#enjoy writing with who you wanna write with

[eternalmoonlight18]

Hi! Can I request a shanks x fem reader where she’s a famous doctor who shanks is trying to recruit and he locates her in Sabaody. He thinks she’s like an old man or something but it turns out she’s shakky and rayleigh’s daughter (love at first sight situation)

thank you🩷🩷

WOAHHHH i love this request! thank you for requesting it anon! i hope i did it justice, i really enjoyed writing this hehe

An Apple a Day Keeps the Doctor Away

Akagami no Shanks x afab!reader

CW: mentions of doing the naughty if you squint. otherwise sfw!

wc: 2.4k

A rumour spread across the Grand Line Paradise and into the New World that an infamous doctor poisoned and killed a Celestial Dragon on Mary Geoise. The doctor fled, of course, and the World Government was chasing that individual all across the seas.

While others argued that it was nothing but a rumour, Red Haired Shanks believed that it was very much real.

Leaning against the rails of the Red Force, he looked at his first mate, Benn Beckman, who was lighting up a cigarette.

"Say, Benn, I wanna meet this doctor. He's got the balls to poison and kill a Celestial Dragon and get away from it, so he earns my respect." he started.

The first mate gave a huff of smoke. "You believe someone did that? And even if he did do it, do you believe he's still alive?" he asked.

The red-haired captain hummed. "Ya know something, Benn? This world is full of surprises. I mean, look at Luffy! Who would've thought that little twerp we knew back then would become one of the most notorious pirates in this day and age?"

Benn chuckled. "I guess you're right. I have some intel from your fleets near Sabaody that the doctor is in hiding there. Shall we set course?" he asked.

A bright grin flashed on Shanks' face at the proposal. "Men!" he shouted. "Let's head to Sabaody for some fun!"

--------

The bright morning sun seeped into the room you were sleeping at. You groaned and tossed your head away from the light, hoping to go back to sleep. However, those plans were tossed out the window when you heard a gentle knock on the door.

"(Y/n) get up. Time for breakfast," a deep voice gently reprimanded.

Moaning in frustration, you kicked your sheets off the bed and sighed. "So early, old man? I wanna catch more sleep,"

A hearty chuckle echoed. "At your big age, and you're a freeloader, aren't you? Your mom isn't going to be happy that you're overstaying."

"Hey, I'm helping with the bar, okay? Unlike you, you drink every day, you damn alcoholic of a father." you snorted as you got up to open the door.

There stood your father, the infamous first mate to the Pirate King himself, Silvers Rayleigh. A small grin appeared on ur face as you looked up at your old man.

"You do know I'm on the run, right dad?" you pouted.

Rayleigh put a gentle hand on your shoulders and sighed. "You know, that was pretty reckless of you for killing that Celestial Dragon. You barely escaped."

A giggle passed through your lips. "That prick got what he deserved. What can I say? I'm the daughter of the one and only Silvers Rayleigh!"

"You may be my daughter, but it seems like you got your recklessness from your uncle Roger instead," he said, grinning as he remembered his old friend.

A soft sigh escaped your lungs. "I wish I was able to meet him; he would've been a great uncle."

Rayleigh and Shakky weren't your biological parents, but they found you stranded on the shore of Amazon Lily when you were ten years old. They decided to take you in as their child, and you've been with them ever since. Crocus, Roger's doctor, taught you everything you knew about medicine. You decided to use that knowledge to treat Celestial Dragons, much to the dismay of your parents and Crocus, but your underlying mission wasn't to heal them but to kill them off secretly. You managed to keep your relations with your parents a secret and created an alias for yourself, The Beaked Doctor, due to the dark robe and beaked mask you donned while you were a doctor on Mary Geoise.

And now you were no longer a doctor, on the run from the World Government, and leeching off your aging parents.

"I'm sure Roger would've loved you. Now, head down; your mother is waiting for you," he demanded.

You reluctantly listened and started to make your way downstairs before you heard some commotion from outside. You paused on the stairs and listened closely. The CP0 was in Sabaody looking for you. One of the Celestial Dragons was able to provide a brief description of your face unmasked. You groaned.

"I've overstayed my welcome. I'll leave tomorrow, but I need to gather some supplies before I leave." you sighed.

"It's fine. Just be careful out there later on." Rayleigh said as he made his way down the stairs. You followed suit and made your way to Shakky, who was behind the counter cleaning shot glasses.

"Hi, Mom," you greeted.

"Y/n, go eat breakfast," she said kindly as she took a huff from her cigarette.

"Maybe later. Gotta run some quick errands since I'm leaving tomorrow," you said.

Shakky put her hand on her cheek. "Leaving soon? I did enjoy your help around here, my dear."

You shook your head and laughed. "CP0 is here. As much as I'd love to stay, I can't stay and get you and the old man involved in my shit."

Your mom hummed as she continued to wipe shot glasses. "Alright. Take a robe and cover your face if you can. Don't worry about Rayeligh and I, we'll be okay."

You quickly grabbed a large robe and put the hood on. Before leaving the bar, you glanced at Rayleigh. "Hey, old man, tell mom to quit smoking. Gonna damage her lungs one of these days." you chimed.

A rumble of laughter escaped the man. "You know she won't listen to me. Besides, I've got a daughter who's an excellent doctor."

Shakky simply smiled and laughed at the conversation.

You laughed as you left the bar.

----------

As soon as Shanks stepped foot off of the Red Force, he could sense the tension in the air. Although usual business continued, the Red-Haired Pirates could sense that something was going on.

"Hey boss, just spotted a bunch of Marines near Grove 47. I also saw a CP agent wandering, too." Yassop lowly informed the captain.

Shanks briefly scanned the area and confirmed that Yassop was right. It only solidified his suspicions that the doctor was here.

"Alright, men, go stock up and enjoy yourselves. Since Marines and CP are here, we're only going to stay here for a night," he ordered.

Once the crew dispersed, the Red-Haired man started to stroll around the markets of Sabaody. As he looked around, he saw a hooded figure make its way into a Pharmacy. Intrigued, Shanks quickly followed them into the store and hung by the open entrance to listen in.

The shopkeeper with a weirdly long square nose greeted you with a hello once you entered the pharmacy. You quietly greeted back.

"Do you have any empty pills? I'm a medical student, and I need some for practice." You quietly asked.

The shopkeeper took a glance at you and nodded. "Sure thing, miss." He promptly headed to the back to get the supplies you needed.

You let out a soft sigh as the breath you were holding was let out. You noticed that someone had walked in and started browsing the shelves, but you paid no mind. Soon, the keeper came back out with the supplies in his hand and began to ring up the total. Once you placed the Berries on the counter, you began to promptly walk out of the store before the keeper spoke up.

"Have you seen the Beaked Doctor around here? Everyone's looking for them," he asked inquisitively.

You froze but didn't turn around. "Nope, no idea who that is." you squeaked.

You heard footsteps nearing you. Your heart started beating fast, and you wanted to run, but your feet were glued to the ground.

"That's a shame." the man called as you heard a revolver click. "Because there's a poster with her face plastered across town, and it looks exactly like you, doctor.

Before you realized what was happening, a strong arm pulled you down as you heard a gunshot ring throughout the building and into the streets of Sabaody. Stumbling on the floor, you saw a red-haired man glancing down at you with wide brown eyes.

Oh, he was gorgeous.

‐--------

As soon as he saw the shopkeeper, he knew that he was a CP0 agent. But what he couldn't understand was why the agent was undercover.

He quietly walked into the pharmacy and started to browse the shelves in an attempt to get more information. Once the keeper was back, the hooded figure and he made an exchange, then the hooded person proceeded to make their way out. But within a few seconds, the atmosphere went from relaxed to tense as he watched the keeper pull a gun at the mystery person.

"That's a shame." the man said as Shanks heard a revolver click. "Because there's a poster with her face plastered across town, and it looks exactly like you, doctor."

Doctor!

Shanks shot his head up in realization and acted fast. As soon as the undercover agent pressed the trigger, he quickly shoved the doctor down to the ground. The woman groaned, then looked up at him.

Shanks' breath hitched at the sight. The doctor wasn't some old man or careless, ugly medic; she was a breathtaking, stunning woman.

--‐------

It felt like time had stopped as the two of you were looking at each other. A light blush appeared on your cheeks once you realized that you were staring at the red-haired man for too long. But, your mind clicked once you realized who your savour was.

"Red-Haired Shanks?!" you gasped.

The shopkeeper froze once he heard the name. "What?! Red Haired-Shanks?!" I gotta call backup! He sputtered as he ran out the door.

The two of you watched the keeper run out.

Shanks offered you his arm and hoisted you up to the ground. He flashed a bright smile your way. "Wow, and here I thought that this infamous doctor was an old geezer. Turns out you're a gorgeous woman." he smoothly said.

You scoffed as you brushed the dirt from your pants. "Save it, ya womanizer. We gotta get out of here, now that they've seen my face, everyone's gonna come after me."

You grabbed Shanks' only hand and sped out the door and into the streets. He couldn't help but laugh as he followed you.

"Aren't we moving too fast? At least take me out on a date first!" he joked.

"This isn't the time Red-Haired! Ugh, you're just what the people say you are!" you groaned.

He chuckled. "You seem to know everything about me. But yet I know nothing about you." he pondered.

"Oh, trust me, I know you well, even if this is our first time meeting. Now, come on, my dad would want to see you." you urged as you picked up your pace.

"Your dad...?" he questioned.

Soon after, the two of you stopped in front of Shakky's Rip-Off Bar. Shanks glanced up and let out a surprised grunt.

"Hold on, if you say we're seeing your dad, and he's here, that means-!" he started before he was cut off by Rayleigh.

"Ah, Shanks! Good to see you! I see you've met my daughter Y/n!" your father greeted at the doorstep.

The red-haired man let out a laugh and looked at you. You glanced up and gave Shanks a sheepish smile. "Yeah, my old man is Silvers Rayleigh. Surprise!"

"Oh, sweets, you're full of surprises, aren't ya? Let's head inside before other people see you," he said as he led you in the establishment.

--------

You saw that the Red-Haired Pirates were drinking away at the bar, and your mother was busy making drinks. Loud, rowdy laughter echoed through the bar as you, Rayleigh and Shanks proceeded to sit at the bar table in front of Shakky.

Your mom took a look at you and smiled. "You made quite a commotion, dear. I can see the Marines are flooding the archipelago right now," she said.

You rubbed your hand behind your head. "I tried my best to stay low, Mom. Good thing Shanks here saved me."

The man you spoke of who was sitting behind you gave a smile. "Believe it or not, I was looking for your sweets. I heard what you did at Mary Geoise, and I gotta say, I want you to join my crew!" he laughed.

"Hey, captain!" Hongo spoke up from a table. "Did ya forget that I'm already part of your crew?" he argued as he guzzled down a pint of alcohol.

The crew burst out into laughter, and you couldn't help but laugh along.

"Hey, now!" Shanks chided, "What's wrong with having two doctors? Hongo needs all the help he can get, especially when we're all hungover!"

He faced you once more and smirked. "Whadd'ya say, sweets? You've captured my heart already. Why don't you come along with us?" he proposed.

Your father chuckled. "Shanks, you've got balls to flirt with my daughter in front of me." he joked as he took a swig of alcohol.

"What can I say? Didn't Captain Roger say that I was going to steal your future daughter's heart one day?" he laughed.

You felt yourself heat up. "Hold on, you big flirt. What's in it for me if I join?"

"Easy! Since you're probably the most wanted woman right now because of that awesome stunt you pulled, I can give you protection!" he said. Then he leaned and whispered in your ear, "Plus, protection is not the only thing you can get."

He pulled away and winked at you, leaving you as a blushing mess. Shaking your head, you smiled softly towards the man beside you.

"You make a hard bargain, Shanks. Alright, I'll join. But before you try anything, you gotta take me out on a date first." You teased.

"I might have to put a raincheck on that date, sweets, there's nothing romantic about the Red Force, and these idiots would ruin our date night." he chuckled.

You got up to head up to your room. "Alright then, guess I have to gather my stuff." you declared as you hopped off the chair.

You patted Shanks' cheeks and gave him a soft peck on the cheek before you walked away with a wink. The red-haired man gave a toothy grin as his heart started to pick up.

The crew saw the interaction and made wolf whistles.

"Don't you worry, Rayleigh, Shakky, I'll take good care of her," he said as he softly smiled at the couple.

Shakky simply smiled and continued making drinks.

"You better keep your word, you punk. Or else you'll meet Roger very soon." your father grunted jokingly. Shanks couldn't help but laugh. Shanks couldn't help but laugh. Who would've thought that this infamous doctor was a beautiful woman, who also happened to be the Dark King's daughter?

--------

[affableramen]

Assorted creditor Pantalone x afab!debtor reader headcanons. Episode one

((highly requested))

tags: tsundere!pantalone ; condescending, slightly vulgar villain ; he is a meanie ; toxic relationship ; early stage of relationship ; manipulative Lone ; slight degradation+humiliation ; choking ; slap dynamics (you slap him) ; degrading names (“bitch”) ; pet names (“kitten”) ; sexual themes ; criminal themes ; pantalone has chronic illnesses

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT Madman’s note: I like mean guys and judging by what we know about Pantalone so far (Arlecchino’s voice-line, Lazzo teaser, Wriothesley’s weapon, Pantalone’s artefact) he fits this category perfectly. I see the pattern of a rude boy here. Charming on the outside but once he opens his mouth it’s disgusting (hahaha.) He probably likes mocking and lecturing others, that’s for sure vibing in the Lazzo. He also talks a lot (thanks Cholde). As for the toxic assorted au, Ik half of you don’t like reading gentle n sweet Pantalone, but when I see this man I just can’t imagine him being cruel to his lover who accepted him when the Gods did not. I really think he is very soft inside (with a person he trusts). He’s all about equality and fairness so probably he treats people the way they treat him, and if ur nice to him, well Panty acts with equal respect to you back. That’s for the personality part. Speaking of other aspects, at least you guys get a happy ending. Coz I hate bad endings. Don’t wanna fuck up huge efforts. The angst and struggle was worth it. Come get your man guys. He’s like the mean classmate who bullies you but is secretly in love with you. As for the gentleman part, I wish I could write something more than just him protecting the lady, coz I believe Pantalone to be a big deal of a gentleman who has his standards even though what he does for a living is very questionable. I’m afraid it will be too much information for this post already. I must also mention that he might say a lot of disturbing and condescending things in the beginning. Oh, and to avoid any misconception--i don’t like writing innocent readers. My reader is fierce, chronically exhausted and crazy.

⟣

“You will be my prize. A perfect fit for a powerful man like me. You have no friends, your parents are far away, the only person to care for you is your grandmother who was, for sure, foolish enough to take a loan from Northland Bank. You are helpless in front of me, and I enjoy seeing that smug smirk disappear from your face once you realise you’re completely at my mercy. All alone, with your life depending on me. And I will, by any means, show you mercy if you are worthy enough.”

Said Pantalone as your résumé was forcefully slapped down on his desk. Your past jobs, experiences and skills — all in front of him, in his long fingers which are sliding through the pages as if it were an action book.

Your grandmother, indeed, was the only dearest person you had and, unfortunately, in order to save your life (and future) she took the risk of becoming a debtor to the old devilish banker who was by any means an extremely questionable person.

You had a rough path of changing jobs, trying to find the most fitting and well-paid one, however ending up in only worse conditions. A few years passed like this, the workload traumatised you so much that you couldn’t believe two years had passed since you started doing work for a living. Your grandmother was too prideful to retire, but you both knew her money alone could not sustain your happiness.

And thus, you ended up under Pantalone’s sharp gaze. Now, standing up in front of him with an unfazed expression, knowing too well this man just adores chewing on others’ suffering.

“Fuck you and your long ass monologues”, you think but your face remains cold.

The tapping of his fingers suddenly stops. You feel your heart sink, and it makes you wanna vomit.

“What was that? The look on your face just a moment ago”, Pantalone takes his glasses off and looks at you sharply. You can feel that heavy presence with your skin alone. The violet charm of his eyes suffocating you. His whole presence does nothing but choke you.

“Beg your pardon?” You narrow eyes and ask him as politely as possible.

“Were you thinking something a bit ago, dear? Or should I say, were you doubting my professionalism?”

“Shit, he is reading my mind. I have to think about something stupid.”

“You’re so untamed and so… wild, I’d say”, he says as he rises from his desk and approaches closer to you. “But alas, I can’t discount your value after one mere impression, can I? That would be too unconscionable of me as a businessman.”

You see him lean to your ear, his body bending cause of how tall he is, and you feel nauseous once he opens his mouth again.

“Your résumé is trash, but I’m not a monster everyone thinks I am. I will let you work under me because of how persuasive your grandmother has been. Though, I’ll be watching you, kitten. Perhaps I’ll even put you under my strict supervision—"

A sharp slap lands on his cheek. That is the moment Pantalone should realise that your pride cannot be underestimated. With his face thrown to the side, he pats his cheek, holding his fingers on the reddened skin.

“…at the lowest position”, he finishes the sentence. “Heh, the audacity of yours.”

Pantalone grabs your throat, your is suddenly pulled closer. While being choked heartlessly you turn your eyes to him and hold them for a few long deep moments.

“I’m not afraid of you”, the words come out of your mouth weakly. “Just let me work for you. I won’t be plotting anything. Not interested, to be exact.” He keeps suffocating you, you almost roll your eyes at the back of your head before the banker finally releases you. You slowly fall onto your knees. “Haah… hha…”

“I’d never be mean to a lady. But a particular someone just doesn’t know any manners.”

He signs the papers quickly, squeezes a used draft in a ball and throws it into the trash bin. The signature he leaves on your zero-hour contract is so lazily made as if the man wanted to deal with you as soon as possible.

“Don’t disappoint me. You wouldn’t like to see me when I’m angry.”

“Thank God”, you sigh in relief, despite being choked a few seconds ago.

His movements, his body are so quick and flexible, you do not notice how the eyeglasses return to his face.

“You have a zero hours contract here, but I’ll personally make sure you work not less than six days a week.”

“Just so you know, I won’t kill for you. That goes against my principles.”

Pantalone raises his eyebrows, giving you a bored look.

“I wouldn’t let you have a privelege like that anyway. I have enough henchmen of my own to stain hands with unneccessary violence.”

When the conversation ends, you go to the bathroom and throw out. This man gives goosebumps, and he is not easy at all.

To your biggest surprise, as a leader Pantalone turns out capable enough. Just seeing him intricately managing his resources and employees makes you admire him at some point. No matter how unattractive his personality, for sure, was, none could not deny the fact that he is a skilful individual. He possess finesse and determination. Though speaking of his other traits, you cannot ignore the fact how suave he is. Women touch him with or without his consent all the time. And you’d agree: the man is attractive. Affable demeanour in public, though quite closed in private. “Closed” is an understatement. He is, in fact, incredibly emotionally unavailable.

His ill-favoured personality, hidden under that affable demeanour and polished looks, however, could not prevent you from falling. For him. And you are gradually finding yourself more and more addicted to him. Brushing off these ideas as soon as possible, of course. Occasional touch of your fingers, frequent looks he’d give you. You cannot remember the exact moment when Pantalone started showing signs, but you remember well that his glances in your first meaning were anything but interest. As you are a “special” debtor with a large sum to owe, Pantalone almost cages you in his main office buildings. To your knowledge, there were a few of them, but out of all people the fate of working with him has fallen onto your shoulder.

There was one day when he scared you.

“You… killed someone?” You ask, holding your hand to your chest as you walk into his office to bring some papers. But they are dropped down the moment you see the so-called crime scene. The heavy metallic scent of blood blocks your breathing and you dream of disappearing from this room, however it is too late.

“Just taught a disagreeable debtor a valuable lesson”, Pantalone walks out of the shadows, lighting the cigarette right in his own office.

Your eyes widen at the sight of the blood on his face once he makes himself visible.

“What are you doing here? Ah, the job. I almost forgot.”

A panic attack crashes you sooner than Pantalone inquiries.

“Why the sour face? Just put the papers here and you’re dismissed.”

You look down at the body next, and even if!(fat chance) that person is alive, you cannot pull yourself back into the calm state.

“Are you deaf? Put your stuff on my desk,” the banker commands, wiping the blood off his cheek.

Your vision goes blurry when you see his stained with crimson skin and you feel like fainting.

“I don’t… exactly like… seeing blood, yes.” You turn away but lose your consciousness the moment after.

When you wake up you find yourself lying in the leather couch, a blanket dropped sloppily over your body. Pantalone is sitting at his desk per usual, working on his papers when he sees you slowly come to senses.

“Alive? Good. Now go back to your duties.”

You rise from the couch slowly, pulling the blanket down and slightly wobbly proceed to the door.

“Y/N.” Pantalone stops you with his voice.

“What now…” you think. But your expression softens one you hear what he tells you:

“There is a bottle of water I left for you on the desk. Take it. I’m not exactly eager reviving you after another fainting because your careless ass is dehydrated”, he stops writing with his left hand and says again, this time harsher: “And never enter my office announced again.”

“Thank you”, you take the bottle of water the Harbinger offers you. It has a distinct spicy scent from cologne lingering on it. “Your couch reeks of tobacco, by the way.”

One time, when you save him.

Pantalone storms into the office visibly injured and infuriated. You can see his secretary come up to him, presenting some sort of intel while her hand slips under his sleeve trying to pull his gloves out. You see it all through the small doorway.

“Lord Harbinger, you must have had a tough mission, let me release this stress of yours…”

The other employee of his, a male, presses a wet sponge against his expressionless face. Pantalone, seemingly weak and tired doesn’t respond immediately to the secretary boldly roaming her lustful hands over him but a while after his consciousness makes itself known. He grabs the recently presented papers and slaps the woman’s hand with them.

“Sir—”

“Have you two no shame? I need privacy. For once, just leave me alone!” He shouts, uncharacteristically to him. Both the secretary and the lowly subordinate rush out of the room under his strict command.

When the shift ends you can see everyone leave the office, however there has been not a single move from Pantalone’s office since he shut his door. You look on the clock, it’s already 9:15 p.m. Why is he not going home? You decide to spy on Pantalone. Soon, as everyone has left the office empty, you raise from your working desk and go to check on your CEO.

“Pantalone.”

You knock, but the response is none.

“Pantalone, coming in.”

You push the door slowly. Even his spicy cologne mixes up with the metallic scent of blood. You walk in the office and feel your heart sink at the sight: the banker is lying on the floor, as if he had fallen from his desk, there are lots of tablets scattered around the floor, and a bottle of wine, shattered, the salty smell filling your nostrils. The ashtray on his desk is full and messy. Everything looks chaotic and Pantalone himself is, for sure, out of character.

He is unconscious as he is lying on the floor. You rush to him, gently placing your hand on his shoulder and start shaking him.

“PANTALONE!!”

He doesn’t wake up and you have to resort to drastic measures. You slap him. At that, he finally comes to the senses.

“This is the second time you have slapped me. Are you not afraid of the punishment I might force upon you?” he asks, groggily putting his body into a sitting position.

“Why didn’t you go to the doctor?”

“I’m perfectly fine handling some scratch.”

“Just a scratch? Then, what are the tablets for? I thought they were painkillers.”

You see as Pantalone examines his own mess, and his expression is calm yet a hint of exhaustion can be spotted.

“Clever”, he says. “I was beaten up, and my muscles obviously hurt.”

“And the wine?”

“To relax.”

“I see.”

Pantalone eyes you once again, his face extremely pale and tired. “Are you done? You can go home.” He turns away from you, you don’t know what he’s doing but you hear a drawer being pulled and Pantalone let out a short sound similar to groaning. His knuckles turn white as he grips the edge of the desk. You see a used needle roll across the very same desk…

“You’re… you’re diabetic?”

“An astitute observation” (silently). “Didn’t I tell you to go home?”

You analyse him from the top to bottom and deem this person likely not being able to get home himself. You open your eyes to offer taxi, but realise that he has a personal chauffeur. “Right, rich people…”

“That’s all? You won’t even give me a lecture for spotting you in such a vulne-” Pantalone’s gaze becomes so evil that you rethink over the choice of your wording. “In such a predicament. I mean, shouldn’t your mighty self cut my tongue in order to prevent me from gossiping about your health concerns?”

“You’ve been reading far too many detective stories. I’m not so…” he sighs, realising that given the circumstances of his long list of crimes even as a polished businessman he is a perfect match to Meropide. So Pantalone cuts his wording as well. “Forget about it.”

“You sure will be alright?”

“Worry of yourself, it’s getting quite dark and seems like rain and thunder.”

Wow. That’s a gentleman indeed! He won’t even offer you a lift? You roll your eyes.

“I’ll get home just fine. And also, you reek of alcohol. Can’t have the employees think poorly of you.”

You don’t even know if you are happy with your doing or not, because if you didn’t wake him, he’d probably be lying there on the floor until the very morning.

As you’ve cleaned your desk and taken your coat on, ready to leave, you see that the raining outside has become even more aggresive.

You walk outside and slip on the first level of stairs. “Great.” Before you could dial the number of the taxi, you hear the voice behind you stopping you.

“Don’t need to spend money. You’re coming with my chauffeur.”

“No thanks, I am quite fine being al-ready indebted to you.”

“That won’t need repayment. You saved my life. If I were not woken up in time, and didn’t inject insulin, I would most certainly end up in a coma not long after.”

“Especially considering that you drank wine”, you think.

“If you insist. Look like today I’m but a slave of the weather conditions.”

Pantalone hums to your response and leads you to the sleek black car. He throws the door open for you and gets onto the back seat with you. Once he’s settled and you wait to be dropped off your place you notice the holes on his gloves, revealing already dry blood stained cuts. You are only able to see them properly now, due to your close proximity.

“May I ask who attacked you?”

“It happens quite often so no one is really surprised by now”, he clears throat. “An assassination attempt. But I’m faster” he gives you a warning look, by which you conclude that the killer is no longer alive.

“I see.”

As you’re dropped off safely to your place, you sneak into your bedroom before your grandma has questions. As you lie in bed under a fuzzy blanket you cannot brush his scent, the mix of spicy cologne with blood, off your mind. The sight of him almost helpless, injecting that insulin like he was on a thin ice, stays carved into your mind as well.

⟢

[squinch-depraved]

the people have asked for more poly!tedschlatt and that is what the people shall get. here's reader and schlatt getting walked in on by their dear friend ted, who decides to join in the fun. she/her used, first time writing double penetration hope you enjoy lovelies <3

the haze of another smoggy l.a. afternoon hung in the air as you lay on top of schlatt, lips plump from kissing him everywhere. the two of you were cuddled up in bed in one of ted's two spare rooms, sloppily making out to a playlist gone rogue after hours of deep conversation and toying with each other. it was now approaching golden hour, and dazzling amber rays shone in through the half open blinds, cloaking everything in a comfortable glow. you walked your fingers around in circles on his chest as you leaned on your other arm, not meeting his gaze. he studied you and eventually softly grasped your wandering hand, causing you to turn to look at him.

after a moment, he spoke. "you wanna?" his head tilted ever so slightly when he asked you. a smile teased at your lips as you simply nodded. he pulled you in for a kiss again, groaning softly once he could taste you. you were inexplicably sweet, always leaving him with a sudden craving for desserts. he adored the taste of your tongue, your teeth, your skin, your dripping cunt and the tight hole below it- all of you left a sugary flavor on his taste buds that he wasn't sure if he was imagining or not. he had explored every part of you with his tongue, but he had one hole left that his thick cock hadn't ventured into. he wondered if it would feel as sweet as you tasted.

"you feel like lettin' me in your ass today?" he asked, voice quiet but steady. his hand came around to rest on your behind. you looked at him and thought for a few seconds before nodding meekly.

"as long as you promise to go slow at first," you replied.

"'at first' being the key words there," he chuckled, pulling you in for one last deep kiss before beginning to peel his clothes off. you mirrored him, and soon the two of you were naked, grinding on each other mindlessly until schlatt zoned back in and began to stretch you out with his fingers. he went very slow, as promised, and your lewd moans filled the apartment, escaping through the open bedroom door.

just before he was about to insert himself into you, when he was softly assuring you this was going to be worth it, he looked up at the doorway and froze, seeing ted staring at you two in a mixture of shock, lust, and embarrassment. the two men stared at each other for a moment, tensions high, while you mewled impatiently before looking up and noticing your audience as well. you, however, let out a moan when ted locked eyes with you, snapping him out of his daze and causing him to reach forward and awkwardly slam the door shut. footsteps could be heard sprinting to his room and his door slamming as well.

schlatt sighed heavily and mumbled, "shit," before he smacked your ass lightly and stepped off the bed. he looked at you while he slipped on his boxers and said, "can i invite him to join?"

you eagerly nodded, volunteering to go with him if he needed help convincing ted, which earned a laugh from his lips.

"no, doll, just sit here and be good f' me," he spoke gruffly. you nodded once more and he shuffled out of the room, closing the door behind him.

minutes passed, and you sat there, waiting so patiently for them, but after so long, you just couldn't help yourself. you began rubbing circles into your clit, relaxing into the bed and letting out small moans. after who knows how long, the door swung open and the two men started to enter, but stopped when they see you working on yourself. you froze and snatched your hand away but it was too late, they looked at each other and began snickering, degrading names slipping from their tongues.

"can't believe you were about to fuck this filthy slut without me," ted admitted, no longer jealous of both of you for getting to be with the other.

"we can fuck her at the same time, if you want," schlatt responded. he looked at you, brow raised, and when you nodded, he turned back to ted. "was gonna fuck her ass for the first time anyway, might as well let you in her other hole and make it somethin' she'll really remember."

ted's face lit up, a grin spread across his features as he immediately began stripping off his clothes. "i'm so glad i came home early to catch you guys, holy shit," he breathed. he pulled schlatt in for a kiss, startling him before he reciprocated a second later. the sight stirred something in you, rousing a moan from deep in your chest. they pulled away and looked at you, smirking and whispering about their plan for a moment before ted dove onto the bed next to you.

you shrieked as you bounced a few times on the mattress before settling back down where you were. schlatt came around and laid on the other side of you, stroking your arm softly while ted attacked you with kisses. his lips travelled all over you, biting and sucking occasionally before settling on your sopping pussy and devouring you. his tongue explored you frantically, his fingers worked skillfully in and out of you, and schlatt alternated his mouth between your nipples, giving you just the right stimulation to help you rocket towards an orgasm. you screeched and tugged at ted's hair, knotting your fingers into his dark brown strands, causing him to moan into your aching hole and sending a shock down your spine from the vibrations against your cunt.

he pulled away a bit later and looked up at the two of you in adoration, face covered in your juices and some hickeys schlatt must have given him while they were away from you now visible. again something stirred in your gut, but you packed it away for later because schlatt was getting restless. you could tell from the way his cock twitched every few seconds, shiny precum leaking from the tip. he tapped you, signaling the time to shift positions, and helped you off the bed so ted could lay down in the middle.

the oldest out of all of you lay there, resting back on his arms slightly, his long, hard member standing at attention, ready for you to hop on. his hazel eyes flicked between the two of you as you looked up at schlatt one last time, and he fixed them on you when you climbed on top of him. the expression on his face when you looked down at him was pathetic. he wasn't even in you yet, his head had just barely touched your folds, and he was completely gone. you grinned, eager to ruin him, and sunk down onto him. however, you had forgotten how big ted was, and you let out a yowl as you kept taking more, and more, until eventually he bottomed out. once you were used to it, you started moving your hips, making sure he had some time with just you before your shared boyfriend abused your other hole. a peek in schlatt's direction revealed him staring at the two of you, bottom lip in his teeth, steadily pumping himself in his hand. you moaned and your hips faltered, giving ted the perfect opportunity to begin fucking himself up into you.

after a minute of this, schlatt grumbled, "fuck it," and pushed himself up to sit behind you. you adjusted your angle on ted and allowed him better access. "ted, stop! can't get in," he murmured, swatting the man's thigh to make him stop thrusting. the taller man whined, but complied, and schlatt lined himself up with your rim. "y' ready, doll?" he panted. you nodded and braced yourself.

you couldn't help but scream as the delicious pain of him stretching you open for the first time sliced through you. it's a torturous game of going slow with you, making sure you aren't being hurt unnecessarily, holding themselves back from ravaging you together. so when you gave schlatt the go ahead to move, he began pumping slowly, letting out a deep groan. ted whimpered under you, feeling schlatt's cock through your thin walls, and rolled his eyes back. when you told him he could move too, neither showed any mercy.

the two men pounded into you at brutal paces, various praises and insults filling the room.

"fuck, she's so good!"

"still a fuckin' whore though, huh?"

"oh, always, but she's so useful!"

"useful like a tool should be."

"listen to her on our cocks, she's singin'!"

"just means we're not fuckin' her hard enough, she'll be unable to make noise eventually."

ted came first, burying his cockhead deep in you and biting down wherever he could, leaving you with deep purple teeth marks on your shoulder. the scream you let out from the pain of that, combined with you clenching around him, coaxed schlatt's orgasm from him soon after.

they fucked you so good, so hard, you couldn't remember how many times you came. all you remember was the pleasure, the pain long forgotten in a trade for the memories of being filled by the two people you love most. when they had their fill, they didn't even pull out, you all just collapsed into a pile on the bed. after the boys caught their breath, they carried you to the bathroom and cleaned you up before making you dinner for the evening and taking care of you all night.

[venstm]

[tshortik]

I love you messy artstyle i love you visible brush strokes I love you textures and rough edges I love you imperfections I love you roughness and colour blobs I love you scratchy sketches and bold stylisation and dirt and imperfections I love you ugly and raw emotion!!!!! ❤️

[cheswirls]

short asl thing based on @where-does-the-heart-lie's modern au :) i started this over a year ago but the beginning is all dialogue and felt more like a script to me i suppose??? which deflated my desire to work on it. anyway i checked it over recently and it's completely fine lmfao, self-confidence restored here we go !

-

"Yo. Aren't you usually in the middle of your shift by now?"

"I've been banned from the hospital."

"Like, for life?"

"No. For the next, uh.. Twenty-two hours."

"That's oddly specific."

"It was twenty-four, but I fell asleep after leaving the building."

"That wouldn't have to do with why they kicked you out, at all?"

"Hmmm. I'm too sleep-deprived, apparently."

"Ah. And, um, you called me because...?"

"I pressed a random number in my call log after waking up. Lucky you, I guess."

"Yeah. Right. Lucky me. And your car keys are...?"

"Confiscated."

"Ah, right, of course."

A beat of silence. Two. Three, then "Look, if you're busy, then–"

"No, no.  You called me, so I'll be there. Give me twenty minutes."

"Alright. Thank–"

"Thank someone else. Also, if you fall asleep in my car, I'm taking it as express permission to drive you around wherever I want."

"Ugh, go die. I don't even know why I bothered."

"LUCKY YOU, I guess," sounds off way too loudly in his ear. "No take backs. See you in ten."

"I thought you said–" Sabo breaks off as the call ends, leaving him staring blankly at his phone's too-dim screen. He squints, turns the brightness all the way up, and still squints as the sunlight proves too strong for the display.

Ace shows up in more than ten but decidedly less than twenty minutes. Sabo doesn't waste much brain power on it, only climbing into the passenger seat and yawning into his palm while his other hand fixes the seatbelt into the buckle. Not a second too soon, too, as Ace roars the engine to life and peels away from the curb at record speed.

Ace fiddles with the radio. He turns the music up, then dial it back down to inaudible. They hit the expressway and he leans over the steering wheel, frowning with his eyes fixed on the road far ahead. Sabo yawns again and this appears to be the limit to his patience. 

"Hey, so, I had a thought after you hung up on me."

Sabo grimaces. "You mean you–"

"Today's Wednesday."

He doesn't elaborate. Sabo is too tired to process. "Yes," he follows, after a second. He glances at the sky out the front window. "What time is it?"

"Oh, uh." Ace fumbles with hand placement so he can lift his watch to his face. "Nine forty."

Sabo takes a couple beats to try and process this, moves his eyes away from the skyline, and sighs as he pulls his phone out. 2:47 is what the display reads, which sounds much more believable.

"How did the minute hand get off?" he mutters to himself, chancing a look at Ace's busted wristwatch. Ace raises a brow, taking his gaze off the road to scrutinize Sabo. "No, it doesn't matter," he mutters to himself once more, sliding his phone away back on his person and out of his hands.

"My point is," Ace continues, like he hasn't just been interrupted by a whole thing. "Your timeout will be done midday Thursday. Did they switch your days off?"

"No." Sabo sighs. "They technically gave me the next thirty-six hours. Technically closer to forty. Something like that. I go back in on Friday. Sometime.” He tries to smile and it turns out very lopsided, from that he can make out in the rearview mirror. “Can you tell I’m tired?”

“I don’t think ‘tired’ is an accurate description,” Ace quips. “When did you eat a proper meal last?”

“Uh, yesterday. Maybe.”

“Maybe??”

“A ‘proper meal’ means different things to the two of us,” Sabo huffs. “On my account it was yesterday. I’ve had food since then, of course.”

“Alright, so here’s the plan,” Ace announces before absolutely whipping it around a curve. Sabo is his passenger in the passenger seat and had fully prepared to be so when he got in the vehicle, but he’d been vastly underprepared for this sudden course of action, which is how he ends up halfway out of his seat with his cheek slammed into the cold window. Ace doesn’t quite notice his brother’s terminal velocity until the car is once again on the straight and narrow, and only then it’s because of the audible thunk Sabo’s face makes when it collides with the glass.

“Aw shit. You good bro?”

“Ow,” Sabo mutters. “If I have broken bones I’m suing your ass.”

“Well, if you’re good enough to make jokes, I think you’re better than you’re letting on.” Ace keeps the wheel steady with one knee while he takes both hands away to crack his fingers. When he glances over at Sabo again, he looks even more pathetic – like he’s becoming one with the glass. “Anyway, as I was saying.

“I’m taking your ass home. You’re going straight to sleep and while you crash, I’ll make you something decent to eat and stick it in the fridge for you to heat up later. I’ll even make you two servings to eat two different times, since you clearly can’t be trusted to take care of yourself correctly.”

“Ouch.”

“I want you to conk out for as long as your body allows. We can reset your sleep schedule tomorrow, alright? Put your phone on silent; do not answer any calls. In fact, you know what, just give it to me.

Sabo glances over to see Ace’s hand held out to him, palm up. Fingers wiggling expectantly. His lips pull up into a grimace. “I’m not doing that.”

“Fine.” Ace takes his hand back. “But you will comply with everything else.”

“Wow! It’s so funny, I didn’t realize you turned into my mother overnight! Really tapped into your mom potential, huh? Anything exciting happen in your life that would cause that? I guess I wouldn’t know, since I’ve been a zombie for the past two days.”

“There’s nothing wrong with acting like your older brother, you dipshit, especially if you keep putting yourself through the wringer like this. You go home. You sleep. You wake up and eat. You go back to sleep. Then we do laundry. Does that sound agreeable?”

“That’s negotiable, at the least,” Sabo mumbles. “I will accept good food as a form of bribery.”

“Oh, nice, because I’m flat broke at the moment.”

Sabo makes a mental note of that, and then they’re pulling into the driveway. Ace lets him exit the vehicle by himself and then promptly manhandles him all the way onto the couch where it will be easier to force his body to relax than in a real bed. Ace knows this, so he calls him weird before chucking a loose blanket at his head. Sabo is almost too tired to function at this point, so he lets Ace have the last laugh in favor of finally closing his eyes.

Coming to is a surreal experience, especially since the sun is still out. He must make a noise because Ace is suddenly within view. His limbs are tangled in the blanket and still so heavy that he doesn’t bother moving. “Thought you would be gone,” he half-groans, eyes slipping shut again for a moment.

“I did leave,” Ace confirms. “I had to go pilfer some stuff to make stew with. It’s almost done, so I’ll hang here until then.”

Pilfer. That could mean any number of things. Sabo chooses to believe in the option where Ace is an upstanding citizen, and then remembers Ace saying earlier that he had no money. He frowns and squirms on the cushions enough to where it looks like he’s checking his pockets. “Where’s my wallet, Ace?” he bluffs.

“Somewhere around here,” Ace pipes up. “Your stomach will thank you for your contributions to the Portgas Household’s pantry!”

“Ugh, I got robbed,” he complains. “This sucks. ‘m going back to sleep.” He rolls over so his back is to Ace.

“Yeah, you do you, bro. Stew will still be here later. I’ll see you when you’re back in the world of the living.”

—

Luffy comes in late that night and slams the front door shut as loud as humanly possible. When he appears in the main room, he doesn’t seem to be upset, so Ace writes it off as a Luffyism. Sabo hasn’t stirred at the noise, so it’s all good.

Realizing this, Luffy pads closer to Ace’s side and looks at Sabo’s unmoving body warily. “Why is Sabo passed out like a corpse? Is he sick?”

“No, he’s not sick, he just can’t take care of himself. Which is why we are going to let him sleep for as long as possible.”

Luffy just nods to this, but it’s the uncomprehending Luffy-nod that means he’s just going to end up doing whatever he wants to regardless. Ace sighs, then jerks his head towards the kitchen. “He ate a little earlier, but I want him to eat again when he wakes up. There’s stew in the fridge if you want it – just leave him a little. Got it, Monkey D. Luffy?”

Luffy throws him a salute and then runs off in his socks. “Yippee! Ace made stew!”

“Think of your brother, Luffy, and make good choices!” Ace calls after him. “He’s a pathetic man who needs food to feel better or he’ll end up sleeping through Laundry Day!”

—

Sabo does not sleep through laundry day, but he does sleep for sixteen whole hours, so it’s just around noon when he forces himself up off the couch and into a warm shower.

Ace is around, which is mildly unexpected. But he’s still half-asleep, so everything is at least a little unexpected. He glances up from playing video games with Luffy to see Sabo leaving the steam-filled bathroom with his hair hanging around his shoulders. “You look like a wet cat,” he calls.

“Sabo’s awake!” Luffy cheers. “Ace thought you died at one point.”

Ace elbows Luffy in the gut, making him hunch over. “I did not!”

“He totally checked to see if your heart was still beating!”

“I’m undead, actually,” Sabo says completely seriously.

“Does that mean you don’t need to eat anymore?” Luffy questions. “Because I ate all the stew last night.”

“I saw that coming and made extra.” Ace finger-guns in Sabo’s general direction. “That’s why I bought two sets of ingredients. With your money!”

“With my money,” Sabo echoes, because it’s such a wild statement to have to deal with this early in the day. Well, early for him. “Fuck you.”

“I mean, I can tell Luffy where I hid–”

“Thank you, Ace, for agreeing to share your quarters with both of your brothers so we can all do laundry today on your dime!” Sabo raises his pitch so his voice is mockingly squeaky when he says this. He starts moving down the hall before Ace can start to argue, letting his and Luffy’s voices bleed into the background.

When he comes back out, now dressed, it smells significantly better than before. “I reheated the stew,” Ace announces, gesturing for Sabo to take a seat at the kitchen counter. “Let’s all have lunch before we head out.”

“You have to drink this too,” Luffy tells Sabo, sliding a Gatorade across the counter so it sets in front of him when he finally does take a seat. “Ace’s orders.”

“Gotta get those nutrients back somehow.”

“Aren’t we so considerate, Sabo?”

“Do you even know what ‘considerate’ means?” Sabo asks, lips quirking up into a half-smile. At Luffy’s shrug, it turns into a real smile. “Well, thanks anyway. Both of you.”

“No sweat. And look!” Ace brandishes a five dollar bill for both to see. “I found this baby for us to use on coins! It’s all on me today–”

“Where’s my wallet, Ace?!”

[t00thpasteface]

i'm so relieved that people like my retrobat stuff bc i can tell tumblr definitely prefers two very specific batmans: Tortured Diesel DILF and Edward Cullen But Cooler. meanwhile i'm out here like

[guiltyonsundays]

In defence of Will Ladislaw

George Eliot's characterisation of Will Ladislaw is one of the few aspects of Middlemarch that is not universally praised, with no less a person than Henry James commenting in 1873 that he lacked “sharpness of outline and depth of color”, making him the novel’s “only eminent failure.” And while Will's character is certainly not as clearly defined as some of the other characters in the novel, I believe that this was absolutely intentional on Eliot's part. Middlemarch is full to the brim of characters who believe they know exactly what they want—not least among them, our two protagonists, Dorothea Brooke and Tertius Lydgate, whose ardent ambitions and inflexible attitudes lead them into catastrophic errors of judgement and unhappy marriages.

By contrast, Will's lack of strongly defined goals and his changeability are almost his defining character traits. He's aimless and pliable, prone to rapid mood swings and drastic career changes, with even his physical features seeming to "chang[e] their form; his jaw looked sometimes large and sometimes small; and the little ripple in his nose was a preparation for metamorphosis. When he turned his head quickly his hair seemed to shake out light."

Will’s inscrutability is closely tied to his ambiguous status within the rigid class structure and xenophobic society of Victorian England, with his Polish ancestry and “rebellious blood on both sides” making him a target for suspicion. He is repeatedly aligned (and aligns himself) with oppressed, marginalised, and outcast populations—Jewish people, artists, and the poor.

He serves as a narrative foil for characters like Lydgate and Edward Casaubon, who prioritise specialist expertise above all and are consequently incapable of broad knowledge synthesis. He critiques Casaubon's life's work as being "thrown away, as so much English scholarship is, for want of knowing what is being done by the rest of the world." By contrast, Will serves as Eliot's defence of the value of a liberal education. One of the first things that we learn about him is that he declines to choose a vocation, and instead seeks to travel widely, experiencing diverse cultures and ways of life. He has broad tastes and interests, trying his hand at poetry and painting before eventually pursuing a career in politics.

He also functions as a narrative foil for Dorothea. Will is initially apathetic to politics, whereas Dorothea initially professes herself to be disinterested in art and beauty. This is perfectly encapsulated in their exchange in Rome, when Dorothea declares, "I should like to make life beautiful—I mean everybody's life. And then all this immense expense of art, that seems somehow to lie outside life and make it no better for the world, pains one", to which Will replies, "You might say the same of landscape, of poetry, of all refinement [...] The best piety is to enjoy—when you can [...] I suspect that you have some false belief in the virtues of misery, and want to make your life a martyrdom.”

By the end of the novel, Dorothea unlearns some of her puritanical suspicion of sensual pleasure, whereas Will becomes more serious, compassionate, and politically engaged, dedicating his life to the accomplishment of humane political reforms. They are both flawed individuals, who ultimately become more well rounded through their relationship with each other. Admittedly, Dorothea's influence on Will is more significant than his on her—and once again, I believe that this was intentional on Eliot's part.

In my opinion, the negative response to Will Ladislaw at the time of Middlemarch's publication (and in the centuries since) was and is profoundly informed by gendered expectations of masculine dominance in romantic relationships. Will's marriage to Dorothea has often been described as disappointing, with many readers and critics viewing the ambitious Lydgate as the embodiment of the ideal husband that Dorothea outlines at the beginning of the novel—a talented man engaged in important work for the betterment of humanity, to whom she can devote herself.

However, one of the central themes of the novel is that people are often mistaken in their beliefs about what they want, and Dorothea's marriage to Edward Casaubon certainly demonstrates that she would not in fact be happy living her life in submission to a man who does not respect her opinions. I firmly believe that Lydgate's misogynistic attitudes and expectations would have made it impossible for him to be happy in a marriage of equals with a woman like Dorothea. He is explicitly drawn to Rosamond Vincy because she has "just the kind of intelligence one would desire in a woman—polished, refined, docile."

By contrast, George Eliot made a deliberate choice to pair Dorothea with a man who is not ashamed to be influenced by her, and indeed looks up to her as his moral superior. Through Dorothea's influence, Will discovers his life's work. In turn, by marrying Will, Dorothea is able to pursue her true passion. As a result of their influence on each other, these come to mean the same thing—reform. Thus, George Eliot grants Dorothea Brooke a subversively feminist, politically progressive, and profoundly cathartic ending: a life of companionate marriage, sensual pleasure, and meaningful work, in which Dorothea can devote herself (within the limited means available to her as a woman in the 19th century) to the achievement of just and compassionate reforms that "make life beautiful" for everybody—herself included.

[cerise-on-top]

Hiya! The post you did about reader giving the 141 a pet turtle/tortoise was so cute 😭. I was wonder if you could do a similar thing but with a pet snake 🐍 They’re my favorite animal and it would make my day❤️❤️❤️

Hey there! I love all reptiles, so I'm more than happy to take on this request :] I can do requests like these with snakes and turtles just fine, but I don't think I could ever write this with cats or dogs haha! Sorry about Ghost, though, but I don't think he likes snakes and nothing could change that, though!

TF141 Receiving a Pet Snake from Reader

Price: I feel as though Price would know nothing at all about snakes and how to care for them. Yes, he thinks something like a ball python is kinda cute, but that’s about it. He’s never really considered a snake before. So you can probably imagine his surprise when you waltz in with a ball python. He’s not disgusted by it, but he would be hesitant to touch it at first. What if it bites him? Though, as soon as you tell him that it reminded you of him, he’d probably grow attached to it. However, you’re gonna have to help him with building a proper enclosure for the little snake. Once you’re done, once you’ve left the little critter in his care, he’s gonna buy a lot of books on how to care for snakes. I don’t think he’d be too creative with names, so he’s probably gonna name it “Mister Slithers” or something. It’s a name a child would give to a snake, but he thinks it’s cute, and it makes him smile, so he kept the name. When he’s home he probably lets Mister Slithers roam around freely for the most part, with supervision. That snake better be super tame, because he will handle it (with care) and give it lots of pats and cuddles. If he could, he’d give it a little kiss on its little head as well, but he doesn’t want to get sick. It’s probably well fed too. Depending on whether or not it’s an active little fella, he might even give it a living mouse or something. But if it prefers to snooze all day? He can go with thawed frozen food as well. Overall, that snake is probably going to live a long and happy life with him. He’ll get attached to it very easily very quickly.

Ghost: I’m sorry to say this, but you’d need to be super innocent and super close with Simon in order to give him a snake and have him not hate you immediately. He canonically has trauma when it comes to snakes, so I don’t think he’d be happy at all if you gave him one. Yes, you likely didn’t know about that because he’d never tell you, but if you’re anything but the most oblivious and innocent person out there then he will believe that you’re trying to make him relive some of his worst times on purpose. If you are that innocent, then there’s the tiniest chance he might accept it, but I don’t think he’d be a good owner at all at first. He wouldn’t want to go near it, even if it’s just a small Garter Snake. The snake would likely be on the brink of starvation and dehydration at first. For the sake of not making this angsty, I’m going to say that he’ll feel extremely bad for it and start feeding it and taking proper care of it. I don’t think he’s going to let it out of its enclosure for the first few years. In fact, he probably only keeps it around because he loves you. I’m sorry, but he doesn’t trust snakes. It’s a miracle he keeps it alive in the first place. I don’t think he’d give it a name either. Something like “the snake” or “the reptile”, and that’s it. If it gets sick then he’ll take it to the vet and give it the medication it needs, but that’s it. He’s glad snakes are, for the most part, independent creatures. That means he doesn’t need to be around it. His skin crawls whenever he looks at it. I’m sorry, but he wouldn’t be happy and he wouldn’t be a good owner either.

Gaz: And then there’s Gaz. He revels in you giving him a snake. Truth be told, he feels a little bit of kinship with them. His father used to call him a snake for being a trans man and actively transitioning. He’s a traitor, a backstabber, to his family, and he really does enjoy that fact by now. Call him a snake and he gets all smug and is actually thriving. You could give him something like a King Cobra, a snake that is actually venomous, and he’ll be fine. When he was younger, he’d actively researched how to take care of snakes since he, ever since his family disowned him like that, wanted to get one. If it’s a female snake, then it’s most definitely going to get his deadname. If it’s a male? He’ll probably name it either “Kyle”, after himself, or one of the other names he considered before “Kyle” stuck. Oh, he’s going to be such a proud snake owner. That snake will miss out on nothing. It will be well taken care of and have the most beautiful enclosure it could ever have. He’ll probably pet it too just because he trusts the snake. Considering he’s such an observant man, he’ll probably rarely ever, if at all, anger it, so he’ll be safe. Although I do believe that he’d keep some antivenom around, just for good measure. The snake probably trusts him a great amount too. He’s not at all a bad owner to have, he’s very loving and respectful. Besides, you gave it to him, so how could he not love it? It’s probably gonna live a long and healthy life. And yes, he would take plenty of pictures with it, always considerate enough to send you some updates on how it’s doing as well. Though, every time he sends you a selfie of him with his snake, there’s a little mischievous glint in his eyes. He’s happy, don’t get me wrong, but he feels more badass and dangerous with his little snake around.

Soap: He has no problems with snakes either, but they’re not cuddly enough for him. He’d rather have an animal that he can chase around his home. That baby Burmese Python you gave him is adorable, don’t get me wrong, but what exactly is he supposed to do with it? Either way, he always gets surprised when he sees how much his little “Sniffer” has grown after deployment. Yes, he’ll scold it for being that big. “Bonnie, how could you grow this much without me? Don’t you know that I need to care for you every step of the way??” He refers to himself as the snake’s “Daddy” as well because he’s just that fond of it. He probably builds it a nice shed as its enclosure since he has a pretty big garden and loves having something to do anyway. He also jokes that little Sniffer can actually sniff out drugs. Some of his friends take him seriously. That snake is going to be so spoiled. Whenever he’s home, he’ll let it roam around freely, even letting it slither all over his body. No matter how big it gets, he’ll work out to be able to handle it. Sometimes, when he hasn’t touched it yet, he’ll kiss his fist and give it a little fist bump. He loves showing Sniffer off, especially to the people who don’t like snakes. Even better if those people are hesitant to touch a snake. Sniffer does grow to be pretty big, but it’s very tame. Unless it’s hungry, in which case it’s probably tried to bite Soap before. But he doesn’t mind that, he also gets pissy when he’s hungry. As much as he’d love to let Sniffers sleep with him, he keeps it in its enclosure during the night. Better safe than sorry. Overall, he loves the funky big fella.

[keirawantstocry]

If you need ideas, I have a few.

Maybe canon divergence with fitpac date, with tubbo going with them, because they did asked him if he wanted to join them.

Or maybe something about post-prison, with them having to start over, and also having a talk about what happened in the last days, processing their emotions.

i love you so much i hope you know that xoxo

AU WHERE TUBBO DOES ACTUALLY GO ON THE FITPAC DATE WITH THEM 

Tubbo’s calamitous trains of thoughts came to a sudden stop when Fit spoke. “Come with you guys?” 

The guys in question were both standing in front of him now, dressed up for their date. Fit, in a fancy form fitting suit and Pac in a nice button up and slacks. Their expressions were mirrors of each other; earnestness and concern. 

“Seriously?” Tubbo asked, his voice cracking on the word against his will. 

Pac nodded enthusiastically. “Of course, Tubbo. We are, you know, family. You are always welcome.” 

Fit echoed his sentiment. “Yeah, Tubbo. You’re very welcome to come to the movies with us.” 

Tubbo blinked. “I mean I don’t want to bother.” 

“But it’s bothering you,” Pac pressed. “And it’s no bother to us so why not?” 

Tubbo felt suddenly guilty about the ender pearl and the plan he had to steal Pac away. “Okay.” That was it, he had decided. “Okay, I’ll come with you guys.” 

They both smiled brightly at him and Pac slung his arm around Tubbo as they set off. 

– 

Fit showered Pac in food and clothes and whatever he could ever want as soon as they got there and to be honest it didn’t stir a bit of jealousy in Tubbo. Pac handed off as much food as he could to Tubbo while they both laughed at Fit’s nervous antics. 

“He really likes you,” Tubbo whispered to Pac while Fit’s back was turned. 

Pac grinned. “He does.” To Tubbo’s surprise, Pac slipped his hand into Tubbo’s and squeezed. “Let’s go watch whatever movie he has planned for us, yeah?” 

The word us echoed over and over in his mind. “Yeah.” 

-

The movie was an old black and white one that had them all curled over laughing. Tubbo had been sure he would be gagging and rolling his eyes at how romantic they were being the whole time but to his surprise he seemed to fit in with them like a puzzle piece they didn’t know they were missing, Tubbo pressed into either of their sides at any moment. Laughing with them as they compared the animated creatures to other islanders. Teasing Fit with Pac when he accidently fell into his lap. Stumbling awkwardly through words in Portuguese with Fit as Pac howled with laughter at them.  It soothed his fears for a while. The promise and security of being with both of them. Maybe things would be okay. 

[kaylinelizabeth4004]

Dog Days Are Over

Summary: The Reader is struggling with severe depression, and Alec Hardy comforts her.

A/N: inspired by one of @denaliwrites Alec stories! This one made me cry several times while writing it, it’s pretty much my experience minus Alec (unfortunately.)

TW: talk of severe depression, suicidal thoughts/ideation, body dysmorphia, and not beta read because it was hard to write

She sat on the couch, curled up in a corner while 'The Office' continued playing on the telly. She'd been mindlessly scrolling on her phone all day, not really noticing anything on there but not wanting to look away from a screen. Then she might see the real world for all it was, and today wasn't the time for that.

Y/N glanced at Michael Scott as he put on a stupid hat to impress some stupid friend of Pam's. She felt a tension in her shoulders, along her back and arms, but she tried to ignore it. Tried to bury herself amongst the blankets and pillows of the couch. It wasn't working, why wasn't it working?

She adjusted her pillows, and nothing. She got bored of the Instagram reels that always turned into mommy bloggers she didn't like to see. The telly grew louder and she suddenly found Michael Scott bordering on obnoxious and not funny. The room was so goddamn warm in there but she knew she couldn't change from her comfy clothes because she didn't want to wear a bra. If she changed into something remotely hugging her figure, she'd feel as though she had to wear a bra and start the day. It was so fucking stupid the way her brain was wired.

She tried to ignore it.

Then she got a sudden pang of guilt, a feeling that was brewing at the surface but she tried to shove down. She worried that everyone at work would absolutely hate her for not coming in. That they'd know she was lying about being sick and think she was a terrible worker, that she didn't provide anything, she was incompetent and slow and everyone was wondering why she couldn't get her fucking act together. She worried that when she wasn't there they'd be saying awful things. How stupid she was, how needy and desperate for attention and validation and pathetic.

The voices came whirring at her. She hadn't even realized they'd been speaking this entire time until they all started screaming at her. The voices battered like a ram, tore through her chest, attacking and spitting venomous words. Her lungs seemed to recede inside her, clenching for an oxygen that wasn't there. Suddenly her vision was blurring, hiccups came bursting from her lips in broken sobs and she could feel that heaviness in her chest like her heart was going to explode. She couldn't breathe with that weight, there was no oxygen. Y/N felt as though her skin was itchy and thin and it just wouldn't come off. If she could tear it all off to make it go away she would.

The loudest voice screamed out, "Everyone hates you! You are the worst human to exist and we wish you would just die already!" Her fingers buried in her hair, holding the roots tightly and her cheeks were burning hot. She wanted to scream but didn't have the energy. The voice kept screaming and screaming, "they hate you, they hate you, they hate you! You're the worst person ever!"

And it's all true, that's the most despicable part. She believed every foul thing that voice said was right in the truest sense of the word. No logic could stop her brain from believing that she was stupid and slow and incompetent.

She believed all the things they said, that she was fat and ugly, and her nose wasn't right, her skin wasn't right, her stomach was horrendous, she could never be beautiful or sexy or smart. She ruined every chance she had for it, and one day Alec was going to see how horrific she was and he'd flee. He'd spout viscous things and they would be right. She deserved all of it and worse. There was no man that deserved the hell she provided, she was the worst it could get.

Then she kept chiding herself, trying to stop this delusion she was building in her mind. She'd say, Y/N, that's not fair, you've worked on this. Y/N, you're on medication, this shouldn't be how you think. You're better now. Y/N, talk yourself out of it. Y/N, you're jumping to conclusions. And all the while she's sinking and building evidence to false realities. She wonders if she's insane, if she should be locked up then has to remind herself she's not Joe Miller. But a wicked part of her wishes she was, so these feelings would be justified.

There was no way to explain this to friends and family. No way to explain that this was her thoughts almost all the time, and the times she wasn't thinking like this it was lying low. But it never left. But everyone had depression these days, she wasn't unique. And if everyone else could live, then surely she could to.

She retracted her fingers from her hair, prying off the strands that came with it. Her cheeks were still painfully hot but she wiped the tears away. Michael Scott was still doing something stupid on the telly, and she had her phone on her lap. She wanted to call Alec. He'd said to call if she felt anything, said he wanted to be there for her. But wouldn't this be a burden? Wouldn't he find her repulsive after this? Not want to deal with it. She didn't want to either. She didn't want to deal with this anymore, she was so tired. And surely Alex's life would be easier with one less person to deal with? With one less mess to clean up, no worrying about her.

But it was those thoughts that forced her to call him. She knew that those thoughts were bad, that those thoughts led to bad things. And though she was humiliated, wanted to hide away from him, she knew it was for him she had to call. He'd be so hurt if she left. He'd blame himself, and that wasn't fair.

"Darlin?" His voice filled the silence.

Her breath shuddered and she sniffled like a baby, "Alec."

"What's happened?" His voice was stern, alert. With that one word he sensed that she wasn't okay.

"It's nothing."

"It's not nothing."

She let out a pathetic laugh, "no, Alec. I don't want you to worry."

"I'll be there in 15." Then he hung up. She gaped at the phone. Y/N didn't want Alec to see her like this, so broken and battered. He didn't deserve this.

Her heart started to race and she treated every sound as a threat. She looked horrible, she was certain her breath stank and her cheeks were flushing and her hair was going every which way. She looked fat and greasy, her clothes had stains. Oh God, oh God.

The door opened with no preamble. She shut her eyes and waited for him to yell, to be furious that there was no true emergency. It's not like she'd cut herself. There were footsteps and then the couch beside her dipped, but she felt no touch.

"Darlin?" Alec spoke softly, his accent sliding through her flat. Michael Scott seemed a distant image. "Are you alright?"

She didn't want to open her eyes. As childish as it was, she felt that if she didn't seem him then the issue was resolved. "I'm fine."

There was a pause, "May I see your beautiful eyes?"

With a shaky breath, she peaked through her lashes at Alec. He was sat beside her, brows furrowed in concern as he looked at her. His coat had raindrops on it, his hair mused and looking like chocolate. His beard needed to he shaved but she hated when he did. And in those stupid, beautiful brown eyes, she saw a love so raw and unconditional she couldn't stand it.

Tears fell down her cheeks and her hands went back to her hair. She could feel herself retreating, curling into a hall and away from the world that hated her. But Alec was so soft.

"Darlin, can I touch you?"

She whimpered a yes.

Warm, calloused hands came to her own in her hair. The touch was not harsh, yet it wasn't shy either. Alec wanted to love Y/N and keep her safe, even if it meant from herself. He brought them down, holding them firmly. Then he lifted her chin so she would look at him. Her lips began to quiver.

"How long has it been since you've showered?"

The question caught her off guard. She'd expected him to pry into what she was feeling and tell her why all of it was wrong and he loved her. Which was incredibly sweet, but would have hurt her so much. She'd feel like a burden. But this wasn't what she anticipated. "Uh, um, a few days."

"Do you care to take a shower with me?" He smiled, his Scottish accent lilting the words. "I need one from the rain."

She nodded nimbly. Alec got up from the sofa first, then helped her up though she didn't need it. They walked to her bedroom, where Alec went through her drawers to find a clean pair of underwear and pajamas. She felt her heart smile when he pulled one of his shirts she'd stolen as her top. He had his own pair kept in her drawers as well.

Alec walked softly as he went and turned the shower on, letting the water patter against the tile.

"Y/N, do you think we could take your dirty clothes off?" Alec asked, letting the tiniest of smiles cross his face. She'd learned to cherish that look, because it wasn't one many got. But right now, she felt selfish for getting to see it when she didn't earn it. Y/N nodded.

He helped take off her pajamas, each piece with care and precision. She felt like she was a wounded animal he was bringing back to life. That guilt forged its way in her heart. Alec placed a hand on her hip, the other on the back of her neck. Though she was naked, and he was about to be, it wasn't sexual in nature. It was intimate, and loving. Alec's voice was rough as he grumbled out, "Now you stop that bad thought. I love you as you are."

Her lips parted and her eyebrows shot up in surprise, she hadn't said a word. But Alec just pressed a kiss to her forehead. Soon they were both naked and they got into the steaming shower. Alec let her stand under the warmth, hands stroking her sides in ginger caresses. He was just appreciating her as she was.

Alec couldn't pretend to understand exactly what went through Y/N's head. It wouldn't be fair to her. But he did know that he loved her deeply, and that no matter what he'd stay with her. If she didn't know who she was, he would remind her if only for a moment to be with her.

With his long, dexterous fingers, he washed Y/N's hair. She stood awkwardly, letting it rain over her. It felt nice. The little pelts of hot water had a steady rhythm, only interrupted by Alec’s kind hands massaging her scalp. She felt the tears slip down her face in steady streams, but didn’t bother to hide them.

Alec quickly shampooed his own hair, then took his time with the body wash to take care of Y/N. He lavished her but in the most sincere way a person could. No agenda, just making sure that with each part of her body he cleaned that she knew he loved her. And she did, she knew he loved her more than anything. That’s what made it so hard.

The water ran lukewarm and Alec got out quickly to wrap a big, fluffy towel around her. He helped dry her with the towel, helped her into her pajamas.

“You want braids, love?”

“You know how to braid?” Her voice sounded so small. Alec nodded and parted her wet hair, french braiding it out of her way. His fingers were nimble.

“Come on, darling, let us get something to eat.”

Alec walked with her down the stairs, going into her fridge until he found some ingredients to make omelets, which he knew she liked. With gentle hands, Alec came and placed Y/N on the counter so she could be right there as he made the food.

“Cheese?”

“Yes please.”

It was a quiet sort of appreciation with Alec. Y/N could tell he wanted to blurt out his love but this quiet approach, this simply taking care of her, hit a part of her heart she didn’t know it would hit. She could feel her soul opening just slightly. He couldn’t fix her, that wasn’t how this worked, but she could feel him loving her.

He helped down from the counter and brought the plates to the sofa. Alec put on a different sitcom, gave her the plate, and settled in.

After a pause where she stared at the plate and wondered the different ways she could jump off the earth, she said, “You don’t have to stay.”

“I’d like to,” he said with a bite of omelet.

“I don’t want you to stay.” The words were harsh, and untrue, but the humiliation of being this way made her angry. She wanted to lash out at him if it could only take away from the pain in her heart.

“Tough luck, darling. I’m here to stay.”

That was when the sob broke out. A deep, heart wrenching sob that make the plate fall to the floor, carpet covered in a cheesy omelet he had just made for her. Y/N covered her mouth as though the sounds would stop but they didn’t.

Alec came and scooped her up, letting her rest on his lap, head on his shoulder. He hummed just slightly, hands running comforting strokes on her body, lips kissing her forehead.

“You don’t deserve this,” she hiccuped. “You don’t deserve this mess.”

Alec looked down and grabbed her chin, forcing him to look at her. “Y/N, you listen to me. You didn’t ask for this. You didn’t choose to have depression, you didn’t choose it.”

“But you can choose. You need to leave, you deserve-”

“I want you. I want you, Y/N. I don’t care about this, we’ll fight it together.”

“Why do you want this? I’m broken.”

He brought her hand and let it rest on his heart, above his scar. “So am I, Darlin. You can’t carry it with you if you want to survive.”

She cried softly onto Alec, and he held her all the same. It didn’t get better like that, but it seemed to help cement something in Y/N. Alec wasn’t going anywhere, and she wasn’t alone. The dog days will be over, and the horses will come. Alec kissed her forehead and held her close.

[wrathofrats]

hi hi hello could you please expand on aether's complicated feelings about dew's elemental transition? (im so hooked on your lore hdv3bdkcg)

Hi omg I’ve been meaning to write a longer official piece about this, so thank you for the excuse for something like that! I’m so happy you’re enjoying my lore side of stuff omg it makes me so giddy???

Basically going through aethers internal monologue of what he feels following the events. Reminder he is going through very heavy guilt and his feelings are a lot more dramatized than what actually happened

No one blames him, only he blames himself

Warnings for angst, guilt, mild self destructive behaviors

For the lore I’m talking about or more context please see #wraths ghost lore (not super necessary, just know aether did dews transition)

He remembers how the magic burned through his fingers.

The way he could see it creep through dews veins as he bled it in through his arms. He remembers the panicked look he gave omega who kept dewdrop subdued on the table as he screamed.

The thoughts don’t go away, haven’t left him in months. The sight of dews face twisted in pain stains the back of his eyes when he sleeps and he can’t look at him without seeing the wounds that have long since healed. It’s his handiwork at the end of the day. The scars over dew's gills are his doing, the burning flare ups dew gets in his joints are his fault. The breakdowns dew has over his new element can only be blamed on aether and he doesn’t think he will ever feel right with himself again over it.

Dews told him it’s not his fault more times than he can count. The now fire ghoul can feel the shame and pity that aether stares at him with.

“I wanted this aeth” dew rubs his hand over aethers shoulder “it had to be done”

“I know” aether leans into the touch.

But he doesn’t

The blood on his hands doesn’t seem to dry. No amount of reassurance that he had to do it takes the guilt away.

There are people out there that have to put down sick dogs, and aether wonders if the blood on their hands disappears when they clock out. Aether wonders if maybe that’s his fate too. If his job was something akin to putting down a sick dog. If he’s intervened in a divine destiny and he’s only created some half put together Frankenstein of his own friend.

He wonders if he’s only simply prolonged the inevitable.

And even if he did save dew he wonders if it was fair to have the responsibility put on himself. A god of force and not of willingness.

The sight of dew sometimes is too much to handle. Not because of any physical shock, he still looks like his dew, but the knowledge of the pain makes aethers stomach crawl up his throat. Dew would’ve been better off without him, he’s sure of it considering how he only seems to hurt him. The thought reassures itself more and more as the time passes. Dews' desperate attempts to wrangle his friend from the depths of guilt only make him feel worse. This shouldn’t be his job. Not after what he’s been through.

Aether retreats. Closes himself off more and more from those who wish to support him most. The genuine belief that he’s harmed someone is truly more than he can bear to handle, let alone to constantly see the fruits of his labor tell him how much he loves him.

His door stays locked most days. His relationships slip from his fingers in his own self wallowing. A recluse of his own fault but

Is there a more fitting fate for him?

[dvasva]

Tbh? I think the radiant emperor duology deserves more critique than it gets in its tag, so after stewing it over for a couple weeks and also discussing it with my friend, I have decided to do it myself.

So. Spoilers for She Who Became the Sun and He Who Drowned The World ahead.

First off, so nobody accuses me of hating the series, I liked the series. I'd say I'd give the first book a 4.5/5, I thoroughly enjoyed it, and I like both books. I truthfully skipped the fisting scene, it triggered some dysphoria that I wasn't comfortable with personally but I don't have problem with it existing in the book, it's good where it is, no changes.

No, my critiques come mostly from the second book, hwdts. Which sucks because I absolutely loved Baoxiang in it, it's a well known fact that my ideal type is pretty, really mean, characters. ('What about Madam Zhang?!!!???!? Shes mean and pretty!!' I hear you ask. Give it a second cause i will get to my beloved madam zhang) So, my critiques are mostly organized as 'The first part I didn't like in Hwdtw that signals the thing that became my biggest issue, the bits in the middle that i did like along with the bits that I felt didn't really work well, and Act 3 which is where my issues really were exacerbated.'

By the end of book one, I had a general annoyance but acceptance that Ma Xiuying was a bit of a weak character, and not weak as in 'dang shes a woman and cant fight' or any other sexist way you may interpret that, but weak as in structurally, she didn't really have as much depth as other characters. I thought she didn't have as much time put into her character as others. And yeah you could have a million character analysis essays over Ma and her place in the story and etc, but for me, her setup for the next book as potentially having conflict with Zhu or her own morals was the most interesting part of Ma. In general I think a lot of people tend to overlook this flaw partly because Ma is a cis lesbian character and the main 'love interest' in a book that is usually marketed to people as sapphic, which yeah there is certainly a sapphic relationship in the book but I think saying it's a major part of the book is really giving the relationship a load bearing wall ot isn't strong enough to carry. The Radiant Emperor Duology is not a romance, first and foremost. To describe it as a wlw romance is gonna leave people who read ot specifically for that reason kinda dissappointed by the end of book 2.

My big critiques didn't start until book two, and a particular scene, though. Ma, at the start of book two, was generally filling the niche of 'nagging wife' to zhu, which yknow, is a fine place to start from. I was a little disappointed there was no further discussion of Ma's disapproval of the morality of Zhu's actions, and in fact the dead child was pretty much entirely forgotten by Ma in favor of being Zhu's wife. Which, yknow, sure.

The Scene I had issue with happened (Spoilers once again) after Zhu finally captures Ouyang and imprisons him at her base of operations. Ma, dressed in her empressly regalia enters his room with the intention of being the bigger person. She walks in, looks at the stripped down and humiliated general who killed her father and famously is also really a women hater, and tells him she forgives him for killing her father. And then she gets upset and cries when the prideful general who hates women gives her a dressing down and taunts her and is like 'I'm glad I killed your father'? She nearly cries because Ouyang was mean to her (notably only cause he was mean to her and didn't gracefully accept her forgiveness, not because he killed ehr father) and runs off to Zhu. And Zhu responds with 'Wow, he's just a weirdo, everyone likes you and everyone in existance immediately knows you're a good person and you change people.' Which, my friend suggested before she finished the book, was a case of Zhu placating Ma and dismissing her feelings which would be an interesting dynamic.

Really my hangups with this scene come from multiple parts.

1. Ma' few character traits including being observant and reading people really well (a thing she's praised for in book 1) and having good social intuition are completely thrown out by her thinking being alone with ouyang and forgiving him would be a good idea and then her being shocked and upset when he spat on her forgiveness. And

2. Zhu's response is never once treated by the text as her dismissing Ma and placating her, and Zhu's statement despite never being shown to be true before and that moment being the first time it's ever mentioned, ends up becoming Chekov's moral purity by the end of the book, where the plot hinges on Ma being able to magically heal a damaged character's mind enough for Zhu to win in the end. Which I will get back to. There's a lot of other stuff happening between here and the end.

So, before I get back to Ma and her role in the story, I'll address some other bits from after this scene. Both problems and things I enjoyed generally.

Madam Zhang and her parallels to Baoxiang and her being the absolute queen of dissociating really was interesting (before act 3). She was a very compelling character who I completely understood and felt positively about. She had a way more interesting relationship with gender imo than Ma did, especially in book 2. I didn't really like that she was overwhelmingly shown having sexual villence done to her, that felt weirdly like a punishment. But, I did like her a whole bunch, and I liked the look we got into her head. She was probably my second, maybe third, favorite character in the whole book until Act 3.

I really, really liked Ouyangs dynamic and relationship with Zhu. The weird sexual tension between them, their weird kinda nonsexual but also kinda very sexual S&M relationship. It was somehow the most sensual, sexual part of a book that featured Madam Zhang having sex with multiple people, and Zhu going down on Ma, and a lot of other mentions of sex or scenes involving sex. Tbh I feel like, in a way, Ma was left to the sidelines for most of the book because Ouyang became the primary 'love' interest for a hot second there and the only reason Ma could get her spot back was Ouyang and Zbu's separation. Also, from what I've seen when people talk about this book, they always kinda try to express Zhu and Ouyang's dynamic as very nonsexual and nonromantic, as platonic mostly. And there is no inherent superiority of romantic over platonic, but I think to insist that it is only platonic, and not a strange swirl of romantic, platonic, sexual, frustration and relief, and a swirl of familiarity and vulnerability all wrapped into one, is doing the dynamic a bit of a disservice. And ther is, imo, very clearly a subtle hint of romantic intent and interest on Ouyang's part before he realizes Zhu has a body he hates.

Which is also another point I didn't like. Ouyang and Zhu's relationship end felt off. The entire bit with the pirates felt off, but especially how Ouyang found out about Zbu's body, and how Zhu reacted. I think Ouyang finding out second hand, from a combination of being suspicious and from Jiang saying it, was a poor way for that to be revealed. I think there was a better way for that to happen that woyld have felt more like a betrayl to zhu than this did. The fact that Zhu and Ouyang were so in tune and could see each other perfectly, but this one thing was a blind spot for both of them because of how unaffected by gender Zhu was compared to how overaffected by gender Ouyang was is a really interesting thing to explore, an interesting disconnect between two character's whose entire basis for their relationship is 'like recognizes like'. I think Zhu seeing it as a betrayl would have been more impactful if she had presented this informatuon to Ouyang herself and been rejected than how it went down. And, I think her not realizing Ouyang would be disgusted that he felt connected and felt a sameness to someone with a body he found grotesque and that he feared would have been more interesting for zhu, who views herself outside of womanhood and didnt really think that other people would not see her outside of womanhood, if she was the one who told ouyang herself.

Also, less importantly, think going into Ouyangs annoyance that zhu kept moving his target further away was a good move but it wasn't expanded on as much for my taste. I also really liked it when (spoiler) Xu Da dies, and that entire part despite some minir bits, was extremely good in that Zhu finally has tasted loss. She had, up until that point, been riding a wave of positivity, she was the underdog who won over and over again despite all the odds and despite her own reckless choices. So I did appreciate that everything went wrong for her at least once. that would have been, imo if other things were changed, a good place to end a book two in a three book series. Which will make sense as to why I mention it im a bit.

I also didn't like how Ma was nonexistant unless the plot was like 'ok we need to remind people that Ma exists.'

And there's of course other stuff but those are the main points of acts 1 and 2 that i wasn't fond of or that i liked.

Act 3 is a wholely different behemoth which can be encapsulated with 'I wish it was longer but also different' (courtesy of the convo my friend and I had).

My friend and I both agreed that we liked this kind of courtly drama game it was playing. My friend doesn't tend to like the structure or writing style of a lot of the chinese wuxia, danmei, or courtly drama translated books i read, so it was nice to know that the genre content isn't the issue for her there.

The biggest problems I had with the ending though was 1. I think Baoxiang and Ma had an interesting dynamic despite it being really rushed and how distasteful I found the entire concept of Ma being such a good wholesome goody good good person that she could change Baoxiang, quiet his demons and fix him in some way. That was annoying in an otherwise interesting dynamic. And 2. I think Madam Zhang's character traits and cleverness and all that were wiped away to make her inexplicably jealous of Ma in a way that I don't think fit her character and just served to fit a trope of jealous empress who hates the favored concubine.

So, here's my major proposed changes.

1. Ma gets sent to Khanbaliq extremely early on. Like, act one maybe after ouyang is captured early. This serves three purposes. A. Ma has something to do and is more present in the story. this could be a good xhance to let her actually feel frustrated or upset at Zhu in some tangible way that needs to be resolved or talked thru eventually. B. she gets more time to build a relationship with Baoxiang, whose entire defeat hinges on him having a strong connection with her. and C. Her absence in the other parts of the book feel less like she's being ignored or forgotten. It makes Zhu's lack of haste more than just a way to annoy Ouyang, and turns it into an interesting moral choice. Should she rush to Khanbaliq to save Ma or trust that Ma will be ok in favor of gaining power? Her lack of haste means Ouyang leaves, depressed, and she loses Xu Da, all while she doesn't even have the assurance that Ma is ok, she is truly at her lowest point with nobody with her. If Ma is in Khanbaliq and that's explored, then Zhu and Ouyang can also explore their dynamic without Ma feeling a bit like she is battling for Zhu's attention.

2. Madam Zhang is suspicious of Ma, or feels actually tangibly threatened by Ma. In act 3, Madam Zhang's anger towards Ma feels really out of place. She got exactly what she wants, she is empress, her emperor isn't interested in removing her from her position and her position isn't threatened by anyone. Baoxiang won't get rid of her, he won't demote her, he has shown zero sign of ever even considering it. So, why is Madam Zhang jealous of Ma? Imo, especially since she very clearly has dissociated into oblivion and has no love or affection for anyone anymore, and no real desire or motivation to secure her position further aside from maybe producing an heir to make sure shes taken care of after Baoxiang dies, there's no reason for her to be inextricably jealous of Ma. It kinda just erases all of Madam Zhang's political savvy and cunning into jealous, petty woman, and that sucks. If she was suspicious of Ma's intention, or Baoxiang genuinely expressed spmething that actively threatened her position, her hatred of Ma would make sense, but instead she hates Ma cause Ma is ugly and spends every night with Baoxiang. She hated rice buckets concubine cause that concubine used a lot of funds and competition genuinely made her position less stable. She needs better motivation for hating Ma.

3. As I mentioned earlier, Zhu needs to be the one to tell Ouyang that she does not have a dick. That's just all around better, it feels more like a betrayl to bare your secrets and be rejected, etc etc.

4. The duology should have been a trilogy, with book 3 starting when Zhu is at her lowest, ouyang is dead, ma is in khanbaliq, Xu Da is dead, a new guy is the emperor. This is where a book three should have started. in a series that has so many important characters, i feel like it needs more space. she's in a 10 gallon tank when really she needs a 30 gallon tank. Lots of it, especially towards the end of book 2, felt rushed and the extra book will absolutely push that back a bit and make it less rushed.

Anyways that's my critique of The Radiant emperor duology. Once Again, I liked the series, its one of my favorites i've read all year. I don't dislike it, and having a critique or opinion about something doesnt mean I didn't like the book or understand the book (because obviously if i understood it i would understand why its flawless). I liked it, there are things I wish were different, that's it.

[island-in-the-shadows]

Ngl, I'm gonna take alll my DM shipper feels, put them in a box, bury the box, and leave it there for five years like a time capsule so that I can dig them up a few seasons down at the appropriate time. That way, next season, I won't have to remind myself that I cannot hold a show to what I want (this is why we have fanfiction, lol). But at least with this there's hope for the future.

Anyway---I am SO ready for the absolute chaos! I'm ready for Daniel and Louis teaming up even if Louis could explode at any time, I'm ready for Claudia who did NOT deserve ANY of it (😢), I'm ready for Louis standing up, I'm ready for Lestat because I can't even begin to image the insanity of that trial, I'm ready for Santiago to be the worst but also SERVE, I'm ready for Armand to have done all the things that he will never truly manage to atone for, I'm ready for the S1 revisits, I am SO ready for Louis to go all Firestarter on the TdV, I'm ready for the bodice ripper moment between Loumand, and the MUCH needed hug between Loustat (when is that even happening I have so many QUESTIONS), I'm ready for more of Raglan James and what that could mean for next season given his role in the books, I'm ready to see if that prop is the legit published book that Daniel writes or not, etc...

One of the beauties of Interview with the Vampire is that nothing is ever quite as we expect and it's always FANTASTIC! I know we're 3 weeks out from the end of the season but I'm already going to miss the giddy feeling of waiting for an episode every week and seeing it twice on the same day and seeing all the speculation afterwards. Regardless of the fighting or the shipping discourse (regardless of my rankings I am a toxic polycule believer ^_^), it really has been so fun to see everyone on here get excited and have the show trending every week.

Fingers crossed for the S3 confirmation soon after S2 ends!

[lollytea]

The Blight family are so interesting IN THEORY. In execution they are....😬

[grimmweepers]

so close to a milestone already and i haven’t even been back for a month :(