#i respect your choice to despise him but please respect that i do not think the same

[aayakashii]

No idea why I suddenly thought of this. Literally the most random dumb thought ever but okay

You tell them a knock knock joke:

Jin:

Shuts you up immediately. Doesn't entertain it. Says something like "why the fuck are you wasting my time, servant" but then you whine a little, so he rolls his eyes and just accepts defeat. He will say your joke sucks though. You will only tell jokes to him when you want to annoy him from then on.

Tohma

Entertains it. Doesn't mean he will find it funny but the thought of embarrassing you by staring at you, deadpan, for way too long after you tell the joke kinda tickles his brain in the right spot. He might chuckle a little just to break the awkward atmosphere. You never try to tell him jokes after that.

Kaito

Will laugh so exaggeratedly just to appease you, but it will have the opposite effect. You will be kinda put off by his fake reaction, and he'll get desperate and ask for a do-over. You try again because he gets way too sad over that, but it doesn't work anyway.

Lucas

Entertains your antics but doesn't find the joke funny at all. He'll be like "I don't understand, what's the point of this question?". Why do you even try to tell him a joke come on that's on you

Alan

Entertains it. Doesn't really understand the joke, but will give the tiniest smile since you seem happy that he answered you. Big of heart, dumb of ass. Great choice for telling silly jokes.

Leo

You don't tell him any jokes. Please let's have a little self-respect now.

Sho

Entertains it. Will find it extremely unfunny but will be nice with it. He just rolls his eyes and says something like "wow sempai you're not funny at all lol" but it doesn't sting. You might tell him some jokes from time to time just to break the ice when you need it.

Haru

He will be the one telling you the joke actually. If you tell him one he doesn't know, he will find it genuinely so funny that you'll have to hold Peekaboo for a moment while he folds in laughter. Probably the best person you could ever choose to tell jokes to.

Towa

Giggles but like. In a condescending way. Like when we see a puppy doing something cute. He'll be like "haha you're so silly, Dandelion" while tucking your hair behind your ear. You can keep telling him jokes if you want I guess, he won't complain as long as you pay attention to him tbh.

Ren

Never entertains it but you tell them anyway to annoy him. Absolutely despises the amount of knock knock jokes you know, but kinda feels a bit flattered when you say you spend time online just to find silly things to tell him. He's living rent free on your mind, huh?

Taiga

Entertains it and actually laughs like HA HA HA HA HA super loud while saying you're actually kinda funny. He's still very intimidating when he asks you to tell another. Good thing: you only need to memorize three or four jokes. He'll forget them anyway.

Romeo

Why would you even try? He doesn't entertain it. If you keep pushing, however, he'll suddenly yell WHO'S THERE out of nowhere just to shut you up. Will kick you out of his room if you pull out another joke from your little clown hat. Not a very good choice if you wanna be funny.

Ritsu

Will ask if you have a warrant that allows you entry in his property in order to knock on his door. Absolutely ruins the fun with more law jargon. Awful choice but you kinda knew that already.

Subaru

Entertains it out of politeness. Also laughs out of politeness. He doesn't really find it THAT funny, but will chuckle so you don't feel bad. He doesn't mind it either, so you can keep telling him jokes, but the reaction is kinda underwhelming.

Haku

Chuckles after you tell him a joke then hits you with:

"Haku: knock knock

You: who's there?

Haku: Ben

You: Ben who?

Haku: Ben thinking about you all day."

If you can handle this type of comeback, then feel free to keep telling him your silly jokes.

Zenji

Absolutely ROARS with laughter and will deplete you of all your jokes. And will laugh at all of them like you just said the funniest thing ever. Alongside Haru, he's the best person to choose when you're in a silly goofy mood.

Ed

Entertains it. Will make it creepy somehow and will tell you some other jokes, but they will be so uncomfortable that you'll wish you never even thought about interacting with him. You can keep telling him jokes if you're a masochist though.

Rui

Entertains it. He will giggle and say you're a silly cutie but you don't know if he genuinely thinks you're funny or if he's just trying to flirt with you. You can keep on telling him jokes as long as you're okay with him calling you every petname in the book in exchange.

Lyca

Entertains it but doesn't understand. Why are you pretending to knock on a door, and why would you even think that's funny? He'll ask you to keep on telling him jokes so he can get used with this weird new human habit he gotta learn.

Yuri

Doesn't entertain it and hates it because he can never guess what's the punchline for your jokes. Will go on a rant about how he has no time to deal with your insanity but he's just upset he can't be as funny as you. Keep telling him jokes if you wanna torture him a bit.

Jiro

Entertains it but doesn't find it funny at all. You're not yelling nor skittish, so where's the fun. Will ask something like "can I go back to work or do you need to get more jokes out of your system?" so he's not really the best choice for telling jokes. But it's on you.

[yeyinde]

I am binge reading your work and I love your Price characterisation so much! Can you please go into detail what you his childhood looked like and what led him to be this angry, stubborn man who is fixated on saving the world at all costs

this is basically a reinterpretation of opening Pandora's box but instead of releasing great evils, it's just me yapping non-stop about John Price whenever i get the opportunity. but i cut a lot out because it was getting too long, so this is a brief summary on what made John Price the way that he is;

re: abuse (physical, mental, emotional; of authoritative power).

Nepo-baby. Born into Military Royalty. The Price name has a lot of sway in the government. Probably lived in Hereford going up before moving to Liverpool at 18. Realistically, Price has no other career choices because I can't see Mr "threatens to hang superior officers" sitting in a cubical and expected to hit quotas without catching several charges for assault and battery when his temper gets the best of him. And it always does.

His homelife was bad (but absolutely nothing compared to Simon's). His dad was just a staunch disciplinarian groomed by the traditional values of 40s-60s England. The typical "father works to provide for his family all day and then comes home to quiet, respectable children neither seen nor heard with food already on the table waiting for him and a wife that only speaks when spoken to and only ever to agree with her husband (and a lil bit of female "orgasm"????? by god! they've brought witchcraft back to the land of her Majesty the Queen!)"

He has an angry, uncompromising father with a temper and a mother who says thinks like, "well if *you* didn't make him angry, then you wouldn't have gotten yourself a black eye."

His dad was very physically abusive to both of them. Price really tried to stick up for his mum, but that would just set his dad off even more. And afterwards, his mum would just side with his dad, anyway. But on the flipside, I think she expected Price to protect her. So when he didn't (because he's a literal child!!), she'd get angry. But she obviously can't lash out like her husband or even her child, so uses the only weapon she has to gain some semblance of control: manipulation.

Price takes pieces of both his parents. His father, the physical aggressor, and his mother, the manipulative victim. And she is a victim, very much so. But I also think she pits them against each other. Gets bored. Causes issues. But there's power in getting someone to do what you want, and that's how she takes hers.

Price catches on to her in his early teens, but that's still his mother. Even though they have a very rocky relationship, she's still the Victim in his head, even when she's whispering in his dad's ear about all the things she despises about her son. And then going to Price (after his dad does something about it - again: disciplinarian, control freak) and playing the pitiful mother subjected to her husband's tyranny and a sad, weak son who can't do a single thing to protect her when she needs him.

Price learns to manipulate from her. Emotional blackmail. Victim-complex. Gaslighting. Scapegoating. But the biggest takeaway is the way he shifts the victim-complex into heroism (esp with Gaz). They can't be the bad guys. It's a logical fallacy in his mind. They're the ones saving the world, and if the world wasn't so riddled with bad guys, with people who need projecting, then they wouldn't need to do what they do.

I think Price has a bit of animosity towards people he sees as weaker (re: his mum having to share the victimhood with her son). But this animosity can also rear as obsession. He's the only person who can save you/them/the world. And since you/they/the world can't save yourself, then you should just listen to him.

And if you don't. Well, that's going to be a pretty big problem.

Honestly on the fence about siblings. If he has any, it's probably an older sister and she's either the equivalent of Janice Soprano (minus any of the backbone and ambition) or Barbara, resigned to her life and utterly forgetful. but I kinda like the idea of him not having any siblings to weather the storm with, you know? Like, it's just him and a mother who victim blames and ignores, and he gets the brunt of his dad's anger.

He was an obnoxious kid to be around. Probably really tried to impress his dad by adopting all of his values; baby misogyny, bite-sized authoritarianism, military fiscalism/military–industrial complex, militarism, etc., before realising (earlyyyyy teens) that he hates his dad and everything he stands for (but I'm a SUCKER for letting Price suffer and I love cyclicity and generational trauma so naturally, as much as he tries to run from the ghost of his dad, it still lingers - just in different ways; the worst thing you could ever say to Price is, you're just like your father).

Turned into a moody teen in the 80s/90s. His anger is a hair trigger. Utterly uncontrollable. But by this time, he learned to hide it because his dad's way of idealing with trauma was to add more. Therapists are pseudoscience, so he taught Price that men just bury these things. And if you can't, then you should be put down like a dog.

The assessment of a man's character was entirely based on the military tests he passed. And with Price's anger, trauma, he probably shouldn't have passed the evaluations, but since his dad, his grandfather, his great-grandfather, were all military dogs, he learned how to beat it. He's also really good at manipulating people.

I think between 16-17 there was a real attempt to do something that wasn't the military and I haven't decided which one I like better but:

He gets a job (as a port worker or in a factory). The Price name has no sway here (and baby Price grew up surrounded by people who knew his family, who revered them for their service to the country, etc). If he wants to make it, it has to be by his own merit. The problem is, while he's a hard worker, his trauma (men who remind him of his father, women who are too much like his mother) causes an incredible rift between him and authority.

If his boss is a man just like his dad, then Price is a match in a tinderbox.

If he isn't, to Price (who has only just learned to hold his tongue), the idea of a nobody being in a position of power over him will also set him off.

Either way, he's doomed.

If he man is a beast that no one can stand up to, and gets away with things because he's the boss, then Price's temper would flare pretty quickly. Especially if he comes after Price. Bullies him. Belittles him. But the worst is the humiliation. He ends up beating his boss very badly, terrifying the men around him but in their fear, and how quickly they listen to him because of it, Price realises he likes it. That fear can be weaponized. Honed.

Or: same situation, but if you lean more towards Price looking out for the underdog rather than his own self-interest, then he sticks up for someone and beats his boss to protect them. Everyone's still afraid of him, but they revere him. They do what he asks. This version, he realises that respect can be weaponized.

(and if the man is not like his dad, then Price will antagonise him into action. He'd throw the first punch, and Price will retaliate. It would still go too far, but - Nepo baby, weaponized fear: the outcome would be the same.)

He gets taken into custody. The tell him his boss is not going to make it. But Price's dad exercises every ounce of power to get his son out of trouble (because this will look very bad on them), and Price leans several things which shape him as an adult: his name has a lot of power; rules and regulations and just policing won't stop bad people unless you take it into your own hands once and for all, and people listen to him and that either version of the above can be weaponized.

He'd probably take the military a bit more seriously but only because he's trying to get vengeance for himself (even if this is subconscious and he doesn't realise it). He leaves at 18. Joins. And climbs the ranks higher than his dad.

At first, there's a concerted effort to do good but something cracks. Builds. Eventually Price comes to the conclusion that he'll have to take a more hands-on approach and get them a little bloody if he wants real change.

I have a lot of thoughts of military-dog Price. But!! That's basically it.

Shaped by physical, mental, emotional abuse; leans into the poor rich kid trope slightly. It all manifests more when he climbs the ranks, gets freedom, and realises that only he can do what needs to be done.

[cutecatlov3r]

𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨?

various x reader ! [bakugou, kirishima, denki, sero, shoto, izuku, shinso, and tamaki]

synopsis: my head cannons and my opinion on which songs they'd fuck you to .

warnings/tw: all characters are 21+, praise, degradation, and my personal head cannons on what they are like during sex .

a/n: don't copy my work ! like, re-blog, and comment ily ! not proofread .

jjk ver. aot ver. hq ver. ft ver. bllk ver.

Katsuki Bakugou

Finesse [Drake]

✰ I live for soft Bakugou. He is a dom but when it comes to you he is kind of soft yet still grumpy.

✰ Pulls your hair.

✰ I think that this song shows how he sort of feels without saying it. That's why he fucks you to this song.

✰ He loves you but will barely say it. His pride gets in the way.

✰ He will be slow and steady during this song, going fast at the end. He just wants to be gentle during this song because he loves you so much.

✰ He will kiss you passionately as he fucks you to this song.

✰ You love his gentle side, that's when he makes sure to shoot his warm cum deep inside you, wanting to see it seep out of you.

✰ He isn't loud or anything, he groans and grunts, too prideful to make any noise but his ego goes high when it comes to you moaning loud for him.

✰ "I... Uh, love you... I love you, so much y/n,"

"You stay on my mind, All the time"

-

Eijiro Kirishima

Work Out [J. Cole]

✰ Most respectful man on the planet, always asks for consent, EVERY SINGLE TIME !

✰ He is a soft dom. He can't stand hurting you or being rough with you.

✰ He has a pretty big cock, which is why he's so soft when it comes to fucking you, he doesn't want to hurt you.

✰ "Watch out baby... I'm just putting in the tip, don't worry,"

✰ He praises you any chance he gets, even over the littlest things.

✰ "You're amazing, just keep riding slow, you're doing such a good job!"

✰ He will leave hickeys, scared to leave bite marks.

✰ He loves old school songs, fucking you to this song makes his mind feel at ease.

✰ He loves you, he will tell you that whenever he feels like it (which is every 5 minutes)

✰ No man can do aftercare like this man ! He will cook for you, clean for you, carry you places, and even message you.

"Do you really want to love me forever?"

-

Denki Kaminari

Swimming Pools [Lloyd]

✰ He is a switch . END OF DISCUSSION . He loves being more submissive though.

✰ He likes this song and fucking you to it because it makes him feel like a bad ass. Kind of like he's special in the moment.

✰ Public places>

✰ He is such a huge flirt when it comes to you, he makes you feel actually wanted by him. He will directly be blunt with how he feels.

✰ "Baby I'm harddd, please touch me,"

✰ WHINES, MOANS, GROANS, WHIMPERS, GRUNTS, and GIGGLES .

✰ You don't mind his choice of music, you actually find it cute that he enjoys this song so much because it makes him feel like the main character.

✰ Pervert . He does not show any shame .

✰ "I can see your nipples through your shirt,"

✰ If he's fucking you, he's going fast and hard. Not really fully knowing how to please a woman.

✰ He's not shy when it comes to toys, he normally uses them on you when he can't make you cum. He never lets it get him down.

"Into my room, I hit her from behind. Doing again like I'm pressing rewind"

-

Hanta Sero

My X [Rae Sremmurd]

✰ Mean Dom Sero>>>

✰ I can just see him using you, not even in love with you. He's in love with your body.

✰ "Lay the hell down slut, I don't have all day"

✰ Not once has ever made you cum on purpose, he doesn't care for your pleasure.

✰ He likes fucking you to this song because it just shows that he's focusing on himself, never focusing on a good for nothing slut.

✰ Groans and grunts but that's it.

✰ He is so goddamn toxic, he may not love you but your body belongs to him.

✰ "Why the hell were you in Denki's room yesterday? Do you really need dick that bad? You're such a slut, pissing me the hell off,"

✰ He despises your cute face, all he wants to do is ruin you. There is no other goal.

✰ Leaves before you wake up, he does not cuddle you.

✰ "Whores don't deserve to be treated with respect," he spat out, venom seeping through his voice.

"A hoe just gon' be a hoe, And a slut just gon' be a slut"

-

Shoto Todoroki

Heavenly [Cigarettes After Sex]

✰ I can see Shoto being a soft dom during this song. Only during this song . Other than this song being sweet and sensual he will fucking fuck you until you can't walk with any other song .

✰ This song is his outlet when it comes to how he feels about you.

✰ He loves you so much, more than anyone.

✰ Degrades you, spanks you, chokes you, and slaps you when this song isn't on.

✰ When this song is playing he will be gentle with you, kissing you softly and running his fingers through your hair.

✰ "I love you. Kiss me more, please,"

✰ He is so soft and gentle with this song, making sure to satisfy you and himself.

✰ He will moan softly for you.

✰ Aw I can just imagine him having his face in the crook of your neck after fucking you nice and good.

"Touch me with a kiss, feel me on your lips"

-

Izuku Midoriya

Banana Pie [Lil Darkie]

✰ He will eat you out to this song.

✰ Addicted to watching your legs shake .

✰ He for sure over stimulates you, sometimes it's on accident but most on the time it's on purpose. He loves seeing you whine and cry.

✰ He loves you, like actually loves you.

✰ Look... He kind of wants to have a three some but he doesn't want to make you uncomfortable.

✰ Moans, groans, and pants heavily.

✰ He is sort of a sadist, hair pulling his one of his favorite things to do. His green eyes go blank, filled up with thoughts of just hurting you. (I'm sorry... I love mean Izuku).

✰ "One more peep out of you and I'll have to spank you, y/n. Cut it out,"

✰ This man is fast, hard, and knows where your sensitive spots are. Basically a fuck machine that can please the hell out of you.

✰ Sucking on your skin>

✰ He is an ass guy, he loves spanking you, there's just something about watching your skin turn red and bruise up. It turns him on.

"Banana pie, so sweet and soft. Never enough"

-

Hitoshi Shinso

Come Get Her [Rae Sremmurd]

✰ Can we all agree he'd tie you up and fuck you to this song?

✰ I'm sensing a rough, sadist dom. (daddy kink ?)

✰ Loves tying you up, you're his little rope bunny.

✰ "Stop squirming, the rope is going to burn your soft skin,"

✰ HICKEYS>

✰ I feel like he'd be into somno . (Me too though)

✰ He likes this song because it's like you're his little stripper that he gets to fuck.

✰ "You better be putting in some work, or else I won't let you cum,"

✰ Rough fucking is all Shinso does.

✰ His groans are... Just amazing . They literally are like angels singing.

✰ He gets super sleepy afterwards so you're forced to take care of yourself.

"How you movin', you deserve a couple racks"

-

Tamaki Amajiki

Girls Need Love [Summer Walker]

✰ Sub . No question . This man would never dom you .

✰ Vanilla sex. He would never get rough with you.

✰ During this song you're riding his face. You're pulling his hair, seated directly on him.

✰ He does do pretty damn good with his tongue...

✰ He whimpers, moans, and whines.

✰ He loves you. You're his total opposite, he admires your courage and leadership skills.

✰ "Y-your speech was good today..."

✰ He also loves getting dominated by you, he loves it. He likes when you're in control.

✰ ...He fanticizes about getting pegged here and there.

✰ Super shy! He never makes the first move.

✰ He always is making sure you're okay, he gets so worried. Like genuinley worried.

✰ His mannerisms are so cute !

✰ "Should I... Uh... P-put it in?"

"Give it to me like you need it, baby"

-

[sofoulandfairaday]

Please share all of your Sirius and Bellatrix thoughts ♥️

I have way too many, darling.

The TLDR is it is our choices that show us who we truly are, far more than our abilities. The long version is under the cut.

When reading about them I usually prefer stories where their original 8-9 year gap is preserved (it annoys me to no end when people write the Order and the Death Eaters as entirely made up of people in the same couple of years in Hogwarts —really? Was the conflict exclusively waged by child soldiers? Were Dumbledore and Voldemort just chilling before 1977, when they decided to start recruiting?). With that being said, I can also enjoy fics where - for shipping purposes - their ages are more compatible, to make them share time in Hogwarts or during the First Wizarding War.

I think they are very, very alike personality-wise. The narrative draws some delicious writing parallels between them, both physically and in their expressions, vices and virtues, and choices. Directly between them, might I add. The author underlines the difference between Bella and Narcissa more than once, we're meant to see it, and similarly we're meant to see the similarities between Bella & Sirius.

They are haughty, passionate, powerful, competent, arrogant, bright, much more intelligent than the fandom thinks they are. In general, they suffer from the stigmatization that many characters - but some people in real life do too - that someone who is intense and impulsive cannot possibly be as intelligent as people who are meek, soft-spoken, generally more controlled. Think what the fandom does to Sirius vs Remus and Bella vs her sisters, when every arrow points to the fact that they are actually the cleverest in these pairings.

They are both some shade of mentally ill, and not because of the curse of the Blacks - half the Blacks went mad didn't they? What's the saying? Every time a Black is born the gods flip a coin. god the Targaryen-Black parallels are gold - Sirius is very likely horribly depressed in OOTP, something no one around him seems to understand, infuriatingly. The only one that seems to get it is Harry, who has the literal Dark Lord living in his brain (= bigger problems to deal with). Bella is... I don't know what she is, ask me after my psychiatry module next year, but my money is on PTSD after Azkaban - after all, she didn't have the escape of an Animagus form behind bars. She would also very likely be victim-blamed for these different feelings, which would lend itself to a delicious nobody else in the world understands us but us type of post-Azkaban dark!fic which I would love to read.

They are both skilled at magic, and while they might despise each other for their respective political views, they respect each other because of this. Bella is probably above him in terms of magical power and skill, because she's 9 years older and because of Voldemort's training, but Sirius seemed to be keeping up quite well with her during their fight in the DoM.

Speaking of which, I am sure that Bellatrix's scream of triumph was due to her winning their duel, not because she thought she had killed him and that is probably the single thing I love the most about HBC's interpretation of her in the movies. That look. 10/10.

I am of the opinion that Bella is all bark and no bite when it comes to certain members of her family, especially her sisters. Sure, she might say that she wants to prune her family tree but 30 years later in the beginning of DH, she still calls Andromeda sister. I'm sure she would want nothing more than to put him under lock and key for the rest of his life and never let him escape, not kill him. And, to me, the way Sirius speaks of his family is very interesting. I'm sure he firmly believes that he hates them, but his actual feelings are more complex than that. You can hate someone and still desire their love, their respect. You can hate that they are the only people in the world who understand you - and hate yourself more in turn, for it.

Sirius seems to me like someone haunted by his own darkness. He, much like Harry, would be constantly worried that he's becoming like them. I'm sure it's a weak spot for him and I wish we had heard more bickering, or at least a full interaction between Bella and Sirius (I feel like she would claim him as hers, underline how much he cannot escape his own blood, even just to mock him/unsettle him in battle). But what Dumbledore says to Harry is true: it doesn't matter how alike they are, it's their choices that matter much more. And I feel like this is why the two of them would never reconcile in canon. They stand for different things.

I also think there might be some - and I know Freud is controversial nowadays, but bear with me - penis envy, on her part. Because Sirius was born the heir - something she would have given her left hand to be: to be born and die a Black instead of being expected to marry into another family - and he squandered it all away by consorting with werewolves and mudbloods. But no. He got everything and pissed on it, and it's just not fair. And by choosing not to come back, even in the two years after Regulus' death, he made sure that the Black Family name will die with him- and I think that is just something she can never ever forgive him.

Now. Everybody knows I don't like TCC and my preferred view of Bella is someone with fertility issues, even to the point of being sterile.

[I read an amazing fanfic once and a line from it stuck in my brain - "If I can't be life, then I'll be death"]

But. If we do see it as canon. This is also the reason why - despite being overjoyed at Delphi's birth - I am convinced that she wished for a boy when she was pregnant. If she had a boy with the Dark Lord, who couldn't possibly give them his name, the House of Black would have an heir. This is also the reason why I don't thing she was necessarily opposed to having children with Rodolphus - the "spare" would have been her heir.

Bellatrix would say that Regulus was her favourite cousin, but truth be told, it was really Sirius whom she respected more - at her core, in my opinion, Bellatrix is really only someone who respects power. Sirius is like her that way.

But Bellatrix is clearly a cruel person, which Sirius is not (or at least, he tries not to be: Kreacher and Snape are two very particular cases of people who are mean to him back). Also, Sirius' view of the world is much more egalitarian - If you want to know what a man’s like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals. Bellatrix is clearly someone who sees the world in terms of hierarchies, and lives within them (see: how she acts around Voldemort and what is implied of her treatment of house-elves who obey their masters: there is a scale and some serve others, and as long as they do so well they have certain rights; disobey, you get punished).

(Bellatrix is somewhat a feminist character but let's be real- she's not a revolutionary. She went to the Dark Lord and showed him just how powerful she was - aka my wand is bigger than all these male DEs' - and he said "okay, fair, I'll give you the Mark", thereby freeing herself. She is not a "equal representation for women inside terrorist organizations!!" type of girlie)

I also love how her death parallels Sirius'. It's thematically beautiful and it excuses her death coming at the hands of one Molly Weasley (who could never ever in a million years have beaten her on skill alone). She dies because she is arrogant. It's one of her traits. Overconfidence. She was always meant to die like that.

[coincidentally one of the reasons why she would not be a hufflepuff like some suggest: this woman is not humble]

I could go on, but I think I've rambled enough.

P.S. Let's not sleep on the fact that the two of them together would be hot.

[deliciousangelfestival]

The Audacity Of This B - Lloyd Hansen Series

Character: Lloyd Hansen x Rich!Female Reader

Summary: Reader's ex-fiance suddenly visits her. What does he want? And how will Lloyd react?

Words Count: 4.200,-

Warning: 18+, smut, death character, bad words.

Authors Note: Thank you for leaving any comments, likes, and reblogs.

I love you all. 💕💕💕😘😘😘

If you have any feedback or want to ask any questions please send it to my inbox. 

This chapter is from Lloyd Hansen's Series - 3 Billion Divorce.

Check out Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Extra Story

And check out my other stories from Masterlist.

Some relationships couldn't work out. It happened.

Like Ethan, his biggest regret is losing you.

That was his fault for letting his insecurity win. 

Seeing you with someone else makes him want to puke. 

His pointed finger moves between you and Lloyd. “You’re married?”

You move closer to Lloyd to rest your hand on his chest. You look at him with a warm gaze; Lloyd smiles back at you without any signal. 

He's a good actor. 

“ Yes.” 

Ethan crunched his face when he saw the intimate act. He altered his gaze. “I don’t believe you.”

"You chose him over me ?!"

"Ethan, if you came here to disrespect my husband, get the hell out."

Ethan took a step back. You've changed. 

He knew there was a big gap between you both. His parents always compare your achievements to his.

Everyone said he would be the luckiest person to have you as his wife. It felt like his pride was being stomped. 

"You're missing a good chance, Y/N."

After Ethan left, both of you were still in the same position. You tried to push Lloyd away, but he didn't budge. 

 He wondered how you ended with Ethan. “Do you like him?” 

You were silent then he saw you smile for a second “At first.” 

Lloyd clenched his fist; the thought of you with someone else just irked him.

"So… he's your type huh?" Lloyd sneered like he was mocking you.

"He wasn't my choice. When I studied abroad, they chose a fiance for me without my knowledge."

To be precise, your grandmother chose Ethan. She picks her closest aid to monitor you. 

If your relatives couldn’t tame you, your husband could do it.

“I thought I found a good guy. He was sweet at first, but it didn't work out."

He smiled, but his displeasure was obvious. “There shouldn’t be any secrets between us, honey.”

You scoffed. Lying doesn't work with Lloyd."I despised him."

Lloyd thought so.

“It’s difficult to break the engagement. Since both families benefit from this.”

At that time, L/N company with Wielder Construction needed to work together to remodel the train station in New York. 

“They basically sold you.”

“It’s a normal thing in my family.” Your uncles and aunties got married not by their choice, except by your parents.

“Ethan was sweet and respectful. He visited me when I studied at Oxford. He left a great impression. I thought why not give it a try? On the semester break, I went to his place to surprise him. But what I found was, he had a sex party, and he made out with my cousin. Turned out she went to the university with him.” You felt betrayed when you saw the vulgar scene. 

“You told your grandfather?”

You nodded. “And he saw the video but he told me to stay silent. That’s when I realized he needed this marriage too.”

“I almost gave up and accepted my fate to have a lifeless marriage. But then I remembered grandfather hated people who lost his money. He will toss anyone who he thinks is useless."

"So when Ethan asked to invest in his new business, I gave him 500 million dollars and I told my grandfather. He appreciated that I gave Ethan a chance."

Lloyd coughed. Every time you mention money, it is always an outrageous amount. Your ex is an idiot. 

“It was your scheme from the beginning, you know he will lose it.” 

He learned you are also a risk taker since you don't mind losing that money to get what you want. 

You chuckled. “It was big news and the media loved to see the downfall of rich kids.But the most important part is my grandfather who was really mad. He didn’t want a stupid grandson-in-law. And he cut the engagement."

Lloyd learned that you are pretty manipulative when he heard the whole story. He could probably finish all his missions faster if you work with him. 

"Do you want me to handle him? He seems like trouble like your relatives."

You shook your head and made a cross with both of your arms. “I don't want to get in any trouble since Ethan’s father is Robert Wielder.”

That last name was familiar. Lloyd's expression was enough to tell that he knew. You nodded. “Ethan's uncle is the President, Nolan Wielder. I don’t want to deal with the Secret Service, FBI and CIA.”

Lloyd agreed in his line of work; he knew some people he couldn't touch. "You're right it's a pain in the ass."

"What does it mean you will miss a good life?"

“I didn't follow his update after the engagement broke. But it seems like he has started joining politics."

“Him?” Lloyd didn't believe it when you said that, but when he looked down from your office window. There's a billboard with Ethan's campaign photo.

“Wielder has a long history in politics but only for the male heir. Nolan only has a daughter, and the only male heir to continue their tradition is Ethan. Robert is ambitious to make his son a President.”

He gathered all the dots and could figure out that Ethan came here to check on you. And want to marry you since he still single. 

Voters prefer married candidates.

You sighed heavily. “I miscalculated the bad outcome. I'm sure his father will call me.”

Your guess was correct, after a minute your secretary knocked on your door. 

"Miss, there's some,-"

You move closer to your table and pick up the phone. "Hello?"

“Ah, my dear Y/N. How are you?” The older man's voice sounds friendly but vicious at the same time. 

“I’m good.”

“I hear what happened with your family. It’s tragic but necessary to get rid of the rotten parts.”

You didn't say anything because he didn't help you when you struggled.

“I'm inviting you to the gala dinner. I insist. I heard you also got married. I’m sad you didn’t invite me. I want to get to know him.” The other side seemed to know you didn't want to talk, so he cut to the chase. 

“Yes, Robert.”

You lowered your head and sighed heavily. "Do you have suits, Lloyd?"

“Why?”

"We got invited to the gala dinner.”

Lloyd was bored and decided to walk around at your company. Jimmy stood before him, lifted his left palm and pointed his fourth finger. 

Lloyd raised his eyebrows. “I don’t understand sign language, old man.”

Jimmy rolled his eyes. “This generation…" He sighed heavily. "What I meant was you should give Y/N a ring.”

Lloyd pinched the bridge of his nose. Both of you forgot the most important thing to make acting as husband and wife more believable. No wonder Ethan doesn't believe you when you tell him you got married. A woman like you needs to wear a beautiful ring. 

Lloyd picks up his phone. “Find me the most expensive wedding ring, size 13.”

Lloyd entered your room and saw you dressed in a gown. You look elegant and mature in the evening dress. 

You also saw him looking good. He was dressed in a perfectly fitting black suit. He seems like a gentleman. 

He knelt near you and pulled a red velvet box from his pocket. “Y/N L/N, I swear on the 3 billion dollars I will never betray and let you get hurt. Because you're the greatest asset that I ever had.”

Your heart skipped a beat for a moment. You knew it was only for an act. “I do. From now on, let’s get along."

Lloyd didn't know why, but he thought the proposal was real for a moment. He must keep his head clear and remember this is just a contract.

He stood up and sat on the side of your bed. "Is this a good idea to show my face at the gala?"

"It's perfect timing. All the guests know me. If I introduce you as my husband. No one will bother me anymore."

At the gala.

Everyone gasped and whispered when they saw you walk into the room.

You force the corners of your mouth to curl up when you greet other guests.

You whispered to your partner, "I just came back 2 days ago, and it seems they knew everything."

Lloyd chuckled.

One of the most effective weapons is gossip. "Walls have ears, my dear." Lloyd played his part well. 

Too well. He stroked your hair and kissed your temple. 

In other people's eyes, both of you look close and intimate. And with the ring on your fingers, they believe you are already married.

The host of the party sees it too. Ethan and his father, Robert, saw you and Lloyd look like newlyweds. 

Ethan tried to fake a smile, but it was seen through. Robert notices his son wants to cry. He whispered, "If you didn't invest in that fake start-up, both of you are married now. Now look, she chose a mercenary to be her husband."

You gripped Lloyd's arm tighter when you greeted Robert and Ethan. The older man seems friendly and welcoming, but his conversation always leads to gaslighting.

Robert gave a quick kiss on both of your cheeks. "Welcome Y/N." Then he moved to Lloyd. He didn't bother to offer a handshake, "Mr. Hansen. I heard about your work in Prague. It was impressive but such a mess."

Lloyd doesn't bother when someone underestimates him. In his line of work, he already used too with harsh words.

You must keep the act longer since you got seated at the same table as the host party. They changed it at the last minute. 

After everyone got seated and talked, Robert broke the mood by asking, “When will you get divorced? You signed prenup right? My lawyers will help you.”

You raised your voice. “Excuse me?”

“You picked a dangerous man to be your husband, Y/N. His hands had taken out hundreds of lives. You deserved better."

You crossed your arms; you decided not to be friendly with him anymore. “Not so different from us. There’s no big business without the blood of innocent people.”

What you meant was you weren't that innocent too. You knew the company your grandfather was built with real tears and blood.

"I think this conversation will only disrespect my husband. So I think we will leave." You start to move from your seat.

"We're not done yet."

"L/N company won't stop donating to your brother next year election campaign."

"My brother will be forever grateful. What I want to ask is the 500 billion dollar project. Your uncle promised me I would be part of it, and I got 20%."

“Then your project will get into trouble, my dear.”

"You need my connection. Without my help, you won't get it easy, Y/N. Remember, I've been playing this game longer than you."

"That's bullshit. Your company doesn't take part. And it was my uncle who promised you, not me. I'm not your business partner."

You clenched your fist holding out any anger. The audacity of this old man. He didn't do anything to get this mega project. For those 4 years of running and hiding, you are still reaching out to a potential business partner. 

You were lucky; you found your grandfather's old notebook before you got cast out. 

Inside he wrote some contacts of business partnerships that he worked with. 

"I will be straight to the point, Mr Wielder. My answer is No." You lift yourself from the chair.

“If you leave, you will miss a chance to be the 1st lady.”

Before you could say anything, Lloyd had already stabbed the table knife between Robert's fingers to the table. 

It made everyone near the table gasp and get scared. Even the musicians stop playing their instruments. Lloyd waves his hand to signal everyone to look the other way. He already controls the rooms. 

He smiled but sounded displeased. "I've been reading about your son's campaign situation. His name doesn't have a strong brand. He will lose the election if he doesn't have L/N company to back him up."

"Now, I will give two choices." Loyd is pissed; these people not just disrespect him but you too. 

"I will stab your son's eyes or slit his throat with this knife?"

Lloyd said with a calm smile. But everyone at the table felt fear. Ethan wants to move, but his father makes an eye signal not to stay in his position.

Robert keeps his composure. "Both of them don't give me any benefits."

"Exactly."

Robert noticed you didn't tell Lloyd to stop, which means you supported his doing. "I see; we couldn't reach the same point of view. And I apologise."

"That's great.” Lloyd pulled the knife from the table.”You've known my line of work. Keep your hands away from my wife." 

He stood up and linked your arms to him, and put his hand on your back. Both of you left the party. 

Ethan could only watch your back before he asked his father, “Do you want me to give him a lesson?”

Robert snapped, “No, stay here and play with your dick.” He is pissed that they wouldn't be humiliated like this if his son were good and could tame Y/N; they wouldn't be humiliated like this. 

Inside the car on the way home, both of you were silent. It made Lloyd restless. "Y/N, did I make a mistake?" 

His act could ruin your good image and business for having a lunatic husband. 

This is the first time you saw him lose confidence. You shook. "You didn't do anything wrong."

He didn’t believe it.

You smiled and held his hand. "It’s true, Lloyd. Everyone will know I have a husband who is not a coward and doesn't take shit if someone underestimates him."

After you said that, he finally felt relieved. He is grateful for the nighttime; if it was daylight, you could see his blushed cheeks.

'Growl.' 

"Sorry, I couldn't eat anything at that party." You pick up a phone and start typing to order food, "I'm craving a cheeseburger; what about you?"

"Same."

Back at your shared apartment.

After the two sets of cheeseburgers and 3 bottles of wine, both of you felt comfortable with each other.

Lloyd saw you were already drunk because you kept playing with a fork. He asked, "Is Wielder superior to your family?"

You felt dizzy and moved your chair closer to Lloyd. You nodded your head multiple times and opened your arms. "He gets along with the mafia; he even blocked the importer ship that belongs to my grandfather. Since then, Grandpa has chosen to keep his enemy close."

Lloyd chuckled, seeing you being dramatic at explaining things. "Did you forget that you are a reliable husband now?"

That’s right; you have someone to rely on. You don’t know if it’s because of the alcohol, but you want to kiss him. 

Your gaze didn’t move from his lips.

“Can I kiss you?”

Lloyd didn’t expect your question. 

Don’t need any answer. 

Soon both lips collided, and a tongue entered your parted mouth. You could feel a strong hand wrapped around the back of your neck. Lloyd bit and sucked your lips several times, then smirked. “Are you sure you want to do this?

Your heart was beating fast as if it could pop out of your chest at any moment. “Maybe?” You have a long giggle before you pass out. 

Lloyd catches your head before it hits the table. He sighed heavily since you woke up the fire inside of him.

The next day, when you wake up, you feel a headache. You didn’t remember what happened after you finished the third bottle of wine. When you want to get another sleep, your phone rings.

‘RING’

You weren’t ready to accept any call, but it was your secretary. He never called in the morning unless it was important.

When you listened to what he said, the hangover you had immediately went and jumped off the bed. 

Lloyd, an early riser, was sitting in the living room. He was enjoying the morning coffee while looking at your door. 

Your door suddenly opened.

“Morning.” He noticed you were already wearing an outdoor outfit, not the usual one. “Where are you going?”

You were fixing your jacket. “There’s an accident at one project site. I must check before the media comes and talk with the project safety manager.” You didn't want this accident to stop the progress. 

This will be your first time handling the project independently without your grandfather's guidance. 

While preparing all your stuff, Lloyd hopes for something different. 

“You didn’t remember what happened last night?"

“No.”

He made a mental note not to let you drink because you don’t remember.

At the construction site

Lloyd didn’t have a good feeling when both of you arrived at the location. "I don't like this."

"Me too. But I have to be responsible."

"That's not what I meant. Something doesn't seem right."

When you visited the site, a group surrounded you and brought you to the location. In just a second, you got separated from Lloyd.

“Y/N!”

You couldn’t hear his scream. One of the employees said, “Miss Y/N, over there is where the accident happened.”

When you followed him, you felt pain in your back. Before your hand could touch it, your head was covered with black cloth.

You got kidnapped again.

Lloyd wasn’t fast enough this time because the kidnapper used a helicopter. 

"Fuck."

He took his phone. "Find out which idiot used a helicopter in the daylight to kidnap my wife!!!"

Somewhere in an unknown location, 

"Urghh." Your eyes are still closed because of the dizziness.

With the hangover and the headache you got from the back hit made you puke.

"Geez, Y/N this is an Italian leather shoe."

That familiar voice made you open your eyelids. "Ethan, what the fuck? Not you too."

"Y/N, I'm sorry. This is the only way I could talk to you."

"This is an idiot move, you idiot."

"Stop talking like that. Y/N, let's just say this is intervention."

"For what?"

"Your husband. Y/N please leave him. He's not good enough for you."

You rolled your eyes. "You just want my money."

"Uh, you make this difficult Y/N. Seems like I can't have a conversation with you."

He snapped his fingers and someone appeared holding a gun. 

He heavily sighed, if you just give him another chance, both of you could have a happy life. 

"Get rid of her." He said that before he left the cottage.

'That's it?' 

You were shocked with how your ex-fiance negotiated. He didn't even try and just gave up. 

This is the biggest of the red flags you see in him. Giving up quickly and not wanting to admit his own mistakes. 

You know the hitman getting closer. "Wait, wait. I could give you more money. 4 billion dollars."

The killer laughed mockingly, thinking you would never have that much money. "Yeah, like I could be a billionaire in one day."

Based on his voice you realised he's not American no wonder why he didn't believe you. 

He aimed the gun closer to your forehead.

You closed your eyes, accepting your fate.

'BANG.'

At the loud gunshot, something warm and damp splashed on your face. You inhaled the fishy smell. 

"ARGH!!"

You were shocked; you weren’t ready. 

Blood splatters on your face. 

That was the first time you had someone die in front of your eyes. 

Since you became the target of your relatives, there was a time you got into a dangerous moment. 

"You should've accepted the money." Lloyd's voice made you feel safe. 

You were on adrenaline; your eyes kept seeing the hitman who had a bullet pierced into his forehead. 

Lloyd took off his jacket to cover your face.

"Send the dead body to Wielder house." He gave instructions to his subordinates. 

"Did he hurt you?" Lloyd ran to you and then cut the rope around your hands. You immediately wrapped his shoulder with his arms, rested your head on his neck, and cried.

"No. Take me home. Please." Your crying made him feel more guilty. He holds you tighter. 

When he found who it was, he immediately drove to the hidden cottage while his team ruined the Wielder building. That old man Robert will get another stroke. His stupid son tried to kidnap his wife. 

You went home and took a shower for the 5th time. No matter how much soap you put on your body, you could still smell the blood. You want it to disappear. 

It's the first time you got covered with blood from head to toe. And you hope this is the last time. 

In the end, you can handle it and sit on the floor. “ARGH!!!” To let out your frustration. 

“You were stressed and scared, didn’t you?”

“Isn't it obvious?"

“Y/N.”

You saw him already taken off his shirt; he only wore his brief. You didn't have the energy to ask him why. 

“I gave you my permission to use my body.”

“...”

“To release some stress. It’s my fault you got kidnapped.”

He shamelessly looked up and down your body. “I’m dying to touch your body, and I haven’t shown you my night duty as your husband.”

There was silence; your brain couldn’t think at all. You only have two choices, go to a psychiatrist to talk about your problem that ended without any solution or fucked Lloyd to release the stress you’ve been holding for years.

“Fuck it.” You kissed him, which surprised him for a while, but he didn’t want to miss the chance.

Lloyd's hands grasped your breasts and gently twisted your nipples. You gasped, and your heart beat faster and faster. 

He licked your pink nipples and tugged at them lightly with his teeth. You saw his perfectly toned body was breathtakingly hot. You hold his shoulder. 

“Can we continue this in the bedroom?”

“Yes, wife.”

He lifted your body while you hugged him by his neck. When he found the bed, he put you down gently. You spread your legs apart and wrapped your legs around his waist. You are already wet. His manhood pushed in. 

It felt so good. 

Your body trembled, and Lloyd enjoyed you watching your face. At the climax, he shoved his penis deep inside you. You felt the blood of your body rush down. 

He slowly pulled out his manhood, rested beside you, and gently caressed your cheek. 

Your finger sweeps his messy hair. “This is,-”

He left small kisses on your shoulders, lay beside you, and pulled you into his arms. “Don’t say anything, both of us need this.”

He was right; you were exhausted. You closed your eyes and burrowed in his arms. 

Lloyd pressed his lips to the top of your head. “Sweet dream, sweetheart.”

'RING'

"Urgh", The grumble voice came from Lloyd, who woke up because of the annoying ringtone. 

"Sunshine, if it's another accident, just send Jimmy."

You also didn't want to pick up the phone, but the only people who knew this number were the people you trusted. 

You couldn't turn your body to the nightstand since you were still trapped in Lloyd cuddled. Only one of your arms could reach the phone beside you. 

"Hello."

"Y/N, in another 5 minutes there will be another call. You have to answer it."

"Wait a-"

Jimmy had hung up the phone before you could ask.

Lloyd, who still closed his eyes, kissed your temple.

 "Whose that?"

"Jimmy, he told me to answer the next call."

"Hmm, you should."

You became fully awake and curious about what Lloyd and Jimmy knew that you didn't.

'RING.'

You immediately answer, "Hello."

"Miss L/N."

You hold your breath for a second when you hear the voice. You only know it from the television. 

You pushed yourself from Lloyd's firm grip, which made him whine. There's no way you answer the phone while looking at the naked man. 

You cleared your throat "Mr. President."

"I received a package from you. This is useful to stop my brother's ambition. There is no way I would let my spoiled nephew enter politics, and ruin my hard work."

You agree with what he said. You didn't like Robert. If you have to choose, you prefer to work with his older brother, Nolan, because of his work ethic. He loves his country and tries to make it better. 

Nolan knew his nephew didn't have the guts to enter politics. He prefers to choose anyone smarter than his nephew. 

So this is what Lloyd's doing. You caressed his hair. "Glad to help."

"And…"

“Your husband has a quiet reputation. Perhaps sooner I will need his skills.”

“I really recommend his service sir.”  Your reply made the other line laugh. Both of you made small talk before the call ended. 

You put down the phone and grab his head to kiss Lloyd.

He pulled you back into his arms again."You seem happy.”

“Yup." Of course, you were delighted; the country's leader called you personally. You giggled. "I got a new friend and a potential client for Hansen Security.”

Lloyd could only enjoy this peaceful morning. Not just you get rid of the stupid ex-fiance, but he also receives a powerful client. 

He thought if this was married life, it was not that bad. Lloyd can't explain for some reason but wishes this fake marriage would last forever. 

Thank you for reading, besties. 💓🥹

A/N: All mistakes are on me. I will fix it when I get more inspiration.

The next part will be the aftermath of their divorce.

Taglist, thank you for the reblogged 💖😘

@motivation-idontknowher

@evansce1

@chibijusstuff

@jasminxts

@alchemxx

@imsolatetothegame

@thorinmistress

@bree-lyrie

@another-tblr-fangirl

@buckysteveloki-me

@cherrybubblebullet

@supraveng

@avery-1999

@ridingthehotmessexpress

@hoely-maria

@katymae12344

@g-c-e

@rookiemartin

@my-regrets

@openup-yourmind

@magnificentsaladllama

@patzammit

@krissy25

@stressed-out-gisele

@eralen

@readingislife

@ara-theo

@rebeccapineapple

[the1975attheirverybest]

Real Love, Baby

A/N: based on this request. Think this’ll be it for tonight cuz I’m exhausted.

Warnings: none.

—-

“Jesus fucking Christ, I can’t keep having this conversation, darling!” Matty fiddled with his hair to give his hands something to do. He turned to look at her. “What do I have to do to prove it to you? How many times do I have to say ‘I’m in this. I’m serious. I want to be with you.’? At some point, I’ve gotta think…maybe you just don’t trust me.”

“It would be a lot easier to believe your declarations of you acted like it. You can’t just tell me you love me, but then shut me out every time I try to get close.” She felt defeated, repeating the same words that she had said to him countless times before, knowing that they’d fall on deaf ears again. as they always did.

“Oh for fucks sakes” Matty mumbled under his breath before she was even finished speaking. “Not this again.”

“Yes, this again! Matty, you’re not listening to me. I respect the work that you do. I’m your biggest fan, you know that. But, there’s no room in our relationship for your tricks and sleights of hand. You can’t perform for me, pull the rug out from under me. Leave that at work! Please, I’m begging you!”

The words she spoke broke her own heart. It baffled her that Matty could remain stoic in the face of her ardent pleas. The whole situation scared her. She never thought she would ever find herself in a position where she had to beg a man to love her, or let her love him. Even worse, she never thought that person would be Matty. When they first met, things seemed to come naturally and effortlessly between them. She should’ve known it was too good to last forever. The things is, she was far from a hopeless romantic. In fact, before she’d met Matty and was consumed by him, she used to say that love could hardly be worth the trouble. She thought she respected herself too much to allow herself to hand over her heart like that. She had no idea when that changed, or how she ended up here…the very thing that her past self despised. Love-sick, strung out on him, addicted to his love. Even an idiot would’ve told her the honeymoon phase never lasts.

She didn’t know what hurt more, the fact that Matty didn’t seem to love her anymore, or the fact that she didn’t see it coming.

“I can’t believe this.” Matty shook his head in disbelief. “Are you really using my own work against me? Is that what it’s come to? Why would you do that?”

“You left me no choice!”

“You don’t seem to understand: love isn’t a tangible thing. Love isn’t an object. You can’t prove it or disprove it! You just have to trust me. Why can’t you trust me?”

Hot tears ran down her cheeks like a stream. How could he ever think that she didn’t trust him. “Things are different.” She whimpered. “I used to be able to feel your love. In your touch, your looks, your words….in your eyes. It’s not there anymore.”

“Do you- you can’t be serious.” She scuffed, dismissively. “Are you joking? Do you hear yourself right now? I mean- how am I meant to control my eyes? This is insane.”

“That’s not what I said-“

“You’re asking for the impossible, here. You understand that, right? I can’t prove love. If I could, it wouldn’t be-“ he stopped himself, looking at her with blank eyes, as if he was seeing right through her. As if she wasn’t even there. “why am I arguing with you? You’ve gone insane.” The words hung in the air, echoing in her mind.

She wiped her own tears, watching him as his chest rose and fell. She didn’t know what to say to him. She didn’t know how to talk to him because she felt like she couldn’t even recognize him anymore. He took a deep breath. “I need a smoke, a zoot, something- I need to get the fuck out of here. I can’t deal with this, right now.”

He headed straight for the door without looking back once. Not even to say goodbye.

***

Matty took off his leather jacket, placing it gently back on the hanger by the door. He wiggled his feet out of his loafers, sighing loudly. He was a bit stoned. But nothing too serious. The long walk, and the joint he’d smoked, helped him to unwind and think about the fight they’d gotten into. To weighed on him, heavily, that she’s been feeling unappreciated and neglected lately. It bothered him even more that this wasn’t the first time in recent memory, that they’ve had this exact same fight. They keep trying to discuss it, only to arrive at the same dead-end. He knew something needed to change, but he didn’t know what it is. All he knew for sure was that he loved her. Wanted her. Needed her. Nothing else mattered to him.

He walked through their home, looking around for her. Maybe they didn’t need to resolve this once and for all, tonight. It’s been a long day for both of them. And he was tired of arguments. Besides, he missed her. He just wanted to hold her, kiss her, and tell her that she’s the love of his life. Tomorrow, once they’d slept on it and had a chance to think things through, they’d discuss it calmly and carefully. As a team. Not as sparring partners, not as debate opponents. They needed to be on the same side again.

Matty rushed into to kitchen, thinking that, perhaps, she was stress baking again, but she wasn’t there.

She wasn’t stress-cleaning either because the laundry room was empty. He ran up the stairs into the bedroom, and the bed hadn’t been touched since he’d made it this morning. She wasn’t in his home studio, or in her office. Her purse and phone were gone. She wasn’t home.

***

“Pick up, pick up, pick up…c’mon, baby.” He muttered.

In the car, Matty connected his phone to the car stereo system, dialing her over and over, but he kept getting sent straight to voicemail. He’s already left her three messages, and she wasn’t picking up his calls. His heart sank as he drove through the streets, thinking about her leaving their home. It was her home. It’s where she belongs. He’d forced her out of it. There was only one place she could be.

***

“Thanks so much, Carl.” Matty thanked the library security man for pointing him in the direction that his girlfriend had gone. He excused himself and walked down the hallway, speeding up the stairs to the fourth floor, skipping two steps at a time.

“There you are! Fuckin’ hell, babe! You scared the shit out of me.” He called out as soon as he saw her sitting at the table, reading in silence. The entire fourth floor was empty. It was only her and the front desk lady.

“Sir, this is the quiet reading floor, no speaking allowed.” The front desk worker cautioned him.

“Give me a fuckin break, there’s literally no one in here.”

The lady simply pointed to the “silence please” sign, making him roll his eyes.

He ignored the librarian’s warnings and rushed right over to his girlfriend. “I know you want proof. I know you want to be sure that I love you. You don’t think I’ve given you enough-“

“You’re not really allowed to be speaking up here.” She attempted to shut him up, but she knew Matty well enough to know it wouldn’t work.

“I don’t know how I can show you that I love you. I trust you. I’m as open with you as I have ever been with anyone. Including myself.”

She brought finger to her own lips, hushing and pretending to read.

“You want to know for a fact that I’m serious about you, but the only way to do that would be literally read my mind. And that’s impossible. Which is why I always say that you can’t know. You can only trust.”

She slapped both ends of the book together, shutting it dramatically as her heart raced. She slid the book onto the table in front of her, looking up at Matty questioningly. He was nothing if not dramatic. She appreciated his enthusiasm, but she wasn’t necessarily asking for some outlandish speech, she was just asking for a bit of his heart.

“I just want you to trust me. If you want proof, I’d that’s what it takes, then I’ll prove it to you: will you marry me? I love you, I want you, will you be my wife?”

[gracefullou]

been a Larry cause of fanfiction, and honestly, I've come to totally despise Harry. I need someone to make me disbelieve in the Larry masterposts. please help

I'm so sorry, i can't help you with that. I have no energy to debunk larry masterposts and all the lies that have been told by larries over the years. What I can tell you though is that Louis has explicitly said that Larry is not real. And real or not, it has always been harmful to Louis both professionally and personally. Just look at the harassment his family faces on a daily basis by larries fishing for their silly "proofs". What awful things they allow themselves to post about a literal child. In any case, all those "proofs" or let's say "moments" are from a decade ago give or take a year or two. There hasn't been a positive indicator that these two are even in contact for years now. Louis' principles are worlds apart from that man's (yes, opposites attract but there has to be commun beliefs and ethics. Hello, greedy fuckers?). Also, think about it rationally. In 2019, when Louis was f*cked over and was barely even allowed to release his debut album (after YEARS of fighting for it) with zero promo whatsoever by Sony while they were doing everything to promote that man, do you really think it's possible to just sleep on the fact that your "husband" or partner or whatever tf larries believe is partners and friends even with the same people trying to ruin your career (that man is literally besties with Rob Stringer. He had lunch with him in 2019 two days after fizzy's death, recorded his album at his house, sang happy birthday to his daughter at his concert and sat with him at the scammys)? No wonder larries thought of every shadow they saw at that man's concerts in his first tour as Louis, they clearly think he's a doormat who has no self-esteem or even a little respect and devotion towards his profession (no matter how many times he proved them wrong with both actions and words). Like they really think Louis would kiss a man who called his late mother "someone's mom" in the mouth and continue to have a happy relationship with him 💀. Louis is clearly not fond of that man anymore. He's always polite and answers with his never ending grace and generosity when asked about him (mainly bc he cherishes the 1D legacy too much to ever shit on one of its members) but the difference in his statements and the way he speaks about him compared to 2017 is very obvious and so telling. Just recently, larries were celebrating both of them being at the Euros final when there hasn't been any pics of them together 💀. I repeat, two ex-bandmembers were at the same event at the same time but didn't meet eachother (there's no way they met and no one took a pic). What does that say? If they were "married" wouldn't the obvious choice be to meet eachother, or if "management wouldn't allow that and since apparently both Louis and that man chose signaling to larries as their purpose in life💀" wouldn't the obvious choice be for that man to take a step back and just not go since Louis is the big football fan? It's clear they don't talk to eachother AT ALL, probably for years now 😌. Whether there was a romantic relationship or not before i can't tell but 2019 forward, it's obvious that 100% there's no relatioship of any kind there. Probably, no contact at all (remmember Euphoria 😬). Lastly, anon. Even if larry was real (which is not), you don't have to support that man if you don't like him anymore. I hate the notion that if you love louis, you have to support the other people around him inculding his non-existent husband.

[kiryoutann]

Before reading, please check series masterlist to read the warning(s), disclaimer, and to make sure you’re on the right chapter. Minors do NOT interact.

I appreciate the likes, replies, and reblogs! Thank you so much. If you like what I do, you can consider donating to my Kofi. Once again, thanks so much!

Grief is so hard to hide, isn't it?

Childe despised it. He despised how the illumination along the corridor's walls seemed to dim as he was moving through it. He despised how the people gathered outside his father's door bowed to him before lowering their heads once more with grave expressions.

Childe despised that he had to go through something like this again.

When the big door was opened, Tonia and Teucer's sobbing from next to the bed were the first thing that caught his ear. It was soft but, had the ability to cut his long-dead heart. On the other side of the room, you are standing next to his mother, stroking her shoulder and attempting to sooth her.

Childe despised grief since it reminded him of his mother's expression whenever he spoke of Anton.

“Ajax,”

His mother called out in between her sobs. His blue eyes were fixed on her, watching her struggled to gather the last of her energy to approach him and give him a weak hug. Why was she hugging him?

"Your father.." A sob. "He... he's gone."

Snezhnaya's king, King Alexander II, is gone. He's dead, and the only thing left to give the dead was a funeral. The royal family held it the next day, sending their nation into mourning and leaving both the royals and the people dressed in black.

However, not a single tear fell from Childe.

All he did was stand next to you while watching the funeral process being carried out. Beneath the memorial chapel, blue eyes follow the outline of the casket where his father lies.

Again, not a single tear fell from Childe.

“Ajax?”

It wasn't until you gently tugged on Childe's sleeve that he realized he was buried in his own thoughts. When he meets your eyes he can't help but wonder what you think of him now you see his face without the tear stains on his cheeks. He should be grieving, which means he should be crying, right?

Meanwhile, from your eyes, you notice that his blue eyes look even emptier than before.

You took a breath before saying, "We'll be returning to the palace soon."

“..Oh.” He gave you a delayed response.

But, you make no complaint about it. You gave him a quick peek through your black birdcage veil before hooking your hand on his, gently pulling to guide him to leave the building.

Childe detested grief because he found it weird.

The two of you stopped when a group of aristocrats came towards you both. One of them is Duke Maxim, whom you remember from having tea with you just before the incident. They bowed respectfully before rising to their feet.

“Your Highnesses.” Maxim greeted, turning completely to Childe then. "To encounter you again in such a setting... how unfortunate."

There is something about his voice that you don't like, even if you are unsure of what it is. Childe next to you is still in silence, either he doesn't know what to say or he is deaf to what is being spoken since he has been lost in his own thoughts during the entire funeral.

You chose to be the one who opened your mouth, “Duke Maxim, is there something you want to say?” you ask.

Maxim's face is hardly covering his real expression right now. Perhaps it's because of your tone, or perhaps he regards you as someone who doesn't deserve to hear what he has to say. Yet, he had little choice because Childe stood there with no response.

"I simply wanted to remind you that the meeting discussing the succession should be held today."

Now you know exactly what it is about his presence here that you dislike. Maxim did show respect for the deceased by wearing black like other nobles attending funerals, however, he lacked the modicum of common sense that told him that for someone to bring up the subject of inheriting the throne when the late king's coffin had just been closed was inappropriate.

Your jaw stiffens from your attempts not to curse him then and there. "Excuse my impoliteness but, can you show a little self-awareness? We just laid to rest the late King.” You didn't hide the venom dripping in your voice.

“Forgive my rudeness, but it appears Your Highness is unaware of the importance of a new king for Snezhnaya.” One of them opened their mouth. You fixed your sharp eyes on the arrogant looking man in military uniform.

It's so miraculous you haven't flung one of your high heels in their face.

"Would holding the conference on the day of the burial change anything?"

The rhetorical question comes from you, answered by none. You still try not to raise your intonation and cause a scene but, it feels impossible when they appear in front of you with their foolishness.

Your hands wrap around Childe's arms tighter than before, protective in case they intend to snatch him away from you (though you know that's unlikely). “Give my husband some time. If you're intelligent and empathetic in the slightest, you'll know you have to give him at least a week to process everything." you demand.

Neither of them dared to open their mouths after that. Wise decision, you think, considering your patience is growing thin.

One of them broke the silence with a faked cough. "Ahem, We will be back tomorrow morning then, Your Highness."

Both you and Childe gave no response to him, he used the opportunity to continue, "For the discussion regarding the succession and also the investigation of Prince Shiva."

Instantly, your eyes open wide to find the man trying to hold back his grin from coming out. He knew very well what he had said. The confusion and anger on your face is too obvious for them not to notice, yet they see no threat in it.

"Why on earth would you do that?" You grind your teeth.

"Surely that is obvious. All of this took place during the late king's meeting with him. It is only natural for us to suspect him.”

“But, Shiva couldn't have done such a—!“ You stopped when realization hit you.

Isn't this exactly what you thought the day before? Didn't you also suspect Shiva? Something whispering to you is not a coincidence for the King to show the exact symptoms of poisoning as you did before his death.

If you, his own sister, are unsure that your brother is completely clean, what about others?

On the other hand, your words that you cut yourself off put those bunch of nobles under the impression you too had realized it. Now, they have no intention of covering up their grin, they look at you with a look as if they have won something.

"What's wrong, Princess? Have you nothing to say?”

Hold it, (Y/N), you tell yourself as you take a deep breath to quiet the raging emotions inside of you. A second later, the burning fire that was your anger miraculously disappeared as if someone had splashed water on it. Rational thought comes back to you, it whispers so you don't give them what they want.

"No," you respond. "It was very understandable. So, you are free to do as much investigation as you like on my brother." But, if Shiva is proven to be innocent, you will be the first person I feed to wolves, you want to add but, didn't.

When you turned to look at Childe, he still had the same straight face and blank stare. Now you feel guilty having to argue with these people in front of him. A smile you forced on your face for them.

"Please excuse us." You softly motioned your husband to walk past the nobles.

Childe remained silent throughout the carriage trip to the palace. He only glances up when you put your hand on his to give him a gentle squeeze; for the rest, those blue eyes find his shoes to be the most interesting to look at. Because of that, you assumed he would remain that way for quite sometime. That is until you walk him into his chamber.

“Please rest, Your Highness.”

That's what you said after Childe sat down on the couch near his bed. Just as you were about to bow to excuse yourself to give him some alone time, he opened his mouth unexpectedly.

"Aren't I a horrible person?"

The moment it came out of him, you couldn't help but notice the emptiness in his voice. You straighten your posture again as you gaze at his attempts to give a thin, bitter smile. It was so terrifying how he looked no more alive than a wolf on the verge of death.

Childe let out a laugh that shook his shoulders but, never touched his eyes.

“My father died but, I didn't shed any tears. Am I not a cruel son?”  He isn't waiting for your response because he knows, he is the worst person in the world.

Childe despised grief because he didn't know what to feel about it.

With a room this big, your cursing should have echoed. However, what his hearing now captures is your footsteps getting closer. Stop, he thought. How can you be so brave to approach someone so cruel that he doesn't cry over his father who died the slowest and most painful death possible?

"I'm not even grieving." He let out a scoff. "Perhaps they were right when they said I didn't have a passion for anything but bloodshed. Perhaps they were right about me being heartless—”

It was the warmth he felt when you closed him in your arms and drew him into your embrace. Those blue eyes widened. You bring him further to rest his head on your chest. At this point, you don't care if he can hear your heartbeat; the fact that you're this close proves that you don't see him the way he sees himself.

Soft, ginger strands between your fingers as you stroke his head. “There is no right or wrong way to grieve.” You spoke softly. "Everyone handles it differently, therefore no one has the right to judge you, including yourself.”

Childe believes he really does not deserve you. This is a luxury that no amount of money in the world can purchase. In your arms, he unfolds, not a single part of his cold, dead heart is left untouched by your comfortable glow. He never wanted anything so much than to drown in everything about you. His secret becomes your truth, you are the air he would kill to breathe.

As if he'd spent his entire life practicing for it, his hands found your waist and hugged you tightly.

Inside his head, he wondered while performing autopsies on past memories. If only someone treated him like this every time he asked about Anton in the past, would he have a better understanding of grief? If only people didn't force him to bury everything about him, would he not mistake the emptiness in his chest for the absence of a heart?

Childe nuzzles up to your chest. "Don't go.” He spoke quietly. “Stay with me."

You've experienced a lot of déjà vu during the last several days. This time, you're reminded again with the memory of when Childe came to you drunk and said exactly the same thing. You don't know what to feel now you realize there's no alcohol involved in this one.

Nonetheless, through your questions about the meaning of his words, you made your choice.

You stayed.

It was late at night when Laura arrived at the address you gave her. She pushed back her hood, sweeping her dark eyes across the exterior of the luxurious mansion where the Crown Prince of Liyue stayed whenever he visited Snezhnaya. Unlike other nobles, Shiva always preferred to reside in the home he purchased over the Emerald palace.

Even though the eyes of the guard guarding the gate were sharp, Laura tried to muster up the courage to approach them.

“State your business.” The voice was firm and fast, leaving no gaps for her to make excuses.

In an effort to get the bravery to speak, Laura swallowed. "I-I have a letter from Euryphaessa to His Highness Prince Shiva." She's hoping the guard would let her in using the alias you instructed her to use.

It appears to work. The expression on the two guards' faces changed to one of curiosity before one of them ran through the gate to announce the arrival of this guest.

Soon after, he came back and led Laura into the building. After passing through a large door, she stopped in a room with a luxurious spiral staircase that was his main focus.

"Why did she send a letter all of a sudden?"

Laura almost jumped out of her skin when she heard his baritone voice. When she turned around, Shiva was already standing some distance away from her in his bathrobe. His damp hair dripped with water drops that touched his skin, creating the illusion that it glittered in the light of the chandelier. The Liyue imperial family was undoubtedly gifted with attractive appearances.

“A-ah.. that..”

Instantly, she lost her ability to form words under those piercing gazes. In order to spare her life, Laura hastily handed the letter into his hands. She watched as he tore open the unwaxed envelope and pulled out the paper inside.

Shiva raised one eyebrow before starting to read.

Brother,

You're returning to Liyue, right? On this sad day, I cannot leave my husband who is still in mourning. Under any other circumstances, I would definitely escort you to the harbor instead of sending a letter.

Are you alright? Remembering what happened makes me tremble. Even now, I become frightened every time someone brings me a cup of tea.

Shiva paused for a moment. You're afraid? It felt strange and worrying at one time. Nonetheless, he pushed the thought aside and continued reading to the third paragraph.

Upon your arrival in Liyue, please take care of your health. Now that you've matured, I hope you'll be wiser. Do you still often train with General Alatus? Endure all your difficulties, I believe it will bring positive consequences. Rest is always necessary; avoid staying up too late.

“No wonder she rarely writes letters. She's really bad with words.” he commented.

Someone told me that your expression is scary. Usually, I wouldn't have given this any thought, but, for some reason, I am now. Sometimes, I wish you could smile more. People will easily like you if you do. It would be great if my brother had more reliable acquaintances. Can you do that? I believe you can. Other than that, I don't think I have anything else to be concerned about. Now that I've said it, I hope you'll heed my wise counsel.

After writing this, I'm reminded of the moments I spent with you. Do you remember what we used to do when we were kids? Do you recall how we almost ruined all of Dad's important letters because we were too intrigued about the contents?

After reading the fifth paragraph, Shiva furrowed his brows as his mind searched for his past memories. The day you and him almost ruined the Emperor's important papers..

Something clicked in the back of his head.

Reading letters to improve your skill to decipher their hidden messages is a passion shared by the two of you. But, why are you suddenly bringing up that?

As he read the next one, Shiva's presumption was proven to be correct.

The contents of this letter I wrote are important, so please ensure that you understand my worries.

Your dear sister, (Y/N).

Shiva swept his eyes over the letter, re-reading it looking for the 'content' of the letter that worried you. His brain thinks what kind of secret code you put in it. For him to understand what you actually want to say, how should he read this letter?

Ancient letter code? No, you won't use it since it's possible that he has forgotten how to crack it. If you wanted to send a letter while trying to disguise its true message, you would choose the simple way yet, still ensuring it's not entirely obvious that someone other than Shiva can understand it.

Shiva stopped thinking. What if..

Laura wondered what brought his eyes back to the top of the letter. As she recalls, you only gave her one sheet, however, Shiva acted as if he was trying to memorize every word in it.

What was really in that letter? she thought.

Meanwhile, Shiva was trying to test his assumptions. From the start of your letter until the end, he carefully reads the first letter of every sentence. His breath caught as it made a complete one after reaching the fourth paraghraph.

Y O U. A R E. U N D E R. S U S P I C I O N.

Those four words were enough to tell him everything he needed to know.

There was a long tense silence for Laura, it felt like the calm before the storm. The next thing that happened, Shiva's shoulders shook from the silent laughter that escalated and echoed in the room. He pushed a strand of hair that tickled his forehead while reading the letter for the umpteenth time.

"Ha ha ha! Goodness, she really is something!”

Shiva crumpled the letter until it was shapeless. He landed his eyes on Laura with a big smile that sent chills down her body.

“You!” He pointed at her. “Tell the Princess that I understand her worries.”

There was a dangerous stir in his irises as he unclenched his fist and let the paper fall onto the marble floor. When Laura was about to nod in understanding, Shiva opened his mouth again.

"And one more thing,"

The most arrogant smile graced his handsome face.

"Tell her, that no one can touch me."

Though she didn't fully understand what he meant, Laura nodded quickly before bowing to take her leave. She had never been so eager to leave a room this quickly. Her wobbly feet almost knocked her over as she was in such a hurry to reach the door to give you his message.

"He said that?"

You asked Laura after hearing what Shiva told her to tell you. You see her giving you a nod through the mirror.

Evidently, sending him a letter in secret code was the perfect move. To be completely honest, when you first started writing it, you weren't sure if Shiva would get the sense of what you were saying. Even though Laura is now obliged to stand by your side, it is still possible that she will read your letter and use it as a chance to threaten you back if you write it too obviously. One could never be too careful.

You also avoided meeting him so that Snezhnaya's nobles didn't think you were working together. Shiva now knows what might happen in the future, therefore you should start looking into the incident on your own.

The jewelery box on the dresser was opened, revealing various kinds of expensive jewels inside. You took the necklace with the yellow gem and handed it to Laura.

"You have done well."

“T-thank you, Your Highness!” She immediately received it from your hands.

Though you can't really confirm Shiva is completely clear of this incident, you hope it's not him. If Shiva later fails to keep his word and gets 'touched' by the nobles, it's not impossible for them to suspect you, considering you were also at the same table as the King yesterday.

But, if it turns out that Shiva poisoned Snezhnaya's king—Childe's father—then, which side should you take?

A knock on your bedroom door was heard before you found the answer. It swings open when you tell them to come in and shows Countess Sasha. She approaches you, gives you a polite bow before stating her purpose of coming.

"Your Highness, someone is pleading to see you."

You furrowed your brows, "Who?" You don't recall having an appointment with anyone.

"It's Duchess Anna."

You can't hide the uncertainty on your face. Duchess Anna? In this situation, what could she possible want to say? When she requests a meeting without an appointment, especially while the entire palace is still in grief, you want to call her out for being impolite, but deep down you are left wondering what compelled her to do that.

With a sigh, you say, "I'll meet her."

One of the drawing room is where you stand after the door closes to give you and the brown haired woman in the seats some privacy. Anna hurriedly stood up to bow to you before raising her head again.

“Your Highness—”

“How impertinent,” You interrupted her without even a smile on your face. “to ask me to meet you outside of an appointment and while we are all still in mourning. Unless you are not grieved by the tragedy that happened?”

A loud gasp escaped her red lips. “No! T-that's not it, Your Highness! I'm come to inform you of an important matter!"

"You ought to be." You said. “Start talking."

Duchess Anna bit her lip in frustration, you really don't spare even small talk. Though, it's quite understandable considering your relationship and what she has done to you (even if that was from your manipulation). She took a breath, preparing herself which you thought was too much of a waste of time.

"About His Highness agreement with my husband which was cancelled,”

Although her words cause you to raise an eyebrow, you choose to keep quiet and let her continue.

The expression on your face should be enough to tell her that you don't like where this conversation is going. Yet like most people, Anna has a cause to defend—in this case, she is fighting for herself.

"I beg you to convince His Highness to make a new agreement with him."

Anna is a lot of things that you can't describe. But, you never thought she would be this lowly. You clicked your tongue in disgust, making sure it was loud enough for her to know the sight of her sickened you.

"And why should I do that?" you ask.

The Duchess locked her jaw, both from frustration and embarrassment at seeing no difference in your expression after hearing her request. “Please, please! I will do whatever you ask of me in exchange for it. Maxim—my husband—threatened to divorce me if I couldn't resolve the situation!” Her voice was full of despair.

Maybe under different circumstances, you would pity her. However, the agreement she was referring to involved Liyue in it, and you forbid anyone to lay a hand on it.

A scoff escaped you. “Is this what you mean by 'important matter'? Not only are you utterly ignorant, you're also disturbing my time of grieving just for things like this.” Your voice is full of poison that shows the shock on her face.

“Your Highness!” Anna screamed as you started to turn around to walk out of the room. “Your Highness! You will regret this!”

How dare she to say that. You gave her one last glance and found her face red from anger. Duchess Anna.. would she come up to you and slap you like the last time?

The next thing she said froze you in place.

“Something bad is going to happen!”

What?

What does she mean by that?

Before you could turn to her and ask what she meant, the familiar excruciating headache made you lose the strength to stand up. Unknowingly, your hand reaches for the doorknob to support your unsteady legs.

A vision. After a long time of not getting one, you receive one in the worst situation. In the next second, you get a glimpse of what the future holds.

It was a man—no, a group of men whose faces you couldn't see clearly. They huddled around a big table to discuss about something. One of them tapped his full ring finger on it to get the attention of the whole room.

"Then it's decided." he started. "On the second day of the throne succession conference, the great plan will be carried out!" He said proudly, “Prince Childe will get what he should have had a long time ago.”

A small vial filled with purple liquid was displayed before he continued with his voice unable to hide a smirk within it.

“This poison is the perfect gift for him.”

The vision ended there as you tried to collect your breath. Your heart is beating too fast for you to realize that your maids are already around you worrying about you.

No..

Fear abounds. You clenched your trembling fists. Behind your head, you draw conclusions from what you just saw.

Someone is planning to kill Childe.

AbbyBianx, ness

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[himbeereule]

different anon, but speaking of our lovely cast of ROs, what are their romance tropes/dynamics with MC?

Thanks for the ask (even though I dreaded this)... I don't really know much about tropes, and the wikis I read just now weren't that helpful, so I'll just try to explain in my own words somehow (I think I'm quite bad at this, so please bear with me)

...actually, I don't think it'd be possible to summarize them in tropes in the first place, since there can be a lot of them depending on how you act. In the first place, they will react completely different towards you, depending on whether you're more active or passive in your rom choices.

Yakov/Liliya: (may be) childhood friends to lovers; you can't be sure of what their true personality is, and they're reluctant to let anyone see, especially you (because they're afraid you might dislike it); if you're more active, they'll try to act cold/run away, even though they'll be desperate for you to catch them; if you're more passive, they'll try the same but'll be forced to come back on their own because they can't give up on you after all; in a same-sex dynamic, they'll do a lot of things to try and dissuade you from going their route, but as long as you don't give up, any reaction you choose to that will ultimately be successful (this is also the only route where you going complete yandere yourself is already fully mapped out)

Semyon/Selena: a dedicated green flag relationship; very supportive and protective; pretty much zero angst, they will never not be there for you; think Morkai from Soul Stone War (I love him so so much), but super calm and mature instead of grumpy

Mikhail/Marina: basically an easily-overexcited, nerdy pet; you're their only friend in the world; if you're more active, they'll be more shy and a bit tsundere; if you're more passive, they'll open up a bit more/act more cheerfully, since they'll suspect a kindred spirit; absolutely will pout if you don't give them enough attention

Leon/Leah: has absolutely no respect for you in the beginning; if you're more active, that will change, a lot; if you're more passive, they'll still see you as a puppet, but you'll be their puppet, and nobody is allowed to touch you; will also not really be able to bear manipulating you in any case, and will be quite weak to any request from you, so who's the puppet now?; not quite enemies-to-lovers, but maybe reluctant-allies-to-lovers/forced proximity

'Little' Semyon/Selena: is there a trope called fan-to-lover? it would fit; they idolize you completely; a classic guard-dog character, though they completely understate their own abilities because they compare them with their extremely over-the-top estimation of yours; tries to be your moral compass (but you can ignore that and break their heart by forcing them into doing bad things; they're too loyal to not do it, but they will suffer); the route where you can be the red flag

Nikola: the classic flirty, rebellious, [whatever the nb version of playboy is] character; will be very surprised to find out they can have lasting feelings for someone; also, my earliest character notes describe them as "cinnamon roll-murder hobo hybrid", so there's that

Rakhmil/Rakhilya: similar to Lyudmila in that they're really tired of all this shit and just want peace, but unable to give up on their cause; very chaotic route to take because of all the relationships they have with other characters; they betray their friends and family for you, and are consequently tortured by guilt - depending on how you deal with that, this is another route where you can be the red flag

Arseniy/Rozaliya: enemies-to-lovers, 100%; you are literally enemies on the battlefield; there are multiple opportunities where you can become their prisoner; absolutely despises you in the beginning; generally few but very intense encounters; also very slow-burn, you'll only get into an actual relationship with them towards the end

Lyudmila: love after marriage; even though it's kinda forced from your side ("marry me or die"), she stands by her decision and does her best to make it work; in the end, you'll not only be lovers, but also best friends (apart from being, you know, married)

Jan/Jana: master-servant relationship, slightly overprotective bodyguard, can't really deal with your affection at first since it seems like a violation of their duties; slightly yandere, but without possessiveness - the only thing on their mind is your well-being; wouldwill kill for you

...I feel like I really didn't answer that well, I'm so sorry ;_;

[dollypopup]

I'm in the same boat as you on all of the opinions you've been sharing publicly. Do you think there's any chance that they'll release any additional scenes that they nonsensically cut?

I don't know if you'll be feeling up to writing any fanfiction, as I've had a bad taste in my mouth about all this myself, but everything of yours I've read is amazing and I looked forward to all that you share!

Fortunately or unfortunately, all I know how to do is share opinions publicly lol The curse and benefit of saying everything with my whole chest, I guess. I really doubt that they'll release anything extra, sadly. For as much as the production listens to fans (and I actually think that's what caused a lot of problems this season-- when you write to try to please fans and not for the good of the narrative, you're bound to have pitfalls in the story you want to tell, but I digress), they don't really respect us very much, you know?

I've been writing a bit! Finishing Come Over Here and Profound For Me, which has been difficult because it's my version of S3 and Part 2. . .was painful, but I have an ideal ending for it and whether anyone else likes it (prob the story I've gotten the most polarity about!) I'm writing it for me, and that's what matters.

I'm really grateful that you enjoy my stories! I don't know what will come from my account in the future, there are some WIPs in the works. Cohapfm will def be finished, I'm prioritizing my selkie AU, and there's a fun modern comedy where Colin and Portia hate each other but he gets a friend to hook up with her and she's suddenly super nice after she's had an orgasm lmfao Hopefully that washes some bad taste away! Here, have a snippet of that one. I think we could all use some levity

Since the first moment Portia Featherington and Colin Bridgerton met, they had hated each other. Detested, with a passion that rivaled only the strength of how indifferent Portia was to her own daughter, and as much Colin loved her. Odd, really, considering they’d met when he was just a gangly thirteen year old, but Portia had never much liked children– her own, or anyone else’s. 

Colin delighted so much in kicking footballs into her prized lemon tree, dying Biscuit with beet juice so he’d come back with hot pink hearts over his white fur, and leaving prank calls- Congratulations! You have won tickets to the Graham Norton Show! To claim your tickets, please say milk 20 times in a row. . .great, now what do cows drink? Oh, so sorry! It’s water. No tickets for you!- that made her mum stomp around the kitchen and swear her revenge. 

So infuriated did he make Portia Featherington that though she claimed Penelope would die loveless and alone, but hey, at least Portia would never need a nursing home, when they began dating, she simply refused to acknowledge it. When he was her friend, he was but an acquaintance, upon becoming her boyfriend, finally her friend, and now that he was her husband– well, boyfriend was generous. 

Which was why Penelope nearly choked on her mashed potatoes when Portia gave a long suffering sigh and asked– “So, Colin, what is your favorite food?” over the dinner. It was a once in the blue sort of occasion, as Penelope imagined she got lonely in her big house with no one left to fill it. Prudence had moved in with John right before becoming Mrs. Dankworth in a surprise shotgun wedding, Phillipa and Albion already had her sweet niece Phoebe, and Colin had delighted in christening every last room of their flat with Penelope the instant they secured the lease. 

Why in the world would she even ask him? She despised him! So much so that when they walked through the door, though she welcomed Penelope, tepidly, but still, she glared at Colin’s choice of outfit, disgusted at the casual T-shirt and his grown out hair– If you’ve not funds enough to afford a pair of clippers, I can be charitable so you might look presentable for once. To which he replied Say, Portia, did you get new shoes? They hide your hooves remarkably well!

What was she doing asking him his favorite food? Portia had never cared about Colin’s favorite anything?

And then, she did actually choke, when beside her, Colin responded unhesitatingly, with “Pussy.”

[roxirinart]

Bunch of drabble about my personal take on Narilamb!! read if you care to :P otherwise have a great day! ❤️

Ok so they just. DESPISE each other.

For me personally I feel like Lamb would have converted Narinder (instead of killing him) as a spur-of-the-moment 'now I can hurt you how you hurt me, cruel irony' type thing, but didn't really stop to think about what it would mean... Post-fight adrenaline is a hell of a drug.

And now they have to live with that choice. They have to see their fallen god's betraying face every day, they have to provide for him and treat him as any other follower (or at least they try to). But they hate him. They hate him so, so much for what he did. I want to explore more into those deep feelings but like. Being saved from death itself (after being sacrificed as the last of your kind, so probably already traumatized oops), and given a new lease of life, only to realize that you've been nothing but a delayed sacrifice all along... It takes a WHILE to begin moving past that level of betrayal.

And NARINDER oh boy howdy. Betrayed himself by those he called his family (even if it was for a good reason). He's so twisted by hatred of the other Bishops and what they did that he's happy to play with others' lives and emotions to get what he wants.

I reckon he has a moment of realization once he's been de-throned of the irony of his own fate. But ofc he resents Lamb immensely for forcing him into the mortal world.... ALTHOUGH he is slowly coming to enjoy it! He probably had a really shit time in his realm, I imagine the 'scenery' would get boring SUPER fast. Maybe he sends Aym and Baal out into the world sometimes so they can return to him and describe it ❤️ I bet it's nice to finally get to breathe the fresh air and smell the smells and touch the grass and all that jazz!!

Lamb and Narinder go from vicious brawling regularly (usually at night away from the cult grounds) to the more occasional scuffle, but what doesn't change is that Narinder is not used to having a mortal body with physical needs and desires (if you catch my drift ;)) and struggles to differentiate between types of pent-up frustration, leading to skirmishes often becoming a lil more sinful than intended (see this piece for reference lol). Lamb is horny (get it?? Get it??? I made a funny little joke please laugh) in general as standard, and absolutely enjoys taking out their anger against Narinder in more creative ways (any other partner would be treated with much more respect ofc).

I'm still undecided about when they eventually fall in love... I definitely do want them to but getting over the current hostility will take a LOT of time and processing of feelings :))))) but they can do it! Maybe they can go to Ratoo for couples counselling or smth idk lol

But yeah that's it for now tune in next time folks :)

[watatsumiis]

Valentine's day mutual ships (part 1)

First of all, happy Valentine's day, y'all, though if you don't celebrate it I hope you have a good day regardless <3

Here is part 1 of assigning my mutuals ships! You're absolutely free to reblog it, screenshot it, save it, do whatever you like! I just hope I gave you all characters that you don't totally despise! I tried to keep it mostly neutral so it can be read as platonic or romantic!

@puppy-boy-inc 

Honestly, I think I’d pair you with Pantalone! I could see y’all spending the day together at one of his fancy private estates and eating fancy chocolate-dipped fruit or something like that. I dunno why, I just think Pantalone would mesh well with your silly puppy energy maybe he’d teach you to be a little less of a bully /j I’m sure he’d also spoil you rotten with gifts and sweet things, and would absolutely dote on you no matter what you did for him in return! 

@uplatterme

I’ve gotta pick Aether, I don’t think it could be anyone else. I know that’s totally the obvious choice but I think you two would get along so well. I could see you two doing something almost painfully cheesy like going to a botanical garden or a couple’s pottery making class, then going home and you’ve both set up surprises for one another, it would be one of those painfully sweet interactions because neither one of you realised the other had done something for you, so it’s all cute shocked faces and big cheesy grins all around!

@genshin-projection

There’s something about your vibe that makes me feel like you and Sucrose or Albedo would get along extraordinarily well! I could see all three of you going to a zoo or doing research or experiments together, you’d bring along a packed lunch and sit somewhere quiet and just talk about your interests together! It would be a super chill, laid back sort of hangout. Though, I could also see you getting along with Xinyan, since you both seem to have a love of music! You two could go to a concert or just hang out and talk about all your favourite artists and instruments and stuff! :D 

@that-foul-legacy-lover

Listen, I thought about it for a while, I truly did. I considered pairing you with Zhongli or Morax, then with Capitano, but in my heart you’re a Foul Legacy lover and it feels cruel to pull you two apart. I could imagine you two trying to make sugar cookies together but they come out a total mess because FL just wants to help but he’s far too big and clumsy in the kitchen, so all the measurements get messed up and there’s icing and flour and crumbs everywhere, somehow there’s egg shells on the wall, but you two had fun and that’s what matters! I could see you both going for a quiet evening walk together, maybe along the coast, watching the seabirds go by and maybe collecting seashells if you come across a beach together!

@zhongrin 

Listen. I know you’re married to Zhongli, I respect that, you're adorable together, but I hope you don’t mind if I shake it up a little - I could see you and Capitano pairing together really nicely! You guys would bake sweets for all your friends and have one of those food fights like out of a hallmark movie where you flick flour on each other and it’s just heart meltingly sweet and adorable and the food comes out brilliantly. He’d also love to take you out to one of his favourite secluded spots, a nice little pond he discovered while on a walk, and you two could feed the ducks together! You’d give cavities to anyone who dares even look at you both, honestly. 

I'm still working on the others at the moment, so if you commented on the original post or reached out to me, don't worry, I've got a list, I haven't forgotten you, I'm just sectioning it off at the moment :D Though if you happen to have any preferences on character gender or anything like that please shoot me a DM! I'd hate to accidentally put someone with a character or ship dynamic they dislike/are uncomfy with.

[reneewalkersbiceps]

NO I TOTALLY AGREE it was soooo. sterilised. considering they had gay sex (im the anon that asked btw)

like the book is not perfect but there is a LOT its missing in the adaptation. they really just completely nerfed most of the female characters. they entirely erased alex' sister june (who had a big part of both the plot and impact on his character). bea had so much depth that they judt completely took away. Who is this woman in sundresses and kitten heels thats literally not the bea from the book in any way!!!! and nora too is so much more. Rounded. in the book

and they took away rafael luna (first gay hispanic senator in the book) and kindof gave most of his role in the first act to miguel. and the choice to make MIGUEL the person that (is implied to have) leaked the emails is. hoenstly it left a horrible taste in my mouth. the jealous gay hispanic guy outed him? really? when in the book it was the republican who was running against his mother? you gave that role to MIGUEL INSTEAD? it really. really pissed me off like its a very very different story to the book while still being the same premise

and the book is a lot more explicitly anti monarchy too. i mean it isnt really. its bery bare bones what if the prince was sad bc the monarchy was bad :( but it IS 10x what the movie gave us. in the book they visited tipu's tiger in the v&a which is a tiger eating a european soldierband henry talks about how his mum used to say that the tuger was angry bc her great great great great grandfather stole the statue and she thinks they shld give it back but gran says they couldnt (the book has a queen instead ofna king). and like. when i read it i was like yeah this is bare minimum anti monarchy at the end if the day it was nothing revolutionary. but. the film. man. it gave NOTHING.

man i am so sorry i didnt mean to write so much it got away from me. but. yeah. very dissappointing movie

i’m glad you can shed a bit more light on the discrepancies and issues book to film because i haven’t read the book so obviously i’m a bit ill-informed in that respect! it sounds like the book (as usual with adaptations sadly) had a lot more depth and was a lot more fleshed out, i definitely would’ve liked to see more depth in many of the female characters!

i’m now so mad that they cut what seems like a very important character (rafael luna) for the ‘i don’t like this person so i’ll out them’ trope :(

also, as a brit who is incredibly anti-monarchy (which i do understand may bias me a bit) i feel like they verrry much played it safe in the representation of the british monarchy in the film and it sounds like the author went in a bit more on it in the book?? i really despise the monarchy for many reasons so i think most depictions of the monarchy will fall short for me though to be honest.

all in all, sounds like the book is much better so maybe i just went wrong in terms of watching the movie before reading the book (a fatal mistake 😖)

p.s. i love getting an in-depth ask to my inbox, please don’t apologise for your passion and feelings about something! x

[my-head-is-an-animal]

The Sitter

Mycroft Holmes x Bethany Wheeler (OFC)

Story Masterlist

Chapter 20 -  The Final Problem: Part 2

Mycroft just watched with John and Bethany, unsure of how to help. Eventually Sherlock just sat against the wall and took a moment to calm down. John slowly approached him and picked up the gun from the floor.

‘Look, I know this is difficult and I know you’re being tortured.’ John started. ‘But you have got to keep it together.’

‘This isn’t torture,’ Sherlock said quietly. ‘This is vivisection. We’re experiencing science from the perspective of a lab rats.’ Sherlock leaned his head back and looked to where Bethany and Mycroft were standing, waiting. ‘Soldiers.’

‘Soldiers.’ John nodded. He helped Sherlock to his feet and they both breathed a little deeper and steadier before continuing on.

‘Hey sis, don’t mean to complain, but this one’s empty.’ Sherlock tried to make a joke to keep things lighter, but Mycroft had already begun to work out what might happen next. ‘What happened? Did you run out of ideas?

‘It’s not empty Sherlock, you’ve still got the gun, haven’t you?’ Eurus chirped, happily. ‘I told you you’d need it because only three can play the next game. Just three of you go on from here. Your choice. It’s make your mind up time. Who’s help do you need the most? Beth, John or Mycroft. It’s an elimination round. You choose two and kill the other. You have to choose family or friend. Beth, Mycroft or John Watson.’

‘Eurus enough!’ Mycroft stepped forward, trying anything to make her stop.

‘Not yet, I think, but nearly.’ She said. ‘Remember there’s a plane in the sky and it’s not going to land.’ He caught the glance from Sherlock to Bethany, acknowledgment of the secret she was still carrying.

Mycroft sucked in a deep breath, he knew what needed to be done. He needed to make sure Bethany had the best chance to escape, he remembered her reaction to Mary dying, it would be difficult for her for a while, but with the help of John and Sherlock she would pull through. She was destined to climb mountains, swim the oceans, discover the world and fall in love with it. Mycroft's job, now, was to do everything he could to ensure that happened. ‘Well?’ He said, summoning all the courage Bethany had ever given him and more.

‘Well, what?’

‘We’re not actually going to discus this are we?’ He turned to John. ‘I’m sorry Dr Watson, you’re a fine man in many respects. Make your goodbyes and shoot him.’ Mycroft went to turn away, catching the hesitation in Sherlock’s eye. ‘Shoot him.’ He said more firmly.

‘What?’ John stepped forward, not quite believing what Mycroft was saying.

‘Shoot Dr Watson.’ Mycroft frowned. ‘There’s no questioning who needs to continue on from here, it’s us. You, Bethany and me. Whatever lies ahead requires brain power, Sherlock. Not sentiment. Don’t prolong his agony. Shoot him.’

‘Do I get a say in this?’ John was scared that much was clear.

‘Today we are soldiers. Soldiers die for their country. I regret, Dr Watson, that privilege is now yours.’

‘Shit, he’s right.’ John turned to Sherlock, surprising him. ‘He is in fact right.’

‘Make it swift. No need to prolong his agony. Get it over with and we can get to work.’ Mycroft held his head up and waited. He chuckled watching Sherlock struggle. ‘God. I should have expected this. Pathetic. You always were the slow one. The idiot. That’s why I’ve always despised you. You shame us all. You shame the family name. Now for once in your life, do the right thing. Put this stupid little man out of all our misery. Shoot him!’

‘Stop it.’ Sherlock told him, quietly.

‘Look at him. What is he? Nothing more than a distraction, a little scrap of ordinariness for you to impress, to dazzle with your cleverness. You’ll find another.’

‘Please for God’s sake just stop it.’

‘Why?’

‘Because, on balance, even your Lady Bracknell was more convincing.’ Sherlock sighed, taking Mycroft by a small surprise that he could see through him so easily. ‘Ignore everything he just said, he’s just being kind. He’s just trying to make it easy for me to kill him. Which is why this is going to be so much harder.’ Sherlock turned towards Mycroft, but he didn’t raise the gun just yet.

‘You said you liked my Lady Bracknell.’ Mycroft smiled, knowing he was doing the right thing.

‘Sherlock, don’t.’ John suddenly begged.

‘It’s not your decision, Dr Watson.’ Mycroft told him. ‘Not in the face though, please. I promised my brain to the Royal society.’

‘Where would you suggest?’ Sherlock asked, still not having raised the gun just yet.

‘Well,’ Mycroft sighed, buttoning up his shirt collar and tie. ‘I suppose there is a heart somewhere inside me. I don’t imagine it’s much of a target, but why don’t we try for that? This is all my fault. I did this and I’m sorry.’ He turned to Sherlock and John. ‘Moriarty.’ Suddenly the fact that this was all because of him became reality and he just couldn’t lose Bethany like this, he needed to try and save her.

‘Moriarty?’ Sherlock frowned.

‘Her Christmas treat. Five minutes conversation with Jim Moriarty five years ago.’

‘What did they discuss?’

‘Five minutes conversation… unsupervised.’

Eurus echoed throughout the chamber. ‘Jim Moriarty thought you’d make this choice. He was so excited.’

Moriarty’s face suddenly appeared on all screens. ‘And here we are, the end of the line, Holmes killing Holmes. This is where I get off.’

‘Shoot you in the heart, very poetic. But your heart doesn’t belong to you.’ Sherlock said, gently. ‘Which is why this is going be so difficult.’ Sherlock raised the gun and finally pointed it between where John and Mycroft were standing.

Mycroft turned to see that Bethany was remarkably calm, her eyes were red, but she didn’t look scared, just… accepting.

‘How long have you known?’ Sherlock asked.

‘That one of us was going to die?’ She said pushing herself off from the wall and stepping into the light. ‘Since the Governor. One bullet and she wasn’t going to make you kill anyone unimportant. That left few alternatives.’

Mycroft stepped in front of Bethany. ‘Sherlock, you can’t do this.’

‘Mycroft.’ Her soft voice would always penetrate him in the exact way he couldn’t say no to. ‘One of us will die. Better me than anyone who really matters.’

He slowly turned to face her, still unable to say the words he wanted her to hear.

‘You matter.’ Sherlock said, still point the gun at her.

‘Yes,’ she smiled. ‘But right now, a choice needs to be made. In this room, all I am… is Rosie’s babysitter. I’m not your brother and I’m not your best friend. The choice is clear.’

‘Crystal.’ Sherlock agreed.

‘Good.’ Bethany nodded, her hands were shaking slightly, eyes starting to water and Mycroft's world was closing in. ‘I haven’t promised my brain to anyone, so at least you can make it quick for me.’

‘Beth, you can’t.’ John breathed, his tears making his voice disappear. ‘You just… what about Rosie?’

‘She’s got plenty of people around her to love her.’ Bethany smiled again, it still wasn’t that radiant smile that made her exceptionally beautiful, but it was enough for Mycroft. ‘Just make sure she doesn’t take any crap from the Holmes boys and she’ll have done us all proud… erm, I’ve never been shot before, is this a good place to stand?’

It seemed like such an innocent question. ‘I can’t let you do this.’ Mycroft hadn’t realised his own tears were building.

‘You never let me do a damn thing,’ she tried to joke. ‘Big anarchist, remember?’ It made him chuckle a little, remembering the first time she ever said that to him. He felt his chest caving in.

‘Is that all you want to say?’ Sherlock asked gently. Bethany frowned, but clearly knew what he was talking about. ‘This is your last chance to tell him how you feel, Beth.’

She looked up through her long lashes and there was such a sadness to her dark eyes, it threatened to destroy Mycroft. ‘Tell me something, what would be the point?’ She asked, plainly. ‘If I say it and he doesn’t say it back, I will die heartbroken,’ her voice cracked at the end, so the last word was barely audible. ‘But if I say it and he does say it back, he’s either lying and I will be able to tell from the pitch of his voice, or he’s telling the truth and all I will think on is moments of happiness that were never lived.’ Her hand automatically went to her chest and the silver chain was suddenly visible. She still wore the necklace he gave her.

Mycroft reached inside his pocket and lifted out the antique pocket watch. Her breath hitched as she saw it. ‘It’s the only one I wear.’ Mycroft admitted. ‘The only time I care about is yours.’ Bethany physically felt his words and he knew they hurt. ‘If you won’t say it for fear of pain, don’t deny me the opportunity to tell you how…’ Mycroft’s words got caught in his throat, he’d never said it before, never found anyone worth saying it to. ‘I fell in love with you.’

‘Oh God no!’ She cried, holding her head in her hands and feeling the agony in her chest. ‘Please don’t do this, Mycroft.’

Mycroft looked to John. ‘Don’t stop, she needs to hear it.’ Sherlock said behind him.

‘You’re here because you’re kind, Bethany.’ He continued, swallowing the hard lump in his throat. ‘Because you’re unimaginably and unconditionally kind and you don’t deserve a man like me. I know I disappointed you, I wasn’t observant enough or brave enough to answer your questions, to give you what you wanted, but please know that I never didn’t answer because I wasn’t completely and entirely in love with you. The exact opposite, in fact.’

Bethany sobbed hard, holding her stomach and trying to keep her bravery, but it was failing her.

‘I should have told you,’ Mycroft confessed. ‘I should have held you when you needed me to, I wanted to.’

‘Why didn’t you?’ She asked.

‘I don’t know.’ He shrugged. ‘Something about keeping your dignity.’

It wasn’t so much a laugh, but a breath of relief that it wasn’t anything worse. Bethany took a deep breath and tried so hard to be brave. She nodded.

‘Will you call my parents?’ She asked. ‘They’re in Bolivia, they should hear it from you.’

‘Of course.’ Mycroft nodded.

‘Good, tell them I love them… and there’s a lady that lives three doors up from me,’ she wiped her face of tears. ‘We all take turns helping out, doing her shopping, cleaning, that sort of thing… she hasn’t got any family and she needs a carer. She just needs some help.’

‘She’ll get it.’ Mycroft promised. Anything she wanted, she could have it, if that was what she really wanted, then Mycroft would see it happen. ‘I promise she will get everything she needs, I’ll make sure of it.’

Bethany bit her lip and shook her head. ‘You’re not a resource, Mycroft.’ She said, confusing him for a moment. ‘You’re a person and I… I fell in love with you as well.’

Mycroft tore his gaze away, but forced himself back, anything to memorise her face once more, how beautiful and radiant and stunning she was. Bethany Wheeler was a beauty for the ages and no one could say otherwise.

‘Make it quick, Sherlock please. I don't want to feel like this anymore.’ She said, wiping her eyes again and looking up bravely at Sherlock. But suddenly her face began to drop. ‘You bastard.’ She said. Mycroft looked to Sherlock for an explanation.

‘For future reference John,’ he started smiling. ‘The way to get Beth to admit to anything is to put a gun on her.’ John gave a small, amused chuckle. ‘You’ve already guessed what happens next, haven’t you Beth?’

‘Sherlock, don’t.’ She warned.

‘Five minutes.’ He growled. ‘It took her just five minutes to do all of this to us.’

‘Sherlock.’ Bethany stepped forward. ‘Don’t do this.’

‘What?’ John asked, confused.

‘Well, not on my watch.’ Sherlock lowered the gun.

‘Sherlock what are you doing?’ Eurus asked curiously.

‘A moment ago, a brave man asked to be remembered. ‘I’m remembering the Governor.’ Sherlock placed the gun beneath his own chin and began a countdown of his own. ‘Ten…’

‘No, no Sherlock.’ Eurus was now starting to panic.

‘Nine… eight…’

‘You can’t.’

‘Seven…’

‘You don’t know about Redbeard yet.’

‘Six…

‘Sherlock!’

‘Five…

‘Sherlock, stop this at once!’

‘Four…’

Mycroft felt something sharp hit the back of his neck and just as he did, darkness took over.

If you liked this, please consider supporting me ☕ thanks for reading!

[ariesvenusxx]

On Motherhood and Loneliness

I feel empty and mostly lonely. Motherhood is supposed to give me purpose, but it feels like I am either stuck or entering an unfamiliar place, only met with similar faces right after bearing a child.

Building a family should have made me hopeful and full of joy. I was excited to rebuild my life and to look forward to what's in store for me. But why does it feel like I am being punished for existing and for having the things I have now? It is hard to exist in a world where you are not really welcomed. People are just, by default, cruel to mothers. I cannot fathom how mothers power on through life being constantly berated for their bodies and choices. I feel like I cannot win this motherhood war--a war that I didn't even wish to fight--yet here I am.

I despise the fact that everything is predictable but me. My postpartum hormones are raging; even I had to tread carefully; even I had to protect myself from me. I envy my partner for the respect he got since he became a father. It was as if he was pedestalled just by staying with me--us. I thought to myself "life would be so much better if I had the respect and recognition by just existing and doing the bare minimum." Don't get me wrong, he is a good partner to me and a good father to my daughter, but I wish I didn't have to exert twice the effort to please myself and the people around me. I hate the fact that I have been so dependent on him; I feel like a broken limb that he can take out any time he wants without being reprimanded.

I feel as if I'm melting away, becoming this monstrous, crazy, paranoid woman that I never thought I'd be. I hate that I require so much attention and compassion from the world as if it owes me anything. I hate that I feel things more deeply now and knowing very well that some battles are best well kept; fought violently, but silently.

Ever since the baby, I feel like an afterthought. It feels as if I exist only for my family, and if I don't please them enough, they would get rid of me.

I hate talking about my feelings only for it to be invalidated with positivity, or worse, straight out negation. People say I shouldn't feel this way, but I feel this way, and all of them, even I, can't do anything about it.

I am left mostly to my thoughts as I have a lot of time swinging from neurosis to liberosis. I'm surprised by the ability of others to not think, listen, and entertain other people. On worse days, I envy the selfishness.

It's as if I cannot celebrate my wins, because in the eyes of many, it is not winning at all. There is always something to be said about mothers. People talk, and usually they talk about how unpretty and rash you are as a mother despite the expectations of keeping your body, mind, career, and family together.

There are days that I feel hopelessly defeated by it all, swamped up by hate towards the society, like a teenager dreading their room. There are days when I fantasize about the opportunities I once had, or could have, had I not been a mother in this kind of world where mothers can't win.

I feel incapable and inadequate, yet very needed all the time. No amount of love I can receive can erase the fact that I lost myself, the self that I had built over the years, just gone in the process of becoming a mother. It wasn't just the personal and financial freedom that I had to sacrifice; I had to sacrifice what's left of my sanity.

I am tired being defined by my emotions, body, and pain. How can such society ask so much of mothers while, at the same time, pinning them down? I feel sad for the silent mothers for I know that there is no getting used to disrespect. I feel bad for the loud and proud ones for they have to carry the weight of judgments for the mothers who are reluctant to be seen because they don't want to be condemned.

And if you're still reading, and if you're wise, you must know that I do not regret being a mother. What I do not want is being a mother in this kind of society run by a system that is rigged.

[abhorsenslives]

"It is his duty to care for your family, so it’s not surprising that he worries whenever any of you are injured. Even a seemingly minor cut, if the blade is poisoned, could still prove deadly." Agnes’ words hinted at an understanding that seemed unusual for someone of her status. Why would a noble lady like Agnes Alder think of poisoned blades? Perhaps the war had hardened her, as her father, Johan, often shared every grim detail of the battles and betrayals he witnessed. Yet, despite her exposure to such brutal realities, Agnes had never been allowed to directly engage in those discussions or influence their course. Johan, no matter how ruthless a father he was, would never permit harm to come to his family.

Her gaze drifted toward the storm outside, where heavy raindrops lashed against the tall windows. The hour was late, and she knew her father would soon begin asking about her whereabouts. He despised not having full control over his family, especially now that he had secured her future with the Prince Regent. Though he was delighted by the arrangement, he would not be pleased to hear of how much time she and Aemond spent alone together. Any hint of impropriety could stain her reputation, something Johan would not tolerate.

"I must go for now," she said quietly. "I need to fetch the materials I need from my chambers..." Agnes had already crafted the lie she would tell her father, a half-truth to satisfy his questions. Once he was appeased, she would return to Aemond’s side, just as she intended.

At his praise to her gift to healing others, she gave a halfhearted laugh."My skills pale in comparison to Ida's. She’s Alexander’s wet nurse, and the one who taught me everything I know." For a fleeting moment, her voice carried a note of sorrow, as if mourning something lost. She withdrew her hand as Aemond drew closer, just in time to see him reach out to gently brush a strand of her hair back into place.

It wasn’t that Agnes didn’t want to believe him. His blue eye held a certain honesty, and for brief moments, it almost convinced her that he was not the heartless man others saw, but someone who would do anything to protect his house. They shared that trait, she realized—perhaps she simply hadn’t been faced with the kind of choices he had. Perhaps, when her time came, she would make the same decisions, if not worse.

An impulse stirred within her: the urge to take his hand, to lean into his touch. The longer she spent in his presence, the more drawn to him she became. It should have been comforting, a reason to feel secure in their impending marriage, but instead, it unsettled her. "I believe in reciprocity," she said softly. "I give what I am given. You have treated me with respect so far, and so you have mine." And she knew that the more Aemond shed the armor of his cold facade, revealing the man beneath, the closer he would draw her to him.

A loud crack of thunder shattered the moment, startling her. She instinctively stepped back, increasing the distance between them. "It’s late, and I may be gone for a while. But if you’re willing to wait, I’ll return tonight to tend to your wound." It was his choice whether to have her by his side again in a few moments or to wait until morning. "But I'll understand if you’re exhausted and wish to rest. I don’t intend to impose myself on you."

" It is only natural for you to worry, " he began softly, his voice carrying both reassurance and an underlying strength. " In these times, caution is a luxury few can afford, yet concern is a gift freely given. "

His gaze drifted to her outstretched hand, hovering just above the wound on his forearm, a thin line where the blade had kissed his skin during the earlier skirmish. Blood had dried around the edges, a dark contrast against his pale complexion. He made no move to pull away; instead, he seemed almost intrigued by her hesitation.

" Maester Orwyle frets over every scrape as though the realm hangs in the balance, " he remarked with a faint smirk. " But his remedies lack a certain...personal touch. "

The air in the chamber thickened as he stepped closer, the soft rustle of his black tunic mingling with the faint whisper of her breath. The stone walls, adorned with ancient tapestries and iron sconces, seemed to absorb the weight of his words, holding onto the moment as though it were fragile. Outside, the wind howled through the battlements, its eerie song weaving through the castle's corridors like a reminder of the wild, untamed world beyond.

" Your skills in healing are known to me, " he continued, a flicker of genuine admiration in his tone. " I have not forgotten how you tended to my niece. Your hands brought her comfort when others could not. "

He raised his arm, the gesture almost ceremonial, an offering of trust. The scent of leather and dragonfire clung to him, carrying with it the echoes of battle and the weight of his lineage. " If it eases your mind, I would prefer your care over that of any maester. "

A delicate pause hung between them, the room falling into a stillness that was anything but empty. Instead of shadows, the shifting light caught in the polished surfaces, armour, goblets, the gold detailing on the carved wooden furniture, casting soft reflections, subtle glimmers of light that wove into the heavy atmosphere like a thread of uncertainty.

" As for the path I walk, " he continued, his tone darker now, more reflective. " The responsibilities I bear are not gentle ones. The realm is fraught with treachery and dissent. Strength is the only language understood by all. "

His words settled in the space between them, weighty and inevitable, like the fates that had led them both here. He searched her eyes, a fleeting vulnerability breaking through his hardened facade. " I do what is necessary to protect our future, to ensure the legacy of our houses endures. It is a burden I do not take lightly. "

Reaching out, he brushed a loose strand of her dark hair behind her ear, his touch betraying an intimacy he rarely allowed himself. " I would never wish for fear to dwell in your heart because of me. Trust that my actions, harsh as they may seem, are driven by duty. "

The wind outside battered the heavy shutters, a gust shaking the windows in their frames. It was as though the storm mirrored the tumult of their conversation, the intensity of the elements a reflection of the hidden turmoil beneath Aemond's calm exterior.

" Perhaps, in time, " he added, his voice softening. " You will see that beneath the armour and the titles lies a man who seeks not only to command respect but also to earn yours. "

He withdrew his hand slowly, his presence lingering around her like the slow burn of a distant flame. The flicker of vulnerability he'd revealed left an indelible mark on the air between them, one that neither the storm nor the cold stone walls could dispel.

" Now, " he said, his lips curving slightly into a smile. " Shall we see to this wound? In your care, even the deepest cuts seem to mend more swiftly. "

Though his words were calm, a current of something deeper, perhaps trust, perhaps an unspoken plea for understanding, ran beneath them. The unyielding walls of the castle seemed to close in just a little, as if even they were listening, knowing that their shared future held both promise and peril.