#i saw her ten years ago without a single clue who she was

[fruchtchen]

레베카 (2023 - 10주년) - 옥주현 (댄버스 부인), 웬디 (나), 테이 (막심)

Rebecca (2023 - 10th Anniversary) - Ock Joo-hyun (Mrs. Danvers), Wendy (I), Tei (Maxim)

https://www.instagram.com/p/CwSYzZVJH_F/

[jimlingss]

It's B from @bang-tan-bitches and I would like to request a yandere fic. It can be BTS OT7 x reader or BTS member of your choice x reader. Similar to your amazing isekai story i would like something similar(a long one shot or a multi-chapter, your choice). Whether YN transmigrates to a game or a novel (not as a villain but maybe as a cannon fodder side character that has little importance to the story and just wants to lay low) but YN captures the attention of the love interest(s) and shit starts getting weird, intense, uncomfortable. Maybe it causes the supposed female lead to turn into the villain, maybe it causes the love interest(s) to turn into the villain(s). Maybe YN realizes that something is wrong with the story/game but can't figure it out. Idk. Time period doesn't matter. Modern. Ancient. Fairytale. Fantasy. Whatever.

If you can do this great! If you can't or don't want to, that's okay too. You're an amazing writer with so much talent and I'm really appreciative of all your work. Thank you for taking requests from your fans, I'm sure you've received a lot.

Take care! 😘💜💜💜

at the start of the pandemic, I was getting back into manga and manhwa and then after a few months, I dawdled off but recently, I’ve been getting back into it again haha so this request came at a pretty good time. Hopefully you won’t mind that I’ve taken some creative liberties with this request lol I think it’s more fun if I keep readers on their toes, including the requester.

On another note, I really shouldn’t be writing all my isekai’s with Taehyung as the main lead but he’s just so fitting asdfghjkl

↳ The Fox Bride

2.6k || 99% Light Fluff, 1% Angst || Kim Taehyung || Isekai!AU, Slight Yandere!AU, Nine-Tailed Fox!Taehyung

You are a tutorial character.

But you weren’t always. You still remember being a career woman in the twenty-first century, struggling with overtime and paying bills while trying to keep yourself fed. The success of that ranged from month to month. But more importantly, you still remember that night too.

It was rainy. Your car blew a flat tire. You pulled to the side of the highway and got out.

The last thing that registered was the deafening honk of the semi-truck. 

Then you felt yourself flying upwards.

But when you landed, instead of colliding with the concrete and dying upon impact, you fell back onto your ass in the middle of a market on a dirt road. Transported back a thousand years ago.

Your purpose was fulfilled in the next two minutes. 

“Are you alright?”

The male protagonist had stretched out his hand and helped you up. The hero. The main character. It was obvious with his bright red hair, shining eyes and bronze armour. He was so starkly different from the rest who were gray and drab, including you who was suddenly in a brown shapeless dress. He was practically a neon billboard in the middle of a graveyard.

“Are you Y/N?”

You looked at him, befuddled that he knew your name. But before you could even respond or provide a line of dialogue, he said, “This is a delivery from Baker Jeon. He gives you his thanks.”

The protagonists handed you a loaf of bread. Undoubtedly his first ever quest. 

You looked down, not sure what to do with it.

“Do you know where the blacksmith is?”

You had absolutely no clue. But there was the deafening noise of hammering steel literally ten steps away. You would have to be blind not to see the gruff man shaping a sword at an anvil right on the road and deaf not to hear it. As if that wasn’t enough, the literal sign of the shop read: ‘the blacksmith’.

So you pointed.

“Thanks.” And he trudged off.

You were utterly confused until a background character who said they knew you waved you over. You shared your bread with her, brushed aside when she asked you what was wrong, and you followed her as she walked up to your supposed cottage.

All the while, you saw yourself in the background of the hero’s main quest as he ran through the town.

And that was that.

It wasn’t so hard to figure out where you were or what the hell this was when you put your mind to it. Without much of a job or a family, and no technology but the candle that you had to conserve when night fell, there was ample time.

So you spent it thinking and you eventually solved the mystery.

You were in Beast Boys Harem: A Forbidden Embrace. AKA. a dumb yaoi otome game app that you downloaded on your phone when you were sixteen and bored. You remember because you were too cheap to buy the routes, so you played the tutorial, prologue and read the summaries of the routes online. Now you regret that you didn’t just fork over the goddamn five dollars. 

Even more than that, you regret that you even downloaded the game in the first place.

But at least you’re just a tutorial character. You’re free from the storyline and the plot—

That’s what you thought.

Turns out living a thousand years in the past in a fantasy realm as a woman didn’t bode well. It was probably no different from how it would’ve been like in the medieval ages. You had no trade skills. No one was willing to accept you as an apprentice when you were a woman. You found that you were essentially illiterate with a reading level of a preschooler, no one was willing to teach you, and you had no power or wealth when you were without a father or a husband.

And you’re certain what the landlord and tax-collectors are doing is illegal.

But in this world, in this unjust realm, there is no such thing as the law.

“We know you’re in there!”

You jolt from the heavy pounding on the frail wooden door.

“It’s time to pay up!”

Your hands tremble as you set the candle down that’s still billowing of smoke, the flame smothered out mere seconds ago. As much as you want to hide and pull the blanket over your head, you know that door won’t last. They’ll find you if you’re trapped in here.

“If you can’t, spread those legs of yours!” a low voice spits and there’s chortling from the men.

Someone adds, “Sell your body already!” 

“Open up! Damn whore!”

Without a single possession but the white nightgown clad on your body, you open the latch of the back window. You cringe at the squeak, trying to keep your movements quiet before the door gives way.

You hoist yourself up onto the window ledge. The door bends with the strength of multiple clenched fists against it. Your feet touch the soft grass outside your cottage. The men shout.

And the door finally slams against the wall, hinges broken. 

But by then, you’ve slipped into the shadows.

“Where is she?!”

The blanket is ripped off the bed, curtains are whipped back, every drawer dumped onto the ground and cupboards yanked open. The floor shakes with the weight of their boots and you press your palm to your mouth to silence your panting breaths, slowly stepping away.

“That damn whore slipped through us—!”

But as your shitty luck would have it, a sudden crack has the whole world coming to a standstill.

Shit. You look down at your feet, realizing that the snapping noise came from you stepping on a twig. And it’s exposed your hiding place.

“There she is!” — “Out the back window!”

You grab fistfuls of your dress and bolt. 

“Get her!”

With your cottage on the edge of town, there’s nowhere to run but through the dense woods. It’s shrouded in the darkness, no doubt filled with wild beasts creeping through the thicket. The rustling canopy of the trees doesn’t allow the dim, waning moonlight to illuminate your path.

So you’re left blind. Struggling up the high incline of the forest, feet slipping on dirt and mud. But you keep sprinting with all your might, even when the pointed, coiling branches scrape at your calves until blood sheds and the hem of your dress tears in the underbrush.

“Run, little rabbit!” one of them mocks, “Run!”

The four men continue to give chase, gripping onto their roaring torches, shrieking and howling after you. One of them is manically laughing as if your efforts to flee only adds to the thrill. Their greased hands reach out to snatch you, but the tips of their fingers graze the ends of your hair.

Your teeth are sunk into the bottom of your lip, sobs breaking through your aching chest. Your lungs burn, dying for a break or moment of relief. But you don’t relent and luckily, you manage to build distance between you and the men. Only, that luck comes crashing down by a fucking hole.

A hole in the forest floor that you don’t see. That has your footing all wrong. That makes you scream and fall.

You twist your ankle in a direction it’s definitely not supposed to be in and cry from pain. 

A second later, you force yourself to get up and keep running with tears flooding your eyes and dripping down your cheeks. But it’s more like limping than running, akin to hobbling on one leg and every movement has pain shooting from your swelling ankle.

The effort becomes futile. They surround you within minutes.

“All finished?” The tax-collector’s head cocks with a spreading grin. “You’re not going to keep running?”

Why couldn’t you just fucking die the first time?! Even if it was an awful death where you didn’t have time to prepare yourself or say goodbye to anyone, at least it would’ve been the end. At least you wouldn’t have to suffer.

But there’s no time to grieve. Or hate the new life you’ve been given. This is it. You have to keep going. You have to survive. By any means. You’re about to pick up a branch and uselessly wave it around at them, shout at them to stand back. Anything that you could do to save yourself—

“Who dares come onto my mountain?!”

There’s a deep timbre behind you. A husky voice that quivers the very core of the forest.

As if the wind has swept through, the trees and thicket rustle and it goes silent.

The men fall back onto their asses, some torches clattering to the ground. Their eyes have grown double in size, nearly falling from their sockets and their jaws have dropped to the dirt.

“I-It’s the nine-tailed fox!”

The man scrambles back.

“Demon!” 

Another barely manages to get onto his feet. He turns around and lurches away while shrieking.

They all run. Scattering away as frantically as cockroaches when the light is flickered on.

From your spot on the ground, you turn around with wide eyes. 

Amber irises meet your gawking and they practically glow in the darkness of the forest. He is dressed in a loose, white robe that’s draped over his frame, open to the middle of his chest. And over his honey hair, on the top of his head, his pointed golden ears twitch. By the torch fire still yet to die out, he is illuminated and his shadow is casted on the ground. The blazing flame warms his cold, sharp features. 

He is the most beautiful person you’ve ever seen. In both worlds you’ve lived in.

And you know who he is.

Taehyung. One of the love interests of the hero. A seductive, sly creature that eventually coaxes the hero into selling him his soul to grant one of his wishes. But Taehyung grows to become an obsessed character that wants to do nothing but monopolize and possess the hero for himself.

That same Taehyung approaches you with his lip curled as you teeter to your feet.

“Run away, girl.” He leans close. “Before I eat you.”

“Stop!” 

On sheer instinct and adrenaline, you push him back. Your palm shoves against his firm chest.

Taehyung stumbles back with his eyes becoming rounded. He looks down to where you had made contact against his body. “Did...you just touch me?”

“What?”

Taehyung’s head darts upwards and he captures your wrist in his hand, squeezing tightly. He tugs you in and on your swollen ankle, you stumble into him. Bodies flush against one another. Your face pressed to his warm chest. His arm coming around your waist to break your fall.

He is aghast. 

“You’re not from this world.” Taehyung’s yellow eyes swirl as they gaze into you. “Where did you come from?”

…

It’s been three days.

“Wed me,” he begs for the seventy sixth time. 

You don’t know why you’re keeping a count.

“No.”

You’re hugging your knees for warmth. The rice paper-paneled doors are slid open and letting in the chilly air. He doesn’t seem to be affected by the cold, but you don’t look at him for long. 

You turn into the corner of his home while sitting on the tatami floors as if you’re putting yourself into time out. But you’d like to say it’s your privacy corner. It’s as private as this abode, which was basically one room, could get. 

Taehyung sighs in frustration, placing his hand on his forehead. His teeth grit. “You’re only making this harder for yourself.” Your silence angers him more. “You can never leave.”

You turn over your shoulder to glare. “Even if I married you, you’d never let me leave anyway.”

Taehyung narrows his eyes on you and then smirks. “You’re right. Wed or unwed, I won’t let you out of my sight. You should feel grateful, girl. You’re the best human I’ve ever treated.”

You quietly scoff.

Maybe you should feel scared. Maybe you should tread more lightly. After all, he’s not a character to be trifled with.

But you know he needs you. That alone gives you power. 

As a beast, Taehyung’s been trapped on this mountain by priests for centuries. The only way he can be free is by feeding off of sexual energy and breaking the barrier. But of course, they also cursed him to be unable to touch any woman in this universe. 

You aren’t from this universe.

You jolt when you realize that while you were lost in thought, Taehyung’s crawled closer. He has a foxy smile, amber eyes searching your expression. “Maybe….maybe I’ll grant you a bit of freedom if you would just give into the temptation and let me have a taste of you.”

As cold as he looks, he is beautiful. He is mischievous when he smirks and sly when he speaks. You are utterly spellbound as you look into his irises. And the temptation he speaks of flickers in the warmth of your belly.

But you turn away.

“I already said we only do that kind of thing after marriage. And I will only marry someone I love.”

Taehyung draws back with an unamused scoff. “What a prudish world you’re from.”

He wanted you the moment you were brought to this house. With the intensity of his stare and your captivated state, you had let him pin you to his floor and you liked it. But then clarity came and you blurted that such an act only happens after marriage. A lie just to buy time.

You didn’t expect for the hero to arrive at Taehyung’s house the next day. With his red hair and bronze armour, he had gotten lost in the forest and knocked on the door. Before you could limp over and answer it, Taehyung jumped off the roof and confronted him.

The guy was thrown off the mountain within five minutes.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. They were supposed to have a steamy rendezvous. Taehyung was supposed to get the sexual energy from him! 

The story was going off the rails. And you’re not sure what you’re even buying time for anymore.

The both of you know it’s only a matter of time before you break and succumb to his mesmerizing seduction.

Taehyung is cruel, ruthless, obsessive.

But what’s the most bewitching thing about him is the jarring contrast of when he’s clumsy and nurturing. It’s what he regards as his own weakness. What he hides from others. But you felt your heart waver two nights ago when you were shaken awake in the middle of twilight. When you peeked open your eye to see him gingerly wrapping your swollen ankle with bandages.

He looked beautiful in the pale moonlight, ears, tails, sharp features softened—

“Ow!” You wince as he squeezes your ankle, right on your injury.

“You think too much in your head,” he says and looks at you. “What’s wrong?”

“It hurts.”

A sadistic smile tugs on Taehyung’s lips. He lets go, but only to lift your chin with his fingers. His plush lips are inches away, his breath warm on your skin and he gazes deep into you. “I won’t let you return to your world. I won’t let you run away. I won’t let anyone harm you.”

“You’re mine now.” Taehyung swears, “You’ll fall in love with me eventually.”

You gulp and he smirks.

The two of you know it’s only a matter of time.

[mister-supernova]

If I Saw You on the Street

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3

Pairing: Hope Mikaelson x Reader - Platonic Josie Saltzman x Reader

After Malivore

For as long as you could remember, summer vacation was your absolute favorite time of the year. To your surprise, it’s actually been a huge drag for you this year. It wasn’t like this was the worst summer ever--you could think of a few others that could take that spot--but there was definitely something off that you couldn’t piece together. 

For instance, no one has any idea as to how Landon destroyed Malivore, not even Landon himself. That whole day seemed to be a huge blur to all of the students. You remembered the bigger events like the school defeating Triad, but everyone seems to struggle when it comes to the smaller details.  

In order to keep yourself busy, you decided to stay at the school and take a summer job at the Mystic Grill. Besides the fact that everyone else was back home with their families, the whole school had this off-putting sense of emptiness. The place has magic in the walls for crying out loud, you usually feel some sense of liveliness. 

There was this one room in particular that you felt strangely drawn to. You had no idea why since you knew that no one stayed in that room this past year. At least, no one you knew anyways. 

One day out of pure curiosity, you picked the lock to that room to see what was special about it. 

Just as you expected, it was just a regular empty dorm that was probably going to be taken up by a new student during the fall. It looked like every other bedroom at the school, but this one felt familiar. 

Something that caught you off guard was the scent that faintly lingered in the room. The best way you could describe it was something floral with a hint of sweetness and spice--vanilla and cinnamon maybe--and it wasn’t like anything else you had smelled in the school before. 

As much as you wanted to, you couldn’t bring yourself to leave for the longest time. The urge to stay and wander trumped over the obvious choice that was to walk away. 

Something happened here, you thought. 

A few small drops of pastel blue paint chips stained the wooden floorboards and you wondered how the hell they got there given the rooms have white walls. 

Instead of questioning it any deeper, you just assumed that a student who had this room before must’ve gotten the paint on the floor and the janitors hadn’t noticed it. 

But how could they have missed that? 

You stood there for what felt like hours, trying to piece together what it was that made this place have this unexplainable affect on you. You could’ve stayed there for the rest of the day digging through your brain for an answer that would never come. 

At the end of the day, you knew nothing would come to mind no matter how hard you tried. It was like the answer was at the tip of your tongue, but your mind was radio silent.

Frustrated and defeated, you had to force yourself to leave the strange room. After that, you made yourself forget about that place completely for the rest of the summer and refused to ever return to it.  

Whenever you weren’t at work, you spent time with Landon, Josie, and a wolfed-out Rafael which was fine in the beginning. Dorian gave you permission to shift in the woods on full moons for the summer so that Raf could talk to somebody and you guys could possibly get information on how to help him. 

He definitely appreciated the company that you could provide, but alas he had no idea on how he could be turned back. 

The happier times were the nights you four had weekly movie nights by the Old Mill. You all would alternate who would pick the movie to watch and Landon absolutely hated that you chose a horror movie every single time, but you loved hearing the phoenix boy screech with terror. Josie would get a good kick out of it, too and you were positive that you’d see Raf wag his tail every time Landon screamed.

During those small moments, things felt like they could possibly get back to normal, but once you stepped foot back in the school, you were lost again. 

Your thoughts were much louder through the night. It would get so bad that you could barely get any sleep and the times that you would, you’d wake up screaming from a night terror. 

There was one night when you were tossing and turning, you knocked on Josie’s door to ask if she knew some kind of incantation to get you to fall asleep. You were up for anything at that point, even letting her swing a frying pan over your head to knock you out.  

Not wanting to hurt you or possibly kill you, Josie made you some sleepytime tea instead which actually helped a lot. It didn’t help so much with the vivid dreams you’ve been having, but you thought that it was better than getting no sleep at all. 

Everything felt like it was going decently well until Raf decided to bow out once Josie and Landon started getting close. You wanted to curse at him for making you the third wheel, but you understood that he couldn’t wait here forever for some solution that could help him become human again. He had to move on somehow, especially seeing that his best friend seemed to be moving on, too.

Regardless, you started feeling awkward hanging out with just the two of them. They wanted to include you during their weekly movie nights, but you’d just make up some excuse that you had to be up early for work the next morning. 

Landon--damn him for knowing your work schedule--could tell that you were bullshitting, but he didn’t want to force you into doing something you didn’t want to do. 

You tried busying yourself with other activities like running through the woods, canoeing in the lake, taking extra shifts at work, binge eating all the good snacks in the kitchen; you even got yourself into drawing and painting for some weird reason, but no matter what you did, there was still something missing. 

Towards the end of the summer, you didn’t feel like your usual jokester self. Sure, you’d throw out a line of sarcasm or make a witty comment here and there, but most of it would sound forced. You’d mainly do it so that Josie and Landon wouldn’t worry about you so much, but Josie quickly picked up on your facade. 

They really wanted to help you figure out what was making you feel this way, but as much as you appreciate their help, there was nothing they could do. How could they figure out what was wrong if you didn’t even know for yourself?

One day after your shift at work, you decided to do something you never in your wildest dreams thought you would ever do. 

You started cleaning your room. 

Josie volunteered to help even though you assured her you’d be fine doing it alone. She bribed you by saying she’d buy you a milkshake if you let her help, so without another word, you agreed to let her stay and assist.

“Gosh, do you throw out any of your old assignments?” Josie asks as she rummages through your desk drawers, “This is an algebra one paper from three years ago, Y/n,” she says, flashing your old homework assignment with a huge F circled in the front. 

“Hey, less judging and more cleaning.” You say, digging through your dresser for clothes you don’t wear anymore. 

“Did you try writing a reminder for a history test or something?” 

You furrow your eyebrows before turning to look at Jo, “What do you mean?”

“You have this post-it note that says “Don’t forget H”, but that’s all that’s written,” she holds up the note and from the other side of your bed, you read exactly what she had said. 

It definitely looked like you tried scribbling another letter after the H, but it ended up being a long messy squiggle, “Uh, I don’t know,” you shrug, “Probably. I must’ve been half asleep when I wrote it though because I have no clue when I did that.” 

Josie puffs her lip out in confusion, “Well. I would be surprised by that, but judging by the ten cans of energy drinks I just tossed out, it’s not so surprising to hear that your memory is a little fuzzy.” 

You drop your jaw in shock, “Is today Judge Y/n Day and I wasn’t made aware of it? You asked to help clean my room Jo, now save your judgments for another day please.” 

Josie playfully rolls her eyes at you, followed by a small chuckle, “Toss?” She asks, ready to crumple the piece of paper up. You take a second to answer back, wondering whether or not if you did forget some history assignment or maybe something even bigger than that. 

“Sure,” you feel your stomach churn seeing her throw the note in the trash bag, but there was no taking it back now. 

Another few minutes of silence pass until Josie speaks up, “Since when do you draw?” 

You look back up from your clothes to see Jo now holding up a sketchbook you snagged at the lost and found a few weeks ago. It was brand new and untouched, so you thought to yourself “why not?”. 

After explaining that to Josie, she flipped through some of the first few pages. You were no Leonardo DiCaprio--or whatever that painter guy’s name was--but you thought you were decent with your sketches. 

“These are really good, Y/n. Did you just think of these by yourself?” She asks, talking about the drawings you had of a girl you’ve been seeing in your dreams. 

You could only see parts of the girl’s face. Mostly you’ve only been able to clearly see features like her eyes and hair, so most of the pages were taken up by a pair of blue eyes and waves of auburn hair. 

“Not really. I’ve been having these really vivid dreams lately.” You tell Josie.

“This is who you see?” She looks down at the pages again, “Who is that? She doesn't look like anyone we know.”  

“Yeah, I don’t know either. She’s all I’ve been seeing, though.” 

“Well, it looks like you’ve found yourself a hidden talent.” Josie smiles, gently setting the book back down on the desk, “And maybe she’s your soulmate,” she teases. 

You just roll your eyes with a small smile and get back to your tasks. 

Like a girl that beautiful could even exist let alone talk to me, you think to yourself. 

As you continue sorting through your clothes, you notice a pair of sweats that look almost smaller than half your size. 

“Uh, Jo?” She turns to your attention, “These aren’t yours, are they?” 

She raises an eyebrow at you, “How short do you think I am? I think my legs are a little longer than whoever those are.” 

“Well, they’re not mine, obviously. How’d they get into my drawer?” 

“Maybe they belonged to whoever lived in this dorm before you?” Josie shrugs.

“But the dresser was completely empty when I moved in,” you think for a moment, now questioning everything, “At least, I thought it was. I would think that I would’ve taken these out if they were here. Why would I keep a pair of sweatpants that I don’t fit in?” 

“You do a lot of questionable things, you know. Like that one time you jumped through a bonfire wondering how hot it really was or when you tried to do a backflip off the roof of the school and into the pool or the time you “drank” a beer through your-” 

You raise your hands in surrender and cut her off before she could finish, “Okay, I get it! I do stupid shit. The sweatpants belonged to whoever lived in here before I moved in and I didn’t take them out of the drawer. Case closed. Swiftly moving on.” 

You were positive they weren’t there when you moved in, but there weren’t any other reasons you could think of as to how they got into your dresser. 

Seconds before you tossed it back into the bottom of your drawer, your nose barely caught the same sweet and spicy floral scent that you recalled smelling in the strange room. Breathing it in again brought back that memory of being mentally lost in that room, but oddly enough this time it made you feel calm. 

After another hour passed you and Josie ended up filling three bags of trash, one of them recycled trash, and one large donation box of clothes. 

You didn’t waste any time reminding her that she owed you a milkshake. She kind of hoped that you would’ve forgotten about your deal, but she was a woman of her word.

You made a “compromise” to take your box of clothes over to the donating center on the other side of the town square while Josie bought the milkshakes. 

Your task was a lot quicker than Josie’s since it was pretty much rush hour at the Grill right now, so you waited for her on one of the benches in the square.

Sitting by yourself with nothing else to do but wait, you couldn’t help but feel that empty feeling return. The emptiness never hit you all at once, but it definitely drained the hell out of you. 

Again, you felt stumped. Like there’s somewhere you should be or something you should be doing or someone you should be with. You knew Josie was going to be back any minute, but that wasn’t what was missing. 

You anxiously looked toward the Mystic Grill, feeling your breaths becoming more and more shallow as every second passes. You started wishing Josie would walk out so that all your worries could just go away. 

Then--almost like you knew right where to look--your gaze stopped when you noticed someone looking at you from where you just came from on the other side of the town square. 

You couldn’t make out her facial features from so far away, but it was the auburn color of her hair that stuck out to you more than anything. For a moment--and just for a moment--all the weight that had been weighing on your shoulders this summer felt much lighter and everything felt okay again. 

“One cookies and cream milkshake,” Josie’s voice startles you and you face her abruptly, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” she chuckles, lending you your milkshake.

“No, you’re good. I was just…” you look back to the spot you saw the girl only to find that she was gone, “I was just lost in thought.” 

You had no idea what just happened or how you seemed to have possibly seen the girl from your dreams, but just a glimpse of her made you feel more emotions than you have all summer long. Because of that, a huge part of you hoped that you would see her again. 

~

heyyyyyy beautiful people! thanks for over 100 likes on This Isn’t Goodbye you guys gals and nb pals! i’m super super happy that you’ve been enjoying this series so far! still have no idea how many more parts this will be just yet lol but i really appreciate every one of you for the love <3  

*also the title was inspired by the song Dreams Tonite by Alvvays in case you were curious ;)*

taglist: @chicken-wang09​ @trikruismybitch​ @sodangtired​

[andromedasstarship]

faceless, nameless - chapter 2

photo credit - unknown 

pairing - kylo ren x reader

warnings - canon-typical star wars violence, torture, fighting, angst. 

summary - You took a moment to examine this guy and that’s when it hit you, FN-2187, a stormtrooper was wearing Poe’s jacket and you could’ve sworn you saw red.

blog rules

a/n - i dont claim any ownership over dialogue pulled directly from the films :) this chapt is like 3.5k so buckle up!!! 

masterlist // read it on ao3 here 

chapter 1 // next chapter 

-----

the stars

Present Day 

Starkiller Base. 

A few months ago, you had given everyone on base a lesson in First Order torture techniques. Personally, you thought it was a rather pointless activity, knowing full well that none of them would ever be even slightly capable of standing up against Ren. Poe blabbed on about ‘hope’ and ‘they need to be able to find comfort’ and other random ‘good guy’ optimism nonsense. At the end of your lesson you stressed that the best chance they had of keeping their mouth shut was to find a memory- a good one-, and latch onto it as tight as possible until the Order was finished with them. 

Poe was really glad he talked you into giving that lesson, seeing as your advice had helped him withstand the past few hours of near constant torture at the hands of the Order. Various troopers and officers had come and gone, all failing in their attempts to extract what he had done with the last piece of the map to Skywalker. 

Around hour three his body began to give out and all he could think about was how you certainly hadn’t been lying in your constant complaints about how cold Starkiller was. As he faded into unconsciousness, he silently prayed you weren’t having a full blown breakdown and that BB-8 had somehow managed to find you on Jakku. 

When he woke again, no clue how much time had passed, he was greeted with a deep modulated voice from the other end of the room. Ren. 

“I had no idea we had the best pilot in the Resistance on board.” Ren stated, voice flat. “Comfortable? 

“Not really.” Poe responded, voice equally as flat. Behind his mask, Ren was staring quizzically down at him. Ren was more than used to the feelings of intense hatred that his prisoners projected towards him- if anything it was the expected response-, but there was something so different about the emotions Poe was projecting, unlike anything he’d ever experienced. It was so... personal. 

“I'm impressed, no one has been able to get out of you, what you did with the map.” 

It didn’t take a genius to know what was coming next. Not bothering to respond, Poe started to slip back away into his happy memory. In his mind, you were there, back turned to him but he could still hear you laughing as the two of you ran through the field by his childhood home 

He was forcibly removed from the memory when Ren reached outwards, slamming Poe back against the chair, with the Force. “I see.” Ren said darkly, twisting his hand ever so slightly, watching in enjoyment as Poe began to strain against the pressure building in his brain. 

Poe’s mind was panicked, trying in vain to hide the memory of you, but it was too late, as Ren had already caught the tail end of it. 

“Is it a girl that holds the last of the map Dameron?” Ren taunted, forcing his way deeper into Poe’s mind. 

Poe’s face was scrunched up in agony, desperate in his attempts to shield your identity from Ren. Ren mistook the admirable struggle as proof that it was this girl who held the key to the map, rather than Poe’s personal attempts at keeping you safe. Ren continued his mental assault, breaking down every mental wall Poe tried in vain to put up. 

A flash of your masked face. Ren was getting closer. 

Then there it was, you- unmasked, no disguise-, staring up at Poe in his memories. 

Poe in his panic started thinking of every single thing he could- what he ate for breakfast before he left, the color of his favorite shirt, the list of chores he had to do on base-, anything to try and divert Ren from you. 

It was like time stopped, the mental probe retreated only for an instance before Ren was back in Poe’s head with a new unrelenting force, pulling up Poe’s most recent and clear memory of you. 

“I don’t like the idea of this.” You said quietly.

“Have I ever let you down Princess?” Poe said with a grin. When that didn’t seem to amuse you, he put a hand on your cheek, angling your face up towards him. “Three days, I’ll see you on Jakku then. I promise.” 

And then the memory was gone. 

----

Jakku. 

It had been two years since Poe and blondie- you later learned his name was Leokai-, had stumbled upon you bleeding out in the sand. Adjusting to Resistance life had been difficult and for months you thought you’d never gain their trust. It wasn’t until you had accompanied Poe to a Resistance ‘recruitment’ meeting and noticed a First Order operative slinking around the crowded room. You had quite literally dragged Poe as far away from the building and off the planet in a matter of minutes, effectively saving him from giving a ‘we’re right here’ speech directly to the Order. After that, the general opinion about you among Resistance members turned positive. 

You still donned a disguise for their safety, lest their mind was ever blended up by Ren. It was incredibly simple, a well designed wig and different colored contacts. Natural enough that you’d never attract undue attention, but still enough that unless Ren had specific intel to look for this version of you, he’d never double check a fleeting memory that might include you; luckily no one had been unfortunate enough to test this theory. During any official Resistance business or battles you donned a plain white mask that wrapped securely around your face. 

When you first got the mask, you and Poe had had a field day with it, trying to figure out how much movement it could handle before falling off; Leia had actually caught the two of you trying to tie yourself to Poe’s X-Wing to see if that would finally get the thing to move. 

All in all, life with the Resistance was treating you pretty well. Except for right now, as you anxiously waited for Poe in a small nondescript ship on the outskirts of the Niima Outpost in Jakku. Poe, you had quickly learned, was one of the biggest idiots you had ever met. You weren’t exactly sure how he had talked you into splitting up for this mission. Splitting up was never a good idea, how had every horror HoloNet show not taught him that already? But Poe had made an undeniable point, the First Order- the Knights of Ren specifically-, were hot on his trail for the last piece of the map to Skywalker and you couldn’t risk being caught up in that fight. 

So, you agreed to split up. But Poe was late.  Late enough to warrant the uncontrollable worrying. Ever since ‘the incident’ you had developed a horrible case of ‘abandonment issues’; everyone reassured you it was a perfectly reasonable response, but you hated it, the complete lack of control over your own brain drove you nuts. You were pacing back and forth, doing your best to calm your nerves. Wherever Poe was, for his sake, you prayed he had a damn good reason for being late. Knowing that you were full of nerves,  Poe had even given himself a very wide arrival time so you wouldn’t worry. But here you were, worrying . 

Unable to wait around any longer, you decided to gear up and make your way to the outpost. If you were lucky, maybe someone had seen him or maybe you’d even find him yourself. You pulled your hair tight to the back of your head, clipping it in place, before sliding your mask on. As you headed out the doors of the ship you grabbed your staff, slinging it around your shoulder. A year ago, you managed to finally access funds that you had left behind on your home planet. Not only did it help purchase a lot of life saving supplies for the Resistance, it also meant you were able to buy and build a brand new staff for yourself. It wasn’t as advanced or sleek as the one you used in the Order, but it did the job just as well. 

The trek to the outpost would only take less than an hour, giving you adequate time to try and calm your nerves. You made a list as you walked, you made a lot of lists these days, having found it greatly helped in controlling your anxiety. 

Poe was just a bit lost, his sense of direction was never as good on the ground as it was in the air. 

Poe was being his charming self and chatted up someone a little too well and lost track of time. 

You still had your ship and if he wasn’t back by the end of the day you’d be going back to D’Qar and putting together an official search party. 

You struggled for a solid fourth item, but by then you were just reaching the outpost. It was loud and dirty and unlike anything you’d ever been to before. No one gave you a second glance, which you were grateful for. As you made your way through the many stalls you were growing more and more antsy, none of the people you saw being Poe. 

Nearly two hours had passed and you had thoroughly walked through the entirety of the outpost, not that there was much, at least ten times. Just as you were about to turn around and head back to the ship, a familiar shade of orange and beeping caught your attention. You almost fell to your knees in relief when you saw BB-8. Except he wasn’t with Poe, but rather a...scavenger girl? It was like BB-8 could feel your eyes on him, because he turned around to look at you and began beeping excitedly. The girl beside him turned to face you as well and without thinking you got a better grip on your staff and ran at her. 

The girl’s face morphed in confusion, but quickly put together what was happening and got her own staff into position, giving you one last look before she turned and started to run as well. Her hesitation and your own speed meant you easily caught up, swiping at her legs which sent her topping down. She hit the sand hard, not letting it stop her as she rolled to her back and instinctively pushed her staff upwards, expecting yours to come down. 

What she definitely didn’t expect was the electrical end of your staff, on and buzzing, pointed straight at her face. 

“You stole this droid.” You hissed. 

Before she had time to respond, BB-8 was rolling up to the two of you, beeping like hell. It was a funny mix of ‘I’m so excited to see you’ and ‘please don’t hurt this girl’ and ‘I’ve got so many stories to tell you’ and ‘I promise this girl did not steal me’ and other random beeps. He was talking so fast and your head was still clouded with adrenaline, so it took you longer to process what BB just said. As soon as you realized the girl hadn’t just not stolen him, but rather saved him, you turned the electrical current off and pulled your staff away from her face. 

You stuck your hand out, glad she was unable to see the look of pure embarrassment on your face. “I um, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have chased you like that, I just saw BB and…,” you trailed off, unsure of how to explain yourself. 

Luckily, the girl grasped your hand and lifted herself off the ground. “I would’ve done the same, I think.” She replied, giving you a tentative smile. 

You still had so many questions unanswered, but before you could say anything BB-8 started beeping like crazy again; saying something about how he could see a man up ahead-staring at the three of you-, that was wearing his master’s, Poe’s, jacket. 

Not bothering to apply any of the lessons you had just learned from storming the girl, you switched the electrical end of your staff back on. A quick look at the girl told you she had the same idea, both of you getting better grips on your staffs. Both of you took off in a sprint towards the man and you  almost  felt bad for him- you were clearly taking him by surprise, the way his eyes widened like saucers-, but he was wearing Poe’s jacket. 

His attempt at escaping was short-lived. The girl swung out in front of him, shoving him to the ground- quite similar to what you just did to her-, and you quickly took up the rear, positioning the electrical end right at his throat.  

Everyone was breathing heavily, no one had expected to do so much running today. You took a moment to examine this guy and that’s when it hit you, FN-2187, a stormtrooper was wearing Poe’s jacket and you could’ve sworn you saw red. You pressed the tip of your staff to his chest, not enough to seriously hurt him, but enough to send a shock through his body. 

“I’m only going to ask once,” you started, glaring up at him from behind the mask, “where, did you, get that jacket?” Punctuating each pause with the lightest of electrical taps. 

“Ow! Ow! Quit that! I’ve had a pretty messed up day, alright? I’d appreciate it if you stopped accusing me-” 

“Liar!” You yelled, putting the end back in his face. “You stole it from his master,” you said, tilting your head towards BB-8 who was beeping in agreement, “I’ll give you one more chance to answer honestly.” 

FN-2187 raised his hands up in surrender. You studied his face for a moment, searching for any signs of deception; there weren't any, but that explained nothing. “I swear! I swear, his name is Poe. That’s right? Poe Dameron.” 

At the sound of Poe’s name your shoulders relaxed a little bit, but the relaxation was short lived as you FN-2187 continued. 

“He was captured by the First Order.” 

No. 

“I helped him escape okay, but we crashed a little further out,” FN-2187 was silent for a moment, “Poe didn’t make it.” 

No No No No No No No No No. 

“You’re…, you’re lying.” You said angrily, unable to accept that as truth. When all FN-2187 did was give you a look full of  pity, you hit the switch on your staff, pulling it back to your body. “You’re lying…” You repeated, much weaker this time, glad that they were unable to see the tears forming behind the mask. 

“I’m sorry. I really am.” FN-2187 said quietly, in a voice that was just the right amount of sincere to be true. 

Out of the corner of your eye you saw BB-8 start to roll away, you couldn’t let him get lost now. “If you even, think, about running away while I go get the droid, you won’t live to see another day.” You threatened, quickly turning on your heel to go catch up with BB. 

In your absence, the girl and FN-2187 were both still quite winded. At least you had gone into the outpost knowing there was potential for action, the two of them were completely caught off guard. 

“Are you with the Resistance too then?” The girl asked. 

A fleeting look of confusion appeared on FN-2187’s face before he jumped up and nodded. “Yes, yes I am. I am part of the Resistance. A Resistance member.” 

“I’ve never met a real Resistance member before. And now in one day, I’ve met two.” The girl replied, with a gentle smile on her face. 

By the time you managed to get BB and ‘drag’ him back to where the other two were standing, they had finished their conversation. FN-2187 tensed up when you reappeared, something you were okay with, not wanting him to feel too comfortable around you. 

No one had time to say anything before the sound of blaster fire diverted all of your attentions. A quick look up at the sky confirmed your one of your worst fears, the First Order was here. FN-2187 grabbed both of your hands and started pulling.

“Don’t grab my hand!” You and the girl both shouted out, but running alongside him anyway. The three of you weaved your way out of the Outpost, doing your best to avoid the unrelenting fire of bullets and bomber shots the Order was raining down on you. 

“They’re gunning for me!” FN-2187 screamed, causing you to roll your eyes. 

“They’re gunning for all of us, especially the droid. Now keep up!” You yelled back. It didn’t take much mental strain to understand that if Poe had really been captured and had really crashed on Jakku after escaping, that the Order would’ve followed him here. Your feet pounded the sand, pushing yourself ahead of FN. 

“We can’t outrun them!” FN-2187 called out from behind you. 

The girl was ahead of you and she pointed out towards a quad jumper. “We might! In that quad jumper.” All of you running towards it as fast as you could. 

Of course, as soon as the words left her lips, the TIE fighter tailing you blew the thing to smithereens. All three of you seemed to pause for a moment before the girl started running towards a hunk of,- oh my god was that the Millenium Falcon-  junk to her left. 

“Hey! We still need a pilot!” FN-2187 screamed, still running a few paces behind you. 

“I can pilot anything!” You yelled out, not bothering to look at him over your shoulder. The three of you, plus BB, raced up the walkway of the ship, slamming the door shut behind you. 

“Gunning position is down there.” Rey said hurriedly, pointing at a set of stairs. She didn’t look back as she rushed ahead to the pilots seat. 

Just as FN-2187 got ready to mount the stairs you grabbed him by the back of Poe’s jacket and yanked him around to face you. 

“Not the time-”

“If you do anything down there to make me believe you’re still working for them, FN-2187, I won’t hesitate to come down here and gouge your eyeballs out myself.” You spat, relishing in the way his eyes widened at the use of his official call number. You didn’t give him the chance to reply, just let go of his jacket and made your way to the front of the ship to co-pilot. 

The girl was already pulling the ship into the air by the time you made it up there. You wasted no time, quickly throwing yourself into the chair beside her. Both of you fumbled to pull on headsets as you worked the controls. “Stay low.” You ordered. 

She gave you a confused look. “What?” 

“Stay low,” you said more urgently, “it confuses their tracking.” 

The girl went low and you were glad you were strapped in. You didn’t expect the smoothest of rides, but it was certainly  jerky . 

The constant sound and feel of blaster shots hitting the exterior of the ship were making it difficult to focus. “What are you doing down there!” You screamed into the headset. “Shoot back!” 

“I’m trying,” FN screamed back up, “are the shields up?” 

You blindly reached over and smacked a button. “Yes! Now shoot !” You yelled. 

Where FN-2187 was lacking, the girl was making up for it tenfold with her piloting ability; this girl was good. Internally, you knew you were being unreasonably hard on him; it wasn’t so far fetched to believe that someone would defect from the Order, hell you defected- even if it wasn’t necessarily your choice-, and your position and relationship to the Order had been much more intimate and substantial than a ‘trooper. Pushing those thoughts to the back of your head, you focused on helping the girl pilot the ship. The two of you working in unison to attempt to shake the TIE’s trailing you.

“Hold on!” She shouted and in the background you could hear FN asking what for. The girl pulled on the steering hard and you went veering to the right before she rolled the ship around, giving FN the perfect shot at the last TIE. You internally promised yourself, that if he missed this fighter you’d be fulfilling your eye gouging promise. Luckily for all of you, but especially FN-2187, he blew the TIE fighter right out of the sky. 

“Wooo!” In the rush of the moment, you weren’t exactly sure who was whooping and hollering, it might as well have been all of you. 

Once you felt the ship was out of imminent danger and safely gliding through space, you relaxed back into your seat. Looking over at the girl you smiled, even though she couldn't see it, you hoped she was able to read the emotion from your eyes. You think she could, by the way she smiled real big back at you. 

She stuck her hand out and said, “My name is Rey. The guy downstairs said he’s Finn and he’s with the Resistance too.” 

-----

a/n - im having so much fun with this yall dont even know. likes/replies/reblogs always appreciated and if youd like to be tagged just ask! 

taglist: @egguuuu​ @sunflowersandotherthings​ @clarizuliani10​ @kylorendrip​

no permission is given to copy or republish my writing on any other platform or account. if you see this story outside of my blog or my ao3 it is stolen work. i do not own nor claim to own star wars or any of the character involved in it. 

[seriouslyblacklikemysoul]

Like her - Bucky Barnes

Hello!! I did a thing... I big oops... I have no idea where this is going but honestly... gosh, Bucky is finally given the spotlight! Yes, I am talking about that trailer.  So, I guess bear with me? From what I feel, this is going to be ... quite the journey. Spoilers, if I accidentally am on to something? MASTERLIST Word Count~ 2k.  If you want to be tagged or you have an idea about this, please let me know!  Love you all! 

      Nothing made sense anymore. The world seemed to be upside down and he couldn’t find an anchor to hold on to. A thousand thoughts on his mind, past and future blurred into a chaotic present. He had found a still moment in the universe, after his best friend retired and that was the only way he could cope with the ever-changing situation.   

         He had believed that a new beginning was all that he needed; but before he could begin, he had to be free of his past and that he simply could not do. Working with Wilson was not his cup of tea, either. He was searching for meaning but maybe fulfillment wasn’t about what he had already done, maybe it was about the things he hadn’t and that was worse.                            It was simple mission; keep an eye on a questionable individual. Well, at least, that was what the files told him. Girl, early twenties, not a very interesting life – to him, at least, he thought. She might have loved studying and serving coffee to people she didn’t know just so she could earn her living. And a clue that linked her to an old enemy – Zemo. No one knew what their relationship was, or even if there was any. They had been able to pick up a single message sent from her phone to an unknown number that it was later identified as Zemo’s.                He was standing outside the coffee shop she was working, not knowing if he would be able to identify her; they only had a blurry picture of her – another clue that she was onto something as she was avoiding to be seen. Not that he could blame her for that. If she was working with the man that put him trough all of that a couple of years ago, he didn’t know if he would hand her over or…                    He walked inside, trying to appear as relaxed and nonchalant as possible, knowing that he would be awkward anyway. Sam could have done this, he thought, rolling his eyes at that. It was quite busy, actually, and the atmosphere was cozier than what he had expected. And so, he found the table that furthest away but had a good angle-view to keep an eye on the personnel and sat down. He scanned the place but there was no trace of the girl from the picture. He was pretending to read the menu so no one would come soon to take his order.                He was about to stand up and leave, having spent almost half an hour being a jerk and not ordering a thing, when a soft tornado rushed through the front door. He was left gawking at her for a moment and then quickly shook it off. She murmured an apology to her colleagues but they just smiled at her, as if they knew why she was late. He was able to distinct two words: application, problems. He cleared his throat and not a moment later, there she was.            “Hello! What can I get you?” she politely asked him, ready to take his order, not exactly looking at him. Whatever she was previously doing, affected her still. He was caught by surprise, because he actually never looked at the menu.                    “An americano and um, what do you suggest?” he had to act normal, he thought again. Maybe channel his inner long-lost self. She finally looked at him, with a questioning smile on her face. The picture they had was old and did not do her any justice.                “Our sour lemon bars are amazing” she informed him after a second of brainstorming. Sour, huh? He noticed her body language – she truly didn’t know who he was. Then again, without his long hair and a visible metal arm, not many people could recognize him. He nodded in agreement and she left.                    She was in a pretty bad mood. The application she had sent to the university was still not accepted, her computer broke down, she was barely making it by and she was tired having had zero sleep the night before, tormented by nightmares. She handed the order to Jackie and sat down, behind the bar. While Jackie was preparing everything, she was making herself a cup of coffee.                    “He is cute” she heard – and so did he, thanks to his enhanced senses. He was not used to being called cute or anything like that. Maybe an older version of him was pretty good with women – this one, not so much. He wasn’t bad, unlike Steve, but … something wasn’t there anymore.           She looked at him, for a split second before gulping her coffee down.                  “Better you than me” she whispered. The other girl was shocked.            “What happened?” she asked her, a ton of concern laced her voice and that captured his attention.              “I don’t know what to do” she said, almost desperate. As his lemon bars were being transferred to a beautiful plate, Jackie asked the one-million-dollar question.          “What about that guy? Helmut?”. That was all Bucky needed to add her to his suspect list – well, to cross off everyone else but her, really.            “Hasn’t delivered and I am running out of time” she murmured in fear of being heard. She was right to be afraid of that, he did eavesdrop. Bucky hoped that she would be the one to bring his coffee but unfortunately, another waiter came.                    For the better part of an hour, he tried to catch anything of importance, having already informed Sam. But there was nothing. She just did her job. Deciding that it was better to leave in order not to attract any kind of unwanted attention, he left the money on the table and walked out of the place, faster than he would have liked.            Who was she?        

           It had been pretty hard for her, lately. That roughly translated into more than ten years. She was used to being treated badly by life but she was standing right on the edge and she had nothing to grab onto to stop her fall. As long as she could remember, she was alone. The first person she had met was a grim old lady, telling her to stop crying otherwise the Sinnerman was going to eat her. Once she was at an age, she could understand what was happening, she was made aware she had no family – that wanted her, anyway – and that was why she had ended up there. It more of a torture-place than an orphanage.                    By the age of fifteen, she had achieved an early high school graduation, and her caretakers saw that she didn’t have the potentials to become the next prodigy, no matter the hard work. Being fifteen and on the streets was something she wished on nobody. She was smart, though – she got a job and soon was able to afford her own place. It was small but it was all she needed. A roof over her head, a bed and a shower.              Lately, things were just not easy. She hadn’t been paid for at least four months and she had no cushion of money to fall onto. Her landlord would kick her out any minute now, and she had no backup plan. Her study application hadn’t panned out yet and when a stranger reached her, promising her a ton of cash and a name, she didn’t think twice.            When she agreed to hack into a couple of databases, she had no idea who that person was. Only that he knew her parents and was willing to pay. That was all she needed, really. Little did she know, she was helping a criminal to get out of a life-long sentence. She tried to back away, but a single threat was more than enough to persuade her. She wasn’t used to knives being that close to her neck.            She had done her part, even though she regretted it, but he had still to deliver and she had no other option. She would stay awake, thinking why her? Out of all the hackers in the world, why her?            “Don’t worry! They’ll choose you, they would be stupid not to” Jackie told her, as she was ready to leave. She laughed at that.              “I am not gonna pay them, I am the one asking them for a fund. They would be stupid if they did choose me!” she explained again, waving her goodbye. She was closing up the place today. She didn’t mind. The later she got back to her place, the smaller the chances to meet her landlord. She liked working alone, being alone. That was why she had it easier than the other girls back in the day.  They struggled keeping up with the classes, the training, the killing. She did her job, and got on with her life. Well, at least until she was kicked out.                Placing the last cups back on their self, she heard the door opening and closing – footsteps were approaching her.                “I’m sorry, we’re closed” she chimed, as she turned around. That guy again. Yeah, alright, he was cute but her mind was warning her. He smiled – but it was forced and she saw it. Something wasn’t right.                  “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t see any sign” he said and it was true, she hadn’t put on the closed sign. He knew that she knew – but instead of making a run for it, she played along. Sam was waiting outside, car ready.            “Oh, yeah, that’s my bad” she calmly informed him, letting her towel down and picking up the sing to hang, moving slowly through the space. He recognized her moves but it couldn’t be. Her moves were familiar but not fully known. He was closing in. After a rather long eye-contact, she threw the metal sign at him, aiming his exposed neck, almost cutting him. She was strong.              All it took was two steps and they were engaged in a full-blown combat. He threw up his forearms like an offensive lineman blocking a defensive back, but she slipped to the side, pushed his elbow down and away, caught his head, and rolled him into the floor. Not even a second later, Bucky threw her off of him and was on his feet, watching her rush toward him in slow motion. He reached under his shirt even as he pushed past the tables. She did not try to stop the gun; she rolled his hand under his wrist, drove his arm over and back, and pulled him backward and down. She had the gun before he slammed into the floor, and was pointing it at him.              She wasn’t afraid to use it, and he was almost scared by the look on her face. He had seen that look before. He tackled her, grabbed her wrist with his right hand and held the gun hand against her chest, while he placed his left arm tightly around her neck. She headbutted him but neither flinched.              Before she could do anything, Sam placed a cloth on her mouth and nose and knocked her out.              “Took you long enough” he mused at an annoyed Bucky. He rolled his eyes at him, still very much confused as to why she knew those moves.                “I think she was trained for the Black Widow program” he let on, as he picked her up while Sam made everything to look as if nothing had happened. He even closed up the place.                    Bucky placed her on the backseat of the car. She wasn’t a Black Widow, yet her fighting style…                    “Who is she?” Sam asked as they were driving away. 

[thinkingimmensely]

Okay. IV

Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3

A/N: I have a sudden burst in inspiration and finally finished this chapter! Here’s to the hope this streak continues *crosses fingers*. I know it’s been forever and IDK if you guys still read this but I’m still trying my best to update as soon as I can, haha. I have also been reading fanfics again, thus a boost in creative juice.

Stay safe in these trying times everyone!

MATERLIST

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything from the Potterverse!

___________________

“Are you mental? What in the world were you doing back there?” You yelled as your friend laid in the sofa nonchalantly, throwing a ball up in the air and catching it as it fell back down, as if without a care in the world. You flicked your wand at the ball and it catapulted itself to the other side of the room before Sirius could even catch it again.  “Listen to me!”

“What’s the point?” He groaned and turned his back to you.  

You flicked your wand towards him and made him roll over and fall off the couch. “That was extremely rash. Careless and impatient of you.” You scolded as your friend rubbed his back in pain. “They changed the portrait,” you informed him as you ran a hand through your hair, “that annoying Sir Cadogan, still ranting on and on about knighthood I reckon.”  

“Well, you didn’t have any other brilliant idea, did you? Besides, what were you doing there in the first place?” He finally asked. When he entered the house hours ago after his failed attempt on getting inside the Gryffindor common room, he was welcomed by darkness and a letter from Dumbledore in the counter you left. It was nearly 4AM and you just arrived a few minutes ago.

“You read the letter, didn’t you? Dumbledore invited me, plus, I wanted to see Harry.” You mumbled the last part.  

Sirius smirked and approached you as you took a seat. “Did they all have their knickers in a twist?” He asked, his voice laced with mischief, as if he was actually proud with the reckless stunt he pulled.  

You couldn’t help but let out a snort, typical Black and his love to get into different heart-stopping situations. That was where he and Remus differed- Remus was your calm, and Sirius was like a whirlwind bent on destroying everything he passed through. Speaking of Remus, you still couldn’t get your meeting off of your mind, and your heart still picked up its pace every time you thought about it even though it started off the wrong foot.  

You kind of felt guilty with lying, even though what you said wasn’t technically a lie. Kind of. “Next time you try to go in, maybe try learning the password first, yeah? There’s a brilliant idea for you.” You murmured, not caring if your friend heard you or not.  

Talk around town was filled with nothing but Sirius Black the next few days. The theories on how he got in into Hogwarts became wilder and wilder that you heard a young Hufflepuff student babble on to anyone who would listen that Sirius could turn into a flowering shrub. Sirius had laughed for ten minutes straight at that. You became busier as well- McGonagall strode in one day asking to speak to you privately.

“Dumbledore has requested your presence in his office any time you are available.”  

You wiped your hands on your apron, giving your old professor a questioning look. “Um, you can tell him that I’ll be there in a few minutes then, just let me tell Madam Rosmerta-” You were about to head back inside before McGonagall cut you off.

“Actually,” She started and you stopped on your tracks and turned back to her, “I also have a request if it wouldn’t be too much for you.”

“Yes?”

She let out a sigh, “Well, I believe you are aware that Harry Potter is a Seeker in the Quidditch team?” You nodded dumbly, having no idea where this conversation was going. “Well, their first match is on Saturday and the students want to train during the evening. I have already asked Madam Hooch to oversee their sessions, but it would put me more at ease if you were there as well. For extra protection, especially since there is no sign of Black yet.”  

You blinked, processing everything she just said. She was basically asking you to keep an eye on your godson- You broke out into a smile, bobbing your head immediately, “Of course!” You stopped and regained your composure when McGonagall raised a brow at you, “I mean, yes, it’s no problem at all Professor; I’ll head to the Quidditch field every time I finish here then.”

McGonagall let out one of her rare smiles and nodded at you, she then told you she would be waiting for you so you could go to the castle together. Luckily for you, Madam Rosmerta had no qualms about you leaving early today so you left without much hassle and you and McGonagall headed to Hogwarts, making small talk here and there.

When you came here with Sirius, you didn’t expect to be going in and out of the school so much; especially since you’ve been laying low for the past ten years, leaving the Ministry and all that. “I believe you know your way from here.” McGonagall told you as you entered the castle, you nodded absentmindedly so she left you in the hall. 

The students stole glances at you as they passed by, some surely recognizing you from the Halloween feast. You stuffed your hands inside the pockets of your coat and made your way up the numerous staircases until you reached the familiar corridor that led to the Headmaster’s office.

You stood outside entrance covered by the large and ugly stone gargoyle. You were at a lost since McGonagall never mentioned the password to you. So how were you going to go inside now? Just before you turned on your heels to find someone who could get you in, the pathway opened as Remus came out looking rather under the weather. He stopped on his tracks when he saw you; he cleared his throat and fixed his tie. “Y/N” He tiredly greeted.

“Remus.” You answered with a nod. The both of you stood there awkwardly, not knowing what to talk about. You glanced behind him, at the stairway to the office, “Um, is Dumbledore available?”  

Remus turned and glanced at stairs as well, then looked at you again, “Uh- yes, yes he is, we just finished our discussion and he doesn’t have an audience now so...” He trailed off.

“Okay, I guess I should head in then.” You mumbled and walked past him before turning back, “Take care of yourself okay?” You told him. He gave you a curt nod before walking away, so you went on to your business.  

Sirius paced back and forth in the little house you shared. “Honestly, please sit down. You’re making me dizzy with all the pacing. It’s not good for the floorboards.” You snapped. He sat down next to you in the sofa and looked at you seriously. Despite the rather upbeat music that played from the radio in the corner, the room had a rather glum atmosphere.  

“Dumbledore wants you to-”  

“To patrol Hogsmeade and Hogwarts a couple of times in a week. Report to him if I find anything suspicious, or I see any clues where you might be.” You finished.

Sirius furrowed his brows, “But why? You’re not an Auror anymore, you don’t have to do shit for them.” He snarled. Because what ever did Dumbledore did for any of them when the Potters died? He gave Harry to those god-awful Muggles and hadn’t even tried to give a fair trial to Sirius.  

You looked up to your Headmaster, you always had, but sometimes... sometimes his actions frustrated the hell out of you. Sirius took your hands in his when he noticed your visibly upset face. “I shouldn’t have brought you here with me. I think they’re trying to get you back into their fold.”  

“Sirius, you must be forgetting something,” You gave him a bitter smile, “They’re not the enemy here.” Sirius sighed and dropped his head to your joined hands. You freed one and ran it through his black locks. “Besides, this just means I get to see Harry more often, and maybe help you if the situation requires it.” You smiled at the thought.  

“You’ll get to see Moony-” he mentioned, “You’re bloody miserable every time you see him again, I know you, when you came back after the feast and today, after that meeting with Dumbledore, you’ve been lost in thought. You still love him, don’t you?” He sat straight again and looked at you straight in the eye. “I don’t want to see you die a little inside every single time.”

Your smile faltered; you hadn’t realized that Sirius noticed. You thought you were being discreet about it. “I...” You inhaled sharply, “I never stopped.” You admitted for the first time, letting out a defeated breath. Your eyes watered as you tried to keep your emotions in check whenever Remus was the topic of your conversation. Sirius placed a warm hand on your cheek and wiped a stray tear away.  

“Moony’s a total git for letting you go.” He commented, you let out a dry laugh at that and he grinned. “C’mere” He pulled you up from the couch and held your hands, a playful glint in his eyes as he swayed to a different, but still upbeat song from the radio. He looked rather idiotic as he moved left to right in what could be called an impromptu dance. You laughed as he pulled you close and twirled you around at random moments, it was as if your worries and your hurt was being washed away and the once gloomy house was filled with laughter for the first time since you’ve been there. Remus, Peter, Dumbledore and the Dementors were faraway thoughts at that very moment because all you could focus on was your best friend who was swaying with you clumsily to a Muggle song the both of you didn’t even know the title of.  

As the song neared its end, your head leaned on his neck as he held you close, slowly turning with your hands still clasped together, relishing in the company and comfort the two of you gave to each other, but reality was slowly seeping back in by then and you stopped when the song ended. You pulled away from him; the two of you shared a look as static played in the background before you retreated to your bedroom, shutting the door softly behind you.  

___________________

Permanent Taglist:

@coffeeismylife28 , @oreofrappiewithblueberry

[translations-by-aiimee]

Dig a Grave to Dig Out a Ghost - Chapter 23

Original Title: 挖坟挖出鬼

Genres: Drama, Horror, Mystery, Supernatural, Yaoi

This translation is based on multiple MTLs and my own limited knowledge of Chinese characters. If I have made any egregious mistakes, please let me know.

Chapter Index

Chapter 23 - Child Ghost

Twenty minutes later, each of the three hooligans sat on the bench in the hospital corridor in a daze, each clutching a bottle of fresh orange juice. The nurse had just scolded them for disturbing the rest of the patients in the surrounding rooms, and they all looked a little bit ashamed. A-Yan's face had some colour brought back. After drinking a few sips of the drink, he calmly said: "I c-can't exorcise it completely. I can only figure out the source of this thing. Maybe it's a good thing that it's harder to expel."

Lin Yan asked what he meant, and the little Daoist priest explained: “As the saying goes, 'He who never wrongs others does not fear the knock in the night*.' Although this girl is weak from her illness, there must be other reasons why, out of so many other patients, this thing chose her. If we can find the reason, then maybe it will leave by itself."

*(T/N: 不做亏心事，不怕鬼敲门 - means if you've done nothing wrong, you don't have to worry about any retributions.)

"It-It keeps repeating 'Why haven't you come yet?' It may be a wandering spirit who hasn't fulfilled his dying wish. His Yin energy is very weak. He probably died not that long ago."

Lin Yan's heart skipped a beat. He suddenly thought of Xiao Yu, and couldn't help but reveal his recent doubts to the little Daoist priest. After a long while, he turned his head and looked at the ghost next to him, and whispered: "Last time, I was only concerned about getting rid of him. I never asked him anything."

A-Yan sat curled up in the chair and listened to Lin Yan while gnawing on the cap of the orange juice bottle. He looked like a kitten. He jolted up and said: "Ghosts are divided into different categories. Today, the one here can only manifest by attaching itself to a living person and it will disappear once that person dies. However, the one that follows you is very, very strong."

A-Yan continued: "A ghost has no form at first, but if the soul is resentful and the body is buried in a place where the atmosphere has heavy negative energy, it's very likely to turn into a powerful ghost. A ghost will cultivate for a hundred years with a phantom body and, after a long time, it will develop a real body. When they have a real body, they don’t have to resort to 'bump around' like today, and they can even move around in the daytime without fear of Yang energy. They aren't so much ghosts as they are demons or animals." A-Yan clenched his fingers: " The most difficult evil spirit to deal with is known as the true body of the ten thousand clans. It requires special formations, plus needs to be done at the right time and place, so there's not much room for error. Once a part of the process goes wrong, the exorcist is likely to be drowned by the energy, go insane and instead be harmed by the evil spirit."

"L-Last time the formation was set up, Master made a fake one to fool the ghost, and he found the gap in time he needed. Otherwise, if you wanted to eliminate him, I'm afraid that you would have to gather more than fifteen boys in a Mandarin Duck Formation to have any hope." A-Yan suddenly gave Lin Yan a strange smile: "That was because he had just re-entered the world and was still confused when we tricked him. Now, I'm afraid. . . Brother Lin Yan, at this point, he should have already remembered something, right?"

Lin Yan thought back on all the things that happened at the lecture and the ghost's increasingly human-like behaviour. He was secretly surprised; was this ghost really recovering his memory? He nodded and replied, "He told me lots of things the day of the lecture. He can talk, just not very much."

A-Yan smiled nervously: "Y-Your four-pillar pure Yin is the most suitable alignment to feed ghosts. The longer he follows you, the more physical he'll become, and the more he'll remember."

"But. . ." A-Yan looked into the distance with a glaze in his eyes, his fingers tightly squeezed the drink bottle. He turned back and grinned at Lin Yan: "Be very careful."

"All I can say is that every action has a reaction, and I can't help you with anything at that point."

He didn’t know why, but Lin Yan felt that the way the little Daoist priest spoke seemed to imply something. Feeding ghosts. . . Lin Yan harshly inhaled the hospital’s air mixed with the smell of disinfectant and frowned. “Let's not talk about it. We have to save A-Zhou's cousin first and figure out the reason for the possession. Do you have to find out who the deceased is first?"

A-Yan nodded. Yin Zhou held his glasses, a little confused: "We don't have much time left. Dozens of people die in hospitals every month. We don't have time to go through each of them individually."

Lin Yan sighed: "That's no other option. Go and pull up the records of everyone who's died recently in the hospital. Maybe there's a clue somewhere."

After all, there were several people now that were exhausted from the attempted exorcism, paralyzed on the bench and not wanting to move. Lin Yan discreetly adjusted his position. Xiao Yu suddenly walked over to him, squatted down and grabbed his knees with both hands.

Lin Yan turned his face and snorted. "Weren't you ignoring me?"

Xiao Yu didn't answer. He gently lowered his head and put the side of his face on Lin Yan's knees, long hair cascading behind him like a waterfall. Lin Yan instinctively wanted to reach out his hand to touch his head, then he thought that he was probably still angry, so he put on an indifferent air and cold expression, not acknowledging him.

After a while, Xiao Yu raised his head. He pressed his hands firmly against Lin Yan's legs, stood up, turned and walked further down the corridor.

"Where are you going?" Lin Yan asked in a low voice. Seeing that he didn't answer, he had to follow a few steps behind. Xiao Yu quietly returned to the door of Xiao Yang's room and went straight through the door panel. Lin Yan was full of doubts. Peeking carefully through the door glass, he saw that Xiao Yang's mother was tired from crying and was sitting on the side of the bed, dozing off with her arms propping up her forehead. The girl, on the other hand, waited by the window again in the same manner as when Lin Yan had first arrived.

Xiao Yu walked to the girl's back and patted her shoulder lightly. What happened next left Lin Yan dumbfounded. The girl with her rolled-back eyes turned around and quietly "looked" at Xiao Yu, showing a normal human on her face for the first time. The corners of her mouth were pulled downward, a look of aggravation painted clearly on her face. Xiao Yu was tall, so he simply squatted in front of the girl and stroked her hair very softly. They were talking, and Lin Yan's eyes widened. Although he could not hear them, their expressions and slightly moving lips convinced him that they were indeed communicating in a language he didn't understand.

The little Daoist priest and Yin Zhou also followed at this time. They curiously holding the windowpane and looking in. They couldn't help but be shocked by the girl's appearance now.

"She's talking to herself?" Yin Zhou was surprised: "What's she saying?"

"Mortuary language." The little Daoist said in a deep voice. "The language used in ancient rituals to communicate with the dead."

Lin Yan looked at the harmonious picture in the room, unconsciously picking at the crack of the door. He grit his teeth and indignantly thought you're Xiao Yu. At home, you're fierce and want to kill me, yet you go talk to a young girl with such a tender look. You just look at such a pretty young girl that I don’t want to let it go. Zhu Xi's Neo-Confucianist teachings have really gone to the dogs. It’s useless for you to think about it. I decided ages ago. When she's a few years older, I'll take her to watch movies and visit the amusement park. Let's see what you can do. . .

"Hey? Are you going to follow him inside?" Yin Zhou patted Lin Yan on his shoulder. Lin Yan had been distracted internally cursing Xiao Yu, and he was so frightened that the hairs on his neck stood on end.

"Holy shit, when did you get here? Were you trying to scare me to death by keeping quiet?!" Lin Yan grumbled, clutching his heart.

"Did you really not hear me talking so loudly before?!" Yin Zhou said in surprise: ". . . Why are you blushing?"

A-Yan smiled and gave Lin Yan a deep look, not making a sound.

The conversation in the room seemed to be over. Xiao Yu stood up. He leaned over and rubbed the top of the girl's head and walked out. Xiao Yang reluctantly turned and stood by the window again. Lin Yan gritted his teeth and waited outside. He internally decided he wouldn't fall for any more of his tricks considering he seemed to do them with anyone. . .

Xiao Yu had already returned to stand in front of him while he was distracted. Lin Yan turned his face away from him in anger, but Xiao Yu didn't care. He took out the memo and the soft-tip fountain pen Lin Yan had bought from his pocket and began to write.

"Jesus fucking Christ!" Yin Zhou looked at the pen and paper hanging in the air and stared in shock.

Xiao Yu shoved the note into Lin Yan's hand, then retreated to stand behind him. Lin Yan looked down. The light green note had two lines written on it. The first line was a series of capitalized numbers: "Three-Five-One-Zero-Zero-Four." The second line was a sentence: "He's waiting for his father."

"Father?" Yin Zhou looked at the words on the note and suddenly clapped his hands: "Hey, I got it, no wonder it came to Xiao Yang. Xiao Yang's mother is a single parent. My uncle passed away last year. I came to the hospital to watch her overnight last week and heard her say she missed her dad and it felt like he was still there with her. . . Then what does that row of numbers mean?"

Lin Yan was also puzzled holding the note. When he asked Xiao Yu, he shook his head and didn't speak. Lin Yan couldn't help muttering, "What the hell? You touched her head and smiled for a long time without asking anything. . . It’s not because the little girl looks good..."

"A g-ghost's memories are incomplete. They can only remember what they want. It would be nice if they can remember the numbers." A-Yan suddenly opened his mouth, his eyes sharply focused towards Lin Yan. Lin Yan's face grew hot, and he hurriedly lowered his head to cover it up. He explained to him that he was searching for people, why did his mind take such a strange turn. . .

That being said, why did he always get distracted by a dead person? This isn't going to work, no. Lin Yan secretly squeezed his fist.

Yin Zhou saw that the two of them were acting strangely. He crossed his hands behind his head and looked around in the corridor. When he saw the computer in front of the nurse on duty at the staircase, his eyes suddenly lit up, and he whistled frivolously: "Look, dude. Time for some fun."

With Lin Yan's girl-pleasing good looks and Yin Zhou's series of honeyed compliments, the three stooges quickly got their hands on the nurse's sister's computer. Yin Zhou stared at the screen intently. His fingers flew across the keyboard and the mouse clicked rapidly. After 15 minutes, the corners of his mouth stretched upward. His whole body suddenly leaned back in the swivel chair. He squinted his eyes and exclaimed: "Done. Turns out the info comes from this hospital. Makes it much more convenient not having to check other systems."

Lin Yan leaned in front of the computer, and the homepage showed: "351004, Zhou Jintian, male, 11 years old, died on May 11. Cause of death: internal organ rupture causing extensive abdominal hemorrhaging." A scanned copy of the body claim form was attached below. In the lower right corner where the family members signed, the family name was written in two large characters: "Zhou Mo" with a small red seal next to it.

"From the deceased's information from the database, this line of numbers is the bed number from the morgue." Yin Zhou touched his head: "This ghost is a child. No wonder he's standing by the window all the time, waiting for his father to pick him up from school."

Lin Yan took a picture of the page with his phone. He smiled and pushed the back of Yin Zhou's head: "Good job."

At the spicy and sour noodle shop across from the hospital.

Lin Yan always disliked eating near hospitals. He always feels that there were grieving patients’ families and infectious bacteria floating everywhere, but these spicy and sour noodles were particularly famous. Lin Yan drove the car for a while, and after a lengthy internal struggle, he turned back. Lin Yan scooped a spoonful of spicy soup and was satisfied that a delicious dinner was definitely worth it.

The little Daoist priest left for a shift in the restaurant where he worked. Yin Zhou stayed in the hospital to see the patient and verify the information. Lin Yan sat alone at the snack bar, a greasy orange plastic table with two bowls of spicy and sour noodles in front of him. One was placed in front of him, and the other was pushed to the opposite side. The "person" only he could see was sitting in the opposite chair with his face turned sideways in a daze. It seems that the ghost really didn't need to eat. Lin Yan sighed and asked in a low voice: "You don't eat or sleep, you follow me every day, aren't you tired?"

Xiao Yu ignored him. His slender fingers propped up his chin, and the outline of his side face looked very beautiful in the dimming daylight. The table was near the window, and the warm yellow halo of the street lamp brushed over the bridge of his nose. His skin looked as fine as porcelain. It felt like porcelain too, icy cold.

Things were still awkward.

"Excuse me, can I borrow the chair? We don't have enough." A childish male voice sounded and Lin Yan raised his head. A boy dressed as a high school student was holding the back of Xiao Yu's chair. He saw Lin Yan looked confused and pointed to the boys and girls chatting at a large table next door. The girls were wearing heavy makeup, the boys wearing ear studs, their school uniforms covered in black and blue pen doodles. There were so many people in the store that they were missing several chairs.

"Someone's using it." Lin Yan replied quietly.

"I know you've been sitting here for a while, no one's there." The boy was unyielding.

"If I say someone's there, someone's there, and if they aren't there now, they will be later." Lin Yan was a little impatient.

"Nutjob, it's just a chair, why so angry?" The boy muttered. Before leaving, he rolled his eyes at Lin Yan.

"Sorry." Lin Yan mumbled to the boy's back. He wasn't sure why. No one could see Xiao Yu, which always made him a little anxious. Lin Yan hesitated and for the first time took the initiative to reach out and touch Xiao Yu's statue-like fingers and whispered, "It's lonely, isn't it? Of all the people in the world, I'm the only one who can see you and I treat you badly."

[hogwartsfirebolt]

Hello there! I’m finally here with the third and last part of my favorite drarry fics I read in 2019!!! In the first part and in the second part I recommended 10 stories that made my year, and in this post I’m recommending 10 more that I absolutely adore. The banner art is by @spielzeugkaiser who was really kind and let me use this GORGEOUS piece, which you can (and totally should) reblog right here. Now, without further ado, here’s my,

FAVORITE FICS I READ IN 2019 PART THREE

1. The Company of The Rose - @lower-east-side - 31k - E - Six years after the war, Draco Malfoy has been restoring magical estates, while sidestepping his mother’s plots to marry him off and resolutely avoiding his issues. An advert in the Prophet takes him to a remote island, where a mysterious stranger has purchased an abandoned retreat. But the house has a few secrets of its own, and Draco will be forced to deal with not only his past, but the possibilities of the future.

We’re starting out this list with one of the last fics I read last year, and undoubtedly one of my absolute favorites. It’s gorgeous, sweet, breathtaking, a dozen other adjectives I can’t even think of. Stories that take place in beautiful, secluded places have a special place in my heart, and with a sure hand the author leads us through some of my favorite aspects of the trope: slow forming friendships, the feeling like they’re living in a world of their own as they get to know each other for who they really are, wonderful, delicious sexual tension keeping me breathless until the moment it snaps. The sex pollen element is also worked in a way I had never read before, with an exploration of what happens in the aftermath, addressing the issue of consent it creates. It’s just absolutely phenomenal, every single word of this. 

2. I could be wrong, I could be ready - @harryromper - 57k - M - At first Harry wonders if they’ve managed to destroy his vaults and are trying to tell him in the most oblique way possible. But when he turns the page he realises they’ve found a vault. A vault in the name of Lily and James Potter.The parchment trembles a little in Harry’s hand. He takes another gulp of wine. Harry Potter left Britain after the war and didn’t look back. Ten years later, when Gringotts discovers a vault containing his parents’ belongings—including their badly spell-damaged wedding rings—he’s forced to face up to friends and family who’ve grown in ways he could never imagine, a wizarding London rebuilt beyond his expectations, and the anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts. And if that wasn’t enough, there’s the entirely unforeseen problem of Draco Malfoy. Featuring pureblood wizarding traditions, ancestral magic, open mic nights, marriage equality, a diner in Brooklyn, and the return of Fleamont Potter.

Explorations of Harry as a character and his post-war issues never fail to hook me right in, and this beautiful fic takes us with him on a journey where he changes so, so much, and at first he does it by running away, thinking everything will remain unchanged as long as he doesn’t acknowledge it, which, of course, isn’t the case. We see him having to face his past, reconnecting with his friends, finding and coming to terms with pieces of himself that he forgot about, or never knew existed in the first place, and it’s absolutely exquisite. The tremendous amount of character development, the regaining of trust in himself and others, the way we can witness a love story blooming slow and steady, and see Harry grow into a confident, wonderful man. God, I have feels for this one, for every detail, every character and setting and emotion. It’s absolutely fantastic. 

3. What Real Thing? - @l0vegl0wsinthedark - 12k - E - They don’t cuddle, they don’t talk about their relationship (or lack thereof) and they certainly never fall asleep in each other’s arms.

This was my year of falling in love with l0ve’s fics. I had read some of her work before, but it was a few months ago that I found myself deep into her ao3 page, nearly weeping with the amount of emotion every single one of her stories stirs up within me. Picking just one was extremely difficult, but I finally chose this one, because the way she paints the relationship between Harry and Draco is masterful, their dynamic shifting and changing little by little, baby steps that become full-on sprints, single-minded and hesitant all at once, until we see them elbows deep into a feeling they don’t even know they’re experiencing, and it’s just brilliant, scorching hot, all-encompassing in a way that made me feel caught up in the whirlwind that is their relationship. If you haven’t yet read anything by l0ve, then I strongly, strongly recommend you start right about NOW. You won’t regret it. 

4. Teeth - @amelior8or - 5k - E - Potter’s been practically begging for it, for months, constantly staring until the air crackles with the intensity of it. Draco always stares back, until all it takes is a brush, a spark, before they go up like flash paper. The crash into each other is inevitable. Draco’s heart has got teeth. And there is nothing he won’t do to keep up the fight with Harry fucking Potter.

I am absolutely, 1000% weak for werewolf stories, and in just 5k words this one managed to enchant and entrance me. It’s hot and fast-paced and intense in the way I love, with their relationship charged with emotion and intensity that transform bickering into passion in the blink of an eye. The moment I reached the end, I went back to the top of the page and reread it that very second, because I had to experience it all over again. Amazing characterization, banter to die for and explosive chemistry are all present in this gem. I kid you not, I’ve read it about six times at this point and just keep going back to that moment in the showers because THAT DIALOGUE IS JUST- wow. 

5. Hush, darling - @magpiefngrl - 23k - E - Draco is in trouble. To get out of it he needs to seduce Harry Potter.

My god what a story this is. Absolutely unique, 23k words that felt like so, so much more because of everything they made me feel. There isn’t a single line of dialogue in this story that doesn’t feel purposeful, the characterizations constructed with such skill that every step the characters take rings true to their essence and gives us another clue to add to the puzzle that is Harry Potter, vulnerable man, powerful man, and Draco Malfoy, in all his darkness and his light. It also features some of the best sex scenes I have read, EVER. I could go on and on about this one, so let me just refer you to my long, individual rec for some more flailing. 

6. The Pirate and the Prince - @nerdherderette - 49k - E - Draco can't believe that fate and circumstance have made him a stowaway on the Master of Death's ship. He doesn't know what's worse: the dread pirate's legendary vendetta against the aristocracy, or the fact that his captor is the most infuriating yet irrefutably fascinating man Draco has ever met.

YES!!!!! YES!!! The moment I saw the cover art for this fic on tumblr my entire being just screamed YES, and it was everything I could’ve hoped for and more. Listen, there is nothing I love more than fics where I get to see Harry as a powerful, ruggedly handsome man who’s not afraid of getting his hands dirty, and in here there’s some of that and MORE, because he’s a freaking PIRATE. And not only did I adore that aspect of it, but the writing pulled me right in, the setting so vibrant I could feel it in my bones, and I just genuinely enjoyed every second of reading this so, so much. There’s ships and adventure and fighting for what’s right, there’s lovely kisses, heated kisses, secret identities and parrot Hedwig. Just, all in all, a great freaking time. 

7. Falling for a Golden Boy - @rockmarina - 44k - E - Merlin. Why couldn’t Draco have moved to a forgotten village in the Alps? He could have turned into a shepherd, learned to make his own damn cheese and given up his damn magic. But no, he’d had to come back to his Eighth year, hadn’t he? And this was his life now. Draping himself over Potter to hear words from him that he knew Potter wouldn’t ever mean.Great. The school year ahead of him looked simply great.“All I know is—when I’m with you, I…” Potter, the heathen, grunted when he read the rest of his line. “Do I really need to say this?”“What, scared of believing your own words, Scarhead?” Draco spat.“Boys,” O’Neill warned them.“All I—all I know is you’re the most amazing person with weak ankles that I've ever met, Meg.” Potter scowled. He was blushing again. “And when I’m with you, I feel less alone.”

My favorite eight year Drarry of all time, probably. I had never before experienced such a beautiful balance of the aftermath of the horrifying events of the war and how they impacted each character, and the light feeling of youthful fun. There are so, so many things to love in the 44k words that make up this masterpiece, so many details that warmed my heart and made me melt inside, so many moments that had me laughing or clutching my chest. In here, you’ll find quite a lot of Hercules references, wonderful teachers, drama club, healing, characters learning to trust, learning to love, learning to cope, beautiful friendships, hopeful romance. It is everything. I talked more about this fic in this individual rec, and I will absolutely talk MORE about it if given the chance. Everyone should read this. 

8. Tease Crossed, Eyes Dotted With A Little Heart - @diligent-thunder - 18k - M -  Draco's a curse-breaker, Harry's an Auror, and they're... something? Maybe? It depends. Harry definitely wants to get laid, Draco wants to follow procedure, and their work wives just want them to stop hiding from the truth. 

I hope you’re not sick of my rambling yet because oooooh boy, THIS ONE. It’s funny, in the way that makes you cover your mouth because you’re about to burst out laughing on the bus, it’s hot, in that casual way that makes you clear your throat and shift your phone just a little, just so the screen can’t be seen by the person sitting beside you because like HELL are you going to stop reading now, it’s sweet, in the way that makes you smile so hard your cheeks hurt, and it’s so detailed and all around so, so much fun to read, in the way that grips you and doesn’t let you go, only to release you when it’s over so you can go and recommend it to your friends, IT’S. SO. GOOD. Real quick: auror + cursebreaker pairing, are-they-friends-with-benefits-or-more, guess-they’d-have-to-actually-TALK-to-know-that, teasing each other in public, getting trapped together for a bit there, powerful female characters, should you guys really be flirting right now? and MORE. Listen, just go read it now and thank me later. 

9. That which hurts (and is desired) - @shealwaysreads - 19k - E - Draco was lying still, and pale, on a bed in a private room in St Mungo’s. The sheets were white, clean, enchanted against stains, vanishing the blood that kept spilling out of him. He hadn’t moved in two days. Not a twitch of his elegant fingers. Not a blink of his fierce eyes. Harry couldn’t even see the faint flutter of his pulse in his throat from where he stood at the foot of the bed, helpless, impotent, furious.

This fic is written so, so beautifully that it aches and leaves such an impression that, thinking back on it, every emotion hits me just as hard as it did when I was reading it. Everything Harry felt, I felt, every moment where he found himself just a little bit more in love with Draco, I was there, every moment of his frustration when Draco is hit with a curse nobody can decipher, I was there for it. With non-linear storytelling, it is evocative, a masterclass in narration, pacing, characterization and beautiful, lyrical writing. I nearly have no words for it. It features: auror partners that work together seamlessly, a dash of pining, a helping of very, very hot sex, and a love story that feels soft like a dream and thrilling like a race. This was the very last story I read in 2019, and I could not have ended the year on a better note. Definitely check this one out.

10. For Thine Is The Kingdom - @kedavranox - 66k - E - On a secret mission, Draco is Turned. With no memory of what happened, he learns that to save his missing Auror partner and regain what he’s lost, he must uncover the long-buried secrets of the vampire covens. To do that, Draco must open his mind and heart to what he has become, the new-found family that surrounds him, and the man who has remained steadfast at his side through it all.Harry spent five years avoiding the man he fell in love with, but when Draco needs his help, he cannot refuse. As they race against the clock to find Draco’s partner, Harry discovers that the bond they share is nothing to hide from, and that he'll never outrun the pace of his own heart.

And last but absolutely not least, there’s this freaking diamond of a story. I swear I want to squeal whenever I remember it. I’ll be brief: it is one of my absolute favorite fics of all time. In here, there’s vampires, unspeakables, a big investigation, wonderful side characters and information given in small little doses as we learn alongside the characters and piece together an entire picture. It’s dazzling, incredibly detailed in every way, with shades to each character and nuances to every interaction and bit of magic we get to see. I feel like anything I can say is not enough, I can never do this story justice. I have tried before, and written the gushiest individual fic rec of my LIFE but just- I honestly have no more words to express how much I think everyone needs to read this. Please, check that rec out, please, check this story out. There is absolutely nothing like it.

----

And that wraps it for 2019! Thank you to all who take the time to check out my lists, and THANK YOU specially if you give these incredible stories a chance, because they deserve all the love in the world. Once again: All the way from here, behind a username and a few tumblr posts, I can honestly say that these 30 stories made my year. I hope they can make yours, too ❤️ If you ever want to discuss these (for tag concerns or plain flailing) (or any story really) my DM’s are always open!!!

[mayraki]

The Trained Assassin

Spencer Reid series. Part 11 (The End)

Not my gif! Credits to the owner.

Summary: Life’s not easy when you found out that instead of being trained to be a spy for the CIA, you are being trained to be an assassin, a killer. The people you wanted to stop, they were making you one. That’s when you joined the BAU to become someone new, you didn’t want to be someone’s toy. You wanted your past to be arrased, that’s all. But it’s not easy to hide a past like that.

Note: Well, the end is here! I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who followed the story since the beginning. This is my first series and I couldn’t be more grateful for every comment, like and reblog. This has been a really beautiful journey as a writer and thank you for being a part of that. I love you all and see you at another one of my stories!

warning: graphic descriptions!

MASTERLIST

“The Family Grows”

Time flies when you are having a good time. Six months passed since you and Spencer decided to be together. At first, as you two suspected, it was weird. Morgan and Garcia teasing you about it, and you were pretty sure you heard Emily said at least four times the phrase “I was right.”

When you told your little brother, Max, he was so excited and started to talk about a future with Spencer and all the magic tricks he was going to learn from him.

“You are a great cook, Spencer.” Max said when dinner was over.

“Yeah, you never stop learning things about each other.” You said surprised at him.

After spending almost an hour watching Spencer make magic tricks to Max, you told him that it was time to go bed.

“But I’m on vacation!” He protested and you lifted your eyebrow.

“Max, bed.”

He sighed and hugged Spencer goodbye. He let out a little smile and looked at you once Max was our of your sight.

“You know, we don’t have to wake up early tomorrow either. We can do something.” He said getting closer to you.

“Right... what do you have in mind?” You let your arms rest on top of his shoulders and he grabbed your waist to pull you closer.

“Uh, I don’t know.” You smiled and kissed him slowly.

“I have an idea, but we have to go to the bedroom.”

You lifted your eyebrow and smiled “Oh, we do?”

He nodded and you kissed him again, but when his phone rang he sighed.

“It’s JJ.” He said confused looking at the screen.

“That’s not good.” You said and walked to your room to get changed, because you knew you had to leave soon.

After taking Max to one of his friend’s house to stay for as long as you were working on the case, you drove to the BAU. Spencer and you ran to the meeting room because you knew you were late.

“Sorry we’re late!” You said once you entered the room but noticed that JJ and Hotch weren’t there.

“Now, what were you two doing that made you late?” Morgan asked with a smirk on his face and you punched him in the arm.

“Nothing, we had to do something before coming in here.”

“Yeah, and is that thing you had to do, be connected to the fact that Spencer has shiny lips gloss all over his lips?” Garcia said and you quickly looked up to Spencer.

“Wow, that really is a a long lasting lip gloss.” You said but you turned to the team. “But that’s not what we were doing, now, drop it.”

No one could say anything else because JJ entered the room and without hesitation said quickly “Grab your go bag and let’s go. I’ll explain everything in the plane.”

“A kid has been abducted ten minutes ago. They want us because they had similar cases, once a week a kid’s reported missing. Now, her name is Julia Porter. She’s eight years old.” JJ said once the plane started to move.

“Like we all know, the first hours of an abduction are the most important. So let’s act quick.” Hotch said and everyone nodded.

The team arrived at the destination and once you were able to get to the police station, you started to do your job.

“Julia’s father is here.” JJ said.

“I’ll talk to him.” Emily offered.

“There’s going to be a bonfire this afternoon for the lost children, if this person is capable of remorse he’s going to be there. Y/n and Morgan, I need you to go there.” You nodded and turned to the board Spencer was building.

“Do you have something?” You asked him.

“Well, all of his victims are the same age. But they go for boys and girls. And the fact that they still haven’t found them, that indicated that, maybe, they’re still alive.”

“Yeah, let’s pray that and not that they’re keeping the bodies..” you said and felt your stomach turned at the thought of that.

The smell of fire came into your nose once you arrived at the bonfire. A ton of pictures and toys were on the floor, people were leaving flowers and you started to look at their behaviour.

You walked to the side of the fire and Morgan to the other. Then, you noticed a guy with a black jacket on. He wasn’t talking to anyone and he seemed nervous. He was looking down and he had a single flower on his hands.

He approached the fire and let the flower close to the photo of the most recent girl who went missing. That made you even more curious about him, that’s when you locked eyes with him and you noticed that his nerves went up. He tried to not look at you but he kept glancing. He was trying to keep calm but when you started to walk to him he quickly turned to the other side and ran towards the houses.

You ran after him and tried to get Morgan’s attention, but then you decided it was best for him to keep looking at the people there. He was fast and while he was running, he turned to you to see if you were still following him.

“Stop! FBI! Stop!” You sreamed at him but he didn’t listened to you.

It was extremely difficult trying to not lose him, the houses were big and he kept turning in weird ways around the houses. The trees didn’t let a lot of day light trough so that didn’t help either. He turned to the left and lost him on the trees.

“Fuck.” You whispered and headed back to where Morgan was.

“Where did you go?” He asked once you got next him.

“There was this guy, he seemed suspicious. He left a flower for the last girl who disappeared, and then he started to run. That’s when I followed him but I lost him on the trees.” Morgan nodded. “I’m not sure is he’s the unsub, but I’m going to find out more about him.”

***

“Yes, I’ve seen him around. He’s a pretty weird kid, he always uses the same jacket.” A neighbor told you “But I don’t think he’s capable of doing such a bad thing, I think he’s a little bit slow.”

“Slow?” You asked.

“Yeah, one time I tried to talk to him because he was in the middle of the road, but he couldn’t take a word out. He was shaking and couldn’t keep his posture straight.”

“Was he drunk?” Morgan asked.

“No, I don’t think so. I’ve never seen him with a bottle in his hands.” The neighbor said and you thanked her.

“So he lives here.” Morgan said and you nodded while walking towards the car.

“Yeah, but his house has to be behind the trees. Otherwise, out of all the neighbors we interviewed, at least one would’ve been able to tell us where he lives.”

You arrived at the police station and noticed Spencer looking at the board where all the clues were hanged.

“Is there anything new?” You asked him once you stood next to him.

“The father told us that he saw a white van across the street a couple of times.” He said without taking his eyes from the board.

“Does he remembers the type of van?”

He shook his head “he said a normal looking van.”

You slowly nodded and felt a headache appeared in your head. You sighed and closed your eyes, trying to ignore the pain.

“You ok?” He asked and you opened your eyes. His sweet eyes were looking at you concerned.

“When I don’t sleep I get this headaches. It’s alright.”

“Maybe you should take a break.”

You shook your head. “No, I won’t stop until we find this little girl.” He nodded and went back to the board.

After going back to the neighbourhood, this time with Spencer, you decided to go and look around at the houses that were hidden by the trees. They looked old and rusty, like no one took care of them. They were far away from each other.

“It looks like they are abandoned.” Spencer said and you slowly nodded.

“This is the last house?” You asked once you arrived at the end of the little road.

“Looks like it.”

You didn’t see anything strange and that made you frustrated. Because, maybe that meant you were looking on the wrong place.

“Wait, there’s a house down there.” Spencer said and you looked to where he was pointing.

There was a house behind another one. To go to it, you had to drive in a little road next to the house. But that seems to be blocked by some branches.

“That looks intentional.” You said and Spencer nodded.

You got out of the car and headed to the house that was in front of it. You knocked on the door and seconds later a old lady appeared on the door.

“How can I help you?” She asked with a sweet voice.

“Hi, we’re the FBI and we would like to ask you some questions.” The lady nodded “What can you tell us about the house you have behind yours?”

“That old thing? No one has come out of it in years. But I’m sure someone lives there.”

“How are you so sure?” Spencer asked.

“They get a lot of mail. There’s always a van that comes every morning, stays for a couple of minutes and then leaves.”

“A white van?” You asked and the lady nodded. You looked at Spencer and he had the same expression. You thanked the lady and grabbed your phone while you were walking back to the car.

“Y/n.” Hotch said on the phone.

“We talked to a lady and found out that a white van comes to a house down the road every morning.” You said while getting inside the car.

“Can you see the house and notice if anyone is inside?”

“No, the house in front of it hides it perfectly.”

“Ok. Approach it and wait for a response. Be careful. Keep me posted.”

You hanged the phone call and told Spencer the orders Hotch gave you. He nodded and just when you were about to open the door, you heard a car driving to you. That’s when you saw a van passing you by and going trough the branches.

“Didn’t the woman told us they came every morning?” Spencer asked.

“What’s so special about today?”

“I’ll call Hotch.” He said and you didn’t take your eyes off the van.

It was moving slowly and then you lost it because of the house in front of it. You sighed and then heard Spencer talking to Hotch.

“He says that we stick with the original order, if there’s nothing to hide. They won’t panick.” You nodded and got out of the car.

Once you were close enough to the house you saw the van parked next to the porche. There was completely silence taking over your surroundings and you got closer to Spencer. You stood in front of the door and knocked on it. But no response. Knocked on it again and no response.

“FBI, open up.” You said and still, no response. That’s when you heard a noise coming from the van and you walked towards it. A louder noise came to your ears and you pulled out your gun, Spencer did the same and walked towards the door of the van, you nodded when he looked at you. But when he was about to open the door, the van started and it drove backwards.

“Stop!” You didn’t want to shot the van because maybe whoever was inside could be of help.

But the van, instead of driving away, it drove into the trees and smoke started to come out of if.

You walked towards it next to Spencer, with your gun out. Once you got next to the van you headed to the door and Spencer walked to the other side.

“FBI! Get out of the van with your hands where I can see them!” You yelled but no noise came out of the van. “Spencer, I’m going in.” You said and he nodded.

You opened the door and quickly pointed your gun. Nobody was in the front seat. There was a curtain that covered the back of the van, so you slowly grabbed it and then quickly pulled. A man was laying there in pain and you pointed your gun towards him. It was the man from the bonfire.

“Don’t move!” You yelled and you heard Spencer ran to you. You walked towards the man and handcuffed him. “You have some explanation to do, buddy.” You said and got out of the van.

***

“There’s no way this kid could pulled out an abduction by himself.” Hotch said while the team watched Morgan interview him.

He couldn’t say a word and you noticed his hands were shaking. He looked like he was under a drug and he consumed way more than his body could handle. Hotch was right, but something didn’t add up.

“Then I don’t know what to think anymore. There’s no more clues.” You said and sighed.

You felt frustrated. This never happened to you, you always knew your next move. You were always ahead of time and never felt like the case was winning you, but this time, it was.

You walked out of the room and felt Spencer follow you. “Hey..” he said and you felt his hands touch your arms. “Don’t let it get to you, we are going to find her.”

“Did I just waist time by going after this guy?” Spencer shook his head and got in front of you.

“You’re doing the best you can, Y/n. We all are.”

“And sometimes that’s not enough, and that sucks.” Spencer nodded and hugged you.

“Yeah, our job sucks sometimes.” He said and you let your head rest in his shoulder.

“I don’t know why I’m letting it get to me so much, I’m not usually like this.” You said.

“It’s ok, kids cases can be difficult sometimes.”

You slowly nodded and tried to keep yourself together and continue with the case.

After a couple of hours trying to get the kid to talk, Hotch decided to let him go because he didn’t fit the profile and there was no way a kid like him could commit something so difficult like an abduction. And he was right.

You offered yourself to take the kid back to the house, and Spencer told you he was not going to let you go alone. So, when everything was ready, you got to the car and started to drive it back to the house.

The ride was silent and you could feel the kid looking at you most of the time. But it wasn’t a serious look, he had sweet in his eyes, but you don’t want to let him know that you noticed that, because that could be pretended.

Once you arrived at the house, you let the kid out and went to the door to knock on it again to see if anyone was there. And this time, a woman open the door. He had a messy bun and had cleaning clothes on.

After the woman let Spencer and you in, you explained the situation and the woman nodded. “You know, I’m sorry he did that. I told him a million times to not drive that van.”

The woman put his arm around the kid’s shoulder and you noticed he flinched for a second. You looked at Spencer, and for the look on his face you knew he saw the same thing.

Something about this house and the woman made your suspicious about the situation go up.

“Ben, why don’t you go to your room and let me talk to the agents?” The woman said and he slowly got up from the couch and Spencer did the same thing.

“It’s alright if I go with him? You know, for kids like him this situations can be a little bit traumatic, I just want to let him know it’s alright.” He said and the woman hesitated, but then she nodded.

Once he was behind the woman he gave you a look letting you know that he also thinked that something was wrong.

“Does he get in trouble a lot?” You asked once Spencer and Ben were out of the living room.

“Yeah, sometimes. But he doesn’t mean it, he doesn’t understand why he does stuff, you know?” She said and you felt like she wasn’t telling the complete truth. “He’s been like this since he was a kid, it’s hard for me. I’ve been his tutor since his mother passed away.”

“And what about his father?” You asked and looked around. The were no photos. No mother, no father, not even her and Ben.

“He left his mother when he found out she was pregnant. He was a bastard. A told Lily to stay away from that man. But she never listened.”

“How did you knew his mother?”

“We were best friends.” She said quickly. “I knew here since I can remember. I’m Ben’s godmother.” You noticed that it was barely any reaction in her face.

If she was so close to his mother, how come there’s no pictures of her?

“I’m going to check on Ben, if he’s alone with strangers he gets a little bit nervous.” She said and you slowly nodded.

Once she was gone, you got up and started to look for details in her living room. Everything was so clean, for a house that was surrounded by trees and dirt it was very difficult to keep the house clean. But there was definitely not sight of dust. When you were about to walk to the kitchen you heard a noise coming from the back of the house and Spencer came into your mind.

You walked towards the noise and saw the kid laying on the floor, but he was not hurt, he was shaking more than before.

“Hey, Ben, you’re ok?” You entered the room and your eyes went immediately to the body that was laying on the floor.

“Spencer!” Before you could do anything else, something hit you hard on the head and you fell on your knees.

The pain in your head came like a fast truck and you closed your eyes trying to get over the pain. You tried to pulled out your gun but the same thing that hit you before, made it’s way to your arm and you screamed in pain. That’s when you noticed the woman trying to get your gun. When she did it, she throw it across the room where you noticed Spencer’s gun was also there. She hit you again on your back and this time, you fell entirely on the floor.

“You’re being more difficult than this one over here.” She pointed to Spencer. “One hit and he was all over the floor. Men. They are weak. But you... you are strong.” The pain in your head was getting harder to ignore and everything was becoming blurry. She tried to hit you again but you avoided it by moving to you side, and then punched her in her knee with your foot.

You tried to go towards your gun but she hit you again in the back. This woman was extremely strong. The pain in your back was hard to ignore and you coughed. You noticed blood on the floor and touched your head, your hands were covered in blood.

The woman walked to the guns and grabbed them. Walked away for a second and then she came back, with nothing but a baseball bat on her hands.

“Oh, you’re a really trying hard to stay awake. I like that.” She said and you remembered that Ben was still in the room. You were trying to get his attention but the woman got in front of him, kicking you in the face with her foot. You hit the floor by the impact and everything was starting to get black. You moved again and you noticed the woman was getting frustrated.

“I’m starting to get bored with you! Go to fucking sleep!” She hit you again in the back and your insides moved. You pretended to black out, so you could see what the woman was going to do. “Finally!” She said. You heard her walked to the other room and you slightly opened your eyes. Ben was still shaking but this time he was looking at you. You tried to move but the pain made it impossible.

You locked eyes with Ben and you noticed he was trying to say something to you. He slowly moved his hands and pointed to the floor with his index finger. When you were trying to understand what he was saying, you heard that the woman was coming back so you closed your eyes.

“C’mon, Ben, we’re going to continue with our daily routine. Just because this two stupid agents are here, I’m not going to stop. I’m pretty sure they are not going to wake up before we get back.” She said and you heard two people heading out the room. You waited for the van to start and drove away, before you open your eyes and try to move. The pain was still there but this time you were able to get up.

“Spencer..” you tried to say but the pain inside of you made it so difficult. You slowly walked outside and noticed that your car was still there.

You lifted Spencer and you screamed in pain. Once he was up, you noticed blood where his head was. You felt a tear coming down your face and you didn’t know if it was for the pain you were feeling or for Spencer. Probably both.

You walked towards your car and carefully left Spencer in the back seat. But when you were about to opened your door, you noticed a door that leaded to an outside basement. You remembered Ben pointing to the floor and it hit you. He was telling you to go to the basement.

You hesitated, should you trust him?

But the woman was gone, so you decided to go and check it out. You pulled out the gun you had hidden in your leg, and walked slowly to the door, trying to not scream in pain.

You walked down the stairs once you opened the door and grabbed the flashlight you had on your back pocket.

Clothes were all over the place and the smell of blood came into your nose.

“Hello?” A kid’s voice said and you looked to where it came from.

“Julia?” You asked and the kid coughed.

“Yeah.” You walked to her and pointed your flashlight at her. She had bruises all over her arms and legs.

“Julia.” You kneeled down at her. “Hi, I’m Y/n, I work for the FBI. You’re safe now. Can you walk sweetie?” She nodded and when you gently grabbed her arm you noticed needle marks on her arm. She was drugged.

Once you walked to your car, you noticed Spencer was still not awake and that made your heart sink. That was not good.

You helped Julia get in the car and you got in after everything was ready.

You started the car and drove quickly out of there. You looked at Julia and she was falling asleep.

“No! No! Julia, don’t go to sleep. Don’t let the drugs take over your body, sweetie.” You said quickly and tried to drove as fast as you could.

You felt blood coming down your face and tears started to drop down your cheeks. “Spencer! Wake up! Please!” You tried to control your emotions but the pain you felt inside made you break down. “Spencer!”

You remembered the car phone and you marked Hotch’s number.

“Y/n? Where are you?” He said and you noticed the concern in his tone.

“Hotch! Hotch! I need you to listen to me! I have Julia with me, it was the kid’s godmother. There’s no time to explain, but Spencer and I are really hurt and I’m heading to the hospital. Julia was drugged.” You said as quickly as possible and tried to keep your breathing normal.

“Y/n, which hospital?” He asked.

“No! Hotch, listen to me! I’ve got this, you go with the team after the woman. It’s the same van, I think they are going after another kid. You go after her, Hotch.”

“Y/n! I’m not going to let you do this alone! Where are you? Tell me, that’s an order!”

“I’m sorry, Hotch.” You hanged the call and the tears were coming fast down your face.

When you arrived at the hospital, you left the car and ran inside.

“Please! Help!” You said and tried to get anyone’s attention.

“Doctor!” A woman yelled and got close to you.

“The car! Outside!” You said but felt your stomach shut down at the pain. The last thing you heard was people runing outside.

***

You opened your eyes and immediately felt the pain in your body appeared again. You tried to sat down but a lot of cables were connected to you so that made it impossible.

“Hey, hey” Emily said next to you. “You need to rest.”

“Where’s Spencer?” You asked.

“He’s ok. He’s in the next room.” She said with a half smile.

“I need to see him.” You tried to disconnect the cables but Emily was quick and stopped you.

“He’s fine. I promise you.”

“What about the little girl?”

“She’s fine. You saved her life. Hers and Spencer’s.” You were about to ask another question but Emily stopped you “Yes, we got her.” You slowly nodded.

You closed your eyes and your body immediately fell asleep.

You opened your eyes once again and this time the person who was there with you was Garcia.

“Hi, sweet girl, how you feeling?” She asked you once she got up and was close to you.

“I’m better now.” You said and gave her a little smile. You drank from your glass of water you had on your side table and heard someone walk inside the room. It was Hotch.

“I’m going to let you two talk.” She said giving you a smile and walked out of the room.

“Hotch, I’m sorry.”

“You ignored my order.” He said with a serious face and you looked down. You were preparing yourself to hear him fire you but what he said next, surprised you. “You risked your life to save others. And at the same time, helped us catch the unsub. Now, I don’t know how you’re still alive, I have to be honest. But I do know that thanks to you, one of my agents and a little girl are alive. You saved them, Y/n.” He gave you a little smile and you gave him one back.

“You’re not going to fire me?”

He shook his head “No, but I do know that you’re going to make the right decision.”

You looked at him confused but he walked out of the room.

You let your hand rest on your stomach and closed your eyes. That’s when you heard your phone buzz and looked at it.

“Your period it late: four weeks!” You read on the little screen. You never gave much thought into it. You were used to getting your period late, for the stress you felt at work, it was common. But this time you felt different.

So, you decided to call Garcia and ask her for a little favor.

***

“Spencer..” you said once the doctors let you two walked out of the room to see each other. You walked towards him and gave him a soft hug. You were still in pain and didn’t want to mess things up for the two of you. “How are you feeling?”

“Better. But the headache doesn’t go away.” He said and gave you a little smile. “Does Maxim know?”

You shook your head. “I never tell him when I’m at the hospital, it’s pretty often with this job.” You let out a little laugh “I don’t want to concern him.”

Spencer nodded and hugged you once again. “You saved my life.” He said almost in a whisper.

“Of course, I would never hesitate.” You said in the same tone as him.

“Next time, it’s my turn.” He said jokingly but you didn’t laugh. You had another thing in mind.

“You already did.” He looked you in the eyes “You make me happy, Spencer.” He gave you a little smile and united his lips with yours. “I think the universe is telling me to stop.” You said once the kiss was over.

“Maybe.” He said and gently grabbed your cheeks. “This is our job.”

“Spencer, I’m not talking about our job.” You said and Spencer lifted his left eyebrow confused.

You reached your back pocket and grabbed the positive pregnancy test. He looked at it and it took him a second to get it together.

“You’re pregnant?” He asked in a whisper and you nodded. You were afraid of his answer but he smiled went as bigger as his face allowed it. He had tears coming down his face and that made you teared up. He grabbed your cheeks and gave you a big kiss. “I’m going to be a father.” He said with excitement.

“And I’m going to be a mother.” You said and you let out a little smile but then reality just hit you. You were going to be a mother. “I don’t even know how to be one.” Your face changed with fear and Spencer made you look up to him.

“Hey, hey. I don’t know either, how to be a father. But we’ll figure it out together. I’ll read as many books as I can in 9 months and...”

“That’s probably a lot.” You said and let out a little laugh.

He nodded giving a little smile “The important thing is that we’re a team. We have Max too. He’s a little genius, he’s going to be a great uncle.”

“Oh my god, the baby’s father and uncle are both nerds, it’s destiny is already written.” You said jokingly and Spencer smiled at you.

He united his lips with yours and hugged you. “You make me so happy, Y/n. And I can’t imagine my life without you.” He kissed you again. “You’re my entire world. And I can’t believe your mine. You’re so damn beautiful... I can wait to meet this little baby and give it this awesome life. And I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you, my little trained assasin.”

***

Well, here’s the ending! Did I cry when I finished it!? Yes, absolutely. I hope y’all liked it and you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. This has been amazing. Again, thank you so much for every like, comment and reblog. It means the world to me. So, thank you. See your later :)

taglist; @itsarayofsunshine @whothefuckstolemykeds @haykayhesson @introvertedsin @mylovehes @infires420 @uwu-sebastianstan @my-life-is-here-soo @spencersdolore @oldspirit @l0ve-0f-my-life @nanocoool @throughparisallthroughrome @aerialdinosaur @enigma-xlii

[ilguna]

Metanoia - Chapter Ten (f.o)

Summary: you will be crowned victor of the 75th hunger games.

Word Count; 7.5k

Warnings; swearing, murder!

NOTES: i give reader a last name to fit the world.

DOUBLE UPDATE TODAY --> CHAPTER TEN 1/2

–

You would take the fucking birds over the spiders any day. If you could go back in time and be here instead, you would take it. Because while it was genuine torture for Katniss--since she has human emotion--it was nothing to you. You laughed for the first fifteen minutes, until it stopped being funny as soon as they pulled out fabricated screams of your very dead family.

You can’t deny that you weren't impressed, though. The amount of trouble they must have gone through just to get them had to have been a lot. They’re dead, which means that they obviously can’t torture them, so the screams have to be fake. So, they have to go back to the interview they had with your family when you were first in the games, take samples of their voices, and then manipulate it until it sounded about right.

They did a fantastic job making it sound real. You almost had a flashback to all those times you were a dick to your brothers and sisters. However, you can’t verify for your parents. They never screamed, no matter what situation they were in, they took it without any fear.

You tried to tell Katniss that the people she hears screaming are probably just fine, considering the gamemakers are morons and they just gave the entire thing away the second they chose your family. But she either literally couldn’t hear you over the birds, or she just chose to ignore you either way.

You can’t say that you didn’t try, though you didn’t care enough to enforce it in her mind.

After a certain point in time, you got fed up with the birds pelting you, and sitting around next to the wall waiting for the hour to be up, so you wandered. Of course, where you went, the birds followed. But it was better being able to move around and check out the sector to see if it was worth staying in after this. 

Compared to everything else, this section of the arena is definitely harmless. The birds fuck with the mind of those who have human emotion, but that’s about it. There’s no deadly fog or monkeys. There’s no spiders that eat flesh or a wave of water that’ll wipe you out if you can’t swim. It’s basically clean.

Although, it does hurt when the birds propel themselves into your body, beaks first. After a while, you kinda just get used to it, and learn when to swing the glaive to send the birds flying into the trees. It was fun, until you realized that if you wander too far, the gamemakers might actually try to wipe you out for entertainment.

“Are you okay?” Finnick asks, you swat his hand away.

“You think I give a shit?” you ask, “Those birds mean nothing. The screams are fake, the gamemakers were stupid enough to use my families.” you look up to the sky of the arena, “Which by the way, if you didn’t know--they’re all fucking dead!”

The look on Finnick’s face is almost priceless. He opens his mouth, but you shake your head at him. They’ve been dead for years, and no amount of apologies will bring them back to life. Everyone can say they’re sorry all they want, but you don’t want to hear a single thing out of their mouth concerning the situation unless they’re some sort of necromancer.

“They won’t touch Prim.” Peeta says to Katniss.

“Your fiance’s right, the whole country loves your sister. If they tortured her-–if they did anything to her, forget the districts. There would be riots in the damn Capitol.” Johanna laughs, and then yells; “Hey, how does that sound, Snow? What if we-–what if we set your backyard on fire? You know you can’t put everybody in here.”

You slow clap, snickering to yourself. Johanna and you may not get along, since you two come from very different places, but the two of you are similar than anyone may think. Which is the exact reason why you hate her so fucking much. You don’t want to be compared to her. While she’s loud-mouthed and unafraid to get in trouble, you’d never say some of the shit she does.

Like her stunt during the interview, not a move you would have made. Then again, your entire plan when you volunteered was to be ruthless and win. You didn’t want a target on your head back then, and you don’t really want one now either. However, in order for that not to happen, you’d have to completely ditch your group of allies here.

If anything screams target, it’s sticking around with Beetee, the guy who worked for the Capitol, knows things that he shouldn’t. Johanna, as you said, loud-mouthed and unfearful of sharing her opinions. And Katniss Everdeen, the trouble-stirrer. Plus, god knows what Snow would have against Finnick, Peeta and you.

“What?” she asks, “He can’t hurt me. There’s no one left that I love.”

“Join the club.” you swing the glaive in your hand before slamming it into the ground.

First of all, you’re not entirely surprised that her family has been killed off. When she had come out of her games, she was a big talk for a long while. Johanna played the damsel in distress role very well, which is nearly the same thing that Finnick had done. The only difference, Finnick was just looked over until the last second, while Johanna was purposely acting innocent. 

It doesn’t take a lot for the Capitol citizens to desire a certain tribute. They must have seen the fire, spunk and determination on Johanna. Snow obviously had tried to get her to say yes, but even after he had killed her family, she didn’t give in like the rest of you. 

You’ve known a couple of people that have been included in the Capitol’s antics, actually. Cashmere, Gloss, Enobaria, you. You know for a fact that Finnick was included, and you bet he said no at first too, so he’s missing a few fingers. There’s Johanna, maybe Blight but you don’t have a clue on that. A few of the other tributes that have been in here probably too.

Katniss and Peeta would be on that list, if it weren’t for them being together and the nation wanting them to be. There’s a great deal of people that want them to be married and have children and be the holy grail of perfect couples. While on the other hand, there’s a few that would desire Katniss, you’re not sure about Peeta. He’s kinda… brainless.

Anyway, Snow wouldn’t take a chance like breaking up the most loved couple at the moment to try and sell one--or maybe both!--into prostitution. He’s smarter than that.

Johanna walks off, you’re not entirely sure why, and you don’t care very much either.

“You weren’t affected at all?” Finnick asks when he can’t stand the silence. Or he’s curious over why Katniss had lost her mind and you stood like a soldier in a storm.

“Finnick, I stopped giving a shit a long time ago,” you say, “There’s two exact things that I care about anymore. One, my big cozy house in District Two. And two, my pride and joy, Tanith.” you grab a hold of the necklace, showing it off for a moment, “And before you ask, no she isn’t my daughter. She’s just one of two of my victors.”

Zavian can go fuck himself, is what you’re subtly implying. You wonder if he’s caught on to that.

“Sure, they tried to get a rise out of me using Tanith’s screams, but I wasn’t going to fall for it. I already saw what happened to numb nuts--” you motion to Katniss, “--and decided to just… not care. I’m not exactly an emotional person, if you haven’t caught on just yet.”

Peeta clearly didn’t like the nickname that you handed off to Katniss. To this, you give him a very specific look as you pass him. Almost a sneer, because you still are very much above him.

“Kids.” you mutter.

This is enough to set him off, “Seriously, what is wrong with you?”

“Peeta…” Finnick warns.

You crouch down near him and Katniss, “You know how animals get a little antsy when their prey is in front of them?” he looks like he pales, “We’re not friends, Peeta. In fact, I completely loathe you and I’ve been waiting for a moment to pounce on you and everyone else here.

“The second that this alliance fails, I’m going after you guys first. Not Johanna, or Beetee, or Brutus. You and your little girlfriend.”

“That just means that you’re afraid of what we’re capable of.”

You laugh in his face, before moving closer, whispering; “No, I just know things that you don’t.” you stand again, “I’m heading to the beach, don’t feel forced to follow anytime soon.”

You take a completely new path to the beach, making sure to cover your tracks the best you can. Last thing you want is Finnick chasing after you, thinking that you’re upset or whatever. That isn’t the case in the slightest, you’re mostly walking away so you don’t end up killing them.

Katniss is in the most vulnerable state she’s been in yet. A quick stab through her chest, and then a swing of the glaive up to Peeta’s throat--and you’ve knocked them both out of the game already. You bet Finnick wouldn’t necessarily try to kill you, but he’d definitely disarm you in some way.

Pull the pocket knife out of your boot, three people are dead. Beetee can’t run that fast, four people. It would just be you and Johanna, and she’d probably go running back to the rest of you, since that’s a lot of cannons. You’d take her out too, and then there would be only three people left inside of the games.

You, Brutus, and Chaff--as Peeta said. Chaff doesn’t have any important skills, he’d die in the wilderness. With your luck, all you’d have to do is camp the cornucopia, hidden inside, and when he would come to armor up some more--because he would--you’d take him out too. Just like that, you’d be the winner of the Quarter Quell.

Of course, this is all easier said than done. Trying to kill four people in one big burst would be an absolute pain in the ass. You’d have to pick a perfect time to do it. Like Katniss freaking out over whoever it was, and Peeta tending over her. 

Actually, instead of killing Finnick third, you think you would go for Beetee instead, and Finnick would come after. It just makes more sense that way. 

The beach is empty, there’s no one around the ring--and as far as you can see--in the treeline either. Brutus would be smart enough to stay in the jungle, and not make a run for the cornucopia just in case the rest of you are out here. He’s outnumbered considerably. He might be able to mow down a few people at first, but eventually he’ll get taken down.

You take a seat next to the tree that you guys were gathered around before the jabberjays had rudely interrupted. You run your hands over your arms, noticing that the scabs are basically gone already. It’s good news, it means that the ointment that you were given works at an accelerated pace--even more so than the cream for the cut on the back of your head.

Applying it again, you skip your legs. It’s only the upper half of your body that’s exposed anymore, and it’s because you passed on putting the shirt on. It was because of how hot it is in here. Plus, the thing is basically ruined anyway, the spiders had chewed holes in it to get through.

Hell, you bet that it’s still where you left it last.

You can’t wait until all of this is over.

--

“Who’s Annie?” Katniss asks, you raise your head from where it was resting against a tree, looking to where everyone is sitting.

Johanna is next to Katniss, Finnick is sitting in the water, and Beetee and Peeta are nearby. 

“Annie Cresta, the girl that Mags volunteered for. She won like four years--five years ago.” Johanna says.

You lay your head back down against the tree, but don’t bother closing your eyes again, instead you stare right ahead at Finnick. You’d call him insane for sitting in freezing water like that, but he comes from the ocean district. No water can really bother him that badly.

You wonder what brought Katniss’ question on. She might have overheard you when you asked Finnick that question. About what would happen to Annie if you and Finnick are soulmates. If he’d just willingly leave her like that, after he found your dislikable personality, charming somehow.

“Is she the one that went a little…” Katniss doesn’t want to say it.

Johanna hums, pauses, and then says; “Love is weird.”

Unfortunately, it is.

“I have a plan.” Beetee says.

“Finnick!” Johanna gets up.

“I have a plan.” Beetee repeats.

Finnick and Johanna come back over, arms resting on the tree branch. You don’t move from where you’re sitting, which is definitely out of the circle that they’re standing and sitting in. You’re exhausted, you need some real sleep and not some power naps every couple of hours.

“Where does Brutus feel safest? The jungle?” Beetee asks.

“Jungles a nightmare.” Johanna says.

“Probably here on the beach.” Peeta answers.

“Then why is he not here?” Beetee asks.

“Because we are. We claimed it.” Johanna spits.

You can’t believe that they’re really worrying over one person. As you’ve said to yourself over and over, Brutus is harmless if you’re all careful. Yes, he will come back to hunt, but he’s going to need supplies out of the cornucopia first. Once he gets that shit, he’ll be coming after you guys.

“And if we left, he would come?” Beetee asks again.

You hate his ‘twenty questions’ game. If you have a plan, just say it and not beat around the bush.

“Or stay hidden in the treeline.” Finnick says.

“Which in just over four hours will be soaked with water from the ten o’clock wave.” he smiles, “Then what happens at midnight?”

“Lightning strikes that tree.” Katniss points.

“Here’s what I propose,” Beetee starts, “We leave the beach at dusk. We head to the lightning tree, that should draw them back to the beach. Prior to midnight, we then run this wire–” he motions to it, and then goes to pointing, “–from the tree, to the water. Anyone in the water, or the damp sand, will be electrocuted.’

The two morons sitting in the sand feel it between their fingers as if they don’t know what damp sand feels like by now. You clench your teeth and close your eyes, leaning your head back.

Maybe you should just stay here and quit following them around.

“How do we know that the wire’s not going to burn up?” Johanna asks.

“Because I invented it.” he says, “I assure you, it won’t burn up.”

Johanna and Finnick share a look, and you can practically hear the conversation. Asking if it’s worth it, the other says it won’t. There’s really nothing left to lose, so you all might as well do it.

And then, Finnick looks at you, “What’re you thinking, (Y/n)?”

“Is there a look on my face?” you ask, raising your eyebrows.

Finnick cracks a smile, “I’m asking because you know these tricks best.”

Sighing, you lean forward, “Not that you actually care, you’re going to go through whatever you feel like is best. But if you want my opinion, Brutus is one man. We can take him on, it’s not like he’s impossible to kill. The fact that you’re going through will all of this though--” you motion between the sand and the coil of wire, “--is stupid.”

“But if you were with him, would you come after us?” Katniss asks.

“Without a doubt. However, he’s by himself, he’s smarter than you guys take him for, he’s gonna wait till we split up or something. Also, since he’s the last hope of a career--since I am very clearly tainted by your ideals--he’s pampered. The motherfucker will have everything that he could wish for.”

Johanna laughs, “Well, Beetee’s plan is better than hunting him down.”

You roll your eyes, laying back against the tree again. You don’t know why you bother.

What’s even more annoying, is that you’re considering helping Brutus come after these pretentious dicks. And now that you know their plan, it makes it even better. You and Brutus would be able to avoid the beach for a while, and if it does get electrocuted, the sand will likely be partially glass anyway.

And since you know the jungle better than Brutus does at this point, he’ll owe you more than he’ll like it.

“Yeah, why not? If it fails, no harm done anyway.” Katniss says.

Peeta nods, “Alright, I say we try it.”

“So what can we do to help?” Finnick asks.

Beetee pauses for a moment before answering, “Keep me alive for the next six hours? That would be extremely helpful.”

Beetee goes ahead and lists everything that he’ll be doing. For a while, you’re able to sit through his speech, until you develop a headache. Only then do you go ahead with getting up and wandering to the cornucopia just to get away from everyone. If you do decide to sneak off, it’ll be easier to do when there’s a structure blocking their view.

You’ve got hours to burn before you have to leave the beach and go to the trees.

It isn’t until you’re pretty far along the rocks when you realize that you’re not alone. In fact, there’s quite a lot of splashing happening in the water. Instinctively, you move closer to the other side of the rock, not really wanting to look and see if there’s a fucking mutt that also lives inside of the water. On top of the fact that the gamemakers can spin you dizzy if they feel like it.

“Smart.”

“Holy fuck, Finnick.” you stop, raising your face to the sky, “Do you ever give people personal space?”

“Remember what happened the last time we were in the middle?”

You look at Finnick now, “As you guys said, he’s probably staying hidden in the trees! Won’t come out until we’re fuckin’ gone, so what’s the harm in wandering around?”

Finnick comes up to the rocks, crossing his arms and pulling himself with them, “Was that rhetorical or do you really want to know.”

You crouch down, “What are you here for?”

“Keeping an eye on you.”

“Afraid I’ll run?”

“After that homicidal look you had on your face listening to Beetee, yeah.”

You offer your hand to him, and he takes it, so you pull him up, “Beetee not only had an annoying voice, but doesn’t know when to shut up.” you look at where he’s sitting with Johanna, “She’s probably wanting to kill him too.”

You don’t wait for Finnick to pull himself up. The cornucopia is empty, there’s no one here but you and Finnick.

You wish that there weren’t cameras everywhere. You wish that you’d be able to have a full conversation with Finnick, cutting out all the secret words. You want to ask him what happened if this plan of his actually comes true. Who’s bringing them out of here? And when?

You have a vague idea, Beetee said that you guys should keep him alive for the ‘next six hours’, and not anything past that. That’s significant, right? Maybe it will happen tonight, after all.

“What’s on your mind?” Finnick takes a seat on the box while you six in the black sand.

“Six hours to keep him alive is very specific, don’t you think?” you ask, hoping that he catches on, “Do you think he has any big plans after that?”

“He might, after midnight. Just depends if it all goes according to plan.”

Something might happen after midnight--doesn’t make sense to you, “Well, Chaff is dead already,” the cannon went off an hour ago, it can’t be Brutus, you just know it, “And if we do kill Brutus, that just leaves us.”

“Yes it does.” Finnick says.

“Which means that I should branch off while I can.” you squint, waiting for him to object.

“We’d just have to go after you next, since you have a vendetta against Peeta and Katniss, after all.” 

“So I should stick around?”

“We might surprise you.” Finnick smiles.

You stand again, heading over to the water, facing it, “Yeah? And what happens if they shoot first?”

“Come on, (Y/n). You’re telling me that you won’t be anticipating it the entire time?”

He’s amused, which annoys you. All of this is such a walk in the park for him, and he can clearly tell that none of this is as easy for you. You don’t know if you can put your trust in their hands, considering that they know your motives. If you let your guard down for even a little bit, they’d be able to take you out.

Finnick is always so smug when it comes to things. Whoever is really behind this, he must believe in them a lot. They have to be really good at whatever they’re planning to do if this is the way to go.

“I will.” you admit, “If Katniss even twitches, I’ll wipe out that boy of hers.” you slam the glaive into the rock, smiling a little bit, “And while she’s grieving, I’ll take her next.”

“You fantasize about death a lot?”

“For them, yes.” you look over your shoulder, “Could you imagine the shock on the Capitol citizen’s faces when I take out the girl on fire and her useless boyfriend? They’d loathe me.”

“You’d get yourself in trouble.”

“I’m already in trouble. I had tons of people betting on me, and I’ve wasted their precious money.”

He snorts, “They’ll have more to waste next year, too.”

If there is a next year.

“When do we head back to the others?” you ask.

“Is the sun hitting the trees yet?” Finnick is behind you, and just before you’re able to slip out of his fingers, he places his hands on your waist and leans forward, “Looks like we’ve still got some time.”

“Annie Cresta is sobbing in her psychotic rocking chair.” you elbow him to get him off, and he obliges, “What made you like her, anyway?”

“What made you like me?”

You laugh, “Ha! You think I give a shit about you!” you then deadpan, staring at him, “Sweetheart, I could drown you in these waters and come up victorious. You haven’t grown on me as much as you think you have.”

“You’re tolerating me more, whether you want to admit that or not.”

“Tolerating is a hell of a difference. Ticking time bomb--what was that song that Wiress was singing before she was subtly murdered by my admirer?” you mock a smile.

Finnick looks interested, “Admirer? Gloss admired you?”

“If you win these games, make sure they play back the tapes of every single time Gloss and I ran across each other. Watch his eyes, especially. And the interview, too, because he had the blessing of holding my hand for a minute while we played rebellion on live tv.”

He’s quiet for a moment, and then he laughs to himself, “(Y/n), you could have anyone you want, and yet you choose to be all by yourself.”

“What? Johanna and Beetee have a crush on me now? On top of you, and Gloss, and probably Brutus too.” 

“Who said I’m on that list?” Finnick asks.

You hold up your finger, before moving behind him, placing your hands on his sides, leaning into his body as close as you can manage. He’s wet from being in the water, but the effect works.

“Go fuck yourself.”

You shove him in after that, watching as he flails, and then hits the water. 

You pick up your glaive from the rocks as you move back to the cornucopia. It’s a couple of seconds before Finnick gets himself out of the water again. You don’t say a word to him, pulling out food from the boxes and chewing on it as you continue to dig through the shit.

“You don’t need to ask my permission to go to the others.” you tell him, “I can take care of myself.”

“I know you can, but I’m going to sit here anyway.”

Not like he has much to do in the first place.

“Do you really think I would leave Annie for you?”

“No, and I don’t want you to either. The girl is nutty enough as it is, she’d just think that the next person she comes across that shows an interest will end up leaving her if they find their soulmate too.”

“You’d stay with someone even if they weren’t?”

You look up, “I don’t date.”

“Hypothetically, then.”

Sighing, you go back to what you were doing, “It’s not really hypothetical with me. The guy did fucking leave me because he found his soulmate when I was in the games. The motherfucker started dating her before I’d even come home. I wore his stupid trinket necklace into the games and everything.

“I was a teenager--whatever. But we had been together for years, so I would expect some hesitance, and maybe even remorse.” you look at Finnick, “If I were you, I wouldn’t even be considering leaving Annie. It would be a downgrade, because I don’t care about you, and she does.

“And before you say that ‘time would change that’, you’d be changing me, the person I am. I’m developed, I’m not changing anything. You choose someone who would love you forever, or someone who would loathe every detail about you.” you stop now, “If you saw a golden apple and a rotten apple in front of you, which would you pick? I know I would pick the golden one.”

“I am the golden one--”

“And I’m the rotten one for you.” you say, “And honestly, even if you do pick me, I don’t pick you. My opinion hasn’t changed since the tribute parade, you’re as unlikable as all the other rejects on the beach. The only people that have ever liked you are one of the three things, dead, crazy, or horny. And I’m not any of those.”

“No,” Finnick instantly disagrees, “You’re crazy.”

“Not for you.”

Finnick laughs, and doesn’t say anything more. 

You pop open another box, and lo and behold sits your sai’s. You laugh, pulling them out and turning them over in your hands. They’re shiny, new as the day as they were made.

“Look at these!” the excitement bubbles out of you, “I knew that they were here somewhere. They wouldn’t have the weapons for everyone but me.”

“Aren’t those used for disarming people, though? Not really for killing?”

You look up at Finnick, “That’s the best part. The bluntness makes it hurt.”

Getting to your feet, you spin them in your hands, and then aim them towards Finnick. You give him a pretty big smile, and he knows what you want. He picks up his trident, pointing it at your chest.

“What happens if I accidentally stab you?” Finnick asks.

“Don’t flatter yourself, you won’t even get close.” you swing first.

The bar to the trident gets stuck in the sai, and with one healthy twist, you’ve already disarmed Finnick in three moves. You grab the trident before it hits the rock, and then you hand it back to Finnick.

“That was quick.” Finnick raises his eyebrows, “What else do you know?”

“How to shoot a bow, wield a number of swords that are different variations of the same model. I know how to use the trident you’re holding, and anything close to a spear--what else?” you look into the cornucopia, “Probably the whip, the mace--with and without the chain too. The axes that Johanna has, I’d be able to use that too, but it’s a little heavy for my liking.”

When you look at Finnick, he clearly doesn’t know what to think, “Are you lying to me?”

“No.”

“What can’t you do?” 

“Swim well, and probably fish either. District Two is a barren wasteland.” you belt at least one of the sai’s before picking the glaive up, “Sun’s hit the trees, it’s about time we head back.”

You take the lead while Finnick lags for a moment.

The walk back is filled with questions, and more banter back and forth. By the time you get to the beach, the others are ready to go. Everyone packs up their shit--not that there’s much in the first place--and then you all head into the jungle, one by one.

Finnick, Beetee, Peeta, Katniss, Johanna, and then you. Johanna and you had a power struggle for a moment, until Finnick said that you probably should be kept away from Katniss and Peeta since you’re more dangerous than you let on. Johanna laughed in your face, but didn’t argue.

You guess that he isn’t wrong. You could take any of their weapons and thrive. One of the perks of being a games-trained tribute, rather than an unsuspecting child. You were taught to be able to use anything, which doesn’t mean that you don’t have preferences when it comes to certain things, of course.

You’d prefer an sai because it’s able to disarm people pretty quickly. It’s unrealistic in a deadly fight though, so you’d always go for something more simple as a sword. You would have picked that instead, if it weren’t for the fact that swords are basic, and have average reach. A glaive, a spear, or a trident is a complete different story.

Throwing a glaive is going to be easier than throwing a sword. They’re built different, swords are meant to slice through the air to move quicker. While the glaive, spear, or trident are specifically designed to be able to be thrown without fucking it up. If you threw a sword, with the handle and the blade that it has, it would spin through the air. While the others specifically have a pole made for throwing.

Also, the tip of the spear is meant to guide the rest of the weapon. It’s heavy in that one spot mostly, as the rest of it is light material--or it’s supposed to be, at least. It’s going to be a lot harder to throw one thing straight than the other.

As the sun gets lower, the jungle gets darker. The heat might be less, but that doesn’t stop the humidity. You’re sweating out all the water you drank before this hike. The entire thing is uphill, and it’s pretty steep too. You can feel the burn in your calves from it.

Capitol music interrupts the silence. But while the others stop, you don’t bother. You can see their faces and their districts in your mind already. Cashmere and Gloss from District One, Cashmere being your kill, Gloss being Katniss. Wiress since Gloss has killed her before going down seconds later.

Mags because she died due to the poisonous fog in a noble sacrifice for Peeta. The girl from five, she drowned in the tidal wave that hit at ten this morning. Next is the female morphling that died for Peeta during the mutt attack, which was just an hour after Mags had died.

Blight, Johanna’s district mate because he ran head-first into the forcefield wall or whatever when he was blinded by the blood rain. The guy from ten died from an unknown mutt attack, which would later be the same fate for Chaff.

It’s you and Brutus, Beetee, Finnick, Johanna, and Katniss and Peeta left in here. Brutus is the odd man out, while the rest of you are in a supposed alliance. By now, in any other regular games, the tributes would be at each other’s throats already. If you all were careers--which, two of you are in this case--it would be even worse. 

People would be picked off in their sleep, there would be no time to sort a plan out. Let everyone run in different directions and go from there. If you come across each other, it’s a fight to the death. Unless they’re making mini allies after that. 

“Eager?” Finnick asks as soon as you get up to him.

“If I stop walking now, then I’m not going to get back up.” you tell him, “Plus I know everyone that’s died already, and you know the exact amount too. Take a look at your arm.”

“You won’t take a moment to honor them?”

“I had planned to kill half of them, so no, I really won’t.” you then pause for a second, looking at Finnick, “May Mags have peace, though.” 

Finnick cracks a smile, “You’re soft.”

You scowl at Finnick, before going back to the hill. Finnick keeps at your pace, and in no time, you’re reached the tree. Beetee passes you guys up.

“Minimal charring, impressive conductor… let’s get started.” Beetee says, heading over to the tree.

As everyone else follows him over, you decide to stay watch instead. Finnick doesn’t move either, probably deciding that it’ll be best to stick by your sick.

“Lost puppy.” you mutter.

Beetee gets the wire going around the tree, and since it’s made up of a bunch of small trees, Beetee focuses on those and not the one main part. It takes a while before he finally gets a rhythm down, he goes much faster after that.

And since he’s Beetee, he’s also blabbing his mouth while he does it, “Typically, a lightning strike contains five billion volts of energy.”

“Fascinating.” Finnick snickers, and you look over to give him a look of amusement.

“We don’t want to be anywhere in the vicinity when this hits.”

Beetee finishes up with the wire, and then he begins off in the direction that you guys came from, holding it out to Katniss, “You girls go together now, take this. Unspool it carefully, make sure the entire coil is in the water, you understand? Then head to the tree at the two o’clock center, we’ll meet you there.”

Katniss looks between Beetee and Johanna, like she doesn’t know what to think of this. Too bad for her, you’re not entirely sure either. You have no clue what the hell is going on, but from the look on Finnick’s face, he wants you to play along.

“I’m going to go with them as a guard.” Peeta says.

You laugh, “As if you’d be much help.”

“No, you’re staying here to protect me.” Beetee then adds, “And the tree.”

“No, I need to go with her.” Peeta says in a mock authoritative tone. 

“Brutus is the size of two careers, I need two guards.”

“Finnick and (Y/n) can protect you just fine.” Peeta tries.

“Last time I checked, you’re not a girl,” you lean on the glaive.

“Yeah, why can’t Finnick and (Y/n) protect you, and Peeta, Johanna and I take the coil?”

“You all agreed to keep me alive until midnight, correct?” Beetee comes closer, glasses halfway down his nose.

“It’s his plan, we all agreed to it,” Johanna says.

Finnick chimes in too, “Is there a problem, here?”

“Excellent question.” Beetee waits for an objection.

There is none, “No, there’s no problem.”

Katniss goes to say goodbye to Peeta, and you give a look to Johanna, “I’m not holding the wire.”

“I don’t plan on it either.” Johanna says.

Johanna gives Katniss another second before telling him to pick up the pace. After that, the three of you leave to go down the hill to the sand. As you go down the way you came, you realize that Johanna seems to have an entire path planned out, she’s got a goal.

As much as you hate to say it, you’ve got to follow her lead, especially if you might screw up whatever it is that she has to do. With what Finnick said and all earlier this evening, midnight or after. Six hours has come upon you guys quite quickly, it’s not even thirty minutes or so until the lightning does happen.

You go down the hill first, allowing Johanna and then Katniss go behind you. Johanna seemed to have wanted it this way, and she even encouraged you to be the one that went first. You’d like to be paranoid about it being because she can literally backstab you in this position, but you don’t have the energy for this.

You’d really like to know the point of going all the way up the hill to wrap a wire around a tree only for it to turn out that you’d literally be going back down the hill maybe an hour to a half hour later.

It’s mostly just silence, the most difficult part is going down the rocks. You use the glaive as a walking stick as you carefully lower yourself down onto each rock. With Johanna and Katniss, Johanna takes the bow from her to allow Katniss to get down safely. Also allowing her to focus on the safety of the wire.

Johanna hands the bow back, and then says, “Come on. I want to put as much distance between me and this beach as possible. Frying is not how I want to go.”

You guys walk a couple more steps, until the sound of the wire unspooling stops altogether, and Katniss comes to a halt too. When you turn around to see, the wire is pulled tight, and each time Katniss tugs, it doesn’t move.

“There’s something…” Katniss trails off, leaning forward a little bit.

This isn’t a coincidence, you give a look to Johanna just before the wire snaps, and she nods at you. The moment you look back at the place where the wire had been stuck, Brutus emerges. In the same moment, Johanna grabs the wire from Katniss and hits her over the head with it.

“Keep an eye on him.” Johanna murmurs lowly, and she doesn’t really have to tell you twice.

Whatever Johanna does, it makes Katniss scream. By the time Johanna stands again, there’s blood on her hands, you watch as she reaches for her axe, but you stop her. You grab the sai on your belt and throw it, before shoving Johanna to get her running.

She doesn’t hesitate, and she might even be grateful of the fact that she won’t be fighting Brutus with her two tiny fists.

“Is he following?” Johanna asks.

You pause for a moment, listening, until Brutus comes running at you from the fucking trees. You swing the glaive, allowing him to dodge and get out of the way. You slip under his arm when his attention is then turned to Johanna. After that, you scramble your way up to higher ground.

As you go up, you dig your hand into your boot, searching for the pocketknife. However, you can’t seem to find it at first. You stop, make your way up to the top of the hill first, before pulling the boot off. The knife drops into the leaves, and you pick it up, flicking it open.

After that, you take off running without the shoe. You can feel the rocks and needles poking into your foot with every single step you take. You keep an eye on your right, looking for Brutus’ shiny bald head in the moonlight. And when you’re sure you caught a glimpse of it, you take a couple of steps back.

You catch your breath the best you can, and when you feel the adrenaline run through your body like a shot of energy, you bolt towards the cliff. When you hit the edge, you push off, and pull the knife over your head. Johanna clearly sees you behind him, over him, flying down like an eagle catching its prey.

Then, you sink the knife straight into the back of Brutus’ neck. It doesn’t kill him immediately, but he does fall flat onto his elbows. It’s not over yet, the cannon hasn’t signaled so you pull the knife out and sink it straight into the back of Brutus’ skull.

The cannon goes off, and you dip your head a little bit, sucking in the air between your teeth.

“Shit.”

“Don’t fucking mention it.” you tell her, getting up again, “You should find Katniss, or whatever.”

“Yeah, you’re okay?”

“Are you? I left you alone for a minute.”

“No dents.” she says.

She takes off after that, and you nod a little to yourself. You take the same path that you did the first time, finding your shoe at the top. You yank the sock off, shove your foot into the boot, pick up the glaive and then start towards the tree. You only know you’re heading in the right direction when you can see glimpses through the trees.

You slam into something solid, but you grab onto it before you bounce off. It takes you a second to realize that it’s no tree, it’s Finnick. His eyes are wide and he looks over you.

“Who’s blood--”

“Brutus, he’s dead. Johanna went to look for Katniss.”

“Peeta ran off when the cannon--we need to find Katniss first.”

“What’s the plan?” you ask, stopping Finnick.

“Find who you can and bring them back to the tree.”

This is chaos.

“Okay,” you agree, “Yeah, alright.”

You go to go by yourself, but Finnick pulls you along with him. The two of you run through the trees a little bit as he calls out for Johanna, and Peeta and Katniss. When you guys take a moment to get your heads back, you suggest that they might have just gone back to the lightning tree.

“Yeah--okay.” Finnick says.

“I’m going to look for another minute or so, I’ll be there in a second.” you push him.

“No, come with me.”

“Finnick, if they’re not at the tree, they’re out here.” you pause for a second, “I’m not going to kill anyone, promise. Just go.”

He clearly doesn’t want to agree, but he heads in that direction anyway. And just as you said, you search the ground, in the bushes, leaves and trees. You’re mainly hoping that Peeta is pulling his stupid camoflauge stunt, but you’re not entirely sure how he would have enough time to do that.

Nevertheless, you kick in bushes, and peek into trees that are split open. You sweep your foot between rocks, hoping that you’ll find something squishy, or a groan of complaint, but there really is nothing. 

Another couple of minutes, and then you decide that they have to be back at camp at this rate, right?

“Johanna?” you yell, fed up with this quiet game, because there is no threat anymore, “Peeta?”

Just as there’s rustling in the leaves, an explosion goes off above you. You crouch, covering your head as you meekly look to see what caused it. Your mouth falls open when you see the sky of the arena is black, and the hexagons that hold the arena together, are coming loose.

“What the fuck?” Johanna asks.

“Did you find Peeta?”

“No, Finnick or Katniss?”

“Finnick went back to the tree.” your voice sounds far away.

The hexagons are falling now, the mouth of the arena is now on fire. You can see all the construction that’s behind the making of these places. The tree is so far up the hill, it would take a lot of energy to run all that way again.

Neither you or Johanna move, though, staring at the opening. Then, a familiar black mass appears in the bright blue sky, lowering a claw. All the way down, until it sweeps up Beetee.

You start moving towards the tree, keeping your eyes on the hovercraft, watching as it gets dropped down a second time.

“(Y/n)--!” Johanna starts.

“I’m not staying in here!” you yell back at her, “I’m getting the fuck out of here even if it kills me!”

You struggle going up the ledge of dirt, and then the rocks too as you try not to make them dislodge and tumble. Johanna doesn’t follow you, almost like she knows something and you don’t.

The claw goes down a third time, and some sick feeling in your stomach tells you that it’s the final time. You push yourself the best you can, but you can feel your body giving up already. And just as you make it into the clearing, Finnick is already getting lifted into the air.

The ground shakes with every hexagon that falls. The jungle is on fire, and you can smell the burning wood, giving you a headache. But you don’t move from where you’re standing, watching as the claw is brought in. And just as you anticipate it coming out the fourth time.

The hovercraft flies away.

[nimmy22]

A Mistake: Chapter 9

Sweat covered her skin as the top of her head rocked against the trunk of Wesker's car. Every bump on the road jolted her body, rattling her clenched teeth. Cara felt suffocated in the plastic bag sticking to her skin with sweat. Wesker had insisted on no clothes, but at least he had the decency to turn around as she stripped fully before placing herself in this predicament. Not every girl who finds herself naked in the trunk of a car necessarily wished for it. Yes, she had begged Wesker for help, but that did not mean she will raise the negative star rating for this shady transportation trip where she was cargo.

Wesker told her very little about where they were going. In fact, he did not speak the whole way. She really hoped he hadn't forgotten about her. Her eyes kept drifting closed only to blink wide as the dispatcher spoke over the police radio. "Calling all available units. Hostage situation at Bernard 667. Back-up needed."

"Looks like I'll have to leave you with my contact. I am needed back at work," Wesker said, keeping his eyes on the dark road. It was bad timing, but he was forced to keep up pretenses. He will simply have to trust his contact to take care of things.

Cara recognized it as a street on the less fortunate side of town, a bank not two blocks from her apartment building. Something like this should not be unusual on that side of town, but there had been a massive decline in criminal activity in the city for years.... until now. Cara hoped this was a one-time thing and did not mean something larger. She asked nothing about who the contact was, knowing questions are often useless with Wesker.

The drive felt like an eternity, a suffocating one. Her motion sickness came in waves, crashing into her with powerful currents before receding. She dry heaved several times, but her stomach was emptied long before she entered the car. She was exhausted and dehydrated. Her muscles moved weakly, barely holding her up as she lay on her side.

Soon the gravel road became smoother and less bumpy as Wesker pulled into the garage of a house on the outskirts of Raccoon City. The doors slid shut after them, keeping out the only light in the space. Wesker did not exit the car nor turned off the car's ignition. Two men marched straight for the trunk and dragged a bewildered Cara out. To Wesker, she resembled a cat who was about to be thrown into a bath. It was a delicious sight he enjoyed behind his shades.

Cara pushed and shoved, feeling unfamiliar hands lifting her body as soon as the trunk opened. The darkened garage made it hard to discern the tools pinned to the walls or much of the men's faces. Her muscles tightened as she struggled to plant her feet on the ground. But no matter how hard her aching muscles fought, more hands griped her, restraining her movement. Catching Wesker's glare in the rear-view mirror, she froze. His eyes weren't reassuring nor held a touch of warmth. They threatened her, arresting her screams into muffled whines that barely left her lips. She looked away immediately, reminded by the amount of power he had over her life...and when it was time to die. The struggle left her, and she allowed the men to take her inside the home. No sooner did the door shut behind them did the car drive off. Swallowing the thickness in her throat, Cara's only wished to crawl into a hole and disappear.

Cara was led into the center of a pale white room with no furniture or windows. Before she could ask about where she was, a high-pressured hose blasted her with ice-cold water with a bruising force. She was left coughing, lips trembling as she weakly cried, "p-please s-stop."

No matter where she cowered in the small room, the water would still blast her. There was nothing to hid behind. She had only her hands to shield herself, but that could only do so much.

They didn't stop, only switching to blasting her with a strong-smelling chemical that had her eyes burn before it even made contact with them. Someone came in and scrubbed her nails, cutting them so close to the nail beds that they bled. Chemicals were forced into her mouth, and she was ordered to gargle but instead choked, burning her lungs. She soon realized she was being disinfected from all evidence of the day that lingered on her body. By the end of the ordeal, she felt as if she had lost layers of skin, standing naked, huddled, and shivering. By the time they were satisfied, her hair was rough and brittle, reddened skin scrubbed raw, not having enjoyed such a rough spa day.

Only at the end did they bandage her up, using the least noticeable means. A powerful ointment was evenly spread on the bump on her temple, already bringing the swelling down within hours. The bandages were very close to her skin tone. Strangers and possibly friends may not give it a second glance.

They coached her on what to say and do as a cover-up, a very aggressive acting lesson she would never forget. They created a story for her, drilling it into her mind. she felt like she was being forced to sign a false statement during an intensive interrogation. They didn't hurt her physically, but their words shattered the edges of her sanity.

The cover story was that Cara and Rick went for a hike in the Arkley forest. They had a good time and split ways just before evening. Cara had to go babysitting while Rick got a call from his dad, asking him to drive to the next town for a meet-up. His parents lived apart, divorced for several years. This was nothing new. Rick met his dad all the time behind his mom's back. He took the car and drove off, and that was the last time she saw him. Cara's alibi was that she was watching over Sherry for the Birkin’s. This was the story she was told to feed her friends and anyone who cared to ask. They assured her that the likelihood of any police officers approaching her with questions was low. They had people on all levels of the police force.

Given an ill-fitting pair of jeans and a dark sweater, she was again in the trunk of another car with no clue of the destination. She didn't realize she dozed off until the trunk popped open, and she was roughly shaken awake. Unfocused eyes blinked against the bright light before focusing on her surroundings. She recognized Wesker's garage, feeling a ting of relief at the familiar surroundings before more uncertainty filled her.

Stepping out of the car on shaky legs, Cara almost fell but held onto the car for dear life. As soon as she was no longer behind the car, it pulled out of the garage, silently driving off. She stood frozen, numbly staring even after the car was gone and the garage doors slid shut.

In a trance, her feet carried her inside, roaming through the home only to find it empty. Despite knowing Wesker had to go back to work, she half expected him to be home waiting for her. she felt as if she had been with those people for years, but it likely had been only a couple of hours. The only sound was the pitter-patter of her feet and her occasional sighs.

She sat on the living room couch, her back straight and her hands folded on her lap. Blankly she stared at the TV's pitch blackness, and what began as a tiny giggle became full-blown hysterical laughter and sobbing. Her reflection on the TV was the funniest joke she had ever seen.

------------------------------------

By the time Wesker had arrived, STARS had already infiltrated the bank neutralizing all but one robber. Wesker tsked, leaning against his car with a frown. Behind his shades, his eyes burned into the vehicles used by the STARS members.

They should have had everything under control hours ago. Wesker admits he may have been too lax on them the past few days due to a... particular distraction. Hating the inferior desire to justify failure with excuses for the incapability of his squad to take care of such a minor incident, he promised himself to go harsher on them.

While he usually had his emotions under control, he couldn't help but tap his foot, arms crossed. He wanted to check on Cara. The Robins were affiliated with Umbrella, and they weren't known for being tender with kids. Umbrella rathered, silencing than keeping silent. It was much easier to kill the loose ends. Still, Umbrella did employ the Robins' cleaning services from time to time.

If Cara wanted to survive in this world, she would have to endure and continue to endure. It would be a fun game to see whether she would leave his house and try to run. He loved cornering her, watching as she helplessly looked for an escape.

Forcing his thoughts to the present situation, Wesker gave an unkind smile. Several fools made the mistake of thinking that such a peaceful town had no way of protecting itself. All they likely saw was a city belonging to no other criminal organization, a free turf for them to set up shop for their business. With the misconception of an underfunded police department, they were too blind to see the monsters lurking in the deep waters they jumped into. No lifeguard could save them now. They were already dead. Wesker smirked, already knowing which potential project he will 'volunteer' them for.

His smirk disappeared as he glanced down at his watch, realizing his team took yet another ten minutes to do the job. This incompetent behavior was wearing him thin. Tomorrow they will pay for this, first thing in the morning.

----------------------------------------------

Wesker didn't have to look very hard to find Cara. His eyes were drawn to her as soon as he stepped into the living room. Plopping down beside her on the couch, Wesker placed an arm on the back of the couch behind her. He regarded her with a knowing look, "Rough night?"

"Sherry was wild today. Running after her was exhausting." without looking his way, she answered in a practiced voice, already using what she was forced to learn. she could almost feel them breathing down her neck, waiting for a single slip of the tongue to put a bullet between her eyes. "Some boy tried to kiss her at the school playground, and she didn't like it. she was very upset took it out on me."

"Someone most definitely taught that boy a lesson, didn't they, dearheart?" he glanced at her with a knowing look.

"He definitely won't ever try that again. His lesson was too real." her voice grim, eyes cast on the ground. She brought her knees to her chest and hugged them, resting her chin on top. She couldn't help but shiver, feeling the room lose a few degrees.

"Kids these days need better parenting, thinking they are entitled to everything only because their parents made them believe they are special. Every year, I am forced to entertain pathetic, talentless children at the annual school field trip to the police station. It's ridiculous how many of them simply believe they are cut out to be police officers simply by wanting it."

"That’s a dark outlook, especially from a dirty cop. You're not exactly a model officer." she couldn't help but smile. Oh the irony.

"Contrary to what you believe, I do my job too well. Except for tonight, offenders have either been dealt with or they up and left the city to work elsewhere. We don't leave a single crack for them to even dream of continuing operations. I created and trained a team of the best there is, and if it wasn't for them, the hostage situation would have ended very differently tonight."

"Did anyone get hurt?" she whispered, dreading the answer despite how everything that happened today. She still felt worried for Chris. He was all Claire had.

"Only those who deserved to," with a gloved finger under her chin, Wesker lifted her head to meet his eyes. His words struck Cara deeply, stealing her breath. She knew he wasn't talking about STARS. He meant Rick.

"But that's-" a gloved finger pressed against her lips.

"If it still bothers you, I can hug it all better." flames lit Cara's cheeks that even the faint glow of the living room couldn't hope to shield it from Wesker. He never misses any details, no matter how minute.

"N-no! That's not necessary." she stuttered, jumping to her feet.

"You're a mess. Come here." a firm tug on Cara's wrist pulled her against him. She pushed against his chest, trying to get off as his arms encircled her. She tried her best not to get distracted by the feeling of Wesker's muscles against her hands. His body wrapped her in warmth.

"Let go. I don't need a hug," Cara snapped, her voice embarrassingly weak and breathless.

"Did you say something, dearheart? I cannot hear anything over the pounding of your heart. It's almost going 90 a minute. tell me, what's the matter."

"Why do you have to be like this?"

"You mean supportive? Attentive? comforting?"

"How is this supportive? You're just messing with me." having been freezing cold for most of the night, this tiny bit of warmth allowed her endless comfort. After everything that happened today, she could use something as simple as a hug- even if it was from a well-dressed serial killer. It's not like she was innocent anymore. Her right to judge him is long gone. She sighed, releasing all the tension from her muscles as she rested her head on his shoulder. "Just don't complain that I'm too heavy. remember, you offered me."

With his hand tracing strokes over her back, several minutes of silence passed, neither of them changing positions. Cara's heart left the race, taking a rest from the overdrive. As much as she wanted to deny it, she liked how Wesker held her, touched her. No one had ever treated her like this before. She insisted these strange feelings and ideas were due to being in a state of vulnerability thanks to tonight's events. Wesker came to her in her moment of weakness. That had to be it. With that as an excuse, she snuggled even closer, savoring the scent of his cologne.

"I thought you were above skipping school to hook up with boys." he just had to ruin the moment. Cara did not miss the way his arms tightened around her, fully noting how his muscles shifted. What was his problem, she wondered? Was Wesker worried she would spill everything to some guy?

"I... I thought he was my friend.”

"Do not repeat this mistake. Everyone has their secrets. You can't ever know someone well enough to fully predict their every move."

"Ok, ok. I learned my lesson. No going to the woods alone with boys. I'll keep to the public spaces." Cara rolled her eyes, the last thing she needed tonight was a lecture on what she already knew.

"That won't do either."

"What? Am I supposed to quit dating just because of one super horrible date?" Cara pouted, crossing her arms as she glared at him.

"You forget your life is in my hands." Cara found his excuse ridiculous. He had no good reason to control her social life. She didn't go and run her mouth to anyone about what she saw, so why did he think he had the right to meddle in her affairs?

"Yeah, you like to remind me very often."

"Only because you seem to forget,"

"I think it's time I went home," she said, untangling herself with surprisingly no resistance from him. he let her slide off his lap, following her as she not so subtly rushed to the door. She was half expecting him to wrap a hand around her throat and end it all.

Before Cara could open the door, she was pressed against it. His arms caged her as she felt every contour of his body against hers. Her heart thundered in her ears, heat rising to color her cheeks before taking a detour to pool between her legs. Her body betrayed her, responding to the touch of a serial killer.

"You'll likely be needing a new place to live soon," he whispered in her ear, lips brushing her skin like velvet.

"What?" she asked dumbly, unable to entirely focus on his words with the way he leaned into her.

"How are your parents doing?" it was like an bucket of ice was poured over her head. She furrowed her brows, not knowing where he was taking the conversation.

"They're...fine. Keeping busy...somewhere," Cara lied, biting her tongue. But was it a lie? There wasn't all that much reason for them to be hurt. Wherever they went its was probably safer than here.

"If you see them, tell them I said hello," he said, stepping back.

Cara had to lean against the door to stop herself from sliding down, her knees shaky, her mind troubled by all these cues.

Why would he say 'if' rather than 'when' she would see them? Did he know something he wasn't letting on?

Why was he being so confusing? One minute he was cold, threatening, abandoning her with those horrible people and the next he was trying to hug her, stealing touches at every chance.

She just needed to get back home, there she could think more clearly.

-----------------------

That night, Cara slept in her parent's bedroom, surrounded by their fading scent. Despite everything her parents did to her, she felt comforted on their bed, like a kid again on an overly large bed. A kid who knew nothing of the world's cruelty. A kid who did not have to kill for survival.

[sophielovesbarnes]

Longing

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Angst and a bit of smut

Request: Hiya 😊 I'd love to request something with Bucky please! When they held him captive at Hydra he saw another prisoner (the reader) but he was still in the WS mindset, like not really caring. But once he escaped he started to remember her and he goes back to save her because he felt somethingforher? If that makes any sense lol thank you so much in advance ❤

Author note: Hey! I’m so sorry this took so long, but here it is, i hope you enjoy it,let me know what you think.

Requests are open. 

It’s the fifth night in a row he gets woken up by the same nightmare. He is back in Hydra. He’s on the chair, and his nightmare is filled with screams. The thing is that the screams he listens to are not his, they are someone else’s. He recognizes the screams; he knows he has heard them before, every time he replays them in his mind the memory of y/e/c eyes and soft y/s/c skin floods his mind.

Suddenly he finds himself longing for someone he barely remembers, and it steals all his concentration, he can’t focus, he can’t eat, or sleep, or aim, and it is driving him crazy.

How can he feel something so intense for someone he doesn’t know? 

He goes to the kitchen because he knows for a fact that he won’t be able to get any more sleep, so he drinks, because he hopes that vodka will numb the way he feels his chest rips apart, leaving a bleeding hole behind.

He has to find her; she has got to be real.

“I’m starting to believe you don’t sleep man.” Sam takes the bottle from his hands and stares at him. “Isn’t it a bit early to drink?”

Bucky snatches the bottle back from his hands and gives him a death glare.

“Piss off, shouldn’t you be sleeping?”

“We could ask you the same thing.” Steve adds.

He hesitates but after a few moments he gets to the decision that speaking about it may make things better.

“Can’t sleep.” Steve sits next to him and looks at him with attention. “I keep having the same nightmare, I’m with Hydra and I hear a girl scream, they are torturing her and I can’t do anything about it, and I want to do something, I really do, but I can’t.”

“I just keep thinking about her...” He takes a sip straight from the bottle and then continues. “What if she is real? What if she is not a product of my mind?”

“I hear you man, but we have wiped out every single Hydra facility, there was no girl.” 

“Yeah, I know.” He puts the bottle down, and he rubs his face. “It’s just, she feels so real.”

“Then let’s look for her, maybe she escaped, I mean, you made it out, maybe she did as well.” Steve adds.

“How do we find her?” 

“Same way we found you, we look into their files, we ask around, we find a trail and find her, what do you know about her? Name, age, anything?”

“No, I don’t remember anything, I remember her face, her eyes, but no name.”

“We’ll find a way, Buck, we will.” 

***

Your name comes to his mind one night, and it hits him the same way that waves hit rocks in the open ocean, it drains all the air from his lungs and leaves him heaving desperately trying to recover himself from it.

Y/N Y/L/N.

It echoes in his mind, over and over, the gale of emotions hitting him over and over again mercilessly.

Y/N Y/L/N. 

Y/N Y/L/N.

He remembers your name, he remembers everything, he remembers how fiercely you fought every day, how you never gave up, he remembers your y/e/c eyes filled with fear every time they dragged you to the chair, he remembers how you looked at him, begging for help, he remembers how he did nothing and just stood there watching them torture you. 

He remembers everything, and he has got to find you.

He will find you. 

****

The hardest thing of being a runaway is not being able to have a home, the idea of having strings and a place to call home felt unreachable, every day you are haunted with the memory of soft blue eyes, torturing chairs and echoing screams.

You are filled with rage; they stole your home, your childhood, your innocence; Hydra took everything from you, and you were going to make them pay.

You are a mutant, with the ability to heal any wound and learn everything about any person with just touching them, that’s why they took you when you were only ten.

For years Hydra used your gifts to get information from their enemies and heal the Winter Soldier after his missions.

He was the one who took you away from your home; the Winter Soldier, but your hate has never been directed towards him, you knew his story, you knew they took as much from him as they took from you. 

For some reason you always felt attracted to him, like a magnetic force was calling you, as the years passed your attraction did nothing but grow; until he disappeared after the Triskelion incident, leaving you alone and heartbroken.  

And you stayed there, until the base where you were being held captive was attacked, giving you the chance of escaping, while everyone; including the Maximoff twins, were too busy defending the base you were able to take down the few guards that stayed behind and finally find your freedom. 

It was easy to find your way out of Sokovia, and after that you never stopped running, not even when the Earth was attacked by aliens again, not even when half of the world was turned to dust. 

But then one day people started to come back, families were reunited and the earth seemed to go back to normal, which meant that the last bits of Hydra that were scattered around the world were back as well. 

So you went back to running, changing looks, country and identity every couple months, that seemed to become a routine until one day you saw him on TV, the White Wolf, the companion of the new Captain America, Sam Wilson.

It was him.

The Winter Soldier. 

So he made it out, he is free now, and the fact that he was willing to show himself on open TV meant one thing and one thing only, every single last bit of Hydra was taken down and he had broken down their programming, gaining himself back.

You grabbed your backpack and filled it with the few things you had, getting ready to leave yet another city, you throw the bag over your shoulders and leave the tiny apartment with a mission on your mind.

You had to find James Buchanan Barnes.

***

Since he remembered your name he hasn’t been able to take you out of his mind; out of the sudden he finds himself drowning in your memory, kind eyes, soft skin and plump lips, one day it hits him.

He is in love with you.

He is desperately and irrevocably in love with a woman he barely remembers; he is in love with a ghost and he is willing to do anything to find you.

All they have been able to find is a file, left behind on a Hydra base, there isn’t much, just a log of your reaction to the chair and a picture of you, that he cherishes as his most valuable possession. Every single system Stark owns is now programmed to locate you, Stark created an algorithm (whatever that is) that is supposed to catch any move you make. 

When that happened he would get alerted of your location and finally he would be able to find you.

He was scared of course. 

After all, he was the one who kidnapped you, he stood there watching them torture you, he abandoned Hydra without ever doing anything to rescue you.

So with all of that, what if you hated him? 

Of course you would be entitled to do so, but he knew he wouldn’t stand the hate in your eyes; so he makes a decision, when they find you he won’t do anything to approach you, he just wants to know that you are alive, safe and sound, that will be enough.

“You know that staring at the screen won’t make it work faster, right?” His train of thought is interrupted by the voice of his best friend, he gives a huff in response without taking his eyes away from the monitor. “When was the last time you slept?”

“I don’t know, Tuesday?” He answers absentmindedly.

“Buck, it’s Friday, you have got to stop, this isn’t healthy.”

“I have to find her Steve, I hurt her so bad, and I just need to make sure she's fine.”

“We don’t even know if she is still…”

“If she is still what? Say it Steve.”

“We don’t even know if she is still alive, you were in Hydra for 70 years Bucky, for all we know she could be long gone.” 

“Until the opposite is proven, she is alive, I know she is, I can feel it.”

“Okay Buck.” Steve says softly. “We’ll keep looking.” 

“Captain Rogers.” Announces a robotic voice that Bucky has learnt to identify as F.R.I.D.A.Y. “Thor, Bruce and the Maximoff twins are back from their mission.”  

“Thank you F.R.I.D.A.Y. any updates on the search?”

“Nothing yet, I will inform you as soon as there is a match.” 

Bucky barely registers the interaction, he is lost in your eyes, they scanned the picture and it is now displayed on real size on the screen, he longs to touch you, to trace your soft cheeks and to join his lips with yours. 

“That’s Y/N.” That single comment snaps him out of his train of thought, he turns around and sees Wanda standing on the door. “Why are you looking for her?” 

“Wait, you know her?” He jumps out of the chair and goes to her. “Wanda?

“Yeah I do, she was kept on the Sokovia base with us, she used to heal us after Hydra’s experiments.” Wanda replies. “She was the only kind person in there.”

“How long ago was that?” 

“I’m not sure, but she was still there when Steve and the rest of the team took down the base.”

“Steve?” He asks, with desperation in his voice. 

“We checked the base Buck, she wasn’t there.” 

“Are you sure, maybe they took her with them?” His heart is racing so fast he feels it might escape his chest. “Maybe she was still there and you didn’t see her?” 

“There was no one there Buck, I promise, but this is good, it gives us a place to start.” 

“We have to go there, there might be a clue or something that can lead us to her.”

“Let’s go then.” 

Fifteen minutes later he is in the Quinjet, together with Sam, Steve, the twins and Natasha. He can barely breath and he is so nervous he feels he might throw up, this is the first real clue they have, and even though he is trying to stay positive his mind can’t help but wander around the worst case scenario. 

You could be dead.

He shoves the thought away and takes a deep breath. 

Soon he will see you. 

***

After a lot of meditation you make a decision you are probably going to regret.

You are going to the Avengers compound.

It’s the first place that comes to your mind, if James is working with Captain America again he has got to be there, or at least a clue of him.

It’s a risk of course, you know for a fact that they have very tight security protocols, especially after Thanos’ attack, number two, they probably relate you as an Hydra agent and it can be troublesome to prove the opposite.

You know that it’s your best shot to find him, even if you are not sure if he wants to see you.

But right now your main concern was getting there, without a passport or any kind of document to prove your identity there was no way you could get out of the country, leaving Sokovia wasn’t hard, you had left during the raid and hotwired a car, you spent the next few years traveling from one place to other, eventually your path lead you to Spain, once you were there it became easy to blend in.

But getting out of Spain was a complete different issue. 

First things first, you had to get documents, you also had to plan your escape in a way that went unnoticed by Hydra or any other organization that had you as a target. With the Sokovia Accords the mere fact of being a mutant became a dangerous situation. 

Getting the documents wouldn’t be so hard, you knew that Rodrigo; a habitual customer of the coffee shop you worked on, who later became one of your only friends; had a money laundry business, and that he was well connected with people that could make excellent forgeries, the tricky part would be getting him to trust you enough to tell you. 

But he was the only person you knew that might have that kind of connection, so you had to take the risk. 

So the next day you go to work determined to talk to him, at ten o’clock in the morning he crosses the door and orders his usual cappuccino and a spanish ham tapa. 

“Okay Y/N, it’s now or never.” You whisper to yourself and put a fake smile on your face. 

“Buenos días Rodrigo.” Good morning Rodrigo. You ask with an almost perfect spanish accent.

“Hola Lidia, ¿como estais?” Good morning Lidia, how are you? Lidia was the name you had chosen as an alias, and it was still hard to get used to it.

“No tan bien, he tenido algunos problemas.”  Not so well, I have a problem.

“Lamento mucho oír eso, sabéis que podes contar conmigo para lo que sea.” I’m sorry to hear that, you know you can count on me for anything. 

“De hecho, eso quería hablar contigo, quería pedirte un favor.” Actually, I wanted to talk about it with you.  You sit on the chair in front of him and sigh.

“Lo que sea.” Anything 

“Necesito salir del país, mi abuela se encuentra muy mal.” I need to get out of the country, my grandma is very sick

“¿Necesitas dinero?” Do you need money?

“No, no es eso.” No, it’s not that.

“¿Entonces?” Then?

“Lo que sucede es que no tengo papeles, ni pasaporte, ni visa, ni nada, todo lo he perdido cuando salí de Sokovia.” The thing is that I have no papers, no passport, or visa, or anything, I lost everything when I left Sokovia. His face hardens and he looks away. “¿Conocéis a alguien que pueda ayudarme?” Do you know anyone who can help me?

“No se que te hace pensar que tengo ese tipo de contactos Lidia.” I don’t know what makes you believe I have that kind of connection Lidia. He says with annoyance.

“Por favor Rodrigo, te lo ruego, te juro que no se lo diré a nadie.” Please Rodrigo, I swear I won’t tell anyone.  You beg, he takes his keys and stands up. “Por favor.” Please

“Busca a Gary Rydell, estará en España por poco tiempo, se hospeda en el Royal Hideaway, si alguien puede ayudarte es él, decidle que vais de mi parte.” Find Gary Rydell, he will be in Spain for a couple days, he is staying at the Royal Hideaway if anyone can help you is him, tell him I sent you.

“Gracias Rodrigo.” Thank you Rodrigo.

“¿Y Lidia?” And Lidia?

“¿Si?” Yes?

“Ni una palabra de esto con nadie.” Not a single word of this to anyone. He takes the last sip of his cappuccino and leaves.

That very same day you are at the hotel he indicated, based on his memories Gary Rydell was a tall white man with the bluest eyes you had ever seen, you recognize him walking by the side of the pool, you decide that a straight approach is your best option, you walk towards him and he smiles. 

“Well hello.”

“Hi.” You smile back and run your fingers through your hair. “You are Gary Rydell.”

“That I am, you seem to know my name but I don’t know yours.”

“Lidia Aguilar.”

“Lidia, can I buy you a drink?”

“Sure.” You both go to the bar and order straight scotch for both of you.

“So, Lidia, what can I do for you?.”

“I have a problem, Rodrigo Ballesteros said that you are the right man to help me.”

“Straight to business, I like it, how can I help you?”

 “I need to go to the United States, but I don’t have any paperwork, let’s just say that Lidia is just a couple of years old.”

He takes a sip from his glass and gives you a coy smile.

“What you are asking for can be tricky to get, you need an American passport and ID and those aren’t easy to get.”

“I am ready to pay anything it takes.”

“It would be ten grand.”

“Dollars?”

“Euros baby girl.” He corrects, you knew it would be expensive, but thanks to an Hydra account you had managed to hack, money wouldn’t be an issue. 

“Alright, you got it.”

“But I’m afraid we might need to kill Lidia, it’s easier to get what you want with a name that already exists.” 

“Okay, that’s fine.” 

“Very good Lidia, we have a deal.”

Two weeks later you have assumed a new identity, Gary managed to get one that had your real name, you are now Y/N Talbot, a Californian girl that spent the last few years traveling. You have a one way plane ticket to New York. 

****

The trip to Sokovia ended up being useless, there was no trail of you.

Wanda had managed to find the cage where you were kept in, there was a chair, similar to the one they used on him, the cell was made of three concrete walls and a glass one to keep you monitored. 

Being this close to Hydra made him want to throw up.

The worst part was that he had hit yet another dead end, he was back to square one. 

On the way back to New York, Bucky stays silent, even with Steve’s and Sam’s effort to cheer him up and make him speak. 

When they get to the compound he goes straight to the room where they had all the monitors and a glass board where he had pinned all the clues they had on you and starts to take it all down.

“Buck, what are you doing?” Steve asks with concern.

“This is pointless, we will never find her!” He knocks the board down and it shatters when it touches the floor. 

“You can’t give up.”

“We have been trying to find her for almost six months and we have nothing! We are as close to her as we were at the beginning!”

“Sergeant Barnes.” Says a robotic voice. “There is a match on Y/N Y/L/N.”

“What? Where?” Then an image is displayed on the screen. 

And it’s like he can breathe for the first time in years, you are alive, safe and sound, and more beautiful than he remembered, his memories never did justice to the real you.

He is so excited to see you, that it takes him a while to realize where you are. 

You are on the entrance of the compound. 

****

When you see him a part of you it’s brought back to life, like the final piece of the puzzle finally fell to place. 

He walks slowly towards you, like he is afraid of something. 

You close the distance and look him in the eyes, and then you know it. That you love him and you would do anything for him.

“It’s you.” 

Author note: I hope you guys liked it, let me know if you want a part two 

[holylulusworld]

In the Blue (2)

Request: Was thinking something angsty with Sebastian Stan & reader. His friend maybe tells him that she's not nice & is behind his fame & money so she's acting all nice. Once when she's talking abt someone else Seb thinks she's actually talking abt him. He acts cold towards her & throws her out on her b'day. He insults her in front of everyone & tells everyone how bad she is. She leaves the country & changes all the contacts. Seb sees her after 2yrs, with his child. Idk a happy ending??? 

I got inspired to write this sequel by Kelly Clarkson’s ‘In the Blue’ 

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader, Chris Evans x Reader (platonic), OFC Matteo Christopher, OFC Sarah Mitchell, Scarlett Johansson

Warnings: angst, unrequited love, sad reader, mentions of heartbreak/break-up, arguments, a hint of violence (a few slaps), Chris being a good bro, a hint of daddy!Sebastian

You love me not masterlist

Chris tried everything to distract you, to make you feel comfortable while Sebastian wouldn’t stop calling him, asking how you are doing. It’s three weeks since he saw you again and he tries anything to get in touch with you.

Your eyes drift toward your son, playing in the sun with his nanny. Loretta is an experienced nanny, almost like a mother to you and a grandmother to your son. She knows what happened and told you to kick your ex-boyfriends’ ass. But honestly, you are too exhausted, too tired of fighting with Sebastian to do so.

He doesn’t know where you are living, no one of your ‘old’ life knows, except for your parents and Chris. Your best friend had to swear to never tell Sebastian where to find you. 

The man ripping your heart out, the man not believing you is in your past. There is no turning back from what he did to you.

Sebastian is determined to get to know his son, but you don’t care. He could’ve been a father two years ago, share the experience of pregnancy and giving birth with you but he was busy pleasing his friend, Sarah, instead of standing up for you.

Christopher is squealing, as you smile him. Getting your phone you take another picture for Chris. He loves your son and you are sure he would be a great father, but your heart is still healing from the deep scar Sebastian left.

You want to trust a man again, but you are too afraid of getting hurt once again. Chris is a great man, but you can’t risk ruining your friendship. You will never be good enough for him either way…

Your son walks toward you, smiling and his blue eyes shine, reminding you once again of the man you loved and lost. Mind drifting toward better times with Sebastian you need to hold back fresh tears.

Some days I barely miss you

Some days I'm almost alright

Smiling you pick your son up, ready to head out to meet up with your friend. Chris invited you to visit the set, assuring you Sebastian won’t be there for another week. His role is not needed for the current scenes.

“Do you want to visit Uncle Chris?” You whisper.

Your son babbles when you carry him out of your house. For a moment you just hold him close, hold him tight to feel his little body pressed against yours.

Memories want to come back, reminding you of the feeling of Sebastian holding you in his arms but you shake the thought away. He made his decision two years ago. 

And some nights I turn to kiss you

But you're not beside my side

 ----

Making your way to the set you smile seeing Chris waving at you. Scarlett says something, and his features darken. She knows about the break-up and the reason behind it. She became a friend and you wonder why Chris is starting to run toward you until you see her…Sarah.

“I can’t believe you try to trick Seb with a fake pregnancy. Did you let a random guy knock you up to get him back or did you borrow the child?” She snarls striding towards you.

“I got no clue what’s wrong with your brain Sarah, but for sure I do not want him back. You can do whatever you want with him. I’m not interested in getting a man not standing by my side when I need him, back. Leave me and my son alone.”

She smirks, getting closer. Sarah has the guts to try to look at your son to see if he looks like Sebastian. Her smile falls seeing your son has the same features as Seb, his eyes and even his hair.

“Hands off Y/N’s son.” Chris is by your side, shoving you behind his back. “I got no clue why you are here or how you even got on set, but you will be gone in a minute. Scarlett called the security guards. Get lost, Sarah.”

“Is the little slut now using your fame and money?” She won’t give up, glancing at you with a toothy grin. “I mean I got Sebastian so she needs to find someone new.”

“You don’t get it, right? Y/N and Sebastian were in love. She was pregnant and he could’ve had a family with her. You destroyed his chance to get happy for selfish reasons. I can’t believe he fell for your lies.” Chris is shoving Sarah away, glaring at her. “One more word and I forget myself and slap a woman for the first time in my life. My parents raised me better, but I’ll do it if I have to…”

“Leave this to me,” Scarlett states rushing to her friends’ side. “I’ll hit that bitch with pleasure, Chris.”

“What’s going on…?” Gasping Sebastian rushes to your side, looking at his son in your arms and the tears welling up your eyes as Sarah throws more insults and hurtful words at you. “Why are you here, Sarah? I told you to stay away from me and the set!”

“But Sebby, I know you don’t mean it that way, we belong together. I told you two years ago.” Sarah coos, trying to touch Sebastian's cheek but he slaps her hand away, shaking his head.

“Leave the set…”

“Don’t worry, I called the security and there they are.” Scarlett waves at the security guards, pointing toward Sarah. 

She’s trying to grab Sebastian’s jacket, wiggling, and cursing but the security guards drag her off the set. Your eyes meet Sebastian, but you look away, sniffling. Seeing Sarah opened slowly healing wounds and you need all your strength to not let the tears burst free.

“Chris, can we go somewhere else? Please…”

“Sure, doll. Let me lead you to my trailer. We can have lunch and calm a bit.”

“Wait, let’s go to my trailer, please. I want to talk to you, Y/N. Just give me five minutes, that’s all I want.” Sebastian tries to touch your arm, but you flinch away as if his touch will burn your skin.

His eyes are filled with tears seeing your reaction. You used to lean into his touch, even if it was only a peck on your cheek but now you can’t let him touch you.

Yeah, my heart is wet and heavy but my body's on the run

'Cause the night is gonna get me and it's only just begun

I keep living on the memory of you and me

You, me in the sun, in the sun

“Please give me a moment to explain, Y/N. I swear I only want to talk to you, please.” Your eyes meet Chris blue ones and you bite your lower lip as he gives you a curt nod.

“Fine, ten minutes but my son stays with Chris meanwhile. I don’t want him to hear your lies.” Voice hard you smile at Chris who’s carefully taking your son, distracting the little boy immediately.

Sebastian watches his friend holding his son and his heart aches even more. He would do anything to change places with Chris right now.

“Follow me…” Seb mumbles and you take a deep breath, ready to leave your past behind once for all. Maybe it’s a good opportunity to make the final cut.

----

“Y/N…” Pacing around the room Sebastian points toward a huge bag. “I bought toys for my son. Can I give the toys to him, please?”

“No. We don’t need anything. My son has all he needs. Chris doesn’t need your gifts. I don’t want him to end up like me. He doesn’t need to hear his father believed his son faked loving him to get money or fame.” You spat ignoring Sebastian’s sad eyes.

“Please. I would never…”

“You would never what, Seb?” Poking your finger into his chest you glare at your former lover. “Tell him he was never good enough for you? That you can’t believe his lies any longer? That someone not involved in our relationship was more important than me – the woman you claimed to love? Huh? You wouldn’t do such a thing?”

Anger radiating through your body you slap his cheek repeatedly, turning to leave.

“You have to understand…no…you don’t have to but please… Sarah and I are friends since childhood. She was my first kiss with ten. I never thought she would lie to me, would destroy my relationship, Y/N. I thought she’s telling me the truth.” Sebastian’s voice cracks glancing at the toys in the bag.

“She was more important than me. You believed her and didn’t even give me the chance to prove I’m telling the truth. I could’ve called my colleague, could have called Jenny and both would’ve confirmed she’s lying.” Panting you press one hand onto your heart. It’s relieving to finally let all the words out. “I called you, Seb. For over a month I called you, crying, begging but you ignored me.”

Tears want to break free, but you blink them away, shaking your head as he reaches out for you. His eyes meet yours and you look away, to not drown into his sad blue eyes.

No matter where you are a little piece of my heart

Will be forever with you

In the blue, in the blue

In a thousand years, we'll be far from here

I'll be forever with you in the blue, in the blue

“Y/N…”

“I’m not done!” Slapping his cheek once again you stomp your feet and a little smile crosses his face. Sebastian always loved seeing you stand your ground. “You accused me that I only used you, that I never loved you, but you were the one tossing five years away without thinking twice. Do you know how often Sarah or someone else said you were flirting with one of your colleagues? With Scarlett or Elizabeth? I never believed a single word. I never asked you if it’s true. It’s called trust, Sebastian. The most important thing in a relationship besides love is trust…”

“I know, please give me a chance to be a father. Please let me hold my son for a few minutes. I’m begging you. I go on my knees if I must, please. I never got over you, never forgot our time together. Sarah admitted she lied a year after you were gone and I tried to find you, but no one knew where you moved to. Your parents refused to tell me anything…” Sinking to his knees Sebastian grabs your hand but you step back, freeing your hand.

“Don’t touch me…”

“Please let me hold my child…”

“Fine, five minutes and then I’m gone…”

----

Chris gives you an encouraging smile handing you your son. “I know he hurt you, but I think he’s regretting everything, and he barely sleeps since he saw you. He called me for months after Matteo was born but I told him I don’t know where you moved to…”

“I’ll give him five minutes and then I’m gone…”

Yeah, I'm running from this city like a diamond in the sky

 And I'm trying to count my blessings 'stead of all the tears I've cried

 I keep driving in this darkness to get you to get you off my mind, off my mind

I'll start over in a new place, put my feet back on the ground

 Can't believe the mess that I've made just trying to drown you out

 Baby, one day I won't miss you

 I'll stop looking for you in the crowd, in the crowd

Sebastian’s hands start shaking when you let him hold his son. Matteo is tugging at his father’s long hair, squealing. 

“He likes to tug at hair. That’s the reason I wear my hair in a messy bun around this little monster.” Not taking his eyes of his son Sebastian nods, sniffling when the little boy glances up at him.

“Dadda?” Matteo squeals and you take a deep breath, grabbing the edge of the couch you or sitting on. How can he know?

“What did you say, baby boy?” Sebastian chokes out. Your son grabs his fathers’ nose, babbling. “Dadda?”

“He called me daddy…he called me daddy…” Sebastian sits onto the couch, pressing his son closer to his body as you can’t hold back the tears. 

“I don’t know why…” You sniffle. “He only knows Chris and my dad. He never called Chris dadda.”

“My baby boy knows I’m his father, Y/N. He knows it. God, he knows I’m his daddy, Baby Girl. Please don’t take this away from me. I’m begging you…”

“Sebastian, you had your chance two years ago. Do you believe I can let you hurt my son too? That I could ever trust you again after the stunt you pulled?” Taking your son out of Sebastian’s arms you need to shush him as he starts crying. Holding out his arms for his father.

“I got toys…wait…”

Opening the bag Sebastian doesn’t know what his son likes so you place Matteo onto the floor to let him choose a toy. He’s grabbing a stuffed animal, a fluffy dog, squealing.

“He likes dogs. Chris brought his dog with him a few times. I had to soothe Matteo after as he wanted the dog to stay. He’s a stubborn little man, just like his daddy.” Gently stroking your son's head you watch him offering the toy to Sebastian.

“Please let me see him. I’ll come anytime you allow me to see him.”

No matter where you are a little piece of my heart will be forever with you

In the blue, in the blue

In a thousand years we'll be far from here

I'll be forever with you in the blue, in the blue

“I need time to think about it. I have to go…I need…” Picking your son up you almost run out of the trailer, not looking back you let the tears fall. How can your son call Sebastian daddy?

“Y/N, please wait. At least give me your number, at least give me anything. A picture…” Sebastian pleas while Chris and Scarlett try to act if they do not feel sorry for all of you. 

“Ask Chris, he was interested in me and your son. He has a lot of pictures. Let him send you one ‘cause I won’t give you anything. Not now…”

Sebastian watches you rushing toward your car, Matteo in your arms as he sinks to his knees starting to cry. 

I see your face in every stranger

Footsteps down the hall

Warm breath, back of my neck

Shadows on the wall

And your voice is loud as thunder hey

I can hear it crashing in my head, yeah

No matter where you are a little piece of my heart will be forever with you

In the blue, in the blue

In a thousand years we'll be far from here

I'll be forever with you in the blue, in the blue

I'll be forever with you in the blue, in the blue

All works Tags

@yolobloggers​​, @meganywinchester​​​, @shikshinkwon​​​, @miraclesoflove​​ ​, @mogaruke​​, @shatteredabby​​, @soryuwifeyxx​​, @letsdisneythings​​, @i-love-superhero​

Marvel Tags

@stuckys-whore​​, @notyourtypicalrose​​, @voltage-my2dlove​​, @thedoctorscamanion , @officialmarvelwhore​​, @randomgirlkensy​​, @juniorhuntersam​​, @lumar014​​, @doctorswife221b​​, @badboysdoitbetter2​​​, @sister-winchesters99​​, @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog​​, @the-soulofdevil​

Steve Rogers/Chris Evans Tags

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[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #446

“so you can throw me to the wolves  /  tomorrow i will come back, leader of the whole pack”

Favourite cheese? American. Superman or Batman? I know literally nothing of Superman, but I like Batman. Who are your best friends? The only person I consider a best friend is Sara. Name the 3 most important people in your life: My mom, Sara, and... I suppose myself since I cherish my mental health VERY deeply. Are you currently learning from anyone how to play any instruments? No. Do you know anyone who is overly flirty with people? Girl or a boy? In my personal opinion, yes. I do believe it's possible to be "overly" flirty, considering you can really lead people on. It's a she. Do you believe vampires are real? Not the stereotypical Twilight kind. No. Have you ever been to a porn website? Were you addicted to it afterword? No. I'm really not into that. What is the most disgusting thing you think the opposite sex can do? I think the most disgusting thing anyone can do is commit rape. Would you rather be able to teleport or freeze time? Which one seems best? I feel teleportation is obviously more convenient and useful in dangerous situations. Have you seen the movie Twister? Did the tornadoes look real to you? LKJFL;AKSDJFKLASJDLFKA;WE NOOOOOOOOOO. I am WAY too terrified of tornadoes to watch that. Have you actually been through a devastating natural disaster before? Hurricane Floyd was pretty devastating. I was too young to really remember it, though. Did your mom ever fix your eggs and bacon into a smiley face as a kid? She probably did. What fast food place, in your opinion, has the best french fries? BOJANGLE'S, AHHHHHHHHHHHH. Do you believe one day aliens might take over the planet Earth? I mean, it's possible, but I don't know. Do you remember when they used to actually throw candy out at parades? I didn't know they stopped. Does it bother you when people burp around you or do you do it too? I couldn't possibly care less, it's a natural bodily function. Just because of societal standards though, I don't burp in public, though, but only around family and close friends. What is one kind of music you’d do anything to not listen to in the car? Anything like rap that has a STUPIDLY loud bass that just annoys everyone within a ten mile radius. When was the last time you babysat, if ever? Did anything bad happen? A year or two ago, for my nephew. No one else was free to watch him, so I had no choice. Nothing bad happened, besides nearly having a panic attack. Do you ever talk to people you met online through webcam? Or is that weird? No. Even Sara and I don't do it, because I'm too self-conscious of how I look. Even though she's seen me plenty before irl. Would you ever consider becoming a scientist? Why would you or why not? Well, I majored in biology briefly... I wanted to be a wildlife biologist. I just adore animals and thought I could do it. I just couldn't handle school. When is the next time you’ll talk to the cousin you’re closest to? I'm not especially close to any of my cousins. Are you really into vintage things? Have you ever been into that stuff? Yessss! is writing something that you enjoy doing? Definitely. Would you rather read or write? Write. Would you rather draw or take photographs? If I wind up being very proud of the product, I prefer drawing, but I take pictures far more. When was the last time you cheated at something? I have no clue. Has anyone ever copied off of your homework assignments? I think so? Do you have any pictures of celebs saved to your computer? ... *stares at my folder labelled "Mark"* What would you consider your favorite holiday? Why is this? Christmas. I love the whole vibe of it. The weather, the smells, the treats, my niece's and nephew's excitement... I adore all the lights and decorations, the gratefulness for family and your loved ones in general... I just love Christmas. If you’re a girl, do you have big hips? Too big? I'd say my hips are normal. Girls, do you think you look good in dresses or not? God no. Not anymore. Have you ever taken a pottery class before? Nope. How many times have you seen Star Wars? Be honest. Once. I didn't like it. Has your best friend ever made you cry? Yes. But in her defense, we've both made the other cry. Have you ever entered a talent competition? God no, I ain't got shit to flaunt. Are you smiling in your Facebook profile picture? Yes. If you wear eye shadow, do you put on a dark colour or a light? And if you wear mascara, what colour is it? I only ever wear black for both of those. What is your favourite Christmas movie? Jim Carrey's How the Grinch Stole Christmas. What do you get complimented on the most? My Markiplier tattoo, actually. What do you think of your best friend’s ex? One I REALLY don't like, the other I'm neutral about. Are you biracial? No. Do you have Pop-Tarts in your house right now? No. We try to not buy them, given they're just TOTALLY empty calories. They don't fill me at all. Is anyone’s birthday coming up? No. Does/did either of your parents serve in the military? No. Do you like sour candy? I LOVE sour candy. Where would you like to go on your honeymoon? Alaska, to see the Northern Lights. Do you usually wear sunglasses when you’re driving? I haven't driven in well over a year. Hell, maybe two. But no, because I'd need prescription sunglasses. Ignoring nutrition, could you live off veggies for the rest of your life? God no. Has anyone taken their shirt off in front of you? Yeah. What time do you usually have dinner? 5:30-6:30, usually. What’s your favourite meat? Chicken, I think. What is your favourite meal of the day and why? Breakfast. I just enjoy breakfast foods. What colour is your shampoo? White. Tell me a silly little old wive’s tale you believed when you were a child: My older sister got me to believe that if you said a word a ridiculous amount of times, it'd be the only word you knew how to say anymore, lmao. Shut up, I was little. What was the last magazine you bought? Do you subscribe to any? I don't buy magazines. Whose Facebook profile did you last look at? Was there anything that caught your attention? Uh, that's a good question. Do you regret your last relationship? Not at all. What’s better, mashed potatoes or sweet potatoes? Mashed potatoes, though I'm picky with them and the texture. Did you ever used to make cookies, cakes, or pie with your grandma? No. Do you like kids? Not especially. They ask too many questions and can be really rude, even though I know they usually don't mean to be. What are you listening to? I'm watching Gab Smolders play Dino Crisis 2. I finished her playthrough of Final Fantasy X, so now I feel a void in my soul that I am trying to fill with a new series lmao. Do you burn incense? Not really anymore. I'm not against it, I just... haven't. What is your favorite kind of cracker? Cheese-Itz. Can you name a single song by Billy Joel without looking it up? Yeah; I can name a few, actually. My dad loves Billy Joel, so I heard him a lot growing up. "Piano Man" is a classic. Do you like regular peppermint candy canes, or do you prefer different flavored ones [fruits, bubble gum, cinnamon, etc.]? I actually really like the Jolly Rancher ones. Have you ever been kissed while sitting atop the hood of a car? That's actually possible... but I'm not sure. I think I have a faint memory of lying on a car hood with Jason before. What do you think is the dumbest/tackiest piercing? I don't like calling a piercing either of those, like if they make someone feel more confident and attractive, good for them. I can say I'm personally not a fan of the smiley piercing, though. Have you ever requested a song on the radio? No. When I was a kid at a birthday party, though, one of the girls did. Does your mother still take care of you if you get ill? She helps a lot, yeah. What is one song that always brings back memories every time you hear it? Honestly, too many. I attach way too aggressively to songs. Do you currently have any pimples? Not currently, no. Did anything disturb your sleep at all last night? Ugh, yes. I couldn't sleep for shit. How does it make you feel looking at pics with your ex and someone else? I have only seen one picture of Jason with the girl he dated after me and it. Set. Me. On. Fucking. Fire. It's pathetic. If you’re not in college, why? All it did was give me emotional breakdowns. What do you think about MTV? I am way too out of the loop on what goes on on any TV channel to answer this. What was your very first day of your very first job like? What’d you do? How long did it take you to get the hang of it, and feel comfortable with working? This was waaaay too long ago... All I remember is actually being hopeful, though nervous. I never got to the point of feeling comfortable there. Or at any job. If you have a dog, are they friendly to strangers or other dogs? We don't have a dog, but we do have a cat that is EXTREMELY skittish around strangers. Someone he doesn't know comes through the door? He's bolting to hide. Do people ever comment on or joke about your driving? Well, I got flipped off once by a driver, so... I'd consider that a silent comment. I, to this day, don't know why they (it was a group of guys) did it, but it's stuck with me. What was the last thing to move you? Are you easily moved or inspired? The ending of FFX alsdkfjkaljlkwjer. And yes. If you`ve ever seen your very favorite band, did you cry when you saw them? Was it like a dream come true? If you`ve never seen them, do you think you would? I haven't, but I probably would a little bit. Of all the reality competitions you’ve watched, who are some of your all-time favorite contestants and what shows were they from? From America's Got Talent, I adore(d) Landau Eugene Murphy Jr., as well as Prince Poppycock. I keep up with them both on Facebook. Ever had a friend named Alex or John? One of my closest online friends was Alex. A couple years ago she just... got a boyfriend and fell off the face of the earth. Are you happy with your relationship status? I mean... no, I'm ridiculously lonely, but being single is for the best right now. What kind of stuff do you like on your hot dogs? Just ketchup and mustard. Have you ever been in a spelling bee? No. What is the most annoying thing that your parents do? Mom absolutely always assumes she's right. Dad repeats himself like CRAZY. Would you say you’re someone who has good manners? Yes. Did you parents know what gender you were before you were born? Actually, the doctors couldn't determine mine (or any of Mom's kids') because my legs were ALWAYS crossed when they did ultrasounds. Mom says she "knew" I was a girl, though. Have you ever been addicted to something unhealthy? I'm addicted to caffeine, yes. Who makes the best desserts in your entire family? Hm, I dunno. Do you have good dreams or nightmares more? I have very severe sleep apnea that results in very violent nightmares almost any time I sleep without my APAP mask. Even WITH the damn mask, I have them a lot. When was the last time someone insulted you? What was the insult? *shrug* Do you have trouble reading small fonts? Yes. I used to find it aesthetically pleasing, but my vision is just too bad now, even with my (shitty) glasses. Do you know anybody that believes that magic/witchery truly exists? I think so. Do you find watching animals in their natural habitat to be exciting & fascinating? Absolutely!! The last time you had sex: did you want it, or did the other person want it? ... You know it's supposed to be a mutual desire, right?? What does your sibling(s) call you? "Britt." Has anyone you’ve known claimed to be psychic? Maybe? I'm unsure. Did/do you believe them? Hell no. I don't believe in psychics and believe people who claim to be so are manipulative pieces of shit. Is anything annoying you right now? I am bored to an inexplicable level askldjfla;wejlr. Have you ever worn a pair of scrubs? Yeah. Anything in your room that you’re hiding from your parents or someone else? No. Have you ever felt abandoned? Well yes. By definition, my dad abandoned our family. Where are you? I’m in my bed. What’s been the worst part of this day? I've just been so, so bored. I'm sick and fucking tired of dealing with anhedonia. Who last encouraged you to better yourself? My therapist.

[dhwty-writes]

Zutara Week Day 6: Affirm

I am really sorry for how I ended the chapter yesterday. Take this as compensation?

Be sure to check out the previous parts!

Read on AO3

Katara felt awful. She had felt awful before. Awful and heartbroken. When her mum had died or when her dad had left for the war. When she and Sokka had left the South Pole. And when she had broken up with Aang, of course.

But this? This was torture. Because Zuko and her hadn't broken up. He hadn't died or left, unsure when or if he would return. She had left him instead and all because she had caught some feelings and he had no clue. And didn't feel the same anyway.

He was always so worried about the Fire Nation and the laws and the economy, it was the only thing he was ever talking about. She hadn't even been sure if he'd noticed her.

And then he'd invited her to the garden and she'd thought, hoped, that maybe, maybe, he felt something, too. And when she had finally worked up the courage if all of that meant something- he'd said no.

So naturally, she had to leave.

She had made up a flimsy excuse about a pregnant Suki - which she was, and Katara was very glad for her and Sokka - and boarded the first ship to the South Pole to get the hell out of there. She was almost glad that Zuko hadn't noticed how feeble her pretext had been. Almost.

When she had arrived in the South Pole, she had been greeted by a very concerned Sokka and a very happy Hakoda. Yet, it had been Gran-Gran she'd ran to.

Gran-Gran with her open arms and her knowing glare who had just opened her door and told everyone to leave them alone. She had broken down on the polarbear-dog rug and cried. She had cried for hours, clinging to her grandmother for dear life.

"It hurts," she had sobbed, "it hurts so much. Gran-Gran, how do I make it stop?"

And the wise woman had just gently stroked her hair, rocking back and forth. "I know," she had whispered, "it is allowed to hurt. That way you can heal."

After two days of tears and self-pity Katara had pulled herself up. "I'm done with weeping," she had said.

And so, she was.

She went outside, relishing in the welcome feeling of being home. Oh, how she had missed it. The last time she had felt that way was when she had walked into a stuffy council room on some backwater island and found Zuko sitting there. She didn't allow herself to venture on that thought.

Instead she ventured out into the snow and ice with nothing but the clothes on her back. On day she stayed in the frozen wasteland, bending up a storm under the crushing pull of the full moon. After all that time in the Fire Nation where her powers were weak and withered, she had never felt this powerful in her life.

She returned with a fierce and wild look in her eyes and not even dared to talk back to her.

Then she calmed down.

Katara started teaching again, filling her days with the laughter of children and adults alike. She enjoyed the combat lessons as well as the healing sessions but what she loved most was that for the first time in her life she got to explore her element for fun. She raised statues and adorned houses with carvings, went penguin sledding and ice dodging and laughed until her sides ached.

And when they gathered around a fire in the night and Katara pulled children into her lap to teach them the stories of their ancestors that were written in the stars, maybe her heart ached, too. Because maybe she would have liked telling black-haired, blue-eyed children of the spirits dancing in the sky. Maybe she had even dreamed of it. But that would never come true, so Katara didn't think of it.

Instead she filled her days with laughter so she wouldn't drown in her tears.

 ~*~

 The war had ended over ten years ago and still the sight of black snow was enough to strike fear into her hear.

The small children stared in wonder but she saw the same panic that boiled in her stomach in the eyes of the men and women who still remembered. Instinct made them grab their children and run and Katara wanted to flee, too.

But instead she grabbed Sokka by the arm and ran towards the sea. "What is happening?" he asked breathlessly. "You don't think-"

"No," she answered and stood. There was no fleet of warships heading towards their shore. There was no fleet at all. Instead it was one single ship, painted in red and gold. "It's Zuko."

"Ah." Her brother straightened. "He sure took his time."

Katara whipped around and narrowed her eyes. "What did you do?" she hissed.

He raised his arms in defence. "Nothing!" he insisted and Katara didn't need Toph's abilities to know that he was lying.

She prodded her finger into his chest and growled: "We'll have words about this." before walking away to greet the Fire Lord.

The ship docked less than an hour later and lowered the bridge. Katara straightened herself, prepared for the host of nobles that usually surrounded the Fire Lord.

Instead only one figure stepped out, dressed in silk that was in no way appropriate for a South Pole autumn. "Hello, Zuko here," Zuko said. It was easy to imagine the sixteen-year-old boy who had showed up in the Western Air Temple, he looked almost the same. Even his hair fell into his face just like back then.

And it was also distressingly easy to conjure up the rage that had burned her from inside out back then. "What are you doing here?" she asked. She sounded furious and she knew that he didn't deserve that but she didn't know what else to say.

She could see how he glanced at Sokka, Hakoda and Suki beside her who stared at him with crossed arms - though Suki's threatening vibes were probably negated by the growing bump under her parka. "I, um- I missed you. So, I came to see you."

"We weren't made aware of a state visit," she countered coldly.

A hurt expression flitted over his face and Katara's stomach twisted painfully. "That's because it isn't," he said quietly. "I came here as myself. As Zuko, just Zuko, not the Fire Lord. I- I came because I missed you." He hunched his shoulders. "But if you don't want me here, I'll be on my way as soon as I can."

"Don't be silly," an old voice croaked. "Of course, she wants you here, boy."

"Gran-Gran!" Katara exclaimed concerned, "What are you doing out here? You should be resting!"

The old woman waved her aside. "I'll be fine, my child. I might not be a spring komodo-chicken anymore, but I can still decide when I can leave my house." She walked over to Zuko slowly and patted his hand. "You're always welcome here, boy. There's a room in Katara's house I'm sure she's happy to share. Right, Katara?"

"Right..." She couldn't very well say no to that, could she? She jerked her chin. "Come on then, bring your stuff."

They walked in silence over to her house. It was one of the first ones she'd ever built and therefore smaller than most. Still, there were two bedrooms, a kitchen and a bathroom and that was more than she'd ever had while growing up. And it was her own, so that was all it needed to be.

As soon as the door closed behind them, the silence broke. "Why are you mad at me, Katara?"

That phrase was all it took to make the tension leave her body. "I don't know," she admitted. "I guess I am not."

"Then why do you act like you're mad at me?"

She winced pondering on how to answer that without giving away that she was hurting. She was hurting and maybe if she pushed him away it wouldn't hurt as much. But even as she contemplated her options, she knew that it all was bullshit. "Why are you here?" she asked instead.

"Because I missed you." She winced. "Why did you leave?"

'Because I love you,' the realisation hit her like a gut punch.

"Katara," he pleaded, his fingers wrapping around her shoulders. "Look at me, please." Slowly she let him turn her around and raise her head. He studied her face for a long time, agony spreading on his features. "Why did you leave?" he asked again, his voice barely more than a whisper.

Tears burned in her eyes. How should she answer that? How could she answer that without ruining all that they had? Members of Team Avatar shouldn't date each other, she had tried it with Aang and it hadn't worked.

"Is it because of the dinner?" he asked and she had to close her eyes because that was just a bit too close to the truth. She heard him inhale sharply. "Then I'm sorry for that, Katara. I overstepped and clearly make you uncomfortable with trying something more-"

"No, Zuko, you don't understand," she whispered, "I wanted more. I wanted it to be more. And then you said-"

"Fuck."

"No, that wasn't it," she couldn't resist the joke and cracked one eye open. If the situation weren't so tragic, she would have laughed at the face Zuko pulled as if he was processing approximately twenty-five distinct emotions at the same time.

He held up one day. "Wait, wait, wait. Say that again?"

"Say what again?"

"You wanted it to be more?"

It took all her self-restraint not to wince. "Yes, Zuko. I would have liked it to be a date."

"Fuck," he said again and stumbled backwards. "Oh, shit, I fucked up."

She frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I panicked!" he blurted. "I had meant it as a date! And then you asked and I- shit!"

Realisation dawned on her face. "Oh," she said. "Shit." He had meant it as a date? "Why didn't you say so?"

"I panicked!" he repeated and buried his face in his hands. "I'm sorry, Katara, I'm-" He looked up helplessly.

She held up one hand to shut him up. "I'm making this right," she declared.

Then, Katara bolted out of the door.

It took almost all day to do the preparations. Spirits, if only she'd known! She wasn't able to cook, though she doubted that Zuko had cooked himself that day either.

She did have time to do the decorations, however. She had spent so many hours in that garden that she had memorised every single flower in it. So that would have to do.

The sun had already set when she went back to her house, a joyful spring in her step. Zuko was still sitting pretty much where she'd left him with the only addition of Sokka and Suki to keep him company. 'And to calm his nerves,' Katara guessed.

When his eyes fell on her he smiled brightly. "You're back!"

"I am," she answered and smiled wider than she would have thought it possible. She held out one hand. "Come with me, Zuko?"

He scrambled to his feet. "Always."

Sokka gagged. "Spirits, that's disgusting."

"Nah, it's better than Katara pining," Suki added.

Katara exchanged an incredulous look with Zuko. "I ran into both Suki and you before you had sex for the first time," he reminded them.

"And I held your hand the whole voyage home when you got separated from Suki after the war. Even at night when you cried." She gave him her 'don't-mess-with-me'-glance and they thankfully shut up.

Katara took Zuko's hand and laced his fingers with hers before tugging him outside.

"Were you really pining?" he whispered against her ear.

She granted him a sweet smile. "Shut up or I'll change my mind."

He chuckled. "As you command- oh." He stopped dead in his tracks, taking in the sight of the garden she had bent up, complete with turtleducks swimming on a frozen pond and icy lampions. "Really, Katara?" he asked quietly.

She chewed on her lip and nodded. "Watch this." She closed her eyes concentrating on the lampions and a little trick she had learned some time ago. When she opened them again, they were glowing softly.

"You are amazing," he breathed and meant to lean down but she stopped him.

"Wait! You have to ask first."

He took a deep breath. Not annoyed at all. More smitten. "Katara...," hesitantly Zuko stepped closer and looked down at her with a smirk. "Is this a date?"

This time she didn't ignore the fluttering feeling in her heart. This time, she embraced it. Slowly, she reached out, gently cupping his cheek and running her thumb over the jarred edges of his scar. "It is," she said quietly, "if you want it to be."

He hummed, a warm smile spreading on his face as he leaned into her touch. "I would love it to be."

A bubbling feeling spread through her chest and belly, warm and giggly and suddenly she felt like fourteen again. "Can I?" she asked and he just nodded. Katara raised her second hand and put it on his other cheek. She rose up on her tiptoes and pulled him into a tender kiss.

Zuko didn't kiss how she'd expected him to. She thought it would be scorching and burning, consuming as a firestorm in a dry forest. Electrifying, lightning crackling in a hot humid summer night, ripping through the quiet and racing towards her, unbridled, untamed, inescapable. Inevitable. But it wasn't.

Inevitable, yes, because the moon and the sea were drawn towards each other, always pushing, always pulling. She laid herself bare before him, naked and unguarded. He could take her heart if he wanted to. And he did. But not with force, instead with gentle caresses and tentative touches and hidden smiles. She gave and gave and gave and took as well. She took hurt and desperation, loneliness and fear and it all evaporated between them. They were perfect opposites in perfect harmony.

And it ended way too soon.

"Katara-" Zuko croaked and she barely let him catch his breath before kissing him again. They had waited far too long for this. Zuko was stumbling and Katara was drowning, tumbling down an ice tunnel, lunging into the abyss. It was intoxicating, addicting and Katara didn't care. She wanted it all. She had it all.

They broke apart breathlessly and Katara rested her forehead against his. "You were wrong," she whispered.

"What?" he slurred.

"The moon is in love with the sun and round and round and round they went, always chasing each other. But not anymore. I caught you."

He tightened his embrace. "I found you," he answered.

They stood in the pale moonlight kissing and holding each other, making up for lost time, until Katara was shivering and he carried her back to her house. She led him into the bedroom and he layed her down gently, caressing her cheek and whispering sweet words into her ears.

"Wait," he said suddenly and sat up.

"What is it?" she asked, fearing for a moment that he'd changed his mind.

"I just- If we're doing this, I want to do it right," she said solemnly. "Right for you. I said that I wanted a date but- that's not all. Really, that is overly simplified."

"Then make it as complicated as it needs to be."

He took a deep breath. "When you were in the palace, I was the happiest I have been in a long time. The best part of my day was the precious hours I spent with you. I love the way you smile and the way you fight and the way you heal. I love the way you let the world be a part of your life, how you forgive and help and show mercy and kindness to everyone. I love- I just love you, Katara."

She closed her eyes and sighed in contentment. "Say it again," she whispered.

"I love you."

She smiled and pulled him close to kiss him again. "I love you, too, Zuko. With all my heart."

"Will you come home with me?" he blurted.

'Home...' It was a strange word. Home had meant so many different things over the years. A backwater village at the South Pole, an air bison's saddle, a never-ending search of belonging. And then she had seen him again and suddenly her search had ended. "You are my home."

"So... is that a yes?"

Tears were streaming down her face but this time they were happy tears. "Yes," she sobbed, kissing him again. "Or course it is."

[geckolady]

Skulduggery Pleasant: Raising Cain - Chapter 8

Chapter 8 - Clues and progress

They got to the car they borrowed and had to call a taxi to help get them all back to Gordon’s. They decided to rest for a little while before heading out and Crow went upstairs to remove the body which would be collected by the Sanctuary Cleavers and then cleaned up what he could, Wolf helping him.

Panda sat carefully at the kitchen table, looking at her nervously try to think up something to eat. She could make little bits, her and Gordon had been learning things slowly as a way of spending time together and also so Gordon wouldn’t forget to make food as often, Stephanie would remind him to spend time with her. It made her chest ache for him for a moment. She still loved him, but he had set up everything so she could move on quickly and she intended to make him proud.

She found some rice, tinned tomatoes, passata, cheese and mozzarella after a while and after digging out the recipe from the messed-up folder they had created together. Panda helped her work out how much food they needed for six, then decided after a moment to add on another two portions considering they were all so big and they were all so hungry.

It took a while to make and she had had to replace some passata with tin tomatoes, which were meant to be fresh anyway, and there defiantly wasn’t enough mozzarella, but with cheese on top and the fact it was alright tasting and there was more than enough for everyone, she was the star of the night and everyone doted on her. She’d always thought cooking for people was boring, but they made it fun, and Panda had done all the onion chopping so it wasn’t too horrible.

When they had all finished the meal – Stephanie had forced Crow to sit with them – they all went their various ways to relax. They had made sure to have two on night duty as well as Crow at all times but Stephanie was not involved though she didn’t complain with that, as the others would also be doing washing, drying and putting away since she cooked.

She washed for a long time in the shower, finding a lot of bruise and feeling a lot more aches than she realised she had. There was a particularly big yellowing bruise on her butt cheek she had no idea about but it didn’t hurt and too soon she was out the shower and in her massive, fluffy towel. She took the old nail varnish off her toes and couldn’t be bothered to repaint them after filing so she finished up, including her teeth and putting away the things she’d used in the draws, although they had no real home so it wasn’t exactly organised.

She didn’t care though so she took her clothes back to her room with her towel around her. She was sort of embarrassed to get waved at by Weasel who was going into his room someway down the hall as she was used to sleeping on a whole different floor to Gordon and had even walked, quiet freely, from the bathroom to her room naked without fear of being spotted in the past. She wouldn’t be able to do that anymore, which was disappointing in a weird way. Walking around naked was fun.

She shook the strange thoughts from her mind and went to her room with her massive super king bed and beautiful sheets and all her pillows and throws in various colours and materials, some gifts from her friends, others artfully picked by Gordon. The four-poster had semi-transparent white curtains she always had the tied up. When she was younger they had been the best thing in the room.

She had a desk and fairly new computer though the monitor was the same one from years ago, possibly from before she was born, a desk that went across the span of the room held up with massive screws and brackets rather than legs, giving the allusion of a lot of space. She had a vanity and massive walk in wardrobe with custom shelves, hanging space and shoe space that had never been full but she still loved for the fact it was over the top and made her feel important.

She changed into new pyjamas and got under the covers. She slept soundly.

She had a vague dream of Gordon that night, nothing of importance, no particular event, but she dreamt of Gordon, her and her boys. That’s what she called them in her dream and as soon as she awoke, she remembered that and not much of the dream itself. She decided that was what they were. She was their girl and they were her boys, her bothers. Sure, it wasn’t a perfect name for them, but it was the feel more so than the name itself.

She didn’t bother changing from her shorts and massive t-shirt Gordon had handed down to her some years ago, just grabbed her Panda toy to show Panda and slowly rubbed her eyes and went downstairs.

They were all in the kitchen, Bear, Panda and Weasel mumbling over tea, Crow reading a newspaper and the others far too excited for the morning and making up a big meal for them all. Stephanie sat on Bears lap and he moved back to give her room and was in a good enough mood to even wrap one arm back around her so it rested on her opposite hip, basically hugging her. Such a big, bad man, so feared across the land, and here he was, grumpy, drinking black tea and cuddling her.

“Cub!” Wolf said when he turned around. He was wearing an apron that said ‘I’ve been a naught cook’ on it and started laughing. “What do you want for breakfast?”

She stifled her laughs. “Whatever’s going I guess.”

“A full Irish, coming up.”

“Well, not a full one,” Crow pointed out over his paper.

“No,” Snake agreed. “But it’s pretty close.”

Stephanie listened to them argue over breakfast and noticed she was the last down and only one that hadn’t gotten dressed. Looking at the clock, she noticed it was ten o’clock and they must have been waiting for her.

She was given her food not long after and when they had all eaten and she’d helped putting things in the correct place when it was washed, she ran and got herself ready for the day. Back in her protective clothes, she came back to the kitchen to reconvene and found them inspecting her Panda bear.

“Hey!” She said, making them jump. “Don’t touch my Pandy!”

Wolf put it in the middle of the table. “I just wanted to see Ghastly’s namesake is all.”

“Yeah, just curious,” Snake said.

“Which is totally allowed,” Weasel pointed out. “So don’t get mad.”

“Yeah, but this is special. It was made for me and it’s special and you can’t hurt it,” she told them. “Anyway, I wanted to show Panda.”

“He saw it earlier,” Crow said, coming in from the living room. “He said it brought back memories of the wild animals his father made for him as a child. I think he wishes he made you more now.”

“He made me tones of stuff. I have almost everything you ever got me upstairs. Even the nonsense stuff you gave me.”

“They weren’t nonsense,” Crow muttered and left the room. “We’re leaving in five so get ready.”

Stephanie put her old toy, which was quite beaten up but still cute, at the end of the table and they got into the Bentley and the van and made their way down to the coast.

They stopped near her aunt and uncles place and Stephanie looked out the window at the nice little house. It was deceiving, how quaint it looked considering how bad the people within it had been to her on occasion. She was hardly Harry Potter but she deserved a little better from them, at least.

“Can’t we just steal it? I want to break in,” she told them.

“Stop whining. You get to steal it now, just walk over, go in, steal it and leave. Done,” Crow told her.

“It’s not the same and you know it,” she said, but got out the car, accepting that she was about to embarrass herself greatly in front of everyone.

She knocked on the door and waited until Fergus opened it. “Oh,” he said.

“Yeah. I was wondering how you were?” She asked. It sounded more like she was questioning the question. She certainly was.

“Uh, we’re fine. How are you?”

“Grand, grand. Um, could I use your bathroom?” She blurted out, wanting to get it over with.

He looked at her suspiciously. “Why? What are you up to?”

She frowned meanly at him. “Nothing. I went for a walk at the coast, needed to pee and came here. Is that so bad?”

He made a grunt noise but let her in and she bolted up the stairs to the bathroom. She closed the door and then listened carefully, hearing him call Beryl’s name and her shout back from the kitchen. She crept from the bathroom to her Aunt and Uncles room and searched the jewellery box. She found it quickly, flushed the loo and ran down the stairs.

“Thank you!” She called and closed the door on her way out.

She walked at a normal speed until she was sure Beryl couldn’t spy on her and then ran to the car and got in.

“That was not fun. I hope you understand that.”

“I don’t,” Crow said. “Now let’s go.”

They travelled back to the mansion and found it thankfully clear of intruders. The basement only took a moment to search with all seven of them and they used the key to get in, Stephanie getting to do the honours. It smelt dank and wet and felt frigidly cold.

They couldn’t all go in as there were monsters within would sense their magic, so Stephanie, Crow and Wolf would enter and the others would stay behind to guard and keep them hidden since they didn’t know if Serpine knew of the caves yet and if it gave them a few moments to get the Sceptre’s alliance to them first, it would be the edge they needed.

It felt slow at first, being in the cavernous maze and just slowly wandering around, finding boring plants and fungus everywhere. She had been instructed not to touch any as it was as dangerous as the sentient things down there. Maybe more so.

Stephanie pulled out the little torch she had stashed away in her jacket and they used it to pass a little stream type thing, and to avoid a massive tendril that was moving silently and might have been a snake though she honestly couldn’t tell. They couldn’t use magic, so her torch was invaluable. When they heard noises up ahead she clicked it off and they pressed into the shadows, Wolf’s hand on her shoulder.

The monster passed them with slow, powerful sweeps of its paws – a single claw was bigger than her foot. They waited for it to go around the corner and Wolf let her go and they began running through the dark halls with the torch to help them. Eventually they stumbled across a Snickers wrapper.

“Gordon,” Stephanie said, almost welling with emotion but holding it back resolutely.

“A clue,” Crow said. “We’re on the right track.”

They carefully followed the cave system further down into the dark and they were relying solely on Stephanie’s light for guidance. They reached a large space at the end with three other corridors and an overhang above them. In the centre of the room was the Sceptre.

Crow carefully checked the air with his magic and then nodded to them. They had already decided that Crow should be the one to touch the Sceptre first since he had the most control and would be the hardest for Serpine to kill. He strode forwards and the thing started to sing. He picked it up. It… did nothing.

How anticlimactic.

“Boring,” Wolf said, stretching. “Time to go.”

They left the caves at a jog and Stephanie was incredibly surprised to find everyone above perfectly fine and healthy. They hadn’t even spotted cars around the walls. Bear said it was too quiet, but they were grateful nonetheless and sat around the living room to think of their next move, the Sceptre sitting innocently, and loudly, on the coffee table.

“It needs to be destroyed,” Bear said. “It has no place existing, especially now Serpine is after it.”

“It’s a valuable weapon though. It could be an asset in stopping Serpine,” Weasel suggested though didn’t seem too happy with it.

“I think we should destroy it as soon as Serpine is dead,” Crow said. “It is an asset, and if we could get it assessed first, prove its existence, we can kill Serpine without consequences.”

Wolf shook his head. “I don’t like the idea of destroying it, but it’s too dangerous.”

Panda nodded. “Dexter’s right. I know you want to be certain we can kill him Skul, we all do, but this isn’t the way.”

Stephanie put her hand on Crow’s gently. “It’s way too dangerous. We might not get another chance to destroy it and if someone else gets it, it’d be awful.”

He was quiet as he thought about it. “I suppose you are right. The risk is too great. But that means we need to know how to destroy it.”

Panda stood up. “I think it’s time I paid a visit to the family Vault. Who else wants to go?”

In the end, Panda, Stephanie and Crow decided to go to his family Vault while Bear went to the Sanctuary to try and convince the Elders of the Serpine’s actions. The others would stay where they were to guard the house and Sceptre. It was a fairly long drive to The Vault and on the way Panda and Crow explained a few things.

“The Vault is not a place that is gone in lightly or often,” Panda told her. “My family have collected things over centuries and I have only been in their twice myself. My mother didn’t even go in there as it was from my father’s side and they were always too protective over it.”

“Why are you bringing me and Crow then?”

“You’re family,” he said. “And that one won’t let me not take him.”

She laughed. “What stuff did they collect?”

He shrugged. “Mostly paintings, but they were very interested in the Ancients, which we told you about already, so hopefully they will have something in there that can tell us about destroying it.”

They got to the art gallery in good time and caught the guards before they were leaving, allowing Panda to show his documentation, though it was unnecessary since it was impossible not to recognise him, and they waited for them to open the massive metal door, and it was shut after them, so they could browse.

It wasn’t as big as Stephanie had assumed it would be, but it was still packed with things, all valuable looking. There was art everywhere, some of what she assumed was the most valuable on the walls, and cases of clothes, jewels, piles of books and a massive oval table and chairs in the centre though upon the surface was more things she couldn’t identify.

“Where do we start?” Stephanie asked.

“I’ll start over here,” Panda said, walking to one of the corners.

“You look at the paintings,” Crow told her. “If you find anything relating to the Ancients that might be useful, tell us.”

She nodded and got started on the nearest rack of paintings. They were very expensive and she did her best to handle them with care, the way Gordon had taught her when they had gone through his collection one time. Panda found some maps in his corner they thought could have been places the Sceptre might have been found at one time, though they had no way of checking since they had the Sceptre. They did put them carefully on a chair for photographs though, just in case there was more information about the Sceptre in those places. It must have been almost twenty minutes later that Stephanie found a picture of it.

“I found something,” she said. “But it’s just someone using the Sceptre, not anything about destroying.”

“Tell me about it,” Crow said, his voice muffled as he was bent straight over into a chest.

“It’s a man, and he’s reaching for the Sceptre. It’s sort of hovering just out of reach, and it’s glowing.”

“Is there anything strange about him?” Panda asked, looking through scrolls.

“Yeah… he’s shielding his eyes but they’re both wide open. He looks kind of crazed actually.”

“What does that mean?” Crow asked her, pulling himself from the chest.

“Well, you’d expect him to be squinting, you know? There’s so much detail, there’s no reason the painter wouldn’t make him squint.”

“Anything else strike you as odd?”

She looked it over again. “The shadows.”

“What about them?”

“There’s two. And the Sceptre isn’t making them, the angles are wrong. Maybe the sun?” She suggested as he came over to look too.

“Yes, but what time of day would it be?”

“The shadow at his feet would make it noon, making the sun overhead, but the shadow behind him would make it morning or evening.”

“Which one?”

“How am I meant to know?” She frowned at him, seeing he wasn’t looking at the painting at all, actually playing with a little box. “Maybe morning.”

“So, you are looking at a man who is reaching for the Sceptre in the past and present, seeing everything at once.”

“I suppose so. What does that have to do with the box you’re messing with?”

“Who painted it?” Crow asked. “Ghastly, get over here.”

“There’s a crest. Leopard and crossed swords,” she said.

He lifted the box and showed them the same crest. “Whoever, family or individual, made that painting, also made this Puzzle Box. People like to put things in Puzzle Boxes that might help us in our quest for information. It’s another clue, Stephanie.”

He played with it a little more and then rested it flat on his palm. It clicked and there was a high pitch motorising sound before the top opened and they saw a little blue stone inside.