#i rlly hope i did the tldr thing right

[damagedcoda6669]

Hey Lucifer, i'm sorry I am telling you this since ik you and Al are close, but that's exactly why i'm telling you this...

As you know, Al used to be in birdie drama spaces, and he still is, but just under an alt.

Remember the borderline 12 drama? Al made that happen to see how the public would react since he is planning bigger things. He wants to see how fast your "fans" will turn on you, and he wanted to see how many would defend you. He knew doing the borderline 12 thing would get you in trouble, he even was surprised with how well it went considering YOU posted it when he actually wanted to post it on his account and mention you drew it.

I know this since i'm also in birder drama servers, but I just think Al is taking it too far...

He is truly playing the long game and trying to solidify your trust within him so that those leaks that are happening cannot be traced back to him. Al has truly formed an attachment to you, but not in a good way.

That borderline 12 drama was also to test your loyalty to him and it worked since you believed that he meant no harm when all he truly did mean was to harm you. You may think Al is genuine and would never, but just try to analyze a few of his messages pertaining to birder drama.... that's all i'm going to allude to because I don't want him to know who i am. I don't want him to doxx me.

I will say, Al does share a lot of interests with you and he does find you fun to be around, but that's because he sees you as a toy instead of a person.

Just- please be careful with Al, he is betraying you behind closed doors and PLEASE don't listen to him when he says all the anon's are lying, they are just scared of him finding out because right now he is really favored in birdie drama spaces since he infiltrated you so well.

Ik you might not believe me since i said I was in birdie drama spaces and i will admit, i do talk bad about you.... However, I never leaked anything nor have I been involved in what Al has been doing. I am mainly a lurker and to gain trust in the birder servers I just regurgitate the hate everyone else has for you. I feel really guilty, which is why i'm writing you this.

Other's have spoken out in anon asks on your moraltonz account, and Al was really upset with them and tried doxxing them to get them out of the birdie servers he's in so his plans don't get foiled by them, since he knows you get paranoid easily. Al is really worried about you finding out about him, so I'm hoping you get to this ask.

You may believe it's people trying to ruin you Lucifer, but other asks that pretty much imply it's birdie haters was just a tactic used to try to get the people truly coming forward to be discreditable.

Also, read my username and think back to all the birdie drama and all the people involved. I won't say too much, but I hope you can get what I am alluding to. If not, it's ok.

TLDR;

PLEASE BE CAREFUL WITH AL, LUCIFER. Please.

It's disheartening what Al is doing to you, with all the leaks, with the ploys, with how he talks about you, and just with everything he is doing.

Al has not stopped interacting in birdie drama spaces, he lied to you.

I truly think Synni is your only friend, because even though she used to be in birdie spaces, I don't think she has an alt.

I'm sorry i'm telling you all of this considering how close you and Al are, I really am sorry he is doing this to you. /gen

the lengths u guys go 2 2 try 2 induce my paranoia/delusions n turn me against ppl u dont know is crazy. if this is true, if u actually cared abt me, use ur main. say it 2 my face. give me evidence. ALSO ADMITTING U SHITTALK ME AND ACTIVELY PARTICIPATE IN BIRDIE DRAMA SERVERS IS CRAAAZY. I AM NOT GOING 2 LISTEN 2 A WORD U SAY, U R JUST ADMITTING 2 BEING A BAD PERSON. if u feel sooooo guilty, why r u still there? if al was rlly leaking shit in these spaces, scs and evidence wouldve gotten back 2 me by now. itd have spread online and id be able 2 see artwork n images that i havent sent 2 anyone besides them. also??? stop misgendering them??? weird ass

anyway yeah, good lie, u fabricated an interesting story, but gimme some proof. gimme gimme i want those discord scs that dont exist *rubs my hands 2gether nefariously*

heh u dont know this but.. jotaro is leaking everything

[perfectlyfinespacebacon]

everything now netflix

some spoilers!! and apologies for the long post.

i honestly really enjoyed it! it was almost like a skins/euphoria but imbued with like a heartstopper/sex education vibe in the sense that it dealt with serious teenage issues/mental health but light enough that it doesn't weigh down on you. my character thoughts:

mia was so infuriating almost at all times. obviously under the circumstances, it makes sense but there's this level of likeability that was missing for me. maybe it was the writing or the acting who knows but in my mind it's like this: im making an albeit an unfair comparison to effy from skins or even rue from euphoria, but they were battling their demons and making all the wrong choices but there was still this level of “i want to root for them” that's missing with mia personally.

in a similar vein with alison, she is meant to be this popular rich mean girl archetype who surprises you but obviously in the first half of the season she's supposed to be kind of unlikeable but i found her very endearing. as for the relationship, alison and mia DO NOT belong together. like at all. i am not rooting for them. alison in a way forced a relationship with mia and then also mia was like too scared to say anything about it. its clear that alison liked mia waaaaay more than mia liked alison. like carli says in the last ep as well, “to learn to not be a fantasy to each other”, alison needs to take mia off this pedastal she has for her. i'm very interested to learn more about her character outside of mia though if they hopefully continue the show. i have a feeling that we are supposed to think that she and cameron hooked up at the end or something but i'm rlly hoping its a red herring.

carli is also a character i would love to learn more about. she definitely has more chemistry with mia and i love her for standing her ground against mia, as she needs to help herself before she can be in a healthy relationship. but i will say it was pretty shitty stringing cameron along.

speaking of cameron, i didn't quite expect to like his character as much as i did. in a way his arc in the season is battling toxic masculinity as he kinda seems to come off as this laid back, bro kinda guy but he cares and loves so deeply. it wasn't right calling bec a "sket". i'm not british but obviously its like equivalent to slut, and im very glad he owned up to it. i'm also really interested to know more about his family and stuff.

i love bec as well. she deserves all the happiness in the world. im glad she was able to air out her things with mia, albeit in a very treacherous way and i also love how her mom was supportive of the abortion. i'm honestly kinda tired seeing the mom kicking out the daughter for getting pregnant trope so it was nice to see a mom just being supportive. bec is just such a wonderful friend and mia honestly has a lot to make up for. re not telling mia about her and cam, it was honestly frustrating seeing mia be so petty. i understand that its a big secret and she felt like everyone was hiding things from her but its also right to have secrets amongst friends, idk that really stuck out to me.

will for me had the weakest arc as in it wasn't the most interesting to me. don't get me wrong, i love the character but it just wasnt giving a whole lot to me. i recognize him as more than the comic relief but also at the same time he was stirring the pot in a lot of the arguments / blowups the group had, consciously and unconsciously. though i will say will x theo <3 but comedic duo of the century is will x alison. the little song they did for mia's birthday is stuck in my head.

tldr; great characters and great show. it's really hard to find a show about teens as a 25yo living in a 16yo body that i enjoy and don't find annoying. i just love how each character was able to be so nuanced despite being an ensemble cast.

but knowing netflix's track record it's gonna get cancelled because a) it's good b) has wlw content... but i really hope not.

[dolmimi]

What's ur love hate relationship with Whitney like broski

hey anon thats a rlly interesting question u got there.... i'm gonna use he/him pronouns bc he's male in both runs

hate because.... hes a scoundrel, a brat, a menace, and a monster. he "loves" pc in his own twisted way (that is if you keep him at high dom). love because... his soft moments got me hooked. his fleeting moments of vulnerability, which he hides behind a tough shell. the fact that vrel says he would be a good parent, and how he knows the town is fucked....i've been trying to understand whitney's character lately. like why is an asshole like him a love interest?

i think most would observe that he likes being in control all the time, thats why he asserts dominance over others (in school, to his gang, and pc). it makes me wonder about his background. did something happen to him? but also, it's possible that nothing happened too, he could've just been perceptive. i think it's understandable to put up a rough front when you live in a town like that. he seems to have a fear of vulnerability (him being hesitant to show softness in public, but is a bit more soft in private).

iirc vrel confirmed that pc makes him feel things he never felt before (i saw this in a screenshot and i don't have the source, sorry 😔). i think that may explain why he treats pc like property. he has never felt about anyone like that before, and it makes him vulnerable. since he has a need to be in control, he asserts dominance over pc. hence why he calls them toy, property, etc etc. for awhile it confused me because he would share pc with others.... and act jealous when someone looks at them? but now i understand (of course, i don't think it's right. he treats pc like an object, which is toxic. hope i didn't give this impression 😭). he doesn't wanna be taken advantage of, and is also emotionally constipated.

tldr: i love and hate whitney because hes an asshole but is also very intriguing.

[cinnbar-bun]

My question, how do you feel about FV being…Yknow. That stuff. I’m not trying to start an argument or anything I just want to make sure you’re not excusing it, because you seem rlly nice and I love your stuff 😭 ofc I know it’s a rough topic so no rush on answering 🙏

I don't mind answering this- TLDR: no I obviously do not excuse his actions nor will I ever. My fave character is Miss Lucy Steel herself I would never excuse anything he's done especially to her. This is gonna be a bit rambly, sorry.

Do I still like him? Yes. Because evidently, he's a fictional guy and I am no stranger to liking evil men (cough cough Sir blow up a kingdom Crocodile cough cough). I do think FV is pretty attractive and charismatic (duh, of course he is!), but I don't like him because I think he's a good guy. I'll try to explain why I like him so much (I'm putting this under the cut because I rambled too much lmao)

I've said this before and I'll say it again, FV is a complex character. He's a hypocritical imperialist who is the token for how charismatic nationalists use and abuse pride and religion to their advantage. I like SBR for many things, including the religious symbolism and as a commentary on American/Western imperialism. SBR is deeper than just 'Johnny touches Gyro's balls and decides to race across America for Jesus', and Valentine showcases SBR's complexity both with his motivations, his ideals, and his physical prowess.

I don't like FV because I think he is right, either. He's not. I hope my messaging has been clear that he's very bad and very wrong. He is just interesting to me as a character. As a brown woman who was born and raised in America (I specify this for a reason), has extensively studied American history and American literature for my degree, Valentine is a gold mine of introspection and criticism from Araki. He is one of my favorite characters because he is the worst type of guy around- but he's also a realistic portrayal of a 'patriotic' politician taken to its limits and given the powers of essentially god. I had to study a lot of war topics and political speeches for my education, and Valentine is easily someone I could study all day and night about because goooood he is such a BEAUTIFUL representation of how corrupt leaders come into power (but people will say 'why did so-so come to power and why did no one argue against them' great, you have the exact blueprint right there with FV).

I love reading about politics and history. That's why FV specifically appeals to me. He would not work in another setting nor would he appeal to me as much if anything was changed. And it's especially important that he was a charismatic American with the specific goal of American world domination and suppression of all other countries. I, in fact, am working on a series based on his life before SBR because I love trying to imagine how this young boy who's father died in a war became the power hungry zealot he is later.

So yes, I am not ashamed to admit I love and adore him as a character. He's an evil that still exists in the world and I love reading about him. I do not excuse his actions, because they're fucking terrible, obviously. But his character and role in SBR is truly remarkable and without him, SBR would not be as praised as it is. FV drives the narrative beyond being a stationary macguffin, and I'm so glad Araki used him to portray the power-hungry politician as indecent and terrible.

Hope that cleared it up! Please feel free to discuss more with me about him, I love talking about him so much!!!

[avellanas-nutty-empire]

Covid has really been hitting people hard, but today, as a University student in her third term, I'd like to talk about schools spesifically

I remember last year in my second term when classes got moved online. I had an anxiety attack week one because I just couldent do it. I just cant do school things while I'm at home - I cant even read for leasure (something I really enjoy doing) at home. Theres too many House things to do at home, that's why I designated spesific things to do elsewhere. But now I cant leave my house except for work.

My english teacher too, told me of the day it was announced the whole college was going online, that he saw teachers crying in the hallway. If I were teaching that year it would have been me aswell. But instead, I took the 2020 fall term off, picking up more hours at my essential worker job with my terrible boss who somehow hadn't gotten fired yet. I took the term off, hoping to avoid the chaos of online learning while it was at its worse. But I couldent avoid online school forever, if I skipped a second term in a row i would have to re-enroll; an unnecessary spending of 50$.

This 2021 spring term, I was talking with my counselor about the due date to drop classes; he said the final day to drop without getting marked down for it AND fined for a late fee was feb 17th, a good 3 or 4 weeks after classes start. Great. Except today I got an email saying a 3% late fee would be applied by the first of February.

That was 17 days of class I could have spent figuring out if I had too much on my plate or not. I was already prity confidant I would keep astronomy and psychology, but Spanish Film became a big issue today. The teacher was sick the first 2 days, so today was our first real lecture. Her native language is spanish, and thus she has an accent. An accent I just cant understand (none of which is her fault).

It's hard enough paying attention to the zoom lectures, but now I dont even know what the teacher is saying? How am I supposed to deal with that. I tell my mom and shes completely unremorsful - saying I should just turn up the volume (I have sensitive ears and would like to actually be able to hear when I'm her age so hard pass - it also genuinely just does not work for me, I did try it) or I should just drop the class. But then I start wondering what if this spanish film is the one class for its UCORE requirement I can actually pass? What if the other options are harder and I make things worse by dropping it? What if - what if - what if -

And I feel myself start to spiral. But I dont - I cant have another anxiety attack over online school. This is only the beginning of the term, I barely made it though the last 4 weeks of last years term. Pull yourself together and just email her

I finally gather enough courage to press send on the email I typed up asking her to see if she can figure out how to add CC to help me pay attention and focus (and also just genuinely know what the fuck she is talking about cause I was so lost today). A few hours after I send that email, she posts the next film and assignment along with graphic scene warnings for the film. I cant even read the warning sentence without almost getting triggered.

At first I thought telling her about it would be out of the question, considering she still hadent responded to my previous email - that would be asking for help twice in one day on 2 different subjects. But as I keep thinking about it, weighing my options, I cant stand it anymore. The warning sentence alone was too triggering - and if I watched the scene I would surely get worse and worse symptoms of my irrational fear. I cant watch that scene. So I email her again telling her as much, asking for an alternate film to watch (as she stated she would do if students needed one) or if I should just try to skip past the scene and watch the rest of the film.

She emails back rather quickly, saying not to worry and I dont have to watch it. But she doesnt say anything about an alternative and still hasnt responded to my other email. I start to worry again. How bad of a student must I be to ask for help/special circumstances on 2 completely different areas of the class to put me on an equal playing field in less that 12 hours. Now I'm that student that's always asking for special things to help me. What if it turns out I'm lying about needing them and I'm just doing it to be lazy and get out of extensive work? How terrible of a student must I be then?

No. I remember in 8th grade my math teacher told us about 2 students he used to have that raised their hands and asked a lot of questions every day in class, and one day they came up to him and said 'we must be your worst students, huh' and he was all 'on the contrary, you are my best students'

They asked questions. They asked for help when they were confused, and they learned a lot more by asking than doing otherwise - I'm sure a few other students learned at least a bit from their questions too.

So no, I am not the worst student for asking for accommodations. I'm a responcible adult who genuinely wants to learn from that class and not fail or need to drop it. I want to be successful. And if that teacher wont help me, it's not worth taking her class.

So go forth, and ask your teachers questions with the youth of a 6 year old asking random off topic questions just for fun!

Tl;dr you arent the worst student ever for asking for help no matter what kind of help or how much you ask for - it just makes you a better student, and better than the teacher if they refuse to help you :)

[aerltarg]

Maybe this is a stupid question, buuuuut:

I just can't imagine a world that Rhaegar comes back from the Trident, wins the war and becomes king. No, I'm not a anti Rhaegar, matter of fact I like him very much, I'm just can imagine how would Lya, little Jon, this whole affair, would settle in the capital. The norm that fics (at least those I read) tend to follow is to make Rhaegar:

1. A douche, paranoid and destiny-obessed king.

2. Completely incompetent, aloof monarch, that deep down has a heart of gold, but can't really be understood.

I mean, isn't he supposed to be a scholar since he was a kid? What's are your thoughts about it?

oh, yeah, i can totally understand this! it's is the whole point in canon actually, "the wrong man came back from the trident". you would expect a hero win against his antagonist and have a happy ending w his lady love but it doesn't happen. instead the subversion happens to them with rhaegar being killed by robert who becomes obviously a shitty king and lyanna dying after him. they were never supposed to have happy ending, they were created as tragic and doomed and dead from the beginning for the whole plot to start, jon to have his parentage mystery and dany to take the passed baton as the last dragon, prophesied savoir and the heir who has to carry entire house on her back now.

as for the realistic rhaegar wins aus that's the difficult question. tbh we just don't know enough abt their situation, plans and wishes. you see, e.g. in agot we can be right in ned's head and see his motivations, what he was thinking abt, what he was planning, what he was hoping to do. but if his story was told the way rhaegar's was i bet he would have his own crowd of haters and ~intellectuals~ jumping out every two seconds w their "hot takes" how actually all hints abt what rlly happened (ned being a good man w his own sense of honour, justice and experiences affecting him and the deal w cersei's children) doesn't matter and he was an ambitious prick, planned to grasp the power by being joffrey's regent and make his daughter sansa queen. (you can actually insert there any bullshit and still don't reach the level of stupidity of such "hot takes" this fandom loves so much lmao). also he would be blamed to the hell and beyond for being too stupid and not foreseeing the future and actions of other ppl bc ofc after everything happened it's so easy to say what was so obvious to notice. also they would say that the deaths of his men and horrible fates of his kids are 100% his fault and even straight up say he killed them lmao. i can rant abt it for hours so yeah. this is a situation w too many unknown variables bc it depends too much on actions of too many characters we don't know enough abt. the only thing it's possible to tell for sure is the fact that there couldn't be any perfect solutions since things got too complicated at this point.

such fics as you've mentioned tho are just a part of this dumb fanon where rhaegar is "too prophecy obsessed"/"incapable of love"/shrodinger's rhaegar both smart and stupid at the same time/whatever/all of this combined lmfao. the man was notably intelligent from the early age as you've absolutely rightly mentioned, his guesses abt himself being tptwp have nothing to do w egocentrism as some parts of the fandom would want us all to believe unless he wouldn't be so reasonable abt it and later on, after so many years, wouldn't have changed his mind and thought his son could be tptwp.

and literally fuck all antis that think you shouldn't consider prophecies that hold real power in this fantasy world lol. you know, aegon the conqueror was said to be motivated (or at least partly) to unify westeros by the prophecy and still got the treatment of perfect/maximum close to perfect figure of a leader everyone should look up to from the narrative and grrm. prophecy obsessed much, huh? i don't even talk abt all these parallels between him and rhaegar grrm put there not for bitches to ignore them completely! and i will never get tired of reminding that dismissing prophecies is UNWISE for targaryens of all people. the house whose story is built on the dream of young daenys and her father aenar that listened to her despite common sense (or what local "anti magic"/"anti prophecies" clowns consider to be common sense). targs would be as dead as the rest of dragonlords if not for daenys the dreamer. who else in the world has as many reasons to take prophecies seriously as them?

yet antis out there act as if rhaegar is one dimensional weirdo whose every character trait is abt mf ~prophecy obsession~. like how can they miss one of the main points so badly?? the game of thrones distracts ppl from the real danger beyond the wall, yk, the one rhaegar was aware of and meant to deal with. there wouldn't be such a problem if he became king and had as many years of head start before ice zombies apocalypse as ignorant bobby b did. rhaegar had to die just for westeros to sink in shit and our main heroes to save everyone to make this story more epic LMAO

so yeah, too many ppl portray rhaegar as this one dimensional robotic creature without any knowledge of what feelings are idk even for what reason. it seems these ppl can't read for real bc rhaegar was not only intelligent af as well as dutiful ("it seems i must be a warrior" but "he loved his harp more than his lance") but also. ugh emotional?? my boy had constant emo sessions w brooding at ruins of summerhall, sleeping out there beneath the stars all alone and writing songs that made all women cry. does it sound as someone who "isn't capable of love" lol? folks act as if he was completely heartless from the day he was born (bc he didnt play w other kids ig??) but in reality their emotional range is less than the one of a spoon in comparison to rhaegar's lol. i'm not even gonna address the horrible attitude of demonizing him for his implied depression, vile clowns never listen to themselves when they talk abt targaryens and their "madness".

tldr; these fics are mostly lame af and suck at characterization if they're making rhaegar like that lol. anyway his character isn't abt being a good or a bad king, it's abt being a would-be-king for characters in books and readers in reality to sigh over his tragic aura and pretty aesthetic abt how it could've been. however, grrm clearly doesn't write rhaegar as evil or incapable as some parts of the fandom would want to try to persuade others. realistically speaking in the scenario where he wins there couldn't be any perfect decisions but it's a territory of speculations on thin air and lit nothing more since canon doesn't provide us with enough information to rlly theorize anything instead of building biased headcanons some ppl call "analysis".

but remember what barristan said about rhaegar while practically watching him all his life, from a literal baby to the man grown:

“I know little of Rhaegar. Only the tales Viserys told, and he was a little boy when our brother died. What was he truly like?”

The old man considered a moment. “Able. That above all. Determined, deliberate, dutiful, single-minded.” (ASOS, Daenerys I)

“Prince Rhaegar’s prowess was unquestioned, but he seldom entered the lists. He never loved the song of swords the way that Robert did, or Jaime Lannister. It was something he had to do, a task the world had set him. He did it well, for he did everything well. That was his nature. But he took no joy in it. Men said that he loved his harp much better than his lance.” (ASOS, Daenerys IV)

[willthecleric]

heey firstly i hope you're having a nice day :))

and secondly, i was thinking about that video of that fanmio with finn where he got asked if he shipped byler and (maybe you or someone has mentioned this before, and if so i'm sorry) i realised

the question was if he shipped byler and he went straight to saying "we'll have to see what the duffers write" like, that's not what they asked, right? like, they mentioned byler and his mind went straight to the "is it canon" topic, perhaps cause it's a bigger topic in s4, like maybe when they mentioned byler he was so focused on not slipping it was canon that he tried to leave that ambiguous when it wasn't really necessary cause that wasn't the question? like you know in Friends when they have to hide from ross's wife that rachel is with them and joey's first instinct is to say "idk who's here but it definitely isn't rachel" when he could've just not mentioned her and come out clean? that's the vibe im getting (chances are i'm overthinking)

like alright maybe he knew if he said he did ship it, then bylers would get maybe a little too hyped and relate it to it being canon, so he just said we'll have to see, but idk he could've been like "idk i haven't thought about it" or "it's nice, i've seen stuff on it before" y'know to keep it ambiguous, but instead he talked about it being or not being canon and never even mentioned how he felt about it, he mentioned people could ship whatever they wanted but never if he did or didn't, so nonetheless he sounds like he's trying to hide a piece of information somewhere

i know they probably have to be careful with their answers so nobody goes crazy over what they say, so maybe answering if he did or didn't ship it could cause a little chaos (not that mentioning whether it may or may not be canon wouldn't cause just as much), on the other hand, it's pretty much the viewer's responsibility to assume something over an actor's personal opinions? but i guess it is more of a sensitive topic if there's a possibility of it actually happening in the show (i know he didn't have much time to think about a perfect answer to the question since it was live (not with an audience but between the two) but that brings me back to how "canon" was the first thing that came to him)

i'm sorry it's 4am and i'm blabering a lot and craving for new byler evidence but i hope my point makes some sense, i could definitely be overthinking but it's just a thought :D

TLDR: when they asked finn if he shipped byler he went straight to talking about whether it's canon (aka not rlly what they asked), like canon is the first thing that crossed his mind

Hi, Anon! I did have a nice day. I hope you have one too. :)

I love discussing Finn and Noah in regards to Byler. I don't think you are overthinking this at all. There is definitely something to it. I do think Finn was taken off guard because no one generally asks him this question and he tried his best to to dodge it but did not really know the best way to do it. So he ended up talking about the Duffers writing what they write. But then realized that he shouldn't have really stated that, so he went to cover for it by saying that people can ship what they want. That was just my read of things and the way that he was acting within the video. I do think it being canon did cross his mind (like I think he probably does ship Byler - it just seems like the kind of pairing he would enjoy). And honestly, I think he is excited as well. I remember him saying before S3 came out that he is looking forward to where Mike is heading. And we can all guess as to what he was referring to there. I do feel for Finn because he is in a delicate position where he can't say much because on one hand there is Bylers and on the other hand there is Milevens. And of course he can get in trouble for saying too much.

And believe me, I get craving new Byler evidence. :D

[tides-and-moon]

ardyn anon: I JUST THINK, that the story would have been so much more cool if noctis went 'actually, fuck this prophecy that mandates that i have to die for no reason' and threw in with ardyn instead. like all the conditions of the prophecy are SO INCREDIBLY ARBITRARY there is NO REASON. All the astrals are such bastards too! especially bahamut. all the homies hate bahamut. shiva can stay but she's on thin fucking ice (ha).

OK tldr ur literally so correct but i just have so many words in my head forgive me for the essay -- it's like the entire time ur playing you see all this terrible stuff happen to the guys and it just keeps getting worse and worse and you just think "well it gets worse before it gets better right... it's gonna get better right ??" but then it just DOESNT FUCKING GET BETTER AND YOU'RE EATING COLD BEANS AROUND A CAMP FIRE BC THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS HOW TO COOK IS BLIND NOW (oh yeah iggy too i have so many Thoughts and Feelings for iggy he's also my baby) and when you finally find out why everything fucking sucks the astrholes r just like "oh uh yeah this is kinda just. What happens now. Die" LIKE ??????

there's a lot of different things i take issue with w ffxv both on a technical and emotional level (and just as many things i luv i must admit 😤 i rlly luv the game it's so fun) but the top one has definitely got to be the dumbass kind of opposite-of-deus-ex-machina thing they've got going on where the astrals essentially just. cause problems because they can ???? it's so stupid oh My God

and i esp have such a gripe with the story bc square enix has before made so many titles with amazing complex stories that--yeah, they can kinda hurt, but they're so satisfying to watch come to a close, like my bae x for example, if you haven't played it i could not recommend it more, it has like. the most perfect ending ever and honestly it's the standard for me it's what i compare every other ff to bc i grew up playing it and it's the first one i ever beat 😭 the ending instills a sense of hope and new beginnings and makes it feel like tidus's death was really worth it, whereas ffxv just has this. Weird feeling of hollow bitterness in the ending and i think, like you said, it comes from the fact that the prophecies weren't challenged to the point of them breaking. in ffx what was essentially the word of god was prodded at until it cracked and fell apart and tidus found a way to save the world and the girl he loves and it's this giant euphoric epiphany--its essentially a high you ride out until the end of the game where you know tidus isnt gonna make it, but you're more accepting of the fact bc he actually did something. you know? ffxv simply doesn't have that, and it's depressing as hell 😭

tho i don't necessarily think that means it's worth less as a story just bc it's kinda (really) depressing, it's still i think a very compelling story with characters i want to root for, i just wish there was just a little bit more, a few more twists or flips that rlly make you feel like you're saying fuck you to the prophecy, you know?

oh and shiva is literally an angel compared to bahamut but even then only bc she wasn't actively terrible 😭

and like--last thing i promise lol--i watched kings glaive before i played ffxv so i was Really Expecting all the shit that went down in kings glaive to be worth something in the actual game but ??? not rlly ???? it's like EVERY SINGLE PERSON in the story was just set up for failure oh my heart hurts

[sleevesareforlosers]

also! i know you’ve mentioned quite a few times before in posts/fics about how party and kobra really only met right before they left the city? and i’m not entirely sure if i’ve just missed it but i would LOVE for elaboration specifically on that. i just!! am super interested to know about them and their lives in the city...and how everything shakes out regarding that 👀

!!!! okay thats def one of the more obscure bits of my canon? bc in universe party and kobra dont rlly like talking about it and on a meta level city life isnt rlly something i wanna devote too much energy to writing but i HAVE thought abt it!

i covered it a little bit in this fic but some details have shifted a bit just irt kobras job/timeline bc its over (i think?) a year old and its short so. not super elaborate

so when i say that they hadnt really met before leaving the city its like. they knew each other and lived with each other but they weren't really themselves. party bc of like. reeducation and kobra bc he was really fucked up with a combination of dysphoria and city drugs both prescribed and not (which i *think* ive mentioned arent a given in the city? most people dont get medicated the same way kobra did and not all the city meds are bad)

i will say that they were pretty close before party got reeducated. as close as u can be when ur thirteen and eight at least. but ofc he got taken and came back Completely different and kobra was a smart kid and kinda realized that directly confronting him abt the change would end really badly for both of them. party was rlly susceptible to the reeducation and its not their fault in any way but they definitely would have reported kobra if he'd tried to make a move.

so then once kobra snapped and cut his hair and party snapped out of the reeducation (combination of time since getting bleached and like. still being a caring and loving person under it all and knowing that he should care abt kobra) they escaped obviously and had to do a little crash course in 'how to be siblings' bc until then they were more just. people that lived in the same house and had nothing in common to talk about so they jsut didnt. i hope that makes sense? they knew each other but they didnt Really Know each other

as for what life in the city looked like for them!

i feel like its kinda important to know that their parents were low-level workers so they grew up in the slums on the edge of the city. not the worst part of the city (the lobby) but not downtown or even a suburban area.

party (post reeducation) became a total model student and ended up in a mid/high-level admin position in hq as soon as he graduated, set to get a promotion when he turned 20 and was in the process of trying to move out to a place of his own actually. kept getting their applications rejected bc they didnt have an "approved reason" to not live w their parents (no long-term partner and not a high enough level to qualify for one of the downtown studios). wasn't necessarily getting frustrated with the company but was getting frustrated with not being able to "start his own life" in his own apartment yknow? also a bit of a superiority complex/classism thing bc of having a higher-level job than their parents, wanting to live in a nicer part of the city like the rest of their colleagues. he had a Few friends, mostly from work, but it was nothing like the crew and friends hed had pre-reeducation bc. you know. obviously. it was just a little group of polite, well trained late-teens bli drones who got up to just the right amounts of bli-approved trouble (android girls and mood synthesizers but only on saturdays type deal). um. probably the least bli-approved thing they did was give spare carbons to broken-down droids in street corners and pretend to listen to the ones preaching the graffiti bible. This is all actually a huge reason Why party is so wanted by bli, like apart from the obvious of being a killjoy and fucking up a lot of shit for the company, he was also So close to being a perfect citizen that rebelling and escaping is a real lemon-juice-in-the-papercut for bli

kobra, on the other hand, was about one and a half Minor infractions away from getting reeducated himself. bli mostly saves reeducation and bleaching for people with confirmed rebellious biases or actions, people they dont think would be trusted enough to take their pills basically. theyd get fed up after enough violations though. kobra was on watch as a nuisance, but not a rebel, so he got away with attempts at medication and therapy that were... kinda effective? but he was Really pushing it especially once he got his job in the lobby and started running with lobby kids. really just imagine an absolute menace shithead of a fourteen year old breaking every law he could get his well-manicured but grubby little hands on. i think at some point ive mentioned that half the reason kobra was so good with tech and wiring was bc he picked it up from fucking with scarecrow cars and reprogramming shit about them? yeah. im not gonna say kobra's friends were like. a bad crowd. they were just chafing against city culture in a very specific way. lots of sex, violence, vandalism, underage mood synthesizer use (and by underage i mean even below the technically-underage-but-bli-looks-the-other-way-bc-they-know-people-need-to-feel-rebellious-sometimes age that like. party and his friends started trying them at). this is when he learned how to knife fight too which definitely saved both his and party's life the first night in the zones. on top of this all is the whole trans thing which isnt something thats necessarily frowned upon in the city, but when kobra finally realized what was up he went about it in a non-city-approved way (hacking his hair off with a set of nail clippers rather than like. submitting a transition application) and that absolutely would have been the last straw for him for the city if party had reported him rather than stuffed him in their car and left.

i dont know how to tldr this one but like. they both led really different lives in the city, kobra being rebellious and breaking laws but not in a killjoy way and party being So close to being a perfect citizen as a result of getting reeducated when he was thirteen, so they weren't honest with each other until party's bleaching broke and they left the city and THATS why i say they hadnt really met until they escaped.

[joculatrixster]

“aloe isn’t masculine” yeah tell that to the ppl who threw a pissy fit over her pronouns when they were first reveal. if you’re not tma then you need to stay in your lane about this and listen to trans women on what is and isnt trans-misogyny

i should rlly make a tldr because i talk way too much and this is too long tldr:

sorry if i was dissmive i was talking about anoher post so didnt want to delve into anons point because it was in relation to a post that litteraly said aloe shouldn't be drawn fem so i was more arguing against the idea aloe shouldn't be a women, ppl who use hcs to "soften the blow" r the ppl im against so i saw it more as the ppl who dont like fem aloe in general not likeing trans aloe because it makes aloe a girl and i didnt consider previously ppl would use THAT as a soften blow too thats gross if its why ppl did that, im gonna assume u skimmed my psot because u seemed to miss when i both argued aloe beign masculine doesnt mean she couldnt be a women as in i acknowledged her masculine traits and the multiple times i told the anon that i agree with their point and i thanked them for bringing it to my attention, my issue is litteraly with the ppl who use hcs or ignore canon that aloe uses she/her as the op with their tag saying aloe should not be drawn feminine aligned so i was talking more about that, anon had a point and i agreeed with that point, my point is im tierd of the ppl that assumed aloe was a man/masc nb when yes anon she wasnt gendered that was fanon not canon and ppl assumed things then got upset their assumptions werent right wich was fucked of them and i think its dumb ppl cant jsut accept aloe is a girl or at least uses she/her, if u dont like the hc for the reason that ur reading it with the undertones the anon pointed out thats fair! ur allowed to feel that way and if thats a reason most ppl have the hc thats indeed weird as fuck, i talked about mainly how i veiwed it and im not the person who can speak for everyone so yeah like i said in my original post take my opinion with a grain of salt since for all i know most ppl r being gross about it like the ppl who threw the fit in the first place

so yeah fair point, i think the fact ppl mainly assumed aloe was a male/madc algned was an issue in the first place and the fact ppl r all trying to scramble to hold onto that wrong assumption is fucked and ppl should acknowledge seeing aloe and by extension alot of nb characters as masc aligned or strictly androg is wack and the fact ppl with the trans hc may not acknowledge the fact aloe was seen as a guy and ask the "why" for that mass assumption instead jsut making hcs to cope or whatever is an issue and one i do understand ur point on, i agree with u anon and i agreed with the other anon if that got lost in the sauce then i get that since my other psot wasnt about the anons point but dont get me wrong ppl who use hcs to hide away from canon with aloe r wack and we as a fandom should think about WHY aloe was seen as a guy because she wasn't ment to be and never was canonly aligned with guys wich is what i ment when saying aloe wasnt masc in canon i was specifically calling out the fanon concepts with that

i hope this is more clear since im less tired and tried to summarize my points better, if i came off as not listening to u then fair ig but i was and i did agree with the anon so yeah if u wanna talk more about it we can im down for hearing more about the issue

(((also about the ene masse thing i cant rlly talk about that because hcs do spread fast with new cookies that ppl looked forward too plus aloes costume had demigirl and bigender flag colors im pretty sure but also i cant assume the motives of everyone and the aloe is a lesbain hc is something ive seen more i didnt know how wide spread trans aloe was so yeah idk how to address that one point someoen brought up in replies since i can see the point but also its hard to tell for me cause i havent seen specifically trans binary aloe alot jsut fem nb aloe so im not gonna rlly touch it im just gonna agree it can be read that way and its a topic that should be discussed in a better post thx i jsut dont wanna reply to that person since its on the ops post i think and i dont want to be in a reply chain there since i made my point and id rather talk on my own pist tuen blow up ops inbox if an argument happens idk)))

this is gonna end up being repetitive again isnt it? f word, hope my point wasnt lost i jsut suck at articulating what i ment so if im coming off as dissmive again im trying not to be litteraly what im saying is my post was in relation to another post and that made the reply seem like i was arguing against anon when i was rlly saying anons point was good i jsut didnt think the op had the same veiws an if they did they didnt articulate it well, the anon ill admit is the forst time ive seen someoen bring that issue up mabey i missed it since other posts might not have explained it like anon did so i didn't pick up on it but yeah anon was right in sayign that if that was the case for most thats fucked, the only reason i made the psot was like i said my trans friend dmed me about it so i tried to point out to op how their post might be read i didnt jsut decide to reply to the post to talk over transwomen i replied because a trans woemn friend of mine saw the post and thought op was saying aloe should be a guy and shouldn't be portrayedas trans and fem, i said trans women can agree with the post thats fine and it is fine if trans women dont like trans aloe for the reasons anon stated if it reads that way to most trans ppl then thats fucked up and im sorry the fandom is being weird about aloe

[frigidvm]

✧･ﾟ(   khione + kaylee bryant + cisfemale   ) 𝒎𝒂𝒎𝒎𝒂 𝒎𝒊𝒂 !!  have you seen (   eleanora “ella” duponte  ) around ? (  she  ) has been in kaos for (   six months   ). the (   twenty two year old   ) is a/an (   unemployed   ) from (   ontario, canada   ). people say they can be (   fierce   ) but maybe that’s not too bad ‘cause they can also be (   cunning   ). whenever i think of them, i can’t help but think of (   the numbness in your fingertips when touching ice, frost patterns along a rose petal, & the warmth of hot chocolate on a winter morning   ).

I ALSO MADE A PINTEREST HERE IT ISSSSSS click here

hi usually i have a pretty intro graphic but ya girl is feeling ultra lazy today and photoshop is being a big bitch and so i just ... decided to use a little gif that truly encompasses ella as a person EIRUFLKND

BUT ANYWAYS hey it’s me again, lou, i also play julietta and i am soooo excited to be introducing this baby to you all !! i’m gonna be frank, she’s not the easiest to get along with ?? i kinda based her a little bit off of how khione was in the pjo books but Less Evil and Less Messy if that makes sense ?? she’s just really blunt and kinda sorta rude and very much the queen of RBF. below is a bio i wrote in second person -- it’s pretty long so u dont have to read it if u dont want to i promise it wont hurt my feelings ill be happy to give u a tldr if u want me to. 

i hope u enjoy my baby ,, pls dont be afraid to plot with her i promise she may seem like a meanie but she rlly does have the Capability to be nice ,,, she’s just forgotten how ,,

on december 25th, in the year 1997, you made your way into the world in the midst of the coldest night ontario had faced in months. your parents, evelyn and nathaniel duponte, had prayed and prayed for a baby girl for years. years and years and years of trying and trying and trying until eventually, they had given up. and it was only when they’d given up that you came to be.

as a child, you were nothing short of the brightest light in the house. your smile was enough to brighten even the darkest of hearts, your laughter sweeter than even the daintiest christmas bells. you were a dream child – that is, until they stole your light. and how did the do that, you ask ? well, this is truly where our story begins …

no one is entirely sure when the passion blossomed, but some rumor it to have started on your fourth birthday. your mother and father thought that a fun trip to an ice skating rink would make for a good present, and much to their surprise, you were a natural. it was as if you were born specifically for the ice. one step into the rink and off you went, able to hold yourself upright and balanced even at such a young age. a prodigy, they said. absolutely incredible, they praised. you left that evening with a new pair of skates and weekly lessons scheduled into your routine.

after two months of lessons, they went from weekly to three times a week. and then every day. before you really knew what was happening, you were spending every second of your life at the ice rink, honing in your skills. this talent that you possessed was going to get you far in life, your coach had said. what he didn’t seem to realize was the monster that it would awaken within your mother. it was gradual, at first. a slow trickle. one day she was more proud of you than any parent ever could, and then a week later she was subtly criticizing your technique. and then she was restricting you from going out with friends, saying that practice was far more important. and then she was pointing out every single flaw that you had, and harshly at that. pretty soon, the joy in your eyes winked out, the warmth in your chest icing over entirely. if a machine was what she wanted for a daughter, a machine was what she would get.

competitions came and went, gold medals were secured, and you were on a fast track to competing in the olympics. your once bright and bubbly personality had since faded into one of cold and cunning, of ice and harsh. you only ever smiled when you won. your mother was no longer the nurturing woman you remembered. your father allowed her to treat you like her own personal doll. you began to fold within yourself until you were nothing but a frozen front, a heart iced completely with no chance of thaw.

your first olympics were terrifying. but you persevered, and came home with the gold for your division. a landslide win, they’d called it. rookie sensation, they deemed you. the praise went right to your head, and the arrogance bloomed in your chest. you knew just how good you were, and didn’t let anyone tell you differently. four years later, you competed again, and yet another gold. a two time olympic champion, a national ranking – what more could you need ?

and then you saw the zillow ad for a nice house on a small island called kaos. for the first time in forever, something besides ice caught your attention. it was an impulse decision, and a quick move. she waited until both of her parents were out of the house to have all of her things collected, and just like that, she was gone. vanished. no word as to where she was going other than a note that read ‘see you whenever.’ it’s been six months since then, and she has no plans on leaving kaos anytime soon.

iii. details.

she is not very nice ,,,

she also comes from a fuckload of money. very high society.

is a world ranked figure skater

has won two olympic gold medals

her favorite color is champagne ( shes so boujee i hate her )

always has very manicured nails

honestly the best way i can describe her is like

blair waldorf except not whiny ??? very much a “i’m important and idc what you say about it” vibe

definitely lives in designer clothing

used to be very artistic and was actually fantastic at painting and drawing and sculpting but then her mom was like “its a distraction no more for u”

she really …. doesn’t know how to have fun anymore ??

MAAAAAJOR slytherin vibes. like major. very ambitious and cunning and will do anything to get to where she wants to be

like she doesn’t care who she has to go through

and she also doesn’t care who’s feelings she hurts

has a maine coon named fluffernutter ,,, because he is white and brown and reminded her of the sandwich. however she commonly refers to him as fluff and refuses 2 tell anyone his actual name

wears only one piece of jewelry and it is a silver necklace with a locked heart pendant ( this is absolutely symbolism thnx )

does not have a job because she does not need a job

really likes the luxurious lifestyle

definitely owns a rolex

really just … doesn’t care abt anything

someone thaw her out pls & thank u

iii. wanted plots !!! im also super duper open to brainstorming things of our own ! these are just ideas !!!

1. the former best friend - this is someone that she spent a good majority of her time with before her mother limited interactions with people. they did everything together, whether it be watching a movie or trying to see how long they can get away with hiding in a grocery store after they close. it’s been nearly four years since they’ve spoken, and this might be one of the only people to bring a genuine reaction out of her.

2. the almost, the maybe, the “there’s something there” - they met recently. or maybe they met awhile ago. could work either way. this person was almost successful in attempting to worm their way into her heart. almost, however, is the key word in that statement. having gone so long without genuine human interaction outside of her sport, she hadn’t realized just how much she had longed for a friend. and then, she suddenly liked them as more then a friend, and that was when ella cut off everything. she’ll never admit it, but the idea of building a connection with someone terrified her.

3. the rival - oh, these two do not like each other. the why is something that can be discussed, but just know that there was some sort of altercation that led to the level of dislike between the two of them. could it possibly change ?? maybe so. i’d actually like to see how that pans out. however, as of right now, the most they do is snipe at one another mercilessly

[teruthecreator]

💘 for macknerva!!

anon, you are a genius. you’ve basically just sent the magical question that has now unlocked for the world: macknerva origin story (bc honestly i realized i just start posting abt it without rlly explaining it??? and someone people are loving it??? so thank yall for being my ultimate favs but u deserve this origin) 

also this is several days late (thank u Depression) and also super long (thank u Dumb Brain) so i hope you can forgive me for both of these things   

💘: who developed a crush on the other first? 

it’s time we take it back....Back To The Start.  

so since this is my magical world of My Own Personal Canon (since i stole griffin mcelroys rights), minerva ends up in Kepler in a completely unnamed and not talked abt manner (bc im too tired to explain my general alternate theory hgkgldlgbfhke but busically she just got on a ship to earth to avoid dying) and is staying with duck until further notice. she doesn’t mind laying low at duck’s apartment until they’re able to figure out Everything and get her set up w a place of her own (spoiler alert: that never happens, but duck won’t admit he just misses having a roommate so they let it slide). 

after about a month (which feels like eons in minerva’s mind), she starts to get antsy. she’s already been introduced to the pine guard and amnesty lodge, by this point, so she’s constantly trying to hang out with someone so she isn’t stuck in duck’s apartment all hours of the day. 

which is how minerva ends up in the cryptonomica the day kirby has to run into his job at the theatre for a good portion of the day. it’s pretty empty in the shop--i mean museum, so it’s not like ned minds (plus him and mack have already struck up an agreement, which i explained in a previous post abt ned and macks friendship) especially when minerva’s around to willingly pick up the slack. 

but this second job has minerva curious: 

minerva: I assumed your assistant, Kirby, had only the singular position at your museum?  ned, from behind the counter: Oh, for a while he did, but then the theatre opened up and his services were needed elsewhere. And who am I, Ned “Theatrical” Chicane, to deny such a marvelous establishment of the skills and technical prowess Kirby possesses?”  minerva: Oh? A theatre, you say? 

here comes some random personal hc: on her homeworld, minerva was involved in her planet’s form of theatre (which i’ve always pictured to be very greek-esque, thus explaining her naturally booming voice) and absolutely adored it as a hobby. she, obviously, understands there will be a difference between Earthen theatre and the theatre she once performed; but there is no denying that that thought barely crossed her mind as she proceeded to pester ned about the theatre until he suggested she get a part-time job there. 

(ned knows mack’s struggles with keeping hires at the theatre, which is why he is quick to suggest minerva get a job there. that, and ned knows enough abt mack at this point to pretty accurately guess her Type. so let’s just say ned was doing this for both macks gain, but also for his gain to be able to harass her abt her hot new employee that he totally inflicted on her on purpose) 

ned probably brings it up later that night, or the next day. just really casually drops that he has someone interested in a position at the theatre:

mack: Holy fuck--yes, Ned! Tell them they’re hired!!! What can they do?   ned: Hmmmmm, well she’s quite fit, and has no qualms with getting her hands dirty.  mack: Oh, perfect! I need some more set builders! Thanks a whole lot, Ned. I knew you’d always have my back.  ned, knowing full well what he’s just wrought: Oh, of course, dear Mackerel. Anything for a friend! 

cue the next day: mack is just going about the theatre, business as usual, staying sort of close to the house doors so she can be Right There when ned comes in with the new hire. she’s faced away from the doors, checking something on her phone (probably her texts with ned, to see if he’s arrived yet) when she hears the doors open and shut. mack turns around to witness the Hottest Woman She Has Ever Seen In Her Goddamn Life. 

she’s tall--holy shit is she tall--with beautiful dark skin painted with these almost glowing blue tattoos that travel all the way across powerful arms and a prominent collarbone. but the tattoos don’t stop there, of course they don’t. they go all the way up to this woman’s bald head, perfectly framing her beautiful face. high cheekbones, strong chin, a wonderful nose (mack doesn’t have much of a preference for noses but this one is perfect she just knows it), masterfully-carved eyebrows that look like they were chiseled out of stone, and those enchanting, bright, beautiful bright blue eyes.  

mack’s brain basically short-circuits once minerva smiles at her (with those pearly white teeth and a grin so inviting it feels like her whole heart is melting), so she’s barely able to process the smug ned beside minerva. 

@goforduck drew this scene for me a while back and imma show it to u all bc i love him, his art, and the hot takes he gives my special lil ship: 

needless to say, mack Is Attracted, but i wouldn’t necessarily consider it a crush. meanwhile, minerva’s pov, she’s so damn excited for this job that she’s practically vibrating on the way in. and then, like romantic poetic would have it, all of that energy halts as time stands still and minerva locks eyes with....mack.  

mack definitely looks a little disheveled, but it’s like every fly-away hair crowns her head like a halo as those gemstones-for-eyes lock w minerva. she’s never seen someone she has felt so immediately attracted to in her life. but, that being said, she still does not Have A Crush. 

so after all the awkward blustering (AKA mack tripping over every eighth word as minerva turns on the Charm to keep that blush on mack’s freckled face) mack starts to get minerva accustomed to the work environment and the tasks she’d need to do. eventually, she hands minnie off to kirby bc shes got work to do, and the rest of the day goes by uneventfully. 

now minerva works at the theatre, and she’s Delighted w it. the job is easy but entertaining, she’s making friends, her knowledge of the world is expanding, and she now has a target for some very playful flirting and obvious showing-off of her muscles. because, listen....she has Eyes. she Knows mack always blusters whenever she’s around. and she knows herself, too. mack is cute and minerva likes making her blush. but there hasn’t been that moment where things are taken seriously.  

until about a month in, when minerva walks into something she maybe shouldn’t have but also definitely should have. 

you see, mack has a very important ritual in the morning. she arrives at the theatre at the absolute ass crack of dawn so she can get her yoga/stretching/vocal warmups in (since she is still a performer at heart and this has been her routine since college) and then sit by herself on the stage just sorta soaking it all in before kirby comes in with her coffee (which she needs in order to get up from her seated position on the stage bc she is that much of a coffee addict). just about every employee on staff knows not to even bother coming in this early bc 1. this ritual is very Private and Sacred to mack and 2. ur not even gonna be able to speak to her unless ur kirby w her coffee. 

“just about” encompasses every employee except for minerva, who decides to show up before kirby to bring mack her coffee (that she memorized after cornering kirby for the specifics one day) 

so she comes in the back entrance and is sort of at a loss as to where mack may be bc she doesn’t know mack’s routine. and she’s just kinda wandering aimlessly through all the shops and little rooms until she reaches the wings, where she hears the gentle strumming of a guitar. 

she approaches, with all the caution of a woman who has spent years mastering the art of stealth along w her combat studies, and comes upon the following scene: 

mack is seated in the exact center of the stage, eyes shut peacefully as her body sways to the tempo of the song she’s strumming on the guitar she’s playing (which minerva recognizes as the guitar that some idiot pit member left here about two weeks ago). she’s singing (the song is Dream A Little Dream of Me), and her voice is so soft yet so resonate that minerva feels as if she could stand right next to her or be 1000 feet away and hear the exact same thing. and she sounds so good, so completely in the song she’s performing and in her contentedness that it eases some subconscious unease minerva was holding. in the time minerva’s known mack, it’s the most natural she’s ever heard or seen her, just playing for an invisible audience in the dim lights of a theatre not yet awakened. 

minerva doesn’t realize she’s drifting closer to mack until she steps on an uneven plank, and the noise snaps mack out of her little world as she turns to the noise. needless to say, she’s a little surprised that minerva’s here this early, but then minerva wordlessly hands her her coffee and so mack could care less. she accepts the drink w a smile and then decides to go to her office to get started on some business emails. 

it isn’t until mack has already left the stage, and minerva is still stuck in the same position she was when she handed mack her coffee--heart racing a million miles a minute, face hot, and stomach feeling as if an entire colony of butterflies suddenly took refuge there--that minerva realizes that she is Endlessly, Hopelessly Fucked In Love. 

So yeah, TLDR; Minerva was first. 

[fmdjoosungarchive]

date: august 23rd

word count: 577

warnings: homophobia, micro-aggressions rlly, and implied gay conversion therapy

tldr; sung calls his mom, they catch up, talk about rendezvous, and she shows her ass in still wanting to make sung straight

“i have, um, there’s a song, i’ve been working on. the company wanted me to release something, so it’ll be coming out soon.” joosung nervously rubbed the edge of his shirt between his fingers.

his mother’s gasp sprung tinnily through the phone line. “that’s so good, darling. i knew they would see the potential i see in you.”

a hint of a smile turned up his cheeks. he missed his mother. his whole family, really, but there was something about too much time away from his mom that hit a deeper part of him. he’d been busy enough that he wasn’t able to visit back home, and even their calls were cut down. it’d been two weeks since they were able to talk for more than a minute.

he may not have been particularly excited when gold star told him he’d be coming out with his own solo song, but hearing his mother’s approval, even without having heard the song, felt good. she was the first to support him in joining the company, and had always been his biggest fan in the family, excluding taehwan.

sung had whispered a thank you, happy to sit in his own silence for a few moments, but his mother spoke up again soon after, “is it one of your songs? one of the ones you wrote?”

“um, no. i wrote the lyrics for it, but the rest came from somebody else. well, i’d taken the lyrics from something else i wrote.”

“that’s a shame. i like what you’ve made before. i like that hello one a lot.”

sung giggled at the inclusion of the simplest english word they knew. their household definitely wasn’t bilingual. “yeah, hello tutorial, i like it too. this one’s a love song too, but a little different.”

“is it? which girl is it about? do i know her?”

the hum of a silent phone line took a seat between them. he wasn’t expecting the conversation to turn here. all sung wanted was to have a simple and nice conversation with his mother about what had been going on in their lives and-- god, he wanted to cry. he swallowed as well as he could around the quickly growing lump in his throat.

mama choi broke the silence with, “you still there, honey?”

“yeah,” he whispered into a breath. “it’s not about a girl, mom.”

this time, his mom initiated the silence, and sung let it sit, while his hand resumed its fiddling with his shirt. they hadn’t talked about this in a while. after the initial conversation, he tried to avoid it as much as possible. the instances it did get brought up, one or both of his parents were suggesting ‘seeing someone’ to ‘fix’ him, and he ended those conversations as quickly as possible. avoiding the issue until it went away was his overall plan, but it never worked for long.

she eventually spoke up again, with a sigh first, then, “i was hoping you’d have gotten over that by now, sweetie. if you need help, we can still give you the number of our priest. he’s very good with this sort of thing, honey.”

he really wished this conversation didn’t have to turn to this. “mom, can we not talk about this? could you just, um, tell me about your garden, or something?”

“of course, honey. but you know your father and i are always here if you need help getting over it.”

“yeah, right.”

[yeonjuins]

so I got the grade back and I’m disappointed ngl but at least I did a little bit better than the first one but it still wasn’t what I wanted but it’s okay SKSKDK it’s one of those classes where no matter how hard I try I get everything wrong and then when I think I got something down and I’m able to do it,, I get a grade back that shows I do not know what I am doing. LMAO

ooh good luck!! ♡︎ I’m sure you’ve been doing well!

YAY!! I’m glad it’s been going well for you hopefully it’ll get easier as you keep trying to fix your sleep schedule

3D render? Ooh that’s so cool,, Sounds like they’re gonna look so amazing !! Glad you were able to fix everything,, I hope so too I’m sure it will ♡︎

YES celebratory song <3

thank you,, ily ♡︎♡︎♡︎ I’m sorry if my ask seems dry I tried so hard not seem sad but I guess I failed AKSKSKSK but at least I tried 😤 I’m cheering up

hello my sweet angel i hope you are feeling much better now ;; i'm so sorry for responding to this so late truly it's been such a busy week + even busier upcoming weeks.... ++ dpr is coming to toronto and i think i'm going to secretly go see him without my parents knowing (hehe) so that's been on my plate OTHER THAN MY MASSIVE FUCKED UP SLEEP SCHEDULE but we've been knew unfortunately...

i'm so sorry my love ): truly classes like that stress me out so much because i have such an irrational fear of disappointing myself to the point where it refrains me from even trying to begin with <- a little deep there woo woah calm down PAHAHAH... pls know that you're efforts are worth it... you're building resilience my love even if you aren't getting the direct results that you wished to have gotten ;;

the check-in interview went well ! my employer actually has been pretty satisfied with all the work i've done over the past couple weeks i've been working with him and it was just a nice reassurance he thinks i'm moving at an okay speed (": i'm so swamped with work right now... i have an assignment due this month along with cpr training i need to do for my program i'm apart of but !! soon enough, once friday hits i will have 6 days off from school (:<

the project overall is doing fine (": i fucking hate my teacher LOL whatever i tell her is an issue going on, she treats it base level until she realizes that i'm right and she has to then go back and correct it when she could've just listened to me to begin with BUT WHAT !! EVER !! her grading rubric makes zero sense too and she is unqualified to be teaching the subject but those are just my two angry cents i will chime in about the class <3 tldr; i feel like this project, although is very high quality and should deserve a high mark, will not get a high mark due to her lack of fucking knowledge on how to even create these sort of things <3

how's life been for you my love ;0 rlly hoping you feel better now that some time has passed ):

[uygmoeb]

Ah thank you! I like think I'm good with English but the struggle of being bilingual and your brain just likes to give you a blue screen error and you sit there wondering what the word is in either language lol (I have respect for people that know like 4!) But yeppers, welcome to my family where we do things slightly last minute and then there is chaos in the kitchen xD 10/10 fun times

Right!? Like I remember he was like this small lil bean that was like a puppy, wouldn't hurt a fly and then suddenly he just had a pokemon evolution moment going from charmander to charzard in like God knows when lolol of course im not saying thats a bad thing, I just find the character development so funny, like it happened right under our noses and honestly good for him! Love his chaotic, talented self. Same, same. I do like to be slightly up to date with my favs but I only have recently been more deeper into the moa fandom if you will? So I am aware of some stuff like I know kai participated in some song making for their recent album and it makes me feel happy seeing them take on producing or writing because hey, that shiz isn't easy! Even they didn't, doesn't mean txt aren't talented! (Like their dancing alone can knock me out to the moon like who debuts with songs like crown, blue orangeade AND cat and dog and make the dancing look smooth!? Kings only)

Tldr stan txt for a better life *sips tea*

But yes I did! I wanted to get a good start ahead because I am sadly a lazy potato and didn't want to have things last minute and not have your gift be nice :c so I worked on it Sunday all night with my intel and it is saved, ready to be posted. I won't say much other than that, you sadly must wait until Christmas. But...but *blushies* pleassee no omg I am a simple potato! Hdhahshs I am not worthy of such kind words, if anything i want to shower you with kind words because its been super fun talking with ya! Like it is my 3rd year joining stuff like this but I never chatted so much with someone and I am very happy because like I am talking with an awesome sauce person! I mean, this blog alone is fabulous (I just realized your name is beomgyu but backward hjshdjs genius omg) so I hope we can chit chat after this in the future auggie (I hope I spelled your name correctly? Please slap me with a fish if not jdjsjds)

i wish i still had it in me to learn a second language not gonna lie hskfhks i remember the basics of spanish from 3 years of classes but like.. i wish i could pick it up and learn more but idk it's harder for me now not to mention the very, very little and basic korean i taught myself LMAO so the fact u can speak two languages is awesome ! and it seems to me ur english is rlly rlly good, honestly would've assumed it was ur first language if u hadnt said anything bc of how good it is

a pokemon evolution but beomgyu version please hskfjsl u explained it so perfectly with just that BUT YEAH i still can't believe that that was their debut like wow.. the songs down to the choreo.. they rlly set the bar high for themselves and they've done nothing but surpass it each time and yeah i like to keep up to date if i can, and i've been doing a better job lately but i just love so many groups it can be difficult and then stuff starts to slip thru the cracks yknow? but i'm out here. trying my best regardless. it also doesnt help that i.. dont like to read things hslfsjjf so like,, if there’s a written post update and it's longer than like, 4 big paragraphs i probably wont read it and one day that will be the death of me bc i'll miss something really important or something

ok ok i'm like.. almost half way done with mine now after starting it hskfhks i'm pretty quick but somehow i didn't notice how close the deadlines were ??? i think it's just bc i've been doing so much but eh it's ok,, wouldnt be the first time i procrastinated smth important on accident skfhsk and its ok, i'm willing to wait !! i am super excited and looking forward to see what u made tho!!! but oooh ok so u've done this kind of gift making stuff before, and u must like it to keep doing it right? i think i'm just discovering my love to gift people things this year lol i might just keep making gifts throughout the year for everybody bc i just.. wanna give stuff to people it makes me happy i've noticed and lmao ur not the only one who took a min to realize it was beomgyu backwards, but i too thought it was kinda genius ngl

:(((( yes pls i would love to keep talking to u after and u rlly just proved my point by saying everything u did, like u genuinely may be one of the sweetest people i've ever talked to <3 and yeah dw u got my name right!! even if u spelled it wrong big deal it wont bother me, call me whatever and i'll accept it hskfhsk

[groundramon]

I don’t like south park because, at the risk of sounding heterophobic, I’m not interested in the cishet white male’s opinions of our society.

I guess put a (tm) by that white cishet male because, specifically, I think of the one episode of south park I did watch.  Was doing a little experiment where i checked out four of the most popular adult cartoons at the time (/still are, as of writing this) and those four cartoons were Rick and Morty, Family Guy, South Park, and Bojack Horseman.  All of these cartoons I went in knowing what to expect - the only one I expected to like was Bojack, and I didn’t expect to like the first episode.  The two that offended me the most were Rick&Morty and South Park.  Rick and Morty probably offended me because I was probably lowkey hoping I’d change my mind about it, even if I didn’t realize it, and also it’s harder to deal with being right about knowing you’d hate a popular show when everyone around you says its great.  But whatever, it was more of a personal thing.  South Park I went into fully expecting to hate, hoping I could understand where some of this fake-intellectualism came from but ultimately still expecting to be offended and annoyed.

How did it piss me off more than I expected?  How did it piss me off more than Family Guy?  By the way, I googled the ep I watched of South Park - it’s smack dab in the middle of fan-rated lists of South Park.  It’s not like I happened to randomly select one of the worst episodes, or went to the beginning of the series.  I picked a modern-ish episode at random, and it seemed based on my research that it was a fair sample of the show.  Family Guy’s episode I watched I didn’t look up, but the particular ep didn’t have any ableism jokes at Joe’s expense (besides the old age concept of people in wheelchairs being like “fuck stairs” but that’s just understandable, idk if thats ableism or not but its not rlly my decision so ill shut up now) so I was bored but also like.  Whatever.  I think they killed a guy?  I don’t know.  It wasn’t as offensive as it could be but knowing Family Guy’s worst episodes, I’m thankful I managed to pick an ep at random.  (Also I’m not here to defend Family Guy, so if it just so happens that the ep i watched was one of the best modern Family Guy episodes, well, I can’t complain with the conclusions you draw from that either.)

But South Park blew every expectation I had out of the water as far as horridness goes.  The animation isn’t any better in action, the voices are EXTREMELY grating (people praise the VA in this and critique the VA in chipmunks??  It’s the same thing dude), and guess what - it’s just as racist as I expected!

I had a conversation about someone who likes South Park/was trying to defend the episode on dA back when I first watched it - and it was a good conversation, don’t get me wrong!  They helped me make sense of what the episode was at least TRYING to do, which DID make sense.

But the “message” of the episode was, basically, that pursuing dreams is pretty worthless because shitty people always end up in power through unfair circumstances.

And there’s about 15 things wrong with that, but here’s a few I can come up with on the top of my head. - You have the emotional maturity and mental foresight of me when I was 14.  I’ve been actively trying to combat that mindset ever since I was able to recognize my depression because I know it’s bad for me (as an ambitions-driven person).  I don’t need people telling me that the work industry - particularly, the work industry that I want to get into - is unfair as fuck. - Can you imagine the galls of the writers who fucking thought this was a good idea?  Have you no goddamn self-insight?  Like...you realize YOU ARE THIS, YOU ARE THIS PROBLEM, right???  You could become part of the solution!!  You’re an influential show!!!  But nah let’s be racist instead - Did I mention the entire show is about being racist - Did I mention that the show has to have goddamn pedophilia to make this point.  Not tasteful pedophilia or anything!  But definitely pedophilia!  And everyone is just like :] thats just how it is - Okay so specifically, this show singles out a single “fake” hollywood type (and definitely, definitely isn’t intentional that she’s hispanic) and just mocks her for the entire episode.  I don’t give a fuck shit about jennifer lopez and she’s probably problematic but not for any reasons that the people behind South Park care about, that’s for damn sure. - ALSO HEY yknow how South Park creators hate liberals??  Because we fucking criticize them??  And they call us hateful and cruel because we critique them and insult them by name??  LMAO....GUESS WHAT BITCH!  YOU DO THAT FOR THE ENTIRE WORLD TO SEE ON YOUR DAMN SHITTY SHOW!  ILL MOCK YOU AS MUCH AS I DAMN WANT (and I DONT have to do it by implying your significant other is a pedophile, lmao)

God I need to get off my computer but ill add more on mobile if i get pissed off enough but this is just what i can think of off the top of my head

TLDR: South Park isn’t smart, it doesn’t have a right to call itself “challenging society”