#their misogyny+ageism is showing. and it is really. really. :|

[my-mt-heart]

Putting the "ew" in EW

There are a lot of things wrong with the article, but let's start with the glaringly obvious...

Instead of letting Daryl's and Carol's connection speak for itself and letting fans get excited to see the connection as they've understood it for over a decade, Dalton Ross tries to project his own POV onto us, overemphasizing a platonic friendship as if it's the only right answer and ignoring the core of Caryl's fanbase, who are well within reason to want payoff to a romantic love story between Caryl that was earned time and time again in the flagship show. If his goal was to define the relationship for us once and for all, he completely fails. All he's really doing is exposing himself as yet another deeply insecure and toxic middle-aged white man who can't fathom a middle-aged woman with gray hair as a romantic partner for the middle-aged male protagonist. It's ignorant at best and at worst, it's aiding an effort to hurt Melissa's viewership (worth noting that Dalton Ross is one of Gimple's connections). But sadly, his spin is not even the worst problem...

This has to be one of the most ridiculous exchanges between a showrunner and a lead actor that I've ever read, but to cut to the chase, if the former is so disconnected from Daryl that he doesn't know the first thing about how this character forms attachments with others or why it takes him so long and what that says about his relationship with Carol, he shouldn't be the showrunner. That's been clear since S1 and in every interview he does, so at this point, AMC is shooting themselves in the foot the longer they keep him on or even just let him open his mouth.

In case I haven't made myself perfectly clear a million times, I am here for the Daryl I connected with when he became the most loyal and loving man to Carol and his family in the flagship show. I am here for The Book of Carol because I want to watch Carol rise above her trauma as she's risen above so many challenges in her life and I want to watch her finally claim a love she didn't think she was worthy of before, which is true love/romantic love/soulmate love with Daryl (look, I can overemphasize too). I want to watch Melissa McBride, who has also had to rise above so many challenges as a woman in the industry, give one powerful performance after another after another. I want her to get all the praise from fans and critics that she deserves and I want her to have more creative control since she's the one who really knows how to do Carol's story justice. Imagine if all we had to analyze was her own words...

I am so fucking tired of other EPs trying to turn the beautiful things she has to say and the beautiful things she brings to her show into a footnote because they always have to be so overt in their misogyny, ageism, arrogance, and stupidity first. I am fucking tired of feeling unwelcome to a show being marketed as #TWDCARYL when I am both a Carol and a Daryl fan who also ships them together. The perpetual mess doesn't speak to Melissa's value or to her fans' priorities. I will continue to direct my blame at the other EPs, and I need AMC to start doing the same. Stop giving David Zabel, Greg Nicotero, and Scott Gimple a platform. Stop giving into their need to promote themselves. Stop losing viewers over them. Let's get a showrunner who understands Carol's and Daryl's characters as well as their relationship, and here's a new idea, let's get journalists/reviewers who don't try to shove their own insecurities down our throats to cover the aspects of the show that we actually connect with. Believe it or not, those of us who are loudly complaining do want to be here.

[seaweedstarshine]

Haters call eleven straight Doctor because he’s attracted to older women, when his type is clearly just morally questionable people who look middle-aged (he calls Churchill “dear,” don’t forget. he never calls Amy or Clara that. Churchill is in the same category as River and the TARDIS).

[ungroomedcat]

Whenever people called me 'young lady' at work it used to always feel so demeaning. Say, for example, in my first job fresh out of college I was put in charge of a large project that I had to present at the end of the year to a bunch of white old men. I received plenty of compliments. But not without the blood boiling, "-for such a young lady" appended at the end.

"She did an amazing job for such a young lady."

"Great job young lady."

Young lady this. Young lady that. Hated that shit. It's died down some now after nearly a decade of it. And today, for the first time, I didn't take offense. Maybe it's because I've become more comfortable and confident in my own skin, not feeling like I have something to prove all the time.

It's interesting how much your perspective changes as you age. I was referred to as "that youngster" today ("what's that youngster saying over there?") and while I'm certain I would have seethed inside not even five years ago, today I found it humorous. Humbling even. Because this was said by a 60+ yo man, and in his eyes, I really am just a young little buck. And that's fine. I am just a young little buck. Even at 30. Especially at 22 when I thought being called a young lady was the most degrading thing in the world.

[stuck-writing-sickos]

In Poor Taste [P5]

(Yandere × F! Reader)

[Warning: addiction, alcohol, ageism, sexism, misogyny, mention of bodily harm, religious trauma]

[A/N: its high time we show yuki some love 🫶]

[Series Link]

You were never crazy about spoiled rich men. They couldn't stand being unremarkable.

"Bless me, father, for I have sinned."

Silence. The stuffy wood walls felt as if it was contracting.

"It's been five years since my last confession, and I accuse myself of the following sin."

No answer yet as per customary. Lukas tugged at his tight collar, anxious. His blunt fingernails reached inside the gap, letting a puff of air hit his chest dripping with sweat.

"I am lost, father."

"And why did you say that?"

"I have nothing special about me. I never really had to try hard to get what I want, and now... I don't know which path to take."

"You walk with God, my child."

Something within his chest inflated, leaving him gasping for air.

"Is that all there is, Father?"

"We are all nothing without Him. He will show you the way."

Lukas wanted to get out of the booth, but he couldn't. His body was frozen in place. Panic set in as he tried to squirm only to find his strength redundant.

"I don't see it, Father!", he tried to scream, but his voice came out weak, "I don't see it... I need to forge my own."

"And how do you plan to do that, when you are unspecial and lost?"

The priest's voice wasn't singular anymore. It dissolved into a chorus of many, thunderous and firm. Lukas heaved, choking on the taste of pennies. He felt a weight from the other side pressing against the confession window, closing the walls in.

The curtain cracked open. Lukas could only look as a hand reached in and grabbed his collar, harshly yanking him forward as if he was a ragdoll. His body was then unbound, light and fluid like water.

He gasped, his eyes fluttering open. Lukas felt the cold sweat on his neck. Between dream and reality, he almost remembered the bruised knuckle and the familiar fingers that pulled him awake.

___

Yuki figured the newbie was a quick learner, but he didn't think Lukas would pick up on your introversion that quickly.

It was ironic that this newcomer was already half of the foreign staff present in the end-of-year dinner that the foreign dept threw. The other half was you. Together you and him sat, tall and quiet. The cozy private restaurant lounge was bustling with chatters, but not one peep from this pair. Far off from the other side of the long table, Yuki could only steal glances at you who only nodded and smiled at any attempts at conversations that went your way. He was worried that Lukas might try something weird tonight what with alcohol so readily available, but so far he had seen nothing but a rather impressive effort at maintaining social norms. He assumed that ought to clear his mind, yet any time he found himself letting his guard down, he was sorely reminded of the punk rock clothing site. Some parts of him were starting to manifest doubt - was he the weird one for fixating? Was it some... American norms he failed to consider? After all, Australian culture could very well be less intense than its riveting cousin. Deciding at last that he was overthinking, he tried to keep up with the conversations around him.

If something bad were to happen, you'd say something, right?

"Say, Sakamoto", he jumped at Tahara's voice, surprised to see she had her attention on him now, "are you ever gonna get married?"

Instantly, eyes were on him. Yuki shifted, laughing nervously.

"Yeah", another voice chimed in, "You're 26, you're earning good money, you got your family's name. Women must be flocking to you."

That voice would be Hanao, quite possibly his least favorite senior. 33, begrudgingly married and completely removed from the concept of boundaries, he could only get worse with a pint in his hand.

"I have some unmarried cousins who would look great on you", Tahara piled onto the mess she herself caused, "Do you want a blind date with her?"

"Or look around the dept", Hanao exclaimed, his ugly habit of getting loud when he got drunk seeping in, "so many young, beautiful ladies are lining up for you!"

Yuki couldn't help but notice the discomfort on the faces of the "ladies" in question, their gaze downcasted or unsubtly turned away.

"Hanao, that's not fair to them", Yuki finally interfered, treading carefully so as not to trigger another terrible habit Hanao got up his sleeves when alcohol got into his system - getting angry, "they are not lining up for me, I'm sure."

"Nonsense", the older man dismissed, waving him off. Yuki's back felt cold as Hanao fully turned to his younger female colleagues who had gotten stiff and awkward, walled in by the long table and the crowd of coworker.

"Wouldn't you ladies want him? He's a bit dull and quiet, but he's a good kid. He is handsome, and his wallet is thick, too. I'm telling you, if you want a chance you better be quick."

The young women politely tried to move on from the topic, but it only fueled his insistence. Stressed out that Hanao was stuck on talking about marriage, Yuki finished his drink painstakingly fast. Hazy now, he landed the pint harshly.

"Excuse me... I should go for a smoke."

"Hey, what's the rush? Are you embarrassed?", Hanao asked, "It's okay Sakamoto, men only get finer with age! Sit down, I think Ms. Sasaki is interested, right?"

Yuki was already standing up with a cigarette in his mouth by the time Sasaki meekly protested. Something about "Mr. Hanao, you're so mean. He will hate me now!"

He looked at the girl. Yuki barely remembered any interaction they had with each other. Did they ever even talk? She was smiley, cheerful, and she had a sweet voice, but he didn't find anything reeling him in. In fact, the expectant look on her face as she tried to make eye contacts made Yuki queazy. Nervous and tense, he excused himself without even acknowledging her presence.

Sometimes, the body remembers things the mind tries to forget.

The smell of food followed him outside. Yuki hurried to a street corner, anxious for that first hit of nicotine to cool his head. Tipsy and disoriented, he was fumbling with the lighter when he saw you. He must had missed you slipping out of the party when Tahara and Hanao cornered him with their tedious talk of marriage. You were on your phone. Your thumbs were still hovering over the bright screen when you. Clearing his throat to make his presence know, Yuki was startled by the blank stare you gave his way.

"Everything okay?", he asked and walked over to stand by your side. Your eyes didn't follow his movement. You looked straight ahead, your face drained of any expression.

"Yes", you tried to sound casual, but your voice were light as air, "everything is fine."

He finally managed to light his cigarette. The first pull was long and crisp. His flexed shoulders dropped as he leaned against the wall and sigh, satisfied. From the corner of his eyes, he could see you tapping on your phone, your fingers typing up a storm. Something was wrong, he could tell, but he didn't want to push. Beside, he was just drunk enought to feel content keeping your company in silence.

It was by the second cigarette that you peeped: "can I have one, Sakamoto?"

That messed with his buzz. Propping himself upright, he turned over to face you.

"No."

You didn't respond. Instead, you stared at him with desperate eyes and quivering lips. Yuki watched your fingers curling up and flexing. A twinge in his chest made him drop the stern tone.

"What happened?"

You hung your head. Your quiet, exasperated voice was almost swallowed by the city's white noise: "please..."

He sighed and fished out one, seeing that it was no use persuading you. His hand hesitated as yours reached over, starved.

"You've quitted for 3 years. You were doing good."

You didn't say anything.

"Are you sure?" He asked for the last time, and the ache in his chest tugged again as he saw you nodding. He handed over the stick and watched helplessly as you stuck it between your teeth. As a last ditch effort, he tossed his lighter into the nearby dumpster.

"I'm sorry", he sighed and took another drag, puffing smoke out his nose, "you can call me a hypocrite, I deserve it. But I just can't-

He was cut off by your cool skin grazing his own as you took his cigarette right out of his mouth. Gently, you placed the burning end onto your unlit one and pulled until you've successfully kindled.

"I'm sorry", you choked, handing back what you'd stolen. He took it, slow and bewildered.

"It's okay. I'm worried, though. Did Lukas do something weird? You know you can tell me."

Your shoulders closed in. You couldn't look him in the eyes.

"No, not Lukas."

__

Lukas didn't like the hot, crawling excitement his body manifested when you were near. He couldn't focus. After the concert, he didn't want to face you. He tried to tell himself many things: you weren't any hotter than the girls he had back in college, you were too independent, you didn't bother to act feminine,... Didn't matter. You had something else that he wanted.

That was why no matter how tedious and stressful the dinner party was for him, someone who didn't know a lick of Japanese, he would rather sit in silence than to talk to you. You were quiet next to him, as if lost in thought. The entire day, he had noticed you spacing out and getting distracted. It was out of the ordinary for someone as put-together as you to keep saying "I'm sorry, I must have forgotten". The final straw was when you blankly sipped on your drink only to spill on your skirt. You didn't even react, only sighing and wiping it off with the tissue he handed over.

"Excuse me", your voice was monotone, "I'm going to the bathroom."

He didn't know who that was directed at. Only him, he assumed, since everyone else were lost in their own coversation. Seeing that your beer had splashed on the floor near where you sat, he reached over to wipe it off. His hand was nearby the phone you had forgotten when it buzzed, its screen lighting up.

"He is going through an episode again"

Lukas never thought of himself as someone who would snoop - after all, he never really cared for any women to reach that point - yet that text from your mother stirred up a morbid sense of curiosity. He watched the bright screen blinking again as another text popped up.

"Please... talk to your brother. He's threatening to do it again."

The screen door slid open, snapping him out of it. Quicking resuming his position, he smiled at you who were carefully finding your way back to your seat, side-stepping your coworkers. Your weary smile was poorly faked.

Lukas' heart beat fast. He was itching to ask you about what he saw, though he decided to hold it in. He didn't know how to begin the conversation without admitting that he had violated your privacy...that would warrant a strong reaction. Yet, within his curiosity, Lukas caught a glimpse of anticipation. How would you look at him, if you were to get mad? He tried to imagine you scowling, your jaw flexed and fists clenched. He wonder if you would curse him out. Maybe, you would even hit him.

God, he hoped you would.

Lost in a fantasy, he was grounded again when you softly excused yourself out "for some fresh air". Nobody paid any mind when you rushed off, your feet barely touching the ground.

Maybe now wouldn't be a good time to test out the validity of his craving. Lukas drew his attention to the rest of the party, trying to forget about it. He didn't understand a single thing, but Sakamoto's side was getting loud: he saw the guy bashfully trying to get through a coversation before excusing himself shortly thereafter with a cigarette in his mouth.

Anxiety bubbled in his guts as he sat alone and confused, bothered by the mental image of you and Sakamoto outside, bumping into each other. Would Sakamoto notice something was up with you? He might - the senior was sensible and keen-eyed. Lukas wasn't in love with small details, but he had seen the way the man covered for your lies on the spot. Short on breath, he caught his own fingers playing with the hem of his button-down shirt. Lukas tried to remind himself that whatever fixation he had on you should come to a stop, but amidst a feverish daze he couldn't resist the instinct to insert himself into your narrative. He didn't care if your mood would worsen. In fact, he hoped it would. He hoped you would take it out on him. Pulling himself up, he hurried after you.

By the restaurant entrance Lukas looked left and right, his heart racing. He didn't like that the reason he chose to be out was to interrupt your conversation, so he convinced himself that he was looking for something else, like a convenient store to get a pack of smoke. After all, he had a bad habit of craving them when he drank. Maybe, he could even look for Sakamoto and ask for one.

Lukas walked down the street, his eyes scanning faces of strangers. They didn't look his way, blurring past him like shadows. He wondered if he looked the same to you - a flash of color that breezed by, flat, voiceless, inconsequential. He didn't have time to let that thought eat him away when he caught Sakamoto's tall form leaning against a wall, half of his body hidden in an alleyway. Lukas took a long stride toward the man only in time for the buildings to move to the backend of his vision, revealing you who were giving a lit cigarette back.

[youmakethelight]

This past week has been difficult to be a caryl fan. It's been a visceral reminder of what it's like to love something in a world dominated by misogyny and ageism.

And now I've reached the Beth+Daryl episodes of my TWD rewatch, I'm reminded of how misogyny and ageism have tainted this fandom before. During that time, it became popular to hate on certain female characters and actresses and pit them against each other. And Melissa McBride responded with love for Emily Kinney.

I want to be really careful about responding to the new story in The Book Of Carol. Male showrunners and writers have the power to spread misogyny and ageism, both internal and external. I don't want to let them.

Isabelle's character always deserved to be regarded in her own right, and not viewed solely as an appendage or an obstruction to Daryl's story. Inconsistent writing makes it harder to recognise her character's value, but it's important to remember who is responsible for that.

David Zabel's recent comments have already led to the reduction of Isabelle's character and that is his fault for not reading the room. But the people who pay the price are fans who are affected by the normalisation of harbouring certain attitudes towards women, and Clemence Poesy.

I've noticed Clemence did an interview recently where she talked about her character questioning dogma. Daryl wasn't mentioned at all as far as I know, and yet we, the fans, were still preoccupied with whether that means that Isabelle might renounce her faith to be with Daryl. This shows the power that people like David Zabel have and how dangerous their ignorance can be.

Fans are fiercely protective of Carol and Melissa McBride, especially as the character and the actress have been through this before. But I want to be really careful about not letting that protectiveness blur into attitudes and behaviour that can harm women as a whole. As far as I can tell, nobody is equating Isabelle with Clemence, but there is still potential for harm.

Going forward, I'm going to think about this some more. But I think for now, I will try to focus on uplifting Isabelle's individual character arc as well as Clemence Poesy herself.

[that-left-turn]

The richonne fans actually have lead the discussion on racism in the fandom and we pretend we don’t see it or reply with snark because we don’t really care. I am a vocal caryler on twitter who speaks against it and if you were there you would see that. We get drowned out by the others. There’s not a lot of us who speak against it over there. But it’s easier to ignore it to whine about not getting canon from simple gimple and Zabel. I found you because of your fic. That’s where I get my fix because we will never get it from those men. But that doesn’t mean the bad behavior in our fandom should be ignored. Sad.

I have no idea what Richonne fans do or not, apart from the people in my asks who tell me to stfu and add colorful insults to make their point. Educating people on why something is hurtful and how institutionalized prejudice works is a good thing. Calling each other names, not so much. Most people aren't taught about racism in school, just that "racism=bad" which isn't all that helpful in itself. That said, I don't think it's a competition between taking a stand against racism or misogyny. They go hand in hand more often than not and I'm capable of being angry about both injustices at once. I do "whine" about both things.

It's a mistake to think of Gimple as "simple." He's not a competent showrunner or studio exec, his writing is bad and he's an unpleasant person, but he's shrewd. He's been molding the franchise into reflecting his personal preferences for years, to the detriment of the shows and those who've worked on them. He has certain criteria for the people he hires and the ones who've predated his power of influence, he's done his best to shove out.

Getting canon is important. It's representation for middle-aged relationships which we get precious little of on TV. The 'older' couples we see are mostly supporting cast, there to be a foil for the problems the protagonist has; they're not the focal point of the show. Caryl are from a poor white background (Carol's grandma made her clothes and Daryl grew up in a shack/cabin) and the depiction of that social class is always dysfunctional and often criminal. That needs to change too and it could, if Caryl lead the way.

DA survivors finding love and being able to trust is also, again, something that deserves a spotlight. Abuse is shameful and humiliating, and debilitating. People who go through that in real life need the hope that Caryl can provide. They live in a very violent world, but they've found something good in each other, and the fans who have gone through similar experiences can also find the inner strength that these two characters have.

Story integrity. Audience respect. Discussion on the bad behavior of the men in charge of TWDU is important. I will always talk about racism (even if I lose followers and fic readers over it) and I will also always talk about misogyny and sexism. I know I haven't really gotten into ageism, but that's because my topics have largely been decided by "what's in my inbox." (Feel free to drop an ask. I'd love the opportunity to talk about 'fun things' too 🙃)

All these issues are the evil siblings of the fandom and the franchise. One isn't more pressing than the other and that's the reason why different factions shouldn't turn on each other. We need to lift each other up, as well as the characters and the women who play them. We won't get ahead by tearing each other down and that's why I try to focus on providing information rather than being angry at individuals who may behave badly.

When I was a kid, my mom always told me why she wanted me to do this or not do that, and it stuck with me, because she showed me respect as an individual of my own, even if I was a 5-year old. People are more likely to listen if you don't speak in anger, if you afford them their dignity and you're not authoritarian... and I haven't walked in anyone else's shoes. I don't know what they're going through, so I try to give the benefit of doubt as to people's motives for what they do/say. I'm not ignoring bad behavior. I try to counter it in my posts, even if I have minimal outreach. Change starts at grassroots level, you know? "Be like water making its way through cracks."

Thanks for reading my fic 🙏😊 I really appreciate that. I've been rewatching S11, so I can get back into writing Stick Figures, but it's not a season that makes you excited about its storytelling. Double edged sword since I need the little details as tie-ins to my 'red thread' arc.

[littlemissidontcare]

Considering that she's about to be the longest known relationship, the idea that she doesn't "live up to his exes for him", is pure coping. Yall can dislike her while accepting that his actions don't align with your feelings about her whatsoever. Like no offense, but you know you lost when you need to resort to ageism and insulting looks constantly. She doesn't need to be hot nor young in order for him to want her and stay with her.

I’ve had a long day of being extremely diplomatic toward people who didn’t deserve my patience or kindness, so forgive me for sounding like a raging cunt when I say that the only one coping here is you. He looks like he’s smelling rotting fish every time she’s next to him and no, that is not an exaggeration. He refuses to touch her or look at her with any love or respect. Two years of dirty looks and uncomfortable body language pale in comparison to one year of smiles, affection, and contentment. And if I’m not mistaken, he was with Leighton for nearly three years. Annabelle just has some great lawyers, and Seb is too infatuated with his career to find a woman he actually feels compelled to treat nicely. You can say I’m coping, but what we saw in Cannes was not a loving couple, it was two people forcing something that has never been present. I’m sorry you feel the need to defend something that has never really been worth defending, but you should really stop wasting your time. He could marry her and I wouldn’t bat an eye. I’ve seen all I need to see. You will never convince me that he likes her or, given the choice, he’d have spent the past two years with someone else. Time and time, again, they’ve been outed for being an arrangement. And the more we see from them, the more that information is solidified for me. You can call me delusional, you can say I’m coping, they’re not normal, they’re not private. I’d barely call them friends.

You can throw your accusations of ageism at me, too. I don’t care. The fact that you’re coming up with these responses to every ask that dares to say something unsavory about a d-list failed actor who has less personality than polyester is a little pathetic. Everyone from your echo chamber is the same: you all play the misogyny or ageism card when you don’t know what else to say. If anything, you’re just showing your asses by projecting what you think is wrong with her on us. Margarita Levieva is 3 years older than Annabelle. She is a goddess in comparison. I’m not asking for Seb to be with something who’s twenty and a virgin, I’m simply saying that Annabelle is a shitty person who also happens to be unattractive. As someone who sees how grossed out he seems to be when he’s around her, I don’t see it ending well.

Also, to be frank, I’ve exhausted my logical arguments because your camp doesn’t have the capacity to absorb them. At this point, as I said, I believe what I believe based on hard evidence. I make fun of her looks because it’s funny watching a crappy person’s outsides grow to match her insides.

The only reason why you vouch as hard as you do for her is because Alejandra was her predecessor.

Had she shown up with Ale never having been in the equation, a lot of y’all might be willing to see what the rest of us do. Instead, you choose to place the bar in the ground because she’s an armchair activist who knows exactly what to hide so her fellow armchair activists will worship her. She plays the PR game very well, I’ll give her that much. You’ve clearly fallen for it.

[queen-paladin]

A PSA regarding women writers and directors

(tw: mentions of internal misogony, domestic abuse, cheating, and suicide)

I hear all this stuff on Tiktok and on Instagram. All about the phrase "Written by a woman" in regard to men and cis-hetero relationships. Praising women for creating "soft" male love interests that check all the boxes. And for their treatment of female characters. Like the "Female Rage" trend where instead of an angry woman yelling and losing their cool, we only have a woman glaring directly into the camera. They list all these books and films written and directed by women noting this. Now, let's be clear- I am 100 percent for supporting female-created and controlled works

But

Can we stop pretending women writers and directors are perfect? That there aren't women who are internally misogynistic and problematic in various ways (Do I even need to mention Rowling. I mean, she's a woman after all too!)? And that for those women who are artists, that said internal misogyny doesn't show up in their works? And that they don't romanticize things that are really messed up, wrong, or even dangerous?

Take Colleen Hoover for example. She's huge on Tiktok and you will see her books promoted everywhere. You would think if you picked up one of her books that it would involve all the Romance Written By A Woman Goodness.

BUT

So many of her books romanticize abuse, toxic relationships, and cheating with her female protagonists easily forgiving the male love interests (ex. Verity and All Your Perfects) or excusing and not taking accountability for their actions (for ex. hitting on a guy when they 100% know he has a girlfriend, calling other women "sluts" which the heroine of Maybe Someday does).

Or in Erin Morgenstern's The Night Circus where it is implied that Isobel is a bad person for being upset about her boyfriend cheating on her for the female lead and being dumped for the Side Chick?

Or take Kiera Cass's The Selection. In the first book of the series, we have a female protagonist who looks down on other women for wearing super show-offy dresses that promote their cleavage in a beauty competition (Yup! We also get slut-shaming!) While said modest, plain dressing (she dresses plain because she is "not beautiful" and "not like other girls!") heroine gets praised and called beautiful and ultimately lands the prince for this.

And I cannot tell you how many times in historical fiction and even sometimes in fantasy written by women I read a protagonist who "wasn't like other girls" who shat on women for wearing corsets, being "ladies", liking sewing and dresses, actually wanting romance, etc. And the female characters who DO that stuff sometimes even get punished and criticized for it! (ex, Enola Holmes, A Court of Thorns and Roses, A Great And Terrible Beauty, and my favorite punching bag, The Essex Serpent. Shout out to the tv adaptation to have the Proper Lady Stella's one act of agency after being cheated on and getting terminally sick...is to KILL HERSELF) Like it was a bad thing for women of that time or even women today to enjoy traditionally feminine things or to want romance. (I could also get into historic accuracy, but that's a different can of worms. Watch Karolina Zebrowska's videos for more in-depth explanations like "How men taught us to hate corsets" and "busting historic myths on women").

(There is also the whole element of other factors like racism, ageism, transphobia, and homophobia, that we could get into, but let's not make this post long)

Just because it is written or directed by a woman doesn't make it default good and perfect. Women are people. So women can be flawed and make mistakes. And women can create stories that hold up patriarchal ideas and notions and that shows up in their writing. Women can romanticize shitty men. Women can tear down other women for doing something harmless.

Listen, if you enjoy these stories that don't make you a bad, problematic person. You can definitely read them, but keep an eye out and question things. Women can create problematic elements in their stories just as much as men do and we need to watch out for them and deconstruct and question these when we see them.

Ok, thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

[bravadoting]

More musing about P4, but it’s interesting to compare Kanji and Naoto’s treatment by the narrative.

While ageism and misogyny are brought up in Naoto’s dungeon, they aren’t really followed up on her social link. Instead the arc focuses on reconnecting with her primary reason to become a detective (and child self), as opposed to focusing on other’s acceptance and approval.

I’ve mentioned previously how game goes on to frame her issues as a personal hangup, rather than explore systemic discrimination, but I also find that her male counterpart, Kanji, has his problems treated more seriously.

Similar to Naoto, Kanji grew up lonely and was demeaned for his unconventional interests, later causing him to present in a more masculine way. However, Kanji’s arc goes into more depth about the bullying he’s faced and how it informed his attitude towards others, pushing them away in fear of rejection. He even finds people who are support his passions and inspire him to live authentically.

His story is not perfect by any means, such as the frequent gay jokes at his expense and the insinuation that women are more judgmental of effeminate men than men (despite the game itself showing otherwise). However, the game still treats toxic masculinity as a legitimate problem, whereas Naoto’s internalized misogyny is not further explored and is used as an opportunity to further feminize her in the romance route, despite her indicating she’s most comfortable presenting as androgynous.

[dichromaticdyke]

skwisgaar feminism word salad response anon on another tangent again !! (is 💉 taken for an anon sign off? didn’t see so in ur beloved anon tag but i’ll be usin’ that for ease of communication on both ends)

regarding the shows take on gender: i definitely agree in the sense that it has a lot to say about gender, as well as the take of “deliberate critique of misogyny” vs “the show kinda also sucked with women” co-existing statements!!! i think in this case it just makes the internalized misogynistic fandom space behavior so much… worse in that sense, though? yes, the show did suck with women and their focuses, but with the show’s critique of celebrity + metal culture thus lending dethklok to view women of objects… it just feels like when the fandom discounts women in the show just as easily, it’s falling into the same trap dethklok does and i would argue that gets into the whole other issue of glorifying dethklok despite the fact they’re portrayed (initially, anyway) in a sort of always sunny in philadelphia “don’t be like this” way. which then turns the fans into a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts but that is a WHOLE other tangent-

either way, it’s disheartening to watch at times.

as for depth of the show vs sometimes it’s not that deep, even for how the fans react:

1. i adore ur analyses please continue having these fits of divine madness

2. i agree sometimes it’s not that deep! sometimes fans just want to watch two guys kiss! and that’s okay!

and i definitely agree that people don’t leave their implicit biases at the door when entering fandom (and i am forever grateful you do not leave your gender studies degree at the door either; truthfully, i would not feel so open critiquing the fandom with any other creator, as your perspective is inherently unique due to a variety of factors)

but i guess my whole perspective is… yeah, it feels a lot like there’s a portion of the fandom that doesn’t work on their inherent internalized misogyny, even on tumblr, which goes back to your post regarding skwisgaar finding all women beautiful and how his willingness to sleep with fat and elderly women has become a joke to many. of course, it also gets into fatphobia, lookism, and ageism, which honestly the ageism confuses me considering most folks are also thirsting after literal middle aged cartoon men but i suppose in their minds it’s different because they’re men and “not geriatric” or something.

in the latter case: cowards, all of them, as there is an inherent beauty to aging (and skwisgaar would agree)

-💉

(also im sorry for word vomiting in your inbox AGAIN there’s so many thoughts and not enough words but like ily and everything you do for the fandom. ur brain is galaxy level always)

ehehe don't apologize dear! i'm honored and proud that i've created a space where people do feel comfortable to talk to me about feminism and lesbianism despite the overwhelming focus on men within this community (again, understandable given the context of the show, but it doesn't make it any less exhausting sometimes).

i don't really have much to say in addition to this, you hit so many points i agree with! i remember some mtl creators talking about how if you can't meaningfully recognize where the show is satirizing oppressive thoughts and behaviors and instead reinforce those behaviors through your own actions, then you're not mature enough to be engaging with the show, and that's pretty much my stance on it! again, as we've mentioned, there will always be people who don't unpack all their internalized biases, and it's very easy to let those slip through even in good faith, but that's basically the viewpoint i have.

dethklok can be genuinely awful people sometimes, and we're not meant to agree with them on everything, and we have to remember that. as much as they've become massive comfort characters to me, i would guillotine all five of them irl.

[runningmanfeels]

I hate Running Man discussions on other social media sites, I feel like it's just all negative talk, with NOTHING positive. Like damn if you really hate the show so much.... you can just stop watching...! I dont understand the need to complain about every other second of what happens or doesn't happen in episodes.

"so and so cast member isn't exciting" or "I don't like this dynamic or game" or "I thought this was annoying"

like okay.... turn it off then? if you truly can't find anything positive in the show then maybe it's time to stop watching...

and the casual misogyny or ageism is always so fucking transparent. You're not slick, we can tell you're just a bigot. The absolute hate some of the members/staff get for just existing is disgusting.

Get a new hobby. Stop making yourself miserable and find a new show if you hate RM so much. Leave us to enjoy our little chaos family in peace please.

[gerardwaygirlmoments]

I’ve got a lot of thoughts on last night’s show… [long post. Gerard gender and Bullets and cheerleader thoughts included]

I didn’t watch the stream, but what I gathered from my dash is Gerard said that each LA show will be themed after an MCR era, with last night as Bullets. Additionally, fans theorize each show will have a reprisal of a female persona Gerard has taken during the tour, starting with the Cheerleader. How is she related to Bullets and why does she now have a flamethrower?

A lot of the lyrics of Bullets consist of violence against a female character, likely as something of an indulgence into the misogyny of the emo scene at the time. However, over the years we have gathered that those lyrics probably don’t describe a real hatred of women but instead Gerard suppressing the feminine side of themself, someone they loved and wanted to express but were too afraid to.

Since then, however, Gerard has expressed their feminine self in a multitude of ways, most significantly recently being the dresses/female personas. Even though Gerard was in their twenties when writing Bullets, I imagine they were confronting painful feelings from their teenage years, and the Cheerleader is the archetype of teenage femininity.

So that explains the Bullets-Cheerleader connection, but what about the flamethrower?

Traditionally, the Cheerleader is not seen as a very powerful figure, due to Patriarchy and I might even say ageism. Gerard is giving her that power. If you want to be crude and Freudian, you could say the flamethrower is phallic, and all that implies, but you really don’t have to. The power is badass and she wields it confidently, domineeringly, and euphorically.

Beyond Gerard just empowering the archetype, this is retaliation from the feminine self since the Bullets’ suppression. She has emerged undeniably in all the years, and she’s only going to further. And that clearly fills Gerard (and the rest of us) with utter joy and comfort. But if Gerard couldn’t take it anymore? If he tried to strangle her again?

SHE’D BURN HIS FUCKING FACE OFF

SHE CAN DEFEND HERSELF NOW

If the curse of Drowning Lessons is never broken, this will be why. Maybe it was once because Gerard was afraid to confront those feelings, but now it’s because the lyrics are irrelevant. After all the times he’s killed and mourned her, over and over again in a heart wrenching vicious cycle,

SHE CAN NO LONGER BE KILLED

[ingek73]

We didn’t ask for Lady Hussey to resign. But, really, the monarchy must do better on race

Mandu Reid

I witnessed the racist remarks, but blaming one person alone distracts from the depth and breadth of racism in that institution

Published: 19:31 Thursday, 01 December 2022

I generally avoid news about the royals. So it was a real eye-opener to find myself at the centre of a royal story. At a reception on Tuesday to honour those working to end violence against women and girls, I witnessed racist remarks from a member of the royal household directed at my friend and fellow activist, Ngozi Fulani. Lady Hussey’s prolonged interrogation about where Ngozi was really from, what her nationality was and where her people were from, was not – as many people have insisted to me over the past 24 hours – the kind of well-meaning curiosity that all of us experience from time to time (though it’s possible that Hussey believed that it was).

“Hackney” was Ngozi’s answer, but Hussey refused to accept this. Her response implied that Black and brown people couldn’t really be British. It implied that we were trespassing – and it made me reflect on the increasingly hostile environment of this disunited kingdom.

Even so, the media furore feels disproportionate, given the avalanche of huge stories you might expect to be dominating the news cycle. It’s not that this one isn’t serious. Racism always is, which is why I’ve spoken out. But something about this media frenzy feels … off. Even as I write this, interview requests are coming in faster than I can say no to (in one case my refusal was countered with the offer of a huge fee). If you have seen the emergency appeal that the Women’s Equality party launched this week, you will understand how hard that particular refusal was, though it confirmed why my decision had been right in the first place.

The initial calls I received were from journalists not looking for my account, but my corroboration. It took some time to realise that it was the very fact that the incident had been “witnessed” that made it significant, and forced the palace to respond swiftly (and in my view, unsatisfactorily). Unlike when the Duchess of Sussex made her accounts of royal racism, such as the “concerns” that were expressed over how dark her son’s skin might be, the palace wasn’t able to deny or deflect this time. It couldn’t rerun the famous line that “recollections may vary”, because three of us have identical, and identically uncomfortable, recollections of that encounter.

Soon after the first media reports were published, the palace announced that Hussey had resigned. This is a gambit that I have become increasingly familiar with since the Women’s Equality party started campaigning against police misogyny. What I’ve learned is that the “bad apple” narrative is potent not only because it masquerades as taking responsibility without the institution having to do any such thing, but also because it often helps drive a backlash against the “woke brigade” for cancelling yet another innocent. I see that “She’s 83” is now trending on Twitter, imploring us to leave this nice old lady alone, a stance that adds a dash of ageism to the racism that has pervaded much of the commentary.

The funny thing is, neither Ngozi nor I wanted Hussey to receive the grand order of the boot. Ngozi didn’t even name her publicly; it was social media that did this, immediately seizing on the story as another chance to form into polarised rival camps. Instead of stepping down, Hussey should be encouraged to step up, along with senior members of the royal household. This is much bigger than one individual: blaming Hussey risks minimising and distracting from the depth and breadth of racism that is enshrined in an institution that carries the heritage of empire, slavery and inequality (we are their subjects, after all).

Buckingham Palace trumpets its commitment to diversity and inclusion on its website. In a statement on Wednesday, it promised to remind staff of its policies. That’s a big ask when its own annual reports show a lack of diversity among the upper echelons of its staff. The palace’s history is dotted with failures of inclusion. Still, it’s not the worst of the royal courts. Anecdotal evidence suggests that honour falls to Kensington Palace, which didn’t even release this data in its last annual report.

Perhaps a starting point for an institution where staff think it’s OK to touch a Black woman’s hair or question her belonging would be signing up to cultural competence training. I know just the organisation to provide that. Sistah Space, the charity Ngozi runs to support African and Caribbean heritage women affected by domestic and sexual abuse, offers such courses to institutions that don’t know where to begin.

Wouldn’t it be something if Buckingham Palace asked for their help? It would certainly chime with the Queen Consort’s speech at the reception, in which she said that the starting point for responding to survivors of abuse was listening to them and believing them. Perhaps, one day, that principle could extend to Meghan too.

Mandu Reid is leader of the Women’s Equality party

[hbcsource]

Helena Bonham Carter’s Harper’s Bazaar UK interview | February 2023

A WOMAN SCORNED Helena Bonham Carter tells Lydia Slater why her latest role, exploring the life of the 1970s soapstar Noele Gordon, feels like restorative justice Those of a certain vintage may remember the ponderous sequence of nine guitar notes that were the signal to cluster around the television for Crossroads. Set in a Midlands motel, the soap was much derided for its flimsy sets, implausible storylines and clunky dialogue; nevertheless, in the mid-Seventies, the series was attracting 15 million viewers, and battling Coronation Street for ratings supremacy. The unquestioned star of the show was Noele Gordon, known to the nation as Nolly, who played the matriarchal, auburn-haired motel owner Meg Richardson (later Mortimer). The role had been created with Gordon in mind, and she remained Crossroads’ most popular character from the show’s launch in 1964 until 1981, when she was suddenly sacked. Her defenestration, and the reasons behind it, are the premise on which Russell T Davies has based his new three-part series, Nolly. ‘One of my very first jobs in TV was a trial script for Crossroads, and I’ve wanted to write the story of behind the scenes on that show for 40 years,’ he said. ‘Russell has always been a real supporter of the underdog,’ says Helena Bonham Carter, who portrays Gordon, complete with coiffure and carefully modulated accent. ‘He thought Nolly was really badly treated, and I think he wanted to give her the send-off and the recognition she deserved.’ Bonham Carter was ‘very aware’ of the soap as a child. ‘It was part of the perma-wallpaper, and I knew all the characters.’ She was immediately drawn to the complexity of the woman in Davies’ screenplay. ‘Nolly was a highly complicated character and a mix of many things – and not an easy mix,’ she says. ‘But I love playing people who are complex.’ Gordon was a child stage star who came from a modest background. She trained at Rada and went on to work both behind and in front of the television camera, becoming Britain’s first female TV executive; she helped Ned Sherrin and Reg Watson launch ATV Midlands in 1956, and was the first woman to interview a British prime minister when Harold Macmillan appeared on her chat show. Steeped in the workings of daytime television, Gordon was unafraid to voice her opinions on how things should be done on Crossroads. ‘She was outspoken, she was herself, she was utterly authentic,’ says Bonham Carter. ‘I think, frankly, she terrified the people who ran the show. And she was punished for that. It’s not new, is it, that women aren’t allowed to have a strong voice?’ Certainly, the first episode presents the ‘Queen of the Midlands’ as a daunting figure, swanning to the studios in mink coat and Rolls-Royce, changing a new character’s accent from Brummie to RP (in the teeth of the producer’s protests), and then playing an on-screen practical joke on the same rookie performer, after she dared to cast doubt on Gordon’s assertions of the programme’s popularity. But the series also shows how Gordon was greatly loved and respected by (most of) the people she worked with – particularly the actor Tony Adams. He played the motel’s suave, moustachioed accountant, Adam Chance, and in reality not only rented a flat from Nolly but was her closest ally – for, having been jilted by her fiancé, she never married or had children. ‘The show gave her a real sense of identity, belonging and purpose,’ says Bonham Carter. ‘She said she had two lives, as Meg Mortimer and Noele Gordon. And whenever she went to a hotel or a restaurant, inevitably they would take her to inspect the kitchen… the line was very smudged.’ As a result, Gordon lost far more than just her job when Charles Denton, the incoming controller of programmes at ATV, informed her agent that ‘all good things must come to an end’, a decision that this series lays squarely at the door of misogyny and ageism. ‘I think Nolly is quite right when she says, “You wouldn’t have sacked me if I’d been a man”,’ says Bonham Carter. ‘Men are allowed to be difficult and dictatorial. It really feels like Greek tragedy – she’s cut off in her prime.’ Gordon refused to take the decision lying down and complained to the press, resulting in national headlines, and sackfuls of irate letters sent to ATV from her devoted fans, while the series shows how producers retaliated by declining to tell Gordon how she would be written out and going to the extent of staging her fake funeral. Bonham Carter herself has never joined a long-running franchise. ‘Even after just two seasons with The Crown, by the end, with the best will in the world, you’re beginning to get a bit automatic – and if you’re faintly bored, it’s time to move on.’ Fortunately, at 56, her own career is as busy and diverse as ever. ‘We might have less collagen, but we’re much more interesting when we’re over 50,’ she says, with a laugh. ‘Life makes you more interesting, you’ve got more depth, the map of the soul is so much bigger if you’ve survived.’ Sadly, Gordon did not. She died of cancer in 1985, just four years after her sacking, while Crossroads itself only limped on until 1988. This charming series, and Bonham Carter’s portrayal, are a worthy tribute to a national treasure, and an overdue acknowledgment of the unjust treatment meted out to her.

[wadderz]

Since your ship didn't get together (ted and rebecca) you now claiming that jason and hannah a couple? Wow that's really stupid. Jason and Hannah are friends, their children are friends. And sorry for saying that, but I don't think Hannah is Jason's type of woman

Ship ted and Rebecca all you want, but please leave Jason and Hannah alone. Do you really have nothing better to do in your life than to analyze every meeting of the two, every picture of the two? I'm sorry but how old are you? The two are grown people and don't need someone to sit at home and analyze whether they look like a couple in different pictures or not

Aww this poor child thinks they have a shot with Jason. How quaint! Careful dear, your ageism, misogyny, and naïveté are showing. May I suggest a Women’s Studies class when you eventually get to university? Perhaps, you could also start reading some books in the meantime. I know you’re probably buried in the high school classics like “Romeo and Juliet” and “To Kill a Mockingbird”. However, I highly recommend “Feminism is for Everybody” by bell hooks, and “Men Explain Things to Me” by Rebecca Solnit. They’ll start to help you unpack that blatant misogyny you have toward the idea of someone in their 40’s possibly dating someone else in their 40’s. Tough stuff, I know. I truly have faith you’ll get there though. Have a wonderful summer break from school.

P.S. Don’t forget, just because you can’t have Jason, doesn’t mean you won’t find someone special eventually.

[aemonds-sapphire]

Ove just hopped onto tumblr wtf ew no who's thinking he's turned on from that scene??

Like sure older women can be his type as we know from Alys but no he's uncomfortable there, putting his head down to avoid her gaze with what we know from his character like cmon clearly he's not comfortable

See, my issue with Alys is that we simply don’t know enough about her to form an opinion. I really really want their relationship to be genuine, but I don’t know what they’ll do with her in the show…

I don’t want to ship two people who are not on equal terms in the relationship. There are rumours that she may have used a ‘love potion’ on Aemond (and Criston Cole).

It could also be just misogyny and ageism from the narrators (fuck you, mushroom). Because it’s so normalised for older men to be with younger women, but the opposite is rarely seen, so this could be just them saying she must have done something to Aemond otherwise he wouldn’t be with her.

Regardless, I’m curious to see what they’ll do with her and how they’ll handle their relationship ☺️