reading this maybe you were thinking of something like a....#fruits basket au??? bc i had a dark set of hcs there and the long hair might make sense there :///#ANYWAYS i want to write now...( or continue learning to draw too been doing that on the dl ) so i will end it here <3
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Throwback to the very first thing I embroidered in 2021 after a brief tutorial. Sits with my Locked Tomb books on my shelf 🖤
#don’t ask me what I’ve embroidered since ok#the answer is NOTHING#I always think about how I should tho#gideon the ninth#harrow the ninth#embroidery#the locked tomb#the rivers can embroider
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//☎ !! :)c
Put ☎ in my ask for your muses info in my muses phone: @mute-call
NAME: Boss-Man
RINGTONE:��Can I Call You Tonight (Radio Mix) - Dayglow
PICTURE:
LAST TEXT RECEIVED:
3:00pm Rcvd; [BOSS-MAN]: I
3:02pm Rcvd; [BOSS-MAN]: Sorry finger slipped but River I don't think it'll work though?? What if something happens I'm kind-of... Soft.(/_\;;)
LAST TEXT SENT:
3:05pm [BOSS-MAN]: Oh come-ooon it'll be fine! We'll start slow, and once you're all limber, it's smooth-sailing from there. Promise.
3:06pm [BOSS-MAN]: You'll be snapping arms and breaking necks in no time it'll be GREAT. (ゝз╹) ♡
#mute-call#Only Overthinking When I'm Close to You ( River x Steven )#(I ALMOST made both text bits completely text-emojis 'cuz I can totally see these two being able to communicate in nothing but emotes. xD)#(The one Steven's using is literally peak him I s2g. <3)#(SO HAVE RIV TRYING TO CONVINCE STEVEN TO LET HER TEACH HIM HOW TO FITE.)#(The icon tho omg. I had this thought that once they go on the run Steven says they should get disguises.)#(But he gets REALLY bad ones for them and Riv's just 'you should've just gotten silly mustaches and glasses those would've been better. 8T'#(But she found it amusing af SO NOW IT'S FOREVER CEMENTED ON AN ICON. But on a cute dino 'cuz she thinks he's cute too. :3)
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Ew, essays :[
I miss the old days of kindergarten when we attempted to color butterflies and ate erasers and glue
-🎁
I hated kindergarten
Essays may suck but at least now I'm not the weird kid in the corner wishing I had friends
However yes I absolutely despise essays with all my being... in fact!
Achievement unlocked: you somehow found a topic moshie hates enough and on a bad day to start them ranting in the tags...
Warning there are curse words, poor spelling, and caps locks
Sorry in advance
#asks#off topic#seriously tho i hate essays so much#one of them is already 5 pages and thats just the rough draft#i better get a fucking high pass on that shit or i will scream#shes actually making us focus on out writing process and OH HO.HO BOY IS MINE A MESS#I SWEAR ITS LIKE TRYING TO MAKE A SKETCH BUT YOU KEEP PAINTING CERTAIN PARTS BECAUSE IT HAS TO LOOK NICE#ONLY TO RELIZE OH WAIT MAYBE THAT DOESN'T GO THERE AND I SHOULD ACTUALLY SHIFT IT AROUND#OR MAYBE I COULD SWAP THIS TOO BE THAT LOOKS AWFUL AND IT JUST KEEPS GETTING WORSE AND WORSE TILL ITS A RIVER OF BLOOD AND PAINT#AND SHE WANTS TO SEE MY ROUGH DRAFT??? HONNEY YOU WOULD HAVE A BETTER CHANCE AT READING THE MARIO SUNSHINE SPEEDRUN CATEGORY BACKWARDS THEN#UNDERSTANDING WHAT THE FUCK IM TRYING TO WRITE ITS WHY I HAVE TO WRITE IT ALL IN ONE GO OTHERWISE I HAVE TO LOOK BACK AND UNDERSTAND WHAT#WAS GOING THROUGH MY HEAD WHILE LOOKING THROUGH THIS MESS!!! OOOHH WHAT? YOU WANT ME TO ORGANIZE THIS WELL SHIT THATS GOING TO TAKE EVEN#LONGER YOU ALREADY GOT ME WRITING WHY DO YOU HAVE TO MAKE ME STOP MUCH LESS MAKE ME SWITCH SUBJECTS TO ANOTHER ESSAY HALF WAY THROUGH OH BU#AND GUESS WHAT!???? ONE PAGE! DOUBLE SPACE! AND IM NOT GOING TO GIVEN GIVE YOU A DIRECTION TO WRITE IN JUST ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT WE LEARNED#IN THESE LAST TWO WEEKS! TWO WEEKS FUCKING HELL DO YOU KNOW HOW INDECISIVE AND FORGETFUL I AM??? MUCH LESS THE FACT KTS ABOUT ETHNICS#I DIDNT EVEN EANT TO TAKE AN ETHNICS CLASS I WANTED ETHICS I FUCKING HATE EVERY SO MUCH RIGHT NOW#LIKE YEA SURE I KNOW THEY'RE IMPORTANT BUT I STILL HATE ESSAYS and j know my teachers are trying their best...#but jeese ethnics is such a difficult topic because on one had yea i relate to what these people are going through im part of the LGBT#are statistics are very similar but im also bery much a white person and not openly trans/non binary i dont want to look like some stuck up#white person going oooo look at the poor minorities i can TotAlLy relate and now im going to talk about me#because im genuinely scared of coming out idk whos accepting and whos not at least online im safe and can block people...#jeese im sorry for the rant i shouldn't have gone on that much less my art blog#this is supposed to be a positive blog but i just need to put this somewhere or i feel im going to cry out of frustration im sorry#rant post#system#oops moshie got emotional
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"Sleepless City"
Me @ myself: "you should sleep!"
also me: "lets just doodle a bit to relax..."
me @ 5am: "oh damn..."
Anywaaaay, here is the art:
a city during sunset and full moon at a river
Insta: here
Twitter: here
#sleepless#well i should have known better#hyperfokus be like that LOL#i cannot rly say that i regret it#i think i rly like it!#I AM SO TIRED NOW THO#and i will go out eating with grandpa#SLIGHT REGRETS ARE INCOMING#night city#river#full moon#digital art#digital aritst#landscape#kaia001art
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hEY LOOK IT'S SOME OLD CRINGE ART :D
ok so on the left we've got an ~interpretation~ of the lyrics from this song called 'aisling gheal' but my irish is rubbish so i wrote it WRONG and it SHOULD be:
gus gruaig a cinn léi go féar a' fás a falt ag teacht mar na réaltainn ag titim léise go barr a troighe
which basically means that her hair is long and flowing and like the stars, going all the way down to her ankles!! so that's why there's the. hair and stars and. look i was 18 ok shut up
on the right we've got a bunch of doodles from when i was obsessed with the mythology figure deirdre of the sorrows, a very unfortunate lady who was sought after by the king of ulster conchobar. the king sent his nephews to fetch deirdre for him, but then deirdre and one of the nephews naoise fell in love with each other, so they all went into hiding so they could live together and NOT be annoyed by conchobar. due to a series of very unfortunate circumstances, they get found out, and conchobar has his nephews killed and forces deirdre to marry him but for SOME REASON she's super cold and not into him AT ALL, so he goes 'who do u hate more than me??' and obvs deirdre says 'the dude who killed my man, duh' and conchobar goes 'oh ya?? well u can marry HIM then >:)' and then when he's driving deirdre over to the bf-killer she throws herself from the chariot and dashes her head against the stones bc she's had enough of this shit fr fr 😒
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY :D :D :D
#birb still draws#birb's old art#cringe old art huehuehue >:3c#aisling gheal is a beautiful song tho pls do give it a listen!! :D#deirdre of the sorrows#more like deirdre of the sorry bastards who can't leave her ALONE ffs 😒#there's more to it than that but i don't feel like getting into it ok#maybe i should draw something for valentine's day for REAL for real#i usually don't notice this day at all but when in rome!!!#is this still an art blog?#i like the bit where naoise bears deirdre across the river on his shoulder :D
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So I like... I really don't know how I feel about the whole bi-regeneration thing.
Something that sours it for me is like... I was so upset that we were only gonna get the 3 eps with 14 and Donna - ideally for me we would have had a whole season or even a half-season to do them justice. It made me sad that I'd have to say goodbye to them so soon. Tho I did take comfort in that there'd basically be an open invitation for Donna cameos in the future, in a similar way to the Kate Stewart and Unit ones.
HOWEVER. Now??? As much as I fucking adore Donna and David Tennant as the Doctor... I kinda never wanna see them on screen again??? Cause I feel like it sorta cheapens the concept of the 15th Doctor and all the other future adventures he'll have. It was one thing with Tentoo cause he was banished to another universe and was limited to a mortal's lifespan. But having two fully fledged Doctors??? Both with Tardises??? In the same universe???
It doesn't just cheapen the 15 Doctor and all future Doctors, imo it also cheapens David Tennant himself. Because there's a bittersweet beauty in letting go. In saying goodbye. Of accepting the next phase in life. The bi-regeneration doesn't do that. There's no closure. There's no faint loss accompanying the joyous rebirth. It's just.
It just feels very emotionally hollow.
#And it's so so annoying cause I was LOVING the episode till the bi-regeneration thing#But that moment really took me out of the episode#Suddenly I was watching some sort of parody or Red Nose Day segment#Fun maybe but ultimately hollow#And it honestly soured the episode for me#Imo the bi-regeneration never should've happened#Also - it was a beautiful way to say goodbye to 14! A gorgeous moment! And juxtapositioning 'I don't want to go' with 'Alonsy'? *chefs kiss*#We could have had Ncuti finish the episode#Secure to go on adventuring in the Tardis knowing he has his extended family waiting for him on earth for holidays and brunches and whenever#It could have been a beautiful homage#Honouring the past and carrying it with while continuing on to the future#THAT'S how the episode should have ended#Not this cheap parody badly written fanfiction#AND ANOTHER THING - as much as I fucking adore Donna the Doctor HAS slowed down before and had family#He had it with the Ponds he had 900+ years on Trenzalore he had it 24 years on Darillium with River#he had it for decades while at the University guarding Missy#THIS IS NOT THE FIRST TIME THE DOCTOR HAS DONE THIS#And to act like this is the First Time™ or the Only Time That Matters™ cheapens the Doctor's journey and all past relationships#It ignores and belittles everything that came after 10 regenerated and in doing so Donna herself is cheapened#Because it puts her on this shiny pedestal above all others that kind of makes me resent her a little even tho I fucking adore her#Like she's my gd profile pic for gods sake but this Golden Child™ treatment really rubs the wrong way#doctor who#dw spoilers#Dw#David Tennant#biregeneration#14th doctor#ncuti gatwa#15th doctor#doctor who 60th anniversary
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I chose the river farm which was a dumb choice but whatever at least my chickens have their own tiny island
#river farm kinda ugly should have went with normal farm actually#and said chickens hate me even tho i go to their coop everyday to give them pets#like ok be glad i cant make roast chicken in this game or else i would've had a feast several in game days ago#stardew valley#sdv
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