#i respect people’s decision to write with whoever the heck they want

[venstm]

[dreamingaboutreid]

Hospital Bed Confessions: Chapter 7

*Continuation*

*Flash-forward*

Spencer was truly in awe. It had been 8 months since you joined the BAU.

Hotch seemed much happier with no more mountains of paperwork on his desk. All the files were neatly filed in Y/N’s office and his workload was greatly alleviated. He also had someone to confide to and understand a little bit of the pressure he had been experiencing.

Emily loved having a fellow Chesapeake Bay alumnus. With JJ being on mom-duty, Emily had a friend to go out with after she returned to the team, and they seemed to have plethora of things to talk about and relate to. He often heard them discussing their love of Kilgore Trout or favorite traveling destination.

Penelope was ecstatic to have another affectionate and loving member on the team. Y/N spent a lot of time with Garcia on deciding cases and it was evident how much they cherished each other. Y/N often brought in colorful collectibles and helped Penelope arrange them in her office.

Rossi respected Y/N’s focused yet good-natured character. They shared stories of their time in the military, which they rarely disclosed with the other members. He thought of Y/N as a daughter and took pleasure in sharing his knowledge of cars and whiskey.

JJ treated Y/N like a sister. It was obvious how similar they were. Both attentive and considerate with remarkable people skills. Y/N also became JJ’s go-to babysitter as JJ full heartedly trusted her with kids, which was a huge compliment coming from JJ.

Derek enjoyed Y/N’s company, who had a surprising knowledge of football, and would often make fun bets on what team would win the next game. He would also come to you for solid advice when he needed someone to level with him.

Not to mention, everyone was thrilled to go home at least an hour earlier normal, thanks to your fast but thorough write-ups you continued to do every day on behalf of the team.

For Spencer, you were a whole new world. He not only appreciated you as a hardworking member but as a new best friend.

You never interrupted him and seemed genuinely invested in whatever he said. Whether it was a new book he was reading or a new foreign film that came out. You truly made him feel heard and cared for. After he told you about Maeve, it felt like something was taken off his shoulder. Like you knew his pain and rather than only feeling sorry for him, they shared it together.

He also truly admired your ability to talk to people. Whether it was a serial killer who was holding a gun to someone’s head or a sobbing parent who had just lost a child or even an abrasive detective they had to work with, you just knew exactly what to say.

Spencer couldn’t place a flaw in you. The way you smiled, talked, listened, walked, ate, slept, heck everything, seemed so perfect to him.

When Blake came to his apartment to say her farewell, he was devastated. Another person was walking out of his life. But for the first time, he didn’t wallow up in his apartment by himself, blaming his eidetic memory for repeating all their conversations in his head or contemplating then shutting down his mental debate on taking dilaudid.

He didn’t hesitate to dial your number, and you appeared in front of his door in a matter of minutes. You had the ability to listen to his problems and somehow make them go away, or at least make him feel better.

While he always appreciated it, it bothered Spencer after a while how you never came to him when you wanted to feel better. You managed to carry all that weight without yourself ever breaking.

But he realized that it wasn’t anything personal. You just never showed much emotions to anyone, except for happy ones.

Spencer remembered when Derek asked you one day,

“How come you never come to us when you’re feeling down? There’s no way you’re always a ray of sunshine. Even baby girl has her emotional breakdowns.”

You had quickly brushed it off and said, “I’d rather make people smile than worry or cry.”

And it was the end of that.

Spencer often thought about this. Derek made a very good point. You were human after all.

But he knew that there was something much darker in you.

While you didn’t voice your emotions, your eyes told a different story.

When you were interrogating unsubs, your eyes became cold but your words remained calm and almost soothing, as if you were luring them out their lies to know their true intentions. When you were talking to victims or victims’ families, your eyes showed sympathy and it comforted whoever you were consoling when explaining that the unit was doing our best. And when you were talking to the ones you loved and cared about, you allowed your eyes to relax but there was a twinkle that he couldn’t keep his own eyes off of.

He hoped that you would open up to him, like he had to you.

But, it wasn’t too long until his wish was answered and he witnessed something that changed everything.

Y/N’s POV

You were exhausted.

It wasn’t the workload or rigor your job came with.

It was the emotional tole. You learned how to compartmentalize your feelings well from losing the ones you loved from experience.

But this job was different from talking to soldiers or serial killers. You were talking to normal people. You had unconsciously put your guard down and the emotions hit you little by little.

Every day, you walked in to deciding which cases to solve and you walked out hoping it was the right one to choose. The extra work you were doing actually helped keep your mind out of all the feelings and reality and helped focus your energy on something tangible.

You weren’t sure what came over you that day, but you had been on edge the whole jet ride back from a case. When everyone arrived back to the office, it wasn’t just you who was drained.

“Everyone go home early and get some ready. You deserve it. But report back tomorrow at 9 to finish your statements,” stated Hotch.

“I think I’ll stay back. Finish some of the paperwork,” you stated with a weak smile.

Hotch looked at you reluctantly.

“Are you sure? Everyone’s worn out. It’s okay to go,” Hotch said.

“It must be all the coffee,” you joked lamely, hoping Hotch took the excuse.

Hotch didn’t seem to notice as it was quite normal for you to stay late.

“Alright. Well, everyone thank Y/N on the way out and report back tomorrow at 10,” Hotch said as patted you on the back as he exited.

“Thanks for the extra hour of sleep,” Rossi stated as he walked towards the elevator.

“You’re an actual lifesaver,” Morgan commented.

As everyone said their respective greetings and left, you quickly ran up to JJ.

“Hey, JJ. Can I ask you a favor?” you asked.

“Of course! I owe you anyways,” JJ said.

“Do you mind if you give Spencer a ride home? Usually I take him, but I don’t want him to wait for me and he seems pretty tired,” you stated.

While you truly loved the arrangement you had with Spencer, you needed some space right now.

“Sounds like a plan. Just tell him I’ll be waiting in the car,” JJ said as she grabbed her belonging.

You thanked her and gave her a quick hug.

You turned and found Spencer already reading a book by his desk. Even though you thought Spencer always looked handsome, you had to admit that he did look tired.

“Hey, Spence. I think I’m going to stay a little late today.”

“Yeah, I heard you telling Hotch. I don’t mind waiting,” he said.

It must have been the pent up emotions you had been suppressing as you could feel your eyes slightly tearing up. You quickly forced them away, praying Spencer didn’t catch on. No matter how many times Spencer displayed his kindness and patience, you always appreciated his small acts of compassion.

“No, no. You must be exhausted. I asked JJ to take you home, and she’s waiting in her car for you. Seriously, get some rest,” you reassured Spencer.

After a bit of reluctancy, Spencer replied,

“Okay, I probably shouldn’t keep JJ waiting for too long. Thanks, Y/N. Don’t stay too late.”

You simply nodded and you watched Spencer walk away while looking back.

You waved, indicating that it was okay to leave.

After he finally left, it was just you, all alone. You turned off the lights in the pit, making it pitch dark, and walked into your office.

Closing your door and only turning on the light on your desk, you went to the corner of the room and sank down as you burst into tears.

It wasn’t the first time you had a breakdown. But it was always behind closed door. In the bathtub in your house. In the comfort of your bed. At the safety of your house. But today, you couldn’t hold it until you went home.

As you wept, you hoped the tears you released would somehow erase the remorse you felt. You sobbed without anything holding you back until you felt a looming presence over your crouched figure.

“Oh my gosh, Spencer. You startled me, I didn’t notice you were here,” you quickly said as you tried to wipe away the evidence of your momentary vulnerability. You didn’t need a mirror to know that it was an unsuccessful attempt.

“Sorry, I saw the light in your office and thought you’d be in here.”

“Did you forget something?” you asked, puzzled by his unexpected return.

“No, I just didn’t want you to be all alone so I told JJ that she could just go home,” Spencer said softly.

He continued, “I also saw you were a bit uneasy earlier.”

So Spencer hadnoticed.

“In fact, it seemed like you were stressed the whole day. Are you okay?” he asked.

You weren’t sure if it was the display of Spencer’s empathy again or the fact that he recognized something was bothering you when you were able to hide it from a group of profilers, but you felt the tears reappearing again and you didn’t want to hold back.

You broke into sobs for the second time that day and slowly slid back into the position you were originally in.

Spencer didn’t hesitate to join you as he sat and put a tight protective arm around you while he just let you cry.

“Am I making the right decisions? Who am I to choose who dies or lives? What if….” you trailed as you muffled all your worries into his chest.

For the first in a long time, you felt safe in the arms of someone else. You didn’t have to, or heck, want to hide yourself anymore. When Spencer held your hand, you knew.

You looked up to see the most understanding eyes, and you knew right then and there that you had found your person.

[thinkillwatchitburn]

Ogun from fire force x Black s/o (she/her) who is shy working out together

Omg that is so cute 🥺

I have to be honest, Ogun isn’t a character that I’m SUPER familiar with, but I really, really love his character (what I’ve absorbed of it, if that makes sense?). He’s so chill and understanding, I love that he sees the best in people - in a devil who NOBODY wanted to give a chance. He gave no second thought about it. He doesn’t GAF what ~anybody~ thinks, he’s gonna make his OWN decisions and fuck. That is so goddamn respectable. I also appreciate that his ancestors went and collected outliers and really brought everyone together. I really wish they’d gone more in depth with Ogun’s and his ancestors’ background - that would be a really cool side story. If anyone knows of any fanfics going that direction please let me know, I’d love to check ‘em out!

Anywho - I also want to point out that I’m not actually a Black woman myself, so I’m speaking as a Hispanic/white woman who is describing her interpretation based on her world experience? I really hope that makes sense, and I hope this is what you were looking for!!! 🥰❤️❤️)

So Ogun with a Black s/o (I’m gonna attempt gender neutral here just in case, but if you’d like specifically masculine or femme feel free to put in another request!!) who is shy working out together:

If s/o is very strong and self conscious about that:

I think Ogun would have such a huge appreciation for anyone who can match his strength and/or skill, but especially somebody who he can relate to on such a deeply cultural level. I feel confident Ogun is one of the very few darker-skinned characters, and it really seems like he’s kept at least some connection to his Black culture. He maintains his individuality, despite being surrounded by fairly cookie-cutter peers. He is SO geeked to have someone who can understand his unique experience.

Also he is honestly low-key impressed AS ACTUAL FUCK at your talents. He can sense you’re a little intimidated by his skill and you get a little flustered - which he thinks is cute as heck btw - but when the world melts away and you’re directly on top of your game - oh my god. He’s never seen anything that has given him the feelings you do in those moments. He’s used to the idea of feeling like he has to protect his comrades during battle - and don’t get confused, he has ALWAYS got his eyes on you during battle - he never feels like he needs to protect you. He’ll watch your back just in case, he really can’t help it, but he KNOWS how capable you are and has absolute faith that You. Got. This. Despite your reservations when you get stuck in your head, you are so unbelievably skilled and capable he would honestly ride with you any day. He comes to trust you as much as he trusts himself - that’s saying A LOT.

If his s/o isn’t *quite* as athletically inclined - still capable, but in more of a realistic way than the ~Godlike~mega~power~ way:

Ogun is SO geeked at the opportunity to work out with his bae and teach them a thing or two. He really is an excellent teacher, coaxing out all of the best in whoever he’s focused his attention on while not letting the worst affect the overall experience or his feelings about his student. He sees ALL of your potential and is truly adept at plotting out a realistic work-out plan to get you exactly where *YOU* want to be. Even if you’ve never exercised beyond power-walking to the register at your favorite market, he’s endlessly excited to help you get ~wherever~ it is you want to go. No matter what, he loves the shit out of you and your body and is so, so happy to offer his particular expertise in a way that you can appreciate.

He also understands when you start getting exhausted and frustrated and might get a little irritable - literally you can say just about anything to him and he isn’t offended. He’ll likely laugh it off (or whatever response is appropriate tbh, he’ll never make light if you’re truly upset), and let you know that if you feel you’ve reached your limit it’s okay, but if you can push yourself just a little more you should at least try. It’s really hard to hurt his feelings tbh, he’s so understanding.

Any and all progress he sees - and I promise you, he WILL see it ~all~ - he’s going to celebrate and encourage. And seeing you push your limits and boundaries, doing things you never even thought YOU could do (although he never doubted)??? He’s literally semi-erect with pride and awe. If he gets to see you ultimately aiding in battle and kicking some serious ass? He’s almost so distracted HE fucks up. He’s Ogun so of course he recovers with the smoothness, but he’ll never get that image of you out of his mind.

I hope you like it Anon! I’m still working on getting back into the groove of writing but if anyone has any constructive criticism, comments, or concerns I’m here and open to hearing anything you have to say!

[aspiring-ginger]

Thunderstorms Ch. 2 (Fellowship x Reader)

Summary: Reader gets the Fellowship ready for bed, how the heck is she going to have room for everyone?

Warnings: Language

Word count: 2,496

Pairing(s): Platonic Fellowship of the ring x fem!reader, eventual romantic interest (Lord of the Rings)

Who do you want Reader to end up with? Vote here!

A/N: This one was fun to write! Reader is going to have some nice moments with each member of the Fellowship before the final romantic pairing is decided, so this chapter has a bit of Legolas! I am keeping a tally of who you guys want the reader to end up with, so go ahead and put your votes in lol 

Comments and feedback are always appreciated! Let me know if you want more!

Taglist: @thunderdog8​ @kathieycarrerarosshley​ @sleep-deprived-things​ @nabercnm​ @agenerallynicegirl @sammy201d​ @thefoxskinwalker​ @minimxno​ 

(If your name has a strike-through in it, I couldn’t tag you! Let me know if I spelled anything wrong, or check your settings so I can tag you in future parts!)

Masterlist I Previous 

You left the fellowship standing around your kitchen table while you went looking for candles and flashlights. It did cross your mind that the majority of the fellowship wasn’t even human so they might be able to see better in the dark, but you needed the light and using just your phone wasn’t going to cut it. It was probably for the best that you needed to grab these anyway, so you could use this time to process what the actual fuck was going on. 

No matter how many times you pinched yourself, the fellowship was still standing in your kitchen. It was fucking bonkers and you knew it. Hopefully you would be able to put them all to bed quickly so you could sleep and when you woke up it was all a dream and there weren’t eight strange men in your house. God, you hoped it really was a dream. 

You managed to find a few scented candles that you currently balanced in your arms as you returned to the kitchen. The hobbits were still seated at the table, busy whispering to each other with wide eyes. Aragorn and Legolas seemed to be discussing something in Elvish. They both seemed tense so it could actually be an argument, but honestly you had no idea. Boromir saw you struggling with the candles, so he strode over and took several from your hands. You tried to protest but he simply waved it off saying it was the least he could do for your generous hospitality. He helped you spread the candles throughout your house and watched curiously as you lit them using a lighter. You caught the hobbits’ attention as well when you put the last candle down in the middle of the table. 

“What’s that, there? You tryn’ to use some sort of a weapon on us?” Sam asked, eyeing the lighter in your hands.

You shook your head. “No, no. I’m just lighting the candle, see?” You clicked the lighter so the small flame would come out of the tip, then lit the candle.

“Is that some sort of magic?” Pippin asked.

“Why are you lighting the candles now? Don’t you have any torches or candles already lit?” Merry chimed in.

You handed the lighter over to Pippin so he could get a closer look. Wait shit, was that really the best idea to give it to him, of all people? Well, it was too late now as he was already twirling it around in his hands and fiddling with the trigger to try and light it. It was only a tiny lighter anyway, it wasn’t like he could actually set anything on fire….you hoped.

“Hm? Oh, it’s dark because the power’s out.” Merry gave you a blank stare so you clarified, “Our lights run on electricity, not fire. The storm must’ve hit a generator or something, so the power’s not on. I can’t turn any lights on without it.”

“Does this normally happen, lass?” Gimli piped up from his spot in the corner.

“No, we haven’t had a storm this bad in a long time, and if the power ever does go out it’s usually only for a couple seconds.”

“Well, the candles smell wonderful.” Boromir added with a smile. You smiled back and excused yourself to get them towels. Seriously, they were making puddles on your floor. You saw the lights flicker back on in your office as you grabbed them. At least that was one less thing to worry about.

“Alright, the power’s back on now, but I’m not gonna turn on a ton of lights because it’s late and it’ll be bright.” You explained as you handed out the towels. 

Tackling one problem at a time- the power was back on, and the fellowship was drying off. Now you had to figure out where everyone could sleep. This was going to be a real challenge. Two could fit in your parent’s bed, two in the guest bed. One on the loveseat, and either one or two on the couch. You had a small pullout couch underneath your loft bed you had since childhood, but that would mean one of them would have to sleep with you in your room. That might not sit well with them wanting to preserve your honor and hospitality. They had their sleeping packs with them and you had a sleeping bag as well, but you didn’t want them to have to sleep on the floor. Especially since you had no idea how long they would be staying and they’d been on the road for so long it felt wrong to make one of them sleep on the floor. You supposed you could clean off the couch that was downstairs in the family room, but it was sort of dirty. Sighing, you explained this to them, which they all assured you it would be no problem should some of them need their bedrolls. 

“I’ll give you a tour of the house, and then you all can decide where you want to sleep.” They all nodded in agreement. “So, you’re standing in my kitchen. Do you have any questions?” You asked as you flipped on the light.

“Will you show us how to use your equipment?” Sam asked, “We’d hate to have you cooking all by yourself. And I’d like to learn to help, if I could.”

“Sure, but we can worry about that in the morning. I think we could all use some sleep first.”

You led them throughout your house turning the lights on as you went. They didn’t have any questions, but you figured that all this was overwhelming so you didn’t launch into any explanations unprompted. 

After some discussion among themselves they came to a decision- Frodo and Sam would sleep in the guest bed downstairs, Aragorn on the couch also downstairs (he wanted to stay close to Frodo in case anything happened), Gimli took the loveseat and Boromir the couch in the living room. Merry and Pippin would sleep in your parents’ bed upstairs. Legolas insisted he lay out his bedroll down with Gimli and Boromir, he refused to sleep in your room.

“Please, Legolas. You’ve been through so much, just take the pull out couch,” you pleaded, “We wouldn’t be sleeping in the same bed or anything. I promise, it’s fine.”

“No, I could not. Elves do not sleep the way Men do, you need not worry. I will be alright.” 

“If you don’t need as much sleep as humans, then it would be alright if you slept on the couch! We wouldn’t disturb each other, and you don’t have to stay in there once you wake up. I just want you all to be comfortable. Please, it’s the least I could do.”

“Would it not be improper, my lady? What would your husband think?” Boromir cut in.

“What? No no, I’m not married. Nooo way. It’s just me in the house, my parents are out of town and won’t be home for a long time. Besides this is a...weird situation, but you’re my guests so everything here is yours. I would give up my bed if I needed to, but I have a feeling you guys wouldn’t like that.” They shook their heads. “There’s nothing wrong with a friend sleeping in the same room and hey it’s 2020 so it doesn’t matter what gender. At least for tonight. If you want to move tomorrow I promise I won’t be offended.” You offered a final plea. 

Legolas caved. “As long as it is what the Lady wishes.”

You held up your hand “Okay let me just get this straight- I’m not a lady. Just call me (Y/n), I don’t have a title. I’m not nobility or super rich or anything so you’re not offending my honor or whatever by calling me by my name.”

They nodded in response, but you weren’t sure if they would actually listen.

“Okay, you all can start setting up your stuff and getting ready for bed. I’ll bring pillows and blankets, and I can dry any of your clothes. I’ll get you all some stuff you can wear tomorrow.” 

You set everything up, the fellowship trailing behind you until their respective ‘beds’ were made. Just Legolas was left, so you told him to get ready however he needed and you would change in the bathroom. Oh shit. The bathroom. You would have to explain that to them. You called them back upstairs and quickly gave them a run down of the bathroom, water in the kitchen should they need it, and whoever was the first to wake would come wake you up as well. Racking your brain, there wasn’t anything else you could think of.

You set up the couch for Legolas, then climbed up into your bed. You weren’t sure if you should say goodnight. Honestly, why did you push so hard to have this elf sleeping in your goddamn room? You laid there contemplating if you really should say something, if it would be more awkward to say something or not say anything at all, it was taking too long to decide so if you spoke up now it might be weird-

“Thank you for the bed. Sleep well, (Y/n).” Legolas softly called up to you, breaking you out of your thoughts.

“It’s really no problem. Goodnight.”

You rolled over and tried to sleep. Minutes ticked by but you just could not fall asleep. Your thoughts were racing far too quickly. What if you said something while you were sleeping? Moved around too much? Made too much noise? Oh god, what if you farted? Why, why, why did you push so hard for him to stay with you? There was an elven prince sleeping underneath you. A real, actual elven prince. You flopped around in your bed to try and get a more comfortable position. Every time you did, you paused and winced realizing that your huffing and rustling around could keep Legolas up, too. Seriously, why did you think this was a good idea? By the time you finally began to drift off, you had no idea if Legolas was actually asleep. He hadn’t made a single sound since he bid you goodnight. Well, you could just apologize tomorrow for keeping him up.

---

You woke the next morning to a soothing voice calling your name. You groaned as you looked around, who would be waking you up this early? Rolling over, your eyes met with soft blue ones. Oh. Legolas was still here, in your bedroom. It wasn’t a dream after all.

“Ah, good morning, (Y/n). I believe I heard some of my friends beginning to stir downstairs. I woke you so you might have time to dress before the hobbits bust down your door,” he chuckled, “They can get quite hungry in the morning, and I’m sure seeing a fully equipped kitchen has only made their hunger worse.”

“Oh, thank you.” You instinctively pulled your blanket closer to your chest. “Did you sleep alright last night? I’m sorry if I kept you up.”

Legolas’s laughter was bright and clear. “You needn’t worry. The dwarf snores far louder than your tossing and turning. I was still able to dream. If you like, I shall step out into the hall so you may prepare for the day in private.”

You hummed in thought. If the fellowship really was stuck with you now, they would eventually see you in your pajamas. It might be better if it was sooner than later so they could get used to it.

“Oh no, it’s alright. I’ll just use the bathroom, you don’t have to leave.” You climbed down your ladder and scooped up a bra and a brush, sticking them under your arm in an attempt to hide the fact you were carrying your undergarments. 

You went through your usual morning routine, double checking to put on deodorant and a little perfume. The non-humans had sharper senses right? You didn’t want to smell bad, ugh that would be embarrassing. As you exited the bathroom you heard loud snoring from downstairs. That must’ve been what Legolas was talking about. When you came back into your room, you found Legolas examining your things. His attention seemed to be on your bookshelf.

He had taken off his outer tunic and bracers leaving just his blue undershirt and trousers. His boots and socks were neatly placed beside the end table next to the couch. His weapons leaned against it as well, the string removed from his bow.

“Would you like some tea or coffee? Wait, do you guys even have coffee?”

“Coffee is not a common drink with the elves, but the halflings might enjoy it. Everyone enjoys tea.” 

“Cool. You can pick out what kind.”

Legolas followed you downstairs and into the kitchen. It was still early, the sun was barely poking over the tops of the trees. Gimli and Boromir were still asleep and Aragorn appeared to be waking up. There was no sign of the hobbits just yet. You pulled out your rather large selection of tea for Legolas to look through while you started on breakfast. Who doesn’t like waking up to the smell of food, right?

You didn’t have that much in your fridge so nothing too fancy, but you did have eggs and bacon. You took what little vegetables you had left and added it to the scrambled eggs- a few mushrooms, some spinach, a little onion, and some cheese. You put some bread in the toaster for good measure. Aragorn came up to join you, taking a seat across from Legolas. He launched into a conversation with him in elvish after saying good morning. Eventually, Legolas handed you a box of regular green tea and you put the kettle on. 

The others began to shuffle into the kitchen when breakfast was closer to being ready. Aragorn, Boromir, and Legolas all offered to help, so you put them to work setting the dining room table and bringing kitchen chairs in to make room for everyone. You were quite pleased with what you were able to come up with, but now you definitely had to go to the store. Which meant leaving them home alone. Maaaybe not such a great idea. 

The hobbits seemed particularly happy with what you made, the mushrooms especially. Everyone happily sipped their tea and enjoyed their meals, making light conversation. Legolas and Aragorn were speaking to each other in elvish again, much to your annoyance, while Merry and Pippin described the dreams they had that night. Boromir and Gimli laughed on and added their dreams for good measure. It was easy to see how well everyone got along with each other, and the hobbits were kind enough to bring you into the discussion as well. This isn’t exactly how you thought your spring was going to go, but it sure was going to be lots of fun.

Taglist is open!

[mangobone]

I just watched ep 13 and I’m stunned! Finally, the fog is clearing away and the information shown in the earlier slower episodes is paying off! This time is the Seo’s case thats finally coming to light along with some other things.

This is going to be a long post so go get some water and a snack if you’re willing to read and share your thoughts!

Also, If you haven’t watch the ep, please wait until you do before you read this. You’ve come this far, it’d be worth it:

-I don’t want to rewatch any of the earlier episodes until this season is done, so the Park Gwan-Su case with Hanjo, Choi Bit and Woo Tae-Ha is a little muddle for me so I’d give it a pass, just to say that I loved the acknowledgement to the late Chang-Joon and his incredible efforts, that still ripple through various people. He truly was incredibly smart in that aspect; however it didn’t stop him from turning into the mastermind of 2 serious crimes so I’d love to know how Si-Mok feels about him, 3 years after the whole ordeal.

-The Seo Dong Jae case OH! MY! GOD! (I’m turning into Janice from Friends, sorry) I wasn’t expecting that, but I do remember seeing the young man in the beach and thinking there was something off with him when he was being question by the police and he looked like a deer in theheadlights when he saw Si-Mok; however with the onslaught of information from the rest of the cases and the fact that he was a sort of “victim” from the couple that burndt the restriction line, I completely removed him from my possible culprits mental list. I was shocked today tbh. And I suppose Chief Kim has something to do either with him or the fake witness, that much is clear, but I won’t speculate too much there.

-The scene with Kim...JESUS. Hwang nerves of steel Si-Mok! He truly gave absolutely NOTHING away as he kept apologizing while looking at Kim straight in the eye and wasn’t that INTENSE?!!; I was repressing a scream throughout the whole scene. Btw whats with the forgotten garage control? I wonder if that’ll be significant.

- I really hope Kang Won-Chul won’t get too damaged when the shit hits the fan, with the whole Hanjo business and the war between the Lee’s. I’m also interested to know who was Park Gwang-Su’s younger brother.

My guess is that Si-Mok will have to make a decision between helping Kang Won Chul and following his strict moral code in the end. It’ll hurt whatever the decision, as can see that the appreciation between those two is sincere.

-I hate Oh Ju-Seon. So. Fucking. Much.

-The Eun Soo reference? Jeeeeez that was painful (great scene between CSW and Bae Doona btw) I think self-reproach, guilt and regret are Si-Mok’s kriptonites, as we can see since the Tongyong “incident”, and the fact that the “surviving” student is the abductor will only worsen the feeling for sure as he didn’t suspect him from the beginning. (I have a theory about this but it’ll be way below.

-NOW the scene between Yeo-Jin and Choi Bit? (Aside from the horrendous product placement) Well, Choi is holding back nothing eh? But I like that she doesn’t really tease her, she just asks honest questions (though a bit out of place, IMO) says what she feels she needs to, in order to “protect” both Han and her own interests. On the other hand Yeo-Jin GIRL YOU DIDNT DENY THE STATEMENT! Though I think we all knew she had something of a crush on Si-Mok from the first season, she indeed looks a bit more invested now. And I could guess that one of the reasons why she wanted to be in charge of the Seo Dong Jae is because of Si-Mok’s need to catch whoever hurt another one of his fellow prosecutors.

-Boy! Finally a scene where they find that son of a bitch! The moment when Yeo Jin presents her ID and the musical punk looks around to see if he’ll be able to knock her out and kidnap her JESUS OMG I WAS SCREAMING AGAIN and dismayed that our prosecutor hadnt gone with her! but thank heavens Hwang Si-Mok’s elegant shoe made its appearance, along with the rest of him and I was able to breathe!

-BTW I’m not too sure that Si-Mok will be able to catch him without Han’s help (We know that’s not his forte) by the looks of the teaser but he sure will be yelling at him, and for that I’m more than glad! He needs some catharsis and we all need the information.

Also, I love aggressive Hwang Si-Mok 🙃 (Sorry for the shitty captures, but I didn’t want to invest much time in them)

-From the teaser: WHY THE HECK ARE THEY LOOKING UP? Is there something horrible up there? AND WHERE THE HELL IS SI-MOK?!?

-And also...whoever decided to add a scene from episode 14 (to be confirmed) way back in the teaser for other episodes?!? That’s not cool and I’m sick of being cheated.

-NOW! onto why Si-Mok didn’t suspect the Tongyong “survivor”? Two theories that could be seen as one but here we go:

-Unknown emotions getting in the way:

In the first season the media was trying to destroy his credibility and Yoon Se-Won told Chang-Joon that Si-Mok had undergone brain surgery when he was younger and it was possible that he could be temporarily suppressing his emotions; so what if In these past years and everything that happened with his colleagues and with meeting someone like Han Yeo-Jin, changed him subtly but enough that he could actually empathize, if only for a bit, with Kim Hu-Jeong? And that all of these questions and doubts on his professional capacity are because he’s too worried about his college but he doesn’t know it, just like Prosecutor Kim suggested it, when he suggested that he’d tell Chief Woo that he wasn’t ready to take Seo’s case.

-Mental turmoil

Or what if he’s actually a little bit...depressed? Contemplative? Unsatisfied?

When we start the season, for the first time we see him more as a lonely man rather than an outsider. He’s actually got a farewell party thrown for him that he clearly doesn’t look forward to, he’s watching couples and families stroll by, he admits openly to Kang Won-Chul that he “may never fully understand the things that he should know by a certain age”, he doesn’t let his mother know that he’s back in Seoul and the promised visit is clearly not his idea, and the talk with Yeo-Jin about Eun Soo and the simplicity between living and dying got me wondering about his state of mind. He’s got questions he won’t ask to the only authoritative figure he still respects somewhat (Kang) and he’s more defiant to Woo Tae Ha.  So he’s more self-isolated with the only exception being Yeo Jin, to whom he asks questions about her obvious attitude change.

These things, along with Han Yeo-Jin’s change in attitude really got me wondering about both our protagonist but we don’t really get enough time with her to venture theories on what is going on and why she keeps quiet when Si-Mok questions her about her life choices, just that she’s miserable on her desk job with her bureocratic collegues. 

Also, I could be mistaken BUT anyone noticed how this is the first time Han Yeo Jin mentions someone from her family in the series? (grandmother).

I’d go on and on writing on the possibility of a Hwang/Han relationship but I feel that those two ending together is just too unlikely, as much we as audience would love it. They truly are made for each other, like a perfect yin-yang, and this season only confirms that she’s the only person who manages to make him eat in peace and make him smile.

Well I’m sorry for offending your eyes with this sea of text but I had to get it all out before tomorrow’s episode!! Going to sleep and hopefully I’ll open my eyes to the new ep!

[heckyeahepithetswitched]

candaru liveblogs reading her own writing: episode 5

redwood arc let’s go

for some reason I remember spending a really long time on this intro; like, the words weren’t coming out right and I couldn’t even think of an opening scene (not that what I ended up with was great)

...but this whole page is my favorite scene xD

it also took a while but when I realized “wait this is the swap version of my brotp” I knew I just needed to dig a little to find a golden dynamic and then boy did I

these two are idiots and I need to talk about them more often

the change from “preferred extracurricular activities” was changed to “astronomy signs” since... let’s face it... most of Percy’s dialogue could remain untouched and still fit swap!Sylvie, so I tried to find excuses to at least change the flavor to be sleep-related when possible

in another screenwriting book I read about how change in location can make a scene much more interesting

so everybody thank the author of that book for the birth of boxer!Molly (because I wasn’t sure where she lived yet and this was a good vague way to dodge showing her room)

(very mild tw below)

this was supposed to just make her vague and mysterious (like how Ramsey is originally shown in silhouette) but I think I accidentally just made her even more attractive

whoops

not as good as the line “well, I do have an... EYE for these things,” but the joke here is that Zora is an antique.

once again I love lines that are like “wait hold on—” and nope we’re just continuing into the scene, never gonna address that again

it actually took me a while to decide which of Molly’s girls got to take Fred’s role; at first I felt it should be Phoenicia or Trixie since they are her best friends, but later on I knew that whoever it was would have to get themselves stuck in the woods somehow, and since the “car crash” joke isn’t funny without— well, Car Crash— I had to find another way to basically leave them immobile for Detective Sylvester to find. Not knowing much about Trixie and Phoenicia, it was hard to come up with a way to do that without involving a bunch of other people (which I’d then have to get rid of before Sylvie came in), so I ended up going with Death Cap since

1) I needed someone with an epithet,

2) I already had the idea that she had mushrooms that could knock someone out via spores, and

3) Jello was probably joking about the “mushroom girl is the final boss” thing so he’s not gonna invalidate my made-up epithet

...on a related note, “Fiona Boss” is a lame pun on “final boss.” You’re supposed to say it with an Italian mobster accent.

I also decided (...back in the Museum Arc but shhhhh) since there’s no canon voice for mushroom girl, it would be cool to have her be mute.

and I was right. it IS cool. mute characters are awesome.

my beta reader thinks swap!Bugsy and Arnold are more interesting than their original counterparts and... I actually kinda have to agree

then again Bugsy and Arnold are my least-favorite canon characters so I may be biased

this ongoing bit is probably one of those jokes that was more fun to write than to read, but I really did have a fun time writing all their constant bickering

yeah I debated whether or not I was allowed to use this gimmick for a LONG time and eventually decided yeah, heck it

kid!Zora is largely responsible for how involved I got with this fandom; I have literally never been this active in any fandom, ever, with people latching so hard onto the ideas that I put out and then making their own works out of them and continually spinning this bigger and bigger web of fanworks and love for these characters

what was I talking about I don’t remember

So, there’s actually quite a bit to this line! In the original, Ramsey says:

“The make alone is pretty nice. ‘Bout 60 years old— Eh, 65, give or take. ‘Prolly worth at least a few thousand bucks.”

As you’ll notice, Ramsey was correct in his estimation— but Zora is even more accurate, because her Epithet lets her tell the age of an object down to the minute. She rounds to half a year for Molly’s sake. And the use of “pesos” rather than “bucks” (slang for American money) was 1) to imply that different forms of currency still exist in EE, and are slowly merging together like the languages did, and 2) as a small shoutout to the ethnicity headcanons of my Zora friends (before Jello actually confirmed her ethnic makeup publicly).

this is code for “I’ll decide Molly’s motivations to join the BB later”

*puts my hand to the screen longingly*

ms lockhart you’re one of my favorite characters and you weren’t even in the show

I’ve stated this on record NUMEROUS times but I can never say it enough

Eros is Percy’s weird uncle figure

I tried REALLY hard to stick with characters’ canon powersets, but in some instances it was absolutely necessary for them to fulfill their roles (i.e. here and with swap!Percy in the museum). anyway people seemed to really dig Daydream so that’s cool

Mela is a reference to Doctorsleepytime’s blog but he never read the scripts :”)

before I had a deadline it was really hard for me to find motivation to work on the scripts and VP Gorou ended up being my sole biggest motivator because I knew batsy would love him and I also knew batsy would actually read the scripts

thanks batsy

the Banzai Bees all having Howie’s disposition but a fierce loyalty to this big soft donut man is probably one of the purest things in the Redwood scripts, if not the purest

we never actually see Molly go fully feral in the museum scripts so it’s fun that we get to here. in my head she’s got the frazzled hair, the foaming at the mouth, all of it. do not mess with Molly.

to take the place of the mildly-customized Banzai Blasters, I needed some mildly-customized Worker Bees

so

I ended up using the OCs I created once on a whim

I died when I realized I had an excuse to make mistew wamsey canon

I had to add the Jenga tower because I realized Ramsey never fired a gun for Sylvie to hear hgksdaflghdsf

would you believe me if I told you I almost had Zora turn into a kid (and then continue pretending to be one for the majority of the scripts) to convince Sylvie into letting her go

you all know I hold the highest respect for Mr. Blaber as an incredibly skilled creative writer but even legends make mistakes and this is me calling him out on a poor choice of analogy

yes I see how it’s related because it’s about saving/catching the many vs saving/catching the few but STILL

zora: wait you can be a cop and also a good person?? wack

at first when I realized “wait, banzai VPs are supposed to work in pairs,” I was worried that I’d have to find another character to accompany Gorou

but then I realized having a partner who made him do all the dirty work and never went out with him was the most Gorou-like solution possible

THIS IS ONE OF THOSE LINES THAT’S FUNNY IN CANON BUT THEN THE SWAPPED VERSION IS SO MUCH WORSE

I wanted to emphasize how swap!Sylvie’s just a little bit less pure than canon!Percy. Percy immediately refers to Ramsey as “partner” once they start working together, even though he’s a criminal, whereas Sylvie at this point still very much sees Zora as a means to an end. It’s a small difference, but it’s there.

oh yeah I forgot to talk about how I ended up with an uneven number of characters to swap so instead of doing some weird three-way swap with Howdy, I just gave his role to the cat

and honestly that was one of the best decisions I ever made on the Redwood scripts

[deepphantomstarfish]

The power to wake up

Photo Cred - Jude Beck, unsplash.

“The way I see it, every life is a pile of good and bad things. The good things don’t always soften the bad things, but vice versa, the bad things don’t always spoil the good things.” - Doctor Who.

I get really vivid dreams. And usually when I say that whoever is listening thinks I mean just weird dreams you forget and don’t usually remember with a strange storyline. Well, yes and no -- I mean I can remember some of them, and some of them are so vivid, even if they’re just the weirdest things I’ll ever remember, but they’re so vivid a few I have thought were real life.

Last night was no exception - I woke up in a cold sweat after having a dream my little sister left us on a ski trip to go marry a dude she’d just met and I was the only one who was like, to everyone else, “um... excuse me? No plus this dude is a jerk! What the heck!” And my little sister was like, “Omg why can’t you just respect my decisions!?” and I was like “Because he’s a pretentious prick!”

Now of course - who am I to control other peoples behaviors... but this is a dream mind you. And honestly.... I wasn’t about to let my sister marry a pretentious prick who literally was calling me names in the dream! (I woke up mad at my sister about this lol). 

But the point is at a certain point in the dream, I grew so frustrated with my little sister because I think it had somehow turned into a nightmare for me -- something I couldn’t control whatsoever and everything was out of my reach. I ended up crying in the dream and the next thing I know I woke up in a cold sweat with less than 20 minutes to get ready for my class on zoom. I was definitely a bit shaken though. 

Which brings to mind, fear. We all know it, we all dread it, and some of us go out of our ways to avoid it. Procrastinate things to avoid having to deal with it.

Lately I think I’ve been letting fear rule my life in so many different ways. We’re all afraid of different things of course, but sometimes it can transfer to something more than just a simple phobia and end up running the course of our lives. Like for example...

I’m afraid of heights, so usually I’ll go out of my way to avoid having to take planes (not to mention saves money on trips if you can use a car on road trips), go on ziplines, or even go on rollercoasters. Yeah, I was that fun kid on school field trips who hated going on rollercoasters. (Don’t get me wrong I tried it -- ended up getting massive headaches afterwards though. Not my thing. I do love hilariously gargantuan waterslides at waterparks though).

Right now I’m in a period of waiting and standstill in my life and I don’t know quite what to do about it. I feel a bit burnt out but I think the biggest thing about where I am in my life right now, a new 20 year old with a book in progress and a massive writer’s block and case of wanderlust, is I’m seemingly in a state of standstill and I wish I could be proactive in the parts of my life that feel so achingly short, yet I also have this instinct to just procrastinate dealing with it. Why is that? Why do I feel so burnt out and so... paralyzed in my life? Not reaching to my lifelong goals in the pursuit of a life I’ve always dreamed? Am I scared the life I want won’t be enough or isn’t what I need to sustain my healthy life? 

I’m not entirely certain. But I have a few theories. Firstly in writing my book, I know it is fear. But what of? Well, I think I’m scared of not succeeding, of making something I can’t be proud of and look back on with regret. I think I’m scared of writing a bad story and one that doesn’t reach it’s full potential.

Then there’s the standstill in my relationships - where do I want to be and why am I not there? Well, I’ve always wanted a best friend and after last weekend I’m recovering from the abrupt confusion that plagued me when the girl I thought I was really good friends with ended up cutting me off. I’m not sure what happened but I’m doing better I think. But in relationships, all good or bad, what is stopping me from being the best me I can be in the sense of having a go-to friend group I know I can call family and can support me? 

Maybe I’m keeping people at bay who have always had my back in the past and forgetting about those already in my circle. But why? I think I could just be scared to be vulnerable. And then... scared of being seen as I truly am and then not being appealing to those who see it.

Because isn’t companionship what everyone wants right?

Usually I deal with this I think by either avoiding it, procrastinate dealing with it, or tucking it away out of sight out of mind. But that doesn’t fix the problem. I think where I am now, my procrastination of school and writing is only hurting me more by avoiding it. When I avoid prayer, I think that only hurts me by cutting off the source that allows me to grow stronger in who I am.

In the face of all our battles and fears, we all have a choice to where we can either face it or procrastinate dealing with it even though we know that won’t help us achieve the life we want. As Rafiki said, “Yes, the past can hurt, but the way I see it you can either run from it or learn from it,” - the Lion King.

So instead of being afraid to go to sleep tomorrow night, I think I can rest easy knowing that in the end I can always choose to wake up and start a new day.

Thank you for reading, midterms are tomorrow and oh boy am I stressed. But from my heart to yours, I hope you are well reader.

[wrongwiredmind]

Before I start saying anything I'd like to warn that the content of this post is both gore and contains suicidal thoughts, if any of that triggers you, please do not read, I care about whoever is reading but I can't hold any responsibility for anything that might follow, stay safe, and remember that no matter what, what comes next in your life will be better, one way or another.

This post is rather long, but that's kinda the point of this page, here we go, then.

So, I had almost my weirdest dream to date, right now, and then I thought, to heck with it!! Let's share something!

So first of all, I need to set some points straight before writing so it might explain a few things, hopefully, without giving a lot away about my personality:

(I have no idea how to put them on order, so they're pretty much a mumbo jumbo. Ah~ My favourite type of writing~. Kidding, of course, I actually prefer reading well written stories and articles)

Anyhow:. 1- I have a really deep unexplainable fear of the vast beast called an ocean (or a sea, or really anytype of deep water), I still go to the beach and pools and whatever, but there's always some sort of an icy grip tightening around my non-existent heart.

2- I love IronMan! So so much, and I kinda adopted Tony Stark!! (no one tell him, please!).

3- my adoration of a certain supernatural series made me love batman! (well, not entirely true, I always loved him, but kinda from afar, you get me?)

4- want me to get hooked on something? Give me a fanfic of it!! (of course like a series or a book, not a substance, you bad bad people!!), that's how I loved Bilbo!! (imagine me saying it in my adorable voice, the one I use when I try to sound cute 😉)

5- I binge read a certain fanfic about those two amazing superheroes saving the world, and themselves!! (I refuse to give up the name since if you think this is me oversharing? You've got another thing coming, honey!) that had a cruise and another prototype of the IronMan suit (don't ask which mark it is but it's so fast it broke the sound barrier!!)

6- I'm a little bit under the weather, (not corona, folks!) and my throat is kinda itchy, to the point that I lost all my vocal prowess for a little more than 24 hours a few days ago, still kinda annoying, and my stomach rebelled so much yesterday (before and during sleeping) that I thought she should take the rebellion symbol from Mr. Che Jivara!! (with all due respect to him, I'm only joking, so please no one takes it seriously).

7- I'm a little bit of a spacetoon (and all that's good and beautiful in our childhood) encyclopedia, want a name of a cartoon or a song you can't remember? I'm usually your best bet, after the second mother, google, of course!!

8- this week is so dead that if you want to see zombies come to our lectures any time in it, seriously we're so under a lot of exams, thank God and the doctors for postponing our tasks and assignments' due-date.

9- if I was a little more of an extrovert I might not have had to write most of these strange snippets about me in a freaking post!!!

And finally, on with the dream! (another thing you probably know by now, that I kinda take you around and under and left and right before I say what I want to say).

So, it was an assignment to some sort of subject (don't ask me which, since as far as I know, not a single thing in our curriculum will make me do what I'm about to do here, or at least, I hope so!!!), we made some type of fall-body suit that needed analysing (who am I kidding, it was the IronMan suit!!), and guess who was picked as a pilot? That's right! Yours truly!!

Anyway, good thing to bad, we had to make the prototype test in the middle of the (as I said above) the vast beast! Mr. Oceanus (I know that that is a Mr. Titan, but who am I, the lowly mortal, to deny his decision to appear in my paragraphs? And no, he didn't show up in the dream, thank God! [ours, not any of the others]),

So, I was put in the cruise, in the middle of the ocean, with the IronMan suit, and a seriously sick stomach, can you guess where we're going with this? (I'm actually kinda enjoying writing this since it reminds me of a certain mad superhero/not superhero who finally joined the XMen!, of course he joined a few years ago but I only watch the second movie circa a month ago) no? let me tell you, a bit of dizziness, seasickness, and an already rebellious stomach? Not a good combination, and remember that I really, really fear the ocean (just remembering the dream and the images in my head is traumatising, let alone living it vividly for a few hours), so, I fell, and strangely enough, I was a good swimmer (ah~ I really count my blessings here since no matter who or when someone taught me to swim, I still can't manage), I was able to stay close to the ship, but couldn't really pull myself up, so all I could do was keep a good hold on a rope tied around the ship and keep my legs in a calculated, slow what feels like a walking-in-place exercise,, (I can still feel the water around me, and the gentle waves of the ocean, it was both a calming feeling and a horrible one) and then...

Something touched the soles of my feet, and it kinda hurt, and it continued to move under me till something hit my toes, it was a shark fin, that's right, a shark choose me as his next meal, how honoured I was!!! Kidding i was kinda terrified, but all that YouTube survival videos came to mind, I left the rope of the ship and kinda dipped under water (triple scare, here, yikes!) and I... pushed.. his muzzle?

Yeah, so not really what they taught you in the videos, my polite nature rears its ugly head again (politeness is not as good as it seems, people! actually once a stray dog entered our home and jumped on the couch, and I was asking nicely and politely if "Mr. Dog would pretty please leave us be", and no, I wasn't scared but mom told me not to touch it, and it kinda was a cute, if a mangy mutt)

I didn't really want to punch the shark, even if my life kinda depended on it here, for a few reasons and actually at least one of them was pretty reasonable, which is, my punch is pretty weak, guys!!

Anyway, of course since its skin kinda scratched my feet there was blood, so it didn't leave me alone, two things I concluded here, first, Mr. Shark was either a lazy guy since he was coming to me slowly as if he either was a giant cat coming for pets no matter how many times you push her, or he was playing with his food, aka, me.

The second thing I discovered was that I was really sick in real life since my imagination couldn't conjure another family member of my guest here (again with the small mercies, can you imagine being alone around all these carnivores? And I bet not all of them will be moving so leisurely!!)

So, I finally decided to be the champ of my cruise and punch the thing in the face, so I pulled up all the power I can in my fist and punched him in his snout!!!

And let me tell you, it's not as easy is they make it sound, first, his nose is actually pretty hard, not the sensitive area they led us to believe, second, my hand really hurt and his skin scratched my knuckles, and I believe it kinda broke a bone in my hand, third, and worse, it actually enraged the mister so much that it left me, J-squared again and this time, flew! in my direction and I swear I still feel his teeth sinking in the shin of my right leg, but before he tore it apart, I actually did the right thing to defend myself, I (and I apologise, Mr. Dream shark, but you really hurt both my leg and my feelings!!) poked his eyes, which made for a very awkward stretch to my body, but finally, I was left alone!! With a mangled leg, of course, but hey!! It's not real life, so let's be glad.

The saltwater stinging my feet, still sick, and more dizzy from blood loss, you have no idea how glad was I that I was still near the ship, a little bit more than a meter but still floating, and then, the bad became worse, I actually goT SWALLOWED WHOLE BY A WHALE!!!!!!!!, YUP!! THE WHALE IN THE PICTURE!!!

And then god with his mercies again, it swallowed the ship but opened his mouth for me to leave, neat, ain't it?

But let me tell you what happened in a little more details, I felt a ripple in the water beneath and around me, and the ship started to sway, and a faint sound of something between a roar and strange song-like-sound, feeling the rumble under me was what made me look, and lo and behold!! The mighty animal wanted the meal that the shark didn't get, bye bye world!! Bye bye the suit that I still didn't to get to wear! And bye bye the report I needed to write for this freaking assignment that because of it I might fail and my friends will rail me when they see me!!

The ship and I couldn't help but enter the mouth of the humongous fish, the sounds of the wood, metal, glass and whatever is the cruise was made of was deafening, so loud and cruel, and I got a more than a few bruises and abrasions, and the feel of his teeth behind my back, sharp and huge and bigger than my own size, was something I don't know how to describe, and suddenly between all the breaking and suffocating water and absolute darkness, something caught my eyes, the slits in the helmet of the suit were lit, I'm sure it was a malfunction because of all the destruction on Mark, but it took all my fear, as if sucking it from my own eyes, and as sudden as it glowed, it vanished, but the calm remained, I closed my eyes, since it didn't matter, and just stopped everything, even trying to hold my breath, but not breathing as well, as if all body functions just... Stopped.

And then my eyes flew open again, not because I woke up, but because of an almost crushing change in the water pressure, it just pushed me forward more inside the huge mouth, and when I thought that this is it, I found the whale mouth moving further away from me, taking the ship and Mark with it, and leaving me alone, in the middle of the ocean that I wanted to say "c'mon!! If you ate me it'll be a win-win situation!!!!" but the second I opened my mouth water rushed inside that I tried swimming up to breath (even though not knowing which way is up was problematic, since something similar happened in real life before I wasn't worried, but that's a story for another time), breaking the surface was a godsend, I tell you! But my misery wasn't in any way over, I was so thirsty I actually wanted to drink salt water a again (and then death, oh wow, how smart?), and once the adrenaline deserted me, my leg returned to trying to kill me, and I don't know if it was a real thing if it happened in real life but it actually stopped bleeding, which was both fantastic, since it means that I won't die of bloodloss, and horrifying since I'm not going to die because of bloodloss, at least then I would have been able to calculate an approximate time for my death, but no, I have to wait and see what kills me next, I almost wished that I just had my previous stomachache and be done with.

Anyway, moving was not really an option, and staying was not either, and the breeze was making me so cold my teeth almost broke from all the shattering they were doing, I wasn't really sure when the others might decide to check on me, and I'm not really sure if I was still in the place they left me at, and I really didn't know what to do, I was so helpless, and cold, and thirsty, in so much pain and so so tired.

I cursed the whale again for not ending my misery, and cursed the shark for being a coward and not finishing what he started and cursing the assignment for being so impossible yet important, and most of all cursing myself, though I don't know why, but my self-loathing decided that now is the time to remember how horrible I am.

As physics does, the water raised me till I was floating on my back, which made me feel even more cold but I didn't have any energy to do anything about it, and strangely, I fell into some sort of doze, not asleep yet not really awake and aware, my whole body half above half into the water, though my right, injured leg, was bend in the knee into the water, which made my pained scream when something took hold of it in its mouth the more agonizing since it made my upper body enter the water, and the thing holding my leg left it alone, and I was able to right myself and look around me for the next threat, the fear was immense that I thought I might get a heartattack, which, admittedly would be better than the pain going to be inflicted upon me any second now, looking around finally led me to what attacked me, and for a moment, with my blurry, and fear filled eyes looked like Mr. Shark has indeed returned to finish what he started, he even returned to his play-with-my-food attitude, but when my eyes finally focused they detected differences, from the lighter shade of colors, to the more smooth curves of the fin and snout, and the gentle, warm (even if it looked sleepy) strange brown tone of the mammels eyes,

The dolphin was about two meters away, and looking at me with intense, twinkling eyes (if they were blue and he wore glasses, or at least marking that looks like it, I would have thought that the dolphin was Dumbledore' animagus and I really wouldn't have hesitated this time to punch his already crocked nose.. err.. snout [which it isn't, the dolphin's snout was perfect] with my broken hand!!) and moved slowly towards me, he pushed me gently with his nose in my abdomen, swam back a few inches, then entered the water and moved towards my leg, not touching it, but he was close enough to feel with my already almost destroyed sensitive nerves, he did all of that while I'm standing/floating, stupefied, hardly even breathing, and then he left, and pushed me again with his snout on my back, this time with more pressure that my body couldn't help but move to the dolphin's right side to let him pass, with my hand just above his back, when my hand touched his prominent back fin, he pushed my hip gently, as if telling me something, and pushed his fin into my hand again, it felt like rubber, and I couldn't help but ask "you want me to hold you?" he made a strange clicking noise then kinda slapped the water with his side fin in the other side of me, and bizarrely, his actions made me feel as if he was saying "are you stupid? Why else would I offer you my magnificent dorsal?!!" I stared, flummoxed, at the creature and couldn't help but throw my head back and laugh, I'm certain that it was the tension, fear and hysteria that made me do it, but for me, the whole situation was so hilarious that it seemed like it made Mr. Dolphin look at me and think "alright, the pathetic, hurt, star-shaped blemish is, indeed, stupid and needs help from my majesty" and then, using his right fin, slapped me non-too-gently on the side of my left hip, squeaking something as well and pushed his dorsal in my left hand again, but when he noticed my wince, he actually kinda rubbed his slippery appendage on my thigh while honest-to-god cooed at me that I couldn't help but smile at him, "it's okay, big guy, and thanks; you know, you kinda remind me of flipper!" and then I petted him a couple of times (which he purred at, I think I need a cat! 🤔🤔) then grabbed his fin in a tight but non constricting grip, my right hand was swollen by now so my only hope was to keep holding using my left hand, after shaking his body a little as if to check my hold, he dove with me into the water!! I almost screamed in fright but then he broke the surface and jumped about three meters high into the air!!!

Hello, there, adrenaline, didn't see you since a few!!

He dove again into the water and this time gradually moved towards the surface, with the water flowing into my hair and pushing me from my saviour, my left leg moved on its own violation and moved around the body as if I was riding a horse,

"WOOHOO!!", I shouted once we were in the air again, it was exhilarating; cold, but thrilling, though the warm body beneath me was perfect, he took me in a straight if slightly curvy line, and when I noticed that, I also noticed that his right fin was not moving as his left, I even thought he was injured for a second, but then a sharp sting in my leg and a slight jerk from him made me understand, my injured leg was beneath his wing-like appendage, and he was being considerate, as a solution, I flattened myself on his back, kept my left leg dangling as if in the horse saddle, my right one, as gently as possible, bend on the knee above the dolphin's back, my left hand gripping the top fin with it touching my shoulder, and my broken right hand above Mr. Flipper's cousin head, and then I came into a a sudden realization!! "does that mean I'm Lopaka????" I asked Flipper the second, and he made a sound suspiciously almost like a snort, but my change of position made him move in a much more pronounced straight line; the speed decreased as I started to doze again, as if he was worried about dislodging me, though the annoying feeling of the salt crusting on my skin woke me up, no idea how much time had past, except that the sun was on either the verge of descending or rising, and finally, finally, I saw land and buildings and what not from afar, and I certainly moved to another continent all together, let alone another country, after reaching the area where I could stand comfortably on the ground beneath the water, people started to come to see what was happening, I ignored them for the sake of my silent companion, suddenly he actually stood on his tail fin, and kinda sort of awkwardly leaned on me without trying to put too much pressure, I didn't understand what was happening though it seemed sorta like a hug?

Anyway, I pat his back again, (and again with the weird purring noise), when he released me I felt buzzing in the back pocket of my jeans, I actually still have my phone!!!

Pulling it out and snorting that after everything that happened my phone was still working!! all I could say is "well, it seems like the time of a picture, Mr. Flipper, sir!" and after an awkward kneeling so I could put my injured arm around him and trying to stretch my bloody leg (both meanings are accurate here, tbh) so it wouldn't interfere with the selfie, I positioned my left hand.

And the last thing I remember is the picture of my (Lopaka the second 😂) wide mouth grin and an equally wonderful grin from Mr. Flipper the second!!!

The End.

It really was a dream I had, with all these details, the only thing that's not entirely true about this post, is saying that this is the weirdest dream I had.

[realm-sweet-realm]

Into the Void

So. Chapter 1 of the bodyswap to the death AU is here. I can’t lie, this one has a lot of setup. Sorry about that. The next chapter is going to be much more exciting. It centers around Allison, and my Allison is pretty twisted.

Also, I’ve decided to do this as a sequel to Defining Memories so that the group will have a reason to know the first thing about each other. Don’t worry if you haven’t read it, though, all the information you’d need from it is made clear in chapter 1.

Chapter 2 should be out be Friday at the latest. I know that weeks is a long time to dwell on a comedy AU, but I want to finish this and can only write so fast.

---

It was 7:00 pm on a Sunday evening when Joey Drew found himself pulled straight out of his regular life and into a purple, mystic void. Strangely enough, this wasn’t the first time this had happened: about two months ago, he and twelve of his employees had been gathered into a void just like this, then allowed to leave once they had watched each others’ memories.

This was different, though. Then, well, the mystic void had seemed a little much, but Joey had been expecting some supernatural events. You could even say he’d unleashed them. Now? Joey was clueless, and his heart was like a lead hammer pounding at his chest. What had he done?

“What’s going on, Joey?” a voice asked. He turned to see that it was Henry, and the other eleven people from last time were there, too, looking confused and, in most cases, worried. Joey’s throat was so tight that wasn’t sure he could speak. “We’re just here to watch more memories, right?”

Just then, a maniacal laughter emanated from all around them, loud and high-pitched.

Oh, absolutely not! The void mocked. It was jaunty and garbled and high-pitched. I paid you my favour, and you didn’t pay me back. And you didn’t put me away properly, either. So I’ll tell you what I’m going to do: now that you all know each other a bit, we’re going to play a game. You hear?

“Joey, get us out of here!” Sammy yelled. There was fear evident in his voice. “Do it. You know how, right?”

Joey stared vacantly into the void as it laughed and laughed at them.

No one here is getting away until you entertain me. Now, here’s what’s gonna happen. I’m going to take your souls, and put em’ in random bodies. And you’ll want to keep up the performance of being whoever you’re supposed to be, because at the end of the week, you’ll all get a chance to guess each others’ identities. Anyone who can guess more identities than their identity was correctly guessed will be put back into their bodies. Anyone else, the voice giggled, DIES! I’ll give you all, hmm... about two minutes to work out the practicalities. Bye-bye!

The thirteen people got a good look at each other, perhaps so they’d recognize who they were five minutes from now. Strangely, the strongest reactions in the room seemed to be nervousness and stunned shock, most likely because the reality of such a bizarre scenario hadn’t sunk in yet.

After a while, Thomas spoke up on the practicalities of the situation. “Alright. Here’s what I propose we do,” Thomas said, trying to sound perfectly calm. He wanted nothing more than to wring Joey’s neck, but now was not the time. “Let’s all write any important information about how to handle each other’s lives on pieces of paper and leave them taped to our own lockers, or offices, or whatever it is we have. That can include any meds we have to take, how to interact with family members, details about work, whatever. Alright?”

Allison’s sobs were the only answer.

Thomas blinked, and the next thing he knew, he was still hearing those same sobs, albeit in a somewhat deeper voice, but he was in an apartment he didn’t recognize and looking at the face of Sammy Lawrence. Looking down at his own hands, he saw very thin arms coated in inky black gloves.

“Oh, Sammy, what’s wrong?” Thomas cooed in the girliest, most sympathetic tone he could muster. The game had begun.

The next day, the thirteen took to their roles. Thomas hated his new body. Susie hadn’t been kidding about not producing body heat because she was made of ink, and he was freezing cold whenever he was outside of her well-heated apartment. On the plus side, the note said that Joey Drew had her scheduled to do some bit parts for an upcoming episode because he hadn’t been able to find a replacement voice actress yet, so at very least he wouldn’t have to do her usual performances and meet-and-greets as Alice Angel. He barely knew a thing about this studio’s characters, and he sure as hell wasn’t going to sing.

Sammy didn’t mind being Allison too much. He could sing. He had a feeling that living with “Thomas” wouldn’t be such an issue, either. While he was experimenting with his new singing voice the night before, Sammy caught “Thomas” bundling up in a heavy sweater and heading out to stargaze in the crisp night air. “He” walked so delicately when he thought no one was watching, and the way he was holding “his” arms to his heart- there was no doubt about it. This was Susie rediscovering life in a human body. He even caught her feeling her pulse, unaware that she was being watched. It crushed Sammy’s heart to see, but at least he’d figured out an identity.

Allison didn’t like Sammy, and not just because of the air of snobbery she got from him, or all the contemptuous looks he gave to Tom. By his memories, it didn’t take a genius to figure out that he’d had a part in Susie’s death and rebirth. Now that she had his body, well, she’d figure out a way to make things even. She knew she would. And in the meantime, there were certain ways that she planned on taking advantage of it.

Bertrum had ended up the body of the lyricist, Jack Fain. He supposed there were worse things- writing song lyrics sounded like something he could learn. He, like many of the other players, had to ask where his office was. To his dismay, he learned that he had no office: he usually worked in the sewers. Was there anyone in this company who wasn’t either incompetent, a psychological mess, disrespectful, or massively lacking in self-respect? Worse, he had no idea where to put his note, since, as Bertrum could work out ride designs at home and only ever came in occasionally to check on the Bendyland workers or meet with Joey Drew, he had no office or locker. He had to find whoever was piloting his body so he could tell them about the dinner party with the Georgian investors on Thursday evening and make sure they didn’t ruin it. Thus, Bertrum found himself working as close to Bendyland as he could without setting off anyone’s radar, hoping to catch a glimpse of himself.

On the other hand, Jack didn’t mind being Bertrum. He worried about how things were going with his husband and adoptive kids, of course, and the situation was scary in general, but at least his form put him at an advantage. This way he would have an excuse to interact with “Lacie” for as long as he needed to in order to figure out her identity, and wouldn’t need to interact with too many other participants of the game. He could focus on designing attractions that weren’t rides, since he had no mechanical knowledge, and keep his profile down for the week, and he would be just fine, he hoped.

Norman was relatively unafraid. He was Shawn- more or less a best-case scenario. Shawn’s job didn’t require much skill, and he was gregarious enough that it wouldn’t be out of character to interact with almost any of the players. Plus, from years of watching from the shadows, Norman knew almost everyone’s secrets- this was a bloody game and Norman took no joy in that, but it was his game.

Shawn was Lacie. Okay, someone he knew well and who wouldn’t interact with other players much. A fair deal. He could handle this. Thankfully, she had been outside when the transformation had occurred, so no one who knew her personally heard Shawn’s existential screams.

Lacie barely knew Norman beyond his reputation for watching people and rarely talking, but he seemed pretty easy to pretend to be. She had to ask a coworker what her job was, and almost laughed when she got the answer. Much of it was sitting high and mighty above the recording studio, which periodically contained four of the players of the game. She’d been terrified at first, but all things considered, she’d have to really screw up to lose this game.

Joey also thought he had a good deal, playing Henry. Joey knew Henry so well, and already knew wife and his children (they loved their uncle Joey). Heck, Joey had even envied Henry’s home life. And Joey knew how to draw, and how to put on a persona. It seemed like a best-case scenario! That was, until it was ten a.m. and Joey was sick to death of drawing. Henry had an ability to do repetitive work for hours that Joey quite simply lacked, and Joey found himself without an excuse to visit anyone. Often, during his first day, he would just walk somewhere where he knew other players would be, and just stand there, watching, hoping for a clue to anyone’s identity. It was a very un-Henrylike thing to do, but at least it wasn’t Joeylike, either. He was fairly certain that he wouldn’t be guessed for it.

Henry, in the meantime, was thrilled to be Joey. He’d worried himself to the point of vomiting the night before, thinking about how he’d have to contribute to the deaths of others for a chance to see his family again. But now, he was planning- working out misguided, Joeylike decisions that would test the nature of the players, starting with the music department. He was ready to do anything to secure his life, and being someone this powerful could only help.

Grant was in full-on panic the second he was out of the void, and the noise from that brought over a somewhat familiar-looking golden retriever to lick his shaking hand in concern. Grant had moved to another room and shut the door to keep the retriever out. It had startled him enough that he’d almost struck it, and he had no intention of hurting someone else’s pet. As soon as he came down from panic, he realized where he was: Wally’s home. Alright. This could be worse. All he had to do was clean the studio and pretend to be goofy and energetic. For a whole week. He hoped he could keep it up that long.

Wally wasn’t faring much better. He knew he couldn’t handle the studio’s finances, and he didn’t know anything about Grant. Since it had been so long, Wally couldn’t even seem to remember Grant’s memories. The note he’d been left didn’t help. Most of it was pretty mundane: the first two bullet points were about where he kept his medications and a list of scheduled meetings. The next one read,

Do not get help with my job. I have a reputation to maintain. At least, don’t get help with anything too simple.

Not exactly what Wally wanted to hear, but still a clear message. The next point, however, was a lot more cryptic.

Expect a visit at 10 a.m. on Monday. Have the second folder in my filing cabinet (the blue one) out. Have the door closed.

Well, it was 10 a.m., and Wally did have the folder out and the door closed. He heard someone twist the door handle. “Slide it under the door.” Came a deep, gravely, and very artificial-sounding voice.

Wally tried opening the door, but whoever was on the other side of it was holding it shut. Knowing that he needed to find at least one identity to stay alive, he pulled harder, but whoever was on the other side of it was much stronger than him.

“Don’t even think about it. I know exactly who you are, and if you open this door, I will tell the other eleven. Just slide that folder under the door, and keep the door closed for five minutes afterwards.”

Slowly, carefully, Wally obeyed. On the other side of the door, Grant picked up the folder and backed away slowly. He felt sorry for whoever he’d threatened, but these forms needed to be complete before the end of the week, and he was quite sure that Joey would kill him if they weren’t done properly. The second he was around the corner, he collapsed against the wall in relief. Hopefully this would be the most ridiculous thing he’d have to do this week.

“There you are, Wally,” a voice came.

Grant quickly hid the folder behind his back. “Thomas! Uh, hi!” Was that how Wally greeted Thomas? He hoped so.

“Uh, hi. So, your note probably said something about how I’m supposed to teach you to maintenance the ink machine.” Indeed, it had. “Well, that would be pretty useless, now wouldn’t it? Listen, I’ll promise not to try to figure out your identity if you can answer me this: do you know anything about machinery?”

Grant had worried that being caught ten feet from his office would have been a dead giveaway. Maybe “Thomas” was just that desperate. “Sorry, no,” he said.

“Okay,” “Thomas” said. “Guess I’ll just have to teach him next week. Best of luck not dying.” Susie left, making sure to walk heavily, as Thomas would have. She’d just have to make sense of Thomas’ instructions on her own. Maybe calling GENT or getting some books on machine maintenance from the library would help. One week. She had to keep the ink machine, whose pipes and various machinery extended from one end of the studio to the other, in one piece for one week, plus keep up with the pipe installations Joey had wanted. Plus find at least two identities (she wasn’t sure how long she could hide her true colours from “Allison”), and keep her own hidden so that she could survive.

This was going to be a week.

[ohlukcs]

( alex wolff, male ) did you hear how LUKAS TOZER is applying to columbia university as a FILM & MEDIA STUDIES major ?! the 19 year old is living in the WALLACH HALL. i heard that they got in because they are + PASSIONATE and +THOUGHTFUL, but honestly i think HE can be -ASSUMING and -CYNICAL. they’re a real MAVERICK. oh well, only time will tell if the SOPHOMORE will make it til the end.

about the mun !!

hi hello my name is sam (she/her), im 22, and im a big fat mess at all times :) um but a lil more about me is that i’m australian and a recently graduated film student lmao. i’ve been rping for like ten years now i think idk but i am a NERVOUS BITCH !!!!!!! and it sometimes takes me forever to reply to things (ic and ooc) bc of that so pls be patient with me lmao. anyway, happy 2 be here !! if u like this post i’m gonna assume u wanna plot with me and my idiot and hit u up !!! lets mcfreakin lose it !!!!

about lukas !!

full name: lukas joshua tozer

nickname(s): luk-ass idk whatever u can come up with lmao

age: nineteen

gender: cis male

pronouns: he/him

hometown: jackson, new jersey

date of birth: nov 4th

occupation: student ( film and media studies, sophomore ), cook/server at a nearby 24hr pizza joint

relationship status: single

drink / smoke / drugs: yes / yes / yes

faceclaim: alex wolff

positive traits: passionate, thoughtful, creative, ambitious, untethered, humorous

negative traits: assuming, cynical, insensitive, rebellious, resentful, irresponsible

if he was in a hogwarts house: slytherin

now some more dot points that are just me talking about lukas !!

was born in fort lauderdale florida but there is a vERY low chance he will ever admit that, he’ll just say he’s from new jersey. as far as he’s concerned, he’s always been from new jersey even if his family did move there after he turned twelve

speaking of things lukas probably wont ever tell u but i’m including them anyway: his family is kind of messy. not majorly but like a little bit more than average. he had two brothers, now he only has one. i’m not gonna include a whole lot of nitty gritty here i’ll save it for when i write the real bio and can actually do it justice but its the reason they moved from florida and it has had a pretty major effect on lukas over time obviously

he’s the baby of the family and he’s pretty much always been treated like one. it has left him pretty immature and irresponsible. still learning that his actions have consequences and that he cant just be a total dick all the time. he’s improved in those areas a fair bit since he started at columbia a year ago but he still has a long way to go

he didn’t ever really expect to go to columbia, he’s from a middle class family and his dad didn’t even go to college. he applied for columbia just as a might as well give it a go thing. like maybe it will happen. they had a film course and although the course itself isn’t really great, the connections to the industry available at columbia were valuable enough for him to try. he was wait listed up until basically the last minute, preparing to go to a college in boston instead but when he was accepted he knew he had to go. for himself, for his family, and for his lost brother.

obviously irresponsible attitude has led to some Bad Decision Making including but not limited to partying and drugs. he doesn’t prioritise that lifestyle over his school work (bc he knows how lucky he is to be at columbia at all) but he is a big believer that you need to experience things to be a great artist and he plans on being the greatest artist so bad decision town here we come !!!!

he has a pet goldfish named michael bublé pls dont nark

for more info on him click here to check his about page, no bio there yet but hopefully soon

wanted connections babey !!

course friends/rivals/anything: i am writing these before acceptances happen so i have no good god damn idea if any other characters are film majors but hit me the hell up if they are bc i would love to plot some stuff out

old roommate(s) : lukas was probably an entertaining roommate but probably verged on annoying pretty easily. he’s messy, gross, probably didn’t respect the do ur fucking dishes rule in first year ( probs still doesnt tbh ). but he also has a password to every streaming account plus a phat hard drive full of movies and shows that he is absolutely willing to share with u so just depends what ur into i guess. maybe this connection led to friendship or maybe they hate each other now. im down for either/both 

dealer: hi welcome back to bad decision town. lukas isn’t into any hard stuff but is a big weed smoker (to my understanding medicinal cannabis is allowed but lukas def doesn’t have a prescription), then after that it’s kind of just experimenting. will chat more details if u wanna take this connection

booze leachers: so yes lukas is 19 but he has four, thats right, four fake ids. he is not willing to give u his contact for fake ids but he is willing to buy u booze if u pay him. dont hate the player hate the game

gang gang: pretty much just a close group of friends. i imagine all pretty relaxed, all pretty chill. idk what to say here except i want people to care about him and let him put on dumb movies and watch them with him and probably have dumb matching stick and poke tattoos and hog a communal tv to play mario kart but lets talk about it

fast food workers deserve respect too: as mentioned, lukas works at a 24hr pizza joint near campus which means he’s seen some shit. one of the things he’s seen multiple times is drunk student trashing the place. whether it be vomit, forgetting how to hold a cup, or bet try at a food fight lukas has seen it and he’s cleaned it up too. this connection could be that maybe he helped someone out and cleaned them up and got them back to campus when their friends ditched and now they look out for lukas too and its a positive connection. or maybe lukas hates their guts and spits on their food whenever they show up ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ who’s to say

hot girl bummer by blackbear: now listen here’s an angsty connection i want, and i def want to plot it out way more with whoever takes it on but basic outline of what i have in mind: they’ve kind of sort of been dating for a while but they’re just falling out of whatever they had to begin with. they were never official, they probs def fucked around with other people while they were ““““together”””””, lots of oh sorry ur taking it so seriously i thought we were just chilling bullshit. all of this girls friends probs hate lukas and he definitely hates them back. were probably once really good friends and had a really good time together but they’ve lost it. will they find it again or will it fizzle out? lets find out together xoxo

new girl(s) : i hate the connection title too but i couldnt think of anything better. we’re in bad decision town and now we’re going to thot street babey. since things have been falling apart with hot girl bummer and even before that lukas a little bit of a thottie. this doesnt mean he’s good at it, please also feel free for a part of this to be that they rejected lukas and he got butt hurt about it idk lukas being attracted to them is basically this whole idea and i would wanna plot the rest of it more depending on specific characters wooo

lukas is a bad influence: if u have gotten this far u may have noticed that lukas is not a very good influence at all. this is someone probs his age or younger that wants to loosen up and have a good time and lukas completely encourages that. bonus points if this connection is a combo with the above connection bc lukas is a gross boi and would be like wow listening to my bad ideas thats so sexy and cool of u ya know. but also doesnt have to be that ! could just be lukas thinks its funny and thinks that someone listening to him is just like good content that could get him on barstool

lukas is badly influenced: this is basic as hell but someone that tells him to leave his impluse control at the door and encourages him to be trash. probs older than him and i def see this as more of a masc connection than a fem but like all my plot ideas: lets talk about it. this one probs v much depends on ur character so gonna leave this one nice and short

lukas is good-ly (??????) influenced: also basic as hell and p much just the opposite of above. someone who is a good influence on lukas. encourages creativity and ambition instead of straight up recklessness. again, i see it as an older character but no gender seen here. a lot of this would be based around ur character so lets chat

michael bublé’s co parents: lukas has a goldfish named michael bublé (or just michael), i picture him having got it while high as heck during the day and just being like This Is A Good Idea. maybe ur character was with him and they were co parents from the start or maybbe they came into the picture later ??? i’m honestly down for whichever just give michael the love he deserves pls

and probably just about anything else these are just some ideas, i totally wanna plot further and brainstorm so please still hmu if none of these fit ur character we’ll plot something up !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[koalas-koalas-everywhere]

The question of Peter’s choices in Civil War...

Everyone and their mother will agree that Peter’s choice to unmask publicly was out of character. Anyone with any understanding of the character (and the concept of vigilantes and heroes, I mean, really, assault is written into the genre’s very core) will also agree that while he tries to respect the law as much as he can, he will break it and allow it to be broken when it comes into conflict with what’s right. 

Here’s the thing, though. There were ameliorating circumstances, of which being out of character was only a small part, which made his actions more understandable: one was his faith in Tony and the other was the fact that he didn’t have a choice.

Before Peter unmasks, heck, before Civil War even starts, Tony gives him the Iron Spider Suit (IRS) and, when Peter questions him for ulterior motives, admits that he wants his help with something big that’s coming, but he won’t tell him what until he swears that he’ll support him and back him up no matter what, and that he won’t tell anyone else what’s goin on. Peter goes so far as to call it a blood oath, and Tony agrees. In return, Tony would make him his second, his protegé, someone allowed to be at his side as the events unfold and learn, see and hear everything he himself sees and hears.* Peter, thinking he’s doing nothing more than agreeing to help a friend, gives him his oath. (ASM #529) They go to Washington, where Tony had been summoned to testify before the Senate Metahuman Investigation Committee. 

On the plane over, Tony tells Peter what they’ll be discussing: the SHRA, and they both agree that it would be a bad thing and that they’ll have to convince the Committee not to go forward with it. Once there, they argue against it before the court and Tony even hires a super-powered mercenary to fake an assassination attempt which Peter (who didn’t know it was fake, and to whom Tony didn’t reveal it was fake even when he asked) would prevent, in hopes that Spider-Man’s intervention and the mercenary’s speech about how the government’s intolerance of super-heroes would lead to their erradication and the country’s vulnerability (all of this conviniently recorded by the IRS) would tide the Committee’s opinion over to their side. (ASM #531)

I repeat: Tony had been shown to be against the Act.

It would not be such a stretch to think that, when he backed up the Government when it decided to go through with it after Stamford, it was so he’d be better able to do damage control. He (and Reed and Pym) put themselves in charge of how the Act would be carried out, and parts of it were reasonable and downright smart. I mean, yeah, train people so they won’t do harm disproportionate to the good they set out to do. (This is not to say that I agree with the Act in it entirety, of course.)

Another thing Tony had been shown to be was savvy when it came to politics and a capable person in general, so between all this and his promise to always back him up, Peter could have stayed on his side on the hope that he would fix it, either improve the pubilc’s opinion of heroes so everything would be back to normal or work out the worst parts of the Act so that everyone could be happy with it. What we have to accept is that, while the relationship was horribly built, they were friends and, according to JMS, had a sort of father/son relationship (so can we be really surprised when it went to shit?).  It’s not so much that he agrees with everything the Act proposes, but that he trusts his friends and, particularly, Tony, to look after their interests. 

So, we’ve got a reason for why he’d make the decision to be on Tony’s side, and we’re going by this chronologically, so we’re on the ride over to the airport so Peter can fly to New York, so he doesn’t know a lot of stuff, yet. But, we’ve still got to go over how they could justify Peter unmasking on TV.

When Tony asks him to do this, Peter refuses. Tony makes it clear that if he doesn’t, he’ll be a criminal, and he leaves him to think it over on the flight to NY. During it, Peter calls his bank to ask the amount of money he has saved and if he can withdraw it. Once home, he talks it over with Mary Jane and Aunt May, saying that if he unmasks, they get to choose and the decision has to be unanimous.

During the course of this conversation, we see that Peter and MJ reach the conclusion that he's damned if he does, damned if he doesn’t, because his secret identity is compromised already (they only talk about whether Tony can be trusted not to tell on him, but SHIELD knew who he was, too - heck, it was practically common knowledge fuck you Bendis) and Peter seems to make the decision to go on the run, on his own, because taking Aunt May and Mary Jane with him could lead to their arrest. 

Then... Aunt May tells him to unmask (which, okay, might not be too weird for someone whose only experiance with being attacked because people knew who Peter is was when she got kidnapped and promptly drugged until she was saved, so she might not have been able to process the danger beyond the intellectual) and... Mary Jane agrees (which is shit) and still Peter wanted to go on the run, until Aunt May corners him and implies not only that Uncle Ben would have wanted him to unmask, but that it would be the responsible thing to do because she ties it to accountability. 

Now, I can’t actually argue that unmasking, even under all this pressure, was in character. I just can’t. The best thing I can do with all these little facts is No Prize it.

First of all, I’ll talk about a thought I had while writing this. Like I said, there would have been little point in Peter unmasking, even just to the Governemt, because SHIELD and others already knew his id. In fact, he had already made a comment about how he didn’t trust their capability or willingness to prevent leaks, so, in his mind, for all intents and purposes, his secret identity was already shot. So, that being a non-issue, why was he still about to leave? I mean, besides an impulse that by this point was more instictual and visceral than logical to protect his id (which would have been more than fair). I think, when he and MJ started talking about what might be asked of him if he stayed and registered, he realized that he wasn’t willing to compromise that much, but maybe he didn’t want to face the fact that he’d break his promise to Tony that easily, so he stuck with the “I don’t want to unmask” excuse. Truth be told, I think that, at least at first, if he had actually left, he’d have gone Ben’s route and gone to Canada to stay out of it, instead of joining Cap’s team from the start - especially since he’d be leaving his family in the tender mercies of whoever got their hands on his secret id and wanted to make something of it, he might want to be on his best (possible) behaviour.

But why did he stay, then? The clinch was clearly when Aunt May talked to him the morning he was about to slip away, which amounted to “own up to what you’ve, done it’s the responsible thing to do and what your Uncle would have wanted”. So that might have combined with his guilt over breaking his promise to Tony when it was possible that he’d be fighting to make the Act better for supers and in a moment of hysteria he might have gone “you know what? It’s already going to go public. The Government will find out and sooner than later there will be a leak and everyone else will find out too, might as well cooperate and skip the middle man so I can keep some kind of control over it.” Unmasking publicly would also be a show of support to Tony, who did the same thing (at this point, people didn’t know he was Iron Man, although it was heavily suspected, since he’d unmasked before).

So, to summarize: Peter was the proverbial frog boiling over low fire. He started with a promise of support ot a friend, who then asked him for his help in convincing the Government to at least postpone the Act. When the SHRA came to fruition, he might have had the idea that Tony would still be fighting against it, but in a position that might allow him to do it from within, so he might have seen the sides as the one which was willing to compromise and negotiate and the one which refused to give quarter even when some of it made sense, instead of outright pro vs against. It has to be noted, too, that Tony didn’t ask him whether he wanted to be part of the strike team who went after the heroes who didn’t register, and that he fonud out about that with everyone else, through a TV press conference when he had already given up his secret identity.

As for his unmasking, he had plenty of reason to believe that everyone he’d be required to tell his identity to would find out anyway from SHIELD and/or Tony (or any of the inmates who recognized him from the time he was unmasked in Ryker’s, I mean, Bendis was polite enough to include and name The Foolkiller specifically, who had been a student and friend of Peter’s, see his face god Bendis fall off a cliff), and didn’t think they’d be able/willing to keep the secret, so he might have decided to skip the middle man and unmask himself so at least he’d get points for cooperating and to have some control over the narrative. He was also sorta kinda guilt tripped into it by Aunt May. Still something you’d have to suspend your disbelief for, but all in all, that and a little bit of freaking out-induced irrationality might do the trick enough that we can justify it and accept it without going into the territory of “it was in character”.

Now, I’ve also heard people say that going on the run was out of character. That, at the very least, he shouldn’t have taken Mary Jane and Aunt May with him.

I’ll start with the scenario of him going on the run with his family because it’s the easier one. Yes, it was dumb, and you can tell it was ooc because he didn’t want to do it in the first place. He took them out of the tower because he didn’t trust Tony with them (am I the only one who thought “As long as they’re with me, they’re safe.” (ASM #535) as “as long as you behave, they’re safe”? At the very least, it’s what a scared and disillusioned Peter might have thought), but after that he wanted them to take their money and go away, probably even leave the country. Then May (goddamit May!) convinced him to “let” them stay with him. I mean, it’s not like he could actually make them do anything, it’s not as easy as “Peter should have sent them away”. It’s still out of character, but also understandable. We learn later that Peter didn't want to stay with the outlaw heroes so he wouldn't bring trouble to them (it wouldn’t be a stretch to think that Tony might have some way to trace him even without the suit), so if they left, he’d be looking at the life he described to Mary Jane (”on the run [...], going from one dive to another, using different names... The stress will be enormous” ASM #536)... on his own. Certainly not the most attractive prospect. So May’s message of hope would be attractive to him, and he could justify it by saying that at least this way he can keep an eye on them and actively protect them.** 

I’ve also heard it said that he should have stayed with Tony but report back to the other team, to which I have to say... you complain that Peter was out of character for unmasking and then you suggest this? He’s not the cloak and dagger kind. Not only is it not his style, I don’t think he’s cut out for it. I mean, can you imagine Peter as Black Widow 2.0? Would it have been smart? Yes. Would it have been in character? Hell, no. And while I think he’s a better liar than most people are willing to give him credit for, he’d be caught 5 minutes in. People were already thinking he looked suspicious during Bill Foster’s funeral, and everything (except my reding list, ig) points out to that being before the failed transfer attempt in ASM #534, where he was still so committed that he rejected Cap’s offer (and request) to switch sides and fought him. By escaping, at least he put some distance between his family and the repercussions of being a double-agent.

Also to consider is that, the moment he starts thinking of jumping ship, Tony tells him that he wants him in LA the next day, so he’d lose all of his usefulness as a spy. Even if he had managed to stay in NY and close to Tony, it was clear that he wasn’t trusted anymore. It was just not an option. Quite like it wouldn’t have been an option to just contact Cap’s team and offer to report to them because they wouldn’t have trusted them. We know this because they didn’t immediately trust him when Frank took him all beaten up to their hide out and at least Sam still didn’t trust him after he made his speech exposing the pro side’s ruthless and immoral measures (although then he was shown to be appreciative of him in the CW mag, so idk).

So, he was on Tony’s side not so much because he agreed with the Act but because he trusted Tony to try to make the best of it and maybe even change it, he unmasked because the important people already knew who he was and he didn’t trust him to keep the secret, so that combined with his promise to support Tony, Aunt May’s sorta guilt trip and a bit of being out of character that we’ll call “being under a lot of stress for a long time now ang going through a bit of hysteria at just the wrong time” led to that decision. Getting Mary Jane and Aunt May out of the Avengers Tower was alright because he had already seen the measures Tony would go to to ensure a win and doesn’t trust him, but letting them come along with him while he fought the SHRA instead of insisting that they leave was out of character and dumb to boot. While staying on Tony’s team to spy on them would have been smart, it would have been ooc, too, and not an option since by the time he decided to change sides not even Tony trusted him.

*I didn’t mean for that to be so close to an actual quote, but I checked the issue and that’s almost exactly what he says, so go me and my subconcious memory, I guess.

** Now, why would he be willing to endanger his family and not the other heores... yeah, out of character. But also... well, I guess this is my own personal view of the character and the narrative it fits in, but Peter Parker needs family, friends and good things in his life to function. I mean, all humans do, but Peter needs them for the sake of his story, the counterpoint light to the darkness. He can be exposed to all the evil of the world and fight it, but he needs its goodness, too. The tragedy/hope (and even death/birth) dichotomy is at the core of the character: Uncle Ben dies/Spider-Man the hero is born, Gwen Stacy dies/his relationship with Mary Jane starts off, everything goes to shit right before the second Clone Saga/Mary Jane gets pregnant, May dies/she reveals she knew Peter was Spider-Man and is proud of him. The last one is especially important because Norman intended that revelation to drive Peter to despair, but it actually gives him hope. It’s about being open to hope in the worst of times. It’s part of the reason why I hate the “Peter is a loser with a fucked up life whose punchline is that he can never be happy” ideology (besides it being categorically untrue...)

[justanothercinemaniac]

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #196 - The Walk (2015)

Spoilers Below

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: Yes.

Do I remember it: Yes.

Did I see it in theaters: Yes.

Was it a movie I saw since August 22nd, 2009: Yes, #382.

Format: Blu-ray

A note from the original poster:

September 11th, 2001 was a tragic event in not only American history but human history and its events still effect many. I decided to watch The Walk on September 11th because it takes something which primarily has sad memories around it (the World Trade Center) and focuses on a joyful memory instead. Philippe Petit accomplished a feat of pure joy and heart, changing what the towers were to people before they even opened. On a day like 9/11 I know I need to remember that there is good AND there is bad. The Walk is the film equivalent of a happy memory of a late loved one which is why I watch it on this day. I understand that there are those of you who just need to mourn on today and I respect that. The reason I am posting this recap today instead of tomorrow is because in case there is anyone out there like me - someone who needs a happy memory of something that ended in tragedy - they can read it today. I hope that makes sense. And to all those who are struggling with today and what it means to them, know that my thoughts are with you and that I hope you are getting through today as best as you can.

1) One of the very first things Philippe says becomes representative of the entire story.

Philippe: “I do not say this word, death…Instead I say the opposite word: life.”

This is a film about the World Trade Center, even if it’s not about 9/11. But as I mentioned in my note above it is joyful. It is not death it is life, something which permeates every scene and every decision Philippe makes. From the scene where he & Annie are playfully shaking the wire to simulate rough weather conditions, to him jumping around naked on the rooftop, all of it shows such intense LIFE and I think that is just wonderful.

2) The framing device of Philippe on top of the Statue of Liberty telling his story with New York in the background distracted me a little upon first viewing. But you quickly get used to it and I think the framing device works. Primarily because it allows the film to use Philippe’s voice at its strongest.

3) I’ve never fully understood the movie’s decision to start in black and white. The reds and blues are in color which is maybe because these are the colors which are strongest on the French and American flags? But then the color returns in Philippe’s visit to the dentist’s office and a part of me understands why (it’s here where he first learns about the Twin Towers). But also I feel that would’ve been more effective if they’d waited to bring color back into the film when Philippe actually SAW the towers as opposed to entering the dentist’s office. I just don’t fully understand it.

4) Joseph Gordon Levitt as Philippe Petit.

The majority of this film is carried on the character of Philippe and therefore the performance of whoever plays him. He narrates EVERYTHING. His voice is the voice of the film. The action is entirely motivated by his dreams, his actions. He IS the story really, meaning you had to have a strong actor play him. And Gordon-Levitt does absolutely amazingly in the part. Any sense of ego or self washes away because you don’t feel like you’re watching an actor give a performance. You feel like you’re watching Philippe. The actor is able to be incredibly optimistic, positive, occasionally stubborn/arrogant, funny, vulnerable, heartfelt, confident, and genuine in every one of these aspects. He balances the traits of Philippe perfectly which is important in a film about wire walking (see what I did there?). Balance is key. Overplay Philippe’s optimism, he’s naive. Overplay his arrogance, he’s a jerk. Overplay his humor, he’s a clown. But Gordon-Levitt doesn’t overplay any of it but balances it out absolutely perfectly.

5) According to IMDb:

Philippe Petit himself personally trained Joseph Gordon-Levitt how to walk on a tightrope. When the training started, Petit predicted that Gordon-Levitt would need no more than 8 days of training to be able to walk on a wire alone, which came true.

6) Charlotte Le Bon as Annie.

The fact that Annie is able to respect Philippe’s circle (something very important to him as performer) and his craft while also being incredibly mad at him shows an immediate understanding between the two. Le Bon is wonderfully genuine in the part, breathing similar life into Annie that Joseph Gordon Levitt breathes into Philippe. She’s wonderful, genuine, heartfelt, and feels real when the character could’ve easily devolved into a Manic Pixie Dream Girl trope. And her connection/chemistry with Gordon-Levitt is very honest. You are immediately invested in their relationship.

7) This is very telling of the way Philippe sees his art.

Philippe [about when he walks between the towers]: “My performance will not just be a show. It will be a coup.”

This could easily have come off as pretentious, like Philippe is just talking a big game. But through the writing and definitely through Gordon-Levitt’s performance the audience understands that this is honestly how Philippe sees it. He’s not just saying it to brag, to be a grand artist, he just knows that’s what he’s doing and that’s a lot of fun to watch.

8) Ben Kingsley as Papa Rudy.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen Ben Kingsley give a bad performance in a movie. Have I seen him in bad movies? For sure, the guy’s prolific. But I’ve never seen him bad IN a movie. He always fully embraces the part that makes it feel alive and Papa Rudy is no different. But the best part about Papa Rudy is the relationship that he and Philippe have. They bicker A LOT but you come to understand that this bickering comes form a place of concern and (dare I say it?) love for each other. It becomes a wonderful father/son relationship which is one of the most important in Philippe’s life and Kingsley’s portrayal helps the audience understand why.

9) Philippe’s anger at his first failure (falling into the lake, “which is more like a swamp.”) is a wonderful flaw that I really appreciate. Philippe is a very proud person and sometimes he lets this pride get in the way of his relationships with others. But more so it motivates him and he’s able to put that pride aside when it really matters.

10) The Notre Dame wire walk.

This brief but important scene is honestly a wonderful early appetizer of the hope and satisfaction which marks this film and Philippe’s character when he goes out on the wire during the film’s climax. It doesn’t reach that same level of amazing, but few things do. More on that later.

11) I keep bringing this up, but I love that Philippe is portrayed honestly. His flaws, his pride, even his occasional wavering from the task he has set himself upon. The panic upon actually seeing how freaking tall the Twin Towers are is a very honest reaction of someone who wants to do a high wire act up on those towers.

12) The respect that this film pays to the World Trade Center is very strong. We see them as Philippe sees them: beautiful and representative of the opportunity to do something great. They are not some dark shadow that casts over the rest of the film. They’re not sad. They’re amazing and they’re real. The filmmakers put such work into reconstructing the towers for the film that you don’t even think of it as a film set. It’s their way of remembering it and I think that’s just beautiful.

13) Be honest, we all have this friend. Heck, some of us ARE this friend.

Philippe [after Jean-Louis says he’s mad]: “Yes! You love me because I am mad!”

14) Honesty is the best policy, kids.

Philippe [after a TSA agent asks him what he needs all the wiring fire]: “I am going to hang a high wire between the two towers of the World Trade Center and walk on it.”

TSA Agent [after a beat]: “Ha! Good luck!”

15) Philippe’s spy work is a wonderfully lively montage which covers what might otherwise be a very boring part of the film. He’s basically collecting data but it’s so fun we forget that’s what he’s doing.

16) Steve Valentine as Barry.

I have been a fan of Steve Valentine’s ever since I was a kid and he was in “I’m in the Band” on Disney XD. He is a wonderful character actor who is honestly pretty criminally underused in Hollywood. If you just watched this you’d have no idea he is naturally English, that his American accent isn’t real. Valentine’s part might be small compared to some of the other cast members but he uses it well and is INCREDIBLY memorable. I freaking love this guy.

17) And this is the moment you fell in love with JP, Philippe’s newest accomplice.

JP [after Philippe tries to have a private conversation with the others in French and JP responds to it in French]: “Oh you guys thought you were the only ones who spoke French in New York City.”

18) Look, I really like Ben Schwartz. And he’s very good in this film. His character just doesn’t do much. He’s more of a bump in the road (and later pain in the ass) than a developed character. He’s good in the part though, I just always want more of Ben Schwartz.

19) The pre-coup jitters EVERYONE is having is very realistic, especially Philippe’s considering the fact he’s going to be the one on the freaking high wire 110 stories high. The way he refers to the crate with the wiring as a, “coffin,” is very telling. This entire night before is when Philippe is at his shakiest. Not at his most vulnerable though. That’s when he’s on the wire.

20) I’m always surprised by how quickly this movie gets to the day of the coup. Less than half way through and they’re already sneaking around the World Trade Center. I think that’s really smart and honestly organic. It doesn’t stretch the first act longer than it has to.

21) Philippe and Jeff waiting it out.

This is a nice and organic moment to slow down the pacing of the scene, the pair waiting for a guard to leave. I’ve mentioned this before, but Tension doesn’t come from speeding up the scene as much as it does slowing it down. Jeff’s particular fear of heights is very strong here, providing a moment of character analysis for Philippe even as that fear momentarily infects him. It’s just a very nice small moment.

22) So usually when I’m posting about a film I’ll recite the line, “A coincidence that gets the character into trouble is plot.” There are a lot of coincidences and little mistakes which up the conflict and tension of the movie, except here’s the thing: The Walk is based on a real life event with a very popular documentary about it. So the stuff with the nail in Philippe’s foot, the arrow missing its mark, etcetera, that all happened. That’s not an invention. It calls to mind an observation made by Mark Twain: “Truth is stranger than fiction.”

23) A part of me wishes I had seen this film in 3D, because knowing Robert Zemeckis he probably played with the idea of depth beautifully while they’re up on the World Trade Center. But 3D costs money and I was in college at the time (I still am as I write this too, I just decided to say it in past tense).

24) The Mysterious Visitor.

It’s 2017, do we have any idea who this guy was!? Some guy randomly shows up on the tower of the World Trade Center the same day Philippe is going to do his wire walk, says nothing, and leaves. I have two theories about this:

He was a jumper who stopped when he saw other people were up there.

He’s a time traveller from the distant future who wanted to witness Philippe set up his high wire, writing himself into history.

25) I haven’t talked about it yet, but Alan Silvestri’s score for this film is absolutely beautiful. It perfectly stirs the emotion of peace and hope in the film’s audience that Philippe has when he’s on that highwire. I think the main theme for this film is one of the most underrated in movie history because it gives me goosebumps every time I listen to it. Here, have a listen.

26) The Walk.

A climax in a film is typically the moment of greatest tension, but for The Walk it is the moment of greatest euphoria. The moment of greatest joy. No film brings about such a total peace within me as this one does when Philippe takes his first steps onto the high wire accompanied by Alan Silvestri’s amazing score. The extended sequence of MULTIPLE wire walks works beautifully. Yes there are hiccups, there is conflict (a bird, the cops), but more than anything else the sequence conveys to the audience a feeling of one-hundred percent satisfaction and beautiful peace as Philippe is out on his high wire. I’ve seen this film multiple times but this scene always ALWAYS gives me goosebumps and gets me teary eyed. It is beautiful and inspiring and hopeful and just plain moving. I love it with all my heart in a way where I don’t love many films this way. I get such a fountain of euphoria bubbling up inside me and I just ride that wave until the closing credits. It’s amazing.

Philippe [after getting off his wire, to the cops]: “My name is Philippe Petit, I am a wire walker!”

27) There is a line earlier in the film from New Yorkers about how they hate the towers, how they look like giant filing cabinets. And to show you how effective a simple act of pure joy can do, I refer you to this line.

Barry: “They’re different because you walked up there. You know, every New Yorker I talk to now says they love these towers.”

28) There could not be a more perfect closing line to this film.

Philippe [about a visitor’s pass to the World Trade Center]: “And you know this pass I was given? Well, these passes they have a date on them, a date when they expire. But on my pass Mr. Tozzoli he crossed out the date and he wrote on it (small beat), “Forever.”

I have seen 507 different movies in theaters since August 22nd, 2009. I have only ever cried in the following movies (including moves before that day): Bridge to Terabithia, Room, The Imitation Game, and The Walk. I get teary in movies, sure, but the tears usually stay in my eyes. Not in The Walk though. This last line gets me every single time, even today when I watch it. And it goes back to what I wrote at the start of this recap: this movie is a joyful memory that is tied to a tragic event. It is impossible to ever talk about the World Trade Center without remembering all that was lost and all the pain of September 11th, 2001. But this film is able to respect that and still relate a tale of such sheer joy. This movie taught me that the most powerful emotion in the world is a joyful sadness. And I will always be grateful that it did.

The TL;DR version of this is basically note #28, but I’ll repeat why I love this movie anyways. The Walk is beautifully. Wonderfully acted with this incredible story about joy about something (the World Trade Center) that has become such a tragic thing in human history. It makes me cry every single time and it is absolutely one of my favorite movies ever. For those of you struggling with today who took the time to read this whole thing, I truly hope it helps. And for those of you struggling who just scrolled to the end: I hope today was as good as it can be and that tomorrow is better.

[redchocopanda]

As a writer, this actually made me feel better. I've always felt like I need to accept everything thrown at me because they've kept it under the guise of 'constructive criticism' and looking at it as normal because 'you posted it for everyone to see' and can be then 'openly criticized by anyone'. Then when you go and try to defend your art, they make you feel even worse.

And yes, fanfiction is art too. There's a lot of love and care put into it just like any other art form out there.

I tell you, nothing sucks more than spending precious time carefully creating something straight from your heart and is offered freely only to be stepped upon by people who barge in like they own you and leave their shit all over the place like they have every right to do so.

Nobody wants that. I bet, even aliens don't like that.

I'd like to thank whoever written this because it seriously made me realize that it's not me. Heck, I didn't even know that it's not constructive when the story is posted and finished or about gatekeeping. I realized that I'm not the problem. There are just ignorant asshats that shit on anything they don't like even in your own fandom and that's sad because, yes, a fandom is supposed to be that safe place where you can escape to, a community who loves the same things as you and encourages you to turn that love into this beautiful art. People who bring in their toxic negativity just ruin all that. If you really look at it, it's abuse. Verbal abuse. Because it makes you feel worthless and stupid and unfortunately you carry that with you as you go about your daily life OUTSIDE the fandom. It ruins your day, your decisions, your thoughts, everything is affected like a chain reaction. Nobody should have that right over you.

I had serious thoughts about quitting. To stop writing because it has now made me feel bad rather than happy and god, writing makes me so, so happy. It's my escape and all it took for me to feel the opposite way was just one comment. I always say that words can be powerful and they honestly are. So be careful what you say to people because the truth is, once it's out there you can't take it back, ever, EVEN if you change your mind. On that note, it was those encouraging and kind comments that kept me going, kept me writing and learn to do better. To the writers, put your focus on those beautiful comments ONLY. It's hard but it's that mindset to keep going for those sweethearts and not allow those asshats to control your life that made me keep writing.

If you are one of those lovely people, please keep doing what you are doing. It helps, so much.

Unfortunately, not everybody wins that fight and I completely understand that decision to let go and quit. You need to protect yourself from all that unwanted toxicity and hate. Protect your state of mind and your heart. After all, it is discouraging and really, really painful.

I do hope you come back and pull through though. Stronger and overflowing with inspiration to do what what you want to do that no abusive, insensitive comment can tear you down anymore. YOU CAN DO IT, LOVE!

Remember this, without writers or artists there would only be a dead fandom.

Don't let your fandoms die. You are supposed to be family. Be kind, be respectful and PLEASE if you don't like it, LEAVE it. Fandom art is free. It's a gift.

So, if you’ve watched my general meltdown about criticism in fanfiction, I am concerned it may have given you the impression I don’t like constructive criticism or that I somehow can’t handle/take being told I’m wrong. However, that’s not true. I actually LOVE constructive criticism. I have absolutely no intention of “going pro” with my writing, but I LOVE to improve my craft just because it’s something I love to do and I want to be good at it. Ask literally anyone who has ever beta read for me about how I take criticism, they’ll say “very well.”

So if I like to receive criticism, if I absolutely have a thick enough skin to receive it and have a drive to improve, WHY am I throwing punches about unsoliticted criticism in fanfiction?

Because it’s unsolicited.

Because there is a time and a place for it, and after a story is finished isn’t either. Criticism can ONLY be constructive if it’s given during the construction of the piece. After the piece is finished, criticism is no longer constructive; it’s just criticism.

Because I’m not presenting it for critique by random stranger #11429 on the internet, I’m presenting it for enjoyment- both yours and mine. If I was posting it for critique, I would have said so. Many people DO say so, and I hope they get all of it they could possibly want. But I’m not, and most other people aren’t, either. Just because my story is presented in a public forum doesn’t mean I’m asking for it.

Because when I post a story, I’m not in the mindset to receive criticism. When I bring in others to edit my work, I am mentally prepared to be told “ x, y, and z things are wrong and need fixing.” It’s the difference between being ready to take a punch and being cold-cocked without warning. It’s not that I can’t take a punch, it’s that I don’t WANT to unless I’m ready for it.

Because you didn’t give me a choice. I gave you a choice- read this or don’t read this. You chose to read it. You didn’t give me a choice about whether or not to receive your criticism, you just went ahead and punched me.

Because I’ve already done all the editing I’m going to do. By the time a story is posted, it’s already been through alpha reading with me, it’s already been through beta/editing with my beta readers. I’ve put in a lot of work already, and instead of telling me “thanks/good job/I liked this” you’re choosing to say “why didn’t you do more/better” as if the rest doesn’t matter. But it matters to me.

Because I’m doing this for fun, and when people read the thousands of words I’ve put together for them and then focus on the mistakes, it makes writing not fun anymore. If you work really hard to bake someone an awesome cake, hoping they will like it, and they eat it and say “I would have preferred chocolate” or “this 1 flower was messed up” instead of thanking you, it would really suck. Same deal. I work to write stories I enjoy and that I think others will enjoy, but it’s a real killjoy when someone swoops in just to talk about what went wrong.

Because it’s unsolicited. If I’m out in public and some person I don’t know tells me “you’d be prettier if you let your hair down,” that’s unsolicited criticism, too. It’s different if I say to a friend, hey, how could I improve my appearance and they say “you should let your hair down.” Same words, but context matters. Who is delivering the criticism matters.

And those are just the reasons I personally don’t want criticism on my fanfiction, even though I’m fully capable of handling it. For others, all of the above may apply and more.

In addition to this, I’d like to make a few more points about the arguments I have seen.:

Gatekeeping hurts everyone. Almost every single argument I’ve seen in favor of unsolicitied criticism has boiled down to gatekeeping. What is gatekeeping? The action of controlling (and restricting) access to something. In this case, fandom and fanfiction.

When you say any iteration of “Back in MY day, people got and gave criticism freely, new people should have to accept crit too” what you’re doing is gatekeeping. You’re saying “you shouldn’t be able to participate in fandom unless you go through the same experiences I went through.” That’s not correct. Fandom is for anyone that can adhere to the current etiquette of fandom. 

What you are doing when you say “If you only want positive feedback, only share with people you trust” is gatekeeping. You’re saying “you shouldn’t participate in fandom unless you’re willing to be hurt.” That’s bad. No one should have to be hurt to be in fandom.

What you are doing when you say “If you don’t want crit, don’t post your story” is gatekeeping, and in a REALLY harmful way. Without fans creating work (fanfiction or art or meta), there is no fandom. You’re not only saying “you can’t be in fandom if you don’t want to be hurt” you’re actively calling for fandom to be cut down. That’s a bad thing. Fandom needs creator content in order to exist and grow.

What you are doing when you say “it’s unfair to accept positive feedback if you won’t accept negative feedback” is gatekeeping. You are telling people they can’t be in your community if they set boundaries. You are telling people that they can’t be in fandom if they only want to have a good time, they have to be willing to be hurt, too. That’s wrong. Fandom isn’t about hurting each other.

When you tell writers that they are consenting to criticism by posting in public, you are gatekeeping AND violating their consent. You are saying that their work isn’t allowed to exist in fandom’s shared space unless the writer forfeits consent. That’s not true. Fanfiction writers can and should set boundaries for their interactions with people in fandom specifically because we don’t have a publishing company standing between us and you.

Which brings me to another point- when you say that people should accept criticism because that’s how they improve, what you are doing is gatekeeping. You are saying that anyone that does not want to improve doesn’t belong in fandom. That’s not true. Some people just want to have fun, and they are every bit as welcome in my communities as anyone else.

Any iteration of “the world is a harsh place” is, you guessed it, gatekeeping. It’s saying that people don’t belong in fandom if they can’t tolerate being treated just as poorly here as in the physcial world. That’s bullshit. Fandom is supposed to be safe. Fandom is supposed to be a caring community that takes care of its own. Fandom isn’t the physical world, it’s space made by fans for fans where we can be ourselves and be gentle with one another. If it’s not, if you really do think fandom is as hard as the real world, then you should be looking for ways to makes your edges soft. You can’t change the world, but you can make sure you, personally, are not making the situation worse.

Some people will say things like “if it can be corrected in a matter of seconds, it’s okay” (for example, typos) and liken that to a stranger pointing out you’ve got spinach in your teeth. It’s not the same. A stranger pointing out you’ve got spinach in your teeth does so in the most discreet way possible- by pointing without speaking or by speaking in a low voice so that only the stranger and you are made aware of your issue. Leaving a comment which points out even small things like typos is done in a public, open space where everyone can see, AND it leaves behind a mark; even if a writers fixes the issue, the comment is still there declaring that there was one. If you want to use the spinach analogy again- a stranger has just declared to everyone in the room that you’ve got spinach in your teeth, and pinned a note to your apparel which notifies anyone in the future that you DID have spinach in your teeth even if it’s gone now.

Some people will say things like “Well I want criticism!” and go on to imply that anyone that doesn’t is some variation of weak/thin-skinned. This is an argument I don’t understand at all. Of course some people can’t handle it; those are the people we need to protect, not the people we need to attack. Everyone is different. We all have different backgrounds. We are all here for different reasons. If you want criticism, you can give active consent! You can say you welcome it, that you want it. You wanting criticism does not in ANY way mean we should strip consent away from other people. It means you know you can take a punch; it doesn’t mean we get to punch anyone we feel like at any time.

I think, at the end of the day, that the real world is a harsh and unforgiving enough place that we don’t need to bring that into our home. Fandom is a place of love. It is a place of safety. It is a place of giving, of fun, of freedom. We don’t have to have sharp edges and tongues here.

We can afford to be nice to one another in fandom.

After all, fanfiction is free.

[throwingideasatthewall]

Clone Wars     Episode 18

         Mystery of a Thousand Moons

 So,    Mystery of a Thousand Moons

Starts   with a really strong quote

   “ A single chance is        a galaxy of hope,”

   And into the episode

    “Hard pressed Jedi,”

      [Shows Ahsoka]

       Ah, mate?            that is one of the biggest Mary Sue’s in the series,           Reason you can’t see her face?            She’s smiling

       Good

       Alright

       Okay

      “ everyone on Naboo would be dead now,”

         .....    

         That         assumes           that           they         would           be         very     unaccountable         and        toxic

    Like,       no      one      they      had       to       blame        but   themselves,       for      that

  Just another boring day saving the universe....

   You did help

   I will give him that

   Obi-Wan did do something        in the previous            Episode

                      A child soldier also had a fight his battles

 But that’s besides the   point

Theed

Pretty sure that’s a war crime

   *Surprised there not taking him to the Galactic government for that

    Whelp

      Virus           Bombs

      Okay...?

      So it didn’t dispose

   So long as you established some mild amount of accountability

    And locked him up

   That shouldn’t be a   problem

  A droid must’ve taken it........

    These episodes never do start off           on the right foot               do they?

      It’s always some hilarious miscarriage of logic                Turning out to be true

Okay, where does this            lead?

      Aight

 Okay, bullshit, movie               You showed that little fucker running away       When     his      shit    was      taken

  Truly doubt he has such specific programming as to ran away when object of your concern has been taken but resume       oper     -ation                     And        Track          A         Vial          That          Could         be       Anyway

     It’s not impossible but it is damn well    unlikely

    So they didn’t destroy these      fuckers

    ??

   Heck

   Whelp

   Bull-shit

    [ You can tell     they didn’t plan this shit        in advanced]

      We saw that little   fecker - there was    nothing in his hands

       Really ret-con        ning

       It’s not worthy of a    sin on its own;       But it’s a damn good way to     piss off your audience!

   Hopefully the episode is         worthy of that             ret-con

       Doomed

 Oh they’re actually         taking him    some what     seriously

 That’s-       A bit      better

 Not  Perfect

  Okay

  Bullshit

   Dude  

    Might’ve        Been         Self-           Destructive           But          he at least had the intell        -igence not to auto-        Mate it-

    Wait,          It       Caused           An        Earth        Quake?        (We did see the security system overreact, so I’m not going to call that one too harshly 

     Also, okay

    Lock down the lab    quarantine those fuckers         And they will be fine    in like five days        (Maybe more if you want to like        pass them some             ibuprofen)

        This is fine

         Safe              room

           This is the place of a mad (unaccoun-         table doctor - who thought killing people was a      good idea-”

    You’re honestly    going to trust the safe       room?

    Better        idea;  get the       fudge out of there

 (And again just toss whoever got sick      some ibuprofen)

   Problem solved

   Seriously

      They          Have           Masks

     They’re         Adults

       They’re            Fine             .....

        Okay,      Padme

   ....

  Okay,  she does have the. thing

   (Not sure if it was in a      previous scene - I wasn’t paying attention    that much)

    Anakin

  Hey, the only character I actually care about is   here!

  (He’s the only one         whose sickness isn’t         his own fault

      Okay

    Yeah sucks      that no one else got those protective suits

      Well at least all the sick guys some    ibuprofen

      (I’ll try to keep the ibuprofen jokes down to a   minimum)

      Ahsoka,  has sealed off the entire    facility

     Cool, pass people down there some food   (and medicine) and wait for it to pass   down

       Droids

       Break out

   You locked down the facility?

  How can the dude unlock it   down?

   Can’t you just-

    No, sit in quar       -antine

     Let the people out      side keep the door shut

      And don’t feck around     with this thing

  “Be    care-ful,”

   No      one        is

   Put this        on

   “You’re bringing the       child?! ‘

     Why?

      He’s - like,               The only one               of you guys can get sick from this thing!

          Aight

         Ahsoka

Oh, yeah   let’s drag the other child soldier into this!

  (Are      you trying to get everyone killed?]

   Seriously

   Droids

   Dude,      Seriously

   Also you asking the “Mad” (Unaccountable!) scientist,        For the antidote?

     Scour on the planet

     You’ll likely find some (medicine) ibuprofen, capable of lessening the side effects, and compatible with their biology

     Rule

     Manufacture a plague

     That’s        really     impossible       unless      everyone         is         an      unaccountable         (Like in order to get that it should’ve killed you too)  

     And (Possibly)  anyone nearby

  Who    wasn’t     Practic      -ing       Account-

Per     son     ally                  Bull-shit

   That      this      works

   “Cure,”

    Stop      poking        the     wound

     Someone wants to fuck around with mother nature and pay the consequences that’s their own prerogative

     So long as you   don’t fuck    around with mother      nature, it         ain’t         Your       Pro      blem

 “Games,”

   So stop dealing with that fucker and go toss the clones some       food

    Or look for some damn     ibuprofen

 (I’m sorry    it’s becoming the      running joke        of this episode)

                                                    Seriously this                                                      guy should be                                                           dead

                                                       Unless                                                            he had a damn good healer on his team

                                                         Whom I respect                                                            immensely, having to deal with the majority of individuals who decide to, “ fuck around and find out,”

                                                       Who decide to say, to mother nature, nah                                                            I got this

                                                         And hold them                                                             accountable

                                                            * having both the ability and mak- ing the decision, to do so

                                                         And that’s feckin  

                                                            Ballsy

                                                         on the other hand whoever                                                 cured this guy clearly wasn’t practicing                                                              accountability,   

                                                     As if mother nature decided this guy was                                                           too stupid to live, you sure                                                           bet he’s not coming back into society 

 *Should

 Kill me now         I sure          wish       they would  

(Un-            Accou           n            -tability) 

unaccountable        freak               of          nature

 “ first droid breaks out of that laboratory,”

  There’s one

  Also well guess    we’re sealing it off till it      dies           Bye       Made,    Man

     Didn’t they say it was eradicated?

    Through the adjacent        herb

    Put in accountability

   There we go

   Problem       solved

   Fastest way to        save

   Again throw a     Tylenol           (Yes I have changed the thing,”

   Find an actual antidote

  Again is there not one?

   Toss the herb  

   Throw them in accountability               Standard              procedure

     Aight

    There they go

    Whelp

   In here

   Thought that was reasonable

   Dead         Man

   You’re wearing masks

   And are adults....

    Again yeet a Tylenol

     Send them to        Accountability

If there’s anything we should be worried about is         Ahsoka

   Yeet her into       stable           environment 

    And....    hope for the best

    Not       sure how badly this would affect someone who can’t assume authority/         (/accountability)

    The best course of action          is just to not let them near that kind of stuff

     I don’t know what kind of        idiot decided against that    

    *unaccountable

    Almost, certainly         the same one that decided to bring the other one           unaccountable

      Into the situation

    Aka our toxic “love birds”   of stupidity

   Stop that droid...

   My master....       Will find a cure        For the      virus

 Wasn’t the cure already found?

 Like,      Everyone’s still alive

  And, we have recollection of it

  (Which wouldn’t be possible...)

   Dead yet

    Yeah          let’s drag her into a virus affected room without any knowledge

    Contaminated

    Again,  these fuckers decided to takeoff       their helmet

    Is there no regulation??

   Like, if they die      it’s on their own screwup

      No sympathy

   *Like I want them to reach a healer and       be held      ac        -countable          If     anyone       can       and      wants         to         is     another     argument      entirely

  Healing       is      not       a   guaranteed     ability

  In    the   direct     line       of   productivity     you   shouldn’t      be    fucking    around     with     things       that      could       get      you     killed       or     mother     nature

 So someone that will heal you from your   own   unaccountable   actions

Is   not     a   guarantee

 Like    with    food     or    water

  Move them away from you for Jesus Christ sake

   Like, seriously

   Neither of you are healers...

   And Ahsoka can’t assume accountability

   Aight,      Back to this      Scene 

   Right,         Okay

   Treachery

   Great...

   Antidote

   I think I found the answer for you

   No shit

   Okay,          the         ....      The captain of the guard doubles as a       healer

    Good for him

    Good to know he has that ability

    Rep        Syrup

   Aight

    Iego?

    ....

  Okay     bullshit     movie

  Compatible         cures           can            only              be             found                on               planets                 with              compatible              eco- ology

           Meaning                the cure              (the best cure)              (Or healer)               Should be              on planet

           Possibly                near                  the                  area

              Point being                     this should be on                     planet

                 And a great chance to show some nice        scenery

                And use the new queen

               And show Amidala reacts to how things have changed since she became senator...

I’m   disappointed

 That’s why most    find-a-cure- missions

 Because why would    planet fuck it have     a cure    for an   incompatible species?

You can’t   just toss    that thing up

 Deep separatist     controlled        space

   Seriously?

    Does    no one have a      greenhouse?

 (Herb     focuses       aren’t     necessary,        but I did figure there’d be one gardening       person!)

   Move cautiously

    Seriously,          Is there           no      Active     Healer        Focus-       Es-      Or    even      a    herb    guy?

 (It’s possible    it’s just really     weird)

 We did see doctors

 I mean.       Why       Can’t         You        Send      One       Of           Them?

      Like the system’s already    enabling

      You’re telling me there’s, not,  like one      neutrally enabled          herb          guy          That isn’t just like               Yeah, dude      what did you get into..?  

        Oh shit, yeah let me throw some reet wood on that, dude

       Again,          Possible

       Just out        of the ordinary

  “There’s no time         for caution,”

    Whoa, whoa, where did that come from?

   NOW he’s scared about      Ahsoka??

 (Like normally       (And I mean normally is in        Ahsoka not being an abomination of nature,        That would be kind of normal        And a reason to       fret, because        We don’t know- if that        kid will survive)

   But-

   It’s really un      earned  

  -Just      Every    where

   No humanity      to any of      this

  “And so is      Padme,”

   Obi-wan         Narrow      -ing      eyebrows

     Seriously?

        Like even by your own rules you should care about your        senator

      This is just   really un-earned

       Like,         You did no part to earn       that,  movie

  You didn’t set up Obi-Wan is a demanding       and/or intimidating individual

  You didn’t set up Anakin as a child following orders and having to correct at said orders/responses

      Or

An adult that is continuing to enable Obi-wan’s behavior

   You haven’t even set up     whatever Anakin/Padme      ‘s relation-ship          is supposed    to be

   You’ve been writing       (and having them            acted)             Like some          alien hybrid        that’s only job         is to be       an asshole

   As such I can’t take any of this with          any bit of seriousness

   The tone struggling on light         unrealistic-ness

     You need some hum       -anity

  Cause those things      aren’t human

  “ it’s a suicide mission     once we contain the virus,”

    Are you     actually going to start doing that?

     Letting them die out             Or              Getting a damn            Healer?

   -troops

   Aight

   Also how deadly is this    thing supposed to be?

   [The thing about healers      that makes them so specific,        There’s A) having access to the plant of       whatever you fecked with        (Having        Herbs on        deck when      you       do)          And the knowledge of which       plant will actually fix the problem   

    (Exclusive to           them.)

    Also,              The willing      -ness]

    Point             Being;         How rare is ibuprofen?

    There are no other medics

    And, you can’t toss them          down some food?

    ....

    Like, seriously

     What are your troops    even doing?

     (They don’t seem to be quarantining!)

     (I concur)

  Seriously,      

   Okay,

   Also, yeah, how’s that awkward car ride going to be?

    ....

What-ever

    No show of Obi-wan as he used to be

   No actual resent-ment from Anakin

         The main reason    most people decide to enable

   Just...        Hey, they’ll be fine!

     (Nothing told]

  “ if we suc       -ceed,”

   Again you set up no     risks-

   This thing could kill them      today or      tomorrow;          I have no idea

      I don’t

     Oh, ok   now there’s other droids!

    [This is getting very        heavily bullshit]

     Also you’re trusting       basically clankers            to open the door?

       Good for    you...

     “How we going to get out?”

     “Not our  problem,”

    Well, there        went any medium         of slight risk

      Neat

   Dude,      cou-      ghing

Seriously,  winner,           of the Darwin award          over here

        (Why?)

       Whelp

        Oh they’re standing right behind the      child      how nice

  My pity is       feckin minimal

    Okay

    We’re right outside your safety room

   Okay, great

     ‘ can you get the door open,’

      Oh, yeah that’s great

   Like not only should we let the     de-adly virus into the room

    Let the vulnerable      child get the door

  Great job         Amidala

  Any other        Babies        You       want         to      murder?

   “ go     ahead       Jar-       �� jar,”

   Did you ask the      other kid       to do it for you

    Fecking brilliant

      Didn’t even try to see if Rex and their others were wearing the helmet

   Just....    

   Amidala            Trash

   (Where        she      belongs)

    (You cannot convince   me           she isn’t the villain)

    “i’m sorry Ahsoka”

  For     what,     endangering         a     child        (To    possible     death)

    Because that’s the only reason that         she     would       be   apologizing

  Here;      it    makes     no    sense

 “ we still have       a     job      to     do,”

  No you don’t

  You heard the   droids...

   They don’t give a   shit...

   ....

  Emm

  Able

   Oh also now everyone has their      helmet      off

 Winners of the Darwin award,         This Squad

    Now      they’re          on

     Geez, that really    helps...

   ....

  Cutting through the     wall,..

   And now they care....

  This episode    really is setting       a bad       example         For        What       Justifies       Using         A         Ret-        Conn        For         ...     Okay someone’s helmet’s going to get broken...

  Aight

  Ahsoka is just plain      fecking fine

  Good to know that I will never have to worry about       her this entire episode

   Don’t open      that hatch?

    Again,           how?

   They....

  Hmm        ....         Aight

  This

 Grave- yard

  Those are       rocks

  Now their        ship parts...

  Okay

  Simple      Enough...

   No        AA       Guns

 Aight

 alright     don’t       try        to       land     anywhere       subtle

  (Not like in an unidentified ship Landing in the port will raise any    questions)

 (Obi-wan       loves       conflict)

    See?

    You       can’t        not     notice      that

 Every       one       is     down        for    murder

 (Specifically       of        the        roombas)

   Death     roombas

  Anakin

🎵 No emotion 🎵

     None       What-so-ever

  “Welcome to         Iego,”

     Not...    Death     Roombas?

   No          Guns....

  ANAKIN!

.............. ......           WTF

(Anakin’s      an    asshole!)

(Like     I don’t care how they try        to play that off..)

  He’s        Irredeemable

  (Nothing      after this      is surprising)

  Like      they could’ve been     sentient

  And regardless      wrecking someone’s shit  (that isn’t made for practice exercises)

   (More then       five times!)

      Toxic...       Beyond redemption

      (Or anything else besides accountability...      ..)

    Not relatable

   Dick move

  Seven       Teen

 I don’t think   they were battle droids mate

I think they were just automated      welcome

  Anakin destroyed someone’s prized  welcome droids

  That they may just to make people..     happy

  There isn’t exactly a rule about property ownership...            Wait, yes there is...

   Don’t be a      dick!

   (Don’t be a              dick!!)

   (You can’t kick them from       society for it...)

    But...you can bar them from your place

   Not cool...

   Dick

   “18, actually,”

    Shut up.

    J.Bo

    Probably         the       owner         of        the   establishment       you       just     trashed...

   Dick....

  Droids...

   He has      a point

   Not a        Kid

   Really...     has       gone        off        the          deep      end 

   Rash

   No        ...

  Well     a screw in my brain has clearly come loose....

  We already have one badly written      child   character

  Two    in    doubt

  And    now    this..

 Hm    

If you don’t want to write decent child characters      don’t         write     them

 (And      I     mean         don’t       write                               them,         Child       Characters)

   Write          adults    

   (And      I      mean          do           it      properly,       Don’t          childify                Them

    And pretend          like they aren’t        accountable          for their          actions               ......         As              you            can           tell              I’ve            gone            to         some          thing           of             a             Tranquil         fury             state               Now       paying attention        after     Anakin     screwed         with           a        bunch               of      dude’s             property           .......     But there’s really nothing on screen to justify it

    Do        you     know       what    would’ve     been     better?

    If Anakin had actually run into a semi accountable adult, Who bought him from his establishment under said reasons, and that was the core conflict, with Obi-Wan talking to the owner,              And Anakin left to contemplate his action

     Possibly deciding to fix the droids,                  Not out of any attempt             for forgiveness,

     But just because

     Showing            the          realization of the effort it takes to                                                             make                                                           something

       Or        possibly      deciding             to        destroy         them         more

   Showing        his       shift       from        his           original        state

   Possibly         some        resentment          towards          his         origin

      And..  how a good thought can be twisted it into a          bad action

  Children         aren’t        spoiled

   They repeat actions         they have            have been            ordered          to       repeat

    The giving of initiative          to this child

    Makes me       worried that       writers are      victim blaming         Children

 And a popular ‘look at this spoiled brat, he’s clearly responsible for his condition,’ ‘Isn’t that funny’ attempt to dodge responsibility, when in reality it has never been funny, always toxic, And it says nothing good about the medium or the writer who decided to write it 

 Even writers to attempt to mock this trope, Are in thin leniency,     

Because       the     only     way      to    stop    seeing      this      Trope,        is        to      stop      writing         it

    So        it      can      die

  Where       writing         like       that     belongs

   You        know      what     would         be      interesting?

    And adult character      written       like         that

   (Because         adults         are       actually       capable          of         malician

     Unlike       children

     Much          more       realistic

     Much         funnier         for      everyone        involved

 (Including       the      audience)

    And    without       that      pesky    concern that         enabling (and encouraging) the thoughts that children are capable of     malacian              And should be held to the same    standard               Is      Morally        Wrong

  Now continuing on with the   story

   “Droll,”

  That..     Poor      Droid

   Planet

 [you know it would make a lot more sense for him       to be here alone         If he was an adult

    And for “Droll”          , to leave a rich millionaire         on an uncharted planet            Alone.                 ......    

   Continuing            on...

     ....

[you are here         how child        who shouldn’t        be capable          of intuitive]

     50 tried         50 died

       How long have you been around to          see that          happen?

       Droll

       Why?

       You         have           to         get          a        plant

     Nothing           About

    [also how much cooler do you think it would’ve been if those have been   child soldiers and this was an adult just cautiously,         No caution - referen         -ing          How       they         died        like        a      sporting       event?

 Possibly showing Obi-wan’s        enabling side?

    Instead of        this      monstrosity?

    Ok,        we’re      here      now

  Don’t know where     those things came from since they just defeated      the battalion      before hand

  Okay

      Alright

    No        Risk

  ....

  [Some   -one      gave       the       child            a         gun...

      !

   Okay

    What            The          Fuck

     You         put        those       eyebags          of     “sickness”          back        where         they         belong        movie

     You’re        (Your)    Mary Sue        didn’t         earn        them

     And      showed         no       signs      before

   While soldiers in almost         complete armor were coughing up their lungs

    Senator’s         Screw-ed

     Show         off       those      eye-bags          of         death        now       movie 

     they       weren’t        there        before

     Anyway                .....

       ......

       Don’t             Care

        (Skip)

       (Emotionally!)

         Look              Fine

         Back             Here

         Why?

         Why             are             they              on               a             cliff?

          Movie,                you              didn’t               explain            anything

         Something                    .....                 Roots

           Vine

           Plants              don’t                 like                  it

[do you know this would be a normally philanthropic gesture, from someone ( an adult,) who seemed otherwise un-interested and     enabling of a bad situation

Here        It’s       Just                  🖕

  (Dropped          it)

      On          my       way         to       find        my    decreasing-

     Oh       there         it         is        at       the    absolute    bottom

 Because        I     don’t         give      a        shit-

 Teeth

  There’s no teeth there      animators

    Xandu

    Great

     That

      He        found         one

     Hope              on

     Whelp           (        )

      Good             Idea

        It Wasn’t

        ...

       We’re  back to the hatch

   Why

  Okay

   How do you know where they are   

how do you know there’s more

  Lots   of things being skipped over

  And I don’t have the time       to format them

 (Nor the patience...

    Okay

    Really       risking        it

    Argh

    Don’t.     Care

   Alright

    Yes   

Surprisingly

  Despite       all     logic

  🖕        This

  How    Specific      are       they

   ...

  What?

   What       was         I   supposed       to      get     there     animators?        (Or       voice       actors)

   .....

   Hm

  They didn’t hit the...

   Wtf?

   Okay

    Again why are the teeth     doing the thing??

  No explanation

   “Hurry,”

      It’s           Bed          Rock

      Screw            Cure

      “You             Made               It”

         Again            could’ve             been                  a              cute            moment                 .....            Instead

           Well                 Spice

            So                he’s not alone

             (Also how    with that supposedly big threat?

              That’s             supposedly             devastated                 several                ships

             Also      so his parents were some old time             Mogul

         What a been nice to have an adult             voice this

           Using the back water               as a justification

            Here;                   It’s just                nothing

              Left

              Can’t                 leave                   because                   of                   the                  cur(ve)

                Nice                 justification

                Would be nice if it came out of an actual adult

                  Instead of this walking horror        abomination of nature

                  Curse

Okay, movie    

you might have me back

Does the curse

 Possibly revert

 Him

  To a younger age?

   Cursed?

   Any one     going to explain that

    Cursed by who my    twitchy friend?

     No start with a          “what is the curse              ?”

     Droll

   “A Ghost?”

   Shut up Anakin    

There are       force ghosts

  Also- seriously

  We’re mashing            those         two tropes?

     Also why do you       care?

    You      have      people        to      save

   You      have        time         for      weird      curse        bullshi-         (Sorry          too       ag-   gressive)                Later

   Now          is       not       the       time...

    You      know       what?  

    Maybe         it         is-

    BECAUSE       THE       STORY        HASN’T      CLARIFIED         ANYTH-

        I         am         very          angry          at           the        story        right        now

    Mainly               For~

    Anyway .....       .......       Our          Protector

     Don’t fuck around with   magic

        Specifically                Luck

         Because it    wouldn’t exist if people are accountable

          And             the            world            does             not            deal            with          slackers            lately

       (Trust             me               I            know)

         Destroy              all

          Not very specific

          Also    what’s that curse about then?

         Cause             you’re              still              alive

       “Super-stition,”

          Obi-Wan                said               language

              Also Obi-Wan your Council turns into force - ghosts

            You, shut the fuck up                   (Lightly]

               Okay

    That proves     literally nothing

  Also “friend”,       He’s        severely      older than you

   Also I guarantee it’s going to be like an       AA tower or something

 Something explainable

  (Not a bad thing      it’s actually a pretty good thing on logic)

   Just saying   a lot of jumped beliefs

  And the kids shouldn’t care about it

 At most,  trained      to wince at it’s name

    Okay...

   Whatever old man,-

    Let’s go fight that monster

  (Or AA tower)

  Or whatever   it is

 Okay

  Taken as a   challenge

  Alright

 Okay

 Seriously    what is Droll??

   Aight          Okay

   “ blew up those   ships,”

   Besides an        electromagnetic          field             And their own incompetency?

      Okay

      Real we can handle

    Yeah

   Unless it requires him to be an     actual adult..

    Too bad    I really like those guys

     Children           can’t         Li-

   What-ever

[ How long till they crash?]

     Help

    More then he should be able to

    Kid

   The only acknowledgment of something that shouldn’t      exist

   Aka..

   THAT’S NOT A FUCKING, KID!

         Aka, it’s an abomination             of fucking nature!

                                     That’s                                         what                                           it is!

             Al-right

 Give him the com?

  And that’s when it hits him...

Like    I’m   100%   betting     (Not     Act-ually)       That       the       kid        is        “behind”.       it

   Aka        Shit   happens      right      after          he      asked  

   Meant          to          be      (dramatic)        irony

      But comes across as a kid          pulling the strings

   Okay,

    Not Gonna notice     that?

    Oh now you do

   What is it

    Okay,          how do they not know that’s what that is?

 Also, only for people going out

     Weird Separtist flex but Okay

So what       next?

   No

  Turn the ship around

  That - would be a good idea

  Destroy the-      satellite-

   Aight-

   Anakin, sees your odds-  

   And decides- 

   fuck yes you have a point

    Turn around

    Turn around

    Tell those guys what happened

     (Also all those previous       pilots just did not give a fuck!)

    Screw with the satellite!

    ....

   Leaving the planet

   Weird

   Again, weird flex

   ... But okay

     Back

  ‘They decide (not) to wear the shield like an idiot...’

   ‘Muddled crowd displeasure before dispersing’

      ‘wanted to hear squash’

        Some guy

        *some            separtist              guy

    Like all the adults know what’s going down in the circumstance and just decide to fuck with the foreigner

“Master,”

  Asoka   calling    her    mom

    Also no movie you can’t make me feel bad for               Ahsoka

       Amplify           the          signal

       How?

      Aight

 “Destroyed      all the droids    in the compound,”

   Oh yeah so now you know the    exact number

  Also, hey Amidala,         Do you want to talk about how you       scripted a child       (Out of the safety*            Of the chamber,)

    To fight your damn battle?

   No one’s going to bring up that          unfortunate implication?

  That’s not a mood killer            for you?

         ........          Open this           bunker....

        Why?

      Seriously

       The bunker...    Is not that serious a deal

        Seriously they were acting like this thing stays          infectious             for           forever

          Like it has infinite viability

         Also what about food and water?

       What about medicine?

  What about....

 Er...

Goodbye Aniken

I’m sorry   child killer   was I supposed to sympathize with you?

Because I don’t

Also, ‘goodbye’?

From cutting the com?

 Because literally   nothing else has been established about it?

  Heck Ahsoka’s been running around with no protection and           is not dead

  So clearly not that big of a deal

  Like     she’s got a light cough      (And heavily developed eyebags somehow)

.......

No seriously

   All she did was cut the com so       she could get some rest

  That’s....literally all that seems to be established

    (Yeah,        I know they’re trying to imply that she’s dying

    But you need to establish-)

   Power converter

   How is that going to help?

  “slow down Anakin,”

  Again maybe he can      maybe he can’t

     Literally nothing

   Or possibly been a good establishing moment       about Obi-Wan’s enabling tendency       (And disregard for human      life,)

    Or Anakin fighting against enabling          (Or the urge to         enable)

      But nothing

    “ they’re dying,”

   Or have a light cough       and want to take a nap

        Seriously      slow down you psycho

       “Two steps back,”

       Um, no

   Like,         this could’ve been a good moment

  About,        how Obi-Wan is trying to get him to enable or outright screw over the next generation

    Trying            to         stall         him             Under the guise        of helpful        advice

But there’s just    nothing

“Will to jump,”

  No, it     requires       the    personal    Account         ability      and      respect       (Of    yourself)       Mixed      with       the    sentience,     development        and       most         importantly,        Actualization             Of            An            Adult

    Which        the       tone        refuses         to      commit           to

    The conversation being as compelling as between two anthropomorphized blobs

   Refusing           to          Hold         Anakin       Accountable           For          His         Actions

                              While                                Obi-wan                                     is                                    also                                    let                                   off                                  too                                    light

[We    need      a      lot     more     mother      Gothal       and      less     kicked        puppy      dog)

   As     well      as    internal   struggle

(Obi-wan        is       not       the      hero       in      this         one,        Movie)

    There            is         no        good       enabler

  “At   least        hear        me     out        on    this,”

Yeah     listen      to     the   narcissist.           (One      who       is    completely       ok      with     child   grooming.)

 (Multiple   occasions)

  Citizens       of         a       Llego

  Oh so you have time for a     committee!       (This       is      why      you     don’t     trust      an   enabler (narc)     with      the     plans:

  They      are       far     more   interested       in     getting     approval          (For   themselves!)     then     actually      fixing         the     problem

   This       is       why         we      have       the      rule       of      five

   So    some    asshole     doesn’t      slow     down   productivity    (among      other     things)       because       they       can’t       get      over      their      ego

  (Or     the     benefit       of    humanity      over   themselves)

   All the adults already know this thing      isn’t a ghost

  And all the     kids can’t help    and shouldn’t be involved

  This is literally     just an ego trip      for Obi-Wan

  Nonsense

  And this dude

  Who clearly       Must’ve been      Alive 

  Or at least knowingly decided to spew this bullshit

 Because no one‘s first thought is the supernatural

(Seriously)

 (Who even bothers thinking about      that?)

  (When you have a life to live)

   (No hate)

 Just there’s plenty of time to contemplate     death

   (Don’t know why anyone would want to)

  Without, you know, screwing up everyone   else

   (Mostly)

Seriously, just don’t argue with    narcs

  Just send them to accountability        (Be accountable yourself)

    Okay

    Angels

    Shiny

    What

     WTF

    Why

    What         is     occurring.?           .....    

   Stole       our     moon

    ?

 Also   seriously?

   Is it really time for        prehistoric       chatter         about the long list of tox and baggage these guys have         accumulated?

     You know where the problem is, you know it’s probably uninhabited           (This place looks       pretty damn ancient)

      So, just...

    Look I know why Obi-Wan isn’t doing it...         But seriously a waste of time for Skywalker to be        you know   fighting his inner demons          About      enabling        this      bullshit

     As          an     adult

 Which      he       is     written      as

  With     actualization

 [              ]

  Long      sigh

  Minus        Prime

 Seriously       do      we     have     time      for      this?

   Also what about that some thing another guy

   Valley

   Down       The        Thing

   Nobody       ever      goes      that     way

 Now on a different   planet        ....      What

Milius     Prime          .......

Vulture    droids ........

Why?       .......

Don’t we have?

Argh      ....... 

my brain is honestly pretty fried at this point

That’s -  that’s   too many details

    ... most of them   irrelevant

 Remote    control

  Please...       Wrap            it       up

   Okay

  Alright

What-ever

  Just...   get it over with

  Lazar     Admitter        .....        Wait, what?

 When was a        laser admitter        Brought         Up?

   What          About         The         Milius...

  Why...

(I fecking hate             Literary           (And plot)      Littering

    Good       stories         live          by       Chekov’s              Gun

     Die          by       the    accountability      scale

   Which by     if two people die         then   two people must live        (Be born)

 And that gun        better be    feckin fired

Because that     information     takes up     valuable      space

  We were         Introduced           To the      Forbidden            Path       Thing... A while     ago

   On      the     same     planet

 (Supposedly   somewhere        in          the      distance)

 Now we’re    about to leave the planet..

 Where’s the      gun shot....?

   Seriously what’s in the distance?

  Oh   so there’s somehow water

   Also   everyone just fecking around

    Great,        I care about none of these characters

      Except            the          Baby

     [Where’s          Jar-Jar?]

      Aight

     What           a        waste

    Completely          their          own          fault

      And          yours’

     Child       killer!            (Or guess only     Asoka directly,)

        And dragged     Jar jar into the situation

        Like this is completely her      own fault

    “Born to do,”

    I’m sorry were you going for an actually serious     moment?

    Like that was actually a surprisingly     self-aware moment

    Shame we don’t know if that guy is dead

  Or anything   about the situation      That would      make it     even the      tiniest bit      stressful          .......     

    The scene and everything I think it’s trying to      go for

     Nah

    You didn’t earn it         .....

“Sacrifice,”

 Again, so he’s dead now??

  Seriously, what

 Who was that?

 How?

 How long?

???????         ??

  You       are      bad        at     setting        up        a        story

[The who what where are changes on a feckin dime

The risks,      as such,      Are   non-existent

And no idea

What the heck is going    on

[besides a basic blueprint    of what I think the writers are trying to pull]

 [from past experience]

 (They literally didn’t set up anything)

  (Anything)

   (What-so-ever)

    Must      believe

      Must believe in     feckin what?

      Padme told him not to open the   door

     (For fuck all reason)        

     ....

     .......

    What am I supposed to feel?

    It’s literally no odds

   No established risk...

   “Ahsoka!”

   Oh, she fell asleep 

    Feckin drama queen

Also you   

you did that

Good job      “Amidala”              The feckin       child killer               .....

  Argh

   Whelp

   Back to these frickers fricking around

Really     increases      the    feeling       of      those    nonexistent      odds

   As     well        as        the   completely   non-consistent     pacing       ...

Great

Okay

Just get it over with....

 What...

 Who things don’t look like what we saw   before...

Heck, they don’t even look like   vultures

“Vulture,”

 Alright

[Rolls-         Eyes]

 This works

   Okay...

   Aight

  Yeah       no

   Okay,          Guys..

    Aight

   Could’ve been out of satellite distance

    Kid

   Droids

   .....

 What-ever    

   ....

  Why are they celebrating?

  They don’t know shit happened

[or maybe they do]

I don’t have the energy to bother with   narc logic

Just let it end...

Aight

“That you’re-

 Dude     wrong clip      wrong order   

  ....

Aight

Okay

Yeah     Sure

Okay

Oh so now they can open the door?.

“Padme,”

  Aniken you are not a healer

  Your a herb-getter at most

   Oh so you have a very important person apparently didn’t have any      medical resources up to this point

   Kinda bull

   Opens eyes        [Not Romantic]

   That’s bullshit

  “I spoke with the medical droid,”

   Would’ve been nice to          see that

  Also, oh yeah well I was arguing     semantics about whether or not they had a healer  

   They totally did

   They could’ve sent it a medical droid

   Avoided did 90% of this bullshit

    Full recovery

    The dude who    hasn’t even gotten the Herbs?

    Or not distributed them?

   “I never lost faith in you,”

    Bull

     And the most stunted line ever

  [which would make sense for a          child soldier.]

     Adult?

       Unlikely

       Debatable

       Dubious

“None of us did,”

 Bull-shit

 And speaking for a lot of people

  That aren’t you

   [Authority         Assume]

   “ where we weren’t so sure,”

     [Show          Don’t tell,]

      “ well you did make it”

    Despite none of this being established

   Like I don’t think     she knew about the cure

   And specifically told you       not to

 [What kind of      tox....]

  Aight

  Okay

  By        the      way           ....    

   “Your padawan was brilliant..”

    The CHILD I recklessly endangered

 Ergh

  Aight

Whatever

   Get it over with

   General        skywalker

     Don’t         Care.

      My        Lady

        That                feckin        endangered            a          child

      [Two]

     Jar-Jar      surprisingly           still         ALIVE            after           that         incident

         I heard you were quite a good child soldier

        And like any other positively over involved groomer...  

          [Like I did with Anakin]

      Can’t resist         the temptation   

     to screw over another generation   

     🖕

  Training 

     AAAhhhh!

     I was just joking!

  Really starting them young      Obi-Won

  [He really can’t- resist

   The urge to drag someone into his     fucking-

        Obi- won                  Is                   A               Narc             Confirmed

          Feck               Him

          Jar-           Jar                is               a               child

            He            should              not              know               how                to               use               any             blaster

           [aka                Gun]

[unfortunately thanks to   Princess Amidala*

* she’s a Senator

*i’m just    very done...

 Aight

“ you did a fantastic job,”

  You did a fantastic job          Nearly dying....     You supposed to be defenseless child

    🖕

*Training

 Grooming

  “Yeah,”

   What?

    That was like a      goofy laugh

  “I probably do deserve,”

  Narc 

Children     can’t     have    attitude

 “But      not       all       of        it,”

  Amidala     also     deserves       credit         for     ordering        you       into      danger

   Padme,          high        five         for     endangering      children

  Seriously       who        is       still    painting      them       as      the     good     guys?

  They’re   Adults

   They-

   ....

[ “Thank you”

    For    fucking    nothing ]

....

 I think I’m going to use my     most repeated comment for           this episode; Not deserved

                             On that                                 subject;

                              It follows the same                                   pattern of the last two                                      Episodes

* One     that       is   constantly    changing,        Just      before        Strike     territory,        For another       formula        that’s          a      different      degree        and       volume       (type)         of    mediocre        and    problematic

     Saving it         from            a         strike           But          not            a       mediocre          episode

       Unfortunately, maybe it’s because it’s the third one to try this, special attention must be drawn to the fact that they have no idea how to do this

     While the bits that are pretty much           prepackaged are fine

       The rest         struggles

  Bringing to light a fundamental unaccountability           In accountability      By disregarding     what made it work in the first place

  And throwing in the trope haphazardly         (With no thought to it’s            (in)conclusion)

     Believing it to be sufficient enough

    Without any of the     necessary set up        Characterization        Or emotion

  With the mystery one, the set- up was erroneous, the “mystery,” rushed and over in 5, with the grace of a good villain

    With this;

    The “set up” doesn’t even get beyond the ground

    Screwing up some of the       key important elements

     - One; The cure’s on planet allowing for some environmental exploration, while maintaining realistic probability

     - Two; The deadline for expiration is explicitly outlined, creating tension

     - Three; The heart, comes for the fact that nobody wants anyone else dead and would rather see them be held accountable, (or live to be held accountable)

     - Fourth; The effects are semi-consistent

     - Fifth (unspoken); children are always vulnerable              (If a adult can survive it- neither can a kid- debatable]

        And also; (Optional) The cure is           seen distributed for a more tangible sense of relief

        You broke three of the five rules

          The three Most important ones

          As such;

          The tone, pacing and tension

            (Never mind the Heart,                     Which I shutter                           to think of,)

                        Flounder                               like                                  a                            (soon-to-be)                               dead                                 fish                                  out                                      of                                     water

If you’re going to do a     pre-established plot 

         Do it            right

  Don’t      cut   corners

    And make it as          manufactured               as           packing           peanuts,

         With              as              much             heart              (Emotional                Value)

[natsubeatsrock]

The Rewrite of Fairy Tail: Bonus (Mentality)

Is my rewrite of Fairy Tail supposed to be a replacement of canon?

Honest to goodness, I was planning on doing this for about two months. I feel as though this has been an elephant in the room of this series. While I have been saying that I love Fairy Tail and was okay with the ending of this series, I still decided to go through with this project. When I planned this post, I was going to compare the analysis done by Craftsdwarf on Fairy Tail and Nux Taku’s recent videos about Fairy Tail, as criticism done from different points of liking the series.

And then, Voltron Legendary Defender ended and I decided to take this in a different way. If not for any reason, but this is my only real outlet to get my thoughts on this whole mess out.

Before we get farther into this, I need to make it clear that I haven’t seen Voltron. At first, it was because I didn’t have access to Netflix. Then, it was because nothing about it seemed appealing to me and I was told that it wasn’t written well (No comment on the writing.). About the only reason I have to watch it now is to understand it. 

And that’s the funny thing about VLD. Despite knowing and following people who were into the series, I don’t even really understand a whole lot about it, why this was the show that blew up how it did, or, despite all the salt I’ve seen, what is so bad about this ending that it effectively ruined the show for seemingly everyone who watched it. (Normally I’d say things here about it, but spoilers.)

But, oh my goodness, the Voltron fandom. I’m sorry to those unfortunate souls following me who have the misfortune to call themselves part of the Voltron fandom. The things I’ve heard you guys go through make me question if it’s even possible to have ever called the Fairy Tail fandom toxic. Like, this fandom has done some messed up stuff in the past, but Voltron is on a completely different level of bad. You guys deserve T-Shirts or something. 

So, why talk about a series that I have little to no interest in as a launchpad for my topic of trying to replace Fairy Tail? Because a lot of what I’m seeing from the fallout of it’s ending is exactly what could spark the mindset that one could go into making a rewrite of a series as a replacement of the series. 

As I acknowledged in my introduction, I am by no means the first person to think that it would be a good idea to retell the events of a series with changes made to it. Incidentally, much of the Fairy Tail fanfiction I’ve been reading recently can be argued to fall into this category in some way. The argument can be made that this is the driving force behind most fanfiction that seeks to exist within its parent series universe. And it’s not like this is a practice for only fanfiction. In a very real sense, abridged versions of a series are essentially rewrites of their canon material. 

But, that’s just it. They are re-writings of a story. They aren’t the original version of the story. They are, in fact, a re-presentation of what has already existed. Arguments can be made for how it is when compared to the original, but, by any definition, it is not and can never be the original. And here’s where the importance of my question lies. 

I do not believe that it is a good idea to come into the rewriting of a series without a thorough understanding of the series you are trying to remake. When you ignore any potential thought process behind what happened in a series, it’s hard to think of how what happened could be salvaged. It’s why part of my rewrite involves this series, where I explain my understanding of why certain events happened, filtered through the lens of being a Fairy Tail blogger for over three years and having gone through the series more than once. (Though not without bias.)

After all, despite how you feel about how a series was handled, you were not the one to make it. While this can be seen as a reason not to change a series any further than what exists, as usually is the case, this also means that your interpretation isn’t the primary interpretation. (Primary, in this sense, meaning the first, as opposed to the most important, for readers in the “Death of an Author” camp.) Trying to understand why someone would make a certain decision can help inform your change in direction.

In my opinion, the best retellings of stories come from people who demonstrate an amazing understanding of their source material. I think this is one of the big reasons that TeamFourStar’s work on Dragon Ball Z Abridged and Something Witty Entertainment’s take on Sword Art Online are as successful as they are. They don’t just tell the same exact same story with a bit more jokes, as other less successful abridging projects have done.

In the case of TeamFourStar, in addition to tight writing and clever running gags, they have referenced as many parts of the Dragon Ball universe as could possibly be referenced. Not just in playful nods to the versions of Dragon Ball, GT, and Super every now and again. They have referenced material from obscure and unpopular dubs. They even made a shot at the less than stellar Dragonball Evolution in an early episode. Even watching their Dragon Ball themed Let’s Plays and DBCember lists, you can see the love and respect the members have for (most of) the Dragon Ball Series.

SWE has had less time around in the abridging world. However, their work is already being considered as some of the best abridging work of an anime. It’s not hilariously uncommon for less than talented people to criticize SAO for its poor writing. While one could argue that any rewriting of SAO could show a better understanding of the universe than the series author, people calling the abridging of this series better than the original are justified. Even simple changes like retconning an in-series justification for Dual Wielding and the end of the final battle between Kirito and the final boss are enough to show some genuine thought was put into remaking one of the most popular modern anime.

And, of course, each episode of both (except for the first one of SAO Abridged for some weird reason) starts with both a recognition of not being the original owners of the series and a plea for fans to support the official release. Regardless of how cynical you may think this practice is, the fact still stands that there is a recognition that they wouldn’t be able to do what they’re doing without the original.

And, that is the mindset that I have with this rewrite. I don’t agree with everything that Mashima’s done regarding Fairy Tail or every sentiment he has. Heck, early last year, I shared my disagreements with Mashima over his own perception of Nali. If I thought that everything that Mashima did throughout the series was good, I wouldn’t be doing this. Even as much of this series involves the defense of Mashima’s established universe, much more has been trying to explain things that weren’t explained and even making up things that didn’t happen in the series (albeit, usually using canon material).

But, at the end of the day, I still do love the series. I love the characters. I love the world. Even some of the things I have and will complain about and change are things I struggle with as they’re part of this hilarious mess I’ve come to love known as Fairy Tail. I feel as though it would be a mistake to forget to make Fairy Tail something other than Fairy Tail.

More importantly, I don’t know that, if I were actually given the opportunity to start from near scratch, I would be able to make Fairy Tail again, let alone outdo the original. I don’t think anyone other than Mashima could make Fairy Tail what it has become. 

If this rewrite is considered to be good, it will only do it because I’m working with a heavily established series with close to a decade and a half worth of canon material and spin-offs, of which the creator has had and taken multiple opportunities to explain his reasoning behind the decisions, mysteries, and mistakes made throughout the series. And because I, recognizing this, do my best to keep the series as close to what it was, while also changing material to make things feel more refreshing than many felt them to in the original, after years of talking about and interacting with its fandom and detractors.

Now, I don’t say any of this to mean that it’s impossible to come away from a series thinking that it’s entirely terrible, try to rebuild it without regard for what was done in the original, and come out with a good product. I absolutely defend the right for people to dislike something for whatever reason they want to, legitimate or pedantic, provided they do so respectfully. Given my track record, I’m almost legally obligated to. 

In some cases, rare though they may be, it may even be possible to create something people can and do consider to be better than the original. (Though it’s worth considering that the only situation I can think of this kind of thing happening is SAO Abridged, which I’ve already explained doesn’t neglect canon.)

The issue is that I personally don’t think that, in succeeding to do so, you’ve replaced the original series. At best, you’ve likely created either a well-liked fan alternative to the original or something so wholly different as to not even be considered similar to the original, save in potentially sharing names, titles and, on occasions, themes and plot lines. At worst, your efforts prove that you have completely and fundamentally misunderstood what was happening within the series you tried to rewrite. Either way, unless you can genuinely convince whoever made the original to throw it out and accept your version as the new standard for canon (good look with that, by the way), you haven’t succeeded in “replacing the original”.

So, if I don’t want to replace Fairy Tail, why rewrite it?

I have a few reasons. I want to consider how the series would look if certain changes were made to it. I want to explain how elements of Fairy Tail succeeded or failed in canon, which I have been explaining through this series. As I have been noticing, I have come to think of ways that what Mashima has done throughout the series can make sense without having to break too much about the series.

But, as I’ve been learning while I’ve been rewriting this series, I’ve recognized how much I love this series. Some of these choices involved in rewriting this series have been genuinely difficult. Not just in deciding how much to change to keep Fairy Tail similar. I want to be very careful about how I treat the characters in this series I’ve come to love.

Doing this has given me a newfound respect for Mashima. Despite much of what I’ve said about him in the past, I think that what exists within canon is special. Fairy Tail really is something different from many of its peers. From plot direction to characters (which will be the topic of later posts), I don’t think Mashima gets enough credit for what he did different from those around him, regardless of how well executed you may think it was.

I’m not doing my normal “In Conclusion” for this, given this is technically a series post. But, long story short, I don’t want this to be a co-opting or replacement of the original series. I see this less as making a new house on top of an older one, and more restoration of that old house, with new additions. 

Based on the Introduction.

[djgblogger-blog]

Understanding the US political divide, one word cloud at a time

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In a divided United States, how can we describe who is on each side? from www.shutterstock.com

America’s political divide goes by many names – rural-urban, blue-red, metro-non-metro and left-right. We are told it is bad and that it is only getting worse, thanks to phenomena like fake news, economic uncertainty and the migration of young people away from their rural homes.

And it’s fairly common for one side of the divide to speak for the other, without knowledge of who the other really is or what they stand for. An example: The term that’s been used to describe my state’s booming economy – “Colorado’s hot streak” – is in some ways the opposite of what many rural Coloradans are experiencing. But their story rarely makes the news.

Telling someone about metro versus non-metro poverty, suicide or adult mortality rates scrapes the surface of how things are felt by those living these statistics. Descriptions never seem to do justice to how these divides are experienced, which speaks to the wisdom of the writing rule, “Show, don’t tell.”

What is that divide, really? And how can we show it?

How to communicate the divide: word clouds

I am a professor of sociology and have been studying rural and agriculture-related issues, both in the U.S. and abroad, since the late 1990s. Prior to that, I was busying growing up in rural Iowa, in the far northeast corner of the state.

A few years ago I interviewed farmers and agriculture professionals in North Dakota and members of a very different agricultural community: an urban farm cooperative. In the case of this particular urban farm cooperative, land was placed in a trust to support urban agriculture and leased to members on a sliding scale. I promised not to divulge the cooperative’s location in order to elicit participation within this group.

I wanted to know how these two communities talked and thought about issues like sustainability and food security. I was also interested in how these group members, whose lives were focused on agriculture in very different ways, illustrated some of the divides in our country.

I had a hunch these groups differed in more ways than their zip codes and socio-economic backgrounds. The North Dakota group, for instance, was all white and predominately male, whereas the urban population was considerably more diverse. The study eventually made its way into the peer-reviewed journal, Rural Sociology.

As part of the study, I built four word clouds, visual representations of words I gathered from survey questions. If a picture is worth a thousand words, these particular images show more than thousands of sentences ever could: the divergent worldviews of these two groups. And they show us an angle of the aforementioned political divide that has been missed.

Individuals in each group were asked to “select three terms that describe what ‘social justice’ means to you” and “select three terms describing what ‘autonomy’ means to you.”

Before giving their answer, participants were shown a list of some 50 terms, designed by me to relate specifically to each question. Other terms were explored as well, but only two terms – social justice and autonomy – are discussed here because they complement each other in interesting ways.

The terms respondents chose were then fed into software that generated word clouds, which are graphics that show the most-used terms in large letters, the least-used terms in smaller letters. (Disclaimer: I make no claims that these clouds speak for all Americans, farmers, North Dakotans, metro residents, etc. I also recognize that the cooperative experience could color the responses of those in the urban sample.)

Individual vs. collective

Perhaps the most immediate contrast with these social justice responses lies in how the rural North Dakotans’ image evokes a number of words associated with punishment, policing and due process, such as “eye for an eye” and “right to attorney.” These are terms associated with criminal law and the criminal justice system.

The terms chosen by the urban land cooperative, in contrast, made no reference to punishment or policing when describing their visions of social justice. Instead, they chose terms that overwhelmingly emphasized, to quote the most used term to come from this group, equity.

Word clouds provided by Michael Carolan, CC BY

There was also a divergence between groups in terms of whether social justice was something individuals achieve or whether it denotes a collective response, where a community (or even society) as a whole ensures justice for individuals. To explain this point requires that I introduce two more word cloud images, produced in response to the autonomy question.

These autonomy word clouds demonstrate that the above contrasts are no fluke and are important for two reasons. First, they validate that there is something “deeper” afoot. And second, they inform the social justice images.

Note the repeated emphasis the North Dakota group placed on terms like “individualism,” “self-determination,” “self-rule” and “authority.” In philosophical parlance, these terms align with the tradition of individualism, a position that emphasizes self-reliance and that stresses human independence and liberty.

Word clouds provided by Michael Carolan, CC BY

These terms also tie in well with the North Dakota group’s social justice word cloud, with its emphasis on words that emphasize individual responsibility, e.g., “eye for an eye,” and individual freedoms, “fair laws” and “right to attorney.”

This stands a world away from the urban farmer cooperative group, who associated autonomy with “interdependence,” “cooperation,” “solidarity” and “community.” It might appear counterintuitive to link autonomy with concepts like interdependence and solidarity, until you hear individuals from this group explain their position.

A single mother, for example, spoke directly to how independence arises for members of this group because of interdependence, rather than in spite of it.

“We can accomplish a heck of a lot more together; I feel like I have more control over my life, more independence, when we can rely on each other.” She added, “I certainly appreciate how sharing childcare opportunities as a community gives me the freedom to garden. But we can’t forget that farming has always been a collective effort, of sharing seed and knowledge and work.”

The cooperative group’s views of social justice focused significantly on community outcomes and injustices as opposed to purely individual ones. This point about the urban group expressing something resembling a collectivist understanding of social justice came out especially clear in the qualitative interviews with members of the cooperative.

Among the members’ statements was one given by a man while he was erecting tomato cages with his two brothers, uncle and another man who 12 months prior was living in his home country of Costa Rica. Asked what social justice meant to him, he said, “Justice isn’t about charity; it’s about community empowerment; not about what you’re given but about intentionally realizing your aspirations collectively.”

Disagreements can lead to dialogue

The above images reflect disagreements, to be sure, and contextualize our inability to find common ground on such issues as climate change, guns and the social safety net. If one starts from the premise that an individual can only make good, right and just decisions when they’re left alone, then their position on those hot bottom issues will look a lot different from those who think individual freedom is enhanced when those liberties are balanced out by constraints determined by ideas about the collective good. In short, consensus is a stretch when one “side” preaches self-reliance and self-rule while the other speaks of “independence” and needing to “rely on each other” in the same sentence, as the mother from the cooperative did.

So what does this study of these two groups and their ideas mean? Does bridging the political divide in the U.S. mean groups like this need to settle all of their political disputes and arrive at consensus about everything?

Of course not. Disagreements are good when they encourage dialogue and debate.

What we have now in our country appears to sometimes border on combativeness if not outright hate, which has me deeply concerned, both as a sociologist and a citizen.

Before we can hope to repair the divides (plural, since these differences clearly go beyond rural-urban) we need to first understand how deep they cut. You wouldn’t prescribe a Band-Aid for a gash that requires stitches. The following are three concluding thoughts as we triage this wound.

Replace caricatures with actual encounters

First, the opposing worldviews illustrated in the word clouds have less to do with each group having different levels of knowledge and more to do with processing knowledge through very different filters. Thus, settling political disputes by arguing over “the facts” is futile, at least in some instances.

Second, a few respondents from each group appeared to be straddling “worlds.” People like this can be very helpful in bridging our political divides. Instead of building alliances based on geopolitical identities (e.g., ethnicity, political affiliation, rural/urban), we might explore how this process could start by engaging those who, like these few respondents, share similar worldviews.

Third, these worlds risk growing further apart the more their respective inhabitants look inward. The alternative would involve creating situations where we can get to know some of the people and livelihoods that are a world away from what we otherwise experience. That means the caricatures of rural and urban America need to be replaced with actual encounters.

Whoever thinks fences make for good neighbors has been infected by today’s political climate. What we need are bridges. It is time we start building them – and walking across the political divide.

Michael Carolan receives funding from the National Research Foundation of Korea and by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture .