#i say 'might' but let's not lie
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perfect wife
words: 1.9k
warnings: 18+ only, smut, p in v sex, unprotected sex, breeding, mating press, established relationship, marriage, housewife stuff? cooking and cleaning
taglist: @drewstarkeyslut @thelomlisrafecameron @f4ll-for-you @dilvcv @drudyslut @drewsbabygirll @jjmaybankswifes-blog @rafescokenostril @jjsmarijuana @jjmaybankisbae @seeingstarks @angelofcigs @cece45450 @babygorewhore @vanessa-rafesgirl @michelleisheres-blog
it’s not that you enjoy cleaning all the time, but you get in certain moods, when your energy level is high and you got enough sleep the night before, that you absolutely love to clean, especially satisfying deep cleans.
today happens to be one of those days, and ever since you woke up, smiling at the note that rafe left you on his pillow, wishing you a good morning and saying he regretted not being there with you upon waking up, but also couldn’t bear rousing you from your sleep when he had to leave for work. it makes your heart flutter to see it signed not by his name but rather ‘from, your husband.’
you’ve been married to rafe for two whole months now, and it feels like a fairytale, somehow even better than being his girlfriend. you feel like a truly good wife as you already scrubbed all the bathrooms spotless before 10 am, and are now working on the common areas before hopefully cleaning the bedroom before rafe gets home from work.
you hum along to the music you have playing throughout the house wide sound system as you wipe down dusty surfaces, taking care to clean all the little crevices that normally get missed.
time flies and before you realize, your stomach starts to grumble as noon rolls by. you take a pause from your work, having just finished the living room, and move into the kitchen, deciding to make yourself some food before getting to cleaning.
you love to bake, but cooking is not your favorite thing, so you make yourself something simple before you get a spark of creativity, making a stew to simmer so it would be ready by the time rafe got home around dinner. you finish your meal, having disregarded it halfway through to make the stew.
you clean the kitchen while stirring occasionally before it gets to the point that you can lower the temperature and walk away, now off to clean the bedroom. you grab rafes hamper, filled with clean clothes that he didn’t have time to put away last night, too busy kissing and cuddling with you in bed.
you dump them onto the freshly washed bedsheets, taking the time and care to crisply fold everything or hang up what went on hangers. you even spend some time organizing rafes closet. he kept it pretty clean already, but you wanted to make everything perfect.
you run downstairs to check your stew before continuing onto your closet, it being a much bigger mess than rafes. you have a terrible habit of trying on clothes, deciding its not want you want to wear for the day, and tossing it onto the floor instead of putting it properly away.
“baby!” you hear rafe shout just as you finish up. you quickly flatten your hands over the comforter on the bed, smoothing out any creases to make the room truly flawless before you rush down the stairs, greeting your husband with a kiss as your arms loop around his shoulders.
“something smells good.” rafe says, taking a sniff of the entryway, the smell of the stew having radiated throughout the whole house.
“i made you food.” you tell him, smoothing your hands over his shoulders, keeping your body close to his having missed him all day. “it should be ready in about 30 minutes, just enough time for you to shower.” you know rafes routine well enough, he liked to shower right when he got home from work, to wash the day away.
“you’re the most perfect wife ever.” rafe bends his head to press kisses to your neck, making you giggle when he focuses on your ticklish spot.
“go shower!” you shoo him away, wanting him to have the soup when it is nice and hot.
“love you, honey.” rafe kisses your cheek before heading up the stairs. you echo the words back to him before heading towards the kitchen to check on the stew, but pause when you hear rafe calling your name from your bedroom.
you rush up the stairs, worried that you maybe accidentally threw something out that was important or moved something and he didn’t know where it was.
“what is it rafey?” you question, eyes wide as you see him looking around the room.
“you cleaned all this while i was at work? and put away my laundry?” rafe questions, seeing that even the baseboards have been cleaned of the bit of dust that always collects on them.
you give a shrug. “i like cleaning for you.” “you know you don’t have to do all this baby.” rafe moves to wrap his arms around your waist. “i mean i appreciate it, but don’t feel like you’re required to now that we are married.” “i know.” you smile, cupping his jaw in your hands. “i seriously just wanted to.” “okay.” rafe nods, satisfied with your answer. he knows you get little bursts of cleaning, but doesn’t want you to get the wrong impression about your role, even if you do stay home while he is at work.
“go shower.” you press a kiss to rafes lips before leaving him in the bedroom, smirking to yourself knowing that he’s about to see that you cleaned the bathroom as well.
you return to the stovetop, stirring everything together before preparing the final touches, even setting out the perfect silverware for the occasion, choosing the dining room for such a meal rather than the island where you and rafe usually eat.
you jump when rafe enters the kitchen. he always moves so quietly through the house that it catches you off guard.
“god, if we weren’t already married i would propose to you all over again right now.” rafe wraps his arms around your waist as you work on ladling the stew into individual bowls, deciding to keep the rest in the pot on the stove for easy splitting up into tupperware later.
“i like making food for you.” you hum. “don’t expect it all the time though, i also love getting take out.”
rafe laughs and nods his head in agreement, you have a habit of ordering food at least two times a week, making it a tradition on fridays to watch an episode of tv while you eat in the living room.
“let me carry them in.” rafe stops you before you can carry the bowls yourself, picking them up and following you into the dining room.
you blow on your spoon to cool the stew as rafe begins to eat, commentating over and over how delicious it is, even going so far as to moan and roll his eyes back into his head, but when you take a bite you can’t help but admit that it’s very good.
“when we finish eating-” rafe says after a few minutes of silence, too engrossed in your meal. “i’m going to take you upstairs and fuck you.” “rafe!” you giggle at the sudden lewdness.
“i’m serious, baby. i need to after you did all this cleaning, put away my laundry and made me food? i need to put a baby in you immediately.”
“well… hurry up and get back to eating.” you gesture to rafe. you talked about having kids after marriage, but this was the first time since your wedding that rafe brought up actually bringing them into the world.
you both rush through the rest of your meals, leaving the dishes on the table to be taken care of tomorrow as rafe sweeps you into his arms, carrying you up the stairs with ease. he sets you down on the bed, his lips connecting with yours as he works on taking off his pants, throwing them in the general direction of his hamper before pulling away to pull your shirt off over your head.
“i can’t fucking wait to see you all filled up with my kid.” rafe says, massaging your breasts through your bra, unable to keep his hands off of them, even to take off the fabric covering them.
“need that so bad, rafey.” you whimper. you’ve always wanted to be a mom, and it feels like the perfect time to make that dream a reality.
“gotta fuck you now, princess.” rafe says, quickly taking his shirt off, his cock already completely hard as he pulls his underwear down, clearly excited to put a baby into you.
you reach behind your back to take your bra off before sliding your leggings and underwear down in one go, needing rafe just as desperately as he needs you. you move up the bed, resting your head on the pillow as rafe moves to hover over you.
“i would eat you out or finger you but i need this right now.” rafe says, reaching down to rub at your clit as his tip presses against your entrance.
“i need you right now too.” you tell him, letting out a moan as he pushes in, moving slowly to let you adjust. you wrap your arms around his shoulders, rafes chest heaving with deep breaths, trying to control himself.
“you can move.” you tell rafe after a minute. he doesn’t give even a second for your comment to sit before he is thrusting in and out, making your joint moans echo throughout the room.
rafe presses sloppy kisses against yours, lips vibrating together when you’re both unable to hold back your noises of pleasure. “feels so good.” you whimper, his thumb still rubbing against your clit, never stopping making you feel good.
“i know it does, princess.” rafe says. “you’re doing so good for me. gonna fill you up real good.” “you’re gonna be the best daddy.” you tell rafe, and its true, you know just from the way he treats you, how he straightened out and takes care of you, that he’s going to be an amazing dad.
“fuck-” rafe curses, somehow able to move faster, slamming in and out of you, annihilating your cunt with the ferocity he is thrusting into you at. rafe is grunting with the effort he is giving as you grip his shoulders tightly, sure to leave red marks from your nails come morning.
“gonna go fucking crazy, your pussy is so good.” rafe says, as if he hasn’t already gone crazy with the way he’s fucking into you.
“keep rubbing rafe, i’m close.” you moan, back arching off the bed as his thumb rubs over your clit easily due to your slick.
“cum for me princess.” rafe begs you, needing to feel your cunt squeeze around him. you’d never deny your husband as he rubs you to orgasm, entire body shaking as your high hits you, moaning wildly as rafes cock maintains its blistering pace.
as soon as your clit pulses underneath his finger and your back settles back against the bed, rafe moves, pulling out briefly to reposition you, slotting his hands underneath your knees and pushing your legs up and open, spreading your cunt wide for him before his cock reenters you.
he begins to thrust immediately, keeping up the aggressive, feral pace. you’re so sensitive from your orgasm but you can’t complain when you know he’s working to get his cum inside of you, to fill you up, to grow your family.
“gonna cum.” rafe warns briefly, his words slurred out, his eyes half lidded from the ecstasy of your cunt as he pushes in for a final time, shooting his cum as deep as he can, leaning forward and pressing you into the mattress, not even caring as your thighs burn from the stretch.
rafe grinds himself into you until there is nothing more to release, moving your legs back to a more comfortable position but keeping his dick buried deep inside of you.
rafe looks at you with a smile, his sweaty hair sticking to his forehead. “gotta make sure it takes.”
#i kind of hate this.#it just didnt turn out the way i wanted it to#idk#i hope yall like it i guess#i swear im not saying this just to like#have people tell me they like it#i am just not as happy as i could be but i think i need to start over completely#so we might see a similar concept in the future#gotta let it lie for right now and figure out what needs to change#rafe smut#rafe cameron smut#obx smut#outer banks smut#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron fic#rafe fic#rafe cameron fanfic#rafe cameron x reader#rafe x reader#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe fanfic#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron one shot
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ultimately!
#ELIIIIIIII YOU CANT SAY THAT ELIIIIIIIIIIII#audiof from not even emily latest video go watch literally its so fuckingfunny#dont even ask me how eli fits in hance' 5'2 dad's clothes pls ok#my art#digital art#oc art#anthro art#not even gonna lie i thfought i wasnt gonan finish this but we pulled thru#if quality gets murdered i will cry#swhy are all my favorite drawings baby sugar and eliyah interacting#i like themb#i was gonna add fucking comical cartoon slipping noises when her antler popped off but imovie literalsly. it didnt work it wpuldnt let me#vid too biggy#also noahs ark esque announcement for ppl thta read my evil ramble tags i miiight nuke sanguinary univers bc i love my ocs too much to like#like i dont wanna marry my first idea and i love them too much to box them into a project I PERSONALLY FEEL LIKE I FUMBLED LIKE#OK LITERALLY NO INSULT WHATSOEVER TO ANYONE WHO MIGHT LIKE IT BUT IT WAS my firsy ever comic and i feeeeel like i can do betteeerrr a#meowweooww#like if it was small things i wanted to change i could juts panel edit but its like. major things like when i started chapter 1 i had#LITERALLY NO PLAN JUST MY nerdy vampire obsession. which is still present. giggle h#breaking news boygirl learns that they arent rlly proudof the writing in comic thye started when they were a teenager#ALSO I LITERALLY HAVE LORE THAT IVE. BEEN MAKING THAT CONTRADICTS THINGS (? PROBABLY) SO ok trust me ok just trust m#also yes this is what i’ve been working on except that animatsuon i mentioned with eli crying because priorities or someth#not except wtf i mean insyead or some other shit#also i just looked at this wall of text on mobile and like ew shut up little gay
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Hijoushoku to Gochisou / A Feast of Emergency Rations
Mayonaka no Waltz / Midnight Waltz
Nagabe
#Nagabe#asd#Manga comp#Idk how do i tag this. Just pages that resonated. I need to make a bird fursona asap now#The white king was also very good. The themes and situations unique to their circumstances are super interesting.#No reflection vampire. zoo lion king outcast. etc living a lie…….#The midnight waltz metaphor for ‘let’s just pretend we don’t think they’re weird to spare them’ autism is soooo#Though now that i read the anthology i also am more conflicted on nagabe than ever… I should have known when i#skimmed Wizdoms… i hear monotone blue is super good tho?#Hesitated on putting the ‘who says i don’t know love? Unlike humans i don’t need to give names to things’ white king bit in but nahh#Feast of emergency rations is rotating in my brain like rotisserie chicken btw. I love them?? Might make fanart#Anyways yeah. Just bits that drive the ‘nonhuman characters and why autistic ppl resonate’ point home
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Also, in response to the "testosterone making people angrier" myth, I've found that, personally, testosterone has given me the self-respect to recognize and call out when my boundaries are being overstepped in ways that I wouldn't have had the courage (or, frankly even liking of myself) to have done before. This is in addition to me working on my trauma responses, but testosterone was the spark that gave me the will to do this in the first place. When I see people sae that as anger and thus is a "bad thing," I wonder how much of that is just people being uncomfortable with us... having boundaries or enforcing them, and that the response to that overstepping is labeled as aggressive anger.
Frankly, I now actually respect myself enough to care when I am being mistreated. It seems that people sometimes take that as a personal failure on my end because I don't think I deserve mistreatment.
Caveat: Anger is a fine emotion, and it is a worthy thing to recognize and honour. I find that the accusation of trans men* and trans masc* people "being angry" on testosterone is a moot point simply because it is often a false accusation which uses anger as a punishment. My issue isn't that we're "angry," but that our perceived anger is used, often, as a transphobic bludgeon to punish those who either want to transition with testosterone or who currently are, and everything in-between.
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#nonbinary#transphobia#transphobia tw#unpopular opinion i guess but: trans man* and transmasc* anger is a fine thing and more people ought to express it without fear#basically i want to start a punk band with some other trans guys/trans guys+ who are Angry and Will Express It#like not going to lie but i had no boundaries before because i HATED myself...#...so it's pretty weird when people almost... miss that they could have taken advantage of me had i not realized my worth#like why does my Testosterone Anger say something bad about me when you MISS that you could have taken advantage of my self-hatred. like. hm#anyway. i let myself be angry now because i have realized that i deserve to express my full range of emotions#i notice that many trans people start asserting themselves way more when they transition gow they want/need to...#...and i think part of it is that many of us start to get out of the rut of feeling Horrible 24/7/365...#...so when people express they 'miss the old [you]' to me that's a red flag...#...because... do you miss that person pre-transition or do you miss their abject misery and passivity?#this might be a generalization because of tumblr's tag character limit#but i have noticed this with a few trans people when they are openly/currently transitioning#this isn't me saying that this is universal but just... something i have Taken Notice Of#and it seems weird to me that this hasn't only just happened to me because. it just feels...... gross
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i know i said i was happy about how mel's story went, but the more i think about it the less i'm sure about that. this is very much connected to how the themes of classism and wealth disappeared in s2, but mel in the beginning was the epitome of piltover. she wanted to advance piltover to prove herself to her mother. to "put piltover—" and by extension herself, "—on the map."
she wanted wealth just to have it. and i'm not blaming her for anything that happened, especially with hextech! she, just like jayce and viktor, could not have known what it would lead to. i mean yeah heimerdinger said so but who the hell listens to heimerdinger? but anyway i think mel changed throughout s1, much in thanks to jayce. by the end she's become more cognisant of the mistreatment of zaunites. she's the first to vote for their peace. she was a good person all along but now she knows how to act on it. it's also seen more in s2 act 1. when she covers her painting with gold, it's symbolic—she won't act according to what her mother might think. she won't let her desire for approval dictate her anymore.
so somehow i wish those themes were. continued, somehow? like again they were dropped not just with mel but the whole show and it makes her story a off to me. there's no meaningful commentary on war or classism or how her ideology stands opposite to her mother's. like some people have said, it feels like she doesn't have much agency, even if she is really cool. and that to me is a shame because agency felt like her thing. "to shape your own destiny" as she says to jayce in s1. i know her collaborating with the black rose (but not fully joining them) and learning magic is supposed to represent becoming independent from her mother, taking her own path, but some other aspects of her character were thrown away... the more i think about it the more i'm thinking they kind of #girlboss-ed her a little bit. maybe to sell another champion. i can't help but feel like even though i enjoyed seeing her on screen, the payoff didn't feel proportionally satisfying compared to her setup in s1.
#mel medarda#her characteristics; the whole point of her dichotomy with her mom;#is that she does not use violence. she fights and controls with words.#with her intelligence. with her knowledge of people and their minds.#so now thinking about it i'm a little :/ that not only#did we not get to see a lot of that in s2#but she just. became another fighter?#i also know there was that whole thing about how mages aren't accepted in noxus but#honestly? kind of stupid. magic violence is still violence.#and i know arcane retcons a lot of things but.#the lore noxus. was not like that iirc. and it feels like a strange thing to just make up.#done in service just to make mel a Cool Badass Mage™ while still saying#hey guys! she's still different from her mom don't worry!#also. hey. hey. why is she going back to noxus. can someone to explain that to me#like ok i know it's her only connection left. i kinda understand.#but at the same time...? what. is she gonna do there#i know sevimel is a crackship but i kinda wished she stayed in piltover to help#better things for zaunites. and help sevika on the council#(god knows she needs it)#that might have been a fitting conclusion to her character. to me!#look i cant lie and say i hated watching mel be all badass like. she's awesome.#but character writing wise... kind of let down?#we didn't even get to know more about her past or where she's from.#and yes i know they're prolly going to explain it in the new show because they were noxusbaiting hard.#but man... i don't know...#sorry holy shit that's a lot of words.#if anyone has any opinions would love to hear them. still very conflicted on this whole thing.#it just feels like i'm missing something.#arcane
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(regarding the Fort Merceus scene)
"Claude doesn't know as much about the Seiros faith because he's an outsider" thanks for ignoring the entire point of Claude's route just to insist he doesn't grow as a character
Ohhh wait, no, it's not that he's not knowledgeable, it's just him definitely lying! Because disagreements? Regarding tenets of a religion? Impossible! Claude must be feigning ignorance and lying because that's all he does as a character! He's tricking the diligent Lorenz into thinking things that aren't true, because Church Bad and Claude would never tell the truth!
#sorry saw this take and HAD to poke fun at it because what was the game plan here for Claude#if it's so obvious it's a lie and everyone would KNOW it's a lie then NO ONE WOULD BELIEVE HIM LMAO#literally there'd be no point in lying. might as well also say that grass is purple at that point#also tf would Lorenz ''I only pray to look good to commoners'' Hellman Gloucester actually know about the faith#like he literally says he ISN'T a devout believer. like. he says that damn near verbatim. he is not a devoted follower#so he's not some all-knowing expert on the faith or anything#like Garreg Mach literally does trade with foreign nations and lets in foreign students so he can't be THAT correct lmao#and the fact that Claude bringing this up isn't immediately met with. the fucking ''actually it literally does'' thing from Hopes like BRUH#WAIT#WHY WOULDN'T LITERALLY E V E R Y O N E BRING UP THE SUPPOSED PROHIBITIONS TO OUTSIDE CONTACT SHIT THE CHURCH ''DOES''#IF WHAT CLAUDE SAYS HERE IS APPARENTLY FULL OF SHIT??? can we use our thinking caps FOR ONCE regarding Claude i am BEGGING#he GIGA couldn't get away with the ''lie'' if that shit from Hopes actually existed like come ON now people what are we doing#also you know who IS an ACTUALLY devout believer who DOESN'T call out Claude and straight up tells LORENZ to stfu? Judith#so there's that too#and Marianne! she says nothing about this being contradictory either and she's WAY more faithful than Lorenz is#these people want Claude to be a one-dimensional liar who never grows as a character SO BAD
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Dungeon Meshi omegaverse headcanons because I can
1) the different human folks have different versions and different degrees but we’re gonna focus on the elves because I want to
2) afab alphas and amab omegas are just a thing that happens, it’s pretty normal and not considered worth commenting on unless you’re really insular, so while there are some sexist stereotypes (like that afab alphas are more attentive parents, although not as good as any omega) it’s not on the “male omega bad” side
It’s about 20% of the alpha/omega population (and betas make up about 60% of the human population so 8% of people total), so not hugely common but way more common than red hair and only a little less than being left handed
Some amab omegas can carry children (especially with magical assistance) and it’s actually a little easier for afab alphas to sire children, since that’s a one time output rather than a prolonged physical process
You also get things like secondary sex homosexuality (alpha-for-alpha gay, ditto omegas) which are basically ignored anyway unless someone’s fussing about bloodlines, and difficult cases like alpha-presenting-omega; an omega who reads like an alpha in scent and all other aspects except when they’re on heat
That’s hard to detect before the cycle actually starts and causes rampant excitement every time, but since alphas being with other alphas isn’t considered noteworthy except in high society, it’s also only a problem around the cycle
3) just like they don’t have sexual dimorphism, there’s no visible external differences between elves in secondary sex either
They’re more about magic than physical force, so you might be able to tell the difference based on their magical specialties (that’s how elves claim they do it but it’s bullshit they are lying)
This often confuses other folks who do; tallmen alphas are physically larger and more muscular (Falin’s an alpha) and omegas are smaller and slimmer, but all the elves are small and slim so tallmen often think they’re all omegas this is not helped by
4) almost all the Canaries are omegas; service is a doubly beneficial arrangement for noble families, who offer their children to show their loyalty just like canon… and to keep inconvenient extra bloodlines from cropping up if those extra omegas have kids
All of the wardens are omegas (except possibly Flamela; this is actually another reason why she’s not allowed into dangerous dungeons) and most of the prisoners are too, although occasionally alphas are allowed to serve
This is not considered a risk because while alphas are more aggressive, elves also consider them less capable leaders since they’re more likely to lose their heads and act rashly when riled up (like when Izutsumi was a kobold from the changelings and had to be stopped from fighting til she died) and just generally less capable, so an alpha convict with their magic bound isn’t considered a serious threat to a capable omega warden
Alphas also don’t necessarily fight to the death, since there’s all the posturing and fighting for position
Elf omegas, on the other hand, will tear your fucking throat out at the first sign of violence because if a fight gets to them it needs to be ended immediately to protect the babies
They have absolutely weaponized this against the demon and the dungeons by intentionally putting their omegas in combat situations
Alpha prisoners are usually only assigned to a single warden for the duration of their service, because they tend to get overprotective of their omega squad-mates and don’t handle personnel shifts well
5) The wardens get sterilized as part of their training, the prisoners are required to be on birth control for the duration of their service but can also request sterilization - birth control’s usually by magical implant so it’s not a huge inconvenience but listen if you want that ute yote it’s yoten
6) Heat cycles absolutely do sync up between themselves and with rut cycles, and the squads get mandatory downtime for a month on either side; luckily they’re elves so they’re on multi-annual cycles rather than seasonal
(Elves who find out how often short-lived omegas go into heat tend to react with shock and sympathy and an immediate “ooooh this is why you die so early”)
(More than one squad have accidentally maimed their alpha if they have a surprise heat)
How a squad handles group heat is up to them, suppressants are part of the basic gear, as are knotting toys, and there’s a whole industry of “heat hotels” where any human single omegas can go to ride out a heat safely either alone with toys or with vetted beta staff (on birth control) of their choosing - the Canaries semi-regularly take them over and occasionally incite orgies because while the heat demands a knot what elves accept as dominance is magical power, not position, so the strongest arcanist in a squad usually reads as an “alpha” to other humans despite their actual sexes
And since there’s no actual rules that omegas can’t hook up for a cycle at the heat house, so long as everyone arrives and agrees before they go into heat it’s a “the more the merrier” situation
They also sync up between different types of humans, but elves sync very slowly and have such long cycles almost no one notices
For no godly reason gnomes sync the fastest but they have relatively mild cycles and don’t seem to mind
Fuck it cycle table:
Dwarves - 6 month cycle - 1 week rut/heat
Elves - 2-3 year cycle - 2 weeks rut/heat
Gnomes - 4 month cycle - 5 days rut/heat
Half-foots(feet?) - 2 month cycle - 3 days rut/heat
Oni - 2 month cycle - 5 days rut/heat
Tall-men - 2 month cycle - 5-7 days rut/heat
7) Mithrun’s squad are extra goddamn protective of him because his cycle also got broken and doesn’t sync properly, but he deadass will not notice when he’s on heat and just continues as usual, while radiating pheromones. He also will not take suppressants any more than he’ll drink or eat
Luckily he also almost never actually goes onto heat, so he just vibes and trains while everyone else is on their heat break and occasionally gets impatient and starts bar fights
Lycion’s been a permanent squad member despite not being an alpha (he’s a beta but the werewolf gets a knot anyway sooooo he’s busy on heat breaks) because he can smell when Mithrun’s going onto heat ahead of time, way before anyone else can
Mithrun’s gone into heat twice since rejoining the Canaries. Cithis, Otta, and Fleki bitch about this constantly with varying degrees of envy, right up until the next time it happens out of the blue and they have to drag his dumb ass out of a dungeon because literally no one was prepared
Otta’s not even an omega she’s a beta too so she uses their heat breaks to flirt with half-foot women which is why she has enough time to date despite being a convict death squad member
(And yeah she’ll “help out” any half-foot lady omegas if they’re not actually already in heat when they arrive at a house the squad’s taken over and can hold a conversation first cuz while technically everyone else can still go through their heat alone and ignore the elves…
Well they’re loud, they’re expansive, Fleki is allergic to personal space, even in heat Cithis has enough top energy to dominate a city block, and Lycion only has one knot and will occasionally need to sleep - more than the heated omegas. They like sharing and there are no consequences provided the hotel has a room big enough)
Fleki will absolutely still use her familiar while she’s on heat and she will not remember to tell anyone she’s doing it, but since she basically just flies away until the next wave demands she get fucked again it’s not all that different from taking a nap from anyone else’s perspective
(Flying in heat is nowhere near as good as flying on shrooms but it does still beat reality)
(Everyone. Everyone has asked her if she’s fucked in the bird. Absolutely everyone. And she never specifies but makes absolutely filthy and biologically unlikely insinuations.
She absolutely did try it once. And since her familiar has genitals at her own discretion, and didn’t google bird genitals before hand, results were Mid)
Cithis has been denied access - or have had people attempt to deny her access anyway - to more than one heat house because absolutely no one who is not an elf believes she’s not an alpha without proof
All the elves have Elf Twink Disease so their alphas aren’t buff and macho anyway and everyone knows it, so her sheer Step On Me Please energy has gotten the whole squad into trouble
(She blatantly refuses to do anything about this and will often make the situation worse for fun or profit until Mithrun tells her to stop)
8) half elves like Marcille have the extremely exciting and unfortunate bonus of potentially being crosses in secondary sex too, just like the non-linear aging - something about the long-lived/shorter-lived magic combo and the elves’ own permutations in particular mean that other human-alpha and elf-beta/omega sometimes happen on the same gene, and other human-omega and elf-beta/alpha is also more likely than elf-alpha and other human-alpha coming together
Some half elves get lucky and get double beta, Marcille did not and got beta-omega (which is at least easier than alpha-omega, the rarest combo but hey if you’re flexible or magically inclined with that one you can kinda just go fuck yourself)
This is why she gets super over-protective of the people she cares about (see: get back in the kitchen while I take over the world), but doesn’t really have any kind of self preservation instincts or a desire not to run face first into danger and explode it
She’s never had a heat cycle and if she’s lucky she might never get one, so long as the beta side stays dominant
But Falin’s an alpha and possibly the person who activated Marcille’s omega side to get that over-protectiveness in the first place, so if (when) they do mate Marcille is gonna learn some fun and exciting things about her body
(Toshiro’s an omega, but his family insisted on raising him like an alpha anyway because Oldest Son. Falin was the one to actually tell him he was an omega, because Maizuru was ordered not to
This is part of why he’s so incredibly jealous of Laios, who is an actual alpha as well as autistic as hell, so Shuro’s not only jealous of his complete disregard for social rules, he’s also exceedingly jealous that all of the “alpha” stuff he has to work incredibly hard to fake comes to Laios completely naturally
Laios had no idea Shuro was an omega at all (possibly Nakamoto family scent blockers, possibly Laios Not Paying Attention) and has actually been idolizing Shuro as the Manliest Best Alpha To Ever Alpha - like all them flashbacks of Shuro standing between downed Laios and danger
Maybe Laios doesn’t find out until after Falin’s revived successfully. It blows his mind. Toshiro weeps in frustration.)
9) fuck it it’s official, alpha Flamela, that’s why her twin was taken (twin was an omega, elves still think alphas are too impulsive and hot headed to rule) and Flamela wasn’t stopped from running off to join the Canaries
They did try to skip the sterilizing step with her, cuz while the coal black skin definitively doesn’t reliably pass from parent to child there’s still a chance her kids would have better odds of inheriting it
Flamela lost her shit when she found out she was being treated differently from other wardens (doing other elven alphas absolutely no favours about that “too impulsive” thing because she genuinely didn’t even notice that what was happening was that she wasn’t being given invasive and permanently life altering often nonconsensual surgery) and threatened to do it to herself if they wouldn’t do her
Someone suggested they fake it, put her under, make the cut, leave everything alone so she just got a scar, someone else pointed out she might be slightly less knife happy afterwards, the smartest person in the room pointed out she would be Exceedingly Fucking Knife Happy if she ever found out and possibly kill them all
She was sterilised at her own insistence but her genetic materials (eggs and sperm why not) were stored rather than discarded in case she changes her mind
This has also alienated her from the other wardens because not only is she the only one who actually volunteered to be a Canary, she volunteered for the whole thing and genuinely doesn’t get why any of them are unhappy about it
Rut isn’t all that fun and she doesn’t think heat sounds good either, since her default position with people is distrust and keeping them at arm’s length, so she always rides hers out alone and assumes others will too - but both sound way way way better to her than having to carry or raise a child
She’s not cruel or aggressive about it but she’s about as tactful as a rhinoceros and just gets loudly confused, so it’s not worth trying to confide in her or bond over the extra level of being discarded by their families
(And since she hates gossip and will aggressively curtail it, she only finds out what anyone else on her squad does for heat if she actually has to help arrange it)
She was so offended to find out she’d still have rut cycles after surgery. The one thing absolutely every other warden can agree with her on
Most elf alphas are actually significantly more level headed and stable than Flamela, she still has her entirely independent emotional baggage but she is what all the elven stereotypes say an alpha is
There’s some real world racist bs about Black women and especially darker skinned Black women being less feminine, but it’s bullshit and fuck that it’s illegal here, alpha women are just a thing that happens and it has nothing to do with gender
Flamela’s not especially feminine either by elf standards, but that’s her decision and she is beauty, she is grace, she will stab you in the face and you’d deserve it if you commented
10) communication pixies are affected by their maker’s heat, but not by getting anything similar themselves; it’s an intentional part of the spell, the pixie gets all sleepy and “drunk” and will not connect any calls without a specific code word, because absolutely no one wanted heat-sex pixie butt dials
This isn’t just an elf thing but it is in the elf-magic version of the spell; if you make a pixie with gnome-magic instead there’s a 75% chance it will also go dozy during your heat buuuuut a 25% chance it just keeps going as normal
General consensus is that the ephemeral will of magic either can’t tell when humans go into heat or considers the occasional magic butt dial necessary to the balance of the universe
A lot of older gnomes just plain don’t care about any of it and think it’s a bit funny when anyone else makes such a big fuss, since it’s just another part of life
(If Falin ever makes a pixie you KNOW it stays active during her rut you KNOW Marcille gets a butt dial dear gods is this how the Farcille confession happens in this AU)
11) orcs and kobolds don’t actually have secondary sexes by dint of not being human (wrong number of bones) and tend to consider the whole thing a little weird, but not their problem
Some orcs suspect the whole alpha-omega thing is why humans get violently territorial for basically no reason, and the sympathetic ones tend to be very gentle with someone once they learn they’re an alpha or omega
Big “oh you poor thing that sounds so difficult, let’s make sure you don’t get over excited” energy
———
I’ll add more later if I come up with anything else, but by all means hop into my sand box and play with anything you like!
A bunch of other characters and their alignments in no particular order:
Kabru - beta, but one of his only decent spells is to fake either alpha or omega pheromones at will. He’ll play any of the roles to get what he wants and what he thinks will serve him best
(He almost always plays omega with elves because 1) they don’t respect alphas the way most other humans do and 2) they’re gonna read him as a child anyway, so having specific “adult” pheromones might occasionally sway them to respect him a little more, but they’re also more likely to subconsciously protect him
He tried alpha on Mithrun when they were alone in the dungeon for all of 15 minutes before determining Mithrun couldn’t tell the difference
(Mithrun could he just doesn’t care))
Namari - alpha, works well with usually being the party tank, but as a dwarf her instincts are more “provide for needs” than “fight off enemies” which is why she loves armour and wants other people to wear it
Senshi - omega, he’s going to see the babies fed by any means necessary (but yeah it’s part of why his mining crew didn’t let him fight the griffin, he hadn’t fully hit his second puberty but they Had Suspicions)
However, since he lived alone most of his life (and was surrounded by alphas before that) he presents almost entirely as an alpha, and unless he hits heat no non-dwarfs will ever notice he isn’t
There’s not a huge difference between dwarf alpha, beta, and omegas anyway, but the alphas tend more towards crafts and making or procuring physical items to see to their loved ones’ needs while the omegas are more focused on acts of service
(Physically they’re just all Like That, like the elves)
Every dwarf who has ever met Senshi clocked him as an alpha in the first five minutes, and clocked him equally hard as an omega ten minutes later and had some mild cognitive dissonance. None of them mention it because that’s Rude
Izutsumi - alpha cat, hates you all
Chilchuck - tallest skinniest half foot omega you ever did see. Has adopted his entire union since he doesn’t see his girls anymore. His wife was a beta and the only reason she got them in the “divorce” was the girls had already moved out
(She moved in with Puckpatti)
Chilchuck is constantly low-grade losing his shit about it
Maizuru - omega, deeply dislikes how Toshiro’s father has treated him and does genuinely believe deep down that an omega like Toshiro might be a better leader specifically because he’s more empathic and considerate than their society’s demanded alpha behaviour
She will be miffed to be told the elves agree with her though
Rin - beta, accidentally presents as an omega because she picked it up in self defence while living with the elves. She does not like it but she does tend to keep herself closed off, avoid skin contact, and comes off as trying too hard not to seem meek, so people with opinions on strangers’ sexes assume she’s an omega who escaped a bad situation
(They’re not fully wrong, she hates that they’re not)
Kaka and Kiki - Kaka’s an omega, Kiki’s a beta but she intentionally presents as an alpha to keep anyone from noticing or saying shit about her brother
If she’s loud and noticeable, they won’t wonder why he’s shyer and quiet
(Kaka 1000% imprinted on Namari the first time she saved his life she is his big strong alpha he is a helpless fucking puppy so even though he’s self conscious about his height he can’t help wanting her to like his legs
Unfortunately for him Namari’s gay as hell and Kiki’s extremely into her as well and he wants his twin to be happy so he’ll be pining forever and make do with a familial alpha bond)
(Namari will never know she coulda had her pick)
Mikbell - beta cuck and a scab
Holm - the only actual alpha on Kabru’s team, has definitely noticed him switching up the pheromones and he mostly doesn’t care, he thinks that secondary-sex-fluidity is actually a really good quality in a leader (it shows he respects all of them and acknowledges the strengths they all have)
But when it comes to his sister Nope Nope Nope buster don’t you dare seduce her with some mocked up alpha juice
His sister is also an alpha but she’s alpha-for-alpha gay and gender bisexual and he’s not having it
Daya - omega, but prefers to present as an alpha because she’s actually just not that comfortable with the stereotypical omega “role”
(Again for dwarves, it’s mostly “will do caretaking” over “will procure necessary items”, but her birth clan were heavy traditionalists who considered an omega’s primary job to be “be pregnant” so she’s tossed the whole situation)
(Her partner is an alpha and oh boy did he have to work to prove he was nothing like the boys back home. He’s fully happy to be the caretaker while she brings home the bacon and she loves him for that
Most dwarves will assume he’s the omega unless told otherwise, and they’re both very comfortable with that on the extremely rare occasion that it comes up since Island dwarves usually don’t care anyway)
Kuro - kobold, not his problem, but oh boy he’s adopted Mikbell as his puppy and is gonna do his best taking care of this man
He’s fully aware Mik’s a mature adult (despite how often he pretends to be a kid to fuck with people), he can smell his pheromones, he just believes Mikbell needs a father or at least older brother figure to guide him more than just a buddy
(He and Kabru also suspect Mik might be into non sexual (probably?) age play, since he claims he acts like a kid to fuck over assholes who assume half-foots can’t be real adults, but he does it A Lot and with joy and fervour)
(Mikbell can never learn this)
Grandpa Tansu - cranky lil alpha gnome
Granny Floke - also a lil alpha gnome, they’re also alpha-for-alpha gay, but she likes watching her husband get all loud and up in arms so she doesn’t bother getting involved much
(Full Madame Giry from the good Phantom of the Opera productions, she only has to say one word to put her foot down but she actually is a nice smiling little old lady… which makes it scarier when she does it)
Tade - alpha oni, but in oni omegas and afabs are actually much bigger so she’s still pretty small for an oni (bigger than amab alphas though)
This does tend to confuse pretty much everyone else but those little buggers come out BIG and HORNED and it’s just better all around to have more space for the lil niblets
This is why Marcille’s oni form was head and shoulders too big to be seen standing next to her party she’d’ve been around a foot and a half taller than Tade because I said so
Thistle - oh the saddest most broken lil elf omega, he was in a bad way before Delgal’s dad died and then when Delgal did the “only you can save us we’re all gonna die” Thistle reverse-pioneered the Canaries by going into omega-murder-mode so hard he dungeoned an entire kingdom
And since there was not a single alpha older than him anywhere to be found he just never got to turn that off (if only someone scruffed the little bastard idk if that’s an omegaverse thing but the imagery is peak)
Imma headcanon he never actually had a cycle by dint of not finishing elf-puberty before he went Kingdom In A Bottle and stopped aging but honestly any flavour of fuckery and whenever you think he stopped aging is all good
(Since not only was Yaad born post dungeon, he grew to young adulthood and other people did age, they just didn’t die, so aging was for sure happening for like 20 years post dive)
Winged Lion - the alpha and the omega solely for the joke
If you can think of anyone else or if you have any questions lemme know and I’ll spin something off the dome for ya! (This totally wasn’t prompted by me nearly having the first full chapter of. Something. Ready to go. 👀)
If anyone else wants to chop and screw with any bits of this for any reason go wild and all I ask is a tag in because I like free candy as much as anyone else. Despite Farcille commentary it’s technically ship agnostic because honestly that’s the least interesting part of an omegaverse AU for me I’m here to get weird with sex and gender roles and cultural variance
I haven’t actually played in this sand pit much before so we can all thank/blame Omega Jason Todd week for finally tipping my interest over by giving me new levels of fuckery, we stan a 6’ omega built like a tank
#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#omegaverse#dungeon meshi omegaverse#omega mithrun owns my ass#and not gonna lie so does alpha flamela 90% because their dynamic is already so fucked#and adding a layer of ‘mithrun could not care less about his heat but flamela will fucking die before she goes on rut on the same continent’#leading to some ‘flamela violently forcing mithrun into a hazmat suit the SECOND anyone (lycion) even HINTS he might go on heat cuz Hell No’#with a dash of mithrun’s convicts being horrible little bastards about it for fun and profit#flamela running around to a) find the heated omega who is in danger (wandered off) and b) carry him back to his nest in The Longest Tongs#just so she can’t possibly smell him and have an extra rut#is pretty much the entire first chapter of The Least Sexy Heat Fic Of All Time#but i’m having a wonderful time with it#dungeon meshi spoilers#delicious in dungeon spoilers#elves are fucked up#and it makes them more fun#omega mithrun#alpha laios#alpha falin#beta kabru who Will Never Let Anyone Know cuz he’s having too much fun faking and switching pheromones#cuz sure he could be an alpha that’s the formula for these situations but No You Don’t Get It it’s so much funnier if he isn’t#cuz he works so hard to convince himself and everyone else he’s the perfect leader#an alpha with self confidence could never#also fuck you he gets alpha-omega-genderfluid vibes because i say so#we inventing all sorts of new directions to be queer in everybody’s getting at least one
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sometimes i like to think that horror comes to dust's room late at night just to talk to phantom papyrus. no he doesn't wanna talk to dust. horror probably doesn't even CARE if dust's awake at the asscrack of dawn or rambling off to the hallucination too loudly this late at night because he just wants to talk to phantom papyrus
horror's not delusional enough to believe that phantom paps is actually real and his own papyrus like dust does but sometimes he really wants to,,,, so just for these short moments between them he wants to pretend that the hallucination is his papyrus. that he gets to talk to his own brother before everything went to shit and before he ruined his brother's life. yeah sure phantom paps kinda says some crazy stuff that horror's papyrus never would back then but so what?? dust's papyrus is the closest thing he's got and at least he doesn't have to deal with the guilt at even LOOKING at his brother's face (the sunken eyesockets,,,, the uneven teeth,,,,, yeah no) because there's nothing there. horror doesn't have to do anything but keep his back turned to dust and just talk to papyrus through him
they both keep their backs turned to eachother when they do this because neither of them can stand looking at eachother. dust especially because hearing horror sound so much like how he was before. horror sounds so lighthearted and relaxed and just,,,,, normal that it almost reminds dust of himself. maybe if he closed his eyes and tuned out his own voice he could just imagine the moment being a conversation between himself and paps back then before he had to kill him over and over. dust doesn't want to have to look back and see horror's mutilated skull and his permanently replaced eye. he doesn't want the fake scenario he's choosing to indulge in right now to be broken
and then i think they talk like that for a long time; because horror has a lot to say to paps about himself and what he regrets and dust has a lot of reminiscing to do on the good old days before he lost himself :3
#this one is a bit more SERIOUS than i expected.... no funny little triglycercule rambling today for some reason.......#i do really like this idea though. it seems like one of the only ways that horrordust would bond in a more canonical sense#no they don't fall asleep in bed with eachother after this. in fact horror doesn't even say BYE when he leaves#they just move on with their lives afterwards and pretend none of it happened#and when they need it most then they can drop their guards ever so slightly at 2:30 in the morning through a fake middleman#horror doesn't like being this vulnerable around dust but he knows DAMN well the other won't tell#dust has no reason to say a thing about their midnight chats. maybe he just doesn't like being vulnerable at all#and it's true that dust wouldnt tell anyone because tbh he gets to ask horror things he'd ask himself#maybe he'd lie a bit here and there about what paps said so he can ask something like do you regret it after all this time#just to see if horror feels the same way that he does even though they have different circumstances#to see if the most sans-like in his eyes of the 2(3) of them can understand what he feels and understands how it feels#horror regrets it too but he's here and he did what he did. dust almost likes that he has someone to relate to him tbh#sometimes he needs to be reminded that he should regret everything he did especially when he feels manic or just apathetic#he probably needs the reality check and if horror isn't the most grounded out of the 3 i dont know WHO is (low bar but he is arguably is)#ok time to turn this into the mtt! killer SO bashes them for these little midnight rendezvous#makes SO many remarks about how theyre really pathetic for practically roleplaying a conversation between sans and papyrus#SO many jokes about what the two probably get up to in there. so many jokes about how this is some weird kink probably#but in the end despite all the shit talking killer's never been part of one of these conversations#in fact he doesn't even go NEAR dust's room late at night due to this#he just cant he doesn't want to. because if he hears horror's voice being so lighthearted and joking#and dust saying words that sound so similar to what papyrus would say (maybe he's even imitating his voice)#it would upset him a LOT. or maybe not? either way killer avoids that area like the plague when horrordust chat#maybe he'd sit down by the outside of the door when he's FEELING. killer won't let himself believe in the delusion dust and horror have mad#but he can't stay for too long because then dust and horror start talking about regrets and their wrongdoings and now he can't listen any#but either way i trio-fied it and that's all that matters!!! this might actually be one of my FAVORITE ideas i've ever cone up with :333#killer sans#horror sans#dust sans#murder time trio#tricule hc
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just a gentle reminder that THIS is how big the spines around blamore's neck are whenever he doesn't shrink them... so, it's pretty much a surefire way for it to keep other people away from him, NGL ☠️ (unless you are trying to get poked in the eye JSJSJ / j i'm kidding, i'm kidding (,: but blamore really does have several natural defenses against any 'aggressors,' i guess you could say, and it's spines REALLY add to it's uncannyness whenever they're at full - length ).
#IT WAS PROBABLY NOTHING BUT IT FELT LIKE THE WORLD: musings.#yeah... i have yet to talk about the spines around blamore's neck so i thought ' why not do that today? ' BUT -#i just wanted to let you all know that unless i specify otherwise in an rp then blamore has shrunk the size of them BC although he cannot-#make them go away it can at least make them a littleee more manageable to walk around with (': because i can imagine that they'd -#probably get caught on a lot of thing's if they were at full length all the time LOL but as i was saying here if blamore stretches them to-#their normal size then you should DEFINITELY assume that blamore sees you as a threat because they both serve a psychologically -#defensive purpose as well as a physically defensive one because i mean. I can probably imagine that some people might back down-#if they see them springing out of his neck all of a sudden like THAT but for those who still want to fight him? well then they could kind o#serve as a guard to his neck / head from being injured or cut off though there is a vulnerable spot between the bones of it but SHHH#i didn't tell y'all that / j LMAO i'm just joking again but yesss. they are VERY pointy and feel strong if you were granted permission to-#touch them by blamore + it is a little more lenient of letting people touching it's spines around his neck compared to his spine#so perhaps that could happen to y'all oc. who knows... 👀#tw: bones.#MAN IS BOUND TO LIE ABOUT HIMSELF: headcanons.
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I want to befriend Kaneki and meet with him and email him forever
#we should do everything together everything should be parallel play#and then when we go our separate ways at the end of the day I want to still email him things#like pictures of succulents and a glimpse under the amazon river#I want to email him pbs eons videos#I can show him coffee shop vlogs and ask “is this u”#in person I’d mostly let him do the talking and decide what to do#take me down the most intimidating alley on a whim after you said we were just buying lunch pls#I want to eat lunch with him so bad 😭😭😭🙏#it’d be kind of awkward though bc he wouldn’t be eating anything he’d just be sipping his coffee#being with Kaneki is the ultimate dream I wanna see his morning irritation I want to be pleasantly startled by him with his quiet footsteps#& get to ask him about what he’s reading#or how his training is going#or whatever he’s doing#I would ask him how he’d rate vacuuming out of 10 and if he gives it below a 5 will vacuum his house#I feel like he’d lie though and say he likes doing every kind of work just to stop others from doing it#unless he wasn’t in a state where he’s able to actively think about others like that#he should stop doing things and jsut relax imagine taking him on a nice tour trip up mount Fuji that would b nice#stay in a cabin make a snowman clap for him when he skis#he was so good at skiing in the TG calendar?!?? who taught him to ski#did he read “idiots guide to skiing” a day before and absorb all the knowledge like a sponge#he’s so smart. I wish I was smart. or at least smart in an applicable way#I want to try harder but I kind of can’t#or I get sort of frozen by something and can’t find a way forward unless I scurry around it (no one wants u to do this)#I love Kaneki he’s both literally and kind of metaphorically half human and I am too so if we combine we’ll have the power of one full human#we can be human if we stand close enough together#idk he might not want to stand next to me tho he has better options#kaneki time
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Haters call eleven straight Doctor because he’s attracted to older women, when his type is clearly just morally questionable people who look middle-aged (he calls Churchill “dear,” don’t forget. he never calls Amy or Clara that. Churchill is in the same category as River and the TARDIS).
#haters like it when ten makes fun of Jackie’s age and says she’s rose aged 50 years (like she's not closer in age to DT than Billie) :|#eleven has the least moral backbone of any nuwho doctor I cant lie. I mean he fucked Winston Churchill!!!#eleventh doctor#words by seaweed#dw negativity#this isnt negativity abt anyone specific im just posting this because its true and also Ive seen rising eleven hate this past month so like#also im not saying every person who ever called eleven straight hates older women- some ppl just have a headcanon and that’s okay :) :) :)#but well. all them who say 11's the “ONLY” straight doctor in order to slander (esp them comparing to some fuckboy doctors I might name)-#their misogyny+ageism is showing. and it is really. really. :|#(not that any doctor is textually straight. im just sayin)#eleven's NOT straight. he's just horrny for his wife. <3#bi4bi icons! eleven w the android boyfriend <3 river w the second wife <3 eleven w the Rory kissing <3 both w more non-straight stuff in EU#tho river's bisexuality bein more referenced in the fandom- well I get that. river is perfect <3#but back to eleven- lets be real- we all heard the way he said to the hide creature “big boy” damn#river song#tasha lem#winston churchill#who thinks he bagged Nixon too even after expressing disapproval#that one creature from hide#that one sexy fish in vampires of venice#idris#not that idris was middle aged! but she was a good chunk of years older than matt smith
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which subtle way of saying 'i love you' are you?
doing things for them without being asked to.
you're observant and you know your loved ones so well, you know when to do things for them without having to ask (or be asked) what they need. they don't always know how much you do for them; there's no need pointing it out, you're just happy to help.
you do things simply to make others feel better and lighten their burdens, and expect nothing in return: their happiness is enough for you, even if they don't always know you're the one who caused it. still, as good as it might feel to give and give and keep on giving, please allow them to do things for you in return.
people feel better when they're being helpful (you should know this, more than anyone) and no matter how hard it might feel for you to accept help from someone, you should take it when they readily give it to you. you deserve to be loved in the way you love them, too. you won't be a burden -- and remember: a real friend will love you even when you're not constantly being useful, because your company is more than enough.
stolen from: @raisedcold (thank you for introducing me to this <33)
tagging: @question-marked, @twcfaces, @adamanteine, @markhit, and anyone else who might like to complete this quiz!
#OF MONSTERS AND MEN: musings.#ooc post.#rp memes.#oh... oh so i see uquiz is still breaking hearts to this day huh JSJSJ 😭 nooo but the parts where it said 'no matter how hard it might feel#to accept help from someone you should take it' & 'their happiness is enough for you even if they don't always know you're the one who#caused it' are just. They're SO true in relation to barton because let me tell y'all i'm not trying to claim that he is a good person and#will never do so because that would just be a lie but i feel as if there are times where barton actually does show some humanity + does#things for people that he doesn't have to especially for people like his family or those he cares about in general buttt...#he doesn't like to accept help from other's so it's like GAHHH just stop doing this to yourself man and let other people care about you#in return even though this man feels this need for punishment sometimes in regards to the bad thing's he's done which. yeah there is a#lengthy list of but he loved marceline & he triesss to love his kids but god damn is this guy REALLY not good at it sometimes#either unintentionally or intentionally but yeah. he does try whenever he can so although that doesn't excuse his behavior...#that does say something about him
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I just wanted to say as someone who has stumbled across your blog and has read your Wednesday wips and posts about anything topgun related that your thought process and consideration of mav and ice, specifically their political beliefs and relationships with their own identities, is honestly so impressive and cool. You have brought such realism and life to these characters which is just so refreshing to see. idk i just wanted to express how cool and awesome i think that is
Because of the thought into these characters does it make it difficult to like them or understand them if you have differing opinions from them? for me personally i feel like if i were to ever actually have a convo with ice or mav regarding identity politics i would actually start to lose my mind (like how one feels when your dad or fun uncle talks for too long at thanksgiving dinner). If it does make them difficult to like, does that make it difficult for you to write them sometimes?
oh yeah! i think, my ice i really empathize with & really love & really could get along with, once he grows out of the sexism of his teens & twenties, but my maverick drives me crazy. someone sent in an ask a while ago that was like “WHY is cyclone simpson your one true love??” And it’s because i too would absolutely hate maverick & hate working with him lol. people who are overly cocky & un-self-aware & a bit self-centered make me CRAZY. (narrator voice: compacflt is a hypocrite as all these things also apply to compacflt.)
Politically… It’s difficult to say. no one really wants to hear the intricacies of one person’s political journey, which is why i won’t give you mine, but suffice to say—since the start of the russian invasion of Ukraine, and my semi-concerted effort to learn more about the political landscape of modern warfare, my own personal beliefs have shifted a whole bunch. definitely aided in that shift by my top gun fic project that specifically aims to understand the conservative straight-passing male mindset as it relates to military matters… there are many end goals to a project like mine, but one end product is a filter you can take away and hold up in front of your eyes and see the world through it. When writing from the eyes of a conservative straight (passing) white man, your priorities totally shift. I had to write from the perspective of someone who doesn’t care about identity politics. Because they don’t! A core tenet of conservatism is very proudly not caring about that stuff, and being very annoyed when people (usually left-of-centers) make that stuff very visible and want you to care about it! “Don’t shove it in my face,” etc., etc. Don’t force me to care about this taboo, private thing I really don’t care about. It violates my freedoms, or whatever, to be forced to care—or even bear witness to—stuff that i don’t care about. Etc. And then, to be nominally a part of that community that you really, really don’t care about, and then to be told that you have to care about it because of your publicity… people asking you to be proud of something that has had a negative connotation for much of your entire life… that’s not a transformation that happens easily.
Jesus, I could write an essay about this. I have, several times by now in responses to asks over my blog. But there is so much that I could talk about. I think… I really worry that some of my writing falls into the first of the below categories:
I really try not to romanticize conservatism in my writing—I tried to show that ice and mav’s happiness is the price they pay for their conservatism. They’re actively choosing to be unhappy—but because they prioritize their honor over everything, due to EXTERNAL PRESSURES they cannot control, and which I think are often ignored in the fandom space for one reason or another. The fact of the matter is, in 99% of IPs, characters prioritize something other than their sexualities. It’s never Maverick’s personal identity that is at stake in either Top Gun or Top Gun: Maverick, because he has built himself so impermeably masculine that there are no grounds upon which to question his personal identity. He just isn’t thinking about it. He’s thinking about how to get into Charlie’s pants, how to win the Top Gun trophy, how to uphold his promise to Goose, et cetera. If he’s fucking guys on the side, it’s because he wants to and because hes maverick and he does what he wants without thinking about it—that’s the whole point of his character, from a story-construction standpoint. That’s his archetype. He’s a renegade maverick superstar who is both thoughtlessly brilliant and thoughtlessly dangerous. He’s thoughtless. His priorities are to survive and to look cool doing it, and that’s it. He is a savant in the Naval Air Force, where honor is your lifeblood, who feels he has been dishonored by his own family name, and who willingly joined the conservative post-Vietnam Navy right when/after Ronald Reagan was elected President, and who wears cowboy boots and who disrespects women to their faces, and who is eager to get into altercations with Soviet-Chinese-DPRK-X-second-world-country-coded-but-EXPLICITLY-Soviet-manufactured-Mikoyan-Gurevich-MiG-28s(-F-5s-painted-black)… I’m sorry. In my opinion, the conservatism is baked into him as a character. I find it extremely difficult to separate him from his conservatism, because in some ways his patriotic conservatism is his raison d’etre. IMO if you take that away from him, he ceases to exist.
Same thing with Ice and his unwillingness to openly rebel or go against the grain. That is his whole reason to exist in the story at all. I know that I’m saying this in a fandom space where the whole point is to change characters & put them in different situations (fanfic) but… in kind of a perverse self aware way, as in I know I sound ridiculous and pretentious, i guess i don’t really understand an impulse to change the core tenets of a character irreparably in fanworks. We are shown that ice always goes by the books in TG. Then we are shown that he achieves the fruits of that labor (four stars) in TGM. So he is rewarded for never rebelling, whereas Maverick, who always rebels (but NEVER in a way that challenges his personal identity), has stagnated in the ranks at full-bird O-6. And that’s Ice’s character. That’s what he’s there for in the story—he’s a tool to show us the value system of rank and prestige you earn by following the rules of the Navy. Why take that away from him? That’s his priority! Canonically, that’s his priority and reason for existence! And historically the way to achieve that priority is through conservatism.
And you ask me if it’s hard to like my ice and mav. Yes, but that’s not my choice. The movie already did that for me. They are not, I’m sorry, likable people. I am not a straight white conservative male writing about straight white conservative men to validate my own beliefs—I’m a queer AFAB person of color writing about straight white conservative men because I want to understand the limits of their conservatism. What they do and do not care about, and what it takes to make them care. And from what we are shown in TG… ice and mav would not care about ME. At all. And they would not want to be forced to care about me. Ice’s casual careless dismissiveness… “the plaque for the alternates is down in the ladies’ room…” mav following Charlie into the bathroom… turning the key in the ignition and driving away while pretending not to hear her… “what?? i can’t hear you! 🙉” … they do not care. They have no desire to care.
Again. Maybe I subscribe to a very very old-school and labored and pretentious ideology when it comes to writing… I know a lot of people write just to have fun. I do not. I wish i could, but I don’t. And when you’re not writing to have fun, you don’t have to like the characters you’re writing about. They’re nothing more than tools at your disposal to get your point across more effectively. No, I don’t like them! Of course not! My ice is cruel and cowardly and careless and hypocritical and subservient and weak, and my mav is demanding and dangerous and dismissive and oblivious and so, so, so unbelievably bitter.
And that’s what my story needed, to get my point across. So, shrug. My point was my priority. I don’t care too much about the characters themselves.
Re: icemav & identity politics. Part of hopefully selling this story is the attempt at empathy for the conservative male, to bring this discussion back to the top. Why write fiction at all if you’re not going to write about people different from you, and why write about people different from you if you don’t want to understand them? So… part of trying to understand them was to understand and have empathy for this shift in priorities. Conservative guys do not want to care about labels, or sexual orientations, or, God forbid, discussion of their gender identities. I can kind of see Ice tolerating it by the end… but, there are limits. Again, it’s supposed to be private. I think he’d chafe against getting labeled gay—he wouldn’t want to be called the first gay compacflt, or SECNAV, etc. He can’t say, “i slept with like a hundred fifty women before I even MET the ONLY man ive ever slept with,” because that’s like intensely private personal information!! No one deserves that information, but people still want to call him gay, even though in his head he really is not!!!! Again—from the conservative perspective, it’s a public imposition of left-wing, overly sexualized, too-neat labels and politics onto an area of life that has typically been kept private and respectable—I don’t agree with the conservatism, but I can at least empathize with it. Pre-Maverick’s death (pre-coming to terms with it), it would’ve been shameful & embarrassing to him; but even after coming to terms with it, it’s still not something he “takes pride” in. I think he thinks of it like this—most people aren’t proud of being straight. Like, it’s weird if you are. Same thing with being proud of being white, etc. Why be excessively proud of things you have no control over? Why not take pride in your ACTIONS—for instance, his career that he has actively sacrificed so much of his pride for? I can really empathize with that thought. I don’t necessarily agree, but I get it, especially in his professional circumstances, where he has so much to be professionally proud of, and yet people keep wanting him to publicly care about this private part of him he has no control over and can’t change.
Maverick though. I think he’d be actively hostile about talking about it in public. He Does Not Care. he does not want to care. It’s all an insult. They call him the first openly gay Ace cause he’s married to another man— “okay, but, like, I’m not. Stop calling me that. Neither of us are. Oh my god we have slept with so many women. Stop calling us that.” Ok then what do you want us, the press corps, to call you? First openly bisexual Ace? “No that’s worse!! That’s a word some teenager made up and doesn’t mean anything!! I’m sixty years old stop asking me to talk about this stuff im too old.” What do you have to say to LGBT kids who want to go into the navy? “😎👍 there’s a place for you etc etc. Let’s go back to talking about all the planes I shot down.” Maverick does what he wants without thinking about it. That’s the core tenet of his character. Very conservative. Don’t ask him to care too much.
Idk. No I don’t like them. But I understand them, if that makes sense. Like their conservative anti-label logic does make emotional sense to me. So that’s part of what I took away from this project, for better or worse… probably worse: I understand why conservatives don’t like the modern over-publicity of sexuality. They don’t care and they don’t want to care. And because they are small-C conservative, my ice and mav still don’t care lol. So, yeah. It doesn’t make them hard to write, because thats why I wanted to write them in the first place.
#what does it say about me that i put myself in their shoes & understand their position#i don’t agree with it but I understand it#the annoyance and the bad optics and the over labeling of hard-to-label sexuality#being a gay republican has got to be the seventh circle of hell#note my ice and mav are not republicans#but also note my story would not change even one bit if they were#i don’t LIKE gay republicans because they’re republicans. but i can empathize with them cause that’s gotta fucking blow.#normie median biden voter ice#now I think if a kid came up to maverick at an airshow and was like…#sir im trans and I think I want to go into the navy to fly & you’re my hero…#he’d freak out like ‘omg that means so much to me actually thanks!! it might be difficult for u i won’t lie but we need more people who#can overcome adversity…omg let me set you up with this admiral i know… yes yes yes…’#he doesn’t like the conceptual discussions but he likes the people if that makes sense#& he really likes people massaging his ego#i find them incredibly annoying. but that’s what character development is for. if u start out liking ur characters ur doing smth wrong#& if they weren’t incredibly annoying then i wouldn’t have a story to write.#pete maverick mitchell#tom iceman kazansky#icemav#top gun#top gun maverick#asks#edts notes#**obvious disclaimer this is just my interpretation!!!**
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Sorry Darlings, no prompts today. We had really bad wind here last night, and the power has been going in and out ever since. Thankfully they are already checking the lines to figure out where the fault is, but for now there’s nothing I can really do but try and preserve as much battery as possible.
Please bear with me Darling ones, and make sure you’re taking care of yourselves 🖤
#mod speaks#this is driving me a little mad not gonna lie. I only just managed to afford proper groceries too#and if things keep going the way they are. They might not remain safe to eat for much longer. Especially since I still haven't managed to#buy a new freezer. Either way I'm not handling it as well as I should be I'm sorry to say#I'm doing my best not to let my frustration and anxiety leak over into this blog. Just... be patient with me please
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no, I am no longer funny, 'cause I miss the way you laugh.
before paige krasikeva, there is marin deaton, always on the cusp of laughing in derek's face or kissing him. when the times comes to choose one, she does neither; she turns away. none of the insults she'd teased him with had ever stung as badly as her soft smile and apologetic eyes. after paige, derek can almost deal with them both, as long as they're coming from marin again. can almost be comforted by them, until she walks away again. after kate argent, he and laura leave town long before he could've found out what marin would've done next.
a few months after derek comes back to beacon hills, marin shows up. morrell, now, but not through marriage. or, at least, not a marriage that lasted. she avoids the question in a way that's familiar and foreign all at once. when she intercepts him at the bank, months later, comfortable in the alphas' den, derek realizes just how much has changed. but not everything is different: derek leaves town again, and when he comes back, she finds him again. tells him about poison for the nogitsune in the body of the teen boy she'd been a guidance counselor to. though she clearly doesn't take joy in it, he doesn't think she's sorry for much anymore... but her eyes still look it. and her smile is still soft.
#twedit#derek x marin#marin x derek#twrarepair#derek x morrell#starring lexi underwood as young marin!#and then for my tags#marin morrell#derek hale#tw#ANYWAY. LETS HEAR IT FOR THE SPARES TO ALAN AND LAURAS HEIRS#and while derek doesnt know what alan is to the hales i like to think that marin does. assuming its a family heritage thing#so ultimately when derek makes a move marin backs down bc she might have been young then but she's never been naive#he would have to lie about his family and she would have to lie about hers and they'd never know the full truth of who the other is#and thats the best case scenario. btw. every outcome where they talk about it is worse. and then yk. paige horrors.#and so marinstarts circling around again and she doesnt mean to talk to him again but ofc he talks ot her again. confronts her.#and she says smth vague and cryptic and walks away again and then. you know. kate. the hale fire#and then years and years of change. marin morrell is different than marin deaton except for when shes nto#still alans baby sister. needing help with the pack she'd taken on#still biting off more than she can chew and still preferring to choke on it than spit it out#so. you know. of course derek stops in the guidance counselors office during his Menacing High Schoolers time when he hears who it is#and of course marin warns him at the bank. and of course this is received just as well as any other help she'd ever half-offered.#telling him how to play his hand while keeping her own hidden. so ofc she shows up at the loft when he's leaving and ofc he still leaves#but this time marin stays in time and this time she's still there when he gets back and when the nogitsune comes they both want it to lose#and they both keep the balance in their own ways. derek turning teenagers and marin turning a blind eye to human sacrifices#both in the name of harm reduction. but only marin acknowledges and accepts her role and what comes from it#so marins the only one willing to face what it might mean for the nogitsune to lose. gives stiles a chance but lets him know what she'll do#and when allison sends chris and derek to eichen in 321 she tells derek abt the lethal injection too<3 its happens off screen dw abt it<3#and later derek will think abt what she told him until it turns into thinking abt her telling him anything until it turns into just abt her#ANYWAY. canon to ME. btw.
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re: my last post, but I kind of have a good serving of criticism in my heart about the whole "gerudos as men r*pists*" trope that I've seen bouncing around in fandom since like 2008 at least (and before that I assume), but it's. not a particularly fun topic. so.
#thoughts#cw rape#gerudos#let's just say that#if we do need to go there#(and we Do Not need to go there particularly)#let's say this whole debacle ignores *a lot* of canon content that suggests where the power balance may actually lie#if it does lie anywhere#also the sexually aggressive/domineering brown people trope as another tool of dehumanization is not. yea#but idk I think it's an interesting takeaway to cultivate in the context of the overwhelming examples of#*hylians* being the ones to repeatedly overstep gerudo boundaries#gerudos don't capture men *men try to break in gerudo homes and get arrested* that's a pretty significant difference you guys#if gerudos were so aggressive about it wouldn't men rather be the ones to run away?#why are we keeping them out in the first place etc#anyway weird trope supported by almost nothing and often enabling VERY unhinged racist comments from its fanbase on the regular#can we talk about how the brown race is uncritically characterized as rapists --either ganondorf or his people#in spite of there being basically zero evidence anywhere in the games that this might be the case??? why is this an assumption we're making#idk man people be having weird hangups about all of this#also yeah sure the strong independant women has *got* to be man eaters that treat them like disposable garbage#and like#my dear Men of the Internet#maybe try to fix your anxieties surrounding women being self-sufficient and independant instead of projecting like crazy idk something#sorry the post is Unfun but it's been bothering me since forever#I remember being thirteen and reading a fic with this trope for the first time and being So Scandalized haha#but yeah I've been chewing on the thought ever since so here you go
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