#i seriously had to google to be sure lol

[myfeelisfunny]

Amazon Music giving me the biggest heart attack while listening to Stick Season (Forever)...

was??? what do you mean WAS???

[katsu28]

home is wherever you are

pairing: charles leclerc x reader

summary: secretly falling in love with your best friend is tough. secretly falling in love with your best friend who also happens to be your roommate is even less than ideal. the solution? move out! (hint: it isn’t a very good one.) (5k)

warnings: angst with a happy ending, a smidge of google translated french lol

a/n: CHARLES LECLERC!!! CHARLES LECLERC!!!!LECLERC!!! LECLERAUGHCOUGHCOUGH

“I still cannot believe you’re abandoning me.” 

Charles shoved another box of your things into the boot of your car rather huffily, as if to reiterate just how unhappy he was. 

“I’m not abandoning you, I’m moving out of your apartment.” You sighed, rolling your eyes playfully at him. You passed him the last box off the ground, wiping your hands off on your shorts before propping them on your hips. 

“That is quite literally the same thing.” He mirrored your stance in total seriousness, frown unwavering. “And it’s not my apartment, it’s yours now too. Your home.” 

You’d been living with Charles for a while now, having been suddenly evicted from your own place three, almost four years ago. With nowhere else to go, you’d turned to your best friend, and Charles had welcomed you with open arms, giving you a home when you’d needed it most. 

There were many good things about living with Charles—he liked to cook (which boded well with you, seeing as you were no master chef yourself. Except for when he’d gone through a questionable phase of combining cuisines that did not go well together.), he was respectful of set boundaries and agreed upon rules. You had the same taste in shows and movies, which made for little fighting when it came to deciding on what to watch. 

But most notably, he loved to play the piano. It was a hobby he’d picked up during long days spent staying at home, and he was good at it too. An electronic keyboard when he’d first started out, just to see if it was something he was serious about, but as he zoomed through the basics with ease, he’d splurged on a gorgeous white piano that stood proudly in the living room. 

Soon enough, it wasn’t unusual for the apartment to be full of music, beautiful songs of Charles’ own composing. 

He played whenever he had the feeling. Whenever he had something on his mind, whenever he was bored, anything, he’d spend hours at the piano, playing, playing, playing. Some might’ve called it annoying, but not you. You found it rather soothing. 

It had very quickly become a habit of yours to fall asleep listening to Charles play. Something about it seemed to always relax you just enough to the point where you could pretty much fall asleep anywhere if he was at the bench. 

Your favorite spot was on the sofa with a big blanket, watching him get lost in the notes until you drifted off. More often than not, you could rarely get a good night’s sleep without Charles’ accompaniment—your very own version of white noise. 

But truth be told, this past year of living together with Charles had been trickier than the first couple. You couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment things began to change, but something had definitely shifted between you. 

You’d been trying to write it off just the two of you being very close, but you’d been dancing on the line of close friends and more than friends for a long time. Falling asleep together cuddled on the sofa, lingering touches whilst you were in the same room and in passing, hugs that lasted a little too long to be considered normal. 

The more your feelings for Charles grew, the more worried you became. Worried about what, you weren’t exactly sure. All you knew was you didn’t want to lose the longest and best friendship you’d ever had because you went and fell in love.

“I know. But I think it’s well past time I get out of your hair and try being on my own for once.” You said softly, stepping in to fold yourself into Charles’ arms. 

Most of that was true. You did feel like you needed to live by yourself for a chance, to see what it was like to be fully independent in your adult life. You’d moved in with Charles when you were twenty two, and you were twenty five now. It was time for you to venture out on your own. 

But the uncertainty of falling in love with your best friend was definitely also a contributing factor. 

He made a displeased sound at your words, but tucked you under his chin nonetheless. “I don’t want you to get out of my hair. My hair likes it with you here.” 

“I live fifteen minutes away, Cha. I’m not moving across the country. You and your hair can come over anytime.” You scoffed, giving him a gentle poke in the ribs. “And I’ll come over here all the time too, you know that.” 

“Fine, fine. I don’t know what I am supposed to do with your empty room now, but I’ll figure it out. Maybe I will take up scrapbooking. Knitting. Needlepoint, maybe. Turn it into a craft room.” 

“Maybe you can turn it into a music room. Move the keyboard in there, your piano.” 

“Ah, bien entendu, my piano. How will you ever fall asleep without my sweet, sweet melodies?” 

“I think I will manage just fine.” You chuckled. 

Charles held you at arms’ length, dark brows furrowing as he scowled. “What I’m hearing is you don’t love me anymore.” 

Oh, if only he knew. 

You smiled instead, patting his cheek good-naturedly. “Come on, you drama queen. I want to move in before the sun goes down.” 

Charles went full protection mode the second all your belongings had made it safely inside the apartment, intently checking every lock, window, door hinge, cabinet—not an inch of the apartment went uninspected by him. When he seemed fairly satisfied with his safety checks, he returned to where you were unpacking kitchen items over by the oven.

“Everything up to your standards?” You asked, pulling out a stack of plates wrapped in brown paper. Charles shuffled over, easing them out of your hands and unwrapping them to help put them up in the cabinet. “No one is going to break in through my window tonight?”

“Don’t even joke about that.” He grumbled, chucking the balled up paper at you gently. “Everything I checked is fine. You will be safe here.” 

Food was simple when it came time for dinner—takeout on the floor of your living room, because you hadn’t had the time to go shopping for a coffee table yet. Or a dining room table. Or even chairs, really. All you had were some pillows and an overturned cardboard box to put the food on. 

Charles had insisted on helping you furnish the whole place before you moved in but you’d declined, saying that you wanted to get a feel for the place before filling it with everything. The last time it would be this empty would be the day you moved out. 

He seemed a little quiet the rest of the night, but you didn’t press it until after dinner, whilst he was helping you with the washing up. Well, helping was a strong word. 

“You’ve been drying that plate for ages now.” You observed, tilting your head at him thoughtfully. Charles inhaled sharply, shaking his head like he’d been snapped out of a stupor. He glanced down at the completely dry plate, then back up at you blankly. “What’re you thinking about?” 

“You’re really going to be gone.”

“You say that like I told you I’ve only got days to live. I won’t be gone, Cha. I’ll be around.” You chuckled, flicking dish soap bubbles in his direction. Charles responded by flinging his towel at you, cracking a smile. You liked it when he smiled, hated it when he frowned. He was still unfairly attractive, but it wasn’t Charles’ scowl that made you fall in love with him. 

“We can spend the day together anytime, you can come over whenever you want, and if it makes you feel any better, I will give you your very own key.” 

That seemed to put him a little more in higher spirits. 

 “What will you ever do without me?” He wondered out loud, feigning a thoughtful expression. 

“Probably clean up a lot less. Be able to take a shower without running out of hot water halfway through. Oh! Have a bottle of shampoo last more than a month because someone—not naming names, of course, won’t use it because they’ve run out of theirs. Not have to fight for—” 

“Alright, alright, I get it!” Charles huffed, grabbing you by the shoulders and promptly shoving your face into his chest to stop you from talking. 

You grinned against the softness of his hoodie. “Shall I go on?” 

“No, no you shouldn’t.” His hold on you loosened, but you stayed right where you were, wrapping your arms around his torso. “Just admit it. You’ll miss me.” 

“I will miss you.” You said softly, pressing your cheek into the crook of his neck. If there was something Charles was unbelievably good at (besides literally anything he’d ever tried), it was giving the best hugs. Something about them made you feel safe, like nothing and nobody could ever hurt you as long as you were in his arms. 

“You already know how much I’m going to miss having you around.” 

“Yeah, I am pretty great.” 

A laugh rumbled through his chest. “You are.” 

“You’ve been the best roommate I could’ve asked for. Thank you for everything.” Your words were muffled between the two of you, and you were glad for it, because he didn’t seem to notice the waver in your tone. But he did squeeze you a little tighter, so maybe he did hear you. “I love you, Cha.” 

Charles’ voice seemed to waver just a bit too. “I love you too.” 

“Okay, okay, you really need to leave. Go before I change my mind and make you stay.” You blurted, pushing him away playfully. It was better than letting him see you get emotional. 

“Is that a promise?” 

“No, it’s a threat. Go home. I will see you soon.” You gave his hand one last squeeze, nodding reassuringly to rid him of the crease between his brows. “Don’t worry about me. Go, get some rest.” 

It was only then that he seemed satisfied enough to leave, but even then, he cast another backwards glance towards you on his way down the hall, as if he was waiting for you to beckon him back. You just smiled as best you could. 

You’d get over it. You had to. There was still a lot you needed to get done before you called it a night. 

It wasn’t until you were getting ready to go to bed that you started to feel lonely. You and Charles had your respective bedtime routines, but they always intertwined. 

You never liked being the one to turn off all the lights in the apartment because the switch was at the end of the hallway opposite from your bedrooms, so he knew to do it because you hated running back through the darkness after flipping the switch. 

He always filled a glass with water for late night sipping, but never remembered to actually bring it to his room until he was already in bed, so you always grabbed it for him so he wouldn’t have to make the trek back out the kitchen.  

The bathroom counter was where you’d find each other the most, terrible jokes and funny stories told muffled through toothpaste bubbles, even though you could’ve just waited until you were finished to tell each other. You’d flick water at him as you washed your face because he took up too much space at the sink, he’d turn off the tap in retaliation, things like that. 

Sometimes Charles would stay up later playing video games with his friends, or take some extra time to practice piano, so you wouldn’t get to do your well oiled machine routine, but he’d always take the extra second to pop into your room to say goodnight when he heard you bustling around, even if he was in the middle of something. 

The times you fell asleep on the sofa to Charles’ playing the piano, he’d camp out at the other end of the sofa for the night, or at the very least made sure you were covered with a blanket if he went to sleep in his own room. 

It was something you’d grown accustomed to over the years, oftentimes the well-needed end to a not so great day. Charles never failed to put a smile on your face, even with something as small and mundane as a bedtime routine. 

But there was none of that as you ran through your routine this time. 

You didn’t hear him shuffling around over in the other room, the muffled sounds of his shouts as he played his games, and most of all, you didn’t hear him and his piano. 

Because there was no Charles. Of course there wasn’t. You were in this new place that you hadn’t had quite nearly enough of a chance to get used to yet, alone, and it was finally settling in. 

Suddenly moving out and away from him seemed like the worst decision in the world. 

You knew it was only the first night. You had to give yourself a chance to reacclimate, and that would take time. So you inhaled a deep breath, trying to get as comfy as you could for a long, probably sleepless night ahead. 

It was nearing four in the morning when you finally decided to give up and call Charles. Part of you thought he might not even pick up the phone, because he was probably asleep. Any sane person would be sleeping right now. 

Much to your surprise, he answered on the second ring. 

“Why are you awake?” You asked, maybe a bit harshly. 

“Um, you are the one who called me? Why are you awake?” He replied, groggy voice still teasing. His accent always grew thicker when he was sleepy. You thought it was adorable. “You cannot sleep, can you?” 

“...No.” Your voice grew smaller. You felt embarrassed at the fact that you couldn’t even make it one full night without Charles around. “I just…I wanted to hear your voice, I guess. I miss you already, Cha.” 

Charles fell silent for a few moments, the only sound on his side of the line being his gentle exhales. “I miss you too. Do you want me to come over? I can stay the night, if you want.” 

“No. No, you don’t need to do that.” You said softly. “Can you just talk to me?” 

This was also something that had become somewhat of a ritual when either of you couldn’t sleep. 

You’d tiptoe into each other’s rooms quiet as a mouse, slipping into bed beside the other. Charles always stirred when he felt the bed dip under your weight, half asleep but still reaching out to pull you against his chest like it was second nature. On the occasions when he came into your room, you’d feel him tuck himself close to you, nosing against any part of you he could find with a content sigh. 

There was no rhyme or reason to the things you’d talk about in those moments, but eventually, somehow, you’d both end up asleep, usually fairly quickly. Maybe it was the extra added comfort of each other that helped, you could never tell. 

It wasn’t unusual to wake up a jumble of limbs tangled together, and neither of you ever addressed it either. Just went on with your business as usual, never talking about it because it was just something you did. To help each other sleep, of course. 

Another thing that really blurred the line between friends and more. 

Charles hummed a noncommittal sound, soft and fond like he always was around you. “I’ll do you one better. How about I play some music for you?” 

“Yes, please. Thank you.” You sighed, relieved. He knew what you needed without you even having to ask. 

You heard him get up, footsteps padding along until there was a thud and some shuffling coming from Charles’ side. A few warm up scales in and you were already feeling a little less anxious, letting yourself get comfortable. 

“Any requests from the audience?” 

“Been working on anything new?” You yawned, nuzzling a little deeper back into your pillow. 

“I have, actually. It’s still—fuck, how do you say it…a work in progress?”

“Anything you play is perfect.”

“You flatter me.” He snorted. “Alright, here goes nothing.”  

He began to play. You knew jack shit about music, so there wasn’t much you could think of to describe how it sounded, but you could describe how it felt. You could almost feel the emotion pouring from his playing, even through the scratchy quality of the speaker. 

It felt like something you’d hear in the background of a movie montage, lilting and delicate and warm notes swirling together to create a bright melody, and you couldn’t help but let your mind wander. 

Memories of good times with Charles flashed through your head—all the long days and even longer nights you’d spent together because you thrived in each other’s company, cooking together, binging Netflix shows until you both passed out on the sofa. 

Hushed laughing during dinners at fancy restaurants that Charles could get into by flashing his name, soft conversations accompanied with expensive food and even more expensive wine. 

Day trips up the coast with the top down on the car, pushing the speed limit just to feel an ounce of the freedom that it could give you. Walking through Monte Carlo on late night gelato runs, switching flavors because you both enjoyed each other’s choice more than your own. 

Most of all, you thought of the love you felt for Charles, ever since you’d first met him. You’d never been one to believe in the concept of soulmates, but fuck, it was so easy to think of him as yours. Never had you felt as much for someone as you did for him. 

God, why were you even thinking of those things? 

It would never happen. Any love that Charles had for you would be strictly platonic, limited to however much one could love their best friend. 

Surely he’d drawn inspiration from something else when he’d composed the beautiful piece. You weren’t sure if you wanted to know. 

Soon enough, you’d drifted off like you always did when Charles played, coincidentally right before he came to a lingering stop. 

Had you been awake, you would’ve heard him say that the beautiful piece had been inspired by you. Instead you were fast asleep, still none the wiser to anything. Maybe it was a good thing. You might not have believed it if you’d heard him. 

-------

Charles was on your doorstep first thing in the morning, coffee and pastries in hand when you opened the door for him. 

“Hello, good morning, your savior is here. And with breakfast!” He chirped, coming to just enough of a halt for you to slide an arm around his shoulders in a hug and grab one of the drinks out of the tray before he swept past you.

Bright morning sunlight poured into the open area, washing the whole place aglow. A warm breeze floated in through the ajar window, rattling the shutters only slightly, and you could hear the all too familiar sounds of the city in the morning coming from the streets below. It was a gorgeous picture of peace; one of the apartment’s many fun quirks that convinced you to go for it in the first place. 

The only thing that might’ve rivaled the beauty of the moment was Charles standing at the window, leaning against the sill drinking his coffee while the breeze ruffled his hair. His back was to you as he checked out the view, but even the mere image of him here was nice. 

You sipped your own coffee, smiling to yourself when you realized Charles remembered exactly how you took it. You didn’t even need to look inside the bag to know they were your favorite pastries from the bakery down the street from your former apartment that both you and Charles loved. He was always thoughtful like that. Things like remembering your favorite foods and drinks, and going out of his way to get them as a little pick-me-up. 

It seemed wrong to ruin the moment, but you felt like you had to say something. 

“I’m sorry for waking you up last night.” You sighed, taking a cross-legged seat on a pillow. 

Charles turned away from the window, shaking his head quickly. He took a seat on the floor next to you, long legs stretching out towards your crossed ones to nudge a sneaker against your socked foot. “There’s nothing to be sorry about, I’m glad you called me.” 

“Right, but it’s kind of pathetic, isn’t it? First time on my own and I didn’t even last a whole night.” 

“Not pathetic.” He insisted, entirely firm in his words. He set his cup down as if it could strengthen his point. “It is a change, definitely. You can’t expect yourself to get used to such a big change immediately. It takes time, you know.” 

You messed with the lid of your cup, picking at the plastic with a scowl. “I know. But I can’t always come running to you whenever I need help. It’s not fair to you to have to keep rescuing me every time I need saving.” 

“Okay…” He trailed off, stretching out the last syllable in confusion. “I feel this is about something more than just last night. We can talk about it, if you would like?”

“I don’t know what it is.” You huffed. “I thought I was ready to be on my own, but maybe I’m not. Maybe I don’t know I’m doing and I’ll never figure it out, and—” 

“Whoa, whoa, slow down. Where is this all coming from?” 

“I don’t know,” You repeated, bordering on a whine. “But what I do know is that I can’t always keep relying on you for everything. It’s not good for me, or for you.” 

“You know, you could always just move back home if you’re truly not ready to do things on your own.” Charles offered, taking a casual sip of his own drink.

Home. He said it so casually, like home was with him instead of this new place you’d chosen to make yours. In a way, Charles was your home. Safety, comfort, love—all the things that made something home, you felt with him. 

That was the problem. You didn’t feel right relying on him for all those things, not without him being aware of how you actually felt about him. It seemed like too much of a burden to put on a friend, even one as perfect as Charles. 

His eyes met yours over the rim and he shrugged. “I still don’t know why you were so insistent on moving out in the first place.” 

You sighed, again. There weren’t many ways you could make yourself any clearer. Other than telling Charles one of the real reasons why you had to leave, which again, was more of a last resort (hopefully not at all) type of thing. “It was time—” 

“It was time for you to venture out on your own, yes, I know. But it doesn’t seem to be working out so well right now, does it not?” The last sentence seemed to slip out of Charles’ mouth before he knew what he was saying, because his mouth snapped shut right afterward. “I’m—I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for it to come out like that. I don’t want to argue.” 

But what had been done was done, what had been said was out there for you to know. Your coffee suddenly left a bitter taste in your mouth, and the traffic from outside became glaringly loud. The once peaceful atmosphere had been shattered now that you knew Charles’ true thoughts on it all. 

You stood up, letting your feet take you across the room from him. “No. Tell me more, Charles. Tell me how you really feel.” 

His nose wrinkled at the use of his full name. You never called him Charles unless you were upset with him, which wasn’t that often. Even hearing it come out of your own mouth seemed foreign. 

That seemed to change his reaction, because he stood too instead, doubling down on his words. “Okay. Yes, that is how I feel about you leaving. You barely even talked to me about it, and the next thing I knew, you were packing all your things into boxes! I didn’t understand where this—this sudden desire to leave came from. I still don’t.”

“You don’t have to understand it. It’s already done.” 

“Did I—did I do something wrong?”

You almost faltered. Almost.

“Did you ever think maybe me wanting to leave had nothing to do with you?” 

“Honestly? No. It feels like it has everything to do with me. It feels like you moved out because you didn’t want to be around me anymore!” Charles exclaimed. “And I have kept my mouth shut, I’ve been trying to be supportive of your decision, but I think I have a right to know. Am I why you wanted to leave so badly?” 

“That’s…part of it.” You admitted. Charles froze, brows flying up towards his hairline. “But not because of anything you did. Not because of the reason you’re thinking of.” 

“I don’t really see any other explanation. And I am sorry, but that is a shit excuse. I would’ve thought that you of all people would tell me the truth.” He didn’t sound angry, just disappointed and a little hurt. Somehow that felt worse. You’d rather him be mad at you than hurt by you. 

“I didn’t want to move out.” You said firmly. 

“Then why did you?” 

“I had to! I—I couldn’t live there anymore.” 

“But why?” He sounded desperate, begging for you to clue him in to any reason, anything at all that would help him understand. And god, as scared as you were of changing things by telling Charles how you really felt about him, you were infinitely more scared of losing him for good if you didn’t. 

“Because I’m fucking in love with you, Charles!” You blurted, finally. “I couldn’t live with you any longer, keeping this huge secret all the time, because it truly made me feel like I was about to explode. I just couldn’t do it anymore—pretend like everything was alright when every time I looked at you, all I could think about was how I felt about you! How much I felt for you.” Your voice rose with every word, emotion lacing your tone. 

You could feel the tears burning your eyes, threatening to fall no matter how much you willed them not to. “I just thought, maybe if we lived apart, if we didn’t see each other all the time, maybe those feelings would go away.” 

Charles blinked at you slowly. He scrubbed a hand over his cheek, across his mouth, letting it disappear into the neckline of his hoodie as he continued the motion near his jaw. Still, he said nothing. You weren’t sure if it was a good sign or a bad one, but still you continued. 

“So no, it wasn’t because of anything you did. Or maybe it was, for making it so fucking easy to fall in love with you. I don’t know. I’m sorry if I made you feel like you couldn’t say anything to me, but I’m not sorry for making the decision on my own. It was for the best.”

There it was, out there in the open at last. It felt like a proverbial weight lifted off your shoulders, but at the same time like a thousand rocks sinking to the bottom of your stomach, because he wasn’t saying anything. Maybe this was it. Maybe this was how you’d fuck up the best friendship you’d ever had. 

Charles was silent for the longest time before he replied, and when he did, his voice was quieter than you’d ever heard it before. It felt unnerving. “You could’ve just told me.” 

“Told you?” You had to fight the urge to let out a bitter, watery laugh. “Telling your best friend you’ve fallen in love with him isn’t just something you mention at the bathroom sink one night.” 

“It is, if he feels the same way about you.” 

A coldness crept down your neck, shooting through your veins like you’d just had a bucket of ice cold water dumped over your head. 

“No you’re not—you don't...you can't.” You whispered, disbelieving.

Charles’ brows furrowed in confusion. “What, do you want me to prove it?” 

You couldn’t give him an answer even if you wanted to. You weren’t sure if you could trust yourself to say a damn word, just in case this was all a dream and you'd wake up any second, still alone, still without him there.

He must’ve taken your silence as a yes to his question, because he crossed the room in three strides, took your face in firm hands, and he kissed you. 

Despite your utter shock, you managed to kiss him back clumsily, fingers curling into his hoodie tightly. Charles kissed you like he was afraid to let you go, like you’d slip through his fingers if he wasn’t careful enough.

A guiding hand curled around the back of your neck, angling your head so he could deepen the kiss, but only for a few seconds before he broke away, panting. His forehead stayed pressed against yours, soulful green eyes boring into your own in total seriousness.

“Do you believe me now?” 

“Maybe.” You breathed, letting your nose bump against his gently. This was not a dream. Charles was real and here and one hell of a kisser (just as you suspected).

“I am in love with you.” He murmured, stroking his thumb over your cheek fondly. “I have been for a long time. And I never thought you would feel the same way.” 

“I love you, Cha.” You were suddenly brought back to last night, when you’d uttered the same words to him. Only this time, they had a whole different meaning to them. 

This time, you knew Charles loved you in the same way you loved him.

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[eddiediaaz]

alie! I absolutely adore this mirrorball x buck set that you made last year! (/post/701462848238403584/) (also I can't believe it's been a year, like seriously what is time?) I was wondering how you did the shattered glass effect in the first gif? in particular how you made the black and white gifs appear distorted within the glass if that makes sense? thank you!!!

ahhh thank you so much renee! literally what is time lol, this gifset is still one of my faves that i made. the shattered glass effect is mostly just a lot of layer masks to be honest hahaha. i'm so glad i still have the psd, so here's how i did it under the cut~

(this tutorial assumes you know how to put multiple gifs in the same canvas and are familiar with layer groups and masks)

I. PREPARATION

first things first, create an empty canvas of your desired size. mine was 540x540 px.

then, you need to find a cracked glass texture. if i remember correctly i simply googled something like "broken glass png", "cracked glass png", because i wanted something already transparent.

(a texture that's something like black lines over a white background definitely works too, you'll just have to put that layer's blending mode to darken or multiply.)

here's the png i used (and a download link for best quality):

and after positioning it into my canvas.

II. CREATING MAIN SECTIONS FOR GIFS

so basically when i did is i sectioned parts of the texture for each gif that i wanted to put. following the texture's lines, i zoomed in and carefuly drew a first shape along the lines with the polygon tool. you can also put a color fill layer behind the cracked glass layer so it's easier to see, like i did.

once you have your shape selected, click on the folder icon (1), then on the layer mask icon (2). it should give you a nice masked group to put gifs in hehe

then i repeated the process until i had all of my desired shapes. i've put some color layers so it's easier to see, but here are my 6 main shapes and how my layer groups look like so far:

III. GIFFING TIME

after screencaping and making all 6 gifs required for each section, you need to put all of them in the same canvas. i simply put one smart object gif layer in each group created earlier. then, i resized and rotated each gif to fit its group (by hitting ctrl + T while selecting the gif layer), as you can see with the gif labeled 6x02 in the layers preview. for the coloring, i went simple with black and white for most of them.

once i have all six gifs sharpened, colored, and placed in each shape group, the gif looks like this. the broken glass texture does most of the work to be honest:

obviously the center gif doesn't have any kind of effect, it's just colored as usual, so i'm not gonna go over it. it's just one gif layer in a masked group.

IV. SUBSECTIONS FOR DISRTORTED EFFECT

okay so for the distorted effect it's even more layer masks! basically i created more smaller sections within each main shapes already, still following the cracked glass texture's lines with the polygon tool and put them in individual masked groups like i did in the second step. here's how i ended up dividing each main sections:

yep, each color here is a different masked group, for example the 2nd and 3rd shape sections:

for each main shape section, you want to duplicate your gif layer the same amount of times as you have subsections within that shape. so if the main shape has 5 smaller subsections, i want 5 layers of that same gif. just make sure to not change its duration or position yet, and make sure the coloring layers/group stays on top of the groups in its shape section. then, simply put one gif layer duplicate in each group. example of my layers for the second shape so far:

then just repeat this until all subsections have its own gif layer.

V. DISTORTED EFFECT

this is the best part! and it's really easy. basically you want to slightly move each subsection by a few pixels, so they're in a slightly different position than the ones next to it.

to do so, select one of the gif layers and with the arrows on your keyboard, move it left or right, and even up or down if it looks good. i do this for all duplicated gif layers, making sure it looks like they're all slightly offset. focus on the cracked glass overlay's lines while nudging the gif layers, it's easy to see how the shapes break when you move them. for example here:

this is really just all trial and error, you just need to move each subsection gif layer by a few pixels with the keyboard arrows until it looks good to you.

here's my result once i've done this for all (23!!) subsections:

VI. FINAL TOUCHES

i don't think i did much else to this before typography besides adding a bit of contrast overall and a thin drop shadow to the cracked layer texture on top of everything. if you have a transparent png this definitely helps to give a bit more dimension to the effect. so here's the final result:

i hope that was clear enough hehe :D

[tryingtofindava]

eyeless jack dating headcanons pls :)

𝐃𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐄𝐲𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐉𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬*ೃ༄

: ̗̀➛Back to source

He broke into your apartment with the intentions of harvesting your organs.

When he held the scalpel to your hip, and you began to stir awake. Mf froze.

Oh shit.

“What the fuck?”

Now bro only kills to eat, and when he does, he make sure it’s as painless for the victim as possible (unless he’s in a frenzy).

And That so called victim being awake? That just makes it 100x harder to get the task done.

And when you wake up to see a 6’6 man with an oddly terrifying blue mask holding a scalpel to your hip?

You (rightfully) freak tf out.

He’s not a sadist like some ppl… (cough Jeff Cough) So he probably awkwardly retreated back out to your window.

Anywayssss.

To the actual dating headcanons now.

You guys probably had a longgggggg ass slow burn. (not the only thing that’s long…)

The two of you definitely acted like a couple, before you were ACTUALLY a couple iykwim.

You find it so cool that your bfs a demon. He doesn’t really understand your excitement about it, since it’s literally a curse for him.

This boy is a walking furnace, he’s so cozy. So lots of winter cuddle sessions. Also perfect for when you on your period.

He purrs in his sleep. You can’t change my mind. You guys be cuddling on the couch all cute n’ shit and then there’s this soft buzzing sound… You crack open your eyes to look at him. His head on your lap as he naps.

“Babe… Are you purring?”

You asked with the biggest grin ever.

“…No.”

He likes when you read to him, he struggles to see (ik ik, he’s eyeless n shit, but I like to think he can still see, it’s js rlly rlly blurry or he has that heat vision where he can see body temps.) So when you can’t read to him, he just listens to audio books.

He’s a gentle giant towards you, y’all literally so cute. AND A GENTLEMAN🤭 he’s the whole damn package (minus the whole… cannibal eating ppl thing.)

He has animalistic like senses. So he can hear, and smell very well. So he can smell when you change your perfume or shampoo.

Imagine him leaning down to hug you (since you’re prob shorter than this tall ahh mf, nah seriously use the Hikaku sitatter site) and his face is buried in the crook of your neck. He’ll say shit like-

“Did you change you’re perfume to Miss Dior Eau De Parfum 30ml?”

“Wha-“

When he started getting comfortable taking his mask off around you, everytime he does you call him ‘Pretty boy’ 🤭.

HE WILL FOLD. Partially bcs he likes getting praised. Partially bcs he’s not a fan of the whole demon look.

His morning voice is literally so sexy help. Frothing at the mouth, on my knees barking.

Yk when you have like a sore head, and then you ask Google what’s up and Google’s all like ‘lol bitch you’re gonna die.’ You ask him about it obviously freaked out and he had to reassure your fine.

Walks in the rain at like 4am.

Every time he sees you, he’ll give you a quick forehead kiss.

Pls pls pls pls pls pls pls, I’m begging you. On my knees and begging for you to not look inside his mini fridge he has sitting in your storage room. Thank u.

He’s got some pretty gnarly things in there. Just be thankful he has the decency to not cross contaminate that shit with your food.

You guys slow dance in the kitchen to Mitski. He spins you around and all that cute shit.

He’s overprotective of you, and when you do get him to come out in public with you, he will growl at anyone that gets a little too close for his likings.

Wearing his hoodie<3. It just makes his dead heart happy.

SASSY MAN APOCALYPSE‼️💯💥

He may seem all quiet and sweet. But he’s sassy af. This. Dude. Has. Attitude.

When you’re telling him to do something in a tone, he’ll mouth you’re words with his hands.

When you guys are cuddling in your bed at night, he’ll randomly nibble on your neck to shoulder. He has sharp ass teeth so it’s a bit nippy, but he makes sure to be extra careful to not draw blood.

He smothers you when you’re under the weather. He’s literally so sweet omfg.

When you guys argue which is like 10% of the time, it takes awhile for him to get agitated. But even when he does he will NEVER raise his hands to you. Other than that he keeps calm.

He will though, get a bit mean, he probably doesn’t mean what he says it’s just a defence mechanism.

He makes it up to you with a cute little gift basket (he stole it.)

Y’all have probably kissed, and he still had the taste of blood in his mouth from eating someone’s kidneys<3

He can’t steal your organs but he can deffo rearrange them ;)

✯.★*°•.°✯•.★*°°·.•°★•✯.★*°•.°✯•.★*°°·.•°★•

[wellcomeoneileen]

Why does Randy Harrison deserve compensation? What happened to him? You can DM me if it's not okay to be public

Hey! No it’s totally okay.

⚠️disclaimer - I am a NEW fan and so I am NOT the most informed at all. Other people like @brian-kinney-apologist like really know shit. I initially found things bc watching S4 made me go oh there is bts shit going on for sure and googled, and then when I got on tumblr I saw a bunch of posts talking about it, too.

Lots of older sources are harder to find now bc they didn’t do a digital preservation or the website is expired, but here is what I’ve found, from heated Advocate articles whilst the show aired and then from more measured reflections from podcasts around 2016.

Randy was young and it was his first TV show - when he started he didn’t even have an agent, and really didn’t know what he was getting into. He had done sex scenes on stage and thought that he was pretty prepared for what was to come.

However, he has stated he ended up feeling pretty objectified, such as hearing “we need more shots of Justin’s ass” regularly or expressing a desire to not to go-go dancing type scenes (King of Babylon upset him) and then even more go-go dancing being added (S2 Sap scenes). He was also told to act less gay by casting directors for the show, and to “try to be more butch because Justin isn’t out of the closet”

The show pre-dates intimacy coordinators and there have been allusions, including from the actresses Thea and Michelle, that the sex scenes could be uncomfortable to film.

There was BTS clashing, with producer Tony Jones !!reportedly!!! Saying that Randy was a bitch to work with and “showrunners” “reportedly” saying they would never work with Randy again. There are two interview clips, one from when the show was airing, and one from 2016, when CowLip say they wanted all actors to be comfortable on set, and in BOTH clips , like 15 years apart, Randy kinda like laugh/roll his eyes and Gale looks at him very bemusedly. They had bigger reactions in the ~2003 clip.

He was openly pretty angry as the show went on. He told the Advocate that he would never be friends with or respect Justin if real. He disapproved of the Britin relationship. He said he had to fight to include the scene of Justin topping Brian, which was very important to him. Leading into season 5 he stated he hoped Justin was killed off by getting hit by a truck (obviously being glib, but like he was mad lol)

He has said that lots of scenes needed to be reshot because he struggled to do them so much, like the Cody sexy gun scene that made him so uncomfortable, and then either he or Gale said S5 sex scenes were reshot a lot because they just couldn’t stop laughing at that point anymore.

Peter and Scott recently have said the only time anyone asked for actors’ opinions was right after season 1 ended, and to ME they sounded kinda cheeky about it, all these years later, so perhaps it was a cast sticking point? Unsure, and it wasn’t even Randy who said that. Fat grain of salt.

He has more recently reflected on this time period and expressed regret he went out the way he did, and he understands things better and honors his craft more (heavy paraphrasing!) bc he was mentally checked out by the end and wishes he had finished strong instead.

Also, the cast didn’t realize when signing on how isolated they would be from The Industry. Randy has spoken about this in an unrelated podcast, as have the actors who play Ted and Emmett. NYC or LA are where you want to be for networking, and then signing on to spend the majority of the year in Toronto negatively impacted their careers, they feel. Randy has said he had to start from scratch after the show ended, and Peter and Scott have said Showtime had no idea how to market the show nor their stars, and so they had to just watch as all the initial hype fizzled and nothing was done with them. They were contracted to work too much to seriously be involved elsewhere, while simultaneously not getting good exposure, which I IMAGINE created a dire sort of mood and morale on set. < personal interpretation and fictionalizing history.

Meaning, Randy probably at the very least FELT like he had spent five years on a show that didn’t respect him and it was largely for nothing. He has since stated he appreciates the opportunity and it is the reason he was finically secure, for which he is deeply grateful.

And then finally the fans! He had stalker(s?) and tons of creepy people and was heavily typecast and people would come up to him frequently, which made him uncomfy, and would furthermore act like he was actually Justin, which made him super uncomfy. He was kinda like Chappell Roan!! He was like hey I’m not Justin I’m a person and y’all are freaks. He has publicially declined to speak on the stalking issues, which given his vocal responses to other issues, indicates to ME that it’s pretty personal and upsetting (I mean it’s stalking it’s obviously horrible but you know what I mean). During the show he had a boyfriend that fans like tormented online and even on posters (that bit comes from Tumblr or another forum, so not like verified info on my part at all) because they shipped “Gandy” so hard. I know I’ve read on tumblr about the insane Gandy people but all I remember is they were intense and insane and negatively impacted Randy’s actual real life. Again, that’s info from fans that I haven’t read in article or heard from out of his mouth. Secondary source lol.

This point is PURE speculation, but early interviews with the whole cast were super excited, and they all talked about how excited they were for something ground breaking. By the end, people were angry or giving fluff responses, or in Peter’s case; calmly stating the show was a soap opera and that’s okay. I FEEL like everyone thought they were signing up for something more real/gritty/positive impact to society and then were like oh I’m here to look hot in this show that only moms watch to get them turned on to have sex with their husband. Cool.

Now, do I agree with that - no. But, the show audience was vastly different than expected, and the artistic direction might have been too, both of which might have really disappointed people. Esp Randy and maybe Gale. Randy was a capital T theatre person, and Gale was too and had lots of experimental work and like performance art. Randy has ALSO expressed displeasure with some theater work he did because he didn’t think it was fresh and the audience was only older wealthy white people, so we do know that this sort of thing does matter to his sense of fulfillment at work.

TLDR; had to shoot scenes he didn’t want to, several times, felt objectified on set, disagreed with his character’s direction, maybe felt like he wasn’t being listened to artistically, was cut off from other work opportunities, didn’t appear to get along with leadership, had bad fans, was young and in deep over his head, and at the very least *started* with no career or social support system.

Again!! Am not the most knowledgeable person !!! I do NOT want to spread misinformation so hopefully I’ve tagged where I’m reading into things vs actual quotes but also people who have actually been around pls feel free to say 🙋um actuallllyyyyy

[moodymisty]

Surprise

Author's Note: Loosely based off my personal experience struggles learning Spanish and Portuguese. I wanted to do something sfw to work on König's character and get a feel for things with CoD. I'll make some filth soon lol

Any German used is one or two very easily understandable words, and anything more in-depth is just implied via italics. Far easier than making an arse out of myself with Google translate because we all know how that works.

Summary: You've been studying German in secret from König for weeks now, hopefully it pays off.

Relationships: König/Fem!Reader

Warnings: I do not know German so I apologize, Fluff, Reader is implied foreigner but from where is not specified, Fluff without plot

Word Count: 2016

Closing the book in your lap you take your hands away from the pages and rub them over your face, feeling the way your eyes almost burn from overuse. Squeezing them shut helps, but it almost seems like the letters are burned into the back of your eyelids.

No more information can be shoved into my brain; Not tonight.

It's late- the sun has long since set and if you start another section, you might end up hearing the birds outside start chirping by the time you finish and go to bed. With König gone and it being the weekend you can at least sleep in, to cover up your late night of studying.

Getting up off the couch and taking your notes and textbook, they both come with you to the bedroom; Where you hide them underneath the cushion of the window seat. It was a place that he would never look, at least not without good reason.

That was part of the plan after all, for him to be surprised by all this.

As for all the time you've known König his mother tongue has remained a mystery to you, unable to understand whenever he mumbles it under his breath while fixing himself something to eat, or yelling at a door frame he hit with his shoulder or head by accident. Which happens frequently, as unfortunately the apartment isn't exactly built for a man of his size.

You’ve picked up words and small sentences over time; Maus, danke, bitte, ich liebe dich; Scheisse as well, much to König's playfully faked distress. He's always tried to refuse teaching your swears, but you've picked up on them anyways. He thinks they sound too cute to take seriously when you say them. They just make him laugh.

But none of it is enough to hold any length of conversation. König is sweet and always helps whenever you need something translated, but you know sometimes words just don't cross over one to one. Not to mention you don't want to always rely on him. So you decided to learn as much as you could, but keep it a surprise. At least for a bit. There was only so far you could get without speaking it, using it- but for now you could at least try and listen.

''Can you help me?' You stumble out in practice before sighing, slipping into your nightclothes as your bed remains unmade and calling out to you.

Could really use some of that right now.

You keep mumbling to yourself, the words floating through your head, hoping they'll stick to the image of an object or scene that follows in tandem. It's such a silly, impossible goal, but you want to impress him. You slip into bed and begin relaxing, hoping you'll be able to sleep before light starts bleeding through the curtains.

The ring of your phone however distracts you from any further thoughts, grabbing it off the bedside table where it had been charging. Only one person will call this late, and since you’re already in your nightclothes, you answer without even checking the caller id. It would just say 'Unknown' anyways, if it was him. You answer and speak up.

"Good evening. Or morning? Afternoon?"

König chuckles and even if it's hundreds or even thousands of miles away, it still makes you smile. When he's gone you usually don't hear much from him at all, so it's always a wonderful treat when he does manage to find a moment.

"Evening. The sun is just about to set." You're sure he can hear you rustling of the blankets as you pull them over your body, laying down with your phone on speaker right in front of the pillow.

"Keeping busy, Liebe?"

"As busy as I can, it's really late. Was just about to sleep." König hums, and you can hear the scratch of him rubbing his head.

"Ahh, am I keeping you up? I don't want you tired because of me." Just as you go to answer him back someone must enter the room, asking him something. You can hear the question and König's extremely curt and irritated response to it, and it's a struggle to not laugh when you realize you understood enough of it to put the pieces together.

So all this studying wasn't for nothing!

It's nice to finally see that you've been making at least some sort of stride. Once he finishes grumbling a reply at whoever had interrupted him- ignoring how cute you find it that he's so feverishly defending what tiny bit of time he has to talk to you- You answer back.

"Don't worry, I want to stay up; I miss you. I miss hearing your voice before I go to bed." You hear König let out a shy cough, rustling around. Sometimes he still gets a little bashful when you're particularly overt with how you feel about him.

"Then I will stay with you as long as I can." You know that's asking a lot of him; To even get a few moments time while he's deployed in the middle of god knows where is asking for a miracle. A damn good miracle at that.

"I miss you too, liebling."

His voice sounds so quiet when he speaks; You don't know if it's because of there being someone else in the room with him, or that he's just still not used to saying things like that.

The bed is warm and the blankets are soft, but it's still nowhere near as pleasant when König is here beside you. Neither of you have any idea how long he's going to be gone this time, but you always prepare as if it's going to be a long while. Hopefully however, it wont. You're not going to last very long without having him here with you. Just the feeling of being stuck in his arms because he's dead asleep and his grip is so strong- you miss it. You miss him kissing you on the cheek to wake you up in the mornings, and the feeling of his hand on the dip of your waist. His voice always sounds so gruff and sore in the mornings, whispering in English or German or a mix of both as he hides his face in your neck.

The sudden increase in background noise from the other side of the call jolts you out of any sort of fantasizing you were in, thankfully before it went down a path perhaps a bit more appropriate for such a late hour. König speaks up before you have a chance to ask if he needs to leave.

"I have to go; I promise I will try and find another moment to talk to again, ok?" You can hear the sudden rustling around in the background; Some of it from him, some clearly from elsewhere in the room.

He whispers again; Unsure under his breath 'I love you', the words still a bit shy and experimental on his lips. You return it quickly before the line goes dead. You have to reach a hand from under the blanket to lock your phone, staring at the lock screen for a moment.

Now the room feels almost, eerily quiet.

You turn over to set your phone down on the nightstand and turn off the last of the lights, heading to closing your eyes and trying to get some sleep.

When König returns, it's usually not without a fair share of eventfulness.

Normally he spends a day or two somewhere else first before coming back to you, which you understand; He doesn't want to bring 'that side of him' back home. Doing what he does isn’t a 9-5, and it’s not something that’s easy to leave at the front step.

After having a bit to decompress he's finally returned, having just closed the front door. He finished unlacing his combat boots and putting them beside your own shoes, as you shuffled off to get him something to drink after already tackling him. You had nearly jumped on him the moment you hear his key hit the lock, feeling him mumble a surprised but happy greeting against your lips.

Leaning over he goes to pick his pack back up off the ground to move it, but it either gets hooked on something, or the fabric finally gives. Either way the contents then spill out all over the floor, from clothing to whatever else he has stuffed inside.

"Damn it! You fucking piece of-"

The stream of swears he lets out makes you nearly winge, between about how he's going to damn the thing to Hell or set it ablaze. Either or. You try not to smile and quickly go to help him clean up the mess of his belongings that's now scattered all over the floor. You shoo his hands back a bit.

"Here, let me help, instead of you yelling about trying to set it all on fire."

König quickly stops what he was doing, and watches as you come closer. He looks confused for a moment, brow furrowed as if trying to see if you’re just being silly, or got lucky guessing what he was saying.

“...Did you understand me?” He experimentally says; As If in disbelief. You can’t help but smile and respond back.

“Are you surprised?” You cover your mouth and laugh, while cringing.

"Oh god my accent must be terrible, I haven't spoken it to anything other than the-" König bursts up from his awkward squat on the ground and wraps his arms under the crease of your bottom, lifting you off the ground. "-Wall!" Your arms wrap around his neck trying to keep yourself upright while he eagerly kisses your cheek. Over and over again, until it’s nearly red.

"Meine Liebe you sound perfect, how long have you been keeping this from me?" In any other context he probably would've been upset you were keeping secrets from him, especially big ones, but he seems too happy with the outcome to even care.

"A couple months. Long enough that I was scared you might catch me." The idea of him 'catching' you seems to make him laugh, but he still refuses to put you down.

"You made my terrible day so much better, I hope you know." He gives you another kiss this time on the lips, made easier from you being lifted to his height. Your arms snake loosely around shoulders as you giggle against his mouth, fingers tangling in his messy, soft hair. He's long since abandoned his mess on the ground at his feet, finally putting you down only to awkwardly bend over with you and kiss you again. His lips feel soft against yours and his hands cup your jaw so gently, before his lips leave yours with a soft pop.

"I hope you know you don't have to do this for me, liebling."

His eyes are tired from spending so long awake, hair messy and unkempt. You know the moment the excitement is all over he's just going to want to take a nap.

"I know, but I wanted to." You awkwardly try to hug him around the shoulders. "You're dedicated to helping me now, though." König lets out a quiet laugh.

"Of course, but can we take a nap first?" He always says we, as even though you're probably not tired in the slightest, he quietly hopes you'll join him for his own piece of mind. You help him sleep better, he confessed one night.

"Go lay down; I'll pick this all up." Listening to you he leans up to his full height and sluggishly walks off, retreating to your bedroom as you pick up his belongings. You stuff them all in the bag for him to go through himself later, before you follow and find him already face down on the mattress. He barely even bothered to change; Only his trousers are swapped to something more comfortable.

The moment you climb onto the bed with him he's trying to drag you into his arms, wrapping them tight around you and tugging you close to his body like some sort of stuffed animal. He feels so warm, your hands softly laying against his back.

You hear him mumble sleepily; Something about you being his little 'stuffed bear', before he's out like a light.

[softxsuki]

Hello, congratulations on your milestone!!! I am not sure if there are any spots left, but if there are, can you please do the trope enemies to lovers with a tokyo revengers character? Have a nice day and congratulations again!!!

1.5k Follower Event Trope #1 Tokyo Revengers

Trope 1: Enemies to Lovers

This event is now CLOSED. You can check out the masterlist for this event here.

| Pairing: Baji x Gn!Reader | Genre: mmm fluffish?? | Post-Type: Drabble | Word Count: 760 |

Warnings: Slight mention of violence and being killed (baji says it once, no one actually dies)

Note: Thank you so much! I had this one sitting in my google docs for while because I didn't like it, but I reread it today and I think it grew on me after letting it sit there for a while lol. Enjoy :D

“Why are you here again?” Baji spits, not impressed at all.

You were another person Mikey had dragged in, finding you interesting and deeming you both friends, not that you minded. You hadn’t joined Toman, but Mikey always invited you over to their base, and you quickly became fond of many of them, including a certain black-haired man that couldn’t find it in him to accept you.

“Still suspicious of me? Seriously Kei, ever thought about loosening up?” You question, walking past him.

The nickname makes Baji’s heart flutter slighty, much to him mentally refusing to acknowledge it. “Oi, I told you about calling me that name. Stop acting like we’re so close to each other! I don’t want you here,” he grits, hating how unfazed you were by his  ‘hatred’ for you.

“Yeah yeah, I know you like it,” you tease, disappearing down the stairs to head back home for the day.

Since the first time Mikey introduced you to everyone, Baji had his suspicions about you. How could everyone just openly accept you to hang around them and listen in on their meetings? What if you were working for a rival gang, showing up to get intel for them? Why was he the only one suspicious of you? And why did you have such an affect on him? Your carefree attitude, your disregard for being surrounded by dangerous men. He felt so conflicted.

The longer you hung around, the more he let his walls fall, yet he kept that stubborn, rudeness whenever you were with him. He refused to show that he had somewhat trusted you, let alone that he may or may not have a thing for you–though he’d never admit that to anyone, he could barely admit it to himself. 

One day though, you had managed to gain all his trust. You had found a sneaky rat from a rival gang sneaking around Toman’s grounds, just looking for trouble. Could you fight? No. Were you still going to call him out and try and get him to leave? Yes.

You approach the man and begin to threaten him, talking big for someone who couldn’t defend themselves. Baji was watching the whole thing go down from afar. A tinge of suspicion grew as he watched you approach the man who was clearly up to no good and didn’t belong with Toman, but that all vanished as soon as he saw you try and make him leave.

“That idiot,” he grunts to himself, tying his hair up as he makes his way over to you, arriving just in time as the guy goes to throw a punch your way.

Baji quickly pushes you out of the way, and easily beats the guy up, mentally making a note of the gang attire he wore so he could inform Mikey of the situation later.

“Are you insane? It’s like you were just asking to get killed! You should have just shouted for one of us to help, we’d be able to hear you if you screamed loud enough. What kind of idiot who knows they’re weak, tries to fight someone off alone?” Baji went on and on, telling you off, yet all you could do was smile at him.

“Stop looking at me like that with that stupid grin, it isn’t funny”

“Heh, you care about me,” you smirk, egging him on.

“Of cour- What?! NO! No, I don't. What made you ever come to that conclusion?” He screamed, his face growing red at his almost confession. Why were you so irritatingly cute?

He could deny it all he wanted, but it was obvious how he felt for you. Now knowing that he could trust you, he started hanging around you more often. And after a few more months, he became the one who’d invite you over.

“You know…you could just ask me out instead of staring at me all the time. I’d say yes.” You say from beside him, feeling his eyes on you as you sit side by side on the shrine steps.

“What?! I-” He groans, feeling stupid that he was so obvious. With a sigh, he looks away from you. “Then let’s date.” 

You didn’t expect him to actually go along with it. Who knew the man who had hated you so much would be secretly admiring you and finally have the guts to ask you out.

“Sure,” you shrug, feeling your own face heat up.

It would take some time to fully warm up, but dating was the first step, a large step from where you’d been with each other before.

Posted: 1/2/2024

[1eos]

mx kendra, do you have any advice for job hunting? I'm about to start looking(again), but its always so intimidating - have a lovely day!

how it feels to start job hunting in the 2020s:

but yes i have advice for you anon! last time i went job hunting i got serious enough where i was reading 'askamanager' blogs and shit like that to really make sure i wasn't wasting my effort

so kendra's advice to job hunting in the most effort effective way:

first and most importantly is to understand that job hunting rn is simply a numbers game. it's not you it's just that the society we're living in is full of shit. for every 10 job postings, 4 are fake, 1 has an internal candidate in mind already, 3 are just posting jobs to look good and the rest are legit but slow af

bc job hunting is a numbers game its easy to be discouraged if you're not receiving responses consistently as proof that you're not just throwing shit into the void so its superrr imperative to try your best to apply to legit jobs. ive found my best success using indeed as a method of jobs being brought to me and then going on the company website myself and applying. this also doubles as a way to make sure a job posting/company is real

keep a spreadsheet of applied jobs. i just googled 'job application spreadsheet template' and picked one of the first ones i saw, made a copy, and then modified it to suit my needs. keeping a spreadsheet was one of the best things i did bc it can help keep track of jobs you've found and haven't applied to/ones you have applied to/and if you're like me and had a goal of getting a state job i could pre-empt when the interview requests were gonna come in lol 😭

resumes/cover letters. whew. probably the most important part of job hunting. ai scanning or not its a good rule of thumb to have skills mentioned in the job description to match the job posting. what i did was dedicate a folder in my google drive to job stuff and made a folder for each kind of jobs i was interested in. from there i would find a job i wanted to apply to and tailor an old resume to have a bunch of the shit mentioned in the posting on the new resume. i'd save it in the appropriate folder with the date i edited it. if you haven't been in the habit of tailoring your resume you may be doing this a lot but eventually you'll have so many variations you won't have to do much editing if at all. and i do the same with cover letters. i have a general template for my cover letter and then tweak them for each kinds of jobs im looking for. this + ditching linkedin helped me A LOT

create an interview cheatsheet. you probably already know the job hunting sphere has a language and culture all its own. personally as someone with a touch of the 'tism it do not make sense to me so i have unknowingly not navigated interviews as well as i could have. what's helped? ask a manager. seriously. miss allison has helped me blend in as a normie soooo much 😭😭😭😭 if you have any specific questions/have any specific weaknesses just search the site but what really helped me was the list of good interview questions. oh and for the longest i could never come up with a good question to ask my interviewer but one day google recced me this article and now every time i ask 'so what would separate a good candidate from an excellent candidate in this role' and when i tell you my interviewers gag every time lollllll. i also went through 'boost your interview iq' [pdf download link here <3] and jotted down notes on how i can answer common interview questions to quickly be able to go over the night before

study the job posting before the interview btw and try to drum up at least one correlating anecdote for some of the major points of the job bc they WILL ask you that lollllllll

[lullabyalikpoptarot]

TXT Ideal Type Reading

Alright, on to my other faves and let's see what I get. I am not expecting it to be light, like what I thought with Enhypen, let's just look at what the energies and cards have to say.

Yeonjun (3 of Wands/Victory) He would like someone who enjoys traveling. He would want someone who is understandable and could accept a long-distance relationship. I wonder if he would want to date a foreigner, or someone who lives in another country? It is like he would enjoy traveling long distance for this person, this is kind of weird, but okay. I see the victory card, and I think win at all costs, what does that mean? He may like a competitive person, someone willing to fight for him. He may like someone who likes a challenge, someone who is successful in their pursuits. He may like someone who will go the distance, someone persistent and resilient. I see him wanting to travel with this person. I am interested to see what type of boyfriend he will be when I do a reading on this part next. Anyway, he wants someone powerful and someone with a winner spirit. I look at the victory card, and this is someone that shines. He would probably like a celebrity, maybe foreign. I wonder if he has a specific celebrity that fits his exact ideal type, or that he really finds attractive.

Soobin (7 of Cups/Anxiety) Honestly, you know what this is telling me, that once again, this boy has his own problems and isn't worried about an ideal type. This seriously just feels like his energy at the moment. Because these two cards together. I would not understand how these could indicate an ideal type. It is like every time I read for him on a topic, it is like, nah focus on me, I got problems, and this isn't one. I can spin this a certain way to try to see how this fits his ideal, but honestly, it isn't on his mind, and I always go with how I feel, so going to leave it like that. I am a bit worried about him, but at the end of the day I can wish him healing and loving energy. I do believe with these cards, it is more about his mindset, than anything else. He seems to be in a fog and may have difficulties getting out of that. His energy just wants to work on his own sh** before focusing on other things, like I am legit thinking of skipping him for the boyfriend reading tbh. Send this boy healing vibes ya'll.

Beomgyu (10 of Swords/Sixth Chakra Archangel Metatron) Ah, the 10 of swords for him again I see. I can see him as liking someone who is able to work through their difficulties and negative thought patterns. He may want someone who can help him work through that as well. He would want someone to bring him peace and clarity to the situation, like he can overwork his mind and go into a negative spiral, lowkey can get depressed at times, he may want someone who can lift him out of that and change his perspective on things. He wants someone who can see things clearly, see all perspectives, just someone with a clear mindset. A person with a sense of knowing. It is like he is so in his head. He wants someone not like that, so he finds it hard to see things clearly or see the positive, so he wants someone to bring that out of him or allow him to see it. I felt like I repeated myself a lot here lol IHe is kind of just focusing on that, like that is important to him right now in a partner.

Taehyun (Knight of Pentacles/The Temple Path) Well this is nice, he wants someone goal oriented, a bit slow paced, takes their time with things, a dependable and loyal partner. Someone who is persistent and consistent. Someone who is able to prevail against the odds. He would want a steadfast person. Had to google that, so if you don't know it means, dutifully firm and unwavering. He would like them to stay on a path of righteousness, not sure what that means, but that is what I got. He likes them to stay on the right path. He would want a person who makes the right decisions for themselves and others. He would want someone who has a purpose in life, who does good for themselves and others. He may want someone a bit more on the spiritual side, but an overall good person. I just think, doesn't everyone want this, but it seems he finds this very important. It is like a person who has a duty to themselves and others.

Hueningkai (The Hierophant/Man Holding Coin) Okay, first off, this gives me he wants a partner to know his relationships are highly controlled and monitored, yes, that came to me first with these two cards, so that is a point of contention for him. That may annoy him, his past partner, caused problems, who knows, but that was my first thought seeing this, so they may need to understand that. I can also see him as wanting a partner he can grow together with and learn from, like being able to blend their ideas together. Honestly, I am trying to get something else out of this, but the Man holding Coin just gives me their creepy CEO, I ain't saying his name, but I don't like him, I don't care how people try to spin he is a good guy narrative, he doesn't give me that at all, it just gives me him, and his controlling nature, and him not being able to date. I can't get around him being watched and controlled to even date. Wtf is this!? Well, his ideal partner needs to be someone who understands that, is all he gives me here, now I can spin this into something, but I can't shake the feeling and always go with how I feel, at the end of the day, this is just Tarot. I try not to overanalyze these things. I don't know if he is more controlled than the others, or if it just annoys him more, not sure why this showed up.

Now I am very interested to see what they get for the boyfriend reading I do for them next weekend.

[rearranged-fanfic]

(Update 6/3)

Sit down a spell, weary traveler. Come and sit by my fire; bask in the warmth of the flame and rest your aching scrolling finger. You'll be sitting a while, for I have a tale to tell:

Okay, so I've had a Toshiba laptop for the better part of ten years. Maybe a little longer. That laptop has survived being struck by lightning, submerged in a bathtub, and literally having a whole bookcase topple down onto it. I thought it was immortal...

I was sadly mistaken.

About six months ago, I noticed that the typing was getting sluggish. I'd patter away at the keyboard and the letters would appear with a bit of lag. That's fine, since I use Dragon to talk-to-text for quite a bit of my writing. I really only use the keyboard for final assembly, editing, and doing quick rewrites. So, it really didn't bother me. Fastforward to April, which we will call The Great Depression. The time discrepancy between typing and having letters appear on screen became a whopping 40 seconds. Yes, I timed it.

But that was okay, because I could still use my Dragon headset.

Until I couldn't.

It would connect, but the words wouldn't appear on screen. I made sure that all of my programs were up-to-date, and that everything was working. The headset connected to my family's computers just fine. So that meant it was something wrong with mine.

Without being sure if it was the hardware or software at fault, I backed everything up to OneDrive and Google Docs.

I factory reset.

Twice. To no avail.

Over the next few days, my laptop stopped registering any keyboard input at all. It got to a point where I wasn't able to turn it on or off.

Taking it to an electronics store to get repaired didn't help, either. No luck. They said that it would be more cost effective to just buckle down and get a new one, since the age of the laptop meant that I would probably be constantly maintaining it.

My poor Toshiba died kicking and screaming, putting up a fight worthy of an epic ballad.

I saved up for a few weeks, got a new laptop, and went through the rigmarole of getting all of my programs back on it. My files are in order. My life is in shambles (but that's normal, LOL).

I DID do some story work without my computer, but... it's bad. Like, I'd die in shame if I posted anything that I thumbed in. So. Many. Spelling. Errors. How people write on their phone is beyond me. That's a talent I simply don't possess.

At this point, I'm thinking of renaming this story "HIATUS" lol. JK. But I'm seriously peeved that this happened after my last big break. Why couldn't the Depression and laptop breakdown coincide nicely? I guess that's too much to ask of the universe *Shakes fist at the sky*.

I'm creating a damn bingo card for every stupid thing that happens to me while I try to write. Because this is getting ridiculous. I broke my fingers, there was a total solar eclipse, I had a major-ish mental breakdown, and my computer bit the big one. With a free space, that's a bingo. Let's hope I don't get a blackout before the end of 2024.

I doubted the fanfiction curse. I really did. But it's apparently real. And this writer's curse has teeth, people. It bites hard.

I have my MerMay two-shot pretty well done (because I was typing it during The Great Depression), but the next chapter for REARRANGED is still rough. Crimson Chapter 3 is halfway done, but who knows how long that'll take.

The bottom line is that I'm alive and still working on the stories. The next update on this blog will be the posting of several chapters for a few different works. Fingers crossed.

Also, I'm very, very slowly answering the comments in my AO3 inbox. Some of them were pretty lengthy, so it might take a bit. Oof.

If there ever comes a time that I drop this fanfiction or am unable to continue for whatever reason, either I or my husband will be posting the entirety of my outline, as well as anything that's been pre-written for you guys to enjoy. That way there are no questions left unanswered or mysteries unsolved.

[doyawalker]

Out Of Sight, Out Of Mind#10

chapter 9.

contains smoking and a lot of emotions lol

I am currently studying for upcoming exams and I am also working on my bachelor's thesis so updates will be a bit slower now <3

again, thank you all for your love for this series. This chapter will finally spice things up a bit :)

masterlist

previous chapter

taglist: @namjooning-94, @hopefulrascalstatesmantoad, @parkinglot-nights , @y2kcy3brz

__

‘Cause Honestly, You’re Dead To Me

But that was the problem with the truth. The truth wasn’t always easy but oftentimes more complicated. And lies were often not made undone by simply saying ‘I’m sorry’. But what else was there to say? 

The next few days felt weird to you. You spent Saturday and Sunday at home, Saturday to recover from your raging hangover from the party, and Sunday because you felt unwell. Not physically but rather mentally. Your mind was haunted once again by the memories of Jungkook, but not only of those from two years ago this time. You felt it for sure. The way his facade had begun to break, his confident demeanor revealing something underneath that didn’t seem to be so ignorant. But every time you sat down and thought about it, you forced yourself out of spiraling immediately, not willing to accept the fact that he was keeping you up at night again. You tried to remind yourself that this was the exact way it had started back then as well; the attention, the seemed honesty, the emotions. And you had fallen for it back then and you refused to fall for it again. Still, when Tuesday came around and you sat in your seat in the lecture hall, waiting for the professor to start the class and Jungkook let himself fall next to you on the bench, you felt your heart’s pace quicken. But he proved himself to be as disappointing as always. He didn’t mention a word about the party, not a word about the exchange they had, and he sure as hell didn’t let his emotions slip again. No, he acted his usual casual self, making jokes you didn’t laugh about, annoying you about copying your notes, and asking again when the two of you would meet for the group project. And his nonchalant acting annoyed the shit out of you. This was so typical for him that you almost were upset about how you thought he would act differently this time. About hoping that he could maybe change. That he would ever change. But why would he? Hadn’t you given him the impression that he could just act however he wanted and still would get your attention? Hadn’t you given him the satisfaction of gaining access to your life again? Was it your fault again? 

The anger sparked in the pit of your stomach on Tuesday and by Thursday it had developed into a wildfire. And on Friday you finally snapped.

He had convinced you to meet in the library on Friday to start your outline for the presentation. You had met there at seven in the evening and it was currently almost nine. You were still working on the second point of your outline because Jungkook kept on talking about this music project he was working on on the side with Yoongi and Hoseok and quite frankly you didn’t give a fuck. All you cared about was that you were tired, that you couldn’t believe you were stuck with him for the rest of the semester, and that he was not taking this seriously at all, for fucks sake.

“Can we please focus back on this?”, you interrupted him, your voice so harsh that a few people sitting around you turned their heads in your direction. You had your head in between your hands, looking up at him and when your eyes met he furrowed his brows together.

“Are you okay? Do you need a break?”, he asked, concern lacing his voice.

“Yeah, a fucking break from you.”

He grinned, not taking you seriously and it was infuriating.

Pinching the skin between your brows, you sighed in frustration, your eyes wandering back to the laptop screen in front of you, the almost empty Google Doc basically laughing at you. 

At least he finally stopped his monologue, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“What’s wrong?”, he asked.

You scoffed, shaking your head in disbelief. The audacity of him. 

“Nothing.”, you answered, your lips pressed together in a straight line. “Can we just finish this?”. 

He eyed you silently, tilting his head to the side. “You wanna go smoke?”

A sigh escaped your lips. Of course, you couldn’t just finish this.

“Sure.”, you said, the thought of a cigarette easing your mind sounding too good to reject. You used to smoke with him all the time back then. Now you didn’t usually. But you could fucking use one right now.

You stepped outside, still not thanking him for opening the door for you. The sun had already set and the air was chilly, but you weren’t freezing. Maybe it was the annoyance still bubbling in your stomach or maybe it was the warmth his body was radiating, who knew?

He handed you a cig and as you lit it up and took the first drag, the smoke filling your lungs in a familiar way, you felt yourself relax a bit for the first time this evening.

You felt his eyes on you but you chose to ignore it. You didn’t want to talk to him. There was no use in small talk after all.

Your eyes wandered across your campus, seeing a few students walking around, talking, listening to music, or smoking as well. The semester was going by fast, you noticed. 

“Do you wanna tell me now what’s wrong?”

His voice broke the silence, finally forcing your eyes to meet his.

He blew the smoke of his cigarette out into the air, tapping the ashes onto the ground carelessly. 

“Why do you keep asking these dumb questions?”, you sighed, taking the cigarette back between your lips. 

He pulled his brows together. “Why do you keep avoiding my questions?”

“Because you know the answers to them. You just want to hear me say it.”

He chuckled to himself.

“I’m not that cruel.”

“Yes, you are.”

You took another drag, the smoke lingering in the air in front of you. You had never talked with him so openly until now. But there was something about it now, after the club and all the unsaid things. Why play games?

“Is it because of the club?”, he finally asked, leaning his body against one of the walls surrounding the entrance door. 

You looked back up at him, an unreadable expression on his face. He had already finished his cigarette.

“Yes, Jungkook. This is because of the club.”, you answered, your voice a bit louder than you wanted it to be. “Idiot.” “I wanted to talk to you but Tae had to play the big macho guy, didn’t he?”

“You had plenty of time to talk to me this week.”

He scratched his nose, buying himself some time. 

“If you wanna talk, then talk.” 

And that comment was what made you snap. Because you had enough of his audacity, of his arrogance, of his nonchalant ways. You didn’t care about being too open or too emotional anymore, you hated the fact that he just came back into your life like that, without any consequences of his actions from back then. You hated how much he affected you still, how he was so obviously playing with your feelings again because he wasn’t being fucking honest about why the hell he was doing all of this, to begin with. Why bother you? Why make a group with you? Why?

And so you turned your body around to him fully, the hand with the cigarette shaking slightly, maybe due to the nicotine or due to the anger rising up in you, whatever. 

He looked at you with his stoic facade, his arms crossed in front of his chest. But when you started to talk his eyes began to widen.

“For fucks sake, Jungkook. I don’t want to talk to you. YOU are the one that wants to talk. YOU are the one that began to pester me all day around. YOU are the one that keeps on bothering me. YOU are the one that for whatever reason can’t accept a fucking ‘No’ as an answer because I made it clear from the start that I don’t want anything to do with you. Why would I? Maybe you’re gonna keep on trying to make me believe that you don’t remember what happened back then but I know that you know and if you know then you know why I don’t want to spend time with you. And I hate that you are just trying to make me forget about that, do you have any idea how hard it was for me to get over this fucking shit?!”

You came closer to him with every word until you had to tilt your head back to look up at him, your finger drilling itself into his chest, the anger radiating in your chest, almost making you feel dizzy. He simply watched you, his jaw clenched together.

“And then you keep on doing some fucked up shit like in the club, searching for my attention, and then afterward you just keep on acting like everything is normal and fine, do you have any idea how fucking infuriating that is?! You messed with my head back then and now you’re trying to do it again and I am so fucking tired of your fucking bullshit, so you either gonna tell me right now what the fuck is going on with you or you’ll leave me the fuck alone, because I don’t want to do this anymore.”

Your breath had quickened, your heart beating in your chest so loud, that you almost couldn’t hear your own voice. 

The words had come out of you without thinking much and now they were hanging in the air between you, your body so close to his that his perfume was occupying all your senses. 

He didn’t say anything.

His eyes were burning themselves into you, a dark shadow cast over them.

A second went by.

Then another.

And then he finally moved.

“I’m sorry.” 

You could hear him mutter the words under his breath before he surged forward. His hand found your jaw, tilting your head to the side slightly before his lips crashed against yours with a force that almost made you take a step backward.

The world came to a halt. 

Your mind came to a halt. 

Your thoughts stopped processing what was happening for a moment, as you felt his lips move against yours.

He had never kissed you. Never before. Because that was something people in relationships do. And you never were in a relationship with him. 

But now here he was. Kissing you in the dark, his eyes closed, his fingers gripping your jaw gently.

And it wasn’t until you felt his tongue slightly brushing over your bottom lip, that the world finally kept on turning. But your mind stayed blank. 

And so you let yourself fall, caving into him, letting two-year younger you take over. Because they were in bliss right now.

Your arms wrapped around his neck effortlessly as he pulled you even closer, your lips parting for him and he sighed silently. His body was burning against yours, your chest pressed against his, his hands now wandering up to cup your head, burying themselves into your hair. 

His lips felt like heaven against yours and as he kept on moving against you, the heat began to travel down your body into the pit of your stomach. A feeling you never had with him before. All the sex had been fueled by desperation, not lust. This was new. Something you never knew you could feel around him.

But before you could realize the meaning of that, the sound of his phone ringing made you almost jump back from him, breaking away from his contact, and getting some distance between the two of you.

And as he cursed silently, grabbing his phone from his pocket to mute it, the reality of what just happened crashed onto you with such a force that it almost knocked the air out of your lungs.

You stared at him, as panic filled your system, your thoughts beginning to spin in a rapid manner. What the fuck? Self-doubt mixed itself with desire, making you feel nauseous and when he looked back at you, his face distorted with an apologetic look, you had to flee. You couldn’t stay. How could you? You had just let him kiss you. Out of all the people on this planet. How could you ever forgive yourself?

And so you ran. You pushed past him quickly, pushing open the door and leaving him standing outside in the dark. You heard him yell after you but you didn’t turn around.

It had all started with a bet. A simple bet that maybe sounded stupid to someone from outside, but it was a trend going around in his friend group. Five-dollar bets, just to keep it fun. It had been Hoseok’s idea. But maybe one shouldn’t bet on other people’s feelings. Because as he looked after you, knowing that he couldn’t follow you because you would probably kill him, it didn’t feel like he bet on your feelings but rather on his own. 

__

[gingerjolover]

prompt: any of the boys take care of reader after noticing she has disordered eating habits

Trigger warning: disordered eating habits and eating disorder talk, nothing too graphic (your girl is emetophobic lol)

As someone who has had and recovered from an ED, if you need any support or resources please feel free to reach out and if this will trigger you, please skip!!

since I have a lack of Phoebe content I will be writing her first, BUT i do plan to do this prompt with all the boys.

Phoebe:

I'm imagining a scenario where Phoebe keeps pretty good tabs on you, like always checking in and making sure you're okay and taking care of yourself, especially when she's touring and just not around as much. And this isn't because she thinks you're incapable, but she strikes me as the type of partner/lover who wants to be very involved, especially when she's not physically around.

The why isn't so much important as the what. Because she's not around and the boy's busy touring schedule, you've been able to dodge situations where she might've picked up on the fact that you were skipping meals and meticulously tracking what goes into your body, if anything substantial at all. It isn't until she comes home, and she doesn't really notice the first day because you spend most of the day in bed and you narrowly avoid your first mealtime together by blaming eating a big lunch before you picked her up from the airport.

But she knows something is up the next morning when she wakes up early (on purpose) to surprise you with your favorite baked good and presents it to you in bed. You offer to walk Maxine first, saying you missed the pup and walking with your girlfriend, which Phoebe believes, but there's something gnawing at her gut because you left the pastry on your nightstand, not even sparing it a second glance.

You'd both be walking Maxine, hand in hand, when Phoebe tells you one of the few times Julien fell hard on stage, and you laugh a little too hard that you get lightheaded. Phoebe is immediately on high alert and may be coming off a little aggressive in her questioning, "No seriously babe, don't say you're fine, you chuckled and almost fucking passed out," and you immediately close in on yourself, wanting to hide but she keeps pushing and pushing until the dam bursts. You're literally in the front yard when you just spill how you haven't been eating, and she's instantly riddled with guilt, scooping you up and rubbing your back. "Baby, hey... I need you to talk to me... you know I love you, I want the best for you, what's going on?" just so supportive and soft and sweet with you, the side of her you don't see super often since she's so nonchalant and chill normally. She doesn't immediately force you into a program or into a big meal; she does convince you to get checked out at urgent care, where they give you resources and fluids before she finds a safe snack for you to slowly reintroduce.

When you get home she lets you talk it out, letting you rest your head on her chest, her fingers massaging your scalp and back. She feels guilty for being so aggressive, knowing you're a bit ashamed of your recent habits. She does her best to console you without reinforcing any of your behavior, "I know you're struggling baby, I do. I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you, but I'm here now, and I'll always be here, even when I'm not physically home," and "You're stuck with me forever, I need you healthy babe," trying to make light of the situation. She's googling the best way to support you when you eventually fall asleep on her chest; Maxine snuggled with the two of you on the couch.

She tries not to be overbearing as you slowly work out of your habits. she'll be on the road again, you'll be at work getting a random series of texts along the lines of "good morning my dude," "make sure you eat today," "love you so much," and then when you don't answer her texts she'll call, sheepishly asking you what you had for breakfast.

She tries not to watch you like a hawk, but there's always a part of her that's a bit overprotective, especially when you start eating intuitively and listening to your hunger cues; she gets a little flighty when you tell her you're not hungry, but she knows to trust you, and if you needed help, you would ask. At the end of the day, she just loves you so much, and even if she is chill about it, she's obsessed with you and only wants the best for you.

[imjustspirit]

A very sane rant about the Epilogue

Wrote this after I finished reading the epilogue and needed to rant lol. Spoilers obviously

oh my lord what a TORTUROUS epilogue I just read like seriously???

Don't get me wrong, it's well written like the rest of the story, but it is just 35 chapters of the characters getting pulled around getting destroyed like oml

I read episode 99 this morning and it was an incredible end, open-ended in a perfect way and I cried a little. I was then like, oh I should read the epilogue now, I'm sure it will just be KDJ looking down on his companions to see how they're growing and how everyone eventually moves forward and forges ahead with him still in their hearts. What a mistake that was.

First I quickly clocked onto the fact that this was only an epilogue thematically (?) and was actually just a continuation of the story, which was cool. And then I actually started reading it and 👁️👁️

KDJ gets called out in a way very suiting of the scene by the one who was most likely to notice, HSY and it's a great scene which made me thing that, at least epilogue 1, was going to be about them coming to terms with this 49% KDJ. Then it started spiralling

What could have been a seemingly very nice and deep epilogue about coming to terms turned into the author repeatedly tearing into the characters. It's 35 chapters of the characters desperately trying to save KDJ only to fail, despair, and bicker. They are given hope after hope and it is just torn away every time and as the reader you feel it every time as well, every time you think the resolution is round the corner it gets yanked away.

It is soul destroying to see how they all fall apart and separate, especially after turn 1865 which just made the who situation worse, then they fight, then a solution is found, which then goes wrong again, then it starts going right, only for it to go wrong again again

And on the final chapter, hope is gifted back to us, only for us to never see it come to fruition, because the story was never for us readers. It existed, and always has existed, for one reader, one Dokja, and I'm not them.

When I shared this last part, someone pointed out that "we are all that one reader, by reading this story, we helped that ending we want to see come to pass. as much as we write the ending by imagining it, it's also telling us: that ending can't exist without us. dokja won't make it without us. so we have to survive, too." which I believe to be a very interesting point of view.

I had personally read it more as I am a 'collateral' reader, someone who happened to find the story on its way to dokja, and in return for helping it spread, I was allowed to view that story and enjoy it myself. However, when it's re-read under the context they presented, it reveals a different, although still, very interesting concept. The idea that everyone is the reader serves to validate our own imaginations. It tells us that our interpretations, understandings, and derivatives, are all correct, as long as we continue to create them, and someone continues to view them. It a much more hopeful perspective for a collective fanbase such as the one surrounding orv.

Anyway amazing epilogue which perfectly characterised everyone to end off the incredible story, I'm going to go finish my looming assignments before I end up locating the side-stories I need to read or googling fan-fics :D

[i-sveikata]

Hiiii!

I just wanted to tell you that I LOVED this chapter. It was so long, it took me half a day to read and I loved it all the way! I love to dedicate one peaceful day to read it all without rushing so I'm glad I had free time!! I can't even believe you had even more previously written. And I can't help but think you have generously left in the fingering scene just at the end of the chapter! Thank you so much, we have been waiting for so long and it was worth it!! Good for Pete too lol.

It's insane how these sex scenes feel more intimate and intense than before. I loved all these honest conversations in the car. They needed it just as we did.

And Vegas just wanted to cuddle 😭😭😭 Omg this poor little meow meow wants cuddles and doesn't know how to communicate his needs! Poor baby, he is so confused with all these emotions. And Pete just hugged him and made him feel safe 😭 I can't, this was so goooood and sad at the same time. They really leveled up their relationship in these few hours, I'm so happy for them!! I love how Pete learned how to comfort Vegas and this is so important for the next possible hardships with Russians or the main family. Pete putting his hand on Vegas's neck👌

I honestly would love for them to create more trust and understanding. It would make them more powerful for the future.

Another thing is I really liked the description of the hotel. Honestly would love to be there myself 😅 Did you took some specific references for this hotel?

I will write again when I will reread the chapter and have more thoughts 😅

Thank you so much for this one! It was a delight and I'm so glad you keep going after all this time. Your skills and dedication are excellent! ❤️

Oh thank you so much!!!! That makes me so happy 💛 ahh that sounds so nice to just dedicate your time for a peaceful read what a vibe! Yeah omg me severely underestimating how much I’d written was actually so so funny. But added plus now heaps of the next chapter is already written (and the wait will be nowhere near as long as the last break)

Ngl I absolutely made sure the fingering stayed in this chap hahaha because I know I’d teased a few things that I didn’t even up giving you all!! So mean lmao (and totally not intentional seriously my bad there) yes the intimacy between them is most definitely deepening!! They are descending very quickly into a full partnership with each other which was what a lot of those conversations in the car helped represent (and clear up any of the uncertainties that either of them had)

Yesss Vegas reaching out to him because he had an emotional need that wasn’t being fulfilled is a HUGE step for him especially because Pete was able to sift through his self destructive nonsense to figure out what he was trying to do. Yeah for sure they’re developing further as a couple in a lot of interesting ways that we haven’t seen yet it’s so fun to watch it unfold!!

Yes they’ve had a bit of a setback from the coup trust wise but Pete knows Vegas wants to fix things and prove that he won’t abandon Pete like that again and I think Pete also learned a pretty important lesson about assuming that he always has control (even if most of the time that control is willingly given by Vegas) but yes when they work through that it will definitely make them stronger in future!

Omg lol the hotel is REAL. I just googled 5 star hotels and picked a place based off vibes, then I went though all of the pictures on like TripAdvisor lmao author research dedication for real 😂

Oh totally fine we love more thoughts!! Thank you so much for saying so you’re really sweet and I super appreciate it!!

[poetoflawed]

Family Man

Part 1 Word count: 947 Ok so this post is based on this previous idea I had Pls do not plagiarize Beware of Google Translate lol

3rd POV Rafeal and Y/n make their way through the airport. Y/n turns to Rafeal, “Do you really have to go?” She knows the answer. They’ve talked about this extensively. “Mi amor que estás haciendo ahora? You know I have to. This is for both of us.” He holds her face in his hands, “I have to become someone, someone worthy of you. Someone who makes a difference. Por favor entiende mi amor.” She pulls her face away, “But por qué? I know this is what you want, what you need. But why can’t you stay. Stay here with me. I’m sorry, I know i’m being selfish, but i love you.” “Don’t worry. We got this. te amo completamente.” He looks in her eyes reassuringly, picks up his duffle and moves towards the gate.

13 years later … Rafeal is a lawyer. The esteemed A.D.A Rafael Barba. The A.D.A who works with NYPD’s SVU unit. He lives a somewhat glamorous life of suits and ties. He is a man known to be notorious for being so busy his personal life is almost non existent. He is a bachelor, living a high stress busy life. One so full, relationships past the occasional hook up, are not likely. A recent case having pulled him resulted in him ordering an emergency meeting on Christmas Day, with the NYPD detectives. As the holidays progress, while going over case notes, he gets a message to contact Y/n, but, even though he remembers her, he ignores it and does not return her call.

Rafael’s POV

This case is gonna be the death of me. Hijo de puta, I’m late. My mind is full and racing. This case needs to go well, this woman, this victim. This never should have happened, and I need to help. I barely notice when I make it to the little convenience store near my building. Needing to pick up some milk I make my way inside, as I'm looking through the aisles I hear a commotion at the cash.

“I'm not gonna cash it man. It's fake!” “NO it Ain’t! Cash the fuckin ticked asshole!” “NO” “Oh yeah?” the man pulls out a handgun and my eyes widen a little “Wait!” The fuck are you doing i think to myself as the man turns to me gun at his side, “How much is the ticket worth-” I notice his face getting more irritated, “I-I’lll buy it off you.” I show the three hundred dollar bills in my hand, “Seriously, take it and cut your losses man. This isn't worth a record.” He stashes his gun back in his coat, grabs the bills from my hand, and throws the ticket on the counter as he turns out of the store. I stood there for a minute and let out the breath I didn't realize I was holding. I make my way outside catching up to the man from before, “Here,” I hand him a prepackaged sandwich, “I have a feeling you might want this. Do you have anywhere to go?” “I'm fine man. Leave me alone.” “Are you sure?” I might be a cynic but I still wanna help people. “Lemme ask you something man,what's missing from your life! Think about that!” “I have everything I need already.” I say, baffled. The man looks at me, annoyed and just turns on his heel and starts stalking away down the street. Baffled, I return to my penthouse and sleep.

The golden rays of sunshine hit my eyes suddenly, and then i realize its Christmas day again. I realize there's breathing coming from next to me. I roll over and am met with the (still) beautiful sleeping face of Y/n. My eyes widen and I sit up, as i'm sitting in bed confused, with my breath picking up, I see a child, a young girl, staring at me from the door to the room.

“Papi, can you make me some food please?”

I sit there baffled, Y/n slowly wakes up, “Mmmhmmm what's up baby?” she's asking, slowly waking up. As she slowly sits up in bed my confusion intensifies as I look at her, the girl I left my first year at Harvard, sitting in a bed I've never seen, pregnant. With what appears to be the second child. I look from the woman to the girl, throwing myself from the bed, “Raf?” “Papi?” As I sprint downstairs, I search for some keys as my head swims.

What the actual fuck is happening right now????

As I run outside I realize i'm not in New york anymore but rather suburban New Jersey. As I drive frantically back to the precinct I make my way inside, desperate and only in my pajamas and winter coat, I walk up to the front desk. “Jenny, I need benson.” i’m panting and confusion flashes in my eye when she frowns at me, “And who are you sir?” “Jenny… what… you know me…” my brows crease. “Sir how do you know my name?” she asks nervously. My confusion turns to anger now, “Jenny i was at your baby shower a year ago, your sons name is Grant, he went through a phase where he only ate cheese. Please, PLEASE. You know me!” Her eyes are wide now, fear evident. Slowly she reaches for the phone on her desk “Ok sir,” She nods over to a uniform and nudges my way “this is officer Kapal, he’ll show you to a room where you can wait for the detective.” “Thank you, finally” i let out a breath of air, and follow the officer to one of the rooms.

[daddyfordaeddy]

Pairing: Soobin x fem!Reader

Word Count: 754

Warnings: cursing and thats all i think (smut warnings under cut)

Genre: smut, fluff, rated m for mature, established relationship au

Summary: You’re home alone for Christmas...or so you think. Your boyfriend surprises you with a warm, warm welcome.

Smut warnings: fingering...the end that's literally it lol

To @gyuhanniescarat <3 i'm ur cod secret santa !! sorry it's kinda sloppy!! i swear i had more written then google docs fucked me over and i just wanted to get it out on time :')

Thank you to @wongyuseokie for the banner <33

-

When you arrive home, you’re expecting a dark house. Your boyfriend, Soobin, was visiting his family for the holidays so you were expecting to spend your Christmas busy, on phone calls and video chat with your family. But when the door cracks open, you see the lights are on and a delicious smell wafting through the air. And to your pleasant surprise, Soobin stands in the doorway with his signature cute smile.

“Bin-ah? What are you doing here?” He opens his arms and you slip into his hug easily. “I wasn’t expecting you back for another week.”

Soobin hums, cupping your face with his hands that you oh-so adore. “Wanted to surprise you, baby. Are you surprised?”

You laugh, leaning up to press a quick kiss to his lips. “Very. It’s sweet to see you here and a welcome break from my back-to-back Christmases with my family online and my friends in person,” you giggle and Soobin nods seriously as if you were talking about your thesis.

His arms wrap around your lower back as he pulls you impossibly close. “Shall we celebrate together? There’s cookies in the kitchen but they’re cooling down so we have to do something else in the mean time.” His hands slide lower and your lips pull into a crooked smile at his insinuation.

Instead of gracing him with a response, you just drape your arms over his shoulders and pull him in for a deeper kiss. One of his hands grasps at your thick thighs and the other wraps around your waist and you take the hint, jumping up and letting him hold your weight up as he brings you over to the couch.

“Couch, Soobin? That’s a new one,” you tease, and Soobin grins a boyish grin as he sets you down gently, letting his hands roam all over your body. You’re quickly silenced, however, when his hands squeeze at your boobs and his lips press against your clavicle.

“Just let me enjoy you, baby,” Soobin groans, his hand snaking down into your sleep shorts and your hips buck up as he presses his long fingers against your clit. “God, look at you, so eager for just my fingers?”

You nod quickly, eyes shining as you pull him in for yet another kiss. You can’t seem to get enough of Soobin’s lips, but he won’t complain. Not when you’re so excited about what he has planned.

His fingers slowly push inside of you and you throw your head back in pleasure. “Fuck, baby,” you moan, hips jerking. “More, please please please,” you plead and Soobin’s cock jumps in his pants at how blissed-out you sound already.

“Fuck, you’re so needy for me,” he groans, leaning down to mouth at your neck, his teeth scraping over the sensitive skin. “Love the way you beg so nicely for me, could have you under me like this for days.” He curls his fingers up and you let out such a loud moan you’re glad your neighbours are away for the holidays because you surely would have noise complaints.

Your hands grip his shirt and your thighs clench around his hand but Soobin pays it no mind, using his thumb to rub at your clit. You’re so close, the way his hands move bringing you to your orgasm so perfectly and you bury your head in his shoulder as tears form in your eyes at the waves of pleasure washing over you. You’re pretty sure you’ve soaked through your underwear at this point and his shirt has wet spots from your tears but neither you nor him seem to mind.

“So perfect around my fingers,” Soobin sighs, pulling the digits out of you and bringing them to his mouth. “Could do this all day, would you like that? Your Christmas present just letting me ravish you?”

You nod happily, your hand moving to press against the obvious bulge in his pants but Soobin steps away, leaning down to scoop you up instead. “Ah, wait–” you gasp in shock but Soobin chuckles and presses a kiss to the top of your head.

“Not yet, baby,” Soobin hums into your hair. “Tonight’s all about you. Let me worship you tonight and I promise you can do whatever at the end.”

Instead of waiting for a response from you, he dips his head to take your breath away with a kiss. Your hands come up to tangle themselves in his hair and you gasp into your mouth at the prospect of what’s to come.

-

@cultofdionysusnet