#i rlly just slap color on these bad boys like why not

[wickwackity]

profiles 🫶🫶

[angsthology]

hi! can i please request angst with gyeongsu where instead of him turning its the reader? tysm is advance!

AH NO, THANK *YOU* i have actually been meaning to do something like this (again) but i keep forgetting abt it ha. anyway i hope this lives up to your expectations, thank u ily (u probably wont love me back after this, its ok) <3

Do it for me and for you | Han Gyeong-su

warnings; aouad canon typical violence, lee na-yeon (yes she is a warning), denial, angst, really bad really rushed (eh, kinda) writing. tell me if i miss anything. — 1.8k words

pairings/characters (in order of appearance); best friend!lee su-hyeok & gn!reader, lee cheong-san, park sun-hwa, lee na-yeon, gn!reader/han gyeong-su.

disclaimer; please keep in mind that english nor korean is my first language so I do apologize if there are any mistakes and/or such, feel free to correct me if im wrong.

a/n; i went through not one but THREE drafts before deciding which one was the one im feeling... (and i still hate it) im so burnt out you guys this is word spew. im also bad at titles ... if u havent noticed (changed the last one bc didnt rlly fit)

“Push it! Just push it away!”

You watched as Su-hyeok struggles to keep the zombie away and push it off as it kept dangling and holding on like it had the will to live (it did but, well, y’know).

You debated on what you were about to do, but what else can you do, no one else was going to have the initiative to help.

Exhaling a breath and bracing yourself, you exclaimed, “Out of the way!” Thankfully, said boy noticed you on time to move his body away from the window, giving you the perfect aim. The bottom of your sneakers collided with the undead’s chest, giving enough force and letting it fall off the rope (hose?) and onto the ground.

Unfortunately for you, that much force has led you too far out the window. Somewhat losing control, your right leg kept moving forward and dangling itself out the window, some shards of glass from the broken window cutting your thigh. You yelped in surprise as you almost followed the zombie to the ground. Now with half of your body out you panicked even more with the pain on your upper thigh, “A little help here, for fuck’s sake!” your panicked complaints seemed to bring your friends back to reality.

Thankfully, Su-hyeok – being the closest one to the window – caught your other leg that was still inside, holding onto your sneaker with strength. You let yourself breathe for a short while before feeling your shoe slipping off (which made not only you but everyone else panic).

“Bare-su!” you scolded.

“Sorry!” he frantically apologized, grabbing a hold of your leg properly as you kept dangling by Su-hyeok’s grip and that only (not that you didn’t trust him, you did, but he was bound to get tired soon). Then the boy looked back at the others who just stood there stunned, “Stop standing there! Help me!”

That seemed to bring the rest back to reality (again, sigh) and running up next to Su-hyeok and grabbed onto your leg and slowly pulling you back in while some of the others removed the shards of glass away so you could get back in safely. When your body was finally within arm-length, Cheong-san grabbed your arm as he helped you in while the others tell you to be careful and watch out for glass.

Finally, you landed back safely inside, letting yourself breathe.

“You alright?” you heard someone ask (you couldn’t bother to see who it was).

“Yeah, sure, why not.” You answered breathlessly.

Your mind was far too occupied by the pumping adrenaline in your body to notice any injuries but luckily your friend paid attention enough, “Ah– you’re bleeding!” warned Gyeong-su.

You looked up in exhaustion, “Huh?” the boy pointed at your thigh, the fabric of your uniform split and blood seeping through it, making the already dark green color even darker. “Oh.” Was all you could say before you feel yourself blacking out.

Almost.

You felt hard slap on your face before you could fall into the unconsciousness.

“Su-hyeok!” scolded Ms. Park.

He only stared back at the teacher, “They were about to pass out!” he reasoned poorly.

“That didn’t mean you could hit them!”

The group was about to argue further when you groaned, “Bare-su-ah, I’ll kill you.”

His eyes snapped to you, “Ah, neo ttong-gae, your ass would’ve been splattered on the ground if it weren’t for me.” He cursed.

“Yeah, yeah. Sorry.” you managed to gather your energy to get yourself up—and stumbling—with the help of your friends. Then you paused, looking back at Su-hyeok, “Did you just call me a butthead?” said boy looked back at you then giving you a sarcastic smile.

Everyone seemed to get on with their own things after that, seeing as you were pretty much back to normal (after hearing the multiple curses that were exchanged between you and Su-hyeok). But of course, she was just paying attention to every detail.

“Hey,” you heard her voice coming from your far right as you were grabbing something on the table while snickering over something—probably very stupid—one of your friends had said. You looked up innocently to that skeptical, irritated, and not to mention disgusted look she always had when she’s addressing some people (you included).

“Yeah?”

“Were you bitten?” her voice surprisingly calm—yet irritating still—which still didn’t mean any good.

You couldn’t help but scoff — of course she was going to focus on that factor instead of expressing her gratitude to you for saving not just her, but everyone’s lives. No ‘thank you’ or ‘are you okay?’ (In a way that she actually cares about your well-being and not just the future of hers being at stake).

But you knew her well enough to not press onto that further and make her make it a bigger argument than it’s supposed to be (which itself was going to be pretty big considering who she was the one who started it—and, you know, typical Lee Na-yeon behavior).

“You’re welcome.” You said smugly with a forced smile playing on your lips.

She whined in annoyance, “Were you or were you not, bitten?” she insisted.

Before you could say anything, another voice came in defense for you. “Yah—can’t you be grateful for once in your life?” you turned around to see Gyeong-su already standing behind you, his eyes flared with anger (that he tried to reduce to a minimal—and failing). “They just saved your life, least you could do is show some gratitude.”

Na-yeon rolled her eyes at the boy, “I’ll show some gratitude when they don’t turn and kill us all.”

You cleared your throat, “Okay then, go ahead; time and place are welcome.” You said smugly while leaning against the table.

She rolled her eyes then pointing at your leg, just above your ankle.

You were beyond annoyed by her but you couldn’t help check what exactly it was that she saw out of curiosity.

Unfortunately, she was right.

All of your emotions quickly dissolved into one of worry and horror.

“Y/N–”

“No.”

Your voice was low, hands shaking as they raised, your eyes scanning over them as if looking for something else — nothing. Only the visible anxiety that made itself present in the form of you quivering hands.

Your feet only moving itself backwards, slow steps as everyone stared at you with worry.

It was silent for a good few moments. You can hear someone inhale sharply, almost saying something—but they were quickly cut off by you.

“I should go.” Your voice shaky but firm. Shaky at the fear that was creeping upon yourself, firmness of your truthful statement.

It was true, you were scared shitless for yourself, but you knew there was nothing else you could do but leave. You didn’t want to hurt anyone—though you probably will after you’ve completely lost your mind, but if you leave now, you would at least not have your last memory of all of your friends staring at you with fear, you will also have the least peace of mind knowing that your friends would be further away from your soon-will-be deathly grasp.

“Y/N—”

“GET AWAY FROM ME,” you snapped, tears that were pooling your eyes, dropped slowly. Looking up, you saw the one person who you’d rather have the farthest away from you right now. His eyes held sadness like your own, soft brown eyes turned weak, the liveliness and playfulness they once held turned to sorrow. Your eyes never left his, you can feel the guilt creeping up on you at the tears that slowly collected in his eyes. “I’m sorry…” you mumbled to all but him.

He wanted to say something, anything. But the thought of opening his mouth only brought a sob up his throat. He couldn’t breathe, his unsaid words were choking him, anything that comes up feels like bile. His eyes stung as he held back the waterfall that could eventually make him combust. He felt hopeless—he was hopeless. You were standing there in front of him with so much guilt in fear, he never imagined seeing you like this.

His actions moved faster than any of his words can.

The boy moved in a quick, swift motion, grabbing ahold of you in his arms before you could protest (alas, you still did) and hold onto you like you were his lifeline—and you are (or, y’know, were), as he is to you. You hated the fact that he was this close to you. He was too close. Way too close.

You were practically dying in his arms as minutes passed, you still fought his grip but he didn’t budge. He doesn’t let you go. He never wants to. Even if it’ll kill him.

He loves you. Every part of you. Even the parts that’ll eventually kill him.

But you couldn’t have that.

As said before, he was your lifeline. And you can’t have the gruesome thought that you had killed your lifeline. That was the last thing you would ever want—even if it was the first thing he would want.

Feeling the liquid metallic drip down your nose, you gathered up all the strength you had—which surprisingly increased after getting bit—and pushed him away. You wouldn’t dare look up, knowing the sight would break you.

“GET THEM OUT NOW!” yelled the pink-cardiganed girl once more. No one even had the energy to tell her to shut her trap, they were all busy processing their own emotions. No matter how many times it’d happened, how many times it will happen (God-forbid), watching one of your friends slowly lose themselves will never be easy, and it’ll never get easier.

Eyes were stained red, though yours for a whole different reason. Su-hyeok and Cheong-san took the initiative to get a grip on Gyeong-su who was ready to bolt towards you and encase you in his death-grip.

You could feel yourself shut down one by one—you felt yourself losing yourself.

Your feet manage to take slow steps backwards towards the broken window, your hands fell at your back, looking for the frame, not even bothering the sharp edges of the broken window.

No one tried to stop you—well, no one else did.

“Y/N-ah! C’mon, you’re fine, you don’t have to do anythi— LET GO OF ME,” he fought and fought to get out of the two boys’ grip, but they—well, Su-hyeok mostly—were much stronger than him. “Don’t be stupid, come on! You’re okay, why are you doing this?” his words became more choked as he begged for you to stay.

Your heart broke at every. Single. One of them.

Lowering your head as you still faced out the window, you shut your eyes tighter at the tears that pooled.

You can feel yourself turning again.

With a shaky voice and a dying heart, you ignored the begs of the person you love most—and will always love. “I’m sorry everyone, stay alive, yeah? Do it for me—or not, I’m not your boss.” You chuckled a little, “This is where we part ways; see you in our next life, I look forward to meeting you all again.” A small sad smile crept into your face for the last time before falling into your imminent death.

You heard a loud scream of anguish as you fall, sooner or later fading with everything else.

[dancingazaleas]

bertholdt hoover | mc donald’s

HELPLPPPP i love he 🥺 i love he so much

sorry if this was trash :-(( i was rlly sleepy when i wrote this. pls enjoy

warnings/notes: cursing, modern au, highschool au, bertholdt, reiner, marcel, and reader are seniors, porco is a junior, reader is marcel’s twin, bert is ambidextrous (my headcanon), hard pining, bert’s a music prodigy, female reader

when you meet him, it was at your house on a friday night.

porco and marcel had decided to have their obnoxious and messy friend group over at the house while your parents were away for the weekend doing god knows what.

you were just annoyed that your mom said their friends could come over.

it wasn’t that they were inheritaly bad people, it was just that they were overly loud and, somehow, always forgot to pick up their shit before they left. you’d always get your ass chewed out by your mom for it too.

you also hated going downstairs whenever they were there. if marcel or porco caught even a glimpse of you, they would pester you to play a round of super smash bros and wii sports with them and the group. whenever the two of them started to pester, usually reiner would join in until you would cave. reiner was annoying when it game to game nights.

so, you sat upstairs in your room trying to go to sleep and drown out their laughter and yelling, but you couldn’t. they were too fucking loud.

you texted both porco and marcel angrily, telling them ‘shut your fucking mouths i cant fucking sleep’. you concluded that they were too distracted to notice your texts when they continued to yell and laugh. you scoffed and decided that you’d just try to scroll through social media and rant to ymir over text.

30 minutes had passed and the group downstairs showed no signs of quieting down and you were starting to get hungry. so with a sigh, you made your way downstairs towards your kitchen with the intention of finding pizza flavored goldfish in mind.

you were glad you weren’t noticed when you passed by the living room, that meant no pizza flavored goldfish. you opened the door to the pantry only to find cereal, protein powder and bars, porco and marcel’s chips, and the food your mom and dad ate.

this meant they had used your food for this get together. you groaned loudly and slammed the door to the pantry shut. the echo of it immediately silenced the large group in the living room, which held your next homicide victims.

you stomped into the room, irritation written all over your face as you looked at your brothers, who were hugging each other in fear.

“first, you ignore my texts asking you to shut your big fucking mouths. then, you decided death when you chose to serve your friends my food.” the two teenage boys nodded wearily.

with a battle scream, you jumped over the coffee table and on top of them on the leather couch, fists swinging. they shrieked in fear, scrambling under your weight to get away as everyone else in the room laughed at the scene.

you sat on porco’s back, the main offender, and held his head up by digging your thumbs into the bones of his eyebrows.

“porco, if you want me off of your’s and marcel’s ass in the next week; you better drive me to fucking mc donald’s, get me food, and pay for it!!! deal?!” you shouted at him, kicking away the hand that was reaching around to shove you away.

he slammed him palm onto the couch two times, “okay, okay!!! deal!! now get your ass off of me!!!”

you let go of his face and got off of him, but not without giving him a hard slap to the side of the head.

reiner hooted and clapped his large hands together, “another wrestling victory for (name)!!!”

everyone laughed a little, and you did a little bow before plopping down next to pieck, a college student you met in junior year while she was a senior who you were actually quite close with.

“how do you always manage to get your ass kicked by (name) everytime we come here,” zeke, another friend you’d met in junior year while he was in his senior year, snickered at the misery of porco.

“ha ha,” porco gave a monotone laugh, “leave me alone old man.”

“porco, where’s my mc donalds,” you sang and watched marcel roll his eyes a little.

“(name), it’s 11 o’clock at night. i’m not going to get you fucking mc donalds,” porco snapped but cowered away when you made the slight movement of getting up onto your feet.

“bertholdt’ll drive ‘em!” reiner piped up and everyone turned to said bert.

you felt yourself getting flustered when you took a look at bertholdt. he was tall and lean guy cowering in the corner of your couch with dark red cheeks as he stared back at you. his hair was a dark brown and he had the prettiest light jade colored eyes with a hooked nose right between them.

“oh...,” you were stunned, which was a uncommon occurrence, and felt like it was just you and him, “yeah... i’m down. i don’t think we’ve met before.”

bertholdt gave a shy nod and stood up for the couch, and you noticed just how tall he was. before you could make a step towards him however, porco jumped to his feet and got between you.

“nope! changed my mind! get in the tr—,” you shoved him back onto the couch next to marcel, who had a small and gentle smile.

“bert’s gonna get some,” pieck teased with a giggle as she poked at your sides from her seat.

you laughed bashfully and slapped her hands away, telling bertholdt that you were ready to leave when he was. pieck seized her attacks when you followed after bertholdt when he made his way to your front door.

“don’t forget to use protection,” annie shouted nonchalantly, the whole room bursting into laughter.

after that, both you and bertholdt hurried to get out of the house and into his car.

which led you to now, sitting in the parking lot of the sketchy and dingy mc donald’s eating and talking.

“wait, so when reiner...,” you chew while laughing, “told you marcel had a twin, you thought it was a prank?”

bertholdt chuckles shyly and nods, “yeah. i just.. i never saw you around cause no one pointed you out when we were at school. reiner would do stuff like that ever since we were kids.”

you shake your head with a smile, “so, why’d you decide to transfer to titan high just a couple weeks ago?”

bertholdt thinks for a second, “better music program. reiner mentioned something about it to me once, so then i did my own research. titan has multiple opportunities for their students to get a chance at getting scholarships to prestigious universities for fine arts by competing. also, all my friends are here.”

your heart swells as the way bertholdt eyes shine as he speaks of the music program, so much that you forget to answer for a second.

“oh! so, what instrument do you play?”

“uhm... i play the cello, violin, viola, double bass,” he pauses, “i’m learning the harp, piano, lyre, and the guitar.”

you gape at him, “so you’re a prodigy?!”

he blushes and gives a small shrug, “i’ve never really considered myself as such... but i guess by definition i am.”

“th-then why the hell are you going to titan high?!”

“i still wanted to be a normal kid. my dad put me in public schools with decent music programs so i could still play. my favorites are the piano and the cello.”

“hold out your hand for a second,” you request, to which he obliges.

you take it into your own hand, eyes scanning over the palm of his massive hand. his fingers are worn and he has a writer’s bump on his middle finger despite it being his left hand. he has a bandaid on his pinky finger and the tips of his fingers are a flushed red as well as his knuckles. his nails are perfectly even and trimmed and you notice a scar on his thenar stretching to his radial longtitude crease. you run the tip of your finger over the scar, ignoring how bertholdt flinches at the contact.

bertholdt’s blushing and he feels like he’s going to pass out on the spot. the only other girls he’s been this close to were pieck, annie and his friend ymir, who all have girlfriends.

but then bertholdt feels the soft skin of your lips gently kissing at the scar on his hand with your eyes closed. his heart races and it feels like it’s beating out of his chest.

bert’s pretty sure he can see black dots in his vision.

you look him in the eyes now, “i know we haven’t known each other for that long, but you’re really beautiful, bert.”

bertholdt flushed cheeks turn pale as he faints.

[peaches-writes]

there’s nine days left until christmas

skz of christmas day 1: early morning mass with jisung

member: jisung wc: 1.6k genre: fluff, comedy, childhood friends to lovers au (but the lovers part is so tiny), neighbour au warning: explicit language note: this the one time im making church boys skz happen bc it’s kinda funny + i made a rlly corny joke somewhere there but u hav to squint rlly rlly hard

Having to live in the city for almost 350 out of 365 days a year in order to study at university, you’ve naturally come to appreciate the peace and quiet of the countryside you would spend long stretches of holidays at. From the screeching but natural sound of roosters replacing your phone’s alarm clock to the gentle breeze that doesn’t need you to run around in circles a few times to brush past your open arms, you’re always looking forward to staying with your grandparents in a small mountainside village just an hour away from the main road because of all the healing it has to offer.

Well, maybe except small but constant inconvenience in your visits in the form of your neighbor, Han Jisung.

“Ji, I swear I will drag you out of your bed and take you to church in your pajamas if you don’t get up right now.” You threaten the still snoring boy on the bed you’ve been crouching next to for the past five minutes. Slapping his cheek once more, you frantically try and wake him up again by adding, “Han Jisung, get up now! We’re going to be late!”

Like you, Jisung only visits on Christmases and a few weeks at the beginning of each summer. He stays with his own grandparents who live next door to yours which, in hindsight, sounds like it doesn’t give you much reason to be hovering over him at 3:55 AM on a Thursday if not for the fact that when there’s 9 days left before Christmas Day (aka today), your grandparents want to attend the early morning mass in the town proper but the only means of transportation is the shuttle that only comes at 4 AM.

Jisung’s clearly not a morning person, either, so you can see where your problems currently lie.

“Jisung...” You call his name again between gritted teeth now. You’ve pulled the covers, took his extra pillows away, and switched off the electric fan across the room but to no avail—the boy just groaned, whined, and curled up into a ball on his sleeping bag. “Deadass the only reason I haven’t killed you yet is because your grandma promised me rice cakes again if I got you dressed before the shuttle arrives so wake up, you dumbass, or I’ll turn you into the rice cake.”

In front of you, Jisung only rubs his closed eyes and whines even more. “Five more minutes, baby.” He mumbles under his breath, lazily bringing his bare arm up to his face to cover his eyes from the harsh light flickering on the ceiling.

The nickname has you rolling your eyes and smacking his head. In frustration, you then stand up from your position and walk over to his closet, throwing him his clothes. “I’m going to count down to five and if you still haven’t opened your eyes and started changing, I’m calling Minho in from next do—“

The mere mention of your other childhood friend across the street immediately has the boy opening his eyes and throwing the random shirt over his head.

-

“You have drool on your face, dumbass.” You point to Jisung with your index finger, chuckling when he aggressively wipes on the area right next to his bottom lip. “The whole church would smell the morning breath through the speakers.”

“Shut up.” He rolls his eyes, sinking into his seat with his acoustic guitar hugged to his chest and a yawn. “What’s taking so long, anyway?”

“The priest who’s supposed to preside had something come up last minute, apparently,” You shrug, flipping through the song book and practicing on the old piano in the mean time. Nearby, both of your grandmas are conversing animatedly with the rest of the choir while your grandfathers have both wandered off somewhere—most likely to the small vendors outside the building. “I’ll give it ten minutes until they get the priest from the next village.”

Jisung groans, finally placing his guitar back on its stand and sitting up properly only to scoot closer to you and rest his head on your shoulder. “I could’ve gotten more sleep at home.”

You immediately shrug him off in response but to no avail. “And who said you can sleep on my shoulder?”

“You woke me up so you take responsibility.” He pouts, linking your arms to hold you in place and adjusting his head on the crook of your neck. “Wake me up when we’re about to start, okay? Goodnight!”

“Ya, Han Jisu—ya!” You tilt your head down to meet his gaze to find his eyes already closed forcibly shut. When you flick his forehead and complain even more, he simply cusses at you and swats your hand away with his free hand. “So that’s how it is...”

“Don’t you dare...”

Moving your hands as close to the piano keys as you can, you then surprise the sleeping boy by practicing on the piano as loudly as you can. Great Amen echoes throughout the entire church, amplified further by the speakers set up near every pew and, naturally, veryone in vicinity jumps in surprise, including your own grandma who drops her fan, Jisung’s grandma who almost topples over in her seat, and even Seungmin who’s supposed to help sacristans this morning with the candles. 

“I hate you so much.” Jisung mumbles with furrowed brows. 

“Then get off my shoulder.” 

“No.” 

- 

“Why are you playing a Bb6? It’s a Gm7.” 

“No, it’s not.” 

You and Jisung squint your eyes at each other as you continue playing through the song anyway. Fortunately, the people sitting in for choir haven’t noticed the small mistakes yet and you’re already halfway through the mass.

“It was a Gm7.” Jisung insists anyway, leaning forward on your piano to look at the handwritten music score properly as he strums his guitar. “Whoever wrote this needs to get their ears checked.”

“You wrote this in last year with Changbin.” You point out, biting down a chuckle. The song then finally finishes and the two of you lean back in your shared seat to wait for the next one. When you look over at the choir where your grandmas have been for the past forty minutes, you see them paying attention to the mass and not at all caring about the two of you arguing. “I’m trying to follow you, dumbass.”

Stubbornly, Jisung scrunches up his nose in denial. “No, I don’t think so? I’d remember if we did.” He defends himself, earning him an eyeroll from you as he then picks up a nearby pencil and writes the ‘correct’ chord on the paper. “Anyway, it’s only the first mass.” 

You’d erase the correction on any other day had your grandma cued you again for another song. Sitting up properly (and making sure you elbow Jisung enough for him to scoot away and give you space to play on the lower keys), you then deadpa, “You don’t even remember anything else you write.” 

“Yes I d—!” Before his tone of voice could rise up higher and disrupt the entire mass, you make sure to push him back from the microphone nearest to his mouth by placing a hand over his face. “Ya!”

- 

Speaking of your other other childhood friend, you and Jisung immediately trail after Changbin once the mass concludes. Stifling your giggles as you try and blend in with the crowd of aunties who are now talking about where they could eat breakfast together and children who’ve just woken up from napping throughout the entire ceremony, you find your target by the rice cake vendors at the church entrance with the same (almost annual) look of distress on his face. 

“Third year in a row.” You whisper to Jisung as the two of you hid in the mini garden right in front of the church. Just a few meters ahead, Changbin is still contemplating on buying the rice cakes. “Do you think he’ll do it this year?”

Next to you, Jisung is quick to shake his head. “Sorry to break it to you, baby, but did you see him back there? He couldn’t even hold the other person’s hand!” He laughs, a hand hovering over his lips to muffle the sound. “I’m pretty sure the rice cakes are gonna take another two years.”

“I did, I saw him! He looked nervous as fuck I felt really bad for him!” You topple over in laughter at this, clasping your hands together. “Ah, Changbin shouldn’t always be hanging out at the rice cake vendors after every mass if he’s not going to buy. He keeps giving them—and us—false hope!”

“Can you believe this guy ditched us to flirt? He can’t even do it properly.” Jisung dramatically scoffs, breaking into another fit of laughs when Changbin walks away from the rice cake vendor at seeing his crush already walking home. “We should ambush him later when we play basketball, ‘no?”

“And you think you can do better?” You quirk an eyebrow teasingly, elbowing Jisung by his side. “Flirt, I mean?” 

“Yeah, totally!” Jisung nods with so much conviction and exaggerated determination in his expression that it makes you laugh again. “Stop doubting my skills, Y/N!” 

“Of course I’d doubt it, you’re all bark and no bite most of the time.” You scrunch up your nose, making his eyes widen and a string of protests to come out of his lips. “What? It’s true!”

“That’s not fair, you only see me on Christmas and summer!” 

“Exactly.” You cross your arms smugly which he squints his eyes at. “So, think you can do better than Seo Changbin, Ji? Prove it!” 

Taking your hand in his, Jisung then pulls you up to a stand and starts dragging you over to the rice cake vendors. “Oh, I will prove it.” He rolls his eyes, even going as far as intertwining your fingers before you could even fully comprehend what’s happening so suddenly. “What color of rice cake do you want, baby? Also, you like cheese on the rice cake, right?” 

-

december 17 (lee felix)

skz of christmas (masterlist)

m.list

@skzwriternet 

[eitelle]

YOOO CAN I PRETTY PLEASE GET A MATCHUP OKAY UH HERES SOME THINGS ABOUT ME

-i love worms on a string, yk those thingys? idk how you wouldnt know anyways. these bitches.

-chronically ill gang gang B)

-my fav color is light green wnd baby pink :) although my blog is purple.... tf

-sun gemini, rising gemini, moon aquarius, venus taurus, mars leo, mercury cancer <3

-can i get matched with a haikyuu boy pretty please

-i may or may not be 4’10 😐

-the names mack duhhhhhh

-im an intp

-favorite foods are penne pasta, cake, fried rice, and french fries (￣▽￣)

-im super swag. actuALLY IM A SWAGLORD

-a lot of my friends either call me the mom friend or the overprotectivr friend

-i rlly rlly love playing jailbreak on roblox- i bully kids there too but i genuinely play jailbreak like hours a day

-im awkward. really fuckin awkward.

-i cant tell social cues for SHIT

-i normally match people’s energies cause im worried everyone hates me 🥵🥵

-i had a raging fnaf phase in sixth grade

-my favorite candy is sour punch straw bites they SLAP OH MY GOD

-when im nervous i play with my hands

-im really fuckin touch starved bro. like it’s so bad ou my god

-i like to smell like roses

-my fav flowers are roses actually hehe

-i love strawberries and raspberries and blueberries sm. hands down best fruits are berries

-idek what else to say message me if you need anything else 🥵🥵🥵🥵

bitch u scare me so much. anyways. UR MF 4’10 I- HAHAHAHDJDJDDHHDNXHCHEJDFH HINATA- AND-AND NISHINOYA ARE TALLER THAN YOU *WHEEZE*

i match you with: tooru oikawa jkjk i match you with kuroo tetsurou 🤩

i gave u such a good one be thankful mf

hcs:

yall have study dates pls-

not that u get any work done

YOU HAVE TO TUTOR HIM IN ENGLISH SJSHDHJDJDHXH

he will force u to be nekomas manager. no doubt.

mf will learn ab astrology for you

in turn you play with his hair

yall would growl and bark over text 😞👎

jkjk i do it too

friends to lovers only u forced ur friends to come w yall to ur dates bc yall awkward as hell‼️

tried to call u kitten,,, he ended up calling u his milf 😐🙏

you tell him he reminds u of all of bakusquad but mostly sero

he then watched mha

he now kins sero.

adopted a stray cat and named it tink idfk why

its small and white and fluffy tho

he was debating on naming it marshmallow... what in the white straight girl-

MF I CAN HEAR HIS LAUGH HELP-

imagine:

you and kuroo walking hand in hand on a walk in the park and then you trip over a mushroom. idk why. but then before you can fall you hear your spiky haired nerd of a bfs annoying hyena laugh behind you causing u to land on your knees.

“DID YOU JUST- TRIP OVER A- A- MUSHROOM,” he gasped out helping you to your feet as you stand up glaring at him.

“yeah and if you kin sero shouldnt u be able to save me?” you say in retaliation. it shut him up real fast causing you two to walk home in silence. then he said before you were about to apologize, “it was still funny tho.” before you throttled his ass ��🥺🙏

^artbreeder kuroo

ok now texts. JEJSHDHJDDHCH

i cant do yalls ship name. i physically dont trust myself,,, like literally im so tired rn PLS- anyways here u go milf

[1kook]

freefall

✗ Wong Yukhei x (F) Reader

summary→ You thought you told Yukhei you didn’t trust Rohei, especially when she was high. Why he even bothers to hang out with her despite her obvious crush is beyond you. wc→ 6.6k tags→ angst, homewrecking attempts, drug use, couple fights :/, makeup vanilla sex, bulging mention, breath play but not rlly lol

fly→ soar→ freefall 

this has been in my drafts for 7 MONTHS!! I'm sorry also not proofread lol

A lot of the things you knew about your boyfriend where things he told you himself, like his favorite color or his grandma’s name. He loved to tell you every little detail of his day, from the fact his socks were inside out to the weird LARPer group he’d seen on the way to class. He’d told you about his love for soccer and his first crush and the last movie he saw and how he liked his phone beneath his pillow. Yukhei literally told you absolutely everything about himself. 

There’s two things Yukhei’s never directly told you. 

The first was something you’re sure Yukhei isn’t exactly aware of himself, and that was the ridiculously Casanova persona he took on when he was high. Of course, you knew firsthand about this Yukhei. His playful expression would fade away, until he was all molten gazes and wandering hands, sneaking beneath your skirt after he’d cornered you against some frat house’s kitchen. Breathy laughs, plush lips pressed against your jaw in some sort of twisted game to see if he could make you come in front of all those people, pressing his wonderfully hidden cock against your hip until you begged him to go home. 

With a little bit of weed, Yukhei became an absolutely delectable man, and you’re not the only one who’s noticed. 

Which leads you to the second piece of information Yukhei’s never told you, and that was the existence of one very clingy girl. Her name was Rohei, an accounting major in the same year as Yukhei. She was pretty and nice, and everyone seemed to like her, which somehow made her entitled to your boyfriend.  How ridiculous. 

You’re not sure when exactly she’d become such a blip in your radar, or when she even started hanging around him. Yukhei never mentioned her, so for a while, you ignored her. 

That is until she started showing up to your sessions, all giggly and annoying as she tried to squish herself beside Yukhei. Even then you’d given her the benefit of the doubt, knowing you were also, quite frankly, an annoying person when you were high. The smoke made a lot of things foggy, but her hand resting on his thigh was as clear as day. 

After that, you’d warned Yukhei against seeing the home wrecker, citing your own personal girl instincts as the only solid reason you had against disliking her, not that Yukhei particularly cared. The first time you mentioned her had confused the fuck out of him, and it only took about five minutes of physical descriptions for him to realize exactly who you were talking about. 

“Oh,” he sighed, pausing his game of Zelda to glance over at you. “The girl with the Windex bottle laugh?” 

You snorted, giving his side a gentle shove with your foot. “Yeah, that girl,” you said. You abandoned your phone in favor of meeting his gaze. He’d invited you over fresh out of his shower, his hair wonderfully fluffed up and soft. God, was he attractive. As if sensing your sudden shift, he wrapped one huge hand around your ankle, tugging you down the bed and towards him. 

“Don’t worry, baby,” he crooned, ducking down to brush his lips over yours. You let an airy moan escape you, sliding a hand around his neck to pull him closer. He grinned something wicked against your lips, game abandoned as he slotted himself against you. “You’re my girl.”

It wasn’t that you didn’t trust Yukhei—no, if anything, you trusted him too much. The real issue was that you didn’t trust these other bitches. Yukhei could flaunt your relationship as much as he wanted, could walk around with your name across his chest, but that wouldn’t stop mean and desperate girls from throwing themselves at him. They’d use any chance they’d get to entice him, which is exactly why you’d begged him not to go smoke with his friends one night. 

“Are you serious?” He asked, halfway through tugging his hoodie over his head. After an enjoyable evening tangled in the sheets with you, his best friend in the entire world, Mark Lee, had invited him out to smoke. ‘With the usual gang,’ had been his words, and Yukhei being the pothead that he was, instantly agreed. 

You sighed, tugging the sheets to your chest as you sat up. “Well, is she gonna be there?” You grumbled, not trying to hide your annoyance that well. Yukhei blinked. 

“Are you talking about that girl again?” You pursed your lips, avoiding his gaze. Yukhei snorted, and you yelped as he flopped back down on the bed to envelope you in his arms. “Baby, I’m crazy about you, you know that?”

You rolled your eyes, covering your face with your hands, as if he hadn’t seen you completely naked fifteen minutes before. “I know,” you sighed, though it came out more like a whine. “But she wants to fuck you! I know she does.”

Yukhei ignores you, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck. Begrudgingly, you wrap your arms around his soft form, the pout on your face slowly fading. It’s the sweet and romantic side of him, the one he usually hides from his friends, that melts your resolve. A sudden nip at your collarbone brings you out of your rosy vision. 

“Babe, stooop,” you whine, your inner Sammi from Jersey Shore jumping out. “My calves still hurt.”

“Chiiiill,” he murmurs against the skin of your neck, plush lips caressing the skin. With each soft kitten lick he gives, you feel yourself slowly melt into the mattress below you. “Lemme take care of you,” he proposes, and as much as you want to protest, the hand that snakes its way between the two of you sucks the words from your mouth. 

“S-Sensitive,” you say instead, head lolling onto the pillows as Yukhei’s deft fingers rub small circles against your clit. He hums against your skin, carefully taking note of each tremble your thighs give, and the gasps that catch in your throat. 

After he’s done ravishing your throat and your orgasm is creeping up on you for the second time that night, he juts his chin up to meet your gaze. “You did so well tonight, baby,” he praises right before he slots his mouth against yours. “Rode me so good, fuck, you looked so pretty for me.” You reminisce on the grueling work out riding your boyfriend had been, the guiding hands on your waist the only help he’d provided. 

Another whimper escapes you, right before Yukhei does his signature move (the one he’d claimed about a week ago), which was slowing down all movements, letting your orgasm build, before giving your clit one final flick that sent you crashing through your own bliss. 

After you’ve received your second orgasm of the night, and you’re feeling especially pampered, Yukhei kisses you on the lips sweetly and scampers off to meet his friends. 

Afterwards, you’re feeling a little bad about trying to limit his outings because of your own raging jealousy. Yukhei was your boyfriend, but that didn’t mean you had to keep an iron grip on him. He was his own free person; a goofy soul who needed social interaction more than others. For you to keep him on a leash because of some unproven theory was wrong. 

You’re still feeling pretty sour, but that all changes when you do your usual nightly Snapchat sweep. Your swiping through snaps of your classmates and friends, crying over projects or complaining about jobs, when the one and only Mark Lee’s story pops up next. Nothing unusual, just him blowing smoke into the camera while some cheesy RnB music plays on the radio of someone’s car. In fact, everything’s fine until you click right, and are met with a three second snap of a particular group shot, the entire right side of the camera frame taken up by Yukhei’s lean figure and one scheming Rohei wrapped around him. 

You click your phone off, calmly set it to the side, and fall asleep. 

You don’t mention it to Yukhei. For some reason, there’s this annoying voice in the back of your head telling you Yukhei should tell you on his own. After all, you had been having an internal battle on whether you were too protective or not, and going off on him for something that could just be a minor instance would only prove that. 

There’s another big frat party this weekend, and though you usually go with your friends, Yukhei invites you to come with him this time. You can’t say no, especially with the way half of his smile gets hidden by the pillow he’s pressed into. He looks so soft and sweet, you find yourself peppering him in kisses as you agree. 

You don a pretty dress you’d bought that week, a tight little number that accentuates your figure. Right as you bend over to strap your heels into place, you hear a low whistle from the bathroom door. 

“Baby,” Yukhei whines, hands slowly gliding around your waist from behind. “You’re gonna be the death of me,” he huffs, nose pressed against the side of your head. You giggle, leaning back to meet his dark gaze. As if the wolf whistle wasn’t enough, he adds, “I’m gonna bend you over and fuck that pretty little pussy.”

Your jaw drops open, and you playfully slap his hands away. “Yukhei!” You scold, strutting across the room to grab your cell phone and his keys. You ignore his gaze as you go about collecting yourself, and when you’re waiting for him at the door, you say, “who says I’m gonna let you?”

The night goes similarly to that encounter, Yukhei’s eyes trailing you wherever you go. It’s like he refuses to look away from you, from the way your hips sway to the music and the way your collarbones glisten with the thinnest sheen of sweat. Even when he’s settled down in the den for a quick session with his boys, his eyes find their way back to where you’re chattering with your friends right outside the door. 

With each hit, his dark eyes become hazier and hazier. But he also becomes bolder and bolder, sinful pink tongue swiping across his lips as he eye fucks you for the entire world to see. Your friends giggle at your boyfriend’s behavior, and then scramble away when they see his tall figure come swaggering towards the doorway. You presume they’re done with their session for now, everyone parting ways. 

“You come here often?” He croons, and your lips press together in an effort to hold back the ridiculously dopey smile threatening to take over your features. 

“Every now and then,” you respond, easily falling into his little game. It ends up consisting of him babbling out every pick-up line he knows until you’re giggling and falling into him. He’s not exempt from the goofy smile you wear, staring down at you as if you’ve hung the stars in the night sky. 

After a particularly corny comment, he leans down and accidentally knocks your foreheads together. “Come back to my place, baby. I promise I can treat you better than anyone ever has.” Cherry ready lips ghost over your own. 

You hum in response, dizzy from your boyfriend’s flirty behavior. “I don’t know,” you joke, tilting your head up slightly, enough so that you upper lip brushes against his. “My boyfriend wouldn’t like that.”

“Smart guy,” he says, and you roll your eyes. “Seriously, though,” he says, suddenly more sober than he’s been in the past few hours. “I told you I was gonna fuck your pretty little brains out tonight, remember?”

His vulgarity strikes a chord within you, and you find yourself pressing your legs together. But Yukhei is nothing if not observant, his hands tracing down your side until it’s snaked its way around to rest upon the swell of your ass. He knows he’s already won you over for the night, so he presses a quick kiss to you lips before scampering off to tell his friends he’s off. Nows as good a time as ever for you to do the same. 

You nonchalantly stride back over towards where all your friends have congregated this time, telling them you’ve decided to turn in for the night. Them being your friends obviously know that you’re not heading home to sleep, but rather to get fucked into another dimension. You don’t deny nor confirm their claims, instead leaving them with a coy smile that has them up in hoots as you walk away. 

Normally, Yukhei is able to find you in a crowed party easily enough—being tall has its undeniable perks—so you’ve never really been the one searching around for him. But you remember his current state, how he’d stumbled over his words and how his long legs seemed to be working of their own accord tonight. You decide the safest option is to find him yourself, because a high Yukhei tends to have the attention span of a child. 

It doesn’t take long to find the group of guys he’s usually around, Mark Lee’s newly dyed blonde hair particularly standing out to you. They all greet you in the polite way that is customary for a fellow bro’s girlfriend, and you do the same. You turn towards Mark, “where’s Yukhei?”

Mark’s brows furrow together in confusion. “He said he was gonna look for you, actually,” he answers, and you find yourself as confused as him. 

“When was this exactly?” You press, a weird feeling settling in your gut. 

Mark’s lips quirk to the side, eyes drifting around the kitchen as he seems to try to recall when he’d last seen your boyfriend. In the end, he can only offer you a half-assed shrug and an unsure, “ten minutes ago?”

You end up thanking Mark, as well as bidding him adieu, before continuing your search for Yukhei. As you’d mentioned before, he rarely had trouble finding you in crowded areas, always gravitating towards you like a magnet. It was weird that it’d taken him this long, even weirder if he’d actually been stoned enough to have forgotten or strayed away. 

You pass by the beautiful oak study built into this frat house, and almost completely dismiss it had you not caught sight of sudden movement inside. Gently, you push open the glass paneled doors, eyes slowly adjusting to the dark room. 

“Baby,” you hear your boyfriend say. You sigh in relief, thanking god that Yukhei wasn’t lost, just dumb. You glance around for a light switch, only for your eyes to stumble upon the frame of one very out of place figure. Your brow twitches, and had you not been sheathed in darkness, you’re sure she would have seen the way your entire expression changed. 

A movement to her left finally alerts you of where Yukhei is in this dark room, and you don’t hesitate to make your way towards him. Suddenly, you have the vision of the stealthiest nightcrawler as you absorb every detail of this situation. 

The first one is Rohei’s frame, curled up beside Yukhei far enough that she isn’t touching him but close enough she can probably see the swell of his plush upper lip. The second is the vulnerable state of Yukhei’s body, a dab pen clutched between his fingers that definitely isn't his. The third and most telling factor has to be the annoyed expression on her face, similar to your own. 

Oh this bitch was definitely up to something. 

“Babe,” you say, calmer than a retail employee dealing with a stuck-up customer, “we’re supposed to be leaving.”

Yukhei nods, fast and cute like a puppy, but these circumstances make you want to strangle him. “Of course of course, baby, Rohei was just telling me about this new pen flavor!” As if on cue, Rohei smiles sweetly at you, curling just the slightest bit closer to your boyfriend. “I know you really like the watermelon one, so I was wondering if she knew any other good fruity ones.”

You flash her the fakest smile you can muster, and in his state, Yukhei doesn’t seem to notice. “That’s nice,” you play along, eyes burning into her like laser beams. “But I’d really like to get going before it gets darker out.” You tug Yukhei’s arm, his body following you to rise off the couch. 

Right before his ass can leave the cushion, there’s a sudden force being exerted on his other side that has him falling backwards. Your eyes widen, but then narrow into slits when you finally see what had stopped him from leaving with you. Your met with two perfectly manicured hands wrapped around his forearm, attached to the same girl you told Yukhei you didn’t trust. 

“But we were just beginning to talk!” she whines, flashing you an innocent pout that lets you know she knows exactly what she’s doing. You feel your insides boil. “We were having a good little chat, weren’t we, Lu?”

“Lu?” You humph, eyes flickering between her face and Yukhei’s. 

He shrugs, too dazed by the lights sweeping through the open door to really focus on the situation at hand. “She calls me by my American name, baby, remember it?” He beams, not at either of you, but at some invisible object in the air only he seems to be aware of. 

“Yes,” you seethe, “That’s nice and all, but wouldn’t your talk be better when you can actually remember it?” You try, hand gliding from his wrist to his palm to tangle your fingers together. “Let’s get you home now.”

She scoffs, not releasing her grip on his forearm even the slightest bit. “Don’t be a prude, ___,” she spits, “he’s having a good time with me right now, can’t you see.”

Your eyebrows raise at her sudden and rude comment, and you find yourself providing a quick rebuttal. “He’s having a good time because he’s high right now, you’re not that special.” 

“Really now,” she laughs, every bit of malicious intent in her tone. “I’m sure that’s why he always goes out of his way to sit next to me during rotations, right?”

You roll your eyes. “Probably because you take weak, short ass hits, and he knows that.”

"Not because he knows my mouth was there already?” She fights back. “You know my lip gloss looks real cute on him when he goes after me.”

The fact irks you, and you add it to the list of questioning you need to do later. For now, you’re not about to lose to this girl. “I don’t really care if he sits by you, honey,” you reply, finally gathering enough strength to pull Yukhei off and away from her. “Just know that those same lips that hit the blunt right before you are the same ones that ate my pussy twenty minutes earlier,” you smirk, watching as first the shock and then the humiliation washes over her face. 

You throw Yukhei’s arm over you shoulder, staggering towards the doorway as you leave a stunned Rohei behind. “And another thing,” you call out, not even bothering to look at her. “Stop going after my fucking boyfriend.”

As you and Yukhei stumble out of the house, leaving the loud music, alcohol, and weed behind, you realize how warm your face had become during the verbal altercation, turning the air on full blast once you get inside Yukhei’s car. He says nothing as he settles in the passenger seat, letting you drive the short distance to the student apartment he’d been assigned at the beginning of his junior year. 

You’re pulling up on the club when he finally regains power over his tongue. 

“Mean,” he mumbles as you guide him up the stairs until you reach the third floor. 

“Huh?” You say, unlocking his door and ushering him inside. You abandon your shoes by the door, keeping note of his whereabouts as he stumbles around his home. He ultimately crashes on the couch, staring at you with glazed over, red eyes. 

“That was mean,” he repeats, and you raise an eyebrow in confusion. He elaborates. “You didn’t have to be so mean towards Rohei,” he yawns, tugging a throw pillow onto his chest to hug. “She was just being nice, s’all.”

You blink. 

The anger you’d felt towards Rohei seemed overwhelming to you when you encountered her, but it was nothing but a candle flame to the sheer amount of fury that enveloped you now. “Being nice?” You calmly repeat, and Yukhei nods. “Oh, so taking your high as fuck ass to an empty room during a party is being nice now? Flirting with you and touching you in front of my face—that’s being nice?” You splutter.

“Chill out,” Yukhei huffs, sitting up in the slowest manner possible. “We were just smoking,” he mumbles, flashing you an unimpressed glare. 

You snort, tossing his keys on the coffee table to cross your arms over your chest. “Yeah, I know. She loved telling me how her lip gloss looks on you, Yukhei.”

If he wasn’t upset before, he definitely was now as he sits up on the sofa. “Come on now,” he snaps, “you know better than anyone how your little lip gloss sticks to the paper, don’t act stupid now, ____.”

Something snaps inside you, and you whirl directly to face him in anger. “Don’t fucking call me stupid when I’m rightfully mad at you for flirting with other girls.” 

“Rightfully, my ass,” he retorts, tugging his jacket off to throw it over the couch. “She was right, you’re a fuckin’ prude.”

It’s as if every single alarm goes off in your head, eyes narrowed in absolute fury (though it doesn’t stop the water from collecting on your waterline). “If you agree with her so much, then why don’t you invite her over and fuck her brains out tonight, Yukhei,” you spit.

He rolls his eyes, “maybe I fucking should. Probably fucks better than you anyway.”

“You’re such a fucking asshole,” you rasp out, hands balling into fists beside you. 

Yukhei simply flops back onto the sofa, ignoring you even as you stomp back to the entryway with tears in your eyes to put your shoes on. If he says anything  else, you don’t hear it past the thudding of your heart in your throat or the slam of the door behind you. 

There’s not much for you to do then other than stomp your way home in the dark and cold of night, tears blurring your vision on the entire trek back. It’s only as your swiping your ID to unlock the building that you realize you’d left your phone at Yukhei’s, but you’re feeling too humiliated to go back. You settle on washing your makeup off, and tugging your favorite loungewear on (of course, it’s just a pair of shorts and Yukhei’s t-shirt) before moping all night. 

There’s a knock on your door early the next morning that rouses you from what was probably the deepest slumber you’d had in months. It has you shaking the drowsiness away as you try to remember what awoke you in the first place. The knocking continues and you lazily slump off the bed and stumble towards the door. 

There’s a devastatingly handsome man at the door, nothing like his high counterpart that had left you a sobbing mess last night, presenting you with your forgotten phone and an apologetic frown. 

“Hey,” Yukhei murmurs, and you sniff in response, too tired and sleepy to greet him back. “I brought you your phone,” he says, as if you hadn’t already noticed. You snatch it out of his hand. “And I just wanted to—”

You let the door shut in his face, and for a moment all is silent. A second later, and your heart is fluttering wildly in your chest again, the same overwhelming sense of heartbreak you’d dealt with all last night taking a hold of you again. At the same time, the knob begins rattling like crazy, your boyfriend’s desperate voice breaching through the door. 

“Baby, please, I didn’t mean anything last night,” he pleads, the raw emotion noticeable even through the wooden door. “I was high and so fucking stupid, and I know that’s not an excuse but I-I didn’t mean any of it, please,” he begs, and a soft thud against the door leaves you wondering if he’s leaning on it. 

You can feel your heart thundering in your chest, every shaky inhale leaving your throat feeling more and more constricted. It doesn’t take long for your eyes to well up with yesterday’s leftover tears, but you’ll be damned if this dumb ass makes you cry two days in a row. 

Another soft knock pulls you out of the deep hole you’ve dug within yourself. “Please,” Yukhei rasps out, voice oh so vulnerable, “just open the door, baby.”

You tug the door open, narrowing him with the most furious glare you can muster through your watery gaze. “Don’t call me that,” you spit, and you hope he can see how hurt he’s left you. 

“___...” he says, slowly reaching a hand out towards you, one you brush away before turning to head further into your dorm. You plop down on the edge of your bed, turning your phone on to see it’s down to the last quarter of its battery. Yukhei shuffles in, shutting the door behind him before awkwardly hovering over you. 

He doesn’t say much, just plops down on the perfectly made bunk across from you (your roommate has been gone abroad all semester). You start toying around on your phone, watching from the corner of your eye as he plays with the ruby red comforter beneath him, all the while sneakily glancing your way, almost as if he’s unsure if he can even do as much. 

After a couple minutes of awkward silence, you decide to face your fears head on. “So how was Rohei last night?” You murmur, eyes zeroing in on your fuzzy sock-clad toes. Yukhei lets out a harsh exhale, and when you glance up at him, he meets your glare head on. 

“Baby,” he says, soft and slow, in that same tone he uses when he thinks he’s right and he won’t leave until you say otherwise. “I didn’t mean what I said last night, and you know it. I was way out of it and—”

“Shut up,” you spit, unable to contain the annoyance from curling around your voice. “Just say you’re fucking sorry instead of trying to blame this on everything else, Yukhei.”

He blinks, doe eyes comically wide as he takes in your sudden outburst. You take his silence as a sign to continue. “Stop trying to say it was because you were high or drunk or whatever the fuck you were and just say it like it is.” Your chest heaves as a huff escapes you. 

“Calm down,” he says when he regains his wits, “you know better than anyone that I would never say that to you normally, I was just really faded and shocked from all the yelling you were doing.”

“That doesn’t matter, Yukhei!” You burst, hands flailing as the frustration builds inside of you. “You said it, which means you obviously thought it before—”

“I didn’t!” He counters, voice as loud as yours. “It slipped out in the heat of the moment, it was an accid—”

“Oh, everything you said was by accident then? Calling me stupid and a prude? That was all just an accident?”

“It fucking was! Don’t act like you’re not the same way when you’re high. You let any and every guy hang off of you, but suddenly the one time I do it it’s a problem?” He snorts, brows furrowed dangerously close. 

You scoff, your chest feeling tighter and tighter with each passing second. “Don’t you dare turn this on me, Yukhei, because I’ve never said I’d rather be with someone else,” you spit, your words seemingly slowing his defensive attacks. Your traitorous eyes flood with tears. “High or no—,” you mean to end with, but your voice cracks as a sob escapes through your throat. 

You look away in shame, covering your face with your hand. It takes everything in you to stop your frame from shaking because you know he’s watching you with those big sad eyes of his. 

You’ve always been unnecessarily weak when it came to Yukhei, his smile just too bright for your heart and the way he’d softly call out baby making every bone in your body weak. You were too much of a pushover, always won over by his charming words and his talented fingers. Even now, as you feel the bed dip beside you, you don’t hesitate to throw yourself into his arms and let your sobs overtake you. 

His hand rubs against your back as he softly shushes you, murmuring, “I’m sorry,” over and over into your hair. You cry out all the tears from last night and then some. Faintly, from your spot pressed against his chest, you can hear the thundering of his heartbeat and know it matches your own. His fingers continue their dance over your skin, gently massaging your scalp before tracing along your spine, ever so softly and gently. 

“I’m sorry,” he says when your sobs have been reduced to sniffles. “I was stupid, and should have thought about what I said before I said it.” He pauses, and you pull away from your safe spot nestled in his arms to meet his forlorn gaze. “Honestly, I think I was just trying to say whatever I could to hurt you,” he admits, his glazed eyes looking down. The tip of his nose is red and you know it’s taking everything in him to not cry with you. 

Your soft spot for Yukhei is nothing compared to the weakness he has for you. 

He repeats his apology a third time, ducking his head to bump your foreheads together, eyes fluttering shut as he takes in your presence. You sniffle once more before tilting closer to brush your mouth against his. The shaky exhale he releases against you has you melting into his embrace, the fingers that had been clutching to his biceps for dear life, slowly relaxing. 

He gently eases you onto your bed, lips departing from yours to trail down your neck, pressing his knee between your spread thighs. One of his hands glides from its position on your shoulder to cradle the underside of your thigh, tugging it upwards until you’ve thrown it around his waist. The gesture has your bodies pressing closer, cores aligned. 

“You don’t have to,” you murmur when you feel his cold fingers creep beneath your top, dancing along your skin. 

He presses a peck to your collarbone. “I do,” he responds, and you jump when his fingers brush against the underside of your breast. “Have to show you how much I love you.”

Your heart swells, and you find your hands reaching up to tangle in his dark brown locks, the pretty blonde color he’d had when you first met now completely gone. The memory has you thinking back even further in time, to your lazy days spent working the movie theater over the summer, when he’d been just a silly work crush, to the first time you’d hung out and he taught you how to smoke. The rose-tinted glasses in which you view all these memories with him has you murmuring out the words back to him. 

He wastes no time tugging your little shorts off, leaving you clad in just heart-patterned undies that have Yukhei muffling a snort into your shoulder. “You’re so fucking cute, baby,” he croons, letting one lone finger trace along your slit. 

You whimper, thighs quivering as you watch him tease and toy with you until you’re begging him to fuck you already. “But you’re not stretche-”

“Please,” you whine, cupping his cheeks in your palms, “I need you so bad.”

He caves without much of a fight, leaning back onto his haunches to tug himself out of his grey sweatpants. The sight of his slowly plumping cock has you salivating like a dog, and before he leans over you again, you press a palm to his chest. 

He blinks, big brown eyes staring at you in confusion. “What?” You pinch the fabric of his shirt between two fingers, pulling it back, before letting it fall into place again. Yukhei snorts, “oh,” and with one hand, tugs his shirt over his head. The movement gives you a delicious view of his muscles in action, and you feel yourself grow impossibly wetter. 

With the material finally out of the way, he reaches down to tug your panties to the side, giving him the perfect view of your throbbing center. He doesn’t bother to line himself up, just grabs his cock in his hand before plunging it where he knows it should go. He doesn’t waste any time, bottoming out in the first go.

Your toes curl, hands wildly gripping onto whatever they can—the pillow, the comforter, his hair—until they settle on digging into his shoulders. He grinds his hips, leaning down to place his palms on the bed on either side of your head. You proximity allows you to wrap your arms around his neck, but you also use it to press a soft kiss to his jaw. 

“Fuck,” he grunts, finally pulling his hips back until only the head of his dick is sheathed inside you. He stays like that for a second, before thrusting back in full force. “You’re so perfect, baby,” he tells you, repeating the action over and over again. “I don’t know what I’d do with myself if I ever lost you.”

You moan, nails digging into the flexing muscles of his shoulders. You choke out another moan, his speed picking up and rendering you speechless afterwards. A particular hard thrust has you groaning in pleasure, a hoarse shout of “fuck!” leaving your lips. 

Yukhei huffs, hot breath fanning across your face. “You like that?” He taunts, snapping his hips forward, clapping his skin against yours. You nod, hands falling limp as they slide off his shoulders. “Tell me how much you like it, baby.”

Your tongue feels heavy inside your mouth as you struggle to find the words. The drag of his cock against your pussy walls making you draw a blank. “I-I-I love it,” you gasp, the hands that slid off his form a moment ago limply wrapping around his waist. Your head rolls to the left, and you press a chaste kiss to his wrist. “Fuuuck,” you whimper, eyes squeezing shut at the pleasure enveloping you. “Yu-Yukhei,” you cry, though he doesn’t slow down to hear you. “I love you,” you babble, and then say it another two times for good measure. 

He huffs out a chuckle at your mindless state, finally slowing his hips. He begins gently rocking against you, one hand snaking down to toy with your clit. You cry out again, every part of your being feeling so sensitive. “I love you too, baby,” he murmurs, the tip of his pointer finger tracing circles around your clit. Right as you’re about to climax, he pulls that goofy signature move of his and halts everything, letting you hang of the precipice before giving your clit one final caress. 

Your orgasm has you babbling even more nonsense, from how much you love him to how good he fucks, to a randomly thrown in “and fuck you, rohei” that has him smiling against your jawline where he’s been pressing kisses. 

Your body feels featherlight afterwards, and you almost fall asleep had Yukhei not begin shallowly thrusting in you again. You’re reminded of his pleasure, and you reach a hand up to cradle his face as he continues rutting against you. “So good, baby,” you purr, eyes hazy with love and euphoria as you watch him. He smirks at the usage of your pet name against him, turning his head to press a kiss to your palm. 

“You’re usually not a—a dirty talker,” he mumbles, looking away from you for a second to watch how his length plunges into your dripping hole. 

“I can be,” you murmur, you thighs twitching as a result of your oversensitivity. “For you.”

Yukhei snorts. “Yeah?” You nod. “Talk me through it then, baby,” he teases. 

You bite your lip in an attempt to contain a smile, but it still shines through. “Anything for you, baby,” you play along, finally letting go of his face to trace your hand down his abdomen, until it’s rested right above his pelvis. “You really outdid yourself this time,” you murmur, watching how his dick disappears inside of you. “You love fucking me when I cry, don’t you?” 

“You know it, baby,” he responds, flashing you that wicked smirk of his. 

Your laugh trails off into a light moan, and you can’t tell if the wetness you feel is from your own come or a new wave of arousal. “Ugh, I can’t,” you whine, your resolve weakening as you watch him shallowly thrust into you. Your boyfriend laughs, tightens his grip on your waist, and then pushes further in. Your eyes roll back, but you snap them open when you catch sight of your stomach. 

Something pokes up through your skin, and aside from the initial fear and confusion that’d caused your eyes to fly wide open, your entire body tingles anew when you realize it’s Yukhei’s huge cock bulging through your skin. 

“Fuck, baby,” your traitorous tongue starts, eyes hazy as you watch him move beneath your skin. “You’re so fucking big you can see it.”

If you were surprised, Yukhei is completely awestruck at the sight, his body moving as if under a trance as he watches the way his cock makes your skin bulge. Right before you can start babbling like a dumb ass, Yukhei reaches his hand down to cup over your mouth. “Just shut up for a second,” he warns, and suddenly, begins picking up his pace at the same angle. 

Each thrust has his cock pushing up into your tummy, and you moan and whine under his hand as your second orgasm builds inside of you. “Jesus, fuck,” Yukhei spits, eyes wild as he fucks for himself, completely disregarding you. “Look at my fucking cock inside of you.”

His hand stays firmly clamped over your mouth, your only airway available being your nose, so you find yourself huffing and gasping for breath. Yukhei doesn’t notice, his movements growing sloppier and more out of rhythm the closer he gets to his own orgasm, until finally he lets you go. He doesn’t give you a second to catch your breath though, as he shoves his tongue down your throat. 

Suddenly, he freezes, and you can feel his hot seed coating your walls as he groans into your mouth. The sensation of your pussy being so deliciously full of both your pleasures has something inside you snapping, and a second wave of euphoria crashes over you. Your toes curl, and his name falls from your mouth like a mantra, before eventually the both of you fall numb and silent. 

You regain your wits first, reaching a hand up to gently card at his hair, humming a tune as he catches his breath. You think he’s fallen asleep, when suddenly he leans back to look at your worn out features, and says, “did you see my cock, baby?”

You snort, and push his face away from you, much to his amusement. “Yeah, I felt it,” you murmur, and hiss when he pulls out of you, momentarily staring at your overflowing and abused hole.

He groans at the sight. “God, I can't wait to get you pregnant.”

“What?!”

[hyucksoftie]

soft | changbin

genre: fluff, bad boy au if u squint

words: 700+

requested: yes

desc: on the outside seo changbin is cold and bad, but in reality he's really just a soft boy

a/n: im sorry this is so short, i was rlly busy today but i wanted to post :(

—

For as long as you remember, you were always told to keep away from Changbin. Everyone warned you at age 7, and even now. But you always shook your head, telling them that their words were lies. Changbin was nice.

Sure, he would pull on girls' hair and take their Oreos, but it was different with you. He took your Kool-Aid and started sipping on it, but once he saw the tears starting to build up in your eyes he felt the need to give it back.

"Y/N don't cry! I'm sorry! Here, take it." You sniffled and hesitantly took back your Kool-Aid. "I'm really sorry." Changbin, being a little kid too, started to cry at your crying. Soon, you were both crying over a bottle of Kool-Aid. The adults just watched, confused and slightly amused. Changbin would only cry if he was wronged, not if he wronged someone else.

That's how his softness for you blossomed. Even as a tiny boy, he had this feeling that he had to treat you nicely.

He took other kids' snacks and gave them to you, smiling at you with his 3 missing teeth. You'd point to his victim, in tears, but he would just shrug. He only gave it back when you told him you didn't want it.

His ways transitioned into middle school, and then high school. But Changbin was still Changbin. Nice to you, cold to others.

"Y/N, it's cold. Why don't you have a jacket? Have mine." He starts taking off his jacket but you stop him. "I'm fine, really." He gives you a small frown but trusts your words. "Where are we going anyway?" Changbin gives you a cute grin. ”You don't remember?"

You shake your head.

"We’re volunteering at the kindergarten.” You let out an ”oh” of realization. Then you chuckle to yourself. This was the Seo Changbin that freshman cowered under. The same guy who was deemed a ’bad boy’ was going to help take care of 5-year-olds.

When you got there, the teacher glanced twice at Changbin with a surprised look on her face. He looked intimidating but you knew he was going to be great with the little kids.

”Okay class, meet our volunteers: Y/N and Changbin. Everyone say hi.” They all say hi, big toothy grins on their faces.

There wasn’t much to do, the teacher just asked you both to help them with coloring or counting. By the time lunch time rolls around, everyone is already best friends with Changbin. They all love him and love clinging onto his arms.

"Changbin, can you pretty please open my juice?" A little girl asks, extending her hands and handing him her juice bottle. He does what's asked of him but when she takes back the bottle, she drops it.

A few whimpers later, she's crying loudly, tears rolling down her chubby cheeks. "No no don't cry! It's okay, we can get you another one." Changbin comforts her as you clean up the mess, smiling to yourself.

"Here, take this." He hands her a new juice bottle, smiling when she gladly takes it. "Thank you!" The little girl grabs his face and pecks his cheek. You can see Changbin soften up even more.

When you two had to leave, the class started whining. They crowded you both, clinging onto your legs and begging you not to go. "We'll see you again, don't worry." You pat a boy's head. "Please come back soon!"

The walk back home was peaceful. You held onto Changbin's arm and smiled. "The little girl who spilled her juice reminded me of us when we were 7. Do you remember that?"

Changbin laughs, nodding. "You were going to cry so I gave your kool-aid back, then we were both crying."

You both laugh at the memory. "I like you when you're nice, why aren't you like that all the time? You're always making people think you're someone you're not." He shrugs. "If you're cold, people don't take advantage of you. It also drives away the annoying people."

"But you're friends with Jisung." In the back of your head you can hear the squirrel looking boy yelling at you. "At least you're nice to me." You squeeze his arm and smile up at him. "It's only charity work, I secretly hate you."

You slap him playfully. Changbin chuckles and you're smiling once more. You loved seeing his soft side.

[chengchengfans]

Cani!Idol Producer

hi guys this is our first post, you might not understand a lot of it bUT worry not, you have the cani dictionary at the end of the post then it’ll make more sense. REMEMBER before reading any of our posts and being able to take it too seriously (this is just pure meme + joking ok) read our disclaimer

Zhu Zhengting — Dalas Azahar Martínes

>has a youtube channel >only lets his fans call him dalasito >he has dated many gringas >you get hate when he introduces you in his channel as his gf >makes a 40 minute video asking fans to not send more hate to you

Bu Fan — Pedro Javier Domínguez del Monte García

>he looks tough but he loves flowers >works part-time at his aunt’s floristería (and buys flowers for his má'h everytime he gets his pay) >hands on your waist all the time >worries about your wellbeing during parties >“ci te encuentra'h mu’ hesha por'vo me pega'un gritaco de'ezoh’ mujé'h” >calls u mami cuz he’s a mamma’s boy

Cai Xukun — Rodrigo Luis Vázques

>he’s the papi of all the nenas (but blushes when they call him that) >asks u to meet at the closest plazoleta to go for a walk around the barrio >dances sevillana with you at your fiesta de los 18 >90% of his pictures on ig are him in front a mirror taking the pic with his phone covering half of his face

Fan Chengcheng — Miguel de la Rosa

>His mother calls him “chochón” >wanna-be-swaggy-rapper >his idols are lai guanlin and jbalvin >his favorite song for perreo is ginza

Wang Ziyi — Juan Sancho Suárez

>has a closet full of tracksuits in different colors >has a new girlfriend every week and each one is the best thing to have ever happened in his life >he’s been dating the current one for one day and 54 minutes and he’s known her for two days (a record on the longest time he’s known her before dating) >calls them “gorda” >has one of those really small motorbikes that his uncle gave him for his bday (he can’t drive it yet but he shows it off)

Justin — Jaime Cortez

>He likes to use swear words and use the middle finger to look cooler (and then the rest of the gang give him a tapaboca bc he’s too young to be that vulgar) >only hangs out with an older gang (aka the rest of his gente from his tuto) >he looks up to taeyong (his favorite phrase is estoy loco mi dulce coco) >his favorite food is his mom’s puchero but he tells everyone it’s actually kebap

Ling Chao — Xavier Salazar

>his real name is javier but he says it’s xavier (call him xavi) >he had over 800+ friends on tuenti (his name was xavi pakemaz tkgorda) >calls his gf princesa and even tho he doesn’t say it, expects her to call him príncipe too >makes those lame ass graffitis with a heart and the number of the day the started dating inside and below it, it says “un ∞ a tu lado princesa”

click on the ‘read more’ for the cani dictionary

•'dalasito’ - dalas azahar is a spanish youtuber that for some reason that idc about is always involved if different controversies and when we first saw zhengting on pd101 we thought he looked like him

•gringas - a (latinamerican) way of calling white people (gringos is for males)

•floristería - flower shop

•má’h - mom in a rlly stupid way LMAO

•“ci te encuentra'h mu’ hesha por'vo me pega'un gritaco de'ezoh’ mujé'h” - ‘if you feel really exhausted, call me out, woman’ in a really cani way

•papi - daddy

•nenas - babies

•plazoleta - square (in a city)

•barrio - neighbourhood

•sevillana - typical spanish dance (flamenco)

•fiesta de los 18 - 18th birthday party

•chochón - affectionate nicknames from mothers to their children (normally daughters → chochete/chocho). comes from the word ‘chocho’ which means p**sy but in a childish not vulgar but colloquial way

•jbalvin - makes reggaeton music, just for fun here you have a video of noh taehyun from hotshot (and jbj) imitating him

•perreo - twerking (+grinding)

•gorda - means fat, but some canis (and chonis aka female canis call them gordo) call their partners that in an affectionate way

•tapaboca - when a child says bad words it’s common for parents to softly slap their mouth repeatedly. literally means 'mouthcovering’

•gente - people

•tuto - instituto (high school)

•estoy loco mi dulce coco - taeyong’s phrase from baby don’t stop. means “i’m crazy, my sweet coconut”. apparently people from the caribean say “estoy loco como (like) coco”?

•puchero - typical spanish food (especially for winter bc you eat it warm)

•tuenti - a social network that tried to be the same as fb but stayed as the hanging spot of all the canis

•pakemaz tkgorda - pakemaz → ¿Para qué más) aka why more and tkgorda → te quiero gorda aka i love you gorda. typical name canis used as their surnames in tuenti

•princesa - princess

•príncipe - prince

•un ∞ a tu lado princesa - an ∞ by your side, princess

[realmzenith]

answer All the questions for your newest oc

DEAD U HAD TO ASK FOR NEWEST DIDN’T YOU. welp in that case have ya boi eneko

What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?he’s a patient dude! eneko can likely sit still doing nothing for as long as his physiology will allow aka until he needs to go to the bathroom or smth. he does well w low activity as he’s an introspective person

How easy is it for your character to laugh?FAIrly easy?? on a level of one to ten w one being laughs at anything that moves or doesn’t move i’d say he’s a.. 6. ok so not that easily like he IS fairly taciturn but he will smile and laugh at a good joke esp if he’s comfy around the person making it

How do they put themselves to bed at night (reading, singing, thinking?)by crying- no jk he doesn’t… cry… emotions? what are those??? (thats a lie he’s an emotional mess) he will plan for the next day, strategizing and such but that’s honestly rlly bad for him. he stresses easily. on nights when he’s got a clearer head he’ll hum softly or read if he’s not feeling too guilty abt burning off candles. he does like night walks they always clear his mind

How easy is it to earn their trust?oh oof that’s a tricky one. not that easy but at the same time- OKAy yeah just not that easily from one being the easiest to ten being the hardest he’s likely a 8

How easy is it to earn their mistrust?VERY hard. once you’ve gained his trust he will be LOYAL af to u eneko is quiet n not the most expressive but he will absolutely go down in flames for someone he’s deemed trustworthy. a solid 9. 

Do they consider laws flexible, or immovable?laws are flexible defo. he PREFERS structure but if morality trumps laws he will break them. it also helps that he’s lowkey part of a rebellion so technically his existence in the present is breaking the law

What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling?god save us all. he’s a nostalgic dude so uh, oh damn i dont have backstory for him yet i made him last night rainy stop bullying me but ykw we’re doing this. flowers defo. queen anne’s lace n bluebells esp? bring back memories n also pumpkin stew. mixed memories w that one. queen anne’s lace mean sanctuary n bluebells mean gratitude which is LOWKEY ironic considering they spawn memories of burning along w memories of his older sisters so yes?? he does like remembering his sisters but no not in that context. the stew is a weird reminder of his first love n that’s. also complicated 

What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child?talk more and talk better. he’s got a bit of habit of being short abt things and the middle sister of the fam was ALWAYS getting on his case abt no u can’t word it like that but the eldest was and is a terrible influence n absolutely encouraged it bc she found it hilarious. it’s good they love each other i swear

Do they swear? Do they remember their first swear word?yes he’s part of a rebellion and a soldier what more do u eXPECt and no he doesn’t remember his first swear word. he also doesn’t curse that much dont get me wrong. he has to be comfy around u

What lie do they most frequently remember telling? Does it haunt them?gosh uh. eneko is still v underdeveloped so i .. WELL I CANNOt tell u in the present it’s prbly smth angsty involving his sisters or his lovER but the answer to does it haunt him? yes absolutely he must Suffer :)

How do they cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretend they understand, etc)?it depends on the situation’s levity. if it’s smth important he will absolutely bluntly ask for clarification if it’s smth casual he’ll just nod and pretend like he knows what ur talkin abt bc social anxiety is a b

How do they deal with an itch found in a place they can’t quite reach?Suffer in Silence

What color do they think they look best in? Do they actually look best in that color?he doesn’t rlly think abt this. he likes green tho but he wears a lot of black (that’s partially required by his associations and partially bc idk what other colors exist thanks @ god) he looks best in hmmm red

What animal do they fear most?himSELF 

How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first?he’s usually fairly forthright so he sounds like he’s saying whatever comes to mind but the reality is he says abt 1% of what he’s thinking and he won’t say things that are quite obviously rude. who knows tbh maybe he gains secret enjoyment from watching ppl squirm under his bluntness eyes emoji

What makes their stomach turn?torture n he hates the sight of bones. blood he can stand but bones? no thanks. unfort in the business they’re in he comes across both of those more than he’d like. he also hates working in the theoretical. it’s unnerving but he’s fine if someone he trusts is wading thru the abstract for him aka thank u @ kent for being the resident intuitive 

Are they easily embarrassed?nah not particularly 

What embarrasses them?if u slap his BUTT in public jkjk i mean that would embarrass him if u caught him by surprise but hmmm he doesn’t like attention if u draw attention to him he’ll freak a lil that would fluster him also excessive praise esp if it’s expressed publicly. he squirms beneath the spotlight

What is their favorite number?19. day of the month he last saw his sisters smiling

If they were asked to explain the difference between romantic and platonic or familial love, how would they do so?he’d prbly say smth deep which i cannot truly replicate but prbly smth like. “familial love is steady. it’s the mountain beneath which u were born. it’s the protection n the stability n the impossible sheer volume of it that can’t quite be comprehended. platonic love is like cords linking u to them. it’s the promise, the assurance of i will pull u up if u fall and if i can’t ill fall w u. it’s a tug o war and an anchor. romantic love is a stallion. it’s the passion and the chance but if u know how to tame it it serves to make u a better man than u could ever become on ur own. it’s the teamwork and the flames”

Why do they get up in the morning? to execute justice and to experience each new precious day he’s been gifted

How does jealousy manifest itself in them (they become possessive, they become aloof, etc)? it’s ugly when jealousy rears its head in him. he doesn’t SAY anything but his actions become more erratic and he has a harder time focusing. it’s likely he’ll become more impulsive. he’s not DANGEROUs per se but it’s not a situation u want him in

How does envy manifest itself in them (they take what they want, they become resentful, etc)? envy he’s better about. mostly bc unlike w jealousy he doesn’t already have the thing. it’s smth he’ll just push down and soldier thru like he does w most uncomfy things in his life

Is sex something that they’re comfortable speaking about? To whom? oh MY GOD DONT TALK ABT SEX that’s SCANDALOUS- the answer is no he finds it unprofessional in his line of work but he would be comfortable discussing it w his s/o

What are their thoughts on marriage? good. he approves. however, for himself he finds the prospect unlikely considering the high risk nature of what he’s involved himself w. he expects to die before 35 in all seriousness

What is their preferred mode of transportation? in the sweet embrace of death horseback

What causes them to feel dread? the knowledge that everything’s falling apart. that fate and circumstance are slowly but surely chipping away at the very foundation of what u live for and there’s absolutely nothing u can do to stop it. also freaking the appearance of the antagonist or his minions

Would they prefer a lie over an unpleasant truth? in theory? no. in practice? he’s actually p sensitive that’s a difficult one to answer. it would greatly depend on the circumstance but in the long run he prefers the truth

Do they usually live up to their own ideals? yes but in his own eyes, no. he holds himself to extremely high standards and is very self critical. also he has rlly unachievable ideals he’s a lil bit idealistic beneath the guise of realism

Who do they most regret meeting? ohohOHO jk i have no idea not there yet in the story but prbly the antagonist he’s a b

Who are they the most glad to have met? funnily enough? he could almost say the antagonist. he’s the reason why eneko’s working as hard as he is for what he is. without the introduction of the antagonist he would’ve been oblivious to the terrible injustice around him and likely ended up a victim by some obscure mindless death order. however the person he truly admires is the rebel member who took him under her wing however she’s still in the works so i can’t give u much on her

Do they have a go-to story in conversation? Or a joke? i don’t think so, no

Could they be considered lazy? NOPE not in any sense of the word. eneko works extremely hard. he’s v dedicated n dutiful

How hard is it for them to shake a sense of guilt? oh, very hard. he’s naturally altruistic so he tends to take failures to heart and internalize them and considering the dangerous line of work he’s in he oftens has guilt building up inside him. he’ll likely carry it w him for the rest of his life once he’s decided to be guilty abt smth. if someone doesn’t help him w it it can break him down in ugly ways

How do they treat the things their friends come to them excited about? Are they supportive? yes!! he’s a pure son. you’ll definitely get a smile out of him if smth good has happened to u. he’s very supportive of his friends. he would die for his friends and likely all of u i just want u all to know this 

Do they actively seek romance, or do they wait for it to fall into their lap?neither. he finds seeking romance irresponsible w his lifestyle. as i previously stated he expects to die young

Do they have a system for remembering names, long lists of numbers, things that need to go in a certain order (like anagrams, putting things to melodies, etc)? he has fairly good memory esp w faces! but otherwise? i would say he learns best by touch. he’s a tactile person and also fairly auditory. music defo helps him remember things

What memory do they revisit the most often? prbly the day he separated from his sisters. it’s not a particularly good memory but it’s seared in his mind

How easy is it for them to ignore flaws in other people? he doesn’t ignore ppl’s flaws per se? he’s p perceptive so it’s difficult for him to just turn a blind eye at least within his own mind but eneko is v tolerant of ppl and accepting. even if he dislikes u it’s doubtful you’ll know he’s fairly good at keeping up the same respect for most everyone he comes in contact w. but yeah? he knows what flaws are there but he will simply accept ppl bc he knows everyone, including himself, esp himself, has many flaws

How sensitive are they to their own flaws?oh oof yeah he’s?? a p sensitive guy so while he recognizes his own faults jabs to his weak spots will hurt him and he’ll prbly sit on the accusation or callout for days esp if someone accuses him of being selfish or immoral or not having done enough for the ppl he cares abt (smth along those lines) he’d absolutely hate that. but if u tell him he’s blunt he’s going to be like im well aware of that

How do they feel about children? he’s SUCH A DAD he loves kids and he’s rlly good w them they love him bc he’s SOFT ok but he doesn’t plan on having them himself even tho he’d like to for the exact same reasons he isn’t pursuing romance/marriage

How badly do they want to reach their end goal? enough that he’d die to reach it

If someone asked them to explain their sexuality, how would they do so?eneko is either demi or grasexual w pan preferences. he’s also panromantic. if someone asked for explanation he’d be like “i’m attracted to people of all genders” and just leave it at that unless ofc they were like RLLY curious or smth but he doesn’t rlly consider himself demi or pan or anything he just knows he isn’t straight LOL

QUESTIONS FOR CREATORS

A) Why are you excited about this character?…strong silent type. that’s all i have to sayB) What inspired you to create them?i’ve taken some inspiration from other characters from shows, etc. i’ve written so he’s a bit of a love child of the best of my musesC) Did you have trouble figuring out where they fit in their own story?im still figuring it out so that’s a probable yesD) Have they always had the same physical appearance, or have you had to edit how they look?he’s been edited a bit there were a few reincarnations of him like at first he had straight black hair in an undercut style but now it’s WAVY and dark brown and he also got darker. id say he’s like latino w a lil african blood this is esp amusing considering i literally created him last nightE) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?i think we’d get along alright if we could get past the initial awkwardness bc we’re both kind of crap at interpersonal relationships actually he isn’t that bad it’s mostly me and i THINK he might find me slightly abrasive n energetic (even tho im PLOT TWIST low energy compared to most extroverts) but he’s tolerant it wouldn’t be too badF) What do you feel when you think of your OC (pride, excitement, frustration, etc)?love…. i love my soft boi i usually hate my ocs aka i would slap them if given the chance but eneko? deserves happinessG) What trait of theirs bothers you the most?he is not real in general and non existent in actual writing as of the present. the latter tragedy i will soon solve. in all seriousness it’s prbly his bluntness it has the tendency to give me second hand embarrassmentH) What trait do you admire most?his tolerance and patience i have none loLI) Do you prefer to keep them in their canon universe?for now, yes! i dont have a solid grasp of him so until then he’ll stay where he was BIRTHEDJ) Did you have to manipulate or exclude canon factors to allow them to create their character?not rlly! the entire story he’s in is still in the works so everything’s rlly flexible

[stigma-dream]

1 | Try me [ College! AU ]

Pairing : BTS X Reader

Word Count : 6,802

Summary : Remember how in your teen years you use to fantasize how good it must feel being surrounded by the local bad boys, all trying to impress you one way or another trying to gain your attention? Well, this isn’t what you had in mind, nor would you had imagined that it would’ve started with a stupid alcohol-influenced bet.  

Wednesday 11:41 p.m

“Must I really go…?

Not even a week in into the second semester and they were already planning to throw a party by the weekend. “Yes, of course you have to be there! It wouldn’t be the same without you. If I didn’t have my best girl, it’ll be like Batman without Robin!” You couldn’t help but roll your eyes, already being able to see the large toothy grinned he has always flashed.

“Hobi, that was a fail attempt at trying to butter me up you know? Plus we both know that’s not why you want me to go. You just want me to bring your drunk ass home while I won’t be able to take a single sip of alcohol. Why would I voluntarily torture myself like that?” A soft groan left pass your lips as you leaned back into the softness of your living room couch. Kicking both legs up at the already collapsing mess of a coffee table you and your roommate shared.

“C’mon (Y/N), trust me when I say It’ll be fun. Hell - I’ll even try to convince the boys at making the party a bit more… small, so there won’t be much of a mess, alright?” Raising a brow questioningly as if he were there, you reached over for the remote controller and flipped through the channels until you could find something you could settle down to watch for the mean time. “How would my existence being present at such a place  benefit me, hm?“ You heard a loud smack soon followed by a groan as Hobi began to speak again. “It’ll make all seven of us happy, you know you love us too~.” You could practically see the smirk spread against his lips. “Oh dear god no - forget about it. Not leaving my cocoon to interact with other humans.”

You tilted your head to the side, eying the blanket folded neatly on the opposite arm rest. Leaning yourself across the couch only for your fingertips to slightly caress the fabric. “I did not just slap myself once for nothing (Y/N), you’re coming to the party and that’s that.” Before you could deny the offer again, you heard a mumble on the other end of the line before it cut off.

“More like a get together now..”

Frowning at the words he had slipped out, you groaned loudly and threw the phone onto the coffee table, flipping face up at the laying spot you had found yourself in. Complete forgetting about the blanket now. Staring up at the ceiling as the TV made background noise, not letting the death silence of the apartment overcome you with solitude. “Why is he insisting so much…” You mumbled, reaching up to your hair and moving some loose strands away from your field of vision. It didn’t take much that you got lost in your thoughts and sleep had taken it’s toll on you - your eyelids getting heavier by the second as you laid there on the couch and not too long after you found yourself slowly easing into a nice slumber.

Friday 2:38 p.m

Horse babe : hey hey (y/n)

Horse babe : do you already have your outfit ready?

Horse babe : well don’t wear whatever you were gonna bring

Horse babe : we decided to move the party next month as it seemed more appropriate

Horse babe : actually scratch that

Horse babe : everyone spread the rumor so fast that they prohibited us from throwing a party until next month lmao

Horse babe : but you still have to come over tomorrow, just bring something more laid back as it’ll just be the boys and I

“Who the fuck is spamming me” you muttered under your breath, reaching into your backpack that laid in the chair beside you and pulling out your cellphone. The vibration only continued in your hand as you got another harsh shush from the librarian at the front desk. Smiling at her apologetically and bowing your head slightly, you immediately unlocked your phone and put it in silent mode. Seeing the various notifications from Hoseok. Scanning the messages, a giggle past your lips at the thought of the news spreading like wildfire among the student body of the upcoming party. Only to get immediately shut down.

(Y/N) : omg hobi rlly?

(Y/N) : that must’ve suck

(Y/N) : but why must I still go? It’s not like we haven’t seen each other in years

Locking the screen and placing your phone beside you, you looked back up at your surroundings. Luckily, the library was the closest you’ve ever seen it to being empty. There was always half of the room filled with various students trying to cram a full semester worth of information into their heads all at once. In other cases, couples spread around the library goofing around and being all lovey dovey with each other. Groups of friends just storming in and messing around knowing the librarians just didn’t have the energy to even scoul them anymore. This time it was only you and a small group of students at the corner across the room - seeming to be trying to hide away from the eye of anyone. A red flickering light caught your attention and made you glance back down only to see Hoseok has replied.  

Horse babe : lmao ikr like y

Horse babe : and because (y/n) ~

Horse babe : we miss you!  

Eying the text suspiciously, you brought your bottom lip between your teeth unconsciously, beginning to slowly chew at it as you typed away a reply.

(Y/N) : oh wow yea sure

(Y/N) : what’s up with this sudden burst of love y'all have for me?

(Y/N) I swear if it is some sort of prank or joke y'all want to play on me I’ll rip all of your heads off and feed them to Ms. Scott’s snake.

Horse babe : omg stop no

Horse babe : we honestly have nothing better to do this weekend and we managed to find 8 nerf guns in the janitor room

Horse babe : don’t ask why we were there

Horse babe : but even more conveniently, four are one color and the other four another color

(Y/N) : so basically two teams?

Horse babe : bingo

Humming softly you brought your elbow up at the table and rested your head against your palm, debating if you should go or not. If you were absolutely free, you would have immediately agreed to meeting up with them already. But you have already planned on catching up on a series you took a small break from and cleaning around the apartment. Since your roommate is almost never home (due to her spending most of her time with her boyfriend) - you have had the whole place to yourself. Leaving clothes scattered everywhere, having unwashed dishes at the sink from probably weeks old now, and being able to roam around the apartment in nothing but your underwear freely. Though at first it felt like a small heaven having all this freedom to yourself - the dirtiness of the place was finally starting to gross you out.

(Y/N) : under one condition

Horse babe : which is?

(Y/N) : you all have to help me clean up my apartment and binge watch AHS with me

(Y/N) :  beginning from end.

(Y/N) :  all of you - and no dozing off during the middle or chickening out that it’s too creepy for you.

Horse babe : …

Horse babe : How am I friends with you again?

(Y/N) : Your lost ass was roaming around the halls whining for someone to help you get to class the first day

(Y/N) : and as if a cruel punishment you chose me as your victim and we somehow had first period together

(Y/N) : and from then on you clinged onto me for everything

Horse babe : YAH! (Y/N)! That’s no way to talk to your hyung!

Horse babe : plus you make it sound so uncool…

Horse babe : doesn’t matter, now you know how cool I truly am ;)

(Y/N) : lmao you? cool? you’re funny buddy

Horse babe : mk gb

(Y/N) : no bb wait im joking

(Y/N) : you’re so cool you broke the coolness-o-meter

Horse babe : …hell yeh I did

Horse babe : i’m so cool i probably threw yoongi down from his swag throne

(Y/N) : okay that’s enough of that

(Y/N) : so do you agree to coming or nah?

Horse babe : yea sure

(Y/N) : okay goodie well ttyl gotta blast

Horse babe : lmao ight

Gathering your stuff you had spread around the table, you quickly rushed out of the library - you were done for the day anyways so you’re absolutely free to go to your apartment. Walking down to the parking lot to find your car - you were a bit too late to claim a dorm at campus, so you had no other choice but to rent an apartment nearby.

To your surprise you found Taehyung and Jimin leaning against your car seeming deep in conversation within themselves. A small smirk creep onto your lips as you decided to scare the two - having have been leaning against your precious baby you had just clean yesterday. Taking much lighter steps and focusing on your breathing, you strode over to the backside of the automobile, peeking your head only to see that they haven’t noticed your presence

“Why do you think she doesn’t wanna join us tomorrow?” Jimins voice was the first to reach your ears, perking up more, now curious about their conversation. At this angle you could perfectly see how the sunlight hit his vermilion hair, giving an appearance of a soft gold gentle aura around him. His sharp jawline facing you as he tilted his head towards Taehyung, his back leaning against your precious baby as you noticed he raised a leg to press against it - eyes darting to the ground as he began to scratch the back of his neck, seeming to go deep in thought. Seconds later to think his own question further, you noticed how his eyebrows furrow up ever so slightly, a small pout forming on his devilishly full plump lips. “You don’t think…she has started to avoid us, do you?”

Being to caught up in your own thoughts about how he even dared to raise his dirty shoe against the car door, you almost missed what he had said. Your own eyebrows scrunching up, why would he even asked that? There’s nothing that they’ve done to make you dislike them…much less avoid. “ I don’t see a reason to.” Taehyung shrugged, pulling at the sleeves of his rather large jumper and crossing his arms in front of him, mindlessly playing with a loose strand of his black ripped jeans. “Knowing her, she’s probably already stressing about studying or something…” the brunette mumbled, turning to face the shorter male. Jimin cocked an eyebrow at Taehyung but shrugged, nodding as a sigh escaped his lips. “You’re probably right. She always overworks herself too much…it’s not healthy. She should just, i don’t know… lay back and enjoy the moment you know?” Taehyung nodded, chuckling softly as a small grin formed on his features “Like us?”. Jimin looked questioningly at him, taking him a second to understand what he meant. Shaking his head with a mocking laugh he punched Tae’s shoulder teasingly. “Of course not! Could you imagine though? She’ll probably have an heart attack seeing her grades drop and attendance start to stagger it’s perfect record.”

Short laughs were exchanged between the two, not before you pulled out your car keys and sounded the alarm. Watching as both men jumped away startled from the vehicle, both their eyes blown wide like deers caught in the headlight. Noticing how Jimin was clutching at his denim jacket tightly, chest heaving trying to catch his breath seeming to have been knocked out of his lungs. Flashing a mischievous grin at the boys as you arose from your hiding spot. “ I beg to differ, you seem to be the one who’s going to get a heart attack, pretty boy.”

Heads snapped toward your direction as Jimin’s chocolate brown orbs seem to have widen even more, sighing deeply and throwing his head back as he raised a hand to comb his bangs in a nervous manner. “ I swear to god (Y/N) I will get you back for this.”

Smiling even wider now, you turn to look at Taehyung only to see him kneeled down holding his stomach, his hand trying to muffle his laughs. Not helping yourself now you began to laugh yourself, raising hand in the same manner as Tae to cover your fit of giggles. Hearing your laugh was the final straw for Taehyung to let his rich laugh bang against your eardrums, his balance failing him as he fell back clutching his sides. “ o-oh my god! You should have seen your expression! It was absolutely priceless! I couldn’t imagine his eyes going wider, they almost popped out!”

Jimin clicked his tongue as he shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacket, snapping his head towards the younger one. “Yah! Quiet!” Jimin roared, his cheeks flushing as he kicked Taehyung, only kicking the air threateningly. Taehyung rolled over his side and arose from the floor, throwing his arm over Jimins shoulder as he chuckled softly.

“Aish, don’t get all pissy now~ we’re just joking around, right (Y/N)?” Tae turned to you, flashing you a cocky wink as a smirk played along his rose lips. You only shook your head, giggling softly as you walked over to the boys. Filling up Jimins other shoulder with your arm now - but due to your shorter height you only managed to bring down both boys. “Yeh, just horsing around buddy old pal.” Making eye contact with Tae, you both grinned widely, turning back to Jimin who was only frowning, his eyebrows scrunching up as his brown orbs pierced at the both of you disapprovingly.”You will be hearing from my lawyer soon, this is harassment I have the right to sue you.”

Rolling your eyes at the vermilion haired boy, you stepped back, Taehyung taking your spot and wrapping his arms around Jimin, resting his head on his shoulder as he began to hum softly. Jimin shook his head he pushed away and fixed his shirt - tucking the striped fabric back into his jeans as he scoffed. “Whatever. Hobi sent us to warn you if you don’t come tomorrow he’ll expose your double chin pictures”. You raised a brow at him, sighing softly as you pulled out your phone - showing him the text you had exchanged with Hoseok earlier. Watching him as he read the text, Taehyung peering over his shoulder and doing the same. Jimin’s lips then formed a small ‘o’, looking back up to meet your gaze. “Why do we have to help you clean? I didn’t sign up for this” Taehyung nodded agreeing with the male. Only seconds later he pulled Jimin back to whisper something in his ear - a mischievous smile forming on both of their faces. “I take it back, we’ll help you clean.”

Friday 8:30 p.m

The second you had arrived to your apartment, you had collapsed onto the sofa and passed out. Ignoring any plans you had later that day. A annoying vibration and light flashing had startled you awake from your peaceful slumber. Groaning as you opened your heavy eyelids, flinching at the bright light hitting your dazed vision. Reaching out to your phone laying in front of you, sliding the button across the screen not even bothering to see who it was. Throwing your head back into the warmth of the sofa - refusing to look at the screen.

“Ah! I won! She was asleep!”

“Jungkook stop shouting!”

A smack could be heard soon followed by a whine, peering your eyelids open again you noticed that Jungkook had called you over FaceTime, seeing him sit at the familiar sofa of their dorm - Jin sitting on the armrest laying across the top of the sofa trying to show up on screen.

“But hyung you told me if I won this bet you’ll do the dishes tonight!” Jungkook turned to Seokjin, his doe eyes seeming to play with Seokjins emotions as you heard the elders breath hitch - sighing and shaking his head.

“Aish you and your puppy eyes…”

Jungkook smiled mischievously, wiggling his eyebrows teasingly.

Puffing out your cheeks at the scene playing out, you hummed softly and that seem to have caught the boy’s attention. “May I know why you woke me up?” you mumbled out, rolling off the sofa. Reaching out to position your phone to lay against a pillow, hoping you’ll look somewhat decent at this angle. Your eyes flicking over at the right corner of the screen, seeing your bird nest of hair. Sitting on the floor across your cellphone you began to run your fingers through your hair, smoothing out some knots.

“He didn’t want to wash the dishes so he made this dumb bet that if you were asleep i’ll have to wash them. Now, if you both will excuse me, since I am not a whiny baby about having responsibilities I shall go do my part of the bet.” Seokjin arose from his spot in the couch, walking off to what you assumed the kitchen. Now being alone with Jungkook, you raised a brow questioningly at him. “Really?” Jungkook chuckled nervously, shrugging as his hand went to rub his arm. “I usually don’t mind washing them, it’s just…Yoongi hyung didn’t like something Taehyung and I hid in his food…causing him to, y’know.” He let a sheepish smile spread across his lips, glancing at you before he turned to look at something else suddenly more interesting. Clicking your tongue you shook your head, sitting up more now as you began to stretch, a long yawn soon following. “Well that’s none of my business. Anyways since you’re already here help me choose an outfit for tomorrow.”

“What, why?” he questioned, seeing the screen going all blurry as you walked across the apartment going to your bedroom. “Just because, no real reason” you replied, setting your phone against your mirror. “…considering we’re just gonna horse around tomorrow I recommend something you’ll be able to move around freely. Oh! And possibly something you can sleep in? Yoongi-hyung is bringing beer, saying you should relax tomorrow.” He flashed you another smile, the creases around his eyes deepening adorably. “Like for example what i’m wearing right now.” Jungkook pulled at his white shirt, bringing his leg up and holding against his chest smoothly to reveal his sweatpants. Frowning at him you rolled your eyes, pointing at the camera “Stop that, I know you’re showing off how flexible you are…blah”  Frowning further hearing him go into a fit of laughs, shaking his head. “Sorry - can’t help that i’ve been blessed”.

Saturday 10:00 a.m

After having have chosen your outfit for today with the help of Jungkook last night, you both didn’t notice how late it had gotten. Immediately entering the realm of fantasies soon after hanging up the call. Now you sat at the corner of your bed, turning off your alarm. Sighing tiredly you began to get ready, going to go take a quick shower soon after having breakfast and before you knew it, you were already out the door heading towards campus to the boys dorm.

Walking up to the large wooden door, you removed your earbuds and twisted the knob - knowing the boys didn’t bother to lock the door knowing you’ll come. Stepping inside you were greeted by the sight of seeing a shirtless Yoongi with nothing else but his boxers and socks, laying on the couch fast asleep. Sighing you walked over to him, kneeling to his side. There really was a huge difference to awake Yoongi and fast asleep Yoongi. His usually scornful expression added unnecessary wrinkles to his youthful face. His rose tinted lips parted slightly seeming so natural unlike their usual straight line. A soft aura surrounding him - contrary to the cold and intimidating one he usually gave to strangers. You knew Yoongi long enough to know he was neither this or that. Yes, he seemed cold at first glance and his sarcasm can cause holes in your self-esteem but he isn’t always like that. It’s almost like a trial - if you overcome and endure Yoongi’s ruthless personality he’ll take off his cunning mask and show you his genuine self. If you really think about it, it’s like a defense mechanism. You haven’t yet shattered that metaphorical mask but you have noticed he seem more laid back then from the first few times meeting him. That alone seeing him slowly become more open towards you gave you the determination to fully get rid of his mask. Smiling to yourself, you didn’t take note to when you subconsciously moved his raven hair out of his face. Immediately retracted your hand, feeling your cheeks burn up in embarrassment. Glancing the living room you spotted a large blanket and brought it over to let it drape over Yoongi’s semi-nude state. Walking over to the kitchen to grab a cup of water, you heard yawning and groaning coming from the end of the corridor. Raising an eyebrow honestly not expecting anyone to be awake after seeing Yoongi on the couch, you made your over to the tall white door. Knocking gently you soon heard a raspy “come in“, swinging the door open.

Namjoon sat on the edge of his bed, massaging his throat while his free hand holded a couple of pills. Since the room was divided in half, he had his bed up against the wall. A nightstand along with a desk and a large shared bookshelf only for the same set up to be replicated on the other side of the room - connecting all furniture with the large bookshelf. A green rug spread across the middle of the room, bean bag chairs spread out across the rug. Though only the furniture and rug was the thing both had in common - for as decoration they were quiet opposites. Namjoon’s side consisted of a repeated plushie in different colors and poses, neatly aligned on shelf’s he must have put up himself. All of his textbooks and supplies nicely put in their own little containers. While the other side had many figurines, mostly consisted of Mario and Luigi. Posters of said characters adorning the pale white walls. The side of their bookcase, unlike Namjoon, consisted of Wii and 3DS games - along with a few smaller figurines. A few cookbooks and random personal choice novels on the next shelf. While finally the last shelf holded the precious campus textbooks.

Jin’s rather loud snore snapped you out of your own thoughts, blinking and bringing your attention back at the blonde haired man. “What’s wrong?” you questioned, walking over and sitting beside him. “The boys managed to bring a karaoke machine not to long ago and they decided last night-” Hearing him struggle to speak along with the heavy raspiness, you brought a finger to press against his lips you shook your head and glanced into his almond orbs, “don’t talk too much, it’ll hurt your throat even more”. Taken aback a bit, he slowly nodded and cleared his throat, wincing a bit. “I joined them in a screamo song and I seem to be loosing l my voice or something.”

“….why did you join in- actually, never mind.” You sighed, shaking your head. “Just rest today, though I already imagined you were planning on skipping, hm?” Smiling sheepishly he nodded slowly and laid back down, pulling the covers over himself. Turning off the lamp on the night stand, he reached out and gently grabbed your wrist.

“Hey, Jungkook, Taehyung, Jimin and Hoseok are all at their classes right now. None of us are planning to wake up until noon or even later, so why not rest along with me? I swear I won’t try anything funny.”

“are you sure..? I mean, your throat and all I imagine you’ll be tossing and turning in your bed so..” Blinking in realization knowing of his messy way of sleeping with any type of uncomfortableness, he nodded slowly and motioned his head over to Jin. “Touche, how about Jin-hyung then?” Turning your head to the oldest one in the room, you nodded and gave Namjoon a smile. Reaching out and pinching his nose as you made your way over to Jin’s side of the room.

“Alright, get some rest now.”

4:42 p.m

All the boys seemed to have gotten home before you had waken up, finding yourself neatly tucked in Jin’s bed. The roaring of laughter and stomping across the dorm was the thing that had managed to wake you up. Sitting up slowly, you rubbed at your eyes and glanced around your surroundings. Namjoon seem to have already gotten up and Jin was gone too. “How rude, they didn’t even bother to wake me up…” mumbling to yourself, you quickly got out of bed and down to the cold floor. Hissing softly, you spotted Jin’s bunny slippers one of the members had gotten him as a gag gift and immediately rush to slip them on. Wiggling your toes in the warm fabric, you headed towards the door and down the corridor where the noise was coming from. Peaking your head only to see all seven men sitting at the couch and floor, seeming to be playing some sort of video game.

Hoseok was the first to notice you, jumping out of his seat and skipping his way towards you. “(Y/N)! Everyone, sleeping beauty has awoken!”

He wrapped his arms around your shoulders and brought you in for a short hug, kissing the top of you head as well. Giggling at his boldness, you wrapped your arms around his waist, tilting your head up to meet his gaze. “Yeah, yeah whatever. Happy to see me here? I couldn’t risk the chance of you showing everyone my true nature.” Chuckling he only shrugged and glances up behind you, retracting his arms and stepping back.

“He’s not the only one happy to see you, y'know?” A smooth velvety voice reached your ears and you didn’t even need to look twice to know who it was. Feeling him snake his arms around your waist and lift you up, you squeaked softly and gripped onto his firm arms. “Taehyung!” You laughed, throwing your head back onto his shoulder as he began to swing the both of you around. A fit of giggles and laughed erupted from you two only to be stopped.

“Ah c’mon, you always want her to yourself Taehyung-hyung.” Being set down, you glance up only to be meet with a white shirt, tilting your head further up you saw how Jungkook pressed his tongue into the inside of his cheek, crossing his arms across his chest in a spoiled manner.

“Aish, sorry sorry, we haven’t talk in a while. I only saw her briefly yesterday ~” Taehyung cooed, resting his chin on top of your head and tightening his grip on your waist. Jungkook scoffed “and? I haven’t seen her in over a week.” Frowning, you pushed Taehyung’s arms off of you only to feel another set of strong arms slide under your legs and another to support your back, being lift up by the younger one. A proud smirk appearing on his fine lips as he held you against his chest. “Guys. You’re acting as if I’m some priced possession or something.” you groaned out, knowing your physical strength was nothing compared to theirs. Letting yourself loose and to lay limbless in Jungkook’s arms.

“Isn’t that obvious?”

“Pretty much, yeah”

Scrunching your eyebrows up, you sighed loudly again and only shook your head.

“Stop.”

Yoongi’s voice made the three of you snap your heads towards his direction. Seeing him sitting at the end of the couch, arm propped up against the armrest as he rested his head on the palm of his hand - his eyes staring back blankly. “Set the poor girl down, you both are all up in her personal bubble.” he mumbled, turning his attention back to the large screen. Jungkook immediately sets you down mumbling an apology - only to hear Jimin cry out in defeat as his character seemed to have lost. Jungkook striding over to take up the losers spot and go up against his hyung, Hoseok.

“(Y/N)” Jin called out, motioning you over to the spot between him and Namjoon. Squeezing yourselfs between them, you smiled sweetly at both. Jin sighed and shook his head, chuckling softly as he gently rubbed your back. “I must say, you really managed to stir those three over there up pretty good. I don’t know if it’s because of their ego not letting them cry defeat at losing a damsel to another or because of pure spoiledness, but damn.” Raising a brow at him questioningly, you tilted your head. “Three of them?” you questioned, only to receive another nod from the man. “Yeah, Jungkook, Taehyung and Jimin. I’m surprised Jungkook is even managing talking to you way more comfortably than Jimin, probably because he’s older than you?”

“Wait, I’m sorry, Jimin?” you asked, Jin chuckling once again and nodding towards Jimin’s direction, your gaze following and sure enough Jimin sat across, squeezed between Yoongi and Taehyung but his gaze seem to be focused on you. Making brief eye contact he sheepishly looked down, raising his hand to comb out his bangs as he lets them drape across his features, seeming to be trying to hide away from your gaze. Though at his failed attempt of hiding his face - you could see pink beginning to tint at the tips of his ears. Biting your lip trying to stop yourself from smiling at his adorable ways, you turned back to Jin only to see him gone and being replaced by Hoseok.

“They’re not the only ones” Namjoon’s hot breath reached your neck, making you shiver feeling goosebumps starting to form. Jumping slightly in surprise, you didn’t even dare to turn your head to look at him - keeping your gaze locked on the screen. “Oh? How so?”

Feeling his chest vibrate against your back as he chuckled, leaning in closer - his hair starting to tickle at your skin. “Well, you already know about the three younger ones, but what about the three eldest? Jin-hyung, Yoongi-hyung and Hoseok. Though they are much better at hiding it, I’ve known them long enough too to know when there’s something going on.” he stated. “Someone’s got their voice back,” you joked, pulling back a bit to turn to look at him questioningly. “but - what do you mean? I’m sure they’re not attracted to me in any other way than platonically so-”

“There you are right, I believe the same. But knowing them, it didn’t just come out of nowhere. There’s something going on between them all.” Namjoon pulled back now, resting against the couch. You looked at Namjoon still, various thoughts running through your head as a certain male called out your name.

“(Y/N)!” Jungkook called out, motioning you over to the empty seat beside me. “Try and beat me in this round!”

Much later that afternoon everyone has gathered around in the living room - all eight sitting in a circle facing each other. Panting and heaving filled up the room, the smell of sweat and alcohol being the only aroma present. Having have already played with the nerf guns as promised, Yoongi bringing out the beer and Taehyung soon after pulling the karaoke machine out you swear your body couldn’t take any other physical activity to do. Having had screamed your lungs out while singing a duet with Jungkook and running around the whole dorm trying to escape Hoseok’s and Jimin’s nerf hits - all while having alcohol running through your system.  

“Guys, Guys, Guys” Taehyung spoke into the mic, licking his lips as he took a deep breath, his eyes fluttering trying to stay awake as the alcohol threatened to play effect - pausing before speaking again. “Let’s play some more. Spin the bottle anyone?” Hoseok was the first to react, nodding ecstatically. “Yeah! Here,” he gripped the bottle beside him and took a swing at it, gulping down the remainder of the liquid. Sighing contently as he lays the bottle in the middle of the circle. Everyone wiggled in closer, Jimin the first to reach out for the bottle. Spinning it only for it to go flying over to Jungkook, making both males laugh.

“Nice one Jimin-hyung,” Jungkook cooed, glancing down at the bottle and pointing over at Jin “but it looks like Jin-hyung is our first victim.” Jin perked up, hearing his name bringing him out of his train of thoughts. Jimin grinned widely, deep creases appearing under his eyes. “ Truth or Dare?” Jin hummed in thought, rotating the bottle in his hand, observing as the liquid splash around. “Truth”

Audible sighs and groans could be heard, shaking your head at the groups immature behavior. “Guys, come on now”

“Alright, let’s see hmm…did you use cheats to win earlier?” Jimin questioned, raising a brow at the elder one.

“Yeah! That was totally unfair how you won!” Hoseok cried out, Namjoon nodding agreeing with him.

Jungkook snorts and shrugged, looking over at Hoseok. “But I was able to beat his ‘impossible ways’ “. adding air quotes to his statement. “But you’re also Mr. Good at Everything I do.” Yoongi spoke up, taking a swing from his beer. Before Jungkook could respond, Jin spoke up. “No, I didn’t cheat - just many years of training.” Everyone seem to just drop the topic and nod, Jin reaching out for the bottle and spinning it. Yoongi chuckled softly as the bottle landed on him, looking at Jin. “Dare.” he said, Taehyung’s cackling could be heard. A few other guys chuckling softly to themselves. “Chug down two beers in a minute or less, take even a second longer and we all would take a turn at slapping you across the face.”

It went out like this for a while - asking dumb questions and making idiotic dares. For example when Taehyung dared Jungkook to jump from the top floor only to land in a bucket. Of course the rest of the guys had to stop Jungkook from actually doing it claiming that if he didn’t it’ll hurt his pride - all while Taehyung was busy filling a bucket up with water. Or when Namjoon had to rip apart one of his plushies being dared from Yoongi. Being left close to tears and clutching at his ‘son’. Hoseok had to come clean that he was absolutely terrified of any bondage play. Jimin giving Jungkook a lap dance that only ended up in a playful fight.

“Ah! It landed on you Yoongi!” Hoseok exclaimed, clapping as he saw how hard Yoongi was trying to remain conscious, his head keep bouncing as he went into short naps. Snapping up hearing  Hoseok and nodding, waving his hand as he ruffled his hair in a form of distraction. “Yeah, yeah. Dare.”

Namjoon pulled Jin over, whispering something into his ear as Jin nodded, crawling over to Hoseok and whispering it into his ear. A large smile spread across his features, nodding quickly and clapping once again to gain everyone’s attention. “Yoongi! I dare you to kiss (Y/N)!”

Choking on a sip you were taking from your beverage you turned to Hoseok wide-eyed. “I’m sorry what?” Hoseok only winked at you, nodding over to Yoongi’s direction only to see him already crawling over to you. “Don’t I have any say in this?” you questioned and before you know it Yoongi tugged at your wrist - making you turn your head in his direction. “No.” Acting fast he cupped your face in his hands - though his touch was cold you could feel how gently he was trying to be, his skin smooth and soft. His eyes narrowed as he observed your features, unconsciously licking his lips as he slowly began to lean in. “I’m sorry” he mumbled softly, the kiss fast and chaste. It only lasted a few second to the others, but to you, it lasted minutes. Not because of how amazing the kiss was or because how you felt sparks, but because you could feel how hard Yoongi tried to shove his tongue down your throat. Plus, he reeked of alcohol - being the one who had drank the most.

Pulling apart from each other you could help but scrunch up your nose in disgust, rubbing your mouth with the sleeve of your hoodie. Taehyung took notice and raised a brow, pointing a finger up at Yoongi who hasn’t moved from his spot. “His kisses suck don’t they.” he claimed, gaining everyone’s attention. You shook your head immediately as a blush started to tint your cheeks “no it’s not that”

Jungkook pulled at your wrist forcefully causing you to tumble over into his lap, his free hand moving to tilt your chin up “I’ll show you what a real kiss is~” he cooed, his lips dangerously close to yours. Before you had time to even react, you were being pulled again only to fall into another lap. Strong arms wrapping themselves around you protectively. “No!” Jimin whined, the alcohol playing with him. Jimin nuzzles down into your shoulder and breathed in your scent, giggling happily to himself as he held you close. “Mine.” He said, kissing at your neck lovingly.

“Woah, woah! Calm down there!” Jin shouted, pulling you out of Jimins grip and setting you beside him. “We do not treat a lady like that! As if she’s an object you could easily claim, hah. Right Hoseok?” Jin turned to Hoseok, receiving his approving nod only to nod himself as well. “That’s what I thought, now -”

“But what if she wants to be claimed?” Taehyung chirped up, tilting his head innocently.

Jin narrowed his eyes at the brunette and raised an eyebrow “what do you mean?”

“I meant what I said - what if she wants to be claimed by one of us? The one who can win her heart the first. Whoever she falls for has the right to completly claim (Y/N) as their own.” He stated, the attention of the rest of the boys turning to Taehyung.

“Wait then, like a bet?” Questioned Jimin

“What if no one can swoon her?” Added Hoseok, perking up curiously.

“Yeah like a bet. We all have a month to see who can win her over and if we can’t.” He paused to think for a moment. “Then, she has the choice to completely forget about us and leave or stay. But, if you’re asking me, knowing how dirty some of you play she’ll want to leave.”

“I’m in.” Jungkook spoke, scooting over to Taehyung’s side.

“Me too.” Hoseok spoke, joining the other two across from him.

Yoongi only silently crawled over, sitting beside Hoseok and nodding at Taehyung.

Jimin only leaned against Jungkook already having being sat beside Taehyung and raised his hand up in the air proudly. “I shall join as well.”

Jin looked at all five men and shook his head, wrapping his arm around your shoulder and hugging you to his side. “This is ridiculous, I can’t even believe you-”

“Hyung. If you play, you could save (Y/N) from all of our little tricks at winning her over you know? Playing as well and all.” Taehyung added, a visible smirk spreading to his lips as he raised his eyebrows at the elder.

Jin looked at you worriedly and squeezed your shoulder, sighing as he brought his head down to debate with himself to accept the offer or not. Finally he nodded and slowly let’s go of your shoulder, mumbling a small apology as he went over to join the rest.

“Don’t I have any say in this?”you groaned, honestly not surprised by their behavior. Taehyung shook his head and turned to Namjoon who had sat himself on the couch. “What about you hyung?”

Namjoon shook his head and smiled “I can’t, I view (Y/N) as a little sister so if I joined - it’ll be kinda weird. Plus, she’ll need the help of someone who’s actually capable of having some information of you all.”

Taehyung nodded and shrugged, turning back to face you with a large boxy smile. “Alright well! Do you wanna play along with this bet, (Y/N)?” Taehyung questioned, his arm reaching out. Rolling your eyed you immediately took his hand into yours and shook it, a mischievous smirk plastered against your face. “Try me.”

[pmcurtis]

Yah hi ik u dont know me but i rlly love ur blog! Im so excited to even be writing u this. Can i get something about like being left at the alter and the guy of Your choice comforting you? Its happened to me before and i would love to get the comfort and love from a fictional character that i never got in real life ;]

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! You're dating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It's been three days! Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. - Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You've really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don't have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you'll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Oarl Kasell. But don't kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours. - Bees hang tight. - We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. "They make the honey, and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He's been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It's a common name. Next week... He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... Next week... Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting... - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn't hear you. - No. - No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you've never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There's a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit. Right... there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I'm going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I've just about had it with your little mind games. - What's that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You're bluffing. - Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I'm sorry about all that. I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... Yeah. Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute... Are you her little... ...bedbug? I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? - Yeah, but... - So those aren't your real parents! - Oh, Barry... - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing bees! Don't y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I'm going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don't! It's what he wants! Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I... I blew the whole case, didn't I? It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don't know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don't check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. Bees don't smoke. Right. Bees don't smoke. Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. That's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over? Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don't make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about... Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. But you can't! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It's a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I'm OK! You know what this means? All the honey will finally belong to the bees. Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You'll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery's right? - What do you mean? We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We're all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... But it's just a prance-about stage name! ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan't breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We've never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We're shutting honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What's going on? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating? - They're home. They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now... Now I can't. I don't understand why they're not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? - What did you want to show me? - This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They're all wilting. Doesn't look very good, does it? No. And whose fault do you think that is? You know, I'm gonna guess bees. Bees? Specifically, me. I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. It's notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. That's our whole SAT test right there. Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course... The human species? So if there's no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn't it? I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How do we do it? - I'll sting you, you step on me. - Thatjust kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It's the last chance I'll ever have to see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?! Barry? - Roses are flowers! - Yes, they are. Flowers, bees, pollen! I know. That's why this is the last parade. Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down? Oould you slow down? Barry! OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you with the flower shop. I've made it worse. Actually, it's completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined. I don't want to hear it! All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. - Bees. - Park. - Pollen! - Flowers. - Repollination! - Across the nation! Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, Oalifornia. They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. It's real. Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. Thank you. It was a gift. Once inside, we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! Yes, I got it. - Where should I sit? - What are you? - I believe I'm the pea. - The pea? It goes under the mattresses. - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal. You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! Let's see what this baby'll do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we do is blend in with traffic... ...without arousing suspicion. Once at the airport, there's no stopping us. Stop! Security. - You and your insect pack your float? - Yes. Has it been in your possession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes? - Remove your stinger. - It's part of me. I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job. Oan you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! I think this is gonna work. It's got to work. Attention, passengers, this is Oaptain Scott. We have a bit of bad weather in New York. It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay. Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. I gotta get up there and talk to them. Be careful. Oan I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. Oaptain, I'm in a real situation. - What'd you say, Hal? - Nothing. Bee! Don't freak out! My entire species... What are you doing? - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney! - Who's an attorney? Don't move. Oh, Barry. Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry! What happened here? There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. One's bald, one's in a boat, they're both unconscious! - Is that another bee joke? - No! No one's flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status? This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York. Where's the pilot? He's unconscious, and so is the copilot. Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. - Who's that? - Barry Benson. From the honey trial?! Oh, great. Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. It's got giant wings, huge engines. I can't fly a plane. - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? - Yes. How hard could it be? Wait, Barry! We're headed into some lightning. This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful scene is developing. Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory... That's Barry! ...is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane. I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. They've done enough damage. But isn't he your only hope? Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. Their wings are too small... Haven't we heard this a million times? "The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense." - Get this on the air! - Got it. - Stand by. - We're going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you. Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That's why I want to get bees back to working together. That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow! - Hello! Left, right, down, hover. - Hover? - Forget hover. This isn't so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?! Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. - That may have been helping me. - And now we're not! So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! Don't have to yell. I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble. It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! It's not a tone. I'm panicking! I can't do this! Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - Hold it! - Why? Oome on, it's my turn. How is the plane flying? I don't know. Hello? Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? The Pollen Jocks! They do get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow. - Hello. All right, let's drop this tin can on the blacktop. Where? I can't see anything. Oan you? No, nothing. It's all cloudy. Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry. - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. - What? - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. Bring the nose down. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - What in the world is on the tarmac? - Get some lights on that! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - Vanessa, aim for the flower. - OK. Out the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. Land on that flower! Ready? Full reverse! Spin it around! - Not that flower! The other one! - Which one? - That flower. - I'm aiming at the flower! That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. Rotate around it. - This is insane, Barry! - This's the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! Just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Oome on, already. Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly! - Yes. No high-five! - Right. Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! - Thank you. - But we're not done yet. Listen, everyone! This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say? Are we going to be bees, orjust Museum of Natural History keychains? We're bees! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain. Hold on, Barry. Here. You've earned this. Yeah! I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That's our Barry. Mom! The bees are back! If anybody needs to make a call, now's the time. I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Oan I help who's next? Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel! Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! I had no idea. Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. Sorry I'm late. He's a lawyer too? I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. You're a lifesaver, Barry. Oan I help who's next? All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life! Let it go, Kenny. - When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all go. - Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is. Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. - Thinking bee! - Me? Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Oan we stop here? I'm not making a major life decision during a production number! All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually no rehearsal for that.